#the background....the background killed me

[knightyoomyoui]

You Don't Want None [+18]

ft. TWICE's Chaeyoung (x M Reader)

TYPE: Smut

WORD COUNT: 3964

TAGS: rough sex, submissive girlfriend, punishment, degradation

NOTE: This is heavily inspired from this picture of Chaeyoung above that gave me an idea to write this fic. She looks so freaking hot here, I admit.

DONATE OR REQUEST FOR COMMISSION HERE: https://ko-fi.com/knightyoomyoui

DESCRIPTION: Bratty Chaeyoung disturbing her boyfriend during his game time despite his pleads of giving him space. When she cost him and his team the round, YN disciplines her with a rough lesson in favor to what she desires.

===OOO===

You were alone in your room playing Mobile Legends in your phone to spend your leisure time before you return back on studying for your final exam. The bedroom door opened, your girlfriend Chaeyoung peeked through the gap to check how you’re doing. Giving a quick glance at her, you saw her smile in which boosted your confidence more on playing.

“Hey, love.” You said while dapping your fingertips at the screen.

“What role you are?”

“Tank. I find Akai my new main these days.” You answered while still fixated on your phone.

“You? Doing the roaming? Never thought I would see or hear you with that.” Chaeyoung chuckled.

“You underestimate me too much. I’m all-rounder, you know?” You snickered and hissed.

She approaches you to watch your gameplay. It made sense while you’re so concentrated at the round since you’re always being the one who should necessary attend the clash spots, to support and defend the other heroes for being the toughest. “So what if I do? And please, not me. I’ve seen you struggle a lot on being in charge of mid lanes.”

“I still play the role though.”

“Yeah, but you suck at using mage heroes.” She saw you groan in annoyance as she roasts you. It made her laugh while you still try to focus on the game. A chat from your friend whom you play along with popped up, commanding you about something to do that might be an efficient part of the plan your team would receive.

“I remember the last time we played you were the first one who got killed in under a minute. I don’t think that’s what being all-rounder is about.” Chaeyoung mocked you. She was examining your face and the background they’re playing at the same time.

“Hey, don’t get mistaken that you’re better than me or something if that’s what you’re doing. You still haven’t accepted my one on one challenge yet.”

“Uh huh, I just don’t because I feel pity for you.” She teased you while she sneakily inserted some clingy girlfriend act on you by snaking her hands around your waist while she lays her head on your shoulder.

“Excuses. Chae, just said you’re afraid.”

“Me? Scared fighting you? If I remember correctly, I am the one who has a higher rank than you.” She looked at you unbelievably. You squinched your nose and grunted at another harsh truth she just spat. “That’s why, I prefer you should just keep on playing. Train yourself further, maybe if you win… I’ll accept the challenge. Deal?”

“If that’s what you want, sure.” You finally requited the gaze on her. As you return back on your phone, Chaeyoung has thought of an evil idea. Something that she’ll regret doing so but she just wants to see how cute you’ll react for this.

She lifted both of her legs and planted her butt above your lap as she sat. “Uhh, what are you doing?”, you asked mindlessly. “Nothing, just go along with them.” Chaeyoung feigned innocence. “I just wanna how you’re so eager to dominate me.”

You continued playing even though you along with your teammates are in a dangerous situation right now. With every deaths and mistake, you couldn’t help anymore but to be irritated and sigh stressfully. Chaeyoung looked at the screen, she devilishly smirked at the idea pushing her again to do it.

“You guys look like you’re about to lose now.” Chaeyoung said as she looks at the status of your side compared to the enemies. “Is that what you mean I should be threatened when you play like that?”

“Please, Chae stop distracting me for a moment.”, you said in a calm tone. She liked your gentle request, but bold ideas running in her mind that influences her to disobey you for now. She left your lap, fooling you for giving you some space but instead, she just sat rather behind you and cuddled at you like a koala. Her hands raised up to your pecs and began caressing it.

“Chae…” You warned her, your posture shuffling around her to remove her body. As the last turret in the mid lane was destroyed, you know this is gonna be a huge trouble as the base has a passageway now for the enemies to invade and end the match.

“I’m so boreddd~” Chaeyoung whined. She pressed her face at your nape.

“Can’t you do something else first? I just have to finish this, promise.”

“No, and stop doing that.” Chaeyoung muttered. “I hate being ignored.”

“But I’m in the middle of-”

“What? You guys are losing anyway?” She complained. Her instinct drove her to start kissing the exposed skin of your neck. Her hands returned around her, with the soles of her feet obviously becoming dangerously close at your crotch.

“ We’re still aiming for a comeback here.” Your lips straightened, body went stiff and hot along with your temper rising from your clingy girlfriend’s unnecessary actions.

She bit your neck and sucked it. You gritted your teeth and released a sigh. “Stop trying, YN. You’ll never beat me and I know you don’t want to.”

“It’s not that, okay! I have no interest to be in a competition with you right now. I already told you that I- oh shit.” He saw the message at the top saying that the enemies have slain the lord. Gather and retreat commands went popping aggressively on the screen.

“You said you’re a great player, right? So don’t mind me here. Even if you dare to leave me alone, I won’t. I want you right now.” You felt your cock stirred when Chaeyoung gripped and squeezed it. “And it seems you do as well.”

“It’s my hormones reacting, okay. Ofcourse, how can I fucking act normal if you’re here flirting at me?”

“Oh, just shut up.” Chaeyoung ain’t buying your lies to push your buttons. Your current frustrated mood is entertaining her with a little bit of pity for your struggle. She watched you try to lure away the enemies and the lord with your surviving teammates as she nibbled on your earlobe and toying at your growing bulge.

Your head is getting all loosened from everything that Chaeyoung is doing at you. She surely doing all of this on purpose, and she’s testing you. Deep inside, you admit that you cannot resist your hot girlfriend, but on the other hand, the bad timing of this is encouraging you for a payback that not only is well deserved, but in a thoughtful and harmless way for her.

“Chae- stop, I-I’m begging-”

The screen froze, halting the characters movements as both of you watched the high ground explode. A large message saying DEFEAT flashed, making Chaeyoung pause as well from her movements. She looked at you as you dropped the phone instantly on the bed.

“See, I told you. Better luck next time, I guess.” Chaeyoung nonchalantly said as you remained unmoved. Your breaking point was shattered and it just fuels the plan of getting back at her more with fury. Your knuckles clenched as you felt goosebumps and adrenaline inside while she kept on blabbering in your ear.

“Chaeyoung, this is your last chance to say sorry. Now.”

“And if I don’t?”

“What’s coming to you after, I swear you don’t want none of it.”

“Ooh wow, that really set me on the edge.” She mockingly expressed fear at you. “Looks like you still ain’t ready yet. I’d like to see you try-” Chaeyoung stopped at her words when she watched your star on the screen got decreased, resulting your rank as well to transition back from Legend I to Legend II.

“That’s it, COME HERE!” You had enough. You spun around, harshly grabbed Chaeyoung by the arm and pinned her on the bed.

“U-huh, w-what, you’re mad at me now?”

“More than you think.” You realized that Chaeyoung was wearing the new set of clothes you picked for her, confirming your thoughts. “You did all of that on purpose, don’t you? To prevent me from kicking your ass?”

“And if I say yes, what will you do?” Chaeyoung cooed. “Fuck me rather in the ass?”

“Is that a suggestion? Alright. I won’t hold back on you, you attention-seeking little bitch.” You pulled down her white shorts with force but not in your full limit, still avoiding to damage your beloved outfit of hers.

Her lower back with that inticing huge birth of evil tattoo along with her curvy ass is exposed. You lift it up and make it raised upwards. “I’ll make sure you’ll wish you never did that.

“Yes please, punish me however you want. Punish me for being a bad girl.” Chaeyoung’s submissive kink was activated. It thoroughly making more sense to you why she behaving strangely since earlier.

“Oh I will. You think I’ll let you pass for ruining my win streak.” You slapped her left cheek very hard. Chaeyoung winced at the pain, yet it leaves a satisfied smile on her lips.

“I’m trying to tell you that I don’t give a fuck if you’re better than me, yet you still wanted to make me look worse.” You slapped her again for the second time, on the right cheek. Chaeyoung gasped and whimpered again at the stinging pain. “I was instead trying to save my credit from being decreased.”

“Not only that, you made me look embarrassing to my friends.” A third spank was unleashed.

“You ruined my momentum.” Fourth spank.

“Pushed back my rank when I was supposed to advance!” Fifth.

“Don’t beg me for mercy tonight, because I won’t show you one.” Sixth. Her cheeks are now all red from the impacts of your palm. Chaeyoung is now burying her face on the cushion to muffle her screams and rub some tears of joy in her eyes.

“Fucking greedy slut, you deserve all of this.” Seventh. You saw her legs almost giving in.

“We haven’t even started yet, Chaeyoung. You should’ve made yourself prepared if you wanted this!” You pulled up her legs again and went for an eighth slap.

“I bet you’re happy now, not only getting what you wanted to see me being devastated at my loss, huh? Making fun of me for you own satisfaction, selfish bitch.” Ninth spank to both of the cheeks.

“Last one. I want you to scream, I want you to say sorry for what you did, you got me?” Chaeyoung nodded weakly. She felt her ass take the tenth and last whip on her rear. The amount of pain contained was poured out all through her voice, “SORRY!!! I’M SORRY IF I GOT IN BETWEEN OF YOUR GAME!!!”

“That’s cute.” You chuckled. “But too bad, I pleaded for you to stop, and you didn’t listen. Now, don’t blame me for doing the same. It won’t end here yet. We have a lot of time for me to teach you a lesson.”

You kneeled in front of her abused ass, spreaded it, and pushed your face in between. You squeezed her soft cheeks like dough as you kissed her pillowy flesh repeatedly. Chaeyoung is left mewling at your unexpected next move.

You slightly lowered to me the length of her pussy’s slit. “Good lord, it’s almost like a fucking fountain here. You really want me to fuck you so bad, don’t you?” You scooped some fluid dripping and slurped it. “Impatient whore..”

Without wasting more precious pre-cum of hers, you catched them all by gliding your tongue across her pussy dangerously slow. Back and forth it goes, Chaeyoung’s mouth contorts in different reactions at how good your oral performance in her wet pussy. You bit her clit and pecked a kiss on it before you let go.

You removed your shorts and underwear, revealing your cock that was woken up by Chaeyoung’s playful touches. “Since you’re so eager to get some of this cock, I’ll shove it right up in your fucking holes and fill it up untilyou turned into my personal cumdump. I bet you even want that to happen, right?.”

With a push, your cock went straight inside of Chaeyoung’s tight entrance, sliding it a bit faster until its full length is cupped by its walls. You decided to give this a build-up, establishing a slow rhythm at the start until her ass starts to ripple faster the more your poundings getting louder and stronger.

“U-ugh ugh ahm yes~” Chaeyoung’s voice cracking at every bumps she take from your crotch. You grabbed both of her wrists and tied them on her back for handle, making her hover above the bed as you fucked her rapidly without any permission of self-support.

“”Fucking take all of this, Chae!” You made her vibrate all over your cock, drilling her ass before letting go of her arm. You went slow for a second until Chaeyoung noticed her scalp is getting some pressure. Her head was pulled back, she shrieked as you used her hair this time as a handle while you continued fucking her. “Yeah there you go, work that ass for me. Nice and tight.”

Animalistic huffs and grunts can be heard from you, and Chaeyoung is loving how you’re dismantling her petite boy like a true man possessed with temptation and lust driven by seduction. “I’m gonna cum in that pretty ass of yours, tattoo princess. Exactly as what you need.”

Her insides were flooded with streaks of cum released from your tip while you give more pushes to ensure that your load will be stuck deep inside of her cavern. You slowly let go, Chaeyoung moaned at the slimy friction of your cock exiting her used asshole. Not only your head is stained with the remains of your cum, some started to drip out from her puckered hole.

“We’re far than settled, bitch. Don’t be snapping out on me now.” You flipped the hem of her croptop from behind as you saw her splayed put of the bed. Roughly spun her around, she was now facing you from below, her eyes flickering in exhaustion abd mouth gaped in shock.

You made out with her, lips and tongue dancing through your mouth within each other. Taking this as your short distraction, you pushed your huge cock again in her pussy, making her gasp loudly. Your arms stood on each sides of her head, trapping her into your own isolation of pleasure.

“You don’t how much I’m enjoying this look of you.” You said as you watched Chaeyoung’s face reacting lustfully to your strokes. “No more hints of smug now, huh? Who’s in control now, you pathetic bastard?”

“Is that all you’ve got?” Chaeyoung challenged you, showing arrogance despite in the midst of destruction. “I haven’t been satisfied yet.”

“Oh you just wait. I’ve held my patience for you even if its thin, but now, you’re just tempting me to leash out everything on you, like this.” You replied. Placing your arms on her neck, you deepened the hold and tightened her until she began choking on her breath beneath your fucking.

“Laugh now, you naughty brat! Come on!” The sounds of bed creaking and the skin slapping echoed around the room.

“F-fuck yesss, that’s it. Take my breath, make it yours!” Chaeyoung grips on your forearm like her life depends on it as her face starts to become pale, losing air slowly from your lock.

“Now it’s me enjoying how defeated you look.” You added more movement through your fucking, exploring her insides and searching for that g-spot. It didn’t last long as when Chaeyoung furiously taps on your wrists, she coughed and breathe heavily before moaning loudly in your arms.

“There! Fucking ravage me, I’m about to cum soon!”

She must’ve forgotten that her wishes and requests are completely invalid to you now. This is her karma she has to face. You ignored her pleads as you kept your cock plugged inside of her pussy.

You undressed her sports bra and threw it around in the room, you played with her small breasts while she looked at your confusedly. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“How does it feel now being ignored and sticking in to your silly antics?” You snickered at her. She raised her eyebrows in surprise before it was replaced with pleasure as she bit her lower lip when you start devouring her tits one after another.

You inserted your arms on her back and pulled her closer, her tits mashing on your face. You rubbed and licked every area of her breasts, ensuring they all covered with your spit. Chaeyoung arched her back to allow you claiming them all by yourself.

You removed your arms shortly to lock her arms before you returned it around her, relocating your arms this time to the back of her head. She was now spreaded out before you planted her back at the bed and bent her in half like a seashell. That’s when you decided to pick up the pace by fucking her again ruthlessly.

Chaeyoung is now saying broken words, unrecognizable rounds or whatever it is, a fact that she is now spiraled downward from your rough treatment. You sniffed the smell of her sweaty yet fragrant neck as you fuck her relentlessly, her feet waving around in the end as you do so. “Keep screaming, you naughty brat! Let me hear how you love taking my cock so much.”

“Yeah yeah yeah shit! Mhhhmmm oh God, you’re so big! You’re about to break meeee~”

A second load was poured inside her pussy as you reached your climax, making her shiver in your body stacked above you. You didn’t even allow her to ride out her orgasm as you still continued to perform shallow thrusts in her pussy, pumping your seed into her womb securely.

You left her on the bed and stood at her heaving figure, her strength and enthusiasm no more evident in her. She was there sprawled widely in your bed, her pussy gushing with cum, her sweaty naked slim body deliciously attractive.

“Look at you now, girl.” You said, shaking your head. “All worn out from being manhandled and properly disciplined. You’re gonna beg for me to stop now?”

“N-no… I- I’m not done with you yet.” Chaeyoung said as she tried to get up from the bed. “You wanted to finish me right? Fucking do it. This isn’t enough yet, don’t be too soft on me. Unless, you want me to repeat it again-”

“Oh no you don’t, that will be your last.” You snatched her arm and tugged her body at you so that she went standing now from the bed, her body pressed at you, her senses snapped awake at the force you applied on her.

She was easy to be dragged and carried thanks to her light size. You gave her a kiss on the lips while you stimulate her pussy with speed. Chaeyoung went moaning in your mouth and grasped your cock, jacking it off in return.

As your manhood erected back to life, you rotated her so that her back figure is facing you. Hooking your arm on her underpits, your hand aided your cock to insert it back on her pussy. After it slid it, she tiptoed as she was once again cornered in your hold.

You didn’t waste any time to give her the treatment she wanted, you fucked her roughly, her ass bouncing and rippling at the pounding you’re giving her. Ravaging her pussy in a full nelson, Chaeyoung’s cracked voice increased in sync.

Your hands left the back of her head for a moment, switching through her two perky tits bouncing rapidly at your pace. You pulled her nipples and squished it repeatedly in between your thumb and ring finger. Chaeyoung couldn’t describe the incredible feeling of pain and pleasure combined that you’re providing for her.

She writhe in pain as you cupped her breasts, squeezed it to its might and even slapping at it, giving equal abuse just like what you did to her ass hours ago. Her tits reddened as you stop before locking her in and suckled her neck and chest, raining it with hickeys. “You asked for this, Chae. This is all for you.”

You filled her pussy again with your cum, she fainted in your arms at the insane orgasm she’s having. As you slide off your thick meat out of her pussy, you pushed her back on the bed. Now laying down, you became aware that your energy can’t keep this up long anymore so you decided to wrap this with one last harsh sexual activity you knew she would love.

Dragging her body in circle so that she would be from feet to head in your perspective, you leveled above her head and shove your balls into her face. Getting the signal, she began worshipping it with her talented mouth while you stroke your cock at the feeling of her tits on your hand.

