#the bad thing is that i work. a lot. this coming week
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sbuttnutt · 6 hours ago
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Some things to remember with Plan B, progestin-only pills, and other emergency contraceptives:
- Plan B is less effective if you're over 150 lbs. Some sources say that taking two increases effectiveness over that weight.
- Plan B HAS to be taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex, and the earlier its taken the better. Stock up if you can!
-Plan B prevents ovulation, and it's not going to work if you've already ovulated for the month. Only take 1 per menstrual cycle.
- Even if you haven't ovulated, it's still not 100%, so always take a pregnancy about 2 weeks after unprotected sex.
-PLAN B IS NOT AN ABORTION!! Again, it just prevents ovulation, it will not harm an existing pregnancy.
-Progestin only birth control pills HAVE to be taken at the same time every day, otherwise the effectiveness decreases considerably.
-There are NO "PLACEBO DAYS" with progestin based birth control pills!
- Combined pills (which is what most people are familiar with: estrogen and progestin) come with a week of sugar pills that people can take to maintain the habit. That's when you get your period. With combined pills it's possible to just not take those pills or start a new pack instead of taking them to skip a period. That is NOT POSSIBLE with progestin pills. You have to take EVERY PILL IN THE PACK!!
-Progestin based methods (progestin pill, Nexplanon, IUD, Depo) can sometimes be better if you have intense migraines (especially with an aura) than estrogen/combined methods (combined pill, patch, nuvaring)
-Medication doesn't quite expire the same way that food does. Anyone with more pharmaceutical knowledge feel free to expand/correct me, but if your only options are to take an expired Plan B or don't take one at all, take the Plan B. OBVIOUSLY, TALK TO A DOCTOR OR PHARMACIST BEFORE YOU DO THIS!! Taking expired meds should be an absolute EMERGENCY LAST RESORT OPTION!!
- If you have health insurance and you're able to go to a doctor/urgent care, see if you can get a prescription for Ella. It's another type of emergency contraceptive (like Plan B) but it's more effective, more consistent, has a higher weight limit, and can be safely taken up to 96 hours after unprotected sex (5 days). However, it's prescription only. See if your provider will put in refills so you can easily and quickly pick it up from a pharmacy if you need another in the future.
-Plan B can also be written as a prescription, therefore covered by insurance! For example, in Colorado, Medicaid will cover the cost of Plan B completely if it's written as a prescription, talk to a pharmacist or your doctor about it!
-Some IUDs can be used as emergency contraception as well as long as they're placed within 96 hours of unprotected sex! In those instances they are over 99% effective as emergency contraception, and you can keep it in to continue to avoid pregnancy for 7-12 years. NOTE: this is ONLY the Paragard (copper, non-hormonal, and good for 10-12 years) and the Mirena/Liletta (hormonal, good for 7-8 years.)
- If nothing else works, use condoms or the pull out method!! It's not 100%, but it's WAYYY better than nothing!
There's obviously so much more to be said about birth control and emergency contraceptives. Please please PLEASE, if you can get pregnant and don't want to, go to a Planned Parenthood, OBGYN, urgent care, primary care physician, or even your pharmacist and create a birth control plan. A lot of pharmacies will have a telehealth program that's very cheap and easy to get prescriptions, and will even provide discount codes for medication if you don't have insurance. With a GoodRX coupon, common birth control pills are like $10 a month, sometimes even cheaper.
There are no morals attached to getting an abortion. As someone who has worked directly with patients in abortion care for over 3 years, I promise you that you are not a bad person if you need one. Many people do, it's a fact of life. But for the majority of people, it is much cheaper and easier to come up with contraceptive plan first.
You don't HAVE to use hormonal birth control, but take some time to come up with a plan! I promise it'll make your life much simpler in the long run.
(PS: There is, of course, much more nuance to this than I've addressed. Not everyone can take hormonal birth control, but if you're in the US or somewhere else that severely limits abortion, it is YOUR responsibility to come up with a contraceptive plan. There are tons of non-hormonal options, and honestly some of them really suck, but they're ALL better at preventing pregnancy than no contraception at all.)
Plan B has a shelf life of 4 years
Plan B has a shelf life of 4 years
Plan B has a shelf life of 4 years
Plan B has a shelf life of 4 years
Plan B has a shelf life of 4 years
Plan B has a shelf life of 4 years
Plan B has a shelf life of 4 years
Plan B has a shelf life of 4 years
Plan B has a shelf life of 4 years
(Also, you can get 4 months of over the counter birth control (progestin-only pill form) at Costco for $50. Or 3 months on Amazon for about $45.)
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bunnys-kisses · 1 day ago
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。゚•┈꒰ა a butcher au - max verstappen ໒꒱┈• 。゚
max could've been a lot of things. but he was very good at cutting meat. those curious blue eyes didn't flinch at the sight of guts and blood. he simply worked and he in turn lived a happy life. in a way it got certain frustrations out, that he was never a good driver. when he craved up meat for sale at the small shop he worked at, in the apron and heavy gloves, he liked that no one recognized him. the weight of expectations didn't fall to heavily, instead he got thanks yous and no one praying for his downfall. he did have favorite customers though. the old nonnas who came in who were very particular, but always left heavy handfuls of change in the glass tip jar. the love sick man trying to win of a new woman of the week with his attempt at fine dining. and you.
you had lived out in the small town near the italian and french border for a few months now. an aunt of yours had died almost a year ago and you get saddled with the small property she owned. you took it as a chance to go somewhere else, having lived in the bustling city in another part of the world. so, the small town life was nice. and every week you'd come in and see max. he was always happy to see you. he'd often say to you, "i think i have something better in the back." before he flashed you a smile and headed to find a better cut.
he liked you, there a fondness he carried for you. you were just very polite and sweet. your grasp on both italian and french was a little rusty, but max was helpful as he wrapped up your order and told you to have a nice day. over the months you became comfortably familiar.
while max was comfortable at a distance, he was surprised when he heard your voice from the front. he looked down at himself, elbow deep in an animal all morning... staining the front of the apron and the gloves he wore. there was even specs who knew what on his upper forearms. "shit." he sighed to himself. he knew that his job required getting a little dirty, but he didn't want the beautiful woman who came in every week to see him look like a serial killer. he quickly took off the apron and gloves (even attempting to pick the dried blood off his arms) before he went to see you. you were at the front with other groceries in hand. you were just in yesterday. he looked at you with a little confusion. and you simply smiled. you placed two sunflowers wrapped in last weeks newspaper on the counter near the cash register.
you couldn't look him in the eyes when you asked him, "i couldn't wait for you to make the first mood, max. but... would you like to have dinner with me?"
max picked up the flowers, they looked beautiful even in the somewhat bad lighting of the butcher shop. he looked to you, your smile had dropped and you looked nervous. while max was wrapped up in receiving flowers and your request, he realized he hadn't said anything. he put the flowers down and took you by the hands across the counter and said, "yes! of course!"
you ended up having dinner with max at your home a few nights later. you two had been texting over the course of those days. and while he found himself comfortable messaging you. being in your home felt nerve wracking, he hadn't been on a date since he left his home town after he turned eighteen. but, you looked beautiful in the kitchen. making sure that everything was perfect for dinner. occasionally his eyes would scan over your form as you worked in the kitchen. you seemed to natural there. the way you prepared the sausages in the pan (the ones he sold you days prior) made max feel more at ease. there was a joke there about you knowing how to prepare meats. while most of the time he simply ate vegetables when he got home, after being around cut up animals for hours on end made him want to eat a stalk of celery by the time he got home. but to see someone so beautiful work a kitchen marvelously and the end result being something so beautiful.
