#the answer is those two weirdos fucking in the other room

[the-littlest-goblin]

Midst 3.13: But if I'M pro-Breach and YOU'RE pro-Breach then WHO'S driving the Trust??

[cathnospam]

Continuing from This Drabble about you and your BF Katsuki answering sex questions about each other<3

Black Female Reader x Katsuki Bakugo , mentions of panty stealer bakugo, slight smut???

“Okay uh, how do you rate your partners kisses 1-10.”

“9”

“9?! Muthafucka I taught you how to kiss—-“

“You always push back first like you can’t handle it, it pisses me off.”

“I like breathing.”

“So.”

Rolling your eyes, “I was ganna say 12/10, but since you’re being a bitch—“

“So, 12/10 got it. Next.”

“Does your partner have any dirty secrets?…oooh.—-”

“M’going to bed.” Bakugo immediately gets up to take off his tank top seeing as he was going to sleep in your dorm tonight, but as the shirt clung to his semi flexing biceps you grab him, “No, y/n.”

“Oh c’mon boy are the secrets THAT bad?! I’ll tell you mine at least—-fuck.” He considers for a moment. Curiosity weighing heavier than his will to sleep at the moment, “You ass.”

“What did you call me—“

“I think…” You place two fingers on his soft lips, “One secret is that……….one time, when you were out on work study you left your black tank top in my room….and….i missed you….and i was ovulating so i….put on your tank top and ….played…with myself.”

The air was thick, it’s as if Bakugo took it as he grew closer to you while speaking, there wasn’t much to make him speechless but dammit that’s a new one.

Fuck. That’s actually more sexier than he wants to admit right now. He crossed his legs, hoping a tent won’t form in his grey sweats and noticed your eyes wandering at every part of your room but his eyes.

“I…moaned your name too.”

“You…you damn….pervert fuck—-“ His voice almost broke into a groan, looking away also embarrassed you knew he didn’t mean it in a malicious way from how he looked back at you, Adam’s Apple bobbing up and down, “Stop acting fucking weird. You did it. Who cares. As long as it was MY name you moaned.”

“Of course dumbass. I only want you…”

Bakugo felt his ears burning, already annoyed he was flustered once he groaned, “I took your panties once.”

“What?”

“Why the hell would you wear that lacy frilly shit during class in that short ass skirt? It’s like you want those idiots to see you.”

“That CANNOT be the reason—“

“IT IS. If you’re ganna wear ��em wear them IN OUR dorms you dumbass.”

“…well.”

“Well what.” He pouts.”

“Well where the fuck are they I like wearing them after I get waxed.”

Bakugo hesitates, not wanting to actually answer mainly because he doesn’t just have ONE pair of panties. But a few. “I’ll show you later.”

“Tch.” You mock his sounds, “Ever use ‘em to masturbate?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

You giggle, you can only imagine what his perverted ass has done with them. And the last time you seen them was in your hamper so you assumed they got lost somewhere in the laundry. Honestly it’s kinda….interesting he’s telling you this.

“Does your partner have any no’s during?”

“I’m not calling you a bitch.”

“Aw.” You sarcastically sigh, “Why.”

“Why the hell would I call you out your name—“

“You called me your slut yesterday.”

“…Slip of the tongue.” He crosses his arms like a child, making you giggle. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize it was hot.” You say adjusting yourself closer to him, you could actually feel the heat from his body rise as you kept speaking, “It’s fine. Degrading isn’t something I’d need from you anyway.”

“I don’t get that kink, who the hell likes to be disrespected by someone they…are y’know with.”

You shrug, you understand why certain people have kinks, but it’s hard to put in words for someone like Katsuki. He’s a very simple man when it comes to relationships. Almost traditional and old fashion which is what charmed you the most about him. He never even called you a bitch before in any sense nor has he ever told you anything that would genuinely hurt your feelings, “Some people are just into that.” You concluded, your boyfriend looks at you with an unresolved look, but accepts it anyway. Weirdos.

“I wouldn’t hit you either. Like in the face or anything. Only on the ass”

“Good because my face is too pretty for that.” Katsuki smirks at you, you’re absolutely right you’re too pretty for him to hit.

“Nobody else.”

“Hm?”

“…Nobody else is allowed to join us.”

Squinting for a moment his statement clicks , “OH! No threesomes and stuff. Oh yeah of course not. If I see you with any other girl I’ll kill you and her.”

Katsuki swallowed his laughter, masking it with a clearing of his throat, your eyes not tearing from his making sure he knew you were serious. You don’t scare him typically, but he knew the moments when you genuinely had an aura about you that screamed “Fucking try to play with me.” And this was one of those moments. “You look at me like I didn’t just fucking say —“

“I know.” Your voice cracked a little trying to cover up the jealous tone you were about to spew out. Just the thought of Katsuki touching another girl had you upset.

Little did you know it was the same for him with you.

“Anything else?”

“I won’t do race or age play.”

“What the hell…?—-“

“Well I am black so obviously no and then you have age play which is just a cute way of saying you like children—-“

“WHAT?”

You pause to cover up his loud mouth with your small hands, “SSSHH! Before we get in trouble again!…anyway moving on!”

Not wanting to argue, he takes your laptop and smacks your hand away, “What is something you DONT like that your partner does during sex.”

“Take my laptop away from me.”

He strikes you and look, he doesn’t say anything verbally but he says “quit fucking around” with his eyes, admitting defeat that he won’t give you back your laptop you sit back and think for a moment.

“Eh…Oh! I don’t like that you won’t let me ride you.”

Damn it.

He had a feeling you’d say that too. Bakugo scratches the back of his neck roughly while letting out a groan. Throwing his head back a little he side eyes you, “Why do you wanna be on top so bad. I’m the man I should—“

“It’s not even about dominating you or anything you can still fuck me from below, ‘Suki. You’ll still have all the power.”

Bakugo has seen porn videos where the guy fucks up into the girl. Even some where the man is straight up holding the girl up and pumps her full. It’s so erotic he couldn’t even finish the video, but even though he enjoys vanilla sex, he is quite certain riding him isn’t too far off from what he likes.

Besides he loves having your tits bounce in his face and feeling your nipples practically bounce into his mouth makes up of great reason.

“…Fine. But when I’M ready.”

“Yaaaayy mkay….now what is something YOU don’t like about me.”

“You’re ganna be pissed.”

Your smiles immediately transforms into a straighten line, “Uh oh.”

“I don’t …like when you cum too fast.”

It was a bit embarrassing yet confusing to hear. Clearly that means he’s doing a good job so why —

“Because I want to keep fucking you.” Bakugo speaks up as if he read your inner thoughts, all you could do was blink a few times at him, and he continued more, “Even though I don’t cum until after you do which isn’t that long, sometimes I wanna keep going. I’ve timed it, the moment I start fucking you sex only last about 6-8 minutes.”

“That’s average. Some people are 2-3 minutes.” You spoke with an unimpressed and deadpanned voice mostly because this sounded ludicrous to you and Bakugo seen it in your expression causing him to sigh in annoyance. “Shouldn’t your ego be filled knowing you make me cum fast?”

“Yeah, but —-fuck sue me for wanting more. And don’t say some shit like I’m a nympho or some shit because that’s fucking disgusting and those freaks are usually only in a relationship to fuck—-“

“OKAY OKAY CALM DOWN, BOY!” His voice kept getting louder and louder and you refused to have another write up because you have him in your dorm past curfew…again. “I get it though.”

“You want to be overstimulated.”

What? Bakugo scrunched yo his eyebrows. He never heard that term before used when talking about sex.

“Overstimulated means …well… showing you is actually better than telling you.”

In an instant Bakugo’s furrowed eyebrows soften, his gaze transitioned from confused to darker and subtly lustful. You felt the vibe of the room change so quickly you practically had to clear your throat to make him focus again.

“So the next question…”

“Nah, show me.” He firmly shuts your computer and places it on your nightstand. Arms still crossed, “Show me what that word means or should I look up a video and figure it out myself.”

“….y’can.”

It wasn’t ideal for your evening to end like this with him, but it’s just you and your slightly horny boyfriend watching porn videos.

What’s the worse that can happen?

[blueberryarchive]

i want reader to call him again...please

𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙧!𝙟𝙠

previously on steph's house // later at the game...

tw: mentions of non-con

You've always heard men talk about having called at least once in their life to have sex on the phone. They usually called in groups, mutual support or stupidity, you didn't know which it was.

You knew you always wanted to know how those women could have such rich, soft and daring voices. Even when they laughed it seemed like a well-rehearsed choreography and at the end they said your name as if they knew you down to your bones. You wanted that gift, you would pay for that gift.

Now much more than ever. Or maybe you would like to know how to make another decision as daring as taking the phone from the living room again and hiding it in the bathroom at Steph's house. The girls sleeping upstairs. You should probably go back to bed.

How dare you? You have a boyfriend, for God's sake. And not only that, but with this idiot? You could feel Steph's gaze on the back of your neck, judging your finger to make the final turn.

555-5662

The buzzing is the same, the heavy lump in your throat is not. You knew what awaited you on the other side of the line, it was cruel and disgusting; but you were lying if you said you didn't need to listen a little more.

In the silent night, in the darkness of the chick-yellow bathroom, shame haunts you, warming your ears, your hands on the phone when the soft click was heard on the other side.

"Mm." Was his response, silence was yours. What the hell had you done, were you crazy?

"Fuck," he laughed lowly, "not you again."

"Do you really play?"

"I'm on the team, if that's what you want to know. But I don't think you're adding numbers to your phone bill to ask so much shit, am I wrong?"

You let your forehead cool on the tiles on the wall, is he wrong?

"God, if I had you in front of me��” Jungkook sighed and your heart skipped a beat.

"What?"

"I would force your mouth open to see if you learn to answer people when they talk to you."

"Do you always have music on when you sleep?"

"Are you always such an annoying cunt?"

Your chest burns, your eyes sting.

"You probably have a boyfriend, you all have a lapdog behind you so you don't get bored."

"Please. My boyfriend can kick your ass." You responded quickly, letting the burning spread like burning garbage.

"Are you, then?"

"What?"

"Are you so bored that you have to call the weirdo from college."

"I don't even know why they consider you weird."

This time the laughter was genuine, stupid popular girl, didn't know what she was getting into.

"You would have noticed a while ago if you were in front of me."

"Are you missing teeth or something?" You laughed, chewing on your nails.

"I'd have you bend over with your head on the ground while I split that pussy in two. You'll probably be crying and your little pussy bleeding from the dryness."

"What if I don't want to?" And you cursed yourself for having hesitated, your callgirl career looked even further away.

"Who said anything about wanting?"

And there it was, the heavy knot tied lower, down your stomach to your legs.

"That's illegal."

"Shut up and put your hand between your legs." He interrupted. The smell of detergent was so strong all of a sudden, you looked at your pathetic reflection in the sink mirror.

"You're sick."

"And you're an insignificant whore who calls me at 4 in the morning to listen to my voice and touch herself. Wanting me to tell her exactly what she wants." The stranger growled under his breath. "You're all so spoiled and pathetic, you disgust me."

"Fuck you." Your wet cheeks started to bother you.

Silence, his laughter was lethal, hoarse from hours of interrupted sleep.

"Don't let me find out who you are, callgirl. You gonna' regret it."

Your eyes opened, the darkness and silence were no longer your allies, they now seemed to engulf you. Click, the unbearable tone torturing your ear.

[brooooswriting]

Do you think you could do a part two to the tutors to lovers leighton fic absolutely loved it 😍 no pressure though xx

Tutors to lovers 2

“Y/n y/m/n y/l/n” your mothers voice suddenly rang.

Gosh you were fucked.

You and Leighton quickly pulled away, trying to fix whatever you could before turning to your mom. “Mom, what are you already doing here?” You asked hectically, your voice wavering.

“I should be asking you that. What are you doing here making out with that blondie? This is the reason you’re failing y/n” she said, her voice harsh as she took a step towards you. You were used to them being disappointed in you but it wasn’t often that they said it out loud like that. Leightons phone rang again and you gave her a nod to signal that it was okay if she left. She was reluctant but still did as it was her father calling.

“Mom please, she’s to only re-“

“No! This is not ok y/n and we are going to talk about it once your father is here. I am very disappointed in you” you sighed and gave her a nod. By now you were happy that Leighton left, unknown to you she could still hear every word your mother said. Luckily other students and their parents filled the room before your dad came. “We are going to sit down. Your father will join soon” your mother said making you nod and walk up to your place.

