#and certainly not on behalf of any community

[fanfenomenon]

i just know haytham would be the type to keep a locket with a picture of shay on it

in an AU where haytham took a young connor under his wing, I could imagine that he would give his son the most elite education in languages, literature, arts, and philosophy. one of them being drawing classes. 

when connor grew up, his skills in the arts further improved. being older now, he would notice how his father had grown rather fond of his associate, shay. connor didn't mind it though, he even thought this would be a good thing for haytham. after all, his father has been through so much pain. and with the death of his mother and the only woman haytham ever felt deep affection for, died any hope within the older man to find another lover.

even so, he thought his father deserved a second chance at love. thus begins connor's multiple attempts to win shay's heart on behalf of his father.

his father's birthday was coming up, and he wanted to give him a gift. shay was away on a mission for a few months, leaving him and his father stuck with each other’s company. haytham became more uncharacteristically irritable as the days went by, though connor understood it. communication was scarce, and due to the nature of their work, there will always be the possibility that shay wouldn’t be able to return.

it was unlikely for shay to be able to return on his father’s birthday, and both connor and haytham knew that. every year, the other templars would hold a celebration for the grandmaster, which undoubtedly would be the same this year, but what makes it so different is the absence of his father’s source of affection. well, connor would also be in attendance, as he always was years before, and haytham certainly wouldn’t be displeased with that. the older man missed the first few years of his son’s life and always wished to make up for lost time by celebrating milestones and happy moments with his only child.

still, connor couldn’t ignore his father’s forlornness, and he wanted to cheer him up in a way, but… how?

one night, a few days before haytham’s birthday, connor decided to visit his father’s quarters. he knew he had been feeling a bit lonely recently and thought perhaps he needed some company. after knocking a few times, he opened the door and found the older man fast asleep. walking closer to the bed, he found a letter on the floor. the younger man picked it up and saw the familiar penmanship of none other than shay cormac. he quickly took his eyes off the letter and placed it on the bedside table. he didn’t need to read their correspondence; he was taught to respect the privacy of others after all, and… he really didn’t want to know that much about his father’s love life.

connor looked back at haytham, feeling relief at how peacefully he was asleep. he was worried his father was having trouble sleeping and taking care of himself in the absence of one of his most special members of the order. the mohawk smiled as he glanced at the letter on the bedside table. he really missed his associate…

…and that was all he needed to know to decide what he was going to give to his father as a birthday present.

haytham was having his usual afternoon tea in his garden. he had been trying to distract himself from thinking about the irishman. it only hurts him to know that he’s so far away, that sometimes he even regrets sending him on that mission. but, they both know that they have a responsibility to the order and the safety of humankind itself. he was about to take another sip of his tea when the loud yet familiar footsteps of his son came crashing in.

“what is it now, boy?”

“happy birthday, father.”

oh, was it already his birthday?

he’d been so preoccupied with work that he’d forgotten what most people deem as the most special day of one’s life. he looked at the small locket his son held in his hand and gently took and inspected it a little more carefully. his eyes widened at the portrait of the person within the gold-plated pendant.

“this is… shay…”

connor smiled at how his father’s eyes seemed to sparkle in an instant. 

haytham examined the locket even more closely. the brushstrokes and the colors, he felt like he’d seen a great many artworks that had the same motifs before.

“did… did you make this?”

connor was grinning at this point, delighted to see his father’s surprised expression. before he could nod and comment on his father’s uncharacteristic show of mere shock, he suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap around him.

“thank you, son.”

connor stood still, startled at the unexpected physical contact. it was rare for his father to show some vulnerability, though he would always be glad to see his father open up to others more. he hugged the older man back, squeezing tightly and patting his back. as haytham pulled away, the brit couldn’t seem to hide his smile. he looked at the locket again, sliding his thumb over shay’s portrait. he glanced back at connor and asked,

“but, why…?”

“why not?”

haytham sighed, and connor could sense that the other man wasn’t satisfied with his answer.

“well, i’ve noticed that you’ve grown rather… fond… of master cormac.”

haytham slightly blushed at that, looking away from his son in embarrassment. he heard his son snicker and glared back at him. connor wasn’t intimidated at all, however. he stood still, grinning and beaming at his father.

“i’d rather you not mention that ever again.”

connor chuckled at that, placing his hands behind his back, he stood straight and excused himself. 

“as you wish, sir.”

he sarcastically replied, turning his heel to leave the gardens. once he was face to face with the estate’s double doors, he glanced back at his father sitting on one of the benches. there was a gentle smile on haytham’s face, looking peaceful as he was when connor saw him fast asleep in his quarters a few nights ago. he was still holding the locket, gazing at it in pure adoration.

connor smiled and went back to his quarters, thinking perhaps he should also paint a portrait of his father for shay when he returns.

[truepsychicbedtimestories]

A Personal Observation I’ve Made About The Agere Community

I haven't been very active on the Tumblr side of the agere community for quite some time, but now that I'm interacting with the community again, I've noticed how white-centric the agere community can sometimes be. Granted, a lot of online communities tend to have that problem, but it’s especially noticeable in the agere community.

Now, I don't want to assume that all age regressors are automatically racist because they don't make content that specifically caters to regressors of color, but I have noticed that a lot of general posts about age regressors tend to assume that the regressor in question is white. They don't really take into account the different cultural practices, holidays or hobbies that might be more relatable for regressors of color, and tend to assume that every regressor is a white American who grew up in the suburbs.

The optimist in me wants to believe that these are simply oversights on the part of people unfamiliar with different cultures and their customs. But in my opinion, to make the agere community a much more inclusive and welcoming place, more people should take into consideration the fact that age regression is a universal thing. No two regressors are exactly the same, whether it's the food they eat or the holidays they celebrate.

Diversity is what makes the world so special, and I think the agere community should celebrate it more often! The best thing about a community is learning more about the people in it, where they come from and what makes their culture so unique. A little open-mindedness can go a long way, and can certainly help regressors of color feel less like outsiders.

Obviously, I realize I cannot speak on behalf of every single age regressor of color. These are just my personal thoughts on the matter. If anyone has their own two-cents they’d like to chip in with, feel free! I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts.

[White age regressors are allowed and encouraged to reblog this, but please don’t add any commentary that’d be less than helpful]

[melzula]

Smoke and Shadow

part two

pairing: Zuko x Princess!reader

notes: final part is here! hope you guys enjoy and thank you for being patient as always

summary: the group is one step closer to finding the missing children and Azula, but that doesn’t mean all of their problems will be solved

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

“We decided to do some investigating after Zuko kicked Aang out of the throne room,” Suki explains to you as your trio runs after the Avatar and Fire Lord. “We wanted to see if there were any clues left behind from Kiyi’s kidnapping or Azula’s Kemurikage attack on the palace last night.”

“And even though we couldn’t find anything, I realized there was something fishy about the way she was able to escape so quickly!” Ty Lee adds with a keen smile. “When we used to play hide-and-seek as kids, she’d always manage to win by hiding in this secret passage way tucked into the palace walls. It must be how the Kemurikage were able to escape so quickly.”

“Good thinking, Ty Lee. Although, I still can’t believe she kidnapped her own sister,” you note with a disgruntled shake of your head. “That’s low even for her.”

“This is Azula we’re talking about,” Suki reminds you, and that in itself is enough of an explanation for her behavior.

You finally skid to a stop after reaching the palace rooftops where Aang and Zuko land. The Avatar carelessly drops your boyfriend on the tile, and you wince on his behalf before offering Zuko your hand to help him back up onto his feet.

“Did you have fun?” You ask with a teasing smile only for the Fire Lord to scowl.

“Don’t ever do that again!” He scolds Aang whilst dusting off his robes.

“Okay, okay, but look!” the boy insists before pressing down on a loose brick that opens up a hidden doorway.

“A secret passageway! So you think this is how Azula and the other Kemurikage escape? How did you figure this out?”

“They searched for clues after you kicked them out of the throne room,” you tell him with a pointed look that has him shrinking guiltily under your gaze. “I think you owe Aang an apology.”

“You’re right,” he murmurs sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I should have been more open to your ideas.”

“Apology accepted!” Aang chirps happily. “Now what’s our next move?”

“Well�� Kiyi could be on the other side.”

“Tom-Tom, too. I’m coming along,” Mai interjects firmly, seemingly forgetting Kei Lo’s presence until he corrects her statement with a “We’re coming along.”

Zuko instructs Suki and Ty Lee to stay back and guard the palace, so you bid your friends goodbye before beginning your descent into the narrow passageway. The hallway is cold and claustrophobic, but Aang and Zuko lead the way with their fire bending, cautioning you to watch your step behind them.

You’re quiet for the most part, mulling over your thoughts and insecurities now that you’re given a moment’s silence to think. You’re still feeling a bit insecure about walking in on him with Mai and about his animosity towards Kei Lo, but you haven’t had the chance to talk to him yet. The long distance has been hard on your relationship, and sometimes it’s hard to keep consistent communication when both of you have duties to tend to and entire nations to run, but you never thought it would be a problem. Now, you’re not so sure.

You recall what Azula had told you during your time in the Forgetful Valley, how you and Zuko were an “unnatural” pair that would never work. You hate to admit it or even think it, but what if she’s right? What if you’re just kidding yourself? Maybe Mai really has been the right girl for him all along. After all, she is Fire Nation, and she certainly is more qualified to be dating the Fire Lord than you are. You wish Suki were here to talk to, surely she’d know just what to say and could stop you from spiraling like you are now, but without her it seems it’s just you and your thoughts for now.

“Hey, I didn’t get to introduce myself earlier,” a voice says, pulling you out of your thoughts. “I’m Kei Lo, Mai’s boyfriend.”

“Yes, I’m sorry, everything’s just been so chaotic. I’m y/n, Zuko’s girlfriend.”

“That’s right, Mai told me. Say, aren’t you a Chief? Should I be calling you Chief y/n instead?”

“Just y/n is perfectly fine,” you correct him with an awkward laugh. Unbeknownst to you, Zuko is listening in on every word. He doesn’t trust Kei Lo, not one bit, and he doesn’t want him roping you into any trouble. He doesn’t care if he really isn’t in cahoots with the Safe Nation Society, if Kei Lo so much as looks at you in a way Zuko doesn’t like he’ll be tossed into a cell immediately.

“So how’s a Chief of a water tribe end up dating the Fire Lord?” He asks with a laugh.

“It’s a very long story.”

“Please spare me the details,” Mai says with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, it may not be the best time for that story,” you note with an apprehensive smile.

