#the POINT is. i WANT to see more stuff ig where like. yeah they do just kill each other for fun!

[cowboyschumi]

MUSE

Summary: Oscar is known for being bad at padel, which is why he tries other hobbies, like photography. Now, he clearly needs something to take photos of.

Author's note: Oscar trying to play paddel 🤏

I'm a huge fan of taking inspiration from songs, so you can listen to this. Don't forget to enjoy the reading and show some love. <3

Warnings: None ig.

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COWBOYSCHUMI | 2025 All rights reserved. Do not copy, translate, or upload on other platforms.

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Oscar had to be grateful for being that good of a driver. Man, he was really bad at other sports. Everyone pointed it out and made fun of him, some people even pitied him or found it cute. He even tried golfing, but that racket was his last straw. He was a bit frustrated, but Oscar wasn’t the type to get frustrated and give up. He just accepted the fact that he wasn’t gifted enough.

His Instagram was— for his luck because he wasn't a media guy— managed by a social media professional, who made him posts and even took charge of taking pictures. Yes, none of his dumps, captions, or stories were posted by his own hands, which was crazy. He wanted some sort of control over that, after all, he had a voice and a platform. Not taking advantage of that would be a shame, besides there was no fun and genuine part if he wasn't the one behind his Instagram. So he decided to take it more seriously, it made his brain hurt in the most untolerable ways but he started to post more, engage with his fans.

Instagram dumps are such a religious thing for some people, he wasn't in that group until now. Having a picture perfect Instagram would let people have more connection with the places, his interests— perceive him differently and not some boring and flat boy with not much to say.

Like any driver, he had a stylist, a PR team, and other fancy stuff—which he didn’t like much because the main focus was on him, physically. His content was different now; it was full of sunsets, yachts, cars, and food pictures. He had to thank his team for lending him a professional camera—it made the quality ten times better.

"It's a lost cause." Oscar spoke as he carelessly dried his hair with a towel.

You vividly remember the first time he stepped into one of your classes—the typical shy kid who barely spoke. Other drivers came along with him, doing most of the talking, but they weren’t consistent in attending. For them, padel was just a way to kill time. Oscar, on the other hand, wanted to know everything about it—from the size of the court to executing the perfect shot with his racket. A few weeks after his first class, he started booking lessons on his own, demanding more focus and dedication.

He came around twice a week, and seeing him so often, you quickly grew close. So it wasn’t surprising to find him frequently emerging from the showers at the padel club. You had even learned to tolerate his wannabe tennis grunts when he hit the ball. At this point, you had already seen the worst of him.

"You’re just being hard on yourself. Not everything has to be perfect."

Like in any common locker room, there was a bench where people placed their clothes after showering. You sat there as you two talked.

No matter how comfortable you were around Oscar, you respected him, so you made a point of not looking at his shirtless torso.

"Don't give me a pity speech. I’ve heard enough of that." He really did sound tired of hearing it. But it was true—no one should be too hard on themselves for not meeting their highest expectations. Striving for perfection in everything wasn’t normal. Oscar’s mindset was too rigid, and being optimistic felt like an impossible task for him.

"Webber told me you started… photography? He even sounded worried about what you might do with that." Chuckles and laughter echoed through the warm changing room.

"Yeah, I mean, it’s pretty great. Still got a lot to work on," he admitted sincerely, making that classic uncertain face he always did when he wasn’t sure about something. His facial expressions were always amusing. "I got bored of photographing the plants on my balcony at home. Took some photos of Lando, and Hattie doesn’t even want the lens near her."

Laughter filled the room again—it felt like a comedy show at this point. But when it faded, you exchanged a tense glance, as if communicating telepathically. A mischievous smirk lit up his face.

"No." Your answer was immediate and firm, anticipating what was coming.

"I haven’t even said anything!" He raised his hands in mock innocence, his guilty smile still in place. Oh, you knew him too well.

"I won’t. I’m not photogenic."

"Please, just one time."

Oscar always swore on one-time things. But when something felt good, you tended to repeat it. He knew exactly how to take advantage of your kindness, always asking for harmless favors—because, in the end, you never said no to him.

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And there you were, in his Monaco apartment, on a morning when rain was pouring outside. Oscar always pointed out the differences between his current lifestyle and the one he had in Australia, the daily longing for home. That small place in Europe had its charm, and he wouldn’t complain, but he missed the wide-open spaces, the warmer weather, and even his mom’s cooking. Now he lived on the highest floor of the busiest avenue, in a cramped apartment so small that he barely had space to walk around.

"I brought donuts and coffee," You announced while cleaning your boots on the entrance mat.

"Cool, thank you. Would you mind sitting by the window? The light is majestic." His attention was focused on his camera, probably adjusting some tricky settings.

"Already bossing around?" Unbelievable. The kid already thought he was a professional photographer, giving orders and having the worst attitude.

You had a big trench coat on, surprisingly still soaked after the unstoppable rain. And it kept coming—people still struggling with their umbrellas, cars almost floating down the street. That’s what you could see from how high his apartment was.

The brown-eyed boy placed his face behind his huge, intimidating camera, yet somehow, you didn’t feel intimidated by it—after all, he was the one taking the photos. But then, an unexpected expression of discontent crossed his face, confusing you. Your brows furrowed instantly, maybe you weren’t pretty enough to be photographed. You relaxed your body, stopped posing—that was it. At least you tried.

"Take it off." Oscar’s index finger pointed at my jacket, his face continued hidden behind the camera. The view was limited, but his expression remained unreadable—no emotion, all seriousness. Clueless.

"It's freezing cold outside, you're insane." Despite your protest, you did as he told you—just like always, hating yourself for it. Your body leaned against the nearly immense open window, the breeze sneaked through with ease, making your skin shiver. Your face card wasn’t your main attribute, maybe your toned padel body was. Still, you couldn’t quite grasp why he chose you, considering all the contacts and friends he had. Favors were an unbreakable thing between you two, but, of course, you never owed him a thing.

A few more adjustments, and his camera was down again, poker face still tattooed all over him. With slow, measured steps, he walked closer until he stood right in front of you. His mannerisms were always soft and gentle, like he had been written by a woman. Not exactly naive, but delicate enough to make you feel safe and comfortable in his presence.

Oscar set your coat aside, draping it over his vintage couch. His whole place had that aesthetic. You especially loved the Abu Dhabi carpet that stretched across the floor, its deep reddish tones were delightful. His eyes couldn’t help but dart down your slim silhouette. Your white sleeveless shirt, drenched from the rain, clung to your curves, turning entirely translucent against your skin.

Finally, your eyes connected, and you desperately searched for answers, whether in his gaze or through words. The driver was entirely focused on his task, calculating angles, observing the natural lighting, and analyzing your body. Over-analyzing your body.

You knew that look—the one men gave when they stared too long, leaving a disgusting feeling. But Oscar wasn’t like that. Yes, he was staring, but with such admiration and adoration that, for once, you didn’t mind. For the first time in a long time, you felt pretty. Feminine. Reaching that level of femininity wasn’t easy. Padel and sports had always shaped your image, conditioning you to appear tough, stereotypically masculine. But under his gaze, all of that melted away.

You broke eye contact as the staring became too overwhelming for your liking, exceeding your daily dose of attention. You couldn’t just escape him because he was there, and you were working, or something like that. Your breathing hitched, and you involuntarily let out a low gasp at the feeling of his fingers brushing against your skin. His touch was cold, just like your body. The only warmth came from the fire igniting in your cheeks. His fingers hooked around one of your white straps, which had fallen out of place.

God, you wished you could say a word, anything, but you were petrified.

“You look gorgeous.”

“You just say that hoping I’d say yes to another photoshoot. Your guinea pig.” The back-and-forth banter and sarcastic flirting didn’t end, but now you were playing silly enough to avoid any heartfelt compliment. You didn’t like those types of things because you never knew how to react, especially when they came from him. His contagious laughter filled the room and your world turned upside down.

Something always lingered between you two, and it was the expectedly obvious, taking into account the amount of time you spent together—padel mornings or sometimes afternoons, dinner nights if class ended late, and when he actually managed to wake up to his multiple alarms, cycling together. But it was casual because you never knew what could cross a man's mind; spending a whole day together could mean nothing to them, maybe he even saw you in a sisterly way. So you tried to chill, not giving it much importance—because, again, a compliment could mean nothing.

His free hand found its way to your nape, resting his palm there, barely cradling it. You had no choice but to regain eye contact; he had you cornered with his gaze—physically, too. Any cold once brought by the winter weather had vanished. Your skin was hot, almost burning. Oscar's gaze didn’t reflect frenzy or desire; he looked lost, even stunned.

“Let me kiss you, please.” He murmured hopelessly, his words caressing and sweetening your ears in the most shivering way.

“Oscar, professionally is not the best to-” It was just a matter of seconds before he silenced you in the most cliché way possible. His kisses mirrored his personality—timid and shy, as if he were afraid to go too far. Yet, at the same time, they were sweet and innocent, like a first kiss, completely inexperienced.

Something that you clearly weren't used to.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him even more close, letting each other feel how you teetered, how you edged by just a kiss. Your consent gave him more confidence, turning the encounter into something deeper, sloppier. His lips parted against yours with more urgency, the hesitation melting away as the two of you let each other get lost in the moment. His breath was uneven, intoxicatingly mixing with yours. The kiss grew needier, desperate, and hungry. The sound of your teeth crashing messily together was secondary as his tongue brushed against your lips, savoring, tasting, before he dared to explore further. The slick warmth, the breathy sounds between kisses, the way his body pressed against yours—it was thrilling in the best way.

“I never really liked padel that much, nor was I good at it. There was no chance of improving. But you know why I kept coming back.” Oscar's smile emerged in the middle of the kiss, his tone playful, hinting that he knew he’d been doing something wrong just for the fun of it. Paying for extra classes just to see your face more than once a week? Genius move.

“Oh, I'm so gonna kill you.” You warned him, still in disbelief, that he’d been such a fool, especially since you would’ve said yes to any date prior if he’d only had the courage. There was no need for this extreme and unnecessary padel. But, still, seeing him struggle was part of your routine—and you enjoyed it. Not wanting to hear any lame excuses, you pulled him in, deciding to stay glued to his lips for a very long time

[chipjrwibignaturals]

I am in full support of people taking the life series seriously, really truly, but some part of me can never get past the fact this is just the hermits doing a larp with varying levels of structure. what is wild life if not 'oh god what did the dm (grian) brew up this time'. what is 3rd life other than a bunch of idiots in a field hitting each other with sticks.

[goldentigerfestival]

Since I'd been talking a lot about JP Vesperia (primarily Yuri and Flynn and the heavy changes that surround them, and because I'm highly passionate about them in their original context), I wanted to compile some more jarring if not outright glaring mistakes in the localization (or what were likely intentional changes, because I can't look at some of these and just call them "mistakes"). I'm not going to mention every little change throughout the game, so smaller things I'll mostly be leaving out (namely things that don't really affect characters or context). I primarily just wanted to give some insight on some of the bigger parts.

Some of the changes seem to have been mistakes in translation itself (not just localization, but misunderstanding what was being said in general; such as, there's an instance I mention of that between Patty and Don), so I've got some mentions hanging around for clarity purposes as some scenes didn't make much sense, likely because of this.

Vocal tone with Yuri was the most prominent issue that got me making this, and the context that was changed being right after if not equally next to that (most often also with Yuri but also Flynn).

This is something that has been bothering me for a while and I've been wanting to share this stuff with people interested in seeing the game with its original context. Generally speaking, the plot and story themselves are on point. The majority of the differences surround Yuri and Flynn respectively, so there's going to be a lot of mention of them throughout.

I've also posted video clips of my favorite scenes and the heavy changes, so consider those a supplement to this and vice versa.

Part 2.

Part 3.

Part 4.

(Other) GTF Favorites.

I'd like to preface this by mentioning the chief director and producer of the game itself has also spoken about localization inaccuracy issues, so that's something to keep in mind (it's in Japanese, but you should be able to use the offered post translator).

I'd also like to preface this by mentioning that in the original, Yuri is more playful and relaxed/casual (generally but including with Flynn, which the dub pretty much entirely changed until arc 3), but also gentler and softer. He has a very large variety of tonal behaviors/tonal "moods" that were pretty much nuked from the dub.

Basically, to get the full experience for Yuri, I can only really recommend playing the game in JP audio. Obviously you won't get the actual context because all you'll have is the dub context, but that's also partly why I'm making these posts - to cover the contextual changes while the video clips cover some of the tonal changes (because lbh I don't expect anyone to actually go watch the entire game in JP with subtitles unless you're as insanely dedicated as I am, and I'm largely doing it out of my love for the original Yuri and Flynn and my disdain for how the localization treated them).

As a heads up, there won't be many skits in here because I'm going through a specific YT playthrough for these screenshots. Specific skits won't always come up in the playthrough in question, and I can't find a whole list of skits in JP anywhere online. I don't have all skits unlocked in my own save either yet (you can unlock all skits with Grade which I have yet to do in the DE), so I can't use that to compare all skits right now.

