#the aftermath of this ending is totally fanfic worthy

[koganeirou]

tfw the only way you can romance this guy is thru a bad end where he kidnaps you, kills all your friends, and brainwashes you into believing his crazy ideas! :   ) I know I said I wanted a route for him but this isn’t what I meant. I questioned whether he really did care about Ichika but maybe overthrowing the government with the bae is his way of showing his affection lmfaoo.

[reluctant-fan-girl]

My thoughts on 139 as an Ereri shipper

Buckle up for a long read and some unpopular opinions haha. Feel free to add on/ correct me but this is only how I feel so take it with a pinch of salt, I'm not asking anyone to change how they feel because we're all feeling some feels right now and your grief is valid. I just really wanna talk about the chapter before I go back to my Yaoi ship. (Forgive my grammar errors and all I wrote this at 5am and I'll probably come back and fix the spelling and stuff later today)

Thoughts on ch 139:

Well... here we are guys. The last chapter, it's been one hell of a ride and even though I have only been a part of the community for three years I'm still sad it ended. (Not to mention it finished 4 days before my birthday but that's just an extra oof) I keep seeing a lot of Mikasa hate and even though I used to despise her this chapter really got me thinking and damn, she's definitely one of the strongest characters (second to Levi at least in terms of resolve but hey I'm biased lol) she killed the person she loved, who pushed her away time and time again, and until the very end wanted to save him yet she was the one who ended it all. I doubt I could do that if my girlfriend was doing something similar... but I guess most people are like that. I admit, when I read the chapter at work I began crying in the break room, not because the ending caught me off guard, it was about what I was expecting, but I'm still sad Eren died. All this stuff was foreshadowed through especially the last few chapters and I kind of hopped into the manga around when Zeke blew Levi up, and even then... I feel like I knew this would be how it turned out some time last year? It was mostly predictable since this story, from it's inception, has done nothing but break the shonen stereotype time and time again and this was just the kind of ending that would shatter the mould and make it worthy of that moniker. Now am I happy that Eremika is canon? Not really, in fact not at all I'm mad. Although tbh it's not that I really expected a same sex, age gap relationship to be canon in mainstream manga, but this is what fan fiction is made for right? Besides as much as this manga has challenged or straight up ignored it's very obvious what the intended ship was going to be from the start. Even still the confession at the end by Eren is honestly OOC from most of everything else he's said/done and feels forced but, 🤷🏻‍♀️ like... the ending would have been better if Eren's feelings stayed vague so we could come to our own conclusion. If I had my way I'd have Eren confessing to Levi and they'd run off to live in secret but again... that isn't how it ended and I'm accepting that even if I don't like it. (Plus I can read/write a fanfic of a 'better' ending to make myself feel better) but I'm glad I stuck around for such a bitter sweet end.

Eren's character:

Now I love Eren as much as anyone else, but I see lots of people crying "character assassination" and I feel this personally isnt true at least not completely. We're all grieving right now and I know he was so cute and lovable at the start (hell in a way he still is) but this has always been his character. He is the one who most desperately yearns for freedom because feels trapped by his fate more than anyone else. The line "I felt like I had to and I let myself get caught up in the flow" is proof he *knows* he isn't free despite his father's reassurance, and his own repetition of the phrase. There's a common phenomenon with mantras or the practice of repeating something over and over in your head, the more you say it, *the less you believe it* and IMHO Eren never really felt free from the start. He knew his fate was sealed and he probably could have, no... *should* have acted differently yet he himself couldn't change what fate had in store. He just kept moving forward for no other reason than he wanted to save Mikasa, Armin, and his people. He (may have?) sacrificed Carla, not to serve as motivation, but so that he could save Armin later on by eating the Colossal titan instead of burning to death. It must have been a heart wrenching choice to make but he cares for his friends more than anyone else. He gave them a fighting chance and his death gave the alliance a good name so the world (or the 20% left of it) would see they aren't the same as him. Of course I'm thinking, "What if he had Dina free Carla or just let her eat Bert I mean Grisha probably would have passed on the Attack titan to Eren even if Carla had lived," but Armin very well could've died in another way or things could've turned out so much worse for everyone else. But even if Eren hates his choice I think something to note here is he doesn't seem to regret it, taking some of Levi's advice with him to the grave (quite literally) Plus you guys have to remember he died at 19 years old, that is *young* and I may only be a few years older but 18-21 is a huge period of change and you wont make the best choices, he's dealing with all that on top of the memories of the other titan holders, and the founding titan which I think really messed with him more than anything. He even says he only wants to live 10 more years ;-; the poor thing deserved a full life too even if his perception of time is warped and he never got a chance to become an adult.

The aftermath:

Well, everyone seems happy for the most part which is great! The one thing that I didn't expect was for the ending to be bitter sweet rather than total annihilation. Historia really does seem... fuck it I don't know and this is the part that bugs me most is she never really got the ending she deserved and felt kinda... forgotten? It's hard to tell but I think she ended up loving her child in the end... maybe... she's smiling while holding her... right? Levi is out beyond the walls and he may be wheelchair bound and half blind but he's still alive! Now this is honestly my saving grace here I mean god imagine him surviving a literal bomb only to die such a lame and pointless death in the last chapter. My boy made it through everything though and he's still got them dad vibes with Gabi and Falco which is kinds sweet... but I still hate Gabi. I still really hate Gabi, but it's nice to see that they're all somewhat okay. (Plus okay... Eren Canonically being reborn as a bird is kinda hilarious yet fitting since he got his freedom... Parasitic Jaeger haha good one Isayama.) Who knows if the war will ever end, heck Isayama himself said this is only the begining and while the fight goes on they have a chance thanks to Eren sacrificing himself the way he did. He could've made so many other choices and I don't know what could've/would've been better. Maybe Isayama knows but time travel and altering the past opens a whole ass can of worms that is just... like the killing your grandpa paradox kinda thing and if I were writing this story I wouldn't wanna try and deal with that either, especially after writing one story for eleven years.

