#the amount of times I’ve watched this episode recently should make its way into the guinness world record book

[girl4music]

I’m watching ‘Ides’ yet again. I think this episode has moved into my TOP 10. The things that happen in it happen so quick but there’s tremendous resonance.

“I declare my love for you. I also stabby stab and slashy slash a few lives but what of it? You’re all I care about. These things are mutually exclusive and I’m batshit.”

[thegreatestchange]

as soon as i finished s2 of arcane i knew i wanted to hear your takes on it. any opinions as to how they handled caitlyn’s arc, vi’s story, and the development of s2? i would love to hear anything you have to say about this season!!

also - the end of this season has me scouring Ao3 for some fics to fill the void. have you had any recent one shot or fic ideas now that the show has ended? i’ve been dying for a hurt/comfort and really soft sex type of story for cait and vi. maybe something where cait is taking care of vi after the events of 206? lord knows they could both use the comfort and vi deserves to be loved and taken care of. i know you would write that beautifully.

or if you have any recs for fics along those lines? 👀

as always, thanks for your incredible work both inside and outside of fandoms! love hearing from you! <3

Omg hiii! I appreciate that you care what I think haha!

Let me preface this by saying that the criticisms I have for the writing of s2 does not take away the love I have for this show and what it's done for animation as a medium.

Now, with that said...

S2 was a mess.

I said this on twitter, but I think the writers had a lot of ambition — too much ambition — for the amount of episodes they had to wrap this story up cohesively. This AMAZING show suffered because of corporate greed and not having enough time to flesh out character arcs and plots from s1. I think it started off promising. I was really excited to see how they would handle the Zaun/Piltover conflict, Vi's journey toward healing and forgiving herself for her past mistakes, Jinx's descent and then return as a hero, as well as Caitlyn's descent and redemption arc.

Instead we got... that.

There's one word that keeps twirling around in my head: commitment.

The writers lacked commitment (and a diverse writing room) to properly handle the Piltover/Zaun conflict. S1 had such a good starting point, whereas in S2 it's like they diverged from the path and forgot the finish line existed. Sitting Sevika at a table with her oppressors who will most likely tune her out and outvote her on everything is NOT a solution. Why not a complete overhaul of the council? Make it an even split? Instead it's the same people who never gave a fuck in the first place, and Sevika, who helped get half of the population of Zaun hooked on shimmer in the first place. Like what???

They failed to commit to Caitlyn's villain/dictator era. When episode 3 happened, I was skeptical about how they would handle it. And after watching the entire season, I had every right to feel that way. They make her so unapologetic and blasé about gassing Zaunites and letting Ambessa unlawfully arrest people. That's not my Cait from season 1. Does grief change people? Absolutely! But once it settles, you should be able to look back on what you've done and feel remorseful. Cait's lack of remorse was jarring. Her inability to apologize or outwardly own up to everything she did was OOC. You know what could've been the perfect moment for that? When Jayce gathered Piltover and Zaun in that room and she was standing right across from them. Why not have Sevika or Scar call her ass out and hold her feet to the fire? Lay out the facts of what her grief looked like to the innocent people of Zaun who had nothing to do with it? That would've been the perfect time for her to say something.

They failed to commit to Jinx and her story as a whole. At its core, this show was centered around two sisters growing up impoverished and oppressed, constantly separated, but always finding their way back to each other. Jinx is such a heartbreaking character used for trauma porn. Episode 6 fucked me up so badly but I THOUGHT it would lead to something big for her character. Like her stepping into this unwilling hero role and working with Ekko to lead Zaun into a better future like the one Ekko saw in episode 7. BUT LOL NOPE. Instead she's suicidal and self harming while her sister is fucking the oppressor in a prison cell. DA FUCK?

And lastly they failed Vi's character in every possible way. From putting on the badge in the first place to not exploring the depth of her character. She's basically a passenger in s2. Has no agency. Used as a punching bag (literally). And treated as an afterthought. I'm so pissed. There should've been a lot of conflict in act 1 between her and Cait. You mean to tell me Vi, who HATES enforcers. would willingly let her situationship gas her people? Fuck no. Absolutely not. It does not make sense, narratively speaking. Her ending did not make me hopeful. Even if Jinx is alive and moving on from Vi to "break the cycle" that does nothing for Vi's character. She is without family once again, and I fear it would lead to an unhealthy codependent relationship with Cait. Like she'll never be able to voice opposing thoughts or feelings without fear of Cait leaving her AGAIN.

As for the Caitvi relationship. This is tough. On one hand, I was happy to see a lesbian s*x scene in animation for an awarded television show. But on a heavier hand, it rings hollow after everything I've said. Much like the Piltover/Zaun story, Caitvi had a good starting point in season 1. I did have my issues with it because, as a Black woman, seeing someone oppressed get with a cop does nothing for me. But I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt because I believed the writers knew what they were doing. But I was wrong again. CaitVi is unfortunately one of the weakest points of S2. The writers did not COMMIT to their conflict. It's barely glossed over and then Caitlyn gets rewarded with s*x. And this is why I could never commit to them as a couple. At least not in canon. I liked them in s1 and the idea of what they could've been to each other in s2. And it looks like I'm going to have to find that elsewhere, unfortunately.

Overall, it all comes back to what I said in the beginning: lack of time, a diverse writing room, and corporate greed. I'm disappointed, but unfortunately not surprised. I hope the writers can learn from their mistakes moving forward.

As for fanfiction, I have actually not read any yet! So I don't have any recommendations for you. I need some for myself! I'll get back to you if I find any good ones.

Sorry for the lengthy post! I really just needed to get this all out and I feel so much better.

[w0mped]

I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently, and this feels like the proper place to say:

Outside of art style and soundtrack, there’s no reason to watch Evangelion.

It wants to be so many things and fails at every single one.

Do you want a post apocalyptic show that delves into the major ramifications of 2 previous events and a possible third??? Evangelion’s not that. Half the time it forgets that the first or second impact even happened!!! They’re in a new version of Tokyo and so much is done to make everyone forget that their world has *RED OCEANS* and *MILLIONS OF CASUALTIES*. The apocalypse is ignored. I understand that some of that is themeing, yknow what do governments and people in power hide from us, but dude at some point it gets jarring when they have a whole episode about the red oceans and then they’re never seen again. The show doesn’t even tell you its lore. Subtext and context are definitely interesting ways to deliver information. Natural world building rocks, but there’s a difference between that and what Evangelion is. Evangelion has so many conversations that just kinda loop in on themselves and don’t help explain anything. I had to look at the wiki to understand anything that’s going on.

Do you want a cool mecha anime where they fight stuff and win the day? Evangelion’s not that. We get crumbs. Absolute morsels. Tiny bits and pieces of genuinely amazing fights. Again this isn’t an art rant the arts awesome The limitations on the Eva’s usage gives a reason behind it, but there’s a severe lack of mecha in this mecha anime. I understand that mecha anime do this where the mechs are a metaphor and all that. There’s merit to sneaking people into a drama by having cool explosions and robots, but the writing can’t carry the show. When they do fight, it’s ok…definitely not worth all the talking and philosophical bs. Philosophy is fine but it needs to be actually demonstrated. And will they explain the mechs at all? Not unless you mean WE PUT YOUR MOMS SOULS IN THE MECHS????? AND THATS WHY YOU CAN PILOT THEM???? I am willing to suspend my disbelief and engage with he story but that’s insane.

Do you want a character driven drama dealing with depression, anxiety and self improvement through hardship? Evangelion’s not that. 90% of the characters have no depth, and the ones that do aren’t that complicated. Shinji’s the most compelling and his journeys probably the best in the show….but Asuka and Rei are nothing… Asuka is the must stubbornly written character. I understand that the point is to show her immaturity and differences from Shinji, but that should not come at the expense of character depth. The fact that her and Shinji go through the same experiences and she doesn’t develop at all is frustrating. Rei, on the other hand, does nothing. She makes no active choices and is in a hospital bed more than she’s in the plot. So what if she’s a CLONE OF SHINJIS MOM?????? if she has no impact of the plot. If she died in the first episode, nothing would have changed. Kaowru is his own bag of worms but at least there’s a consistency. Misato, Kaji, and Ritsuko have their moments and actually offer a unique parallel to our current trio if you fully ignore Rei and Ritsuko but whatever. Will this ever be explored? A little? There’s some backstory about them but it’s extremely shallow imo. Kaji gets a decent amount of depth bc he talks about the plot with Shinji. He makes an effort to be a character. Penpen has more distinct character traits than the majority of the cast and that’s WILD.

Do you want a show with an ending????? Evangelion’s NOT THAT. Both the End of Evangelion movie AND the original series ending and notoriously confusing. The ending of the original series was meant to evoke a sense of overcoming your fears and connecting with others. Is this demonstrated well?? No. They do a bunch of trippy stuff and have an actually really wholesome sequence where everyone is in a different more classic school anime, but forget that they have to…yknow…conclude the show in a satisfying manner. The last 2 episodes feel entirely separate from the main show. I know about the production problems but that doesn’t make up for this There’s no through line. The writers were just like “uh oh yeah this needs to end. Now it ends now it’s over done good bye” and tried do cram all the philosophy into the final 2 episodes. On the other hand…the movie is made out of spite. The entire end of Evangelion film is made to tell the audience to go fuck themselves. I’m not reading into anything that’s the creators words. It’s a kill fest that is just there for the sake of being sad. There’s no plot and no explanation of anything occurring in any way. Just “look everyone turn to orange Fanta or get shot :3”.

If you want a show with depth that cares about its viewers, watch Code Geas or Madoka Magica. Genuinely masterful in their execution and theming.

Edit: this came off as super harsh yall, my b. New to tumbr so I don’t know the etiquette. Evangelion has value in what it’s trying to portray but there are parts I felt dropped the ball. I’m glad people like it, it’s just not for me :)

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Last Twilight In Phuket and I Promised You The Moon Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I conclude my thoughts on Nadao Bangkok's trio of shows, from I Told Sunset About You, to Last Twilight in Phuket and I Promised You The Moon.]

Whew! I needed to take a quick break from the OGMMTVC slate of reviews to live life: I moved domiciles, and took myself on a therapeutic journey of rewatching the very long and intense series that is Until We Meet Again (I therapize in weird ways, fam), but anyway! Ya girl is BACK on her bullshit, and I am finally reviewing (heads-up, dear @shortpplfedup!) the utterly wonderful Last Twilight in Phuket and I Promised You the Moon, ending the Nadao Bangkok section of this project that started with I Told Sunset About You.

Just to take a quick 10,000-foot-look at these three shows together: repeating myself from my ITSAY review, we know that ITSAY, LTIP, and IPYTM are on the OGMMTVC list as THE prestige BLs of Thailand -- the BL dramas that likely cost the most money to make, and that took the most solid cinematic turn of any of the BLs on this list. And they are centered and cemented by the mindblowing performances of PP Krit and Billkin Putthipong, who were both up for the very remarkable challenge of making theater-level content in two short series and one special episode. (For my tastes? We don't see this level of acting again until Bad Buddy -- but I'm a BBS girlie and thus very biased. But anyway!)

Forgive me as I pen this review a little differently from my previous ones where I lay out an outline, because the dominant thought I have about LTIP and IPYTM was that I will forever respect Nadao Bangkok for going in totally different directions with each piece in the ITSAY framework.

I spent a great amount of time in my ITSAY review celebrating the show's very intentional conversation about place by way of Phuket, and how the history of immigration and the demographic landscape of Phuket so very deeply influenced the layers of meaning in that show (and I thank the WONDERFUL @telomeke once more for spending so much time with me talking about this!).

As we needed a bridge from Phuket to Bangkok: I just love that Boss Naruebet, the main screenwriter and director for both ITSAY and Last Twilight in Phuket, took the time to create a singular episode in LTIP about place, and centering place for the sake of our two beloved leads, Teh and Oh-aew, in order to hammer home ever more deeply what Phuket meant to them, to Boss, and what Phuket should mean to us as the viewers.

Besides the gorgeous celebration of the spaces that meant so much to Teh and Oh-aew -- of course, what we also saw in LTIP was how time can change places. How the boys couldn't get to their special beach spot anymore because the entrance was boarded up. How their tutoring school had closed.

And that theme of change -- and the ache of change -- is, of course, what takes us right to the doorstep of I Promised You The Moon.

But before I go to Bangkok to unwind on IPYTM, I have one last thought on LTIP. In my ITSAY review, I felt the need to unwind and celebrate ITSAY's homage to Phuket as a melting pot, the meeting place of so many cultures (Thai, Chinese, Malay, Peranakan), because to me: Phuket, as a singular place, represented change at home, change from within the home and external to home. Teh's tremendous emotional outburst at the incredibly chaotic decision he made to give up his university spot for Oh-aew -- that devolvement happened literally inside of his home, a traditional Chinese-Peranakan home in multicultural Phuket.

Phuket itself represented a place where Teh could change himself, because the cultural fabric of the place of Phuket changed and changes with the nature of the people that live and breathe within Phuket. That's how immigration and migration change a place -- that's how time changes a place. I posited in my ITSAY review that that was exactly what Phuket was meant to represent as a place of home for Teh and Oh-aew: that a place that was historically and inherently built on change could sustain this very modern relationship between two young men, at least one of them (Teh) raised in an otherwise very traditional and old-fashioned Peranakan culture.

As LTIP unwound (gosh, the name cards of the places they visited, listing place names in English, just made me swoon), and we saw the boys SEEING the change of THEIR place happen before their eyes, I felt that what I was seeing was such an empathic metaphor for the steps of adulthood that they were both about to take. I totally remember taking IN the place where I grew up, one last time, before I hit the road for college. I think I was too young in that moment to put the following into words, but: I knew that the place I was leaving was never going to be the same.... in large part because the way I would see that place called home would change, as well as the place itself actually changing, and getting older itself.

From those steps of change, do we go to Bangkok and to I Promised You the Moon.

The most obvious structural change that separates IPYTM from ITSAY and LTIP is the change in the main screenwriter and director: Boss Naruebet is replaced by Meen Tossaphon.

Now -- oh man. I gotta get my thoughts together on IPYTM.

I. LOVED. I PROMISED YOU THE MOON. I. LOOOOOOOVED IT.

This is likely going to be controversial! There were many parts of IPYTM that I ended up loving more than ITSAY. Lemme get into it.

If you have been a regular around this blog, you might be able to surmise why I loved IPYTM. IPYTM did not beat around any bush -- it did not ignore the bullshit of everyday life in a relationship.

My very favorite BL of all time, What Did You Eat Yesterday?, deals with two middle-aged men in a long-established relationship. We meet them in the middle of their time together. We get all their origin material well within the series.

The wonderful @bengiyo often writes, in his Stray Thoughts posts and elsewhere, how refreshing it often is to see an established queer couple managing the quirks of their relationship as it happens. We so often watch shows that center relationships that start in a series with a queer revelation. The very high majority of our shows are about the chase, a confession, a fleeting sexual moment or two, that first kiss.

I think we were so lucky to get Teh and Oh-aew in their young adulthood, in their four years in university in IPYTM, to see a full life stage -- how AMAZING is that -- complete before our eyes.

But before I go on to talk about why I LOVED IPYTM, and why I think it's important for the OGMMTVC project, I want to explain why there were many parts of IPYTM that I liked more than ITSAY.

ITSAY had explosive emotional moments. They shook me so hardcore that I had to stop multitasking while watching the episodes, and nothing usually slows me down.

@neuroticbookworm and I have spoken, as two South Asians, about the nature of the depictions of these explosive emotional moments on the part of Teh in ITSAY. I've talked before (most recently in my review of The Love of Siam) about how important it is that Western viewers understand that while the interaction that Asian directors and screenwriters have had with Western and Western queer content is important and present (Jojo Tichakorn is revealing himself on this almost weekly as Only Friends airs) -- that there is a VERY long history of Asian content featuring non-happy endings and/or open-ended endings.

Why am I talking about non-HEAs with Teh? Because @neuroticbookworm and I both posit that ITSAY could have ended very authentically -- for the story itself, and for the region from which ITSAY comes -- if Teh and Oh-aew did not get together, especially considering the absolutely torturous emotional breakdowns that Teh was having about his attraction to and love for Oh-aew.

But they DID get together, and it was a triumph for prestige Asian queer content. ITSAY may very well have been talking to the heartbreaking ending of The Love of Siam.

I compare those emotional volcanoes to IPYTM's narrative process. We don't get those emotional volcanoes. Instead, we see a much more established couple (maybe not necessarily more mature, but at least established), two years into their relationship, about to start a new chapter in their lives as much as they can be together. And I think, without those emotional volcanoes: we were able, in IPYTM, to get more into tonally quieter, but still incredibly emotional and heart-wrenching details about Teh and Oh-aew's relationship that deserved time and the spotlight to work through -- such as Teh's slow falling for Jai.

To the point that their maturity is in question: give me a series about a developing relationship, and I will give you my heart. I want to see more and more shows about dudes working on their shit in a relationship. I want to see queer dudes experiencing the highs and lows of living a mundane life together, à la What Did You Eat Yesterday?

As we saw in ITSAY: Teh has a thing about change. Change is really, really, really hard for him. He had to change his mindset about the kind of person he was falling in love with in ITSAY. He was falling in love with a fellow young man, and it sent him off the rails.

Teh continues to be chaotic as fuck in IPYTM -- and that's all happening in the context of him watching, and being with Oh-aew, as Oh changes himself over time.

And: OH!!! MY. BOY. OH-AEW. CLAP EMOJIS. FIND YOURSELF! OMG. Oh-aew's trajectory in IPYTM stole my heart. Oh FOUND HIMSELF, AND found his community. The hair color change? The wardrobe change? The glistening legs? (PP KRIT.) The tattoo? Quitting acting -- which, of course, made Teh sooooo superior-feeling -- to find a career that he LIKED, and was GOOD AT?

Oh-aew was my boy in IPYTM. He was such a LIGHT against the continued darkness that Teh lived in. And Oh-aew knew it, and my god: Oh learned a lot about self-preservation in the time they had in college together.

As I wrote about in my Theory of Love review, I am a true sucker for behavioral change stories in dramas. Oh-aew gave me tons of that, in SUCH an empathic, well-lit way. Teh also gave us a change story, with the delightful essence of the kind of fucked-up chaos that only Teh, and Billkin as an actor, can muster.

Repeating myself from my ITSAY review: Teh, for me, is a reflection of my very favorite chaos boy, Fuse from Make It Right. In the second season of Make It Right, Fuse continues to date his girlfriend, Jean, while his attraction to his same-sex lover, Tee, continues to grow.

