Therapy Hours - Chapter 1
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Pairing; Bucky Barnes x OC
Story Summary; Niana Cross is just an ordinary girl, but shes got an extraordinary job to do. And she'll be damned if she isn't good at her job.
Word Count; 5014
Chapter 1 - The Path Ahead
‘Steve calls his therapist, Sam's a good friend, and Niana finally meets James Barnes - or what's left of him.’
Niana Cross didn't think she was anything special, not in the grand scheme of things. Sure, she had a pretty special job, but she was still just an average looking girl that loved watching horror movies and eating pizza.
The simplest explanation for why some people thought she was special is; she knew all the Avengers on a first name basis.
She started off as Tony Stark's therapist. She was contacted by the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D, Nick Fury, just after Tony's miraculous return from Afghanistan and asked to evaluate him. Stark saw something in the girl, something that he trusted, so he kept her on as his personal on-call therapist. (He payed her well to make up for the weird hours he kept.) He spoke to her, confided in her more than he did anyone else - including Pepper Potts.
Pepper doesn't hold it against Niana. In fact, she's glad Tony has someone he can talk to. She has even grown close to the girl herself, the two becoming best friends.
When Steve Rogers was defrosted and tossed into the 21st century, both Tony and Fury recommended Niana to him. Steve figured that if even Tony 'I-Don't-Need-Help' Stark said the girl would be good for him, she had to be something special. No one could have guessed just how close the newly acquainted pair would become. Steve was like the brother Niana never had, and she was the little sister he always wanted.
After the events of New York in 2012, she started seeing all the Avengers regularly - except Thor, of course, who had to return to Asgard but promised a conversation upon his return. They were all struggling, some more than others, and Niana was happy to take some of the weight from them. They all grew to love her, in their own weird and wonderful ways. (Don't judge, Natasha shows her love by destroying your enemies and apparently paying off your student loans.)
It was during the events of DC in 2014 that things got the most interesting for Niana. A brief phone call from Steve, babbling almost incomprehensibly about his long-lost best friend, had her stealing borrowing one of Tony's private jets and heading straight to his hospital room.
The Winter Soldier had almost killed Steve twice and then saved him, all in the space of one afternoon. Sam Wilson, a new face that Niana analysed as quickly as her brief glance allowed, had found Steve unconscious on the bank of the Potomac with a very dazed and bruised Bucky Barnes hovering over him. The man was repeating a single phrase over and over.
'Till the end of the line.'
Barnes had handed himself over, surrendering all his weapons and allowing Natasha to cuff him. He required just as much hospital attention as Steve, so the two were separately transported to a safe location instead of a public hospital. (Which Niana later found out was Tony's doing, he knew she would want him to help Steve.)
Niana sat by Steve's bedside, holding his hand gently in her own. He hadn't said a word since she got here. He was deep in thought, staring off into space, so she left him to it. For now, she focused her attention on Wilson.
"How did you meet Steve?" She asked. Sam smirked and looked over at the other man.
"This asshole kept lapping me on my morning run." Sam told her. "Every time he went past, without fail, he’d go-"
"On your left." Steve finished for him; his voice was quiet.
"Stevie." Niana said softly, drawing his attention over to her. Without the girl saying anything else, his eyes filled with tears.
"God, Nia." He choked out. "He was right there, and he had no idea who I was. All that time I spent mourning him, coming to terms with the fact that my best friend was gone, only to find out that Hydra had him the whole fucking t-"
His voice finally gives out, breaking as he begins to sob. Niana stands from her chair, gently wrapping her arms around Steve's shoulders and letting him cry into her shirt.
In all the time she had spoken to Steve, he had never allowed himself to really let his emotions out. He had mentioned his best friend, how living without him by his side was hard, but he had never cried. And now he was letting it all out, and Niana found that she too was teary eyed.
Sam felt like he was intruding on something a little too personal, so he rose from his seat and left to grab the three of them something to drink. He knew Steve was in good hands from the way he spoke about the younger girl.
