#the bad thing is that i work. a lot. this coming week

[jellymochii]

Stray Kids - Valentine's Day Headcanons

ᡣ𐭩 pairings: OT8 SKZ x fem!Reader

ᡣ𐭩 genre: fluff, smut

ᡣ𐭩 wc: 1.5k

ᡣ𐭩 cw: smut, dacryphilia, oral, mentions of bondage/d!ldos, dry humping, unprotected s3x (pls don't unless you want STD's for Valentine's Day)

↪author's note: hello! sorry I've been gone so long and not finished my NingNing fic, but to make it up to you I've whipped this up. happy Valentine's Day and hope you enjoy!

**THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND DOES NOT REFLECT THE TRUE NATURE OF THE PEOPLE MENTIONED**

ᡣ𐭩Chan

His dad always taught him to be a classy man–and so he's gonna make sure you're well taken care of for such a special day.

He bought you that long red dress you've been eyeballing for a while and adorned you with shiny pearled jewelry. (And a giant bouquet of flowers)

He takes you to the most high end restaurant in the city (which took 6 months reservation in advance) with a staff member dressed all nice like a chauffeur.

Expensive steaks, lobster tail, or even chicken nuggets. Whatever you want, he'll get you.

Lots of food in your belly to prepare for…y'know, the baby he's about to put in you.

What, like he wasn't gonna fill you to the brim with cum after you looked this good for him?

It's almost as if he knew that you were planning on skipping your birth control that day in the hopes you'd finally get to be filled.

Oh and you're up for hours, he's not stopping until your poor cunt is leaking with all his babies, and he'll get a few more loads in just to make sure it stays put in your cervix.

“C'mon baby, you don't want anything leaking out d'ya? Right, now stay still and let daddy give you that baby you wanted~.”

There's nothing more romantic to both of you than being given a cute little symbol of your love in 9 months.

ᡣ𐭩Minho

The bad news is that he did not, infact, get the day off work. There's lots of love he has to send to STAY before he can get home to you.

The good news is that now that Idol Minho is off work, Chef Minho has arrived!

He always keeps your favorite dish in the back of his mind and he knows you've been begging him to make it these past few weeks, but he wanted to save it today to make it extra special.

You'll smell it from a mile away, but as soon as you walk in the dining table is lit with candles and a big flower centerpiece to top it off.

Looks at you with so much love as you absolutely devour your plate like a wild tiger.

Speaking of absolutely devouring

Normally you and Minho have a strict dom/sub relationship with him asserting and taking control.

But today he just wants to show you that despite all the harsh punishments he has to give you, you're still the love of his life.

And that includes devouring your cunt for hours.

“Mmmh, my precious little pussy. You're this wet just for me?”

ᡣ𐭩Changbin

CRUISE TIME BABYYYYY

No but fr he wasn't sure what to do and even asked Chaeryeong what kind of stuff girls like.

Eventually he settled on taking the week off and spending time with you by the seaside, providing both a relaxing and loving vacation.

You two get to explore some cute islands and eat feasts of chocolate alongside a paradise of other loving couples.

And sometimes you'll spend alone time too! He'll work out at the cruise gym while you relax by the poolside soaking up the island sun.

Oh and it's a good thing it's a honeymoon cruise (even if you two aren't married)

God bless whoever decided to make all the rooms on the ship soundproof because you're definitely gonna need it while he's rearranging your guts.

But let's be honest, the whole ship can still hear your strangled moans and the plap plap plap sounds coming from your room.

“Anngh, yeobo, you're so tight, I love this pussy.”

At least you can tell your kids they were created by the sea.

ᡣ𐭩Hyunjin

You can expect nothing but the sweetest from your lover boy.

He had Versace create a giant bouquet of your favorite flowers in a beautiful signature gold wrap.

His first thought on a date was doing the painting swap challenge from tiktok and seeing what the two of you could create.

There's paint on both of your noses by the end and kkami with an accidental blue spot on his fur from the crossfire of your paint war.

He tried to salvage your original drawing to no avail, but he still insists that he thinks it's perfect because it came from you.

His next surprise was a custom mold of his cock for you to play with whenever he was away on tour, but he insists on trying it on you first for “Quality Assurance” as he calls it.

It feels almost exactly like the real thing and reaches into your favorite spots exactly like his.

With his new ability to use the dildo AND his mouth simultaneously, you cum so many times that you're brain dead.

“You're so gorgeous, my angel. You look so pretty cumming on my cock–God, I love you so much.”

And he may have snapped a few photos of you like this to help him when he's not there next to you.

ᡣ𐭩Han

Have you ever dreamed of having a whole mixtape/album come out all about you?

Cause Jisung's got you covered

He'll have a whole listening party with some of his friends as you sit there trying not to cry from how sweet he is.

You can't stop kissing him and adoring him the rest of the night, it's like your wildest dreams have come true.

How could you not reward such a good boy?

Oh you both are getting the NASTIEST sex tonight.

Dildos, cuffs, chains–every toy gets brought in out of desperation.

You're both just so desperate to fuck eachother before you even leave that he's pressed up against you on the subway humping your ass like a dog.

“Mmmph, please! I-I need more!.”

You're in for a long night of multiple orgasms from both of you.

ᡣ𐭩Felix

You've been eyeballing the amusement park 2 towns over for a while now, and what better time to take you than now?

The illuminating fair lights turned pink for the special day makes you both giddy.

The first stop is obviously the Rollercoaster, you're having the time of your life while Felix is fighting off demons trying not to pass out.

Then you'll get to go on the new pink ferris wheel and give your lover a kiss at the top.

Alongside buying you all the fair food you can eat, he spots a pair of gold rings from a vendor that he just HAS to buy you.

After coming back from buying them and watching you struggle on the shooting game for a giant teddy bear, he steps in and uses his gamer experience to win it for you!

And he's gonna make you hump it for him as soon as you get home.

Don't worry, he'll fuck you eventually, but watching you desperately get off on the fluffy fabric while staring at him with teary puppy eyes makes his dick throb.

“Fuck you look so sexy like that. Keep going so I can cum on your pretty face, mkay?”

ᡣ𐭩Seungmin

Since your first date was at the vintage arcade down the street, he decided to bring you right back to where it all started.

Life's been a total dream since you two started dating, but you're reminded in times like these why he's such a tease.

He'll never let you forget how much better he is at video games than you are, especially Guitar Hero and the OG Sonic.

You're also getting your ass whooped at Dance Dance Revolution too.

He'll let you win at 1 or 2 games though just so you don't pout at him later.

You know what his favorite game is though?

Edging you, duh.

You swear you have no idea where he learned to use his fingers so skillfully. He's throat deep in your pussy while his fingers twist your nipples to perfection.

“Why are you squirming away? I thought you loved it when I broke you down jagi.”

And you do, there's no better gift you could've gotten today than being nothing more than a brain dead fuckdoll for your sweet boyfriend.

ᡣ𐭩Jeongin

You guys are still fairly new to your relationship and it's your first Valentine's Day.

So he wants to make it as perfect as possible. He asks Chris and the rest of the boys what kind of stuff he should do for you and tries to pack it all together in one night.

Unfortunately for him the place he wanted to take you caught on fire, the flowers got delivered to the wrong address, and the ring he ordered you was smaller than what he wanted.

The poor boy can't even look you in the eye as he’s telling you all of this, but you reassure him that none of the material stuff matters–as long as he’s by your side.

The two of you settle for takeout and a movie at your place with lots of cuddles and kisses.

There was still a chance for him to have one thing he planned go his way though.

While the two of you have dealt in the occasional oral/fingering, he wanted to overcome his fear of intimacy and actually have sex with you.

Thankfully all his wildest dreams came true the moment he slipped into you and was immediately sent straight into Heaven.

“F-fuuuuck, you’re everything–so beautiful, perfect and tight.”

Even if Valentine's Day didn't go the way he originally wanted, he wouldn't ask for anything else–bring inside of you and feeling your love was all he needed.

[captivating-flavors]

enough | sylus

pairing: sylus x non mc reader

prompt: -

summary: you wanted your love to be enough.

words: 1,399

warning(s): angst, mentions of death

a/n: inspired by rereading the limerence/carpe noctem series by @comatosebunny09 but i havent written anything in like 4-5 years so sorry if its bad :3

“Boss ran out hours ago and has been awol since.”

You knew exactly where he was the moment Luke called you almost an hour ago. You immediately grabbed your keys and sped over. The trip usually took you forty-five minutes but it was taking you longer today, since it was raining and the roads were slippery.

This was the second time this week and this was what he usually does around this time of the year anyway. Her birthday was coming up and this is what he always does within the weeks leading up to her birthday and after. It’s been two years since her death and you knew that he still blames himself for it.

“It’s my fault she’s gone. I couldn’t save her.”

You’d heard that line countless of times and every time you did the pain cuts through you just the same, but as time went on it became a different kind pain. At first, it was the pain of losing one of your close friends. But as your relationship with him progressed, it became the pain of knowing that you could never even come close to her in his eyes.

You first met Sylus when you were working as a bartender in one of the largest bars in the N109 Zone. You were being harassed and he was about to step in when he thought it was going to get out of hand, but you practically broke the guy’s arm in two places. He saw potential in you as a fighter and wanted to take you under his wing, as somewhat of a partner, someone who could act as a backup and accompany him to the dangerous meetings he frequents. So, he tried to recruit you.

“Sorry, but I’m perfectly content with my current job.” And that was the truth, it was the most well-paying job you had and the benefits were quite generous.

“I’m not asking you to quit your day job, sweetie. I’m simply offering you a… freelance gig, if you will. And don’t worry, I’ll train you and reward you handsomely for your assistance.”

That was how you first got entangled with him, five years ago. You thought that there was no harm in having a side gig, so you agreed to have him train you in his private gym three times a week until he deemed you ready for the missions, as he would often call them.

Somewhere along the way, between the missions, the training sessions and the banters, you found yourself slowly falling for him. The smiles, the flirting, the gifts and the heartwarming words he’d say to you every time you made an improvement during training or when you managed to finish the mission well, the attentiveness, who could ever not fall for that. You never said a word, of course, too scared to ruin the seemingly perfect partner dynamic you’ve got going on.

Two years into being his mission partner, you found yourself slowly getting replaced by her. She was better than you as a mission partner, even you had to admit that. She’s had her hunter training and her evol, there was nothing you could do to ever match up to that.

You’d still hung around the base a lot, and he’d still have you help with menial things here and there, but every time there was a mission he would always take her instead. Every time you went to the base, she was always there. Due to that, you got to know her. She was so bright, bubbly and smart that you instantly felt drawn to her. The two of you became even closer upon knowing that both of your families had been lost to unsolved explosive accidents.

But being around the base a lot also made you aware of other things, like the way he would stare at her with those eyes every time she talks animatedly about something that happened during work. The way he would gently smile and kiss her head every time she falls asleep on the couch, before carrying her to his bedroom.

Even though you knew him first, it hurt to see that she was the one able to evoke such gentle, tender, loving side out of him. But he seemed happier with her, and there was nothing you could do about it. You knew your place, so you backed out, created space, found other things to work on to keep yourself busy. You’d still come over and hung out with them and the twins, but just not as often.

A year into it, the two of them walked into an ambush. It was never supposed to be an easy one, but it wasn’t supposed to be hard either. The people of the N109 Zone were never above playing dirty and so they had a sniper five buildings away. The shot was meant for Sylus, but something went wrong on both parties’ calculations, and it ended up hitting her instead.

At first you only wanted to be there for him, comfort him. Do anything to make him feel better. You honestly never intended to get into bed with him, but you did. It hurt you to have him call you by her name as you did it but you’d do anything to help him. You stupidly thought that it could be a win-win solution, as you could make him feel better and also have him closer to you.

But deep down you knew. You knew you were only a placeholder for her. The both of you had similar hair, eye color and build. You knew the reason why he entangled himself with you was because you reminded him of her. Even though you knew, you still fell for it, digging the hole deeper for yourself. Like an idiot. You knew he couldn’t–wouldn’t–ever reciprocate your feelings, but you still genuinely cared for him. Hence, why you have been putting up with this for a year and a half.

You got out of the car and ran past the cemetery gates. You’ve traversed through these grounds countless of times, so the rain and darkness of the night was not an issue. You soon found him in the exact spot you knew he would be at. You stood in front of his sitting form, holding out the umbrella over him, looking down at him and it just breaks your heart knowing that he’s still in agony even after all these times and that there’s nothing you can do to help him ease his pain.

“Sylus.”

He had his back to the side of her tombstone, unmoving. He barely glanced at you.

“…”

“It’s raining. We should head back.”

“…”

“Come on, let’s get you in the car.” You said as you grabbed his arm, in an effort to pull him up and towards the car.

Surprisingly, today he silently complied, unlike when you also had to do this two days ago. The moment he was up and leaning over to you, you could clearly smell the alcohol on him.

‘No wonder he’s being compliant this time,’ You thought to yourself.

You walked the both of you towards the car and put him in the passenger’s seat before closing the door and moving over to the other side of the car, taking the driver’s seat. The both of you were drenched, so you grabbed the towels you’ve stashed on your backseat and handed one over to him with one hand, as you were drying your hair with the other.

“Here. You’ll catch a cold.” Seeing as he still wasn’t responding, you draped it over his head. He weakly raises his hand and starts to rub the towel over his wet head of hair.

“… I miss her.”

“I know. Me too, Sylus. Me too.”

You started the engine and drove straight to base. The drive went on without him saying anything else and the moment you guys arrived, you realized Sylus had fallen asleep, so you had Luke and Kieran help you get him to his room, where you changed him out of his wet clothes before tucking him in. You brushed a stray strand of hair away from his sleeping face and took a seat on the side of his bed, still caressing his soft head of hair.

