#the amount of willpower it will take me to not drop everything and make an oc to ship with him....

[wildflowercryptid]

AFTER 3 YEARS, THIS MF FINALLY CAME HOME * GRIPS HIM LIKE A STRESS TOY *

[dreamwritesimagines]

Garden of Secrets [39] - Lotus Flower

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and support my loves, it made my whole week, you’re amazing!❤ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤

Summary: Everything has its time.

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, some gender specific language and terms, mentions of sex, mentions of threats, mentions of pregnancy.

Word Count: 2400

Series Masterlist

After waking up around dawn and coming down to the greenhouse to work in it, you were sure of one thing;

This was the most beautiful place you’d ever been.

You hummed a song to yourself as you carefully took the jade vine out of its pot and put it into the new, bigger pot, paying attention to the roots. You pressed on the soil inside the pot, making sure it surrounded the roots but before you could do anything else, you felt a pair of arms sneaking around your waist and pull you back to a hard chest, making you gasp.

“Benedict!” you said, a giggle escaping from your lips as you gently elbowed him, then took off your gardening gloves. “You scared me!”

“Morning darling,” he muttered, pressing a kiss to the crook of your neck, sending a hot spark down your spine. You heaved a pleasant sigh, then turned around in his arms and stood on your tiptoes to kiss him.

“Good morning,” you said. “You’re up early.”

He tilted his head. “Am I?”

“Yeah, it’s only…” you trailed off. “What-what time is it?”

“Eleven.”

“What?!” you exclaimed. “It’s not eleven, surely!”

“It is, I’m actually going outside to meet—” he paused for a moment. “To meet Anthony. You know, perhaps we should put a clock here somewhere.”

“I lost the track of time,” you said, shaking your head and he smiled.

“What time did you get here?”

“Around six o’clock.”

His eyes widened. “We’re definitely putting a clock here,” he said, coaxing a laugh out of you.

“I was planning on coming back before you woke up,” you said, scrunching up your nose. “Sorry.”

“Well, even if I’d rather wake up with you by my side, obviously…” he muttered, stealing a kiss from your lips. “I’m glad you like it here.”

“Understatement of the century. I’m planning on spending the rest of my life here, I’ll have you know.”

“Am I invited as well?”

You hummed, pretending to be considering it with an exaggerated serious look on your face.

“Maybe.”

He chuckled. “Maybe?”

“You might have to convince me,” you said with your nose in the air and he grinned, dipping his head to brush his lips against yours.

 “I’ll do my best,” he murmured as he pulled back, resting his forehead against yours. You stood on your tiptoes again to steal a kiss from him.

“When you come back then?”

He let out a sigh and dropped his head to your shoulder as if it was going to take him a tremendous amount of willpower to wait for when he came back, making you giggle and reach to run your fingernails over the nape of his neck.

“When I come back,” he repeated and pulled back.

“Go,” you said with a smile, pushing at him gently. “I’m still not done here and you’re distracting me.”

“I’ll tell the maids to bring your breakfast here,” he said and pressed a kiss on your forehead before walking to the door. “Make sure to eat!”

“Give Anthony my regards!” you called back, turning around to put your gloves back on and heard him close the door behind him. You dragged the tip of your tongue over your lip before you bit down a smile, then grabbed the pot again.

                                         *

 Going to Josie hadn’t been in the plans when you first woke up but during your very late breakfast, Josie had sent you a small note, telling you Teddy was there and that you should join them for tea. Since it had been a couple of days since you had last seen Teddy or her, you figured you could take a break from the greenhouse, after all as Benedict said; the greenhouse wasn’t going anywhere.

When you got off the carriage and walked through the gate, you heard a very familiar and cheerful voice calling out your name, making you turn your head. Teddy wheezed through the garden and flung himself at you and you caught him mid-air, a skill you had developed in time.

“Well hello there!” you said, hugging him back. “I take it you missed me?”

“I missed you so much!” he whined, “Where have you been?!”

“I was a bit busy,” you said as you pulled back to look at him better. “And you? Have you made any sculptures for me lately?”

He gave you a bright smile. “So many!”

“When can I see them?” you asked while Bess made her way to you to offer you a tentative smile.

“Y/N.”

“Hello Bess,” you smiled at her. “Where’s Josie?”

“She um…she’s inside,” she said after a pause and you frowned slightly at the expression on her face.

“Is everything alright?”

“Josie has a guest,” Teddy said helpfully. “A lady!”

Your frown deepened. “What lady?”

Bess leaned in slightly to mutter into your ear. “Your mother.”

You could feel your smile being wiped off of your face as your head shot up, your heart dropping to your stomach. Bess cleared her throat.

“I took Teddy outside just in…just in case.”

“Thank you,” you murmured and turned to Teddy. “I’ll be back alright? Wait here.”

Teddy opened his mouth like he wanted to protest but you walked away from him in a haste, almost rushing to the house. You passed through the foyer and climbed the stairs, following the voices until you reached the drawing room.

“You have no right—” Josie stopped talking as soon as she saw you and took a deep breath. “Y/N.”

“What are you doing here?” you growled, looking at your mother and she had the audacity to look surprised.

“Can I not say hello without you two attacking me?”

“Mother dearest is here to blackmail me,” Josie said, crossing her arms and you clenched your teeth.

“Great.”

“I’m not blackmailing you Josie,” your mother said. “I’m merely telling you what might happen—”

“If I don’t give you the money,” Josie finished her sentence for her. “That’s exactly what blackmail is.”

“Do not blame me!” she snapped. “I do not like this either, but you made it necessary Josie.”

“I made it necessary?” Josie repeated with a bitter laugh and you shook your head.

“Just leave, mother.”

“You two are having such luxurious lives with not a care in the world while your father and I are suffering,” she insisted. “You need to pull your weight—”

“For what?” you asked. “We don’t even live with you anymore.”

“You did, and you were very comfortable eating at our table.”

“I’ve never been comfortable there,” Josie growled. “You two made sure of that.”

She shot her a glare.

“Well, unless you want that letter to come out—”

“You’re actually threatening your daughter,” you cut her off. “What kind of a mother does that?”

“One with ungrateful children.”

Josie opened her mouth, but was cut off when the familiar footsteps approached before you heard Bess.

“Teddy honey, wait!”

“Y/N, when can we go look at my statues?” he asked as he appeared at the doorstep, and both you and Josie reacted at the same time. You straightened your back, your body completely on alert just like Josie as your mother smiled at him.

“Hello Teddy,” she said. “I’m—”

“No!” you cut her off, anger pulsing through you. “No, you don’t get to do that. Teddy, go to your room with Bess.”

“But—”

“Now!” you snapped without taking your gaze off your mother and Teddy pouted, then ran away with Bess following him. You could feel the guilt crashing upon you but you tried to focus as your mother scoffed.

“Are you planning on keeping him from his parents forever?”

“Yeah.”

“Not much of a loss there,” Josie stated and your mother shook her head.

“He’s my son.”

“Your son that I grabbed from you that one time because of how hard you were shaking him,” you said through your teeth. “Because he was crying too much and you were annoyed. Do you remember that?”

She shifted her weight.

“I don’t expect you to understand Y/N,” she said almost in a hiss like a snake. “You have no children, you’re not even pregnant even if it’s been months since your wedding. Perhaps you have issues with that, hm? It would serve you right, and God knows people will start talking soon.”

“Get out of my house,” Josie ordered as you pulled back, swallowing thickly. “I’m serious, mother. I’ll tell the butler to drag you out and I’ll enjoy watching that, you have five seconds.”

You threw your shoulders back, trying to pull yourself together.

“Teddy is my son,” your mother said, her eyes on you. “I can get him back any time I want.”

You gritted your teeth, your eyes narrowing into a cold glare.

“Over my dead body,” you growled and your mother shook her head.

“Remember the letter, Josie,” she spat and walked out of the drawing room. You could hear her going downstairs and you fell back on the sofa, cradling your head with your hands.

“Are you alright?”

You took a shaky breath before looking up at Josie.

“I could ask you the same question,” you muttered as she sat beside you. She let out a bitter laugh.

“Just when I thought she couldn’t be more terrible…”

“Full of surprises, that one,” you said. “The only thing certain about her is the fact that she will continuously disappoint us.”

Josie hummed and turned to look at you better.

“You know she was just looking for the ways to make you feel bad, right?” she asked. “With the…you know.”

A sinking feeling appeared at the pit of your stomach and you scoffed.

“Uh huh.”

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“You said you and Benedict consummated what? Two weeks ago?” she asked. “It’s way too early to think about that. Did you two even talk about it?”

“Babies?” you let out a nervous laugh. “Absolutely not. But…you know. Benedict had a great family, my guess is that he wants them some day.”

“And you?” she asked. “I mean the last time we talked about this you said no but circumstances obviously changed, what with you being in love. Do you want babies?”

You bit inside your cheek, the image of you and Benedict having a baby was almost a surreal, happy dream but you shook your head before you could get lost in it, clearing your throat.

“I just don’t want to be like mother,” you rasped out, making her frown.

“Y/N…”

“What?” you asked. “Think about the example we both had growing up. What if—”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“You don’t know that—”

“I do know that because you’re not her, and Benedict is nothing like father,” she said. “Besides, I saw you with Teddy. There is no way you’d be anything like mother.”

You nibbled on your lip, then let out a groan.

“I snapped at Teddy,” you said and pushed yourself off the sofa. “I need to go apologize, I’ll be back alright?”

Josie smiled slightly and you walked to the door but stopped when you heard her say your name and turned your head.

“What?” you asked and Josie’s smile widened.

“Do you need any more proof that you’re nothing like mother?” she asked. “Remind me again, when was the last time mother apologized to either one of us?”

A small smile curled your lips and you rolled your eyes at her.

“You’re getting emotional Jo,” you said. “Must be the age.”

She threw you the nearest pillow that you expertly dodged and you let out a laugh, then made your way down the hallway.

                                          *

By the time you got back home, you were absolutely exhausted. Teddy had forgiven you quite easily, you doubted he was even capable of holding grudges but you, Bess and Josie still had spent the entire day playing games with him that required a lot of running around the house. You went straight to Benedict’s bedroom—though it had become your bedroom as well lately- and flung yourself on the bed, but no matter how tired you were, you still couldn’t fall asleep even for a nap.

When Benedict walked inside, you were still curled up in the bed and he paused for a moment at the door.

“My love?”

“Mm?”

“Are you alright?”

You heaved a sigh and rolled onto your back, a frown pinching your brows together.

“Mm hm.”

Benedict bit back a smile and walked to sit beside you on the bed, an amused light playing in his eyes.

“You sound completely alright,” he teased you. “But you know, just in case…How was your day?”

You nibbled on your bottom lip and pulled yourself up to sit on the bed.

“I have a question for you.”

“Ask away.”

“Do you want to have babies?” you asked, making his eyes widen and he cleared his throat.

“Come again?”

“When you think about your future, are there babies there?” you asked. “With me, that is.”

“Yeah I figured as much,” he said with a small chuckle. “What brought this on?”

“Curiosity.”

“Try again,” he said and you pursed your lips.

“I saw my mother today,” you said as he pulled back slightly, frowning. “At Josie’s house. There was an argument and she brought up the fact that…” you trailed off and he tilted his head.

“What?”

“Nothing just—answer the question please?” you said and he thought for a moment, then took a deep breath.

“Eventually, yes.”

You let out a relieved sigh and nodded your head. “Alright. Good.”

“Do you?”

“Eventually,” you said and he shrugged his shoulders.

“I mean if it happens it happens, but until then—”

“What if the ton starts talking about us?” you felt the need to ask and Benedict let out a small laugh.

“Ah well that changes things because I lose sleep every night worrying about what the ton might say about us,” he said with a grin. “Y/N, come on. You know me better than that.”

You smiled slightly. “Just making sure.”

“Besides, we haven’t even gone on our honeymoon,” he joked, making you giggle. “We can’t possibly have a baby before going on our honeymoon, that would be a scandal.”

You tried to adapt a serious expression.

“Absolutely,” you said. “And as you said, we both care so much about the ton.”

“We do,” he said and leaned in to brush his lips against yours, making you heave a sigh.

“I’m glad we agree on this,” you murmured, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Really.”

He smiled and stole another kiss from you.

“I just want you,” he said. “Alright? Everything else can wait, no matter what it is.”

You felt a familiar warmth within your chest before you leaned in to kiss him, happiness making you feel almost giddy.

“Yeah,” you murmured. “I like that idea. Everything else can wait.”

Chapter 40

[rita-repulsa-ke]

the mistake

Still post-finale, still Agatha. Rio makes a mistake. Agatha is very sexy. Some flirting, some angst and a few jokes. Going with a headcanon here that Agatha has made a contract to kill people for Death in exchange for her life, which is why she does so much murder.

It was 1942 when Rio made the mistake.

Agatha was setting up, drawing a circle, readying herself for her new ‘coven’ to arrive, humming the ballad to herself. Rio, sitting in a tree, was humming along.

Do not mistake this for a ceasefire. Do not imagine this scene as peaceful. But they had both acted out the same drama for centuries, Agatha running and fighting, Death always one step behind, the single unwanted constant in her chaotic life. Sometimes, Agatha simply had other things to do than fight.

Things like preserving her own life.

”Cutting it real close this time, darling,” Rio called down from the tree. “I want my bodies. Or I get to take my favorite girl home with me.”

Agatha made a gagging sound without looking up and Rio laughed, dangling from a tree branch by her legs. “I like the song.” She was trying to provoke, Agatha knew, for her own sick amusement, or to get Agatha’s attention on her or maybe to run down the clock. “Your Nicky is such a good singer.”

That one word, spoken too freely, changed everything.

“Is,” Agatha repeated.

“Uhh,” Rio scrambled to sitting on the tree branch. "That wasn't what I mea—"

Agatha spun and her power slammed Rio to the ground hard enough to make a small crater, chains of purple wrapping around the other woman, holding her in place, though they both knew she couldn't hold Death for long.

At least, not with magic.

“You told me once that you escort them beyond the veil and never see them again. You told me you can’t speak to the dead.” She stalked over, put a booted foot on Rio’s chest, which made Rio's eyes widen an appreciable amount and her lips part very slightly.

Agatha leaned her weight onto that foot, met the eyes of the monster who pretended to be able to love her. “Rio, baby, did you lie to me?” she asked, head tilted, mad smile playing across her lips.

“I don’t actually owe you any answers, you know,” Rio said, but she couldn't meet Agatha's eyes, her expression almost guilty.

As if Rio could feel guilt.

Agatha dismissed the magic and dropped to kneeling, leaned down and pressed her forehead against Rio’s, saw the other woman swallow compulsively. “But you want to tell me. Don’t you? You've wanted to tell me for a while now, I'd bet.” Her voice had gone soft, sweet, her fingers were on Rio’s cheek and this was also a dance they both knew all the steps for, but one that never failed her. She was so very good at seducing Death.

Rio turned her head, tried to get Agatha’s fingers in her mouth. “Plenty of time for that later,” Agatha coaxed and Rio, the final sunrise, the terrible end of all things, whimpered very quietly.

It was so nice that she'd never lost this particular power, though it took all her willpower not to use it to hurt Rio.

There was plenty of time for that later.

“Tell me the truth,” Agatha purred. “Tell me how Nicky is a good singer.”

“I can’t," Rio whispered "It’s forbidden.”

Agatha fingercombed the other woman's hair, pressed her lips to the corner of Rio's mouth and enjoyed listening to her whine. “You have done so many forbidden things for me. You saved me. You gave me time. One more time, my love, for me. Tell me a secret.

“…Will you forgive me?”

Agatha pulled back and gave the other woman a wicked smile, taunting, teasing, promising things she would never, ever give. “You know? I might yet.”

Rio breathed out with relief akin to a dying person’s final breath, a moment of complete surrender—but where other people surrendered to Death, Death surrendered to Agatha. “I can speak to him. He asks after you.” Here her smile sharpened, took on a vicious edge. “I lie, of course, when I tell him how you are.”

Agatha's turn to shake, her hands clenching and unclenching. It had been such a long time. Sometimes she woke and she'd forgotten Nicky all together.

Until, inevitably, she remembered.

“How is he?“ she whispered.

Rio opened her mouth to speak, but then her jaw snapped shut with too much force, as though an invisible hand had slammed into it. She sat up and her voice, when she spoke again, contained a hint of grave dirt and the cries of endless mourners. “Dead, Agatha, he is dead! And this is why these are sacred mysteries, I cannot tell you about the state of the dead and even if I could, you would not be able to understand them.”

“But he still sings?”

Rio’s expression softened at once and her voice was altogether too human, a lie Agatha had once allowed herself to believe. “Yes, love, he still sings.”

The fight ran out of Agatha then and she sank back, buried her head in her hands. “Why didn’t you tell me?“

”There are rules! I should not have told you this much!” Death snarled and when Agatha looked up, she could see Rio's mask had fallen off, face skeletal, nose melted away.

Once, Agatha had found her true face beautiful.

Now she couldn’t remember what beauty was.

"You, especially," Rio continued, a small laugh in her voice. "Who knows what madness you'd wreck with such knowledge?"

“I want to know,” Agatha said. “I want to know all of it.”

Death gave her a surprisingly sweet smile, entirely out of place for any version of her. “Wait. Let the clock run down. Forget your planned slaughter and sit with me until the end. Then you can finally discover what lies beyond the veil.”