Not long after the blonde came into the room followed by her parents. You could feel your mom’s eyes on her, an annoyed look on her face when she realized that the blonde would sit next to you. Her parents gave you a warm smile and greeted you with a hello which you quickly returned. Leighton send you a comforting smile, shifting so her thigh was touching yours to give you some comfort. A couple of minutes later your father joined, followed by some whispering between your parents and then a disappointed look from your dad. It was obvious that she told him what she walked into making this weekend an even bigger hell. Throughout the whole lecture your parents nagged you. ‘Why didn’t you know what?’ ‘Why didn’t you say that?’ ‘This was literally so easy’ ‘Didn’t you learn anything?’ And even if you said something they played it down, ‘your sister was able to do that in 9th grade’

Leighton in contrast was extremely proud of you, it may have taken a while but you finally understood the topic. “You did great” she whispered into your ear, her hand finding yours for a moment. This interaction alone gave you new energy to deal with your parents and their disgusting behavior. Once the lesson ended it was time for lunch in the cafeteria, another nightmare of yours.

“So, do you have any friends?” Your dad asked, even though it was more rhetorical you decided to answer.

“Yes dad, I do. I’m not some weirdo” you walked in front of them, leading them towards the cafeteria. As soon as all three of you had food, you walked to your usual table. On the way there you stopped at Lila’s, caneens, Willows, Jenna’s and some others just to show your parents that you had a lot of friends. You couldn’t help the smile that came onto your face when you saw your usual table, Whitney, Bela, Kimberly and obviously Leighton, sitting there with an annoyed look on their face. Each of them trying to tune out their parents.

“Those are your friends?” Your mother’s voice was clearly portraying her emotions which made you sigh again. Probably the 100th time today. You gave them a nod and settled next to Whitney, opposite from Leighton.

“Oh, you sat next to Leighton in math just now right?” Henry asked once he looked at you, a friendly smile on his face. You smiled back and nodded at him.

“Yeah, I’m y/n. She’s actually the only reason I’m passing that class, she’s so smart” you send both of them a smile before pushing your food around. Normally you were more than happy with cafeteria food when it was build your own pasta bowl day, but your mother had made a comment about your weight just before lunch.

Leighton send you a quick text asking if you were alright as you didn’t eat, her face full of concern as she looked up at you. You only gave her a nod with the best smile you could muster.

“You shouldn’t wear this top, it looks terrible” your mother suddenly said making everybody at the table look at you. You only gave her a nod, to scared that you’d cry if you talked, before standing up and leaving the room. The blonde waited for a moment before excusing herself ‘to get another water’ but it was no use. She couldn’t find you anywhere and when she texted you, you told her that you’d be back shortly.

And you were. Fifteen minutes later you came back, dressed differently than before and new layer of makeup on your face. You sat back down giving everybody a small smile, trying to act as if nothing had happened. But all of them knew, they weren’t stupid and they wished that they could do something. “We should go. We have another event planned” your parents said and stood up, giving you an expecting look which made you stand up too.

“I’ll see you later” you told the rest turning back to your parents “I’ll just use the restrooms real quick” they nodded and told you that they would be waiting in the room of the event, not caring about walking with you. You sighed once you entered the bathroom, happy that it was empty as it gave you some space. You’d have never thought that your parents could make you feel even worse than they already did all those years, but here they were destroying everything new you had and humiliating you in front of your friends, and even worse Leighton. As you stared into the mirror new tears formed in your eyes. You hectically wiped them away when the door open just to reveal the blonde.

“Hey, I just wanted to see how you’re doing” she said as you turned towards her, your back against the sink with your hands resting on top of the cold surface.

“I’m good, thank you” it was a good lie, everybody would have believed it. With a family like that you had gotten good at faking and lying. But after spending hours on hours cramped up in a dorm or in the library there was no way that you could lie to Leighton, especially after you tried many times just to stop the tutoring. The problem was that, even though she could see past the lie, she didn’t know what to say. All those years she had complained about her family and sure sometimes they could be annoying and rude, especially her mother but they were nothing against yours. Plus, her mother showed that she could change, she was happy for Leighton when she came out and supported her when it came to the decision that she wasn’t joining kappa.

She looked at you for a moment before deciding that there was nothing she could say that would even out what your parents said. So she instead leaned in to kiss you, pulling you closer to give you comfort. It helped, a lot. The closeness to her gave you new energy, you just had to wait until your parents left again so you could be happy again. It was as easy as that. That’s atleast what you tried to tell yourself. She only pulled away when there were footsteps in front of the door. “My parents want to invite you and your family to have dinner with us tonight, we are going to the fanciest place in town. So I’ll come over and help you choose an outfit when our parents go back to the hotel ok?”

You didn’t have it in you to have a discussion, so you only nodded. “I should go now before they kill me” you pressed a kiss to her cheek and went to the building next door, trying to find your parents in the sea of people. Sadly, you found them rather quick and sat down.

“The Murray’s found us” your dad started the moment your ass touched the chair, “they invited us to dinner. Great. As if we haven’t already spend enough time with them.” You decided not to say anything, everything you said they’d use against you.

“We want you to break up with that blonde” your mother added moments later making you freeze.

“What? No way. Why would I?”

“Because she’s bad for you. You’re failing” you could only shake your head, it amazed you how they would never listen to you.

“She’s the reason I’m not failing, mother. She tutors me and now I’m got from an E to a C and the prof said that if I keep up the work I’ll easily get a B and he’d give me some extra work that will get me an A. Than I’d have a gpa from 3.8. What more do you want?” You argued. There was nothing else you could do to please them any more. You’d never be enough for their standards.

“Don’t talk to your mother that way” you couldn’t believe it. Of course that was the only thing he heard, not the fact that you had a great GPA or the fact that you found a smart, loving partner. No, only that you weren’t 100% nice to your mom.

4 hours later, you walked into the restaurant immediately seeing the table filled with your friends and their parents. You were clad in a suit like outfit that Leighton had chosen, the colors matching what she was wearing. “Hello everybody” you said and sat down between the blonde and Kimberly’s mother.

“Ah, great to see you y/n. Where are your parents? Still waiting for the valley?” Belas dad asked, receiving an elbow from her mother.

“Uhm, no. They said that they couldn’t make it, sorry” you mumbled, fumbling around with the sleeves of your top. It was embarrassing but you felt like you would disappoint the rest if you didn’t show up.

“Well, I for one am very happy that you’re here. You’re such a nice young lady” Kimberly’s mother said, her hand squeezing your shoulder in a comforting manner. The rest of the table nodded in agreement making you blush a bit.

“Thank you very much Mrs. Finkel, that means a lot to me” the woman talked with you for a bit before you guys decided to order. While you waited you talked to everybody at the table, it felt like a big family. Something you had always wished for. Just as Evette asked you something you saw your parents walk in. And sit at another table. You swallowed heavily before quickly focusing on Evette again, hoping that nobody else noticed them.

“So, y/n, any suitors?” She concluded before looking at you expectantly. You opened your mouth, unsure of what to say until you felt leightons had squeeze your thigh.

“Actually, I’m dating Leighton” you gave them a smile as you intertwined your hands together and placed them on your thigh. PDA wasn’t her strong suit and you were fine with that.

“Oh that’s so great. Whitney, why don’t you have somebody like her?” Her mom said causing everybody at the table to giggle. You collected all your courage and looked over at the Murray’s who gave you a warm smile, your shoulders immediately relaxing. You turned your head further to look at the blonde who was already looking at you. You only smiled at each other, forgetting everybody around you for a moment.

Once dinner was finished and paid, all of you walked out. Running into a, to you unknown, tradition. Family pictures. “Alright, Leigh, come on. Fix your hair quickly. We want to take the picture” Henry said, getting his phone out already.

“Oh, here. I can take the picture” you extended your hand, but never received the phone.

“No, you can’t. You’re on the picture. You’re family now” her mom took your extended hand and pulled you next to your girlfriend who smiled brightly. You positioned yourself slightly behind her with a hand on her lower back, while her mother stood next to you. All of you smiled brightly while Bela took the photo.

“Take another one just of them, they look so good tonight” her mother said as both her parents detached from you. A small laugh left you, before you scotched a bit closer to her and soon after you could hear the click of the camera.

“Wait, not that quick. I want one with a bit of action” Bela said, her brows raised which made you and her parents laugh while Leighton hid her face in your neck. If they were your parents you’d probably also be embarrassed but like this is it was quite funny.

“A bit of action” you mocked quietly, causing the blonde to laugh and leave your neck. Instead she turned towards you so she could look at you. Unsure of what to do you just looked at each other until you both smiled. You decided to just take the shot as now everybody was watching you, you quickly leaned in and kissed her softly until you heard the click again.

“So cute” Kimberly’s mom said, earning an agreeing hum from her daughter.

“Let me look” Leighton demanded, scrolling through the hundreds of pictures her roommate took. She stopped at a specific one, smiling slightly. It was the moment you just smiled at each other, you couldn’t lie it was a really sweet and amazing picture which you’d definitely set as your background.

“Alright ladies. The car is there” her father said, opening the door for his wife. They were really cute, you couldn’t deny that.

“Oh, I think I forgot my lipliner inside. I’ll be back in a second” you asked if you should go for her out with her but she denied, saying that you could already get in the car. You waited outside, you felt like it was impolite to already get in. When she came out a couple of minutes later, you opened the door for her and then scooted in after her.

“Thank you for the evening and the driving, that was really nice. And it was really great to meet both of you” you said as all of you got out of the car. They really took you in today.

“We can only say the same. We are sorry for how the rest of the day went, but we are happy that you ate with us” they both hugged their daughter before hugging you. “We are going to the hotel now, sleep well.” Both of them said their goodbyes before disappearing, leaving you and Leighton on the street in front of the college.

“Wanna sleep over tonight? My roommate is sleeping at the same hotel as their parents” you asked. You had wrapped your arm around her shoulder as you walked back. She immediately agreed, a quiet room with you sounded better than her loud dorm.

It didn’t take long for you two to settle on the couch after changing into some sweats and a hoodie. There was no way to fight of the smile that crept onto your face when you saw her wearing your clothes. Getting them back was out of question though. You were cuddling on the couch while watching some random movie when there was a knock on your door. Reluctantly you both pulled away so you could open the door. “Mom? Dad?” You asked confused to why they were here after leaving you the whole evening.

“Hello. We just wanted to say goodbye” your father said, not really looking into your eyes. He was more focused on watching something behind you.

“And we wanted to say sorry. We treated you poorly and shouldn’t have said the things we said” your mother added. They weren’t a hundred percent honest but it was more than you imagined.

“Well, thank you. Have a save ride home” you said unsure of how to react. You definitely weren’t going to say that it was okay cause it definitely wasn’t.

“Goodbye y/n, goodbye Leighton” that was what really shocked you. Them saying goodbye to her was a mystery, a couple of hours ago they wanted you to break up with her. Confused you settled back on your previous spot on the couch.

“What was that?” You asked, your brows furrowed.

“Well, who knows” you immediately recognized a weird pitch in her voice. You studied her face carefully before deciding that something was off.

“What did you do?” She grinned up at you guiltily.

“I may have had a talk with them at the restaurant. And before you get mad at me, I couldn’t let them treat you like this. You’re such a Valuable acquisition to all of our lives and they were making you feel bad about your whole life. It sucked and they shouldn’t be able to do it without consequences” she explained, sitting up so she could look at you. She could be overprotective of the people she loved and she was kinda scared that she’d scare you off with it, but she was utterly wrong. You couldn’t help but admire her.

“That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you love” you pushed her chin up with two fingers before pressing multiple kisses to her lips. She really was the whole package and you wouldn’t change her for anything. “Nobody ever made me feel so good about myself” you added with a smile before standing up and extending your hand. “Come on, let’s go to bed” you smirked. She was up faster than you could realize, pulling you into your bedroom.

Gosh, you were so in love with her.

[ninthskzmember]

Birthday, debut.

Word count: 1,9k.

Warnings: Kind of suggestive, a few curses, kind of fluff too.

a.n: Hi, you can call me MoonJin, I'm 23 years old and this is the first thing I am publishing. I'm really open to constructive criticism! You all can suggest me anything, and make requests too! Hope you like it. If this gets some kind of support, I'll probably make a part two. I'm so full of ideas!

July 20th, 2019.

“Moonlight, wake up.” Minho moved my legs softly, trying to wake me up. I could feel the masculine cologne in the room.

“Just five more." I rolled over to the other side of the bed, facing the wall.

“It's your solo debut day... Happy birthday, by the way.” I could hear his cheeky smile, making me smile too. I turned around, and I could see his cute, swollen face from sleeping.

“Thank you, Min.” I answered as he handed me something in the dark room, the only light coming from the almost closed door that takes you to the aisle where the other room is and then to the living room.

“Jagi-ah, happy birthday!" Hyunjin entered the room where Minho and I were with a bouquet of roses in hand, opening the door widely.

Minho and I covered our eyes in pain for the sudden hit of light after being in the dark—and asleep—for so long.

“Hwang Hyunjin, you did not have to do that." I scolded the tall one, as if he were not my sunbae.

“I know you love this kind of thing even if you try to hide it, Moon. Now you have to wake up; it's a big day in numerous ways. NINETEENS KITSCH”

The boy who is only a few months older than me is way more excited than my oppa sitting right at the side of my legs, still with his hand on my thigh from when he tried to wake me up, and I still have his gift in my hands.