There are plenty of small changes here and there that I won't be including in these posts because there are some sentence changes that aren't impactful but do exist. I just don't want to be here for a year covering the random changes that don't matter much. I'm also not going to include details of a lot of honorifics because I'd be here all day, but there is one one major instance that I mention later on.

For reference if anything wants to actually watch the game in JP with the subs (it goes until just after Hypionia), most of the references come from here. Since in some cases the subber just reused localized text even when the context wasn't the same, I did bring some of those up in these posts too. These were subbed before the DE version came out. I used screenshots with subs where possible to make it easier to follow along.

I have a lot of passion for JP Yuri and I hope I can pass on some of that passion to others. 🙏

Apologies in advance if some of these sound cranky. If I sound cranky about some specific changes, it's probably because I am.

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Since I talked about the whole, Raven being shady and Yuri therefore not being grateful to him incident that the localization for some reason butchered and made Yuri sound like a generally ungrateful or just outright dumb person who doesn't understand gratitude, I'll summarize that one again here:

Yuri has a skit with Estelle originally talking about how he can't find himself being grateful to someone like Raven for showing him how to sneak out of the castle. Basically, Raven is shady and he's not sure he should be grateful to someone like that, and is confused as to why Estelle would be so grateful when she doesn't even know him (because in his mind, he isn't sure he wants to trust a guy with those vibes). The dub just kinda... makes him sound like an ungrateful jerk and not so much because he's not sure he wants to trust Raven. It doesn't really sound like it's an issue of his with Raven specifically but more that he just generally doesn't feel grateful for the aid (and that in general one shouldn't feel grateful for aid like this), which gives off a really wrong impression of him that doesn't hold up throughout the game. Yuri wasn't wholly ungrateful for the gesture itself, but because of who it came from (and I imagine a weird peppy guy in jail is good cause to be skeptical).

We start off we a classic "Yuri, you idiot!" that was changed to "come on already!".

Yuri's response to Estelle mentioning he'd been in the knights doesn't actually give a time frame for how long he'd been there (the dub made up three months, but there was never originally even a time frame given).

Here when Yuri asks Estelle why she can't just leave, her response indicates she actually does know why. The dub made it more ambiguous, which could be easily misinterpreted as she really doesn't know, so I'm dropping this one here.

For some reason the localization seemed to have Estelle responding to Karol directly about the ace always performing their attack last ("I don't think so"). What she was referring to was the tiny monster that walked by, asking for confirmation that that monster was not the eggbear they were looking for (I wasn't gonna fight with the video to get a better screenshot without the annoying YT red bar in the way so the monster is in the corner mid-movement lol). Not sure if that was a genuine mistake, but it was an odd one.

(Also, side note and not putting an image here because it's more general, but Yuri refers to Karol as "Karol-sensei" which was translated in the localization to "Captain Karol". Basically, Yuri calls him "sensei" because that's a teacher/professor, and he's making a play on Karol's knowledge and being their "teacher" about monsters/maps/etc.)

I'd say this is more along the lines of overexaggerating and not overreacting, but this line was literally changed to "haha" in the dub. The whole point wasn't that Yuri just brushed her comment off or found it funny. At this point he still literally thinks she's exaggerating about her lack of knowledge out in the world, her excitement, etc.

Not the only instance you'll find of the dub just changing entire sentences to something meaningless as if they ??? didn't know what it meant (they actually changed Patty saying an entire sentence to "aye"). In some cases they added entire sentences that weren't even there...

Even though I can kind of see where they went with the dub here, the point was supposed to be that Flynn actively thought he would be happy for Yuri to go outside the barrier and see the world.

The dub changed this to Flynn saying that he, in the now, is happy that Yuri is outside the barrier, but then says he got a little less happy when he saw the wanted poster, indicating he was previously happy but got less happy, yet says in that moment that he is happy.

It's a weird case of (past/present) tense usage for the most part, but they also removed the fact that Flynn is literally saying "I thought I would be happy" (thus expressing he'd been wanting Yuri to see the world outside the barrier and would've been happy to find out he did). The reason he's not finding himself happy is because of the wanted poster and the crimes listed on it, following up that his honest happiness for Yuri (ultimately because of the poster) was a lie.

This also means they removed Flynn expressing the honesty of his happiness for a positive concept for Yuri, which, given all the changes toward Flynn in the dub, already now takes away from the fact that he'd been actively hoping for good things for someone and we're left with this more sarcastic take on him being "happy".

Obviously his happiness wasn't really a lie because most of the crimes were falsified (primarily the ones that would make him actually mad, because Flynn has had to have been aware this whole time that Yuri has committed small time crimes for the past few years now), but at the time, the focus on this conversation is that Flynn thought he'd be happy at a time that Yuri left the barrier; meaning he'd been hoping for it prior to it happening.

I'm also mentioning it because it's the very first in a whole line of changes the dub made to their relationship (and it's their first in game interaction ffs) and to Flynn himself as he's perceived as a character. The original is much more expressive of how important they are to each other in a lot of various ways.

Inserting the JP audio version of the following scene with Flynn here.

And... the following one from there.

This was changed to "damn, we if lose our balance...". I know they did it because Yuri had just fallen over, but I'm including this one because the context isn't... really the same thing?

This dub change is a bit odd to me. They had him saying something along the lines of "she is a princess after all" in the dub, regarding the council backing her.

The original context is more like, the council is backing her and he's hearing it directly from Ioder and he probably doubts Ioder would lie like that or about that, cementing that yes, she truly is, like he suspected, a princess, but it's almost still a bit odd to know. It's sort of like, he knew/had suspicions but hearing it directly from Ioder just confirms it for certain.

The dub just made it sound like well yeah, it's obvious they'd want to back her, she's a princess... but Ioder is a prince, so that doesn't explain why they're not backing him. She is a princess after all, so of course they'd back her... but what's stopping them from backing the prince?

Another weird one for me. In the dub Yuri says that "even the Commandant was a little in over his head", when he actually... really wasn't? All he did was step in. Things got bad enough that he had to, but he wasn't in over his head. Not sure how or why the dub ended up with that.

An example of the dub having a habit of just adding in random lines that didn't actually exist (and in this case the one added didn't even contextually make sense. This was no thank you from him, this was literally him making Yuri do something for him because he was going to ask Flynn for a favor and ended up with Yuri in the cell instead).

Another super weird one in the dub. They had Yuri saying Flynn was "too" late, implying he hadn't made it in time, but he did. He made it just before the battle started, but the original context only says he's late, not too late (which makes sense given that they were ready to fight but hadn't started yet).

This was changed to Yuri just mentioning there was one way they could get out of there without actually saying what it was, and Judith saying if he thinks it might work what's the harm in trying it out. Not sure why they changed Yuri literally telling her his plan, so... again, a super weird change that I don't get why they didn't just keep the context the way it was.

Third image was changed to "someone get me away from this psycho", which... I also don't get why they put that there unless they just wanted so much flavor text that they wanted to change the whole "they're in a fight and he's telling her not to come over here because he's pissed at her because they're fighting" part of the fake fight they had going on.

Not one I have a huge problem with, but definitely good examples of them going out of their way to change just... perfectly normal stuff that literally has no reason to be changed? Some of it is flavor text and some of it feels over the top for me. Stuff that makes me like... why would you change that when there was no reason to? Could be more of a personal pet peeve of mine, but I just don't like unnecessary changes when there was nothing wrong or odd about the original text and doesn't at all come off odd in English. Unfortunately Vesperia got littered with those.

I didn't feel like getting a whole video for this, but basically Judith gives a little laugh instead of just the more upset/distressed(?) sound she made in the dub. Feels more fitting imo to keep up the "lie" Yuri started for her. The dub makes it seem more like she feels guilty, versus here she's giving a little forced giggle to go along with it. Again, a change I'm not sure why they put in.

Ngl I get completely different vibes from these. The JP comes across more as concern, rather than... treating them like they're some mob on the loose...?

Once again, this gives off negative vibes toward Flynn as a character imo.

Here Judith gives more of a reason for coming with them, which they changed in the dub to "with the circumstances being what they are, this is just how things turned out". Reasonably, she didn't have to stick around after they ran from Dahngrest, but here she gives a quick "reason".

The dub changed this to "I'll bet he is". They were just told he's the current magistrate in Heliord, and all Yuri says here expresses he's letting it sink in and realizing exactly why all this is happening here. It's not a huge story beat or anything that gets changed, but it's an example of changing things that don't need to be changed as if trying to play things up in a way that... doesn't feel necessary to me? In this case the situation is kind of dawning on Yuri as he realizes how bad this situation could be/why it's like it is, but in the dub it comes across as more just unimpressed and "of course he'd do that".

An unfortunate, classic moment of them changing how much Yuri believes in and trusts Flynn. They changed this to "gotta run, Flynn!" and he just... leaves. I'm sorry but in what universe does "leave the rest to you" equal "gotta run"???

This one is one of those cases where the localization text was super awkward and wonky, and worse, they actually voiced it that way (like "we have guild's job to deal with". Yes, they actually voiced it that way too on top of everything else grammatically wonky with the entire conversation that they didn't bother fixing when the DE came out).

Also here, they changed what Yuri says about Cumore and Flynn. "I don't know how I could explain this to Flynn" doesn't, at least to me, carry the same weight as Yuri actually feeling ashamed (in the dub he says "what a shame", but does not express shame, versus him saying "how pathetic" and expressing shame in feeling pathetic) and saying he can't even face Flynn because Cumore got away. The thing is, Yuri does tend to posture, so when he fails at something, it hits him pretty hard.

And let's be honest, this just hits way harder than "he will get what he deserves".

Interestingly, Yuri could also fall into the category of viewing himself as sinful later on, which I talk about in my favorites post and the usage of "crime" and "sin" within the JP context.

Not particularly important, but just another (more mild) case and example of how the dub just randomly changed tone/mood/wording for no reason.

Another case of Yuri being more aggressive in the dub than he actually was. Here, all he says is just a plain statement. In the dub, he has an attitude about it and says it in a tone that's more insulting that Ioder didn't know about Heracles.

This isn't the only case of dub Yuri acting aggressively toward Ioder when he wasn't supposed to be and we'll get to that, but Ioder is another similar case of the dub making Yuri unnecessarily vocally rude (despite that Ioder is very polite toward Yuri).

(I left out the subtitles because all they did was copy the dub's localization, which kinda defeats the point of this post LOL. This will be the case going forward for any same circumstances.)

This one's a more interesting tidbit to me and less of a harmful change (i.e. I find that a lot of if not most changes relative to Flynn do more harm than good when compared with the original context). Basically it's saying "sweet mask and sharp eyes", implying Flynn's sweet face is a mask and saying it contrasts with his sharp eyes. I could get into a whole rant about why I love that in relation to some side material, but even in the game itself, there's the knight Flynn with his sweet, polite side and his real side that only shows when he's around Yuri (basically, who Flynn has to be for his job and who he actually is as a person, which he only gets to be around someone who knows the real him).

I'd guess this got changed in the dub because they weren't sure how to word it, though there's no mention of "heartthrob" here at all and instead actually says "sweet mask" as if, again, to say his sweetness is just a mask. It's actually a very interestingly accurate representation of his character - how he tends to not be himself when he's being "knight Flynn", and how that sweet face is contrasted by the look in his eyes (which they say, you know, eyes are the windows to the soul, so this would imply the sweet face is the mask and the eyes are the real Flynn. And of course, this Flynn is implied to show himself in his sparring with Yuri in Aurnion, where sword fighting is the best way to express himself. This isn't to say Flynn being a nice person in and of itself is a lie, but that his overly polite, respectful, kind knight side is a sweet mask contrasted to the man who loves to fight and has a sharp look in his eyes)

For now, we'll be back at Mantaic in the next post (due to image per post limit).

[moodr1ng]

did a dnd oneshot today kinda on a whim (signed up yesterday) and it was fun dgmw but also kinda made it clearer to me the kinda dnd im just not that into. we did very very little roleplay and most places we visited were quite summarily described and only there to get what we needed done and leave, and then after wrapping up our characters meeting, getting a quest, getting ready and going to the quest area in like 2 hours the rest was only combat. i got into it and all but ultimately not rly what i wanna do in dnd yknow... i love roleplaying and talking to npcs and exploring some worldbuilding and especially getting to do creative stuff and strategies, and i reckon this doesnt rly mesh well w the type of dnd that appeals more to people who most enjoy long and challenging fights against evil. i still had fun and enjoyed myself and the people were cool but also this is not something id wanna do a whole campaign of and its nice to get more experience to figure that out basically

[cobaltperun]

Hi, I was just wondering if you could do a bottom Tara x top g!p female reader fic?!

where Tara and reader are dating but when sam finds out she forbids reader to come over to their apartment the only time they see each is in college. So T and R are texting 24/7 and one evening things get a little spicy like they start sexting ig sending stuff too each other (if you get what I mean) then Tara decides to sneak out because she's missing reader (vice versa) and goes to reader's apartment and they do it for the first time also could it be soft smut and some aftercare maybe. It's just T and R being gay af!

