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twistedtummies2 · 6 months ago

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ReCount: Top 31 Portrayals of Count Dracula

The day after tomorrow is World Dracula Day. For the occasion, I’m going to do a countdown of my personal five choices for the WORST portrayals of Dracula I’ve personally encountered. However, I’ve always believed in accentuating the positive: there are, in my opinion, more good Dracula portrayals than bad ones. Even if the adaptations and reimaginings themselves aren’t totally up to par, Dracula himself usually is enjoyable to watch, and there are PLENTY of versions to choose from.

With that said, it’s time for a ReCount of one of my largest lists: “Count-Down,” a month-long Event I held in October of 2021, where I ranked my Top 31 Favorite Portrayals of Count Dracula, along with a number of Honorable Mentions. A LOT has changed since I made that list: all across the board of the Top 31, different versions of Dracula have shifted place. Some that were on the list back then are no longer present now, and some that weren’t present then have moved in since. As for those that were there then, and are here now…nearly all of them have shifted positions in the ranks, for one reason or another. Times change and people with them, and revisiting some of these versions has given me new perspective, while renditions I didn’t know about at the time (or, in some cases, didn’t even EXIST at the time) have only added to the challenge of choosing.

With that in mind, it took a while to figure out where various takes on the Count really placed for me, overall, but I THINK the results here are - at least for the time being - the most honest and fair judgments I can give. With that in mind, allow me to present ReCount: My Top 31 Favorite Draculas (plus some Honorable Mentions).

HONORABLE MENTIONS (Left to Right, Top to Bottom)

Adam Sandler & Brian Hull, from “Hotel Transylvania.”

Sandler famously voiced Dracula for the first three films in this animated franchise. Impressionist Brian Hull took over the role in the fourth feature. I know these cartoon comedies are really popular, and I have nothing in particular AGAINST them, but I’ve weirdly never really been THAT into them.

Alan Swift, from Mad Monster Party.

This Halloweentime production by Rankin/Bass features Swift in the role of SEVERAL famous monsters, as a whole band of Gothic icons join forces to try and steal a secret formula from Dr. Frankenstein, so they can - you guessed it - take over the world. Dracula is the leader of the monster horde, fittingly enough.

The Version from “Anno Dracula.”

I absolutely love this novel series, which blends historical fiction with Gothic Horror, and has many bizarre twists and turns. The premise focuses on an alternate universe where Dracula successfully manages to take over England, turning many of the population into vampires. While his role in the series is important, Dracula HIMSELF very rarely appears, so I didn’t think it was fair to give him a place in the ranks: it’s cool when he shows up, but the books are actually more interesting for other reasons beyond him.

Count Chocula.

Ah, yes, because if draining the blood of the innocent wasn’t evil enough, we now have vampires that give you diabetes. As iconic as this cereal mascot parody of the Count is, he’s not ACTUALLY Dracula, so I didn’t feel he counted…plus there’s just not much to say about him.

James Barbour, from Dracula: The Musical (2011 Studio Recording).

There have been several musical adaptations of Dracula. This one was the work of Frank Wildhorn, and is probably the most popular. None of them are all that great, in my opinion, but this one has some shining moments. Several people have played Dracula in this one, but Barbour’s performance on the 2011 Studio Recording is my favorite.

Kamran Nikhad, from V Rising.

This game only JUST came out, and I haven't played it yet (nor am I entirely certain if I ever will). As a result, I don't really feel comfortable placing its version of Dracula in the Top 31 yet. With that said, based on the lore of the game, the videos I've seen featuring the character, and Nikhad's absolutely bone-chillingly breathtaking vocal work, I see no reason why I can't give this version an Honorable Mention. In this game, Dracula is a tyrannical and highly intelligent vampire warlord, who proves a threat not only to humanity, but even to other monsters. He orchestrates things behind-the-scenes to try and regain his throne, with the player's ultimate goal being to destroy him once and for all.

King, from Kamen Rider Kiva.

This was the first Kamen Rider series I ever saw, and it’s probably my favorite (or, at least, second favorite). A Japanese superhero series inspired by classic Universal Monsters? How can I NOT love it? The main villain of the series is the mysterious King; while he’s never outright referred to as Dracula, that’s clearly who he is analogous to in this universe. Much like Count Chocula, I didn’t feel he actually counted for the main list, but he’s worth an Honorable Mention at least. He is played by Shinya Niiro.

Mark Hamill, from Mina and the Count.

Just like Count Chocula and King, this is another case of a vampire who isn’t TECHNICALLY Dracula, but is clearly a Dracula-inspired figure. There are two characters on the main countdown who are in the same vein, but generally speaking, I wanted to save the main countdown for ACTUAL versions of Dracula. In this series, Hamill plays “Count Vlad,” a vampire who ends up befriending a little mortal girl named Mina Harper. Shenanigans ensue.

Michael McCarthy, from…a completely different “Dracula: The Musical.”

Barbour’s Dracula from earlier was in the musical composed by Frank Wildhorn. McCarthy played Dracula for a PROPOSED stage musical, created by the musical trio of Evans, Orton, and Lynn. The musical had a concept album released, as well as a music video for the “big song” of the show, “Within My World,” wherein McCarthy performed in-character as the Count, costume and all. However, the show never got off the ground. Admittedly, I don’t think the musical was that great on the whole, but it’s still a shame.

Orson Welles, from the Mercury Theater Radio Production.

It’s Orson Welles as Dracula. I think that statement on its own explains why he’s so great. Weirdly enough, while I’ve gained more respect and admiration for this radio version on the whole since 2021, Welles’ Dracula has conversely dropped out of the running. He’s good, I just tend to think of many other Draculas more.

The Phantom Blot, from Disney’s Dracula, Starring Mickey Mouse.

I brought up this very weird reimagining multiple times in past lists, so you all know the basic gist of it by now. Disney has done this concept twice - first as a graphic novel, and later as a children’s storybook - and in both interpretations, the Phantom Blot plays the coveted role of the Count. I love the Blot, in general - one of Disney’s most underrated villains, in my opinion - but I think it’s more for his sake that I like his Dracula, than anything else.

Phil LaMarr, from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy.

All I have to say here is…if you know, you know. XD A lot of people are probably sad I didn’t include this Dracula in the rankings, but trust me, he’s a funny one.

CHOICES 31 - 26

31. The Count, from Sesame Street.

One of the two “not technically Draculas” I mentioned in the Honorable Mentions. To be honest, I could rank Count Von Count - my favorite Muppet character from Sesame Street - MUCH higher, if I really wanted to, because I really do love him a lot. However, I felt it was too much of a stretch placing him in the upper tiers, simply because while he’s clearly a parody of Dracula, he isn’t ACTUALLY Dracula, but more his own unique character. However, leaving him off the list completely seemed criminal, and I like him too much to just give him an Honorable Mention…so, compromises being what they are, I decided to place him on the countdown, but at the very bottom of the heap. “That’s one! One difficult problem to deal with! Ah-ah-ah!”

30. Gerard Butler, from Dracula 2000.

I’m still not a fan of this movie, and I doubt I ever will be, but I will say I enjoy both Christopher Plummer as Van Helsing and Butler’s Dracula in the film. The movie makes an intriguing (if rather bizarre) change to Dracula’s backstory, revealing that he is actually Judas Iscariot, and his revulsion towards Holy artifacts is due to his past.

29. Hamilton Camp, from Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf.

One of the few “Funny Draculas” on this countdown, and a personal childhood favorite of mine. In this animated special, Dracula changes Shaggy into a werewolf and forces him to participate in an annual race between all of the famous monsters. If Shaggy wins, he’ll be turned back to normal, but if he loses, he’ll remain a werewolf - and Dracula’s servant - forever. It’s basically a spooky version of Wacky Races with Dracula as Dick Dastardly.

28. Rudolf Martin, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I know next to nothing about Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I’ve only seen two whole episodes of the show, along with a few assorted, scattered clips. One of the two is “Buffy vs. Dracula.” A lot of people apparently dislike this episode, which depicts Dracula as a sort of self-aware “vampire celebrity” who buys too much into his own hype, but I actually think this was a fun interpretation. Martin would later play the real-life Vlad Dracula - one of the inspirations for the fictional vampire - in the TV movie “Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula.” I doubt this was a coincidence of casting.

27. Francis Lederer, from Return of Dracula.

This film came out the same year as Hammer’s “Horror of Dracula,” and it’s not hard to see why one is more well-remembered than the other. While much of this film is honestly rather dry and dull, Lederer really delivers as a decidedly creepy, unsettling take on the Prince of Darkness, and gets a pretty great death scene to boot.

26. The Version from “Return of Evil.”

This teen novel is the first of a series of stories where the famous Universal Monsters get “zapped” into the real world to cause havoc. While the book is overall pretty decent, and actually has some legitimately scary moments, I feel that the portrayal of Dracula HIMSELF is a bit…confused. As a result, I no longer rank this version as highly as I once did.

CHOICES 25 - 21

25. John Carradine, from Various.

Carradine played Dracula in no less than four films, as well as onstage. While his work was always good, the actual movies he appeared in were less than stellar: in “House of Frankenstein” his Dracula is thanklessly killed off before the end of the first act. In “House of Dracula,” he plays a slightly larger role, and is shown as a more sympathetic character - seeking a cure for his bloodlust - but is still destroyed (quite anticlimactically, I should add) around two-thirds of the way through the picture. The comedy film “Nocturna” is just plain bizarre, and the infamously terrible “Billy the Kid vs. Dracula” is widely regarded as one of those classic “so bad it’s good” type of movies. Had he been given better material to work with, Carradine could have ranked much higher.

24. Vlad Garfunkel, from Phantom in the Twilight.

In this anime/manga series, Count Dracula - going by the alias “Vlad Garfunkel” - has reformed and become the leader of a group of monsters, or “Umbra,” who work to protect humanity from more evil creatures - sort of a Gothic Horror/Dark Fantasy version of the X-Men. (And no, in case you’re wondering, I don’t know why the Count would choose a name like “Garfunkel” as his pseudonym.) The franchise is interesting, but unfinished; both the manga and the anime end on cliffhangers and leave a LOT of unanswered questions behind, and this “pretty boy” Dracula is admittedly a little hard to swallow at times. Overall, however, not bad stuff.

23. Javier Botet, from The Last Voyage of the Demeter.

Described as a sort of cross between “Nosferatu” and “Alien,” this horror film focuses on the tragic misadventures of the crew aboard the Demeter - the ship Dracula takes to get from Transylvania to England. Over the course of the movie, Dracula picks off the crew one by one, killing and/or transforming them as he rations them off. While the movie is admittedly flawed, it’s not necessarily bad, and this more monstrous version of Dracula is an intriguingly frightful interpretation.

22. Richard Roxburgh, from Van Helsing.

A ludicrously over-the-top movie with an equally ludicrously over-the-top Dracula: you can’t say the style and the performance don’t match. Roxburgh’s Dracula isn’t well-regarded by many people, but I personally enjoy this version a lot, even if at times he’s unintentionally hilarious in his hamminess.

21. Chris Sarandon, from TMNT (2012).

This Dracula appears as the secondary antagonist of a four-part story arc, wherein the TMNT encounter several of the classic Universal Monsters. If that concept isn’t good enough, the fact Dracula is designed to have the likeness of Bela Lugosi only adds to the enjoyment factor. And if that’s STILL not enough, then the fact his voice actor is Chris Sarandon - Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King, himself! - doing a Lugosi impression should hopefully seal the deal on why he’s so great. If Dracula had been THE main antagonist of this arc, I think he could have ranked even higher.

CHOICES 20 - 16

20. Nicolas Cage, from Renfield.

Nic Cage has long been a fan of Dracula, and the Count one of his dream roles. You can be darn sure his chance to actually play the King of the Vampires was a treat to watch. In some ways, his performance reminds me of Richard Roxburgh’s, except in this case the humor is entirely planned. At the same time, his Dracula is legitimately menacing and scary. Cage apparently studied various other past performers to help sink into the role, and it works well: you can see little dollops of other Draculas in his work, but it’s still 100% his own take on the character. I honestly feel bad for not ranking him any higher.

19. Zhang Wei-Qiang, from Dracula: Pages From a Virgin’s Diary.

Again, in this combination of surrealist/Expressionist silent film and dance movie, all of the male characters are depicted in a negative light. Dracula himself is no exception, but there is some interesting ambiguity there: in the film, the so-called “heroes” all hate Dracula less because he’s a vampire, and more for petty and repugnant reasons. One hates him because he’s richer than they are, one because he’s more sexually attractive, one because he’s a foreigner, etc. While Dracula is still the villain, the heroes aren’t exactly good people either: they’re prejudiced and perverse, which blurs the line on who the real monster of the story is.

18. The Marvel Version.

I’m specifically talking about the actual comics here, because - as a future list will show - most adaptations of Marvel’s Dracula are…well…not that great. The comic version, however, is actually a pretty interesting character, riding a fine line between villain and anti-hero, as he’s been the protagonist of stories almost as often as the antagonist. Tie this into the fact he’s faced the likes of Dr. Strange, Spider-Man, and Blade (who was actually introduced in Dracula’s title series, “The Tomb of Dracula”), and it’s pretty clear why he’s awesome.

17. The Version from “Fate.”

In English this take is voiced by Ray Chase; in Japanese he's played by one Ryotaro Okiayu. In the Fate universe, the ties between the real-life Vlad Dracula and the fictional Count are toyed with in a very unique way. In the anime “Fate/Apocrypha,” it’s Vlad III who is summoned to participate in the Holy Grail War, but has the power to physically transform into the legendary vampire. In the game “Fate/Grand Order,” Vlad can be summoned in two different forms: one depicts him as being Count Dracula from Stoker’s novel, while the other is his true self, Vlad the Impaler. In all three of these cases, the relationship the real Vlad has with his literary counterpart, whose name and myth he helped inspire, is…complicated, to say the least.

16. Al Lewis, from The Munsters.

The highest ranking “Funny Dracula” of the bunch (since I placed The Count from Sesame Street far lower). Lewis’ Dracula - typically referred to simply as “Grandpa” - is more like a combination of a mad scientist and a kooky vaudeville magician than anything from Bram Stoker, but he’s certainly a lot of fun to watch.