"i made these rolls earlier today." you said as you brought the bowl with some on there, "i'm not the best baker ever. i'm pretty sure i can't compete with the place a few doors down from you." you laughed as you turned back to around to grab the pot of stew that you finished.
max eyed you behind as you walked away and was already in love.
you returned with dinner in hand, oven mitts protecting your hands from the hot surface of the pot. it smelled good. it smelt like home. and it made max feel warm all over as if his body wasn't heated from the warm summer night. you smiled when you sat across from him then clinked your wine glass with his, "to the first date in a long time." and max took a sip, he got lost in your eyes for a moment. and there was little room for dessert when you pulled max into the bedroom. the bed frame creaked as he was almost pushed onto it. you stood in front of him and he wrapped his strong arms around you then kissed at your clothed middle.
the clothes came off and he saw you eye his chest for a moment. he almost wanted to recoil a little from the attention. he wasn't built like a statue. he was strong for years of lifting things around the shop and walking to and from home every morning. but before he could say anything or move, you ran your hands down his chest. feeling his soft skin under your palms then said, "holy shit, this is what's been hiding under those aprons you wear." he looked away for a moment felt heat in his cheeks before you pulled him by his chin into a heated kiss.
you got max onto your back and straddled his waist. you watched him swallow before you kissed him along the neck and collarbones. your rubbed yourself up against his abdomen and shuddered from the stimulation of your clit. max clutched onto the covers under him and you went in for another searing kiss. it was perfect, you were perfect. your movements were slow, feeling him up against you. it was teasing for both of you until you got yourself seated on his cock. which made him tense up and feel a flare of his across his body. your hands on his strong shoulders for leverage as you moved up and down. max shuddered and his swallowed hard, "shit. please." he said as you moved against him. you replied, "you feel so good. i'm surprised no one else has tried to pick you up in town." you giggled, the heat in your cheeks was heavy. he simply held onto your hips and started to work alongside you, letting the pleasure bubble up, "i get nonnas and their granddaughters visiting from overseas. usually they are too scared to talk to me. or i'm too scared to talk to them. they see the blood or the animal in the back and get scared." maybe it wasn't polite to talk about work while he was fucking you, but you didn't seem to complain. he found that you didn't flinch at how the sausages were made in the shop. he clutched further onto your soft hips. his hands were used daily for taking apart the meats that arrived. he was usually in the back carving like he was making a masterpiece. the anatomy of the beast burned into his head. but while he held you, his touch was full of tenderness.
he wasn't trying to carve himself into your skin, he wanted to make you feel good. he wanted to be good in your world, and as sweet moans left your lips he knew that he was doing just that. he looked up at you with those blue eyes, the pupils a little wider from the heat in his body. the euphoria that was a drum in his chest as he continued to meet your pace. he then added, "plus, now i have no reason to talk to them. not when i have you." you blushed a little bit, looking away for a moment as he did earlier before you leaned in and kissed him on the lips. your hands splayed across his chest as you worked along his cock. up and down as a fire burned in your belly.
you two kissed once more as you pace started to stagger. you felt the heat become fuel in your blood as you worked his cock. he felt like a dream, an utter euphoria that you couldn't put into words. you had been with others before. but in the low light of the home you now owned with a man you met by chance while living in this small town. there was a certain niceness to it. a comfort you longed for while stuck on packed buses or falling asleep during meetings on a year prior. in the warm heat of the summer, you felt good as you moved against him. so long tinder, so long bumble, you met the man of your dreams while he was covered in blood, whose hands worked diligently every day to deliver the finest cuts of meat. not only to you but to large portions of the town. maybe it was love right off the bat, regardless you felt a warmth in your chest for him.
you kissed once more as you both loss the rhythm, soon you finished with a moan against his lips and he followed soon after. he clutched onto your hips tightly as you continued to thrust on top of him. eventually the pleasure flooded your brain and you slowed down to a stop. the kiss was broken and you both panted heavily. max cupped your face for a moment ans said something you couldn't quite pick up, but you responded with, "right back at ya." between heavy pants. and max knew it was love.
you soon laid in bed with the butcher, curled up against him. both feeling the after shivers of climax. you felt comfortable in the crook of his shoulder and your face up against his softer chest. you could tell he was strong, but wasn't opposed to homemade cooking.
he lazily took your hand in his other one and kissed across the knuckle. he sighed against your fingers, rubbing them up against his cheek soon after, "if this is a ploy to get a discount
you looked at him and chuckled, "damn, my plan is ruined."
he chuckled, "i'll need a few more homemade meals before i can do that. don't want the little nonnas to think they can seduce me into better prices." then kissed your hands once more.
you sighed and pressed further into him, feeling a sense of comfort in his arms, "next time i'll bring more than flowers."
he simply laughed, but in the back of his mind he thought, don't bring me a ring. that's my job. and maybe it was a little bit too soon to jump to that next step. but, as he held you in his arms it felt like a perfect piece. he wouldn't mind giving you discounts, of course if you were married then it would be free. but as he kissed the top of your head and heard your breathing level out and eventually fall asleep, it felt nice. it felt like home.
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biteyoubiteme · 3 days ago
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okay okay okay!!
txt vs no nut november! and maybe single / with a partner and regular sex life
like, would / wouldn't participate (and why), how long it would take for them to lose (if lose at all, I look at you taehyun), why they would lose (idek, forgot, were too stressed, too horny, etc)
would there be a member who would be like "I'll cum at 0:01, november the first, and will enjoy the whole month looking at you all suffer, losers"?
ahhhh now I think of requesting yeonkai x reader about nnn...
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txt v. no nut november
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warnings: 🔞!!! gn!reader, mentions of masturbation/sex, cockwarming, edging, prob forgot some sorry
wc: 0.7k total
an: hiiii @apeachty you're my favorite because you can read my mind on exactly what I want to write next lol I don't know if I got everything you asked for but I hope you enjoy!