“You’re probably right. Still, it’s a pretty awkward situation we’ve all found ourselves in.”

“You can say that again.”

After some time group is finally able to reach the end of the passageway, and the only thing standing in your way from the other side is a solid wooden door.

“This must be it,” Zuko announces hopefully. “Behind this door could be Kiyi and Tom-Tom.”

“And Azula,” Aang adds apprehensively before helping the Fire Lord push the heavy wood open. The creak of the old hinges is deafening, echoing in the silent hallway, and you watch with bated breath as the light from the other side slowly begins to seep in. Carefully, you follow the two out the door only to be met with a disappointing site.

There are no missing children and there is no Azula. Instead, you’re faced with a gloomy and desolate graveyard.

“What is this place?” You murmur in awe, your eyes scanning across the expanse of withered headstones. You’ve never seen anything like it.

“I’ve been here before,” Zuko notes thoughtfully, “this is the royal family graveyard.”

“I thought that’s what the Dragonstone catacombs were for,” Aang questions with furrowed brows.

“No, the catacombs are only for Fire Lords. This place is for everyone else. It’s called the Garden of Tranquil Souls.”

“Really? Well, I hate to break it to you, Zuko, but…” the Avatar begins uneasily, and you follow his shifting gaze towards the clouds of smoke that begin to surround the graveyard. Taking a step back, you reach to unclip your water pouch as the dark figures begin to close in on your group. “The souls here don’t seem all that tranquil!”

The group of Kemurikage don’t hesitate to attack, and immediately your group is split apart as you all begin to defend yourselves against their assault. Blasts of fire are shot your way left and right, but you’re able to deflect it every time with your water bending. You manage to take down two of the spirits by encasing them up to their necks in ice, but your progress only seems to make a dent in their ambush. Zuko and Aang are still corned back to back, and Azula has managed to single out Mai and Kei Lo. She holds the boy by the collar of his shirt, eyes full of malice and hand ready to strike him with her blue flames despite Mai’s pleas for her to leave her boyfriend alone.

Before she can harm him, you send a blast of water towards her with an effortful grunt that shoots her across the graveyard and into one of the pillars. The impact is forceful enough to put a crack in the tombstone and disorient Azula momentarily to allow Kei Lo and Mai the chance to escape.

“Are you alright?” You ask him after rushing towards the couple. Mai helps him to his feet before looking to you, her eyes full of gratitude and sincerity.

“Thank you,” she says earnestly, and you give her an appreciative nod in return.

Rising from the ground with a grunt of pain, Azula is filled with rage at your assault on her. How dare you think you can beat her at her own game?

“Helping out your competition? That’s pathetic even for you, dearest,” she insults, irises aflame with fury. “Perhaps you and Zuko are more compatible than I thought.”

“What’s pathetic is the fact that you’re still obsessed with becoming Fire Lord,” you spit back, water cloaking your arms to form tentacle-like limbs for attack.

“Oh, I’m much past that now. I have a new mission,” she notes airily with a passive wave of her hand. Her eyes harden suddenly then and electricity begins to spread across her fingertips. “One that simply won’t work with you in the picture.”

Before she can raise her hands to strike you with her lightening blast, Zuko is quick to send a hail of flames her way to distract her. “Leave her out of this! It’s me you want!”

“Oh, Zuzu, always so dramatic,” she mocks before creating a cloud of smoke to cover her as she runs away.

“You have to go after her!” You exclaim urgently. “I’ll stay back and help Aang handle the rest of the Kemurikage.”

After ensuring you’ll be fine without him, Zuko gives you one final nod before chasing after his sister. You, on the other hand, rush back towards Aang to see if he needs any help. However, it seems he’s been able to manage the assailants just fine on his own.

“Princess! Where’d everybody go?” He asks, perplexed at the sudden disappearance of your group.

“Zuko went after Azula. I’m not sure where Mai and Kei Lo are,” you note as you scan the garden for any sign of them. “What do we do now? We still haven’t found the missing children.”

As if on cue, a shrill voice coming from the passageway calls out for help. You exchange an alarmed glance with Aang before immediately sprinting back into the doorway. A breath of relief leaves you at the sight of Mai’s father with the children in tow, but your ease is short lived at the sight of the two Kemurikage that hold them captive.

“Look!” One of the kids exclaims. “It’s the Avatar and Chief y/n!”

“Hi kids, we’ve been looking all over for you!” Aang says with an overjoyed wave.

“Are you guys alright?!” You call out protectively. “Is anyone hurt?”

“We’re great!” Kiyi calls back prompting you to let out a relieved laugh. You’re so happy to see her and see that she’s okay, but your joyous reunion is quickly cut short by the two spirits who begin to approach the two of you with whips of fire.

“Hang on, kids!” You tell them before beginning to take on the Kemurikage. There’s two of them, so you and Aang each take on one. They’re powerful fighters, but the safety of the children is on the line, so you use all of your might to fight them off as best as you can.

You counter their whip with one of your own, slicing through their weapon each time before it can strike you. While one of your hands controls the water whip, the other sends constant shards of ice hurtling toward the cloaked woman. You can tell she’s beginning to tire, your attacks too much for her to keep up with, but you’re too focused to notice the second figure approaching closely behind you. The Kemurikage’s whip is raised to strike you in the back, but their attack is halted by the blade that slices through the air and pins their hand against the wall.

“What-!” You exhale in surprise, turning just in time to see Mai swoop in and finish the job. The last two spirits have been apprehended, and you’ve been spared a wound that surely could have been fatal.

“Someone had to watch your back,” Mai explains with a faint smile. “You had ours.”

“Thank you,” you utter with a breathless grin. It feels nice to not hate each other for once, and you actually seem to work quite well together.

“Y/n! Y/n!” A voice calls, stealing your attention away from the girl and back to the children. Kiyi sprints towards you with a gleeful smile, and you’re quick to scoop her up into your arms and give her the tightest hug. “You came back!”

“I promised, didn’t I?” You say with a playful smile, carefully pushing back the hair from her face. “I’m so relieved to see you’re okay, and I know Zuko will be too.”

“Guess what? I’m a fire bender now!” She boasts proudly. “I burned a hole through the door so we could escape!”

“That’s incredible!” You praise with a laugh. “Wait until your brother hears this.”

Across the way, Mai cradles her little brother in her arms and watches you speak animatedly with Zuko’s sister. Your interest in Kiyi’s story is completely genuine, and she can see just how much the girl values your opinion. It’s so different from the way Azula used to talk about you, speaking poorly of your character and diminishing you to nothing but a weak Princess. Maybe Mai had judged you too harshly. After all, she might not have been able to get her brother back without your help.

“Thank you again for your help,” she tells you after setting Tom-Tom down to allow him to bid his goodbyes to his new friends. “I was wrong about you, and I shouldn’t have let my resentment cloud my judgement the way I did. I guess I really don’t hate you as much as I thought I did.”

“I appreciate you saying that,” you express with a careful smile. Perhaps things will always be awkward between the two of you, but this is at least a good start.

After making sure all of the children are accounted for, your group exits the passageway just as Zuko emerges from one of the mausoleums. Kiyi is quick to sprint towards her brother, and you watch on with a smile at the way his eyes seem to light up while hugging her close.

“Kiyi! I can’t tell you how worried I was about you.”

“I wasn’t worried at all!” She notes with a grateful smile. “You should’ve seen it, Zuzu! Y/n helped the Avatar take those nasty ladies down!”

“She did, did she?” He asks playfully, glancing over to you with a grateful smile. You simply give him a sheepish shrug in return. “I’ll have to be sure to give her my thanks.”

“And Azula?” You ask him, but his solemn gaze is enough of an answer. “She said she had a new mission, did she tell you what it was?”

“She wasn’t interested in becoming Fire Lord, she was interested in turning me into the type of Fire Lord she would be. The type that rules with fear, ruthlessness. Just like my father. Azula says I can’t escape who I am, and it will only be a matter of time before I’m just like her.”

“You don’t believe that, do you? You’re nothing like Azula,” you say earnestly. “You never will be.”

“I know,” Zuko murmurs softly, but you can see the slightest bit of doubt in his eyes and it saddens to you to know he doesn’t fully believe it to be true. “But either way she escaped. I don’t know where she is or when she’ll return.”

“We’ll be there to help you if she does come back, buddy,” Aang consoles with a comforting hand on the Fire Lord’s shoulder. “For now, let’s just focus on returning these kids back to their families.”

