#the amount of typos in this is awkward

[leynaeithnea]

Literally taking notes as I read your reply so I can remember everything I want to say to you akdmmsan ( also my fingers also hurt from refreshing Tumblr, waiting for your reply aaah)

First of all sorry for making you type so much but actually I'm not that sorry bc I'm having the time of my life talking to you, also I really like your takes and seeing your perspective on stuff (I will now proceed to tell you what I think about what you said , I swear I am sorry but I can't help it, it's the voiceeees)

2. I never stopped to think about the implications of the others joining in the song bc they are seeing Odysseus getting closer to the wall and on the brink of doing something so unforgivable that they have to wonder, should we consider him a monster? Where do we draw the line ? Kskdkd good shit

3. I 100% agree about full speed ahead, I LOVE IT and sing it to myself all the time, 4.we do need more polities , and I also adore the "stay back" part and whenever I sing it I do this silly thing where I pretend to have a sword and I use it to threaten the lotus eaters that are surrounding me ( is it silly? Yes. Do I have the time of my life being this silly? Also yes ). And I totally understand the Ody appreciation because the tragedy in his story and the way he tries to overcome all the obstacles only to realize he is a pawn of the gods anyway jajsnsnsnnjakam and how all this fighting and struggling changed him so much he became unrecognizable but somehow at the core he's still the same aaaahh 6. Agree on anything and everything you say at this point bc "there's been a misunderstanding" scratches my brain so good. 7. I'm so happy for you I wish I could pick up even half of the motifs and stuff Jay always talks about, after his explanations I'm always like "mmmh yes yes I get it (<- does NOTget it for the life of her )" 8. Hands down my favorite 10/10, I am also not 100% sold on the new version bc I am just so used to the old one but I like a lot how Athena says "don't "in this one , she feels more surprised (?),like she didn't think she HAD to warn him not to do smth this reckless, don't know how to explain it lol. AND the silence that screams "oooh you really fucked up" after Odysseus revelas his name and address is UNMATCHED , chills every time. Also the fact that in the whole musical this is the first time we hear his name is just amazing. Keeps me up at night 9.again , seeing your take on things is so good !! In this song Athena is confused by humans and how they process their emotions?? Akksks how did I not see it?? 11. I adore this one but now it's so hard to listen to it and not be haunted by mutiny

Sorry again for dumping all of this here lol, also if you want I would adore a part two for the other sagas but literally no pressure :))

BY THE GODS THANK YOUUUU OMxjdkdksks mfjfjdjsFUSJDS THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME DONT APOLOGIZE FOR INFO DUMPING I LOVE IT

AND YES part 2 is to come, I stopped at luck runs out yesterday because Keep your friends close has soooo many parts that I love, its one of my favorites

Also yesss Luck Runs Out really hits different now, loveeee how it sets up mutinity in the motifs so good okay I might only finish Ocean Saga in this one bc SO MUCH TO SAY but i would be honored to do this maybe saga by saga with some asks or smth idk rjsjsjs

Ok

12. Keep friends Close

"Great wind god aelus" kicks just the right way again

"Hahahaha i am the wind" Omg the melody and music in this song is so gooood so floaty and airy its big joy, aelus playfulness and the whole first part of the song is so goooodd ALSO WINIOKS "sometimes killing is a must" - "what??"

And then it shifts to the crew where i love the voice acting of the whole scene up until "we'll try" AND THEN my favorite part: Odysseus tries to stay awake

For 9 days Ive sayed wide awake, trying to make it home with no storm or tidal wave, I remain unapposed the bag is still closed and Im getting closer to youuu (penelope) i cant wait to make some new memories (telemachus) time for me to be the father i never was (just keep your eyes open) why are my eyes and my heart and soul so heavy? (Just keep your eyes open) I keep on trying to embrage you both why wont you let me?? (Just keep your eyes open) so much has changed but im the same YES IM THE SAMMEEE (just keep your eyes open) -> FIRST TIME WE HEAR TELEMACHUS BTW IM SO EXCITED FOR HIM

ALSO THEY ALMOST REACHED ITHIKA IF EURY HADNT OPENED THE BAG---- THEY WERE WITHIN SIGHT, HIS MOM COULDVE SEEN THE SHIPS

So, yeah this whole part? So good, and then penelope wakes him and he wakes up to the storm and the "NooOOooooO" is so niceee ans THEN "ODYSSEUS OF ITHICA, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" WE LOVE POSEIDON HIS VOICEEEE

13. Ruthlessness

Danger motif (ehehe) the -sei-don in the chant in the beginning I think, madbe the po-sei im not sure

STEVENS GRIT IN HIS VOICE ITS SO GOOD like either mortius or casper said it but he literally sounds like he just gurgled salt water fr, And hes SO SASSY

"it isnt very often that i get pissed of" ....i feel like you dont have s very realistic selfimage Poseidon

"Ive been so gracious" hits right too, so good

"The cyclops youve maee blind, is mine" - No

Love how the theme of Ruthnessless finially gets spoken out directly and literally thrown into his face I ALSO LOVE HOW EVERY ANIMATOR PORTRAYS THIS SCENE AS POSEIDON BEATING UP ODYSSEUS LIKE GUDJDKSKSKSJSJ hell yes anyway

"You are the worst kind of good cause youre not even great" THE music in this moment, the drop and the how it picks up again fhsjdjskaja

Also not Ody not even apologizing smh smh

"If you jusr killed my son, But NooOooouu" SASSY SEIDON gjdjfjwj hes so pissed he didnt kill polyphemus :[ (jkjkjkrks)

Then the whole part with

RUTHLESSNESS IS MERCY UPON OUR- CAPITAIN

RUTHLESSNESS IS MERCY UPON OUR- CAPITAIN

(Also those lines asding up to 11, for the 11 ships ody looses there oml)

I love "the line between naivetë and hopefullness is almost invisible" its such a cool quote

And then the pause into "Die."

THE CALL BACK TO "when does a ripple become a tidal wave" of jusr a man Omg I LOVE just a man call backs and the disbelieve and horror in "what have you done" and Poseidons calm response, and then THE WINDBAG and "Remember Me" omggrttt yes def two of th3 best songs in the musical so far

Edit:

OH AND I FORGOT THE ACTING?? THE SWORD? YES PLS, i acted out the whole musical so far on a whim with a friend a few days ago and it was the best things in my life fr, acting for the win i also tend to act these things out by myself ghjjdg

Edit 2: Circe saga next!

[cashandandrogyny]

i love gaining new mutuals. like hiiiiii im awkawrard but also nice

dont be afraid to sya hii.iiii

[corvid-ghost]

Omg I manifested that shit/j

which fanon batfam character are you?

i made a quiz assigning you a fanonized version of one of the batfam characters :)

[eddiesxangel]

If you ever felt like it, would you be cool writing reader and Eddie; their best friends and they both perv for each other but never show it and she was invited to DND and she needs to rush to the bathroom to literally rub one out and Eddie silently makes his way to see what you’re up to

Just Friends |Perv!EddieMunsonX Perv!bestie reader

AN: I made it modern just to make it more pervy! hope you enjoy :) ps. If you see any typos no you didn’t 🤫

WC: 3.2k

It’s been almost a year since you and Eddie became friends, you’ve been inseparable since. You and Eddie first met when you were sleeping over at Nancy’s and Eddie was over for a DND session. You had literally run into Eddie, you smacked your face into his chest as you rounded the corner, in your pyjamas no less. You gave an awkward giggle and introduced yourself. You didn’t really recognize him, your lunch periods weren’t the same and he wasn’t in any of your classes. But fate swooped in, and due to that fated night everything changed. 

Eddie was struck by you the second you crashed into his chest. He had seen you occasionally with Nancy in the halls but never could come up with a good excuse to approach you. He thought you were cute, like really fucking cute. So cute to the point that when you did actually touch him (by accident) he popped a boner the second your sparkling eyes looked into his for the first time. Lame, he knows. He couldn’t believe you had this visceral reaction over his body, but all he could think about was your lips, how they moved when you spoke his name and how you smiled at him. Eddie was absolutely screwed, and he had to do something about it he just didn’t know how. So when you finally approached him at Mike’s one day he seized his one opportunity. Turns out you were really fucking cool, on top of being really fucking cute. 

Eddie wanted to spend the most amount of time with you that he could. He was always asking to hang out one on one. His favourite would be when you would ask him over to your house. He loved being able to have access to all things you. The first time he was invited over he couldn’t believe his luck. In the midst of your hang out, you had to take a phone call in the hallway and you left him alone in your room. Eddie felt like a creep the first time but he had to know. He found your underwear drawer, it was filled with soft cotton and lace. His eyes almost popped out of his head when his hands found your red lacy thong. Pocketing it and slamming your drawer ship when he heard you giggle goodbye. 

The second time Eddie was left in your room you told him you were going to take a quick shower, leaving him to his own devices for a least ten minutes, he saw your book on your nightstand, it had a cutesy little cartoon cover, very girly, he was planning on mocking you when you got back in because who reads romance novels? He opened up to where your bookmark was, and his eyes bulged open when he saw what exactly it was you were reading

His strong hands gripped my bare hips as he pinned me down to the bed. His fingers travelled down to my soaked pussy, slowly and agonizingly circling my sensitive clit. I begged for more but he only laughed, "Only good girls get what they want" he whispered and I ground my hips up into him the best I could, but his hold was too much. "Please' I begged. "Please Sir I will do anything, I want your cock so bad, I promise I'll be a good girl." I cried. He was torturing me...

Eddie could not believe his eyes, he had no idea you were so dirty. His best friend had another side to her that he had yet to see, that he would literally sell his soul to see. Oh to hear you say those dirty words to him that he had just read. He popped a boner just thinking about it. He hadn't time to fix it so he grabbed your cow squishmallow to put on his lap when you re-entered the room in nothing but your pink bath towel. You were literally going to be the death of him. 

You loved when Eddie would come over, but you also loved being in Eddie’s space. Being consumed by all things Eddie, the decor, the smell, the comfort of being surrounded by him. Eddie let you into his home anytime and all the time, it didn’t matter if he wasn’t home yet, you knew where the spare key was, he texted you he would be home in 40 minutes so you let yourself in and hung out until he got back. 

You walked into Eddie’s room and the urge to snoop was growing. You didn’t know what you were looking for until you found it. Stashed under his mess of clothing was Eddie's laptop. Your hands couldn’t move fast enough to the search history. Luckily for you, he was dumb enough to be logged into everything automatically. You didn’t care that this was wrong, yet you wanted to know if he had been talking to anyone. You hadn’t seen him romantically attached to anyone in the almost year you’ve been just friends. You're sure he would tell you. However, the jealousy gremlin was nipping at your ear; telling you to keep going. 

After being unsuccessful at finding any dirt you continued through the search of his laptop and found a particularly interesting bookmark. You knew this was so wrong and he probably would never forgive you if he found out but you had to know what Eddie was into. 

You clicked on the link and a porn website opened. The video was of a woman solo touching herself, and using very racy language about what she would do to the watcher. It was much different than what you consumed when you were to indulge yourself, but it was starting to turn you on as you examined the naked woman spread out in front of you. Thinking about Eddie and what he would be doing while watching this…in this bed you were sitting on, naked, touching himself to her sexy words. You thought about how big he would be, how those delicious fingers would grip himself. You often found yourself dazing out while staring at his thick ring-clad fingers. Especially when he would practice guitar, and how quickly he could move them without missing a note. Your mind drifted and you found yourself lying down in Eddie’s bed. 

Trailing your hands down underneath the waistband of your jeans, you brought a worn t-shirt that was thrown on the bed up to your nose, it smelled so strongly of Eddie. Your fingers teased your clit edging yourself as you pretended they were your best friends. You thought of how it would be to have him on top of you, how it would feel to have his cock slip past your entrance. You hummed his name quietly over and over until the slam of the screen door made you jump and you snapped out of your bliss. You quickly exited the screen and slid the laptop under the pile of clothes that rested atop the bed before Eddie entered his room. 

A bright smile struck his face when he saw you there sitting in his bed. He was oblivious to what you had been doing seconds earlier. Eddie's mind spun with the scenarios he imagined the both of you in, preferably naked. He never divulged these fantasies, of course, he couldn’t have you finding out about what a perv he was for you, or else you would never let him near you again. 

Tonight Eddie invited you to watch in on Hellfire because you told him Nancy had a date and you had nothing to do this Friday night. You’d never attended before, you were always busy with Nancy. So when you showed up to game night you didn’t know what to expect. Eddie tried so many times to explain the game to you but you never really understood, there were too many rules and you’d always zone out as you watched his plump lips at work. Day dreaming of them on your lips, or on your neck, or on your pussy.

You walked up the the Wheeler household feeling a bit strange that you weren't here to see Nancy. You were let in by Mrs. Wheeler who was on her way out with Mr. Wheeler for a very rare date night.

"Hey guys" you greeted the group as you made your way down to the basement. 

“Hey, cutie" Eddie greeted back with the biggest smile on his face. 

It truly was a mystery to the others how the both of you weren't picking up one another's signals. You saw Mike roll his eyes after Eddie spoke but you took it like he didn't was his annoying sister's friend here to ruin their ritual. Little moments between you two were clear as day to any onlooker but to the both of you, you were oblivious. Too blind to see the signs because you’ve convinced yourselves that the other one would never share the same feelings. 

You had settled in sitting on the couch behind the DND table so you could give them space without crowding around. Eddie was directly facing you so you could see everything but still do your own thing.

As the night progressed you’d been so turned on by Eddie’s performance. The passion that filled him, the way he deepened his voice, the gaze in his eyes as he described the frightening scenes that played out for the club members. Everything that you lusted for from Eddie was heightened by 100 tonight. Eddie had such a hold over you that he didn't even know about. 

You crossed your legs trying to focus on the tiktoks you tried distracting yourself with however they were not helping because it had been a bunch of thirst traps and sexy excerpts from romance novels. Yes, you were on Booktok and no you were not ashamed of being an avid smut reader. 

Since the distractions were not working and the throbbing between your legs was becoming unbearable you needed to excuse yourself, and quickly. You barely mumbled that you needed the washroom before sprinting to the main floor to find some peace in the powder room. 

You shut the door so quickly you may have accidentally slammed it which altered Eddie's even more. He was worried about you. You'd been squirming on the couch looking very uncomfortable, and then you ran out of there like a bat out of hell. He knew he needed to see if you were okay, maybe you had gotten your period or something? 

Eddie walked up the steps and called out your name but there was no answer. As he rounded the corner he noticed the light coming from under the closed bathroom door. He walked closer and heard your muffled voice but couldn't make out the words. As he approached the door he almost knocked but froze halfway when he heard your voice loud and clear.

"Eddie please" you moaned. Eddie couldn't believe his ears because there was no way this was happening...until you did it again.

"Fuck me please, Eddie right there!" you gasped. Your clit had been throbbing the whole time you’d been downstairs you couldn’t help but relieve it. You were silently watching the secret video you had taken of Eddie while he was commanding the game. It has turned you on so much, and watching it back was even better. Eddie didn’t know what to do. But he had to think quickly because his time was limited. He hesitantly knocked on the door and cleared his throat before he spoke. “ uhhh are you alright right in there?” he stuttered out his words. The knock on the door scared you. You let out a small scream as you ripped your hands away from yourself and up to your chest feeling your heart pounding. How much had Eddie heard? How much does he know you don’t think you’re being that loud? Where are you? Oh shit, maybe you were? 

