#the addiction seemed so false to me
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My issue with Willows arc in season 6 being framed as her use of magic was an addiction and not a quest for power all along is that it fundamentally ignores what made Willow start to actively use magic in the first place, and that was her feeling helpless.
It’s shown throughout s1 and s2 that Willow is incredibly smart, she’s shown as being relied on, trusted, and respected by the smart and accomplished adults surrounding her; Giles, Jenny and Angel which clearly means a lot to her and feeds the growing ego she undoubtedly has. Feeling smart and respected helps build up Willow's confidence in season two, you can see it in the way she can now not only hold a conversation with someone like Cordelia, but can also speak firmly to her like a teacher (The Dark Age).
Up until Becoming Part 1, we only ever see Willow use knowledge to help her friends, she learns quickly and finds it very easy to adapt what she knows the best way to help save the day, but it's not until Willow and Buffy find the floppy disk that Willow reveals she has been actively learning about magic, and she believes she has the ability to use it. This is not easy magic, in fact it has been lost for generations, and Willow clearly feels a lot of pride in her ability to do a spell that would help her best friend, and impress Giles who she looks up to.
Except it all goes wrong. Willow learning all that magic, having all those brains don't really mean anything when Drusilla and her henchmen attack. Having a Slayer and a Watcher there didn't mean anything. Willow didn't get to use her spell, and almost died because she became cornered and couldn't fight the vampire off on her own. Now I believe that at the point when Willow wakes up and is determined to complete the spell (in spite of Buffy telling her not to worry about it, but that's another topic for another day), she genuinely wants to help, but I agree with Giles as well. Completing that spell, especially after being so incredibly helpless against a vampire, opened a door that Willow couldn't close. Power was the only way to avoid feeling that helpless again.
You see this further develop in season 3. Willow is now able to actively help on patrol with Buffy and Faith (The Zeppo), she no longer needs to feel helpless against a vampire, which gives her the confidence to both read and steal (parts of) The Books of Ascension and tells Faith what she really thinks of her (Choices). When Willow begins to feel helpless in Graduation Day Part 1, she immediately decides to find a spell to stop The Mayor. At this point Willow is relying on Magic in a way that entirely feels like a perfect mix of wanting to help, and needing the ability to feel more powerful than the bad guys.
In season 4 Willow again turns to magic again and again when she feels helpless (Fear, Itself. Wild at Heart, Something Blue, Hush) with nearly all examples going wrong in some way, which in turn seem to make her even more determined to master magic and bring it under her control, no matter what anyone who cares about her says (Oz, Buffy, Giles).
In season 5 we immediately see an example of Willow using magic in a way that she doesn't need to - when she creates a fire for Xander on the beach in Buffy vs Dracula, but for the most part in this season (apart from Triangle), Willow has a much calmer use of magic, and I do think that this is because of Tara's influence. Tara grounds her, and helps her learn a lot more slowly, gives her abilities time to breathe and grow.
But then Tara gets hurt by Glory, and Willow immediatly turns to magic to hurt Glory back, and Willow actually succeeds for a time. Glory overpowers her, and Buffy has to save her, and Tara is still gone. Willow is helpless again. It's not until everyone starts falling apart around her, especially Buffy, that Willow finds her control and uses her magic flawlessly to both bring Buffy out of her catatonic state, and bring Tara back from what Glory did to her... but Buffy still dies.
Willow is helpless again. Willow turns to magic again.
I personally grew up with an addict, so I can see in season 6 where they were going with the storyline, but from the moment Willow decided that she would do the spell that would bring Buffy back from the dead it was clear it was all about her being able to complete a spell that no one else could do, and yes, no longer feeling helpless. Willow was now the defacto leader - as voted for by her friends, and for all her power, Willow couldn't take that responsibility. She wanted to be powerful enough to bring her friend back, but not take the responsibilty that came with it, and turning all that development into an addiction fell incredibly flat, especially with how they treated the ‘addiction’ in season seven.
After all Willow’s trauma and development, a shy and downtrodden brainiac with an unrequited crush, turned all powerful witch who can successfully support The Slayer and lead her group of Scoobies and you’re going to take all that power from her and make her an addict with no self control? Who was consciously and unconsciously making decisions to meddle with powers she knew were incredibly dangerous since season two?? Come on.
#my thoughts#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#willow rosenberg#I love willow but this storyline was… ugh#she was an all powerful witch who fucked around and couldn’t handle it#the addiction seemed so false to me
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TW for discussion of rape and sexual abuse
can't believe i'm getting involved in fucking hazbin hotel drama of all things but this is making me so fucking angry. this is what someone has said about the song 'poison' where angel dust explains his unhealthy relationship with his abuser and oh my god. when people (rightfully or otherwise) hate a show this badly their media literacy and critical thinking skills go out the fucking window. who fucking says this? why are you speaking on behalf of everyone who has gone through the same things as angel? why are you the fucking spokesperson for us? why are you so special? can you not hear the way you're talking? how arrogant and entitled and fucking out of touch you sound? i don't talk about this anywhere but i have been through EVERYTHING angel has been through. i have experienced heavy drug addiction and rape and sexual abuse. you don't fucking speak for me. it sounds so insanely cringe but angel is one of the first characters i have seen react to his situation EXACTLY as i did. i DID sexualise and romanticise my circumstances. i DID lean into the lifestyle. but the whole point of angel's character, a point which angel himself explicitly states in this same episode, is that he KNOWS this is all an act. he's using sex as a form of self harm and weaponising his sexuality in order to help himself dissociate from his life and his own body because he's deeply miserable. the person who made this tweet does say one thing in their thread that is correct: angel IS acting like he's having a fun time and he IS acting like he wants this. if you think this is sexualising and romanticising his abuse, then congratulations, you fell for his act just like everyone around me did when i went through the same thing. you wanted him to be anxious and quiet and trembling and crying in the corner, cowering before his abuser and refusing to talk about it. do abuse victims have to react to their abuse the way YOU see fit, otherwise they aren't valid? did you watch the scene directly before this song, where angel's abuser hits him and throws him across the room in a scene designed to make the viewer viscerally uncomfortable and just as scared of angel's abuser as he is? did you watch the scene that follows, when angel breaks down and explains that he's deliberately indulging in this lifestyle in order to damage his body to the point where his abuser will no longer see value in it and leave him alone? i would bet all my money that you didn't, because half the people criticising this haven't even watched the show but think they're qualified to make entire threads deliberately misinterpreting it purely because they're already decided they hate hazbin. and look. you can hate hazbin. in fact i completely understand why someone would, for a number of reasons. there's a mountain of things i dislike about it too. but to talk about a topic this sensitive and heavy when you haven't even fully watched the source material you're criticising? you're not only making yourself look like a misinformed entitled prick, but you're speaking over and judging every single person who DOES relate to angel's story, because yes, believe it or not, other people are allowed to experience things differently to you. and whether you're willing to get off your moral high horse and deem them worthy of value and representation or not, you cannot change that. if you want to criticise this show pick one of the million valid points of contention, rather than acting like you're smarter than everyone else and get to speak on behalf of an entire group of people
#i have no idea why this is making me so fucking angry i think it's because i relate to this so fucking hard#guess what some victims are hypersexual and loud and confident and dramatic#and guess what. sometimes they're doing that ON PURPOSE. and sometimes it DOES seem like they're enjoying it#it's almost like that's the fucking point#i will also say that angel's behaviour is VERY akin to BPD / NPD especially in relation to his abuse / addiction etc#like the way he puts on a false personality to pretend he's above it all and he doesn't care to stop himself getting hurt#but these cunts hate people with BPD / NPD too half the time so i'm not surprised by that either#tw: rape#tw: sa#tw: addiction#ask to tag
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✧:・゚ Stray Kids react → you declaring yourself to them ˚₊· ꒰🌿꒱
꒰ 命 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ꒱┊ members' reaction when you declare yourself to them.
꒰ 命 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ꒱┊ot8¡ x non/idol!fem¡reader
꒰ 命 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 ꒱┊cute, comfort, friends to lovers.
꒰ 命 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ꒱┊none, just cute stray kids stuff.
꒰ 命 𝐖.𝐂 ꒱┊4,1k
꒰ 命 𝐀/𝐍 ꒱┊I'm really addicted to writing skz compilations ;) In some parts the reader is not an idol, I ended up getting excited and forgot about the plot haha remembering that English is not my first language! I apologize in advance if there are any spelling and/or grammatical errors. Enjoy reading - feedback is appreciated. ^-^
⊹₊˚ʚ❛masterlist❜ɞ
ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍 ... 𖥔
・✦ You became trainees at the same time and that's when you met and got closer.
・✦ He would sneak food in for you, given the strict diet the company forced you to follow, and you couldn't be more grateful to him.
・✦ the care and zeal he has for you captivated you and strengthened your relationship even after both of your debuts.
・✦ You debuted solo and he couldn't be more proud, always supporting you even when he was busy with the group's busy schedule.
・✦ Some time after your great success as a solo artist, some acquaintances from high school attacked you on social media, creating a situation claiming that you were bullying some of them.
・✦ You got really upset with all the hate and false claims and it all got worse when the company forced you to go on hiatus.
・✦ Chan, being the cutest and most understanding person you knew, was by your side comforting you and whispering comforting words in your ear while wrapping you in a hug.
・✦ Perhaps because of the heat of the moment or adrenaline, you unconsciously let out the three most comforting and perhaps feared words for many people.
・✦ He was in shock for a few seconds and his breathing hitched when he felt the caress he was giving his head stop.
・✦ He pushed you away and looked into your eyes to see if he had heard correctly, still in disbelief about the words he had previously said and even more shocked about his future ones.
・✦ "I have always loved you. I can't hide my feelings that I have felt for so long. You have always been by my side and I never had the opportunity to be clear with you, so… thank you. For supporting me and for everything you've done for me in general."
・✦ After his sincerity it was her turn to be shocked when she felt his soft lips join hers.
・✦ he loved you too.
❪ ε ї з ❫
ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 ... 𖥔
・✦ You are childhood best friends where you have established an intimate and somewhat fun relationship. You have always teased each other a little but clearly with affection - even if it doesn't seem like it.
・✦ You debuted a year after him, following him closely and both supporting each other in moments of so much pressure.
・✦ It all happened when you were backstage at the first Stray Kids awards. You were in the front row to see up close the achievement of the boys who were still so young and evolving so quickly.
・✦ When it was all over, you didn't even wait for him to move away from the boys to jump into his arms. He held you, a sweet laugh escaping his lips at the feeling of ecstasy and happiness.
・✦ you hugged him tightly and pulled away, looking at him with a sincere smile and a loving sparkle in your eyes, your heart almost jumping out of your chest with pride.
・✦ "I'm so proud of you I could kiss you!" He looked at you in shock, a playful smile on his lips. "What did you say?" "Minho, just-" he came dangerously close and whispered close to her face, his warm breath making her stomach feel strange. "You can."
・✦ Adrenaline took over you and before you knew it you were kissing your childhood best friend deeply and passionately.
・✦ You didn't know what your relationship would be like from now on, but you were sure it was worth a try.
❪ ε ї з ❫
ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐁𝐈𝐍 ... 𖥔
・✦ You met through your parents who had a professional partnership that sparked a friendship, consequently causing Changbin and you to get together.
・✦ You are two years younger than him, so when you both decided to become idols together, he ended up entering first - at your parents' request.
・✦ You were from different companies, but that didn't divide you, in fact it helped to avoid future possible rumors.
・✦ you would constantly visit each other in the dorms for movie nights or go out really late, going to the nearest convenience store to try different flavors of ramen while telling each other about their day.
・✦ you constantly helped each other with health issues, always asking each other about food and if they were keeping up with an exercise routine, where he convinced her to train with him and he wouldn't accept any other answer than yes.
・✦ But the time you enjoyed spending together the most was during your free time, when you could visit your parents together.
・✦ On one of those occasions, you were responsible for taking care of your younger sister while your parents were away and he accepted the task along with you.
・✦ She is small but very energetic, so it was a somewhat complicated task. Changbin had a way with kids, so he had some super cute moments with her, making you wonder if your sister liked you or him more.
・✦ You were cutting fruit on the kitchen counter while watching Changbin play with the girl.
・✦ Smiling, you take the bowls of fruit into the living room as you sit down next to them. You let out a laugh when you see your sister snort at having to move away from Changbin to eat.
・✦ "You have a way with kids. I think you'll be a good father." You whisper softly next to Changbin, who almost choked on the comment. He looks at you perplexed with an unconscious smile on his face.
・✦ "do you think? I mean, I really like kids, so…" He looks dreamily at his sister and you can't ignore the butterflies in your stomach that insist on appearing whenever you're around him.
・✦ "I'm sure your future wife will be very lucky. You are handsome, affectionate, intelligent, funny... I bet she'll love it so much." You laugh, biting into your fruit, not realizing the effect you had on Changbin.
・✦ "What- what did you say?" You're both silent for a while as you ponder your response. Sighing, you slowly observe his reaction, "Honestly?... I would like to be that future wife. I like you, Changbin. I don't think I was lying when I said I would love you very much." He coughs, choking on a piece of apple. You despair, helping him to choke. With wide eyes in surprise, he holds your shoulders and looks you straight in the eyes.
・✦ "You're kidding, aren't you?"
・✦ "... No, I'm not, Changbin. I really like you." He leaned over and wrapped her in a hug, his sister just staring blankly.
・✦ He also dreams of having children with you.
❪ ε ї з ❫
ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐍 ... 𖥔
・✦ you meet when you bump into each other at a cafe near his company.
・✦ He had just debuted as an idol, so he wasn't that well-known on the street yet, but you recognized him.
・✦ You were the first person who recognized him and he was very happy that the first fan who recognized him was a girl as beautiful as you.
・✦ It turned out that you often showed up at this cafe to study to get into college and he ended up becoming friends with you.
・✦ he felt like you were an angel sent by destiny to be his lifeline, supporting him in everything he did and always giving the best advice for his own good, as well as being present in both the happiest and most difficult moments of his life.
・✦ he didn't know how to express his enormous gratitude, so he just reciprocated the actions by being with you in the time of pressure before and during college, celebrating your entry with you and always taking you out to distract your mind whenever he could.
・✦ and things changed between you during one of these walks. There was a flower festival that happened once a year that you were extremely excited to go to. You planned the trip for weeks and he couldn't say no.
・✦ The festival went on from afternoon to night, so you were able to watch the sunset together amidst the lilies he insisted on giving you as a gift.
・✦ you rested your head on his shoulder as you sat on a wooden bench in a place that allowed a beautiful view of the horizon.
・✦ "I wish time would stop right here, I wish I could stay with you like this forever." Hyunjin felt his ears heat up, petting his hair in response. "Me too. It was an amazing day, yes."
・✦ you stared at him deeply and he looked back, trying to read your expression. Immersed in desire and passion, you hold the back of his neck, leaning in for a soft kiss, your lips barely touching as you touch him.
・✦ perplexed, he widened his eyes, still a little scared, but returning the kiss in a more intense way, his hands unconsciously going towards her waist.
・✦ pulling away with your lips parted from the lack of air, you rest your forehead against his, a happy laugh leaving your lips.
・✦ "I'm glad you didn't push me" Still a little disoriented, Hyunjin laughs at your silly comment, longing for more of your lips on his.
・✦ "never." He leans in again, captivating her lips affectionately.
❪ ε ї з ❫
ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆 ... 𖥔
・✦ the way they met was actually a bit chaotic. You were running through the company's corridors, late again for another rehearsal, when you bumped into Jisung, spilling the coffee he had in his hands all over herself.
・✦ He became desperate, apologizing as if it was all his fault for not looking forward. In the midst of despair, you could only laugh and without understanding anything he accompanied you laughing, even though he had a desperate look on his face, thinking you wanted to kill him.
・✦ The following week he came to you with a new sweatshirt in hand and you were enchanted by how sweet and thoughtful he was. In return, you bought the coffee that spilled from his hands with a cute note apologizing and thanking him for the sweatshirt.
・✦ After that, your friendship began with the ritual of buying each other coffee with a cute note asking about their day or a motivational phrase.
・✦ During a Stray Kids performance, you were in the front row happily cheering for the group's next achievement. When the performance was over, you gave them a standing ovation and didn't miss the wink Jisung threw your way, making you smile.
・✦ Three days later you were surprised when the media linked Jisung to you, making thousands of theories about both of you being together. You were heavily criticized and received a lot of hate from people who claimed to be "stays", causing you to step away for a short period of time.
・✦ a week later, Jisung was in front of your apartment and when you realized it you were already crying in his arms on the couch in your apartment.
・✦ he kisses the top of your head, speaking comforting words into your ear. You sighed tiredly, stood up and wiped your tears, staring at him for a few seconds before speaking.
