#the amount of shit i have in as 'b level work'

[acesammy]

i'm so mad that i can do 'B level work' on assignments in this class and still get zeros on the assignments

[mediumgayitalian]

“You ready, Lou?”

“Duh.”

“Cecil? You’ve got full faith in your cabin?”

“Yep.”

“What about you, Will? Were your threats successful?”

“My bribes went wonderfully, thank you.”

“Then I think we’re a go.”

“Gods, this is going to be great.”

———

Knockknockknock.

Nico locks in on his game. He is so, so close to finally making it through this stupid quest, he can feel it, and if he doesn’t beat The Imprisoned before Percy he’s going to set the camp on fire.

Knockknockknock.

“Just — hold on a second!” He spams B, cursing loudly to himself, ignoring the twinge in his lower back from holding this position for so long. “Fuck, fuck, come on.” He clenches his teeth, knuckles white against the Wii remote, until finally — the boss falls. He cheers.

Fuck yes. Take that, Percy.

Tossing the remote on his bed, he jogs over to the door, sliding open the three bolts and unlocking the chains. On his porch is a blur of movement, hair frizzy and pulled-on, shirt rumbled.

“Oh, hey, Annabeth.”

She barely acknowledges him, focusing intently on pacing back and forth on the stone porch at the speed of light. He settles against the door frame, stretching out his spine, watching her mutter to herself.

“Chiron is leaving,” she says.

Nico raises an amused eyebrow. “I am aware.”

“With Mr. D. To some conference.”

“I heard.”

“He’s gone until early tomorrow evening.”

“Uh-huh.”

“He left me in charge.”

“Probably wise.”

“I need an allegiance, Nico.”

“Slow down and tell me what you mean, first.”

She sighs, coming to a stop in front of him. Her fingers still drum across her biceps, and her eyes dart around, evaluating. Her teeth dig into her bottom lip.

“Camp’s a lot of work,” she says finally. “I’ve never been in charge of so many people at once before, and like hell am I gonna let Chiron think I can’t handle it. I have a Plan, and you’re a part of it.”

Nico resists the urge to groan. Chiron leaving is supposed to mean he gets the next day or so off — no classes, no socializing, nothing. Just him in his cabin and the genuinely disgusting amount of junk food he has amassed.

(…And Will. Maybe.)

“It’s nothing crazy,” she promises. “I just need you to lurk.”

“…Lurk?”

“Yeah, you know. Chill in the shadows and scare people into complacency. You don’t even need to do much, just that thing where you stare at people like you know the exact day they’re going to die.”

“I do love lurking,” Nico admits. And to basically have a free pass to scare the shit out of whoever he wants… “I’ll do it.”

She smiles brightly. “Thanks, Nico! I knew I could count on you. I’ll meet up with you right after Chiron heads out, okay? To give you a list of people to keep your eye on.”

“Sure. Bye, Annabeth.”

“See ya!”

He closes the door and pads back to his setup, shaking the remote to get it going again. He can’t quite shake the smirk off his face.

The next twenty four hours are going to rock.

———

“Swiper No Swiping, initiate phase one.”

“Roger that, Sunny Dick.”

“…I’m revoking your code name priveledges.”

“No no no, I’m sorry, I’ll change it.”

———

Before Chiron leaves, he gathers them all in the amphitheatre.

“Children,” he calls, adjusting the bow slung across his back. “I am leaving now for my conference. I will be back before the sun sets tomorrow.” He gestures towards Annabeth, standing stiffly beside him. “Annabeth is in charge. Consider all my authority transferred to her before I return, am I understood?”

“Yes, Chiron,” courses the camp, some with significantly more attitude than others. Across the gathered crowd, Will catches his eye and winks. (Well, tries to. He has yet to catch on to the fact that he cannot, actually, wink, and instead just blinks really intentionally. Kayla and Austin have sworn him to secrecy.) Nico rolls his eyes, ears burning, and looks away.

“Good. Regular rules; no maiming, killing, or injuries above level seven. Any arson will result in a revoking of dessert privileges. Yes, Julia, even if you help in putting out the arson. It is the fire that is the issue, you understand. Excellent.” He claps his hands together. “I am looking forward to one day of peace. Try to avoid ruining it for me too quickly. Goodbye, children.”

With a wave and a fond squeeze of Annabeth’s shoulder, he trots over to Half-Blood Hill, ignoring Mr. D’s loud complaining about how long he took. With a snap of Mr. D’s fingers, they disappear. For a brief, uncanny moment, everything is still.

“Alright,” Annabeth shouts, clapping her hands together. Nico jumps. “Dinner is in an hour. Whoever is the first to fuck something up will be doing dishes. I will be watching. Dismissed.”

Wading through the swathes of ambling teenagers, she walks by where Nico is leaning against a pillar, half-hidden in the shadows.

“Lurk,” she orders, passing him.

Nico shoots her a mocking salute, fading into the shadow behind him. He barely catches her grin before he dissolves into the darkness.

———

“Phase two in effect. Ready to go, Sabrina Spellman?”

“Prepped to go, Teletubbies Sun Baby.”

“I hate both of you.”

———

“Halt!”

Across the common, three suspicious figures freeze, glance behind them, and then resume walking as casually as they can.

“I said halt! Do not move! Cease all function!”

Milling nervously towards each other, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest pause, shifting the three massive cardboard boxes they hold each.

“Hi, Annabeth,” Will says, smiling innocently. Cecil and Lou Ellen match him, eyes wide, expressions angelic.

Annabeth stomps over to them, fists clenched at her sides, entirely unmoved by the cherubic display in front of her. Nico stays right where he is, hidden by the shade of Cabin Eight.

“Explain yourselves,” Annabeth orders.

The three stooges exchange a look.

“Whatever do you mean,” Lou Ellen asks, shifting the boxes to free up her hand only to place it delicately over her chest. “Why, we are only helping our dear friend William —”

“Our dear, dear friend,” Cecil adds.

“— carry these many boxes of medical supplies, so as to lower his great burden —”

“Massive burden,” Will says sagely.

“— and free up his evening in order for him to spend his limited time with us, his most cherished friends.”

“Especially cherished,” Will and Cecil chorus together.

Unable to bite back a smile, Nico rolls his eyes so hard his skull hurts. They’re not even trying to not get caught, at this point. Idiots.

Clearly agreeing, Annabeth scoffs. “Yeah, right. Boxes down, all three of you. You’re being detained for suspected illicit substances.”

“Annabeth!” Will cries, hand to his chest, “after all I do for this camp, you would accuse me of being — illicit?! Me?! The outrage! The insult! The impugn, the —”

“Can it, Solace. Open the boxes.”

Huffing in perfect unison, the three of them carefully lower their boxes to the ground.

“Tape off.”

Intentionally slowly, they run a nail along the edge of the packing tape.

“Flaps open, guys, c’mon.”

With flourish, the trio fling open the thin cardboard panels. Inside each box is rows of bandages, packaged syringes, sterile bands, tongue compresses, and more that Nico can’t name. Annabeth glares at the boxes with perhaps more disdain than the situation calls for.

Then again.

It is camp.

“See?” says Cecil, gesturing grandly. “The shipment just came in from my dad.”

Like a hound dog locking in on a bleeding squirrel, Annabeth’s eyes narrow. Her lips spread into wide, frankly maniacal smirk.

“Your dad is in a conference with the rest of the Olympians right now, Markowitz.”

Caught.

“Well,” Cecil says, and then nothing else.

“He meant it in the royal sense,” Lou Ellen pipes up in his silence. Cecil nods frantically. “You know, ‘just’ as in, like, recently, as in this morning —”

“Do you three think I’m stupid.”

“It’s just medical supplies! You can look through them if you want —”

Even if they weren’t acting like criminals, Nico knows his friends. He knows his boyfriend, especially, and recognises that damn look on his face. He can also physically see Annabeth’s stress ulcer coming back.

Closing his eyes, Nico fades into Cabin Six’s shadow. It’s a quick jump, so the stretch is easy, and the darkness bows easily to his hold. He reappears silently behind the group, taking advantage of the setting sun, and darts out to grip Lou Ellen’s arm.

“Boo,” he whispers.

She shrieks at the top of her lungs, jumping three clean feet in the air. Coincidently, the boxes of medical supplies flicker, turning into a truly baffling amount of instant mashed potato boxes.

“I knew it!” Annabeth shouts.

On cue, all three doofuses turn to Nico, jeering and complaining about ‘ruining the fun’. Nico’s glare is ineffective on Doofus #1, but the other two can be cowed. He focuses on channelling the flames of hell to reflect in his eyes like his father showed him until they look away, muttering at the ground.

“We still don’t have any illicit substances,” Will insists, glaring right back. Nico sticks out his tongue. He crosses his eyes like a four year old. How immature, honestly. “So we’re just gonna take our stuff and —”

“Absolutely not, Golden Boy. Put that hand away.”

Wisely, Will draws slowly back from the boxes, tucking his hands in his pocket.

Annabeth stares, hard, at the three of them, flicking her dark eyes from the potatoes and back. The tips of her worn-out converse tap slowly on the packed grass, tip-tap-tip-tap, as they all squirm.

Understanding dawns on her quickly.

“It’s supposed to rain tomorrow, for the strawberry plants.”

They squirm harder.

“Oh, you godsdamn bitches.”

“It would’ve been really funny,” Cecil mumbles, staring at the ground. “Rain making the ground turn into a sea of mashed potatoes. Like Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs.”

“The only meatballs around here are the ones clogging up your skull!” Annabeth shouts, which doesn’t quite make sense but sounds clever coming from her anyway. “Who was gonna clean that up, huh? Magic?”

“I mean, probably,” Lou Ellen says, promptly shutting up at Annabeth’s glare.

“And you, Will! I cannot believe! Where is that responsibility you’re known for, huh?”

Will pouts. “I can be responsible and do fun things.”

“Fun, he says. I’m going to fucking kill you, how’s that for fun. The one day I’m left in charge, I cannot believe —”

“If it helps, it’s less about you and more about April Fools being tomorrow,” Cecil interjects tentatively. “Like, we were going to do this whether or not Chiron left.”

Annabeth glares darkly. “Of fucking course you were. It’s always you three, I swear to the gods. I should have known.”

“It’s honestly kind of embarrassing for you guys,” Nico adds. He smiles smugly at them, relishing in their rolled eyes and mocking hands. “Like, everyone expected this. You did this to yourselves, honestly.”

“Boo, you jag,” Lou Ellen protests. The other two knuckleheads joint in the booing, Will taking it an extra stop forward and blowing a raspberry, both thumbs pointing down. Nico responds with a wide grin and two middle fingers.

“Enough,” Annabeth says, rubbing her temples. “Extra chores, all three of you. Go help the cleaning harpies until sundown. And not another peep of complaint or I’ll have you on chores tomorrow, too.”

Without another glance at them, she turns around and walks away, muttering at least you caught it early at least you caught it early at least you caught it early over and over to herself.

“Pretty sure you guys have physical labour to do,” Nico says brightly when she disappears into the Big House. “I’d get started on that, if I were you.”

“Butthead,” Cecil mutters.

“Kiss-ass,” Lou Ellen agrees, making a face.

“Traitor,” Will whispers, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he walks past.

Nico watches them go, standing guard over the boxes in case they try to come back for them.

He can’t help but think that they all look a little too jovial for having their plans ruined before they even started.

———

“Is he still looking?”

“No.”

“Okay, Phase Three, let’s go let’s go let’s go —”

———

Every time Nico wakes with the sun, he sets aside twenty minutes of his morning routine to curse Apollo, his father, Apollo again, Phanes, and Prometheus. In that order.

He does like the bonus of getting breakfast. Usually he sleeps through it and has to hope Will saved him coffee cake, which he does, every time, because he wants to bribe his way into Nico’s affections. But there is something to be said about camp coffee cake when it is still warm, crumbly on the top and soft on the inside. It is a rare and occasionally worth-it treat, and on his bleary walk to the dining pavilion, Nico tries to keep this in the forefront of his mind. Fresh coffee cake. Fresh coffee. Fresh fruit. And Will, probably, not that seeing him is worth getting up early or anything. (So what that he gets all excited and energetic when he sees Nico up in the morning. If anything it’s embarrassing for him.)

For once, he’s actually early enough that there are very few people already at breakfast. He sees most of the Athena kids, still half-asleep over their mugs, and pretty much every camper under the age of eleven. A few head counsellors, too, watching out for the little ones or catching up on a rare moment of quiet. Nico makes a beeline for the breakfast spread, cutting a slice of coffee cake to leave on the platter and putting the rest of it on his plate. He puts a single strawberry in the middle of it so no one can accuse him of being unhealthy, then ambles over to the Apollo table.

“Neeks? Where’re you going?”

Nico pauses. He shifts his plate to one hand, rubbing at his bleary eyes. He looks at the Apollo table. He counts one, two, three heads — Kayla, Austin, and…Cecil?

“Nico? You good, babes?”

He turns, slowly, to face the voice. Picking at a plate full of pineapple, next to Reika Onason, Lou Ellen's sister, is Will.

“I know mornings are hard for you, but you’re meant to eat at your table,” he teases. “Come sit, doofus. Unless you’re taking advantage of Chiron’s absence to make friends elsewhere, I guess, but it seems unlike you.”

“You’re — what’re you — what?“ Nico says dumbly, struggling to reconcile the imagine in front of him.

For some reason, Will is eating his breakfast at the Hecate table.

And that is not all.

For some reason, his camp shirt does not say head medic. For some reason, he is wearing black jeans. For some reason, dozens of Celestial bronze rings adorn his fingers, carved with sigils. For some reason, his hair is clipped back, and there is black eyeliner around his bright blue eyes, and his nails are painted darker than Nico’s, and he is sitting at the Hecate table.

“What are you doing?”

“Having…breakfast,” Will says slowly. His lips turn down in concern. “Nico, are you okay?”

“I’m fine! It’s — you’re the one acting weird!”

Will and Reika exchange a look.

“Maybe you should go see Cecil,” Will suggests carefully. “Did you sleep okay last night? Maybe you hit your head —”

Nico looks desperately back at the Apollo table. They watch him strangely now, too, and after a second Cecil gets up from his — Will’s — seat, and walks over.

“Everything okay?” he asks, impish expression almost serious. “You look pale, Nico.”

“I’m worried,” Will says. “He’s acting — confused, Cece, maybe there’s a —”

“I’m not confused,” Nico scowls. “You two are — doing something.” He gestures vaguely between them. “As revenge for yesterday.”

Will snorts. “What, the potatoes? Don’t let Lou hear you discredit her like that. If you think she’d plan some revenge prank on you this early, you don’t know her at all.”

Nico’s head starts to hurt. He sets down his plate, rubbing his temples. Why would Lou Ellen be so bothered by that? Why isn’t she here, with her sister? What the hell is going on?

“Both of you — cut it out. Whatever dumbass prank you’re pulling is just stupid.”

“Did I hear something about a prank?” Bounding over from the camp store, arms laden with contraband junk food, is Lou Ellen, smiling brightly. “Whatever it is, I want in!”

“Oh, thank the gods, you’re back.” Will makes grabby hands at the pile. She tosses him a pack of twizzlers off the top, rolling her eyes as he tears into like he didn’t just polish off two and a half entire pineapples and three bowls of oatmeal. “I was going through withdrawal.”

“I’m not helping you when your stomach cramps up,” Cecil promises, snorting. His eyes follow the candy ropes in their harried journey towards Will's gaping maw. “You can sit in your misery.”

“Bleh bleh bleh.”

Nico narrows his eyes at them. Clearly, they’re all in on this — bit, or whatever it is. It’s a little too coordinated to be a quickly-planned revenge prank. They must have had a backup to the potatoes, although a pretty weak one. Unless they somehow managed to bribe the entire camp into agreeing to act along with their dumbassery, and Nico knows none of them can come even close to affording that, then all it takes is one person on Nico’s side before their little ruse is broken.

“It’s too early for this,” Nico says, interrupting their bickering. He picks up his breakfast and trudges off to his actual table, ignoring Will’s pouting. He has to brush the dust off the bench, but it’s worth it to avoid whatever headache the three of them will inevitably give him.

Coffee cake, save him.

———

“It’s not looking good, Katara —”

“I actually like that one.”

“— he’s totally onto us.”

“Just stick to the plan. Power onto Phase Four.”

———

To Nico's great satisfaction, many other people do double takes as they walk into breakfast.

As the Athena table, minus Annabeth, who is likely putting out a literal or metaphorical fire somewhere, wakes up, they start to notice the strange seating situation. It starts with Malcolm, who stares at Cecil in a lab coat with the same expression Nico has seen him wear when attempting to solve the Hodge conjecture. He leans over to murmur something in his brother’s ear, and then all seven of them are looking between the Hecate, Apollo, and mostly-empty Hermes tables with suspicious frowns and furrowed brows.

