#the Toasty Bandit

[coneygoil]

I am sick to my stomach this morning. When I went to the chicken coop to let my chickens out, I found one of them dead. And not just dead but there was barely anything left of her! Bandit, my tiny brown silkie, had been broody for a couple of days so she was in the nesting box. Somehow a predictor squeezed in and literally ate her in there. The rest of the chickens were fine, even my crippled one that sleeps in the ground. I’m so shaken and I can’t get that image out of my head if finding her. I’ve never in my 11 years of chicken keeping had one die a gruesome death like that. We couldn’t even say goodbye to her proper bc there was only a few bones of feathers left. I found where something could have squeezed in. Can’t believe I hadn’t caught that breach until now 😩

Here’s a tribute to the Toasty Bandit , our tiny brown silkie. We’ve only had her since January, but we loved her very much 🤎 Fly high, precious girl

That bottom right picture was taken just two days ago 😢

[asktoastythearcanine]

*Destino strolled up to the Arcanine, smug grin on their face as usual.*

Destino: Toasty buddy. You're supposed to be a medic. You're out here starting fights with others now? I never would have expected that from someone like you. Guarantee you lost that one. You look like a single hit could make you faint. Perhaps stay out of fights you can't win next time, alright buddy?

"I WILL KNOCK YOU INTO NEXT WEEK WITH THAT LITTLE CROWN ON YOUR NOGGIN!! WHAT AN INSULT TO THE KINGDOM, YOU SHOULD BE-"

"AUGH- I THINK YOU GAVE ME A CONCUSSION. CUT IT OUT!! They're not from around these parts, can't you tell by the smell? That's the scent of an outsider."

"... Hrnnnggg. What's a tourist doing beyond the walls anyways? Don't you know how dangerous the roads are? Bandits cover the woodlands to and from here like beedrill swarming a flower. You might get yourself killed."

"Honestly, I'd rather fight the bandits than those three old bastards and their honedge..."

@ask-the-royal-absol

NEW HINTS

|| Anti-Citizen seems to be a common term, used on Citizen IDs and by the MPs. ||

[kiwibirb1]

okay since i cant write right now AU MEETUP TIME BABY todays topic: scars

oh also just for reference C![name] means canon, BT![name] means Bronze Toad AU, WV![name] means Wandering Vagabond AU, and CiH![name] means Calamity in Hyrule AU. These might might slowly get replaced with nicknames once i figure them all out (aka BT is like nicknames from the start)

BT!Marcy(Marbles): Okay, why does everyone have scars!? You are all children! BT!Sasha(Heron): Oi got mine defending you?? Marbles: Okay, well yeah, but you're an adult! What about the rest of you? C!Sasha: Which one? WV!Sasha: (She signs btw, so that's what '' this is. His Marcy is translating for everyone or smthn) '...What do you mean which one? Do you have more? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHEN I WENT WITH GRIME!?' C!Sasha: Oh no actually this one *points to cheek* was Anne when we fought and then this one *turns around and lifts back of shirt* was when I fought Marcy but she was possessed so it's all cool now. *Both C!Anne and C!Marcy give thumbs up. Everyone looks horrified.* CiH!Anne: Who did this to you children? (Uh I actually haven't figured out if CiH is aged up so it is at least slightly here k) WHY WAS MARCY POSSESSED? *One explanation later* BT!Anne(Domino): Um. Marbles. You need to have a talk with your uncle. Like immediately. *All the Marcys turn to BT!Marcy* Marcys: ANDRIAS IS YOUR UNCLE!? C!Marcy: HE PICKLED ME! WV!Marcy: HE WAS LIKE REALLY MANIPULATIVE! CiH!Marcy: Gonna be honest no idea who Andrias is I got a tree grandpa. Marbles: Okay in Uncle's defense I do think it's a different thing seeing as we're all from Amphibia. C!Anne: Yeah no sorry this is like not relevant but I seriously can't tell if you guys are frogs or humans? Like I know it's you but my brain won't decide. *Everyone else nods but before they can continue CiH!Sasha derails it, but also somehow rerails it (im just rambling at this point help)* CiH!Sasha: Woah so how did you fuck up your eye? WV!Sasha: 'I fought herons and like died a bit.' Heron: Hah. I won against herons. WV!Sasha: 'Then how did you lose your eye?' Heron: Defending a beautiful lady from merciless bandits. Domino, calling from the pickle juice conversation: I did most of the fighting, you wuss! C!Sasha: ...I feel like I should be a part of this conversation for some reason. What about you, Goron (name is iffy but it works for now okay?) CiH!Sasha: Oh, I went up into Death Mountain without my tunic on and and it got a little toasty. I can still see fine, I just look extra tough. CiH!Marcy: Hah you swear like a rock. CiH!Sasha: And you swear like a tree. WV!Anne: Yo wait didn't you say you had a tree grandpa or something? Please elaborate more. *One tree grandpa ramble later*

sorry mates i've run out of steam uh dang why do these always get so off topic?

[contentment-of-cats]

WIP bit 10

The first time Pyrondi finds her favorite (decidedly non-regulation) sleepwear and bundles into the nest wearing it, Thrawn nearly laughs. The sleepwear is a soft purple plush on the outside, the texture of a child’s comfort object, and softer synthfleece on the inside. It is hooded, covering the small woman from ankles to crown. Moreover, she can pull her feet in the bottom and the front of the hood down to her nose. When her fellow nesters tease, she says that she wouldn’t need such if they were not such blanket bandits. 

The sleepwear concentrates her body heat, and Pyrondi sleeps toasty warm, curled into a little ball. Agral calls it the ‘Mighty Nightie of No.’ 

However.

Chiss are a heat seeking species. Human body heat is a beacon. Thrawn finds the combination of softness and warmth luring him. He wakes with Pyrondi in a full body squish, purring as if he’s gone and lost his mind. Humans can be easily purred to sleep, and Pyrondi is the next thing to unconscious. 

And so it goes, as much as he tries not to be inappropriate.

He doesn’t think that she is wearing anything under the encompassing sleepwear. The question should not even occur to him. 

But it does.

[pinksparklelps]

The elusive boy

The others are there too ig :/ /j

Big guy™️ is Bandit and his little butt buddy is Reeses

Marshmallow is the roasty toasty nose and Eclipse is the very little guy™️

[gremlinbehaviour]

Elyan + Huddling For Warmth?💜

“I’m cold,” Elyan murmured from behind Gwaine. Due to his short legs and the depth of the snow, he was struggling to keep up and had fallen to the back of the group of knights.

“We’re all cold,” Gwaine grumbled in response. They’d gone to Ismere again, as they’d heard a bandit who fancied himself a warlord had taken over the abandoned castle and mines and was searching for the Diamair again, and they wanted to make sure it wouldn't be found and used against them.

“We’re almost there,” Leon reassured them. “And it will go faster if you’re not whining.” Wolves howled in the distance over the sound of the howling wind, and they trudged onwards. Finally, they reached the castle and stepped inside out of the swirling snow, but as they were now able to see each other again, they realized one of them was missing.