“Uhhh I’m-I’m fine Ed’s” you managed to stutter. Oh my god, you were mortified. The handle of the door giggled like Eddie was trying to come in. “Come on sweetheart open the door I really need to come in,” he continued on jiggling the door until you unlocked it. Eddie needed to seize this moment. He was never going to have another opportunity like this.

“Eddie I-” You didn’t finish your sentence because Eddie had cut you off with a kiss as he cupped your face while backing you into the opposite wall. “You’re such a little pervert. I know what you think about now when you want to touch yourself, do you think about me and what my fingers can do to you huh?” Eddie broke away from the kiss and started kissing down your neck. All of this was so sudden. You had no idea that this was going to happen when you had left the basement. “I’m not a pervert!” You defend yourself. “No baby? So if I took your hand and sniffed these fingers I wouldn’t smell your pussy all over them?” he cocked his brow. “And I didn’t hear you moan my name twice just now?” He hummed. You had never heard Eddie speak like this, not even in your wildest dreams did you think he had such a filthy mouth. “You want me, baby? I heard you and your dirty words through the door. Do you want Eddie to make you feel good? Can’t get off without me? That's it huh?” Eddie’s cockiness was only making you wetter. “Fuck Eddie I need you I have needed you for so long. Please touch me.” You gasped as his plump lips sucked the delicate skin of your neck.

“Could have just asked baby, I would give you the world” His hand grazed up your leg to the open zipper of your jeans until his calloused fingers found the waistband of your baby pink panties. Your breath hitched as he found his way into your pants, brushing over the short hair of your mound to your slick wet slit. “Oh oh oh baby,” he chuckled darkly “you’ve been hiding this from me? I don’t think you deserve me to touch you, you’ve been very naughty. Tell me, baby, you always get this wet for me? What other dirty things do you do when I’m not around?” Your mind was numb with pleasure as Eddie slowly made contact with your pussy lips. He was being so mean like he was punishing you, grazing everywhere but your clit. “Fuck. Eddie please” you beg girding your hips up into his fingers to get some relief.

“I don’t think so sweetheart” you’ve been a very bad girl. “Have I? You try to spit back. “I recall you stealing my favourite pair of panties. Don’t play innocent Munson. I found them in your room yesterday.” You chide.

Eddie kissed you to shut you up. His tongue pushed its way into your mouth as you moaned in pleasure. Your slippery slick coated Eddie’s fingers as they prodded their way up into your tight hole. “Oh, Eddie!” You sighed. “Fuck say my name again” he growled.

“Eddie!” You moaned throwing your head against the wall. His fingers were so thick. He really knows how to work his fingers. “That’s it scream my name” his cocky smirk hasn’t left his face. All disregarding everyone downstairs, you didn’t try and keep quiet. Eddie watched your chest heave as your breasts raised and fell. His free hand scaled up your shirt over your bra. His hands explored your breasts and he pulled down the cup to free you. His hands worked your nipple and your clit. The way his fingers felt exploring your body only made the feeling in your core build and build. Eddie dipped his head to take your perked nipple in his mouth. You arched your back into him and his warm tongue latched onto you. A soft “Eddie baby” slipped from your lips as you were washed away with the feeling of everything Eddie. You were getting so close so fast, you had already warmed yourself up and Eddie was here to take all of the credit. Not that you’re complaining but the coil in your core was being wound up so tightly you need for it to snap. “I'm so close! please don’t stop.” 

“Oh, so you are a good girl who knows her manners, go on then, on cum for me baby” 

Eddie kissed the sweet spot on your neck while playing with your nipple with one hand and your pussy with the other. Your senses were on overdrive and you were bumming from his words. Your body shook and your release dripped down Eddie’s fingers. A few seconds later after you come down from your high you realize that he was having all the fun and you haven’t touched him yet. You graze your hand down his stomach, to the button of his black jeans. You quickly moved your fingers to unbutton and unzip his pants. You slide down the bathroom wall and get on your knees in front of Eddie. He gathered your hair in his hands and you pulled out his cock. “You’re complaining about me hiding from you when you’ve been holding out on me this whole time?” You don't hesitate. You start making out with the base of his cock moving your way up to the tip. You coddle his balls in one hand and use the other to tease the tip of his red cock. “Fuck” Eddie sucks in a breath. You continue to worship his cock. How could you not? It was so pretty, long and thick, and slightly curved to the right. Hearing Eddie whimpering above you was music to your ears. You loved the feel of the weight of him on your tongue. You swirled your tongue on his tip taking in the taste of his precum before sliding down his length to the hilt. His pubs tickled your nose but you ignored that as you hummed onto his cock. You bobbed your head up and down. It was messy and it was loud. 

“Baby fuck fuck fuck if you keep going like that I’m-” Eddie couldn’t finish his sentence before he came down your throat. The hot thick liquid ran hot down your throat. “Shit I’m sorry I’m sorry” he panted as you continued to suck him dry. Humming in satisfaction. Eddie finally loosened the grip of your hair as you pulled back and opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue to show him you’d swallowed it all. Eddie’s eyes went wide, he hadn’t expected you to be so filthy, just for him. He pulled you back up by your hair to stick his tongue down your throat. A giggle left your mouth and he pulled away. 

“We are so doing that again” he breathed. 

A pounding on the bathroom door made you both jump. 

“We get it you guys are disgusting! Let's get back to the game please!” The sound of Lucas’s angry voice came from the other side of the door. You could practically hear his eye-roll. Eddie and you burst out laughing “Come on baby, the Dungeon Master needs to finish up and then I will be seeing you later for more” Eddie left you in the bathroom, flushed and more than satisfied. You couldn’t wait for him to finish that sexy little game. 

[darknight3904]

All Too Well

Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: The first month in Jackson passes by slowly. Joel wishes you'd confront him about the past but fear has your lips sealed tight.

Warnings: 18+ Language, SA (Not by Joel), Starvation, Animal Death, Eating Disorders, Plastic boobs, and Lingerie (do we need a warning for those things?) Joel and Reader are pros at avoiding the elephant in the room!

Word Count: 4.1k

Previous Part / Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist

I didn't have much time to edit this one so sorry if there are typos :)

December 31, 2023

Joel carefully set the table according to Maria's directions. His new sister-in-law had decided that a New Year's Eve dinner would be appropriate for this year. Of course, drinks with the rest of the community at the Tipsy Bison would follow.

He eavesdropped on Ellie and Tommy's conversation from the other room.

"And then, you just keep mixing like this." Tommy explained, "And then...slowly fold in the sugar."

"You're pretty good at this." She compliments

"Had a real good teacher."

When he and Ellie stepped into the warm home, Joel could hardly believe what he was seeing. His younger brother was wearing a purple and green apron, baking a fleet of cupcakes to share with the rest of Jackson. Twenty years ago, Tommy would've eaten half-frozen pizza bites and dubbed it "a healthy dinner."

Joel had no idea how Maria had turned his brother into the Pillsbury Dough Boy, but he had to admit it was one of the funnier things he'd seen in a while.

Speaking of Maria, Joel swore he'd eventually win her over. He was pretty sure she was slowly warming up to him. After all he'd only been in Jackson a month or so and here he was invited to a family dinner.

"Dude, your brother is like...the best baker in the world," Ellie says as she shuffles into the dining room.

"Really? Last time I saw him he was still burning Chef Boyardee." Joel teases

"That was years ago, asshole!" Tommy's voice calls to defend himself, "I'm a great cook now. Besides I don't recall you being some Master Chef, Joel."

"Two days you burned that bacon I brought home from that Jesse kid," Maria said flatly as she checked on the ham in the oven.

"You're not helping."

"I wasn't trying to."

The sudden gust of cold air has Joel turning his attention the the front door that has slammed against the wall behind it.

"Shit, it's so windy out there!"

He'd know that voice anywhere, how could he forget it? Ever since his arrival in Jackson, he practically heard it every time he closed his damn eyes. 

Joel watched as you hung your coat up and pulled your boots off before greeting Maria who was already standing there with open arms. He awkwardly stood as you greeted Tommy with the same amount of enthusiasm before letting your gaze fall on him. 

He feels his mouth dry up as you take him in. What is he supposed to say? Hi? Long time no see? Sorry, I broke up with you and then the world ended? 

Lucky for him a certain 14-year-old is there and always ready to fill the silence. 

“Hi, I'm Ellie.” 

Joel watched as she bounced right up to you, eager to get to know the new stranger. 

“I know…I've uh seen you around the stables.” You say slowly

“Oh yeah! That foal Shimmer she's super cute!” 

Dinner is awkward or well, Joel is awkward. He sits next to Ellie and listens to her talk your ears off about this and that, mostly mundane things like her comics or fun facts about space. You listen intently, adding comments here and there and Joel's reminded of the way you'd listen to Sarah's ramblings. 

Tommy nudges his foot under the table and Joel looks up to see Maria looking at him expectantly.

“Sorry, what?” He asks 

“I was asking if you'd want to try your hand at patrol later this week. Tommy said you're not fitting in with any of the other jobs around here.” She says 

The idea is a great one, truly. Joel has felt rather trapped the past month behind Jackson's huge walls. Leaving again would feel like a breath of fresh air. 

“That’d be great.” He nods in thanks, thinking of how nice it'd be to do something other than bake bread or sweep stables. 

“Good.” Maria smiles before turning to you, “And you, can show Joel the ropes.” 

Joel nearly chokes on his food and he hears you sputter into your glass of water. 

“What?” 

Three days later and It's around 7 in the morning when Maria forces you and Joel out of the gates of Jackson. Mounted on horseback Joel follows your lead as you explain the basic route. 

“We'll stop down at this mall today. Sweep for infected and people.” You say, “There's a Macy's that hadn't been cleared out yet, Ellie might like some of the girl's clothes there.” 

Joel nods, he hasn't said anything much to you, only asking a few questions. Truly, he's not sure what to say. Does he start with small talk, the weather, how Shimmer is doing? Or does he dive right in to address what both of you dance around? 

Joel follows you around, listening to you talk about the route, what you normally see, and how many people you've run into in the past few months. Unsurprisingly, he's good at all of it, asking the right questions and following your lead. Now, as you stand in the ruins of Greenpines Mall, you watch him sift through racks of the Juniors section of Macy's. 

“Can I help?” You ask, probably tired of just standing there in silence and watching him.

“Uh, yeah. She's into space and dinosaurs. Probably a size small in everything but hoodies. Said she likes em’ oversized.” 

You nod and walk to another rack, pushing different items aside and mumbling about how hard it was going to be to find a dinosaur in the teenage girl's section.

Joel stuffs a few items into his backpack and you're able to find a nice maroon sweatshirt. 

“The men's section is that way.” You point to your left, “I'm gonna uh… go upstairs and grab some stuff for myself.” 

“Should stick together.” Joel reasons, following where your finger points “Safer like that.” 

You look at him and he hopes you can tell he's being fully serious. His brows pinch together, anticipating you'll reject him. 

“Fine. But no complaining.” 

Joel wasn't expecting to find himself in the lingerie section of the store. The embarrassed huff he lets out has you laughing. At least you were happy about all this. 

“Quit whining, I just need a few new bras.” You sigh turning away from him as he stands there, making sure his eyes remain fixed on the floor. 

Just because the world had ended didn't mean he wanted to be surrounded by racks of ladies' underwear and bras.

You only get about twenty steps from him and he takes a small step back, bumping into something tall. A loud curse falls from his lips as he tries to catch the mannequin he's knocked over. 

“God bless it…” He groans, trying to stand her back up. 

He catches the way you roll your eyes when his hands land on the mannequin's plastic tits, perfectly obscured bythe  red lace of some skimpy overpriced thing. 

He didn't mean to do that, he swears. 

“Maybe don't grope the models, Joel.” You tease 

“I'm not.” Joel snaps, finally getting it to stand again, “Walked into it by accident.” 

“Sure you did.” 

Joel didn't know what to expect from you today. Stony silence had been at the top of his list. Teasing him though? That hadn't been anywhere on his radar. 

You're so different yet familiar at the same time, it's driving him up the wall. 

He keeps his eyes on the floor as you hum an unknown tune, picking different things up for yourself, and muttering about sizing.

Joel lets out a grunt when you shove something into his chest. 

“Give these to Ellie too.” You say, “In the apocalypse, a girl can never have too many sports bras.” 

He doesn't bother looking at the fabric in his hands, trusting your judgment and simply moving to place it next to the shirts he's already picked up for Ellie. 

The ride back to Jackson is quiet. No teasing words from you, and the horse's trotting fills the silence as a few birds chirp as they fly overhead. 

The fact that you seem content not to mention anything from the past has Joel's stomach in knots. Surely you can't be okay with it all? He's spent the past month worrying about how he'd ever address any of it. 

“We're not gonna talk about it?” He asks

“About what?” You ask “You mean the mannequin? I was just kidding about that, Joel.” 

“About us.” He says quietly 

A beat of silence and then, 

“What do you want me to say, Joel?” 

“Anythin’. Yell at me. Scream. Slap me.” Joel huffs, “Don't wanna spend time dancin’ around our past. Let it all out.” 

You let out a scoff that has Joel's stomach dropping, 

“I don't see why I should do any of that. It was 20 years ago, Joel. I've made my peace with it.” 

Joel looks over at you, taking in the way the setting sun makes your features glow. Your gaze is fixed on the gates of Jackson. They're only half a mile away but they might as well be half a million with the way your gaze is so permanently fixed on them. All of a sudden, you're adamant about not looking at him. 

A dozen things swarm in his mind. Half of him wants to get off his horse, pull you off yours and shake you until you come to your senses, to urge you to put him through the ringer and really let him have it. The other half of him is telling him that you look really good today and that he noticed your bra size has gone up since 2003. 

God, he was losing it. 

So many things that could be said, perhaps should be said yet all that comes out of him is, 

“Alright, suit yourself.” 

For the next two weeks,  Joel doesn't see much of you. Every once in a while he peaks through the curtains of his own home, hoping to get a glimpse of you returning but, he never does.

Ellie of course, takes immediate notice of his window-watching and declares that he ‘has a huge crush on the horse lady next door!’. 

To Joel's mortification, she takes this information to Maria who tells Tommy, and before Joel knows it he's being teased by his younger brother in his own damn home. 

“And she doesn't know anything about you and her?” Tommy asks one evening over a glass of whiskey 

“No. And I'm keeping it that way. So don't go running your mouth.” Joel says glaring at his younger brother. 

Tommy raises his hands in Innocence. 

“If Ellie finds out it won't be from me.” He says, “But she'll find out, eventually. You know that right, Joel?” 

“No, she won't.” 

You spend more time and effort avoiding Joel than you should. At first, you thought you might be able to work around your shared past, but you teased him on your one and only shared patrol shift. But, when Joel asked you to share your thoughts on the past, you had clammed up. It was then, half a mile from Jackson's gates that you knew you wouldn't be able to be friendly with him. 

