#the actor symbolism and text runs DEEP

[captain-nohbo]

I want people to consider that Loops feelings towards Siffrin is basically seeing you understudy be more acclaimed than you

[memes-saved-me]

Billy Hargrove and Mirrors

The scene I wanted to focus on the most is of course from season 2 when Billy is getting ready for his date with a mystery person. He is hyping himself up, doing his hair and smoking but most importantly this is all done while we see it happening in his reflection. It constantly cuts back to the action he is performing in the mirror instead of just showing us his getting ready routine we see what he sees as he does it.

However, this shot right here is what I want to talk about specifically because it is the first time he is smiling, he is to the audience in a good and happy mood. Which is great but when it comes to the symbolism of mirrors in TV and film that text is thrown out the window and one could see Billy as instead deceiving the audience as such. Reflections can means distortion, deception, delusion but most importantly contrast.

The moment Billy is brought back to reality, his real life getting in the way of his deception to not only himself but those around him he loses the smile and confidence instantly. The contrast is gone and the mirror instead shows the truth behind Billy which is fear. Dacre is a brilliant actor so the sudden shift of his eyes and the fact they leave himself and instead turn towards the threat show this perfectly.

Mirrors reflect light and the show the true surroundings they are placed in meaning this right here when Billy finally looks away from himself and to the world around him his reflection shows the truth of it.

The next time we see Billy's reflection he is in a very similar situation, he is on his way to meet a date. Again he is hyping himself up, practicing what he is going to say like some sort of act. One he puts on in the mirror to make sure it is working, deception. A distorted version of himself he uses mostly around women but I have a whole post about that. This happening before he is interrupted by a metaphoric figure for his abusive father, the Mindflayer. Both times he is seen using his reflection to deceive.

He is in fact still looking at himself when the Mindflayer attacks him. Just as he was before Susan called out for him. The scenes are obviously written to contrast each other and show that even if Billy tries to lie and distort his image he will always be shown the truth but in this case he ends up becoming the host and most likely figuring out why Max was at the Byers the night of the first scene.

The final reflection I want to talk about is when Billy has trapped the group inside of the Mall and is threatening to run them down if they try to escape. Now we see a truly distorted version of Billy, flayed and now controlled by a force much stronger than himself. But in this case he is not looking at himself but forward at the people he is targeting, which means that this reflection is that of the true state of him in this scene. There is no deception because Billy cannot control himself and just like the other cases, is not looking at himself in the reflection.

Which makes this scene even more interesting as Billy was even confronted by a physical reflection of himself but it is wrong, a deceiving clone that wants him to do as it says. One could even say that the clone he sees is what he becomes by the last reflection of himself in front of the Mall. All of this is made even more significant as he is looking directly at it, he is seeing a distorted and deceptive version of himself just as he does every other time he is shown looking at himself in the mirror.

Whether the connection between Billy looking at himself and his reflection being a distorted version of himself but when he looks away it shows the truth was intentional or not it sure is interesting so I hope this either brought this to your attention or made you think "wow she looked way too deep into this one" thanks for reading!

[michellejackson]

PART ONE PART TWO PART TREE PART FOUR

Fandom: Druck

Pairing: Fatou Jallow/Kieu My Vu

Wordcount: 2754

Fatou is confused. Kieu My is cold. They are both sad.

FATOU’S POV

Fatou had absolutely no idea what just happened. None. Zero. Nada.

She was left standing in her hallway, confused as to what just happened, what to do, and most importantly, how the hell she ended up in a romantic relationship with Yara. She couldn’t follow Kieu My out the door, she was frozen. She should’ve followed her out the door. Instead, she just stood there for a minute, willing for her friend to come back, to let her try to confess her love one last time.

Minutes went by, but she didn’t move an inch. Not before the handle on the door moved and the door opened. That’s when she sprung to action, quickly moving closer to door,

“Kieu My-”

It wasn’t Kieu My. It was Ilai.

“Ow” he backed away from her while carrying multiple grocery bags.

“Expecting Kieu My? I thought she was already here?”

After just looking at him in disbelief, she took some bags from him, leaving him standing the doorway and moved towards the kitchen to unload the groceries. At least that’s one way to get her mind off things. Ilai took a notice of her silence and followed her close behind.

“Hey, are you okay? Did something happen?”

Fatou ignored him and continued to load the fridge. Ilai just stood behind her in silence, waiting for her to speak. She didn’t. She knew she wasn’t being fair, but right now she didn’t care. Fuck being fair. Kieu My wasn’t being fair to her when she raced out of her house in the middle of her trying to open up.

Tears started to fill her eyes, and for a moment she felt irrationally angry. Why wouldn’t Kieu My let her finish? She had finally decided to tell her, why wouldn’t she just let her tell her?

“What? Did you reveal your undying love for Kieu My and get rejected?” he laughed teasingly, but Fatou dropped a jar of pickles to the floor.

“FUCK” she exclaimed as she fell to the floor with it.

She could feel the tears overflowing and start to run down her face as she raised a hand to wipe them off. Uncontrollable sobs escaped her, and she wanted to laugh. This was pathetic. She couldn’t even hold a glass jar. She was a mess. She couldn’t do anything right. This is why Kieu My left. She knew Fatou was about to confess and tried to let her down gently the only way she could think of, by leaving. Of course Kieu My wouldn’t want her. Where did all of her confidence even come from? She couldn’t believe that for a second, just a second, she actually thought Kieu My had understood, and that she had felt the same way, but then she pushed her into a fake relationship with Yara and ran out.

Could they even come back from this? Not once had Fatou thought about what would happen if Kieu My didn’t feel the same way, and now she had to live with the consequences. How did she even think this would go? Did she really believe that Kieu My would reveal that somehow, she loved her too? She felt so stupid.

“Shit, I’m sorry” she let out as Ilai asked if she was okay. She could feel his arms going around her as he cradled her while she cried.

“What’s going on?” he asked, more serious now that he’d finally read the room.

“I tried to confess my undying love for Kieu My and got rejected” she said in what was supposed to be a mocking tone, but instead sounded pitiful. She tried to laugh at the situation, but the sobs wouldn’t stop.

“Oh honey.”

-

Fatou spent the next day looking for Kieu My while at the same time trying to avoid her. The embarrassment from the day before was still consuming her. She wouldn’t know what to say even if she saw her, but she knew she had to apologize. She hadn’t slept all night, she looked like a mess and felt even worse. She realized that it had been unfair of her to spring all of this on Kieu My when she knew she had something else going on. The anger that consumed her last night had all evaporated. Ilai had calmed her down and she’d realized that she wasn’t at all mad at Kieu My, she was mad at herself.

Instead of Kieu My, she spotted Yara waving at her from the ping pong table. Fatou looked around one last time before walking over to her. She didn’t bother to greet her friend, instead she just laid down on the ping pong table and shielded her face from the sun with her arm.

“What’s got you in a mood?” Yara asked as she laid down beside her.

“We’re dating”

“what.”

Silence.

“Babe, not that I don’t think you’re an absolute catch, but Ava just broke up with Marc and I’m living with a false hope that she’ll realize that he was trash all along and that her relationship with him was just a way for her to unconsciously get over the fierily love she has for me.”

Fatou blinked at Yara’s playful expression before she sat up.

“I talked to Kieu My last night.”

Yara’s eyes widened, “oh my god, did you finally tell her? why didn’t you start with that? How did it go?” she talked so fast, Fatou didn’t even have a chance to get a word in. Yara looked so excited it broke her heart. She really believed it would go well. However, her excitement disappeared when she saw the look on Fatou’s face

“Fatou, please tell me that you didn’t chicken out and instead decided to tell her we’re dating? I’m a shitty actor.”

Fatou laughed at this, and Yara grinned, then she took Fatou’s hands in hers and kissed them as a sign of support.

“No, really. What happened?”

She sighed, “ugh, I don’t know, I thought we were having a moment, I thought it was the right moment, you know? So I told her I wanted to talk about my feeling regarding her and then she just closed off. Her whole expression changed, and she just started talking about how happy she was for me, for us, US, as in ME and YOU…”

Yara looked at her funny as Fatou continued,

“I don’t even know where that came from? I… I think she tried to let me down easy or something? But… she didn’t even give me a change to tell her the truth! She just left right after.” She took a deep beath before continuing, “and now I feel horrible, because I just sprung it on her even though I knew she had something else going on… she didn’t need this right now, I should’ve realized that.”

She talked so fast; she wasn’t sure if Yara even knew what she was saying. She looked around again for Kieu My while Yara jumped down from the ping pong table to stand between Fatou’s legs, sighing as she moved closer and cupped her face. Fatou didn’t move, she took comfort in Yara’s close proximity, and she knew Yara didn’t feel for her like that, just like she didn’t feel that way for her. She smiled at her, and Fatou tried to smile back as she spoke,

“she said she saw us on New Year’s and ‘knew’ since then.”

Yara didn’t say anything for a while, but when she did, it was clear she was done, “lord help me y’all are so clueless”

She now moved to put her hands around Fatou’s neck and hugged her close.

“Fatou, you should find her and tell her that you’re in love with her, I’m sure yesterday was just a huge misunderstanding, if you thought Kieu My were dating someone else, would you still confess your feelings for her?”

Fatou sighed. “The universe hates me”.

“The universe doesn’t hate you, it’s not its fault you and Kieu My can’t get your shit together” Yara laughed and let go off the hug to look Fatou in the eyes as she spoke, “and you’re not in the wrong for wanting to share your feeling with your best friend, so stop feeling bad about it.”

“What if this isn’t a good idea? I don’t want to add to her problems... I don’t want to become a problem.”

Yara moves away from her and throws her hands up in the air,

“Please! I literally thought you were dating the second I saw you! You’re always hanging out, always holding hands or leaning on each other or literally doing anything to touch each other, Fatou, honestly, you cannot tell me that you think Kieu My isn’t into you, she ran out because she’s sad because she THINKS you don’t like her back! Her eyes turn into literal hearts just looking at you!”

She slowed down,

“try one last time, Fatou, okay? She’s worth that, isn’t she?”

-

Kieu My didn’t show up at school that day. Or the next one. Fatou had tried to call her and message her multiple times the last few days to no avail. So… she did what any creep would do. She showed up at her place.

Not without warning though, Kieu My knew she was coming. She hoped. She’d sent a message what went unanswered and possibly unseen, but she did tell her. This didn’t make her less nervous. Kieu My would expect this, right? No one has heard from her in days, she’d texted both Zoe and Ismail, and they said they hadn’t heard from her either. She must know that someone was bound to check up on her. That she would check up on her. Fatou was really starting to worry, so before she could overthink it some more, she rang the doorbell.

It took a while before anyone answered, and Fatou would be lying if she said she didn’t almost run away in that time,

“yes?” uhm well, it’s still time.

Kieu My’s voice sounded muffled over the comms, and Fatou could hear that she was tired, maybe this was a bad idea-

“who is this?”

Well, it’s now or never.

“It’s me, can we talk?”

It went quiet again, and Fatou was getting unsure of whether Kieu My would decide to let her in or not. She jumped when the buzzer rang, symbolizing that the door was open. Despite everything, she didn’t hesitate before going inside.

She tried not to run up the stairs, but when she reached the right floor her breath was uneven. Taking a moment to herself, she tried to hype herself up. She could do this. She just needed to say the words, and to let Kieu My know. It would be fine if she didn’t feel the same way. She just wanted her to be okay and to know the truth. It’s fine that she doesn’t feel the same way. You’ll still be friends; she’ll still care about you-

The door to her apartment opened and there she was.

Kieu My was wearing baggy sweatpants and a neon green tank top. Her hair was tied up in a bun and she looked breathtaking as always. Fatou tried to smile at her as she slowly walked into the apartment, closing the door behind her. She didn’t take her shoes off, not sure if she would be kicked out or not.

They stood face to face now.

Fatou had been right. Kieu My was tired, the bags under her eyes were proof of that. She hugged herself, shivering. It wasn’t cold, so it made Fatou wonder if maybe she really was sick, and that’s why she’d been staying home. Fatou tried to ask if she was okay, but were cut off by Kieu My’s low voice,

“Why are you here?”

“I wanted to see if you’re okay”

“I’m fine.”

This was going great. Fatou started to fumble with a pack of gum she had in her pocket, working out her nerves.

“Do you maybe want to sit down?”

“We can do this here” her back straightened, and instead of cradling herself, she now crossed her arms. Putting up a front.

“What do you want, Fatou?”

Right to it then. “I want to talk to you about the other day”

“What’s there to talk about” she didn’t phrase this as a question, more like a there’s absolutely nothing to talk about, please stop talking. Fatou didn’t stop talking though.

“Kieu My, you practically ran out on me”

“I didn’t feel well”

“I realize that, but why haven’t you been answering any of my messages or calls? I’ve been worried about you, and I really need to tell you something-”

“GOD, Fatou! I don’t have to talk to you all the time! Can’t you take a hint? I didn’t want to talk to you! I don’t want to talk to you! I need some space, okay!? I NEED to be alone. Go talk to your girlfriend or something…”

Kieu My sounded so distressed, it shocked Fatou into a silence while she took in her outburst. While her words hurt, Fatou could see that Kieu My was tearing up, and with that her worry only grew.

“Kieu My, what’s going on with you? Did something happen?”

Tears started to roll down Kieu My’s face as she started to laugh and continued to laugh until it turned almost manic.

“Please just talk to me” Fatou moved closer to Kieu My and took her hand in hers. Kieu My snatched it back.

Fatou looked up at her. Her expression had turned cold. Fatou knew that look. She had never been on the receiving end of it, but she’d always pitied those who were. The tears continued to fall down, but Kieu My acted like they weren’t even there. She took a step back.

“You’re not my mom, Fatou, just leave it. I don’t need you hovering over me all the time, it’s exhausting, okay?-”

“Kieu My-”

“No, you listen, okay? I don’t want to talk about the other day, I don’t want to talk about your feelings and I ESPECIALLY don’t want to talk about your girlfriend! I’m tired, Fatou, I’m TIRED, okay? Leave. Just leave.”

Fatou was silent. She couldn’t even feel the tears running down her face. Kieu My sounded so angry, and while Fatou still worried for her, it also made her mad. What right did Kieu My have to be mad? Why did she suddenly think that pushing her away was fine? They’d been friends for forever, and now she just wants to cut her off? And for what? She didn’t do anything! or she didn’t know if she had done anything, because Kieu My wouldn’t talk to her!

Yeah, she was getting angry. Fuck this.

“You know what? I will leave. I can tell that you’re not in the mood for civil conversation, so I won’t make you talk to me.”

Kieu My looked relieved, but she wasn’t done.

“But I will make you listen to me. This is not a one-sided friendship, Kieu My, I’ve been trying to talk to you about my feelings twice now and both times you’ve cut me off. I don’t know if it’s because you don’t care about me or if you’re just trying to avoid an awkward situation, but I don’t think either of those reasons make up for you talking to me like this.”

Fatou looked at Kieu My as the hold she had on herself tightened, trying to hide her shame. She still looked at Fatou with a stone-cold expression, but the eyes did not match the rest of her face. She wasn’t going to apologize now, but she would. Fatou knew that. They were both silent as Fatou turned to walk out of the apartment.

“And for the record, I’m not with Yara, I never was with Yara. No matter how much you want me to be with her I never will, I only made out with her on New Year’s to make you jealous, which obviously was a ridiculous idea in the first place, because I know you’ll never feel for me the way I feel for you, and that’s okay, but I just wish that you would just tell me that instead of ignoring me and pushing me away and making me feel like absolute shit!”

She didn’t look at Kieu My once as she talked, she was too scared to.

And then she left, not looking back.

[farouchelyoptimistic]

HyunJi: Rekindle

Part 3

"What do you think about Moon Young's character?"

Soo Hyun bobs his head up as he thinks of an answer. Heaps of media people flood the room, pushing and squeezing in just to get closer to the panel of celebrities during the press conference of the new drama, Psycho But It's Okay. It had been a hot topic for a few weeks now, not only because it was Kim Soo Hyun's comeback drama, but also because of the number of talented actors mixed in together like a melting pot.

He grins when a certain memory suddenly fills his head.

It was a long drive back home from a shoot in the country side. He was comfortably leaned back against his seat as he looked out the window, watching the fields as his car swiftly passes by. He glances down at his phone, flipping it up and down, contemplating whether to send Yea Ji a text or not. Deciding against it, he tosses the device to the other seat, looking out just in time as they slowed down by a small field of dandelions.

"Beautiful, aren't they?" He looks up at his driver, watching him from the rearview mirror.

"What is?"

"The dandelions." He turns his attention back to the beautiful embodiments of weeds. They were as white as the clouds---a few of them green---swaying to the cool breeze of the afternoon wind. They were weeds, and weeds were unpretty growths that are usually disregarded and stepped upon, meant to be trampled over. They were parasites that fed on the nutrients of the flowers among them. But dandelions were an exception. They were physical evidence that something traditionally overlooked can be beautiful enough to gain attention. That in a field where they are unwanted, they could still fit in, and sometimes stand out.

"They say dandelions symbolize happiness, simple joys and good companions. People give them to loved ones who provide happiness. Some even say that it's a promise of total faithfulness." He smiles as he lets the words of his driver fill his heart and mind.

Happiness. Simple joys. Good companion. Faithfulness. And for some odd reason, it all summed up to a certain someone who brightened up the room with her smile, and brought calm to his system with the way her eyes curved into thin lines.

"Can we pull over for a second?" His driver doesn't ask why, immediately obeying his boss' request. He parks the car by the side of the road.

Soo Hyun hops out of the car just as he slides the door open. He chuckles to himself when he squats down and starts picking up as many dandelions he can hold. When he could no longer carry more, he finally straightens up.

"Soo Hyun-ah, here." He smiles at the small basket his driver handed to him. He puts the dandelions in, squatting back down to add a few more bunches. Satisfied at the abundance, he takes it from his driver and gets back inside before someone else sees him picking some weeds by the side of the road.

He couldn't take his eyes from the basket on his lap, smiling to himself like a school boy. He chuckles and shakes his head, grabbing his phone to type a message.

Coffee at the usual?

"Uhm, Hyung. Can we. . . "

"I'll drive you to that coffee shop you like." He grins at his driver who looked at him with amused knowing eyes.

"She looks like a green dandelion." A short laugh erupts from him as everyone else try to mask their confusion with loud laughter. They gave a few comments, a few claps, but he knew they don't really get it.

When he turns to look beside him, Yea Ji was also laughing, trying to cover her mouth. She understood. Of course she did. She eyes him and shakes her head, bursts of laughter erupting from the back of her throat. They looked at each other, trapped in their own little bubble as they laughed at something only they understood.

The rest of the cast only laughed in amusement as they looked at the pair. Even the director and the writer could only chuckle and glance at each other in confusion. They had no idea where that came from. Of course they didn't, because it was totally unrelated to their drama.

"Dandelions." Yea Ji, chuckles to herself as she finds herself alone on the way to a quick shoot for an ad right after the press conference. She shakes her head, leaning it against the window.

She couldn't help her smile when she enters the private deck of the cafe they usually hang out at. Two orders of iced Americano were already on the table, and oddly, so was a basket filled with dandelions.

"What are these for?" She chuckles, eyeing the flowers as the she takes the seat in front of him, across the table.

"Dandelions. For you." He playfully picks it up and slides it closer to her, making her tilt her head in awe. She takes one and brings it closer to her face, a huge grin plastering on lips.

"You know, in Spain, people would blow on dandelions to make their wishes come true." She plays with it with her fingers, twirling it back and forth.

He smiles. He is once again reminded that this amazing woman in front of him was more than just her elegant beauty, but was also defined by her intellectuality and intelligence. She was a gem.

"Let's make a wish together then." He takes one of his own, bringing it closer to his lips. He winks at her, making her laugh before she nods her head and closes her eyes. He does the same.

"Hana, dul, set." They blow in unison. As they open their eyes, they smile at the sight of its petals dancing in the breeze like glitter under the bright blue sky. They looked magical as they scattered away like little pixies that granted wishes.

They couldn't help but share a light laugh, turning to look at each other.

"What did you wish for?" She asks him. He only shrugs his shoulders, playfully shaking his head. She pouts coyly, chuckling before she breathes out a short 'okay'.

I wished I could have you. He thought, but he didn't say it. He chose not to. Oblivious to him, she also wished for something similar. And just like him, she decided not to tell him too.

It didn't take long before they regained their level of comfort with each other. It was as if they just picked up from where they left off, sharing gentle touches and silent laughter as they shared stolen glances. Of course, they were a bit cautious, cautious not to step on the line, careful not to dive into the ocean that once almost sucked them in to a whirlpool. But they were only human, humans who were easily bewitched by their feelings.

Soo Hyun was majorly flustered by the natural confidence that she possessed. While he couldn't barely look at her for long, she never even flinches. He was too fearful that if he looked at her for too long, he couldn't restrain himself from holding her. And of course, there were times when he couldn't. He allowed himself to give her gentle pats on the shoulders, soft touches of the hands.

Yea Ji felt pride at the way she affects him. The way his ears turn red as he looks away whenever she catches him staring for too long. The way her touch seems to electrocute him, the way she brings out his extra energy. Despite being able to hide her emotions expertly, she couldn't deny that he affected her as much. And it's starting to terrify her. Because the more he tries to move closer, the more she develops a longing for him to stay.

He thinks she doesn't notice, but she does. She notices everything, especially the obvious chivalry that he displays. Wrapping her coat around her, carrying her bag for her, giving her water, giving her a cup of coffee in the morning. They way he gets on his feet to run towards her just to help her down a flight of stairs. She notices. She doesn't allow herself to drown in oblivion.

It terrifies her to the core. How the warmth of his touch lingers on her skin, how his presence brightens up her day. It terrifies her because whenever she catches him starting, her heart flutters, beating in a knowing abnormal way. She's aware of what kind of feelings she's starting to develop, and its scaring her to proportions of great lengths.

She promised to guard her heart, to build walls around it, to protect it from the pain of heartache. What she had been through broke her to pieces, broke her too much, she even thought she could never put it back together. But she did, slowly, piece by piece. And with the rate her heart beats for him now, she's terrified that it might just break so easily.

So she swears to be cautious. To remind herself of the consequences. To recall the moments when her heart hurt so much she couldn't breathe, so that she remembers how easily it can break again now if she lowers her guard down. So she's careful. Careful not to lead him on. Careful not to show her feelings to vividly.

But it was inevitable not to get carried away. Human emotions is sometimes too strong for the body to control. She'd be too late to notice that she'd been laughing to his unfunny jokes too much, that she's been linking her arm on his for too long. It takes her a moment to realize she had allowed him to hold her hand for too long, allowed him to get too close.

"Are you hungry?" Soo Hyun turns to Yea Ji beside him as the music started blasting loud enough for anyone to be able to hear them talking softly. The radio host was deep in conversation with Jung Se that none of them paid attention to the pair who had been constantly bickering and joking with each other.

"Yes, I'm hungry. Just a little bit." She was surprised by her own automatic response, but she doesn't take it back. Soo Hyun only nods, making it a point to ask her to have dinner with him after the show. And he does. The show didn't take too long to end, and he basically just decided to man up and ask her straight up. When she said yes after a defeating silence if a few minutes, he almost wanted to release a breath of relief.