You don't have to do this btw thanks either way!Bye have a good day/night :)

Rule Breakers

SMUT! Bottom Tara Carpenter x Top G!P Female Reader

Masterlist

Word count: 4.9k

“You are what?!” the scream Sam let out echoed through the apartment making absolutely everyone present, you and Tara included, flinch. This was not the reaction you hoped for, though Tara did warn you it would probably be like this. You had no idea how bad it would get.

“We are dating,” Tara repeated and you could tell by the way she reached out and grabbed your hand that she desperately needed to feel your touch to calm down. How could Sam not see that? See beyond the fact that she herself didn’t know you?

“Absolutely not! Tara you met her what? A month ago?” Sam was not accepting this at all. You could see the fury in her eyes as she looked at you as if you immediately threatened to hurt her sister. You knew what the reason was and you definitely couldn't blame her for it. But it still hurt to see she didn't trust Tara's judgment. Tara was an adult. She went through even more than Sam did and she just wanted to live her life, which included falling in love and dating, and you hoped one day moving in with you so you could build your future together.

Yeah. You were whipped.

“Four months, actually,” Tara rolled her eyes. The two of you met in college on the first day. You sat next to each other and immediately got along and fast forward three months, some time after she had opened up to you about how she was attacked and nearly killed by one of her closest friends, she just asked you out and you accepted it. You definitely developed a crush on her a lot sooner than that, and while that wasn't important at the moment you really believed Tara knew that all along. She just had a way of knowing just how you felt about her, in her own words, you were an open book in her eyes.

“That's not nearly long enough,” Sam pointed the finger at you, the fury in her eyes not fading even slightly.

“Hey, Sam wait!” Tara tried to stop her sister, but it was too late.

“Out right now. If I ever see you close to Tara things will not end well for you,” you had no doubts about just how serious Sam was and you saw Tara’s jaw dropping.

“What the fuck Sam?!” Tara screamed at her sister and quickly turned to you as you got up. “No this isn't what I want!” she jumped to her feet after you and stepped in front of you. “Hey, just listen to me, this isn't what I want,” it hurt you to see her like this, in pain and afraid, and her eyes already filling with tears.

For the first time since you came to the apartment you glared at Sam.

“Come on Sam give it girl a chance,” Chad tried to get her to see reason but a single glare shut him down.

“I will not risk Tara's safety,” Sam would not listen, in fact, she stood up as if to show you the way out. You swallowed the lump in your throat as Tara grabbed onto your hand to keep you from leaving, tears were falling down her face.

“I don't want this, please,” her hands trembled as she said that and for a moment you stopped glaring at Sam.

Your eyes softened and you gently brushed the tears off Tara’s face. “I know you,” whispered and leaned down to kiss her, Sam be damned. Tara relaxed into the kiss, realizing you weren’t going to leave her, and she kissed your back and poured all of her love into that one single kiss. When you separated you turned to Sam returning her glare without flinching for a single moment.

Sam was intimidating there was no doubt about it, but this was a lot more important. “You can try all you want, Sam, you will not scare me away. Got it? Drop the protective big sister bullshit because no one gets to make my girlfriend cry. Not even you,” the temperature in the room dropped when you said that and you could tell everyone just got on the verge of running away and you could not blame them.

Sam looked even more furious, she looked ready to spit fire and rain hell upon you, but you stood your ground. And to make your defiance even more clear you stepped around Tara and faced her sister head on with nothing blocking her path.

Sam remained silent for now, just glaring at you and you nodded, feeling like this ended about as well as it could. “Glad that's clear, I’ll see you later Sam,” you made your point clear, there was no reason to stick around because hanging out with Tara at this point, in this situation and in their apartment wouldn’t do any good for anyone, you and Tara especially.

~X~

She absolutely won the lottery. She would never try to even purchase a ticket because all her luck was just spent on getting the most amazing, badass girlfriends she could ever hope for. Did the way you talked back to Sam make her wet? Yes, yes it did.

Would she have gone to her room to handle that if everyone else still wasn’t at the apartment? Yes, she would have.

Would she do it tonight? Absolutely.

~X~

After what happened last week you and Tara kept seeing each other only at college, and that, more often than not, led to both of you just ditching the classes and getting coffee and croissants from a local bakery you both loved to visit. You did not expect that single decision to haunt you for the rest of the week. You both thought you were just that slick about it as you skipped several classes over the past week just so you spend time together and act like an actual couple instead of two people hiding from the world.

The world in this case being Tara's sister.

If Tara started failing classes because of her absence, well, that would be entirely on Sam.

~X~

Tara should have seen the trouble coming from a mile away. She just had too much fun today, walking with you in the park, grabbing breakfast, you even managed to catch a movie, and it was actually a good one! And to make things even better Tara couldn't keep her hand away from your own, constantly holding it as you went from one place to another.

And then the world just turned against her. She opened the doors and saw Sam expecting her with a stern look on her face, and arms crossed, sitting at the table in the kitchen.

She was in so much trouble.

“You were with her, weren't you?” well she couldn't exactly confess, so she would at least try to deny it. What were the chances that Sam had an actual proof Tara skipped classes with you?

“We were catching up on some lesson we missed, so classes got extended,” Tara lied a bit easier than she thought she would, but she figured the habits she picked up on while she was living with her mother were difficult to get rid of.

“Do not lie to me, Tara!” she flinched at Sam’s shout. “I went to pick you up and you weren't there. And when I asked your classmates if you even came to the classes, they told me neither of you showed up today!” Tara was caught pretty much red-handed and Sam knew it.

Tara sighed and sat down across the table. “You can't expect me to break up with her, Sam. I love her!” she was getting frustrated by Sam's behavior. Why couldn't her sister just let her go, just let her live her own life.

“Tara, you don't love her, you don't even know her properly! She could be dangerous,” this paranoia had to stop, because Sam saw everyone that tried to approach Tara as an enemy, as someone Tara needed protection from.

“Sam do you hear yourself?” Tara couldn’t deal with it anymore. “We are living with Quinn and she keeps bringing random guys to the apartment! Any one of them could be as psycho that just gets up one night and kills all three of us. You don't know those guys, yet you let Quinn bring them along!” Terra pointed out, exasperated by Sam not being able to see logic in her words, more importantly she was furious because Sam wouldn't trust her judgment.

She knew you. She had complete trust in you. And she got betrayed in a worse way than Sam did, after all while Richie was Sam’s boyfriend, Amber has been Tara’s friend for over a decade by that point.

“That isn't how Ghostface works and you know that,” Sam argued back. Ghostface this, Ghostface that. Tara was getting sick of it.

How could Sam not see it? “Ghostface isn't the only psycho, Sam! I can't live my life fearing that anyone I meet is going to turn out to be a psychotic killer. I want to live Sam, I fell in love and I want to enjoy that! I want to be with Y/N!” she desperately hoped Sam would just for once listen to her.

Yet Sam acted like a broken record. “We don't know her,” and Tara knew it wouldn’t matter how long you spent trying to get Sam’s trust. Sam would never know you ‘well enough’, Sam wouldn’t even try to get to know you.

“So what? I'm just supposed to fall in love with Chad? Because who else is left?” Tara demanded, but she might as well be talking in an entirely different language.

“This conversation is over, you’re grounded for a week,” Sam stood up and stormed into her room, leaving utterly flabbergasted Tara alone.

What a great way to spend the week off from classes.

~X~

Five days, that’s how long this torture’s been going on and Tara felt like she was about to lose her mind. And she was supposed to last an entire week?! The remaining two days felt like they would never end because each day seemed to drag out more than the previous one, even witconstant texting between the two of you. She turned in her bed for what felt like the hundredth time and her bed showed it. Messy twisted blanket, crumpled sheets, her head resting only on the corner of her pillow as she once again got on her back and stared at the ceiling. Sam was being unfair. Mindy had Anika, her and Sam were living with Quinn, who they didn’t know beforehand, and Tara was sure Sam had something going on with that Danny guy, and Chad was also occasionally flirting with girls! She was the only one who couldn’t have what she wanted.

Her phone buzzed and she immediately scrambled out of the blankets to take it. Curse her battery for needing to be charged! Tara quickly unlocked her phone and saw the message was from you.

Y/N: You need to see this!

Underneath it she saw the cutest Instagram reel of a puppy surrounded by ducklings.

Tara: 😍😍😍 They are so cute!

Your answer was immediate.

Y/N: Not as cute as certain someone, but it’ll have to do 😉

Tara fell back on her bed, a ridiculously wide smile already making its way to her face. Fuck, she missed you so much. ‘Yeah? Certain someone?’ she replied and her breath hitched when you sent her a selfie wearing a very soft looking shirt and grinning at her, and all of that could be manageable, if only Tara’s eyes didn’t immediately go to your lips and she realized it’s been way too long since she got to kiss you. She needed to feel your lips on her own, on her neck, on… fuck, what if you went lower. She bit her lower lip, studying your face, imagining your smiles, the way you looked at her.

Y/N: Tara? Baby? You’ve left me on seen for five minutes

That message temporarily snapped her out of her daydreaming. Or would it be nightdreaming? She never really thought of the logic behind the word. And she was desperately trying to ignore the desire gradually, scratch that, rapidly building inside of her.

Tara: I miss you

She finally replied and glanced back at your selfie as you typed the response.

Y/N: I kiss you too

Y/N (edited): I miss you too

Tara burst out laughing and quickly covered her mouth. ‘I saw it! Can’t take it back!’ she replied only to barely hold her laughter back when you just replied with ‘Shit.’ She smiled fondly, taking pity on you.

Tara: I want to kiss you too, so, so bad. I keep thinking about it and other things all the time

There, she confessed, knowing you were still prone to getting embarrassed and all shy about how affectionate Tara could get. Randomly kissing your cheek or hugging you when she knew you least expected was easily her favorite thing to do. The clear embarrassment on your face and the hitched breath, and especially the way you would freeze for a moment kept Tara entertained.

You had your own ways to mess with her, though she suspected you weren’t doing it on purpose. You would just go ahead and pull her chair out for her to sit, or bring her favorite coffee along when you would meet up and it was really messing her up to feel so cared for after years of neglect. It was yet another reason why she was so mad at Sam because she feared she wouldn’t be able to forgive her sister if Sam’s suspicious nature chased you away.

Y/N: Other things?

Hook, line, and sinker.

Tara opened her camera and switched to video. She winked at it and then turned it lower, to her waist, making sure to capture every detail as she unbuttoned her jeans and just brushed her fingers over the zipper, taunting you. She slowly panned the camera up her body while trailing the path with her hand. “Other things,” she was well aware of the sliver of her skin the camera caught when she pushed her shirt up. “Very specific things,” she whispered as seductively as she could, which, well, she didn’t have experience with seducing people, but she knew she’d get the desired effect with you as her hand brushing between her breasts moved the shirt in a way that emphasized her cleavage. And then she returned the camera to her face to show you she was lightly biting the corner of her lower lip.

She didn’t hesitate one moment before sending it.

You saw the message immediately, yet you didn’t respond, and Tara may have been stuck between getting nervous and completely confident in her charms. Minutes later she finally saw you typing.

Y/N: Tara

She could hear the exasperation in your message, yet she just sent ‘Yes, Baby? 🥺’

Y/N: Look at you acting all innocent

Yeah, she knew she was being rather mischievous. Even more so when she just replied with: ‘But I am all innocent’ she waited a moment, imagining you rolling your eyes and not immediately noticing the word play.

Tara: All innocent and inexperienced, just waiting for you to touch me

She put her phone under her shirt and took a photo, making sure there was just enough light to tease the details of her bra and sent it to you.

Your reply made her squeeze her thighs together. You sent her another photo, this time of you in front of a mirror, your hand covering the bulge in your pants and Tara caught herself wondering, and not for the first time, how big you were.

“Don’t tease me,” she sent you a voice message, whining as she cupped her breast, as her mind created the images of you taking her, fucking her. Instead of a message you actually called her and she resisted cursing because she was about to unzip her jeans and slip her hand inside. “Hey,” she whispered, trying to figure out if she could still do it.

“I’m teasing? Do you have any idea what you did to me?” your voice sounded strained an she knew you were in just as much of a dilemma as she was, only you seemed to be stronger than her, because if she didn’t do something about the lust she felt she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep.

“I know,” she admitted, biting back a moan as she slipped her hand into her jeans and teased her pussy over her panties. Fuck, she was already wet. “Y/N,” if only you were here with her, touching her, fucking her. “Are you hard?”

“What do you think?” you replied and she knew the answer. “I haven’t seen you in five days and the first thing you send me is that fucking video,” oh, you were cursing. She really got to you and you were definitely getting to her as she pushed her panties aside and slid her fingers through her wet folds.

“You started it,” Tara tried to defend herself.

“It was an innocent selfie!” you exclaimed just as she brushed the tip of her finger over her clit.

“Fuck, if we don’t stop neither of us will be innocent by tomorrow morning,” she moaned into the pillow, stuck between the urge to make herself cum and just sneak out and go to you.

