#the amount of below average dudes teenage me had a thing for because they were good in basketball and that made them hotter for me is

[lover-of-mine]

I know no one gives a fuck about Oliver's actual ability to play basketball but the way he handles the ball, it's not the way someone playing it for fun or who tried to learn for a part plays, he actually knows how to play and I saw about 10 pictures and a video and I feel like I'm gonna die and when the episode drops I might have a stroke.

[flowing-paint]

Time travel

It’s Sunday again and this means a new post on the blog. I actually lost two weeks worth of posts because of my trip back to Italy but I don’t really care: that was an awesome trip and gave me so many inputs and ideas! It was like traveling back in time to high school. Tabletop wargaming speaking, of course! In this post, I will briefly go over the experience and post some pictures of my really (really) old Warhammer Fantasy models. Wanna see them?? Click on the link below! Just be aware: a lot of pictures, so you’re in for a sloppy paint job ride!

So, I was back to my parents’ house where all my pre-Japan nerd stuff is carefully watched after by my Mom. She is not actively caring for it, of course. She just put all the junk in some big cardboard boxes and stuck it in the basement. Luckily our basement is a wine cellar so we have perfect humidity and temperature year round and my Magic The Gathering cards are still doing fine. My Warhammer figurines ended up in the same basement so, one of the first things I did was going downstairs and start digging through all the boxes to find them.

If you follow me on Twitter (unlikely, I know... but there’s still a remote possibility) you probably saw the pictures I took of my old models. Well, not all of them; just a small amount of representative ones my wife wanted me to upload on the blog. At the beginning, she just wanted to see how “good” I was back in the days mainly because she thought she may win a free “make fun of your nerd husband” ticket. However, after seeing the miniatures she thought it would be nice to upload them here: my painting at the time sucked so much that we thought it may be worthwhile to show it to those beginners on the internet that are just moving their first steps in the hobby. You know... just as some motivational stuff.

Taking proper pictures was hard: as I didn’t bring my light-box with me the picture quality is really bad... but, hey! not that I am blaming the pictures for my sloppy paint jobs. They are barely tabletop standard in some case (Skinks, I’m talking to you!) and lack proper contrast in most of the others. I will upload them here so that you all can see how one can evolve from hobby-zero to hobby-hero! (ok, this last one came out a little bit too presumptuous),

Dark Elves

During high school, I was a great fan of Tolkien books.... I still have all of them in my bookshelf. I really liked Elves as they were the most “likable” faction in all books so when I first approached Warhammer Fantasy, Elves was my to go choice. Still, high elves with all their white and pointy faces did not appeal to me too much and the Wood Elves looked more like Robin Hood imitations. So I naturally ended up with the Dark Elves with all their human sacrifices, blood drinking, and naked boobies. Impressive how teenagers mind works (or really, doesn’t). I went with the color scheme suggested in the army book and ended up with some cool looking models. I just happened to make two big mistakes:

I did not coat them when I was done with the painting. Actively playing with them and storing in sub-optimal conditions led to a lot of paint chipping and the models are now completely covered in blemishes.

I left them on display in a bright spot. The UV from the light slowly ate through the paint and the more delicate pigments just died (especially the blue and the yellows)

Read these two points well and avoid the same mistakes! I am coating the models now but the very first units I didn’t protect are to be fully repainted. Do you really want to do it? No, you don’t. Well, maybe, if they were really bad you can think about it.

So, let’s actually see some pictures!

These are the two leaders Malekith, the Witch King on his black dragon and Morathi the witch on her black pegasus. They look like they’re black only while the wings and some part of the body were painted with a blue-violet gradation.... that’s totally gone. I also urge you to focus on the bases: yes, that was the “only” style back in the days. Goblin green and flock aplenty! I may actually say I was going fancy as you can see a couple of stones and a log on the lady’s base.

Not sure about the name of the first one but the second one is an assassin. I remember using these two guys a lot: they were good at killing big stuff so I recall using them against my friend’s chaos demons. Not that I was able to win easily because, back in the days, chaos was super-overpowered!

Dark Elves are rich in witches.... like, literally everybody is a witch. Even the supreme commander/king. They use to hang around a boiling cauldron full of blood they used to do sacrifices and magical rituals. I clearly remember the cauldron being one of my favorite models back in the day: the machine itself is still super cool. What I didn’t really like were the witches themselves: they show how bad GW miniatures were then... super ugly. I mean, look at them.... I can’t believe I painted 20 of them...