CHOICES 15 - 11

15. Christian Camargo, from Penny Dreadful.

After being teased for two seasons, Dracula pops up in the third and final season of “Penny Dreadful” as the main antagonist. In the series, Dracula is depicted as the brother of Lucifer himself, and desires the main character - Vanessa Ives - as his Bride, hoping to use her in a plan to, of course, take over the world. The show was rife with darkly Gothic melodrama, as the title implies, but Camargo’s Dracula subverts this: a subtle, sinister, manipulative villain with a silver tongue, whose understated demeanor belies intense power and menace. A surprising and intriguing interpretation.

14. Frank Langella, from the 1979 Film.

When I did this countdown back in 2021, for the first time, Langella’s Dracula ranked MUCH further down. Having revisited the film since, I sincerely have no idea WHY I maligned the movie, or his Dracula, as much as I did. While not perfect, the movie is much better than I remembered, and his Dracula much more impressive: a suave, slick, sympathetic, but still sinister take on the vampire with all the necessary gravity the role requires. I am pleased to now place him in my Top 15.

13. Jack Palance, from the 1973 Film.

Palance’s Dracula was the first of several kinds: he’s the first Dracula to make a direct connection between the fictional vampire and the real-life Vlad the Impaler. He’s the first to be depicted as overtly romantic, seeking the reincarnation of his long-lost bride. And while he is not necessarily the first to be presented in a sympathetic light, he is the first where that sympathy is highly focused upon, making him into a more tragic figure. While not an obvious casting choice, Palance plays Count Dracula excellently, giving him both the elegance of his noble title and a warrior’s vicious ferocity.

12. Klaus Kinski, from Nosferatu the Vampyre.

As of now, there are three remakes of Nosferatu. One is still upcoming, as I type this, starring Bill Skarsgard as the vampire. Another was finished just a couple of years ago, starring Doug Jones as the Count, but has yet to be publicly released. (Perhaps if/when I see both of those, this whole countdown will change again.) The very first was “Nosferatu the Vampyre,” which featured Klaus Kinski as a more sympathetic, but still grotesque, interpretation of the undead Transylvanian. Kinski’s Dracula isn’t a romantic figure, but instead is depicted a lonely, outcast creature who is driven by urges he cannot control; he doesn’t WANT to be a monster, but he HAS to be, which makes for an interesting interpretation.

11. Willem Dafoe, from Shadow of the Vampire.

This was the other version, along with Count Von Count, who I mentioned technically doesn’t actually count (ha ha) as Dracula. However, under the circumstances, I felt this one was worthy of higher placement. In “Shadow of the Vampire,” Willem Dafoe plays “Schreck” - a real-life vampire who coincidentally shares the same name as the actor Max Schreck, and is thus cast under this pretense in the role of Count Orlok in “Nosferatu.” While the film establishes Dracula/Orlok to be a fictional creation, Dafoe is nevertheless playing that character at the end of the day, given the premise, and he does so brilliantly.

CHOICES 10 - 6

10. Duncan Regehr, from Monster Squad.

In this 1980s cult-classic - a sort of combo of “Ghostbusters” and “The Goonies” - a group of teenaged heroes have to face Dracula and several of the other Universal Monsters, when the villains plan to - of course - take over the world. I'm not really sure WHY I love this particular Dracula so much, I just...kind of do. Regehr’s Count is just the right level of over-the-top in the film. Much like Nic Cage and Richard Roxburgh, he’s hammy, yet still manages to have menace and power, and is quite the snazzy dresser to boot!

9. Louis Jourdan, from the 1977 BBC TV Film.

Aside from his role as Dracula in this 1970s BBC production, Jourdan is probably most famous for playing the main villain of the James Bond movie “Octopussy.” So, if you ever wondered what Dracula would be like as a Bond Villain, you’ll basically get it here. Jourdan is debonair, dashing, and deviously devilish, with a coldness and an unsettling calmness that even some of the best Draculas lack.

8. David Suchet, from the 2006 BBC Radio Production.

As usual, not pictured here in costume, because this is a radio version…but I’ll safely say, in this image, one could almost believe it. ANYWAY, Suchet played both Dracula and Van Helsing within the same year, both times for the BBC. In a TV film adaptation he played the vampire hunter, while in this radio version he takes the role of the Count. This is probably one of the most book-accurate takes on Dracula I’ve ever encountered, audio-based or not. Suchet’s work is often overshadowed by Tom Hiddleston’s appearance as Jonathan Harker in this audio play; he’s definitely worthy of more praise.

7. Peter Stormare, from The Batman vs. Dracula.

Inspired by (though not directly based upon) the “Batman & Dracula” Trilogy of graphic novels, this film (set in the universe of the early 2000s animated series “The Batman”) reveals that, after being destroyed by Van Helsing and his allies, Dracula’s remains were shipped off to America, and wound up buried in the middle of Gotham City. When he’s accidentally resurrected by Penguin, Dracula begins a reign of terror, transforming various characters - including the Joker himself - into “Lost Ones”: ghoulish vampires under his command, as he plans to take over the entire city. Interestingly, Stormare would later appear as a totally different vampire, subservient to Dracula, in Netflix’s “Castlevania” animated series. It was weird to see Dracula chewing himself out there, let me tell you…

6. Gary Oldman, from the 1992 Film.

Oldman is to many people nowadays what performers like Christopher Lee and Bela Lugosi were to many audiences of yesteryear: I don’t think any version of Dracula SINCE Oldman’s has been quite as influential and almost universally enjoyed as his. While I do enjoy his performance, and the movie in general, I can’t say it’s one of the first versions that comes to my mind when I think of Dracula, so I therefore don’t feel I can rank this one in my Top 5. Sorry, Lord Shen.

THE TOP FIVE

5. Max Schreck, from Nosferatu.

Often imitated, but never duplicated. The true “OG” Dracula. There’s really not much to say about “Count Orlok” from this silent classic: it’s one of the most iconic and influential versions of the character ever put to the screen, and almost stands in a league of its own. While the silent film itself has some elements that haven’t aged all that well (the movie IS over a full century old now, no joke), Schreck’s work as this repulsive spook is still more than laudable.

4. Alucard, from Hellsing.

I used to say Alucard was one of my Top 3 takes on Dracula, but upon revisitation, I no longer think that’s fair: I just don’t quote him, reference him, or generally think about him as often as the three I’ve placed above him in the ranks. I will, however, still contend that he is one of the scariest versions of the character out there (which is especially impressive, since he’s the main “hero” of this series), and in my opinion the single most unique Dracula of the whole lot: it’s hard to think of a version that does everything this one does, and yet STILL feels like Dracula at the end of the day. Kudos to his voice actors: Jouji Nakata in Japan, and ESPECIALLY Crispin Freeman in English dubs.

3. The Version from Castlevania.

There are no less than three separate continuities for the Castlevania series, and Dracula is a constant figure in all of them…and in all of them, he’s pretty awesome. The “Classic” era, as I like to call it, has evolved over the years, and Dracula with it: starting off as a straightforward villain but gaining more layers and complexities (perhaps a few TOO many complexities, one could argue) as the series went on. Interestingly, Crispin Freeman - Alucard, our previous pick - somewhat recently got to play this version of Dracula in remastered versions of the games “Rondo of Blood” and “Symphony of the Night,” as well as the game “Dracula X Chronicles.” In the “Lords of Shadow” reboot trilogy, Dracula is reimagined as an anti-heroic protagonist, voiced by Rumpelstiltskin himself, Robert Carlyle. My personal favorite version of him was the Animated Series, voiced by Graham McTavish…who, incidentally, appeared in the aforementioned TMNT “Universal Monsters” story arc, playing the demon Savanti Romero. I’m a huge fan of Castlevania and its take on Dracula, and I reference these games and this take on the Count pretty frequently: it didn’t take long for me to realize this version earned placement in my Top 3.

2. Bela Lugosi, from the 1931 Film and Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein.

Lugosi may seem somewhat “hokey” by today’s standards, but there’s no denying that he is almost inarguably the most iconic version of Dracula: anytime someone does a Dracula impression, or a Dracula parody, or dresses in a Dracula Halloween costume, it’s Lugosi they pay homage to before all others. It’s fair to say that no other Dracula is quite as recognizable, even if you haven’t seen either of his appearances onscreen, and for that reason above all others, he earns high marks for me.

1. Christopher Lee, from Various.

I could go into great detail about everything I love about Christopher Lee’s Dracula, because there’s a LOT I could say, but I’m gonna make this as short and as sweet as I can: in my opinion, Lee is the DEFINITIVE Dracula. Considering the fact he played the Prince of Darkness anywhere between ten and fourteen times, depending on how you count, with one of those occasions being (so far) the ONLY Dracula in film to resemble the character Stoker describes in the novel almost identically…yeah. I think it’s hard to argue AGAINST that fact, personally, whether he’s one’s favorite or not. Given the man’s…COMPLICATED relationship with the role, I doubt he’d necessarily be happy to hear it…but Christopher Lee is, nevertheless, My Favorite Dracula.

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twothpaste · 1 year ago

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For the meme!! Duster :D

First impression: I remember liking Duster a lot when I first played M3. The way the game gets you into his perspective at the start of Chapter 2 is really impactful… Wess shouting at him and degrading him, while he just loyally stands there and takes it without a fuss. And the care with which he's animated - always limping (even in his Pigmask disguise), takin' a deep breath before using Wall Staples, spinnin' his bass around when he performs - was endearing & impressive from day 1. I don't recall having any profound thoughts or headcanons about him, but I was glad to play with such a unique party member!

Impression now: I fuckin' love him. A man of such humble highs and lows. He goes from being a cooped-up undersocialized abuse victim to a rockstar celebrity to a world-saving hero, and does it all in the most gentle unassuming manner imaginable. What I think is most special & sad & remarkable about Duster is how painstakingly selfless he is. Dude who will drop literally everything on the spot to do what's asked of him, to help a neighbor in need, to look after a kid who needs him. Putting everyone else first, to such an admirable extent - and to such a dramatic fault. He was denied any sense of self worth growing up, which creates this fascinating & tragic double-edge. He doesn't know how to be kind to himself, but by god, he'll do right by others even if it kills him.

Favorite moment: When he plays with DCMC one last time at New Pork City. It's loads of fun, and so fucking sweet. His bandmates are overjoyed to see him, Lucas & Kuma are delighted to hear him perform again, everyone's gathered to listen. OJ tells him afterwards they could never replace him - DCMC's not complete without its bassist. I imagine he starts to realize here how genuinely loved he is. That he's not just a vessel for positive action, but a crucial part of the communities he loves! And a beloved & worthy person in his own right!!

Idea for a story: There is something very existentially haunting about how Duster's the only Tazmilian who's had his memories wiped twice. Dude's lived three separate lives - four if the post-amnesiac epic adventure Duster we play with from Chapter 5 onwards counts as another. I gotta wonder how he reconciles his identity, especially after (presumably) recovering his White Ship memories sometime postgame. I like to imagine he's content to settle down as a musician first n' foremost, donning his stage name when he performs. But god knows what kinda horrors he witnessed, growing up in a world on the brink of apocalypse. And how he might convey this to his bandmates, who must have their own wild timetravel backstories to grapple with. And how he settles back into a village where he used to be a total black sheep. And how he carves out a new life for himself as an independent adult, after Wess deprived him of agency for so long. Just seems like there's a quite a few disparate Dusters for future Duster to sort out!

Unpopular opinion: My man is thirty or forty years old. Can scarcely fathom him younger. I put him at 37 post-timeskip, myself.

Favorite relationship: Hard to place which is my favorite, so I'll do a few. His situation with Wess makes me ache so bad. Some folks interpret Wess more charitably, which I can see & respect, but I personally read him as pretty explicitly abusive. The fact Wess does have commendable traits too, though, and that he & Duster do seem to care for each other deep down, complicates things in such a realistic way. Duster's not the sorta person to write off his aging father, despite how badly Wess has hurt him and let him down. Wess does love his son, but might be too stubborn to truly change his ways. Where do they go from there? Who's to say, but it makes my chest hurt. I love to imagine the way Duster treats Lucas & Kuma is in stark contrast to his upbringing. That he's endlessly patient with these kids, even at their weakest and worst. 'Cause he knows exactly how it feels to be berated & chastised for failure. I also think his time with DCMC feeds into that. Like, they taught him to play bass n' perform n' everything - surely it didn't come easy for an amnesiac with no prior social skills or musical talents. He learned patience and care from them. The thought of his new friends treating him gently for the first time, and Duster not remembering any other life, is so fuckin' sweet to me. Agh.

Favorite headcanon: He likes wearing Hawaiian shirts. He's dating OJ - let these gay men be mundane, middle-aged, and schlubby as hell. His postgame hobbies include sailing and, yes, again, smoking mad pot.

#thank youuuu #ask tag #2thtalks

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pale-opal · 3 months ago

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Thursday evening/way too early Friday morning, I uploaded the second of the final five chapters of my MMX rewrite. Which means that it is time for the second of the five fun facts. Today, we will be discussing the magic of ✨rewriting your own work✨(mild spoilers beneath the cut).

So, it should go without saying, but it is very rare that a first draft of a "First Impact" chapter gets posted. Usually, all that is needed is a quick grammar check from @crystalclear365, but other times, entire parts of the plot need to be reworked. Let's take the fight scene that takes place between Zero and X in Chapter 10 as an example. Originally, it took place in Chapter 8, and it looked like this:

Hmm... while I don't think this version of the argument is bad, per se, I do see a few issues. Everything escalates too quickly. X and Zero are at one another's throats in about a minute, despite there being no dialogue from either party that would warrant the other's response. Additionally, it is out of character for Zero to act the way he does here (especially when you consider how he behaves this early into the rewrite), and the fight being from X's perspective makes it difficult to see where Zero is coming from. That makes X more sympathetic than intended, which is a problem - while he does have a right to be confused as to why Zero seems to be so fond of Axl, this argument is meant to showcase the possessive tendencies that X struggles with at this point in the plot. Not only that, but Zero cutting contact with X before the battle with Chill Penguin would have severely restricted how I would have been able to write Zero and X's interactions during the mission.