“Elyan?” Gwaine called, his voice wavering like his friend’s had when he called for him down in the dungeons of Camelot’s castle so many years ago. They’d been separated during the fight back then, but there was no excuse for them having been split up now. “Elyan!”

“Did we lose him?” Leon demanded. He had taken his wet cloak off and dropped it to the floor, but now frantically struggled to buckle it back on in preparation to go back out into the blizzard.

“We- we must have-” Gwaine stuttered. How could he have been so careless? He had seen that Elyan was struggling and not done anything. As Leon rushed past him, he frantically shook himself to get rid of the numbness and ran after his friend. They retraced their footsteps, which had thankfully not yet been obscured by the falling snow. Finally, they spotted a dark lump against the whiteness. The cold and the ache of their muscles suddenly didn’t matter as they lunged towards it.

Gwaine arrived a second after Leon, who was already turning Elyan over from where had fallen on his chest. The knight was only semi-conscious and mumbled incoherently, weakly trying to fight off the hands that surrounded them. His lips had taken on a blue tinge, and he was no longer shivering. That was not a good sign.

“We need to get him warm, fast,” Leon announced, lifting him up over his shoulder. Gwaine made sure he didn’t bounce too much and that Leon didn’t trip as they strode as quickly as possible back towards the castle.

“Stay with us,” Gwaine begged. They got him into the castle and immediately went to find a more enclosed room with a fireplace. Although, when they found a bedroom with blessedly intact blankets and a bed, there was no wood to build a fire with. Of course there was no wood, and no way they would be going out to get some. Maybe they could harvest some old furniture for a fire, but only once Elyan was in less danger.

“Elyan, come on, you need to stay awake!” Leon encouraged, keeping him upright as Gwaine stripped off his cloak. Together they wrestled off his chainmail and then their own, stripping down to their skin and tucking him into bed. They climbed in on either side of him, pulling his cold body against their slightly warmer ones.

“Elyan, please, talk to us,” Gwaine begged. The knight hadn’t said anything since his last complaint that he was cold.

“-m cold,” he murmured again, voice slurred.

“I know, love, but we’re going to get you warm again,” Leon promised. So as not to jostle Elyan too much, he didn’t grab onto him, but instead reached around his body to hold Gwaine’s arms and sandwich him between them. He squirmed and they gave him a bit more space while still keeping him close. That was the first movement he’d made since they’d gotten to him, and Leon took it as a good sign even though he was trying to push them away.

“We’re gonna get you nice and toasty, huh?” Gwaine tried to jest. Elyan didn’t respond. Waiting and not receiving any response was agony, but there was nothing they could do as none of their attempts to rouse their friend helped. Finally they felt him shiver between them.

“It hurts,” he whimpered in answer to one of their many questions about how he was feeling.

“Where?” Leon asked, but he didn’t move to investigate as he normally would in response to that statement. Elyan might have broken his wrist or another bone when he fell and was just now feeling it as the numbness from the cold retreated, though hopefully the snow had cushioned his fall.

“My arms and legs.” He whimpered from the pain and pressed his face further into the crook of Gwaine’s neck.

“That means you’re warming up,” Leon explained as he realized. “I know it hurts, but it will pass.” His own limbs had just gone through the same pain, beginning with the pins and needles feeling on his skin and shifting to a deep ache in his bones. It would be worse for Elyan though, since he had gotten so much colder, and since he was still disoriented it would be harder for him to understand and compartmentalize.

"C- can't you make it stop?" He asked. Gwaine just rubbed his back very gently as Leon tried to explain it more. It took almost an hour, but finally Elyan became warm to the touch, or at least not freezing, and aware of his surroundings.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

"Gods, Elyan, no!" Gwaine protested. "It was our fault, not yours. We never should have left you behind." He bent to kiss his friend's forehead gently. "And I'm never letting you out of my sight again.” Considering that this might be impractical, and that the last thing he wanted was to make Elyan feel trapped, he amended his statement, adding, “At least not in a snowstorm."

[yukipri]

Out of curiosity what is Luffy’s preferred sleep ware in your mer!au? Like I feel like most of the clothes - her vest shirt and the jingle-y bra thing - would not be comfy nor warm. I also don’t see her wearing something “sexy” because of the above as well. Basically I’m asking if Luffy just wears oversized shirts to bed because they are comfortable and can be warm if she gets a big/long enough one.

So tbh, while I’m sure it’s not the most soft plush comfortable thing in the world, Luffy doesn’t really care all that much about comfort. She’s a pirate, and if canon Lu can sleep in a vest and jeans and wear the same stuff 24/7, Mer!Lu can too ^ ^; The concept of “sleepwear” is sorta lost on most pirates, to Nami’s great dismay.

That being said, as previously mentioned, Luffy gets cold when she’s inactive because she’s a mermaid, which is why she usually sleeps pressed close to Ace. Honestly the three years after Ace left and she was stuck on Dawn Island alone were the hardest; she bundled up in blankets and make a nest with all of Ace’s clothes that he’d left behind, built a fire, and sucked it up. In the winter, the bandits forced her to sleep in their cabin after they found her half-frozen in the little Luffy’s Country shack outside. Rough times.

But after she’s reunited with Ace and they set sail, being cold at night is no longer a problem. Sure, Lu might want a blanket if she was with anyone else, but she has Ace. And Ace, as it turns out, is now literally made of FIRE.

So Luffy doesn’t need a blanket or warm extra layers; all she needs to do is coil tight around Ace’s body, and he’s just warm enough to make sure she’s always comfortable. He wraps his arm around the the back of her tail, and tada! Toasty warm mermaid! No need to change, a thin vest is enough!

(And if her vest gets so bloody/ripped/messed up that even Ace and Lu agree that yeah, it’s kinda gross, she tosses it and sleeps buck naked, which is great bc direct skin on skin contact with her fire logia brother is the best way to stay warm. Their crew have a lot of thoughts on this, which they’ll bitch about but only out of earshot of the blissful brothers)

And then Sabo joins, and now no part of her is uncovered, and Luffy is very content ^ ^

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~

[mr-nobadi-m-portent]

I knew I could finish it. Actually impressed myself with this one. Was gonna play around with some lighting but thought I'll quit while I'm breaking even. Maybe I'll go for it once I've improved. Here you have Kien (once again), fitting to have a night she doesn't plan to remember. You can tell by what she's holding-- her signature 2K Bomb. It's a drink so powerfully intoxicating, even the seasoned lush could catch a buzz just from a whiff.

[sushiandstarlight]

“Hearth”: NaNoWriMo 30 Days of Prompts

Today’s Prompt

Read this story on AO3

The snow he had been expecting, the screaming wind had been another thing altogether. He had burst in the door of the tiny cottage, hoping no one was home. That didn't mean there wouldn't be, but hope was hope. He wouldn't die in the elements, but even angels could suffer. Perhaps the lord of the manor had allowed them to stay in the main house tonight on account of the storm. Aziraphale would assume that. Just as he would assume that because the lord had not forbid him to take his rest here, that meant that he could. No one needed to know; he could tidy before he left.