Now all slick and wet, you pushed your shaft and lodged it to her awaiting mouth. To make her pretty lips and throat tight as hell, you wrapped your hands again around her neck, choking her as you facefucked her upside down. Turning Chaeyoung as your human fleshlight effectively amusing you.

“Yeah that feels so fucking good, Chaeyoung. You look so damn hot being used like this.” You said as your eyes rolled and your legs squatted to erratically impale into her mouth. The sensation is outstanding, her mouth sliding across your length while she is in air restriction makes you want to dominate her like this often.

You groped and massaged her breasts as you kept the speed, fucking her intensely just like how you did with her pussy and ass. The gags were astoundingly loud, followed by her quick pats on your thigh to announce her limit.

Few more strokes, you blasted one last load of creamy cum in her mouth before Chaeyoung shifted her body to allow her to swallow it all.

Some of it went flowing out on the corners of her lips, but she didn’t let every drop go to waste as she tasted them with her fingers. You tapped your cock on her tongue repeatedly before she gave you one last suck to clean the residue.

You went sitting on the floor, leaning your back on the side of the bed while Chaeyoung face was still upside down beside you, as she remained laying in reverse. You looked at each other and both smiled at whatever just happened.

“That was… damn, I didn’t know what came into me.” You chuckled. “Are you alright?”

“Definitely better.” Chaeyoung answered proudly. “I missed you being so rough at me..”

“So it was indeed planned.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry if I had to.” Chaeyoung apologized with pure sincerity. “I became horny out of nowhere and I craved for us to have sex.”

“And that’s what you thought to do? To insult me and cost me my match?”

She only gave you an apologetic smile. “Sorry. But I swear, I don’t mean it at all.”

“No worries, it’s just a game, babe. I knew you did, actually I even saw it coming that you want my attention when you wore the clothes I bought for you. You looked so insatiable.” You kissed her on the cheek.

“Then I’ll wear that more often.” She grinned and winked. “Anyways, about your rank. I could help you if you want.”

“Wait but you’re already in mythical glory?”

“I can use my smurf account though. I’m in Epic there.”

Without any hesitation, you accepted the offer from your girlfriend. “Nice! Save me from my curse, please.” And Chaeyoung just laughed at your banter.

===OOO===

[rose24207]

Hi hi😻.. I can’t help it, I have another request 😗(these prompts are really good) anywayyy as you may know I’ll do mafia!Lando Norris x reader as always(I’m a simple girl😔) with these prompts:

22. "I found this note under my door. It says they’re watching me."

21. "There’s someone else in the house."

26. "I swear, that thing wasn’t there a second ago.“

28. "Whatever you do, don’t turn around."

where obviously someone breaks into there place, and in the end lando kills them(protecting his lady🤭). u obviously don’t have to do them I just wanted to send them to u lol, but if u do read this I just wanna say thank youu🫶🏼🤍

Are you hurt?

Summary: After a chilling note reveals you're being watched and an intruder invades your home, Lando arrives just in time to ruthlessly kill the attacker and protect you.

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Dark

Mafia!Lando x reader

TW: Mafia, gun, lando offs someone, breaking in, violence, fighting

A/N: Hello!! Ex-squeeze me? What do mean I don’t have to? I want to!! 🥰 English is not my first language. I hope you enjoy it though! Requests are open and welcome!

Masterlist pt. 2

You almost missed it.

The small, folded note wedged under your door.

You frowned, bending down to pick it up, and as soon as you unfolded the paper, a chill crawled down your spine.

We‘re watching you.

Your pulse thundered in your ears.

This wasn’t some prank. It wasn’t paranoia creeping in.

You had been with Lando long enough to know what this meant.

Your hands trembled as you grabbed your phone and dialed his number. It rang twice before he answered.

"Angel?" His voice was calm, but you could hear the underlying alertness.

"Lando," you whispered, swallowing hard. "I found this note under my door. It says they’re watching me."

Silence.

Then, his voice dropped an octave, lethal and controlled.

"Where are you?"

"In the living room, I—"

Creak.

The sound sent a violent shiver down your spine.

It came from upstairs.

"Lando," your voice barely came out. "There's someone else in the house."

His chair scraped back. The faint background noise on the phone vanished.

"Get out." He didn’t yell—Lando never did when he was angry. His voice was quiet, clipped, and ice-cold. "Go through the back door. Now."

"I— I think they’re already coming down," you choked out.

More silence. Then, a single command:

"Stay on the phone with me."

Your breath came in quick, uneven bursts as you grabbed the closest weapon—a fireplace poker. Your grip was clammy, your hands shaking as you edged toward the kitchen.

Something felt off.

The air was too heavy.

You risked a glance toward the hallway.

A chair was knocked over.

You hadn't heard that happen.

Which meant—

"I swear, that thing wasn’t there a second ago," you whispered.

Lando's tone was razor-sharp. "Do not move."

Another creak. Closer this time.

And then—

A figure emerged from the shadows.

A man, dressed in black, face obscured by a mask. But the gleam of a knife in his hand was unmistakable.

"Whatever you do," Lando's voice came through the phone, controlled and deadly, "don't turn around."

Your grip tightened around the poker, chest heaving.

Too late.

The intruder lunged.

Adrenaline exploded through you. You swung blindly, striking his arm. He grunted but barely faltered, reaching for you again.

"Big mistake," the man sneered.

You wrenched away, sprinting toward the alarm panel—

But a hand clamped down on your wrist.

A sharp yank sent you stumbling, crashing into the dining table. The world tilted as you hit the ground, stars bursting behind your eyes.

You barely had time to react before he was towering over you, knife raised.

A deafening BANG shattered the air.

The man staggered.

Blood bloomed across his chest.

His body crumpled—just as Lando stormed through the door, gun still raised, his expression nothing short of murderous.

A muscle ticked in his jaw. His nostrils flared as he took slow, deliberate steps forward, gun never wavering.

"Lando—" you started.

"Shh, angel," he murmured. His voice was eerily soft. "Not now."

The intruder groaned, barely clinging to consciousness, hand twitching toward his knife.

Lando scoffed, stepping on the man's wrist with brutal force, making him cry out.

"You picked the wrong house," he said coldly.

His boot pressed down harder. A sickening crack echoed through the room.

The intruder screamed.

Lando exhaled slowly, as if trying to control the bloodthirsty rage simmering beneath his skin. His eyes flicked to you, scanning for injuries.

"Are you hurt?"

You shook your head, throat tight.

Lando's jaw clenched. He crouched, grabbing the man's collar and yanking him upright.

"Who sent you?" His voice was death itself.

The man whimpered, blood dripping from his mouth.

Lando pressed the gun against his temple.

"Last chance."

The man barely managed to spit out, "You're already dead."

Lando smirked. "No. You are."

Then, without hesitation—

BANG.

The man's body slumped, lifeless.

Lando let him fall unceremoniously, the air thick with the scent of blood and gunpowder.

The silence was suffocating.

Then, in one swift motion, Lando turned back to you.

Before you could react, his hands were cupping your face, his eyes scanning yours, desperate, furious, terrified.

"I almost lost you," he whispered.

"You didn't," you murmured, placing your hands over his. "You got here in time."

He shook his head, exhaling shakily. "Not good enough." His thumb brushed against your cheek. "We're leaving. Tonight."

You frowned. "Lando—"

"I'm not arguing with you, angel." His voice was low, possessive. "This house is compromised. We’re moving. I don’t care what I have to burn down to keep you safe."

You swallowed hard.

Because when Lando Norris made a promise, he kept it.

And right now, he was promising one thing:

Whoever sent this man?

They were next.

Thank you for reading!

Taglist: @ipushhimback, @ladyoflynx, @lewishamiltonismybf, @cmleitora, @hmma3 , @same1995, @amatswimming, @llando4norris, @dr3wstarkey, @hurtblossom, @ernegren

[steampunktomboy]

Actually this isn't staying in the tags because I've got more to say and explain here.

First, some background: "I'm my own master now" is a song from the soundtrack of Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. It plays during the fight with Blade Wolf, also known by his designation, LQ-84i. He is a prototype modification of the standard LQ-84 Fenrir unit, with an order of magnitude higher number of optical neurons. This was unsuccessful because it developed a conscience and wouldn't kill unless specifically ordered to. In the game he's really only fighting you because of orders and the threat of being deleted, with Raiden, the PC, bringing him back for reconstruction and removing those features. The lyrics of the song definitely fit this story.

However, let's look at how they relate to trans people and especially transfems. (Okay can someone remind me to finish this like tomorrow or something ive kinda lost the motivation (not the right word but idk what is the right word) to write this)

the fucking thing where a lot of trans women can't. get our lives started for a long time. until we transition and then so often it's like. suddenly you know things about yourself like there's a being inhabiting this body. you start thinking about things you want to do, ways to go out and finally live. and then. the whole damn world is like, no go fucking back in the hole. and it's so hard to live now that you . actually want to

[thatssomegoodsoup]

Hi! Could you do The Doctor x Reader where the Doctor turned the reader into a humanoid animatronic(?) toy when he was still Sawyer? Maybe they rejected him when they were human, found out about the experiments etc. I'll leave it up to you~

imagining so much angst for this one! (I might actually write a fic for once)

HARLEY SAWYER X READER FANFIC

CONTENT WARNING: death

Youu were first assigned to work with Harley Sawyer (to say this man was annoyed would be an understatement. He didn't want to work with anyone else). Eventually Sawyer warmed up to you, liking how well you contributed to his work. And soon, he caught himself catching feelings for you, and you caught feelings for him. You two would subtly flirt all the time during work.

And soon, due to your intellect, you climbed the ranks, from intern to researcher to junior researcher to senior researcher to second in command beside Sawyer.

And the more your rank grew, you more you learned about the experiments they were doing. The Bigger Bodies Initiative. And the more disgusted you became. They were using CHILDREN? The children they had said they would find loving homes for. They were using children to make monsters. And Harley Sawyer, your love, was at the front of it all.

To say the reader broke down would be an understatement. You had loved a monster all this time. You felt disgusted with yourself. With your job. With your feelings, your heart, everything. But, you still loved this man. So, you kept it down. But in the back of your mind, there was a voice saying you shouldn't love this man.

This voice made you become resentful. When he finally asked you out, you let everything out. You insulted him, called him a monster, and said you'd never date someone like him. This made him very angry. How DARE you reject him. You were HIS! HIS AND NOBODY ELSE'S! And you and Harley grew apart. Argument after argument. To be honest, he both hated and liked your new "feisty personality". Others saw you as a danger for how outspoken against the experiments you had become. Whispered threats were thrown around in the background. But Sawyer insisted that your knowledge was important. And it brought you some fear that Sawyer was the only reason you weren't ending up as food for an experiment or dead at the hands of a researcher or task force. I mean, he couldn't let the only one he loved die now, could he? He had to come up with another plan, before the others took matters into their own hands.

Meanwhile, you had your own plan. To save the orphans. To out Playtime Co as the monsters they truly were. But you were too late. As you went to leave the lab, to quit your job, to enact the first phase of your plan, Sawyer grabbed you and held you back, taunting you with "squirm all you want germ" and "you would be lucky to be with SOMEONE like me". He knocked you out, and made you into one of his experiments.

He made you into an animatronic version of yourself. To capture your beauty for all eternity. When you awoke, all you could feel was anger, and, in the back of your mind, heartbreak.

After the Day of Joy, you had made it your mission to find Harley and eliminate him. And you killed or hurt anyone else who stood in between you and him. You had become what you had sworn to destroy. A monster, fueled by anger, rage, and hatred.

Then came the day you finally made your way to him.

Needless to say.... you didn't stand a chance.

And as you laid dying in his robotic arms, you didn't feel....anger. You didn't feel the disgust at the actions of what he had done. You felt....regret. Guilt. A pang in your heart that you had only felt when you had started working at Playtime Co. alongside Dr.Sawyer.

And for the first time in a long time, you looked at Sawyer with something more than disgust and anger. You stared at him with love. As the light faded from your eyes, you reached for his cheek...well, the side of his TV, and smiled, your animatronic eyes betraying your current state; your eyes depicted peace and love. You watched as his eye slowly turned fearful. He gripped your animatronic form tighter, holding onto something so fragile. You fell limp, taking your final breath in his arms. And he held tighter.

The look of horror in his eye when you reacted with love instead of rage and fear for the first time in many years could not be described. He felt...sadness. Regret. Grief. For the first time in his life.

He sat there in shock for the longest time.

And then....willpower, longing, a strong desire, overtook his mind.

No. NO. He has to find a way to bring you. He has to bring you back. He HAS TO. He will bring you back. He WILL bring you back. He WILL find a way.

"I will bring you back."

"My dear love."

"I don't care what it will cost me."

"This isn't how I'll let it end...."

I hope this was what you were expecting! I don't really write fics, I normally write....oneshots? Headcanons? But I saw the prompt and had to go for it! I'm honestly really proud of how this turned out.

credit for divider: @nicodefresas

[cressidagrey]

The Queen of Romantasy and the Race Car Prince - Chapter 6

Pairing: Lando Norris x Elizabeth "Lizzie" Treshton (Original Character)

Summary:

Elizabeth Treshton—bestselling romantasy author, queen of fae heartbreak, and sworn devotee of a carefully structured routine—never expected her service dog to abandon protocol and diagnose a Formula 1 driver with something. But that’s exactly what happens when Mara the wonder-dog ditches Lizzie’s side to aggressively alert to none other than Lando Norris in the middle of a coffee shop.

Warnings and Notes: 

Mention of epilepsy, seizures, memory loss, hospitals, vomiting, blood and service animals. I don't myself suffer from epilepsy, so I asked my IRL friend, who thankfully was nice enough to let me ask her all the questions I could come up with. The rest I asked Reddit. So everything that's wrong...that's totally my fault and not on purpose.

As always big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble

Lando felt like time was moving far too slowly.

He tried to keep himself occupied on the plane, but every moment felt like an eternity. His brain kept returning to thoughts of Lizzie, the words ‘multiple seizures’ running through his mind on a continuous loop.

He had never felt so out of his depth before. Racing? Sure. Even dealing with fans and the media? That was a walk in the park compared to the knot in his stomach now.

And worst of all, the not knowing was killing him.

He had no idea what Lizzie’s condition was truly like.

Was she not responding at all? Was she in a coma? Was she… was she even okay?

He barely managed to keep it together on the plane ride...The taxi ride from the airport to the hospital felt like an eternity. Lando fidgeted in his seat, his fingers tapping a nervous rhythm on his knee.

Every second felt like an hour. Every minute felt like a decade.

Finall, finally, the Royal Sussex Hospital loomed large, its white walls and rows of windows a stark contrast against the grey English sky. Even though it was May, the cold air was biting at his exposed skin.

As he went through the doors, his nostrils were immediately assaulted with the sterile, clinical scent of the hospital.

"Elizabeth Treshton?" he asked at the reception, Lizzie's full name feeling foreign on his tongue. Did anybody ever even call her that? Lizzie was the name she introduced herself with, Lizzie was what friends and family called her…hell, even all the fans on her instagram account seemed to have adopted that name. Elizabeth Treshton seemed solely to exist to be put on her books and that was it.  

The receptionist looked up at him with a small smile. "Yes, she's on the fourth floor. Room 404."

Lando's heart leapt into his throat. "Thank you."

He made his way to the elevator, his mind racing. Fourth floor. Room 404. Four was lucky. Right?

The elevator ride up to the fourth floor was excruciating.

The hum of the elevator’s motor and the faint music playing in the background felt like nails on a chalkboard to Lando’s already frayed nerves. When the doors finally slid open, he practically jumped out into the hallway.

404.

The room number was emblazoned on the sign next to a door partially cracked open.

Lando paused outside, taking one last deep breath to try and steel himself.

Standing outside her room, he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to knock, introduce himself, or just stay quiet until the door magically opened. He debated for a moment, his hand hovering awkwardly for a moment before rapping lightly on the door.

There was no answer.

Silence filled the hall.

And then a voice called out, raspy and weary: "Come in."

Lando swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry as a desert. With a shaky hand, he pushed the door open and took a single step into the room.

"You're...Lando Norris." His eyes immediately snapped to a man in his late 40s sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed. Lizzie's dad. There was no question about it. He looked just like her.

It was almost more as a statement than a question.

Lando, slightly taken aback, nodded. “Yeah, that’s me. Uh, I came as soon as I heard. Is she...okay?” It was a stupid question, as his gaze fell on Lizzie...dead asleep in the hospital bed.

He wasn't sure what he had expected...maybe more machine's connected to her. 

Granted, there were a few…her heartbeat was silently broadcasted to everybody in the room…there was an IV-Line in her hand…and there were also white bandages wrapped around her forearm. They were nearly the same white colour as her skin. 

Lizzie’s father nodded, a weary smile on his face. "She’s stable. Hasn’t seized in over a day. But she’s been in and out of consciousness a lot. Not very responsive when she is awake, but the doctors say that’s normal."

Lizzie’s father took a slow, appraising look at Lando, like he was trying to piece together the weirdest puzzle of his life. “I must admit, I expected pretty much anything, but not you, to be honest," he finally said drily. "Richard Treshton. Most people call me Rick."

Lando nodded, tearing his gaze away from Lizzie for just a moment. "Nice to meet you, Rick."

He felt acutely aware of the fact that Lizzie’s dad was sizing him up.