[m.list] [1kevent m.list]
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taehyun .ᐟ
if you didn't think taehyun was winning I don't know what you're on but it's just known that he would hold out the longest. If he did lose it was because the clocks had just turned to midnight when he finished effectively ending his need to even participate in a game he knows is arbitrary. This does not mean that he doesn't still try because he loves a challenge. Will spend more time in the gym because of it but he will never complain. The guys will make fun of him saying he's not even in the game anymore seeing as he failed first, will actually go on into the first week of December just to prove a point.
beomgyu .ᐟ
Now I don't think beomgyu is very competitive about most things and if he is it's only because of teasing and needing to prove people wrong. But November is his time to shine. He will actively encourage the other’s partners to tease the boys just so that he can ‘win’ the bet. Will make it through the month but the end is an absolute struggle, suddenly he's getting boners left and right like he's a teenager again. The last day of November is the day he breaks. Technically all the other boys have already lost if you look past taehyun going past November. This is his excuse and doesn't even make it through the morning before he's cumming. By the end of the day, he is three orgasms down and doesn't even care about winning the title besides the fact he can joke about it until next year.
yeonjun .ᐟ
He tries so hard and wants to beat beomgyu because he is his only real competition. Actually masturbates a lot and just edges himself because he likes teasing and the ache it gives him. Avoiding his partner as if that will help anything, his imagination is just well enough. Only makes it a little more than halfway through the month before he's given up. He's not able to stay away from his partner and needs them too much to stop himself. Although he tries to just edge himself again, cockwarming only works until he's absentmindedly thrusting, cursing when he accidentally finishes. Just shrugs and goes another round this time without even feeling sorry. 
kai .ᐟ
Doesn't even remember that he's not supposed to be having sex, and doubly doesn't remember not to cum. He lasts a few days max and only because hadn't been near his partner. But as soon as they come near he's a needy mess, begging to get off because he just missed them so much. Remembers the last second about the group chat and the threats of having to pay for everyone's dinner if he's first to lose. Feels like a failure for only a second before shrugging just glad he doesn't have to worry about it anymore. Promises to win next year even if it's the last thing he does.
soobin .ᐟ
Talks big talk about winning but forgets exactly how often he finishes in a month. Will put himself into a bad mood and it's only been a few hours into November 1st. Has to avoid opening certain apps because he knows his feed will be evil and show him exactly what he wants to see but can't use to get him off. Surprises himself by even making it through the day only not really because he's got his hand down his pants only an hour before midnight. Cums multiple times and doesn't even bring it up that he's lost, actually lies about still holding out until he confesses to Kai that he too did not last long at all. “No, it was actually torture, the only thing I could think about was getting off and wondering exactly where you guys would pick to eat and if it would be that crazy to just send my card info in the chat to get it over with,” 
He and Taehyun have a full back-and-forth that lasts longer than it should about who should give their card to the waiter. The very serious debate ends after the laughter from the other boys is so loud people are looking their way. Soobin grumbles as he pays but knows it's only fair because he technically did lose first. He also knows that he was only a minute shy of actually finishing at midnight before the day even started for their competition and would have ended up paying anyway because unlike taehyun he would not have just continued the competition but would have just given up without even trying. 
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taglist 🏷: @kissmekissykissme @bts-txt-ateez @apeachty want to be added to the taglist? check out my rules to see how to join! want to be taken off the taglist? send an ask!
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alchemistc · 1 day ago
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911 was always in my periphery bc of how popular Buck x Eddie is on Tumblr and Ao3. I didn't really want to watch a cable network procedural drama, especially one that came off as so unserious. I could also see how such invested shipping by a lot of fans who are young and think it’s ok to demand things from the cast and crew would inevitably become a toxic cesspool. I stand by that assessment of the show based on the behavior of the fandom these last months, as well as the overall quality of the writing and how often good story lines just get dropped or undermined.
However, I heard about Buck coming out. Over the summer, I was going through a lot and feeling aimless, so I finally started watching the show. And I liked Buck and Tommy, but what I really loved was the quality of the fan works they inspired. At the end of the day, I never really had real expectations of high quality television from a show like 911; that’s not what it’s for.
Despite this, what really affected me last night—which was also the first episode I bothered watching live ever because of how terrible this last week has been—wasn’t even how badly it was executed or the fact that they broke up. But how unnecessarily and viciously cruel the whole thing felt?
What was the point of showing Tommy as a caring, supportive, present partner in the previous episode if it was going to lead to an unceremonious break up? What was the point of showing his yearning for connection and family only to see him throw it all away? Why have him say such wonderful things about Buck moments before questioning the commitment of their relationship after six months together? What was the point of Buck getting that speech from Josh and bringing up marriage and moving in together and that Tommy had been a transformative relationship when it was going to end with him being dumped? It just felt so horribly cruel to see a character bare his tender heart and see it get stomped on. He looked so sad at the end.
Up till the very end of the episode, I was actually really enjoying it. Their acting was so good from heart eyes to heartbreak, and the show seemed to understand Tommy’s reaction to Buck getting hit on by those women would cause friction. It even made sense to me that Tommy would recoil at the prospect of moving in together because Buck clearly hasn’t come to terms with being queer yet (sir, you haven’t researched the Kinsey scale? You?) And Tommy is also clearly afraid to reach for the connections he wants and the seeming inevitability of his heart being broken and is masking that with nonsense about Buck needing to play the field and the biphobia present wherein. It was such an interesting depth to his character! I thought the break up speech was so well-acted, and I was so ready for the conversation they were going to have that would address it and let them move on together stronger. To see Buck learn from Josh and see the scars Tommy was unintentionally revealing in that moment and address them.
And then the credits started rolling and I felt like I got punched in the gut.
It was definitely the straw that broke the camel’s back for me, with the election and other personal stuff really stressing me out this week. Last night, I felt sick and unable to sleep, and I spent the morning bawling my eyes out. It feels like one of the few things I really looked forward to had been snatched away for the shock factor. I believe the interviews are the definite death knell, but even if you don’t follow the interviews, it was just a cruel way to end the episode. Even if this ends up being a temporary roadblock or they “fix” it, it’ll always leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Anyway, I’m upset that I let a show I always knew wasn’t very good affect me this much, and I regret spending months of my life on it. But the reason I wanted to send this ask was because my real hyperfixation these last few months was never the show itself; it was always the Bucktommy fandom. Reading some of the most beautiful fanfiction, including yours, these deep and intense character studies or au’s or future fics that show more love to these characters than the show does. The stunning art, the lovingly rendered gifs, the startlingly funny and insightful writing. The fandom has been my real love, and I hope that despite this huge blow, people like you will continue being so immensely creative and artistic for this ship.
I’m sorry this has been so long and vent-y, but I wanted to send you this ask because you’re one of my favorite fic authors, and I’ve been following your posts since last night and you’re still responding to anonymous asks. I’ve always been stealth in the fandom to avoid certain parts of it, so didn’t want this on my own blog. If you do publish it, I hope the other authors and artists and creators who have made my life better get to see it too <3 And that they don’t regret the time and passion and love they’ve poured into the last few months. I have appreciated it, if nothing else.
Hi.
First of all, please don't apologize for the length of this.
Everything you pointed out were exactly the reasons people joined this fandom. Everything you listed here is EXACTLY the reason it left such a bad taste in our mouth.
I'm sorry I won't be more eloquent in this post, because this is such a kind and thoughtful and lovely summation of all the things I've been hearing and seeing and feeling.