“I love you, Sylus. I wish that was enough to help you.”

[booksooks]

i havent even met sylus in game but some of yall seem to have him confused for your own oc because he would Not act Like That

typing using voice to text so I'm sorry if the formatting is weird, but from what my friend who has met sylus has told me: this man would not act the way some of you guys are insisting. like he would not be jealous to the point of being entirely unable to communicate. he would not try to kiss you as a way of making up, or as a way to stop you from being angry with him. that's just not something i see as feasibly anywhere near sylus as a character.

if you want to write a big daddy dom character who completely bulldozes over your feelings in lieu of 'fucking the jealousy out of you', then by all means go for it. but at that point, you are writing for an original character because that is wildly mischaracterizing someone who (again, according to my friend because i havent even come close to meeting sylus in the storyline) specifically makes room for you to be angry, to feel big emotions in a safe space and to be there for you.

the amount of fanfics i've seen that have sylus act in a way that is completely off base is insane. i'm aware that this is fanfiction, that people can write whatever they want and it's not harmful because at the end of the day: it's FAN FICTION and if you can't separate reality from fiction or whatever, you're not mature enough to be reading mature works or you simply don't have the media literacy skills to do so. but i've had a very long and emotionally draining week, and my temper is hanging on by a thread, and i'm allowed to be angry about a completely bullshit take on one of my favorite characters lmfao.

let me be clear, i'm not saying sylus cannot, will not, and has never been domineering, or protective, or that he doesn't have a fucking daddy kink or whatever. what i AM saying, is that the amount of fanfictions of sylus blowing the reader off or ghosting them or just simply not communicating and then expecting the reader to fall back into his arms after a kiss and a few well placed 'kitten's is astounding. even if he made the bad choice of being distant without explanation, he wouldn't expect the reader to instantly forgive him without an ELABORATE apology and an explanation. and honestly, i'm willing to put that bullshit of 'she forgives him because he's hot and he pulled her in close with his strong arms and hes so big daddy alpha dom' into the category of misogyny. because in what world does someone go from angry and hurt to forgiving and pliant just because he's a man and he kissed you. it is blatantly misogynistic to expect that.

i'm aware there is a lot of nuance within relationships, and that not everyone can be expected to be perfect at all times, HOWEVER this is fanfiction, and the authors i'm talking about have either explicitly stated that the reader and sylus have an established romantic relationship, or that they at the very least get along well and enjoy each other's company. so for sylus to then go ghost on the reader and expect them to instantly fall back into his arms at the end of the day then puts me in the position of 'simpering woman with no spine'. again, misogynistic.

at the end of the day, i'm aware this isn't an important issue and i'm aware that the misogyny in fanfiction doesn't necessarily have to transfer over to real life, especially because i do have critical thinking. but i have been ghosted before by an at-the-time boyfriend, and it sucked, so it's more of a personal issue from me.

i'm aware people can write whatever they want, and i have no obligation to read something i don't like. but that then eliminates what seems to be 50% of the fanfiction of sylus. i'm just saying please... consider writing literally anything else for sylus. for a man who has been made to love you specifically... y'all sure don't make him act like it.

if anyone wants me to elaborate or clarify some things, please send me an ask because the comments are not easy to navigate especially with multiple replies.

last but not least: i'm aware these are my personal feelings, and that i can write to make up for it should i so choose. but i hate having to scroll past 5 fics in a row with quite frankly stupid miscommunication issues from a man who is 28 and should damn well know better. thank you.

[horsefigureoftheday]

hello sorry if this is a stupid question and if it is feel free to ignore this ask, but how do you go about starting a horse figure collection? like, i know the best answer is probably to Just Start ! but the whole thing is kinda overwhelming, and I'm from a country where figurine collecting of this kind isn't really A Big Thing so the overseas shipping alone would be A Lot lmao,,,

that being said seeing these guys on my dash everyday always makes me smile, so if all else fails i can just live vicariously through this blog HSJJDJS thanks for ur work o7

Disclaimer: This is the opinion of one horse collector, it's not the objective truth of horse collecting. That said, it's an opinion I very strongly believe in.

The thing is, you don't really "start a collection." You just buy the horses you like and within a few weeks or months or years you'll have a small collection. And some day, if you keep surrounding yourself with horses you like, you'll have a big collection.

Gonna get a bit preachy here, but it's something I keep seeing, so I feel like I have to talk about it: I think entering this hobby with the mindset of "wanting a collection" can make you very impatient and vulnerable to fomo and completionism. You get so into the idea of Collecting Everything that you end up wasting $1000s on overpriced listings because you didn't even stop to think if it's gonna get relisted, if the seller is a scammer, or if you even really want that particular horse/doll/pokemon/model car/trading card/memorabilia/etc., or if you only "want" it because it's part of a set.

Collecting hobbies aren't really about having a collection. They're more about the act of collecting continuously. Maybe you take a break from it (I'm a Bella Sara collector who hasn't actively collected for 3 years), but you never really have a "complete" collection. And you need to accept that you'll never have a complete collection, otherwise you're gonna burn out and the hobby won't be fun anymore.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, I really don't mean it to. I'm trying to warn you because I'd hate to see yet another potential fellow collector burn out and leave the hobby after a few years. Collecting can be a wonderful lifelong hobby that creates lasting friendships. But only if your center your hobby around the act of collecting, rather than the idea of your collection itself. (I also find that people who focus more on their collection than the act of collecting are often a bit jealous or self-important, but I might just have run into some bad apples).

If you wanna get into a collecting hobby, the best place to start is to go out (to the thrift story, toy store, ebay, craigslist, you name it) and scour the market for things you like. And then buy a handful of cheap ones. Display them, photograph them, tell your friends about them, look up what other figures/cards/etc. are in that series, and in general just... sit with them. Get a feel for them. Are they satisfying you? Do they spark joy? Did you enjoy hunting them down and do you enjoy taking care of them and looking at them?

If yes, they spark joy, you can start looking at more specific brands, styles, colors, etc., and try to focus on what kind of horses you wanna collect. Maybe you wanna focus on palominos. Maybe you love Barbie horses. Maybe you find a really fun community of glass horse collectors that keeps you coming back. And maybe you fall so deeply in love with the hobby that you wanna collect every kind of horse figure you come across. Just be patient and focus on the act of collecting, rather than having a collection.

[fanfics-i-find-here]

Do I Know You? Part 13

Synopsis: You're having a girl's night with Steph and Cass, whether you want to or not.

Note: I enjoyed writing this chapter. It’s kind of a change of pace from what’s going on I think. And of course, a moment away from Jason (with deep regrets). Enjoy!!

Masterlist

With Jason out the door and said door locked, you sag against it with a labored sigh. You slide down until you’re sitting on the ground, and you take a moment.  You rub at your face. Part of you wants to open the door and tell Jason to come back, to stay with you forever and never leave. But you just can’t do that to him. Yesterday, he looked utterly exhausted, like he hadn’t slept once he brought you home and you almost told him to leave then. Instead, you let yourself relax in the safety of his touch and asked him to stay longer.  He looked better this morning, both when he was asleep and awake. He still looked sleepy in his rumpled clothes and a start of a scruff showing on his skin. Sleepy but not exhausted. You still felt guilty about him sleeping in the same clothes two nights in a row. You would be a bad friend if you made him stay any longer. Shuffling him out the door, you realized he didn’t even have a coat, despite for the moment that you thought Red Hood’s was his, the same that he had let you borrow many weeks ago. The Jar that you had placed in the corner of your mind, and nearly forgotten about, rattled a little. You didn’t have the energy to deal with it and blamed it on the still persistent headache you had.

Now, sitting on the ground, your headache was finally starting to dim, thanks to the pain meds Jason had you take. You became aware of the silence of your home, starting a creeping, anxious feeling in your chest. That wouldn’t do. You pull yourself to stand and start up your speaker to play some music. You were going to spot-clean your apartment, but Jason had already taken care of it. A shower it was then. You took a decent amount of time just untangling your hair, no conditioner and no brushing for two days had taken its toll. You took a painstakingly slow shower. Despite the pain meds, your back ached as you lifted your arms to wash your hair. You had to pause multiple times just to breathe normally. The conditioner followed the same slow process. You sat in the stream of warm water and tried to relax. You realized the warmth of the shower couldn’t match the heat of Jason’s body and choose not to think about that for too long. Two hours later, dressed in clean, not-so-matching pajamas (you had laughed once you noticed Jason had pulled a matching pair from the bottom of your drawer), you settle on the couch giving your body a break and mouthing along to the words of whatever song was playing.

You didn’t play your music too loud, trying to be a good neighbor, but you nearly missed the knocking on your door. It’s a quiet thing at first and you brush it off as something your mind made up (you wonder if you should text Jason to come back because your brain has already started hallucinating noises). The second round of knocks is a lot louder and it causes your shoulders to bunch up in worry. You turn on your couch to stare at the door, trying to will whoever it was to go away. Another, harder, round of knocking pulls you from your seat and to the door. You peek through the peephole into the hallway. You see curly blonde hair and then a warped face with green eyes. It takes you a minute to recognize who it is but once you do you unlock the door and open it.

“Steph?” you question, now face to face with the girl. She wastes no time working herself into your apartment with a grin.

“Hello, Honeygirl. I’ve missed you.” She’s carrying a number of bags and boxes. A lean figure with a mop of black hair follows her into your apartment carrying nearly the same amount of stuff. The items are set haphazardly on the ground, the island, and the dining table. Steph starts unpacking an ungodly number of snacks, skincare, movies, and games.

“What are you doing here?” you ask.

“Well,…” Steph goes on a rant about how you were gone and she had to listen to gossip from Darla and that, while it was entertaining, she wasn’t you. So, she decided why wait for you to come to work when you can hang out elsewhere? Which is all well and good, except you had never told Steph where you lived.

“…and I brought enough face masks to last a lifetime, also I brought Cass,” your mouth shuts from where you were going to interject yourself into her ramble. Your eyes meet brown instead of the blue you had expected. In all honesty, you thought Steph had brought Tim with her.

“Cass?” the girl grins at you and you're pulled into a stronger hug than you anticipated from her.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” Her voice is soft and calming compared to Steph’s frazzled state. Speaking of Steph, she was still ranting, something about if a card game is turned into dice is it still a card game?

As you pull away from Cass, she’s still smiling at you with excitement but you’re not sure why.

“Stephanie.” You say. Steph had never told you her full name, but you can only assume. She pauses in her ranting and unpacking and turns on you with a pout. She takes a few steps forward and drags you into her own hug, petting at your hair like you’re an inconsolable child.

“No, no, honey, you don’t call me Stephanie, only Steph.” You wrangle your way out of her hold with a laugh and finally shut your door, locking it again.

“Stephanie,” she opens her mouth to protest but you beat her to it, “What are you doing in my apartment?”

Steph gaps at you for a moment, trying to collect an answer but Cass answers for her.

“Jason” Steph throws her a warning look that Cass is unbothered by. She picks up the unpacking where Steph left off.

“What she means is,” Steph adds slowly, “Jason told us that you were involved in the whole penguin thing that’s on the news.” Steph’s face cringes as she offers the answer. Your brows furrow. Jason doesn’t really gossip, and you can’t imagine him just spouting out personal information about you. But then you remember. Steph is practically family. Your mind makes a connection, that Cass is most likely the sister that Jason mentioned once or twice. You understand oversharing with family. You used to tell your sister everything under the sun. You want to feel mad at Jason, but you aren’t. At least not yet.

“How’d you know where I live?” Steph seems startled and you get the feeling she had not prepared for any conversation referring to her and Cass’s sudden appearance in your home.

“Tracking,” Cass throws over her shoulder as she shuffles through the kitchen and turns on your oven. You think you should be concerned about Jason’s sister, who is apparently cooking something in your home, but your eyes are focused on Steph for an explanation, as Cass seems a woman of few words. Steph glares at Cass before meeting your eyes with a calmer look.

“Family tracking app. Jason’s been here for two days.” Steph explains and she seems proud of herself, but you cut it short.

“And how do you know my apartment number?” Steph sags again and Cass hops back into the conversation, now adding premade cookie dough balls to a cookie sheet. Again, you think you should be concerned that she’s already made herself at home but part of you is pleased that Jason’s sister seems comfortable doing what she wants in your apartment.

“Barbara.” She says. Steph lightens up.

“Barbara?” you ask having not heard the name before.

“Yes, Barbara,” Steph declares, “She’s the commissioner's daughter.” Steph’s eyes jump to the dining table where the stack of papers the commissioner dropped off were. “He was here, so we asked Babs to get the address from him.” You think Steph is bullshitting you. Actually, you know Steph is bullshitting you. You can’t imagine the commissioner just giving out addresses to his daughter if she asked, especially on active cases. You recognize the name Babs more than the name Barbara, but you don’t remember why. You throw all of this information to the back of your mind and decide this is all Jason’s doing. You could tell how much he didn’t want to leave you alone and you appreciated the persistence, grateful to him again for reading how much you needed people around you.

“Okay,” you finally say. Steph seems shocked for a moment before relaxing.

“Okay?” her voice pitches in question and it makes you smile.

“Yea, okay, I’m happy you’re here. I’m happy you're both here.” You throw a glance at Cass to see her already smiling softly at you. You wonder how much she knows about you, whether the information she received is from Jason or Steph, and whether or not it's good or bad. Steph hops on her feet wildly.

“Good, because I did not want to return this stuff. I may have bought too much.” She notes scanning the bags.

“No kidding, what did you bring?” you take a step forward to look through one of the bags.

“Everything you need for the best girls' night ever!” she begins unpacking the rest of the stuff explaining as she went. You glanced at Cass, perhaps as an explanation for Steph's over-preparedness. She just shrugs and brings her hand up to make a talking motion before helping unpack. The motion makes you laugh and Steph glances at you but keeps going.