Last, one of the few ranged units in the army, the Reaper bolt thrower. It was really useful when all other units were basically close combat. I only had a 10 man unit of bolt thrower equipped infantry and I was just flying forward with my big guys and charging with cold ones. Mmmm.. not the best strategy. That’s probably why I didn’t win too much with these guys.

Lizardmen

This is still my favorite army by a long stretch. I won big games with them and I mean that all my friends hated playing against them and kept asking for the Dark Elves... But do you really want to know the best thing of all? I had 90% of the army for free. I’m talking being in the right place at the right time. I was shopping with all my friends in a small shop that was my FLGS at the time and the owner came and asked all of us: anybody into starting Lizardmen? Back in the high school, we didn’t have money and, as you know, GW stuff may be pretty expensive.... so everybody went like “no thanks, I already play xxx”. I was the only one that actually replied differently; something along the lines “No, thanks... I don’t have money. But I wish I had ‘cause they look epic!”. That’s when the store owner replied “Then you’re in luck! I don’ want money for them: here you are. pick this bag and have fun!”. We had just realized the store was going out of business and he was giving away bargains but nobody wanted lizardmen because of the sheer number of dudes required. I just got a bag full of them and my friends kept blabbing about my luck for months. I’m still in love with them, their mesoamerican Aztec-like fluff and their tactics so I am still collecting them even in the new Age of Sigmar. I wish I could rebase them all easily.

Let’s move on to some pics!

Aerial view of a “typical” battle configuration. With 90% less skinks... I mean, I was fielding 100ds of skins. On average. They were able to fire two arrows in a row and were super-cheap. I like old skinks way more than present skinks. They were actually useful back then.

My favorite unit in the whole game. They were three flame throwers.. pretty solid ones! A salamander and 2 handlers got lost somehow...  They kept killing tons of foes while being pretty resistant too. I was really happy to see they didn’t get nerfed in the AoS warscrolls! The color scheme was completely original... the suggested colors were greenish IIRC but as you all know I am not a big fan of “standard” colors.

The general of my army, the Slann is being carried around by 4 Saurus temple guards. This dude was a beast! But he actually looks like he was painted with my toes... unfortunately. I remember I had to paint him fast to field him in a game... but now I regret doing it. I should have taken more time to do it better. He is not even washed! Guys, please treat your generals with some more respect than I did....

Prehistoric flyers... this model actually looks good. It clearly shows what the protective coat does... he was out in the light with the dark elves but the blue is still there and the red is still bright. Game-wise... Terradon suck. I should try the new flyers, the “ripperdactyls”

I also had a lot of characters to field from the crazy cavalry dude on an enraged horned one (Inxi huinzi) to the snake priest (Tehenhauin) and the blow-machinegun (Oxyotl). I think I had even more but I’m not super-sure. Here are the pics I shot.

I think we can consider ourselves done with pictures.... I have some more but basically, this is it! What do you guys think? Did looking at this metric crapton of sloppy minis motivate you? I hope it did ‘cause it motivated me to repaint them! Maybe somewhere in the future... who knows. Or maybe I’ll give them to my son when he will grow up and let him have fun with them. After stripping them of course... luckily they are all metal!

To close this long post, I just anticipate that looking at my old minis I also had some proxy ideas for my AoS armies that I will show you next week! Stay tuned!

... game on!

[words-writ-in-starlight]

humble request: rey or phasma, ur choice, for the headcanon meme

Heck,how about some Rey feelings.  Pleaseobserve that I have literally never given a fuck about the extended universefor more than long enough to Make Things Worse, and I have no idea what Rey’scanonical backstory is in the New EU.

A: what I think realistically

So…this is what I started followingWilde for, way back in the day, but Rey has definitely eaten a dude before,right?  Like, she grew up a feral desertorphan child and has definitely killed a couple people to protect herself andher home and her food supply, and. Well.  Supposing it was a sort ofbeing whose flesh isn’t toxic to humans…that’s a lot of food.  Your average human runs about 40,000calories, if you eat whatever organs are edible (not all, but a goodnumber) and make appropriate use of the bones. That’s literally almost a month offood for a skinny nervous abandoned teenager.  More if you ration it.

Rey feels worse about losing some of themeat because she was learning how to cure it than she does about any other partof the situation.

