#the POINT is. i WANT to see more stuff ig where like. yeah they do just kill each other for fun!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
chipjrwibignaturals · 1 month ago
Text
I am in full support of people taking the life series seriously, really truly, but some part of me can never get past the fact this is just the hermits doing a larp with varying levels of structure. what is wild life if not 'oh god what did the dm (grian) brew up this time'. what is 3rd life other than a bunch of idiots in a field hitting each other with sticks.
57 notes · View notes
goldentigerfestival · 8 months ago
Text
Since I'd been talking a lot about JP Vesperia (primarily Yuri and Flynn and the heavy changes that surround them, and because I'm highly passionate about them in their original context), I wanted to compile some more jarring if not outright glaring mistakes in the localization (or what were likely intentional changes, because I can't look at some of these and just call them "mistakes"). I'm not going to mention every little change throughout the game, so smaller things I'll mostly be leaving out (namely things that don't really affect characters or context). I primarily just wanted to give some insight on some of the bigger parts.
Some of the changes seem to have been mistakes in translation itself (not just localization, but misunderstanding what was being said in general; such as, there's an instance I mention of that between Patty and Don), so I've got some mentions hanging around for clarity purposes as some scenes didn't make much sense, likely because of this.
Vocal tone with Yuri was the most prominent issue that got me making this, and the context that was changed being right after if not equally next to that (most often also with Yuri but also Flynn).
This is something that has been bothering me for a while and I've been wanting to share this stuff with people interested in seeing the game with its original context. Generally speaking, the plot and story themselves are on point. The majority of the differences surround Yuri and Flynn respectively, so there's going to be a lot of mention of them throughout.
I've also posted video clips of my favorite scenes and the heavy changes, so consider those a supplement to this and vice versa.
Part 2.
Part 3.
Part 4.
(Other) GTF Favorites.
I'd like to preface this by mentioning the chief director and producer of the game itself has also spoken about localization inaccuracy issues, so that's something to keep in mind (it's in Japanese, but you should be able to use the offered post translator).
I'd also like to preface this by mentioning that in the original, Yuri is more playful and relaxed/casual (generally but including with Flynn, which the dub pretty much entirely changed until arc 3), but also gentler and softer. He has a very large variety of tonal behaviors/tonal "moods" that were pretty much nuked from the dub.
Basically, to get the full experience for Yuri, I can only really recommend playing the game in JP audio. Obviously you won't get the actual context because all you'll have is the dub context, but that's also partly why I'm making these posts - to cover the contextual changes while the video clips cover some of the tonal changes (because lbh I don't expect anyone to actually go watch the entire game in JP with subtitles unless you're as insanely dedicated as I am, and I'm largely doing it out of my love for the original Yuri and Flynn and my disdain for how the localization treated them).
As a heads up, there won't be many skits in here because I'm going through a specific YT playthrough for these screenshots. Specific skits won't always come up in the playthrough in question, and I can't find a whole list of skits in JP anywhere online. I don't have all skits unlocked in my own save either yet (you can unlock all skits with Grade which I have yet to do in the DE), so I can't use that to compare all skits right now.
There are plenty of small changes here and there that I won't be including in these posts because there are some sentence changes that aren't impactful but do exist. I just don't want to be here for a year covering the random changes that don't matter much. I'm also not going to include details of a lot of honorifics because I'd be here all day, but there is one one major instance that I mention later on.
For reference if anything wants to actually watch the game in JP with the subs (it goes until just after Hypionia), most of the references come from here. Since in some cases the subber just reused localized text even when the context wasn't the same, I did bring some of those up in these posts too. These were subbed before the DE version came out. I used screenshots with subs where possible to make it easier to follow along.
I have a lot of passion for JP Yuri and I hope I can pass on some of that passion to others. 🙏
Apologies in advance if some of these sound cranky. If I sound cranky about some specific changes, it's probably because I am.
---
Since I talked about the whole, Raven being shady and Yuri therefore not being grateful to him incident that the localization for some reason butchered and made Yuri sound like a generally ungrateful or just outright dumb person who doesn't understand gratitude, I'll summarize that one again here:
Yuri has a skit with Estelle originally talking about how he can't find himself being grateful to someone like Raven for showing him how to sneak out of the castle. Basically, Raven is shady and he's not sure he should be grateful to someone like that, and is confused as to why Estelle would be so grateful when she doesn't even know him (because in his mind, he isn't sure he wants to trust a guy with those vibes). The dub just kinda... makes him sound like an ungrateful jerk and not so much because he's not sure he wants to trust Raven. It doesn't really sound like it's an issue of his with Raven specifically but more that he just generally doesn't feel grateful for the aid (and that in general one shouldn't feel grateful for aid like this), which gives off a really wrong impression of him that doesn't hold up throughout the game. Yuri wasn't wholly ungrateful for the gesture itself, but because of who it came from (and I imagine a weird peppy guy in jail is good cause to be skeptical).
Tumblr media
We start off we a classic "Yuri, you idiot!" that was changed to "come on already!".
Tumblr media
Yuri's response to Estelle mentioning he'd been in the knights doesn't actually give a time frame for how long he'd been there (the dub made up three months, but there was never originally even a time frame given).
Tumblr media
Here when Yuri asks Estelle why she can't just leave, her response indicates she actually does know why. The dub made it more ambiguous, which could be easily misinterpreted as she really doesn't know, so I'm dropping this one here.
Tumblr media
For some reason the localization seemed to have Estelle responding to Karol directly about the ace always performing their attack last ("I don't think so"). What she was referring to was the tiny monster that walked by, asking for confirmation that that monster was not the eggbear they were looking for (I wasn't gonna fight with the video to get a better screenshot without the annoying YT red bar in the way so the monster is in the corner mid-movement lol). Not sure if that was a genuine mistake, but it was an odd one.
(Also, side note and not putting an image here because it's more general, but Yuri refers to Karol as "Karol-sensei" which was translated in the localization to "Captain Karol". Basically, Yuri calls him "sensei" because that's a teacher/professor, and he's making a play on Karol's knowledge and being their "teacher" about monsters/maps/etc.)
Tumblr media
I'd say this is more along the lines of overexaggerating and not overreacting, but this line was literally changed to "haha" in the dub. The whole point wasn't that Yuri just brushed her comment off or found it funny. At this point he still literally thinks she's exaggerating about her lack of knowledge out in the world, her excitement, etc.
Not the only instance you'll find of the dub just changing entire sentences to something meaningless as if they ??? didn't know what it meant (they actually changed Patty saying an entire sentence to "aye"). In some cases they added entire sentences that weren't even there...
Tumblr media
Even though I can kind of see where they went with the dub here, the point was supposed to be that Flynn actively thought he would be happy for Yuri to go outside the barrier and see the world.
The dub changed this to Flynn saying that he, in the now, is happy that Yuri is outside the barrier, but then says he got a little less happy when he saw the wanted poster, indicating he was previously happy but got less happy, yet says in that moment that he is happy.
It's a weird case of (past/present) tense usage for the most part, but they also removed the fact that Flynn is literally saying "I thought I would be happy" (thus expressing he'd been wanting Yuri to see the world outside the barrier and would've been happy to find out he did). The reason he's not finding himself happy is because of the wanted poster and the crimes listed on it, following up that his honest happiness for Yuri (ultimately because of the poster) was a lie.
This also means they removed Flynn expressing the honesty of his happiness for a positive concept for Yuri, which, given all the changes toward Flynn in the dub, already now takes away from the fact that he'd been actively hoping for good things for someone and we're left with this more sarcastic take on him being "happy".
Obviously his happiness wasn't really a lie because most of the crimes were falsified (primarily the ones that would make him actually mad, because Flynn has had to have been aware this whole time that Yuri has committed small time crimes for the past few years now), but at the time, the focus on this conversation is that Flynn thought he'd be happy at a time that Yuri left the barrier; meaning he'd been hoping for it prior to it happening.
I'm also mentioning it because it's the very first in a whole line of changes the dub made to their relationship (and it's their first in game interaction ffs) and to Flynn himself as he's perceived as a character. The original is much more expressive of how important they are to each other in a lot of various ways.
Inserting the JP audio version of the following scene with Flynn here.
And... the following one from there.
Tumblr media
This was changed to "damn, we if lose our balance...". I know they did it because Yuri had just fallen over, but I'm including this one because the context isn't... really the same thing?
Tumblr media
This dub change is a bit odd to me. They had him saying something along the lines of "she is a princess after all" in the dub, regarding the council backing her.
The original context is more like, the council is backing her and he's hearing it directly from Ioder and he probably doubts Ioder would lie like that or about that, cementing that yes, she truly is, like he suspected, a princess, but it's almost still a bit odd to know. It's sort of like, he knew/had suspicions but hearing it directly from Ioder just confirms it for certain.
The dub just made it sound like well yeah, it's obvious they'd want to back her, she's a princess... but Ioder is a prince, so that doesn't explain why they're not backing him. She is a princess after all, so of course they'd back her... but what's stopping them from backing the prince?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Another weird one for me. In the dub Yuri says that "even the Commandant was a little in over his head", when he actually... really wasn't? All he did was step in. Things got bad enough that he had to, but he wasn't in over his head. Not sure how or why the dub ended up with that.
Tumblr media
An example of the dub having a habit of just adding in random lines that didn't actually exist (and in this case the one added didn't even contextually make sense. This was no thank you from him, this was literally him making Yuri do something for him because he was going to ask Flynn for a favor and ended up with Yuri in the cell instead).
Tumblr media
Another super weird one in the dub. They had Yuri saying Flynn was "too" late, implying he hadn't made it in time, but he did. He made it just before the battle started, but the original context only says he's late, not too late (which makes sense given that they were ready to fight but hadn't started yet).
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This was changed to Yuri just mentioning there was one way they could get out of there without actually saying what it was, and Judith saying if he thinks it might work what's the harm in trying it out. Not sure why they changed Yuri literally telling her his plan, so... again, a super weird change that I don't get why they didn't just keep the context the way it was.
Third image was changed to "someone get me away from this psycho", which... I also don't get why they put that there unless they just wanted so much flavor text that they wanted to change the whole "they're in a fight and he's telling her not to come over here because he's pissed at her because they're fighting" part of the fake fight they had going on.
Not one I have a huge problem with, but definitely good examples of them going out of their way to change just... perfectly normal stuff that literally has no reason to be changed? Some of it is flavor text and some of it feels over the top for me. Stuff that makes me like... why would you change that when there was no reason to? Could be more of a personal pet peeve of mine, but I just don't like unnecessary changes when there was nothing wrong or odd about the original text and doesn't at all come off odd in English. Unfortunately Vesperia got littered with those.
Tumblr media
I didn't feel like getting a whole video for this, but basically Judith gives a little laugh instead of just the more upset/distressed(?) sound she made in the dub. Feels more fitting imo to keep up the "lie" Yuri started for her. The dub makes it seem more like she feels guilty, versus here she's giving a little forced giggle to go along with it. Again, a change I'm not sure why they put in.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ngl I get completely different vibes from these. The JP comes across more as concern, rather than... treating them like they're some mob on the loose...?
Once again, this gives off negative vibes toward Flynn as a character imo.
Tumblr media
Here Judith gives more of a reason for coming with them, which they changed in the dub to "with the circumstances being what they are, this is just how things turned out". Reasonably, she didn't have to stick around after they ran from Dahngrest, but here she gives a quick "reason".
Tumblr media
The dub changed this to "I'll bet he is". They were just told he's the current magistrate in Heliord, and all Yuri says here expresses he's letting it sink in and realizing exactly why all this is happening here. It's not a huge story beat or anything that gets changed, but it's an example of changing things that don't need to be changed as if trying to play things up in a way that... doesn't feel necessary to me? In this case the situation is kind of dawning on Yuri as he realizes how bad this situation could be/why it's like it is, but in the dub it comes across as more just unimpressed and "of course he'd do that".
Tumblr media
An unfortunate, classic moment of them changing how much Yuri believes in and trusts Flynn. They changed this to "gotta run, Flynn!" and he just... leaves. I'm sorry but in what universe does "leave the rest to you" equal "gotta run"???
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This one is one of those cases where the localization text was super awkward and wonky, and worse, they actually voiced it that way (like "we have guild's job to deal with". Yes, they actually voiced it that way too on top of everything else grammatically wonky with the entire conversation that they didn't bother fixing when the DE came out).
Also here, they changed what Yuri says about Cumore and Flynn. "I don't know how I could explain this to Flynn" doesn't, at least to me, carry the same weight as Yuri actually feeling ashamed (in the dub he says "what a shame", but does not express shame, versus him saying "how pathetic" and expressing shame in feeling pathetic) and saying he can't even face Flynn because Cumore got away. The thing is, Yuri does tend to posture, so when he fails at something, it hits him pretty hard.
Tumblr media
And let's be honest, this just hits way harder than "he will get what he deserves".
Interestingly, Yuri could also fall into the category of viewing himself as sinful later on, which I talk about in my favorites post and the usage of "crime" and "sin" within the JP context.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Not particularly important, but just another (more mild) case and example of how the dub just randomly changed tone/mood/wording for no reason.
Tumblr media
Another case of Yuri being more aggressive in the dub than he actually was. Here, all he says is just a plain statement. In the dub, he has an attitude about it and says it in a tone that's more insulting that Ioder didn't know about Heracles.
This isn't the only case of dub Yuri acting aggressively toward Ioder when he wasn't supposed to be and we'll get to that, but Ioder is another similar case of the dub making Yuri unnecessarily vocally rude (despite that Ioder is very polite toward Yuri).
Tumblr media
(I left out the subtitles because all they did was copy the dub's localization, which kinda defeats the point of this post LOL. This will be the case going forward for any same circumstances.)
This one's a more interesting tidbit to me and less of a harmful change (i.e. I find that a lot of if not most changes relative to Flynn do more harm than good when compared with the original context). Basically it's saying "sweet mask and sharp eyes", implying Flynn's sweet face is a mask and saying it contrasts with his sharp eyes. I could get into a whole rant about why I love that in relation to some side material, but even in the game itself, there's the knight Flynn with his sweet, polite side and his real side that only shows when he's around Yuri (basically, who Flynn has to be for his job and who he actually is as a person, which he only gets to be around someone who knows the real him).
I'd guess this got changed in the dub because they weren't sure how to word it, though there's no mention of "heartthrob" here at all and instead actually says "sweet mask" as if, again, to say his sweetness is just a mask. It's actually a very interestingly accurate representation of his character - how he tends to not be himself when he's being "knight Flynn", and how that sweet face is contrasted by the look in his eyes (which they say, you know, eyes are the windows to the soul, so this would imply the sweet face is the mask and the eyes are the real Flynn. And of course, this Flynn is implied to show himself in his sparring with Yuri in Aurnion, where sword fighting is the best way to express himself. This isn't to say Flynn being a nice person in and of itself is a lie, but that his overly polite, respectful, kind knight side is a sweet mask contrasted to the man who loves to fight and has a sharp look in his eyes)
For now, we'll be back at Mantaic in the next post (due to image per post limit).
#Tales of Vesperia#GTF JP Vesperia Things#GTF Vesperia Localization Woes#really like... a lot of the time? the other characters weren't changed all that much#it's primarily Yuri who got this weird shift where they just... flattened his personality?#but some of the biggest offenders ended up being some of the most important scenes in the game which is what bothers me#and sometimes the localization is pretty much just... on point with the plot dialogue and other characters#yet for some reason they just... changed a lot of tone for Yuri?#it's just like... Yuri will have personality in his tone and they instead make dub Yuri speak it in a flat way in those moments#this did happen with the original dubbing quite a bit but it's also just SUPER noticeable with the new lines#my suggestion would be to at least play the game w/ JP dialogue and see how you feel coming out of it if you're a fan of Yuri and/or Flynn#and if you like it enough then I'd suggest watching the playthrough in JP that these screenshots came from if you're RLY dedicated lol#it's not JUST Yuri it's just /dominantly/ Yuri. other odd lines just didn't... go as hard?#like Raven and Karol especially go pretty hard on their lines in JP and the Schwann stuff with Karol was OOF#or if you'd rather just skip to watching it in JP I mean be my guest lol I just know some ppl might rather PLAY it#I just feel like... like... even tho not everything in the dub is horrendous... if you're a YURI fan?#it's hard to go back to the dub (impossible for me ngl) when you have this actual silly little guy#who is a lot more emotional and wholesome and Yuri isn't acting like he has a stick up his dubbed ass in some scenes#I still prefer the 360 version plot-wise for the most part and it's a mixed bag there a bit but#I can't get JP audio on the 360 so. it's the struggle ig.#in my case though it's this feeling of like... them wanting to create an image onto Yuri that wasn't supposed to be there?#obviously I don't know what went on in the loc room but I do know I walked out looking at dub Yuri like#him and the original Yuri aren't even the same. I get so frustrated with dub Yuri's unnecessary ATTITUDE sometimes#which wasn't ever a problem for me period in JP. he's emotional and sincere WAY more often#also lbh I cannot reasonably picture dub Yuri all dressed up and pretty the way he is in official artwork LOL#and that's the thing. I see them so differently it's like they're different people#I also just feel like the dub was like. he doesn't fit OUR vision for him. what WE want him to be like#and again I don't know what went on in that loc room but I DO know that's how I came out feeling from this game#anyway this is in hope more ppl will come to love JP Yuri's personality and stuff#but yeah more next time on ''why did you do this to my sweet baby boy''
10 notes · View notes
moodr1ng · 22 days ago
Text
did a dnd oneshot today kinda on a whim (signed up yesterday) and it was fun dgmw but also kinda made it clearer to me the kinda dnd im just not that into. we did very very little roleplay and most places we visited were quite summarily described and only there to get what we needed done and leave, and then after wrapping up our characters meeting, getting a quest, getting ready and going to the quest area in like 2 hours the rest was only combat. i got into it and all but ultimately not rly what i wanna do in dnd yknow... i love roleplaying and talking to npcs and exploring some worldbuilding and especially getting to do creative stuff and strategies, and i reckon this doesnt rly mesh well w the type of dnd that appeals more to people who most enjoy long and challenging fights against evil. i still had fun and enjoyed myself and the people were cool but also this is not something id wanna do a whole campaign of and its nice to get more experience to figure that out basically
#97#which is totally fair lol like.#im also aware that if youre not very into combat you prob should go for other systems than dnd#its mostly that well. the server i joined to find local games is only for dnd#so i dont rly have opportunities to learn other systems that prioritize stuff like rp and social strategy etc#also found out incidentally: wow i dont rly like playing monks#(ive only played bards and my wizard)#since im so not combat-focused i rly like characters who can use other skills to resolve challenges#like a bard w charisma or a magic user w magic (mostly illusions and enchantments rather than combat spells)#so yeah it was interesting to try out a different class but not that interesting to me unless like#i was in a game that was explicitly not combat focused so the class could be more rp-relevant#(i made this guy a monk bc i wanted a very religious character w very strict religious practices)#(specifically bc thatd be fun for rp but then we did only the bare minimum rp so.. yeah)#i also find that in combat i tend to think more 'what would my pc do in this fight'#rather than 'whats the objectively best tactical move to make'#and if the point is for the combat to be very challenging you dont rly get any leeway#to make suboptimal decisions on the basis that your character would make them#like. everyone was kinda like 'yea its not smart to go and try to free the shackled woman immediately#bc its likely that shes the medusa in disguise' (she was)#and im like. yeah but. my guy is an extremely religious monk who has sworn vows to protect the weak.#if he sees a helpless shackled woman his priority is helping her even if i as a player know shes probably a trap.#tbf i did not get to free her LOL so i didnt fuck over the party by trying to do that#and i did my fair share of damage dealing#but also going into a fight where the boss is a cursed human i wouldve liked#an opportunity to talk to her and try to reason w her and even if it failed getting an idea of why were fighting#thats just my player mentality ig haha im very 'well id like to know their motivations before killing them'
0 notes
cobaltperun · 3 months ago
Note
Hi, I was just wondering if you could do a bottom Tara x top g!p female reader fic?!
where Tara and reader are dating but when sam finds out she forbids reader to come over to their apartment the only time they see each is in college. So T and R are texting 24/7 and one evening things get a little spicy like they start sexting ig sending stuff too each other (if you get what I mean) then Tara decides to sneak out because she's missing reader (vice versa) and goes to reader's apartment and they do it for the first time also could it be soft smut and some aftercare maybe. It's just T and R being gay af!
