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i-am-skinny-sir · 2 months ago

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If we’re in the business of giving out awards for deserving, boundary-pushing work, then Chalamet’s best actor campaign – unofficial and often unspoken efforts to sway awards voters and build public sentiment – deserves its own Oscar. For the past several months, ostensibly in support of A Complete Unknown but seemingly just as much for laughs, Chalamet has embarked on a rare press run of consistent wins that generated viral moments and appealed to the reference-averse, absurdist sensibilities of his generation, bucking the usually staid methods of Hollywood promotion. Whereas past best actor hopefuls have erred on the side of grateful, serious and dutiful to the self-importance of the boomer-skewing Academy, Chalamet has worn kitschy outfits to red carpet events, treated social media like an ironic art experiment and made the rounds with influencers. In other words, though Chalamet is technically a millennial (born in 1995), we are witnessing the first genZ Oscar campaign.

And what a delight it’s been. There is plenty to be cynical about when it comes to awards season – the repetition, the speeches written by consultants, the cloying campaign-ness of it all – but Chalamet out-predicting professional sports analysts on College Gameday (?!) is not one of them. The first sign that Chalamet would be up to something different – that he would be in on the joke – was back in October, two months before the domestic release of A Complete Unknown, when he crashed a crowdsourced lookalike contest in New York’s Washington Square Park, temporarily causing gleeful pandemonium (until the cops showed up). He followed with a series of wacky, weird, surprising public appearances that have deftly threaded a needle of sincere and unserious, from dressing up as Bob Dylan circa 2003’s Sundance, blond bangs and all, to remixing Dylan deep cuts on Saturday Night Live as one of the few musical guests who isn’t a recording artist.

A non-exhaustive list of highlights: riding a Lime bike on to a red carpet (and later telling a French interviewer that he was fined £65 for illegal parking); giving podcast bro Theo Von a lesson on publicly subsidized housing (Chalamet grew up in Mitchell-Lama arts housing in Manhattan); fanboying over Kendrick Lamar in a ride-along “interview” for the Super Bowl; hosting a bizarre Instagram live from an empty warehouse in which he smashed a guitar, writhed with confetti to the 2009 Black Eyed Peas track I Gotta Feeling, and appeared in front of a screen with intentionally misspelled messages like “congratulations timmothee”.

For every conventional, in-the-feels interview stop – a classic Serious Artist Rolling Stone cover, a 60 Minutes interview with Anderson Cooper on honing his ambition, an Apple Music interview with Zane Lowe on inhabiting Dylan’s music – there have been multiple ridiculous, internet-aiming victory laps. See: talking Brat with oddball Canadian music journalist Nardwuar, and an absurd and delightful interview with YouTuber Brittany Broski in which he described his lean aesthetic as “empowering the anemic”. And that’s not even getting into a series of lo-fi Instagram videos in which Chalamet sings along to various songs – the Dylan track Visions of Johanna, a number from the Call Me By Your Name soundtrack – at various outdoor locations in a style I can best describe as “aspirational performing arts school project”.

All of this evinces a fact that many forget: being an actor and being a movie star are not the same thing. Timothée Chalamet is a phenomenally talented actor who, by his own admission, strives to be considered one of the greats. He said the quiet part out loud (unusual) in his Sag acceptance speech a week before the Oscars – his first major award after nearly two dozen nominations by the age of 30: “I’m really in pursuit of greatness,” he said, wearing a lime green shirt, leather suit and bolo tie in tribute to another archival Dylan look. “I know people don’t usually talk like that but I want to be one of the greats.”

But awards campaigns are never just about talent, and Chalamet is, crucially, great at being a celebrity. This entire press run has evinced his concurrent talent for holding attention in the ways he wants to, for not taking oneself too seriously while also maintaining deep reverence for the craft, for balancing the esoteric and the very dumb, with some clear YouTube research. And mostly, to laugh at oneself in a way that also benefits one’s appeal, a through-line from the lookalike contest to showing Cooper a video of his high school rap alter ego, Timmy Tim. Chalamet is the rare extremely famous person who seems to actually enjoy being famous – or, at the very least, is having some harmless fun with it. So here’s to Chalamet’s Oscar campaign, a breath of fresh air in a practice that tends to range from just moderately enjoyable to outright annoying. Especially this year, the Oscars season, and pop culture at large, needed it.

#timothée chalamet #a complete unknown #oscars

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open-hearth-rpg · 3 months ago

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I first heard Eric Farmer and Eli Kurtz on their great Jianghu Hustle podcast, analyzing drama and combat in a variety of martial arts films. For Hearts of Wulin I asked them to write the chapter on describing fights and combats. Now they have built on what their experience with martial arts films and stage combat to create a new game, Sword Opera. It is now on Kickstarter.

Here's the pitch:

Sword Opera is a new tabletop RPG of melodrama and violence for 2-6 players over 2-6 hours. You play as high-powered paragons balancing their own ambitions and their loyalty to a Circle of allies who seek to dominate a wondrous underworld that you build as you play. Paragons make big, bold decisions and deal with whatever triumphs, setbacks, and crises follow in their wake.

Gameplay is inspired by Blades in the Dark, with d6 dice pools and a heavy focus on the relationships between individual characters and the factions they belong to. A paragon's pursuit of their goals and principles both drives the narrative forward and fuels their character advancement. We play to find out if our Circle can thrive in a world full of danger: rival Circles, determined nemeses, forbidden romances, fatal flaws, imminent peril, and the tension between desire and duty.

It's The Three Musketeers meets Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It's John Wick meets Fast and Furious. It's swords... meet opera!

You can find the campaign here.

#ttrpg #rpg #kickstarter

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book-of-forbidden-knowledge · 3 months ago

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Occult Book Reviews: The Black Arts

[I'm sharing some of my old reviews from Quora because I will refer back to them in the new ones. This one is from Dec 2020]

The Black Arts: An Absorbing Account of Witchcraft, Demonology, Astrology, and Other Mystical Practices Throughout the Ages by Richard Cavendish is a book about the history of occultism and the way it has been historically practiced. I already had a copy of this book in my possession when I heard a host on one of my favorite occult podcasts say that this was the book that got them into the occult in the first place. That kicked it up my priority list! What I didn’t realize is that this book is not new; it was published in 1967. I had the 50th anniversary edition. So, I went in wondering just how out-of-date it was going to be, or whether it holds up.

I wasn’t really sure what to expect from it, but I could see that it was spoooooky — spooky title, spooky cover, first thing in it is a picture of Levi’s Baphomet… Honestly, I like that. A spooky vibe certainly makes it intriguing, and helps it appeal to those who view the occult as an exciting taboo. And indeed, it takes a mainly “lefty” approach to magic, with its first sentence being “The driving force behind black magic is hunger for power,” and the last sentence of that paragraph being “Carried to its furthest extreme, the black magician’s ambition is to wield extreme power over the entire universe, to make himself a god.” Well, duh, if it’s got a title as edgy as The Black Arts, it’s bound to be a left-hand-path kind of book! And it is. Mostly. Cavendish points out that very few occultists self-identify as black magicians, preferring to distance themselves from any accusations of “black magic.”