Teh watches Oh-aew change. Teh questions why Oh-aew got the teacup tattoo. Teh sees Oh-aew hang out with Oh's cadre of queer friends. Teh sees so much of LIFE happen through Oh-aew: that Oh is indicating a permanence to their relationship vis à vis the tattoo. Teh sees that Oh is comfortable in his own skin, in his growing, strong identity as a queer man. Oh-aew, to me, is truly reflective of the internal change that can happen when one leaves home, when one leaves a place to go to another place -- a tremendous journey.

Teh...... oh, Teh. Teh is not on that same journey. He goes to a more fucked-up place. He, idiotically, falls for Jai -- literally, verbally, visually, right in front of Oh-aew -- all while Teh increasingly becomes unmoored in his relationship with Oh.

Now, let me clarify something. I LOVE CHAOS BOYS. I needed @lurkingshan to check me as I was unwinding on Teh and Teh's cheating: Shan had to yell at me, "TURTLES, TEH WAS CHEATING!!!" lol.

Because! Because I actually sympathized with Teh a bit. Teh acted like a total fucking jackass, an idiot of the highest order. But I sympathized with him.

I sympathized with him because, unlike Oh-aew, Teh came from a more old-fashioned background. Of course, he learned early in IPYTM that his mother knew about his relationship with Oh-aew. That should have given Teh comfort to live his authentic life in Bangkok, and I think it did, to some extent. But, Teh was such a brilliantly written character as to have not actually be able to shed EVERYTHING about his past life, his past identity, his past values coming from an old-fashioned culture, in fast time.

That's what happens in fantasies, and it doesn't always happen that way in real life. Not to say that IPYTM is real life -- but I think Teh's path towards change and maturity reflected a different and difficult style of realistic growth that I am glad the show did not shy away from.

I understand that there are a lot of people that either don't like, or didn't watch, IPYTM because of the cheating plot. Let me just say, as an #old -- cheating happens.

Teh felt disconnected from Oh and Oh's change journey, his growth. Teh found an outlet for his misplaced emotional yearnings in Jai. Jai took total advantage of the moment to extract a performance out of Teh. Teh was used. Teh was dumb enough to not recognize this. And he jeopardized his relationship with Oh-aew. And to Oh-aew's damn credit, Oh said -- fuck THAT, and walked.

All of that? Waving my hand in a circle and clinching my fingers, all of that? REAL SHIT. Real talk. Man, do I LOVE IPYTM for going there.

I knew -- of course I knew, the gifs are everywhere -- that Teh and Oh-aew would get together by the end of IPYTM. But to see that their relationship NEEDED to take a very healthy break, and that Teh NEEDED to be faced with very real consequences of his unthoughtful, chaotic behavior, was a demonstration of accountability of the highest order in a drama that I heartily welcomed. It was mature AF, and it established Oh's boundaries and feelings in such a gorgeous, respectful way for a young queer man to represent. God. I'm clutching my hands. It gives me the same good feelings as Pharm setting his boundaries in UWMA.

I think, if this kind of growth story bores people (?) -- I unfortunately have to say that I think this is where more and more BLs are going, on this route, on the WDYEY route, on the Love In Translation route that my friends @lurkingshan, @bengiyo, and @neuroticbookworm are telling me about right now.

And to take this route in a prestige, cinematic BL. To take the route of demonstrating growth, maturity, accountability, and responsibility in a BL of the highest quality order, means a lot to me as an #old, who is fascinated by internal change over the course of time. Which.... is also the story of Phuket, the story of Bangkok, the story of the queer community in Bangkok, the story of the continued growing strength of the LGBTQ+ community in Thailand and globally.

And to tie this all together: in IPYTM, I did not question the ending. I LOVED THE ENDING. It was a happy ending for the romantics. It was an open-ended ending for the realists like myself. Oh-aew said: I don't know if things are gonna work, homeboy. But you're my man. You will be my man. (When Oh-aew wakes up in bed and sees a vision of Teh before they got together for the last time? Oh yes, I screamed. Asian family pain, baby.)

And Teh says: deal. And almost immediately commits another crime of chaos with that Instagram post. But, as I wrote in my notes as the show ended: he was now engaging in external chaos, not internal chaos. Teh will make the commitment to WORK on his chaos WITH Oh-aew, IN the context of a relationship. No more holding it in. If Teh takes risks, he'll take Oh-aew with him, together, because that's what being in a bonded relationship is about.

I felt unsettled when ITSAY ended. I felt that Teh's emotional peaks weren't fully resolved. I was so right about this when I went through IPYTM. And IPTYM closed that for me. IPYTM gave me the very authentic emotional journey and process of change that had been hinted at in ITSAY, the journey that, I think, could NOT have ended with ONLY ITSAY. IPYTM showed me that Teh was going to continue fucking up, because I knew it would happen with where he was in ITSAY. Man. And IPYTM sewed it up convincingly.

Nadao Bangkok, I think, took a HUGE risk to demonstrate this VERY sophisticated change journey in a prestige BL. And they did it of the highest order. It was a celebration of Bangkok, of finding your communities, of finding your friends, your love, yourself, and -- my head is spinning at how WELL it was filmed, and how well the story was told. I love ITSAY, but IPYTM will be my baby. I desperately want Thailand to go to this level again, and I believe they will.

[Alright! I am indeed back on my bullshit and crushing through 55:15 Never Too Late, for its macro BL storyline featuring Khaotung Thanawat and an EarthMix cameo.

Next week, we have my review of Not Me, which I personally loved, but I will not shy away from offering some quibbles about the quality of the storytelling.

A quick note on the list below, as I've made some additions! I've added a rewatch of The Eclipse, in part to compare issues-based series between TE and Not Me. And, on the high recommendation of @lurkingshan and @bengiyo, I am retracting a vow I made to never watch another MAME show again, and am adding Wedding Plan. Shan and Ben have remarked that this show represents a 180-degree turnaround from what I think of as MAME's basis of passive and aggressive bigotry in her work. Maybe she's learned that equity sells. In any case: I'm giving this show a shot to see if the turn is indeed an honest one.

But for now, the OGMMTVC weekly slate of reviews will pause for at least a couple weeks, as I rewatch Bad Buddy. I have a few ideas for a couple of pieces, as really: Bad Buddy is the reason I'm doing this project. To learn about the history of Thai BLs, the tropes, the styles, everything -- reaching the BBS rewatch is a touch of a culmination, as I undertook this project in large part to understand what Bad Buddy was built off of. I can't wait, I CANNOT WAIT, and I have been engaging with lots of friends over the past few weeks about our mutual love and respect for BBS, and I just can't wait to put some of our thoughts into reverent words.

Here's the status of the list; this list has been jacked by Tumblr's new web editor, so for a more up-to-date version, please click here!

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) 21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) (review here) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (re-review here) 27) Lovely Writer (2021) (review here) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) (review coming) 31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) (watching) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For the Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 37) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 38) The Eclipse OGMMTVC Rewatch For the Sake of Re-Analyzing an Politics-Focused Show After Not Me 39) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 40) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 41) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 42) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults) 43) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 44) Wedding Plan (2023) (Recommended as an important trajectory in the course of MAME’s work and influence from TharnType) 45) Only Friends (2023)]

[queer-scots-geordie-dyke]

"Olja and Vlada come to take us to the airport. Belgrade is gray and asleep. We are driving in silence. I carry an envelope with our humble cash in my underpants. It is forbidden to carry more than $5,000 over the border. The Serbian government sees it as a way of depleting the country’s cash reserves. Which is truly funny in light of the constant and continuous grand theft that is being committed on a daily basis at the very top by Milošević’s thugs.

Shady characters from all over the former Yugoslavia are making huge amounts of money by simply taking loads of cash in bags and suitcases over the border and hiding them in foreign accounts. Millions, billions have been transferred in that way and in other illegal ways. And those who have profited from it are quickly becoming the new elite. From time to time someone is prosecuted, more as an attempt to show a clean and proper face to the West than from trying to eradicate criminal elements from the society. But that’s a whole other story concerning a whole other kind of people. As for us, there are no millions or billions. We have to hide our humble savings in our underpants.

On our way to the airport we have to stop at a couple of checkpoints. There are many scary elements to this prospect. First, we are carrying more that the allowed amount of money over the border (the cash mainly came from the sale of our recently acquired car). Second, Goran is subject to military duty, either in Croatia where he was born, or in Serbia where he’s been living and working. These checkpoints have been created, among other reasons, to prevent the dramatic desertion of young people who don’t want to fight in a war they don’t understand and don’t approve of.

The Yugoslav Army has been literally chasing young men in order to enlist them and send them to fight against their former buddies. We have a whole bunch of friends in Belgrade who for months have been sleeping in other people’s apartments to avoid the draft. Goran solved his problem a couple of months before when he cleared his military status in a highly dramatic episode involving a fake letter from America inviting him to a film festival in New York and a bribe to a military official, a bribe that consisted of a couple of elegant pens – yes, pens (maybe the guy was a budding writer!). But you never know: there is a huge possibility that they stop him from traveling on account of his pending military obligation. They could even send him back to Croatia where another army, the newly formed Croatian Army, would draft him with great enthusiasm: it was a known fact that Croatian Serbs were drafted first and sent to the frontline to fight the other Serbs, the Serbian Serbs, the enemy Serbs.

As a Croatian actor of Serbian ethnicity would later tell me: “In the Croatian Army I had to watch my back for a Croatian knife and my front for a Serbian bullet.”

At the first checkpoint we are stopped by two policemen with their guns at the ready. Our faces are white, our voices shaky. “Oh, Ms. Mira, hello. Nice to see you. And you, young man, where do you think you’re going?” asks the guy with the gun. His hands trembling, Goran takes the envelope from the military out of his backpack. “Here it is, officer. I’ve been invited to an important film festival in New York. Please, take a look.” The guy is reading the letter with a morose expression. He clearly isn’t happy. “At this crucial time for our nation you, young man, should be in a trench fighting for your country, not visiting film festivals abroad.” “Well, you see…” Goran begins to explain the inexplicable. The other guy takes the letter, looks at it and says: “Ok, go, whatever. Those who don’t care about the future of our people and its very survival, are free to go whereever they want to go. But, remember, the homeland doesn’t forget. And it doesn’t forgive.” (I’m taking liberties here. I don’t really know if the guy said those precise words; his face was saying it.

These same words could have been spoken at a border crossing in Croatia, with the heavily compromised notion of “homeland” expressed by a different word (“otadzbina” in Serbian, “domovina” in Croatian). We continue, relieved. I’m thinking: god, was I right in making the decision to leave. Those two patriotic policemen could not be more symbolic of what we are fleeing from.

The next check point is even scarier. They ask us about our money and we have to lie. They want to check the letter from the military again. They look at the letter for a long time, then they look at Goran with the utmost disgust, then they look at me with the usual lecherous, misogynist, patronizing “sympathy.” “Oh, Ms. Mira, so how are things in Zagreb? Not that good, ah?” I smile. Nobody says a word. Let this be over.

Finally on the plane, the first thing I do is go to the toilet and take out the envelope with the money from my underpants. I sit on the toilet and sigh deeply. It is over. We are out. I begin to laugh. And then I cry. The flight attendant knocks on the door. “Is everything OK?” “Oh, yes, everything is good. It’s really, really good,” I say and flush the toilet in order to silence the sounds of laughing and crying that my happy body is emitting uncontrollably. We are flying with KLM and have a night to spend in Amsterdam.

Could it be more perfect? We get out of the plane and the air is different. We feel we can finally breathe. We are lighter. We need a drink. We need a joint. We need a couple of drinks and a couple of joints. Long live freedom!"

- Mira Furlan, Love Me More Than Anything In the World

[bmpmp3]

I READ a lot of different manga recently and i WANNA talk about em :)

SO LIKE i ADORE stories about the entertainment industry like music actors celebrity whatever i LOVE IT so oshi no ko had been on my to-read list for like a bajillion years now BUT queen bee doing the ending song for the anime (MEPHISTO!!!! LISTEN TO IT!!!!!!!!!! ITS SO GOOOOOOD!!!! LISTEN TO EVERY QUEEN BEE ALBUM RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! the opening is good too) finally pushed me to read it (not watch it sorry... normally the anison industry has this symbiotic relationship between the songs and the shows where the show makes people get interested in the musicians and vice versa but as a person who cannot watch a single episode of a show ever (jk.....probably) I only ever check out the manga and osts HJKFJFDHKDSLS its kinda cool that the first episode is like a movie length adaptation of the first volume of the manga though from what i can tell) AND its very good!!

i did NAHT expect the reincarnation stuff (all i knew was it was a manga about an idol who has kids in secret) but theres some glimmers of interesting concepts touched on with that (kinda like half way between the modern isekai “i just am the person i was before i died just in a different body” and the 90s shoujo manga style “im mostly the new born person but there is the remnants of someone else in here”, it hasnt touched on it That Much but what they brought up is interesting, like that kid has simultaneously been alive for over 50 years and also is incredibly 15 years old hjkfdsjhfds) but it’s a showbiz mystery thriller with so much tonal whiplash OF COURSE i’d like it those are like. my favourite genres hjkfddsjklfd

so far ive been digging it. OR... well i’ve caught up and the last third has been. a little odd? i know i just said i love my tonal whiplash but it feels a little like its going really fast but also like. dropping some plot threads and character arcs that i was kind of hoping they would go back into? it’s still ongoing though, it could easily bring stuff back and turn around. im assuming this is a symptom of the weekly release schedule? 99% of the manga i read is monthly or occasionally volume at a time so im not as familiar with the structure. is the author like. okay. i know they take breaks but man. i could feel it with the arcs about the manga authors. salutes

that does remind me though. this isnt a manga ive read Recently (i first read it like a year or two ago) but recently i finally was able to collect all volumes of penguin revolution (VERY DIFFICULT FEAT for some reason all the volumes were cheap as hell except people kept listing volume 6 for like hundreds of dollars and i was like. its not worth that. i was finally able to find one for like under 15 bucks after like a year but MAN) and its interesting that like oshi no ko felt like. the slightly bloodier penguin revolution. penguin revolution with more blood and less acting magic hallucination little girls (actually what was that one little girl who showed up for a chapter....maybe they both have equal amounts LOL) JK JK they’re probably not very similar ones an award winning 2020s era seinen and the others a weekly shoujo from the mid to late 10s that was cut off short and while well rated, largely forgotten (not to me...to me its Everything) so they got different things going on  its just little blonde boys and their mother situations put me in the mind of penguin revolution...i should reread it again...

ALSO before i started that i read sweat and soap and um. first of all. that man is a little freak <3 second of all ITS REALLY GOOD its a really nice and sweet story about a couple navigating their relationship, the first chapters are a little clunky (i think the author mentioned it was a one shot that unexpectedly got picked up for a full series so thats why the first chapter is a little fast lol) THIRD OF ALL the depiction of bullying and how it can affect one later in life even as an adult was Very well done like especially how the bullies themselves may have completely moved on, thinking nothing of it even while it still consumes you, real ass shit for a manga about a little freak who sniffs <3 also just a very funny and fun manga with pretty great characters. if i ever get physical copies some of those book covers are gonna be. hard to explain

speaking of real ass shit before that i also borrowed sand chronicles from my library (<3 my local library it has so much manga for some reason!!!!) and that was ALSO 99% really really good as like a decade long coming of age character study about this girl and her trauma and how she attempts to navigate it, very realistic in a lot of ways, i mean it was heightened in classic 2000s shoujo ways but so many of the characters had me going like damn. i feel like i know these people jfkdshfds its good!!! EXCEPT. why’d they make that one guy marry his cousin. 99% good and 1% girl why. oh well, im still glad i read it, sometimes i find that something that does most things fantastically and one thing really bad has a lot of value as someone who loves media analysis LOL

OH and i havent finished this one yet, but seeing that little red bespectacled blonde twink and his 2018-ass undercut reminded me that i’d been meaning to read trigun, i watched the original anime when i was like 10 but all i remember is like. the opening theme guitars. something about plants. love and peace SO this is basically a new experience hjkFjdskdjfkds its good so far! I’ve only read like 3 chapters but i like it! i wish i could watch the new show too (i love that style of 3d animation) but as i said before. watching a show is. a monumental task. maybe someday

ANYWAY this has been BEEBEEPBEEBEEEBEEBEEP (news jingle) things i have read in the past couple months thank u and good night

[grandtourdiscussions]

Dragon Ball Episode By Episode Analysis - Introduction

Welcome to my Dragon Ball GT analysis project! I plan to document my latest rewatch of Dragon Ball GT and give as much insight as possible on anything I notice or wish to discuss.

As a preface, I would like to clarify that this is, of course, not some definitive take on the series or anything within it. This will definitely be rather opinionated and my knowledge of Dragon Ball isn’t perfect. I believe I have enough passion and knowledge to offer something worthwhile, but please mention when I get something wrong or when you disagree with a claim I make. The goal of this project is for me to gain more of an understanding of GT as a whole, from why people like it to why people hate it to whatever my opinion of it is and why it is that way. Feedback and opinions should only help me (and hopefully by extension, you).

Also, I'm new to posting to Tumblr. If I'm doing something wrong or inefficient, please say so.

Before I dive into the series proper, it would probably be best to address a couple things.

What is Dragon Ball GT?

Dragon Ball GT (short for “Grand Touring”) is Toei’s follow-up to Dragon Ball Z, airing from February 7th, 1996 (One week after the final episode of Dragon Ball Z aired) to November 19th, 1997. Across that time, 64 episodes were aired, a significantly smaller amount in comparison to Dragon Ball’s 153 episodes and Dragon Ball Z’s 291 episodes. Dragon Ball GT received a bit of a ratings drop compared to Z, but I don’t know if that affected the length of the series. 

Beyond the title itself and some designs, Dragon Ball writer Akira Toriyama was barely involved. Most of what you will see in the series comes from writers at Toei, not Toriyama. 

As for what Dragon Ball GT is about… I’d like to save that for when I get to Episode 1.

What is My Relationship with Dragon Ball as a Whole?

I haven’t been a Dragon Ball fan for very long. I was born after Dragon Ball Z aired on Toonami in the United States, so the series was very much known to me throughout my life prior to actually giving it a watch/read. I started by watching Dragon Ball in January of 2020 and continuing through Z and Super. 

This was a rather low period of my life. I had almost no self-worth or desire to live. However, my excitement and growing love for Dragon Ball was a reason to keep living through these times. This is less of Dragon Ball teaching me something so valuable that I wanted to live, and more that I found Dragon Ball so amazing that seeing it to the end was a reason to wake up in the morning and keep myself alive. I say this to make it clear that I am extremely passionate about Dragon Ball. Dragon Ball’s manga is by far my favorite book, and I always find more reasons to love it. 