They went to a private restaurant, similar to the ones they usually went to. They have lodged away in a small room, just the two of them, away from the private eye. He couldn't bring himself to stare at her as she was turned to the other side, gaze stuck on the painting against the wall.

He doesn't fail to notice that despite the comfortable interactions between the two of them, she was weary. Careful. There were times when she placed an obvious distance between them after standing too close, stopping herself abruptly after laughing with him for too much. She was holding back, forcing herself to hold back, and he noticed. It pained him slightly, but he was happy enough that she allows him to hold her hand for a little, to joke around with her. He was happy enough with the small moments she allows him to spend with her. Because unlike her, he wasn't at any chance trying to hold back.

He held back ages ago and it didn't bring him any good. There wasn't a time when he doesn't remember her. The way her eyes curved into thin lines and the way her nose scrunched up every time she smiles. He thought about her every single time he was paired with someone else other than her. And on quiet nights, he wished he could hear her voice again. Never a time he wished she was there with him.

If he had only taken a chance a few years ago, maybe things could have been different for both of them. But the universe works in many great ways. Bringing them together like this, after so long, was proof of it's immeasurable, unexpected powers. And this time, there was no holding back. He had lost her once, he's not losing her to his fear of the unknown this time.

"Yea Ji-ah." He muses softly, gently, yet cautiously reaching fo her hand on the table. When their fingers so much as brushes against each other, she turns to him.

She saw the determination in his eyes, even felt it in the warmth when he placed his hand on the small of her back as he guided her inside the restaurant. She knew he had been feeling what she's been feeling, the only difference was, he wasn't holding back. Unlike her character, open and straightforward, she was acting more like his character now. Repressing and taking a step back.

The way he looked at her right now made her heart hammer against her chest. She could feel it, even if she doesn't want to. The fear was overpowering, making her heart thud a tad bit faster.

"Soo Hyun-ah." She slides her hand away from his. The tone in her voice stuns him for a second, making his heart drop down to the pit of his stomach.

"I had been with someone, a few years back. I thought I was happy, I really did. It got a little too obsessive and I knew it was toxic, but I just tried to make it work. I stayed until broke me. I waited until I was in pieces before I decided to let go." It brought a certain ache in her heart as she continued talking. Not because she wasn't over her old flame, but because she pained for the way she broke herself for other people.

Watching her talk about a dark aspect in her life ached Soo Hyun in many ways he can't point out. He could see the grief in her eyes, and the way it sent her voice trembling.

"I'm telling you this because you make me feel what it truly feels to be happy with someone. Making me realize how unhappy I truly was when I thought I was actually happy. You make me feel comfortable and warm, and you never fail to make me laugh. You make me lose sleep at night, thinking about how your presence has become something I long for. I'm telling you this because it terrifies me. Because I'm afraid that if you ask for my heart I can't give it to you. Because the last time I gave it to someone else, it was returned to me in pieces. I'm telling you this so could stop. Because I'm too scared, and I don't want to lead you on into nothing."

He watches her take a breath, looking away from him. He was at a loss for words, trying ti absorb every word she said. He never thought that hearing how she longs for him could actually hurt.

"We had our shot back then, it didn't work. Let's not dive into it again, fully knowing it won't ever. Let's be friends, and give our all in this drama. And maybe when it's over, we can just forget each other again." She doesn't wait for him to speak, pushing her chair back as she stands up. She grand her bag and turns around to walk towards the door.

Doorknob at arm's length, he gently grabs hold of her wrist, stopping her.

"We never had a shot back then, because none of us took one. We were both cowards. I was a coward. I knew you were scared, and so was I. But I should have been strong for both of us. I should have taken the risk because you are worth it. Then you wouldn't have met that bastard who broke you." He looked at her intently, eyes boring into hers. He moves his hand on her wrist to hold her hand properly, reaching for the other so he was holding both.

"I appreciate you telling me that. But that won't make me stop. I won't stop because you're afraid. I won't stop especially now that I know you feel the same way." He squeezes her hands tighter. "I'm going to hold your hands. I'm going to keep making jokes that aren't funny because that seems to make you laugh a lot. I'll keep showing you that I care because I do. I'll keep being flustered whenever you look at me because you make my heart flutter. I'll keep acting like how a man acts in front of a woman he likes. I'll stay close, and I'll hold your hands until you're not scared anymore. Until you say yes to me."

He lets go of her hand and pulls her back to the table, pulling the chair back. She was remotely dumbfounded, her mouth slightly agape as she looks at him. He gently pushes her down so she was sitting on her chair again.

"And I'm not letting you leave without eating. I took you here to have dinner, and I'm taking you home after. My manager doesn't call me a persistent idiot for nothing." His gaze lingers on her eyes that we're on him as he makes his around the table. Just before he could sit down, a wave of tears floods out of her eyes, causing him an internal panic.

"Omo." His worried nonchalant eyes grow wide, his feet scrambling to go back to her.

"Mianhae. Was I too harsh? I didn't mean to startle you." He rambles as he reaches for her face, gently wiping her tears with his thumbs.

"I was going to say I'm in love with you, but that would spook you out. So I didn't say it yet. Mianhae. Oh, otteoke." He continues to ramble mindlessly, losing his wits at the sight of her tears.

She looks at him, and immediately he realizes what he's said. "Oh, ani--" Before he could finish, she erupts into a light laugh, making him smile. She lets out a breath, allowing him to wipe off her tears.

He was true to his words. He treated her the same, making it impossible for her to be more distant. He really was a persistent idiot. He'd stuck by her closer, longer. He'd tell the lamest jokes, which of course made her cackle down to the bone. He made her happy every day, and sometimes, for a while, she would forget that she was afraid.

"See you on the other side!" The cameraman waves his hand and turns around, running towards the end of the bridge. At the sound of the director's 'cut!', the cameraman doesn't waste his time staying on the hundred-meter long bridge.

Soo Hyun could only laugh as he watched the scared cameraman run to safety. But the cameraman wasn't the only one who was scared. A few meters behind him was an equally scared Yea Ji. Even her character had to be scared for the scene, and so was she. She trembled at the thought of being two hundred meters above ground, on a massively shaky bridge that wobbled at every step.

"Yea Ji-ah, come o--" Soo Hyun bursts in laughter at the sight of her grabbing hold of the railings, taking slow weary steps. They were already halfway there, just a few meters till they reach the other side.

"Don't laugh!" She whines, equally scared and amused. She took deep breaths at each step, holding on to the railings tight.

"Soo Hyun-ah! Take care of Yea Ji-ah!" The director's voice resonates through the mic.

"De!" He shouts back, biting off a laugh.

"Yea Ji-ah, if you keep walking slow, you'll stay on this bridge longer." He was teasing her. He mimicked the way she took terrified steps, laughing at her state. She could only curse at him internally, focusing on her breathing and the way she grabbed hold of the rails.

"Run! I'll wait for you." He yells, stopping. Taking her chance, she bravely lets go and runs with all her might. Just when she was about to grab him, he runs away, his loud laughter roaring through. "Aish. Kim Soo Hyun!" She yells as she runs after him, her knees trembling at the feel of the bridge swinging side to side.

Soo Hyun reaches the other end first, stopping right in front of the bridge as he watched Yea Ji running towards him. He couldn't help but laugh, opening his arms wide for her. "Hurry, Seo Yea Ji!"

When she reaches the other side, she automatically crashes into him, her knees giving out. He wraps his arms around her waist, keeping her up as he chuckles. He could feel the way her chest heaved up and down as she tried to catch her breath, her arms around his neck, head against his chest. He held her tight, closer, suddenly forgetting the staff around them.

"Kinchana? Hmm?" He rubs her back gently, smiling as she whispers a silent 'I hate you.' When her breathing stabilizes, she slowly let's go, pushing herself off. At the sight of hIs annoying face, she playfully hits his chest, which he only receives with a laugh.

The people around them could only smile and laugh with them, but they couldn't help but look at each other. A few hunches we're born that day, adding to the already existing pile. Something was going on, they thought, but they chose not to say anything. Their privacy was not something they wanted to violate. Whatever was going on, it wasn't anyone's business. Well, except for Manager Ryu who could only stare at the pair in both fear and amusement. The very first time he saw them together, he knew his job was going to get harder. He lets out a sigh as he blocks the bts camera filming the two.

The night had already gone deep and they had just finished filming the last scene. It had started raining a few minutes ago, which had halted the pack up process. While the whole staff tried to deal with the clothes and the equipment along with the rain, Yea Ji was instructed to go back to the room they had rented while everyone finished up.

Walking back to the room, she was surprised to see Soo Hyun sitting by the door, barely being housed from the rain.

"Aren't you going to get wet?" She says, walking up to him. He looks up at her and chuckles, shaking his head, bringing his palms up to show her he was dry. She smiles, sitting beside him. This time, she doesn't remember to put some distance.

She looked at him, surprised at his silence only to find him staring at a bunch of dandelions growing from the ground to the side of the room.

"Dandelions also symbolize healing from internal pain." He says, turning to face her. Now they were looking at each other.

He looks down at her hand and takes it in his, rubbing small circles on the back of her palm. "I know you're scared. And I know you're healing. I don't need to be someone significant right now, but I'm not going to go away. I'm going to stay, and I hope you allow me to be something that will help you heal. I can be your dandelion. And when you're healed, I hope I can be someone allowed to call you mine."

He looked at her with so much passion in his eyes that it made her heart warm. There was something else in his orbs that screamed something more meaningful, but she was still slightly scared of the thought. But it gave her comfort to see it in the spark of his eyes, under the bright moon with the sound of silent rain.

He smiles at her, his eyes curving into a thin line. She smiles too.

He lets out a breath, looking forward. He doesn't let go of her hand.

"You think they'd be surprised with Moon Young and Gang Tae's first kiss?" She doesn't say a word, she only replies with a chuckle. It wasn't just their character's first kiss, it was also theirs, unofficially.

"Can I ask you one question." He asks, still looking straight ahead.

"What is it?"

"If I asked you if I could kiss you back then, would you have let me?" They both remembered the day they decided to wake up from the dream. A kiss back them would have complicated things more, but it could have also changed how things turned out.

"I would have let you even if you didn't ask."

None of them say anything for a few seconds. Silent and still as they watched the raindrops fall to the ground.

And then in a split second, he turns around, gently cups her face and presses a warm kiss on her lips. She was caught off-guard, allowing him to brush his tongue against hers. It takes her a second before she allows her body to undermine what her brain is commanding. She responds to his kisses.

His other hand softly rests on her waist, gently pulling her closer as he deepens the kiss, tasting every inch of her mouth. Her hand instinctively rises to his chest, not to push him away, but to have something to hold.

When they pull out of the kiss, their hearts were racing a few hundred miles per second. Their impulsivity surprised them both, their chests heaving in unison. The tips of their noses brush against each other as they slowly lean back from each other.

"Next time, I'll ask permission." He says, his eyes boring into hers with so much emotion.

Before she could even say another word, footsteps coming their way made her look to the direction it was coming from. Manager Ryu looked at both of them with a suspicious look in his eyes, but he doesn't say anything. He walks closer, holding a big black umbrella.

"Yea Ji-ah, you're car is ready. I'll come back for you after I send her to her car, Soo Hyun-ah. Looks like you have a lot of thinking to do." She nods, avoiding his gaze as she walks over to him, getting under the umbrella. She glances behind her for a second, catching Soo Hyun's eyes on her. He lets out a dorky smile, shrugging his shoulders.

[allie1804-fan]

Malaise (Chapter 1 - Calling Tara)

Warnings: Mentions of escort services and sexual acts

Notes  - I wanted to try and write something that I imagine might be a bit closer to the real experience of Keanu than my stories with romance and babies etc. Not completely sure where it’s going just yet but thought I would put out my first 2 chapters and see what people think.

Keanu stared at the phone in his hand again, thumb poised over the green phone symbol. He didn’t quite know why he was hesitating.  He had found himself unable to make even the simplest of decisions with any speed lately. His hand drifted down to his groin where he rubbed himself absent-mindedly. He took a deep breath and tapped “call”.

 “Codename please” the robot voice said

 “KCR”

 “please type in your pin”

He punched in 090264 wondering once again if he should really try to cover his tracks with things like this but nothing had leaked in the 10 years+ of using the agency . They were discrete and the system was designed to shield the calls by using the pin system and he was careful with his phone, never giving details to strangers. Heaven forbid if his number got out to hackers and they figured out that he made fairly regular calls to an elite escort agency!

Once through to a human being at their end, he asked for Tara who was his regular. He needed sex and as soon as she was available.  He specified “the usual” and put the phone down, going out to sit by the pool and have a smoke as distraction from his horniness.

He’d  tried a couple of his “friends with benefits” before calling the agency but they were out of town and he didn’t want to call Autumn, she was too needy for how he was feeling right now. There was history there of an on and off relationship in the early 90s that had been one of the ones that proved to him that he wasn’t cut out for commitment. She couldn’t deal with his regular absences to shoot films and he couldn’t stay faithful for that long either. Still, even now, they’d  end up in bed together sometimes, but he knew she still wanted more, more than he could give so it wasn’t fair to her. Back in the day she’d been more wild and bohemian, more aligned with his view that sex was just sex and you could enjoy it with or without the emotional baggage.  And she’d been willing to let him try things in his younger days like anal sex and a bit of BDSM - she liked to be dominated. Neither of those things were really his bag now but he’d been on a journey  of sexual discovery back when they started adding sex into the mix and she’d been a willing traveller.

He’d been in London a couple of weeks back and met up for dinner with an actor /writer friend Doraly – she wasn’t seeing anyone just now either and they both needed release so they’d gone back to her flat afterwards and fucked. That had been the last time and now he was antsy.

He got a text from the agency about 15 minutes after placing the call. Tara could come tomorrow. With Tara, part of the deal was to share some conversation and food first, basically a bit of a fake date night. The irony wasn’t lost on him that he wanted to have the trappings of a date as part of the sex he was buying! He dropped her a text to ask what she fancied  -  she chose dim sum and wan tons - she knew him well enough to choose something he liked too.

Later when he went to bed, he jerked off not wanting to come too quickly the next day. He thought about Tara as he pulled on his cock, imagining her fragrant thighs astride his head. That was always the first part of ‘the usual’  - she had the most delicious pussy and he would always feast on that first before straight sex of some kind. He wasn’t required to specify positions for that, only if there was anything they classified as kinky or out of the ordinary.

The next day, he went for a long ride up PCH to clear his head and kill some time.  Tara was due to his house at 6.30 and the dim sum at 7. He’d got a fine bottle of Chablis, her favourite white and he was looking forward to catching up with her. She was always interested in his work and she enjoyed theatre, movies and books so there was always something interesting to talk about. Best of all, there were no demands. He only had to give what he was willing to and mostly that was wanting to be sure she had at least one orgasm – he derived at least some of his satisfaction from that as well as the obvious appreciation she had for his body. There was no need to keep her at an emotional distance because she didn’t ask for emotional closeness from him, not beyond the session that is. She was good at the whole date night scenario as long as it lasted though and that’s what he wanted tonight.

With the other women in his life, barriers were put up. Sometimes that was in quite a formal way so if he was with someone new, he’d make clear he wasn’t able to commit to a long term or monogamous relationship. He’d usually blame this on work and of course that was a major practical factor, but a voice inside told him there were probably other things in his personality or life experience that prevented him from wanting a long term relationship. He valued his time alone as well – not just the time to pursue his career and help run the Arch business. He wanted to be able to spend a day reading or playing chess against the computer or simply taking off on his bike or to the beach without anyone being pissed off about it.

The other barriers to closeness he put up were more subtle. He was always very guarded about sharing personal information beyond what he liked in the arts and what food he liked, he would avoid introducing women to other friends or family and would rarely go out with them in public, ostensibly to protect them from publicity.

In his younger days, he simply had not been ready to commit to one person and the practical issue of going away so often for filming or publicity had made that impossible too in combination with his healthy appetite for sex - he wasn’t able to go without for that long. Then as he’d got older and more famous, meeting someone who was really interested in him as a person,  not as a meal ticket or a connection to exploit, became increasingly difficult and led him to put up barriers. And then there had been Jen and Ava, a terrible situation filled with loss and angst that had finally closed the door, he was pretty sure, for good. In truth, he hadn’t gone into that relationship with monogamy or kids in mind either, it had been thrust upon him but he had loved her and the loss of both the baby and then her left him feeling like him being in a relationship was a curse that he should not inflict on anyone.

He thought about all this on the ride. He knew his physical needs could not be met without ‘work’ (at maintaining a relationship or multiple ‘special’ friendships) or resorting to calling on Tara or one of the other escorts when she wasn’t free. That need for sex was one of the reasons he had 2 or 3 friends with benefits on a kind of rotation and why he sometimes, against his better judgement usually, embarked on a fling with a fellow cast member, or occasionally there would be a random meeting in everyday life like Anita who had worked as a PA to his mother for a while. Those flings could sometimes be quite passionate for a month or so, sometimes longer and he knew his instincts for generosity and chivalry could sometimes war against those proclamations of not wanting commitment. That had caused some fiery endings  such as with Lynne Collins. He’d even been quite public with her, eating out, shopping, flying up to New York to see her in “As you Like it” and attend the after party as her date – all signals, along with the good loving he always tried to give his ladies, that suggested he hadn’t really meant it about not committing – but he had and she sure did not like it, dropping him like a hot potato when he made that abundantly clear. That wasn’t an unusual pattern in terms of how women eventually responded to his lack of commitment. He was always clear about his position up front, but it didn’t always put off the women who did want something longer term. They probably thought they could change him and those behavioural mixed signals no doubt kept them thinking they would be the one to break him! Eventually though, they would lose interest and the cycle would start again.

He loved sex and exploring women’s bodies, getting to know them – that’s one reason he kept going back to the same friends and escorts. The flings came in for the thrill of the new he guessed, it wasn’t that he was looking for ‘the one’, at least he didn’t think so.  With a few women in the past there had been a real connection and intimacy that had been monogamous for a time but that was a long ago now.

He returned from his ride at around 4 giving him time for a shower, a nap and putting fresh sheets on the bed before Tara arrived in her cab.  He hadn’t seen her for a few months having been away on a shoot  - as she stepped out of the car and came up the drive, he saw she was as slender,  beautiful and well turned out as ever. She was tall with long, wavy chestnut hair and in keeping with his taste, quite large breasts – all natural too, another preference. He greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and invited her in.

@penwieldingdreamer @fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithkeanu @ladyreapermc @witty-wallflower @gatsbynouvel @bitchyslut99 @keanureevesisbae @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @kindainlovewithkeanu @paperplanesandwallflowers

[sebsallowapologist]

Pothos

Hi! While I have my nerve I’m going to post this- I haven’t written anything for public eye in a long time. 

I’d been thinking for a long time that Bella & Edward’s love story would be so much better if Bella had the chance to mature a little bit. So I wrote this:

When Edward left Bella in New Moon, what if he didn't come back until he was sure that Bella wasn't going to live happily ever after. It's 7 years later and Bella is floating through life as a 25 year old in Los Angeles when he comes back into her life.

Please please please tell me what you think or if this is worth continuing. 

The elevator ride was quiet, just the muzak playing and the quiet dings as we passed the floors that lead down to the basement. Most other people in the office would go home as soon as their computers told them it was 5:00, seldom staying until 8:00. They had families to get home to, dinners to be had, husbands to kiss and tell them how their day was. I filled up that time by staying a few hours late at work, until I got the message that we were meeting up at Umbrella tonight.

When I’d gotten word that morning that Mike couldn’t make it out tonight it made my blood drain from my face. If we wouldn’t go out then shy Angela would have bailed on me too. Theres power in numbers, and two girls alone at a bar wasn’t something Ang was comfortable with. Or maybe she was as long as I wasn’t the only other girl there.

Now that I had some plans for a Friday night I could stomach leaving work behind, moving from one distraction to the other. I shove my phone into my back pocket and grabbed the little black backpack I carried before shutting off my computer and walking out of the cubical I spent 60 hours a week sitting in.

Most people craved the weekend, spent the 48 hours of freedom trying to undo all the work they did over the weekend, but I was the opposite, my weekends were spent trying to run away from my own thoughts, mostly through drinking until I could feel my brain sloshing in my head and then working over my days off, desperately trying to prove to my company, and myself, that I deserved to be there, and it wasn’t just because my guardian angel put me there.

My guardian angel.

The one who got me into UCLA when I applied late and with horrible grades. My guardian angel who made sure I passed every college course, despite how much I didn’t understand the work. My guardian angel who got me the job at Variety, to make sure I was writing and doing what I thought I loved. I hated him, but I took all of his gifts, even though I haven't earned any of them. I was selfish and was plagued by the thought of the person who should have the life I was living, the one I took for granted. All because he felt guilty and I was too weak of a person to deny the silent gifts.

I make it down to my car and throw my backpack on the passenger seat of my little four door, another gift from my guardian angel. Or was it just a coincidence that someone was selling a barely used safe car just for the price I could afford as soon as I needed it? The truck had finally wheezed its last breath my senior year of high school, it was so symbolic it almost hurt, but it was right. A pick up truck didn’t make sense for Los Angeles, I would have spent my salary on gas alone.

I rest my head on the steering wheel, keeping the car keys gripped in my hand as I take three deep breaths and let out everything that happened at work today. The deadline that was moved up without my knowledge, the bitch who took the last k-cup on our floor which made me go to Starbucks this morning.

I sigh and stick the key in the ignition and crank the car to life and back out of the spot without letting the engine warm up. I pull to the mouth of the garage and flash my badge to the attendant, who let the gate rise and let me out. I wave and give a half smile while he waved me on and turned down the street, heading for my apartment.

Los Angeles had ruined my driving, you just didn’t get around this city in any kind of timely manner if you didn’t treat yellow lights like a suggestion. I made it home in a reasonable amount of time, since almost all of rush hour had already died down.

I lock up the car and walk up to my side of the duplex. The duplex I loved, covered in flowers that were cared for by the old woman who lived next door, the old fixtures that reminded me of what Los Angeles used to be- a golden era of film and mob crime. What made LA interesting, as opposed to what it is now- an influencer filled hellhole. I open up the door and slam it closed, the only way the hinge would catch.

I throw my bag down next to the pile of shoes next to my door and head to my small bathroom to freshen up. I bite my lip and stop at the wall of plants lining the window in my living room. Fuck I should water those. The plants all stemmed from the singular pothos plant my neighbor had given me when I first moved in. She taught me that when it grew, a stem could be cut off from the rest of the plant and placed in water. The little section of plant, given the right circumstances, could develop its own root system and thrive on its own, without the home it had once known.

So I did it once, wracked with anxiety that I would kill one of the few flourishing leaves on the plant. It sat in water for weeks before the small root stuck out of the stem. One root became two, and then three as it grew and reached the bottom of the mason jar, and all of a sudden I had a whole other plant that was thriving, the scar I had given it from taking it away from it’s home had grown, and made it possible to survive on its own. So I did it again, and again, until my apartment was covered in pothos vines. I walked around my apartment and watered each one of them until their soil was damp before continuing with my night.

I wasn’t going to any club, but a brush through my hair and a little mascara on the eyelashes doesn’t hurt. I had to act quickly though, since I was getting texts from Mike about every five minutes asking where I was. I tell him that I’m on my way and throw on a jacket over the thin silk and lace top I wore. I didn’t live far from our favorite bar which made stumbling home a few nights a week extremely convenient.