However, this book is not actually edgy in any way, which is nice. A lot of books of self-proclaimed “black magic” (which may or may not have existed in the 60s, but certainly exist now) come across as “edgy.” They’re specifically geared towards people who like the idea of “black magic” for the sake of shock value or just because it feels taboo and therefore cool. Necromancy! Demonolatry! Satanism! Muahahaha! This book contains information on all those subjects, alongside Kabbalah, alchemy, astrology, and things of that nature. Although the book’s title is almost certainly designed to be provocative (excellent marketing strategy), the book itself is not. It may state that certain practices or correspondences (such as left or the number 2) were considered evil, but passes no judgement. This book is a history of the Black Arts, and that includes using poppets and the like to kill people and old-school PGM-type curses, which this author terms “witchcraft.” I don’t find this offensive, because this book is not attempting to instruct the reader in magic or morality. It’s describing the way magic was used and understood historically, without condoning or condemning unethical practices (like animal sacrifices, psychic attacks, targeted love spells). It has a neutral tone throughout. Cavendish is a historian, not an occultist.

A disclaimer: This book uses the word “witchcraft” in the historical sense, referring to devil worship (for example, citing Vance Randolph and the Ozark witches), or malevolent forms of folk magic. It’s a bit uncomfortable to read, especially since the book was written post-Wicca, but it’s important to emphasize that Cavendish is not using the word “witchcraft” to refer to its modern practice. I think his choice of terminology here just shows the book’s age. (He also uses the word “primitive” to mean “indigenous,” which would be offensive today, and uses “bisexual” to mean “hermaphroditic,” which is hilarious. Also, a lot of the science and psychology he cites is outdated.) So, don’t let that ruffle your feathers.

Despite not being a practical manual, it is written with occultists in mind. I can see why occultists like this book. The first few pages manage to clearly and concisely lay out many important occult principles — that mankind is like God but on a much smaller scale, that the universe at large reflects the workings of the human mind and body, that spellwork is based upon using one’s imagination to mentally conjure emotions and sensations that are then concentrated and directed towards the intended result, that humans can become like gods through reconciliation of opposites, “like attracts like,” etc. I’m very impressed by that. Its first chapter also includes a brief history of nineteenth century occultists like Levi, Mathers, and Crowley, and all of the petty metaphysical shit-slinging they engaged in, which was informative to say the least.

According to this book, occultists believe that everything in the universe is made up of rational patterns, that the universe is fundamentally orderly: “The theory that all the phenomena of the universe are connected together in a great design or pattern is one of the fundamental assumptions of magic” (62). This idea is what gives divination systems like numerology and astrology their credence, what justifies “as above, so below,” and what defines correspondences. I looked at that sentence and thought, huh, I’m not sure I believe that. I don’t believe that there is no chance and no chaos in the universe. There are patterns in the universe — it obviously has its own logic in the form of mathematics — but it’s us who assign any real significance to that. We find the patterns, and they become significant because we noticed them. And then I realized, that is the “chaos” part of Chaos Magic.

I always knew that “Chaos” referred to something more like chaos theory than literal discord, but I didn’t understand what that meant until now. Chaos Magic takes a more existentialist view of the universe, believing it to be fundamentally chaotic and with no inherent meaning, but also believing that the meanings we assign to it are still significant to us. As magicians, we can use our sheer willpower to tame the chaos of the universe. Hence sigils that you scribble on slips of paper that work on the unconscious level. Hence, “you do the magic, not the correspondences.” A random pattern of tarot cards or rune stones is significant because of the way they resonate for you, not because they are placed by divine hands. “As above, so below” becomes more metaphorical, referring to the mundane and spiritual worlds instead of earthly life and the literal heavens. I don’t think that this is incompatible with the Principle of Mentalism, either. The universe can be an emanation of the mind of God without necessarily being “intelligent design.” I don’t necessarily believe that the universe is devoid of meaning, but I do think that it is what we make of it.

Following the introductory chapter, each chapter focuses on a different occult field.

The second chapter focuses on numerology. To be honest, I don’t really get numerology. The number that corresponds to my name changes depending on how much of my name I’m using, and whether it uses the Latin or Hebrew system. I also didn’t think the interpretations provided by this book suited me. Cavendish himself admits that numerology is a bit vague and wooly, although “the same is true of astrology and other forms of fortune telling.” Astrology won me over, because all of the elements of my chart taken together result in an interpretation that is cohesive, accurate, and specific. Cartomancy also won me over because to me it works the same way as literary or art analysis — interpreting symbols, tropes, motifs, etc. in context with each other to find trends and make a point. That kind of stuff makes sense to me. Numbers do not. I really don’t like numbers. I’m sure that numerology can be as complicated and specific as astrology if one studies it properly, but I know it’s not my preferred divination system. However, from reading this, I can definitely see how someone who thinks in terms of numbers would appreciate it, since numerical patterns do appear all over the place and define the universe.

The next chapter is on the Kabbalah. It doesn’t provide any details about how to practice Kabbalah, but it provides an overview of what the Kabbalah is, where it comes from, and what each of the sephiroth represents. There’s also a section on each of the “paths” and how they relate to tarot cards, which I really appreciated, since I didn’t understand that. I still don’t think Kabbalah will ever be my preferred method of ascension, but I want to learn more about it. I’m surprised that this book doesn’t mention the Shekinah, so I still want to know more about what she is. Also included in this chapter was a section on gematria, which made my brain hurt, but it did (directly) explain the reasoning behind some of the conjecture in The White Goddess.

The chapter ends with a section on incantations and names of power — how they’re made, the theory behind them, etc. This was interesting, because I’m familiar with many of the long and unpronounceable incantations of old-school grimoires, but I almost always choose not to use them because I view them as overcomplicated and pointless. I appreciated learning where some of them come from and what the reasoning behind using them is. Some of them are based on Hebrew letters or Bible verses, but many are just meaningless gibberish (voces magicae). The point of many of them is literally just to sound impressive, without necessarily meaning anything. Although that might be pretentious, it also works — it helps to put the magician in the right mindset. It acts like a kind of pre-written glossolalia, ecstatically speaking or singing incomprehensible names that sound divine or supernatural and therefore powerful. The power actually comes from the rhythmic chanting, the magician’s conviction that the spell will work, and the force of the magician’s ecstasy. I hate memorizing long incantations and I also don’t like making noise, but I get it. Words do indeed have inherent power. God spoke the world into existence, and I write worlds of my own into existence. I also definitely agree that poetry makes for great incantations.

A tangent — I was talking to my mother about this, and she intuited that the reason the Tetragrammaton is unpronounceable is because it requires harmonics. One person cannot pronounce it correctly. For example, one person chanting “om” is very different from a whole room of people chanting “om,” to the point where they all start harmonizing with each other into a chord — that is the music of the spheres. The Tetragrammaton must be chanted, but it would be nigh-impossible to get all the people on earth to chant it with the same intention and hit upon the right harmony. Still, it’s probably no accident that “om,” “awen,” and “Yahweh,” all sound very similar when chanted. It’s also no accident that the word “incantation” comes from a word meaning “to chant or sing,” as does “enchantment” and “goetia” and a bunch of other words related to magic.