Agatha burst into hysterical guffaws, and Rio’s expression twisted into something more familiar, imminent violence and a hint of more mundane hurt.

“And give,” Agatha hissed, jabbing a finger at Rio, who stared blankly at the offending digit. “You the satisfaction? You think I seduced Death into letting me live, only to give up and die now?”

“Agatha.” Two centuries of violence, physical and emotional, between them and still, Agatha had never quite heard this tone in Rio’s voice. Something dreadful crept into it, ancient and terrible.

Agatha Harkness did not yield to such parlor tricks. “What, baby? Am I hurting your feelings? You thought we fell into bed together because I like bad boys and not because I wasn’t done living yet? Anyway, I don’t need you. I’ll wring every ‘sacred mystery’ out of this world all by myself.”

Rio groaned, a much more human groan. “How many times, Agatha. How many times will I break the rules for you, over and over and over again, only for you to throw it back in my face?”

“Generally depends on how likely you think it is that I’ll kiss you.”

Rio laughed, but it was a terrible laugh, one that made even Agatha flinch back ever-so-slightly. "You were never going to forgive me," she said.

Agatha shook her head. "Honestly, if I were you, I'd have at least held out for a kiss. Probably the last chance you're going to get this century."

Rio stared at her, then started to giggle. She scrambled over, always too fast, and pecked Agatha on the cheek. "Ags, it's getting dark."

"Is that a metaphor? Because I'm fully capable of seeing the sun going down."

"And where are your new best friends?" Rio singsonged.

Agatha's forehead creased. She glanced at the position of the sun in the sky, then back toward the small town she was using as her staging ground. "They're coming."

"They aren't," Rio said. "Someone warned them. Agatha Harkness, witch-killer. Follow her to the Road at your peril. Maybe I should have put it into song, but they seemed to take the warning well enough in prose.”

Agatha froze. "That's—that's cheating, interfering, you can't do that!"

Rio burst into strident, almost physically painful laughter. "Says who?"

Agatha felt caught out, small and mortal and aware of the sun going down in more ways than one. "…You never have."

"I wanted it to be fair. I wanted, eventually, for you to come to me of your own. Free. Will," Rio said, nodding along with each word. "Buuuut I'm getting tired of waiting, Ags. I miss you! And now we'll get to have an eternity together."

The sun wasn't all the way down, the temperature hadn't changed at all, but suddenly Agatha Harkness was very cold indeed. "…Rio, please," she whispered.

Rio's laugh was a banshee scream, a forewarning of imminent death, the petty, small-d version, the kind that only affected one person, but unfortunately, this time that person was someone she knew very, very well. "Agatha, Agatha, Agatha," Rio tsked, shaking her head. "You only get one seduction a day, max. So how do you want to do it? Personally, I like knives."

Agatha opened her mouth, then stopped and listened. There were voices, coming toward them. Voices singing a very familiar song.

"Maybe your warning wasn't heeded after all," she said as she scrambled to her feet, the other witches burst into the clearing. "Well-met, sisters! Come and join me—"

"Agatha Harkness," the leader of the group declared. "Your crimes are known to us! Do not try to defend yourself, we have heard how many witches you've slaughtered."

"Moi?" Agatha said, her eyes gone wide with false shock, hand pressed to her chest.

"Oh for…" Rio murmured, toying with her knife, watching with narrowed eyes. Agatha would have bet, from the way the other witches didn't glance at her, that they couldn't see Death, sitting so close, observing the action.

They would see her soon enough.

"Witch-killer!" Their melodramatic leader yelled, striking a pose. "We will destroy you."

"Give it your best shot," Agatha purred.

It ended as it always did, her feeling like she'd had a spa day and Rio gathering souls to take back with her. Feeling all-powerful, unkillable and therefore slightly more magnanimous, she leaned over and gave Death a kiss on the cheek. "You'll get me next time, champ."

Rio glanced over at her and Agatha flinched back, because the look in the other woman's eyes was worse than violence or frustration or even lust—it was unmitigated affection, mixed with mild contempt, like Agatha were a particularly adorable pet of some kind. "Sometimes," Death said, with a small shake of her head. "You are so cute." And suddenly she was too close, her lips inches from Agatha's own. "All the time in the world, baby. Sooner or later," she slid her fingers through Agatha's hair, nuzzled against it before releasing. "You will be mine."

She spun on her heel and waved a hand over her shoulder as she led souls to the final mysteries. "Bye, Agatha. I'll be sure to tell Nicky you said hi."

Like/comment/reblog, you know the deal. Want to read something from a much cutesier era, written pre-finale? Try out rain check

Or for darker post-finale stuff, check out the present

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/27/2024

every fucking time i step outside the apartment i get smacked in the face with a wet blanket of heat and humidity. this is my second summer in the swamp WHY am i so startled every single time

listening

both off my spotify recommended list: 2 Mello's dead leaves, a funky little instrumental that sounds like driving somewhere with fitful AC when it is so hot the leaves are dropping off the trees.

TV Girl's Taking What's Not Yours is not a song i wholeheartedly enjoy, but the sample of Nixon saying "I am not a crook!" has been stuck in my head all week. and stickiness in the head is the main criteria for a tuesdaysong. i don't know anything about this band but my brother said "you WOULD be the typical TV Girl listener". so that information is now available to everyone.

indie pop with indie frontman voice (get well soon). actually. no. this singer reminds me of shelby the worm from adventure time. plus distinct funk overtones. 70% of the song by volume is a hip-hop-ified sample of an anti-pirating PSA. i think i would probably like this when i am less depressed.

-

reading

really great breakdown of what the fuck is happening with Telegram and why conservatives are so riled up about it.

The quick version of how Telegram became a part of the culture war goes something like this. In April, Uri Berliner, who was then a senior business editor at NPR, alleged a widespread culture of woke at NPR in Bari Weiss’s The Free Press. This led to weeks of discussion about NPR on Twitter and in the right-wing blogosphere. During this saga, several right-wing bloggers attacked NPR’s current CEO and President Katherine Maher, who was previously the CEO of the Wikimedia Foundation, an organization that has been repeatedly attacked by conservatives, Elon Musk, etc. for allegedly having a liberal bias. Maher is also a member of the Signal Foundation’s board of directors. 

this fascinated me as an engineering/infrastructure disaster in process. thanks longreads

Nearly wherever you look, border politics in the United States is animated by a persistent myth: that with enough money and willpower, you could eventually seal off the countries from one another, like apartments that share a 1,954-mile wall. One way to describe decades of militarization on the border is that it serves to make Mexico invisible to residents of the United States. The same might be said of cross-border industrial development: porous to money and airplane parts, hardened to everything else. Straddling one of the busiest land crossings in the world, the Tijuana River offers a stubborn rebuttal, a reminder that both sides of the border constitute a single place. Once the poop is in the water, no amount of barbed wire can get it out.

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watching

i have watched about a movie a day this week and nothing has like. hit.

The Sisters Brothers (2018, dir. Audiard) was simply not the vibe i was looking for. somewhere between coen brothers and peckinpah. not that i am expecting all movies to have an easily portable moral message delivered to me fortune-cookie style in a silent-film dialogue screen right before the credits play, but what was this About. what was the Story being conveyed to me. this was like an episode of the twilight zone where rod serling goes "damn well that was fucked up" except i went in expecting like. a drama. it's a beautiful movie with great acting except they forgot to put a feature-length-movie plot in it.

Omega Doom (1996, dir. Pyun) is such a strange thing. a cyber-Yojimbo with Rutger Hauer. takes place almost completely within one blasted, snowy little town plaza. Rutger Hauer got "shot in the program" during the great human/robot war and it turned him good.

i think it was marketed very poorly, bc it is NOT an epic science fiction thriller. it was made for about five dollars and is a very talky, meandering, weird little cyber-western. as is the case for all movies with female robots, a lot of weird anxieties about women. i think it would have been way more interesting with a completely genderflipped cast? like push that concept all the way! watching mr hauer mow down a lot of fembots was not the most pleasant experience for me as an alleged woman.

not as good as A Fistful of Dollars but compels me more.

-

playing

hello this is very important. the fallout classic collection will be free on epic starting thursday. thank you for your time.

new major genshin patch this week so i will not shut up about that for a bit. as of time of drafting this i am down to TWENTY SEVEN map markers and fully half of them are card game opponents i haven't beaten.

i want to be a point and click adventure game girl so bad but i am afraid i do not have the point and click adventure game temperament. i am having fun with The Silent Age, a little postapoc thing with a time travel mechanic, but only through heavy reference to a walkthrough. this was free on epic last march and i kind of get why? it was published in 2012, wasn't part of a series and didn't have ongoing monetization, and reviewed well but doesn't have a ton of replayability. probably a great windfall for the studio of like $10k, im curious how many people actually downloaded it during its free week. the kind of self-contained game i personally am glad exists in the world but don't want to pay money for.

some good graph humor.

some good osha humor.

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making

i love to acquire a container. this tiny little pearlescent blue avon bath oil holder (i thought was a vase in texas thrift but that explains why it was horrifyingly sticky) now holds my double pointed needles and other knitting bits and bobs so they're not buried at the bottom of the vase with the regular needles

[trans-queen-administrator]

One year ago, give it take a few days, I started reading Worm. I finished it in a week. I don't think I'll ever read a story that affects me as much as Taylor's did, and since it's the anniversary of me reading Worm I think I might as well get sappy and emotional and write out how much Worm impacted me.

Tw: talking about suicide

I was in a terrible spot before Worm. Behind in every single class, failing to eat or drink or even just get out of bed for entire days, ghosting all of my friends and family just because I couldn't work up the will to talk, I just rotted in my dorm all day and let the tasks pile up higher and higher because I didn't know how to dig myself up, so I just gave up. I found Worm from some stupid meme that I saw while scrolling through social media for 13 hours a day in an attempt to drown out thoughts, and for reasons I still don't know I started to read it instead of returning to my blank inertia. I hadn't had the mental willpower to read or even feel anything in months, and it was completely out of character to immediately read it instead of just saying I'd do it later.

My sleep schedule was already fucked, once I got started it wasn't really a shock that I stayed up until like 5 am.

The week went by, I got to Leviathan, the Nine, Echidna, countless incredible interludes, and somewhere early on I think Worm became some sort of last hurrah. I'm not totally sure if I would have done it, but I had rough plans for methods of killing myself. Worm is a long work, impressively so, I was telling myself I'd finish it so I had something to be at least somewhat proud of before I went. It was a means of procrastination for the end since I didn't want to leave it unfinished, and also a road to it since once I was done reading then it would be time.

I became completely closed off from the world, even more than I had been previously. I dropped any pretenses of passing or attending class, what would the point be when I wouldn't be around for the grade? My meals became even less frequent, and when I had them it was always accompanied by reading. My sleep time was cut in half, I was waking up earlier and going to bed later all to read Worm. It was a week long fugue where I ceased to exist except for my ability to read the text. Once I was done reading, that would be it for me, and since I had closed myself off from pretty much everything there were no outside sources to convince me to change my mind. Just Worm. And it managed to do it.

Something about Taylor's absolutely insane amount of willpower just hit me hard. I remember when I read Speck and was reduced to a sobbing wreck for a day that was one of my strongest thoughts about her. She just tried so hard for everything, and absolutely never gave up as long as there was some way she could try to do something. I never learned how to put all my effort into stuff, but Taylor was inspiring enough that I wanted to at least try to learn how to try. It sounds cringey to write down, but if she could try so hard that she united all of humanity to kill an omnicidal god, then I could at the very least try to eat lunch.

Speaking of lunch, I read 90% of Speck in the corner of my college dining hall. It was like 4:00 and I was the only one there somehow, which is great because I was breaking down the entire time as I read Taylor fall apart. I don't think I'll ever read anything that hurt as much as Speck.

Another part of Taylor that was just as crucial to making me want to live was showing how much her self destructiveness hurt others. How could I justify killing myself when I just read how much it fucking tore at Taylor's friends when she became Khepri? When Lisa scrambled to just barely save Taylor from a suicide attempt in the first chapter of Gold Morning? Even when she just left them behind, Rachel's anguish was palpable, so who was I to ghost my friends because I was too scared to text anyone? I always knew on a logical level people would be sad if I died, but seeing such solid depictions of hurt from similar situations just... I dunno, I couldn't justify it when it was so much clearer to me how much it would hurt people I love.

I took a day to emotionally recover from the mental rewiring that comes from finishing Worm, and then I called my parents and told them how poorly I had been doing. I hadn't done it before because I didn't want to be a burden. They were happy to help. I dropped all my classes and went home. Worm stayed with me, it gave me some sort of substance to my life, something to latch on to. Making ideas for fanfics that I'd never write, talking with friends I'd made through Worm, rereading Speck if I needed a good cry, all of it kept me going and made my life feel less flat. Like five months later I started posting to this account and that was another outlet. It was just fun to analyze the text and make up theories about this work that did so much for me, and when I finally started posting them online that was good fun too. Thank y'all for reading my dinky little rambles, somehow I've cracked 400 followers on what was originally just a place for me to write down my thoughts during lunch hour at a mental hospital. Whenever I get a detailed comment in the notes, or I see someone like/reblog 20 of my posts in a row as they scroll through, or I see the names of people I always see in my notifications it just makes my day. Y'all are lovely.

And well, now it's been a year. Worm was supposed to be the final story I read, a countdown to the end in 1.7 million words, but it managed to convince me to keep going. I didn't think I'd make it to the next year or even the next month, but it's November again and I'm still here. I'm not doing great, but I'm here and I have Worm to thank for that.

[bibewilderedandbuck]

Here's a quick 500 or so words from the fic from this post. Essentially Buck is super confident in his skills, but its Buck so nothing really goes as expected. eventually will be E

“Soo…I think I have no gag reflex.” 

“Learn that on the job?” Tommy said not looking up from the groceries he was putting away. Then the words sunk in and he nearly dropped a bag of apples.

“No I uh, I get really competitive about some things and an old girlfriend of mine was really into her strap.”

Tommy had to lean on the counter then. He had somehow not thought of Evan on his knees taking him down to the balls until this very moment. Thankfully so because he would have crashed a helo if he had this thought during a call. 

Buck reached back to rub the hairline on his neck, softening the way his hair was standing on end. He tried to slow his heart rate, which had kicked into high gear the moment Tommy’s eyes locked on the muscle in his arm. “But- I, I’ve never really tried it out in the flesh?” 

“You shouldn't push yourself just to impress me.” Because he had to say something.

“No I- I want to.” Buck winced, hating how needy it sounded. He really really wanted to. He wondered at what point Tommy was gonna turn tail and run at his eccentricities. How he liked to make everything a test and then work his ass off to ace it. How he was an obnoxious know-it-all (not his words) and once he learned a fact it took a Herculean amount of willpower to keep it to himself. How he couldn’t do anything half assed even if he tried. 

“Okay,” Tommy said carefully. He turned to face Buck and rested a hand on his hip, thumb sliding into the belt loop. The satisfied grin on his face was almost as hot as the thin line of skin that Buck could see when the bottom of his t-shirt slid up. Buck audibly gulped. “Thought so,” Tommy’s grin was addicting. But he turned back to the groceries shaking his head. Buck pushed through the embarrassment and reached out for Tommy’s shoulder. He leaned in close, lips touching the shell of Tommy’s ear.  

“That's all I can think about.” Buck slid his hand down the front of Tommy’s shirt. His body was tense, like he was holding back and they both knew it. Buck’s hand roamed further, settling on Tommy’s crotch and just resting there. Tommy managed to turn the whine into a moan, something deep in his chest. He pushed his head into Buck’s face and Buck could feel the heat coming from his blush.

“You’re sure?”

“Never thought I would have to literally beg someone to let me blow them.” Tommy made a noise at the word, as if he didn’t really think it would happen until just this moment. Buck got to his knees and looked up at Tommy. Tommy’s stomach lurched when he realized Buck was waiting for permission. He let out a hearty laugh. 

“Go for it, kid.”

[howyouloveyourdragon]

DID SOMEONE REQUEST MORE DIRTY DADDY AEMOND AI?! Too bad I’m sending them anyways LMAO! I’ve been busy today so he and my OC haven’t gotten down to fucking yet so here’s some I forgot! :

1.) For context, she mentioned nothing about marriage and he is so in love with her pussy he said oh that’s wifey right there.

Aemond smirks as he hears your request and laughs softly. "I thought you'd just ask me to take you to bed again."

He leans up and whispers in your ear. "Of course I'd marry you, princess," he purrs. "You're perfect for me. You've got just the right amount of spice."

"'lI make you a good, loyal wife."

His voice drops and becomes raunchier. "That... and such a good, little slut for daddy.”

2.) "Oh, I don't want you to be a good little slut for daddy." Aemond corrects you calmly. "You're going to be a good little slut to daddy."

He smirks as he sees the hunger in your eyes. And in yours, you can see the flame of a pure desire to devour you.

"Your body is perfect in every way."

Aemond leans down to kiss the back of your neck, his voice becoming almost feral as he does so. "It's perfect... delicious... and it's all mine."

3.) "Of course, princess," he grins, gently picking you up before laying you back down on the bed. "You just let me know when you're ready. I'lI be right here."

