#the amount of faith people apparently have in me to pull this off

[throwing-roses-into-the-abyss]

every now and then it really dawns on me that a bunch of strangers are going to pay money to see the exhibit I created and read the words I wrote and see the mannequins I dressed up and like. this is the weirdest kind of pressure.

[lynnlovesspidahman]

this is me trying.

peter parker x reader

part 2. || part 1.

masterlist.

warnings : angst, mentions of violence, swearing, lots of self-doubt (peter im sorry)

word count : 2.7k

summary : There’s always two sides to a story. An apology is put into place.

Peter felt like he was living three different lives at once.

Each taking so, so much energy every single day.

His job, an assistant for Dr. Octavius at Octavius Industries. He felt guilty for arriving late every day, and still somehow having a job.

Peter was smarter than Doc, they both knew that. So that meant he would be called to office very, very often.

Usually because of some mistake Doc had made while working on the new prototypes of prosthetic limbs.

But the pressure it brought could get to be too much sometimes. One small mistake could cost millions of lives — or dollars — if not noticed early enough.

But he knew it would help the world someday, in so many ways. The exhaustion was totally worth it.

Spider-Man. Peter had loved and genuinely enjoyed playing his alter-ego.

Constantly, day and night, he was out. Out saving people everywhere. Sure, his work wasn’t appreciated by everyone but it was 100% worth it — to him.

But Spider-Man came with considerable costs. His everlasting lack of sleep. Peter can’t remember the last time he really got his 8 hours. The bags under his eyes made that apparent enough.

The physicality of the job, how many times had he stopped a car with his bare hands? He lost count years ago.

The bruises, cuts, broken limbs, brought immense pain, even to Spider-Man. Sure, he can heal faster — a nights rest, a heating pad, and your some soup is more than enough — But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

And the emotional weight it brought.

The crimes haven’t slowed, if anything they’ve gotten much more prominent all around the city.

The overwhelming amount of times he has to swing across New York to fight off large groups of thugs has become too much.

And honestly, he’s so sick of it.

And so, Peter stopped pulling his punches as much.

The guilt didn’t come until later.

He climbed through your apartment’s window after a long, long night of patrol.

You were sitting there — unaware of his presence— watching TV, all cuddled up on the corner of the couch with your mini Spidey plush.

“Hey, beautiful.” He called out to you.

“Holy shit-” You jumped and turned around to look at him. “You can’t just pop out of nowhere like that, you scared the hell out of me.”

You got up and walked towards him, “Was patrol okay?”

“Uh, yeah it was alright, kicked my ass tonight though. I’m worn out,” He stretched his arms above his head.

“Hm. Why?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Uhm, I mean I fought bad guys all night?” He scoffed, a stupid question, he thought.

“Or was it because you practically killed someone tonight?” You bluntly said.

You had taken a step away from him, like he was a danger to you too.

“They were a criminal!” He shrugged.

“Why does that matter? You can’t just completely take someone’s life away. That’s not who you are. Before you say you didn’t, you came real close to.” You stood your position.

It felt like you shot him straight in the heart.

He should’ve listened to you. But instead, he took a shot right back at you, a shot to kill.

“Again, they’re criminals. I’m sorry I had to calm things down somehow. I’m sorry I needed to do something to catch a break for once in my damn life. And you’re not exactly helping that.” He looked away from you. He felt ashamed.

You were right, he knew that, even then. But his pride couldn’t let him admit it.

“What is wrong with you? You love Spider-Man. And you always talk about how killing sickens you. You’ve changed, Peter.” You spat back at him.

He should’ve just ended it there, stopped the excessive violence, stopped the fight. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been in your kitchen on that faithful Tuesday.

It had been two days since that argument.

His almost perfect rep was officially ruined (Jameson had a field trip that day, too). The stress was at an all-time high.

He almost couldn’t handle it. He didn’t want to anymore.

He was still so angry at you for being right. Because you always were.

You were the one who kept him balanced, who took care of him no matter the time of day or night.

He hadn’t been back to your apartment since the fight, either.

But he would return to it after a tough night the day after. And the next.

And you forgave him, so fast (He took you to see the Barbie movie, paid for every snack and drink you could’ve wanted. It was indisputable on your end). The guilt from what Peter’s put you through has just stacked on and on.

Now he really couldn’t handle it anymore. 

And so, there he was. Sat atop a random rooftop rethinking everything.

He debated his life. His three lives, more like. Which parts were worth it, and which weren’t. (It was really fucked up, who measures parts of their life in worth and just decides which to throw away?)

He couldn’t lose his job, how would he make money?

He couldn’t stop being Spider-Man, he knew that.

And there was you. The biggest and undoubtedly the most important part.

But you were also easy to throw away, he thought.

So much stress and time would be lifted off of his shoulders.

(Little did he know, it would be the complete opposite. His injuries didn’t heal all the way like they did when you took care of him. Every time he was hurt, it would linger for days at a time. He missed how much you’d worried for him. He really took you for granted.)

And so, he decided in the next couple of weeks, he would break it off.

And he did. On the Tuesday the following week.

He looks back on it — to this day — and realized everything he had said to you that evening, wasn’t directed at you. It was directed at himself.

Of course he enjoyed loving you. He didn’t enjoy being himself was what.

He needed to be his best for you because he couldn’t be with anything else. He failed at being the friendly and reliable Spider-man. Him and Doc didn’t get the grant they’d been needing for so long.

And when he did try to improve when you called him out that night, it just wasn’t enough.

He didn’t deserve you.

He took everything out on you, he didn’t mean a word he said. But you didn’t know that.

Peter never had an outlet to take anything out. He couldn’t leave you with every burden of his life, Doc and him weren’t that close, and May couldn’t know he was Spider-Man.

He snapped that Tuesday.

And there’s nothing more that he regrets in his entire life.

But he couldn’t burden you anymore. He wouldn’t.

He did nothing but keep you up late at night, hurt your feelings, and make you do everything for him.

Peter loved you. And he couldn’t let himself torture you like this.

So he forced himself to let you go. You would move on, anyways. He couldn’t.

He listened to every single one of the voicemails you sent.

Every. Single. One. He’s never heard you sound so down (Because of him, nonetheless).

It took so much out of him to not respond. More than what he had to give.

And after five weeks, he finally caved.

He texted you.

9:52 PM

Hey, beautiful.

You wouldn’t forgive him quick this time, he knew that. This time wasn’t just some fight. He tore your heart apart.

But he would work for your forgiveness, he swore to himself, God as his witness.

You read the message immediately. He knew you had gotten off of work, so it wasn’t completely abnormal.

But you didn’t respond. He checked his phone all night and the next morning (He was desperate for something, even if it was an angry text. He hated nothing more than you ignoring him).

So he texted you again. He just went straight for it this time, no holding back anymore.

1:16 PM

Can we meet up?? I think we can agree there’s still some loose ends we need to revisit, together.

Read 1:18 PM

He was patient this time. He tried stepping in your shoes, and it broke his heart. He couldn’t imagine you snapping on him like he had.

He couldn’t live if you were angry at him like he was at you. And if you weren’t going to respond again he was debating on just showing up to your apartment. Can’t ignore him that way.

2:12 PM

Y/N 💞 : “Loose ends” is a funny term. You mean when you randomly showed up to my apartment and broke up with me for the stupidest reason?

He cringed. This was a dumb decision.

2:12 PM

I know, trust me. I just want to talk. And explain myself.

Explain my biggest mistake. I’ve never regretted anything more than leaving you and taking the anger at myself onto you.

He debated on sending the message, but he didn’t.

You would just see it as him trying kiss your ass into forgiving him. It worked before.

2:14 PM

Y/N 💞 : Peter, why? Why are you only just know texting me? Why are you trying to meet up when you tore my heart into pieces? Why are you seeking forgiveness randomly?

Why are you asking such hard questions, he wanted to ask.

2:14 PM

Idk, I miss you?

I miss you and still love you. I regret that night so much.

Can you just hear me out? Please?

Nothing sounded right. But he just went for it, again. At this point, he was pacing across his rooftop, anxious for your response (If you even gave him one).

2:15 PM

Y/N 💞 : Peter, I swear. If you make me regret this, I’ll come for you. Worse than any enemy you’ve ever faced and ever will.

He laughed at that one. You wouldn’t —right?—

2:15 PM

I won’t, Y/N. I promise. Tomorrow, Micks at 3?

Read 2:16 PM

You left him on read, but he counted that as a success — you didn’t refuse his offer so.. —

He would come back from this. He has to.

Peter was late. Fuck him.

Why did you even give him your time of day anymore? This man could tear you apart and you still gave into his words.

3:13 PM

Peter 🕸️ : Babt, I’mso sotry. I got caugjt up with worl, I’m bloxks away I sqaer.

You could barely understand him, but you were used to his usually proper grammar slipping while he was swinging.

How dare he? How dare he beg you to come out here and he gets to show up late??

He practically busted the restaurant’s door open. He rushed to your table.

“Baby I-”

“No,” You interrupted. “You don’t get to call me that. Fuck you, asshole. You ask me to meet you and you show up late? Are you kidding me?” You crossed your arms and stood up from the booth you were sitting at.

“Y/N, I’m so, so sorry. I got caught up with Doc at work. Huuge internal wiring problem. I don’t even understand how he could’ve messed it up so badly,” He talked with his hands, he was so cute when he did that.

You took a step towards him, and slapped the shit out of his stupidly attractive face.

“You don’t get to break me and show up late when you wanted me here.” The tears were back. You were livid. You shoved your finger into his face as you scolded him.

“I know, I know. I keep fucking up and I’m sorry. Lets just sit down and let me explain everything. I promise you, it’s worth it.” He put his hands on both of your shoulders to keep you from leaving and tried to calm you down.

“Hands off,” You pulled his hands away from your shoulder and slumped back into the booth.

You wanted to go home.

“Okay, okay.” He sat down and stared at you.

“Well?” You waited, “Let’s hear this explanation,” You rolled your eyes.

“Well, uh-” He paused for a moment, “I don’t know how to start.”

You waited for him to continue, arms still crossed. You really didn’t want to hear him out.

“Do you remember when I almost beat the life outta that guy? Like a month ago or something?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You rolled your eyes again, not exactly a good moment to bring up.

“I feel like that’s where it started,”

“Mhm..” You nodded for him to keep going.

“I started slipping. I stopped pulling my punches and I was so stressed out every moment of my life. A-and one day I just got so sick of it,” He started choking up, you almost felt bad for him.

“So I sat down and tried to organize my life. I wanted to rid myself of stress and try to free up time for myself in order to y’know, rejuvenate.”

You sat there, you were expecting plain excuses. But it seemed he had something real going here.

“I couldn’t rid myself of my job — how else would I be able to live? — and obviously Spider-Man isn’t a choice. And there came you. The best and biggest part of my life.”

You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“I was stupid, I thought that by taking a break, I’d feel more free. And feel more.. well less stressed out. If I had something to myself then I would be better and feel okay? I don’t know.”

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Don’t look at me like that, please. I was so overwhelmed with everything. I’ve been so behind on rent, and crime just never stops around here. Its like it raises more and more every week.”

“I thought-” He took a deep breath, “I thought that if I had one less chore — trust me you are not a chore to me — life would get easier.”

You’re guessing he tried to rephrase his words he said before, he’s almost repeating himself.

“But it didn’t. At all. I was in pain all the time — emotionally and physically — it didn’t help at all. I said I didn’t enjoy loving you. I lied. I didn’t enjoy loving myself- or being me.”

Your heart clenched for him. He hurt you so bad, but hearing how he truly felt made you slightly reconsider things.

“I didn’t enjoy the stress of my life, and I don’t have any outlet for my anger. And you forgave me so easily the last time we fought. And I guess I took advantage of that. I took all of the hate I had for myself onto you. I think that will forever be my biggest mistake.”

Your eyebrows scrunched.

“I love you. So much, Y/N. More than words can describe. I’ve never regretted anything more in my life and I can’t ever be away from you, again.”

“I broke it off thinking it would cause me less stress, but I understand now that it was you who took the pressure away. Being away from you, Y/N,” He laughed (At his own pain, seemingly). “I’ve never felt shittier in my life.”

Your tears flowed. Your expectations were well exceeded. He’s fucked up so much, but he makes up for it every time. And this time, it wasn’t done by kissing your ass and spoiling you, you recognized that.

“I can’t explain how sorry I am. I regret what I did to you that night so much. More than anything in the world. I just hope you can understand that.”

“I hope you can understand me.” He kept eye contact, his eyes were watery. “I know how complicated I can get,” He let out a breathy laugh.

“Pete.” You just about whispered his name.

“Yeah..?” He wiped his eyes on his sleeve before answering you.

“I forgive you.” You smiled, still crying from his well thought out (you had to give him credit) apology.

“Wait- Really?”

“Yeah. I do.”

He stood up and hugged you from across the table.

“But..”

“But..?” He repeated you, curiously. He let go of the hug to look you in the eyes.

“You’re gonna have to pay for the meal if you really want me back.”

He laughed.

“I love you.”

He grabbed your cheeks and pulled you in for a kiss. He’s never kissed you so hard.

Stunned, but pleasantly surprised, you sat there for a moment. Unsure of whether you should kiss him or not.

But you grabbed his collar and melted into the kiss.

No matter how hard he had broken you, his words brought you back to him.

And you wouldn’t regret it, you knew that.

part 2 is finished 🥹

just wanna explain a few things just in case:

peter is a lil ooc w the excessive violence and it’s not him to be like that but i feel like every body gets to that point where everything can be just too much. even spider-man.

i also feel like he needs a healthy outlet for his feelings, being spiderman, he’s constantly busy. not exactly easy to make friends. but also being spiderman, he doesn’t wanna leave y/n with all of his problems, he’s supposed to be the hero. so he bottles it all up. to the point where he just burst one day and took it out on her. (not good!!)

also i felt like him being a man, he’s going to feel insecure if y/n’s the one taking care of him all the time. he’s the man, it’s supposed to be the other way around, but it’s not. and that’s okay!! often times, old traditions still lies deep within all of us. men’s mental health matters too!! men can still feel insecure!! EVERYONE DOES. but that doesn’t mean we (as people) can take out our insecurities or anger at ourselves onto other people. most times, they don’t deserve the hate we bring onto ourselves.

that being said, not everyone can be perfect. (peter is a great example) we’re all going through something in life and are constantly being tested. but, the biggest thing is to always persevere no matter what. you’re never going to have more on your plate than you can handle. if you’re struggling, always remember to reach out to someone. a loved one, a professional, or even me. my dms are always open. i love you all. 🩷

anyways,

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated!!

i hope you all enjoyed this story as much as i liked writing it 💗💗

[hellishere7980]

Begin Again Chapter 8 (sequel to IMW)

The following weeks were normal and not. Whenever they approached Marinette, questioning her about her powers, she would just poof! Even when Damian tried to hold her down, she somehow slipped out of his iron-cast grip that could break bones and skipped off!

When this happened the 11th time, she threatened them that next time they pull ‘such a stunt’, she'd make them disappear. “Your face off earth too, not just America," she added as an afterthought.

Well, as people who respected their safety, they unanimously agreed to give her the space she clearly needed.

No, Dick It was your idea. And quite a stupid one too. We should have given her space. Jason had said this after being subjected to his sister’s very colorful threat.

But in general, she was glued to her laptop. Clacking away with coffee mugs and eyebags to rival and win over Tim’s. Complaining about how “investors were one of the stupidest breeds of people to exist after villains and criminals." Except for two investors who had “some amount of sense,” to quote her. Whenever they tried to sneak glances, she changed her screen quite openly too.

One day, Tim strolled next to her as she was sitting on the dining table, working on her computer. He leaned on the table and, without sneaking a peek at her screen, plainly asked her what she was working on.

Apparently, Dick placed too much faith in the fact that, as her oldest brother, he would be the first to know about his sister’s mysterious activities. He was again wrong.

Marinette simply tilted her head. "I'm trying to start a business."

Tim nodded his head. "I saw the signs. If you need some help, let me know."

Marinette nodded in acknowledgement, and they both went back to their work as if nothing had happened.

When Jason tried to use the same tactics and ask her about it, he was met with such a deadpan stare that he backtracked out of it as fast as he could. A reunion month was meant for every Wayne. legal or not. Direct or via a relationship. Civilly. At Alfred's request. To say that all of them were concerned with Marinette’s obsession with apparently starting a new business would be an understatement.

But they watched the silence as days passed by, and there was no change. Something that the detective family noticed was that things seemed to move in favor of her. For example, in one of her attempts to reduce her caffeine intake, Dick placed the cup just outside her reach so she would finally get up after sitting for five hours, but to everyone’s astonishment, when she was reaching for the coffee cup, it automatically moved toward her, and she said, "Thank you," meaning that she was not the one who had attracted that wretched cup of coffee towards her. and here we find ourselves on the 15th night of her sitting in front of that glaring LED screen.

Everyone was sitting around in the living room, minding their own business. They were concerned about the Marinette habits but still minding their own business.

But then suddenly, a voice boomed up from the ceiling. It sounded a bit shrill, but they could understand it. "Marinette, this has gone along far enough. You need to stop spending all the time sitting in front of that screen. Come on, it's been forever since we went out for a run."

Another voice chimed out. "You better listen to her pigtails; she's been getting angsty."

Marinette gave a sigh and looked up at the ceiling. "You guys know I have work to do!"

As though in response to her statement, a page fell down seemingly nowhere from the ceiling across her keypad. Although it was hard to tell from a distance, it looked as if it was a party scene, and there was something written on it as well.

Marinette glanced over that page. "fine." She got up.

"But this doesn't mean you won!" she shouted over her shoulder. "I am still going to get work done starting tomorrow morning. I got this stupid interview from the PA to get over with as well."

"Which one?" the mysterious ceiling-inhabited voice questioned. "Not for my actual life, you."

"Ohh," the voice dragged out. "But what happened with Gamora, dear Marinette?"

The person in question sighed. "Don't push your luck, you big cheesy blob."

"Ouch pigtails that hurt."

"Yeah, destroying the dinosaurs was not an accident."

"It wasn't-t uh- sugar cube. I swear to the universe, I don't have anything against them. It was- uh, never mind."

Marinette giggled and walked towards the door, but Bruce, naive and emotionally constipated, God knows how he ever became Batman. He can never really let go, can he? Does the questioning detective in him ever rest?

"Where are you going, Isa?"

Marinette looked over at him with a calculating look. "Just going out to party a bit; maybe even find a cute date," she smiled and went poof.

The voice from above spoke up. "She really is out of the manor, you know. And we have a piece of advice for you: in order to find what you look for, look at those talking gizmos you have invented. and listen closely." 

Afterward, they tried to question the voices again, but it seemed as though they were gone or had said all they wanted to say. Finally giving up, they turned to each other.

"what's next?" Barbara asked. "It's not like we can follow her, and I really do think she deserves some privacy."

"privacy?! You're worried about privacy!! She's going to find a date! You know what goes on in the minds of kids this age?!" Jason screamed.

"I take offense to that." Tim turned toward Jason. "And so do I." Damien added. "Just because you were a hormone-driven teenager doesn't mean everyone is!!"

"No, no, and no," Dick said, looking at his brothers. "That is not the point. Stop getting off course!"

"betrayer." Jason said, glaring at Dick. "traitor. I thought you would back me up on this."

"Come on, Jason, be realistic. She isn't going to end up with someone she has just met today. is she?" Roy asked, looking at others.

"No," Dick said. "And there is no point in torturing ourselves by thinking about the what-ifs. What is going to happen is going to happen, and we can deal with it when it happens."

"agreed." Fei said. "I'm more interested in what that ceiling voice told us. I'm not much experienced in ghost matters per se, but I think those were spirits. spirits that Marinette knows about, and I think it can give us what we are looking for."

"And what exactly are we looking for?" Jason asked, his eyebrows raised.

"We're looking for why she is so mad at you." Fei replied. "Look, I stole her belongings. I forced her to buy them back at ridiculously high prices, and with an apology, she forgave me. Why would she be so mad about Bruce shipping her off? She knows that while his actions were wrong, he did this because he wanted to protect her."

"I think he deserves what he is getting for shipping her off." Jason said, crossing his arms.

"And I agree." Fei countered back. "But this is Marinette; we're talking about looks as much as you don't like them. I've had more interaction with her when she came to Shanghai than she has with any of you since she came back to the manor. Don't you think there is a tiny chance the spirits could be right? I think so. and they gave us a clue too. talking gizmos. You know what that reminds me of? Phones. cell phones."

Turning towards Bruce, she asked him, "How come you never talked after you shipped her off? You don't just suddenly break all contact with your own kid."

"Welcome to our world." Jason grumbled. "That's exactly what we do here."

Bruce looked down. "I shut off the phone, which she could have called me on I-I," he sighed. "I couldn't bear the sound of her voice asking me to bring her back, so I decided to cut off all contact so as not to give into the temptation."

"But you still have that phone, don't you?" Fei cut in before the others could tell Bruce exactly how cuckoo bird that was. "We can still listen to the voicemails she might have left."

[stillness-in-green]

Chapter Thoughts: 375, Chaotic Confusion

Sorry for the delay on this and other writings, all. The holidays got very hectic very fast. I really only pushed this one out before another week or two went by because I took a day off to finish it and run some errands. I won't say this is the last thing I'll post this year—I should have at least some downtime during an upcoming trip to visit family!—but fingers crossed for catching up more in the new year, anyway.

That said, to make a start, RIP to Moonfish having any relevance post-Tartarus, apparently. Man, I'm so tired of previously consequential villains getting pulled out of mothballs because that's easier than coming up with a bunch of new ones only for them to be unceremoniously disposed of when the crowd scene they're in is over.

Like, did Toga even notice an OG League member was there?

