#the Tauriel test

[olderthannetfic]

I know about the origins of the Bechdel Test, but I do think it's inaccurate to say it's not meant as a criticism of movies that don't do that. I think that when people stop thinking in binary terms of "is this feminist?" or "is this anti-feminist?" and instead look at things more holistically, that you can recognize both that a character like Mako Mori is great, a step in the right direction for female characters in action movies and especially WOC, go forth and stan her and write all the fanfic you want.... but yeah, it is also a valid criticism of the movie (and many others like it) that she doesn't talk to or have relationships with any other woman in the film.

I think one thing to help people realize just HOW much of women's lives are being left out of media representation when we never talk to other named women about something other than a man in movies, is to just think about your own life. I talk to my mom every day, and if we are not talking about my stepdad or my brother-in-law (and I don't think we've ever had a conversation that wasn't at least IN PART not about them or another man), then it passes the test. I'm a professor and when I talk to a female student about her homework or project (which is, again, something that happens pretty much every day I teach), that's passing the test. If I order food from a female cashier and she has a name tag, that's passing the Bechdel Test! It's literally just constant for the vast majority of women on the planet, and that's what's being left out of our stories.

Like, I like the takes I've seen about how part of the joke in Dykes to Watch Out For is that this is *particularly* alienating to lesbians - as a lesbian myself I agree - but I also think it should be frustrating to straight and bi and ace women as well, because like unless you are like exclusively interacting with your husband or male relatives every single day + you work in a workplace where you are literally the only woman, you are almost certainly passing the test constantly. That's a pretty big part of women's lives that Hollywood is leaving out!

But I think it's important to view it as just one piece of the discussion about feminism and women's representation in film, not the final judge on if a film is feminist or not. Which it wasn't intended to be - as you said, it was mostly a joke on the extreme maleness of 80s action movies. Honestly, I do not miss those days on Tumblr where people were obsessed with declaring certain movies/TV shows/other fandoms they liked as "feminist" or "anti-feminist" and the really bizarre granular discussions people would have between two works that BOTH had a long way to go in terms of representing women. I remember people in the Fullmetal Alchemist fandom would use this to argue about if the original anime or Brotherhood/the manga was better - when both have some fantastic female supporting characters, but are ultimately male-centered stories where even a lot of those women's lives and stories are centered around their male love interests and family members. It's better than a lot of shounen, but if that's your bar for feminism - either version - you have a long way to go (and need to watch WAY more anime because there's sooooo much of it that is female-centric). I also remember people coming up with other tests that were blatantly silly: like I thought the Mako Mori test about "if a woman has a motivation/story that isn't centered on a man" was fair because it did point out a legitimate criticism, but there was that ridiculous "Tauriel Test" where it was "a woman who is good at her job." And it was entirely about someone just disliking that movie critics and feminist commentators alike were down on the Hobbit movie trilogy, which a) were bad movies, sorry you have bad taste, b) are absolutely not where you should focus your attention if you're so concerned about women's representation in film, Tolkein has always been a sausage fest! And her big thing was being mad that people thought Judi Dench's M in Skyfall was a better female character, and so she arbitrarily decided she was "bad at her job" and Tauriel was "good at her job" even though that's completely subjective and can be challenged in both cases.... but also, once again, why are you looking to the fucking JAMES BOND franchise for movie feminism! There's nothing like comparing the relative "feminism levels" of JAMES BOND and LOTR to make it obvious that this is 100% about validating your subjective taste preferences by giving it a "progressive" excuse, not actually about feminism and not actually caring about women's representation beyond how it makes you look good. And yet SO many people took that transparently stupid post seriously. I'd see professional articles mention the Tauriel Test as "one of the new tests" like there was anything serious about it.

And then on the flip side, over-reliance on the Bechdel Test alone led to some clueless conclusions especially in anime fandom, given that anime has an abundance of shows that exclusively feature female characters in school clubs being cute, where those characters are nonetheless two-dimensional archetypes designed for the male gaze. Someone like fandomsandfeminism did a presentation at an anime con that called one of those types of shows "feminist" and some Japanese user eviscerated it, but that just led to the equally shallow fandom analysis of "everything a Japanese person says about anime is automatically more valid" and "any Westerner who wants to criticize anime on feminist/progressive grounds is culturally appropriating and ultimately coming from a place of ignorance, even if they literally have a degree in Asian studies."

Wow, this turned into a rant about the history of bad "feminist media criticism" on this website. Sorry about that, I think I had a point in here somewhere. I guess that the Bechdel Test is indeed a joke and those origins should be understood, but also, I don't think it's wrong to say that it identifies a real problem and one that people could probably take MORE seriously than they do - but as just one part of the conversation, not the Feminism Litmus Test, and certainly not as a dick-measuring contest about whose fandom gets them more progressive brownie points.

--

I think as long as we grasp that the joke is "The bar is so far under the ground that we might as well go home and eat popcorn there", it's fine.

The real issue with the test is that people started thinking a pass was meaningful.

If you say something like "X% of 2020s movies can't even manage this weaksauce level of women existing", that's a meaningful statistic. Even if you got a couple of data points wrong, you're not factually wrong enough for it to matter because X is going to be some massive, massive percentage, and the overall trend is so clear.

But a pass is nothing to celebrate, and that's where we went wrong.

Like you say, litigating which of two big franchises that barely do anything with women wins on tumblr points is idiocy.

I think people are so unaware of what media that genuinely centers women even looks like that it's hard for them to even begin having a discussion.

I personally have been a massive fujoshi type from adolescence, and media that centers female characters isn't actually what I typically want. (Though media that is by and for women and that doesn't give a fuck what men think of this is.) I am also not much of a fan of slice of life in general...

But when I was coming out and figuring my shit out, being able to go buy collections of Dykes to Watch Out For was incredibly valuable to me.

Ditto the other lesbian comic books that were just sitting there in the bookstore. I'm sure if I went back and reread them all now, I could find things to nitpick or ways they were more for lesbians and less for me as a bi girl, but the really distinctive thing they did was let me exist in a world where media isn't all 80s sausagefest action movies where women are not people.

In fact, they were a world where men don't matter terribly much—not because they're dramatically rejecting men in some facile and reactionary way but because... who cares? They just had other priorities... and this was normal.

It feels like people who've never taken a vacation from really mainstream media just have no concept of what it would feel like to exist in some other space.

And I think that's a pity even if, like me, they later choose to go read mostly BL later instead of focusing on female characters or they genuinely love trash 80s action movies despite everything wrong with them. It's not just sexist media that's the issue: it's that feeling like the fish can't see the water it's swimming in.

[tamurilofrivendell]

{Read Story} - {Playlist} - {Inspo}

pairing: Thranduil x Eirien (oc)

included characters: OC elf characters. Feren. Galion. Tauriel. Legolas. Bard.

warnings: sexually explicit scenes, brief threat of rape in a later chapter, violence/battle.

synopsis: It had been many years since the King had thought about taking another to his bed. He suffered many long, lonely nights without his beloved Queen until, after his son leaves him, he cannot handle the silence and he finds himself seeking something in the arms of another. When Eirien finds herself summoned to the King’s chambers out of the blue, she is more than a little confused, but finds herself more than happy to serve her King despite the cost to herself. The biggest rule the King has for this arrangement is to not fall in love with him and it seems such an easy thing to just agree. The Queen may be dead and gone but they are still bound for eternity and will one day reunite. Eirien knows this... but the more time she spends in his company, the more she gets to actually know him, the more she begins to realise that she has already fallen too deep. Eirien finds herself at a complete loss. If she confesses, she will lose him for good, but if she keeps quiet, she will only further torment her already broken heart. As time continues to pass and Mirkwood continues to darken, the threat of Dol Guldur only growing, Thranduil and Eirien continue to be tested at every turn. They have confessed their love to themselves but can they ever confess it to each other?