“Good point, Aang. Now,” you say, looking to the children who stare up at you with tired eyes that immediately brighten when you ask, “who’s ready to go home?”

~~~

Peace has been restored in the Fire Nation; the children have been returned safely to their parents, and Zuko has earned the forgiveness of his people for his mishandling of the situation. Everything is almost perfect.

You lean against the balcony of your room for the night and stare up contemplatively at the moon. Yue shines beautifully as always, and you find comfort in her light as you battle against the darkness clouding your thoughts. Your doubts about your relationship still rage on, and you haven’t been able to fight them off no matter how hard you try. You haven’t mentioned anything to Zuko, not wanting to distract him from his duty to his people, but the suffering in silence act you’ve been pulling all day hasn’t been helping your state of mind. Suki had urged you to talk to him, stating you had nothing to worry about because she’s seen firsthand how much he misses you when you’re away, but you were too anxious to follow through. What if you won’t like what you hear when you finally speak to Zuko?

You’re too engrossed in your thoughts to hear your door open or the quiet footsteps that head towards you, and it isn’t until he’s right beside you that you finally feel the familiar warmth that constantly emanates from his body. You don’t have to look to know that it’s Zuko.

“Suki said I should come to talk to you,” he says softly, golden eyes looking to you inquisitively. “Is everything alright?”

“I… I’m not sure,” you admit quietly, nervously fidgeting with your fingers and refusing to meet his gaze.

“What is it?”

His hand sneaks its way in between your own to halt your fidgeting and reassure that he’s right there with you and ready to listen to whatever it is you have to say. Sighing, you finally look to him with uncertainty swimming in your eyes.

“Do you have feelings for Mai?”

He’s stunned to stay the least, eyes widening slightly in surprise at your question. It’s certainly the last thing he expected you to ask him.

“Is this what you were trying to talk to me about earlier?” He presses gently, frowning at the way you slowly nod your head. “I see…”

“Just be honest with me, Zuko,” you plead desperately. “We promised we’d never keep secret from each other anymore, so if there’s something to tell then tell me. I can handle it.”

“I can’t stand here and tell you that it didn’t look bad when you walked in on Mai and I,” Zuko admits with a sigh. “But I can tell you that nothing was going on.”

“I heard you say you care about her.”

“It was out of context. I was trying to make things right for the sake of finding the children- she was obviously still upset over what went down between us, and I was trying to keep the peace so that we could work together to find our siblings. I’ve known her since we were kids, and if it weren’t for her I never would have been able to escape Boiling Rock and come back to you. So in a way I guess I do care for her, but it’s nothing compared to how much I care for you.”

“What about your animosity towards Kei Lo? You seemed… jealous of him.”

“I wasn’t jealous, I just didn’t trust him. I still don’t,” Zuko says adamantly. “I wasn’t exactly thrilled about having to release him because I didn’t want him to try and pull anything. I didn’t want Mai getting hurt, and I especially didn’t want him putting you in any danger.”

“So… so you don’t have feelings for her?” You ask meekly, the slightest bit of doubt still present in your voice.

“I’ve never had feelings for her,” Zuko says earnestly before gently taking your hands in his own. “You’re the only girl for me, y/n. I was stupid enough to let you go once, but I’m never making that mistake again.”

You can’t help but smile at his admission, tears beginning to well in your eyes as you throw your arms around him in a tight embrace that he immediately returns. It feels like a weight has finally been lifted off your shoulders, and all the worry and self doubt you had is finally beginning to melt away.

“I never want you to feel doubtful or insecure about our relationship ever again. I’m going to do everything in my power to do better,” he professes earnestly. “I love you more than you know, and you don’t ever have to worry about someone coming between us again.”

“I love you, Zuko.”

He pulls you in for a kiss, and with the moonlight shining down upon you both, everything is almost perfect.

For neither of you notice the pair of golden eyes that stare down at you from the rooftops with disdain and disgust before disappearing into the shadows.

“Pathetic.”

| atla tags: @sirkekselord @niktwazny303

| zuko tags: @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @taeeemin

| fire lilies tags: @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @xapham @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @chilifrylizard2 @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee @freggietale @moon-spirit-yue @bubblegum-bee-otch

[tiltedsyllogism]

Thread here.

Text of a four-message thread from @authorjess:

1) If you are a Palestine ally, and you are leaning toward a third-party or no vote, I beg you to listen to me. As a Palestinian- American who lost direct family in the Nakba, I am giving you permission to vote for Kamala, if that’s what you need to hear. Here is why:

2) If HE wins, if you hand HIM this victory, our activism on behalf of Palestine will all but stop. We will be forced so far back here in America, will not have the time, energy, or space to continue to advocate in the way we need to be able to. We will not be able to hold protests or marches or rallies for Palestine. HIS administration will destroy any attempts to publicly gather for this cause. They CERTAINLY will not hear us in private.

3) We have gathered more allies in the past year than I think we’ve ever had in the history of this fight. But if HE wins, you will see those allies evaporate. Because they will be fighting for their very existence. because we sacrificed them for our own consciences.

4) My beloved SWANA community and allies: we will continue this fight. But we must ensure that we defend our capacity TO fight. At this point, a third-party vote is a vote for HIM, and a vote AGAINST any hope Palestine has left. We will never have the chance to rebuild the coalitions and momentum we have built this year.

We will lose EVERYTHING.

Vote Harris/Walz, and then let us continue this fight for liberation!

—-

I am the grandchild of Holocaust survivors. For me, this legacy entails a special obligation to fight back against genocide, and a particular anguish at knowing that genocide is being committed in my name. In a very real way, “what would I do in the face of another genocide” has been the organizing moral question of my entire life. Would I be like the people who helped save my grandmother, or would I be like the people who turned her away, and turned away her friends and family members who starved or were murdered because their neighbors failed them? All of which is to say: I understand being a single-issue voter on this, I really do.

But as the thread above makes clear, the best way to be a single-issue voter for Palestine is to vote for Harris— not even because we can trust her to stop enabling Israel (I think the odds are better than with Trump, but that’s beside the point here) but because, if Trump becomes President again, much of the pro-Palestine coalition in the US will be drawn to (or forced to) fight for other things.

[drconstellation]

The Ineffable Ducks

What's with all the ducks in Good Omens that Crowley seems to be inordinately fond of? Turns out, they do have a narrative purpose, they're not just in there as a running joke about Crowley's fondness for the animals of Earth.

They appear in both S1 and S2, and get mentioned in several seemingly random places. Like, really random. There are quite a few in St James Park, where the ducks live, where the international spies also clandestinely meet, where Aziraphale and Crowley meet on several occasions, and where Crowley and Shax have a meeting, exchanging information in S2E1.

Ducks also get referred to here, when Aziraphale suggests they use humans to search and spy out the missing Antichrist, but Crowley insists it will be near impossible because suspicion slides off the boy like water off, what ever water slides off, because he has an automatic defense system.

The he remembers the ducks(!) later in the Bentley when they discuss using their respective networks of highly trained human operatives (Shadwell and the Witchfinder army), and Aziraphale asks if Crowley has a better idea than his. "Ducks!" Crowley suddenly utters.

The ducks that are always there, that you see but don't see, gathering bread crumbs, when any kind of surveillance or secret spy work is being discussed.

Nah, I thought, it couldn't be a sly ref to this famous cartoon by Larson, could it?

Aziraphale and Crowley are always afraid that someone is watching, or listening to everything they do, from both sides. I mean isn't that partly why we got the ending we did in S2, because they have had to be so covert with their communication to each over the centuries they've forgotten how to speak plainly to each other?

Heaven has definitely been watching...

And Hell certainly noticed Crowley's act of kindness in the Edinburgh cemetery, swiftly summoning him to Hell for punishment after his kind deed on behalf of Elspeth.

Then when the duo meet in again 1867 Crowley wonders if "ducks have ears" before declaring they must do - that's how they hear other ducks. So its no surprise that when Crowley asks Aziraphale for holy water that he writes the request on a piece of paper to hide it from those invisible ever-present watchers they know are never far away.

When we come to the start of S2, where Crowley is slouched in St James Park once more, reading the Tadfield Advertiser, and yelling at the Azerbaijani secret agents for feeding the ducks bread. Crumbs, it was alright to do this in the book, and S1, why is wrong now? Has Crowley suddenly become woke and caring for the ducks? Nah.

There's a lot more to it than that. I realized this is the missing Grain offering from my post about altar offerings (see The Altar of Eccles Cakes) in S2. A Grain offering represents a voluntary expression of devotion to God - or the other side you're supposed to be aligned with, in this case.

Shax is part of this scene, discussing the latest news from below, and she mentions some special intel that Hell has received, from their own secret squirrel network. Of course they would meet in St James Park to discuss this, along with all the other spies. While Shax tries to get some intel out of Crowley about what might be going on in Heaven, because she knows he has contact with a certain angel who owns a book shop, Crowley responds by refusing to show any devotion to his former side at this point, and isn't going to give any information away that could be useful. He also doesn't have any intel at this point, anyway, but he's not going to give that away either! Heaven and Hell are toxic, and no one should be going anywhere near them, in his opinion. So stop feeding them that devotional bread!

After Shax asks what they should be feeding the ducks, he eventually says "Frozen Peas. It's good for them, they like it."

The short period of "peas" since they stopped the impending Apocalypse has been enjoyable, and good for Crowley and Aziraphale, but the forced meeting with Beelzebub later that day soon jolts Crowley out of any complacency when they indicate that the "generalized understanding" Crowley thought they had with Heaven and Hell after the body swap to leave them alone, the one Aziraphale-as-Crowley negotiated, while asking for a rubber duck, no less, was looking very shaky and fragile indeed.

And one more random duck ref to discuss.

I was inspired to write this section by lalalunamoth's post calling Muriel a duckling imprinted on Crowley, and of course I did not save it, did I, and a search does not bring it back up again (found it!), so if you're reading this, or know that post, please let me know! I read it, and thought, cute, but nah, then realized that Muriel was sent on a surveillance mission to Whickber St to ascertain the truth of Aziraphale's 25 lazurii miracle. And she did act as the eyes of Heaven, writing up some reports, called Crowley "grice," then followed him around during his escapade in Heaven just like a duckling following a grumpy gander drake while he did his own surveillance measures in a Tactical Turtle neck, channeling his best imitation Sean Connery voice (have you noticed that as well, people?)

No, no, the op wasn't wrong - those big cross ducks, er grice geese, they make good guard dogs, no?