The section on alchemy explains what alchemy was, what the theory behind it was, and how the spiritual and the chemical aspects of alchemy relate to each other. I really appreciated the outline of the alchemical process as it relates to spiritual development, and the more explicit comparison between the spiritual process of alchemy and the chemical side. It wasn’t exactly detailed or comprehensive, certainly not designed to be a practical guide, but the summary was helpful. I admit, I had a hard time understanding the practical side of alchemy; beyond giving birth to modern chemistry, which is obviously an invaluable thing, what is practical alchemy supposed to do? Turning lead into gold is not something that’s literally possible, so what’s the point of practical alchemy? I tried asking Thoth himself that, and he said, “It is a physical representation of the spiritual side, like using altar tools or symbols, like casting a spell, like worshipping gods through statues. You could replicated it with dyed water, if you wanted the fun.” That’s my UPG, so, take it with a grain of salt.

This book further validated that the raw material of alchemy is you. The salt is your body, the mercury is the divine spark within you. The book also validated something I’ve noticed, that every profound occult secret ends up being painfully obvious: “And when at last the final illumination came and the secret dawned in all its splendour on his mind, he would find that the work was not difficult at all and would scarcely be able to understand how he had been so blind before.” Yep, that’s how it works. I still don’t feel like I’m capable of transmutation, but I know that to the gods it comes so easily, they don’t have to spend any energy on it. If I want them to tell me how to do it, I have to ask more specific questions or else they’ll just assume it’s obvious, like an intermediate ballet student asking how to do first position.

The section on astrology was mostly stuff I knew. It covers the basics of natal astrology, mundane astrology, and practical day-to-day astrology, as well as addressing some of the controversies that have surrounded astrology. I did learn a few interesting tidbits. For example, a conjunction between Mars and Saturn is a very bad omen that indicates plague, and there was one on March 31st 2020. Of course there was. Also, the precise date for when the Age of Aquarius is supposed to begin varies dramatically, but this book puts it around the year 2000. If it began in 2000, then with the Jupiter/Saturn conjunction in Aquarius on the Winter Solstice, we must have entered phase 2. Also, according to some astrologers, the Star of Bethlehem might have been a Jupiter/Saturn conjunction. (I saw it through a thin haze, and it looked like Venus.) The section ends with a description of the way planetary influences are traditionally used in magic, i.e. planetary talismans and planetary days/hours and the like.

The next chapter is on ceremonial magic. This is the grimoires and all the old-school stuff that’s designed to summon spirits. So, that means needing “virgin” material, long and complicated purification procedures, burning animal brains apparently… Maybe it shows a lack of dedication on my part that I don’t fast for days or make brand new materials by hand or gather all the planetary ingredients or memorize those long incantations or even so much as draw a physical circle on the floor. But hey, my Goetic evocations went pretty well so whatever I’m doing must work. Honestly, if I hadn’t already succeeded at that, I may have been scared out of it by some of the horror stories in this book. Then again, does anyone really follow the grimoires’ instructions to the letter? Is it even possible to do that? These procedures are probably meant to be impractical. I’m not sure if anyone has actually burned a cat’s brain as incense just because it corresponds to Saturn. Or drawn the circle on strips of animal skin nailed down by nails from a child’s or murderer’s coffin. The whole second section of this chapter is about animal sacrifices in the grimoires, the frenzy of the sacrifice contributing to the energetic load that causes the spirit to manifest. As a general rule, don’t harm animals for magic! Even if an old Renaissance-era book or Eliphas Levi says so! Cavendish seems to agree with me that all the details aren’t really necessary, saying that “success seemed to be obtained more in spite of the ceremony than because of it.”

This chapter provides a summary of a summoning ritual with full incantations from the Lemegeton. My own Goetic work wasn’t exactly a summoning ritual as described in the Lemegeton. I didn’t work myself into a frenzy, I just sat there with a book. It probably was pretty uninteresting to look at. I didn’t see any spirits or any other manifestations, apart from a few images inside my mind. Maybe I did it wrong, but even if I did, I got exactly what I wanted out of it. I heard the spirits’ ��voices” inside my mind and interviewed each one of them. That’s what I came for, so I say I was successful. I still don’t know whether I should have treated them differently, but it was a good first attempt. The section on the Goetia in this book is evocatively called “The Lords of Darkness,” beginning with a Tolkien quote about the Nazgul. It describes how most of the demons described in the Lemegeton and Pseudomonarchia Daemonum are just other people’s gods.

This section closes off by discussing necromancy and low magic. Apparently necromancy is “the ugliest and most dangerous of magical operations,” which I would not agree with, but of course by “necromancy” he’s referring to grisly old-school rituals meant to raise a spirit by means of an actual corpse, and not to just any act of communication with the dead. These rituals involved dressing in grave-clothes and eating dog’s flesh and unfermented grape juice (oh no, not grape juice!), and evoking Hecate. (Apparently no one can look at Hecate and remain sane, so Hecate is officially a Lovecraftian eldritch abomination now, which I honestly have no problem with.) Hecate’s historical rituals definitely weren’t pretty, whatever some modern witches might have you think. Some PGM spells require that you burn feces as a sacrifice to her, so yeah, none of this really surprises me. No sense in going to all the trouble of these gruesome rituals to get a few questions answered. Automatic Writing works well enough for me.

The section on low magic does not concern modern herbalism or any more practical folk magic, but ancient love spells, mandrake lore, the Hand of Glory, and other stuff like that. That’s because this is a book of black magic, not white magic (as it were).

The first section of the chapter on devil-worship concerns how the idea of Satan originated, and changed from a prosecuting angel to a fallen angel to the de facto god of evil and opposing force to the Almighty. I knew most of it, but I’m surprised Ahriman and Ahura-Mazda weren’t mentioned. Satanism, as described in this chapter, is more of a “bad is good and good is bad” anti-Christianity than actual modern Satanism. In 1967, LaVeyan Satanism had only just become a thing, and the modern Satanic movement hadn’t really taken off yet. Cavendish says that people who practice this supposed anti-Christianity are probably rare. Instead, he discusses existing religions that are subversions of traditional Christian thought, like Gnosticism (which teaches that God is evil and that the whole world is ruled by evil beings called “archons,” which must be defied by any means possible ), and alleged or accused Satanists like (medieval) German “Luciferians” and the Templars. A lot of the accusations made against these groups were also made later against “witches.”

The difference between “witchcraft” and the ceremonial magic described in the previous chapter is that, while ceremonial magicians command and control demons in the name of God, (historical) witches are subservient to and worship the demons. Right out of the gate, Cavendish dismisses the Murray theory (and this was written back when it was popular), but he also suspects that the trials must have been based on some existing thing: “Witches and Satanists exist today and it is likely that they existed in the past, if only in small numbers.” I disagree with Cavendish on this matter. I don’t think there was ever a real witch-cult, be they pagans or Satanists or anything in between.