The point of all that, if we are to believe Lou (which I do, and honestly props to him for being as gracious as he was in those post-mortems: fucking TWO exit interviews for a guest star? wtf abc), WAS to pull the rug out from under the audience. It WAS to end it all on a shocker of heartbreak. They filmed the bulk of Tommy's S8 scenes AFTER the breakup. It is absolutely vicious and cruel and meant to make people talk about it. The engagement they are getting right now is to some extent WHAT THEY WANTED. I went straight to my notes after work and I can't be fucked to check the insta or FB to see if they've posted anything new and/or what the comment count is on the 8x06 posts but THIS IS THE INTENDED RESULT. Broken hearts, upset people, an increasingly toxic fandom crowing.
That's where I'm at. I think that's where a lot of people have landed. And it's so disheartening to see something that really genuinely drew people in because it was handled so gently and kindly at first just be ripped away and the door shut on it.
And honestly if they close the mid season OR open or close 8B on a premise that includes one of them being injured and the other having a Realization™️ I won't trust this team to do it genuinely or truly. Even the breakup would have held so much potential for me, but not like this.
Anyway. I'm sorry you're feeling so disappointed. I am grieving the missed potential of literally every plot they built up this season for every character and if I do watch it won't be live and I will likely have very little trust for it's potential. There has been So Much wasted potential.
And I want to say thank you. Even if you lurked, even if you disengage now, the creators who made those works made them out of love and they wanted to share them and the community around it all has been lovely to see. Thank you.
Some of us will still be hanging around building the world that could have been. I hope, if you feel up to peeking at that sandbox, that you feel welcome to go play in it or even just clap from the sidelines.
♥️
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therandompagesblog · 1 day ago
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SKZ Mate Chapter 23
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Warnings: None
Two long stressful weeks had gone by and they still had not heard from the council. Two long weeks of complete utter distress for the wolves. Waiting around for an answer was nerve-wracking for them. None of them had any energy to focus or be happy. Minho had tried to push for an outcome but his friends told him they could not push anymore as the investigation went on. There were certain things they could not rush if they wanted to get it right, but if Minho or Jeongin had any more evidence that would help, the council would need it. This led to Minho having to bring Y/N to meet the council to give her statement on Ateez and her treatment. It was an uncomfortable conversation that needed to happen but the council were brutal as they probed for different invasive facts. She had to go through it twice on the same day with two separate council members. Y/N knew it was necessary but it was still traumatic for her. Even Hyunjin had to give an account on the same day. Still, all of these events happened two weeks ago and no outcome was made. It was upsetting even for Chan who spent countless nights going through different werewolf lore books, search engines, and paperwork to find a way of taking him down.
As the days went on the more uncertain the wolves felt. Changbin hadn't even gone to the gym for a week in fear that something would happen if he wasn't there. Minho didn't have the energy to cook properly and the wolves didn't have the energy to eat either. Jeongin also wasn't himself either. He too spent nights awake as he went through Y/N's notes trying to find another way if all else fails. He was getting highly stressed but he didn't want to keep asking Y/N questions in case she became worried, but it was too late. Y/N already knew. Y/N could feel it deep in the bottom of her stomach as she hugged her pillow, sniffing to herself in her bedroom all alone. Y/N knew they were not going to win. They were smarter and they were always ten steps ahead. Ateez knew everything about Chan, whether it was true or false they could make it true. Y/N hated this. Y/N needed to know the reality of it and the only one who was going to tell her was Hyunjin. He lived there with her and before her. He could provide a much better insight.
Y/N sighed and wiped her tears before heading to Hyunjin's room. She knew it was the middle of the night but she wanted to speak to him. She needed to so she made her way to his bedroom to knock on his door, but he had already opened it to allow her to walk into his room. He was sitting on his bed cross-legged waiting for her to come to him. "Come here little wolf. It's alright." Hyunjin called, beckoning her to sit on his bed so she did. She sat on his bed and fell into his arms crying. She didn't know why but she felt safe and familiar with him. She felt at home with him, despite her lack of memories, she felt loved. "I'm sorry," Y/N muttered as she wiped her tears, taking notice of his room. It was so modest but artistic. It didn't match their home at all. His room was a luxury contemporary room. Simple, yet it was him. "Hyunjin," Y/N whispered as she sat up, looking at the red-haired wolf. "What does Hongjoong have on Chan." "His uncle, his brother that died, his destruction of packs for an omega. He has a lot." Hyunjin whispered as he wiped her tears gently. He hated seeing her cry and it wasn't because she was an ugly crier, it was the fact she cried when she felt helpless. "It's not going to work is it?" Y/N whimpered. "I don't think so. In hindsight they're both as bad as each other, neither were nice to people at the beginning. Morally Chan is better. He cares about his wolves but his previous actions do not show that. Hongjoong only cares for power and doesn't care about his wolves, only Seonghwa. He loves Seonghwa." Hyunjin admitted as he stroked her hair lovingly. "What do we do? We have to win somehow!" Y/N stressed as she held his hand, playing with his veiny long fingers that wore a certain ring on his finger. "Did I give you this?" Y/N asked as she looked into his brown muddy eyes. "Hmm, you did." Hyunjin hummed as he brought his hands up to her face, brushing his thumb over his cheek. "We need to be patient. There is still time but we won't win with the council that is a fact, but we need to disarm them." "We remove the fucking circle," Y/N growled her eyes glowing blue. "Still a challenge. We would need a witch and that goes against Chan's morals. He likes to keep the peace between them. There might be a way to use his own weapon against him without using a witch but that means meddling with dark aura." Hyunjin explained causing Y/N to huff as she rested her head against his chest, breathing in his scent. This appeared to be more complicated than she thought. Hyunjin softly stroked her back, kissing her head gently before he leaned his head against hers, holding her close to him. Hyunjin was scared of letting her go, he hadn't held her in over four years and he wasn't prepared for her to leave him. Y/N lifted her head up presenting him with a small smile before she kissed him. It was an innocent kiss. One that was needed. It held so much love and care. It was a perfect kiss. "I should go check on Chan," Y/N murmured. "Yeah. You should." Hyunjin whispered as he kissed her once more before she headed to Chan who was still staring at his computer.