With special mention to Crowley acting as a surveillance duck just prior to this, and Mr Brown doing his own "spying out" of Aziraphale.

To finish this meta, there is one other figure who notably offered the ducks bread, in the book. This passage, which is surely relevant to S3, but didn't appear in S1, shows another character still devoted to God in a way. Lets give Death the final word:

Crowley: "Maybe it's it's all part of a great ineffable plan. All of it. You, me, him, everything. Some great big test to see if what you've built all works properly, eh? You start thinking: it can't be a great cosmic game of chess, it has to be just very complicated Solitaire. And don't bother to answer. if we could understand, we wouldn't be us. Because it's all - all - "

INEFFABLE, said the figure feeding the ducks.

"Yeah. Right. Thanks."

[justdiptych]

The original Fallout had one group of raiders. That was the name the game map gave to them - 'Raiders' - but they were in fact known as the Khans. They were a relatively minor faction, being tied to quests in the first town the player is likely to visit, but we learn a lot about them in their brief appearance.

Many of the Khans are given names and dialogue, and will tell the player about their history - including how they came from the same place as the people of Shady Sands, Vault 15, and feel entitled to share in the town's wealth. Some see their raiding life as a way to claim control of the post-war world - ruling through strength and fear, believing that old ideas of morality died with the rest of the world. Others treat it as just another job - they support their group by trading, maintaining equipment, preparing food, and other everyday tasks.

In short, the Khans are a fully-realised community, as much a part of the story as any other. We learn that their brutal leader, Garl Death-Hand, took command after killing his abusive father. The player can kill him, or negotiate with him, or impress him with acts of cruelty, or even challenge his nihilistic views by convincing him that they're his father, back from the dead. Killing Garl and destroying his compound is treated as the best choice for the region as a whole, and is confirmed to have happened in the next game in the series, but it's certainly not the only option.

Fallout 2 has two groups of raiders. One - again marked 'Raiders' on the map - turn out not to be raiders at all, in that they're not attacking towns to steal their wealth. Instead, they're a mercenary company, hired by a disreputable businessman from one town (New Reno) on behalf of another town (Shady Sands again, now the capital of the New California Republic) to harass a third town (Vault City) to convince them that they need outside help in maintaining their defences. It's part of the game's major subplot about the three societies competing for control of northern California and western Nevada.

The other group are the New Khans, founded by Garl's son Darion after the original Khans' defeat. These Khans aren't nearly so fearsome as their predecessors - they mostly operate in secret, hiding behind a group of squatters who have moved into the ruins of Vault 15 and pretending to help them restore it for use. Darion is wracked with resentment over what happened to his father's crew and guilt for having survived, and his gang ultimately present little real threat to the outside world.

What I'm getting at here is that, in the world of Fallout as it existed in those early games, 'raiders' were not a major factor. There was one group who conducted raids as part of their regular economic activity, but only against particular communities - Shady Sands saw them as raiders, but to the Hub, they were just traders. Raiders only existed in a particular context - they had particular interests, beliefs and opportunities that would not always be possible or applicable.

Most of the games' conflict came not from the existence of raiders but from bilateral political and economic competition between groups with overlapping but not identical interests, which was reflected in their respective ideologies. We see this in Killian and Gizmo fighting to control the future of Junktown, and in the Master's attempt to reshape the world with the Unity while the different groups of New California try to retain their independence.

We particularly see it in Fallout 2, with its three-way battle for economic domination between the constitutional democracy of the New California Republic, the mafia-ruled narco-state of New Reno, and the elitist technocratic slave state of Vault City. Which of these groups continue to rule and expand, and which crumble, is what ultimately shapes the region's future - with control of Redding and its gold supply as the linchpin.

While the Enclave are the story's primary antagonists, they're chiefly characterised by their refusal to engage with this new socio-economic order - they believe that all outside authorities are illegitimate, and all outsiders non-human, and their only plan is to release a bioweapon into the atmosphere and kill literally everyone on Earth but themselves. The Enclave's defeat is necessary for New California's survival, but, otherwise, they change very little about how people live their lives. They're like Darion's New Khans on a larger scale - relics of a fallen order, robbed of their purpose, hiding in an old bunker and driven by nothing but resentment of having been left behind.

I might, in future, talk about the contrasting depiction of raiders in Fallouts 3, 4 and 76, and about New Vegas's use of raider and bandit groups like the Khans, the Legion, the Fiends and the White Legs. For now, I think I've made my point - that raiders are not a fact of life but a product of a particular place and time, and much less relevant to the universe of Fallout than other forms of competition and violence.

[hatoheart]

hey so I’ve said before I prefer to keep my blog a drama free place but

Oh well. It’s my blog and I can break my own rules as I see fit lol.

My background with Lily Orchard: I had been a fan since about summer 2019 (20 years old, I was born December 12, 1998) and had heard her talk about the various abuse she claims to have gone through throughout her life. With no reason to believe otherwise, I just accepted this. I bought into everything she said when allegations came out against her because I had already anchored my beliefs to things she’d said. It’s hard to dismantle beliefs that are so ingrained in you.

In June 2024 I made a tumblr post asking for actual evidence, and to be fair, I had plenty of people come to me in good faith. Unfortunately, I was unwilling to believe a lot of what I was sent, parroting the same excuses for them I’d heard Lily use. I like to think of myself as someone who’s objective and looks at things from every side, and yeah, I’ll fully admit I was not doing that at all here. I got dunked on a bit, rightfully so.

I was a member of Lily’s Patreon server from June-September 2024 (I only just joined Patreon itself in June 2024). I started as a $1 Patron before bumping up to a $5 Patron for access to the Patron chat. I wouldn’t say I was especially close to Lily, I certainly wasn’t part of her “inner circle”, and got reprimanded by her a few times for various minor things, but ultimately she trusted me enough to let me into the private “server regulars” chat she implemented a week or so before I left.

The first major crack came when she used me venting in her stream chat about my beef with KP as an excuse to drop her and Sai’s full names. I did not at all endorse that and was actually quite pissed at her for doing that. I value my privacy a lot, and I try to extend that courtesy to everyone else I come across online. I’ve got plenty of good friends online and I couldn’t tell you the real-life names of about 90% of them.

Ultimately, the incest game folder was the major incident that got me thinking. She did her best to debunk it, but it was just… such a flimsy excuse? It seemed like she was desperate to cover it up. I don’t know, I’d bought into plenty of things she’d said in the past, but this seemed… unbelievable. So after spending a few days conflicted, I looked back into the evidence I’d been given months prior. And it was… a lot. I lashed out at some people trying to help me during this time, and blocked someone who’d been very cordial to me in DMs. I was stuck. I didn’t know what to believe. I suppose you could say this was my breaking point.

Ultimately the evidence did prove overwhelming, so on September 13th, 2024, I quietly left Lily’s community. No big statement, no fuss, just quietly retracted my Patreon sub, unfollowed on tumblr, and unsubscribed on YouTube. I’ve been quiet for the past month, give or take.

And man, has hindsight been 20/20.

She frames everything as “my boundaries tho” so that she can excuse being rude to her fans. She consistently denies Tara Callie/Stockholm and other wrongdoings without any proof to back up her claims.

I’ve watched KP and Courtney’s videos. I’ve looked at Britt’s evidence. I’ve privately made amends with all three of them.

I had already planned on watching Joon the King’s video when it released. I was a fan of his prior and figured if he was covering Lily… then there must be something I was ignoring.

Part of the reason it can be so difficult to look into Lily’s past is because the resources aren’t neatly gathered in one place. Joon’s video does just that. An easily digestible resource for people to get the gist of who she is.

And I’m sorry to anyone I may have hurt on her behalf. I am not claiming to be innocent here, I knowingly dug my heels in while claiming to want evidence, and then refused to look at it. I’m sorry for the rancid shit I’ve said and done to people in defense of Lily.

But I’ve opened my eyes. I’ve stopped hiding from the truth.

I’m not going to discuss this further, as I’ve said I prefer to keep my blog a fairly lighthearted place for me to hyperfixate and shitpost. I’m not interested in dunking on Lily or harassing her (please don’t harass her), but just being transparent and letting everyone know where I stand as of right now. This needed to be said eventually.

[strwberri-milk]

hello!!! I’ve been loving your work for a liiiitle while now. I’m hoping you can do all the LADS guys of if mc/you being of latin descent (Mexican/ Honduran, Salvadoran, etc) who loves going to gathering with friends and families (like barbecues, quinceñeras, those type) and how they would react to being in such a place, meeting your large family, and reacting to you dancing/ trying to get them to dance with you (cumbia is my fav at any party lol) would). Would love to see what you come up with, much looove 🩷🩷🩷

Xavier seems uncomfortable at first with the amount of people but it's just because he's trying to figure out how everyone knows each other and how he can fit into conversations. He doesn't want to impose himself on anybody despite how welcoming they all seem.

You wouldn't have to work hard to get him onto the dance floor but he isn't exactly the most rhythmic so he's going to try his best but that doesn't exactly look amazing but everyone can appreciate that he's very clearly trying very hard.

He'll get used to it over time but he does get fatigued very easily from the amount of social interaction big family events of yours take. You just have to cuddle him up and give him a second to breathe when the two of you get home. He likes seeing everyone though and how happy you are around them so he'll never say no if you invite him to an outing.

Zayne is very good at small talk and keeping people chatting so being in a crowd like this isn't too awful, even if he's exhausted from going to work then straight to a party. He doesn't mind keeping you company and he's already met your parents. Getting along with the rest of your family doesn't seem like it'd be too difficult a task for him.

He doesn't show his fatigue until he gets home. He didn't grow up with a large family so it'll take him a while to get used to being around so many people who seem invested in him as a person, in addition to his work as a doctor. Any advice he gives as a doctor is one that he strongly urges people to double check because there are certainly some people who are hoping to ask him to look at this or that. He does give his honest opinions and if there's anything he can see himself working with he'll try to schedule them in, telling you it's no problem and he doesn't mind helping the people you love.

He can't make it to every event but the events he misses he insists you go buy something to gift your family as an apology. He would hate for any of them to think that he's missing the event on purpose and will offer his apologies in person the next time he sees them all.