In order to fix these issues, I moved the argument to Chapter 10, specifically after Zero talks to Sigma after the mission and after Axl has chosen to stay at the Hunter Base for the night. This led to this version of the fight:

Okay - this is much better. To begin with, the fight takes more time to build up (making it much less jarring when the yelling starts), and both Zero and X's motives are much clearer. X properly comes off as both possessive and understandably confused, and Zero's refusal to fully explain his actions also has proper reasoning behind it. Furthermore, moving the argument to a different chapter allowed me to create more reasons for the argument's escalation. Now, X is also upset because Zero misled him - and Zero has two additional reasons for why he's angry: X won't leave him alone, despite Zero not having a problem with doing that for him when necessary (in other words, X is being a hypocrite), and X's behavior reminds him of Bass (and not in a good way), causing him to draw the conclusion that people that are supposed to be close to him keep treating him like an object. There are plenty of other times that I have had to rewrite things in "First Impact," but this case is the easiest to talk about. However, if you want to know about the writing process I followed, please let me know! And my inbox is open, so don't hesitate to ask any other questions as well. (Also, if this is your first time hearing of "First Impact" or "Collision Course" and this post somehow piqued your interest, please read the tags on the fic before reading. While the story may be rated T for Teen, that doesn't mean things don't get intense. Stay safe, everybody.)

#mega man x #x megaman #zero megaman #Collision Course au #Collision Course: First Impact #First Impact #fanfiction #rewrite #ao3 #Opal Writes #snippet #Opal Speaks #may God bless you all

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foliosgirl · 5 months ago

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Hey. I had loose thoughts in my mind about Folio as a drum teacher, so I don't know already where this will end (probably in smut, hehe). I'm writing this from Folio's and my perspective.

Let's start with Folio. Enjoy. If you want to be tagged let me know :)

Songs (as an inspiration):

Amber Mark - Mixer

Bad Omens - Malice

Drake feat. Jay-Z - Talk up

Majid Jordan, Naomi Sharon - Waiting for you

Phil Collins - Easy Lover

Zayn - Sweat

Lenny Kravitz - Again

Bad Omens - Just pretend (Live 2024)

Coldplay - Clocks

Thornhill - Nurture

Linkin' Park - Numb

Twenty One Pilots - At the risk of feeling dumb

TD_Nasty, Clara La San - Where u wanna be

Architects - Black lungs

I'll extend this. Maybe :)

Teach me

(Nick)

It's been a sucky time since Noah, the singer of my band suffered from a burn out and nobody knew when it would go on again. Our project Concrete Jungle OST, a soundtrack to our comics, had been released a few days ago.

My cell phone beeped:

"The fans are crazy about your OST album. Some of them like it a lot, but a lot of them don't like it at all. So it's the same as always."

I didn't even read through any comments like that anymore. The message was from our tour manager Matt.

I was exhausted too. It had just been too much lately. Nicholas, our bass player, was the only one who had somehow managed to get through this time reasonably well. Jolly, the guitarist, was already composing new songs after we had canceled our dates in Europe and the UK because he couldn't stand still and do nothing. It was hard for me too, but as a drummer I couldn't write my own songs if I didn't even have a melody. I needed something to do other than spend hours a day improving my drumming. I decided to give drum lessons for the first time in my life. In the garage at my parents' house a few streets away was my current kit and the old one I'd had since childhood. I couldn't part with the old kit. Even today, I sometimes only practiced on the small old kit so that I could play in a more reduced way. Besides, it didn't bother anyone in the garage.

In my own apartment, the neighbors were too close and would never have accepted it. I went to the music school where I was taking drum lessons myself at the time to ask Scott, the head of the school, if I could put up a notice. It said:

"Offering drum lessons for beginners and intermediates ages 6 and up. Nick: +1 323 xxxx xxxx".

It felt good to be back.

"Is Scott in?" I asked the obviously new receptionist.

"Just a moment. What's your name?"

"Nick" I replied a little nervously and looked at the posters on the walls.

"Hey Nick!" Scott said and greeted me with a handshake. "How's it going?"

"That's why I'm here. I need to do something. It's been very stressful over the last few years, but Noah's burnt out and we don't know when we'll continue. Certainly not in the next six months. He has 2 therapy sessions every week and the rest of the time he hardly leaves his bed. But I can't go on making music on my own. I have a big request for you. Can I put this up here? I can make good use of the time now and give lessons in my parents' garage. You probably still don't have enough teachers, do you?"

"I'm sorry about that. Sure, put the note up. No problem. Tracy, could you give Nick some tape so he can put the note up?"

The receptionist handed me the tape and grinned.

I tore off two small strips and read through my note again. Relieved, I exhaled and gave her the tape back.

"Oh Nick, I have a really talented boy who would probably be happy if he could take a few lessons with you. I'll let him know straight away, all right?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you soon, Scott. Take care, buddy!"

I closed the door, grabbed my skateboard and headed back home.

After all, I'd been out for about 15 minutes today.

I put on my headphones and played my playlist (Linkin' Park - Numb).

At the intersection, my cell phone vibrated. "How are you? I'm sorry. I can't say it enough. (Noah via iMessage).

I rolled my eyes. He had already apologized 100 times. It was for the best instead of us all breaking up at some point. The mood had been very tense over the last few weeks because we were all just exhausted from touring.

"I'm giving drum lessons soon. Scott already has a student for me. I've just put up a notice. Maybe a few more will join. Otherwise, I hope you get a little better every day. And stop apologizing!"

'Where u wanna be' TD_Nasty, Clara La San

I couldn't listen to it anymore. A favorite song of my ex-girlfriend. Our relationship didn't survive all the touring. I had hardly been home in the last two years, always on the road. I missed her, but it was better that way, even though we had been in a relationship for a very long time. Since high school, 10 years. I skipped the song, no, I even removed it from my playlist for good. Fuck it.

'Architects - Black Lungs'

I put my left leg back on the board and used my right one to continue riding home.

Exhausted, I flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. Netflix and chill. Although it was sunny, I had no motivation to do anything else today.

---

(Stella)

I took my little cousin to music school for bass lessons. My aunt worked a lot and didn't have much time for him, but at least she picked him up from his lessons after work. I couldn't do much with him. He was 13, in the middle of puberty and exhausting. But not because he was loud, just the opposite. He couldn't get a sound out. Even with me, he only talked the bare minimum. Well, bass was probably the most suitable instrument for him. With anything else, he would be more the center of attention and I didn't see him there at all. "Have you got a new drum teacher by now? I'd still like to take lessons." I asked Tracy, the receptionist at the music school. "Unfortunately not, but look, someone put that note up last week. He gives lessons in his garage. He was a really nice guy who also studied with us."

'Offering drum lessons for beginners and intermediates ages 6 and up. Nick: +1 323 xxxx xxxx'.

I took a picture of the note with my mobile.

"Okay, Taylor, have fun."

Wordlessly and at a snail's pace, the teenager walked into the rehearsal room.

I rolled my eyes. "God forbid. I'm done with kids." I let Tracy know. "Until the right one comes along."

"The right one won't come along and I'm already too old."

"At 29?" she asked with a grin. "Thank you," I laughed.

I was already 34. Fucking 34. I was always estimated to be younger, which of course made me happy, but I just wasn't having any luck with men.

I didn't even want to fall in love anymore, my experiences were too bad, I preferred just to have sex without commitment.

It also suited my job as a nurse better. The constant shift work was anything but relationship-friendly.

'Hey Nick, do you still have a slot for a beginner? I'd be delighted. -Stella'

I sent the text message.

The next day I received a reply: 'Hi Stella, sure. When do you have time? Can you come tomorrow at 4pm?'

I looked at my duty roster.

'That fits. Can you send me the address?

I didn't hear back until my shift was over at 3pm the next day.

'Sorry, I hope you can still make it. I'm a bit stressed." This time, the message arrived on WhatsApp with the location stamp from Google Maps.

Now I was stressed too. I hurried home to get something to eat, packed up my dad's sticks and set off on my bike. I arrived in front of a beautiful house just in time. I couldn't miss Nick because he was already shmashing drums. I didn't see a doorbell on the garage, so I decided to call him.

"Stella here. I'm outside the garage."

A good-looking, dark-haired man opened the garage from the inside and invited me in.

"Nick. Nice to meet you. You want to start drumming?" I nodded. He was so damn attractive that it made me nervous and left me speechless at first. His hair was freshly cut and styled back. He was muscular and wore black trousers and a dark red T-shirt. I also noticed his countless tattoos. His left arm was completely full and he had one on his neck, that was all I could see.

I didn't want to come across as weird, so I tried to forget how handsome he looked and started talking.

"Yes, I have to. For my father." "For your father?" he asked, puzzled.

"My father passed away recently. I live in his house now and I'm sure he'd be happy to have his drums used." I smiled. "Oh, I'm sorry about that. Can you read music sheets?" "No. Does it matter?"

He shook his head before answering my question in the negative.

"Okay. What do you know about drums so far?" My eyes drifted to the smaller kit. "May I?"

"That's what you're here for."

I sat down and adjusted the chair. I played everything one by one and told him the names of the drums and cymbals.

-"That's right. Can you play anything yet?" I grinned and played the simplest things I could. I was amazed myself that I hadn't forgotten how to do them.

"Good, what do you want to achieve?"

What did I want to achieve? "I want to get better." "We can do better," he smiled and sat down at the other kit

---

(Nick)

In the meantime, I had just accepted my 5th student. Another beginner, or rather my first female student. I decided not to take on any more new students. It was incredibly stressful and the mother of the boy Scott had referred to me was incredibly annoying and always pushed him so hard that I had to control myself not to freak out.

Stella, my new student, didn't seem to be a teenager anymore. At least that's not how her message read. I liked the Italian name. It reminded me directly of my partly Italian-born family.

I listened to my band's song 'Malice'.

'No matter how long it takes. I'm going to practice 'Malice' again and destroy everything on the next tour. Anyone against us including Malice in the set again?

I wrote in the group chat of our band. Somehow I missed the guys. Hanging out together almost every day after such a long time and getting on each other's nerves, but also growing closer together and now not seeing each other for an indefinite period of time was extremely strange. In general, it was strange to be alone so much, to no longer have a relationship, even though we had all the time in the world to have this relationship now, but it was too late.

I still had our photo as a lock screen. I hardly noticed it anymore.

I played 'Malice' for the first time in many years. It sounded like shit.

I was too slow on the double bass pedal and it annoyed me. I had forgotten the time, because when I sat down at the drums, time flew by. I was very ambitious to get better at it. Stella, my new student, called to say she was outside my garage. I opened the garage door and in front of me stood a slim woman with dark hair and a plunging neckline. Her large breasts immediately caught my eye and I couldn't tell if they were real. They distracted me. I hoped she didn't notice my gaze and was covering up the fact that...fuck, she's your student!

She seemed to be a few years older than me. A strange feeling that I should be teaching someone grown up among the children and teenagers, but certainly exciting. She looked at me shyly through her green eyes as I introduced myself and I asked if she wanted to start drumming. Such a stupid question. Why else was she here?

I took the opportunity to look unobtrusively at her ass as she adjusted her chair in front of the kit.

Fuck, this was never going to go well. I liked her, but she was my fucking student.

#nick folio bad omens #nick folio #folio #fish boy #fanfic #fan fiction

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buffyspeak · 2 years ago

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That Lily post you reblogged has me thinking, and it’s honestly kind of insane how categorically bad almost all of the parents on Gossip Girl are, even the ones we’re supposed to like!! If we take all of the various anecdotes from Serena and Eric seriously, then Lily - despite otherwise being an enjoyable character - is nothing short of a negligent parent. And variations of the same can be said for most of the other parents with significant storylines!

Like, as much as the show tries to gloss over it later on, Eleanor’s casual cruelty towards Blair and the seemingly intentional provocation of her bulimia despite KNOWING how severe it was throughout season one was actually genuinely awful. Harold, while more sympathetic given his backstory, still chose to relinquish primary custody of his daughter to move halfway across the world and barely see her, even though she was a 15 year old struggling with a serious mental illness. Alison, despite being oddly beloved in this corner of the fandom, is honestly just as bad - she too fucks off except with the added pretense of it being a temporary separation, and then makes little effort to maintain any contact with her kids outside of holidays, leaving Rufus to effectively single parent. And Rufus, despite being the most involved and least “objectionable” parent on the show, still consistently treats his son significantly better than his daughter, to the degree that said daughter at one point muses that her dad “basically hates her” and seems to believe it.