(LEVI LIVED MY BEST BOI LIVED WHOOOO YESS 😭😭😭 ALL I COULD ASK FOR AHHH) *cough* sorry I had some crying fan girl in me that demanded to be seen too

Anyways this was just my thoughts for now, I may eventually write more and hell I'll probably go back to sweet sweet denial myself, posting contradictions because dammit I love my ereri too much and some people have good points or some posts are just funny in general. Have a good day, stay safe, and we are all in this together <3 Thanks for reading all the way if you did! (And here's a good meme to lighten the mood too)

[a-ratt]

Into the Mari-verse (for real this time)

Alright. Alright. Alright.

I’m back. That’s not a good thing. Maybe it is. I don’t know.

Okay, so, like, a week ago, I made a post about a WIP fanfic I was writing, but, uh, that may or may not happen idk. Anyways, I thought I might as well throw out all the notes I took and ideas and concepts I came up with, so, here goes:

The Goal:

So, when I first brainstormed this I wanted to think about how this would have to differ from Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse. First things first, the main character, Marinette, is an established superhero who’s confident about herself, both in her personal and superhero life. Meanwhile, Miles Morales is a normal teenager who suddenly gets superpowers and has to learn how to be Spider-Man to save New York City.

Taking that into consideration, I had to write out a completely different arc for Marinette. From reading multiple fanfics and posts critiquing the show (credits to @zoe-oneesama @miraculouscontent and others.) I decided the best course of action would be for Marinette to work on her self-confidence. Now, here’s the thing, she’s already self-confident. At least, that’s how she’s portrayed. (Unless she’s in the same room as Adrien.) But, through reviewing the show’s canon and plotting out how characters should be growing, I decided that she’s probably got a lot of pent up emotions. Chief among them is probably anger at always being walked on and taken for granted, especially after Chameleon.

With the goal being more introspective, I was also able to validate the idea of the Mari-verse. (i.e. bringing multiple Marinettes into the same reality.) Each one has their own issue that they’re dealing with and each one helps the others with dealing with those issues.

The Marinettes:

Okay, so this is the real meat of the story. This is what everyone’s probably coming for. The base concept of Into the Mari-verse, is that multiple, alternate Marinettes converge on the same reality due to some phenomenon (I’ll explain that later.)

Anyways, the final total of Marinettes to show up in the story was five:

Ladybug!Marinette: The canon Marinette who received the Ladybug Earrings and became the Miraculous Ladybug. She has lived a rather successful life, saving Paris and getting A’s at school. Recently, she’s hit some rough terrain thanks to the return of Lila and her plot to turn her class against her. Thanks to her, Marinette has become tired and detached from her personal life; depressed, but not to an extreme.

This has led to a crisis of identity. Unlike most stories, however, she beholds her superhero alter ego, to the point that she questions her role as Marinette. Though Tikki argues that she shouldn’t neglect her personal life, Marinette cannot help but notice that people take her for granted, but they worship Ladybug.

Butterfly!Marinette: An alternate Marinette that succeeded in giving away the Ladybug Earrings to Alya in the Origins episodes. While Ladybird and Chat Noir continued to protect Paris, Marinette remained a side character. She stayed true to her values, standing up to bullies and helping others, but her she often feels guilt and experiences moments of self-loathing for pushing such a heavy burden as the duties of a superhero onto someone else; i.e. the new girl in class and her best-friend at that. Her closeness with Alya, however, has also translated into favoritism by Ladybird and Chat Noir, something Hawkmoth noticed.

During the events of Hero’s Day, Marinette was captured and used as bait, but after being freed, she helped distract Hawkmoth long enough for Team Miraculous to regroup and defeat the super villain themselves. She was taken to safety before the final fight and in the aftermath, crossed paths with an exhausted Gabriel Agreste who claimed to have been transformed into the Collector. Unbeknownst to either of them, Nuuru stole the Butterfly Brooch from Gabriel and stowed away inside of Marinette’s purse. Later that day, she discovered him. He convinced her to take up the superhero mantle once again and she became Le Monarque. Her inexperience has resulted in self-doubt and a fear of failure.

Bee!Marinette: (credited to @zoe-oneesama) An alternate Marinette that had the Ladybug Earrings stolen from her by Chloé without her ever realizing she had them. While Scarlet Lady and Chat Noir defended Paris (mostly Chat Noir), Marinette remained a resolute figure of confidence and courage among her peers. After receiving the Bee Comb, she became the Miraculous Marigold and clashed with Scarlet Lady over the role of team leader during akuma attacks. Her constant taking command of situations and pushing Scarlet Lady to the side has developed into a kind of controlling behavior, resulting in a minor issue of pride. Usually seen as the obvious leader among her peers, she rarely butts heads with anyone.

However, in Ladybug!Marinette’s reality, she butts heads with the other Marinettes over what course of actions should be taken.

Dragon!Marinette: An alternate Marinette who received the Dragon Miraculous. In a Paris that has long been protected by Ladybug and Chat Noir (in actuality, the married couple, Gabriel and Emilie Agreste), Marinette Dupain-Cheng was born with brown eyes. She adhered to her mother’s Chinese heritage, but was bullied for this. Due to this, she has developed an isolationist demeanor, veering away from social contact.

Later, in collège, Paris came under attack by the former Guardian of the Miraculous, Master Fu, who abused the powers of the Butterfly Miraculous in order to reclaim the Miraculous protected by the Agrestes. To fight him, both Ladybug and Chat Noir required aid, so they gifted Marinette, a notably resolute and resilient classmate of their son, the Dragon Miraculous, turning her into Chu Long.