Nico catches Will’s eye, smirking.

Game’s up, he mouths. Will only shrugs innocently at him.

It’s Annabeth who finally puts a stop to the nonsense, striding in at the tail end of the rest of the slowly-waking crowd. She has grass in her hair and murder in her eyes.

Excellent.

“I swear to the gods, I just dealt with you three,” she snaps, raising her voice so they all can hear her. Coincidentally, it attracts the attention of every other nosy person at camp, which is everybody. “Just ‘cause Chiron’s not here doesn’t mean the rules go out the window. Back to your tables, let’s move.”

“We’re at our tables,” Cecil protests. “Why do people keep saying that?”

Annabeth takes a very deep, very long breath. She has a whole day of this, too. How unfortunate for her.

“Maybe because you are full of shit, Markowitz. Go sit with the rest of you troublemakers.”

Kayla clears her throat. “Annabeth, I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” Her thin eyebrows are drawn tightly together, lips turned down into a frown. “Cecil is exactly where he’s supposed to be.”

That gives her pause.

That gives a lot of people pause. Nico sets down his coffee cake.

“Cecil’s at the Apollo table,” Annabeth says slowly.

Kayla meets her gaze, face creased in concern. “...Yeah, I know.”

“Cecil is a Hermes kid, Kayla.”

She snorts. “Yeah, sometimes I think so, too. But as much as I would absolutely love to trade my brother —”

“Hey!”

“He’s a healer, Annabeth. He got claimed and everything.”

“I don’t have time for this,” Annabeth says, dragging her hand down her face. “Kayla, I don’t know what they paid you —”

“Oh, for goodness’ sake.” With a clatter of plates, Will clambers on the table, clapping his hands. “Your attention please, everyone!”

Without so much as a pause, Will claps his hands together. Immediately, a ball of green light expands from them, flashing almost too bright to look at. Nico watches, slack jawed, as he tosses it into the air, making it explode into a thousand little sparkles, descending gently over everyone’s heads. The little kids laugh in delight, reaching for them like they’re bubbles.

“Does that settle things?” he demands.

Silence rings for one, two, three seconds.

The camp erupts.

Dozens of voices overlap, all shouting over each other at once. Hands gesture wildly at Will, at Cecil, at Lou — trying to piece things together. Will is their head medic — isn’t he? Then why is Cecil wearing scrubs? And why is Lou chilling at the Hermes’ table, chatting with Julia over a bowl of cereal? Something isn’t right.

“Just — everybody quiet!”

It takes a minute, but everyone settles down, sitting back in their seats and fidgeting, looking around with half-confused, half-amused smiles. Like they’re laughing at a joke they’re half convinced is real.

“Who thinks this —” Annabeth makes some vaguely indicative movement at Will, Lou, and Cecil — “is weird? Raise your hand.”

Almost all hands go up. Only a handful stay down — Will, Lou Ellen, and Cecil, of course, but the entirety of the Hermes cabin stays oddly silent, as do Kayla, Austin, Reika, and, shockingly, Clovis.

“Stoll,” Nico demands before Annabeth gets the chance, “you’re buying this?”

“Buying what?” Connor says after a moment. He shrugs, eyes twinkling in amusement. “I’m just chillin’ with my sister, Nico. Cecil is great, but he hasn’t been in our cabin since he got claimed.”

The rest of the Hermes kids nod in agreement. Whispers filter through the tables — first Kayla, now all the Hermes kids?

“If I may,” interjects Clovis, yawning. “There’s an…energy, around.”

“Gods, yeah, I was feeling it too,” Will agrees frantically. “Almost a…blanket, of some kind. Something heavy and stifling.”

Malcolm looks over with interest. “You think we got cursed, or something? The whole camp?”

Will shrugs. “Maybe? Can’t think of any other reason you guys are remembering things weird.”

“It could be a god’s interference,” Nyssa suggests, raising her voice to be heard from the Hephaestus table. “I mean, that’s what happened to Jason and Leo and Piper, right? Their memories got fudged.”

“Yeah, but camp-wide…”

“Could still be possible.”

“There’s no way! They’re fucking with us, come on —”

It doesn’t take long for the arguing to start up again. This time, though, more people looked spooked — more people look to the dumbass trio themselves, eyes wide like they’re looking at ghosts.

Like they’re believing this shit.

Nico scowls, shoving away from his table and stomping over to his boyfriend.

“You are so full of shit I can smell you from across the room,” he says, raising his voice to be heard over the noise.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” He wiggles his fingers in Nico’s direction. They spark with the same green light. “Want me to switch your eyes and ears again?”

That sounds horrifying. “Try it and die.”

“Alright, grouchy.” He holds his hands up, stepping back from Nico’s glare. “I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

Alarm bells go off in Nico’s head. This is more than just strange, it’s wrong. And not just ‘cause he looks different — so what if he looks different. Will could shave his head bald and tattoo himself purple, Nico wouldn’t care.

But his aura.

The essence of Will, that Nico has grown so used to be stopped noticing. The quiet, warmth strength, the feeling of a soft breeze in the summer, of walking past a window in the late afternoon, of smokey August campfires and scratchy guitar, is gone. Is different, rather; almost blocked. It feels like a cloud blowing over the sun, making everything warped and off and shadowy.

Something is afoot. Something is wrong, and not just some vague, made-up spell like the Trickster Trio would have the camp believe. Something like smoke and mirrors, something shadier.

He watches Will fall into step next to Cecil, ducking away from his ruffling hand. He frowns.

If there’s one thing Nico can do, it’s wade through the shadows.

———

next

[maespri]

your turn to die characters ranked by how painful their death was (and why)

okay. crazy title, i KNOW. but this was actually so interesting to talk and think about. at least for me.

spoilers ahead, and TRIGGER WARNING. this post is going to go into detail about each death. it’s going to get gory and upsetting. if you don’t think you can handle hearing about that, please keep scrolling!

everything is under the cut, because this post is LONG, i'm warning you now.

some backstory: i have a special interest in anatomy and physiology, and i've always thought about how the different deaths in your turn to die worked. my wonderful friend @lovivelle and i talked about this topic extensively last night and they made this tier list with me! so, here's the ranking and explanations!

this ranking ONLY covers HUMAN deaths, because dolls/dummies do not feel pain.

quick glossary: exsanguination: death caused by bleeding out hemorrhaging: bleeding necrosis: cell/tissue death hypoxia: inadequate oxygen supply hypovolemic: loss of fluid in the body, often referring to blood or water shock: life-threatening condition where the body does not have enough blood circulating through it crush syndrome: medical condition where skeletal muscle is crushed for a prolonged time, resulting in shock and organ failure hematemesis: vomiting up blood hemoptysis: coughing up blood TBI: traumatic brain injury immolation: death by burning; being burned alive

the tier list:

OUCH!! (most painful):

nao: nao's death involves her ribcage being crushed. i put her at number one for what i hope are obvious reasons. for starters, her death is drawn-out, making the pain last even longer. while her ribcage is being crushed, any internal organs are being crushed as well. her bones are probably splintering and breaking off and piercing her insides and organs. overall... just horrible pain. official cause of death: internal hemorrhaging and irreparable damage to organs.

kurumada: kurumada's death involved being crushed (between two walls), which is similar to nao's. i would put their pain levels as being equal to each other, but kurumada's has the potential to have been less painful than nao's, because we don't know how quickly the walls crushed his body. if they were moving slowly, the pain would've been drawn-out and agonizing, and in that case, i would make the argument that his death was more painful than nao's. but if it was very quick, he would've just felt blinding pain in his entire body for a few seconds before it would end. we do have to keep in mind that kurumada is clearly quite muscular however, which probably provided some resistance against the walls, but only served to draw out his pain even further. official cause of death: muscle necrosis, internal hemorrhaging, and irreparable damage to internal organs due to crush syndrome.

either way, both definitely experienced, in my opinion, the most painful deaths in the game.

YOWZA! (very painful):

mishima: mishima's death results from his collar slowly heating up and burning his neck until his head disconnects from it. i don't even have the words to describe how painful this would be. the fact that the collar heats up slowly and it is drawn out only makes it worse. if you've ever burned yourself before anywhere on your body, you know how painful it is. imagine that pain centralized around your neck. mishima might have the fortune of his nerves being burned off after a certain amount of time, which would mean he wouldn't feel anything (think third-degree burns burning through to muscle, tissue, and nerve endings). but at that point, because the burning is around his neck and your neck contains- A) your spine/spinal cord and B) your trachea, which allows you to breathe- anyway and burning it in half would definitely kill you, he may be dead before he even has time to not feel any pain. either way, this shit would hurt so bad. official cause of death: cerebral hypoxia due to decapitation.

hinako: hinako technically has two deaths, but we ranked her based off of her being drilled. a lot of questions actually arose when my friend and i were talking about the drill deaths, because we don't know the speed at which the drills move. i mean, whether they're moving quickly or slowly, it would still obviously hurt- but the faster the drill, the quicker the death, which would make it less painful. being drilled would be unbearably painful for the sole fact that she might be alive for a lot of the drilling until it reaches any vital organs. no matter what, it'd be very painful. official cause of death: hard to say for certain, but would most likely be from exsanguination... y'know, from her body being split in half by a giant drill.

kugie (kanna's sister): my friend and i were FLOORED when we looked into kugie's death. in the game, i don't think we get a canonical answer specifically as to how she dies, but in the manga, we do. kugie and kanna have the same first trial as joe and sara, but they don't succeed. in it, kugie's bed literally snaps and essentially folds her in half. in the image from the manga, we can see blood flying out from the bed (implying it happened very quickly, because if it were slow, the blood would instead drip and flow), and kugie's hand sticking out between the two slabs of the bed. i think this death is the most painful out of the entire "YOWZA!" category because kugie was probably alive and in immense pain for at least a few seconds or even minutes after the bed snapped. if i had to speculate official cause(s) of death:

i would guess her lumbar vertebrae (basically the bottom discs of the spine) and spinal cord snapped, cutting off sensation and sending her into shock.

if she was folded in half, her legs would have quickly shot up, meaning her torso was likely unnaturally slammed into by both them and the bed, and sustained massive trauma. this would cause internal hemorrhaging and damage to her organs.

the blood spurting out of the bed was likely from her head. i'm a teenage girl, likely the same height or around the same height as kugie, and when i bend in half, my face is level with my knees. knowing this, her knees probably slammed into her face and broke her skull, causing a TBI.

the combination of all of that would have first caused terrible pain for, like i said, at least a few seconds or minutes- we don't see how extensive the damage really was, so i can't say for certain... but yeah.

aughhh (painful):

joe: joe's death is really interesting to think about, because upon first glance, you might think it's one of the most painful- but there are a few things i considered with him. his death is a result of wrigglers draining the blood out of his body. because we don't know how large the wrigglers are, i can't say how painful it would be when they enter his body- but i'd have to guess they're on the smaller side, like little tubes, because if they were big, they would have difficulty sucking out his blood due to how small blood vessels are. it would hurt horribly to have the wrigglers enter his body and drain the blood. we don't know if they moved around through his blood vessels- if they did, that would definitely exacerbate the pain- or if it was more just like getting blood drawn. but what i considered with him, the thing that makes his death less painful than the others, is the fact that he would probably pass out long before he's even fully dead. the amount of blood he's losing at such a rapid pace would first make him dizzy and disoriented before he just... passes out. his entire body would start shutting down very quickly and he wouldn't even be awake for it. his body would give up on transporting blood to the extremities and non-vital organs and shift only to transporting what little blood it can to keep vital organs running. when that blood runs out, the heart will stop being able to pump enough blood throughout the body and to the brain, and joe would actually be dead. so... yeah. official cause of death: hypovolemic shock resulting in organ failure.

shin: shin dies after being fatally injured by the death game's security system. while it's unclear exactly how the security system killed him, i believe he was stabbed/impaled somehow. there are a few questions regarding exactly where he was stabbed, but i assume he was hit somewhere in the torso because he has blood coming out of his mouth. if you don't know:

blood coming out of the mouth can be a result of haematemesis (vomiting up blood), which is where blood wells up in the stomach/digestive tract due to trauma in that area

it can also be a result of haemoptosis (coughing up blood), which results from being stabbed in the lungs/trachea due to trauma in that area

my guess is he was stabbed in the stomach, because if he were stabbed in the lungs, he'd be coughing and frothing at the mouth struggling to breathe. if i'm remembering correctly, he's also shown to be clutching his abdomen after turning on the joe AI, so... my money is definitely in the stomach.

which, you guessed it, would hurt. a lot. and there's no workaround. he's strong enough to drag himself to the rubble room and turn on an AI before dying. he would've been in blinding pain that entire time before dying.

official cause of death: exsanguination.

reko: reko technically has three canonical deaths, which made her hard to rank. i'll cover them all.

strangulation (hanging by collar): being hung is painful, but i think people underestimate how terrifying it is too. reko would have been terrified and in immense pain for a few minutes before dying. everything in her neck would be getting crushed and pressed on by the collar thanks to gravity. overall... awful death. official cause of death: cerebral hypoxia due to strangulation.

stabbed: same as what i said for shin. terrible pain for however long until she ultimately bleeds out. official cause of death: exsanguination.

fake-reko falling headfirst onto a spike: this one's... interesting! mainly because i think she would actually just be dead instantly. if the spike pierces her brain, she won't even really have time to process "ow!" before just. being dead. official cause of death: severe TBI resulting in death.

owie (painful, but not as painful as others):

q-taro: q-taro is stabbed in the back by mai and slowly bleeds to death over the course of the chapter. the reason i put him so low is because he would definitely be in some pain, but i don't think mai stabbed him very well (no offense girl). he's able to walk around, talk, and do stuff with the others after being stabbed, at least for a little while. it's difficult for me to pinpoint what exactly killed him because of this. i'd imagine his body began repairing the stab wound in his back, but ultimately, blood loss and the disruption to everything surrounding his spine (because mai stabs him in the back) is probably what killed him. depending on how deep mai's knife was, the blade may have even pierced or grazed internal organs such as q-taro's heart or a lung. his body probably put most of its focus on keeping his internal organs running whilst simultaneously trying to repair them, which tired him out over the course of the chapter, before it ultimately couldn't keep up with the amount of blood being lost. a hasty bandaging job using an office first-aid kit is not ideal for stab wounds.

*edit: this person corrected me regarding q-taro's death! i still think the severity of his injury could have killed him before the coffin cremation system actually killed him, plus the information is interesting, so i'm keeping it. but technically, being burned alive is actually what killed him. ouch.

official cause of death: exsanguination OR immolation.

kai: kai's death is kind of up in the air in terms of the specifics, but we know he kills himself during the first main game by cutting his arms. in order for this to kill him, and for him to have bled out as fast as he did, he likely cut his axillary and/or brachial artery. your brachial artery runs down the front of your bicep and is an extension of your axillary artery, which is in your upper arm/armpit. if kai cut deeply into both his brachial arteries, and/or his axillary arteries, he would bleed to death very quickly. it would be really painful, but i think adrenaline and the probability he'd pass out immediately would certainly be on his side here, making it at least a little less painful. either way, he dies quite fast, so. official cause of death: exsanguination.

uncertain (i'm not sure!):

this category is for the characters who have one or more variables that make it difficult or impossible to determine how painful their death was.

kanna: first of all, the way kanna dies is impossible in real life. lets just get that out of the way. you cannot have flowers sprout out of your body. that immediately makes it impossible to tell how painful it would be for her.

if i were to suspend my disbelief for this, however, here's what i have to say about it:

safalin says kanna is numb during her death, which would instantly give her a pain rating of zero. kanna is screaming during her death, but given what safalin says, that doesn't necessarily prove she's in pain. she could just be screaming out of fear.

if she weren't numb, yeah, she would be in a lot of pain. flowers and vines growing out of your body, poking out of your skin, running through your insides- that would hurt insanely bad.

but the fact that:

this death isn't possible in real life

kanna is presumably numb during her death

we don't specifically know how the seeds are working/moving inside her body

kind of made it impossible to rank her.

if i had to guess a cause of death, i'd guess severe disruption by the vines to her internal organs and processes is what ultimately killed her.

hayasaka: hayasaka's head is presumably cut off by a swinging axe. there are two reasons we put him in 'uncertain'; we don't know how sharp the blade of the axe is, and we don't know the velocity it's swinging at.

if the blade is swinging slowly and is very dull, it would take a few swings to fully cut off hayasaka's head, which would make it incredibly painful.

but if the blade is swinging very quickly and is super sharp, his death would be instantaneous, making it essentially painless.

so it's difficult to say, but either way:

official cause of death: decapitation.

ranmaru: ranmaru's death is in 'uncertain' because we

don't know exactly how that happened to his stomach

hear him talk about how he's numb to it

don't know how long he's been sitting there

i imagine he was in some pain and just putting up a front, but we just don't know for sure. and like i just said, we don't know what specifically killed him or how. we just see a wound in his stomach.

probable cause of death: exsanguination/hemorrhaging.

anzu: anzu's was between 'uncertain' and 'so quick.' we see spikes piercing her body, but the angle makes it difficult to tell exactly where they pierce, or how sharp they are, etc. if the spikes didn't hit her face/brain, she probably felt intense pain for some time from the neck-down before rapidly bleeding to death. if the spikes got her head, she'd die instantly. so.

probable cause of death: exsanguination? TBI? damage to internal organs/processes?

ranger: according to ranger's wiki, his human form was stabbed by an assassin. not nearly enough information to rank him with certainty.

cause of death: stabbed?

so quick (too fast to be painful):

both mai and alice's deaths were so fast, they fell into this category.

mai: mai shoots herself in the head. her death would have been immediate and painless since she shot herself in the brain.

official cause of death: fatal TBI.

alice: alice's abdomen explodes. if that happens, you're probably going to feel a very brief flash of pain before immediately dying, because the damage would be so extensive (shrapnel exploded his stomach, but there was undoubtedly collateral damage to his heart, lungs, and other organs around there). he would have been in shock if he did somehow manage to survive for a few more seconds. pain would be minimal or nonexistent in my opinion due to the sheer severity of the injury. and in terms of him being hung in chapter 3, it's the same as reko.

official cause of death: shock resulting from traumatic abdominal injury.

thats it!

if you for god knows what reason read all this, thank you! i'm honestly only posting it kind of for myself and my friend to look back on if i ever want to think about it again, but maybe someone will find it interesting.

questions, comments, concerns (of which i'm sure there are many)- i'm an open book. i'm not a professional by any means, but i am insane. bye!