And that’s without getting into William van der Woodsen, Bart Bass, or the Archibalds, who were actual villains!!! Like it’s no wonder that all of the kids grew into fucked up adults when that was the standard of better parenting on the show.

i originally wrote that i had very little to add but then all of this happened! lmao. but still: you're spot on, anon.

one thing i will say is that wrt alison - she does get quite a bit of leeway in this corner of the fandom, hm? i'm not saying that i hate her or that i think she's as bad, as, say, bart bass (but literally who is), but i think what gets me most about her is that she leaves and upon briefly returning, doesn't let there be any space for the fact that the lives of her children have changed while she's been gone. when jenny tells alison she would have been able to go if she wasn't here, it may come off a little bratty, but it's not hard to sympathize with for me. because she's not wrong! her mom has been gone and now that she's back she's supposed to not have changed at all or stop caring about the things she cares about? (note: i know allison was upset about jenny missing her art show for the debutante ball, but it seems like it speaks to a larger issue of allison not liking who jenny has started to become while she's been gone... even though she's the one that left and jenny's allowed to have interests that deviate from hers.) i think the reason alison gets more grace from some parts of the fandom is that we see way less of her than most of the other parents, so there's room to imagine she's a Perfect Mom (TM) whenever jenny and dan go visit her on the weekends or holidays or when jenny leaves for hudson. but i doubt that's the case. (nor should it be! no one's perfect and i tend to prefer characters who are more complicated than that. but the idea that she's this flawless ideal of a parental figure seems... strange, to me.)

there's something really interesting about the lines being drawn between who the 'good' and 'bad' parents are. because I fully believe that lily and eleanor are on a pretty similar level to the archibalds, yet the narrative turns more in their favor. we still see their bad sides but we get their perspectives more and are Supposed to sympathize with them to some degree. the show never quite shies away from lily's negligence (the way it does from being consistent about eleanor's emotional abuse toward blair tbh), but it also never fully condemns her for it. the narrative wants us to forgive her, i think, in a way that it doesn't really care if we forgive, say anne. there are absolutely parents that are designated firmly in the villain category (#mafia boss burt bass circa season 6), but none of them come out looking to be shining examples of heroes either.

i think the show WANTS rufus to look that way but he just... doesn't. i don't hate him or think he's an absolute monster, but it's incredibly frustrating for him to get put on a pedestal (more by the fandom than the show itself, i'd say, though it depends on the circles you run in). a thought i had when i was trying to wrangle my thoughts in response to this ask jdjsjsjs was that... idk it almost seems like, prior to season one, rufus was used to getting to be The Fun Parent? and part of what alison leaving triggers is him having to figure out how to have a more authoritative role in his children's lives while still showing his care for them. and he gets a lot of that wrong! which makes sense. i think that when you're not used to being the authority and you start to try, you might hold on too tight and be harsher than you mean to be at first. which is what he does! especially with jenny. and that makes sense! i don't have a problem with that in and of itself - it's that it doesn't really get better? he refuses to see jenny's point of view throughout every conflict they have and never really tries to have empathy for her struggling to find her role in the ues (despite insisting, according to the pilot, that the only way both his children will be succesful is going to private school) or for her dreams of being a designer. it's hard not to chalk up his often controlling and judgmental attitude toward jenny as misogny (on his part, maybe, on the writers' part, definitely) because he DOES tend to make more) because he does tend to give dan more grace. but if I'M trying to show any grace, i think part of it likely stems from insecurities and fears from his own musical aspirations - he knows what it cost him and that he's not considered much more than a washed-up musician at this point, that he had to choose between his family and his music and he's chosen them, full stop. he knows dan is passionate about writing, but dan's more cautious, more hesitant, less sure of his craft or how much value he puts on it over everything else. (there are multiple story arcs about this!) i think jenny scares him a lot more because she's burning with pure ambition. she's not hesitant or unsure about it; she knows what she wants and she's going to risk whatever she needs to get it. i think i would be remiss to act like that doesn't play some role in how suffocating their relationship becomes.

tl;dr you're so right anon! i had lots of thoughts about it.

#gossip girl #gossip girl meta #anonymous #gg critical //#ask to tag //#thanks for sending this anon!!#i LOVE talking incessantly about media analysis #people should always feel free to send me asks like this because i love reading them and answering!!#even if we disagree as long as you're respectful i'm always happy to engage!

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peachfiend · 1 year ago

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okay first, spoiler warning! talking about season two here don't read if you care about spoilers

I haven't seen very many people talking about the music of this season/series, and while i'm certainly not the most experienced when it comes to musical analysis, but i have noticed some things!

Particularly relating to what i'm calling the "love motif" from here on out. It's the first three notes in the violin music that plays at the end of the blitz scene in season one, right after Crowley returns the books to Aziraphale. That is not the only time we hear that group of three notes and it's making me go insane for a few reasons

the most obvious two examples we hear this theme play are in season two episode two, and season two episode four.

Really only one of these is actually SIGNIFICANT in relation to Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship but i'll talk about them anyways. In episode two, we see a lot of Aziraphale's transition towards being actually "on the same side" as Crowley. He eats human food for the first time, lies to heaven, and most importantly- realizes that Crowley isn't quite as bad as he insists he is. Crowley didn't kill the goats, he only transformed them into birds. And as soon as those goats are transformed back into their true selves, we hear the love motif. All of the music beforehand is tense and suspenseful strings as Aziraphale attempts to walk away from Crowley. We as the audience are supposed to believe Crowley's insistance that he is evil. He isn't good.

And then a bird bleats like a goat. And Aziraphale turns them back into their true forms and we hear it; those same three notes from the blitz scene. There's more support in the bass this time, but that only serves to flesh out the tune and continue to make it unique.

In my opinion this isn't Aziraphale supposedly falling for Crowley significantly earlier than many expected, I'm of the opinion that he fell somewhere before the french revolution, but realized his feelings during the blitz. However, to me, this is the moment that Aziraphale realizes he can trust Crowley to some extent. He may not be the angel Aziraphale once knew, but he certainly still has some good in him. Aziraphale can allow himself to befriend (and eventually fall in love with) Crowley because of this moment, and the music depicts that perfectly. The moment is short, but it's sweet and impactful

Season two episode four's moment with the theme is a lot less thematically important; it's the flashback to the blitz scene but from the zombie's perspectives. The motif plays in a traditional minor key, as we witness Aziraphale and Crowley walk off together from a hidden and blurry perspective. This doesn't really show much about their relationship, but certainly is another example of the motif being used.

This isn't the only time the motif is used, though. I wouldn't be surprised if I missed a few examples of it, but I certainly noticed a few.

The motif plays twice in episode six, which is not surprising in the slightest to me, knowing the ending 20 minutes

The first time is plays is while Crowley is tidying the bookshop, in the short period after Aziraphale has left to talk to the metatron but before Maggie and Nina come to demand he actually communicate for once in his goddamn life. The motif plays on cello three times in a row and he switches the bookshelves back from the ballroom decor to their regular shelves and moves an armchair back to it's usual place. it's a variation on the theme we hear in the blitz scene, sure, but it's there. I honestly just think this one is really sweet; Crowley is tidying up the bookshop Aziraphale cares so much about, even if he certainly doesn't. It could imply that one of Crowley's love languages could be acts of service, but i haven't deliberately looked for enough evidence throughout the series to conclusively say that's the case.

The other time I noticed it play is... a lot less obvious. I could be wrong honestly, but if i'm right it absolutely HURTS.

A minor key version of the love motif plays just as Aziraphale enters the elevator up to heaven. It sounds a lot less eerie than the zombie episode version, and a lot more regretful to me. But it's so quickly drowned out by choral voices singing in anticipation, then as the shot switches from aziraphale to Crowley/Maggie and Nina it changes again to something melancholic.

However, heartbreakingly- There is absolutely none of the motif during Aziraphale and Crowley's kiss. Violins and choral voices sing, and i've just now noticed that some of the vocal progressions in the elevator/in the kiss are very similar (which might mean something- or might just be that it's a cool sounding melancholic choral bit), but there is NOTHING of the love motif in their kiss. Nothing I could even possibly spin into thinking "Oh, it's just distorted/in a minor key", there is nothing. This kiss is not one of love. Not even one of regretful, painful love. It is a goodbye, it is a plea for aziraphale to just realize what he is losing, but it is not something coming from love.

And doesn't that just HURT

(I can only hope that we'll be able to hear this motif in season three, can only hope that just maybe they'll be able to kiss again and we'll hear it play in something epic and beautiful. But if it does play, then that only feels like it proves the lack of love in this current kiss which will just be pain all over again)

I'm gonna watch through season one again specifically looking out for the motif, and probably keep an eye out when i inevitably watch through season two again. If anyone else noticed the motif play at other points lmk and i will update this/make a new post as a sequel

EDIT: Found some season one examples!

I decided to check the bandstand scene and the “when i’m off in the stars, i won’t even THINK about you” scene, the motif is there in BOTH. It’s much more obvious in the bandstand scene, though not quite enough for me to pick up on it when i wasn’t looking explicitly for it. On the bandstand is the variation on the melody that stays the most consistant to when we first hear it- it’s almost just violins, just in a slow and regretful minor key. It’s not surprising to me in the slightest, though the fact it plays in this scene certainly helps to pad out the likelyhood that this is all intentional. Composers are smart as hell, it likely is.

In the “when i’m off in the stars” scene, it’s a LOT harder to notice. That scene is so loud and emotional it can be hard to pick up on what's being played at all, let alone the motifs they hold. This is another moment i'm really not sure i'm actually correct on, but again- it's another emotionally heavy moment for the pair where a set of strings plays three notes in a similar pattern to all of the other times the motif has been noticed (although in this case it's on a lower set of strings, and is sandwiched within the much more unique music for this scene specifically. It's not at the beginning of the music, unlike the other examples.) I'm curious as to if the hiddenness of the motif is meaningful in this scenario, but considering that it looks SO clearly like a breakup to quite literally everyone watching (ie the dude who says "it's not worth it" to aziraphale immediately after Crowley leaves) i think it may just be that the romantic tensions are so obvious in this scene that it's unnecessary? Or i'm looking too far into it. Either way, i think it was there.

it wasn't present in the ritz scene right at the end of the first season, but considering the nightengale song playing on the piano being so significant for other reasons, it would have been really quite out of place in that scene, so it's really not a surprise to me in this case. Would've made me smile, though. either way!

THE MOTIF IS ALSO IN THE TITLE SEQUENCE. THE FUCKING OPENING SONG. At around like 1:10 in the song on spotify it plays, on violin, just much faster and livelier than what we hear in the actual show during the emotional moments it plays to fit in with the rest of the music. https://open.spotify.com/track/5XZw1AA2w7Y5WZI9YQrMhi?si=e815c70a7dc64aad

I'm sure it's on every version of the opening, this is just the track i actually 100% know the timestamps for, so. And this just feels absolutely huge to me, personally; this is a love story. It has always been a love story, from the start of the first season. The motif that plays in every dramatic and love fueled moment in the show is present from the very first episode: it's in the title sequence. David Arnold you goddamn genious

#Good omens #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #gos2 spoilers #go2 spoilers #music #ineffable husbands #ineffable divorce

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lordmayokcorner · 2 years ago

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IVE I'VE Review

-- written April 10th, updated May 4th --

-- image: NME --

First full length album by the Korean pop girl group IVE under Starship Entertainment. Many high expectations were set on this album considering it followed three “A/B” style single releases, Eleven, Love Dive, and After Like, which all topped charts. Love Dive even made #10 on the Global Billboard. 11 songs long, it was released April 10th 2023, with a single “Kitsch” pre-released on March 27th. The title track of this album is song 2, I AM.

This was written on the day of release, so I have no idea what will end up being popular, a fun game indeed. I’ve (haha no pun intended) listened to each song three times to give me a relatively good perspective on each. I’ll describe the song as I’m listening to it, give my thoughts, and rate it on a scale of 1-10. A 5 is completely neutral, no thoughts good or bad, with 1 and 10 being the worst and best possible songs to my taste. Take my rating with a grain of salt, and no hate please!

Blue Blood - 8/10

Update: 7/10. Less exciting throughout most of the song than it used to be.

Immediately this song demands attention. The dark synths and powerful drums remind me a little bit of Love Dive mixed with a bit of LION by (G)-IDLE. The simplistic but consistently driven feeling of this song is magnificent. I’m very happy to see how many lines are given to Gaeul. She may be my bias, but I really do think she is a talented vocalist, on top of her excellent dance. Whatever instrument is used in the post chorus is a really good choice and a very interesting sound. I love the almost south asian/middle eastern sound this group has on some of their releases. Sound quality on the vocals could be better. Love it overall though.

I AM - 6/10

Update: 7/10. I like this better. The chorus is fun.

Very different from the last. Keeps the synth and drum sound, but much more fun and dancey. It would be well described as bouncy. The vocal processing in the chorus is very pleasant, and the bass is smooth. I don’t love the sound of the vocals on the verses however. The “three” feel of this song feels quite repetitive so this song becomes very boring after a bit of hearing it. That said, the production is VERY powerful and it’s certainly a fun track.

Kitsch - 7/10

Update: 7/10. Not much changed.

The little whistle sound at the beginning is nice. Instantly the bass is infectious and I love the feel. It feels like a happy, laid-back Love Dive. Verses are excellent, in the vocals, production, instrumentation, mixing, everything. Pre-chorus is disappointing. Much more formulaic and the clap is not for me, however I do like the low synth sound a lot. If the pre-chorus didn’t hurt enough already the chorus of this song falls completely flat. It doesn’t fit the rest of the song well at all and the vocal lines are just not it, but the bass is very smooth. Post chorus I quite like. The rapping is decent and the bass is simply incredible. It really reminds me of Charli XCX. I love this song but the chorus just isn’t it.

Lips - 6/10

Update: 6/10 still. Nice.

Kiss Me More. Immediately. I’ll try to judge this as its own song, but it really is just a copy of Kiss Me More (Doja Cat and SZA). I like the guitar and percussion sounds in the background. They help to set the vibe. The vocals are nice in this track. The concept is a bit overdone though. Honestly I don’t have much more to say. It’s alright. Nothing too against it or for it aside from plagiarism.

Heroine - 9/10

Update: 7/10. Not as into this one now.

Oooooh this one is nice! The intro is quite soft and flowery. The synths sound excellent in this song. The reverbed vocals are beautiful. The chorus is nothing new, but has a nice feel. The post chorus on the other hand is infectious. The way this soft beautiful song drops into this bad*ss minor key with more reverbed vocals. Before you know it, it’s gone back to being soft and sweet. Toward the end of the song, we get more and more of this badass smooth dark feel. An ominous buildup and a little spoken word and we’re back into an extended version of the post chorus. I love this song overall.

Mine - 5/10

Update: 6/10. Production and mood is really nice.

Vocals are a bit breathy at the start, but the little sine synth is nice sounding and reminds me of BAYNK. Pre-chorus and chorus have so much energy! The sidechained distorted synth is incredible. Unfortunately what feels like a pre-chorus ends up fading into verse 2, making me think there is no real chorus. After verse 2, we get more of a formal pre-chorus which is absolutely beautifully done. The instrumentals here are so soft. It almost feels like a more electronic version of parts of Snail Mail’s Valentine, or some songs on Chloe Moriondo’s second record Blood Bunny. I’m a little disappointed by the fact that this song never really feels like it goes anywhere. The whole middle section of the song is excellent, but it just feels like one giant build up. Despite its good parts, I don’t love this song.

섬찟 (Hypnosis) - 5/10

Update: 6/10. Banger.

Wow this is different. But oh no. Oh no Ive. This is the second song on this album that is just brutal plagiarism. The vast majority of sounds, melodies, and vocal/rap lines in this song are literally just Ashnikko’s Daisy. The resemblance is SO strong. I would enjoy this more if it wasn’t a copy of another song, but I must say I do prefer this copy to the original. The production is much more solid and punchy. While it may lack some of the interesting melodic elements of Daisy, it hits harder. Around halfway into the song, the vibe totally switches and we get distant reverbed vocals (a common theme on this record), deep synth bass, and an old school drum ‘n’ bass beat. I prefer this to the main vibe of the song, but it turns back to the Daisy sound pretty quickly, but the song doesn’t end too fast for some incredible rapping to fit in the end. Like Lips, I think my opinion comes out net zero.