You didn't know what Joel wanted. He said he wanted you to scream at him, to curse him out about a three-month relationship that happened 20 years ago. And maybe, if he'd shown up a few years back with Tommy you might've. Instead, it's like your mouth has been glued shut about it all. 

Over the past two weeks, your mind had conjured a thousand different things to say to him. Some are full of anger, others sadness. But, you never say any of them. Instead, you choose to avoid him, trading patrol shifts and even taking graveyard shifts at the wall to put distance between the two of you. 

Maria had coined it one day after you invited her over for lunch so you could talk to her about her baby. 

“You're scared.” She said after listening to the way you described not being able to confront him about it.

“Scared?” You scoff as you shove a spoonful of soup into your mouth, “He should be scared of me.” 

“You're scared it'll happen all over again. That he'll leave you like he did back then.” 

Maria was so wrong. Honestly, she was losing her mind. You chalked it up to the baby. Yes, that evil little fetus was probably munching away at her brain to grow its own. Ironic since Cordyceps pretty much did the same thing. 

Scared? You weren't scared of Joel Miller. No, not in a thousand years.

Wednesday, January 21, 2024. A day that Joel was going to mull over probably for the rest of his life. After all, it marked the start of a friendship.

He was surprised to find you already in the stables, ready for patrol for the day. Finally, you'd turned up instead of some random person you'd found to switch shifts with. 

“Mornin’ sweetheart.” He says, the name flying off his tongue before he can stop it. 

You shoot him a look he can't quite place as he saddles up his horse, Turnip. 

“Don't do that.” You huff as you stroke your own horse, Pepper's mane avoiding eye contact with him. 

“What?” Joel asks dumbly knowing full well you mean the nickname he'd let slip. 

How many times had he called you that back in the day? Over the three months, it must've been well over a thousand. 

“ Don't give me little nicknames with that stupid voice of yours and pretend you don't know what you're doing.” You scold 

“Sorry.” Joel sighs, pulling himself onto his horse as you saddle up, “Wait you think my voice is stupid?” 

The day goes by smoothly. No infected or people to be seen. Joel is surprised when you point out deer tracks. 20 years ago you'd shuddered at the idea of blood, now you were plotting the demise of some deer that wasn't even here. 

“It's probably long gone.” He says 

Your face falls in disappointment, “Really?” 

“Tracks are old. There's snow drifts over a few of them too.” He points at the ground to the prints that are further up.

“Damn…I thought I had it this time.” You huff 

“Tracking isn't easy.” Joel says, “Takes time.” 

“Tommy's been teaching me, but I'm not really good at it.” You sigh 

Joel feels jealousy swirl in his chest. What was he even jealous of? His married brother teaching his ex-girlfriend a vital survival skill in the apocalypse? There was something seriously wrong with Joel's brain these days. 

“You're better than Ellie. She wouldn't have even seen the tracks, let alone been able to tell that it was a deer.” 

“So you're saying I'm a bit better than a 14-year-old who doesn't even know what the Internet was?” 

Joel shrugs and gives you a small smile. 

“Thanks, Joel. I appreciate it.” You roll your eyes 

“Anytime, sweetheart.” 

A sharp glare is sent to him and he sits up a bit straight. Turnip snorts as he falls into step beside Pepper. 

“Sorry, I'll stop. I swear.” 

Joel watches as you munch away at deer jerky and dried pieces of fruit. He takes note of the way you practically engulf your lunch. He'd noticed the same thing a few weeks back at the New Years Eve dinner. You'd shoved your entire plate of the delicious ham Maria had made into your mouth in record time. Even Ellie had taken more time to eat the meal and Joel had recently watched the kid eat three cookies in what was basically one bite. 

“Slow down.” He warns “You're going to choke.” 

You look up from your food, staring at him with wide eyes and a stuffed mouth that probably would put chipmunks to shame.

“This is slow.” You say after you somehow swallow it all. 

Joel raises a brow at that. Do you even realize you've put away nearly double what he had in half the time? 

During your time together you'd often reminded Joel of a bird. Picking at different foods and then slowly eating whatever you deem good. In true college student fashion, most of those foods had been pizza and greasy Chinese takeout. Not that he could blame you, he also thoroughly enjoyed both of those things way back when. 

The woman who sits In front of him is not the one he dated as a 35-year-old man. You're even eating the raisins out of the trail mix, and Joel knows you hate raisins. 

“Just…take a breath. Drink some water.” He says, eying you carefully, pushing the canteen towards you. 

You huff and unscrew the cap, drinking a bit before shutting it again. 

“Happy?” 

“Yes,” Joel says 

Back on the horses, Joel notices the way you're looking a bit ill. Your face is screwed up a bit and he can tell you're nauseous. It's from eating too quickly, he can tell. You'd eaten all of your food and then when he'd offered some of his own, you'd enthusiastically taken him up on it. Normally he'd have no issues with it but it was the speed that concerned him. 

“Wanna stop for a bit?” He asked, hoping you weren't going to puke onto poor Pepper's head. 

You nod and quickly dismount from Pepper. Joel ties the horses off on a nearby tree before walking over to you. Patrol be damned, he had to make sure you weren't going to lose all the food you just ate. 

You're curled up on yourself, your head resting on your knees as he sits down next to you. 

“You okay?” He asks 

“Sorry.” You mumble sadly into your knees 

“For what?” Joel asks, “You're doing me a favor, getting me off that horse. My back is aching.” 

“Sorry for being a glutton. I ate all my own food and then some of yours…” You groan, “I'm disgusting.” 

“You're not a glutton.” Joel says, “Being hungry isn't a crime. Just gotta eat it slower. You're making yourself sick.” 

You're silent for a moment, probably weighing your options as Joel runs his gloved hands through the snow. And then, in a voice so quiet it nearly missed it, you speak again, 

“It's not my fault…” 

Joel looks over at you, your head is back up, and you're focused on the threads of your jacket and the way they've begun to pull away from the seam. 

“It's not my fault.” You say again, a bit louder again

“What's not your fault?” Joel asks, unsure of where this is going 

“The doc at the clinic says it's…that it's because of the time I spent with them. It's because of them that I can't eat normally anymore.” You say sadly 

“Spent time with who?” Joel asks 

“Adam. And the others. Especially the leader, he was missing two teeth.” You say, staring at your hands 

“Who's Adam?” Joel asks softly 

He wants you to look at him, even just the smallest glance right now would bring him some peace of mind. This Adam, Joel wanted to know who he was, where he was, what he'd done. 

All of a sudden, you're staring right at him, eyes glossed over with fear, 

“No one.” You whisper “No one at all.” 

May 2017 

Loki had been dead for two weeks. Two weeks since you'd been tied to this tree, two weeks of no food and just stale water poured from the redhead's canteen in the middle of the night. 

The redhead, Adam, pours you water each night after the others have passed out. He's supposed to be keeping watch, not making sure their newest toy is hydrated enough not to die. 

“Slow down.” He says, the back of his hand on your head as he holds the canteen to your lips 

When it's finally empty you look at him. He has blue eyes, something you hadn't taken note of before. 

“You need to eat it. They won't give you anything else until you do.” He advises 

Adam points at your feet where a small bag sits. You know what he's talking about. The leader, the one who reeks and is missing his two front teeth took special care to dry out a piece of your pet. Each day he'd demand you eat the jerky that was made from Loki. 

“I can't.” You say 

“They'll let you starve. I've seen it before with other girls.” Adam says, pulling a piece of the jerky out, “Just one bite, and I bet he'll give you deer tomorrow.” 

“Why should I?” You hiss “Why should I bother eating? So I can be strong for whenever you want to use me? I'd rather starve than extend my time here with you.” 

Adam looks at you, his face unreadable. You watch as he stands back up, backing away from you and your tree.

“Fine, starve then.” 

Another week passes before he coaxes a bite of the jerky into your mouth. The leader sees this, and claps you on the back, 

“What a good whore you're going to be.” 

The next day, a small bowl of venison-filled soup is presented to you. 

Adam spoons it into your mouth bite by bite cooing to you that you're doing so well. 

When you've finished the bowl, you want to ask for more, but Adam has you standing up.  Before you can protest or ask for more food,  your pants have been ripped down to your ankles and Adam takes you against your tree.

Your hot tears begin to dribble down your face as you try to block out Adam's grunts. 

The other men cheer when he finishes.

Warm cum drips down your legs as vomit pools in your throat, you lose the soup and the last bit of your dignity with it. 

Your days are long. You spend most of them on your back or on your belly. The other men are content with this, just wanting the warmth of a woman here at the end of the world.

 The worst of it though is whenever the leader, who you've dubbed the Walrus since no one ever says his name, puts you on all fours beneath him. 

You quickly learn that the Walrus has a kink for pain. Or well, inflicting it. You don't get to see them, but each night Adam cleans your back and inner thighs, changing bandages and keeping the cuts from the Walrus’ knife clean. 

The Walrus also takes delight in giving you what was basically toddler-sized portions of food. A couple of bits of jerky one day, followed by three small spoonfuls of beans the next. He laughs whenever he sees you watching the men eat. He'll say something about women not deserving more than what he's already giving you before walking off.

You swear that you're going to be nothing but a pile of bones as the days roll by. 

At night, Adam feeds you more food. In exchange you let him pepper your skin with kisses. It turns out that if you pretend to like it, not only is he gentler when he puts himself inside, but he'll also bring you more food. 

Some nights you're so full it feels like you'll burst. Adam gets what he wants, a fake lover, and you get what you want, a full belly. 

Winter 2024 

You're silent during the ride back into Jackson. You whisper something to Pepper and Joel finds himself asking if he can walk you home. Physically you're right next to him but mentally? Joel can tell you're not there, you're trapped in some memory, for your sake, he hopes it's a good one. 

He walks you right up to your front porch and watches as you fumble with your keys. He says your name out loud for the first time in 20 years and you're snapping out of whatever trance you were in. 

“I know you don't want to talk about us…but I…I don't want to be a stranger to you.” He says honestly 

Joel can't lose you. He doesn't want to, not again. Fear be damned, he was going to keep you by his side this time. 

“Can we…can we be friends?” He asks slowly 

He can tell you're tossing it around your brain, thinking it over. 

“Okay.” You say after a moment, “We can be friends.” 

Next Part

I hope I was clear enough but: 

For those that can't tell, basically in the current time the reader has a fear of food being withheld the way it was with Adam. The result is binge eating until she's sick from it. She basically views food as a safety blanket of sorts and is scared that it'll disappear if she doesn't consume it. 

And yes, Joel's return into her life will slowly fix this issue. 

Updates are going to be slower since I have finals coming. Hope you can bear with me and please pray I pass my math one. It's a core class and I need her to keep going in my major ❤️

Comment to be added to the tag list. This tag list is not chapter by chapter, I carry the tags over to each part.

Tags:

@lunaticgurly  @orcasoul  @snowlycanroc  @freythecrazyfae

@person-005 @greenwitchfromthewoods

[livingsurreal]

Thoughts and theories in regards to my favorite senior necromancer

This man swept me of my feet so completely that I am still reeling. He is my new Solavellan and the amount of feels I have about him, its ungodly.

So I present to you my way to long essay about why Emmrich is the saddest and greatest man Bioware ever created, right next to Solas.

Please be aware of spoilers if you have not completed the game yet.

Also, shutout to @jaal-ama-daravv - you were looking for others peoples thoughts and theories. Also, thank you for all your posts and love for Emmrich.

My second meta post is here!

(Edit for typos)

Their whole romance starts with dear Rook trying to flirt with him. And Rook being Rook their flirts are… questionable. I image Rook always doing a facepalm “Oh god, what did I just say?” afterwards. They… are not really that good at flirting. Half the time he doesn’t even seem to get that Rook was flirty with him.

But, oh, he did get it. He just couldn’t really comprehend it. This pretty, young and exciting person, flirting with him?!? Rook can be anything up to their mid-40s according to canon. That is not that much younger than him. But to him, they do SEEM young. Despite them being somewhat younger than Emmrich, I do think though, in quite a few ways, they are more experienced and knowledgeable than him. Emmrich led a pretty sheltered life. His childhood seems to be a happy one, despite them being poor. The loss of his parents had a huge impact on his life. To a degree where it still impacts him in a major way, even now, a lifetime later. But outside of that, I don’t think there was much strife or adventure in his life.

He is a quiet man who loves his books, and his time and work in the necropolis. He rarely even left the Necropolis. He never saw much of the world outside of it. But he always wanted to. Always dreamed of some kind of adventure. I think this is one of the reasons he so readily agreed to help Rook. A chance for adventure (and to help the world).

So here he finds himself in the company of a vibrant adventurous Rook who has seen and experienced so much. I think no matter their age difference, they would seem younger, “fresh faced” and vibrant to him. They are so full of life compared to him, who has not done that much living in recent years. They are less stuck in their ways, are out in the world and not sequestered in a life of routine.

In some ways he seems to be older than he is. That man is in his 50s. That is NOT old. But he seems to have lacked the courage to take life by its horns and just ride it. He is cautious, a coward in many ways. But somehow this dear Rook seems to bring out a different side of him. An almost forgotten yearning for more.

So, Rook awkwardly flirts with him. Bumbles and stumbles over words to flatter him. And he is exhilarated, touched and most of all confused. Why would this beautiful, vibrant person be interested in HIM of all people. There are other people around who should be so much more interesting to them than him. And how could he not be interested in them himself? They are, in a way, what he wants to be. Adventurous. Full of life. Indomitable. No matter what life throws at them, they refuse to yield. They have a courage the lacks, or thinks he lacks.

But that man is so much braver than he thinks. The fact that he is so open with Rook about his thanatophobia, even with a Rook that is not romantically interested in him is so touching. He tells them his most inner fears and all he wishes for it in return is some respect and kindness.

So, after some light and awkward flirting he tells them. If they DO mean it, he is interested. Emmrich is a deeply romantic man. In the dept of his heart he does not want a short-term affair. He wants someone to spend his life with. He wants something real. He wants everything.  It’s what he always wanted, but never found and had completely given up upon.  So he opens up a bit more.

But around that time, he also realizes that he absolutely has to tell them about his plans for lichdom. He tells the Rook on the friendship path why he hopes for their help in regard of Johanna. He explains why it is so important to him to find and stop Johanna.

Same goes for Rook on the romance path. But here comes the other side of the coin. Lichdom puts a possible halt on their fledging romance. He cannot know if Rook would be willing to continue what they’ve barely started.

They may either continue under the understanding that they have just temporary affair. What he never wanted. He always wanted that eternal flame – but by the Maker he wants to be with them, even if it is just a short time. He is still all feely at this point and the whole scope of his emotions have not yet hit him.

Or even, can he dare to dream, beyond that point of no return and stay with him after he becomes a Lich.

But he must put it out there. He cannot go further into their romance pretending his plans do not exist. He thinks Rook has a right to know what they are getting in to, and he is correct (and much respected) for that.

At the end, Rook commits to being with him with the full knowledge that Lichdom will come, sooner or later. If they stay with him from that point on is still undecided, but for now they are his. And how can he say no to that. He certainly did not expect this. I believe he fully expected this to be their end. But his confession ended truly in a night of unexpected splendor.