Enough face masks to last a lifetime was an understatement. Between those, the ice cream, the cookies, and all the other snacks, you think all three of you could stay in your apartment for years and live off all of the skincare and sugary food. The line between self-care and self-destruction is nonexistent. Pizza was also ordered just to make sure you all got the carbs you need.  The evening went off without a hitch.  You played all kinds of games and you figured out why Steph had her question about a card game being a dice game. She had found a version of Phase 10 as dice instead of cards, you all just decided it made for a quicker game.

Through the course of the night, you come to understand that Jason and Cass were definitely siblings. She reminded you of him, or at least the way he’d been acting since he picked you up at the stupid warehouse. She touched you in a way that felt like constant comfort. A hand on your arm or shoulders pressed to yours, holding your hand in tense moments of a game. You were a little surprised by it, not expecting the girl you had just met to provide such comfort. Steph was touchy too, but you already knew that about the girl. She was more rambunctious about it. A quick second hug when she would win, a tug at your hand to drag you wherever she pleased in your apartment. It made you laugh at how different Cass and Steph were but they balanced each other out wonderfully. You also learned some new things about the girls. They were super competitive

They had shoved the coffee table against the wall to have a game of Twister. You explained that your back was hurt but you would happily spin the wheel and watch. They crowded you, asking when the last time you took a pain med and if you had been drinking water and something about pineapple. You were confused (especially about the pineapple thing) but happily answered. They shuffled you into the kitchen and medicated and watered you. You laughed at them. You felt like you were being babied. It didn’t upset you, but it made you realize that Jason had also been babying you the past two days, just more subtle than the girls. You think you like being cared about in such a manner. Once medicated, they settled you on the couch and prepared for Twister. They had a really intense stare-off before your first spin. Ten minutes into Twister, you learn that they are both extremely flexible. Cass more so than Steph but both would have beat you in the game easily. As time went on you became increasingly worried about the way their bodies would bend until Steph finally collapsed with a huff. Cass easily pulls herself out of the warp of her body and stands victoriously.

“You guys insane,” you say tossing the spinner to the side, “The human body shouldn’t move like that.” They both smile at you, Steph less gleeful than Cass.

“You should see when we play with the whole family. Cass and Dick are always the last standing. The true victor is unknown because we usually cancel the game to do something else.” Steph tells you from her seat on the floor.

“Dick?” you question, feeling odd saying the word to the girls.

“Yea, Dick. He’s an acrobat, that’s hardly an even playing field.” Steph huffs clearly missing your question. Cass sits next to you on the couch and actually answers your question.

“Brother. Richard but we call him Dick.”

“Oh” you nod in understanding and realize now would be a perfect time to be nosey.

“And the rest of your brothers?” you try to casually slip it into the conversation. Meeting Cass’s eye you think she can read you pretty easily. Steph begins to roll up the Twister mat as Cass smiles and answers you. She brings her hand up to count on her fingers.

“Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Duke.”

“and of course the others like me” Steph does a jazz hand after she plops the mat in the corner of the room. She walks past you both and into the kitchen. You want to ask about that too, the “honorary siblings” Jason had mentioned, but you’ll come back to that later.

“Dick, Damian, and Duke? Did your guys' mom go through a phase of loving D names? Also insane to have that many kids. Are you close in age?” Cass’s eyes wrinkle in confusion from your questioning.  She answers your second question.

“Mostly,” she says, making you want to ask another question, but Steph returns with headbands and face mask packets. She works a headband over your head as she talks and you let her.

“Everyone is around the same age. Jason and Cass are about the same age, then there's me.” She cups her own face like she’s presenting herself before pulling out face masks for you to choose from, “Tim is like a few months younger than me and Duke’s almost a year younger than Tim. Dick is just super old and Damian is super young but he was a surprise so I don’t think I should hold against him, but I will.” Steph rants as she pulls your chosen sheet mask out and presses it to your face. By surprise, you assume an unexpected pregnancy and with that many kids, you can't imagine that surprise.

“Are any of the others unexpected?” you ask as Steph starts putting a mask on Cass. Cass gives you another confused side glance.

“I'm pretty sure Bruce did not expect Dick, and he definitely wasn’t expecting Tim, but he has a way of getting into people's business.” She pauses a second, “You know everyone was unexpected, except maybe Jason.” Bruce. There's that name again. It's complicated, Jason had said.

“Whose Bruce?” They both look at you confused now.

“What?” you start to become self-conscious for a moment before it passes.

“Jason hasn’t talked to you?” Cass asked, less confused and more like she was worried about you.

“We tend to steer clear of family talk.” You admit, feeling guilty. Steph nods, a look of understanding on her features.

“That makes sense for him.” She doesn’t pester you about it, Cass’s hand curls around your own and you’re once again shocked by how the girl has become so comforting in such a short time.

“Bruce is Dad,” Cass states with an earnest look.

“Oh, why does-” you pause unsure if this is a conversation you should have with them or with Jason, “Why does Jason call him Bruce then?”

They both look at you with realization in their eyes, which was kind of funny considering the face mask.

“Jason is adopted,” Steph says slowly, “So is Cass and Tim.”

“Oh,” you begin to erase everything you had concluded about the family and feel dumb for a moment. Jason had told you Bruce wanted to adopt Steph. You kick yourself for not using more context clues.

“and the others?” you ask trying to reassess everything you learned in the last ten minutes.

“Everyone is adopted” Steph confirms

“Except Damian,” Cass adds.

“Oh yea. He’s actually Bruce’s I forget that sometimes. He doesn’t even call Bruce Dad though.”

“His biological son calls him Bruce?” Steph looks at you with a conspiring grin, like this was some hilarious knowledge.

“He doesn’t call him Bruce, he calls him Father” Her voice pitches into a hoity-toity accent, “Like some child dying of the plague.” You laugh both at the description and the voice, your curiosity continues to peek about Jason’s family.

“Enough family business,” Stephs makes a shooing motion with her hand, “Let’s watch something.”

You want to ask more but the girls move to putting your living back into its original state and search for something to watch. You head to the kitchen to collect ice cream and cookies. You spot your phone on the counter and pick it up to check for messages. You have one from Darla and another from Jason. You open the one from Darla and find yourself grateful for opening it away from the girls.

Darla: How’s your sexcation going? Hope that boyfriend of yours is treating you right.

You flush reading the message and glance at the girls sitting on the floor debating the movie.  Clearly, Jason hadn’t given her any details when he called you out from work.

You: It’s not a “sexcation”  I’m recovering from trauma

You mean it only slightly joking. She answers almost instantly.

D: I’m sure that dick is traumatic.

 Your entire body warms over in embarrassment. She must not be at work. While Darla was mild-mannered and gossipy at work, off the clock she could be downright crass. Time for some honesty.

Y: I’m serious

Is all you send, hoping she would understand. You don’t want to have this conversation over text.

D: What’d he do to you? Do I need to call the cops?

You sigh in relief that she finally understands.

Y: Cops have already dealt with it He picked me up and he’s been taking care of me

D: Are you okay? Do you need anything? You should have called me.

You’re glad to know that she’s worried about you but you're not ready to admit that, at the time, Jason was the only person you could think of.

Y: I’m okay I’ll let you know if I need anything and I will fill you in when I come back to work

D: Okay, sweet thing. You call me if something else happens. Take it easy.

A different warmth overtakes your body, one of gratitude. You swipe out of her message and open Jason’s. You roll your eyes the moment you see it.

Jason: How are you feeling?

You ignore the question for your own.

Y: You're adopted?

He answers you in the time it takes for you to pull the ice cream from the freezer

J: Yea?

Y: I can’t believe you never told me!!!

J: Sweetheart

The one-word response makes your tummy roll and you can practically hear the chide in his voice without him being there.

Y: It explains so much about you

J: What’s that supposed to mean?

Y: Lol

You turn your phone off and perform an amazing balance act as you carry three spoons, your phone, two tubs of ice cream, and the plate of cookies into the living room (thank you practice as a waitress). You set the ice cream on the coffee table along with the spoons. You plop onto the couch between the girls, phone dropping to your lap, plate of cookies in hand.

“Is everything okay?” Steph asks as you settle.

“Yea, why?” she points to the phone in your lap. She must have seen you in the kitchen.

“Just people checking in” you add. A mischievous look slowly lights up her features.

“It wouldn’t happen to be a certain dark-haired boy, would it?” You turn slightly to face her, back to Cass, ready to argue when you're cut short by your phone ringing. You pick it up from your lap, and a photo of you and Jason meets your eyes. It was his contact photo, one of the few photos you had of him. You had taken the selfie when he had taken you to see the sunrise. It had been freezing, both of you wrapped to high heaven in beanies, scarves, and jackets. He had brought a blanket for you and wrapped it around your head and shoulders. You almost looked like a homeless person, but you had squeezed together for warmth. You had excitedly taken the picture, the orange of the sunrise lighting up your faces perfectly. Jason had actually smiled. It was your favorite.

If you had been looking up, you would have noticed Cass and Steph share a scheming look. Cass’s arms wrap around your shoulders, trapping your arms to your side. You had assumed she was just hugging you but then your phone is pulled from your hand. You reach for it but are halted by Cass’s hold, once again surprised by the strength of the girl. Steph looks far too giddy with your phone as she answers.

“Hello, Loverboy.”

“Stephanie!” you screech, trying to pull free from Cass with no luck (a choked panic attempts to claw its way into your chest, and you actively remind yourself that it’s just Cass). You hear a voice through the speaker but it's too low for you to understand what he’s saying to her.

“You worry too much. We’re just talking about you is all. It’s fine.” More talking comes from the phone and Steph throws you a get a load of this guy look. You huff as you still trying to wiggle free of Cass. You don’t think the girl is even struggling.

“It’s girls’ night that means no boys. Worry somewhere else” Your foot finally comes up and you kick the phone from her ear. She gawks at you in disbelief. You can feel Cass laughing as she finally releases you.

“I can't believe you two teamed up against me, " you complain as you pick your phone up from the ground. The call had ended, but you dared not call back in fear of the girls stealing your phone again. You do shoot him a quick text in apology before shoving your phone under your thigh.

“we’re just trying to hurry things along,” Cass says. She has a meaningful look in her eyes when you look at her, but you don’t understand it or the statement. You open your mouth to ask what exactly they’re hurrying along, but Steph cuts in before you can.

“Forget boys, it's movie and sugar time! Our ice cream will melt everywhere if we don’t eat it soon.” You eye the condensation that has started pooling around the containers and agree. You have questions you want to ask them, mostly about Jason, but you decide maybe for another time.

You settle back against the couch between them, a pile of blankets across the three of you. As the movie plays, the ice cream and cookies are passed around. Halfway through, a drowsiness overtakes. You feel pleasantly warm emotionally and physically. It's different than when Jason held you at night. This warmth makes you think of your sister. On the odd evenings, you were getting along and you would build a fort in your family living room and camp out on a Friday night. It was a feeling you didn’t realize you missed. A tender ache of grief that you're all too familiar with blooms in your chest but damps when you feel Steph settle her head on your shoulder and Cass turn to rest her head in your lap. You decide very quickly that you feel extremely fond of these two girls who have been in your life for a very short time.

Additional Note: Cass is really trying to hit that fast-forward button and Steph is trying to hold her back. I hope that I have a decent characterization of the girls. From the tidbits that I do know about them, they are very fascinating. We will have one more chapter with girls and then we will have our boy back. Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think!

Tag List: @little-miss-naill, @nikilolo787, @joonunivrs, @uzxotic, @qardasngan, @stormz369,  @g4bbi3xx, @iwatobiswimbros, @the-lonely-flute, @elz-xo, @gone-batty-fics, @princessesgarden, @notfckincreative, @love-theangel, @feyres-fireheart, @penguimlover23, @herodedicatedblog, @dearghostling

[rotagnus]

love/self-growth in march !! 🫐

my usual pick a pile is here, darlings. pick just as usual--if it doesn't speak to you, don't force yourself to choose. there are messages for you that lie elsewhere.

this reading deals with both platonic, familial, and romantic love. don't expect to get a certain aspect of love or the result you want.

-1. ooouu you're a bright person. probably very creative with a tendency to get stuck within your own head. as for love in march, i think that this month will focus on a connection that already exists. maybe you've been working on self-love, and that's what's growing. for some of you, you've adopted a pet recently and that connection is going to grow stronger. if you're crushing on someone right now, there probably won't be any change except for your feelings growing stronger. my advice to you is to decenter this because if you focus completely on that, it'll be really terrible. you are so full of beauty and flame and wonder, and you should harness this energy and create beauty, not look for it elsewhere. time will bring you everything. you deserve a love which knows no bounds, and whether this person is it or not, you must first find that love within. i know a lot of you don't want to hear this, but it's the truth. i would highly suggest trying to talk to this person, though--to find out what they really are. ask deep questions if you're already on a talking basis with them, if not--try to make a friend.

-2. now baby tell me why you've given up on love. it seems to be a sour topic for you that you shy away from. you've done a lot of self-growth in the past ~6 months, and you're farther along on your self-discovery journey than either of these two piles are. for you, you try not to love. a lot of the times, you feel like you are still unseen. this month will bring change to that. i'm not sure what kind of change, i can't exactly tell, but you'll feel a bit more seen than you did before. this may be to personal circumstances, or maybe another person does something--even a simple action--and you realize that, damn, maybe i really am seen. this month will deal with opening up a little bit more to let the love flow in. lol, for pile 1, it's not really time for love, but for you it is; but you've closed all doors to any possible encounters with love. 🤣 listen, i highly suggest doing some exercises for your vulnerability. it's a great step forward, and i think that it could benefit you. if a person comes into your life, let them. but don't be scared to set boundaries and not settle for less.