・✦ "... I just don't understand." Her voice was almost a whisper and he listened intently to every word that came out of her mouth. "Would it be so bad if we were dating? What have I done to these people?" You bring your hands to your eyes, sobbing once more. He wraps his arms around her again, resting his chin on her head.
・✦ "They don't understand. And don't worry, it's not like we have anything to hide."
・✦ "what if we did?" You whispered, your words hanging in the air as he made a confused face. "What do you mean?"
・✦ "Would it be so bad if we were in a relationship? What if I wanted that?" You gather your courage and face him defiantly.
・✦ "... what-"
・✦ "I like you, Jisung. I don't care what anyone says, what bothers me is that you're so oblivious to it. I want you. I need you."
・✦ He looks at her scared, immersed in his thoughts. It doesn’t last long until he smiles and leans in to kiss you deeply, wanting this for so long his bones could ache.
・✦ He didn't see a problem with that either.
❪ ε ї з ❫
ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐗 ... 𖥔
・✦ You were the first person to greet him at school when he moved to Korea.
・✦ He was in a confusing phase for himself, still discovering his passions and talents and you were the only one who understood him and waited for him in his time, always being by his side in difficulties.
・✦ People compared you to a ray of sunshine, but for him, you were the light that provided a way out in his darkest moments.
・✦ As time went by, he debuted as an idol and you followed the career you wanted, becoming an interior designer specializing in landscaping.
・✦ You loved everything related to nature and he was no different, loving to travel to places with the best views, always remembering you in the most memorable memories for him.
・✦ During the boys' comeback, Felix was working hard day and night, always bringing out the best in his performances and never letting anything down.
・✦ one of his shows was cancelled due to problems at the venue where they were going to perform and after weeks of tiredness he would finally have at least one day off.
・✦ Taking advantage of the opportunity, you invited him to go to the beach, since you both loved it and hadn't gone out for a long time due to your busy schedule.
・✦ the ride was fun from start to finish and you were hyperventilating over little things like you sharing headphones during the car ride or how he was concerned about whether you were staying hydrated and wearing sunscreen.
・✦ After a whole day of playing in the water, you sat side by side to watch the sunset. Your shoulders were touching and you didn't miss the way your hands were so close, yet still untouchable.
・✦ you watched as the bright orange hue reflected off the blond strands of Felix's hair, looking peaceful as if the breeze took away all his worries and tensions.
・✦ "You're beautiful." His voice came out as a whisper and you knew you couldn't stop talking from now on, "I feel more relaxed when I'm with you. I don't think I need to come to the beach all the time if I already have my daily ray of sunshine."
・✦ Felix looks at her with a genuine smile and you could see the affection through his irises. "Thank you for bringing me here, Y/n. Thank you for everything really." With a smile you slowly lean in and Felix could only close his eyes. Gently your lips connected and you could still feel the mixture of your sweet lips with the salty sea water. He still a little hesitantly holds her waist, bringing her almost impossibly closer.
・✦ moving away but still close to his face, you spoke softly, like a secret now revealed, "I love you. I always have. I'm in love with you and I'm sure it's because you're the easiest person to love."
・✦ Surprised and excited, Felix places a kiss on her cheek and then rests his head on her shoulder.
・✦ "It would be impossible for me not to reciprocate the feelings."
❪ ε ї з ❫
ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 ... 𖥔
・✦ the way they met was too cute and Seungmin would never confess - even if you commented on it.
・✦ Even in his pre-debut, Seungmin has always been the schematic and methodical type. He had a routine of going to the gym three times a week at a specific time and, coincidentally, he passed by the same square where you used to sit to read a book.
・✦ At first he just ignored you there, but after strangely noticing your long hair, or the cute way you wrinkled your nose when you read something that caught his attention, or when he randomly closed the book to "absorb" what was written there, he thought that maybe it would be interesting to know more about you.
・✦ He was never the intellectual reading type, but he thought that to impress a female reader, it would be good to have a little literary knowledge. When buying a book in a bookstore near the square, he discovered that his parents owned the establishment, and he was overcome with excitement.
・✦ He started to constantly visit the place to see you and in the end it was you who started talking to him and that's where your friendship began.
・✦ Even after his debut you remained firm and strong by his side, even though he couldn't often attend your little reading sessions where you read in silence just enjoying each other's company.
・✦ Over time, Stray Kids became increasingly popular, not only in Korea, but in many places around the world. That said, the group's first world tour was approaching and everyone was nervous. Seungmin became more and more distant as the week progressed as it was time to prepare for his world debut.
・✦ the day before the trip, you showed up at the door of his and the boys' dorm, sending a message as soon as you got there. He replied a few minutes later, saying he would be late at the company.
・✦ You were very frustrated because you didn't know if you would be able to say goodbye to him, since six months away without being able to see Seungmin was a long time for both of you. You leave the book you were going to give Seungmin as a gift at the dorm door, leaving immediately.
・✦ a little after midnight, you hear your phone vibrate on the nightstand, seungmin’s name flashing on the screen. You answer, completely concerned as to why he's calling so late.
・✦ He asks you to answer the door and without further contradiction you practically run to open the door.
・✦ Still sleepy, you almost fall with the impact of the hug that Seungmin gives you. He wraps his arms around you in an almost desperate way, wishing he couldn't let go of you anymore.
・✦ “Is it true? Did you really mean that?”
・✦ completely confused, your mind seems to want to play a trick on you, making you forget the moment that happened earlier, where you left the book with a dedication to Seungmin inside.
・✦ he breaks the hug, showing the book that had been in his hands all this time. 'Welcome to Hyunam-dong Bookstore' was no longer in its original gift packaging, a yellow post-it was stuck to the inside of the cover, which said: “I hope you enjoy this reading as much as I enjoyed the moments I had with you. I love you, I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy you.”
・✦ your eyes widened in utter surprise. You thought you might not be able to say goodbye to him in person, So he wrote this note in the heat of the moment, almost afraid that this trip might separate you two.
・✦ “Minnie… I’m sorry. This may sound wrong, but… I really like you. Ever since I met you… s-since forever, I think…”
・✦ His words are a bit disjointed and low, but the only reaction Seungmin had was to gently hold his face and do what he had always wanted since that day in the square: kiss her without guilt or resentment.
❪ ε ї з ❫
ᥫ᭡ ˖ 𖥔 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍 ... 𖥔
・✦ JYP was not an unfamiliar environment for you. Your older sister, a third-generation K-pop idol, often invited you to watch her train.
・✦ The JYP halls were a familiar environment for you and this gave you the opportunity to meet many famous people. And Jeongin was one of them.
・✦ At first, you would just exchange a few nods or a quick “good morning.” However, one day when you had to wait patiently for your sister in the cafeteria area, Jeongin saw you sitting alone.
・✦ He was surprised at himself, since he had promised himself not to make friends during his trainee days, due to the fact that people came and went easily. But you had a different aura to him.
・✦ time passed, he debuted and you stayed with him. Jeongin didn't regret talking to you that day, because from then on you were the one who supported him through the most difficult moments during the beginning of his career.
・✦ You saw Jeongin as an escape from all the problems of your day to day life. No matter the situation, just seeing his face, with that cute dimpled smile, the tension in your body would go away.
・✦ Spending time with him was comfortable and became incredibly familiar. You became an important part of Jeongin's life, and vice versa. The boys were happy to know that there was someone to brighten their youngest member's darkest days.
・✦ After a few years of friendship, the Stray Kids dorm had become an almost routine environment for you. One Friday, Jeongin invited you to join the boys' movie night.
・✦ You quickly got ready, stopping by the convenience store before walking to the dorms since it wasn't that far from your house.
・✦ you felt your cell phone vibrate as you walked down the sidewalk with some very full bags in your hand. You tried to get the cell phone out of your pocket, However, because of the piled up bags, he ended up falling on the sidewalk.
・✦ Without thinking twice, you quickly bent down to pick it up, not noticing the electric bike that was quickly coming towards you. It all happened so fast that you could say it was like a quick dream (or nightmare), like the kind you have when you take a short nap.
・✦ you were thrown away and the bike ended up running over your ankle, dislocating it. You ended up passing out from the pain on your way to the hospital, in the ambulance that the cyclist called to help you.
・✦ You woke up a few hours later, the light reflecting off the white walls of the hospital room hitting your eyes hard, making you squint.
・✦ you felt soft threads near your hand, and as soon as you regained some consciousness, you realized that Jeongin was lying next to you in a completely uncomfortable position. It didn't take him long to wake up, looking a little desperate as he did so.
・✦ “thank god! I- I thought… Y/n…”
・✦ Jeongin's eyes filled with tears and the words were a little stuck in his throat. “If I hadn't called you at that time, none of this would have happened... a man ended up answering his phone and told me what had happened. Forgive me, S/n.”
・✦ his words were still a little distorted because of the effect of the drug, where you were barely assimilating what was happening.
・✦ With a smile, you wipe Jeongin's tears gently. “I was so scared… scared of losing you. It could have happened because of a bike, but it could have been worse-”
・✦ “Don't do that. If you keep crying because of me, it'll make me fall in love with you even more.”
・✦ Jeongin was paralyzed by his slurred, barely audible words. He whispered a “what?” under his breath, his heart racing with even more disconcerting thoughts.
・✦ He stayed in the same position for a few seconds, long enough to make you fall back asleep. He kissed your forehead affectionately as he pulled away..
・✦ “I hope you remember your words when you wake up.”
#stray kids#skz x reader#skz x stay#hwang hyunjin#skz#kim seungmin#seungmin x reader#bangchan x reader#felix x reader#yang jeongin#hyunjinners#bang chan x reader#seo changbin x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader#seungmin#stray kids reactions#stray kids x you#stray kids x reader#stray kids seungmin#stray kids hyunjin#seungmin stray kids#stray kids fanfic#stray kids fluff#stray kids headcanons#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#stray kids fanfiction#skz imagines#skz fluff#skz fanfic
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᭄⁑ txt as yanderes | thoughts
warnings: yandere, noncon, baby trapping, mention of knife play, slapping, perversion, not proofread
yandere!jjun is the type to be too sweet, sickly sweet. like barfed cupcakes and sprinkles, he pretends to care, he love bombs, he kisses you like he truly loves you, like there’s no one else but you and maybe its true, maybe there is no one else but you in his eyes. but its not romantic. not when he has blood on his hands, figuratively or literally, he’s responsible for innocents lost.
“i didn’t lay a single hand on them, how many times do i have to tell you! doll, baby, believe me. please.” his voice cracks, like he’s about to cry. you scoff and turn your head to the side, disgusted, feeling like you could very much vomit right now.
“stop fucking calling me these—these words!”
yandere!jjun, the type to crumble to his knees and beg, holding onto your leg like an abandoned puppy despite having much more power than you, both in strength and status. lips trembling, eyes wide and crazed, full of pitiful tears, giving you a false reality, sense of hope that he isn’t that much more powerful than you could even imagine.
now yandere!soobin on the other hand is the type you don’t even realize is mentally out of it, not until you’re literally two years into a relationship with him with a stable history of 7+ year of friendship. he’s been jealous here and there, one instance of him breaking down over you having coffee with a male colleague that you had to craddle him, rocking back and forth as he sobs and hiccups— that keeps you up at night sometimes, but he’s so convincing you don’t even notice how often he manipulates and gaslights and manipulates. the way he slithers his long arms around your waist, pressing your bodies flush, holding you tight, whispering random “love you’s”, you almost completely forget. almost.
when yan!soobin’s fucking you senseless, lost in pleasure, tongue out dumb like the horndog he is, you manage to warn him again, “b-baby, not on—hah birth control”
don’t cum inside. don’t cum inside. you told him that before you got too into it, and he agreed, he promised he won’t. of course he won’t.
so why’s he shaking his head? why’s he refusing now? your eyes widen a little, trying to push him but he leans to kiss you, drowning out your protests, turning them to mere mewls. “baby—wanna—wanna make you have babies..”
the alarm bells ring again. and again. and suddenly you remember the few warnings from your friends, the offhanded comments about how he’s a little off, a little weird, that he seems obsessed.
“you won’t leave me when you have my babies, you can’t—” suckling on your nipples through your shirt as if to prove a point, he wets it completely, making it see through with his spit. you feel gross. you feel—“can’t leave me,” he says one last time, moans straining as he empties his load in you. a generous load.
yandere!beomgyu is my favorite in the most deranged way possible. he’s not too sweet, he’s not the meanest, and he isn’t the most pathetic, but he’s definitely the craziest. beomgyu would be the one to go as far as to lock you in his home, keep you chained, bondaged—he’s fucking insane. the type to be into knife play as well, he loves the switch in power dynamic. instead of the past bossy, in control at all times y/n and her pretty lanky best friend who’s probably “head over heels” for her, it’s you on your knees, cold hard wood, getting your throat brutally abused like his personal sex doll.
he loves finally being the one in control. he’s so addicted. sometimes it feels like he’s only inflicting his craziest perverted dreams on you, and you were just his nearest victim, but oh no, out of the five, he’s definitely the most ‘in love’.
“let me out…beomgyu…please.”
his back is pressed against the bedroom’s door, listening in to your sobs that barely transcend the sound proof walls. he sighs, frusteningly running a hand through his hair.
“why—why don’t you love me?”
and suddenly its silent on your part, the sobs not reaching his ears anymore. its enough to cause more cracks in his heart, making him undeniably more bitter but god forbid he gives up on it—on making you love him back, he’ll risk everything for it.
yandere!taehyun is the most cruel but he’d also be considered the least delusional and the most delusional at the same time. he knows you won’t love him back, he could care less (well…debatable actually), it’s about protecting you at the end of the day. that’s where the delusion comes in, he thinks he’s your white knight and you’re only acting out like you’ve always been. stubborn and hard headed. when it comes to the sex, this man has you at all times legs spread up, with your hand restricted, supplying your pussy like a free breed whore. other than the humiliating position, he makes sure you’re aware at all times of what you are to him.
his saliva and cum covering your body like filth, using you like a rag, truly. he’s the type to slap when you act out—a strike against your face, pussy, tits, he’d do it all. and yet he still wholeheartedly believes he’s protecting you from the world that “corrupted” you.
yandere!hyuka is beyond pathetic but you’ll never know because he doesn’t act on his desires. well, in the sense that he doesn’t scratch the eyes out of every one of your boyfriends and doesn’t have you tied to him at all times—he’s the pussy type. in the dark, following, each and every step. that was the beginning. then it was jerking off on your balcony peeking between the blinds as he watches you undress. then it was stealing panties, sniffing, licking, as his hands go manic on his poor dick—it hurts, it’s dry but he keeps going, because he is so fucking addicted he doesnt wanna stop. whining n’ squeaking as he lets out your name out of his mouth over and over and over again.
your scent when he hugs you drives him mad, when you kiss his cheeks he embarrassingly spots a boner, he’s just pathetic with horrible horrible dirty thoughts in his head.
#txt smut#yandere smut#beomgyu smut#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#yeonjun smut#hueningkai smut#soobin smut#taehyun smut#🌷. rana thoughts
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── ୨୧ ! 𝗖𝗔𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗠𝗘?
𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader
SUMMARY: Where Y/N is a worldwide famous singer, but her favorite thing in the world is hearing Chris singing just for her.
WARNING: None.
REQUESTED?: No.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
༻✦༺ ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
When you are a world-famous singer who performs at least once a month, tours every year, models, acts, does interviews, is looked at everywhere by papparazzi and scouts, has articles published about you - often with false information -, it was safe to say that Y/N needed a place to rest, and hers was next to Chris.
Her resting with him was many things: spending hours marathoning mindless movies on the couch wrapped in a fluffy blanket and her boyfriend's arms, or when she could lay on Chris's lap and sink into a new book; sometimes it was when her house shared with the triplets smelled like her favorite cake, or when she spent the day making a new DIY that she found on tiktok...
Y/N was a girl with simple tastes, she didn't need much to be impressed, just a few minutes next to Chris were enough for her to feel like the luckiest girl in the world and finally be able to relax her body completely, getting rid of the adrenaline of having a life as an artist.
Don't get me wrong, Y/N loved her profession, since she was little her biggest dream was to be able to perform in front of a crowd and show her talent, and her fans provided that for her; seeing a sea of people in front of her singing along to a song she composed made her see stars, the adrenaline that coursed through her veins when she picked up her pink microphone and could walk, dance, run and jump around the stage freely while singing the lyrics that referred to important moments in her life was incredible.
But nothing compared to waking up next to Chris in the morning and finding the sleepy face she loved so much along with his husky morning voice, or cooking homemade food for them and receiving a hug from behind that was always accompanied by "I love you so much". No moment in front of interviewers with overpriced magazines compared to when Chris won a round of one of his video games and got up from his chair with an excited scream, running over to where Y/N was and showering her with kisses.