So, we know he always wanted “enduring affection”, love and commitment. And he had his fair share of lovers, paramours and affairs. I would think that he is someone who, when he does fall in love, loves so deeply and completely that it often scared his lovers away.

Not necessarily in an unhealthy way, but he is, underneath all that poise and manners, a deeply romantic man with strong emotions. I don’t think that Rook is special b/c he loves them more than he could love someone else, but b/c they not only accept all his love, more so, they welcome and return it in equal measure. They accept him and want him, even with all the baggage he comes with.

I think he was burned quite a few times in the past. So, he is trying to hold back, “be normal about it”. It’s just hard when this person he loves so much looks at him like he is their moon and stars and flame eternal. It’s hard when he feels finally and completely seen. He told them about his deepest fears, his plans about lichdom, and they are still here, willing to be on his side all the way. And while they seem to act like teenagers being all over each other, all want and need and stolen kisses, I think what they feel goes way deeper from the start.

At the same time, I also think that is partly at fault for not being able to find a lasting relationship. He had people in his live who did not want to fully commit to him. But I also think, the he never truly committed to anyone. He did, surely, on a more surface level. But a part of him always stayed closed off. He never gave himself completely. His fears made sure of that. What happens with Rook, the wonderful, oh so romantic start of their relationship? Only to end in this uncomfortable limbo because he lacks “the guts to say how he feels”? I think that was not the first time a relationship ended sour this way for him.

Take the amount of his feelings, add to that his thanatophobia, and that poor man becomes more and more a complete mess. What starts out as exciting and new and OMG THEY LIKE ME, becomes soon a new target for his fears. All those feelings inside him warring with each other. He wants to pin them against a wall and declare his undying love and run and hide at the same time.

Then comes Manfreds sacrifice and his big decision. Will he restore Manfred? Will he give up his friend to achieve his dreams?

Since I went with Manfred, I will mainly describe my feelings regarding mortal Emmrich. Though I believe Lich Emmrich suffers from the same base fears, they just find a different target.

Tbh, what Lace says to him certainly would not have helped. Her words feed into his doubts and fears and give them credibility. See, even Lace says this might not be right. Rook is younger. They move too fast. He will die earlier. Rook will be devastated. A whirlwind of emotions and half formed thoughts fueled by fear.

All he ever sees and what is constantly on his mind is not the time they can spend together, but the end of their time together. His death, their death, it does not matter. One of them will be gone and the other will be left with the pain he felt after his parents died. A pain that might even be worse than what he felt back then.

Rook being younger just becomes the vehicle by which he tries to convince himself that this might not be such a good idea after all. But its all his fears speaking.

And fear can be so strong, so overwhelming.

When they had this fight, my read on his words was that he wanted to break up with Rook. His words at that moment are condescending, bordering on mean.  He is lashing out. We know he can be vindictive when he feels wronged, but he is nothing but kind and gentle to those he likes and who treat him with respect. I think, in a way, that it was not necessarily a conscious decision, but more of an instinct to hurt Rook. To make them angry and not love him anymore. To make it easier to end it, spare them the pain of breaking up now and of loosing him to death one day. By protecting himself from the pain of their death should he outlive them.

As if that would work and make any difference to Rook, or him. They are already so madly in love with each other.

And I think, what makes Rook different from his previous partners is that they realized, if they let him finish this sentence, he might break something beyond repair. Even if it was his fear speaking at that moment, not his love. Running away from his feelings is a recurring theme for him. And he does not WANT to break up with them. But his fear tells him its better this way. Fear is a liar, though.

So they speak a harsh truth. It’s his fear, insecurities and cowardice speaking. They do not let him get away with it. It is harsh, yes. But I think it was also necessary. It spells out a truth he did not want to admit to himself. He is afraid, insecure and a coward. And the big question, is that what he wants to be? They are, in sadly not the nicest way, telling him to get hid goddamn shit together. And sometimes that’s needed. Especially for an academic man like Emmrich. No Emmrich, that is not logical. It is pure emotion and fear is running your life, not you.

In a perfect world they would have told him so in a calm and collected manner. Less harsh words and more kindness. But would that have had the same impact on Emmrich? Rook is a person too, with their own fears and hopes and dreams. And Emmrich right now is breaking their heart. I think he needed that. To see the pain and hurt he inflicted on them.

Can you imagine the regret he would feel in the end? If he left Rook? It would leave him a broken shell of a man. His final defeat. Fear had won. Nothing would be better, and no one would have been spared any pain. I would just be a lifetime of regret and what ifs. The one person who accepted him fully, loved him so deeply, and HE threw everything away.

I think, the time Rook was trapped inside the fade prison might have been the best thing that could happen in the long run. It’s all his fears come to reality. Rook is gone. He lost them. And he just wants to curl up and hide. But he can’t. He needs to find them. If he lets fear win now, Rook might be lost forever. He cannot allow himself to be coward now. I think this time was a come-to-Jesus moment for him. It forced him to look at his fears and what they’ve cost him. It’s a moment where he needs to stop letting fear control his life.

The last real private moment they had was a fight, filled with fear and anger. (That short apology in the middle of a battlefield was hardly private and could in no way make up for the words that were said.)

That last evening should have been a time filled with love. A memory to cherish. But now it’s a memory one would want to forget. And that was his own doing. It was not something out of his control, like “death”. It was his words and actions that tainted their time together. And what if that was the last time they’d seen each other, been with each other? What if that is his last real memory of them? The look of anger and pain and hurt on Rooks face, caused by HIM, by what he had actively said and done? I think this might be the first time he realizes that his fears take more from him, than death ever could.

Phobias and anxieties are not cured that easily, of course. I think in a way, they will always stay with him, to a degree. But I do think he had some important realizations that will put him on a path of growing. At least in regards of how he deals with his fears.

And then he found them. He found his Rook. They are back and they are alive. He can hold them in his arms again and how could he ever even think about turning away from them? They are a gift, a miracle, the deepest wish fulfilled. A wish he’d given up upon. Something he thought he would never have.

And then the last scene with the coffin. Okay here I go the Astarion route and I am absolutely convinced that that coffin is his. Of course he had planned all things in regards to his death. He had chosen the crypt he wanted to be buried in. And at that moment he took them there. The place that had been the mark of the final end, now the mark of the rest of his life. And Rook? Rook still wants him, after everything. They still love him.

When they pull him into a kiss? He doesn’t see the end of their time, but the start of the rest of their life together. That look on his face when Rook leads him to that coffin? This look of absolute vulnerability? I think, in a way, this is a first time for him. All open and vulnerable. All he is and feels no longer hidden away but cherished and loved. He will always fear loosing them, them loosing him, how could he not. But they are here and HE is finally able to truly commit. He is finally giving everything. He will always fear, but now love wins. Rook holds his heart in their hands, and he trusts them completely. He gives himself to them. He is theirs, forever.

Hell, that man breaks my heart in so many ways.

So what’s in store for them in the future? Sadly we do not get epilogue sliders for our LIs.

But those two I truly think are in it for the long haul. There will be many good days, filled with happiness and laughter and kisses. They will go on adventures, see the world, experience life together in its fullest.

There will also be bad days, when fear rears its head, and his chest hurts from the sheer pain it inflicts on him. But I hope he comes to a point where he is able to turn to Rook in those times, instead of pushing them away. Where he lets them comfort him, hold him, until this feeling loses its grip on him.

Those bad days will never diminish those wonderful days they have together, though. Just a rain cloud, hiding the sun for a day or two. And it can’t rain forever.

Then, when one of them finally goes on to their last journey, they will wait for their love. And when they are united again, they walk eternity hand in hand.

[pit-and-the-pen]

Unrequited Love

A/N: I had to get to the airport to return a rental car like 5 hours early so I’m so sorry for the pure amount that I’ve been posting today but as a socially awkward girly, if I’m on my own phone then for sure no one is going to talk to me.

Anywho here is some angsty angst about day court!reader and Azriel.

Part 2: Here Alt Ending: Here Part 3: Here

Forgive any typos I wrote this on my phone.

Warnings: none

WC-1.4K

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My blood was boiling beneath my skin. Azriel has been complaining for the better part of an hour about Rhys gag order regarding Elain. I was trying not to roll my eyes as I had reached my wits end with his lamenting.

“I just don’t understand why he needs to meddle in this. I get she’s Feyre's sister but he doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” he runs a hand through his hair and leans back in his chair. “I just can’t help but think that sometimes the cauldron gets it wrong.”

His words were spoken so plainly. Anger wanes for a second as I swear I could feel my heart break inside my chest. The words seemed to echo in my head Maybe the cauldron gets it wrong. I almost would have rather had him carve out my heart with truth teller.

“What do you think?” He asks me and I sit reeling over his words. I can’t think of anything to say to him. The comforting words I would normally have for him can’t get past the anger starting to cloud my vision. So I simply shrug, avoiding the question. Desperately trying to change the subject.

“So this new book I’m reading…”

“Oh c’mon.” He interrupts me. “I know you have something to say. And I trust your advice more than anyone else. There isn’t anyone else I would rather talk to about this.” His eyes softened as he looked towards me. Instead of melting under his gaze like I normally do, red bites at the edge of my vision.

“I think you should leave her the hel alone.” My tone is not gentle. He freezes.

“What?”

“She has a mate already. And regardless of if you think the cauldron got it right. Lucien is the one mated to Elain,” I tried to keep my voice neutral. “And Lucien is a wonderful male who has been through a lot of shit. He deserves someone as sweet as Elain, if she ever comes around. You should stop meddling.”

His mouth opens, when no words come out, he closes it again. You see the muscles in his jaw tick as he clenches his teeth.

“What has gotten into you? When did you become Lucien’s spokesperson?” He spits at me. His face starts to get closer to mine as he leans over the table, slowly starting to rise to his feet.

The sane part of me is telling me to stand down. That one of the most powerful warriors in all of Prythian was starting to get angry at me. My mate was starting to get mad at me. But I would not cave under his intimidation.

“I became his spokesperson when you showed no respect for him. Or for Elain.” I noticed I was starting to get to my feet. “What about what she wants? She doesn’t owe you anything more than she owes Lucien. Rhys told you to stay away from a girl you feel entitled to and now you want to mope like a petulant teenager. Grow up Azriel.” He flinches before something stoney sets in his eyes.

“At least I’ve actually told her how I felt. What about you?” My stomach drops into my knees. “Sitting and pining over the same person for a century.”

“You knew?” My voice was nothing more than a whisper. This was not happening. I should have left when I had the chance.

“It’s not like you tried to hide it. I thought at some point you would get the hint that it wasn’t going to happen but yet there you always were trailing behind me like a sad little puppy.”

My hands on the table started to glow faintly. My anger was finally breaking through the surface.

“You asshole. You stupid Illyrian bastard.” The smirk that graced his face fell instantly. “After everything that I’ve done for you, you want to use my feelings for you as some fucking weapon against me.”

Even I was surprised at the venom in my words but I was on a roll. “I sat by for five hundred years. I sat by as you pined over Mor, someone I consider my sister. I felt that bond go unreturned.” He completely froze at my words. Words I have never spoken out loud to anyone.

“Wait-“

“No. You get to hear this shadowslinger.” I pressed my finger to his chest and he stepped back like I had hit him. A small part of me wishes I had. But this. This right here is why Rhys kept me around. I didn’t need to throw a punch to put someone on their knees.

“I followed you around like a lost puppy and you loved it. Every second of it. I was stupid enough at some point to believe that it was because you felt it too. And I couldn’t get away from those feelings,could get away from you. Every time I tried I would damn near drive myself crazy and then you would smile or say some funny joke and I was right back to where I started.” I willed the slight shake in my voice to disappear. “You just wanted to feel important because the one you truly loved wouldn’t have even entertained the thought. Took other males into her bed, but not you right? So why not go for the next available thing. Me. Who cares if I got hurt? Who cares that I still fucking loved you through all of it? Not you clearly. You played me like a fucking fiddle and I played my part well.”

When I finally looked back up at his face I saw nothing but a shell of the male that stood in front of me. Even his shadows had retreated from his side. Looking down I realized they were sitting at my feet. I pushed down the glimmer of something I didn’t have time to think about at the sight.

“Please. Just stop.” He pleaded.

“Why? Because it hurts to hear? Fuck you. “And you think that didn’t hurt me too?” I watched him pale. “You didn’t think it killed me to feel that empty weight in my chest every time I looked at you. Everyday that I waited and wished that you would feel that stupid bond I’ve had to live with for the last two centuries.”

He gasped at my words cutting me off

“You never told me about that. I just thought it was… I don’t know… I thought it was a crush like how I felt with Mor”

A muscle in my jaw ticked. “I shouldn’t have had to! The whole point is that you feel it too. Bonds aren’t supposed to be one sided but for some gods unknown reason, you didn’t,” I felt the anger really starting to boil over.

“Every time I heard you rambling on and on about how perfect Mor was, about the females you took into your bed. I sat by all of it, for what? Three sisters for three brothers?!” I was screaming now, my hands shaking by my side

“What happens when she’s all fixed up too Azriel? When she feels this same thing I feel when she looks at Lucien. Onto the next one for me to hear about I guess . Always on the sidelines. Always the sweet face to come back to at the end of the day but never the one you want to be with.” I took a deep breath for the words about to come out of my mouth, steeling my nerves.

“I’m done. With this. With you. Fuck this entire gods damned city. I will not sit by and play second to whoever you deem worthy enough for the rest of my life.”

He held up his hand like he was going to reach up for me but the light that was glowing off my skin was warning enough.

“Where will you go?” Was all he had the nerve to say.

I let out a cold, twisted laugh. “Anywhere but here. Hel I could finally go home. Helion has

been asking me to come back for years now. All I know it will be somewhere where you can’t come and ruin another half a century of my life. Because that’s what you did. I wasted all this time on someone I knew wouldn’t love me. But I can agree with you on something, Azriel.” I paused long enough to see the hope in his eyes as he whispered “what?”

“That sometimes the cauldron does get it wrong.”

I walked out of that room with my head held high

[valentine-writes]

hii!! i was wondering if you could write headcanons for like the main four spider-kids (miles, gwen, pavitr and hobie) with a reader who like smacks people when they laugh really hard? preferably w/ a reader thats a spider-person but its up to you! :3

aggressive affection!