You don't have to do this btw thanks either way!Bye have a good day/night :)
Rule Breakers
Tumblr media
SMUT! Bottom Tara Carpenter x Top G!P Female Reader
Masterlist
Word count: 4.9k
“You are what?!” the scream Sam let out echoed through the apartment making absolutely everyone present, you and Tara included, flinch. This was not the reaction you hoped for, though Tara did warn you it would probably be like this. You had no idea how bad it would get.
“We are dating,” Tara repeated and you could tell by the way she reached out and grabbed your hand that she desperately needed to feel your touch to calm down. How could Sam not see that? See beyond the fact that she herself didn’t know you?
“Absolutely not! Tara you met her what? A month ago?” Sam was not accepting this at all. You could see the fury in her eyes as she looked at you as if you immediately threatened to hurt her sister. You knew what the reason was and you definitely couldn't blame her for it. But it still hurt to see she didn't trust Tara's judgment. Tara was an adult. She went through even more than Sam did and she just wanted to live her life, which included falling in love and dating, and you hoped one day moving in with you so you could build your future together.
Yeah. You were whipped.
“Four months, actually,” Tara rolled her eyes. The two of you met in college on the first day. You sat next to each other and immediately got along and fast forward three months, some time after she had opened up to you about how she was attacked and nearly killed by one of her closest friends, she just asked you out and you accepted it. You definitely developed a crush on her a lot sooner than that, and while that wasn't important at the moment you really believed Tara knew that all along. She just had a way of knowing just how you felt about her, in her own words, you were an open book in her eyes.
“That's not nearly long enough,” Sam pointed the finger at you, the fury in her eyes not fading even slightly.
“Hey, Sam wait!” Tara tried to stop her sister, but it was too late.
“Out right now. If I ever see you close to Tara things will not end well for you,” you had no doubts about just how serious Sam was and you saw Tara’s jaw dropping.
“What the fuck Sam?!” Tara screamed at her sister and quickly turned to you as you got up. “No this isn't what I want!” she jumped to her feet after you and stepped in front of you. “Hey, just listen to me, this isn't what I want,” it hurt you to see her like this, in pain and afraid, and her eyes already filling with tears.
For the first time since you came to the apartment you glared at Sam.
“Come on Sam give it girl a chance,” Chad tried to get her to see reason but a single glare shut him down.
“I will not risk Tara's safety,” Sam would not listen, in fact, she stood up as if to show you the way out. You swallowed the lump in your throat as Tara grabbed onto your hand to keep you from leaving, tears were falling down her face.
“I don't want this, please,” her hands trembled as she said that and for a moment you stopped glaring at Sam.
Your eyes softened and you gently brushed the tears off Tara’s face. “I know you,” whispered and leaned down to kiss her, Sam be damned. Tara relaxed into the kiss, realizing you weren’t going to leave her, and she kissed your back and poured all of her love into that one single kiss. When you separated you turned to Sam returning her glare without flinching for a single moment.
Sam was intimidating there was no doubt about it, but this was a lot more important. “You can try all you want, Sam, you will not scare me away. Got it? Drop the protective big sister bullshit because no one gets to make my girlfriend cry. Not even you,” the temperature in the room dropped when you said that and you could tell everyone just got on the verge of running away and you could not blame them.
Sam looked even more furious, she looked ready to spit fire and rain hell upon you, but you stood your ground. And to make your defiance even more clear you stepped around Tara and faced her sister head on with nothing blocking her path.
Sam remained silent for now, just glaring at you and you nodded, feeling like this ended about as well as it could. “Glad that's clear, I’ll see you later Sam,” you made your point clear, there was no reason to stick around because hanging out with Tara at this point, in this situation and in their apartment wouldn’t do any good for anyone, you and Tara especially.
~X~
She absolutely won the lottery. She would never try to even purchase a ticket because all her luck was just spent on getting the most amazing, badass girlfriends she could ever hope for. Did the way you talked back to Sam make her wet? Yes, yes it did.
Would she have gone to her room to handle that if everyone else still wasn’t at the apartment? Yes, she would have.
Would she do it tonight? Absolutely.
~X~
After what happened last week you and Tara kept seeing each other only at college, and that, more often than not, led to both of you just ditching the classes and getting coffee and croissants from a local bakery you both loved to visit. You did not expect that single decision to haunt you for the rest of the week. You both thought you were just that slick about it as you skipped several classes over the past week just so you spend time together and act like an actual couple instead of two people hiding from the world.
The world in this case being Tara's sister.
If Tara started failing classes because of her absence, well, that would be entirely on Sam.
~X~
Tara should have seen the trouble coming from a mile away. She just had too much fun today, walking with you in the park, grabbing breakfast, you even managed to catch a movie, and it was actually a good one! And to make things even better Tara couldn't keep her hand away from your own, constantly holding it as you went from one place to another.
And then the world just turned against her. She opened the doors and saw Sam expecting her with a stern look on her face, and arms crossed, sitting at the table in the kitchen.
She was in so much trouble.
“You were with her, weren't you?” well she couldn't exactly confess, so she would at least try to deny it. What were the chances that Sam had an actual proof Tara skipped classes with you?
“We were catching up on some lesson we missed, so classes got extended,” Tara lied a bit easier than she thought she would, but she figured the habits she picked up on while she was living with her mother were difficult to get rid of.
“Do not lie to me, Tara!” she flinched at Sam’s shout. “I went to pick you up and you weren't there. And when I asked your classmates if you even came to the classes, they told me neither of you showed up today!” Tara was caught pretty much red-handed and Sam knew it.
Tara sighed and sat down across the table. “You can't expect me to break up with her, Sam. I love her!” she was getting frustrated by Sam's behavior. Why couldn't her sister just let her go, just let her live her own life.
“Tara, you don't love her, you don't even know her properly! She could be dangerous,” this paranoia had to stop, because Sam saw everyone that tried to approach Tara as an enemy, as someone Tara needed protection from.
“Sam do you hear yourself?” Tara couldn’t deal with it anymore. “We are living with Quinn and she keeps bringing random guys to the apartment! Any one of them could be as psycho that just gets up one night and kills all three of us. You don't know those guys, yet you let Quinn bring them along!” Terra pointed out, exasperated by Sam not being able to see logic in her words, more importantly she was furious because Sam wouldn't trust her judgment.
She knew you. She had complete trust in you. And she got betrayed in a worse way than Sam did, after all while Richie was Sam’s boyfriend, Amber has been Tara’s friend for over a decade by that point.
“That isn't how Ghostface works and you know that,” Sam argued back. Ghostface this, Ghostface that. Tara was getting sick of it.
How could Sam not see it? “Ghostface isn't the only psycho, Sam! I can't live my life fearing that anyone I meet is going to turn out to be a psychotic killer. I want to live Sam, I fell in love and I want to enjoy that! I want to be with Y/N!” she desperately hoped Sam would just for once listen to her.
Yet Sam acted like a broken record. “We don't know her,” and Tara knew it wouldn’t matter how long you spent trying to get Sam’s trust. Sam would never know you ‘well enough’, Sam wouldn’t even try to get to know you.
“So what? I'm just supposed to fall in love with Chad? Because who else is left?” Tara demanded, but she might as well be talking in an entirely different language.
“This conversation is over, you’re grounded for a week,” Sam stood up and stormed into her room, leaving utterly flabbergasted Tara alone.
What a great way to spend the week off from classes.
~X~
Five days, that’s how long this torture’s been going on and Tara felt like she was about to lose her mind. And she was supposed to last an entire week?! The remaining two days felt like they would never end because each day seemed to drag out more than the previous one, even witconstant texting between the two of you. She turned in her bed for what felt like the hundredth time and her bed showed it. Messy twisted blanket, crumpled sheets, her head resting only on the corner of her pillow as she once again got on her back and stared at the ceiling. Sam was being unfair. Mindy had Anika, her and Sam were living with Quinn, who they didn’t know beforehand, and Tara was sure Sam had something going on with that Danny guy, and Chad was also occasionally flirting with girls! She was the only one who couldn’t have what she wanted.
Her phone buzzed and she immediately scrambled out of the blankets to take it. Curse her battery for needing to be charged! Tara quickly unlocked her phone and saw the message was from you.
Y/N: You need to see this!
Underneath it she saw the cutest Instagram reel of a puppy surrounded by ducklings.
Tara: 😍😍😍 They are so cute!
Your answer was immediate.
Y/N: Not as cute as certain someone, but it’ll have to do 😉
Tara fell back on her bed, a ridiculously wide smile already making its way to her face. Fuck, she missed you so much. ‘Yeah? Certain someone?’ she replied and her breath hitched when you sent her a selfie wearing a very soft looking shirt and grinning at her, and all of that could be manageable, if only Tara’s eyes didn’t immediately go to your lips and she realized it’s been way too long since she got to kiss you. She needed to feel your lips on her own, on her neck, on… fuck, what if you went lower. She bit her lower lip, studying your face, imagining your smiles, the way you looked at her.
Y/N: Tara? Baby? You’ve left me on seen for five minutes
That message temporarily snapped her out of her daydreaming. Or would it be nightdreaming? She never really thought of the logic behind the word. And she was desperately trying to ignore the desire gradually, scratch that, rapidly building inside of her.
Tara: I miss you
She finally replied and glanced back at your selfie as you typed the response.
Y/N: I kiss you too
Y/N (edited): I miss you too
Tara burst out laughing and quickly covered her mouth. ‘I saw it! Can’t take it back!’ she replied only to barely hold her laughter back when you just replied with ‘Shit.’ She smiled fondly, taking pity on you.
Tara: I want to kiss you too, so, so bad. I keep thinking about it and other things all the time
There, she confessed, knowing you were still prone to getting embarrassed and all shy about how affectionate Tara could get. Randomly kissing your cheek or hugging you when she knew you least expected was easily her favorite thing to do. The clear embarrassment on your face and the hitched breath, and especially the way you would freeze for a moment kept Tara entertained.
You had your own ways to mess with her, though she suspected you weren’t doing it on purpose. You would just go ahead and pull her chair out for her to sit, or bring her favorite coffee along when you would meet up and it was really messing her up to feel so cared for after years of neglect. It was yet another reason why she was so mad at Sam because she feared she wouldn’t be able to forgive her sister if Sam’s suspicious nature chased you away.
Y/N: Other things?
Hook, line, and sinker.
Tara opened her camera and switched to video. She winked at it and then turned it lower, to her waist, making sure to capture every detail as she unbuttoned her jeans and just brushed her fingers over the zipper, taunting you. She slowly panned the camera up her body while trailing the path with her hand. “Other things,” she was well aware of the sliver of her skin the camera caught when she pushed her shirt up. “Very specific things,” she whispered as seductively as she could, which, well, she didn’t have experience with seducing people, but she knew she’d get the desired effect with you as her hand brushing between her breasts moved the shirt in a way that emphasized her cleavage. And then she returned the camera to her face to show you she was lightly biting the corner of her lower lip.
She didn’t hesitate one moment before sending it.
You saw the message immediately, yet you didn’t respond, and Tara may have been stuck between getting nervous and completely confident in her charms. Minutes later she finally saw you typing.
Y/N: Tara
She could hear the exasperation in your message, yet she just sent ‘Yes, Baby? 🥺’
Y/N: Look at you acting all innocent
Yeah, she knew she was being rather mischievous. Even more so when she just replied with: ‘But I am all innocent’ she waited a moment, imagining you rolling your eyes and not immediately noticing the word play.
Tara: All innocent and inexperienced, just waiting for you to touch me
She put her phone under her shirt and took a photo, making sure there was just enough light to tease the details of her bra and sent it to you.
Your reply made her squeeze her thighs together. You sent her another photo, this time of you in front of a mirror, your hand covering the bulge in your pants and Tara caught herself wondering, and not for the first time, how big you were.
“Don’t tease me,” she sent you a voice message, whining as she cupped her breast, as her mind created the images of you taking her, fucking her. Instead of a message you actually called her and she resisted cursing because she was about to unzip her jeans and slip her hand inside. “Hey,” she whispered, trying to figure out if she could still do it.
“I’m teasing? Do you have any idea what you did to me?” your voice sounded strained an she knew you were in just as much of a dilemma as she was, only you seemed to be stronger than her, because if she didn’t do something about the lust she felt she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep.
“I know,” she admitted, biting back a moan as she slipped her hand into her jeans and teased her pussy over her panties. Fuck, she was already wet. “Y/N,” if only you were here with her, touching her, fucking her. “Are you hard?”
“What do you think?” you replied and she knew the answer. “I haven’t seen you in five days and the first thing you send me is that fucking video,” oh, you were cursing. She really got to you and you were definitely getting to her as she pushed her panties aside and slid her fingers through her wet folds.
“You started it,” Tara tried to defend herself.
“It was an innocent selfie!” you exclaimed just as she brushed the tip of her finger over her clit.
“Fuck, if we don’t stop neither of us will be innocent by tomorrow morning,” she moaned into the pillow, stuck between the urge to make herself cum and just sneak out and go to you.
“Shit, maybe we shouldn’t stop,” she could hear the faint sound of you stroking your cock and probably would have wondered if you could hear her too, but more importantly she made her decision.
“I’ll be there in ten,” she absolutely despised herself for pulling her hand out of her jeans and ending the call, but she would quickly get rid of that feeling, she just needed to get to you first.
~X~
You met in front of your apartment with Tara immediately jumping into your arms and kissing you, and you found yourself being pushed against the wall next to your doors as she deepened the kiss. “Fuck, finally,” she groaned, pressing her body against yours. “Y/N,” she moaned your name, and you felt her grinding against you, not even waiting to get inside.
The effort it took to actually slow down and take her to your bedroom should be studied, but you couldn’t let your first time be rough and quick. No, Tara deserved a lot more than that. “Easy, Tara, let’s just go inside,” you barely put your hand over your mouth to quiet the moan when she nibbled on your neck.
“I need you,” she whined, but allowed you to pull her into the apartment and toward the bedroom.
“I know, I know, I need you too,” you confessed, uncomfortably hard, and it only got worse when Tara pushed you onto the bed and straddled your lap. “But we can take as much time as we want, just take it slow and enjoy our first time instead of rushing through it.”
She felt it when she jumped into your arms, and now that she was straddling your lap. This was what she wanted for so long, yet now that she was looking at you the words you spoke echoed through her mind. Yeah, she would really enjoy that, just taking things slow for once. Slow and steady.
She leaned down, kissing you softly as she brushed her fingers over the fabric of your shirt, reaching up to your shoulders and squeezing lightly when you wrapped your arms around her. “You sure you’ll be able to hold back,” she asked when she pulled back, you were very hard after all.
You ran your fingers through her hair and looked her in the eyes. “I’m not holding anything back,” you promised and kissed her again. Your lips felt so soft, and Tara moaned, she truly missed this feeling. You slid your hand down to her neck and Tara let out a shuddering sigh as she lifted her head up and made it easier for you to kiss her neck. This was good, this was familiar. Making out with you always left her needy and this time wasn’t an exception as she felt the heat pooling in her core. “Y-Y/N,” she whimpered when you bit her neck slightly, just the way she liked it and Tara slowly began grinding on you. “Just like that,” she whispered as you dragged your tongue up her neck, soothing the burning skin.
“You’re so beautiful,” you were mesmerized by her, captivated by her beauty. Her breathy moans felt like the most beautiful melody ever created and you were the one causing them. You pulled her shirt up just enough to slip your hands underneath it. You felt the slight shiver of her body as she squirmed a bit at your touch.
“Your hands are a bit cold,” she giggled as your fingertips brushed along her sides. ��Y/N, that tickles,” she smacked you slightly on the shoulder and saw the grin on your face. “Goofball,” she kissed you quickly.
“Sorry,” you muttered, only half-serious as Tara sat up and slowly, in the most tormenting, teasing way possible, took her shirt and bra off. “Fuck,” she looked gorgeous and there was no way your eyes weren’t giving your thoughts away because you couldn’t get them off her body.
Tara smiled at that, she’s shown you her scars before, so she wasn’t worried about your reaction, but this? She was definitely getting an ego boost from this reaction, and the way your cock twitched against her pussy. “You want me, Y/N? Take me,” she said it. “Do anything you want with me,” and in return she’d do anything she wanted with you and there were plenty of things she wanted, so many in fact she knew you couldn’t do it all tonight.
You cleared your throat and nodded as you sat up yourself and then flipped the two of you around so you were on top of Tara. You looked her in the eyes as you leaned down and, while cupping her breast, licked her already hard nipple. Tara took your own shirt and bra off and watched you as you sucked on her breast while she ran her fingers through your hair, encouraging you to keep going. Her other hand found your breasts and she brushed her thumb against your nipple.
Your tangled bodies moved together. Every touch of your hands left her skin burning, left her body more desperate for your touch, every single brush of your fingers drove her mad with desire. And she still didn’t take her jeans or panties off. Your hand went lower until your fingers tugged at her jeans, teasing her and making her moan. “Need you,” she whispered and felt you nodding as your unzipped her jeans and pulled them down.
“You’re soaking wet,” you grunted as you slowly rubbed her pussy over her panties. Tara dared to believe you could slip your cock inside her without any troubles with how wet she was if only you weren’t so big. You pulled your hand out of her jeans, making her immediately whine.
“Y/N, don’t tease me, please,” she begged, but luckily you just took a moment to take her jeans and panties off and strip the rest of your clothes as well.
“That’s your specialty,” you got back on top of her and pushed two fingers inside her pussy, and if she wasn’t as aroused as she was she would probably be embarrassed at how easily your fingers slipped in. Your fingers felt so good inside her as you continued kissing and caressing her body and Tara lay there, a moaning mess before your cock was even inside her. She reached down and wrapped her hand around your cock, there was precum leaking out of it as she rubbed the tip with her thumb. “Don’t, I won’t last if you do that,” you bit her shoulder a bit rougher than you intended. “I want to cum when I’m inside you,” you said while bringing her close to her orgasm.
“Me too then. Put it in me, I’m ready,” she spread her legs for you and kissed you as you blindly reached for the drawer next to your bed and grabbed the condom on top of it. If she didn’t quite literally tell you you would be having sex she would have teased you, but as it was she just wanted you to put it on and fuck her.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” you asked as you lined your cock up with the entrance to her pussy. And oh, she was ready, soaking wet, she probably wouldn’t even feel any pain. Tara nodded and kissed you once more as she hugged you tightly. She felt the tip of your cock sliding into her pussy and moaned, breaking the kiss and leaning her head back on your pillow.
“Y- Ah! Y/N!” she cried out your name, her fingertips digging into the back of your head, her back arching as you wrapped one arm around her and used the other to hold onto her hip.