(See below the cut for much, much more. I had a lot to say this week, though a regrettable amount of it is Stillness-brand finicky overlong breakdowns of easy-to-overlook plot holes or quibbles about grammatical omissions that change the tone of the material.)

O  The descriptors of Toga’s evasion ability continue to be all over the place, to the point that I’m wondering if it’s intentional.  I want over that in some detail in this post, so I won’t repeat myself here(1) save to note that the varied descriptions of lacking intent (Chapter 105), loving intent (Chapter 247), basically misdirection (this chapter), complex and nuanced (also this chapter), cannot fool heightened senses (Chapter 266), and limited in how many people can be fooled at once (this chapter again) do not add up to anything remotely cohesive to me.

Ochaco is, of course, just theorizing, so there’s no guarantee that she’s right, but I don’t really even follow her own internal logic.  If Toga’s move is “basically misdirection,” what makes it so nuanced?  Why would it being complicated mean it only works on a limited number of people?

If the contradictions aren’t intentional, then I wonder if it’s, rather, another case of Horikoshi running into trouble when he tries to overexplain things.  Obviously some explanation is important, but even in this very chapter, there’ll be another, even worse, example of the kinds of problems that arise from trying to anticipate every question and answer it in advance.

O  As @codenamesazanka mentioned here, it’s real good to see members of the League putting their faith in Spinner!  His feelings get the job done, regardless of his quirk loadout.  It especially suits Toga, who of course has an affinity for maidens in love strong feelings of admiration towards others.

O  The chemical to attract Noumu feels like one of those things that raises more questions than it’s really worth.  Like, wow, that sure is a thing that we’re going to see once and then literally never have come up again.  I’d love to be surprised on that front, but like, it doesn’t even bring the Noumu stomping over in this chapter, just makes it throw one (1) volley at attacks at Tsuyu.  Feels like it would have been simpler to just let Toga get the sip in.  Or have the vial contain something acidic from Ujiko’s lab, or something with a foul taste, or anything that would buy Toga two seconds of breathing room and be less of a curveball than a one-off Noumu attractor that’s apparently highly water soluble, given that it seems to lose its effectiveness literal seconds after coming into contact with Tsuyu’s saliva.

That small gripe aside, I do like the idea of Toga having a decoy, for two reasons.  Firstly, and more recently, she had front-row seats for the value of having backup doses courtesy of Kirishima using Mina’s helping of drugs on Gigantomachia.

Secondly, and further back, she was present for Mister’s big fancy marble misdirection at the training camp.(2)  Certainly, this panel of her—

—looks more like someone who’s making a biiiig, obvious show of what she’s about to do than someone interested in successfully doing it.  No need to dangle that vial several inches away from her own mouth if the plan was to ingest it!  Sako would be so proud.

O  I love that the word “miracle” is used to describe the Dead Man’s Parade.  Yes, Dabi’s foresight, Spinner’s will, and Toga’s love did all combine to produce this result, and yes, it is a miracle, because if the fights ended here and now, all that would happen is that the villains would get dropped in jail, forgotten about, and likely eventually executed.  The kids are all still too aligned with the status quo for me to believe it would go any different.  So three cheers for the shake-up.

O  I flagrantly adore Himijin’s wide-eyed expression when Ochaco calls out to her to try and lure her back with rabu rabu talk, and the way her eyes go narrow and she responds with resignation.  She recognizes (or thinks she does) that Ochaco doesn’t actually want to have girls’ talk with her; it’s just a delaying tactic, the same thing Shouto tried on Dabi last chapter with the same lack of results.

(I note additionally that neither Dabi nor Toga fell for it, whereas All For One, despite reflecting on needing to meet back up with his vessel, was more than happy to dally about taking questions from Hawks.  This is because AFO is a comic book evil overlord who can no more stop gloating than he can stop breathing.)

O  Hawks’ internal monologue is the other place I had in mind when I talked about Horikoshi over-explaining things.  Buckle up for a lot of quibbling, then consider:

1: There isn’t really a need for Hawks to be able to jump to this conclusion.  Indeed, I should think it would be more effective if he had that heart-in-his-throat confusion about whether he missed a double somewhere, if this is a ghost, some kind of Noumu resurrection, or if Jin himself actually managed to survive somehow, only for a terrible understanding to dawn when the knives come out.

2: Toga was never noted as being particularly close with Hawks, so there’s no immediate reason to assume that he’d have found out about her quirk evolution during his infiltration.  This might sound like selling him short—why wouldn’t word have gotten around where he could hear about it, after all?—save that we already have an example of the heroes lacking crucial information about what happened in Deika.

When Shigaraki unleashed Decay at the hospital basement, Gran Torino is surprised that it’s spreading to things Shigaraki hasn’t touched.  His subsequent line—“This is the one thing we didn’t know about—his enhancements!”—implies an assumption that this is a result of Shigaraki’s surgery, not a change to his quirk itself.  Ergo, proliferating Decay was not part of Hawks’ information communicated to the HPSC to help shape battle tactics.

Hawks did know about Twice getting past his mental block, but Twice’s capabilities were already a matter of record from his pre-trauma days, Hawks was around Twice constantly, and Twice was an inveterate chatterbox.  Those things were not true of Shigaraki, nor were they true of Toga, which means it’d make more sense for Toga’s change, like Shigaraki’s, to have gone undiscovered until Ochaco told an adult about it after Toga informed her directly at Jakku.

Does it make more sense that Hawks would have found out about all of this during his infiltration, presumably because the MLA and Twice both would have been all abuzz about what happened in Deika?  Well, yes, honestly.  But there’s a lot about Hawks’ infiltration that starts to break down when you look at it critically, so it would perhaps behoove Horikoshi to stop drawing attention to it.

3: How and when exactly did Hawks destroy all of Toga’s stored blood samples?  Doesn’t she usually keep those on her person or safe in a marble in Mr. Compress’s keeping?

Toga, of all the members of the League, is by far the most perceptive of her surroundings, see e.g. her being the first to note Slidin’ Go’s approach in Chapter 224.  When she thinks, in her battle with Curious, that people are just a little bit kinder to high school girls, it’s suggestive of her having become exceptionally attuned—one might even say hair-triggered—to anything around her that might present a danger.  Color me skeptical that she wouldn’t notice any errant red feathers flicking about, especially in the immediate wake of the sound of breaking glass, or that neither she nor anyone else would ask questions if she found her stores ruined.

4: Hawks’s line implies that he was so mindful of the possibility of Toga being able to use Twice’s blood that he specifically and personally went back to the ruins of the villa to clean up the scene of Twice’s death.  This strikes me as a pretty big stretch, given that he was hospitalized for his egregious burns and then was running around with Best Jeanist checking on other people, like his mother and Endeavor, and exactly how long would Twice’s body/the bloodstains have been left alone after heroes secured the villa?

Did Hawks first regain consciousness in the medical tent in the woods around the villa and have to shake off a bunch of doctors plus Tokoyami to return to the scene of his crime before the day was even over?  Or was it days later, Twice’s body long since recovered and dealt with in whatever fashion it was dealt with,(3) and all Hawks was doing was scrubbing and/or burning the patch of floor Jin bled out on?

Either way, it seems much simpler for this to get delegated to a specialized clean-up crew, except that, whoops, the HPSC was in disarray, so there wouldn’t have been one of those available.  So if Hawks had to attend to it himself, be it hours or days later, then he should have known the body was left unattended for a period of time.  And if that’s the case, then…

5: Why didn’t he foresee this possibility?  He knows good and well that Dabi was still up and on his feet after Tokoyami got him out of there.  Sure, Dabi was unlikely to have stray vials on his person, but the villa was a huge resort—it’s not so strange to imagine he could have rustled up a plastic cup(4) from somewhere.

Frankly, though, Dabi isn’t even the most likely culprit for a blood stash.  Like, if he’d had that blood all along, why on earth wouldn’t he have given it to Toga on Gigantomachia?(5)  Just spread Twices all the way from Wakayama to Kyoto!

The fact that that didn’t happen must have led to Hawks thinking he was in the clear once he cleaned up the body.  But then, who could have gotten access to a stash of blood?  Dabi was there, yes, but the much more obvious answer is Ujiko.

Ujiko had clearly been doing some work with Twice given the existence of Mocha, whose use of Double Mirko personally witnessed and survived to debrief about later.  Ujiko’s lab was disintegrated before the heroes had a chance to recover shit from it, but the heroes do know that Shigaraki managed to spare a bunch of Noumu and deleter rounds from his initial Decay wave.  Why not assume he managed to spare some blood vials, too?

Alternatively, consider that Ujiko left gifts behind for AFO in a backup location, including some kind of substance that triggered the latter’s Rewind—a Rewind he name-dropped out loud, in Hawks’ immediate presence.

Ujiko couldn’t have gotten access to Rewind until he got Overhaul’s sample from Shigaraki, well after AFO was imprisoned.  AFO in turn couldn’t have gotten access to it until after he escaped from Tartarus, after Ujiko was taken into custody and the hospital destroyed.  Ergo, Ujiko had to have left something in a secondary location AFO knew to seek out.  Given that, why would it be such a stretch to assume he left some samples for Toga’s use, too?  All to further the dream of the Lord of Evil.

That, in any case, is a more logical explanation(6) than Dabi having time to jet himself back up to Twice’s body, find some kind of way to get a useable blood sample from it, then travel all the way back down to wherever Skeptic had holed up to retrieve him before Gigantomachia managed to snatch him up, and then not give Toga the blood right then and there.

The fact that Hawks jumps to Dabi as an explanation and then ends his train of thought there kind of feels like Horikoshi wants to present Hawks as smart enough to the correct but farfetched conclusion rather than thinking about what conclusions Hawks might naturally come to given everything he knows.(7)

6:  You know what else would have been super easy and avoided this whole thing?  Toga wonders to herself if the heroes knew about Jin’s blood, and that’s why they put her on an island—just let her be right.  Say that Hawks did have her put on an island just in case.  It’s an incredible longshot, and he did everything he could to circumvent it, and probably they would have seen Toga’s Parade by now if it was going to be a problem, but—just in case.

Instead of being about Jin's presence or Toga's possession of his blood, have Hawks' shock and panicky, frantic jumble of thoughts be about the warp gate and what its appearance implies about what happened at Central Hospital.

Hell, that would even be a nice nod to the fact that, despite being a heteromorph himself, Hawks was not immune to badly underestimating the anger of the heteromorph protestors because he, with his isolated government upbringing, sick red angel wings, incredibly useful quirk, and conventionally handsome face, was never subjected to hate crimes over his quirk status.

To restate, then, aaaaall of these issues could have been avoided by not drawing our attention to them and then half-assing the explanation—exactly the same situation as Hawks and Jeanist’s awful expository conversation about how Hawks personally went and revived Jeanist in time for the raid during a time in which his wings were absolutely dripping with micro cameras.

There are so many ways Hawks could have reacted here that wouldn’t be trying to have it both ways: that the allegedly hypercompetent and incredibly meticulous Hawks completely planned for how to neutralize Toga’s powers but then is somehow shocked, just shocked, that the villains might have had a stock he didn’t account for.

The only thing I can think of is that it’s something in Hawks’ bias about the League.  Perhaps he didn’t conceive of them as having the patience or strategic acumen to not use Jin’s blood at the first opportunity, or he thought of Dabi as too much a lone wolf to care about going back to Jin’s body.  It would not be the first time he badly misjudged the League because of a blind spot in his own mindset.

However, even if either of those is meant to be the case—that he misjudged the League’s patience or Dabi’s camaraderie—neither clicks with him being so meticulous as to go back and clean up the blood traces Just In Case.  If he really were that meticulous, then this shouldn’t have blindsided him to begin with.

As ever, I wonder if Horikoshi is overcompensating because he Has A Trauma from all those letters about Deku’s 1,000,000% Smash against Muscular.

…Okay, wow, where was I?

O  It kind of feels like the last two pages should be reorganized a bit?  I assume they’re in the correct order because the panels of Tsuyu throwing Ochaco have the faintest overlay of Flashback Filter, and Ochaco’s in that last array of panels, but it’s a bit silly to have that big dramatic panel of Ochaco and Tsuyu coming through the portal only to immediately cut to a flashback of how it happened.

It feels like the chapter could have used one more page.  Cut from Kinoko’s dismay back to the beach to show the portal closing, have Tsuyu throw Ochaco through it, then back to the villa ruins for Ochaco coming through and pulling Tsuyu after her, ending with the row of character panels and the reporter image.

That aside, my congratulations and appreciation to Ochaco for her time and consideration in making sure Tsuyu stays relevant to this plot, rather than just using her for the yeet and leaving her in the dust which is what Deku would have done.

I wish them all the best in their pursuit of dialogue, but in the meantime, GET THAT FLYBOY, TOGA.  GET HIS ASS.

I know I complained a lot above, but I really did enjoy this chapter on the whole, largely for what a great showcase it is for Toga being sharp as a tack while still being emotionally resonant. Here's to more of Hawks making all the wrong decisions next time!

...But also, I do have some more complaining to do first. None of the stuff below is on Horikoshi—indeed, there's one bit of potential plot I'm very excited about that I didn't talk about above because the potential foreshadowing was lost in translation. Further, plenty of the points below may not really be the fault of Caleb Cook. I don't know the style guide he's working under, nor what sort of editing passes for tone or voice get made on his work after he turns it in.

Whoever's at fault, however, I have an unusually high number of issues this week, so I just moved them all to the end in place of the usual Stray Notes section. I may keep that up going forward so as to better distinguish between criticism of a chapter's actual content and criticism of issues unique to the English release.

Translation and Rendition Quibbles

O  ANAL-RETENTIVE GRAMMAR NITPICK ALERT.

“Coming to terms” feels like an unnecessarily clunky translation for the sentiment teinen is expressing—a feeling of resignation, reaching a state of understanding or acceptance.  Even setting aside the Japanese, the English usage feels very strange, because “coming to terms” would typically be a verb phrase, a phrase that states the action the subject of a sentence is taking upon the direct object of a sentence.  One “comes to terms” or “came to terms” or even “is coming to terms” with something or someone—subject, verb, object.

The usage here, however, is a gerund phrase.  A gerund is a verb that is acting as a noun.  Here, “coming to terms” is (along with “her rancor”) the subject of the sentence, with “completed” being the verb describing the action that subject takes upon the sentence’s object, “her transformation.”

While I suppose it’s not necessarily wrong, in that I understand the meaning, it doesn’t feel right, either—at the very least, it feels incomplete.  Because the phrase in question so specifically begs for an object to be acting upon, using it as a subject in and of itself while omitting the object—the thing/person being come to terms with—leaves the sentence feeling vague, lacking crucial information.  The reader can fill in that information based on the accompanying flashback panel, but it is, again, so much clunkier than just using a single word like “resignation” or “acceptance.”  Heck, “resignation” would even give a nice little alliteration with “rancor.”

O  It is very sigh-inducing that the decision not to do anything to retain the meaning of the -tachi in Spinner’s plea to save Shigaraki-tachi two weeks ago has now resulted in Kurogiri turning up echoing that he has to save Shigaraki and his allies without those words actually tying correctly to Spinner’s earlier words.

O  Another case this week of punctuation woes.  Togawice is supposed to have an ellipsis before she responds to Kurogiri’s question—she doesn’t have that answer on the tip of her tongue.  For all that the narration claims that she’s completely become a villain at this point, she still hesitates before she gives an answer involving violence.  The official release loses this nuance by having her seem to respond immediately.

O Another thing I think is interesting that gets obscured somewhat in translation is the verb Toga uses—kakusan, which means things like spread, diffuse, disseminate, scatter.  This seems like a request that is not going to be met by Kurogiri dropping Togawice in a single location, so I will be extremely unsurprised if, within the next few chapters, we see a bunch more portals with a BUNCH more Parades pouring through them.  She did say she wanted to start with Hawks, of course, but why stop there?  There’s literally no reason not to dump self-replicating doubles through as many portals as Kurogiri has coordinates for.(8)

Aside from being strategically sound, it would also be a nice echo of Sad Man’s Parade coming to Shigaraki and Spinner’s rescue in Deika, though it remains to be seen whether it’ll be as loud and raucous as Jin’s Parade, or whether, being composed entirely of Togas-masquerading-as-Jin, it will be eerily silent.

O  I mentioned this a few days ago, but Jesus fucking Christ, what is up with every translator in the usual pipeline who looked at this chapter apparently completely missing the very prominent and obvious “death” kanji in Toga’s version of the Sad Man’s Parade?  It’s even in the furigana, which reads: saddo manzu desu paredo.  I realize everyone and their mother is in a huge hurry to get this stuff out as quickly as possible for the clicks, but come on.

---------------- FOOTNOTES ----------------

1: I have in fact been over it twice, somewhat embarrassingly, but let it be said that I don’t have the best memory for what rants I have or haven’t been on, hence my occasional broken record harping.

2:  She bailed before the big reveal, but she’d already seen the first part, where Shouji thought he got the real marbles back and Compress was flagrantly unconcerned, even stopping Dabi from going on the attack again to recover them. That doubtlessly was not the only time she ever saw Mr. C perform sleight of hand, either.

3:  Which, incidentally, just begs for fanfic.  What did happen to Twice’s body after it was recovered by the heroes?

4:  Or a bloodstained handkerchief.

5:  Looking for a Watsonian answer to that highly pertinent question, I’d venture to say Dabi knew the time for his broadcast was coming up and he didn’t want anyone or anything to distract from it.

6:  It would lose some thematic resonance to have the blood come from Ujiko’s stores rather than being secured by a League member directly from Twice’s body, but it makes a lot more sense than Dabi running around back and forth through the chaos of battle like a video game character trying to secure all a level’s key items before he gets defeated by a hero, runs out of stamina, or the Machia Timer hits zero.

7:  Terry Pratchett once wrote a mini-rant about detectives who use tiny clues to make huge, sweeping assumptions, Sherlock Holmes-style, when there are a thousand other possible explanations the detective conveniently ignores because the author knows those ones are wrong.  Regardless of whether that's fair to Doyle and his imitators, it’s still the case that Hawks definitely did NOT eliminate every other possible factor to leave only the improbable truth.

8:  Yes, I will consider this to be another example of the villains’ capabilities getting nerfed if it doesn’t happen, just like that massive underground organization full of heroes, politicians, and god only knows what other sorts of public figures they allegedly had that had zero personal impact on a single heroic character.

[wizardphds]

Gambling with Money Not Meant for Fun

Gambling is all fun and video games till you hit the level wherever you stop viewing the enjoyment in it, or you turn out to be irredeemably addicted.

Admittedly, most folks do not see it coming. They start out gambling for extremely noble explanations including,

one. The will need to get time away from operate and relatives pressures

2. Escape route from depressing views on other troubles.

3. Hopes of profitable a fortune and residing lavishly at any time soon after

four. To provide a tinge of pleasure into their normally boring life

5. A opportunity to go out there, socialize and make new close friends.

As you can see from the previously mentioned points, no one anticipates that gambling will grow into the Frankenstein that now threatens to drive them off the sanity cliff. A large amount of individuals are in a position to retain their gambling less than rein. They do it for exciting, to go some time and to socialize. Others shed it wholly. They become slaves to on-line and offline gambling. It throws their life off-equilibrium. They start out putting much more time and funds into gambling, and they gradually neglect other features of their life.

At this stage, issue gamblers look again at their life and get astonished at how and when it transpired. For a ton of individuals, the trouble starts off with a shift in mentality. A major loss or a big gain, and you are hooked. You start off gambling far more income than you had planned to invest on gambling, you invest a lot of time in the casinos and just before you know it, you are a slave to gambling. You won’t be able to consume, slumber nor breathe with no pondering gambling.

To aid you realize how gambling dependancy performs, I have analyzed some of the most common factors that pull people deeper and deeper into habit.

one. Illusion that You Can be in command of Possibility

No just one can management opportunity. It does not favor any person, wise or or else. Sad to say several issue gamblers think that they can control to overturn their luck on the tables by sheer electrical power of the head. They have this skewed illusion that they can win if only they can learn the methods of the video game. They put in hrs on end in the casinos trying to great their match. They fail to acknowledge the fact that gambling is 100% possibility and not anything to be realized. There are no tips and awareness that will all of a abruptly overturn the tables to your favor.

2. The Lure of the Jackpot

Winning a few hands on the tables can make you feel unconquerable. Absolutely everyone enjoys successful, and science has proved that persons recall their victories much more than they don’t forget their losses. The good news is, or in all probability unfortunately in this situation, new gamblers have what is normally referred as ‘beginner’s luck’. They get started their gambling hobbies on the suitable foot. They grow to be obsessed with the thought of profitable the jackpot.

three. Faith of Transforming Luck

In daily life, we are encouraged to get up right after each and every tumble. We will make it in the conclude. We will execute our goals if we do not quit. Just after all, who wants to stop although the gold vein could be just a number of inches absent. There is only one particular area where this advice does not implement. If your quests are ruled by pure luck, there is extremely very little chance that you will ever make it. The studies are open for any individual who desires to choose a appear. Gambling only finishes up in significant losses, money owed and frayed social interactions. There is no much better time to give up than now. radar138 will not smile at you at any time before long.

How To Know If You Are Addicted To Gambling

Though there are apparent ideas that reveal you are likely down the dependancy lane, it can be really difficult to detect them if you do not know what they are. This is most likely the saddest matter about habit. We by no means know we are addicted right up until we just take a step back again and glance at ourselves in hindsight, at which time the destruction has now been finished.

In this section, we will talk about the five significant pink flags to view out for.

1. You Just Can’t Prevent

Don’t forget the wise Gambler who Kenny Rogers sings about? Every smart gambler understands when to keep and when to fold. Compulsive gamblers on the other hand do not have boundaries. They will gamble anything they have pondering that they are obtaining bouts of exciting, when in actuality they are driven by compulsions further than their control.