He sat down his pack near the only chair in the room and knelt in front of the hearth, working to get a fire going. It would take some time to warm the room, but he could at least get feeling back in his fingers and toes while he waited. Once that was accomplished, he packed the pot next to the fireplace with snow and swung it over the fire. When it came to boil, he poured some in a thick, earthen cup and dropped in tea leaves. Settling back in the chair, he sipped at the tea and sighed, bare toes pointed towards the flames. One day, he knew, humans would invent indoor heating. That was a long way off, though. The fire was nice, in the mean time. It popped and crackled, the light making the whole room dance and twitch. His eyes drooped as he watched it, mind drifting to a state of blank numbness as his body warmed.

A few more moments of warmth and quiet and he might have actually drifted to sleep- perish the thought- and missed the soft thump against the door. Setting down his now- empty cup he walked cautiously towards the door. It could be wild animals. It could be bandits. Any number of things could be on the other side. Still, he had best check to be sure.

The icy wind blasted him in the face when he opened the door, tearing at the warmth he had managed to accumulate. Immediately his teeth were on edge. No one was standing in the doorway. He nearly shut the door again, but happened to glance downward. Someone, bundled in a heavy woolen cloak, was curled up on the stoop. Aziraphale took a moment to look around in the darkness, but there was no one else. Grasping the stranger by the shoulder, he hauled them inside.

There was a soft grunt from inside the fabric as he lowered them to the floor. He reached for the hood and pulled it back. Fiery red curls spilled out, shot through with ice and snow.

“Now how did you find your self way out here, serpent?”

Crowley did not reply, just shivered deeply and tried to curl further into his cloak. The cloak was covered in snow and ice, too, which was rapidly melting now that he was inside. Aziraphale sighed and started to peel the cloak away, batting at Crowley's feeble attempts to pull it closer. It had protected him, somewhat, from the elements until now. But, now it would only impede in the angel's work to warm him up. Crowley's clothes under the cloak were mostly dry, thankfully, and would dry further once he was near the flames.

Bending down and scooping the demon up in his arms was easy now without all the extra fabric: one arm under his knees, the other supporting his shoulders. He carried Crowley over to the hearth and lay him down on the soft, thick fur skin rug as close to the fire as he dared. He should, he knew, stand and go back to the chair for the night. There was no need to stay on the floor with Crowley, no need to be this close.

But another shiver coursed through the demon and he curled in on himself. Reflections of the fire danced over the curls that fell over his face. Aziraphale brushed them back behind his ear- marveling at how soft and silky they really were- to better look at his face. It was pale and drawn, revealing the pain of the chill still inside him. Were he awake, Aziraphale would make him tea. But no amount of coaxing would wake the demon. Aziraphale wondered, distantly, if it was the snake in him, hibernating.

Body heat, he knew, was the best way to warm someone up. He just wasn't sure exactly how Crowley would feel if he woke up entangled with an angel. Least of all, Aziraphale. Well, he supposed of all of them he would mind least in that case. He wouldn't be laying on the floor, though. He tugged the chair closer with a little miracle- surely his brethren wouldn't even notice that one- and sat back against it. He pulled Crowley into the V of his legs and hugged him close to his chest. Crowley shivered and it ran through Aziraphale, too. His body was so very, very cold. Reaching backwards, he grabbed his own cloak and draped it over both of them.

Crowley might not like this when he woke up. But, Crowley would never need to know. Aziraphale would stay awake and keep watch. When he had sufficiently warmed the demon, he would tuck him into the chair. He slipped his arms around Crowley's waist and held him close, resting his chin on his shoulder and watched the flames dance.

-

There was something stirring in his lap. He was instantly awake and instantly remembered his situation. Holding himself perfectly still, he waited to see what Crowley's reaction would be. But, the demon hadn't woken up, after all. He had turned in his sleep: sideways in Aziraphale's lap. His head was fitted into the bit of space below Aziraphale's chin and his arms were wrapped around the angel's middle.

Three things occurred to Aziraphale in that moment:

1. He had fallen asleep, after all, despite his resolve not to do so. 2. There was no way, now, to disentangle himself from Crowley without waking the demon up. 3. He had absolutely no desire to disentangle himself from Crowley.

It was the third thing that gave him the most pause, although the others would need to be revisited. Because, you see, Aziraphale had never been on the receiving end of a hug let alone a snuggle. Handshakes, sure. Firm grasps of forearms, plenty. Even air kisses on cheeks, a few times. But, this... this was something different. He felt goosebumps break out over his arms and his cheeks flushed.

It was an odd sensation and should not have been comfortable, but he couldn't deny that he didn't want it to stop. His arms had dropped away, either in his sleep or when Crowley stirred. He lifted them now and hugged Crowley back. In return, Crowley nuzzled sleepily into his neck. Now goosebumps shivered down his spine. His chest was warm, not just from where Crowley sprawled over him, but from the inside. It felt good to be this close to someone. Well, someone he trusted. Thinking for a moment, he realized there really wasn't anyone else he would want to touch him like this.

And when Crowley woke up, they would go their separate ways. What were the odds that a situation like this would ever crop up again? He wasn't even sure why the demon was here, now. To be thwarted, he supposed.

Thwarting... it could wait until tomorrow, right? There was no reason to start it right now. He could indulge this new feeling a little. He was warm and safe, Crowley was warm and safe (he didn't dwell too long on why that second part suddenly mattered more than it had before). With the storm, it was unlikely that anyone would disturb them. There were plenty of hours of night left.

That justified he settled back into the chair, hugging Crowley to him again and stroking his back under the cloak. Crowley hummed contentedly and nuzzled him again. This time he was prepared for how that made him feel and he indulged it. He tried to keep himself awake, but the problem was Crowley was such a comforting weight in his arms. The shared warmth tugged at him until he drifted off again.

-

The last thing Crowley remembered was seeing a blurry light in the distance. He couldn't feel, well, anything. Not his feet or his hands, those were long gone. But his face and his belly had stopped aching a mile ago, the cold that had pained him with each step and breath was gone... But not for a good reason. Each blink of his eyes felt harder, his lids heavier. Increasingly, he was fighting the urge to lay down in the snow. Still he trudged towards the light. It was in a window, he realized as he got closer. Perhaps they would let him in for the night, if he kept his hair over his eyes. He could have a blanket and a warm, dry corner to sleep in. His expectations weren't high or hard to meet at this point. Unfortunately, his world chose that moment to both fade out and swing wildly to the left.

-

The first thing he noticed when he woke up was that he was warm. Not just a little toasty. This was “I found a nice, dark, flat rock out in the sunshine of the desert” warm. It was absolutely lovely and he never, ever wanted to move. But the rock under him shifted and he clutched at it instinctively. It wasn't a rock at all, but soft. It gave under his arms, his fingers... his face?

He lifted his head and found himself staring directly into stormy blue eyes. A furrow appeared between them as he continued to stare.