“You’re taking me so well, Tara,” you whispered in her ear and finally, finally, she took all of you. She was close before, but now, feeling this full, she knew she was right on the edge.
You knew you couldn’t last for long like this. Tara’s warm, wet pussy engulfed you and you tried to focus on something else, to prolong this, but there was no way you could do that, so, you moved your hand from her hip to her clit and began rubbing as you slowly began thrusting into her, hoping you could get her to cum before you did. You would hold back until she cums, you promised that to yourself.
“I’m so close,” Tara moaned. “Look at me,” she pleaded, and you immediately complied as you looked into each other’s eyes, your bodies moving in the perfect sync as she began meeting your thrusts. Her orgasm kept building up, slow and steady, like your entire lovemaking was tonight, and with each thrust she could see you were getting close as well. “Y/N,” she moaned your name, no longer conscious of how much time you spent like that. She just knew that at one point she came, loud and hard, as your sweat covered bodies pressed together and she felt you cumming as well with a moan of your own.
She was absolutely spent. Satisfied with this being her first time. There would be other nights or days for longer lovemaking with multiple orgasms. In her head, and she truly hoped, in yours too, this was perfect.
Tara held onto you, feeling happier than she’s been in a long time. The blissful feeling consuming her entirely as you pulled your cock out and she glanced down at the filled condom. Maybe it was just her orgasm affecting her brain but she couldn’t help but think how one day, when you’re both ready, you’ll be cumming deep inside her. “Baby, Y/N,” she hummed as you caught your breath on top of her and she gently scratched the back of your head.
You lowered your head a bit and kissed her shoulder. “You were incredible,” you whispered, peppering her shoulder and the side of her neck with soft butterfly kisses. “Tara,” you whispered her name like it was your own, personal salvation. “I love you so much,” it wasn’t the first time you said those words, but it felt so good to hear them.
“I love you too, Y/N,” she tilted your chin up and kissed you on the lips, just as soft as everything tonight was. “I never thought sex would feel this good,” she admitted. There was no pain, no holding back, it consumed her entirely and all she could feel was your love for her as you took her innocence.
You chuckled. “Tell me about it,” you rolled onto your back and pulled Tara on top of you so you could rest while still holding her.
Tara had other ideas, turning both of you so you were lying on the side. “There, that’s better,” she whispered and leaned in, closing the distance between you. You would need to get up soon, clean up, take care of the mess you made, but she could bask in your warmth for a bit longer. Especially when you began rubbing her back, soothing her, keeping her feeling good. “I love how gentle and loving you were,” she whispered as she snuggled up to you, aware that, while she did absolutely enjoy the gentle sex she wasn’t opposed to getting a bit rougher sooner or later. She wanted to feel it all with you, to try everything and anything you were both comfortable with.
“It felt right,” you hummed, focusing on holding her and occasionally kissing wherever you could reach at the moment. While Tara showered you with love through words, you preferred touch, and it worked for both of you perfectly. Tara who was starved for touch, you who were starved for words of affirmation, I was a match made in heaven in her mind.
You stayed like that for some time, easily fifteen minutes, if not closer to twenty. Just cuddling and loving one another before you finally went to clean up, not leaving the shared shower until all the hot water had run out.
A/N: Well... Sam may have been a tiny bit over the top/out of character for the sake of the plot 🤣🤣
722 notes · View notes
marikosenwrites · 9 months ago
Text
karasuno boys - dating headcanons (pt. 1)!
a/n: sen here!! heyy obsessing over our haikyuu boys are we <3 yes i am i'm only on season two right now though, almost season three!! i'll be doing aoba jousai, nekoma, and fukuroudani gakuen! enjoy!
characters: hinata shouyou, kageyama tobio, tanaka ryuunosuke, sugawara koushi (suga-san🥹), sawamura daichi, tsukishima kei (TSUKKI🥹) [pt. 1], yamaguchi tadashi, takeda ittetsu (just me and one of my favorites), ukai keishin [and in that order] {pt.2}
pt. 1 || pt. 2
notes: in this au, kiyoko can't be married to tanaka...yeah. they're still in highschool, btw
gn!reader
Tumblr media
↳ ❝ [ 日向翔陽 HINATA SHOUYOU ] ¡! ❞
Tumblr media
-this cutie omg
-probably the first to confess
-gets all blushy when you're around at the start of the relationship
-you love ruffling his hair
-if you watch him practice until the end, he treats you to meat buns!! if he doesn't have enough money, he'll just share one with you
-kageyama is jealous omg and tsukishima is just like "the chibi got a girlfriend??"
-loves you so very much
-his love language HAS to be words of affirmation and physical affection
-you just can't help but return the affection
-if you don't know how to play volleyball, he's gonna teach you!!
-if you know- he's going to ask you to talk to him
-dates will be chaotic and affectionate
-often cooking dates!
-you love his family especially natsu
-also love them amusement park dates with him
-he's so fun loving and all
-kisses are very innocent, close to no spice at all except when he's feeling super annoyed or something
-loves cuddling with you when it's bedtime <33
-does NOT have a specific schedule rest assured
-calls you his dove (aww)
-you love calling him sunshine <333
-HE'S JUST SO BRIGHT
-I SWEAR
Tumblr media
↳ ❝ [ 影山飛雄 KAGEYAMA TOBIO ] ¡! ❞
Tumblr media
-a sweetheart actually
-he's so cold on the outside but lights up when you're there
-kisses have a little bit of spice
-he's too prideful to confess first ig so you make the move
-loves it when you come to his practice to support him
-at some point he has requested you to become a manager because sometimes ukai thinks you're a distraction for him so asks you to walk out for a bit to let kageyama concentrate
-you bet he has worried over it because he didn't know where you went
-ok onto the main shit
-dates are always somehow sport related (HOW DOES HE KEEP FINDING THEM)
-sometimes an outing or two when he's actually free and not busy with volleyball stuff
-you'd think he isn't clingy...WELL IT'S THE OPPOSITE ALRIGHT.
-he actually craves YOUR attention and YOURS ONLY
-i think you two would have a cat together (named it NOTHING after the other volleyball players you know :/)
-loves your cuddles too
-WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT
-YOU KNOW HE BUYS THEM DRINKS RIGHT
-HE WOULD BUY LIKE HUNDREDS FOR YOU IF YOU WANT
-aww the little (wait he's tall) guy
Tumblr media
↳ ❝ [ 田中龍之介 TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE ] ¡! ❞
Tumblr media
-the hot-headed guy just can't get enough of you
-you sometimes make fun of him for being almost bald-
-but he's okay with it because he loves you (as long as you dont do it that often)
-okay so firstly like kiyoko WHEN HE SEES YOU HE CONFESSES TO YOU ALMOST IMMEDIATELY
-one second he's dumbfounded by your beauty, the other he's confessing to you already
-like you reject him first few times
-AND THEN AND THEN YOU START TO FALL FOR HIM
-THEREFORE YOU ACCEPT WOOOOO
-it's uh "Y/N-SAN! I LIKE YOU CAN YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!!!" and then you're just like "ah- yeah. mhm."
-he's just like :o WHAT
-okay that's it for the confession
-dates are always what you want
-if it happens you want to make cake, go for an ice cream shop, an amusement park- whatever, you name it and he can afford it? YOU'RE GOING
-they're all so sweet...
-he's also needy at some point when you're dating
-so...MORE IN MY NSFW LATER
Tumblr media
↳ ❝ [ 菅原孝史 SUGAWARA KOUSHI ] ¡! ❞
Tumblr media
-i'm gonna bet 100 dollars that he's the one confessing
-STEP ONE: get you as his girlfriend
-firstly he's going to ask you to meet him during lunch in the morning
-second when you're both there he confesses
-to his surprise you accept to go out with him and one date turns into two, into three and ON
-STEP TWO: MORE DATES TO COMEEE
-always ice cream dates and baking dates
-always appears to get flour in his fluffy hair
-ALSO ALSO YOU LOVE PATTING HIS HAIR AT ALL TIMES IT'S LIKE COMFORTING YOURSELF
-sometimes picnics too <333
-STEP THREE: there is none for now but THERE WILL BE SOON. SOON ENOUGH.
-his way of giving you affection is by kissing you, cuddling, and giving you praises...
-do you have a praise kink (nvm forget i asked that)
-cuddling in bed is one of his favorite ways to go to sleep
-you stroking his back is too
-you guys are always the talk of the karasuno vb boys group when you guys get together for gatherings (the perfect couple?!?!?!?!)
Tumblr media
↳ ❝ [ 澤村大地 SAWAMURA DAICHI ] ¡! ❞
Tumblr media
-he's definitely the one to confess first being the big boy man he is <3
-literally will kiss you when you accept
-so taken aback you felt like you were going to faint
-his kisses are so gentle help
-ok maybe not sometimes but we all know when that is
-love playing with his ears mayybe?? i know there's nothing different with the rest, but i just feel like it's with daichi
-your first date is an amusement park one ���✨
-p.s. you shared the cotton candy lmao-
-he literally walked you home and your parents invited him in for dinner
-they like him very much thank you
-relationship has been approved now your parents are urging him to marry you even though it's only one week into the relationship-
-now HE'S the one that pats your head every time he passes you in the hallway or whatsoever
-when you move in together LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS YOUR CHOICE NOW
-you can choose the flat, the decorations, the vibes, the furniture- EVERYTHING
-loves you that much yes
-the sweetest guy ever NO DEBATE
Tumblr media
↳ ❝ [ 月島蛍 TSUKISHIMA KEI ] ¡! ❞
Tumblr media
-SALTY SHIMA. THIS MAN IS SO SALTY
-i swear bro
-he has rizz though that's for sure
-he confesses to you first (it was during lunch you remember the day like it was yesterday)
-his kisses are half spicy (igg since tsukishima is that kinda person)
-the mean to the public and only kind to you kind of person <3
-dates are usually home dates (he's an introvert (i headcanon))
-perhaps if you can persuade him (it's a 50/50)
-first date was a movie date
-then you went home with him (you went to his house)
-and met his parents
-they liked you very much <33 now treat you like their daughter
-the next time you went on a date, you brought him to yours and he made a good impression but they don't love him as much as his parents do to you
-i will write the time skip arc for this because i am biased and you literally can't stop me (but tell me if you want more i'll reblog it with more hcs)
-you were so happy for him when he joined the sendai frogs
-cheered for him on every game (LIKE THE SHIRT AND THE SIGNS AND STUFF)
-facepalmed himself out of spite ya bet he got a scolding for that
-"KEI KEI KEI GANABTTE," that was you, screaming at the top of your lungs at your HUSBAND.
-"oi, tsukki, who's that?"
-tsukishima facepalmed himself, earning a glare from you, "my wife."
-"EHH?? TSUKKI HAS A WIFE??"
-lmao the most normal occurrence
-after that koganegawa would often come to you and ask for dirt on kei (screw him for facepalming)
-saltyshima (in the public) → sweetieshima (in front of you only)
Tumblr media
©marikosenwrites 2024-25 all banners, dividers, and work. please do not steal. i own none of the HAIKYUU!!/ハイキュー!! characters mentioned. reblogs, likes, and comments are welcomed. <3
Tumblr media
520 notes · View notes
min1check · 1 year ago
Text
Leto! Joker x side chick! Reader ig…
Tumblr media
1248 words
Barely proofread ts so i’m so sorry if u see errors
pt 2
Description: You work at one of Joker’s clubs and he starts to take an interest in you….
Every night there would be presents and money left on my small table in my small ass kitchen in this small ass apartment. 
It all started when I finally learned the real identity of my boss’s boss’s boss at the club I worked at. I really needed money desperately for my family who lived out of the country. I’m currently working on the papers so they can gain legal presence but until then I need to work hard and study hard. 
At the club I worked at, they paid me better than most places and I would be able to go to university in the daytime and work at night. 
The club was pretty high class, there were many high profile politicians who were VIPs. Given that they were even at a club, they were most if not all sleezebags who tried to hit on the staff to the point that I could file sexual harassment charges. But nevermind that. 
The club was so high class and full of VIPs that I didn’t expect it to be owned by the biggest crime lord in this city, the Joker. This whole city was corrupt in and out. Even if I tried to file those sexual harassment charges I would’ve been shut up instantly. 
When I saw this head of green hair and his pale deathly looking skin and his red lips that I couldn’t tell if it was lipstick or blood, I tried my best to not be noticed by him. 
Though he looked like a corpse he was extremely attractive. Maybe in another universe I would actually try to get at him. Well and if his fellow Clown Queen of Crime didn't exist. She frightens me even more than Joker. Well actually that’s a lie but as a girl I can say that we’re ruthless when it comes to boyfriends and husbands and such. Too blind and in too much love to use actual reason.
Harley’s beautiful though they genuinely look good together. 
I went over to Joker’s table where he was talking to (or more like taunting) his client to drop off the drinks. It seemed that everyone else already knew what his regular drink was and his client’s. 
I tried my best not to mess up or to not loudly drop the drinks because at this moment I could actually not stop my whole body from shaking. They continued talking about their deal without even looking at me. I kept a friendly smile on my face. 
I walked off a bit quickly because I was terrified. Yet I felt like someone was staring right at me. I quickly turned my head and all I could see in that moment was Joker with his usual devilishly grin looking straight at me. My blood ran cold. 
When I was out of his sight I closed my eyes and started to pray. 
‘Dear God, please forgive me for any sins I have committed for I do not want to die tonight. I have too much to live for so please don’t let me die. Thank you for everything you have blessed me with Lord, amen.’ 
I was crying internally. 
Literally was gonna kill myself right then and there. But I brought myself back to reality and back to work. 
Whenever I would come to work the Joker would be there with Harley. 
I literally think I’m going crazy because I think he keeps looking straight at me…. With his girlfriend/wife/partner in crime which was even worse. Yeah he was hot but cheating men are scum of the Earth. And Joker’s a mass murderer and other stuff. To be honest I kinda forgot I’ve been too busy with school to care about politics….
I finally got a shift off and a day off of school today. I’m just gonna sleep and lounge around and be fat. I got out of my bed to go get some more ice cream in my kitchen. 
It felt a bit unnerving when I was in the kitchen, like someone was watching me. I shook off the feeling because I had locks on every single window and door. The crime in my country is a bit bad so Gotham wasn’t that much different. 
As soon as I turned around to go back to my bedroom with my ice cream in hand…
“Boo!” 
“What the fuck?!” I screamed so loud that I dropped my bowl of ice cream and it shattered. 
“The look on your face doll… it’s so… funny!” The intruder was the Joker and he couldn’t and wouldn’t stop laughing at my reaction. 
“…” I just stood there in silence thinking about how that bowl was so expensive…
I didn’t want my floor to be sticky so I started picking up shards of the really expensive bowl. 
“Aww~ Are you.. mad doll~?” He teased me with his usual grin. 
“Not really, I’m just a little sad because this bowl was really expensive.” I sighed to myself. 
“If that’s it then here.” Joker tossed money at me. 
“Um… It’s okay I’ll just work for it back.” My mom always taught me that I shouldn’t accept money and that I should always offer to pay so I gave that money back to him. 
“Just take it Doll, think of it as my~ first~ gift~ to~ you~” he really emphasized on the last part like really. 
He got comfy and sat down on a table chair as I cleaned the floor from the sticky mess. 
That sounds a little wrong, I just mean my ice cream trust…
After cleaning it all, it occurred to me…
Why and how did the Joker get into my apartment…
My blood ran cold. I feel like I could turn into a reptile with how much my blood goes cold. 
“I liked seeing you at my club but I like seeing you in this shaggy apartment more.” He looked at me. 
“Um… how did you get in here?” I spoke quietly afraid I would somehow strike a nerve. 
“It was easy! I broke your window.” He spoke like he just finished climbing Mt. Everest. 
My mouth dropped to the floor. 
Like I tried to close it but it just wouldn't. 
“…” 
“What~? Cat got your tongue Doll?” He grinned. 
I’m actually going to kill myself. 
At this point I hope he pulls out the glock 19 and shoots me….
Wait but all my windows are barred up…
I looked into my living room and realized there was glass everywhere and the metal bar was stretched apart enough where it would fit the Joker perfectly. 
Calculating the cost in my head I actually started to cry. Tears ran down my face. 
I would be fine if I picked up a few extra shifts but I had to study more because finals were coming up. I’ll have to cut down on food and sleep…
The Joker awkwardly patted my back. 
“Here’s some more money Princess.” 
“I.. Cant accept it.” I said between sniffles and pushed his money back to him. 
He suddenly grabbed my head with both his hands and made me stare him in the eye. 
“Take. The. Money. Princess. Or else I’ll shove it down your throat.” His face was way too close to mine. 
“Thank you…” I tried my best to smile while he was still manhandling my head. 
He kissed me out of literally nowhere. 
My blood went cold again. 
I don’t want to be a mistress or some side bitch….
And Harley’s gonna kill me……
Yet it felt so good. 
723 notes · View notes
b3ach-bunn7 · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST
Texts with your best friend Touya (who’s a little bit in love with you)
no quirk au <3
—————————————————————————-
January 9th
8:47 pm
You: OH TOUYAAAAA
You: it’s nearly ur bd 😁 what shall I get u
Touya: Nothing
Touya: Just Ur love 😍
You: ew
You: shall I get u some new earrings
You: OH I COULD PAY FOR ANOTHER PIERCING
Touya: Literally where
Touya: I think I’ve pierced every available location on my face
Touya: Unless… You meant somewhere else 😳
You: EWWWWWWWW
You: UR SUCH A FREAK
Touya: I meant my belly button?
You: stfu
Touya: Get your head out the gutter
You: shut up pooya
Touya: Wow you really got me there!
You: HUSH
January 12th
8:39 am
You: bruh where r u
You: homeroom started like ten minutes ago
Touya: I just woke up
Touya: Leaving onw buy shoti is lissing me kff
You: okay English!!!
Touya: Kys
You: but you can type that right…
January 12th
1:40 pm
You: Touyaaaaaa
You: can we go get food
You: the canteen stuff is rubbish today
You: plz I’m so sos is so hungry I’m dying
Touya: Fatty
You: HEY
You: SO MEAN
Touya: I’m only joking sweetcheeks
You: gross
Touya: You love it
Touya: Shiggy wants to come 2
Touya: Is that Ok
You: sigh fine I guess
Touya: Shall I tell him he’ll be third wheeling if he does 😳
You: yes 🥰🥰🥰😍 he just can’t interrupt our time together my sweet
Touya: Ew
You: you love it
January 13th
7:40 pm
You: GST ON MINECRAFTTT
Touya: I’m doing homework
You: I’m doing your mum OHHH
Touya: Woah
Touya: Telling her u said that
You: PLZ IM JOKING
You: I’ll tell her ur telling porky pies
You: Rei would trust my word over urs anyways 😈
Touya: Lowkey she would
Touya: My own mother 😢
You: I’m just better ig
You: how long r u gonna be
Touya: Give me like fifteen mins
You: BOO
Touya: Bro Aizawa is up my ass rn
Touya: If I hand one more piece of work in late he’s gonna acc kill me
You: idk why u hate him so much
You: i love him
You: and he has that sexy teacher look🤤 those luscious locks
Touya: R u sure u can get off his dick long enough for us to play
You: HAHAHAH
You: STFU
You: ur just jealous
Touya: So very
Touya: Why aren’t u hyping ME up like that
You: cause u smell?