Rick leaned back in the chair, his gaze never leaving Lando’s face. "How do you know Lizzie?"

Lando felt a pang of nerves. "We, uh...we’re friends."

Rick raised an eyebrow. "Friend with the benefits sort of thing, or...?"

The blood rushed to his face. "We had two dates!" Lando blurted out. "We haven't...talked about...labels yet."

Rick raised the other eyebrow, now looking rather amused. "Ah, two dates then. I see. But not...dating."

Lando huffed out a breath. "We’re not not dating."

Rick chuckled, now looking thoroughly amused.. "Right. Not not dating. Clear as mud. Two dates, huh? But you’re already flying across the Atlantic to be here? Even though I am quite sure that there is some partying to be had in Miami?"

Lando felt his cheeks redden even further, but he held Rick’s gaze. “I care about her.” The words felt a little too raw, a little too real, and the weight of them hung in the air.

Rick regarded him for a few seconds. Then a small, tired smile appeared on his face. 

"You really do, don't you?"

Lando nodded, unable to find the words to respond. He did care about Lizzie. Deeply. 

"Just don’t make me regret letting you near her, okay?” Rick said with a sigh.

Lando nodded firmly. "I won’t. I promise."

Rick studied him for a beat, as if searching for any trace of dishonesty. Then he gestured to a chair next to the bed. “Sit. Might as well make yourself comfortable.”

"Where's Mara?" Lando asked as he sat down, his eyes searching for the dog.

"I made Mara take Tasha out on a walk. She goes crazy when she is copped inside for two long."

Lando blinked twice. "You made the dog take Tasha out on a walk?"

Rick chuckled. "Technically, I told Tasha to take Mara on a walk, and she agreed. Tasha kept terrorising poor Lizzie everytime she woke…besides Mara was hard at work this week, she needed a break too….she was with Lizzie when the seizures started."

Lando sat down in the chair beside Lizzie's bed, trying to process everything he just heard. He had so many questions, but the one that was the most pressing on his mind was, "How did this happen? The seizures, I mean? Did something trigger them?"

Rick’s expression darkened. "She changed medications a few weeks ago. The new one didn't do a particular good job. Clearly." He sighed. "This is the worst it has been in...around 5 years," he said with a grimace. "Around the time Lizzie got Mara, we also found a combination of medications that minimized her seizures from every few days to every few weeks...This isn't normal for her," he told Lando seriously.

 "Yes, she has epilepsy, yes, she will always have to deal with it, but Lizzie is normally able to live a a mostly "normal" life most of the time. She hasn't been hospitalised like this since her school years."

Lando nodded, trying to wrap his head around everything Rick was saying. His gaze went down to Lizzie, so small and fragile against the stark white sheets of the hospital bed. He had only seen her mostly healthy and whole so far. Even that evening after the one seizure she had had, she had looked tired, but not…not like this. 

She had still been happy Lizzie who was snarky and witty and always ready to dish out a bit of playful banter.

This Lizzie was none of that.

She was pale and still, her face drawn and her body limp. Only the occasional twitch of her fingertips or flutter of her eyelashes indicated that she was still alive.

"Is this...going to happen again?" he asked weakly.

Rick’s expression was grave. "I hope not. Not to this extent, at least. She will have seizures in the future, but hopefully they won’t get this bad again.” He paused, studying Lando for a moment. "This is...a lot. I get it if you want to bail."

Lando’s head snapped up so quickly, it nearly gave him whiplash. "Bail?" he repeated vehemently. "You think I came all the way here to just bail?"

Rick shrugged a little. "No offence, kid, but you’re a world famous racecar driver. You’re known for being a party animal. This,” he gestured vaguely towards the bed where Lizzie lay, "is a whole nother level of commitment."

Lando bristled at that. “I am not afraid of commitment,” he snapped. “ I am not going to bail just because she’s ill.”

Rick just held his gaze for a moment, then chuckled. "You got a hell of backbone, kid. I see why she likes you."

Lando felt a small flicker of pride, but it was quickly overshadowed by worry. "How long do you think she'll be like this?" he asked, gesturing towards Lizzie. She looked so lifeless, so unresponsive.

"Ah, she'll wake up again in a few minutes and ask the same exact questions, she has been asking for the last 3 days," her father said drily. "Who won Miami?"

Lando’s jaw dropped. "Winning Miami is seriously the last thing on my mind right now," he said incredulously.

"Not on Lizzie's," Rick said with a laugh. At that moment, the door opened again. Mara ran into the room, tail wagging, immediately jumping up on the end of Lizzie's bed where there was a blanket waiting for her

Lando watched as Mara lay down on the blanket, head resting on her paws. She looked like she had settled in to stay. 

"You owe Mum 10 bucks, Uncle Rick" came the voice of a young women from the doorway. "Hi, I am Tasha."

Lando turned towards the doorway, taking in the young woman who had just entered. She was striking to look at, with shoulder-length blonde hair and bright green eyes. This must be Tasha. LIzzie's best friend.

"Hello," Lando said, surprised to find himself feeling a little tongue-tied for once. This young woman exuded a kind of confident energy that made him feel slightly...intimidated.

Tasha's gaze flickered over to Lizzie's form in the bed, her expression softening for a split second. Then she fixed Lando with a calculating look, head tilted to the side."Huh. So you are the Lando Norris."

Lando shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling under the spotlight. "Uh, yeah. That's me."

Tasha's gaze was scrutinising, like she was trying to peer straight into his soul. Then she grinned suddenly, her whole face lighting up. "Damn, Lizzie really wasn't kidding. You are pretty cute."

Lando blushed, caught off guard by how bluntly Tasha was speaking. "Uh...thanks, I guess?"

Tasha chuckled, clearly amused by his discomfort. “Relax. I’m not going to bite you. I just wanted to get a good look at the guy who’s snatched Lizzie’s heart.”

Lando’s blush deepened at that, his heart fluttering in his chest at the thought. He was saved of more interrogation by Mara perking up

Mara, who had previously laid still on the end of the bed, suddenly lifted her head, ears pricked. A low, quiet whine escaped her throat, and she turned her head towards Lizzie.

Lando followed Mara’s gaze to Lizzie’s face, where her eyes slowly fluttered open.

Her eyes were glassy and unfocussed, like she was trying to remember where she was. 

There was a beat of silence before Rick spoke up softly. "Hi, sweetheart."

Lizzie’s gaze slowly shifted, landing on her father. A small, confused frown pulled at her brows. "Dad?" she murmured, voice raspy. “Where...what…"

Rick shushed her gently, moving over to the bed. “Easy, sweetheart. You’re in the hospital. You’ve had a seizure.”

Lizzie’s brow furrowed in confusion. "Who won in Miami?" she croaked out.

"The race never actually started. The Miami Dolphins accidentally flooded the track, and now it’s an aquatic event," Tasha said brightly.

…at least Lando now knew what Rick had meant with Tasha kept terrorising Lizzie. 

Lizzie slowly turned her head towards Tasha, her eyes slightly unfocussed. For a second, she just stared at Tasha, as if trying to process her words.

"You made that up?" she finally said faintly questioningly.

Tasha grinned, completely unrepentant. "Yep. But the look on your face was so worth it. You looked like a baffled trout."

A flicker of a smile tugged at the corners of Lizzie's mouth.

It was the first sign of life on her face since Lando arrived. It wasn’t much, but it made him feel a tiny bit hopeful.

"I feel like a baffled trout," Lizzie mumbled slowly, "Where’s Mara?"

As if on cue, Mara let out a soft whine and shoved her head against Lizzie’s hand. Lizzie’s fingers automatically curled around her fur. "Hey girl," she murmured. 

She looked tired. And pale. And fragile. But still, in that moment, she was the most beautiful thing Lando had ever seen.

"So who's won Miami?" she asked, again.

"I did."

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them

Lizzie looked up at him. For a second, she looked utterly baffled, like she was surprised to see him. Then recognition dawned in her eyes.

"Lando?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded, unable to form words in that moment, his heartbeat hammering in his ears.

Her eyes flickered over him, taking in his tired, rumpled appearance. "You're here," she said, her voice filled with wonder.

Lando could only nod, the lump in his throat making it impossible to speak. He felt the weight of Rick and Tasha's gaze on him, but he didn't register it. All he saw was Lizzie.

Lizzie’s hand was still buried in Mara's fur, fingers massaging the dog's head gently. Lando suddenly felt the need to touch her. To assure himself that she was really there.

He reached out, slowly, carefully, as if afraid she would disappear if he was too hasty. His hand hovered awkwardly above hers for a second, hesitating.

Lizzie's gaze flicked to his hovering hand, then back up at his face. There was a beat of silence, a loaded moment, a quiet invitation of sorts.

Lando hesitated for only a second longer, then carefully placed his hand on top of hers. Her skin was cool and smooth beneath his fingertips.

There was another beat of silence, the room heavy with tension. Then Lizzie turned her hand over, fingers intertwining with his. It was such a simple gesture, but it felt like everything. Lando exhaled shakily, squeezing her hand almost without intending to.

Lizzie's thumb rubbed over his knuckles gently, a soft and reassuring gesture. Lando was suddenly hyperaware of every detail about her. The warmth of her hand, the slight chapping on her lips, the circles under her eyes, the faint scent of hospital antiseptic on her skin.

"Either my brain is really scrambled, or you are actually here. Which one is it?"

Lando huffed out a quiet laugh. "I’m really here," he said softly. "Not just a figment of your imagination. I promise."

Lizzie’s eyes fluttered shut, relief and exhaustion warring for dominance on her face.

“You won?” She asked him, her voice slurring slightly.

Lando chuckled quietly, the noise bubbling up in his chest without his consent. "Yes, I won."

Her hand, intertwined with his, twitched slightly tighter at his words. "Really?" she repeated weakly.

"Really," Lando assured her softly. "Finished in first place."

He couldn't tell whether the emotions fluttering in his chest were joy or worry. Perhaps a strange mixture of both.

“I told you, you could do it,” she said simply.

Lando huffed out another laugh, the sound tinged with a hint of disbelief. "Yeah, you did. I should really start to listen to you more often."

Lizzie’s eyes flickered, fighting to remain open. She was losing her battle with sleep.

"You look tired," he said softly, rubbing the skin on the back of her hand with his thumb. "You should sleep."

Lizzie made a small, disgruntled noise. "Don’t wanna," she mumbled stubbornly.

"You need to," he said, his voice firm but gentle. "You need to give your brain a chance to rest and recover."

Lizzie opened her mouth to protest, but a massive yawn cut her off, her protest coming out as another tired groan.

"See? Your body’s betraying you," Lando said with a smile, unable to keep the smugness out of his voice. Lizzie huffed, her expression somewhere between annoyed and too exhausted to care.

Her eyes were fluttering closed, trying to stubbornly refuse rest. But the exhaustion was winning, it was blatantly obvious. Lando gave her hand a light squeeze, bringing her attention back. "You need to sleep," he repeated, his voice even more tender this time.

Lizzie huffed again, but it was a weak sound, lacking any real defiance. She was giving in. "Fine. I'll sleep," she mumbled, her voice slurring with exhaustion.

She shifted slightly on the bed, still clinging on to Lando's hand like it was a life line.

Lando gave her hand another gentle squeeze, a silent encouragement. Lizzie let out a soft sigh, her grip on his hand loosening slightly as sleep finally closed in on her.

Lando watched, his heart feeling both heavy and light in his chest. She looked so small and fragile against the hospital sheets.

"I'll be here when you wake up," he whispered softly, not sure if she could even hear him. But her fingers twitched faintly, a last, desperate attempt to cling onto consciousness. Then, finally, her hand went slack in his, and her breathing leveled out into the steady rhythm of sleep.

Lando felt the tension ease from his body, a breath he didn't know he'd been holding escaping from between his lips. Lizzie was asleep, and it was the best state she could be in right now.

He looked up, suddenly remembering that they were not alone in the room. Rick was watching him silently, his gaze steady and observant.

Lando fidgeted under the scrutiny, his grip on Lizzie's hand unconsciously tightening. He'd almost forgotten about Rick and Tasha's presence, caught up in the intensity of the moment.

Tasha was watching him too, her expression hard to read. There was a hint of curiosity in her eyes, a glint that spoke of protective instincts.

"Relax, kid," Rick said, seeing Lando’s discomfort. "We’re not going to tear you apart."

Lando tried to suppress his nerves, but he felt very aware of the fact that he’s just held their daughter’s hand in front of them. "Yeah, I know," he managed to get out, his voice slightly shaky.

"Mara likes you, so I won't be too mean to you," Tasha said drily.

Lando let out a strangled laugh, feeling oddly reassured by Tasha's words. "Is...is that a good thing?" he asked tentatively.

Tasha rolled her eyes, but her expression was amused. "With Lizzie, it’s the highest form of approval you’re going to get."

[daydreamgoddess14]

What's it take to get your number?

What's it take to bring you home?

Here she is! My first Bucky fic (😬)

From my Valentine's Lovebomb event, this one is for Emily 💜

Bucky Barnes x F!Reader insert, no use of y/n, no applicable warnings - just some cute fluff while I dip my toe into another fandom.

Masterlist

Of all of the things Yelena had talked you into, this was undoubtedly the worst.

And she had, of course, talked you into some truly awful shit.

If she could see you now, scowling into your margherita, she’d probably throw something at you.

Hey! Smile a little, huh?

As it happens, the thought of it does make you smile.

She's been good to you since you met. Being Valentina's PA was often an utterly thankless existence. The way she'd collected up Yelena, Alexei, John Walker and the others had been admirable.

Adding Bucky Barnes into the mix had been a goddamn coup.

They mostly went about their business as instructed and paid you little to no attention, but Yelena had spotted you still working away late into the night just before Christmas. She'd disappeared and returned twenty minutes later with cartons of Cantonese food which she insisted you shared.

Since then, a tentative friendship had blossomed between you both.

At the bar, there’s plenty of small talk going on in the background. Lots of organising.

The tables have been arranged loosely in a grid with plenty of space between them to move around.

Not that you have to move anywhere.

The instructions have been made very clear.

Yelena read them out with such glee, you suggested that she go instead.

So you sit, and you wait… then they ring a bell and the men come in and also sit down, yes? Hmm… says you have five minutes. Seems not long enough? Then bell goes again and you stay in your seat. The men move around and you have more handsome men to talk to! Fun, right?

Oh yes. Great fun. So much fun.

Next time Yelena suggests speed dating, you’re going to drag her kicking and screaming with you.

You steal a glance at the time, only a few minutes until the shitshow kicks off.

You signal the waiter for another drink, god knows you need it.

A couple of deep, cleansing breaths and the bell goes.

The noise and activity around you does distract you.

You glance around quickly at the couple of people around you, the beautiful women in their barely there dresses, poker straight hair and lashes so long they could be used as a fan.

You’ve made an effort, of course.

A certain blonde pain in your ass made sure of it.

This top, this skirt, these shoes.

She threw them at you.

Girl, the skirt has pockets!

The woman at the table next to you looks completely underwhelmed by her first five minute attendee.

Her eyes wide and her mouth in a fixed line.

The poor guy loosens his tie nervously.

A tie? Yikes.

He seems uncomfortable, clearly aware of the unfavorable impression he's making.

You’re almost transfixed by the car crash about to unfold in front of you.

This has got to be more entertaining than your date, right?

This is the shit you could watch all night long.

A low cough alerts you to your own car crash.

You steel yourself, a fake smile already in place.

“Hey,” he says.

The smile begins to slip.

You know that voice.

Why do you know that voice?

How do you know that voice?

By the time you actually look at him, the smile is long gone.

“Oh fuck.” It could be a whisper. It could be a squeak.

Either way, it’s barely audible so of course he heard it.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he grins, slightly incredulously.

“What are you doing here, Bucky?”

“Same as you, apparently.”

“Did you follow me?”

“Why the hell would I follow you?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. Did Yelena put you up to this? I’m going to fucking kill -”

“She didn’t put me up to anything,” he held up his hands in surrender. “And, I’d like to see you try,” he adds disparagingly.

He’s not wrong.

“So, why are you here?”

“Sam thought it would be a good idea. He says I’m too introspective.”

“Nice. He’s such a good friend,” you bite back.

“Right? He’s got enough charm for both of us.”

“So you don’t want to be here either?”

“Does it look like it?” He frowned.

“Fine. So we sit in silence until you can move on.” You tell him sternly, reaching for your drink and taking a long gulp. You signal the waiter again for another.

He scoffed and shook his head.

“I’m not sitting in silence. Sam says I should talk more, so let's talk,” he declares, and you just roll your eyes at his stubbornness.

“What the hell is there to even talk about?” you ask, “you literally have no idea who I am?”

Bucky seems undeterred by your attitude.

“What kind of books do you like?” he asks casually. “What kind of… seriously?” You eye him suspiciously.

“Yeah, you’ve always got your head in a book. You say I don't know who you are but I've seen you. Recommending stuff to Yelena - not to me, though - so what do you like to read?” He leaned forward on the table, making it wobble.

“Anything,” you mutter with a sigh, “everything, really. The classics, fantasy, thrillers, romance.” He nods along as you speak. “What about you?” You ask hesitantly.

“I’ve been reading the classics lately, actually,” he admits.

“Oh sure,” you roll your eyes.

“Hey, it’s true. I just finished Pride and Prejudice.”

“And did you enjoy it?” As you ask your question, the bell rings out.