***

The Melrose Umbrella was the bar for people who thought they were too good for bars. The Hollywood nobodies lined the walls, drinking the drinks they could barely afford while trying to all sleep with each other. I’ve been guilty of it, I’d brought home quite a few conquests home from the Umbrella, when I felt like it. I find Mike and Ang at the back of the bar, sitting in our normal booth.

I wasn’t sure if having a normal booth at a bar in a city as big as Los Angeles was something to be proud or ashamed of, but it was our home. I put my bag down and take off my jacket, smiling lightly at my friends. “Sorry I’m late, I’m getting a drink, anyone need?” I ask and they both raise their hands. I laugh a little and head over to the crowded bar, trying to lock eyes with Paul. Pretty Boy Paul the bartender. He smiles and I hold up three fingers, signaling that I needed a drink for his three favorite regulars. He nods and I relax a little, waiting for our drinks. “Hey.” I hear and I turn around to see a man, average height, average build, nothing special about him talking to me like he deserved my attention. “What’s going on tonight, beautiful?”

“Drinking.” I mumble and nod at Paul when I get my three drinks. “Let me get your next round. I’m an actor and-” He starts and I almost roll my eyes out of my head. An actor. Great. “Oh really? What restaurant?” I ask and collect my drinks and go back to our booth, leaving him in the dust.

“You should really make them think they have a chance, it looks like you just kicked his puppy.” Mike laughs and I roll my eyes, sliding him his beer and Ang her margarita. “But he didn’t.” I mumble and Mike rolls his eyes, “What? Don’t need anyone to keep your bed warm tonight?” He jokes. The few times a year I brought a man back over to my apartment were national holidays to Angela and Mike, who insisted that I just needed a more steady flow of orgasms to fix whatever was broken with me. Every time it fell short. Every time I had sex with someone else it wasn’t one tenth- no one one hunderth of the attract, thrill and wholeness that came from just kissing E- No.

“I got a heated blanket, and no. I’m getting black out tonight.” I smile and place the vodka water at my lips, the lime hitting my lips as I take a big sip. As if that was different from any other night we spent at Umbrellas.

Drink after drink I talked with my friends, until my brain was too slow and too cloudy to think about him, until he wasn’t the underlying stream of consciousness that was always going through my mind. The last call bell rings and I sigh, grabbing my jacket. “Alright, I gotta go, I need to work on a piece tomorrow.” I mumble and Mike chuckles. “You would consider 1:45 in the morning to be calling it an early night.”

“I’m a saint.” I smile and he nods. “Do you need help getting home?” I shake my head. “I’ll make it the two blocks.”

I lift my last drink up to my lips and finish it’s remains, letting an ice cube fall into my mouth. I wave to my friends as I exit the bar and let my shoulders curl forward as I shuffle my way back to my apartment. Another successful night. If you could call it that.

I keep my hood up and finally make it back to my place, shedding my jacket at the door. It was too hot. My stomach rumbles and I groan, I hadn’t eaten at fucking all since lunch. I stumble into the kitchen and find a pot, tossing it onto my gas stove before bringing out the boxed mac and cheese.

With shaking hands I get enough water into the pot and set it to boil, leaning over the stove to watch the bubbles rise, but you know what they say about a watched pot, or whatever. As soon as I deem the noodles “done” I drain them and mix in the milk, haphazardly cut butter, and finally the packet of powdered cheese and mix it together, bringing the whole pot into the living room to enjoy my dinner in style. I set the pot down on my coffee table and groan, the burner. I wasn’t so drunk I was going to burn my house down. Stumbling back to the kitchen I glanced at the stove top, expecting to see a small red flame, but everything was off. I was better than I thought.

I walk back to the couch and start eating the mac and cheese while I scroll on my phone. Seeing stories from everyone’s Friday night, posts of everyone laughing with their friends. And I had done that. Succeeded at being a normal human girl. To an extent.

I’d had that smile on my face, I’d laughed and danced, but I just wish it didn’t feel like a cover. I felt like my whole life I was hiding someone’s secret. Tears prick at my eyes as I land on a couple, laughing together outside of a bar, her hands on his chest. I lock my phone and place it face down on the couch. I couldn’t- be around that anymore.

I abandon my full pot of mac and cheese and stumble off to bed, shedding my shirt, my pants, and my bra at my hamper before falling into the bed, pulling the covers up to my chin.  

***

They say hangovers get worse as you get older, but I haven't experienced that yet. When the sun creeps in through my window my biggest symptom is the light headache that I know would go away with some coffee and an aspirin.

I lay in my bed and let a little whimper out of my lips as I stretch. I freeze when I hear the sound that must have woken me up, three quick raps at my door echoed through the apartment. My brow furrows, no one ever comes by. I lean over and check my phone, anyone I knew would tell me before they came over.

I hear the knocks again and roll out of my bed, I was going to have to go in blind. I grab my jeans from last night and a UCLA sweatshirt off my floor, pulling them on as I walk to the front of the apartment. “I’m coming!” I call as I get the knocks again, impatient. I push my hair off of my face and look through my peep hole.

The distorted image did him a massive disservice.

His bronze hair was covered by a dark hood. His white skin was shaded but still brillant, it made my headache scream just a bit.  His golden eyes looked through the peephole and I gasped when we made eye contact, not that he could see. “Bella?” I hear and every muscle in my body freezes. He had to know that I was standing on the other side of the door. My name sounded angelic coming out of his perfect lips. I’d never loved the word Bella so much.

My hand shakes as it moves to the doorknob.

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 100

Chapter Summary -   Tom and Danielle enjoy their holiday, Tom ensuring it is as pleasurable as possible, in every manner. SMUT

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​​​ @jessibelle-nerdy-mum​​​ @nonsensicalobsessions​​​ @damalseer​​​ @hiddlesbitch1​​​ @winterisakiller​​​ @fairlightswiftly​​​ @salempoe​​​​ @wolfsmom1​​​​

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Danielle sighed as she began to feel herself waking up. Part of her did not want to.

The day before, Tom admitted to a little secret he had withheld from her. He had cancelled their booking at a run of the mill hotel Danielle had booked in their next destination and instead booked a five-star hotel for them as a treat. She was unaware of the change and asked Tom to type in the name of the hotel she had booked into the GPS on his phone, Tom gave it the name of the hotel he had chosen and said nothing, simply instructing her as the device dictated. When they arrived at their destination, Danielle looked at the hotel confused and bewildered. When she turned and asked Tom what name he had put in, he answered the hotel they were at.

“Why did you do that, it’s the wrong place?” Tom simply grinned wickedly back at her. “What?”

“I did a thing.”

“What thing?” She sounded more like an exasperated mother than a girlfriend.

“I cancelled our booking elsewhere and booked this place.”

“Tom!”

“No, please listen; you paid a small fortune for this holiday, you booked the flights, the accommodation, the car…”

“You already changed the car.” She pointed out, her hand indicating to the blue and white symbol of the German brand on the steering wheel.

“And it was a great idea.” He stated assertively. “And so is this, come on Elle, you deserve it.”

“You are so bold.” She scolded as she parked the car properly.

“You’re not even going to argue?”

“No, I have decided to pick my battles, and a five-star hotel is not one to argue…as long as they have nice food.”

“We can drive into the town if it doesn’t, but it is the best hotel in the town apparently.”

“It’s not in the town, the town is six kilometres away, we are in Fossa.”

“Wait, really, this is Fossa?”

“Yeah, why? Why would Fossa register with you?”

“I know someone from around here.”

“Fair enough.” Danielle thought no more of it and got out of the car.

*

They had gotten changed and gotten something to eat before driving around the different parts of the scenic area that surrounded the town, finishing off the evening with a meal and a glass of wine in the hotel. Again, they were spotted by eagle-eyed tourists who seemed to be actively looking for Tom as he had been seen not too far away the day before in Clare. It was almost as though people were trying to guess where he was. They took a few pictures from a distance but did not interact with the pair, which suited them.

That night they fell asleep contently after receiving a text from Luke that simply confirmed their thoughts; people were guessing where the pair were going to turn up and those who spotted them simply bragged that they had, nothing more of note.

*

“What are you doing?” Danielle’s voice was heavy with sleep.

“Nothing, just relax.” Tom’s voice was sharper, he had been awake for a half an hour and was pressing his body against hers.

“Tom!” Danielle stretched as she shifted her backside slightly, rubbing it into the crotch of the actor. “Don’t be bold.”

“I am nothing of the sort darling.” His hand snaked down her body before making its way to her hip, silently asking her permission to continue; when Danielle moved herself slightly to allow Tom better access to her body, he gently used his hand to lift her leg up and over his own one, spreading her legs wider yet not forcing her to have to hold it up herself. “Have I mentioned recently how much I adore you and your salacious body. I fear you were sent to torture me with it.” His hand went to her core, gently toying with her sensitive folds and the bundle of nerves just above them. “How I love being in bed with you.”

“Tom,” Her voice was more of a gasp as he circled her clit languidly.

“Yes, my beautiful Elle, what is it?”

“I…”

“What do you yearn for?” His lips brushing against her ear as he spoke, “Tell me.”

“You.”

“But you have me.”

“Stop teasing me.” She warned, though she lacked the bite needed to enforce her words.

Gently, having already used his hand to ready her by making her moist, Tom aligned his hardened manhood with her opening and pressed in. “Like that?” Danielle moaned pitifully as her body was filled so perfectly, her every wish granted as slowly and leisurely, Tom began to move, his motions soft yet touching everywhere that felt exquisite in her, his hand ever so lightly gliding over her clit to allow her to feel more as he moved. “I love your incredible mind, your untameable sass and your delicious…FUCK!” she used her muscles to grip him tighter. “Elle, I fucking love that, I do, but don’t do it again because I will finish as soon as you do and I want to please you as I never have before and it will be hard when you have me dopey from an incredible orgasm.” He focused on getting himself to rub her inner areas to get her closer to her release.

“What are you gonna do to me?” she questioned, her breaths becoming shallow as she felt herself succumbing to the pleasure that was quickly engulfing her.

“I am going to have you, again and again, until you fall back asleep from exhaustion,” His own breaths becoming harsher as he focused his efforts on the task at hand. “I am going to have you nothing more than a moaning mess, your body alight with the pleasure I have given you, until you cannot take any more, then when you wake up, you will be so stiff, every last person we meet today will look at you and wonder why you are groaning as you move, some thinking of what caused it and grinning.” He nipped her ear and pressed himself into her as deep as he could as he felt her tighten around him rhythmically and her orgasm took over her, her moans stifled by her biting her lips together, but her nails dug into his thigh as she did her best to back herself onto the stiff organ filling her. As soon as she ceased moaning, Tom pulled himself from her immediately, knowing he would not be able to stave his own orgasm if he remained in her, her pussy pulsing around him as he did so.

Hardly waiting for her to catch her breath, Tom forced himself onto his knees and shirked down the bed, under the covers to between her legs. “Tom?” Her voice was slightly husky, “What are you…oh fuck, you were serious.” In the time it took her to ask the question, Tom had begun to lick and lap at her exposed clit. “Tom, I need…”

“What you need is more.” He insisted, pursing his lips around her and beginning to apply light pressure to it, gently grazing his teeth over the nerves as he toyed with it. When he felt her push her groin up, as though pleading for more attention in the area, he grinned and added two fingers to her, her body was more than able for such after her recent orgasm. On doing that, he pressed in so only the first and second knuckles were visible, as his long dexterous fingers easily found their way to the spot he had learned so well in her and stroked the little bundle of nerves within her as his lips assault the ones on the outside of her body. Danielle yelped in pleasure and her hand went to Tom’s head immediately, fisting his auburn hair as she ground her body into his face to get more friction, the sensation of him attacking both her greatest pleasure points simultaneously was too much for her. “Play with your tits.” He ordered, his words slightly muffled by not taking his lips off her.

Though she felt like holding him to her, for fear he would stop, Danielle did as she was instructed with one hand and toyed with her erect nipple, the other unable to remove itself from him, loving the feel of her hand in his hair, instructing him to continue. It only took a few moments more before the attack on three pleasure points on her already sensitive body became too much and Danielle found herself gasping for air as her back bowed and she moaned loudly, another orgasm racking through her, more intense than the first.

When she was done, she was gasping for air, her body telling her that the two releases she had drained her considerably. “Jesus Christ.” She declared between breaths.

Tom came up from under the covers, grinning in delight as her release covered his chin and lips, glistening in his short beard. “Did you like that?” Danielle nodded, her features almost dopey. “How about one more?”

“Tom.” She whined. “I can’t possibly…”

“Now my darling Elle, you have just set me a challenge.” His grin grew wider as he gently coaxed her to turn around and go on her hands and knees. When she did not physically or verbally argue, he slowly placed himself to her now drenched entrance. “Can you try?”

“Please.”

Hearing her plea was the only encouragement he required, so Tom pushed in with ease and put his hands on Danielle’s hips, slowly starting a pace as he stared down where he could see himself impaling the woman in front of him. “Fuck Elle, you look so good with my cock in you.”

“Feels so good.”

“Yeah, you like having me in you, showing you how incredible you make me feel?”

“Yes.” She moaned as he angled his thrusts to rub her almost sore channel. Though she was exhausted, Danielle could not bring herself to want him to stop, she loved the way Tom was making her body become almost overwhelmed with pleasure. “Please.”

“Do you want me to make it feel even better?” He asked, a hand making its way to her breasts which were swinging beneath her as Danielle bounced forward and back on him.

“Not possible.” Danielle pushed off her hands so that she was leaning back on Tom’s chest as they both knelt on the bed, their movements were sloppy but with purpose, to bring them both to release as quickly and pleasurably as possible.

Vaguely aware that there were other patrons in the other rooms connected to theirs, and not knowing how loud Danielle would be on her third release, Tom moved a hand towards Danielle’s mouth but not covering it as the other made its way to her now exposed and tender nerves, which was incredibly sensitive and painfully pleasurable. “I think it is, I’ll prove it.” He thrust up as he forced her body down on him, the feeling of his own release coming warning him to hasten before he failed to make good on his promise. The sounds Danielle was making telling him how close she was to her peak, spurring him on. Though he tried, Tom could not stave his orgasm any longer as Danielle’s tight warmth gripped him and her noises spurred on his ego, causing him to groan in frustration and pleasure as his teeth pressed into her shoulder, an action which was all that was required to throw her over the edge of her own orgasm and join him, her body becoming overstimulated and her mind going blank as she fell over the edge once more, pressing her mouth into his hand to prevent herself from screaming her pleasure.

As both came down from their highs, Tom realised that Danielle could only lean against him like a rag doll, her limbs incapable of movement from everything they had just done. Slowly, he manoeuvred them so that he could gently place her lying on the bed once more and pulled the covers over her. “You win.” She conceded, her face one of exhausted pleasure.

Tom grinned and lay beside her, noticing there was a considerable wet patch in the bed from where they were kneeling; gently, he moved his hand between her thighs and realised just how much pleasure she had endured. “I think you were more than happy to be wrong with that one.”

“I never did that before.” Danielle’s voice was heavy with tiredness, Tom’s prediction of her wishing to return to sleeping proven correct. “M’Sorry.”

“Don’t be, I take pride in knowing I did something like that to you.” Tom kissed her shoulder before Danielle turned around and curled into him, sighing as she fell back asleep, Tom feeling incredibly proud of himself as he began to drift off also.

[k-knightt-blog]

I barely knew I had skin before I met you

Title: I barely knew I had skin before I met you

Relationship: Tom Hiddleston/Reader

Chapters: 1/?

Wordcount: 1,231

Summary: You are Susanne Bier’s, the director of Night Manager, on-set assistant who falls in love with her boss’ leading man. Now, why would you do something so stupid?

Part 2  Part 3

You had been told to stay in bed for at least half the day, that’s what the director of The Night Manager Susanne Bier had told you. “At least until dinner, you’re not doing yourself any favours”, that's what she said before you left set yesterday, three times she said it, making sure you would get it into your head. It wasn’t that you were poorly, but the lack of sleep had been a concern for everyone on set, well, everyone who had the time to notice. You were sure Tom didn’t mind your absence this morning, as much as your mind wanted that to be false it probably wasn’t.

Maybe, just maybe he’d miss you slumping into the sofa next to him, your limbs tired, and as a reflex, he would steal one of your headphones and secure it in his own ear. Sometimes he liked the music, sometimes he didn’t. Rolling around in bed you let out a frustrated groan, the duvet flipped off you and so did your phone that had been hiding somewhere in between the sheets. With a restless hand you grabbed it and checked for notifications, but sadly there was nothing to be excited about. Someone from back home had gone on a rampage, liking nearly every post you’ve ever posted on Instagram. It wasn’t uncommon when your mum always keeps posting about the quote-unquote famous people you worked with.

When you come to think about it’s also Tom's fault. A few weeks ago he had posted a photo on his Instagram he snapped of you munching down crisps at a rapid speed, you glaring into the camera giving him your best grin. The caption read “Charming girl!” He didn’t tag you since you asked him not to, knowing the field day people would have if they did find your account. Not that a lot of people wondered who you were anyway, you weren’t an actress people recognised, you weren’t an actress at all for the matter, so it wasn’t as interesting for his fans. However some people who knew you from home recognised you, and of course, chucked a message in your direction.

Throwing your phone on the bed again, the heaviness of it in your hand made you feel blue, it was rather the heaviness of not having the person you cared about caring about you. Shaking your head, your short hair covers your eyes. From your lips, a small ”Fucking hell” came out, and a ”You’re being ridiculous” also followed soon after. It wasn’t like you were walking around falling in love with people often, actually never, but here you were falling for one of the greatest actors of his generation. Not to mention that he was also an enormous heartthrob and sex symbol for men and women alike.

Then and there you decided that nothing would ever happen between you two, he’d probably fall in love with some gorgeous, talented actress any minute now anyway. It wasn’t a part of your five-year plan to suffer, you’d tried suffering but didn’t like it. No time for heartbreak, you haven’t got the time, simple. Trying to convince yourself of those facts your phone chimed, tapping the screen you see that’s it's Tom.

The aching heart in your chest begun to beat heavily, just like in every romantic film ever, what a cliche you were. Clicking and flicking every surface on the phone rapidly you got it unlocked and his messages popped up. ”I’m dearly hoping that you are sleeping right now, having those being the only orders you have today,” You stopped to bring the phone closer to your face, the bright light illuminating off it making your eyes hurt. How did he have the energy to always sound so formal? More importantly, why did he care how he was perceived when it was just you – he was sending a text message to. You shake your head and continued reading, “Anyway, when you awake please report back to me and tell me you are finally feeling better. It is not quite as fun without you running around on set. Come by for dinner in the cafeteria/ Tom”

Despite your blue state of mind you let out a chuckle, he always finished his messages with a dash and then Tom, like you didn’t already have his number in your phone. He was there yesterday when you broke down crying for no apparent reason, of course, he would be concerned? Right? Why where you giving yourself mixed signals. You considered him a friend, but sadly that’s all he’ll probably ever be, but that had to be enough. It’s that or nothing.

Yesterday had been a particularly hard day, two-thirds of the shoot had relocated to Cairo. Relocating meant unpacking craters of things, things get lost and needed to be found, also new crew members and new actors. There’s a recurrence, if circumstances are stressful and hard for Susanne, the director, things would also be stressful and hard for you, her on-set assistant. The trouble with your sleep had been going on for two months or so, just at the beginning of shooting. Around noon yesterday Tom walked into the designated coffee-room of the hotel we were filming in.

You stood in front of the coffee station, looking at the selection of teas for far too long. Trying to remember how to actually function like a normal human. However, a smile spread across his face as he walked up to you, but as he came closer to you his smile faded into a thin line. Your appearance took him by surprise, a hand appeared on your shoulder before he spoke.“You don’t look too good, Y/N. You haven’t been sleeping.” It wasn’t a question, he knew because you had told him a few weeks before that you had been sleepless. "Like Edward Norton in Fight Club". You remember him saying that it’ll be alright, stress can do that to you.

”Wow thank you tom, not everyone has a makeup team by their side...” You were quick to add, ”Not that you need it of course.” He didn’t let your joking dismiss what he was actually concerned about, the bags under your eyes where deep purple, you looked sick. He just looked at you, both his hands now on your shoulders, gently squeezing and that’s when you started to crumble. A sob escaped your throat and tears started to run down your cheeks, in shock your hands flew up to your mouth knocking his hands off your shoulders. “I'm s-sorry.” You tried to leave the space but Tom didn’t let you.

Quick as lighting your head was situated under his chin, his arms wrapped around your smaller frame. ”Don’t be sorry, Y/N, you just need some rest. Let me ascot you to your room.” His voice soft, he almost whispered it. You began crying, even more, it must have shocked him and he suddenly didn’t know how to console you, he thought his calming-tactic would help. Before you realised someone else’s hands were on you, ”What’s wrong? What happened?” It was Susanne and she wasn’t asking me, she was asking Tom. She rose her hand to my forehead, perhaps to see if you had a temperature. ”She hasn’t been sleeping,” Tom said and you could see Susanna nodding.

[korinsu-t-blog]

May 27 // Kabuki

Oh man oh man oh man. To start off, watching kabuki in real life was honestly a ton of fun. It’s like the Japanese analogue to shakespearean plays: very culturally rooted, lots of deep motifs, and the stories are typically history-based. The particulars of how the plays go aren’t at all like what oldern western style productions tend to do, but I think that’s part of the appeal. It’s a uniquely Japanese take on stage productions.

Overall, we got to see three different kabuki shows back-to-back, with short intermissions. The seats were awfully cramped; I kid you not when I was sitting perfectly straight and upright my knees were flush with the seat in front of me. Supremely uncomfortable in the moment, but I think that looking back on this day in the future will entail a lot more appreciation of what I did get to see. Kabuki performance was, somewhat unironically, a lot like real life Jojo’s: there were a lot of random poses being struck, there was a lot of shouting, and a lot of actors menacingly approaching eachother. Asides from the last play (which was not a historical reenactment, but rather a historical slice of life) the actors spoke veeeeeeeeerryyyyyyyy sloooooooooooowwwwwww. There was almost always a shamisen (3-string banjo), drum, or tap-stick playing to accentuate the lines and actions of the actors, so they didn’t have to deliver everything flatly. Lastly, to reinforce the dynamicness of running and to symbolize the actor striking someone else (such as with a weapon), a single attendant on the side of the stage would slap wooden blocks into the stage to make a really loud clapping noise. This person also used the wood slap to mimic footsteps when actors would enter/leave via the runway going into the crowd- yet another unique feature of Japanese theater.

The first kabuki play was a tale of two brothers who, after being orphaned when their father was killed by one of his allies, spent the next eighteen years tracking down said ally so they could kill him. They were invited into the daimyo’s court by the court jester (sympathetic to their cause), and were about to introduce themselves when the daimyo immediately recognized them as the sons of the guy he had killed eighteen years ago. Deciding that the ruse was indeed up, the sons moved to kill him before the daimyo declared that they couldn’t kill him because “the ancient sacred sword of our people’s is still missing after hundreds of years”. This is very reasonable, of course, so the boys sheathe their swords and are about to sit down again when a runner comes in declaring that they’re found the legendary sacred sword. This ignites the fury of the younger brother once again, but before he can move to kill the daimyo for a second time, the daimyo declares that “I was put in charge of a hunt on mount Fuji for the Shogun in a few months, so you can’t kill me yet!”