Cat!Marinette: An alternate Marinette who received the Cat Ring instead of the Ladybug Earrings. Plagg’s influence developed her into a more mischievous and conniving character, often playing pranks, making jokes, and playing around. Though she retains her serious demeanor when it comes to situations demanding it, she is usually playful. (She’s basically a Meme!Marinette) However, she has an issue with self-sacrifice, believing that she must give up herself if it means she is helping others. While it is a tense issue in akuma fights, it is even worse in her personal life, with her classmates usually walking over her and bullies, such as Chloè and Lila taking advantage of her kindness.

Peacock!Marinette: An alternate Marinette that lost faith in herself. (Yeah, this is gonna take a dark turn.) Marinette has always proven to be a strong and confident character, incorruptible and resolute in her beliefs. However, she has had moments of doubt.

She holds Ladybug to an impossible standard. She must be the flawless symbol of heroism and nobility in order to be a superhero. However, is she truly worthy to be Ladybug is she’s been nearly akumatized twice? These seeds of doubt have haunted her for some time, and after the akumatization of her father because of her own emotional, irrational actions, she chooses to give up the Ladybug Earrings.

Her life took a downspiral from then on out. Her classmates abandoned her. Alya and Nino turned their backs on her. She was slowly breaking. Lila’s lies were destroying her life.

In the end, she managed to find comfort in Adrien, but when she managed to build up the courage to confess her feelings, he rebuffed them and told her about his devotion to Ladybug.

That was the last straw.

She once beheld Ladybug, but now she loathed her. While Paris praised their beloved hero, they forsook her.

Her festering negativity drew Hawkmoth’s attention, but instead of akumatizing her, he invited her to the Agreste Mansion under the guise of an internship. She was overjoyed at the prospect, but was quickly horrified to find the super villain in Gabriel Agreste’s place.

Hawkmoth manipulated her emotions, making her believe that the world had turned its back on her. He offered the damaged Peacock Miraculous to her, hoping she would claim it and work as his minion. Marinette, at the lowest point in her life, accepted.

Thus, Le Paon was born and began her reign of terror on Paris, hunting down her former friends and forcing Master Fu into hiding.

The Catalyst:

So, this is the event that actually causes the Marinettes to crossover into Ladybug!Marinette’s reality. It’s not so much of an event as it is an akuma, though.

Her name is Metadrama.

Prior to her akumatization, she lost her father to cancer. He often read her storybooks and she was fascinated with the fantastical tales. Heartbroken at this “bad ending”, she longed for a happy ending. Hawkmoth granted her the ability to search every reality for that happy ending.

In battle against Ladybug and Chat Noir, she proved a powerful opponent. Unlike most akumas, she manipulated the environment around her. Wielding paracausal and reality-warping abilities, she forced Paris to “glitch” and alternate between different versions of itself.

Her ultimate goal was to reach the Eiffel Tower and, from there, alter the entirety of Paris in search of the perfect universe where her father survived.

Ladybug and Chat Noir managed to restrain her with the former’s Lucky Charm, but realized to late that her akumatized object was not on her person, but was actually a storybook that she was using to conjure a portal.

Ladybug was able to destroy it, but was exposed to its paracausal and reality-warping energies, causing multiple Marinettes to converge on Ladybug!Marinette’s universe.

Extra Notes:

So, yeah, that’s Into the Mari-verse, or, at least the base concepts and ideas that I came up with. Thought I’d just throw this out there since I don’t know if I’m actually going to write the story. Pairings with the Marinettes are subjective until I finalize who I want with who. (Kinda gunning for a Chlonette/Kagaminette ending, though.)

Character development is based on how the Marinettes interact with each other, either clashing with or helping each other. For example, the Marinettes, looking for a way home, need Butterfly!Marinette to akumatize someone into Metadrama so they can create another portal. However, Butterfly!Marinette doesn’t know how to use her powers, or even how to be a superhero, so they spend their time teaching her. Another example is Ladybug!Marinette coming to terms with how she’s treated by her friends (i.e. Chat’s neglect of her personal space and feelings, her classmates invalidation of her feelings, and her own weariness of herself.) Over the course of the story, the other Marinettes support her and encourage her to believe in herself.

Characters outside of the Marinettes are still being worked on. I definitely want to include redemption arcs for certain characters, Chloè especially. I would like to put more spotlight on Kagami and Luka, both are characters with an incredible amount of potential. I’d like for Alya to have a moment when she comes down from her pedestal and actually apologize to Marinette for her behavior and confess her faults.

On the note of Gabriel Agreste/Hawmoth, I’m uncertain if I want to resolve the Agreste storyline. It’d be a good conclusion to have the Marinette expose his true identity, but it’d also deprive the show of its basis of Team Miraculous winning the day instead of a single character and her many selves. Also, it’d also leave out a future where Team Miraculous deals with Akumas rather than regular crime.

Anyways, thanks for reading. I hope you all enjoyed what I’ve got jotted down. If you’ve got some constructive criticism, please leave some notes. Share this around if you’d like, I’d love the promotion. It’d help me build this idea more.

Thanks again to @zoe-oneesama for letting me use Marigold in this story concept and thanks to @miraculouscontent for her amazing critique and “fixes” of ML canon.

[happinessinthedarkest-times]

avengers endgame reaction (spoilers!!!)