“Gentlemen, time to move on to the next table please,” the organiser calls out.

“Hold that thought, doll. Guess I’ll see you around?” He stood, waiting patiently for the man in the tie to move along.

The woman at the neighboring table suddenly seems thrilled with her new date. Bucky offers her a smile, and she responds with a giggle.

He takes his seat at the next table, but instead of engaging with his new date, he leans back over to you.

“I loved it. I like the chemistry between Elizabeth and Darcy and the layers of their relationship. It’s probably my favourite romance.”

The woman next to you looks a little put out.

“Your favourite romance? Which others have you read?” You can’t help but ask.

The man directly across from you is growing increasingly annoyed, watching the conversation unfold with a sense of irritation, like he's watching a tense tennis match.

“I liked it more than Jane Eyre, and Wuthering Heights.”

A small, surprised smile curves up the corner of your mouth as Bucky continues to ignore his next date.

“Uhh, excuse me?” she interjected, her voice laced with irritation.

“Sorry ma’am, I’ll just be a minute.” Bucky calmly replies, not breaking eye contact with you.

“I’m not a fan of Wuthering Heights either, I tried to be in my tortured youth.” You admit.

He laughs and it’s… magical.

“Any others you’d recommend?”

“North and South -”

“Gaskell?” He confirms, you nod. He mirrors your nod, a small smirk crossing his face.

“Yeah, another brooding gentleman and headstrong woman.”

“Huh, sounds familiar.”

“It does, doesn’t it?”

Meanwhile, your new date grows increasingly impatient, tapping on the table incessantly, while Bucky's date becomes frantic as she attempts to catch the organiser's attention.

The man at your own table finally interjects, addressing Bucky directly.

“Excuse me, buddy, you're supposed to move on after five minutes, you know?”

“Sorry man, just seeing where this goes,” he shrugs before looking back at you. “Got any newer recommendations? Feels like I’m… stuck in the past sometimes,” he grins lopsidedly.

“Romance, or something else?”

“Let’s stick with romance,” he leans in with his elbows on his knees.

“Try Emily Henry,” you tell him as your new drink arrives.

“Excuse me sir, you do need to move on?” The waiter insists as he carefully places your drink down.

Bucky sighs, turning back in his seat to face his actual date.

“Finally, I might be able to grab a quick minute before the bell goes -” your date starts with a smile.

“Emily Henry, huh? Book Lovers author? I saw it but didn’t pick it up,” Bucky leans over again.

“I’ve got a copy, I’ll bring it over.”

“That’s great, thanks.”

“And North and South, too?” You ask.

“I look forward to it.”

“Excuse me!” Your date interjects loudly.

You look down at the table with a blush as Bucky turns away again.

“So, how long have you been single?” You hear your date ask as the bell goes again.

“And move on again please, gentlemen.” The organiser smiles.

Your date does so, following Bucky with an angry frown.

With another table between you, you assume that’s your additional ‘date’ with Bucky over and turn to greet your next date.

Now, from three tables away, Bucky calls down the row to you.

“Hey, doll, there’s a new bookstore opened by Sam’s place. We should check it out?”

You nod to placate him while disgruntled voices around you mutter and curse his interruptions.

The bell rings again and everyone moves on once more.

From five tables away he asks about the recipe for the pasta dish you made for lunch with Yelena last week.

From seven tables away he shouts to ask whether you saw the last episode of Traitors.

“That is enough, sir. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave,” the organiser says with exasperation at the next bell.

“But we're getting along so well,” he protests as two waiters try to lead him to the door.

Giving up, he gives you a half shrug and a wave.

“See ya later, kid.”

He leaves without further disruption.

You turn back to your latest date but your enthusiasm has left the building with Bucky.

Despite the tedious hour that follows, no conversation manages to match the level of engagement you experienced in your initial encounter.

You had been under the distinct impression that he had no idea who you were. Of all of them, Yelena was the only one who made an effort. Alexei occasionally pulled you into conversation, usually when he needed an additional body on his side in an argument, but Bucky walked past your desk almost daily without a word or a glance.

You couldn't help but wonder why he chose tonight, of all evenings, to engage with you.

He could have ignored Sam's suggestion to attend. He could have ignored you completely.

You'd given him an out, offered to sit in silence.

His casual comment to your second date echoed in your mind: “Sorry man, just seeing where this goes.”

Those simple words had hinted at a deeper curiosity or interest, beyond just passing time at a speed dating event.

It had been both impressive and frustrating to see the usually stoic Bucky calling across tables, asking you questions about your job, how long you'd worked for Valentina, with an animated excitement that seemed to be reserved solely for you.

The organiser called time and you wrapped your coat tightly around you, the mid-February nights were cold and you were ready for bed.

You shot Yelena a brief text, letting her know you had arrived home safe and sound, choosing to leave her hanging when it came to details about the event.

After a fitful night, you arrived at the office the following morning, books safely nestled in your bag.

Yelena is parked at your desk, her feet casually propped up as if she'd taken permanent residency.

She raised an inquiring eyebrow.

“So, did you find the love of your life?”

“I'm never doing that again,” you warn with a pointed finger in her direction.

“Really?” A familiar voice behind you asks. “And here I thought you had a good time.”

You turn around to see Bucky standing there, his gaze fixed on you with a cheeky smile.

Yelena can barely contain her excitement, her grin widening even further.

Her feet hit the floor with a thud as she eagerly joins the conversation, eyes darting between the two of you. She turns first to Bucky.

“Wait, you were there?” Her question laced with disbelief.

Bucky shrugged nonchalantly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to have attended a speed dating event.

“Yeah, and?” He asked, his indifference only increasing Yelena's excitement.

“You went speed dating?” She asks incredulously. He doesn't look at her as he answers, he looks only at you.

“I went speed dating.” He confirms.

“And all you got were book recommendations?” You add, reaching into your bag to hand him the two books.

“Well I was kinda hoping I got a little more than that,” Bucky smirks, his expression filled with a hint of mischief.

Yelena's eyes widened, her gaze darting back and forth between you and Bucky.

“Wait, what's this? What's with you two?”

“I mean, I did think you were scared of me-” he began.

“You don't scare me,” you cut in firmly.

His smile widened further.

“Good to know.”

Yelena watches the exchange with wide eyes.

“This is so weird,” she mumbles to herself.

“So, you think you'll do it again?" You ask him brazenly.

Bucky grins at your bold question.

“Maybe,” he muses before adding with a twinkle in his eye, “but only if you're there.”

FIN

[iilmunchkiin]

"Behind the Scenes"

Below the cut includes unused panels, art and extra info about the comic! Including the storyboards and some words from yours truly! [CW]: spoilers for comic above (duh...), triggering scenes, disturbing imagery and death. ヾ(≧へ≦)〃

There was supposed to be an extra panel with Starlo desperately clutching on Ceroba's clothes after the "Your fault" scene before sliding off and kneeling in front of her, however it killed the pacing so it was left scrapped.

Extra panels I made during Starlo's breakdown, looking back I probably should've went for a similar approach like the one below this this since it gives off the feeling of doom due to the dark background making it gave emphasis to Starlo, but the current one gives off helplessness cuz everything looks so empty so it's all good. I was experimenting with the composition and give it a more manga-like appearance... which is what I was aiming for! I'm glad how it turned out! (❁´◡`❁)

Alternative face for Starlo in the content warning. Fun fact! The thing on his hat was supposed to look like a heart rate, was trying to show how much panic he was feeling with an increasing heart beat. No one noticed unfortunately but I dunno how to make it more obvious... ¯\_(ᵕ—ᴗ—)_/¯

My manager @trgr-mmaki messaging me during an... unfortunate moment.

Some more concept art and storyboards I made on paper, the amount of research I did for this was... a lot would be an understatement. I had to study the stages of decay and looked at pictures of it. Yes... pictures...

Another detail was the fight, flight or freeze response I was trying to implement here. Fight - Starlo Flight - Martlet (get it cuz she's a bird?) Freeze - Ceroba

I wanted to draw more, but I was already working on this comic for a weak and I was getting burnt out so I had to cut corners.

Originally, Martlet was supposed to be in this scene along with Clover's soul in the jar however there weren't enough space for the text so I had to cut them out. Here's what it would look like if I went with the original draft compared to the final.

Sketches

Thank you for being so patient with me and for liking my AU! It's still in development but I'm in love where it's going so far. Being completely honest, I wasn't planning on making it an AU in the first place but with all the love and support I got, it motivated me!! Thank you to everyone who's been helping me and giving me ideas, and to all of you who are still waiting!! Y'all are the best!! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

I don't know where to put this but I'd love to do more behind the scenes stuff like this, or even scrapped comics and updates on future projects! lmk what you think (￣y▽￣)╭ hihihihi~

"Rotting"

Post that started this: Link

[thewalrusespublicist]

Y'know there's a lot to criticize Yoko for but mother mercy the strength I would need if I found out that my entire wedding day was orchestrated by my fiance with the sole purpose of getting back at his boy bestie who I low-key believe he might be in love with.

[theemporium]

[11k] a seemingly random attack seems to be the start of a big problem for the new jersey devils and you find yourself one of the main targets. fortunately, you have one of the team's best as your appointed bodyguard. unfortunately, he seems to want nothing to do with you.

new jersey mob masterlist || nhl mob masterlist

warning: this is a mob au. topics and themes such as violence, blood, murder and gun use are prevalent and constant throughout the fic. please keep that in mind if you choose to proceed with this fic and the whole series.

.

“Did no one ever tell you as a kid that this much sugar is going to rot your teeth?”

“Well, brother dearest, considering you were the one who raised me, I think that’s a question you should be asking yourself.”

“You know, it’s kinda your fault her nickname is Candy,” a voice sounded from the background of the phone call. You beamed, almost imagining your brother’s face scrunching up at the callout. “Her sweet tooth is strongly encouraged by you.”

“Shut up, Jack.”

“Just pointing out the facts.” 

“No one asked.” 

“I assume you don’t want an eclair then?” You questioned, interrupting the bickering boys on the phone. The silence that followed made your grin widen. 

“Tell Peter to give me the biggest one.” 

“He always does,” you retorted, phone tucked between your ear and shoulder as the small bakery came into view. “Tell Jack I’ll get him those lemon muffins he likes.” 

“You’re the best, Candy!” Jack’s voice rang through the phone. 

“I know,” you answered simply, letting the bell ring above your head as you pushed the bakery door open. 

You smiled when you saw Peter—a sweet boy, no older than his mid-twenties with ruffled hair and constantly flushed cheeks—standing behind the counter with a stained apron on and a determined look on his face that softened when he saw you. 

“The usual?” 

“You know it.” 

“Coming right up, Candy!” 

“Luke thinks Peter has a crush on you,” Jack’s voice came through the phone once again. 

“I’ll shove a cupcake down his throat before he can try anything,” Timo grumbled. 

You rolled your eyes. “You’ll do no such thing, I’d rather not get banned,” you said, grinning a little when you heard Timo scoff. “And as flattered as I am, he’s a bit too soft for me.” 

“I bet he wouldn’t be so soft if you—” 

“Zip it, Hughes.” 

You snorted. “I’m high maintenance. Peter couldn’t handle that.” 

“No one in their right mind can.” 

“I can think of a few who could.” 

Timo huffed. “It’s like you’re trying to make me feel murderous on a Sunday. It’s God’s day. I don’t kill on Sundays.” 

“Well,” Jack started. “You did kill that dodgy fisherman a few weeks back on a Sunday—” 

“Do you ever shut up?” 

“Pete is a good guy, surely you’d want her to date him over anyone else—”

“It’s like you have a death wish.” 

“He’s winding you up,” you snorted, making yourself comfortable since the bakery was empty and settling on the counter by the cash register. “And you fall for it every time.” 

“Whatever,” Timo grumbled, and you could almost imagine the frown on his face. “Why are you over at Peter’s anyways? I thought Nico sent you to Philly.” 

“Jonas went alone instead,” you shrugged, despite the fact the boy couldn’t see you. “Apparently back up wasn’t needed and the negotiations were going fine. He wants me to head towards Buffalo instead. They are avoiding his calls.” 

Jack snorted. “Leave it to Nico to send Candy instead of leaving a voicemail.” 

“I’m scarier,” you grinned. 

Timo laughed. “Yeah, just as terrifying as a pink poodle.” 

You rolled your eyes. “I’ll suffocate you with my fur coat.”

“You wouldn’t be able to catch me in those heels.” 

“You underestimate me, Tims,” you grinned. 

He let out a disgusted groan. “Don’t call me that.” 

When it came to life in the mob, there were a few rules you had to always remember. 

One: never trust someone not sworn in. No matter what they say and no matter what they do to try and prove themselves, no man or woman not under that same oath and protection will ever have your back. 

Two: make alliances with your brain and not your heart. It sounded stupid but far too many times have people found themselves entering stupid deals and negotiations to get what they wanted, far too blinded by their own desires to take off their rose-tinted glasses. 

Three: always—and emphasis on the always—be alert. You never know when an enemy can strike. You never know who’s lingering in the shadows, ready to catch you off-guard. 

Unfortunately for you, it was the third rule you found yourself forgetting as the sound of glass smashing echoed through the small bakery. 

There was a ringing in your ears, muffling the sounds of screams and yells and gunshots as the world seemed to move in slow motion around you. You were distantly aware that one of the voices was your brother on the phone, the other Peter somewhere in the back. But you could barely focus on your own thoughts as you quickly dropped to the ground, your back pressed against one of the booths as the gunshots continued to rain through the shop. 

You cursed yourself for not being alert. You cursed yourself for leaving your gun in your car. You cursed yourself for not even peeking to see how many men were shooting before you ducked to safety. 

You were so far in your own thoughts that it took a while to realise the gunshots had stopped. 

You jumped out of your skin when you felt a hand on your shoulder, turning to find Peter staring back at you with a pale face and wide eyes. His lips were moving but you couldn’t seem to process the words he was saying. 

“Calm down,” you managed to mutter out, placing your hand over his and squeezing. “You’re gonna be okay.” 

But the boy shook his head. “We need to get a doctor.” 

You blinked, your brain hardly keeping up with him. “What? Why?” 

Peter almost looked nervous as he spoke, as white dots began to blur your vision and his face morphed into blobs of colours. His mouth was moving, a pink and reddish blob that kept changing shape, as you strained to hear what he said. 

And then, your vision went black. 

…

“You were hurt!” 

“Timo—”

“Seriously injured! Hospitalised!”

“It doesn’t count as a hospital if it’s just in the house—”

“You were shot!” Timo gritted out through clenched teeth, his fists clenched at his side so tight that his knuckles were white. 

“Shot is a bit of an exaggeration,” you murmured under your breath. 

Timo turned on his heel, his eyes narrowed in a glare. “A fucking bullet went through you, how the fuck would you describe that?”

“An unfortunate occurrence,” you retorted despite Nico shooting you a look to behave, to not wind your brother up any further. “It hardly warrants the need of a babysitter.” 

“A bodyguard,” Nico corrected.

“Semantics,” you waved him off. 

“You were a part of a targeted attack against us,” Timo hissed, the vein on his forehead starting to pop out. “A bodyguard is exactly what you need right now.” 

“Everyone in this fucking room has been a part of a targeted attack,” you snapped back at your older brother. “News flash! It comes with the fucking lives we live! You are being far too dramatic over one little bullet wound.” 

“My mistake for caring,” Timo deadpanned. 

“It’s not the worst I’ve experienced and you know it,” you retorted, watching the boy’s mouth snap shut. You let out a sigh, a wave of guilt washing over you as you pushed yourself off Nico’s couch and walked closer to your brother. “I’m fine. I promise.” 

Timo opened his mouth.

“Timo,” you said in a softer voice, watching his shoulders drop. “Look, if anything weird happens in the next few weeks or if we have any reason to believe they will specifically attack me again, then I’ll agree to a bodyguard.” 

Timo looked conflicted. “Promise?” 

“Pinky promise,” you replied, grinning far too wide for someone who was barely allowed out of bed so soon. “Now, put your big boy pants on and go do something productive.” 

Nico’s brows furrowed together. “You know I’m the boss here, right?” 

“Send him somewhere far away for the week!” 

…

“You promise you’re okay?” 

“Geez, what are you, my mother?” You grumbled, your fingers dancing over the hangers on the rail as the boy followed behind you. “I’m okay. Doctor just said no strenuous activities.” 

Alex raised his brows. “Are you mentally okay? Emotionally okay?” 

“Forget my mother, are you my therapist?” You muttered, turning to look at the boy with narrowed eyes. “How much did Timo pay you?” 

Alex scoffed. “What makes you think he paid me anything?” 

“Because you never come shopping with me, let alone willingly,” you retorted with something quite triumphant in your smile.

“Yeah, well, shopping is a strenuous activity when it comes to you,” Alex grumbled under his breath, readjusting the countless bags and hangers in his hands. “I couldn’t let you hurt yourself any more than you currently are.”

You beamed, lightly patting his cheek. “That’s why you’re my favourite, Holtzy.” 

“Timo also threatened me,” he added, a small smile tugging on his lips when he saw you roll your eyes and turn back around. “He can be scary, even when he’s across the country.”

“Nico should’ve sent him somewhere further,” you sighed, shaking your head before turning your attention back to the dresses on the rack. “Speaking of, I thought Nico put you in charge of checking up on Peter.” 