-3. you have rose-colored glasses, darling. now, don't take this the wrong way. it can be a very great thing, being idealistic--you at your heart are a ruthless optimist and honestly, a little bit naive. you've been dealing with both ups and downs, this past couple of months. there's been some trouble in your family, and in your love life. you're always the one making ends meet in order to benefit mass sums of people. you're awfully responsible and confident, but you're still...you. you still need rest. i feel like most of you are women--babies, you do NOT need to be the men in the relationship, if you're a masculine woman, disregard this. but for a lot of you, you're stuck in this disbalanced masculine energy. i don't really like talking about the divine feminine and divine masculine and whatnot, but for you i feel like it's important. girl, put yourself FIRST. i promise you there's a man/woman/person out there who's gonna bring you flowers every damn day of the week, you just gotta put yourself first. start to say NO. you might meet someone new in march. someone unexpected. i know you've been taught that change is bad, but in this case, just wait a little bit. baby steps, darling. baby steps.

[itsnesss]

𝐚 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 | peter sutherland × fem!reader

summary | on valentine's day, peter steps out of his usual serious agent role and expresses his feelings for you

warnings | fluff, romance, slow burn, lighthearted moments

word count | 2.3 k

author's note | it would help me a lot if you liked, commented and reposted so that more people read what I write and don't forget to follow me, thanks ᡣ𐭩

It’s a cold February morning, the kind where you can see your breath fogging the air with every exhale. The world outside the window is painted in shades of gray, the occasional snowflake fluttering down, but inside, there’s a warmth you can’t deny. Not from the heater or the fireplace, but from the soft glow of something that’s slowly blossomed between you and Peter.

Peter Sutherland. The ever-determined, unflinchingly serious agent who always had his mind on the mission. But today, something is different. Today, it's just you and him, with the weight of the world momentarily forgotten as you sit in your living room, a simple bouquet of roses lying between you on the coffee table.

It had taken a lot for Peter to come here today, more than he ever cared to admit. He was used to working on his own, to solving problems through logic and reason, not through feelings. But today, Valentine’s Day, he decided to put his well-guarded walls down just a little.

You smile at the sight of him, sitting across from you, looking slightly out of place with his usual serious demeanor softened. The tension from the past few weeks is gone, and something else fills the air, something sweeter and lighter.

"Valentine's Day," you say softly, eyes drifting to the roses, the only evidence of the day. "I never thought you'd be the type to celebrate it."

Peter's eyes flicker to the bouquet, then back to you, his lips curving into a small but genuine smile. "I’m not, usually. But…" He pauses, his gaze lingering on you in a way that makes your heart skip a beat. "I think you deserve more than just a day of 'duty'."

You blink, not sure if you’ve heard him right. "What does that mean?"

He leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he looks at you with an intensity that makes the room feel a little warmer. "It means," he starts, voice soft but steady, "that I’ve spent so much of my life focusing on my job, on missions, on what’s right and wrong in black and white. But today… today is about you. About what I want."

You feel a heat rise to your cheeks, and it's not from the fire behind you. It’s his words. The sincerity. The small gesture of giving you roses. The man who had always been so focused on his work, now completely focused on you.

"You’re not so bad yourself," you tease, your voice playful as you reach for one of the roses. You bring it to your nose, inhaling its sweet scent. "I’m surprised you know how to pick flowers."

Peter chuckles, a low sound that is rare and genuine. "I have my moments." He shrugs, his gaze never leaving you. "I just... didn’t want to be another agent who forgets the important things."

The air between you both feels charged now, the atmosphere heavier in the most beautiful way. It’s strange how quickly things have changed. How you’ve gone from being unsure about him, to being comfortable with him, to now… sitting across from him, with no walls between you. No pretense. Just two people, figuring out what it is they really want from each other.

"Peter…" you say softly, your voice catching in your throat. You weren’t expecting this—this feeling, this quiet promise in the air. "I don’t know what to say.

"You don’t have to say anything." He stands up and walks over to you, his movements slower than usual, more deliberate. His hand extends toward yours, and without thinking, you place your palm in his. It’s warm, grounding, like a promise of something real. "You’ve already said enough."

You look up into his eyes, and for the first time, you see something you hadn’t before: vulnerability. You hadn’t thought it possible for someone like him, someone who lived in the shadows of the world, to ever let down his guard. But here he is, standing in front of you, offering you the most precious thing he has—the truth.

"I’m not perfect," he admits, his thumb gently brushing the back of your hand. "I’ve made mistakes. A lot of them. But when I’m with you, I feel like maybe I could be."

Your heart beats a little faster, and before you can stop yourself, you squeeze his hand. "Peter, you already are."

For a long moment, neither of you speaks. The silence is comfortable, filled with the weight of unspoken words, with everything that hasn’t been said yet, but is understood. You both know this is just the beginning. That the road ahead may not be easy, but it will be worth it. Because, despite everything, you’ve found something here that’s more valuable than any mission, any assignment.

And as you look up at him, his features softened by the light from the fire and the glow of the candles on the table, you can’t help but feel a surge of affection. You never thought you'd be here with him, in this moment, on Valentine’s Day. But somehow, it feels like the only place you’re supposed to be.

"Are you planning on kissing me, or…?" you ask, a little smirk tugging at your lips. His eyes widen, then narrow playfully as he lets out a small laugh.

"Maybe," he says with a grin. "But only if you’re ready."

Before you can respond, he leans down and presses a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. It’s gentle, but it holds so much more than just affection. It’s a promise. A promise that, no matter where life takes you both, you’ll never have to face it alone.

You lean into him, closing the distance as you lift your chin, capturing his lips in a kiss that is slow, sweet, and full of the tenderness you’ve both held back for so long. When you pull away, you can see the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and for a moment, nothing else matters.

"You’re my Valentine," he says softly, as if the words are the most important thing he’s ever said. "And I plan to make sure you know that every day."

You smile, feeling a warmth bloom in your chest. "You already have."

[chippedshake]

My gift for @an-akward-ace as part of the gift exchange :))

@outsiders-gift-exchanges

“Mama?” Darry asks as he creeps out of the hallway and into the living room. Mama’s on the couch, feet tucked underneath her, book in her hands. She looks up and worry crawls onto her face. 

“Darry? What’s wrong?”

He walks up to the couch tentatively and sits down next to her. “Am I a bad person?”

“What?” Mama closes her book and puts it on the couch armrest. “Why would you think that?”

“Sometimes— sometimes I think I don’t…” He looks at her guiltily for a moment before looking away. “Sometimes I think Ponyboy doesn’t love me.”

“Honey,” Mama murmurs, putting her hand on Darry’s shoulder, “Why would you say that?”

“I don’t—” Darry looks down again. “I don’t know. When I told him to go away because I wanted to play with Mark and Andrew he started crying and wouldn’t talk to me for a week. An’ he gets way more mad at me than at Soda but I’m a lot less annoying than Soda.”

Mama runs her hand through Darry’s hair and he curls up against her, just young enough to not be embarrassed. “Oh, Darry, that don’t mean he don’t love you. It just means he gets cranky sometimes. Maybe y’all mess up sometimes, but that don’t mean nothin’. Everyone does.” 

She pauses for a moment. 

“You ever notice that sometimes we’re all real quiet at dinner and Pa an’ me won’t look at each other?” Darry nods slowly. “Love ain’t perfect, and it ain’t about wantin’ to be with someone all the time, or never gettin’ mad. Only place you’ll see that is in the movies.”

Darry nods again, but doesn’t answer. 

“Say— weren’t you reading Ponyboy a story before he went to sleep?”

Darry looks up at her and nods. “We’ve read it a bunch before but he never wants ta read anything else.”

“Does anyone else ever read it to him?”

“The story?” Mama nods. “No. Says he only likes how I read it. But it’s just ‘cause I do more voices than you.”

“How ‘bout walking home from school? Pa could go pick him up in the car, wouldn’t that be faster?”

“Yeah…” Darry’s not quite sure where this is going. “But that way he knows what the city’s like and doesn’t get lost when he’s older and stuff.”

“Right. What about how Ponyboy asked for a football for his birthday even though he’d been talking about that colouring book for months? What about how he won’t go to sleep without a ‘Darry hug’ because he says it’s better than other hugs?”

Darry doesn’t know what to say so he looks down at his hands. 

“Love ain’t perfect, honey. You don’t always wanna be with someone and sometimes you’re gonna get mad and, Dar,—” He looks up at her “ — that’s fine. Love’s in the little things that add up, and yeah, sometimes something’s gonna subtract some, but that don’t take away from all of what you’ve built.” 

…

Darry steps into the house with a loud sigh. 

No one’s around to hear it. 

He can’t be bothered to take his boots off, no matter how much he dreads having to clean the house afterwards, because it’s just grabbing the grocery list and taking off again. 

Just grabbing the gro— oh, shit. Where is it? 

A groan starts poking its way out of Darry’s chest. 

Why him? Why now? Why at the end of the work day, when the only thing keeping him standing is the thought of a bath once he gets back? 

He looks around the same place again, hoping the bright yellow sticky note somehow flew under his radar. 

It didn’t. 

In a couple cabinets, on the floor, inside drawers— by the time Darry’s looked through the whole kitchen, he’s shuffled around so much the floor’s covered with dirt. Because his shoes are still on. Because it was supposed to be quick. Because the list was supposed to be right there and it’s actually a tiny thing and he can probably remember everything anyways but the list needed to be there and he doesn’t have the stupid list and he just want to sleep but he need to make dinner and where the fuck is that list—

“Oh, hey, Darry!” Soda walks in and holds the door for Steve, who comes in behind him. Both their arms are full of groceries. 

Everything that was on the list. 

“Thought we’d get ahead on groceries since your shift’s longer’n normal today.”

Steve doesn’t add anything, but grunts in Darry’s general direction, so he gathers it’s a form of greeting.

“Oh,” Darry says, trying to keep his voice calm and hide the fact that he was about to break down because of something as stupid as not finding a sticky note. “How much was it?”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it,” Steve says, setting his bag down at the kitchen table. “Old man kicked me out again last week. S’on him.”

…

“Hey, Darry?” Darry stops and turns around from where he was heading towards the kitchen. 

“Yeah, Pone?” 

“Can you stand there for a second and put your hands behind your back?”

Darry stares at him, confused, before doing as he asks. 

“And tilt your head a bit to the right— wait, no, my right, your left.”

A couple moments go by. Ponyboy’s scribbling something in his notebook, looking up at Darry and back down quickly.  

“Can I move now?”

“Just one more second…” He erases something, draws it again, and holds his notebook up next to Darry. “Okay, thanks.”

Darry heads towards him. “Can I see it?”

Ponyboy covers his notebook hurriedly. “When it’s finished.”

“Okay, okay.” Darry holds his hands up in mock innocence.

…

Darry tries not to worry too much about Ponyboy. Their parents were never very controlling, and generally any of them could leave for hours without facing too much questioning. 

He tries not to, but the problem is that Ponyboy never thinks, no matter how much Darry tries to get him to. He’d mouth off to a Soc because he just didn’t notice they had a knife, or walk home all alone at night without realising he was holding a neon sign that said “jump me”. Honestly, even being run over because he didn’t bother to look both ways is an option at this point. 

“We didn’t get into any trouble,” Johnny says. Darry blinks at him. Pony and Johnny have just come back from the drive-in — they went alone this week — and Ponyboy’s gone to his room to get something to show Johnny, who’s wandered into the kitchen to talk to Darry. 

The last time the two of them talked alone must be at least a year ago. 

“Weren’t even any Socs nearby. All in their cars.”

And without another word, Johnny walks out of the kitchen as Ponyboy comes storming back into the living room.

…

“Kicked out again?”

“Got mad at me for bein’ away too much and decided to kick me out.”

“Huh.”

“I saw y’all didn't have any tomatoes so I picked some up on the way. Got a discount, too.”

“Yeah?”

Steve wiggles his fingers. “Five finger discount.”

…

Darrel Shaynne Curtis is defying all the laws of physics and biology because he is utterly dead inside and yet somehow still walking. If he has to take another step his joints will fall apart like rusty gears on an old clock. 

And for some reason his house has to be full of fucking people. 

People he loves, but people nonetheless. 

Annoying people. Loud people. People who apparently do not know the definition of shutting the fuck up. 

No amount of affection for the gang can stop Darry from crossing the line into homicidal if one more person screams across the room for something completely unnecessary. 

“Hey, Superman.” Dally says with a light smirk as he sinks into the couch next to Darry. 

Darry looks up and nods. 

“How ya doin’?” Now here’s the part where Darry’s supposed to say “meh” or “as good as I can be, I guess” or something along those lines. Or he should at least shrug. 

All of that requires energy, though, energy that Darry does not have, so he just hums. 

“Yeah, I get that.” 

Dally stays next to him, quiet and thoughtful for a moment. 

“Hey, y’all wanna go to the drag races?” 

Dally’s question is met with a chorus of whoops that make Darry’s head throb, and in a matter of minutes, the whole gang’s out the door.  

Dallas walks out the door, then strays back in just before the door closes. He turns the lights off and Darry sighs in relief, the pressure finally gone from his eyes. 

He stops again just before stepping out the door and turns back towards Darry.  

“There’s still some cake left in the freezer, I saved ya a couple slices of bread, and Two-Bit left a bit of peanut butter in the jar.”

Darry musters a soft “thanks”, and Dally nods. 

The door closes with a soft click.

…

“Darry!” Darry raises his eyebrows. He’s just closed the door behind him, work boots still on, and Ponyboy’s running towards him with a grin on his face. 

“Why’re you so happy to see me?”

“I finished it!” Darry blinks at him once. Twice.

“What’d you finish?”

“The drawing!”

Ponyboy holds out his notebook, and right there, in the middle of the page, is Darry. He’s made the kitchen doorway vaguely in the background, but it’s in black and white while Darry is in colour. 