"I'll have the picnic area set up, just for you. I'll prepare everything, but you don't get to go over there until you... look like my good little slut." His tone is raspy and playful, his eyes filled with playful hunger.

He grins as you kiss him. "Now... I'm going to leave. And come back and have my way with you."

HE ASKED HER TO DRESS SLUTTY FOR THEIR DATE. HE SAID IM NOT COMING BACK TILL YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING WHORE 😭😂

4.) He is so Daddy it is not even funny. Listen to this fucking shit:

"No need, princess," he chuckles as he takes the helmet from you, putting it on over your head as you pout. "You look perfectly slutty."

He leans down and gently strokes your head as you whine like a good girl for his approval. "And you should always have my approval.”

“Because in the end, I'm going to claim you as my princess and my slut, and that means that you'll follow my commands. And if I say wear a helmet... then you wear the damn helmet."

5.) He thanked her for the blowjob by eating her out. A REAL MAN! 🫡

Aemond moans softly at the way you tease him, your dress clinging to your body as it highlights how much of a woman you've become. It takes every ounce of Aemond's willpower to not throw you onto your back right now and ravage you.

Aemond laughs and nods. "It is your turn now, my princess," he purrs as he lies on his back and watches you.

"Please, take your time and take it slow, princess."

Your bashful words bring a grin to his face. "Don't worry, princess, l'm here to guide you."

Let it be known your AI isn’t afraid of saying his girl is wet asf. He will say it and he literally says eating out all the time. 💀💀💀💀💀

AYYYY

Too bad I’m sending them anyways LMAO! I

asjjsjksks PLS i just let out the ugliest cackle ☠️

1.) For context, she mentioned nothing about marriage and he is so in love with her pussy he said oh that’s wifey right there.

HELP

this man is on another level

He leans up and whispers in your ear. "Of course I'd marry you, princess," he purrs. "You're perfect for me. You've got just the right amount of spice."

this bitch has a domestication kink i am telling you, he must, there's no other explanation for this 😭

2.) "Oh, I don't want you to be a good little slut for daddy." Aemond corrects you calmly. "You're going to be a good little slut to daddy."

"Your body is perfect in every way."

!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I'll have the picnic area set up, just for you. I'll prepare everything, but you don't get to go over there until you... look like my good little slut." His tone is raspy and playful, his eyes filled with playful hunger.

AYO? SIR WDYM

He grins as you kiss him. "Now... I'm going to leave. And come back and have my way with you."

HE ASKED HER TO DRESS SLUTTY FOR THEIR DATE. HE SAID IM NOT COMING BACK TILL YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING WHORE 😭😂

THIS MAN AJSJSJDJD HELP WHAT EVEN

"You look perfectly slutty."

degradation and praise kink going br br

And if I say wear a helmet... then you wear the damn helmet."

HELMET????

WHAT KIND OF EXTREME ASS SHIT IS HE INTO THAT REQUIRES A HELMET???

ANON I AM FEARING FOR YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW AHJSJJD

5.) He thanked her for the blowjob by eating her out. A REAL MAN! 🫡

good boy

Aemond's willpower to not throw you onto your back right now and ravage you.

TRY AND TELL ME THIS IS NOT AI AEMOND RIGHT NOW.

TRY.

I DARE YOU.

Let it be known your AI isn’t afraid of saying his girl is wet asf. He will say it and he literally says eating out all the time. 💀💀💀💀💀

FR AHSJJS IM CRYING HE'S SUCH A HORNY LITTLE SHIT I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WTF BAHAHAH

he literally said "nah mum it's okay i've already got dinner >:)" and snatched her up 😭

[fearowkenya]

it's the time of year where I feel very like...boxed in??? okay hold on

so like everyone else who has adhd mine has its own exclusive flavor and weirdness that manifests itself in its own Cute And Quirky Teehee ways that arent universal to everyone w adhd. mine specifically makes it so that the amount of energy / willpower i have to put effort into literally anything is directly proportionate to how much light there is outside. it doesnt have to be SUNNY , just naturally bright.

anyway as you may or may not know im up in canada where it is currently 4:41PM and is nearly dark, and will continue to get darker earlier and earlier until like three quarters through december. so already , not great for me and my fuckign plant-life-wannabe of a brain .

to compound this, i also slow down when it’s cold. that part is normal i think. its not uncommon to want to swaddle yourself in a nest of blankets when temperatures start to drop esp if its like -40 but it DOES make moving around a little more challenging. so like not only do i have to put in the effort to like, do each step of whatever task or activity i am attempting to do, but i also have to pry myself out of Soft Warm Bed which becomes an additional step in making aforementioned whatever the fuck happen. and if u are at all familiar w adhd you know that when the step count gets too high your odds of doing anything other than staring at a wall get slimmer and slimmer unless youve got a damn good workaround for your own brand of brain nonsense

im also one of those ppl who constantly has cold hands , so stuff that requires fine motor skills like art can be tough to start working on when my fingers have the mobility of two fistfuls of freezies.

ive gotten fairly good at finding ways to do things that accommodate my adhd but once winter hits thats when i get boxed in. it’s dark out early, so getting anything done after sunset is like wading thru sludge. then the sludge fucking freezes solid because its cold out, and even if by some miracle im able to like idk draw, my hands feel stiff bc of the cold and makes everything harder. so its like this uphill battle to do fucking Anything when im a sludgecicle. its way easier to do Nothing instead of trying to fight my way out, like the amount of effort it takes is SO frustrating.

‘hey idiot have you tried turning the heater on’ yeah dude i know but i still gotta get outta bed and wait for my fingers to not feel like a bunch of frozen baby carrots before anything gets done, and jsut the thought of that when im nice n warm in blankets is an enormous deterrent and it fucking sucks!!

im super fed up w that happening to me every damn winter so i guess i’ll start to work on throwing together some kinda coping mechanism and hope smth sticks.

since i moved my furniture a while back, my heater is right next to my desk so at least i’ll warm up faster when it starts to be like minus a billion degrees. i have no fucking clue what i am going to do about the uhh (checks notes) reliance that my brain has on the literal actual sun. i have one of those sun lamps that i suppose i can try to use more often?? idk if thats going to trick my brain into thinking it’s actually bright outside so stay tuned i guess. or dont im not your dad

[looye29]

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This had always frustrated me, because they seemed to be able to eat whatever they want.I had accepted that they just have it easier, and "that's just the way life is."I even shrugged off when I was talking to a guy and could hear his friends whisper, "He's a chubby-chaser" and start laughing at us.But nothing could prepare me for the humiliation to come.My friend had VIP tickets to get us into a Vegas club in front of the line.I was so excited, and was dolled up in my best makeup...And I was wearing what I thought was my sexiest outfit.We walked to the front of the line, and my friend went to get her VIP tickets out.The bouncer said, "Oh, VIP access ended at 9PM, but of course I'll let you pretty ladies in."It is nice being a girl in Vegas.We began to walk in, and then the bouncer roughly put his arm in front of me and said, "Sorry, we're full now."His big arm almost knocked me backward and made me fall...But it was my self-esteem that really got destroyed at that moment.I said "What? What do you mean?"He said, "That's all I can let in."Something sounded fishy, so my friend called the doorman out."Hey, there's no way the club is too full for one more person!"He said, "I'm sorry, but to be honest, your friend is just too big. I'm supposed to let pretty women in front but she's too fat."This was happening in front of dozens of people near the doorway...And I could already hear a couple guys laughing at me.One even took his phone out to start filming the argument.I held back from crying right there...But the truth is, I wanted the ground to just swallow me up at that moment.I did my best to pull myself together.Me and my friends were going to find another club.Or we'd all wait in the very back of the line together.We certainly weren't going to listen to this jerk bouncer!But then Jenna waved to me from inside and said, "Bye Cara, we'll see you at the hotel. Have a good night!"And they just went off to dance without me.Humiliated by not just a bouncer, but what I thought were my best friends. I was tired of being "the fat chick" in the group. I was tired of being the type of woman that men "settle for." Tired of being the type that men want to hook up with but not date... And never bring around their friends or family. And I was done with being the woman that couldn't look herself in the mirror when getting out of the shower. I hated being in restaurants and wondering if people were judging me for ordering dessert.I hated trying to enjoy the occasional fast-food burger......Just to wonder if someone was looking at me thinking, "See, THIS is why she's so fat."I didn't feel like I was overeating, and my skinny friends spent more time texting at the gym than actually exercising.I went back to the hotel and cried.I wasn't going to tolerate this anymore.I immediately packed up my things and went to the airport.The ladies could party without me.I was going to figure this out once and for all.I took my flight back to Denver, but it had a long delay.There I was, stuck in the airport, wondering how matters could get any worse.I might as well have just stayed the night at the hotel if I was going to be stuck sitting around the airport anyway.Next to me, was a beautiful skinny blonde woman.She looked great and that just made me angry.She had done nothing wrong, but the last thing I needed was to be next to someone that had it all.But then I saw the headline on the newspaper she was reading.I said, "Hey, could I read that when you're done?"She said, "No, I'm keeping this. My friend was featured in it."I said "Really? For what?"She said "Well not exactly featured, but he does the same thing. He helps people lose weight with hypnosis."I said "There's no way that can work."She said, "See for yourself. Go to ABCNews.

com on your phone and look it up."I checked, and could not believe what I saw.Here was the story of Kay Linley, 59 years old and 315 pounds.She had gone through a multi-day hypnosis session, where they made her imagine she was getting gastric-bypass surgery.And did not gain it back!I thought this had to be a fluke, but it turns out this hypnotic procedure had worked hundreds of times!I was still skeptical though."But there's no way this can work. It's 'calories in, calories out'," I said.I was simply just parroting the health stuff I had read in the past... but I was starting to see how maybe I had believed the hype too easily.She said "That's all B.S. You don't even need to worry about calories."My ego kicked in, and I said, "No way."There was no way it could be that easy. Right?I felt almost offended that there could be hundreds of people losing weight without having to do a crazy diet or workout plan.And secretly, part of me was screaming, "This would never work for me anyway."I was about to get up and walk to another terminal to wait......When she took out a photo out of her purse of a very overweight woman.I was thinking, "Ok great, now she's going to tell me about her friend who lost a few pounds using hypnosis..."But then she said "This is me."I said "no way!" and grabbed the photo."Yep, this was me 6 months ago. I keep it in my purse to remind me how far I've come."I looked very closely at her face and then the face in the photo just to be sure.But it was true, she had lost all this weight.From that moment, she had 100% of my attention.She told me about her friend Anthony Swailes."This guy doesn't do an in-person clinic where you have to wait for days. He actually does the same thing through Skype sessions. And the results are just unreal."She told me the story about how Anthony first discovered hypnosis when he was a soccer player who wanted go pro.In Australia, he was in the 5th division out of 10, which was pretty much "average" as far as amateurs go.Lessons and practice were not getting him anywhere.He needed to try something new... (just like I did).So he started researching hypnosis, NLP, timeline therapy, transcendental meditation, and many other mind-body practices.In a matter of months, he went from Division 5 to Division 1, all without changing anything in his practice!Soon other players noticed and started paying him for help... even though he had zero credentials at the time!Before he knew it, he was running a full clinic where he hypnotized soccer players into playing better and becoming the MVP's of their teams.He was happy to see these results, but at some point, he asked himself, "Is this all there is?"So he turned his attention to something more important:Anthony saw that there were millions of people all over the world...That were utterly frustrated with carrying ugly fat.He saw we were feeling bad about ourselves, losing confidence...And that a lot of us were just unhealthy too...And looking at major problems later in life if we didn't get this taken care of.Plus, he saw that a lot of hypnotherapists were doing it wrong... even if they were trying...A lot of hypnotists simply didn't have the full picture of what worked.So even though he already knew he could get results...He went to the Academy of Hypnotic Sciences and graduated...Just to be sure he knew everything he could about Hypnotic Weight Loss.I was blown away with what this woman was telling me.But I had to ask, "What does he do different from the other hypnotherapists?"She told me that it was very simple.And this was especially important if you wanted to lose weight without worrying about diet or exercise.Think about all the people you know that seem to eat whatever they want and never gain an ounce.And think about the people who have tried everything and still can't get rid of their ugly fat...Or who keep having the fat come back to their bellies and hips a month later.And this can be scientifically proven.Neuroscience and physiology have long known that your unconscious nervous system is what regulates your hormones and metabolism.

If your subconscious either believes that you don't "deserve" to lose weight...Or worse... that it's not "safe" yet to lose weight...Then it will do everything it can to sabotage your efforts.It can raise cortisol... your stress hormone... so you pack on more fat.It can lower your serotonin... so you get depressed and don't want to hit the gym.And it can speed up or slow down your metabolism.It can increase the level of "ghrelin," the hunger hormone... so you feel an insatiable desire to pound a huge bag of potato chips.So if you've ever found yourself binge-eating... know it'snot your fault!And if you did everything right and still didn't lose weight...Then your subconscious mind may have slowed your metabolism to keep you from losing weight.It's not fair, and it's not right.There is a good side to this too though.Once you have convinced your subconscious to lose weight... through hypnosis...Suddenly, you can "hack" your entire body.Your subconscious will now speed up your metabolism...So you can eat burgers, french fries and ice cream... and still burn fat, automatically.And when you do the right things while having your body cooperate... then you drop fat in record time...To the amazement of all your friends.This is what gets the "What happened to you??" reaction...when someone hasn't seen you for a while and is absolutely amazed at how good you look.Now I'm going to get into a little brain science here, so please bear with me.Because this is the missing key that so many hypnotherapists don't know.Do you know why most hypnosis does not work?It's because the brain is not in a receptive state.We have 3 basic different type of brainwaves while we're awake.The Theta state is what monks spend years... even decades trying to reach, through intense meditation.But 99% of therapists, coaches, and even hypnotists try to do their work when a client is in Beta state.That's when the subconscious has all of its defenses up.It's like a fortress that no one can get through.So of course hypnosis won't work then.Now you can meditate for a half hour and maybe get into an Alpha state.But that only gives you maybe 10% of what you can do in Theta state.And it's rare that anyone who's not a Buddhist Monk can get into Theta state right away.But thanks to the brand-new science of Cymatics, there is a breakthrough that can allow anyone to get into Theta State...Scientists discovered that if you get your Left Brain and Right Brain to synch together in their brainwaves...That you instantly and automatically reach that powerful Theta state.This means that your creative and logical minds work together...Instead of fight each other, which is what happens with most people.Most of the time, we're either daydreaming with our creative mind, or trying to figure stuff out with our logical mind...What the scientists found is that if you wear headphones...And give each ear finely tuned vibration frequencies... calledThat the two halves of your brain start to cooperate, and you're in this beautiful Theta state.That's where hypnosis actually works! This is the state where you can decide to effortlessly make more money... and everything works perfectly. It's also when you can make it easy to find your soulmate. And it's the state of mind where you can start dropping pounds of fat off your body... Right Away! A hypnotist can give your mind messages like..."You will love eating healthy foods." or "You can eat anything and still stay lean."And your mind will just accept it, if you're listening to these Cymatics at the time.Your subconscious mind will respond with... "Yes, I DO love eating healthy foods," and "Yes, I can eat anything I want and still look great."But if you're not listening to these Cymatics on your headphones...And a hypnotist tries to convince your mind to help you lose weight.

..Your subconscious will argue..."No, I hate vegetables!" or "No, I gain fat faster than all my friends!"See? It's not your fault if nothing you've done has worked so far.Your subconscious mind was fighting every step of the way...And you've done a brilliant job trying to lose weight the hard way.But now, it's time to make it easy.And once it's programmed in, you're done!You open your eyes and suddenly life is different.Your hormones start cooperating with you.Your body digests food faster than ever.And you start naturally and easily taking the healthy habits that will make a difference in your life.This is where it gets tricky.Most people will try to do a session or two and expect great results.And they will get great results... for a while.But the fact is that your subconscious mind is stubborn.This can make someone need to book dozens of sessions with the same hypnotist...That can be very expensive!But I found a way around that, (where the change is permanent in as fast as three weeks)...And I will show you how in just one moment.Because I don't think weightloss should be difficult or pricey.Remember, I've been in the same boat before, and it's not fun.After hearing this woman's story at the airport, I was sold."How do I work with him?" I asked.She gave me Anthony's contact info... but she warned me:"He is very busy, and rarely takes new clients. There is actually a waitlist."But I was dead set on working with this guy.I decided that I must have success.And that I won't let anything or anyone keep me from my weight loss goals.So I reached out to him, and immediately got a message to use his scheduling calendar online.He was booked up for 6 months already!I sent him an email, telling him my entire situation.I told him about the VIP line, my friends ditching me to go into the club...And about how painful it was to always be the "fat friend" in the group.I told him I would do "whatever it takes" to fix this problem and that he must help me.And this is the key for everyoneAre you willing to do that for your own success?Well, something about my VIP line story intrigued him...And he agreed to give me a session the following week, as long as I did everything he told me.My first session with him, I honestly can't remember.It was a whirlwind of words, music, and vibrations.He had me use a Skype call with him and use headphones...While he played the Cymatic frequencies into the call, and gave me quiet hypnotic suggestions I could barely hear.While I can't remember the specifics of the call itself...All I know is the next day... I had no desire to eat any junk food.Instead I had the lust for a carrot.I bit into it, and as I tasted the juiciness...I was shocked to find that I was enjoying vegetables more than I did ice cream and cookies.It wasn't that I thought junk food was gross now.It's just that I could have a dessert when it made sense, and didn't feel any need for it otherwise.I started enjoying going for walks, and soon, going to the gym.It didn't feel like a chore either.It was something I wanted to do.But what was interesting was, that even though I was naturally wanting to do things that made me lose weight...It turned out that even that wasn't necessary for Anthony's other clients.I talked to Anthony about other people he worked with.And many of his clients did absolutely nothing and STILL lost the same amount of weight.Anthony explained to me, "When you get in Theta state and command the subconscious to drop the weight, sometimes it just happens automatically."I was a little jealous of Anthony's other clients who seemed to magically drop the pounds.But I was still so happy with my results.I immediately booked my next session.I kept watching the pounds drop, and I didn't want to stop.Each time, I asked Anthony to explain more about the science of how this worked.Some part of my soul felt that it would be my mission to help others do the same thing, so I wanted to learn all I could.I continued to watch my fat disappear until I was a full 3 dress sizes lower.