Niana let Steve hold on to her like a lifeline, even if she thought his hands were a little too tight on her arm; she would have some bruises later, but Steve needed her right now.
“Can you h-help him?” Steve hiccuped, his grip on her momentarily tightening. “Can you t-try to h-help him?”
“Of course, Steve.” Niana told him, softening her voice in an attempt to calm him down. “I’ll sit with him every day if I have to. He’ll get the best care possible.”
Steve lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, like he had expected her to say no, and relaxed further into her arms. It barely took ten minutes of quiet reassurances from Niana for him to drift off, the stress of an insanely long day finally catching up to him.
Sam ambled back in, two cups of tea in hand and a bottle of water tucked under his arm.
“He asleep?” He asked, setting her cup down beside her.
“Yeah.” Niana replies, gently running her fingers through the blonde’s hair.
“Barnes really did a number on him.” Sam commented, pointing to Steve’s medical file which had been left on his bedside table. Niana makes a point of turning away from it; she didn’t want to see how close to death her brother had been. And that file was far too thick for comfort.
“Barnes was brainwashed, he was just doing what he was told.” Niana said, her voice taking a slightly defensive tone at Sam’s jibe. She hadn’t met the man yet, but she had already decided to take him on as a patient - not just for Steve’s benefit, but to try and help a man who had nothing. And she was very protective of those she tried to help.
“Cause you’re an expert on Hydra’s inner workings, are you?” Sam scoffed, raising his eyebrows at her. She knew he was baiting her into a reaction, wanting to see what kind of person she was, but she willingly gave it.
She raised her eyebrows right back and pointed over to her bag. It was overflowing with paperwork, scribbled notes, and had her laptop sticking out of it.
“As of the flight over here, yes.” She snapped back, pausing and lowering her voice when Steve stirred in her arms. “I went through as much of Hydra’s files on Barnes as I could decrypt without alerting any government agencies that might be watching.”
She paused for a second, a look of sympathy washing over her. “What they did to him, god Sam, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”
“He’s still hurt people.” Sam told her.
“Yes, and the Hydra agents that ordered those hits will pay for it - probably with their lives.” Niana said sharply, meeting his stare dead on. “Barnes was just a weapon; you can’t persecute him for the fact that they used his body to do their bidding. You don’t blame the gun, Sam, you blame the one that fired it.”
“He fired it.” Sam snipped back. “Someone has to pay, you know that.”
“Not him.” Niana says, her voice quieting again. “He’s suffered for almost seventy years, don't you think that’s enough? Now shut up before you wake Steve.”
Sam said nothing for a few minutes, allowing the tension in the room to ease off slightly. Then he sighed. He saw her point, and he had to admit that his own opinion was clouded. He had seen the Winter Soldier in action, saw his body cause harm to innocent civilians. But she was right, he wasn’t in control. It wouldn’t be fair to blame this on him.
“Fine. But I’m still mad about my car.” He joked, shaking his head at the thought of his wrecked vehicle.
Niana had to stifle her laugh, not wanting to wake Steve. Nat had told her about Sam’s steering wheel being ripped right out of his hands while she was on her way in, it was extremely funny if you ignore the circumstances. Sam smiled lightly, counting her laugh as a win.
Ten minutes passed in an almost comfortable silence before Niana looked back over at Sam. He could tell she was nervous about whatever she had to say, her cup of tea was long gone but she was still fiddling with her cup, so he tried to look as comforting as possible.
“In Hydra’s files, there was a mission report.” She starts, her voice wavering. “It was buried under some pretty trivial junk, so I don’t think anyone thought it necessary to go through it.”
She paused, swallowing back the lump in her throat. Sam nodded for her to go on.
“December 16th, 1991.” She whispers. “The car crash that killed Tony’s parents.”
Sam, despite not knowing Tony personally - or at all, apart from what he’d seen on the news - felt his heart break for the man. Hydra was the reason his parents were dead, Barnes was the one to kill them; under orders or not, it was his hands. That would be a difficult thing for anyone to accept.