[facefullofsadness]

poly!aespa comforting you

gf!aespa x reader, university!au

fluff, 1.6k wc

quite frankly, I've had a terrible ass fucking day and honestly, the thought of just collapsing into the arms of my 4 gfs is such a pleasant thing to think ab. small warning for mentions of deteriorating mental health. enjoy (I love them so much).

your classes today span from 7 am to 7 pm, coming back home, however, just before midnight, having had to work on extra assignments or what not. you were so fucking exhausted, you didn't even get good sleep last night and had to wake up early too. your girlfriends were already home, aeri and minjeong in the kitchen while yizhuo and rina cleaned the house, all of them waiting for you to come home.

you'd usually be back by 8 or 9 during these 7-7 days, but once the clock hit 10, your girls started to worry. winselle had already been done a while ago with the food and ningrina had finished cleaning by the time they all realized you hadn't come home yet. jeong immediately texted you, asking if you were okay, a worried expression on her face. the unnies felt their heart drop to their stomach imagining the worst, the two of them exchanging a look of worry. ningyi was borderline hysterical, verbalizing everything wrong that could've happened to you, which ranged from rambling ab if your phone had died or lost signal to if you had gotten into an accident on the way home or someone had taken you.

her hysteria didn't help at all and just made all of them worry even more. rina tried to be level-headed about it and give rational explanations, to which everyone agreed. but the worry didn't subside once it turned 11. they all started becoming paranoid as fuck. and so, rina texted you, aeri called you, jeongie dm'd your socials, and yizhuo contacted all your friends. they had to figure out where you were and most importantly, if you were okay.

when honestly in reality, you just had ur phone on silent, not touching it, just trying to power through all the fucking piles of work you had to finish. when you finally did, you packed your shit and booked it, not even glancing at your phone and b-lining home, wanting to feel the warm embrace of your gfs. you finally made it to the door of your shared apartment, leaning your forehead against the hardwood and sighing. your temples throbbed and eyes heavy with exhaustion, your body barely able to move atp. but you gathered enough energy to dig for your keys and unlock the door.

the girls perked up when they heard the locks rattle. ning raced for the door and swung it open before you could unlock it, colliding her body with yours and burying her face into your winter coat.

"where have you been?!" she would exclaim, voice muffled by your clothes.

"ningie, that's enough, at least let her come in," rina said behind her, pulling both of you inside and closing the door.

she pulled away, and the four girls crowded around you, their eyes full of worry but relief as well. you ignore their gazes and rid of your outerwear, removing your shoes, taking off your bag, and slipping out of your coat. they followed you as you dragged yourself to the living room and collapsed on the couch face first. they all jumped a little when you suddenly screamed into the armrest, letting out your stress and pent up exhaustion.

aeri was the first to reapproach you, pulling your limp body up to face her, her kneeling down beside you on the couch.

"you okay baby?" her voice gentle but lined with so much concern.

you closed your eyes at the feeling of her fingers brushing your hair, suddenly feeling tears well up in your eyes. no, you wanted to say, I'm so overwhelmed and stressed and today fucking sucked. but the sheer amount of exhaustion and dread washed over you, making u unable to respond and also start sobbing softly.

ur quiet cries didn't go unheard, the three other girls standing around you on the couch feeling their heart break at the sight of you, just absolutely shattered. aeri's jaw clenched and her eyebrows dropped, immediately pulling you up against her body, you shoving ur face into her neck. the other girls joined just as fast, feeling minjeong move under you so u sat on her lap, your back being hugged by ning, aeri letting you cry into her.

rina crouched down in front of you and rested her chin on your thigh, holding one of your hands with her own, using her free hand to caress your cheek and brush the hair out of your face. the five of you cuddled in silence, your sweet gfs just letting you release all your pent up emotions, feeling emotional themselves watching you so broken.

you were in such a devastated state, crying and aching, feeling so tired and wanting to sleep but being so fucking hungry that your stomach hurt. but even in this moment, despite barely able to breathe thru ur clogged nostrils, the only thing you're able to hear is white noise and the sound of your hiccups, shaking against gigi's sweater, jeongie's lap, yizhuo's hold, and jimin's hands, god, you felt so loved.

you felt so cared for, so adored, so safe, so comforted, so warm. rina leaving the gentlest kisses on ur leg and hands, aeri placing small pecks on ur forehead and hair, minjeong caressing your skin under your shirt, and ning holding you in the most comforting embrace, mumbling to herself against your back ("oh my sweet sweet girl, I'm so sorry you feel so broken, I love you so much :((("). they felt so good, so sweet, like home.

sitting there for minutes to hours, just holding onto you like their precious baby (you are), never leaving your side for a second, making sure every inch of your body was paid attention to. it made you melt further and further into them, something u needed desperately in this moment (it's also cold as fuck outside). u stopped crying on your own, feeling the tears stain ur cheeks as they slowly stopped falling from your eyes, sniffling to recollect yourself (and not leave gross remnants on ur gf's givenchy sweater).

the sound of ur soft giggle made all of them look at u. you sniffle once, twice, hiccup, before mumbling loud enough onto giselle's skin, "fuck."

they all let out an amused chuckle or sigh, rubbing at your skin, your back, patting your head or hair, anything, anywhere, just touching you and making sure you feel their love and affection for you.

"I hate to ruin your designer aeri..." you pull back slightly away from her neck, bringing a hand up to brush at your nose.

"don't even worry your pretty little head about it my love, are you kidding? I don't care about this, especially not when I have the most precious thing in the world right here," she states so sweetly, kissing ur stained cheeks.

"I wet it..." u hiccup.

"it's not like it's the first time you've cried into this sweater. except, it was for other reasons," aeri snickers next to your ear.

karina scowls, winter grimaces, and ningning bellows with laughter. you playfully hit her shoulder and roll your tired eyes as she smiles at you with that adorable and sweet :] shaped grin of hers. jimin taps your thigh and you look down at her, "tough day?"

you nod your head with a heavy sigh, the two younger girls following it up with rubbing your body caringly.

"you should rest princess, let's get you relaxed, okay?" yizhuo behind you rests her chin on your shoulder and says against your ear, the other girls nodding in agreement.

you let out a silent but audible okay before your girlfriends get to work. helping you get cleaned up and out of your clothes you've been in all day, getting you water and electrolytes to replenish the amount of tears you shed, feeding you dinner, getting you ready to sleep in your bed. they all do this in such blissful and comfortable silence, putting your mind at ease and peace as to not stimulate your overwhelmed form any further. they were so calm and patient with you, speaking softly and treating you gently, making sure you were okay with every little simple yet thoughtful thing they did to and for you.

as the girls discussed silently with one another who would stay with you for the night, your weak voice raised from behind them, immediately grabbing their attention.

"please, I need all of you with me tonight. please stay with me?"

the desperation and sorrow in your voice made their hearts ache. they love you so much, like so fucking much. so of course, they did. all of you cuddled up together in karina's big bed, you snuggled up nice, tight, and warm in the center. the soft noises the girls around you made as they slumbered, making sure they had some part of their body touching yours, never wanting to feel you apart from them.

"sleep baby," minjeong's soft cute voice emerges from the dark, her face digging into your neck and placing the sweetest kisses against your skin, "you deserve every bit of rest in the universe."

a smile creeps onto your face hearing her genuine adoring words towards you. you hum contentedly in acknowledgement, shifting closer to the sleepy girl next to you. drifting off to sleep with an exhausted figure, droopy eyes with dark bags, aching heart, overwhelmed mind, but the bestest girls loving you, right by your side, all yours, all theirs.

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: I Can’t Help Myself*

————————————————————————-

Summary: While Joe’s away doing foundation stuff, there's an overwhelming amount of photos of him popping up on Twitter and Instagram. All of them had you patiently waiting for your fiance's arrival home.

Warnings: Smut

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagines Universe: Just the Two of Us

A/N: Apron and shirtless Joe have me feral, had to speed-write this.

————————————————————————-

March 3rd, 2024

It all started with an innocent text from my bestie.

Attachment: 1 Image… Tumblr is going crazy over this right now!

At that moment, I shook my head with a laugh at my best friend's text. She was on Tumblr to keep up with her celebrity crushes, but one day, she jokingly looked my fiance's name up. She would never give me details about what was on the ‘tag’, but she'd now and then tell me what was up with Joe Burrow Tumblr.

Joe had left the house earlier today for a foundation event at a soup kitchen here in Cincy. Robin and Jimmy, Joe’s parents, had come from Athens and were going with him.

By the looks of the picture my best friend sent, Joe wasn't having as bad of a time as he anticipated he would. This morning was full of endless grumbles before I eventually shoved Joe out of the door, but he was smiling in the picture as he poured some soup into a bowl.

He seriously looked adorable. The Guinness hat gives him an oddly innocent look, while the apron he's wearing adds to the cuteness factor.

I'm so buying that man an apron to wear when we're cooking. I thought to myself, giggling out loud.

After sending my bestie a quick response back, I pulled up Joe’s contact.

Nice apron, cutie. 😉

Naturally, It was a while later when Joe answered, but his response set butterflies off in my stomach.

Depending on the intentions behind the wink emoji, I could ask to bring one home if it works ya up.

Taking a few moments to calm down, I shot a nonchalant response back to Joe.

The hat too?

The hat too. I draw the line at the plastic gloves, though. I gotta feel you with no barriers, baby.

How this man can control every pulse point in my body with just his words will never fail to amaze me.

Shit, my mom was reading that beside me. 😬

JOSEPH LEE BURROW.

My stomach dropped at the thought of Robin reading her son practically dirty-talking to me. That's next-level embarrassment.

I'm joking, babe. See you later, with an apron and hat.

Omg, Joe! If I was with you right now, you'd get smacked in the back of the head. I love you, though. See ya later!

Love you too. 😘

This morning, Joe woke up ready to go. I'm not talking about being ready to go to the foundation event, I'm talking about sex.

Joe woke up most mornings wanting a quick romp to start the day, so it had slowly become a part of our daily routine.

It was a different story today, though.

—

Still naked from the previous night’s lovemaking session, Joe had pulled me into him as our lips met. I'd just gotten close enough to grind on his erection when Joe’s phone rang on the nightstand.

“You should probably get that.” - you said between kisses

Joe groaned out of annoyance when he pulled away and grabbed his phone, rolling his eyes when he saw the caller ID.

“Who is it?” - you stroked his chest

“My mom.” - Joe

“Why'd you roll your eyes then?” - you

He sighed and pulled me into his chest, moving his hips away, knowing any friction would make him lose control.

“She treats me like a little kid every time we have one of these foundation events.” - Joe

“You're her baby, Joe. She’s just looking out for you.” - you

Joe nodded with a sigh and accepted the call.

“Hey Mom, yeah I'm awake.” - Joe

His deep, raspy morning voice made my cheeks heat up, and I hid my blush in his chest.

“My shirt’s been ironed, yes. y/n ironed it and laid it out last night.” - Joe

The silence gave me the ability to hear what Robin was saying, and the words she said only made my heart flutter.

“You better have thanked her. Joe, I don't think you realize how lucky you are to have that woman by your side.” - Robin

“I'm very lucky, Mom. Wouldn't be who I am without her.” - Joe

“Make sure she knows that. I'll see you later, sweetie!” - Robin

“Bye, Mom.” - Joe

I cuddled closer to Joe, listening to him mumble a quick “Yes, I love you too” before hanging up.

“Wouldn't be where you are without me, huh sheisty?” - you laughed

“Shut it.” - Joe rolled his eyes

A few seconds of content silence passed before Joe cleared his throat and sat up.

“Okay, I'm like super horny right now, but I'm gonna push that away because I've been thinking about something.” - Joe

“What's that?” - you

“We still haven't told anybody that I proposed. I told you we could wait till we got back to Cincy, and we've been back for weeks. I'm trying to say that we need to tell our families soon.” - Joe

“Oh ok, that's fine. Whenever you want to, I'm down.” - you

“Actually? Just like that?” - Joe

I giggled and gently reached out to comb back the curls that had fallen over on Joe’s forehead.

“Yeah, just like that. It's been fun keeping it just between us, but I want nothing more than telling our family we’re gonna get married.” - you

“Can I also ask you about something else?” - Joe

“Mhm.” - you

Joe sighed and took a second to clear his thoughts.

“You okay?” - you

“Yeah… I'm just trying to pay attention, it's kinda hard to, you know…” - Joe

He flicked his head down toward the tented sheet covering his lap.

“Focus, babe.” - you laughed

“Okay, uhm… what if we got married earlier than this coming offseason?” - Joe

“What do you mean?” - you tilted your head to the side

“What if we got married at the courthouse, no one else there? Just you, me, and the judge. It could be as soon as next month or as late as a week before our actual ceremony.” - Joe

I let his idea sink in, thinking about how sweet his idea of getting married soon is.

“I’m listening.” - you smiled

“We won't do our big vows or even exchange rings yet, just the license saying we're married, and hopefully your name change.” - Joe grinned

“y/n Burrow.” - you

Joe grinned from ear to ear, a blush on his cheeks as he heard my first name paired with his last name.

“Always thought that sounded perfect. I remember thinking about it on the first day of college during roll call. I couldn't take my eyes off of you after our professor said your name, and I thought about your last name as Burrow.” - Joe

“You're adorable.” - you

“Thanks.” - Joe

A few seconds went by without either of us saying something, but Joe broke it with a sigh.

“Are we going to continue what we were doing before your mom called?” - you

“Sadly, I have to start getting ready. Waiting will make tonight even better, though.” - Joe winked

“How do you know I'll even want it later?” - you

“You will, baby. You always do.” - Joe

—

Now, here I was, staring at a picture of my fiance pouring soup into a bowl.

Something about the moment just screamed husband.

Maybe it was the adorable apron. Or hat. Or plastic gloves.

Whatever it was, I wanted more of it. More of him. All of him.

My thoughts lingered to the most intimate moments with Joe. Catching myself before I got too worked up, I pulled up my phone to scroll through Instagram.

As soon as I did, though, my plan of a distraction was shot to hell.

Justin Hillard made a post of the Arizona trip the boys went on and one of the last slides showcased a sweaty, shirtless Joe.

“Where's Joe when you need him.” - you groaned

—

What felt like hours later, I heard the garage door open signaling Joe was home.

A minute later, his tall frame was striding into the kitchen. I watched him look around for a second before his eyes landed on me.

A grin formed on his lips as he walked up to the couch. Joe dropped to his knees in front of me and leaned in for a kiss.

When I went to pull away, Joe grabbed the back of my neck to keep me in place. After a few minutes of making out, Joe finally pulled away.

“Sorry, I really needed that.” - Joe sheepishly smiled

“It's alright, I did too.” - you smiled

“How was your day? I didn't leave you too bored, right?” - Joe

“My day was good, and no. I spent most of it obsessing over the new pics of you.” - you

“Felt like I never left then, huh?” - Joe

“Dead wrong. Staring at the pictures only made me miss you more.” - you

I watched as Joe teasingly licked his lips, never once breaking eye contact.