“Angel?”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale said it with a sigh of relief. The furrow in his brow relaxed, well, some.

“Not that this isn't nice,” Crowley cleared his throat, “but how did I come to be in your lap?”

Aziraphale shifted uncomfortably, turning defensive.

“Body heat.”

“What?”

“Body heat!”

Crowley stared at him like he'd gone mad.

“The quickest way to warm someone up is sharing body heat. That's all this is. You needed some heat and I had some. So. Body heat, that's all.” Aziraphale was staring off to the right now.

“That's all, is it?” Crowley teased, smirking at him. “What else would it be?” Aziraphale took the teasing for what it was: a lifeline, an out. “Y-you foul fiend. Couldn't have you getting discorporated, could I?”

“Yesss, then you would have to sort out a new recruit. Lots of paperwork. Lots of relearning the enemy. They might send up someone more... efficient.”

Aziraphale gasped dramatically.

“Oh, no, we couldn't have that. You and I have our routine. We have the lay of the land, so to speak.”

“No need throwing that away because you don't want a snuggle.”

Aziraphale choked out a “right” in reply and then fell silent. Crowley watched him, thoughtfully.

“But, you know, I'm still a little chilly.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, I think if I moved right now I might slip out of consciousness again.”

“That would be terrible.”

“Well, I don't want to trouble you.”

“Still a couple hours until sunrise, dear boy, maybe you should stay put.”

“So I don't get discorporated.”

“Precicely.”

“Well, alright then, if you insist.” Crowley lay his head back down on Aziraphale's shoulder, though he refrained from nuzzling. He thought he saw a bit of a frown, perhaps disappointment, tug at the angel's lips.

“I'm afraid I must, for my own sake. Can't be sending memos up saying I've been down here all this time and I don't even know my enemy.”

“Sure, sure. We have to keep up your reputation,” Crowley patted the angel's arm and sighed softly, relaxing and willing himself to go back to sleep. If he felt fingers gently stroking the small of his back as he drifted, he didn't mention it.

Previous Prompt Ficlets:

Frosty / Ribbons / Wrapping / Cardinal / Coal / Unwrap / Blustery

[crackimagines]

New Horizons (FE: Three Houses Short Fic)

Animal Crossing AU

(PART 1) 

(PART 2)

Byleth, Megumi, and Kazuma must spearhead their group to safety after being transported to an unknown world…

…Of pure comfort and relaxation, led by talking Raccoons, apparently.

----

DAY 1

When the plane finally landed, Kazuma, Aqua and Megumi stretched and took in the island air.

(Kazuma) “Ya know for a buncha raccoons, they’re really good fliers!”

(Megumi) “It’s strange seeing our world like this. Though...the situation here seems far more ideal than the one I was in...”

(Aqua) “Hm? Whatcha mean?”

(Megumi) “...Oh! I’ll save that story for another time, I think everyone has sea legs...Or would that be air legs?”

Everyone else was shaken after being on a vehicle that defied all of their logic. 

(Claude) “Sweet land, how I’ve missed you so!”

Kazuma rolled his eyes and turned around to see three raccoons.

Two of them were Timmy and Tommy and the bigger one seemed to be in charge.

(Tom) “Hello, is everyone here?”

(Megumi) “Yes, sir.”

(Tom) “Perfect! Now, let’s all head over to the plaza, I’ll be making our announcement there!”

After heading to the plaza, the raccoon took names of everyone and checked the names off his clipboard. 

Once everything checked out, he cleared his throat.

(Tom) “Welcome everyone, to your new island! My name is Tom Nook, and I’m the founder and president of Nook Inc., yes yes! Today is the first day of your new pristine island life!”

Tom Nook explained to the party that they were to begin their new lives on this deserted island as a getaway package, and that their company would be providing everything they need to be comfortable.

Tommy and Timmy gave everyone tents to set up their first homes.

(Tom) “When you’re done, please head back to the plaza! We’ll see you in a bit!”

He turned around and began speaking to the smaller raccoons, presumably about what to do next. 

(Byleth) “I guess we oughtta go head and find somewhere to camp out.”

(Kazuma) “Well, see ya in a bit then.”

Everyone nodded and went off in separate groups.

Dimitri, Edelgard, Claude

(Claude) “Ah, this gives me some nostalgia!”

(Edelgard) “You cannot be referring to the time when we were running away from those bandits, right?”

(Claude) “Course I am! It’s kinda a similar situation. On the move, unknown territory, and all of us together!”

(Dimitri) “I fail to see the connection. These aren’t bandits they’re...talking raccoons! I cannot wrap my head around this, nor the technology they possess!”

(Edelgard) “Megunee Kazuma and Aqua seem used to it though. They did say that this was their world, correct?”

(Claude) “We should ask ‘em next chance we get, I’m getting more and more curious about this place myself.”

(Dimitri) “Well in any case, is this where we are sleeping?”

The three of them were standing near the beach, the view looking right at the ocean waves crashing against the sand.

(Edelgard) “Beachside property, eh? Heh, looks like you do have some taste, Claude.”

(Claude) “I’m the only one who does here.”

Byleth, Darkness, Megumin

(Byleth) “Strange, I thought you would’ve gone with Kazuma and Aqua.”

(Megumin) “We already live with them, so it’s nice to take just a little break now and again! And besides, with how small this island is, I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other a lot.”

(Darkness) “This truly is a fascinating world. No war, just peace and quiet...and...talking animals.”

(Byleth) “Yeah, it’s quite the sight. Oh and uh, while we’re here-”

(Darkness & Megumin) ?

(Byleth) “Try...not to weird Tom Nook and the kids out, yeah?”

(Darkness) “I honestly have no idea what you mean.”

(Megumin) “Uh...huh.”

The three of them made their tents nearby the river on the right side of the area.

Megumi, Kazuma, Aqua

(Megumi) “So this is camping!”

(Aqua) “First time?”

(Megumi) “Yes, I’ve never had the chance to do this as a kid. In Japanese cities, there’s not a lot of places where you can do this.”

(Kazuma) “Yeah, it’s a bit claustrophobic. Though, I wouldn’t know too much about that.”

(Aqua) “I’m still trying to figure out how we got here? I can contact Eris and Sothis just fine, so we definitely have access back but...”

(Megumi) “But you don’t know, yes?”

(Aqua) “Right. For Kazuma to get back to his old world, he had to defeat the Demon King. And when we got transported to Fodlan, I think we’re supposed to fight the Flame Emperor or something. As for here?”

(Kazuma) “Meh, I’m fine living in Animal Crossing.”

(Megumi) “So, what is this world? You seem to know this place a bit.”

(Kazuma) “I’ve played a few of the games myself, actually. Basically we just live here in houses and just laze around all day. It’s very relaxing to play, and it’s gonna be even sweeter to live in! Just the life I wanted!”

(Aqua) “Tch, of course the first thing you do is take advantage of it.”

(Kazuma) “Hell yeah, I am! No way I’m gonna let my life of luxury go away like this!”