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, dude used once in a gender neutral way, mentions of bruising and minor injuries (but nothing crazy), spider-person reader, reader forgetting that being a spider-person makes them stronger,,, um. (°ー°〃) oops!!! 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

↳ ft. gwen stacy, hobie brown/spider-punk, miles morales, and pavitr prabhakar

author's note: YES I CAN YES I CAN!! this prompt iz so funny AUWWUDH I HOPE I DID IT JUSTICE!!! つ﹏⊂ also super excited 2 get to write more of them becuz AWUDGWAAHWGHWAGUAGH I LOVE THESE CHARACTERZ SMM,,, also excuse me if there's more repetition or typos than usual,,, im eepy ( つ᷄ ‸･ )

GWEN STACY headcanons

▸ the first one to fall victim to your little habit. she doesn't mind in the slightest, mainly because she's generally pretty welcome to friendly touches- even if it is slightly more aggressive than she had expected. frankly, you could've literally bitten her and she probably would've reacted the same.

she's a little awkward about it at first, pausing mid laughter as you deliver playful hits to her shoulder and bicep. she playfully shoves you away at first, like, "haha– what– what are you doing–" but quickly warms up to it

▸ here's the thing though. she 100% will do it back. if you're both joking around and losing it over something, you end up hitting each other through laughter. and it'll INTENSIFY. at some points, everyone's wondering if you two are actually beefing or not ur not. itz the way u show affection 2 one another,,, in the strangest manner

when you're assigned on missions with her, you usually end up chatting– and then you find something hilarious to giggle abt and everything goes off the rails

y'all will return to HQ bruised asf like "nah man the anomaly didn't even touch us."

jessica and miguel DEF pick up the fact y'all goof off and beat each other up before even locating the anomaly HWJEJNDNE

unfortunately– gwen is slowly paired less with you on missions becuz of this. they can't have you distracting one another a girl can never have fun fr </3

nothing that some good behaviour can't fix! just try not to give each other a complete smackdown while on duty and you'll be paired together again in no time! hopefully...

▸ both you and gwen forget that being spider-people involves super strength. and though you're both used to taking a blow or two, it stands plain and obvious that the two of you can get carried away. gwen especially. she's just a little rough sometimes– not like she means to be.

sometimes, the dull ache from the bruises she left leave you wondering if you're both a little too funny for your own good. at least she makes sure to take care of it and hold back,, when she can.

when it's your turn to get carried away, she sees your eyes widen as you splutter a million apologies to her. but every time you deliver one hit too hard, she insists it never hurts much as you think.

"dude, it's okay. you can chill out." gwen reassures. "besides, i'm built tougher than that."

she flashes a grin at you, and it's almost convincing. like she didn't even feel a thing. you know better though– gwen definitely has days where she's more sore than she'd like to be because of you. not like she'd ever admit. she likes the random play fights between the two of you.

though, you will admit that the amount of trips to the infirmary in search of ice packs is getting just the teeniest bit absurd. people are starting to ask questions at HQ-- which is fine. the frozen bag of peas gwen offers to you for your injuries works just as good as any ice pack ...it's been sitting in the bottom of her freezer for God Knows How Long but you don't need to know that

HOBIE BROWN headcanons:

▸ you see how this guy interacts with people???

hobie's used to friendly touches, and initiates physical contact without overthinking it. that little shoulder shake he does w/ miles makes me smile everytime i heart hobie. ALSO AAUWHEHWH LEBRON AND DWAYNE'S HANDSHAKE BEING HOBIE'S AND PAV'S?? I ADORE.

you really think something as little as a few friendly punches and hits bothers hobie "forehead-kissing-the-homies-goodnight" brown??? /lh + /hj but man platonic physical affection hobie. like. hear me on this one.

▸ he's 100% cool with it– actually initiated it before you did. nothing crazy, a light smack on your back or arm as he laughed with

eventually, while joking around with you, realized you had the same habit

you end up hitting each other quite a bit– but he's not as accidentally aggressive as gwen is. laughing with hobie won't get you hospitalized, he's cognizant enough with his strength to know how much to hold back.

▸ then again, there are times where you get carried away. hobie's quick to shake it off, not feeling the effect of the hit until later– if you notice and apologize, he'll just shake his head and shrug

"nah, nah– it's fine." he insists, chuckling a bit as he rubs the spot where you smacked him. "there's been worse."

and yes, objectively, you know that's true– but you both fight villains in your everyday life. of course there's going to be worse than just a hit too hard. he won't accept an ice pack– but will joke that you could just kiss it better instead

that earns a groan from you, smacking him again in the arm for good measure as he snickers

MILES MORALES headcanons:

▸ doesn't hate it!! not against it!!! find it surprising at first. he didn't expect a playful punch to his arm in response to his little joke, but watching as you giggled uncontrollably, hitting him lightly– he decided that he didn't mind too much

he knows you don't mean any harm, so it's cool with him! he's rolling with the punches literally every time you two are losing it

▸ if you land a smack on him that ends up being a little too hard, he'll definitely try to play it off awkwardly, rubbing it and nervously laughing when you ask if he's okay

"oh sh–" you promptly stop, your smile fading as concern floods your face. he winced slightly at your last hit and it was much to obvious to ignore. "you good, miles? i am so sorry–"

"me? yeah, yeah– it's cool!" he replies dismissively, giving you the lightest punch back. miles laughs nervously at your completely unconvinced expression.

"bro. cmon. be real."

"that? hah– nahh. barely felt it." spoilers!!! he felt it

you keep it in mind to dial it back a bit when with miles, because he barely hits back and hates admitting when it actually hurts.

you'll get an occasional "ow–" with a little chuckle, but he refuses to acknowledge that you might be a bit too rough. he jus doesn't wanna hurt feelings man :(

you're his friend who gets a little too carried away sometimes– and that's fine!!! besides, he can't let gwen and hobie have all the fun.

"you holding back on me?" he asks you, noticing your hits have gotten weaker.

"what's it to you?"

"i can handle it. 's fine!! really!" miles says. there's a beat of silence as you stare at him incredulously.

"and you didn't bruise last time?." you ask, raising an eyebrow.

"yeah."

"...say swear."

miles raises his hands, sighing. "ok, look–" HE WANTZ 2 ROUGHHOUSE W/ HIS FRIEND TOO OK (*ﾉε｀*) besides. u and gwen and hobie seem to have so much fun w/ it,,

▸ because of his stubbornness, you oblige, pulling your punches just a little less when having a little laughing fit with him.

as a result, miles develops a habit deflecting your hits while absolutely losing it. gently shoving your hands away as you smack him, both of you doubling over laughter

miles will say sumn he knows you'll find a lil too funny and just,,, *cue continuous hitting and blocking as he predicts literally Every Movement you make* he's literally learned to parry becuz of u HAJWBDKDNEN

PAVITR PRABHAKAR headcanons:

▸ the type to pretend to beat up his friends while making punching noises when he's bored

he's just lightly tapping u with his knuckles going "pow– pow pow– bam–" under his breath HANWJENDN IM SORRY I FIND THIS FUNNY. i also. do this. (｡･･｡).

and ur like "...uh. ok."

he's def not opposed to it!! when he has the energy, he's all for it!!! pavitr's playfully hitting, shoving you away, gasping for air as the two of you giggle over something that's only really funny to the two of you.

he's pretty energetic most of the time, and it manifests as you "brawl" with each other as you laugh over some stupid joke.

▸ when you hit him a little too hard, most of the time, he doesn't even notice until the aftermath manifests as a bruise or two on his arms– but even then he doesn't care.

however,,, there are occasions where he initiates it, laughing and smacking you– and when you're laughing with him, raising your hand to hit back, he'll gasp dramatically, recoil instantly and get all dramatic about it i'm projecting all the things i do onto pav i bet u cant tell /sarc

pav the minute you decide to try and get him back– bar for bar, word for word:

he's just a little guy,, a little guyy,,, nooo,,, itz also his birthday,, he's a little birthday boy– HWJWBDN SORRY THIS IS SO UNSERIOUS

this is a bit that he drags on FOREVERRR like itz the funniest thing in the world

▸ ALL of his hits are a little too hard. he does the fake beat up thing a lot but when you two are roughhousing, you're the one reminding him to chill out through stifled laughs

he'll immediately soften the blows quickly at your request, knowing it's probably best for you to remain as uninjured as possible when not doing mission. can't have your shit rocked before you even face a villain!!! his hits end up somewhere between hobie's and gwen's– an almost perfect middle (*´꒳`*)

almost.

occasionally, he'll literally just... take the hits. not like miles where he's deflecting. he's jus standing there laughing while you smack him. which is a concerning sight for anyone who isn't used to your antics!!!

this happened in hq once and peter b, who happened to be walking by, lowkey thought you were straight up attacking pav

upon hearing the two of you giggling though, he figured that he wasn't witnessing an act of violence and didn't have to step in

[mingoooossii]

Love.

Yunho x reader

Synopsis: so reader gets shit from work and stuff happens and they make up.

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, insecurities, fear of abandonment(?),self-hatred(kind of). fluff at the end and some kisses. Might be a Lil awkward since I can't do emotions. Also it's long, idk how many words but it's long. Typos maybe?

"Babe!"

The soft glow of the television flickered across the room as Yunho entered.

"Have you seen my hoodie? The grey on-"

But his question died in his throat as his gaze landed on his partner.

You sat huddled on the couch, the phone pressed tightly to your ear, brow furrowed in a picture of distress. Yunho's smile faded, concern gnawing at him.

He stepped closer, his voice soft. "Everything okay?"

You flinched at the sound of his voice, quickly ending the call. You took a deep breath, trying to mask your distress with a weak smile. "Yeah, just work stuff." you mumbled, avoiding his eyes.

Yunho wasn't convinced. He knew you better than that. Your "work stuff" rarely left you this visibly shaken. He sat beside you his hand hovering over yours, offering silent support.

"What happened?" He asked, his voice laced with concern.

You hesitated, then sighed, your shoulders slumping in defeat. "They called," you said, voice barely above a whisper. "About the project."

Yunho's stomach clenched. He remembered how much time and effort you had poured into your current project, how excited you were about it. His mind raced with possibilities, none of them pleasant.

"It's gone." you said, voice cracking. "Deleted. Apparently, a system glitch. And now I how to redo it in 3 days."

Anger sparked within Yunho. "That's ridiculous! It's not your fault, and expecting you to pull that off in that time…"

His words were cut short by a sharp look from you. "Don't." you snapped, your voice thick with unshed tears. "You wouldn't understand."

Yunho recoiled, his heart sinking. "What do you mean I wouldn't understand?" His tone softened, replaced by confusion.

Tears streamed down your face. "You're good at everything, Yunho." you whispered, voice laced with self-hatred. "You're talented, it's all natural to you. I'm not like that i..." You paused, wiping your tears away desperately.

"I'm not talented like you and... this is the one thing that I'm good at and...if I can't even do that, then what good am i?" You sobbed, wiping your face, frustrated at the non-stopping tears, breaking his heart further.

Your words hit him like a physical blow. He had never realized how you perceived him, or how it made you feel. The truth was, he admired your dedication, your resilience, the sheer amount of effort you poured into everything you did.

"That's not true..." Yunho started, a hint of desperation as he reached out to you. "You're wrong. You're much more than you think you-"

"I don't need you to appease me." You cut him off with a bitter tone, picking up your laptop. "Yunho, leave me alone." You looked away from him, reserving yourself to the office room. He watched as the door shut close with a sickening thud, resonating with his heartbeat.

Three days crawled by, each tick of the clock echoing the growing distance between them. You were a whirlwind of activity, fueled by adrenaline and exhaustion. Your eyes, once bright with passion, were now shadowed with determination, bordering on desperation. Meals were quick, silent affairs, your focus solely on the screen illuminating you.

The frustration gnawed at him, but he knew pushing wouldn't help. This was your battle, and you had to fight it your way. Instead, he chose to show his support in quieter ways.

He stocked the fridge with your favorite snacks, left a fresh mug of tea outside your door, and even attempted to fold a few stray shirts (with predictably disastrous results).

He knew deep down that you weren't shutting him out, you were shutting yourself in. All he could do was be the ground beneath your feet, a constant presence even when you couldn't see him.

'i did it...i actually did it!' Three days. After 72 excruciatingly long hours, you finally did it. You finally pushed back from your desk, your eyes stinging from exhaustion but a flicker of triumph lighting them. The project was done.

But the elation was short-lived, choked by the hollowness that echoed within you. Guilt, suffocating and heavy, settled on your chest. The memory of your cold words, the slammed doors, the silent treatment you had inflicted on him all came rushing back. Shame burned your cheeks. In your single-minded pursuit of finishing the project, you had pushed away the very person who loved and supported you the most.

With trembling legs, you walked towards the living room, your voice thick with fear and regret. "Yunho?" You called out, voice barely a whisper. Silence. You tried again, louder this time, voice laced with desperation. Still nothing.

He usually came back from the company at this time except for...today.

Then he left...you?

Panic clawed at your throat at the thought. Tears streamed down your face, carving hot tracks on your cold cheeks. You sank to your knees, the weight of your actions crushing your spirit.

'He finally had enough of your selfishness and left you..' Your mind spun, conjuring scenarios, each bleaker than the last. You sobbed into your hands, not noticing the door opening.

Yunho stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind him. The grocery shopping took longer than he thought. He hummed a low tune as he walked into the living room, freezing when he spotted you, on the floor.

Panic settled within him at the racking sobs that escaped you. Dropping the bags, he was instantly by your side, cradling you into his arms. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Startled, you whirled around expecting the worst but instead, you found his concerned eyes.

Relief washed over you, a tidal wave threatening to drown you. But before you could speak, Yunho's face crumpled with worry, holding your face gently. "Honey, What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

His concern, so genuine and unwavering, broke the dam of your emotions. You collapsed into his arms, the sobs returning with renewed intensity. All the guilt, the fear, the shame poured out in a torrent of broken words. "I thought you left me..."

"Why would I leave you?" He asked, voice gently but you could see the confusion in his eyes.

''I thought you got sick of me and left." You sobbed, your voice barely a whisper. I'm so sorry for being so selfish and i pushed you away and I-"

Yunho cupped your face, cutting you off by pressing a kiss to your lips. He wiped away your tears with his thumbs. His gaze was soft, filled with love, so much love.

"I was worried sick, Y/n. " he admitted. "But I understand. You were going through so much, and I…" He paused, searching for the right words. "I just wanted to be there for you, but I pushed too hard. I should have listened more."

He held you tighter, his heart clenching at the fear in your embrace. "You must've panicked because I was late."

He pulled back, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there. "I just went grocery shopping to stock up. I should've told you earlier, I'm sorry, love."

You looked into his eyes, searching for any hint of deceit, but all you saw was love and concern. Shame washed over you, hot and prickly. How could you have doubted him like this?

"I'm so sorry." you whispered, voice trembling. "I was awful. I shut you out, and then…my stupid thoughts…"

Yunho shook his head, cradling you close to him, his voice soft. "Don't apologize, it's not your fault. But I'm never letting you go through that again."

Yunho pulled back, gently stroking your hair, his eyes soft as he gazed at you. "But you really thought I was going to leave you? Never, you're stuck with me forever." He said, voice gentle yet firm. "You know how obsessed i am with you."

A choked laugh escaped your lips. "You're impossible." you mumbled, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

Yunho grinned, holding you close. "Maybe. But I'm your impossible, and you're mine. That'll never change."

A weak smile adorned your face. "Promise?"you whispered, voice barely a breath.

"Promise!" He chuckled, pressing another kiss to your lips. "And that's a seal! Now..."

He swept you off your feet. "Let's get you something to eat. You haven't eaten properly these days."

As he carried you to the kitchen, the tension that had coiled within you began to unwind. The weight of your insecurities and fears vanishing entirely by the warmth of his presence and the unwavering certainty of his love.