“Why's that?” - Joe

“Cut the shit, Joe. You know exactly why.” - you

“Because we didn't have sex this morning? That's why you missed me?” - Joe

“Well, that's not the only reason why. I naturally hate being away from you, but yes sex has something to do with it.” - you

Joe reached out and placed his hand on my inner thigh, nestling his hand against my crotch.

“Wanna go upstairs then?.” - Joe

I nodded, and Joe was quick to stand up and pick me up bridal style.

Giggles flew from both of our lips as Joe hurried up the stairs to our bedroom.

Soon, Joe was laying me on the bed and crawling on top of me.

“I love you.” - you said between kisses

Joe smiled and returned the sentiment, my arms wrapping around his neck as we kissed.

“Listen let's just get straight to it. I've been looking forward to this all day.” - you

“You don't want the tongue & finger combo first?” - Joe

I laughed at his bluntness before nodding my head.

“I need you inside me.” - you

“Fuck, I love hearing you say that.” - Joe

Joe placed his lips back on mine and shifted his weight onto one arm, lifting the other hand to unzip his fly.

I helped him shed his pants off, but Joe took my hand away when I reached for his boxers. He sat back on his knees for a second to pull his shirt over his head, quickly returning to his position above me when he was done.

My arms were around his shoulder as Joe slowly dropped his hips to grind on me. Just seconds later he'd pull away to take my clothes off.

When we were both naked, Joe’s lust-filled eyes scanned over my body before reversing course and locking with mine.

“God, you're beautiful, baby.” - Joe

After Joe lined himself up to my entrance, he slowly pushed inside. Making sure I felt every inch of him.

“You feel so good.” - Joe groaned

“You too…” - you

“So hot and wet for me, baby.” - Joe

Joe didn't move for a minute, just savoring the feeling of my walls wrapped around his hard cock.

“Joey, move, please?” - you

I watched him nod before he leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to my cheek. Joe formed a path of kisses from my cheek to my lips.

Once he met my lips, Joe slipped out of me before slamming his cock back inside.

Both of us moaned loudly when his tip hit my cervix, my walls squeezing Joe’s thrusting cock as he set a rough pace.

“You feel insane.” - Joe moaned

“I've been dreaming about this… all day.” - you

A few minutes later, Joe and I were still locked together at mouth and crotch.

“I'm not gonna last much longer.” - Joe moaned

“Me… neither.” - you

Joe’s face contorted as the overwhelming pleasure coursed through his body. His cute nose scrunching as his eyes are clenched shut.

“Oh, fuck!” - Joe grunts

Seconds later, with a shaky hand, Joe reaches down to where we were connected and rubbed my clit with his thumb. His thrusts became uneven but never once unsatisfactory.

“Joey! I'm gonna cum!” - you moaned

It wasn't much longer after that when I fell over the edge, moaning Joe’s name through my climax.

Joe continued his thrusts before rushing to get as deep as he could.

His head fell back, and his mouth fell open. A moan and grunt of my name leaves his pretty pink lips as he cums.

After his orgasm, Joe fell forward and on top of me. Burying his face in my neck as he stayed inside me, fading out the experience.

I reached a hand up and cupped the back of Joe’s head, slowly running my fingers through his unruly curls. The comforting sounds of our mutual heavy breath and the ceiling fan created a soft moment.

“You really liked that apron, huh?” - Joe

“Yeah.” - you giggled

Joe stayed there for a bit, enjoying being cuddled before he eventually pulled out and hopped out of bed.

My eyes lingered on his perfectly plump butt as Joe walked into our bathroom, later returning with a washcloth to clean us both up.

He strode up to me as I stayed lying in the bed. Joe softly caressed my thighs while gently spreading my legs apart.

I hummed in contentment at the feel of the warm washcloth, and Joe only smiled at the sound.

After cleaning himself up too, Joe slipped on a pair of clean boxers.

“Do you want one of my shirts to sleep in? Panties too, maybe?” - Joe

“Just one of your shirts will be fine.” - you smiled

Joe nodded and disappeared into the closet. A few seconds later, he walked back in with one of his pregame shirts that was from a previous season.

“Lean up for me, baby.” - Joe

I did his bidding and Joe slipped the top over my head, making sure my arms went through the sleeves.

“Comfy?” - Joe

He walked around the bed and climbed into his side.

“Very, and it smells like you.” - you grinned

“I hope that's a good thing.” - Joe laughed

“It's a very good thing, you smell delicious.” - you

Joe chuckled as he pulled me into his chest, one of his big hands running over my back as my head was hidden in Joe’s neck.

“I love you.” - you

“I love you more.” - Joe

He lovingly stroked my hair, providing tender words of affirmation and holding me tightly in his arms during their comforting aftercare ritual.

“Oh shit, do you know what I just realized?” - Joe

“What?” - you

“My apron is down in my car. I forgot to show you.” - Joe sighed

“It's okay. You can show me tomorrow.” - you giggled

“Guess what.” - Joe

I narrowed my eyes, trying to see his expression in the dark but failing.

“What?” - you

“I grabbed one for you too.” - Joe smiled

“Oh my god.” - you laughed

“I couldn't help myself!” - Joe

He laughed along with me before we both paused, coincidently yawning in sync, which ended in another laughing fit.

“Goodnight, baby.” - you

“Goodnight, my love.” - Joe

————————————————————————-

Authors note: because Joe was illegally fine that day.

Came from my own head! 💞

[pikahlua]

Fourteen Days of MHA: Day 3

Light Fades to Rain

Okay, let's gush. Here are my feelings about the anime adaptation of chapters 360-362: season 7 episode 11. This will quickly devolve from eloquent discussion to raging madness I promise.

The opening five minutes are the weakest part of the episode. This is the only section I will lodge any complaints about, and honestly they're not that serious.

The sadomasochism got toned down :P

I kind of expected it, and honestly I get why. Even though it was scaled back, the scene was effective enough for most viewers because there's just something about seeing it animated that makes it feel visceral anyways. The detail was always going to be reduced in the art when adapted to animation, and a lot of that art could've looked really bad without the necessary detail.

But it wouldn't be on brand for me if I didn't mention that it bummed me out lol.

The only other thing I can complain about isn't even an issue with the episode, it's an error in the subtitles.

"...you're just goldfish poop next to All For One."

a) It should be "One For All," not "All For One."

b) I don't think they should have kept it as "goldfish poop." Sorry to any language purists out there, but the idiomatic meaning of this phrase in Japanese will not get picked up by an English-speaking audience--and that idiom is important. It has an impact on how Katsuki behaves going forward. I think the subtitles should have changed that to something like "a minnow in One For All's wake" or "a tag-along weakling," ANYTHING to get the point across that Tomura is trying to inflict psychological damage by telling Katsuki he'll never amount to anything on the level of One For All. That message informs the rest of the episode!

Now, if that's the only complaint I have about this whole episode--a slightly too-fast-paced-under-detailed opening scene and a bad subtitle--then I'm a happy camper. And indeed that is the only complaint I have.

This episode is a masterpiece of adaptation.

The focus on the Big Three is so good because it does such a good job of masking where the episode is going but it's perfectly in-theme because of the parallels the three of them have with Izuku and Katsuki. IT JUST WORKS MAN. I LOVE IT.

The music that plays when Katsuki mutters is an excellent choice, though I wish they could have done something to hammer the point home more that he was indeed muttering and analyzing like Izuku does. Maybe the little "mutter" text would've been dissonant in tone lol but still I wish there was a way they could've done it. I do think the point does come across in the end still, but it's just more impactful when you get to see the little "mutter" text come full circle. Yeah yeah, manga vs anime and all that.

I didn't expect the tone they went with for Jeanist's reaction to Katsuki's muttering, but it was just different not like bad or anything. I kinda liked the whole "what the fuuuuck" vibe of it. I was thinking more like "Holy shit, I'm a proud dad" tone but this works XD

Jeanist is such a dad.

HE SPARKLE. KATSUKI, HE SPARKLE. IT SO PRETTY. AT LAST.

The animators were SOOOO trying to hide the twist this episode from the anime-only viewers, they didn't even put Katsuki on the commercial bumpers, they didn't want to SPOIL THE SURPRISE. IT'S SO GOOD.

Lost it at Tenko's freak out (damn voice actor wow) and Mirio's "g-gomen." I need the dub of this scene so bad.

JEANIST MY FIRST LOVE, DAD-ING SO HARD ALL OVER THIS EPISODE LOOK AT HIM GO.

Nejire is adorable as hell and everyone in MHA is so easily read as autistic it's remarkable actually.

They really put the typography behind the plasma cannon they actually did that.

UNF THAT PIANO. THE PIANO GOES OFF ALL OVER THE PLACE THIS EPISODE, DAMN.

Also good job on making the plasma cannon blast look small and precise to contrast Katsuki's attack last episode, because Katsuki definitely has more firepower but Tamaki has the finesse to concentrate the attack for a sustained period.

BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS

Everything from BOOTS on is perfection I know you all already know that.

Jeanist's voice acting is underappreciated, I really loved him this episode.

The little special sound effect for his clusters now!!! IT MAKES ME SO EXCITED. I CAN'T WAIT TO SUPERIMPOSE IT OVER KATAMARI DAMACY NEXT SEASON

Present Mic with the La Brava's-Love-quirk soft narration omg [chef's kiss]

OKAMOTO. OKAMOTO OH MY GOD. YOU GIVING ME FEELINGS WITH YOUR VOICE CRACKS I CAN'T SLEEP

The slo-mo shots are so pretty ;_;

THEY GAVE US MORE KUDOU TOO AND IT WAS SO GOOD, THE CONNECTION WAS DRAWN SO WELL BETWEEN HIM AND KATSUKI I AM LOVING IT SO MUCH. IT ALSO HELPS THE ENGLISH-SPEAKING AUDIENCE UNDERSTAND THIS IS DEFINITELY THE AFO-DOMINANT PERSONALITY NOT TOMURA.

Even if this series ends without explaining it, I'm going to come up with my own explanation for that vestige world shit. That cannot just be symbolic afterlife bullcrap. IT MEANS SOMETHING.

He's just a boy ;_; He's just a baby boyyyyyy

GIVE HIM HIS AUTOGRAPH BY THE END OF THIS SERIES SO HELP ME--

he spin thru the air like a meme

It's time for Horikoshi's favorite character: Bakucorpse!

You wanted the blue sky gone, but at what cost?

YES I'M LOVING THE VIBE FROM THE THUNDER SOUND

Oh...oh it hurts a lot to see in color, oh he's so pale...ohhhh no

THAT ENDING SONG? NOW? HOW DARE.

That horrifying feeling of emptiness at the end :)

The joy of watching others cry over this 👀

Katsuki is the actual symbol of hope I don't care what anyone says. All hope of victory is lost with his death and the only chance of winning comes from reviving him with the literal power of hopes and prayers and wishes. He is Hope Incarnate. A very Sassy (Soft Precious) Hope Incarnate.

[ak319]

Yan G!P Princess x fem reader

(Warnings: Possessive, stalker, betrayal, )

Your name in the story is Deniz

Part I

(Your POV)

"But Clara what we can do is ---with the help of the Mayor perhaps negotiate with them. I think they would agree, I mean that family loves doing charity don't they?"

"Yup, they do, Leo. But not behind the scenes. When the camera is off, they are just another ordinary, rich, money-hungry family." My boss Clara sighed for the umpteenth time and took her glasses off. I sat quietly on the sofa listening to their banter for the past ten minutes.

Our organisation, Redwood High Social Work was now facing what seemed like a dead end regarding the 1 acre of land that was designated to be made into a proper field for sports, not only for Redwood but for Knights High which was affiliated to Redwood and was a school for Special Ed. They really deserve that ground. Every kid deserves a good sport and imagine the numerous events we can have in the field. But somehow everything isn't so easy. We received an email last night which was apparently from the palace! Like THE PALACE! We thought that it was a prank but in the morning the Mayor's secretary sent us one clarifying that yes, it was from the palace. And what it stated was that and I quote

''....the field itself isn't the issue but the forest behind it is the property of the Royal family. God forbid none of us would want anyone harmed if there happens to be any hunting activity taking place. Keeping this in mind, it is therefore requested that your honourable organization reconsider its plans and if any compensation is desired, contact the number XXXX...."

"Just read this posh ass shit. I cannot believe the Mayor ditched us like that." Clara snarled flailing her arms once more making Leo rub his temples. I noticed a few gray hairs on the back of his head. Poor guy really be getting old early due to Clara.

"He didn't ditch us Clara. He did what any person would do, listen to the higher-ups. DUH?!"

"Higher ups?! Seriously Leo? Where were these higher-ups when we officially signed ownership documents and paid for the fucking land levelling equipment?! Do you think they gonna refund me? NO! Even if they do it will be half of the amount. Those were the school's funds LEO! The principal will get chewed on by the parents and in both schools! God....I don't---I can't just wrap my fucking mind around this whole scenario. That forest is literally at the edge of the field. The fences have been already built around 2 years ago. There are no reports of any animal attacks. And it's not like we are not going to monitor our children. Do we look stupid to them?! And I swear Leo and Deniz...they don't own that forest. I checked it a million times. Nobody goes there but oh now they do? Kiss my ass! "

I took a deep breath and put down my laptop down on the table before walking over to her desk.

"Maybe, Leo is right. We can only sort this out via a meeting."

"Meeting with who Deniz? I see only one solution. That is to sue them. Imma sue them, Imma sue the mayor too. Like where is he now? Huh? Did he just use us as some campaign pawns? Did you see his fucking website? WE ARE THERE! BUT NOW LOOK WE DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING GROUND. Imma sue his ass." She ran her hand through her curly black locks in anger. I definitely can understand what she is going through. Frustration. Anger. Sadness. But we all need to think instead of rant.

"I did see it, Clara. But you need to calm down. We need to come up with something solid. And suing the royal family? Can we even do that?" I looked at Leo who shrugged.

"See? We are not making any sense right now. What is done is done. So, I was thinking like---we can use the power of media as well. Why don't I call in Alfie and get your words on the front page tomorrow? He is looking for some hot tips as well these days." Alfie was Clara's cousin and a pretty seasoned journalist too.

"Get my words on what exactly?. We need to-" She breathed in for once before continuing "We need to have a chat with both of these parties first, Deniz. Go and keep reaching the Mayor's office. We will get rid of him first. Leo, go inform Knights about this fuckery but feed them some words of hope as well like 'we are working on it and it will be sorted', gotcha? Also, ask them to keep it to themselves. I don't want any parent drama."

"I already sent e-mails to the Mayor's office. Also what about Ma'am Layla?" I referred to our school's principal.

"I'll explain this to her myself." With that, everybody got to work. Honestly never thought that a degree in Science in Policy could lead to such a problematic job. I thought everything was going to be cookies and rainbows. But meh. People ruin everything. And I mean some assholes and I know exactly who this might be. But I need to be calm and focused right now.

Anyway, why is the Mayor even siding with the Royals --- since when are they interfering in the government?. Just as I was thinking this I got a notification on my phone. YES! An email from Emilia, Mayor Alex's secretary.

It said that Carla is invited to a meeting tomorrow. Mhm. This is good news then. Better go tell her.

════∘◦❁◦∘════

Fast forward to tomorrow, we were heading to the Mayor's abode. Not his office. His home. Which was odd. It was only me, as I was the assistant to the project manager, and Carla herself, the project manager/organization head, and the driver.

"So don't worry about the talking I'll-"

"You will handle it. I know. Just don't use the word sue ten times in a row and we will be good."

"Deniz, come on. Everybody loses their marbles sometimes. Didn't you once break everything in your room just because your food order was cancelled due to rain or something like that?" She whispered to me about my meltdown. My eyes widened in embarrassment, making her laugh.

"I assume you the most humble Carla, never experienced the emotion "hanger". And guess what--I had my movie ready to be played and my pad changed. " I whispered the last part to her as well. "So yeah, my cosy time was ruined. I would wage a war for that."

"Pft. Imagine you being a Queen. You would wage war everyday then."

"Damn right." Although her words brought an uncomfortable feeling and bitter thoughts in my mind making me shiver but I remained composed.

We bantered and went through some points before finally reaching our destination. I said some prayers as I got out of the car wishing that everything goes smoothly and this gets sorted out today. Glancing over at Carla's blank look as she scanned the front door, I could tell she was hoping the same.

Soon the Mayor greeted us in his formal attire and led us to his veranda where someone else was present too. An old man but his poise screamed of experience and wisdom. His eyes seemed to smile when we entered but the rest of his face was stoic. He was introduced to us as Richard, the queen's butler of some sorts. Just great.

The discussion started and it was revealed by "MR. RICHARD" that,

"As a matter of fact that forest is a part of royal treasury but since this---trifle has started, the King has with open heart decided to hand it to your organization, but..."

All of three of us leaned and waited for the next words out of his mouth. God , he spoke so slow.

"only when Princess Kade returns back from Harvard." My heart dropped.