In regards to Dragon Ball GT itself, it was a more forgotten series for me. As I stated above, I watched Super before watching GT. When I got around to watching it, I didn’t really care much for it. I didn’t like it but I also didn’t hate it. I’ve always viewed the show as one with great ideas which were executed poorly. Hopefully, through this analysis, I will understand why I felt this way.

Is Dragon Ball GT Canon?

Dragon Ball GT is a direct sequel to Toei’s Dragon Ball Z anime, taking place after the events of the 28th Tenkaichi Budokai. It is important to note that Dragon Ball GT specifically follows up the anime’s telling of events, as portions of the script work with elements Toei added to the series that were not present in Toriyama’s manga. Dragon Ball GT and Dragon Ball Super have no current relationship. 

I don’t think it “being canon” really matters beyond that. It’s one of the many Dragon Ball sequels, and I don’t think it has more or less importance than what it’s sitting alongside.

Why Am I Doing This?

I’m going into this mostly because of the recent announcement of Dragon Ball Daima and its immediate mixed reception among the English-speaking fandom. I personally lie in the camp that’s optimistic about the project. I think the fact that Toriyama is heavily involved and is very excited about this project gives me the impression that this should end up being a great show. As I’ve gone through page after page and post after post about this show, I’ve noticed “GT 2.0” as a common descriptor. This got me thinking a lot about my excitement for this show compared to my indifference and occasional dislike of GT. Something clearly was different about Daima, and I felt like the only way to figure this out was to go through GT again and fully understand what works, what doesn’t, and why. Thus, this project was born!

Despite this project rooting from Daima, I don’t plan to discuss Daima much in my analysis. If I’m satisfied with my work here and it’s well received by whoever happens to find it, I may tackle Daima, along with other Dragon Ball series entries and other series in general. 

_

I hope this information has given you a better idea of what I’m trying to do and what this project should look like. Thank you for checking out this page and reading what I have to say. Feedback means a lot to me, so don’t be afraid to ask a question or say something. Without further adieu, I believe it’s time to step into the Grand Tour, with Episode 1 of Dragon Ball GT!

NEXT TIME - Dragon Ball GT Episode 01 - Mysterious Dragon Balls Appear!! Goku Turns Into a Child!?

[edjectedly]

Fanon vs Canon

Alright y’all buckle in cause this is gonna be a long one. Here lately I have seen a lot of discourse over fanon and canon and frankly I am growing tired of it. I by no means think that this post will be the end all be all of this discourse, but I am hoping to at least shed some light on the importance of fanon and its impact on content, especially in regards to comics and accessibility.

TL;DR: Everything boils down to if you don’t like something there is absolutely no need to comment on it or interact with it :) Comics are hard to get access to and canon can be hard to experience. Fanon is a crucial part of fan culture. 

Recently, I have started devoting a lot of my time towards the Batman fandom, as superheroes have been something I’ve loved for a while and something just clicked when I first found Young Justice back when it was still on Netflix. I watched all the episodes and then realized afterwards I wasn’t content with the amount of content I got regarding my boy Dick Grayson, so I switched over to AO3 to find anything more. There I was introduced to the extended BatFam and that led me to reading exclusively Batman fanfiction so I could see more of these four brothers. A few years passed, my hyperfixation changed to Sanders Sides, and now I’m back neck deep in Batman. I don’t know what triggered it this time but I’m super happy to be here. Let me get to the point; I got into the Batman fandom through Young Justice fanfiction.

So why does that matter? Well, I tried to find a way to read all the comics so I’d have an understanding of canon so I could make my own content because I had just gotten out of a fandom where I was creating content regularly and I wanted to continue. I couldn’t find a way to read them, so I stuck to just reading fanfiction and finding stuff on Tumblr and slowly I stopped wanting to create things. I was too nervous that I wouldn’t abide enough by canon that I’d get roasted for what I created. The second thing I posted I even clarified that I hadn’t read the comics and that my knowledge came from fanfiction and so this was based on my canon and I still had people in my inbox and on the post telling me that I wasn’t being canon compliant. Which I wasn’t trying to be. This put the brakes on me creating again for a bit, but this time I got angry and started thinking of new ways to make things.

Still, I was seeing things about canon vs. fanon and how fanon was bad for changing characters. I decided not to care and now we have the Alternative Introduction AU I so love creating for. I thought about Sanders Sides and how that had been a big issue in the fandom, people characterizing characters differently from canon. I contributed this largely to a lack of content, the issue with Batman is that there is so much content.

Comics are weird. There are many timelines, versions, writers, etc. Canon changes writer to writer, and frankly I think that allows for a lot of different interpretations. Others, however, try to pick a set way characters should be. One of the biggest, or at least most memorable to me, was Tim Drake and his coffee addiction. Fans latched onto it, whether they saw it as funny or relatable or whatever, it became very popular. It made sense and people enjoyed it. This is great! People are engaging with the media, making it enjoyable for them, and expanding on characters in a fun way while forming connections with other members of the fandom. Then, I started to see people angry about this little thing people saw Tim Drake doing. This anger only grew when it happened to make its way into a comic. I think it was like one panel? No matter, it wasn’t big but I know people who got mad. They got mad that fanon became canon cause they didn’t agree with it.

Here’s the thing we have to think about; media convergence. Henry Jenkins researches Fan Studies and Culture and has an entire book about it. I am not gonna cite directly because that is a lot of work and honestly I am tired. But, the big idea is that fandom is ever evolving and changing across multiple platforms. No one can actually have all the knowledge in a fandom, it’s impossible. This idea of media convergence shows a shift in how we view culture in general. Media has become more participatory than in the past where most interaction came from spectation. People are seeking to make connections across different forms of media which leads to the adoption of fanon.

Where am I going with this? I have laid out a lot of pieces but some have lacked connection, so here we go. Comics can largely be inaccessible, leading to people seeking out the information in other ways as Henry Jenkins discusses, this leads to an adoption of different headcanons creating fanon. Now, how does this tie into my personal experience in creating content? I am not alone in the fear of retribution for not following the strict guides of canon. I was able to move on from it, mainly because I am full of spite and anger and ready to fight at the drop of a hat, but not everyone is comfortable doing that. How many people are we keeping from fandoms in general because of adherence to canon? I am wary of using the word gatekeeping because there is a trend of people moving towards dismissal of anything using the word, but this is what it is.

Gatekeeping is occurring in a different way than normal. In this instance the strict adherence to canon is pushing out those who cannot find a way to get ahold of comics or don’t have the time to parse through everything. I was one of those people, hell I still have issues getting a hold of comics and even though I know how to pirate them now, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I have the time to go back and read everything. In addition to having multiple iterations of one character, comics also present the unique challenge of having multiple writers per character per timeline. I know in one of the only comics I’ve read that was released recently, Dick is twelve when Bruce gets him and that his parents are shot instead of falling. Batman kidnaps him and purposefully antagonizes the Justice League, which he isn’t a part of. From fanfiction, I know that Dick was eight in a lot of iterations, that his parents fell because the lines to their trapeze had acid on them, that Batman is a founding member of the Justice League and among other differences.

What does this mean? Canon isn’t clear cut and can be confusing. Strict adherence to this idea of what is right and wrong leads to the lack of participation in fandom spaces, and can even oust people who would otherwise enjoy this space. Fanon is fun, hurts no one, and provides spaces for creative liberty. If you don’t like how people are characterizing your favorite character, simply don’t read it. (This is different from people attacking characters, which if anyone wants that essay I’ll write it but that isn’t what I’m here for today.) Why are you so annoyed at people enjoying headcanons? If it has become fanon, that means it is widely liked, why do you feel like you have the authority to dictate how characters are? Besides, this is fandom/fanfiction/fan interactions, they aren’t canon. This is fans having fun and should be regarded that way. Shitting on other people's interpretations can and has stopped people from contributing their own fan content and limits the amount of growth a fandom can experience. Basically, it boils down to if you don’t like something there is absolutely no need to comment on it or interact with it :)

I could go on with the idea of fan service, but once again I am tired. If anyone wants that essay let me know lmao and I’ll work on it.

[panharmonium]

the other thing that i keep thinking about, especially now that i’ve been knee-deep in conversation about kakashi’s father for the last couple days, is the amount of politically/socially-charged context kakashi must be constantly navigating as a leaf shinobi, even though we don’t get to see much of it.  

the transformation of the hidden leaf village is obviously still a work in progress, and society never changes overnight.  we’ve heard at various points in shippuden about the still-present divide between hardliners like danzo and the (somewhat) more moderate senju line, and it’s clear that there are still plenty of reactionary/conservative forces at work in the shinobi world, which means there are absolutely still segments of the population who would view the kind of challenge that kakashi and his students pose to traditional shinobi values as a threat.  and back when kakashi first chose to reaffirm his father’s principles, i’m sure it was much worse - the way minato tells it, the entire village and the land of fire turned on sakumo, and it’s not like all those people just disappeared when kakashi finally allowed himself to recognize that all of them were doing something wrong.  they were still there.  they were his neighbors.  they were his colleagues.  he had to live with them.  he had to work with them - he had to work FOR them, even.  to this day, he still does.

like.  i am FASCINATED by the complexities of this situation, even though we barely see any of it.  just...thinking about thirteen year-old kakashi being a member of the Jonin Assembly alongside all of these grown adults who persecuted his father until the “great man who everyone looked up to” couldn’t survive it any longer.  thinking about teenage kakashi lost and “waiting to die” in the anbu black ops, but still breaking every rule to rescue little tenzo from a hardline conservative who tried to have kakashi assassinated.  thinking about adult kakashi, still a member of that same Jonin Assembly, still working alongside people he can clearly remember harassing and attacking his father for saving their lives, being asked to serve as a clandestine hokage under danzo’s nose, because foreign nations trust kakashi where they don’t trust the actual nominee, and then being nominated for real when danzo turns up dead (and having his nomination approved, i might add, by the land of fire, whose government officially blamed kakashi’s father for the damage that resulted from that abandoned mission years before).

we only get hints about the lingering controversy surrounding kakashi and his family via danzo and, occasionally, the village elders, but like.  kakashi occupies such a complex place in the hidden leaf village, because he’s become incredibly respected and renowned by many (if not most) of its residents, but he also spends every day of his life moving within a community where many (if not most) of the older people around him participated in a campaign of vicious harassment against his father, one that ultimately led to his death.  some of them may have had changes of heart after sakumo’s suicide - that seems like the kind of thing that might have shocked some people into reevaluating their positions, particularly given how respected sakumo was prior to that time - and some of them probably died later in the war, but we know there’s still a conservative faction active in the hidden leaf village, and some of those people are always going to be who they are.  and even the people who aren’t - even the ones who regret how they acted - it’s still so complicated!  how do you continue to live and work in that environment?  how do you navigate a history of being harmed in that way, when you still have to collaborate with and/or serve the same people who did the harming, some of whom likely view you with the exact same disdain they had for your father?

kakashi manages it, somehow, though i’ll bet he has complicated feelings about it, even if he keeps them to himself.  and that’s yet another reason why (if i can just take these thoughts on a slight detour to the present) i think kakashi’s relationship with sasuke is so vitally important, especially moving forward.  sasuke’s family was wronged by the village too, in horrific, unforgivable ways - the shinobi system swallowed itachi whole and sacrificed the entire uchiha clan on the altar of a mission, in exactly the kind of evil, inhuman decision-making process that sakumo and obito and kakashi said could never be justified.  the uchiha were victims of the same shinobi system that drove kakashi’s father to his death - the one that said “everything is acceptable as long as the task at hand is accomplished.  people are disposable in service to a mission.”  both sasuke and kakashi’s families fell to a cultural context that refused to acknowledge that it is never okay to sacrifice your comrades for a mission, a cultural context that embraced this belief to the point where even literal genocide became excusable.

if sasuke is ever going to really and truly Come Home, he’s going to need to learn how to navigate this situation.  not to excuse the wrong that was done, and certainly not to give up on getting justice for himself and his clan, but also to figure out, in conjunction with these important tasks, how to continue existing in an environment where so much officially-sanctioned harm was done to his person, and where so many people around him have at least a little bit of history of being suspicious of or uncharitable towards the uchiha clan, even though they obviously didn’t know about the impending coup or danzo’s extermination order.  

it’s an incredibly complicated situation, and even if kakashi doesn’t have all the answers, he can at least understand what it feels like to be in that kind of position.  he’s been navigating something like this for many, many years.  he’s the precedent, someone who can help sasuke wrestle with the perhaps unanswerable questions of how am i supposed to dedicate myself to a place that wronged me like this?  why should i protect people who hurt me so badly?  is there even a way for me to move forward here, if i can’t forgive the ones who took my family away from me?  can this actually be my home again, when i know what it did to my people?

kakashi has obviously managed to come up with answers to these questions that enable him to stay integrated in his community and keep building a future he believes in, though I doubt any of his answers are simple, and i’m sure there are some things that he’s just had to accept will never be fully settled in his heart.  it’s like what he says to obito in an episode i watched recently: “i don’t know anything for sure, either...i’ve thought that this world is hell, too...but...”  it’s the but that matters.  even in the face of confusion and complexity, kakashi has found a way to keep moving.  he’s learned to co-exist with the uncertainty and discomfort surrounding him, and to make his own meaning out of this life, regardless of how complicated his internal relationship with the village might be.  he’s found a way to keep his eyes trained on the light, whatever that light might look like for him, and even if said light is only, as gaara says, “the faintest glimmer.”  he has so much to teach someone like sasuke, who up until recently was responding to that same plea of gaara’s with a fatalistic “i shut my eyes a long time ago.  the things i seek now lie only in the darkness.” 

anyway.  i am just having Many Thoughts currently about the intricacies of the political and social context that kakashi is always navigating, even though he never says a word about it.  and i’m curious whether this family history will ever come up again in the last fifth of this show.  if i were going on instinct alone, i’d suspect that we weren’t quite done with sakumo yet - i feel like we barely even started with him, to be honest (and also - whatever happened to kakashi’s mother???) - but i should know better at this point than to try and predict what this show is going to do, so i’ll just wait and see.

[nat-20s]

Part 5 of Wonderful! Au. *boyband voice* banter’s back alright!

Also on AO3

~*~

Jon: Hello everyone, and welcome back to our regular format. If my husband being horribly soppy-

Martin:-hey!-

Jon: -turned you off the how, this should be a refreshing return to formula, though I can’t guarantee there won’t be further horrible soppiness-

Martin, performatively under his breath: -most people thought it was charming-

Jon: -as that tends to happen when one is recording with the love of their life. If last week’s episode is the only one that you like, too bad, I’m back in full form, and should be at least through the rest of the season.

Martin: This show doesn’t have seasons? Due to the whole lack of a narrative thing?

Jon: I was referring to spring.

Martin: Oh, right.

[A beat passes.]

Martin, flatly: Oh. Great goof hon.

Jon, smug: Thank you.

Jon, sincere: Also, before we get properly started, I did want to actually thank everyone who sent well wishes.

M artin: Yes! We got positively inundated with lovely messages, it definitely brightened both of our days. I would even say it was wonderful.

[Jon groans.]

Jon: I am..not proud of the energy we’ve created for this episode so far, and we haven’t even hit the small wonders. Speaking of, do you have a small wonder this week?

Martin: Mine’s bad action movies.

Jon: Really? I had no idea you even liked them, let alone consider them wonderful.

Martin: Okay, so, saying I like them is a bit of a misnomer? It’s more that I like what they can do more than the movies themselves?

Jon: Elaborate?

Martin: It probably comes as a surprise to no one that I’ve tried my hand at a fair amount of mindfulness and mediation techniques. I’ve found poetry and journaling have been helpful for actually processing life events and whatnot, but when it comes to giving your brain a hard wipe and reset, nothing is half as quick and effective as a shitty shoot-em-up. Somethings about 2 hours of cartoonish, pg-13 violence held together with the absolute loosest of plots brings me to a state of mental blankness that would make a monk jealous.

Jon: How have I never witnessed you doing this? When are you sneaking off to go see Micheal Tarantino or who ever films?

M artin: That’s definitely not the right name.

Jon: Martin, dear, I don’t care. And you’re dodging the question.

Martin, fond: I’m not dodging anything. Since apparently we’re getting into it, you haven’t caught me cavorting with a movie involving more explosions than character development lately because I haven’t been. Haven’t needed it, in recent years. Turns out when you’re not crushingly lonely and working a literal nightmare of job, there’s less of a drive to try and escape your own thoughts. Shocker, I know. Still, to anyone out there that feels like their brain is on fire, go try watching a fast and furious. Any of ‘em, it doesn’t matter. Or even better, Chronicles of Riddick. I can’t remember a single goddamn detail of that movie, which makes it perfect for what I’m talking about.

Jon: I have the strong feeling that th is is a “mileage may vary” scenario.

Martin: Well, yeah, that’s this whole podcast. Plus, I imagine that movies like this would cause more stress to someone who cares about, say, world-building or rules consistency.

Jon: I wonder who you could possibly be referring to.

Martin: It’s a purely hypothetical person, love, don’t worry about it. Any small wonders?

Jon: Yes! Particularly relevant to the last week, my small wonder is stripping the sheets from your bed when it’s been too long between washes.

Martin: How very specific. M ost people would just say ‘clean sheets’.

Jon: Well, for one, I’m fairly certain that we’ve already covered clean sheets-

Martin: Shit, have we? Thank god other people keep track of this, otherwise this show would be unbearably repetitive.

Jon: Christ, yes. I typically check the website a good three times while prepping, and every about one out of those three times I find I’m trying to do an topic we did 30 episodes again. Anyway, um, it’s just nice, I think. When you’ve been too busy or sick or away for awhile, tossing the sheets in the wash makes a room instantly seem nicer. Of all the chores out there, this one, at least for me, has the highest reward to effort ratio.

Martin: Hard agree. Especially when the y have that slight funk of having been around to long, getting rid of that is such a relief. Speaking of, we need to change our sheets soon.

Jon: We can do it after the episode. Who goes first this week?

Martin: Considering last week was only me talking, I’m gonna say it’s you.

Jon: Alright, then. My first thing this week is Martin K. Blackwood.

Martin: Absolutely not!

Jon: Oh, you can do a whole episode on me, but I can’t do one little segment on my husband, whom I love very dearly?

Martin: Not while I’m sat here, no!