**if youre on mobile scroll fast bc idk if the keep reading works

holy shit holy shit fuck fuck fuck

i am an emotional wreak right now

ahhhhh it was so good im crying still

tony fucking stark my heart i guess ill start there 

tony stark i love you three thousand. he got his happy ending with morgan and pepper for 5 years they had 5 years together and he knew that the time heist (lol) would jeopardize that and he still went and helped

that scene where he had it out with steve at the beginning fuck my heart was breaking and i was crying .

i cried a lot in this movie. legit sobbing when nat died but ill get to that

that scene was everything i wanted it to be and perfectly executed. of course hes angry and lashing out because they were supposed to do it together and lose together and the emotion behind that ughh rdj killed it

he literally hands steve his heart the arch reactor

tony and howard ugh everything with them together. tony got closure with his dad 

everything tony was great. 

steve 

he got his happy ending. he got his dance with peggy (now im crying again) fuck. and he PICK UP MJOLNIR omg that scene was amazing and everything i never dreamed could happen when the hammer started moving ughhhh omg i was cheering so loud in the theatre and i dont normally do that. that whole scene ugh theres so much to react to

and he got to say assemble. 

ok now from the beginning. 

i started to cry literally before it even started. the screen was black and i was already tearing up but when clint and his daughter came up and then his family disappeared i was full on crying.

carol coming in clutch and saving tony and nebula yessss

steve and tony’s conversation right when he gets off the ship was everything i wanted it to be. (crying again) everything. 

when they go to thanos’s house thing and thor chops off his arm . its what ive been saying they shouldve done on titan 

and then he went for the head! 

five....... 

years later

fuck them. literally when the ‘five’ came up i was like no no no dont you dare do it dont you dare and then they did it. fuck them

five fucking years?!?! they made them live through 5 years of that trauma?!?!? 

nat was everything in this film. she became the leader and keeping track of everything and her moment of breaking down was just so human. she couldnt move on in those 5 years and it just shows how much the avengers had become her family. 

scott and cassie omg cassie all grown up made me so emotional 

tony and morgan i love you three thousand she is the cutest and sweetest thing 

tony fucking stark figured out time travel. he did that. 

when tony gives steve his shield back my heart could not take it

the scenes where they were trying to pinpoint the exact time to go back and it was like a sleepover sesh and all the domestic avenger fanfics 

going back a little bit

clint killing all the people that should have been killed and deserved to be killed and being a total badass showing up all those people who said he was just really good with an arrow and every scene he has with nat.

‘dont give me hope’

thor. oh where to start. he really did lose everything and he was blaming himself for all that happened so i get where hes coming from. every time you could see him remembering and tormenting himself about what happened broke me. his scene with his mother (crying again)

also hulk/bruce was an interesting choice (not a huge fan of it but ok) 

the time traveling

everything about the new york scenes were amazing. the aftermath of the end of the avengers, loki turning into cap for a second, seeing rumlow and sitwell come out, steve getting into the elevator and channeling that winter soldier energy (i was slapping my sister on the arm so hard at this part) hail hydra and outsmarting them all. cap fighting cap “i can do this all day” lmao i was dying ‘bucky is alive” again dying they really nailed it with this. i was worried beforehand because like it would change how we would see the og avengers but i still think it works

also can talk about how tony (and scott) was checking out steves ass????

“i forgot how that suit did nothing for you ass” (be still my heart) “i like to think of it at america’s ass” (or whatever the line was) 

loki getting away with the tesseract (is that in this timeline im confused about that hopefully someone will explain bc does that mean loki is alive in this timeline or not? lol)

them going back to the 1970s (do you trust me? i do) and tony meeting howard and introducing himself as howard potts. again i know i talked about howard and tony already but i loved their scenes. and JARVIS FROM AGENT CARTER MAKING AN APPEARANCE OMG

PEGGYYYYYYY (crying) when steve walked into her office (grabbed my sister again) and when he was watching her through the window and you could feel his pain. 

thor and rocket are the pairing that i never imagined but amazing none the less. i loved that we got the return of mjolnir here even though idk what that does to the timeline (again who knows at this point) 

rhodey and nebula again another pairing i didnt expect but are great together. everything about nebula in this film. she really has a great arch. i was stressing out so hard when the alternate timeline thanos found out that they came from the past. the scene where peter quill is dancing and singing to no music was great.

clint and natasha. this pairing thie duo the og. fuck my heart. when they started going off to vormir i knew. i knew it and i cannot handle it. the whole scene where they are fighting each other to sacrifice themself i was SOBBING. LEGIT SOBBING. ‘let me go’ i loved this so much and also hated it. she deserved her happy ending too. after everything she gave up everything to save those people. her arch is so good too. im excited for her origin. i kinda want to see her when shes a bad guy and killing everyone and her journey to shield. i hope thats what we’ll see in her movie. 

but also that scene emotionally fucked me up hard. 

the og avengers (minus nat) sitting on the edge of the lake 

thor trying to put on the glove and redeem himself (in his own eyes not my own bc he doesnt deserve the shit he gets for not going for the head)

hulk doing it and the calm before the storm where everything goes back before that missile comes firing down. 

steve tony and thor facing off with thanos. everything about this scene. tony getting a juice-up from thor and lightning to max out his powers. steve jump kicking on thanos’s ass. thanos beating up thor and steve coming in with FUCKING MJOLNIR AGAIN CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I WAS CHEERING AT THIS POINT HE IS WORTHY MY BOY STEVE IS WORTHY

also on that note tony coming up to steve and saying “theres my man” or something and giving him back his shield again. 

steve standing there with his broken shield ready to face off with thanos’s army and sam coming in on the comm. and then EVERYONE COMING THRU AND KICKING NAMES AND TAKING ASS

legit cheering and crying so much 

valkyrie with her pegasus

shuri with her blasters 

peter parker and his reunion with tony was heartbreaking. tony looked so broken and complete at the same time. he got him back. 