It is definitely uncomfortable that he uses the word “witch” to refer to these devil-worshippers, but it’s clear he’s referring to the conception of witches in the Early Modern Period, regardless of whether they were real or not. He provides numerous accounts and confessions about the Witches’ Sabbath and what it consists of. Cavendish suggests that witches show contempt for the Eucharist in particular, because those who do magic already have the powers of God. I really appreciate his attempts to trace all of these common characteristics of the Witches’ Sabbath to their origins. I like his theory that the similarities between the Witches’ Sabbath and Dionysian worship or other pagan practices indicate the survival of similar ideas, rather than real practices.

The closest Cavendish gets to actually mentioning Wicca is this:

“Modern witches are extremely secretive and very little about their beliefs and practices is known to outsiders. There are said to be as many as six thousand of them in England, with the number steadily increasing. Like other magicians, they insist that they are devoted to good works. Their wax images are intended to heal the sick and far from blasting crops or eating babies, they try to assist the fertility of Nature. […] The witches worship a moon-goddess, whose name is secret, but who is probably Diana, and a sun-god who may be Lucifer. They believe in reincarnation and a Lord of the Underworld who determines when and where the witches will be reborn. This Lord is perhaps Lucifer as black sun and also perhaps Cernunnos the horned god. The witches say that their goddess, the Queen of Heaven and All Living, went down to the underworld and mated with the Lord, which is a version of the myth of Persephone…

The next paragraph goes on to say that witches (Wiccans) are “heavily affected” by the Murray theory, base their rituals on ancient paganism, that they celebrate the four Celtic festivals, and that they perform their rituals naked. “Whether they adore the black bulk of the Goat, squatting on its altar, is not known, but they say that their rites bring them a profound sense of security and peace.”

And… that’s it. Clearly, Cavendish doesn’t know much about Wicca, and I don’t know if that’s simply because it isn’t his field or because Wicca hadn’t gained enough of a presence in the mainstream for him to know. He doesn’t mention Gerald Gardner in the witchcraft section at all, despite Gardner enthusiastically calling himself a witch. The only mention of Gardner is in the ceremonial magic chapter: “Gerald Gardner, a member of a modern witch coven, says that witches work naked, so as not to impede the release of magical force which their ceremonies generate in their bodies.” And that’s it! Wicca obviously did not have the cultural traction that it has now, which is why I don’t begrudge Cavendish for using the word “witchcraft” to refer to devil-worship. The word “witchcraft” meant something different then than it does now.

The final section of the book is about the use of Mass in magic, and the perversion of it into the “Black Mass,” a sort of variant of the witches’ sabbath where Satanists worship the devil by subverting the Mass. It all sounds very edgy to me. I’m not sure if anyone actually has performed a Black Mass or if it’s just a shock-value urban legend type thing. Cavendish helpfully points out that most occultists don’t believe in Satan, believing that God is the whole of the universe, good and evil, and to separate it into a “good” and an “evil” is to miss the point, “failure to understand the true nature of the universe.” I agree with that, and it’s nice to have my sentiments validated.

I think that, despite this book’s age, it’s still a very good theoretical introduction to the history of and concepts behind occultism. Most of the flaws in this book come from it simply being out of date in some places. I definitely recommend it for anyone who wants to know more about old-school magic, and it’s also a good resource for writers who want to add some realism to their magic systems without studying occultism in-depth. Practicing occultists probably won’t be exposed to any new information, but there’s a lot in here, and I definitely liked having a thorough summary.

#my writing #old writing #book review #occult books #occultism #occult #witchcraft #witchblr #ceremonial magic #gematria #alchemy #astrology #goetia #folk magic #long post

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herdemimonde · 3 months ago

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For Now, Just Me

For years, I’ve been searching. Searching for that elusive feeling I’m convinced exists—a current, an energy, something visceral that anchors a woman to her divine femininity. I’ve felt it once or twice in my life, fleeting and faint, like a whisper carried off by the wind before I could fully grasp it. I’ve seen it in others, read about it in books, listened to it whispered through podcasts, and tried to summon it through courses and teachings. Yet, no matter what I’ve done, that feeling remains just beyond my reach.

I know I’m not fully rooted in my femininity. I see it in the way I sometimes act, think, and respond. It feels as though a part of me is dormant, waiting for a spark to bring it to life. And yet, after all this searching, I’ve realized something: maybe it’s time to stop chasing it.

Not out of frustration or resignation, but because I’ve grown tired of spinning my wheels. Instead, I’ll shift my focus to what calls to me right now—what feels aligned in this moment.

I’ll immerse myself in mastering seduction, refining the art that has already brought me so much joy and fulfillment. I’ll become an even better courtesan, someone who understands the intricate dance of desire and ambition. I’ll invite more men into my life who will indulge me, spoil me, and remind me that I am worthy of every luxury life can offer.

I’ll pour myself into improving my looks and health, not out of shame or necessity, but because I want to. I want to look in the mirror and see someone who pleases me—someone I feel proud of, someone who radiates beauty, confidence, and ease.

Will any of this bring me closer to activating my femininity? Perhaps. I do believe it’s a feeling to be found—because I’ve seen women who radiate it effortlessly. But maybe it’s not my time yet, or maybe the moment just hasn’t arrived.

For now, I’ll focus on what’s in front of me, knowing that life has a way of revealing exactly what you need when you’re ready to receive it.

#femininity #divine feminine #divine femininity #musings

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confessiionario · 2 months ago

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"as the image of myself becomes sharper in my mind, the less afraid i am that someone will erase me by denying me love."

this sentence has stuck with me ever since i heard it on one of my favourite podcasts ever, "wild geese" with anna corinne. i keep on listening to her episodes on a loop, to wake up and start the day, to drift away into sleep (she has an amazing voice for that), to keep me company while i work, etc... always there, and i've actually been able to share a word directly with anna herself, and i can say for sure that she is one of the most interesting human beings i came accros in the latest years. it's really difficult to find people that i deeply, truly identify myself with—but this one was a match made in heaven. she is organising my mind, like a second brain, and giving names to ideas and thoughts i've been having lately. i've thanked her personally, which is an honour, and i'm basically recommending it to everyone, so here's another strong recommendation to hit pause on whatever you're listening to and just allow yourself to experience a deep dive on a super intricate and complex mind. it's so good to finally feel like i'm finding the true meaning of self-love, self-confidence, self-acceptance. i'm filling in the inner needs i was denying, the need to create, the need to express myself, the need to speak and write, the need to show up, the need to talk about my life, the need to share my daily thoughts, the need to engage with the community, to stay in touch with friends and family, to be active online and connect with the world again, being courageous enough to share my creations, my words, my art, my work, the way i see the world. i'm torn between feeling like i'm so many things and nothing at once, i'm constantly floating from feeling to feeling, constantly living on the edge of existence, on the edge of life. but i'm finally appreciating the run, the fact that i'm alive, my voice and my means and resources. i can only be who i am, i can only do what i'm capable of, i can dream with no limits and i have the duty, the compromise to myself, to make my dreams and ambitions come true. i'm not looking for big things, for fame, for recognition... i'm only looking to exist, my way, to validate my place in the world, and to finally share who i am and everything i've been keeping private. (and i will still keep a lot of things private, as everyone should. it's goo to evaluate and balance, always good...) anyway, i'm rambling at this point, i think you get the idea—already from the very beginning, because the quote is very self-explanatory... but i wanted to give my take and share my point of view and personal situation. i don't feel seen here, which can be good in a way, but what really matters is that this capsule of information exists somewhere, for someone, even if only me. it's always good to have reminders here and there, although life and the universe are veeery good at giving you all the hints you need and driving your way. just take your time, make your own melody, your own rhythm, dance through life, and more than anything learn to accept yourself (as you are and as you change). knowing what your essence is is the first step to acceptance, and knowing what your energy is like and what it demands to stay healthy is crucial to choose where you want to go. destiny plays a roll, of course—at least, i believe it in my heart and soul—but you also have to be able to see the chances and play with them, enjoy them, make the most of them. make the most of life and of being alive, that's the motto i guess. it's easy and difficult at the same time, i honestly think the trick is abstraction. i will say more on the 'abstraction' thing one of these days, it's a really interesting and complete concept, something i've been developing lately. i have a bunch of scattered notes that could all eventually turn into one of there blog posts... hope all of them will see the light of day (or of the moon... i normally write in the night/dawn) eventually.