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

Rey has never had a last name.  Neither has Finn.  Finn comes into the Dqar base unconscious andbleeding out and who the hell else is going to put themselves down as people tocontact in case he needs something (incase he dies, they do not think) except Rey, who Finn came back for, andPoe, who came back for Finn.  So throughsome confusion with medical staff Finn is officially down as Finn Dameronbecause…well, Poe’s not going to tell them they can’t, okay?  Poe has a big extendedfamily back on Yavin IV, they won’t mind one more, and honestly just Finn is starting to look a littlelonely, flapping out in the breeze without any other names on it.  The guy can pick a last name when he wakesup, but for the moment, Finn Dameron it is.

Rey is informed, after she’s had fourribs and a mild concussion repaired, that they’ll need her last name so thatthey can record the concussion and make sure future doctors know about it.  This takes a remarkable amount of explainingabout the point of medical records,followed by a lengthy but competently recalled list of every notable injury Reyhas ever sustained.

“Thank you, Rey,” the medic says dryly,noting down the last of them.  “And alast name?  You can just pick one to fillin, for now, and change it later if you need to.”

“Dameron,” Rey says offhandedly, becauselast names are about family and family are the people who come back for you andhonestly that’s about the extent of Rey’s understanding on the matter.

By the time Rey’s back from hunting downLuke from some backwater corner of the galaxy, the entire Resistance knows thatPoe Dameron gave Finn his jacket and Rey his droid (temporarily, he did get itback, but no one seems willing to listen) and the both of them his last name.  As far as Rey is concerned, corralling Finnand waiting for Poe in his quarters is nothing short of the obvious solution toeveryone’s problems.

Rey is a feral desert child whoseknowledge of bureaucratic nonsense is limited at best and nonfunctional atworst.  She mis-files a couple of thingsa week, and usually it’s caught by the actual administrative staff, but howwere they supposed to know that she didn’t understand that she’d accidentallyfiled all her documents with two spouses. She does live with Finn andPoe, she protests when it comes up, and they are her family, and they aren’trelated, she just eliminated options until there was only one left!

To Finn, who grew up in a world wheremarriage barely existed as a concept and certainly wasn’t something he wasfamiliar with, this seems perfectly legitimate.

To Poe, who is literally the last person on base to find out whenLeia very dryly hands him an anniversary present and says “I hear you gotmarried this time last year,” this prompts a lot more questions.

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

Do you ever think about Rey as a littlegirl, trying not to cry because it wasteswater and she has so little water left, and sitting out under the stars asshe wonders why she wasn’t good enough? Why she wasn’t good enough for her parents to stay?  Why she wasn’t good enough for them to takeher with them?  

Why she wasn’t good enough for them tolove?

Because if you ever think about that,let me raise you one up.  Do you everthink about Rey as a young woman, holding an ancient weapon in both hands andtrying to drive back a ragged blade of scarlet light, trying not to fall intothe crevasse opening below her feet, trying not to die here, at the hands of this wild-eyed creature behind thatterrible mask, this monster who killed the only person who had really, trulyoffered her a place in the world (do youwant a job)—and do you ever think about how, in total desperation, shereaches out to the Force and begs I amnot good enough for this, please save me anyway.

And the Force comes to her call with theforce of a sun being born and answers oh,wild girl, newest heart, thing-with-teeth-and-starlight-eyes, you are just as goodas you choose to be.

And Rey opens her eyes and throws themonster away from her and, prowling forward with her teeth bared and starlight in her eyes, makes a choice.

D:  what would never work with canon but the canon isshit so I believe it anyway

Right, so, we all pretty much know thatRey is probably going to be Luke’s daughter because ultimately Star Wars is thestory of the Skywalker family more than anything else.  But honestly I think if I had total creative control here I would gowith that one suggestion that has drifted past once or twice about Rey beingthe Force’s second attempt at balance, another Force-child meant to repair thedamage wreaked in the wake of the last. Her mother was not a Skywalker.  Hermother was no one of note.  Her motherwas not equipped for a child like Rey.  Reywas born and the Force shook, and Reycried and the Force soothed her, and Rey laughed and the sun’s light was lessbrutal.  Her mother ran when Rey wasseven.

Rey had no control over it, of course.  But alone, scaling the gutted hulk of fallen destroyersand battlestars, Rey always seemed to find the last valuable items, waiting tobe ripped from the walls and control panels, and she never stumbled, never fellinto the depths below her, never quitegot severely injured.  Once, she found aship wrecked on the sand and followed a tug that anchored somewhere under herbreastbone, and found a door that had jammed shut in the crash.  No one had ever tried to open it.

