#the US honestly just needs a new constitution to have any hope

[durn4h]

It’s kind of incredible how so many Americans that are critical of the country are still making appeals to the founders/founding documents and hold up the idea that America at its core is or at least at its foundation was the perfect state and don’t realize that the flaws were there since before day 1

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #336: Manannan mac Lir (Bazett)

happy valentines day! I hope y’all are enjoying your new year’s ships and a waifus, and… uh… whatever else alloromantic people get up to. I’ll be enjoying the cheap chocolate on the fifteenth. today on Grailfinders we’re building Manannan mac Lir, but they’re mostly just Bazett again.

we’re mixing up this build a bit- she’s still a Monk, but an Astral Self monk this time. the Death portion of the build is taken over by her Cleric half this time.

check out her build below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

next up: Infinitiger, R.I.P.

Ancestry & Background

Bazett’s literally a Human, no getting around that. with variant rules, you get +1 Constitution and +1 Wisdom, as well as proficiency in Arcana because you are a mage, and the Mage Slayer feat because killing mages is kind of your job. with this feat, you can slap people who cast spells within 5’ of you, and your attacks force disadvantage on anyone who needs to maintain concentration. on top of all that, you get advantage on saves against spells cast by people within 5’ of you. so, slam your hand into the wall to keep that wizard from escaping and kiss them beat them up. what. I’m not being weird you’re being weird.

speaking of weird, your background! there’s a spell I want that we could only get otherwise through convoluted class nonsense, so you’re a Gruul Anarch for your background. they don’t like magic either, and I gave the Mesopotamian gods Ravnican backgrounds, so I guess this is still consistent? you get Animal Handling and Athletics proficiency for free, plus an extended spell list to prepare from. when you learn spells you can pick between Compelled Duel, Speak with Animals, and Thunderwave at level 1, Beast Sense and Shatter at level 2, Conjure Animals and Conjure Barrage at level three, Dominate Beast and Stoneskin at level 4, and Destructive Wave at level five. we’re only really here for conjure animals, which I’ll explain when we can cast it, but anything that breaks stuff or makes you harder to break is a good pick too. don’t worry about coloring inside the lines too much, we can’t afford to send out Enforcers.

Ability Scores

your highest score should be Wisdom, that’s how you hunt down mages, summon weapons, use spells, and avoid dying. it’s a good skill, you should be good at it. after that is Dexterity. you can’t summon your weapons right away, so being good at regular punching is a good idea too. third is Constitution. you don’t die easy, a good trait for any PC to have. I wish we could make your Strength higher, but it’s still positive, and we can cover that with wisdom later. that means your Intelligence is also lower than I’d like, I assume you have to be clever to fight mages, but honestly the power scaling in this universe is pretty inconsistent, so who knows. that means we’re dumping Charisma. you just don’t plain get along with other people. thank goodness you’re not a paladin.

Class Levels

1. Monk 1: we’re starting off as a monk so you can fight in a suit, dress, or whatever the fuck that second outfit is. that’s because you have Unarmored Defense, adding your Wisdom modifier to your AC for some extra protection. everyone should have extra protection on valentines day, unless you want little bazletts toddling around in a year or so.

you also learn how to beat people to death with your bare hands thanks to your Martial Arts. when attacking unarmed or with a monk weapon (simple weapons and/or shortswords) you can use your dexterity for the attack and damage rolls, always deal at least a d4 (or more as you level up) in damage, and you can make an unarmed attack as a bonus action! you can bring all the fancy toys you want, but sometimes you just have to get your hands dirty. make sure to trim those fingernails.

starting as a monk also gives you a bonus to Strength and Dexterity saves, as well as History and Stealth. you fight servants a surprising amount for a human, and you need to fight those servants with your bare hands.

2. Monk 2: second level monks gain Ki equal to their monk level each short rest, which you can spend to dash, disengage, dodge, or attack twice as a bonus action. you can also make a Dedicated Weapon as part of your short rest, turning a non-monk weapon you’re proficient in into a monk weapon for the rest of the day. right now this does nothing, but your cleric subclass gives you proficiency with all weapons, so if you’re hankering for more weaponry it’ll be along shortly.

you also get Unarmored Movement this level, increasing your speed as you level up. your fists aren’t ranged weapons, so you’ll need a gap closer.

3. Monk 3: third level monks can Deflect Missiles as a reaction, reducing damage from a ranged attack and giving you a chance to throw it back if you spend a ki point. it’s not quite fragarach, but it’s a good point to start.

you also start getting in tune with Manannan, and unlock your Astral Self. at level three this grants you the Arms of the Astral Self. spend a ki point and your bonus action, and boom, magic weapons floating around you. when you enter this mode all creatures near you need to make a dex save or take force damage, and then it lasts for a whopping ten minutes, no concentration required. now you can use Wisdom to make attacks, using your new arms to make unarmed strikes. you get increased range with these, and they deal force damage instead of the usual kind. you can choose your arms’ appearance, so they can be literal arms or any kind of weapon you want. of course, if you want a “real” ranged weapon you can always stock up on throwing knives.

4. Cleric 1: now that we have your basic weapons and ascension gear down, we need a horse. yes this is important. as a Death cleric you start off as a Reaper, giving you a bonus necromancy cantrip like Toll the Dead to really beat the hell out of children, or anyone else who gets in your way. if the target fails a wisdom save, the take a moderate amount of necrotic damage, with the damage die growing if they’re not at full health. you can also hit two creatures with it instead of one if they’re next to each other. you’ve got two hands, after all.

you also learn how to cast and prepare spells using your Wisdom this level! since you can pick and choose every day, don’t stress too much about getting the perfect spell list down. that being said, you get Guidance and Resistance for cantrips to be better than most mages, as well as Light for a little holy background.

at level one you get False Life and Ray of Sickness for free, but I’d pay more attention to Thunderwave from your Gruul spell list, as well as Inflict Wounds for a major suckerpunch and Detect Magic to make fighting mages a lot easier.

5. Cleric 2: second level clerics can Channel Divinity once per short rest in two ways. all clerics can Turn Undead to make skeletons run away on a failed wisdom save, but you also get a Touch of Death, adding a bit of necrotic damage to a creature when you hit them with a melee attack. thankfully, both your astral arms and regular arms count as melee attacks. but not melee weapon attacks, which is why we didn’t go paladin.

6. Cleric 3: third level clerics get second level spells this level, you get Blindness/Deafness and Ray of Enfeeblement for free, but I’d like to draw your attention to the Gruul spell Shatter. punching through walls is usually hard, but not for you. you can use Protection from Poison for some debuff resistance, or you could summon a Spiritual Weapon if you’re still miffed you’re not technically summoning swords most of the time.

7. Cleric 4: fourth level clerics get their first Ability Score Improvement, and it’s also your first ASI. sorry it took so long to get your Wisdom higher; we needed a good base to build on first. now your wisdom helps you out in every conceivable way, so I hope it was worth the wait.

you also learn the Thaumaturgy cantrip this level- you’re part god, you might as well sound like it.

8. Cleric 5: fifth level clerics can Destroy Undead when they’re turned if they’re CR ½ or lower. you also get third level spells, so if you want chocolate skeletons of your own, Animate Dead can help out there. you also get Vampiric Touch for free, but again we’re here for the Gruul spell Conjure Animals. you need a horse, and it was this or going paladin for find steed. on the plus side with this spell you’ll get plenty of replacements for when your horse is inevitably shot out from under you. you can also use Dispel Magic and Remove Curse for some retroactive debuff immunity, and Protection from Energy to kind of counter magic.

9. Cleric 6: okay, we’re done with walls of text each level for a bit. at sixth level you can channel divinity twice a short rest, and your Inescapable Destruction sounds cool but just means your spells and CDs ignore resistance to necrotic damage, so that touch deals a near-guaranteed 17 bonus damage now.

10. Monk 4: fourth level monks also get an ASI for more Dexterity for those times you run out of arms and spells, as well as Slow Fall to counter gravity as well. you can also spend 2 ki and an action for some Quickened Healing, taking a breather to keep up your fighting spirit. It’s Second Wind, but worse!

11. Monk 5: fifth level monks get an Extra Attack each action for up to four fisticuffs a turn. you can also turn any one of those into a Stunning Strike, spending ki to force a Constitution save on someone you hit. if they fail, they can’t do much of anything for a round, and melee attackers get advantage to slug ‘em again. finally, you can also spend ki on Focused Aim to nail a jumpier target, turning ki into attack bonus.

12. Monk 6: sixth level monks have Ki-Empowered Strikes, so your unarmed attacks are all magical now! you could’ve gotten around those sorts of defenses with your mind fists already, but a free alternative is never a bad idea. speaking of those arms, you can either spend a bonus action or combo together with your Arms of the Astral Self to summon a Visage of the Astral Self for 1 ki point. while masked up, you see in all kinds of darkness for 120’ and have advantage on Insight and Intimidation checks. your charisma’s bad, but seeing someone punch a car and keep going will put the fear of god in anybody. on top of that, you can mute your voice so only one person can hear you, or amplify it so everything in a 600’ radius can. beating mages to death tends to be either very loud, or very quiet. now you have options for both.

13. Monk 7: Seventh level monks can counter fireballs with ease thanks to Evasion blocking half the damage of failed dexterity saves and all the damage of successes. you also get Stillness of the Mind which shuts down effects charming or frightening you as an action. hooray for more debuff immunity!

14. Monk 8: of course an ounce of prevention equals a pound of cure, so let’s max out that Wisdom this ASI for stronger saves, attacks, spells, and stuns. wisdom: it’s what’s for dinner!

15. Monk 9: ninth level monks get Unarmored Movement Improvement. now you can run up walls and over water, though you’ll fall down if you end your turn off solid ground. is it really an anime fistfight if you haven’twalked on a wall at least once?

16. Monk 10: at level ten, monks have a Purity of Body that makes you 100% immune to disease and poison. given how much chocolate the average master has to eat every year, you’re going to need that.

17. Monk 11: eleventh level astral monks get the real fun stuff when you start making the Body of the Astral Self. it’s a free bonus you can put on if you’ve summoned up both your arms and face. with this you can counter magical attacks better with Deflect Energy, using your reaction to reduce incoming elemental damage. of course your counter attack also uses your reaction, but you can’t counter something if you’re not alive to do so, so it’s kind of a moot point by then.

the real reason this level’s great for counter attacks is your Empowered Arms. once per turn, you deal an extra die of damage when you hit someone with an arm. an astral arm. your regular arms are nice but they’re not magic. probably. I mean they are magic bc of the ki-empowered strikes, but- yknow what? this is getting too confusing, next level!

18. Cleric 7: whew, now we can talk about something simple, like… fourth level spells! you get Blight and Death Ward for free, but I’m more interested in the gruul spell Stoneskin. it gives resistance to nonmagical physical damage! that doesn’t sound so great, but when you punch through one too many support pillars you’ll be happy to have it. Locate Creature is also a great spell to hunt down whatever your mark of the day is.

19. Cleric 8: you get one last ASI, so bump up that Constitution for extra health. it’s retroactive, so that’s 19 bonus HP! your fight plan is to deliberately get hit with someone’s strongest attack- trust me, you need that health. also, Destroy Undead works on CR 1 creatures, and once a turn you can make a Divine Strike, adding 1d8 necrotic damage to the target of a weapon attack once a turn. remember, your unarmed attacks are both melee attacks (so they work with Touch of Death), and weapon attacks (so they work with Divine Strike), but not melee weapon attacks (so they don’t work with Divine Smite). this is all completely reasonable.

20. Cleric 9: ninth level clerics get fifth level spell. I hate to be repetitive, but once again your freebies Antilife Shell and Cloudkill aren’t really what we’re after. That being said you do get Destructive Wave for a big stompy AoE attack, as well as Holy Weapon if you’re really itching for a shiny white sword. whatever weapon you touch deals extra radiant damage, and it can explode if you end the spell early. you could also use something like Dispel Good and Evil to knock a servant back to the throne early, if you wish.

Pros & Cons:

Pros:

as mentioned in Cursed Arm’s build, monks have great mobility, and being able to use that mobility without ever having to enter an enemy’s melee range is a huge bonus to a monk’s survivability. you got long arms, basically, and with those and your speed boosts, you can deal all the damage you want while staying pretty safely out of the range of most monsters.

if you really want to fight at long range, you have access to one of the best spell lists in the game, only made better by the additions from your background. I know we didn’t touch on many spells in this build, but that just means you have even more wiggle room to work with when you prepare each day.

for once, we have a build that isn’t Multi-Ability Dependent! I know that’s not much to say, but monk builds usually tend to be a bit messier than the others. being able to hard-focus on wisdom makes your whole experience a lot smoother.  also I didn’t have anywhere else to put it, but you deal a lot of damage in a single hit, which is unusual for a monk. this, plus your usual monkly number of attacks, means even the most nimble of enemies only needs to get unlucky once to feel the brunt of your power.

Cons:

you have a lot of resources to keep on top of. two that recharge on short rests, and one that recharges on long rests. add in the flexibility of ki, spells, and divine channeling, and you’re bound to get a headache from all that thinking.

of course there’s a good chance you won’t even be able to use most of that if you spend your time trying to counterattack like you’re supposed to be able to. we still never really found a better option than simply holding your action, and that sucks! it eats up most of your turn on the off chance someone else does something cool. you’re the PC! you should be the one doing cool stuff!

we took a whole background just for a horse. it’s not even a special horse. just flavor something else as a horse and pick a more fitting background, it’s really not worth it. cleric already has damage spells and protection spells up the wazoo, the Gruul spells mostly add flavor tbh. they don’t hurt, but you won’t be using these horses in a fight, and outside of a fight you can just buy some.

[introvertedlass]

But my question is, what they're doing now, do you think it's a warped version of PR with the leaking info to the fan sites etc..so what I'm trying to say, what they're actually doing, does that still constitute as PR by NOT being papped, and the sources leaking info on here etc?

Does that make sense at all?//

Hi! It’s me 💅🏼💕

Seeing is that Evans has for many times said he wants a “private life��, it seems that this may have something to do with the “private couple” image they are trying to sell. Also- I have found that since him and his team/agency have made the mistake of not having any organic sightings before the first outing they had together in public and it being the same day as her new season premiere (big promo and pr move for a series had ZERO promo done) and being as that they got caught up in the lie of a “year-2 year long relationship”- now they are sticking to being “private” yet pumping out pr through leaks and subtle articles.

However, there were a lot of articles specifically about the “relationship” and linking her to Evans. That’s how name recognition and connections work in the industry, particularly if one of the counterparts are “no names”. This was great publicity for her. Her social media following grew heavily.

Leaking info to blogs from teams- that’s not something that would normally happen. And this case seems to be a special case due to how Baptista behaves and the friends she has. I am certain she lurks and trolls by way of tumblr/Twitter or her Instagram. And if she or her friends aren’t leaking this “info” it’s likely just anyone that is getting a rise out of people in the fandom.