“Thank you, Jinnie.” I laughed it off. “Put those in the water; I'm waking up right now.” The two pairs of eyes followed my movements as if I were some kind of weirdo. “What?”

Minho and Hyunjin looked at each other and just made some type of grin.

“Am I missing something?”

“How are you so calm?” Minho talked after a while. “When we have a comeback, you can barely shut the fuck up." He joked, and Hyunjin laughed out loud.

“I know I should be excited... And I am! I'm just... To me, you know, you guys are my everything. I know a lot of idols can't wait for their solo debuts, but, to me, it is missing eight nineths of me. I have so much fun on stage... I'm just worried I won't like it that much.” It was my turn to give a worried grin.

“Yeah, Hyunjin-ah can take it from here." Minho got up and left the room, making me laugh. That's classic Lee Know.

"Angel,” he made his way to me once we were alone after leaving the bouquet on top of my bed, even though the door was still open. “We might not be up there on stage with you, but the eight of us will be looking proudly at our girl.” He smiled sweetly at me while hugging me by the waist, pulling me closer to him.

“I know you know I know, but not everybody knows, so you should close the door at least." Felix's deep voice made it's way to our ears, and we looked at him, closing the door behind him. “Happy birthday, you annoying cunt.” My best friend did let out the brightest smile ever and opened his arms to me as I made my way to him, winning a whine from Hyunjin.

”Get over it, Hwang. She prefers me still.”

“Don't fright over me. There's enough MoonJin for everybody.”

“WHERE'S THE YOUNG LADY?" Changbin slammed open the door with so much energy that you could tell he's had a ton of caffeine, and it's not even 7 a.m.He was followed by an equally energetic Jisung.

When I see them being chaotic, I can't help but think about Crash and Eddie from The Age of Ice. The cartoon.

"I think that's me." I raised my hand shyly.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" The two of them screamed and took me from Felix's arms, who was still holding me, making a me-sandwich in between them.

“You'll kill her with your tits,” a chill Seungmin was supported by the door's frame. “You'll suffocate the birthday gal."

"She'll die happily.” Jisung added, and everybody started laughing, except for Hyunjin, whose moment with him was long forgotten.

"What's so funny?” The maknae appeared out of the blue.

“Your face." Seungmin responded with the same aura as before "Who gave you this?" He took the roses from the bed.

"Who else would?" Felix raised his eyebrows and pointed at himself, making me smile as I flashed a glance at the original person who brought it to me.

“What's got you all moody, Hyung?" Jeongin saw the movement of my eyes.

"I was wishing her a happy birthday first."

"Actually, the first one was Minho Oppa." I teased and heard a chuckle from Felix.

"He remembered?" Jeongin asked, surprised.

"Just because she's debuting today." Seungmin answered calmly.

"Well, anyway, thank you all so much for your birthday wishes... I have to get ready for the day. Thank you so much, Felix, for the bouquet." I stated, as I started pushing everyone out of the room.

"Hey, this is my room too." Changbin crossed his arms on top of his chest.

"Yeah, and mine." Felix added.

"CHRIS OPPA, THEY'RE NOT LETTING ME GET READY, AGAIN." I screamed over to our leader, whose appearance was immediate.

"Happy birthday, sunshine." he said as he gifted me a small box with a bright smile on his face.

As I opened the thing, you could see a little moon hanging from a thin chain, everything covered in gold.

"Oppa, you didn't have to..." I pouted as I went ahead and hid on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me, still smiling adorably.

"I know I didn't, but I wanted to. You're always working hard. Just a little way to show gratitude." He kissed the top of my head.

"Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. I won't ever take it off." I smiled while taking the thing out of the box, handing it to him, and turning on my back so he could put it on my neck.

I made eye contact with Hyunjin, whose face was still in a frown. Felix pouting at the moment between our leader and me, and Changbin hugging him.

"There you are." Chris took my hair and placed it on my back again. "Now, the three of you get the fuck out of here and let the girl get ready for her big day." He looked at the guys, one by one. "What even are you doing here?" He asked with a soft laugh when he saw Hyunjin taking a seat on Minho's bed.

"I was talking with her."

"You can talk with her later, Hyunjin-ah. She's already running late." Chan made a movement with his head towards the door, and the younger one rolled his eyes.

He's so moody today.

"I'll take care of him. Take the other two, please." I laughed, and Hyunjin's face softened.

Chan nodded and took Changbin and Felix with him to have breakfast in the kitchen.

"You were saying?" I smiled at a not-so-grumpy Hyunjin.

"Thank you so much, Felix, for the bouquet." he said with a funny voice, imitating me.

"You know that sentence was directed at you, silly."

"You still said Felix."

"Hey, he's still covering for us when he does not have to. You should appreciate it." I scolded the tall one.

"You didn't thank me." he pouted.

"Thank you so much, Hyunjin-ah, for the most precious bouquet anyone has ever gifted to me." I walked towards him with a sweet smile on my lips.

"That sounds like the most beautiful melody to my ears." he said, his hands back to my waist, pulling me in again.

"So you don't like Kistch at all?" I giggled

"Oh, c'mon" he said, rolling his eyes. "You can be a little Lee Know when you want to." The boy added some kind of annoyed tone to his voice.

"Yeah, I spend like... most of my day with him."

His face dropped again.

"Stop being a jealous fuck!" I pushed him playfully.

"I will when you finally admit that you're in love with him and not me."

"Oh my God, why are you so dramatic?" I really laughed out loud.

"You did not give me a good morning kiss." flashed his eyes to my lips and back to my eyes.

"I don't ever do that."

"You should start, like, right now."

"You are taking my precious time."

A knock on the door was heard.

"Moon-ssi, you really need to get going." Felix's voice again

"See, he's still covering for us. If it was Seungmin that was sent to call me, he'd just open the door and catch you asking for kisses."

"Just admit that you love everybody else but me at this point, God." he exaggerated on purpose, being even more dramatic than before.

"I'm going, Lix." I said this towards the door and placed a sweet, soft kiss on the boy's lips, winning a big, bright smile from him.

"Give me a proper kiss before I leave." He pulled me back.

As I leaned close to him, my phone started ringing.

"tall, blonde, Australian."

"I know for a fact that's not Yongbok... or Chan Hyung." Hyunjin said while his lips were still in position to receive a kiss. I took my phone and answered.

"Hey, Luke." I said while looking straight into my member's eyes as his face dropped again, making me laugh.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Three voices screamed at the phone.

"Thank youuuu~" I laughed, still wrapped around Jinnie.

"You're very welcome" Michael answered joyfully.

"It's not my birthday there yet, though."

"It is." Ashton said, adding a bit of mystery to the conversation.

"It's like two in the afternoon over there... It's still the 19th."

"Nah, it's like around seven in the morning" Luke said, like it was obvious.

"What are you talking about?" Hyunjin is plating kisses on my face and neck while

"Yeah, well. We kind of just arrived in Seoul." Ash talked again.

"YOU WHAT?" I screamed right in front of the boy's face, causing him to roll his eyes.

"Happy birthday, Luna" a shy Luke spoke. "We gotta do some airport shit; I'll talk to you later. See you at your debut! Break a leg."

"What?! But..." I didn't get to finish my sentence because he hung up the phone.

"What did you yell for?" His eyes were mid-way closed.

"Luke, Mike, and Ashton just landed here." I smiled at him.

"They really do like you, huh?" He smiled back.

"They're my friends, I guess." I looked at the clock. "Honey, I need to get ready now. I seriously need to." I planted a little longer kiss on Hyunjin's lips, and he wouldn't pull away. "Please, baby" I whispered right on top of his lips.

"Fine. But we're going out tonight." He kissed my forehead. "love you" he whispered before closing the door.

I started taking my shirt off, and he stuck his head through the door.

"What now, Hyunjin-ah?" I laughed

"Two things... First, you look fucking hot in that bra. And second, you didn't say it back" he pouted.

"So clingy" I said, rolling my eyes, and he accentuated his pout. "Love you too, pabo"

"Enough for me. Get on your knees," he joked. "I mean, get ready."

"I'm trying." I smiled, took everything, and went to the bathroom.

Part two

[fruitcoops]

hi!! been loving all your fics lately 😍

I’m wondering if you’d have fun writing something where logan and sirius (and talker? someone else?) are playing video games with the headsets on and talking to each other and then somebody steps away and accidentally leaves the headset on and the other two overhear stuff with the boyfriend(s) 👀

could be coops or o’knutzy or both, could be before everyone knows about whichever relationship or after, or both!!

Silly fluff on a Thursday! Utterly non-spicy, too :) Character credit goes to @lumosinlove!

“Fucker.”

“From the bottom of my heart—and know that I mean this with every bit of my soul—I hope you die.”

“Oh, sh—fuck, sorry guys.”

For just a moment, their dismay harmonized. The sounds of battle ceased and the screen went dark.

Sorry, You Died.

“I mean, maybe if you two didn’t discuss half your plans in French…”

“Woah, woah, hey, come on,” Logan protested over Sirius’ indignance. In the small icon to the far right, Thomas raised his hands with a look that distinctly lacked apology.

“This is aggression against Canada,” Sirius scoffed. “Classic Americans.”

“Aggression against Canada?” Thomas spluttered.

“Yeah,” Logan chimed in, adjusting his headset over one ear as he reached for a handful of chips. “That. Totally.”

“Tremzy, if you eat those into your headset, I will crawl through the screen and suffocate you.”

Logan narrowed his eyes at Sirius’ video square and made sure his microphone was in prime position to capture the deafening CRUNCH that followed.

Twin groans answered; Thomas removed his headset with a fake gag. “That just echoed across my living room, you little weirdo,” Sirius grumbled.

“Get a headset like the rest of us, lame-ass.”

“It’s worse that way,” Thomas chimed in.

“I told you,” Sirius continued with a whine Logan wished the press could hear before lauding him as some solemn superhero. “It was supposed to be here today.”

“Oh, yeah?” Logan said mockingly, just because he could. “Where is it, then?”

Sirius groused a little more under his breath; the sound of aggressive clicking followed as he moved his character over to whale on Logan’s for a few seconds. It didn’t damage his XP too much, but Logan filed that away for later. Somebody wasn’t getting his extra tincture of healing at the next checkpoint.

The Field of Regeneration was further from their goal than he would prefer—it had taken them an hour and a half to get to the mountains the first time, but he had faith that the fourth time would be the charm. There was a saying about that, he thought. Something like it. He rolled his ankles under the coffee table as their characters moved over the hills in a pack, bracing his arches against the table leg for a better stretch. His toes popped and he grimaced; they really hadn’t moved much today. Then again, early summer was made for lazy days in front of the television with his friends.

Sirius swung by the boulder pile and collected the healing kits the same as before. Logan didn’t bother waiting for him—they had been though this section enough that he could catch up on his own. He had promised Leo they’d reach a stopping point by 6:30, anyway, and there was no chance he would pick video games over acting as a sous chef, paid in kisses.

The chirps faded as they made their way past challenges that had once been world-ending. Logan was glad they weren’t dragging this out longer, too focused on reaching the checkpoint to fuck around. It was one of many reasons he would choose Sirius and Thomas for weekend games over anyone else; they had fun, but they knew how to settle down and win.

Logan grimaced. Hockey brain was supposed to be banished until at least July.

“Let us know when your setup gets here, Cap.” Thomas’ voice startled him; he barely avoided stumbling into a ravine.

“Ouais, we’ll give it a test run.”

They were coming up on the edge of the forest, now. Logan swapped his inventory around and carefully sidestepped the spike trap he had (unfortunately and with great embarrassment) fallen for the second time around.

Sirius’ mouth twitched. “Hey, Tremz, watch your—”

“Shut up, god, I hate you so much.” Their digitized snickering filled his ears and he made sure to be on solid ground before freeing a hand to flip them the bird. “I’ll go call Sunny and Kuns to play instead. See if I care.”

“Don’t you have two boyfriends within arm’s reach at all times?”

Logan rolled his eyes. “They are on a date, if you must know. And Leo hates character games.”

“Ew, you know what kind of video games they like?” Sirius teased.

“Aren’t you literally married?”

Thomas skipped past a cursed runestone and reclined back in his seat. “I think we can all agree that I’m winning here.”

“If you were here in person, I would throw something at you for that,” Logan informed him. Did it matter that he was greatly looking forward to having Thomas around for Christmas in a few months? No. Not here, not now, not while he was within chirping range. The very lenient penalty for dating his sister had been clear from the start. Logan couldn’t let him get too comfortable.

The greatest threat to achieving their goal appeared just as they reached the base of the mountains. Logan was feeling so proud of their quick time before that.

“Which game?” Remus asked from the corner of Sirius’ frame, unloading his pockets on the side table.

Sirius tilted his chin up for a kiss to the cheek, like he had no respect for Logan’s poor, innocent eyes. “Legendborn, with T and Tremzy.”

Remus hummed. He tugged at the collar of Sirius’ shirt with one finger, biting at his lower lip. Logan’s stomach dropped through the fucking floor. “Want to come upstairs for a bit?”