“I have to tell him. Right?” Niana asks him, her eyes dampening at the thought. “It has to be me, before he finds the file himself.”
“Can you do it?” Sam asks her back. She looks slightly confused, so he elaborates. “I mean, can you be the one to give him that information without losing his trust - or just losing him? Is he the type to shoot the messenger?”
“Me and Tony, our relationship is complicated.” Niana tells him, her voice wavering. “He won’t hold it against me personally, but I’ve worked really hard for quite some time to get him to a place where he’s even remotely ready to come to terms with their deaths. And to now find out that it wasn’t an accident? That it was actually murder? This could destroy so much of the progress that he’s made.”
Sam thinks that over for a while, understanding that the situation is more complex than she’s letting on. It would be rude for her to discuss Tony’s private affairs, of course he understood that.
“Is there an alternative?” Sam asks. “Can this be buried; does he even have to find out at all?”
Niana shakes her head. “If I don’t tell him and he finds out some other way, which he will cause he’s too nosy for his own good, he’ll lose any and all trust he has for me. We don’t keep secrets from each other, that’s rule one.”
“You have rules?” Sam frowns, but his tone of voice is amused.
“I’m Iron Man’s therapist, of course we have rules.” She grins wryly, pausing to assess Sam. “We’re very similar, Sam. You and me. I can see why Steve was drawn to you. I guarantee we get into a fight within the first month, but I think we could be great friends.”
“A month?” Sam asks, tilting his head. “I give it two weeks.” He reaches across Steve’s bed, Niana meeting him halfway to shake his hand.
“We’ll see.” She concedes, laughing.
“Stop laughing before you wake up sleeping beauty.” Sam jokes, pointing to the man still asleep on her chest.
Niana calms, returning to gently playing with Steve’s hair.
“It’ll be hard, telling Tony.” She says after some contemplation. “But it has to be me, and it has to be soon.”
Sam nods. He understands that the less time spent holding this sensitive information from Tony, the better.
“When?” He asks.
“Once Steve is out of here, and once I’ve finally had a conversation with Barnes.” Niana tells him. “I’ll have to go to Tony with more than just ‘he was brainwashed’ for him to consider continuing to help them. A full evaluation on his physical and mental health seems necessary, given the circumstances.”
“Them?” Sam questions. “What do you mean ‘continue helping them’?”
“Steve will defend Barnes no matter what.” She explains. “If Barnes goes, Steve goes.”
“This puts you in a bit of an awkward position.” Sam sighs, suddenly feeling rather sorry for the young woman.
“They’re not just my patients, either of them.” Niana smiles. “Tony’s one of my closest friends, and Steve is my big brother. If I go about this in the right way, I might just be able to save their friendship.”
“That’s a lot of weight to carry alone.” Sam says, the ‘therapist’ in him coming out a little.
“It is how it is.” She says with a noncommittal shrug.
Sam has a moment of admiration for her strength, and suddenly he sees why Steve and Natasha were so adamant on her flying out. She was a ray of sunshine, and Steve could definitely use some sunshine in his life. Sam was glad that Steve had her.
“If you need a hand carrying it, though, let me know.” Sam says quietly, sending a small smile her way.
“Thanks, Sam.” Niana smiles back.
“Of course, Niana.” He says. She waves her free hand at him.
“Most of my friends call me Ana.” She tells him. Sam nods, a wry grin overtaking his face.
“I’ll let you know when you make my friends list, Niana.” He laughs.
Niana gasps in mock outrage, her jaw comically dropping.
“Oh, that’s how it is?”
“Oh, that’s how it is.”
The path ahead was only going to get more complicated, but Niana could handle it. Or at least, she hoped she could. Steve deserved the chance to have his best friend back, and Niana would be damned if that chance was taken from him.
***
Four hours later, Steve had finally woken up and was chatting quietly with Sam while Niana poured back over her notes. Most of Steve’s superficial wounds had scabbed over or healed completely, and he could almost feel his ribs knitting back together.