Rafayel fits right in. I've mentioned before that I think he grew up in a communal parenting/child rearing environment so being surrounded by tons of family is perfectly normal for him. He's going to go into this event with a more positive outlook than normal because he wants to get along with your family.

You were a little worried that he'd come off as rude or uptight because of how he tends to be at his own shows if he doesn't want to be there but thankfully he treats them as though he's known them for a while. You can tell his social battery is draining though but he has fun getting to know people and playing with the younger members of your family.

He definitely was exhausted when he got home but he also looked a little nostalgic. There's something in the look in his eyes that makes you a little sad. He'll appear at other events in the future but he doesn't always stay the entire time just depending on his schedule. If he misses it for whatever reason he'll tell you to apologise on his behalf and usually tries to at least pick you up so he can make an appearance and say hello.

[toastandjamie]

Thinking about Mat’s first meeting with Olver. Just this twenty year old who’s so frustrated with responsibility that despite hating fighting goes into this situation looking for an excuse to hit someone. Then he sees that a kids involved, and he tries to diffuse the situation, he’s tired and just wants to solve this quickly so he can go back to the inn and get some sleep- then this full grown man threatens to kill a child, for the crime of roughing his horse. And Mat, Mat KNOWS what it’s like to be that kid, too curious for his own good and getting into trouble, but never NEVER has anyone threatened to hurt him over it. And Mat without any thought for potential repercussions breaks a dudes wrist and hits the other right between the legs. And then he threatens to have the lot of them run out of town by the Band because they had the audacity to say that Olver was “just a peasant child” as of that changed the situation for Mat, a horse traders son in fancy clothes. Because to Mat that’s all he is, a peasant in nice clothes. Then he’s trying to figure out what to do with Olver, since his parents are no where to he found, and Olver tells him not to talk about him like he isn’t there. And Mat ACKNOWLEDGES that, he apologizes and kneels down so they can be eye level. He doesn’t talk down to Olver, because he knows what it’s like to have other people make decisions for him. He is so keenly aware of his Olver feels, the frustration and rebelliousness that comes from being a child because he isn’t that far removed from it. Just three years ago he was still just a kid, older and a bit more mature than Olver perhaps, but still just a kid and one who hadn’t seen the horrors that ten year old Olver had seen. He acknowledges Olver’s feelings and talks to him like he’s anyone else, and redirects Olver’s stubbornness so skillfully. He’s just so good with kids in a way that not even just having two younger sisters can account for. He Gets It, the parts of him that others consider immature are what make him so good at communicating with Olver.

Then think about this from Olver’s perspective. He’s been alone for who knows how long, forced to flee his home, to bury his mother, and now all alone in some strange place. He was likely sleeping in the stables, and that was how he ended up trying to make friends with the Hunter of the Horns horse. Then this Hunter drags him out to the middle of the street, threatening to Jill him. Olver was brave about it but it must’ve been terrifying. Especially upon realizing that none of the other refugees would help. Then suddenly a man in nobles clothes, a strange hat and the coolest looking spear he’s probably ever seen intercedes on his behalf. A man Olver has never seen before, a foreigner no less, but here he is coming to rescue Olver like some gleemans hero. Then Olver sees Mat fight, while to Mat this was hardly even a struggle, a few cracks with the blunt of his spear and the ‘fight’ is over, but to Olver, Mat probably looked like a warder with how easily he handled two armed men presumably trained in using those swords they carry. We as an audience see Mat mainly through the eyes of people who don’t take him seriously, Mat himself included, so it’s easy to overlook just how badass Mat must seem to anyone else looking from the outside, especially a young angry boy who wants to fight the aiel who killed his father. We don’t know how Olver found out, or when, but imagine being Olver and hearing the most certainly exaggerated story of Mat “dueling” Couladin. Is it any wonder that Olver hero worships Mat? That inspite of what Olver perceived as Mat being hypocritical and foolish(or as Mat sees it trying to properly care for a child and be a good influence) he still considers Mat to be someone to emulate. Whether Olver sees Mat as more a mentor, brother or father figure he very clearly idolizes him. He wants to be like Mat, he wants Mat’s attention and praise because despite Mat being “no bloody hero” to this little boy he IS a hero, one worthy of any gleemans story

[a-polite-melody]

Just blocked another two people who showed up in the transandrophobia tag because they’ve decided they can’t support discussions around transandrophobia in light of these recent sexually harassing anons that trans women have been receiving that are supposedly on behalf of trans men.

And I just…

Can you imagine if there had been a similar response months ago when there were anons about correctively raping and impregnating trans men that were supposedly on behalf of trans women? If there had been people posting that we can’t take discussions of transmisogyny seriously anymore?

Honestly though? I think the people who’ve been making these posts weren’t really taking discussions on transandrophobia seriously in the first place, and were just waiting for a “good reason” to voice their antagonism.

And to be perfectly fair, there probably were some transmisogynist trans men/mascs who, months ago, when the copypasta targeting us was going around, similarly used the fact that those asks existed to further their bias against trans women.

But I can say that I only ever saw condemnations of that possibility months ago, and never any actual posts going around claiming we should trust trans women less or dismiss the concept of transmisogyny.

And I certainly never saw people saying that it would be understandable for the trans men who had been receiving these asks to trust trans women less because of it—because the ask, as heinous as it was, was a troll, it was sent to portray trans women as dangerous and untrustworthy to divide the trans community—unlike what I’ve seen in the wake of this current wave of asks.

[someprettyname]

✨GF FC INDIGO AWARDS 2024 PT 7✨

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | winner's list | after party

Some points to note before you move to the event visualizer : 

🟣 My anchoring style is highly energetic and bubbly so you can imagine me doing a lot of hand gestures, changing pitch and tones of my voice, moving around on the stage a lot, etc. Hehe.  

🟣 The theatre/event venue has been engineered by the best engineers of the world, with the most modern technology. The petals of the lotus can close or open to hide or reveal the night sky. It can also change its colours. For tonight, it's indigo!  

🟣 The "OUTFIT CHECK" were clicked in different places (according to where the member was spotted first) hence the different background. 

🟣 I didn't want to write too dialogues on yall's behalf but I can't really bother you with every small detail, so I hope whatever dialogues I've made up are not too out of character! 

🟣Ignore the contradiction of same blue locker entering the scene multiple times, pretend there are a few copies of each member 🥰👍🏻

🟣 Ignore the outfit mismatch in the edits (any edit after the outfit checks please, our editing skills only go so far 🙏🏻 ) 

🟣 I highly suggest that you listen to songs as you keep finding them being embedded in links for added feels and extra hype! 🔥

🟣 The performances where multiple songs have been used is supposed to be a mashup. You can imagine the mashup to be as you please! The songs I've bunched together are for the sole purpose of creating a particular vibe, so as long as to they are fulfilled it's all good! 😌🤝🏻

🟣 The posts are scheduled at a gap of 3-4 hours each, this event is going to be spread throughout 2 or more days. Feel free to go feral in the comments/reblogs/community my mates. 🔥 

🟣 I hope you enjoy this! Tagging all the attendees here : 

@glue-thief  @getosugurusbangs @bueris @soleilonthesun @galaxynajma

@sid3buns @mariyumemi @pinkinsect @refrigeratedboombursts @satosuguhastakenovermylife 

@10renz0 @simp-simp-no-mi @boinin @sharkissm @milkteansugar 

@thebestsetter @merlucide @jujutsustraycats @kurona-theshark @nskiyuriz

@asarajaa @writingonthewalls1832 @hooudie212back @sadao-tsuki @milaisreading 

@8-xnny @licoririce @rinitoshisgirl @luvingshidou  @duckydee-0

@kuro-min @gojoracle @marcsnuffy @filecurropt0 @riririnnnn 

@wroophruh @sanaexus @melodiclune

Previously on GF FC INDIGO AWARDS : 

GLITTER GALS SPREADING THEIR 🌟SHIINEE🌟 ON THE STAGE AND TO EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE!! 

✨OSHA✨ memers were awarded. 

Newest member showcase performance by @/8-xnny! 

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·. 

Nami : MY OH MY CAN YOU ALL 🎶FEELLLL THE RHYTHM🎶 IN MY VEINS?? (⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠♪ 

Nami : THAT WAS SOOOO GOOD MY GOD!! EVERYTHING FEELS ROYAL RIGHT NOW, DOESN'T IT GANG? *turns the mic to audience* 🎤

*hears loud cheering and hooting*

Nami : HELL YEAHHHHH YOU ALL BETTER KEEP THAT HYPE UP BECAUSE WHAT WE GOT OVER WITH WASN'T 50%. 

Nami : In fact, it was barely 30% ha! I am not going to reveal how many award category are left, yet. But there are certainly a LOT OF THEM. And how can there not be? You all are GRAND existences. Plainly simply just so special. 🥹❤️

*Hears a sudden cheering and clapping uproar from the audience.* 

Nami : HAHA! FACTSSSSSS I KNOW RIGHT? 😈😎 

Nami : Alriiiiight ladies and gentlemen HOOOLLD ON TO YOUR SEATS BECAUSE THIS NEXT PERFORMANCE IS DEFINITELY GOING TO LEAVE YOU !!!!SHOOK!!! 🤩😈😎😌

Nami : LET. THEM. FEEEEEL LIKE A ROYALTYYYY WITH YOUR LOUD APPLAUSE : TEAM PLATINUM PRINCESSES!!!

[ links : monster - lyrics | favourite | popular | espresso | typa girl - lyrics - choreography ]

Nami : 😙🎶

Nami : Told y'all didn't I? 

Soleil : EVERYONE LOOKS FIRED UP NAMI 🤩 NOW'S THE TIME TO MOVE TO THE NEXT CATEGORY!! 🔥💪🏻

Nami : ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! But before we move to buisness, COME ON EVERY ONE!! GIVE ME A WOOP! WOOP!  *Turns the mic to audience* 🎤

*The member in audience reply with WOOP!👏🏻 WOOP!👏🏻*

*Some members and blue lockers are so fired up they are standing and throwing their hands in air to cheer and encourage.*

Nami : PERFECT! 😌😎🔥💪🏻

Nami : LET US INTRODUCE YOU TO THE NEXT AWARD CATEGORY : GF FC INDIGO GRAND AWARDS!!! 

(*Fireworks are seen blasting on the stage and the audience bursts into applause, hootings and cheers as camera zooms past trophies.*) 

Soleil : As the name suggests : this is for the members who are the ABSOLUTE BEST at what they do. Unlike honorary awards, only ONE member can win this award for a sub category. Some awards have nominations and some are won by members who are no less than ONE MAN/WOMEN ARMY, hence no nominations. Simply gracing them with this award. Because it would be a sin otherwise.ヽ⁠(⁠･⁠ˇ⁠∀⁠ˇ⁠･⁠ゞ⁠)

Nami : That's right ladies and gentlemen, in a way or the other, these awards are nothing less than the main awards of tonight!! So who will take these absolutely ethereal trophies home tonight? 💁🏻‍♀️✨

Soleil : Well, that's a mystery for us to unfold 😌

(*They both give each other a knowing look and share a high five.*) 

Nami : Since we started the night with a note of 'not forgetting our roots', it's only fair we continue it with that. 

Soleil : PLEASE WELCOME ON STAGE, OUR BELOVED COACH WITH 70 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE AT THE RIPE AGE OF 19 : @/marcsnuffy ON THE STAGE FOR THE AWARDING OF FIRST CATEGORY. 

(*The crowd claps and cheers enthusiastically as marcsnuffy makes an appearance.*) 

Marcsnuffy : (*nods and wait for the cheers to die down before continuing*) Thank you! To be the coach of such an amazing team? Pleasure all mine! 😌

Marcsnuffy : The first GRAND AWARD that we'll be giving out tonight is THE GF FC INDIGO GRAND AWARDS FOR BEST BACKBONE TO THE COMMUNITY. 

marcsnuffy :  And I know Soleil said only one member can win this, but we have a history with bring exceptions don't we? 

(*Distant hooting can be heard from the crowd.*) 