NOT YOUR GIRL - 3/10

Update: 6/10. This one really grew on me.

Initially it feels a little weak and circa 2010. The guitar and bass lines make it feel a bit cheesy. The pre-chorus turns it around however; The piano is powerful and the chords are smooth. The chorus combines the verse and the pre-chorus to form a sort of Twice-like feel good hook. Definitely big Twice vibes combined with some elements of classic early teens pop hits. I think it’s well done, it’s just not for me. I would be fine hearing it in a store or something, I just would rarely ever play it if I had the choice.

궁금해 (Next Page) - 9/10

Update: 9/10. Still love it.

This one is clean as fck. Love the relaxed Hip-Hop/R&B beat in the verse. It’s giving Red Velvet and Purple Kiss. The pre-chorus feels almost like a rap breakdown, but also building up. The chorus is nice, but it loses some of its ability to be effortlessly cool like in the verses. An example of a song which starts out as good as this but keeps it and builds on it in the chorus would be Day n Nite by Moon Sujin, if you know it. I’m definitely liking the fun vibe after the second chorus though. The synth stabs sound pretty awesome. Kind of like Love Dive (a 10/10), the beginning of this song is the best for me. The whole song has a sort of lush quality that I can’t get enough of though.

Cherish - 9/10

Update: 9/10. Still favorite on the album.

Another R&B bop! They’re really bringing the funk here. Sounds a lot like some of the more laidback stuff Le Sserafim has put out such as Impurities and Sour Grapes. Wonyoung’s little pre-chorus vocal line sounds so nice, and Gaeul and Leeseo work incredibly well together on the chorus. The synth stabs that come in are just so clean and classic. The background synths and piano in the end help tie the whole thing together and add sustenance to the beat. This one is certainly effortlessly cool, though it lacks a bit of the pure lushness of Next Page. It makes up for it with its undeniably infectious vibe. This song succeeds at what Next Page couldn’t: being cool as fck all the way through!

Shine With Me - 2/10

Update: 3/10. Production is decent.

Oh no, last song, these are rarely good. The little arrhythmic background synth at the beginning and the chimes are cool, but there isn’t much else. The vocals are very very autotuned. I think that they could’ve done much better with an end song. If you like this song, I totally respect that, but personally I do not like it. Listening to it three times has been a little difficult. I do think that on this song, and throughout the album, the instrumentals are incredible, it just does not tie together well at all.

Final Thoughts

Overall, this is an INCREDIBLE record. It’s very rare that I find a pop album that I like this many tracks of. I think that they could’ve done a bit better with a couple tracks, but even most of the ones I disliked are quality songs that could easily be loved by people who like different styles than I. When I saw that this had 11 tracks (reference to Eleven?) I was very worried many of them would be weak, but I was not disappointed in general.

I don’t want to give anything a 10 because I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I think that my favorite track on this album as of now is track 10, Cherish! This is a bit of an outlier, but it is just simply amazing. The production is amazing, and it really brings out the strengths of the three voices that generally are less strong, Leeseo, Gaeul and Wonyoung. Don’t fight me on Wonyoung, just an opinion. This track is effortless and amazing. If anything is a 10, it’s Cherish.

Thank you for reading this 1700 word beast of a review! Let me know what you think about this album.

- Maya

#ive gaeul #ive #i've ive #album review

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maocin · 1 year ago

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Where Have All The Merrymakers Gone?, 1997, Harvey Danger

Harvey Danger is not a hall-of-fame band. They are not special, they produced no classics, they left very little imprint on our larger culture musically. But with Where Have All The Merrymakers Gone? they wrote a pretty much perfect album. Aside from two minutes of dead air at the end, this record rocks from start to finish. I want to talk about why this is one of my favorite albums of all time.

Starting Off Strong

Okay, so you've heard "Flagpole Sitta". Good song! A nice summer-y bop to get heads turning when it comes on over the radio. Something everybody can sing along to when the chorus hits. Maybe, if you knew who Harvey Danger were off the top of your head, you've heard "Carlotta Valdez", the frankly electrifying album opener that makes an equal case for most listenable on the album. This strong one-two will get you moving, get you hyped. Plenty of albums from genuinely talented artists go by without having even one song that you feel like really fucking screaming along to. And yet, from the first chorus of Carlotta to the very last four-count in Flagpole Sitta, if I'm not in public, I'm probably losing my voice. Maybe even if I am in public.

The guitars sound like what I want guitars to sound like, sometimes twinkly and bright with an undercurrent of grungy distorted rhythm, sometimes driving fully into the territory of punk with a warbling angry lead and a forceful drive on crunchy power chords. The drums keep things moving -- there's no laying into the groove here, no snapping on two and four. This is for moving your whole body to the inexorable pull of a fucking awesome downbeat. The vocals are distinct but still speak the language of late 90's pop-grunge with some typical growls, a sarcastic, cynical delivery, and the obligatory megaphone-sounding bridge every now and again.

Oh, and holy shit, that bass. Paul McCartney is crying tears of happiness somewhere.

These first two songs are perfect pop-punk anthems. When I finish "Carlotta Valdez" I want to scream YES! along with the guys in the studio. Flagpole Sitta makes me want to go drive a car too fast, strut around Main Street with the crew, unapologetically enjoy my world with awareness of the enlightened hipster perspective and rejection of its caustic holier-than-thou attitude. In short: Go, white boy, go.

2. Changing the Game

It's extremely important what happens between "Wooly Muffler", "Private Helicopter", and the three songs that follow. And now I want to talk about lyrics, because yeah, those matter too. Wooly Muffler opens with a strikingly evocative image given what you're used to hearing after the first two songs: Flagpole Sitta's "Only stupid people are breeding/The cretins cloning and feeding/And I don't even own a TV" seems like it comes from some Green Day song* but the vulnerability of "All I ever wanted to be was a wooly muffler on your naked neck" belongs on Pinkerton. Neither of these are necessarily good or bad -- they're just well-executed in equal measure, and the range should be acknowledged. Wooly Muffler is not the first hint that this album might be much more than another dumb pop-punk effort, but it is the most obvious. Unless you're a Hitchcock fan. For everyone else, when the guitars kick back in heavy on Wooly Muffler, we know for sure it's real. "If you've got greatness in you/Would you do us all a favor/And keep it to yourself" is one of my favorite lines in anything I've ever read, seen, or heard. These guys are the real deal, another Nirvana, capable of capturing the energy without succumbing to the bullshit. *(although it's actually quite delightfully ironic and clever and if we're being charitable "Longview" is too, and everyone everywhere should really give artists more credit because being authentic in ways that everyone agrees with is comically hard)

And then "Private Helicopter" comes on. You just can't help but recognize everything awful about the genre in the way Sean Nelson delivers "favorite ex-girlfriend." I almost turned the album off right here the first time I listened to it. There's no use lying; I totally did, and I had to go back later to finish the rest. I am here to promise you: it's not blink-182. You are not hearing the beginning of a boyish album about sex drugs and rock'n'roll. It's one miss for one verse, if it's that. Yes, it's scary to hear a record that sounds like it's headed in the right direction almost veer into the wrong one, but I solemnly swear that this song gets personal, it gets angry, it is not a bit piece. And that's why getting through the first half is so important, because it's not their fault that "What's My Age Again" and later Offspring albums are cringey to listen to now. This song suffers for sins that are not (!) its own. So you might be upset heading into the middle of the album. Fortunately --

3. Holy shit these next two songs are really fucking good I mean wow

"Here's a fact you cannot rise above/We'll have problems, yeah/Then we'll have bigger ones."

As a writer or listener for a vast amount of music all told, I am not uniquely qualified to say this but I am qualified enough. When Sean Nelson says he doesn't know what the line "From damage to damn control" means, he is not admitting defeat. The best writers in the world will tell you a good song is a gift and a good line is pure dumb luck. Sometimes, it's just stringing words together and singing them in a way that means something to someone. If you don't feel anything when you listen to "Problems and Bigger Ones", there's something fundamentally wrong with you as a human person.

Jack The Lion is deeply personal and deeply sad. I watched my father lose his father to Alzheimer's; I read the 23rd Psalm at Papu's funeral. I was too young to understand why Dad cried at "Cat's Cradle," call it self-centeredness. "When you coming home dad?/I don't know when" just didn't hit as hard at eight, because my father had been home for me. It's not nostalgia talking when I say I fucking love this band. It's "Jack The Lion." Watching my father deteriorate would break me. This song is really, really good.

4. Now that we're all sold on this being phenomenal, lets listen to some songs about love and hate and all that good stuff

I don't have much to say about "Old Hat." It's one of those love songs that you have to squint at to realize it's astoundingly true. There's not much conventional beauty in that. However, it works out to be exactly what it's meant to be. What a commendable thing to aspire to. To ape one of my favorite people on the internet, the brevity of Old Hat has a lot to teach about the craft of writing. I learned, of course, absolutely nothing.

"Old Hat" is about love. So is "Terminal Annex," but a different kind: the inverse, really. "Dreaming of the fistfight I never got into/Thinking of the mean shit I wish I'd said to you" is one of those lines that means a lot to those born into boyhood in America. I hope I've sold you on the idea that these fine gentlemen are self-aware; it's my firm belief that the song isn't actually about how much he hates this girl, rather it's about the ways that kind of hatred can influence a life. In any case, it means something, and that's another check mark.

5. Taking it home

The last two songs have to mean something too. We're this close to a more-or-less perfect album, just bring it home.

And oh brother, does "Wrecking Ball" almost fuck it up or what. Maybe you're into this sort of thing, but I was enjoying my album free of hackneyed metaphors, with its depth coming from reflection and self-awareness and trust in the artist. Creating a metaphorical house is... a little much for my taste. But it's got that profound sound, and just because it has the T.S. Eliot accent isn't enough reason to hate it.

Let's talk about "Radio Silence" now. Assume for a moment the last three minutes of the song don't exist. What a fucking song. In 1997, before Twitter collapsed all nuance, before Facebook bore our personal information into the gaping maw of every aggregating advertiser, before the hyper-modern fractionalization of every group of people, we have "Radio Silence". The lament of a man who just so desperately wants to be left alone. And by way of that lament, his caricature. And by way of that caricature, some form of commentary. Sure -- it winds up meaning what you want it to mean. Absolutely it's true that you could overanalyze this album to death, it has the accent of profundity and enough words to feed a freshman lit class for weeks, months if they can bring in other works to compare it all to. Obviously this much is true.

But in 2023 when you listen to this fucking song and you hear "All hail to another confession" how can it not make you feel at least something. Some people walk around living thinking a friend who asks for favors is no friend at all, some people believe their public profile is a great place to drop all the trauma of their childhood. Is it so much to ask to maintain a little radio silence? If you choose to read it as a plea for normalcy, it might look a little something like that. But it's all yours to interpret and that's the best any artist anywhere can offer.

All that said, here's my two cents. The ending refrain of the song sounds fucking beautiful. By that point I've already decided what I want to believe for the day -- a song's not going to change my mind about what should and shouldn't be acceptable in polite conversation with strangers. Whatever I'm feeling or thinking, when that refrain comes in, I get chills.

6. Go forth!

If you lived through the nineties you might remember Flagpole Sitta, or if you were on Vimeo in 2007 (google flagpole sitta lipsync), or if you listen to your local alt-rock radio station. But it's not even the best song on this album. I prefer Carlotta Valdez and Jack The Lion. Furthermore, Where Have All The Merrymakers Gone? isn't even their best whole work -- that probably goes to King James Version, although Little By Little was also well recieved.

Harvey Danger is self-aware and self-important, deeply involved with the culture that birthed it and equally parts mocking of its origins. They are fine lyricists, fine musicians, they put the music first and produce songs that you can enjoy listening to. And most importantly, if your friend who likes good music asks you how the album is, you can play Flagpole Sitta -- but if you have a friend who thinks Nirvana were industry plants, well, you can just as easily play them Radio Silence, and get a less frigid reception than if you had confessed to liking Dave Matthews. They created an almost-perfect album. Had Sean Nelson taken a better tone at the beginning of "Private Helicopter" and the record label decided to lop off the last three minutes of nothingness with noise, this album would be impossible to find fault with. Not a 10 by any means -- it's no great work of art -- but something even rarer: a perfect seven.

7. Postscript

Reasons you might not like this album:

It's not very musical and the vocal performances range from 'nothing special' to 'straight-up grating if you don't like pop punk'.

Mired in mediocrity, it doesn't strive for or achieve anything beyond the grounds it covers. No innovative sound or meaningful lyrical accomplishment; it never captured a movement or spoke to a generation the way a classic album does.

The lyrics aren't much! If you're used to something like Springsteen's grit, or Penelope Scott's wittiness, or the complexity and sincerity of Kendrick Lamar, you're going to be disappointed. Hell, even if you're more of a Taylor Swift fan you might find "So casually cruel in the name of being honest" to be more pithy and striking than most of Harvey Danger's offerings. Although if you think "All Too Well" inarguably clears everything on this album, even after listening, then I'll be very sad.

By calling this a perfect album I don't mean to say that it's full of perfect songs, or to argue that it's a classic, or even to say that it's particularly good for your tastes. If you look for greatness in your music, you will not find it here. But what they try to achieve, they achieve, and they do so entirely without fault. This album left a sincere impression on me and I hope you didn't read this far because what the fuck are you doing you're wasting your time go listen to it!!!

#harvey danger #music #where have all the merrymakers gone?#music review #music recs #song recs #90s music #pop punk #alt rock #90's alternative

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watsername · 2 years ago

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alright my long awaited (nobody asked) thoughts on the new maneskin album as a bitch that had way too much maneskin on her Spotify wrapped.

OWN MY MIND - 7/10

I rlly fuckin vibe w this song . the instrumentals in my opinion are some of the best in the album . ive been walking about going do u wanna do u wanna own my mind to the point where its annoying ppl.

GOSSIP- 9/10

don't ask me why this song just has a little bit of girlypop to it. anyway I dance in my bedroom to this this is what this song was made for. drunk women to dance around in their bedrooms in a tshirt and underwear. do your sexy little drunk jumping dance throwing ur hair around u will have such a good time. tom morello FUCKS btw.