[babymagi]

Rewatching Magi and I have a thing about women's representation and I'm going through the tests right now and checking off the ones that Magi passes

Bechdel Test (Do 2 or more women have a conversation that's not about men): ✅ - Layla and Sasha and Morgiana all have conversations with each other not revolving around men - Morgiana talking to that one little girl and assuring her that she was going to save them from becoming slave - Etc I realize this is not a lot, this is just from the anime there's probably more in the manga but I don't remember, I mostly blame it on the fact that there just aren't as many female characters 😅

Sexy Lamp Test (Could a female character be replaced with a sexy lamp and the story be fairly unchanged): ✅ (passes bc it fails) - Morgiana plays several extremely important roles and the main characters wouldn't be where they are without her - Arba being one of the main villains in the story that impacts many other character's lives - Hakuei being our first introduction to full-body djinn equips - Scheherazade giving up her life in order to help the main characters defeat the medium in Magnostadt - Sheba creating and being able to save Aladdin during the destruction of Alma Torran - Etc

Tauriel Test (Is a female character good at her job): ✅ - Hakuei being a general and successfully uniting the Kouga clan with the Kou Empire - Kougyoku being Empress and uniting the Kou, Leam, and Kina kingdoms as well as generally being a successful ruler of a large country - Meyers being able to teach a class to be successful magicians - Scheherazade leading an entire Empire into being one of the biggest superpowers in the world - Yamraiha being an incredibly skilled magician capable of inventing magical items to store magoi -Etc

There's other tests but those are the main ones. Well-written women in media are so important and I'm really proud of Magi for being able to pass these tests multiple times, Ohtaka really writes some amazing girls :)

[savingthrcw]

Some helpful links so we can interact more easily: we are mutuals? GO FOR IT. Want to let me know/help me remember which characters I can throw at you? Go to the 'like if interested' post and hit the heart!

navi with wanted connections is HERE.

memes, permission to ship call (permission to have my muse interested), plotting call, reverse meme call

Muses: Kate Austen (Lost) [Open to: canon and canon div. characters I already know // crossovers: yes]: starter calls / Opens - like if interested Sarah Walker (Chuck) [Open to: canon, canon divergent and oc characters // crossovers: yes]: starter calls // opens // threads - like if interested Jenny II, regenerated Doctor's daughter (Doctor Who) [open to: canon, canon divergent and oc characters // crossovers: yes] starter calls - like if interested

Neria Surana, elf mage Hero of Ferelden / potential follower (Dragon Age) [Open to: canon, canon divergent and oc characters // crossovers: yes]: starter calls / Opens - like if interested Lily Tabris, elf warrior Hero of Ferelden / potential follower (Dragon Age) [Open to: canon, canon divergent and oc characters // crossovers: yes]: starter calls / Opens - like if interested Clarke Griffin (the 100, s1-s6) [Open to: a few canon and canon div. characters from the 100 // crossovers: no]: starter calls / Opens - like if interested Alien Jemma Simmons (AoS, s1-s4) [Open to: some canon and div. characters - some ocs // crossovers: yes (selectively)]: starter calls / Opens - like if interested Alex McHugh (Chuck) [Open to: canon, canon divergent and oc characters // crossovers: maybe]: starter calls // open // - like if interested Terra Branford (ff6) [Open to: canon, canon divergent and oc characters // crossovers: yes]: starter calls // opens - like if interested

Testing: Book!Alina Starkov (Grishaverse) [open to: canon, canon divergent and oc characters // crossovers: no]: starter calls // interest checker Show!Alina Starkov (Shadow and Bone) [open to: canon, canon divergent and oc characters // crossovers: not yet]: starter calls // like if interested

Ana Lucia Cortez (Lost) [Open to: a few Lost characters // crossovers: no]: starter calls // opens - like if interested Ellie Bartowski (Chuck) [Open to: canon, canon divergent and oc characters // crossovers: maybe]: starter calls - like if interested Shale (Dao) [Open to: some canon and div. characters - some ocs // crossovers: yes (selectively)]: starter calls - like if interested Cassandra Cillian (the Librarians) [Open to: a few canon and canon div. characters // crossovers: no]: starter calls - like if interested Tauriel (The Hobbit) [open to: canon, canon divergent and oc characters // crossovers: not yet]: starter calls - like if interested

Under request (I won't answer your open starters with them unless given permission!) Ellana Lavellan, elf mage / inquisitor, never follower (DAI) [Open to: canon, canon divergent and oc characters // crossovers: no] - starter calls // threads - like if interested Solona Amell, human mage (??) Eldritch horror / hero or follower (DAO) [Open to: canon, canon divergent and oc characters // crossovers: no] - starter calls // threads - like if interested Emma Swan (OUAT) [open to: Killian, Snow and David // crossovers: no]: starter calls -like if interested

[fantasies-fairytales-n-fics]

Thranduil and Josie Pt. 152- Break Into My heart

Summary: Raven gets poetic. She receives a terrifying vision. The Elvenking is back to his womanizing ways to ease his mental anguish. Two Kings share wine and words. Thranduil and Tauriel converse which ends on a sour note. Narcisse has a surprise for Jo, Her kind words eat at his conscious to the point of a breakdown. The warlock admits something.

*Warnings* strong language, angst, smut,

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

Raven paced around the elven chambers in solitaire that she had to share with Tauriel, fretting about what the Elvenking was going to make the she-elf do to her unborn child.

Would Tauriel really go through with it? Could she go through with it? It was no secret that the elleth didn't care for Raven one bit, but she still didn't seem like one who had a heart to do such a malicious act, especially after how she offered extra care for Raven's wounds in Rivendell when she didn't have to.

Surely, Thranduil was testing the loyalty of his new captain of the guard and that's what worried Raven even more, because she knew how desperate Tauriel was to remain in Mirkwood. Either way, Raven vowed she would never let it happen and would find a way to escape, even if it meant facing the dealers, or even worse...Jareth.

Raven sat down Indian style on the bed with her small bag of belongings and beg and digging through it for a particular book to read in hopes of calming her restless mind. It was one of her favorites by Edgar Allan Poe because it consisted of his complete poetry. She then did what she always did, closed her eyes and opened it to see what message she would receive this time.

As she opened her eyes, she began to read aloud.

"A Dream Within a Dream...

Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now, thus much let me avow. You are not wrong, who deem that my days have been a dream; yet if hope has flown away in a night or in a day, in a vision or in none, is it therefore the less gone? All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar of a surf tormented shore and I hold within my hand, grains of the golden sand. How few, yet how they creep through my fingers to the deep while I weep, while I weep, Oh god! Can I not grasp them with a tighter clasp? Oh god! Can I not save one from the pitiless wave? Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream?"

"Hope...what hope do I have?" Raven asked herself as a single tear strolled down her cheek.

Oddly in that moment, she thought of Jace. Why?? He abandoned her. Could she really blame him though? He hardly knew her and taking on the Elvenking could mean a death sentence for him. Jace had his own issues to deal with, why should he give damn about what happens to her? Why should anyone give a damn about her?

She closed the book with a sigh, for the message only made her feel worse. As she put it away, the glint of Jareth's citrine ring flashed in her face from the candlelight gleaming down inside the bag.