Touya: I’m not playing
You: IM JOKING
You: U smell so good and yummy
You: like cigarette smoke 😍
Touya: 🙄
You: sassy 💁‍♀️
Touya: Stop distracting me so I can work
You: okay smelly
January 15th
2:30 pm
Touya: Y/N
Touya: Y/n
Touya: Y/NNNN
Touya: Queen
Touya: Sweetheart
Touya: Angel
You: if you throw one more piece of paper at my head I’m blocking u
Touya: You won’t check ur phone
Touya: How else can I get ur attention from across the room
You: WE R I. CLASS
Touya: So?
You: think I figured out why Aizawa doesn’t rate u
You: pay attention
Touya: But I miss u
Touya: And I’m bored
You: U LITERALLY SAW ME LIKE HALF AN HOUR AGO
You: AT LINCH
Touya: Ur point?
You: omfg
Touya: So what’s up
You: I’m gonna kill you
January 17th
6:50 pm
Fuyumi: Hi Y/N
You: hey fuyumi!!
You: everything okay?
Fuyumi: Yeah, it’s great!!
Fuyumi: Just wanted to tell u that everyone needs to be at ours for Touya’s party at 5:00
Fuyumi: We’ll tell him to come home at like six so that gives us some time to get everything ready
You: beautiful
You: do u think he has any idea were throwing him a party 🤭🤭
Fuyumi: I don’t think so 😆 we have been very careful
Fuyumi: Even shoto has kept his mouth shut
You: yeah I had to threaten twice a couple times before he promised to not tell
You: IM EXCITED
Fuyumi: Me too!!!
Fuyumi: Can’t wait to see u 😊
You: I can’t wait either!!!
Fuyumi: I hope he’ll like it
Fuyumi: We’re getting mum to drive all across town to get him that cake he loves
Fuyumi: I really want him to have fun
You: don’t worry babe he will have fun
You: and if he doesn’t I’ll force him to 😈
January 17th
7:00pm
Touya: U guys r throwing me a surprise party right
You: what?
Touya: For my bd
Touya: Fuyumi is being all suspicious
Touya: Told me I have to leave the house tomorrow but also come back at six oclock??
Touya: And the little brat keeps giggling at me
You: uhm don’t call little shoto that
Touya: Ur deflecting
Touya: They r throwing a party aren’t they
You: they aren’t
You: idk why you think that
Touya: Y/N
You: WHY DO U HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING
Touya: Lol
You: please please don’t tell them you know
You: they’re so excited for do this for you
You: [screenshot attachment]
You: look what Fuyumi said to me
Touya: Oh
You: please don’t spoil 😔
Touya: Don’t worry your pretty little head
Touya: I won’t
You: YAY
You: LOVE U
Touya: Ly2
January 18th
12:00am
You: [audio messsage]
You: enjoy me whisper singing happy bd to u
You: HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY WOOOOO
You: LOVE U THE MOST
You: okay I need to sleep we have school tomorrow
January 18th
3:07am
Touya: Thank you y/n
Touya: Ly the most too
January 18th
6:15 pm
You: Touya where tf r u
Touya: I’m On my way!
You: we’ll be On your way! FASTER
Touya: STFU
You: U STFU
Touya: U TOLD ME TO MAKE THIS BELIEVEBE
Touya: MY FAMILY WOULD NOT BELEIWV I GOT THERE ON TIME
You: wait ur right lowkey
Touya: exactly
You: well walk faster
Touya: I’m not walking
Touya: I’m driving
You: HOW TF R U TEXTING ME
Touya: Imd riving one handed?
You: GET TF OFF UR PHONE 😭
January 19th
12:04 am
Touya: Y/N
Touya: Thank u for gifts
Touya: The strap for my bass
Touya: And the necklace
Touya: I lowbe them
Touya: and the aprty was so fun
Touya: I lovwd it
Touya: and I lobe you
You: that’s okay 😁
You: are u drunk rn🤔
Touya: Snuch out with bawks
Touya: Hrwks
Touya: Hawks
Touya: Raided fathers liquoye supply
You: you went to your dad’s house????
Touya: NO
Touya: never
Touya: stolen from when he was gere
Touya: fukcing loser 😂😂
You: where r u guys?
Touya: hawks house
Touya: his oarents arent home
Touya: u wanbawcome over
Touya: I’ll kuck him out
You: u can’t kick hawks out of his own house 😭
You: why do u even need to kick him out we’re friends
Touya: he flirst with y so much
Touya: flirts
Touya: pisses me off
You: awwwww r u jelly 🥺
Touya: yes
You: LOL
You: yeah maybe lay off the the drinks buddy
Touya: I live u
Touya: love
Touya: I loved the gifts u got me rhwnks
You: you already said babe
Touya: sorry baby Im so drunk
You: okay I’m going to go before you say something you’ll regret in the morning
You: goodnight birthday boy
January 19th
1:05 pm
Touya: Please erase last night from ur memory
You: last night was a movie 😍
Touya: Yeah a fucking horror
You: HAHAHA
Touya: My head is killing me
You: painkillers?
Touya: Idk where they r and Hawks is sleeping
You: did u guys just wake up 😭
Touya: I think I slept like at like five am
Touya: It’s nice smoking inside a house and not in some alleyway so mum doesn’t catch me
You: BOO
You: ur lungs hate u
Touya: I hate them back
Touya: It’s why I smoke
You: LOL SHUT UP
Touya: Fuck my HEAD
You: that’s what he said
Touya: Ew man
You: you love it
You: go drink some h2o
Touya: Enough chemistry in too tired
You: sigh fine
You: go get some WATER 💦
Touya: Fine
You: bye baby 🤪
Touya: I’ll kill you
You: but I thought you love me??
Touya: Ur dead to me
You: HAHHA
January 21st
7:06 pm
You: Touya
You: can I come over plz
Touya: Erm what 😳😳😳
You: seriously
You: can I
Touya: Yh ofc
Touya: You okay?
You: yh
You: well no actually
You: my dads being my dad again
You: I just can’t be in this house rn
You: I need to get away from him
Touya: Yeah u can anytime
Touya: Yk my family loves u
You: thanks
Touya: You want me to pick u up?
You: nah I wanna walk
You: thanks again
You: love u
Touya: Ly2
January 29th
5:28 pm
You: [image attachment]
You: BRUH HOW DID I LOSEEEE
You: I ATE SK BAD
Touya: Bruh get off dress to impress 😭
Touya: U r beefing ten year olds rn
You: idgaf
You: ten year olds who can’t fucking dress
You: I actually hate this game
You: that is NOT STEAM PUNK WHAT THE FUCK
Touya: Maybe get good
You: maybe kys???????
Touya: Words hurt 😔
You: man up?
Touya: Woah
Touya: Okay just perpetuate gender norms..
You: define perpetuate?
You: YH that’s what i thought
February 6th
7:06 pm
You: bro
You: all my friends have valentines apart from ME
Touya: Get good?
You: okay and where’s urs?
Touya: texting her rn 😍
You: omg 😳
You: but on a real I feel horrifically left out
You: Toga keeps flaunting it in my face
Touya: That little freak got one?
Touya: Who
You: yk that girl in 1-A with the chubby cheeks
You: they r so cute omg
You: how come toga has a lesbian lover and I’m jobless and hoeless 😔
Touya: I can help with one of those things
You: u hiring???
Touya: I’ll be ur valentine
You: I can’t tell if ur joking
Touya: I’m not
You: do u have one romantic bone in ur body
Touya: I can think of one 😳
You: LMAO EW
Touya: Nah fr I’ll be ur valentine
You: okay…
You: ask me properly tho
Touya: Okay
Touya: Hey Y/N
You: oh hi Touya! What’s up
Touya: Will u do me the great honour of being my valentine?
You: 😊 yes!
Touya: Thank you 😊😍
February 10th
2:02 pm
Touya: Omg
Touya: Y/N guess what
You: don’t text me in class lil bro
Touya: Someone asked me to be their valentine 🤪
You: what
You: Who
You: is she in our homeroom
You: did u tell her ur mine
Touya: Woahh
Touya: Jealous much
You: no I just don’t want to be a side piece 😔
Touya: No Dw I told her I’m urs 🥺
You: shush
You: yk what I meant
You: who was it tho
Touya: Idk some girl in my maths class
Touya: She seemed pretty sad when I said no
Touya: The ladies love me
You: she’ll get over it!
Touya: LOL
February 14th
8:03 am
You: OMG
You: ARE THESE FLOWERS MINE
Touya: No I got them for ur dad actually
You: TOUYAAA
You: THEYRE MY FAVS
You: THANM U SM
Touya: Anytime Valentine
February 14th
1:20 pm
Touya: Meet at my car
Touya: I’m taking u out for lunch
You: thank gosh
You: they’re selling some mystery meatloaf type deal and I’m no happy
You: hawksy wants to come too
Touya: No
Touya: Just u
You: girl he’s not gonna do anything
Touya: No this is like
Touya: Hold on
You: okay hawks is looking at his phone and typing
You: r u texting him
You: okay he magically doesn’t wanna come along anymore
Touya: Aw :((
Touya: I’m waiting outside
You: see u in a bit smelly
February 14th
1:50 pm
You: ur such a child
You: IM RIGHT IN FRONT OD U JUST TALK TO ME
Touya: NO
You: WHY
Touya: IK SCARED
You: I can see u smiling
Touya: Shut up
Touya: Okay listen
Touya: If u don’t like what I’m about to say we r going to act like this never happened okay
Touya: I will delete the message out of existence and thus out of ur mind
You: okay…
Touya: Okay so I kind of like actually asked u to be my Valentine not just because ur lonely
Touya: And I like really like you
Touya: As in like like
Touya: But I don’t wanna ruin our friendship because ur the best friend I’ve ever had and will ever have
Touya: So if u don’t feel the same we can just pretend this never happened
February 14th
8:00 pm
You: I’m home safe xxx
Touya: Don’t care
You: okay mr message me when ur back
You: okay mr parked in my driveway to make sure I got in okay???
Touya: Shut up
You: wait hold on
You: is that why uninvited hawks
You: so that u could ask me out
Touya: Yeah and the sky is also blue
You: SHUT UL
Touya: He’s so stupid yk
Touya: It was his idea ??
Touya: And he forgot
You: hey three’s a party!
Touya: So you would’ve kissed me as aggressively as you did if Hawks was there?
You: wait ur right..
You: Oh well
You: it was about time anyways
You: took u like three years and u did it over DMS
Touya: I’m shy 🥺
You: EW TF
You: I take the kiss back
Touya: These hickeys tell me a different story
You: HSUTUP
Touya: You love it
You: I love YOU 🫵
Touya: Yeah
Touya: Love you too
—————————————————————————
This was NOT supposed to end with a confession but I physically cannot help myself 😅 I love these text posts they’re so fun!!
Hope u all enjoyed <3
184 notes · View notes
skrunksthatwunk · 6 months ago
Text
some other adventures from this have been
three CONSECUTIVE scenes of kuwabara going "you're NOT gonna die on me again urameshi :((" during genkai's tournament. they JUST cut to him for that and then cut away it's SICKENING. like heyy reminder that kuwabara was traumatized a bit by yusuke's death teehee and then back to like. exploding shuriken fights
realizing how much they lean into the "fight me fight me fight me" stuff in the rando arc and how much less that's the case with time because like. they actually become friends who have other stuff to talk about now :)
great beasts/maze castle/saint beasts/WHATEVER arc (and genkai's tourny) has just. they're telling each other to shut up Constantly like even more than i thought
i think i mentioned this a while back but im working on an "every kuwameshi" video right (yes it's ridiculous i know somebody take them away from me) and i just need to say im so fucking sick of editing the saint beasts arc </3 pls i love that one normally but this section of the video is like. 70% silent group shots it's so bad and not fun to watch or edit and i hate it :[
#ok i know i said in the tags that i was really committed to the 'EVERY kuwameshi' thing but i might get rid of the shots where thhey're not#like. posing or interacting or talking or anything bc that's just not really worth it#it'd make it faster and probably better to watch#but i'm also worried that my focus on condensing it when i know it's gonna be such a long video#means that it'll be kind of an overwhelming barrage of content otherwise. which wouldn't be good for a long video like this#so group shots like that can create natural breaks. idk i'm not sure#i have not done this before :/ and i hopefully won't do it again with a series this long like holy hell#i will also say that some of the magic of kuwameshi is a little lost in that just because you have no point of reference for like#how they act w each other vs with everyone else. both in similarities and differences#you don't get a good grasp on how common these moments are relatively speaking and you don't get a great sense of their group dynamics#and it actually makes me kind of sad to hone in on only those two because like. everyone is so damn special there#i don't like yyh bc i think kuwabara and yusuke should kiss or whatever it's bc of how well realized these relationships (esp the#friendships and not-quite-friendships) are. they're so multifaceted that focusing on only two characters robs the audience of the context#those moments sit in. kuwameshi + hiei vs kuwameshi + botan vs kuwameshi + genkai are all different and special dynamics and by clipping#only those two it kind of flattens things a little. at least if you don't make an effort to pay attention to the remaining context while#watching. however i love those two and highlighting their relationship specifically doesn't inherently mean that they're the only ones#i think worth your time nor the only characters i care to see them interact with. yyh is very special to me and i don't want to diminish it#by reducing it to something with a couple of peak homoerotic relationships. it's far far better than that#however. since this is a tiny fandom and kuwameshi isn't exactly the most popular dynamic in the world i feel a little better doing so#because it's like.. it's not as if it'll sway the fandom's conversations THAT hard away from all the stuff we love about yyh right?#such that the ship is known before the media itself. at least that's what i hope. there's pieces of media i'm attached to mostly for certai#characters or dynamics and that's usually limited to media i'm not That into. but yyh is MINE and i don't want anyone to think this is all#about it that matters to me. ugh idk why i'm getting so worked up about this i just. don't want it to be reduced to uwu gayboy stuff ig#like yeah uwu gayboys you're not wrong i just. there's More Going On There#and although i like to think i focus on the Other Stuff a decent amount in all the media that means a lot to me it's very important that i#make sure to do that with yyh. i guess.#anyway im also thinking about making a kuwabara cat mention video. i have like 8 lines/scenes i'm thinking of lol#(there's more than i thought so ig i'll wait and as i work keep an eye out for more of em)
7 notes · View notes
aziraphales-library · 5 months ago
Note
Hii mods
I was wondering if you had any fics where azi and Crowley are on tv shows?
Like I’ve seen ones about them on strictly, would I lie to you, antiques roadshow, bake off, the office, but it’s super hard to find fics like that because I’m not aware of there being a specific tag for stuff like that ? (Apart from human Au ig).
Thank you for everything you do on here btw lol :))
Hello! We have an #actors au tag you might be interested in (which includes Slow Show, so there's no need to add it in the notes!). Here are some TV show fics outside of the ones you've already listed...
First dates by Amyk89 (M)
Do you know that reality TV show called First dates? This is a human au, where Aziraphale goes on that and meets bartender Crowley there. If you haven’t seen the show, it’s just about 2 people going on a blind date, then at the end of their first date, the host asks if they want to go on a second date. It’s super awkward. But just imagine how awkward it’ll be when you’ve been flirting with the bartender the whole night?
666 Heartbeats by AppleSeeds (T)
Aziraphale is a contestant on his favourite game show, 666 Heartbeats, where the amount of time he will have to answer the questions is dictated by how fast his heart is beating. If he wants to win big, he'll just have to stay calm. Easier said than done when he has an enormous crush on the host, who won't stop reassuringly touching him.
A Narrow Escape to the Country by shaggydogstail (T)
Crowley and Aziraphale appear as house hunters on BBC daytime institution, Escape to the Country. They are incredibly annoying. Sympathies, please, for the unlucky producer who is not getting paid enough to put up with their nonsense.
How to Win a Lifetime Achievement Award for Services to Television (and how not to) by GaryOldman (T)
Crowley hosts a late night comedy talk show. Aziraphale hosts a feel good morning talk show. When Crowley is asked to present Aziraphale with a lifetime achievement award, everything goes a bit skew-whiff. ----- Normally when I don’t get something that everyone else seems to be mad on my first point of call is the wonderful world of the internet, but we’ve had a falling out you see, the internet and I. Despite my many years as late night show host meets investigative journalist meets comic genius meets veritable sex god (though Wikipedia only acknowledges the first of these accomplishments, despite my many attempts at editing the listing) they have turned on me. I’m a gif. And a meme.
Dating in the Dark by miraworos (E)
Anthony J. Crowley, owner of a failing joke-shop, and Aziraphale, bookshop proprietor with an overbearing family, meet as contestants on a blind dating show. They form an instant connection as roommates but soon find themselves at odds as they compete to win the top spot, and the favor of the same lady.
Married at First Sight by Aracloptia (T)
“Well, that was a thing,” Crowley said once they were out of earshot. Without talking about it, they were both heading down the field, towards the lake where the photographer (and likely a few more people from the TV crew) was waiting. “That was a wedding,” Aziraphale replied, surprised at his own annoyance that somebody called a wedding a ‘thing’. “Yeah, obviously, didn’t miss that part,” Crowley said with a shrug, and waved abruptly in Aziraphale’s general direction. “Neither did you, from the looks of it, since you’re dressed like a wedding bride and everything.” “Excuse me, I am a—“ Aziraphale stopped himself, and started over. In which Aziraphale ends up marrying a rude stranger who wears sunglasses.
- Mod D
123 notes · View notes
psychesalcove · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
„ i took a little journey into the unknown, come back changed I can feel it in my bones
𝜗𝜚 luke castellan x gn reader
Tumblr media
synopsis ; headcanons for going on a quest with our favorite hermes boy, luke castellan!! (not possessed by kronos au!!)
requested: yes, by anon !!
⚠️: not proofread AT ALL, being on a demigod quest, being injured, stealing cars, luke being a lil mean but then apologizing, mentions of eating, joking an British ppl (if you're sensitive to that sorta stuff ig)
💬: thanks for the request babe!! I hope you enjoy — I added a bit of writing at the end that isn't headcanons bc i felt like it so I hope that's okay!! Love you!
Tumblr media
⚚ going on a quest with luke will for sure feel like a fever dream
⚚ he tries to act all tough and shit and then he'll randomly turn to you and be like: "I'm kinda scared just so you know"
⚚ he's such a dork omg 😭😭
⚚ BUT he's also really good at combat, so you don't have to worry as much about monsters getting to you when you're with him
⚚ he would probably hot wire a car so the 2 of you had a way of transportation besides walking
⚚ lukes also probably really good at talking with people and making them give him things (being a child of hermes and such)
⚚ he would also make sure beforehand that you had more than enough ambrosia and nectar,
⚚ "just to be safe" he says knowing dam (see what i did there) well he'll probably be the one getting hurt
⚚ also, if he didn't end up getting you guys a car, and you're on the side of the road, he will follow the sidewalk rule and make sure you're never by the road
⚚ I also feel like he would be really good at telling if people are monsters in disguise if he pays attention to them, so you can have a higher chance to avoid them
⚚ luke also def has moodswings of being extremely serious and making sure you are on track and being completely distracted by everything
⚚ if the two of you do come across a monster, he will not hesitate to kill it as long as your safe
⚚ and, if you do ever get hurt, either from a monster or something else, he'll turn into your parent 100%
⚚ "yknow how stupid that was of you to do? Did you like not think about what could happen to you or what could've happened? Do you just not think about that sort of stuff in your head?"
⚚ yeah my guy can be a bit rude
⚚ but lukes just expressing that he loves you and doesn't want anything to happen to you while you're out there
⚚ he would realize later that he was being a dick and would apologize: "I didn't mean what I said, just so yknow, I care about you. i don't want to see you do stupid things without thinking first."