(Megumi) “Well...Do you know if humans are still around? Tom and the others didn’t seem to react to us that violently.”

(Kazuma) “Oh yeah, it’s supposed to be modern day and everything. Japan, Europe, America, they’re all still here. Only difference is that there’s talking animals that live here in this world too, and no bad war or anything seems to happen.”

(Megumi) “I...I see.”

Megumi’s hand clenched around her necklace for a moment.

(Aqua) “You alright?”

(Megumi) “Y-Yes! Let’s just set our tents, shall we?”

They all nodded and got to work. Their tents were in the middle of a field with barely any trees around.

Everyone made their way back and Tom Nook smiled.

At least they assumed so, all he did was close his eyes.

(Tom) “Alright, with that taken care of, we can move onto more serious business...LIKE THROWING AN ISLAND-WARMING PARTY! We’ll have it right here in the plaza with a roaring campfire!”

(Claude) “Hah, that’s something I can get behind!”

(Aqua) “PARTY, WOOOO!”

(Tom) “I’m glad to see you’re so excited! Now, we’ll just need a couple supplies! Dimitri, Claude, and Edelgard, let’s clean up the plaza! Byleth, Darkness and Megumin, you should find some snacks on the trees! I’ve test tasted a few of them and they’re safe to eat. Aqua, Megumi, and Kazuma, if I could have a word?”

Everyone got off to work as the three went up to Tom Nook.

(Tom) “Now, I know it says that Megumi is the Representative of the island, but can I entrust you two to help as well? You all seem the least nervous about the package, and I’m sure everyone would rally behind you!”

(Aqua) “Hah, you made a good choice!-”

(Kazuma) “Can we have Byleth instead?”

(Aqua) “HUH?!”

(Kazuma) “He’s actually our professor, alongside Megune-Er, Miss Sakura here. Aqua is just kinda here.”

(Tom) “A professor you say? Very well, Aqua could you go help Megumin and Darkness then?”

(Aqua) “I WON’T FORGET THIS KAZUMAAAAAAAA!”

She ran off quickly towards Byleth’s group and everyone else looked on in awkward silence.

(Tom) “...She’s a colorful character.”

(Megumi) “Hah, you have...no idea.”

(Kazuma) “Anyways, we’ll be more than happy to help mister Nook!”

(Tom) “Excellent, thank you very much! Now, let’s get to work!”

Kazuma walked off to help Dimitri’s group, but Megumi was still standing.

(Tom) “Is something wrong?”

(Megumi) “Um...is it possible to send a letter out?”

Later...

Once everyone did their assigned jobs, they all stood in front of the plaza as Tom stood in the center.

(Tom) “Now, it’s been a big day for the island of Garreg, and it’s gotten a bit late, so let’s all have a toast!”

Everyone got out their drinks.

(Tom) “These are pear drinks made with the help of Byleth, Aqua, Darkness, and Megumin!”

(Byleth) “Glad to have helped.”

(Aqua) “Hmph!”

(Darkness) “A simple task for a paladin.”

(Megumin) “Insultingly simple for the Crimson Demon!”

(Tom) “And we have this toasty fire thanks to the efforts of Dimitri, Edelgard, Claude, Kazuma, and Megumi!”

(Claude) “No need for thanks!”

(Dimitri) “How modest you sound, Claude.”

(Edelgard) “We appreciate the attention, mister Nook.”

(Kazuma) “My arms are sore as heeeee-...ck.”

(Megumi) “M-Mine as well, but it was well worth it in the end!”

(Tom) “Now, on the count of three, let’s have a cheer to our new life!”

“HERE HERE!”

The party began with everyone chugging down their drinks, and the music played from the nearby radio.

Aqua entertained everyone with her party magic, and for a grand finale, Megumin cast a powerful and colorful explosion in the skies. As everyone mingled and danced to the music, Byleth quietly slipped away from the crowd.

Megumi was the first to notice and followed her, which in turn made Kazuma follow her.

Byleth sat on the beach, watching the waves glisten from the starry sky above.

(Megumi) “Byleth?”

(Byleth) “Megumi.”

She sat down next to him, and Kazuma joined the two by sitting down as well.

(Byleth) “This...is a bit unsettling. I’ve never had an experience quite like this.”

(Kazuma) “After the first time you kinda get used to it.”

(Megumi) “I don’t understand how!”

(Byleth) “I...think I understand how you two feel now. Being transported to some unknown world, not sure what happened to everyone back at home...”

(Kazuma) “Bah, you got the easy end! We’re in a happy cuddly world, lot better to your war torn world!...No offense.”

(Byleth) “Hm. None taken. My world is the Monastery now anyway I don’t care much for outside of it.

(Megumi) “My old world was...enjoyable...until a certain day...”

(Kazuma & Byleth) “Huh?”

(Megumi) “Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to bring the mood down! This is supposed to be a party after all!”

(Kazuma) “This have something to do with your letter you sent out?”

(Megumi) “Ah...”

(Byleth) “Letter?”

(Megumi) “Well...When you said that this was a world without crisis, and it was Earth in modern times I...asked Tom Nook to send out a letter to some former students I taught and my mother.”

(Kazuma) “What are their names?”

(Megumi) “Yuki, Yuuri, and Kurumi. In short, let’s just say...something happened to me that I was no longer able to talk to them so...If this world is truly as peaceful as you say, I wish to experience it with them. My family as well.”

(Sothis) “Hah, that’s much like her. Thinking about others before herself.”

(Kazuma) “Wouldn’t be Megunee if she didn’t right?”

(Megumi) “H-Huh? Who said that?”

Byleth and Kazuma’s eyes widened and Sothis faded away quickly.

(Byleth) “Um...Anyways, so what are we in for, Kazuma?”

(Kazuma) “Well...if this is like Animal Crossing, we’ll be living here for a good long while. We can pretty much relax everyday and do whatever we want. But uh...we’ll be in debt.”

Kazuma loudly sighed.

(Kazuma) “Even in a kid friendly world, my ass is still in debt...”

(Megumi) “Wait, debt?”

(Tom) “Oh, I wouldn’t phrase it that way!”

Everyone jumped up, hearing Tom directly behind them.

(Kazuma) “JESUS!”

(Megumi) “GAH!”

(Byleth) “WHOA!”

(Tom) “Sorry, I did not mean to frighten, haha! I just wanted to let you all know that everyone is heading back to their tent for some shut eye. I’ll be telling you all what’s in store for your new lives tomorrow!”

They looked at each other and nodded.

(Kazuma) “Well, we’re looking forward to our lives here!”

(Megumi) “Indeed!”

(Byleth) “It’ll be interesting.”

(Tom) “Good to hear it, good night!”

Tom nook waved everyone off and went back to the plaza.

(Byleth) “New lives...again.”

(Megumi) “I won’t waste the second chance of life I’ve been given.”

(Kazuma) “Same here...Wait, what?”

(Megumi) “Good night everyone!”

Byleth and Kazuma looked concerned for a moment, but decided to ignore it. After saying good night, they all went to bed.