[rebuke-me]

thinking about the squip as an artificial intelligence and creativity.

painters and digital artists who take squips to be better at technical creation, but they never get it quite right. anatomy is just slightly off, eyes a little too big, blurred edges and awkward perspective.

actors who take squips for stage fright knowing all their lines and hitting all their spots but there's something mechanical about it. the way they move is a little too purposeful, they hit their marks a little too hard.

singers who take squips for pitch control, but all of their notes sound slightly off, even if they're using a completely normal voice. they always hit the right note, always project, but there's no soul, no emotion behind it.

photographers who take squips to always have the perfect photo, but their images always come out looking slightly photoshopped, too staged. candids are a thing of the past. everyone's too perfect, caught at the exact right moment, too stock photo.

writers who take squips to make wonderful stories, but their words are a little too close to someone else's, their narrative voice falling to pieces. there's no typos, no rough edges, no heart.

dancers who take squips to always be on beat, but never allow themselves to mark, who always have to full out perform, every time. who do a little too much. who can never make mistakes, sure, but can also never let themselves pull back when they need to.

fabric artists who take squips to create, but find themselves losing the ability to crochet, because the machine never learned how to do it, their stitches falling apart in their laps. they're left with yarn and crochet hooks and a feeling of disappointment.

comedians who take squips to be more successful, funnier, who tell jokes that are funny, that have the right amount of pause for laughter, who statistically should sell, but they lack the personal edge to make it properly.

artists who take squips for other things: for fame, for confidence, for love, for acceptance- finding that their creativity is fading away, entrusted to a machine that can't replicate their humanity and its flaws.

[entamesubs]

How the Fansubbing Process Works for entameSubs

The delays have brought about speculation and misinformed assumptions of how our work is done.

This post explains our entire process to put this misinformation to rest, and also informs those curious of how fansubbing works.

----------------------------------

For those unaware, each subbed episode comes with a section of credits at the very end that are specific to that particular episode. For example, EP124 was translated and timed entirely by me (entame), while EP122 was translated jointly by tessa (batsugeemu) and yona (angelthinktank), while I took a proofreading role. Each episode's credits are different, and I always make sure to credit properly based on who worked on what.

Step One: Translation

The job of the translator is to just get from point A (Japanese) to point B (English). One full run-through of the script, no stops in-between. Work is not edited, proofread or checked in any way, it is simply translated and then moved onto the next phase of the assembly line, so to speak.

Leave typos in, leave mistakes in, leave phrases you cannot translate or parse alone and move on. Awkward or literal translations are fine. The goal is to finish the whole script. A couple lines missing here and there is fine - they will be caught later. The first step is just to get it done.

Translating a full script can take anywhere from 2-6 hours, depending on the episode or any extraneous circumstances. To be clear, 2-3 hours is the absolute fastest that it can possibly happen, and it is an outlier. I can count the amount of times it has taken 2-3 hours on one hand. Those are usually reserved for our dedicated "speedsub" episodes, where we have everyone on deck to work continuously, without break. This is not a norm, nor should it be assumed so.

A normal episode will usually take around 4-6 hours working time to translate. Sometimes this is done a couple hours on one day, and another couple on a separate day. Sometimes it's done all in one sitting. It varies depending on the translator's schedule.

Step Two: Proofreading

After that, the proofreader then goes through for a second or third watch to do edits and checks. The proofreader is strictly in charge of making sure the translation itself is correct as well as fixing any missed lines from the translator. Grammar, typos, various other minor corrections are not expected to be done in full here, the main job of the proofreader is to just make sure the Japanese to English translation is complete, correct, and makes sense.

Is the subject correct? Is this the right verb to use in English? Are they talking about themselves or someone else? Is the context the original translator took correct/accurate? A second/third pair of eyes is essential to making sure everything comes out properly.

The translator may mark specific lines that stumped them or they need a second opinion on for the proofreader to pay special attention to. Maybe the translator can't think of an appropriate way to make something work, or need pun ideas.

Proofreading and translation roles are entirely switchable on request, because both proofreader and translator must know Japanese.

Step Three: Timing

At the same time, the timer begins the tedious work of timing the subs to the episode itself, making sure sentences show up at the correct place, for the right amount of time.

They ensure subs cut at scene changes, that the lines shown on screen are properly broken up if a character pauses, and are instering forced line breaks where necessary so subs don't awkwardly fill the entire length of the screen and are instead always centered.

Step Four: (not) "Final Check"

"Final Check" as I'd like to call it, is always done by me. Once proofreading and timing are both done, the sub files are sent to me.

I add in the opening and ending, I do all the fancy text effects if need be (such as scrolling text, rainbow text, gradient text, translating signs or posters shown on screen and blending them into the episode, etc - this is all under "Typesetting"), and I also do a third check of the script on a watch through to further edit any lines that may feel awkward to read on screen or I have thought of a better translation for.

The state that the subs come in pre-final check are subs that only contain the very middle of the episode itself. This means the prologue, the opening, the ending, UTS Report and preview are entirely unsubbed, alongside any signs or extraneous text on screen. Subs are not done pre-final check. There is a reason they must go through me first and that is because I am the only typesetter on the team.

To be clear, timing and typesetting are two entirely different skill sets. Getting the subs timed properly is one thing, getting the subs to look nice, flow well, and not feel awkward to read is another.

Typesetting is usually known as an "invisible" job. When it's done poorly, you notice it. If it's done well, you don't.

At this point, I also go over and double check things like character voice and make sure it's following our style guide. While this is a consideration made during step one and two as well (translating and proofreading), this is the point where things are tightened up.

Extraneous TL notes may also be added here in-episode if needed.

Step Five: Quality Checks

After everything has been bundled together and ready-to-go, it gets sent to our Quality Checker for the very last and final run-through. QC checks spelling errors, typos, grammar, weird English, missed casing, missed lines, style guide errors, etc.

The QC does not need to know Japanese (though it is a nice bonus if they do!), they only need to know English so they can check for grammar and weird phrasing. At this point, all of the translation work and check has been done, it is just making sure stuff makes sense to an English audience now.

After QC sends in their changes (or lack thereof), the timer usually goes back to fix up the final file for publishing.

Step Six: Distribution & TL Notes

Finally, the person who hits publish and uploads the episode file to all relevant sites is me, since I know how to setup, run, and seed torrents.

A lot of people may not know this, but all anime pirate sites (R.I.P.) pull their content from Nyaa's feed. If it's not on Nyaa, it won't be on a pirate site. In order to actually ensure proper distribution of the episode, it needs to be uploaded through Nyaa. Once it is on there, the pirate sites will all update of their own volition.

Translation notes, if any are necessary, are also written entirely by me, even if the episode may not have been translated by me initially. These are usually only written if I have time or if there is a specific concept/idea that I really want to make sure comes across properly.

Final Words

I hope this gives you better insight into the entameSubs process and how episodes are usually worked on/made.

A lot of our team is scattered across different timezones, with one person being 9 hours ahead, and another one being 6 hours ahead. This means things are done at different times and at the leisure of whoever is in charge of their role. If someone is busy, then there is nothing else anyone can do but wait.

It may be that after waiting for someone to finish, someone else in the chain becomes busy, and the process of waiting starts all over again. Steps are done like this so that we have appropriate checks in place. This is just how it is. None of us are paid, and all of us are doing this for fun.

Most of all, I take a lot of pride in the team's work. If something is not up to snuff, or I don't feel comfortable publishing it until we've been able to correct something that's been bothering us (whether that's a line, typesetting, or etc), it doesn't get published. These subs are not just "my" translations, but the work of the whole team.

Call it arrogance, but I'd much rather put out something we're proud of than something rushed through the wringer just for the sake of getting stuff out. You may disagree with lines or certain translations, but they are our work at the end of the day.

And it is a lot of work.

Thank you.

[lengthofropes]

okay, Oookay, a WIP! (sorry prob a lot of typos, my issue) inspired by my What if Tommy never left 118 series, basically (can't help it)

Despite Bobby’s lasagna being extra delicious today (new secret ingredient?), Tommy feels like he’s chewing on grimy sole. He knew this day would come sooner or later. It’s been over a week since Sal got transferred, and of course they need a new member for their team. But.  But. What? Sal has been a pain in the ass lately (not that he’s ever been anything less, but...), and his constant arrogance and disobedience made it only a matter of Bobby’s patience to be finally kicked out of 118. And to be completely and utterly honest, Tommy got much tired with having to deal with his best friend’s shit to the point it has become harder to even call him a friend.  But. He was his first friend here, in some way, his mentor. And even if they both were under constant pressure of keeping the mark of Gerrard’s ‘best boys’, they always had each other’s back. Always.  It’s just- Strange, not to see him here, sitting across the table, making his obscene jokes with a snarky grin face. And even if Tommy knows now, it’s better to let go of everything that fuels your worst traits, it feels like it’s the Sal’s empty chair that is somewhat a stupid joke itself. Like, if Tommy could blink – and everything would get back to how it used to be, simple and familiar. Nevertheless. No matter the ball of unaddressed feels in his chest, Tommy made a promise to himself to take it as it comes and hold on to this new and better version on himself and try his best to make their new probie’s life here if not carefree, but at least tolerable. He learned his lesson good with Howie and Hen, thanks! He chews and swallows.  He’s gonna be fine, Jesus! He has other friends here too, good friends. And, finally, a captain who knows how to be one. Job is good, his mom is fine, and that girl he met near the gym yesterday agreed to go out with him, and he has a good feeling about this, like it can actually work out this time. Life is good! No need to feel all anxious and insecured again, he’s in a good place, he’s ready for anything.   “Uh, hi. I'm Evan Buckley, new recruit.”

Tommy must’ve gotten too much into his own head with eyes on his plate, he didn’t even notice that someone came near the table. He rises his eyes.  “I was told to report to Captain Nash.” That “someone” looks the right amount shy, but at the same time like he’s trying to make the nicest first impression ever with that ear to ear smile and awkward pull on a shoulder strap of his duffle bag. “You know a Captain Nash? You?” Bobby pulls out a joke, and everyone play along, efficiently hiding their smiles. Kid looks more and more confused, before Bobby takes a pity on him and invites him to the table with one of his kindest smiles.  “Take a seat, Evan.” Evan’s smile grows wider with that. “Uh, Buck. Everyone just calls me Buck.” “Well, welcome to the 118, Buck.” Well, could’ve been worse, Tommy thinks, as kid sits himself down into Sal’s chair, glancing exited at their fabulous lunch. They could’ve easily been tossed with some asshole, but this one looks civilized. At first sight, at least. Gotta see how he will handle the job, though, but as for now, Tommy makes another mental note to himself to treat this “Buck” kid no worse than Bobby.  “Uh, that’s a sauce?” Buck asks particularly no one, just hangs the question in the air, pointing at one of the bottles on the table. So, Tommy decides to become one of the first friendly faces here. “Yeah, but I’d rec the other one -“and he points at the second bottle. “This one is spicier.” Tommy's smile is easy and polite, bit twisted in a chewing process. But what happens within next 5 seconds makes that smile freeze and food stuck in his throat. “Oh yeah? Thanks! Never too much spice, - Buck grins at him and winks. “Just what I need!” He winks. And by any means, it’s near same obscene as Sal’s innuendos.  But no one seemed to notice, and Buck already redirected his efforts into putting as much food on his plate as possible. And maybe - maybe Tommy just overthinks it?? Maybe that’s just the way this guy communicates? Just a silly little playful - Wait, no! Even if so, how the hell is it appropriate?!  They are not friends. They literally just met. They are colleagues (about to become). And Tommy is not a freaking high-school girl to be winked at like this, for fuck’s sake! Buck continues to chew and talk non-stop, smiling at everyone who’s willing to talk to him; table mood is pleasant and unbothered, and no one notices how one of Tommy’s hands involuntarily makes itself into a fist under the table. He’s not angry, in fact. Just.  He doesn’t know. He cannot explain. But one thing he’s certain of, he’s sure as hell won’t be calling that brat a “Buck”.

I have no idea where it goes so god help me 🙃

[multifandomfanficss]

A Classic Sick Fic

Hughie Campbell x sick!supe!reader

Prompt: You’re sick and Hughie forces you to let him take care of you.

Warnings: vomit, other general cold and flu symptoms, inability to breathe

A/N: I’m sick and I just want Hughie to hold me and for some reason I’m unable to figure out why there is a criminally low number of fics for Hughie. I think he’s really neat. He is so special to me. Being the change I want to see in the world or whatever. Please don’t judge any typos I’m so ill. I envisioned this sometime during season 2. Let’s pretend Annie isn’t there for a sec. (I love her tho she is my girlfriend and he is my boyfriend and we are all happy and in love in my silly little head.) Crossposted on my AO3 adriansglasses.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Hughie asked again, while you coughed for probably the millionth time.

“Yeah I’m fine.” You weren’t fine. In truth your cough and endless runny nose were driving you insane. You hated being sick. You couldn’t stand your body not feeling the way it usually does.

“You look miserable- well not to say you look bad, well you do look bad, but not in the way that- I’m gonna just stop talking before I dig myself into a bigger whole.” He shifts awkwardly.

“It’s okay, Hughie. I feel like shit.” You sigh, well as much of as sigh as your body can let out while your nose is this stuffy.

“Can I do anything to help?” He asks.

A hug. You really wanted a hug, but you didn’t want to get him sick. You also didn’t know how to ask without making it awkward. You didn’t really know what you and Hughie were. You felt like more than just friends, but you’d never talked about it. It was hard when you were on the run from Vought. If you were being honest you couldn’t really even afford to be sick right now. If you were sick, you couldn’t use your powers and Butcher wouldn’t want to keep around a useless supe. It’s already pretty useless enough that you can even get sick. Other supes are bulletproof.

“No, I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.” You fake a smile, coughing again.

“No can do. I never stop worrying about you.” He smiles, but his tone is very serious. A blush creeps up on your face, but it’s easy to mistake your cheeks heating up for a fever.

You start to cough again, but this time it doesn’t stop. You have a coughing fit that leaves you gasping for air. You reflexively reach out for Hughie’s arm. He takes your hand in his, rubbing your back with his other hand.

“It’s okay. Just breathe. Let me help you for once.” He gives your hand a light squeeze. You nod, tears coming to your eyes.

“Trash can!” You yell between coughs. Hughie acts quickly, bringing the trash can to your lap.

“Woah, hey it’s okay. I’ve got you.” He holds your hair back, continuing to rub circles on your back. “Just breathe. Take your time.”

“I’m- so- sorry!” You struggle to get out the words while your hurl into the can.

“Don’t be sorry. You can’t control it. Just let it out. I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying to help you through this. I lost count a long time ago of the amount of times you saved my ass. Let me help you. I promise you, I’ve had to deal with much grosser substances for this team than a little vomit.” His calming voice talks you through it, yapping along like this is a totally normal position to be in. Maybe it was. You didn’t know. You weren’t used to anyone caring this much.

“I’ll be right back.” He got up and quickly went to get you some water. You hated being alone, even for a minute, but you gladly took the water. It felt cool on your irritated throat.

“Drink it slowly.” He lets out a soft chuckle, seeing you start to gulp down the water. You slow down at his advice. You know if you drink it too fast you’ll get sick again.

“I’m so fucking tired.” Once you’ve recovered Hughie starts to pull you down into the bed.

“That’s okay. Just rest.” He attempts.

“I can’t. There’s too much going on.” You try to fight your fatigue. Hughie lays down pulling you into his arms. “I don’t wanna get you sick.”