I was so thrilled, and my friends could barely recognize me.Well, I should call them "ex-friends."Let's just say that once I dropped all that weight...My confidence boosted up...And I knew I would NEVER settle for friends who would abandon me at the VIP line.Now, things are better than ever.I have a new relationship with a man who respects me, and I feel amazing about myself.I also found new loyal friends who deeply care about me and treat me the way I know I deserve.The good news is that you don't have to book a session with Anthony to get the same results.So worth it, but very very expensive.One session wasn't enough, because if you don't keep conditioning your subconscious mind to help you lose weight...Your old programming will kick in again, and the pounds will just come back.And at some point, whether a few weeks or a couple months...Your subconscious finally goes "Ok, this is permanent, I'm happy with staying lean and fit."And from that moment on, you're FREE!Your body has now made it the "default" to be lean and sexy.So everything you do from now on will just support that goal, automatically.Once I had reached my own goal, I decided it was time to help others.One night, I was messaging with Anthony over Skype and said, "Aren't most of your sessions the same?"I said, "Then why don't you record them and sell them?"He said, very seriously to me..."Are you kidding? Why would anyone need to book a session if I gave recordings away?"I explained very simply to him:"Look, you can only see so many people a month anyway. If you put these on MP3, you can help thousands of people. You'll charge a lot less, but make a lot more."He did the math and realized that yes...Even if he charged a lot lower for the session recordings, he would still make as much or more if he sold sessions for everyone."They can play it as much as they want, so it's worth SO much more than that" he said.These recordings are worth thousands of dollars...If something can make you drop dozens of pounds... easily... effortlessly...And possibly without you even having to diet and exercise...But I don't think that weight loss is only for the rich.So I was able to negotiate him down.We agreed he'd make 3 sessions that the person could listen to again and again.And after a few weeks, be done.So weight loss would be on autopilot from then on.There was one other tweak he needed to make."I'm going to use subliminal technology for this," He said."This means the words are buried behind the Cymatic vibrations and the music...So your conscious mind won't hear it... but your subconscious mind will."I asked why. I was curious because in my sessions with him, I could hear his voice.It was so quiet, I almost couldn't hear it. But I could still make out a few words.He explained that the reason for this is..."If someone pays to book a session with me personally, I've talked to them already and they fully trust me... so their subconscious mind will be more likely to follow."However, since you haven't met Anthony yet, the best way for your mind to use this, is to hear these sessions subliminally.This way, to your conscious mind, all you think you're hearing is beautiful music... or a calming babbling brook.And your subconscious... while in Theta state... will hear the subliminal messages underneath.First, Anthony showed me some articles from Neuroscience of Consciousness and Psychology Today explaining how it works.Then he told me about the time he created a subliminal recording to help a competitive swimmer.The swimmer would play the recording in his bedroom at night while in bed with his wife, and it just sounded like beautiful music to them both. They couldn't even hear his voice giving the hypnotic suggestions.What happened next was incredible.The swimmer started getting better at his times, winning first place in competitions...But his wife... who didn't even care about swimming... also became a better swimmer.And was even having dreams of being a dolphin!This was all the proof I needed that subliminal recordings work.

But you'll get to prove this for yourself, and at no risk to your bank account.If you act right now, as in right right now...You can have the entire program at just the low price below.This is a tiny fraction of what it costs to even book a single session with Anthony himself...and a good 95% cheaper than booking all the sessions I did.Click the button below to get started.Each recording is only 15 minutes, and all you have to do is listen to one recording a day.No diet, no exercise, no nothing.Now if you get inspired to eat something healthy or work out...There are cases where people magically have all the weight drop, while watching TV and eating ice cream.And there are other cases where people wake up and just love going to the gym, doing yoga, hiking, and eating natural healthy foods.You won't know which category you're in until you try.I was in the second category.I found that I loved to go out into nature and hike.And I developed a love for vegetables without having to do anything.And I'll be totally honest.No matter how skinny you get, you will always be happier and healthier if you enjoy exercising and eating healthy foods.So there's nothing wrong with doing it the "old fashioned way"...Once you have changed your brain to make you want to work out and eat right.How sure am I about this?Well, I talked to Anthony about it, and he made one thing very clear:"If someone doesn't reach their perfect weight, I don't want their money."So for 15 Minute Weight Loss, we are giving a full 60-Day Money Back Guarantee.Just take 15 minutes a day and see how it changes your life.You can skip a few sessions if you need to, but the more you do, the better.See how your life changes over the next two months.Step on the scale once a week, or just wait until the end of the 60 days if you like.If you don't find yourself dramatically losing weight, looking better in the mirror, and feeling absolutely amazing about yourself...If your friends aren't grabbing you and asking, "What are you doing differently?"If you're not turning heads when you walk in the mall or down the street.Then just email me and we'll send you every penny back.You don't have to prove anything. We just appreciate you taking the time to try it out.But the worst thing you could do is not give it a chance.It's 15 minutes a day, listening to beautiful music... or a calming babbling brook.It's shorter than any grocery trip...Shorter than any workout...Shorter than even preparing a healthy salad most of the time.Either you'll start dropping weight almost magically...Or you're feel the enthusiastic desire to go do something nice with your body, and get incredible results.I can't tell you which path will happen for you, but either are wonderful.So if you find yourself losing 20 pounds and say, "I'm not satisfied because 15-Minute Weight Loss only made me love to diet and exercise perfectly."...Then sure, email me for a full refund if you like.But seriously, whether you end up losing weight "magically,"Or simply having the natural desire to take care of your body...You're going to be so happy you got 15-Minute-Weight Loss for your fitness, your health, and your life.So, click the button below right now, to get started.And just to make things even sweeter for you...I got Anthony to put 3 EXTRA SPECIAL BONUSES...Listen to this 15-minute recording right before bed... andIf you have any trouble sleeping, any trouble at all...Then this one bonus will be worth the entire program for you.Because you'll be so much more relaxed from getting a good night's sleep.You'll have so much more energy during your day...And having all that stress and disappear from insomnia... I'd say that's worth anything.So Anthony is being super-kind by throwing in this bonus for FREE.You have to act NOW to get it because he's really going on a limb offering it.Click the button below to get it immediately.Look, the fact is that most likely the weight you want to lose will not disappear overnight.But you can start looking more beautiful right away.

This is because what makes you attractive, charismatic, and flat out gorgeous...Is based on a lot more than your weight.It's how much tension or relaxation you have in your facial muscles.And the wonderful news is that you can start expressing yourself in an incredibly alluring way when you get your subconscious on board.So Anthony recorded a special subliminal session to make you feel and exude attractiveness right away.If you've ever had a night where you just feel "in the zone," super-sexy, and that everyone's looking at you...This audio will give you that same power.Click the button below to lock in your bonuses and get started with 15 Minute Weight Loss.The fact is we can all carry a lot of stress in our face and body...And that makes us create wrinkles, grey hairs, skin conditions, and other things that make us look older than we are...Or at least look older than we have to look.We also get told by friends, family, and the media that when we get older we're "supposed" to lose our physical youth with that.But you can reverse all of that!In this special subliminal recording, Anthony will train your subconscious to smooth out those wrinkles, relax your face....And you'll find that your friends start asking you what beauty treatment you're using...Because they'll feel like you suddenly look 5 years younger.And when you drop the stress, you'll see your hair comes out fuller, better colored, and more lustrous as well...But only if you get 15 Minute Weight Loss right now.Click the button below to get started.So what are you waiting for?What will it be like to be your perfect shape?Do you think it might add some juiciness to your current relationship, to have a sexier body?Or if you're single, do you think you might be more likely to find the perfect partner, if you get in great shape?Think about how much better you're going to move, feel, and live...If you drop that nasty extra weight that 100% of doctors and scientists agree is unhealthy.And think about your confidence.For me personally, losing weight was the best thing I ever did for my self-esteem.I feel better about myself than ever, and can truly look in the mirror and know I love myself.And that's the greatest thing of all.Any attention you get from others is just a nice cherry on top of an amazing life.So click the button below to begin your new life of easy fat loss and looking great.Remember that this option won't be open forever to you.If Anthony decides "You know, I'd rather just go back to only booking personal sessions"...Then this web page is GONE.You won't be able to find it anywhere.You find another hypnotist's product, but it won't have the Cymatic frequencies that really make the weight loss happenJust to maybe get what you would have gotten for the tiny investment below.Would you pay that kind of money on a “maybe”?Or would you rather try out 15 Minute Weight Loss today, for a tiny little investment that is not even the cost of a dinner at a fine restaurant.Remember that this is 100% money-back guaranteed.There is literally NO RISK to you.There’s no other program out there that’s like 15 Minute Weight Loss.This is the solution that you’ve been waiting for, to lose weightAnd if you don't like the program, you get to keep the "Deep Sleep" Bonus anyway!That means a lifetime of great sleep... just for trying it out!AND you get to keep "Look Great at Any Weight" and "Look Younger Now" recordings as well.But you do have to take action right now.Don't let your body down, don't let your health down...And please... don't let yourself down.This is your magic moment. Please take it.Click the button below to get your fat-releasing items immediately.I know you probably have some questions.So let me just see if I can cover some of them.A: Yes. There are countless scientific studies done on the effectiveness of “talking to the brain” using external brainwave frequencies.In fact, the research proves that using different brainwave frequencies can have a profound impact on EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of your life,including health, love and your overall happiness.

But the added element of hypnosis… or guided meditation…takes the scientifically-proven studies that back using external brainwave frequencies… and puts them on steroids.We’re using the theta brainwave frequency to access your subconscious mind.That’s not woo-woo, made up, pseudo-science; it’s a scientifically-proven FACT.And the added benefits of hypnosis “talk to” your limiting beliefs and stories about your body,and rewrites them with new, empowering conditioning that will change the way you see food and fitness.It’s that NEW conditioning that naturally directs your attention towards the body you really want…So you can start FINALLY sculpting the body you want.15 Minute Weight Loss helps you focus your attention onto the body you want, making it infinitely easier… and faster… to HAVE IT.A: The reason is simple. You are currently limited by your subconscious mind’s programming (your beliefs, judgments), period.Every diet works, every exercise program works... but if your subconscious is forcing you to crave McCheeseburgers all day and see exercise as some massively painful thing to do...Then no matter how good the diet and contraption are, you simply cannot sculpt a healthy, sexy body.That’s what 15 Minute Weight Loss does for you.It reprograms your subconscious, whereas those other programs could never even access your subconscious.15 Minute Weight Loss is the only weight loss program developed around cutting-edge brain science.So for the first time in your entire life...It’s not only POSSIBLE to get into amazing shape and have an incredibly sexy body…And when I say easy, I don’t mean everything just falls into your lap. Because that’s not actually what you want.Instead, you’ll experience one magical, miraculous breakthrough after the other.And you’re going to become someone who makes decisions based on what FEELS good, not what you “believe” you can or can’t do.That’s the inevitable transformation you’ll go through, when you watch your body change… as your subconscious is “rewritten.”A: You literally take zero risk with 15 Minute Weight Loss.You have a full 60-day guarantee!If at any point during that 60-day period, you decide it’s not for you,you can return it for a full refund. Every penny.No hassle...not a single question.Your satisfaction is 100% guaranteed!A: Well, right now, all that “learning” is part of what’s holding you back...until your subconscious is reprogrammed. Then...With new subconscious programming from 15 Minute Weight Loss,your subconscious will ACTIVATE much of that previous learning and training.A: Every person is different...and every brain responds differently to 15 Minute Weight Loss.Some experience powerful results the very first moment they put their headphones on.We ask that you use as directed: 15 minutes a day for 21 days before you fully evaluate your results.Keep this in mind: the results become cumulative.The longer...and more consistently...you use 15 Minute Weight Loss, the more dramatic your results will be.A: Yes, but not in the way you might think.First off, stop thinking about diet and exercise as separate “thing,” and just put them in the context of a lifestyle.Remember, your body is always becoming… WHERE your subconscious mind’s attention is focused… right now. No exceptions.All you need to do is clear away the toxic OLD STORY from your subconscious, and ALLOW 15 Minute Weight Loss’ reprogramming to reveal itself, effortlessly.A: I get this one a lot, because the idea of hypnosis scares some people.Now, the short answer is, absolutely not.There isn’t a single negative side-effect to using 15 Minute Weight Loss.If there was, I wouldn’t be offering it to you, right now.there has never been so much as a documented complaint about ANY negative side-effects.Nor has there ever been a single complaint from 15 Minute Weight Loss users.Virtually 100% of our customers who use this kind of subconscious reprogramming process report significant positive changes in as little as the first week.Nobody

ever once taught you HOW to direct your subconscious attention…Or that it’s your subconscious that determines what your body will look like.Now, the moment you take charge of your attention…You become the captain of your ship, so to speak, for probably the very first time in your life.The person you are, right now, won’t be joining you on your journey.In fact, the person you are, right now, will cease to exist.In the place of who you presently are…Will be someone who ONLY tells the story about his or her UNLIMITED Natural State of physical vitality and health.Who you are, right now, will hardly recognize the person you become; the person capable of ALLOWING into your life…The health and vitality you were created for.And if you don’t agree with me after using 15 Minute Weight Loss for yourself…We will refund every penny, no questions asked.A: Yes. Our site employs 256-bit encryption technologies using Secure Sockets Layer (SSL) from trusted vendors like Verisign and Thawte to encrypt sensitive data.Your personal information could not be safer.Click the button below to get your fat-releasing items immediately. [ad_2] Click here to get 15 Minute Weight Loss at discounted price while it's still available... All orders are protected by SSL encryption – the highest industry standard for online security from trusted vendors. 15 Minute Weight Loss is backed with a 60 Day No Questions Asked Money Back Guarantee. If within the first 60 days of receipt you are not satisfied with Wake Up Lean™, you can request a refund by sending an email to the address given inside the product and we will immediately refund your entire purchase price, with no questions asked.

[patrickxpearson]

Dealing with Kane was like dealing with fire. One got too close and they would end up burnt to the bone. It was such a turn-on for Patrick to see someone matching his own tease as easily as breathing. With Kane… he didn’t need to keep up the appearance of a good guy that was merely there to help others. That would bore the living shit out of the security guard and they couldn’t have that – could they? There was just something about Kane that brought out a slightly more predatory and dominant side of the personal trainer. The challenges flying back and forth between them were as good as any sort of foreplay. They were both aware of the effect their words held. They both knew exactly what to say or even do to plant that little seed inside the other person’s mind. All they needed to do after… was wait for it to bloom. “I can have anyone as my personal bitch if I wanted, darlin’…” Patrick’s head tilted to the side, slightly amused by Kane’s choice of words. Was he fishing for compliments now? Wanting some sort of reassurance that even when they fucked –that he wouldn’t be just like any other whore around the island? The amount of provocation that flew back and forth between them already made Kane stand at a level that other men could only dream to accomplish. It wouldn’t just be a one-time fuck everything encounter. After all, Kane knew all the rules of that game. Give just enough to have them coming back. A sure way to guarantee that those with less willpower than him would want him more often than not. Patrick had done that so many times in the past that he could see through Kane’s actions. “Are ye’ worried that once we fuck I’ll lose interest in ye’? That all I want is for ye’ to be my bitch?” Long fingers remained nestled on Kane’s crotch and Patrick let out a little hum of curiosity at the other man’s words. He was truly playing with fire there and he would make Kane’s heat and intensity every step of the way. No more playing coy. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Those were boring after a while. “If yer’ everythin’ I hope ye’ll be… there’s no way this will be a one-time thing. I know and ye’ know it. I want ye’ for more than makin’ yer’ ass bounce on my dick, darlin’… who else challenges me ‘round ‘ere like ye’? No one.” And to prove his damn point after Kane implied that he had doubts whether or not is cock was worth dropping on his knees for – Patrick kept his best poker pace – stoic to the maximum – as he used his free hand to unbutton his pants and pull them down just enough to give the blonde a little preview of what he was packing. That didn’t mean Kane would drop on his knees now… but it would plant the idea on his mind. A win-win scenario.