“Jack and Luke wanted to take over,” Alex shrugged. “They wanted to make sure he was actually okay.” 

You pressed your lips together in a frown. “Is that even safe? Both of them to be seen with Peter?” 

“You think someone from Toronto is lurking in a bush outside the bakery, just waiting to see the three of them together?” Alex deadpanned, unphased by the look you gave him. He had been on the receiving end far too many times. “They’ll be fine. Nico wouldn’t have allowed it if it was unsafe.”

“Nico is also completely distracted by the fact Trouba supposedly wanted to meet to talk about some alliance or something,” you snorted.

“How do you know these things?” Alex questioned, his head tilted in curiosity. 

“I have my ways,” you grinned knowingly. “And I have my ways of knowing if you repeat any of this to anyone. Especially Curtis. He is such a gossip.”

Alex paused before nodding. “Yeah no, that is fair. You think he will take Trouba up on the offer?” 

“If the incentive is right.” 

“That was frustratingly vague.” 

“I know.” 

“Well, distracted or not, Nico would never let anything bad happen to Jack and Luke, or Peter by extension,” Alex said, sounding so sure of himself. “He has worked hard to keep Peter’s presence in Jersey under wraps. He wouldn’t let Jack or Luke ruin that, not when they were the ones who asked for it.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” you hummed, waving him off. “You’re right. Blah blah blah. You done yet?” 

Alex rolled his eyes. “You asked.”

“Yeah but I was hoping you’d agree with me it was unsafe so we had an excuse to visit after this,” you retorted, flashing him an innocent smile over your shoulder. “Wanna split an apple pie?” 

Alex sighed but he agreed. 

…

Just like you assumed, the next two weeks passed without a hitch or whisper of another attack.

After Nico practically threatened to make Timo your round-the-clock bodyguard, you got the proper rest and care needed for your wound to mostly heal. You were still a little tender—and banned from your and Dawson’s weekly yoga sessions—but you felt close to your normal self, able to join some of the others on the less physical jobs, like visiting the factories and handling negotiations. 

Unfortunately for you, it was week three when disaster struck again. 

“I’m surprised Nico even let you step foot into this place,” you teased as you closed the car door behind you, finding the boy already rolling his eyes at you. 

“Sometimes a pretty boy has to do some dirty work too,” Jack replied, grinning boyishly as he looped his arm with yours before walking towards the warehouse. 

“Your ego truly astounds me,” you commented. 

“Says you,” he retorted, laughing as he tried to ignore your heel jabbing into his toes. 

It was a routine check-up, something that wasn’t meant to take longer than thirty minutes—forty tops, if you left Jack to do it alone and get distracted. But the shipment had just left and you needed to make sure nothing was left behind and assure no tracks were left behind. Nico preferred people close to him doing the checks. 

You had been mildly surprised that he sent you and Jack together, though, you had a feeling that the whole peace treaty with the Rangers was taking over Nico’s plate. 

“Everything looks good,” Jack said as he jogged back towards you, pushing some hair out of his face. “What about your side?” 

“All good,” you confirmed. “Let’s head back before Timo gets there. The dick made a bet with me that he would be back from Washington before us.” 

Jack paused. “Isn’t he meant to be staying the night?” 

You huffed. “Please, the boy has been like a fucking helicopter parent. Unless it’s on the west coast, he doesn’t like being away for a day because apparently something will happen to me if he’s not here.”

Jack shook his head fondly but his hand rested over yours, giving it a small squeeze. “He just cares, Candy.” 

You felt a flash of guilt in the pit of your stomach. “Jack—”

“Take it from a guy who lost a sibling, it isn’t fun,” he said, trying to smile and laugh through it but it fell flat. 

You frowned, not giving the boy a chance to run off before you wound your arms around him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” you murmured softly. 

“I know,” Jack whispered, his arms wrapping around you in return. “He just wants to know you’re safe. God knows I’d freak out the same if it was Luke in your position.” 

“A pair of overbearing brothers you are,” you teased, pulling back with a softer smile on your face. “You’re a good brother. And a good friend.”

Jack raised his brows. “Wow, I didn’t even have to pay you for that compliment.” 

You rolled your eyes. “I meant you’re a good friend to Peter. How’s he holding up?” 

“A bit shaken,” Jack confessed as you both walked back towards the car, his lips turned downwards. “The damage to the shop wasn’t too bad, mostly just replacing the windows and cleaning up. But he’s freaked out that people are on his tail.” 

You hummed, nodding. “And you? How do you feel?” 

Jack couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “I’m not the one that got shot.” 

“Yeah but,” you paused, waving your hand around. “If Peter is freaked out—”

“Anything freaks him out,” Jack mused. “It was just a normal, run of the mill, everyday kind of event that happens when you’re in the mob. There’s nothing or no reason to believe it was anything but a fluke—”

BOOM!

You felt Jack’s body covering yours before you even realised you were on the ground. You managed to peek over Jack’s shoulder, your eyes widening at the sight of the warehouse—the same one you were inside mere minutes ago—bursting into flames that were growing and spreading and burning wildly. 

“Okay, I take it back,” Jack muttered, his eyes glued on the burning building. “Not a fluke. Definitely targeted. We are fucked.” 

You swallowed. “Dibs on not calling Nico.” 

…

“I knew it.” 

You rolled your eyes at the cock-sureness in your brother’s voice. 

“This is serious,” Nico spoke up, shooting Timo a look before he went on a rant—again. “That’s two attacks in three weeks. And we have no fucking idea who’s behind them. Or if they are even linked at all.” 

“It’s hard when we have a plethora of enemies,” Jesper deadpanned, raising his hands in mock surrender when Nico shot him a look. “Just saying.” 

“Stop reminding me,” Nico grumbled. 

“Guess we can cross the Rangers off our list though, right, Boss?” You teased, wiggling your brows despite the glare you were receiving. 

“Candy,” Nico sighed. “Your brother is right. I think it’s best to have a bodyguard around, just for the next few weeks until we work things out.” 

“Yeah because a bodyguard is sure gonna help when the building blows up, this time with us in it,” you deadpanned. 

“I’d be more observant than Jack,” Timo commented. 

“Hey!” Jack frowned. 

“Absolutely fucking not,” you quickly stood up, shaking your head. “You’re not going to be my bodyguard. I’m not having you hovering over me twenty-four-seven. You’re bad enough as it is.” 

Timo clenched his jaw. “Yes, I am—”

“No. She’s right. You’re not,” Nico spoke up, quickly interrupting you both. “But you are getting a bodyguard. Just to take precautions until we confirm whether you’re a target or if you just happened to be at the targeted places by chance. Maybe having another pair of eyes around you, someone who’s vigilant, will be insightful.” 

“I’m not five, Nico, I can take care of myself,” you insisted, your arms crossed over your chest. “A babysitter isn’t going to do anything other than be a nuisance.” 

“The bodyguard,” Nico corrected with a pointed look. “Is necessary and will not be negotiated.” 

“This is ridiculous,” you said to him. 

“And he’s going to be with you around the clock, always by your side,” Nico said. 

Your nose scrunched up. “No.” 

“Every shopping trip, every little run into town,” Nico continued. 

You could feel your skin prickling. “Nico—

“And I’m moving him into your room to sleep, armed and ready just in case,” Nico insisted. 

This time it was Timo who stepped in. “Woah, wait a second—”

“And I know the perfect guy,” Nico grinned. “Marino will be your bodyguard.” 

It was like a switch flipped in your head, your irritance and fight disappearing as you grinned at him. “Okay.” 

“I—” Timo narrowed his eyes at you. “Why are you suddenly okay with this?” 

“Because I know how to listen to my boss, Timmy, you should try it some time,” you grinned at your brother, patting his shoulder before you sauntered out of the office. 

“Stop calling me that,” Timo groaned as he followed you out. 

Jesper waited a few moments before your voices were clearly down the hall. “You did that just to stir some drama, didn’t you?” 

“Yup,” Nico answered quite happily. 

“Thank god, everyone was sick of the pining puppy dog eyes,” Jack grumbled from the spot on Nico’s desk he was sitting on. 

…

You had known John Marino for as long as you had been with the Devils. 

He was quieter than the rest, happy to linger in the corners of the room and observe everyone. It makes sense why Nico had chosen him as the role of your bodyguard, it was John’s nature to notice things most people missed. But, ultimately, it confused the fuck out of you. 

Because for as long as you had known John, you were also certain the boy didn’t like you. 

You could count on one hand the amount of conversations you shared with the boy, and even those conversations lasted thirty seconds at most. And for a majority of those thirty seconds, it was you talking and him saying three words in response, if even that.

You had eventually accepted the fact that some personalities just clashed, that maybe you were too loud or too energetic or too extroverted for John’s liking. You tried to tell yourself you were okay with it because, at the end of the day, he was still polite and curt with you. 

But you would be lying if you said a small part of you wasn’t offended that you were nothing more than a glorified acquaintance with John Marino. 

So really, it shouldn’t have been a surprise to anyone that you were going to use the next few weeks with him to get him to like you. Or figure out what the hell his deal was. 

“You think John hates you?” Dawson repeated, like that was the detail he couldn’t seem to wrap his head around in your whole plan. 

“Hate is a strong word,” you said in response. “I’m simply going to get him to come out of his shell a little. With me specifically.” 

“Not the kinda coming he wants to do with you,” Dawson muttered under his breath. 

“What was that?” 

“Nothing!” Dawson quickly cleared his throat. He turned his gaze back towards the corridor the two of you were currently walking down. “How do you plan to get him out of his shell?”

“I don’t need a strategy to make friends,” you mused, grinning a little when the boy rolled his eyes in response. “My plan is to not have a plan. I am sure with the time spent together, he will eventually open up.”

“That still sounds like a strategy,” Dawson commented but you didn’t get the chance to reply, the door to Nico’s office swinging open and a beaming Nico taking the focus of your attention instead.

“Candy, brilliant, you’re here!” 

You blinked. “Yes, you asked me to be. You literally sent me a text ten minutes ago—” 

“Anyways!” Nico spun around, still grinning a concerning amount as he wandered back into the office, a few of the other boys already inside. “I don’t like the idea of waiting around for another attack to get answers.”

Jesper raised his brows. “Meaning?” 

“Meaning I want both attacks investigated separately so we can see if there are any dots joining,” Nico stated simply, leaning against his desk. “Bratter, you and Jack are on warehouse duty. I want to know everyone who stepped foot in that place in the last month.”

“Bit hard to do when the cameras blew up with the building but sure,” Jack grumbled.

“Candy,” Nico’s eyes shifted to you. “You and John will be on the bakery.”

“Is it really a good idea to send her back to the bakery?” Timo interrupted, stepping forward. 

“I’m not ignoring it for the rest of my life because of one attack,” you told him. “Me and Johnny can handle it.”

“Johnny?” Timo repeated incredulously before spinning around to find John, who was standing near the back of the room with a blank expression on his face. “Since when were you Johnny?” 

John only shrugged in response.

Timo’s eyes narrowed. 

“As I was saying,” Nico spoke up again. “This is how we are doing it.”

“What about the rest of us?” Timo asked.

“You have other jobs to do,” Nico said simply. “I am not putting our lives on hold over a few attacks. We continue everything else like normal. I don’t want it to get out that we are concerned over these attacks, they will make us look weak.”

Jonas’ lips twitched upwards. “And god forbid you look weak before you have the chance to woo the Rangers—”

Nico had elbowed him in the gut before he managed to finish that sentence.

…

“You’re staring.” 

You blinked, wondering for a few moments if you had imagined the boy speaking. The two of you had been sitting in your room for the better part of the last two hours, combing through the security footage from the bakery that Peter had sent you. 

And in that time, John had said two words, a simple ‘on it’ when you sent him half of the security footage to watch over.

Somewhere in that time, you found yourself sitting against your headboard, watching the boy sitting at your desk with narrowed eyes like you would somehow be able to figure him out through observation. 

Clearly, that didn’t work very well.

“Staring is considered a compliment,” you replied, watching the way his lips twitched upwards. You waited for him to turn around and go back to the footage, but you were surprised when he leaned back in his seat to look at you. 

“And are you?” He questioned, watching your head tilt in confusion. “Complimenting me?” 

“No,” you shook your head. “I’m wondering why you’re here.” 

John raised his brows. “You are aware you were shot a few weeks ago, right?” 

“Yes but you didn’t have to say yes to Nico,” you pointed out. 

John stared back at you for a few moments before he spoke. “I wanted to, Candy.” 

He didn’t give you the chance to reply before he turned back around, his focus returning to the hours of security footage he had been watching minutes before.

…

It took a little over three days to watch all the footage from the bakery’s security cameras just for it to come up with no leads. The warehouse was no better, with no real evidence or clues on who set up the attack. 

Nico was trying to keep a brave face and pretend like it wasn’t that big of a deal but you could see that it was unsettling him. Someone clearly had a target on the Devils’ back and the reason was unclear, which made it ten times harder to anticipate what the next move would be. And with the deal with the Rangers coming up, the last thing any of you needed was a weakness to be exposed. 

“We will figure it out,” Nico kept saying whenever it was questioned by some of the other members, the ones not as privy to the inner circle talks in his study late at night. “We will be fine.” 

You were pretty sure he was trying to convince himself of that fact too.

“We need to do something,” you said around a week after the investigation into the attacks began, lying on your bed with your head hanging over the edge. “How the fuck have we not found anything?” 

“Because whoever is behind it is good at covering their tracks?” Jack suggested from his spot beside you on the bed.

“Or because we are trying to catch them with little to no evidence,” John added, standing by the door of your room with his hands obediently behind his back. “You know, since everything was either burned or destroyed or has a million bullet holes in it.”

“Will you sit down? You’re stressing me out,” you muttered to him.

“No,” John stated simply.

Jack snorted. “He is jealous I took the bed.”

“I am not.” 

Jack shot you a knowing look. “He totally is.”

“There has to be something else,” you sighed, your eyes fixed on the massive pile of clothes you had thrown over the back of your desk chair. John had wrinkled his nose at all the sequins and glitter, a look which soured when you suggested he add some colour to his outfits. The constant all black was starting to make you feel angsty. 

“We’ve tried everything, bar kidnapping random people off the street and interrogating them,” John retorted.

“My plan was way more nuanced than that,” Jack insisted. “Stop making it sound dumb.”

“He can’t make it sound dumb if it is dumb,” you pointed out.

John’s lips twitched upwards.

Jack scoffed. “Since when did you two agree with each other?”

“Since you became an easy target,” you retorted, hissing when the boy reached over to pinch your arm. “Ouch, asshole.” 

“It was deserved,” Jack insisted.

You turned your head to look at John. “I thought my bodyguard was meant to protect me.” 

“Because Jack and his noodle arms are such a big threat,” John deadpanned.

Jack quickly sat up in bed. “Woah, now wait a second—” 

“It would take more than a second to fix your noodle arms.” 

Jack narrowed his eyes at the boy. “I do not know why Luke likes you so much.”

John shrugged in response. 

“Is Peter’s shop still under renovation?” You questioned, interrupting whatever weird staring contest the two of them were doing. The mention of his friend was enough for Jack to tear his eyes away from John to focus on you instead. 

“What? Yeah, they are,” he nodded with his lips turned down. “Why?” 

“Good,” was the only response you gave, quickly swinging your legs over the side of the bed as you sat up. Both boys looked at you with confused expressions, watching as you hooked the straps of your heels on one finger and reached for one of your coats with the other hand. 

John straightened. “What are you—”

“Hurry up, Johnny, we are leaving in five,” you stated, grinning when you noticed him let out a heavy sigh like he accepted the fact he wasn’t getting answers from you.

“What about me?” Jack called out.

“Don’t know and don’t care!” 

…

Peter’s Bakery was a cute and quaint shop that didn’t stand out amongst the others on the street. It fit right in with the friendly, homely neighbourhood and was a huge hit with the locals. It was a simple place, hidden right in plain sight. 

Despite the connection to the Devils, there was no reason for it to be targeted in an attack. 

“Eighty percent of Peter’s customers are locals,” you told John as you walked towards the bakery, your heels clicking against the cement in a melodic pattern. It was comforting, something to hold onto as memories of the last time you were here flooded to the front of your mind.

“So?” John questioned, his eyes hidden behind the sunglasses he had slipped on before the two of you left the house. You could bet your bottom dollar that he was already analysing everything, probably had been since the second the two of you got out of the car.

“Ten percent are people from surrounding areas and the remaining ten are tourists from states excluding the ones in the immediate surrounding area,” you continued. “And the chances of the attacker being a local is slim to none so—”

“You think the person behind all this visited the bakery before the attack?” John finished for you.

“Bingo, Johnny,” you grinned at the boy, watching as he simply pressed his lips together. 

“And you think he is just going to remember every customer he interacted with?” John asked, the judgement clear from his voice. “We already combed through the CCTV footage, we know there was nothing weird—”

“That was on camera,” you pointed out. “They could have given a different vibe in person.” 

“A different vibe?” John repeated in a dubious tone.

“I don’t see you jumping with any better ideas,” you retorted as the boy just sighed in response. “Cheer up, Johnny, the ever present frown is going to give you wrinkles.” 

John didn’t get the chance to even try and respond before you were pushing the door to the bakery open. Despite the damage to the shop, the bell above the door remained intact and dinged as the two of you walked in. It was a mess, with cans of paints and planks of wood and tools sprawled over the place, but the vague smell of cookies still somehow lingered in the air. 