“I’ve got a pretty good immune system. I’m not worried about getting sick. I know our entire world is like kinda imploding, but if you don’t rest you won’t be able to help anyone.” He tries to bargain. You also can’t deny how warm he is, or how your body just melts into his. He’s so comfortable. Laying with him is probably the calmest your brain has felt in weeks. “It’s okay to take a break, (Y/N). Even when the world is falling a part around you, if you don’t stop to take a break you’ll fall a part with it. Trust me. I learned that the hard way. Just relax. Close your eyes. I’m going to stay here and make sure things stay okay as long as we need them to for you to get better.”

You finally stop fighting it and close your eyes. You’re drifting in and out of sleep when you feel Hughie place a kiss on your forehead. Everything will be okay. It has to be.

[honeycollectswhump]

Augusnippets Day 14

toys/gifts/celebration

CW: self deprecation, fear of abandonment

Zero new messages.

Whumpee stared at their phone for what felt like the hundredth time. Still, it didn’t change the fact that Caretaker hadn’t opened their messages yet, or even went online. Their last message read “im busy today, sry” and they seemed to mean it. Even though every other time, Caretaker found time in their day to respond to Whumpee’s more and more frantic texts, today they might as well have disappeared off of the planet.

They couldn’t help but worry. What if Caretaker had grown tired of them, leaving like it was their right from the beginning? Whumpee was annoying, clingy even, practically stuck to Caretaker’s side like a parasite. 

Or horribly, frighteningly worse. What if something had happened to Caretaker? What if Whumper was really still out there and now struck, taking sweet revenge?

It was evening by now, without any response from their only friend. It wasn’t like they could just go outside, for a walk perhaps. The thought scared them too much. Instead, they paced for the dozenth time from their bedroom, over to the kitchen, rearranging decor and spices in an attempt to feel busy. 

Ping.

Whumpee lunged towards their phone like an attacking dog, nearly dropping it twice in their desperate attempt to unlock it. God, they were pathetic.

”are u home rn?” was all the message read. But it was from Caretaker! The relief was overwhelming! They still cared after all!

Their fingers couldn’t type the message fast enough, the embarrassing amount of typos betraying their desperation. Now Whumpee only had to wait for a response. They could do that. Patiently.

Suddenly, a knock on their door ripped them out of their trance of staring at the screen, waiting for a sign, any sign. Reluctantly, they put their phone in their pocket and made their way over to the door. It was rare, almost humiliatingly so, that they got any visitors. But it couldn’t be…

“Who is there?” Carefully, Whumpee put their ear to the door. 

“It’s me, Whumpee.” Came Caretaker’s voice, immediately lifting Whumpee’s spirits high up, their chest feeling light and breezy. They could hear Caretaker giggle, sounding like a wind chime. “Open the door please, I’m really struggling over here.”

Whumpee fumbled with their multiple locks as quickly as they could. This was what they had been waiting for their entire day.

Caretaker was waiting outside, an awkward grin on their face. “Happy Birthday, my darling.”

Dumbly, they could only stare, from the cake —the cake?— Caretaker was holding towards them to their expectant face. 

“I… I don’t remember my birthday…I don’t have one.” Whumpee stuttered. In the past year, they had come to terms with the things, the memories, they lost. Their birthday was just one of many.

”I know,” Caretaker replied sheepishly, “but i realized, you know, it’s been exactly a year since you escaped. And look how far you have gotten! That’s almost like a birthday, isn’t it?” They stopped, searching Whumpee’s face for any reaction. “We, we don’t have to do this of course. It can just be a cake for no reason.”

”My… my birthday…” They stared at the cake. “I could… choose my birthday?”

The thought was strange and new to them, so contrary to their feelings of having lost something irreplaceable. It had never even crossed their mind before. Their own birthday, the start of their new life so to speak. 

“… I’d like that.” They smiled and Caretaker’s face lit up instantly.

”I’m glad! Because I may have brought a bit more than just cake.” Turning around, they revealed a small package lying behind their feet. Somehow, Caretaker managed to hold the cake in one hand and pick the present up with the other, letting themselves into Whumpee’s apartment.

Still a bit dumbfounded, Whumpee followed them, watching as they arranged the cake and gift on the table. Caretaker fished out a candle and a lighter out of their pocket, decorating the cake (lemon, their favourite kind, Whumpee noticed belatedly) and then held out the present towards them. 

„Happy Birthday!“

@augusnippets

[dirtybitfic]

Company Pt 3

Contains~ walking around town , angry matt , smutt 😼( slapping ,chocking, biting, spanking, praising , degrading, overstimulation, use of names like- whore, slut, cum slut and sir)

not proofread cause honestly took me long enough to even fucking finish this shit so sorry if there is typos

I wake up feeling extra warm which confuses me since last night the air finally kicked on and I practically shivered myself to sleep. I open my eyes to see that the extra warmth I'm feeling is Matts body I'm currently pressed too . I immediately move away mostly from shock and slight fear . I turn over and look at my phone to see its currently 5 am here which is 8 am Seattle time. I groan as I get up and go pee and debate if I should try and fall back asleep or just stay awake and get ready for the day.

I walk back out of the bathroom to see matt still asleep peacefully . I decide to just try and go back to sleep for at least two more hours. I get comfortable as I wrap myself in the lush comforter . Its still pretty cold in the room and I so badly want to cuddle back into matt but I force myself not too given the obvious reasons, Sharing a bed with my boss is one thing but intentionally "cuddling" my boss is way outta line . I roll away from him and close my eyes as I starting to drift off to sleep I feel an arm snake around my waist and pull me closer . I gasp as I look over my shoulder to see a still asleep matt meaning he fully grabbed me in his sleep. I smile and allow it to happen since his body is so warm and cozy.

I must have fallen back asleep because I get woken up to matt softly shaking me . " Hey gotta get up we got things to do" he says making me groan . I roll onto my stomach burying my face into the pillow . " Really ?" he asks in an unimpressed voice at my behavior . " I don't want to get up i'm so comfortable" I say with the smallest amount of whininess in my tone. " Come on I promise once you see the town you'll be happy I made you get out of bed" he says and I look up at him standing by the side of the bed. " Fine i'll get up" I groan as I sit up and yawn and hop out of bed.

I go over to my suitcase picking out one of the kind of casual outfits we had packed and grabbed my makeup bag and made my way to the bathroom. After maybe 30 minutes I was ready and putting on my shoes. " Okay I rented a car and it should be down in the lot I had them drop it off early this morning" he says as he grabs his phone our room key and a couple other things he needed. I grabbed my small purse and there my phone and some chapstick in .

We made our way down to the parking lot and he lead me to a red alpine A110 . Nice little sports car , I'm not to mad about it but i'm just glad i'm not the one who has to drive it. We hop in though its very weird given the steering wheel is on the left side of the car instead of the right. " Isn't it weird driving on the left side and not the right?" I ask genuinely curious . " Mmm not really I mean a little but I spent a whole summer here in my younger years and got used to it pretty quickly" he answers as he starts the car and we're off to town.

I look around the whole drive at all the beautiful homes and vineyards we pass as we drive by. South France is truly beautiful. I see a sign for San Tropez and smile as I roll down the window and smell the fresh air. We make it to a road that has a perfect view of the water making me smile. It's so beautiful the water is very blue and clear unlike most beaches in America that are so polluted the water is practically brown.

" Wow is so beautiful" I say as I look over at matt smiling. " See I told you that you'd be happy I got you out of bed" he says with a sly smirk making me shake my head.

We park on the side of a road and he turns the car off turning slightly to look at me . I turn to look at him with an awkward smile on my face waiting for him to speak. "So I thought we could walk around and do some shopping and then chill on the beach for a while " he says making me smile. " That sounds amazing" I say smiling . " Great I called a couple friends I have out here who own some really nice stores and had them lay away some things I thought you'd like" he says with a smirk that makes me flush red. " Wow thats really nice of you thank you" I say smiling shyly at how sweet his gesture was.

We start walking down the street as I look around at all the beautiful buildings and people around. It's breathtaking and honestly I think if I could move here for the rest of my life I would .

“Okay here is our first stop” matt says as he pulls me into a Cartier store. I look around smiling at all of the gorgeous jewelry and sunglasses perfectly placed in gold cases. “Oh wow I love these” I say pointing to red tinted glasses . " Sir can you place these on hold while he we look around " I ask the man . He gives me a look of slight confusion and also as though he was judging me . Matt steps next to me "Veux-tu s'il te plaît emballer ces lunettes et prendre cette carte, nous allons regarder autour de toi, mais tout ce qu'elle choisit est facturé sur cette carte" he says to the man and hands him his card making me gasp. " Matt what why are you handing him your card?" I ask not wanting him to pay for anything. " You really thought I was going to let you pay for a thing ... absolutely not " he says and then swiftly walks off with a smile looking at jewelry. I sigh knowing trying to fight him on it would get us nowhere.

After picking out a ring I liked he payed and we were walking to another store. We shopped for probably around an hour before we went into a cute little boutique.

"I forgot to pack you a bathing suit so I thought we stop here and get you one then go down to the beach" matt says making me smile. "alright well ill look around real quick" I said as I went over to the wall covered in racks of different bikinis. I found a blue bikini I liked and went over to the register to pay. I manage to pay for this one without matt noticing. I walk over to him with a big smile " Ready to go?" I ask in a chirpy voice . " Yeah ... did you already check out?" he asks in a deep tone making my smile drop. " Y-yes i.." he cuts me off. "Y/n I made it very clear I didn't want you paying for a thing today ..." he says stepping closer to me slightly towering over me. " I... mean y-es but I just felt bad your spending your money on me I just wanted to buy one thing for myself" I ramble out feeling nervous. " You don't have to feel bad I wanted to treat you to a couple things but I understand how your feeling i'm sorry for getting a bit tense" he says stepping back taking a breathe. " I-its okay I appreciate it very much so thank you" I say looking down at the ground feeling a bit awkward now.

We walk out of the store and back to the car to set all of our bags in the trunk . " If you want you can change in the car really quick the windows are fully tinted " he says looking at me . " Okay " I answer with a small smile and climb into the car . I start undressing but I snag my top on my earring and it won't seem to get unhooked . I struggle around and since the top i'm wearing happened to have enough support I didn't have to wear a bra so my tits are fully out and swinging as I struggle. I groan after more struggling and slump back into the seat.

I hear a knock on the window and jump " WHAT' I yell in frustration . " You okay the cars been umm- shaking around a bit " Matt says in a slightly worried tone. " My top is fucking stuck on my earring and I cant get it off " I say . The door opens and my head snaps to look at Matt . He immediately hops in and closes it when he sees the fact i'm very exposed . " Let me help you " he says in a deep tone that makes my stomach flutter. " Fine" I groan as I itch closer to him one arm half over my head stuck there. " Sorry if this pulls your ear but I just have to-" he yanks the top towards him pulling my whole body with it . "Jesus Christ how did that help anything" I say in a pissed tone because honestly that shit hurt. " Do you want my fucking help or not stop it with the attitude" he snaps. I shut my mouth and let him do his thing. He gets my top unstuck and pulls it off . My hands immediately fly to my tits covering them even though he's fully seen them by now.

" Thank you" I say looking away in embarrassment. " No problem... need help with anything else?" he asks but I still don't look at him. "Uhhm nope I- i'm all good" I answer. " Okay well since i'm already in here i'm just gonna throw my trunks on" he says and I hear a belt unclipping. I stay turned to the window as I put the top on and then move to take my pants off . I slide them down my legs and pull them off my ankles when I hear a groan . My head snaps to look at Matt who is biting his lip he looks up to meet my eyes and my face is fully red. He was looking at my ass I think to myself . " Oh sorry " he says and turns to face the opposite way. I turn around smiling and slipping off my thong snd putting on the bathing suit bottoms. " Okay ready " I say and he turns to me . "Great lets go " he says and opens his door.

I get out and follow him down the steps to the beach . The second my feet hit the sand I smile and literally sprint to the water . I splash into the water fully submerging my body and coming up wiping the water from my face . I may be a groan as 23 year old woman but at the beach my inner child comes out . Im happiest when I'm in water especially water this clear and beautiful. I look up to see Matt smiling and shaking his head at my behavior .

" COME ON " I yell to him as I motion him to come into the water. " I think i'm gonna sit down for a minute" he says as he sets two towels down and pulls his shirt off making me gulp . He has tattoos scattered across his arm and a small happy trail leading up his lean torso . I accidentally moan but he's far enough so he doesn't hear it . I smirk and cock my head " Okay old man be boring then " I say as I spin around in the water. " Did you just... call me old and boring" he says walking closer to the water with a look of displease . " Mm yes I think I did" I say laughing a bit . He looks down sucking his teething slowly nodding making me feel like I fucked up saying that. I've slowly forgot that he's my boss on this trip and I've stopped talking to him the way I should be.

He lifts his head and makes eye contact with me , his eyes dark and narrow " You're gonna regret saying that" is all he says before he make his way into the water and towards me . Fuck I say as I slowly start backing up in panic, he swims to me quickly grabbing me by my ankle as I try to swim away . "NO no " I yell as he pulls me into him . " You might wanna take a deep breathe " he whispers to me as he picks me up and throws me into the water a little bit away from where he was standing. My body hits the water hard knocking the air out of me . I come up gasping giving him a pissing face" You mother fu-" " I don't think you really want to finish that sentence" he snaps at me . " No I think I do you mother fucker you threw me hard that hurt" I say as my eyes well up from the way my chest is stinging from the impact . " Are you ... actually gonna cry " he says with a chuckle .

I glare at him " Yeah cause it FUCKING HURT " I yell as I swim to get out . As I pass him he grabs me pulling me back to him. " Y/n come on i'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you" he says looking down at me . I roll my eyes as a tear slips down my face. " whatever boss " I snap back at him. " Where does it hurt ?" he asks with a sigh. " My chest" I say looking away from him. " I could kiss it better" he says and I cant tell if he's joking . I look at him narrowing my eyes " Haha really funny now let me go" I say trying to pull my arms from his grasp. He pulls me to him making me gasp .

His arms hook under my thighs and he picks me up . I instinctively wrap my legs around his hips . I look down at him In confusion " W-what are you d-doing" I ask as I lean away . " Kissing it better " He answers and his lips meet my chest making me gasp. It feels so good so I let it happen . He kisses sloppily all over my red chest and I cant help but whimper when his lips meet the exposed part of my left boob. " M-matt you... this is wrong" I groan as I throw my head back in pleasure. " Just let it happen" he groans into my chest as he nips softly making me whimper and accidentally grind against him. he groans when I do and his hands move to my ass making me moan . he uses his nose to push my top to the side and he wraps his lips around my nipple making me drop my head down and moan . This is so wrong so very wrong but... I cant help but grind into his now hard dick thats pressed perfectly into my pussy. " M-matt" I moan as he sucks harder and bites pulling away as his teeth graze my nipple causing a mix of pain and pleasure to course through me . " Hmm what is it" he questions into my chest and he places more wet kisses. " Y-you have to stop i..." " You what ... am I making you wet y/n" He asks he kisses up my neck to my ear. I whine as he hits my sweet spot under my ear and nips softly at the skin. " Answer my question y/n" he spits and grips my ass harder making me buck into him. " Y-yes " " Yes what?" he teases . " Yes you-your turning me on " I Moan into his ear as my head drops onto his shoulder . "So dirty ... letting your boss touch you like this... in public too" he says into my ear making me whimper into his neck as I grind against him .