This, too, was very reasonable. Taking some tickets to the great hunt as a consolation prize and vowing to meet the daimyo on that fated day, the brothers leave the palace and prepare to... fade to black, ‘cause that’s where the play ends with a little blurb on the text screen that says “they got revenge but died in the attempt.” No ending or anything.

The second play was one of the most popular kabuki productions of all time: Kanjinchou, aka “The Subscription Scroll”. It’s honestly the most well written of the bunch we saw, and tells the tale of an adventuring party consisting of the outcast prince Yoshitsune, the strongest monk in the land Benkei, and their three loyal samurai as they journey away from the lands where Yoshitsune is being hunted by his elder brother. To escape further to the north, they must first sneak through a gatehouse guarded by servants of the elder brother- and to do that, they have to disguise themselves as priests, with Benkei taking the lead and Yoshitsune donning the garb and straw hat of a packman. The gate is on the lookout for priests though, and what ensues is a battle of question and improvisation starting with the leader of the gate guards asking Benkei to read the list of people who are donating money to the stated goal of the monks. No such list exists of course, so Benkei draws out a blank scroll (all while concealing it from the gaze of the commander) and proceeds to improvise a long and grandiose speech using his monk upbringing- basically rolling a Nat 20. The commander knows the scroll is blank, but eventually becomes so enamored with Benkei’s improvisation and constant answers to his deeper and deeper philosophical questions that in the end he resigns himself to an early death and passes Yoshitsune’s party through without letting them know he knows- not before Benkei is forced to beat his own master though. When the party is through the gates, the most touching and emotional part of the play occurs in the form of a conversation between the weeping Benkei- an all-powerful warrior who can lift the mightiest weights yet still faltered when lifting a hand against his own master- and Yoshitsune, who forgives him with a kindness begetting the Buddha.

The last play was, quite simply, Firefighters vs. Sumo in a slow burning drama that eventually ends in a thirty man all-out brawl between the two forces. Well over an hour long, it was entirely worth for the amazing fight scenes at the end which struck the perfect balance of flow, comedy, and drama. Much more a contemporary play, people talked at a normal speed and interacted with much less formality- quite a relief after having to sit through the first two. Not much else needs to be said about it besides that opening sentence.

[The kabuki theater from the exterior. Very nice, one of the largest kabuki-only theaters in Japan.]

[Interior, high up on the third floor balcony.]

[I swear half of these scripts are real life Jojo’s.]

[A painting inside the theater, I thought it was pretty dope.]

[The kabuki theater also happened to be in the supercar district, I saw so many expensive ones rolling around the city.]

[Yes, that is indeed James Bowlingsan.]

[Today’s candid: Ian! He’s a pretty quiet dude but every time he talks it’s absolutely hilarious. His hair is nice, too. 100% a good roommate to have on our floor, I wouldn’t want it any other way- he adds a lot to our day-to-day group.]

==========

Literature review:

Today’s literature was on kabuki. Some fun facts about it:

-Women weren’t allowed to act in kabuki, so men acted as women. These men were so good at acting as women that they actually set fashion trends for women who traveled to see popular kabuki performances. Generally speaking, they were akin to modern day drag-queens? Only the male actors who played female characters tho.

-Kabuki actors were extremely wealthy celebrities that technically occupied the commoner class, making them socially lower than samurai but far more influential.

-Kabuki was originally a thing of the common folk and very unsuited for high courts. It was only over time and extended cultivation through a specific effort to enhance Japanese-specific culture to compete with Western plays and opera that it rose to being honorable enough for even the emperor to view. Nowadays, it’s analogous to Shakespearean plays... not so much when it first came out.

-Kabuki scripts often had to go to great lengths to mock the samurai while still maintaining social order, as it was originally an outlet for expressing dissatisfaction with and rebellion against the samurai class. These methods often included a protagonist who was secretly a high-ranking samurai but who dressed as a commoner for some unusual reason, allowing him (a commoner) to outwit and defeat the samurai without having an actual commoner doing it. I swear officer, he’s really a 500 year old demon samurai, not a commoner.

[horsegirlhob]

a n s w e r t h e m a l l

Jesus take the weel we really gon do this huh?

Well, prepare yourself I guess.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

Mah girlfrien

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Outgoing I guess?

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Courtney Barnette in concert tonight good music I strongly recommend.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I like to think so

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Yeh I’d assume so 

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Smart funny people? Idk.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Yeah

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

No one?

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nah

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My therapist

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

It’s the “Guess I’ll die” picture.

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

You can’t make me choose

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Depends on who it is.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Nah.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I went to france which was litty as a titty (I regret the words that I speak)

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Absolutely

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Yep, definitely

 18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No, but not because of some falling out or anything, we just went to different high schools

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Never had one

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Yeah, overall.

21. What are you bad habits?

I bite my nails and I write all my ‘f’s like fuckin forte symbols

22. Where would you like to travel?

I’d like to go to venice again before it sinks into the ocean

23. Do you have trust issues?

Nah

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Getting home 

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Fuckin boobs

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Pretend that I have not woken up

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Darker because I burn so fuckin easily

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

The neighborhood cat

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Yes my many many exes that I seduced and who are all still in love with me. (Jk I have no exes)

30. Do you ever want to get married?

I really don’t care either way.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Not even remotely

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Jodi Whittaker and Jodi because They’re both great but more importantly their names rhyme

33. Spell your name with your chin.

johanna (I am so impressed with myself you have no idea)

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I used to play soccer and now I do aerial silks

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

Definitely no tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Yeah, of course.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

I usually just poke the other person with a stick like some kind of roadkill racoon

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Don’t really have one

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

The candy ones

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Go to university

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Not everyone but usually (for like minor stuff. Rapists and stuff like that I’m not inclined to give a second chance.)

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m asleep

43. Do you smile at strangers?

I wink suggestively at strangers until they run away.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Outer space.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My mother turning on my light and yelling at me

46. What are you paranoid about?

Everyone hating me

47. Have you ever been high?

Nope.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Once with my grandmother

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Yep

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Yes

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I wish that my chest were smaller (aka no boobs would be a fun time)

53. Favourite makeup brand?

The... face... kind?

54. Favourite store?

the grocery store

55. Favourite blog?

Certainly not my own

56. Favourite colour?

Red

57. Favourite food? 

I’ve always loved all kinds of asian cuisine. Right now I’m kinda craving sushi.

58. Last thing you ate?

A homemade cranberry muffin

59. First thing you ate this morning?

A homemade cranberry muffin

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Some soccer tournaments.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nothing

62. Been arrested? For what?

Arrested for stealing people’s hearts ;)

63. Ever been in love? 

Pass

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

My girlfriend kissed me in the theatre room because no one was there and I was leaving for 2 months and then we sat in silence for half an hour.

65. Are you hungry right now?

Not really

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

What real friends?

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Instagram

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

No.

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

Evelin

71. Craving something? What?

Craving that sweet sweet serotonin

 72. What colour are your towels?

Mostly blue and purple

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

deux

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Oui

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

You mean how many drawers of stuffed animals? the answer is three. Three drawers full. 

75. Favourite animal?

Fox or raccoon

76. What colour is your underwear?

Purple

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

I’m a slut of some good cookie dough

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Black

80. What colour pants?

Grey

81. Favourite tv show?

It’s not my favourite but I just finished watching the good place which is a good show

82. Favourite movie?

Don’t really have one. Maybe Heathers?

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls (never seen 21 jump street)

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Karen

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Crush

87. First person you talked to today?

My mother

88. Last person you talked to today?

My father

89. Name a person you hate?

Jada

90. Name a person you love?

Evelin

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Myself 

92. In a fight with someone?

Myself

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Too many

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

at least 11

95. Last movie you watched?

Ant man and the wasp

96. Favourite actress?

Jodi Whittaker because she’s the first one I could think of.

97. Favourite actor?

David Tennant because I was thinking about doctor who

98. Do you tan a lot?

If by tan you mean burn

99. Have any pets?

I have a little sister

100. How are you feeling?

Depressed and distressed

101. Do you type fast?

Yeah but it’s with really bad technique

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yes

103. Can you spell well?

Absolutely not

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yeah

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes actually

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Only my parents

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yep

108. What should you be doing?

Not this

109. Is something irritating you right now?

Period cramps are a bitch

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Dan and Phil

111. Do you have trust issues?

No and I feel like this was asked already

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My friend probably

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Joji

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yep

115. Do you play the Wii?

Nope

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Always

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yes but only actual Chinese food none of your american Chinese shit

119. Favourite book?

I want my hat back

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

No

121. Are you mean?

Mainly to myself

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

I can’t even keep black shoes clean

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not at all

125. Do you believe in true love?

In a way

126. Are you currently bored?

Not really

127. What makes you happy?

Dan and Phil

128. Would you change your name?

In a heartbeat

129. What your zodiac sign?

Virgo

130. Do you like subway?

I mean it’s not like, my favourite food but I’ll eat it

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

But he’s gay

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

I know for sure that we asked this question already

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

“The paramedic thinks I’m clever cause I play guitar, I think she’s clever cause she stops people dying”

134. Can you count to one million?

No because patience is a virtue

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

“Yeah I have math class next” (I had french class)

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed

137. How tall are you?

5′10

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Well I have straight hair, but I don’t know if this means me or on other people.

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

December

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Nope, I like eating that thick meat.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milky milky goodness

145. Tea or Coffee?

Both

146. Was today a good day?

Objectively

147. Mars or Snickers?

Twix

148. What’s your favourite quote?

[Embrace the void and] have the courage to exist 

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

I am a ghost. 

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou)

“Staring at my reflection in one of those angled shoe-store mirrors when I was six or seven, thinking there was something wrong with my body.”

That was long and I apologize to everyone who follows me.

[austenwilliam]

It’s All Or Nothing, Part Two (Tom x Reader)

Pairing: Tom x Reader

Rating: Suitable for all readers

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: I do not own Tom in any way, shape or form. This is purely for entertainment purposes only. I do not make any money off of this, whatsoever.

Summary: Even though you have it all, there is always something that will make you re-think your situation. Note: This story comes in two parts due to the sheer size of it. It didn’t quite fit on here as a one-shot. So, I hope you like it!

--------------------

(Y/n) politely excused herself as she was partly dragged, partly moved away from them by Tom; taking hold of her hand and leading her away, out of the crowded room. She took another look around to make sure that nobody was watching them as they made their way towards the exit.

Finally, out of sight of everybody else he then pushed her against the nearest wall, trapping her between the plaster and his own body. Before she could even protest, his lips claimed hers in a possessive fashion. Her hands flew to his chest, ready to push him away from her; but the caress of his hands along her thighs, and to her hips, where he gripped tighter, made her give in. Their kiss was filled with hunger and need as he clearly made his intentions clear. He was going to claim this woman for himself and no one was going to stop him.

She gripped on to the lapels of his blazer and moaned wantonly against his clever mouth. The lace of her underwear was lost to the pure lust, making her wet beyond belief. Just on the other side of the wall, which she was delightfully pressed against, stood her husband; completely unaware of her sinful behaviour with the equally naughty actor.

Breathless, Tom pulled back to look at her, his eyes glazed over with an animalistic desire.

"Be mine?" He searched her eyes for her reaction as soon as the words fell from his lips. He saw it almost instantly as she fought between a yes and the expected 'I can't’. He knew that what he was asking of her was beyond selfish, but he couldn't bare it anymore. He wanted to be the one to wake up next to her, to fall asleep with her at night. For her to carry his name, and not the old man's in the other room. 

She bit her lip again. He was cruel to play her this way, asking her in the midst of a passionate moment. She knew that whilst he was so close to her, his presence and proximity infiltrating her every sense, she was unable to form a coherent thought. Her thoughts were a mess and she couldn't make sense of anything. 

"Tom." She began but he stopped her, instantly.

"He can't give you what you need, if he could would you even be here in the first place?" His argument was strong. If she truly loved her husband, then she would not have found herself in the arms of another man. "You can't love him, surely?"

"I... well, no."

"Exactly, so leave him. Come with me and be mine?" He was desperate now. He couldn't allow her to say no to him, even though he was well aware of how selfish it was of him; but for once in his life he was going to put his feelings first. He wanted nothing more than to call her his own, to no longer have to sneak around and hide in dark corners. He wanted to be with her in public and in broad daylight, where everybody could see how much he loved her.

She broke her gaze with the taller man and looked down at the ring that had once fit her perfectly. Suddenly the sparkle that once awed her now offended her. It felt heavier with every passing moment, the band feeling tighter and tighter. She already knew the answer to his question but one of her own was burning in her mind, all the way to the forefront where she asked him, scared;

"What if this is just a phase? What if it's just the excitement of the affair that you love and not me?"

She instantly regretted her question as the warmth of his body that caged her in, moved, leaving her cold. He put a small distance between them both out of shock. He couldn't believe she would ask him such a thing. Especially when he thought that his feelings were clear, for the whole world to see. 

"Just, think about it okay?" Compared to moments before, when they were practically one, he was cold, collected and distant. "I can't continue this way, (Y/n). I can't keep being the man on the side, waiting for the moment he leaves you alone, to attend to business." He sighed as his hands sunk deep in to the pockets of his blazer. "I know it's selfish of me, but I want all of you, or nothing at all." 

He had done it. He had given her an ultimatum. He felt like such a dick for putting her in such a position, but it was just as he had said; he wanted all or nothing. He was not willing to be the side piece anymore and if she was to choose to stay with her husband, he needed to break away and give himself time to get over her.

(Y/n) was struck dumb by his words, not having expected them to come from him at all. Whilst she thought it was unfair of him to put her on the spot, she was also aware of how unfair she had been to him. She had kept him a secret. He was her sordid affair and when her husband was home, she was able to enjoy the company of another; all the while, he was left cold and alone.

"Once you've made up your mind, you'll know where to find me." He sighed and took one last look at the beautiful woman before him, imprinting her on his heart forever, just in case the worst happened, and she would not return to him.

He turned unwillingly and left her standing there, leaving the party to go home and potentially drown his sorrows in the brandy he knew he had waiting in his cupboard.

She watched him leave, his back to her. She watched as he slowly disappeared, and she felt empty all of a sudden. Her hand was still weighed down with the symbol of her marriage, still wrapped around her finger, but it was the least of her worries as her heart felt even heavier. 

****

She paced the length of her bedroom as she thought over all of the ups and downs of staying at the Whittaker home or leaving it for Tom. 

"What could go wrong?" She asked herself as she caught her reflection in the mirror. The person staring back her gave her nothing. No answers, no argument...nothing. She sighed deeply and once again began to pace around her room, twirling her ring around her finger.

It had been a couple of days since the charity event and she had not heard anything from Tom. Not even a single text to see if she had made up her mind. She hated it. She felt as though he had gone completely, erasing himself out of her life altogether. In fairness she knew he would give her the space and time to think about it all; but, at the same time, he was preparing himself for not being able to see her, ever again. 

She stopped in the middle of her beautifully decorated room and took in every detail. It wasn't until she really looked that she began to notice the cracks in the painting, and the cobwebs in the corners, where the ceiling met the wall. It was the perfect metaphor for her marriage. Perfect and well decorated to the untrained eye; but should they look closer, they would see that it was all a show. Her reflection was as pale and greying as the colour palette of the whole house. There was no colour to her cheeks or even a hint of light in her eyes.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. As she slowly exhaled she pulled the diamond ring from around her finger, until it was off completely. Suddenly she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and her body was left feeling lighter. She brought the piece of jewellery up to eye level to carefully examine it. The rock had certainly lost its shine since the day it was first placed on her ring finger. Looking at it still, (Y/n) then knew what she had to do.

Immediately she began to pack up all of her belongings, mostly those that she could easily fit in to one suitcase for the time being. Once she was sure she had everything that she needed, she placed the suitcase by the door of the large home she once shared happily with her husband. 

Taking an envelope from her pocket which contained her ring and a letter, she placed it carefully on the mantel piece of the fireplace in the hall. Her cursive writing stood out proud against the cream coloured envelope, neatly addressed to 'Dear Albert'. With one last look about her home, she then bravely grabbed the handle of her suitcase and opened the large wooden door to her freedom. Looking at the line between inside and out, she took in a deep breath, before stepping over the border from marriage in to the single life. Closing the door behind her she took one last look at it before rushing down the steps to hail a taxi. 

Destination, Tom.

**** 

It was late in the evening and Tom was happily engrossed in the script of a new film proposed to him by a fellow director. It was the best he could do to keep his mind off of her. In the past few days he had let her be and gave her the time she needed to come to a decision. He did not see her or speak to her. It hurt but avoiding her meant the inevitable heartbreak would be easier to handle, if only by a little. Should she decide to stay with her husband, he could then begin to close off his feelings for her and start new. 

He was beginning to feel as though he was going to have to make more of an effort to get over her as he had still not heard anything. In his mind he had pictured her running straight to him after the party, to confess her love for him, which made him laugh. He had been watching far too many romantic films where the outcome to his particular situation was exactly that. Yet, he had heard nothing. 

Rain hammered hard outside, so hard that he barely heard the knock that broke the silence of his home. Thinking nothing of it he left it until he heard it again. Placing the script down, he listened out for the sound, making sure he wasn’t hearing things. Tuning out natures soundtrack he then heard a knock that came from his front door.

He furrowed his eyebrows and stood, leading to the front door where the knocking became incessant.

"Okay, okay. I'm coming." He tutted and flung the door open in annoyance as he finally reached it only to be met with a sight he did not expect to see.

Slightly damp from the unexpected weather stood (Y/n), a newspaper held barely over her head, as she vainly attempted to shield herself from the rain. 

It took a moment for him to come around, not quite believing she was there. She cleared her throat, hoping he would invite her in, since the newspaper was failing to shield her from the rain, her hair now soaked. Yet, she still held it above her head.

Without saying a word, he stepped aside and gestured for her to join him inside. She thankfully accepted his invitation and stepped in to his home. She looked about for a place to put the sodden paper. 

He took it from her hands and threw it carelessly to the side. He was more interested in her reasons for gracing him with her presence rather than a makeshift umbrella.

Her dark chocolate hues stared up at his crystal blues and knew that she had made the right choice. She would miss the sparkle of the boyish blues too much.

"I left him. He doesn't know it yet but..." She showed him her ring less finger to emphasise her point.

He admired the lack of the garish and offensive diamond, cracking a gentle smile.

"It looks good on you,” he paused. “The whole ring less thing." 

"I was hoping you'd like it. So..." She was suddenly silenced by the man before her, as he moved to capture her in his arms, his lips happily claiming hers. He let off a gentle groan as he tasted her, not having tasted her in so long. His hands then circled her waist, holding her close to him. After the time he had spent waiting for her, there was no chance he was going to let her go.

For the first time since they had met she allowed herself to fully enjoy his embrace. There was no more worry, no panic and no need to look over her shoulder. She was free to drink in the love he openly gave to her, without a care for who saw or who said anything.

With heated kisses and desperate touches, the beautiful two stumbled and tripped on their way to the bedroom where he made love to her like it was the first time. He loved her body, every inch rediscovered; but this time she belonged to no other but himself. He claimed her, body and soul, making sure the whole world could hear her, as she moaned and called out his name. Unafraid and without a care, she let them all know that she was his, and only his. Finally.

--------------------

@lairdofbrochtuarach​

@fizzy-custard @hannibatchsmuse

@patanghill17​ @e-c-swing​ @nelswp​ @nellindreams @true-queen-of-mischief​ @nowiloveandwilllove​

[comicbookgeek13]

How to Properly Adapt Stephen King’s The Shining into a Movie

I always thought it’d be cool to see someone adapt Stephen King’s The Shining more faithfully than Kubrick and with more skill than the miniseries.  So, I wrote up a rough outline for that movie for fun after finally reading the book.

Stephen King’s

The Shining

Characters

·        Jack Torrance-A man in his 30’s, Jack is attractive in that dad sort of way.  A loving father and husband, Jack relies on jokes to mask his anger issues and status as a recovering alcoholic.  Jack’s main triggers are authority, stress, and his deep-seated self-loathing, and this is what the Overlook uses to break him. Once he has been ruined by the Overlook, Jack is violent, vulgar, and venomous, not the ever-lovable Jack Nicholson oozing his unique crazy charisma.

·        Wendy Torrance-Also in her 30’s, Wendy is a blond-haired knockout of a woman. She’s introspective, observant, and fierce.  She deeply loves both her husband and son, but feels somewhat excluded by closeness. She knows to distrust the Overlook and its influence on Jack when it becomes apparent that something isn’t right about the hotel.  She’s also keen to Danny’s “Shine”, and is unsurprised when he tells her and Jack about it.

·        Danny Torrance-A boy of 10-years-old with dirty-blonde hair, Danny is a quiet boy who desperately loves his Mom and Dad, and wants them to love on another. Visions shown to him by “Tony” warn him of the Overlook, and his Shining allows for minor mind reading and precognition. He is likeable, not creepy.  His actor should be talented and believable.  

·        Dick Hallorann-A black man in his late 40’s/early 50’s, Dick is a symbol of wisdom and comfort to the audience.  A laid-back kind of cool, Dick has a kind of humorous approach to life that causes him to ooze a content love of life.  

·        Stuart Ulman-A man in his 40’s, Stuart is the pompous and cold manager of the Overlook. He’s incredibly punchable.

·        Watson-Watson is the foul-mouthed and charismatic maintenance man of the Overlook.

·        Delbert Grady-A thuggish-looking man, Grady is the last caretaker before Jack. As a phantom, Grady has been totally altered and is the fate awaiting Jack if the Overlook has its way.

·        Floyd-A man with the sort of dignified, gaunt features that call to mind Peter Cushing, Floyd is the Overlook personified by Jack Torrance’s inner-demons. A friendly, refined bartender, Floyd is sympathetic and encouraging of Jack’s selfish feelings of anger and self-pity.

Location

The film should have the exterior shots be of the Stanley Hotel, but create the interiors in a studio as was done with the Kubrick film.  As things get worse, the set design should take inspiration from the illogical layout of Kubrick’s Overlook.

Transitions

During scenes transitions, the date and time should be displayed in the lower right-hand corner.  Scenes that take place on the same day as previous scenes should only display the time.

Act I

         August 15th, 1980, 1:30 PM

         The first scene is of Jack Torrance being interviewed by the manager of the Overlook, Stuart Ulman, for the position of the hotel’s winter caretaker.  Ulman is a very strict manager who expects only the very best for the Overlook.  Ulman brings up Jack’s history as an alcoholic, and that he lost his job at Stovington Prep school due to an unspecified violent incident. Jack, though he keeps up a job-interview appropriate air, asks Ulman why he’s bothering to see him if he has so many issues with him.  Ulman tells Jack about the previous caretaker, Delbert Grady.  Grady was an alcoholic and high school dropout.  He was also a husband and father of two girls. During the dead of Winter, Grady murdered his wife and daughters with an axe before blowing his brains out with a shotgun.  Ulman tells Jack that he just wants to be sure Jack’s history of alcoholism and anger-problems won’t be an issue.  Jack reassures Ulman that he won’t have the same problem with him.  He’s working on a play, he and his wife, Wendy, are both big readers, and they’ll be home-schooling their son, Danny, over the winter.  Despite Jack’s sensitivity towards Ulman’s fears, Ulman is still unpleasant towards Jack. He does give Jack the job, though, and says he should go speak to the maintenance man, Watson, about the boiler.