Niana decided to leave him in Sam’s capable hands and finally meet her newest patient. Steve had originally wanted to go with her, going so far as to raise his voice when she denied him, but she wouldn’t back down.
“Steve,” She said quietly, raising an eyebrow. “If you can get out that bed without flinching or falling over, you can come with me.”
He didn’t even bother attempting, just lay back down on his bed with a pout. Sam tried to smother his laughter, but the childish look on Steve’s face had him loudly doubling over.
Niana sent them both smiles before following the Doctor out of the room.
She was nervous, there was no denying that. In the past two years she had heard a lot about James Barnes, stories from Steve, and even a few from Tony (those that he remembered from Howard anyway). But the things she had read, what she knew they had done to him? She wasn’t sure whether to expect the Bucky from Steve’s memories, or the one who almost killed him.
For now he was being kept in a modified cell. He had been given a cot, nailed down to the floor, as well as a table with two chairs - which Niana thought looked suspiciously like an interrogation table. She ignored how much that bothered her for now, waving the guards back as she went to enter the room.
“Ma’am, we can’t let you go in alone.” One of the men said, reaching to grab her arm.
Niana smacked his hand away, levelling him with a sharp glare.
“You can and you will.” She tells him. “All your presence will do is scare him. If I need help, I’m sure you’ll hear me scream.”
The sarcastic comment was probably uncalled for, but Niana was slightly proud of the way the guard stuttered as she opened the door and walked in.
Bucky lifted his head as she entered. He was crouched in the empty corner of the room, muttering to himself. He was in loose sweatpants and a sleeveless white cotton t-shirt.
Niana took a seat on one side of the table, crossing her arms where he could see them.
“Hello.” She said, her voice so low that even she almost couldn’t hear it. “My name is Niana Cross, you can call me Ana.”
Bucky made no move to acknowledge her, apart from momentarily glancing her way.
“I wanted to see how you were doing. Can you sit with me?” Niana pointed to the chair.
He looked at the chair as if it had done him personal offence, but got up and took a seat across from her at the table.
Up close, Niana could see just how badly injured he was. His face had some major bruising all over, his eyebrow and lip were both split, he had a black eye, and some bruising across his neck. She could also see the scarring where the metal of his arm met the flesh. It was horribly red and puckered.
“Steve’s okay, I left him recovering in his own room.” Niana told him, her voice still soft. “He wants you to know that he’s okay.”
“Please d-don’t.” He stuttered out; his voice was rough and strangled.
“Don’t what?” Niana asked, searching his face.
“The name.” He choked out.
"Steve?” Niana confirmed. He flinched so hard that she wondered if he was actually in pain. She quickly backtracked, raising her hands in mock surrender.
"Okay, we wont call him that." She said quietly. "Do you want to call him another name, something that isn’t difficult for you to hear or say?"
He looked to be thinking over her words, but made no move to answer. Niana gave him some time, watching as he opened and closed his mouth multiple times before giving up.
"Grant, his middle name is Grant." Niana told him. "How about we call him that for now, yeah?"
He said the name a few times quietly to himself, then looked up at her and nodded. Niana gave him a soft smile, and continued.
"Grant asked me to check up on you, and to see if I could help you." She told him, assessing his reactions. He grimaced at the mention of Steve, even under his pseudonym, but seemed confused at the second half of her statement.
"How?" He asked.
"I'm a therapist. His, actually, along with other members of the Avengers. St-Grant wanted me to help you, in any way I could." Niana watched as he tensed up at the mention of the Avengers, but seemed to focused on her to have much of a reaction.
"Said something." Bucky frowned, dropping his head so he was staring at the table in front of him.
Niana had dealt with enough PTSD and trauma to know that she needed to tread carefully; pushing too hard could topple him over the edge of his delicate sanity.
"Grant did? What did he say?" Niana asked him.
Both his fists clenched on the table, the metal arm clicking and locking as the joints moved.
"T-to the end of the line." He stuttered out, swiping his eyes as they teared up slightly. "I don't- meaning."
"Grant told me that was something you used to say to each other growing up." Niana explained. "It was your way of saying you would always be there for one another."