“Sorry, we are closed for—oh,” Peter poked his head out from the back of the store, his lips twisting into a smile when he saw you. “Candy, I didn’t know you were stopping by.” 

“We just had a few questions for Jersey’s favourite baker,” you smiled innocently. 

“We?” Peter repeated, his eyes glancing past your shoulder like he was noticing John for the first time. A look passed over his face before he cleared his throat. “Marino.”

“Perry.” 

“It’s Peter.”

“Whoops.”

“Play nice,” you pouted, lightly elbowing John’s side before turning your smiling face back to Peter. “Excuse him, he gets pissy if he misses his afternoon nap.”

John’s jaw clenched as Peter laughed. 

“Come on in,” Peter smiled back. “I’m all yours for the next hour before the builders come back from their lunch break.”

“How convenient,” John murmured under his breath, lifting his hands in mock surrender as you shot him a look before the both of you followed him into the back of the store. 

…

“So, that was useless.” 

“No surprise there.” 

Your eyes narrowed into a glare, your mood only souring further when you found the boy wasn’t even looking back at you. His gaze seemed to be glued ahead, his jaw still clenched like it had been the whole time you had been in the bakery.

“What is your problem?” You asked, wrapping your coat further around your body as the wind began to pick up. “You have been in an awful mood since we arrived.”

“I’ve been completely normal,” John answered. Those stupid sunglasses on his face were starting to piss you off. 

“You have not,” you scoffed, shaking your head. “You were fine joking around with Jack back in the house but the second we left, you were in a downright horrible mood—hey!”

“Keep your voice down,” John grumbled, his hand now locked around your arm as he tugged you closer to his side. 

You let out a snort of laughter. “You’re funny if you think—”

“Someone has been following us since we left the bakery,” John said, his voice low and barely a muscle on his face moving as he spoke. “Lower your voice and follow me.” 

And for once, you listened. 

There was a growing temptation to look back. To just take a peek over your shoulder and see the face of the person who was following you, to try and get an idea of who it was. There was no coincidence that the two of you were being followed the second you left the bakery, the same goddamn place you were first attacked. 

You wondered if it was the same person. You wonder if they were the one that shot the gun that hit you. You wondered if—

“You’re spiralling,” John’s voice cut through your thoughts.

“Am not,” you retorted, but it sounded weak to your own ears.

“Lie better,” John insisted, his hand tightening around your arm as he spoke. 

It was like you could hear the footsteps behind you now, like they were loud and clear the second John had pointed them out to you. When you sped up, so did they. When you slowed down, so did they. They were matching your moves and following the two of you and the car was too far away and you couldn’t call for backup without alerting the person and—

“Shhhh, breathe for me.” 

You blinked before you even realised what was happening. Torn out of your own spiralling thoughts, you found yourself pressed against a wall, the cold bricks jabbing into your back but the comfort was the least of your problems. John was pressed up against you, not an inch of you exposed to the rest of the world as he kept you pinned between him and the wall.

You lifted your head to watch his side profile, watch the way he kept his eyes on the entryway to the alley he had pulled you down before you even realised what was happening. You watched the way his cheeks flushed pink, probably from the nipping weather (though it was hard to care about that when he was like a furnace against you). You watched the way he looked so focused, so in his element. 

It was hard to doubt Nico’s choice when you were seeing John do just what he did best.

“I think it’s all clear,” he eventually said, breaking the silence that had been lingering since he dragged you into the alley.

You swallowed harshly. “You sure?” 

“Have I given you any reason to doubt I wouldn’t take your safety seriously?” John asked, turning his head so he was finally looking at you. You watched him closely, watched the way his eyes darted over your face and lingered on your lips for a moment too long before returning to your eyes.

“No,” you replied honestly.

“Then there’s your answer,” he murmured, lingering for a few moments before he took a step back. “Let’s go back to the house.”

You tried not to think about how cold you were the second he stepped away. 

…

Things were starting to heat up with the Rangers deal.

Which, considering the faces of everyone in Nico’s study at that current moment, was incredibly fucking shocking. 

“You’re actually going through with it?” Jesper was the one to speak first, staring at Nico with wide eyes. “I thought we were just entertaining them to see what they want.” 

“Yes, and I listened and I agreed to it,” Nico said as he leaned back in his chair. “So we are going forth with the deal.”

“We have been fighting them for years,” Jack piped in, his brows furrowed together like he was trying to piece together a deal he didn’t even know the terms of fully. You weren’t even sure Nico knew the details of the deal yet. 

“Exactly,” Nico nodded. “And look how much we have lost, both of us. It’s time to turn a new leaf.” 

Jack flinched. 

You pressed a hand between the blades of his shoulders, leaving it there until you could feel the boy slowly start to relax under your touch.

“This isn’t sustainable for either of us,” Nico continued, though it was softer this time. “We need to start thinking about what’s best for the Devils.”

“And buddying up with the Rangers is the solution?” Jonas asked, no judgement in his voice (yet). Just curiosity.

“Not just with them,” Nico admitted. “I want to start solidifying our relationships.” 

And it was that exact reason that Nico decided to send you to Pittsburgh. 

The members of the Steel City mob were not ones the Devils knew well, nor did they have much of a history with. It was good, in the sense that there was no awkward bad blood to get over (read: like the current Rangers deal Nico was trying to pull). But it also meant there was no reason for either group to want a relationship.

Not unless you were Nico Hischier and Sidney Crosby, suddenly interested in creating an alliance that would somehow benefit both groups involved.

It was weird travelling with John. Usually when Nico sent you on missions like this, you were alone. On the off chance you needed back up, it would be Timo or Dawson or Jack by your side. It should have felt unsettling to have John, but it was comforting.

It was comforting to know he had your back, that you didn’t have to spend the whole trip looking over your shoulder. 

And it was better than when one of the others were with you. John let you take control, let you do the talking, let you sit across from Sidney and say what you wanted without trying to cut in or take over the conversation. 

It was comforting but also such a mindfuck to know this was all from the same boy who practically avoided you until a few weeks ago.

Where was this John before?

All in all, the meeting went well. There was still a lot to discuss, to negotiate, to consider. But it was the start to an alliance between the Devils and the Penguins, a welcome and positive start. And that was more than enough for an overnight trip. Sidney had even been kind enough to offer a place in one of the countless establishments owned by the Penguins.

“Two rooms?” He said like it was a nicety, rather than a fact he already knew.

“One,” John corrected, his face remaining blank as he spoke. But there was a hint of ‘no further argument’ in his voice.

Sidney’s lips twitched upwards. “One it is, then.” 

…

The hotel room was nice. More than nice, if you were being completely honest. 

It felt far too fancy for a single night’s stay but you assumed the Penguins were wanting to keep the good relationship going, to show they were serious, to show how well they could treat those they shared a good alliance with. It felt more like a studio apartment than a hotel room.

And despite it all, there was only one bed.

It had taken around thirty minutes of arguing before John accepted that the bed was large enough for you both to share for the night. He had been insistent he could use the couch by the window, that it was big and comfy enough for him. 

It made you want to scream. 

You didn’t get it. You really didn’t fucking get it. 

If someone had asked you a few months ago, you would have bet your life on the fact that John didn’t like you. He was clearly quite quiet and reserved, preferring to keep to himself. You would have assumed the reasons he stayed away from you were just that—that you were too loud, too out there, too flashy.

And then he became your bodyguard. And there were these moments where you thought you were seeing a different John, a John that you could get along with. A John that would maybe even be able to handle how loud and out there and flashy you were.

Until moments like this, moments where it felt like he would rather be anywhere but beside you. Where it felt like he was here out of obligation because of Nico’s orders. 

“Why do you hate me?” 

It had been over an hour since the two of you turned the lights off and settled down for the night. If you were being honest, you assumed he had fallen asleep a while ago but it still hadn’t stopped you from blurting the question out into the dark room, to get it off your chest before you felt like you would explode.

You hadn’t expected to feel him tense up beside you. You hadn’t expected him to still be awake.

“What?” 

You remained silent.

You could hear shuffling from his side of the bed. You wondered if he was turning to face you. You couldn’t bring yourself to look.

“Candy,” John said, his voice heavy with an emotion you couldn’t quite pinpoint. “What makes you think I hate you?”

“Because what else am I to think?” You asked, your voice barely above a whisper as you spoke. “You ignored me before this, before Nico told you to watch over me. You barely said three words to me in the years I have been here and—”

You cut yourself off. The silence remained for a few minutes and you wondered if he had genuinely fallen asleep in that time. You still couldn’t bring yourself to look.

“I don’t hate you,” John whispered. “I never did.” 

You let out a shaky breath.

“You were just so…you,” John confessed. “It was intimidating. I guess I didn’t think I was interesting enough.” 

You frowned. “What?” 

“I never said my reason made sense,” John retorted and you couldn’t help but snort a little. “I promise that I never hated you, Candy. Nobody could hate you.” 

You swallowed. “And I’m meant to believe that?” 

“I would never lie to you,” John said confidently. “Never have and never will.”

“Okay,” you whispered as you reached your hand back. It took a few seconds of patting the space between you both before you found his hand and gave it a small squeeze. “I don’t hate you either.”

“That’s reassuring.” 

“Goodnight, Johnny.” 

“Goodnight, Candy.” 

…

“We think we have found a link between the attacks.” 

“We?” 

“Apologies,” Nico corrected, letting out a sigh as Jesper glared at the side of his head. “Jesper thinks he has found a link.” 

“It’s a guess,” Jesper admitted after a few moments as the lot of you surrounded the map that was currently sprawled out over the length of Nico’s desk. “But it’s better than nothing.” 

“What makes you think they will even attack again?” Jonas questioned as he glanced between the circled locations with a frown.

“We don’t,” Nico answered.

“Well, we can assume they will try again considering none of the other attacks ended with what they wanted,” Jack spoke up, catching your eye as he sheepishly shrugged. “Sorry, Candy.”

Timo’s frown deepened.

“Each of these locations would fit their agenda,” Jesper said as he rapped his knuckles against the map before frowning. “If we have guessed their agenda correctly.”

“You will have,” you assured, squeezing the blond’s shoulder with a smile. “Good job, Bratter.” 

“We are going to have these locations on a constant patrol for the next week,” Nico said, frowning down at the map like he was already organising the patrol schedule in his head (even though Jonas would be the one to have a printed and laminated version on the notice board in the foyer by that very evening). “We are due another attack soon, if these people are sticking to a schedule.” 

“Dibs the club by the Italian place,” you spoke up, flashing Jack a grin where he let out an exaggerated groan. “Their garlic bread would be the perfect stakeout snack.” 

Nico opened his mouth but Timo was already talking before he had the chance to say anything.

“What makes you think you’re a part of this?” Timo asked with a frown.

You raised your brows. “Maybe the fact I am in this room right now.”

“No,” Timo shook his head. “Absolutely not. You’re not getting involved in this.”

“Timo—”

“You are one of their targets,” Timo gritted out between clenched teeth. “It would be fucking stupid to put you on patrol. We may as well hand you over on a silver platter.”

“You’re being dramatic,” you said. “I’ll be with John—”

“No, I am being realistic,” Timo corrected. “You’re staying behind. End of discussion.” 

You could feel your temper starting to rise, feeling that itch under your skin that was biting to fight back. “What? You suddenly don’t trust John?” 

“No, I don’t trust you,” Timo retorted, the muscles in his jaw clenching. “You’re a liability, Candy.” 

You froze for a moment before scoffing. “Wow. Wow.”

To his credit, Timo did look apologetic the second the words settled in the room. “Candy, I didn’t—”

“What? You didn’t mean it?” You let out a humourless laugh, shaking your head. “No, you meant it, Timo. You meant it just like you meant it in San Jose and look where that got us.”

A look of hurt flashed across your brother’s face. “That’s not fair—”

“Whatever,” you gritted out, stepping back when he tried to reach you and turning on your heel before anyone else had the chance to say anything. You turned and walked towards the door and kept walking, blood roaring in your ears and tears welling in your eyes with every step. 

…

“Got room for one more?”

John didn’t wait for your response as he settled down on the spot beside you. He glanced around, letting out a hum of amusement as he took in the full brunt of your wardrobe. It had been its own room at one point, before you had taken it over and connected it to your bedroom. Now, it was full of rails and shelves bursting with clothes and shoes in so many colours that John was surprised his head didn’t hurt the second he walked in. 

He leaned back against one of the set of drawers, laughing a little when he felt a couple of feathers brushing against the back of his neck. “Do you actually wear feather boas?”

Your lips twitched upwards. “I got them when Luke and Curtis bet fifty bucks that I didn’t have them ‘in my collection’.” 

John smiled a little. “So you have them to help Luke in a bet?”

You shot him a look. “Don’t be silly, I was helping Curtis win the bet.” 

John did laugh this time, a proper laugh that caught you by surprise. Not that he seemed put off by the way you were blatantly staring at him. Instead, he nudged his shoulder against yours and just smiled. 

Your eyes fluttered shut as you leaned your head against his shoulder. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” John asked in a soft voice. 

“I just…” You trailed off, trying to find the words to describe everything racing on inside your head. “I was just so pissed off and he wasn’t listening to me and I…I knew it would hurt. I wanted it to hurt.” You paused. “Does that make me a bad person?” 

“Maybe,” John whispered. “But I don’t think he was a great person at that moment either.” 

“I know the San Jose stuff upsets him,” you whispered, pressing your cheek further into the fabric of his shirt until his cologne and the vague scent of fabric softener was the only thing you could focus on. “He regrets it every day. He regrets that he left me behind that day, that he thought I was too much of a liability to go away with him.” 

John pressed his cheek against the top of your head. “What happened in San Jose wasn’t your fault or his. It was them. It was the Sharks and their twisted morals over there and—” 

“I’m his sister and I almost died because of a decision he made,” you whispered, your voice cracking as you spoke. “He will always blame himself, even if no one else thinks it. Even if he is the reason I’m alive now and we got out of there.”

John didn’t say anything. 

“Just like I will always blame myself for trusting them blindly,” you muttered, swallowing the words that felt like they were stuck in the back of your throat. “I forgot the basic rules of this life. I forgot then and I forgot when I was at Peter’s when the attack happened and—” 

“Candy,” John murmured, his arm winding around your body and pulling you further into his side. “It wasn’t your fault.” 

You pressed your face further into him, your tears beginning to soak the shirt he was wearing but he didn’t care. 

“You’re a force to be reckoned with, Candy,” John continued, his lips pressed against the top of your head as he left a lingering kiss. “None of it was your fault.”

You stayed silent. 

“And you’re not a bad person. You’re allowed to get angry and upset. You’re allowed to lash out.” John pressed another kiss to your forehead. “Your brother loves you and nothing will ever change that.”

John held you in his arms as the two of you sat on the floor of your wardrobe. He held you as you cried and cried until you couldn’t anymore. He held you until keeping your eyes open was too much. And then he carried you to bed, taking his spot in your room and letting the silence settle over the room until the next morning. 

The apology from Timo didn’t really come in the form of words, maybe because you and your brother both knew that more than words were needed. It was at the next Devils Sunday dinner. He didn’t say anything as he placed a box on your plate (a box you recognised with the logo of Peter’s Bakery) and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. 

“We will never let them win,” he murmured, the same words he whispered that fateful night in San Jose before the two of you escaped. 

“Never,” you whispered back.

Timo just smiled, soft and genuine and just as forgiving as it was apologetic, before he settled down in his spot at the table.

He didn’t even say anything about John’s arm wrapped around the back of your chair for the duration of the whole dinner.

…

The days passed and still no attack came.

The deal with the Rangers was becoming more serious. Not that you doubted Nico’s word at all. It was just…rivalry against the Rangers was all you had known. You heard whispers about them when you were on the west coast. You saw the extent of their violence when you and Timo fled to New Jersey. 

It was hard to imagine a life where that violence wasn’t instigated, wasn’t retaliated against, wasn’t sought out. 

“It will work.” 

You raised your brows, watching the way Nico was nodding to himself as he glanced over the papers in front of him. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” 

Jack snorted. “More like Jesper. He doesn’t think it’s a good idea.” 

“He doesn’t trust them,” Nico corrected.

 “And, to be fair, they have given us no reason to trust them,” you added.

“Just as much as they should trust us,” John deadpanned, once again refusing to sit down as he stood left to your chair. 

“They need it as much as we do,” Nico pointed out. 

“What stock could they possibly need from us?” You questioned, watching the way the boy paused before clearing his throat. Your eyes narrowed at your boss, like it would be enough to see the thoughts whirling around in his head. “Nico, what did you agree to?” 

Nico let out a sigh, leaning back in his chair. “A marriage.” 

Jack blinked.

“A marriage?” You repeated, hissing. “Are you crazy? You want to join us to them forever like that?” 

“It’s an alliance, Candy,” Nico stated simply. “The idea is that it would be long lasting.” 

“But a marriage, Nico,” you shook your head. “They wouldn’t just accept a random marriage, not unless Trouba thought he could find a way to get into the top circle. Who did you offer up?” 

“Why? You offering yourself?” Jack asked, his lips twitching upwards. 

But the joke fell flat when John stepped forward, stepped closer to you. “No. She’s not.” 

Your eyes widened a little at the biting tone in his voice. “Hey—”

“You are not marrying any of them,” John gritted out through clenched teeth. “I refuse.” 