With all the chaos, Raven had forgot she even had it and the question came to light again as to how that slimy ghoul Gollum had gotten ahold of it in the first place? The only thing she could some up with was that the little thief must have stolen it off of Jareth's finger while the goblin king was disabled from Thranduil's light, for she couldn't see Jareth giving it to him for any reason. It was a part of Jareth's power and he would certainly come to reclaim it...and her.

Raven pulled it out, fondling it as she looked it over in more detail. It appeared to just be some ordinary antique but all who knew of it, knew it was anything but ordinary. It wasn't necessarily evil though, it just depended on who's finger it was placed upon. Of course, Raven didn't have the slightest clue how to bring it's magic out, so she did something quite stupid out of curiosity, and slid it upon her finger.

As she gazed upon her own reflection in the golden topaz, something began to happen. Something terrible.

Raven became frozen in some trance like state as her eyes glazed over in a white film...and then she heard him. Jareth.

"Curiosity killed the cat. I knew you were weak and foolish girl."

Her hand shook profusely as his image then appeared inside the stone, creeping towards her in a sinister, yet strangely sexy way.

"You have betrayed me for the last time my love. Did you honestly believe you could escape me? Or that I would simply forget your lying vows of love for me? Those same vows of love that created the life inside of you? You belong to me Raven. You will always belong to me. I will reclaim you, my ring and my child and you will rue the day you ever crossed me. There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. The Elvenking will face my wrath as well. He cannot protect you. I am your King. You will bow before me and take your place at my side for eternity. I am coming. Time...is short."

All that could then be seen was a close up of Jareth's face as he devilishly laughed, and then he vanished as Tauriel walked in.

"He...he...he...kn..knows...he knows about the baby." Raven stammered in fear after she came back to reality.

"Is that what I think it is??? On your finger???" Tauriel asked with beaming eyes and came towards her.

"Stay away from me you baby killing bitch!" Raven shouted and sprung off the bed, rushing backwards with great force right into the stone wall.

Down she slid to her butt, dazed and confused as she repeatably mumbled before she passed out.

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

After viewing you through your moonstone for the second time in Haldir's arms, Thranduil, or more likely the Elvenking, enjoyed some pleasure of his own on the cool December day in his warm outdoor pool. Accompanying him was one of his elleth servants. She had platinum strands like his, although he preferred fiery hair...fiery hair that belonged to you. Because of that annoyance, he purposely chose her for a distraction and to fuck out the relentless ache in his cock that happened every time you invaded his thoughts and he had high hopes it would stop him from envisioning you while doing so.

"My lord...where shall you have me?" the pale blue eyed elf meekly asked.

The Elvenking merely side eyed her, not wanting to see her face.

"There...on the steps. Lean over them."

The young she elf did as she was commanded, laying her chest onto the cold wet stone with the crack of her bottom just barely above the clear blue water.

As he approached her, cock in hand, he noticed she was laying on her cheek to where he could see the side of her unwanted face.

"Face forward."

She turned to glance at him. "My lord, I...I am?"

"Dolth- cín níf!!!" (Conceal your face) he barked.

She squeaked and swiftly placed her forehead down on top of her hands.

"This is not for your pleasure, but for mine. If you wish to receive any, know that I will not wait."

'Y..yes my..lord." she timidly replied as she waited for the sharp sting of his girth.

Thranduil spread her entrance open with his fingers and guided the head of his swollen cock inside with his other, then he released his hand, grabbed her hips and thrust into her.

She squealed into her hands as he began pounding against her, so hard that the water sloshed about in a frenzy to the beat of smacking skin.

His idea failed him miserably as there you were, red hair and all, before him, being fucked like a dog. But the memory he was seeing was nothing of the sort, for in it, he was making love to you, soft, slow and sweet in his chamber's pool. The candlelight danced over your wet back as you moaned and panted for him, immediately bringing him to climax.

Thranduil's eyes closed hard and his mouth hung open as he sped up, ignoring the elleth's orgasmic mewls and only hearing yours. He swiftly pulled out, groaning and stroking his way through his release as he expelled his cum into the water, while in his mind, he secretly called your name.

"Glenn-hi." (Go now) he commanded to the blonde elf. "And do not return to my sight, this day or any day."

She glanced at him in confusion. "My...lord??"

Thranduil's eyes rolled as he pursed his lips. "It would seem I have made the right choice to remove you from my kingdom, for your dense mind is of no use here, nor is your cunt of any more use to me."

He swayed his hand in the air behind him for her to exit as he waded to the other side of the pool to climb out.

After Thranduil relaxed in the remaining sunlight for a moment with his wine, he then slipped back into his attire and headed to the shipping docks in annoyance, as he saw Bard's late barge arriving.

"You are late with the barrels. Are there no means of time in Lake Town?" Thranduil rudely said in his greeting to the captain of the archers and King of Dale.

"King Thranduil. Apologies. I had a setback with some orcs along the way. It is good to see you alive and well."

"It is good to know your vision is still in tact. Unload, reload and be on your way to Dorwinion. I expect extra allowance of time will be given for your next delivery, for tardiness is not acceptable as it may have been while I was...away, but as your properly functioning eyes have witnessed, I have returned and all operations will remain under my rule as they were."

Bard had heard of the trauma inflicted upon the King and was even warned of his changed behavior, but knowing Thranduil as well as he did, he really didn't see any difference in him....yet, for Thranduil's attitude was completely typical. Even so, Bard knew he could hold his own against the Elvenking, who was also his friend.

"Will that include a shared glass of the wine before my departure like always? I have missed my old friend and was very saddened to believe you had passed on."

Thranduil's eyes narrowed as he peered down at the smiling bowman.

"Very well. There are things you need to be aware of before entering Dorwinion. Be quick and join me in the docking tent."

Bard nodded with a bow and began his duties while Thranduil then headed off to patiently wait.

Fifteen minutes later, Bard entered the tent to find the King in his chair, sipping his wine and seemingly lost in thought, for his arrival went unnoticed.

"King Thranduil? I have completed my tasks."

Thranduil did as he had always done and went to the wine table to pour the other King a drink.

"I am in need of more ale in addition to the usual order from Lord Narcisse for an upcoming celebration."

"As you wish. Has your queen returned? I would like to offer my congratulations on the birth of the Princess."

"You may offer them to me, for my daughter was not born of immaculate conception." Thranduil quipped and returned to his chair.

"Of course. Congratulations King Thranduil. I was only hoping to offer them to her in person and hopefully meet the child."

"It would seem you will meet her before I am able to do so. Josephine remains in Dorwinion with my daughter. Legolas is on his way there to return them to me."

"That is good news. I am sure it will be a most happy reunion and celebration that you have planned. Shall I relay any messages to the Queen?"

The Elvenking's jaw was clenching, for he could not stand to continue hearing Bard address you as his Queen, but he knew he must carry on with his charade that you and he would be one happy little family again. He could not risk you knowing the truth as it would delay his plans even further by you possibly refusing to come back and he knew Legolas would not take Leean from you, nor would you allow him to.

"All that you know of my existence is to remain unknown. Although you may arrive before Legolas, he will inform her per my instructions."

"The Queen does not know you are alive?"

"Ahh, I see your brain is working as well as your eyes."

"Thranduil...may I ask why you would not wish for her to know her King is alive as soon as possible? I cannot imagine the suffering she has endured."

"You may not! What concern is my business of yours? You will do as I have ordered or I can and will easily find a replacement for your duties here."

Now Bard knew something was amiss just like he was warned of. Thranduil was referring to his daughter as only his and seemed to have no concern for you. The Thranduil he knew, that loved you beyond the moon and the stars, would not be sitting here drinking wine as if it were just another day. He would have been on his way to Dorwinion himself to be with you, but it was not Thranduil that sat before him. It looked like him, but it was in fact the elf lord he knew before you arrival, the Elvenking.