         1:45 PM

         This scene has Jack walking with the astonishingly blue-collar Watson in the guts of the Overlook while they conversate with one another.  Watson explains to Jack just why Ulman keeps his job.  “Ulman knows how to keep shit running good, yeah, but that ain’t why he’s so goddamned good for this place.  He knows how to keep shit out of the papers.  Every hotels got its fair share of ghosts, yeah, but the Overlook’s have a flair for the dramatic.  He told you about that shit with Grady, right?  Well, that ain’t the only time some fucking thing has cropped up that the papers would have had a field-day with, but Ulman has always kept that shit quiet.  Had this wife of some shyster come in with her 30-years-younger boyfriend, right?  Boyfriend skipped out one night, and wifey slits her wrists in the tub.  Ulman shut the shyster AND the reporters up.  He’s a viscous little prick, yeah, but he knows what the fuck he’s doing.”  He then tells Jack about how sensitive the boiler is due to age, noting that the only reason the Overlook is even still around is that Grady shut it down before killing himself, and how to operate it.

         3:25 PM

         This scene has Wendy Torrance doing dishes in the little apartment they’ve been living in, eying Danny through the kitchen window. He’s sitting on the curb, waiting for his Daddy to get home with the news about the Overlook.  She dries her hands, and goes to sit with her son.  She asks what he’s doing, and he tells her what she already knew.  She notices a toy plane of his sitting next to him, the right wing just barely attached, and she offers to fix it.  Danny declines her offer, saying he wants Jack to fix it.  She asks Danny how he feels about Jack getting a new job.  Danny says he doesn’t understand why Jack can’t just get a job in the town they live in now.  After searching for the words for a few ticks of the clock, she asks if he remember why his Daddy lost his last job.  Danny says he knows it had something to do with their bug’s tires getting slashed.  Wendy explains that the father of one of Jack’s students was unhappy that Jack cut his son from the debate taem.  Danny asks if Jack punished the boy’s father too hard like he had Danny.  An affected Wendy closes her eyes to keep herself calm.  We cut to Wendy holding an 8-years-old Danny, whose arm has been broken and is sobbing over it, and calling an ambulance.  Another cut, this one to Jack’s office, papers of his play strewn everywhere and drawn on.  There’s a spilled can of beer on the floor.  Jack’s curled up in a ball.  “Worthless, stupid…Just like him, just like him, just like him…Oh God, I’m so sorry, Doc…”. Cut back to Wendy in the present, who opens her eyes before finally giving a “Yes.”  She says that it was very hard for Jack to get a job because of this.  She adds that the Overlook provides a chance for Jack to prove he can do better. Danny nods to all this.  Wendy asks if he wants to come in to eat cookies, but he declines.  Wendy goes back inside.  Danny remains on the curb.  The wind picks up, and a voice is heard whispering Danny’s name.  “T-Tony?”  Danny becomes visibly drowsy before falling back-first to lay on the soft grass of the Torrance’s lawn, asleep.  What follows is a quickly cut together montage with the only sound being that of various people screaming.  There’s the wrecked interior of the Overlook, the windows blocked up by snow.  Danny’s feet running on a blue-black carpet with vaguely jungle-like patterning to it.  A new sound emerges, that of thunderous impacts.  The screen goes black, and red jagged text spells out, “COME HERE, AND TAKE YOUR MEDICINE, YOU LITTLE SHIT!  TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!”.  A shot of Wendy running with a limp down the hallway of the Overlook, clutching her left side with blood running out of her mouth.  Black screen again and red letters saying “RED RUM” appear until the screen is solid red.  Danny wakes up with a start, and sits up to see their yellow volkswagon turning down the street.  Clearly excited, Danny meets Jack when he gets out of the car.  Jack sees Danny’s plane, and says he’ll help fix it once they bring in the groceries.  Wendy comes out to greet them, and asks if Jack got the job.  Jack answers with a game show host voice declaring she’s the lucky winner of an all-expenses-paid family trip to the mountains of Colorado. She’s elated, and they kiss.

         8:30 PM

         This scene shows Danny, clutching his mended plane, sitting with Jack on the couch.  The both of them have fallen asleep in front of the TV. Wendy turns it off, waking Jack, and she says it’s time for bed.  We cut to Jack placing Danny in his bed, Wendy watching from the doorway to their son’s room.  Jack joins her there, and they look at their son.  Wendy says that things finally seem to really be looking up for them.  Jack tells her that it’s because they are.  They both profess their love for one another.

         September 30th, 1980, 10:30 AM

         We see the Torrances driving down a road that cuts through the piney forests of Colorado.  The forests give way to the mountains, and we see the Overlook in the distance.  They pull into a parking space, other cars leaving, and Jack tells the other members of their trio, “We’re here.”  They enter a lobby full of all sorts of people leaving.  In the center of this chaos is Ulman.  They approach him to talk, but he tells them to go meet with the hotel’s cook, Hallorann, for a tour of the kitchen.

         10:36 AM

         This scene shows Dick Hallorann in the apartment the hotel provides for him, luggage packed up.  There’s a knocking at the door, and Dick goes to answer it.  The Torrances introduce themselves, and Dick is very warm and happy to see them.  He jokingly offers to take Danny with him to Tampa, Florida, which makes the boy giggle. He then offers to take the family to the kitchen for a tour.

         10:45 AM

         While giving them the tour of the kitchen, listing off the Overlook’s stock as well as the turkey he bought for them to use on Thanksgiving, he pretends to forget what his name is.  He asks Danny what it is, and Danny says, “Mr. Hallorann, Dick to your friends.” Hallorann replies with, “Then I guess you can call me Dick, then.  Can you dig it.”  Danny says that he can.  After the tour, Hallorann goes back to his apartment with the Torrances.  Jack says they ought to go see Ulman off, but Danny insists on helping Dick with his luggage.  Dick assures them he’ll bring Danny back to them before he leaves.

         10:52 AM

         The next scene shows Dick and Danny loading his bags into the trunk of Dick’s car.  Dick asks if Danny’s told his parents about his powers, the older man’s mouth not moving when he says it.  Danny, visibly surprised, says no.  He asks Danny if he thought he was the only one with powers. Danny says no, that he knows his Dad has a little that lets him know how Wendy and him are feeling at any given time. He doesn’t think his Dad is aware of it, though.  Dick tells Danny that his Grandma was the one with powers that he knew.  He tells him that she called it “The Shining”.  Next, Dick asks if Danny’s had any visions or bad feelings about the Overlook.  The boy says yes.  Dick tells him that there’s good reason for that.  That there’s something wrong about the Overlook.  That it will try to scare him by showing him scary things, but that he doesn’t think that they can hurt him.  He does advise that Danny avoid the topiary animals and Room 217, though.  He says that if things do look like he or his family will be hurt, Danny should call out to him with his Shine, and Dick will come to save him.  Then he and Danny head to get the boy back to his parents.

         11:15 AM

         This scene has the Torrances with Ulman in the now-deserted lobby. Though still very punchable, Ulman wishes them luck.  The Torrances watch him leave, and take in the view. Then, Danny says he’s hungry.

         12:05 PM

         This scene shows the Torrances eating their lunch in the deserted Colorado Lounge.  Jack says that the activity feels weirder than he’d thought it would be, and asks if Wendy and Danny feel the same.  They do, and the family move to eat in the living room of Dick’s apartment to eat lunch while watching TV.  They are all very happy.

         October 13th, 1980, 7:30 PM

         This scene has Jack working on his play in the caretaker’s office, and Danny working on his time-tables in the employee bedroom just across from where Jack and Wendy are sleeping.  Wendy pokes her head into her son’s room, and tells him to brush his teeth and go to bed.  He does this, but, while brushing his teeth, the voice from before calls his name. Wendy knocks on the door to check if Danny’s still in there, but Danny doesn’t answer.  She knocks harder and calls Danny’s name.  Jack hears her, and comes down to check on Danny too.  After Danny continues to not answer, they break the door down to find Danny seizing on the floor, toothpaste running out of his mouth.

         October 14th, 1980, 10:00 AM

         The next scene has the Torraces waiting in a doctor’s office. A nurse calls for Danny, who goes to see the doctor.  His parents look worried, and we cut to them talking with the doctor.  He asks them if they know about Tony.  They acknowledge they do, Wendy saying that she’d hoped Danny had finally outgrown the imaginary friend.  He tells her that Danny told him that the two of them had been considering divorce recently.  They say that they were, but it wasn’t something they talked about out loud. They wonder aloud about how he could’ve known, and this causes stories to come out about Danny knowing where things were when no one else did.  The doctor then asks if the divorce was a thing brought upon by some sort of event. They seem pensive, and then Jack tells the doctor about his alcoholism, breaking Danny’s arm, that leading to his dropping drinking, and what lead to Jack losing his job at Stovington.  There seems to be a relief brought about by their talking about this aloud.  The doctor explains that Danny probably has a lot of perceptiveness about him that allows for him to notice things like the divorce being in the air and where things go. The doctor also explains that Tony was likely created as an escape when things were bad in the house, and now Danny was making him a negative force so that he can outgrow him.  Jack seems convinced about that, but Wendy, not so much. Cut to Jack and Wendy going back out to Danny, and Jack saying that they should head back to the Overlook.  He calls it “home”.

Act II

         October 16th, 1980, 12:00 PM

         This scene has Jack Torrance nosing around in the guts of the Overlook.  The area he’s in is chock full of piles and piles of old paper.  Newspapers, receipts, check in/check out logs, magazines, and junk mail.  He’s looking for rats.  Jack looks like he’s ready to leave when he notices a large, white photo album with “The Life of The Overlook” written on the front cover in faux gold.

         1:15 PM

         Jack’s looking through the album in the living area of Dick Hallorann’s apartment, enraptured.  Wendy comes in and asks him what it is he finds so interesting.  Jack tells her that the book is a compilation of newspaper and magazine articles having to do with the Overlook’s history. It goes all the way back to the beginning.  It turns out that Watson’s family were the ones to open the place.  During the time that they owned the place, two presidents stayed there.  The Great Depression killed it.  The history becomes truly interesting in the 40’s.  Henry Derwint, a famous and reclusive businessman of the day, bought the place a little into World War II.  He was the one to update the Overlook’s interiors.  One night, a masquerade party was held.  After everyone had unmasked at the stroke of midnight, a spurned lover slit Derwint’s throat with a straight razor, killing him, before slitting his own throat, committing suicide.  After that, the place was turned into a glorified whore house. After that was done, the mob got the place.  The kept it as a location to hold meetings at until there was a gangland-style murder of a lieutenant and his five bodyguards by other mobsters in the suite that the presidents had stayed in.  The Overlook lay abandoned throughout the sixties.  Ulman and his took the place over in 1972.  “It’s like the dark side of every post-World War II phase in America is represented here.”  Wendy thinks it morbid, but Jack says it might make a great book someday.

         October 19th, 1980, 10:05 AM

         This scene shows Jack cooling the boiler off.

         11:03 AM

         Jack working on his play in the caretaker’s office, Wendy reading a book and Danny watching TV in the living area of Dick Hallorann’s apartment.

         12:05 PM

         The Torrances building a snowman.

         October 20th, 1980, 2:00 PM

         We see Wendy rocking in a rocking chair, further into reading the same book, and Danny sleeping with Lego all around him.  They are in the lobby of the Overlook.  Wendy hears what sounds like jazz music and looks up from her book, concerned.  The music stops, but her expression doesn’t change.  

          October 22nd, 1980, 1:45 PM

         We see Jack and Wendy making love in the hotel room they’re sleeping in.  Meanwhile, Danny’s wandering the halls and listening to The Hobbit on tape using a Walkman with Jack’s name on it.  He walks past one of the old-fashioned fire-extinguishers.  His tape’s audio begins to slow down until the tape is stopped completely.  Looking frustrated, Danny starts to take out the Walkman to examine it, but is stopped when he hears something fall to the blue-black vaguely jungle patterned carpet of the Overlook’s hallways with a thud.  He looks over, and sees that the head of the hose has fallen.  The sound of insects buzzing starts to play, and a lump begins to appear in the hose.  Danny watches with wide-eyed horror as the lump inches further and further down the hose while the buzzing gets louder.  A giant wasp begins to emerge from the nozzle.  It’s halfway out when Danny runs away.  His tape starts back up, and Danny looks back at the hose. It’s just a hose lying on the carpet.

         October 28th, 1980, 10:00 AM

         We see Jack putting on winter clothes in the caretaker’s office.  Wendy and Danny come by, and asks if he wants to come with her and Danny to do some grocery shopping.  He declines, saying he needs to trim the topiary animals before the heavy snowfall hits. We see the Overlook’s pickup truck go off, Jack heading towards the topiary.

         10:15 AM

         We have Danny and Wendy driving in the pickup truck. Looking visibly unsure, Danny asks if Wendy likes the Overlook.  Wendy asks him why he asks.  Danny says he thinks that it’s kind of creepy.  Wendy asks if he thinks there’s anything dangerous about it.  Danny says that he doesn’t think so.  Wendy asks him what Tony says about it.  Danny says Tony thinks there’s something in the Overlook that wants to hurt Jack. Wendy is visibly worried.

         10:22 AM

         Jack has just finished trimming up the rabbit.  We get a good establishing shot to let us know where all the topiary animals.  Jack starts heading for the lion.  “You may be king of the jungle, but I’m king of the clippers, baby.”  He starts trimming it up, but hears the sound of snow falling in chunks.  He turns and we get a POV shot of Jack scanning the scene until he notices that the rabbit is on its belly now, clean of snow.  A shot of a confused Jack saying “What?”.  The sound of snow chunks again.  Jack turns to see that the lion is gone.  He’s still processing the sight when he hears footsteps behind him.  He turns to see all of the animals in the topiary facing him, the lion leading the pack.  Jack looks rightfully scared.  Sequence of Jack blinking and the animals getting closer until Jack falls backwards into the snow.  When he scrambles up to his feet, afraid, the animals are all in place again, snow where it should be.  Jack looks terrified.  “You’re losing your mind…”  Jack gets to his feet proper with a “No!”.  As he cleans off the snow and gets the clippers, he mutters things to soothe himself.  

         6:30 PM

         Jack is sitting in the caretaker’s office, staring at the typewriter and the blank page it holds.  He is frustrated.  Wendy pokes her head in, and asks if he wants to come watch Star Wars with her and Danny. Jack looks at the blank page for a beat, and says he’ll join her.

         November 8th, 1980, 7:30 PM

         We see that Jack has made a path in the snow for the door leading outside from the kitchen.  He tosses some grease out through there.  

         November 11th, 1980, 1:15 PM

         Wendy’s in front of the fireplace again, sleeping.  Jack is in the caretaker’s office, reading “The Life of The Overlook”.  We see the key rack in that office, and the key for 217 is missing.  Cut to Danny standing in front of Room 217 with the key. “I’m not afraid of you.”  Despite his determined words and tone, Danny opens the door cautiously.  The room is in darkness, the lights off and curtains drawn.  Danny sighs with relief.  “Empty…”  Then there’s a sound in the bathroom.  Cautiously, Danny goes into the bathroom.  The shower curtain is drawn around the tub.  Danny approaches, and pulls it back.  A long-dead woman, skin thin and pale, belly bloated, lies naked in water that has a thin layer of scum made from old blood and chunks that have come off.  Danny is wide-eyed in his terror.  The woman opens her eyes, goo webbing between the lids, and reveals that they are a solid white.  She smiles, the skin at the corners of her mouth ripping.  She begins to get out of the tub, and Danny steps back out of fear. We cut to Jack, whose now asleep in his chair, “The Life of The Overlook” lying in his lap now.  The CB radio that’s been on the desk in that office crackles to life.  “Jackyyy…Jacky-Boyy…”  The voice that speaks of someone who is husky and drunk, and it stirs Jack out of sleep. “D-Dad?”  The voice goes on.  “That’s right, Jack-Boy!”  “But you’re dead, Dad.” “Hey, watch your mouth, Pup!  I’m here now, ain’t  I?  So do somethin’ smart for once, and listen to what the old man’s got to say!  It’s that wife and kid, Jacky, that bitch and her little pup.  You gotta kill ‘em, Jacky.  They’re gonna stab you right in you’re back!  Sabotage any progress you make as a writer.  As the caretaker.  As a man, Jacky!”  Jack says no, and for his Dad to shut up, but the voice goes on.  “Kill ‘em, runt!  Bash that cunt’s brains in, and rip the pup’s arm off!  They gotta take their medi—”  The voice is cut off when Jack smashes the CB, the noise waking Wendy. She gets out of the rocking chair, and rushes to Jack.  Jack’s standing over the radio, fists clenched and shaking.  He looks to her, afraid.  She goes to him, and they embrace.  He explains that he had a nightmare that his Dad was talking to him through the CB, telling him to do terrible things, and that he must’ve destroyed it by sleepwalking.  He talks about how he’s ruined their only means of communication.  She comforts him, and asks where Danny is.  Jack says he thought that Danny was with her in the lobby.  They both notice the key to Room 217 missing from its ring.  Cut to the woman walking out of the bathroom, arms outreached and giggling like some kind of witch.  Danny’s got his back to the door of Room 217, scared out of his mind.  He sinks to his feet, muttering about her not being real. She wraps her fingers around Danny’s throat.  Cut to outside the room door, Jack and Wendy just reaching it.  Using his master key, Jack opens the door to the room.  Danny falls out into his Father’s arms.  Danny is totally unresponsive, catatonic, and Jack notices bruises shaped like fingers on his son’s neck.  Wendy notices this too, and takes Danny from Jack. “Don’t touch him!”  Jack, initially confused, quickly becomes furious that Wendy would suspect that he’d ever hurt Danny.  Wendy tells Jack to stay away, and leaves for the hotel room they’ve been sleeping in.  Jack is left to stew in the hallway, head down and fists clenched.

         1:45 PM

         The scene starts with Wendy cradling Danny in her and Jack’s room.  Cut to Jack entering the Colorado Lounge.  It is entirely empty, chairs on all of the tables.  Jack approaches the bar, and sits on one of the stools.  The camera faces Jack for the next sequence. He looks down at the bar sour before looking up, grinning a hateful smile.  “Hi, Floyd.  Say, you’re a man whose heard his fair share of woe, right, Floyd?  ‘Course you have!  You’re a bartender, and the best of them at that!  I Imagine you’ll know what I mean when I tell you I feel like a ghost.  I mean, I spend all of my time making sure my wife and kid are happy.  I took a job that gave us access to one of the finest luxury hotels in America, and hopped on this damned wagon for them.  Does anyone notice?  Anyone thank or appreciate me?”  Pause.  “Exactly right, Floyd!  Like I said, I’ve gotta be some kind of goddamned ghost for no one to notice me doing all of this.  No, I’m not crazy, Floyd, I know that I’m no ghost.  It’s just that she’s too damned busy giving me shit for something that happened two years ago!  Something I already fucking hate myself for!  And I do hate myself, Floyd, you can set your watch and warrant on that.  I tell you, Floyd, it’s enough to drive a man to drink.  And on that note...”, Jack pauses, reflective and drops the joke.  “Stop being pathetic for once, Jack, and go check on your wife and son.”, Jack says to himself in a small, self-loathing voice.  Before he can get up, though, Wendy calls out to him from behind. She’s at the Lounge’s entrance, holding the still-catatonic Danny’s hand.  Jack says something, but Wendy can’t make it out.  “What?”, she asks.  “I didn’t hurt him!”, Jack yells.  A shameful look appears on Wendy’s face.  “I know, Jack, and…I’m sorry.  I’m scared Jack…”, she says.  Jack says he is too, and gets up from the bar to go to his wife and son.  As Jack approaches, Danny comes out of his daze, and runs into his father’s arm, sobbing.  

         2:20 PM

         The Torrances are gathered in the kitchen.  Wendy has just made chocolate milk for Danny.  When asked what happened, Danny tells his folks everything.  About his powers, Dick’s own powers and warnings to Danny, and Tony’s warning him with visions.  Jack asks why Danny took the key without permission, and Wendy looks annoyed that he would care about that given the situation.  Danny says that he wanted to prove to himself that there was nothing the hotel could do to hurt them.  “But, she was in there.”  Danny then tells his concerned parents about the dead thing living inside Room 217.  When Jack goes to check it out, he takes the elevator, and this causes Wendy to fret about it not being safe.  Jack doesn’t pay her fears any attention.

         2:32 PM

         Jack enters Room 217, and finds it be in the same state it was in when Danny entered.  He goes into the bathroom, where the light is off.  After turning it on, he sees the curtain pulled around the tub.  He pulls it back, and finds nothing but an empty tub. He sighs with relief at this.  Cut to Jack closing the door to Room 217, and walking down the hallway.  He’s stopped in his tracks when the doorknob begins to rattle furiously as if someone inside is trying desperately to get out.  Then, the rattling stops, and we get a look at the fear on Jack’s face.

         9:30 PM

         Jack and Wendy are sitting at the end of their bed, Danny sleeping between where they’ll sleep.  Their room is lit only by the lamp on the nightstand next to the bed. Wendy says they need to get out of the Overlook ASAP, and Jack agrees.  This said, he expresses fear over how they’ll survive after they get away without any money or job.  Wendy says they’ll stay with her Mother’s, and they’ll both find work there somehow until they can get back on their feet.  Jack looks worried, and Wendy, noticing this, says they have to get away if they want to be safe.  Jack says that she’s right, and that he’ll go see the state of the hotel’s snowmobile being kept in the supply shed the following day.

         November 12th, 1980, 8:15 AM

         The screen is dark.  Then light enters when Jack opens the door to the supply shed.  He flicks the lights on, and we get a look at the shed’s contents.  He pops the hood to the snowmobile to find a corroded battery.  Jack searches the room for a box for the same type of battery. He finds one, but it is empty when he opens it.  Jack, clearly upset, sets the box down on a work table.  Jack turns the light off, leaving all in darkness once more.  The light that enters the room when Jack leaves reveals the still-open box on the workbench, a new battery inside.  The door shuts, and all is darkness once more.

Act III

         November 25th, 1980, 4:30 PM

         This scene shows Jack in the hotel’s guts, reading “The Life of The Overlook”.  Cut to Wendy and Danny doing multiplication tables in Jack and Wendy’s room.  The presence of Danny’s things in the room tells us that is also his room now.  Cut to the empty Colorado Lounge.  Cut to the door of Room 217.  Cut to the topiary animals, half-buried in the snow with even more falling.  The wind can be heard howling in every part of this scene except for Jack’s.

         November 28th, 1980, 3:00 AM

         Danny and Wendy are sleeping in the bed, Jack’s side showing that he’s gotten up.  The sound of the elevator going up and down is audible.  Danny wakes up, and shakes his Mother awake.  The two of them go to find out what’s going on.  They find Jack watching the elevator go up and down, in a daze.  Wendy calls out to him, and he stirs, asking what she and Danny are doing up.  Wendy asks what it is that he’s doing. Annoyed, Jack says he’s doing his job, and checking on the clearly malfunctioning elevator.  Jack inserts a key into a panel, stopping the elevator. Wendy insists that he check the elevator’s interior for any passengers.  He does, and finds an empty elevator.  Dissatisfied, Wendy check herself, and finds confetti and masquerade masks strewn all about the elevator floor.  She tosses a mask at Jack.  “Does this look like nothing?!”