“NO!”

Remus flinched hard at the resounding shout from three different voices, then burst out laughing; Sirius reddened faster and more vibrantly than Logan had ever seen. “Dear god, Loops!” Thomas sounded downright scandalized. “The man doesn’t have a headset! Give us some grace! Some warning!”

Logan wrenched his microphone closer to his mouth with a clumsy hand. “You’re paying for my therapy, Lupin.”

Remus managed to pull his face from Sirius’ shoulder long enough to stumble through part of an apology before breaking down into laughter again. “Fuck—my bad, my bad, I didn’t realize.”

“Clearly!”

“Keep your husband under control, Captain!”

Sirius turned a lecherous smile on them, then caught Remus by the front of his shirt and pulled him down to lick a long, wet, horrendous stripe up his cheek. Logan threw his controller aside and flopped backward on the couch, hands over his eyes, as hysterical laughter and Thomas’ spluttered protests filled his ears.

“I thought you two would finally be normal and boring after you got married,” he groaned, sinking deeper into the cushions. Sirius, the menace, was damn near cackling. “Can you stop being freaks about each other for two fucking seconds?”

“Nope!” Remus said cheerfully. “It’s state-sanctioned now, actually.”

“Marital bliss,” Sirius agreed. “You’re just jealous.”

Logan peeked through his fingers and found Thomas shaking his head. “T, if I ever lick one of my boyfriends, I want you to take me out behind the rink like Old Yeller.”

“Jealous,” came Sirius’ singsong answer. Remus made himself comfortable with his chin on Sirius’ head, grinning madly.

Losers, the both of them. Lame and sweet and married to a nauseating degree. God, Logan couldn’t wait for his turn. Preferably, though, it would wait until after he had logged off.

[dyakojaythedevil]

UNSCHEDULED obsession | Part 2

Pairing Fem!Reader x Choso | Geto | Mahito

Warning Reader is half curse and 120 yo | Slightly Smut (It's basically just Mahito feeling you up..)

Check Part 1 here...

Enjoy the dirty time ;)

"Ugh..." your voice broke in the middle of your hurt whimper. You opened your eyes, pupils wandering around in darkness as memories hit you. "That son of a.."

You stepped out of the bed and towards the door, which to your surprise, wasn't locked. Oh, wait a minute. Why should he bother to lock you in when we had such control over you? He could just kill you with thinking about it. Each of them could.

With an annoyed sigh, you left the room. Lights were off and the scene out of the windows announced that it was night, pretty late in night as it seemed. The whole house was drowned in silence, and you didn't break it

.With slow and soundless steps, you passed the other two bedrooms and headed to the living room. You stood there for a minute, staring deep into air as your thoughts started to sound louder than you liked

.You couldn't just give into their -Geto's- wish. Well, not even a wish, it was more of a demand. As one of the strongest curses of all, you couldn't tolerate to be these weirdos' puppet. You were always in charge of Jujutsu sorcerers, playing with their mind and heart, and deciding wether they should keep their strength or nah.

Well, all of that was possible with your heart. A huge part of your cursed energy and technique was sealed away with it. With your heart beating in your chest just like it should've, you could do as much as stealing someone's cursed technique all to yourself, turning them into a normal human with no Jujutsu abilities. But now...

"Fuck those Zenins!" You growled under your breath, fists tightening at sides of your body. You had to find it. You had to find your heart and get back to the powerful state you deserved. With all the cursed techniques of unfortunate sorcerers you've cursed before inside your heart, there was no way Geto and his mates could stand their ground against you.

"That's the face of fury I like to see on people!" The unfamiliar voice made you jump in place. You guarded up, your eyes searching around in the dark for the source of that voice. A laugh echoed and you heard foot steps. A shadow came closer until you could see different eye colours, with stitches designing his face.

"You weren't running away, now were you?" Mahito chuckled as he stopped right infront of you. You let out a sigh and let your guard fall as you knew there was no use of it against that man. The curse reached a hand, starting to play with the end of your hair, wrapping it around his finger. "Why are you up now? It's 5 a.m. You should sleep more to gain strength."

"Don't worry. Being knocked out by Geto gave me enough strength." you snapped in a whisper, and snapped his hand away. Mahito raised an eyebrow in slight annoyance by your reaction. And you immediately felt something tighten in your chest.

"What was that now, human?" mahito whispered, a pleased smile on his face. You shot a couple of curse words to him internally but didn't say a word. His both hands reached again, this time sitting on your shoulders, squeezing slightly.

"I'm a curse-"

"Not fully." Mahito cut you off. His hand started to wander on your skin, one moving down to your arm and wrist as the other one found its way towards your neck and through your hair. "You're just half curse. The other half is human, am I right?"

You didn't answer him, just standing in annoyance with a deep frown on your face due to his touch, which made you feel getting far and futher from safety by every passing second. His touch was rather soft, almost like a caring love partner adoring your form. Fingertips moved on your skin smoothly, leaving goosebumps behind.

"Don't wanna know about my cursed technique? Maybe then you can give me that terrified face I'm anticipating to see so much." Mahito said. His lidded eyes glimsed once again, as if he was feeling a source of pleasure in that very moment.

As you stayed silent, the young curse licked his lips and decided to answer without you asking, "I touch the soul and reshape it." Just as he was finished, you felt something, something from inside you. you froze in place, losing ability to move in the slightest. He should've done something to you, that was for sure, just like Geto. You hated these jerks.

"I really wanna see you change.. but I'm afraid your cute little human form can't tolerate it." The young man whispered with a chuckle. When he stepped back, you took a deep breath. You didn't even realize when you stopped breathing.

"By the way, I heard you talking about Zenins. What are you planning to do to them?" Mahito asked as he bounced on a couch, making himself comfortable. You decided to stay where you were and crossed your arms infront of your heaving chest. "Is it any of your business?"

"Of course, we're teammates, remember?" You truely wanted to make that psychotic smile disappear from his face. You couldn't though.. not just yet. As he spoke once again, his words caught your attention, "And I also had a suggestion for you, since there's no way for you to be the strongest curse again unless you get rid of some kids."

You cocked an eyebrow, lowering your arms as your stepped closer. "What you mean by that?" You saw him smirking as you asked.

Mahito patted the empty space beside him. You rolled your eyes but you obeyed his unmouthed request anyway. As you sat down beside him, Mahito turned to face you, and his hands reached for you again. This time, you grabbed his wrists though, stopping him before he could touch you.

"Would you stop touching me up like a rapist? I haven't accepted your conditions yet." Your tone was stren but it didn't stop him from freeing his hands and plaing one on your clothed thigh.

"What other choice do you have? It's work with us or die, and you don't sound like someone who's planning a suicide." Mahito let out a psychotic but quiet laugh. His hands started to squeeze a bit harder, not in a painful way, but just in a way that you could feel every brush of his fingertips better. "And I'm just fascinated by the shape of your soul. It's different. Rather... curious."

You decided to show no reaction to his perverted reflect on your shape. You didn't bother to snap his hands away as well. If you felt like his touches were getting to really personal places, you could do something about it then, or at least, you wish you could.

"What was that you were talking about earlier?" you asked curiously. Mahito kept his eyes on your form as he answered, "Sukuna is back, you see. There's this kid in the Jujutsu High, Itadori Yuuji, whose body seems to be able to tolerate Sukuna Ryomen's cursed energy and host him."

Each word added to the tightness in your stomach as well as the depth of your frown. Mahito's hands were now sneaking under the loose sleeves of your kimono, craving to touch your skin instead of that cloth. "With him being around, no one would regard you as the strongest anymore."

"God damn it. How could that mother fucking Geto not mention that we're fighting against The King of Curses when he was telling me about his plans?" You could kill that man, really! Mahito was too engaged in feeling you up to answer right after. It took him a couple of minutes to find the words to express, "Because that's not a part of the plan."

"Hey! I think that's enough." You said in an annoyed tone as he attempted to slid the collar of your kimono aside to slid his hand under it. "Why? I can feel how your body's reacting to it. Doesn't that feel good?" His last words were suggestive, his grin deepening as his fingers brushed sweetly against your neck and collarbones despite your earlier disapproval.

You didn't say anything, cause you couldn't disagree. It did feel good to be touched like a loved one again, to be adored. And unlike Geto, Mahito's touch was sweet, caring, even though you knew it was not in reality. Mahito took that silence as a sign to keep going. He unwrapped the kimono, just a bit, to have more space. One hand moved down your body in a slow pace that gave you a pleasing shiver.

"As I said before, I can see and feel the shape of your soul and body. So I know there's something going on inside you, down your stomach." His words held a shameless tone in them, still making the coil in your stomach tighten further. You bit on your bottom lip as a finger brushed against your perked nipple. "And if I didn't have that technique, I could still take a guess by the way you've been rubbing your thighs together."

Your muscles clenched and you let a shaky pant leave your parted lips as he pinched your nipple slightly hard. The sky was starting to get lighter in colour, announcing that the sun is soon to show up. And you were starting to feel more than just goosebumps in react to Mahito's touch.

You leaned towards him slightly, which made the curse chuckle to himself, sliding his other hand between your squeezing thighs. You gripped at his wrist, but not to rip it off you, just to have something to dig your nails into as pleasure started to get more into your brain.

A part of your brain, though, was still focused on your conversation and the suggestion he was talking about earlier. So in the middle of enjoying his fingers playing with your nipples, you managed to moan out in curiousity, "And what does that have to do with my revenge from the Zenin?"

"What are you doing?" The sleepy voice ripped the pleasuring scene apart as you jumped in place. As you turned your gaze, you saw Choso standing in the entering of the kitchen. A confused frown was designing his face, and his long black hair was down to his shoulders. His eyes wandered between you and Mahito, whose hands were still under your kimono. "Why are you touching her like that...?"

Mahito let out a loud laugh and stood to his feet, the warmth of his hands staying on your skin for a couple of more minutes as he walked to his mate. "I'm the one who was born a month ago, but you definately have more things to learn, innocent Choso~"

Choso was looking rather confused, as if waiting for more explanation, which he didn't get. Instead, the whole topic was thrown into forgetfulness as footsteps could be heard from the bedrooms.

"Mahito, you're too loud for fuck's sake!" Geto nagged, words coming out from between his greeted teeth as he passed the other two to get to the kitchen. You readjusted your kimono before joining them. Mahito was just sitting behind the desk while Choso seemed to be trying to cook something for breakfast. Geto just turned the electronic kettle on before walking back to his bedroom. You followed him in silence, standing in the doorway as the man opened his closet to choose clothes.

"Going somewhere?" You asked with a low tone. He didn't bother to even look at you, just choosing a black set of suit and button-up shirt. "I have to work, since we have to at least look like a normal family or whatever." He explained simply as he started to change.

When he took off his T-shirt, which he put on for sleep, you turned your gaze away. "We need to talk more about the plans. I still don't know anything about your real intentions and details on what you guys want to do in Jujutsu High."

Geto cocked an eyebrow at you, the corner of his lips sliding up slightly in a smirk. "I'll take that as 'Idon't wanna die, so I'll obey you'. And we will talk after I came back from work."

He adjusted his clothes on his body and did his hair in a neat and tight manbun behind his head, which made him look more like a gentleman than the jerk you knew he was. Geto walked to the kitchen once again, you following him around like a lost child. As the man made himself a cup of coffee, you added, "I wanna know everything, Geto. It's the only way I agree to double your techniques."

"As a reminder, you didn't really have a say in that anyway." The man said with a sadistic chuckle as he walked to the main door. "But we will still be mates, nonetheless, so I will tell you the plan. Don't worry about it." By the end of his sentence, he handed you his cup to put on his shoes.

"Oh~ and by the way, be ready for when I'm coming back home, pretty thing," Geto started, his smirk widening as he took his coffee back. He slid to fingers under your chin to make you look at his lidded eyes as he leaned a little towards you to whisper, "I'm looking forward to try your doubling technique tonight!"

Author's Note Here's part two bc I wanna get to the exciting part more quickly ;) And thank you all so much for your likes on Part 1, that was heartwarming ^^♡

And just as a reminder, I'm not native, so please tell me if you found any grammar mistakes, typos, etc. so I can correct them :)

I'll try my best to upload Part 3 as soon as possible. Leave a comment if you wanna be mentioned on the next part @_@

[majimasleftasscheek]

Hi, im very sorry if this has already been answered or established somewhere else but im curious, with your Kazumaji stuff, around what time did they start dating (i.e. after the events of Yakuza 0 and all that) and how?

tbh, I dunno!