"Respectfully, how do you expect me to look her in the eyes and not speak of you?""

"Maybe I was incorrect about your brain functions. It is as simple as you are. You do not speak to her at all. That woman and child are nothing to you. You are going there for your compensated duties, unless you would like me to involve myself in your affairs, such as with Baine?"

Bard took a step towards the Elvenking with a scowl upon his face.

"You dare to threaten my son??"

Thranduil stood from his seat and faced the angry bowman.

"I dare to dare as I please. With that said, I threaten no child. I am merely suggesting that he may be better suited for your position. After all, he did assist you, bravely I might add, in Smaug's demise and would take his duties seriously. He would not be concerned, as you are, with Josephine or my child."

"If I no longer work for you, nor will my son. I do not need your compensation, or have you forgotten I am a King as well? What I do for you and other lands are to help others instead of biding my time on a throne, wearing a pretty crown, drinking wine and patronizing others."

Although Thranduil looked upon the man with great dismay of his insult, he expected nothing less from one King to another, especially from Bard the brave.

Bard returned the look, sat his chalice down and without another word or a single head bow, he left.

Thranduil made his way to his chambers, greatly vexed and having enough of the day's occurrences, only to find Tauriel awaiting him at his stairwell.

He found his eyes rolling once again as he walked past her in which she followed him down the stairs, offering a quick bow.

"Unless you have come to inform me that you have completed the task I ordered, I wish to enjoy my evening in peace and solitude." he snapped as he poured another glass of his cherished and mind numbing vintage.

"Apologies my lord, I have not, for I have something you may find of more importance for the time being." Tauriel strongly said as she paced about with worry.

"What could be of more importance than ridding of that creature in the dhampir's womb??"

"This...my lord."

Tauriel extended her arm out and opened her hand to reveal Jareth's citrine gemstone.

The Elvenking's eyes rolled again, but this time, almost out of his head.

"Where have you come across this piece??"

"It was in Raven's possession. I fear she has had contact with Jareth. She claims he is aware of the child."

"It is no child. It is his demon seed."

Thranduil took the ring from her and eyed it over, before pulling out your moonstone that he swore he would not look at again.

"I now have two of the six runestones needed to destroy Jareth. My moonstone and Josephine's are of one piece, but only one of the pair is needed. Haldir possesses another, the emerald. I will inform Legolas to retrieve it."

"My lord...who has the other three?"

"Harker has the crystal prism in which he used as means of torture upon me. Somewhere, there is an amethyst and a pink tourmaline. All six each represent a strength...knowledge, love, birth, strength, destruction and death. I hold in my hands, love and death. Haldir holds birth. Harker holds destruction. Knowledge and strength still remain, as well as the book of shadows, I last recall, Julian concealed the three pages to raise the dead and they also are the only ones that can undo it. When all items are combined, along with Ashmole's spell, it is the only means to Jareth's permanent destruction, which is why he wants them for the obvious reason of preventing it. The issue we currently face are those three pages. It is all that is needed for Jareth to carry out his deadly plan. With Julian under his control, it is only a matter of time before the goblin king is in possession of those, if he is not already."

"My lord...this will be...ruinous."

"How remarkable, your observance of the obvious. I have had enough of this futile conversation and day at that. Come tomorrow at high noon, there will be a meeting before my throne and by the day's end, I expect my demands to be met."

"My lord...if I may inquire...how is it that you desire me to handle the situation? Raven is not going to consume anything I give her, for she is aware of your plan."

"Slow-witted I perceived you not to be. Am I myself slow-witted as well for placing my faith in you?"

"No, of course not my lord, it's just that...there is no other way than...black magic...which is forbidden here....and the price... it comes back on the spellcaster three fold as you know."

"It is not forbidden if I so order it. I am the King of this realm, am I not? And as King, I have sovereignty, also do I not?"

"Y...yes my lord...I..."

"You nothing! Dispose of the evil entity as you see fit or find yourself in contempt of a direct order. I would advise against defying me or I assure you, the worst price you will suffer is my wrath."

"Yes, my lord." Tauriel bowed and rushed off, knowing she was already receiving her karma by Thranduil himself for all that she had done. He could have easily chosen any of is guard to complete the ungodly task, but he intentionally chose her out of spite and, like Raven believed, to test her loyalty. The most obvious though, was that it was to punish Jareth, as well as Raven, for all that they took from the King....you, his daughter and the vast majority of his will and his love.

Thranduil laid the pair of gems upon his desk and sat down, again gazing at his journal, wishing to add another entry, but he knew he would be easily tempted to read his past memories and feelings, so instead, he relished in his wine as he fondled your stone without thought....until he saw you appear inside again without warning.

It now seemed his touch brought you about, like rubbing a genie lamp.

He stood in utter shock, staring down at the vision, for this time he saw you with Lord Narcisse and it appeared to him to be an intimate moment. A kiss.

"How...Josephine?..." he whispered.

Thranduil's heart shockingly burned him in agony. It was nothing like the jealousy and rage he had felt when he saw you with Haldir. This...this was true unexpected pain. Like a thief in the night, you broke into his heart.

As Narcisse arranged the dinner table in his chamber, a knock sounded upon his door. He smiled, knowing it was you by the way you lightly tapped three times.

"Jo...I was beginning to think you had changed your mind."

"No...I was tending to Leean when Haldir showed up." you explained as you went inside.

"Isss....everything alright?"

"I don't know. He knew I was coming here tonight, so he wanted to come stay with Lola and Leean, which I am surprised he even did. Stephane, he heard us outside the door earlier today, about me choosing to stay here with you. Needless to say, he was highly upset and things didn't go well. All we do is fight anymore and I feel so terrible. I miss him...the way things used to be until my mother came back into my life and turned it all upside down. Now I feel like he and I are so disconnected and...it hurts."

"Jo...you don't have to be here with me this evening. Why don't you go spend it with Haldir and try to make things right with him?"

You laughed as you poured some wine. "You...Stephane Narcisse, want me to go spend my night with Haldir instead of you?"

"Is that so unbelievable that I would want you to be happy?"

"No...I know you do, but I made these plans with you...actually we made them awhile ago and they got interrupted so....I want to stay right here, or I would not have came. With that said, is there anymore news on Harker or Bash?"

"Unfortunately no in regards to Harker. My guards are on continuous watch. No one sleeps until he is reprimanded. Bash was still resting but alert. He said he was feeling better and asked me to thank you for what you did for him."

"Well, I will go and visit with him tomorrow and let him know I was more than happy to help him. He's a good man, just like you."

Stephane's eyes fell and he walked off to pour himself a glass of the hard stuff. All the kind things you had said to him lately only made him feel worse by the minute for what he was concealing. He even tried to condone his own actions by telling himself that Thranduil was probably truly dead by now considering he had been imprisoned by Jareth all this time and all the other worldly experiences you had proved it. Even so, it wouldn't change anything though if you were to know Thranduil had been alive and that he kept it from you. It would actually make it much worse for Narcisse...and even harder on you. He was at a crossroads and didn't know which way to go and it was eating him alive.

"Hey, where'd you go just now?" you asked with a concerned smile.

"I'm sorry Jo...I just have so much on my mind."

"I know you do. Come on, let's eat. You went to all this trouble to have it prepared with all of this going on. Try to relax, unwind a bit."

'You're right, as always my lady. I hope it is to your liking." he said with a sly grin.

"Ok, what did you do this time Stephy?" you giggled and quickly lifted the silver lid off the large wooden plate in the middle.

You sucked in a gasp and released a loud squeal of joy as you saw a steaming hot homestyle pizza in front of you.