         November 29th, 1980, 5:30 PM

         Jack is standing in the bathroom of Room 217.  The curtain is again drawn around the tub.  He pulls it back to find a badly beaten woman lying in the empty tub. “Mom?”, he asks in a scared voice. His father speaks up from behind him. “Shut that bitch up good, didn’t I, Jacky Boy?”.  Jack turns around.  His father, a large, mustachioed man in bloodied scrubs, sits on the end of the bed inside the darkened Room 217.  He’s holding a bottle of Jack Daniel’s in his right hand.  He takes a swig from it as Jack approaches.  Jack is stunned and confused.  There is a long, black cane with a golden sphere topping it next to his Dad on the bed.  It’s covered in blood.  “Yep, I had to reassert myself as the one in charge, Jacky.  Had to give that bitch her medicine.”  His father looks at Jack, and points at his son using the index-finger of his booze-holding hand.  “That’s what you gotta do, Jacky, you gotta reassert yourself as th’ man in charge!” “Dad, I am the one in—” “SHUT THE FUCK UP, PUP, I AIN’T THROUGH!  You don’t want to lose steam on that play of yours, do you, Jacky?” “No…” “You don’t want you and yours to scrounge around for food in th’ gargbage like a pack of rats, do you?”  “No…” “You don’t want to leave the Overlook, do you?”  Jack is quiet.  “DO YOU?” “N-No, sir.”  Jack’s father stands up from the end of the bed.  He puts his hands on Jack’s shoulders.  “Then you gotta be a man, Jacky.  And how do you do that?” “Make them take their m-medicine.”  “I can’t hear you, pup!” “They’ve gotta take their medicine!” Jack’s become visibly angry now.  “Who does, boy?”  “That bitch and her whining, little pup!” “Atta’ boy, Jacky!  Here—“, Jack’s Father picks up the cane.  When he gives it to Jack, though, it’s become a clean Roque mallet. “Go make ‘em take every last drop.” Jack leaves the room, mallet in tow, and finds Wendy and Danny having a picnic in the hallway.  They look up at him, lovingly, and Jack prepares to swing. Jack wakes up in the Overlook’s guts, “The Life of The Overlook” in his lap, terrified.  He cries.  It as this point in the scene that the date and time are displayed.

          December 1st, 1980, 9:30 PM

         Danny is running down the blueback carpet hallways of the Overlook.  The sound of screaming and of the thunderous impacts behind are all the sound that exists. We see a Roque mallet impacting the walls, denting holes in them, and splintering the mallet a little more with each impact.  There’s blood on the mallet.  Wendy is in the Torrance’s bedroom, blood running out of her mouth in a way that makes her look like some kind of puppet.  The screen goes black again and “RED RUM” turns it red.  The deserted Colorado lounge.  The Torrance’s rooms’ door beginning to splinter and cave in from some pounding outside force.  Cut back to the red screen with “MURDER” in black until the screen is as it was originally.  The date December 2nd, 1980 in red.  Danny wakes up in the bed next to Wendy.  He looks to see Jack’s side is empty.  Danny closes his eyes tightly.  Cut to Dick Hallorann playing poker with some friends in Tampa, Florida. Dick is all smiles and laughs, and suddenly becomes serious.  Intercut of scenes from Danny’s vision.  Dick says he’s gotta go.

         December 1st, 1980, 9:45 PM

         Danny gets up out of bed, and goes out into the hallway. The hallway proves to be home to a drunk man in a dog costume, his mask in one hand.  “Henry!  Henry!!!” He leans his head back as he yells louder.  This reveals an open, bleeding wound where his throat’s been slit.  His voice becomes high and scratchy when his head is like this.  “HENRY, COME OUT HERE, YOU BITCH!!!” He looks down, noticing Danny.  Danny says for the man to get out of his way so that he can go see Jack.  The dog-man grins.  “I’m going to eat you, little boy!”  He starts barking, actual dog barks coming out.  Danny closes his eyes saying that this isn’t real.  When he opens them, the dog-man is on his hands and knees.  He is barking and growling now.  He looks ready to pounce Danny, and the boy runs back into the hotel room.  He curls into a ball next to his Mom, looking at her.

         10:00 PM

         Jack is relieving the Overlook’s boiler.  After he does so, he hears music playing, and leaves to investigate.  Inside the Colorado Lounge, there’s a party on.  There are people masquerading in themed masks.  There are prostitutes fucking party-guests.  There’s mobsters talking business.  There’s a big band playing “No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature”. At the bar is Floyd.  Jack has a bemused look on his face as he makes his way through all of this.  Jack takes the seat right in front of Floyd.  “It’s been some time since we’ve had the pleasure of your company, Mr. Torrance.”, Floyd greets him.  “That’s right, Floyd, but I’m back.”  “What will it be, sir?”  Jack puts on an exaggerated expression of contemplation.  “Make it a Martian, Floyd.”  “Right away, sir.”  “That’s why you’re the best of them, Floyd, you don’t judge or nag.”  “I’ve no time for wagon-talk, Sir.”  “People could learn a lot from you, Floyd.  My bitch of a wife, for example.  You should’ve seen the hate in her eyes when I’d get home from the bar.  Used to think it was only there when I got drunk, but I know now it’s always there whenever I’m having a good time.”  “How do you know that, Sir?”  “Because she’s had it since we got here!”  Jack laughs, and Floyd smiles.  “And why does she hate for you to be happy, Sir?”  “Because of that damned pup!  That disobedient little welp’s lucky that I didn’t break both of his arms!” Floyd places Jack’s martini in front of him.  Jack takes it, smiling.  Before he can drink it, though, Floyd speaks up.  “About your son, sir, The Manager has taken a particular interest in him.”  “D-Danny? What’s he got to do with the Overlook? I’m the one The Manager should be interested in, I’m the caretaker.”  Floyd gives him a deadly serious look.  “Do you presume to know better than The Manager, Mr. Torrance?” Jack looks behind himself, and finds that the party guests and band are all now nothing more than skeletons in bloody tatters.  He turns back to Floyd, and says, “No…I guess I don’t.”  He jack hammers the martini, and the party starts again.  A new martini is already waiting for him by the time he sets his glass down.  

11:45 PM

Danny, still curled and watching Wendy, the sounds outside consist of the dog-man talking about fucking Henry in the ass until he bleeds.  Danny is crying quietly.  

11:47 PM

Jack now has several empty martini glasses before him.  “Floyd, I have got to take a piss.”  Jack gets up, his latest martini in hand, and walks through the party.  The band is playing “Midnight, The Stars, and You”.  Jack stumbles, dropping his drink.  He’s cursing himself when he looks up to find a thuggish looking waiter. The waiter offers him a drink. Despite the man’s appearance, he has a very dignified British accent.  The waiter is about to depart when Jack notices his name-tag.  “You’re Delbert Grady?”  “Yes, Sir.” “No, no, you’re not.”  “I beg you pardon, Sir?”  “Delbert Grady was the last caretaker.  He chopped his wife and two girls up with an axe before filling his skull with buckshot.”  “I do have a wife and two girls, but I’ve certainly not murdered them.  They’re sleeping in their beds right now, actually.” “I see…”  “As for this business about being the previous caretaker, I’ve never been the caretaker, sir.  I’m a waiter. You are the caretaker, Mr. Torrance. You’ve always been the caretaker.”  “Riiight.” “I did have some trouble with my wife and the girls some time ago, Sir.  They’d decided they wanted to leave the Overlook.  I explained things to them, though, reasserted myself as the man in charge and all that.  Now they love the Overlook.  Now, they call it home.  That’s what you need to do, Sir.  Reassert yourself.  Deal with Wendy’s doubt.  Rid Daniel of his disobedience.  He could be something great, Sir.  The Manager thinks as much, but you mustn’t spare the rod.”  Jack slurs in agreement.  “Enjoy the party, Mr. Torrance.”  Cut to Jack washing his face in the bathroom sink.  As he look at his wet face in the mirror, the party-goers outside chant “Unmask! Unmask!”  Jack exits the bathroom, and finds the lounge as it had been the last time he’d been there: empty.  He’s confused.  “Floyd! Grady!”  He sees that there’s still booze stocked behind the bar.  He walks over to the bar.  “Fine!  I’ll get it myself!”  He tries to slide over the bar, and ends up blacked out on the floor behind it.

         December 2nd, 1980 2:30 AM

         Dick Hallorann arrives in Colorado.  He exits the airport wearing clothes that are considerably more appropriate giving the weather condtions, and hails a cab.  He goes out to the rangers’ station. There’s only one man at the station due to the late hour.  Dick tells the man that he knows that there’s something bad going on up at the Overlook. When the man doesn’t believe him, Dick tells him to try CB-ing to prove everything is okay.  After this fails, the man says that Dick can use the station’s snowmobile, and that he can bring the Torrances to his house if there’s something bad going on up there.  Dick heads out for the Overlook, the man waving him off in the distance.

         3:00 AM

         The next has Wendy waking up to the crying, scared Danny.  She asks him what’s wrong.  “It’s Daddy! The hotel broke him, and he’s been drinking all night!  The hotel wants him to hurt us, Mommy!”  Wendy pulls her son close to him, her expression initially overwhelmed before becoming determined and protective.  Cut to Wendy leaving the room, a pocket knife slid up her sleeve. She walks to the Colorado Lounge. She calls out to Jack.  There’s a groaning noise.  She goes over to the bar, and, when she gets behind it, Jack’s struggling to get up.  He’s apologizing to her.  Wendy continues to approach him, cautiously, and Jack, moving quicker than he seemed capable of, grabs her by the ankle.  “Sorry you’re such a stupid bitch!!!”  He yanks her down to the floor, and climbs on top of her.  He punches her in the face repeatedly, busting her lip and nose.  She kicks him in the groin, and pushes him off of her while he reacts.  Using the pocket knife, she stabs him in his left thigh. Wendy scrambles to her feet, and runs off.  Jack pulls the knife out of his thigh, cursing Wendy all the while, and gets up to chase her.  As he’s running after her down the hall, he sees Floyd, whose holding a Roque mallet out of him.  Jack takes it from the phantom with a “Thank ya’, Floyd!”  Jack starts bashing the wall with the mallet.  We cut to Wendy hearing the bashing, and Jack’s declarations that she’ll take her goddamned medicine.  She runs into the kitchen, and Jack follows her.  He yells and slurs about how he knows that she’s in there. He’s walking around the kitchen, slightly splintered mallet at the ready, when Wendy pops out near where the pots and pans hang, and stabs a kitchen knife deep into his back.

3:30 AM

This scene shows Dick on the snowmobile, still on his way to the Overlook.  The building is becoming visible in the far distance, and Dick’s travelling speed is a steady one.  His headlight starts blinking on and off.  A topiary lion appears in the distance, just on the edge headlight’s range. The lion appears closer with every time that the light goes out until Dick crashes trying to swerve out of its path. His snowmobile is on its side, the lion trapped in the steady headlight beam.  Dick’s getting up out of the snow when the blinking starts again.  The lion turns, and begins to head for him.  Dick struggles, but manages to get the snowmobile upright.  He starts for the Overlook again, the sound of a beast chasing behind.

3:37 AM

Wendy is still standing in shock over stabbing her husband.  Jack slowly rises behind her, the knife handle sticking out of his back, blood staining the back of his shirt.  “You bitch! You’ve killed me!”  Wendy tries to run, but Jack hits her left side with the mallet, right in the ribs.  Wendy goes down, taking a few pots and pans with her.  Jack brings the mallet back down on her right leg.  While he’s leaned down from the swing, Wendy smashes his face with one of the pots.  While Jack’s still reeling, Wendy gets to her feet, and hurriedly limps away from him. Jack limps after her, shouting about how he’s going to bash her brains in.  While she’s running, the dog-man tackles her.  He’s got an already bloody straight razor, and starts slashing wildly at her.  During their struggle, Jack’s yelling gets steadily louder.  She throws the dog-man off of her, the costume becomes tattered and the man a skeleton during the cut to its impacting against a hall wall. Wendy barely manages to get to her feet in time to remain ahead of Jack. He’s close behind, though, and Wendy only barely makes it to their bedroom. Danny’s gone.  She screams out for him, but there’s no answer.  She stops when she hears Jack beating the door in. She runs into the bathroom, and grabs the razor blades.  Back in the room, the door starts to give.  Wendy is ready.  The now quite splintered and jagged mallet bursts through, and Jack moves to unlock the door through the hole.  “No where left to run now, you cunt!!!”  Wendy slices at his hand and arm, drawing blood.  “You bitch!”, Jack growls after pulling lack and seeing the injuries. He’s about to start again when he notices Grady.  “There is an outsider who wishes to ruin our party, Sir.”  With that, Jack lurches off to the lobby.  Wendy, meanwhile, passes out once the adrenaline stops flowing.  

3:45 AM

Dick Hallorann stumbles through the doors of the Overlook’s lobby.  Snow covered and exhausted.  He yells out for Danny and Wendy.  He’s progressing further into the hotel when Jack bashes him in the face with the Roque mallet.  Dick crumples to the floor, unconscious.  Wild eyed, Jack starts yelling for Danny, and runs off into a direction to hunt for Danny. He’s running through the nonsense halls of the Overlook when he hears Danny yell, “I’m right here!”  Jack charges after the boy, yelling all of the things from Danny’s visions.  Grady, looking as he did after killing his family with axe and all, appears in Danny’s way, but Danny banishes him with a wave of the arm and declaration, “False face!” Jack’s bashing the wall with the jagged thing that used to be a Roque mallet.  Jack chases Danny on and on, not realizing his son is leading him.  They run through the kitchen, and end up outside. They both stop their running.  The snow is falling thick, and building on them fast.  Danny turns to face Jack.  “Why are you running?”, Jack asks in a calm, dazed voice.  “I’m not running.  I’m just not scared of you.”  “That’s no way for a boy to speak to his father.  Come along, now, we’re missing the party.”  “You’re not my Father.  You’re just wearing him to your stupid masquerade party.”  Jack gives with an evil, bitter smile.  “I’m Jack Torrance, alright.  I’ve got the two birth marks and pecker to prove it!  Just ask your Mother.”  He begins moving for Danny, but is stopped cold by what Danny says next. “I know you’re not my Dad because he would’ve remembered to check on the boiler!” Jack drops the mallet, his eyes go wide, and he runs back into the hotel.  Danny closes his eyes, and we cut to the sleeping Wendy, then to Hallorann. The two of them get up, in a daze, and begin heading out of the hotel.  They meet Danny, and come out of their daze, confused.  Danny says they need to hurry, that the hotel is going to explode soon.

4:00 AM

Jack reaches the guts of the Overlook.  It’s full of steam, and the boiler is rattling. Jack puts his hands on the wheel to cool the boiler.  He looks ready to turn the wheel, but stops.  His eyes become clear for the first time since he entered the Colorado Longue.  Jack takes his hands off of the wheel, and backs away calmly despite the chaos of the situation.  Jack sits down, knees drawn to his chest, and tears begin to fall from his eyes.  He buries his face in his arms.  Cut to the outside of the Overlook.  An explosion destroys part of the building.  The fire catches to the rest of it despite the snow.  The smoke should look like a manta ray for a frame of the scene.

May 13th, 1988, 5:30 PM

A class of students are gathered on a football field, donned in blue robes and hats.  Down in the sea of blue robes, an 18-year-old Dan Torrance, wearing glasses, sits quietly.  The principal’s voice calls out for, “Daniel Anthony Torrance”.  Dan gets up, and retrieves his diploma.  After he’s returned to his seat, he looks, smiling to the bleachers.   In the bleachers where the families are seated, Wendy Torrance, hair now cut short and a cane in her hand, and Dick Hallorann, older with long-healed facial scars on the side of his face the mallet hit him, sit in the bleachers, smiling back at him.  Down in the shadows, is a sharply-dressed Jack Torrance.  Tears fall from Dan’s eyes, and he blinks them away.  After he does, his father is gone.

[t-baba]

A look at the CSS contain property

#440 — May 13, 2020

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[viscomcaitlin]

Erving Goffman's Presentation of the Self in Everyday Life is rated as one of the most important sociological texts of the twentieth century.

It fits with the trend towards symbolic interactionism in sociology, seeing social life primarily as a function of interactions between people, groups, and institutions in particular contexts, and emphasising the importance of symbols - of language, gestures, appearance - and the ways in which they shape our conceptions of the world around us and the actors in it. They're centred around a dramaturgical metaphor, conceiving of the social world as composed of a multitude of different performances by a vast number of actors, in a variety of settings. 

The theatrical elements of this concept run deep into the vocabulary he creates in order to explain the different ideas contained within it, but we have to be careful not to take it too literally - calling our social behaviours "acts" or "fronts" can make them feel "fake", and separate from the "true self" that we have in private.

[exampleblog2019jem]

EXAMPLE BLOG POST: HERO TRAILER DECONSTRUCTION

Released in 2004, Quentin Tarantino's martial arts epic Hero follows the story of an unnamed soldier in ancient China, recounting his previous battles with dangerous assassins. Tarantino's films are characterised by their unconventional cinematography, non-linear story-lines and complex themes. In Hero, Tarantino explores the use of colour in film- for both symbolism and characterisation- by creating entire kingdoms dominated by their own assigned colours. This is something which inspired us to focus more on symbolism with our own media project.

Sound

The trailer opens with the sound of dramatic war drums- signifying conflict and tension, which is contrapuntal to the tranquility of the establishing shot of mountainous landscape. This serves to foreshadow the upcoming action.

Each title card is accompanied by a 'brush' sound effect, as a black paint-stroke animation covers the red canvas background behind white text. This helps to add realism to the trailer, and to bring out the effect of the animation used.

During the 'purple room' scene, the diegetic sounds of the sword and of wood snapping demonstrates the soldier's power over his environment, and the way in which his actions and their consequences dominate the soundscape is mirrored with how he dominates the scene.

The use of a gong sound throughout the trailer at moments of significance (e.g. when the water pot is caught on the sword of the purple soldier) helps to emphasise the Asian iconography of the film, as a gong is an instrument commonly associated with Asian culture.

A narration is introduced to establish both the main character and a basic plot line, which continues throughout the majority of the trailer. Significantly, the narration cuts out at pivotal throughout the trailer, so as to emphasise the action on screen (e.g. the sword throw: 1:00). The narrator is a deep male voice, which fits the action genre of the film.

As an army fires their arrows towards the Unnamed 'Hero', the diegetic sound of the arrows flying through the air and the sudden 'bang' which accompanies the close up of the arrows serves to heighten tension and to emphasise the danger the Unnamed Hero faces.

As the massacre of the red-clothed people is shown, a high-pitched non-diegetic sound slowly begins to dominate the soundscape- getting louder and higher before abruptly cutting out as the arrows land and the red people are shown fleeing. The noise itself is extremely unnatural and disturbing, which serves to parallel the horror shown on screen. Throughout the massacre scene: faded, distorted screams are heard as part of the diegetic soundscape, both on and off screen, which both highlights the terror shown and adds to the disturbing nature of the scene.

Following this, the shots of the Unnamed Hero standing in the desert alone are accompanied by only the diegetic sound of wind, which serves to enhance the feeling of isolation which defines this character, after the massacre of his people- as the narrator highlights. This is then overpowered by the diegetic sound of a sword being unsheathed by the Unnamed Hero- symbolic of how his wish for vengeance and to fight will similarly overpower his feelings of isolation and sadness.

This is quickly followed by a harsh gong sound, and fast-pace drums. This soundscape is similar to that of the beginning of the trailer, returning to the dominate theme of war and combat within the film.

The fast pace of the non-diegetic instruments also serve to parallel the dramatic fight scenes on screen. The sword throw scene is void of non-diegetic music, focusing on only the on-screen diegetic sound of the sword itself to emphasise the significance of the scene. The sound of the sword landing in the wooden table before the Unnamed Hero echoes throughout the room, further establishing the importance of this act.

The fast-pace drums return as a montage of fight scenes begin, which parallels both the aggressive action and the nature of the editing used here.

Crashing symbols join the drums now, adding to the chaotic and war-like nature of the music, again paralleling the events on-screen. The non-diegetic music increases in pace throughout the montage, building to a seemingly inevitable climax.

However, the music begins to fade once the Unnamed Hero is seen to jump towards the seated King, sword in hand- before cutting to a close up of a sword falling in the sand. The diegetic sound of this overpowers the non-diegetic music, and the remainder of the trailer uses quiet, ominous wind chimes as its soundscape, save for the small sound effects which accompany the final title cards.

Lighting

The opening shot uses natural lighting- though the low hanging clouds serve to block the sun somewhat, therefore creating a darker lighting effect- reflective of the film's tone.

In the purple scene, the lighting is harsh and artificial, which effectively brings out the use of colour in the scene and makes it far more striking.

During the high angle shot of the purple room, it can be seen that a natural light source is lighting the right hand side of the frame, casting long shadows of the three figures in the room. This serves to highlight their significance as bold, powerful combatants- as previously established through the skilled sword work of the main purple soldier within this scene.

Throughout the trailer, mostly natural lighting is used- which helps to immerse the audience, as any overt use of a modern, artificial light source would conflict with the ancient setting.

During a close up shot on the Unnamed Hero first unsheathing his sword (0:44), the shining sword strongly reflects the natural light. This serves to emphasise the significance of this scene and highlight the power and danger of both the sword and it's owner.

Throughout some of the more aggressive fight scenes, low-key natural lighting is used to highlight the danger and tension within the scene. Often, the Unnamed Hero will be positioned with a light source behind him- so as to create a bolder outline and to establish the dauntless nature of the character.

During the montage sequence, a close up shot of a woman in red being undressed uses low key lighting- and is lit significantly darker than the rest of the trailer. This is representative of the lewd nature of the scene, and emphasises the sexual implications.

Camera Movement

During the opening scene in the purple room, a subtle shake of the camera is used as the main purple soldier stamps his foot, which establishes the power he has over the scene- which he dominates.

As this soldier flies across the room, demonstrating skilled sword work, the camera follows both him and the water pot he will catch with a variety of pans and tilts.

The camera movement during this sequence highlights the action, and the speed of the man here.

The lack of camera movement used during the arrows scene forces the audience to focus on the visuals alone, enhancing the action on scene.

The subtle pan movement used as the Unnamed Hero reaches for his sword places emphasis on the building tension here, as the action suggests conflict is oncoming.

The pan used during the massacre of the Red people serves to capture the extent of the violence- displaying the great number of arrows shot.

A reverse tracking shot is used to show the Unnamed Hero as he walks in the centre of a crowd of warriors- establishing both his power and significance both to the cause he fights for, and within the film itself.

As the Hero is shown walking up stairs behind an elderly sword-bearer, a gradual tilt is used to keep him central within the shot. A later panning shot depicting two horse-riders racing across a desert serves the same purpose.

During the many fight scenes that run throughout this trailer, zooms and 'shake' effects are often used to emphasise or sometimes mimic the action being shown on screen.

In one particularly dramatic scene, the actors on screen are frozen in action- suspended in the air, swords drawn- and the camera takes a 360 degree spin around the pair to give the audience a full view of their strong positions whilst also emphasising the importance of their fight.