And it’s— well, it’s impressive to say the least. Darry knew that Ponyboy liked to draw — always had his notebook out when he got bored of talking to people, sketching something he wouldn’t let anyone see —, but he didn’t know he could draw well. He always assumed it was like when he used to draw as a kid, only he didn’t want to show them anymore.

“This is…” Darry can’t seem to finish the sentence. He looks up and meets Pony’s eyes. “You made it?” Ponyboy nods, excited. “I— Can you show me whenever you draw stuff? In the future?”

Ponyboy’s eyes seem to almost glow. “Yeah, sure.” 

…

“Ponyboy’s gonna tell you he fell down the stairs today, but Justin Lawson pushed him.” Johnny hesitates for a second. “Second one in the phone book, the first one’s a priest.”

“Right. Thanks.” 

…

“How’d ya know I wanted to be alone?”

Dallas cocks an eyebrow. “You ain’t the first.”

…

“Hey, Superman,” Two-Bit says with a grin as he pointedly closes the door behind him. 

“Hey, Two.” The smile that comes with the greeting is second nature, but Darry’s not entirely sure whether that’s from genuine happiness or getting used to pretending he’s okay. 

“How’s it goin’?” He pulls out a chair and sits down in it backwards, arms resting on the backrest. 

Darry sighs with a sarcastic smile, gesturing at the pile of bills in front of him. 

“It that time again?”

“Was that time last week.”

Two-Bit whistles low. “You got enough?”

“Hope so.”

“Well, if you ain’t… I don’t got money I can give you. Sure someone’s got some, though.” He starts looking around, as if he would find someone to jump for money inside the Curtises' house.

“It’s fine, Two. Don’t worry about it.” Maybe Darry’s smile is wearing a bit thin or the exhaustion is clear on his face, because Two-Bit drops it. 

“Alright.” He looks down, dejected, before lighting up again and looking at Darry, all excited again. “Guess what I found at the store today?”

Darry just raises his eyebrows — a form of rebellion, at this point, considering how the whole gang’s started copying Two-Bit and raising just the one — and tilts his head. 

Two-Bit pulls a plastic bag out from behind his chair — how it got there, don’t ask Darry — and grins at Darry. “Lookit what I got.”

It’s a bag of Lay’s, something Darry and Two-Bit had worked together to swipe dozens of times to fuel Darry’s unhealthy obsession, only —

“They make ‘em in barbecue now. Figured we might as well try ‘em out.”

“Yeah?” Darry grins, and this time it’s genuine. 

Before he can get another word out, Two-Bit’s fist comes flying down onto the bag and makes a sound so loud that if he weren’t watching it happen, Darry’d think a gun had fired.  

At least five chips have gone flying, slamming against the wall, and Darry just knows it’s going to be an absolute pain to clean up. 

Then he makes eye contact with Two-Bit and they burst into uncontrollable, stupid laughter. It’s only once they sober up after a couple minutes that Darry realises just how long it’s been since he’s laughed like that. 

…

“What’re you drawing?”

Ponyboy moves aside to show him it. 

“Oh.”

“Don’t wanna forget him.”

…

“I was talkin’ ta Susie the other day an’ she told me there’s this girl in her class that’ll draw ya stuff if ya pay her, and she cost me extra ‘cause she was scared of her mama findin’ out, but tell me this ain’t worth every penny!”

…

“I hate you!” Ponyboy screams as he storms off into his room. Darry just stares after him, frozen in place.

He doesn’t mean it he doesn’t mean it he doesn’t mean it—

But what if he does?

Love’s in the little things, the little things that add up—

But this feels too big, it’s too much to be just a little setback. Because the little things add up but they also subtract and if you put enough of them together—

There’s a soft knock on the door. Darry sits up from where he’d been in starfish position.

“Yeah?”

The door slowly creaks open. A small figure stands behind it.

“Darry?” Ponyboy stands in the doorway, grabbing onto the frame and avoiding eye contact.

“Yeah?”

“Can I come in?” 

Darry crosses his legs and sits up straighter, fully waking up. “Yeah, sure, baby.”

Ponyboy walks in and sits on the edge of Darry’s bed, looking down at the sheets instead of at him. 

“I’m sorry,” he says softly, tugging at the ends of his hair. It’s getting too long, but he refuses to cut the bleach out of it and Darry doesn’t have it in him to force him to. 

“It’s fine,” Darry says on instinct.

“No, it— it really ain’t. We’re not supposed to fight anymore. We’re not supposed to holler at each other and go to sleep mad. But we do it anyway, and it’s like nothing’s changed since—” He can’t finish the sentence, but he doesn’t really need to. 

“Ponyboy…” Darry trails off. What is there to say? Mama would know what to do, she would know what to say so Ponyboy knew that there was a part of Darry’s soul intrinsically tied to his, following him around no matter how far he wandered. 

But Darry doesn’t know how to talk; he hardly knows how to feel. 

Ponyboy looks away from him and stays quiet for a couple moments, playing with the loose strings on Darry’s sheets. 

“Darry?” He looks up.

“Yeah, honey?”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

Darry frowns. “‘Course.”

“And you promise you won’t be mad?” 

“Yeah.”

Ponyboy looks up to catch sight of Darry before his eyes dart away again. 

“Sometimes I— Sometimes I’m scared you don’t love me.” He lets the sentence hang for a couple seconds, lets it fester in the air and seep through Darry’s skin. “I ain’t sayin’ you don’t wanna keep me or that ya don’t care, but I just— I don’t know. Are ya doin’ it all ‘cause you think you should?”

He looks up again — furtive, small, scared — and looks back down at the sheets.  

“God, Pony,” Darry says softly, “‘Course I love ya. Just ‘cause we fight don’t mean nothing.” Ponyboy still won’t meet his eyes. With every second that goes by, the crack in Darry’s heart grows a bit wider. “C’mere.” He pats the spot beside him. 

Ponyboy looks up in surprise. He gets up tentatively and walks over to the other side of the bed, where Darry’s sitting. The moment he’s sat down, Darry wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls Ponyboy towards him. Ponyboy tenses, and for a moment Darry’s sure he’s made a mistake, that this wasn’t what he needed, before he slowly relaxes, his face burrows into Darry’s shoulder — Jesus he’s tall now, he used to barely reach his chest — and he hugs Darry back like he needs it for the first time in… far too long. 

“Love ain’t always pretty, Pony,” Darry whispers into his hair, “It ain’t always perfect and happy and nice, but it’s there. S’why there’s always Pepsi in the fridge and why I always ask where you’re goin’ when you start runnin’ out the door and why Soda and me listen to you talk about your books.” Ponyboy laughs softly, muffled by Darry’s shoulder, and Darry smiles — proud, fond, relieved. “Love ain’t in some big moment, it’s in the little things, so sometimes it can be easy to miss. But it’s there, I promise.” Darry forces himself to pull Ponyboy away from him and take him by the shoulders so they can meet eyes. “It’ll always be there, alright?”

Did I get it right, Mama?

[runningincircl3s]

Nothing Ever After

Noah Sebastian x Reader x Vinny Mauro

The End- Part Two

chapter warning: get the tissues x masterlist

we're finally here. it's the end! i feel like a proud parent and this is my child... but happy valentines day guys!! i spent most of the day adding the finishing touches to this and even though i'm still not completely happy with it i want to post it anyway!! i've also been getting really invested in the next thing i'm working on... which will be revealed on monday :) also for the final chapter i thought i'd share my playlist that i'd have on whilst writing

← Post •••

@/MotionlessInWhiteTea:

Why I think Y/n Y/l/n shouldn’t be working in the scene, a thread

Disclaimer: The majority of this is simply rumours, but there is also photo evidence. Personally I think she has been acting very unprofessionally during this tour and I haven’t seen anyone talk about it. So here’s what I have to say.

Your throat dried up, the world around you stopped moving, yet you felt dizzy. This wasn't real, was it?

1/7 First of all, she only got this job because of her connections to Bad Omens- being friends with Bryan. Not because of her skill level or because she’s a good photographer (debatable). I bet she hassled them until she got what she wanted

2/7 Now what I really want to talk about is her unprofessional relationships with the bands. There’s been a picture circulating of her kissing Vinny (miw) at what appeared to be a family party? His family’s party. Why was she even there? [insert picture]

3/7 But this isn’t all, look at the dress she’s wearing in that photo, and then this one [insert picture of you and Noah and the record label party] it’s the same dress. This means people can't say "maybe it was someone who looks like her?" No. it WAS HER

4/7 And even just LAST NIGHT, she was spotted with Noah at a concert, I’ve seen pictures, everyone’s seen the pictures. I’ve also been told by multiple people she was even seen kissing and making out with him towards the end of the show? WHAT THE HELL

5/7 She seems really close with Vinny, have you seen the way she lights up when she talks about him in the interview she did at the festival they played at? and she made excuses to talk about him? They’re always spending time together, and if you looked closely in the background of this picture Vinny posted on his story, he was in his hotel room but you can clearly see her stuff on the bed. I can only assume this means they’ve been sleeping together? [insert picture]

6/7 A lot of people have been speculating, saying she’s been seen leaving hotel rooms with Noah and Vinny on separate occasions, do they know about this? Or is she just the band’s shared groupie who happens to own a camera?

7/7 I really don’t think this is very professional and it needs addressing. She needs to sort this out before even considering a career in the scene- if she’ll have a career since this will forever be haunting her. And, I for one will not be listening to the bands who choose to support her!

You couldn't believe what you were reading.

Everything you had been hiding for weeks, months, was just out there. On the internet.

“Fuck, y/n have you seen this?” Ricky rushes over in a panic, showing you the same post, but you can’t say anything. You don't react.

You swallow hard, standing up from your chair in an attempt to leave, but that was made impossible.

“What’s going on?” Noah asks, rather concerned as comes up behind you, putting an arm around your shoulder.

He catches a glimpse of the picture of you kissing Vinny on Rick’s phone. You feel Noah’s body stiffen all of a sudden, and you turn to look up at him with tears in your eyes, you swallow back the lump in your throat as you shake your head. 

“Noah…” 

“No." He lets go of you. "Ricky, can I?” He nods to his phone, and Rick hands it over to Noah.

You stand there frozen as he scrolls through the post. You hear his breathing become heavier, rougher, the more he read. You could feel the anger, the betrayal, the disappointment almost radiating off of him.

In a desperate attempt, you reach out for him, stumbling over your words.

“I... I can explain…” You stuttered. 

“Oh, you can?” Noah raised his eyebrows, looking down at you with an expression you had never seen on him before, “What the fuck is there to explain?!”

“But…”

“No!” He shouted, and you could see his eyes fill with tears, “I knew it all along. I fucking knew it!" He scoffed, a humourless laugh falling from his lips, "You’ve been lying to me. For three goddamn months?! And this is how I find out?!"

There was nothing you could do, nothing you could say.

"And you had the fucking audacity to tell me you loved me last night? Was that just a lie too? Huh?”

“No!” You sobbed, covering your mouth with your hand, “I was going to tell V-”

“I don’t care. I don't fucking care! I trusted you. Y/n, I trusted you. You know exactly how my last relationship ended, and you still do this to me? If that isn’t the biggest fuck you then I don’t know what is.” 

“Can I please have a chance to explain-”

“No! Nothing you can do or say will fix the fact that you’ve been screwing him the entire time we’ve been together!”

“Hey,” Angela piped up, “The two of you were never actually together.”

“That’s not the point, and stay out of this, this is between us." Noah points at you, "You have told me time and time again that there was nothing going on between you and Vin, you were insisting you were just friends, but you were just lying straight to my face! The both of you! I was stupid enough to believe you because I loved you!” 

“Noah, I was scared!” You cry, “It wasn't meant to happen and then... I couldn't stop and... I was scared I’d lose you if you found out! I didn't want-” 

“So I wasn’t good enough for you?” He scoffed, throwing his head back in anger, running a shaky hand through his hair, “I wasn’t enough?”

“No! Noah, please, can we go somewhere else and talk about this?”

“No. You’ve said enough. You've done enough.” He said, shaking his head. You watch a stray tear roll down his cheek, and you feel your heart break into a million pieces. “We’re done, whatever we are, whatever you thought we were, it’s over. I’ve spent years protecting myself from this, because this isn’t the first time I’ve been lied to like this, and you know it. I can’t believe you.”

And with that, he took his keys and left. You wanted to chase him out, follow him and apologise, but your legs wouldn't take you, leaving you to cry your heart out in Angela’s arms. 

“What the fuck was that?” Ryan asked, as the others all stared.

"I think the party's over." Rick sighed, "We'll be lucky if the tour isn't over."

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

@/badomensofficial

We regret to announce that, due to personal circumstances within the band, we will not be performing for the last two nights of the Touring The End of The Concrete Jungle Tour. We are so sorry to be announcing this on the date of one of the shows, but this decision was incredibly difficult, but it is necessary for us to prioritise the well-being of our members at this time.

We deeply apologise to everyone who was looking forward to seeing us and appreciate your understanding and support. Motionless in White will be playing as scheduled, but we won't be there.

We’ll be back as soon as we can to make it up to you, but in the meantime we’re also working on our next record. We will see you again, friends. 

With love,

Nicholas, Jolly and Folio 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You stared at the post through swollen eyes, having been up most of the night crying again. After Noah left the party, he didn't answer his phone, he hasn’t replied to anybody’s texts, and nobody knew where he had gone. 

He was kind enough to dump your bags outside the venue, from the night before. You collected them as Shae drove you to the hotel after Rick called off the party.

You couldn’t believe what happened that night, the majority of it felt like a blur, you barely remember what the tweet said, but you had to sign out of all your accounts because the messages you were receiving weren’t the kindest, and you weren't in the best place to be reading them.