That person who claimed to work for publisher coming on to “share insight” does not seem accurate or reliable. No one in the industry or honestly close/connected to celebs will be coming and sharing info to blog mods to this degree that some blog mods claim to have had. If they have received info- it has been clearly planted for a reason- to push a narrative. That doesn’t mean it’s true or honest. So when a certain blog has claimed to have “content on Jessica” but they refuse to share it- tells me that it’s possible they received something, BUT whoever sent it to them, which by the way, out of all the organic ways to share a celeb sighting (through ig or Twitter) a “regular person who spotted Evans and Baptista” decided to go to a tumble blog to share it. That’s a leak. And the blog kid doesn’t realize they are being used to push a false narrative and a staged sighting or a “couple” doing normal things.

So to lastly answer your question- these leaks can possibly be from the teams, but there is no definitive proof on that. But it’s important to understand that, celebrity teams do know thee importance of the fandoms and that if they need a certain narrative to be taking course, they will finds ways to leak/share/push it. Also, the social media interactions between her and Evans (his family/friends) and the articles are absolutely PR. I hope I answered the question. 😊

Sorry that’s long. 💅🏼💕

Thank you 💅🏼💕

[datastate]

nno chapter 7... so much info has been unleashed

you are so scary, but i like you so much. i'm also really really really hoping kira isn't something that also steadily gets rid of your life/constitution in exchange.

he's too silly for his own good... he didn't die and his first thought is wow! it WOULD be weird if we made a tournament featuring ninjas from around the area.

i'm actually so unwell. i don't have much to say here other than a tearful thumb-up. i really love miharu...

get his ass you pained & pathetic little beast (said extremely affectionately)

okay, this is unrelated to the entire page, but i've noticed it a few times and does he. well it seems as though. he has a ring on his left hand... what's that about.....

koichi with the face of someone who already knew this, too... made the stunt with the sword all the more dangerous, intentionally or no. even though i understand their intentions, i'm just. grahhh... i need to blend them. of course you don't want to overwhelm miharu with everything at once, and it's been difficult with the. everything. but also :'] augh... someone like miharu seems to really need a basis of what's happening to know how to plan ahead and manage it. even with the initial shock, miharu had the stability of having a home routine to follow to give him time to adjust & actually approach tobari again and give this a shot... regardless of whatever shock it'll cause, something like this would probably need even more time to be integrated - i don't know if there's a way to remove it completely on your own, but honestly if miharu hadn't disconnected himself from the shinrabanshou (at least, the part that was conversing with him), it could've risked his life i'd think...

in any case. i find tobari's reaction to discovering that stuff really amusing. and also the hands are always so nice

i need to like. imprint this on my brain. i'm so bad with names </3 it's really interesting getting to see the origins though :3 however it's also making me wonder if it was maybe that miharu's mother was part of an opposing clan ... an that's how fuuma recognized her in miharu?

also i. Ouh. i had a terrible thought. wouldn't it be fucked up if the part of the shinrabanshou that was communicating w miharu purposefully took the form of his mother. not even in the sense that she had it, necessarily, though it could be entirely possible it's one of the previous users anyway that's just guiding people down this path -- but to give the whole idea of something/someone that can be trusted without having a physical replacement to refute it... hmmm.

Oh. nevermind. Okay maybe miharu & tobari were just part of banten. i briefly had the thought when they were like 'oh they're a small group comparatively' but Aughhh...

^he is literally eating. be kind.

"you can't be saying that white baby"

real talk though, i'm really loving how the plot's building up to this already - making it imperative for miharu to be involved regardless of what he does/n't do, so he may as well be there to figure out what his fate will be once they get their hands on what this new style will be. although i wonder how it's lethality will be. determined... without using miharu as the subject immediately, for the wolf gang i assume they'd. have to practice on removing & repurposing hijutsu from. yoite, yes...... oh no.

[thepolyamorouspolymath]

In another edition of "BE A BETTER FUCKING LIAR", a guy we'll call... Sales (bc fuck 'im, he's not worth a good name)... hit me up on Facebook, which I hate but use for business-y shit.

First weird, bc I just set all new profiles everywhere bc my stalker ex had his friends bugging me and so it had like 4 business related posts and the profile pic was a cartoon of me that my extremely talented kid drew (who I'd be happy to put links for except he doesn't give them to me... @aceofenderafterdark though, he's great) and like a 2 sentence bio calling Damian the worst Robin and Episode 1 the worst Star Wars.

That was it.

Claimed my profile image showed creativity, and I'm like yep sure does... that of an 18 year old boy who helped his mom our by drawing it bc I'm terrible. Had a bunch of comic stuff, though didn't seem to get into my analysis of them but just like pics of merch. Which neat but I'd rather hear who you think is better Superman or Martian Manhunter and why it's 100% J'onn than see a picture of an action figure.

Made my no casual sex position clear. He claimed that no he really wanted to get to know me and a relationship.

Yeah, sure, never heard that before.

I'm asking him questions... getting like nothing back. He invites me to his place including some play, I said no.

I said I had given him the playbook, that I expected some romance, some wooing, some genuine interest beyond physical before I met and he hadn't passed the pre screen

He countered he'd be romantic in person. I explained that sweaty groping isn't romance and any guy not willing to put in the effort in advance isn't going to be -- they say it to get you there and then keep pushing your boundaries and standards hoping you'll fuck them on a whim.

"No I want to tease you before I fuck you."

First, confirms my opinion, second tells me you're gonna be a shitty partner since you haven't listened to what I like.

Asked me for the same damn thing I already said no to -- y'all, I do not stutter, I do not mumble, I don't waffle, I don't try to soften blows... when I say no, it is incredibly fucking clear.

He claimed he needed more guidance on what I was looking for in pre screening. I said showing genuine interest beyond physical would be a start.

He asked my favorite movie.

I'd already told him 3 times.

AND IT'S RETURN OF THE FUCKING JEDI, ITS NOT EXACTLY OBSCURE!

Some other dude tried to say men don't pay attention to that shit bc they think important things (bitch I am analyzing the entire planet at once and I can tell you how to make B's favorite chicken without doing it for years, remember his Chinese name I'm forbidden to use, how to make M tea I haven't made in 8 years, along with his favorite war stories even though they bored me, what game N liked at the casino and his favorite TV show... and they were years ago. I can also tell you Riveria's WS ERA in the 90s, and describe the phenomenon of the exploding fastball and how few pitchers have ever pulled it off, put forth a compelling defense of Pete Rose for the Hall even if he's a bastard bc he knows more about the game than any man living or dead.... I can cite constitutional theory and precedents for how all drugs constitutionally should be legal, though regulation is fine, give you an analysis of any philosopher taught at a college level that decimates the professor, discuss the comparative strength of every classic Godzilla film, dissect and enjoy Shakespeare and Sanderson with equal measure and thoroughness, BACKWARDS AND HEELS... Men have too much important to remember a movie. Bite my feminist ass.) And beyond that an extra question of "why?" would have demonstrated how I think as well a lot about my values and character (I take my Star Wars seriously.)

Honestly, I expect people to lie sometimes. I don't like it but hey men lying to fuck women is nothing new. But ffs, doing so badly is so goddamn insulting to my intelligence.

Get better.

[moondonky]

Broke bitches

How the government always fucking broke,, they just had more money than the last 80 years combined,, like why, where's there audit,, and they take 40% of everyone else's money, inflation is controlled just a hidden tax, where the fuk is it all going , why do they keep raising the debt ceiling,, they suck at money, look around there not fixing anything, there not really building anything,, they toll everything make u pay for parking,, idk if it's just me but things seem dirtier.. like we just pulled out of a war that costed billions daily,, shouldn't we have more money, thy keep printing it I don't see a mountain of money... 30 trillion what are they buying,, is there even enough things to buy, would u b able to buy every single thing on this planet,,, thats alot of fucking money, where is it? U could buy all the gold in existence twice with that much money.. maybe not Ugandas recent discovery of like 13 trillion dollars worth of gold,, thats the other thing wouldn't the price of gold be declining,, didn't the supply just double... this is why I say everything is rigged and imaginary,, they don't really need money, there just keeping people poor at this point,, like people are peasants and they are bloodline royalty... isn't that like the opposite of why America became America,, or did I miss something studying history,, was it all bs where they lying, were they teaching us a bs story.. wasn't our money suppose to b backed by silver.. wasn't that in the constitution... everything happening,, did we vote for any of this, I'm pretty sure our founding fathers would yell treason... where the fuk is all the money... Money is worthless now why even keep working, they don't why should i, I ain't touching there cars rn.. lets see them do it.. let's see them do anything.. its there luxurious world thats burning, how we serve them is what's degrading, in no way are they a majority, they are there own tiny useless community..

I'm just gonna float,, I feel like I can tread longer.. I'll watch it I'm in the water, I'll watch it all burn down I'm not firefighter, even they are too busy fighting overdoses.. I don't think cops give af either, and that might be that people at the top arnt doing there job, they made things dangerous, they made things impossible, i wouldnt get in plane with those new pilots.. if ur gonna sit on the pot u better b fucking shitting,, if u gonna manage u better b good at it,, unlike the rest of the world,, u do not let the American people catching u fucking slacking,, if ur gonna be important show that your important that shits annoying... I really feel the world would be better off without them,, I honestly think it would immediately improve actually.. where the fuk is the money... and I know, I'm not stupid, I'm just stubbornly asking.. I already followed the money,, they were suppose to pay off the debt, they were suppose to balance the deficit... instead they put in there pockets they gave themselves bigger pensions, not to mention all the frivolous bs lawsuits that we end up paying for, they even took half of everyone's retirements,, that people worked thirty forty fifty fucking years for, they worked there entire lives for... I'm srry I'm not fucking doing that,, I'd rather live in a cave like wtf is that,, who tf does that, what a waste...

Effin millenial I'm urked,, I'm disappointed af,, when my grandma died I wasn't even allowed to go to the funeral, because of covid, because of liberal division,, even in my own family, I didn't know they were so weak,, I had to pray to pay respects.. I had to grieve by myself, that changed me, all that shit was for money, I ain't putting up with no fake shit no more,, I'm glad it's collapsing i hope it all dissapears... its all an illusion that's not gonna affect me.. I hope all that money melts like wax and I hope they get stuck in it.. I wanna see them work, I eanna see them struggle, I wanna see them sweat, i wanna see them carry shit, i wanna see them skip meals, I wanna see what they look like when there fatigued and exhausted, I wanna see them with sum dirty hands,, I wanna see them do what I've been doing for the last twenty years.. and I wanna see if they can keep a smile on there fuckin ugly faces. They look like demons, they act like demons, they think like demons, they do shit demons do.. so to me they fit the definition, they are demons

[evil-wild-lesbian-wizard]

C-section? More like skill issue

Flicks a can, slut

I was doing my job last night, your moms new name is Job

Ok just because I don’t want the wardrobe monsters eating them; doesn’t mean I like them

You know you’re dead when you hear the jazz music slowly approaching

Sings seven nation army jazzily

That’s not jazz!!!! It is now mother fucker

Wiki how is corrupting you

If you didn’t want me to eat your knee you shouldn’t have been such a Whore

Are you consuming the propaganda

Thou shalt not eat propaganda right up there with thou shalt not get impregnated with the baby of

satan in a Walmart bathroom

It’s lovely day out. I’m gonna kill my self

Not all of us are cowards Blair. Drink some milk

Are you high on a lack of brain cells??

I hope your bathbomb is a toaster

I’m gonna baptize people from the inside out

Do it pussy boy

I have no authority to say things but I do have audacity

Drinks water: yep, still soapy

Ur moms a metaphor

I don’t have pockets so have to put it in my mouth

Hey! No conflict without me

It’s not my fault, I just keep saying iconic things

No you can’t eat that! Well fuuuuuuuck you too man

Banished to the cheese dungeon for a thousand years

You were in a music video and you were just losing the argument

I give zero fucks, I will lick your hands. ^they’re probably salty^

I don’t wanna be sniffed!!!

Oofles buddy

Toyota more lil get fucked

Toyota local boob jobs

Toyotathon more like titython

Don’t guilt trip him! No I am.

We don’t eat spicy sky rasins

Hey don’t be sad the my soul cock is bigger than yours

I shit myself on the strip in Las Vegas and all I got was this lousy Tshirt

Have you ever seen a non Arab Muslim? Yes. OH SHIT THEY’RE COLONIZING

I guess if you have dick cheese….

If you take viagra and your dick starts crunching we have problems

Before and after riger mortis I’ll smash

GIVE ME YOUR VAGINA!!

Suck my dick fingers

Thou shalt eat silica beads

I just want them to use a condom

My back is not crackin shlackin

What scares you the most? Women.

What is wrong with you? 👍🏻

I washed my hair this morning. YAY!! In a Starbucks bathroom. NO!!

Do I support gun violence?

I like grapefruit because it reminds me of vagina

Your fangs need some viagra

Your old soft ball teammates dad killed three people on a motorcycle while he was high on crack

I got bit by an old person, I am not friends with old people

Are there bugs in my eye?

Honestly the school needs to serve more cunt

So I saunter up to the dragon all sexy like

He’s got the shotussy

Who here considers me their father?…. That’s concerning

Product of turkey? You’re telling me a turkey made this

If you are curious about how much cannabis you can transport in your car, the answer is not 82 pounds

It’s not violence if it’s vehicular manslaughter

That’s a lie I’m no cashier, burger maker is I

Diversity wins! The gay person can catch

The lama is gay!

You lost hydration privileges

I heard something about the devil, are we talking about the devils lettuce??

Wake up it’s time to overthrow the government

Ugh shoulders? You’re not being a good catholic

If you drink holy water do you sweat catholic?

Jesus will airdrop you a copy of the constitution

Lying: the foundation of every good thing

Sure just beat up the twink..wtf

Just gonna drink my monster and judge you

I’m gonna spend the rest of the day on ao3

You ever just look at a banana and think damn those sexy lady hips

Poland disagrees

Is bread masculine

I love the smell of superiority in the morning

To whom it may concern you suck

WERE UNIONIZING!!

you can’t have a child labor cult without any children.

The trans masculine urge to jump off of a bridge

The only difference between god and my asshole is that people worship my asshole

Get that bread you funky little stripper man!

It’s gonna hurt but we’re gonna be closer because of it! That’s just trauma bonding Jess!!

Breasticles in my testicles

Might I see thine fair breasts on this yonder morn my dear lady

Tits are too funny, breasts are too formals, Tatas just aren’t it, so idk man

Why do you know what pegging is?? INTERNATIONAL WOMENS DAY DUH!?!??

Boat captain do you have a long or short tow rope? HOW BIG IS YOUR PENIS???

Mother said can’t have glitter so I got GLITTER

Imma call the pope and be all “yo Francy, what’s up come snatch this Whore”

YOU CANT RAMEN IN A STARBUCKS CUP WITH LUKEWARM WATER

Damn green waste material always turning my blood the wrong color

Don’t flirt with your sleep paralysis demon

Serve that crusty cunt

No!! I have to refrigerate my bull semen

WHY EOULD YOU KILL MY CHIKD

Abortion? More like eviction notice

If you remove your scapulas are you free from sin? Yes that’s how you become a true Christian

Man Carry the weight of the world on their shoulder and women carry the weight of their sins

(Whispered) *genital herpes*

Don’t worry it’s not my dildo, it’s the schools!!