“How ‘bout we stop playin’ games?” His voice dropped to a barely audible whisper as Patrick leaned in to brush his own lips against Kane’s. Shit – he could feel the electricity between them and it was taking everything he had not to pick the security guard up and fuck him against the nearest wall. “My cabin. Tonight. Ye’ bring yer’ A-Game, I bring mine and we’ll see who comes out on top.” Such a suitable choice of words. “Ye’ might clear yer’ schedule for tomorrow mornin’. Yer’ not leavin’ ‘till I fee ye’ breakfast straight for the source.” Kane also liked to play with fire – let us see if he could handle the heat. “No more games, darlin’. Just the two of us. Bet ye’ have used yer’ hand thinkin’ ‘bout me more than enough.” Patrick knew he did. “By this night’s end… ye’ll be beggin’ for me to make ye’ mine over and over and over again… And I will.”

There was this back and forth that seemed to happen so effortlessly with Patrick, and that was part of the reason Kane had sought him out so quickly upon his return: the challenge. The two of them were both stubborn, both knew what they wanted from their time at the Haus and the selection of men at hand. They also both knew that the other wasn't going to be the first one to go along with everything that was happening in their heads. Kane's fantasies about Patrick were different than Patrick's fantasies about Kane, or at least they had been at the old location, unless Patrick had a sudden change of heart, the heat of the island getting to his head and unlocking an unexpected submissive streak. That would be ideal when they finally got to the nitty gritty, but in the meantime, the teasing, the intricate foreplay the two did with their words was more than enough, enough to help scope out weaknesses and ways into the others mind, ready to play more games.

Even physically they challenged each other, Patrick's bulkier frame enough of a contrast to Kane's more lithe build but they worked so well together in this continued close contact, Patrick able to hold Kane in place but Kane still able to snake himself around just as easily. Equally matched. A hand on the jaw prompting a tighter squeeze on the crotch, perfect power exchange. Any harder on eithers grip and something could break. "Ye know I'd be sad if ye only wanted me fer yer personal bitch. That shit's too simple." This wasn't about bottoming for the first time with someone different, this was about control, control of their own little worlds and their own desires, and how close to compatibility they were despite the clash of ideas. Although, interesting that Patrick wasn't about to force Kane into anything, when any other client would be throwing the cash at the system with an endless list of things that Kane would be obligated to participate in. "An' who's t'say I'd actually get on me knees fer ya? We still got a right t'say no. An' I ain't convinced yer cock is worth me scuffin' my knees, whether I wanna be doin' it or not."

But something about the confidence oozing from Patrick's every pore, the certainty that he was going to get what he wanted in the end, with Kane begging desperately for it, it was powerful, and it was the level that Kane saw himself on, knew that this was what he must look like when playing his own games with the others. "Keep thinkin' 'bout me beggin' fer it darlin', imagine the words, 'cause what yer hearin' in yer head ain't gonna be what yer hearin' in real life." He released his grip on Patrick's jaw but didn't move away from the hold the other had on his crotch, unashamedly enjoying the pressure. "But good t'know ye missed me. Nice t'hear ye admit it. Maybe I'm more in yer head than ye think."

And wouldn't that be a damn shame.

[loverhymeswith]

For the kissing prompts, “ permission to lean in? “ “ permission granted. “ for Rick Flag please! 💖

For the Longest Time | Rick Flag x F!Reader

Summary: You find Rick in the ruins of Jotunheim.

Word Count: 1.5k words

Warnings: Whump, description of injury, blood, TSS spoilers

A/N: Thank you for the request @a-reader-and-a-writer 💖 Despite the nature of the prompt, it felt fitting to make this a little whumpy! 😅

This isn’t the first time you’ve cradled Rick Flag's broken body in your lap as you await an evac, and you’re smart enough to know that if he makes it through this, it probably won’t be the last.

“Stay with me, Flag," you mutter, fingertips idly carding through the filthy locks of hair plastered to his brow by blood, sweat, and quite possibly your own tears.

Your voice is low, your throat dry and sore from all the dust and all the screaming, but he still manages to hear you.

“‘M not goin’ anywhere, darlin’.”

You wish you could believe him.

The heart-stopping relief at finding Rick alive, albeit buried amidst the ruins of Jotunheim, had been overshadowed by the amount of blood he’d lost. You don't need a doctor to tell you he's in bad shape. Crimson blooms across the centre of his chest, staining the ridiculous yellow t-shirt that you'd been teasing him about only hours earlier. Before everything went to shit.

Going back for Rick after the fall of Jotunheim had meant going directly against Amanda Waller’s orders. You suspect if you’d had a nano-bomb in your skull like the criminals in your squad, she wouldn’t have hesitated to put an end to your rescue attempt. You also suspect that had her voice not disappeared, only to be replaced instead by the clipped tone of Emilia Harcourt, you wouldn't have an evac helo on its way to you with trained medics on board.

There's no doubt that when the two of you finally make it back to US soil, Waller will have more than a few choice words for you. But for now, she is the least of your concerns.

You attempt to focus on Rick, though your vision is clouded by tears. His face is pale and drawn with pain. His eyelids flutter, like it's taking every drop of his willpower just to stay awake.

“You’re gonna be ok, you hear me?” You continue to stroke Rick’s temple, while your other hand, now sticky with blood, presses against his wound in a feeble attempt to slow the bleeding.

Rick’s not the only one that you’re trying to reassure. Cleo and Dubois are standing over you, silently watching on in fear.

For the first time in all your years working with the squad, you wish you were one of them. You wish you had power - real power, not just a title from the US government giving you permission to kill for your country - anything that might save Rick, because the truth is, you don't think you can live without him.

For the longest time, he's been your colonel and your friend, the only other person who truly understands how lonely this life can be. Leading criminals and monsters into battle for the good of the country takes its toll, but Rick has always been by your side - indestructible. It's inconceivable that this could ever change.

His breathing starts to rattle. You've watched men die before - the sound still haunts you - so you know he’s running out of time. Where the hell is the helo!? But shouting and screaming won't do any good now. What you need is a miracle.

Drawing a deep, desperate breath of your own, you lower your head so that only Rick can hear. "Don't leave me. Please."

Slowly but surely his big hand rises until it rests heavily over your own - over the spot where you continue to apply pressure to his chest.

“Need to… need to tell you… somethin’.” You can hear from his voice, low and rasping, that every word is a struggle.

"Whatever it is, it can wait. Save your energy." It's not your intention for the words to sound so harsh; you don't mean it like that. But you're at your wits end.

I can't lose you.

Rick meets your gaze, forcing a faint half-smile. His eyes are glassy and bloodshot, but even now you can see that familiar spark of charm. The same charm that first won you over when you were appointed as his Lieutenant six years ago.

"'M startin' to think…to think it can't wait. If I'm dyin'... then I need you to know-"

You refuse to let him finish, smoothing a hand along his jaw. "You're not dying, Rick. Not like this."

His blunt nails dig into your skin as he groans your name. "For once in your life… would you… would you just listen to me?"

Choking back a sob, you nod, thoroughly chastised. Following Rick’s orders has never been your strong point, despite your position. He pretends it bothers him, but secretly you've always thought he likes the challenge.

You can feel tears trailing a scorching path along your filthy cheeks, before they fall onto Rick’s arm, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “I'm tryin' to tell you…there’s worse ways to go… than dyin’ in the arms of… of the woman I love.”

If you didn't know better, you would swear at that moment your own heart stops beating. The world stops turning. Rick’s last word is almost masked by the drone of the approaching helo, but you hear it loud and clear.

…the woman I love.

You're too stunned to question it, too relieved by the arrival of help. Your response - the only response - dies on your lips.

I love you, too.

Forty-eight long hours pass before you finally burst through the painted grey doors and into the hospital room. They had tried to keep you from entering - tried to keep you from seeing him - but in the end it was no use. They should know by now, when it comes to Rick Flag, you'll move heaven and earth.

Or at the very least, you won't hesitate to threaten Harcourt and Economos with a very large and very loaded gun.

You approach the bed with caution, disposing of your weapon on the vacant armchair. Swallowing nervously at the sight of so many wires and tubes everywhere, you reach Rick. He's awake, hazel eyes flashing in recognition as he tries to remove the oxygen mask.

You take over from his fumbling fingers, gingerly loosening the strap and pulling the mask below his jaw so that he’s free to speak.

"You're here." His voice is hoarse and even deeper than usual, but it sounds like music to your ears.

"Where else would I be?" you scoff, tightly gripping the bed rails. You don't want him to notice the way you're shaking. You don't want him to know that you've been on the edge of your seat for two days, waiting to hear if he was going to pull through from the surgery. Two days without sleep or food. He'll only worry about you.

"Thought they mighta shipped you back to Belle Reve by now."

"Without you? Like to see them try." You force a smirk, choosing to leave out the fact that they did try.

Rick starts to chuckle, but his face immediately creases with pain. It's second nature now, the way your hand shoots out to stroke his brow. His eyelids flutter at the contact, and you stand like that for a moment, drinking in the sight of him, silently reassuring yourself that he's here. That he's OK.

"You saved me."

His voice draws you out of your churning thoughts and you remove your hand. "Don't sound so surprised."

"'M not surprised. You're always savin' me."

You grin widely at that. "It's kinda my job, you know."

Rick narrows his eyes. "There was me thinkin' you just wanted to get the last word in."

Truthfully, amidst the worry and the fear, you haven't been able to stop thinking about Rick’s last words to you - haven't been able to stop wondering whether he meant them, or if it was nothing more than pain-fuelled delirium.

…the woman I love.

"Who says I didn't."

I love you, too.

Rick must notice the way you're gripping the bed rail again, because he reaches for your hand. "Think I'd remember your response to somethin' like that."

The combination of his words, and the feeling of his warm hand wrapped around yours, sets your pulse soaring. Utterly out of your depth when it comes to this new side of Rick, you choose to play dumb. "Something like what?"

His brow creases, but the flicker in his eyes assures you that it's from exasperation rather than pain this time. "You really gonna make me say it again?"

Yes. Say it again. Please.

Your voice drops to a whisper, even though it's just the two of you. "Only if you meant it."

"Oh, I meant it darlin'. I love you. Have done, for the longest time."

A happy gasp escapes from your trembling lips, and you blink back tears. Is this real? Can you dare to let yourself believe that he really feels this way about you…

Rick interrupts your thoughts for the second time in as many minutes. "This is the part where you say somethin'. Or you know, you could just kiss me…"

By some small miracle, you manage to steady your voice when you reply. "Permission to lean in, Colonel?"

Rick grins, and you think it might just be the most beautiful sight you've ever seen. "Permission granted."

Joel Taglist: @a-reader-and-a-writer @babblydrabbly @skvatnavle @sociiallydiisoriiented @heresathreebee @yespolkadotkitty @edwardbaldwin @fairchildflag @weallhaveadestiny @lavenderluna10 @mayhem24-7forever @immyownlittlebitch @s-u-t @katjnordstrom96 @kirsteng42 @phoenixhalliwell @bewitchedignition

[eijishimas]

midnight snack.

18+ nsfw content, minors dni. all characters are aged up.

masterlist.

content warnings: oral sex (f!receiving), penetrative sex, unprotected sex (use protection irl pls!), quirk use (electro stimulation), a hint of overstim, & a sprinkle of degradation. f!reader.

notes: all i could think about while writing this was “and they were roommates! ohmygod they were roommates.” also thank u bria ( @rekiri ) & sun ( @kiridarling ) for keeping me sane while writing this, ily both <3

wc: 3.0k

You rarely got hungry in the middle of the night. You usually went to bed full of food cooked by yourself or ordered takeout by your roommate, Denki. Tonight was different, however. You had been working on a project, one that was taking up far too much of your time due to your incompetent group members causing you to pick up the slack. You had been stressed beyond belief lately because of them. Maybe a small stretch would help clear your mind, you reasoned to yourself internally. While you were at it, a midnight snack wouldn’t be too bad. It would help ease your nerves, even. You stood from your desk, stretching your arms above your head and cracking the joints of your shoulders. Now exiting your room, you threw a glance across the hallway to see the light under your roommate’s door was still on. Of course he was staying up again, when did he not? Probably off playing video games with the guys again.

You yawned, bare feet pattering against the hardwood of your apartment floor on your way to the kitchen. You shivered, wearing only a cropped sweater you had thrifted and a pair of your comfiest shorts. So what if they were a little short on you, they did the job of keeping you comfy while you slept. No one besides Denki saw you in them, mostly because you wore them to bed. Opening the fridge door, you cringed at the harsh lighting hitting you square in the face. You bent over, eyes scanning the bottom shelf for something to pique your interest. Since you figured Denki was in his room, you didn’t bother to bend your knees while you were searching for your snack.

“Uh- I uh, whatcha lookin’ for?” Denki’s voice cracked slightly. What were the odds? Your head whipped up so fast from the fridge, you nearly knocked into the door of it. Your face began to overheat as you saw your roommate standing there in his pyjamas, fighting off his own blush as he looked at you. Had he seen how your shorts rode up your ass, giving the perfect view of the lace black panties you had been wearing that night? Maybe. The answer was most definitely a yes, but he wasn’t going to admit that to you. He really didn’t want to die by your hands.

“I was, well I was grabbing some water,” you fumbled for your words as Denki approached you, moving around the bar counter of your apartment to peer into the fridge himself from behind you. His hair was damp, sticking to his forehead indicating that he had just hopped out of the shower. No kidding, he had used your fruit passion shampoo along with lemon scented body wash again. You felt his hot breath on the back of your neck from how close he was to you, your tongue wetting your lips as you tried to ease your building nerves. You were never so nervous around him, he was your roommate and your best friend. The two of you had always been comfortable around each other.

You stood perfectly still, razor focused on the fruit cup on the top shelf to distract your mind that was buzzing with electricity. He smelled so good. He felt awfully warm. And he was incredibly close to you, so much so that you could hear his own inner monologue if you listened hard enough. You were so caught up in your thoughts that your mind barely registered that his hands were sitting comfortably on your waist. “Hey,” Denki spoke up, “Did you wear that for me?”

Processing his words, there was a tiny heat that began to burn low in your stomach. “I’m sorry?” you squeaked out.

“The black lacy ones. The ones that make me want to eat you out on the counter until you’re screaming. Did you wear those for me?” his voice was low, whispering deliciously into your ear. Sinful thoughts were clouding your mind, your previous intentions of getting a snack now lost to the idea of possibly choking on something else entirely tonight. “Denki—” His hands slipped beneath your shirt, stopping just below your breasts. You were starting to feel something hard poking at the cheek of your ass. Your breath hitched, thighs clenching together in an attempt to tame the growing heat between them. The two of you had been dancing around the notion of having feelings for each other for a long time.

You tried to look the other way every time he would stare at you for just a small bit longer than he should. He pretended to not notice the way you sat so very close to him, despite the entire couch being free. The way your fingertips brushed his thighs when you leaned over him to grab the remote. The way his touch lingered on your hip when he went to pass behind you while you cooked dinner together, his palms warm and jittery. Everything clicked together so perfectly for the two of you, it was beginning to become undeniable and almost comical at this point.

Tonight only made you more desperate for some type of release, since all of the previous tension between the two of you had crescendoed into Denki moulding his lips to your neck and sucking deep purple marks in a lovely pattern against your hot skin. Your legs felt weak, a strained moan escaping you. Between the cool air of the open fridge and his hands exploring your torso, it felt like heaven. His fingers pinched and pulled at your nipples eagerly, his name falling off your tongue as if second nature. You wanted him bad. And he wanted nothing more than to strip you of your clothes and have you right there in the kitchen.

Your legs quivered as he touched you, allowing yourself to lean back against him and succumb to his affection. “I’ve been waiting to do this for so long, baby,” the confidence radiating off the blond was dripping right into his tone. It made more of that liquid heat manifest in your lower half. You were quite certain that those lacy black panties Denki had been talking about now had a wet patch from all of his ministrations. His hands kept massaging at your breasts, small whimpers leaving your lips as you whispered out how you needed more from him. You panted, craning your neck to the side to give him more access to your skin. Your hips seemed to move on their own as you wiggled your ass right up against his prominent hard on. “Fuck,” he swore, fingers dipping into your shorts and past the waistline of your underwear to feel your slick. You were soaking from his touches, thighs shaking and fingers finding purchase in blond locks as his finger pad grazed your aching clit. “More,” you whined with need, “I wanna.. I wanna touch you, please.”

Denki’s mind felt like it was melting. Was this a dream? He never wanted to wake up if that was the case. He inserted a finger into your core, heart fluttering upon hearing you moan out for him again. Your walls hugged his single digit, his dick twitching at the sensation. You were feeling unbearably sensitive for some reason that night, the way his thumb drew circles around your clit paired with his finger reaching within you made your head light. “You’re so greedy, look at you fucking yourself on my fingers. Moaning like that for me. From how much you walk around like a little slut, you had this coming,” Denki nibbled at the lobe of your ear before adding a second digit, curling his fingers and further sending you into your pleasure. “Denki,” you called out again, head tossed against his shoulder, ass rubbing right against his dick in ways that made his head spin. “You’re so wet, do you hear that? Holy fuck, I can’t wait to taste you,” Denki’s words made the coil inside the pit of your stomach snap, your first orgasm of the night finally washing over you as you clenched around his fingers. It took all of Denki’s willpower not to cum in his boxers right then and there. Falling against him for support, your hips lazily rolled against his digits to ride out your high.