Marcsnuffy : The two members who are sharing this award are....

🥁

🥁

🥁

Marcsnuffy : VAL AND NAJMA!!! 

(*Val gasps while Najma almost tears up, Kaiser pats her on the back encouragingly and proudly [opposed to Isagi's energetic BAM! BAM! BAM! back pats] and they both make their way to the stage grinning greatefully.*) 

Galaxynajma : When I first started Girlfriend FC I never thought in my wildest dreams that would get this big. I will forever be grateful to have met all of you this in this journey and I’m honored to be a nominee/won for these awards. 

Galaxynajma : I wish I had the words to describe how you all make me feel how this team makes me feel

Honestly I couldn’t do it without my cat kitty kisser by my side and ofc Ben and Eli

Nami, Soleil and others : 🥹❤️

Glue-thief : it has been an honour to (accidentally) become one of the founding members of girlfriend fc! i didn't know what would happen when i decided to join najma and eli with a matching profile picture, and i didn't know what would happen when i decided to make one for each character. it has been awe-inspiring watching more and more people with these profile pictures show up in my notifications, and i know i wouldn't have made so many good friends without this experience. thank you girlfriend fc for this award. i love you all.

(*Crowd breaks into huge round of applause.*) 

Soleil : oof! (*Fanning her face*) That almost made me cry. 

Nami : Well, worry not then~ 

Soleil : Hm? 

Nami : I think I got just the right performance to light you up!! 😎

Soleil : oh? 👀

Nami : 😌

Nami : HOLD ON TO YOUR HEARTS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!! BECAUSE THESE FOLKS COMING ON THE STAGE NEXT? THEY MIGHT STEAL IT!! :3 

Nami : PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR TEEEEAAAM RADIANT RAVERS!!!! 

[ link : stereotype - choreography | ASAP - choreography | After school - choreography]

Nami : I'm a good MC guys, ain't I? 😚 I warn y'all before a performance takes your breathe away ~

Soleil : You're saying that as if that helps them with their breaths anyways. 

Nami : Hah? Are you blaming me? The ones to be blamed are our amazing performers. 

Nami : And a certain someone else too, who blows away people's mind with their beauty ~ 

Soleil : You're changing the topic aren't you? But I'll let this one slide because we have coming up on stage @/mariyumemi for GF FC INDIGO GRAND AWARDS FOR BEST MANAGER!!! 

(*A pleasant theme plays over speakers as mariyumemi comes up on stage.*) 

Mariyumemi : I think this one's pretty obvious so let's just put our hands together for....

🥁

🥁

🥁

Mariyumemi : @/licoririce!!!!

(*She gasps and Anri instantly hugs her happily before she gets up, hugging the ones on her table and making her way to recieve the award.*) 

Licoririce : It can’t be put into words how grateful and honored I am to be nominated for these award(s)! First and foremost, I’d like to thank my boyfriend/wifey, Anri Teieri, for existing! I probably would not have found out about the Girlfriend cult icons had I not been looking through your Tumblr tag. Love you miss girl 🫶🫶

Licoririce : I’d like to shout out to Riri (riririnnnn) and Kira (merlucide)...[ *Camera cuts to both of them who are then seen all hyped up and cheering for their miss manager* ].....for being the first interactions I had within GFFC. They’re consistently funny and I love whenever I see their posts on my dash. I can’t believe they nearly killed each other for my kisses!! 

Licoririce : Actually thank you to girlfriend fc as a whole ! I’ve only interacted with a small portion of the community through my askbox but I love how friendly everyone is. Drawing Blue Lock characters in a bright pink football jersey is hilarious and has gotten me to pick up drawing as a hobby again. It’s been great fun to bond over everybody’s fictional girlfriends. You guys are amazing!

Soleil : And we're glad to have such a amazing  manager as you, miss!! 🥹✨

Nami : Now then Soleil, what do we have next? (⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠♪

Soleil : Let's see. Till now, we as gf fc have had battles over beauty [*camera cuts to RIRI and KIRA who wave proudly*]...

Soleil : ...gone to space [*Camera cuts to IZZY and a feral (🤑🤪🤟🏻🔥) shidou can be seen in the background all hyped up*]...

Soleil : ...discovered the our roots and realised the family tree we are part of [*camera cuts to ISH*]....

Soleil : ...won car racing tournaments [*Camera cuts to Hooudie with a pleased looking REO in the background*]...

Soleil : ....lost out hairs and gotten it back, investigated Kidnapping [*camera cuts to a nervous yet relieved looking Kira who's patting her hair just in case*]....

Soleil : ...got kidnapped [*camera cuts to Oki whom Otoya hold protectively at the words*], and so much more. 

Soleil : BUT one thing we shouldn't forget is we all started as FOOTBALL players. And it's only fair to award those of us who are the stars on the field. 

Nami : True. True. (*nods*) 

Nami : And even though that would practically be...all of us really. Some are a god's angel on the field, contributing largely to our wins. 

Soleil : Indeed! So let's start shall we? 

Nami : ABSOLUTELY!! 🤩🤩

Soleil : well, it only makes sense if we start with GF FC INDIGO GRAND AWARD FOR BEST COACH, since we are nothing without our coach!! 

Nami : That's right! Ladies and gentlemen, out your hands together, for we have coming up on stage ASH (@/refrigeratedboombursts) to hand out this award!!! 

[*Camera cuts to marcsnuffy who has a very proud and pleased looking marc snuffy sitting beside her, with his hand on her shoulders : a gesture of proudness.*] 

ASH : Huge round of applause for.....

🥁

🥁

🥁

ASH : @/MARCSNUFFY!!!!

(*She smiles widely, hugging marc snuffy and moving on to the stage with people patting her back on the way.*) 

Marcsnuffy: Thank you all for being here tonight. Strikers, defenders, midfielders, goalies and observers, it's wonderful to see everyone come together in such an elegant and well organized event. 

Marcsnuffy : Back when it first started, this team was conformed by a mere handful of players. Today, there are over 50 girlfriend (and boyfriend!) havers amongst us. I might not even know some of you, but just know I'm grateful for each and every single one of you. 

I want to thank my not girlfriend, Marc Snuffy. He has been my inspiration for a long time and every single merit I am awarded with is dedicated to him. (Please ignore the fact I am the most hands off coach to ever exist. I don't think I've told any of you anything about the sport or anything). Literally the only man ever of all time. He's very dear to me. I also want to thank Najma for making this profile picture for me. I would not be here, amongst every other talented player at GF FC, if it wasn't for you. Lastly, I want to thank every member of this football club/group/cult. You're all appreciated, no matter what you do. Thank you for all your hard work and participation.

Soleil and Nami : THANK YOU COACH!! 🤩🔥

Nami : You might be a hands off coaching style kinda coach, but your words always motivate and encourage us!! 

Soleil : Yes Nami, indeed! I'd personally go as far as saying a huge credit of all our victories goes to her!! ❤️❤️

Nami : I know, I know! We are nothing without her 70 years of experience are we? 🤧

Soleil : No we're not. But a FOOTBALL team ain't nothing without their STRIKER either, are they? 

Nami : Oh well 😈 true that 😈

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·. 

Best striker award coming up.....stay tuned!!

[ organiser : @/someprettyname

script writing credits : @/someprettyname

proofread by : @/melodiclune

editing credits : @/soleilonthesun ]

[putschki1969]

Hi Sarah!

Thank you so much for always providing such great content on your blog. It's incredibly kind of you to consistently follow the girls' activities and share the information with the English-speaking community. I know it must take a lot of effort, and I truly appreciate it.

I'm really heartbroken by the recent developments, especially the rumours and backlash against the girls. I don't believe for a second that they "betrayed" Kajiura on purpose. I just hope people can be more rational and avoid jumping to conclusions, especially when so many details are still unclear. Anyone who has been following them knows they aren't the type to be ungrateful to Kajiura. Your unwavering support for the girls really means a lot and has made me feel much better during all of this.

I was tidying up my mailbox and came across an old recording of the girls' cover of 茉莉花 (the Chinese folk song "Jasmine Flower") from their 2016 Far on the Water Live Tour in Shanghai. I'm not sure if anyone has shared it with you before, but I’d be happy if this is new to you and hope it brings a little joy to your day. It's certainly not the best quality since I recorded it secretly during the concert, and halfway through, Keiko gestured for the audience to sing along, so there's a lot of background noise. Still, I wanted to share it as a small token of thanks for all the hard work you put into supporting the girls.

Hope you like it and have a wonderful day!

Hello! 😊

Awww, thank you! ❤️ I appreciate your kind words🫂 My love for the girls is still very strong so I'm more than happy to share this love with my fellow fans. I know it can be incredibly hard to follow all the information, updates and releases if you are not willing or able to invest a lot of time and money into the whole thing.

I hate seeing all the backlash against the girls. Yes, Yuki Kajiura has every right to feel slighted and her loyal fans can be disappointed or angry on her behalf. It's understandable. But remain reasonable and stick to facts. Don't treat the girls as if they are not even human, as if they were just instruments used by Yuki Kajiura, without their own feelings or thoughts. You really think this decision for the reunion live was made lightly without putting a lot of thought and consideration into it? You really think the girls didn't weigh all their available options in advance and decided this was the best possible course of action for everyone involved even if that route would ultimately lead to them being in a position where they simply weren't allowed to speak of the matter? Sometimes life puts obstacles in our way and we have no choice but to grit our teeth and move past them to get where we want to be. Along the line, sacrifices have to made and not everything will be sunshine and rainbows. The entertainment industry sucks and there are a lot of people in high positions who don't always have everyone's best interest in mind. I am sure Yuki Kajiura, Wakana, Keiko and Hikaru are very much aware of that fact and will find a way to clear up any existing misunderstandings in a civil manner.

Everyone, please realise that name-calling the girls and accusing them of every horrible thing under the sun is unacceptable, it's just beyond disrespectful and it's no way to treat someone you claim to be a fan of. Even if your loyalty lies more with Yuki Kajiura, I assume you are still a fan of Kalafina so please treat the members with the respect they deserve and don't readily dismiss them just because of an incident we don't know any details about.

I 100% understand why Wakana, Keiko and Hikaru are currently trying to lay low in the aftermath of the announcement. Still, it's sad that they are forced into a corner like that, that they feel the need to "hide" from their fans during a time that was surely intended to be celebratory for all of us. It's been unusually quiet on all of their social media channels. Not even a random Instagram story by Keiko or a new YouTube video from Hikaru...*sighs* They obviously don't want to stir up any more trouble and are waiting for things to blow over but I personally feel that it would actually help some fans to see reason if they heard the girls speak up about the reunion in a more casual and frank manner. We'll obviously never find out anything about the internal machinations of the whole thing but it would be nice to know how the girls feel about this reunion on an emotional level. Unfortunately, the official announcement statements felt a bit too stilted and coordinated so I think they came across as not entirely genuine to many fans. Oh well, that's not how situations are usually handled in the Japanese entertainment industry so we'll just have to wait and see...

..••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••..

Waaaaahhh!!!😲 OMG!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!💖💖💖 No one ever shared a full recording of this 茉莉花 performance with me. All I ever had was that tiny snippet from a news report.