Chan had become fixated on protecting his pack with Jeongin. What Y/N hadn't expected was for Jeongin and Minho to be in Chan's office with a pile of books. "What is going on? Why are you all awake?" It was more of a rhetorical question but she still wanted an answer. "Channie, what has happened," Y/N asked as she pulled his hands away from his head so she could sit on his lap. Y/N pressed her forehead against his before she connected their lips. Chan kissed her back before he held her hands worriedly. "I'm sorry baby." Chan apologised, "I'm sorry because I might have to do something you're not going to like and I need you to be okay with it. I need you to know it's because I love you and there might not be another way." "What is going on?" Y/N asked, getting up slowly as she looked at the two wolves on the sofa. "Minho? Jeongin?" "The council find Chan more guilty than Hongjoong. Chan had broke several laws because he raided four werewolf packs and attacked several omegas. Who didn't die, but were harmed. Not only that Chan has two werewolves who have been cursed with dark aura." Minho spoke, his voice cold as he stared at the empty glass. "So?" Y/N asked. "If we continue this case. The council will disarm us and destroy us. Chan could be banished." Jeongin explained coldly. "Hyunjin is our liability that poses a problem. Apparently, he coerced you and brainwashed you into completing a ritual against Hongjoong, so in the eye of the council you are more in danger here than with Ateez." "That's bullshit." Y/N shoured. "Y/N." Minho warned, silencing her. "Y/N. Come here." Chan called but she wouldn't move. "Next week I am going to meet with a friend of mine of how we can take Ateez down or at least remove them. If it comes down to it, I might need to take Hongjoong out. I need you to be okay with that." "Why don't you ask Hyunjin to help you? He knows more. So do I. We don't need any more people involved." Y/N stressed. "Y/N." Minho warned again causing her to glare at him. "Be careful of your tone. We're doing our best so listen to Chan." "You don't even trust Hyunjin to help. You're keeping it from him." Y/N snarled. "Y/N!" "Fuck off, Minho, your not even an alpha," Y/N shouted. "Y/N." Chan shouted, hitting the table, and making her jump slightly. "Do not speak to him like that. He is your beta. He is an elder and knows much more than you. You are only an omega. No your place." Y/N stood there and scoffed. Only an omega, huh? That's low. She couldn't believe he said that. "Only an omega." Y/N laughed, "I know more about Hongjoong than you, but go ahead. Fuck it all up. He will KILL YOU!" Y/N left the room, slamming the door before walking into Chan's room to throw his paperwork all over the floor before stomping on it. Fucking idiots.
Taglist for the iconic readers:
@galaxy4489 @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @leezanetheofficial @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @linocz @itzreetal987 @skzdreamer13 @reallychaoticwoo @liv1sworld @upsidedownchaire @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @skzdreamer13 @reallychaoticwoo @ihttinniee @kingdomofpentagon @pixie0627 @tsunderelino @notevenheretbh1 @catlove83 @h0rnyp0t @hash2013 @hyunmikim
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burrowdarling · 5 hours ago
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Dress
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Summary: Joe begs you to join him at an event, where a dress leads to a confession of feelings. Based off of the song "Dress" by Taylor Swift
Pairings: Joe Burrow x best friend to lover!reader
Warnings: implied smut, pining, best friends to lovers
Note: Hi! I hope you're all doing okay, I know this week has been tough and long. I hope this can bring some kind of joy during a hard time. This is my first time writing based off of a song. I would love to turn this into some kind of mini series or maybe interconnected standalones. Let me know your thoughts or song suggestions, I hope you all enjoy!
Word Count: 1.9K
“Pleaseeee come with me, you owe me a favor, remember? It’ll be fun I promise”. Joe begged from his spot on the couch.
Joe had invited you out to one of the team dinner gatherings as his date, insisting that you had to come with him or he would be “too bored to function”. You tried not to place too much weight on the “date” part of the deal, knowing it would be more as friends than anything. He was putting on the whole theatrics, pouting with puppy dog eyes.
“You want me to come to the dinner that you’ve been complaining will be ‘so boring’ so I have to suffer too? I don’t hardly see how that’s comparable to the favor you did for me by taking out my recycling for me that you offered to do” you questioned, knowing full well that it wouldn’t be nearly as bad as he’s been making it out to be.
“Hey, in my defense it was a lot of boxes to carry okay? You can be my source of entertainment, I won’t be able to survive without that” he explained, falling more into the dramatics as he dropped down onto the couch behind him to really solidify his point, exhaling a big sigh as he did so. 
“I hardly doubt that Joseph, you’re being so dramatic” you said with your arms folded over your chest, not going to fold to his pleading that easy. Turning away from him as you sat across from him.
“I guess you won’t know unless you come with me then, huh” Joe said with a small pout on his lips, knowing it was the surefire way to win you over. In reality, he didn't have to even try. While Joe was your best friend, you’ve had feelings for him for a while now that have only grown with time the closer you two have gotten. Meeting back at LSU, you had so many memories together that have only made your friendship what it is today.
“C’mon, what else will it take for you to agree to go? I’ll do anything Y/N.”
Your heart rate picked up at his comment, needing to will yourself back to reality that there are so many other mundane things he could do to sweeten the deal for you. Thank god you had your back turned, able to give yourself a second to breathe. In all honesty, you would go just to spend more time with him, it was always fun to make him work for it though.
“Fine, but I won’t have anything to wear so you’re fronting my cost for a new dress” you stated turning yourself back towards him, sticking out your hand to signify the offer.
“You could’ve just asked that from the beginning. Deal” Joe agreed, returning your gesture and shaking on the deal.
______________________________________________________________
It was finally the day of the dinner, taking the day to get yourself ready with an everything shower and full skincare routine. You made a day of it, pampering yourself after you had gone out to get the perfect dress. It complimented the color of Joe’s suit perfectly, while accentuating all of your favorite parts of yourself. It wasn’t anything too elaborate, but it made you feel confident and that’s what matters. You may or may not have also thought about Joe when picking it out, what he would think about when he saw you in it. You quickly shook the resurfacing thoughts from your mind as you slipped it on, careful not to mess up your look.
While you were applying the finishing touches to your look, your mind wandered to thoughts about yours and Joe’s friendship. You had met during one of his first classes when he transferred to LSU, asking you for directions to his next class. It happened that you were going the same way, offering to show him and the rest was history. On paper, you both were opposites, but that’s almost why you complimented each other so well. You matched one another's energy and could read the other like a book. It almost felt as if you didn't need to speak the thought out loud at times, able to tell what the other was thinking.
You and Joe had been there for each other all throughout college, being a support system and lifeline in the hard times as well as the biggest cheerleader for the highest highs. Through every breakup, Joe was always there to pick up the pieces he didn’t break, comforting you while giving you the praise he felt you deserved. Another thing you wrote off as him just being your best friend. No one wanted to see their best friend sad, so it was natural to want to cheer them up, right?
You were drawn out of your thoughts to the sound of your front door closing, signaling Joe had arrived.
“Hey Y/N, you ready to go?” he called from your living room, making his way through your apartment.
“Just a minute, I’m finishing up and we can head out” you called back, hearing his footsteps get closer as you spoke.
There was a sudden pause as the sound of Joe approaching got closer, turning to see him stopped in your doorway. He leaned his body up against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest.
“You look absolutely amazing, I love that we have a matching thing going on” Joe said as he looked you up and down, his gaze taking you in.
 It all felt like too much, turning your attention back to the mirror in front of you.
When you were leaving your apartment to get into his car, Joe placed a gentle hand around your waist to keep you steady in your heels as you walked across the pavement parking lot. Your skin felt like it was ablaze under his touch, finding yourself craving more of it as his hand dropped to get the door for you.
“Thanks” you mumbled, trying to regain your composure back as the night was just beginning.