When she pried the door free, Rey rippedout the hyperbaric chamber beyond and managed to rig up a sledge behind herspeeder, and took a dead relic of a dead man who had once been the Force’s ownchild, unknown father-twin-cousin-selfto Rey, to be traded for food.  It hadearned her an entire month’s portions, and the quick-rise bread and the proteinbars tasted strange on her tongue.  Likecannibalism, almost.  Eating one’s ownkind to survive.  

The first time Rey uses the Force—intentionally,with anger and willfulness and desperation behind it—Luke and Leia almost havea mutual heart attack.  The sunburst of presence,the supernova, is familiar but unspeakably foreign, a gravitational pull like asupermassive star that draws the world behind it and how dare anyone question.

The first thing that flickers throughLuke’s mind is an impossible Father?  On Dqar Leia feels a fierce lurch of Ben, you fool, don’t you dare—

When Rey fights with her saberstaff,white light a deadly halo around her hands, she could almost be another Jedi,at the height of his power and honor and glory long ago.  But Rey has never allowed anyone to dictateto her, and perhaps this is why the Force left her alone, to raise herself andlearn her own limits.  Rey is a killer,certainly.  Rey will do what has to bedone for the survival of herself and her people, now that she has people.  But no one has ever told Rey to feel nothing,to abandon her heart, and Rey’s heart holds the whole of the Force in itsfolds, her blood pumping starstuff and power.

When she stands again the First Order,against the Knights of Ren and their captain, against generals and armies andmachines, against Snoke, the last of the Sith Lords, the outcome isforegone.

[lordzuuko]

Hey, I was wobdering. What if Lance went through the "teenage rebellion" phase and either got arrested or drunk - like drunk enough to go to the hospital. I was wondering how the family would react?

[The Voltron Family] So Lance was going though his teenage rebellion phase. His grades were slipping because he’d been cutting classes and going to parties. He’d say there was a study group happening in whoever’s house but honestly it was just them drinking.

He knew drinking alcohol was prohibited at home, his Daddy Shiro made sure of that. No smoking, no drinking, no taking of illegal drugs blah blah blah. He was so sick of his family trying to be the “perfect” family. He hated it. There was Hunk who was the eldest, an overachiever. Football scholarship. Top of his class. Pidge was on the same page. Super duper overachiever but still at the same time juggling her soccer gig. 

Lance… Lance was average. Probably even below average. He didn’t excel in anything, he excelled in cutting classes. He pretended everything was fine. He even ditched baseball practice. He’d be surprised if he was even still in the team at this point. He just didn’t feel the need to put effort anymore. No matter what happened, his parents would still be there to provide for him. He knew that even though Shiro and Keith never told him or them. 

Lance was snooping one time in the master bedroom looking for something when he spotted not only one bank books but 8 bank books. Three of those were named after him, Pidge and Hunk. He opened to the latest page and was shocked to see the amount he had in his account. He figured it was for their college years but he was damn sure it wasn’t just for that. All three of them almost had the same amount. Then he saw that his Daddy Keith and Daddy Shiro had individual ones from diff banks and a joint one–which contained the biggest amount. He immediately closed it, feeling nervous. 

They weren’t spoiled kids, they weren’t raised that way. But god dammit can’t his Dads at least raise his allowance if they had this much? His Daddy Shiro didn’t even allow him to go to a concert of the band he loves a few weeks ago! Said it was his 5th concert of the year! Said it was too much! And that was why he was in this whoever’s party at 12 midnight drinking his 5th or 6th bottle. Sulking because he could’ve been there right now singing his heart out.

Friend: Dude. Your phone’s ringing nonstop for 10 minutes now. Lance: *blinks* *checks the phone* Ugh. Friend: *looks over* Dude. It’s your Daddy Keith. Pick that up. He’s scary.Lance: He’s not really that scary. *rolls eyes* *drinks more*Friend: I’ve been to your house. I know how scary your daddy can get. I don’t want to be the receiving end of that fist.Lance: *chuckles* *taps his friend’s face affectionately* He does throw a mean punch. I’ll have you know him and Daddy Shiro spar every night. Friend: *eyes widens* Are you kidding me? *taps him relentlessly* DUDE. ANSWER YOUR PHONE.Lance: *shuts off his phone* There! You happy?Friend: *shakes his head disapprovingly* He’s going to kill you.

Suddenly the house went to chaos after that. Police sirens were heard. Lance got to his feet as quick as he could but not quick enough–damn he need to get back to baseball, he was losing his skills. Next thing he knew, he was behind bars with his drunk friends who had illegal drugs in their possession. 