"Oh...my...god...you didn't."

"I did, for once again, I paid attention." he smiled, and quite big at that to see you so happy. "I cannot take the credit for preparing it this time, but I did inform the cooks how to create it. It has crushed tomatoes, cheese, pork, mushrooms, onions and peppers. I hope that is alright? Oh, and I had one made to be taken to Haldir and Lola too, and dessert."

"Are you kidding?? It's...perfect Stephane...how sweet of you and....you're...perfect too."

"I wouldn't go that far my lady." he chuckled. "Here, let me cut it up for you."

The pie made three large pieces for each of you and you both ate every single piece, including the crust edge, which you never liked, and then you indulged in warm cherry pie, also specially made for you.

'Alright, I cannot eat another bite or I am going to burst." you laughed. "Thank you Stephane...so much for this. Two delish pies of perfection."

"I am just happy to see you smile."

"Well, that's because of you. I...I am really happy that I will be staying here for awhile with you. I know I have to go back to Mirkwood at some point...for Legolas. I know he misses Leean and they shouldn't be separated. But, I have a feeling it's going to be quite some time before I can go back. It is far too dangerous right now."

"Jo...I..I don't ever want you to leave. I know you must...but...I..I will never see you. It is not like Mirkwood is just down the road. It's miles away."

"Stephane, when all of this is over and it's safe, I can travel to see you and you can even come see me. We could rotate months." you jested, but Stephane didn't laugh. Instead, he quietly got up to go get another drink, his hand trembling as he poured it.

"Steph, it will be alright? It's only a few days travel. I can hitch a ride with Bard on his deliveries. I will always want to see you. You...you mean a lot to me and you're always here for me when I need you."

Narcisse guzzled his whiskey and then sat down in another chair as he rubbed his hand over his face, obviously upset....and then...he just broke down crying.

You didn't know what was happening or what to do. This was so unlike Narcisse. The tough and strong warlock you knew was now merely a lost little boy, but you of all people knew one could only be strong for so long when the world was crumbling around you.

Slowly, you approached him with compassion. When he realized you were standing before him, he stopped his tears and rolled his embarrassed glistening eyes up to you.

You knelt down and took his tear soaked face into your hands.

"Stephane, sweetheart. What is it?" you softly asked as your concerned eyes studied his.

"Jo...I..I know this is not like me...but...I cannot keep this inside any longer."

His hand raised to your cheek, stroking your hair behind your ear.

"Ok? Talk to me. You can tell me anything. I am here for you as you always are for me."

Narcisse closed his eyes and sighed, then lightly traced your lips with his fingertips.

"Jo...that rare jewel I once told you I have yet to see of love? I found it...I....I...love you..."

Your eyes widened and you found yourself speechless, except for the small gasp that escaped your lips.

"You...do not have to say anything Jo. I just needed you to know....and I...I don't want you to go away. I've never felt this way and I am terrified of losing you..."

You still couldn't speak as you gazed into his sincerely love filled eyes of teary blue. Instead, you found yourself pulling his lips to yours.

@redeemer46

[unendingwanderlust]

Hey, party people! It's that time of the year again! Links will be added as each story is uploaded to AO3. Happy reading!

2023 KINKTOBER MASTERLIST

DAY 0: TENTACLES  | Eldritch!Maglor/OFC (Eärmírië) Maglor after the First Age, Loss of Virginity, Fluff and Smut

Turns out, there’s more to the terrifying tentacle monster that haunts the caves near Mithlond than meets the eye…

DAY 1: SEDUCTION | Celegorm/Oromë Years of the Trees, Valinor, Forest Sex, Anonymous Sex (or is it?)

The annual hunt is Celegorm’s favorite time of the year: a thrilling chance to prove himself. Not only to compete with his dear cousin Aredhel, but also an opportunity to prove his worth to the one he reveres above all...

DAY 2: INFIDELITY | Míriel/Indis/Finwë Established Relationship, F/F/M Threesome, Femdom (Domme!Míriel), Humiliation, Cuckolding

“I suppose I understand why you asked the Valar for a second wife,” Míriel says. “So that you could disappoint both of us with how atrocious a lover you are…”

DAY 3: GENDERPLAY  | Elrond/GNC!Celebrían Established Relationship, Gentle sex, Romance, Sex in a tent

In Valinor, Celebrían returns to life in a male body. Elrond is more than happy to help her navigate this change and discover what it means for their marriage…

DAY 4: NON-PENETRATIVE SEX | Maedhros/Fingon Exes to Lovers, After Thangorodrim, Laws and Customs Among the Eldar (and all their loopholes), Angst, Part of the A World Of Our Own series

“Is there another in your life?” Maedhros asked.

Fingon’s fingers paused where they had been rubbing back and forth across Maedhros’s scarred back, comforting.

They had separated for such a long time; a wound that Maedhros had carried all the way across the Sea, never to heal. Surely someone would have caught Fingon’s eye in the meantime, and Maedhros needed to know. He had already suffered unspeakable humiliation and pain; what was another stab through his heart?

So, Maedhros looked deep into his cousin’s eyes, daring Fingon to be the one to finally break him...

DAY 5: PIERCINGS  | Thranduil/Maglor Modern Middle-earth, Complicated Relationships (now that's an understatement), Denial of Feelings, Angst, Sequel to Glory Days, Long Passed

One day, Thranduil will tell Maglor to lay off the sweet talk because he clearly doesn't mean it… and it even sounds romantic sometimes.

Not today. Thranduil can pretend it’s genuine for a little longer...

DAY 6: DUBCON | Werewolf!Maedhros/Fingon After Thangorodrim, Established Relationship, Forest Sex, Multiple Orgasms

“It is going to happen tonight,” Maedhros says.

That grabs Fingon’s complete and undivided attention...

DAY 7: SIZE DIFFERENCE | Buffy/Dragon!Giles Established Relationship, Romance, Smut and Fluff

Giles could rip her to ribbons if he wanted to; the Watchers’ Council wants her to believe that he is going to despite his charming veneer.

Buffy knows better…

DAY 9: QUIET SEX | Buffy/Giles Established Relationship, Library Sex

Buffy was supposed to help Giles sort his tomes. Somewhere along the way, she gets distracted…

DAY 11: SEX TOYS | Sigrid/Tauriel Modern Middle-earth, Fluff and Smut, Love Confessions, Older woman/younger woman, Part of the There Goes The Neighborhood Series

It's a lazy Sunday morning in Minas Tirith. Golden sunlight filters through the curtains, gleaming in Sigrid's hair, making her skin glow.

And Tauriel has it bad for her...

DAY 13: SEX POLLEN | Buffy/Giles Magic Made Them Do It, Dubcon, Forest Sex

As if being teleported to an ancient forest wasn't scary enough, that strange striped flower has to explode in their faces!

DAY 15: PEGGING | Buffybot/Gilesbot Established Relationship, Roleplay (it's really corny), Humor, Part of the Do Androids Dream Of Elecric Hearts? Series

In which Gilesbot updates his own software with a great new feature, and Buffybot helps to test it…

DAY 16: MASTURBATION | Aredhel/Nerdanel Voyeurism, Fantasies

Frankly, Aredhel understands her uncle. If she had a wife like Nerdanel, she would constantly get her with child too...

DAY 17: EDGEPLAY | Vampire!Gimli/Legolas AU - Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fusion, Secret Relationship, Part of the Slayers and Watchers of Arda series

The last person Gimli should be fucking is the Slayer's only son. And yet, neither he nor Legolas can stay away from each other...