Don't even remind me of the thousands of butterflies that flew together in Y/N's stomach when Chris wrote one of his love letters to her, delivering it along with several sweets and chocolates that she was addicted to - a weekly event in their lives.
Y/N's professional life was hectic and tiring, when she wasn't on a plane going from one country to another, she was in a studio recording a new song, or on a famous program answering very controversial questions.
So, when her busy day's were over and she could simply be Y/N, she would go straight into Chris's arms, where she knew she would receive comfort and security.
And that's exactly what she did today. After a turbulent day in the studio recording her new songs, making wrong high notes and having to redo them, crossing out written verses and rewriting them, the girl just wanted to get home and dive into her boyfriend's arms.
Y/N slowly closed the door to her shared room with Chris, her eyes wandering to the low lights and the almost imperceptible sound coming from the television, which was turned on in a random series.
Chris was already in bed dressed in his pajamas, the fluffy gray blanket covering his body up to his shoulders. He had his eyes almost closed from the intense tiredness, but he seemed to fight against it.
That was another thing that Y/N loved about Chris, regardless of what time she came home, he would always be waiting for her awake - more or less.
The girl walked with light steps to the nightstand on her side of the bed, taking the remote control and turning off the television, complete silence settling in the room.
"Hey, I didn't hear you coming." The brunette's sleepy voice caught Y/N's attention, who turned her face towards him, seeing him still lying in the same position, but with his blue eyes now very much open and looking at her. Probably having "woken up" due to the lack of the background sound.
"Hi my love, I just arrived. I'm just going to take a shower and come to bed with you." Y/N responded in a whisper.
"Okay." He said softly, looking at her from below with doe eyes.
Y/N leaned over the bed momentarily, sealing her lips over Chris' soft ones for a few seconds before getting up again and walking to the bathroom.
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
Y/N opened the bathroom door, the steam from the hot shower escaping momentarily as she crossed to the bedroom, already in her pajamas, before closing it again.
She walked slowly to the bed, seeing Chris lying on his side and holding his phone with one of his hands, looking more awake than before - or trying to -, the screen brightness turned to a minimum as his thumb scrolled through his Instagram feed.
Chris lifted his head slightly when he heard her approaching, a lazy smile stretching across his face as he stretched slowly, locking the screen of his phone and briefly placing it on top of his bedside table. He opened his arms, waiting for his girlfriend to lay there.
Y/N returned the smile, lifting the gray blanket and laying down on her side of the bed, snuggling in before burying herself in Chris's arms. She ran her nose down his neck, breathing in the fresh scent of soap on his skin, caressing the sensitive spot with her lips.
His hands circled her shoulders, a sigh of pleasure escaping his lips at the comfort that the warmth post-bath of Y/N's body provided. The girl lifted her left hand, running it through Chris' hair, brushing his bangs out of his eyes.
"How was your day?" Chris asked softly a few seconds later, his blue eyes taking in his girl's tired features.
The deep sigh that escaped her mouth was answer enough for him: tiring.
"Did you eat anything? Are you hungry?" He continued, lifting his right hand - which was previously on Y/N's waist - and taking her left hand from his own hair, bringing it to his lips and sealing the soft skin for a few seconds, keeping his attention on her face.
"I had lunch, honey, I'm not hungry." She replied, a tired smile appearing on her lips at his affectionate gesture.
"Don't you want me to get you a snack? Lunch was many hours ago, kitten." Chris intertwined their fingers, only receiving a shake of her head.
"Can you sing f'me?" Y/N asked in a low, weak tone, her words barely noticeable.
A goofy smile grew on Chris's face, his eyes shining with excitement and love. He adored it when his singer girlfriend asked him to sing for her, it seemed too ironic to be true, but that was exactly what Y/N adored most.
"What do you want today? Rap, pop or rock?" He teased, a soft chuckle escaping Y/N's lips as she rolled her eyes, intertwining their legs together and scooting closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder, placing a little kiss on the region.
"Anything is fine, I just want to hear you sing." She asked, eager to listen her boy's soft voice against her ear.
"Y/N baby, I dedicate this one for you." He joked, a smile on his voice before he started to sing a song that he knew that was one of his girl's favorite. "Stay bugging out, days on end..." Chris began slowly, resting his chin on his girlfriend's head, his voice now sounding hoarse and low, intensifying Y/N's drowsiness. "Days on end."
Her eyes began to flutter closed, her heartbeat calming down as the weight of her shoulders seemed to drain down her body, her limbs relaxing completely.
"Play this often, don't take this shit too seriously." He continued gently, stroking Y/N's back in circles with his left hand, feeling the area lose its previous tension. "Know you get insecure, wish I had more wisdom for you..."
Y/N took a deep breath lightly, allowing her mind to drift off into the world of dreams, Chris's voice becoming muffled and almost null against her ears, but her brain seemed to still register it, using it as a personal tranquilizer.
"Sleep, babe." Chris whispered after singing some more lines, noticing her closed eyes and slightly open mouth.
He pressed his lips to the top of his girlfriend's head, before snuggling closer against her body, allowing himself to sleep, Y/N's slow breathing serving as his favorite lullaby.
#x reader#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#sturniolo#love#imagine#sturniolo triplets#youtube#florida#dominic fike#song#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo fic#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#christopher owen sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#x famous reader#singer!reader#oneshot#fluff#days on end#sleepy#chris x reader#chris fanfic#chris au
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your false god
cw: 18+, drunk s3x, afab!venti + dom reader, heavy breeding k1nk, mentioned g4ngbang fantasy, babytrapping by venti, highly indulgent and ooc, (i love boypussy)
after one too many drinks at the angel’s share, you and you drinking buddy, venti, end up in a nearby hotel. you’re feverishly kissing his lips, warm and still tasting like dandelions. tongues clashing and heavy breathing, you push him down onto the mattress.
undressing his top half, you relish in the milky skin, tinged with a drunken flush. you admire the constellations of freckles on his narrow shoulders that you’ve never had the pleasure of seeing before. his slender body fit right in your hands: a slim waist perfect for holding paired with smooth skin that was addicting to caress.
your eyes traveled up from his slightly toned navel to his chest, where sat perfectly pink nubs just begging to be pulled on. so you indulged yourself. you pinched his nipples, tugging them harshly as high-pitched moans sung to you.
impatient, you pulled his shorts down. leaving only his tights left. the white fabric was skintight on his thick thighs, which were normally hidden by the puffy bloomers he always wore.
you wrapped your hands around his upper legs and massaged him through his tights, thumbs rubbing his inner thighs in circular motions, drawing sensual whimpers from him. your touch was so close to where he needed you most, yet he could hardly get a word in; your touches were driving him crazy. his thin leggings were soon drenched where they covered his cunt, and you pulled them higher up to see his arousal through the fabric. he moaned at the slight friction of the cotton wedged between his folds. the white fabric, now translucent thanks to his slick, revealed everything. you pressed two fingers flat against his core and felt his heartbeat there, causing him to spread his legs wider. what a whore.
archons, you didn’t know when you would ever get enough of venti. you finally pulled down his stockings, revealing a slick pussy and a clit pink and shiny with arousal. his pussy lips looked so soft and inviting, you couldn’t help but imagine how wet and warm his insides would be when you finally gave the bard your hot cock.
you inserted two fingers past his puffy folds, causing him to twitch erratically. his legs attempted to lock around your shoulders, but you delivered a harsh slap to his inner thigh, forcing him to keep his legs spread.
"fine. you want it that badly? then take it."
you took your fingers out of him suddenly. but they were quickly replaced with your throbbing, leaking member. soon enough, you were thrusting into the man under you.
"y-yes! give me your cock! ahh ♡ give me your cum!"
"take it, take it, you slutty bard. you spread your legs like this every time you get wasted? for anyone?"
the gooey 'plap plap plap' of slick skin against slick skin filled the room. you relished in his debauched face and erotic moans as you abused his greedy hole. his whole body moved against the sweat-soaked mattress as you fucked in and out of him roughly with your hands gripping his full thighs (sure to leave finger-shaped marks), as if they would run away from you. you didn't take your eyes off him, admiring the way his hair escaped his usually neat braids and how his eyes rolled into the back of his head.
"fuck~ you're a real whore, aren't you? bet you would love being a cumdump for the whole of mondstadt. hah- you'd be the hole of mondstadt alright."
at your lewd remarks, he only got tighter around your cock, causing you to wince. this surprised you---you never took venti for a masochist. but you didn't yield; in fact, this only encouraged you to fuck him harder. his warm insides seemed to massage your member as you continued plunging deep into him. you were determined to make him yours tonight, to render his usually cocky attitude null. drool leaked from the corner of his mouth. he didn't even have the strength to keep his mouth closed anymore---looks like you fucked him good.
"archons- i'll make sure to knock you up. welcome my seed into your womb, okay?"
"hah- hah- yes! fill me up! get me pregnant! so everyone knows i'm yours... ♡ "
you smirked. you'd never seen this side of venti before, and you could stand to see more of it. fulfilling his request, you gave him a hard thrust, one that went as deep as possible, aiming to penetrate his womb. you felt the head of your cock kiss a spongy spot inside of him---his cervix. you abused the sensitive barrier repeatedly until it finally gave way to your cockhead. through his loud cries for you to fuck him until he was bearing your child he couldn't walk, you kissed him deeply. with your lips against his bitten ones, your tongues intertwined, and you reveled in the comfort of his hot mouth. finally, you had breached his womb. you ceased your mad thrusting and released your sperm inside, even with his gummy walls clamping down on you like they were unwilling to let go. the sudden flood of seed---your seed---made him whine in ecstasy. venti's vision went spotty for a moment, his mind overwhelmed, not only by your wild actions, but by the sheer bliss he felt. he had been waiting for this for too long, to be filled with you, to have your essence inside of him. you pressed slow, tortuous circles on his neglected clit, making the bard squirt clear liquid everywhere.
however, it was difficult to drain the immortal bard of his stamina.
through wet eyelashes and a dazed smile, he slurred, "how about another round? don't you want to make sure your cum really takes?"
and you, a gullible mortal under the spell of your manipulative beloved archon, believed that everything since the beginning of the affair was simple dirty talk. but what's done is done, and you gave him load after load until his irresistible body sucked you dry.
you thought he couldn't get pregnant? you thought he was just a one night stand?
gods are capable of anything. especially when there's a human unlucky enough to have caught their eye. they'll do anything to keep you by their side, even if it means altering their body and giving you a successor.
#genshin x gender neutral reader#hydroj1ns thirsts#genshin x male reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x male reader#venti x you#venti x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact smut#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact headcanons#genshin ftm reader#genshin bottom male reader#genshin impact x gender neutral reader#genshin smut#genshin x ftm reader#genshin imagines#genshin male reader
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Angel of Small Death
Theodore Nott x Fem!Reader
Mattheo Riddle x Fem!Reader
Summary: It’s Seventh Year and you’re one of the ones who stayed. Reeling from the loss of your family in the midst of the war, you find a twisted sense of comfort in Mattheo. But your best friend Theo can’t help but feel you’re slipping away from him in more ways than one.
Length: 1.8k
Warnings: Mature. Smut. Angst as with everything I write, not sorry. Deals with addiction to substances. Please dni if this subject is triggering to you. If you need help or resources please dm me. Second instalment from the amazing Hogmarch Challenge by @thatdammchickennugget will have a part two!
Everyone knew that Slytherin threw the best parties. Hufflepuff was a close second, sure. But nothing quite matched the opulence of a bunch of rich kids throwing their parents money around like it was pennies. Which was why half of Hogwarts was currently packed into the Common Room as water-stained lights rolled across the dance floor.
You wove your way into the gathered students, everyone’s bodies slick with sweat through the haze. You were drunk, but so was everyone. Maybe a little high too, these things couldn’t be helped. Mattheo was oddly generous when you got him rolling. It was exactly what you needed; something that made you feel like a foolish child again. You’d been dancing for the past hour, but now your buzz had reduced itself to a gentle hum. Which meant it was time to find Matt again; sweet talk him into giving you just a little more.
Already familiar with the path, you strayed through the crowd. Handing out distant smiles to some of the other students from your year as you floated past them. Utterly devoid of anything but firewhiskey, sweat, and whatever Mattheo had given you, the bass rattling through the Common Room.
“Back again, Darling?” Mattheo grinned absently as you neared. Sunken into the couch, blown out eyes lilted with thinly-veiled guilt.
It wasn’t his fault, what had happened. You told him so almost every evening, when the two of you would meet to smoke up in the Astronomy Tower. His eyes always heavy with those same questions of whether you blamed him for the actions of his Father. But it didn’t matter how many times you told him it wasn’t his fault, because you knew he didn’t believe it. Besides, it would be a lie if you pretended that you didn’t think of it all every time you met his eyes in a room. It hung between you, always.
Enzo watched you trail over, sinking into the velvet beside Matt. Twirling the stem of his wine glass between his fingers as he glanced nervously to his left. Theo was sat there, his eyes having latched onto you long before you’d exited the crowd and made your way over to the group. But you hadn’t looked at him once, you barely took anything in these days. He could’ve stood before you and you’d have looked right past him.
Distance. It was what made Enzo shuffle uncomfortably in his seat beside Theo now. Swinging his leg over his knee, covering his mouth with a falsely casual hand. Watching the tall, glowering boy beside him.
Theo was still watching you when you leant into Matt’s shoulder. Eyelashes fluttering as your eyes glazed over. Matt resting his head atop yours with equal heaviness. The two of you whispering lazily to one another.
Sometimes your lips would tug into a smile at something he said, but your eyes were never able to catch up in time. The sight made Theo want to shatter the glass he was holding, let it tear at the skin of his hands. Give him a reason to feel this way, as though he were truly bleeding out. His feelings staining his shirt, the carpet.
At least when it came to Matt, he seemed to have some level of restraint. Reserving the substances the two of you shared for weekends, evenings. But Theo had become increasingly aware of how far away you were now becoming, even during the days. Whether it was Matt’s guilt that allowed him to fuel your addictions, he wasn’t certain. All Theo knew was that everything about you had changed, and a part of him wanted to kill Matt for having any role in it at all.
You’d have come to him once. Sat atop his bed and talked for hours. Hands resting beside one another’s but never quite touching. But these days you didn’t seem in much of a mood for thinking, let alone talking. The only thing you were interested in was getting far away from everyone, save for Matt. The two of you were joint at the hip. And although he hated to admit it; Theo knew that he should’ve been more concerned with other things, but that was what hurt him the most.
You were his childhood friend, the one he had swapped sandwiches with. Who he had followed up trees and chased across beaches. Sat through countless invisible tea parties beside. Who he had always, unconditionally, loved. And it had all been forgotten. Traded for nights of stuffing your nose with powder and drowning your insides in liquor.
He didn’t want to even begin to think about whether what you and Matt now shared was strictly amiable. Though he had his suspicions. And every time Enzo looked over at him with resounding pity, Theo got the aching feeling that those inclinations were right.
He tried to tune in to the debate Blaise, Draco & Pansy were having about who could do the best impression of Harry’s parseltongue. The trio bursting into laughter as Pansy hissed in gibberish. But Theo’s ruse didn’t last long. Everyone’s breath going still as Matt stood from the couches, offering his hand out to you. The pair of you slinking through the crowd without so much as a goodbye.
The others awkwardly turned back to their conversations as you disappeared. Although it was clear everyone was feeling the burden, as though they were all walking atop cracked glass. Enzo let out a sigh as he lost sight of Matt’s curly hair up the dormitory stairs. Tired eyes slinking to Theo, who was stuck on the doorway where you and Matt had vanished.
Enzo twirled the stem of his wine glass again before placing it aside, put off. Noticing the way Theo’s fist clenched at the couch’s edge. It didn’t take long for him to make an excuse. Enzo’s eyes trailing after Theo as he made little attempt to hide his path towards where you had disappeared.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
Matt’s hands trailed the skin beneath the ribbons of fabric covering you. Greedy for more as he sat you atop his desk. Standing before you as he guided your knees apart gently. Eyes not vaguely tempted by your body, focused solely on taking you in; the way your lips parted as his fingertips trailed the inside of your thighs. Testing their limits as they trailed further, higher. As he threaded himself between your legs, pulling you flush against him. Tearing a gasp from both of you as your pretty little eyelashes fluttered. Head falling back as his other hand snaked up the back of your neck to guide his lips to yours once again.
He pushed against you softly, keeping the kiss delicate, careful. His hand trailing down from your neck to the underside of your jaw. The other circling the skin of your waist in intricate patterns. Holding you as though he feared you’d crack. You shuddered into his kiss, lips working against his softly. The antithesis to the fever that was sure to hit you both in a few minutes.