"And why is that?" Carla's blurted out, in favor of mine and Alex's curiosity.

"Because it is accorded in her name. Her property , her signatures." He spoke looking directly at Carla.

Alex sighed, "Well, this is still a good start. When will she be back?"

"In a month or so, sir. But don't worry, the field will be handed to you as soon as she arrives. She doesn't hesitate when it comes to her duties," Richard eyed me and I held his gaze as fiercely as I could.

That was the moment when my doubts were confirmed and hardened. I know exactly who is behind this and why. But for now, I think Carla's smile means a call for celebration.

════∘◦❁◦∘════

(Your POV)

I stepped into my apartment and took a long shower which I had been desiring all day. But at the back of my mind I had a feeling that my feelings of anger and frustration instead of subsiding were about to explode more and that is what happened when I sat down on my sofa with my phone. A call from an unknown number. I picked it up but didn't say anything waiting for the other side to speak.

"Hello? Deniz?"

"Fuck you, Kade! FUCK YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! YOU RICH SNOBBY BASTARD! YOU CREEP! WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! You have dug your claws EVERYWHERE HAVEN'T YOU!? How low can you go? Huh?! PATHETIC!"

"Listen, please. I beg you to listen. If you are so keen to figure out that I did it, why don't you see WHY I did it?! Even these curses that you oh so charmingly bestowed upon me right now, you wouldn't do it Deniz if I hadn't done something, because you don't consider me even worthy of your hate Deniz. And here I am, begging for an ounce of affection-

"I didn't ask you to beg!" Her words don't ever miss a chance to rile me up. Why can't this delusional woman just leave me alone?

"You study at Harvard for God's sake yet you cannot--decipher the meaning of a simple word called NO. Why can't you accept-

"I WON'T ACCEPT IT! EVER!. BECAUSE IT'S BASELESS! Absolutely baseless! I refuse to accept it because I know deep down you don't mean-" She took a deep breath before continuing and I could also hear the sound of wind in the background. Almost as if something was hitting a hard surface and I instantly remembered. 'Yeah of course how did I forget she is using a fucking payphone ever since I blocked all her numbers.' How did I even manage to make her go to these lengths? Should I even blame myself? My therapist said no. Yeah. No Deniz, this isn't your fault. Don't you dare take it upon yourself for the crazy stunts of this bastard princess. Should I blame that whole match? That day, that event, that night?

It happened when I was in high school, part of the girl's cricket team in Southampton. After a match against another school and my striking performance as an outclass bowler, being responsible for taking out 3, star batswomen of the rival team, a girl from the audience approached me. Tall, reeking of elegance and mystery. My team captain, Reece whom I was standing beside at the time with some other teammates seemed to know the Princess as we would come to know later on. They both met through mutual acquaintances at a basketball match and were now very close friends. One thing to mention is that I had a thing for Reece due to her caring, charming and dominating presence on the field. I mean come on, she was quite a looker too with her sharp features and those green calculating eyes, her height, and golden brown hair which she kept mostly in a man bun. I always felt shy for no reason when we all would work out in the school gym and she would always come to scold my posture or cause my already pounding heart to nearly blast out of my chest helping me with her muscled arms and hands. LIKE WOMAN SORRY IF I AIN'T AS BUILT AS YOU! I wanted to scream "Hey! Stop treating me as a baby or if am weaker" But man come on, deep down I loved her care and touch. Can you blame my ass? Anyway, I digress. Back to that "After Match Moment".

Reece introduced her as a longtime childhood buddy and kept her background mostly vague and we were already exhausted after the match so didn't pay any heed anyway but mostly all of the team recognized her as the princess of the fucking land that we were standing on. Even though I was drenched in sweat and overwhelmed by the crowd — mostly parents and teachers and now a fucking princess standing in front, I still noticed Kade's lingering gaze on me. At the time, it was somewhat off-putting, but I decided to let it go. Little did I know how I would be drawn into such a heartless game, not only by Kade but also by Reece. I had trusted Reece as a mentor and a friend, and I even harboured a special affection for her that I never disclosed to anyone or dared to confess to her. Reece was the type of person who had many admirers, and my own insecurities made me feel like I could never compete. She could have anyone she wanted, so I focused on my studies and cricket instead.

After the meeting with Kade, Reece initiated plans for an outing which was very rare for her to do so. It was something Hana did, our wicketkeeper as she was the cheery one, the sunshine and the glue of the team. Others didn't seem to notice Reece's sudden change in demeanour, but I did as whenever we went to Reece's house or somewhere out, she seemed to avoid me in a way that is difficult to describe. Like she would be talking to me but not looking at me?. Also, Kade seemed to always show up and eventually became part of our friend group. Thank God she wouldn't stare at me as she did that night but still lingered around me. I always felt strange when we played cricket in front of her and even with her. She always was eager to ball herself when I used to bat and Reece let her do it first , every time. Kade once fixed my posture when I was batting. Like, excuse me?? I am a professional here. I know how to bat. Are you fucking kidding me?! I wanted to smash the bat on her head. Everyone except Reece thought that it was condescending for her to do that. And the fact that she touched me while doing it.

Bruh.

I too lost my shit at that time and did tell her politely that I know how to bat to which she apologised with a smile and backed off.

Reece straight up once "little sister zoned me" in front of everyone at her cabin during a BBQ and both she and Kade laughed as if it was the funniest shit they ever heard.

What shocked me most was Reece's behaviour few days after that. She really took the role of 'big sister' too seriously. She paid extra attention to me as if babying me and often I would find goodie bags in my locker or doorstep after practices and matches. I was...honestly just fed up. Like what fucking drugs are you on , Captain? First, you ignore me and then--this? Calling me and making me your sister? Giving me gifts? Like it took me so much to bury my feelings about her and she is "platonically love-bombing" me?

One day I had enough and texted her respectfully that I don't want all of this attention and I just wanted to be treated like a teammate as before. And asked her if she---likes me by any chance and she is doing all this to impress me. (Which is the one I hoped at that time of my youth and dumbassery that she would agree with and confess her feelings) Fate had other plans and hell broke loose when she rang me and informed me.

'Look, it's me giving you all that stuff but I ain't the one buying 'em', Dizzy. It's Kade, well she likes you and um--so ever since she told me about her crush on you, she sends me these to give em to you- and Dizzy---I can't say no to my friend ....who is also royalty. You should try to understand. She really really likes you. Trust me. She's a bit--aloof when it comes to expressing it. Especially since it's you." She chuckled lightly. "Honestly, you here made a princess scared of you, be proud of yourself...cuz Kade ain't easy to intimidate.."

That was when my whole world collapsed. So all of this ---bullshit--confusion--and- God...

After that, I confronted Kade face to face as Reece called her to school one day. She remained steadfast and pleaded to give her a chance but I was deep in anger and felt played. Not to forget the fact that dating a fucking royalty was not the thing I was even imagining at that point at 17 years old. Informing your parents you are dating a princess.....nah.

After that, I focused on my studies and game not talking to Reece other than when I had to about the match. I stopped hanging out with her. I hated her. She didn't care anyway as I would later find out from another teammate that Reece looked at me as not her sister but SISTER-IN-FUCKING-LAW! LIKE WOMAN?! During my absence and one of their "Chill Nights", Kade had made it clear to her in front of other teammates that Reece would be her best woman at OUR WEDDING!? Do you get the level of craziness?! THESE TWO WERE MANIACS! Thank God, I graduated somehow and Kade hadn't appeared in my life after the argument with her and neither did her gifts. I also broke off contact with Reece's ass and even rarely talked with other players but they were honestly more supportive and understood my side. However, Kade and Reece's sis-romance was off the charts. Just go marry each other, weirdos.

Fast forward to a few years and voila, Kade is back and more persistent than ever. Even Reece messaged me on instagram that I should get hitched with her as it's better for my future for which I retorted.

'Um, focus on your life, Reece. Heard you've got a league coming up' Yes, she is a national player now. FML. That was my dream too but I am grateful I ain't because she would be playing alongside me. Eugh!

'Also I can make decisions for myself and I don't appreciate people trying to coax me into anything I don't want to do, you know that very well. Match against the Kent Lionesses, 30 sept, 2013? Yes, didn't wanna do a spin, didn't do it and gave u a good 4 wickets. While Tanya was forcing me to do fast bowl. So please, get the fantasy of me being your BFF's wife out of your head.'

She indeed was unhappy but left me on seen after saying you are missing out on a great woman and a great life.

Right. Fuck you too.

Still fast forward to now and Kade is still looking for ways to connect with me and re-enter my life or trying to RUIN the one I have by creating such circumstances which all link back to her. I have blocked so many numbers of her that now she uses payphones.

I need a break.

Back to reality. Oh , she still is rambling.

"Kade?"

The line goes silent. Good, now is my time.

"Bye." And I cut the call and powered off my phone. I immediately sent a text via laptop to Carla that I needed a prolonged leave as I was leaving for my (homeland/town). The perks of having a nice boss is that she agreed and didn't even pry much and soon I booked a flight and got ready to pack.

My mind however kept swirling with other notions. For example, what will happen if I say yes to Kade? What If I just never come back and consult all of this bullshit from the start with my family and come up with a plan to start an undercover life.

My body is so exhausted by the memories and anxiety that i just collapse on the bed and make a mental note to think over this during the flight.

➺Part II

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Guys, I wanted to make it clear that I just don't like using (Y/N) in stories as I just hate typing it so I will be mostly naming you, the readers ♡. Yes you , my little family of 10 😭. I would like to know your opinion. Do hang around for further parts. Kade Emsworth's side coming up soon. )

[ohtobeleah]

Day Twenty [Nobody Can]

Summary: When a killer clown guts you like a fish, Bob is the one who stumbles upon you. Only to never come face to face who the person who did this to you.

Warnings: Bob Floyd x Seresin!reader. main Character deaths. Gore. Blood. Violence.

Word Count: 1.6k

Whumptober Prompt Day Twenty: Enemy/Stranger to caretaker, “I’m absolutely not qualified for this shit.”

Author Note: Please make sure you read the warnings provided. Disclaimer: I do not condone nor endorse the actions that are written about during the month of October. These works of fiction are just that, fiction and should be treated as such. Thank you to @ailesswhumptober for this year's prompt list.

Whumptober Masterlist | Main Masterlist |

“AH!” 

Diabolical forces are formidable. Those forces are external, and they exist today. The fairy tale is true. The devil exists. God exists. And for us as people, our very destiny hinges on which one we elect to follow. 

“Y/n? Was that you?” Bob Floyd had never liked you all that much. It wasn’t that you were a rude, hostile, or violent person by any means. No. It was more the fact he couldn’t stand your brother. Jake Seresin. That alone was enough for Bob to make a judgment call he thought was pretty on point for who you were. However, Bob was too kind of a person to completely ignore you. So, he tolerated your presence whenever you were in town. 

For a half-sibling, Jake had always been your biggest supporter. Your greatest protector. Your best friend. But right now? As you lay in a pool of your own blood on the floor of some wack-ass haunted house he’d invited you along to, Jake was nowhere to be seen. 

Never in your wildest dreams had you ever thought something like this would happen to you. This only ever happened in the movies, or some poorly punctuated fanfiction written at five-thirty in the afternoon the day before it was due for a prompt update. Things like this never happened in real life. Killer clowns in haunted houses on Halloween Eve? Yeah right. 

“Y/n?” Bob's voice dragged your mind from the inner workings of the Rolodex that was about to play out your life before your weakening eyes. “What are you doing?” It was something to hold onto though. Something to keep the very limited amount of blood still left inside you, pumping around. Oxygenating enough to keep you alive. 

“B-bob,” It was weak, so weak in fact you were left unsure if Bob had actually heard you. “H-elp me,” You begged barely above a whisper as you clutched at your stomach. Deep gushing blood spewed through your fingers as the blood-soaked shirt you wore absorbed enough oozing red to weigh you down. There was so much blood. Everywhere you looked seemed to be red. It stained your skin enough to show the small delicate lines that littered your hands like a sketchbook of memories. 

For Bob, this was all too much. First, the haunted house made him want to die at every corner he rounded. Then, he got separated from the group, making his anxieties skyrocket to new heights yet explored. And now? You’d decided to pull a stunt like this. And not a classy one at that either. 

“You and your brother really do my head in with your pranks” Bob shook his head in defeat. “This is just,” Bob couldn’t say what he really wanted to say, he didn’t want his mother rolling in her grave. “This is just upsetting to look at.” Even in his own anger, Bob could never raise his voice at you. His calmness, however, was usually something Bob relied on in situations requiring level-headedness. And that was about to be his biggest weakness. 

“Not. A. Prank,” You laid there on the floor in a secluded spot in the haunted house looking up at Bob, who thought you were messing with him. Sure you’d pulled a few pranks in the past whenever you’d come to visit your brother. But this wasn’t your doing. This wasn’t a prank. This wasn’t fake. This was life and death. “Help me, please!” 

Bob stood there in idle mode for a minute longer than you would have liked him to. He stood looking down at you, bleeping out and cupping your intestines back into your body. Then it clicked. Holy shit… You weren’t trying to pull a prank on him. You were hurt, badly. 

“Oh my gosh, Y/n!” Bob finally snapped into action as he knelt down beside you. His hands immediately took over applying pressure against the open gash that had sliced through muscle and layers of fat and skin across your stomach. Your blood seeped through Bob’s fingers, kissing his fingerprints as he did so. “What the hell happened?” The look of pure terror that emanated off Bob’s face was enough to tell you that this was bad. Very bad. So bad in fact you could see yourself not making it. 

Not that you didn’t already think this situation was bad, hell, you knew that the second you saw your lower intensities spilling from your stomach. You weren’t a rocket scientist but you could conclude pretty easily after seeing something no human should ever see outside their own body, that you were in fact, screwed. 

“One of the c-clowns,” You tried to explain to Bob as he assessed your injuries. “Attacked me, with–an axe!” You never expected it. As you rounded one of the corners inside the haunted house, using your hands on the walls to guide you, you walked right into it as he swung. A sharp, bloodied axe. Right to the lower abdomen. It damn near split you in two. 

“Wh-where are the others?” Bob stuttered as little as he looked around the dimly lit hallway. Still holding you in his arms. “HELP! SOMEBODY!” 

“Shhh!” You pleaded with the aviator who you hadn’t always been the kindest to. You should have at least stayed till morning when you’d gone home with Bob three nights ago. You should have at least given him a reason as to why you didn’t want Jake to know you’d slept together. Maybe if you’d just told the truth and explained to Bob that you really did like him… it’s just that you didn’t think you were his speed. His type. Good enough for him. It was you, not him. 

Maybe then Bob would have liked you a little more. Maybe. Or maybe he’d still love you enough to pretend to hate you. 

Jake had always tormented you about having a crush on one of his colleagues. There wasn’t that much of an age difference, but Jake always had a way of teasing you about it. 

“He’ll hear you!” The blood you coughed up made Bob’s eyes well with adrenaline. Just how was he supposed to help you?

“We need to get you out of here,” Bob explained as he started taking his shirt off. “I need you to hold this against yourself to stop the bleeding. It wasn’t a matter of if you could stop the bleeding. It was a matter of how long you could prolong the enviable. 

“What are you–you gonna do?” You asked as you took hold of Bob’s crumpled-up shirt now pressed against your stomach. Immediately soaking up your crimson-red blood. 

“I’m absolutely not qualified for this shit,” Bob hissed through gritted teeth as he musted up all the courage he had to pick you up bridal style. “I’m gonna get you outta here, what the hell does it look like I’m gonna do, Y/n? Leave you here to die?” 

The sarcasm was tasteless in a time like this, but you bit back nevertheless. “You thought I was pranking you!” You tried to yell. But as you tensed more blood oozed out of your mouth. Your nose. Your ears. All the while Bob carried you through the haunted maze of windy corridors and false exits. “You think so little of me.” 

“Only because I thought we had something,” Bob confessed as he carried your bleeding self through the darkness. “So do me a favour here and don’t die, so that you can tell me to my face after I save your life how wrong I am, and that you love me the same way I love you.”

It was enough to have you fighting to keep yourself awake. It was just enough. Bob’s words sat heavy in your chest as he carried you closer to safety through the world’s most unrealistic haunted house ever erected. The only thing even remotely realistic was that stupidly terrifying clown. 

“I’ll try,” You replied weakly. Bob made eye contact with you for a few seconds. He carried you like dead weight in his arms, trying his very best to get you to safety. He may have felt some kind of way about you know but he didn’t want you to die. And he certainly didn’t want you to die like this. 

Diabolical forces are formidable. Those forces are external, and they exist today. The fairy tale is true. The devil exists. God exists. And for us as people, our very destiny hinges on which one we elect to follow. 

The only sound he made was a faint ‘Ugh’ sound before you were sent hurdling towards the floor in a heap of twisted lifeless limbs. You weren’t sure what had happened. Maybe Bob had tripped. In the fuss, you had been crushed you all of Bob’s dead weight. 