2. Gambling with Money Not Meant for Fun

Trouble gamblers will gamble with cash that they cannot stand to lose. They do not have a established gambling budget and will generally possibility income intended for critical items this kind of health-related expenses and other utility charges.

3. Gambling to Get or to Recover Losses

If you obtain yourself gambling a lot more for the sole objective of hitting the jackpot than for fun, you want to reevaluate by yourself. Similar situation applies if the most important driving pressure at the rear of gambling is to get well losses that you experienced suffered previously.

four. Obsessively Considering about Gambling

If you consume, drink and snooze pondering about gambling, you may well previously be far too deep in the trench.

5. Borrowing to Finance Gambling

Have you ever borrowed dollars to finance gambling? Probabilities are if you have, points are not on the lookout so fantastic.

What other critical ideas do you believe indicate a difficulty with gambling? I think that you know them improved. You know what triggers that crimson flag and siren at the back of your head. A great deal of gamblers notice the signs or symptoms that position to problematic gambling in their lives, nonetheless halting results in being a quagmire.

[daysofourlivesrecaps]

Friday, 21 July 2023

Often, kinda by design, it feels like we’re watching three or four different shows on any given day.  But then occasionally we’ll get a gem like this one, where everything connects back to one single plot.

Steve and John are in Los Angeles. (You can always tell we’re in an exotic location because of the two or three shots of exceptionally generic stock footage before we cut to a set that looks very much like it exists somewhere in Salem.)

These guys are hoping to catch Jerry Prentiss, the actor who was involved in Nurse King’s weird plot to kidnap Abe. And honestly, their plan was pretty sound: Jerry left on a bus, so they took something faster than a bus to his destination so they can be there waiting for him when he gets off the bus. Nice job, Black Patch!

They pull a bit of good cop/bad cop with Jerry and for the first time, I sort-of understand what the point of John is. I mean, listen: I have come to love this character and the absolutely bizarre choices his performer makes to play him.

But I was never clear on what his role was in this private eye business of theirs. Steve is clearly the brains, the charm and basically everything else. But now I realize John growls like that because he thinks he’s being intimidating!

This does get answers out of Jerry, but Lani already managed that days ago by being both good and bad cop.

Lani is, indeed, still tied up in Nurse King’s apartment. 

And now — finally — she (Nurse King) is acting suitably crazy. Like, I was having real problems understanding her motives this whole time. She didn’t seem hostile, and most of the stuff she said and did (apart from the initial kidnapping) seemed relatively reasonable. But now, possibly sensing that this storyline will be ending soon, she steps up and takes us to the Promised Land of Batshittery.

Now she’s stopped answering to her real name and apparently actually believes she’s Paulina. And she treats Lani as though she’s the younger woman’s actual mother. 

She’s still definitely Nurse King, though. You can tell from the syringes full of sedatives!

She injects Lani with one of these when Lani hips her to the existence of the ankle monitor that was a condition of her temporary release from prison. “A number of law enforcement agencies, some of which aren’t just extremely dumb, made-up ones created for this show, will be using this to track me here,” she says.

So naturally Nurse King solved the problem the only way she knows how.

The real Paulina, meanwhile, receives a visit from Kate, who continues to hone those excellent “staying active in the story even though this has almost nothing to do with me” skills that make me love her so much.

Paulina expresses a lack of faith that people will be able to do their jobs effectively (whaaaaat? Not Paulina!) and cites the unsolved disappearance of Kate’s son, Philip, some time ago. “If they couldn’t find him, they won’t be able to find Lani, either!”

Philip was a real piece of work who antagonized a bunch of people and ultimately fled town with his mother’s help. Which Kate cops to to Paulina.

Then Paulina, realizing that a lot of the details of Philip’s faked disappearance (fell into the river but no body was recovered — only a small amount of blood) are almost identical to the details of Abe’s.

So she concludes that Abe must therefore still be alive.

Which… okay, she’s right. We know she’s right. But that is some positively Adam West Batman logical leaping right there, Paulina old chum.

At the hospital, Marlena and Kayla chat about their husbands definitely being in Los Angeles (you can tell because the caption said so!), then their conversation drifts to the subject of Nurse King.

Marlena apparently treated Nurse King some time ago, following the accidental death of Mr. Nurse King. Only — and I bet you’re not going to see where this is going, because it was a delightful surprise to me — those therapy sessions happened back when Marlena was possessed by the Devil!

I bet you people think I made all that Devil stuff up. It happened. And the repercussions of those events are still being felt! Marlena and Kayla realize that the Devil almost certainly encouraged Nurse King to feel guilty about her role in the accidental death of her husband (and three of their cats!), which may have led her directly to the aforementioned Promised Land.

Which sucks for Marlena, but also… A+ callback, Days!

And down at the police station, Rafe and Jada are still stressing over the fact that Lani is missing, when this US Marshall shows up to ask… about that thing I just said.

Yes, they did give this US Marshal the exact same name as the US Marshal from The Fugitive and subsequent spin-off movie, which was called US Marshals.

Marshal Significantly Hotter than Tommy Lee Jones reminds everyone that Lani has one of those ankle monitors, so they track the thing down to the dock set that I was certain they’d torn down to make that bus station in LA. (It’s possible that’s still true and they shot these out of order.)

And — oh no! — there’s Lani! And she appears to have been drugged via some kind of injection! BUT WHO COULD HAVE DONE THIS??

[lovesthecure]

I'm mostly flat, and I've gotten a lot of comments on this?

Dudes usually would ask if I was binding (though more like "so do you compress it, or?" because they they didn't know what a binder was called. Baby steps.) I'll give them this, they usually just had a lot of trans questions. It's an experience cis people don't get, so I understand. If I'm asked if I wanna answer shit in good faith, I usually will.

I wanna emphasize that the reason these guys assumed I was binding or flat was because... I am. I have the most minimal fucking growth on my chest. I'm not bragging. What I am doing is bracing you for the next paragraph.

Women would always comment. It wasn't ever innocent shit like "oh, do you bind?" It was always "but you have boobs!" They would grab my chest without permission, or try to point out the SLIGHT hill shape through my shirt. The amount of nonconsensual touching I have received from WOMEN invalidating my euphoria over a very nearly cutting-board flat chest? Is fucking astronomical.

Are there creepy men? Yes, I've met them. I've had my fair share of dude chasers, or dudes otherwise just being weird. I got hit on once by a dude and was like "oh, I have a boyfriend" and he just went "so?" There was a guy I knew who I found out fantasized about fucking me up the wrong hole, despite how open I was about my physical dysphoria. Creepy men exist.

I don't have to tell you creepy men are real though. Apparently, I need to remind you that cis women are also fully capable of being creepy.

Most of these women protested the idea they even had the capacity to be creepy.

I'd react badly to having my chest grabbed, because shocker! I didn't want my chest grabbed by some random woman invalidating my euphoria! I would react badly to that, or I would comment that maybe you really shouldn't be that focused on my chest that you somehow notice this minimal amount of fat? Because they were most certainly looking for it. They weren't just amazed because they didn't know binders existed, they were actively seeking out "feminine" biological shit on me. (A lot of these same people didn't like that I shoved socks in my pants to make a bulge.)

The response to me going "what the fuck don't touch me" was always "why?" They always said that they were a woman! They couldn't be weird! Or, because we both had the same assigned sex, this obviously wasn't sexual assault! It's not creepy, same parts! :)

These arguments are astounding, for numerous reasons. It speaks to the strange idea that women cannot sexually assault people, which is... Literally wrong, but go off. It also speaks to the "well you aren't a REAL man, you weren't BORN that way," type of thinking. There are circumstances where trans masc and trans men being trans is important (reproductive care is a great example,) but like... You grabbing my chest and me reacting badly is not the time to pull a "well it's different, because you're trans!"

These women going out of their way to remind me of even the most miniscule "feminine" part of my body is a real problem. I know other trans men who have gotten similar shit, and also been sexually harassed to meet said ends. It is transandrophobia. There is literally no way around it.

It's a fucking issue, and we need to be able to talk about it.

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 13: Drunk

Draco Malfoy was very, very drunk.

It was his twenty-eighth birthday and Harry had watched as his boyfriend consumed far more alcohol than was advisable. But Draco was happy drunk, so Harry let it be, trying to remember if they had any hangover potions at home because he was definitely going to need one in the morning.

Harry for his part had a glass of fire whiskey upon their arrival and then switched over to soda. The last thing they needed was for both of them to be so pissed that they couldn't make it home.

He watched with no small amount of amusement as Draco retold a story to his friends, making over-the-top gestures, and adding in character voices. Godric, he was adorable.

Harry was utterly besotted.

When he noticed that most of the drinks at the table were empty Harry stood up and headed over to the bar, profoundly glad that Angie remembered all of the drink orders since Harry didn't have the first clue what most of the former Slytherins ordered.

As he was standing there waiting, he felt Draco's presence next to him and turned his head to look at the other man, smiling in spite of himself at Draco's flushed cheeks and open smile.

"It's my birthday, you know," the other man informed him.

(Read more below the cut)

Harry rested his elbow on the bar and turned to him, "I had no idea," he deadpanned.

Draco pouted at him, "Aren't you going to buy me a drink?"

"Of course I am," Harry replied with a laugh. "You and all of your friends."

"My friends, too?" his lower lip protruded, "but then it might as well be their birthday."

"That is why," Harry replied as Angie set the drinks on the bar in front of them, "I bought you two, and I asked for a fabulous twisty straw."

Draco's eyes lit up, "Thank you!" he enthused as he took the drink from the counter. "But I feel it's only fair to let you know that I am taken."

"Sorry?" Harry asked as he tipped Angie and levitated the drinks.

"You bought me a drink, which was very kind of you," Draco said, batting his eyelashes at Harry, "But I already have a boyfriend."

Harry was too confused by that statement to get any words to come out before Draco had flounced back off to slide in next to Pansy.

Shaking his head he made his way over and distributed the drinks, he then got waylaid in a conversation with Blaise Zabini as the other man asked him "theoretical" questions about potions ingredients purchased off the black market and what the law says about such things.

Eventually, Pansy called him over as Draco was in a heated debate with what appeared to be a jumper draped over the back of a chair. "Alright, you," Harry said, carefully drawing him up from the chair. "Let's get you home."

"You know where I live?" Draco asked.

Harry laughed, "I do."

Draco stared at him contemplatively, "Alright, but you can't stay."

Shaking his head, Harry waved at all of the people surrounding them as they headed out of the bar to apparate. When they arrived at home, Draco stepped away from him, paused for a moment looking like he was going to throw up, then visibly contained himself.

Harry would have been very impressed if the next words out of Draco's mouth hadn't been, "Thank you for your assistance. You may go now."

"Babe, what?" Harry asked, taking a step toward him.

Draco put a hand on his chest, "You've been very kind but as I said, I'm dating someone."

"Ah," Harry replied cocking his head at him, "Who?"

"Harry Potter," he said proudly, "And I would never cheat on him."

"Good to know," Harry said, "But that's me. And I have some really, truly lovely plans for you tonight involving my tongue."

Draco stared off into space for a moment and Harry knew he was putting that overactive imagination to good use. "No," he said after a moment. "No, I love him. I can't."

"You love me?" Harry asked, feeling like his heart was about to beat out of his body.

"No," Draco replied, rolling his eyes. "I love my boyfriend. Harry Potter. Don't tell him, though." Then he looked confused for a moment, "Do you know him?" he asked. Without waiting, he continued, "He's bloody gorgeous," he added with a sigh, turning and wandering toward their bedroom. "And it's not an act, you know," he continued, "He really is as good as they want you to think."

Harry shook his head at his drunken ramblings and followed along behind the other man.

"But he's also," he hummed as though searching for the right word, "absolutely gloriously filthy. His tongue," he added with a little moan, "the things he can do with it."

"Oh?" Harry asked.

Draco nodded, "and his," he paused and cleared his throat meaningfully, "you know what. Sublime."

He bit his lip to keep from laughing. "Draco?"

"Hmm?" the other man asked as he collapsed onto their bed.

"I am Harry," he said softly, "and you should really get undressed before you go to bed. You hate sleeping in your clothes."

"You're just trying to get me naked!" Draco accused. "And I am telling you that it will not work. And if Harry finds out you tried to take advantage of me, he'll arrest you."

Harry sighed, giving up. There was no sense in arguing with him once he got his mind made up. "If I leave will you get undressed?" Harry asked.

"Mmm," Draco hummed.

"Seriously," Harry said, "You hate sleeping in your clothes."

"Mmhmm."

Harry sighed and gave it up as a lost cause, "Sleep well. Happy birthday."

Draco let out an inelegant snore and Harry cast a nox over the room. He grabbed a pillow and a blanket and went to sleep, comforting himself with the knowledge that he could always put his plans to good use in the morning. They'd celebrate Draco's birthday all weekend anyway.

--------------

The next morning, Harry was woken up by his boyfriend crawling onto the sofa with him. "Hey," he murmured, smiling and pulling Draco into his arms.

"Why are you sleeping on the sofa?" Draco asked through a yawn. "I felt like shit when I woke up, did I smell? You could have just told me to shower."

"Yeah, you were not having any of that."

"You could have at least taken my trousers off, they're dreadfully uncomfortable," Draco complained as he snuggled in closer to Harry, threading his fingers through Harry's curls.

"I tried," Harry laughed, "You told me that your boyfriend would arrest me if I laid a finger on you."

"But you are my boyfriend," Draco said, obviously confused.

"Yes, that was my point exactly. But you thought I was a stranger who was trying to get into your pants."

Draco pulled back, "Stop taking the piss."

"I swear to Merlin," Harry said as he pulled Draco closer and stroked his hands under his shirt over his soft, warm skin. "It was very sweet, you were very faithful. Although you did tell a person you thought was a stranger about the size of my penis."

The other man groaned, "What else did I do to embarrass myself?" he asked, burying his face in Harry's neck.

"Nothing," Harry whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Draco's head. "I love you, too, you know."

Draco jerked up at that pronouncement and would have tumbled off of the sofa if Harry hadn't caught him. "What did you just say to me?"

"That I love you, too," he said with his brow furrowed.

"You weren't supposed to know that!" Draco said, jumping up off the sofa.

Harry sat up and grabbed his glasses off the coffee table so he could see properly, "So you're okay with a random stranger knowing but not me?"

"You know what? Yes," he said. "Yes. Because I don't have to worry about a random stranger thinking that I said it too soon, or that I fell too fast, or that I'm just trying to manipulate you, or-"

"Draco, stop it," Harry said, standing up and tugging him into his arms, "I don't think any of those things! I just told you that I loved you too."

"Well, I don't want to have forced your hand," Draco said stubbornly, "I don't want you to grow to resent me later."

Harry shook his head and pressed a kiss to his nose, "I love you, Draco Malfoy, and I was planning to tell you this weekend anyway."

"You were?"

"I was," Harry affirmed, "Now will you please let me hold you?"

"You really were?" Draco asked, stroking his hands over Harry's forearms and allowing him to draw him a bit closer.

"I really was," he repeated. "Because I really love you."

Draco gave him a shy, little smile, "I love you, too."

He kissed him lightly, "Good, now that we've got that sorted, I do believe that it's still your birthday weekend and I was deprived of the opportunity to use my," he broke off, tapping his chin and pretending he was trying to remember, "what was it you called it? my gloriously filthy tongue."

The other man seemed to consider this for a moment, then he shrugged, "I'm not even embarrassed about that," he replied. "That's true."

Harry laughed and hoisted the other man up into his arms, wrapping Draco's legs around his waist as he kissed him. He carried the other man back into the bedroom and tossed him onto the bed, very in love, and very excited to use his gloriously filthy tongue.

Day 12: Adrenaline | Day 14: Louder, So Everyone Can Hear

[breathings-of-the-heart]

Stuck on You (Levi x Childhood Friend! Reader) Part 2

A/N: Hey guys! It’s been kinda a while but here is part 2~ I have this habit of writing and rewriting my pieces since I’m never fully satisfied by them, but overdoing that is just as bad so I’m going to leave this as is ajflkajada  The amount of love my first part recieved was so genuinely heart warming and I cannot express my gratitude enough. I’m nervous to post this because of it, to be honest, because I hope it lives up to the expectations. Thank you to everyone who has shown me support, it means so much! If you guys want a part three, or maybe just a short epilogue, I will consider it so let me know! Also if you would like to be tagged in my future works, comment below or send me a message <3 I hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: Angst, Season 1 and No Regrets ova spoilers

Word Count: 4k

If you haven’t already, read part one here

As a former member of the Scouts yourself, you knew the ins and outs of the military’s regulations. Because of this, you also knew your request was a strange one, seeing as soldiers weren’t typically allowed visitors, but you hoped your letter appealed to the more personal side of Commander Erwin. Apparently it somehow moved the man, seeing as you had been brought by carriage to the legion's base the following night.  

The clopping of horse hooves eventually stopped, and you were currently being escorted into the building by another familiar face, her hand already outstretched to help you out of the vehicle as soon as the door swung open.  

“I understand your reservations about this, but you’re brave for coming here. I think he’ll be relieved to see you, (Y/N),” Hange spoke, her fingers hovering over the small of your back as she guided you down one of the many hallways, lantern swinging in her free hand. “I think he could benefit from seeing a familiar face.”

Your eyes were downcast, staring at the floor as rooms upon rooms passed by along your path. You couldn’t speak if you tried, words seemingly stuck in your throat and unable to keep up with your racing thoughts.

Deep breaths, (Y/N).

For better or for worse, there was no need to reply, as Hange came to a halt not a second later. She squeezed your shoulder gently before bringing her knuckles to the wooden door, knocking once, twice.

Your hands were clammy, heart thundering in your ears as you tried to steady your breathing.

“Levi, someone is here to see you,” Hange’s voice rang out firmly.

There was a distinct sound of a chair being pushed back, and footsteps growing nearer. Time slowed down, and you began to second guess every decision up to now. Would Levi even want you to be here? Will he be angry? You felt like bolting away and forgetting about the whole idea, suddenly afraid of his reaction. Afraid that your presence would only make everything worse.

Your eyes were widening as you realized the possibility of leaving was too late to explore, Levi already turning the handle from the other side. So instead, you swallowed your pride, stood up straighter, and pushed away the growing sensation of nausea in your gut.

“Who could possibly be important enough to interrupt my--”


The second his eyes met yours, Levi halted in all movements. Your gaze was fixed on him as well, every bit of longing settling back in your bones the second it did.

He looked nearly the same as the last time you saw him, clean and kempt as ever, hair styled the way it always was-- the same way he’d keep it when he used to chastise you for running your fingers through it.

And those stoic, gray irises that drew you in your were fierce, yet somehow emptier. At the sight of you, his flooding emotions became too much to properly register, unlocking every moment you’d ever spent with him as they replayed all at once.

“(Y/N)?” He couldn’t hide his disbelief, eyes widening ever so slightly. 


“Hello, Levi.” 


~~~~~~~~~

Never did Levi think he would grow to care for another group of people the same way he had for you, Farlan, and Isabel. But sitting around Petra, Gunther, Eld, and Oruo, he found their excited chatter over the dinner table endearing more than anything. The ever stoic look on his face didn’t change, and he would never openly admit it, but it felt reminiscent to be surrounded by trusted company like this. All of Squad Levi had full faith in one another; it was necessary for the battle field. This created an unspoken bond between all of them that the unreachable Ackerman did not picture building with others again.

Fate worked in funny ways, he supposed.

Sounds of clinking silverware and chatter filled the mess hall, sun setting outside of its many windows and painting the expanse in an orange light. The males eyes drifted towards the entrance of the room expectantly, where a clock rested above the doorway. He took a sip of his tea whilst squinting at it, attempting to get a better read before feeling a slight jab in his side.

“Looking for someone, sir?” Petra inquired, with a hint of deeper emotion in her tone that went right over the male’s head.

He glared at her in annoyance, having almost spilled his drink as the thought of you returned to the forefront of his mind.

It was strange, seeing how capable you had become after spending those months by yourself in the Underground. They made you a bit more calloused than when Levi last saw you, carrying over to your skills as a Scout. You never used to be skilled at riding ODM gear, not even when Levi tried to teach you in your youth. Seeing you slash Titans without blinking an eye was like watching someone completely different.

But you had to learn, since you had no one to protect you.

Your open displays affection had grown fewer and farther between as your time in the Survey Corps dragged on. At first, Levi thought nothing of it. Truthfully, the Captain had hardly noticed, with how busy the both of you were. He wrote it off as stress, or the workload catching up to you. Or, maybe, it was that nagging thought in the back of his conscience he dared not dwell on: he had turned you into this, after being away for so long and then failing to protect your friends.

But as your words replayed in his mind like a broken record, too late he realized this wasn’t the case.

“I see the way you look at her. I see it because you used to look at me that way.”

“Captain?” Petra repeated, leaning forward to study his distant countenance and successfully pulling the man out of his thoughts. “She’s probably just training.”

He rested his hand on top of her head, turning it away from him and sighing.

“Eat, Petra. I don’t need you to be whining about hunger during our patrol tomorrow morning,” he chastised, forcing his eyes away from the doorway.

After that talk, Levi had watched you go, telling himself that you’d return soon enough. Yet could not shake the feeling in his gut that there was something amiss. He pushed away the pit in his stomach. You were safe, you were healthy, and that was all that mattered. Humanity’s Strongest had other things to focus on, after all, and tuned back into his comrades’ conversation. The man blended back in easily, occasionally offering a few of his own comments as the meal dragged on.

Every so often his thoughts would shift back to your conversation earlier that day, and he realized that you were wrong. As close to Petra as he had gotten, there was a stark difference between you and her:

No matter how strong you’d get, and no matter what you thought of him, Levi would always shield you from as much of this world as he could.

But it was better this way. Better if you moved on from him and easier to do if you thought it was because he wanted Petra.

If only he knew your last words to him “I’ll be back for dinner,” had been a lie.

It had been strange for him when you didn’t return. Levi tried not to think about how Kenny had done the same, instead grasping for a reason. For once, he could not read your thought process. The male had no idea why you’d voluntarily leave, after everything. He knew better than to hold onto certainty, but you’d thrown him for a loop. You were always the one to communicate, the problem solver, the one who understood him without much direction. Didn’t you know that you were irreplaceable? He should have come clean: told you that he didn’t see Petra that way, and just didn’t have the heart to admit he didn’t feel good enough for you anymore.

Did he ever even get the chance to say “I love you?”

His regret multiplied tenfold as he began to understand that maybe if he had, you would’ve stayed.