I don't really have an established date for that cuz sometimes I'm like man they'd be really cute during y0 and then other times I set it between post y0 and the beginning of y1. The latest they would start me thinks is some months after the events of y1 but in general it sorta depends on how I'm feeling and what silly scenarios play in my head

ideas under the cut tho 👀

if we're talking y0: I like to think Kiryu has to go to Sotenbori for some reason, be it business or he's there with Nishiki for some partying. he sees Majima at the Grand being depressed and is like "damn girl those bags under your eyes makes my dick go *boing sound effect*" and asks him out 🥺 Kiryu gets rejected immediately cuz Majima's in this cycle of 'I deserve nothing but pain and suffering' but Kiryu can't read the room so he is persistently showing up at the Grand despite Majima very obviously wanting to kick his ass. eventually he relents and goes on cute™ dates with Kiryu and realizes oof maybe human intimacy be kinda gucci

if between y0 and y1: Majima's fresh in his mad dog era starting shit with people just to be annoying and Kiryu's one of his targets mainly due to the events of y0. he's kinda like "lol this goober really did some important plot stuff, huh?" and his curiosity gets the better of him because Kiryu is an enigma who eats bugs and Majima cannot suppress his need to get some sense of understanding on this weirdo. in this timeline, it's more one-sided affection from Majima that comes in the form of stabbing while Kiryu is desperately trying to fight the gay allegations and failing. eventually he caves but it's a sorta unofficial, on and off thing that Kiryu doesn't really know how to evaluate for himself. Majima doesn't really care what they are since he's high on life atm and has a cute dude with big boobs on his arm

if during y1: literally just everything Majima Everywhere. Goromi. GOROMI 😩💦 Kiryu is all: I LIKE PUSSY but everyone's like okay big man then why's Majima pole dancing for you huh. the two braincells he has start to click and he realizes maybe Majima wants to hold hands or something unthinkable like that. ngl I like to think Kiryu's thing for Yumi is like a demisexual bi thing where he's like, I do love her but she don't zap my brain quite like the bowlcut freak who knows how to punch me real good and it becomes sorta his personal introspective journey during this time. Majima is also floating in the space of am I doing this for his benefit cuz "training" or am I falling for this dork. he's pretty sad about it cuz of the Saejima reminder vibes but eventually Kiryu falls into his own person that Majima really meshes with and the two of them struggle to actually voice how they feel all the while their pants are down in some dirty alley

if after y1: (going to insert shit from a fic I'm working on) Kiryu's absolutely devastated with what happened in the Millennium Tower + now having to take care of Haruka that he's shut himself off from everyone and everything other than doing the bare minimum to live. in comes Majima being a menace like yo you can't like, let a child parent herself you gotta get outta this slump and Kiryu's all fuck you stop breaking into my house. so it's a long pain in the ass process to help Kiryu deal with his grief while Majima keeps unintentionally making googoo eyes at him and both of them are like boy I sure hope this doesn't awaken anything within me. there's also a lotta dadjima stuff going on and Kiryu's like wowie zowie so you do have a heart and Majima's like no way loser while being just 😳👉👈

[flownwrong]

happy wincest wednesday, my successful bud! (i'm sending this now but feel free to answer whenever, or never, or next wednesday, idk.) I've heard much comparing Ray and Dean, but what about Fraser and Sam? Are there elements of the wincest relationship that are echoed in the Canadian King & the Mountie? your thoughts appreciated 🙏

happy wincest non-wednesday z!!! thanks for such a delightful question, i always want to talk about this!

well, let's start with how Sam and Fraser are both self-sufficient. they go through a lot of fairly traumatic experiences from an early age. they both lose their mothers, and both are left with absent fathers who have a Quest—Revenge and The Job—and an Expectation of their sons. Fraser moves a lot as a kid, and through being super smart, getting raised by old-fashioned grandparents in relatively desolate areas and inheriting the Quest ends up alienated from his peers, and that sucks massively for a kid, but ultimately, as the years go by, his introverted ass is doing just fine keeping others at arm's length. he's also full of anger at many a circumstance of his life, especially when his father gets killed and he exiled to the US in the pilot, but, unlike Sam, he keeps it under lock until severely provoked. he isn't just a weirdo to Americans, he's a weirdo in the weirdo lands as well. he does need to be seen, known, and loved by someone who really gets him, but he's perfectly functional without it and he isn't holding his breath for it.

his loneliness does get the better of him a few times in the show, though, e.g. he has a Ruby-esque arc. Victoria is a criminal femme fatale who Fraser ends up chasing, protecting from the elements with his own life, then turning in. she's perceptive af and appeals to the wilder core of him, which makes it easy for her to use him. she turns his iron-clad ideals against him and then makes him abandon them (holy fuck), which almost costs him and those he holds dear life and freedom. Fraser doesn't get to collaboratively stab her, but he gets dramatically shot by his first Ray in a moment of ultimate surrender (deciding to escape with her after she killed people, framed people, stole shit, burned down his father's fucking cabin), so i'll take the win.

the impressive thing is that he doesn't outwardly change much, after. he gets over it with the help from his best friend who sticks with him, and he's fine. he gets to keep doing what he has and wants to do and he gets to get better and he gets to reckon with who he is and grow into a more mature, less angry version of himself.

Fraser also often performs masculinity in ways similar to Sam: he isn't chasing machismo and is kind of impossible to emasculate (hence he's doing absolutely great in the drag episode! it's fun for him! there's no threat!) but he's very much A Guy and A Stoic who sucks at expressing or decoding emotions. we get some objectification with him, and sometimes it's let's zoom in on his vulnerable movie star face or beat him up and put some bandages on his naked torso or make him walk around in a towel, but often it's in-universe look how sexy this dude is, everyone is tripping over their feet to climb him (fair). he demonstrates a spectrum of reactions from mortification to barely concealed disgust in response, but ultimately just shakes it off. the show honestly offers a chance to headcanon his sexual experience in any way from "close to virginity and repressed" to "he Fucks but it isn't a priority, he just doesn't want most people", and my preference is the second one.

he's very utilitarian when it comes to his body and looks as well (barring Regulation. of course, the Regulation). he enjoys junk food but will eat whatever keeps him going, he cares about exercise as long as it keeps him at top performance, he can live in a bare concrete room with little discomfort, etc. it's especially obvious near RayK lol who really is very like Dean in this regard.

now, to the relationship. we get the two big tragedies of Fraser in focus in s1-2. enter s3. by then, Fraser is almost comfortable with the state of his life: he has a home in Chicago he seems actually happy to get back to from his whimsical mountie vacation the season opens on, and he has his only friend. only, uh oh, he gets back to find his home burnt down and his friend gone with no explanation and no goodbye. to add insult to injury, there's a very pretty, very insecure, very charismatic dude pretending to be said friend, and everyone, including the original Ray's family, seems to be either in on it or gone insane because they don't blink an eye and expect Fraser to follow suit.

within 1.5 episodes we find out that, bafflingly, the new Ray is 1) ready to risk his life with and for Fraser (to be fair, so was the first Ray from the get-go) and b) somehow in a deeper emotional hole than Fraser. see, Fraser loses a lot, but he's unflappable, and he doesn't lose himself after that one horrible failure, while RayK ties most of his self-worth and self-perception to his relationships, and is fiercely committed to them, and doesn't seem to have many meaningful attachments beyond his The One. and he's just lost his marriage to The One he had for like 20 years, The One he thought was for life. and he now has to be another guy with nobody missing the actual him. so, uh oh.

this is how Fraser flips from being the main vessel of angst in s1-2 to the resident wall to lean on for this guy who just can't keep his guts in his body. RayK is brave and competent and compassionate and Always Does His Job Even Though It Costs Him, and Fraser shows up and, after some bristling, starts pointing all that out verbally and through actions, every time Ray falls apart. to Ray, Fraser isn't just a friend and a partner. he's a reminder that Ray isn't his violence or his failure as a son (in one episode, a father who disowned Ray years ago shows up at the station, and when a colleague tells Ray so, Ray thinks he's being pranked and tells him to quit it. twice) and a husband, and he's a beacon Ray can always use to come back to himself (beside a Classique moment in which Fraser actually calls Ray off like a dog in a moment of murderous rage, there's a maddening exchange in the finale when RayK thinks he's gonna lose Fraser, see below)

now, Fraser doesn't always trust himself either (see: Victoria), but it's different from Ray's crippling guilt over never being/doing good enough. Fraser perceives a fundamental flaw within himself, a capacity for evil he wants to keep in check (he's maybe 50% right, but so is Sam). in addition to iron spine, he has iron will. he has his armour (adherence to ideals that make him seem untouchable) and his sword (unmatched stubbornness). he can make people do things his way, mostly by annoying them into it, or sincerely inspiring them, or simply leaving them no choice but to follow him or leave him on his own, which, of course, the Rays don't do. but i feel like Fraser himself is surprised by the reciprocal need he feels for RayK, for being adored by him and accepted in all his freakishness and trusted implicitly (RayV offered him different comforts).

bc of that implicit trust thing, he and RayK have their Divorce. they come to blows and decide to part ways, and the heart of it is that Ray thinks Fraser (the smart one, the capable one, the morally superior one, the could-get-anything-he-wants one) doesn't need him, and Fraser thinks Ray (the one for whom Fraser is first choice, the one who's emotionally honest enough for both of them, the one he needs enough to be unable to easily go back to loneliness) doesn't want him. pathetic. Ray is genuinely surprised Fraser makes a choice to save his life in the middle of this conflict. Fraser is genuinely frustrated Ray takes his stubbornness personally.

they also go through a subtler but more painful mini-divorce when RayV comes back in the finale, leaving RayK fully convinced he's gonna get dumped and Fraser unable to even imagine RayK needs the opposite spelled out. RayK goes "so you'll go back to Vecchio now. I'm totally okay with that and need no reassurance". Fraser makes a very incompetent attempt at telling RayK he will always want him. RayK takes it as being let down easy. jesus god.

despite all that, most of the time they're fulfilling a common purpose in perfect tandem and will (try to) step between the other and things that seriously threaten or hurt him. and they genuinely like each other a lot, even when they don't get each other. they clearly spend most of their time off together by choice, they have a well-oiled shorthand banter machine going, they might snort at each other's interests but they will give it a go, they will call each other out for their respective freakishness and mean "thank fuck i have you by my side, nobody else is this cool".

plus—and here's my preference, anyway—i see their sexual dynamic this way: Ray is the feels guy, the can-be-easily-mortified guy, and the "okay, what, but if you're into it, I'm game" guy, while Fraser is (also the feels guy, absolutely, but) a bit wild and very good at gently being in charge and blindsided by just how much he wants Ray. he'd also be the one to Want Things, although it might get some work to get him to share with the class. there's also the size diff: while they're of the same height, Fraser has bulk while Ray is wiry af and can be overpowered by Fraser both visually and literally, and I think they both know this and find it compelling.

so here we have it. i absolutely overexplained it, but there's a similar mutual need that's sometimes misunderstood between them. they're unable to leave each other's orbit and willing to put things they can't give each other aside, they match each other's freak and deep-seated desires, and are quite wholesome when given the time and space to be so ;-; i feel like there's an overlap with some wincest joys.

p.s. Ray tells Fraser he loves him "like a brother" three episodes in. take that however your wincesty heart wants <3

[ceasarslegion]

The DNI that made you do math to use it?? 👀👀👀

Youre the first one who asked, so you get the answer.

This person was one of the other two weirdos from the Half Life RP discord server i teased at in this post earlier this week:

Once again, i want to disclaimer that this is not a callout post, I will not be giving any details that could be used to identify this person, and I will not be posting screenshots this time because they are still active on tumblr afaik. I dont want this to be used to bully anybody, this is just meant to be my personal experience with my specific side of this story. You can DM me directly or throw in a private answer request in an ask if you want screenshots, but only people i already know and trust not to cyberbully them will get a direct link to the DNI. The person in the story I linked is no longer active anywhere online, which is why I provided screenshots in that story.

And before i lay out the DNI details, I just want to say... there is a FINE LINE between requesting accommodations for a mental illness and infantilizing yourself. I can handle the former just fine, I will do all I can to help, but if you're a grown-ass adult babying yourself and then going "waa im autistic i cant do anything" i have ZERO tolerance for that. Buddy, I'm autistic, and I'm telling you to grow the fuck up.

Yeah, this person was one of those. They were over 18, and had public breakdowns about how everything was just soooo hard for them and everybody else was being problematic and ableist for *checks notes* asking them to wait in a line that was a little long for a new phone plan. Real example, they were screaming and crying in the vent channel because the line at a verizon store was a little long, and implying their father was ableist for asking them to wait for 20 minutes. Buddy, there are some things you JUST need to deal with in the real world regardless of whatever mental soup you have going on. If your autism is that bad, the solution is looking into things like noise canceling headphones, sunglasses, etc. But the world will not stop having lines that you just need to wait in sometimes because you dont like them.

I know that sounds harsh, but they werent exactly the type of person im willing to give the benefit of the doubt to. The majority of their problems were entirely their own fault, and they were clearly enabling and feeding the harder parts of their autism rather than doing anything in the way of learning to cope with it. I am terrified of spiders, like full on panic-inducing terrified of them, but I throw hands at them instead of running or freezing up. One time, I posted a photo of this gigantic-ass spider that was in my dorm room after I screamed and squashed it with my heavy duty winter outdoor patrol boots (im a security guard, not a cop, before anyone draws the wrong conclusion from that), and they proceeded to vague about me IN THE SAME SERVER about how problematic and insensitive i am for triggering their arachnophobia. My brother in christ when did you ever say you were triggered by spiders? Do you expect me to read your fucking mind?