⚚ if the two of you couldn't find a hotel or somewhere to sleep, he would happily give you his sleeping bag if you show any signs that you're cold -> and he would 100% give you his jacket if he noticed you were cold as well!!
⚚ it would probably just end up with the two of you cuddling though lmao
⚚ he's also probably really good at bandaging injuries because of all the times he's hurt himself while training
⚚ so when you do get hurt, he'll bandage it for you (not as good as a child of apollo, but it's the thought that counts)
⚚ I mentioned this in another post, but I feel like luke would absolutely suck at reading or trying to understand any type of map, so do not rely on him for that
⚚ he'll look at the map for a good 10 minutes and then point in a direction saying that's where you need to go and it's the way you just came
⚚ luke: "love, I think that I found the way to the nearest gas station" and you look and where he's saying and you're like: "hon, you know that way is just thick woods for miles, right?"
⚚ and then he'll roll his eyes and get all sassy that he was wrong about it
⚚ jokingly of course
⚚ let's say you hurt your arm or something like that,
⚚ luke will gladly tie your hair up (if it's long enough) or brush it for you if it makes it easier
⚚ like the gentleman he is
⚚ he would also make sure that you got enough food, and will even give you his food if he notices that you're still hungry
⚚ if you guys were far enough from any cities at night, you two will definitely stargaze
⚚ I feel like luke would secretly be such a nerd about space, so he'll start pointing out different constellations, stars, and planets you guys can see
⚚ he'll also be really smart with the money you guys have,and I feel like him being one of the older campers let's him have that maturity over the other campers
༉‧₊˚.
the dimly lit diner casted a yellow glow across both yours and lukes face as you took your seat at a booth. you and like had been on the quest for around a week now, and so far, nothing extreme had happened.
it was a simple quest after all, just retrieving an item that iris had lost. the quest had taken you to a more unpopulated town surrounded by woods. being in a less populated area had its drawbacks, but it also had good qualities.
monsters would be more common and would be able to find you and luke easier, but less mortals saw you two; which meant less police reports and not being a fugitive–which is something both of you were trying to avoid.
"so what do you think you'll get?" luke asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts. he had already looked through the worn down menu, you figured, looking at how it was neatly placed back down on the table and unopened.
"probably just some waffles and hot chocolate," you said, briefly scanning the menu in your hands seeing what was available. luke nodded. "how about you,?" you asked, putting down the menu.
"a burger and some hot tea," he said. you snorted at his response.
"you gonna start speaking in a english accent when you get that tea?" you said jokingly, smiling lightly when you saw him roll his eyes playfully at your statement.
"oh definitely, going to fully embrace that part of me with some tea," he said, continuing the joke. "but, on another note, how do you think we go about handling where to go next?" he asked, motioning his head twords your bag where the map was held: as luke wasn't trusted with it anymore.
"how about we talk about that when my stomach doesn't feel like it's going shrink and die," you said as a waiter; who was probably in her 80s, headed twords your booth.
𖹭 song from title: meet me in the woods – lord Huron 𖹭
Tumblr media Tumblr media
248 notes · View notes
pankowblues · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: rafe cameron x reader fake dating
summary: fake dating Rafe Cameron and but you two end up falling in love
warnings: kissing ig
word count: 911
a/n: idk i have nothing to say but the dividers ill fix one day i dont like how there so big what are your thoughts on them please share
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You and Rafe walk hand in hand inside your kitchen into your kitchen where Rafe’s family and yours is sitting. You and Rafe had to start fake dating for your parents to I guess like you more? You don’t even know why. “You don’t have to kiss… just give me a peck on the cheek” you whisper to him as you guys walk him. He listens and fake smiles to your parents and gives you a little peck. You guys go and sit down in your seats and start eating dinner not really doing anything with each other as you are just eating. Rafe starts to speak “"These kisses are just temporary. We'll separate soon enough." He then kisses you on the lips and you not expecting it. And Lowkey he’s a really really good kisser but then you remember you don’t like him so you stop thinking like that.
The next time you and Rafe have to do this whole couples stuff again and this time it was your dad’s friend engagement party. You and rafe come inside the place where the party is being held not really holding hands. “Can you put on a smile? You look like you're ready to dig your own grave." You tell him "For a matter of fact, l am.” You just scoff and continue walking. The majority of people know you guys are “dating” but you will need to make it believable. You guys take your seat but about 15 minutes in you guys are sooo bored and you guys start making small talk which leads to conversations. Who knew you could relate to Rafe so much.
As the weeks went on you and Rafe surprisingly texted more. And as time went on things like unknowingly holding hands, even when you are not in front of family or friends, getting used to making two servings of everything, Sitting close to each other, and sharing glances across rooms all became habits.
Then the day of your birthday came. You got a ton gifts from everyone. Even Rafe, he got you a Tiffany necklace, jellycat, and some makeup (he had to ask Sarah for help ofc). It’s later at night and you’re at the bar with your all friends from school. Boys and girls so your “boyfriend” was there. Everyone was dancing and you were standing by the bar when Rafe came up to you. "Let's dance, yeah? It's your birthday, they'll be suspicious if we don't." He told you as he held his hand out. You nodded and took it and walked to the floor. Once you got home you texted Rafe you were home since he told you too which was also something he didn’t have to do but still did.
At some point fake smiles turn into genuine ones and both of you wanted to be there for the other one, even though you two aren't even a 'real' couple. You and Rafe walked to the beach with his hand on you back keeping you close. As you two sat down on the sand Rafe looked at you making eye contact. For the first time you looked deep into his eyes and you and him just gazed at each other with so much love in your guys eyes. "Kiss me." He whispers "What? We don't have to pretend right now." "I know, but I need one right now." You kiss for the first time that was meaningful, and genuine. The kiss meant a lot, more than it should have. Where would this put you two now?
This is where things went downhill. He started distancing himself from you because they started to think that there is definitely something wrong with him. You were getting really upset, mad, confused and a lot more feelings. You didn’t know what you did wrong. Then the day came where he finally came to your house with flowers and chocolate and his hair was so messy. Matter of fact he was messy. But he did something you didn’t see coming. He started tearing up and started confessing his love to you.
"Listen I...I love you. I don't know if it's okay to fall in love with your best friend, but I love you. And it's fine, if you don't love me back, because loving you has been the easiest thing I've ever done, and I'd never stop loving you even if you didn't love me back. And I’ve been distancing myself cause I can’t seem to figure out if I really do love you but I know I do I know it" By the time he was finished he had tears down his face and so did you.
You stare at him in awe, tilting your head "You know what? It is okay to love your best friend, because that's what I've done as well. And I would've never knew that you also love me, if you never said it. So let me say this, I love you too. And I understand you don’t know how you felt but you need to learn to talk out your feelings Rafe"
He pulls you in by your waist and slowly kisses you and the tears that run down both of your cheeks while doing so. The kiss showed love, passion, forgiveness. He pulled away putting his forehead on yours. “May you do the honors of being my real girlfriend” he says smiling. “Yes of course” you say giggling.
Tumblr media
taglist: @rafecameroncoke, @0xstarzx0, @wearemadeofstardust0, @v4mqvs, @aariahnaa, @congratsloserr
82 notes · View notes
peachhcs · 2 months ago
Text
catching you up → social media post
hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)
a few posts from samy, will, and mack after the san jose trip!
all pics are from instagram, pinterest, or tumblr. as u guys know i love doing these kinds of posts, so i decided to compile one about samy's recent trip to san jose and just some recents lately :)
au masterlist
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
samyhughes lotsss of complaints that will wasn’t in my last post, so i made sure to include him! thanks for having me in sj <3
view all comments
hannahduke my beautiful amazing roommate u look so stunning wow
| samyhughes i love youuu
user1 WOW she’s so stunning omg
user2 WANT that dress
user3 this is so adorable
edwards.73 good stuff hughesy
| samyhughes 😌😌
markestapa ooh how aesthetically pleasing
| samyhughes i really tried this time 🙌
jackhughes sooo like when u coming to nj?? been to the west coast twice now and not to the east coast 😔
| samyhughes dawg u really typed that while i’m sitting right next to u 😒
| jackhughes doesn’t make my comment any less valid tho
lhughes_06 rowdy’s got a point when u coming to nj??!?
| samyhughes when u invite me🤨
user4 i love their relationship it’s so cutie
teddystiga_ …still not enough will. he deserves more than 2 photos 💔
| samyhughes i guess nothing i do is good enough
jameshagens_4 4+4 =8
| samyhughes who taught u that??🤨
| jameshagens_4 myself
mackcelebrini where is my feature?? i spent like 93.4% of the weekend with u
| samyhughes sorry mack🥲
beckettsennecke_ soo good seeing u this weekend!
| samyhughes right back at ya beck :)
_quinnhughes west coast but no visit to van 😕
| samyhughes next time i’ll make pencil u into my schedule
user5 i wanna be her so bad omg
user6 mack and beckett’s comments are so cute aww
ryan.leno_4 justice for will he deserves more photos
| samyhughes so the whole post should just be will ig
michaelhagens_11 run it to boston soon?
| samyhughes omw!
zeevbuium28 @_willsmith2 u pulled fr
| _willsmith2 i totally did😍
kayleighdocherty_ wow so gorg samy!!!
| samyhughes by bae😍😍
gabeperreault44 glad u finally included will this time
| samyhughes glad u approve
aram_minnetian MY MAN MADE THE CUT🙌🙌
| samyhughes won’t make that mistake again
julianne_gelinas soo hot wow wanna be u
| samyhughes i wanna be u actually
drewf2 can u bring us to sj next time?
| samyhughes for sure for sure
rutgermcgroarty yuh san jose!
| samyhughes yuh!
olivianmorriss sooo pretty samy obsessed with u
| samyhughes omg i’m obsessed w u girl
user7 aww the hockey gfs in the comments r so cutie
user8 these genes popped off fr phew
danielle_minnetian HOTTTTTT
| samyhughes 😻😻😻
samanthaminnetian my name twin is so gorg
| samyhughes no ur gorg sam
graceccsmith aww love these samy!
| samyhughes miss u grace🥲
nick_moldenhauer wow good views pic 4
| samyhughes ikrrrr
_willsmith2 loveeeed getting to see u this weekend i wanna do it all over again ❤️
_willsmith2 i already miss u fuck
| samyhughes i miss u sm babe ❤️❤️ wish we could hang out forever
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
_willsmith2 sj you’ve been really good to me so far
view all comments
gabeperreault44 FIRST AGAIN
gabeperreault44 miss u buddy
gabeperreault44 holy shit pic 4?!
gabeperreault44 this is insane contract posting if it is wow
| _willsmith2 i see ur keeping up with the 4 comments in a row
| _willsmith2 what? just some things that’s been really good recently ☺️
ryan.leno_4 oh my god i don’t have words actually
ryan.leno_4 ur insane for this smitty
| _willsmith2 insane for what?
user1 they are the hottest couple and they know it too
user2 will smith posting more revealing pics of his gf each post was not on my bingo card but i am here for it
user3 he’s so real for this u know hell yeah. he’s gotta make sure everyone knows who’s girl is his😌
user4 honestly i’d take this kind of man over anything else
mackcelebrini WOO featured!!!! also ur so whipped wow
| _willsmith2 wouldn’t ever forget u mack😍
drewf2 i respect it honestly
rutgermcgroarty now THIS is the kind of contract posting i like to see
| _willsmith2 mhmm
zeevbuium28 will i stood up and applauded for u
| _willsmith2 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
jameshagen_4 no one’s commenting about ur last pic abt ur first nhl goals so i will u killed it smitty🙌
| _willsmith2 wow thanks james i appreciate it
michaelhagens_11 good shit
aram_minnetian yupppp and i’d show it off too tbh
danielle_minnetian @samyhughes u won
| julianne_gelinas deadass wow
| samyhughes ☺️☺️
eamonpowell_ congrats on the nhl goals!!!
| _willsmith2 thanks e!!
user5 i loveee seeing everyone comment about something different
user6 whooo trained him this well wow he’s the only hockey bf i know who really loves his gf
jackhughes first of all crazy set of photos second of all congrats on those nhl goals bud
| _willsmith2 thank ya j hughes
lhughes_06 everything we ever talked about went out the window
| _willsmith2 i’m sorry luke🥲
thombordeleau_ ur crazy w-2 but i appreciate the pics
| _willsmith2 always providing
eklund_72 tell me again how one can achieve this?
| _willsmith2 honestly idk just be friends with her for years
fabianzetterlund love ya w2
| _willsmith2 back at ya
tofff73 i already have no words. maybe we need to work on the media training again 🤨
| _willsmith2 apologizes ty😔
samyhughes wow i love you
samyhughes obsessed with everything about you
| _willsmith2 i’m in love with you and obsessed with every part of you too
jacob_fowler24 applauding u smitty
| _willsmith2 thank u fowler 🙏
hannahduke wow she trained u so well omg
| julianne_gelinas i've been sayinggg this how does she do it??
| samanthaminnetian deadass tho like..how did she train him this good??
| samyhughes i wish i had an answer he lowkey does this all on his own..
| hannahduke yeah u totally won then
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
mackcelebrini sj recents
view all comments
eklund_72 wow i'm honored to be featured on the 1st overall draft pick's instagram
| mackcelebrini ofc eklund
beckettsennecke_ superrr tough celly
| mackcelebrini thanks sennecke
thombordeleau_ yeahhh he bad 🔥
| mackcelebrini 🔥
user1 aww smitty is in all of these pics
user2 the fact that all of these have will in them is adorable they're so baby
fabianzetterlund good times
| mackcelebrini 100%
tofff73 great season so far celly
| mackcelebrini thanks toff means a lot coming from u
gabeperreault44 i think we should unite forces and be samy's competition for will's attention
| mackcelebrini i'm actually so glad u said that bc i 100% agree
| samyhughes HEY
ryan.leno_4 hell yeah celebrini congrats on the season so far
| mackcelebrini thanks leno
lhughes_06 lookng gooddd
| mackcelebrini 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
jackhughes threads are awesome
| mackcelebrini wow what a compliment from THE jack hughes
user3 these friendships are so adorable omg
user4 i keep saying how badly i want to be a part of their friend group
hannahduke so cool macklin celebrini the 1st overall pick of the 2024 draft!
| mackcelebrini thanks hannah duke the younger sister of dylan duke and twin to tyler duke!
| tyler___duke crazy pull
samyhughes wow ur so cool macklin!
| mackcelebrini thanks samy!
rutgermcgroarty @samyhughes u got some competition girl..
| samyhughes i see..
| mackcelebrini yeah take that i get to see will 24/7
_willsmith2 wow so honored to be featured all 3 times
_willsmith2 as much as i love the support my girlfriend is and always will be my #1 but you are a very close 2nd
| mackcelebrini damn that hurts after everything i've done for u...
106 notes · View notes
palebyulsoo · 3 months ago
Text
Rating TF2 mercenaries if they can vogue {aka "can they serve 💅❤️✨?"}
I was gonna put this in my writing blog since I do want to get back into writing but fuck it, WE BALL 👹💥💥‼️This is a stupid thought that's been poking my mind so it's not for seriousness but mostly shits and giggles 😭 I'll be rating from least to best and giving my little explanations.
{Note : This is MYYYYY opinion. I'm still slowly catching up on the TF2 comics so if there's a few things I may get wrong, that's my bad. 😭 I'm in no way a professional in vogue dancing so I'm just going off from what I know in some bits of dancing- Oh and small spoilers ig? Specifically in Snipers, Medic {it's only a photo in a panel of sorts but just making sureee} and Scouts section mayhaps.}
9. 💥Heavy💥
-I'm sorry, I really do love him but Heavy CANNOT vogue. His ass is NOT doing the death drop. 😭
-Ok I'll give him one little bonus point since the kazotsky kick kinda counts in terms of supporting form, I think he'd be able to do at least a duck walk or smth.
-But honestly? With his form in a ballroom?? Idk about that 💀 AGAIN I LOVE HEAVY BUT HE'S N O T SERVING. HE'S GONNA SHAKE THE BALLROOM.
-Unless maybe he practices on voguing moves or smth idk. 4/10
8. 🔧Engineer🔧
-Ehhh..... Not really serving.
-I don't see Engie as the type to vogue, maybe he can do some hand movements here and there {A bit janky too-} or some dances too but voguing? Death drop? Nope. 🧍
-I definitely think that robot hand he has is heavy or smth, there's noooo way the gunslinger is light at all 😭 and with how he works on machines and stuff? Yeah, idk if his form can support in voguing. 🚶‍➡️
-But like I said! Although janky, he could definitely do waacking with his hands if he practiced. And honestly? Waacking with the gunslinger would actually go hard ngl. 4.5/10
7. 🔥Pyro🔥
-Sort of...? Not really?? I don't know what to say with Pyro. :'))
-Like I can kinda see Pyro voguing but at the same time not really. It's like with Engie where I can see them definitely do waacking or maybe a few more moves.
-But you know what, I'll give Pyro a bonus point because it would be cute to see them do waacking or a vogue dance like okkkkk burn the base down with your moves 😫💅‼️
-While I can't fully picture it, I know Pyro can definitely serve and do a dip. 5/10
6. 🦘Sniper🦘
-Originally, I was gonna put Soldier in 6th but then I thought about it.... And changed their rankings 😔 {pls pLS PLS DON'T SNIPE ME AND HEAR ME OUT-}
-I adore Mick sm and he's just so sudxudjdjdj but I gotta put my bias down for a moment. I knowwww I said I'm slowly catching up with the comics but because I joined in late, I actually stumbled upon spoilers by accident 😔😔😔 {Why does this keep HAPPENING TO ME-}
-But I'm gonna let it slide and give bonus points. Why? While I know that Australians in tf2 lore are well, stronk with strength, I don't think they would focus on dance activities or anything when it comes to being stronk.
-And while Mick may not be physically active with his lanky form, I just KNOW he would definitely kill with his moves. Just teach him the catwalk or something and boom, he's serving. 5.7/10
5. 🦅Soldier🦅
-Oh he's serving alright!....By that, I mean "serving 🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅💥💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️", not "serving 💃💅💕✨".
-Listen, when it comes to Soldier, I don't think he wants to vogue and will definitely believe that voguing is for women {classic toxic masculinity-} and the only thing that will actually be close to serving in tf2 is killbinding {and ykw? in my view, the killbinding counts as a death drop if you time it correctly and can be a serve so it honestly applies to the mercenaries too-}
-BUT ☝️🗣️ I like to believe that when he's persuaded or smth, he definitely serves CUNT in CUNTRY. He pulling all the moves, the waacking is waacking, the catwalk being so FIERCE, and the dip bringing the base down!
-He'd definitely be the type to perfect his dances kinda. That's why sometimes this video just reminds me of him, "SCOUT. RUN THE ROUTE AGAIN! DAMMIT! IT'S C U N T-" 7/10
4. 💣Demoman💣
-Oh my fuck Demo would so SLAY THE BASE DOWN. He's only in 4th because of his alcoholism. 😭
-LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN HIS KAZOTSKY KICK TAUNT???????? HIM DANCING WITH BOTH LEGS AND ARMS??????? THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE HARDEST SHIT I'VE SEEEEEN BUT OMG HE DOES IT SO WELL 😫💕💕💕‼️
-Voguing, whether alcohol or not, THAT SCOTTISH MAN CAN SERVE AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME OTHERWISE. Tavish got that form and body support, aughhhh I bet he can pull even the most difficult ass vogue moves.