thank you for listening, thank you for seeing me, whoever you are—hello, dear me. dear life. dear world. "ooh baby baby, it's a wild world" oh yes it is ma'am -- Solarpunk Guidance 10 Mar, 2025 · 04:20H ahahahahah... blaze it

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kudosmyhero · 2 months ago

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Transformers #1

Read Date: November 13, 2023 Cover Date: October 2023 ● Writer: Daniel Warren Johnson ● Art: Daniel Warren Johnson ● Colorist: Mike Spicer ● Letterer: Rus Wooton ● Editor: Sean Mackiewicz ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers (👏=didn't like it, 👏👏=it was ok, 👏👏👏=I liked it, 👏👏👏👏=I really liked it!, 👏👏👏👏👏=I loved it!)

Reactions As I Read: ● new Transformers! this might help alleviate my disappointment that IDW lost the licensing ● first page is already heavy. jeez! (I'm here for it) ● is this Spike and Sparkplug Witwicky? are they alluding that Buster died? ● Carly's van is EPIC

● that… was a long-ass fall. I'm not sure Carly and Spike should have been able to get up and move around after that 😳 ● Starscream is on the ship with the Autobots? I'm so curious of what has happened! ● 100 years of war is a little easier to wrap one's head around than millions of years of war ● oh, Jetfire. why would Starscream be the one you choose to wake up first? ● dude, that panel of Optimus Prime bent clear over backwards in his attack on Starscream is rather creepy… but it emphasizes the fact these guys are robots ● I thought one of O.P.'s eyes were damaged?* ● Ratchet 💜 ● Soundwave ♥️ ● where Starscream shot Bumblebee in the face… will he not be able to speak in this version, I wonder? like in the movies? ● wait--Bumblebee isn't dead, is he? nah… right? ● *OH, his eye was repaired when the Teletraan thing woke him up ● JESUS! poor Dave! ● 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

Synopsis: Spike Witwicky finds his father, Sparkplug, asleep in a bar. Spike asks his father how long he’s been there, to which Danny the bartender answers since noon. Sparkplug notices that Spike has his brother Jimmy's telescope with him. Spike tells him that he and Carly were planning to go up to Hanger's Rock to look at the full moon. He says it helps him remember Jimmy, to which Sparkplug grouses that it's better to just forget. Spike fires back at his father, telling him he won't end up like Jimmy. Meanwhile, another patron is drunkenly ranting about how he saw a giant boxy jet fly down from space. Their conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Sparkplug's co-worker, Davey, here to pick him up for their shifts. Sparkplug tells Spike that he has to grow up eventually, to which Spike angrily asks if he means being like him. As the adults drive off, Carly arrives to pick Spike up in her van. Carly consoles a dejected Spike by suggesting they go "pretend they're on another planet."

At Hanger's Rock, the pair climb the mountain in search of a better view and discuss their future ambitions. Spike has recently been accepted to the University of California, Berkeley, where he wishes to follow in Jimmy's footsteps and become an astronaut, though he's reluctant to actually tell his father about it since Jimmy's death. Carly, meanwhile, has been looking at art schools, but she and her father are struggling to make it work financially. Carly takes Spike's hand in hers, telling him how sorry she is about what’s going on with his family. As the two teenagers lean in closer, an earthquake shakes the ground, causing the mountain to split open and sending the two plummeting into the depths below. Recovering, they find themselves inside a giant circular structure — the booster of a giant spacecraft. Spike ventures further inside the spacecraft and finds the main control room, littered with the mangled bodies of what appears to be some sort of giant robots.

Jetfire flies into the Ark and transforms, grateful to have found his fallen friends. He activates Teletraan One to repair and reconstruct his fellow Cybertronians, granting them new forms he found on Earth. The first to be reactivated is Starscream. Jetfire warmly greets his old friend, having not seen him in centuries. Starscream thanks Jetfire for waking him and says that he's glad he "picked the right side" before immediately turning to the nearby Bumblebee and blasting his head off. The stunned Jetfire, unaware that their people have been at war for the past hundred years, tries to stop him, but Starscream turns his weapons on his old friend for showing weakness. Starscream aims his weapon at Jazz next, but he is stopped by a reconstructed Optimus Prime!

As the Autobot leader and Decepticon warrior fight, Prime notices the humans and instinctively dives to protect them from Starscream’s fire. Starscream's attack is halted by the intervention of Ratchet, right as Teletraan One reconstructs Skywarp. Realizing the computer is reconstructing them randomly, Starscream tells Skywarp to bring their fellow Decepticons closer. Optimus realizes that the Decepticons will outnumber them and orders a retreat, telling Ratchet to load their fellow Autobots into his new form's trailer while he fends off their opponents. He reaches for his ion blaster but is intercepted by cannon fire from a revived Soundwave. As he recovers, he sees Bumblebee's remains, cradling him in despair before being beset by Starscream and Ravage. Seeing this, Spike and Carly run out and push Prime's blaster to him, allowing him to fight back.

Left with no choice, Optimus fires at Teletraan One, destroying the computer and preventing the remaining Decepticons from being reconstructed. As Teletraan explodes, Optimus grabs Carly and Spike. He and Ratchet transform and drive out of the Ark into the mountains below, Starscream and Skywarp in hot pursuit despite their low energon levels. Jetfire regains consciousness and follows after them, firing on Starscream much to his regret. Starscream volleys back, critically wounding Jetfire. Fortunately for the Autobots, Skywarp begins to run out of energy and the Seekers are forced to retreat.