PEPPER FREAKING POTTS 

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE (YEESSSSSSSS)

peter quill’s semi-reunion with gamora and how she doesnt know him but he gets her back

also gamora, nebula and still-evil!nebula was a great scene. nebula killing her past self is some symbolic shit right there AND to protect her sister who she hated

CAROL FUCKING DANVERS COMING TO SAVE THE DAY AND KICK THANOS’S ASS 

im sad that she wasn’t in the film as much but i get why they did it and it also makes me really excited for her future films

but carol getting the gauntlet and peter saying “i dont know how youre gonna get through that” 

and ALL THE BADASS MCU WOMEN COMING UP BEHIND HER READY TO FIGHT AND REPRESENT FOR THE FEMALES (CRYING) 

this is something that couldn’t of been done a few years ago because there weren’t a lot of female superheroes in this universe and just the fact that this scene can make such an impression and become probably one of the most badass scenes of the mcu is one of the best things that came out of this movie.

side note: ‘activate instant kill’ great callback 

and then we get to the sacrifice.

i knew it. i expected it. i read it in fanfics.

i was still not prepared. 

‘I am inevitable’

‘I AM IRON MAN’

FUCKKKKKKKK they really know how to write these movies. 

he knew he would die. he knew he would never see morgan again. but he knew what he had to do. 

his character arch from a selfish man to a selfless man has been the most profound and powerful story. 

rdj and tony stark have really carried this franchise. they were the start. and it makes sense that his death closes out this era of the mcu. 

to rdj: i will never forgive my mom for telling me that she didn’t like you way back when. that really influenced how i thought about you and about tony stark for years. and i limited me from really appreciating and loving iron man and those movies and tony’s character. but as i continued to watch more of you in the mcu and in real life and have seen how you have grown and who you are today, i have so much love and respect for you and your character. im just so upset at the time i lost where i could have fallen even more in love with you. thank you so much for everything you have done over the last 11 years for this franchise. thank you for the time thank you for the memories and the laughs. the journey has been amazing. 

the funeral scene with ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ 

(also was the the kid from iron man 3 in the back?)

VALKYRIE BECOMING KING (queen? i say king but who knows) of new asgard. look at my killing baby all grown up and being the leader they need.

thor becoming a guardian basically. 

also was quill looking for his gamora? where was the gamora from this timeline on the ship? she wasn’t there in the scene so idk

also fighting with knives to see whos in charge lol

im glad people mentioned/mourned for nat too 

steve rogers 

steve.

i knew he wasn’t coming back.

bucky knew it too.

im wreaked

but at least he got his happy ending. he got his peggy (again idk what that does to her timeline) 

captain sam wilson america in the house.

(old steve looks like joe biden or is it just me lol)

they ended it with a steggy dance and kiss

it really was a perfect end to his story and it wrapped up his character really well. he got that life he deserved 

to chris evans: as this is probably the last time we will see you as captain america let me thank you too for the years and joy that you have brought to my life. youre it for me. you are the reason i became so invested in this world. when you jumped on the fake grenade i was in it with you. chris you are and will always be the best chris in my heart. your passion for this character and understanding of steve rogers and his motivations have created such a memorable performance. steve rogers will always be the og. he will always have my heart. i am so thankful that you took this opportunity and used it and made this character your own. you live up to the standards that steve holds for himself and i am so excited for your future. i am also so glad that you didn’t die in this movie bc i definitely could not have handled it if i had to watch both my favs die. i love you three thousand.

i literally cried throughout the whole movie. there were laughs, cheers, groans, stress, tears, and love throughout this film. i am so grateful that i am alive during this time in cinematic history. there will never be something as great or momentous as this film. a true culmination of 22 films. its never been done and i doubt itll ever be done again

i am also so impressed and amazed by how well this film turned out. it is just amazing how everything fell into place 

im sure ill read other people’s reactions and they will bring up points or problematic things that will taint my view on this movie but i dont want that to ruin my own experience

and for me, this was truly emotionally draining and fulfilling. the feeling of being in that theatre with all those people who love the characters as much as i do and experiencing this film for the first time is something i will never forget. 

people talk about how they remember lining up for star wars.

well i remember sobbing my eyes out when nat died, cheering along with everyone when cap picked up mjolnir and whipped thanos’s ass with it and when carol and the rest of the badass women of the mcu ready to kick ass, crying with everyone as the light went out in tony’s chest and eyes, watching as history was made in front of our eyes.

and the end credits with the og avengers getting recognition with their photos and autographs. 

i love this franchise and these films and these characters i dont know who i would be without them. 

one last thing

thank you to the og avengers. steve tony thor nat clint bruce. chris robert chris scarlett jeremy mark. you will always have a special place in my heart. you were there at the start. you were the reason this all could happen you were the reason i became so invested in these movies. you brought these characters to life and embodied them. you are all so much like your characters the casting is perfect. thank you for your dedication to your work to you fans and to your characters. it means so much that you all stuck through this together and that you are such great friends in real life and i can only hope that one day i can be so lucky as to meet you all and thank you in person. 

[irondevilpunisher]

My Punisher Review

*No Spoilers*

This is the series I’ve waited years for, ever since the 2003 film starring Thomas Jane (which I still love btw). I don’t know what it is about the Punisher’s story of a broken man out for revenge that has me so entranced, because lets face it this isn’t an original plot. Its been done many times; example Death Wish. I guess it has a lot to do with how its executed that keeps the Punisher fresh and interesting just like its titular antihero. Plus I’m a sucker for antiheroes and people just can’t get enough of this guy. So did the series do this iconic MCU character justice? Yes it did and more. However there are some issues I had with the series that I will get into but first let me talk about the highlights.