More blood oozed out of your deep wounds as you tried to escape from underneath Bob. But as you moved, you saw it. The axe sticking out of the back of Bob’s head. Now split like a coconut. Gushing blood as his body twitched above you in a heap. 

You wanted to scream, but you couldn’t. Your eyeline caught the clown shoes standing off in the near distance. Your eyes trailed up the legs, and the torso and even saw the grotesque mask splattered in what would could only assume was Bob’s blood. The chainsaw in the clown’s hand made your heart stop inside your chest. Fuck.

But it wasn’t until the clown removed the mask that you truly saw the face of pure evil. All the blood still left inside your body ran cold. 

“If I can’t have him, no one can.” Natasha chuckled as she made her way over to you. Chainsaw at the ready. 

[sosuigeneris]

Socialite Series: Cherry’s Master Post

Things that have helped me, that could help you. Here is a master list of my softmaxxing journey!

Body:

J*hn Bent*n’s workouts: Yes he’s an asshole but his workouts really do work. He used to train models and his workouts are life changing.

2. B-12 Lipo salines: These you can consume in a shot (like an injection) or in a saline (go to a GOOD DOCTOR for this). I prefer the saline, and my doctor recommended the 6 week course for me (one saline every week). It burns subQ fat and that was the main reason why I began using those. There is zero side effect to these, acc to my doc.  edit: don’t really recommend these anymore. I’ll update this list when I finish my Emsculpt.

3. Diet: More protein, more vegetables, more water and lesser intake of carbs. Carbs are important but i used to over-consume them. Cutting down has helped me a lot. I also did a gut bacteria test (you basically sent a piece of your shit to a lab and they analyse it) to understand what foods worked for me and what didnt. 

4. Probiotics for metabolism management 

5. Measuring: I stopped tracking weight and began tracking body fat % instead. I feel that this works better for me. 

6. Wood therapy: I KNOW. You lot will think its bogus but it helped me and im sticking to it, so there. There’s no wood therapy spa near me, so i ordered the wood therapy tools from amazon, plastic wrap, a waist trainer, almond oil. I looked up videos on wood therapy and lymphatic drainage, and i do it for about 5 mins on my tummy and thighs before my work outs, wrap my torso with plastic wrap, throw the waist trainer on top. 

✨

Skin:

Accutane: this helped me tremendously with my acne and my skin is 95% blemish free now. If you are taking this, remember to be disciplined and regular. 

Zero alcohol: I stopped drinking completely and its done my skin and health wonders.

Products: Sunscreen + Vitamin C combo in the AM. Retinol + moisturiser at night. Recommended by my dermat. 

Hair removal: I refuse to shave because its so uncomfortable so i prefer to wax once in 2 months. Personally, when I began exfoliating my body twice a week - I use a scrub by the Body Shop - I noticed that the hair was growing back slower than it used to. I use a loofah for everyday too. I don’t believe in laser because it’s never just 6 sessions; you do have to have “maintenance” sessions as well post the 6.

Face sculpting: Gua sha on alternative nights. I dont know if this works or is placebo, but I felt like it did. 

Body lotion every day. Twice a day sometimes. I swear, it makes you smell good and feel so soft. 

Expensive make up: specially, foundation. I’m sorry, i know this could be controversial. But idk what cow semen Charlotte Tilbury puts in her make up, it seriously makes me glow. I’m yet to find a good drug store alternative. A while back, I stopped wearing concealer, and I began using a lighter shade of CT’s foundation as concealer over my normal shade. I feel that because the products are chemically the same, they blend better and don’t react and “peel.” Highly recommend that too. For the rest of my face like powder, blush, eyeliner, I do use normal drug store make up.  

✨

Oral hygiene:

I used to have braces. After taking them off, I noticed a difference in my jaw.

Brush, floss, Listrine, tongue cleaner

Mild whitening. I think Hollywood level teeth whitening looks crazy and I want to look as “naturally” beautiful as possible.

✨

Hair care:

For hair growth: as recommended by my doc: minoxidil hair foam 5% w/w Tugain Foam.

High frequency wand before wash days on my scalp. 

Moroccan hair oil. I use a tiny amount everyday on my ends after I finish my make up for the day and I swear it makes my hair shine like crazy.

I also got hair Botox done because i used to have curly but absolutely unmanageable hair. I tried to make it work for years but i gave up and caved in to having permanent straight hair and I love it. 

I only shampoo twice a day so on days when i workout but don’t shampoo, i use hair perfume. I spray some of it on my brush and run it through my hair. I swear it works. 

✨

Overall:

The colour palette theory seriously works. I didn’t realise that wearing the right colours can impact you so much.

Confidence is absolutely key. I seriously recommend going to a group class of some sort if you have the time and just mingling with random people. Social situations are important to gauge your “standing.”

Random but if you have a big nose: grow out your eyebrows / fill them in slightly thicker. I noticed that when I had thin eyebrows, my nose would stand out more but when I made them thicker, it balanced my face out better. 

Steam iron your clothes before you wear them. You will look 100% put together. 

*IF* you’re aesthetically challenged when it comes to picking clothes, use my rule of thumb: never wear any more than 3 colours at once  (remember: IF you can’t put outfits together). 

[cerastes]

So, Tekken 8. I'm pleased with the direction it has fundamentally taken. In general, high profile fighting games have taken a far more welcoming approach towards newcomers, which is much needed and has thankfully gotten pretty good results so far: Street Fighter 6, for example, went lengths to provide a good, welcoming experience for new players, Granblue Rising retains its beginner friendly nature while expanding on systems to give it more depth at a higher level without stopping to be a fundamentally simple and 'easy' (but fun) fighting game with gorgeous flair, and Tekken 8 is following on the same road. It did this to some degree with Tekken 7, but Tekken 8 definitely goes a step further.

In general, Tekken 8 is much better geared towards user experience and perception than Tekken 7 was. I was a bit surprised to hear about friends that never really deal with Ranked in any game ever, tell me they were queueing up to climb the ladder. I started playing Tekken 8 a few days ago, and when I hopped into Ranked, I noticed small changes that carry a big impact with them in the UI, particularly in the loading screen pre-fight: What it shows.

So, in Tekken 7, you can see both players' Tekken Power, total wins as the character, rank, the results of their last 10 games, their 3 highest player tendencies, and personal match-up win and stage win rates.

That is a lot of information, and you'd usually think "more information is better, right?", I think in this case it was a double edged blade, however: If you're a newer player who's gotten wiggity washed four games in a row now, with your 13 total wins and 9k Tekken Power (or Prowess, as it was in 7) and your B/C/C tendencies, and get matched up a guy with a rank you've never seen before, with over 10 times your Power, triple S+es, 2.3k wins, on a 7 win streak... Well, you're probably going to be more than a little intimidated before the game even starts. For a lot of people, understandably, this immediately becomes the moment of "holy shit, I'm about to get ragdolled", so you go in with a different mentality than you might go against someone whose stats you don't know. Some people don't get affected by this, but a lot of people do, especially curious people that are trying to get into the games and might get put off when they mentally lose before the fight even starts.

In contrast, the Tekken 8 loading screen offers less information, but it's a far better user experience:

3 highest Tendencies, Tekken Power, Rank, and that's it. There's other stuff like console or PC, area, but it's otherwise a lot more laconic. And this works better! You just know their Power, their tendencies, their rank, and that's that. In the actual fight, you can see their current win streak, but no one can see if you or the opponent has 8 loses in a row. You don't know if they have 100 wins or 6000 wins, and so, you don't really think about it, you just go and fight. And if you lose, it's a world of difference to be "ok I got outplayed, that was some solid play from them" than it is to be "ok, yeah, they had ten times the amount of wins than I have lifetime games of Tekken, this was inevitable". So you can go and fight and win and keep playing. The user experience is much better.

I also really appreciate Arcade Quest: It's basically a short, very interactive tutorial: Instead of going through hours of dry tutorialing, a more inductive style like this is far better for newcomers, it's got basic, colorful characters, lots of tutorials peppered in throughout its run time, and a friendly coat of paint so you can get acquainted with the different systems at a nice pace: Your initial opponents are pushovers, letting you get a feel for movement and attacking, then you reach the third or so arcade, and your tutorial guy goes "hey, I heard they defend really well here, and they like opening you up with lows, let's learn how to deal with these" and you get your tutorials on how to open up opponents as well as dealing with lows, and then you fight the people in that arcade and it's mostly opponents like Law, Lili, Bryan, Dragunov, who have snake edges (strong low sweeps that offer good oki or launch for air combos, depending on whether its a counter hit or not) and their AI is specially geared to using these lows, as well as having better defense against highs so you use throws or lows. It's less a story mode and more a series of flavored tutorials, and I think it's really good for a game to have to ease players into the game's meatier systems.

The high level good ass Tekken is all there, it's just, there's a far more concise way of getting there for people that didn't grow up playing these games or had the raw gumption to deal with the sometimes Spartan fighting game community standards for onboarding. It's not a dirt road leading to the beach anymore, they paved it nice and easy so more people can get there, at their own pace, whether it be speeding there on a car, or through a nice leisurely stroll. It's something that I can appreciate both as someone who grew up in arcades playing fighting games with randos and regulars, and as someone that loves good, welcoming, efficient game design and wants more people to discover the joy of the fighting game.

[barid-bel-medar]

How do you expel an entire class? Did Aizawa simply tell you’re all expelled, walks away and wait for another teacher to make damage control?

That movement must make him:

1 Disliked by other fellow teachers (minus his friends i guess).

2 A PR nightmare for Nedzu and UA. Since there’s at least two recommended students.

3. Widely hated or feared for an entire promotion.

4. What about 1-B. Did they just assume the worst of them is better than the best 1-A?

5. How does the rivalry with Vlad King surge? Since there’s no competition at all.

6. What’s the true lesson behind all that? That an entire class needs to improve? That the worst batch goes into 1-A? That Aizawa is the most strict teacher and therefore the best?

Looking at that from all angles and just doesn’t work. How does Aizawa keep his job for more than a year. Did someone immediately re-enrrol the kids, apologize and swears them to silence? And, did all that shit show happens more than once?

I’ll never get how the Dadzawa wave started since before the very retcon!

Yeah the expulsion stuff causes a huge amount of problems when you start thinking about it. There should have been at minimum a huge surge of controversy long ago that resulted in Aizawa getting fired especially with the sheer number of students he's apparently expelled.

The biggest problem comes down to something I've noted before that Hori very clearly decided to make a bunch of Kakashi references with Aizawa, but also as clearly missed major reasons of why Kakashi can pull the shit he did with Team Seven and his earlier teams (namely the 'fail them back to the Academy' thing).

For one thing, things like the bell test? Were something all the genin teachers did; we see Team Gai's version in a flashback at one point. It's referenced as a thing all versions of Team Seven have done, meaning Kakashi isn't even the one who originally came up with it or the point of the lesson it taught. For another, these kids are literally about to start an active career in a field that will easily kill them. If they aren't ready for it, they're going to die, full stop and do need the additional Academy time. The 1-A kids are just about to start training to get to their careers in heroics. The expulsion thing isn't something a single other teacher does. Another big issue with Aizawa?

He's not someone that the vast, vast majority would give two shits about being trained by.

At the end of the day, Aizawa is just some random underground hero. He's not a famous pro that the kids are super excited to be being taught by. He's basically just some guy who happens to have a hero license when it comes down to it. Izuku, noted hero fanboy, didn't recognize Aizawa even, just his Quirk. Like if he was someone that people badly wanted to be taught by or was widely admired as a hero, then you could get away with people being more willing to brush aside the expulsion shit, but he's not. Kakashi over in Naruto is one of the most elite ninja in the village. He's someone people would love to have teach them and pass on that level of skill. Eliteness is something that makes a lot of people much more willing to look away from your bullshit.

(As bad as All Might is at teaching, you're still going to want to be taught by him just to say you were)

Even if you want to make the argument of 'well UA would want to have Aizawa at UA because Erasure is helpful to have if a student's quirk gets out of control while training', that only works if he's one of the practical lesson teachers, not a homeroom teacher. We're given no sign he's even around while 1-A is having practical lessons, aka a very reasonable time for him to be around to prevent an accident from happening.

The expulsion thing I think was definitely one of the things Hori's referencing when he talks about how he wishes he had made different writing choices for some characters at the start of the series.

[catboybiologist]

I'm trans! Here's a way-too-long ramble on my internal thoughts on that!

My other posts on this:

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725852054829023232/im-going-to-document-some-things-about-my?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725851397783011328/the-short-answer-is-no-but-im-gonna-have-a?source=share

So yay I’m trans! Which like, is neither unexpected nor abnormal for the community I’ve fostered here, so I’m guessing most of y’all’s reactions is just a “hey cool”. But, you see the online side of me, not the irl side, so there’s still a lot of thoughts to sort out on my end. So I’m dumping a lot of thoughts here to sort all that out. And hoooly shit, it got very long, and I still feel like I have more to say… but yeah. If you wanna hear some perspectives on my relation to gender, transness, and femboy culture, read on!

I guess the best way I can think to style this is as an interview with an imaginary third person, sooo…. Bold text is questions I can imagine people having LOL

So what’s my own personal relationship with the term femboy, catboy, and gendered terminology in general? Is the name of your accounts gonna change?

Short answer, no. I like the name CatboyBiologist. “Catboy” itself is a term that is completely untethered from gender at this point to me. Tbqh, the “cat” part feels more wrong than the boy part- as time goes on, I’ve generally ditched the cat ears for most of my outfits as I take them a bit more seriously. Maybe that’ll change when my transition actually starts, but for now, CatboyBiologist stays, and the femboy related language stays in all of my own past posts (keyword, past- more on that in a bit).

I’m not gonna be updating my approach to pronouns. Any pronouns do just fine, I’m sending a vibe into the world and pronouns are my feedback as to what other people interpret that vibe is. Default to they/them if you don’t know what to do with that.

I will be updating my pinned post to link all of these posts, but mostly copy/paste the information from before. That might take a moment cuz I’m lazy, tbh.

And let’s get something else out of the way.

I’m not socially transitioning yet, and probably won’t for a while.

Which, I think leads to a lot of follow up:

Well, why not?

I present fully male and masculine on a day to day basis, and look the part too. Part of it is just this looks insecurity. The mask stays on in my pictures for a reason. Beyond just facial hair (which grows aggressively on me and always shows some shadow), my face looks pretty masculine overall. It takes time to look the way I do in my posts. I wanna give my face and body some time to change so I can look more femme in more casual ways before I present it to the world.

Beyond that, I’m also just worried about being “accepted” as femme straight off the bat. Implicitly, I know this will be easier if I already have some small amounts of physical feminization down my belt.

There’s two main environments that worry me: family, and professionally. Family is a weird hot mess grey area that is too personal to talk about here, but the professional atmosphere is certainly going to be a bit… weird. I live in an accepting geographic region, and around people who are very outspokenly trans supportive…. But most of whom are cishet and simply don’t have a lot of experience seeing or working around trans people. I’m more afraid of being seen as “trans first, biologist second” as far as my career is concerned, than I am about outright transphobia. I know this will never fully go away, and given that I’m 6’2”, I’ll probably never “fully” pass- but I’d at least like people to implicitly read my as femme on a gut level before I start changing how I present that way. One thing my irl femboy experience has shown me is that, even if people can “clock” you intellectually, the way their gut instinct reads you affects whether they treat you as masc or femme. I hope that makes sense on some level. Of course its always going to be an awkward shift, but I hope some time on HRT will make it less awkward.

I’ve come out to one person that doesn’t know about this online persona, or the depths of my queerness. They straight up told me they were shocked. They were incredibly supportive, but they told me they didn’t see it coming at all. And they already knew that I “crossdressed occasionally”. So that’s kinda what I’m working with here.

Essentially, I’m not actually truly “transitioning” in a real sense yet. More than that, I feel like I’m getting the ball rolling. If there’s anything I learned in my research, it’s that HRT takes a while, much longer than anyone expects (suppressing my rant about how the media cherrypicks people in early transition for trans representation and the effect that has on public perception). Two years is often cited as the “end” point, but based on both scientific and anecdotal accounts, that is wildly untrue and variable. I also know that the first changes onset quickly (skin and mood, most notably), but that overall body shape changes sometimes take a VERY long time to start and progress. So to be quite honest, I barely feel like I’m transitioning yet, I’m just laying groundwork for the future.

So yeah. I’m gonna be boymoding for a bit. Possibly a year or more. Even for the people who know, I’ve still asked them to address me as he/him or they/them, and use my masculine name for now (haven’t even really decided on a femme name yet, although I have ideas [open to suggestions as well]).

Wait, so why address it online at all?