Needing to recuperate, Spike leads the Autobots to an abandoned quarry. As he succumbs to his injuries, Jetfire apologizes to Optimus; so much has changed since he left Cybertron in hopes of saving it. Optimus tries to use the Matrix of Leadership to heal Jetfire, but Ratchet tells him that his injuries are too great. Optimus grips his old friend's hand as he passes, still lamenting his failure.

Back in the Ark, Soundwave reports to Starscream that he is unable to fix Teletraan One, as they lack both the energon and the raw materials necessary. Until it is repaired, they are the only Decepticons left. Soundwave has already sent Laserbeak to scout for possible energon sources, but the job of harvesting it falls to Starscream since he has the most energon reserved. Begrudgingly, Starscream accepts. After all, he is leader of the Decepticons now.

As Davey and Sparkplug end their shift at the nearby power plant, Davey tries to talk to Sparkplug about his recent troubles, but they are interrupted by the arrival of Starscream, irritated he has to be the one doing all the work. The pair try to escape, but Starscream notices them. Sparkplug hides inside the plant, while Davey is snatched up by the giant alien. Starscream smiles to himself as he crushes Davey in his hand, amused at how fragile, squishy, and pathetic the humans are.

(https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Transformers_(2023)_issue_1)

Fan Art: IDW Transformers TCM Variant by uncannyknack

#image #image comics #my image read #transformers #comics #comic books #fan art #fanart

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readwritedrawrecordrepeat · 8 months ago

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I think what makes the PNGs they used during the Splatfest announcement look so odd is the fact that it's really hard to tell what we're supposed to make of it.

The Splatcasts are also meant to be listened to as a podcast, right? So of course, characters (and other guests) calling in using the monitor and not showing up themselves/via video would make sense. So if they simply structured it like a Discord/Zoom call (ex. giving each idol their own PFP that lights up as they talk, or something like that), it would make sense and make it clear that they're meant to be calling in. Or heck, even use their 2D art or the logos for each band, with or without the light ups.

With the PNGs, though? Why would they use pictures of themselves to call in instead of a PFP or video? It almost feels like we're supposed to pretend that they're calling in using a video, and THAT'S what makes it seem a bit cheap to me. I don't really want to say it's lazy, though, since something tells me there's a lot of messed-up stuff going on behind the scenes of Splatoon 3's development, and I don't want to blame the developers for something that likely isn't their fault. The artbooks show clear ambition, so I'm 90 percent sure they had better ideas but not enough resources, money, or time. I wouldn't be surprised if the higher ups thought, "It's just an announcement, it doesn't need anything special."

Anyway, I even think the 3D PNGs could have worked if they had a volume/mic icon in a corner that would light up/animate whenever someone was talking, since again, that would give a greater impression of a video call with the cameras off for some reason.

Like I said, I'm always hesitant to blame the developers, since we don't always know what's going on behind the scenes. My vote is that they're either being allocated to Animal Crossing or Splatoon 4 (i.e. the higher ups have given up on Splatoon 3, are putting everything into making one last, really good event and end a controversial game on a relatively high note), had bigger ideas and were simply ordered not to put in the extra effort/money it would take, or were too burnt out or crunched to do something better. Still, I think it would have been worth it to do a little extra something that would make it clearer what it is we're looking at, rather than slapping on some PNGs and making it seem like we're supposed to imagine they're animated.

Finally, I don't think we should take this as an indicator of what the rest of Grandfest is going to be like. It's clear they're putting plenty into the event ITSELF, and considering the fact that a good chunk of the fanbase couldn't care less about the news segments/Splatfest announcements, I understand why they would put more effort into the parts the fanbase care about the most.

#splatoon 3 #grandfest

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art-of-manliness · 8 months ago

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Odds & Ends: September 6, 2024

Macbeth. Ever since my podcast with Eliot Cohen on what Shakespeare can teach us about power and leadership, I’ve had a hankering to read more of the Bard. But I read somewhere that to really get the full effect of Shakespeare’s plays, it helps to hear the plays performed instead of merely reading them. So I downloaded a performance of Macbeth done by the Folgers Theatre on my Audible app and listened to it during my morning walks. It was great! So many good lessons on the dangers of unchecked ambition. I’ve already downloaded King Richard III, and it will be my next morning walk companion. If you’ve wanted to get more Shakespeare in your life, try listening to him instead of reading him. Flint and Tinder Waxed Canvas Trucker Jacket. The summer heat broke here in Oklahoma this week, and we’re starting to get a faint whiff of fall. Which means I’ll soon be busting out my favorite piece of autumnal clothing: the Flint and Tinder Waxed Canvas Jacket. I’ve had mine since 2016, and it’s only gotten more handsome with time. The F&T Trucker Jacket is pricey, but it will give you years of use. I’ll probably still be wearing mine in another eight years. Read my full review of the Flint and Tinder Waxed Canvas Trucker Jacket here. EA Sports NCAA College Football 25. Overall, I haven’t been a big fan of the changes that NIL (Name, Image, Likeness) has brought to college sports. But one bright spot is that it ushered in the return of one of my favorite video games from high school: EA Sports NCAA College Football. (The game had been on a decade-long hiatus because of legal disputes over the use of players’ likenesses in the game). Gus and I have been playing it together the past few weeks, and we both really enjoy it. It’s fun to see all the little traditions from each college that the designers have put into the game. The playbook is a lot of fun, too. Back in high school, our football team ran the triple option that Air Force runs, so I’ve been playing as the Falcons to digitally relive my Friday night lights glory days. It’s just been cool playing a video game that I enjoyed as a young man with my son who is now a young man. The Natural. This Robert Redford baseball classic was my latest zone 2 cardio watch. I haven’t enjoyed a movie this much in a long time. First, the golden-hued cinematography bathes everything in a warm glow of nostalgia. It feels good just seeing the moving images on the screen. Second, the story is top-notch. It’s a baseball flick, but the movie makes obvious allusions to Greek epic poetry, particularly the Odyssey. Third, the acting is stellar: Robert Redford, Glenn Close, Wilford Brimley, Kim Basinger, Robert Duvall…such an all-star cast. I first watched this movie as a kid; it hit different watching it as a middle-aged man. Highly recommend. Quote of the Week Nothing can lift the heart of man Like manhood in a fellow-man. The thought of heaven’s great King afar But humbles us—too weak to scan But manly greatness men can span, And feel the bonds that draw. —Herman Melville Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/TCwPtr

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junkdayz · 8 months ago

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Most of this is copied but it still works to be honest—

INTRO POST !!

Hiiiiii I’m remi, Mia or zita (Zeeta), 18, any prns, dominican, pansexual.