~~~~~~~~

A strange sense of comfort washed over the man as you smiled softly, small hands clasped together in front of you. He blinked, wondering if you were simply a mirage caused by his sleep deprivation. But you remained where you were, after all this time, standing at his door. For once in the man’s life, his mind was drawing a blank.

“I’ll leave you guys to it, then,” Hange stated, excusing herself and soon disappearing out of sight. 


Her statement pulled the both of you back into the present, and you were suddenly self conscious of Levi’s stare. You tucked your hair behind your ears and gestured towards his office, unable to gage his reaction to your presence.

“Would it be alright if I came in?” you asked shyly, astonished he hadn’t slammed the door in your face the second Hange left. 


To your shock, Levi simply nodded, stepping aside to let you through. Your movements were unsure and hesitant, stark in comparison to his: calm and collected as ever.

Just like any space Levi occupied, the area was clean and tidy, a lantern sitting upon his desk the only source of light against the cloudy night sky. It smelled like tea leaves, sandalwood, and disinfectant, a signature scent that made you fill with nostalgia. As the click of the door echoed behind you, the reality of your situation set in, and you turned around to face the man you were here to see.

His gaze had never left you.

“You’re hurt,” was the first thing that left your mouth, concern evident as you studied the bandaging that peaked above his knee length shoes. 


“Long story,” Levi offered curtly, eyeing you up and down from a few feet away. “One I don’t particularly care to tell you.” 


“Of course, that’s fine,” you agreed softly, a weak smile pulling at your lips.

You did your best to mask the hurt, knowing you deserved to feel it. It hurt to be here, the fear that Levi hated you previously keeping you away. Now that you were facing the music, that fear seemed more realistic than ever. Your brain wracked to change the topic before your mind could continue overthinking; desiring instead to cut the unbearable, building tension that never used to exist between you two.

“How are you, Levi?” it was a stupid question, but you no longer knew how to talk to him.

“(Y/N).”


The way he said your name was sharp and challenging. You quickly cleared your throat and looked away.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Of course you’re--”


“--Why did you leave?” Levi effectively cut you off, orbs narrowing as you dared to come closer.

The question caught you off guard. You thought you’d made it obvious with your last conversation with him those years ago. Surely, he had some idea, although his pained expression said otherwise. His fingers twitched at his sides, a movement you didn’t miss as your eyes flickered back to his in surprise. He had been so composed just a moment ago, that the sudden shift gave you whiplash.

Now his fists were clenching, as he waited in the painful silence, knuckles turning white.

“Why did you leave?” The phrase echoed tauntingly in your ears, over and over again.  

You don’t know what came over you. All you knew was that you needed to rid him of the rare, defeated look etched into his countenance. To purge him of this feeling you caused. Whether reaching out would help or hurt, you didn’t know.

But you needed to be near him.  

Levi’s eyelids screwed shut as you brushed your thumb across his cheek. The action was so simple, so delicate, so unsure and so familiar all at once, and at the feeling, the Captain’s composure finally came undone.


He reached up and gripped your wrist, as if you’d fade away if he let go. In previous years, it was always you who craved skinship, yet it seemed as if a weight had been lifted off Levi’s shoulders to have you this close. Your touch still felt like the comforting warmth of a campfire; the type that would make anyone want to stay forever.

“I’m sorry. I thought you’d be better off without me,” you whispered. “I didn’t want to cause you any pain.”

He let out a breath.

“Then why are you here now?” his question was more defeated than hostile, which you hadn’t expected.

If someone asked a few hours ago, your answer would have been much clearer. But now, the logic that brought you here seemed overshadowed by doubt. After all this time, and after everything that had happened between you and Levi, any semblance of a relationship with him seemed unsalvageable. You told yourself this mantra over and over until it stuck. So why were you here?

Levi must’ve thought it audacious, for you to run away like a coward and still think you were relevant to him.

“I owe you so much. Whether I ended up being wrong or right, I’ve always acted with your best interest,” you sighed, thumb brushing over Levi’s dark circles. “Truthfully, I don’t know if I’m any use to you now. I might be the last person you want to seek comfort from, but on the off chance that I still matter to you, I’ll always come back,” you whispered earnestly.

Levi’s grip on your wrist tightened imperceptibly, and you longed to bury your face in the crook of his neck; to feel him wrap his arms around you in his embrace once more. It seemed as if Levi was staring into your soul, his shallow breaths mingling with yours at this close proximity as he opened his eyes to fully drink you in.

“I’m here to tell you that if you need me, I’ll stay.”


He looked to the side as if brushing aside your touch, hand falling away from the raven-haired man’s face as he did so. It felt like rejection, as if he was brushing all of you away with a simple turn of his head.

Silence.

“You’re a real idiot, (Y/N),” he spoke finally, voice nearly out of place against the stillness.

Moonlight suddenly peaked through the window, showering you in a bath of silver light. Levi recognized this look. You were wearing your heart on your sleeve, offering everything you had to give; eyes wide and honest, shining with a vulnerability that even after a lifetime of knowing you, he had never seen before. The man felt conflicted at the sight, annoyance prickling under his skin as you somehow managed to hold him together and tear him apart all at once with your presence.

Losing his squad twist that knife in his heart, convincing him that he was cursed to be left by everyone and his superhuman talents only doomed him to live a life alone.

But now, here you were, standing within arms length: despite the pain you caused, still the only person he had left. Only you could draw this much emotion out of the typically monotonous man. He couldn’t tell if you were a blessing or a curse, but in the moment, all he knew was that he didn’t want you to leave again. He needed you to stay here, with him, the way it should be. Because you were family.

And true to your word, you did.

“You should really get some sleep, you know,” you stated after a while, closing the door with your foot as you entered with two fresh cups of tea. 


You watched Levi fill out paperwork on the other side of the desk, bringing the cup to his lips in the strange fashion you always teased him for. His gaze flickered up boredly.

“You know I don’t sleep. You go on ahead, though. The bed’s behind that door,” he paused, gesturing somewhere behind him. “I hardly ever use it.”  

You shook your head, reaching forward and plucking Levi’s pen from his hand.  


“What you’re drinking is caffeine free. I switched it, so you have no excuse now.” You ignored the indignant scowl growing on the Captain’s face, urging him to listen. “Please, you really should rest. You know you need to.”

It took an entire hour of imploring and convincing for the man to finally give in, him grumbling as you helped take off the boot on his injured foot and ushered him onto the bed. You knew you were the last person with any right to tell the short Captain what to do, but knowing Levi, he was running on an hour or two of sleep while his body was begging for rest. And yes, you were very much hypocritical, draped across the couch in Levi’s office, staring at the ceiling. But none of that mattered to you, as long as he was okay.

You had been lost in introspection, being a room away from your childhood best friend and first love after so long a surreal experience. It felt strange to be back here, but you were too tired to dwell on how strangely out of place you seemed in a place you once called home.

The weight of your abundant emotions from the day finally crashed down, fatigue settling in. You rubbed your eyes, and snuggled closer to the cushions, letting the darkness claim you.

And in the other room, as Levi slipped out of his uniform, shaking his head in exasperation. His last thoughts while he inspected the door as if he could see you through it, was that of course only (Y/N) (L/N) could be more stubborn than he was.

As he slipped under the covers per your command, the ghost of a smile spread across his lips at the thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps it was the constant danger of where you grew up, and the need to always stay on your toes, but for as long as you could remember, you’d been a light sleeper. If someone so much as stared at you for too long, your body would jolt awake, ready to take action within a moment’s notice. There had been many instances where this came in handy in your past; even after years of seldom disruption in your now boring life within the walls, this was a trait you never seemed to grow out of. So it wasn’t hard to notice the heavy breathing and panicked movement from behind Levi’s closed door.

Just like for you, some things never changed-- when it came to old habits, you knew the man like the back of your hand. The reason he rarely ever slept was one you were quite familiar with. One both of you struggled with, and probably always would. Nightmares never seem to stop. You’d gotten through so many of your own rough nights with your friends by your side.

Levi, however, always refused to admit how they affected him. Insisted on going through it by himself.  

The subconscious urge to look after one other was most likely one you'd never grow out of, even if Levi had. You didn’t think twice before making your way across the office, swinging your legs across the sofa, awake within seconds. Without missing a beat, you stood up and made your way to Levi’s personal sleeping quarters, knuckles rapping against the frame twice. Levi’s shallow gasps quieted, and when you realized he didn’t plan on opening the door, you steeled your nerves to do it yourself. This was what you were here for, wasn’t it? To offer some comfort?

He did want me to stay.

“Levi?” You called into the darkness gently, feet padding foreword as your eyes adjusted to the lack of light.

His silhouette was upright in the bed, no doubt staring at you menacingly.

“I'm fine, (Y/N). Go back to sleep,” he snapped.

That didn't deter you, for he would never openly admit vulnerability. This was by no means new behavior. Besides, the strong emotion behind the Captain’s voice was an easy tell that betrayed his words. You pressed on, sitting on the edge of the mattress.

“Do you remember the time we were teenageers and you got sick, but couldn’t afford medicine so I took that sketchy job you specifically told me not to?” Your back was to him, yet you could feel Levi peering at you.

“Obviously,” he humoured you with a reply, knowing you weren’t going to leave. “You came home half alive and I felt like the most useless piece of shit in the world.”

You chuckled, fingers fiddling with the white sheets beneath them.

“Yes, which was unfair to yourself but also something I did not realize since you called me pretty much every name in the book,” you smiled, the memory oddly fond despite its events. “You were so angry, but I was also scared out of my mind... which was more important than your anger, I suppose. So you let me lay next to you that night. That was all it took to make me feel safe again.”

There was a long pause, you trying to get your words together in a way that could allow Levi to understand how you felt right now.

“I know what you’re thinking; what you’ve been thinking your whole life. You haven’t failed anyone and that stupid idea should be the furthest thing on your mind. Take it from someone who knows, alright? So many lives have had meaning because of y--”

His hand closed around your wrist, the grip much like it was the day you left him.

This time, he would not let go.

“--Stop, (Y/N). Don’t.”

You hadn’t realized there were tears falling down your cheeks until Levi turned your face to look at him. Trying to look away in your embarrassment, you laughed bitterly. His grip did not budge as he examined you sternly.  

“Just be quiet and go to sleep, alright?”

You wiped at your face, determination etched into every fibre of your being.

“Mark my words, Levi, I will make you believe me.”

Levi rolled his eyes but tugged at you once more, opening the duvet in an invitation. When he sensed your uncertainty he simply nodded, arms winding around your waist as you finally crawled in beside him. Both of you knew that there was so much that still needed to be said; so many buried feelings and pain that would only take time to unravel. It felt like a miracle to find yourselves in this situation, pushing aside the thousands of emotions and questions and misunderstandings the two of you had, if only to stay together in this moment.

You didn’t need Levi to know that you still loved him; not while he was coping with another loss. It would be selfish to spring that on, and that was not what you were here for. But you had to tell him:

“I missed you.”

Levi hummed, nose brushing against yours in the close proximity.  

“You better not be gone when I wake up,” he chided in response, orbs fluttering shut.

Your fingers threaded through his onyx black locks, brushing through the knots soothingly. Knowing you’d help this man heal no matter how long it took, you took comfort in the realization that he’d finally let you do just that.  

“I’ll be right here. You’re not alone, Levi. I promise you never will be.”

He pulled you closer, thankful that there was at least one source of warmth left in his life that he could hold onto-- especially after coming to terms with and almost having been certain he’d never experience this feeling of contentment, again. But here you were to prove him wrong, a living slice of home in his arms.

It may have been wishful thinking, but you could have sworn you felt Levi’s breath fan across your hairline, a soft voice whispering “Thank you, (Y/N).” before you felt yourself slip away into slumber once more.

taglist: @asterroidd @chucky-26o1 @silversxble @belovedwindermere @christina-mj-stan @leviackerrman @cravrat @thekohakuriver1 @batakprincess @sunisenpai

[cosmicjoke]

So I just got through chapter’s 51 and 52 of Attack on Titan, and one thing that stuck out to me in 51, other than Levi’s obvious, deep anger with Erwin, which I’ll talk about in a minute, was how Levi made it a point to tell Connie that he’d done a good job after coming back with Hange from investigating his village.  Once again we see here Levi’s immense compassion for other people.  Nobody else really thought to give Connie that encouragement, despite his obvious distress in that moment.  They all were aware that Connie had lost everyone in his village, including his family, so it really demonstrates Levi’s thoughtfulness, once again, for other people and what they’re going through, that he takes the time to say just a few, kind words to Connie here.  

Then of course, there’s the big exchange in this chapter between Levi and Erwin, and there’s so much going on here.  But the first thing I noticed is the shift in Levi’s attitude, after he notices Erwin smiling upon hearing Hange’s theory about the Titan’s being humans.  At the beginning of this scene, Levi is showing Erwin a great deal of concern for his physical state, apologizing to him for him and Pixis showing up to talk, knowing how tired he must still be, saying to Erwin that he’ll understand if he would rather him and Pixis just come back later so he can keep sleeping.  Levi is giving Erwin the option here to deal with all of these new developments that they’re all dealing with later, and that offers a really insightful glimpse into the kind of respect and consideration Levi has for Erwin leading up to this point in the story.

What’s really interesting is the shift in Levi’s attitude here, after he sees Erwin smiling.  Levi starts to try and ask Erwin a question, after Hange’s revelations about the Titans, and he sees Erwin smiling to himself with a glazed, distant look in his eyes, and Levi’s horror is readily apparent.  He figures out almost immediately that Erwin is excited by this news, and Levi’s reaction is one of repulsion.  He even tells Erwin that he’s going to make him sick.  I think Levi’s reaction here is also partly fueled by his own feelings of deep dismay and horror at learning that all this time, he’s been killing other human beings.  So to see Erwin seemingly HAPPY about this revelation must seem particularly grotesque to Levi in that moment, while he’s dealing with his own feelings of guilt and despair and hopelessness.  Levi’s anger here is REALLY obvious, as he asks Erwin if this is the real reason he joined the Survey Corps.  We see Levi’s belief in Erwin starting to erode here, in real time.  Part of Levi’s anger, I think, must also stem from knowing that he’s put his faith entirely in Erwin, followed him with full belief in Erwin’s altruistic intentions, but now he has to face the possibility that his faith has been misplaced, that indeed the very REASON he joined the Corps to begin with, his faith in Erwin and his greater vision, may have been built on a lie.  This coming on the heels of realizing that Titans were actually humans, and he’s dedicated himself to killing them for years.  All of this leads you to really understand Levi’s controlled fury at Erwin in this scene.  When Erwin gets annoyed himself at Levi and tells him to lay off of him, and asks him to show him some pity, Levi says with obvious derision that, yeah, Erwin IS pitiful.  We see later in the scene Levi turn Erwin’s own words back on him, about him being mentally and physically exhausted, almost mocking Erwin with them as he reveals to him that he’s chosen to make the 104th his new squad and had Eren and Historia moved to an isolated location.  Levi’s anger here is really palpable, and it demonstrates the tension I think Levi’s probably always had with Erwin and their relationship.

Levi respects Erwin immensely, and I have no doubt he’d been ready to tell Erwin about his plans for the 104th with a lot more cordiality and willingness to involve him in that decision before Erwin’s motivations became revealed to him here.  But there’s always been that kind of conflict between them too, where Levi was willing to put his faith totally in Erwin’s vision, and in his ability to make the right choices, in order to advance the cause of humanity, but at the same time, felt deeply uncomfortable at times with Erwin’s methods towards achieving that goal, his willingness to sacrifice the lives of so many to that end, often resulting in the deaths of soldiers with no, substantial gain to be had.  He’s deeply aware of Erwin’s ruthlessness in getting the job done (we see that awareness later in chapter 52, when he asks Hange if they should run or kill their enemies before they can strike, and says it’s just like something Erwin would do when Hange says both).  It was Levi’s faith in Erwin, though, and his belief in Erwin’s purity and the righteousness of his cause, that allowed Levi to put his misgivings about Erwin’s methods aside, because he fully believed Erwin’s intentions were only to benefit humanity, and win them back their freedom someday.  So seeing Erwin smiling here, and having that faith in Erwin’s intentions thrown into question, alongside the awful revelation that Titan’s are actually humans, is obviously a pretty devastating blow to Levi’s own sense of balance and place, throwing into doubt what it is he’s been fighting for all this time, whether it was even real or not.  It’s like in one, fell swoop, Levi’s lost any amount of certainty in both what they’ve all been fighting for this whole time, and in the person he had put the most faith and trust in to guide them in the right direction.  I’m not sure how people could miss Levi’s anger towards Erwin here, or the reasons for it.  Levi is shown something in Erwin that makes him seriously doubt whether Erwin actually cares about humanity at all, or people at all.  Erwin appears happy that it turned out that Titan’s were humans, and Levi has no context, no way of knowing WHY Erwin would be happy about that.  He doesn’t know about his father, or the things his father told him, or how his father died.  So to Levi, it must just seem like Erwin is getting some sort of sick joy out of the revelation.  Again, to see something like that in the person you believed in the most, a person you admired deeply and thought of as superior to you, as holding a greater vision than you ever could, would be really, really hard.  It’s like Levi’s hero letting him down in the worst way possible.  

I think this should also be looked at in the context of Levi’s own experiences in life, and how that shaped his world view.  Levi comes from an extremely hard, deprived background, one of extreme poverty and desperation and violence.  That background, that difficult childhood, resulted in a necessary cynicism and jadedness in Levi.  He knows the way the world works, knows how hard life is, and how cruel and ruthless people can be.  He grew up in a world where there was no pretense, no civility or politeness to hide behind.  He grew up in a world where it was kill or be killed.  We see this weary understanding of how things really are later, again, in chapter 52, when Levi is explaining to Hange and the rest that they have two options, because the MP’s and those they work for aren’t going to just give up on getting their hands on Eren and Historia.  He knows they’re only going to try more forcefully and violently to get what they want, because that’s the way the world works, and that’s the way people are.  He also shows his worldly understanding of these sorts of things when he asks Hange how many of Nick’s fingernails they pulled, and knows that Nick likely didn’t talk because they pulled more than one.  It tells us about Levi’s experience and how he’s been exposed to the darker, crueler side of humanity, more than anyone else in that room.

So Levi also understands that if they just wait around, they’ll all eventually be killed.  He understands they can’t be passive here, and have to act immediately.  He impresses that reality unto Hange, who’s still reeling from Nick’s death, and forces her to make a decision as to what their next move should be.  He doesn’t allow her to wallow in her despair, and he does this for the sake of Eren and Historia, and all of them.  Once again, we see Levi being most concerned for the greater good, ready to act however is needed to help the most people.  He knows Hange is hurting, but he knows also that none of them can afford to be, as he says to her, timid.  They have to move.  Well, anyway, my point that I’m trying to make is that Levi’s life experience has forced him to be cynical about other people’s motivations and characters, about concepts of nobility and morality.  To look at other people’s true intentions with a skeptical eye, because he grew up in a cut-throat environment, exposed to deep poverty, trauma and pain, where people no doubt would turn on you, or abandon you in a moment for nothing more than a scrap of bread.  With that in mind, you have to realize that Levi’s faith in Erwin is rather remarkable.  That he’s able to BELIEVE that deeply in another person, to believe in another person’s goodness, and purity of intention, given Levi’s background and the life he’s lived, is extraordinary, and really tells us so much about who Levi really is.  Despite every experience in his life informing him  that he should be skeptical and cynical and mistrustful of people and their intentions, despite his every experience telling him that the world is a cruel, ugly, awful place filled with loss, pain and grief, Levi still wants so much to believe in something better.  To believe in purity of hearts and intentions, to believe in a higher morality and goodness.  And despite all of his life experience telling him otherwise, Levi is able to believe that’s who Erwin is.  A person with a higher, better moral standing, a person with a pure and true heart.  He believes it all the way.  So, to then have that faith, which Levi somehow held onto against all odds and reason, dashed against the rocks in a single, terrible moment of realization, would be horrible.  Levi is someone who wants so much to believe there can be a better world, with better people in it.  And I think Erwin represented that possibility to Levi, for a long time.  And so to learn that his belief in Erwin was, perhaps, too idealistic, to have that skepticism that his life’s beaten into him affirmed, rather than rejected, must have felt like the worst kind of betrayal to Levi, and just a crushing disappointment.

Of course, Erwin later is able to prove to Levi that his faith in him wasn’t misplaced, as he lives up to the ideal Levi saw in him to begin with, with Levi’s help and encouragement.  But that’s a different post altogether!  When I get to that part of the manga, I’ll be positing about it as well.

Also, Hange’s own sense of horrible guilt and remorse in these chapters, both over realizing she’d been experimenting on human’s this whole time, and over Nick’s death, was an amazing parallel to Levi’s.  I think the two of them share so many similar feelings and such a similar depth of feeling over everything.  Always trying to do the right thing, and struggling so much with whether the choices they make are the right choices, or whether any of this is worth the sacrifices they’re forced to make.

[giggles-and-freckles]

hi abi!! <3 for the prompts, how about “You shouldn’t be this easy to carry.” with obi-wan to bby anakin?