[atlascompanymanrs]

@tired-and-toasty-pa​ sent :  “ oh, all your clothes are covered in blood. that doesn’t happen to nice people. ”

“This has nothing to do with nice people.... this is...” He wanted to whimper and he wanted to tear the clothes off. His socks were even soaked and he didn’t want to think about that. These were some of his favorites and now they were completely ruined. “Skag blood. I’m sure... or... not... I don’t know. Those damn bandits are crazy and are spraying people with the shit.”

[asktoastythearcanine]

"Officer Cassandra, we're not here to cause trouble!"

"Tell that to your buddy over there. Last week, he got into a bar fight that nearly burnt down the Pier District. You made a lot of powerful people really angry, Firepaw."

"Hey, what about Guildmaster Artorias? He was in that fight too."

"Guildmaster Artorias paid his fine and spoke with the Commissioner and General, Doctor. You however, fled town while he was covering for your orange keister! Just stop causing problems and get your Certifications out."

"Yeah, here. All paperwork is in order, Officer Cassandra. Just - Chill out and let us in now, please?"

____

OFFICER CASSANDRA MACKENZIE IS AVAILABLE FOR A FEW QUESTIONS

NEW HINTS AVAILABLE:

|| MPs? What's an MP? ||

|| It seems rather extreme to draw weapons on two harmless people. ||

|| Toasty did something that caused a lot of trouble in the Pier District. ||

|| Bandits right at the gates of a city? And the Guild had to take care of them instead of the proper authorities? Seems odd. ||

|| What are those silly little outfits the MPs are wearing? ||

[feral-anarchy]

Untitled

I have no idea how to title things. But here is a short story I made about Runaan first meeting Tinker. Its sad and angst so be warned. Warning also, its unedited so there will be mistakes and typos.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Please! I don’t understand, why won’t you just speak to me? Please stop walking away and just SPEAK to me!”

Runaan ran after Misah, calling after her as she continued to walk briskly away from him and into the woods. The direction she was headed pointed towards the local MoonShadow village which has been their home village for their entire lives.

“No, Runaan.” Misah grit through her teeth far too quietly for Runaan to hear. She wore a pained expression on her face as she continued to walk ever after away from the pleading assassin.

“I don’t understand- why won’t you just TELL me what is wrong? Cannot we not speak to each other? Can we not confide? We used to Misah- MISAH!”

Runaan was now running to catch up, striding with long legs that were used to sprinting at random times as was needed. His muscles not even needing to work hard to propel his body forward in order to catch up. Yet Misah picked up her pace in retaliation until they were both out right running.

The assassin was of course faster and could have easily caught up with the female moonshadow elf who he was calling relentlessly, pain and confusion etched into every word, but he held back, not knowing what would happen if he were to spring forward.

“I- I just can’t Runaan- Stop following me!” Words laced with anger and pain flew back to hit Runaan right in the heart. What did she mean?

“Earlier today we were just fine! What changed? Why have you decided this? Why can I not be a part of this decision? Please I love you!”

At this Misah did pause in her running, slowing down to a brisk walk again and allowed Runaan to catch up. He quickly caught her wrist in his strong hand and halted her forward movement.

He was confused and angry and hurt and he wanted answers.

“Misah..” He started, looking down into her beautiful turquoise eyes not unlike his own. “Misah I-” But she cut him off before he could begin, fearing that if she allowed him to speak she could not say what needed to be said.

“Runaan, I can’t!” She snipped at him, effectively silencing him again as he had moved to speak once more.

“I cannot do this anymore, it is terrifying! The emotional stress I feel when you go off on missions- What would I ever tell our children if we had any what happened to their father if you were killed on one of your mission!?” Sniffling Misah broke their locked gazes, turning away from him but allowing him to still keep her wrist locked in a tight almost painful grip.

“..What. I- I mean I understa…” His words faded from his lips as full understanding dawned on him. It was because he was an assassin, it was because of the risks, the threat of death and the stress he was putting on his lover. Runaan’s shoulders relaxed and he looked nowhere in particular with half lidded eyes.

“But.. Why now? We have been joined together for seven human years Misah.. Why now are you just telling me this? Have you..” He swallowed the dry lump in his throat before continuing. “Have you been carrying the stress of this all this time?” His heart clenched at the thought of causing her so much pain for any amount of time unknowingly.

“I was alright with it.. At first. Of course I was just so infatuated with you.” Misah half chuckled as she recalled their earliest memories together. “But the mission you went on last year, I thought I could get past it but I just.. I could have lost you and then I could have been alone.”

She turned back to Runaan, tears streaming down her milky cheeks. Above them the sky darkened, large weighted clouds drifted overhead in preparation of the heavy rain they were about to deposit onto the ground.

Runaan recalled that mission, he had almost not made it back. A team of six was sent into the human kingdoms to regain a lost child who had been stolen near the border, her family murdered by the humans and their belongings strewn across the thicket they were found in.

When they finally caught up to the murderous bandits it was to late. They had butchered the child for her magical parts to sell for dark magic to the highest bidder. No doubt they had ended her innocent life only hours before his team had shown up.

Runaan will never forgive himself for not getting their in time, he knew he had needed to rush his team onward but he was lax and took the same precautions he always did when crossing the border, which cost precious time. And there ended up being very little need for those precautions as they were more of a formality, a guide he followed when entering into the human lands.

Somehow the bandits had known they were coming after them, or they had prepared to defend themselves in the event that they were followed.

It had been a suicide mission and Runaan had almost not made it back. He lost three of his team on that day, he himself had needed over a week to recover.

Runaan was snapped out of thoughts as words floated to him on a whisper.

Misah was talking again but Runaan need not hear anymore. He stepped back, releasing Misah’s wrist from his grasp and allowed his training as a hardened assassin to take charge.

Rain started drizzling on them and the surrounding forever, the sound like a orchestra of noise all around. The droplets pounding onto the canopy of leaves above to drop down onto the bushes and grass, puddling here or there and wetting the homes of ground dwelling animals.

Runaan’s turquoise eyes were cold and hard, not in anger, but in fear that he would break down, his heart shattering with understanding of their situation.  

The female MoonShadow sniffed, regaining herself and gathering her courage once more.

“I guess this is it then. This is goodbye.” Her strangled words were hard to hear at the wind began to whip up as the storm grew.

It took a moment for Runaan to answer but when he did he sounded as calm and composed as ever, as if he was speaking to someone else about the local market running out of cheese again for the third time.

“Yes.. Goodbye Misah, it has been wonderful with you in my life, but I understand you must go.”

Nodding Misah agreed.

As she turned and started to walk away the downpour from the rain became painful, as if being stung by bees were the droplets hit. Before getting too far and before her voice could be lost within the winds she turned back to Runaan, looking at her now ex lover of several years, the one whom she had assumed to spend her entire life with, to raise children, to make a home and yet here they are now, ending it all.

“Runaan.. I still love you, and I always will.” She turned away from him for the final time, walking towards the lights of the MoonShadow village, away from her current life to start on a new journey all her own.