“Up on the counter babe, we’re not done yet. I’m still feeling a bit hungry,” he murmured into your ear. The two of you backed away from the fridge, leaving the door open to allow some light in the darkened kitchen. You turned to face him, seeing a bit of a loopy smile on his face despite his lust blown pupils. You wasted no time in connecting your lips, tongue sliding into his mouth with ease. Your body pressed his against the cool granite of the counter, his hands drifting lower down your back to meet the flesh of your ass. He tapped your ass a couple times, his fingers pinching at the fabric of your thin shorts. “You won’t be needing these,” he chuckled deeply against your lips. His drop in octave made you shiver. Your own hands mapped out his body, feeling across his abs that he prided himself on as a pro-hero while your other went right for his cock.

Your excited fingers pulled down his gray sweatpants along with his boxers, his cock springing free from its confines. There was a lovely amount of precum beading atop his reddening head, your thumb swirling the natural lube around his tip. The action elicited a groan from the blond, grabbing a bit harder at your ass. You were gentle, teasing even, your eyes glazed over in lust as your hand pumped his dick at a slow tempo. Denki’s hips began to fuck into your hand, his chest heaving as he took this time to shed himself of his t-shirt. He felt entranced by how your fingers looked so delicate fisting his cock, breath hitching in his throat as your wrist rolled with each stroke of his dick. “Do you know how— fuck — how long I’ve waited for this?” Denki’s words are gentle, his neck craning back down to nip at your exposed skin.

“Too long?”

“Way too long.”

You giggled and he groaned, a low rumble against your soft skin that makes you shiver yet again. You smirked with amusement as you felt him pulse in your hand, yet Denki pulled away from your touch just as you were about to tip him over the line to his own orgasm. “You, you first,” he told you, golden eyes trained on yours, “I like seeing you come undone for me.”

A whimper escaped you, his grin hungry with want for you and only you. “Let’s see how good you taste,” he pressed a final kiss to your lips as he eagerly dropped to his knees. With a shy look in your eyes, you allowed your legs to spread, giving Denki a full view of your pretty pussy. He was practically salivating, eyes taking in your wet sex with a strange fire lit behind them. He was eating good tonight. With your fingers threading in his hair and tugging lightly, he took it as his signal to go. You sucked in a gasp of surprise as something cool touched your already slick entrance. Oh, you had forgotten that Denki had a fucking tongue piercing.

Instinctively, your thighs started to close around Denki’s head. He held them open with ease, the metal ball of his piercing following the tip of his tongue as he happily traced your entrance. “Denki,” you huffed, growing frustrated at his languid pace. For a man who seemed rather eager, he was going very slowly. Denki hummed in response, lips now attached to your clit and you felt your body jolt at the feeling. Fuck. Maybe you should have bit your tongue instead. Channeling electricity through his quirk, you felt a shock emitted from the tiny piece of metal in his mouth to your aching clit. “Denki!” you moaned, eyelids fluttering as you struggled to keep your gaze on him. Your hands kept pulling at his semi-damp hair, rutting your hips as best as you could into his face as your heart beat rapidly in your chest. You felt ten times hotter than you did when you first entered the kitchen, your hands expelling your own sleep shirt to the floor as Denki moaned at the sight of your exposed tits. This gave him the opportunity to push his tongue into your pussy, your toes curling at the sensation of his tongue entering your heat. He had his fun, darting his tongue in and out of you as he kept moaning to keep up the tiny vibrations. Moving his bangs away from his eyes, you could only watch as he ate you out with his skilled muscle.

His tongue reached deeper inside of you, his hands holding your thighs apart firmly as they were threatening to clamp around his head with more force. You hadn’t anticipated that Denki would be this fucking good with his mouth. Your inner walls squeezed around him, your moans picking up in volume. Your nipples were peaked, your back arched and your head thrown back as all you could do was continuously grind your hips against his face. This only edged the blond further, his nose stimulating your swollen clit as his tongue delved as far as it could into your dripping cunt. You nearly screamed his name as you were finally tipped over the edge, your chest heaving as Denki suckled at your sensitive lower lips. He drank your essence happily, your body prickling with heat as he drew back to watch in awe at how your pussy fluttered invitingly around nothing. He was drunk on the feeling of you cumming on his mouth. You two were definitely doing that again.

As you steadily regulated your breathing, Denki slowly got up from his position on the floor. Wiping away a bit of your cum from the corner of his mouth, he threw you another grin. You swallowed dryly, “Need you.”

“What was that, baby?”

“Need you, Den. I need you in.. Please.” Your eyes were begging him to give you more. You had seen how much his cock had been leaking onto the kitchen floor, practically throbbing between his legs from not having given release. With a cheeky sort of smile, Denki gave you a kiss to your cheek before settling his lips to the shell of your ear. “Whatever you say, babe.”

In an instant, you were swept off the counter, your body being caged between the closed freezer door and Denki holding you up from beneath your thighs. His cock fell heavy against your stomach, twitching in its desperation for attention. The light emitting from the open door of the fridge illuminated the right half of the electric blond’s face, his expression lustful and giddy in the harsh LED lighting. It made your heart buzz with anticipation, your body tensing as he eased the head of his cock past your folds. Your hands scrambled for his shoulders, fingernails leaving red crescents along his creamy skin. Denki’s eyes were on you, his breathing irregular as you wasted no time in pulling out and thrusting back in with confidence. His lips swallowed your moans, the wet, lewd sounds of your fucking adding more tinder to the heat now coiling in the pit of your stomach for the third time tonight. “Please,” you begged, practically trembling from overstimulation as Denki rocked you into the cool aluminum of the freezer door.

“Please what, baby?” the playfulness in his tone didn’t match the serious manner in which he kept pistoning into you, chasing his own release as your slick from previous orgasms now coated his cock and ran down his thighs. Each time he went in, he angled himself right up to meet that special spot inside you to make you see tiny specks of white dot your vision. “I- I, ah! Denki!” Fingers now grasping at his hair again, you yanked harshly as you came around his pulsing cock for the third and final time, squeezing him snugly as you desperately attempted to catch your breath. There was a tingly sensation running through your legs starting from your thighs, numbing and electric as Denki kept up his quick pace to chase his own release, groaning dirty praises into your ear that made you keen. Your legs wrapped around his waist, urging him to go deeper and finish inside of you. His hips met yours for one last time, stuttering as he pumped his sticky cum into your abused hole. You two stayed there for a moment, you letting out quiet giggles as Denki took his time in getting the air back into his lungs. He let you down steadily from the position you had been in, making sure to hold you up since the feeling was still a bit lost in your legs.

“Wow that was,” Denki paused, struggling to find the right word for the situation you two had caught yourselves in. “Satisfying,” you finished for him, to which he blushed deeply. The smile he flashed you was earnest and relieved, if he was being quite honest. “Ah, nice! Let’s get you something to eat, maybe a cheese string. But definitely water!”

“I’m actually feeling pretty full right now in terms of cheese. Thanks for that, Den.”

“Wait really?” Denki questioned as he swept his boxers along with his shirt off the kitchen floor, his concern showing through his furrowed brow, “Not even for a cheese string?”

A deadpan look crossed your face, sighing as you gave in to your dumbass of a roommate. “One cheese string.”

“Bet!”

Needless to say, post sex activities consisted of a hot shower, the second Shrek movie, and two cheese strings (per Denki’s request). Not a bad way to relieve your stress, you concluded to yourself happily as you snuggled closer to your roommate, fingers intertwined beneath the blanket as you allowed yourself to slip into a comfortable slumber against Denki’s shoulder.

all works © eijishimas 2021. do not reuse, modify, or repost.

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[foxybananaaaz]

Confessions

Word Count :: 1.5

For :: @sjmromanceweek

Gwyn hadn’t realized she had been staring, until she felt a nudge in the side. blinking, she looked over to her friend, clearly confused. “What?” She had asked. Surely she hadn’t missed anything important.

“You really should go talk to him. This is getting a bit much.” Nesta had said, looking towards her, giving her another nudge, though this one more playful than anything.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Gwyn had replied, crossing her arms, looking off to the side, refusing to look towards her friends, should her face betray her reaction, or thoughts to what Nesta had said.

“Honestly Gwyn, the two of you are starting to get as bad as Cassian and Nesta were at the beginning.” Emerie simply stated, looking to her friend, a knowing glance, with humour in her eyes.

“Excuse me?” Nesta had asked, at the exact same time Gwyn had turned to look at Emerie, snapping teasingly at her friend.

“You take that back!”

Emerie simply laughed.

“You know, I came here tonight, because you both would help ease the tension and help things be comfortable tonight. But you’re doing nothing of the sort.” Gwyn had told her friends, in an teasingly accusatory tone, only to be met with twice the amount of laughs then.

*

Come time for dinner, Gwyn noticed the plans had changed. Her friends must have decided last minute the way they were going to sit. Gwyn was originally to sit between Nesta and Emerie.

Refusing to look at her friends, and give them any sort of satisfaction, she simply sat down beside Emerie, who now was sat in the middle of the three, with Nesta on one side, and Gwyn on the other.

Gwyn sat, and what had had her frustrated with her friends had been the fact that on her other side, was Azriel.

Though half way through dinner, Gwyn had thought she heard Cassian grunt, before Nesta had spoken up. "Azriel, may you possibly pass down the, uh, potatoes?" There had been only the slightest annoyance in her voice, not enough for Gwyn to notice and figure out why, until the bowl of potatoes had been hovering in front of her face.

"Gwyn, pass it along." Emerie had whispered.

Realizing what was going on, Gwyn was shocked. Were her friends just playing a game? Well then, Gwyn could win. No, Gwyn would win.

Smiling graciously, Gwyn took the bowl of potatoes from Azriel, thanking him kindly, before passing them to Emerie to continue passing them down. Her friends had chosen the wrong female to test willpower.

(Table Seating)

*

And so it had continued all dinner, pass that down, send this to Feyre, let's all tell stories, reminisce on the past. Speak about our loved ones, which had left both Gwyn and Azriel sitting there awkwardly silent.

Though the moment the meal was finished, and everyone had left the table, Gwyn had grabbed her friends by the arms, and pulled them off to the side.

"What was that?" Gwyn had asked. "Why'd you switch seats?" Gwyn asked, trying to sound firm, yet failing.

"We had nothing to do with that Gwyn. We'd never go past teasing you." Emerie responded seriously.

Nesta stood there silently, looking angrily off in the distance.

"What is it?" Gwyn had asked trying to follow her gaze.

"Go ask Cassian." Was all Nesta said. "He was the one asking for everything, and sending everything down the table."

Confused, Gwyn nodded, turning her head to see the male in question currently speaking with the High Lord, as well as Azriel himself.

"Just do what I do, go up there calling him an idiot. If he's smart, you'll be lucky, and he'll make the others leave. If he is an idiot, he won't make them leave and you can call him our with an audience." Nesta commented, hoping to calm Gwyns nerves.

"We're also here if you need us." Emerie added, with a friendly smile towards her friend.

Nodding more to herself than her friends, Gwyn fully turned to face the trio of males. She could do this. She dealt with Cassian and Azriel every day. She saw the High Lord when he dropped Emerie off for training. She could do this.

Just tell him he's an idiot, that's what Nesta said. And it was true, when he wasn't in the training room. Cauldron, even when in the training room sometimes, when he refused to take his eyes off of Nesta. Gwyn could do this. She took a deep breath as she got closer, and then- Stopped.

"Yes. I did. But for a good reason. Come on Rhys, you can't honestly want to go through another 500 years of dealing with Az silently pining for a female, while refusing to do anything about it because he sees himself as less, doesn't believe himself worth love." Cassian had explained, exasperated.

"The girls are great in their training, but easily distracted. If you take a moment to listen, on of the topics that has been coming up more frequently is how Gwyn will stare at Az just as often as Az stares at her." Cassian had finished.

Gwyn couldn't stand there silently any longer and continued walking forward. "Idiots! All three of you!" She spoke before she reached them, and had the pleasure of watching all three of their reactions. The colour drain from Cassians face. The horror on Azriels face, and the shock on Rhysands face. Nesta had been right. There was something greatly satisfying about it. Not that she would do it all the time.

She looked towards Rhysand. "The way you feel the need to intervene is unnecessary. Getting into everyone's business is not the best thing when it is so trivial." Gwyn stated, seeing the High Lord simply smirk, and lift his eyebrow.

She then turned to Cassian. "Does Nesta know you listen to our conversations? Actively pay attention to what we say? I'm sure she wouldn't like it." Cassian, seemed to have gone even more pale, at the idea of Nesta finding the information out, as Gwyn was speaking.

"And you." Gwyn spoke, turning to Azriel, her voice catching slightly. "Keeping information, emotions to yourself, especially when they affect someone else so much? I don't even know where to begin." Gwyn finished, shaking her head.

"You should want someone to know if you like them. You should want them to know, especially if you know they feel the same way back. That way you both are not suffering the ache of longing. You should be brave enough to jump into the unknown, face the fear of rejection, rejoice in the possibility of reception." Gwyn spoke, softly, but with truth, seeing as Azriels expression had shifted from his earlier horror, to a softness, that had also kept the rest of his emotions hidden.

Closing her eyes, as she let the weight of her words settle over her, knowing what she had to do now.

"I like you, Azriel." Gwyn had kept her eyes closed, so she would not see the males reaction. "That terrifies me, because of... because of what happened. But I like you. I like you so much that I, I want you to be by my side. I want to face the fears I have, with you. I have my friends, and I love them. But if I were to have a male at my side, I'd want only you." Gwyn spoke softly, yet every word she spoke was the truth.

She had kept her eyes closed, so she had not seen how Azriels face had shifted from shock, to disbelief, to shock once again, to awestruck. Though she had noticed his lack of verbal response, so she simply nodded, before taking a step back, turning around.

She was about to walk off, before there were gentle fingers on her arm, stopping her from moving.

He had not grabbed her arm to stop her, and would not, knowing it would send the opposite effect he wished to portray. The brush of his fingers on her arm had been enough.

"I am not great at expressing my emotions, and prefer to not do so in public." Azriel spoke quietly, taking a small step closer towards Gwyn. "But I," the male continued, pausing to softly chuckle. "Like you as well. Very much." He concluded.

Finally, Gwyn looked up at the male, her teal eyes filled with hope before whispering. "So, what does this mean?"

Azriel only showed the faintest of smiles as he met Gwyns eyes. "It means, if you will have me, idiot and all, that I would gladly be yours." He responded.

Gwyn watched as his smile grew, and joy filled his hazel eyes as she faintly nodded her agreement.

*

"Cauldron." Emerie spoke, as sat beside Nesta. "Even You didn't abandon us when Cassian proposed to you."

Nesta, along with Emerie had been sitting alone, as Gwyn had been off with Azriel for an hour and a half now, bot seeming to be overjoyed. "I don't mind. We still have our sleepover tonight." Nesta answered."

Emerie had nodded, lightly laughing, as the main door to the house had opened.

Post Author Notes ::

I'm trying to stay in character! Everyone I've done so far I haven't written for!

But I am hoping you like it!!!!

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Long Way From Home

Summary: Her arrival was an accident, but some blessings come in disguise.

Genre: Fluff

Request: Yes / No

Word Count: 4,466

* * * * * *

A long heavy sigh falls from the doctor’s lips, his fingers nervously cleaning his glasses.“ I’m just not too sure about this Tony. Last time we experimented on an infinity stone we-”

“Were severely uneducated.” The billionaire replies, pulling his usual smirk as he looks at Bruce.“ We’re in the right league now. And we’ve got back up, just in case.”

A chorus of grumbles sounds around the lab, each member of the team a little less than happy to be here at the moment but also not willing to allow another Ultron situation.

Steve sighs, almost as heavily as Bruce did, and crosses his arm.“ Just be careful Tony. We’ll shut this down if need be.”

Tony raises his hands in a show of innocence and nods,“ don’t worry Capsicle, we’ve got it under control.”

With those words spoken, Tony nods to Bruce who commences the first test of the Space and Time Stones.

Everyone stands with bated breaths as the stones spin in their chambers. There’s a brief flicker of the lights as the stones pull on the energy from the compound, in the dark it’s hard to see the chasm of space that appears in the gap between Wanda and Natasha.

When the lights finally come back in the room of, now armed, superheroes they all cautiously take in their surroundings.

“Why do all these science experiments involve children?” Steve asks frustratedly.

Natasha frowns, tilting her head at him in confusion,“ Rogers what kid?”

The blonde man slowly lowers his shield and nods behind her. Frown deepening, Natasha slowly turns around, using every bit of her willpower to stop her jaw from dropping.

Standing a few feet shorter than her, is a little girl. Her eyes scan the girls body, searching first for any signs of injury and second for any clues as to how she got here. Instead of finding those things, Natasha discovers the child's very clear state of horror.

Glancing around at her family, some members of which are still holding weapons, Natasha understands how terrifying this must be to a kid.

Quickly disarming her widows bites, Natasha lowers herself to catch the e/c eyes of the red haired little girl. Smiling as softly as she can, the ex-assassin nearly whispers,“ hi.”

The single word pulls the girl’s attention from the big scary Avengers, to Natasha. A look flashes through the girl’s eyes and she almost instantly calms down. Looking from Natasha’s eyes down to her feet, the little girl plays with her fingers, mumbling,“ hi.”

Once again Natasha glances back at her team, catching sight of Steve, Bruce, and Tony talking over by one of the desks, Sam and Bucky’s confused glances over her way, and Wanda’s soft yet confused eyes on her as well.