______________________________________________________________
The night drew on, Joe not letting you far out of his reach as he spoke with his teammates and other guests that were there. It felt as if you had a pull to one another, a sense of palpable tension between you in the air. Joe seemed to be a lot touchier than usual, tending to keep you close when one of his teammates would get a bit too close for what must have been his liking. It all felt like too good to be true, that he must have really wanted you near him
There was only what you could describe as a Joe shaped indentation in your life, making any man incomparable to the standard he set for you without even knowing. So many guys in the past few years have tried to take their shot with you, but you never let any of them get too feeling like they were missing something that you were looking for. Even the ones that did ended up breaking your heart, leaving you feeling a deeper hollow pit than before them. 
He was so close to you at the table, you could smell his cologne and feel the heat radiating off of his body that was clad so nicely in his suit, his arm slung protectively over the back of your chair as if he was staking his claim over you. It was taking so much willpower to not just lean over and say the most unspeakable things to him. To finally confess everything you’ve been feeling, wondering if he felt the same or if it would be a waste of time and ruin everything you created together.
In this moment, it felt like just the two were the only ones despite the room being so crowded with other guests. You leaned over, placing a delicate hand on Joe's thigh to test his reaction. You felt his muscles tense beneath your touch, close enough to hear his breath hitch in his throat. All signs were pointing in the right direction.
“Y/N” Joe said, his voice labored and breathy.
The way he says your name, stopping you in your tracks, short circuiting your mind for a moment. That was the kind of power he had over you, the ability to completely send your senses into overdrive without even realizing he was doing so. You tried your best to shut your mind off, taking the opportunity to tell him while you had the courage to do so.
“I don’t want you like a best friend” you spoke, voice keeping composure while trying to keep yourself from backing out.
Joe’s eyes closed as his head subtly dropped back against his chair. A quiet groan coming from his throat online loud enough for your ears only.
You leaned closer to his ear, keeping your body language as natural as possible with everything you’re feeling. Noticing how he was reacting to your words and proximity.
“I only bought this dress so you could take it off” your confidence shifting with a hint of seduction in your voice, sealing your fate to ending your friendship or starting a new chapter.
That seemed like the last straw for his own composure, not being able to contain his own building desire. Joe turned to look towards you, his gaze darkening from your confession, your grip tightening on his thigh as he tried to process the moment.
Without speaking, Joe stood from the table of his teammates and began gathering his things as he silently gestured for you to do the same. 
“I think we’re gonna get going guys, Y/N isn’t feeling too well so I’m gonna bring her home” Joe said casually, holding out a hand for you to take.
Everyone said their goodbyes and wished you well. The minute you were out of the vicinity from everyone, Joe heaved you over his shoulder and began to hustle towards the car.
“JOE” you yelped followed by a light chuckle, caught off guard by his actions.
He didn’t reply until he got you to the car, dropping you carefully to your feet and pressed your back against the car door.
He leaned close to your ear, causing a shiver to run down your spine as he spoke “you have no idea how long I've wanted you. First, I'm gonna get you home and we're gonna get you out of this dress so I can do all of the things I’ve only ever dreamt of doing to you. Then we can talk about where we want to go from here, but I sure as shit don’t want to go back to just being friends. Does that work for you, sweetheart?” 
You didn’t trust your voice in that moment, not knowing if words would come out if you tried and opted for a firm nod.
He backed away from the car, bringing you towards him so he could open the door for you.
“Get in mamas and buckle up, because once we get home, you’re in for a ride” closing the door before you could give him a response.
You were about to be in for a night you didn’t expect, but one that would change everything for the best.
Thank you so much for reading, please send in any requests or comments. I hope you enjoyed!
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ghostgirl-22 · 1 day ago
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18+ !NSFW!
Pair: Artrick (mostly) Patashi mentioned
Patrick is a brat actually. So Art edges him relentlessly.
—-
Something, something. Art gets recognized at a gala and brings Tashi and Patrick as his plus ones to pick up the award. The world just thinks it’s his wife and best friend and they’re supposed to act accordingly. But Patrick is tired and horny and annoyingly bratty the whole night. He spends all night teasing them and trying to provoke them, pushing all of their buttons in public where they can’t do anything. He’s relentless, begs Art to fuck him in the bathroom before his speech, gives him blue balls whispering dirty things and then laughing about it.
He flirts with half the waitresses and a couple of waiters. Tashi wants to get back at him but she tends to lose control so easily when it comes to him. They just end up fucking in a random office one floor below before the galas even over. She comes back flushed, hair looser, makeup slightly smudged and he shows up a few minutes after, suit jacket wrinkled, buttons mismatched. The ruby of her lipstick still visible on his throat.
Art grabs him by the shoulders and fixes his tie. “You’re so sloppy. I hope you’re having fun,” he says quietly.
“It’s a lot of fun,” he grins.
—-
“I don’t see what the problem is,” Patrick shrugs in the limo on the ride back to their Brooklyn townhouse. “I mean it worked… I got what I wanted anyway.” He grins at Tashi.
Tashi glares at him and then whispers in Art's ear. “He’s so fucking annoying. Can you punish him?”
Art smiles, nodding as he gazes at Patrick. He doesn’t do it that night. Not even that week. It’s a random afternoon when Tashi’s away at a gymnastics meet with Lily and Art’s got all day.
“I’m not being mean. I just want you to say sorry,” Art says softly. They’re in the guest bedroom where Patrick pretends to sleep when they have company. He’s teasing himself along Patrick’s entrance. He’s been doing it for nearly an hour now. He slowly starts jerking himself off and Patrick looks up at him, flushed all over, he’s covered in a sheen of sweat, his muscles are taut, his cock is upright resting against his stomach, it’s swollen purplepink, and leaking. Patrick can't look away from him, fists clenching, he ends up thrusting against the air probably just out of habit as he tries to grab for him.
“Mm, I didn’t say you could touch,” Art breathes. Patrick pulls back, he’s desperate, but not desperate enough to misbehave. Not right now at least. He’s so frustrated though, Art can see it in his eyes how fucking bad he wants him and it’s so hot he ends up coming all over Patrick for the third time (accidentally of course).
“Fuck,” Patrick says breathlessly watching him.
“Mm, it feels so good,” Art moans making sure his come spills on new and different parts of Patrick’s body… he’s got so much near his entrance already.
“Fuck, I said I was sorry sweetheart. Come on, please,” Patrick begs, mindlessly.
“But Patrick, you don’t sound sorry.” Art says softly. “Honestly, you sound like you’re just saying it because you want me to fuck you. sweetheart.”
Patrick groans.
Art smirks, watching him try to focus when he’s clearly so overwhelmed with need. “Or is it that…” He moves, crawling over Patrick so he’s straddling his thighs. “You just want to fuck me.”
“Fuck, yes,” Patrick groans. He bucks his hips right away, eager for the friction.
Art grins, and shoves him back down. Patrick pulls his knees up behind him, trying to get Art to settle on his lap but Art keeps away, pressing down on Patrick’s hips so the only contact is brief and very slight.
“You’re such a slut.” Art sighs, looking over him. “Dick so big you don’t know what to do with it, huh?”
“Yes I do… I promise please, please lemme fuck you,” Patrick whines.