Bucky nodded.
"Saw something, maybe?"
Niana tried not to frown at his use of 'maybe'.
"You saw something? Was it a memory?" She asks.
He lets out a sharp breath, and shakes his head.
"I can't- I can't tell." His voice is the most quiet she's heard it. "Real?"
Yeah, that's what she was afraid of.
Niana had an idea, but it wasn't exactly one of her best or safest plans. She rolled up the sleeve of her cardigan and leaned her left hand across the table towards him.
"Take my hand." She says.
He looks at her, confused.
"What?"
"Take my hand." She repeats, nodding down at her exposed wrist.
"No! Dangerous." He says, pointing to himself while looking at her like she's crazy.
"Trust me." She whispers, locking eyes with him.
He reaches out with his flesh hand, hesitating above hers. Niana nods, gently moving his hand so it's wrapped around her wrist and his fingers and pressed in. Niana feels her heart start to race. This was not exactly her smartest plan, let the brainwashed assassin get hold of you, but he needed comfort.
"You feel that? My pulse racing, blood pumping through my veins. This is real." She says softly. "I'm going to help you, as much as I can. Will you trust me to help you?"
He doesn't let go, quietly contemplating her words. Finally, he pulls his hand back and nods his head.
Niana smiles at him.
"Well, you know who I am. What can I call you? Do you know your name?"
Immediately, he grimaces and shakes his head, dropping his line of sight so he was looking at the table.
"Difficult, hurts."
Niana nods her head in understanding.
"That's okay, I’ll call you whatever you're comfortable with."
"I can choose." He says, both a question and a statement.
Niana has the harsh realisation that this may be the first choice he's made for himself in seventy years. She struggles to stop herself tearing up.
"Of course you can, choose whatever you want." She says, her voice noticeably more thick.
He takes a minute, frowning in thought, then looks back up at her.
"Barnes. J-James Buchanan Barnes is me? Grant said."
Niana confirms with a nod.
"Yeah, that’s you. If you want me to call you Barnes, I will."
A quick glance at her watch tells her that she needs to head back to Steve now.
"It was nice to meet you Barnes. If you need to speak with me again before I come back, tell the guard to call me. I'll be here whenever you need me."
He nods at her, rising from the seat and retreating to the corner of the room he was in before. Niana smiled gently at him, before knocking to be let out. She closes the door behind her, and turns to face the guard - the same one who tried to stop her from entering in the first place. She definitely wasn't his biggest fan.
"I'm clearing Barnes for release into my custody." She tells him, moving to sign the forms on the table.
The guard, who's name she hadn't bothered to learn, stepped up beside her and shook his head.
"I'm not sure that's safe, miss." He says back.
"It's what he needs." She explains to him, handing over her filled out report. "He's not violent and even if he becomes so, i will have people around who can handle that."
"What he needs is to be in a secured space with 24 hour armed guards." The guard says, speaking slowly like she was a stupid child. "Or have you not seen the damage and destruction he's caused?"
"He will be secure, but he will be in an environment that will allow him to heal and to come to terms with his new reality." Niana says, her voice bordering on yelling. "He doesn't need guarded, especially by armed soldiers. This man is the longest serving POW in history, I wont let you lock him up like his abusers did."
"He needs to be in the hands of people capable of containing him if he snaps." The guard said, gritting his teeth at her.
"Oh, so the Avengers aren't capable?" Niana sassed, resting a hand on her hip. "They can fight off an entire alien army, but one man with a metal arm and suddenly they're useless?"
"That's not what i-" He tried to backtrack. Niana held up her free hand to stop him.
"I don't care what you meant." She tells him firmly. "This is not your decision, it's mine. He's leaving here with me."
The guard straightens up, towering over her small frame.
"You're not-"
"I'm sorry, are you about to tell me what I'm capable of doing?" Niana cuts him off. Suddenly, every mannerism she's picked up from years of spending time with Tony is bubbling to the surface.
"No, of course not." He says, trying to placate her.