Jon: So you’re saying you don’t want me to tell the internet that your resolve to be kind even in the face of indescribable cruelty is one of the mot breathtaking things I’ve ever witnessed, or how I find it incredibly endearing when you get so emotional that your voice comes out as a squeak, or even that, on a more base level, you’re very physically attractive, and I could lose entire days thinking about your arms alone?

Martin, audibly blushing, voice the aforementioned squeak: Oh my god, Jon!

Jon, laughing: Then it’s probably for the best that my actual first thing is best friends.

Martin, peaking the audio levels: Oh you absolute bastard! Do you enjoy this? Do you get some sort of perverse sense of entertainment from riling me up?

Jon: Oh, don’t you start. As if you’re not as bad as I am. Maybe even worse.

Martin: That’s not…

Jon: Yes?

Martin: Okay. Maybe it’s slightly true. Really, what is romance for if not flustering your partner with compliments?

Jon, teasing: I certainly can’t think of anything.

Martin: Hush, you.

Jon: No, I don’t think I will.

Martin: Fine. I suppose you can tell our delightful audience about the power of friendship or whatever.

Jon: I would’ve assumed more enthusiasm, considering this segment is still, indirectly, about you.

Martin: In what way?

Jon: In the way that, to the shock of all, you’re my best friend.

Martin, pleased: Oh, is that what I am?

Jon, exasperated: Yes, dearest husband, I wouldn’t have married you otherwise. Though, upon reflection, I knew you were my best friend before I knew I held romantic feelings for you.

Martin: When was that?

Jon, letting out a breath that vibrates his lips: God it was...2016? I think it might’ve literally been the day after you told me about your CV.

Martin: That early? Huh. I wonder if that’s what people were picking up when they said they we were close.

Jon: What people?

Martin: I don’t know specifically, that’s just what Daisy told me.

Jon: Daisy? When the hell-?

Martin: It...was when she was interrogating me? And, because sometimes I have to be a parody of myself, pretty much my only take away from that interrogation was “people think me and Jon are close”.

Jon: Well then. It’s not like they were wrong.

Martin, smug: No, no they weren’t.

Martin, sincere: And you’re my best friend, too.

Jon: I was certainly hoping that you’re in this relationship for more than my good looks and incredible fortune, both in the monetary and luck sense.

Martin: You say that as if you aren’t good looking, which we all know is patently untrue.

Jon: You’re biased. You’d say I was good looking if I were nothing more than some primordial ooze with thoughts about its station.

Martin: I’m being completely objective. If you were primordial ooze with thoughts above its station, you’d be the cutest ooze of them all. That’s just scientific fact.

Jon: I’m starting to think we might be insufferable.

Martin: Starting to? Might be?

Jon:…

[Jon clears his throat]

Jon: What I find wonderful about the concept of best friends is, to me, they’re the closest thing real life has to soulmates. I don’t personally believe that there’s some..grand mystic force that drives people to be tied together in the manner that narrative typical soulmates are, and if there was I don’t think it would necessarily be the kind of emotional, heartfelt bond one would hope for, but I do believe that there’s individuals that get to know one another, and because of that knowledge, they chose to stick with one another. It doesn’t have to be a romantic, which is why I say best friend rather than specifically ‘spouse’, but I would argue that the basis of a strong romance like you and I have, is very much rooted in that connection. A true best friendship is an equal partnership, and there’s a sense of..matched sensibilities and understanding that can be utterly incandescent when it happens.

I also think that having one or more best friends makes living life on a day to day basis both better and just flat easier. The dark times aren’t as dark, and the bright times shine even more. I know from my own personal experience there are events that I..that I don’t know how I would’ve made it through without you. Hell, last week my..recovery period would’ve taken much longer if you hadn’t been there.

It’s an amazing thing to have someone to share things with, both triumphs and burdens. Um, also, according to Dictionary.com, the term best friends in English has been around since the 1200s. Something about that delights me, like, yes, we’ve had this casual way of referring to a Favorite Person for roughly 800 years. That makes it a hold-out from early Middle English. I dunno, it’s one of those things that make me feel overall very charmed by humanity.

Martin, audibly smiling: No, yeah, hard agree.

Jon: What’s that look for?

Martin: Nothing. Just. I love you a whole lot, you know that?

Jon, voice soft: I may have heard you say that once or twice. Per hour.

Martin: Only that often? I really need to be more diligent about that.

[There’s a bet of silence, presumably where they’re making doe eyes at each other.]

Jon: What’s your first thing?

Martin: Oh, um, right. Rats!

Jon: The expression or the animal?

Martin: Jon, have you ever once heard me say “rats” as an expression? Obviously I’m referring to the animal.

Jon: Ah. Should’ve known, considering that what, a third?, of all your segments have been on animals.

Martin: Yeah? And? You got a problem with critters? With creatures? With lil guys?

Jon, laughing: No, no, it’s very sweet. I’m just surprised you never became a vet.

Martin: Oh believe me, I wanted to. But then I learned that it was not, in fact, a job composed entirely of getting paid to play with other people’s pets.

Jon: You had that job, though, didn’t you? I thought I remembered you mentioning a month long stint at a doggie day care.

Martin, sighing dreamily: Best job I ever had. Too bad that place was shut down after it was revealed to be a money laundering front.

Jon: Good lord.

Jon: Martin did you...did you know it was a money laundering front at the time?

Martin:

Martin: Would it make you feel better if I said no?

Jon: Martin!

Martin: I figured it out like a week in, but, like, who cares? The pay was decent and the floor was super easy to clean, which is very much a plus for even a front of a doggie day care.

Jon: That’s...rather a lot. How about instead of getting into that any further, you tell me about rodents.

Martin: I would love to. But first, we have a shoutout!

Jon: Ooo, a shoutout. Does it specify who should read?

Martin: Let me check. It...does...not…..

...

Jon: Martin?

[A beat.]

Martin: Right! Sorry, um. This week’s shoutout is from Tim, to Danny. It says, “Danny! My favorite person who shares genetic material with me! I wanted to say thank you for your podcast obsession from 4 months ago, and specifically for telling me about these marrieds. They’ve gotten me through many a dull hour at the publishing house. Also, with this shoutout, I’ve officially gotten ahead on the Superior [Last Name Redacted] Brother scoreboard, so suck it. Love you lots, and looking forward to your visit next month, Tim.”

Jon: Oh.

Jon: Um. That’s very..sweet? I think? Mostly?

Martin: Yeah, I’d say so. Uh. We have to take a quick break because, uh, someone is..at our front door! Be back with you all in, from your side of things, just a moment.

[lilover131]

Syaoran and Kaito Analysis

So I’ve mentioned recently in a recent fanart and in my analysis of chapter 55, but I have noticed quite a few similarities between Syaoran and Kaito, and upon some observations, I have some theories, particularly in regards to how Kaito views Syaoran. I decided to delve into that a bit, so see under the cut for more! Warning: It’s long. I wrote a lot. >.<

 I have a lot to cover, so I thought it might be best to outline in the most simple way possible some things we already know about Kaito.

 ·         He was born gifted with incredible magic. His parentage is unknown and he was “alone for as long as he could remember”.

·         It’s unclear where Kaito originated from, but it seems he spent a majority of his life in England.

·         He has moon based magic and has a wide variety of talents, but specializes in time magic. It’s unclear if he already had a skill with time magic or if this was obtained after he met Momo. It seems implied that he made a magical contract with her and maybe gained his time abilities from this. But we do know he has the ability to fly, to locate objects, teleport, to talk to animals, and to make something vanish in a mere moment.  

·         He is also talented in housekeeping skills, such as sewing, cooking, etc.

·         He used to be very cold hearted and preferred spending time alone. Kaito changed considerably in personality at some point in his life. It is uncertain exactly what caused this change, but it seems likely that Akiho’s mother was the catalyst for this.

·         He is part of a very powerful group of magicians called as we know it ‘The Association’ and is revered as one of its most powerful with the title ‘D’. He recently betrayed them and left, taking Akiho with him.

·         He protects and seems to care for Akiho

·         He is preparing for an event labeled as “that time” and needs Sakura to create a specific card.

·         He is putting himself in extreme physical danger for his goals, seemingly for Akiho’s sake.

·         He has been noted as always smiling to ‘hide his pain’.

 So when I look at all of these facts about Kaito, I noticed something interesting. Syaoran too could be described by almost all of these things. You might think “Wait a minute Chrissy! Kaito and Syaoran are nothing alike!”, but please hear me out.

Syaoran too was born gifted with incredible magic. He also draws his power from the moon (a connection that has already been pointed out by CLAMP) and has a knack for household skills as well, being very independent from a young age. Like Kaito, he was cold hearted in his earlier years, preferred to be alone (according to Meiling in the original 90’s anime in episode 43), and had a drastic change in personality later on, particularly after meeting Sakura. Syaoran is part of a very powerful group of magicians as well, the Li clan, and is one of the strongest within it and destined to be the next leader. Similarly, Syaoran too is preparing for some kind of event, a future seen by his mother, and is doing everything to prevent this, even if it causes him physical harm (as we’ve seen with him struggling to conjure the Sakura cards). In order to keep Sakura in the dark as to not worry her, he has been using a smile to ‘hide his pain’.

Now you may be wondering “Okay, so they have a few things in common, but they are still completely different!”. And you would be right. They are two completely different people after all, but try to think of them as two sides of the same coin. This beckons another question: How did two people who are so similar turn out so differently?

This is really where their differences in personality shine through, but part of it I believe is due to their backgrounds as well. For example, Kaito was picked up by the Association at a young age due to his skills with magic and was taken in to “use that magical power to accomplish their own tasks”. Based on their record of not having a great reputation, according to Eriol, and their treatment of Akiho by assisting her Clan in turning her into a magical device, it seems likely that Kaito was not treated kindly by anyone in the Association. In fact, he was probably left alone nearly all of the time unless his strengths were needed, and took care of himself in the remainder of that time. He was surrounded by people but still completely alone, and he preferred to be this way. This cold background of his really prevented him from being able to open up his heart to anyone. But he does seem to be much different around Akiho.

Syaoran, on the other hand, was surrounded by loving and caring family members. Although he preferred to be alone in his earlier years, he wasn’t actually alone at all. His mother was protective of him (like cutting his hair until he was strong enough to protect himself from things like scissors near his neck), and his sisters adored him and undoubtedly showered him with love at every opportunity. But even with that love from them, he was still somewhat cold hearted (though not as much as Kaito) until he met Sakura.

Their backgrounds do differ from each other, but I think the biggest difference in them of all is how they handle their feelings. When Syaoran first started to realize his feelings for Sakura, he struggled quite a bit and was in a great amount of denial, even physically running away at times when confronted with them. It was when he finally came to terms with his heart and confessed his feelings to Sakura that he underwent a great change and became the Syaoran we know today.

So what about Kaito?

Well, Kaito I believe is in that same stage of denial where he is refusing to come to terms with his feelings, whatever those may be. It’s clear that he cares about Akiho, but when she or Momo try to have a serious discussion with him or get him to talk about those feelings, he goes out of his way to change the subject (or once with Momo, actually fled at the first opportunity, which is just like Syaoran used to do!). It is something he is clearly uncomfortable with, and I think that is because it is unfamiliar territory for him. He is used to not feeling anything at all, so having to actually think about his feelings and reasons for doing things is unbearably frightening. He can handle any magical opponent any day (except Sakura of course), but being open and honest about his feelings? That’s another battle entirely that he doesn’t know how to handle without his magic to use as a crutch.

Momo mentioned in chapter 39 how Kaito had made a great deal of changes, all so that Akiho could live comfortably and pleaded internally “peer deep inside your heart. And don’t avert your eyes”. This was said again in chapter 51 when she stated “I implore you Yuna D. Kaito. Listen…to your heart”.

In the very next chapter, it is none other than Syaoran who has a discussion with Sakura about how his mother had told him “If you possess great magic power…when you feel pounding and stirring in your chest…you shouldn’t ignore it. You need to listen to your intuition. I think that goes for everyone, magic or no magic. I don’t think anyone should turn a blind eye to their own heart”. We also know that in that same conversation with his mother, thanks to the mini chapter provided with the special edition of volume 9, that Yelan said to him then “If there’s something you want to accomplish, then training with your spells is surely important, but...more than anything else, you have to face your heart”. She went on to tell him how important it was to listen to his heart and that “If you lie to yourself, you will sadden the person who loves you so dearly”. 

And that, my friends, is the major reason for Syaoran and Kaito being so different despite their many similarities. One listens to his heart while the other adamantly turns away from it. This leads me to my next topic (thank you for anyone who has read this long into it. I appreciate it!), and that is in regards to Kaito’s feelings about Syaoran.

I have noticed that Kaito in general tends to act quite differently in regards to Syaoran than he does anyone else. It starts at the very first time they met, when they made their introductions. Despite working so diligently to keep himself hidden from Akiho and Sakura, he did the complete opposite with Syaoran. He had to have known that being able to sense his magic and being given his name and title, that Syaoran would go and research who he was. He wanted Syaoran in particular to know who he was, which I believe is also why he allowed him to speak with Eriol initially. I say allowed, because we know he clearly had the potential to cut off communications at any point in time, and he only stepped in to shut this down when Eriol started talking to the others (Kero and Yue). He clearly wanted to control what information people knew about him, and Eriol crossed a line. He also put spells on Syaoran that would not allow him to communicate with others about him, so again showing he wanted him to know about him, but not to be able to tell anyone else about him, especially Sakura.

Another occasion I found intriguing was chapter 34 in the scene with the pool. Kaito stopped time, but for some reason, allowed Syaoran to move freely as well. Why is this? He could have easily frozen Syaoran too, but he made a conscious decision to allow Syaoran to move.

Then we come to perhaps the most telling scene so far, which is the battle he and Syaoran had in chapter 41 and 42. In a moment where he could have easily stopped time and rewound so that Syaoran never approached him, he instead decided to have a full discussion with him and even go as far as to engage in battle with him in stopped time. In this ‘discussion’, he stated several facts that he knew about Syaoran, who was pointedly not responding to them and seemed solely focused on Sakura. Some of the details about him were probably common knowledge to the magical world, but some of them seemed oddly personal, such as him being a ‘diligent student’, as if to show he had been watching him for quite some time.

Something about the interaction was different than others. It was as if he was observing Syaoran in that moment to see how he would react to hearing certain things. He then mentioned after seeing Syaoran use the Sakura cards how rewriting a contract once written takes a toll on even the strongest magician and he said “Is this all…for Sakura too?”. I think what he was trying to say here is that he recognizes the efforts he’s making for Sakura and may even feel a connection to him because of his own efforts for his own wish.

In chapter 42, continuing on with this conversation, Kaito seemed ready to turn back time the moment he realized they were no longer alone and that Sakura was able to move, but he still had more to say. Syaoran reacted to Sakura calling out for him, and it was at this moment that Kaito said “You certainly are honest, aren’t you? One look at your face, and I know exactly what you’re thinking” (even Eriol made several comments about Syaoran’s honesty in the original series). Once again, he’s showing here that he’s observing Syaoran, but why? For what reason does he bring this up? I think he says this because it is something so foreign to him and fascinates him. Kaito is so used to hiding his feelings and being unable to express them, but Syaoran is the complete opposite in the fact that he can so easily show his feelings and it is not his nature to conceal them. Kaito followed this by bringing up that Syaoran had suppressed that honesty when he came to Japan, which we know was through his fake smiles (something he is all too familiar with). Yue also said to Syaoran in chapter 27 that he had been hiding behind a smile and ordinarily was much more unrestrained in how he expressed his emotions, no matter what that emotion may be.

I wonder if Kaito said this because he wondered “how is it that he’s able to be so honest?” or maybe he was trying to show that he understood his reasons for hiding behind a smile, pointing out the similarities between them; that they were not so different despite having different goals. Kaito’s next comment in particular is probably what caught my attention the most. He divulged the detail about how Syaoran suppressed his honesty particularly to try and prevent the future that his mother saw. Even Syaoran seemed surprised by this, and he had good reason to be! This was likely a very personal moment, one he hasn’t even told Sakura about yet, and this implies that he might have been there when this particular moment happened. It makes sense too, considering Akiho had stated in her very first appearance that she was in Hong Kong just before coming to Japan, meaning she and Kaito were certainly there at the same time Syaoran was, at least for a brief time. This means he probably saw all the effort he was putting in for Sakura’s sake and maybe this resonated with him. I think maybe he also saw how his older sisters, even though they had no magic of their own, are treated with respect in the Li clan, unlike Akiho with her own. Kaito has only ever known a world where those who are strong are used and those who are weak are deemed worthless (like Akiho), but yet Syaoran lives in a world where both live harmoniously. Sakura’s world in Tomoeda is the same as well and filled with kindness, far different from any other experience Kaito has had, and this must have been quite the culture shock! But more importantly, Syaoran and Sakura have all the things that he and Akiho never had.

Another interesting thing to note here is that Kaito was supposedly expelled from the association about a year ago due to stealing a powerful magical instrument that was forbidden to be taken (which we now know to be Akiho herself). And guess what else happened about a year ago? About a year ago, Syaoran went back to Hong Kong to handle his ‘important things’. Coincidence? Well, famously CLAMP series often say there is no such thing as coincidence...only hitsuzen. 

Just as he is about to send another attack at Syaoran, he talks about how he and Syaoran both do not have the power of divination, but that “it is for the strong to decide…what the future holds in store for us all”. I think what he meant here is “Neither of us know how this is going to turn out, but the both of us are working hard for our own goals, so may the best man win”. However, before he could go any further, Sakura used TRANSFER to switch places, and he is both surprised by this, but quite quickly decides to end things and rewind time at this moment, indicating that he had not really wanted to engage with Sakura at all at this point in time. He had even stated at the beginning of chapter 42 that he had intended to keep her frozen and only have Syaoran able to move, meaning this whole situation had only been kept going for this long so that he could talk to Syaoran.

After rewinding time and talking to Akiho later that evening, he mentioned how Parent’s day was “quite illuminating”. This could have been said about his newfound knowledge of Fujitaka, but I also believe he learned quite a bit from Syaoran as well.

Now we finally get to the more recent chapters, like 54 and 55. While sitting together at the botanical garden, Kaito puts yet another spell on Syaoran to force him to smile against his will to avoid any suspicion. I feel like this was not just to keep the peace but also somewhat of a way to toy with and tease Syaoran. What better way to get under the skin of someone so honest and open with their feelings than to force them to hide these under a smile unwillingly? I think this was the mischievous side of Kaito showing and almost like a big brother teasing a little brother, but unfortunately for him, he pushed things too far with this, and not only did Sakura notice something was wrong, but this allowed the spell to be broken, and Syaoran wasted absolutely zero time saying the things he had been suppressed in saying before.