-Put on "here comes the hurricane legendary katrina" and I just know Tavish? WILL BE CATWALKING AND DEATH DROPPING SO HARD AUGHHJHSHDDG 8/10 {Just rereading my section for Demo really made it clear that I love him so bad actually aaahshdhxhd}
3. 💉Medic💉
-Shout out to that tiktok video of "'Medic my man' ur man is gay" that started this stupid brainrot of ranking and rating mercenaries on vogue btw. {I LITERALLY HAVE THE VIDEO SAVED BUT TUMBLR WON'T LET ME POST IT NOOOOO-}
-Have you seen Medic? Have you seen h i M?? LOOK ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND TELL ME HE CANNOT SERVE.
Tumblr media
1. Scout
-I just know Medic is pulling all the N A S T I E S T death drops oh my ggaaawwhddjdx. He would be so precise with waacking and catwalking, it's not even a joke no more. 😭
-Like even with his fit and stuff, he would still know how dance with no problems. He's serving in medical AND military field! 9/10
2. Spy
-This is my bias peaking but hear me out hEAR ME OUT PLSPPSPLSPLSPLS 😭😭☹️☹️☹️😭☹️😭☹️😭
-Spy definitely knows how to dance, especially waltz and tango, but y'know what I bELIEVE IN SPY SERVING CUNT ENERGY! THAT MAN KNOWS HOW TO BALLROOM VOGUE 😫💥💥💥💥💥💥
-Not only does he serve the floor, HE KNOWS HOW TO DRESS THE PART. Listen, Spy? In that one dress???? The black and blue/gold and white????? AHHHHHH HE WOULD SO DANCE IN THAT FIT OH MY GOD {Can you tell I'm obsessed with the idea of Spy in both suits and dresses? I'm legit a sucker for suits and dresses augh.}
-I know I keep bringing up the kazotsky kick taunts as an example for each Merc {because the kazotsky kick focuses on leg form and core strength, which is the same thing for vogue dances-} but have yOU SEEN HIS LEGS??? THEY'RE SO LONG. THAT MAN COULD EVEN STRUT HIS SHIT AND BE A MODEL‼️10/10
-'SCOUT? S C O U T?? WDYM S C O-" Shhhhh hear me out PLEASE P L E A S E, HE CAN SERVE CUNT LIKE HIS DAD I SWEAR 😭😭😭😭😭😭
-His break dance taunt? Him dancing in general?? He's GOT to be flexible as fuck and know some good moves, he got his legs and speed from SPY. S P Y. LONG ASS LEGS.
-But in all seriousness though, I like to think he got his moves from not just Spy but also his ma too. Mostly comes from a small headcanon of mine where Scout's ma knows a lil bit of go go dancing and maybe when Spy wasn't in the picture, his ma taught Scout a few moves. :3
-He got that groove from both his ma AND dad, so Scout knowing how to catwalk? Waacking? DO A DEATH DROP?? OOOOOOH HE KILLIN EM AHHHH. 10/10
{Note : oh mygodddsjx I'm finished fINALLY- anyways, like I said before- This is mostly my opinion and I made this out of shits and giggles, so it's not serious 😭 I might change it up one day though if I doooo change my mind. Anyways, thanks for reading ig 💀💀💀}
26 notes · View notes
somethinginworl · 2 years ago
Text
He would not fucking say that - Kirby franchise edition (Results)
Tumblr media
Well! Seems like a lot of people had a lot to say about mischaracterized Kirby characters, as a matter of fact, there were a whooping 57 entries! Well, let’s get going with them, shall we? Just,,, beware that this is a LOOONG post.
Haltmann
The dude 100% did fucked up shit and needs to be held accountable but people seem to so easily forget the degree he was influenced/corrupted by Star Dream. I don't understand why people hate Haltmann and love Star Dream who is arguably the actual reason HWC started colonizing and draining planets. Also the fact that Haltmann isn't conventionally attractive to the majority of the fandom makes him less sympathetic ig?? But the dude is a grieving father who made mistakes that sent him down a spiral into being corrupted and then deleted by a heartless machine. I can't help but pity him
Prince Fluff
Go on ao3. Look in his tag on tumblr. He exists only to be Kirby or Shadow Kirby's love interest most of the time, with no personality of his own.
He barely gets recognized anymore, and if he does, it's usually as a ship Prince Fluff was a big part of my childhood, with Epic Yarn being my first game. To me, he was Kirby's fellow main character, and they had a cool sibling/best friend relationship. But now, a lot of what I see of him is just . . . Kirfluff. Which is cool and all, but man's a prince! He can do more than be a boyfriend! Heck, he runs an entire kingdom by himself! One thing that I want to see more of is Fluff as a stressed but caring ruler, not just a sidekick/boyfriend to the pink puff. Give yarn boy his deserved appreciation!.
Dark Meta Knight
Hello! I am here to spread the good word of a character with no personality. It's the mirror thing. Of course.  Dark Meta Knight has No Personality. Zero. Nada. Zilch. He's Meta Knight but Dark. What does that mean? Your guess. He fights Meta Knight. And wins lmao skill issue blueboy. And fights Kirby. And loses a few times, which isn't surprising. He was dumb enough to split Kirby in four, though. Four times the Kirby is four times the amount your ass is grass. You're practically a forest at that point because you're so grass. So he's violent and has no personality outside of being violent. Woo! Triple Deluxe has him attack Dedede in Dededetour inside the Mirror. This has led people to think he fucked over Sectonia. This makes my heart bleed as much as Taranza probably did when he was punted off of Royal Road via Fuck You Lightning Ball. My man just has no sense of timing,,,, They just wanted to include a Meta Knight battle because Knight Battles are a Kirby standard at this point,,, You think a man that stupid can figure out how to take advantage of a woman's insecurity? I don't even know if he knows women exist. How many female Amazing Mirror characters are there??? Boxy??? Moley mentions having a wife once and Dameta doesn't know what he means. But other than being driven to immense violence and being scapegoated for the stuff his boss probably did, Dameta has other hobbies! Like whatever his motivation in Star Allies is. Something dastardly, I'm sure. People really like to pretend he's not part of the Star Ally club when my man is doodling with toddlers and posing with his less cool less edgy self. Would a villain have a silly little we heart kirby statue? No, didn't think so. Also I cannot imagine him as a dad to Shadkirby either. Do they even interact? I've seen both "Amazing dad" and "Outright abusive" as interpretations and I can't go with either. But I think that's because I don't enjoy Metadad that much. They're like awkward coworkers. He thinks they're student and mentor. They're not even that. Dameta barely knows Shadow exists.
Dark Meta Knight is very popularly characterized as like an abusive parent, usually physically abusive. Mainly to Shadow Kirby, of course. He's an asshole, yeah, but not THAT bad, christ. I've seen multiple fics where Shadow Kirby is some poor little hey what t the fuck hes fighting himself. um. Back to being a hater.
Shadow Kirby
Some folks still think he's shy/cowardly like from the Amazing Mirror Days. Not really true anymore. From what fans have seen from the ending of the game, he does protect the Mirror World. As for the spin off games that include him, he's pretty tough and even creates mischief sometimes.
Shadow Kirby is constantly treated as an "evil" Kirby. Especially bad after Fighters and fighters two. Not to mention "Parallel Kirby". There's also a strangely common trend of making them more sapient than pink Kirby, who tends to be infantilised to hell and back. Shadow Kirby also is often treated as a complete coward who can't do anything right, when they aren't called evil.
He's shown as completely different in several different occasions, not only in personality but in design I like shadow kirby he's purple and then he's not
Dark Taranza
Dark Taranza, gonna be honest what little characterization people give him are actually okay compared to the rest. But I'm still a hater and hang on im watching jerma clips. okay. He's like Sectonia if Sectonia was Taranza if that makes sense.
Shadow Dedede
Shadow Dedede barely gets shit but I'm going to be a little hater anyways. I don't like most characterizations. I see people make him like a dictator like bro he's literally just some guy.
Sectonia
have you seen how often people say that  sectonia and taranza were boyfriend and girlfriend in canon?????? they were never!!! shes the gosh dang final boss but shes only ever used to give taranza angst. she is her own person with a personality!!!! yes their backstories are interconnected but gosh!!!!
This not too prominent but I can't stand it when people portray her as an uwu shy girl pre-corruption. While she gave in her worst aspects, she was probably always a kind of vain, girlboss! I mean she knows how to fight with rapiers c'mon!!!
idk it just feels like lots of people just see her as Taranza's tragic dead wife and like nothing else you know? like she is more than that and I feel like what little content we have of her proves that (like the soul boss descriptions (especially the original japanese text of the 2nd phase!!) and the eternal dream song) - or maybe im reading too much into those because im hyperfixating on my blorbo whoops
Kine
I'm not sure how true this opinion is considering how little people talk about Kine, I feel this is partially the anime's fault, or maybe its because of how he just looks, but Kine is cool and is not some stupid loser fish. Before the days of Crystal Shards, Him, Kirby, Rick & Coo were the dream team at the time, always hanging out going, with various activities long before the days of Meta Knight or even Dedede. Kine is an awesome aquatic rep for the Kirby series not to mention drinking and being a pirate and Kine even has a Wife! Kine has got it! I guess this is a partial compliant of Ship of Theseus which can be applied with Rick & Coo too, but I feel Kine gets the most hate if any because of people who are unfamiliar just see a dopey fish and are unaware of his origins and his past with Kirby. I'm not upset with the current representation of the Kirby cast (I love the RTDL team being the main crew) but I do hope the animal buddies get some more love, Especially Kine.
Dedede
reduced to his significantly less in-depth and compelling characterization from the anime
Anime Dedede.
Magolor
one time i read a series of fanfictions where he called every female character in the story a bitch and was portrayed as the good guy in the story
Tumblr media
Is it possible to both be flanderized and woobified at the same time? There is a lot of "removing his responsibility for his actions" but can we get better jokes than "hehe Microtransgolor hehe scammer egg”
Always an uwu soft boy. Like no that is a criminal not a catboy.
Bro would never be intimidated by Magolor
Marx
People either portray him as a edgy sociopath or constantly bored and annoyed. Portraying him as an adult or a teen kinda annoys me as well. I'm very picky about portrayals of Marx so don't get upset if you portray him as one of these I've listed.
Sometimes I see people only joking about the "hungry so he came along" thing with Marx and it's pretty overdone
They took one look at him and said “to the insane asylum bitch”. I don’t think he’s some crazy murder hobo rather a dude with questionable morals and puts his own mischief and fun before others it seems. Though Marx is indeed one of the least “character” characters when I mean he doesn’t have much depth in comparison to other characters. But you could do anything else than have him follow the Jevil path of him being crazy. Make him evil? Sure. Make him a cringefail idiot? Sure. Make him a crybaby bitch? Go ahead. But making him the definition of what a 14 year old white girl in New Jersey that probably is addicted to Instagram and thinks Webtoon comics are the highest level of art and storytelling’s definition of insane doesn’t cut it cuz. Slapping the spaz label without a thought of what’s being done on a character who fits the mark makes the Schizoid peeved who coulda known. As this is all coming from the one person who has likely ruined Marx’s character the most for Kirblur by making him a somewhat empathetic manchild who clings to both pipe dreams of normality and being a monster btw. (Also this doesn’t mean jokes, you can joke about him being a psycho like Jerma it’s when it’s taken 100% seriously is when it’s bad).    Also to add on, Woobification of Marx or any Kirby character period CAN be annoying if taken too far. I take full responsibility in the fact my variant is also woobifed to an extent but that train full of ticking bombs doesn’t bother me as much. Make him sadcry and be gay he deserves both those things. Send him to sad hell with the rest of them.
To the anon above... What?
Making him stupid or reducing him to just Silly Clown. Or just having him act in purely impulsive or spontaneous ways (which sometimes happens when juxtaposed with a more "collected" character like Magolor).
Daroach
this is something i’ve noticed specifically in chatfics, but when daroach is in the ensemble some of them tend to designate him as the Goofy Meme Dumbass for… idk, fandom quota? i really don’t know why it happens because he has a bunch of canon dialogue (and alternate continuity stuff like the novels) that show him to be cool and clever. i’m not saying he can’t have a sense of humor or anything (he’s definitely the type to have a bunch of quips), but it sucks when he’s mischaracterized because the fandom doesn’t give him that much attention as is. if you NEED a silly haha guy, marx is right there!”
Morpho Knight
"Morpho Knight is a creature of mercy. It's a benevolent entity putting tired souls to rest." NO?! I'm going to copy-paste some stuff I put in a post of my own. A while back, SYZekrom on Reddit translated Morpho Knight's entry, and it contains some... interesting information. Allow me to provide some excerpts. "He’s a red knight with butterfly wings, continuing from a pair of white wings like an angel’s, and a pair of azure wings with a bit of an evil feel." This is the first of two instances where Morpho Knight is outright stated to be evil. There's also stuff in the art book that supports my theory that Galacta and Morpho are permanently fused and the former is not dead, but I don't want to get carried away. These are its gacha figure descriptions in Forgotten Land: "The fluttering fiend that casts judgment upon final battles is drawn toward the isolated isles of Forgo Dreams. There, it feasts on the most powerful soul it finds and takes the fearsome form of a scarlet-clad knight… Let the most challenging battle of this new world begin!" –English "One of the dreaming birds, which are said to pass judgement upon decisive battles, drifts towards a forgotten, isolated isle as if summoned. There, it sips upon the strongest Soul and descends as a red knight. Finally, welcome the dusk… of the deadliest battle in this New World!"  –Japanese While at first glance there doesn't seem to be any information of note, the "fluttering fiend" bit in the English version is outright stating Morpho Knight is evil, and the phrase "he deadliest battle in this New World" doesn't sound particularly heroic. But I digress... Morpho is NOT a good person! This is clearly leading up to a villain vs hero confrontation! Which, may I add, implies that reaping Galacta Knight wasn't necessarily a good thing for it to do?!
Elfilis
elfilis is NOT entirely malicious. they would gladly accept hugs and kisses. being in a fucking capsule ALONE and AWARE for likely CENTURIES will DO SOMETHING TO YOU YOU KNOW?? god fucking DAMN dude... and after the ending of the true arena in the game, WILLINGLY GAVE THEMSELF UP TO ELFILIN. also they're not fucking DEAD you PSYCHOPAYHS elfilis is STILL VERY MUCH ALIVE!!!!!!! RUUAAAGGGH!!!!!!!!!!
Susie
Being Evil or being a Sad uwu girl who has had bad things happen to her seems to be the only way most people can portray this character.
Susie isn't a friend. She's selfish and wanted to take over the company. Her "redemption" is pointing Kirby at the world-ending machine, gives him armor, and then stands around. She doesn't even know his name. The closest she does for good is tell Kirby to do something he would've done on his own.
My girl really became the subject of hate thanks to a mistranslation. I mean yeah she likes robots and shit but the fact that people think she is a terrible person and that she's still colonizing planets makes me upset. i blame the translation team for everything.
When people say she has fully redeemed herself and is reduced to cishet, pretty girl??? Like no, star allies mistranslation my ass you fell for her corporate propaganda. The female characters in this franchise, while lovable, is not nearly as popular as a lot of the male ones. HAL literally gave us a morally grey girlboss who we can still sympathise with. She actually feels like a very real character in this fictional world.
You Know How People Are About Her
she's not even my blorbo!!!!!! everyone thinks she's a huge evil bitch who has done terrible genuinely unspeakable things. i read a fic that went on and on abt the horrible things she "did" to meta knight when he was mechanized (things so bad i cant even say) and i was pulling my hair out she did not fucking do any of that!!!! yes the universe can have pretty dark moments but good lord people only use her to woobify meta knight and give fuel to ship him with others and it pisses me off lol. or people go too far the other way and woobify HER to ship with him and aughhhh no one has a shred of media literacy. she's not purely good or purely evil she's such a complex character who did bad things because she was in a bad situation and the best example of a morally grey character who's on no one's side but herself and that will always be more interesting that 100% good or 100% evil. once again she's not even my blorbo but i've never seen a character butchered this badly by a fandom
Because of mistranslation (from what I've heard) Susie's whole mechanizing planets has been the number one thing when it came to susie hate and the only reason as to why people hate this girl so much. Honestly Susie's character has been fucked up immensely and no one has such a divided spread of opinions like she does. Some people brush away her backstory and make her a soulless being with no love whatsoever.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Susie Haltmann. I cannot with the fandom interpretations anymore. It's ridiculous how bad they've gotten. Susie is a two dimensional character. I absolutely despise seeing people portray her as some sort of greedy capitalist bastard and "the one with the braincell". In canon, she's consistently been portrayed as a sweet person (with a knack for violence, but EVERYONE in this series is like that). Everything bad she did in Planet Robobot was FOR WORK and the will of HER FATHER, and even if she did want to do the things she did, she's clearly not doing them any more. The "mechanizing planets and peoples" line in Star Allies is a mistranslation. And the "punishing savages" doesn't have to mean anything bad. It could mean she's punishing evildoers with her money and resources. In fact, I've seen some translations put it like that And Meta Knight... is just the straw that broke the camel's back. Oh lord. Why does everyone insist that he hates her? There's the little scene in Star Allies... but god, that isn't canon, it's clearly a joke. If anything, Susie might have been trying to talk to him and he was just trying to avoid her in a misinterpretation of the situation. It's supposed to be funny. Why are you imposing this onto people like this automatically makes Susie a devil incarnate and anything involving those two characters in problematic? Just shut up.
Meta Knight
Everyone thinks he’s just the ‘edgy character’ or ‘the uncaring mentor figure’ while in actuality he really does care for Kirby (and Bandana Dee) more than anyone gives him credit for!
Everyone either makes him all broody and lonesome, like shadow the hedgehog or batman; or they make him a goofy dad, like Dedede or Hugh Neutron. In reality, he's a weird uncle with unknown motivations, simultaneously selfish and practical. Also, he doesn't hide the fact that he likes sweets, he eats them away from everyone so no one steals them (Dedede and Squeak Squad).
He's not Kirby's fucking dad! He's an irresponsible uncle that hands out swords! And he is definitely in love with dedede, he is the only other dramatic bitch willing to build a skyscraper to beat up kirby (I am using intense anger for comedic effect) 
HES A FUCKING TWINK ASS FRUITY ASS MOTHERFUCKING CRINGEFAIL MAN. HE NEEDS TO HAVE HIS PERSONALITY INTERPRETED AS BOTH THE MANGA AND THE GAMES. YES HE IS MYSTERIOUS BUT HE ALSO WOULD TRIP AND FALL OVER HIMSELF. I NEED STAR ALLIES KICKING SWORD PISSED. I NEED MANGA ROSES BITCHASS META. I NEED THAT PARTICULAR VERSION OF MY BOY meat knight RIGHT NOW. meta knight is cringefail. half of the fandom agrees the other half does not. im explode.
He wants to look cool so bad but he is actually a huge fucking goofy goober. Any representation of Meta Knight being a badass is propaganda made by Meta Knight himself to convince you he’s cool. I mean have you seen his RTDL Deluxe pause screen description? King Dedede’s and Bandana Dee’s are in first person, but his is in third person? He’s literally talking about himself in the third person like hello????? Meta Knight is such a fucking lame goofy little man who thinks he’s the most badass motherfucker on the planet.