"Good." Niana said, pulling out her phone and sending a quick text to Tony. She knew he would support her with whatever she needed. "Tony Stark will be sending someone to transport Bucky and Steve to the med bay in Avengers Tower, that's my final word on the matter."
The man shifted, sending Niana a look that said he didn't agree. Niana raised her eyebrows.
"Is that understood, sir?"
"Yes, ma'am." He snapped back, though he didn't sound completely sincere.
All her time spent with Tony had given her one advantage over this arrogant idiot; she knew how to intimidate people bigger than her. Being as short as she is, and being much more naive than the billionaire genius, Tony had taken it upon himself to teach her how to hold her own when he wasn't around to flaunt his name.
Niana took a step closer to the guard, forcing him to meet her eyes. She kept eye contact and waited until he nervously swallowed to begin speaking.
"If you try to find a way around this, a way around me? Well, then you will find out firsthand exactly what I'm capable of." Niana snarled at him.
She continued to glare at him until he nodded, then she turned on her heels and walked away without looking back.
From inside his room, for the first time in seventy years, Bucky Barnes smiled.
***
Niana returned to Steve's room feeling much more content in her decision to help Bucky. She felt like she had managed to catch a glimpse of who he used to be underneath the persona that had been forced upon him. She wanted to help him, she really did.
Sam gave her a smile as she sat down, linking her hand with Steve's.
"How did it go?" He asked.
"Surprisingly well." She breathes out, giving them both a tight lipped smile.
"Tell me how he is, please." Steve asks, looking over at her.
Niana hesitates for a second, but decides that it would be best to let him know what he's in for.
"He's not violent if that's what you're really asking. He's mostly just confused. I think hes been having hallucinations mixed in with memories, he said he can't always tell what's real."
"That doesn't sound 'surprisingly well' to me." Sam said, his eyebrows raised.
"After being tortured for seventy years? To be blunt, I think it's a miracle he's even functioning." Niana told him.
"But that's not all, is it?" Steve asks, frowning at her. Damn his ability to read her like a book.
"No." She agrees with a sigh. "I want Banner and Cho to give him a full work over, brain and body scans. The scarring on that arm looks horrific, I don't want any underlying damage to set back his recovery."
"Why brain scans?" Sam asked. Niana gave him a look, wondering if he missed the memory loss and torture part. He rolled his eyes and kept going. "I mean, I know hes an amnesiac but is there more than that?"
This was far more than Niana originally intended to tell them, but she knew they could be trusted.
"He had some bruising on the side of his face. It looked older than the fight and I was wondering if they used some form of electro-stimulation to wipe his memory." Niana explains. "That could leave lasting effects, and I need to know what to expect. His speech is pretty broken, he has trouble forming full sentences. That’s pretty common in brain injuries."
"But he's okay." Steve says. Niana doesn't have the heart to tell him no, he isn't, so she tries to avoid answering.
"He has trouble saying your name, it's possible they used you to torture him." Niana's heart breaks at the expression on Steve's face. "And I don't want to lie to you, Stevie, it might be a while before you can see him in person again. But I'm going to make sure he gets the best treatment possible."
"Thank you, Nia." Steve says, smiling at her despite the tears in his eyes.
"Tony's going to send transport for you and Barnes, to get take you both to Avengers tower in New York." Niana says, looking over the reply from Tony with all the details of their transfer.
"Really? Why?" Steve asks, looking confused and slightly bewildered.
"Because I asked him to, and because I think it's the safest place for you two right now." Niana explains. "I'm sorry, Sam, I didn't factor you in to that plan. I just wanted to get them out of here."
"Don't worry about me." Sam tells them both. "I can't drop my work and disappear yet. I'll have to set a few things up before I can come out to NY."
Niana nods in understanding, then looks back over to Steve.
"I hope he's okay." Steve said, more to himself than to his friends.
Standing up to wrap an arm around his shoulders, Niana pulls him in for a hug.
"He's not." She told him softly. "But he will be."
Or at least, she hoped he would be.
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