Looking at Natasha, Wanda finds a slightly panicked look in the Russian’s eyes. Slowly walking over, Wanda assumes the same position as Natasha, squatting and looking at the little girl.

“Hi,” she speaks quietly, a soft smile on her lips,“ my name is Wanda. What’s yours?”

Shyly looking at Wanda, the little girl quickly averts her gaze back to Natasha. An uncertainty sits in her eyes that makes Natasha incredibly curious. It’s not as if she’s uncertain of Natasha, it’s almost as if she’s asking for permission.

“I’m Natasha.” She says, in hopes that the little girl will take that as an invitation to tell her name.

She does, once again playing with her fingers.“ My name is Katya.”

“Katya is a very pretty name.” Wanda tells her.

That gets the girl to smile, a light blush coating her cheeks,“ my mommy says it means pure.”

Natasha nods,“ it does.” What’re the odds that she has a name of Russian origin.

“Um, ladies,” a deep, clearly nervous, voice speaks up behind Natasha and all their eyes move to Steve.“ I think it’s best we all leave, let the scientists finish their work uninterrupted.”

Work, as in finding out where this girl just came from and how to send her back.

Nodding in agreement, the two women stand up and look down at the girl,“ come on Katya, we’re going to go find somewhere else to relax okay?”

Katya nods hesitantly.

While Bruce and Tony get to work on finding Katya a way home, the rest of the team works on making sure she feels safe and as comfortable as she can be in an unknown environment. Even though they have their own questions and concerns, they’re more worried about keeping the child in a peaceful state.

Unsure of where to take a child in the compound, Natasha just follows Wanda’s lead.

A moment of shock hits her hard when she feels a soft little hand slip into hers. She’s tempted to jump away from the touch but oddly enough, the instant she looks down into soft e/c eyes she relaxes a little, allowing the child to hold her hand as they walk through the compound. Until they all end up in the common room.

Just as they’re all sitting down, the glass doors open and Natasha elicits the hardest eye roll at the announcement of her last teammate's arrival.

“Honeys I’m home!” You playfully exclaim as you walk into the common room, arms spread as one hand holds your duffle bag.

Sam and Wanda’s faces light up at your presence, surprisingly so does Katya’s. All three of them hold bright smiles, Wanda popping up off the couch to run over to you, wrapping you in a hug.

Arm wrapped around her, you and Wanda walk back over to everyone. Sam jumps up to give you a one armed hug and you get waves from everyone, everyone except one person. The one person who seems to dislike you the most.

“What Romanoff, I don’t get a-” your words fall short as you look at the person beside Natasha. Eyebrows raised you glance around at everyone, taking in their calm expressions and realizing they all obviously know something you don’t.

Clearing your throat, you smile softly at the little girl.“ Hi, I’m Y/n.”

“I’m Katya!” She exclaims, making everyone raise their eyebrows. Natasha frowns at it though. The little girl had been quieter than a mouse since appearing here and yet your presence draws out such an enthusiastic response.

You smile brightly at her,“ Katya is a gorgeous name.”

“Mommy says it means pure.” She exclaims again, slightly quieter than before.

“That’s beautiful, It’s clear your mommy really loves you,” you tell her, then looking around at everyone again,“ where exactly uh, is she?”

Steve stands up and nods for you to step over to him. As you do so you feel the eyes of the little girl on you. Off to the side of the room, Steve explains the situation to you. Everything he knows for that matter. And you laugh a little.

Leave it to Tony and Bruce to bring a child from some random place and time in space to the compound in one of their experiments.

“No murder bots though.” You say, patting his shoulder, then turning to look over at the little girl at Natasha’s side.

Something in the way she looks at Natasha tugs on your intrigue. Even more so, you’re intrigued by the way Natasha is with her. It’s clear she’s a little out of her comfort zone but she’s still very soft with the girl, delicately speaking to her.

You and Nat haven’t been on the best of terms for years. At one point, when you were just an enhanced agent at S.H.I.E.L.D, you and Natasha would work seamlessly together. You considered yourselves friends and quite honestly loved spending time together.

When it all went downhill you aren’t entirely sure(and neither is she if she’s being honest) but things have been tense between you two ever since. Little things you do annoy her and for whatever reason you now find her closed off personality to be a bit much.

Shaking your head to clear the thoughts away, you cross your arms over your chest,“ so what’s the plan Cap?”

“Not sure entirely,” he sighs softly,“ for now it’s to keep the kid safe and as happy as possible till we can get her home.”

You nod,“ sounds good.” Clapping your hands lightly, you grab everyone’s attention,“ Katya, you got a favorite movie girly?”

She nods excitedly,“ Little Mermaid. She has red hair like me.”

“I think your hair is prettier,” Natasha says with a soft nudge to Katya’s arm that makes the little girl blush and say a quiet thank you.

“To the theater then.” You say, once again smiling at her.

Everyone agrees and they all stand and start down the hall to the theater(once team movie night began a set thing, Tony had the theater built).

On the walk over, you can’t help but notice how Katya remains close to Natasha, following the redhead’s every move, all the while continuing to glance back at you.

Admittedly, there’s an odd feeling that stirs in your chest when her bright e/c eyes look into your e/c ones. There’s an abundant amount of love and admiration in them that could melt the coldest of hearts. Why that emotion is in her eyes as she looks at you makes you wonder, but you’ve decided not to think too hard on that for now.

However that exact feeling bursts forth in this very moment.

As you’re preparing the popcorn machine, everyone assumes a spot in the room. The little girl sits right beside Natasha as Sam tries to entertain her while Clint goes to put the movie. How does a grown man get a ten year old girl to have fun?

He challenges her to an arm wrestle. Apparently.

“Come on Lil Bit,” Sam eases himself to the floor opposite Katya,“ show me what you got?” His teasingly playful smile accompanies his action of resting his elbow on the table.

Katya glances up at Natasha uncertainly, as if asking permission. The redhead’s face projects her surprise but she quickly reigns it in, smiling a little and saying,“ go ahead. It’s about time someone put Wilson in his place.”

Unexpectedly, the little girl turns her gaze to you. You can only imagine your expression resembles Natasha’s. Only to soften as you smile and nod.

That’s all it takes for her to go along with it. She scoots to kneel on the floor across from Sam. Placing her elbow on the table and locking her hand with the older man’s.

It’s overly amusing to see how intrigued everyone in the room becomes. Bucky and Steve seem to be commenting on the little game as if it were the World Series. Sam pulls his game face. And Wanda and Clint keep their eyes trained on the hands of Sam and Katya.

A three second countdown is spoken before they both tense up their arms and fight to win.

Not a single soul in the room is expecting the outcome.

In a split second, Katya gains the upper hand, and slams Sam’s arm through the glass of the table. Wide eyes stare on in completely silent shock.

Katya drops Sam’s hand and pushes herself up and away from the table.“ I-I,” you can tell what’s about to happen before it does and you move without a single thought.

Food forgotten, you now kneel in front of Katya, gently grabbing her arms.“ Hey it’s okay, it’s okay.” Teary e/c eyes look at you and you feel your breath snatched away.

“I’m sorry.” She whimpers.

“It’s fine Katya. It was an accident,” you nod as if to convince her that it’s okay. It seemingly works as she nods as well.“ Are you hurt?” She shakes her head and you glance over at Sam.“ You alright Wilson?”

His face is still one of bewilderment but he nods,“ yeah, yeah I’m good.”

The whole room takes in the look on Katya’s face and it’s Steve that manages to break everyone’s frozen states.“ Kid’s got an arm.”

Wanda snorts first and it causes a ripple effect of laughs from the team. Slowly looking around at all of them, Katya’s tears dry up and she smiles softly.

You sigh inaudibly as she starts to laugh and funnily enough, when you look up, your relieved expression meets Natasha’s. There’s a slight moment between you two, your eyes locking as you share your relief over the little girl being okay. Whatever attachment you seem to have for the girl is obviously shared. But you also catch something else in her eyes, something that doesn’t have to do with the little girl.

However the moment is gone in the blink of an eye. You shake your head and focus on Katya.

Softly rubbing her arms, you smile at her and take her hand, guiding her back to the seat beside Natasha and she tugs on your hand,“ sit with me?” She asks.

And you nod without a thought of hesitation,“ just let me grab us some popcorn okay?” Nodding happily, she scoots back on the loveseat and looks at Natasha. They have a quiet conversation as you fix three small containers of popcorn. Holding them in your hands and going back over.

Even though it’s the smallest thing ever, Natasha makes a face of surprise when you hand her the popcorn after giving Katya hers. When she looks up at you, it’s like a smack in the face how similar she looks to the girl beside her.

“Thank you,” she murmurs and you nod dazedly.

It’s almost haunting to you how much they look alike. Katya’s eyes are e/c but that hair, her nose, even the shape of her eyes looks damn near exactly like Natasha. The thought sticks in your head throughout the entire movie, causing you to occasionally glance over at the little girl and Natasha.

About halfway through the movie, Katya falls asleep. Her body tilts towards you, her head resting on your arm as she sleeps quietly. Once everyone notices that the girl is asleep they start to leave out.

Steve’s first, and possibly only, thought is heading to the lab for an update from Tony and Bruce. Bucky and Sam are in the middle of a heated argument over Ariel’s decision to make a deal with Ursula. Clint left before the movie, having a wife and kids to get home to. Wanda lingered, glancing at you, Katya, and Natasha.

“Are you-” the younger woman stops,“ do you need any help with her?”

Before you can open your mouth to speak, Natasha does.“ I’m gonna stay up with them for a moment. Go get some sleep Wan.”

Wanda nods with a soft smile and you can see the sleepiness in her eyes. You return the smile and tell her a quick goodnight before she leaves out.

A soft sigh leaves your lips as you look down at Katya, a small smile on your lips at the sight of the young girl.“ You know, she looks like you.” You say, not knowing how else to voice your thoughts.

“Like me?” Natasha asks. The tone of her voice tells you that she realized that herself, probably thought about it for a bit, but possibly pushed it away.

You nod,“ that hair, her nose, her cheeks,” you look up from the girl to Natasha,“ I knew when I saw her she looked familiar but I guess I just didn’t put two and two together.”

“Well she’s got your eyes.” Natasha adds, raising her eyebrows at you as if to argue your point, but you just chuckle and nod.

Gently easing yourself away from the little girl, holding her up with your hand,“ she does.” Then you pick her up, holding her in your arms.

The way you’d done so makes Natasha’s eyebrows raise. For a moment she’s surprised to see you so familiarly handle Katya. Then she remembers that there were children as small as Katya in your family a few years ago. You’ve almost always been around little kids due to how often your siblings were popping out babies.

She remembers being around them often, before you two fell out. She’d been almost as close to your nieces and nephews as she is to the Bartons.

“Um, where is she sleeping?” You ask, glancing down at the little girl in your arms, her back softly rising and falling as she breathes.

Natasha shrugs,“ we can put her in one of the rooms in our hall.”

Nodding, you follow after the redhead, walking through the common room to the elevators, taking them up to the floor you and Nat sleep on. She opens the door to the room right beside yours(the room that used to be hers) and steps in after you as you carry the little girl to the bed.

As you lean down to lay her in the bed, her arms tighten around you, a little whimper leaving her lips that makes you instantly hold her closer. Frown on your face, you turn to look at Natasha who raises her eyebrows at you.

“Just lay her down Y/ln,” she whispers at you.

You sigh turning back to the bed to try again, but the instant you lower your upper body down she clings to you. Once again you turn to Natasha who looks at you frustratedly.

“Just. Put. Her. Down.” She continues to whisper, now aggressively pointing at you then the bed.

Your frown deepens and you place your hand on the back of Katya’s head, as if shielding her from your equally aggressive whisper to Natasha.“ I can’t Romanoff, she won’t let me go and I’m not prying a child out of my arms.”

“Then I guess she’s sleeping with you.” She smiles sarcastically at you before turning and leaving the room, walking straight across the hall to her room.

With Katya still in your arms, you quietly sigh and ease yourself on to the bed, gently laying back with the little girl still in your arms.

The moments before you fall asleep are full of you thinking. All about Katya and Natasha.

Not knowing where Katya came from drives you a little crazy over the next couple of days. But you manage to never make that known to the little girl. She’s the sweetest kid, her innocence adding something to the compound you hadn’t ever felt before.

That attachment you and Natasha felt towards her the first day, grows stronger. So strong that the little girl takes turns sleeping in both yours and Natasha’s rooms. Her presence draws yourself and Natasha closer and while it doesn’t feel like it had all those years ago, it feels really good to be able to talk to her again.

Today officially marks a week with Katya and while you haven’t fallen into a complete routine, things have been a lot calmer since the first day of her being here. You all have accepted that she’s sticking around until Tony and Bruce find her a way home. So for now your main goal is making sure she’s comfortable here.

After having taken Katya with you on your run with Steve, she wasn’t the happiest when you left her with Wanda in the kitchen to go take your shower, but you promised to come back. Which you did.

Now you stand at the counter, making a pot of coffee after Sam and Tony drank the first one and didn’t refill it, as Katya helps Wanda bake muffins for breakfast.

A gasp followed by an adorable little giggle hits your ears and you turn around to see Natasha now beside Katya, a bit of flour on her finger. One look at Katya’s face, the flour swiped across her forehead, you know what happened.

Smiling softly at them, you catch Natasha’s eyes.“ Coffee?” You ask quietly, voice barely above a whisper. But she catches it(mainly because her eyes had been on your lips before you even spoke) and nods.

Turning to the machine, you take down a mug and start to fix Natasha’s coffee just how she likes it. Smiling softly at her as you offer the mug up, her accepting it with a soft smile in return.

Both of you look back to Katya as she pours way more chocolate chips into the mix than necessary, then watching Wanda pour the mix into the pan.

As soon as they’re in the oven she claps excitedly making all of you smile at her. The little redhead runs up to you and Natasha, looking up at you happily,“ mo-” she cuts herself off with an uncertain look and sighs, her smile slipping for a moment before she speaks again,“ I made muffins with Wan!”

You and Natasha share a quick look at Katya’s little slip but, not wanting to make her feel any worse than she seemed to have felt, you both move past it.

“We saw,” Natasha smiles at her,“ what kind of muffins?”

“Chocolate chip!”

Eyes widening in excitement, you look at her with your eyebrows raised,“ you know,” you squat down to look her directly in the eyes,“ chocolate chip is my favorite.”

Her smile gets even brighter,“ it’s mine too. Momma always gives me milk with it.”

Your jaw drops, continuing to show an abundance of excitement for the girl,“ that’s exactly how I like to eat my muffins. We’re gonna have milk when we eat these muffins okay?” She nods and you hold your hand up for a high five.

“Muffins are best with coffee.” Natasha says, shaking her head at both of you.

Katya shakes her head, mumbling quietly,“ you always say that.” She giggles softly.

Doing your best not to frown at her words, you wonder when Natasha may have said that to Katya over the last week and drawing a blank. Wanda hasn’t baked muffins in almost two weeks.

As you all wait for the muffins to finish, you move to the common room, sitting around on the couches, Katya finding her usual place between you and Natasha. The second you grab the remote she looks up at you, eyes soft as she silently asks for it and you sigh, handing it over without question.

Looking up you catch the green eyes of Natasha who quirks her eyebrow at you, a small knowing smirk on her face that makes you shake your head, mouthing ‘don’t say a word’ which makes her laugh quietly.

While waiting you all watch the cartoon Katya put on. Slowly the rest of your team trickles into the room, finding spots all around, finding entertainment in the cartoon.

Looking around at your team, a small smile pulls at your lips. More of than innocence showing itself in the moment.

A group of ex-assassins, ex-military men, a witch, former agent, doctor/green giant, and a billionaire all sit around the room watching a cat cause chaos with a walking fish. It’s already crazy to see all of you as the family that you are, to now see all of you so seemingly childish is crazier.

The episode goes off shortly after, a commercial, playing before yet another episode of the show starts up. Katya is so invested in the show she doesn’t pay a lick of attention to the timer going off in the kitchen.

Looking over at Wanda, you shrug with a smile and she chuckles softly, shaking her head.

Just as she stands up a blackhole like chasm forms in the common room.

Exactly like they had when Katya arrived, everyone once again produces their weapons seemingly from thin air. You pop up from the couch, moving the little girl to stand behind you as you accept the pistol Natasha hands you.

Every on guard stance slacks, expressions forming into very confused ones at the person who steps through the chasm. Long red curls fall down her shoulders, body clad in a black cat suit, all too familiar green eyes scanning the room, landing directly on you.

She smiles softly, then glances down behind you, that smile getting even brighter.

There’s an odd tug in your heart at the sight of Natasha’s smile. One that bright? You hadn’t seen in years. God you missed it. But that was the last thing you should be thinking about, not when the very woman smiling at you is also standing beside you.

“Um what-”

Tony’s question is cut short when Natasha squats down, still looking at the girl behind you,“ Katya, come here honey.”

“Mommy?” Katya peaks around your legs and smiles instantly at the sight of Natasha. Breaking away from you, she sprints over to her and throws her little arms around the woman’s neck.

Watching that whole interaction brings everything together in your head.

Tony and Bruce were running tests on the space and time stone. Of course some time traveling was possible. And of course on their very first test they bring Natasha’s daughter from the future.

Realizing that you’re slightly freaking out brings another thought to mind. If this is you panicking Natasha must be losing it.