Put simply, honesty. I’m displaying a lot of selfies and experimentation with my look here, and I want to make it abundantly clear what I’m doing to have an effect on that. People have asked me if I’m on HRT in comments before, and like, I’m not gonna lie about that. Might as well also make a shitpost, a data gathering post, and a too-long ramble about it as well (which you’re reading now!).

There are a LOT of body image issues in femboy spaces (and trans spaces too!), often among very young people. While I have no issue with people on HRT continuing to call themselves a femboy (more on that in a bit), I do think transparency on that matter is helpful for those body image issues.

So to make it abundantly clear: all of my selfies and pictures that I’m labeling and tagging as “femboy” are pre-HRT. In the future, everything I tag with “trans” is post-HRT. I still got 1-2 weeks before actually starting, and I’m still going to use the femboy tag for any outfits I post during that time. The moment an estradiol pill hits my mouth, though, new pics will use trans tags.

Posts that relate to discussion of the interplay of the communities, and how I view myself within them, I’ll tag with both.

Which leads to another follow up question. This one isn’t about me specifically, but it’s my hot take about a certain brand of trans discourse I’ve seen around (mostly on reddit tbh):

Why would someone who knows they’re mtf trans willingly call themselves a femboy and/or request people to “misgender” them?

So this is actually gonna be striking a nerve with me, and I know I’m gonna kinda be strawmanning here by arguing against the ghost of reddit comments past. I’m not gonna try to dig any of them up in the internet archive, but they are sentiments I’ve seen multiple times.

I’ve seen this question almost word for word in the comments of trans subreddits multiple times. Imma be blunt, and it’s maybe gonna sound a little mean. If this thought is going through your head, you’re likely way more sensitive and particular about labels than most people. And that’s okay! Ask people to address you how you want, you deserve that respect! But the real answer to this question is that many people simply don’t mind being called whatever label is most useful or familiar to themselves in various contexts.

The moment that it becomes completely unacceptable is when someone does actually change their pronouns, name, presentation, etc, and people still address them as “male” or “femboy”. That is completely the fuck out of line, and if you don’t agree, fuck off.

Why does this strike a little bit of a nerve with me? Well, the “conclusion” I saw reached in these trans spaces multiple times when the subject was brought up was annoying as hell. That conclusion was that the only or primary reason that people labeled themselves a femboy, even while on HRT… was to sell their onlyfans. My fucking god, seriously? This is just conservative rhetoric. Luckily, on tumblr, it seems that people are a lot more accepting towards people using whatever language they like to describe themselves, which I’ve enjoyed a lot.

I’ve also had a lot of hate towards “fencesitting” directed at me on reddit, from trans people, for calling myself a femboy. I can’t remember it verbatim, but I very distinctly recall getting a DM that went something like “I fucking hate femboys, just transition already. You’re making us (transfemmes) look bad.” So yeah. Bit of a sore spot.

Yadda yadda yadda the personal journey shit

If I can be real for a moment…. In an ideal world, I would still want to be a part time femboy. Even moreso than the sheer utility of it all (eg, enjoy cis male privilege when I want, but still get treated more femme in certain contexts), it feels almost more profound to fuck with gender norms without sitting on one side of the gender line or another. But I can’t really ignore what I’ve described as my “mental resting state”- a baseline crackle of dysphoria that fills the space in my head when there’s nothing else to fill it. It’s easily distracted, but its always there, and I can’t imagine living my life that way anymore.

I’ve pretty much known I was trans since I was about 12, and had a realization that puberty was just starting to hit me, and I hated it. I suppressed it deeply, for many, many reasons that I don’t think I want to share here. But it made a lot of other mental health struggles in my life a lot worse, even if I didn’t consciously acknowledge that’s what was happening. By the time I was willing to consciously acknowledge it, I realized that my dysphoria wasn’t so bad as to dive in right away. But, I made moves to stabilize my life overall, which have been massively beneficial to me in other ways as well.

During the pandemic, I found myself living alone for the first time ever. So during the pandemic, in one last ditch effort to try to convince myself I wasn’t trans, I delved into femboy aesthetics to try and “just be a feminine man”.

That failed.

So yeah, here I am. I have a wonderful queer community both irl and online, a meagre but stable income, health insurance that has great coverage for trans care, and accepting people around me in my life. It’s long overdue. Maybe I’ll beat myself up for waiting so long and masculinizing so much as a result, but I don’t think I really could have done it any other way.

This all said, I don’t actually really consider myself a woman yet. I’m sure many of you are aware of two different ways transfemmes view themselves(and trans people in general, but using a transfemme perspective here):

-Some view themselves as having always been girls or women, but took some time to realize it and make their body more comfortable for themselves with that information.

-Others view themselves as boys or men who made efforts to become women later.

I fall strongly in the second line of thinking for myself. For my own personal experiences, even though I have felt dysphoria for a long time, I don’t really think I’m “actually” a woman yet. I don’t know what my identity as a woman looks like yet. But I deeply want to discover and create who that person is, and there’s no way to do that without transitioning.

B but… BASIC BIOLOGY!!!!!

How many biology degrees do you have? I got a BS and an MS, and I’m working on my PhD. I’m sure you’ve brought a similar level of expertise to this discussion.

But seriously, I could genuinely write an entire fucking essay about how studying biology has influenced my views on this subject, but honestly, that’s an entirely different topic. But tl;dr is that bioessentialism is brainrot, and if someone tries to use essentialist language to “justify” someone’s transness (or gender in general)… well, I think they’re wrong. Plain and simple. We don’t say someone isn’t “really able to see” if they put glasses in front of their eyes.

I’m stopping myself before I write more here, because this warrants another post or even a fucking video essay, to be quite honest. But yeah. Biology based.

Conclusion?

Uhhhh… in conclusion, I’m not particular about language or pronouns you use for me, I’m making posts about it anyways to ensure honesty associated with my selfies, if you’re transphobic jump of the tallest bridge you can find. I think that about covers it.

[rayshippouuchiha]

Uzumaki Child Raising Tactic #12

Is your child causing wide spread destruction by unleashing Chakra waves of at least A-rank potency?

First determine the cause for their actions

A. Boredom

B. Chakra overload

C. Chakra High

D. Orders from the leader of the local charter of the Island-wide organised playmate group to distract the adults while they seize the sweet cabinets

E. Emotionally Overwhelmed or Overstimulation via Sensory Overload

F. For shits and giggles

G. Other

If A. Provide child with Category 4 explosive seal work

If B. Provide child with Chakra intensive activity. Ex. Unleash them upon the Chakra chain training grounds until Chakra levels decrease or have them work on Chakra intensive fuuinjutsu.

If C. Slowly wean them off the high by providing them with Chakra circulation exercises. Ex. Sea walking or Ocean worship dances

If D. Negotiate with the Boss. If talks fall through, call the Uzukage.

If E. Refer to the Psychology section for Communication, Attention Disorders, and sensory information processing. If possible provide them with an animal companion, for example, a full grown bear, or a shark.

If F. Let it run its course and suffer. But if it continues prank them back and declare prank feud.

If G. Perish

The Sannin reading through the book.

Orochimaru: well he got himself a bear

Tsunade: Mito-obaasama gave me a bear to play with once. Worked wonders

Jiraiya: Should be fine then.

Meanwhile Naruto to the bear: I know I know they're stupid but they've got a decent amount of money... At least one of them does so we're sticking it out.

The Bear: 🐻

No no that makes it all so much better.

The Sannin are trying to raise this child to be semi-adjusted.

Meanwhile Naruto is like "I am going to be a literal sugar baby" because he fully intended to bite Jiraiya and escape when the old man first grabbed him but then he felt Jiraiya's jacket, realized it was super high quality and decided to stick it out for a bit to see what was happening.

The three disasters are trying to raise this child and Naruto's tagging alone and wondering what it'll take to make sure he's in all 3 of their wills.

[seat-safety-switch]

There’s no way you can get tired of a vehicle as majestic as the Dodge Monaco. When you’re like me, and you’ve spent your entire working life scrambling around in a harem of bastard F-body heaps, the B-body Monaco is practically a luxury car. Look at this: it’s got a rear seat that you can put adult humans in! And the cigarette lighter isn’t just a little sticker reading “bring your own.” Yes indeed, I don’t think cars can get any better than the 1977 Monnie.

Sure, the engine is still as smog-obsessed and down on power as anything else from its era. Folks were eating out of garbage cans and roaming the streets looking for spilled gasoline to suck into their land barges, just so they could get to their jobs, where they were summarily laid off because the CEO spent this week’s cocaine money on 87 octane for his Rolls. It was a dark time. The sixties were a long time ago, and folks wanted fuel efficiency without doing terrifying Japanese things like “maybe make the engine less shit.” A smaller engine uses less fuel! A lower-compression engine will use worse fuel! 

In fact, I’m so impressed with this Monaco, that I tell the owner I am willing to make a very generous offer. One thousand dollars, by far the most I have spent on any car. His lips curl back in revulsion, and he attempts to push me out of the car. This attempt fails: by 1977, the eggheads at Mopar Central had figured out how to make doors that latch! Once his sense of calmness and level-headedness return, he tells me that he was thinking more like forty-five thousand dollars, which I think is about as much as it costs to put on a moon mission. I let myself out at 85 km/h after turning the steering wheel hard right just to make my own displeasure noted.

Once I have rolled to a complete stop in the ditch, I walk a couple feet to find one of my many hoarded Volares, cleverly scattered across the tri-state area so that I don’t have to walk very far once any of my other Volares break down. This particular one is a handsome 1976 model – an early one! – whose only flaw is a serious amount of whisky dings and a missing headlight, maybe caused by the rock which it is currently crashed into. Back to the working-class car for me, I tell myself. I reach into my pocket, and pull out my janitor-sized keyring. You don’t actually need that many keys to own this many Volares: Plymouth, never all that detail-oriented when they were sober, got especially sloppy when they were making the door locks, so at least half of these keys will open any single one of them. Just another example of how they really understood people like me. For us working stiffs, we can’t be spending all day rooting through our keys to figure out which one starts our cars.

[toluene-sister]

Hello!

I am in love with LISMBWYD! Circling back to TDK movie, is there a moment you feel where J's romantic/sexual attraction for Batman definitively begins? Or if not begins, then crystallizes? Or, does this start earlier, before the movie even starts? I know J talks about how enamored he was watching Batman dangle Flass off the building in BB, but is that infatuation rooted in something more even then? I'm also curious if you think it's as early as TDK where J clocks that Batman is Bruce - at what point he starts putting two and two together.

And then lastly - completely randomly - I love that moment in an early chapter with Sofia where she declares she knows how Joker got his scars, very much implying they weren't self inflicted. So, so, so curious to know more!

Thank you

X

Hi! <3

Thank you so, so much! I'm really glad you're enjoying the story so far :) The way I see it, Joker was immediately drawn to Batman, and I would even go as far as saying Batman was the one who gave him the impulse to become the Joker as we know him (Gordon's little speech at the end of Batman Begins indicates as much). One day J just saw Bats and was all like, finally someone on my level, finally a reason to get out of bed in the morning, finally someone who could match my freak <3

In the interrogation scene, he's giving B all of his best angles and speaks in a lower voice (which is like, a common thing guys do around people they're attracted to XD), plus all the shit he says ("you complete me", "maybe we could share one [a padded cell]")--like, these aren't things you just say to a guy, you know? He wouldn't say any of that to Dent or any other character, not even to fuck with them. Batman truly is special to him. I remember reading in some old interview that Heath himself said his Joker had some sort of mad love for Batman (of course I won't be able to find it with the way the internet is nowadays, but I remember it very distinctly), so all of this was definitely intentional, and suggests romantic attraction from the very beginning.

As for when I think he would clock Bruce to be Batman--I'm pretty sure he did during the interrogation scene. I mean, the fact that Bruce and Rachel were close must have been public knowledge (Bruce being the Prince of Gotham and Rachel being the Assistant DA, plus B talks about her being his oldest friend during the fundraiser, so it's entirely possible he would refer to her as such during other functions). So as soon as J ruled out Dent being Batman, it wasn't hard to deduce who's the other guy in that woman's life who would absolutely risk his life for her, and who just happens to have disgusting amounts of money and resources to be able to finance that type of gear and pull off shit like snatching Lau from Hong Kong and bringing him back to Gotham.

I'm glad you enjoyed that bit about his scars! J and Sofia are going to have a little talk about it in the upcoming chapter, but I still need to work out a few details, so it might take me a while before it's ready, but I hope it doesn't disappoint :)

[bunny7567]

I got you - chapter 6

Pairing: Rex x Jedi!ofc

Word count: 4.6k Tags/Warnings: ptsd; mentions of sexual harassment; things with Rex get a little steamy... barely but it's still there; otherwise this chapter is pretty fluffy; Echo is pure and innocent

Previous chapter │Next chapter

Lexie was sat cross-legged underneath the Great Tree, eyes closed, trying to meditate. She had tried going to bed earlier that night, but the moment the door slid shut behind her and she had found herself alone in the room, her anxiety started raising. She tried to ignore it, she had turned off the light and gotten into bed, but though the darkness of the room, her tired brain thought for just a second that the clothes rack by the door was a B-1 droid and she had sent it flying through the room before coming back to her senses.

She used to love her privacy before, but now she found herself actually envious of the clones, all cramped up in communal dormitories, but never alone. Would it work better, sleeping on the base? Knowing that a few levels below an entire battalion of soldiers was sleeping, ready to jump into action at a second’s notice? If being in a temple full of Jedi wasn’t working she doubted the barracks would, but it was worth a try anyway.

She knew what would work, what had worked the previous night, but she could not just go up to Rex and ask that. And it wasn’t proper anyway. She needed to get her shit together and act like a Jedi, and like a general.

The day had gone a lot faster than she had expected. Lexie had felt relieved and at ease after the conversation she had with the men in the mess hall that morning. But it did not last long. Upon reaching the Temple she was summoned by the Council. Fear and anxiety overwhelmed her mind as she approached the Council room, worrying that they had found out about her lies. Maybe Rex had informed them of her not remembering Geonosis after all.

Would he do that? Betray her now after she felt they had made so much progress in their relationship? And would it matter if she remembered more about her Trials now? The memories were still foggy and incoherent, but she remembered a lot more than when she was knighted, and she also had a bit more confidence that she deserved to hold that title.

But it wasn’t just her that had been summoned; inside the room she found Anakin already in the centre of the Council’s circle. They were still unaware of her memory problems, as it turned out. They were, however, aware of her failure on Erosh-4.

“From you an account of what happened, to hear we would like”, Master Yoda had addressed her after she stepped in the circle by the side of her friend.

“We know the details of the plan, so jump right to what went wrong”, Master Plo Koon’ holo-form said.

Lexie used all her mental strength to calm her mind. She thought about repeating the account Rex had given Anakin after the mission, but could she successfully keep the details to herself? And what if they knew she was omitting parts of the story? Did they know about the scout report?

No, she had to face the consequences.

“Certainly, Master”, she said a bit shaky, clasping her hands behind her back and standing tall. “The terrain of the canyon proved more difficult than anticipated and my platoon was behind schedule. That is why, when informed by our scouts of a droid presence outside our exit from the canyon, I chose to continue ahead. Our intel turned out to not be accurate, the droids vastly outnumbered us and there were also at least a dozen tanks present, so we suffered numerous casualties. We had to retreat back into the canyon and call for a medevac”.

“Are you aware that the ‘numerous casualties’ amount to almost the entire platoon?”, Master Windu asked coldly.

“I am, Master. It has weighed heavily on me these past few days”, Lexie admitted. “I was arrogant and careless; I am deeply ashamed of it. I have apologised to the men this morning and I can assure you, as I assured them, that I will do better in the future”.

“You apologised to the clone troopers?”, Obi-Wan’s hologram asked.

“I did, Master”

“Well, I think that should ease our worries”, Obi-Wan said to his fellow Council members. “Master al’Prani would never have admitted to any wrongdoings this candidly”.

Lexie’s eyebrows shot up. Did everyone think she would act like her former master? Anger bubbled up inside of her, mostly directed at herself. She had wanted to act as confident and unbothered as he would but what she had succeeded doing was mimic his coldness.

“Since you are accepting responsibility for the unfortunate outcome of your mission and know you have to do better in the future I believe there is no need for us to intervene any further”, Master Windu spoke calmly. “You will be receiving your new assignments soon”.

“Dismissed for now the two of you are. Unless, something to add you have, young Skywalker, hmm?”, Yoda asked.

Lexie turned her head to look at her friend. Is this what this was? Had he come before them to voice concerns about her? After everything she had confided in him, did he really believe she would ever be as cruel as her Master? And to not even give her the courtesy of talking to her first, before throwing her in front of the Council.

“No, Master”, Anakin responded, bowing his head in respect.

As soon as the door slid shut behind them, Lexie turned to Anakin. “Really? You couldn’t talk to me face to face before running to the Council?”