Camera Angles and Framing

During the opening scene featuring the 'purple' themed room, the camera is positioned at eye level, meaning that the man stood atop the table in the centre of the room is slightly elevated from audience's perspective- perhaps symbolic of his power, which he goes on to demonstrate with his sword later in the scene.

Once the action begins, extreme close up shots are used to show the audience key details which would otherwise be missed in a wider shot, due to the fast-paced nature of the action on-screen.

Once the main character's face is revealed- an eye-level close up is used to identify him as a key character, forcing the audience to focus on him.

The following sequence depicts the Hero being shot at by many hundreds of archers, and a wide shot of him with his back to the camera, arrows flying towards him, serves to establish him as a 'hero' character, as he is effectively shielding the audience from the oncoming arrows.

Another similar scene is used later in the trailer, though it is now a colony of people in red clothing being attacked. A high angle wide shot gives the audience complete view of the destruction and panic, while the high angle elevates the audience from these people- symbolising that they cannot be helped or saved.

Throughout the trailer, close-up and extreme close-up shots are used to emphasise the importance of certain characters or items to the audience. For example, close-up shots of swords, arrows and other weaponry are used to emphasise the theme of war to the audience and to effectively convey the plot without relying too heavily on dialogue or text.

Quentin Tarantino's films are often labelled as 'art house' or 'experimental'- due to his focus on aesthetics and styling within his films. 'Hero' is a clear example of this- and extreme long shots and a variety of angles are used to effectively capture the beauty of the film, and to emphasise it's aesthetic value.

Mise en Scene and Colour Symbolism

Throughout the trailer, mise en scene is key to conveying plot and character- and Tarantino relies on visual aids as well as narration and dialogue in order to capture the audience's attention.

One of the most dominant themes which run throughout this film is war- and Tarantino uses mise en scene to ensure that this is conveyed in the trailer.

Throughout the trailer, many of the shots focus on weaponry and combat. During one of the first shots of the 'Hero' character- he is shown reaching for his sheathed sword- and the clip is cut before he is able to grip the handle of his blade. This creates tension, as the audience anticipate the reveal of the Hero's martial skill, preparing them for the fast-paced, violent montage later on in the trailer.

The sheer number of arrows fired during each of the attacks featured within the trailer serve to convey the scope of the war the film centralises on, and effectively emphasises the danger which the protagonist faces (perpetuated by the long shot of the Hero with his back to the camera- shielding it from thousands of oncoming arrows).

An extreme close up shot of a sword being unsheathed- glinting in the sunlight- effectively symbolises the intense power of the protagonist and, once again, reinforces the theme of war and violence within the film.

As the film is classified as a 'martial arts epic', many of the mise en scene choices were made to reflect this- taking inspiration from Chinese culture. For example, many of the costumes reflect the clothing of ancient China- the protagonist's military uniform and the long gowns worn by many of the female characters serving as clear examples.

The set design also further serves to clarify the film's setting- as many of the sets, for example the small village pictured in the background of the protagonist's dramatic slow-motion fight, are also obviously heavily inspired by features of ancient Asian architecture- which would be immediately recognisable to the audience.

Perhaps the most integral element of mise en scene within the trailer is the keen focus on colour and colour symbolism throughout.

Tarantino uses colour in order to separate the different communities within the film from one another- and to give the audience hints as to which characters are allied with each other, based on the colours that they are wearing.

The use of colour within this trailer also serves to convey plot points related to the protagonist's character- as his black clothing (black being an absence of colour) suggests he is an outsider to the world portrayed in the trailer- and the many shots of him alone, surrounded by negative shots in long or wide shots, serve to emphasise this sense of isolation to his character.

Colour symbolism is also used to mirror the action on-screen. In a close up shot of a fight between a woman and an unseen man- a sword is being held to the woman's throat, and her face shows intense fear. Arguably, her white clothing serves to emphasise her vulnerability in this scene, as white is a recognised symbol of innocence and purity.

Similarly, a high angle close up of a woman laughing, being stripped of her red clothing by someone unseen above her also uses colour symbolism to mirror the action on-screen. The use of the red colouring in this shot- both in her clothing and in the patterned material she is lying on- emphasises the sexual implications of the scene- as red is commonly associated with love and lust.

Colour is a key and striking element of the film- and so it is integral for Tarantino to display his use of it within the trailer- displaying his film's unique qualities to his audience.

Editing

Editing is another key element of the trailer- as not only does it serve to convey the professional and unique quality of the film itself, but helps to fulfil audience expectations for trailers- as the montage sequence at the end of the trailer and manipulation of speed and pace throughout build excitement and capture the audience's attention- as a trailer is intended to.

At the opening of the trailer, the 'purple' scene displays an effective use of editing- as the shots of the purple warrior approaching the centre of the room and preparing the cup for his sword trick are slowed significantly- building anticipation for the oncoming display of martial skill.

The following sequence is sped up dramatically- emphasising the speed with with the warrior can perform this impressive sword trick, preparing the audience for the intense action scenes that dominate both the trailer and the film.

The trailer follows this same technique- slowing down shots prior to a fast-pace action scene- often including several jump-cuts in order to mirror the chaotic and intense nature of the fight on screen.

The montage sequence at the end of the trailer serves to give the audience a brief overview of the film- including some of the most aesthetically pleasing and plot relevant shots in order to entice the audience to see the film without spoiling any key plot points.

This conforms to the conventions of a teaser trailer.

At several points throughout the trailer, 'fade' transitions are also used between shots in order to help to slow the pace. These transitions are most often used in the trailer following intense, fast-paced action scenes, creating a striking contrast between the two.

Conventions of a trailer

Despite being an experimental film, the teaser trailer for 'Hero' conforms to the majority of conventions expected of it.

Firstly, the use of narration is a common trope of trailers- used to convey key plot details and to provide a brief synopsis of the film in order to entice the audience. Narrators are often either the film's protagonist or a voice actor (typically a deep-voiced male) used solely for the trailer, and does not play an actual role in the film.

Tarantino uses the latter in this trailer, perhaps due to the fact that his protagonist is specifically unnamed and mysterious- and using his voice for the narration may negatively affect this characterisation.

Also, the deep, male voice arguably sets a serious tone for the film, and fits the typically 'masculine' theme of war which is dominant in the film.

As well as narration, title cards with relevant plot points are displayed throughout the trailer in order to support the synopsis provided by the narrator- another common trope of trailers.

The trailer also includes title cards with Tarantino's name, the original director's name, the starring actor's name and, at the end of the trailer, the film's title.

The typography used on each of these title cards is consistent and reflects the Chinese influence.

In addition to this, the trailer also conforms to conventions in regards to Todorov's narrative theory- in that it presents it's audience with a clear and traditional narrative.

Todorov's theory suggests that every narrative begins with a sense of 'equilibrium'- which is then disturbed by some conflict. The conflict is recognised, challenged, and then resolved.

Trailers typically show their audiences the initial equilibrium, giving them an idea of the world being portrayed in the film, then explains to them the conflict- perhaps showing their protagonists recognising or challenging this conflict, but not resolving it- as this would essentially spoil the film.

In this regard, it could be argued that the 'Hero' trailer once again follows conventions, as it effectively immerses the audience in the ancient Chinese setting and gives them an understanding of the separate colour-based colonies before presenting them with the war and conflict which dominates the film- explained by the narrator.

The nameless Hero is then shown challenging this conflict, and no resolution is given to the audience past this- effectively enticing them without spoiling the film.

[tardisgirlepic]

Ch. 1: “Extremis” Analysis Doctor Who S10.6: Don’t Trust the Text: Double Fake Out

Don’t Trust Anything You See – Massive Double Fake Out

In the very first chapter of Fairytales and Romance in Doctor Who, I gave the advice not to trust anything you see in DW.  I’m going to repeat that caveat again here.  What you think you see is not necessarily true. There is so much more going on in “Extremis” than the text suggests.

From the very start of the episode, the subtext says don’t trust everything we are seeing.  With Missy and the Vault, there is an inverse reflection of the sun on the water (red arrow), shown below, so things are upside-down from how they look.  And things are distorted because of the distorted reflection, which is also disjointed. This suggests there may be a lot more time involved in the whole Vault thing than what it appears.  In fact, to contribute to this disjoint nature, the scenes with Missy were dispersed throughout the episode.

We never see Missy going into the Vault.  How do the Doctor and Nardole even get the Vault, which is in the middle of the lake, to the university building?  Please note that I do believe she is in there, but the subtext suggests it’s not that simple.  Also, there are huge gaps of time here.  Over many years, I’ve come to trust the subtext over what we think we see.

Did you find it odd that Nardole feeds the Doctor lines like an actor or like someone who has forgotten what they stand for?  River is one of the architects of this rescue plan, so Nardole doing River’s bidding isn’t surprising.  Besides, Nardole is also a mirror of the Doctor.  Interestingly, the Doctor is being programmed here.  My question is: what does it mean about the realness of this Doctor?  

This type of situation in the subtext comes up a lot.  In these cases, I assume that the main events happened at some point, however, not quite the way they appear.  I trust the subtext.

Don’t trust the computer simulation part, either, unless you are reading the subtext.  I’ll get to that in a few minutes, but lets look at “The Next Doctor” first to see how it informs us.

 Massive Double Fake Out Foreshadowed in “The Next Doctor”

In “Extremis,” we’ve been led to believe in the text that the part with Missy is real while the rest of the episode is part of a computer simulation.  But the subtext suggests that things aren’t the way they seem throughout the episode.  Don’t trust anything you think you see.

The 10th Doctor episode “The Next Doctor,” which I highly trust, says there is a massive double fake out going on with the 12th Doctor.  I’ve been wondering for years how this would play out, so this is really exciting for me.

In the 10th Doctor story “The Next Doctor,” Jackson Lake believes he actually is the Doctor.  Therefore, at the beginning, we along with the 10th Doctor are led to believe Lake is, as the 10th Doctor states, “The next Doctor.  Or the next-but-one.  A future Doctor anyway.”

Missing Memories

However, Lake has memories missing, like the 12th Doctor, although Lake’s memory loss is much more extensive.  And like the 12th Doctor in Season 8, Lake is searching for whom he really is. He also doesn’t remember his wife, which is similar to the 12th Doctor not remembering Clara, his alchemical wife.  Additionally, Lake doesn’t remember he has a son until the end.  His young son is a slave, helping to power the CyberKing warship.

Lake starts getting his memories back when the clock strikes 12.

Sonic Screwdriver

Because Lake runs around and acts like the Doctor, he certainly seems like it until Lake and the Doctor go to break into the dead reverend’s house.  The Doctor notices the tool Lake is calling a sonic screwdriver, which is our first clue that something is wrong.

DOCTOR: Oh, front door. I'm good at doors. Er, do you mind my asking, is that your sonic screwdriver? NEXT DOCTOR: Yes. I'd be lost without it. (It's an ordinary screwdriver.) DOCTOR: But that's a screwdriver. How's it sonic? NEXT DOCTOR: Well, er, it makes a noise.

(He taps it against the doorframe.)

NEXT DOCTOR: That's sonic, isn't it?

I squeed in delight when the reference to “The Next Doctor” came up in “Thin Ice.”  Spider had already stolen the 12th Doctor’s screwdriver.

DOCTOR: What happened to the girl? BILL: Does it matter? The boy's the one with your magic wand. DOCTOR: Sonic screwdriver. BILL: How is that a screwdriver? DOCTOR: In a very broad sense. BILL: All right, how's it sonic? DOCTOR: It makes a noise.

So DW is showing us once again, but from the 12th Doctor episode, that the Doctor is mirroring Jackson Lake.

Anyway, Lake, not knowing he is Lake, says this whole thing started with Jackson Lake’s death.  He was a teacher who came to London 3 weeks prior and died a terrible death.  However, his body was never found.  Then, there were a string of murders and children abducted.  Lake’s death seems to bring on terrible consequences, or at least it’s the beginning of it.

Fob Watch

The 10th Doctor notices that Lake is wearing a fob watch, shown below.  The Doctor opens it, but it falls apart.  Therefore, it looks like Lake is not the Doctor.

However, here’s the problem. The subtext says the watch is more than it seems.  If you listen carefully before the Doctor opens the watch, there are whispering voices.

I trust the subtext.

The presence of the voices suggests that there is a very powerful perception filter on the watch, and Lake’s Time Lord consciousness is inside.  We’ve seen perception filters used to create the illusion of a whole second floor of a building.  I’m assuming the 12th Doctor has Merlin skills, which create very strong perception filters.  Therefore, it’s possible that the perception filter makes it look like the watch falls apart (which is odd) when opened by the wrong person at the wrong time, even the 10th Doctor. 

Over the episode, Lake and the Doctor both come to believe he is not the real Doctor.

Roman Cross

Jackson Lake, shown below, is associated with the Roman cross, a symbol of the 12th Doctor. However, the 10th Doctor in the scene is also associated with the cross, so he is also playing the 12th Doctor.  This is just like “Extremis,” where we have one 12th Doctor who looks real and another 12th Doctor who, at the end, doesn’t.

 Clara, River, Lake & Missy

Jackson Lake’s last name is special because it’s a water term and suggests that he is related to River and Amy Pond.  In “Deep Breath,” Vastra associates Clara with the lake, so Jackson Lake is related to Clara, too.

VASTRA: Well, goodness me. The lake is ruffled at last. I often wondered what you'd be like when you lost your temper.

From the Merlin legend, which we examined in Chapter 10 of Fairytales and Romance in Doctor Who, both Clara and River are associated with the Ladies of the Lake.  River came out of Lake Silencio and killed the Doctor, and by Clara’s association with him, he gets trapped in the beautiful tower of the legend (confession dial castle) and dies over and over.

Since Missy was using Clara as a proxy, I see Missy as a sort of Lady of the Lake, too.  (In the same way, I also see her as a remote stellar manipulator, which refers to the Hand of Omega.)  Therefore, it’s really interesting that “Extremis” somewhat connected Missy to a lake by putting the Vault in the middle of a lake.

Mercy, Missy, the 12th Doctor & Rosita

Mercy, a possessed character, who seems very much like Missy, is shown below.  She is a dark mirror of the 12th Doctor because of the Roman cross (red arrow).  (She walks past other crosses during this scene.)  Anyway, like Missy, she seems like an evil Mary Poppins with the umbrella, although without Missy’s charm.

 Also, like Missy, she is in a graveyard and commands Cybermen, so this certainly also ties in the 12th Doctor and Danny Pink.

Later in the episode, she is the pilot of this colossal CyberKing vehicle (white arrow), which is rising above the wall near where Rosita (red arrow), Lake’s companion, is standing. Rosita is a transitional companion, who is more proof that there is more to Lake than it seems.  Rosita is a Spanish diminutive of Rose, so Rosita is a mirror to Rose.  Not only that, Rosita has no qualms about putting Lake and the Doctor in their place, like River, Donna, Bill, and Nardole.  Interestingly, all 4 of these characters have connections to the 12th Doctor or Caecilius.

Mercy (yellow arrow), along with several Cybermen, are in the mouth of the colossal beast.  That she’s possessed isn’t clear until the end when she figuratively wakes up, looks around, and screams.

This CyberKing vehicle, which has red eyes, is a close mirror of one from “Hell Bent,” with the Doctor (yellow arrow) being the one, along with the general, who is in the nose/mouth of what looks somewhat similar to a CyberKing-like ship (the Gallifreyan Capitol).  The 2 white arrows point to eye-like areas.  In fact, they are djinni circles, which suggests that they may be connected to the Eye of Harmony.  That’s not surprising given that the symbolism here represents the CyberKing ship from “The Next Doctor.”   And the Doctor is the pilot, the Star Whale.

Lake & His Son Are Still Prisoners at the End

Near the end, Lake, shown below, carries his son (red arrow) through the fiery area with the Doctor (white arrow) close behind.  Check out the chain (blue arrow).  All 3 of them are prisoners, and it has nothing to do with being in the building. This situation extends beyond this episode.  However, Lake thinks he isn’t the Doctor when the subtext says he is.  How does this stack up to “Extremis”?  Keep reading.

Based on Lake not remembering his son until the end, this suggests the 12th Doctor doesn’t remember his own child or some other relative besides Clara.  That’s not surprising since “Time Heist” tells us that to protect people he loves, he’s forgotten who some of his family members are. Likewise for them.

Lake suffered a fugue state, now called dissociative fugue, when he saw his wife murdered.  Some of the symptoms could describe the 12th Doctor.

Wikipedia says

Dissociative fugue, formerly fugue state or psychogenic fugue, is a dissociative disorder.[1] It is a rare psychiatric disorder characterized by reversible amnesia for personal identity, including the memories, personality, and other identifying characteristics of individuality. The state is usually short-lived (ranging from hours to days), but can last months or longer. Dissociative fugue usually involves unplanned travel or wandering, and is sometimes accompanied by the establishment of a new identity.

The 12th Doctor was having a lot of trouble understanding whom he was after regenerating. Can a dissociative fugue explain why the Doctor is choosing different aliases?  Perhaps.  It could also be that he’s been duplicated and looks like a schizoid man.

The Computer Simulation Doesn’t Add Up, Either

Oddities in “Extremis” don’t stop with Missy’s part, so don’t trust what you see.  If anything, just as in Jackson Lake’s case, things get weirder between the text and the subtext in the computer simulation.  For example, some things are literally upside down. Also, the Doctor is not totally correct about random numbers.  Additionally, if he were only a simulation, I would not expect some of the symbols in the episode to show up in the simulation.  Finally, there are oddities with the Veritas and Vault, which I’ll talk about in the next chapter.

Upside-down Stairs in the Library Metaphor

We’re back to the Library metaphor just like the subtext said we had to be, and we’re in Rome too, which the subtext also said would happen.  If you missed this explanation, it’s in Chapter 10 of Fairytales and Romance in Doctor Who.  I suggest, however, you start at the chapter before, which is the start of my pre-airing analysis of the clips from “The Return of Doctor Mysterio.”

Check out this image below where the stairs (red arrow) in the Library are upside down.  Notice, too, the Doctor is standing in the middle of the center circle while no one else is.  He is seriously trapped inside several containment circles, all within a djinni circle.  Bill, Nardole, and the Cardinal are also trapped.  I would not expect this if everyone is really a simulant.

Upside-down stairs do tell us something is wrong.  This seems like the 11th Doctor’s first 2 Weeping Angels episodes, “The Time of Angels” and “Flesh and Stone,” where they jumped impossibly high up and impossibly ended up on the ceiling, which was upside down from where they initially were. Obviously, no one jumps in “Extremis,” but the upside-down symbolism is there. 

Why would the Monks program upside-down stairs in a simulation?  It seems a very strange thing and a waste of time for the Monks to do, when there are so many more important things to program in order to run this type of simulation.  The Cardinal said the Library was designed to confuse the uninitiated, but upside-down stairs aren’t confusing to me.

I would never waste my time programming such a thing.  Unless it’s code, which is how I’m taking it. 

The Doctor, being aware of his existence, is sentient, no matter if he was real or not to start out.

If I were him, I would make stealth clones of myself to have more Doctors working on the problem. Then, I would find a way to leave myself clues of what is happening by changing the programming of the simulation.  This is similar to the Vardies.  They became sentient and changed the initial conditions of the programming. 

The upside-down stairs, therefore, could be clues the Doctor is leaving to tell him things are opposite to how they appear.  If that’s not the case, the stairs are at least clues for us.

Here’s one more thought about this.  If Donna, for example, can become part of the computer environment in the Library and then become reactualized at the end, the Doctor, as a sentient mind, assuming he wasn’t real to start out, might be able to become actualized, too.  On the other hand, he could very well be real to start with.

Random Numbers in Computers

The Doctor talks to Bill about computer-generated random numbers in “Extremis.”

DOCTOR: Computers aren't good with random numbers. If you ask a computer simulated person to generate a random string of numbers, it won't truly be random. And if all the simulated people are part of the same computer programme, then they'll all generate the same string. The exact same numbers.

The Doctor is correct that computers aren’t good with truly random numbers, unless there is a good external stimulus used for the computer to key numbers off of.  However, unless it’s a really poor simulation, he is wrong about all the computer-generated people generating the same string of numbers.  Moffat gave us the answer to the poor simulation possibility.  The Doctor already said the Monk’s simulation was too good. Therefore, the Doctor is definitely wrong, which begs the question of why? 

Please don’t assume it’s poor writing on Steven Moffat’s part.  In order to be able to read the subtext, we should never assume things that look like mistakes are poor writing.  Typically, things that are wrong are clues.  It’s up to us to ask why they are wrong.

Anyway, if I were to program a simulation similar to what the Doctor is talking about, each simulated person would call a subroutine to generate their own random number. Therefore, it would be unlikely, given good initial parameters, that a small group of people, like we saw at CERN, would produce any like numbers between 2 people, let alone the whole group.

However, there are other ways characters could arrive at the same string of numbers.  For example, say the Doctor is like CAL, where his living mind has been uploaded to the computer.  Let’s say people like Bill have had their minds uploaded, too.  Or we could make duplicates of Bill and the others, so they actually are simulants.  Either way, to make the Doctor and everyone think they are simulated, all we have to do is to change people’s digitized memories from within the program to use the same random number.  Then, we tell them if they all come up with the same number, they are simulated.

The effect is the same as what the Doctor said.  However, the intent is different.  In this latter case, the Doctor would be real, but the Monks want him to have an identity crisis, making him think he isn’t.  It’s duplication and identity theft, like what was done to Prisoner 6 in The Prisoner.

The Doctor’s memories being affected has already happened in the subtext back in Season 9 in “The Girl Who Died,” which is a reference to the 4th Doctor episode “The Deadly Assassin.”  I’ll get to this in a few minutes because this Classic Who episode seems to be driving so much of what we are seeing and have been seeing for some time.

BTW, if we can’t change memories through computer programming, we can get Doctor Moon from the Library to brainwash people to use the same numbers.  It’s just a different type of programming.

Bill & the Oval Office

Bill enters a door leading to the Oval Office of the President of the United States.  She is associated with a painting of a reflection of a river, so she becomes River’s reflection.

Then, she sees the dead president, and we see her reflection in the light switch plate (yellow arrow).  Therefore, we know there is another face of Bill.  Later we see that this face of Bill is not real.

Her mind could be real, though.  Let’s say she is CAL, who saw herself as having the body from her memories.  We know, however, that she is a mind of pure consciousness.  We could program her body to disappear like Bill’s, even though her living mind still exists.  Doctor Moon could do that.

Normally, I wouldn’t overthink this, like I am.  However, I want to show you that different ways exist to explain what is happening and have people be real.

Everything we see could be happening in a computer, like the Matrix, with living minds.  In fact, there is quite a bit of subtext to support this.  Certainly, CAL from the Library is one example, but there are plenty of others.

This is Inception.  If you haven’t seen the movie, I highly suggest you do.  In DW, we’ve seen dreams within dreams.  We could also be running nested simulations.  The possibilities are endless, really.  We’re back to the case of never really knowing if we are in a dream or simulation or reality.

The Horse, the Man & the Architect

Behind the Doctor in the President’s Oval Office, there is a statue (red arrow) of a rebelling horse and a man standing on the ground.  The Doctor is both the rebelling horse (the Architect) and the man from the poem in “The Beast Below.”  This is all part of the rescue plan.  