I fucked god he’s not impressive

TOUCH THE FETENOYL BUNNY LOGAN!!!!

My goal in life is helatitis b

Diseases? GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!!

We’re gonna be so ready to march on the captial with our legion of screaming armed smal children

“Whawhawha” all I hear is fascist dictator!! I NEVER KILLED ANY JEWS!! THATS WHAT HITLER SIAD YOU FLOPPY COCK

Go on, test me, “I know where you sleep”

Booooo

That really resonated with the girlies

No he was not “the one the got away” he was the bastard who stole my catalytic converter and kissed me in a Wendy’s parking lot

Vagina!🥳

I wanna guilt trip old people Into buying me things

I love chickens but I don’t feel bad about eating them

I’m gonna find a fish and it’s gonna end up in your face

After being slapped in the face by so many fish I can’t help but hate them

Are you a pescatarian because you love animals or because you really hate fish ?

No, her soul is an orbee

R:”It’s cuz the salad was underdressed”

M:*staring at salad with extreme disdain* “slut”

“Can I do the dishes? No. YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING”

No solar energy for naughty America it doesn’t fit the Reagan aestethitc

They wish they had my ramen swag

The children want drugs

Feed the children addictions, cuz they were born to crack whores

Being nice gets your ass deported

Nothing but good vibes bitch

Bella I don’t think you have a boyfriend I think you have a toddler

I am your best friend you chicken fried fuck

And what is your costume? Slut

*with sticker of forehead* I’m special, and I’m allergic to these

How can I be a Whore when the only thing I pull is a push door

I’m starting an only fans to find my build a bear addiction

Live laugh love- eau de old people

Ohshitfuckdickwhoreholecocksuckingmotherofdouchesarghhhhsmmmmmmmdickdickdick

Yo can’t just say girl math and justify all your actions yes I can!!!

I would do so much if it weren’t for the Geneva convention

That is truly a pathetic man….. I want him carnally

But have you considered, war crimes?

You get appendicitis, you get appendicitis…. “You’re the Oprah of apecitis”

When I grow up I want to be cremated

*Shaking a can of Pennys* I’m sorry is my richness bothering you??

Wanna file joint taxes? No you’re not my type

What a little boy fail

What do you taste like???? Chicken

I’ll belike l whip that cunt out cowboy style

They blocked you?? Cowards

My favorite breakfast food is the souls of the undead what about you?

Waffles

Do not fuck the refrigerator

Stupid slutty refrigerator

Pumpkin spice in the off season is crack-cocaine for white girls

Where is my little girlfriend? Bitch where is your dad? Where is your father?? You don’t have one. FATHERLESS BEHAVIOR

You’re dulling my sparkle you hoe bag

When life gets hard, you must get harder

Scamming child labor companies, it’s for the children!!

It genuinely brings me joy to know that I’m making people suffer,……… am I a bad person?

For litterally fucking what??

Can we lock the math teacher in the closet

Baby he’s already there

It’s not rigging an election, it’s strategic voter persuasion

Friendship is getting hit by the same car

He was such a great guy, embezzling was a minor character flaw

If you ever get upset with a child just tape them to the wall

That was not so great

This is unlucky

I’m a cheese beggar

I hate everyone equally give me cheese

Is there a hight restriction for being a lesbian ?

Of course not

……. There should be

THATS THE CUNTY ONE, he slays the hardest

I’m fagging it up in my tranny little house

I don’t know how but I can tell he’s gay

It’s the homo in you

You are gay you have built in sparkle

Girl mid

(Alex) Things to do:

(Izzy) Kill myself

(Owens) is there anything concerning on Instagram

(Alex) everything about you is concerning

If they didn’t want me to call them a slut, why are they covered in blood??

*Assorted screaming* yeah that’s about right

Why are you crying?

I saw you

Mothman ate my whole ass in a dennys parking lot. It was a grand slam breakfast

You look like mothman threw up on you, fucking hot topic ass employee looking bitch

(Alex) I don’t think Kennedy’s was born, she crawled up from hell to torment us all

(Kennedy) Oh so that’s where we met all those years ago …. All those years ago

(Alex)Is that why you look so old all the time

None of the above kill them all

(Kennedy) Alex you should kys

(Alex) your fit is giving goodwill, so shut the fuck up

Your spirit animal is a spirit animal is a ninty year old woman

Old women mitosis… they’ll never see it coming

*tries to scream but only air comes out*

Pussy slay cunt boots slay the whole house down boots Houston I’m deceased

We watched a cadaver have breast implants

Did you just womp womp a girl with cancer?

That’s life

He’s such an icon

(Kennedy) fuck you!

(Alex) no thanks

My goal in life is to make everyone uncomfortable

I have done the world a great disservice and I’m very proud of it…. Like those war crimes I committed

Where were you September 9 2001?!???

Um…. In utero?

So you admit it!!!!!!

(Owen) how do you spell keel?

(Alex) K-e-e-l

(Owens) thanks

(Alex) that’s how you get the bitches

I want to donate my kidneys, I don’t want anyone to use them I just don’t want them anymore.

So you want one of our kidneys?

Hold on let me check the list

Me and my friend group would do miracles on tumblr dot com

[wilders-girl]

Gilded City- Part One

Pairing: Pattinson!Batman x fem!reader

Rating: Mature, PG-13 type violence

Warnings: Detailed descriptions of violence, mild gore, profanity, implied drug use, reader is a sex worker I guess, also no use of y/n

Word count: 1457

A/n: this is super like. Artistic and self indulgent... I totally got carried away in a drabble so there's minimal plot sry hehe ,,, anyways!! I hope you enjoy!!!

≿━━━━༺🦇༻━━━━≾

I hesitantly walked through the door, preparing for the neverending war that awaited me outside the comfort of my apartment. I put so much trust in the weathered old thing. For a city that was constituted of danger, violence and filth, I had to rely on something. It wasn’t half bad when looking at what surrounded it. 

    I pulled the jacket tighter around my body, it was going to be a long, cold night. Clutching my duffel bag, I adjusted my hair and put my hood up to step out of the refuge of the veranda.

    It was raining. But it’s always raining in Gotham City.

—

Every day is the same. Same weather, same customers, same coworkers, same shit. You’d think I’d get bored of it, living the same day over and over again. But the truth is, it brings me some sense of comfort, knowing that every day will be the same. I don’t take well to change. But sometimes, change is necessary to achieve something greater.

It got to be too much for Selina. She left town shortly before the Iceberg went under. Who can blame her, really? The layers of deception, betrayal and corruption run deep in the veins of the elite in this city. 

But look at who’s in power. 

There is a disease running through this city, and I’ve begun to think it’s terminal. It will rip itself apart until it has nothing left to destroy. It will ooze into the cracks of anything that used to be right or just and consume it. This dilapidated shithole will have moved on to something worse than death. 

But I think there could be a glimmer of light breaking through the permanent night the clouds offer the city. Not a cure to the disease by any means, but something harsher, more brutal to fight the ruthlessness of the disease. The dictionary definition of cruelty. Something like a searing hot iron to cauterize the angry, infected sores created by evil. 

Something downright sadistic. Vengeance. The Batman.

He’s not an angel. He's no “superhero”. But he’s the one. He’s the savior and curse of Gotham at the same time. Bringing the rats out into the light to burn as they deserve. 

I was honestly not entirely convinced he was real. I saw the victims of his heinous acts on the news, but not him. For a man who does so much for the community, you’d think he’d do more to be a part of it. But that would paint a big target on his back, wouldn’t it? And he wouldn’t want that. 

I like to imagine what he’s like under that mask. What kind of life does he lead outside of his little “hobby”? How does he balance his two halves? Does he balance them at all? What keeps him from the temptation of turning into the scum he fights? Where does he draw the line?

The Batman is something else entirely. Sometimes I can’t imagine he’s a man at all, rather, something of a cautionary tale. A ghost story to put fear in the hearts of those who think they can rule the world.

—

I stepped through the back door of the club, flashing the bouncer my ID.

“Hey, Jinx.” He spoke gruffly.

I waved behind me, not bothering to give him my full attention. 

I only work on club weekdays. Monday through Thursday. I don’t necessarily need the money anymore, but I’ve been working this job since I did. Things just don’t change here.

Walking into the dressing room, I set my bag down with a sigh. I sat down, checking my watch: 8:15. I had a couple hours before I went out on stage. 

“Hey! Good to see you here a little less early, Jinx.” One of the other girls, “Angel”, smiled and briefly hugged me before setting up at her own station.

I took the opportunity to put my earbuds in and stare at the mirror, not recognizing who looked back. I chose this life, but it’s treated me harshly. I had a future before I came to Gotham, but I don’t like to think about that anymore. This is who I am now.

One of the bulbs in my vanity mirror was dimming. I rotated it a bit both ways, and it squeaked before flickering bright again.

I finally brushed through my hair, brushing any stray pieces behind my ears before pinning them back to begin my makeup. Out of my periphery, I saw two other girls walk in, but they only waved. The girls know not to talk to me when I’m doing my makeup. Those 30 minutes are when I walk the line of knowledge and freedom. Liberation and release.

Meticulous as it is, it’s when I truly become who I’m expected to be. I completely obscure who I was upon entering and replace her with someone more suited for her environment. I don’t work as myself, I work as Jinx. She is a part of me, but she is apart from me. 

I sweep my signature purple eyeshadow across my lids, then precisely wing my eyeliner. I’m almost gone now. 

As I apply my jewelry and begin to stretch, I’ve completely transitioned into someone else. The nights are a blur when she’s there. She knows exactly what to say, what moves to do, when to flash smiles and when to wink. She is a perfect product of her environment. She was programmed to entertain, and only that. So it is, so she shall, and so it must be.

—

I shouldn’t emerge at night. It should be her, not me. Even leaving the club, I let her take me home. She can sweet-talk her way out of any trouble, so I let her. I shouldn’t be there at night. But tonight, I was.

I began to regain consciousness as myself as I walked through the back door of the club. I felt my stomach churn as I walked past the usual instigators, expecting the worst at every turn.

I made it the first block or so without running into any trouble. I was about to sigh in relief  and thank God for sparing me until I saw a group of intoxicated men a little ways ahead in my path. I had to take a detour. This led me into a narrow, dark alley that I wouldn’t have gone in during broad daylight. This might have been my biggest mistake. 

The men followed me into the alley. I heard their slurred speech behind me, crude remarks and laughter echoing off the mildew and brick. I felt my fight-or-flight kick in. I knew I was not making it out of here alive. Or worse, I was. 

I decided to fight. I knew I couldn’t run away, so I decided I wasn’t going down without a fight.

I heard their obnoxious voices gradually get closer to me. I reached for the switchblade in my boot, stancing and dropping my bag when I felt their rank presences around me. I was no longer afraid to die.

One of them reached out to twirl my hair between his fingers, and I sliced his wrist open, staring him in the eyes as he screamed out in agony.

My moment of happiness didn’t last long. I was kicked to the ground and beaten. I got some slashes into one man’s ankle, distracting him until I cut through his achilles tendon, making him fall over.

Two others grabbed my hands, pinned me down and tried to tear my clothes off. I was snarling, shrieking and trying to stab the man closest to my right hand. 

I freed my hand and almost got to sink my blade into the man’s neck before I was kicked in the ribs by the one with a slit wrist. I screamed, almost blacking out due to the pain. 

I lost hearing in my left ear as my head got kicked, and I coughed out blood. The world was spinning and my vision was going foggy. 

I was almost gone.

The last thing I saw before I blacked out was a shadow coming from the darkness to my left, his boots clinking ominously with each step he took. I vaguely saw some of the men cursing and running away, with about half standing and challenging him.

The shadow didn’t accelerate. Not even when one of the men pulled out a gun.

I saw a bright flash. He’d tried to shoot him. I would have laughed if I wasn’t dying in some conspicuous alley. 

My vision finally gave way and my hearing succumbed not long after. But not before I got to hear the tortured howls and cracking bones of the men who had wronged me. 

God wouldn’t offer me retribution. Neither would the law, or the government, or any normal person. 

But he did. 

≿━━━━༺🦇༻━━━━≾

I hope u enjoyed this, everyone! I'm excited to share this story with you and I hope you are interested in where it will go!! Stay safe and have a good evening/day 💖

[masterjedilenawrites]

I’m not good at making requests, so forgive me if anything come out wrong.

But, could you do something were reader and Tech are fixing some eletronics and listening to cientific things, and start talking about a wrong thing people said there, so they get distracted and when realize, they’re in to a awkward position (like him btween her legs or sth like that)

I love your writing and thanks (: <3

Omg I've been so soft for Tech lately and this prompt is perfect 💚 I hope this is what you were looking for, I really enjoyed writing it!

Tech x reader | 2k words

...making bacta the most important scientific achievement in history...

"Dank farrik," Tech huffed beside you.

You came out of your daze at the sudden exclamation and looked at your friend with concern, trying to quickly figure out what had gone wrong. You were helping him with a project, though what it was exactly you weren't completely certain of. All you knew was it involved digging into the walls of the ship and untangling a lot of wires. You'd been instructed to hold onto several of them, keeping them pulled taught out of the wall so Tech could fiddle with the other ends, and the dullness of the task had caused your mind to wander.

"What's wrong?" you asked, doubtful you'd understand any explanation, but wanting to be sure you hadn't done anything to mess up his progress.

He waved a hand at you dismissively, not pulling his attention away from the work in front of him. "Just the radio," he mumbled.

You hadn't been paying attention; it had only been turned on as background noise to keep you from going insane with boredom. And since it was tuned into some kind of scientific news frequency, you didn't really understand much of what was being said anyway.

...with the most influential application simply being in the field of medicine, providing us higher life forms with a versatile tool in maintaining our quality of life, and potentially even prolonging it...

Tech huffed again. Scoffed. Your mouth quirked at how upset he was getting. It was kind of cute.

But, you had to debate whether engaging with his frustration would be worth it. He had only recently calmed down from his outburst earlier that day, the only time you had ever seen him genuinely upset. Wrecker had accidentally knocked over a piece of machinery that was... well, something very important, apparently. No one was too sure. But Tech had spent most of the week carefully arranging its parts just-so, so that when all his hard work went crashing onto the floor, his breathing had suddenly resembled that of a charging Nexu. He'd drawn himself up, trying to match his brother's height, and ordered the poor guy to never step foot in this part of the ship again. The other Batchers had tried to defend him and were subsequently banned as well.

That left you as the only option for help.

Maybe that meant he wouldn't kick you out for debating him....

"Sounds like they're saying some pretty reasonable things. Am I missing something?"

Tech's fingers, which had been deftly working through the wires before him, clipping some and splicing others, finally froze. The clone's face tilted over to you, his eyes looking a little too judgmental through those glasses for your liking.

"You think bacta is the most important scientific achievement?" he asked. You didn't like his tone, either.

You scrunched your mouth in thought, actually giving the question serious consideration. While you mulled it over, Tech stood up from his hunched position in the wall and started pulling on some of the wires, unraveling them from their tangled mess.