He pulled away an inch as you shook against him, rolling his hips lazily into yours. Satisfied when you let out another breathy gasp at the movement. He loved watching you like this, it seemed to mend something in him. As though if he brought you enough pleasure, it would somehow make up for all of the pain. Matt brought his forehead down to yours, absentmindedly swiping his thumb beneath your nose. Cleansing your skin of the white powder that sullied it.
“I just want to make you feel good again,” Matt breathed, ghosting his lips against yours in a broken whisper, “please say that I do.”
Your eyes blinked open, seeming to clear a little at his words, the rawness in his voice. You looked to the boy before you, saw yourself in the weight of his brow, the heavy set of his jaw. Saw the bruises of fear he carried.
“Matt,” you whispered, fingertips flying to soothe his skin. Draw him back into you and out of his head. “You make me feel better than anything.”
The words had barely left your lips before he crashed himself against you. Commanding fingers grasping at your jaw to make you as accessible to him as possible. Tilting your head back and sucking at your bottom lip with his teeth. His hips rolling against yours with calculated speed. Pressing himself flush against you as your skirt hiked up.
The sensation made you squirm, just as he knew it would. The hand he had situated on your hip clamping down firmly as he drew you back towards him. Leaving you no room to get away. Relishing in the way you lost all composure as he pressed himself against you again and again. It didn’t take long for him to make quick work of your underwear, or for your hands to find the buckle of his belt.
You were soaked by the time he pushed himself into you. Holding you tight to him as you cried out into his mouth. His hands already gently threaded into your hair with familiarity. Keeping you from falling back into the wall as he began to thrust into you. The gentle roll of his hips escalating as the powder hit your systems. His movements growing rougher as his control unravelled.
You buried yourself in his shoulder as he pushed himself deeper, the sensations becoming too much as you felt yourself losing your grip. His lips lazing against your cheek, trailing the skin with each thrust.
“You’re so good to me,” he breathed harshly into your ear, drawing you closer to the edge of the desk as he drew himself into you again and again. His hand tangled in your hair gently, comforting you as you reached your high with blistering intensity. “I’m sorry,” the words left him in a strained whisper as he continued his pace, offering you little relief as you felt yourself building up again.
But you knew his apology had nothing to do with his pace, the rough snap of his hips against yours. They only ever came when you were together in this way; completely at the mercy of the other. It was the only time he could let his guilt spill into you and know you would answer him truthfully. Your head too empty, body too spent to lie.
“I know,” you choked the words out as you shook again, your hands tangling in his hair as you felt him stuttering against you, “me too.”
Theodore shut the door quietly with a click, letting his back rest against it as he faced the empty corridor outside the dorm. A tightly wound breath leaving his chest in a huff as his bleak gaze permeated the wall in front of him. The sound of your heavy breath and moans barely audible beneath the door.
Theo sat, eyes drawn shut as he tried to wipe the image of you intertwined with his friend from his mind. Feeling flustered for having caught you both in such an intimate moment, and guilty that he wished it was him.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
Masterlist here
#gemwrites#theodore nott x reader#slytherin boys#theodore nott angst#theodore nott fic#theodore nott#theodore nott fanfiction#theodore nott imagine#theodore nott x y/n#theodore nott x you#theodore nott oneshot#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle smut#mattheo x you#mattheo smut#mattheo x y/n#hogmarch challenge#hogmarch#thatdamnchickennugget
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Mel and Viktor are both in an Oculorum
The prison the Black Rose have put Mel in is what "Kino" calls an Oculorum, where "According to legend, the ancients built specialized chambers to seal away false prophets." It's unclear whether this place is real and physical, but it certainly seems to be to Mel. It's built like a puzzle box that seems to probe Mel's innate abilities as a mage.
Note that these runes are like yet also unlike Hextech runes with long connected lines and hard angles, like Mel's Art Deco aesthetic, and like the prison itself and its walls.
In Zaun, something was bothering me about Viktor's home - until Jayce blew a hole in the top of the chamber, creating a spiraling tunnel of debris. So now there is a hole in the top of Viktor's chamber with a "tunnel," the same as there's a hole in the top of Mel's Oculorum:
The aesthetic of Viktor's chamber is opposite to Mel's. No squares or hard angles, only circles and fractal-like spirals, curving like Zaun and Viktor's Art Nouveau aesthetic.
But how do we know Viktor's chamber is an Oculorum, specifically? Vi and Jinx give us our biggest hint when they find the wall where their heights were marked as kids:
Which Vi and Caitlyn found in season 1 deep in the undercity, near the Shimmer addicts that Viktor later "cures":
Which was underneath a giant neon Eye of Zaun:
What does the word Oculorum mean?
"ocu" comes from the Latin "oculus," meaning "eye." "Oculorum" means something to the effect of "of the eye." Viktor's chamber stands right by where the Eye of Zaun stood.
Mel is imprisoned while Viktor appears free, but is also in effect trapped. Mel is "the child" the Black Rose was searching for, possibly with magical or even semi-divine heritage. Viktor is a regular man made into a magic user whose religious imagery was not what it appeared to be. Mel and Viktor are both magic users confined to a chamber meant to hold "false prophets."
#arcane#melvik#mel medarda#mel arcane#viktor#viktor arcane#spoilers#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#wake up friends mel and viktor are doing the crazy parallels thing again#act 2 made me feel like i took a bullet directly to the neocortex so it took me a while to properly focus#but baby we are so back#any time the high fantasy plot gets weird all you need to do is rotate mel and viktor in your mind and the pieces fall into place#i'm gnawing on the bars of my enclosure can anybody HEAR me
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skyward sword dash board simulator! only like three months late to this trend
🌅skychild
hey guys can someone remind me the wing ceremony is in like two hours. im just gonna take a quick nap
🟦bigbluebird Follow
link the wing ceremony is happening
🟦 bigbluebird
LINK THE WING CEREMONY
🗡️why-fi Follow
skyloft heritage post
🌅skychild
I made this two hours ago???
🌅skychild
SHIT THE WING CEREMONY
1,506 notes
🌅skychild
I'm trying to prove a point
🏋️fledglingwarrior
I think you're the only person having this problem
50 notes
🏋️fledglingwarrior
does anyone know if you can get addicted to stamina potions?
2 notes
🌃knight-shift
what happened to normal, good natured usernames. now it seems like everyone is named something like pumpkinplower or remlitgirldick
🎃pumpkinplower Follow
I'm just trying to find someone to help me out on the farm :(
🌃knight-shift
KINA IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN YOU
800 notes
thegroosinator reblogged bugenthusiast
🌅skychild
she skyward on my sword till I strike
✨sword-of-a-big-dealdeactivated18112011
blocked.
30k notes
🌅skychild
Hey guys I didn't want to do this but this is a call out post for @/sword-of-a-big-deal. It started like two weeks ago when that weird tornado happened. @/knittinggoddess can back me up she has screenshots (she didn't deactivate she's just been gone for a while)
~keep reading~
0 notes
🌅skychild
IMPORTANT impr1s0n3d changed its username to bringer-of-demise!! plz block it don't engage
✨sword-of-a-big-dealdeactivated18112011
umm his pronouns are he/him now please stop using it/its :/ and the rumors he was the one that got the Sealed Temple site shut down are literally false???
15 notes
🌅skychild reblogged
✨sword-of-a-big-dealdeactivated18112011
how about you suck my DICK
🌅skychild
dude she didn't block you for your weird ass parasocial relationship she blocked you because you killed people
6 notes
💌 night-in-armor
she liked my post about how the wing ceremony was rigged this year... should I message her...
#personal post #vent #vent post #vagueblogging #don't reblog
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🧵knittinggoddess reblogged skychild
🏋️fledglingwarrior
til that remlits attack you at night because of their proximity to demonic energy. Which means there must be a demon on Skyloft. Sleep well!
🙀bats-and-cats Follow
This is false. Remlits are hostile at night because they're predators and do the majority of their hunting then. There are no demons on skyloft
🌅skychild
net zero information. love this site
🐈is-the-remlit-cute Follow
Idk what @/bats-and-cats is talking about. Remlits have been proven to be more hostile when exposed to demonic energy, ESPECIALLY at night. normally they're very docile and only attack if provoked, which prolonged exposure to demonic energy can cause
🌃knight-shift
So there's a demon on Skyloft?
🌅skychild
yeah at ur mom's house lol
#prev you're one to talk #or was that bruise on your neck from 'falling down the stairs' again?
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teachers pet - by melanie martinez
pairing: young coriolanus snow x fem. reader
summery - if i'm so special, why am i secret?
word count: 2k+
contains: student coryo (academy is basically a uni), teacher reader, age gap (coryo is in his early twenties while the reader is somewhere in her thirties), teacher x student relationships, dark themes, cheating (reader is married), mommy issues, manipulating, blackmailing
The life of a nerd didn't look as bad as it was portrayed in movies or books. However, it must be said that Coriolanus Snow had neither the stereotypical look nor behavior of a nerd, which may have been the reason why he was hardly treated like one. He had only the best, the good grades of a model student, the popularity of a popular student, and the good looks of a young man his age.
Cute girls queued up to get a chance with him since he seemed like a dream. In a world full of boys, he was a gentleman, a young man with a secure future. Some of his classmates would joke that he would be the future president of Panem, although they always had a slightly confident undertone while saying that. To be honest, no one would be surprised if he would be someday.
"Come on, Coriolanus! Let's go for a drink, you're never coming with us!" Complained the voice of some side character. "I'm sure you have a good chance with most of the girls in the bar - or boys. Whatever you like, I don't judge." He joked, and Clemensia hit him on the shoulder with her fist to warn him to take it down a notch.
She spoke in his place. "Leave him be. He's not into that sort of thing. I'm sure he'd rather spend his time doing more productive things." A slight grin stretched across her features. "Maybe you should try that sometime. Perhaps then you wouldn't fail half the subjects."
Festus interrupted the conversation as he walked past the group. "Come on, Clemmie. Leave the poor guy alone. We're students. It's normal to go partying every now and then." His eyes looked somewhat defiantly at Coriolanus. "You only live once. There's no need to waste it."
Alcoholics and drug addicts use the same excuse, stupid idiot. Coriolanus had enough of this whole interaction. It was time to wrap it up. "Of course, and everyone is free to live this life the way they want." He said with a falsely charming smile when he finally got a chance to speak. "I'm afraid I don't have much time either, I'm already in demand elsewhere."
Unfortunately for him, Arachne couldn't hold her tongue and had to carry on the conversation. "And so late on a Wednesday, too? Don't tell me our teacher's pet is in trouble. Has Mrs. Lola finally realized that you're just trying to get better grades with your flirting, and she doesn't actually have a chance with the pretty boy?" She joked as she mentioned the older woman who was getting closer to retirement with each passing year.
But her comment didn't make the intended person bitter, but Festus, who had to grit his teeth in annoyance. "Can't believe that shit works. I complimented her the other day, and she gave me a look like she was cursing me and the rest of my bloodline." He sighed. "I don't even want kids."
Coriolanus was getting impatient. If at least Sejanus was here, he could cover for him enough to leave, but no, they didn't share every damn course there was. He couldn't believe that this bothered him somehow. "No. Actually, I have asked to speak with Mrs. Rosey regarding her assigned homework." He announced, mentioning your name.
His pretty literature teacher. The only woman he wanted.
The eyes of the person who had started the whole thing in the first place lit up briefly. Coriolanus didn't bother to remember his name. "Oh, she's that one young teacher, isn't she?" He asked. The title wasn't really that hard to get since most of the teachers at the academy were dinosaurs. "She's pretty hot, I regret dropping literature man, but at the end of the day it's just an unnecessary course that requires extra work."
Okay, now Coriolanus was not only annoyed but also angry and had to stop himself from looking too passionate. "Right, see you tomorrow." He quickly said goodbye and paid no further attention to what the others were saying as he made his way to the teachers' lounge. He quickly fixed his tie and hair before knocking on the door. Fortunately, he didn't meet anyone else in the corridors who wasted his time unnecessarily. His patience was getting thin, and he didn't think he had enough of it to make him exchange more false smiles and words.
"Come in..." He heard your muffled voice call through the door before he slowly opened it, and his eyes immediately turned to your table. You, too, looked up from the papers in front of you and met his figure as you turned your chair to the side. "Mr. Snow, you said you had a question about the assignment I gave you."
There was a step between you two, but your voice still felt close. Maybe it was because you two were the only ones in the room since it was pretty late. Now that Coriolanus was looking down at your figure, you looked quite exhausted and seemed barely able to keep your eyes open. Judging by your desk, you were in the middle of correcting last week's quiz, but he doubted that was the only thing you were working on. Your usually well-groomed appearance was a little more disheveled. There were strands of hair peeking out from various places, and the first few buttons of your shirt were undone. "You never called me." Was all he said as he watched you avoid his gaze.
Your tongue licked over your dry lips as you searched for the right words. "I don't think that has anything to do with the assignment." You replied. Maybe my mistake was, hoping he had a question in the first place. "I'm not going to talk about other matters, I'm busy." You tried to explain to him.
Coriolanus laughed in disbelief. He placed his coat and bag on the chair next to him before leaning back against your table. "Oh, please. I can understand you wanting to keep our special time a secret, but don't try to deny it." He spat out, placing his hand on the papers to stop you from continuing to work on it. "Do you regret the things we shared, huh? Don't lie to me."
You met his gaze after you sighed. "Look, Mr. Snow. I'm sure you'll understand me when I tell you that you should rather concentrate on your studies, don't you think?"
His jaw tightened further as you continued to skillfully evade his questions. As if you didn't care at all, as if you didn't care about him. He was fully aware that what he was getting into was something short-term, but he still wouldn't allow you to throw him away as easily as trash. "Oh, so it's Mr. Snow now? What happened to Coryo."
You stood up so you could speak to him at eye level. Coriolanus has always been a bit more clingy with you. You expected no less, and yet it didn't make this whole procedure any less difficult. "Look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I'm married, and you know that." You tried to work through the situation. You grabbed his arms to comfort him with your touch. "There are so many young girls out there who want you. I'm so much older than you, and I'm also your teacher. From the beginning, this was something that wouldn't last."
He shook his head. "I don't care about them. It's you I want, please. Only you." He begged, and this time, he was the one who grabbed your arms to stop you from leaving, from leaving him. Coriolanus could see in your eyes how his desperation couldn't convince you, and he wished it would. Not only because he wanted to, but also so that he wouldn't have to resort to other methods, but you left him no other choice. "It would be a scandal if the whole thing came out, don't you think?"
You just sighed tiredly when he didn't let you go. "Sweetie..."
He softened a little at the pet name, but that didn't stop him. "No, you can't just use me until you're satisfied and then dispose of me. I will tell everyone and you know that as a teacher you will be in a position where people will accuse you of taking advantage of me." He explained as he pushed you between him and the desk while he watched the look of irritation on your face. His one hand came up to gently stroke your cheek, but his true intentions were visible through the strong grip on your arm. "And of course, you can try to tell the truth or try to defend yourself, but you know who they're more likely to believe."
He hadn't only pushed your body in a corner anymore. "So what? We're going to keep doing this until you're satisfied and let me go." You asked, seeing no long-lasting result.
That was your mistake. It hadn't been long since you'd been married, so Coriolanus was aware that you hadn't changed your surname. He liked that about you. He liked the sound of Rosey, and he too wanted to hold you like a little pretty rose in his grasp. "Yes. Except I won't let you go. Ever." he said with a slightly dreamy look.
You dared to disagree. "Mr. Snow - " you began, but changed your tone when you saw him grimace angrily and tighten his grip on your arm. " - Coryo, look. You're a smart boy, and yes, I enjoyed our time together, but it's not right that - "
" - I love you, and if it's wrong, then I don't want to be right. Why can't you understand that already? I know I'm young, but I'm not naive, so don't talk to me like I am." He spat out in annoyance and finally reached the end of his patience. His eyes glanced briefly next to you at the table where the sheets of paper were now messely scattered around. It seemed you were in the process of correcting his. how convenient. his hand grabbed it and held it in front of you. "Let's play a little game. If I pass this quiz, you'll give me something I want."
Your eyes didn't move from his. You knew you had to play along whether you wanted to or not, and you didn't seem to get far with values and morals. You doubted you would do it at all with him. "And what do you want?" You asked him simply.
He leaned closer to you. "A kiss."
You met his eyes and took the paper from his hand without even glancing at it. "You passed." You confirmed and pulled him into a soft kiss.
This is how he liked you. When you touched him tenderly like now and stroked his hair lovingly. Coriolanus only felt like this with you. Do you think he wouldn't have tried to get away from you? He did, first with several girls who just wanted him to give and give and he hated that they just took from him and thought it was enough if they just stood pretty next to him or leaned back and spread their legs. Hated them, and so he tried women who were older than him and then women who had the same color eyes as you, some who smiled like you and then some whose voice was similar to yours. He liked those the most because with them, he could just close his eyes and imagine it was you.