To fair this has been less common lately but back during 2014-2016 MK was usually portrayed in fanart/fanfic as either this wise veteran or cold edgelord. He is just an unhindged!!! Silly!!! Guy!!! He can be cool and cringefail!!! But he is also compassionate in his own aloof, awkward way!!! 
i am not a big fan of the metadede ship. i think people are shipping for the sake of having a ship and nothing else. As someone with a severely underrepresented orientation (aromantic and asexual), when I see a character I like, I will project onto said character. This is the case with my interpretation of Meta Knight. I saw a cool character that I liked who a) doesn’t have any canon love interests and b) didn’t really need a whole ton of friends/significant others to be happy with life. Meta Knight always seemed to be perfectly content with the friends he has on Popstar and his crew and everyone in the anime, so I looked to him for hope that I could live the same way. I was open to the metadede ship at first, but as time passed, I felt less and less comfortable with it. It seemed to me that people were so hungry for gay ships that they just pulled this one out of thin air courtesy of Kirby Fighters 2, which is to my knowledge the only piece of media that somewhat supports this. Why can’t people just be happy with MK and Dedede being friends or frenemies? I’m probably starting drama with this bc I know how popular metadede is on Tumblr so I apologize for upsetting you if that is the case.  But I also feel that I shouldn’t apologize just because I have a different opinion.
I dislike how "pathetic" the fandom has made him out to be. I don't like it when he's portrayed as overpowered but... "pathetic, whiny manlet" could not be further from the truth. How did we get to that?
Kirby
Often people make Kirby more dependent on others than he actually is. He's an extremely independent person that literally cannot be stopped by anyone who tries to get in his way
ik its been covered to death but matpat made that video about how kirby is evil and completely ignored the themes of friendship and kindness that are present throughout the entire series
dude hes not a baby. he drinks in the manga adukt kirbies are a fine interp god. and hes not a godkiller or some shit he just fights for his friends hes not some terrifying monster kirby is literally just some friendly guy. strong yeah but just some guy. he fights strong entities incidentally lol
The anime portrays them as a literal infant, and due to its overprevalence (despite not being in the same stream of canon as the games), this is often their characterization in the fandom.  Canonically, they indeed are a child (at most, they'd probably be a teen in the modern games), but they are old enough to talk, and they demonstrate a high amount of emotional and even technical intelligence.
Admittedly, this is one that usually only happens to people outside the fandom, but it bugs me when people portray Kirby as a sort of immoral monster who only does good things on accident. When it’s quite the opposite! He may not be incredibly bright, but he does his best to help people. Oddly enough, there’s not many cases of “he would not say that” in the fandom for me because of how loose Kirby’s story is. It is lore heavy but the actual characters aren’t super concrete save for a few and I think that’s perfectly fine
People forget that their air bullet!! is an attack!! its literally one of their only ways of dealing damage in DL1!!! I’m looking at you Smash Bros!!! Why isn’t it their nair?????????
making them a toddler who cant speak for themself
I swear everyone outside of the fandom sees Kirby as either a braincell infant or  a merciless force of mass destruction
Taranza
WHAT DIDN'T THEY DO!?!?!? Taranza, as we see him in Triple Deluxe, is such a fun villain. He's dramatic, arrogant, a total suck-up to Sectonia, and it's so. Fucking. Good. He's a devious bastard, he monologues!!! His animations in the Clash games are so fucking campy and dramatic it's chefs kiss!!!! Fanon Taranza is as plain as white bread. Sometimes as pale as it, looking at some of the gijinkas. No shade though! As little shade as there is melanin in him lmAO- He is flanderised to hell and back. There are so. Many. Fucking. Taranzas who happen to be nothing but sad and weepy about his evil dead wife. Where's the bite!!! The pizzazz!!! Even in canon, when he is a bit of a wet sack later on, he still hunts for an altar he can bring her back on. My boy's a wannabe necromancer!!! Write that shit in your lost lenore Sectonia fic you fucking cowards Queen's Phantom ain't just for show. The above is also evidence for woobification! The fucker is obviously sad his crush is dead! But can we pleeease focus on anything else. This is definitely not targeted at Hal Labs. Imagine being woobied so hard your creators backtrack your personality I would just die. "Ehehe he's the responsible mage!!" No the fuck he isn't he can't be trusted with anything he tries take control it WILL blow up in his face. He knows magic he's good at magic but is he responsible??? Fuck no my man's strongest attack is "Blow myself the fuck up via a giant burst of magic" and it shreds. Even worse is the "Taranza got mind-controlled by Sectonia" theory in tandem with this. That wasn't confirmed right. Right. God I hope not that would be embarrassing. He can't even have a moment to realise his devotion has gone too far and she doesn't love him or even care for him, and he has to finally make that decision to free himself from her like ain't that cool!!! And then making him all sad over her afterwards it's just a Little Fucked if you're tryna put it all together eh. Eh. And he's not suuuper objectified (That usually goes to Seccy rest in piss girlie) but the way he's treated in some ships is. Eugh. Fucking Magoranza amirite he's basically there to look responsible and cute (I've already explained my issue with this) and to fix the tortured soul who is Magolor (I do not like Magolor. Nor Magoranza.) Tbh Sectaranza does the same he's there to be tragic because his girlie's dead. When you give him less personality than the dead cardboard cutout you know you fucked up. Anyways these ramblings are here to remind you what Hal Labs stole from us: Taranza but not a TOTAL saddo. Theatre kid Taranza. Arrogant prick. He's even British.
For the anon above me, I just wanted to say that this entry is probably my favorite and lives rent free in my mind.
I'm definitely guilty of it and it's all we have to go off of but PLEASE he needs more than to be Sad. Give him hobbies and interests that aren't just gardening, at least. Make stuff up about him, please!
So, SO many people make him an absolute crybaby over Sectonia. Even though, yes, he has grief problems, it's not his whole freaking personality. Pretty sure they're forgetting the fact that he LITERALLY HELPED KILL HER.
Taranza is not just a little pathetic guy!! He’s a bitch— a little schemer if you will !!! He’s smug—he’s formal—he’s a little fucker!!! Taranza needs a new partner and that partner is me
Oddly enough I do think people make him out to be a bit too much of a goody two shoes. Like he has done some mean things in the past and it wasn’t all Sectonia’s fault, he literally *stole* the Dimensional Mirror after all. Don’t get me wrong I think he’s a good person in the end, but cmon. He has committed crimes
Taranza in some corners of the fandom has kinda been turned into this forever crying baby who can never recover from losing Joronia and like, I never see people who do that write about the recovery and being able to move on to the final stage of grief.
HE IS NOT A SIMP, MY GOD
Everyone needs to stop reducing him to pathetic simp. He is allowed to grieve but he's probably one of the more mature characters within the series???
People disregard everything else about his character to make his tragic relationship with sectonia his only character trait. Not sure if this quite counts as woobifying since he does canonically still mourn her (and obviously seeing a close friend/crush go down the path of self destruction and ultimately die from it WOULD NOT be something you'd get over quickly). But I'm so tired of taranza in fanart and the like being an uwu softboy with Crying as his main character trait. Like he's canonically more than that! He goes full cocky villain mode when you confront him near the end of triple deluxe and he can pack a punch in star allies with his magic! If you're going to write about him prove that you don't just know about the guy from twitter artwork!
And here’s a graph!
Tumblr media
Anyways, thanks everyone for your submissions! What I’ve learned here is important: We’re all fucking delusional.
358 notes · View notes
lucyandthepen · 1 year ago
Text
last eden - i . | lmh
Tumblr media
part i, ii, iii
only one thing has ever mattered to you, in this lifetime, and in all others : mark lee — even if he doesn't know yet, and even if he may never remember.
pairing: mark x reader verse: canon/idol!verse, soulmates trope rating: T warnings: none, possibly some mild language, like... one very tame mention of making love ig word count: 4.3k
A/N: yeah i have a lot of these fics that i'm repurposing that i desperately want to post so i can continue them so please look the other way at my random over enthusiasm i beg !! my only long-standing mark fic is actually gorgeous, and while we do love a good raunchy piece, i love mark way too much to keep it to just that. this was my first ever fic on my old blog, and i'm quite attached to the idea despite the fact that it's actually very difficult for me to write. i changed the name because i actually love this song by maktub (anything he puts out is gold to me), which i think generally fits the vibe of the story, so give it a listen if you're interested! so i hope you all enjoy this idol!verse soulmates fic! (help a gal out by reblogging, liking, and leaving a few kind words if you're so inclined!)
Tumblr media
“This isn’t really your best idea.” 
You know this. You’re fully aware of the possible and endless risks as well as the minimal benefits. But you have to go. The thing that Heehyeon, your roommate, doesn’t fully understand is that this could be your one and only shot, and it could mean life or death. And you know that sounds pretty dramatic, but it really is. you don’t really have all the details (when, where, how, the important stuff) but that doesn’t matter to you right now. 
What really matters is that today is NCT’s comeback stage at M! Countdown, and you have to be there. 
Unfortunately, this isn’t one of those things you have to go to because your a die-hard fan and you just have to support the group and do all those fan chants and lie to your mom about going to the library when you’re really staying over outside a company building for hours just to wave those silly, expensive light sticks that look like they came out of the factory a bit funny. Sure, NCT’s music was nice (enough), but that isn’t really the reason why you told your mom not to come over this weekend because you would be out on a company team building retreat (as if they actually do that). More than anything, you knew you had to take this chance to see him. 
When you don’t respond, Heehyeon presses on with a firmer tone, as if she’s determined to convince you even though you both know nothing is really going to stop you at this point.
“Listen to me, _____________. You are going to a tightly-packed music show with at least a hundred other fans, and you are going to stand in the middle of that dense crowd and — and what? Stare up at him. That’s it. He’s not going to see you; that stage is so high up he’ll probably only catch a look at your forehead, and that’s if you make it up front. And since we both know you’re neither the tallest nor the luckiest person in the world, you know the odds are against you. You’re probably going to get pushed to the back, or stampeded, and it’s going to be messy, and you’re going to push, and they’re going to push you back, and your make-up is going to fall apart, or whatever. Is this really worth it?”
“I told you,” you try to sound patient, but the idea of being buffeted away from the stage by a large wave of sweaty bodies causes more discomfort than you had originally anticipated thanks to her colorful and supremely unhelpful description. “If being near the stage doesn’t work out, I’ll wait out back, near the exit, and —“
“Oh yeah, and ambush him. Because you’ll be the only one there, and because that’s totally safe.” She drops the slightly (well, pretty) judgmental tone when she sees your bottom lip quiver. “I’m not… I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to reach out to him. But this doesn’t sound like the best way, _____________. Security is so tight there, and NCT’s security is even more wary. Even if you do manage to get close, what in the world are you going to say?” 
“I— I’ll figure it out once I’m there.” You purse your lips; surely I love you; we’re meant to be together wouldn’t be that hard on your end, but the more important question is: did it sound sane? You didn’t express this doubt, though. Doing so would give your roommate more ammunition to turn back at you; you’d play it by ear when you actually got around to making eye contact with him (if that ever happened at all). And — well, maybe you wouldn’t have to say anything. Maybe, just maybe, this time, he’d remember you.
At that thought, you feel an initial wave of laughter, closely followed by a second, much more painful wave of nausea. Of all the absurd things you could think of, that was probably the most ridiculous. 
“This isn’t a good idea,” she recapitulates, shaking her head. “You know what they do to people who stalk idols and say they’re really going to get married to them, or whatever. You know what they’d call you.”
“But I’m not crazy like that,” you argue.
“I know that, but they don’t know anything about you! You’d be labeled a sasaeng. They’ll probably think you’re one of those girls that sneak into their dorms and sniff their underwear before selling them on the dark side of Taobao through a weird Chinese proxy or something.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do?” You ball your fists at your side, feeling a little betrayed. Heehyeon, of all people, should be able to understand why you had to do this, even if it was ludicrous. She had remembered you, reached out to you before you could even place her. She’d heard your story, understood that you had been waiting years for this moment, even stopped you on other occasions when you were about to do the same thing you were planning now, saying it wasn’t the right time. “I don’t have any other way of contacting him. I don’t even know if this is going to work, but you know I have to try, and I feel like this is the right time. I have to see him. I have to — I have to be with him. I don’t need your blessing to go, you know.”
There’s a palpable tension hanging over you now, and Heehyeon’s expression has gone mostly unreadable, save for that twinge of worry still present in her gaze. The soft sound of regular, heavy exhales punctuate every few seconds that pass, and you realize a little later that it’s your breathing, which has turned a bit heavy from the energy spent sort-of yelling at your roommate. 
“I know that,” she finally sighs. “I know that, _____________. I just wish you used a different way. Like, a safer, less crazy one.”
“I would use one if there were one.” You frown. “I’m not going to do anything stupid, like attack him. I would never do that.”
She doesn’t say much anymore, opting to watch you instead as you stuff a few more essential things in your bag. A hat. A fan. a bottle of water. Heehyeon had tried to coerce you to buy one of those cheering kits with those slogans, but you didn’t want to waste your money on it, and, truthfully, you didn’t want his name hanging on your walls like some sick reminder in case he rejected you.
“What did you tell your manager?” She asks in a clear attempt to lighten the mood. 
“I told her I was sick. You know she never really asks as long as I find someone to substitute for me,” you sling your bag over your shoulder, standing straighter. “How do I look?” 
“Pretty damn healthy,” she notes. “But also kind of crazy.” 
“I’ll see you tonight, Heehyeon,” you roll your eyes as you make your way out of the room. Before you close the door, she makes one last quick remark.
“Not if I see you on the evening news first!”
Tumblr media
You have to take two buses to get to Sangamsan-ro. Even though the traffic is generally mild, the buses make too many stops and wait too long for old ladies with their fruit baskets and newspapers to get on. The wait is making you anxious, and you think about getting an orange to abate your growing hunger, but you’re also so nervous that you’re sure you’re going to spew it all out onto the bus floor anyway. So, you content yourself with listening to music and fiddling with your fingers in your lap. 
All you have in your phone is NCT’s music. The files were so large that you’d had to delete everything else you used to listen to and a handful of pictures too (mostly selfies that would have never seen the light of day, anyway) just to get them to fit. You used to only listen to the Korean versions, but you’d found all these little nuances in how Mark raps his lines depending on the language, so you’d started listening to the English and Japanese releases too, even though you can’t understand a lick of anything but ‘baby.’ Most of the time, you skip over to the relevant (see: Mark-filled) parts, already having memorized their timestamps to a kind of sick degree. 
It was kind of dumb, and sort of selfish, but you had never really identified yourself as an NCT fan anyway. If you had been an active part of the groups following, people would have probably called you an akgae. You were really only concerned with one member, and it was that member’s voice that filled your ears when you’d plugged your earbuds in and put the volume up.
The first time you’d seen him was in your last year of college. One of your college friends had asked you to accompany them to a Nature Republic outlet downtown. Despite your general lack of interest in make-up at that point in time, you’d gone because she’d promised to buy you a corndog. What you’d gotten instead was a large standee of a handsome guy smiling at you and holding out a pot of aloe vera gel. 
You knew his eyes. Even though his features changed a million times in your memory, you could never mistake his eyes for anyone else’s — soft, warm, brown eyes that you’d stared into for truly an eternity. His were eyes you could never forget, were never allowed to forget. You could remember the millions of times they’d smiled up at you in those past lives you were haunted with, twinkled with mischief and laughter in your presence, borne deep into yours on hot summer nights as you made love. Of all the uncertain things in all of the lives you remembered living, these eyes acted as your anchor. 
You’d almost forgotten you were there with a friend until she’d called out to you, telling you to step inside the shop. Trying to sound disinterested despite the fact that your heart was pounding, you asked who the guy in the standee was. Mark, she’d called him. Mark of NCT. He was an idol, a rapper in one of those up and coming groups that was starting to gain a lot of attention within the general public because of their ‘cool, chic concepts.’ At that information, your heart had fallen into a pool of acid in your stomach. 
Other times were hard, but not this hard. Most of the factors that had kept you or torn you apart were much larger in scale — war, famine, other natural disasters. This, out of all the other times, seemed to be the most difficult; he wasn’t an ordinary man anymore, but a god among men — a god you couldn’t be allowed to approach. You had ditched your friend the moment she’d gotten her change back at the counter, citing a sudden time of the month as the root cause, and dashed out and back to school, sparing only one last glance at the standee. 
You’d been waiting for him for years, carefully looking for any sign of him in the people around you, but you had grown tired and had come to believe that maybe, in this life, you had been set free — that he didn’t exist, and the curse would be over. However, as you pored over each and every teaser, music video, advertisement, and blurry, noise-heavy radio interview you could find even a sliver of his face in, you realized that the curse had come back, and in a much larger force than you could ever imagine. 
You’d stared at your desk for the longest time that day; the sun had dipped out of sight already when you’d sighed yourself out of your trance. It had never been this difficult. Having the Memory was mostly the worst thing ever, but its usual perk was that you could pick him out a little easier, and he was never too far away — nobody you ever knew in your first life ever was. They just kept coming up again and again, running around in little circles throughout time and space, and you recognized them in a way you’ve come to grow familiar with. It’s a tug, sort of like a tickle in your stomach, and you knew then that he was close by. The signal only stopped when you found him, and it usually wasn’t that hard. From there, you were responsible for weaving the same kind of story — one in which you would fall in love, be happy for a period of time, and then… well. 
Heehyeon has the Memory, too. She’d remembered you from a previous life, too, and picked you out of a packed line at a coffee shop, striking up one of the most awkward conversations you’d ever had the displeasure of being a part of because she hadn’t been sure if you remembered her. It was only when she mentioned that you seemed like someone she could be good friends with and that you also seemed like you just happened to like your coffee black with two sugars did you realize that her sudden onslaught of friendliness was a sign she might be like you: unable to forget. She’d actually once asked you if you’d tried just letting him go, and you’d responded with a resolute no. At this point, it was too hard to call him a lost cause, even if he really seemed it. How could you stop loving someone you know you’ve loved for millennia? 
He’s extremely handsome in this life, you’ve noted. Girls were falling all over him, which only made things ten times harder. A couple of years back, some rumors of him dating a labelmate had come up. Heehyeon had talked you through that long night of you clutching tissues in a fist and sobbing about how you didn’t want this anymore, how it was never fair, how every single time you had to find him was just growing more and more difficult until it seemed to reach an impossible arc. But, mostly, you’d cried because you hated the possibility — probably the confirmation — that he didn’t remember you at all. 
You didn’t really expect him to, but you always hoped. Every life, you would approach him, and he would be a clean slate. It was a tiring process, one you wished you weren’t constantly responsible for. Some days, you resented him; how could he live his life carefree, without even the notion that you two were meant to be together? Most days, though, you just longed for him. Him, and a happy ending. 
You let out a sigh as the track changes. His voice greets you again; over time, you’ve noticed it sounding even cooler, more impactful. He’s doing well for himself. And here you are, attempting to make yourself stand out in a pool of fans he probably can’t even see clearly. Nice.
You get to listen to about half of the newly released album before you realize you’re nearing your stop. Sidestepping a couple of baskets of oranges, you make it to the door and dash out. Heehyeon had drawn you a crude map to CJ E&M, and you’d been skeptical of it at first, but you realize now you would have gotten lost and missed the stage long before you got there if you had gone in blind. You’d make sure to thank her when you got back. If you did actually come back in one piece. 
Heehyeon also hadn’t been joking; the line outside looks like it would fill a whole section of Jamsil. You’d heard of the dedication of some of these fans, but you’d never seen it like this, nor had you ever actually been a part of it. Kids were really up at three in the morning in support of NCT. Many of them are probably here specifically in support of Mark, you think. Sure enough, the people you line up behind are holding holographic slogans with the print “Mark-yah!” You swallow hard, trying not to regret your decision not to partake in that. 