"Yeah," you finally decided. "I think medicine in general is pretty important. And bacta specifically is the strongest known substance to deliver fast and effective healing."

Tech was mostly focused on the wires, but he spared you a glance.

"And treating symptoms is the most important thing for humanity? Here, hold this." He added another wire for you to hold in your hands.

You knew it was a loaded question so you chose to answer it with one of your own. "Well if it's not bacta or medicine, then what would it be?"

"Electricity," he said quickly and assertively, as if it was the most obvious thing in the galaxy. He continued to focus more on his work and you were annoyed he didn't seem to want to offer up an explanation to his opinion, despite having made you give one. He'd finally untangled the wires and was back to leaning into the cavern in the wall and setting them into their proper places.

"Why electricity?" You hated how dumb your question sounded; obviously you understood the concept and understood its importance. You just really wanted to challenge him to give you some explanations.

"For one, most medicines would not be able to be mass-produced were it not for the electrically-run vats in which they are made." He held his hand out behind him and made a grabbing motion. "Blue, please."

You sorted out the blue wire and passed it over.

"For another," he continued, his voice sounding distant as he leaned further away into the wall, "we must ask what constitutes a quote-unquote important achievement. For example, is an achievement worthy of the title simply because it improves our quality of life? Green, please."

You handed over the corresponding wire. "I'd say it's more about preserving life. Even outside of war, there's enough injury and illness that would end life were it not for medicine to heal them."

"Ah, but in that same reasoning, electricity also sustains life. It powers sources of light and warmth, which can also provide a means of boiling water and cooking food. All keys to survival. Yellow, please."

"So does fire," you shot back. "People survived long before electricity, and there's still plenty of civilizations living fine without it."

Tech finally emerged from the wall and took the last few wires from you, the red and black ones. He met your eyes with an earnestness that let you know how much he was enjoying this conversation. "And people have survived without medicine. At least the manufactured forms that you're arguing for, like bacta. Traditional medicine is as sufficient as fire."

Before you could respond, Tech moved to the side, motioning toward the wall with his head and holding up the remaining wires.

"Now, unfortunately these last ones need to be clipped in down below. I'm not able to fit through the lattice of the floor, but someone of your stature easily could."

You stepped forward and peered down. It was a mess of machinery and pipes and beams, but you could clearly see the port where the wires had been yanked out earlier. You knelt down, resting your stomach on the edge of the wall, but paused before bending over.

"If it wasn't for bacta, you wouldn't have been born." You were confident in your comeback and thus didn't linger for his reaction, turning to bend down into the ship with your wires instead.

You were disappointed to hear his soft chuckle from above you.

"And what do you think powers the bacta tanks that hold the clone embryos?"

You were glad he couldn't see the frustrated frown on your face. While you tried to think of a new point in your debate, you snapped the red wire into the proper port. But then you realized you couldn't quite reach the black one, and started carefully shimmying forward, deeper into the wall.

"It seems we have circled back to the initial question," Tech offered in your silence. You felt his hands hold on to your hips, steadying you as your legs lifted from the floor, most of your body now inside the ship. You didn't think anything of it, though, your focus split between your task and his words. "What makes an achievement the most important? Both medicine and electricity are capable of preserving life, but neither are essential to survival. So, what criteria are we left with?"

You were finally within reach of the last port and pushed the wire into it. "Sounds like you already have the right answer, so why don't you stop teasing me and just say it?" you called up to him.

"I...I didn't mean to sound like I was teasing."

You could hear the apology in his voice, how truly caught off guard he was to hear that you had perceived his attempts at a friendly debate, a conversation, as mocking or disrespectful. Your stomach knotted up in guilt, making your journey to wiggle back out of the wall a little more difficult.

"I'm sorry, Tech," you said through a grunt as you tried to push yourself back. "I didn't mean to sound rude. I just don't know the answer."

You felt his arms snake around your middle, pulling you the last of the way out. You came to rest on your knees, breathing heavily at the sudden increase in air supply. Tech was crouched alongside you, his chest against part of your back, his arms still holding you.

"I honestly don't know the answer, either," he blinked down at you, speaking quietly. "I don't know what criteria would constitute the most important scientific achievement. I thought maybe we could figure it out if we kept discussing it."

You craned your neck around to look at him, unconcerned about the discomfort it took to do so. You needed to face him fully. "Or... maybe we don't need to figure it out? I mean, does there need to be one achievement labeled more important than any other? Can they not all be valued equally?"

"I suppose..." he relented. But only a little. "It is a fun thought exercise, though."

You smiled at that, and it made your heart flutter a little to see him return the expression. There were a few seconds between you where you sat pleasantly in each other's arms... before the realization hit that you were in each other's arms.

"Uh," Tech stuttered first. His eyes looked about frantically as if the more he saw of you practically sitting in his lap, the more he would know what to do about it.

Your face was hot and your heart thumped forcefully in your chest. But you weren't panicking. Even though you'd been around the Bad Batch for a while now, this was the first time you'd gotten physically close to any of them, especially this dorky genius, who made you feel just a little better about life than the others did. You hadn't been sure why, not until this moment, your face being mere inches away from his own. Now it clicked.

His arms had removed themselves from your frame and he was starting to crawl backward on the floor. You quickly grasped his shoulder to stop him.

"Tech, wait."

He froze, looking at you with wide, apprehensive eyes. His shoulder was tense so you relaxed your grasp and simply let your hand rest on it gently. You gave him a small smile. Thankfully these little gestures were enough encouragement for him to lean back to you. He still looked at you timidly, but he wasn't pulling away anymore. It seemed like maybe he had been feeling the same things about you.

"Yes?"

He was waiting for you to make the next move.

"So, this project," you stalled, needing just a little more time to work up the courage. "What is it again? Why did I just crawl into the bowels of the ship?"

Your face was creeping closer to his, breath gently fanning across each other, warm but refreshing.

"I... I..." Tech seemed to be short-circuiting. "I was just, uh, re... redecorating."

Your nose had just brushed his when you suddenly frowned and moved back to look at him questioningly. "Redecorating... wires?"

You were very amused at how flustered he seemed to be in this situation. But then the tables turned as Tech rolled with it.

"Yeah, I didn't like the way they looked in there. Wanted to change things up. You know me."

The smile on our face spread as he talked and you couldn't hold back your laughter any longer. You bent forward, resting your forehead in the crook of his neck while your body convulsed with giggles. Tech laughed along, bringing his arms back around you to hold you in place. When you finally looked up at him and the shit-eating grin he had plastered on his face, you knew you'd finally found your courage.

"Oh, Tech..." you chided, pressing your smiling lips against his own.

[spellbook-gayboy]

Cape-Watch Monthly Bulletin- September 2022

Hey, y’all! I’m your host, Christina Cabello, closing out the month with another Cape-Watch Monthly Bulletin! The start of the fall season is just as busy as any other for our heroes, and the biggest events of the month are shown down below for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

Anyone Catch the Earthquake?

This month’s list begins on quite the weird note. Last week, a massive seismic event in the southern Pacific Ocean rocked residents in Oceania and Southeast Asia. It was a couple of days before a representative from the International Seismological Centre would explain: According to the data they had managed to compile, the event was triggered by something rising out of the water (yes, they used that exact wording). They also determined that the most likely origin was Point Nemo, also known as the furthest point from any major landmass. Surprisingly, information on such a gigantic occurrence was sparse, with not even major world leaders possessing any information even close to substantial. However, the San Diego superhero Magic Man did have an explanation to offer, stating:

‘For reasons I’m not at liberty to discuss, I can’t fully explain what exactly happened at Point Nemo. The long and short of it is someone woke up a god, and I put it back to sleep. And before you ask, yes, it is actually a god, just... not one of ours. I wish I could explain more, but I really can’t.’

Usually, I’d have some witty remark to add or some other statement to make, but I’m afraid not. Honestly, I debated even putting this one to print, but I felt you folks needed to hear about this. If you’re feeling stressed or anxious from this news, I can wholeheartedly suggest that you call the National Distress/Anguish Helpline, either through their website at www.ndahelp.com or through telephone by calling (281) 249-3307. 

Canadian Hero Speaks Out on Systemic Corporate Sexism

Moving on, our next story has quite the message! A little under two weeks ago, the US branch of the superhero megacorporation Capes Incorporated was rocked when one of its newest members, the Ottawa-born crimefighter Knockout, publicly accused shareholders and members of upper management of perpetuating a system of misogyny within the company. According to the claims, which are due to be detailed in a full article coming soon, the female hero was ‘coerced into wearing fake breasts by shareholders and received threats of disciplinary action from upper management when she refused to comply’. While Knockout refused to comment, her fellow Canadian Capes Inc. member Kid Thor had this to say:

‘It’s disgusting, just absolutely disgusting! You’d hope in this day and age that a woman shouldn’t have to suffer through this kind of degrading and unfair treatment, superhero or not. I don’t know what she’ll do next, but if I was her? I’d sue those motherf**kers for every goddamn cent they’re worth! Sorry, it’s just... unbelievable!’

This incident, important though it is, is far from the first time Capes Inc. has been the target of criticism. One of the earliest examples, and by far one of the most egregious, was in 1978. The company was taken to court by Sister Siren, an African American hero and employee, who alleged that she had been fired not for excessive collateral damage as the defendants stated, but due to her marriage to a white co-worker, which could constitute racial discrimination contrary to Loving v Virginia, the Supreme Court ruling that outlaws discrimination based on interracial marriages. After months of heavy legal debate and tens of thousands in legal fees, the company was found to be in violation of the Equal Protection and Due Process Clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution and ended up with a hefty fine of $175,000 (almost $1.5 million in today’s money), as well as being forced to award Sister Siren the severance package she had been denied before. Other incidents have occurred since then, but let this example serve as a reminder of just how shady this company may actually be. Let’s also hope that Knockout can get the justice she so deserves.

Yet Another Alien Invasion

On a much more everyday note, I doubt many of you will be surprised to learn that Earth recently became the target of yet another alien invasion, which thankfully occurred far from any civilization, arriving in the middle of the Rub’ al-Khali desert in Saudi Arabia. The invaders weren’t any of the usual suspects, but instead a mysterious pink humanoid race piloting craft resembling something out of an old science fiction comic. Despite their unassuming appearance, they were still fierce and numerous enough to need the full attention of both the Guardians of the Globe and the local division of Capes Incorporated headquartered in Riyadh. 

While no less dangerous, these aliens are far from the first to try and conquer the world. The first recorded incident in recent history occurred as far back as 1952, when massive insectoid creatures came close to completely destroying the city of Wilmington, Delaware before the original Guardians intervened. A far more subtle attack happened much later in 1978, when many small towns across rural Kansas and Colorado became infested by a race locally known as ‘the body-snatchers’. Finally, it was a little over a year ago that the Flaxans, a highly advanced and extremely invasive race led a brutal invasion that killed hundreds and left thousands more injured, proving more than a match for the Teen Team and only thwarted by the sudden intervention of Omni-Man. Whatever comes next, let’s hope it isn’t as nearly as big, and much more out the way. 

Did Not See That One Coming

Our final story for this month comes yet again from the popular biweekly Twitch broadcast ‘Recipes with Rae’, which sees the titular size-changing heroine prepare all manner of meals ranging from old-timey to otherworldly, often while enjoying the company of other crimefighters. This fortnight’s stream had Shrinking Rae joined by recurring guest and fellow Guardian of the Globe Dupli-Kate as the pair made (or rather, attempted to make) the traditional French dish of ratatouille. 

Things went as they usually did, with witty banter and dirty pots galore. However, things took a turn when Dupli-Kate announced she had to leave for unknown reasons, which resulted in a surprising goodbye kiss that was decidedly not platonic, given a slightly comedic edge when Rae finally realised that their private moment had just been shown to over four million people. Regardless, the heroine took to Twitter to clarify the situation, revealing that the two had in fact been dating for a little under three months before the impromptu reveal, receiving a flood of support from fans and fellow heroes alike. 

This news becomes particularly comedic when remembering that these two aren’t the only members of the Guardians who came out as members of the LGBTQ+ community, as team member Rex Splode also publicly revealed his relationship with the solo hero Invincible during New York Pride, not to mention the status of past members, from War Woman’s open membership in the lesbian community to rumours surrounding founders such as Frontline and The Immortal. This is also the case within the heroines’ immediate families, as Dupli-Kate’s brother and former teen hero Multi-Paul is himself romantically involved with the Californian super Magic Man. While it may seem premature to say, it wouldn’t surprise me if people started taking bets on which Guardian would be the next to leave the closet.

And that’s all, folks! Once again, a big thanks to our readers and donators, as you guys help keep the lights on around here, and we’ll be seeing next time with the October edition of the Cape-Watch Monthly Bulletin! Remember: stay safe, stay hydrated, and tune in next month for more of the biggest superhero stories around!

[deannaroxannewrites]

Tropetember Day 5 - Accidental Confession / In Vino Veritas (Drunk Confession/Drunk Dial)

Unrequited love? Bite me

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x GN!Reader

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries

Rating: Teen and up

TW: Drinking/alcohol, language, vampirism/blood mentions, FWB mention

AN: Day 5 of @tropetember. Not my best work but hope you enjoy. Might rework this slightly at a later point.

A visit to the Salvatores in Mystic Falls should be pretty fun, until Damon decides to drag you to a party the Originals are throwing.

Find this story on Ao3 here.

Word Count: 1.5k

“Damon, you cannot be serious.”

Your best friend just gives you puppy dog eyes. Bright blue and sad as can be. It’s kinda pathetic.

“Pretty please.”

You huff, knowing you won’t win this argument. You’ve known him since you were both children, through him being turned by Katherine and later Stefan turning you (long story), and then on and off in the intervening century and a half. You even had a casual friends with benefits arrangement when you were both lonely/bored. Knowing him so well, you decide to save everyone the time and give in.

“You’re paying for my outfit Damon! I can not believe you’re making me go…”

He scoops you up and spins you, making you squeal as he thanks you. Stefan, who has been observing from the couch being absolutely no help, just laughs.

“You won’t regret it. It’ll be fun and we can learn some things at the same time. We’ll be the most attractive spy duo in history.”

You just roll your eyes and go to grab your keys before stealing Damon’s wallet. If you’re going to have to face the Mikaelsons again, you weren’t doing it in something you’d worn before. And you were going to buy something expensive out of spite.

------------------

The entrance to the Mikaelson’s house was the same as any other house in Mystic Falls: opulent, excessive and with far too much marble. You’d take a cosy cabin over this nonsense any day.

Clinging to Damon's arm, you enter the space and, thankfully, Klaus is the only one of the family greeting guests.

“Darling, it’s been a while.” You can’t help the reactionary smile as you embrace him. He could be bat shit crazy at times, but he’d always been kind to you.

“Klaus! I’ve missed you.” Out of your eye corner, you can see Damon giving you both evil eyes. Had you accidentally on purpose forgotten to mention you knew the original family? Oops, your bad.

Klaus doesn’t let you go far, holding you at arms length to admire your new outfit. You do look stunning in it, if you do say yourself.