Cue to chapter 55, our most recent chapter. Sakura has managed to keep herself from being frozen in time, and she starts off with a few basic questions. The first one was if he knew about her being able to use cards. Kaito answered simply “Yes”. But when asked about if he knew about Syaoran, he gave two very specific details about him, particularly that he knew he was a gifted sorcerer and that he was the next head of the Li clan”. He could have just answered yes, the same way he responded in regards to Sakura, but instead he seems to have wanted Sakura to know in that moment that he knows a lot of information about Syaoran and not just that he can use magic. The two then exchange meaningful looks, and it’s right after this that she looks over to Syaoran and Akiho, looking almost worried. Now, it’s not clear what they were both thinking in this moment, and it’s possible that I am overthinking this one, but I find it fascinating that his answer was so detailed here, and I don’t feel like that was for nothing. Ohkawa has always been very thoughtful about the words she writes in her scripts, and I think this is no exception.

Anyways, I feel like we’ll get more definitive answers in the future, but I’m incredibly intrigued to see if there are any further and more concrete connections between them. I feel like CLAMP has done quite a bit to point out similarities between the two, and it should be a wild ride from here on out!!

[shihalyfie]

Hi :) If it's not too much trouble, could you please share your take on why they'd continue the Adventure brand after tri. was such a flop? (and a tangent: what does "dark history" even mean?). We got Kizuna, the reboot, and a 02 movie. Logically, it doesn't really make sense they'd keep investing in it.

This is a thorny topic, and I'd like to reiterate that although I've ended up making more posts related to this series and the discourse surrounding it recently (probably because it's even more on the mind now that another movie is on the horizon and a lot of people are apprehensive for various reasons), I do not want this blog to be making a brand out of being critical of this series. I’m writing this here and in public because I figured that there is a certain degree I need to clarify what I mean about audience reception/climate and how it might impact current or future works, and I’m admittedly also more than a little upset that I occasionally see Western fanbase criticisms of the series getting dismissed by people claiming that the only people mad about it are dramamongering or ignorant Westerners (which could not be further from the truth). However, this is mainly to address this and to answer your question, and is not intended to try and change anyone's existing opinion or impression of the series as much as it's me trying to explain (from my own personal reading of the situation) what practically went down with critical reception in real life; no more, no less.

The short summary of the matter is:

The series was a moderate financial success (albeit with some caveats; see the long version for details) and definitely outstripped a lot of prior attempts to revive the franchise;

However, the overall Japanese fanbase-side critical backlash from tri. was extremely and viciously negative to the point where even acknowledging the series too much could easily result in controversy;

Kizuna’s production and the PR surrounding it very obviously have this in mind with a lot of apparent “damage control” elements.

The long version is below.

Note that while I try to be diligent about citing my sources so people understand that I’m not just making things up wholesale, I’m deliberately refraining from linking certain things here this time, both because some of the things mentioned have some pretty crude things written there -- it’s not something I feel comfortable directing people to regardless of what language it’s in -- and because I don’t want to recklessly link things on social media and cause anyone to go after or harass the people involved. For the links that have been provided, please still be warned that some of them don’t really link to particularly pleasant things.

I am not writing the following information to suggest that anyone should agree or disagree with the sentiments being described. I know people tend to take "a lot of people like/hate this" as a signal of implication "it is correct to like/hate this" when it's not (and I especially dislike the idea of implying that Japanese fanbase opinions are the only correct ones). There's a reason I focus on "critical reception being this way" (because it influences marketing decisions and future direction) rather than how much this should impact one's personal feelings; this is coming from myself as someone who is shamelessly proud of liking many things that had bad critical reception, were financial failures, or are disliked by many. As I point out near the end, the situation also does seem to be changing for the better in more recent years as well.

Also, to be clear, I'm a single person who's observing everything best I can from my end, I have no affiliations with staff nor do I claim to, and as much as I'm capable of reading Japanese and thus reading a lot of people's impressions, I'm ultimately still another “outsider” looking in. These are my impressions from my observation of fan communal spaces, following artists and reading comments on social media and art posting websites, and results from social media searches. In the end, I know as much as anyone else about what happened, so this is just my two cents based on all of my personal observations.

A fanbase is a fanbase regardless of what part of the world you're from. There are people who love it and are shameless about saying so. There are people who have mixed feelings or at least aren't on extreme ends of the spectrum (as always, the loudest ones are always the most visible, but it's not always easy to claim they're the predominant percentage of the fanbase). That happens everywhere, and I still find that on every end I've seen. However, if I'm talking about my impressions and everything I’ve encountered, I will say that the overall Japanese reaction to tri. comes off as significantly more violently negative on average than the Western one, which is unusual because often it's the other way around. (I personally feel less so because the opinions are that fundamentally different and more so because we're honestly kind of loud and in-your-face people; otherwise, humans are mostly the same everywhere, and more often than not people feel roughly the same about everything if they’re given the same information to work with.)

This is not something I can say lightly, and thus would not say if I didn’t really get this impression, but...we're talking "casually looking up movie reviews for Kizuna have an overwhelming amount of people casually citing any acknowledgment of tri. elements as a negative element", or the fact that even communal wikis for "general" fandoms like Pixiv and Aniwota don't tend to hold back in being vicious about it (as of this writing, Pixiv's wiki refuses to consider it in the same timeline as Adventure, accusing it of being "a series that claims to be a sequel set three years after 02 but is in fact something different"). Again, there are people who openly enjoy it and actively advocate for it (and Pixiv even warns people to not lord over others about it condescendingly because of the fact that such people do exist), and this is also more of a reflection of “the hardcore fanbase on the Internet” and not necessarily the mainstream (after all, there are quite a few other Digimon works where the critical reception varies very heavily between the two). Nevertheless, the take-home is that the reputation is overall negative among the Internet fanbase to the point that this is the kind of sentiment you run into without trying all that hard.

I think, generally speaking, if we're just talking about why a lot of people resent the series, the reasons aren't that different from those on the Western side. However, that issue of "dark history" (黒歴史): there's a certain degree of demand from the more violently negative side of the fanbase that's, in a sense, asking official to treat it as a disgrace and never acknowledge it ever again, hence why Kizuna doing so much as borrowing things from it rather than rejecting it outright is still sometimes treated like it’s committing a sin. So it's somewhat close in spirit to a retcon movement, which is unusual because no other Digimon series gets this (not even 02; that was definitely a thing on the Western end, but while I'm sure there are people who hate it that much on their end too, I've never really seen it gain enough momentum for anyone to take it seriously). If anyone ever tells you that Japanese fanbases are nice to everything, either they don't know Japanese, are being willfully ignorant, or are lying to you, because there is such thing as drama in those areas, and in my experience, I've seen things get really nasty when things are sufficiently pushed over the edge, and if a fanbase wants to have drama, it will have drama. This happens to be one of those times.

(If you think this is extreme, please know that I also think so too, so I hope you really understand that me describing this sentiment does not mean I am personally endorsing it. Also, let me reiterate that the loudest section of the fanbase is not necessarily the predominant one; after all, as someone who’s been watching reactions to 02 over the years, I myself can attest that its hatedom has historically made it sound more despised than it actually is in practice.)

My impression is that the primary core sentiment behind why the series so much as existing and being validated is considered such an offense (rather than, say, just saying "wow, that writing was bad" and moving on) is heavily tied to the release circumstances the series came out in during 2015-2018, and the idea that "this series disrespected Adventure, and also disrespected the fanbase.” (I mean, really, regardless of what part of the world you’re from, sequels and adaptations tend to be held to a higher bar of expectation than standalone works, because they’re expected to do them justice.) A list of complaints I’ve come across a lot while reading through the above:

The Japanese fanbase is pretty good at recordkeeping when it comes to Adventure universe lore, partially because they got a lot of extra materials that weren’t localized, but also partially because adherence to it seems to generally be more Serious Business to them than it is elsewhere. For instance, “according to Adventure episode 45, ‘the one who wishes for stability’ (Homeostasis) only started choosing children in 1995, and therefore there can be no Chosen Children before 1995” is taken with such gravity that this, not anything to do with evolutions or timeline issues, is the main reason Hurricane Touchdown’s canonicity was disputed in that arena (because Wallace implies that he met his partners before 1995). It’s a huge reason the question of Kizuna also potentially not complying to lore came to the forefront, because tri. so flagrantly contradicts it so much that this issue became very high on the evaluation checklist. In practice, Kizuna actually goes against Adventure/02 very little, so the reason tri. in particular comes under fire for this is that it does it so blatantly there were theories as early as Part 1 that this series must take place in a parallel universe or something, and as soon as it became clear it didn’t, the resulting sentiment was “wow, you seriously thought nobody would notice?” (thus “disrespecting the audience”).

A lot of the characterization incongruity is extremely obvious when you’re following only the Japanese version, partially because it didn’t have certain localization-induced characterization changes (you are significantly less likely to notice a disparity with Mimi if you’re working off the American English dub where they actually did make her likely to step on others’ toes and be condescending, whereas in Japanese the disparity is jarring and hard to miss) and partially due to some things lost in translation (Mimi improperly using rough language on elders is much easier to spot as incongruity if you’re familiar with the language). Because it’s so difficult to miss, and honestly feels like a lot of strange writing decisions you’d make only if you really had no concept of what on earth happened in the original series, it only contributes to the idea that they were handling Adventure carelessly and disrespectfully without paying attention to what the series was even about (that, or worse, they didn’t care).

02 is generally well-liked there! It’s controversial no matter where you go, but as I said earlier, there was no way a retcon movement would have ever been taken seriously, and the predominant sentiment is that, even if you’re not a huge fan of it, its place in canon (even the epilogue) should be respected. So not only flagrantly going against 02-introduced lore but also doing that to a certain quartet is seen as malicious, and you don’t have as much of the converse discourse celebrating murdering the 02 quartet (yeah, that’s a thing that happened here) or accusing people with complaints of “just being salty because they like 02″ as nearly as much of a factor; I did see it happen, or at least dismissals akin to “well it’s Adventure targeted anyway,” but they were much less frequent. The issue with the 02 quartet is usually the first major one brought up, and there’s a lot of complaints even among those who don’t care for 02 as much that the way they went about it was inhumane and hypocritical, especially when killing Imperialdramon is fine but killing Meicoomon is a sin. Also, again, “you seriously think nobody will see a problem with how this doesn’t make sense?”

I think even those who are fans of the series generally agree with this, but part of the reason the actual real-life time this series went on is an important factor is that the PR campaign for this series was godawful. Nine months of clicking on an egg on a website pretending like audience participation meant something when in actuality it was blatantly obvious it was just a smokescreen to reveal info whenever they were ready? This resulted in a chain effect where even more innocuous/defensible things were viewed in a suspicious or negative light (for instance, "the scam of selling the fake Kaiser's goggles knowing Ken fans would buy it only to reveal that it's not him anyway"), and a bunch of progressively out-of-touch-with-the-fanbase statements and poor choices led to more sentiment “yeah, you’re just insulting the fanbase at this point,” and a general erosion of trust in official overall.

On top of that, the choice of release format to have it spread out as six movies over three years seems to have exacerbated the backlash to get much worse than it would have been otherwise, especially since one of the major grievances with the series is that how it basically strung people along, building up more and more unanswered questions before it became apparent it was never going to answer them anyway. So when you’re getting that frustrated feeling over three whole years, it feels like three years of prolonged torture, and it becomes much harder to forgive for the fallout than if you’d just marathoned the entire thing at once.

For those who are really into the Digimon (i.e. species) lore and null canon, while I’m not particularly well-versed in that side of the fanbase, it seems tri. fell afoul of them too for having inaccurately portrayed (at one point, mislabeled) special attacks and poorly done battle choreography, along with the treatment of Digimon in general (infantilized Digimon characterization, general lack of Digimon characters in general, very flippant treatment of the Digital World in Parts 3-5). If you say you’re going to “reboot” the Digital World and not address the entire can of worms that comes with basically damaging an entire civilization of Digimon, as you can imagine, a lot of people who actually really care about that are going to be pissed, and the emerging sentiment is “you’re billing this as a Digimon work, but you don’t even care about the monsters that make up this franchise.”

The director does not have a very positive reputation among those who know his work (beyond just Digimon), and in general there was a lot of suspicion around the fact they decided to get a guy whose career has primarily been built on harem and fanservice anime to direct a sequel to a children’s series. Add to that a ton of increasingly unnerving statements about how he intended to make the series “mature” in comparison to its predecessor (basically, an implication that Adventure and 02 were happy happy joy series where nothing bad ever happened) and descriptions of Adventure that implied a very, very poor grasp of anything that happened in it: inaccurate descriptions of their characters, poor awareness of 02′s place in the narrative, outright saying in Febri that he saw the Digimon as like perpetual kindergartners even after evolving, and generally such a flippant attitude that it drove home the idea that the director of an Adventure sequel had no respect for Adventure, made this series just to maliciously dunk on it for supposedly being immature, and has such a poor grasp of what it even was that it’s possible he may not have seen it in the first place (or if he did, clearly skimmed it to the extent he understood it poorly to pretty disturbing levels). As of this writing, Aniwota Wiki directly cites him as a major reason for the backlash.

In general, consensus seems to be that the most positively received aspect of the series (story-wise) was Part 3 (mostly its ending, but some are more amenable to the Takeru and Patamon drama), and the worst vitriol goes towards Parts 2 (for the blatantly contradictory portrayal of Mimi and Jou and the hypocritical killing of Imperialdramon) and 4 (basically the “point of no return” where even more optimistic people started getting really turned off). This is also what I suspect is behind the numbers on the infamous DigiPoll (although the percentage difference is admittedly low enough to fall within margin of error). However, there was suspicion about the series even from Part 1, with one prominent fanartist openly stating that it felt more like meeting a ton of new people than it did reuniting with anyone they knew.

So with all of that on the table: how did this affect official? The thing is that when I say “violently negative”, I mean that also entailed spamming official with said violently negative social media comments. While this is speculation, I am fairly certain that official must have realized how bad this was getting as early as between Parts 4 and 5, because that’s where a lot of really suspicious things started happening behind the scenes; while I imagine the anime series itself was now too far in to really do anything about it, one of the most visible producers suddenly vanished from the producer lineup and was replaced by Kinoshita Yousuke, who ended up being the only member of tri. staff shared with Kizuna (and, in general, the fact that not a single member of staff otherwise was retained kind of says a lot). Once the series ended in 2018 and the franchise slowly moved into Kizuna-related things, you might notice that tri.-branded merch production almost entirely screeched to a halt and official has been very touchy about acknowledging it too deeply; it’s not that they don’t, but it’s kind of an awfully low amount for what you’d think would be warranted for a series that’s supposed to be a full entry in the big-name Adventure brand.

The reason is, simply, that if they do acknowledge it too much, people will get pissed at them. That’s presumably why the tri. stage play (made during that interim period between Parts 4 and 5 and even branded with the title itself) and Kizuna are really hesitant to be too aggressive about tri. references; it’s not necessarily that official wants to blot it out of history like the most extreme opinions would like them to, but even being too enthusiastic about affirming it will also get them backlash, especially if the things they affirm are contradictory to Adventure or 02. And considering even the small references they did put in still got them criticism for “affirming” tri. too much, you can easily see that the backlash would have been much harder if they’d attempted more than that; staying as close as possible to Adventure and 02 and trying to deal with tri. elements only when they’re comparatively inoffensive was pretty much the “safe” thing to do in this scenario (especially since fully denying tri. would most certainly upset the people who did like the series, and if you have to ask me, I personally think this would have been a pretty crude thing to have done right after the series had just finished). Even interviews taken after the fact often involve quickly disclaiming involvement with the series, or, if they have to bring up something about it, discussing the less controversial aspects like the art (while the character designs were still controversial, it’s at least at the point where some fanartists will still be willing to make use of them even if they dislike the series, albeit often with prominent disclaimers) or the more well-received parts of Part 3; Kizuna was very conspicuously marketed as a standalone movie, even if it shared the point of “the Adventure kids, but older” that tri. had.

(Incidentally, the tri. stage play has generally been met with a good reputation and was received well even among people who were upset with the anime, so it was well-understood that they had no relation. In fact, said stage play is probably even better received than Kizuna, although that’s not too surprising given the controversial territory Kizuna goes into, making the stage play feel very play-it-safe in comparison.)

So, if we’re going to talk about Kizuna in particular: tri. was, to some degree, a moderate financial success, in the sense that it made quite a bit of money and did a lot to raise awareness of the Digimon brand still continuing...however, if you actually look at the sales figures for tri., they go down every movie; part of it was probably because of the progressively higher “hurdle” to get into a series midway, but consider that Gundam Unicorn (a movie series which tri.’s format was often compared to) had its sales go up per movie thanks to word of mouth and hype. So while tri. does seem to have gotten enough money to help sustain the franchise at first, the trade-off was an extremely livid fanbase that had shattered faith in the brand and in official, and so while continuing the Adventure brand might still be profitable, there was no way they were going to get away with continuing to do this lest everything eventually crash and burn.

Hence, if you look at the way Kizuna was produced and advertised, you can see a lot of it is blatantly geared at addressing a lot of the woes aimed at tri.: instead of the staff that had virtually no affiliation with Toei, the main members of staff announced were either from the original series (Seki and Yamatoya) or openly childhood fans, the 02 quartet was made into a huge advertising point as a dramatic DigiFes reveal (and character profies that tie into the 02 epilogue careers prominently part of the advertising from day one), and they even seemed to acknowledge the burnout on the original Adventure group by advertising it so heavily as “the last adventure of Taichi and his friends”, so you can see that there’s a huge sentiment of “damage control” with it. How successful that was...is debatable, since opinions have been all over the board; quite a few people were naturally so livid at what happened with tri. that Kizuna was just opening more of the wound, but there were also people who liked it much better and were willing to acknowledge it (with varying levels of enthusiasm, some simply saying “it was thankfully okay,” and some outright loving it), and there was a general sentiment even among those who disliked both that they at least understood what Kizuna was going for and that it didn’t feel as inherently disrespectful. (Of course, there are people who loved tri. and hated Kizuna, and there are people who loved both, too.)