Another instance was when they asked for the role to access the nsfw channel. They were over 18, so it was granted. They then got mad at us whenever we got horny on main in the sex channel because they were only there for the dirty jokes (that were posted in the main server anyway because none of us consider JOKES to be inappropriate). They literally asked for the sex channel role and then claimed we were being problematic because we talked about sex in the sex channel when they were uncomfortable with sex. And they had borderline puritan attitudes around sex. They acted like sex was icky and gross and should never be discussed around them lest it corrupt their pure innocent soul. Yeah thats your own fault chief, grow the fuck up.

Some lightning round stories: they broke up with their boyfriend purely because he liked "irredeemable media" and when said boyfriend said they were being a total dick for that, they proceeded to whine and cry that he was actually being abusive and terrible for being upset that he was dumped over the fucking movies he liked of all things. They once sat outside their little siblings recital and complained that their parents were problematic for not charging their switch enough because it died at the same recital they couldnt be assed to sit in for because "waaaa its too boring and thats bad for my autism." Didnt even TRY, just sat outside the door playing switch and then complained that their parents didnt charge their switch enough. Can you not plug something into a wall your damn self.

Needless to say, i didnt like them very much. I can handle legitimate accommodations, but they were just so self-infantilising that they gave the rest of us a bad name. Your autism is not an excuse to act like a fucking baby. You are not made of porcelain, you will not shatter at the slightest touch, being uncomfortable is a part of life youre going to have to deal with. Its not your autism at this point, youre a grown-ass adult who throws a tantrum when the line is a little long. GROW. UP.

Now that that rants over, lets get into what the DNI on their blog was like, because this behavior from them that I just outlined really contextualizes it.

Their DNI had two tiers. The first was "red flags," which meant that if you met any one of them you apparently werent allowed to interact. Of this included your typical nazis, pedophiles, terfs, and... beastars fans. No word of a lie. Being a fan of beastars was apparently just as bad as being a nazi. What did my boy legosi do to you? (Side note: i am forever enamored with how these people seem to think that theres people out there who both self-identify as nazis and would respect a DNI. I didnt even respect that DNI. I didnt interact with them because i thought they were a terrible person, but i did not take that DNI seriously. I was openly posting about beastars in the same server LMAO) and it wasn't just beastars, there was a ton of media that i didnt even know had discourse around them that they listed as red flags if you ever touched. Amazing.

The second tier was "yellow flags" which meant that you werent allowed to interact if you met any 3 or more of them. Here was mostly media, including homestuck fans, neil gaiman fans (WHAT DID NEIL DO TO YOU), and harry potter iirc. (WHY DID YOU SINGLE OUT BEASTARS?? WHAT DID MY BOY LEGOSI DO TO YOU) my favourite part of this though, was that republicans were listed under yellow flags. Apparently its worse to be a beastars fan than a republican. We arent gonna fucking make it

[229zmi]

UNO!

PAIRING: Tsukishima Kei/Reader

CONTENT: reader is Annoying, hinata makes a Ur Mom joke, reader calls tsukishima an egghead, dialogue-heavy, tsukishima and reader are rivals kinda

WORD COUNT: 1.5k

“Plus twenty? Twenty?” you bellow angrily. “You guys are conspiring against me, I just know it!”

Yachi offers what appears to be an apologetic look. “Sorry, [Y/N], you were about to win. What else were we supposed to do?”

“Let me win, obviously? The fuck is wrong with you.”

A tsk escapes you as you reach over the table and start pulling twenty cards from the deck in the middle in a particularly strained manner, like the action causes you immense physical and emotional pain. The group can only watch you with poorly concealed smiles behind their cards.

“It’s just a game, you weirdo,” Kageyama states as a matter of fact, as if he wasn’t prepared to flip over the table some rounds ago when the same thing happened to him. You pause in your movements just to sneer at him and his hypocrisy, your upper lip curling hideously.

However, before things start to turn violent, Yamaguchi, with some impressive prediction skills and reflexes, places a hand on your shoulder to stop you. Though you think the action wouldn’t have done much to stop you physically if you were seriously considering bopping Kageyama in the face, it’s the thought that counts anyway.

“[Y/N], just take the cards.”

“Yeah, [Y/N],” Hinata chimes in. You’re not sure why he bothered because what he said serves no actual purpose whatsoever besides further igniting your inner demons.

“Literally who asked you?”

“Your mother,” he responds intelligently. He even sticks his nose up like one of those high school bullies in the movies, all dignified and everything as if his baddie comeback is something to be proud of. It grates on your nerves more than anything.

“You can’t say that. My mommykins is, like, a super important government official.”

Hinata’s jaw slacks and his eyes widen to the size of very large ping pong balls, and like the gullible motherfucker he is — “Oh my god, really?!”

“Yeah, and she’ll have you, uhm, banished if I tell her you said that, doncha know.”

“Please don’t snitch on me, I won’t say it ever again. Promise!”

You smile passively. “Sure thing... for a price.”

“How m—“

“Put your fucking wallet away, you idiot,” Tsukishima interrupts, having already had enough of your bullshit since long ago. Hinata’s dumbassery was just the cherry on top. “[Y/N], you’re not funny.”

In response, you proceed to further prove his point by producing a noise that resembles that of a red buzzer from one of those Got Talent shows and then don’t say anything else. Unamused by your outwardly offensive action, he narrows his eyes at you, glaring at you as if your behaviour is something detrimental to his health — a disease that can be spread if he so much as accidentally brushes against your shoulder.

“…What was that?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?” you accuse.

“That doesn’t really answer my question.”

“I don’t care. What do you know about funny anyway? Egghead,” you add, for emphasis. All Tsukishima does is continue to creepily stare at you, almost scandalised like you’ve just annihilated his entire bloodline.

“Oookay. Let��s just move on!” Yamaguchi splutters with a singular glob of spit flying in the air from how fast he’s speaking. It’s gross, though he does sound a bit anxious, and that makes you feel kind of bad so you ignore it for his sake.

With an overdramatic sigh, you slump against the back of your chair in defeat as you glare at the numerous colourful cards in your hands. “Fine.”

The round continues without any other objections.

You’re about to win. And this time, you’re certain what happened a few rounds ago won’t happen to you again; all of you had just spent your plus two’s and four’s on Kageyama anyway (who did in fact end up flipping the table, although it didn’t really accomplish anything as much as it made a mess all across your living room floor).

“Uno!” you declare, gleefully placing your second to last card down with a dazzling smile.

“I wouldn’t sound so happy this early if I were you,” Tsukishima remarks. You shoot him a glare.

“You will let me win,” you say manipulatively, wiggling your fingers in front of him for the effect of what you believe is hypnotisation.

Unfortunately, he does not fall for your sneaky tactics, and it’s clear by his dry and disappointing answer: “No.”

Yamaguchi places a wild card in the middle and then looks toward everyone for some form of validation. “What colour?”

“Red,” you answer as if the question is for you.

Kageyama narrows his eyes at you. “Are you reverse psychology-ing us right now?”

“Whaaat, no! I don’t even know what that means!”

“That’s because it’s not a real word,” Tsukishima states in a haughty tone.

“Reverse psychology?” you ask. “That’s two words.”

“No, I mean—“

“Tsukishima! Tell us what [Y/N]’s last card is,” Hinata says in a not-so-discreet stage whisper. It doesn’t help either that the two of them are on opposite sides of the table, so everyone in between hears it. Including you.

“Literally what the eff, man, that’s literally cheating,” you protest in a nasally voice, but you’re completely ignored as everyone else seems to be more focused on Hinata’s unethical proposal.

“Why would I do that?” Tsukishima drawls.

“You’re sitting the closest to [Y/N]. C’mon, just take a little, teeny-tiny, itty-bitty peek!”

“If [Y/N] wins, we’ll never hear the end of it,” Yamaguchi comments. It’s meant as an astute observation rather than fuel to add to the fire, but letting you win would mean giving you the dangerous privilege that is bragging rights.

Kageyama nods in agreement. “Do it for the betterment of society.”

“For all of us,” Hinata adds. They’re all being a bit dramatic, you think.

Yachi stays silent, for the fear of potentially provoking a certain someone again.

Tsukishima rolls his eyes, his shoulders slumping with the weight of peer pressure. However, before you can process the situation or have time to defend the anonymity of your last card, you sense an arm snake around to rest upon the back of your chair. You whip your head to the side to see Tsukishima, who’s in closer proximity than you expected. Close enough that you can breathe in the scent of his cologne and note that it’s a little too strong to the point where it’s almost migraine-inducing.

Tsukishima only bothers to take a half-hearted glance at your card before fixating his gaze on you. His eyes, unblinking, noticeably skim your face without even trying to hide it, and you’re tempted to bark out an indignant “What?,” if only it wasn’t for the unusual expression he’s sporting. Unusual, as in his eyebrows aren’t furrowed together like they usually are whenever he’s in your vicinity, and his mouth is looser around the corners instead of downturned.

He appears as if he’s about to say something but then decides against it as he swiftly pushes himself away. Seeing how quick he was to get away from you, you wonder for a moment if your breath stunk or something.

“Green,” he then announces in a disinterested tone.

After you do a quick breath check and conclude that your breath does not in fact stink, you look down at your last card. It’s not green.

But the others have no way of proving that, so Yamaguchi takes the piece of knowledge, blindly accepts it as the truth, and chooses the colour red, believing that’ll stall your victory at least a little longer. However, much to your luck—

“I win!” you exclaim, slamming down your last card, and chaos ensues.

“NO!”

“Stinkyshima, you traitor!”

You hear the sound of a table flipping and another angry shout. In the midst of it all, your eyes meet Tsukishima’s once more. For a couple seconds, there’s a standstill that settles between the two of you as you wait for the other to speak up first.

“You’re welcome,” he says finally, making sure to really emphasise the words.

You scoff at him. “I totally could’ve won this on my own. I had a back-up plan. You just made it a tiny bit easier.”

With an eyeroll, his response is short and simple and strangely compliant, “Okay.” With how often he glares and rolls his eyes and whatnot, you’d think that’s all he does in his free time. Probably practices it in the mirror, too, to make sure he’s expressing the right amount of annoyance.

“But… thanks anyway,” you reluctantly add. You decide to be gracious and omit the you egghead part out of your sentence.

“You’re welcome,” he says again before visibly flushing at the realisation he’d just said the same thing twice. Awk-ward.

Nonetheless, instead of relishing in his moment of embarrassment like he thought you would, you grin and bump shoulders with him, as if the two of you are best buddies now or something. And quite frankly, after seeing you smile like that at him rather than your usual sneer or sleazy smirk, Tsukishima isn’t entirely against the notion.

[kpforpresident]

How are plant shop clexa enjoying summer?

"Ungf Lexa. Fuck. Please don't stop."

"I got you, baby."

"That feels so good-"

"What in the name of margaritas are you two little weirdos up to? Sounds like you're staging a porno in your living room."

Two surprised gazes, one blue, one green, turned from where they had been lovingly beaming at each other to meet Raven's inquisitive brown eyes in their doorway, spare key in hand with her eyebrows almost disappearing into her hairline.

"Rae, that key is for emergencies only!" An indignant, pink cheeked Clarke managed to squeak out from her face down position on the couch, wiggling slightly to adjust a lump in the terrycloth towel that covered the surface.

"This was an emergency!" Raven spluttered as she inched cautiously into the room, still unsure what her best friend and their partner were up to as Lexa wielded a clear bottle of goo while straddling a topless Clarke. "You weren't answering your phone, and you know I have to be there no later than 5:03 to get the best onion rings at that one happy hour. You promised."

Clarke blew forcefully upwards on an errant piece of hair that was stuck to her cheek, craning her neck best she could to make eye contact with Raven despite her position.

"I'm sorry, Rae- we were at the beach this morning and someone decided that cosmo's newest story of the 'science' behind a base tan was more important than their girlfriend's helpful suggestions to wear sunscreen- Clarke toasted herself today and I'm just easing her pain. Her phone is in the bedroom and we've been coating her in this shit for the past 45 minutes, neither of us heard the phone ring."

Lexa rolled her eyes slightly as she poured another heaping palmful of lube? hair gel? into her hands, warming it between her palms before reaching down to place her fingers gently on Clarke's back.

Raven walked further into the room to peer over the back of the couch, mouth dropping in abject horror when the usually porcelain expanse of Clarke's back came into view.

"Damn, C, it looks like you've been spit roasted over a barbeque."

"Thanks, Rae, I appreciate it. We're not all blessed with melanin and the ability to tan to a beautiful share of caramel, ok?" Clarke muttered darkly as she sat up slowly onto her knees, bringing the towel up to cover her front as Lexa scowled lightly, smoothing the last bits of aloe onto Clarke's angrily pink shoulders.