“Beautiful.” He leans in to whisper in your ear “My brother really doesn’t realise what he’s missing.”

You laugh him off, ignoring the implication. You knew better.

“Now boys,” you say, glancing between them, “I’ll have no part in whatever this little competition or measuring contest is, and I expect you all to leave me out of it.” They both look a little guilty as they nod. “Marvellous. If you need me, I’ll be somewhere out of the way with a glass of champagne.”

And with that you head further into the party, leaving them to bicker.

-----

"Urgh, I've missed you so much! I can't believe you left us."

You and Rebekah are both waaaay too many glasses of champagne deep at this point. You’d been there a couple of hours by now and it had only taken Rebekah 30mins to realise you were there and take you hostage. You're currently sequestered on a sofa in a corner and are both a bit sloppy.

"What do you want me to say Bekah? It's your arsehole brother's fault."

"Wait, what? What did Klaus do?"

You laugh, just a tad hysterically and fortify yourself with another sip out of your glass.

"Wrong one. Go older"

A look of understanding comes across her face and she wraps an arm around you. You, sadly, don't have enough of your wits about you to realise that this isn't the best place for a drunken heart to heart.

Everything starts to spill out of you. How you and Elijah had spent so much time together. How you thought he liked you back, only for him to turn up with what's her name wrapped around him. How he'd laughed when you'd expressed your surprise that he was dating, and how it made you feel like nothing. It was too much for your heart to handle. So you’d left, had a fun rebound weekend with Damon and tried to move on.

Rebekah pulls back slightly, wiping a tear that had escaped without your permission.

"You're too good for him anyway," she says and you laugh.

"I wish that were true.” You pull yourself together a little and put on your best fake smile. “For now, I'm just going to don an air of indifference and pretend I'm not in love with your oldest brother."

Your mirth leaves you instantly as you hear a refined voice behind you ask, "now why on Earth would you do that?"

It’s amazing how panic can sober you up.

You turn slowly and meet the eyes of the oldest Original. He’s in a suit, as always, and has a confident smirk plastered across his face. That pisses you off.

“Cos he’s an asshole” you coolly reply before turning to Rebekah, pressing a kiss to her cheek and walking swiftly out of the room to find Damon to take you home. You’d embarrassed yourself quite enough for one night.

You’d never admit that you were disappointed that Elijah didn’t try to stop you.

------------

One of the advantages to being a vampire was that you very rarely got a hangover. Instead, you just slept in a little, made a cup of coffee and did some yoga before heading out to treat yourself to lunch. You didn’t need to eat but you enjoyed the taste, there was much more variety in food than blood.

You'd only arrived in Mystic Falls a couple of days ago for your visit to see the Salvatore brothers and as such hadn't had a chance to try out the Mystic Grill. This seemed like a perfect fit opportunity. Something greasy would be perfect right about now.

The grill was a bit dingy but it worked for the place and you were happy to learn that they have a pretty good menu selection. Your excitement was soured though when Elijah decided to join you for lunch.

Dressed in yet another suit, no tie and the top buttons of his shirt undone, he oozes charm and money. Add in the handsome features and knockout smile and you were lost. You're sure back in the day the ladies with delicate constitutions had to keep their smelling salts close. You could easily have fainted over him.

But he wasn't interested in you, as he had made very clear, so you were just annoyed that he was existing in your space.

Elijah watched you eat for a few moments, clearly taking note of your reluctance to acknowledge him.

"For someone who's in love with me, you don't seem particularly happy to see me darling."

You groan quietly and lower your utensils. Wishing him away wasn't working.

"What do you want Elijah?" You sound bitter, even to your own ears. So much for attempting to sound neutral.

"One of my favourite people, who I haven't seen for a long time, has reappeared and I want to spend time with them. Is that too much to ask?"

You start eating again, using it to buy time. You had honestly missed his company. You just weren’t sure if you could bear him breaking your heart again, even accidentally and unintentionally. Luckily, he had more to say.

“Klaus told me off after you left, you know?”

You look at him in surprise.

“Told me that I’d wasted my best opportunity at happiness. Which is especially concerning considering who it was coming from.”

You nod your agreement. Klaus wasn’t exactly known for his sentimentality.

He continues, “would you believe that I really thought you were too good for me? That I really thought you weren’t interested?”

“Elijah, you can not be serious.” You pull a face at him. “I literally spent all of my time with you, hanging on your every word. I would have followed you to the ends of the Earth. How could you not have known?”

“I just thought you were being your usual effervescent self. I started dating again to try and let you go.”

Miscommunication. You shake your head. 30 years of heartbreak all because of miscommunication. God, you could bang the pair of your heads together. It’s basically a crappy romance novel. Ok, this is ok. You can fix this. You have pretty much forever left, after all.

Taking the initiative, you lean forward and grasp Elijah’s hand. His eyes fall to where you wrap your fingers around his. A hopeful look takes over his face as he returns to your eyes.

“Elijah?” You smile. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

He laughs. It’s a beautiful sound. You’re going to make it your personal mission to make him do it more often.

Lifting your knuckles to his lips, he places a gentle kiss on them.

“I can think of nothing else I’d rather do.”

[mostlysignssomeportents]

If You Build It, They Will Come: Apple Has Opened the Backdoor to Increased Surveillance and Censorship Around the World

Kurt Opsahl, EFF:

Apple’s new program for scanning images sent on iMessage steps back from the company’s prior support for the privacy and security of encrypted messages. The program, initially limited to the United States, narrows the understanding of end-to-end encryption to allow for client-side scanning. While Apple aims at the scourge of child exploitation and abuse, the company has created an infrastructure that is all too easy to redirect to greater surveillance and censorship. The program will undermine Apple’s defense that it can’t comply with the broader demands.

For years, countries around the world have asked for access to and control over encrypted messages, asking technology companies to “nerd harder” when faced with the pushback that access to messages in the clear was incompatible with strong encryption. The Apple child safety message scanning program is currently being rolled out only in the United States.

The United States has not been shy about seeking access to encrypted communications, pressuring the companies to make it easier to obtain data with warrants and to voluntarily turn over data. However, the U.S. faces serious constitutional issues if it wanted to pass a law that required warrantless screening and reporting of content. Even if conducted by a private party, a search ordered by the government is subject to the Fourth Amendment’s protections. Any “warrant” issued for suspicionless mass surveillance would be an unconstitutional general warrant. As the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has explained, "Search warrants . . . are fundamentally offensive to the underlying principles of the Fourth Amendment when they are so bountiful and expansive in their language that they constitute a virtual, all-encompassing dragnet[.]" With this new program, Apple has failed to hold a strong policy line against U.S. laws undermining encryption, but there remains a constitutional backstop to some of the worst excesses. But U.S constitutional protection may not necessarily be replicated in every country.

Apple is a global company, with phones and computers in use all over the world, and many governments pressure that comes along with that. Apple has promised it will refuse government “demands to build and deploy government-mandated changes that degrade the privacy of users.” It is good that Apple says it will not, but this is not nearly as strong a protection as saying it cannot, which could not honestly be said about any system of this type. Moreover, if it implements this change, Apple will need to not just fight for privacy, but win in legislatures and courts around the world. To keep its promise, Apple will have to resist the pressure to expand the iMessage scanning program to new countries, to scan for new types of content and to report outside parent-child relationships.  

It is no surprise that authoritarian countries demand companies provide access and control to encrypted messages, often the last best hope for dissidents to organize and communicate. For example, Citizen Lab’s research shows that—right now—China’s unencrypted WeChat service already surveils images and files shared by users, and uses them to train censorship algorithms. “When a message is sent from one WeChat user to another, it passes through a server managed by Tencent (WeChat’s parent company) that detects if the message includes blacklisted keywords before a message is sent to the recipient.” As the Stanford Internet Observatory’s Riana Pfefferkorn explains, this type of technology is a roadmap showing “how a client-side scanning system originally built only for CSAM [Child Sexual Abuse Material] could and would be suborned for censorship and political persecution.” As Apple has found, China, with the world’s biggest market, can be hard to refuse. Other countries are not shy about applying extreme pressure on companies, including arresting local employees of the tech companies.

But many times potent pressure to access encrypted data also comes from democratic countries that strive to uphold the rule of law, at least at first. If companies fail to hold the line in such countries, the changes made to undermine encryption can easily be replicated by countries with weaker democratic institutions and poor human rights records—often using similar legal language, but with different ideas about public order and state security, as well as what constitutes impermissible content, from obscenity to indecency to political speech. This is very dangerous. These countries, with poor human rights records, will nevertheless contend that they are no different. They are sovereign nations, and will see their public-order needs as equally urgent. They will contend that if Apple is providing access to any nation-state under that state’s local laws, Apple must also provide access to other countries, at least, under the same terms.

'Five Eyes' Countries Will Seek to Scan Messages

For example, the Five Eyes—an alliance of the intelligence services of Canada, New Zealand, Australia, the United Kingdom, and the United States—warned in 2018 that they will “pursue technological, enforcement, legislative or other measures to achieve lawful access solutions” if the companies didn’t voluntarily provide access to encrypted messages. More recently, the Five Eyes have pivoted from terrorism to the prevention of CSAM as the justification, but the demand for unencrypted access remains the same, and the Five Eyes are unlikely to be satisfied without changes to assist terrorism and criminal investigations too.

The United Kingdom’s Investigatory Powers Act, following through on the Five Eyes’ threat, allows their Secretary of State to issue “technical capacity notices,” which oblige telecommunications operators to make the technical ability of “providing assistance in giving effect to an interception warrant, equipment interference warrant, or a warrant or authorisation for obtaining communications data.” As the UK Parliament considered the IPA, we warned that a “company could be compelled to distribute an update in order to facilitate the execution of an equipment interference warrant, and ordered to refrain from notifying their customers.”

Under the IPA, the Secretary of State must consider “the technical feasibility of complying with the notice.” But the infrastructure needed to roll out Apple’s proposed changes makes it harder to say that additional surveillance is not technically feasible. With Apple’s new program, we worry that the UK might try to compel an update that would expand the current functionality of the iMessage scanning program, with different algorithmic targets and wider reporting. As the iMessage “communication safety” feature is entirely Apple’s own invention, Apple can all too easily change its own criteria for what will be flagged for reporting. Apple may receive an order to adopt its hash matching program for iPhoto into the message pre-screening. Likewise, the criteria for which accounts will apply this scanning, and where positive hits get reported, are wholly within Apple’s control.

Australia followed suit with its Assistance and Access Act, which likewise allows for requirements to provide technical assistance and capabilities, with the disturbing potential to undermine encryption. While the Act contains some safeguards, a coalition of civil society organizations, tech companies, and trade associations, including EFF and—wait for it—Apple, explained that they were insufficient.

Indeed, in Apple’s own submission to the Australian government, Apple warned “the government may seek to compel providers to install or test software or equipment, facilitate access to customer equipment, turn over source code, remove forms of electronic protection, modify characteristics of a service, or substitute a service, among other things.” If only Apple would remember that these very techniques could also be used in an attempt to mandate or change the scope of Apple’s scanning program.

While Canada has yet to adopt an explicit requirement for plain text access, the Canadian government is actively pursuing filtering obligations for various online platforms, which raise the spectre of a more aggressive set of obligations targeting private messaging applications.

Censorship Regimes Are In Place And Ready to Go

For the Five Eyes, the ask is mostly for surveillance capabilities, but India and Indonesia are already down the slippery slope to content censorship. The Indian government’s new Intermediary Guidelines and Digital Media Ethics Code (“2021 Rules”), in effect earlier this year, directly imposes dangerous requirements for platforms to pre-screen content. Rule 4(4) compels content filtering, requiring that providers “endeavor to deploy technology-based measures,” including automated tools or other mechanisms, to “proactively identify information” that has been forbidden under the Rules.

India’s defense of the 2021 rules, written in response to the criticism from three UN Special Rapporteurs, was to highlight the very real dangers to children, and skips over the much broader mandate of the scanning and censorship rules. The 2021 Rules impose proactive and automatic enforcement of its content takedown provisions, requiring the proactive blocking of material previously held to be forbidden under Indian law. These laws broadly include those protecting “the sovereignty and integrity of India; security of the State; friendly relations with foreign States; public order; decency or morality.” This is no hypothetical slippery slope—it’s not hard to see how this language could be dangerous to freedom of expression and political dissent. Indeed, India’s track record on its Unlawful Activities Prevention Act, which has reportedly been used to arrest academics, writers and poets for leading rallies and posting political messages on social media, highlight this danger.

It would be no surprise if India claimed that Apple’s scanning program was a great start towards compliance, with a few more tweaks needed to address the 2021 Rules’ wider mandate. Apple has promised to protest any expansion, and could argue in court, as WhatsApp and others have, that the 2021 Rules should be struck down, or that Apple does not fit the definition of a social media intermediary regulated under these 2021 Rules. But the Indian rules illustrate both the governmental desire and the legal backing for pre-screening encrypted content, and Apple’s changes makes it all the easier to slip into this dystopia.

This is, unfortunately, an ever-growing trend. Indonesia, too, has adopted Ministerial Regulation MR5 to require service providers (including “instant messaging” providers) to “ensure” that their system “does not contain any prohibited [information]; and [...] does not facilitate the dissemination of prohibited [information]”. MR5 defines prohibited information as anything that violates any provision of Indonesia’s laws and regulations, or creates “community anxiety” or “disturbance in public order.” MR5 also imposes disproportionate sanctions, including a general blocking of systems for those who fail to ensure there is no prohibited content and information in their systems. Indonesia may also see the iMessage scanning functionality as a tool for compliance with Regulation MR5, and pressure Apple to adopt a broader and more invasive version in their country.

Pressure Will Grow

The pressure to expand Apple’s program to more countries and more types of content will only continue. In fall of 2020, in the European Union, a series of leaked documents from the European Commission foreshadowed an anti-encryption law to the European Parliament, perhaps this year. Fortunately, there is a backstop in the EU. Under the e-commerce directive, EU Member States are not allowed to impose a general obligation to monitor the information that users transmit or store, as stated in the Article 15 of the e-Commerce Directive (2000/31/EC). Indeed, the Court of Justice of the European Union (CJEU) has stated explicitly that intermediaries may not be obliged to monitor their services in a general manner in order to detect and prevent illegal activity of their users. Such an obligation will be incompatible with fairness and proportionality. Despite this, in a leaked internal document published by Politico, the European Commission committed itself to an action plan for mandatory detection of CSAM by relevant online service providers (expected in December 2021) that pointed to client-side scanning as the solution, which can potentially apply to secure private messaging apps, and seizing upon the notion that it preserves the protection of end-to-end encryption.

For governmental policymakers who have been urging companies to nerd harder, wordsmithing harder is just as good. The end result of access to unencrypted communication is the goal, and if that can be achieved in a way that arguably leaves a more narrowly defined end-to-end encryption in place, all the better for them.