Just in case for roleplay purposes: Non-binary. has a slight athletic build due to being on the gymnastics team when he was in high school. 6'3. he's very shy and awkward unless he's around someone he enjoys talking to. no matter the fc i will always use any prns and have a penis. i am NOT a girl. please don't call me one lol

Kinks are found here

DNI ୧ʕ •̀ᴥ•́ ʔ୨

if you cannot handle mature themes, if you're racist, homophobic, misogynistic, transphobic, if you're often involved in drama, if you support negative and hateful behaviour, if you kink and/or fetish shame, people who are dishonest, negativity, being interrupted, loud and crowded places, close-mindedness, unfair treatment, lack of respect for personal boundaries, being pressured into things, judgmental attitudes, procrastination, unnecessary conflict, insensitivity to others' feelings, lack of ambition, laziness, unreliability, people who are overly critical, feeling unappreciated

likes ʅʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔʃ

music, dancing, hanging with friends, trying out new foods, watching movies, video games, fashion and styling, photography, traveling, exploring new cultures, reading books, writing lyrics or poetry, collecting sneakers, practicing new dance routines, going to concerts, playing sports, cooking or baking, watching anime, painting or drawing, learning new languages, attending fan meet-ups and events, visiting cafes, shopping for unique clothing and accessories, participating in charity events or volunteering, listening to podcasts, yoga or meditation, going on nature walks or hikes, watching reality TV shows, doing makeup tutorials, visiting art galleries and museums, playing with pets.

I am an unpublished author, teen author, fanfiction author, beginner author and possibly many other things!!!! These factors don't make me or anyone less of an author, because you can write fanfiction and still be an author! You can be unpublished and still be an author! And you can be younger than most and still be an author!!!

Guess what! I will do requests!!! If you want to, send in a prompt for a one-shot! Look at the bottom for my request info!

What I write?

• I wanna write a lot of k-pop fanfiction's as of right now

• I write my own stories, and I would one day like to be an actual author

• I specialise in romance-type and heavy smut stories

• One-shots

• Multichapter fics

• And I'm gonna write/make a lot of WIPS (the list is endless!)

• Request reminders!!!!!

• I have a right to refuse requests!

This isn't me being rude and I'm sorry if you feel that way! It's just that I'm trying to stay safe online and if I'm not comfortable writing something I won't write it.

• I can write one-shots or mini-fanfics!

• I will do: Ships, SFW, Angst, LGBTQ+, one-shots, mini-fanfics, NSFW, Alcohol, _________ x reader, raceplay, gender-bent, alternate anatomy: boypussy | girlcock, regular stuff

• When it comes to requests try to send in ones that align with the fandoms I'm in!

• This is an LGBTQ+ safe place, everyone is welcome!!!!!

• If you don't like, don't interact, please! Again this account will be dark and freaky and may contain uncomfortable and triggering themes. i always content warn and tag the content that i know is sensitive so that people who don't want to see it, don't see it! i encourage those who are uncomfortable with what i write about (see below for specifics) to utilize the block and blacklist features to their liking! i can be slow to answer asks, i have a job and i am also neurodivergent so apologies in advance if it takes a while.

Fics written as of now

Pillow talk | reader x Femboy dosie (purple kiss)

#ao3 #writers on tumblr #writers blog #intro post #introduction #teen author #lgbtq community #lgbtq #kpop smut #kpop #kpop fic #kpop fanfic

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aff1uence · 1 year ago

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𓏲 * ( oliver jackson-cohen, cis man, he/him ) ⸺ pictures of DYLAN CHRISTOPHER KHOURI have been showing up all over my feed, and considering the last time they were #trending, it was due to a photograph of him looking attractively photogenic being rescued from a hostage situation going viral — i'm not likely to unfollow anytime soon. with their precisely coiffed hair, mixture of military clothing in the field and suits in the studio, i'm not surprised to hear that they are considered part of the NOUVEAU RICHES. after 35 years, they've managed to garner a reputation for being more brave than coarse, but their critics say that they're more haunted than gallant when they aren't too busy capitalising on the events that cause him to lose sleep every night ; cooking elaborate meals for himself alone ; photographing animals in the park. when they aren't occupied with their work as a journalist / former war correspondent, they've been sighted taking pottery classes. reputation.com has taken to calling them HERCULES in order to avoid a lawsuit ( again ). ──

GENERAL DETAILS.

full name: dylan christopher isaac khouri . nickname(s): d . dyl . age: thirty5 . date of birth: 4th of april , 1988 . place of birth: lismore , australia . current location: soho , new york city . ethnicity: jewish australian egyptian . gender: cis man . pronouns: he / him . sexual orientation: heterosexual . romantic orientation: heteroromantic . relationship status: single . religion: not religious . occupation: journalist / podcaster , former war correspondent . education: master of arts in journalism from murdoch university . accent: mild australian . spoken languages: english ( native ) , italian ( fluent ) , arabic ( fluent ) .

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, ETC.

faceclaim: oliver jackson - cohen . hair colour and style: straight dirty blonde , a textured crew cut with low fade . eye colour: blueish green . height: 6 ft 3 . tattoos: none currently . none: none . clothing style: street style , jeans , neutral - toned tops , leather jackets . distinguishing features: various small scars across his body . including a recently healed gash from his hairline to just above his left eyebrow . signature scent: tom ford , oud wood .

HEALTH.

mental disorder(s): ptsd , anger management issues . physical disorder(s): a busted shoulder , permanent hearing damage ( 30% loss in left ear , 10% loss in right ear ) . allergies: none . sleeping habits: night owl , sleeps approx. 4 - 5 hours each night , has night terrors . eating habits: omnivore . sociability: extrovert . addictions: alcohol dependency . drug use: weed , party drugs such as mdma occasionally . alcohol use: daily , gets drunk twice a week minimum when not working .

PERSONALITY.

label(s): hercules . positive traits: brave , gallant , generous , sociable , protective . negative traits: haunted , selfish , coarse , noncommittal , stubborn . likes: working out , clubbing , photography , writing , hanging with the boys , flirting . dislikes: conferences , being fussed over , confronting his feelings , country music . fears: small spaces . goals and ambitions: to shed a light on the cruelties of war . astrology: aries ( sun ) , scorpio ( moon ) , leo ( rising ) . moral alignment: lawful neutral . element: fire . primary vice: pride . primary virtue: charity .

BIOGRAPHY.

dylan grew up in australia , with his mother grace and his father rowland isaac . most of their life revolved around rowland's job – a military man . they moved around often when dylan was young . his father was the person he admired most and he planned to follow in his footsteps . the signs of the horrors of war were there , but a young impressionable mind convinced itself that it was to be expected and that it was a badge of honour . when his little sister was born , things settled a bit more . they stopped moving as often , allowing dylan to make friends while the family was slowly starting to crumble . rowland was struggling more and more with what he had seen in active duty , often having periods where he did not understand where he was or who was around him . more often , grace would leave the house for the night and leave dylan and gwyn alone with rowland . although dylan always empathised with his father for what he had gone through , his post traumatic stress was escalating into more than just night terrors . the violent outbursts became a regular occurrence and dylan often felt responsible for ensuring the safety of his little sister and himself .

approaching his high school graduation , dylan initially did not want to go to university . he considered finding a job locally , perhaps working for a gym , so he could stay home and keep an eye on the family . after much convincing from his both his parents , he ended up enrolling at the university of queensland for a bachelor in political science in brisbane .

the day before he left for university , his mother pulled him aside and dropped a bombshell on him . rowland was not his father . his father was a man by the name of haim khouri – an egyptian businessman she had met in italy in a whirlwind romance , when she and rowland had already been together for a while . grace made him swear he would not tell rowland , fearing for his mental state . so , dylan kept the secret from rowland and from his sister .