13. “You shouldn’t be this easy to carry.” // (from these prompts)

“Oh, you’re...here,” Obi-Wan says, pausing at the doorway, but entering the room anyway. Anakin looks up from where he sits on the floor surrounded by droid parts. He pushes over-sized goggles up on top of his head.

“Yeah. I’m done with classes for the day.” He grumbles something else under his breath that sounds suspiciously like “thank the gods” but Obi-Wan ignores it.

“I just assumed you would be in the refectory.”

Anakin scrunches up his nose. “Why?”

“Because it’s dinner-time...and that’s where you eat...?”

“Oh,” Anakin says, pulling the goggles back down and focusing back on his droid. The tool in his hand lights up, a small fire on the end of it welding two pieces together. Obi-Wan holds back his nag about Anakin singeing the carpet. “I had breakfast.”

“No lunch?” Obi-Wan frowns.

“No. I had breakfast,” the boy repeats simply, squinting down at the droid.

Obi-Wan comes to sit on the sofa behind Anakin, watching the boy work. “What do you mean? You...you only ate breakfast?”

“Today, yeah.”

Obi-Wan huffs. “Anakin, you can’t do that. Just because you want to come back here and work on your…” He regards the array of droid bits with a thinly-veiled grimace. “...droids...doesn’t mean you can skip meals. That’s not good for you.”

Anakin looks up at Obi-Wan in confusion. “I didn’t. I told you, Obi — I had breakfast today.”

“But no lunch? Dinner? That’s —”

“I did dinner yesterday,” Anakin says, returning to his droid.

“You did…” Obi-Wan begins to echo his padawan, but stops mid-sentence. A potential reality drops on top of it with a start. “Anakin. Anakin, pause your work and look at me.”

Anakin sighs in annoyance but obeys nonetheless. “What?” he whines.

“You only ate dinner yesterday?”

“Yes.”

“Padawan, how...how many meals a day do you eat?”

Anakin’s face screws up at this, like he’s irritated to have had to stop his work for a question as silly as this. “One,” he says simply.

“One?” Obi-Wan yelps.

“Why are you being weird? I —”

“Anakin!” the older jedi cries. “For the past two weeks, you’ve just...you’ve only been eating one meal?”

Anakin’s eyes widen as he takes in Obi-Wan’s expression. His bottom lip begins to quiver, interpreting Obi-Wan’s outburst as anger toward him. “I’m sorry. I —”

“No, no, Anakin,” he sighs, dropping down to the floor next to the boy. He rests a tentative hand on his shoulder and wonders if it’s normal to feel the bones of a nine-year-old with such distinction. “I’m not angry. I’m...I’m concerned. You’re a growing boy and...and you’ve only just got here. Why are you only eating one meal a day?”

Anakin doesn’t look at ease just yet, but he manages an answer. “Thought...thought I was supposed to,” he mumbles. “On Tatooine, I’d...that’s —”

“You only ate once a day?” Obi-Wan asks incredulously.

Immediately, red colours Anakin’s cheeks. Flushes of embarrassment. Obi-Wan mentally kicks himself.

“No, it’s all right. I just...I didn’t know that. I apologise, Anakin. I assumed you understood how mealtimes work here. We...eat three times a day. A morning, mid-day, and early evening meal.”

“Every day?” Anakin asks in a small voice, not quite believing it.

“Every day.”

“But where do we get all the food? There are so many jedi here and —”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says gently, “most people around the galaxy eat three meals a day.”

“That’s not true,” Anakin says immediately, shaking his head. “Even Watto only ate once. Some of the Hutts ate twice a day, but...there’s not enough food on Tatooine for everyone to eat three times.”

For the first time, Obi-Wan considers this. One meal a day? Even two meals a day seems dismally insufficient. He can’t imagine an entire planet abiding by that norm. But as he thinks of the difficulties of the desert planet, he realises perhaps it is not so challenging a belief after all.

“On Coruscant, we eat three times. On occasion, on a long mission perhaps, rations may be shortened and sacrifices may need to be made, but...we almost always eat three times a day. Do you understand?”

Anakin nods.

“This is very important, padawan. With the amount of physical exertion you will be doing, you must have proper proteins and supplements. No skipping meals.”

“Yes, master,” Anakin says dutifully.

Obi-Wan goes to fetch dinner for both of them. They eat it on the floor of their shared quarters, Anakin babbling on about the mechanical process he was undergoing on the droid and Obi-Wan nodding along. The excuse to be silent is appreciated. The past weeks since Naboo have been gruelling.

Eventually, the waste of their meal lays among the droid bits on the floor around them. Anakin chatters on, hardly pausing to breathe until his eyes begin to droop. Obi-Wan asked if he was tired no less than ten times. The boy shook his head fervently every time and took a breath, apparently waking himself up and finding a new source of energy to prattle on for the next half-hour.

His fight against his own drowsiness only lasts so long. One moment, he’s describing the difference between a levy drill and a hingesaw and the next, his head is rolling onto Obi-Wan’s shoulders.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan prods, tilting his head to get a glimpse at the boy’s face. The response comes in the form of a shallow breath, labouring its way across Anakin’s chest. His mouth forms a small ‘o’. Completely asleep.

Obi-Wan sighs and shifts, moving his arms under Anakin’s shoulders and knees, pulling him up and off the floor. The boy’s face twitches at the movement but settles back into an expression of serenity within a moment.

“You shouldn’t be this easy to carry,” Obi-Wan murmurs, more to himself than to his padawan, as he makes his way into Anakin’s room. He gently deposits the boy onto the bed, not bothering with any of his clothes. Instead, he simply hits the lights and moves to leave.

“Obi?” a small voice stops him.

He hums in response, peering over his shoulder in the doorway.

“Thank you,” Anakin sighs, turning over in the bed to face the wall. “Gonna...gonna get strong like you.” He smacks his lips together as he falls victim to sleep again. “Promise.”

Obi-Wan allows a small smile to play across his lips — a rare sight these past weeks. “I have complete faith in you, Anakin.”

[cinnamonrusts]

i’ll see you in the village -- 3

parts: 1 2

Chris closes in on your location and he prays to see that you’re alive and well. However, you’re on the opposite side of the secluded village and come face to face with the big honcho herself, plus some of her troublesome “children”. (chris redfield x f!reader)

                                                    ✧.* ✧.* ✧.* ✧.*

Chris's heart pounded in his chest as the squad’s van got closer and closer to the blip on the laptop’s map. He hoped that you would be okay - maybe staying in a home or met a friendly local... Your smile was all he could picture when he closed his eyes and took a deep breath in to calm down. However, when he opened them, the van veered off away from the main road where the rinky-dink cottages were scattered about and headed into the woods. “Where are you going?” he asked as he leaned into the cab. Night Howl was behind the wheel, “Following the ping, sir.” Chris swallowed hard, if you were alone in these dark woods -- something could’ve went wrong.

The vehicle bounced around on the uneven ground and Chris held on to the back of the seat to keep himself upright. His eyes never moved from the windshield and his keen senses were on alert for any sign of you. Lobo spoke up just as the ping reached its loudest pitch, “Says we’re here.” Chris opened the door with one quick yank and he jumped out of the van. He pulled out his flashlight and his gun from his belt as he observed his surroundings. The area was as quiet as death and there were no signs that you even there. Chris walked around the area for quite sometime as his team watched him from within the vehicle, they exchanged brief words in regard to if they should help or stop him. But decided to let him do this unless he was met with danger.

His desperation reached an all time high and he started to shout your name into the dark. “[Y/N]!” Chris continued to walk and shout until his boot kicked something that was laying on the road. He kneeled down and shined his flashlight at the item that caught his attention. Chris picked it up and realized that the crumbled pile in his palm was once a cell phone. Technology seemed to stay at a standstill in this area and was mostly untouched by the outside world -- so why was there a cellphone here? The only explanation was that it was your phone. His tired faced drained itself of color and his heartbeat quickened to an unmeasurable rate. He was silent but his mind was loud. If anything were to happen to you, he would tear this entire place apart and tear through anyone just to get to you. His fist closed around the broken phone and crushed it more. As he came to a stand, he breathed out through his nostrils loudly and let the plastic crumble from his fingers.

Lobo stepped out from the van to approach Chris with concern, “Everything alright, Alpha?” Redfield’s eyes were fixated on the trees before him and he was silent - not even a twinge in his face, he was blank. “They took her,” he finally spoke after an awkward amount of silence. His head turned toward Lobo, “I’m gonna get her back.” Lobo nodded, “But Alpha, don’t forget about the main objective... with Winters.” Chris grit his teeth before he barked, “YOU DON’T THINK I KNOW THAT?!” He instantly felt regret and apologized for his outburst. His team was completely faithful to the man and followed him to the ends of the Earth. But, he was scared to lose anyone else... he’s lost too much already and if he lost you... he was unsure if he could handle that. Lobo patted his shoulder a couple times, “Don’t worry, Alpha. We got your back and we’ll find [Y/N].”

                                                    ✧.* ✧.* ✧.* ✧.*

The Duke listened to your story intently and when you finished, he erupted in laughter. Your face crinkled in surprise at his reaction, “Did I say something -- funny?” you ask, offended. The Duke continued to chuckle before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “If you’re going to tell me a tale, my lady, at least make it believable.” You scoff and thought briefly about how good you thought your story was but -- it didn’t fool this large man that sat before you. “Now, why don’t we start again, American?” The jig was up and you might as well just tell the truth. “How could you tell?” you ask and he chuckled once more. “Gypsies haven’t been around this area for nearly fifty years! And also, you lack of an accent from the area you claim to be from... it is rather funny, if you ask me!”

Your ego felt somewhat hurt by this stranger but that was besides the point. If he could easily see through your ruse, then maybe so would Miranda... “So...” you start to say before the wagon got slammed into from the side. You tumble around inside the cart as it flipped several times before it landed upside down. The Duke had been separated from you as the back part of the wagon broke free from the front part he was in, and the horse carried him away to safety but left you behind

.

You groan loudly as you roll to your side and try to push yourself up but couldn’t because of an excruciating pain in your leg. It is hard to focus because of the trauma that your head had taken from the crash plus the trip down the hill earlier. Once your vision cleared, you could see a rather large piece of wood protruding from your upper thigh. “Shit!” you curse as your shaky hands hesitated to pull it out. But it was too painful to even touch and your training kicked in, if you took it out, you would more than likely bleed out due to where it was located and you were far from help.

Loud noises shuffled around from outside of the wagon and you began to panic. Your hands shuffled through the broken pieces of wood that were scattered around in an attempt to find your pistol. The curtain at the back of the wagon lifted slowly just as you found your weapon, and you proceeded to shoot a warning shot. The curtain dropped and it was silent for a moment but your aim was still up. Suddenly, a large, black root slinked up under the curtain and yanked you out from your cover. You screamed loudly and desperately tried to aim for something to shoot at but you found yourself being held upside down. Stupidly, you emptied your clip into the air as you hoped it would hit the root. 

✧.*

A woman stepped out from the shadows to slap your pistol out of your hand and you instantly recognized her face once she stepped into the moonlight. Her blonde hair and attractive features... they-they matched Mother Miranda! It was Miranda! Shit. Now you were deep in it... You followed the root that had a tight grip around your ankle up to the hem of her dress. It was apparent that she had abilities similar to that of the mold and BOWs, even better. “There was word of a rat in our nest,” she hissed, her voice feminine and powerful. Miranda’s stare was cold as she walked closer to you; her face closes in on yours and you could feel her warm breath on your sweat stained skin. “And the snakes don’t care much for rats. American agent rats to be exact.”

The root lifted you higher into the air and you were dangled above her head. Miranda looked up to you, “I think I will let the others help me decide what to do with you.” she smiled before the root slammed you down into the ground and your vision faded black.

Miranda lifted you from the ground and held your unconscious body in her arms. Black feathers spread from her back and wrapped around the two of you, then disappeared in a swirl of black.

✧.*

An unknown amount of time passed before you came to. The sound of a few people talking caused you to stir, their loud voices rang in your ear and irritated the horrible headache you had. “I say we strip her down, cover her in honey, and throw her to the rats! A rat for a rat!” a man’s voice boomed with excitement and it was the first sentence you could make out while coming to. “Let me have her! She’ll be turned into the finest of wine!” a woman’s voice that was not Miranda’s yelled over the man’s.

When your eyes opened fully, three faces turned toward you. “Well, well, good morning, sleepy head!” the male grinned and lowered his sunglasses to get a better look at you. A dark haired woman across from him stood from her chair and her insane height towered over you, “She looks healthy and plump enough to craft an excellent bottle.” The man stood from his chair and pushed her a bit, “You always want to turn the women into wine. Boring!” 

The two of them began to bicker back and forth for several minutes until one of Miranda’s roots grabbed hold of your throat and reeled you in. “You two can fight over the child’s father. She - she will be mine to toy with, I’ve made up my mind,” the leader smiled a menacing grin which caused your blood to run cold. Inside you hoped that Chris would punch  through the door and save you from your predicament, but that chance was slim to none. “Begone my children, I have work to do.” They obeyed her wishes and left.

  ✧.*

She wrapped her wings around you once again and kept you restrained while she forced you into her laboratory that was beneath the village’s grounds. “I could kill you but that would be a waste.” she spoke as she strapped you to a table in the middle of the room. You wiggled violently as you tried to free yourself from your imprisonment but cried in pain at the open wound in your leg. “A strong American agent like yourself could be an interesting addition to our family... think of it as an eye for an eye.” she walked away to a shelf and reached for a large glass jar which had a sort of creature inside. “You’ll be the first outsider to receive a Cadou implant. And I am oh so curious to see how you adapt...” She reached into the jar, pulled out the pulsating parasite, and slowly approached you. 

Screams escaped your mouth as you thrashed around in another attempt to break loose but your restraints were so tight that they dug into your flesh. Miranda pushed your head down with force and pressed her palm into your forehead. The “Cadou” writhed around and long tentacles sprouted from within its fleshy mass and grabbed onto either side of your chest . Your last breath was a shriek of terror as it attached itself to your body and burrowed into your torso.

[chosonore]

part two | yearning

yearning [noun. a strong feeling of wishing for something, especially something that you cannot have or get easily]

pairing: kamo noritoshi/f!reader

summary: your relationship with noritoshi was like a game of cat and mouse; no matter how hard you tried to escape from him, he would always find his way back to you.

wordcount: 8.2k

content/warnings: friends to enemies to lovers, language, somewhat suggestive, noritoshi is kind of a dick but i promise it gets better so please don’t lose faith in him, we’re somewhat following the timeline of the anime/manga so spoilers ahead!! but what follows afterwards is purely pulled out of my ass lol, lowercase intended [UNEDITED]

a/n: hello, here i am again with a super long chapter ( ˙꒳​˙ ) it is so incredibly messy and i’m so sorry if it gets confusing for you; this just really shows how sporadic my writing process is, i have some guidelines that i follow but sometimes venture off my path when i suddenly get a new idea. nevertheless, i hope you can somewhat enjoy this chapter. feedback or just your thoughts are much appreciated! for those that are waiting for the ~steamy~ content, it is coming next chapter hehe. as always, stay safe everyone (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

previous - masterlist - next

"noritoshi, could you just stay quiet today? i'm really not in the mood," you sighed as you entered the training grounds. the exhaustion from the mission the day before was clinging onto your bones, heavy and admonishingly. the normally exciting sparring lessons seemed dreadful, knowing that all students were to practice today. to practice the balance within the team, utahime had claimed the week prior as she was reprimanding your lack of discipline when it came to noritoshi. stubbornness ran in the family; you refused to back down when someone was hurting your pride. said stubbornness came back to bite you - instead of taking a break to fully recover, you claimed that you would be fine with the help of your reverse curse techniques.

as the days came and went, the yearly tournament slowly approached. after the devastating defeat last year, everyone was on edge and determined to beat tokyo tech. well, that excluded todo, he was just looking for stronger opponents it seemed. noritoshi, on other hand, appeared to be more agitated than usual - if he wasn't barking orders at the other students, he would criticize their fighting styles. you knew he wanted to win the tournament at all costs, to prove himself worthy of the position as the kamo clan head. but he was too rigid about it, rarely accepting help and haughty when questioned. you've been avoiding him as best as you could and of all days, today had to be one where you could not. opponents would be swapped every ten minutes so everyone could practice with another student - facing noritoshi for ten minutes was easy. so you thought. 

"can't promise anything, princess," noritoshi retorted smugly and pat your head like he usually did when he was trying to get a reaction out of you. life always found a way to prove you wrong. for some reason, noritoshi had made it his goal to get under your skin as much as possible on this particular day and it worked. it was childish to engage in this banter but you couldn’t help it. the feeling of not being taken serious by noritoshi had always bothered you. it almost seemed like he wasn’t considering you equal to him, always looking down on you. being stressed wasn’t good, your mother had always reminded you, so it was best to remain calm and collected.

stay calm and collected, calm and collected, you repeated in your head. gritting your teeth, you slapped his hand away and jogged away from him towards todo. at least he'd leave you alone while you were near todo - probably to avoid todo getting mad at him and not wanting to hear about takada-chan again. he was the ultimate and fool-proof shield. the taller male was walking at a leisurely pace in front of you, leading the group as per usual. you caught up to him, slowing down so it didn't look like you just jogged all the way here. away from the menace that was noritoshi. todo glanced at you suspiciously before subtly turning around. a guilty groan left your lips. of course he knew, he always knew. as the unlikely friendship was blossoming between the two of you, you rapidly realized that todo was far more perceptive than he would ever let on. even though he took lighthearted jabs at you, he didn't care enough to intervene; it was a mutual understanding. in a way, you appreciated that he treated you like everyone else, not once had he tried to approach you about your deteriorating relationship with noritoshi.

upon seeing the unlikely pair, miwa speed up as well to join them. even though todo scared her to no end, your presence eased her nerves a little. after all, you weren’t scared to put him back in his place when he was being dramatic. she nudged you gently in greeting, nervously clasping her sword in front of her. "do you think we'll win this year's competition? we've been training a lot, so i hope i can show off some of my skills."

"never say never? even if we lose, it's a good experience to learn from," you replied wryly. while the students of the kyoto tech were strong and coordinated well with each other, noritoshi and you could easily destroy the balance. he didn't know when to stop, persistently pushing your boundaries and you fell for his tricks every time. as long as you could work out a strategy that involved working alone or with a partner that was not him, you'd be fine. your safest bet was to work with miwa since you were both sword users and have practiced together extensively. if noritoshi and you exhibited enough chaos to tear the world apart, miwa and you represented the perfect balance when fighting.

"you're our secret weapon though!" miwa exclaimed excitedly, elbowing you gently. "no one knows you can heal, so we'll use that to our advantage."

"uh…"

"what? don't tell me you-"

"i've asked yuta about advice before," you interrupted her, scratching your head sheepishly. "he's one of the very few people who can use reverse cursed techniques, so i asked him to give me some pointers and how to use it more to my advantage."

when yuta participated in the competition the year before, you were absolutely mesmerized by his level of skills and how he had supposedly mastered them in such a short amount of time. of course you hadn't told anyone that you were talking to him - everyone was still salty about the defeat and would, undoubtedly, have crucified you on sight. truthfully, you didn't understand why everyone was so hellbent about hating the students of your sister school. weren't you all colleagues in a sense? yuta was nice and respectful towards you, always trying his best to explain you how to implement his tips. along the way, you might have developed a tiny, fleeting crush on him but never acted on it. it was only a crush after all and you didn’t feel certain about it not being a mere distraction from your feelings for noritoshi. perhaps it was the way he made you feel, the way he treated you like noritoshi used to before. you couldn't even deny it, you missed your old 'toshi. when you looked at him now, it hurt you, seeing all the traces of gentleness having left him.

"really? you never told me! what is he like? he looked like he was really nice but there were moments where i was really scared of him. well maybe not him but rather… that curse."

"uh, yuta is actually not that scary. he's really helpful and always there for you when you need advice. i think i've improved a lot since we've started talking." you made a mental note to thank yuta again if you got to see each other anytime soon. apparently, gojo had sent him on a mission overseas a few months back and ever since, your exchanged messages grew to be rather sporadic. still, you appreciated that he made an effort to text you every now and then to let you know how he was doing and in turn, also asked about your wellbeing.

"fraternizing with the enemy, i see," noritoshi's voice rang out beside you, dangerously close to your ear. it made you jump in surprise, not having sensed him earlier - your hand automatically shot out to hit him, only for him to catch it in time. you shot him an annoyed glare. beside you, miwa and todo glanced at each other, silently agreeing to ignore the squarreling pair.

"i don't see how that's any of your business."

"it is if it jeopardizes our chance at winning," noritoshi narrowed eyes at you in suspicion. of course he didn't trust you, you were nothing but a mild inconvenience to him. you didn't owe him an explanation, not today and not in the future. any friendship or friendliness between you was long gone. refusing to look into his eyes, you attempted to tug your hand away from him but instead accomplished the exact opposite as noritosh tightened his grip. "what did you tell him?"

"he only helped me with training, that's all! it doesn't concern you anyways so-"

noritoshi was irritated, you could tell. the anger was rolling off him in waves, intimidating even you. why was he so annoyed by the fact that you asked yuta for advice? it wasn't even farfetched - the only other alternatives were gojo and ieiri, both of which you hadn't mustered up the courage to ask yet. wasn't it in everyone's best interest for you to become a great healer? noritoshi would know best - he was the driving force behind your ambition, the sole reason why you worked to the brink of exhaustion just to show him that you didn’t need his help, that you were worthy of a higher rank.

"i don't want you to hang out with the tokyo tech kids, especially not with him."