All it would take to widen the narrow backdoor that Apple is building is an expansion of the machine learning parameters to look for additional types of content, the adoption of the iPhoto hash matching to iMessage, or a tweak of the configuration flags to scan, not just children’s, but anyone’s accounts. Apple has a fully built system just waiting for external pressure to make the necessary changes. China and doubtless other countries already have hashes and content classifiers to identify messages impermissible under their laws, even if they are protected by international human rights law. The abuse cases are easy to imagine: governments that outlaw homosexuality might require a classifier to be trained to restrict apparent LGBTQ+ content, or an authoritarian regime might demand a classifier able to spot popular satirical images or protest flyers.

Now that Apple has built it, they will come. With good intentions, Apple has ​​paved the road to mandated security weakness around the world, enabling and reinforcing the arguments that, should the intentions be good enough, scanning through your personal life and private communications is acceptable. We urge Apple to reconsider and return to the mantra Apple so memorably emblazoned on a billboard at 2019’s CES conference in Las Vegas: What happens on your iPhone, stays on your iPhone.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/if-you-build-it-they-will-come-apple-has-opened-backdoor-increased-surveillance

[persepholline]

I've read that article about the romanticization of the Darkling and while I absolutely understand people who are pissed off/sad and I agree that it's shitty, I find LB's attitude towards Darkles stans very funny in a "girl what are you doing" sort of way because it's so petty like I've never heard of a bestselling author writing a portion of their fans into their books as a crazy cult before, it clearly hit a nerve

I'm new to the fandom but the feeling I get is she wrote something problematic ten years ago and became very embarrassed about it afterwards so she turned on the fans that liked it as a way to absolve herself. Especially since fandoms in general have become a lot more focused on discussion of what constitutes healthy/acceptable relationships to write about. And in a way I get it I had a huge Twilight phase in high school and afterwards I was super embarassed about it because of how problematic and cringe it was. But now with distance and more maturity I'm able to both still see why it was problematic and also why I was drawn to it (mostly the very unhinged representation of female desire) and like...it's really not the end of the world and no it never made me believe that breaking into somebody's room at night to watch them sleep was actually ok in real life lmao. This feels so obvious to me but apparently it needs to be said.

(More under the break this is turning into an essay, I've been thinking of this a lot recently)

And of course it's good to have these discussions about how historically romance tropes have echoed social dynamics of men's shitty behavior being romanticized and excused. But these days they often are so simplistic and focused on chasing clout that they become this weird new puritanism and moral panic about oh now women are reading novels it's going to make them hysterical or something

So you have these weird assumptions that you can't like a character and also be critical of their actions, or enjoy certain parts of a character and not others, or wish they were written differently and like them more for their potential (which I'm sure stings a bit for an author lol) - it assumes that if you like a character it means you would approve of their actions in real life, or that people just stupidly reproduce whatever they see on TV. That tendency to treat fictional characters like real people is the thing that actually worries me, to be honest, because it indicates a lack of distance and critical capacities regarding how stories are used and received. But people - fans and authors - are so scared of being called out as problematic and harassed for it that they're going to shy away from any nuance.

And yeah I think that it's good that standards of what constitutes an ideal relationship are evolving and becoming more feminist and communicative and all that and we definitely need more of that. But not all fiction has to be aspirational! Sometimes you just want to read about fucked up shit, because it's cathartic or fascinating, even healing at times because with fiction you are absolutely in control and can choose when to close the book. Toxic relationships in fiction can have an appeal specifically because they go to extremes of feeling that we don't want to go to in reality, in exactly the same way as horror movies or very violent action movies - which I don't see a lot of people besides fundamentalist Christians argue that they turn you into violent psychopaths (and that feels very obviously sexist). And for women, who are often taught growing up that love is the purpose of life, the "saving someone with your ability to love" can be a power fantasy in the same way that being a buff superhero who saves the day with their capacity for incredible violence can be a power fantasy for men. Still doesn't mean those women are going to fall in love with actual murderers or that those men are going to start beating up people at night. And love is scary, and weird, and weirdly close to horror at times, with all the potential for loss of self and being vulnerable and overwhelming feelings and potential for being horribly hurt and it should be possible for stories to explore that without anybody screaming about how this is going to Corrupt the Youth or something

And I mean I get it LB wanted to write a cautionary tale for teenagers, but it just did not work for reasons a lot of people have already written about - the fact that the Darkling is the leader of an oppressed minority and is the only one with a real political agenda to end that oppression in the first trilogy, the fact that he helps Alina come into her own power while her endgame LI is someone she keeps herself small for, that she's shamed for wanting power after growing up without any, a generally very wonky conception of privilege, and a lot of other stuff with yucky regressive implications to the point where stanning the villain actually feels liberating and empowering which is a surefire sign that the narrative is broken (unless it's a villain focused story lmao). But of course that Fanside article makes almost no mention of the political dynamics, it's all about interpersonal stuff which is an annoying trend in YA, there are those massive events happening in the background but it's made all about the feelings of the hero(ine) ; war as a self-development quest (which is kind of gross). Helnik is kind of an example of this too - I like them, I think they're fun ! But Matthias spends a big part of the story wanting to brutally murder Nina and her kind, and he mostly changes his mind because he finds her hot. Like you don't feel there is some sort of big revelation that his entire moral system and political framework is completely rotten ; it's all better because of feelings now.

As a teenager that kind of sanctimonious bullshit would have annoyed the hell out of me ; I read those books in my early twenties and I found the ending so stupid I wouldn't have trusted any message or life lessons coming from them. And I liked reading/watching dark stuff as a teenager, as a way to deal with the very intense inner turmoil I was dealing with - and I turned out fine ! Meanwhile I've seen several times women in very shitty relationships being obsessed with positive energies and stories ; they were so terrified of their life not being perfectly wholesome they ended up being delusional about their own situations.

Like personally I think the Darkling is a compelling, interesting, alluring character and also a manipulative, murderous piece of shit and that Alina should get to punish him (like in a sexy way) - but he's also the end result of centuries of war, oppression and trauma and reducing that to "toxic wounded boy" feels kind of offensive ngl ESPECIALLY since the books don't offer any kind of systemic analysis or response to oppression beyond "the bad guy should die" and "now the king/queen is a good guy our problems are solved!!!!"

In Lives of the Saints, we see how Yuri is abused extremely badly and almost killed by his father, and so when his father dies when the Fold swallows Novokribirsk, he thinks the Starless Saint has saved him. Later in KoS/RoW he's turned into this fanatic who explains away all the Darkling's crimes. The other followers talk about how the Starless Saint will bring equality for all men. Then the Darkling comes back and actually thinks his followers are pathetic, which feels again like a very pointed message to his IRL stans. Which is absolutely hilarious to me. Like oh no, if he was real he would not like you and think you're pathetic ! Yeah ...but he's not. Real. Damn right he would not like the fics where Alina puts him on a leash. I'm still going to read them. What is he going to do about it, jump out of the page ? Jfjfjjdhfgfjfj

Anyway I think the intended message is "assholes will use noble political causes for their own gain and to manipulate people" and "being abused/oppressed is not an excuse to behave badly." Which. Sure. But that's kind of like...a tired take, honestly ? A big number of villains nowadays are like this ; either they've been bullied as kids, or they're part of an oppressed group, or they have "good ideals but too extreme". This is not surprising because a lot of mainstream heroic narratives present clinging to the status quo as Good and change as chaotic and dangerous. And like sure in real life people often do bad shit because they're wounded and in danger. But if you want to do a story like that, you have to do it with nuance, talk about cycles of violence, about how society creates vulnerable people to be exploited, about how privilege gives you more choices and the luxury of morals, etc. The Grishaverse does not have this level of nuance (maybe in SoC a little bit but definitely not in TGT). So it kind of comes off as "trauma makes you evil" and "egalitarianism is dangerous" and "if you're abused/oppressed you're not allowed to fight back". And ignores the fact that historically, evil generally comes from unchecked privilege.

I guess my point is that there are many things I like about LB's writing, she knows how to create these really exciting character dynamics, and the world she has created is fascinating. But these stories are not a great starting point for imparting moral lessons. And her best characters tend to be, at least in canon, the morally grey ones. I hope one day she'll be at peace with the fact that she wrote the Darkling the way she did and leave his fans alone but in the meantime I'm just not going to take this whole thing seriously I'm sorry

[kuroopaisen]

cause & effect || chapter 3

➵ your work friend, kuroo, has a tiny favour to ask. to say you’re surprised is an understatement. 

warnings: f!reader, alcohol

wc: 1.4k

m.list | ch. 2 ↞ ch. 3 ↠ ch. 4

“Okay, so,” you sigh, slamming your pint down on the bar. Kuroo barely flinches. “What do I actually have to do?”

It’s been a few days since Kuroo asked you for that favour. A few days over which you could’ve reconsidered. Thought about how ludicrous it was. But, you’re still willing to do it, for whatever godforsaken reason.

But as you sit in the local bar, a frequent Saturday night haunt for the two of you, your doubts are bubbling back up. They have been over the last few days. Would you be able to pull this off? Would you make a mess of everything? Would his family figure it out immediately? What would the consequences of that even be?

“Just pretend that you like me,” he shrugs, grinning at you. “That shouldn’t be too hard for you.”

You’re not sure if that’s an insult, a flirt, or both. You shoot him a look. “I’m going to need to polish my acting skills.”

Kuroo places a hand on his chest, eyebrows raised in mock offense.

You smile, shaking your head. “Okay, so I’ve got to pretend like I’m into you. For how long?”

“Just the holiday period,” he says, taking a sip of his beer. “Then you’re free to go.”

“Am I… spending Christmas with your family?” You ask. It’s not the biggest deal, but it’s something you’d need to warn your own family about.

Kuroo shakes his head. “Not the day. Just a couple of dinners, a couple of get-togethers, so that they get off my back for a while.”

You bite your lip. It’s not a massive ask, but it still feels… wrong. Like you’re lying to people. Well, you are, but it’s supposedly for a good cause. But your slightly tipsy brain is having a hard time justifying it to yourself. Why’d you always have to get so damn preachy when you’d had a bit to drink?

“You okay?” He asks, tilting his head at you. There’s genuine concern in his eyes. You don’t know why that surprises you.

“It’s just…” You take a deep breath, clenching your fists in your lap. “Isn’t it a bit unethical?” You’d said that a few days ago.

Kuroo sighs. “Yeah, it is.”          

You stare at him with wide eyes. You’d expected him to defend himself, but no. He’s being straightforward.

He holds his hands out in front of him, his brow slightly burrowed. “Think of it as the lesser of two evils.”

“What do you mean?”

“Either we do this unethical little fake-dating thing and make my family happy because of something that’s not real, or I let them down once again, and make their holiday season more stressful.”

“And… pretending you have a girlfriend is the lesser of two evils?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “It might not be real, but it’ll make them happy for a few weeks.”

“You really are a con-man,” you scoff, shaking your head.

“Now that’s just uncalled for,” he chuckled. “But, I get it. And if you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to.”

He’s said that a lot. But you’ve never taken the out.

“I’m happy to do it,” you say slowly, carefully. Were you stupid? Why weren’t you running at every opportunity?

Relief floods his face and he smiles. It’s a relaxed kind of smile, one that’s flattered by the dim lights of the bar. You don’t let yourself look at it too long, lest your tipsy mind goes somewhere it shouldn’t.

“Okay, well next order of business,” he hums, turning to face you more directly. “We need to establish some boundaries.”

You blink at him. “Boundaries?” It felt a bit like you were finding out the hidden clauses of a contract after you’d signed it.

“I don’t want to do anything that’ll make you uncomfortable,” he begins, each word slow and methodical. He doesn’t usually speak like this. That’s worrying.

“Right,” you nod.

“But we’ve got to make this look real, right?” He says, the slightest of flush in his cheeks. You can’t tell if it’s because of what he’s just said or if the beer is finally kicking in.

Shit. You hadn’t thought of that.

“So…” He clears his throat, averting his gaze. You do the same. “What aren’t you comfortable with?”

You pause on that question, biting your lip. “Uh… I mean… I guess don’t do anything that you wouldn’t do in front of your family anyway.”

“Right…” He nods slowly. “Is there… anything else?”

“I… I guess you can hold my hand?” You offer, shrugging. Honestly, it’s been a while since you’ve dated anyone. What did casual affection even look like.

Kuroo looks at you with the same expression he has when on the phone to a particularly difficult customer.

“What’s wrong?” You have half a mind to put your hand on his shoulder, but you stop yourself.

“Can I kiss your cheek?” He says it so quickly it’s basically one word.

“If you need to?” You can’t believe this is a real conversation you’re having.

“Right,” he nods, turning his attention back to his pint. At least he’s just as embarrassed as you were.

You don’t know what to say now. You’re just sitting next to him at the bar, confused about what the fuck is going on. You’d agreed to this time and time again, but you’re still not totally sure if this is the right thing to do. But it was too late to change your mind now.

“By the way,” he says, clearing his throat. “If you ever want or need to back out, you absolutely have the right to.”

You nod. It’s like he read your mind. It makes you feel at least a little better, all things considered.

“Thank you,” you murmur, unsure of what else to say.

He nods in response, taking another sip of his beer. God, this was awkward.

You watch him for a moment, a new concern brewing in the back of your mind. “Hey, Kuroo?”

“Hm?”

“If we’re going to convince your family this is real, we’ll actually need to get to know each other, right?” It feels stupid to say it, but that feels like an essential flaw in his plan. “Like, as a couple would know each other. Not… not work colleagues.”

He thinks it over for a moment, a frown deepening on his face. “You know what? My family is pretty perceptive.”

“I figured,” you smile. You’re not sure if any other kind of person could’ve raised the man sitting next to you.

“Right,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. It’s a little more ruffled than usual – his entire demeanour is, actually. He’s always got a laidback vibe, but Kuroo on a Saturday night had a certain laissez-faire that you still aren’t used to. But you’ll have to.

“What’s the plan?” You ask, propping your chin on your hand.

“We could fill out questionnaires and give them to each other,” he shrugs.

You snort. “What, and study them?”

“I guess?”

“Is your family going to put me through a pop quiz?”

“They might just,” he chuckles.

You roll your eyes. Bless that, but you’re not going to sit there and memorise facts about this man like you would for a geography exam. “Or, maybe we should just go on actual ‘fake dates’.”

He blinks at you for a moment, his cheeks growing slightly darker. “Actual fake dates?”

Admittedly, you’re not quite sure what separates a ‘fake’ date from a real one. How you and Kuroo going out together would constitute one and not the other.

“What I mean is,” you clear your throat, trying to backtrack, “we should just hang out a bit more before I meet your family.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” he nods. “If you’re comfortable with that.”

“Well, I’m the one who suggested it,” you smile. His concern for your comfort and wellbeing is endearing, if nothing else.

“Alright,” he nods. “Well… I’ve got your number.”

“That you do.”

“And… I’ll text you,” he says, slightly more confident than he was a couple of minutes ago. “And we’ll organise something.”

“Just make sure it’s fun,” you grin.

He scoffs, shaking his head. “I’m offended you think I’d propose anything less.”

“Sorry,” you roll your eyes, but the tension in your chest is easing. “I’m expecting big things.”

“Don’t forget I’m in a wage job,” he grins, tapping his glass. “I can only afford one of these tonight.”