“It’s okay,” Art continues as if he didn’t say anything. “I know you can’t help yourself… it’s so big and so sensitive you’re hard all the time, need to be coming all the time. Can’t sit still. Can’t stop flirting. Teasing. Anything to get off.” He’s ghosting his fingers idly along the base of Patrick’s swollen cock. Patrick’s thighs are quivering behind him. Art feels himself beginning to get aroused again.
“Art please,” Patrick whimpers. “Tashi is… Tashi’s a liar. She was the one teasing me… and it’s not like we… like we got caught. ���
“Mm calling my wife a liar? Are you sure you want to do that?”
“Fuck, Art I— I’ll do anything—please, please I just need to come... it hurts….“
“But isn’t this what you wanted? Didn’t you say you wanted me to fuck you till you couldn’t think, hm? Doesn’t it feel good…when I fuck you?”
“Mm, not like this,” Patrick groans.
Art rubs his cheek where he’s got that scruffy beard that Art actually really likes. His fingers are still wet with jizz and Patrick turns to lick them. Art smirks letting it slide. ”Say you promise you’ll behave next time we’re in public and maybe I’ll let you come.”
“I’ll behave, you know I will.” He lies. “I’ll do whatever you fucking want. Please. You’re so fucking pretty. God, look at you. I just—I wanted you and I couldn’t wait. Please, please, is that so bad?”
Art bites his lip. “Okay Patrick, you can stop whining now. Put this in your mouth till I get really hard again, okay?”
“Can’t I just…can’t I just fuck you?” Patrick says weakly.
“Aww It’s almost like you’re not sorry and you want me to start this all over…” Art says gently. “Is that what you want?”
“No, no, I—okay,” Patrick says eagerly. He sits up and moves between Art's legs, switching their positions.
Art lays back on the bed revelling in the feeling of Patrick taking him in so greedy and desperate. He runs his fingers through Patrick’s hair and smiles.
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wazzuppy-writes · 2 days ago
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Making Cookies With Mob and Reigen
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Characters: Shigeo Kageyama, Reigen Arataka, Reader
Relationship: Platonic
Type: Headcanons
Warnings: None
A/N: I thought I'd write something simple and cute for my first real post here. Platonic relationships are my absolute favorite thing to write, so I hope you enjoy this as much I did.
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Neither Mob or Reigen are good at cooking. Like, at all. Mob can make simple things like rice balls and sandwiches, but he's hopeless when it comes to anything else. Meanwhile Reigen has been eating nothing but microwave dinners for the past twelve years, so any kitchen skills he might've had are gone now.
So when you suggest baking cookies together on their day off, they're incredibly reluctant. It takes a lot of pleading to get them to agree, and even then they still try weaseling their way out. But you're persistent and you have your heart set on spending time with them! They're going to make these cookies whether they want to or not!
Because of their disastrous inexperienced skill level, you have to take the lead while they do their damn best to follow it.
Turns out that they're really bad at following instructions.
"Master, are you sure this is a good idea?"
"Of course it is! Why bake it at 375 degrees for fifteen minutes when we'd save so much more time by baking it at 500 degrees for five minutes? Use your head, Mob."
They were devastated when the cookies came out as charcoal. Well, Reigen was devastated— Mob kinda saw it coming. You're just relieved they didn't burn down the kitchen.
So you guys try again...and again... and again, but nothing comes out right. Eventually you run out of ingredients and have to stop. The boys are really embarrassed and apologetic, but you do your best to reassure them.
"I'm so sorry, Y/n. We let you down... And now you have to go grocery shopping, too..."
"It's no big deal, really! You tried your best and that's what matters. Besides, I'm just happy we all got to spend time together. How about we try again next week?"
"Really? Even after we wrecked your kitchen?"
"Eh. It's cleaner than I thought it would be."
From then on, baking cookies became a weekly ritual for you three. It took a few more tries for them to get it right, but when they did, they were ecstatic. Literally the happiest you'd ever seen them.
Reigen took a dozen pictures of you, him, and Mob posing with the cookies and sent them to all his contacts— like a proud parent. They were cold by the time he was done, but that's okay. He's having fun.
As you ate and celebrated, Mob eagerly talked about all the other recipes he wanted to try. Having something fun to do every week, and with two of his favorite people at that, really meant a lot to him. It made him feel like a normal kid with a normal social life. Reigen tried not to seem as outwardly excited, but it's still clear that he's just as happy.
The three of you continue meeting up every week to bake. You even bring back the leftovers for the others at Spirts and Such! Some of them, like Serizawa and Teru, like to join in on the fun— to varying results— but they're also content to reap the rewards without actually doing any work.
The fridge is constantly filled with leftover sweets and everyone keeps getting cavities, but no one has the heart to say anything. Not when you're having so much fun.
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Dividers from here.
GIF from here.
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rosesutherlandwrites · 3 days ago
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Struggling a little bit with picking up my pen (opening my laptop) and getting back to work on the wip today after *gestures vaguely* everything. Like, it was always going to be rough getting back down to it after a week off to move halfway across a continent on little more than sheer willpower and hope for a better future, but the way things have fallen out politically in the States is really weighing on a lot of us, no matter where we are and what we have going on.
Anyway I spent some time navel gazing this morning trying to get my head in the game again and ended up coming around to the thing a lot of us creatives have been returning to: All art is political. So, I took a long hard look at what I've written so far, and what it's saying about the world— both "the one we dream about and the one we live in now", to borrow from Anaïs Mitchell—and me, as the person putting it out there.
I wrote A Sweet Sting Of Salt, for fun—as escapism, really, during a period of intense upheaval and loneliness...which also happened to coincide with the first Trump administration. It ended up being a story about freedom, consent, women helping women, defiant queer hope & joy in a difficult time and place, finding beauty and love and community in a harsh world—and a misogynist abuser getting exactly what he richly deserves.
Today, I'm finding comfort knowing that even in what was written as a "simple" historical fairy tale, with no agenda beyond giving lesbians a happy ending in a period drama, there is no denying the queerness and feminism of a worldview that values that happiness.
Anyway, that's me musing on the nature of what I do, and where it fits in the world right in this moment. I'm glad that right now it's making me feel proud and energizing me to go on doing it as long as I possibly can: I'm sufficiently unpacked in my new place to function, so as soon as I send out some day job applications this morning, I'm getting straight back to work on my next queer book which feels like the thing I'm good at that I *should* be doing in this moment. The new one includes a whole through line about solidarity, the inherent violence of throwing others under the bus in an effort to improve one's own lot, and the slippery slope from doing what seems easy and painless and "not that bad" to true evil—I dunno, but that feels real apt at the moment.
All this to say: the work may feel hard but by damn it's my work and I'll keep on doing it until the moss grows over me.
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bookshelf-in-progress · 1 month ago
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Gosh, do I love discovery writing. The freedom. The sense of play. The way you have to hold the material lightly and follow where it leads, never being afraid to scrap things that don't work or to rewrite to emphasize things that do. You have the fun of discovering the story you're writing rather than the frustration of being unable to capture the ideas in your head. This way might wind up taking ages, but it makes the writing process such a joy.