“Shit, maybe we shouldn’t stop,” she could hear the faint sound of you stroking your cock and probably would have wondered if you could hear her too, but more importantly she made her decision.

“I’ll be there in ten,” she absolutely despised herself for pulling her hand out of her jeans and ending the call, but she would quickly get rid of that feeling, she just needed to get to you first.

~X~

You met in front of your apartment with Tara immediately jumping into your arms and kissing you, and you found yourself being pushed against the wall next to your doors as she deepened the kiss. “Fuck, finally,” she groaned, pressing her body against yours. “Y/N,” she moaned your name, and you felt her grinding against you, not even waiting to get inside.

The effort it took to actually slow down and take her to your bedroom should be studied, but you couldn’t let your first time be rough and quick. No, Tara deserved a lot more than that. “Easy, Tara, let’s just go inside,” you barely put your hand over your mouth to quiet the moan when she nibbled on your neck.

“I need you,” she whined, but allowed you to pull her into the apartment and toward the bedroom.

“I know, I know, I need you too,” you confessed, uncomfortably hard, and it only got worse when Tara pushed you onto the bed and straddled your lap. “But we can take as much time as we want, just take it slow and enjoy our first time instead of rushing through it.”

She felt it when she jumped into your arms, and now that she was straddling your lap. This was what she wanted for so long, yet now that she was looking at you the words you spoke echoed through her mind. Yeah, she would really enjoy that, just taking things slow for once. Slow and steady.

She leaned down, kissing you softly as she brushed her fingers over the fabric of your shirt, reaching up to your shoulders and squeezing lightly when you wrapped your arms around her. “You sure you’ll be able to hold back,” she asked when she pulled back, you were very hard after all.

You ran your fingers through her hair and looked her in the eyes. “I’m not holding anything back,” you promised and kissed her again. Your lips felt so soft, and Tara moaned, she truly missed this feeling. You slid your hand down to her neck and Tara let out a shuddering sigh as she lifted her head up and made it easier for you to kiss her neck. This was good, this was familiar. Making out with you always left her needy and this time wasn’t an exception as she felt the heat pooling in her core. “Y-Y/N,” she whimpered when you bit her neck slightly, just the way she liked it and Tara slowly began grinding on you. “Just like that,” she whispered as you dragged your tongue up her neck, soothing the burning skin.

“You’re so beautiful,” you were mesmerized by her, captivated by her beauty. Her breathy moans felt like the most beautiful melody ever created and you were the one causing them. You pulled her shirt up just enough to slip your hands underneath it. You felt the slight shiver of her body as she squirmed a bit at your touch.

“Your hands are a bit cold,” she giggled as your fingertips brushed along her sides. “Y/N, that tickles,” she smacked you slightly on the shoulder and saw the grin on your face. “Goofball,” she kissed you quickly.

“Sorry,” you muttered, only half-serious as Tara sat up and slowly, in the most tormenting, teasing way possible, took her shirt and bra off. “Fuck,” she looked gorgeous and there was no way your eyes weren’t giving your thoughts away because you couldn’t get them off her body.

Tara smiled at that, she’s shown you her scars before, so she wasn’t worried about your reaction, but this? She was definitely getting an ego boost from this reaction, and the way your cock twitched against her pussy. “You want me, Y/N? Take me,” she said it. “Do anything you want with me,” and in return she’d do anything she wanted with you and there were plenty of things she wanted, so many in fact she knew you couldn’t do it all tonight.

You cleared your throat and nodded as you sat up yourself and then flipped the two of you around so you were on top of Tara. You looked her in the eyes as you leaned down and, while cupping her breast, licked her already hard nipple. Tara took your own shirt and bra off and watched you as you sucked on her breast while she ran her fingers through your hair, encouraging you to keep going. Her other hand found your breasts and she brushed her thumb against your nipple.

Your tangled bodies moved together. Every touch of your hands left her skin burning, left her body more desperate for your touch, every single brush of your fingers drove her mad with desire. And she still didn’t take her jeans or panties off. Your hand went lower until your fingers tugged at her jeans, teasing her and making her moan. “Need you,” she whispered and felt you nodding as your unzipped her jeans and pulled them down.

“You’re soaking wet,” you grunted as you slowly rubbed her pussy over her panties. Tara dared to believe you could slip your cock inside her without any troubles with how wet she was if only you weren’t so big. You pulled your hand out of her jeans, making her immediately whine.

“Y/N, don’t tease me, please,” she begged, but luckily you just took a moment to take her jeans and panties off and strip the rest of your clothes as well.

“That’s your specialty,” you got back on top of her and pushed two fingers inside her pussy, and if she wasn’t as aroused as she was she would probably be embarrassed at how easily your fingers slipped in. Your fingers felt so good inside her as you continued kissing and caressing her body and Tara lay there, a moaning mess before your cock was even inside her. She reached down and wrapped her hand around your cock, there was precum leaking out of it as she rubbed the tip with her thumb. “Don’t, I won’t last if you do that,” you bit her shoulder a bit rougher than you intended. “I want to cum when I’m inside you,” you said while bringing her close to her orgasm.

“Me too then. Put it in me, I’m ready,” she spread her legs for you and kissed you as you blindly reached for the drawer next to your bed and grabbed the condom on top of it. If she didn’t quite literally tell you you would be having sex she would have teased you, but as it was she just wanted you to put it on and fuck her.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” you asked as you lined your cock up with the entrance to her pussy. And oh, she was ready, soaking wet, she probably wouldn’t even feel any pain. Tara nodded and kissed you once more as she hugged you tightly. She felt the tip of your cock sliding into her pussy and moaned, breaking the kiss and leaning her head back on your pillow.

“Y- Ah! Y/N!” she cried out your name, her fingertips digging into the back of your head, her back arching as you wrapped one arm around her and used the other to hold onto her hip.

“You’re taking me so well, Tara,” you whispered in her ear and finally, finally, she took all of you. She was close before, but now, feeling this full, she knew she was right on the edge.

You knew you couldn’t last for long like this. Tara’s warm, wet pussy engulfed you and you tried to focus on something else, to prolong this, but there was no way you could do that, so, you moved your hand from her hip to her clit and began rubbing as you slowly began thrusting into her, hoping you could get her to cum before you did. You would hold back until she cums, you promised that to yourself.

“I’m so close,” Tara moaned. “Look at me,” she pleaded, and you immediately complied as you looked into each other’s eyes, your bodies moving in the perfect sync as she began meeting your thrusts. Her orgasm kept building up, slow and steady, like your entire lovemaking was tonight, and with each thrust she could see you were getting close as well. “Y/N,” she moaned your name, no longer conscious of how much time you spent like that. She just knew that at one point she came, loud and hard, as your sweat covered bodies pressed together and she felt you cumming as well with a moan of your own.

She was absolutely spent. Satisfied with this being her first time. There would be other nights or days for longer lovemaking with multiple orgasms. In her head, and she truly hoped, in yours too, this was perfect.

Tara held onto you, feeling happier than she’s been in a long time. The blissful feeling consuming her entirely as you pulled your cock out and she glanced down at the filled condom. Maybe it was just her orgasm affecting her brain but she couldn’t help but think how one day, when you’re both ready, you’ll be cumming deep inside her. “Baby, Y/N,” she hummed as you caught your breath on top of her and she gently scratched the back of your head.

You lowered your head a bit and kissed her shoulder. “You were incredible,” you whispered, peppering her shoulder and the side of her neck with soft butterfly kisses. “Tara,” you whispered her name like it was your own, personal salvation. “I love you so much,” it wasn’t the first time you said those words, but it felt so good to hear them.

“I love you too, Y/N,” she tilted your chin up and kissed you on the lips, just as soft as everything tonight was. “I never thought sex would feel this good,” she admitted. There was no pain, no holding back, it consumed her entirely and all she could feel was your love for her as you took her innocence.

You chuckled. “Tell me about it,” you rolled onto your back and pulled Tara on top of you so you could rest while still holding her.

Tara had other ideas, turning both of you so you were lying on the side. “There, that’s better,” she whispered and leaned in, closing the distance between you. You would need to get up soon, clean up, take care of the mess you made, but she could bask in your warmth for a bit longer. Especially when you began rubbing her back, soothing her, keeping her feeling good. “I love how gentle and loving you were,” she whispered as she snuggled up to you, aware that, while she did absolutely enjoy the gentle sex she wasn’t opposed to getting a bit rougher sooner or later. She wanted to feel it all with you, to try everything and anything you were both comfortable with.

“It felt right,” you hummed, focusing on holding her and occasionally kissing wherever you could reach at the moment. While Tara showered you with love through words, you preferred touch, and it worked for both of you perfectly. Tara who was starved for touch, you who were starved for words of affirmation, I was a match made in heaven in her mind.

You stayed like that for some time, easily fifteen minutes, if not closer to twenty. Just cuddling and loving one another before you finally went to clean up, not leaving the shared shower until all the hot water had run out.

A/N: Well... Sam may have been a tiny bit over the top/out of character for the sake of the plot 🤣🤣

[marikosenwrites]

karasuno boys - dating headcanons (pt. 1)!

a/n: sen here!! heyy obsessing over our haikyuu boys are we <3 yes i am i'm only on season two right now though, almost season three!! i'll be doing aoba jousai, nekoma, and fukuroudani gakuen! enjoy!

characters: hinata shouyou, kageyama tobio, tanaka ryuunosuke, sugawara koushi (suga-san🥹), sawamura daichi, tsukishima kei (TSUKKI🥹) [pt. 1], yamaguchi tadashi, takeda ittetsu (just me and one of my favorites), ukai keishin [and in that order] {pt.2}

pt. 1 || pt. 2

notes: in this au, kiyoko can't be married to tanaka...yeah. they're still in highschool, btw

gn!reader

↳ ❝ [ 日向翔陽 HINATA SHOUYOU ] ¡! ❞

-this cutie omg

-probably the first to confess

-gets all blushy when you're around at the start of the relationship

-you love ruffling his hair

-if you watch him practice until the end, he treats you to meat buns!! if he doesn't have enough money, he'll just share one with you

-kageyama is jealous omg and tsukishima is just like "the chibi got a girlfriend??"

-loves you so very much

-his love language HAS to be words of affirmation and physical affection

-you just can't help but return the affection

-if you don't know how to play volleyball, he's gonna teach you!!

-if you know- he's going to ask you to talk to him

-dates will be chaotic and affectionate

-often cooking dates!

-you love his family especially natsu

-also love them amusement park dates with him

-he's so fun loving and all

-kisses are very innocent, close to no spice at all except when he's feeling super annoyed or something

-loves cuddling with you when it's bedtime <33

-does NOT have a specific schedule rest assured

-calls you his dove (aww)

-you love calling him sunshine <333

-HE'S JUST SO BRIGHT

-I SWEAR

↳ ❝ [ 影山飛雄 KAGEYAMA TOBIO ] ¡! ❞

-a sweetheart actually

-he's so cold on the outside but lights up when you're there

-kisses have a little bit of spice

-he's too prideful to confess first ig so you make the move

-loves it when you come to his practice to support him

-at some point he has requested you to become a manager because sometimes ukai thinks you're a distraction for him so asks you to walk out for a bit to let kageyama concentrate

-you bet he has worried over it because he didn't know where you went

-ok onto the main shit

-dates are always somehow sport related (HOW DOES HE KEEP FINDING THEM)

-sometimes an outing or two when he's actually free and not busy with volleyball stuff

-you'd think he isn't clingy...WELL IT'S THE OPPOSITE ALRIGHT.

-he actually craves YOUR attention and YOURS ONLY

-i think you two would have a cat together (named it NOTHING after the other volleyball players you know :/)

-loves your cuddles too

-WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT

-YOU KNOW HE BUYS THEM DRINKS RIGHT

-HE WOULD BUY LIKE HUNDREDS FOR YOU IF YOU WANT

-aww the little (wait he's tall) guy

↳ ❝ [ 田中龍之介 TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE ] ¡! ❞

-the hot-headed guy just can't get enough of you

-you sometimes make fun of him for being almost bald-

-but he's okay with it because he loves you (as long as you dont do it that often)

-okay so firstly like kiyoko WHEN HE SEES YOU HE CONFESSES TO YOU ALMOST IMMEDIATELY

-one second he's dumbfounded by your beauty, the other he's confessing to you already

-like you reject him first few times

-AND THEN AND THEN YOU START TO FALL FOR HIM

-THEREFORE YOU ACCEPT WOOOOO

-it's uh "Y/N-SAN! I LIKE YOU CAN YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!!!" and then you're just like "ah- yeah. mhm."

-he's just like :o WHAT

-okay that's it for the confession

-dates are always what you want

-if it happens you want to make cake, go for an ice cream shop, an amusement park- whatever, you name it and he can afford it? YOU'RE GOING

-they're all so sweet...