"wait, what?" you gaped at him in disbelief. "is this just because you have personal beef with some of them? leave me out of this, i just want to improve and you don't get to tell me what to do." with that you shoved the taller male, stomping past the other students towards utahime who was looking at you in disapproval. you missed the upset frown on noritoshi's face as he followed you, wanting to reach out but stopping midway. it wasn't the right time or place to let you know why he didn't want you around them, not yet. seeing you hang out and being relaxed with everyone else but him hurt him, oh how it hurt him. he wanted you close to him, only see him, talk about him excitedly and with stars in your eyes like you did when you talked about yuta. and yet, he couldn't let you know. the only way to keep you orbiting around him was to play these silly games, rile you up and drawing a reaction out of you. it was the only way to make you pay attention to him. and so he did.

calm and collected, my ass, you thought two hours later. of course todo and noritoshi had completely eviscerated the rest of the students with no mercy, leaving everyone in a sour mood. whatever strategy your team would have for the tournament was probably thrown out the window, the two of them would take care of it anyways. not that they would stand a chance against yuta.

“yuta isn’t here?” the disappointment in your voice was palpable. you did look forward to meeting yuta again, thinking that he might have come home from his overseas trip for the tournament. but you supposed getting to know the other students wasn’t too bad, you were interested in the first years and their skills. they certainly looked more approachable than your classmates. miwa told you how todo and mai had met two of them a few weeks prior and promptly started a senseless fight that was then stopped by the second years. it landed them in the water as utahime gave them a lecture - while she didn't tolerate the childish behaviour, everyone else seemed to turn a blind eye to it. noritoshi had scoffed in disapproval upon hearing the news, uttering something about not wanting to associate with dimwits like them. 

"nope, he's still overseas. it doesn't matter anyways, we'll still beat you without him," maki replied with a confident grin, arms crossed as she took in the kyoto tech group of students. regardless, you broke out in a sprint and jumped, engulfing her in a warm hug. while you two didn't talk as much as yuta and you did, you were still friends. she was a source of inspiration to you, a master of all kinds of weapons whom you deeply admired. maki gave you some awkward pats before pulling away to introduce you to the first years - megumi, yuji and nobara. the younger students were wary of you, most likely because of their encounter with todo and mai. you couldn't hold it against them, their intensity and stubbornness was something you had to deal with daily after all. you silently cursed the two brash students before taking a deep breath and extending your hand to the ones in front of you.

“hi, i’m y/n, nice to meet you,” you introduced yourself with a friendly smile, visibly relieved when they shook your hand and introduced themselves. especially nobara seemed to be eager to get to know you, fussing over your uniform and inquiring about your skills. you were glad they welcomed you, not wanting to cause any more trouble than would undoubtedly arise for the duration of the tournament. while megumi seemed to be cautious and more reserved around you, yuuji and nobara already treated you like their friend. subconsciously, you envied them for the wholesome friendship dynamic as it reminded you of what you used to have with noritoshi. the fleeting thoughts left as soon as they made an appearance in your head, disappearing when nobara grasped your hand and pulled you towards the buildings to show you around. unbothered by the reactions of your fellow kyoto tech classmates, you followed her - their energy was stifling and the tournament didn't start until later in the day anyways. it was useless to stay with your group and practice, you'd only overexert yourself.

“y/n.” noritoshi called after you sternly, glaring at you when you turned to look at him - ever since stepping foot into the estate, he was moody and more serious than usual.  it was probably him being tense about the tournament, the spirit to win deeply ingrained in his bones. none of the other students seemed to be bothered by the presence of the tokyo tech students, so why should he? ignoring him, you continued your journey until you felt a force harshly pulling you back by the fabric of your hoodie. intuitively, you could tell it was noritoshi. 

"noritoshi, let me go," you snapped at him irritated, struggling to free yourself from his grasp.

"we have things to discuss, did you forget that?"

"i don't want to," like a petulant child, you gave him an angry look as you stood your ground. tension filled the space between you, tethering on the edge of anger. why was a normal conversation never possible with him? and why did he treat you like a child? you let up when megumi appeared to your side, shooting noritoshi a warning glance as he attempted to remove his hand from yours. even though he didn't know what your relationship was like, he stepped in regardless - you were impressed by him. even if noritoshi remained calm, he was a menace to deal with afterwards.

"she said no, didn't you hear-"

"get your hands off of her." noritoshi growled at megumi, the sudden influx of cursed energy that was surrounding him made all students in close proximity freeze. you couldn't hide you shock either, he had never been this threatening towards someone else. he might push boundaries to the extreme, knowing that he could away with it due to his bloodline and family name but he had never outright threatened anyone that didn't do his bidding. with those words he pulled you towards him, wrapping his arm around your waist protectively. paralyzed, you blankly stared at him. his cursed energy was suffocating you, never had you experienced this amount of pressure. not only that, the unusual closeness set your heart ablaze, burning down the walls that you'd carefully constructed around it.

"you're being ridiculous," megumi challenged the older male, unbothered by the strong pressure. he didn't understand why noritoshi was making a big deal out of this. surely he didn't consider megumi a threat? noritoshi's hold on you strengthened and with panic you realized the blood-red markings appearing on his face, he was being serious, oh god he was going to rip megumi apart-

"hey hey, stop it you two," panda's voice snapped you out of your trance and seemingly noritoshi's as well as he wacked his arm. "you just got here and you're already stirring up trouble, are you not ashamed?"

noritoshi simply scoffed and let you go, his cursed energy dissipating with the movement. the rest of the students were as stunned as you were, no one daring to make another move until the tension evaporated. todo was the only one who looked rather annoyed, smacking the back of noritoshi’s head as he started to tell him off - noritoshi, however, kept walking past him towards the dorms that they were staying at for the week. it was almost like there was steam coming off his head as a result of holding his anger in. nobara gaped at you in surprise, pointing at you accusingly. “i didn’t know that was your boyfriend!”

you spluttered in horror, quickly reaching out to her to try and cover her mouth so she wouldn’t say anything incriminating. “n- no you got it wrong! we’re not together, not at all! i hate noritoshi,” you floundered, hastily trying to set the record straight. nobara didn’t look like she believed you, pushing your hands away while giggling. she wiggled her eyebrows at you, whispering at you about how lucky you were to snag such a handsome guy although she thought that he really didn’t have to overreact like that because megumi was harmless. covering your face in embarrassment, you turned away from her and caught a glimpse of an amused todo winking at you.

“i’m serious, nobara!" whatever whining you did, the two of them didn’t let up, making you wonder what you ever did wrong to deserve this scrutiny. as your last resort you grabbed nobara's hand, dragging her along towards a secluded area in the estate. being the subject of the earlier conflict was already troubling enough, you didn't want the other students to get the wrong idea by her wild speculations. nobara was still giggling when you arrived, pinching your arm playfully.

“c’mon, it’s impossible that there is not something between you! did you see the look on his face? i don’t think he would have cared had it been any other person,” she gushed excitedly, her face lighting up in glee. with no doubt, nobara enjoyed poking her nose in other people's business, seemingly having a knack for sniffing out the hidden. a dejected sigh left your lip. a younger you would have jumped in happiness after finally receiving noritoshi's attention but the present you knew better. there wasn't more to it, you told yourself and yet, a tiny sliver of doubt made its way into your mind. could he really have been so bothered by another male being so close to you? todo didn't count, obviously.

"no, there's nothing to it, i promise. we don't have the best relationship anymore and mostly fight. i mean yeah his reaction was really uncharacteristic but…"

"anymore?"

"noritoshi and me grew up together and were childhood friends. i- i didn't agree with his antics as we grew up and we drifted apart after that and now… hate each other? he’s just unbearable and we don’t get along. everyone at kyoto tech knows that so they’re mostly ignoring our fights. and it’s childish, i know, i know..." 

“are you sure? like super duper sure? because it didn’t look like it to me,” nobara contemplatively rubbed her chin. the wheels were turning in her head, something didn’t quite add up. even at first glance, whatever you said made her feel doubtful.

“trust me, i wish it was different too. i mean i used to like him a lot and it makes me sad and i wish we could at least be civil around each other. but he just makes me so angry,” your ramblings stopped nobara’s thinking - so that’s what it was. normally, nobara really didn’t care about other people’s business but this was too juicy to pass up. how far could she push it to make you realize?

why was the layout of all these buildings so confusing? and why were there so many buildings to begin with? you’ve been wandering around for at least five minutes now and you still couldn’t figure out where the hell yuji’s and megumi’s rooms were supposed to be. they didn’t even have any signs around. at this point, it didn’t matter if it took longer than anticipated - the others could wait. nobara had insisted on having a small get together the night before, to get to know each other and play some card games. you couldn’t refuse, it’s been a while since you just hung out with friends without any quarreling. there was no harm in getting to know you future colleagues, even though your classmates were treating them like criminals. so instead of going herself and much to your dismay, nobara had sent you to fetch the other two students, claiming that you would be fine if you just stuck to the measly sketch she’d made for you. most of the rooms you’ve already knocked at remained empty so you couldn’t be far from their rooms, you concluded.

stopping in front of the last remaining door of the corridor, you took a deep breath. this had to be one of their rooms. slowly, you raised your hand to knock at the door when it was suddenly yanked open, startling you in the process and making you drop the piece of paper you were holding. what you weren’t expecting was coming face to face with noritoshi who looked at you as equally confused. he was the last person you wanted to see today, not wanting to confront him about his actions earlier. you couldn’t wrap your head around it; why had he overreacted in such a way? it wasn’t like you were in danger or in need of protection. for a brief moment, you thought that there was a sliver of strange possessiveness. you couldn’t quite place the emotions in his eyes, it made you shudder.

“oh uh, sorry. i was looking for yuji and megumi and this is very obviously not one of their rooms. sorry again. i’ll take my leave,” you awkwardly stammered, taking a step back. noritoshi’s figure was towering over you and in a rare moment, you felt intimidated by him. perhaps it was the dark look in his eyes that told you that he was not thrilled by what you just told him. before you could react, he swiftly grabbed your arm and pulled you inside his room, trapping you against the door.

“w- wait!” you protested weakly, pushing at his chest until his face slowly came into your vision. you couldn’t help but stare at his lips, watching them move as he was talking to you. your ears were ringing, you couldn’t tell what he was saying. the close proximity was suffocating and yet you craved more, not wanting to let him go.

“y/n? did you hear me?” 

“huh?” snapping out of your trance, you looked at him dumbfounded. noritoshi was frowning at you, slightly concerned about your state as you didn’t answer him. just then you finally got a proper look at him. it was a rare sight; noritoshi wearing casual clothes, a simple oversized shirt and shorts, and his hair down without the bindings. feeling nostalgic, your heart clenched. he looked like his old self, the ‘toshi that you loved dearly.

“i said, i don’t want you around them. i don’t- i don’t like seeing you with them,” noritoshi repeated with a strained voice. he placed his hands beside your head, inching closer to you.

“what- noritoshi, you don’t get to tell me who i can hang out with! last time i checked, we’re not even friends anymore so where do you get the idea that you can do this? what’s the big deal ab-” you didn’t get to finish your sentence when he pressed his lips against yours clumsily. you seized up in shock, not returning the kiss as a whirlwind of thoughts entered your mind. holy shit, he was really kissing you. but you hated each other, so why? why, why, why. when you didn’t respond, noritoshi pulled away in panic, spluttering apologies as he moved away from you. your emotional world was in chaos, all the buried and forgotten feelings for him breaking the dams and flooding your senses until the yearning became too much. you were reminded of the conversation you had with your mother years ago - you still wanted him, missed him. you wanted him by your side. desperately, you reached out, fisting the fabric of his shirt as you leaned up to kiss him. noritoshi caught you in his arms, wrapping them around you as he fervently returned the kiss. he was holding you like he was afraid you would dissipate into thin air, frantically pulling you in. his hands were roaming, discovering the expanse of your body.

his touches left you feeling delirious, high on pleasure. a mewl left your lips, pleading him for something, for more. your hands moved higher, feeling his chest and broad shoulders before you wrapped your arms around his neck. his name left your lips in breathy sighs as he peppered kisses down your jaw, pulling the collar of your shirt to the side to gain more access to the expanse of your neck. suddenly, you were hoisted up and pressed against the door as noritoshi held you by your thighs. you struggled to wrap your legs around his waist, to distracted by his relentless ministrations. by the time he's left multiple hickeys on your neck, you were whimpering mess. noritoshi's breath was taken away at the sight of you in his arms, lips swollen from the kisses, the glossy eyes, dishevelled hair and the hickeys that were slowly becoming more visible. he couldn't understand how carelessly you were letting him proceed when you supposedly harboured a strong dislike for him. nevertheless, he enjoyed it and wanted to savour the moment, ingrain it into his memory so he'd never forget why he was treating you like a nuisance.

a loud knock resounded from the door, followed by someone shouting: "noritoshi? has y/n been here?"

out of sheer shock, you shoved noritoshi away from you and nearly fell as you attempted to detangle yourself from him. he caught you in time, signalling you to stay quiet as the person outside was still shuffling around nervously. you slumped against him limply, letting your head rest against his chest. his heart was beating erratically. it made yours fill with pride as you could tell that you had the same effect on him as he did on you. still, the precarious situation suddenly dawned on you - you'd just made out with your sworn enemy and, yes you used to have a crush on him, enjoyed it very much. and by the looks of it, he would have continued if you hadn't pushed him away. the entire ordeal greatly confused you; was noritoshi just playing around with you? it couldn't be, he had initiated it after all. the cold treatment he usually gave you didn't match with his actions just now. you couldn't get close to him, not when he gave you mixed signals. you wanted someone who cherished you and was always sincere so you wouldn't have to second guess their actions.

"huh, i guess noritoshi's already sleeping. we'll have to check somewhere else, i hope she didn't get lost," the person outside mumbled as you stayed silent. the sound of shuffling was heard, then steps away from the room. you stayed put until you were sure they were gone and gently removed yourself from noritoshi's grip, not looking him in the eyes. he didn’t move, letting you go willingly.

“i’m sorry, i don’t know what came over me,” you apologized with a pained voice. “please forget that it ever happened and uhm, please don’t tell anyone.”

noritoshi’s eyes widened at your pleas, moving to stop you from leaving so he could explain himself to you. “y/n, wait, i can ex-”

hastily, you stumbled to open the door, dashing away from him until the building was out of your sight. you poorly hid behind a tree, sinking to your knees as you buried your face in your hands. what the hell. you just made out with your childhood friend turned enemy. your buried feelings were all over the place and your mind just couldn’t stay still. it messed with your outlook as well as your image of noritoshi, distorting and twisting it until you had to rethink your relationship. maybe all this time, you subconsciously hoped that he would return back to his old self and somehow give you an explanation. never having received closure on the end of your friendship, you would even forgive him for the sake of your relationship. were you this shallow? no, you simply harboured a lot of feelings for him. you weren’t able to tell what his thought process was - was he even interested in you? did he see you like that?

“there you are,” you lifted your head to see gojo walking towards you with his hands stuffed inside the pockets of his pants. you almost didn’t recognize him as he simply wore a pair of sunglasses and let his hair down. “the others are looking for you. what are you doing out here? trouble in paradise?”

“n-no! i just needed some time away from everyone to- to catch my breath,” you exclaimed indignantly and perhaps too hastily you realized when gojo smirked at you knowingly. why did everyone assume that there was anything between noritoshi and you? was it that obvious?

“uh huh. that’s not what your neck says,” gojo pointed out while wiggling his eyebrows and offered you a hand to stand up. “he really doesn’t like any competition.”

“fuck,” you cursed quietly, covering the hickeys with one hand while taking gojo’s with your other and pulling yourself up. it was embarrassing enough to meet one of the teachers like this but it was even more embarrassing to know that your teacher had seen the aftermath of your makeout session. 

“i’m not gonna tell anyone, if that’s what you’re concerned about. although it would certainly be funny to tease little noritoshi,” gojo was giggling and you knew he was greatly amused by the entire situation. it almost reminded you of nobara. you groaned in frustration as you trailed behind him towards the girls’ dorms. you needed to hide your neck so no one would question it or grill you until you confessed; the potential embarrassment was mortifying.

your group strategy was already falling apart when todo suddenly disappeared in the depths of the forest, not caring about your teamwork in the slightest. normally, it would frustrate you a lot more if you weren’t already preoccupied with your own troubles. todo would be fine anyways, the remaining group members could work on a strategy on their own. as mechamaru and mai were discussing, you shot a glance at noritoshi. he looked as deadpan as usual, probably not listening to the discussion as he worked better on his own and it was more or less decided that mechamaru and him would be moving on their own while the others would team up. otherwise, you couldn’t tell whether he was bothered by what had transpired between you the night before. on the contrary, he looked calm and composed, probably more focused on his goal than anything else. and for some reason it bothered you.

when you’d returned to nobara’s room last night, gojo had helped you make up an excuse. while dramatically gesturing around, he’d told them that he intercepted her journey towards the boys’ dorms to recruit you for training, claiming that he wanted to teach you more about reverse cursed techniques. although he saved you from scrutiny and embarrassment, you couldn’t help but feel like he might use it as leverage in the future. it was gojo after all, he was unpredictable. absentmindedly, you agreed to whatever plan the others had schemed and grabbed your sword, getting ready to move to your assigned position with miwa. while you had heard of the other students’ skills, you weren’t sure where to place their levels as there was always room for surprises. underestimating opponents was a beginner's mistake. the bell rang out, signaling the start of the tournament; with swift movements, the group members dispersed and slowly moved towards the "enemy".

in the distance, you could already hear loud explosions - it was probably mechamaru happily blasting away his opponents. you gritted your teeth in annoyance, the blasts were too loud for you to make out anyone approaching you. and as you predicted, someone was taking advantage of the noise to stalk up on you. barely being able to block the blow with your sword, you found yourself opposite of maki who was grinning at you. the challenging glint in her eyes told you that she wasn't going to go easy on you but you welcomed it. it was a good opportunity for you to grow and hone your sword wielding skills.

however, it proved to be more difficult to defeat maki than you'd originally anticipated. in mere minutes, maki had already disarmed miwa, leaving her defenseless and you were hanging on a bare thread. your grip on the sword was weakening, laboured breath making your ears ring. it was frustrating, knowing that after all those months of rigorous practice, you still couldn't win a fight. giving up wasn't an option, at the very least you had to give it your all.

"c'mon, you can do better than this!" maki teased you as you ducked away from the swipe of her spear. it missed you by a hair's width and left you scrambling to create more distance between you so you could heal yourself. maki's relentless hits didn't give you any rooms for it - you really had to learn how to constantly apply it to yourself without losing time. from the corner of your eyes, you could see that miwa had picked up the phone. she was probably calling for help, you thought and dished out another hit towards maki which she skillfully dodged. instead, she delivered another blow to your legs, making your knees buckle from the force. you used your sword to support you and took another breath before you tried to lunge at her. in the distance, miwa suddenly collapsed, making you stop mid-move and took another hit from maki that took all the air in your lungs.

"eyes on your opponent, y/n. you know better than to get distracted in a fight, you could've been killed in a real fight," maki reprimanded you as you coughed heavily, gasping for air as you slowly got back up. you were unsteady on your feet, not having enough energy to even heal yourself. conflicted by whether you should face maki again or help miwa, your eyes were flitting between them. maki took advantage of your uncertainty, dealing another blow to you that knocked the sword out of your hand. as your last resort, you kicked at her feet, trying to get her to fall, only to have her pin you to the ground.

"you're going to have to practice a lot more to beat me in the future," she sighed, picking up your sword. panic welled up in your chest - the sword was the only way you could possibly somewhat win this fight but even subconsciously you knew that it was over. reaching out for the sword in desperation, your vision was clouded with tears. it was frustrating, so so frustrating. why couldn't you be as talented as her? or have fast reflexes like noritoshi? why were you ordinary, not being able to make any progress no matter how hard you try?

"i know but i can't give up now!" you defiantly retorted, pushing at her with all might. "i have to win, i just have to show my skills for once and prove myself, i- i-"

even maki softened up at your heart wrenching sobs, easing up on her grip. you both knew it was over. you were probably already eliminated from the tournament, with no other possibility to redeem yourself. she knew that you tried your best and never once underestimated her but something irked her. it was your motivation, your driving force.

"y/n, there's no shame in losing. that's how you grow, make mistakes and learn from them. you tried your best, it's not easy to stand against me for so long."

"i know but there's- i'm still not where i need to be! look at how much progress the others are making in comparison to me! i've been practicing day and night and still, no one is noticing me. i'm just a measly healer and i-"

"y/n." maki cut you off sternly. "is this your motivation? proving yourself to others? you'll not be able to improve if you keep fighting for others. you need to start working on yourself, for yourself. you don't owe anyone anything. but you have to realize that trying to satisfy other people's needs will only make you unhappy and hinder your growth."

"i'm unhappy with my skills! i keep telling myself that it's okay, that i have a rare cursed technique but sometimes i just wish i had a flashy technique or be as strong as you. i don't want to be looked at as if i need protection, i don't want it! i just-" you hiccuped, sniffling again as you wiped your tears with the sleeves of your uniform. "i just want someone to acknowledge me, want him to accept me as an equal…"

"who?" maki's cold look made you freeze in your movements. you didn't mean to let that slip. no one needed to know that the entire time, you were vying for noritoshi's attention. but she was right; there was no point in giving it your all if it wasn't for yourself. it was a silly, childish dream of yours to be equal with him again. he was far out of reach and you couldn't catch up to him.

"n- noritoshi," you admitted in defeat. maki saw right through you, there was no point in lying. she raised her eyebrows at you but didn't question it further. after all, you hadn't told her about the background story. unless nobara had done so, you wouldn't doubt it.

"i'm not gonna ask you why. but this is my advice, do not fight for somebody else. if you relentlessly work on yourself for your own benefit, you'll see progress a lot faster. your technique might not be flashy but it is powerful, remember that. you're a valuable asset to every team," she concluded and pulled you up, awkwardly patting your back as you still sniffled. maki opened her mouth to tell you some comforting words but froze when another extremely loud boom resounded near the entrance of the estate. your eyes widened at the sudden influx of cursed energy - there was no doubt that a high-level curse had just entered the school grounds. you turned to maki to tell her the news but she'd already moved, pointing to miwa.