DAY 22: RITUAL SEX  | Buffy/Giles Succubus Curse, Sex Magic

With their eyes fixed to the floor, they take off their clothes in awkward silence. The reason why they're even here and why they need to perform this ritual hangs from between Buffy's legs: large, hardening, and impossible to ignore…

DAY 25: WET DREAMS  | Thranduil/Thranduil’s Wife Pre-Relationship, Second Age, Part of the A World Of Our Own series

If stupid Mordor and the war did not plunge Laergliriel into insanity, then overhearing Thranduil's late-night, private activities would...

DAY 28: DADDY KINK  | Buffy/Giles Established Relationship, Humor, Fluff and Smut

A new experiment in the bedroom gone wrong... or wonderfully right!

DAY 31: LINGERIE  | Thranduil/Thranduil’s Wife Horror, Frankenstein AU, Folklore, Magic, Unexpectedly wholesome given the premise

A lonely ancient widow sets out to create a perfect companion, but she ends up reanimating an equally lonely prince instead. What could possibly go wrong?

[postmail]

yea tauriel is cool and all but i don’t think she actually passes the bechdel test. which is kind of a new low for a movie from 2012

[swordoaths]

Also Friends, I am SO EXCITED to write this weekend. I am speaking it Into Existence. It Is Going to Happen. The focus, I think, will be Tauriel and Éomer replies. I have also been turning over adding Bard the Bowman in my head so much lately that I believe I'll gently toss him in as a test muse. (I just can't presently think about reworking car.rd and adding all the links surrounding another muse.)

[qapsiel]

Are there any kinds of characters you'd AVOID interacting with, OC or canon-wise (either because of the fandom they're in or because there's some aspect of the character you don't like)?

Oh boy, that's a very good question. I had to think about this for a hot second. Generally, I'm very open-minded to all sorts of characters. I personally find it hard if I don't know the fandom the character is from AT ALL and if it's obvious that you need some background knowledge to understand what's going on.

Or fandoms that clash with my character's fandom - e.g., a Lord of the Rings muse and Cas? Is tricky unless you blast one muse into the multiverse, but that gets boring if you do that too often. So I tend to not follow characters from those fandoms.

I guess what I avoid are characters with historical inaccuracy. Like, don't get me wrong, I don't come after people with a pitchfork bc their middle ages European muse is eating potatoes, I'm talking about big stuff like a female muse who fought in the US army (at the front!) during World War II - stuff that was Not possible. Or other illogical things like the child OC of three (!!!) characters. Yes, it was a test tube baby, but man. That's not how biology works, okay. So yeah, I totally avoid that.

Canon wise, I can only think of two characters I'll block on sight bc I despise their very existence 😂 and that's Tauriel from The Hobbit and Sybil from Spartacus.

[twicearoundthebend]

Thank you @biblionaute for the ask game q’s!

4- a story idea you haven’t written yet

One that I’ve been thinking about for a While is a conversation between Legolas and Arwen about love and death. The choices they plan to make and how to cope with the unknown- with the fact the person they love most has to leave this world eventually, and there’s no real way of knowing if they’ll be able to find each other in the afterlife. How to still have hope when there is so little to base it on. Just- the parallel between Arwen staying in middle earth for Aragorn, and Legolas building a boat so Gimli can go with him to the undying lands will never not make me sob. (And also I love writing about Tolkien afterlife in general :)

18- if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

From my Rapunzel fic, I had a whole extended prologue I deleted, but I really loved the conversation in it between Legolas and Tauriel! This is one of my fave parts-

He froze, then took a trepidatious step forward. Each step measured, like a skater testing their weight on a newly frozen pond. He sat at the edge, legs dangling above the drop. He couldn’t meet her eyes.

25- besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

I love to bake! I’ve made about 6 dozen cookies this week lol. I also have a bunch of succulents I’m trying to keep alive (7/10 success rate atm) and am getting into painting :)

[amarthfaeg]

VERSES 𖬺͟ MUSES :

( high muse indicated with a * , muses in testing indicated with ** )

lotr / tolkienverse :

· arwen undómiel ( canon )

· éowyn ( canon )

· tauriel ( canon )

· arondir ( canon )

· eryniel of lórien ( original character ) *

· haldir ( canon )

· idis ( canon )

twilight / wwdits / vampire verses :

· katrina denali ( twilight, canon )

· juliet monroe ( verse flex, original character ) *

· nadja of antipaxos ( wwdits, canon ) *

· john mitchell ( being human uk, canon ) **

· annie sawyer ( being human uk, canon )

· daisy hannigan-spiteri ( being human uk, canon ) **

twisters :

· kate carter ( canon ) *

· tyler owens ( canon ) *

hit man :

· gary johnson ( canon ) *

doctor who :

· eleventh doctor ( canon )

· twelfth doctor ( canon )

new girl :

· nick miller ( canon )

one tree hill :

· peyton sawyer ( canon ) *

misfits :

· alisha daniels ( canon )

you :

· love quinn ( canon ) **

shadow & bone :

· nina zenik ( canon ) **

avatar ( james cameron ) :

· neytiri ( canon )

· nova selfridge ( original character )

the gray man :

· yara sosa ( original character )

slavic folklore :

· rusalka ( headcanon based )

la la land :

· mia dolan ( canon ) **

zootopia :

· (human) judy hopps ( headcanon based ) **

one day :

· emma morley ( novel and series based ) *

… more muses tba ! ♡

⠀

[tamurilofrivendell]

Beauty and the Beast | Chapter 4

Previous Chapters [1, 2, 3,]

Pairing: Thranduil/Fem. Reader Summary: A Beauty and the Beast inspired tale with Thranduil the Elvenking and a human reader from a nearby settlement. Taglist (let me know if you wish to be added): @captainchrisstan​, @rebleforkicks​

Thranduil’s fast, furious footsteps carried him down the hall in the direction of the private dining area he shared with his son. Upon his arrival he pushed the door roughly, causing it to bang off the wall behind it. Legolas lifted his head at the intrusion but he didn’t look surprised. He had been expecting this.

“You gave her a room?!” Thranduil practically snarled, pacing towards the table. “Must you insist on disobeying and undermining me at every turn?”

“Father.” Legolas sighed, shaking his head. “Be reasonable.”

Thranduil’s eyes flashed with rage as he regarded his son. “Reasonable? Do not test me, my son.” He stared silently for a moment. “That girl, her father. That man somehow got around my guards, broke into this realm, and assaulted you. And you wish to what? Reward his pitiful excuse of a daughter? For what purpose? She is my prisoner in his stead, my boy, she is not a guest here.”

“Father.” He said again, a moment after letting him rant on as he needed to. “That man was unwell, you know this, he had to have come across the river. He was not in his right mind. The wound he gave me was not deep, it had practically healed already.” He gestured to his right arm, the top of which had been the victim of the man’s dagger in his state.

“Excuses.”

“Reasons.” Legolas continued, ignoring the warning raise of Thranduil’s eyebrow at the interruption. “Listen to me. This girl... she cannot go anywhere. She cannot get out of these halls. She is still, for all intents and purposes, your prisoner if that is what you wish.” He paused, studying his father’s face. “You said she was to live out her days in this kingdom, you did not specify that she were to be caged for the entire time in a cell.”

Thranduil’s eyebrow arched even higher as he stared his son down. Legolas had stayed in the forest when the girl was brought in but Tauriel had obviously told him of the entire exchange in the throne room and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes at how close the two of them had become.

He could tell that his son was not going to back down on this for some bizarre reason that Thranduil simply couldn’t comprehend. Why all of this energy over mortals? “There will be a guard posted outside of that room at all times.” He snapped. “If she so much as blinks in the wrong direction, you will both be punished, do you understand me?”