" Look at me y/n" he says and I do. " Do you want this" he asks making me blush and slowly nod my head unintentionally giving him fuck me eyes. " use your words y/n I need to hear you say it" I says in a deep husky tone that has me whimpering. " I want it ... i've always wanted it" I whisper into his ear . He groans as he sets me back on my feet and places my top back in its place and drags me along behind him.

"m-matt your dragging m-me " I whine as the water keeps getting in my mouth. "your fine don't be dramatic"he groans . I cough as water goes down my throat and I gag on the salty flavor. The second we hit the sand he rushing to the towels yanking them up and throwing one over me then grabbing me and throwing me over his shoulder." Put me down " I whine and earn a harsh slap on the ass from him. " Seriously put me down Matt" I say as I smack his back. " No" he simply says making me groan and slump over like dead weight.

We reach the car and he opens the door and practically throws me into the seat buckling me then walking around to his side opening it and turning on the car and zooming off speeding the whole way back to the chateau.

" slow down Matt Jesus Christ" I say as I grip my seat as he accelerates even more. " Do not tell me what to do y/n" he grits out as he grips the steering wheel harshly. " We're going to get pulled over i'm being serious slow the fuck down" I say in a panicked tone. "Keep running that pretty fucking mouth of yours and see where it gets you" he growls making me snap my mouth shut and look out of the window.

We come to a harsh stop when we reach the gate that opens up and Matt zooms down the long driveway and parks in a spot not caring how badly he parked and turns off the car. He gets out popping the trunk in the process and grabbing all the bags from shopping and making his way to the doors as I follow him like a lost puppy . " good evening Mr. Sturniolo how was your day" the man a=who opens the door asks sweetly. " Great thank you Gino" Matt says as he rushes in and makes his way up the stairs with me rushing up after him.

Ive never seen this man in such a rush before but something about it makes me even more eager to find out what hell do to me once we get into the room.

He stops at the door and looks back at me as i'm fully out of breathe from practically running up the stairs . " Keys in my pocket open the door" he demands and I oblige since his hands are full of bags . I grab the key and unlock the door for him as he struts in and throws the bags down on the sofa . " Come on" he demands as he makes his way into the bedroom ,I follow . " I think we should take a shower get all the sand off of us hmm" he hums as he looks down at me with a look of pure lust. I nod my head and walk to the bathroom ripping off my bikini and turning the water on. " Fuck" I hear from behind me making me turn around . " w-what what's wrong" I ask thinking something was wrong. " Nothing your just so fucking perfect" he answers looking me up and down making me nervous . " I am not perfect " I say in a tone that sounds slightly challenging. " yes you are" he answers as he steps closer and slowly removes his trunks and boxers. I cant help but let my eyes wander down his exposed body and the practically pop out of my head when they reach his rock hard dick.

Its huge like really big , thick and veiny making me gulp . This is a line I should not be crossing with my boss but as of right now the only thing I can think about is how much i've wanted this exact thing to happen and all morals are out of the window as he steps closer to me . He opens the shower door and presses me by my chest into the hot water. I sigh as the water runs over my body and down my face. I watch him as he steps in front of me , his eyes contact is so intense .

He runs his hands up my body into my hair wrapping his hands into it on each side tugging making me look all the way up at him. " So fucking beautiful" he whispers making me smile and blush. He leans down as our lips meet in a heated kiss . I glide my hands up his torso to his shoulders gripping them softly as he deepens the kiss and I moan into his mouth.

He pulls away grabbing my body wash and lathering me in it , his hands feel so good all over me , just like i've always thought they would. I sigh as the water rinses the suds off of me . I grab his body wash and do the same as I watch his face that seems to show signs of calmness . He rinses off and we get out .

I grab my towel wrapping it around myself as I look up at him . He smiles at me as he wraps a hand around my throat pulling me into him . " Tell me y/n ... how many times have you thought about me touching you... kissing you- tasting you?" he whispers against my neck making me shiver. " A-alot " I stutter as he places a open mouth kiss under my jaw . " mmm what about in the office... have you thought dirty little things when you sit behind that little desk of yours" he asks making me whimper . " I... yes " I answer in a breathy tone as his lips continue kissing under my ear. " Yes what?" he asks in a low tone making me clench my thighs. " y-yes sir" I moan as his grip on my throat tightens slightly. " Atta girl " he groans as he grabs me and picks me up walking out of the bathroom and heading straight to the bed.

He throws me down making me moan and the force. " Spread your legs for me gorgeous" he commands as he kneels in front of the bed right where my body is slightly hanging off. I open my legs wide inviting him in. He groans as he looks at my dripping wet pussy thats begging for him to just touch it. " Just a perfect little pussy" he groans then attaches his mouth to my swollen clit and sucks making me moan loudly and throw my head back. " F-fuck o-oh my ..." I whine as he licks and sucks in all the right ways . " Taste so sweet" he groans into me making me buck my hips . " F-fuck Matt it feels so g-good" I whimper as my legs start to tremble . He sucks on my clit as he inserts a finger into me bringing me even more pleasure . " Ahh o-oh fuck fuck m-matt please " I whine loudly as I buck into his face making him slap my thigh with his free hand. " Stop wiggling around" he demands with hard cut eyes . " S-sorry it just oh fuck f-feels so good " I moan as he adds another finger in and sucks a bit harder making my legs tremble harder. " Fuck FUCK MATT oh fuck i'm so close" I half whine half moan as my body starts heating up with my incoming orgasm. "Come on sweetheart give it to me " he groans as he flicks his tongue and curls his fingers perfectly sending me over the edge with a yelp . My entire body shakes as he licks and sucks me through my intense orgasm. I come down but he still hasn't stopped , i'm breathing hard and shaking from the overstimulation . " M-MATT s-stop please its too much" I whimper as I try and pry his face away .

He stops as he looks up at me with a look that has me becoming even more turned on than I already am. " Y/n I need you to understand one thing before I fuck you... i'm a very dominant man and I am not gentle so if you don't think you can handle it tell me now" he says in a raspy voice making me bite my lip . " I want you to be rough, use me I don't care just ... please I need you so bad" I say as I give him a needy look which he returns with a smirk. " Yeah?" he asks in a mocking tone " Yes matt please " I whine as I grab his chain and pulling him to be over me. " If it gets to much say Rain and I'll stop okay" " Rain got it now please matt " I say as I press on his chest throwing my head back feeling impatient.

He pulls my towel off then his and throws them somewhere on the floor . " You gonna be a good girl for me " He asks as he pinches one of my hard nipples and tugs slightly making me gasp " Y-yes fuck i'll be so good" I say which makes him groan in pleasure with my answer. " Your gonna answer me as sir when I ask you a question is that clear " he says making me nod my head " Yes sir" I say in a seductive tone looking up at him innocently . He bits his lip then spits down onto his hard dick . I watch as he rubs it over his tip and long thick shaft . I gulp knowing its going to hurt , he's way bigger than any dick i've ever taken in my life which makes me slightly nervous. "You okay" he asks as he looks at the expression on my face. " Yes y-yeah i'm okay its just... you're really big" I answer as I look at him . " It's okay I know you can take it " he says back making me smile and nod.

He lines the tip to my entrance making me suck in a breathe in anticipation of the pain i'm about to be in. He slowly slides in making me whimper at the the stretch " Fuck your tight" he groans as he pushes in more making me slap a hand to his chest " ahh fuck I-it hurts" I whine as I close my eyes . " You're okay I got you " he says as he caresses my face softly . He slides in more making me whine and try and back away from him , he grabs my face holding it kind of tight . " Do not try and get away from me , I know it hurts but do not do that" he says in a demanding tone making me whimper . "Y-yes sir i'm s-sorry" I say as I look down at where we meet making me moan . There is still probably about 4 more inches to go which makes me whine . " Im gonna go all the way in okay you got it just squeeze my arm" he says and I grab onto him and the thrusts all the way in making me cry out . " Ahhh Jesus Christ " I cry out as I press my head into his chest.

" Just breathe sweetheart its okay" he soothes as his hand moves to my hair pulling so I look up at him. " You gonna be a good girl and let me move now?" he asks and I nod. " Words " He demands " Y-yes sir " I whine and at my words he starts thrusting , I'm practically panting and he moves in and out still stretching me out. " Fuck ugh so d-deep" I whine as he thrusts a bit faster and I start getting used to his size " Doing so good for me " he groans as he slips his thumb into my mouth making me moan around it. " Feels good huh" He asks smirking " M-mmhm" I moan around his finger, he pulls it out and wraps his hand around my throat as he starts ruthlessly pounding into me making me scream . " FUCK O-OH MY G-GOD" I scream as I close my eyes and arch off the bed . He pressed me down making me lay flat on my back again and he slowly slides it down to where he's bulging inside of me. " Who knew you'd be such a little slut for my cock" He says making me moan loudly . " S-so good fuck i'm so close" I whine as I feel the pressure start to build in my stomach . " Close already " he says in a mocking tone . I move my hands to his back scratching down as my body is built with pure pleasure . " Fu-fuck FUCK OH MY can I cum please please let me cum" I beg pathetically as my orgasm is on the verge of taking over. " How bad do you want it come on beg me for it" he taunts as he squeezes my neck harder. " S-DO BAD SIR FUCK SO BAD PLEASE I C-CANT FUCK" I cry out making him smile " Go ahead make a mess all over my cock" he says and I immediately tumble over the edge shaking and running my nails down his back deeply. " Aww look at you such a little whore shaking for me" he says making me roll my eyes back and scream out.

His hands grab ahold of each side of my head as my face is buried into his chest as he repositions him self and pounds into me harder and deeper than before making me scream " F-FUCK RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE" I scream and he pounds the perfect spot to make me squirt. " Hear hoe fucking wet you are for me fuck such a sweet sound" He rasps as I scream in pleasure and my juices spray out all over his dick and the bed under me. " Fuck keep fucking do that so fucking hot" he groans as he raises back up and props my legs on his shoulder relentlessly pounding into the same spot over and over. " F-fuck i'm gonna squirt again" I whimper as I feel the pressure quickly approaching. " Come on make a mess soak this fucking bed like the little slut you are" He degrades me and my juices spray out even more this time making him pull out and shove his finger into me curling them to make me shoot even more juices out. " AHH m-matt p-please t-too much I c-cant" I cry out as he just looks down at me smirking in satisfaction . " Turn around , ass up and arch that fucking back" he demands and I comply. I arch as far as I can and wait for him to reenter me.

I gasp when his hand harshly slaps my ass, then again and again till it stings and I try and move away from his hand whining. " Looks so good with my handprint on it" He groans as he slams back into me making me almost fall flat on my stomach. He grabs a hold of my hair pulling me head up off of the bed as my hands grip the sheets above my head . " Ugh fuck so d-deep" I whine out in a high pitched voice as one of my hands moves back pushing on his lower stomach as I cry out in slight pain from how hard he's pounding my cervix. He grabs it and holds it behind my back using it as leverage to go harder and faster than I thought possible. " AHH MATT MATT TO DEEP I- C-CANT TAKE IT" I scream as I try and move away. "You know what to say if you really want me to stop " he growls as he lets go of my hand and smacks my ass making me tremble and moan loudly echoing off the walls. " F-fuck ahhh I- i'm mmm" I whine as I smack his stomach repeatedly as my orgasm crashes over me , my entire body light on fire with pleasure. " Thats it keep fucking shaking " He praises as his thrust start to get sloppy . " UGH f-fuck " I groan out raspy and exhausted becoming so overstimulated I can barely hold on.

"Gonna let me breed this little pussy" he asks deeply into my ear as he leans over me going even deeper making me yelp. " Y-Yes sir fuck p-please" I whimper out as his hand comes around my throat pulling me up to meet his chest . " Fuck gonna fill you up" he groans as he bites my shoulder kinda hard. " MMM please fuck I want it so bad" I moan as I drop my head back onto his shoulder burying my face in his neck. "Beg for it let me know just how much you wanna be my good little cum slut" He growls making me moan and my pussy to pulse at his words. " Ugh I want it so bad sir fuck I--- want to b-be your cum slut" I moan as my eyes roll back as he pounds into me hard and fast . With a groan and a squeeze to my throat he fills me up and i'm breathing hard collapsing onto my stomach vision blaring momentarily.

He slowly pulls out groaning as watches his cum spill out of me as my legs are trembling . He runs his hands over my ass up my back softly messaging me making me sigh. " Did so good sweetheart" he praises making me smile. " Im e-exhausted" I stutter out as I roll over to face him. He smiles at me sweetly " I know let's clean you up then you can sleep" He says as he picks me up setting me in the large bathtub and turning on the water letting it fill up . He slides in behind me pulling me back to rest against him. I sigh as the hot water soothes my sore muscles . He runs his hands up and down my arms soothingly then down under the water to my thighs rubbing slowly washing away the mix of our cum off and very softly doing the same to my sore pussy making me whine in discomfort.

After laying in the bath for a while we get out and head to bed not even bothering to put clothes on . I turn off my light and slide into the cool covers closing my eyes as I sink into the bed exhausted. " You doing okay need anything before you fall asleep?" he asks softly as he runs his fingers through my hair. " No I just ..." I don't even finish before I turn to him and wrap my arms around his waist and cuddle into him making him chuckle softly . " Just want you to hold me " I say slightly embarrassed with how needy and pathetic I sound. " I'll hold you forever if thats what will keep you happy " He says in a tired deep voice and I cant help the smile that grow soon my face.

I kiss his chest softly before I start to drift off to sleep. " Good night Ma belle fille" He whispers before kissing me on the head and falling asleep himself.

part 4 coming sometime 🤷🏻‍♀️

love y'all MWAH 💋

[physalian]

You must hire an editor, no excuses

Heyo in case anyone thinks you can get away without hiring an actual editor for your published novel, you might have a crutch word even google won't tell you about. Like, say, 243 instances of "make" across 111k words. (e.g. "make you" "makes to" "makes him") Post editor? 93. With that said! I just sent 'Eternal Night' out to people for preview reads (if anyone on here wants to lmk) absolutely convinced I had no more typos or akward phrasing because I spent an exorbitant amount of money on an editor. Well I had time after the rush of getting this thing out to preorder, took a break, and re-read the entire manuscript with fresh eyes.

And there were still issues. Minor issues like the reuse of an uncommon adjective or verb too close in succession, or the misgendering of a side character halfway through, or some awkward phrasing from lines my editor added that did not fit my author voice.

But I had time to fix them before relase so I did.

Point being. Editors are not perfect. They are human. It remains your responsibility (if you're not with a publishing house and retain control over your manuscript) to make sure your manuscript is exactly as you want it to be. Override your editor on choices if you really want to, fiction isn't a professional research paper. The rules are more like guidelines anyway. Whatever you do, though, be consistent.

If you don't care about a polished manuscript, then no one's going to force one onto you and you can publish without, but after all the blood, sweat, and tears you've put in, do you really want to cut costs right at the end?