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lynxfrost13 · 3 months ago
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Do you guys think Holt and Storch Sieben ever hatefucked
#I think they have a complicated relationship I’ve been pondering it#bc Holt very much does hate her before the events of the Koliblunt force trauma incident#her initial dislike of Sieben comes from a bad first impression when Sieben was fresh meat on sierpinski (Holt is olddd)#she was petty about it but willing to deal with it to a certain point#but as her higher up sieben pushed her buttons one too many times early on#which is bad you WANT the senior medical EULR on your side in case of emergency!!!#i do think they’ve spent a lot of time together for work related reasons#they become not quite friends not quite enemies?? but a secret weird cold thing full of regret maybe#this partially has to do with how I characterize present day sieben bc yeah she’s a Storch and they are prone to temper tantrums especially#if not trained correctly#but Sieben’s basically one of the highest ranking units at sierpinski if I remember correctly#and you don’t get there without some degree of level headedness + when talking to her she’s not necessarily warm and fuzzy#but she also didn’t seem like a young volatile Storch to me#at least not anymore#I think about sieben a lot but anyways#roundabout way of saying that when Holt did fall ill with the infection it wasn’t ignored by sieben#Holt was visited by her once alone when her vision started fading and they had a moment.#a reconciliation? an attempt on sieben’s part to make things right before the inevitable?? or just wanting to check on her? who knows#I certainly don’t#holt#thanks for listening to the ramble I’m attempting to blorbo post more#and this has been rotating in my head for weeks#figured I’d get it out#blorbo tag
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mypeggableromance · 26 days ago
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#hhhhh I'll probably delete this later but if i don't physically put these thoughts somewhere I'll maybe explode.#but fuck man. shit sucks fr! I highkey think I can't go to work tomorrow but yknow how it goes!!!!#I'm caught somewhere between finally being taken seriously about my health issues#and having the most wretched mental health crisis#like on one hand fantastic! I'm being taken seriously now its gotten to the point where I cant fucking walk normally#but on the other hand oh my god holy shit. i had to get this bad???? and I'm worried. i know theres shit so much bigger than me rn going on#but I'm worried about my health. especially when I've been trying to deal with it for the better part of like.... 5 years#since i was 19!!!!#I'm 24 and worrying about whether or not I'll actually walk about with 0 pain ever again isn't that fucked.#so that's bittersweet. ive got physio tomorrow. blood tests next week#an ultrasound coming up#its ultimately a good thing im being taken seriously. if not a terrifying acceptance that everything ive been feeling has been real and#well. bad.#and like with this right is the crash of my mental health. just a fuckin nosedive man.#i have a relatively stressful job i felt out of my depth about and thus guilty for but now its a role that I've approached in constant pain#for the last few months.#i can't deal with that actually! lots of stress! lots of pain! lots of mental pain over my physical condition! my job grinding my soul!#aaaaa!!!!!!!#like i dont WANT to be unemployed either#I'd much rather be uhhhh employed! and able to save money towards actually getting Help™#but I've got to admit that i hurt too much. and its consuming my whole fucking brain.#but I'll go on#ive got my first trip out the country solo next week!! im heading to san Fransisco!!! im excited.#but I'm worried for the inevitable moment where my pains catch up with me#ill surpress it while I'm out there. try and remind myself to have a good time. return to the uk and feel a weeks worth of pain#and even THAT sucks to consider#but i should stop#rambles
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serenity-the-firefly · 4 months ago
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My family just had to put my sister’s childhood cat down :( i didn’t even like him that much but im still pretty sad….
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stormyrainyday · 4 months ago
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this entire year has been flop after flop why am i losing so bad your honor i am literally just some guy
#im yapping u can move on if u dont wanna hear my life story#first i get nuked by stomach pains when i go to visit my friends#something that had been ongoing for years but#my best friend convinces me to see a doctor that year#my condition deteriorates no matter what meds they put me on#i finally get a more invasive exam that shows my intestines were inflamed#i get put on fucking steroids that fuck me up physically and emotionally#i go through multiple med school exams after spending months in crippling pain#pain so bad id be bedridden for hours#got 6 weeks of migraines near daily#sometimes multiple in a day#stressed out of my mind by the time my finals came around to the point that i could no longer bring myself to care#bc i was sure id fail no matter how hard i studied#visit my friends again bc somehow its already winter again#am a nervous wreck all the time and retreat into my phone#but also hate myself for not spending what little time i had fully present#constantly worn out and exhausted bc my meds are barely working#and id found out i was allergic to a lot of things so i was cutting a lot of things out of my diet#lmfao it was so bad my weight still hasnt recovered but yeah i come back i start 3rd year#the toll the last year had taken on my mental health finally registers#i become too depressed to study for my hardest module yet#UGH THATS SO CRINGE JUST SIT DOWN AND STUDY??#but nothing was sticking on god#anyway im sure ive failed#and la salud mental no es bien or soemthing idk i havent taken spanish in 3 years#anyway deep sigh i just stay losing#i cant believe im in like four fucking research projects and classes and trying to work on myself this shit sucks balls#and clinical rotations...#lord just strike me down
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seaofreverie · 1 month ago
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So busy with Sparkstember that I almost forgot that I go back to school on tuesday
#honestly maybe it's better this way. i'd rather just not care at all rather than be super stressed about it#just like i've been doing with every little thing for most of my life#might have missed the date when we were supposed to choose our elective courses. well whatever Lol#and i still don't even know what my schedule is or what classes i have this semester oopsie#well the university itself doesn't seem particularly pressed about giving us the schedule either#but i'd probably better still read up on the classes at least before they start#i don't have high hopes for this year just like with the last. probably should just stop pretending that i still want to study anything atp#this wasn't even my first choice of a course bcs i had to prepare for that damn exam to be accepted for my preffered one#but i couldn't be bothered to study for it again which probably should have told me enough abt whether going into this again is a good idea#i'm so tired just thinking about it but i know that actually looking for a job and then having a job will be a thousand times worse so uh#but at least i'd have my own money and start doing something ughhhh. useful maybe. who knows what it will be though#i have no ideaaaaaa. but this feels like just putting off the inevitable. like at some point i need to get my shit together#i will probably report at the end of the next week about how i'm so done already#i don't really knowwww mannnnnm. i don't feel like i had any vacation at all even though 3 months have already passed#and i also sort of didn't prepare something relatively easy to do that would have given me an actual document#that would confirm that i actually finished that part-time school thing last semester#can't really be bothered to come back to it at this point though#well at least i learned something actually useful and interesting from that and that's enough for me tbh#and a lot of it is also relevant to my current area of interest (digital drawing and computer graphics in general)#well speaking of which i'd better just get back to drawing now lol. just one more left to finish!!!#in short i guess that my new way of dealing with stress is just ignoring it all#well it's worked in some way at least so it can't be an entirely bad thing lol#goosepost
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nxctern · 1 year ago
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There’s been something building up in my chest and mind for a while now
It’s an odd feeling
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