Raven hooted in disbelief as she surveyed the total expanse of Clarke's lobster red back, the clearly defined bikini link starkly white just under her shoulderblades.

"Nah, gringa, you're gonna peel. You're lucky Lexa loves you, since you'll be shedding like a snake the next few weeks." Raven shook her head while walking into Clarke and Lexa's shared room, rifling through their closet before walking out with a loose camisole in hand, nipple covers in the other.

"C'mon, dry your little aloe tears and let's go, this girl needs a frozen marg and I know you want those fried pickle chips things. The alcohol will dull the pain, I promise."

[mylifeasaserver]

The Dating Game

I've been on the record as stating dating coworkers isn't the best idea. Have I done it? Yes. Did I learn from my mistakes? Yes. Did my exes end up disappearing under mysterious circumstances learning from their mistakes? Hopefully.

Despite me being consistently in the same small room as these two they decided to give it a go, despite never once asking for or receiving my sage wisdom.

And for a couple months, it went fairly well. Then she discovered that he's a nightmarish weirdo and he discovered that she's chronically unhappy and still talks to her ex despite him clearly not wanting her to do that and her agreeing not to.

How do i know this? They keep having these sad catty fights in the pharmacy, the only place they see one another anymore.

And let me tell you, it's been great being me as they try to pit the pharmacy against the other one. I've gotten to hear about his tiny penis and her cavernous vagina, 3am secret phone calls and 3am porn binges. And for those of you that know me, there's absolutely nothing I enjoy more than being in the middle of stupid-ass drama that I could just as easily never even hear of - and thus stay happy.

Today was very busy for a Thursday, especially with two callouts. I had 150 fills, around 100 in input, 1 pharmacist who was swamped, a cashier borrowed from the store, and these 2 chucklefucks who started out actually working well together.

And then, seemingly at random, he decided to ask her if she was still talking to her ex. She retorted asking if he was still watching fetish pantyhose porn. It escalated from there.

Now normally, the pharmacist would put a stop to this shit, except this guy is very much anti-confrontation and would rather they murder one another than be mad at him.

Now while they're having this fight, struggling to keep the volume low enough to not alert the entire world there's shit going down, they're also masterfully avoiding answering the phone or doing anything else of real value.

My stress level started to rise. The pharmacist sighed aggressively. The cashier asked for help. The phone rang, and she made a pithy quip about him being single for 3 years before her. He made a comment about her having a barren, lifeless, toxic womb.

"Will you please shut the fuck up and do your job?"

They both looked at me, expectantly.

He asks me "You talking to her on that one?" and then he smiled like he just got the president of some small 3rd world country on his side.

"Both of you. You're both obnoxious and if I had any say in it I'd fire you both because you're more useless than the people who called out."

Well now they're mad at me instead of one another. I went up to help the cashier and let them strangle one another or plot against me or have freaky makeup sex conveniently by the antibiotics or whatever.

Neither one of them said another word to each other or me aside from a few work-related things. It was a peaceful 4 hours.

I look forward to my trip to H.R. for telling them to shut the fuck up. Also: I'm considering going back to restaurant work. It's still bullshit, but I got paid a lot more. -J

[mixelation]

I would love to see you rank Akatsuki by how shippable they are with Kakashi

oh my god. called out. but i will answer. CRACKS KNUCKLES

tbh this was kind of hard to write because even though i love akatsuki ships AND i love kakashi ships, there's not a lot of.... like..... easy/natural chemistry going on here??

least to most shippable

9. Zetsu - Does anyone ship Zetsu? No. Get out of here, Zetsu.

8. Pein - I think the connection here would be like. Similar Traumas (tm) and I know some people like this but I don't LMAO. That or missing-nin!Kakashi joins Akatsuki because he likes what Pein is selling philosophically, and it turns into one of those "loyal follower sets themselves apart in order for leader to notice them Romantically" which is another dynamic I know some like but I don't.

7. Kisame - Kisame is Chill For An Evil Villain and I think he'd admire Kakashi's philosophy of ninja who abandon their comrades being less than trash. He'd be annoyed but not lose his mind over some of Kakashi's more annoying traits. But, idk, this ship doesn't really have enough Spice for me.

6. Itachi - I like the fanon that Itachi and Kakashi were friendly in ANBU, and for a long time I liked the idea of them running into each other years later and reconnecting in a more shippy way. But I have rotated and rotated this and I cannot make it work in a shippy way. I've read some fics and they else seem to just not have.... a spark? a Spice? There's something missing. I just like them more with a platonic dynamic.

5. Sasori - There are some interesting parallels and contrasts and vague plot connections between these two, but oh my GOD is it hard to fit them all together in a compelling way. There's probably something in "Your father killed my parents and it fucked me up for life" vs "Yeah well, then he also killed my father and fucked me up for life" but you will have to work so hard to extract it. Sasori and Kakashi are antisocial weirdos in opposing ways and GETTING them to the point where you can do anything is so hard.

4. Kakuzu - Despite fighting each other, canon failed to produce any emotional connection at all between Kakuzu and Kakashi, which is unfair to us all. Kakuzu is ranked here because he's the first person on this list I can see getting into bed with Kakashi without the writer having to do a shit ton of work. Kakuzu fucks. Kakashi fucks. I think under the right circumstances they'd fuck each other. If I wrote it, I'd have a Catfishing AU where they're both trying to lure the other one out to collect Dat Bounty but they're doing it via the lonely hearts section of a newspaper. Anyway their public personas don't impress each other but once they switch to private letters they both realize they're both weird kinky freaks. Kakuzu WAS trying to catfish you in that he lying about his age and name and sent a fake photo, but somehow he was not lying about the tentacles.

3. Hidan - I think Kakashi and Hidan would make eye contact across a bar and then go hook up. I just think they're both like this. Maybe they run into each other again later and are like, "fuck it, why not?" It's a very straight forward relationship and both somehow miss all the ways the other one is completely unhinged. ALTERNATIVELY, Hidan thinking Kakashi's suffering and wallowing is so, so beautiful.

2. Deidara - Okay. Do you remember his "sees Itachi for the first time" face? I think Deidara would make this face at a raikiri. And as we all know, Deidara is at his cutest when screaming because someone is actively trolling him, and Kakashi loves trolling people. I don't think Deidara would be very impressed with Kakashi's dedication to a never ending mourning period, BUT I think there's room for interesting character growth on both sides here. Also I just think Kakashi should fuck him. As a little treat

I. Konan - Okay. Listen. My ideal Kakashi het ship is "weird damp man and woman who would crumple him up and wring him out like a paper towel." This is them. Kakashi literally only knows how to take care of his loved ones by going out and killing their enemies and Konan thinks this is so sweet. She doesn't NEED him to, but he does go out and kill people she hates and he's not even weird about it. Kakashi murdered more specific enemies of the Ame or Akatsuki than the Akatsuki. Very cute. Also they'd look good together. ALSO the pairing of her blank, judgmental stare and his trolly grin. Excellent vibes all around

BONUS RANKINGS:

Orochimaru (between Deidara and Konan) - They would hook up specifically for the psychic damage to everyone they know.

Obito (True Number One) - OBVIOUSLY. Rivals to friends to enemies to lovers! The mutual obsession! Bonus identity porn!

[canirove]

I don’t like you, Mason Mount | Chapter 14

Author’s note: And we’ve made it to the end! ☹️ Hope you like this last chapter and how everything wraps up, and as always, thank you very much to everyone who has been reading and supporting this story. It means a lot! 💜

Previous chapter

Masterlist

"Hi there, Daniela."

"Hello, Benjamin."

"You can start calling me Chilly, you know?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because that's a stupid nickname."

"Ok" he laughs. "And to think that this is one of the things Mase likes the most about you…"

"That I am honest?"

"Brutally honest."

"He's a weirdo" I shrug.

"Yes, he is" Ben chuckles. "Anyway, how does it feel to be back at Cobham?"

"Odd."

I hadn't been here since the day I met Mason, and now, two years later, I was coming back as his... girlfriend? We hadn't discussed it yet.

"He is really excited about it."

"Yeah... Where is he, tho? He said he would meet me on the lobby after training, but he hasn't showed up yet and most of your teammates have already left."

"I'm the last one, so now it'll be just the two of you. Enjoy" he says, giving me an envelope.

"What is this?"

"Open it and you'll find out. Merry Christmas, Daniela" Ben says as he leaves the building.

"Merry Christmas" I reply, opening the envelope. Inside it, there is a handwritten note.

"Welcome to the Mason Mount Cobham tour! I know you probably are rolling your eyes right now, dreading the thought of having me as your tour guide. But it'll be worth it, I promise. First stop, where we first met."

"And how am I supposed to get there, uh? Last time I was following someone and I didn’t pay much attention" I say to myself. But as I'm about to put the note back on the envelope, I notice that there is something else on the other side. A map.

"Thought I wouldn't give you a little help? I am the best tour guide ;)"

"Idiot" I chuckle as I follow his directions.

When I make it to the room where we first met, it is empty except for one thing: a life size cardboard of Mason standing in the middle of it.

"What the fuck" I laugh as I get closer, another envelope pinned on his chest.

"Two years ago, I saw you walking into this room, and couldn't keep my eyes of you. And it wasn't because you were joined by the girl with the orangest hair ever (Yes, I probably just made up that word.) You are gonna make fun of me, but I couldn't stop looking at you because you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Even if you were looking at me like you wanted to cut my balls. What I didn't know that day, was that you looked even more beautiful when you smile. Especially when I manage to make you smile and it is an honest one. On those moments, the sun pales in comparison."

"The sun pales in comparison? Yikes" I say. Is it the cheesiest thing he has ever said to me? It is. But somehow, it has put a stupid smile on my face.

"And because that day we didn't get a photo together, I thought we could recreate it today. I even chose a photo of myself where you can see my dimple ;) There is a Polaroid camera behind the other me. Grab it and take a photo. And don't give me a fake smile, give the one you currently have."

"How does he know?" I chuckle, doing as he says and picking the camera, another envelope next to it that says "do not open until you've taken the photo. No cheating."

After making sure there is no one around, I do as he said and take a photo with his cardboard version, smiling like he wanted. And because I can't help myself, I take another one kissing his cheek. Do I feel stupid? Yes. Very. But I know he will love it.

"Pick your photo, don't leave it there. The camera too. Next stop, the changing room" the other note says, another map drawn behind it.

"Mason?" I call when I walk in. But there is no answer. The room is empty except for a big box on a table, and envelope next to it.

"Here is your outfit for the rest of the tour. You MUST wear it, I'm serious. And take a selfie wearing it. You can put your clothes on the box, next instructions on my locker."

"You got to be kidding me!" I laugh after opening the box and I find one of his ugly tracksuits inside it. The “Frozen” one as I call it. It has the same colours as Elsa's dress, and the glittery blades on it look like snowflakes. But this one is my size. He bought me a freaking ugly tracksuit so we can match. "Why are you so cringy, Mason?" I say to myself while I start getting changed, not being able to stop smiling.

"I truly hope you are wearing your tracksuit. The tour can't continue without it. Next stop, the gym. Don't forget your photos and the camera!"

"Wait a minute" I say, stopping at the changing room's door. The room where we first me, the changing room, now the gym... Is he taking me through all the places where we were together that first day?

As expected, he isn't at the gym either. The only thing that looks out of place, is one of those basketball games you see at arcades, another envelope pinned on it.

"It's time to show your skills! You have a minute to get as many shoots as I did. Once you do it, take a photo and facetime me."

"This is easy" I say, putting down everything I'm carrying and picking a ball.

"Three, two, one... Shoot!" the machine says. When the minute is over, I've managed to get five more shoots than Mason.

"Hello you" he says when I call him.

"Hello."

"Let me see that outfit."

"I look ridiculous" I reply, moving the phone so he can see me.

"You look gorgeous. And we are matching!" he says, moving his phone to let me see that he is also wearing his. "Anyway, how many shoots did you get?"

"More than you did" I smile, showing him the machine.

"Nah, you are too good. Do you want your surprise?"

"Another ugly tracksuit?"

"There are clothes involved... Check the box under the machine."

"There was a box there?" I say, bending down. "I didn't see it."

"That's why I put it there" he smiles. "I'll leave you alone to open it. Meet you in a bit, ok?"

"Ok" I say, hanging up.

"Clothes first, tablet later" the note inside the box says.

Again, I do as Masons says and check the clothes. It is another tracksuit, also blue, but ten times nicer.

"No way!" I say when I see the logo on it. It is one of the tracksuits from Ricciardo's merch, the one I've been in love with for ages. How did he know about it? I never told him, did I? "Monica..." I chuckle when I realize who did know about it. Did they plan this together?

After admiring the tracksuit and how soft and cosy it is, I turn on the tablet. There only is a video on it.

"Merry Christmas, Daniela! Or Dani. Am I allowed to call you that? We almost are name twins, I think I'm allowed to call you Dani."

"Holy fucking shit!" I yell. That's Daniel Ricciardo. And he is talking to me. Me! He knows who I am!