Then he finally got tired of just imagining it, and once he had a taste of what might be, there was no going back to his old ways.
"I love you." He finally said as you ended the kiss and he leaned his forehead against yours while his hands wrapped around yours. "Don't ever think about leaving me again and don't make me out to be crazy for wanting you."
What am I supposed to do with you, little snowflake, now that you don't melt away? "All right, Coryo, I won't." You just replied and saw no point in arguing with him anymore. You knew him well enough to know how possessive and dominant he could get. However, you liked him more when he was dependent on you and sought your approval. "But be good and a little nicer to me, will you?" You said and squeezed his hands. "Because if I wanted some stupid man who was full of himself, I'd go to my husband."
He nodded quickly, giving in easily now that it was clear that he had you. "Of course, anything you want. I'll do anything you want." He spoke and took your hand in his up to place a kiss on it. "All you have to do is ask for it."
Coriolanus would take care of your useless husband. You wouldn't need him when you were going to marry him soon.
#x reader#coriolanus snow#tbosas#young coriolanus snow#coryo snow#the hunger games#hunger games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#coriolanus x reader#coryo#young coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus x you#coriolanus#x you#ballad of songbirds and snakes#thg fanfiction#coriolanus snow fanfiction#fanfiction#snow lands on top#coryolanus snow#coryo x reader#x female y/n#x female reader
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Ch. 5 - Turn Against {Against All Odds - TVA!Loki x Female Reader Longfic}
Previous Chapter / AO3 Link / Against All Odds Masterlist / Next Chapter
Pairing : TVA!Loki x Female Reader
Summary : Loki attempts to sneak out of your flat before you awaken.
W/c : 8.8k words
Content / Warnings : Fluff, angst, and a touch of smut.
Author's Note : Apologies this chapter took me so long to finish! After 6 months of working on it, it blew up to a length of 14k words and I ended up having to divide it into two chapters just to make the editing process more manageable. So congrats, this fic is now a grand total of 20 chapters! Yay!
Also, just fyi - I basically wrote the whole thing (so, Chapters 5 and 6 together) while watching Infinity War and Endgame on repeat, if that gives you any insight as to my mental state, or the amount of angst these chapters have. So, uh…good luck!! <3
18+ Only - Minors DNI
⊱ ── ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅ ── ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ── ⊰
Date : June 27th, 1977 [Sacred Timeline]
A pair of ethereal beings slumbered peacefully in your bed.
Twisted among the silken sheets, your angelic form was snuggled against the chest of Loki’s duplicate - a leg hooked around one of his, an arm draped across his torso. Your fingers twitched in your sleep, your lungs slowly inhaled and exhaled in sync with that of his seidr. The only thing you had on was a quiet, serene expression - one that meant you were blissfully unaware of the trickery that had already befallen you, or of the cruel disappearing act that was yet to come.
The true Loki approached your bed with incredible precision, moving cautiously so as to not disturb the exquisite goddess or her beauty sleep. His gaze roamed lazily over your every curve, your every spasm and pulse, every inch of skin peeking out from beneath the sheets. The polish on your toes was cherry-red, the freckles on your back replicated the stars of the night sky, and the air from your lungs was sweet, intoxicating, mellifluous.
The entire scene was breathtaking, but that wasn’t what was suffocating him.
As he paused by your side, you stirred a little in your sleep - muscles tensing, breath hitching. Your face twitched lightly, brushing your cheek against the duplicate’s skin, and he responded in kind by holding you closer, squeezing you tighter, soothing and comforting you under the true Loki’s direction. And it worked; you relaxed in that false embrace, reassured by the solace of his presence enough to resume the slow, deep breathes in, and then back out.
This time, it was Loki’s turn for his breath to hitch. How was this possible? Why did you find serenity with him? What did you see in him that he could never see himself?
His eyes flicked to the mimic in bed with you. It matched his appearance in every single way, from the dark curls spread across the pillow to the tips of his fingers now tracing light circles along your arm. Its scent was the same, its voice would have been identical if you had needed to hear it. He could have switched places with it in less than a second, just to have you in his own arms once more, and you never would have known the difference.
Because the duplicate was him: a literal, physical manifestation of his deceit, cradling you tenderly while you slept. While the real one searched your apartment for the evidence of an addiction you clearly hadn’t developed yet. While he neglected his responsibilities back at the TVA, because he was too preoccupied with a future problem that he might cause to fully focus on the massive problem he’d definitely helped to cause at the end of time.
As usual, his attentions were divided. Lately it seemed as though any attempt to solve a problem would just create two more in its place. And forever the masochist, Loki was drifting hopelessly between the past, present, and future; stuck between a rock and a hard place, while being unable to fully focus on either.
He was trapped inside a personal Hel of his very own making.
It wasn’t fair that he hadn’t found you until after he’d broken the timelines. Without judgment or sound reason, you gazed upon him like the sun looked down at the clouds, parting the storms of his heart and warming the oceans of his mind, stilling the thoughts that swirled in nervous energy, and regret, and prayers that he could somehow be different for the both of you. That he didn’t have to choose between you or the TVA.
That he could somehow be with you, without being Loki.
He couldn’t help but wonder: if you’d been born on Asgard, would you still feel the same way about him? If you had grown up together, if you knew all of his secrets and heartbreaks and betrayals, would you have still slept this peacefully in his arms? Would you still look at him like he was somehow everything you’d ever wanted?
Perhaps in another timeline you did, and if he could manage to save the TVA after all, then maybe afterwards he should go searching for it.
Outside your flat, the sun was just starting to crest over the horizon. Its rays drifted in through the bay windows of your bedroom to bring on a beautiful, new day. But Loki needed to leave before you woke up. Actually saying goodbye wasn’t an option - because he couldn’t lie, but he couldn’t tell the truth either, and he certainly couldn’t predict the future.
In fact, no one knew what was going to happen now that the timelines were free, but he couldn’t shake the ominous feeling that somehow this would only end with his self-sacrifice; dying was the only sure way Loki knew how to redeem himself, and even if you never knew about it, he would have happily done it for you.
But even in the off chance that their efforts with the Loom were successful and he didn’t have to sacrifice himself - the next problem on the TVA’s To Do List was to deal with the variants of He Who Remains and their potential for waging multiversal war. And after that, there would inevitably be a thousand other problems for him to deal with, each one with more dire consequences than the last, and Loki would never be able to stop.
He’d never be able to take a moment to breathe, to exist, to just love you.
Loki wasn’t sure if he was in love with you now, but the appeal of letting himself feel something good was too much to ignore; in truth, he was only safe to feel it because he knew it was going to obliterate him later on, and it was why he couldn’t deny himself one last touch.
Kneeling beside the bed, the arm of his duplicate lifted slowly from your body. And as if it had been rehearsed, the true Loki brought his fingertips to brush through your hair, gently massaging your scalp. As if he were doing it mindlessly in his sleep, instead of doing it fully conscious while his heart shattered into a million pieces.
And he didn’t know if he was even capable of loving you. Loki had spent centuries hurting and longing for what he couldn’t have, bitter and resentful to what he had too much of, and disillusioned over everything else in between. At no point in his long life had his experiences ever been what anyone might call normal, especially not to a mere and simple human, and he’d long since forgotten what it was like to just be, let alone to have something he actually wanted to hold on to.
When Loki was younger, he believed love to be a calculated decision that required delicate measurement of the pros and cons. Which option would benefit Asgard the most as the spouse of its disinclined and least favorite prince? Who would be the most trustworthy to safeguard an outcast’s heart?
Back then, the obvious choice would have been whomever could simply tolerate him while maintaining an innocuous distance. It never would have been real, just like this couldn’t ever be.
As his fingers began another pass through your hair, he wondered what sort of tragedy had happened in your younger years to make you cling so tightly to such a broken thing like him. Had you loved, and then lost? Had you failed someone in the way he was about to fail you? Had you repeatedly cracked open your soul, only to have no one even notice?
Whatever it was, whatever atrocity had made you look at him like that, Loki both cherished and cursed it. He wanted to fix it, he wanted to make it worse. He wanted to see it, he wanted to taste it. To nurture it, to smother it, to let it rise and then push it back down. He wanted to be the cause of it, and then to be its cure.
His eyes filled with tears - big, wet, silent, pathetic ones. The tears of a child no longer allowed to keep the only thing that had ever brought him any kind of solace. His chest tightened, and he could feel the tears bleeding down his cheeks, painting sharp lines of misery and staining his skin red for anyone who dared to look closely enough.
This was so absurd, his reactions and feelings were so unbelievably foolish, because you were just a human. You didn’t really know him, and he didn’t really know you. Your perspective, by design, was so much more limited than his. What could you possibly ever have in common with him? Or him with you?
Whatever was waiting in your future - perhaps he was just overthinking it. Maybe the addiction had nothing to do with him at all. Maybe he was just projecting, maybe your feelings for him were nothing but casual ones, maybe you’d be able to completely forget about him as soon as he walked out the door. You’d be better off without him anyway.
That thought brought him some comfort, while quietly slitting his throat.
He swallowed hard, and tried to get a grip on himself. What was it that he was supposed to say on Svartalfheim, about Thor falling in love with the mortal Jane Foster?
It’s nothing. It’s a heartbeat. You’ll never be ready.
Loki’s biggest problem had always been never knowing when to walk away - and if he didn’t do it now, then it might someday be completely out of his control. Your path might lead you down a branched timeline, one that another rogue TVA agent could destroy. The Loom’s explosion could take out everyone and everything. Loki himself could accidentally get you killed, or worse - you could finally see him for what he really was, and decide to walk away from him instead.
The only woman whose love you’ve prized will be snatched from you.
Letting out a restrained breath, he dragged his hand across his face to wipe away the tears, while the other’s gentle touch remained in your hair. This was going to be tricky; once he left your bedroom, Loki was going to have to carefully withdraw the duplicate from your bed - slowly, cruelly, and without waking you up. He brushed his thumb along your cheekbone one last time, and just as he was debating on whether to kiss you goodbye, you startled yourself awake with a sharp gasp.
Loki panicked, and quickly switched places with the duplicate. His kneeling form beside the bed disappeared before you could fully open your eyes. His muscles tightened, and with a gasp of his own, and he pretended to just be waking up alongside you.
“Are you alright, darling?” he murmured breathlessly, nudging your temple with his nose and praying that you couldn’t feel his heart pounding wildly in his chest.
“Huh? Oh…” Your eyelids fluttered quickly, attempting to blink away the sleep from your eyes. When you finally recognized him next to you, only then did your breathing slow. “No, I’m fine…”
He struggled to not let out a massive sigh of relief at that. Your grogginess had mercifully prevented notice of the two Lokis that had momentarily been in your presence, and he shuddered to think of what your reaction may have been had you seen it.
“Bad dream?” he asked softly, his fingers resuming their bittersweet caresses against your scalp.
Again, you had found solace within his touch. Your muscles relaxed as you sank back into his embrace, and his followed suit, finding just as much consolation in giving it as you did in receiving it. He couldn’t believe how little effort it took to bring you comfort, and in contrast, he could believe how little it took for him to offer it.
“Do you ever dream you’re falling so hard that your body thinks it’s actually falling…?”
Of course, his consultation was different. Unable to slip out quietly like he’d planned, he was now staring at the daunting task of actually saying goodbye - and possibly lying to your beautiful face in the process. Once again, hesitation had cost him dearly, and he wondered if he was ever going to be able to make a timely decision ever again.
“Of course. All the time, really…”
But truthfully, a part of him was extremely grateful for the chance to be in bed with you again. He adored the sensation of your warm skin against his, just as alluring and soft as it had been the night before. Stirring up all the same desires, making him ache for an encore performance. As his fingers drifted through your hair, the scent of gardenias stimulated the memories of his first kiss between the rows of Midgardian flora his mother had grown in her garden.
During the few times he’d had lovers in the past, mornings were always his favorite; the lazy kisses, bodies moving on autopilot but not without purpose or reason. It meant that the night before wasn’t a mistake. It was intentional, it was deliberate, it was worth repeating. He was actually wanted, and the idea of bringing on the new, terrible day with a subdued brisance of ecstasy was -
Loki scolded himself for letting his mind wander from this devastating predicament. His fingers drifted through your hair once more, brushing and massaging in the hope of keeping you from noticing the confliction on his face. Should he just promise to come back, even though he didn’t know if it was possible? Should he tell you it was goodbye forever instead, and then never return even on the off chance that he could?
You let out a peaceful hum as his fingers trailed down to your neck, pressing gently into the muscles and tendons to relieve any knots they found. Every part of you practically melted underneath his touch, and you snuggled into him deeper, unable to get enough. Your leg wrapped around his again, your lips brushed against the bare skin of his chest, and your gentle fingertips trailed along the lines of his abdomen.
“I was afraid you’d be gone by the time I woke up…”
His lips curved into a sad smile. Every murmured word was like another chain of iron locked around his ankles. Loki was used to ruining everything, and he knew he still might, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull the trigger just yet. Being of genuine use was a pleasure he was rarely afforded any more, even though it was all he really wanted.
When he had purpose, he had a place to belong.
“I’m still here, darling…” Loki had to stop himself from continuing, from promising to never leave, from cursing the TVA and all that was waiting for him back there. He was never one to subscribe to the ideology of “what will be, will be” before, but that option was looking better and better with each passing moment.
You shifted on the bed, working your lips up his chest, kissing over his heart and up to his collarbone. “And I am so very grateful that you are…” you hummed against his neck.
Unable to resist the effects of desire as it flooded his veins, Loki let out a deep groan. He tilted his head back to allow you better access to his flesh, your lips soft and warm as you tasted his skin. Why couldn’t he just stay here forever? Where pleasure was given and received so freely, and without expectation?
Once you were properly kissing his neck, his hands acted of their own accord, latching on to your ass and pulling you up to straddle him completely. You must have enjoyed that, because you gasped softly and eagerly pressed your hips to his, rolling and dragging yourself against his quickly hardening cock.
Your tongue swiped at his skin while you kissed and sucked on his neck, and your fingers tangled in his hair. The exhales from his nose were heavy, his moans were urgent, shameless. His muscles tightened and stretched underneath you, and he started to forget he’d ever heard of the Time Variance Authority before. Loki gripped your ass harder, encouraging your every movement.
“Are you sure you’ve got no other place to be?” you murmured breathlessly, grinding yourself just a little harder against him, clearly wanting this just as much as he did.
His cock twitched hungrily, his fingers dug their need into your skin. Loki would gladly trade the next millennia or two in happy exchange to keep such a beautifully eager woman writhing against him. He groaned out a sound reminiscent of the word “no” before cupping your jaw and angling your mouth to his.
Deeply passionate kisses consumed you both, and your arms locked around his neck. You passed heated moans back and forth, and Loki could feel how much you wanted this as you coated his cock in arousal. He began adjusting your hips to allow him entry when you murmured one last question against his lips.
“So you’re not married? No wife or kids to get back home to?”
Loki froze, and then burst into laughter. His entire body shook as his head tilted back with eyes closed, eyebrows raised, completely flabbergasted by the idea. Married? With children?! Who could be foolish enough to do such a thing with him?
When he managed to compose himself enough to open his eyes, the forlorn expression on your face sobered him completely. Concern had pulled your eyebrows to the heavens, and your lips had parted with childlike embarrassment to both your question, and his unexpected reaction to it. He forced himself to stop laughing, to position his brow into sincerity as he caressed your cheeks with both hands.
“Darling, darling, darling…what could have possibly possessed you to ask such a thing?” he murmured cautiously, dragging his thumbs along your cheekbones. His eyes desperately searched yours, trying to see what it was that troubled you.
“Well, it’s just that…You know, I just don’t - ” you sighed, then paused to chew on the inside of your cheek.
Loki’s heart ached as you stammered along while carefully avoiding his gaze. It would have been adorable, if it hadn’t been so heartbreaking.
Of course, Loki had a sinking feeling about what you were really after, but he didn’t know how to explain himself. The only other experience he could possibly derive guidance from had happened to his brother, but even that wasn’t the same; Jane Foster had always understood Thor to be a mythological being of the cosmos from the very beginning.
As usual, his brother hadn’t needed to lie about who he was or where he was from; Thor had never once needed to endure the humiliation of trying to explain himself. And as usual, Loki found himself envious of the blind confidence that flashed like lightning through every fiber of Thor’s being. It wasn’t fair that he’d never had to prepare for situations like this.
Situations like this, where Loki definitely should have known better.