-he's also needy at some point when you're dating

-so...MORE IN MY NSFW LATER

↳ ❝ [ 菅原孝史　SUGAWARA KOUSHI ] ¡! ❞

-i'm gonna bet 100 dollars that he's the one confessing

-STEP ONE: get you as his girlfriend

-firstly he's going to ask you to meet him during lunch in the morning

-second when you're both there he confesses

-to his surprise you accept to go out with him and one date turns into two, into three and ON

-STEP TWO: MORE DATES TO COMEEE

-always ice cream dates and baking dates

-always appears to get flour in his fluffy hair

-ALSO ALSO YOU LOVE PATTING HIS HAIR AT ALL TIMES IT'S LIKE COMFORTING YOURSELF

-sometimes picnics too <333

-STEP THREE: there is none for now but THERE WILL BE SOON. SOON ENOUGH.

-his way of giving you affection is by kissing you, cuddling, and giving you praises...

-do you have a praise kink (nvm forget i asked that)

-cuddling in bed is one of his favorite ways to go to sleep

-you stroking his back is too

-you guys are always the talk of the karasuno vb boys group when you guys get together for gatherings (the perfect couple?!?!?!?!)

↳ ❝ [ 澤村大地 SAWAMURA DAICHI ] ¡! ❞

-he's definitely the one to confess first being the big boy man he is <3

-literally will kiss you when you accept

-so taken aback you felt like you were going to faint

-his kisses are so gentle help

-ok maybe not sometimes but we all know when that is

-love playing with his ears mayybe?? i know there's nothing different with the rest, but i just feel like it's with daichi

-your first date is an amusement park one ✨✨

-p.s. you shared the cotton candy lmao-

-he literally walked you home and your parents invited him in for dinner

-they like him very much thank you

-relationship has been approved now your parents are urging him to marry you even though it's only one week into the relationship-

-now HE'S the one that pats your head every time he passes you in the hallway or whatsoever

-when you move in together LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS YOUR CHOICE NOW

-you can choose the flat, the decorations, the vibes, the furniture- EVERYTHING

-loves you that much yes

-the sweetest guy ever NO DEBATE

↳ ❝ [ 月島蛍 TSUKISHIMA KEI ] ¡! ❞

-SALTY SHIMA. THIS MAN IS SO SALTY

-i swear bro

-he has rizz though that's for sure

-he confesses to you first (it was during lunch you remember the day like it was yesterday)

-his kisses are half spicy (igg since tsukishima is that kinda person)

-the mean to the public and only kind to you kind of person <3

-dates are usually home dates (he's an introvert (i headcanon))

-perhaps if you can persuade him (it's a 50/50)

-first date was a movie date

-then you went home with him (you went to his house)

-and met his parents

-they liked you very much <33 now treat you like their daughter

-the next time you went on a date, you brought him to yours and he made a good impression but they don't love him as much as his parents do to you

-i will write the time skip arc for this because i am biased and you literally can't stop me (but tell me if you want more i'll reblog it with more hcs)

-you were so happy for him when he joined the sendai frogs

-cheered for him on every game (LIKE THE SHIRT AND THE SIGNS AND STUFF)

-facepalmed himself out of spite ya bet he got a scolding for that

-"KEI KEI KEI GANABTTE," that was you, screaming at the top of your lungs at your HUSBAND.

-"oi, tsukki, who's that?"

-tsukishima facepalmed himself, earning a glare from you, "my wife."

-"EHH?? TSUKKI HAS A WIFE??"

-lmao the most normal occurrence

-after that koganegawa would often come to you and ask for dirt on kei (screw him for facepalming)

-saltyshima (in the public) → sweetieshima (in front of you only)

©marikosenwrites 2024-25 all banners, dividers, and work. please do not steal. i own none of the HAIKYUU!!/ハイキュー！！ characters mentioned. reblogs, likes, and comments are welcomed. <3

[min1check]

Leto! Joker x side chick! Reader ig…

1248 words

Barely proofread ts so i’m so sorry if u see errors

pt 2

Description: You work at one of Joker’s clubs and he starts to take an interest in you….

Every night there would be presents and money left on my small table in my small ass kitchen in this small ass apartment. 

It all started when I finally learned the real identity of my boss’s boss’s boss at the club I worked at. I really needed money desperately for my family who lived out of the country. I’m currently working on the papers so they can gain legal presence but until then I need to work hard and study hard. 

At the club I worked at, they paid me better than most places and I would be able to go to university in the daytime and work at night. 

The club was pretty high class, there were many high profile politicians who were VIPs. Given that they were even at a club, they were most if not all sleezebags who tried to hit on the staff to the point that I could file sexual harassment charges. But nevermind that. 

The club was so high class and full of VIPs that I didn’t expect it to be owned by the biggest crime lord in this city, the Joker. This whole city was corrupt in and out. Even if I tried to file those sexual harassment charges I would’ve been shut up instantly. 

When I saw this head of green hair and his pale deathly looking skin and his red lips that I couldn’t tell if it was lipstick or blood, I tried my best to not be noticed by him. 

Though he looked like a corpse he was extremely attractive. Maybe in another universe I would actually try to get at him. Well and if his fellow Clown Queen of Crime didn't exist. She frightens me even more than Joker. Well actually that’s a lie but as a girl I can say that we’re ruthless when it comes to boyfriends and husbands and such. Too blind and in too much love to use actual reason.

Harley’s beautiful though they genuinely look good together. 

I went over to Joker’s table where he was talking to (or more like taunting) his client to drop off the drinks. It seemed that everyone else already knew what his regular drink was and his client’s. 

I tried my best not to mess up or to not loudly drop the drinks because at this moment I could actually not stop my whole body from shaking. They continued talking about their deal without even looking at me. I kept a friendly smile on my face. 

I walked off a bit quickly because I was terrified. Yet I felt like someone was staring right at me. I quickly turned my head and all I could see in that moment was Joker with his usual devilishly grin looking straight at me. My blood ran cold. 

When I was out of his sight I closed my eyes and started to pray. 

‘Dear God, please forgive me for any sins I have committed for I do not want to die tonight. I have too much to live for so please don’t let me die. Thank you for everything you have blessed me with Lord, amen.’ 

I was crying internally. 

Literally was gonna kill myself right then and there. But I brought myself back to reality and back to work. 

Whenever I would come to work the Joker would be there with Harley. 

I literally think I’m going crazy because I think he keeps looking straight at me…. With his girlfriend/wife/partner in crime which was even worse. Yeah he was hot but cheating men are scum of the Earth. And Joker’s a mass murderer and other stuff. To be honest I kinda forgot I’ve been too busy with school to care about politics….

I finally got a shift off and a day off of school today. I’m just gonna sleep and lounge around and be fat. I got out of my bed to go get some more ice cream in my kitchen. 

It felt a bit unnerving when I was in the kitchen, like someone was watching me. I shook off the feeling because I had locks on every single window and door. The crime in my country is a bit bad so Gotham wasn’t that much different. 

As soon as I turned around to go back to my bedroom with my ice cream in hand…

“Boo!” 

“What the fuck?!” I screamed so loud that I dropped my bowl of ice cream and it shattered. 

“The look on your face doll… it’s so… funny!” The intruder was the Joker and he couldn’t and wouldn’t stop laughing at my reaction. 

“…” I just stood there in silence thinking about how that bowl was so expensive…

I didn’t want my floor to be sticky so I started picking up shards of the really expensive bowl. 

“Aww~ Are you.. mad doll~?” He teased me with his usual grin. 

“Not really, I’m just a little sad because this bowl was really expensive.” I sighed to myself. 

“If that’s it then here.” Joker tossed money at me. 

“Um… It’s okay I’ll just work for it back.” My mom always taught me that I shouldn’t accept money and that I should always offer to pay so I gave that money back to him. 

“Just take it Doll, think of it as my~ first~ gift~ to~ you~” he really emphasized on the last part like really. 

He got comfy and sat down on a table chair as I cleaned the floor from the sticky mess. 

That sounds a little wrong, I just mean my ice cream trust…

After cleaning it all, it occurred to me…

Why and how did the Joker get into my apartment…

My blood ran cold. I feel like I could turn into a reptile with how much my blood goes cold. 

“I liked seeing you at my club but I like seeing you in this shaggy apartment more.” He looked at me. 

“Um… how did you get in here?” I spoke quietly afraid I would somehow strike a nerve. 

“It was easy! I broke your window.” He spoke like he just finished climbing Mt. Everest. 

My mouth dropped to the floor. 

Like I tried to close it but it just wouldn't. 

“…” 

“What~? Cat got your tongue Doll?” He grinned. 

I’m actually going to kill myself. 

At this point I hope he pulls out the glock 19 and shoots me….

Wait but all my windows are barred up…

I looked into my living room and realized there was glass everywhere and the metal bar was stretched apart enough where it would fit the Joker perfectly. 

Calculating the cost in my head I actually started to cry. Tears ran down my face. 

I would be fine if I picked up a few extra shifts but I had to study more because finals were coming up. I’ll have to cut down on food and sleep…

The Joker awkwardly patted my back. 

“Here’s some more money Princess.” 

“I.. Cant accept it.” I said between sniffles and pushed his money back to him. 

He suddenly grabbed my head with both his hands and made me stare him in the eye. 

“Take. The. Money. Princess. Or else I’ll shove it down your throat.” His face was way too close to mine. 

“Thank you…” I tried my best to smile while he was still manhandling my head. 

He kissed me out of literally nowhere. 

My blood went cold again. 

I don’t want to be a mistress or some side bitch….

And Harley’s gonna kill me……

Yet it felt so good. 

[b3ach-bunn7]

CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST

Texts with your best friend Touya (who’s a little bit in love with you)

no quirk au <3

—————————————————————————-

January 9th

8:47 pm

You: OH TOUYAAAAA

You: it’s nearly ur bd 😁 what shall I get u

Touya: Nothing

Touya: Just Ur love 😍

You: ew

You: shall I get u some new earrings

You: OH I COULD PAY FOR ANOTHER PIERCING

Touya: Literally where

Touya: I think I’ve pierced every available location on my face

Touya: Unless… You meant somewhere else 😳

You: EWWWWWWWW

You: UR SUCH A FREAK

Touya: I meant my belly button?

You: stfu

Touya: Get your head out the gutter

You: shut up pooya

Touya: Wow you really got me there!

You: HUSH

January 12th

8:39 am

You: bruh where r u

You: homeroom started like ten minutes ago

Touya: I just woke up

Touya: Leaving onw buy shoti is lissing me kff

You: okay English!!!

Touya: Kys

You: but you can type that right…

January 12th

1:40 pm

You: Touyaaaaaa

You: can we go get food

You: the canteen stuff is rubbish today

You: plz I’m so sos is so hungry I’m dying

Touya: Fatty

You: HEY

You: SO MEAN

Touya: I’m only joking sweetcheeks

You: gross

Touya: You love it

Touya: Shiggy wants to come 2

Touya: Is that Ok

You: sigh fine I guess

Touya: Shall I tell him he’ll be third wheeling if he does 😳

You: yes 🥰🥰🥰😍 he just can’t interrupt our time together my sweet

Touya: Ew

You: you love it

January 13th

7:40 pm

You: GST ON MINECRAFTTT

Touya: I’m doing homework

You: I’m doing your mum OHHH

Touya: Woah

Touya: Telling her u said that

You: PLZ IM JOKING

You: I’ll tell her ur telling porky pies

You: Rei would trust my word over urs anyways 😈

Touya: Lowkey she would

Touya: My own mother 😢

You: I’m just better ig

You: how long r u gonna be

Touya: Give me like fifteen mins

You: BOO

Touya: Bro Aizawa is up my ass rn

Touya: If I hand one more piece of work in late he’s gonna acc kill me

You: idk why u hate him so much

You: i love him

You: and he has that sexy teacher look🤤 those luscious locks

Touya: R u sure u can get off his dick long enough for us to play

You: HAHAHAH

You: STFU

You: ur just jealous

Touya: So very

Touya: Why aren’t u hyping ME up like that

You: cause u smell?

Touya: I’m not playing

You: IM JOKING

You: U smell so good and yummy

You: like cigarette smoke 😍

Touya: 🙄

You: sassy 💁‍♀️

Touya: Stop distracting me so I can work

You: okay smelly

January 15th

2:30 pm

Touya: Y/N

Touya: Y/n

Touya: Y/NNNN

Touya: Queen

Touya: Sweetheart

Touya: Angel

You: if you throw one more piece of paper at my head I’m blocking u

Touya: You won’t check ur phone

Touya: How else can I get ur attention from across the room

You: WE R I. CLASS

Touya: So?

You: think I figured out why Aizawa doesn’t rate u

You: pay attention

Touya: But I miss u

Touya: And I’m bored

You: U LITERALLY SAW ME LIKE HALF AN HOUR AGO

You: AT LINCH

Touya: Ur point?

You: omfg

Touya: So what’s up

You: I’m gonna kill you

January 17th

6:50 pm

Fuyumi: Hi Y/N

You: hey fuyumi!!

You: everything okay?

Fuyumi: Yeah, it’s great!!