“Yes, father. Thank you.” Legolas forced himself not to smile at the win, bowing his head respectfully to Thranduil.

The older elf snorted, unsatisfied, and turned and strode from the room, robes billowing behind him.

Legolas allowed his expression to crack then, a small smirk appearing on his lips as he turned back to his plate.

“Why are you doing this?” Tauriel wondered as she looked back at Legolas. “You’re only going to antagonise him.”

The two of them had met later that same day in the training grounds to practice together, though this was mainly just an excuse to spend time together.

Legolas smirked, shifting his foot as he blocked a blow from Tauriel’s sword. “As his son, I believe that is in my job description.”

Tauriel gave him a look, an amused smile beginning to tug at the corners of her own mouth. “Legolas.”

He shook his head. “Come on, Tauriel. The girl has done nothing wrong, she does not deserve to rot away in my father’s cells. He says a lot of things when he is angry, that does not mean they must be set in stone.”

“He is the king.” She reminded him.

“Yes, he is the king.” Legolas agreed, dodging another blow with a chuckle. “He is also my father and you and I both know that that is his weakness.”

Tauriel laughed at that, shaking her head at her friend. It wasn’t a lie, really. Since the death of the Queen, Legolas’ mother, everybody was fairly certain that Thranduil’s son had been what kept him going, kept him holding on when he might have wanted to just let go and drown in his grief. Legolas had been an elfling at the time and could barely even remember his mother, much to his dismay. Time and the memories had turned his father into this harsh, unyielding king with a reputation of being cruel, especially outside of these lands. In the kingdom, however, despite his temper and his hardness, everybody knew that he was a good king. That he did what he did and made the choices he made for his people. The Woodland Realm would endure, he said, and would always do so, no matter what he had to do.

However, some things had perhaps gone a little too far. Legolas thought that perhaps his father had retreated too much into himself and pulled the kingdom with him. He thought that they were a little too isolated, too cut off, especially if they would ever be in dire need of help or aid. Who would come if his father continued to push away trade and allyship with most of the surroundings towns and realms? Legolas understood his father but he didn’t often agree with everything and he certainly didn’t agree with this. His father’s distrust of humans, of mortals, and his fear over his son being injured (and the harsh reminder that he too could be taken from him) had driven him to act, once more, in anger.

Legolas wanted to try and show him that there was another way, that his worry was unfounded, that he could not control everyone and everything around him. He could not control the events of the world no matter how hard he might try. Legolas wanted to try and get his father to understand things from his perspective and maybe this poor mortal girl would be a good starting point for him to try and get that to happen.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.” Tauriel told him, though she was smiling softly, spinning to dodge the downswing of his sword.

The room was much larger than your cell and you spent a short time looking around it. No weapons stashed away, not that you really expected there to be, but you had to at least look. The door had been unlocked when you’d tried the handle but there was obviously somebody standing guard outside so you hadn’t had much hope of escaping that way. You’d be grabbed before you could get two paces and probably thrown back into the cell.

You still couldn’t understand what you were doing here. Why were you in this room? Why had the prince let you come here? Did the king approve? You didn’t think anything could really happen without the king’s consent but you also couldn’t imagine him suggesting or allowing this to happen, especially not with the reception he’d given you, and the fact your father had been in the cell for the three days since his capture and you’d been moved to this room the same day. You assumed, at least, time was difficult to track properly.

A polite she-elf had come to the room and offered you some tea and asked if you needed anything else. You were too shocked to do or say much of anything, still completely confused about where you had found yourself but your mind was slowly forming the beginnings of a plan. You would get out of this room and you would return back to the village, to your father.

Once the maid had left and the door had once again firmly closed you inside, you got to work. Gathering every sheet you possibly could from the bed, and some spares from a nearby drawer, you began to tie them all together by the ends, creating a kind of fabric ladder that you were going to try to use to get out of the window. Though from the height that you’d seen as you’d glanced outside earlier, you thought you’d probably need many, many more sheets. However, there was a ledge that you thought you could reach and for now that was your goal. You would figure the rest out later.

[soralinklokidottirofmirkwood]

The Hobbit x neko heterochromic teen reader part9.

Smaug’s attack on lake town.

You wake up to the sun rays in your face.

You slowly sat up but yelped when you felt the sting on your backside from the night before "Dad's spankings are brutal." You said rubbing your still stinging bottom threw your nightgown. You crawled out of the bed to start your morning.

As you did Anna comes in to help you get ready "I heard you got disciplined last night." She said helping you take off your night gown and putting on one of your tailored tunics and a pair of leggings (carefully with your still sore bottom.) "Yeah we went outside so I can just let my powers out but we lost track of time. Dad was so furious and I ended up telling him we're Tauriel and Legolas went." You said shivering at the memory of Thranduil's glare and the blows.

After getting ready you went to breakfast but when you got there you can hear Thranduil telling your bodyguards/friends their punishment "You three are on stable duty when Y/N is in her lessons for a month!" He said sternly "ah Anna you are to watch Y/N while she's in her lessons!" He said seeing you and Anna walk in but they turned firm on you "And Y/N I expect a good report from Cathrine or I'll turn you over my knee again tonight do I make myself clear!?" Gulping you nodded "Yes Dad." You said fearfully "He's so going to use that voice on Legolas and Tauriel when they return." You whispered to Anna "Ohh yes I am and then I'm going to banish Tauriel." He said making you look at him eye wide 'Legolas is going to kill me.' You think in terror as you and Anna went to get breakfast.

Your POV:

After breakfast Anna walked me to my lessons, as I sit at my desk Mrs Cathrine began her lesson with math my least favorite subject but I didn't complain.

Later that night:

It was now dinner time I was eating my soup when Dad spoke "So Y/N how did your lessons go?" He asked calmly.

I showed him the results of the surprise test Mrs Cathrine gave me to see if I have been paying attention in class and I passed with 90% and 100% "That's what I want to see, I don't want to see anything lower than an 80 or 70!" he said looking at the test results.

After dinner Anna and I head back to my chambers so I can bathe but as we're walking we see Meludir, Estel and Elrolith walking in with hay all over them, sweating and smelling like horses "Dad doesn't play around with his punishments." I said walking into my room and heading to my bathing chamber to start the water.

As I'm taking off my tunic I heard roaring and a deep voice.

Looking out my window I see a dragon flying out of Erebor covered in molten gold and flying towards laketown "Smaug." I whispered praying to the Valar that Tauriel, Legolas, Bilbo, the dwarves and the People of lake town are ok but sadly fate wasn't on my side tonight when I saw Smaug breathing fire setting Laketown on fire.

My body went numb from the flaming buildings in Laketown, reminding me of the night I lost S/N “Valar help us all” I whimpered in fear as I stared at the orange glow of lake town in the horizon.

[nocompromise-noregrets]

five good things

time for a follow-up! things have improved a bit since I made the last one of these. Let's see...

Placebo were absolutely awesome, they played so many of my favourites, and my friend and I got almost to the front at one side so we could see pretty well too. It was utterly sweltering, and we had to queue for an hour to get out of the car park so I didn't get home until 1.30am and was utterly wrecked for the rest of the week, but it was so very worth it. I've adored them since they first appeared on the scene, and so many of their songs are woven into my soul; it was so good to see them again.

I had my doctor's appointment yesterday, and depending on the outcome of the blood tests I have to have in a couple of weeks (which may explain some of the other things that are bothering me - or they may just be further symptoms of Age-Related Loss of Plot, so we'll find out one way or the other) I ought to be getting onto HRT fairly soon. Which will hopefully sort me out, thank fuck for that. I used to be sunny-natured and happy, but I haven't felt that way for longer than I can remember - I want that back. And then if the HRT doesn't sort me where that's concerned, we can look at other solutions. Phew.