Because it wasn’t like their father had ever provided instructions on how to break the news of their otherworldly existences to their mortal lovers; in fact, Odin had explicitly forbidden the idea altogether. And as he watched the gears whirling in your mind, as they tried to put the right words in the correct order, or maybe they were trying to spool up enough energy to just blurt it out - Loki wished that he had listened to his father.
He wished that none of this had ever happened. He wished that he’d never been kidnapped by the TVA, he wished that he’d never met Brad Wolfe. He wished that he’d never decided to get back at him by seducing his date to the movie premiere. He wished the duplicate Tony Stark had never dropped the Tesseract, and he wished that he’d never picked it up at all.
Loki wished he could wake up tomorrow in the dungeons of Asgard. He wished he could experience, first-hand, the deaths of his mother, and then his father. He wished he could personally hammer that final nail into the coffin of his brother’s trust. He wished it could be his neck that Thanos had snapped.
Because even if everything worked out perfectly - even if you somehow accepted his truth, something no one else had ever managed to do, even if he managed to save the TVA and all the timelines, even if he was able to stop HWR and prevent multiversal war - in 50 years time, you would still be gone.
If he was lucky, he’d be able to watch your hair fade to gray. He would be able to count the smile lines as they grew along your cheeks, and he’d be there for every single frown, every single moment of joy. Every spot of luck, every inconvenience, every tragedy, every victory. But then he’d also have to watch it all turn to ash, and he’d have to continue on alone after you were gone.
Seeing the ones he loved come and go, watching them pass him by while he was powerless to stop it, was a burden he was simply unwilling to bear.
Loki’s attention was drawn to your lips as they started moving. The sound of your voice was muffled in his ears, and your eyes darted back and forth between staring off into the distance and making brief, heartbreaking contact with his. He could tell you were stammering and struggling to make sense of your thoughts, but he was too busy picturing your casket to even really listen.
“I just - I just don’t know anything about you, Loki!”
The exclamation was made out in defiance of yourself. It was only then that your gaze became totally affixed to his - watching, waiting, hoping for some kind of answer from the stranger in your bed.
Loki matched your anticipatedly heartsick expression with one of his own. His brows slanted upwards while his eyes grew immense with regret and remorse; for someone whose many monikers included the God of Lies, he was truthfully finding himself completely out of his depth with you. His throat tightened, sealing off his lungs from the air in your bedroom, but he somehow managed a meager smile.
“I’m afraid there’s not much to know about me, darling,” Loki replied, hoping to assuage some imaginary guilt you may have been harboring. He prayed this was all you really needed to hear, anyway. “But I can assure you, wholeheartedly, that I do not have a spouse, nor any children, that I’m hiding from you…”
You stared at him closely while he spoke, as if you were looking for any twitch or vellication that might have betrayed his answer. Once none could be found, your eyes narrowed in careful dissection of what appeared to be the truth. Loki’s heart fluttered with twinges of nervous energy and pure admiration for the only mortal he’d ever felt drawn to; he just hoped you were aware of how intelligent you were, and how much it both terrified, and impressed, him.
After another moment or two, your demeanor shifted once more, altering your calculating gaze into something much more friendly and open-minded. You smiled sweetly while bending your elbow against a pillow and propping your head against your palm. The fingertips of your other hand moved to trace light, swirling patterns against his bare chest, and Loki was sure that this time you could feel his breath hitch inside his lungs.
“Can you tell me what you do for a living then?” you murmured softly, clearly attempting a different tactic to pull his precious details out into the open.
But Loki could still see right through your methods. He was, unfortunately, quite used to being interrogated for both the things he had and had not actually done; when you’re known to the Nine Realms as the God of Mischief, everyone practically falls over themselves trying to be the one to finally catch you in the act of malfeasance, just to prove to everyone else how clever and ingenuitive they were.
And as much as it hurt to constantly be on the receiving end of such distrust and misfortune, it had also fortified and strengthened Loki’s adaptability and perseverance. But the one thing he hadn’t ever counted on was that someday he’d find himself in the bed of the most beautiful and extraordinary lover he’d ever known, who was asking him for the kind of truth he simply had no way to provide.
“It’s…complicated,” Loki answered with a patient sigh. He brought his fingertips to caress the back of your hand as it traced over his skin. The contact was so very soothing to him, and he hoped it would, at the very least, be a distraction for you.
But it didn’t work. Instead, your gaze burned hotter into his. “If there’s not much to know about you, then how complicated could it really be?”
Loki chuckled as he dragged his knuckles up the length of your forearm. “Oh, you’d be surprised…”
“Well, thankfully I love those. So I’m all ears.” You shifted closer on the bed, hooking one of your bare legs around his, flexing your foot to brush slowly along the inside of his calf. The smile on your lips was patiently, and infuriatingly, insistent.
Loki’s breath hitched yet again. His blood chilled underneath the weight of someone paying such close and affectionate attention to him; he simply didn’t know what to do with it. He never had.
Almost with a mind of their own, his eyes shifted down to his fingertips as they resumed tracing up the length of your arm. Despite everything, Loki couldn’t bring himself to stop touching you, even though he knew it was just further trapping him within a time loop of lingering and longing.
And you didn’t recoil when he touched you; that would never, ever cease to surprise, or alarm, him. Thus, a game of tug of war ensued deep within his heart - a hand of cold, gnarled fingers pulling it towards outright vitriol, and a kind, loving hand attempting to guide it towards acceptance. But both destinations were terrifying in their own ways, and neither hand was able to make any significant progress.
Loki cleared his throat, his eyes avoiding direct contact with yours while you waited for his reply. His thoughts raced by at a trillion miles an hour. They collided and smashed together behind his signature furrowed brow and measured persona, fracturing and blending into an unrecognizable mess - one that was completely uncharacteristic, uncomfortable and unforgivable to the God of Mischief. Selecting a single and coherent idea was going to be next to impossible, and he absolutely loathed feeling this out of control over his own mind.
“Why do you need to know so badly?”
It was the only thing he could manage to say, and he immediately regretted it. The way your face fell rivaled the destruction of many great civilizations the Nine Realms had known and lost over the past millennia. Your eyes widened like the Bifrost’s beam as it opened upon the cold, barren wasteland of Jotunheim.
Your breath hitched like the innocent citizens of New York when the Chitauri Army descended from the Heavens. Your formerly warm skin turned colder than Thor’s expression when the last flames of hope that Loki might still turn things around died on his features.
But Loki knew that to be an impossible endeavor, if your anguish was to be any sort of indication. He’d never be able to turn things around, not really. He was very well accustomed to judgment, and of condemnation - to conviction without trial, and to criticism without consideration. They were the necessary bedfellows that came with his title.
And they were comfortable, familiar. They allowed him to stand defiant in the face of total and complete reckoning, and they also saved him from the problem of trying, and inevitably failing, to be better than anyone could ever hope for him to be.
But the look on your face right now was something else entirely. Your eyebrows arched upwards, recreating the highest precipice of the Asgardian palace - a home that wasn’t ever really his, one that was built with shimmering gold and the most rubious of blood. Along with the emerald of your sheets, those were the only colors he really knew how to paint with.
It was honestly shocking how much your expression truly rattled him; he felt like a child again, cowering behind his mother’s skirts because he hadn’t yet figured out how to talk his way out of whatever trouble he’d found himself in. Except this time, there was no Frigga to do the talking for him. There were no skirts, or titles, or utter defiance for him to hide behind - it was just you, and him, laid bare and mute underneath the silk sheets of your bed.
Loki was sure that he’d ruined everything…again. What he didn’t know, however, was why your reaction was one of hurt. He had seen the spark dim in your eyes and he could feel you recoiling even as your mouth opened and closed, in slow-motion and without sound, as you attempted to answer his slightly cruel, albeit fair, question.
Why did you need to know so badly? Why was he starting to fear that this may be more than a passing dalliance to you? Why did that warm his heart with feelings of worthiness, while simultaneously cracking it under the weight of all that responsibility?
So maybe it would be better to let that question fester into an open wound of resentment, instead of trying to reassure, or deflect, or explain. Despite being all too aware of his own shortcomings, Loki had no idea how to broach the subject himself; that was something that was always done for him. He’d never had to suffer the drought of no one to remind him of his repeated failings before, and thus, never really learned how to bring them up on his own. Where would he even start explaining?
Not to mention, this might make leaving easier. He could just stand up and get dressed, taking the time to actually button and buckle and fasten the Midgardian ensemble he’d conjured just for you, while he repeated the question and made you feel like a fool for wanting to know him better. Didn’t you know he was just using you? That this wasn’t ever going to be serious and that it was just for the game, for the chase, for the sex?
Loki knew how to be cruel. It was the only thing he was better at than being a massive, colossal force of chaos and destruction - and he’d learned it from the very best. Callosity was like breathing to him; he didn’t feel alive unless he was driving a dagger into someone else’s heart. And then afterwards mocking them so they couldn’t see that he was bleeding even more than they were.
That was easy. It was familiar, it was safe.
It was home. It was his home.
Finally accepting the inevitable, Loki let out a heavy sigh. He couldn’t carry on with this imposture any longer, it was too risky. You could find out what he really was, or you could simply not believe his explanation at all.
Loki raked a nervous hand through his dark and tangled curls as he straightened his back away from your headboard. He swallowed hard, steeling his expression into something far more neutral than how he felt, and then he forced himself to finally use his favorite dagger of betrayal once more.
“Listen, darling…I - ”
A sharp, piercing ring suddenly echoed across the flat, and behind it, followed a penetrative silence. Its air was tense, suffocating the rest of his sentence and making it perish on his tongue. The sound of metal striking metal in that brief and frenzied rhythm was unexpected, but the Asgardian still was able to recognize the source of the noise as an innocent and harmless doorbell. He remained unreactive, his curious gaze fixed solely on you.
Your response, however, was different; you’d practically jumped out of your skin, clearly not expecting your own doorbell to ring at such an imperative moment. Your heart beat a rapid cadence inside your chest, and there was just a tiny bit of air lodged in your throat.
But other than a vigorous heartbeat and your lungs heaving for more oxygen, you didn’t move. You said nothing, you did nothing - you just stared at him like it was his fault the doorbell had rung.
Sensing your need for a push, Loki reached forward, gently brushing his fingers along the sensitive skin of your inner wrist. “Darling, were you expecting additional visitors?”
Your pupils dilated at the sound of his voice, and your eyelids blinked once, twice, three times as you processed his latest question. Your brow raised and then furrowed as you glanced at the clock on the nightstand, your eyes desperately trying to decipher the lines and numbers and what they meant when illuminated together.
Loki wasn’t sure if you were still exhausted from the very late night you’d spent with him, or if his first question had rattled you that much. But the look on your face was honestly so adorable that he almost forgot that he’d been only seconds away from saying goodbye forever.
“Darling?” he murmured again just before the doorbell rang again, this time in a short series of three bursts to indicate the visitor’s urgency.
And this time, it suddenly clicked in your mind that it was your responsibility to actually answer the door. You quickly mumbled excuses as you popped upright, swinging your legs over the edge of your bed and practically gliding across the bedroom to throw something on.
Once again, desire roared to life in his veins, and he was unable to stop himself from admiring your naked form as you moved. As your muscles and tendons and ligaments all stretched and contracted with such supernal purpose, as your delicate hands reached for the silken, phthalo green fabric draped across the bench at the foot of your bed. Practiced fingers worked quickly to push both arms through the robe’s sleeves and situate the collar around your neck as you continued heading for the door.
Each movement was stunning and comforting, and Loki watched as though he were in the presence of a divinity so healing it could easily cure him of everything that had ever aggrieved, bruised or lacerated him. Watching you quite literally took his breath away; never before had the God of Mischief been so entranced, so mesmerized, so captivated by the simple act of getting dressed.
He didn’t even mind when you pulled the panels closed around your waist, obfuscating the curves and swells of your thighs and hips and torso. Because he’d already memorized your form; it was etched so profoundly into his mind that he wasn’t sure how deep it actually went.
And without even trying to, you answered every question he’d ever had. It made him want to ask even more questions, like why was the sky blue? How many stars could you count before you finally lost track? Would you object to ignoring the doorbell and having breakfast in bed with him instead?
Loki barely registered another triplicate of harsh doorbell rings, but he was aware of you disappearing through the door frame with an exasperated shout to the mystery caller.
“Yes, yes! I’m coming, I’m coming…”
Your bedroom was noticeably colder after you left; your bed, freezing. Loki swallowed hard, his lonely gaze falling upon the heap of his wrinkled suit, pulled off in a hurry the evening before and discarded carelessly on the floor. Somewhere in the pockets of his trousers lay the TemPad, ready to transport him back to the TVA and all its problems - both the ones he’d already caused, and the future problems still waiting to be revealed.
Loki pulled the sheets away and swung his legs over the edge of your bed. His head hung low, shoulders dropped and tendrils of the darkest night hanging in his eyes, blending into his perception of what you’d left behind. Down the hallway, he could hear you speaking to the visitor through the flat’s intercommunication system, blissfully unaware of the plight distressing the God you’d just spent the night with.
How did his life turn into this? All he’d wanted was a chance to breathe, to let his muscles finally relax. To possibly let his body finally heal after all the horrors he’d endured so far. But instead, he found himself locked in the sham of a fascist organization, and the only way to escape it was to dismantle it from the inside. That, in turn, somehow and inexplicably, had led him to all of this. It had brought him right here to you.
This room, and him inside of it, was now a barren, withering moon; a lifeless satellite, drifting aimlessly in the dark without its shining star to tether itself to. His sun was so far away now, unlocking the front door to her universe and happily greeting her unexpected visitor. He could feel the warmth of your light by the smile in your voice, in the way you laughed in excitement from whatever the visitor had to say. The sound was so alluring, beckoning him closer like the call of the most tempting siren.
Weary muscles groaned as Loki pushed himself up to standing. He desperately didn’t want to go, but time was running out; any moment now you’d return to the bedroom, and he’d have to say goodbye face-to-face. That was a scene he knew he did not have the strength to withstand, not after everything else he’d already lost. He’d much rather just run away again.
His feet shuffled forward, and Loki reluctantly retrieved his trousers from the floor. They were heavier than they should have been, what with the tremendous weight of the multiverse conveniently stored inside the compact and portable device hidden in his pocket. It was too much responsibility; how much easier this would all be if he could just forsake it and stay here instead.
Stalling, Loki chose to ignore the option of spellwork to get dressed. He thought about intentionally smashing the TemPad to destroy it entirely, and take away the option of leaving altogether - but instead he slipped one foot through the trouser leg.
Out in the kitchen, you were saying farewell to your visitor. Loki was dying to know who it was, and why they dropped by. He wondered if he could ever manage to blend into your life; could he charm your friends? Your parents? Could he actually handle having a job, and paying taxes, and pretending to go to the doctor once a year for a check-up?
It couldn’t be worse than spending his youth trying to prove himself a worthy son to a father who would never see him as such. But could he stand manually getting dressed every morning? Could he really go that long without his seidr?
Loki slipped the other foot through its trouser leg. He thought about X-5, and how eager he was to return to this timeline, to this life. Was it a life with you he wanted, or did he just want to be loved after spending so much time in a place that had never once valued the individual experience?
The front door to your flat was closed, and then locked. His trousers now buttoned and zipped, Loki picked up his white shirt and pushed his arms through the sleeves. He thought about Mobius and his incredible self-restraint, how he was somehow easily managing to ignore the potentials of his own timeline.
What if it’s something good? Do you think I wanna have that rattling around in here?
It was as admirable as much as it was infuriating. If Mobius ever knew what he was considering, if Mobius ever discovered that Loki wasn’t giving his complete and undivided attention to the more pressing issue of the Temporal Loom, then he would be so impressively furious. He’d be so disappointed, he’d call Loki expedient and selfish and narcissistic.
But didn’t Loki deserve something good for a change? He’d once had just about anything one could hope for, even with a disdainful shadow hanging over his shoulder. How much more would he have to lose before his selfishness was to be labeled justified, understandable, warranted?
A long life of clinging to discarded scraps had made him selfish. But it wasn’t sickness, it was necessity.
Of course he’d rather stay with you. Here, he was valued and appreciated. He was allowed to feel good, and dare he say it - wanted, even. Something he’d never once experienced in over a thousand years of tortured existence. Who wouldn’t be clinging to a liferaft while drowning in a vast ocean of nothingness?
In the kitchen, the faucet was running, and the sound of cabinets opening and then closing echoed down the hallway. You were starting your day with or without him, it seemed. But that was to be expected, thanks to his earlier, thoughtless question, and it was a feeling he should have become used to by now. As Loki caught his reflection in the mirror above your bureau, he knew that wasn’t the case.