This is SO PRECIOUS!!✨ I ADORE every second of it! They are clearly putting so much love into every syllable of the song. I could listen to it again and again (even if the audio quality isn't too great😅). Just melting during Keiko's tender melodic embellishment. So beautiful🥹 Again, thank you for sending this to me, I really appreciate it🙌

[autumnmobile12]

My Hero Academia: Healthcare?

I don't know if any fanfic writers will find this useful or not, but I think the information is interesting and worth speculation in the My Hero setting. This also applies to any fanfic writers in the anime fandoms who want to have more immersive and in-depth writing. Obviously, writing fics that are 'accurate' is not a requirement since the point is to have fun, but here's some knowledge to use (or not use) if anyone is interested.

Obviously, Deku's been in the hospital a lot. A lot of the characters are injured and in the hospital a lot. But for all the hospital visits, nobody in the series is going to be bankrupted by astronomical healthcare costs. (Yes, that's a jab at America's system.) And it's not because the Pros, especially the popular ones, have money.

Here's why:

Quick rundown of how healthcare in Japan works: Everybody receives healthcare, everybody has health insurance. In Japan, your employer is legally required to provide you with health insurance. If you are unemployed, you will be on a community healthcare plan. There is also a plan for citizens over the age of 75. This also applies to foreigners who have established permanent residence of three months or longer.

Article 25 of Japan's Constitution is paraphrased as follows:

“all people shall have the right to maintain a certain standard of healthy and cultured life” and that “the state shall try to promote and improve the conditions of social welfare, social security, and public health” for this purpose.

I'm not going to reiterate the system in its entirety, but if you would like to learn more, this site here (the Article 25 quote I used is also found on that page) has a brief and comprehensive explanation of how healthcare is handled. However, one thing I am going to mention that is relevant for Deku and other Pros is the threshold out-of-pocket expense.

In Japan, citizens enrolled in healthcare do not spend more than ¥90,000 per month out of pocket, protecting them from financial disaster.

(To Americans, this may sound like a sweet deal, but hold your horses because Japan also funds this system through heavy taxation. Medical procedures are expensive and people will be paying for them one way or another.)

The question that needs asking now is how does this system apply to the hero society? Well, first off, since My Hero does take place in a slightly futuristic setting, we could take into consideration the system has been revised.

Assuming not much as changed, are heroes that operate their own agency technically considered business owners and are required to insure their employees and sidekicks?

Or...

Because they are all government employees, is the Safety Commission responsible for insuring all heroes and sidekicks no matter what they rank in their popularity?

Personally, I think it would be the latter since, in the coldest sense of the word, the heroes are essential to the Commission in upholding their system. So that makes them an asset. The Commission would want to protect its assets because as shady as they are, their own system could work against them. They certainly don't want heroes going on strike for lack of benefits or complaining the government doesn't take care of their people. So I assume it's the Commission who is covering insane healthcare costs on behalf of heroes.

(And since the system is probably funded by taxpayers' money, that also feeds into the prevalent societal discontent that's ongoing throughout the series.)

Now what about Deku and his classmates since they have not graduated and are not officially licensed yet? Honestly, I think it's probably UA itself that insures the students. That probably has to do with accreditation and so on, which is another matter entirely, but again, the backing is likely coming out of the Commission (and taxpayers') pockets.

And there you have it. Happy writing, happy research.

[thelindenpapers]

I am an atheist. I am angry and bitter.

But I am not angry and bitter "because I'm an atheist".

I am angry and bitter, because I WAS a christian, and because what was done to me during that time by my abusers and my community has had awful and far-reaching consequences that I am unable to undo.

I'm much happier in other ways.

I no longer have to hate myself, and hate humanity in general, on behalf of an immoral god who displays all the markers of an abuser; for whom I'm compelled to try to do mental gymnastics in order to explain or defend them in the face of perfectly reasonable critiques.

I don't have to walk around with the CONSTANT anxiousness that that capricious and "unknowable" god inspired.

I no longer have to fear hell.

I can accept myself as a full person now; instead of demonizing my libido levels, my femininity, my curiosity, or even my creativity: assuming that being a woman should be a curse, and that a woman with a high libido is somehow a disgrace, and that people who think (and who question!) outside of the box are somehow dangerous or defective when they are neither lying, nor causing any harm.

I don't have to be afraid to Love myself -- whether literally or figuratively.

I certainly don't have to LOATHE myself on behalf of my "betters".

I defend myself far better, now that I don't believe that I'm supposed to be some insensate piece of property that fathers and husbands get to trade between themselves, expressly for them to use, control, and torture.

I am even able to scrape together moments of joy and purpose, as well as hope for a better future for humanity -- even if a better future has been denied me, personally, as an individual, via the disabling neglect and suppression of opportunities of my "husband"; and, before him, the purposeful isolation and suppression of opportunities by my father.

Being miserable is a given, considering what I have gone through. Anger is a perfectly reasonable response to their lies, cruelty, mistreatment, and dismantling behaviors.

But atheism has only bought to me a light and a clarity that exists DESPITE the miseries I've been saddled with, and it provides tools that aid my struggle to overcome in whatever ways that I still can.

Atheism is fine. Atheism is a joy.

It is RELIGION that has caused my sorrow.

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #53 – Binti by Nnedi Okarafor

This is one of those works that has been vaguely on my radar for years and years now – I have entirely lost track of the number of places I’ve seen it recommended as some of the best or most original science fiction of the 2010s. So when my hold finally came in on it, I went in more or less blind – which was, frankly, a fatal mistake. I bounced harder off of this than I have very nearly anything I can remember – if it was any longer I probably wouldn’t have bothered finishing the story. I got the whole trilogy as a compendium, and I’m certainly not going to force myself through the rest of it. Which is a shame, because there are plenty of original ideas in there, but (to me, at least) it’s an absolutely brutal failure of form and execution.

The story follows the eponymous Binti, a prodigy and savant in mathematics and the quasi-magical ‘harmonizing’ – creation and manipulation of electric currents. At age 16, she received accepted into the planet-spanning Oomza University and, despite the clear disapproval of her family and her people’s traditional isolationism, she runs away from home and aboard an interstellar transport to take her away. But when the ship is attacked by the Medusae – an alien species with a grudge against the university – a personal keepsake that turns out to be a powerful ancient relic allow her to survive when every other passenger is slaughtered where they stand – and eventually even communicate with the aliens who have seized the ship. She learns that they attacked as part of a plan to steal back their leader’s stinger, and convinces them to let her be their ambassador and attempt to get it through negotiation with the university administration instead. After she proves her willingness to argue on their behalf, they agree – and once they arrive at the university, the administration does as well. Both she and the young Medusae she forged something of a friendship with are welcomed as students, and she has to reckon with the dramatic changes being tested and healed by the medusae caused in her. Fin.

That is much more of a plot summary than I usually write for these things, but I guess my first big issue with the story is just that that’s basically everything that happens in the book? This feels like it could be quite easily cut down to a tight, compelling short story – or else expanded into a full novel, with enough space to give things time to breathe and allow for foreshadowing with more subtlety than a sledgehammer to the face. As is, the story feels both kind of meandering and like the plot beats are a first draft that never had the space to go back and add any real interest or surprise to them.

Which would honestly have been far more forgivable if not for the prose. This is shelved as young adult but in terms of sentence complexity and the way things are phrased it honestly feels closer to middle grade? Or, at least, every sentence was very simple and very explicit and direct, in a way that I quickly found clunky and then intensely grating to read. A friend described it as reading like it was translated from a different language, which doesn’t seem to be the case but I honestly wouldn’t be at all surprised.

Everything is also just thematically very convenient, I guess? Not even that the random relic Binti found in the sand as a child and keeps as a good luck charm turns out to be a hyper-advanced technological plot device, but that for unclear reasons the otjize dye that she (and the very real Namibian Himba ethnic group she’s a member of) use to plait and colour hair is to the Medusae a miraculous panacea which heals scars none of their own technology (capable of creating interspecies hybrids and inducing mutations with a single injection) could touch. Which is a level of thematic bluntness that’s just much more fitting for a children’s story than what I went into this expecting or hoping for.

I could go on, but there’s not really any point – to be positive, the worldbuilding hinted at is intriguing and evocative like absolutely everyone says it is. The whole reading experience was just a terrible failure of marketing, I think – I can’t recall the last time I read a book I ostensibly should have liked that is quite so forcefully Not For Me. Which is odd, because I actually quite enjoyed the other novella of Okorafor I read. But then, Remote Control was written six years later and for an adult audience.

[projectionistwrites]

EQUIFINALITY | SUMMER

PART THREE, sequel to GESTALT

Joel Miller x afab!reader (2.4k+)

RATING: EXPLICIT (18+, mdni) WARNINGS: angst, grief, discussions about murder & death, age gap (not mentioned), allusions to smut DISCLAIMER: although this is a continuation of my series titled GESTALT, it could potentially be read as a standalone. however, i strongly suggest reading the first series to provide context for the reunion and background on the relationships between the characters. this part is genuinely upsetting, i’m sorry in advance. NOTES: this part takes place after the finale episode, when ellie and joel return to jackson. also, apparently i don't believe in happy endings! (or do i? stayed tuned for the final installment...)

← previous part | next part →

The edges of Joel’s vision were somewhat fuzzy, his head pleasantly buzzing with slight inebriation as he stood against the bar in the Tipsy Bison, trying his best to keep his head low and presence unnoticeable.

The party was in full swing, and the wooden tiling of the dining area had been cleared to open up a makeshift dance floor where the inhabitants of Jackson mingled and chatted. Maria jumped on any excuse to plan jovial gatherings for the town in order to boost morale and encourage strong bonds between neighbors in the small community.

In this case, the occasion happened to be Joel, himself—or rather, his and Ellie’s return. Although they had arrived back in town about three weeks prior, the weather had been tumultuous, and the spring demanded strenuous hours of labor on behalf of everyone who was capable. But now that the springtime was melting beneath the sweltering sun of summer, Maria figured it was time to welcome the two newcomers and provide a much-needed break to the overworked members of the community.