Fuyumi: Just wanted to tell u that everyone needs to be at ours for Touya’s party at 5:00

Fuyumi: We’ll tell him to come home at like six so that gives us some time to get everything ready

You: beautiful

You: do u think he has any idea were throwing him a party 🤭🤭

Fuyumi: I don’t think so 😆 we have been very careful

Fuyumi: Even shoto has kept his mouth shut

You: yeah I had to threaten twice a couple times before he promised to not tell

You: IM EXCITED

Fuyumi: Me too!!!

Fuyumi: Can’t wait to see u 😊

You: I can’t wait either!!!

Fuyumi: I hope he’ll like it

Fuyumi: We’re getting mum to drive all across town to get him that cake he loves

Fuyumi: I really want him to have fun

You: don’t worry babe he will have fun

You: and if he doesn’t I’ll force him to 😈

January 17th

7:00pm

Touya: U guys r throwing me a surprise party right

You: what?

Touya: For my bd

Touya: Fuyumi is being all suspicious

Touya: Told me I have to leave the house tomorrow but also come back at six oclock??

Touya: And the little brat keeps giggling at me

You: uhm don’t call little shoto that

Touya: Ur deflecting

Touya: They r throwing a party aren’t they

You: they aren’t

You: idk why you think that

Touya: Y/N

You: WHY DO U HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING

Touya: Lol

You: please please don’t tell them you know

You: they’re so excited for do this for you

You: [screenshot attachment]

You: look what Fuyumi said to me

Touya: Oh

You: please don’t spoil 😔

Touya: Don’t worry your pretty little head

Touya: I won’t

You: YAY

You: LOVE U

Touya: Ly2

January 18th

12:00am

You: [audio messsage]

You: enjoy me whisper singing happy bd to u

You: HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY WOOOOO

You: LOVE U THE MOST

You: okay I need to sleep we have school tomorrow

January 18th

3:07am

Touya: Thank you y/n

Touya: Ly the most too

January 18th

6:15 pm

You: Touya where tf r u

Touya: I’m On my way!

You: we’ll be On your way! FASTER

Touya: STFU

You: U STFU

Touya: U TOLD ME TO MAKE THIS BELIEVEBE

Touya: MY FAMILY WOULD NOT BELEIWV I GOT THERE ON TIME

You: wait ur right lowkey

Touya: exactly

You: well walk faster

Touya: I’m not walking

Touya: I’m driving

You: HOW TF R U TEXTING ME

Touya: Imd riving one handed?

You: GET TF OFF UR PHONE 😭

January 19th

12:04 am

Touya: Y/N

Touya: Thank u for gifts

Touya: The strap for my bass

Touya: And the necklace

Touya: I lowbe them

Touya: and the aprty was so fun

Touya: I lovwd it

Touya: and I lobe you

You: that’s okay 😁

You: are u drunk rn🤔

Touya: Snuch out with bawks

Touya: Hrwks

Touya: Hawks

Touya: Raided fathers liquoye supply

You: you went to your dad’s house????

Touya: NO

Touya: never

Touya: stolen from when he was gere

Touya: fukcing loser 😂😂

You: where r u guys?

Touya: hawks house

Touya: his oarents arent home

Touya: u wanbawcome over

Touya: I’ll kuck him out

You: u can’t kick hawks out of his own house 😭

You: why do u even need to kick him out we’re friends

Touya: he flirst with y so much

Touya: flirts

Touya: pisses me off

You: awwwww r u jelly 🥺

Touya: yes

You: LOL

You: yeah maybe lay off the the drinks buddy

Touya: I live u

Touya: love

Touya: I loved the gifts u got me rhwnks

You: you already said babe

Touya: sorry baby Im so drunk

You: okay I’m going to go before you say something you’ll regret in the morning

You: goodnight birthday boy

January 19th

1:05 pm

Touya: Please erase last night from ur memory

You: last night was a movie 😍

Touya: Yeah a fucking horror

You: HAHAHA

Touya: My head is killing me

You: painkillers?

Touya: Idk where they r and Hawks is sleeping

You: did u guys just wake up 😭

Touya: I think I slept like at like five am

Touya: It’s nice smoking inside a house and not in some alleyway so mum doesn’t catch me

You: BOO

You: ur lungs hate u

Touya: I hate them back

Touya: It’s why I smoke

You: LOL SHUT UP

Touya: Fuck my HEAD

You: that’s what he said

Touya: Ew man

You: you love it

You: go drink some h2o

Touya: Enough chemistry in too tired

You: sigh fine

You: go get some WATER 💦

Touya: Fine

You: bye baby 🤪

Touya: I’ll kill you

You: but I thought you love me??

Touya: Ur dead to me

You: HAHHA

January 21st

7:06 pm

You: Touya

You: can I come over plz

Touya: Erm what 😳😳😳

You: seriously

You: can I

Touya: Yh ofc

Touya: You okay?

You: yh

You: well no actually

You: my dads being my dad again

You: I just can’t be in this house rn

You: I need to get away from him

Touya: Yeah u can anytime

Touya: Yk my family loves u

You: thanks

Touya: You want me to pick u up?

You: nah I wanna walk

You: thanks again

You: love u

Touya: Ly2

January 29th

5:28 pm

You: [image attachment]

You: BRUH HOW DID I LOSEEEE

You: I ATE SK BAD

Touya: Bruh get off dress to impress 😭

Touya: U r beefing ten year olds rn

You: idgaf

You: ten year olds who can’t fucking dress

You: I actually hate this game

You: that is NOT STEAM PUNK WHAT THE FUCK

Touya: Maybe get good

You: maybe kys???????

Touya: Words hurt 😔

You: man up?

Touya: Woah

Touya: Okay just perpetuate gender norms..

You: define perpetuate?

You: YH that’s what i thought

February 6th

7:06 pm

You: bro

You: all my friends have valentines apart from ME

Touya: Get good?

You: okay and where’s urs?

Touya: texting her rn 😍

You: omg 😳

You: but on a real I feel horrifically left out

You: Toga keeps flaunting it in my face

Touya: That little freak got one?

Touya: Who

You: yk that girl in 1-A with the chubby cheeks

You: they r so cute omg

You: how come toga has a lesbian lover and I’m jobless and hoeless 😔

Touya: I can help with one of those things

You: u hiring???

Touya: I’ll be ur valentine

You: I can’t tell if ur joking

Touya: I’m not

You: do u have one romantic bone in ur body

Touya: I can think of one 😳

You: LMAO EW

Touya: Nah fr I’ll be ur valentine

You: okay…

You: ask me properly tho

Touya: Okay

Touya: Hey Y/N

You: oh hi Touya! What’s up

Touya: Will u do me the great honour of being my valentine?

You: 😊 yes!

Touya: Thank you 😊😍

February 10th

2:02 pm

Touya: Omg

Touya: Y/N guess what

You: don’t text me in class lil bro

Touya: Someone asked me to be their valentine 🤪

You: what

You: Who

You: is she in our homeroom

You: did u tell her ur mine

Touya: Woahh

Touya: Jealous much

You: no I just don’t want to be a side piece 😔

Touya: No Dw I told her I’m urs 🥺

You: shush

You: yk what I meant

You: who was it tho

Touya: Idk some girl in my maths class

Touya: She seemed pretty sad when I said no

Touya: The ladies love me

You: she’ll get over it!

Touya: LOL

February 14th

8:03 am

You: OMG

You: ARE THESE FLOWERS MINE

Touya: No I got them for ur dad actually

You: TOUYAAA

You: THEYRE MY FAVS

You: THANM U SM

Touya: Anytime Valentine

February 14th

1:20 pm

Touya: Meet at my car

Touya: I’m taking u out for lunch

You: thank gosh

You: they’re selling some mystery meatloaf type deal and I’m no happy

You: hawksy wants to come too

Touya: No

Touya: Just u

You: girl he’s not gonna do anything

Touya: No this is like

Touya: Hold on

You: okay hawks is looking at his phone and typing

You: r u texting him

You: okay he magically doesn’t wanna come along anymore

Touya: Aw :((

Touya: I’m waiting outside

You: see u in a bit smelly

February 14th

1:50 pm

You: ur such a child

You: IM RIGHT IN FRONT OD U JUST TALK TO ME

Touya: NO

You: WHY

Touya: IK SCARED

You: I can see u smiling

Touya: Shut up

Touya: Okay listen

Touya: If u don’t like what I’m about to say we r going to act like this never happened okay

Touya: I will delete the message out of existence and thus out of ur mind

You: okay…

Touya: Okay so I kind of like actually asked u to be my Valentine not just because ur lonely

Touya: And I like really like you

Touya: As in like like

Touya: But I don’t wanna ruin our friendship because ur the best friend I’ve ever had and will ever have

Touya: So if u don’t feel the same we can just pretend this never happened

February 14th

8:00 pm

You: I’m home safe xxx

Touya: Don’t care

You: okay mr message me when ur back

You: okay mr parked in my driveway to make sure I got in okay???

Touya: Shut up

You: wait hold on

You: is that why uninvited hawks

You: so that u could ask me out

Touya: Yeah and the sky is also blue

You: SHUT UL

Touya: He’s so stupid yk

Touya: It was his idea ??

Touya: And he forgot

You: hey three’s a party!

Touya: So you would’ve kissed me as aggressively as you did if Hawks was there?

You: wait ur right..

You: Oh well

You: it was about time anyways

You: took u like three years and u did it over DMS

Touya: I’m shy 🥺

You: EW TF

You: I take the kiss back

Touya: These hickeys tell me a different story

You: HSUTUP

Touya: You love it

You: I love YOU 🫵

Touya: Yeah

Touya: Love you too

—————————————————————————

This was NOT supposed to end with a confession but I physically cannot help myself 😅 I love these text posts they’re so fun!!

Hope u all enjoyed <3

[aziraphales-library]

Hii mods

I was wondering if you had any fics where azi and Crowley are on tv shows?

Like I’ve seen ones about them on strictly, would I lie to you, antiques roadshow, bake off, the office, but it’s super hard to find fics like that because I’m not aware of there being a specific tag for stuff like that ? (Apart from human Au ig).

Thank you for everything you do on here btw lol :))

Hello! We have an #actors au tag you might be interested in (which includes Slow Show, so there's no need to add it in the notes!). Here are some TV show fics outside of the ones you've already listed...

First dates by Amyk89 (M)

Do you know that reality TV show called First dates? This is a human au, where Aziraphale goes on that and meets bartender Crowley there. If you haven’t seen the show, it’s just about 2 people going on a blind date, then at the end of their first date, the host asks if they want to go on a second date. It’s super awkward. But just imagine how awkward it’ll be when you’ve been flirting with the bartender the whole night?

666 Heartbeats by AppleSeeds (T)

Aziraphale is a contestant on his favourite game show, 666 Heartbeats, where the amount of time he will have to answer the questions is dictated by how fast his heart is beating. If he wants to win big, he'll just have to stay calm. Easier said than done when he has an enormous crush on the host, who won't stop reassuringly touching him.

A Narrow Escape to the Country by shaggydogstail (T)

Crowley and Aziraphale appear as house hunters on BBC daytime institution, Escape to the Country. They are incredibly annoying. Sympathies, please, for the unlucky producer who is not getting paid enough to put up with their nonsense.

How to Win a Lifetime Achievement Award for Services to Television (and how not to) by GaryOldman (T)

Crowley hosts a late night comedy talk show. Aziraphale hosts a feel good morning talk show. When Crowley is asked to present Aziraphale with a lifetime achievement award, everything goes a bit skew-whiff. ----- Normally when I don’t get something that everyone else seems to be mad on my first point of call is the wonderful world of the internet, but we’ve had a falling out you see, the internet and I. Despite my many years as late night show host meets investigative journalist meets comic genius meets veritable sex god (though Wikipedia only acknowledges the first of these accomplishments, despite my many attempts at editing the listing) they have turned on me. I’m a gif. And a meme.

Dating in the Dark by miraworos (E)

Anthony J. Crowley, owner of a failing joke-shop, and Aziraphale, bookshop proprietor with an overbearing family, meet as contestants on a blind dating show. They form an instant connection as roommates but soon find themselves at odds as they compete to win the top spot, and the favor of the same lady.

Married at First Sight by Aracloptia (T)

“Well, that was a thing,” Crowley said once they were out of earshot. Without talking about it, they were both heading down the field, towards the lake where the photographer (and likely a few more people from the TV crew) was waiting. “That was a wedding,” Aziraphale replied, surprised at his own annoyance that somebody called a wedding a ‘thing’. “Yeah, obviously, didn’t miss that part,” Crowley said with a shrug, and waved abruptly in Aziraphale’s general direction. “Neither did you, from the looks of it, since you’re dressed like a wedding bride and everything.” “Excuse me, I am a—“ Aziraphale stopped himself, and started over. In which Aziraphale ends up marrying a rude stranger who wears sunglasses.

- Mod D

[psychesalcove]

„ i took a little journey into the unknown, come back changed I can feel it in my bones

𝜗𝜚 luke castellan x gn reader

synopsis ; headcanons for going on a quest with our favorite hermes boy, luke castellan!! (not possessed by kronos au!!)

requested: yes, by anon !!