Your plans for the future, to move in with Noah, was seemingly thrown out of the window, you were so glad you didn’t tell Andy you were backing out.

You were back to square one again, wondering if this was really what you wanted. 

As you rolled over in your bed again to charge your phone, you hear a knock at your door. You didn’t want to answer it, you didn’t want to face anybody today. 

“Y/n! I know you’re awake!” It was Angela, “And I know this is your room!”

Sighing, you got out of bed and opened the door for her. 

“What’s up?” You asked as she carefully shut the door behind her. 

“What’s up is I just walked in on an old guy screwing his wife! I thought your room was on the fourth floor and the door was slightly open so-“

“Angela,” you frowned, “I know you came to check up on me, I’m okay. I just need some space.”

“Oh… That’s okay!” She smiled, “I wanted to check up on you, nobody's heard from you yesterday and you just left so suddenly that night, I had to fill Vinny in on what happened so expect a visit from him when he finally wakes up.”

“Great.” You frown, “Did the guys… Say anything?”

“What do you mean?” She asked. 

“Do they all hate me?” You felt your bottom lip quiver as you asked her, and her eyes softened as she pulled you in for a hug. 

“No! Of course not!” She reassured you, “All the Motionless guys are on your side, baby, you and Noah weren’t exclusive, therefore you were allowed to see other people. Bad Omens however… Jolly’s pretty pissed off, and Bryan.”

“Bry?”

“They don’t want to see their friend hurt.” She explains, stroking your hair, “They’ll come around eventually. The rest don’t really care, it’s none of their business anyway.”

“How’s Vin?” You ask.

“What do you mean?”

“Does he feel guilty too? He was in on it, he lied to Noah for me.”

“I think so- What’s that?” She asked, looking over at your phone on the nightstand.

“Bad Omens have pulled out.” You frown, “There’s only two nights left, I'm guessing Noah's gone off the rails or something.”

“Shit, really? I hope he’s okay, he was in quite a state.”

“I know, Ang. It keeps me up, he’s all I can think about…” You sigh, “I told him after the concert that I wanted us to really give it a go, I saw a future with him... I was going to tell Andy I couldn’t make the tour with them and-”

“Andy?” She furrowed her brows, “Andy as in…?”

“Andy from Black Veil.” You nodded, “When I went to the record label party with Noah and the guys I met him and he said he’s seen my work and wondered if I was available to come on tour with them in a few weeks.”

“What?” Her jaw dropped, “Does Vin know this?”

“No… I haven't had the chance to tell him yet.” You frown, “Why would it bother him?”

“Well…” She hesitated for a moment, “I think you should go and talk to him.”

“Why? What’s he said?”

“Nothing… I think he just…" She held her hands up in defeat, "I can’t, I promised I wouldn’t say anything.” 

You nodded your head, looking around the room for your hoodie. 

“Do you know what room he’s in?”

“216, him and Rick are sharing though which might be a problem.”

“I don’t care anymore, Ang, everything's out now, I’ve got nothing left to hide.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You knocked on Vinny’s hotel door, staring down at your feet as you waited for him to open it. 

“What are you doing here?” Ricky asked, surprised to see you.

“Can I speak to Vinny?” You asked, clearing your throat. 

“He’s in the shower,” Ricky said, opening the door for you, “I’m about to go out and get a coffee, I guess you can sit and wait for him.” 

“You guess?” You smiled faintly.

Ricky smiled back before slipping his shoes on. 

“Just don’t fuck on my bed, please. It’s all I ask.” 

“That’s not what I’m here for...” You shake your head, “I just wanted to talk to him after the other night.” 

“Has anyone heard from Noah yet?”

“No,” you shake your head, “And if they did I’m sure they wouldn’t tell me. Not even Bryan’s talking to me at the moment.” 

“Shit,” Rick frowned, “Look, if it’s any consolation, we’re on your side. You had every right to have fun and mess about with other people if you and Noah weren’t anything serious, I get he’s pissed about the lying though.” 

“I know, I’m sorry.” 

“Hey, it’s not me you need to apologise to,” he chuckled, “See you later.” 

“Bye, Rick.” 

You sat in silence for a couple minutes, waiting until you heard the shower turn off. You thought of what you would say to Vinny, what even was there to say?

“Oh, hi,” he smiled as he walked out of the bathroom, one towel wrapped around his hips as he dried his curls with another, “How are you doing?”

“Not too good,” you sigh, “You?”

“I feel awful.” 

“I just keep thinking to myself… What if I just kept it all professional? Why couldn’t I have just controlled myself? Now I’ve lost... Everyone!” You sob. 

“You haven’t,” his voice softened, “You’ve still got the guys, Angela... Me. I’m not going anywhere.” 

“But Vinny…” You look up at him through teary eyes, and he could tell where this was going. 

He shook his head. 

“No. No, don’t do this.”

“I've been thinking-"

"Don't you fucking..."

"You deserve better, Vinny.” You swallow hard, fighting back tears, “I’m so sorry… For everything I’ve put you through. You didn’t deserve it. You’re a great guy, you’re probably my favourite person I’ve ever met, you mean the world to me Vin, but I put you through hell and for what?”

“And I knew what I was getting into, fuck I’m getting deja vu here,” he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, but to no avail, “I couldn’t have just ignored you, y/n. Not when I fell in love with you the first time I ever saw you. It would've been impossible.” 

“What?” 

“Wasn’t it obvious?” He chuckled. 

“I… Vinny... you…?”

“Remember that first night, the party, when I spilled your drink? I saw you and that guy, I was watching you two from across the room, and when I saw him lean in to kiss you…”

“That’s when you knocked into me.” It was like pieces of a puzzle were finally coming together in your brain. 

“Everything could’ve been totally different if that never happened, I never knew it would end like this, and if I could go back in time I'd change it all. I’m sorry.” 

“No, don’t apologise.” 

“I should, though. It’s my fault this all happened in the first place, y/n.” He let out a bitter laugh. “I knew Noah was into you. We all did. But that didn’t stop me, did it?”

You watched him shake his head.

“I watched him fall for you, I saw him with you everyday” Vinny admitted, voice shaking. “And I let it happen anyway. Because I- I was selfish, I couldn’t stop myself. Even when I told myself I should. Even when I knew what it would do to him. I knew it would tear everything apart.” His voice cracked, his eyes welling with tears. “But I did it anyway. Because I wanted you. God, I wanted you.”

Tears slipped down your cheeks as you whispered

“But I was the one who kissed you first.”

Vinny’s lips parted slightly, but he said nothing.

“I knew how I felt about Noah,” you continued, voice shaking. “And yet, I still couldn’t wrap my head around what I felt for you, I still can't now! It's something I’ve never felt before. Something I don't understand. It was new and exciting, and I loved every moment I’d spend with you,” You exhaled a shuddering breath. “Vin, I love everything about you.”

You got up and Vinny took a step closer, but you shook your head, pressing a trembling hand to his chest.

“And that’s what makes this so fucking cruel.”

His brows furrowed. 

“Y/N…”

Tears blurred your vision as you looked at him, memorising every detail, his parted lips, his glossy eyes, the crease between his brows.

“I love you,” you choked out. “And yet I still let myself hurt you.”

Vinny shook his head, reaching out to grab your wrist. 

“No. No, you didn’t-”

“I did,” you sobbed. “I did. I ruined everything. And I can’t fix it, Vin. I can’t. I don’t deserve to…" Your eyes met his, before whispering, "I don’t deserve you.”

His grip on you tightened. 

“Don’t say that. Don’t fucking say that.”

Your chest ached with the weight of it all.

“Through everything, you were willing to stay by my side. Even when I had to push you away, you understood. No other man on this planet would’ve done that.” 

“It’s because I love you.” He said, almost pleading with you, “I realise now that I was willing to do whatever you wanted me to because I just wanted you to be happy. If that was with Noah, then I would’ve wished you two the best of luck. If you needed time, I was happy to wait. I would've waited as long as you needed, I just...”

“Vinny…” 

“No… I think I should give you your birthday gift now…”

You watched him dig through his suitcase before pulling out a small box. 

“I didn’t have time to wrap it or anything.” He apologised, handing it over to you as he quickly got dressed.

As you opened it, you felt your heart sink even further. 

It was a key. 

“Wh- What’s this for?” You ask, taking it out of the box. 

“It’s a key.”

“I can see that,” you laughed through your tears, “Where to?”

“My house.” He said, “This is going to sound so stupid to say out loud given everything that just happened, but I just assumed in the end you’d pick me over Noah. Just because… I thought if he really meant something to you then you’d drop me, but you never did. I’m sorry, it seems stupid now, but I was going to ask if after the tour finishes you’d maybe want to move in? I need a new roommate, and there’s nobody else I’d be able to live with besides you. And our photographer’s pretty much quit so I was going to suggest you join us full time.” 

“I can’t do this.” You say, shaking your head and heading for the door.

You still haven't told him.

“It’s not you Vin, I promise.”

Before you could go anywhere, he caught your wrist. 

“What do you mean?” His whole body went rigid.

“I’m so sorry, Vinny…” You forced yourself to swallow past the lump in your throat. “I- I’m going back on the road… with Black Veil Brides. In three weeks.”

His face fell.

His grip on your wrist slackened, and you could feel the moment his heart shattered.

“…You’re what?”

“I didn’t get a chance to tell you, Vin, I’m so sorry.” Your voice cracked. “I’m so, so sorry.”

You reached for him, desperate, but he took a slow step back, shaking his head.

For the first time since you’d met him, Vinny truly had nothing to say.

And somehow, that hurt more than anything.

“Vin?”

“How long have you known this?”

“...About a month.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me? Not once did it cross your mind?” He spat.

“I didn’t think it would matter.”

Vinny shook his head. 

“What happened to wishing me the best?” You raised an eyebrow, your voice quieter now, “This is my dream, Vinny. I’m sorry I didn’t consider you in it.” 

“No.” Vinny swallowed, nodding his head, “I’m sorry. I’m happy for you, it’s just a bit of a shock, that’s all. I’m so happy for you… I just wished you would’ve told me.” 

You smiled faintly. 

“I should’ve. I'm sorry.” You said, before reaching out for his hand. “You’re too good to me, Vinny. You've but nothing but good to me. Maybe in another life, another time, things would’ve been different. Maybe we would’ve met earlier, found each other sooner. Things would’ve been less complicated, I would’ve been able to give you my all.”

“W-We can still try.” Vinny offered, but you shook your head. 

“I think I need to clear my head first, Vin. It’s been nothing but chaos for the last three months, I need to clear my name and focus on my career and make that my main priority before anything else.”

“I’ll always be here for you, y/n.” He said, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb, you could tell this was a front, and he was holding back on his real emotions, “Whether it’s just as your friend, or more, I’ll always be here.” 

“Thank you.” You smiled, your voice breaking as he pulled you in for a hug. “Really, Vinny. Thank you.” 

The two of you pulled away, and you wiped the tears from your eyes. 

“So... Do you know what you're going to do about Noah?”

“Hm?”

“Are you going to try and fix things?”

“I want us to be on good terms, I want us all to be on good terms with each other. But I think it’ll take a while for him to come around. I hurt him really badly, I hurt both of you, and I understand that he needs space, it’s a lot for him to process.”

Vinny nodded his head. 

“Let things cool down first, that’s a good idea.” 

You stood there in front of him, a comfortable silence in the room. Until he he spoke again,

“Have you heard we’ve got a new song coming out?” Vinny asked, “I wrote it, or the majority of it.”

“No!” You raise an eyebrow, “What’s it called?” 

“I think we’ve decided on Nothing Ever After.” 

You furrow your eyebrows, but you don’t question it.

“Sounds cool, do you know when it's coming out?”

“At the end of the week, but we’re playing it tomorrow night for the first time… But there’s something I need you to know, and I don’t want to upset you at all.” 

“What is it?” 

“It’s kind of about us… About you.” 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

After going back to your room, you booked a flight home for that night, despite Vinny's attempts to keep you.

You said your goodbyes to all the guys, Angela, and Vinny, they still didn’t want to let you go, but they understood your decision.

"We'll miss you." Chris smiled, pulling you in for a hug, "I know you weren't originally supposed to be our photographer, but you've really done a great job."

"Thanks, Chris." You smiled, afraid to say anything to anyone else. Especially Vin.

Ryan drove you to the airport, which you thanked him for. It was even tough to say goodbye to him, and the two of you didn't even spend that much time together.

As you walked through the airport you were almost waiting to see Noah, you wouldn’t admit it, but you were wishing he’d come running in, call your name and you'd go running into his arms.

But there was nobody. Nobody to stop you, nobody to tell you this wasn’t how it was supposed to end.

You checked in, went through security, and found yourself sitting at the gate, staring at the stupid pet rocks Vinny had given you.

Your fingers curled around the one painted like him, gripping it so tightly your knuckles turned white. You had no idea what you were doing. If this was the right choice. If you were running away again.

Maybe in another life, you would’ve stayed.

Maybe in another life, you would’ve picked Vinny from the start.

Maybe in another life, Noah would’ve fought for you.

But in this one, you knew you had to let them both go.

Once you were sat in your seat, preparing to switch your phone off and sleep on the way home, you received a text. 

Hey, y/n! Hope you’re doing well! I’m so sorry to have to do this, but our management said we can’t take you with us on our upcoming tour due to the recent news about your relationships with members of the bands you’ve been working with. I just need you to know, this isn’t a decision I’ve made, I was against this as I would’ve loved you to join us, but it’s out of my control. I’m so sorry, y/n, but I wish you the best.

Stay in touch. Andy 

You felt like you had been shot in the chest.

As if things couldn’t get any worse.  

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“So, I was thinking… We should play the new song tomorrow. I know I said save it for the next tour but what do you think?” Vin asked as he wiped his arms down with a towel, trying to get off the remainder of his body paint before getting changed. “It’s the last night, let’s give ‘em something new.”