Runaan stood in the shooting rain, not feeling the sting of the freezing droplets. “I know..” he finally muttered, allowing the tears to finally break free and fall, mixing with the rain.

He stood there in the middle of the dark forest, for how long he did not know or really even care. His beautiful white hair now a wet and tangled mess from having been stirred by the poetic weather. His clothes were so soaked through he might as well have been swimming in a lake. His feet sloshed as he trudged back into the village, the lights all too bright for him at the moment and so he kept to the shadows.

The rain had finally started to let up as he made his way through the streets, cursing and laughing at the way the universe seemed to add that extra bit of drama to his life currently.

Dawn would not be here for another four or five hours and Runaan could not bare the idea of going back home, of returning to all his memories of the life he had been living up until this point.

Nearing his destination he paused, assessing his current ensemble and deciding he really didnt matter. Although he did try to wring himself out a little in respect for the establishment he was about to enter.

Opening the heavy door and slipping in, Runaan was greeted by semi-loud noise, not unlike a calm human bar within the human kingdoms except here in Xadia the noise level was kept at a lower octave as elves tended to have more keen hearing.

He ignored the bar goers and they in turn ignored him. He had chosen a bar he did not frequent often if at all. He was not really a drinker and did not often visit bars save for when friends or family had special occasions, like when his best friend announced his wife’s pregnancy with their first child. They were so excited and it was certainly cause for celebration, they told him they did not care if it was a boy or girl, but that the child was healthy.

Although his friend’s wife did confide in Runaan, telling him she already knew the sex of the child and the name she had chosen.

The next celebration he attended was when baby Rayla was born and he had gotten so inebriated he couldnt walk straight, It had not been a great morning for him the next day.

Now he sat himself at the unfamiliar bar and ordered a drink. The bar keep thankfully not giving him much of a look to his disheveled and dripping appearance and simply serving him his request, a good bar keep indeed.

Runaan was halfway through his third drink, and having not really had any food the whole night, he was beginning to feel a little toasty from the alcohol, when a whistle derailed his train of inner thoughts.

“Wow! Don’t you look the sight!” Chirped a joyful sounding voice. Great, just what he needed, someone being all chipper around him and trying to converse.

“Please, I just would like to be alone right now.” Runaan grunted low. Hoping just his gristly appearance would thwart anyone coming up to him were shattered. He had no patience for anyone right now. He turned away from the person, refusing to even look at them.

However the person was not dissuaded by his grumble and the sound of the barstool next to him scraped loudly against the floor. The person sat themselves down next to Runaan and waved to the bartender.

“You look like youve been through something, here, let me order you a drink” Kindness, joy, a warm feeling that felt like a hug flowed from the mouth of this stranger and reverberated through Runaan’s chest. Annoyance ticked Runaan’s eyelid and he sighed inwardly. This pest wasnt going to go away easily. Perhaps he was just drunk and did not understand the very obvious hints Runaan was throwing at him to go away.

It occured to the hurt MoonShadow that the stranger was talking he idly tuned in.

“So as I was saying I was told theres this beautiful spot to watch the sunrise and I was wondering if You know about it? Haha, im not real great at this small talk but you just looked so sad over here and I thought you could use a friend and -Oh thank you Mr. bartender- Anyways, Like I was saying you just looked so sad and Im new around here so I thought you would know about it and perhaps-”

Runaan had had enough, he spun on the barstool to face his annoying companion, to tell him to shove off and that he was in no mood, his heart hurt and his head was beginning to too, but his words caught in his throat and his breath left him as he finally took a look at his unwelcome companion.

He was a SunFire elf for sure, not very common in the MoonShadow village so he must have been either traveling or moving to live here. He had mentioned he was new around here so it must be the latter.

He wore a scarf loosely wrapped around his neck and the markings on his cheeks had little flicks around the circular pattern, perhaps he had MoonShadow blood in him as well? Half breeds were not common but not unheard of.

The elf paused in his ramblings when Runaan spun on him. His face softened as he looked him up and down, and all over. His lips drew back into a soft smile and his eyes alighted with an emotion Runaan was not ready to even try interpreting.

“Hey.. There you are.” The stranger soothed, smiling at the shocked looking MoonShadow who only gaped at him.

“My name’s Tinker, It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

[cerastes]

Alright, so Toasty and I got together the other day and have since remained in regular contact about the little test project we want to make. He made two prototype tracks (which he is improving upon right now after we discussed them a bit), and I am pretty much done writing the structure of the plot, the sequence in which things will happen, and two out of the three events/puzzles I want. With the skeleton done and the music on the stove, it’s time to wrestle with the maker properly.

So, with that in mind, I want to introduce one of the four protagonists and playable characters: Small Fry #372.

Small Fry #372 is just what the name says: A small-time mook, a two-bit minion, the quintessential cannon fodder that makes the cannons fun to use and the fodder wise to employ. After deciding that this job just doesn’t pay enough to have to put up with it anymore, Small Fry #372 of the Henchwoman class joins your party after you, well, more or less wipe the floor with her and other Small Fries assigned to where you unfortunately for them decide to make your grand entrance into a certain Secret No-Longer-Secret Bandit Base. Since the place is going under and you are the one packing the cannons, might as well join the winning side! This shit-ass place doesn’t even offer dental, and she sure as hell ain’t going back to evil retail (which is just like regular retail, just a bit less awful).

Equipped with an S.F.S.I Gasmask (Small Fry Standard Issue) with a faulty filter that possibly gave her asbestosis (she’s not sure if the coughing is that or just a cold from drinking too much last night and falling asleep in the dog pen) and an S.F.S.I. Combat Coat that grants an imposing total of -3 Defense, Small Fry #372 brings the lowest of the low to your party in terms of equipment and brain cells, but she’s got two things that no Excalibur or Caladbolg Infinity can compare to in terms of raw destructive firepower: A deep-seated bitterness towards her now ex-employer, and a taser. The confusing layout of the Bandit Base is no longer an issue with her knowledge of the building at your disposal! Maybe! There’s a reason why she didn’t ever get a promoted beyond Small Fry! Let’s hope it wasn’t her sense of direction!

(she took the mask off for a second because she’s worried about asbestosis)

Don’t wanna reveal what her combat role is just yet, I’m just gonna say to look forward to delivering justice fueled by resentment towards terrible working conditions in the shape of her graceful signature move, Slam Punk, which might involve a slam (powerful) and a punk (that’s her!).

[kiruuuuu]

Montagne/Bandit oneshot in which Bandit is cold. (Rating T, fluff? kind of??, ~1.5k words) - written for @kapcan because I saw that this ship was missing from your list and so I endeavour to have you add it ♥

.

Bandit is odd. Montagne has been watching him on and off ever since they joined Rainbow, out of the corner of his eye and with a lazy kind of curiosity – the kind where he gladly absorbs every piece of information he comes across yet refrains from seeking it out actively, doesn’t interrogate Bandit, doesn’t approach his GSG9 teammates, doesn’t question the people with whom he hangs around. It’s just that he pays extra attention whenever anyone brings up the notorious German and shelves it away together with all that he’s heard of him so far.