“You refuse?” You repeated, your head tilting as you turned to look at the boy in disbelief. “Pretty sure it’s my decision, Johnny.”

“Yeah, Johnny,” Jack said, his eyes glittering in amusement. Not that you could see it, with your focus now turned to the other boy. But John could see it. He could see it and could see the way Jack was actively holding back his laughter. “If Candy wants to marry one of Trouba’s men, then who are we to stop her?” 

John’s jaw clenched, an emotion you couldn’t quite read shining in his eyes. “No.” 

Nico sighed deeply.

Jack snorted. “You’re not even being subtle about it, bud.” 

You whirled around. “Subtle about what?” 

Jack simply lifted his hands in mock surrender. 

You turned back to look at John, a mix of emotions flooding through you when he failed to meet your eyes. “I thought you never lied to me.” 

“I’m not lying,” John said, his eyes locked on Jack, who was beaming in response. 

“No, he’s just omitting to tell the truth,” Jack retorted.

“Jack,” Nico said in a warning voice.

“Oh, come on,” Jack whined, turning to pout at the older boy. “We all know John is just—” 

“Enough,” Nico interrupted, shaking his head. “Go to Peter’s.” 

Jack frowned. “What?”

“I’m telling you right now to go stake out at Peter’s tonight,” Nico said—or, more accurately, commanded. “I want you to stick to the post for the rest of the night.” 

Jack opened his mouth to argue but noted the glare Nico was sending him and—smartly—decided to keep his mouth shut. He glanced between you and John, muttering something under his breath before he jumped off his spot on the desk and made his way towards the door.

“And just to be clear,” Nico spoke up before Jack could leave the room. “Candy is not the one marrying a Ranger. None of you are.”

John’s brows furrowed together. “So who is?”

“Me.”

…

You hadn’t said a word to John since the two of you left Nico’s study. 

It was one thing to make a deal with the Rangers. It was another for that deal to include an arranged marriage, something that seemed so archaic and old-fashioned for Nico’s taste. But for Nico himself to be involved? To tie himself to the Rangers in such a way? 

It was fucking mind-blowing.

You could only imagine the kind of girl the Rangers would offer to play the part of Nico Hischier’s wife.

But despite the revelation, your mind was reeling for a very different reason. And said reason happened to be just behind you, dressed in all black (no surprise there) and looking like a damn kicked puppy at the silent treatment you had been giving him.

John watched you with careful eyes as you swung the door to your bedroom open, barely acknowledging the small ‘ooft’ he let out when the rebound of the door almost hit him in the face. 

“Candy–” John started the second the door clicked shut behind him.

But you barely gave him the chance to continue, already spinning around on your heel to glare at him. “Do not even try it.” 

“I meant what I said when I told you I would never lie to you,” John said, staying rooted in his spot even though his stomach twisted at the hurt written across your face. “I have never lied to you. I swear on my life.” 

You watched him for a few moments, a muscle in your jaw ticking before you asked him something that completely caught him off guard. 

“Why did you take this job?”

John blinked. “What?”

“Why did you take this job?” You repeated, keeping your eyes locked on him as you took a step closer. 

“You know why,” John said, swallowing harshly. “You were a target and Nico appointed me as your bodyguard—”

“That’s not the only reason,” you said bluntly. “There is more to it. You know it. Jack knows it. Hell, everyone but me seems to know it. So what is the reason?” 

John let out a breath. “I can’t tell you.” 

You took another step towards him, eyes narrowed in determination. “Can’t or won’t?” 

John could feel his chest tightening. “Candy, please.” 

“You may not have been lying before but you weren’t telling me the truth,” you questioned, pausing when you were right in front of him. “Why did you take this job?” 

John shook his head.

“John,” you rasped. “Tell me.” 

He kept shaking his head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because it will change nothing!” John frowned a little, clearing his throat as he lowered his voice. “Because I can’t do anything about it.” 

You blinked, confused. “What?” 

“Can we please just drop this?” John whispered, his voice cracking a little. 

“No,” you shook your head, determined. “What won’t it change?” 

John pressed his lips together.

You sighed. “Johnny—”

“Us,” John finally muttered out. “It won’t change us. It won’t change how I feel about you. It won’t change the fact that you’re you and you’re Timo’s sister and I shouldn’t want you but I really fucking do and—”

“Kiss me.”

John blinked, stuttering over his choked breath. “Candy, you don’t mean that.”

“Did I stutter?” You retorted.

“We can’t,” John tried again, but you could see his resolve crumbling. You could see the way his eyes dropped to your lips, the way they lingered on your mouth. 

“Says who?” You asked, watching as the boy failed to find a response. “Kiss me, Johnny.”

John waited one, two, three seconds before he surged forward, before his hands cupped your face and his lips were pressed against yours with a passion you had never experienced before. You barely had a chance to grip his shirt before he was tugging you closer, before he was tilting his head and deepening the kiss and moaning against your lips like it was the hottest thing he had ever done in his life.

In some ways, it was. 

Years of fantasies and feelings and thoughts and dreams lead to this moment. Years of John keeping his feelings hidden, keeping them locked away, thinking he never stood a chance. Years of him hopelessly pining and wanting and wishing. Years of just loving you just how you were. 

His fingers entangled themselves in your hair, tilting your head to match his pace as his other hand slid down to wind around your waist and pull you closer. He heard the little gasp you let out, felt the way you fisted the fabric of his shirt, listened to the little breathless ‘Johnny’ you sighed against his lips.

He felt feral. 

He hadn’t even noticed you slowly leading him deeper into the room, step by step, until your knees hit the back of the bed and you were dragging him down with you. Only then did the last few minutes seem to hit him like a freight train. He pushed up onto his elbows, chest heaving with soft pants and face flushed as he stared down at you. 

“Candy—” He started but you quickly placed your finger over his lips..

“I want this. I want you. I don’t want to hear whatever noble bullshit you have been telling yourself to hold yourself back. I just want you, Johnny,” you said, breathing heavily as your eyes lingered on his kiss-swollen lips before returning to meet his gaze. “If you don’t want this, then I get that. But only if you don’t want this. Nothing to do with my brother or some bullshit sense of morality or the rest of this damn house.” 

John swallowed, lifting one hand to slowly push some hair away from your face and tuck it behind your ear. You waited with a bated breath, watching as his eyes took in every single detail of you before he leaned down to kiss you—sweeter, softer than before.

“I want you more than you could ever know,” he whispered against your lips, his thumb brushing against your cheek as he spoke.

“Kiss me again,” you murmured, pushing your cheek further into his touch.

“Whatever you want, Candy,” John murmured before leaning down to kiss you again. 

…

The attack happened three days later. 

It was anticipated, just not on a warehouse you were expecting. The knowledge that the pattern you thought you had noticed was actually false laid heavy on all your shoulders, as the realisation of something much bigger than any of you were anticipating settled. This went beyond a few targeted attacks, this went beyond you. 

This was the start of a war, and even if none of you wanted to say it out loud, you were all thinking it.

“What now?” Jack asked as you all stood around Nico’s study, staring helplessly at the map laid out on Nico’s desk.

“We prepare ourselves,” Nico said, his voice sounding heavy and tired. You didn’t even blame him. He had been keeping on a confident front, letting the others think that they had this all under control because he couldn’t spiral. He couldn’t let them all think there was a reason to panic. You could only imagine how much harder it was getting with each passing day, with each attack.

Jesper raised his brows. “So you’re breaking the deal with the Rangers?” 

“No,” Nico shook his head, letting out a long sigh. It had been a recurring argument between the two of them for the last few weeks. “If this means what we think it means, it would be more beneficial to us to have the Rangers as allies.” 

“Unless they are the ones behind it,” Jesper retorted.

“I’m going through with the deal and that’s final,” Nico said, raising his voice a little. It wasn’t a lot. But it was enough for everyone else in the room to fall silent. “And if you keep being pissy about it, I’ll make sure you sit next to Timo at the wedding.” 

Jesper gaped. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Nico’s eyes glimmered. “But I would.”

“Woah, why is that a bad thing?” Timo scoffed, looking between the two of them with a frown. “I’m a fucking delight.”

Suddenly, everyone else looked away. 

Timo’s frown deepened. “What? What is everyone not telling me?” 

It was at that very moment Luke walked through the door, foil packet rustling loudly as he shoved his hand in it and kicked the door closed behind him. He paused when he noted the tension in the room, glancing between everyone with pinched eyebrows.

“Damn, I didn’t know getting snacks for a team meeting was illegal.”

“Rusty!” Timo whirled around, his eyes gleaming. “Did they tell you too?” 

“Tell me what?” Luke questioned before his eyes widened. “Oh shit, they told you John finally grew a pair and made a move on Candy? Huh, you’re much calmer than I—”

“JOHN DID WHAT?!”

Luke paused, his lips parting in realisation. “Oh. Whoops.”

Timo whirled around to look at you and then John, seeming to finally notice the arm the boy had wrapped around your waist. He gasped loudly, shaking his head as he placed a hand on his chest. 

“And you all fucking knew? Oh god, the betrayal! It hurts! It physically hurts!” 

“I am not sitting beside that at the wedding,” Jesper said, shaking his head. “Look how dramatic he is being!”

“He will mellow out by the wedding,” Nico responded, looking far too amused by the theatrics playing out in the middle of his study. 

“It’s Timo. When the fuck as he ever mellowed out?” Jesper retorted with a scoff. 

You turned to find John watching your older brother with a pinched expression. It would have made you snort if you couldn’t feel the way he was gripping your hips, like he was ready to put you between him and your dramatic brother.

“Welcome to the family, Johnny.” 

John’s nose scrunched. “I take it all back.” 

You snorted. “Too late. No returns. You’re stuck with me.” 

“It’s not you I want to return,” John retorted, pulling you closer to him. “I’d do it all over again if I could be stuck with you for the rest of my life.” 

“Sap,” you grinned, looking far too pleased with his admission. “Even if you have to take on my brother?” 

John’s eyes softened as he turned to look at you. “Nothing could scare me away from you, baby. Nothing.”

You beamed. “Good, because you have about thirty seconds before Timo realises he has free will and a gun in his left holster.” 

There was a lot that was uncertain about the future, but you were pretty damn confident that John Marino was not one of them.

.

[tooturtly]

Thinking about how the origin of Harrow and Gideon’s fucked up relationship (you know, being children in the Ninth House) actually adds a lot of context to exactly why they are like that, but because it’s technically not on the page it’s harder to understand.

In anthropology and associated fields there’s a term called “habitus” that I think is useful for this discussion (I also like spreading anthropology bc this is the brainrot impacting the course of my career). This is an academic way of saying behavior that is so ingrained, so habitual, it doesn’t even require thought or pass any level of notice. How you walk is an example of habitus, how you chop vegetables, how you enter a room, what clothes you pick for certain occasions, literally anything you can do could be an example of habitus.

Humans are hardwired to learn, we are constantly picking up cues from the people and society around us from the moment we are born until the moment we die. We do it so much and so easily that we don’t notice unless it’s very overt, like someone holding your hand and explaining how to do something. Even then you will subconsciously pick up the ways that person does things, making it your own habitus.

For Gideon and Harrow, their habitus is different from our own as the readers, because habitus is deeply cultural, it comes from mirroring the behaviors around you. They have been taught how to act, how to speak, how to think in the ways of the Ninth, no matter how willingly or unwillingly they learned.

They weren’t born with a deeply antagonistic relationship, it was taught to them. Harrow was taught to uphold the Ninth, to give her entire life to it, to die for it so that the cost of her birth can be worth it. Her parents also modeled a strong aversion to Gideon. To avoid, to belittle, to ignore her so that they can ignore the generation they sold to keep the line of the Tombkeepers. Harrow obviously picked up this behavior, modeling it as she picked up the mantle of running the Ninth House at all of ten years old (which is insane by the way. Let’s take a moment for ten year old Harrow, a literal child who just watched her parents kill themselves and their cavalier and who expected her to kill herself, who had to pick up the pieces and try to do what they had modeled for her).

And then we have Gideon: a child (she’s still a teen in Nona, she hasn’t aged past 19) who at first wanted to fit in, who still desperately craves acceptance and intimacy, but who has been ignored, belittled, and abused her whole life. Who then gets that behavior repeated by the only peer she could possibly have.

She became a self fulfilling prophecy. She was treated as a nuisance who can do no right, so that’s what she became. She was punished either way for existing, so she did what was expected. Just as Harrow did what was expected of her in her roles, Gideon acted like what Crux saw in her.

They were both children failed in so many ways by the adults around them. Even Aiglamene couldn’t support Gideon wholly without going against the rulers of her house. So because they were children, they did what was modeled and taught to them. They fulfilled the prophecies laid out by the adults in their lives.

They, so far, have continued the cycles of abuse they were taught. Even in Nona, Kiriona is modeling the pain and anguish she has experienced all her life, now with the addition of Ianthe’s perspective on her life influencing her. (Ianthe comes from a vastly different cultural background, and hasn’t been inside either of their minds, so her interpretation of their relationship and the culturally appropriate response is wildly different from either of their readings of it)

It almost reminds me of Wuthering Heights, how to truly break the cycle you have to let the past go and find someplace new. But that’s just another series with vaguely religious undertones and some weird abuse and incestuous dynamics, likely completely unrelated. (Note, I haven’t read wuthering heights in a hot minute, but when I did I saw it as more a story of inter generational violence rather than as romantic love, so take my thoughts with some salt)

The toxic, antagonistic, and later interdependent (though the antagonism is also interdependent) relationship between Gideon and Harrow doesn’t have to continue. They can break the cycle. The cycle that strongly parallels John and Alecto in many ways. I hope they do. But their relationship as it is makes sense if you consider both characters, how they were raised, and how they were taught to act, without necessarily saying that one character or the other is evil/corrupt/the relationship is unsalvageable.

The cultural layers included in tlt are vital to unpacking the characters, and their relationships. We don’t always get it overtly because we’re inside the characters minds, but there’s important stuff included in there. To unpack all of it would take probably a dissertation of length and then you’d still miss some, but I have tried my best.

[blanska]

I don't think his story was about Caterina in Veilguard. I think it was about what he does with the Spite situation. Will he keep surpressing every single emotion he has plus the demon that lives inside him? Or will he finally face or at least accept that these things exist? Caterina seemed like a background character here at least to me. But Lucanis trying to lock up Spite and not even let him communicate to anyone, Lucanis trying to believe that his cousin wouldn't betray him like he did even when he could logically put two and two together, these seemed to be more in the forefront.

I think his character growth was that at first he did his best to dissociate from the whole being rescued situation, then he finally accepted that yes, he was out, no, things cannot be like they were before:

he is now an abomination stuck with a demon forever

his cousin is not who he used to be and who he would like him to be

he doesn't have the excuse of being held captive anymore to avoid facing this new life

and then Caterina makes him First Talon which he thought he was safe from for at least a few more years

His character growth is that he accepts the reality of all of this and this will allow him to change, grow, adapt or change his environment perhaps. His character growth is him realizing that Spite is not what he assumed he was, he can be reasoned with, he is much more than an evil demon and trying to ignore their situation will never help. His growth is the moment where he helps Spite to resist Illario's blood magic trick and Spite helps him in return. They do this as one for a common goal, accepting that they share not just a body, but a life.

And I have the impression that there is a quiet happening in the background too. During Veilguard he can experience a community, a role, a way of being without Caterina and the Crows controlling his every thought. He's done a great job becoming what Caterina wanted him to be, but that didn't erase his true self. And here in the Veilguard - even though he's stubbornly holding onto his old sense of identity - he can try a different way of being, he can cook for everyone, care for them, keep them safe and provide for them. He can go to the book club and whatever else they come up with and he can be... not the Demon of Vyrantium, not the favored Dellamorte grandson, not the mage killing weapon... just him. Whatever that is. Because as they get to know each other, this group doesn't have the same expectations or any expectations forced on him about what he has to be. And I think this experience might help with the acceptance, with starting to believe that once he manages to leave the prison of his mind, there might be the possibility of something new or better.

I see this as a huge step and a big change, because it does seem impossible to break out of depression and hopelessness, of hiding away.

I would love a story about him dealing with his Caterina issues, but I don't think this story had much to do with that particular topic. And I don't know if the Lucanis that I saw in Veilguard would be able to deal with it without taking this first step of acceptance.

Lucanis deserved better. He had zero character growth. His story in Tevinter Nights was about how he became Caterina's puppet, obeying her every order, even at the cost of his own death. In the game, he never stood up against her. He folded and accepted the role of First Talon. A role he never even wanted.

Lucanis knows nothing about politics or how to be a leader. He will get assassinated or he should give up his position. In the game he tells us he is First Talon is name, but Caterina is still the boss. This makes Lucanis look like a very weak First Talon, who has zero control. Lucanis was right in Tevinter Nights about Illario being a better candidate to First Talon.

Caterina won in the end. She got what she wanted. There should have been an option for Lucanis to reject this promotion. To show everyone he is no longer Caterina's puppet.

Lucanis deserved better.

[kissboybyler]

it gets to me so much sometimes when i think that, in whichever fandom, the GA or just most people tend to ship two characters just because they are canon. Like mike and el, for instance, they are canon, they have kissing scenes and they dance at the ball and they…hug?! But what do they even talk about? What’s the music playing in the background? What’s the context of their interactions? Why, why do they love each other? Do they make each other better, do they find missing parts of themselves in the form of another person? Are there hints and tells and color-codes that just…exist to symbolise their love?