"take her to a safe place, you can't stay here! in your state, you wouldn't last against such a strong curse," maki yelled at you as she disappeared in the woods. you scrambled frantically, not wanting to be left behind. while you were useless for the tournament, you could at least still be of assistance against a curse. miwa was still laying on the ground, unmoving. you shook her gently, scared that she was seriously hurt. it seemed like she was just sleeping instead; you were relieved. throwing her across your shoulder, you winced in pain but persisted nonetheless. you had to get her away from here, who knows what curses were roaming around. your senses were flooded with the stench of blood and debris, the pressure of cursed energy, the loud rumbles. you couldn't tell where the others were but you hoped they were safe.

a loud thud startled you and you stopped, ready to draw your sword until realization hit you that it was utahime that was inspecting you. determined, you thrusted miwa's limp body towards utahime. 

"miwa will be okay, she's just sleeping! i'm okay too, don't worry, please just take care of her and i'll check on the others!"

"y/n, don't be stupid! you're injured and in no state to help others." utahime attempted to convince you; you shook her off stubbornly, insisting that you were fine.

"what if the others get hurt? i have to help them or at least warn them!" your resolve was firm and unwavering that even utahime couldn't convince you otherwise. slipping out of her grasp, you sprinted towards the source of the cursed energy. from far away you could already see the damage that the curse had caused. multiple buildings were torn apart, trees dislodged and- were those branches rapidly growing out of the ground? you watched in horror as the branches whipped around, following running figures on the rooftop of one of the buildings. upping your speed, you jumped towards the group to aid them. as you neared them, you could make out inumaki, noritoshi, and megumi fighting against the curse, maki trailing close behind. 

they barely stood a chance against the curse, every hit that they dealt, the curse would come out unscathed. "what's the deal with that curse?" you asked, panting as you joined them, coming to a halt behind inumaki. megumi was yelling something but you couldn't hear him as noritoshi turned to you and shoved you out of the way.

"y/n, what are you doing here?" 

"helping you guys? what the fuck does it look like?" you yelled back exasperated. why was he mad at you in such a situation? they needed any helping hand they could get to defeat the curse. while you weren't useful in fights, you could at least provide continuous healing. noritoshi didn't have any time to reply as the curse lashed out again, dodging it by jumping to the side. you stayed close to inumaki, swiftly healing him when he collapsed from the rebound of his cursed speech. you clenched your jaw, not wanting the others to see that you were slowly running out of energy and strength. next thing you know, a body was hurled through the air, landing near you with a thud. your heart filled with dread when your eyes fell onto the figure, recognizing noritoshi.

"y/n, heal them as best as you can and get out of here! take them to the teachers!" maki yelled out and this time you obeyed, too panicked about noritoshi's state. you were thankful that inumaki had enough energy to run after you'd healed him - hauling noritoshi's tall frame around was already difficult enough but even more so when you were exhausted. as you neared the gates, utahime was already running towards you with a concerned look on her face. you were glad that she was nearby, it meant that gojo and the other teachers were close and could defend you.

"what happened?" utahime worried but you couldn't reply. falling to your knees, you gently laid noritoshi on the ground. the injuries looked bad, there was blood everywhere. you had to stop the wound on his head from bleeding but your trembling hands were preventing you from doing so.

"i- i don't know, i just- i think the curse hit him and now he's unconscious and he's losing so much blood and-"

utahime pinched you firmly, snapping you out of your panic. she was already holding a cloth to noritoshi's temple to stop the bleeding. patting your hand, she told you in a gentle voice: "heal him if you still have enough strength but don't overexert yourself. ieiri will be here soon." 

nodding frantically, you placed your trembling hands on his abdomen and let your cursed energy flow. the strength was slowly leaving your body but you had to save him. you had to make sure he was okay, he couldn't die, not like this. regret was bubbling up inside you; what if this was the last time you would ever get to see him?just as you felt his energy responding to yours and saw his hand moving slightly, you couldn't hold yourself upright anymore. the last thing you saw was utahime reaching out to catch you as you collapsed.

you woke up with a startle, gasping for air as you sat up abruptly. sunlight was flooding the room and it felt uncomfortably hot on your skin. you pushed the blanket back but stopped halfway in your movement. your entire body hurt, muscles burning and screaming for more rest. and yet you couldn’t stay still as you remembered the previous events. how long were you out for? was everyone okay? gritting your teeth, you slowly moved out of the room. again, you were faced with the endless maze that was the tokyo tech buildings and stopped in your tracks, not sure which direction to go. you let out a sigh of relief when you spotted yuji in the distance, waving at him to get his attention.

“y/n!” yuji ran towards you, frantically gesturing towards your room. “you’re supposed to be resting! what are you doing here?”

“is everyone okay?” you croaked, now realizing how dry your throat was.

“yeah, ieiri did a good job of healing everyone! some of us are still resting though and so should you.”

“no, i… is noritoshi okay?”

“noritoshi? oh, you mean the guy with the long hair?” yuji nodded, curiously eyeing you as your shoulders dropped, the stress rolling of them. “yeah, he’s still recovering though. ieiri said that his injuries were probably the worst so he’s not allowed to leave the bed.”

“can you take me to him?” you asked with a small voice, doing your best to muster up a puppy face. yuji sighed, scratching his head sheepishly. you could see the conflict in his eyes, that he was thinking about rejecting your request. in the end, he shook his head in defeat and motioned for you to follow him. a small grin found its way onto your lips - yuji was just too nice, he couldn’t say no when people ask him for favours. the walk to noritoshi’s room was silent, neither of you knowing what to say. you knew it was selfish of you not to ask him about his wellbeing more or visit the others but you just had to see for yourself that noritoshi was okay. yuji stopped in front of a door, pointing at it.

“this is his room. he might be sleeping though… my room is down the hall so if you need me to accompany you back to your room, just call me.”

you thanked him quietly and watched as he retreated. taking a deep breath, you knocked at the door and waited for a reply. a few moments passed before noritoshi’s voice rang out, giving you the okay to enter. gingerly, you opened the door and entered the room. noritoshi was sitting on his bed, reading a book as if nothing had happened. you looked at him bewildered. he didn’t look like his injuries fazed him at all. despite the bandages around his head and arms, he remained calm as if nothing hurt. 

“noritoshi,” you breathed out, taking a seat on the chair near the bed. he didn’t spare you a look, keeping his eyes on the book. “i uhm. i’m glad you’re okay! when i saw you in that state, i was so so scared that i could lose you… i did my best to heal you, i know i didn’t do much but-”

“i didn’t need your help,” noritoshi snapped at you, placing the book on his lap. “i would’ve been fine without it.”

you were stunned. why was he so agitated? after you initial shock, you huffed in frustration. “what the hell, you could’ve died! i was trying so hard to keep you alive and you react like this? i know you don’t like me but even this is a low blow for you!”

“it wouldn’t have been a problem if you hadn’t inserted yourself into everything! you’re not helping anyone, just dragging us down; everything could’ve gone well if it wasn’t for you standing in the way,” noritoshi countered as frustrated, this time actually looking at you. you stared back at him in disbelief. you saved his life and he had the nerve to shot you down like this.

“does it really hurt your ego to admit that i was actually helpful? we were friends at some point so why do you insist on being such a dick? and here i was, finally thinking that we were getting somewhere- for fuck’s sake, we kissed and-”

“leave.”

you stopped rambling. the tired tone in his voice, the deadpan look on his face; he was serious. you couldn’t believe him. tears welled up in your eyes as you leaped from the chair and hastily exited the room, slamming the door in anger. 

you never wanted to see him again.

p.s: yes nobara gave you a wrong sketch of the buildings what about it hehe

taglist: @milkteeboba​

[power-of-plot]

Iida, Mirio, and Aizawa dating hcs please

Of course! But holy cow apparently this seriously inspired me, i hope this is ok xd

I I D A

Oh yes robot boi. Iida is someone nerdy in every aspect, his language even with close friends like Midoriya is very formal and polite, the same rule would apply when it comes to his significant other. Unlike what some would think, this doesn’t give your conversations a cold touch, on the contrary, it’d make him look chivalrous.

He’s a classic gentleman, he’d be the kind who opens the door and waits for you to walk in first or gives you his jacket when it’s too cold and you don’t have anything to cover yourself with, the second one would happen often in the classroom if you’re sensitive to cold. We are talking about U.A have you seen the measures of the classrooms and the entire area? It’s impossible they don’t have those huge air conditioners.

He highly respects the rules wich means, no PDA, on a certain level, no kisses to be specific. That doesn’t mean he won’t give you any affection, though every gear of his robotic soul is having a bad time working properly inside, he’d hold your hand or put his over your shoulder pulling you close when you’re sitting together. 

He definitely would do that thing of caressing you with his thumb. As you expected it from Tenya, this is a sort of robotic motion, his finger would move like a metronome but that doesn’t make it any less nicer, he is slow and gentle.

Honestly, he’d be nervous most of the time. ALSO! Tenya is very thoughtful, he’d ask (often verbally) if you’re okay with whatever he’d do, as times goes by the questions turn non verbal, for example he’d hold his hand above yours waiting for you to give green light or grasp it. 

“..Can i hold your hand?” “Sure!” “*DEEP INHALE AND BLUSH*” He couldn’t help to blush the first times. Specially on the firsT kiss but how would it be? A clasic scenenario after classes! And after you both have grown comfortable enough to each other’s touch. Seriously, if you like to go slow he's got you.

You two would be walking around in the campus after classes and he feels the tension grow.. he is analyzing every detail, he wants to ask but what if things get extremely awkward, he’s very tall- he’d have to bend down slightly (unless you’re nearly as tall as him) to do it so what if you flinch because it was unexpected.. he stops walking, he simply manages to say your name. You stared into each other's eye and then it happened, a big smile unexplainably forms in his lips complemented by a scarlet color across his whole face, his haircut made his head look like a strawberry.

There are going to be days you don't see him as much as you'd like, Tenya is very comitted to his hero patrols, he certainly would do extra hours from time to time or if the situation called for it. Let him know you like his hero suit! He’s thankful it has a helmet otherwise his flustered face would be exposed. 

Whatever position you cuddle in Iida would wrap his arms around you, not only that, he’d interlock his fingers so he has a nice grip. His cuddles would be the classic spooning or having your head on his shoulder with your arm over his chest and in case you worry about his arm, this guy doesn’t know limb numbness- he literally tenses and holds his arms up every five minutes.

He sends good morning/good night texts often on the weekends since you're practically living together thanks to the dormitory system, they vary depending on the day, some are a reminder to get a proper amount of sleep or! To get done with homework so you can enjoy your free time and maybe ask if he can go over to study *cough spend time together*

He'd send the classic heart emoji, very detailed but easy to comprehend videos explaining any difficult lesson and history related stuff like paint restorations or facts about iconic sculptures. Please don’t send him those videos of people accidentally breaking things on museums, he’s gonna feel like something breaks inside.

M I R I O

This ray of sunshine fell for you? Your luck is so big you’d get jackpot on a slot machine on the first try-. You’re undeniably going to be good friends with Tamaki and Nejire, specially her, expect to get questions one after another without the chance to reply when she finds out you’re Mirio’s significant other, Tamaki would take it way better.

Mirio’s goofyness and confidence combined with his feelings give a unique result: he literally spoke to the boss of mafia himself twice like he was the manager in a store, but, the case is different when you’re around, he’s saying and actually good joke and suddenly.. it goes away, his mind goes blank. “So what happened after Mirio..?” “Ah.. i had practiced a lot, i don’t know what happened haha my bad!”

You’re going to get tons of his jokes and something more “intense” such as the classic “What’s in your shirt?” to make you look down so he can boop your nose with his finger, you should expect some gentle headpats as well. 

If you’re shy he’s cool about it, he knows what do and adaptates to your pace, you’d start off with hand holding or rather pinky holding, he’d interwine his pinky with yours and show a bright smile. His hugs are the warmest, he doesn’t do it half-assesly, when you hug, YOU HUG, he uses both arms and slightly lifts you up! Height or strength are not a problem he’s actually one cm taller than Iida i just found out

He seems like the kind who loses their pen or eraser despite seeing it on their desk just one minute ago, if you happen to be that kind as well you’re both going to lay down your faith on poor Tamaki’s hands, i’m sure he has all his material complete.

He hardly ever gets nervous or scared by anything, things like the first kiss would go pretty smooth, instead of blushing intensely he’d just chuckle with slight disbelief, his mind is racing like “I just did that? woah!”. The biggest trouble for him would be gifts, he wants it to be perfect but asking Nejire for advice is not a good idea, roses are too formal and they don’t last long, going to the movies seems a little cliche.. his first gift would end up being a plushie of your favorite animal and a bamboo.

He’d sneak a kiss or two, specially before the class is begginning a training session, he’d send you a text telling you to go outside the changing rooms and oop! He phases through the wall poking out his head to give you a kiss kiss. If you don’t mind a prank from time to time he’d give a little scare using his quirk.

This guy is the big spoon during cuddles, no arguing! He could switch but as time goes by he’d slowly shift into the big spoon, that’s just the way he is, the most usual position would be where you’re facing each other with your limbs wrapping around the other’s body. Waking up with him would be adorable and attractive, morning and night are the only times of the day when his hair isn’t gelled into his All Might-like hairstyle, those blonde locks would frame his face, a heavenly sight.

Would send you a pic of stray animals he rescued with a “:D!” and Sir. Nighteye 'torturing' Bubble girl (half of his head visibly on a corner of the image). If you longed for a pet badly he would bring a nice dog/cat he finds around! In his hero suit to make the moment more special. 

He uses the smiling emojis and emoticons! And shares videos of animals he finds adorable, if you sent him fails videos he'd laugh as long as the falls don't seem extreme or too severe, small trips on the beach or slips on the snow are fine. Mirio sends gifs i just know.

A I Z A W A

Have you taken a look at him? You must be a big The Walking Dead fan to like him lmao. Aizawa gives me an unexplainable gut feeling that he'd prefer a civilian (perhaps quirkless?) significant other over a hero, he wouldn't want his partner to go into the same dangerous situations he does.

His affection is tired, let me explain, he'd hug you and all that physical stuff but it'd kinda feel like his arms fall limply around you, still, even with his minuscule clingyness he loves you with all his might! He doesn't fall for anyone.

Not very fond of PDA, in public he'd preferr temple/forehead kisses and having your hand on the crook of his arm instead of hand holding (thinking about it Iida would do that too), seems more discret and! you don't let go when his hands are busy. He'd initiates it by gently resting your hand on his arm and sinking his hand into his pocket.

Surprise! He does smile, not that maniactic-looking grin he has sometimes during his shifts at U.A when a student impresses him, this one is less wide but somehow more tender and sweet, he tilts his head and for once his eyes seem relaxed, a relationship would make his cheeks hurt.. either for he's not used to smile so much or he smiles more than he thought he would.

If you give him a cat.. that's a strong blow straight to one of his weakest spots, he'd stare both at you and the kitten with a dumbfounded look before picking it up in his arm like a baby, his hand gravitates towards his it's head giving some nice pets before he shows a rare and somewhat bright smile "Thank you very much." Next time have a camera ready damnit! That smile rarely shows up.

He's practical, he wants his gifts to be nice but useful as well. He’d get you those mugs with candies inside, you get the candy and you can use the mug later for your coffee or tea; a power bank with a nice color or design and in case he choses something smaller: a bamboo, those one don’t wither away. Aizawa is fine with whatever you get for him, big or small he appreciates it. Sweaters, scarfs and blankets would be his favorite thing to get though, he likes to stay warm while working late at night

He’s sneaky, as an underground hero he’s used to work at times when the streets look disolated and the dark crime has more freedom to do as it pleases, he wouldn’t want to wake you up unless you asked him to. He’d leave a note on is pillow with the time he wrote it at and a short loving phrase like “i love you, i’ll be back soon, good morning”, before he leaves he’d always lift the sheet up to your neck or drag it away if you seem to be kicking it off you and give you a small kiss.

You’d find him passed out in his sleeping bag with his laptop besides him at random spots of his appartment, if it wasn’t because of the unatura position he adopts to fit in his sleeping bag he’d give you a death scare ‘cause let’s be honest he doesn’t look one hundred percent alive even when he’s awake. “Shota..? Shota can you hear me?!” “I’m not dead.”

Hibrid of big-small spoon. Most of the times you cuddle he’s asleep and you go snuggle him, his hair is a mess so better prepare to get tickled all night. He pull you close the best way he can when you’re behind him, not very comfortable for his arm but it’s worth it. He’d have you like a pillow over him, his chin over your head and both arms around you.

This man doesn’t bother typing when he can use his voice, the only situations he uses regular text messages are when he’s on shift or with you sleeping next to him. Send him gifs of kittens and a ‘i love you’ it instanstly gives him a good mood! He’d send pics of cats he sees around and gifts he bought you, doesn’t use emojis.

*COLLAPSES ON THE GROUND* Big oof- requests are open.

[prettyyou21]

Day one: Mistletoe 

(Zenitsu’s POV)

    “Are you sure this will work, Nezuko?” It came out as a plea, my way of asking for comfort or reassurance. She let out a soft laugh, I had to hold her hips so she wouldn’t fall off the ladder as she did. Nezuko steadied herself and finally hooked the last piece of green onto the hook that had just been screwed into the ceiling. 

    “I know it will.” She replied, voice calm as iI helped her down. We looked around the room, admiring our work. Gramp’s living room was covered in all shades of red and green. We had laid out covers and streamers and snacks all over the place, a few mistletoe’s hanging up with it. I could feel my face heat up just thinking about how risky this was. Nezuko snapped me out of it with a happy sounding hum, turning on her heel to go and get some more snacks, they would be here soon and Inosuke would be inhaling most of the food so we need to have a good amount out. 

    See, I’ve never thrown a christmas party. Probably in part because I don’t really celebrate Christmas, I don’t really believe in Jesus, or that version. There is probably a god but he’s fucked me over so much I can’t say that I have much faith in him. But that’s not the point. The main reason for the whole “I haven’t thrown a christmas party before.” Could also be due to the fact that I don’t throw parties often, period. I don’t like people that much, they scare me. When it gets too loud I shut down and people are really mean to me so it probably wouldn’t end well. I don’t throw parties but Nezuko suggested throwing a small party that would just be close friends, so Muntra, Tanjiro, Inosuke, Nezuko, Kano , Aoi and Genya. I figured, since I’ve hung out with all of them at the same time before, there wouldn’t be any harm in doing it as a party. 

    So, the reason I wanted to do the party? No, it wasn’t just me wanting to be a good friend (As bad as that sounds) I wanted to get with Tanjiro. I used to like Nezuko, and we did date for a small amount of time back in freshman year. But, that didn’t last long and after a few long conversations I realized I liked Tanjiro and Nezuko looked like him so to avoid facing my internilized homophobia from years of being called gay I went to Nezuko. It didn’t end badly, and now Nezuko is the best wingman I could’ve asked for. We hang out a lot, and apparently Tanjiro thinks we still have a thing going on, we don’t but it is nice to use as a cover. 

    So we made a christmas party and put up mistletoe everywhere, so I have to go under one with Tanjiro at some point. I feel nervous, because I could end up kissing Kano, or Genya, or even Inosuke (Inosuke scares me the most, does he brush his teeth? What if he’s a good kisser then I fall for him too? I won’t be able to do anything!) Nezuko is good at assuring me  and said that-

    “You could always pussy out.” Nezuko said, reading my mind because she’s a goddess like that. I felt myself blush and tense as I looked away. “I  can feel your anxiety from all the way over here.” She scoffed when I didn’t move. “Come’er.” She said, opening her arms, I am not a strong man so I walked closer and let myself nuzzle between Nezuko’s breasts. She seemd unbothered, used to this by now. “You'll be fine.” She coo’s, petting my hair, I whined but didn’t argue against it. 

    I pulled away when there was a knock at the door, Nezuko smiled down at me for a few seconds before hopping off the counter, hand tracing down my arm. I don’t have a crush on Nezuko but I am touch starved. So really, most touches make my knees weak. 

    “Go set up the snacks.” She called as she walked to the door. I jumped into action, almost dropping the bowls three times as I made my way into the living room, setting all the food down on the table. “Hey Tanjiro!” Nezuko exclaimed, I felt myself blush, quickly rushing to the door, I tripped, because of course I did, the god’s hate me and this whole thing was a horrible idea-

    “You need to slow down.” The world felt frozen as I looked up at Tanjiro who had caught me, keeping me from probably dying by slatting on the floor like a bug. He lunged to catch me, strong arms out and holding me up , my chest across his forearms and feet barely holding any of my weight. I felt my face rapidly heat up because holyshitheissostrongandprettyandwow-

    Of course, I can’t have nice things, so it didn’t last very long. And because the world hate’s me, I had to fall anyway as Inosuke decided he would be here for only fod, shoving past me and Tanjiro, causing me to fall on my ass becuase stupid Tanjiro is only amazing when it’s convenint for me. (People call me the living contradiction, fuck off)

    “Inosuke!” I barked, pushing myself up in anger, I heard Tanjiro try to calm us while Nezuko laughed, and I yelled at Inosuke until Genya got there and I had to stop….

    I got so close. So close. I can’t tell you how many times we were both right next to one but not quite under it, and I would freeze up until Tanjiro walked away and after Nezuko would look at me like I was a walking, talking disappointment and I would glare because she shouldn't be trying this hard to get me to hook up with her brother. 

    I didn’t get a kiss for most of the night actually. I had fun, but the point of the party didn’t  make it though. We all ended up falling asleep on eachother while laying on the couch, leaning on each other with our eyes closed as soft snores filled the room. 