while at university he contacted with his biological father . he even flew out to tunisia , his current home , to meet him . dylan learnt arabic , craving to have a closer connection to his paternal side as he heard the struggles rowland continued to endure . after his bachelor in political science , he followed it up with a masters' in journalism at murdoch university in perth , unsure what he wanted in life . following graduation , he started work as a political journalist in brisbane , first written correspondence , then as a field reporter for a local news programme . he travelled all around australia and didn't get to visit home as often anymore . however , just after gwyn's 16th birthday , he travelled home only to find it in chaos and his little sister covered in blood and rowland dead on the floor .

a lot changed after that . the case was dropped and him , gwyn – now florence – and grace moved to the us . he continued his journalism career , actively pursuing a path towards war correspondence . he had seen how much war impacted those around him , and studying politics and international relations , he knew that he needed to report on it . not long after the move , he was off again , running around active warzones and photographing and reporting on them for cnn .

late march 2023 , dylan did not make his scheduled call . it took 48 more hours before he was reported as missing . the envoy he had been travelling in was stopped for what was initially thought to be a routine check . instead , he had found the barrel of a gun pressed to the back of his head and he was escorted away by a terror organisation . he was not alone . two fellow correspondents , one from the bb c, one independent reporter from germany , were also captured . the first few months , they were used as a pawn in negotiations with the reporters' respective home countries and countries of employment . he was kept in relatively comfortable conditions . his captors demanded supplies , then money , then weapons . the list never ��ended and demands became too outrageous . by the time august rolled around , it had been claimed that all three of them had been assassinated . the governments were only able to confirm the deaths of the english and german reporter due to footage appearing on the dark web . in reality , they kept him around and alive just for the fun of torturing him .

early october , months after the outcries for dylan's release had died down and the news had moved on , though contact had remained between the australian government , united states government and the terrorists under the radar , the home he'd been kept in was raided and he was released . on his way out , looking rather worse for wear , one of his colleagues from the cnn captured a photo of him . it went viral , not because he had been presumed dead , but because despite his injuries , despite his worsened physical and mental state , he looked attractive in the candid photo and the internet went wild .

since his reappearance , he has been involved in talk shows , podcasts & radio shows . he has yet to see a therapist , despite the horrors he now continues to relive nightly .

#wealth.intro #𝐃𝐘𝐋𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐈 . biography #abuse tw #psychosis tw #death tw #war tw #abduction tw #torture tw #ptsd tw #murder tw

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redsoapbox · 1 year ago

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The Third and Final Volume of Have Yourself a Merry Indie Christmas is Released Tomorrow

So, I've reached the end of a rather wonderful journey. When I had the idea of curating a Christmas album, almost two years ago now, I didn't really have a specific project in mind at all. However, the best decision I took early on was to ban cover versions (I adore all the great Christmas classics, from Bing and Nat to Noddy and Elton) but anybody can round up a crappy cover version of an all-time classic. I wanted to see if there were undiscovered Christmas songs floating around in the ether that had simply never had a fair hearing, songs good enough to be future classics, at least within the genre of Indie music.

That meant a lot of back breaking and heart breaking (there are still moments when I full-on curse a record company for not consenting to the release of a track!) work along the way. I must have listened to every Indie Xmas compilation ever recorded - day after day spent trawling through Bandcamp, Discogs, label catalogues, you tube, Xmas podcasts and blogs.

On the subject of the latter, it was chancing upon the phenomenal Christmas Underground – We are the War on Christmas (Music) that allowed the fanciful vision I had of compiling the 'Best Indie Xmas Album Ever' to crystalize into a realistic proposition. I was discovering song after song there that I was falling in love with. These songs were from bands (mostly unknown to me) from all parts of America and all over Europe (Scandinavian Indie Xmas songs is a really flourishing sub-genre), it was incredibly exciting and lead to dozens of punch the air moments as, one by one, bands agreed to participate.

In addition to discovering new songs, I also set about tracking down bands that I admired and who I knew had an Xmas song in their back catalogue. I was lucky enough to get hold of songs from Dodgy, Girl Ray, White Town, bis, Pete Astor and many more. It was around this point that my idea for a 20-30 song album began to trend to the mammoth 108-track compilation that was released last Christmas. There were just so many unbelievable songs that I had to try and track down.

An example of the obsessive hole that I was digging for myself came when I read a write up on a Minneapolis band called GLOSS (who became Poshlost) before splitting up. Christmas Underground called their song 'Gifts Received' 'the best Joy Division/New Order Christmas song of all time! From the baseline, to the vocals, to the lyrics, GLOSS have hit the nail on the head when it comes to writing a dark, pulsing, disturbing Christmas song'. You can imagine, as someone whose favourite band is JoyDivision/New Order how much I wanted that song, because, unbelievably and against all the odds, it did sound like a Joy Division Christmas song. The band had long since split up though (the song dated back to 2015) and my bandcamp messages met with silence. In the end, I tracked down a band member on Facebook and received an immediate and favourable reply. That wild goose chase was repeated dozens of times through 2022.

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Volumes I and II succeeded in raising £5,800 for Crisis, nearly treble the target I had set myself, having been played on BBC6 Music, BBC Scotland, Radio X and BBC Radio Wales (each volume was named Album Of The Week by Huw Stephens). In addition, the songs were played on "indie" stations around Europe and America (thanks to Sandra and Alice for constantly playing the albums on their shows from Berlin) but also in Canada, Hong Kong and Australia. Have Yourself a Merry Indie Christmas was also shorlisted as a (Welsh Origin) AOTY by Wales Arts Review.

The main aim accomplished then, but what of my personal ambition to compile an album that would be played at Christmas for years to come? Here is the verdict: A REMINDER OF THE INCREDIBLE REVIEWS FOR HAVE... (tumblr.com). I don't think there is anything else to touch it. For example, Rough Trade, as good an Indie label as there ever was, released a Christmas comp this year (some five or six tracks are on HYAMIC too), but it comes nowhere near the quality of any of the three volumes that constitute Have Yourself a Merry Indie Christmas.

Speaking of Volume III (you may have read the tracklist already at Have Yourself a Merry Indie Christmas Vol III: Line Up Reveal - Wales Arts Review), it matches the standard of its predecessors, featuring The Wedding Present, The Futureheads, Helen Love, Euros Childs and Buzzard Buzzard Buzzard.

The project closes then, having rounded up 143 distinctive, thrilling Christmas earworms into a three volume compilation that raises money for a cause which demands urgent support. This is the 21st Century and no one should be homeless in the United Kingdom. Thank you all for your generosity in helping others and for giving these forgotten songs a home too.

A track from Volume III "Xmas Trip" by Run On

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You can purchase all three volumes here Music | Various Artists (bandcamp.com) If you do that on December 1st (after 8.ooam UK time) bandcamp waives its commission, raising more money for Crisis at Christmas.

#indie music #christmas music #xmas #Youtube

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