It feels like hours before you get even close to the door of the building. The chatter has died down a little, but not by much; even with less people ahead of you, the noise pollution increases in tandem with the excitement in the atmosphere. You’re not excited, though. You’re sick to your stomach, wishing you hadn’t come alone and wondering if you were going to regret this. Probably. Luckily, a couple of teenagers behind you strike up a casual conversation starting with “ah, it’s getting more humid now,” and you take turns complaining about what the weather would probably be like later on in the day before you start talking about NCT. They’re both Jaehyun fans, and you think about whether or not you remember meeting him in a past life. Nothing really rings a bell.
When you tell them you’re here for Mark, they giggle. 
“We know,” they chime. “You’re wearing blue.” 
“It’s his favorite color,” you say, a little defensively. 
“Everyone knows that. Everyone here wearing that ocean blue is a Mark fan. Didn’t he say so once?” They dissolve into laughter again, but you say nothing. Maybe he had said that recently. Then again, his favorite color has always been blue — the color of the sky and the sea he seems to love so much. 
The line grows shorter and shorter, and your ankles feel like they’re starting to swell. You’ve been standing for a good two hours now, and you regret not having bought one of those NCT membership cards that get you up to the front of the line. It’s really no surprise that you, the two Jaehyun fans, and the others in the line behind you are all squished in the back, just like Heehyeon had said you would be. It takes a good twenty minutes before the lights dim down and the stage lights start up, and you hear the buzz that increases in volume right before it becomes a collective deafening shriek from the crowd. The light sticks go up, and you’re momentarily blinded by the large stars that blink NCT in some weird logo form before you get your bearings again. By that time, the members have begun trooping onto the stage in a single file, and you forget your swollen ankles as you tiptoe and crane your head for a better view. 
He’s there, your mind screams. He’s right there. You’ve got a whole crowd in front of you, but he’s right there. 
The Jaehyun fans are losing their mind too; he’s talking, asking them how they found the album and encouraging them to keep supporting it. Typical idol stuff, you assume, but the fans go wild in an attempt to reassure him that they will. They all speak in a line, and you note Mark will be last. When the mic is handed over to him, the fans start screaming again. You feel like you want to yell as well, except you’re not sure if you’ll say something actually coherent that other people will hear. Instead, you tiptoe a little higher, fixing your pretty bad eyesight on his face and perking your ears up. 
“You’re all here so early,” he starts. “How long have you been waiting for us?” 
A flurry of numbers fly across the room. He smiles in this genuinely affectionate way even though his eyes can’t focus on a single person in the dark, and your heart stutters at the sight.
“Do your mothers know you’re here?” He’s teasing now. “You can’t tell them that NCT is the reason you’re not sleeping well, you know. Everyone, make sure that you eat breakfast and rest well before school today, okay?” 
While the crowd screams in response, you let out a little whimper. It’s a weak, pathetic sound, but it essentially sums up how you feel, seeing him like this from so far away. 
The pre-recording starts, but you barely catch anything. You’re too small for this kind of life, and you get so tired of tiptoeing that you actually do try to push your way through the crowd. Of course, this is fruitless, and you end up squatting by the back wall of the room, sipping on your water conservatively and listening to the Jaehyun fans do the chant religiously. 
NCT performs the song two more times before they’re saying their goodbyes. You muster up the energy to stand again and make a beeline for the exit before everyone else can smash their way through. The sun is almost up now; beads of sweat form on the nape of your neck as you round the building, trying to find the indicated spot that Heehyeon had marked as the back exit of CJ E&M. You worry about how you’re in the wrong place for about ten minutes until you see the two Jaehyun fans turning the corner quickly, obviously with the same goal as you: to catch NCT as they leave the building. 
In no time, the fans have gathered at the spot again, and it seems like they’ve multiplied tenfold; the chants are louder and there are girls with gigantic cameras trying to shove you away from the spot. Security from the company camps out in front of you, their gazes shifting from the door to the crowd and back again. 
People around you roar the moment the doorknob turns. Nine of them file out, now in regular clothing, surrounded by their own security. You feel a surge of force behind you, trying to push forward, and someone’s camera lens hits you hard in the side of the face. You barely have time to cry out in surprise, caught in what would have been a scream of pain, when you see him. 
In the growing light, Mark looks like a king. No — like a god, actually. Everything on his face shines even when minimal sunlight strikes it; his teeth help, too, brightening his face as his mouth hangs open in an easy laugh. He’s talking to Doyoung and has to face him, his sharp jawline being the first thing anyone can see from that perspective, and it’s that angle that creates all these alarms in your head. 
For some reason, you’ve blocked out the noise around you. Even the pain from the camera lens attack isn’t bothering you as much anymore; you feel like you’re in an aquarium, and all the screams are on the other side of the glass. Your vision tunnels; all you can see is him. 
You’d promised Heehyeon you wouldn’t do anything stupid. Again and again, she’d asked you and drilled you and reminded you that you weren’t supposed to do anything that would get you into trouble. Even with those promises you’d made, she’d still doubted you. Later, when you’d tell her this story, she’d roll her eyes and yell I told you so!, because, well, she did tell you. And, when you’d look at it in retrospect, you’d see that you should have listened. 
Right now, though, you’re walking. Somehow, the camera lens that had attacked you had turned its gaze onto much more important targets; the guard stationed in front of you grunted in pain and reflexively retracted his hand after the lens made contact with it. It wasn’t a long movement, but it was enough for you to be pushed forward by the crowd. Enough to get your feet moving. 
Other fans had stopped trying to break through; though many were still hysterical, most were trying to take pictures of the members as they climbed into the van. One by one, they were disappearing before your eyes. No, you thought to yourself. Your chest tightened. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you think that the noise behind you has gotten much louder. Not now. He hasn’t seen me yet. Not yet, please. 
You don’t realize that your feet have picked up the pace, and you’ve broken into a short sprint before the building security could catch you. It’s too late; he can’t leave his post, and he only has to hope that NCT’s staff are well-equipped to fend off a running girl. They are, but they’re too busy helping the members that they’re caught unaware — just long enough for you to be within an arm’s reach of them. 
Mark is almost in the van; he’s caught off-guard, too, and he doesn’t realize that something’s not right until you’re already there. Security grabs his arm and tries to tug him out of your reach and into the van at the same time that a strong hand grapples at the back of your shirt. Doyoung, who had been by Mark’s side, tries to use his arms to shield you from his friend when he realizes who you are targeting, yelling out something you can’t really understand. 
It’s a ten-second long struggle of limbs in which you hear your own “Let go of me!” harmonize perfectly with Mark’s frantic “What the —?” Somehow, though, you’re able to fight through Doyoung’s arms and grip Mark’s wrist with a sweaty palm. The contact causes him to turn back reflexively, eyes wide in shock. 
His eyes. God, please, won’t he recognize me? Your fingers close around his wrist a little more tightly. Your mouth is dry, and your throat is on fire. You’re wasting precious time. You only manage out a weak, “Please, Mark, it’s me,” before he’s twisting his wrist away. The arm that gripped your shirt moves to lock around your waist, and you’re hauled, empty-handed, away from the van. Awareness you’d lost slowly trickles back into you. The crowd isn’t screaming at the members now; they’re screaming at you. They’re angry. As you’re dragged away, you vaguely note that the Jaehyun fans you were with are fuming behind the security guards still keeping them in place. 
The security guard that carried you off like a rag doll plants you in front of him, and he lets go of your waist but still keeps his grip tight around both your forearms, which have been twisted behind you. You have no choice but to watch from afar as the members drag Mark into the van, looks of concern etched across their faces. They ask him if he’s hurt, and he shakes his head. Right before the door closes, he quickly glances back at you. Your heart sinks for the second time today as you see something in his eyes you’d never seen before. 
Fear. Mark is afraid of you.
250 notes · View notes
topperscumslut · 2 years ago
Text
Broken (Randy Meeks x Fem!Reader with Vaginismus)
Tumblr media
PLEASE READ: Guys I’m super proud to announce I’ve written my first vaginismus friendly smut (with none other than Scream’s Randy Meeks)!!!!! For those of you that don’t know, vaginismus is a disorder where the pelvic floor muscles involuntary contract which makes vaginal (and often anal) penetration painful at best and impossible at worst. This is a condition I’ve struggled with for YEARS and have used reading and writing smut with penetration to cope and live out those fantasies that I can’t have irl (I’ve recently started treatment and am about to start pelvic floor physical therapy so hopefully I can have sex with my long distance gf this summer lol). I wanted to write this for my fellow AFABs with vaginismus (or really anyone who’s interested in reading it and/or learning more) and I just watched the newest Scream movie and have started hyperfixating on the whole franchise again and am FERALLY horny for Randy so um… here this is ig?
Description: Sidney, Billy, Tatum, and Stu are talking about their sex lives which makes Randy and Y/N feel a bit insecure due to being the virgins of the group… though the reason runs a bit deeper for Y/N. (Also the murders don’t happen in this story which means Maureen Prescott is alive and well and since yk cause and effect therefore Sidney doesn’t have issues with intimacy like she does in the film so her and Billy are sexually active so um ya) Randy and reader are clearly in love with each other but everyone can tell but them lol.
Content/warnings: both smut and fluff (kinda hurt/comfort). mentions of penetration but none included. mentions of vaginismus. handjobs and coochie touching (how tf else do i describe it cuz it’s not fingering???). oral (both AFAB and AMAB receiving). innocence kink, hair pulling, slight begging. Randy worshipping your body lmao. not proofread cuz it’s 6am.
Word count: 2k
It was a normal day at Woodsboro High School, just six best friends talking and laughing as per usual; Sidney laying in Billy’s lap, Stu with his arm around Tatum, and you and Randy sitting awkwardly off to the side, both oblivious to the way you’re mutually trying to move oh so subtly closer to each other to the point that Randy’s body is nearly touching yours.
“Hey, Tate,” Sidney speaks up, “where were you guys last night? The four of us went out and tried to reach you two but didn’t get an answer.”
“Stu and I were… busy,” Tatum says with a blush, biting her lip.
“Oh yeah we were!” Stu laughs, pulling Tatum closer and sticking his tongue out teasingly.
“Oh God, gross,” Randy groans, rolling his eyes.
“Hey, it’s no biggie, right Sid?” Billy flinches as Sidney lightly hits his arm at his comment, now blushing herself. “It’s natural, we all do it. It’s not our fault you’re a virgin-”
“C’mon Billy, don’t be a dick,” Tatum sighs, “Randy’s just a little more shy than the rest of us. Nothing wrong with that.”
No one had picked up on the fact that you had been uncomfortably silent this whole conversation. No one but Randy at least.
“I-I should probably get going, you guys,” you mutter, picking up your stuff and turning to walk away, attempting to hold back the tears forming in your eyes. “Don’t wanna be late to class. See you guys later?”
“Yeah, see you later Y/N!” Tatum says with a sweet smile before turning to the others after you’d left. “What the hell was that about?”
Randy was wondering the same thing, which is why he went out of his way to find you after class while the others met up at Tatum’s locker.
“Hey, Y/N, wait up!”
“Oh, hey Randy!” you smile at your crush, pleasantly surprised to see him, “what’s up?”
“I, uh, just wanted to check in on you. You seemed a little off today at lunch. You okay?”
“Yeah…” you reply, though your tone of voice betrays you and Randy can see your demeanor become more closed off. “I’m all good.”
“Okay, cool,” Randy says, not quite believing you but also not wanting to pry. “Do you wanna come over to my place for a bit?”
You blush a bit, excited at the fact that Randy wanted to spend more time with you one on one. “Yeah, I’d really love that!”
You sit in silence for a couple minutes in the car. Usually with Randy the silence is more comfortable rather than awkward, but not today, as he could tell that there was something wrong.
“Look, I know it gets a little awkward when they talk about the sex stuff, particularly Stu with how vulgar he gets. Trust me, I get it, especially being the only virgin of the group,” he says with a forced, shameful smile.
“Yeah, about that…” you sigh awkwardly, nervously scratching your neck.
“Wait, what?”
You shake your head. “Nevermind. Forget it.”
“No, tell me Y/N,” Randy replies, sheepishly placing a hand on your knee which activates something inside of you. “What’s up, for real this time?”
“Well…” you trail off, slightly shocked that you’re getting into this with your best friend who happens to double as the boy of your dreams. “I’m a virgin too, you know.”
“Very funny, Y/N,” Randy chuckles, brushing off your comment.
You laugh a bit in response. “What, is that so shocking? You calling me a slut, Meeks?”
“Oh my God, no! I didn’t mean to-” Randy stutters turning beet red, “I mean, fuck… you’re gorgeous. I would’ve never thought… I’m sorry.”
“Hey, I was just joking, don’t worry! I didn’t actually think you were saying that,” you giggle. “And seriously, have you ever seen me talk about sex with the rest of them?”
“I guess not, now that you mention it…” Randy shakes his head. “But I guess I just figured that was because unlike the others you aren’t in a relationship. I just never imagined you would- I mean look at me, it’s kind of obvious, but look at you,” Randy can hardly keep his eyes on the road as he turns to admire you, his gaze lingering on your lips. “I mean, surely you’ve had the chance.”
“I mean I have, and it’s not that I haven’t done some things, it’s just…” you shake your head.
“Hey, s’okay,” Randy says, slowly rubbing circles on your knee with his thumb, causing a growing wetness between your legs and butterflies in your stomach, “you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”
“No, I think I actually do want to. It’s just I have this… condition.” Randy’s eyebrow quirks up in curiosity. “I just, I can’t have sex. Or, well, not sex sex, as society thinks of it. The muscles down there just… tense up. Nothing can go in. So no sex, no fingering, no tampons. It’s fucking miserable.” You laugh uncomfortably, trying to lighten the mood. “Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m telling my guy best friend about my broken vagina!”
“Hey!” Randy speaks up, “don’t say that. You’re not broken. And any guy who’s bothered by this condition is a piece of shit who doesn’t deserve you.”
“I know, I guess. It’s just hard, when the others talk about their great, perfect sex lives all the time and I just feel like I’m sort of defective. And even you, I mean, sure you haven’t had sex but you’re at least physically capable of it.”
“Yeah, just not socially,” Randy chuckles. “Not one girl wants to have sex with me.”
“Or more, the one that does physically can’t,” you mutter under your breath.
“What was that?” Randy asks, locking eyes with you as he pulls into the driveway.
“N-nothing,” you stutter, taken aback as he leans over and presses his lips to yours.
You’re a bit shocked at first, albeit in a good way, but soon grasp what’s happening and passionately kiss him back, knotting your hands in his hair and lightly pulling which causes him to moan softly in your mouth. He pulls away, a string of saliva connecting you.
“I don’t care if I can’t be inside of you. You’re perfect the way you are, and you’re not broken. Fuck anyone who says otherwise. I don’t give a shit what we can or can’t do, I’m going to make you feel so good,” he looks down sheepishly, surprised at his sudden confidence, “with your consent, of course.”
You roll your eyes playfully. “Of course I consent, doofus! Have you seriously not noticed me nearly soaking through my panties for you for months now?”
“In that case,” Randy says, giving you another small peck. “You’re mine tonight.”
He leads you into his house where luckily his family is gone, opening the door for you with a “m’lady,” which makes you giggle and blush before taking your hand and leading you up to his bedroom.
“Just tell me if there’s anything you don’t want to do, and stop me if you feel uncomfortable, mkay?” Randy asks, running his hands up and down your body and you nod.
You couldn’t help but find yourself attracted to Randy’s innocence. Sure, you were technically a virgin, but had done other stuff with guys before, most of which who left because you wouldn’t (or more, couldn’t) put out. But Randy on the other hand had never even been touched by a woman before. Something about that was incredibly sexy.
He looks at you for permission to which you nod before he pulls your shirt up over your head, admiring your breasts in your lacy bra. You unhook your bra as Randy talks off his own shirt and takes in the beautiful sight of your bare chest, eyes widening.
“Oh my fucking God…” he whispers, awestruck by your voluptuous breasts, taking them into his hand and lightly pinching your nipples, making you whine in pleasure.
Randy meets your eyes with a newfound confidence you’ve never seen in him before. “You’re so fucking horny for me, aren’t you babygirl?”
You nod sheepishly, blushing. “I need you so badly Randy.”
He takes your left breast into his mouth, swirling his tongue around your nipple which draws a couple lewd moans out of your mouth before switching to the right one. This continues for a couple moments before you pause him.
“Randy, stop,” you say, pulling his mouth away from your tits.
“What’s up?” he asks, saliva hanging from his lips, “did I do something wrong?”
You shake your head. “No. It’s just you deserve to feel good too.”
“O-okay,” he mutters shyly as you start to unbuckle his belt and pull his pants down before removing your own, leaving you both in your underwear.
You start to palm him through his patterned boxers, eliciting soft groans of ecstasy from him.
“That feel good?” you ask.
“Y-yes,” Randy sighs, head falling back in pleasure. You look at him for permission before unleashing his cock from his boxers and slowly massaging the length of it as he bites his lip from the sensation.
“F-fuck, more,” he moans as you speed up.
“If you insist,” you say with a smirk, taking him into your mouth and sucking lightly.
You begin to take him deeper into your throat, generously licking and sucking his shaft as he moans and whimpers with pleasure. He wraps his fingers in your hair, gently tugging which only arouses you more. Due to his inexperience, it isn’t long before he cums down your throat with a loud moan of relief.
“Holy fuck,” Randy pants. “You were amazing at that. Now if you don’t mind, it’s my turn to return the favor,” he says with a cheesy wink.
Randy kisses his way up and down your body before focusing once again on your plentiful chest, licking and sucking your tits which causes you to whimper out his name.
“Randy?” you whine.
“Yes babygirl?”
“My-my pussy needs you.”
“Oh, good girl,” he purrs, “telling me what you want.” He reaches down suddenly, rubbing torturously slow circles into your clit through your panties.
After a couple minutes of you begging, he slowly removes your panties, continuing to massage your clit.
Damn, you think, for having literally no experience, he sure knows his way around a clitoris.
Randy once again looks at you for permission before laying you down on his bed and spreading your legs, eagerly putting his face between them.
“You sure you want this?”
“Yes, fuck, just please Randy!”
Your consent is all he needs before he’s shoving his face in your pussy, licking a stripe up your folds before sucking and licking your throbbing clit.
You can barely stand the pleasure as Randy licks up and down your vulva, sucking harshly on your clit. His mouth is so warm and wet on you, it sends you into waves of ecstasy you’ve never felt before. You feel your orgasm fast approaching as Randy devours your aching clit and throw your head back in pleasure.
“Randy! Fuck, I’m close!”
He barely removes his mouth from you, keeping his tongue on your sensitive nub as he demands “cum for me,” the vibration of his voice on your pussy sending you over the edge.
You cum hard on his tongue, overtaken by the sweet relief. Randy pulls you back up from the bed where you can barely move from how good he made you feel so that you’re both sitting up facing each other, both still naked.
“Did I do okay for my first time?” he asks.
“You did perfect!” you reassure him, kissing him sweetly.
“Hey, we may not have been able to take each other’s virginity yet…” you say, “but how does eventually sound to you?”
His face lights up with joy. “Do you mean-”
“Yeah, Randy. I want you to be my boyfriend. I’ve liked you since I first met you.”
“I’d love that,” he smiles, kissing you again.
The two of you spend the night kissing, cuddling, and watching (and critiquing) horror movies until you fall asleep in Randy’s arms, dreaming of doing it all again the next day.
296 notes · View notes