The man lifted his third glass to his lips once more, taking a long, slow sip of his liquor as his eyes skimmed the endless sea of somewhat unfamiliar faces—he spotted Ellie across the room, chatting with some kids her age, already coming out of her shell; there were younger children in another corner of the room, corralled by a few women who were idling gossiping with one another; the other adults spread out throughout the building, the air sticky with the stench of sweat and booze. Even within the mass congregation of townsfolk, all dressed in their nicest apocalyptic attire, Joel felt deeply, deeply isolated. The faces of strangers all blurred together, their voices blending into a dull hum in the background of his awareness.

“You’re sulking.”

Tommy's voice cut through the ambience, pulling Joel's attention to him. He turned his head to face his brother, scowling deeply at him as he took another swig of whiskey.

“M’not.”

He grumbled, and Tommy threw his head back with a bark of a laugh, lifting his beer bottle to his lips with the shake of his head.

“Jesus, you can be a real fuckin’ dumbass sometimes, you know that?”

Joel’s nostrils flared with frustration as Tommy smirked at him teasingly, one brow lifted in silent challenge. Joel’s eyes flickered to his left when Maria sidled up next to him, sitting in the stool across from her husband, cradling her swollen belly.

“He’s right, Joel.”

She nodded softly, eyes scanning over him carefully, and he clenched his jaw.

“What is this? Y’all drag me out here just to corner me and berate me?”

Tommy choked back a laugh, but his wife shot him a glare before turning back to the man beside her, who was looking sullen and wounded beneath his guise of anger. She sighed.

“You’ve been standing in the same spot all night, waiting for her to walk in. She’s not here, Joel. She left before you came by.”

Joel eyed Maria warily, his brows furrowing as she attempted to comfort him with the gentle tone of her voice. The man was slightly startled at her admittance—it wasn’t a secret that his sister-in-law wasn't his biggest fan, and it certainly wasn’t a secret that she wasn’t the biggest fan of his reemergence in your life.

He hadn’t seen you in weeks. Not since that day in the examination room, when you’d almost kissed him and he’d pushed you away—again. You hated him. Surely, you must.

Maria must’ve been able to read his mind—she reached out a careful hand, laying it gently on Joel’s forearm in an effort to save him from his self-deprecating spiral. She offered him a small smile.

“You should go find her.”

“You don’t want me to do that.”

Joel quipped flatly, dropping his gaze down to his boots. He heard Maria scoff incredulously, shaking her head slightly in disbelief.

“Actually, Joel, I do.”

Tommy cut her off quickly, jumping in to save the conversation from Joel’s dismissal.

“She’s right, Joel. I mean, shit, you look like a fuckin’ kicked puppy, standin’ over here all by yourself, waitin’ for her to come find you. You should go find her, man. You’re bein’ pathetic.”

Joel whipped around to shoot a glare at his younger brother, but Maria raised her hands up to gesture for him to calm down.

“Look, Joel. I know I haven’t exactly been supportive of rekindling this old twin flame or whatever, but all I really care about is that she’s happy—and lately, well...” She trailed off, and Joel felt a pang of guilt erupt in his chest.

When he elected not to respond, Maria sighed slowly, lowering herself from the stool and gesturing for Tommy to follow behind her.

“I can’t force you to do anything, but just—think about it, okay?”

The man felt the corner of his lip twitch downward in annoyance, but nonetheless he let out a grunt of acknowledgement. After sharing a knowing look with one another, Tommy and Maria finally left Joel to wallow in his own self-pity.

The night was balmy and humid. Joel’s t-shirt clung to his chest from the stickiness in the air, and the streets were eerily quiet as he trudged home alone.

He would’ve asked Ellie to join him, but she was enjoying herself at the bar, surrounded by joyful faces and a general atmosphere of positivity. He wished he could let himself indulge in the simple pleasures of community, but the gaping hole in his chest refused to heal.

Music. He heard it as soon as your house entered his line of sight. As he walked closer, he could hear the familiar guitar riffs of a Johnny Cash song echoing in the distance, just within earshot. Light flickered on your front porch, and as Joel approached his own door, he caught sight of you—reclined on your porch swing, head tilted backwards with your eyes closed, a blissful smile on your features.

He didn’t want to disturb you or your relaxation, but his legs betrayed him—his feet carried him past his own stoop and towards the concrete steps leading up to you. The crunch of gravel beneath his boots caused you to jump, body tensing briefly until your eyes landed on the perpetrator—as soon as you saw him, your eyes softened.

“Cowboy.”

Joel paused on the second step at the sound of your voice, his fingers white-knuckling the railing in an effort to ground himself.

He didn’t speak—you seemed to anticipate his silence, because wordlessly scooted towards the far end of the bench, gesturing with a nod of your head for him to join you. Hesitantly, he obliged.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

You started after awhile—Joel’s brows furrowed at the statement, tongue peeking from beneath his mustache as he wet his lips.

“No, no, I—you’ve been avoiding me.”

He clarified, and you let out a humorless laugh.

“My schedule has been the same every single day for ten years, at this point. I’m at the same places at the same time every day. Hardly seems like a coincidence that our paths never crossed.”

He’d never considered that before. Of course he hadn’t intentionally been avoiding you, but then again...had he been?

“Was lookin’ for you. At—at the Bison, I mean.”

He turned to look at you, and he met your gaze, your eyes darted away.

“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to miss your big night, or anything. I helped set up, I just—wasn’t in the mood for mingling.”

Joel hummed at that, his elbows resting on his knees as he leaned forward. His eyes skimmed over the row of homes in front of him, shrouded with pine trees and lowly lit by a few streetlamps—picturesque.

He cleared his throat. You clearly weren’t throwing him any bones, today. You sat in the silence, shoulders sagging low, eyes misty with an emotion he couldn’t quite place. He wanted to speak, but—what to say?

“Overheard Maria tellin’ Ellie a story.”

His heart fluttered when you looked at him, curiosity successfully piqued.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. Somethin’ about you savin’ her from a bear attack?”

For a moment, you froze, and Joel feared he may have unknowingly struck a nerve, but then you let out a bright, bubbly laugh, your eyes crinkling with amusement.

“She’s still telling that story?”

You could barely speak through your fit of uncontrollable giggling, doubling over as you drew in a long breath.

“What? S’not true?”

Joel teased, a brow quirked as a smile tugged at his lips, and your eyes were sparkling when you gazed up at him.

“Oh, it’s true, it’s just—I saved her from a taxidermized bear in a fucking Bass Pro Shop.”

His expression pulled into one of disbelief.

“I—you what?”

You giggled again, eyes turning glassy with nostalgia.

“Yeah. That’s where I ended up, at least for awhile. The day I left, when everything went to shit, my car ran out of gas right near a strip mall, and I figured Bass Pro Shop would be as good a place as any to hole up until things settled down—things never did settle down, of course—but I was lucky to be stuck where I was.”

“You never made it to a Quarantine Zone?”

Joel questioned, slightly bewildered. The idea of you, out in the big wide world, all by yourself, terrified him. You laughed coldly.

“No one was looking for me, Joel. No one knew I was out on the backroads driving to Cali. I was lucky. Ran into this older couple at the mall, we—we made due, at least, for as long as it lasted.”

Your tone grew bitter.

“They went out to go hunting one day and never came back. So it was just me in that big department store, surrounded by moldy fish tanks and hunting rifles that I didn't know how to use.”

Joel risked a look at your face, and there were tears forming under your lashes. He let himself lean in closer to you, an attempt at providing comfort, a reminder that he was here with you, that you weren't alone. Not anymore.

You didn’t pull away.

“Been meanin’ to ask.”

He started hesitantly, and when you glanced at him, he lifted a hand to his face, gesturing across his eye in a downward stroke. Oh. The scar.

“Not a glamorous story. Saved a family from some Infected, but the eldest son—he got bit. The middle daughter shot him to save her younger brother, while the mom was unconscious. When she came-to, I told her I did it so she wouldn’t have to know it was the sister, and she attacked me. Punched me right across the face, and the diamond on her wedding ring ripped into me.”

“What did ya do?”

You shrugged, sniffing indignantly.

“I sat back and took the hits. What was I supposed to do? I can’t imagine that sort of grief. Losing a kid...”

Joel felt something twist in his gut as you trailed off, and this time, he felt you lean into him, your shoulder brushing his own.

He didn’t pull away.

“You know, I was never mad at you about my dad, Joel.”

He blinked, his chest tightening at the casualness of your tone. He stayed quiet, as he wasn’t even sure any sound would come out if he opened his mouth to speak.

“I don’t care that he’s dead. I don’t care how he died. I tried calling him the day of the outbreak, to tell him I was coming to California—only person I could reach was his fucking secretary. He never cared about me, and I never cared about him.”

The bitterness in your tone was startling, but that’s not what shook Joel. What made him falter was when you turned to look at him.

“I was mad at you because you thought that the right time to tell me about it was when I was leaning in to kiss you.”

Again, you were met with silence. It didn’t come as much of a shock to you, Joel’s lack of response, but it still made your face flush with annoyance.

“You will do anything in your power to avoid being vulnerable with me, Joel. Always have. I just thought, after all this time—maybe things would be different.”

“Why would you think that?”

A knife to the gut is what his words felt like. He knew it as soon as he said it, how your face would fall and you’d flinch away from him.

But you didn’t. Your face remained stoic, unchanged, unwavering.

“Because I’m different now, Joel. I’m not a little girl anymore. The only thing that hasn’t changed it what I want.”

“And what’s that?”

You huffed out an indignant laugh, turning to face the view of the street again. Inside, your record player scratched to a halt, casting the two of you in silence.

“’ve never been shy about what I wanted, Joel. Even after all these years, it’s always been you.”

The words settled on his chest, heavy and suffocating. Surely, you were bluffing.

“The hell is that supposed to mean? You sayin’ that even after all these years, there’s never been anyone else?"

You sighed, rolling your eyes at his brashness.

“Yeah, Joel, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

He felt his mouth run dry at your confession. Twenty years, a whole lifetime, and you’d never even moved on. Was it out of stubbornness, spite, or something else entirely?

“The thing you don’t seem to understand, Joel, is I’m fine on my own. I’ve waited twenty years for a person that I thought was probably dead, or at least a person I never thought I’d see again, and I was fine with that. I’m never gonna settle for less than what I want, Joel, and that goes for you, too.”

Joel’s brows furrowed.

“What’s that s’posed to mean?”

There was a twitch in your brow, a crack in your impenetrable facade. You shook your head wryly.

“It means that I believe you when you say you’re not the same person anymore, Joel.”

You looked over at him once again, but there were tears in your eyes. One slipped down and traced the line of your scar as it fell.

“It means you’re not the one I’ve been waiting for anymore.”

Anger suddenly welled in the pit of Joel’s chest.

“What’dya want me to say? That you’re wrong? That I am the same person?”

You sniffled, shaking your head at his outburst.

“I don’t want you to say anything, cowboy. I just want you to realize that I’m not the same girl that fell to her knees and begged for you to love her. And I never will be again.”

You were practically snarling at him, and it was in that moment that Joel realized he might have lost you for good.

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