Only a few weeks had passed since he’d escaped from the clutches of Thanos and the Black Order, and this was the first time he’d gazed upon himself since the S.H.I.E.L.D. research facility. He was slimmer than he remembered. But instead of that gauntness sharpening his features as one would expect, Loki saw himself fading away within the hunger of yearning. His Godly features were dulling before his very own eyes, seeming to drift away into abstraction while he got dressed in a mortal suit and tie.
Yet again, Loki was pretending to be something he wasn’t. That was all he’d ever done, instead of determining what it was that he wanted or forging his own path forward. He’d either do his best at what was expected of him, or he’d intentionally do the complete opposite of it, just to punish them for never asking what he wanted for himself.
The irony was he’d never be able to answer that question. He simply didn’t know what he wanted. Even now, the TVA and all its people were both on the verge of total annihilation, and here he was wishing he could just crawl back into bed with a human. No matter which option he chose, the guilt of not picking the other might very well eat him away from the inside.
But what if he didn’t have to choose between those two paths at all?
For the first time in his life, Loki could truly create his own destiny. There was no one pulling the strings anymore, no pre-fabricated tragedy for him to obediently succumb to. He could button up his shirt as fast or as slowly as he wanted, he could snake his feet into his socks and shoes, or forgo them entirely. He could join you in the kitchen, slip his arms around your waist, and he could promise to return soon.
He could mean that promise, and it was possible that he could fulfill it too.
Moving hastily, Loki finished getting dressed. He tucked the dress shirt into his trousers and he retrieved his tie from the floor, slipping its middle into his pocket and leaving the ends to dangle down the length of his thigh. He picked up his jacket from the floor, folded it neatly over his arm, and then he began his approach into the hallway with his chin held higher than it’d been in a very long time.
He could do this, he could make this work. He could have his Key Lime pie, and he could eat it too.
Successfully ignoring the horned candelabrum on the narrow bookshelf, he instead admired your displayed photographs as he moved down the hallway. Your smile was so joyous and bright in all of them, but especially in the ones where you made goofy faces with your friends. When you dressed up for holidays with your family. While standing in front of that treasured crepe myrtle in the backyard of your childhood home, the one that clearly meant so very much to you.
There was nothing in your past that indicated a miserable future, only the deep-seated roots of pleasant memories. Loki hoped that would be enough to keep you safe until he fixed the Loom, but he felt optimistic about his chances as he approached the kitchen; he was going to keep you from falling into the clutches of addiction, and he was going to save the Temporal Loom at the same time. There was no one around to decide that he wasn’t allowed to any longer.
If there was only one true thing in the entirety of the multiverse, it was that he despised being told that he couldn’t do something.
And afterwards, he would go to the Æsir to request a spell. If necessary, he’d return to Asgard to search their libraries, and he’d go to New York and interrogate the so-called Sorcerer Supreme. He’d tear apart the entirety of the Nine Realms if he had to - all in search of a way to allow you to live as long as he would, just so he’d never have to figure out how to say goodbye.
After rounding the hallway’s corner, he found you were standing in front of the kitchen stove, carefully measuring out spoonfuls of dark brown granules and methodically pouring them into a tall, silver pot. Your eyes were bleary, your movements sluggish but not without purpose. But in that early morning light, while wearing nothing but a silk robe, Loki found you entirely and completely magnificent.
“Would you like some coffee before you go?”
Your question was soft and polite. There was an air of distance to it that Loki simply couldn’t blame you for, but it also wasn't anything he couldn’t fix. He flashed his best, most impeccable smile as he laid his suit jacket over a barstool and seated himself on the other.
“Yes, that would be lovely, my dear, thank you.”
On the other side of the counter, you tried to hide the shy smile that crept across your lips, but it was impossible for him to miss. He grinned in return, thinking how lucky he might be to someday get to see that smile every morning.
Shifting his attention, Loki watched closely as you quietly assembled the rest of the contraption before placing it on the range. He may have been slightly out of touch when it came to Midgardian habits, but he did understand coffee to be of great and immeasurable importance to humans. He’d even grown fond of it himself, after several expeditions in his youth to visit each of the Nine Realms.
And he could tell this intricate procedure of yours was dutifully performed every single morning, regardless of how late you’d been up the night before. That it granted you comfort, and just the smallest bit of control amidst the rampant chaos of the world. So he watched carefully, intending to memorize the steps so that someday he could be able to perform this task for you instead.
“Who was at the door earlier?” he asked softly, eager to avoid a return to the previous, more unpleasant conversation you’d almost had before. The one that no longer mattered. “Was it another gentleman caller hoping to have coffee with you?”
You laughed and shook your head while removing a match from the cardboard box. “No. It was just the doorman, if you must know…”
“Doormen still drink coffee, do they not?” Loki teased, his eyes sparkling and his shoulders shrugging innocently.
You struck the match along the textured side of the matchbox. The tip ignited flawlessly, momentarily erupting into a wild, bulbous flame before settling into a controlled burn.
“I mean, if I was your doorman, I’d certainly be up here to have coffee with you every morning…”
“Oh, would you now?” you murmured with a smile, shifting over to the stovetop and carefully adjusting the burner’s dial. You brought the lit match just close enough to ignite the burner, and then blew it out. “Something tells me you wouldn’t be a very good doorman if you were only focused on opening and closing my door…”
This time it was Loki’s turn to laugh. He shifted on the barstool, his long legs splayed wild and leaning closer to you with his elbows on the counter. “Yes, I suppose I’d probably be dismissed pretty quickly, wouldn’t I?”
“Mmhmm. And then you’d have to go to doorman remedial classes to restore your honor,” you grinned playfully while turning on the faucet to run cool water over the extinguished match, just to be certain that it was out completely. “That would be so humiliating, wouldn’t it?”
“Yes, and we can’t have that, can we?” Loki replied, tilting his head curiously. He found your behaviors to be quite intriguing; every action had a specific purpose, a unique rhythm to them. Every item had a designated place, a proper condition that it needed to exist as. You were clearly a meticulously neat person, and he thought it was terribly endearing.
After tossing the thoroughly drenched match into the trash bin, you then pulled a folded cloth out of an overhead cupboard, let it soak under the running water, and then shut the faucet off.
“So, tell me. What is it that exemplary doormen do while they’re on the job? Perhaps I just need a lesson or two…”
Your arm swung in wide circles over the countertop, collecting any spilled coffee grounds with the damp cloth and guiding them into the sink.
“Oh, he was just bringing up the script that was dropped off while I was out last night.” You nodded towards a neat stack of correspondence beside him on the counter. At the very bottom was a large, cream-colored packet with the words “PERSONAL and CONFIDENTIAL” stamped in red ink at each corner.
“Well, that was very thoughtful of him.”
You nodded in agreement. “Apparently he was very excited when he arrived at work this morning and saw it. He just couldn’t wait to bring it up here.”
“I see. And this doorman - is he a strapping young lad?” Loki grinned. It was hard to say if he just wanted to make you smile again, or if he was actually trying to suss out any potential competition for your affections. “A dashing gentleman, eager to impress a beautiful woman such as yourself?”
The countertops now wiped clean, you made an amused and befuddled face as you began to rinse out the washcloth in the sink. “Oh, my God, no! He’s my father’s age, I’ve known him since I was a child.”
Loki’s smile shifted into warmth, his heart full with the reassurance that there were so many people out there who loved and cared about you. He wondered if you knew how lucky you were, and what his life might have looked like if he had been afforded the same luxury.
But as it was, everything seemed to be like it should. The vessel on the range was steadily heating up, thanks to the light blue flames licking up its sides from underneath. Your kitchen was spotless, he had a beautiful companion at his side, and for once, Loki wasn’t being hunted by an enemy hellbent on either killing him or ruining his life again.
“I went to school with his daughter, and she’s still my best friend. So he thinks of me as like a second daughter,” you continued, wringing out the excess water from the cloth and draping it neatly over the faucet’s neck.
“And what about this script made your second father so excited?” Loki asked, trying not to think about the fact that he’d once had two fathers himself, until he’d murdered his biological one. “Is it for a role you hope to get, or for a role you already have?”
You shifted to open another cupboard behind you. Inside, neat and organized stacks of matching dishware of the crispest white awaited your selection. You pulled out two sets of mugs and a saucer for each before turning back towards him. “Oh, it’s for - ”
An unexpected, and loud, electronic chirp interrupted your answer.
You both froze in place, but for very different reasons - your eyebrows raised, and your eyes darted around the flat as though you weren’t sure that you had actually heard the startling noise or not. You certainly had no idea what had caused it, and it showed in your expression.
Loki froze because he knew the sound had come from the TemPad hidden inside his pocket.
⊱ ── ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅ ── ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ── ⊰
Previous Chapter / AO3 Link / Against All Odds Masterlist / Next Chapter
Click here to be added to my Loki fic tag list! 💚
#loki#loki fanfiction#loki laufeyson#loki x female reader#loki smut#loki x reader smut#loki x you#loki imagine#loki fanfic#loki odinson#loki series#marvel x reader#loki fic#loki mcu#marvel#imagine#fanfic#smut#loki imagines#loki x yn#loki laufeyson x reader#loki x reader#loki x y/n#loki angst#against all odds#cee writes
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TUA Tumblr Simulator pt. 1
Find more here: pt. 2
—
🪩traumallama Follow
The Umbrella Academy never should have existed. Those were CHILDREN!! They were THIRTEEN when they first appeared! They KILLED people! Two of them DIED! It really goes to show how much you can do if you have money
FUCK Reginald Hargreeves
🌺thinkingthings Follow
Wait 5 DIED?!
🪩 traumallama Follow
It was never confirmed, but honestly, seems the most likely that they would have just covered it up. If he's still alive, I hope he got to live a nice life without that cult
10,846 notes
💗L0veOnLo4n Follow
Every journalist, interviewer, fan, whatever, who is asking Allison Hargreeves about her brothers or her father should just be sent to space. How would you like it if I bring up your childhood trauma constantly?
🌫️love-h4te-whatevs Follow
Didn't she like kill people?
💗L0veOnLo4n Follow
She was a CHILD! It was all planned by their father, he was the one who "trained" them. He should go to prison but that won't ever happen. Not to mention he didn't just adopt those children, he bought them
3,245 notes
🌌jupiters-moons Follow
WE GOT A BEHIND THE SCENES UMBRELLA ACADEMY BOOK OWNDNAOWOE
🌌jupiters-moons Follow
I am so excited to go read this
🌌jupiters-moons Follow
Starting off: WOW Reginald Hargreeves was an even bigger asshole behind closed doors. Who would have thought?
🌌jupiters-moons Follow
Okay, okay okay WHAT WHAT WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?!!
ALLISON Hargreeves and Spaceboy were IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER?!
WEREN'T THEY LIKE SIBLINGS?!
I know the book says that they weren't really a family... But they were?? They are clearly described as brothers and sisters?
🌌jupiters-moons Follow
Had to put the book down for a while
Gosh, that so surprised me
I used to have the BIGGEST crush on Spaceboy but now I doubt I can think of them the same way ever again
🌌jupiters-moons Follow
Calmed down, I'll continue now
🌌jupiters-moons Follow
BIG MISTAKE, BIG MISTAKE
WHY ARE YOU TELLING US ABOUT THE TIME YOUR MOTHER TOLD YOU AT DINNER THAT YOUR BROTHER HAD HIS FIRST WET DREAM!
That does NOT belong in a book!
🌌jupiters-moons Follow
Drug addiction by age 13, damn
🌕eyestothesun Follow
Wait who was addicted to drugs
🌨️twirlingandwhirling Follow
The Séance. Kinda surprised so many people are shocked about this. There are quite a few interviews with them in which it is just blatantly obvious. Look at his eyes in this one for example. Or in this one he is so chill, not really there, but his siblings do all the talking
🌳drrrrreams Follow
Wow first time I've heard about this but this is so... Incredibly sad.
👥lurkeringlurrlurr Follow
Honestly? I'm more surprised that not more of them are addicts after all they've been through
🌌jupiters-moons Follow
Thanks for the additions!
Five's tragical disappearance. This is the worst part of it by far. They were so close and you can just feel the grief. And to never know what happened, damn
And one of their brothers can see dead people...
I don't know if I'd want to ask him or not. Asking for closure's sake, but if you don't, there is still hope that he'll come back some day.
This is just so sad
🌌jupiters-moons Follow
Spoke too soon, it can get sadder
Ben was their glue, his death was so brutal. He died so young and so painful, I can't imagine what that must be like. For him or for the siblings.
No wonder they disbanded after that. It makes you question your own mortality
8,799 notes
🚵rolly-molly Follow
Wait what happened to Spaceboy? Did he give up on missions and move out?
🤺theyseemen0t Follow
He died
🚵rolly-molly Follow
WHAT
🤺theyseemen0t Follow
I mean, it was never confirmed, but he got really badly injured on his last mission, lethally, and hasn't been seen since
🚵rolly-molly Follow
I had no idea. Rest in Peace
🍇thelandbeforewine Follow
False news, he got injured, but he survived. Otherwise we would have known about it from "Extra Ordinary" which came out last week, given that all the other family secrets were shared in it.
🚵rolly-molly Follow
Ohh, thank you so much! That makes me really happy, I was really worried
2,840 notes
#tua#the umbrella academy#fake post#unreality#fake tumblr dash#fake tumblr post#umbrella academy#extra ordinary#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#allison hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#five hargreeves#ben hargreeves#viktor hargreeves#tua tumblr au#tua tumblr
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Reactions to Chaos Creator's Chapter 266
New title - 33. Do You Think It's Possible With Your Own Power?
TL;DR - Cale reveals that he was an otherworlder sent by a god to stop the god-wannabe dragon. Freedom spies on the emperor. Jungwon says that Dragon Lord came to visit him. Cale is troubled because of gamer Alberu.
The Discussion First half of the chapter was a continuation of Cale's "discussion" with Emperor Alt. Cale revealed about his otherworlder status and his mission, giving Alt false hopes of power when Cale added that he would leave this world after his mission was done.
Of course, Cale knew that Alt's ambition would be hard to achieve, especially when King Dennis was present. Dennis had slyly offered to assign "aides" who would do chores for the mages and swordsmen in Cale's group.
With the great upheaval happening 200 years ago, magic and swordsmanship naturally regressed, so Cale understood why Dennis wanted his kingdom's theoretical mages and reserve swordsmen to "become aides" of the mages and knights in Cale's group. So Cale agreed to Dennis's offer, referring him to Ron and Rosalyn.
The Messages It seemed like the area near the ruined temple of the Chaos God was a no-signal place because Sui's group stopped contacting them after teleporting there. And while Cale was thinking of eventually going there too, he received two messages.
One was from Jungwon who said that the Dragon Lord personally visited him. What? How? Did the Central Plains have a World Tree where the Dragon Lord could use to trace the source of the world and talk to Jungwon, like how he did in Aipotu?
But Cale was more alarmed to read the 2nd message which was from Alberu. Yeah, Cale's bad premonition was correct. Alberu had indeed become an obsessed gamer! 🤣🤣🤣
Alberu's message: I heard that the game is getting a large update patch. It's said that from now on, game users can also build a nation. I plan to try it too. Cale: Ha! Alberu's message: FYI, I was selected as a Rising Newbie, a rising powerhouse among newbies. I think I will participate in the best rookie competition as Roan's representative. Cale: Ha! (Alberu Crossman. That person plans to establish a kingdom in a virtual reality game and be the king. And what? Rising Newbie? How immersed were you in the game to get a title like that!) Cale: *video calls Alberu* Alberu: What? I'm busy now, okay? *moving his pen nonstop* Cale: *shocked* Alberu: What's wrong? What happened? Raon: H-Human! The crown prince has puffy eyes! His cheeks are sunken! We have to give the crown prince 10- no, 100 apple pies! Cale: *covers face with both hands* Aren't you tired? Alberu: *stops writing and smiles* You mean doing both work and games? Cale: Yes. Isn't it better to do it in moderation? Alberu: *shrugs* Isn't it worth a try? Raon: T-The crown prince looks like my human now! Cale: This is driving me crazy.
Oh how the tables have turned. Cale and Alberu have switched their iconic lines of "It's worth a try" and "This is driving me crazy" 🤣🤣🤣 And that Rising Newbie title. Yeah, that's pretty much confirmation of Alberu's game addiction. What have you done to him, Cale?
Ending Remarks The last part about gamer Alberu was hilarious. Next chapter would be Cale's meeting with the pope. I guess we're going to find out soon the chaos the three troublemakers had done there. 😂
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Fallen Sapphire Tears (Yandere!Sunday x Reader x Yandere!Aventurine)
My last little post got me thinking…who else would share?
Then I decided I can force people to share for the fun of it! I figured it’d be interesting to see the striking balance between Sunday and Aventurine—both so vastly different characters, and figured out they’d fit one soul quite nicely—so, enjoy!