I have a four-day weekend this week, as I did two days at job number two last week (on top of the Placebo gig, it nearly broke me), so I've spent today chilling out and attempting to be less exhausted, having not slept particularly well for days.

I've finally finished (I think!) the reincarnation AU from @piyo-13's glorious artwork, so once that's beta'd I'll get it posted. Super excited about this one!

I treated myself to a couple of Hobbit Lego sets secondhand off ebay, having been inspired by @mastererestor's Imladris adventures (I'm still eyeing the Rivendell set but I want to work up to it, not having done anything but tiny sets for about 35 years) - I have Mirkwood Elf Army, with Thranduil and Tauriel, and Attack on Lake-town with Bard, Bain and Tauriel, so I have both of the bi widower dads :D :D :D and have made a start on the Mirkwood Elf Army, it has a catapult!

We watched the Full Monty TV series over the last couple of days, and it's all cheeky larks but the underlying tale of Horse falling through the gaping cracks in our deliberately austerity-filleted so-called welfare system is utterly, tragically heartbreaking and I cried a lot. Which I probably needed...

I still haven't been out on the bike, because the battery was flat when I went out there last week and it took us a couple of days to get it charged, but it's ready now and I'm getting it MOT'd tomorrow so I can tax it and renew the insurance. So that'll be the first time I've been out since last autumn, and it's only up the road but it'll do.

I'm rereading Fellowship and really enjoying it (it's been so long since I've had the energy for reading an actual book), and I'm also listening to the Andy Serkis audiobook, which is brilliant. He does all the voices (I'm only up to Gandalf telling Frodo about the Ring, so I haven't heard most of them yet) and it's just so enjoyable. Who knows when I'll have time to listen to the whole thing through, but whatever.

Right. That's enough for now, I think. If I can only get some proper sleep I'll be sorted...

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

The Marali Festival Commentary Day 5

And we’ve reached the end of the commentary for this story! Thank you so much everyone who has stuck it out this long, reading my HEAVILY detailed notes. (I like talking about this stuff 😭) And I hope everyone is ready for the accompanying drabble I have prepared for tomorrow. 👀

**SPOILERS FOR THIS FIC BELOW**  

Chapter 13- Kiss

Okay so this was my FAVORITE chapter to write. But, I’m always a sucker for confession scenes.

“Did you accept Tabor’s suit?”

Bilbo wanted to scream and rant and throw things. Stupid obtuse dwarf! Did he sound like someone happily courting another?

“No, I didn’t.” He snapped back.

Silence again.

“Bilbo, malkânê (my hobbit), mudùmê (my comfort) please open the door.”

The RELIEF I hope was physically palpable from Thorin right here as he rushes to spew endearments knowing Bilbo is still blessedly single. 

“Not your fault. I’m sorry that I’ve ruined our friendship with my stupid…” Bilbo mumbled.

“No! No, Bilbo. I’m afraid you’re misinterpreting my words.”

“That’s entirely the problem! I’ve misinterpreted this whole time that you…”

Thorin rolled his eyes before his lips locked onto the hobbit’s own. Bilbo froze before he slowly began to look up, hoping against all hope he didn’t just imagine that.

“Malkânê, my hobbit.” Thorin translated as he pressed a kiss to Bilbo’s forehead. “Mudùmê, my comfort.”

Another kiss, this time to the tip of Bilbo’s nose.

“And amrâlimê, my love.” He breathed before kissing Bilbo on the lips once more.

This was one of my favorite things to write! Thorin spelling out what he’s been saying in khudzul with kisses inbetween.😊

“I created a garden of my own. That’s how hobbits court? With flowers? It seemed appropriate for a day to celebrate the earth.”

Let it be said that Thorin’s ‘courting gift’ here was going to be more of a test in universe before Fili, Kili, and Tabor’s interference. Does Bilbo like it? Does he think it’s a romantic gift? Yes? Time to actively court him now! But, Bilbo’s basically confessed at this point so he has his answer.

“Just once, plainly, for me…tell me you love me?” He whispered fearfully, shutting his eyes against the idea of rejection now.

A string of kisses traced his jaw before finding his lips once more. Chaste, questioning, but present.

“Bilbo Baggins, I love you.”

Words of affirmation are definitely a Bilbo Baggins love language. Of course, if I had just had my heartbroken to be stitched back together .5 seconds later, I’d probably want the reassurance as well.

Chapter 14- Fireworks

So back-tracking to this Valentines’ list I’ve been using. The final day was actually supposed to be ‘First Date’. But when I started plotting this out, I again, changed it to fit my purposes...even though it sorta was a first date. 

“What’s got you down, Tabor?” Fili questioned.

“I was demoted!” He whined. “And no, before you ask. Not to guard duty for your idiots. I’m on gate duty for the next two months!”

Was Thorin a bit harsh? Probably. But also you know, his hobbit. 

Both of his nephews flailed dramatically. His youngest trying to plead with his beloved for mercy.

“I actually would have been much worse. You should thank him for showing you leniency.”

Thorin had to fight down the grin when Kili did just that with a whiney edge to his voice. He was not about to let the elf know he was amused.

And that’s was the moment Tauriel won over Thorin.

“Surprised at our courting?”

“Surprised it had not happened already.”

Thorin found himself snorting at the wizard’s wink and twinkling eyes. Honestly, he was as bad as his sister.

“Yes, well. Not for a lack of trying. Do you know how many blackberry tarts I’ve baked for this dwarf?” Bilbo sniffed with a put on expression.

Wait…blackberries?

I had to make Gandalf not only a Bagginshield shipper, but the only one to understand all the subtle hobbit hints Bilbo had been dropping while Thorin stands there like ‘wait, what?’

Thorin just watched as Bilbo’s delight lit up in shades of red, green, and blue with each explosion overhead. Slowly, he backed away from the hobbit moving to the small boulder that hid Thorin’s final surprise. He had not intended to give it tonight. He wanted to wait and let it be his next courting gift, but after he finally left Bilbo, he spent all night finishing his project. He didn’t want there to be a single doubt of his desire to make things official between him and his hobbit.

Bilbo realizing he had slipped away, turned to face him only to blink in surprise at the object thrust between them. The metallic bouquet with jeweled flowers lit up under the falling lights of the fireworks. Edelweiss for devoted courage, hydrangeas for gratitude, sweet pea for delicate pleasures, and yellow tulips for the sunshine is in your smile. A courting gift worthy of a hobbit. Thorin couldn’t say anything as he gently took Bilbo’s free hand in his own. Not that he needed to. Relief swam on Bilbo’s face as the flowers said everything Thorin couldn’t.

SHAMELESS PLUG FOR @stardryad-random​ and her AMAZING illustration. 😭😭 It really helped to make this story just that much more special. Thank you my friend!!

AND THAT’S THE END!! Cue the fireworks... 🤣 I also wrote a smut sequel, but I’m not going to commentate unless someone specifically requests. Otherwise, thank you guys for all your love for this fic!  💖💖

[scotisfr]

Have a Happy Hobbit Holiday 2019 There is my participation of the year 2019. It was a gift for PidgeLettaConChetta (on AO3) and I had a lot of fun testing 3D stuff and painting it. " A glimpse of life in the Chez Bilbo café.

Kili and Tauriel are on a date, but Kili is much more interested at the moment to see that his uncle is interested in someone… Is he flirting? And is Bilbo the café owner and barista flirting with his uncle? In the background, the Ris brothers are engaged in a lively discussion. "