#the banduckoot speaks

[banduckoot]

I know you don't have to play a Crash Bandicoot game perfectly. I know. But... I see so many players trying to smash every crate, do every level perfectly... and my anxiety flares up. I can't just sit and enjoy the games, I have to do it right the FIRST TIME. And then I can't and then I'm like... the GAMES ARE HARD AND I SUCK. I'm scared of playing and losing and getting frustrated to the point I might break something.

I love video games, I love Crash, but the only Crash games that don't give me rage are Crash of the Titans, Crash Mind Over Mutant, Crash Team Racing, Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled... and possibly Crash Team Rumble, but only because I haven't really touched that one.

A lot of it is having anxiety when it comes to playing video games. I love Crash and Cortex and all the other characters, but I am such an anxious wimp I can't get gud

[banduckoot]

HOLY FUCK I HAVE OVER 400 FOLLOWERS ON THIS BLOG ARE YOU KIDDING ME

YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING HELLO HI

UH

THANK YOU GUYS FOR STICKING AROUND EVEN WHEN I DON'T UPDATE MUCH

I APPRECIATE IT

[banduckoot]

I bought this figure of Cortex on eBay today:

Let's see if it actually shows up to my door! I've had some... interesting luck with items online lately. So we'll see what happens. If I get this figure within the next couple of weeks, I'll post a photo.

[banduckoot]

I was 11 years old when Crash Bandicoot first released on the PS1. I only ever played the first game back then. I didn't think much of Cortex then. He was just an ugly villain who was loud and scary.

Holy moly, young me would not be prepared when Twinsanity came out years later, and my friend, @cammiluna , got me into it... that was the game that made me fall in love with the man.

It's mostly my love for Cortex that drives my love for the Crash franchise. Don't get me wrong, I'm very fond of all the characters! But let's be real, Cortex is just as important to the Crash franchise as Crash himself. Yes, there have been Crash games without Cortex, but... come on. An egg 🥚 is not a replacement for cheese 🧀

[banduckoot]

BLAZE IT

[banduckoot]

Not me reblogging cat photos to the wrong blog. It will probably happen again.

[banduckoot]

caddicarus voice bbbbbbandicoot

Fun fact: Caddicarus and I share the same birthday, June 19th!

I was celebrating my ninth birthday when Caddicarus was born. I am such an old lady!

Fun fact #2: Garfield the cat was also a June 19th baby, and he's even older than I am! Caddicarus and I are in good company!

P.S. Sorry for taking so long to respond to this, I really had no idea how to respond until now aside giggling to myself like an idiot.

[banduckoot]

Hi, do u have any headcanons on the N Team having a kid with their s/o?

You sent me this 2 years ago, but someone sent a similar ask 3 years ago... and now I answered it, so...

I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

[banduckoot]

I own Crash Team Rumble, and I've tried playing it...

Unfortunately, not only do I suck tremendously at it and have never won a single practice game, I'm too much of a coward to interact with other players in a real game.

Multiplayer online games are generally NOT my style if I'm forced to team up with other players. Not only am I not a team player in the slightest, but I have extreme social anxiety and have trouble communicating. I get TERRIFIED that I'll do a bad job and get yelled at. And to top it all off, I have general anxiety with video games in general; I'm constantly fearing a game over from "playing them wrong". I have a big fear of failure with video games, something I've dealt with since childhood. I'm only partially over it.

Look, I know Rumble doesn't have voice chat, so that's some worry gone, but I don't even want so much as an angry note from someone. My anxiety is so bad that I physically cannot handle that crap.

I wish I never asked for this game for my birthday...

I'd ask someone to play with me - I have friends who would do so - but I don't want to be a bother to them.

Yeah, being neurodivergent is a hecking challenge

[banduckoot]

So, for my birthday one year, my dear friend Lisa paid Lex Lang to make a Cameo video of Dr. Cortex wishing me a happy birthday... and...

Well, let's just say it's no secret that I have a die-hard crush on Cortex and have expressed interest in marrying him in the past.

That being said... anyone interested in seeing this video? Just let me know, and I'll upload it here!

[banduckoot]

I really couldn't help but make Nina's mom super gorgeous, even after I said her old design was too pretty.

UGH I LIKE PRETTY WOMEN WAY TOO MUCH, I'M SORRY

I'M WAY TOO FREAKIN' GAY FOR THIS

[banduckoot]

Dear Dr. Neo Cortex,

You are the extra butter in my buttered noodles. You are the salmon in my sushi roll. You are the yellow cheese on my cheeseburger. So, even if it wasn't a marriage proposal you made years ago, I'm still honored that you asked me to be your Sandwich Maker and Crystal Counter.