Moreover, Kizuna actually has a slightly different target audience from tri.; there’s a pretty big difference between an OVA and a theatrical movie, and, quite simply, Kizuna was made under the assumption that a lot of people watching it may not have even seen tri. in the first place. An average of 11% of the country watched Adventure and 02, but the number of people who watched tri. is much smaller, in part due to the fact that its “theater” screenings were only very limited screenings compared to Kizuna being shown in theaters in Japan and worldwide, and in part due to the fact that watching six parts over three years is a pretty huge commitment for someone who may barely remember Digimon as anything beyond a show they watched as a kid, and may be liable to just fall off partway through because they simply just forgot. (Which also probably wasn’t helped by the infamously negative reputation, something that definitely wouldn’t encourage someone already on the fence.) And that’s yet another reason Kizuna couldn’t make too many concrete tri. references; being a theatrical movie, it needs to have as wide appeal as possible, and couldn’t risk locking out an audience that had a very high likelihood of not having seen it, much less to the end -- it may have somewhat been informed by tri.’s moderate financial success and precedent, but it ultimately was made for the original Adventure and 02 audience more than anything else.

I would say that, generally, while Kizuna is “controversial” for sure, reception towards the movie seems to be more positive than negative, it won over a large chunk of people who were burned out by tri., and it clearly seems to have been received well enough that it’s still being cashed in on a year after its release. The sheer existence of the upcoming 02-based movie is also probably a sign of Kizuna’s financial and critical success; Kinoshita confirmed at DigiFes 2020 that nothing was in production at the time, and stated shortly after the movie’s announcement that work on it had just started. So the decision to make it seems to have been made after eyeing Kizuna’s reception, and, moreover, the movie was initially advertised from the get-go with Kizuna’s director and writer (Taguchi and Yamatoya), meaning those two have curried enough goodwill from the fanbase that this can be used to promote the movie. (If not, you would think that having and advertising Seki would be the bigger priority.) While this is my own sentiment, I am personally doubtful official would have even considered 02 something remotely profitable enough on its own to cash in on if it weren’t for this entire sequence of events of 02′s snubbing in tri. revealing how much of a fanbase it had (especially with the sheer degree of “suspicious overcompensation” Kizuna had with its copious use of the 02 quartet and it tagging a remix of the first 02 ED on the Hanareteitemo single, followed by the drama CD and character songs), followed by Kizuna having success in advertising with them so heavily. Given all of the events between 2015 and now, it’s a bit ironic to see that 02 has now become basically the last resort to be able to continue anything in the original Adventure universe without getting too many people upset at them about it.

The bright side coming out of all of this is that, while it’s still a bit early to tell, now that we’re three years out from tri. finishing up and with Kizuna in the game, it seems there’s a possibility for things improving around tri.’s reception as well. Since a lot of the worst heated points of backlash against it have a very “you had to have been there” element (related to the PR, release schedule, and staff comments), those coming in “late” don’t have as much reason to be as pissed at it; I’ve seen at least one case of a fanartist getting back into the franchise because of Kizuna hype, watching tri. to catch up, casually criticizing it on Twitter, and moving on with their life, presumably because marathoning the whole thing being generally aware of what’ll happen in it and knowing Kizuna is coming after anyway gives you a lot less reason to be angry to the point of holding an outright grudge. Basically, even if you don’t like it, it’s much easier to actually go “yeah, didn’t like that,” not worry too much about it, and move on. Likewise, I personally get the impression that official has been starting to get a little more confident about digging up elements related to it. Unfortunately, a fairly recent tweet promoting the series getting put on streaming services still got quite a few angry comments implying that they should be deleting the scourge from the Internet instead, so there’s still a long way to go, but hopefully the following years will see things improve further...

In regards to the reboot, I -- and I think a lot of people will agree with me -- have a bit of a hard time reading what exact audience it’s trying to appeal to; we have a few hints from official that they want parents to watch it with their children, and that it may have been a necessary ploy in order to secure their original timeslot. So basically, the Adventure branding gets parents who grew up with the original series to be interested in it and to show it to their kids, and convinces Fuji TV that it might be profitable. But as most people have figured by now, the series has a completely different philosophy and writing style -- I mean, the interview itself functionally admits it’s here to be more action-oriented and to have its own identity -- and the target audience is more the kids than anything else. As for the Internet fanbase of veterans, most people have been critical of its character writing and pacing, but other than a few stragglers who are still really pissed, it hasn’t attracted all that much vitriol, probably because in the end it’s an alternate universe, it doesn’t have any obligation to adhere to anything from the original even if it uses the branding, and it’s clearly still doing its job of being a kids’ show for kids who never saw the original series nor 02, so an attempt to call it “disrespectful” to the original doesn’t have much to stand on. A good number of people who are bored of it decided it wasn’t interesting to them and dropped it without incident, while other people are generally just enjoying it for being fun, and the huge amount of Digimon franchise fanservice with underrepresented Digimon and high fidelity to null canon lore is really pleasing the side of the fanbase that’s into that (I mean, Digimon World Golemon is really deep in), so at the very least, there’s not a lot to be super-upset about.

[project-paranoia]

Let’s Watch: Yin Yang Master: Dream of Eternity

I have watched this movie 85 Whole Entire Times and I do not regret.  The only thing wrong with this movie is that it wasn't a fifty episode series.  I cried, I laughed, I fell in love.  The cinematography is on point, the acting is amazing, the crew member who put snow on people's eyebrows did an amazing job, and the acting!  The subtlety, the gentleness, the love and affection, the discussion of race is one of the best I've ever seen.

As people have pointed out before in series like X-Men that fear of mutant's is practically if not thematically justified due to the laser eyes in a way that fear of ethnic minorities just isn't in real life.  In Dream of Eternity however humans are equally if not sometimes more super powered than the yao they hunt.  Demons - very much not in the Christian sense - are a mixture of spirits, resentful souls, and animals and plants who cultivated to human form.  They often appear human at first glance and in some cases the extent of their power seems to be the limited to turning into a smaller more vulnerable animal.  Qingming's deliberate care and gentleness not only reflects his upbringing as a Yin Yang Master, but parallels the experience of racial minorities labelled as aggressive.

The movie takes particular care as well in the way it looks at trauma, grief, and love.  The three of which haunt the main characters and send out ripple effects into the world around them.  In the world of Dream of Eternity no loss is purely private, it spools out into the world around the person effected until they make an effect to acknowledge and deal with their experiences.  Qingming's warmth and gentleness isn't just marked by his behaviour but by the orange light he's lit by and his variety of shishen - but he is also separate, standing alone in frame and facing away from the people around him.  Boya's loss has made him unforgiving and as cold as the blue light he's lit in, and yet he is open and instinctive, talking and acting as soon as the thought enters his head.  The Empress is lost and drifting, trapped and grief stricken, vulnerable to those who profess to love her.  The film is simple, it says and shows what it means when it means it - but it is also as complex as the very human characters it depicts.  

The movie is made even more complex by its pull from theaters.  Claims of plagiarism drench the edges of the movie, which as true as the assertion that Fan BingBing went on a spa vacation in 2018.  Although this blog is about Chinese censorship dealing specifically with BL content, Chinese censorship also effects those who criticize governmental policy.  I hope that supporters of this blog will also support Chinese media threatened by censorship for many reasons so that artists and others involved in film making can continue to make meaningful content.

Doing a watchthrough of a movie is not feasible, but please enjoy a few thousand words - with spoilers on Yin Yang Master included:

* That gentle chiming and rain soundscaping is so soothing, what a great way to calm and lull the audience before the movie even starts * Qingming is so small and isolated in the frame - cinema! * The lighting and cinematography is just so good * Shifu, soft gentle teacher * So much love stored in the Shifu * Instant grow * This boy is Sassy * This theme of deflection in Qingming's character is established early * Deflection with a teleportation portal and then immediately deflection verbally * Shifu is certainly an attractive man aged up, but his face is also soft and gentle, something to note when his double pops up later * Also the awkward question of don't you have someone you want to protect, maybe part of the problem is that shifu is just really bad at wording things * The answer that yes he does has several meanings, one of which is immediately apparent when Shifu acts out one of those Father Saves Child By Yeeting them youtube videos * ACtion MuSIC * I love them your honour * The spirit guardian's design is so specific and elegant, absolutely superb you funky little shishen * I wonder if Qingming ever thinks about that if he didn't come back with all his fellow disciples that Shifu would have been fine * Maybe it's not that he doesn't have someone he wants to protect and more that he believes that he's not capable of protecting those he wants to * subtle indication Shifu's qi is corrupted * Precious Magic Childe ;-; * The framing, I'm living for it * The Serpent graphic is lovely * Also the way they set things up * Qingming cares so much about his shifu * Mark Chao just has the ability to crumple his face like paper * Sad Time exposition involving the corrupting influence of desires * "When you're gone I'll be all alone" in just about all you need to know about Qingming at this point in the story * Also like, sympathy for Shifu in raising this lonely child.  By all accounts he was an absolutely superb father figure, and Qingming I'm sure was not an easy child to raise.  He's the sort of kid that would take a lot of calm and patience. * Slumber party! * It's kind of interesting that this is an activity Fangyue and He Shouyue are doing together.  He's definitely obsessed and in love with her and she's just doing friends and family activities with him * Also yellow/gold lighting is kind of their thing * It's interesting how they do the make up for He Shouyue.  The actor is very attractive, but they make him up to look doll like, a little too pretty, a little too shiny.  Like a porcelain doll. * Cool lit Boya and warm lit Qingming appear! * Camels! * The framing is so good, they're careful to be sure he's shown as obviously isolated as much as possible * And it should go without saying that I adore the City * The matte painting is outstanding * But there's also the lighting, the vignettes, the clusters, the foliage * It is a supremely beautiful set * The irony that Killing Stone is playing along with Boya's music and then it's Boya who kicks him around * A small note, but one I appreciate - even when Boya has warm highlight's they're red instead of orange * "It's Jason Bourne!" * I hope Qingming paid for that water taxi * It's interesting how Killing Stone goes from the safety of Qingming's orange light to the danger of Qingming's blue * Colour related foreshadowing! * Look at this poor sweet man, how could anyone suspect him of anything.  He's just a sad man who loves his dead wife * Qingming's use of a fan is interesting - battle fans show up all over wuxia and xianxia, but it feels like it also ties into the way he's so very careful in how he presents himself.  There's that quote that a sword can only be a sword but other weapons are also able to serve other purposes - not a perfect quote but the point is got across. * The way Qingming just knocks Boya back, like get An Clue, my dude * The way that Killing Stone curls around the pipa ;-; * So the movie is based on the book series 'Onmyoji' by Yumemakura Baku.  The books start with Seimei (Qingming) and Hiromasa (Boya) already in a relationship talking about various cases Seimei has recently experienced.  Plotwise, obviously the stories are different, however thematically Seimei and Hiromasa discuss why some yao stick around and solutions to the difficulties and dangers they might cause - which is generally from Seimei's very successful perspective to listen and treat them like humans.  So in that way the plots of the books and the movie are quite different, but the themes are just about identical. * Boya says Don't Talk Me I Angy and also that demons don't have feelings and Qingming's face takes out a billboard that's just like Ah, Another Fantasy Racist, Excellent * Qingming also does what should be done in this situation, taking care of the victim not the racist * Fight scene!  Fight scene! * Qingming's first few moves aren't to attack, they're to distract and just hold his fan up to block Boya's way and his view - it's only when Boya persists in attacking that Qingming fights back * Qingming's sassy smile, he is very much deliberately irritating Boya as much as he's refocusing his attention and distracting him * "nICE sWORD" * I've sighed that sigh before * This boy is taking great pleasure from teasing Boya, but also he makes a really good point * I understand and relate to what Qingming did, but also I can understand why Boya was ready to throw rocks at Qingming when he saw him again * Killing Stone lit in Qingming's orange light again * Killing Stone, my beloved * A good gauge to the state of the world for yao is no one has told this sweet boy before that demons have feelings too * There are several lines like this in the movie that just drop kick you with Implications * The same way Qingming clung to Zhongxing, Killing Stone wants to join up with Qingming to have some compassion in his life * The way he asks to be a spirit guardian is so formal too, and Qingming is so gentle with him, I cry ;-; * The warm orange light of Qingming's love ;-; * He heals the wounds * It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realise it's the actual imperial degree speaking and not one the of Jingyun Temple Masters * The mutual this guy again is delicious * "Is it because of your pretty face" * Boya draws his sword so fast and Qingming is so amused by it * Longye!  Queen!  I love her! * The two of them seem to understand each other instantly * Those sassy little smiles * He Shouyue looks even more like a doll than before * Longye has her head on a swivel from second one, she plays the Maiden so well like she's not a skilled master * And her customer service smile * Qingming is shooketh

* What happens next?  You'll have to watch and find out!

[illuminatedquill]

My Name, The Review (Mostly Han So Hee)

“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” 

- Unknown 

To be upfront, I have to state that revenge stories are not my cup of tea. 

I don’t personally condone the notion of revenge and once you’ve seen one revenge story, you’ve seen them all: the outcome is always the same. The Count of Monte Cristo is kind of the granddaddy of all revenge stories and it’s hard to improve - or change - on that one. But it’s always a lucrative genre - think John Wick - and so people always flock to them. Revenge is such a personal notion and one that people are always fascinated with. 

You always want to know what price people are willing to pay when faced with such extreme loss. 

Han So Hee’s newest drama My Name doesn’t do anything extraordinary or try to change up that old tried and true formula. There a few twists and turns in its short eight episode format but I guessed right off the bat who was responsible for her father’s murder and I felt a personal sense of vindication when I was proven correct at the end. 

I’m not going to go too deep in the story because, to me, that was the weakest part of this drama. It starts off promising but rapidly gets weaker with each following episode, which is unfortunate, considering the solid premise set up by the first episode. We see Yoon Ji-woo’s life, such as it is, completely upended by the loss of her father and her increasingly desperate actions to find his killer lead her down a dark path. 

I’m going to touch upon this briefly because it’s something I want to address in another post but the short format of this drama proves to be its undoing. This should have been a slow burn story - setting up Ji-woo’s circumstances, her growing bond with Pil-do and the Captain along with the rest of her squadmates, her general characterization and increasingly desperate effort of maintaining these two separate, yet conflicting identities - all of it being mostly shoved aside in favor of a bland narrative that only seems to serve as how to get Ji-woo to the next big action sequence. 

It’s a travesty. I understand what Netflix is doing here with shortening the length of their exclusive kdramas and so far it’s been working - mostly. But kdramas are meant to be 16 episodes, usually, for a reason. It gives the story and the characters the proper amount of time to develop and grow and move forward in an organic way. The recent Netflix exclusives I’ve watched - Extracurricular, Squid Game, and now My Name, suffered from this problem to varying degrees but I think My Name has the worst of it. The characterization suffers, something that kdramas excel at, and the story stops being about substance and more about spectacle. 

So, in short, I did not like My Name. It doesn’t live up to the strong premise set up by the first episode for the reasons I wrote about in the previous paragraphs. It does have a lot going for it - amazing acting talent, awesome OST, and top tier cinematography - but all that doesn’t make up for the lackluster story.  

Choi Mu-jin ended up being my favorite character. HIs actor, Park Hee-soon, is a veteran actor and the perfect choice to play this dark criminal overlord who’s suffering from a wounded heart. His downfall throughout the series as he unravels from the consequences of events he set in motion is heartbreaking, even as you loathe the actions he takes to set things right. Just like Ji-woo, he ends up losing everything important to him, but unlike Ji-woo, you feel for his losses. I credit that to Park Hee-soon’s incredible performance; you hate him, but cannot outright call him a monster. He’s too human for that. 

But what about Yoon Ji-woo? Well, that’s an interesting conversation. That’s mainly why I’m writing this. Because, as I said before, I don’t really care for revenge stories. But Han So Hee chose this as her next project and I was interested to see if she could redeem herself after her performance in the frustrating Nevertheless. 

If you came here for my usual analysis or review about the other aspects of the series, I apologize: I watched this for Han So Hee. This review is going to be mainly about her. 

And what did I find? 

Well, let’s talk about it. But before I do, I want to emphasize that I am a fan of Han So Hee, so please do not mistake my criticism as dislike for her as an actor or person. I am critical because I know she can do better and want her to succeed in her career. 

As always, potential SPOILERS ahead. Read at your own risk. 

Hollow People 

I’m of two different opinions when I think about Han So Hee in My Name. 

The first is that she didn’t disappoint. Her transformation here is a far cry from the shy, passive Yu Na-bi in Nevertheless. Yoon Ji-woo/Oh Hye-jin/Song Ji-woo, whatever you want to call her, is a vastly different persona and one I commend her for undertaking in such a dark, heavy kdrama such as this. It takes guts to pull off a character like Ji-woo and I think Han So Hee did the best she could give. 

But I found Ji-woo to be a frustrating character just like I did Yu Na-bi. And that has partly to do with Han So Hee’s performance again. I cannot say whether or not she did the character justice here. I keep changing my mind but most of the time I lean towards a solid ‘no’. But she succeeded in getting past the shadow of Nevertheless and I will always consider that to be a win. 

But I wanted more. Much more. I wanted this to be a complete game changer, a career maker for her, and she fell completely short of that here. 

When I think about top tier acting in kdramas about grief and revenge, I think about My Ahjussi and Hotel Del Luna - specifically about IU’s performance. She has a similar profile to Han So Hee; someone who presents an ethereal, fragile, innocent appearance and was type casted in those roles until her breakout in My Ahjussi. Her character, Lee Ji-an, was so full of dark cynicism, rage, and grief, despite being someone so young and so fragile looking, that IU was virtually unrecognizable. And her other iconic character, Jang Man-wol in Hotel Del Luna, was classy, larger than life, but at times, so consumed with revenge and hatred for those who betrayed her that you felt like IU’s small frame would burst with the force of those emotions. 

I expected to see a combination of those two characters here in Han So Hee’s performance for My Name. I expected a Ji-woo who was on the outside calm, cool, and collected but, inside, screaming with pain and rage and grief from her losses. 

She didn’t do that. Which leads me to my second opinion which is that she did something different from what I expected and it’s why I’m so frustrated and, yet,  intrigued by her acting here. I really want to know why she chose to portray Ji-woo the way she did. 

Ji-woo is hollow. Completely empty, devoid of life, laughter, happiness, sadness, or even grief. She’s someone who has lost the last thread of humanity connecting her to this world and is going through the motions. 

From the beginning of the drama, we see that Ji-woo is already burnt out from her life. She’s on the edge, one foot already hanging over into the gaping abyss, and her father’s death finally gives her that last push. Mu-jin, the criminal overlord, is the one that catches her and gives that spark of defiance inside of her new life, fanning it into a roaring fire of hatred and need for revenge. He saves her life, in a cruel, twisted way. 