When we apply the concepts of the Architect and “Time Heist” to this situation, the Doctor here probably does not remember why he is really here because he had a memory wipe, like what happened in “Time Heist” to wipe away any guilt of robbing the bank.  The Teller could sense guilt. 

Since the Doctor is both man and horse here, I have a hard time believing he is not real.

Is this Doctor really alive but brainwashed into believing he is not?  This certainly goes along with what “The Next Doctor” subtext is saying. We don’t have any hard proof that says the Doctor is not real.  Likewise, we don’t have any hard proof that Missy’s Doctor is real. 

Another possibility, which has support, is that the Doctor is a simulated version that has become sentient.  Gaining sentience certainly has come up many times in the subtext for years.  In the latest reference, we saw this happen in “Smile” with the Emojibots and Vardy.  In my analysis on “Smile” we saw the Doctor mirroring an Emojibot, and we also saw Rory mirroring the sentient Rorybot, as an example I gave from “The Girl Who Waited.”

The Eagle Comes to Abduct Ganymede

In my analysis of “Oxygen,” we looked at the Greek myth of Ganymede and the eagle.  Here’s the payoff of that.  In the President’s Oval Office, there is an eagle with outstretched talons ready to grasp something.  It’s not surprising then that the Doctor places his arm next to the bird in such a way as to make it look like the eagle is grasping him (red arrow), shown below. The Doctor is Ganymede being abducted by the eagle.  This is a carefully crafted camera shot, where the Doctor never crosses in front of the bird or the frame of the painting, which just so happens to be a reflection of a river (yellow arrow).

Once again, this subtext makes it really hard for me to believe that this Doctor isn’t real.  Why have this as subtext if what the Monk said was true?  Well, it could pertain to the “realest” Doctor, whoever that is.  However, I’m applying it here, especially because this is similar to what happened in “The Next Doctor.”

In the image below, the Monk, on the other hand, represents both River’s reflection (yellow arrow) and the eagle (red arrow).  Since the Monk is associated with River’s reflection, just like Bill, the Monks are more than they seem.  Keep in mind the Doctor is in a war with himself.  How does the Doctor defeat himself?

Anyway, we are back to the Monks abducting the Doctor, which should not be surprising, if you’ve been following my analyses from the beginning.  It’s what we examined back in Chapter 14 of Fairytales and Romance in Doctor Who from “Tooth and Claw.”  The subtext in that episode shows that the Doctor is the Scottish boy abducted by monks. 

There’s also Melody Pond’s abduction by the Headless Monks.  It’s a theme.  In fact, being in the Oval Office is a reference back to the 11th Doctor episode “The Impossible Astronaut,” where we saw President Nixon and heard a little girl calling for help.  Later, we saw the little abducted girl in the astronaut’s suit.  The little girl, however, is not who we thought she was. I started alluding to that back in Chapter 13 of Fairytales and Romance in Doctor Who.  The little girl represented The Ghost and the 3 hidden faces of the Doctor.

Interestingly, in “The Next Doctor,” there is a bird that looks like the same eagle, which has outstretched talons like the one above.  This angle admittedly makes it difficult to see the whole bird.  I invite you to check out the video of the episode, as the eagle shows up several times, along with a second bird, which also looks like an eagle. Anyway, the image below shows a skewed camera angle, so we know things aren’t the way they seem.  The eagle appears to either be grasping at the books, which are metaphors for River, or it’s grasping for Jackson Lake.  I could make a case for either one.

One interesting thing about this scene is that Lake talks about children being abducted just before we see this image.

The Eagle & the President

There is a symbol of an eagle in the middle of the carpet (red arrow), shown below.  This is a metaphor for the president.  The Doctor (green arrow) is sitting in the president’s chair, making him a mirror of the president.  However, the president (yellow arrow) took his life.

Before we see all this, Bill sees the news about a White House blackout where the president hasn’t been seen for at least 12 hours.  This is a reference to the 12th Doctor, or at least one of his faces, who took his/her life.  This explains a weirdness I saw earlier, which I’ll explain in a few minutes.

The Monks said they killed the Doctor over and over, so the president’s death represents one way they’ve done it.  The Doctor has been suicidal, at times, which may well be part of the plan here by the Monks.  Make the Doctor take his own life, so he doesn’t regenerate.

The Doctor is also associated with the eagle via the flag behind him (red arrow).  He is both Ganymede and the eagle because he is the abducted child who escaped, as well as the Architect who is coming back to fix things.

2 Crosses & 2 Doctors

Regarding the president taking his life, I mentioned something weird came up.  The weirdness came up earlier in the episode when the Doctor sat in the chair in the Veritas’ cage.  There are 2 crosses at the top of the chair (red arrows), shown below. This was very surprising, as I expected to see 3, one for each face of the Doctor.  The President’s death could explain why there are only 2 crosses.  

Additionally, the 2 crosses matches the 2 images (red and yellow arrows) we see below once this Doctor sends an email to the other Doctor.

The 2 crosses and these 2 images above also make it difficult for me to believe that this Doctor is not real.

Hypothesis

Right now, my hypothesis is that this Doctor in the simulation is a real living mind being put through a very elaborate fake out designed to break his spirit, very similar to what we examined in my analysis on “Knock Knock” with Prisoner 6 from The Prisoner series.

What could be better for people trying to conquer Earth (also a metaphor for the Doctor) than to confuse the Doctor with what is truly real and what is fake?  Especially when he has become more vulnerable with his blindness.

I won’t be surprised if most everything is happening within the computer.  Just envision the Doctor being CAL.  This is how I’ve been picturing this playing out for years.  All along, he’s been having problems understanding what is real and what is not, and we’ve seen that through the Great Work.  Since he is mostly conscious now, he is aware of the dilemma.  However, there is still mind control going on.

 The Prisoner, Mind Control & the POP Directive

At the end of “Extremis,” the Doctor emails himself a message from within the computer simulation, which has a possible link to “Pop Goes the Weasel.”

In my analysis on “Knock Knock,” we looked at one of the meanings of “Pop Goes the Weasel,” which was played at the end of the episode from the Vault.  POP was the directive to protect other people in the iconic British TV series The Prisoner.  The Doctor’s emailed message, shown below, basically is the POP message: “Save Them.”  

The Prisoner is absolutely being referenced in Season 10. Mind control, brainwashing, mistaken identity/identity theft, and other psychological methods are used to try to break Prisoner 6, like what is happening to the Doctor.  We may get some of our answers to whom is doing this by looking at a Classic Who episode, which has the Master framing the Doctor for murder and trapping him in the Matrix in a fight for his life.

 The Doctor Is So in Trouble: “The Deadly Assassin”

In the 12th Doctor episodes, the 4th Doctor episode “The Deadly Assassin” is heavily referenced.  In fact, this classic episode is where the Master uses the word “extremis.” 

We’ve already examined numerous references to the Eye of Harmony, which first shows up in “The Deadly Assassin.”  However, there are other very important allusions to look at, which, in part, explain what we are seeing and have been seeing for some time.  The Doctor is so in trouble with Missy, especially with his blindness.

What Referencing the Doctor’s Prydonian Birthright Means

In this Classic Who episode, the Doctor receives a premonition that the president of Gallifrey will be assassinated.  And, to his horror, he will be the assassin.  He tries to stop it back on Gallifrey by leaving a note with the Prydonian Seal (red arrow), shown below.

HILDRED: I found this in the capsule. (Spandrell takes the Doctor's note and reads it.) SPANDRELL: To the Castellan of the Chancery Guard. I've good reason to think the life of His Supremacy the President is in grave danger. Do not ignore this warning. The Doctor. And he signed it over the Prydonian Seal. ENGIN: Apparently he is or was at one time a member of that noble Chapter. 

A few seconds later, Spandrell gives us some important information.

SPANDRELL: He's a Prydonian renegade, sir, and as you know, when a Prydonian forswears his birthright, there is nothing else he fears to lose.

In “Extremis,” the 12th Doctor says

DOCTOR: On my oath as a Time Lord of the Prydonian Chapter, I will guard this body for a thousand years.

So both the 4th and 12th Doctors have nothing left that they fear to lose. That’s not surprising given both Doctors’ situations.  The 4th Doctor will end up being executed if he can’t clear himself.  With the 12th Doctor, we saw a never-seen-before side of him at the end of “The Return of Doctor Mysterio.”  He is really suffering from River’s death, and the subtext also suggests he’s suffering from his missing memories of Clara.

The Doctor’s oath was very serious, and he broke it.  Uh…oh.  The consequences can’t be good, but whom does he answer to?

However, we know the rescue plan required him to break his oath.   He made multiple promises, according to “The Pilot,” so what about those?

How did the 12th Doctor get into this mess with executing Missy?  What all did Missy do because 1000 years is a long time?  How did the executioners convince the Doctor to become involved in this?  Who’s watching the watcher of the Vault?

Premonition Means the Master Corrupted the Matrix

A premonition shows up in dialogue in “The Girl Who Died,” when the Doctor first sees Ashildr.

CLARA: Okay, so, why are you staring? DOCTOR: I don't know. Nothing, probably. Too much time travel, it happens. CLARA: What happens? DOCTOR: People talk about premonition as if it's something strange. It's not. It's just remembering in the wrong direction.

This obviously is a reference back to “The Deadly Assassin,” meant to tell us Missy is probably fiddling with “reality.” 

Anyway, regarding the 4th Doctor, his note doesn’t help.  The Master frames him, making it look like the Doctor commits murder. Then, a Time Lord tortures the Doctor, trying to get him to talk.  Spandrell stops the torture, and the Doctor talks to him.

DOCTOR [on screen]: Well, this is the bit you won't believe. People talk of a premonition of tragedy, but I actually saw it happening. I saw the President die as vividly, as clearly as I can see this room now.

I find the next part very interesting.

ENGIN: Precognitive vision is impossible.

I’ve found this statement very odd given all that we’ve seen in nuWho.  How then is the Doctor able to look backward and forward in time? Unless, that is, the Master or Missy is using the Matrix or something similar to mess with the Doctor’s mind. This sounds like the Matrix has been corrupted.

Another possibility is that we are in the Dark Times when the old rules applied, we’ve seen several Dark Time monsters, like the spidery creature the Empress of the Racnoss. There is certainly circumstantial evidence for this being that time period.  This is a topic for a future chapter.

“The Most Dangerous Game” & the Battle in the Matrix

The Matrix, according to “The Deadly Assassin” episode, normally contains the minds of deceased Time Lords, which actually is what we saw with the Cloister Wraiths in “Hell Bent.”

However, living minds can get uploaded.  It is clear to the 4th Doctor that a living mind is in the Matrix.  In this episode, we find out what the Matrix is

SPANDRELL: What is the Master like on mathematics? DOCTOR: He's brilliant, absolutely brilliant. He's almost up to my standard. What's that? ENGIN: The APC control. DOCTOR: APC? ENGIN: Amplified Panatropic Computations. DOCTOR: Brain cells. ENGIN: Yes. Trillions of electrochemical cells in a continuous matrix. The cells are the repository of departed Time Lords. At the moment of death, an electrical scan is made of the brain pattern and these millions of impulses are immediately transferred to the DOCTOR: Shush. I understand the theory. What's the function? ENGIN: Well, to monitor life in the Capitol. We use all this combined knowledge and experience to predict future developments.

The big “C” room of brains in TRODM certainly sounds to me like a visual representation of this dialogue above.  And this is one reason why I have believed that the Eye of Harmony is used to make predictions.

The Time Lords keep something called biog data (a.k.a, bio data) on each living Time Lord.  However, the Master deleted his.

The TARDIS Wikia says:

Spandrell and Engin cannot comprehend why there is no bio data extract for the Master in the APC Net (aka the Matrix). This is a network of past and present Time Lord minds that acts as an enormous database and future forecaster. The Doctor decides there must be an unauthorised second access point into the Matrix. The Master used this to forecast the assassination into his mind and then wipe all trace from the Matrix. He reasons that either the Master or the assassin working with him must be inside the Matrix. Despite the stern warning from Engin, he interfaces with the Matrix to find him.

This technique of forecasting could easily be used in the Test of Shadows.  Just project a string of numbers that everyone then repeats for the test.  Sadly, if this is true, living people could be taking their own lives.

Here’s the 4th Doctor below (red arrow) interfacing with the Matrix through electrodes on his temples.  The 12th Doctor could easily be interfaced to a machine like this.

What ensues with the 4th Doctor is reminiscent of the short story by Richard Connell “The Most Dangerous Game.” If you haven’t read it, it’s a great short story.  The Master’s proxy in the Matrix hunts the Doctor as prey.  The whole scenario looks real, including the Doctor’s blood.

The Doctor gets a leg wound and says that he rejects the reality.  While the wound and blood disappear, they return right away because the Master has control of the Matrix and inserts his own reality.  As the Doctor says, he is experiencing illusions and dreams.

Outside the Matrix, the Doctor is in trouble because of the various wounds he gets, along with the hand-to-hand battle he has with the Master’s proxy in the Matrix, who is the chancellor. The Doctor narrowly escapes really dying.  Then, outside the Matrix, the Master tries to kill him and destroy Gallifrey.

While in the Matrix, the Doctor’s body isn’t real, even though we see him as such.  It all happens in virtual reality.  If the Master wanted to, he could have the Doctor’s body disappear or someone like Bill disappear, yet Bill could still be outside of the Matrix hooked up to the machine, just like the Doctor is.

Is that what happened to Bill in the simulation?  Or is Bill really a shadow character?

 The Allegory of the Cave: Reality vs. Shadows

Sadly, I had written this section months before Season 10 started, but I never posted it because it’s from my unfinished chapter on the Library Metaphor.  So here’s a small part of my Library chapter.

What’s happening with CAL and the Doctor can be partially explained through the Allegory of the Cave. Plato wrote about this allegory of reality vs. the shadow world of the cave in his work the Republic.

In it, a group of people have been chained to the wall of a cave all of their lives, only allowed to look at a blank wall.  The hidden jailers project shadows of real objects on the wall.  The prisoners, knowing nothing else, believe the shadows to be real, so they live their lives mind controlled in a world of illusion.  They know nothing of what actually is causing the shadows. 

Plato likens philosophers to the prisoners who gain their freedom and walk into the sunlight.  They come to understand that the shadows on the wall are not reality at all.

Like the cave prisoners, CAL and the Doctor have been mind-controlled prisoners. Doctor Moon and the Dream Lord (or someone controlling the Doctor) are the ones using dreams and other techniques to keep CAL and the Doctor unaware of the real situation.  CAL and the Doctor have been programmed, so to speak, to see only the dream world. 

Symbolically, Rory (a Dinosaur metaphor) died in a cave at the end of the 2nd part of the Silurian episode, “Cold Blood.”  (The Silurians, like Vastra, have been on Earth since the Age of Dinosaurs, and now live underground.)  After that, Rory got converted into a plastic Roman.  CAL got converted into a control node of the Library computer before her body died.  Since Rory and CAL are mirrors of the Doctor, the Doctor got converted into something, but his initial self died.  In “Deep Breath,” his mirror was a cyborg, which is what CAL is.

There is an irony, however, in the Library.  Many shadows are actually real, while the “real world” is a deception.  When the Library is under attack by the shadows, Doctor Moon tells CAL the truth that the “real world” is a lie while her nightmares and the Library are real.  Something similar is happening to the Doctor.  (Ironically, BTW, the Dream Lord’s dreams are actually very close to the truth.) 

The Doctor has to wake up fully to be rescued from his imprisoned state to save the universe.  But what is the universe really?

That begs the question: Doctor Who?  It’s the oldest question in the universe, according to the Walter Simeon’s Great Intelligence and Dorium Maldovar, the blue alien who lost his head to the Headless Monks.  If it is the oldest question in the universe, the Doctor has to be the first thing in the universe.  So what exactly is the universe? 

As far as CAL is concerned, the Library and her dream life are the universe.  After all, her grandfather built it around her to keep her entertained, so she was the first person in the universe.  In a similar way, the universe must have been built around the Doctor.

 The Test of Shadows & CAL

I mentioned the shadows being real in CAL’s Library.  This actually excites me now to revisit this because I wouldn’t have mentioned this otherwise.  It does add something to the notion that the so-called shadow people in the simulations may be real.

 Star Trek, the Holodeck & the Matrix

It’s clear we are in some sort of virtual reality.  The question is where?

When I saw “The Girl Who Died,” because of the premonition linking the episode to “The Deadly Assassin,” I wondered if the Doctor really was in the Matrix.

However, many ideas have been put forth over the years in the subtext (such as a computer, android, cyborg, Dalek, Matrix, Void), so I hadn’t come to any conclusions.

“Under the Lake” and “Before the Flood”

For example, just before “The Girl Who Died,” we saw “Under the Lake” and “Before the Flood,” which featured a couple of Star Trek references.  In the image below, we see the Doctor once again standing in the middle of the mural of Jörmungandr on one side and a boat with the 3 crew of the original Star Trek series on the other.

The second Star Trek reference is on the flood door, shown below. 1701B refers to the Enterprise-B, the starship used in the crossover movie Generations, which features some of the original Star Trek crew, along with the Star Trek: The Next Generation crew.  In this movie, we see former Captain Kirk in the Nexus, which is an extra-dimensional realm in which one's thoughts and desires shape reality.  Time and space have no meaning, allowing one to visit any time and any place that one can imagine.  The Nexus most closely sounds like a cross between the Void in DW and the Ghost of Love and Wishes gemstone.  In the Void, space and time have no meaning.

In the 11th Doctor episode “The Big Bang,” the Doctor flew the Pandorica into the Void to close the cracks in the universe.

“Oxygen” & the Void

We examined the opening to “Oxygen”: “Space, the final frontier.”  It’s also the first line of the opening credits to Star Trek.  The Doctor also mentions something else twice.

DOCTOR [OC]: Space, the final frontier. Final because it wants to kill us. Sometimes we forget that, start taking it all for granted. The suits, the ships, the little bubbles of safety, as they protect us from the void. But the void is always waiting.

The Doctor’s use of the void is really curious here.  It doesn’t seem to be the standard astronomical usage.  A cosmic void is a large region of space that contains very few or no galaxies.  I see lots of stars in the background, so it doesn’t look like a cosmic void.  It seems unlikely that he means the Void, but it’s possible.

“Extremis” & the Holodeck

Once again in “Extremis,” we get a Star Trek reference after Bill and Nardole run out of the CERN projection.

BILL: They're not real?

NARDOLE: No, no, they're holograms. They're holographic simulations. And the people in them, too.

BILL: Sorry, what?

NARDOLE: You know, like the holodeck on Star Trek, or a really posh VR without a headset. Through there, those places, that's basically Grand Theft Auto.

Is there really a holodeck-type simulation running?  We saw that in “The God Complex,” where the hotel with rooms containing people’s greatest fears, is actually a holographic prison.  Once the beast (red arrow) collapses, the hotel starts disappearing, until we see the hologrid and computer in the image below.  The Tivolian and Minotaur are actually real.

This certainly could be part of the Matrix, too, and the Eye of Harmony under the floor of the Panopticon in the Gallifreyan Capitol.

Before the Minotaur dies, the Doctor translates its words

(The Minotaur growls.)

AMY: What's it saying?

DOCTOR: An ancient creature, drenched in the blood of the innocent, drifting in space through an endless, shifting maze. For such a creature, death would be a gift. Then accept it, and sleep well. I wasn't talking about myself.

(The Minotaur dies.)

The Minotaur, which is a mirror of the Doctor, is talking about the Doctor.  This does suggest the Doctor is in a prison ship with a holodeck, like the Starship UK.  However, I haven’t seen anything definitive yet that says where he is.  Since there are multiple Doctors (real or not), he could be in multiple places, which was implied in “Extremis.”

The choice of the Minotaur goes along with the Greek story of Icarus, which we’ve seen before in our examination of “The Pilot.”  The Minotaur interestingly is a hybrid, part man, part bull, whose heritage is connected to Poseidon, the Greek sea god, who is also god of other waters, of earthquakes, and of horses.  Once again, there is a connection here to the sea.

BTW, Danny Pink, after he integrates alchemically with Clara in “The Caretaker,” is associated with the flag of Bardados, shown below, which has Poseidon’s trident on it.  Therefore, the Doctor is associated with Poseidon, which goes along with fish and sea creatures symbolizing the Doctor.

I do expect that we may see some type of sea episode, given that sea creatures are metaphors for the 12th Doctor.  Or was Loch-less as close as we get?

The Matrix, Missy & the Master

We’ve seen the virtual reality world in the Matrix data slice that Missy was uploading minds to in “Dark Water” and “Death in Heaven.”  So Missy could very well be controlling the Doctor through the Matrix, especially since Danny Pink, a mirror of the Doctor, ended up there.

On top of that, we see projections from the Matrix in “Hell Bent.”  The Cloister Wraiths are projections of dead Time Lords from within the Matrix.  However, there is something curious in the Cloisters with the Doctor and Clara. 

In the image below, the Doctor (red arrow) and Clara (white arrow) have 2 concentric, broken circles around their heads.  Also, both the Doctor and Clara have 4 crosses each on the compass points.  The circles suggest that both the Doctor and Clara are beings of pure consciousness.  The broken parts of the circles suggest that they are not trapped. Therefore, they are either ghosts, or they are living minds inside the computer.

If we go by “The Deadly Assassin,” Missy and maybe the Master are using the Matrix to lure the Doctor into a deadly trap.  After watching “Extremis,” Missy will most likely want revenge.  Because of the huge number of references to “The Deadly Assassin,” I’m betting she and the Master have a large hand in what is happening, beyond what we’ve examined.

BTW, in “The Deadly Assassin,” we learn a bit more about the Master’s powers. 

ENGIN: What about his character?

DOCTOR: Bad.

ENGIN: Oh, Doctor, could you please be a little more specific?

DOCTOR: Yes. He was evil, cunning and resourceful. Highly developed powers of ESP and a formidable hypnotist. And the more I think about it, the less likely it seems.

ENGIN: What?

DOCTOR: Well, that the Master would meekly accept the end of his regeneration cycle. It's not his style at all.

ENGIN: But that's something we must all accept, Doctor.

(Engin hands the Doctor a drink.)

DOCTOR: Thank you. Not the Master. No, he had some sort of plan. That's why he came here, Engin.

The last we saw of John Simm’s Master, he was burning up his own life force.  Is he trying to steal the Doctor’s regenerations?

The Master’s ESP capabilities explain why Nardole talks about the friend in the Vault sensing the Doctor’s injuries.

NARDOLE: What if you came back injured or sick? You really think our friend down there won't know that? Won't sense it? Look at me!

 Real Life: Some People Think We Are Living in a Simulation

The idea of living in a simulation comes straight out of the headlines.  Several rich people have hired scientists to get us out of the simulation they believe we are in.  In fact, Elon Musk, co-founder and CEO of Tesla, Inc. believes that life is almost certainly not what he calls “base reality.”  Popular Science had an article about a year ago about it.

However, whether one is living in reality vs. dreams is a very old question.  In Daoist philosophy, there is an ancient text attributed to Zhuangzi (c. 369 BCE – c. 286 BCE).  His most famous story was that he dreamt of being a butterfly.  He woke up and didn’t know if he was Zhuangzi dreaming of being a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming he was Zhuangzi.