Police: Lance Shirogane. You’re good to go.Lance: *looks up from where he’s sitting* *nervous* W-Who bailed me out? Police: *smirks* Someone who looks really really pissed.Friend: Dude. I told you. Your Daddy Keith’s going to kill you.Lance: L-let’s hope he’s in a happy mood to see me.

Lance slowly made his way to the lobby and looked for his dad, only to find his Daddy Shiro looking at him with his arms crossed.

Lance: *slowly looks up nervous* H-Hi.Shiro: *glares at his son* Negative?Lance: *gasp* I would never!!Shiro: Answer my question.Lance: *bows down his head* Yeah. Negative.

The walk to the car was silent. He was about to open the passenger’s seat…

Shiro: Your Daddy Keith’s in there. *enters the driver’s door*Lance: *whispers* Oh shit. *gulps* *makes his way at the back* *sees Keith’s back of the head in front* *closes the door*Keith: *about to say something*Lance: *cuts him off* *shuts his eyes* I’m sorry! I’m really REALLY sorry.Keith: *doesnt answer for 10 minutes during the whole ride* Lance.Lance: Yes, sir? *clicks his tongue* *blames his stupidity* Keith: Why are you doing this?Lance: *feels so guilty* *can’t even see his dad’s face so he doesnt know what is keith’s expression* I’m… I’m just… *plays with his fingers*Keith: Are we raising you the wrong way? Lance: No! It’s not that! It’s—Keith: Let me rephrase that. Do you want to have different parents?Shiro: Keith…Keith: No, Shiro. I know this isn’t going to be his last.Lance: I just… I just want more freedom like my friends. They get to go to different places. They have their own cars—Keith: You’re only 16. We can’t give you a car.Lance: But my friends get cars for their sweet 16! Why can’t I have one?Keith: *turns around* You’re not old enough to have your own car. You can’t even be responsible for such little things. What more a car? It will be a waste of money.Lance: Then what the hell is all that money sitting in our bank accounts!!Keith: *eyes widens* Did you—Lance: *gulps* Yes I did. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.Shiro: Lance, if this is about the concert—Lance: Why couldn’t you just let me go?! Shiro: *grips the wheel* Because you’ve seen that band 3 times in a row already. For this year alone.Lance: But they’re—Keith: Lance McClain-Shirogane, stop acting like a brat! This behavior has gone too far. Underage drinking? Really? What else have you been doing aside from cutting classes? Your teacher called me today saying—Lance: Stop acting like my father!Keith: I am your—Lance: YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!!!Keith: *taken aback* *turns back away from Lance* Stop the car, Shiro. *looks at his husband* Please.

Shiro stopped the car and Keith got out. Lance was clenching his fist. Shiro told Lance to join Keith outside. He felt so guilty so he went out.

Keith: You probably don’t remember it but that building over there was the orphanage where you and Hunk were staying. When we entered those doors we were introduced to Hunk. I fell in love with that little boy instantly and was positive I was going to adopt him. But he kept on talking about his best friend that he loves so much, so you went out to join us and Hunk hugged and kissed you. I looked at your Daddy Shiro and told him we’ll take you both home. *looks at Lance* I wasn’t ready to have 3 kids with your Dad. One was okay, two was enough but three? I may not be the best father out there, but… *sighs sadly* I’m trying okay? There’s no manual for this, I’m learning along the way. I know I’m not your Dad and I will never replace him but god *tears shed* When you said that to me, suddenly I felt like all my efforts were futile. I try so hard more than your Daddy Shiro because god knows what you all three actually hate me *chuckles* and you’re all just putting up a front…Lance: *whispers* I don’t hate you. Plus, I know Hunk loves you the most.Keith: Then why are you doing this? *asks helplessly*Lance: I don’t know. Maybe I’m messed up. *teary eyed* I don’t really know. I just… I hate myself. I want to– *wipes tears* *chuckles* Oh god now I’m crying but do you have the time to listen to—*more tears pour out*Keith: I have the time. *smiles weakly as he wipes his child’s tears* Now stop crying or we’ll be out here for 5 hours. 

Shiro saw Keith and Lance hug outside the car and he smiled to himself. They would be okay, though he still needed to give Lance a three hour lecture when they get home. Lance had the lowest self esteem from the three and it broke his heart. Keith and Lance were alike in that department, and Lance just needed constant reminders just like his husband.