TIMEZONE - 8/10

made my cry what the fck . my u key is sticky btw I might jst be missing the u from words sometimes . anyway im a sucker for a rock ballad . the Spotify notes saying it was the least thought out song by dam as an anxious love letter,,,, my heart. the raw emotion in his voice. its gonna send me over the edge

`BLA BLA BLA - 6/10

this was probably my lest favourite from the album it just didn't make me feel any kind of way. is it a bad song by any means ? no I think its fun and the storyline of the song is rlly interesting in the whole depicting the perspective of the most toxic boyfriend and playing it in a way that ridicules him but musically it just wasn't my style as much as the other tracks were

BABY SAID - 8/10

BASS LINE !!!!!!!!!!!! SLAY !!!!!! its got a good build to it and i rlly like the overall song it reminds me of something but I cant place what . this is gonna be another one I end up dancing to . it feels like an updated version of a song that would be on il ballo della vita . u know . it has il bella della vita vibes. I fuck w it

GASOLINE- 8.5/10

IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE !!!!!! genuinely I wanted it on the album since we got the teaser last year its such a good song with a powerful message the only thing is I wish it had a bit More going on like the heaviness of the song builds with every 'were gonna dance on gasoline' (and it did a little) so its just musical rock madness by the end if u catch my drift. its still a fucking banger tho and im so happy its on the album

FEEL - 7/10

this song reminds me of something and I DONT KNOW WHAT IT ISSSSSSSS. maybe its something 90s early 2000s but I cant figure it out. parts of the album have very britpop or like 90s rock vibes anyway the lil 'im about to make u feel' then straight into the guitars gets me pumped and I love it

DONT WANNA SLEEP - 7/10

big fan of the instrmentals and when dam shouts when he sings bt its just nit my fave from the album. I do love the dichotomy of the music and the lyrics and Thomas played w that guitar solo

KOOL KIDS- 100000/10

obsessed. very 90s britpop. the rawness the emotion behind it the fact that he was drnk when they recorded it the frustration with the sneering and snobbery of people post Eurovision the references to everything that happened over those weeks the 'eat my shit' at the end. its powerful what does it mean to be cool why is there so much pressure on people to look and act a certain way why do we have all these preconceived notions on people based on everything down to the music they listen to . I love it .

IF NOT FOR YOU - 10/10

im a scier for a rock ballad. the fact this was done in a one-take. the vocals the strings the instrumentals in general its just so gorgeous . im sobbing listening to it rn . I want this as my first dance as my wedding I really do I need to get my boyfriends approval tho. and he actually needs to propose first which won't be soon. I have time to convince him

READ YOUR DIARY - 7/10

I know that this is kinda a dark song about obsession but,, what is that melody . the chorus just goes so hard . its so good. AGAIN THOMAS BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER WITTH THE GUITAR SOLO !!!!!!!!!

MARK CHAPMAN- 9/10

Im still learning Italian. but this song fucks so hard. genuinely all of their Italian songs are amazing I don't thinks there's one bad one. but the pace the guitars the bass the drums (all of them basically) I love some fast paced rock I love his voice I love this fucking song . Thomas u fucking genius the guitar solo SLAYED !!!!!!!!!!1

LA FINE - 10/10

im quitte literally obsessed w this song. ive made my mm listen to it. I power walk to class listening to it. it has that Teatro d'ira vibes to it very much zitti e buoni in nome del padre moments kind of lividi Sui gomiti vibes as well and girl. thats my fave album. it fucks. this song . and I love how they use their music to discuss important issues and serious topics

IL DONO DELLA VITA- 7/10

the storyline of this song is so interesting in its awareness of appreciating the things you have and what's around you and appreciating the little things and I can see this being phenomenal on stage and being recognised worldwide . I like faster paced songs but I love this song and I think the way it all builds and comes to a climax at the end is gorgeous before it slows down again for damiano and vic to all it all together. brilliant

MAMMAMIA- 10/10

girl it was number 2 in my wrapped second to zitti e buoni. makes me feel like a whore makes me want kill someone in a sexy way its fantastic. sexy ass bass line too. bass player is ALSO sexy.

SUPERMODEL

I was torn on this song when it first released bt the more one been listening to it the more I like it . love the nirvana reference. low waisted pants on onlyfans I pay for that <- best part of the song .

THE LONELIEST- 9/10

this is my mums favourites of the ones ive made her listen to . she likes the music video as well. again I cannot stress enough that domino is such a talented writer his lyrics are genuinely so poetic so beautiful and the band are so talented at building around the lyrics to portray the same form of real emotion with their instruments as domino does his voice everything just fits together and it creates masterpieces. I love this fucking song

the fact that a 6 was the lowest rating here today. I love maneskin fr I believe what theyre doing is reigniting the poplar interest in rock music and they are going to go so so so far . theyre genuinely some of the most talented people of our generation theyre insane. I really hope they expand their tor dates for future tours bc one uk show in england during my uni exam season is killing my Scottish ass . im obsessed w their music fr.

#måneskin

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sinceileftyoublog · 1 year ago

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Dazy, Lifeguard, & Illusion Of Choice Live Show Review: 12/4, Cobra Lounge, Chicago

Dazy

BY JORDAN MAINZER

I'm not sure what Dazy does at a faster pace these days: tour or release tunes. Since we caught his Chicago debut of full-band arrangements in January, he's come to town twice more, including last night's stop at the Cobra Lounge. And mere months after releasing OUTOFBODY in 2022, in March, James Goodson shared songs recorded around the same time in the form of the cheekily titled OTHERBODY. The record continued the vibe of Dazy's debut LP, from the "Revolution" crunch of opener "I Know Nothing At All" to the sugary noise of "Every Little Thing". Just two months ago, Dazy shared the Ryan Hemsworth-assisted "Forced Perspective" (Lame-O), a collection of rounded country pop guitar riffs, a chirpy electric beat, and an uneasy, yet anthemic chorus.

Dazy's James Goodson

Always writing and always playing, it must be hard for Goodson to pick a setlist on a nightly basis. A year-plus removed from OUTOFBODY and over two years from MAXIMUMBLASTSUPERLOUD: The First 24 Songs, Dazy's set at the Cobra Lounge felt like as close as you can get right now to "the hits," the crowd pumping fists, banging heads, and singing along to favorites "On My Way", "Split", "The Perfect Crime", "Pressure Cooker", and "Invisible Thing". I was just as happy, though, to see Goodson lean into the sweet, softer side of Dazy. "Forced Perspective", with its curly bass and guitar scrapes, was a highlight, as was "Every Little Thing", "could be a country hit" "Rollercoaster Ride", and set closer "Out of Body". "Is that my brain hanging by a thread?" Goodson sang on "Out of Body"; as much as he may have been disassociating at the time of writing the song, his everyday anxieties have certainly provided ample creative fodder for some of the best power pop of the past half-decade.

Lifeguard

Chicago's Lifeguard opened for Dazy, which was perhaps anybody's final chance to see the band in an opening slot at a venue as small as Cobra Lounge. The hyped three-piece, formed in 2019, signed to Matador Records earlier this year. Let's get it out of the way: Yes, drummer Isaac Lowenstein's sister Penelope is in labelmates Horsegirl, and bassist Asher Case's father is Brian Case of FACS (and formerly of Disappears, The Ponys, and 90 Day Men). Thankfully, Lifeguard is a beast of its own, combining chanted vocals with clanging, metallic guitars and dexterous, repetitively pummeling drums. Earlier this year, Matador re-released the band's 2022 EP Crowd Can Talk along with a collection of new material, Dressed in Trenches. Live, Lifeguard showed what they're truly about: off-kilter time signatures, uneven song sections, moments where you can't tell when they're warming up or about to switch gears. When they played "17-18 Lovesong", Case's rounded bass and monotone vocals wiggled around Kai Slater's stabbing guitars and falsetto off-beat harmonies, though the band never let you get too comfortably hypnotized in a groove. They finished with their newest song, the uncharacteristically poppy and straightforward (yet very welcome!) "In The City". You never know what's next with Lifeguard, and they're just getting started.

Illusion of Choice

Starting off the night was another local institution, four-piece shoegaze indie rock band Illusion of Choice. Most of their songs revolved around the atmospheres you'd expect with a genre descriptor like that: Alex Rackow's distorted guitars, Judith Pelkowski's heavy bass lines, Alex Boyajian's mammoth snares, and Tyler Tumminaro's sharp, nasal vocal delivery. Occasionally, they added elements of jangly surf, but for the most part, they chugged along deliberately, like on "Circling the Drain" and standout set closer "Bad Boy". Overall, Illusion of Choice offered an appropriate middle ground between Dazy's hooks and Lifeguard's deconstructed songs.

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chemnections · 2 years ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/gerardpilled/713163150311227392/i-appreciate-you-going-into-detail-on-the-lindsey

yeah, in this case it is more complicated than 'people holding lindsey more accountable for jimmy's underage relationship than jimmy'.

jimmy's actions are purely his own. he is being held accountable in the court system. he is not interacting and influencing people online. and lets be real, he isn't coming back. if he does, then that's a different conversation. but from a general public perspective, there is nothing left to do but move on. maybe investigate his friend james gunn.

it definitely appears that lindsey is getting more backlash, but the truth is that it is not solely based on jimmy's underaged relationship. that was just the cherry on top.

the criticism lindsey faces is because the long pattern of her behaviour of lying, manipulation and bullying. jimmy's case gets a lot of focus for a few reasons. it made the press, it breaks the 'it's just satire' excuse for msi. and it deals with the law. because it isn't actually illegal to be a shitty dishonest person (unless the lying is in court or for fraud, etc) - that just has to do with the morality of what behaviour we tolerate and what natural consequences are available.

lindsey lies. she lied about her racial background. about being adopted. that she plays bass. and much more. that is enough for some backlash because lying is wrong.

as for her tweets and jessicka. . . yes jessicka lies, but liars also tell the truth sometimes. and if its possible to distinguish the lies. . . some truth can also be distinguished - but i do believe in caution. saying that lindsey knew about jimmy's relationship really isn't that wild of an accusation. jessicka said everyone in the band knew. jimmy involved his underage girlfriend in band affairs at the time he wasn't shy about it. the situation at the time allowed for a relationship like that, doesn't matter if it was illegal. why would he stop talking about it if everyone around him was fine with it? not much changes in a few years, when lynz would join the band. i think steve's wife also posted about jimmy's underage relationship at some point- even though she has tried to back track that story hard.

lindsey has incentive to protect jimmy beyond friendship. it's her 'career' and reputation on the line, too. and realistically, we don't know the full scope of her lies and behaviour. just a drop in the bucket from what has been revealed through contradictions in her statements online and in interviews. people making observations isn't people making things up. jimmy is one of the people who would know the most out of everyone. if she doesn't support/defend him, what's stopping him from no longer protecting her from the things he knows about her?

it is very reasonable to be wary of an online anonymous claim - if we claim that anonymous online accusations must be treated like they are 100% truthful with no investigation, we will have incels making claims against everyone to cause chaos and kill the metoo movement.

but now things are different because the court case against jimmy is real. and let's be honest, it's a strong case. lindsey hasn't spoken out against him or the crime in general. removing msi from her bio isn't making a statement, especially when she is still claiming to be a bass player. she still follows him online. only time will tell if she ever does speak out against him. but i doubt it.

there will never be solid 'proof' of her actions. she's not an important figure like meghan markle - no journalist is actually going to dive into and document the things she has done and the contradictions in what she has claimed online.

i understand it's not the easiest to understand. i admit to being late to the party for realizing myself. because people like lindsey operate under the guise of plausible deniability. they have constructed a front for people to 'know' and respect and hide their bad behaviour behind the scenes. they often surround themselves with equally unreliable people so you don't believe them when they try telling the truth for once. and when what they are saying doesn't quite line up - you feel crazy. jimmy's case fully broke the illusion for me. made me really consider the accusations of lying, manipulation, bullying in relation to each other and once you notice the pattern you can't unsee it, even if you could excuse everything individually. although most can't be - her lies are very real. and normal people don't have a long list of lies and accusations of such a variety of shitty behaviour.

i've seen the fan that lindsey was accused of bullying talk about her experience on twitter. she has people to witness her claims. but she has moved on with her life and should be left alone.

there is enough information out there to judge that lindsey is not a person to trust. there is evidence that fans should avoid her. that is what i believe the criticism should achieve, to warn fans to steer clear away from her. the people in her life can deal with her grievances.

and it's important for fans to hold strong to the reality of these criticisms, because gerard clearly wants to brush her lies and bullying under the rug and have fans love her again. but that is not in the fans best interests. nor the band's tbh.

because she does want the praise and validation, for just being herself i guess. she does want to come back and influence people again to work for her interests.

the babysitting thing. . . i just can't trust it. it has some odd statements in it.

#anon #lynz #i felt like ranting apparently #this is just an opinion piece

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oro-e-diamanti · 3 years ago

Text

Quiet Music: Scherzo (Chapter Six; Part Two)

In collaboration with @bethanysnow

Butterflies getting caught in throats with no words to help explain. Time standing still with a heart breaking. Determination and a willingness to see it through float away in sleep.

Content | Fluff, slight smut warning, tw injury (nothing major, just a wrist injury)

Pairing | fem!Reader x Damiano

Word Count | 6644

Shoutout to @damianodavide, who was a superb help on this chapter and the real life nurse behind this one ;) 😘

***

Damiano’s head was spinning. As soon as he closed his eyes, Y/n’s face appeared in front of him, eyes hooded, lips plumps from just having kissed him, and an expression that promised a need for more. It left him bothered in a way that he knew would not let him sleep until he took care of it. Trying to pretend it was her feminine hand instead of his own rather undignified touch, he reached into the waistband of his underwear immediately letting out a hiss at the contact.