“Is this you letting me know that you won’t pay for my dinner?” You run a hand through your hair, smiling.

“I’ll keep it a surprise,” he smiles, stretching his arms over his head. “Just don’t get your hopes up.”

That feels more like a warning than it should. “I’ll do my best.”

[cayofdreams]

Vengeance = Repentance

PART 1: VENGEANCE

Summary: Reader had bullied Todoroki throughout all his time in high school. Years later, after a reconnection during an after-work drinking session, she goes back to his place, naively unaware of the payback he has planned for her…

Words: 4.1k

Rating: Explicit, Smut (in part 2)

Warnings: bullying by reader in beginning, murderous thoughts by Todoroki, Dark!Todoroki, drugging

(no smut in the first part, just immense build-up)

Notes: I could not for the life of me think of an interesting Todo fic to write. Until...THIS baby popped into my mind. It was actually really challenging and fun to write what goes on in the mind of Dark!Todoroki. I hope I did it justice.

~~~

He hated you.

Sometimes the only reason he had for living was simply to see the day that you’d be six feet under a cold batch of dirt. You’d be all alone down there with no one to control. No one to manipulate. No one to blackmail or threaten.

You’d have no lackey to run around and get you sweet bread from the convenience store. No lookout to make sure any teachers came to catch the abominable acts you committed in the bathroom stall or behind the gymnasium. No rich father to make sure that whatever horrible deeds you committed that were reported were swept gracefully under a rug.

And most importantly, you wouldn’t have him. The target of all your psychological and physical abuse. The one person who constantly fulfilled your insatiably engorged sadistic ego.

“Heyyy~ Shou, can you come here for a sec?” You had called out to your bi-colored haired classmate from the threshold of the class’ door. The twitch in his shoulders in reaction to your voice made you chuckle. Todoroki slowly slid his chair back, making a scratching noise against the tiled floor, and got up. He walked up towards you with his eyes trailing the floor.

“Yes?”

“Ohh! So obedient today, aren’t we? Hehe- It was only a matter of time I suppose.” You smiled your disgustingly innocent smile at him. “I need you to check something for me. It’s important, okay?”

He stayed silent as he watched you move the hand that was behind your back out forward. You had a carton of milk in your hand, and it seemed to have already been open. He saw you put the carton to your nose and sniff harshly from where the opening was before shoving the carton into his chest. A bit of milk spilled out and dripped onto his uniform.

“This milk. It smells kinda funky. I want you to check it for me.”

“…If it smells funny then it’s probably-“

“Did I ask for your cheap opinion? Just do the favor, alright?” You frustratingly squeezed the carton in your hand which made even more milk spurt out and land on your hand as well as Todoroki’s uniform again. “Ugh! Shit! Look what you made me do! From being so obstinate.”

“Sorry…” He took the carton from your hand. It was practically half full now so he wondered why you even still cared so much. But he didn’t ask. He put the carton to his nose and sniffed to try and find a rotten smell to it. “I don’t smell anything.”

“Are you stupid? Not like that, idiot. You’ll never know if its bad if you check like that.” You quickly took the milk from him and raised it in the air. “You have to check like this~” You began to slowly pour the rest of the carton’s contents onto his head, completely soaking his silky hair and ruining his uniform even more. The milk drenched into his shirt and he could feel its cool wetness trickle his skin. “Ahaha! Weeell?? Is it bad or not, Shouutoo??”

There was a loud commotion of hoots and hollers from the other classmates as they watched your tormenting of Todoroki.

“Uwaah!! Milk boy got dunked on again!!”

“Gross! He’s gonna smell so bad later…”

“Dude! Go wash up! You’re gonna make the whole class smell like milk!”

“Krrgh..” Todoroki choked up in frustration, his hands balled into a fist. The fact he couldn’t just punch you right now could drive him to a point of enraged insanity.

The fact he had to let you get away with this over and over again just because of your father’s notorious connections with various government and business groups. He sometimes thought about just killing you anyway and dealing with the consequences. Prison would be more manageable than continuing to live in this same physical plane as you.

He thought about how he’d do it, too. If he would try to do it inconspicuously with poison, or conspicuously with his hands wrapped around your slender little throat. The former lead to more chances of him getting away with it. He could have the pleasure of your death along with his freedom. But the latter…the latter was just too enticing to pass up. Being able to hear your gargled whimpers attempting to beg for your life. Your legs that would try to kick and pry him off your weak body. Your face losing its color as your body is abruptly deprived of oxygen. And finally, his personal favorite, your bloodshot eyes that would be pleading for him to give you mercy before finally greying out.

Yes…the latter would have to do. Time in prison would be a beautiful cost to pay to see you perish under his fingers. The world would thank him later, for getting rid of their waste. Your death would serve as your repentance

But he was weak. Scared. He couldn’t find the conviction he needed to actually go through with it. It made him feel even worse. Maybe you were never wrong, and he was truly as spineless as you treated him.

But he’d get stronger. He had to. He needed to. He craved to.

-------------------------9 YEARS LATER-------------------------

“Good job on closing the deal, Todo!”

Todoroki had felt a harsh pat on his back before a heavy arm was slung over his shoulder by his spikey red haired coworker as he was grabbing his blazer off the chair.

“It was nothing, Kirishima.” He replied coolly but not without a small twinge of a smile.

“Ha! ‘It was nothing’ he says!” The energetic man turned his head around to face everyone else in the office. “Hey! Everyone! Pay attention to this guy right here! You might become the most successful businessman this country has to offer!”

The office chuckled and gave soft cheers for Todoroki, some of them poking fun at Kirishima’s exuberant display of comradery.

“Todo! Kiri! You guys are coming out for drinks, right!” Another one of Todoroki’s energetic co-workers, this time with bright yellow hair, briskly jogged up towards them. “I already invited the ladies!”

“Totally, dude! Where are we supposed to be going?”

“Heights Alliance! That bar has the best drinks and food a guy could ask for. Not to mention cute girls!

Todoroki softly brushed off the arm of Kirishima before putting his jacket on. “I think I’ll pass.”

“Aw! Come on dude!” This time, the yellow-haired co-worker placing his arm around Todoroki’s shoulder. “You alllways bail on us! Come with us this time! Drinks on Kiri!”

“Hey, Kaminari! Don’t decide that for yourself!” Kirishima retorted. “But yeah, man. You should come out. We miss you sometimes, dude.”

Todoroki hesitated as he contemplated his fellow workers’ requests. Honestly, he had never gone out to just...have fun. He would clog his mind with work which was probably why he was successful anyways. He didn’t even know why he was so disciplined when it came to his career. Not knowing what his goals even were. Focusing primarily on work, but for what? To just deny any moments of pleasure or belonging?

Maybe it was time for a change.

“…Alright.”

“Wooo!!! Todo is officially on board!”

The loudness of the cheers of his coworkers rang stingingly through his eardrums but he couldn’t suppress the smile that stemmed on his face.

As he had the feeling tonight would be an unforgettable night.

-------------------------------------------------

Todoroki sighed as he sipped the last of his drink and placed it softly on the counter in front of him. He sat alone as he thought about what he was even doing there. The entire evening basically constituting to watching his co-workers ramble on about various subjects that he could not get the meaning behind. After a while of heavy drinking, that he did not participate in, everyone either went bar-hopping or went home passed out in a taxi. He truly did not understand the purpose of such gatherings and he started to wonder how he’d even fit into society.  

As he thought to himself, the sudden words from the bartender disrupted his thoughts.

“Oh hey, Y/N. Long time, no see.”

The abrupt sound of your name made him widen his eyes and his body unconsciously jolt in the barstool. Was it really the same Y/N? No, it couldn’t be. Surely there were a bountiful amount of people with names that were similar to yours. But he had to check for himself, so he looked up from his empty glass and-

“Haha…Shinsou. Looking as gorgeously sleepy as ever. How are you?”

The sounds of your conversation with the bartender drowned out with the rest of the bustled atmosphere as he glared upon you. Without a doubt, it was you. He could never forget that figure. That figure that towered over him menacingly even though he was taller than you. That figure that just watched from a distance as you sent your delinquent underlings to pummel him into the cold cement. That figure who would bow respectfully to teachers when they dismissed any reports of your lechery. And now that same figure was only a few feet away from him, sitting gracefully at the bar counter as you talked to the unknowing bartender.

His glare locked long enough onto your figure for you to finally meet his eyes. And before he could look away, you had called out to him.

“Eh..? To…Todoroki?” You had softly called out to him. Using his name in a way that he had never heard from you before. Using a voice that harshly contradicted the patronizing tone you barked commands at him with. “It’s really you, isn’t it?”. You were smiling at him. Smiling at him as if he were a longtime friend that you missed connections with due to one of you going abroad.

You had hopped out of the barstool and approached your old classmate, taking a new seat beside him. He looked over at the wall of drinks displayed in front him, avoiding your gazing. “Wow…you’re all grown up now, huh?” You looked over to the bartender raising your hand at him. “Shinsou~ A refill on whatever he had, okay? Make it two actually.” The bartender simply nodded at you before mixing up various alcohol and flavors behind the counter.

“I..I don’t want to drink.” Todoroki shivered at his own statement as he was reminded of the times you’d scream at him for not doing something you’d ask.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous. It’s on me, okay? Don’t worry about it.” You had inched your head more over the counter trying to get a better look at him. “Your hair…I always thought it was dyed. But I guess its real, huh.” You reached your hand out to run your fingertips through his silky bi-colored bangs. He twitched at your touch.

What exactly were you doing? Acting so innocent with him like this. Were you just going to pretend like the three-year long trauma you subjected him to was a fable? An illusion? Or perhaps you had minimized the damage you’d done in your mind in order to preserve your own sanity as you took over a new life.

“...Y/N. What are you doing?”

You quirked your eyebrows in confusion at his question. “What do you mean? I just…I just think your hair is really pretty is all.”

Were you faking it? Was this another one of your atrocious jokes? Perhaps within the next minute you’d start cackling at him, asking him how he could be stupid enough to believe he deserved such niceties from the likes of you.

Todoroki looked down and squeezed the empty glass on the counter. “Don’t you…don’t you remember? What you did to me?”

“Todoroki…” You lowered your eyebrows in sorrow. “I-I’m sorry for what I did to you back then. I was indeed…a cruel person. I know you probably won’t accept that…but I still want to tell you. You at least deserve my apology. As cheap as it is.”

He looked over to you, surprised at your apologetic tone. He gazed into your e/c eyes. The very e/c eyes that captured the hearts of everyone around you, yet seethed supremacy and calamity toward him. He had learned to distrust anyone with eyes that resembled yours. The eyes that were now looking at him with…

Remorse. Your eyes were burdening in remorse. As soon as Todoroki saw the guilt that dwelled in your eyes he knew that this wasn’t a joke. That you weren’t pretending to feel these things. The look in your eyes unquestionably conveyed the apology you had stated earlier.

And it was that same look that would ascend an unusual beast that lurked within the visceral regions of his body. An unfamiliar thirst that stayed submerged within him, never needing to be satisfied until now. It gurgled within the depths of his gut, practically wanting to vomit out of his esophagus.

A beast that went by the name of revenge. And it would be so easy to pursue it right now with the plague of repentance beating in your heart.

Todoroki placed one of his hands on yours and squeezed tightly. Your skin was so soft, so smooth. He could never take the time to feel how delicate your skin was when the only touch of yours he knew before was the stinging slaps you’d deliver on his face. But tonight, he’d be able to feel something more, and the touch of his hands on yours only made the beast inside of him grow more and more unruly.

“I forgive you, Y/N.” He tried to state it in the softest way possible, making sure the feigning of the line wouldn’t be discovered. However, he knew you believed him by the twinkle in your eye, signifying an immense weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

“Todoroki…” A warm tear dropped from your cheek to his hand. “Thank you, Todoroki… thank you.” More tears would soon follow and drop onto his hand. He would’ve let go of you if he wasn’t so encapsulated by the feeling of your salty waters dropping onto his skin. As your tears cooled and dried up into his hand, he couldn’t have felt more enthused.

It was only then that Todoroki could take in the beauty that was your face. You looked so elegant like that, with pools of emotions trailing down your cheeks. Maybe if he’d seen this site of you in high school he’d had instantly fell in love. But such feelings didn’t reside in him anymore. They’d been evicted by the lurking beast of revenge, and that beast was craving more of this site from you.

“Two Vieux Carre cocktails” The bartender had placed the drinks on the counter in front of each of you before grabbing something under the counter. “…and a tissue”. He handed the soft fabric to you which made you giggle a bit.

“Thank you, Shinsou.”

He simply hummed a reply at you and returned to making drinks for other patrons that had walked in.

While you wiped away the allure that was your tears, Todoroki sat there, thinking of prolific strategies of how to get you under his grip. Should he just ask you to come home with him? Wouldn’t that be too straight forward? He didn’t know much about social interactions, but he knew asking a woman at a bar to come home with him had its underlying implications. And its not that he was undesired by women; he knew of the colleagues in his office that held romantic feelings for him. He just never followed through with any of them, never feeling anything close to the desires that were brought for him.

He also couldn’t help but feel subconscious about asking you to come home with him. You were the person that so incredibly ridiculed him for three years. You were still the same person who made him believe that no sane person would ever look twice at him. That he was too weak and monotonous to ever make someone feel happy.

Or were you? It seemed that whatever life change you went through caused you to redevelop your entire personality. Maybe you’d be like most the women he encountered in his life and become attracted to him? After-all, he also wasn’t the same person as he was in high school. He’d become stronger mentally and physically as well as much more confident about himself.

“Y/N, would you like to…finish drinking at my home?”

You stopped drying your tears at the suddenness of the question. “Huh?...You actually want me in your home?”

“Only if you want to.” Todoroki squeezed your hand again attempting to signal the desire to have you with him in private.

Blood rose to your nose and you looked away in embarrassment. “…Okay.”

Todoroki couldn’t stop the widening of his eyes at your acceptance. A part of him truly believed you’d call him disgusting before jumping up and delivering one of your characteristic slaps to his face. The heavens knew just how badly that needed to happen. If you’d rejected him, the beast of revenge may have gone right back to where it resided, deep in the subconscious of his mind.

But no, you’d accepted him. And with that, you’d accept your punishment. If you were truly ready to take on a new life, you would need to repent for your old one.

------------------------------------------------------------

Todoroki couldn’t stop the erratic beating of his heart as the two of you walked over the threshold into his house. He was closer and closer to fulfilling the dream of having you within his grips. But he couldn’t be too impatient as this would be the part where he would need to tread carefully. As the two of you took off your shoes, he would continue to watch your every move, like a jaguar stalking its prey.

“Woww!” Your eyes wandered around Todoroki’s living room, amazed at how expansive and beautifully designed it was. “Your house is so luxurious! And polished!” You looked back at Todoroki. “It suits you.”

Todoroki was a bit taken aback by your statement. As far as he knew, you had a rich father who catered to everything your callous heart desired. He was partly the reason behind his suffering seeing as that your father made sure any unpleasantry brought against you was hushed behind a closed door. “You aren’t used to this?” He stepped over to the mini-bar area and reached up to grab a specific bottle of wine.