⚠️: not proofread AT ALL, being on a demigod quest, being injured, stealing cars, luke being a lil mean but then apologizing, mentions of eating, joking an British ppl (if you're sensitive to that sorta stuff ig)

💬: thanks for the request babe!! I hope you enjoy — I added a bit of writing at the end that isn't headcanons bc i felt like it so I hope that's okay!! Love you!

⚚ going on a quest with luke will for sure feel like a fever dream

⚚ he tries to act all tough and shit and then he'll randomly turn to you and be like: "I'm kinda scared just so you know"

⚚ he's such a dork omg 😭😭

⚚ BUT he's also really good at combat, so you don't have to worry as much about monsters getting to you when you're with him

⚚ he would probably hot wire a car so the 2 of you had a way of transportation besides walking

⚚ lukes also probably really good at talking with people and making them give him things (being a child of hermes and such)

⚚ he would also make sure beforehand that you had more than enough ambrosia and nectar,

⚚ "just to be safe" he says knowing dam (see what i did there) well he'll probably be the one getting hurt

⚚ also, if he didn't end up getting you guys a car, and you're on the side of the road, he will follow the sidewalk rule and make sure you're never by the road

⚚ I also feel like he would be really good at telling if people are monsters in disguise if he pays attention to them, so you can have a higher chance to avoid them

⚚ luke also def has moodswings of being extremely serious and making sure you are on track and being completely distracted by everything

⚚ if the two of you do come across a monster, he will not hesitate to kill it as long as your safe

⚚ and, if you do ever get hurt, either from a monster or something else, he'll turn into your parent 100%

⚚ "yknow how stupid that was of you to do? Did you like not think about what could happen to you or what could've happened? Do you just not think about that sort of stuff in your head?"

⚚ yeah my guy can be a bit rude

⚚ but lukes just expressing that he loves you and doesn't want anything to happen to you while you're out there

⚚ he would realize later that he was being a dick and would apologize: "I didn't mean what I said, just so yknow, I care about you. i don't want to see you do stupid things without thinking first."

⚚ if the two of you couldn't find a hotel or somewhere to sleep, he would happily give you his sleeping bag if you show any signs that you're cold -> and he would 100% give you his jacket if he noticed you were cold as well!!

⚚ it would probably just end up with the two of you cuddling though lmao

⚚ he's also probably really good at bandaging injuries because of all the times he's hurt himself while training

⚚ so when you do get hurt, he'll bandage it for you (not as good as a child of apollo, but it's the thought that counts)

⚚ I mentioned this in another post, but I feel like luke would absolutely suck at reading or trying to understand any type of map, so do not rely on him for that

⚚ he'll look at the map for a good 10 minutes and then point in a direction saying that's where you need to go and it's the way you just came

⚚ luke: "love, I think that I found the way to the nearest gas station" and you look and where he's saying and you're like: "hon, you know that way is just thick woods for miles, right?"

⚚ and then he'll roll his eyes and get all sassy that he was wrong about it

⚚ jokingly of course

⚚ let's say you hurt your arm or something like that,

⚚ luke will gladly tie your hair up (if it's long enough) or brush it for you if it makes it easier

⚚ like the gentleman he is

⚚ he would also make sure that you got enough food, and will even give you his food if he notices that you're still hungry

⚚ if you guys were far enough from any cities at night, you two will definitely stargaze

⚚ I feel like luke would secretly be such a nerd about space, so he'll start pointing out different constellations, stars, and planets you guys can see

⚚ he'll also be really smart with the money you guys have,and I feel like him being one of the older campers let's him have that maturity over the other campers

༉‧₊˚.

the dimly lit diner casted a yellow glow across both yours and lukes face as you took your seat at a booth. you and like had been on the quest for around a week now, and so far, nothing extreme had happened.

it was a simple quest after all, just retrieving an item that iris had lost. the quest had taken you to a more unpopulated town surrounded by woods. being in a less populated area had its drawbacks, but it also had good qualities.

monsters would be more common and would be able to find you and luke easier, but less mortals saw you two; which meant less police reports and not being a fugitive–which is something both of you were trying to avoid.

"so what do you think you'll get?" luke asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts. he had already looked through the worn down menu, you figured, looking at how it was neatly placed back down on the table and unopened.

"probably just some waffles and hot chocolate," you said, briefly scanning the menu in your hands seeing what was available. luke nodded. "how about you,?" you asked, putting down the menu.

"a burger and some hot tea," he said. you snorted at his response.

"you gonna start speaking in a english accent when you get that tea?" you said jokingly, smiling lightly when you saw him roll his eyes playfully at your statement.

"oh definitely, going to fully embrace that part of me with some tea," he said, continuing the joke. "but, on another note, how do you think we go about handling where to go next?" he asked, motioning his head twords your bag where the map was held: as luke wasn't trusted with it anymore.

"how about we talk about that when my stomach doesn't feel like it's going shrink and die," you said as a waiter; who was probably in her 80s, headed twords your booth.

𖹭 song from title: meet me in the woods – lord Huron 𖹭

[pankowblues]

pairing: rafe cameron x reader fake dating

summary: fake dating Rafe Cameron and but you two end up falling in love

warnings: kissing ig

word count: 911

a/n: idk i have nothing to say but the dividers ill fix one day i dont like how there so big what are your thoughts on them please share

You and Rafe walk hand in hand inside your kitchen into your kitchen where Rafe’s family and yours is sitting. You and Rafe had to start fake dating for your parents to I guess like you more? You don’t even know why. “You don’t have to kiss… just give me a peck on the cheek” you whisper to him as you guys walk him. He listens and fake smiles to your parents and gives you a little peck. You guys go and sit down in your seats and start eating dinner not really doing anything with each other as you are just eating. Rafe starts to speak “"These kisses are just temporary. We'll separate soon enough." He then kisses you on the lips and you not expecting it. And Lowkey he’s a really really good kisser but then you remember you don’t like him so you stop thinking like that.

The next time you and Rafe have to do this whole couples stuff again and this time it was your dad’s friend engagement party. You and rafe come inside the place where the party is being held not really holding hands. “Can you put on a smile? You look like you're ready to dig your own grave." You tell him "For a matter of fact, l am.” You just scoff and continue walking. The majority of people know you guys are “dating” but you will need to make it believable. You guys take your seat but about 15 minutes in you guys are sooo bored and you guys start making small talk which leads to conversations. Who knew you could relate to Rafe so much.

As the weeks went on you and Rafe surprisingly texted more. And as time went on things like unknowingly holding hands, even when you are not in front of family or friends, getting used to making two servings of everything, Sitting close to each other, and sharing glances across rooms all became habits.

Then the day of your birthday came. You got a ton gifts from everyone. Even Rafe, he got you a Tiffany necklace, jellycat, and some makeup (he had to ask Sarah for help ofc). It’s later at night and you’re at the bar with your all friends from school. Boys and girls so your “boyfriend” was there. Everyone was dancing and you were standing by the bar when Rafe came up to you. "Let's dance, yeah? It's your birthday, they'll be suspicious if we don't." He told you as he held his hand out. You nodded and took it and walked to the floor. Once you got home you texted Rafe you were home since he told you too which was also something he didn’t have to do but still did.

At some point fake smiles turn into genuine ones and both of you wanted to be there for the other one, even though you two aren't even a 'real' couple. You and Rafe walked to the beach with his hand on you back keeping you close. As you two sat down on the sand Rafe looked at you making eye contact. For the first time you looked deep into his eyes and you and him just gazed at each other with so much love in your guys eyes. "Kiss me." He whispers "What? We don't have to pretend right now." "I know, but I need one right now." You kiss for the first time that was meaningful, and genuine. The kiss meant a lot, more than it should have. Where would this put you two now?

This is where things went downhill. He started distancing himself from you because they started to think that there is definitely something wrong with him. You were getting really upset, mad, confused and a lot more feelings. You didn’t know what you did wrong. Then the day came where he finally came to your house with flowers and chocolate and his hair was so messy. Matter of fact he was messy. But he did something you didn’t see coming. He started tearing up and started confessing his love to you.

"Listen I...I love you. I don't know if it's okay to fall in love with your best friend, but I love you. And it's fine, if you don't love me back, because loving you has been the easiest thing I've ever done, and I'd never stop loving you even if you didn't love me back. And I’ve been distancing myself cause I can’t seem to figure out if I really do love you but I know I do I know it" By the time he was finished he had tears down his face and so did you.

You stare at him in awe, tilting your head "You know what? It is okay to love your best friend, because that's what I've done as well. And I would've never knew that you also love me, if you never said it. So let me say this, I love you too. And I understand you don’t know how you felt but you need to learn to talk out your feelings Rafe"

He pulls you in by your waist and slowly kisses you and the tears that run down both of your cheeks while doing so. The kiss showed love, passion, forgiveness. He pulled away putting his forehead on yours. “May you do the honors of being my real girlfriend” he says smiling. “Yes of course” you say giggling.

taglist: @rafecameroncoke, @0xstarzx0, @wearemadeofstardust0, @v4mqvs, @aariahnaa, @congratsloserr

[peachhcs]

catching you up → social media post

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

a few posts from samy, will, and mack after the san jose trip!

all pics are from instagram, pinterest, or tumblr. as u guys know i love doing these kinds of posts, so i decided to compile one about samy's recent trip to san jose and just some recents lately :)

au masterlist

samyhughes lotsss of complaints that will wasn’t in my last post, so i made sure to include him! thanks for having me in sj <3

view all comments

hannahduke my beautiful amazing roommate u look so stunning wow

| samyhughes i love youuu

user1 WOW she’s so stunning omg

user2 WANT that dress

user3 this is so adorable

edwards.73 good stuff hughesy

| samyhughes 😌😌

markestapa ooh how aesthetically pleasing

| samyhughes i really tried this time 🙌

jackhughes sooo like when u coming to nj?? been to the west coast twice now and not to the east coast 😔

| samyhughes dawg u really typed that while i’m sitting right next to u 😒

| jackhughes doesn’t make my comment any less valid tho

lhughes_06 rowdy’s got a point when u coming to nj??!?

| samyhughes when u invite me🤨

user4 i love their relationship it’s so cutie

teddystiga_ …still not enough will. he deserves more than 2 photos 💔

| samyhughes i guess nothing i do is good enough

jameshagens_4 4+4 =8

| samyhughes who taught u that??🤨

| jameshagens_4 myself

mackcelebrini where is my feature?? i spent like 93.4% of the weekend with u

| samyhughes sorry mack🥲

beckettsennecke_ soo good seeing u this weekend!

| samyhughes right back at ya beck :)

_quinnhughes west coast but no visit to van 😕

| samyhughes next time i’ll make pencil u into my schedule

user5 i wanna be her so bad omg

user6 mack and beckett’s comments are so cute aww

ryan.leno_4 justice for will he deserves more photos

| samyhughes so the whole post should just be will ig

michaelhagens_11 run it to boston soon?

| samyhughes omw!

zeevbuium28 @_willsmith2 u pulled fr

| _willsmith2 i totally did😍

kayleighdocherty_ wow so gorg samy!!!

| samyhughes by bae😍😍

gabeperreault44 glad u finally included will this time

| samyhughes glad u approve

aram_minnetian MY MAN MADE THE CUT🙌🙌

| samyhughes won’t make that mistake again

julianne_gelinas soo hot wow wanna be u

| samyhughes i wanna be u actually

drewf2 can u bring us to sj next time?

| samyhughes for sure for sure

rutgermcgroarty yuh san jose!

| samyhughes yuh!

olivianmorriss sooo pretty samy obsessed with u

| samyhughes omg i’m obsessed w u girl

user7 aww the hockey gfs in the comments r so cutie

user8 these genes popped off fr phew

danielle_minnetian HOTTTTTT

| samyhughes 😻😻😻

samanthaminnetian my name twin is so gorg

| samyhughes no ur gorg sam

graceccsmith aww love these samy!

| samyhughes miss u grace🥲

nick_moldenhauer wow good views pic 4

| samyhughes ikrrrr

_willsmith2 loveeeed getting to see u this weekend i wanna do it all over again ❤️

_willsmith2 i already miss u fuck

| samyhughes i miss u sm babe ❤️❤️ wish we could hang out forever

_willsmith2 sj you’ve been really good to me so far

view all comments

gabeperreault44 FIRST AGAIN

gabeperreault44 miss u buddy

gabeperreault44 holy shit pic 4?!

gabeperreault44 this is insane contract posting if it is wow

| _willsmith2 i see ur keeping up with the 4 comments in a row

| _willsmith2 what? just some things that’s been really good recently ☺️

ryan.leno_4 oh my god i don’t have words actually

ryan.leno_4 ur insane for this smitty

| _willsmith2 insane for what?