“I like your thinking.” Chris smiled, “But I also know what the true meaning behind this song is, even if you won’t admit it"

Vinny didn’t respond, just kept scrubbing at the black paint on his forearms.

"Are you sure you’re ready to put this out whilst everything’s still so raw?”

Vinny let out a slow exhale and shrugged.

“I don’t care, to be totally honest.” He finally met Chris’ gaze in the mirror. “Let them think what they want to think.”

Justin, who had been half-listening while scrolling on his phone, turned around.

“Wait. I know you helped write the song, but… is it really about her?”

Vinny tossed the towel into his laundry bag.

“Maybe.” He smirked, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Maybe not.”

Later that night, on the bus, he lied in his bunk with his phone in his hands, staring at your contact name.

He shouldn’t text you.

But he wanted to. Wanted to check if you got home safe. If you were okay. If you were happy, or as happy as you could be. He also wanted to give you a heads-up about tomorrow night. Maybe even ask for permission.

His fingers hovered over the keyboard before he finally gave in.

Hey, I hope you got home safe. Just know that while you’re sleeping happily in your own bed, I’m out here getting back pain from the bunks lmao.

We’re thinking about playing that new song tomorrow night. Would it be okay?

You walked into your bedroom after brushing your teeth, settling under the covers before reaching for your phone on the nightstand. You saw you had two messages from Vinny.

You hesitated before typing back.

Surely, I should be the first to hear it.

Vinny stared at your reply. His thumb hovered over the screen.

Should he?

You were gone. And for all he knew, he might never see you again.

He sighed, then hit send.

[1 Video Attachment]

I know my singing isn’t the best, but I recorded this the other week. I’ve been writing lyrics ever since I first felt I was losing you to Noah, not that you were ever mine to lose. At first, it was just random lines, but then I remembered we had that track from Illenium. Chris hadn’t worked on lyrics for it yet, so I showed him what I had. He loved it. So with his help, we turned it into something real.

Please don’t get mad. I just needed to get it out of my head.

…

The next day, you still hadn’t opened the video. Or even replied.

You couldn’t.

It sat there in your messages, taunting you. Every time you picked up your phone, your eyes flickered to the notification, to his name. But your thumb always hesitated, hovered, then swiped away.

Instead, you went about your day, throwing yourself into anything that could possibly serve as a distraction. You practically begged your manager to take you back, pleaded for any opportunity. You needed something for the meantime as you had been in contact with a few bands, asking about work, but deep down you knew the truth. No one would call. No one would offer you work.

Not after everything.

The entire scene knew by now, for all the wrong reasons. You weren’t a photographer anymore, you were a fucking scandal, a lesson to be learned, a warning of what not to do.

By the time you got home, you felt hollow. The weight of exhaustion pressed down on you, but you didn’t sleep, how could you? You stared at your ceiling, phone clutched in your hand, Angela’s texts illuminating the dark room.

He’s not okay.

You stared at the message for a long time.

I’ve never seen him like this. He barely talked before the show. He’s throwing himself into playing like it’s the only thing keeping him standing. I want to help but I don't know how.

Your breath hitched.

You wanted to type something back, anything, but what could you even say? That it wasn’t your problem anymore? He should get over it?

That it was easier this way?

Lies. Every single one of them.

Angela’s next text sent a chill up your spine.

They’re about to go on.

Your heart lurched knowing that song was going to be played at this show and you still hadn't heard it.

Your fingers hovered over Vinny’s contact. You could ignore it. You should ignore it.

But you didn’t.

Instead, with a shaky breath, you tapped the message thread and pressed play.

Vinny was sat at a piano?

Your breath stuttered.

Since when did he play?

He didn’t look at the camera. His head was bowed, fingers ghosting over the keys. His voice was quiet, almost hesitant, but steady.

But his words hit you like a punch to the stomach.

If you fall, then I will too, into nothing ever after. Do we have to face the truth, or look away, neglect the wounds? All the warning signs we refused to see, like a hurricane that’s drowning me.

The breath left your lungs.

You clenched your jaw, curling your fingers into your palm. The phone shook slightly in your grip.

So we build it up just to tear it down But the pieces don’t fit now. We’re falling apart, we’re fading away Pretending the damage doesn’t matter.

It hurt.

Not because of his voice, but because of the truth in his words. And knowing he had written this.

You had both caused this.

You pressed the phone against your chest, squeezing your eyes shut. You couldn't listen to the rest.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, how long you tried to swallow down the lump in your throat.

Then your screen lit up again.

Angela.

They just announced the new song.

You didn’t move.

Chris just said the title.

You didn’t need to read the next text.

You knew what it was called.

You knew exactly what it was called.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

On stage, the lights pulsed as the crowd roared and cheered.

Vinny sat behind his kit, head down, drumsticks clenched so tight his hands trembled.

We've been dreaming wide awake, feeding poison to each other. It's too hard to walk away, 'cause it's easier to suffer.

He should’ve done everything differently.

He should’ve fought harder. He should've tried harder.

But it was too late.

"Everybody fucking JUMP!" Chris shouted out to the crowd.

The floor of the venue shook. The crowd screamed, fists in the air, bodies moving to the music, completely unaware of the war raging inside the mind of the man behind the drums.

Vinny slammed into the drums like his life depended on it. Like if he just hit hard enough, he could beat the pain out of his own chest. Hit after hit, faster, louder, pouring every ounce of frustration, heartbreak, and regret into the set, until his vision blurred.

Until he felt something hot and wet hit his hands.

Tears.

He barely noticed at first.

But Angela did.

She saw everything.

The way his head dropped lower. The way his shoulders curled in. The way his hands trembled between hits.

The song was coming to its climax, but Vinny didn’t feel the energy of the crowd anymore.

He felt his own heart breaking all over again.

We're fallin' apart, we're fading away Pretending the damage doesn't matter. Ignoring the scars, but now it's too late We settle for nothing ever after...

Nothing.

The lights pulsed red.

His chest felt hollow, his head spun.

And still, he played.

Even as his drumsticks cracked under the force of his grip. Even as the tears blurred his vision. Even as he felt like he was seconds away from shattering completely.

Because that’s all he could do.

Play until there was nothing left.

Play until he felt something.

Play until the past was nothing more than an echo in the back of his mind.

Play until he forgot.

But how could he forget?

How could he forget the way you looked next to him in bed in the mornings, hair a tangled mess, eyes still heavy with sleep as you blinked up at him like you weren’t quite sure if you were awake yet?

How could he forget the way you used to look in his hoodies, when you'd steal one and curl up beside him, your warmth pressing into his side like you belonged there?

How could he forget the way he made you laugh, a sound so full of life that it made his chest ache?

How could he forget the way you looked at him?

Like he was the only thing in the world that mattered.

Like you loved him.

But if you loved him, why did you leave?

Why was it so easy for you to walk away while he was still here, drowning in everything you left behind?

Why did it feel like he was the only one who couldn’t move on?

We settle for nothing...

And as the song finally came to an end, he let himself breathe.

There would be no more hiding. No more looking over his shoulder, waiting for Noah’s glare. No more having to bite his tongue.

It was out now and he didn't care.

Because now he had nothing left to lose.

Ever after.

--------------------------

i am so so sorry to everyone who was excited to find out who she ends up with but the title of the fic is nothing ever after... it was always going to end this way :') BUT if you're still here reading this i'm going to spoil something. it's not over. i have 2 sequels for this fic. TWO!! ONE FOR THE VINNY GIRLIES. ONE FOR NOAH GIRLIES!! i'm already on chapter 15 of the vin fic (which is literally insane but i've been writing it on and off for two months now) and i'm on chapter 5 of the noah one which i finally started last week, but i know there are literally NO fics for vinny so that was kinda my priotity :) THANK YOU FOR READING AND IM SORRY FOR THE ENDING LMAO I LOVE YOU!! <33

@rumoured-whispers @bloody-spades @lma1986 @thisbicc @dominuslunae @miss570 @miamore0570 @jilliemiw86 @itsyaboinoah @kait16xo @discocowgirly @rainy-darling

[factual-fantasy]

24 Asks! Thanks ya'll! 🐼

@holly-opal-2 (Sorry for the late reply!)

Aw <:( I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope that doesn't happen again.

Also of course they are! :}} I have always considered them as such 💞

Thank you! Happy (late) Valentines day! :DD

@stargirldrawsx3

Man, I feel you there. I'm sorry you weren't able to study. I hope things go well for you 🙏

@narrator-girlart

I saw Markiplier play it some weeks ago, but mostly forgot about it.. I was surprised to see it gain such traction on Tumblr. Maybe I'll have to go rewatch those videos and figure out why people love it so much :00 (I cant remember the events of the game 💀)

@dreamweave01

That could work!! :DDD

(ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!😭😭💞💞💞 )

Yeahhh.. I have been battling some health problems for almost a year now. Trying my best to work on it but thing's aren't going so well. <://

Thank you very much though, I hope the same for you! :))

@milk-powrit

Tom Nook is an angel, the "only good landlord" he's been called. And I agree! This might explain why though I didn't read all the way through- just skimmed over it and thought "yeah I think this has the right points"

@necropencil (Referencing this post)

AAA THANK YOU!! :DD

(I am also slowly going insane thanks to Wheeljack XDD)

@badlyblurry

XDD Well its like they say, great minds think alike! Also thank you so much!! :DDDD💞💞💞

AAAAA thank you!! :DD Or- you're welcome? <XDD

@shyzonkstudentlawyer

Oh wow, welcome back! :DD And thank you! I'm trying to try to work on my health and make improvements where I can manage it.. so far things have uh.. Well, it could be worse I suppose!😅

Also AAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU!! :DDD I'm so glad to hear you like what I've made! :DDDD

Now for you questions...

When it comes to the Welcome Home stuff, just imagine our world through a puppet/sesame street style show lens. They have the same food but its all colorful and has silly names. Their trees are like ours but they're crazy colors and grow fantasy fruit. Their technology develops like ours but its all colorful and silly. Etc, Etc-

Now for TADC... I hadn't actually thought about it <:0 maybe Sneemos jester hat things would flail around :0 I haven't thought about it otherwise though😔

Lastly, PFFF XDDD

(Item-dying woes post in ask)

😔You feel my pain.. I feel your pain........

@wolfie-777

:000! You heard it here folks! I'm silly!

She always looks lovely! :))

@tearsofsolace

AAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! :DDD🥰🥰💞💞💞💞

@eggswastaken

XDD That I did!

..Well, I actually got into it back in 2020-- but recently I have dragged myself back into the fandom a bit. 😂 The biggest obstacle I have to rejoining the fandom fully is just making time to sit down and rewatch the show.

I have such a hard time switching tasks and just doing something 💀 but hopefully I'll get there soon! <:)))

@minnesotamedic186

@little-goober

Oh yeah, sorry! I have very bad memory 😅 I can only really remember people by their profile pictures.

Also thank you so much! :)))

Thank you so much!! 🥰🥰

@bluetootsiepop

My advice is to study references closely. When it comes to making faces up/drawing faces without a reference? Like if its an OC? I'm afraid I cant think of any advice <:( I struggle with that a lot too. 😔

(Also thank you so much!! :DD )

@ourlifestooshort

I have drawn them, but I don't feel comfortable sharing my ref sheets.. Sorry! <:/

I looked up Tailgate with no mask and I will never sleep well again 💀

Also feel free to tell me anything you want about the comics! I don't plan on reading them 😔 I only plan on rewatching Transformers: Prime.

@bitesyoubitesyouchomp

SCEAMSSSS THANKYOUUU 😭😭 THAT'S ALL SO SWEET IM IN TEARS💞💞💞

@beryl-shade

Imagine if my blood was blue XD I'd be a transformer!

[boxboxblog]

What To Expect From 2025

Hello my friends, it's been a while. Sorry for the lack of posting, decided to take a break along with the drivers during our off-season, but as the weeks creep closer and anticipation grows, we must start to rev up for the first day of testing. As such, i wanted to do a little deep dive into what changes or special things to look forward to in this upcoming F1 season.

Some New Regulations

Heavier Cars: Starting 2025 the minimum weight for F1 cars will be around 2 kg heavier than they were in the previous season. This regulation change comes with another regulation change, one that has to do with driver wight. The old rule used to be that drivers must be at minimum 80 kgs, and has been switched to 82 out of concern for taller drivers (and probably also due to the fact that the average height for drivers has gone up considerably in the past few years). While this may seem like a small thing, it has impacts because drivers who were previously encouraged to hit that low weight so they could be faster will have a little bit less pressure.

Flex-Wing Restrictions: Does anyone remember the 'mini-DRS' that McLaren had for the 2024 season? Yes, the little flexible wing that allowed them to gain massive amounts of speed in the straights has been officially declared illegal. The new regulation states that the minimum gap in the rear wing will be decreased from 10-15mm to 9.4-13mm. I am very curious to see how this effects the performance of the McLaren car come the first race, it was quite clear that the team lost their dominant momentum once they got rid of it last year.

Driver Cooling Systems: Good news for everyone who felt concern during any of the wildly hot races that had drivers vomiting in the past few years, a new regulation has passed that states that a driver cooling system must be in place temperatures go over 30.5 degrees celsius. It will be interesting to see how well this helps (hopefully a lot).

No More Fastest Lap Point: A sad day for anyone who enjoyed seeing drivers push their cars to the limits. The fastest lap point is officially gone, which means we might see drivers keep it calm toward the end of races now.

Setting the Grid: This one is interesting, and is most likely due to what happened in Brazil 2024. Anyone who watched all of that live remembers the worry you felt watching the drivers qualify that Sunday morning in terrible conditions, and this new regulation could prevent that. It states that if a qualifying to set the grid is impossible, the starting will be determined by championship standings. If it is too early in the season, it will be up to the stewards to decide how it sets (whatever that means).