“What are you talking about?”, he asked angrily as he walked down the stairs. “I was summoned by them just like you were. And I did try to talk to you, last night and two nights ago, but you weren’t here”.

“So you didn’t go in there to say you’re worried I’m like al’Prani? To ask to have me removed from the battalion?”, she said, her frustration faltering.

“What? No! Lexie, come on. I was a bit concerned I admit it. But I know you better than that. And I also know Rex and he would not have lied to cover for someone he thought was a liability to his men”.

“He didn’t technically lie to you, just didn’t give the whole story”, Lexie said quietly.

“And was that the whole story? Or is there anything else I should know?”, he asked her, a look of concern on his face.

Lexie wasn’t sure what to respond. Should she tell him that the retreat order had come so late because she choked out there? That her connection to the Force felt off? Maybe he had experienced it too during battle, that overwhelming feeling of death. Would she seem weak to admit all that to him?

Before she had a chance to say anything else, Ahsoka called to her Master from across the hall, then jogged to catch up with them. The young Padawan eagerly reminded Anakin of the training he had promised her and Lexie found herself roped into joining them in the training room, demonstrating for Ahsoka the use of her dual lightsabers, her preferred forms and combat style. She seemed to show great interest in the Jar'Kai method and Lexie was happy to humour her. Anakin had even excused himself after a while, leaving Lexie in charge of the training session. By the time the two of them were done most of the day had slipped away.

Lexie got up from under the Great Tree and made her way to the barracks. Her thoughts wandered to her home. The bright red leaves of the Secca tree should be turning pale pink soon, as the planet approaches its cold season. She remembered the old tree in the public gardens of the Palace and how she and Myria would run laps around it and how Anara would plead with them to behave. No, stop thinking about it.

She hated when she got so nostalgic. Lexie didn’t really think she could go to bed right now, her mind felt too awake, but maybe if she tired herself enough before by hitting the training facilities it would quiet down. What level had she gotten off the lift last night? The base still felt like a maze to her.

She ended up on the command level, walking down the corridor she recalled she should have an office on. Rex also had an office here, she remembered. But it was quite late, he’d surely be in bed by this time, right? She found the door he had shown her, no harm in checking if anyone is in there.  

Her hand pressed the buzzer and to her surprise a muffled voice sounded from behind the door. As it slid open, Lexie’s eyes landed on Rex, sat down behind a desk, head in one hand, elbow resting on the desk, datapad in the other hand and a tired look on his face. His eyes went wide as he glanced at her and he stood up at attention so fast, the chair he was sitting on fell backwards, hitting the metal floor with a loud thud.

“Didn’t mean to startle you, Captain”, Lexie said with a small laugh, moving her hand as she used the Force to lift the chair back up.

Rex glanced at the chair as it was levitated from the ground, his face going red in embarrassment. “I was certain it’d be Kix barging in here to try and get me to call it a night, not you, General, that’s all”.

“Oh, well, sorry for barging in”, she said raising her eyebrows in an amused expression.

“I... no that’s not what I meant”, Rex muttered, face blushing deeper.

“Honey, you really need to relax a bit”, she laughed as she approached the desk.

Rex replied with a small snort. A warm feeling stirred inside his chest at her use of “honey”. A feeling Rex desperately tried to ignore. Why did he like it so much to hear her call him that?

“How come you’re up so late?”, she asked from the other side of his desk.

“I could ask you the same thing”, he responded.

“Same reason as last night”, Lexie admitted with a sad smile. “What’s your reason?”

Rex looked into her eyes for a moment, trying to gauge the intention behind them. Would he overstep if he offered to spend the night in her room again? Was that why she was here in the first place? She needed to sleep and if he had to sacrifice his comfort for a few nights until she felt safe on her own again he was happy to do it. He couldn’t understand why, but he wanted to please her, to see her happy.

“Rex?”, her voice snapped him from his thoughts.

“Yes, sorry”, his hand reached for the back of his neck. “I was catching up on some reports”.

“Erosh-4 reports?”, she asked, her voice suddenly sombre.

Rex’s lips formed a thin line as he nodded yes.

Lexie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had to let go of all these emotions, it’s not the Jedi way to linger on the past. “I really need to remember to write mine too”, she said quietly.

She looked at Rex, neither of them saying anything for a few moments.

“I should probably let you get back to it, then”, Lexie broke the silence.

“No, it’s alright. I am almost done anyway, can leave the rest for tomorrow”, he said as he turned the screen of the datapad off. “Shall I escort you back to your room?”.

“Thank you, Captain. I really need a map of this place. You know I was actually trying to find the training level, not sure how I ended up here”, she said light-heartedly.

“You’ll get the hang of it eventually”, he assured her as they started walking down the corridors.

“Did you struggle with orientation when you first got here?”, she asked him after a pause in conversation.

“No. But I spent a couple hours committing the layout of the base to memory as soon as I knew where I’d been assigned to”, he replied matter-of-factly.

“Of course you did”, Lexie accidentally said out loud.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Rex asked with a snort.

Shit. “Well, you know… you are a bit uptight”, she said sheepishly.

Rex gave her an unamused look.

“That was just my first impression, sorry”, she tried to excuse it. “I think it’s just because I’m having a more difficult time reading you than with your brothers”.

“You’ve been trying to read me, Sir?”, he asked, a trace of playfulness in his voice.

“No! n-no, not actively trying… just what I would normally get from being around others”, she felt her face going red. “Your mental walls are just a lot better than I expected”.

“Ventress got into my head during a mission a few months ago. I… I really didn’t like how it felt so I asked Ahsoka for some pointers on how to make sure it didn’t happen again”, he admitted.

“I wasn’t trying to do that, I’m just not used to getting so little from someone that’s not Force-sensitive. I wouldn’t just push my way into your head I promise”, she said a little too fast.

“I appreciate that”, he said as they reached her door.

Lexie glanced at the door hesitantly. Would it really be so inappropriate to ask for him to stay again? They didn’t do anything wrong last night, he was just making sure she felt safe enough to sleep. She was struggling with the effects of being in battle, that was all, she would be able to eventually move on from this fear and anxiety and things will get back to normal. But it would be more difficult to get her anxious mind under control if she was sleep deprived, the breakdown in the training room was proof of that. She had to be in her best form in order to be an effective leader, this was for the good of the men ultimately.

Before she talked herself into asking him, Rex spoke, having noticed her hesitation.

“Would you want me to keep watch again? I don’t mind”, he said softly.

“Look who’s reading who now”, she replied with an embarrassed chuckle.

He smiled and pressed the button to opened the door, stepping in after her. The chair was in the same position he had left it in, Lexie had forgotten to move it back under the desk, and Rex strode right to it, before hesitating.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to remove the upper part of my armor. It would be a little bit more comfortable”, he said suddenly nervous.

“No, of course. I already feel bad enough for making you sleep on a chair”, she replied.

A thought crossed her mind of asking him to just lay on the bed, making her slightly blush. That would absolutely cross every line.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve slept in worse conditions”, he reassured her, beginning to unclasp the armor pieces on his arms and carefully placing them on the desk.

Rex made sure to face the other side of the room as he saw her go into the bathroom to get changed. He couldn’t allow himself to gawk at her in that nightshirt again. He remained focused on arranging the pieces of armor that he had finished taking off, only turning and taking his seat after he was sure she had gotten into bed.

“Thank you… for doing this”, Lexie said quietly.

“Don’t mention it”, he replied with a small smile. “Goodnight, Lexie”.

“Goodnight, Rex”.

Lexie woke up before her alarm again. She usually hated when that happened, but on this occasion she didn’t mind it as much. That’s because on this occasion it gave her 14 minutes of being entranced by Rex’s sleeping form.

His legs were stretched, arms crossed, his head bowed into his chest. He looked so peaceful. Lexie observed the way his shoulders would rise with every slow and steady breath, her eyes lowering to the well-defined muscles on his arms. Those arms could probably lift her so easily and hold her against the wall and-

She shook her head, trying to get the image out of her mind. She could not allow herself to start fantasizing about him like that. Yes, he was extremely attractive, perhaps one of the most attractive men she’s ever met; actually, he somehow seemed more attractive than the thousands of others whose face he shared, but he was her captain, her subordinate, she could not follow that line of thought.

Rex let out a small groan as he began to wake up and leaned his head back. One was his hands moved to the back of his neck, slowly rubbing the stiff muscles. His head moved from side to side as he fluttered his eyes open, gaze landing on Lexie who was sat up in bed.

“How’d you sleep?”, he asked, voice a bit coarse.

“Really well actually. Is your neck stiff?”, she responded.

“A little, yes”, he said continuing the side to side movement.

“Here, let me help”, Lexie said as she shifted closer to the edge of the bed. Her left hand lifted, reaching to the back of his neck, fingers slowly massaging the muscles, while her right hand rested on Rex’s thigh.

A deep blush crept across Rex’s face at the unexpected physical contact, eyes going wide for just a moment, before closing them and giving into the pleasant sensation. Her fingers gently moved up, reaching the base of his skulls and slowly circling over the skin. Lexie must have touched a particularly good spot, a small grunt of pleasure audible in the deep breath that Rex let out.

Her hand abruptly pulled away from his neck as her alarm started ringing. She felt her cheeks getting warm as she got up from bed to turn it off. What in the galaxy had compelled her to just touch him like that? Not that it seemed to have bothered him, but it was still inappropriate. She turned around, finding Rex stood right behind her. He was a head taller than her and that, plus the toned muscles visible through his blacks, were making him appear quite intimidating.

“Could I…”, he said gesturing with his head to the pieces of armor placed on the desk right behind where Lexie was stood.

“S-Sorry”, she rapidly moved, grabbing her robes and ducking into the fresher to change. Maker why was she suddenly so unsettled?

She had joined the men for breakfast again, oblivious to the looks that had been exchanged between them as she and Rex walked into the mess hall together.

“I’ll get us something to eat”, Rex told her as they reached the table.

“Thank you, Captain. I’m not particularly hungry, just some caf will do”, she replied.

“You need to eat, General, I’ll bring you something small”, he walked away before she could protest.

Jesse was sat next to Kix and Hardcase this morning so Lexie sat down opposite them, next to Fives and Echo.

“You’re here early, General”, Jesse said as she took a seat.

“I spent the night here, in my room”, she responded.

They made some small talk for a while, before Rex returned with a tray and sat down next to Lexie. He placed a cup of caf and a bowl in front of her, reassuring her that it was something she could safely eat.

“Say, General, where did you find the Captain? We were looking for him before, but no one could locate him”, Fives said after a few moments, from her right.

She picked up on the trooper’s sly tone of voice.

“He was in his office”. She wasn’t technically lying, that was where she had found him. Last night.

“Didn’t you check his office, Jesse?”, Fives continued.

“I did; must’ve just missed them”, Jesse replied in a similar tone of voice.

With the corner of her eye, Lexie caught the annoyed expression on the Captain’s face. So Rex’s rank didn’t spare him from brotherly teasing; she thought it was cute.

“Have you and General Skywalker worked together before, Sir?”, Kix addressed Lexie, changing the subject for Rex’s sake and earning a thankful look from the Captain.

“Yes we did”, Lexie replied. “We’ve been friends ever since he joined the Order. We trained together frequently and, in the last 2-3 years before the war started, I accompanied him and Obi-Wan on several missions”.

“What exactly did the Jedi do on missions before the war?”, Hardcase asked.

“Well, all sorts of things. Really depends on our roles within the Order. My Master was training me to be a Shadow, so I did a lot of undercover, information-gathering type of work, for example. Spent a great deal of time in the underworld of various planets”.

“Sounds dangerous”, Echo said from his place at the end of the table.

“It was”, she said trying to sound unbothered.

Her mind drifted to all the time she had spent in shady cantinas in different parts of the galaxy ever since she was 14, and to all the vile grown men who had made her unwanted advances even though she was clearly underage. She felt a familiar feeling of anger rise in her chest. She hated al’Prani for putting her in those situations, and leaving her alone to fend for herself. “Men talk when they’re drunk, Padawan. And they talk to a woman they’re trying to get into bed”, his words sounded in her mind. She pushed the bowl of porridge that she had barely touched away from her. She was suddenly nauseous. Move on.

“Huh”, she exclaimed remembering something. “I actually have a story you lot might find interesting. I met Jango Fett during one of those missions. Spent four rotations working with him, pretending to be an aspiring bounty hunter”.

“Really, Sir?”, Jesse exclaimed. “What was he like? We’ve never actually met him, he only personally trained a couple batches of ARCs, didn’t interact with the rest of us”.

“Oh, I kriffin’ hated him. He was ruthless, meticulous, really good at his job yes, but also really fucking arrogant if I’m honest. Although I probably would’ve like him more had I seen his face, but he did not take his helmet off the entire time I was with him. Got to give it to the Kaminoans though, they have great taste in choosing templates”.

Her jaw clenched as she realised what she let slip and her cheeks began to feel very warm. I should not have kriffing said that.

“So you think we’re good looking then?”, Fives’ teasing voice sounded from her right.

Lexie let out a nervous half-cough, half-laugh and turned her head to look at the trooper next to her. Good luck finding your way out of this one.

“Well, I suppose it’s not the worst face to have to constantly see around you”, she said trying to appear nonchalant.

Fives flashed her a playful grin and opened his mouth to continue flirting but was interrupted by the Captain standing up and clearing his throat.

“If everyone is done with their grub I suggest we go and start prepping for the inspection”, he said sternly.

Shit! Lexie downed the last of her caf, trying not to let the panic appear on her face. She had completely forgotten about the troops inspection. With the Council’s summons and Ahsoka’s training, it had completely slipped her mind. She had not once looked over the reg manuals the day before.

The men got up to leave and she reluctantly followed. She had about an hour, was that enough time to run back to her room and read about the procedure? Not if she got lost in the damn corridors again which she knew was a possibility.

“Echo!”, she called in an urgent whisper motioning for the trooper to slow down and wait for her.

“Yes, Sir?”, he said as he came to a halt.

“Do you know what to do during an inspection?”, she asked quietly, after making sure there was some distance between Rex and the two of them.

“Yes, General, I know what I have to do, it’s not my first one”, he answered naively, not catching her meaning.

“I’m glad you know what to do but what I meant is do you know what I have to do?”, she said a little exasperated.

“Oh. Have you not read the reg manuals?”, he asked, receiving a look from Lexie. “Right… well there’s not that much to it really. The battalion assembles at attention and you have to walk through the lines, making sure armor and weapons look clean and in proper condition. Then there’s the barracks inspection, you will be accompanied by the Captain to check that the sleeping and communal areas are all in order, and then-”

They were interrupted by Rex clearing his throat beside them. The Captain was glaring at them with a frown on his face.

“Captain, I was-”, Echo started nervously.

“You’re not the one in trouble, honey”, Lexie stopped him. “You can go. Thanks for the help”, she said with a small smile.

Echo offered her and his captain respectful nods, then walked away, leaving the two of them looking at each other in silence.

Rex focused on maintaining his face neutral, but a hint of displeasure was visible in his eyes. He had felt a pit form in his stomach as he heard Lexie use the word “honey” on his brother, and was now angry at himself for ever believing that it was somehow a term of endearment she used only on him. Of course he wasn’t special to her, why had he allowed himself to believe that even for a second? She hadn’t even come to him for help even though he had offered and would’ve been more than eager to assist her with anything she would need.

“I uh… I forgot to familiarise myself with the inspection procedure”, Lexie said embarrassed. She could see the displeased look in the Captain’s eyes. “Sorry… for disappointing you”.

Rex’s eyes softened as he heard her say that. “I wasn’t expecting you to immediately know everything you have to do, General”, he said calmly. “But why did you not come to me if you needed help?”

“You’ve done so much for me already, I just didn’t want to keep imposing on your kindness…”, she trailed off.

Rex looked around, making sure the corridor was empty, then took a step closer to her.

“Lexie, you are not imposing. I am happy to help you with anything you need”, he gave her a small smile. “Did Echo explain everything well?”

“Yes, I think I got it. Inspect at the armor and weapons then dormitories and common room”, she replied.

“And the drills”, Rex added.

“The what?”

“After the assembly and barracks inspection there’s the drills. You select squads at random and they go through battle simulations on the training level, thus making sure they’re prepared for all kinds of action”, he explained.

“That is going to take all fucking day”, Lexie exclaimed.

“Why do you think General Skywalker was so eager to pass the next inspections on to you?”, Rex asked with a chuckle.

Lexie pinched the bridge of her nose and let out an exasperated sigh.

“As second-in-command you’re also overseeing the inspections right?”, she asked him.

“Yes, Sir. Don’t worry, I’ll be by your side the entire day”, he answered. Lexie found that thought very comforting. “The men should be assembling soon, shall we head over there?”.

“Alright. Let’s get this over with”, she said and started following Rex down the corridors.