He was desperate for her, but if he couldn’t have her, his imagination would have to do. Pictures flashed through his mind as he moved his hand. Her on her knees, looking up at him through long lashes. He had already gotten a taste of the way she reacted when he complimented her, watching her eyes go wide as he called her a good girl. Her being good for him. Her on her back, ready to be devoured by him in any way he pleased. Feeling his hands go into her hair pulling her face up to look at him. Her bent over whatever furniture he could find, willing to let him have his way with her. Deeply, madly, irrefutably, he wanted it all. She was truly making him lose his mind. Her body and the way she moved were infatuating. Her laugh when someone did something dumb. The look in her eyes when she teased him back. He could still feel the kiss she left on his lips. He never wanted that feeling to end. Brava ragazza mia.

He came with an embarrassingly loud groan, unable to hold back or keep quiet. For a moment, in the silence, he wondered if anyone had heard. He was well aware that his room was surrounded by those of bandmates and crew, but he couldn’t remember who it was exactly anyway, and it didn’t bother him for long, his hazy mind drifting around once again.

***

“Where is your mind at?” Y/n looked up as Victoria pulled her out of her thoughts unexpectedly. Y/n had stopped in Victoria's room after breakfast, trying to keep tabs on what everyone’s plans were on their day off. She had meant to get some work done as Victoria was busying herself getting ready, but it had ended up with her staring into the distance, laptop almost forgotten on her lap.

“Oh, sorry. I’m here, what were you saying?”

“I asked where your mind is at.” Victoria fell forward laying on the bed. Y/n knew that the blonde was starting to learn to read her like a book and she wasn’t sure if she liked it or not.

“Yeah, um, listen. What would you say to someone that may have absolutely decimated her career, by maybe accidentally kissing her boss while they were all high?” She didn’t dare look at the bassist, bracing herself for whatever negative reaction would potentially come from this.

Victoria sat up in surprise, eyes wide and the hint of a smile playing on her lips. “I’m going to need a lot more information than that.” Without giving in to Y/n’s slight protest, she removed the laptop from the assistant’s legs, closing it shut and putting it away. “Tell me everything.”

“Well, there wasn’t much to it really. We sat on the couch, you know that. And I said something stupid about how his eyes looked like chocolates, or maybe gemstones? I don’t quite remember. Anyway, then he pulled my hair out of the hair-tie. I went to kiss his cheek, but he turned his face. Fuck, it was bad. Not the kiss! He is very good at that! But I shouldn’t have done that. And then he just went ‘it's cool, it happens’. What does that even mean?!” She was talking much too quickly, getting it all out before the rational part of her brain would make her shut up. Make her remember she was talking to someone she’d only just started getting to know a week ago, who she was working for. “Then Thomas crashed and you know how that ended. Now I might be avoiding him. Just a bit.” She looked at Vic with a slight panic in her eyes, unsure if she had said too much.

Victoria, on the other hand, seemed delighted to no end, if a little shocked. “Wait, as if you kissed with all of us there and no one noticed!” She exclaimed, briefly pausing, contemplating, but shaking it off to get back to the conversation. “So… Good kiss, huh? Did you enjoy it then? Wanna do it again?” Her eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Victoria! That is not what I am worried about here! I could lose my job. I- I could never show my face out there again if people found out. And I really enjoy this job, you know!” Her face scrunched a little bit, calming down with a sigh. “...But also, yes, he was a gentleman, and if he wanted to … kiss me again, I probably wouldn’t say no. But I also wouldn’t say yes. I work for you. This is not the time to be thinking about how much I enjoyed kissing Damiano!”

Her eyes went wide as her voice dropped to a whisper, looking down at her hands. “Ah fuck, I said that out loud.”

“Okay, let’s look at it from a rational standpoint then.” Victoria turned slightly more serious at seeing her panic. “There is no way you’ll be losing your job over this. Maybe I wouldn’t advise hopping into bed with the whole band and crew, but we always got a tight-knit relationship with people we work with anyway, you know that. None of us would rat you out to management or anything. Plus, if you liked and Damiano liked it… wouldn’t it be a shame to worry about anything else instead of going for it?”

“I don’t know if he liked it. I was busy trying not to pass out, to be honest. I avoided him this morning by going straight to your room. I actually kind of avoided everyone, I’m scared the words of what happened will just come out to anyone who asks… Kind of like they just did with you.” She let out another deep sigh, switching between looking at her nails, picking at them, and out the window. “If he ...you know ... Then maybe. I honestly don’t even know what I would do with that information. On the off chance that he did like it though. And wanted to go for it then I’d consider it.” She tried to remain as put together as possible and, well aware that she was failing miserably.

“Well, in that case, we have to find out what Damiano wants!” Victoria’s enthusiasm was back with a vengeance. “You should talk to him! Or should I talk to him? Maybe I should lock you in a room like those romcoms and threaten to not let you out again until you kiss.”

“Or you don’t do that because that is entrapment. I think I would be cool with you talking to him. But I still have to do my job. That comes first. Because as far as I am concerned,” Y/n got up and grabbed her laptop again, “it is business as usual. And last night was a fluke. Not to crush your rom-com dreams, love, but if I spoke to him I’d put my foot in my mouth faster than you can play bass.”

The smirk on Vic’s face didn’t promise anything good. “We’ll see about that, we’ll see,” she ominously muttered, before jumping up from the bed. “Now stop trying to pretend you got work to do, we’re going vintage clothes shopping.”

***

The thrift store turned out to be a small hole-in-the-wall kind of place, just off a side street - perfect for shopping in peace without getting much attention at all. Y/n hadn’t been all that keen on keeping the band company for this little adventure, but Victoria had insisted, claiming she needed a female perspective in case the boys were being stupid again. It had only taken a serious case of the puppy dog eyes to win her over, and Victoria found herself making a mental note to remember it.

The store was stuffed full of clothes, a kind of chaos that seemed to have an order that only the owner really understood. But it looked like heaven, and within seconds everyone had vanished into some corner or other, dying to find their newest favourite piece. For a moment, Victoria contemplated who she wanted to follow first, feeling the need to talk to at least two different people but also never wanting to miss out on a chance to go crazy with Thomas. Ended up deciding on Damiano. It seemed the more pressing issue. She hadn’t failed to notice how he would try to pretend that everything was normal, yet continuously evading Y/n’s eyes. She had kept her distance all the same. This wasn’t acceptable. She had to do something, Victoria decided.

She found the singer shuffling through some blouses, although much more half-heartedly than he tended to be when it came to vintage clothes. Looking out from the racks Victoria saw Y/n doing the same. She briefly considered how to go on about this - admit that Y/n had told her what had happened? Pretend she had actually seen the kiss last night? - but figured that Damiano would start talking on his own accord sooner or later. Especially if this was affecting him the way it was Y/n, and she was almost hoping it was.

“Okay, spill, what’s up with you today?”

Damiano shrugged, pulling a shirt out from the rack, and holding it against his body, waiting for Victoria's opinion. She raised a brow and put it back wordlessly.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” he responded rather vaguely.

“Damia, you’ve barely spoken at all today. Normally you can’t shut up. And you know, I’d be thankful for some peace and quiet from you, but you’re actually worrying me. So what’s going on with you?”

Damiano had a panicked look on his face as he scanned over the racks of clothes, his eyes flickering back and forth, obviously noticing Y/n shuffling through some things and slowly getting closer. Taking Vic by surprise, he dragged her into the dressing rooms.

“Okay, that’s…. Weirdly intimate, but go on,” Vic mumbled to herself as he closed the curtain behind them, still nervously looking around the small space.

“Rather talk to you in here, than her hear me out there. I may have fucked up, royally.” He crossed his arms over his chest and Victoria was sure he would be burning a hole into the wall with his vision if he possessed that power. He was avoiding looking at her and she knew it.

“Explain,” she simply demanded, sitting down on the tiny stool in the corner and looking up at Damiano. She wanted to hear it from him, hear what had happened in his version of the story, hear what was bothering him so much.

“So we were at that bar, right? Y/n was sitting next to me. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you were there. Anyway. We were talking. I don’t know if it was the smoking or whatever else, but I looked at her and - I don’t know why I did this but I did. I pulled her hair out of her hair tie.” He leaned on the wall, his head hitting the brick behind him. He groaned but Vic assumed it didn’t have anything to do with the pain. “And… and she was so beautiful. Her hair just all around her. So soft. And at that moment, she was laughing and it sounded heavenly. And I went to look at her again and suddenly my lips were on hers…” His voice softened at the end, losing his train of thought and drifting. She had never quite seen him like this. “Then she was freaking out, and I told her some fucking stupid line like ‘it happens’. I just wanted her to calm down but… Now she must think I’d just...” He groaned, slumping a little and finally looking over at Vic. “Then she ran off to help Thomas.”

“So, what you’re saying then is that you did enjoy it? Potentially wanna do it again?” She felt transported back to the conversation she’d had with Y/n just hours earlier, posing almost the exact same question. She had never been this involved with any of her friends’ relationships to this extent, but something told her that her help was desperately needed in this case.

He raised a brow at her. “Did you not hear the part where after we kissed she then proceeded to freak out? I doubt that she even wants to see my face right now.” A heavy sigh left him and Victoria found herself laying a hand on his arm. “And of course I want to kiss her again, Vic. I close my eyes and she is there. Hell, she wakes me up every morning! I can’t escape. She is everywhere I go! I turn a corner and she is there. She's the one we go to when wanting to eat, she arranges the cars, she helps us with concerts, she’s doing everything all the time. I don’t know how much more I can take!”

***

Y/n stood in the shoe aisle holding a pair of heels in her hand, contemplating for a second, before putting them on. Turning towards Ethan, who was walking towards her now, she realised it had eliminated all height differences between them. Definitely too high, she thought to herself. Holding onto his shoulders, she clumsily took them back off.

“Hey Ethan, find anything good?” The smile on her face felt forced but she was praying he wouldn’t see it.

He proudly holds up a black, studded belt with an intricate design on it, as well as a pink suede jacket. “How about you? I think I saw some nice trousers over there that might suit you. Wanna check it out?”

Y/n scoffed. She didn’t want to let her mood out on Ethan, trying her hardest to stay diplomatic. “Love the idea, but I doubt any of the clothes in here would go over my thigh. They’d fit you guys just great though. The jacket looks good, by the way.” She tried to distract herself from - well, everything - by putting the shoes away, mindlessly letting her fingers wander over the other pairs standing there.

Ethan looked at her in contemplation for a moment, but seemed to decide against following his train of thought. “At least try on some more shoes. Here, what about these?” He excitedly grabbed a pair of high-heeled boots, very much in the style she could see any of them wearing on stage - much less the one she usually went for when working.

A little intimidated, she took the shoes, if only to humour him. Ethan was nothing but a sweetheart, this was the least she could do. She put them on only with some slight struggle. She once again reached his height, almost amused by the feeling of seeing eye-to-eye with him, but the shoes felt strange. Very far removed from the usual flats, sneakers, boots, or whatever other pair that would allow her to keep running around all day without regretting it in the evening.

“Do I look silly?”

“You look gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous.” His voice had the most earnest tone to it and it was only supported by the way he studied her, looking her up and down. “Maybe walk a few steps to see if you can get used to it.”

She laughed as she proceeded to strut and partially dance some steps down the aisle to the song playing in the store. “I haven’t worn heels in so long, still got it though!”.” Her small smile grew into a grin, rather proud of herself for still being able to keep up. Going to the mirror near Ethan she looked at the shoes, then at herself in the shoes, then back at Ethan. Still, the insecurity took over for a moment. Her voice seemed small when she asked, “You think so?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you like that,” he replied, putting a hand over his heart for emphasis. “Want to go and see what the others think? I saw Thomas over there, and Vic and Dami disappeared into that corner a while ago.”

“Right, good idea.” She walked over to the dressing room looking for Damiano and Victoria, figuring they had gone to try on some things. Well, she was mainly looking for Victoria, still uncomfortable at the thought of facing the singer. She was in the middle of calling out for them when Damiano’s voice seeped through the curtain instead. She didn’t mean to listen, only to wait for him to stop so she could interrupt, but the second she realised what he was saying she wished she had never come over.

“Hell, she wakes me up every morning! I can’t escape. She is everywhere I go! I turn a corner and she is there. She's the one we go to when wanting to eat, she arranges the cars, she helps us with concerts, she’s doing everything all the time. I don’t know how much more I can take!”

She stepped back. Frozen in place. Her heart was beating out of her chest, hurting, aching, breaking just that little bit. Processing what he had said seemed to happen not at all and then suddenly all at once. She couldn’t breathe. She needed air. Anything but this suffocation. She needed to leave.

“I need some air.”

The words came out of her mouth much louder than anticipated, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care that people were looking at her now. She didn’t care that was still wearing a pair of shoes that she had definitely not paid for yet. She just needed out, out, out, and away from all this. From him.

She didn’t realise she was walking on cobblestone until she wasn’t anymore, her ankle giving way, arms desperately trying to keep her from falling as she stumbled.

***

Damiano and Victoria stopped in their tracks as they heard someone approach from outside of the dressing room. Both heads turned towards the sound, when Y/n’s voice came through, telling maybe no one in particular that she needed some air. Her voice sounded strange. Damiano was convinced he had never heard that particular tone in it. As he threw back the curtain, he saw her stumble outside, clearly hectic, and he could feel a surge of panic run through him. Something wasn't right here. He forgot all about the conversation he was having, all about Victoria, and made his way outside. Not quite running, but the worry had him out of the door quickly. His heart sank when he saw her, lying on the floor just outside of the shop, holding her arm awkwardly, some scratches already beginning to bleed a little. As she looked up at him, he could see tears pricking at her eyes.

"Fuck, are you okay? What happened? I just saw-" The look on her face - or rather, the way she turned away from him - shut him up instantly. This wasn't the time to bombard her with questions. It didn't matter anyway. Instead of bothering her further, he quickly knelt down beside her, helping her sit up in return. He was acutely aware of the way she pulled away the second he touched her skin. Like she had been burned. ´

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Sorry to ruin the shopping trip, you can go back in if you want to," she mumbled, trying to wipe some tears away but instead spreading some dirt and drying blood onto her cheek instead. Damiano wanted to touch her, clean her up, dry her tears, but the way she had pulled away a minute ago made him not want to try. The last thing he wanted to do was overwhelm her more. He watched as she pulled out her wallet, handing it to him. "Go pay for the shoes please. And stop looking at me like that, I said I’m fine."