Spoilers for the new 2.2 quest up ahead and general yandere content trigger warnings! Oh and pregnancy allusions.
Aventurine and Sunday would both enjoy a justice-oriented darling—not just any justice either, but lawful and distinct justice, the kind casts away nuance in favor of the black and white stance and hope.
Aventurine obviously notices you first in this sweet dream and wishes to indulge you in a wager—it only gets him more antsy when you decline on principle, a wager so large means either he’s an addict, or can surely win, right? So what point would there be in playing…
He stands still in that answer—certainly not the first time he’s heard a no or been called an addict but it’s the first he’s been called an addict while saying no. In your eyes, too, it seems like you vaguely care about the former. He laughs it off then.
But continues to think heavily.
When you come back—it only intrigues him more.
Too bad he has to take a quick curtain call.
Sunday met you after, much later once you and Aventurine become close acquaintances almost friends. He notices your looks first—beauty to him, not in how orderly you look per se but…in how your clothes all fit a distinct role and place, how the style of your hair even if not particularly styled balances out this order of roles. Even disheveled homeless men have a certain look to them determined by the roles of their clothes—and you encompass that to him.
It kept his eye on you enough so that when you chose your answers…when you spoke of justice behind your choice in every section. To save a bird is just, to let the law catch a man willing to send his own children whom we don’t even know exist, and to support his dear sister despite him not..it all was quite eye opening to him on the justice his order needed.
He wouldn’t kidnap you immediately only because he would take great care in making your cage—only to then find Aventurine having found you and offering you to leave this place.
They should have killed eachother right then and there—but somehow, a word became a conversation and they came to an agreement.
Of course, they would keep you in the cage together—Aventurine could find and exploit every weakness in the cage crafted to before you had the chance to, and hide information about you from anyone else who would ask. Sunday keeps the cage crafted and gives instruction as needed. Even if it means a bitter false defeat to keep a hidden you.
Aventurine spends most days with you—when he isn’t working you two play games, even if you don’t want to he still tries to play with you, and he often orders take out—can even do a little cooking if you ask. He’s almost moldable—doing as you ask as long as it isn’t escaping related or not keeping an eye on you.
Sunday spends nights with you—sometimes there’s idle chatter with a dinner or late night snack and conversation of the world—but oftentimes it’s silent cuddling as he holds you. Perhaps even Aventurine too if that’s what it took to hold you.
Everything quickly becomes boring and mundane with them—and they know how to keep it that way.
You have a list of small chores while housekeeping does the rest, which is a light dust in some areas and tidying up basic things. It’s so domestic that it almost feels like you’re a rich housewife without a care to actually clean…
Funnily enough, being the last of a kind is gettting to Aventurine and of course Sunday is rather…family-oriented.
Perhaps it is time for another discussion.
AN: Ik it’s short and scattered but I’m thinking of writing like an actual fic for this one so it’s going to stay like this for now.
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hi!
i was wondering if i could request a slytherin boy reacts or a imagine up to you
but what about reader who’s starting to have a drug addiction and they are daiting her and she’s turning into a crappy person but they love her so they try and help her
M.R. || Tell your baby that i’m your baby
Summary: In the midst of substance abuse and a relationship in crisis with Mattheo Riddle, you face a painful intervention from worried friends, leading to an emotional breakdown in the arms of your best friend, Pansy.
Warnings: abuse in substance use, potential trigger.
A/N: I apologize for the delay in the request, but I really had a hard time getting inspired... I reinforce here the importance of seeking help in cases like this. I hope you like it!
Open orders!
The morning light invaded the room, crossing the half-open curtains and spreading across the wooden floor as a cruel reminder of the reality you didn't want to face. The distant echo of last night's party still reverberated in his mind, accompanied by an insistent headache and an exhaustion that seemed to consume everything around him. Since you and Mattheo started getting involved, parties have become a common scenario. He, always the center of attention, with his carefree and enigmatic way, attracted everyone around him. And you, always by your side, immersed in a mixture of pleasure and adrenaline that offered the temporary escape you wanted so much.
At first, it was all light. A marijuana cigarette here, a drink there. Mattheo never intended to drag you to a darker path, but before you even met him, you were already flirting with something more dangerous. It came from a family that exerted invisible but overwhelming pressures. The expectation of perfection, the weight of a surname, everything you did never seemed to be enough. Substances were a way to escape, to anesthetize the pain it carried inside. What began as curiosity quickly turned into an insidious habit, always with the excuse ready: "I stop whenever I want." But over time, this promise seemed more and more distant and empty.
You thought you were hiding well, but your closest friends began to notice the changes. Pansy, always attentive and insightful, was the first to notice. During one of the recent parties, she saw you running to the women's bathroom, her look disturbed and her hands trembling. When she entered, she found you using cocaine in the sink, her eyes dilated and lost in an abyss she couldn't reach.
She was in shock, unable to believe what she saw.
- Are you sure of what you're doing? - she asked, her voice low, but loaded with genuine concern.
- I know how to take care of myself, Pans. - You answered, with a false confidence, the same mask you wore for everyone. Pansy knew that it was a lie, a sign that things were much worse than anyone imagined.
She was the one who told Mattheo. One night, when he could no longer stand his emotional absence and erratic behaviors, Pansy hesitated, but knew he needed to know.
- She won't forgive me for that - she said to him, as she saw his gaze harden with the revelation. - But she's sinking, and you need to do something.
Mattheo already suspected it. The frequent escapades, the erratic behavior, the lies. Theodore, always more reserved, had also talked about his concerns, about how his behavior at parties was becoming unpredictable, and how he and Pansy were genuinely concerned. "You are no longer the same," Theo once said, looking deep into his eyes, trying to find the friend who seemed to have disappeared. But you always avoided these confrontations.
Now, sitting on the edge of the bed, Mattheo seemed distant, lost in thoughts you would prefer him not to have. The silence in the room was suffocating, broken only by the heavy and slow breathing of both. He had spent the night reflecting on what Pansy had told him and every time his friends looked at you with a mixture of worry and sadness, but they never knew what to say.
- We need to talk. - he said, finally, without even turning to face you.
You turned to the side, trying to ignore the weight of your words, the body still heavy from the excesses of the night before.
- About what, Matt? It was just another party. You don't have to do drama.
He got up, taking a few steps around the room before finally staring at you. The look, usually so carefree and seductive, was now loaded with a seriousness that bothered you deeply.
- It's not just about the party. It's about you. About what's happening to you.
Those words hit like a punch. The air became heavy, the light morning weather dissipating while the subject you had been avoiding for so long finally emerged.
- I'm fine. You're exaggerating. - you replied, trying to move away the gravity of the moment.
Mattheo took another step forward, the frustration now clearly visible.
- I'm not exaggerating. Pansy told me what happened. She saw you.
His stomach sank when he heard this. A wave of anger and shame rose through his body, mixed with the desperate need to defend himself.
- She had no right to tell you.
- Of course there was. - Mattheo replied, her voice firm. - She's worried about you. Theo too. We all are. You're no longer in control, and I can't pretend this is normal anymore.
His words cut like a sharp blade. Anger bubbled in his veins, uncontrollable.
- I'll stop whenever I want! I don't need anyone to tell me what to do! - your voice was loud, hard, loaded with an aggressiveness that masked the truth you refused to admit: you were completely out of control.
He shook his head, his eyes full of sadness and exhaustion.
- You always say that, but it never stops. And it's getting worse every day. This is consuming you, and I can't watch it anymore.
- I know what I'm doing! - you screamed, the anger overflowing, the body shaking.
Mattheo sighed, his shoulders falling, as if carrying the weight of an unbearable burden.
- I just want to help you, but you're not letting me. I won't lose you for that.
His words hovered in the air, but you were blinded by anger and pride. Without answering, you turned around, marching towards the door.
- I don't need your help! - he repeated, more to himself than to him, before slamming the door hard, leaving him alone with his unspoken words.
When leaving the room, the hallway seemed suffocating. The air was heavy and oppressive, the walls seemed to close around it. Anger was still burning, but underneath it, something darker and more painful moved - an overwhelming loneliness that you refused to face.
It was then that you saw Pansy in the hallway, the look immediately worried when he noticed the tears on his face and the crumpled clothes of the night before. She approached with caution, but with determination.
- Hey, how are you? - the soft voice, but full of concern.
- What do you think, Pansy? - you shot, the voice harsh and bitter. - You saw me yesterday. And he was still running to tell Mattheo.
Pansy sighed, stopping in front of him, without letting himself be shaken by his aggressiveness.
- I told you because I'm worried about you. Because I love you and I won't be with my arms crossed.
- Why does everyone think they know what's best for me? - you shouted, anger mixed with frustration and pain. - You don't know anything!
She took another step, determined.
- I know you're suffering. And no matter how much you push me away, I won't give up on you.
Her words finally broke something inside you. Anger was replaced by an overwhelming despair. You tried to resist, but when Pansy hugged you firmly, you collapsed into your arms, sobbing uncontrollably.
- I can't do it anymore... - you murmured, your voice broken by pain. - I don't know what to do.
Pansy held you harder.
- You don't have to do it alone. I'm here.
But despite this moment of vulnerability, something dark continued to grow inside you. In the days that followed, instead of accepting the help, you started pretending. Dissimulate. It showed others what they wanted to see, while the addiction deepened. Laugh at the right times, smile in the conversations. But behind that, you were increasingly sunk in drugs, more and more isolated.
Mattheo, however, saw through his mask. He found evidence that you had never stopped. When he confronted you again, the tension between you was unbearable.
- You never stopped, did you? - he asked, his voice full of frustration.
- I'm fine. - You lied once again.
- No, you're not. And he never was. - he replied, in disbelief.
Without taking it anymore, you left again, disappearing for days, isolated at home. When you returned to Hogwarts, the abyss between you, your boyfriend and your friends seemed irreparable. Mattheo and Pansy were astonished, unable to fully understand the depth of their denial. Each encounter turned into an emotional battle, with sharp words and intense discussions that only deepened the division.
His routine was full of lies and hiding places. The parties, formerly his refuge, were now an arena of internal confrontation. The momentary relief of substances was quickly replaced by a cycle of guilt and despair. You saw yourself sunk in a loneliness that you could not escape, a loneliness that manifested itself not only in moments of silence, but also in the way you moved away from everyone who tried to help you.
The void I was trying to fill with drugs was becoming an even bigger hole. His nights in the clear were filled with the echo of his own lies and the growing feeling that he was losing his own identity. The mirror, which once reflected a person full of life and promising, now showed someone almost unrecognizable, worn and dejected.
Finally, on an especially dark night, when the feeling of hopelessness seemed almost unbearable, you found yourself again in the aisle of Hogwarts, a place that now seemed so far from home. The mind was in turmoil, and the words of Mattheo, Pansy and Theodore echoed without ceasing. The need to escape was overwhelming, but the feeling of being cornered, with no way out, finally began to prevail.
It was then that you had a painful epiphany, a moment of clarity that emerged from the crisis. Maybe, just maybe, there was a way out of this labyrinth of pain and denial. The first step was to recognize that control had been lost a long time ago and that it really needed help.
With a heavy heart and a shaken spirit, you decided to seek help. It was a small but crucial step, and you knew it wouldn't be easy. Mattheo, Pansy and Theodore were there to support you, and with a renewed effort, you began to seek the support you needed. It was the beginning of a long and arduous path, but for the first time in a long time, there was a spark of hope on the horizon. And for the first time, you were willing to fight for yourself, to face the truth and finally begin to rebuild what had been broken.
____________________________
masterlist
xoxo, bee🫶🏼✨
#harry potter#hp#slytherin#y/n#harrypotter#theodore nott#theodore nott x reader#draco#lorenzo zurzolo#draco malfoy#mattheo riddle x y/n#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo fluff#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo x you#mattheoxreader#mattheo x y/n#mattheo riddle smut#mattheo riddle#mattheo imagine#mattheo x oc#mattheo angst#pansy parkinson#tw drugs
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Moody Man Simon Riley LOVES the holidays. I will not accept any arguments as this case is CLOSED!
(ノ´ з `)ノ!🎄 I’m feeling festive ¡
• A constant side-eye during turkey day dinner, knowing you’ll make him and everyone else get up and help with the decorations sometime soon.
• Simon complaining about the stench of cinnamon sticking to him for days on end.
* “C'mon Simon, you smell great!” You tease, patting him on the arm. The man merely waved you off and headed to bed with red eyes. “I think I’m allergic to that stuff.” to which you would scoff and reply with “And I’m allergic to washing the dishes, you don’t see me complaining.”
• Your bulky husband hiding upstairs when your nieces and nephews visit; knowing you’ll force him to put on that itchy fake beard as well as the too-squeaky boots that he tried to get rid of.
• Simon randomly deciding to mess with you by pouring a cup of snow on you whilst you were in a trance, watching ‘The Polar Express’.
* “Thats payback for the cinnamon shampoo.”
• Having to keep replacing the tree’s candy canes because of someone being a peppermint addict.
• Simon dying on the inside when carolers show up.
* Looking at you for an escape that you avoid with false claims of checking on a nonexistent baby.
• Having tiny disputes on where to set the tree.
* “Why would you want it directly in front of the window? Blockin’ the sun out,” he reasons, standing in front of the tree as a guard. Your eyes turn to slits. “Because I worked hard to decorate it and the neighborhood should see it.” He’s unconvinced, eyebrows pinching as he stares back at you, but he doesn’t say anything further. He would rather implode than admit that he would maybe enjoy the sight of the winter's first snowfall.
• Simon has a preference for older Christmas movies and says the new ones are all cringeworthy romcoms or too emotional.
• Inappropriate sweaters together <3
* SWEATing his ass off when your parent insists that he takes his coat off for dinner. Maybe stopping by with a reindeer shagging another on his sweater wasn’t the best idea.
• Flirting with him, asking to sit on his lap for a new ‘wish’ every day.
• Simon having at least three different videos of you slipping on ice and busting your ass.
* “Simon~” you whine, eyes getting watery from anger and pain. Your husband would let out a haughty laugh and begin to trek through the snow. “Don’t cry, I’m comin’,” he would tease you until his boots suddenly gave way and threw him face-first into muddy snow.
• Lovey-Dovey cuddle days, holding hands and playing with his ringed hand.
• Taking credit for Simon’s beautiful handwriting on gifts with a massive grin on your face.
• Kissing him when you notice that his lips are chapped.
* He would smirk, looking at you with confused pleasure. “What was that?” to which you would just shrug and coyly look away, paying mind to the Christmas parade. “Thought you looked a little chapped ‘is all.”
- He would SO call you cheeky for that.
• Your husband getting protective when your male coworkers give you gifts that just seem (in his words) ‘Too Thoughtful’
* “Simon, seriously?” you scold, hand on your hip and he seriously pouts on the sofa, “It’s just a cheap perfume.” But those dark and untelling eyes would glance at you before he turned back to the television, grumbling “Bought you that because he wants you to smell nice for him.” He’s such a man-baby during the holidays.
• Simon being passionate about hot cocoa.
* Do NOT make your cocoa with water around him. This man will look at you as if you were drinking a mug of dirt.
• You stuffing him with treats and seasonal recipes as he watches you cook.
* Smiling with a cupcake in hand, you trot over and gently lift his chin, “Mint red velvet with some caramel, trust me.” But he would pause and slowly bring his eyes to the cupcake in horror. You lost him at ‘Mint’. But hubby would never say no to you.
• Making each other search for their hidden gift on Christmas Eve.
* You’d follow Simon to your bedroom, rubbing your hands together like a mouse. You hid his gift in your toiletry drawer. It was the perfect strategy and he would never-
“Is it in there?” he would stand in your shared bathroom, pointing to the only drawer he's never used, his eyes blankly blinking at you. “You cheater!”
• Husband putting his cold hands in the back pockets of your jeans.
• The two of you deciding to pull an all-nighter for Christmas, drinking wines and dining on finger foods until it was time for gift opening.
• Underneath your tree would be LOADED with gifts for each other, more than your friends’ gifts combined.
• Simon giving you that look as you beam at him, holding the very thing he said he wouldn’t buy for you because it was apparently “Too expensive.”
• Smothering him in kisses and thanking him in different ways.
• Watching your husband as he cooly tries on the new clothing and shoes you bought him. He would shrug his new coat on and look at you with a smirk. “Like it?”
- Heart Eyes.
• So many pictures are being printed after New Year's, and most of them are candids of your friends and family, as well as your dearest, Simon Riley.
sneaking back into the writing game👀
#call of duty imagines#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#call of duty#cod fluff#ghost x reader#ghost call of duty#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#cod headcanons#simon riley headcanons#ghost headcanons#Holiday#headcanons
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