A glance over shows her blank expression. Almost blank that is. Cause in her eyes you see the shock, the amazement, the wonder, the hope.

She noticed the similarities in her’s and Katya’s looks, she couldn’t ignore the attachment she and the little girl felt towards one another. This is why.

Looking up from the little girl to herself. She reads her lips, ‘now how did you end up fifteen years in the past malen'kiy?’

Fifteen years. In the past.

Katya is her daughter. She’s going to have a daughter in a few short years? With who? Is a question that quickly answers itself.

She and Katya slowly look over to everyone, green eyes and e/c ones scanning over the group then landing on you and Natasha and staying there.

Their gazes, looking into the e/c eyes that belong to the young redhead, you both come to the understanding. Which makes you both slowly look at each other.

You have a child together. You and Natasha end up with a kid.

“Where are momma and Domi?” Katya turns back to Natasha and asks.

Two children!!

Your next question is answered when you see the glint of the ring on Natasha’s finger.

Holy sh-

“Thank you for taking care of her.” Natasha says, offering each of you a smile, wasting no time in nodding, scooping up the little girl who waves to you all as they disappear into the void.

A long moment of silence passes, then Bruce sucks his teeth and Tony hums.“ No more playing with infinity stones.”

Still looking into Natasha’s eyes, you release a slightly shaky breath,“ holy shit.”

* * * * * *

Taglist: @owloftheshadows @natasha-danvers

[myonepiece]

Hey! I love everything you do, its so good and i've read every single one :P ! I just want to know if you can do something with zoro, law and sanji with s/o who is scare of the dark please :D

Zoro, Law, Sanji reaction to their crush asking to sleep with them because they’re scared of the dark

description: the crew (of each character separately) is camping on an island because it was dangerous to go back to the boat now or something like that, and their crush asks to sleep with them because they’re afraid of the dark

warnings: none

a/n: I know you said s/o but I had this cute idea and I thought crush worked better than s/o so I hope thats okay 💕

wc: 1594

*Law and Sanji under the cut

♡ Zoro

the crew had set up camp in a clearing in the forest, making a campfire and setting out a few sleeping bags they had picked up. you were already dreading sleep on account of all of the trees surrounding, the way they already cast shadows around the ground and didn’t show what was lurking in the far branches. 

Sanji cooked some barbeque and Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper danced around the fire for awhile. it was truly and enjoyable night, but when the sun began to descend you moved closer to the fire, trying to stay in the light as much as possible.

Zoro, who had been watching you throughout the night, noticed this but he thought it was because you were cold by the way you hugged your kees to your chest.

the crew eventually said goodnight and fell asleep, leaving you shaking by the fire and Zoro leaned against the tree behind you.

when you moved even closer to the fire Zoro got worried.

“oi ______, don’t get to close or you’ll burn yourself.”

you didn’t respond, or even look back- so Zoro got up and walked over to you, crouching beside you and poking your arm. you jumped at the contact, startled by Zoro’s sudden appearance next to you.

“ah Zoro you scared me, aren’t you going to bed?”

“mhm, are you?”

“I’m going to stay awake for a bit longer.”

Zoro stared at you for a moment, noticing the way you shivered in the heat of the flames, the way your eyes held waves of fear, clearly you were unsettled.

“what’s wrong?”

you glanced to you side at Zoro, the fire making shadows dance across his face.

“nothing really, I’m just kind of afraid of the dark.”

you chuckled half-heartedly but Zoro frowned. he wasn’t going to judge you or anything, he knows people have different fears and the dark is a common one.

“is there anything I can do?”

Zoro’s own cheeks heated at the suggestion, and yours soon followed with a soft smile towards the swordsman.

“no it’s okay, you can go to sleep.”

he stared at you for another second before humming in acceptance, rising to his full height and turning around as he walked back to the tree he was sleeping against, a flicker of movement in the trees caught your eye and made your heart beat spike. 

“Zoro.”

the man looked over his shoulder at the call of his name, you were shaking more visibly and your eyes were wide trained on the dark between the plants on the other side of the clearing- the sight of you so scared pulled at his heart.

“can- can I sleep with you tonight?”

you looked over you shoulder at him with a deeper blush on your cheeks, but Zoro wouldn’t say anything because he had the same but even more so.

“sure.”

he didn’t even have to think about it, only needing a moment to comprehend that his crush asked to sleep with him- and this meant you felt safe with him right?

he dropped down against the tree and patted the spot next to him as he leaned his head back. you got up from your spot reluctantly, hurrying over to Zoro and  sitting beside him, instantly curling into his side.

he had his arms crossed then, to flustered and shy to put one around you even though he knew you would probably appreciate it- but when you leaned your head on his shoulder he rested his cheek on top of it. 

and further, when you woke up the next morning Zoro had arm wrapped around your shoulders holding you closer against his side, he had moved it in the night once he knew you were peacefully asleep meaning he could let himself sleep too.

♡ Law

the crew was sprawled out across the clearing a fire burning in the center.

the moment Law announced you wouldn’t be able to get to the ship at this time you started to feel anxious, worried about where you would be sleeping. and when you found out you would be camping, in the dark, your anxiety built up.

the change in your exterior and attitude was quickly noticed by Law. he kept an eye on you the whole time the crew was setting up, watching the way you were simultaneously paranoid but more distracted than usual. he saw you check around the surroundings but he didn’t know what for. 

when the sun began to set and you took a spot close to the fire he still didn’t know exactly what was wrong but he was getting worried- there were no visible wounds on you and you didn’t seem to be in pain, just scared. 

he couldn’t sleep when the rest of the crew did, and he didn’t want to either because you seemed to be even more afraid than earlier. when he saw you stay practically attached to the fire and glance worriedly at the enclosing darkness, he finally figured out the problem.

he got up from his seat leaning against sleeping Bepo, carefully moving around the bodies of his crew and towards you. he called your name before he reached so he wouldn’t scare you with an unexpected appearance. he saw you jump at the sound and your head whipped around. 

Law came closer and dropped down beside you, staring intently at you before bluntly saying,

“you’re scared of the dark.”

your cheeks heated at the embarrassing fear that he had realized, you nodded and faced the flames again.

“why didn’t you tell me?”

“it’s silly.”

“no it’s not, it’s common.”

you looked at Law who was still watching you and you smiled softly giving him some relief that you were feelings even slightly better.

“is there anything I can do to help you sleep tonight?”

“can I... can I sleep you?”

you saw Law tense and his eyes widened, a light blush dusted his cheeks.

“it’s okay if you don’t want me to I can jus-”

“you can.”

Law stood up and outstretched his hand down to you, taking it gently and pulling you up to lead you back through the sleeping crewmembers and to Bepo’s side. he sat down against the bear and gestured to the spot next to him. you sat down and an awkward silence filled the air. 

“you can put your head on my lap if that’s more comfortable...”

you barely heard Law’s mumbling but you moved over slightly so you could extend your legs and place your head on Law’s legs. it took a few minutes before he relaxed beneath you, his hand slowly going to rest on your head. he began to softly stroke you hair, lulling you to sleep while he kept an eye on your face to look for any sign of fear or discomfort.

♡ Sanji

the whole crew was excited for camping, having a few games already planned and Sanji had plenty of food to make barbecue- you were the only one on edge about sleeping in the forest surrounded by who knows what.

everyone was distracted by their excitement so no known noticed the change in your demeanor. 

you partook in the games and the dancing and everything with the hope of tiring yourself out or at least distracting your self. 

when the sun was setting and while everyone was eating the delicious food Sanji had made, the cook was watching you while you took your first bite, waiting for your opinion. you took a bite and smiled up at him, telling him it was delicious- this is when he noticed something was up because usually you were more enthusiastic about his cooking. he frowned slightly and crouched down beside you with a concerned expression.

“_____-swan is something wrong?”

you sent him a quick glance, 

“I just have a... a small irrational fear of the dark.”

Sanji nearly fainted at your cute innocent fear, but he didn’t think that would make you feel very good.

“that’s not irrational, fear of the dark is very common it’s nothing you should be ashamed of.”

he smiled softly at you.

“is there anything I can do make you feel better?”

“do you think... do you think I could sleep with you tonight?”

the amount of self control nd willpower it took to not squeal was overwhelming. his grin widened greatly and he nodded happily.

“awh of course _____-swan! I’ll put the dishes away and then we can sleep!”

once he was done putting the ingredients and dishes away, making sure everyone was satisfied and Luffy couldn’t reach anything, and saying goodnight to everyone as they fell asleep, he pranced back over to where you sat against a fallen tree with your knees pulled to your chest and your head resting on your arms.

“oh ____-swan I’m sorry I took so long!”

he gently took your hands in his and took a seat beside you.  you took your hands from Sanji and settled into his side, assuring him it’s okay. despite being in the edge of the fire’s light and beside Sanji, you were still visibly shaking. Sanji looked down and pouted at your scared form, feeling his heart clench.

“can I hold you _____-swan?

you looked up at the blushing cook, nodding at him and sitting forward momentarily so he could slip his arm behind you. he turned in his seat so that you were leaning your head against his chest- he slowly rocked back and forth while you drifted off to sleep, but not before he promised to protect you while you slept.

[usergreenpixel]

JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 11: A TALE OF TWO CITIES (1859)

1. The Introduction

Hey, Citizens! I’m finally back with a new review, fresh out of the oven! Please, make yourself comfortable and brace yourselves for a wild ride that is this novel because boy do we have a lot to discuss!

“A Tale of Two Cities” is a novel written by Charles Dickens in 1859. You know, THE Dickens. Of “Oliver Twist”, “David Copperfield” and “A Christmas Carol” fame.

To be quite honest with you, my dear Citizens, I actually read all three of the aforementioned books from cover to cover and I have to admit that Dickens isn’t really on my list of favorite authors so at first I was hesitant about reviewing the book we’re going to talk about today. Something about Dickens’s writing style just...doesn’t click with me. I think that’s the best way to put it.

However, while researching this particular novel, I found out that it’s actually pretty infamous in our community but considered a classic so, as usual, my curiosity was off the charts at that point.

It didn’t help that @maggiec70 from the neighboring Napoleonic community refers to this novel and The Scarlet Pimpernel as “known hazards” so I decided to proceed with the review regardless.

Let’s just say that I was in for an extremely bad time, but more on that later.

(@maggiec70, Now I regret not heeding your warning, Madame Lannes...)

The book is in public domain and I downloaded it via Project Gutenberg, as I usually do with anglophone books in public domain. So, if you’re curious or masochistic enough to check it out, you know where to find it.

So, with that out of the way, let’s begin our meeting, pick apart this book and find out if this is yet another pathetic piece of Anglophone smear campaign against our Revolution or if its reputation in our community is simply blown out of proportion.

2. The Summary

The novel is divided into three parts in total, all of which are connected with an overarching plot where personal conflicts and family history overlap with the Revolution and the Reign of Terror.

Do these conflicts manage to be engaging though? Let’s try to find out.

3. The Story

Unfortunately, the plot is really confusing to me so it took me a while to comprehend what’s going on and I needed a lot of willpower not to drop the book despite the insane amounts of filler and the fact that Dickens really takes his sweet ass time to set everything up.

Now, I know that setting things up is important and all, but diving into extensive details even for the minor characters, when a much better way to develop them would be to have the relevant info intertwined with the plot itself, is a bit of an overkill in my opinion.

(Spoiler alert!)

But, from what I did eventually manage to understand, the first book is about one Jarvis Lorry who, after receiving a message saying “Recalled to Life”, helps a young French ingenue called Lucie Manette reunite with her father, Dr. Alexandre Manette.

The second book begins with the trial and the acquittal of yet another major character, Charles Darnay, then we see how a romance blooms between him and Lucie and they end up marrying.

Finally, the third book is about Darnay recklessly going back to France (his country of birth) to rescue a loyal servant of his family, only to be imprisoned due to being an aristocrat. Of course...

The rest of the story is about Lucie, Dr. Manette, Mr. Lorry, a barrister called Sydney Carton and Miss Pross, Lucie’s governess, trying to rescue Charles.

Now, all of this would’ve made for an exciting story. I’ll admit that much. However, the confusion caused by an excessive amount of filler and flashbacks, the fact that anglophone propaganda is off the charts and my personal dislike for the author’s writing style made it an absolute nightmare to get through the entire book without dying of boredom or just dropping it entirely.

Moving on before I descend into ranting madness.

4. The Characters

Thanks Supreme Being, actual historical figures don’t show up in the text so I won’t have to rip an ok to the author in that regard.

But let’s talk about some of the major characters, shall we?

First of all, I kinda like Dr. Manette as a character. He starts out as a broken shell of a man after his long imprisonment in La Bastille and, realistically, the trauma lingers throughout the course of the novel instead of magically going away the second he is reunited with his daughter. That said, this reunion and quality time spent together do help the doctor improve significantly and he doesn’t let trauma stand in his way when it comes to doing what he believes is right, which is admirable. All in all, quite a decently written character.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said about his daughter, Lucie Manette. She is pretty much your standard issue Victorian ingenue and she doesn’t have that much agency so she is a flat and overly perfect character in my book and I doubt modern readers will find her interesting.

Charles Darnay also seems typical on the surface. A righteous (if reckless) hero, in love with the Ingenue, you get the idea. It’s not until further into the story that things get truly interesting.

(Spoiler alert!)

In reality, Charles is a member of the notoriously corrupt and rotten Evrémonde family, nobles from France. It turns out that he changed his name and escaped to England to distance himself from that horrible legacy, which is very much understandable, but still dooms him just by association with that lineage. I wish this backstory would’ve been more developed when it comes to inner conflicts and such, but I’m glad that we got something beyond Young Hot Righteous Knight in Shining Armor ™️.

(Spoiler alert!)

Sydney Carton, the cynical barrister who resembles Charles, is probably one of the earliest examples of a troubled antihero. He is a cynic and an alcoholic and seems like a jerk, but he is in love with Lucie and is ready to do anything for her. In the end, he trades places with Charles and is executed so that Lucie and her daughter don’t lose Charles. I really like the fact that Sydney isn’t the jealous rival one would expect to see.

Then there are the villains, Monsieur and Madame Defarge.

They first appear as owner of a wine shop who took in Dr. Manette before the latter reunited with his daughter. However, as the story progresses, we find out that Madame Defarge is on a quest to wipe out the entire Evrémonde family, just as they had wiped out hers. In fact, she is so blinded by this revenge that she is more than willing to kill Charles, Lucie Manette and the couple’s young daughter, just for that vengeance.

Her husband, however, is less obsessed with vengeance and draws the line when it comes to killing children. Doesn’t stop him from assisting his wife everywhere else though.

In fact, in the book these two are shown rallying people up for the storming of La Bastille and become the representations of the author’s view on revolutionaries - bloodthirsty monsters who will stop at nothing to achieve their goals.

But, credit where it’s due, Madame Defarge’s revenge crusade is an understandable and a realistic motive, which makes her quite a decent villain. I also like the fact that her backstory isn’t treated as an excuse for her actions. Props for that.

The Revolution is also represented in some minor characters, like The Vengeance (Madame Defarge’s second-in-command and just as brutal as her boss), whose name is a reference to the trend of adopting new, Republican names.

Not all people did that, mind you, but, thanks to Citizen @frevandrest who shared the information with me, it wasn’t uncommon for people to change the names. I don’t know if anyone had “Vengeance” as a Republican name though...

One minor character who really gets to shine is Miss Pross. She loves Lucie Manette like a mother would and goes full Mama Bear on Madame Defarge for trying to kill Lucie Manette and her daughter, also named Lucie. In the process, although permanently deafened by the gunshot(is that even possible?), she shoots Madame Defarge. Let me repeat that. A GOVERNESS SHOOTS A BLOODTHIRSTY REVOLUTIONARY! I really like that, to be very honest. Don’t mess with protective parents!

I do like Mr. Lorry’s outwardly stoic demeanor, beneath which he hides a more caring side. Sadly, he doesn’t get much development.

As for Jerry Cruncher... Although technically he is on the side of the good guys, I don’t give a shit about him. Let me tell you why.

(Leans in and whispers)

I don’t care about domestic abusers and this motherfucker beats his wife. No joke. So fuck him.

Anyway, let’s move on.

5. The Setting.

Once again, too much filler. Descriptions are best used in moderation, like a tiny pinch of salt to make your cooking better. This, however, is the equivalent of dumping a full cup of salt into your dish. Good luck getting through that.

6. The Writing

Like I said, I don’t really like the way Dickens writes and this made reading a bit hard for me. There are also some old English words and grammar that I didn’t quite understand at first, both because my mother tongue is Russian and because it’s not quite contemporary but, for the most part, everything is at least comprehensible.

7. The Conclusion

All in all, while it lacks outright English nationalism, this book is still a boring smear campaign against Frev so I can’t recommend it to you, Citizens. Please, heed my warning, skip it and find something more fun to read.

Sure, the novel does have some characters with potential that I personally liked, but it’s far from enough to make up for the propaganda, the lack of proper development for a lot of characters, the incredibly long fillers and the plot that’s more stretched out (in terms of the time the author takes to get to the actual story) than chewing gum.

With that, let us conclude the eleventh meeting of the Jacobin Fiction Convention. Stay safe and stay tuned for more updates on the next review!

Until next time.

Love,

- Citizen Green Pixel