 Let me start off by talking about the acting powerhouse that is Jon Bernthal. For me he stole the show in DD2 so I didn’t expect anything less in his own standalone series. And believe me he absolutely kills it in this. He kicked ass. In my opinion Frank Castle is Jon Bernthal’s baby now and forever; he embodies that character like no other. I’ve loved Jon’s work since his Walking Dead days (despite my loathing for Shane’s character). When I heard he got cast as the Punisher for Daredevil’s 2nd season I thought “hah, I wanna see what this guys’s got” sure enough Jon blew me away with his outstanding performances and won me over indefinitely. I just did not expect to fall even more in love with this character under Jon Bernthal when I had Shane still lodged in my mind. That said entering DD2, Shane was nowhere in sight. 

He definitely had quite the load to work with but Jon seamlessly brings a near perfect blend of vulnerability, humanity and lethal infusion. What he did with the Punisher in Daredevil’s 2nd run, he takes it to the next level in the spinoff series. The layers and complexities he gives Castle are nothing short of brilliant. One minute he can make you laugh, then scared, then break your heart which isn’t an easily accomplished feat at all considering how brutal Frank can be. You wouldn’t think it watching how violently Castle exacts his own brand of justice but Jon’s portrayal for the most part comes across as oddly endearing, sympathetic, charming and even relatable. Frank is such a tortured and tragic individual. He’s just likable even when he’s not trying to be. He was a family man, a marine and a patriot to his country. Frank had problems in his marriage yet was completely in love with his wife. Struggled with ptsd which is why he had issues connecting with his family and maintaining other relationships. And he’s incredibly selfless. Frank’s torn love for his fellow soldiers and his family is actually bittersweet and very human.  

There is no one more deserving of their own series than Frank Castle. And Jon hit a grand slam with this one.

Moving onto the second highlight of the Punisher series, David Lieberman aka Micro aka Frank’s new geeky buddy/partner in crime. This guy was freaking awesome! I mean seriously I loved this character right out of the gate. He stole all his scenes. And the best part about Micro is he wasn’t just there to be the comic relief or the techy sidekick, he really humanizes the Punisher. Brings out a lighter more laid back side to Frank’s persona. The two characters just play off each other so well, Bernthal and Ebon Moss-Bachrach have such a natural instant onscreen chemistry, its actually touching. I could watch their scenes all day. I really enjoyed following and witnessing the connection between these two men deepen as they worked together throughout the series. Their relationship is without a doubt the core of this show. And Moss-Bachrach made me feel so much for Micro’s character in terms of his isolation and alienation from his family. I couldn’t imagine anyone else playing opposite to Jon’s respective Punisher. Micro is literally the best friend Castle could’ve asked for, totally has his back 100%. Such a welcoming addition to the Punisher’s brutal world. 

Frank really needed this guy to keep him balanced. Polar opposites yet they have so much in common at the same time. Its like watching the Die Hard version of the Odd Couple only better. I don’t know what’s in store for Micro next season but (not to spoil you) I just have a terrible feeling he may suffer the same fate as Frank judging by how his seasonal arc ended. I sincerely hope not but if we go by what happens in the comics you know that the Punisher/Micro are a package deal. They’re in it together all the way. 

 Other highlights include Ben Barnes as the show’s villain Billy Russo aka Jigsaw/former best friend of Frank Castle. Holy crap this guy was scary as he was sexy. The interesting theme I found in this series was human nature and how sometimes it can be catastrophic. While Frank is so open about his grief and rage. Russo is the opposite, he’s the calm before the storm. His rage is more on the inside which makes him all the more dangerous and a worthy adversary to Castle. Strangely enough I really liked this character. He doesn’t set out to be evil just doing what he feels is right. Russo harbors so much pain and anger, dealt a lousy hand in life. And Barnes kicks a hell of a lot of ass in this role. I even enjoyed his complicated romance with Dinah Madani. They had nice chemistry together and quite a few steamy scenes that were pretty ship worthy which makes their inevitable conflict that much more heart-wrenching. Although I wasn’t entirely fond of Madani in the beginning and found her many times naive when it came to Russo, Amber Rose Revah did play the part best to her ability. She also had a fascinating cat/mouse thing going on with Frank Castle and I loved her dynamic with fellow agent Sam Stein. 

Most of the supporting characters are good and compliment the show’s lead very well. The flashbacks and dreams of Frank with Maria were bittersweet and heartbreaking as they were essential. In a way Maria acts as Frank’s guardian angel and conscience. Flawless chemistry between these actors. It hurt knowing Maria and the kids were dead yet I kept wishing they weren’t every time Frank had a moment with them. I have to commend the casting decisions for the Punisher people because they really wanted actors who gelled in the limited time they had. And fortunately they did. Jon does some fantastic work involving the Frank and Maria Castle stuff, particularly in the last couple episodes of the series. 

Sarah Lieberman is a doll. I absolutely loved her character and her interaction with both Frank Castle and her husband Micro. Jaime Ray Newman is gorgeous, talented and so underrated as an actress. She’s strong as she is vulnerable and sweet. She really brought out a softer and much kinder side of Frank that was needed to keep his character grounded enough so that the Punisher wasn’t just strictly about murdering people. In fact her chemistry with Bernthal and Moss-Bachrach was an accidental surprise and really had me torn because after watching this series I proudly ship the hell out of them both. The unexpected connection that Frank develops with the Lieberman family is some of the most powerful bits of storytelling. This broken man who’d lost his own family he  in turn gains another and its some of the most simple yet entertaining parts about this show. I just really enjoyed Frank’s interaction with Sarah and the kids. And I’m looking forward to where the writers take them next season, hopefully its in a good place. 