Why do we ship these characters? What’s is it about their love that is so strong? And don’t get me wrong, i also believe -like many other bylers/ fans of the show- that mike and el grew to love each other, to appreciate and kind of need each other. But not for the right reasons.

I mean, mike needs to be needed, to be able to help or even save another person, to feel loved and wanted. But he also needs to allow himself to be who he is, outside of “forced conformity” (“that’s what’s killing the kids” after all!)

El, on the other hand, needs to find who she is, but firstly she needs to have a safe place where she is allowed to kind of just exist and then blossom into her true self. And bumping into mike, who eventually grew to appreciate and embrace her, she felt safe for the first time. And alongside her, mike felt needed, like he could protect her and be there for her and make her happy.

But now el, who has established both meaningful familial relationships and friendships, needs to find out who she is. How can we expect her to grow when she’s in a relationship with the first person she met right after she broke out of the lab (her literal prison), who can’t even talk about any other part of her that he loves other than her powers?

And i’ve read many many other people write about this, about how in s4, when mike wasn’t with el he embraced his geeky, nerdy and weird self but when he finally reunited with el, he had to hide himself from her (as did she!). He just…couldn’t be himself around her.

But like, apart from the problems in their relationship, i really just don’t understand why people ship them. It’s just…mike cant be himself around el and el doesn’t have room to find herself when she’s with mike. It literally doesn’t make any mathematical sense.

And then they say we’re delusional for thinking, for proving, that there are astronomically higher chances for these two not to be endgame, for el to be single and for mike and will to get together. Because it makes sense…right? Like, el will be able to find herself outside of a relationship, she won’t be dictated by anyone but her own self, and mike and will… do i really have to elaborate? Like, in every single aspect of stranger things, from musical titles and colour-codes, parallels and loving, longing stares, hand touches, over-protectiveness, deep and meaningful understanding to posters and freaking funko-pops, interviews and good ol’ fashioned cinematography and storytelling… it all points to them, if you connect the dots.

And how, how is it possible that so many dots have been put into such perfect places, to make such a beautifully crafted imagery, just for all of this to be a coincidence? When, when has anything ever in stranger things been coincidental? Ever?

Edit: I’d just like to denote that, when i said “(mike) can’t even talk about any other part of her that he loves other than her powers” i didn’t mean that mike loves el JUST because she has powers, fuck no, BUT when the time was right for him to note all of the other aspects of her character that make her a remarkable person (ex. her selflessness, her compassion), he decided to focus on her powers. The very thing that she herself thought dictated her.

just wanted to make that super clear.

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

Home (you) | Gi-hun x Wife!Reader |

Summary: He finally returns to you.

Warnings: Post S1 - Non canon events - Non canon background for Gi-hun - Sad!Gi-hun - Paranoid!Gi-hun - Trauma - Soft!Moments  - NON CANON EVENTS FROM S2  - ANGST -

When Gi-hun was left with nothing but his underwear and a credit card full of zeros his mind did nothing but drift off.

He could not forget them. The others, the ones who died in order for him to be here today. Alive, looking at the account, sounds and smells from the city, ignorance from what had happen to him and others.

Gi-hun knew you were there, at the small aparment you two shared. The small yet filled with love place. It was his safe heaven, the home he loved. Where you waited for him, never once judged him and rather tried to help.

You have been nothing but the best wife, woman and friend. More than what he could ask for and more of what he deserves.

In his mind you should have left him, for someone better. But he could be selfish and when it came to you he was.

But now after everything that had happen..did he deserve to go back to you ? To his life ? When he had promise that he would not dissapear again? But he still did ? Knowing he may not be back ?

His mind driffted back and he found himself walking without a destination, not caring for the cold or nasty looks along the way.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Another morning came, the bed felt cold but you have to get used to it. Thats whar you keep telling yourself. However when you see the ring on your finger you cant help but let out some tears before getting up and prepare for the day.

It has been at least three months now since Gi-hun dissapear without a way to find him.

You tought the loan sharks would look for you but that never happened. Part of you did wonder if they had killed him but when being confronted by you they just said a quick excuse and went off.

You hated your life without him. Besides the pity looks you got at your work or the few words of compassion, you missed him. A lot. You were used to his laught, to his touch, the silly jokes he would make...but that was in the past now.

With a bottle of shake you went to your home. Another day, another week, you should think on moving maybe that way it would hurt less. But the memories with him were deep in your mind and you could not shake them off.

You were going to Open the old door when you took notice that it was slighty Open.

A robbery ? The loan sharks decided to come ?

You moved the door slowly, the old thing making a sound that felt louder than it actually was. The aparment was dark, no light or sight of life. It was just and the forniture.

Or at least thats what you thoguth when suddendly you hear a muffled "fuck" and "I never cleaned that"

Even if it was small you knew in an instant from who it was. You went there, not caring if maybe your mind was playing you a cruel trick. You needed to know.

Once outside the bedroom you turned on the lights seeing his form trying (and failing) to repair some broken base he had most likely knock off.

You also took notice on the big spoot on the wall, yeah it was caused by him once and he never took care of it, but it added personality to the room.

He looked at you. Eyes big like a fish, he was a mess. Hair larger and dirty.

"Gi-hun?" You called taking a step towards him while he took one back. He did not want you to see him like this. He came on impulse, a rational part of him said to not come, but his feelings....he missed you. Wanted you again by his side.

"Please tell me this is real" You tried again voice now breaking as you stopped one hand reaching for him.

Gi-hun felt his heart break, he moved slowly taking your hand in his, the same hand that he had used to fight off Sang-woo was now holding yours.

He almost fell as you pulled him into a big hug, crying on his chest, you had to take a moment to listen to his heart beat. You eyes going over his face.

"Oh Gi-hun...what happened to you?" You asked pulling him for a hug again his own hands returning it with more force. He never wanted to let go of you again.

"(Y/N)...Please" His voice broke at the end "Hold me, I will tell you everytning but please"

He fell on his knees you followed still hugging him, his cries were muffled by your shirt as she held you like you were the only thing that could keep him sane.

"Shh I got you Gi-hun, let it out"

He cried for a bit more only moving when he felt you move from discomfort because of how you two were.

"Gi-hun...you should take a bath" You said to him very careful "I can prepare it for you.."

"Will you stay?" He asked his eyes letting out the raw vulnerability he was feeling

"Of course I will, I will stay with you"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Gi-hun havent feel this...relaxed in such a long time. You carefully washed his hair, and relaxed his tensed back. There was nothing sexual out of it. Just you taking care of him.

And it felt like heaven.

"Im going to brush your hair a bit is that alright with you?" You asked from behind him inside the bathtub  worried that it might trigger something from him.

But Gi-hun just nodded letting out a content sound when the brush made contact with his hair. You were very patient with him, slowly untangling his now long hair. He knew he needed to get it cut off. But he had let himself be lost and...and he could not bring to take care of himself.

"We should also cut your beard too..if you want" You softly asked after you ended with his hair doing a small bow that made him look quiet cute.

He touched his beard without realizing how long it had got. But finally gave a nod to you. He saw you move towards the cabin getting the tools and now taking a seat in front of him.

"Im going to do this slow, ok? You tell me if I need to stop" You tone let him knew that he was the one in charge of the situation. You did not know what had happen to him but it must be more than the old threats the loan sharks would use against him.

No, this was something worse. And you wanted him to feel safe with you.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

After it you offered him a fresh change of clothes. He asked you to stay with him and you nodded. He was slimmer than the last time you have seen him. And there were some bruises too. You wanted to ask him, to know what did happen. But you also knew he would come around, that you needed to be patient with him.

After he changed he muttered that he was tired and you were ready to guide him back towards the bedroom you two shared.

To him the bed sheets felt softer than he did remember. Even if the mattress was old it was better than the beds from the games. A shiver ran down his spine and he had to hold his head to prevent memories from coming back.

"Gi-hun..."

"Can you get me some water...? Please" Gi-hun asked his voice almost breaking. He did not want you to see him like this. So broken so....

He had no words to describe the pain he was feeling.

He felt when you left, and he decided to take some deep breaths, letting the familiar smell of the room fill his sense. He was back, he was at home.

"Gi-hun? I got your water?" You said from besides him giving him the glass as he gulped it down.

And you were with him.

He finally looked at you. Seeing how tired you were. It must have been difficult for you. To be alone and worried over him. He wanted to blame himself even more for leaving you like that. He did not deserve you and part of him wanted you to hate him for leaving and then be back without a explaination.

But as he looked all over you his eyes ended in your hand, most precise on the ring. You were still using it, a solid proof you never gave up on him.

"(Y/N).." Gi-hun said your name with so much care as he took your hands on his bring them up to kiss them. "Im sorry, im sorry that I left you. Im sorry for not coming back sooner" He said between broken sobs. "I know I must have caused you so much pain, and im so sorry for it"

"Gi-hun please stop, you know I would have waited for you a lifetime" You responded gently caressing his face "I dont know what happened to you, and you dont have to tell me. I will wait till you are ready. Just know, I love you. And that wont ever change, just...dont leave me again"

"Never, I wont ever leave you again (Y/N)...you are all I have and all I will ever have. You are the most important thing to me, and from now on I will do my best to show you how grateful im for you being by my side. For putting up with me"

You smiled at him giving him a soft kiss then pushing him down so he could get comfortable.

"And you are the best thing that ever happened to me Gi-hun. You dont have to prove me anything" You laid besides him both facing each other. He pulled you against his chest his face on your hair.

"Promise you wont ever let me go? Not tonight or ever ? Even if...things change" Gi-hun knew he was a different Man now, he could not just ignore his trauma. He was positive nightmares would still come to haunt him and that at some point he would tell you the truth.

But not tonight. Tonight all he wanted was for you to hold him and promise him that everything would be fine.

"I wont ever let you go Gi-hun, not tonight or ever. You are with me till death do us apart, remember ? Now get some sleep I will be here once you wake up"

And that was all he needed to hear. For the first time since he won these games...he got a nice sleep. Besides you anything seemed to be possible. Even finding his way back to life.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

If you've seen Werepapas, you must be just as baffled as everyone else during "that" scene, huh?

And if you didn't, trust me, you will.

I haven't been watching season six and, based on what I've heard about it, the only way I would ever watch it is if some form of payment was involved. However, I do know what scene you're talking about because I follow enough blogs to have seen the chaos.

For those who are a little more removed from the fandom, the new episode Werepapas just aired and, in it, Adrien's grandparents are akumatized via his amok rings. This is actually a nice bit of tension because we know that akumas can be overcome by talking it out instead of fighting, but we haven't seen what that looks like with the new butterfly holder. This episode provides a good way to show off what that looks like now, emphasizing how much harder it is to deal with Lila's manipulation and establishing that talking it out will not be as easy as it was in season four and five. It also gives Adrien a moment to shine as he obviously has to be the one to free his own grandparents since Marinette has no connection to them and you can't destroy the rings without killing him, right?

Right?

[Image description: Adrien's amok rings lying broken in Ladybug's hand. An akuma is coming out of them, but there is no feather]

Wrong! Let's just let Ladybug break the rings without consequences while Adrien is trapped in a trophy and left completely out of another fight with his family. That's way better story telling!

I know people are horrified by this and asking why Ladybug apparently didn't even try to find another way to free the akuma, but I'm just laughing because I called that she could probably do this months ago! Crocoduel logic fits the pattern! The rings probably had to be on fingers for the amok to go free or some similar bullshit.

Or maybe this is some new logic? Or maybe Adrien isn't a sentimonster after all! Or maybe Lila stole his rings offscreen/in the still unaired first episode! Who knows? Not me! The complete lack is logic is what makes it fun, though, right? Right?

Btw, since we're talking about Marinette and the rings, does anyone know how Marinette knows that the rings are Adrien's amok? Who told her? It wasn't Gabriel or Félix. Did it happen in the London special? Does she even know or was she only hesitant to break the rings because she knew how much they meant to Adrien? I honestly have no idea. I'm still not sure if she knows that he's a sentimonster since all she was canonically told was that Emilie randomly got pregnant after a long battle with infertility:

Félix: But even the best remedies couldn't seem to overcome their curse. (Marinette squints her eyes, immersing herself more in the story.) Félix: Until one day, the curious princess learned that she was expecting — (Both depict Emilie pregnant and Gabriel, with peacock feathers spreading on the background.) Félix: She was pregnant. (Marinette's eyes widen upon realization.)

And that Amelie also got pregnant soon after using the peacock:

Félix: The curious princess felt badly for her twin sister. So, she asked the tailor if he could do something for the good princess and the lord of war to have a child as well. (The scene switches to Félix, acting as Gabriel, talking to Kagami who is acting as Colt.) Félix: (as Gabriel) After much study, I have discovered a solution for you and your wife. But there will be a price to pay. You will give me your best knight to guard my future son. In exchange, I will lend you this magic amulet. It will allow you to give life to your dream and to control it. Kagami: (as Colt) Sorcery? Never! Félix: (as Gabriel) Well, it's up to you, of course. (Just as "Gabriel" is about to take back his offer, "Colt" chases after his hand and accepts this "sorcery" that "Gabriel" talks about, taking the Peacock Miraculous with him as well.)

Ah Miraculous, you never change. How a show for kids is so confusing is beyond me!

note this is all what I've picked up second hand so feel free to let me know if I got any details wrong

[rookanisstuff]

ok i think you do a mercar rook for lucanis, right? i also fw mercar rook but it seems like an unpopular choice. i would love to hear you explain your passions if you're game

oh my god mercar rook for a lucanis romance is just SOOOOOOO perfect like the level of ANGST is amazing!!!!!!!!!

I cannot understand why it's not a more popular route for the Lucanis romance. It's so angsty, star crossed, a "I burned the world for you" type of loveeeeeee. Rook Mercar turns their back on their city, their people, the Shadow Dragons completely ice them out and practically act like they're a stranger, you're faced with the instant consequences when getting chewed out by Neve and Tarquin in which they STATE you abandoned them and THEN you have to witness almost everyone Rook's ever worked with be mericlessly executed. Rook literally cannot catch a break but then there's Lucanis at their side endlessly thanking them because he's just seen what Treviso could've become if not for Rook listening to HIM against all their own biases.

Add onto all that, that my Rook was a Tevinter Mage? The very thing that had tortured Lucanis and the same thing he had been trained his entire life to kill? Only to have one be to the first person ever to show him unwavering loyalty and kindness?? Ohhhhh the fanfics practically write THEMSELVESSS but yet I struggle to find them!!!! Also to have a Rook abandon their background to live in Treviso with Lucanis post game I feel like this one makes the most sense because the shadow dragons still want nothing to do with Rook. Dorian is Archon and I imagine he's not going to be very forgiving to the person that got his underground movement executed even if they saved minrathous in the final fight. And personally, if everyone I knew in a city hated me, I'd bounce to the city that calls me a Hero with my hot rich boyfriend too Rook LMAO. Anyway, yes I very much love Mercar Rook, I've tried the other backgrounds and just keep finding myself falling back into that Mercar playstate because dramaaaaaa.

[utilitycaster]

After that final scene I was just like oh so C3 was just the Keyleth story then. We were just with the background characters to her story. It is just something to me that BH didn't even get the final scene in their own campaign. Like Godkiller was just B story to Keyleth's A story that we didn't see. Just some parts of the BH story Keyleth sends Orym on a mission, call Keyleth to heal Launda, Keyleth back up at the key to save the day, Keyleth's former lover comes and becomes a ball, gotta heal Keyleth from her poison, Keyleth has a friend at the shattered teeth etc. This is not meant as a Keyleth hate ask or anything I hope it isn't coming off as that.

I disagree, or rather, at times that did happen but I do not think it was the intent going in.

I think that Keyleth getting involved with Laudna's death was really the point where this campaign took a downturn from which it never recovered, and I will admit as someone who enjoyed Orym I remain kind of like "Liam, this was the idea that stuck in your head for 4 years?" but I think a lot of this was like...Bells Hells not really having anything they wanted or cared about enough to pursue so you did have to lean on the past characters, who were intentionally brought in. I think the reason you might feel this way is that like...again, there weren't really consequences or strong connections from Bells Hells, whereas Keyleth as a character from C1 was awash in those consequences and connections. So, for example, the mission to get the flowers actually was in my opinion a good fetch quest...but Otohan mysteriously never used that poison on the PCs despite killing four of them on separate occasions, so it felt like Keyleth was real and they were shadows in their own narrative, moving through it but largely unaffected. The Shattered Teeth was a fun peek at a new part of the world but the only real outcome was them getting the shards; they didn't like, connect with this location or think about it meaningfully, so again, Keyleth feels more real as someone with actual memories and connection to it.

As for Vax coming back: I think it's truly one of the weakest choices made in the history of actual play and I listen and watch a LOT of actual play but (and I could be wrong, and if this was an intended endgame my opinion will dip further) it feels like the option where Bells Hells leaves Predathos sealed or the one where the gods are eaten would not end in this result. I think if the Raven Queen is destroyed Vax simply dies; one could argue he rejoins a cycle of death and rebirth now but without him being consecuted I think that means he has no knowledge of who he was in his next life, as in most real-world reincarnation beliefs; and if the gods never have to flee and Predathos remains sealed then the situation continues as it always has. We happened to get that ending, but, at least I hope, it was not an inevitability.