Yet, as soon as she moved, she winced in pain, taking a deep breath before getting herself up to a standing position. He found himself holding her arm in support, but she only accepted it for as long as necessary. As he let go, she let out a small cry of pain, obviously holding her hurt wrist the wrong way.

“You’re obviously not fine,” Damiano sighed. He desperately wanted to reach out to her, but she was already in tears, turning away, and it simply didn’t seem like a sensible option. He looked around at the others as they gathered around Y/n. Only Thomas was missing, probably still blissfully unaware inside the shop and browsing for clothes. He tossed the wallet to Ethan. “Would you mind paying for her shoes real quick?” Ethan nodded, walking back into the store. Y/n was still standing between them, holding her arm close to her body in a protective gesture. Almost a similar expression to the one she had had on her face on the plane all those days ago. He wondered if something was scaring her the way the turbulence did back then.

“I am and will be fine, Damiano.” Her voice was stern. “I cry at a lot of things, this is no different. I wrap it up, put ice on it for a while and I’m golden.”

He watched as Victoria put a tentative hand on Y/n’s shoulder. She didn’t pull away from her touch, he noticed. “Y/n, that really doesn’t look like nothing. Look, it’s starting to swell up already.”

"What do you want me to do then?" She almost sounded resigned now as she looked back and forth between Damiano and Victoria. "We are in Amsterdam. I don't exactly have a GP on speed dial here. Now, where is Ethan with my wallet?"

She started walking towards the door of the shop, but Damiano defiantly held out his arm to stop her. "We are taking you to A&E."

Her face seemed to drain of all colour, and this time it was not because of the pain. "You are not taking me to a hospital."

Damiano looked at her, determination in his eyes, trying to make her understand that this was non-negotiable. Just for now, he would forget about the way she was brushing him off, the way she was evading his touch, the way she did not even want to look at him. Because right now she needed him and he would be there for her, if she wanted him to be or not.

"Yes, I am. Final decision. You would do the same for us if we got hurt. But we're responsible for you too, you're part of our crew, and right now, being responsible means getting this checked out. Besides, you're not getting your wallet back until you agree."

As soon as Ethan stepped outside again, this time with a slightly confused-looking Thomas in tow, Damiano snatched the wallet from his hands only to put it in his own jeans pocket. She was mad, obviously turning whatever was bothering her into anger, but Damiano was having none of it and he hoped the look in his eyes told her so.

"Fine! Take me to the hospital. But know that I am not happy about this."

"I don't need you to be. I just need you to come with me."

***

A quick refresher of her rudimentary Dutch verified that she was indeed looking for "spoedeisende hulp", another search on the internet confirmed that there was a hospital nearby, and before she knew it, she had been whisked into a taxi with Damiano. The others had decided to make their way back to the hotel, no point in clogging up the waiting room. Damiano promised to call with any news immediately.

Y/n wouldn't tell him, certainly not right then and there but she was happy that Damiano seemed to take the lead for once. She wouldn't have had any problems had any of the others needed medical help - but having people fuss about her? Making her the center of attention in a way she did not intend to be and having to accept help from others?... It was a completely different story. Still she appreciated the way he handled the situation, making sure she got registered with the administration straight away, listening attentively for further instructions, and leading her into the waiting area. She was also glad that it seemed to be quiet, not only because it would result in less of a wait, but also because the bustling would have made her all the more nervous.

This was out of her comfort zone. She had managed to avoid hospitals for the majority of her life, and yet here she was, because she panicked and couldn't handle her shoes. Looking down at them, she wanted to curse them. Curse the fact that they made her walk over to Damiano and Victoria in the first place, curse the fact that she had heard Damiano speak about her that way, curse the fact that they carried her out the door but not much further. She didn't even know where her actual shoes were. Hopefully, Ethan had kept his head and collected them on the way out after paying.

A few seats down, someone coughed loudly, reminding her exactly of where she was. It wasn't the worst hospital she had ever been in, that much was true, but she would rather not see one from the inside at all. She was dying for some comfort, some soothing words, a gentle touch, but as soon as Damiano made any attempt at reaching out to her she pulled back. His words were still heavily playing on her mind, the swelling of her wrist and the heat that seemed to seep from it a painful reminder. There was no way she was going to let herself fall, be reassured and consoled by him when he was so obviously sick of her presence. She wouldn't do that to either of them. Victoria with all her good intentions be damned. At least right now.

“Why are they not calling you in, it doesn’t even look like they’re doing anything,” Damiano grumbled next to her, eyes on the nurse’s station where a few of them were sitting. A few eyes were on them, something that looked like an excited discussion.

“Stop it, I’m sure they’re busy at work. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean they aren’t”, she bit back, slightly harsher than intended. He shot her a look, eyebrows raised, but she turned away, not looking to have a deeper conversation.

It left Damiano sitting in silence. Leaving both of them in the same situation, again. Y/n and him alone. Well, alone enough. Alone enough to not have anyone distract her from the uncomfortable feeling that settled over them. No Thomas being silly, no Victoria making a dumb comment, no calming presence of Ethan. Through this whole process, Y/n had basically crawled back into herself. She wished she could disappear.

She didn't know how much time had passed when they were finally called, too preoccupied with her own thoughts and the pain in her wrist. The nurse that beckoned them over had the warmest smile on her face, albeit tired eyes and it surprised Y/n how much comfort she found in the soft expression of the woman. White slacks, rolled up sleeves, pockets so full it looked like they were bursting at the seams, dark hair up in a bun. She found herself looking over at Damiano, wondering if he was aware of how gorgeous this woman was, how kind and calming her aura was, but his eyes were trained solely on her. She didn't allow herself to get lost in his gaze, quickly dropping hers and following the nurse into an examination room.

“Hi, I’m Ana, I’m going to be your nurse for today. You only speak English, am I correct?” She asked, gesturing for both of them to sit down, Y/n on the examination table and Damiano on a chair next to it. There was a slight twinge of an accent in her speech, but it was clear that she was fluent, which was a relief. Y/n didn’t even want to think about trying to get this done with the few words she knew in Dutch. She nodded, gratefully. “We’re going to go over what happened, and then I’ll do a physical examination, and the doctor will see you after as well.”

Y/n watched as the nurse fumbled with the computer, seemingly already typing things before Y/n had even said anything. “So, what exactly happened?”

“I, uh, tried on some heels and tripped on the cobblestone outside,” Y/n explained, taking a moment to glare at the offending shoes still on her feet. “Fell forwards, tried to soften the blow with my hands and now my wrist looks like this.” She held up the offending arm, gathering that the sight would speak for itself. The dried blood of the little scrapes on the palms of her hand did its best to make it look more dramatic than it felt.

“Oh, yeah that looks quite painful,” the nurse winced. “I see you’ve scraped your knee as well.”

Y/n looked down, slightly confused, only to realise her jeans had torn, revealing a beat-up knee underneath. Crap, she hadn’t even noticed, too occupied with… well, everything else. This felt like it was getting worse by the second, she never wanted to get back to a hotel room this badly. She felt like crying, but letting Damiano see her composure waver was the last thing she would allow.

“It’s nothing,” she sighed, moving her legs as if it gave her a chance of hiding her bruises.

“It’s not nothing, Y/n,” Damiano sighed next to her, before turning towards the nurse. “I think it’s more serious than she’s letting on.” In the same determined tone from before.

The nurse looked back and forth between the two of them. “It’s probably the shock of it.”

Oh yeah, the shock. Mainly that of finding out that Damiano didn’t want her around, apparently.

The nurse asked a few more questions, time of the accident, previous medical history, medication she was taking regularly, but they barely reached her. She found herself answering curtly, with Damiano filling in where he could. She wouldn’t tell him she was thankful for it. Even though the idea of him taking care of her made her emotional.

“Right, let’s get that wrist looked at then.” Y/n had feared it would be painful but as soon as the nurse started handling her? She knew it was her job to feel the joints, test her range of motion, move her arm. But unwelcome tears emerged in the corners of her eyes. She didn’t have the energy to push Damiano’s hand away, as she almost reveled in the comforting touch on her back. The small talk didn’t even begin to make for a distraction. Yet, something was nagging at the back of Y/n’s head as she watched the nurse interact with Damiano. There was a familiarity in her eyes… Did she know who he was? Surely not.

“This will need an X-Ray to make sure it’s not broken,” the nurse concluded, finally letting go of her wrist. Damiano whispered a quiet ‘You okay?’ over to her, but she couldn’t do anything but nod. “I will bandage the scrapes a bit while we wait for a doctor. So, what brings you to Amsterdam today?”

“Work,” Y/n answered, trying to keep some degree of privacy, but Damiano didn’t seem to mind butting in immediately.

“I’m in a band, we’re on tour. She’s our assistant and overall angel.” She wanted to shoot him a look, both at the unnecessary honesty and the over-the-top way he was describing her, but a touch to her banged-up knee distracted her.

A doctor popped into the room quickly verified everything the nurse had told him And before she knew it she was being led down a hallway to get an X-Ray. Damiano stayed behind in the room.

“Cute couple, the two of you,” the nurse piped up next to her.

“Um, yeah, no. Not a couple. Just a working relationship.”

“You sure about that?”

Y/n almost wanted to stop dead in her tracks, ask the nurse what on earth had given her that idea, but she also knew she was here to get examined and the last thing she wanted to do was annoy the person responsible.

“Very. He doesn’t like me like that, he’s made that crystal clear.”

“Well, he certainly doesn’t look like you in a way that suggests he doesn’t like you. If anything, I would have guessed he was head-over-heels for you.”

Y/n was stumped for a reply. Was this woman making fun of her? She didn’t look like someone who would. So why would she say these things? With a deep sigh and a heavy heart, Y/n decided she would have to talk to Damiano at some point. Have him either stand by his statement and back off, or explain what the hell he was doing. Because she was starting to lack comprehension about any of it.

She was glad the rest of the appointment seemed to fly by in a hurry, or maybe Y/n’s brain had simply gone into power-saving mode, not really taking it what as happening around her anymore. Her exhaustion was tangible. The X-Ray was done quickly enough, someone sent her back to the examination room, and before she knew it, the doctor had announced that it was, in fact, not broken. A quick wrap around her wrist, some instructions on how to care for it (that Damiano seemed to listen to more closely than she did), and she was almost out the door. She was sure she would have fallen asleep on the examination table. It was only the nurse quickly saying her goodbye and adding another comment that almost threw her off balance again.

“Bye, guys. And by the way, nice show yesterday. I promise I wasn’t the one who threw the bra.”

***

It was dark out by the time Y/n and Damiano made it back to the hotel. He had made sure to text the others, telling them to go for dinner without them, they’d be fine, and he figured she would need some rest. The hotel restaurant was quiet enough and he motioned towards it, but Y/n shook her head.

“I’ve got a few snacks in my room, but honestly, I’m not hungry at all. I just want to go to bed.”

Yet, tired as she was, it only took one pointed look for her to shut him up, so he simply nodded and led her towards the elevators.

“At least let me bring you to your room and see if you need any more help. And I can give you your wallet back.”

He could tell in the way she stiffened next to him, the way she barely reacted to his words, that she wasn’t keen on the idea, but he wouldn’t let her get away with it. He was desperate to find out what was bothering her and why she was so distant, but he couldn’t figure it out. Was the kiss still playing on her mind? Was she uncomfortable with him? It was the last thing he wanted. He needed to show her he was willing to be there for her.

Closing the door of her room behind him, a shout rang through the room.

“These fucking things, I hate them!” She was loud and angry while trying to get her shoes off, but her voice was wavering and if he watched her in just the right light he was convinced he was seeing the beginning of tears forming in her eyes.

“Shh, shh, it’s fine,” he tried to soothe, unsure if he was going about it the wrong way, but quickly bending in front of where she was sitting on the bed. She kicked her heels once more in frustration, obviously unable to get them off with her wrist still compromised.

“Don’t shush me when it’s all your fault,” she whispered and he almost stopped dead in his tracks, but he figured she hadn’t meant for him to hear. He stayed quiet, against everything in his heart telling him to find out what she was talking about. Instead, he focused on removing her shoes, gentle touches against her bare skin. Looking up at her, he realised that she was studying him, watching his every move, and he concentrated even harder on being the perfect gentleman. Yet, when he pulled the second shoe off her, he couldn’t help letting his hand rest on her calf a little longer than necessary.

“Come on, let’s get you into some pyjamas,” he decided, getting up and putting some distance between them. Too afraid of getting ahead of himself, of letting his hands wander more than appropriate places, of saying something he shouldn’t. He threw what he gathered to be her sleepwear in her general directions. “If you need any help changing because of your wrist, let me know.”

He hoped his smile was as sincere as he meant it. Either way, she didn’t give him much of a reaction, grabbing the clothes and disappearing into the bathroom. A few sharp hisses reached him through the door, but he knew better than to offer his help again.

He wasn’t sure what the acceptable place for him to sit was, but since the room didn’t offer anything but a worn-out armchair and the bed, he decided that choosing the far side of the mattress wasn’t too bad. He didn’t even realise she had left the en-suite until her voice reached him.

“We really need to talk, Damiano.” She sounded resigned and tired and he wished he could wrap her in his arms and tell her everything was alright, but it didn’t seem like the right time. As soon as she reached the side of the bed opposite him, she all but collapsed on it. She sleepily grabbed one of the many unnecessary hotel pillows they placed on the bed and nuzzled her face into it.

“There will be more than enough time for that tomorrow,” he replied, grabbing the blanket and making sure she was fully covered by it. “It’s been a long day, try to get some rest.”

She didn’t even manage to argue anymore, eyes already fluttering closed, breathing slowly becoming more steady. She was gorgeous like this. A soft calm overtaking the scene. No wall up that kept everyone else from her inner thoughts. No front that she put up in desperate attempts to remain professional. Just a softness etched into her features that highlighted her natural divine beauty.

He wanted to take her worries away. He hoped that whenever they did get to talk tomorrow, it would yield some clarity. The last thing he wanted was for her to ever feel this way. He had grown so attached to her, so obsessed with the idea of having her around, that he already feared the end of the tour. If she would give him any option to stay in her life, he would take it, whatever way it was.

Damiano barely noticed the way he was slipping down on the mattress, his fingers softly patting her head, eyelids getting heavy. The last thing on his mind was Y/n, sleeping soundly next to him and wishing for nothing but to make her happy.

***

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