It took me a long time to make an official response because frankly, I'm still reeling! Getting a message from you and Lex Lang was one of the best presents I could have ever received! But my blown mind has (mostly) recovered, so allow me to give my formal answer to your "proposal":

YES!!!

My dear doctor... the fact a villain like you trusts me not to taint your food, or to steal any crystals, means so much to me. Truly, I'm honored. You're a villain, plus you generally hate most people, so... even if you don't think of me very much, it's nice to know there's some truth to your kind words towards me, and that you weren't just trying to butter me up.

In all seriousness, though: thank you so much for the birthday wishes. There's many things I like about you, Dr. Cortex, even love, but the one thing about you I love the most is how ridiculously happy you make me just because you exist.

tl;dr-- YOU ARE BABYGIRL AF!!!

With all of my heart,

Melissa~ <3

[banduckoot]

I tried editing one of my older posts on this blog so that it would be rated a "mature" post, but Tumblr won't let me do it for some reason. Is anyone else experiencing similar issues with their older posts? Like, I saw at least one person complain about not being able to edit tags.

[banduckoot]

Super glad you are back posting headcannons again and want to expand on stuff like Nastia. Even if you never write a full on multi-chapter fan fic I still love to hear your ideas and ramblings 😁 (btw I loved your little flashback of Neo and Nastia at the academy of evil 🥰)

Aw, thank you. Admittedly, I still have other asks concerning headcanons I need to answer after all this time, but I'll get to them soon enough. I have to be in a certain headspace to write headcanons, you know? I haven't been in the greatest headspace for Crash headcanons for a while.

I'm glad my ramblings are enough to satisfy, though I do wish I had more energy to write actual fanfiction. The problem is, I have executive dysfunction, plus I suffer from constant burnout. The inspiration is there, but the motivation is not. Rambling about my ideas is the only way I can ever seem to get them out.

If I had money, I'd PAY someone to write fanfiction for me based on my ideas. Sadly, I doubt that'll ever be a reality. Oh well.

I'm glad you liked my chat post about young Cortex and Nastia! I had a lot of fun writing it. See, dialogue is pretty easy for me to write. The characters are very alive in my head. It's narrative that sucks the energy out of me! Writing is hard, man! I'm told I'm good at it, but it's still challenging!

[banduckoot]

Ooh! I'm definitely gonna check out these songs! I don't think I've heard of most of these...

I felt like sharing a playlist I made about N. Brio that's still a work in progress:

N. Brio's Playlist That He Invented

Monster - Skillet

Weird Science - Oingo Boingo

Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears For Fears

Eye of the Tiger - Survivor

The Lonely Man Theme - Joe Harnell (The Incredible Hulk television series)

Mad World - Gary Jules, Michael Andrews

The Sound of Silence (Acoustic Version) - Simon & Garfunkel

Bring Me To Life - Evanescence

Don't You (Forget About Me) - Simple Minds

Should I Stay or Should I Go (Remastered) - The Clash

Strong Enough - Cher

Science Fiction/Double Feature - Richard O'Brien (Rocky Horror Picture Show)

Feed My Frankenstein - Alice Cooper

Survivor - Destiny's Child

Strange Brew - Cream

If anyone can recommend a song that reminds them of N. Brio that I can add to this list, do let me know!

EDIT: Removed one song from the playlist because after re-listening to it, I discovered there was a slur in it. WHOOPS. Sorry about that, folks.

[banduckoot]

I have four asks in my inbox for this blog. Three asks have been waiting for over a year. The fourth one has been waiting nine months.

I am an ADHD-riddled procrastinator who's been obsessing over Five Nights at Freddy's since last December. I have no excuse for putting off answering asks, and I deeply apologize.

Although, there is one other reason I haven't been in much of a Crash mood. To be honest, as much as I love Cortex, and Crash in general, the Crash fandom is kinda... well, let's just say the way certain fans have been behaving have been turning me off. Mostly shit I've seen on Twitter.

I'm praying I get back in the mood, because some of my past headcanons are ones I no longer vibe with, and I'd love to re-write a bunch. Plus, I like coming up with new ones. But it's hard to come up with anything when I'm honestly a bit scared of interacting with the fanbase at large nowadays.

I'm happy that so many people have found this blog entertaining, even though I rarely post anymore. I'm sorry for not responding to you, or giving you more content. I'm just not feeling it right now. I hope you can all remain patient with me. If you can't, I understand.

Here's hoping I find my muse again soon.