“Huh?” You followed behind him and leaned against the bar counter, grazing your finger over the refined marble surface.  

“This…kind of house. You aren’t used to it?” He grabbed a corkscrew from the drawer and began to pry off the wine bottle’s cork. “Your father was a rich businessman was he not?”

You scoffed as you rested your elbow on the marble. “My father was in the yakuza. Rich in some aspects, but no businessman.” Your eyes fell from Todoroki to the counter. “And we never got to live in a place anywhere this grand. Especially after he was taken down by the cops…”

“I see.” It made perfect sense honestly. Your yakuza connections would explain the lackeys, the apathy of the teachers towards your lechery, the strange approval of your actions by the entire class. It must’ve been hard behind the scenes having to be the daughter of a yakuza member, but nonetheless it wouldn’t your crimes against his humanity. Todoroki poured two glasses of wine and placed one on the counter next to you.

“Should we…sit on the couch?” You looked towards to main part of the living room, eyes landing on Todoroki’s expensive sectional. “I-I mean…if you want to…”

Todoroki noticed the flustering of your face and couldn’t help but think that if the two of you had met under different pretexts he would surely have made you his wife. But marriage is not what this affair is about. This affair is about satisfying the demon that grew expansively inside of him.

He grabbed your hand and intertwined his fingers between yours as he picked up both glasses with his other hand. “I’d love to, Y/N”.

He walked the two of you over to the couch, waiting until you sat down to hand you your glass and sit closely beside you. He carefully watched as you took sips from the glass, mesmerized by the shape of lips and how you’d glossed them for your night out. They looked so soft and delicate and perfectly matched the dimensions of your face.

But your naivety obviously outmatched your beauty Todoroki thought. How could you so easily drink from the hands of someone who would so obviously want to get revenge on you? Did your newfound personality make you oblivious to the dangers of life? Maybe after wanting to permanently discard the remains of the yakuza from your brain, you decided to look at people in a new light. Maybe you wanted to just see the good in everyone and learn that most people aren’t out to destroy you. It is indeed a true thought; most people don’t want to destroy you.

But most people also don’t subject those around them to abhorrent acts of malice. And for that, your naivety would prove to be one of the worst decisions you’d made in your small existence.

“Your wine…it tastes very good.” You had swirled what left of it you had before drinking it all within a couple more gulps.

Probably the best compliment you could have said in your life. Todoroki had taken the time to make sure every speckle of power was completely dissolved into the wine. He couldn’t taste it himself or get a taste tester of course, so he would have just had to wait until your ultimate encountering to test it. And it worked.

“It was a gift from a friend abroad.” A lie. But a believable lie. “I’m glad you like it.”

You quizzingly looked at his still full glass of wine in his hand. “Why didn’t you drink any?”

“Oh...I- well I guess I am already a bit tipsy from the bar so further consumption would be ill-advised.” He smoothy stated before placing the glass on the coffee table in front of the couch.

You giggled at the statement as Todoroki internally cackled at your gullibility.

“You know, Todoroki…” Your eyes strayed to your lap. “I know this must mean nothing coming from me but…I liked you a lot in high school.” You twirled your index finger in circles on your skirt. “And I know I was mean to you but…I believe that our encounter must have been fate because, well…I still like you.”

Todoroki smiled, a cover-up for the guttural laughter that wanted to burst out of him. He let go of your hand and traced his fingers across your cheek before holding the side of your face delicately in his hand. “That…means more than you’d ever know, Y/N.”

“Shouto…”

He leaned over to give you a peck on the cheek before pressing his lips against yours. Your lips were just as soft as they looked and the gloss you wore provided a sweet vanilla taste. You sunk your hand into the red side of his hair before slipping your tongue in between his lips. Your tongue felt hot in his mouth and Todoroki grabbed your head to pull you deeper into the kiss. He tasted every part of your mouth that he could with his tongue. Your teeth, your gums, the inside of your cheeks. He made sure to leave his mark everywhere in your mouth, foreboding to the marks that would soon be left on your body.

As his kiss got deeper, yours became shallower and lazier. Eventually you pressed your hand against his chest to softly get him to back up.

“I’m sorry, Shouto…” You pressed your hand to your forehead. “It seems…I have a headache…and I’m kinda sleepy.” Your eyelids drooped heavily as sleep seemed to overcome you. “I…should go home.”

Shouto grabbed your head and leaned you down on the couch, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Ssshh…its okay Y/N. You can just sleep here for tonight. I’ll drive you back in the morning.”

“Okay…thankyou, Shouto.” You quickly drifted off to sleep at the finish of your sentence.

When Todoroki felt the heaves of your chest raise higher and lower at deeper levels, he picked you up into his arms, carrying you gently to make sure you wouldn’t wake up. Though that was a rare chance seeing as how he put a little extra power in the wine to make sure it would subdue you. He carried you down the corridor to the door that would lead to your demise. Before he walked down the stairs, he whispered into your non-listening ear.

“This encounter is indeed special, Y/N. But it will be more special to you than it will for me…because tonight will mark my vengeance. And tonight will also mark…your repentance.”

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #160

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making... wait a minute! Isn’t King Arthur supposed to be a girl?

Anyways, this faker is a Watcher Paladin and Monster Slayer Ranger to hunt down beasts wherever they may hide, as well as a Zealot Barbarian for his own Mana Burst skill and even bigger smites.

Check out his (god, it feels wrong using that pronoun) build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: He might not be allowed at pride, but I’m not waiting a month to do another build.

Race and Background

Arthur may be from a different reality, but he’s still a Human, and since we need those ability scores more than any feats, this gives him a +1 to all abilities. You’re a Pendragon, so you’re a lil bit basic by FGO standards.

He’s also a Knight, getting proficiency in History and Persuasion.

Ability Scores

Unfortunately your mana burst can’t do all the work, so make your Strength as high as possible to swing your sword sword. After that is Charisma; you have a whole skill named after it, and I mean have you heard his White Day voice lines? Dude’s sexy. If you want to set off on an interplanar hunting trip, Wisdom is also a must. Your Dexterity also has to be pretty good, mostly for multiclassing, but also because sometimes you fight in a tuxedo. Sadly, this means your Constitution isn’t as high as we’d like, and you’ll have to dump Intelligence. I honestly don’t know how smart Arthur’s supposed to be, but we’re juggling a lot of balls here. The only things we could dump are intelligence and constitution, and he definitely doesn’t have a negative con modifier. If you’re really worked up about this one, just remember all his historical knowledge comes from another dimension, so it probably isn’t that useful in this one.

Class Levels

1. Paladin 1: Starting off as a paladin gives you proficiency with Wisdom and Charisma saves, as well as proficiency with Religion and Athletics. You are still a Pendragon, and I’m pretty sure a holy grail fits into your backstory somewhere.

You also get a Divine Sense to help you hunt down extraplanar beasts, and you can use your Lay on Hands as an action to heal a creature you touch as an action, healing up to five times your paladin level per long rest.

2. Paladin 2: Second level paladins get their Fighting Style, and Great Weapon Fighting makes your attacks more consistent by re-rolling damage dice that land on 1s and 2s. This adds up, especially when you start factoring Divine Smites. Yes you too can use up spell slots to deal extra radiant damage to your Excalibur’s attacks!

Speaking of, you can use Spells, preparing and casting them with your Charisma. We’ll go into more detail about which ones to pick when we grab a subclass next level.

3. Paladin 3: Upon taking your sacred oath, you become a Watcher, this plane’s bulwark against extraplanar threats. (I mean, CotTT hangs out in his own demiplane, Tiamat spends most her time in Imaginary Number Space, and Kiara’s from the moon... most of the beasts we’ve seen so far count.)

Once per short rest, you can Channel Divinity in one of two ways. You can use your Watcher’s Will to give your allies advantage on Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma saves. You can also Abjure the Extraplanar, turning extraplanar creatures who fail their wisdom save, running away for a minute or until it takes damage.

You also get your freebie spells, Alarm and Detect Magic. The former will prevent your camp from getting ambushed, while the latter will be very useful to track down that beast you’re tailing.

Once you find them, use Compelled Duel to keep them in sword range, or Protection from Evil and Good to even the odds if they go on the offensive. Also, smites. Smites are good.

4. Paladin 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to round up your Constitution and Charisma for stronger saves and more health.

5. Paladin 5: Fifth level paladins get an Extra Attack each attack action, making Excalibur’s victory a bit more promised.

You also get 2nd level spells, like the freebies Moonbeam and See Invisibility. Beasts do come with the tendency to transform for the climactic battle... I wonder if forcing them back into their less intimidating forms will actually weaken them?

Beyond the free spells, you can use more Smites, as well as Magic Weapon to make Excalibur a truly legendary weapon, adding +1 to its attack and damage rolls.

6. Barbarian 1: Changing planes to barbarian gives you your Mana Burst in the form of Rage, giving you several benefits: you get advantage on strength saves and checks, as well as bonus damage on melee attacks, and you resist physical damage. The downsides are; you can’t cast or concentrate on spells, the rage only lasts 1 minute, as long as you take or deal damage each round Also, you can’t use heavy armor. Hope you like a breastplate, because that’s the most you can hold onto here.

You also unlock your tuxedo, thanks to your Unarmored Defense, giving you a minimum AC based on your dexterity and constitution. I never said it would be good, but it’s better than nothing.

7. Ranger 1: Switching over quickly now, first level rangers get a free skill proficiency! Grab Survival to track your quarries, then use Canny to double survival’s proficiency bonus so you can track them beyond planar boundaries.

You also gain a Favored Enemy, a kind of foe that you have advantage on checks to track or recall lore about. Most beasts probably qualify as Aberrations in D&D, so go with that one.

8. Ranger 2: Second level rangers get another Fighting Style. Fighting in a tuxedo is pretty unrealistic, so let’s double down on the armor with Protection, giving you +1 to your AC in any kind of protection.

You also get another set of Spells that use your Wisdom. Thankfully Hunter’s Mark and Zephyr Strike don’t really care about your modifier. The former adds extra damage to every attack and makes tracking even easier than it already is. The latter only adds damage to a single attack, but it makes you able to ignore attacks of opportunity and move faster the one turn you deal extra damage. DW might not have given you a wind-based spiritron dress, but you can still make them work for you.

9. Ranger 3: Third level rangers get Primeval Awareness, spending a spell slot to sense various kinds of extraplanar and otherworldly creatures around you to make tracking down beast four a little easier.

Once you find it, you can use your skills as a Monster Slayer to take it down. Your Monster Slayer Magic gives you Protection from Evil and Good as a freebie, and you also gain two actual features! Hunter’s Sense is an action to determine a creature’s weaknesses and strengths. You can use this a number of times per long rest equal to your wisdom modifier.

You can also turn one creature at a time into your Slayer’s Prey, spending a bonus action to deal an extra bit of damage once per turn with your weapon attacks. It sticks to that creature until you finish a short rest.

Finally for your normal spell this level grab Searing Smite. It’s a smite, it sears.

10. Ranger 4: Fourth level rangers get another ASI, so bring your Strength up for stronger sword swings. Wielding the breath of a planet doesn’t mean anything if you can’t hit people with it.

11. Paladin 6: Your Aura of Protection gives you and allies within 10 feet of you a bonus to all your saving throws equal to your charisma modifier. Honestly this is super useful, you might want to think about doing this earlier. Or don’t, I’m not a cop.

12. Barbarian 2: Second level barbarians can make Reckless Attacks, giving you advantage on attacks for a turn in exchange for your enemies having advantage on attacks against you for the round. The smart thing to do is to smite them out of existence before they get the chance.

You also get Danger Sense, giving you advantage on dexterity saves if you can see them coming. You probably wouldn’t last long against Beast 1 if you weren’t able to survive a fireball.

13. Barbarian 3: Third level barbarians get their path, and as a Zealot you can put the fear of god into anything you fight. Your Divine Fury deals 1d6+1 extra radiant damage with each attack while raging, and as a Warrior of the Gods, you can be revived with magic without needing material components.

You also get Primal Knowledge to figure out an Animal Handling proficiency. Riding skill, checked off the list.

14. Paladin 7: Seventh level Watchers exude the Aura of the Sentinel, adding your proficiency bonus to your initiative, as well as the initiative of any creature within 10′ of you. With most beasts, attacking slowly means you won’t be attacking at all.

15. Paladin 8: Use this ASI to bump up your charisma for stronger spells and better saves. I’m still not entirely sure how we’re building Kiara yet, but rest assured those saves will be necessary.

16. Ranger 5: Fifth level rangers get an extra attack, but that doesn’t stack with the one you already have, sorry.

It’s not all bad news, though! You also get Zone of Truth from your Slayer magic, and Enhance Ability as your usual spell. The former forces humanoids to tell the truth if they fail a charisma save, while the latter just makes whoever you cast it on better in one kind of ability check for the duration, giving them advantage for the duration.

17. Ranger 6: If a Beast isn’t an aberration, it’s probably a Monstrosity, so grab that as your second Favored Enemy. You also get another Deft Explorer perk, Roving, which gives you an extra 5′ of movement speed, as well as a climbing and swimming speed. Since you’re never getting a summer version, it’s important that you can keep up with your female counterpart as-is.

18. Paladin 9: Ninth level paladins get third level spells; Counterspell and Nondetection both work to put a damper into beasts’ plans, either shutting down their super form or making it harder for them to spy on you. You also get more smites, Dispel Magic to force them out of their super mode later, or Spirit Shroud for more damage. more damage is good.

19. Paladin 10: At tenth level, you and your allies can’t be frightened because you’ve got an Aura of Courage! It’s level nineteen so that’s not super useful, but it’s still one less thing to worry about.

20. Paladin 11: Your capstone level gives you an Improved Divine Smite, adding a bit of that radiant goodness to all your melee attacks, regardless of what spell slots you do or don’t spend on them.

Pros:

Arthur has a big sword, and he knows how to use it, dealing some heavy damage with each swing. While raging and preying, he deals 6d6+4d8+10 damage each round (assuming both attacks hit), all boosted by great weapon master, and that’s before any kind of smites get included.

Despite your low dexterity score, you’re still pretty quick when you need to be. You’ve got a faster walking speed than most people, your dexterity save is solid thanks to your aura and danger sense, and you’ve got another aura boosting your initiative! Basically you have a high dexterity in everything except ability checks and AC, with almost no direct investment needed!

Mixing your primeval awareness with your divine senses means you are a fine-tuned tracker when it comes to locating creatures from another plane. Just make sure you don’t mix up your quarry with MHX, I doubt she’d be happy to see you.

Cons:

While medium armor does a solid enough job of protecting you, your HP is pretty low for a front line fighter, with barely over 120 HP. You’re here for a good time, not a long time.

As always, mixing spells and rage is pretty bad, forcing you to choose one or the other. That’s especially painful because it means you can’t use your neat gish spells to add effects if you want to deal more damage. Kind of like your smites, when I think about it.

Your paladin, barbarian, and ranger features all want use of your bonus action, meaning it will take a while for you to get up to full speed in a fight anyway. I’d definitely rage first, it’d help with the squishiness.