    I sleep walk, my friends know this, and a lot of the time they handle it well during sleepovers (which have become increasingly common over the years) But, sometimes I get up and I know I’m up, I know I’m moving around overly aware of it even. Right now was one of those times. I heard a sound, it was normally happy and full of joy and comfort but right now it sounded sad. I had to go after it. 

    “Tanjiro?” I asked through a yawn. I heard him jump as I rounded the corner that led outside, shivering as the cold bit at my skin. I had followed the sound, and was only just getting back into full consciousness. I forgot a jacket though. I found him sitting on the front porch, Gramps had a wrap-around one, and the whole thing was full of chairs and places to sit. I loved it, if I’m being totally honest. I liked sitting outside when it was nice and reading, not having to go sit in the dirt to do it. It was also very good for running from Inosuke. 

    “Zenitsu? Wait- where’s your coat! You’ll get sick!” Tanjiro said immediately, standing up, I could see sadness mixed in along with the worry, I could hear it too, the sounds mixing unpleasantly in my ears. I huffed and grabbed Tanjiros face when he got close, he froze. His cheeks were wet, he’d been crying. I didn’t like that idea at all.

    “Then give me your jacket!” I declared. I wasn’t going back inside, but it was cold and I did come out here for Tajiro. This is how he repays me! Tanjiro paused, looking at me with confusion all over his face before taking off his black and green checkered hoodie and handing it over, I pulled it over my head, it swallowed me . Tanjiro ran around at his parent’s bakery, doing most of the heavy lifting and such. His backpack is also huge so his shoulders are very wide and he’s also a few inches taller than me. I went and sat down on the bench where Tanjiro had been. Tanjiro was in a long sleeved shirt but he still looked cold. “You get cold easily.” I noted. 

    I don’t get cold easily. I spent a lot of my days as a child outside or in house’s without heating, I grew up cold and I guess I got used to it. I’m not sure how it works but I bet being covered in scars also contributes to the amount of cold that I can be, since the skin cells get very badly damaged. 

    “I don’t.” Tanjiro mumbled, I think he was pouting but I didn’t want to assume anything… But he was probably pouting. A few more moments of total silence went on before Tanjiro spoke, seemingly trying to break the silence. “So, uh, who were you trying to get to kiss you tonight?” Tanjiro asked, I noticed the hurt and jealousy in his sound. I looked down, he probably thinks it was Nezuko or Kano, he’s probably jealous I would go after either so obviously. 

    “Uh, none?” I replied, it came out as a question. Tanjiro knew I was lying, and I could hear the disappointment in his sound at the lie. It made tears well in my eyes as I looked down. Wasn’t I supposed to be comforting him? 

    “Who was it? I wouldn’t judge, I know about you and Nezuko so…” Tanjiro shrugged as he trailed off. I could already hear Nezuko yelling at me about pussying out, and then I’d have to wait longer. I thought for a moment, face flushing as I looked away.I stood up silently. “Zenitsu?” Tanjiro asked, I held a hand up before going inside, Tanjiro called after me but in order not to wake our friends he kept it quiet and didn’t follow me inside.

 I grabbed one of the lower mistletoe’s before going back outside. I walked over, hiding it in my hand. Tanjiro smelt it though (Yes, I got the real ones. Tanjiro and Nezuko like the smell) I sat next to Tanjiro on the bench, I could hear my heart in my ears and I felt like I could hear it slamming against my ribs as all the blood in my body went to my face. I raised my shaky hand up above Tanjiros head, leaning closer so it was over mine too. 

    “I was too scared to tell you, me and Nezuko aren’t dating bu-but she helped me plan this..” I explained. Tanjiro’s face was heating up. “I was supposed to do it during the party but I uh, as Nezuko put it uh, pussied out…” I explained. Tanjiro gulped. “So uh, I get if you don’t like me uh, back but I-kinda wanted to kiss you? Just-just this, uh, once.” I stammered out, by now my whole arm was shaking, well most my body actually. Tanjiro paused and then, he smiled. One of his hands went up and grabbed my wrist, lowering the mistletoe, for a second I thought his sweet sound would sour. Those kind eyes would slant and glare at me as he called me filthy before slapping me and running off like everyone else. But he didn’t, Tanjiro’s eyes shone in the moonlight, gentle and peaceful and all the things I was not. Then he leaned in, calloused hand wrapping around the smooth skin of my own before our lips met,

    I didnt’ move, scared this was a dream and the second I did his lip’s would vanish into thin air. And then Tanjiro tried to pull back and it was my turn to act as I realized ‘Not a dream’ I pulled him back in, using my free hand to pull Tanjiro back in by cupping the back of his neck, I pressed my lips to his and closed my eyes this tie, soaking in the feel and the bliss that were his soft lips on my own chapped ones. It felt amazing they were warm and soft and when I flicked my tongue over his lips they tasted amazing. I wanted more, craved it, the need carving a place for itself deep in my gut. 

    And because I don’t get nice thing’s oxygen ruined it. 

    I pulled away taking desperate gasps for air, Tanjiro doing the same.”I-Zen?” Tanjiro asked, seeming to be shocked as slumped forward so my head was on his chest, tears falling out of my eyes. I just kissed my crush! A boy! My first boy kiss! First Tanjiro kiss!? I felt like I was breaking. So all I did was let out a garbled string of words. Tanjiro seemed to understand though and chuckled warmly, more tears poured out cuss that sounded so nice, could I hear that all the time-

    “Let’s get inside before you freeze.” Tanjiro said, standing and picking me up so my legs were wrapped around Tanjiros hips.l squeaked in reply because it’s not everyday that your crush picks you up like you weigh nothing. Tanjiro carried me inside and helped me get the jacket off because he ‘Didn’t want me overheating’ I replied that he was a perv and probably hoped my shirt would slip off with it. Tanjiro took no offense (Which I took offense to) and carried me back into the living room, carrying me to a spot where just the two of us could sleep. We laid down and pulled up a cover. 

    Of all the places I’ve slept…. This probably wasn’t the best. I love Tanjiro but muscled chests and hard floor’s aren’t as nice as a set of boobs on a warm bed. But I loved it anyway, because it was Tanjiro and I knew I could be happy with that. So, I pressed my face into the crook of Tanjiros neck and nuzzled close before allowing sleep to overtake me, saving how stiff I would be in the morning for future Zenitsu.

[mendesbadrepuation]

Bachata // Sebastian Stan

Once again TikTok has inspired me and inspired this little one shot/imagine/pov. Whatever you prefer to call it. I decided to post this one because I simply knew it would sit around in my drafts collecting vast amounts of mold and dust. I had lots and lots of fun with writing this. I did a little research on this dance and even found a song. Hope everyone enjoys :)

Bachata is a form of dancing. Very sexy and very intimate at times. 

Background: Y/n is a famous actress learning a new dance for a scene in her movie. Her co-star Sebastian Stan is her partner learning just as much as she is. They might even learn something else along the way. Feelings perhaps?

tw- not any that I can think of. loads of fluff and vast amounts of fun!

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“Alright you two! Get warmed up and comfortable.” Our dance instructor informs us as the music begins blasting through the studio. I make sure my heels are strapped in and I look up at Sebastian. Today he had on black basketball shorts with a graphic white tee. There was this obvious scruff across his chin and jawline. It really brought out all his features.

He was walking towards me in a funny way. His arms and legs were throwing out into this strange dance move. When your characters are professional dancers and your person playing them are not. This is what happens. I start to lightly laugh and walk towards him to the beat of the music. Our instructor has us do this everyday before we rehearse our big dance scene. It helps us get comfortable with one another and shake whatever maybe in our minds from that day away. It was a good coaching technique if you ask me. 

We join our hands together at the drop of the beat. We don’t follow our steps and just dance how we like. It was fun and that’s what made this entire experience a little better. I focus on making light steps with my heels so it looks more elegant as the instructor would say. She’s also the entire choreographer for this movie so she knew a thing or two. Part of me was also focusing on not falling on my face every step I took. I was never use to wearing heels in general. Now I was being pushed to dance in them. This instructor has pushed me in ways I never knew before. 

“This a new top?” Sebastian asks as he pulls me into his chest. They press together and I sway my hips to the beat. One of his hands goes to my waist guiding them towards his thigh.

“Yeah. You like it?” I look up into his eyes as our faces were inches apart. He grins at me when our eyes lock. All I had on was a simple cropped spaghetti strap tank. It was this mint green kind of color. A new color for me.

“Cute.” He replies making my face red. Sebastian made it his goal to make me blush everyday. I don’t know how it became this game for him but it did. Sometimes he didn’t even have to try. He’d simply look at me a certain way and my face was red as a tomato. 

However, being in these close situations it helped for him to lighten the mood. He done that very often. Especially when I would get frustrated with a certain move I had trouble getting down. We really bonded through this film and all that has came with it. I was excited to learn this new dance and tell all my friends I can. Of course they would get to see it on screen when the film comes out. 

“Okay! Get into your first positions and let’s start at the beginning and work our way into where we left off yesterday.” The instructor commands us. We step away from each other and go to our designated positions. We stand on each side of the studio across from each other. I lean my back against the mirror in the way the instructor told me to. Sebastian had one leg propped against the wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest. 

Our characters were designated to be in the beautiful city of Italy. Seb and I were excited to film there when the time came. Which was coming soon. Our special dance scene was coming together and before we knew it we’d be ready to fully put it together. We had two more parts to get down. The finale was suppose to make people cry apparently. That is if we do our jobs right. Which I had faith in Sebastian and I. We’ve worked so hard for this film. 

The song begins to play. *Promise Romeo Santos (ft. Usher)* 

I push off the wall and seductively walk towards Sebastian. Our eye contact was locked in with each other. I walk a circle around him as he stands in place. My finger drags across his back very slowly. His neck was turned toward his shoulder so he could try to catch a glimpse of me. When I reach around his front our eyes lock again. My body gets closer until he places his hands on my hips pulling me right into his body. I rest my hands on his shoulders for a moment letting him guide my hips to the music. 

Our faces were inches apart as we stared into each other’s souls. It felt as if our hearts were dancing together when we did dance. That’s how romantic and sexy this dance really was. I glide my hands up to his neck to cup it gently. It makes our connection stronger in the moment. He starts to take his steps backing me up. I flow backwards with him helping me guide the way. If we didn’t trust each other then this dance would not work. 

My right arm extends out as Sebastian used one arm to lift me up. My legs remained straight and I held my grip firmly on his shoulders to keep my form. His head was angled right into my lower chest. He keeps his focus on me as I turn my head to the side closing my eyes. I felt the breeze from him spinning me around. I tuck my knees in and bring my hand back down to his shoulders. He lifts me up and over his leg where I rest behind his thigh for a second. 

He pulls me back over and I place my feet back down to the ground. His hands let go of my waist as I step away from him. Sebastian does his individual steps as I walk around him making sure all the attention was towards him. When he bows I began my individual steps. My last step brought me back into his arms. His large hands made their way to my hips once more. He brings me towards him as I straddled his thigh. With the beat of the music I grind my hips into his thigh. We never lost eye contact in this moment. My heart was racing at the intimacy this part held. 

“One two three.” Sebastian whispers the count directly next to my ear giving me the cue to step back just enough for him to grab my hand as I extend myself out. He lets me spin out only to bring me back in. Once more I straddled his thigh and grind into his thigh. This time my hips come up a little higher and Sebastian meets me. Our bodies collide perfectly together. It was as if we were made for each other. 

Without any hesitation Sebastian spins me around by my hips so now my back is pressed against his chest. His right hand trails up my side towards my stomach and directly through the valley of breasts. My heart flutters when I felt his hand around my neck pushing me into him more. On beat we practically snap our necks to look each other in the eyes again. His hand around my neck now goes up to my face where he softly rubs his thumb across my cheek bone. My hips sway against him slowly as the music begins to fade from the instructor controlling it. 

“That was awesome you two! Absolutely beautiful! Let’s finish this last part and you guys will be ready to put it all together for the final scene.” She announces as she goes over in front of us. She explains the new steps thoroughly making sure we understood first. Then she takes each of us and guides us how to do what and where to look. 

The final part added a sexy flair with so much passionate romance. It felt like I was watching a movie myself when she used Sebastian to show me my steps. Sebastian listened as intently as he could. I catch him staring at me at one point and all I could do was smile at him. We were sweaty and tired from the hours of practice. I could see it on both of our faces. We never had the thought of giving up though. 

Once we learned the steps it was time for rehearsing it. The finale of this scene really tied the entire dance together. At the very end Sebastian and I were set to have our big kiss. The choreographer did not want us to kiss yet so the passion will let itself develop in the final dance. You could guess I was pretty excited about kissing my scene partner.

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The magic was in the air here in Italy. It was time for our big dance scene to come alive tonight. The directors and producers chose a nice little alley way between these bright pink buildings. Around us was all the Italy architecture you could imagine. This city truly was gorgeous in every aspect. 

“Are you ready?” My stylist asks me as she is finishing up the touches on my hair and makeup. The costume director chose for me to be in a silk black two piece dress. The top piece had an A-line design with spaghetti straps. The skirt part was completely silk with two slits on either side. That way it would show off my legs for the dance. Just to add a little spice he chose red satin heels with an ankle strap. The heels I had been practicing in to be exact. 

“Nervous. But ready.” I reply to her. I look at her  through the mirror and see a soft smile on both of our faces. 

“You’ve got this. No reason for you to be nervous.” She encourages. “Besides. This is your big moment to kiss Sebastian.” She smirks at me making my cheeks red. 

“Y/n It’s time!” The director calls from the other side of the tent. My stylist fluffs my hair one more time and sends me on my way. I walk outside of the changing tent and step into the bright sunny day of Italy. The crew all looked towards me which made me blush wildly. Big smiles land on their faces and it boosts my confidence. 

“Go ahead and get in your place Y/n. Sebastian is on his way!” The choreographer commands me and I nod my head making my way over to the marker. I lean against the wall and focus on my breathing. This is what we had been working for. 

To keep the suspense Sebastian and I were positioned to look in opposite directions. I had no idea what he was wearing and he had no idea what I would be wearing. The thought of how handsome he could look was circling in my brain. My stomach was beginning to be filled with nervousness as we wait for the action to be called. I focus on an object off in the distance. 

“Ready. ACTION!” The director calls. The music begins to play and I take in a deep breath. 

My head slowly turns towards Sebastian standing opposite of me. Our eyes meet at the same time and I watch him take in a breath. He was beyond the words of handsome. They chose to put him in a white linen button down with the buttons open midway to his chest. The shirt hugged his shoulders perfectly making him look so muscular. And he was. He had on these nice gray pants that were loose enough for dancing but looked as if they fit like dress pants. My God is hair was styled perfectly back. Just enough gel to give it a little raise and the rest was just this fluffy bounce. My heart rose to my throat and it took me a moment to snap back. 

Luckily I had practiced the routine so much that my feet took control at the start of the music. I elegantly walk to Sebastian as he walks to me. We didn’t remove our eyes from each other just like before. My heart was pounding when I was just close enough to see the shining blue in his eyes. The moment his hands come in contact with my hips a spark was sent through my body. His fingertips just barely graze my exposed skin on my waist. It makes my head spin from the minimal touch. 

We continue through the routine just like we practiced. The passion and romance was every bit there. I felt it in my chest the way he would guide me, touch me, and hold me. When he spins me around and pressed my back up against his chest I felt my knees becoming weak. Just the fragile way he pressed his fingertips into my skin to pull me closer to him was enough to make me fall apart. I was trying to remain professional but it was hard with those blue orbs seeping into me. 

Just as we approach the final part I felt butterflies erupting like a volcano in my stomach. Sebastian pulls me in as close as he can. One hand holds my waist while the other held my back. I felt him start to lean me down for the special dip. The music comes to a slow as he brings me back upright. My hand cups his cheek and our breathing was heavy. Our chests rise and fall hard against one another. 

Our faces inch closer and closer. Instinctively our eyes shut just as our lips collide for the first time. My heart pounds hard against my chest that I could hear it in my ears. Sebastian deepens the kiss making me so light headed. I felt as if I was floating. He grazes his tongue across my bottom lip allowing him further access. His tongue was gentle and not too forceful. I’ve had many stage kisses but never has one made me feel this way before. 

We pull back for air and stare into each other’s eyes. The director calls cut but Sebastian doesn’t loosen his grip or move an inch. I stay put still looking into his eyes. 

“That was awesome you two! I’m so proud!” The choreographer announces and I take a step back letting my grip fall. My hands rest at my sides as I couldn’t contain the blush from appearing on my face. 

Sebastian had this grin on his face as he continues to look at me. His eyes look from my head to my toe once more. “You are absolutely gorgeous.” He compliments. If it was possible my face got 10x more red. 

“Thank you Sebastian.” I barely muster up the words to reply. “You look very handsome.” This time he looks to his right and a subtle blush appears on his face. 

“Thank you.” He scratches the back of his head to ease his nerves. There was an obvious connection between the two of us. However, something was holding us back from just admitting it. We wanted each other but we wanted to remain professionals. 

After filming was over with for the movie I was sad to leave. Who wouldn’t be? I have grown such a connection with all of these people. Shortly after filming Sebastian reached out to me. It was just a simple text message. Should it have gave me the amount of butterflies it did? 

Would I ever be able to dance with you like that again? 

I couldn’t help but smile down at my phone. “What are you smiling at over there?” My best friend asks me. I shake my head trying to contain myself. 

“Nothing to worry about.” I reply shortly and think of a message back. 

If you’re lucky ;) 

I tried to be flirty but also not give away the fact that I was crushing hard on a fellow co-star. Somehow I just knew Sebastian was going to become a big part of my life. He reads the message and I see the bubble pop up. Just as fast as it pops up it disappears. I let a soft sigh out. 

“Hey look Y/n! Isn’t that Sebastian?” Another one of my friends ask. We were all having a nice time catching up at my place. I had been gone for months so they didn’t have to do much begging when it came to hanging out. 

The tv was playing the in background. I scramble around finding the remote turning the volume up. There he was on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Falon. My heart starts to rapidly beat in my chest at the looks of him. A black suit jacket with a floral button down underneath. His hair styled back with some gel. Once again he was just as handsome as the day I first met him. 

“So Sebastian! You’ve got a new movie coming out with none other Y/n y/l/n. You know she’s one of my favorites on this show. How was it working with her?” My breath caught in my throat as my friends slightly squeal with the mention of my name. 

“Oh wow. It was the best. She’s an absolute sweetheart! I can’t count the times she made my heart skip a beat.” He playfully clutches his chest. I thought I was going to faint. The crowd on the show erupts into cheers from the comment. 

“Woah woah woah! Seems to me like there is some chemistry behind the scenes.” Jimmy replies egging him on. He looks down into his lap with a soft smile. 

“There was definitely some moments throughout filming that had...” he pauses to think about his words. “Sparks flying I guess you could say.” Jimmy leans back in his chair in shock as the crowd gets louder. 

“The producer so graciously let me have this little clip of a special scene that you all shared. Let’s watch shall we?” He gestures to another screen and the clip begins rolling. It was a small trailer that I actually hadn’t seen yet. Flashes of my face throughout filming appear. Scenes that we developed. 

I see the clip of the beginning of the dance scene. The very moment we looked at each other it only showed Sebastian’s reaction. It zooms on his face and in his eyes I swear I saw a twinkle. Nice editing if you ask me. My heart jumps to my throat as the clip fades out. Sebastian is leaning back in his chair with an obvious blush on his cheeks. 

“Let’s talk about that look man.” Jimmy says. Sebastian starts shaking his head. He had a big smile on his face. It’s like he was lost in his thoughts. 

“That reaction was completely real. Our choreographer had us look away until the director called action. So for lack of better words. She took my breath away.” Jimmy covers his mouth in shock and the crowd was even more crazy. My jaw drops to the floor at his words. 

“Wow. Seems like you two are starting a new romance Sebastian!” Jimmy says and I’m about to pass out from this entire interview. 

“Yeah. If I’m lucky.” He smoothly winks at Jimmy. I knew what that meant. I just sent those words to him. My entire body was on an adrenaline rush. 

“What does that mean!?” My friend asks in a high pitch. She was trying to contain her excitement but it was no use. 

I look over at her with the biggest smirk on my face. My friends jump up from their seats circling around me in pure excitement. Thousands of questions were being shout out in my direction. 

“Guys!” I laugh trying to get them to calm down. “When I say I’ve never had a stage kiss like his before. I mean it.” They shout in even more excitement. 

“Well you’ve heard it hear live. Go check out this romantic new movie when it hits a theatre near you!” Jimmy closes the interview. Sebastian stands up waving to the crowd. The show goes to commercial and I’m still standing there speechless at his words. Was this really happening? 

I bring my phone up. Without any hesitation I click on his messages again. Out of nerves I bite the inside of my cheek contemplating my next move. 

“Whatever you’re about to say to him. Say it!” My friend encourages. I glance up at them and back to my phone. 

Will you take my breath away if we dance again? 

My cheesy reply still makes my heart pound in my chest. I wait a little over a minute and my phone buzzes against my hand. 

If you’ll give me the chance I will hopefully do more than that. 

I bite my lip to try and suppress the emotions circulating through my body. 

Time and place? 

My fingers come up to my lips as I nervously bite at one of my nails. 

7 tomorrow night at my place. I’ll pick you up. 

My eyes grow wide in surprise. This was really happening. I was planning a date with Sebastian Stan. 

I’ll bring an inhaler just in case :) 

I couldn’t ignore the wave of nausea building up in my stomach. 

Good idea. I’ll bring a crash cart. Just in case your gorgeous self sends me into cardiac arrest. 

My eyes roll at the flirtatious comeback. I leave the message open and explain to my friends we had to find an outfit quickly. 

I was going on a date with Sebastian Stan. 

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like, comment, or reblog for a part two? Thank you for reading guys!!!! :))