Karen Page, it was so nice seeing her again after Defenders. DAW is just stunning as she is awesome as this character. She wasn’t in the Punisher that much but I will say this show gave her a hell of a lot more story time than Defenders did. I really looked forward to watching Karen extend her reporting ventures and learning how she’d been dealing with the aftermath of Matt Murdock/Daredevil’s supposed death. Suffice for me to say this girl was hurting badly. Though [minor spoiler] Matt nor Foggy’s names escaped her lips even once on the Punisher, the way DAW played it so subtly internal made me think they were on her mind the entire time she was onscreen. Karen was definitely wearing masks while she was in Frank’s presence. Hiding from him and herself as much as she was using work to escape her pain. And that obvious grief only provoked a more reckless side in Karen to say the least. I won’t say what that was of course being that this review is supposed to be spoiler free. 

The one thing I will touch on about Karen’s appearance that I didn’t enjoy would have to be the plot she was given in the Punisher. Which brings me to my low-lights of the series.

The Kastle stuff was fantastic in DD2 I loved their scenes and their dialogue in that season of Daredevil. Both Bernthal and DAW managed to create an interesting dynamic between Frank and Karen, a unique bond, mutual respect and understanding. And I thought that relationship would’ve translated beautifully in the spinoff as it’d done on DD. However in my humble opinion it did not. I just didn’t feel the connection between these two characters was genuine  as it had been in DD2. While some stuff was touching [like the hug between Karen and Frank at her apartment] there were parts about their interaction that had me rolling my eyes. I’m talking cringe-worthy moments [like Frank’s little “she’s family” outburst with Micro and the elevator]. It just felt so out of place especially when Karen’s name did not come up on Frank’s radar when she wasn’t in episodes. There were times it seemed as if I were watching a soapy Kastle fanfic instead of the EPIC story of Frank Castle/The Punisher. 

Don’t even get me started on the fact that Karen’s role in this series was minuscule or that the B-plot she was involved in was horribly predictable, badly written and unimaginative. Far as I’m concerned the whole Lewis Wilson arc was the weakest part about the Punisher. It only served to give Karen’s character an excuse to stick around longer and to satisfy the dreams of a certain section in this fandom. I understand very well why Karen was used instead of Claire Temple to bridge Punisher with Daredevil; she developed a bond with him. It only made sense for the writers to use her for that purpose. But for me this is what slowed the series down. And as much as I love Karen and seeing her developed further this show did nothing for her. We didn’t get any insight into where her head was at after Defenders which is what the Punisher really needed to keep all these Netflix MCU worlds connected. She doesn’t really share any personal or meaningful conversations with Frank as she’d done previously. So because of that, Karen Page’s addition into the Punisher felt disjointed and awkward. 

The veterans/gun-control plot part of the Lewis arc really wasn’t needed. It worked for an episode after that this part of the plot took me out of Frank Castle’s story. Hopefully next time the Punisher writers will stay focused on the main storyline they’re telling and less on the preachy bits about today’s society.  

Overall this was a really strong start for a freshman series. Its flawed and far from perfect but still badass and entertaining. The action/fight sequences and stunts were gritty and excellently choreographed. There’s plenty of guts and gore in this show so if you have a weak stomach you might want to avoid the Punisher. And the bodycount is fairly high, it wouldn’t be the Punisher if it wasn’t. The pacing is decent. The writing in most of the episodes was modest, most notably in the last 3 episodes. Its definitely one of my top favorite Netflix MCU shows. I sat on the edge of my seat from the start to the end. So much potential for better seasons to come but all and all I finished this show feeling very satisfied and wanting more. 

A worthy addition to the netflix MCU. Oh and that freaking intro man it has to be my favorite by far!

 Final thoughts go to my fellow Karedevil shippers:

I know its been a rocky road for all of us after DD2 and Defenders. Some of you have chosen to abandon ship while others are only slowly losing faith in the DD writers. It might seem hopeless right now but as I said in my Karedevil post  Karen Page’s path is still pointed towards Matt Murdock’s. Her state of suffering in the Punisher only clarifies how much Karen still loves Matt. Her fears and concerns for Frank’s well-being came from a place of her own personal loss. She did not want to lose another person she cares about just as she felt she’s lost Matt, I strongly believe this.

Its not over between them its only the beginning. Besides no one ever said the road to true love would be easy. So hang in there guys DD3 ‘Born Again’ is coming and I anticipate great things. Charlie believes in Karedevil and knows they’re meant to be just as we do. The only thing the Punisher writers did for Frank and Karen was give their fans a few tasty snaps and closure, kinda like what DD2 and Defenders did for Mattelektra fans. There is still plenty of hope left for Matt and Karen now that she knows his secret and that they remain part of each other’s lives. Until then we carry on chilled. 

Now here’s a lovely Charlie gif for you all.

[sorrelchestnut]

2017 Fic in Review

Tagged by the wonderful @solas-you-nerd​, which is great because I find this sort of thing fascinating.  I decided to separate this into two sections, AO3 stats and ~author opinions.~  And to be fair and equitable, I've left Cry Havoc out of the stats section, since as a long-term WIP a lot of its numbers came from well before 2017, and shouldn't be counted.

STATISTICS

No surprise anywhere here.  The "top threes" are all the same fics, in the same order.  The clear favorite was for a new, active fandom that I was posting in right as it was getting going, and then some heavy falloff to the next two, which were rule 63 AU fics in a fandom that is past its heyday.  For that series, the fics received attention more or less in the order they were posted, with interest falling off as subsequent fics in the series were posted.