"So, Dani. Mason has told me that Formula 1 is your favourite sport and that I am your favourite driver. First of all, thank you very much, it is an honour. Second, I'm sorry" he laughs. "I believe he got you one of my tracksuits as a little present? I'm sure you look amazing on it. Everyone does, to be honest, that's how good they are. And speaking of good things... Mason is one of the good ones. Not a thing, a person. So girl, Dani, my dear twin. If I may give you a piece of advice... Don't let him go, that boy is a catch. And no, I'm not saying this because he is a fellow big nose or because he has asked me to say it. This is all me after knowing everything he has planned for you today. He is crazy about you, you know? So don't be silly, ok? That's all I had to say. No, wait. I almost forgot. You must take a photo of your face right now, I believe you have a camera with yourself. And also send me one wearing the tracksuit! Yes, that was all. Merry Christmas, Dani!"

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Merry Christmas, Dani."

"I hate you."

"Then why are you smiling from ear to ear?" Mason asks.

"Because," I say, leaving all the stuff I've been carrying and leaving it on a table. "You also happen to be really cute."

"Am I?"

"Yep" I say, moving to where he is standing and putting my arms around his neck. "Very cheesy and cringy, but cute."

"Does that mean that you've liked your surprise?" he asks, hugging me back.

"I've loved it."

"It isn't over yet, tho. We still have dinner left" he says, nodding towards his right.

"Dinner will have to wait."

"Why?"

"Because now, all I want to do is kiss you. Is that ok or will it ruin your plans?"

"I'll survive" he says with a cheeky smile that shows his dimple.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"What was your favourite part?"

"Ricciardo's message, obviously. How did you manage to get him to film it?" I ask Mason while we have dinner. The cantine was the last stop of his tour, just like on the day we met. And like that day, we are eating together, the super duper healthy food nowhere to be found.

"I told you I knew Lando. They were teammates, so I ask him for a favour and..." he shrugs.

"Thank you. Seriously. Best gift ever."

"Even more than the Frozen tracksuit?" he chuckles.

"Anything could be a better gift than this" I say, looking down at my clothes. Though I must admit they are very comfy.

"What did he say?"

"Who?"

"Ricciardo. What did he say on the video?"

"You don't know?"

"Nope. Landon told me not to watch it, so I made Chilly watch it just in case, and he didn't let me watch it either. Was he naked or something?"

"What? No" I laugh.

"Then what did he say?"

"That's between my name twin and I" I smile.

"Yeah... Anyway, are you ready for your last surprise?"

"There is more?"

"The most important bit" he says, getting up from his chair and offering me a hand. "Come."

"Is it gonna be super cheesy?"

"The cheesiest."

"I will hate it, won't I?"

"Hopefully not" he says, stopping in front of the Christmas tree that they have at the cantine. "That present is for you."

"Another shirt like two years ago?"

"Maybe."

"A photo album?" I say after unwrapping it.

"Yes. One where you can put the photos you took today, and hopefully all the photos we will take together or of each other from now on. Dani, I..." he says, biting his lower lip and making me want to do the same.

"You...? C'mon Mount, spill it."

"I... God. I had rehearsed this part many times, and now I can't find the words" he chuckles. "Let's make it simple. Dani, do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure? You don't have any doubts?"

"I don't, no. I'm done with that. With having doubts and being too afraid to accept my feelings for you."

"You have feelings for me?" he asks with a teasing smile. "I thought I was a weirdo with horrible style, too cheesy, definitely not as charming or handsome as I think myself to be, an idiot, overrated as a football player... Am I missing anything?"

"Just a few things. Like the fact that you can be super cute like today has proven, that you care a lot about people and especially those you love, that you are always lovely with the fans, have a dimple, are an amazing lover..."

"An amazing lover, uh?" he says, hugging me by the waist.

"It is what it is" I shrug.

"Is it official, then? Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"I do, Mason. I want to be your girlfriend."

"Even if you hate me?"

"Even if I hate you" I laugh.

"Merry Christmas, Dani."

"Merry Christmas, Mason" I say before he kisses me, hugging the photo album against my chest and already thinking about all the memories we will be putting there.

Because turns out that the stupid football player I met two years ago, wasn't that bad after all. In fact, he was the best of them all.

I like you, Mason Mount.

━━━━❃━━━━ FIN ━━━━━❃━━━━

[aurumacadicus]

For @winterironmonth!

NSFW Saturday: Trope/Kink, Word, Dialogue

The villain Iron Man and the hero Winter Soldier put on a great show of trying to kill each other on the battlefield. Little do people know that it’s foreplay. It’s fade-to-black sex but just know that Tony is a winner in all ways, even after Bucky escapes. Look out for under the cut!

--

“I won,” Tony purred as the armor began to peel open.

Bucky rolled his tongue around his mouth, cataloguing all the cuts he’d gotten during their fight that were still stitching themselves together with the serum—his body worked more on the major injuries first than something minor like that. “The silver armor is stupid.”

“Unlike you, I’m always willing to try out new palette.” He glanced down at the silver armor sloughing off of him, then narrowed his eyes at Bucky again. “I look good in everything.”

“You look best in your flight suit and nothing else,” Bucky replied honestly.

Tony scoffed, putting his hands on his hips as he glared at him in disbelief. “That could have been so sexy, but you want to be a sassafras.”

Bucky eyed him skeptically, twisting his hands slowly where they were cuffed together over his head. “I don’t think you know what sassafras is.”

“Like some sort of herb or something?” Tony answered blithely, not caring. His eyes glowed blue for a moment. “A tree. Oh, it’s dangerous. And of course they used it in root beer. Maybe that’s why you are the way that you are.” He tapped his finger to his chin. “Although that just makes it a good nickname for you, doesn’t it? Dangerous. Thick. Outdated.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Bucky said.

Tony raised an eyebrow at him, crossing his arms over his chest with an amused smile. “Yeah? You sure you’re in a position to do that?”

Bucky rolled his tongue around his mouth again. The cuts were healing. He took a moment to take stock properly—he was in the room Tony had built to contain the Hulk, hands cuffed together, the long chain threaded through a loop of metal implanted in the ceiling. His toes barely grazed the ground, and as he took account, he realized all of his weapons had been divested of him. He’d kept the tac gear, though. Fucking weirdo, he thought, and ignored the fact that even in his head, there was a fondness to it.

Tony sloughed off the rest of his armor with a wet noise, leaving him in nothing but his flight suit. The black fabric clung to his body, which gave Bucky pause. Tony typically had a nano-suit. It gave him more control. The fabric one was obsolete, he remembered Tony saying once.

Bucky jerked his arms down, stunned, as he realized he knew exactly why Tony was wearing his fabric flight suit. Only Tony would be romantic enough to celebrate the anniversary of their first fight by wearing something he knew Bucky couldn’t keep his hands off of.

“Hey,” Tony began, outraged, as the links of the chain that had been holding him scattered across the resin floor. Then he scowled, crossing his arms thoughtfully as he rubbed at his mouth. “I was sure those had enough vibranium alloy.” Then he realized Bucky was quickly approaching with long, deliberate strides, and he flung his hand out quickly for a gauntlet to form, backing up two steps for Bucky’s every one. “I won the fight,” he began, just a touch of franticness to his voice as he swung his arm up, gauntlet whirring.

Bucky caught his wrist in his metal hand and used the grip to push Tony back further, following him with barely any space between them as he finally pinned him to the wall. He squeezed until the metal under his palm began to crack, the blue light in his palm sputtering loudly before dying with a soft squeal. He allowed Tony to pull his hand back before slamming it back into the wall, just to make sure it was broken.

“Stop breaking my suit,” Tony hissed, glaring at him, and lifted his other hand. “I was being so nice to you, see if I ever am again—”

“There is no such thing as a nice murderer,” Bucky huffed, catching his other wrist to slam into the wall, then leaned in, crushing Tony’s mouth with his own and biting down on Tony’s lower lip. Tony let out a soft grunt, and he bit harder, until Tony let out another noise, softer, more complaint than anger. Tony was a terror, could easily use Extremis to gain back the upper hand—but he was also sentimental, wearing clothes he knew Bucky would like, not being angry as he normally would have been at Bucky crushing his armor, letting Bucky take control even if Tony had won their fight earlier, because he thought it would make him happy.

Bucky broke the kiss, and Tony’s eyes fluttered open after a moment, blinking slowly. “…Of course nice murderers exist,” he finally argued with a scoff. “I exist.”

“You’re incorrigible,” Bucky huffed, trying to sound gruff, but he failed again; he sounded fond. “You do what I tell you to and put a zipper between your legs?”

“That’s fucking humiliating so no,” Tony told him flatly. Then he smirked, as if Bucky did not have him by the wrists and at his mercy. “I don’t even own fabric flight suits anymore. I had this fabricated especially for you.”

Bucky tipped his head thoughtfully, giving Tony a slow onceover from his cracked gauntlets down to his feet before lifting his gaze back to Tony’s face. “Do you love me?” he finally asked. He’d thought maybe Tony had, once. Before Bucky had told him—before he’d found out—before the end of—

Before.

Tony blinked again, then very deliberately turned his gaze away. “Murderers aren’t capable of love,” he said, as if it was a fact and not a slap in the face, because Bucky had said it to him first, a long time ago, when he’d been just as dangerous to the people who cared about him as the people who didn’t.

“But are you?” Bucky asked.

Tony looked up at him again, frowning. Opened his mouth, then closed it again, turning his head away with a huff. He gripped his hands into fists, then loosened them, wrists flexing in Bucky’s grip. Finally, he tipped his head back, rolling his eyes. “God, you heroes are so fucking sentimental,” he moaned, exasperated.

That was all the warning Bucky got before he heard the familiar sound of metal sliding across the floor. He let go of Tony, leaping backward to avoid the rest of his suit now flying back to Tony. The gauntlets were out of the way, but he had plenty of other parts of his suit that were dangerous. Bucky still didn’t have his weapons, and he was also once again made aware that this was containment for the Hulk—Tony had probably added extra countermeasures since he’d first created it.

Tony spread his arms, frustrated, as the suit reassembled around him. “I go out of my way to get all dolled up for you and this is the thanks I get—feelings. I expected to be ravished, not… whatever this was,” he added dismissively, waving one of his hands as if he was simply batting away a fly. “Gag. You always were miserable about accepting gifts.”

Bucky circled him slowly, watching as Tony snatched a screwdriver from… somewhere. He went to fiddling with his broken repulsors, as if he didn’t see him as a threat at all. Maybe he didn’t. There were cameras all over the room. He probably had an eye on him from one of them even as he focused on his broken armor. Bucky watched him for a moment longer, then reached up and very deliberately unbuckled the shoulder straps on his tac gear.

Tony immediately slanted his gaze up, like Bucky knew he would, because he might be literally plugged into technology, but he was also human. “…What are you doing?” he finally asked as Bucky dropped his vest to the ground.

“If we’re going to have sex, I want to be comfortable,” Bucky replied with a shrug, grabbing his tac belt to unbuckle as well.

Tony eyed him, lips pursing skeptically. Finally, though, he said, “Keep the gloves on.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and couldn’t help the corner of his mouth curling up. “Fine, I won’t be getting them dirty anyway.”

“If you think I’m gonna finger myself open for you, you’ve got another thing coming,” Tony retorted, scowling. “I’m a pillow princess. You’re lucky I don’t just lie there and let you do everything.”

“Okay,” Bucky replied, shrugging, and began walking over to him again. “Drop the armor, or I’ll tear it off of you.”

Tony narrowed his eyes at him, suspicious. “…That felt easy,” he accused after some thought.

“Was thinkin’ I’d eat you out first,” Bucky drawled, and bit his tongue to keep from laughing as all of Tony’s armor dropped off his body immediately. “Since I know you like that,”

“No I don’t,” Tony said, as if he hadn’t just made himself completely available to Bucky’s desires. Then he blinked, looking vaguely stunned and confused. “I don’t know why I said that.”

Because he was a contrarian at heart, but Bucky wasn’t going to be foolish enough to tell him so. Instead, he wordlessly walked over, hooked his hands under Tony’s thighs, and hefted him up so that he could sling Tony’s legs over his shoulders. Tony let out a quiet, squeaky sound, like he always did when Bucky casually hefted him around like he weighed less than an apple.

“How are you going to rip my flight suit off if you’re holding me up,” Tony grumbled, burying his fingers in his hair.

Bucky wordlessly slammed him against the wall so he could brace him against it and ripped his flight suit open from tailbone to pelvis. Tony made the squeaky sound again. Bucky paused only long enough to wonder if he should gloat, then decided he didn’t really care, instead shifting his shoulders to spread Tony’s thighs wider and shoving his face between Tony’s cheeks.

“Fuck!” Tony shouted, tugging his hair. His head thunked back into the wall, hard, and then he purred, “I really won that fight.”

Bucky couldn’t help the smile it brought to his lips, amused. Only Tony could find himself in such a vulnerable position and still feel he’d won.