And after the first episode, we never see that fire again. Ji-woo is ridiculously stoic, never opening up about her life, living a spartan existence, waiting for the day when she finds her father’s killer. She follows Mu-jin’s commands religiously, never really thinking for herself, always reacting to situations instead of taking any sort of character agency. 

Which is a shame because I could be writing about Yu Na-bi with that last statement. The same issue I had with Na-bi I now have with Ji-woo - they don’t do anything proactive. At all. Both are given situations and have to react to them. Ji-woo is impressive in her improvising and quick thinking, but she doesn’t plan ahead or question her orders - she just does what she’s told and moves on to the next clue in her quest.

I mean there’s that first scene where Mu-jin shows Ji-woo the gun used to kill her father. That should have been an immediate red flag. How does he know that? Was he there? 

But she doesn’t think about, doesn’t even question it until the end. I know you can write it off as her being blinded by her need for revenge but she’s been questioning and probing and hunting for answers the whole time and suddenly you expect me to believe that she doesn’t question this hugely important piece of info popping up. What. 

We see glimmers of that fire here and there - some with Pil-do, some with Mu-jin - in the pure unguarded moments when she actually does open up and talk about herself. But that’s it. She’s more of a character sketch than a fully developed, layered, nuanced human being. You see small instances of where there could be more but it’s never fully explored or delved into. 

You see instances of sheer cunning and badassery (not just in the fight scenes) where Ji-woo is two steps ahead of the game. When she used the gun that killed her father during the raid at Mu-jin’s new meth factory? What a brilliant move. Not only did she save Mu-jin from being captured, but she also re-ignited the investigation into her father’s murder knowing that the gun would be found and analyzed. And, unknowingly, she started her path towards the truth, something that Mu-jin immediately realizes when she calls him about it. God, what a moment of ingenuity on her part. 

And you never see that kind of genius again for the drama’s remaining duration. 

I despise that. Ji-woo really could have been an amazing, heart wrenching, layered role and she gets reduced to being a whirlwind of fists and violence.

At the end Ji-woo acknowledges that she now knows the price for revenge.

“I have to become a monster,” she snarls. She’s lied, manipulated, lost precious people, and killed her way through dozens to get to where she stands at the end. It wasn’t worth it. 

But she’s come too far. 

That last fight is where I finally was impressed with her performance. But it came too little, too late. Han So Hee is amazing when gifted the chance to actually show emotion. I think it’s one of her stronger aspects that got her noticed in the first place. But then came frustrating characters like Na-bi and Ji-woo who are quiet, reserved, and ask for the performance to come from a series of physical nuances - a glimmer of the eye, a tremble in the lips, a clenched fist. 

And I don’t think she’s mastered that just yet. Again, I’m looking to IU’s performances in My Ahjussi and Hotel Del Luna as setting the bar for these kind of anti-heroines. She nailed those roles. 

Ji-woo really shines in the action scenes and that’s where I really got a sense of her character - reckless, head strong, fiery. She dives headfirst into the fights with an expression of anticipation that is almost welcoming. Fighting to fight, fighting to die. 

Han So Hee really did well in these and I can only imagine the physical toll it took on her considering how little time she had to prepare. You almost believe that the petite, slender Ji-woo really could fight off whole mobs of thugs and hitmen. The plot really stretches that into near superhuman levels towards the end but Han So Hee’s desperately breathless performance really sells that she’s still human and can be hurt despite bludgeoning twelve guys to death in a single scene. 

This sense of hollowness that pervades Ji-woo’s characterization is something I struggle with. You really sense that she is living for nothing more than to avenge her father’s death. Her apartment is bare, empty of anything resembling a personality; some water bottles, a home exercise set, a drawer containing her father’s urn and a picture of them when she was younger. She has no hobbies, no friends, no interests outside of her work and her mission. Her fashion is practical and conservative. 

This is someone who’s personal tragedy has eaten up anything resembling humanity within them. Whose devotion towards setting that tragedy right is the only thing moving them forward. So the hollow, dead eyed performance of Han So Hee makes sense, right? 

It would, if it weren’t for the director’s words about Ji-woo. 

“I wanted this drama to be about someone who, in the process of finding themselves, loses themselves.” 

Ji-woo, supposedly, loses herself in this drama. 

But what does she lose? How much further can she fall? That’s the issue I take with here. Because if it’s about Ji-woo turning into a monster, then that humanity is already mostly gone. Ji-woo, for most of the drama, is an unlikeable protagonist and waiting for her to take that next step into darkness was almost entirely the driving force for me to finish this. 

There’s nothing wrong with having an unlikeable protagonist, provided that you still give us reasons to root for them. The director’s previous work, Extracurricular, introduced us to Oh Ji-soo and Bae Gyu-ri; high schoolers that ran a prostitution escort service as a side business. They did terrible things to stay alive and keep ahead of the police on their trail, but you still felt for them, understood their plight, and wanted them to get out free and unscathed despite that. 

That doesn’t happen at any point here for Ji-woo. At least for me. Outside of her father’s murder, I can’t find anything to like, sympathize, or endear me to her. You want her to get caught and I breathed a sigh of relief when Pil-do finally talked some sense into her. 

(His line about revenge: “I was stabbing myself.” Loved that. Ahn Bo Hyun did a solid job here - I thought Pil-do was going to be an asshole, but he was surprisingly a sweet heart. I wanted more scenes of him and Ji-woo since he brought out that long buried humanity. And his chemistry with Han So Hee was palpable. Again, another missed opportunity in this drama.) 

Shooting Gang-jae was supposed to be the turning point in a long, miserable process of her getting darker and more ruthless in her decision making - but it never happens. Because the drama is eight episodes. And we don’t see her build relationships with anyone at the organization outside of Mu-jin or at her official job as detective while working for the police, except for poor Pil-do. So when the reveal hits about who she really is and why she’s really there, it doesn’t hit nearly hard enough. You don’t feel bad for her, really experience that sense of loss. There’s no sense of regret or remorse for the things she does; it’s all cold, almost robotic. Which is why I don’t get that sense that Ji-woo’s losing herself throughout this journey. 

She’s already gone. 

Final Thoughts

Would I recommend this drama? Yes. 

Despite my less than stellar review, I still think it’s worth a watch. Just don’t think too deeply about the plot holes or the poor pacing (it’s way too short and goes way too fast); don’t get invested too much in any of the characters. It’s still entertaining (the fight scenes!) enough to be an enjoyable weekend binge thanks to the solid acting, direction, and music. 

For me, I wanted more. I didn’t get it. In my opinion, Han So Hee hasn’t quite found that iconic character yet that really showcases what she can do. But with the success of this drama, I’m sure other directors are eyeing her for their next project. I’m sure she’ll find it soon and I can’t wait to see what she’ll do next. 

Don’t know what kdrama I’m going to post about next - there’s still the Alice in Borderland vs Squid Game analysis I want to do and then I’d like to talk more about the problems inherent in these Netflix exclusive kdramas, so I’ll still be posting here and there but I haven’t seen any kdramas being teased in the near future that really excite me. 

Hometown Cha Cha Cha was the last one. Feeling a drought coming on . . . 

Maybe I’ll write about some older ones that I haven’t watched yet. Who knows. 

Until next time. See you all then. 

[todorokibois]

{1} - Spring Day

Reincarnation AU - Part of the Spring Day Series

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Possible Smut (In later chapters)

Pairing: Itadori Yuuji X Reader X Ryomen Sukuna

Words: 5,059

A/n: I just recently got into Jujutsu Kaisen but I love it so much already! Ever since I watched episode four and five this little idea has been running around in my mind, and I've seen a few others do an au like this so I decided I'd give it a shot. I’m still learning all the rules and stuff of the world, so please bear with me. Some of the characters may be ooc for the time being, as well as for plot purposes. I hope you enjoy what I have planned, and please do let me know what you think of this. Feedback is always greatly appreciated!

Summary: Being Yuuji’s best friend? Piece of cake. However, you never expected to be the reincarnation of Sukuna’s former lover. - You promised each other forever, but forever came.

Note: The characters are all aged up for this fic, so now they will be in university.

You can still remember the first day you met Itadori Yuuji like it was yesterday. Nothing really eventful happened on that day, but you know that it’s one you’ll never forget, for he’s your best friend and you are his. In fact, having just entered middle school at the time, he was one of the first friends you ever made at your new school. 

He seemed impressed by how unafraid you were of the supernatural, the two of you spouting ghost stories to one another during lunch every day. Each day was a competition to see who could freak the other one out the most with an even gorier horror story every lunch period. So far, your record is thirty to twenty-nine in your favour, with more ties than you can count.

Soon enough, middle school came and went, and then the two of you found out that you were to go to the same high school. Both of you were excited that you would know at least one person, not to mention that that person is your best friend. At least you wouldn’t have to give up your daily routine with him. Needless to say, it came as quite a shock to Yuuji when you stopped coming to school about halfway through your first year.

Even though the two of you continued to text every day since your transfer, things never felt the same to either of you. Every time Yuuji asked what school you transferred to, you’d brush off the question, or give him a fake school name. He knows they’re fake since the one time he wanted to surprise you after school one day by visiting you, but when he went inside and checked the registry, your name wasn’t even close to being listed there.

That was a small rough patch in your relationship. Yuuji was hurt that you would lie to him like that, and it took about a week before you could cheer him up again. He just had to see you in person, that was the only way he would stop moping about. That, and he jokingly said it would be the only way he’d forgive you.

Again, as the two of you were walking around the shopping district, he asked you which high school you transferred to. Well, you couldn’t exactly tell him you transferred to a school that teaches you how to become a jujutsu sorcerer, now could you? So, you gave a vague description of the place, stating that you honestly always forget the name, but it’s hidden somewhere in the mountains surrounding Tokyo. Regardless, he made you promise that he could come visit at some point.

Every day, you miss him, just as he misses you, and every day you wish you could see more of him. Despite the amount of trips you plan together, nothing can replace no longer seeing each other every day. Oh well, at least you still keep in touch.

Yuuji never told you, but it was pure agony for him when you left without a clue as to where you’d gone. The fact that you couldn’t answer him for a few days made him go crazy. When he finally got an answer, it felt as if the world had finally started moving again, because to him, you are his entire world.

He doesn’t exactly know when his platonic feelings towards you turned more romantic, but he knows that they’ve never gone away, no matter how many years have passed. Perhaps it was that time in your second year of middle school when you tricked him into playing shogi with you, a game you had convinced him he could beat you at, only to be severely disappointed. How was he to know you were the best in the year when you had never mentioned it before that day? Or perhaps it was that one day during the summer break before the start of high school when the two of you were running through the park, laughing at each other as the sunlight reflected off of your hair, lighting up your eyes in a way he’d never seen before. Either way, he knows he’s been in love with you for a long time now, and he’d never do anything to jeopardize your friendship. He just hopes that someday, his feelings are returned.

Unfortunately for you, you didn’t get to spend as much time with Yuuji over the break as you wanted to, what with your duties and all. However, you’re hoping you’ll be able to soon. You wanted to see him one last time before he started university, but unfortunately you couldn’t. Weeks passed, and you finally made plans to visit him a few months into the semester, but you had to cancel due to a last minute mission you got thrown on. Little did you know what would happen that night.

Earlier that evening, you had gotten a voicemail from Yuuji, informing you that his grandfather had died. You managed to take a detour long enough to call him back, making sure that he’s okay and letting him know that you’re sorry for his loss. His grandfather was the closest family he had left, so you know that as soon as you’re done with this mission, you’re going to see him. He told you he was fine, but you want to make sure. After all, you know how he can get.

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you focus in on the task at hand. Clearing this abandoned building will be easy for you, nothing you haven’t done before. All there are are two level two curses to take care of, piece of cake. You only wish it was located closer to where Yuuji is, that way you could get to him sooner.

It took a few years, but you managed to quickly work your way up to a grade one sorcerer. You’re a very quick learner, and the fact that you already had strong reflexes thanks to always competing with Yuuji helped a great deal. You’re only surprised your mother kept her family secret for so long. However, you’re grateful for how long she kept it secret, because if she had revealed it sooner, you might not have met Yuuji, and you don’t know where you’d be today without him in your life.

With a sigh, you enter the building. Shifting your gaze around, you begin to hunt the curses currently within the vicinity. It doesn’t take you long to find the first one, quickly disposing of it before it even has the chance to retaliate. Locating the second takes a little bit longer than anticipated, but eventually you find it, preparing yourself to take this one down just as you did the first.

“Man, you really are one ugly thing, aren’t you?” You tut, shaking your head.

The curse in question did not seem to like your words, letting out a screech and lunging for you in the next moment. Quickly dodging, you parry the curse’s attack, managing to sever one of its many limbs before jumping back and keeping a bit of distance between the two of you. You’re just about to jump in for another attack when you falter, a sudden wave of specialized curse energy pulsing throughout your entire body.

Taking advantage of your momentary loss of composure, the curse lunges at you. You just manage to block the blunt of the attack, still getting a small scrape on your cheek in the process. You curse.

Another two minutes pass by and you’re finally able to dispose of the second level two. Immediately, the air in the building seems lighter, and you know you’ve cleared all the required curses and purified the space. Breathing a sigh of relief you head towards the exit, ready to be clear of this building once and for all. 

As soon as you step outside, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, signalling that you’re getting a call. Thinking it to be Yuuji, you don’t even bother checking the caller id before answering right away.

“Hello?” You say, just as you hear the door fall shut behind you.

“(Y/n)! So glad you answered on the first ring,” the voice of your personal teacher and trainer, Gojo Satoru answers in a chipper voice. “Listen, I have some news for you.”

“Listen, teach, if you’re just gonna tell me about the mochi you bought today-“

“Ryomen Sukuna has been released,” he cuts you off, and you can only freeze in your tracks as your breath hitches in your throat. “We currently have control of his vessel.”

“What happened?” You ask, steadying yourself with your back against the side of the building you’ve just exited.

“Ah, nothing to worry about, nothing to worry about,” Gojo assures you. “We had it under control.”

“We?” Your brow quirks slightly even though he can’t see it.

“Yeah, Fushiguro and I,” he replies. “Well, it was mainly me, but who’s keeping score?” You can faintly hear grumbling in the background and then a chuckle from Gojo. “Anyways, best return to campus as soon as possible.”

“I can’t,” comes your immediate response.

There’s silence for a moment until, “and why’s that?”

“I have to go visit Yuuji,” you bring a hand up to rub at your temples. This conversation is giving you a headache.

“You mentioned he lives near Sendai, correct?” Gojo inquires.

“That’s correct,” you confirm, “why?”

“The incident was near there, so you can’t come, it’s not safe for you,” he explains.

You scoff, “since when have you ever been concerned for my safety?”

“I’m offended,” he feigns hurt. “As your teacher, I’m always concerned for your safety.”

“Bullshit,” you huff, rolling your eyes. “Anyways, that’s all the more reason I should go and see him. Now I have two reasons to make sure he’s okay.”

You hear a deep sigh on the other end before Gojo is speaking once more, “listen, (Y/n), you know I’m not usually one to be a stickler for rules and such, and I hate enforcing things, but I’m going to need you to get back to campus and wait in your dorm until I come get you.”

“But-“

“That’s an order,” his voice is firm, and you know that there’s no arguing with him once he’s made up his mind.

“Fine,” you sigh, pushing yourself off of the wall in order to head to the train station. “Will you at least tell me the name of Sukuna’s vessel?”

“All in due time,” he says, sounding too cheerful for the current events which have just taken place this evening. “See you back at the academy!”

Without another word, the line goes dead and you know he’s ended the call to avoid answering any more of your questions.

Letting out another sigh, you tuck your phone away in your pocket. You sent a quick text to Yuuji beforehand, just explaining that something came up and you’re still thinking of him during this time. You hope you can see him soon.

The ride back to campus is spent thinking about the effects of Sukuna now being released. You know the elders will probably fight to execute whoever the poor idiot is that ingested his finger. Knowing Gojo, he’d fight against whatever the elders decide to do. You’re just hoping that whoever the idiot is that turned out to be Sukuna’s vessel is strong enough to both contain and control him.

Making it back to campus, you immediately head to your room, just as Gojo had instructed you to do. Figuring you have enough time before he comes calling, you take a quick shower, washing off the dirt and grime from the events of this evening. Once done, you change into some comfortable clothes and lay down on your bed, scrolling through your phone as you wait for Gojo to appear.

It’s not until noon the next day when Gojo finally shows up at your door.

“Took you long enough, I’m starving,” you grumble, noticing he’s carrying what looks like two prepackaged lunches in his hands.

“You could have gone out for food, you know,” he chuckles, already moving to sit down in your desk chair.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I was told to ‘wait in my room and await further instructions,’” you cross your arms, allowing your door to fall shut as you return to sitting on your bed.

“Details, details,” he waves you off as you grab one of the lunches he hands you. “Anyways, I came to update my favourite student about what’s going on.”

You simply quirk a brow at him as you open your lunch, waiting for him to continue.

“Well, for starters I’ve delayed the inevitable,” he begins, to which you only give him a look. He goes on to explain that the vessel will most likely be joining the other first years in training to become a sorcerer until the proper time comes. “I’ve basically convinced the elders to allow the vessel to consume all of Sukuna’s fingers before being executed.”

“Okay, and?” You stare at him expectantly.

“Please, do hold your applause,” he grins, expression only faltering slightly when you continue to remain silent after a few moments. “Geez, tough crowd. Anyways, I thought you’d be more happy about this.”

“I only feel bad for the poor idiot who got involved in all of this,” you sigh, continuing to place food in your mouth while chewing thoughtfully.

“Oh, he’s an idiot alright,” Gojo chuckles.

“And who exactly is he?” You tilt your head slightly, looking at him expectantly.

Gojo lets out a deliberate yawn while standing up, stretching his arms above his head, “would you look at that? I’m late for a meeting with the principle. Toodles!”

Without another word, he vanishes from your room, only leaving you just as frustrated with him as you were before, with many more unanswered questions building in your mind. It’s just like him to do this to you, too. Always keeping information this important from you until you’re thrust upon a situation where you’re forced to confront the facts of the matter. You just hope that this is another one of his stupid training exercises and not him purposely avoiding telling you straight up who the vessel is. You also hope whoever the vessel is, is someone you don’t know since it’ll probably make it easier when the time comes. Still, knowing Gojo, he probably will come up with a plan to save the poor soul set for execution even after everything is said and done. If the poor boy even lives that long.

Finishing up your lunch, you decide to head towards the principle’s office. You are technically considered a first year in the university courses, so maybe you’ll have a chance to sneak a look at the vessel if you’re lucky. Besides, Gojo did mention something about Fushiguro and you meeting up with the other new first year tomorrow, so you want intel on what’s happening in regards to that.