His conclusion: Bandit is odd.

Montagne has been serving his country for more than twenty-five years now and met a staggering variety of people on the job, some of them courageous, virtuous and possessing a strong sense of justice, some of them cowards, bigoted and unethical, and he has yet to meet a person for whom he wouldn’t die. It’s not up to him to decide who lives and who doesn’t, it’s his sworn duty to protect and so protect he does. He fulfils his obligations with a certain sense of pride and with iron discipline – there’s a reason he’s still on active duty and it’s that he’s not only passionate about but also good at what he does. He works best in a team and strives to shield the men and women by his side from any and all harm.

Bandit… doesn’t. He’s cynical, disillusioned, him insulting someone while he’s meant to be professional isn’t a rare occurrence. He acts like his job is yet another obstacle in life he has to overcome, drags his feet and antagonises the people with whom he’s supposed to function seamlessly, and when he speaks of his work, he does so disparagingly. He’s a bit of a lone wolf, too, carries his burdens alone and usually lashes out whenever someone offers to share them. He’s sharp and if anyone spends too much time with him, they inevitably end up bleeding.

.

“The fuck do you mean you didn’t get me a coffee?”, Bandit snarls as he passes the cup on to one of the pale, quiet people who are sitting in the back of their van, most of them wrapped in blankets and wide eyed. They’ve been here for an hour already, out in the cold while waiting for anyone to take these poor people away so everyone can go home. Montagne deals well with frigid climates, his body is not unlike an oven in that it usually produces a ridiculous amount of excess heat which keeps him warm throughout the year (and positively toasty in summer, his least favourite season).

“I told you I can’t carry that much”, Kapkan barks a response which is just as irritated. “Maybe you’ll get a coffee after you’ve been held hostage by a few wannabe terrorists for almost a day.” Much more politely, he turns to his fellow countrymen in the vehicle and says something in his mother tongue which sparks a few tentative smiles. He’s used to this weather and doesn’t seem to be struggling with the icy cold air either – unlike Bandit who’s actually shivering.

Montagne takes pity on him, borrows some local money from Kapkan and sets out again, wades through the fluffy snow and returns to find his two colleagues laughing and joking around with the victims of today’s hostage situation, the atmosphere having lightened considerably. Bandit is apparently using Google translate on his phone to communicate, to which Kapkan chortles before explaining to him what exactly it is he just said. And while Montagne smiles to himself upon seeing the two goof around purely for the benefit of the civilians, it means that Bandit had to take off his gloves to type.

“Oh fuck, you’re a lifesaver.” He sounds uncharacteristically grateful, plucks one of the cups out of Montagne’s hands and holds it with stiff fingers, simply warming them on the cardboard for a second while looking like a drowned cat which is trying to put on a brave face. Montagne sighs and does what he’d do for any other operator in this situation: pull him close and put his arms around him. It’s more of a side-hug because he doesn’t want to interfere with Bandit’s coffee, but the German struggles a bit still, attempts to escape his grasp and complains rudely but when Montagne makes no move to let him go, he eventually relaxes and even leans into him after a while. Once he’s stopped shivering, he twists out of the embrace and goes back to distracting the Russians as if nothing happened.

.

This is why Bandit is odd: ultimately, he does everything Montagne does. He has no doubt Bandit would sacrifice himself for the rest of his team, that he’d do everything in his power to rescue civilians. He regularly goes the extra mile to ensure lives are being saved, he trains hard and does well at his job. He even does good. The main discrepancy between the two of them is his attitude, and the more Montagne watches him, the less he understands it. Part of him wants to shake Bandit and try to talk some sense into him, tell him to pull himself together.

Another part feels a strange, deep-seated admiration for this man who pretends to do so little yet does so much.

.

Bandit has bad circulation. It’s just one of many details Montagne has noticed over time, has added up the pale skin, layers upon layers of clothes and general grumpiness whenever the temperature drops below a certain point and arrived at this conclusion – Bandit’s hands are almost always icy and sometimes, he even seeks people out to leech their warmth, sits uncomfortably close to others or just happens to lean against them. Montagne eventually becomes a target as well after Bandit realises he’s a reliable source of heat and Montagne doesn’t mind. He’d do the same for everyone, has rubbed Twitch’s arms before until she could feel them again, held Rook’s hands until they weren’t as cold as a corpse anymore, so it’s no trouble to put a hand around Bandit’s shoulders or pull him closer by the waist.

When they’re alone, Bandit is even more obvious about it, just sinks into his arms or presses himself against his back for a few minutes and leaves again. They don’t talk much, never have, and what is there to say anyway? Montagne takes care of those around him and Bandit needs him. Still, he notices his gaze lingering on the slim frame for longer than necessary whenever Bandit has gotten what he came for and stalks off again. It’s a bit like getting visited by a stray cat.

Therefore, when Bandit forgets his jacket now and then, Montagne has no qualms about lending him his own. It’s almost comical to watch as Bandit nearly disappears in it but when he notices Montagne’s grin, he huffs, wraps himself in the warmed up piece of clothing and leaves, as usual. He always gets the jacket back, so he doesn’t mind when Bandit borrows it again a few days later. And again after that.

Bandit becomes really quite forgetful about his own jacket which he used to love so much.

.

One morning, Montagne wakes to the sound of birdsong, his body refusing to sleep any more. This happens sometimes, though it’s thankfully rare, and so he gets up without grumbling, dresses and wonders whether he should watch the sun rise. It’s early spring, the nights still cold but getting shorter. He decides to grab an early breakfast, walks the empty corridors towards the canteen while trying not to make too much noise and enjoys the quiet serenity of an extremely early morning, looking forward to spending it however he wants.

All his thoughts come to a grinding halt as soon as he steps inside the large room, however, a lone figure standing by a window and staring out into the near darkness, gripping the windowsill so hard the knuckles have turned white. When he hears Montagne, he turns around. He looks like death, face ashen, clearly hasn’t slept a minute last night, possibly not the night before either. For a moment, they just stare at each other, Montagne trying to come up with something to say or something to do yet is petrified. Bandit is the one who breaks the silence between them.

“I’m cold”, he says and his voice breaks on the second word and Montagne finally understands.

He holds the trembling body close, allows Bandit’s fists to clench in his shirt and listens to him taking deep, measured breaths. He’s unable to help with his sleep, incapable of chasing away whatever keeps him awake, probably can’t drive out the ice which has settled deep into Bandit’s bones, covered his thoughts in a frost so sharp and persistent it shows on the outside, but he can try. Maybe over time he’ll succeed.

For now, all he can do is warm Bandit’s body, rest a hand on the back of his neck and press the two of them together, hope to transfer enough of his own heat to stop the shivering.

[ponygoldboy]

yall no lie today was off to a shaky start but then my KIGURUMI came in like a LEGIT ONE that i have WANTED for SO LONG and now i am a toasty little trash bandit and i think today is going to be okay