1. Your 3 fanfics with the most comment threads in 2017:

52: Shoot to Thrill (ME:A, f!Ryder/Reyes) 12: go home, or make a home (Hobbit movies, Thorin/f!Bilbo) 11: Songs You Know by Heart (Hobbit movies, Thorin/f!Bilbo)

2: Your 3 fanfics with the most kudos in 2017:

278: Shoot to Thrill (ME:A, f!Ryder/Reyes) 185: go home, or make a home (Hobbit movies, Thorin/f!Bilbo) 141: Songs You Know by Heart (Hobbit movies, Thorin/f!Bilbo)

3: Your 3 fanfics with the most bookmarks in 2017:

75: Shoot to Thrill (ME:A, f!Ryder/Reyes) 44: go home, or make a home (Hobbit movies, Thorin/f!Bilbo) 28: Songs You Know by Heart (Hobbit movies, Thorin/f!Bilbo)

4: Your first fanfic in 2017:

Posted 04-12-2017: Shoot to Thrill (ME:A, f!Ryder/Reyes)

5: Your last fanfic in 2017:

Posted 11/01/2017: Jeepers Creepers (FO4, Deacon gen)

6: Your longest fanfic in 2017:

23,984: Consider the Thorns (Hobbit movies, Thorin/f!Bilbo)

OPINIONS

1: Favorite opening line from a fic in 2017:

Bryony Baggins was, in the general way of things, a gentlehobbit.  (from go home, or make a home)

I actually love the whole opening section, but the first line was pretty good too.  It was my attempt to ape something of Tolkien's tone as best I could, and while other stories in the series (and, for that matter, the rest of the fic) diverged back to more my own style, this bit was fun to play with.  I particularly had a blast retooling the first conversation between Bree and Gandalf; for example, Bree stealing "I am Gandalf, and Gandalf is me!" line from the book.  It also made for a great whiplash to pull from that right into the aftermath of the battle, with all of the grief and hope that entailed.

2: Favorite ending line from a fic in 2017:

“I’m right behind you, ma’am,” he says, and it feels like the first true thing he’s ever said. “You can count on me.”  (from The Hollow Man)

This was SUCH an important line for me; well before I wrote this scene, it was always in the back of my head.  It's symbolic in the sense that he's saying "you can trust me at your back" which is a big thing since the last time they saw each other, she basically handed him a gun and a motive and dared him to shoot her.  It's also his way of expressing... not just loyalty, which she knew she had when he showed up, and not just affection, which she knew she had regardless of how he chose - but fealty.  Not a soldier following a commanding officer, but a knight swearing to a queen.  Which, despite the outward trappings of their relationship, is very much what they are.

3: Your favorite character to write for in 2017:

X6-88 was my dark horse favorite for 2017.  (Pun very much NOT intended.)  He's a man of VERY strong opinions, which make him a fantastic character, even if I don't agree with said opinions (or, for that matter, all of his actions).  He's a bundle of contradictions, and my favorite contradiction is how he can be so seemingly robotic and yet so hilariously human about some things.  He has doubts, and is startlingly honest about them.  He's such a prideful dick when it comes to being a courser; no else, save perhaps the Sole Survivor themself, really measures up to his standards, and he's not shy with his disdain.  But he's also bone-loyal, and not just because he's programmed to be, and he knows how to admit when he's wrong.

Also, he curses, and listening to him curse in that monotone voice is GREAT.  A shallow finish, but there we are.

4: Your favorite pairing to write for in 2017:

I really enjoyed writing Thorin/Bree, because I loved the chance to write belligerent sexual tension that is fun and snappy and not, like, bordering on abusive behavior.  But my real favorite is actually the tangled Sole/MacCready/X6-88 triangle.  When I first started writing what would eventually be The Hollow Man, I was working on it as a character piece but didn't really know how he'd fit into the existing Sole/Mac dynamic.  I thought he'd hate Mac and respect Sole - you can see that in the opening section, before the time jump.  But just look at X6's handoff dialogues.  There's basically three companions he judges worthy of looking after the Sole Survivor: Strong, because he's big and, well, strong enough to serve as a bodyguard; Danse, because he has the "training and equipment" to serve as a bodyguard; and MACCREADY.  "I know your reputation, MacCready.  I'm confident you can handle whatever threats you encounter."

Once I realized that X6 could - and would! - respect Mac, after getting the chance to actually see him at work, the rest just fell into place.  I liked writing Sole basically bludgeoning X6 into compliance using logic and charisma, but the most important part of that scene was always that X6 fell for Mac first; he was only able to see Sole for who she really is because of seeing her in context with MacCready.  Neither of them  could have brought X6 to the point of decision he reached in that fic on their own.

5: Your proudest fic from 2017:

Definitely go home, or make a home.  This fic shouldn’t exist, y’all.  I started it back in 2014, but it basically disappeared into the void once I started my final semester in grad school.  I always used to open it up, sigh wistfully about finishing it someday, and then put it back down.  And then this year, I was thinking about turning thirty and how it was this big landmark but didn’t feel like a big landmark, and I decided to make something of it by finishing an old WIP by my birthday.  And so I pulled that one out, dusted it off, and I fucking did it.  I had to come up with an ending and then redo the entire middle to make it more compliant with the third movie, but I did it.

Also, it stands out because my normal writing style for OCs is to describe them from the outside-in: you’ll notice that all of my video game fic is from the POV of the canon LI.  Cullen and Evelyn, Deacon and Whisper, Mac and Sole… it’s easiest for me to construct a character from their actions, rather than their feelings, but this was all Bree’s point of view.  So that’s a big thing for me, something I hadn’t much done before.

6: Any goals for 2018?

I have two bigs WIPs that I really, desperately want to finish: Cry Havoc, and everybody’s pickin’ up on that feline beat.  I think I’ve only got another few chapters left on Cry Havoc, and feline beat is halfway through its last chapter, and looking at maybe…  a dozen more scenes?  Ish?  Totally doable, assuming I don’t get distracted by other stuff like I usually do.  A stretch goal would be to finish The Narrow Way, but that chapter is like… three disconnected scenes with no beginning or ending, so that’s a considerably bigger challenge.

7: Tag some people.

I don’t really do individual tags, generally speaking, but you!  Person who is reading this who wrote something in 2017!  Consider yourself tagged!