Just as you raise your hand to knock on the principle’s door Gojo opens it as if he was expecting you. You attempt to sneak a glance past him but to no avail, only causing him to chuckle as he steps into the hallway and shuts the door behind him.

“How can I help you, my dear student?” He smiles, leaning against the now closed door.

“When are we meeting the new girl, and is the vessel accompanying us?” Your questions are direct and straight to the point.

“Ah, yes, Nobara,” Gojo nods. “Unfortunately, you won’t be accompanying us guys to meet up with her tomorrow, you have another mission to attend to.”

“Since when?” You scoff.

“Since now,” he singsongs. “Level one curse spotted at an old primary school. I would take care of it myself, but as you know, I care deeply about every single one of my students so I must be there to meet Nobara on her first day! Besides, you’re the only one I trust to do this assignment right now.”

Any protests you had soon die in your throat at his last statement. Though still ticked off you won’t get to go with them, you understand why he’s chosen you. Besides, this is your job, and you know it will help with your training.

“Fine,” you grumble, “but I still want to meet the new kids.”

“All in due time,” he waves you off with the same words he told you last night. “Now you better get planning before that curse gets too out of hand! I’ll text you the details!”

“Yeah, yeah,” this time it’s your turn to wave him off as you turn around and start walking back to your dorm to grab your stuff, muttering under your breath, “you old croon.”

The offended gasp you hear behind you is enough to drown out the sound of the principle’s door opening once more, two people stepping out to join Gojo in the hallway.

“Who’s that?” Itadori asks Gojo as they watch your retreating form disappear behind a corner.

“One of my best students,” Gojo hums proudly in response.

“Funny, she looks just like my best friend-“

“C’mon, I’ll show you to your dorm!” Gojo cuts him off before he can finish his sentence, leading him down the hallway in the opposite direction to which you disappeared in, Itadori not being able to do much else but follow close behind.

Sure enough, about twenty minutes later Gojo sends you a text with all the details you’ll need to exercise the curse tomorrow at the primary school. You plan to leave early in the morning since it’ll take you at least an hour or two to get to the location, and then another hour or two to get back. You also want to see if you can catch the guys before they leave, see if you can introduce yourself to one of the two newbies at least.

Unfortunately for you, it doesn’t seem like the luck of coincidence is on your side in the morning as you prepare to leave campus. Letting out a small sigh, you make your way to the train station, ready to begin your mission for the day and get it over with as soon as you can. Perhaps you can time things just right so that you get back to campus around the same time that they do. After all, this task should be a walk in the park.

Oh, how wrong you are.

Not only did it take you three hours to arrive to the primary school, but the curse, which was supposed to be one level one turned out to be two level one curses sharing the vicinity. They cornered you and you ended up getting thrown harshly against the wall, causing your whole body to ache all over once you finally managed to exercise the curses. You’re pretty sure you pulled a few muscles in the process, too, and the amount of scrapes and bruises you acquired since the other day has tripled. Damn Gojo.

Limping back to the train station, you check your phone. Speaking of your personal trainer, he’s been keeping you up to date with the newbies all throughout the day, though he keeps referring to the boy as ‘the vessel’. Furrowing your brow, you find it strange how he hasn’t told you the boy’s name yet, only making you believe that it probably is someone you know. There’s still a tiny sliver of you that’s hoping Gojo is just testing your deduction skills, but at this point, that’s probably not the case.

Sitting down in the first free seat you find, you text him back. Almost immediately you get a response, letting you know that the two newbies have just passed their first test and that you should be proud of your fellow students. You play along with his enthusiasm for the time being, being obviously sarcastic in your responses, but Gojo doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, it seems as if he’s amused by your reactions, only serving to irritate you further.

By the time you get back to campus, you’re drained. All you want to do is take a nice, warm shower, curl up in a ball on your bed and sleep. You don’t even care if you miss meeting the new students. That’s how your day is going so far. Besides, it’s getting late and they don’t seem to be back yet. There’s always tomorrow.

Except, you don’t get to meet them the next day, nor the day after that. It takes a full week before you even cross paths with Nobara, and even still, the meeting seems rushed. Luckily, you manage to properly introduce yourself to her the day after that one, but for some reason, Sukuna’s vessel just keeps eluding you. That, or someone is purposely keeping the two of you apart. It’s not until two weeks after that fateful day has passed that you finally get your answer.

The three first years have been tasked with handling a few curses at a juvenile detention centre while you accompany Gojo on one of his missions at the same time. You’re getting real tired of his antics, every time you ask him about the boy who’s Sukuna’s vessel he answers you either cryptically, or changes the subject. The worst is when he ignores your inquiries all together. You’re hoping to get some information out of him this evening though, otherwise you might just sneak over to ‘see’ Megumi one day and actually go to see his neighbour who just so happens to be the vessel.

Another reason why you’re in a bit of a grumpy mood recently is that Yuuji seems to be distancing himself from you. Your conversations are very dry as of late, and he doesn’t seem to want to tell you what’s going on in his life. There’s even been a few day where you’ve tried to sneak away to go visit him, but each time, Gojo has stopped you in some way or other. You’re convinced he’s hiding something, but you don’t want to accept the reality he’s been presenting to you as of late.

“(Y/n), I need you to focus,” Gojo snaps his fingers in front of your face, successfully startling you back to reality.

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” you blink a few times to clear your head, needing to focus since this is a serious task for the both of you.

“Everything okay?” He asks, the two of you now continuing to move through the labyrinth laid out before you, having yet to stumble upon any one of the four special grade curses you’re supposed to be exercising.

“Just fine,” you sigh before muttering out, “it’s not like I’m going to get answers anyways.”

“Now, now, you don’t know that for sure,” he grins, hands in his pockets as he walks beside you nonchalantly.

“Considering every time I bring up the new guy you avoid the topic, I’d say, yeah,” you peek around the corner before confirming the hallway is clear, turning back to face Gojo who already seems to be looking at you amusedly, “I do know.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t figured it out yet,” he hums.

“There’s not much to go on,” you reply.

“Oh, I believe there’s plenty,”

“Yeah, well, that’s cause you already know everything there is to know about this subject,” you huff.

“Oh, you flatter me so,” he chuckles, only causing you to roll your eyes at him in exasperation.

“Well, I suppose there is one question I have for you, teach,” you start to say, until you finally come across one of the special grade curses. 

The two of you quickly press your backs against the wall, preparing to attack. Gojo gives you the go ahead to attack first, and you do, using his quick distraction of walking out and gaining the curse’s attention to sneak up on it and destroy it. No more than two minutes pass and you’ve succeeded.

“What’s the question?” Gojo calls your attention back to him as you both continue on through the hallway.

“On the day he was released, I felt a sudden wave of specialized curse energy ripple through me, almost as if there had been a part of it dormant that had suddenly been awoken,” you say, turning to look at his face in order to gage his reaction. “Is that normal, considering how far I was from the main site?”

“Hmm,” he brings a hand up to cup his chin in his fingers, contemplating the new information you’ve provided him. He only wishes you would have told him sooner. “Considering the distance and Sukuna’s total power, it’s not that surprising.” You let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. “However, since at the time it was only one-twentieth of his power over that great of a distance, that is very odd. Considering that you know our reputation with strangeness in this trade, this makes it even stranger. Has it happened at any other point in time after that?”

Your brow furrows as you contemplate his question. “Actually, yeah, now that I think about it. I think it was a day or two after the initial release.”

“Huh, interesting,” he hums once more, a slight frown pulling at his lips as he considers what this means. Looks like his original hunch was correct as both these surges you’ve felt correspond with Itadori ingesting one of Sukuna’s fingers.

“What, exactly, is interesting?” You stare at him expectantly.

“Nothing you need to worry yourself with for the time being,” he assures you, just as another one of the special grade curses jumps out at the two of you. In an instant, Gojo has eliminated the threat, neither of you faltering in your steps down the hall.

“You know, sometimes I swear you take the phrase ‘having blind faith’ too seriously,” you let out a long breath.

He laughs at this, “what makes you say that?”

You just raise a brow at him in response, the look on your face enough to convey your thoughts. He laughs once more.

“Nothing wrong with having a little faith in me, you know,” he jokes as you two near the centre of the building where you can feel major curse energy pouring out.

You say nothing, opting to shake your head at him in response as you ready yourselves to enter the main room. Slowly opening the doors, you walk in, the two of you scanning the room for either of the final two curses that have still yet to show themselves. 

All is silent for a few moments until you feel a pang reverberate through you, the familiar feeling of specialized curse energy flowing throughout your whole being. Your eyes widen as this one far exceeded the power of the first two.

“Hey, uh, teach?” Gojo pauses mid-step as he observes you, hearing the uncertainty in your voice. “It just happened again.”

As soon as those words leave your lips, the final two curses you’ve been hunting for pop out of nowhere and attack the both of you. The one closest to you manages to knock you into Gojo, him steadying you as the two curses near the both of you to attack.

“(Y/n), I’m sending you to where the first years are, I have a bad feeling something terrible has happened,” he says lowly in your ear.

“What? Right now?” You don’t even have time to look at him incredulously as you both jump in opposite directions to avoid the attacks of the curses.

“Right now,” he confirms. “Don’t worry about me, I can handle these two clowns.”

The curses growl at him as he says those words, with him managing to split one of them in half in the next moment.

“I wasn’t,” you reply, unamused.

“Well, best hurry, wouldn’t want Sukuna wrecking havoc,” he grins at you and something clicks in your mind.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you growl. “At least tell me the name of his vessel!”

“You already know it,” is the last thing you hear before your vision shifts, you now standing on a path outside in an unfamiliar area.

You mentally curse him as you collect your bearings, noticing Megumi standing across from you, facing towards you as another man stands between the two of you with his back turned to you. You’d recognize that back anywhere, not to mention the hair. Now you’re really mentally cursing your teacher.

You remain still, noticing how Megumi darts his gaze over to you as if to tell you not to move. Assessing the situation, you begin to plot your best course of action as you see drops of blood dripping onto the ground near Sukuna’s feet. A quick scope of the area has your eyes widening slightly, telling yourself to remain calm as you see a heart laying in the grass as if it was tossed carelessly off to the side.

Of course, Sukuna felt your presence before even bothering to turn to look at you. At the moment, he’s more focused on talking to Megumi, then he can deal with this newer secondary presence, no matter how familiar it seems. He can feel the eyes trailing over his back before he even sees them, but your voice has him halting his actions momentarily.

“Damn, Yuuji, I leave you alone for two weeks and you decide to get tattoos?” Your voice is light, playful even, despite the grim situation you know that you’ve been thrust into.

Megumi shoots you a cautious look as you both notice Sukuna tense slightly between the two of you, before standing up straighter and rolling his shoulders once. A chuckle escapes him, causing you and Megumi to share another concerned look between you both before his movements catch your eyes.

Sukuna would recognize that voice anywhere. Oh, how cruel fate can be.

Turning deliberately slow, he faces towards you, eyes roaming over your figure and nearly sending a shiver down your spine until they come to lock with yours. With a smirk on his features, he licks his lips, “(Y/n).”

[madmensideblog]

MAD MEN BOOK RECS

Happy pride/Don Draper’s fake birthday ❤️ Below the cut, I’ve listed info on my favorite Mad Men related books and a couple I haven’t read yet but I’m really looking forward to. Let me know if you check any of these out, or if you have any other recommendations! ❤️

Mad Men Carousel: The Complete Critical Companion by Matt Zoller Seitz

“Mad Men Carousel is an episode-by-episode guide to all seven seasons of AMC's Mad Men. This book collects TV and movie critic Matt Zoller Seitz’s celebrated Mad Men recaps—as featured on New York magazine's Vulture blog—for the first time, including never-before-published essays on the show’s first three seasons. Seitz’s writing digs deep into the show’s themes, performances, and filmmaking, examining complex and sometimes confounding aspects of the series. The complete series—all seven seasons and ninety-two episodes—is covered.

Each episode review also includes brief explanations of locations, events, consumer products, and scientific advancements that are important to the characters, such as P.J. Clarke’s restaurant and the old Penn Station; the inventions of the birth control pill, the Xerox machine, and the Apollo Lunar Module; the release of the Beatles’ Revolver and the Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds; and all the wars, protests, assassinations, and murders that cast a bloody pall over a chaotic decade.

Mad Men Carousel is named after an iconic moment from the show’s first-season finale, “The Wheel,” wherein Don delivers an unforgettable pitch for a new slide projector that’s centered on the idea of nostalgia: “the pain from an old wound.” This book will soothe the most ardent Mad Men fan’s nostalgia for the show. New viewers, who will want to binge-watch their way through one of the most popular TV shows in recent memory, will discover a spoiler-friendly companion to one of the most multilayered and mercurial TV shows of all time.”

A classic episode-by-episode look at the series from reviewer Matt Zoller Seitz.

The Legacy of Mad Men — Cultural History, Intermediality and American Television (Edited by Karen McNally, Jane Marcellus, Teresa Forde, and Kirsty Fairclough)

“For seven seasons, viewers worldwide watched as ad man Don Draper moved from adultery to self-discovery, secretary Peggy Olson became a take-no-prisoners businesswoman, object-of-the-gaze Joan Holloway developed a feminist consciousness, executive Roger Sterling tripped on LSD, and smarmy Pete Campbell became a surprisingly nice guy. Mad Men defined a pivotal moment for television, earning an enduring place in the medium’s history.

This edited collection examines the enduringly popular television series as Mad Men still captivates audiences and scholars in its nuanced depiction of a complex decade. This is the first book to offer an analysis of Mad Men in its entirety, exploring the cyclical and episodic structure of the long form series and investigating issues of representation, power and social change. The collection establishes the show’s legacy in televisual terms, and brings it up to date through an examination of its cultural importance in the Trump era. Aimed at scholars and interested general readers, the book illustrates the ways in which Mad Men has become a cultural marker for reflecting upon contemporary television and politics.”

This is a really beautiful collection. It was published in 2019. It’s rather expensive. (I found a used copy for much cheaper.) If you can afford it, I really, really recommend buying it. There is a pdf floating around if you know where to look though. But like I said, it’s really amazing work and the women who curated it deserve high praise and compensation.

A few favorite essays of mine include “Don Draper and the Enduring Appeal of Antonioni’s La Notte” by Emily Hoffman, “Mad Men’s Mid-Century Modern Times” by Zak Roman, “Mad Men and the Staging of Literature via Ken Cosgrove and His Problems” by Aaron Shapiro, and “What Jungian Psychology Can Tell Us About Don Draper’s Unexpected Embrace of Leonard in Mad Men’s Finale” by Marisa Carroll.

Mad Men and Philosophy: Nothing Is as It Seems (Edited by William Irwin, James B. South, and Rod Carveth)

“With its swirling cigarette smoke, martini lunches, skinny ties, and tight pencil skirts, Mad Men is unquestionably one of the most stylish, sexy, and irresistible shows on television. But the series becomes even more absorbing once you dig deeper into its portrayal of the changing social and political mores of 1960s America and explore the philosophical complexities of its key characters and themes. From Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle to John Kenneth Galbraith, Milton Friedman, and Ayn Rand, Mad Men and Philosophy brings the thinking of some of history's most powerful minds to bear on the world of Don Draper and the Sterling Cooper ad agency. You'll gain insights into a host of compelling Mad Men questions and issues, including happiness, freedom, authenticity, feminism, Don Draper's identity, and more.”

This collection was published just a month before the start of season 4, so it only concerns the first three seasons of the show. As such, it includes some assumptions that are proven false and a few strange misreadings that I’m sure would’ve been cleared up had they had the rest of the show at their disposal. But there are some great philosophical insights and analysis.

I haven’t yet read the whole collection, but my favorite essay of what I’ve read so far was “Pete, Peggy, Don, and the Dialectic of Remembering and Forgetting” by John Fritz.

The Fashion File: Advice, Tips, and Inspiration from the Costume Designer of Mad Men (by costume designer Janie Bryant)

From Joanie's Marilyn Monroe-esque pencil skirts to Betty's classic Grace Kelly cupcake dresses, the clothes worn by the characters of the phenomenal Mad Men have captivated fans everywhere. Now, women are trading in their khakis for couture and their pumas for pumps. Finally, it's hip to dress well again. Emmy-Award winning costume designer Janie Bryant offers readers a peek into the dressing room of Mad Men, revealing the design process behind the various characters' looks and showing every woman how to find her own leading lady style--whether it's vintage, modern, or bohemian. Bryant's book will peek into the dressing room of Mad Men and reveal the design process behind the various characters' looks. But it will also help women learn how fashion can help convey their personality. She will help them cultivate their style, including all the details that make a big difference. Bryant offers advice to ensure that a woman's clothes convey her personality. She covers everything from where to find incredible vintage clothing and accessories to how to pair those authentic pieces with modern shoes and jeans. Readers will learn how to find their perfect bra size, use color to convey a mood, and invest in the ten essentials every woman should own. And just so the ladies don't leave their men behind, there's even a section on making them look a little more Don Draper-dashing.

I recently ordered a used copy of this book and haven’t yet received it, but I’m very much looking forward to it. Like Mad Men and Philosophy listed above, it was published between season 3 and 4, so unfortunately does not cover the whole show. It sounds like it might just cover the women’s costume design, though I’m not sure. Janie Bryant is such a meticulous, genius costume designer that I can’t wait to read it. Relatedly, you should follow her incredible costume design instagram where she posts lots of her work from Mad Men and other shows with fascinating insight into her process.

The Universe is Indifferent: Theology, Philosophy, and Mad Men (Edited by Ann W. Duncan and Jacob L. Goodson)

Centered on the lives of the employees at a Manhattan advertising firm, the television series Mad Men touches on the advertising world's unique interests in consumerist culture, materialistic desire, and the role of deception in Western capitalism. While this essay collection has a decidedly socio-historical focus, the authors use this as the starting point for philosophical, religious, and theological reflection, showing how Mad Men reveals deep truths concerning the social trends of the 1960s and deserves a significant amount of scholarly consideration. Going beyond mere reflection, the authors make deeper inquiries into what these trends say about American cultural habits, the business world within Western capitalism, and the rapid social changes that occurred during this period. From the staid and conventional early seasons to the war, assassinations, riots, and counterculture of later seasons, The Universe is Indifferent shows how social change underpins the interpersonal dramas of the characters in Mad Men.

I only just found out about this collection, but I’m very interested in finding a copy. This was published in 2016. You can see the table of contents here. EDIT: This book is available to read on Scribd. They offer a 30 day free trial.