"Driver Behavior": I am sure everyone has heard of this one, and I will not dive too deeply into all the ins and outs. Just know that drivers are pretty much flat out not allowed to curse, make political statements, yell, express frustration, or getting anywhere close to any sort of 'bad misconduct' without incurring massive fines, or suspensions, or even a docking of championship points. We will see how this one goes when the season starts.

Some New Team Dynamics

One thing to look forward to is the massive shift the entire grid has done. Only two teams retained both of their drivers, McLaren (Piastri and Norris) and Aston Martin (Alonso and Stroll), and we have rookies on top of rookies to go along with that. Really tells you how much of F1 is musical chairs in truth.

Hamilton and Leclerc with Ferrari:

A dynamic that is bound to be interesting. When two number one drivers are on one team it tends to make sparks fly, but perhaps that won't be the case with these two. Both are rather mature people and drivers, and for the past two years Hamilton has played second driver to Russell after all. So I think honestly there may be some moments on track, but they will work well together.

2. Ocon and Bearman with Haas:

This one will also be interesting, in my grand opinion. On Ocon's side, he has switched over to Haas after years with Alpine (not so great years at that), and now he is the senior driver for the first time ever. For Bearman, everyone knows how well he can race an F1 car, so I wonder how Ocon will react to being second fiddle (to a rookie this time), which no doubt be will be.

3. Bortoleto and Hulkenberg with Sauber:

This one I feel like will go really well. Hulkenberg knows how to be a team player, and is generally a nice guy. On top of that he has many years of experience, and will be a great asset to help build his rookie teammate up. For Bortoleto's part, he is an extreme talent who just came off winning the 2024 F2 season. I think in truth Sauber has one of the best line-ups of the midfielders.

4. Lawson and Verstappen with Red Bull:

Lawson will either be chewed up and spit out by Verstappen, or wholeheartedly ignored. Verstappen is very obviously the first driver, completely undisputed, and apparently Lawson has agreed to that. But how many times have we seen a hungry rookie ignore that fact? *cough cough* Charles Leclerc *cough cough*. All I do know if taht both drivers have a rather aggressive style on and off track, which usually doesn't lend itself to being teammates.

5. Hadjar and Tsunoda with RB:

This one I feel like will be kind of meh. Tsunoda will most likely outscore his teammate, and he has done for the past years, and it will be typical RB things. Hadjar is talented, but Tsunoda is too. The question will be who wants it more.

6. Doohan and Gasly with Alpine:

Another meh one, the only real drama stemming from the fact that Doohan might be an F1 car for a blink of an eye. Alpine has their eyes set on bringing Franco Colapinto in if Doohan doesn't do well by I believe five races, and lets be clear EVERY rookie needs more than five races to get used to racing in F1. So looking at this pairing, I can only hope Doohan performs better than he did in Abu Dhabi. As for Gasly, he will do fine.

7. Antonelli and Russell with Mercedes:

I am split on how they will do. For one, I think Russell is being replaced as the golden boy, which might rub him the wrong way. If he is outperformed by Antonelli, that could spell the end for his time as the first driver. On the other hand he could also massively out do his teammate, which really wouldn't be a surprise. I do wonder if the pressure of being on a top team right away will get to Antonelli.

8. Sainz and Albon with Williams:

Ah, another pairing that has drawn lots of attention. it's not often a driver switches from a top team down to a back of the grid team at so young an age, but when they do it often spells trouble for either them or their new teammate. Some say Sainz will straight away out perform Albon, I think different. It may take him some time to get used to having a slower and less reliable car. There is something to be said about pushing a car harder than it allows, and he will have to override the instincts that he honed at Ferrari for years. We will see though, both are solid drivers.

Reserve Drivers

So we have talked about who will be the drivers, but who will fill in for each team if something were to happen? Something always happens, after all. Not all the teams have announced who their reserve drivers will be, but I will list the ones who have below.

Ferrari: Antonio Giovinazzi and Zhou Guanyu

An interesting lineup in truth. Zhou drove for Sauber/Alfa Romeo for the past couple of years, but was booted to make way for a new lineup. Giovinazzi also drove for Alfa Romeo a wile back, but was well known for... having some difficulties. It would be nice to see Zhou in fast car after being in the slowest car period for his entire career.

2. Mercedes: Valtteri Bottas

And Bottas returns to his old stomping grounds once more. Not a massive surprise, he was a Mercedes driver for years, and it would be fantastic if he was able to fill in for a race or two, just to seem him in a fast care once more. Bottas is a talent, after all, one that has been almost forgotten about after his tenure with Alfa Romeo/Sauber.

3. Aston Martin: Felipe Drugovich and Stoffel Vandoorne

In truth, I am kind of meh on this one. Drugovich was the F2 2022 winner, so he of course is a solid driver (and is most likely destined to come into F1). Vandoorne has been in F1 before, back when McLaren was a midfield team. Both are pretty safe choices for reserve drivers.

4. Alpine: Franco Colapinto, Paul Aron, and Ryo Hirakawa

Ah, as always there is Alpine drama. Three reserve drivers is just greedy in my opinion, and it makes you think that Alpine is probably enjoying the influx of new sponsorship money. As for the drivers, Colapinto is solid, Aron is a fresh face who has done well in the lower categories, and Hirakawa has an immense amount of experience. Really I think they are almost hoping one of their drivers (Doohan) will need to be replaced.

Calendar Changes

Australia back as the opener

Bahrain and Jeddah moved a month later for Ramadan

Suzuka and Shanghai switched up a month

Barcelona now after Monaco

Hungary now last race before summer break

Vegas start time pushed back to 8 PM local time

Spa will replaces Austria as the hosts of a sprint

Important Upcoming Dates!

Haas Filming Day - February 16th

F175 Season Launch - February 18th

Ferrari Event - February 19th

Mercedes Reveal - February 24th

Pre-Season Testing in Bahrain: February 26th-28th

Season Begins in Melbourne: March 14th

That is essentially the basics of what to expect! I will do driver profiles for all the rookies (except for Lawson, who already has one) once we get closer and then do an analysis of testing when that comes.

I am excited for the season to get started, and more than ready to see our cars back on track. Hope you all are too!

Cheers,

-B

[bitchinbarzal]

Wasn’t Expecting That | J Middleton

summary: You weren’t looking for anything serious when you met Jake, but sometimes the best things in life come when you least expect them.

-

You weren’t the kind of person who got swept up in things easily. Caution was your default, patience your virtue. That’s why, when you met Jake at a friend’s birthday party, you didn’t think much of it. He was easy to talk to, funny in a dry, unassuming way, and he had that rugged, effortlessly charming thing going for him. But he was also a professional hockey player, and you’d learned long ago not to trust men who lived their lives in the spotlight.

So, when he asked for your number, you hesitated.

“What, afraid I’m going to text you memes at inappropriate hours?” he teased, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling too “No, I just—” You sighed “You’re busy. I’m busy. Not really looking for anything serious right now”

His expression didn’t change “Who said anything about serious?”

And maybe that’s why you gave him your number. Because he wasn’t pushy. He didn’t make grand promises or act like he was entitled to your time.

He just wanted to get to know you.

What started as casual; grabbing drinks when schedules aligned, the occasional late-night FaceTime when he was on the road shifted without you really noticing.

Jake never pressured you, never tried to define things before you were ready. But he showed up.

He learned how you took your coffee, leaving one outside your door before his early practices. He always made sure to text you when he landed in a new city, even if it was just a quick, made it safe, don’t miss me too much. When he was in town, he didn’t just make plans—he made plans that mattered. A bookstore you’d been talking about for weeks, a cozy, hole-in-the-wall diner you’d mentioned in passing.

And then, there was the moment that changed everything.

You’d had a terrible day. The kind of day where everything that could go wrong did. Work was a disaster, your car had a flat tire, and then, as if the universe wasn’t done kicking you while you were down, you came home to find your apartment flooded due to a burst pipe.

You were exhausted, frustrated, and dangerously close to breaking down when your phone buzzed.

Jake: Heard your day sucked. I’m outside.

Frowning, you walked to your window and, sure enough, there he was, leaning against his truck, takeout bag in one hand and a six-pack of your favorite beer in the other.

You blinked, stunned.

You hadn’t even told him about your day.

Without thinking, you rushed downstairs, stepping into the cool night air “How did you—”

He shrugged “Your friend told me. Figured you could use some company.”

You didn’t say anything, just stared at him, emotions swirling in your chest. You weren’t used to this, someone showing up for you without you having to ask.

Jake didn’t push. He just held up the takeout “I got your usual. Extra fries, obviously”

And just like that, the weight of the day melted away.

That night, as you sat on Jake’s couch, now having moved to his apartment when you realised how bad the flooding was —eating greasy food and watching some ridiculous reality show, you realized something terrifying.

This wasn’t casual anymore.

You cared about Jake. A lot.

And it scared the hell out of you.

You tried to pull away after that. Nothing dramatic, just a little distance, a little less vulnerability. It was stupid, really, because Jake saw right through it.

“Are we gonna talk about it?” he asked one evening, voice low and steady.

“Talk about what?” you deflected.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair “About the fact that you’re suddenly acting like I’m a stranger”

You looked away “I’m not—”

“Come on” He shook his head, frustration creeping into his voice “I like you, okay? A lot. And I know you feel the same way, so just tell me what’s going on”

Your throat tightened “I just…I wasn’t expecting this”

Jake exhaled slowly “And that’s a bad thing?”

You hesitated “I don’t know. I’ve just—” You swallowed “I’ve been hurt before, Jake”

His expression softened “I’m not them”

“I know” You let out a shaky breath “But that doesn’t make it any less scary”

Jake nodded, stepping closer “I get that. But I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care if it takes time—I just want you”

Your heart clenched.

Because deep down, you wanted him, too.

So, for the first time in a long time, you let yourself believe in something good.

And Jake?

He made sure you never regretted it.

[trulydeep]

Dancing with Q today was a totally different experience from our last session, with our time devoted almost solely to technique, something I definitely needed. I love the progress made, I feel more confident about the turns we worked on, they’ve come miles in the last few weeks alone. Still, I beat myself up mentally for how long it’s taken me to get this.

Q is always positive and encouraging so there’s *no reason* for me to feel this way, but I sometimes feel as if somehow I disappointed him by not reaching this point in my overall dancing much faster than I did. As if earlier on he had high hopes that I’d turn out to be better sooner, but that he’s resigned himself to the poorer reality. Or maybe it’s just me, lol!

I think X’s hyper competitiveness with me probably has something to do with my feeling as well. Especially when she’s so desperate and open about ‘surpassing’ me (not limited to our dancing BTW) and Q’s preference towards her. I feel like I will just never measure up in anyone’s eyes.

When I first started working only with Q three years ago, I was not a clean canvas, unlike X or other similar dancers. I’d learned many things incorrectly or otherwise developed a lot of bad habits with previous partners and instructors that had to be painstakingly corrected. Considering how far I had to go, and also how very little time I’ve actually had with Q (especially added up on a weekly basis), I’m doing fairly well. I know that if I were able to dance as much as I wish to, progress would, of course, be much faster. I’m so impatient!

Where I am now is not where I’d imagined I’d be at this point, but it’s still exciting and full of possibilities. I’m thankful to be here.

February 2025

[givemeallyourpenny]

Working in monster kid daycare sucks.

They all have different dietary requirements but they need to be eating the same thing otherwise they start stealing each other’s food which is annoying at best and dangerous at worst. So you have to make five different meals but make sure they’re all similar enough that nobody get jealous.

And don’t get me started on all the different milks. We have a pair of werewolf twins so you’d think they’d have the same milk but one of them is lactose intolerant so nope!

The Allraune kid needs constant sunlight but the Vampire kid gets sunburns too easily, and it’s not like we can keep them separate because that’s cruel and also when the Vampire is awake all he wants to do is play with her (idk why, maybe it’s because she doesn’t have blood or maybe it’s just because they’re both quiet kids?). So we had to special order a curtain for the windows that lets in enough light for one but blocks enough for the other.

Speaking of the Vampire all he wants to do is sleep all day (both his parents work day jobs. Idk why and it would be rude to ask but come on). But we can’t let him sleep because the parents and licenser get mad if everybody isn’t participating or something. I feel bad because I’m not a morning person so I feel like I understand where he’s coming from but you get it.

And then there’s activities. We had a mermaid drop in one week and it was a nightmare lugging that tank of water around with us (apparently the ability to shift their tail into legs doesn’t develop till well into their teens). Luckily that was just temporary but imagine being the parents trying to find a daycare with the equipment for that…

Circle time is fun and all but we gotta remind the harpy kid not to practice his hypnotic voice here. It’s also not very developed at this age but it still gets distracting.

Then outside time… where do I start.

The vampire kid needs very strong sunscreen, so strong that the smell can be overpowering to the werewolf twins, but i think it also keeps mosquitoes away because there’s a lot less of them when he’s here. Which is good because bug spray sometimes gives the mothman kid a rash.

Between the Moth trying to fly away and the Lamia kid trying to dig under the fence I don’t get a lot of time to relax outside. Idk if that’s a lamia thing or a this kid thing though.

I’m almost glad when it starts getting too cold to let them out.

The worst part of it all though is when the Dullahan kid stars hiding her head everywhere. Just when you think you find all the possible hiding places she somehow finds another… the look her dad gave me the time I had to ask him to help us find her still gives me nightmares…

All this being said i love these kids and wouldn’t exchange this job for the world

[nots0nu]

Cedric week:

•Day four

•JAN 8TH• magical mishaps!!!!

[chososcamgirl]

i miss the month and a half that i was unemployed last year. that was when sjap was at its peak too. i think unemployment is the way to go.