user1 they are the hottest couple and they know it too

user2 will smith posting more revealing pics of his gf each post was not on my bingo card but i am here for it

user3 he’s so real for this u know hell yeah. he’s gotta make sure everyone knows who’s girl is his😌

user4 honestly i’d take this kind of man over anything else

mackcelebrini WOO featured!!!! also ur so whipped wow

| _willsmith2 wouldn’t ever forget u mack😍

drewf2 i respect it honestly

rutgermcgroarty now THIS is the kind of contract posting i like to see

| _willsmith2 mhmm

zeevbuium28 will i stood up and applauded for u

| _willsmith2 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

jameshagen_4 no one’s commenting about ur last pic abt ur first nhl goals so i will u killed it smitty🙌

| _willsmith2 wow thanks james i appreciate it

michaelhagens_11 good shit

aram_minnetian yupppp and i’d show it off too tbh

danielle_minnetian @samyhughes u won

| julianne_gelinas deadass wow

| samyhughes ☺️☺️

eamonpowell_ congrats on the nhl goals!!!

| _willsmith2 thanks e!!

user5 i loveee seeing everyone comment about something different

user6 whooo trained him this well wow he’s the only hockey bf i know who really loves his gf

jackhughes first of all crazy set of photos second of all congrats on those nhl goals bud

| _willsmith2 thank ya j hughes

lhughes_06 everything we ever talked about went out the window

| _willsmith2 i’m sorry luke🥲

thombordeleau_ ur crazy w-2 but i appreciate the pics

| _willsmith2 always providing

eklund_72 tell me again how one can achieve this?

| _willsmith2 honestly idk just be friends with her for years

fabianzetterlund love ya w2

| _willsmith2 back at ya

tofff73 i already have no words. maybe we need to work on the media training again 🤨

| _willsmith2 apologizes ty😔

samyhughes wow i love you

samyhughes obsessed with everything about you

| _willsmith2 i’m in love with you and obsessed with every part of you too

jacob_fowler24 applauding u smitty

| _willsmith2 thank u fowler 🙏

hannahduke wow she trained u so well omg

| julianne_gelinas i've been sayinggg this how does she do it??

| samanthaminnetian deadass tho like..how did she train him this good??

| samyhughes i wish i had an answer he lowkey does this all on his own..

| hannahduke yeah u totally won then

mackcelebrini sj recents

view all comments

eklund_72 wow i'm honored to be featured on the 1st overall draft pick's instagram

| mackcelebrini ofc eklund

beckettsennecke_ superrr tough celly

| mackcelebrini thanks sennecke

thombordeleau_ yeahhh he bad 🔥

| mackcelebrini 🔥

user1 aww smitty is in all of these pics

user2 the fact that all of these have will in them is adorable they're so baby

fabianzetterlund good times

| mackcelebrini 100%

tofff73 great season so far celly

| mackcelebrini thanks toff means a lot coming from u

gabeperreault44 i think we should unite forces and be samy's competition for will's attention

| mackcelebrini i'm actually so glad u said that bc i 100% agree

| samyhughes HEY

ryan.leno_4 hell yeah celebrini congrats on the season so far

| mackcelebrini thanks leno

lhughes_06 lookng gooddd

| mackcelebrini 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

jackhughes threads are awesome

| mackcelebrini wow what a compliment from THE jack hughes

user3 these friendships are so adorable omg

user4 i keep saying how badly i want to be a part of their friend group

hannahduke so cool macklin celebrini the 1st overall pick of the 2024 draft!

| mackcelebrini thanks hannah duke the younger sister of dylan duke and twin to tyler duke!

| tyler___duke crazy pull

samyhughes wow ur so cool macklin!

| mackcelebrini thanks samy!

rutgermcgroarty @samyhughes u got some competition girl..

| samyhughes i see..

| mackcelebrini yeah take that i get to see will 24/7

_willsmith2 wow so honored to be featured all 3 times

_willsmith2 as much as i love the support my girlfriend is and always will be my #1 but you are a very close 2nd

| mackcelebrini damn that hurts after everything i've done for u...

[joelsprettyprincess]

Someone Like You

Pairing: Dutch Van Der Linde x f!prostitute!reader Summary: A certain client excites desires that you never knew you had. Tags: smut, oral sex, age gap (20s/40s), pet names, daddy kink, slight dd/Ig dynamics, power imbalance, Dutch-typical misogyny, aftercare Wordcount: 3.67k A/N: IT'S DONE!! Once I really get into my groove, I can finish stuff pretty fast, so I wrote this in about 2 days, more or less. Like I mentioned before this is really self-indulgent. To a point. I will go ahead and say I know nothing about prostitution or gentleman's clubs in 1900, so most of the exposition/logistics is kind of just what I pieced together.. Also, Dutch is very much an asshole in this. It takes place like, right after a certain person's death, as you will see. I think it's fitting, though, unfortunately. Also, it took me forever to think of the name. I take it pretty seriously and finally landed on this one (it's a reference to the song!). I like to think it encapsulates the theme of this fic. And YES I added a ball-sucking part and I HAVE NO SHAME. Thank you to @cafekitsune for the divider!! 🙏 Anyway enjoy and MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

The beige wallpaper inside the gentleman’s club was stained, and peeling in some places, exposing the wooden planks underneath. The tiny flowers dotted at even intervals, once a cheery yellow, were now various shades of orange and brown, made even uglier by the light of the oil lamps along the walls. The sag of the paper in several corners matched the downcast mood of the cramped, badly lit lobby.

This was taken in discreetly by Dutch Van Der Linde, yet he made no comment about it. At an establishment such as this one, the real attraction was the people, not the building.

He walked up to the antiquated counter, where an older man with a large, crooked nose and wrinkly skin sat, puffing away at a fat cigar.

“Yes sir,” the man spoke with a small, knowing smile. He blew a cloud of smoke to the side. “Are you interested in a show? Or perhaps a private room with a girl? We’ve lots of lovely young ladies, the best in Lemoyne. Any size, any color, whatever you want. Cheap rates too.”

Dutch usually felt it was beneath him to patronize such a place, but things back at camp had been so upsetting and melancholy lately that he’d been driven to seek out a different type of thrill entirely. Just for one night…

“I’d like to book a room with a girl,” he answered. “And could I make a special request?” 

“‘Course.”

He listed his preferences. “I’d like a cute one. Young, but legal. Perhaps…one that hasn’t been here for long.” 

There was just something special about laying with a woman on the younger side, in Dutch’s opinion. One that wasn’t sullied and jaded by the aches of the world. He liked the zest for life so many of them had— yet, without fail, that enthusiasm eventually faded. It happened with Susan, and it had begun happening with Molly. That was a great tragedy of his life; he could never hold on to that feeling of sunshine— eventually, the rains came.

The man nodded and thought for a bit, taking another drag on his cigar. “I tell you what, sir, we not too long ago got a wonderful girl. She’s very pretty, she’ll lay down and take anything you give her—”

“That’s- that’s fine,” Dutch interrupted, not wanting to stand in this dingy room any longer. “What room?” He shifted, looking at the worn wooden staircase to the left of the room. 

“2C should be open,” the man informed him, gesturing towards the staircase. “That’s the second floor, second room on the right. I’ll collect the girl and she’ll meet you there, yeah?”

“Thanks,” Dutch grunted. After he paid, he ventured up the creaky stairs and found 2C easily. He could hear faint moans coming from some of the other rooms. Pushing open the door, he stepped into a small, simply decorated room with a bed and a couple of chairs with thin beige cushions. He calmly took off his shoes and vest, then sat on the cream-and-red bedspread and waited.

You’d just gotten dressed after a bath when a knock came at your door. The Saint Denis sun had almost completely dipped, and rays of purple were overtaking the yellow and orange sky. You’d been hoping to turn into bed early; it had been a rare day with no clients.

Mr. Gelding called your name just as you opened the door. He was a large, overbearingly friendly man, though to his credit he never crossed the line. He was one of several managers in Landry Gentlemen's Club— they all oversaw the daily events of the club, as well as providing protection and support to the girls. That was a big reason you preferred to work here instead of simply catcalling on the streets; it provided greater job security.

This— providing various services to men— was your line of work. Had been, for the past 6 months. It paid the bills much faster than a regular job, and you were able to squander a little cash every week. Eventually you wanted to get a small place of your own—perhaps in Strawberry— but until then, you would work here.

Prior to this, you had juggled 2 jobs: toiling for a rancher by day, and working as a bargirl by night. After your father had left your mother when you were ten, you’d worked to support the family.

Then your mother, who’d always had a weak immune system, succumbed to a particularly bad fever soon after you’d turned nineteen. The rancher you worked under had at least been understanding and let you stay on the farm with a discounted rent, but even with that discount you struggled to make ends meet. Thus, you’d sought out a more lucrative line of work and started working at the gentleman’s club.

Only the girls who provided direct sexual services to clients actually lived in these quarters. Most of the dancers and performers came and worked, then left for their own homes. After being hired, you’d moved here out of convenience. This particular building was a little offset from the performance area, but still basically next door to it. It was quite small; two stories high, with plain hallways that had several doors on either side leading to the girls’ private rooms.

Your room was simply decorated, just a plain bed with your keepsakes hidden underneath it. The savings you’d earned so far were in a lockbox shoved deep in the closet.

“Missy, don’t turn in just yet,” Mr. Gelding spoke in a jovial voice. “You’ve got a client waiting in 2C.” He leaned against the doorway, smelling of cigar smoke and sweat.

“Oh,” you spoke, silently mourning the free time you’d had. Then again, more clients meant more money.

“He seems pretty wealthy, between you and me,” he added in a lower tone. “Be a good girl for him and he might pay a little extra.” He chuckled, then patted your shoulder.

After Mr. Gelding left, you quickly changed into a simple red dress. You’d noticed that men liked that color a lot, for whatever reason. A quick brush of the hair and of your teeth, and you were ready.

You wasted no time in walking over to the “performance building”. On the right side was where the showgirls and dancers performed, and on the left were the private rooms. You entered on the left side.

Climbing up the creaky staircase, you brushed by Millie, another worker here. She was quite a bit older than you, perhaps 30 or 35. Sometimes you wondered how long she’d been here.

Well, that was not going to be you. This was strictly a temporary job.

Standing in front of 2C, you took a moment to pat down your hair and put on a soft smile. Then you entered the room.

Sitting on the bed was a man in the best sense of the word. You hadn’t known what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t this. He was quite tall and broad, with a dark crop of curls and a large nose, which sat right above a neatly trimmed mustache. He had on a simple white and blue striped button-up and black pants. You could see the vest that he’d taken off and laid on the chair was made of a soft red velvet, with golden chains attached. Oh my. 

“Hello,” he greeted you, smiling a bit. He seemed just a tad nervous. It was clear he was older, maybe in his forties. Was he married?

“Hello sir,” you replied softly, closing the door behind you. You padded over and took off your shoes. “‘S nice to meet you.” You told him your name.

He repeated it, lips curling a bit. “I’m Dutch.”

Even him smiling couldn’t soften the serious look on his face. His brown eyes were rather dark, and his brow was heavy and thick. You felt both anxious and drawn in by them.

“What would you like me to do, Dutch?” you asked, sitting on the bed beside him. You placed your hand on his large, grizzled one with practiced ease.

He cleared his throat. “I-I must apologize, I’ve never hired a prostitute before.”

You smiled. “That’s alright, sir.” Pulling him in closer, you gently pressed your lips against his.

Dutch, seemingly unsure for a moment, hesitated, then returned the kiss. His mustache tickled your nostrils as he softly kissed you.

Your fingers became intertwined with his, and he grew more bold, cupping your face with his free hand and kissing you more earnestly. The cold metal of his rings pressed against your cheek.

Quite rapidly, Dutch took control, pushing you down onto the bed and slipping his tongue into your mouth. You sighed softly, liking how direct he was now. The bedframe creaked quietly with your combined weight.

 Dutch’s tongue explored your mouth for a good while, and his hands traveled from your face to your chest. He gently squeezed your left breast, running a thumb over the fabric protecting your sensitive nipple. Within a minute he had teased them both to stiff peaks, with you mewling quietly underneath him.

Finally, Dutch broke the kiss. You both took a moment to catch your breath and he wiped off his mouth.

His demeanor had changed a lot. Now his face seemed even more serious; his pupils reflected lustful thoughts, and he carried himself more confidently.

“I’d like a blowjob, love,” he requested, sighing. “I need to relax. Will you do that for me?”

You weren’t sure when this shift in dynamic had happened. Perhaps when he’d pushed you onto the bed. Now, you sensed that this was a powerful man, one who was used to getting what he wanted. Suddenly you were craving to satisfy him, to fulfill his hidden desires. 

“Yes, sir,” you whispered.

He’d wasted no time in removing his clothes. You slipped out of your dress and bloomers while Dutch stripped naked as well, putting all his clothes in a neat pile on the chair. Then he got back on the bed, laying down with his legs spread wide enough for you to lay between them. His muscular chest was covered in dark hair, with a nice thick happy trail down to his groin.

As you got in position, you surveyed his cock and your eyes got big. He was very large, with veins running prominently up the shaft to his tip, flushed red and already leaking precum, and down to the thick mess of hair around his base. His balls were nicely rounded and large as well.

His cock was already mostly hard; it was slightly curved, and stuck out so his leaky tip was mere inches away from your lips.

Holding your breath, you grasped his thick cock between your index finger and thumb, gently massaging a small spot on his tip.

Dutch inhaled sharply and threw his head back, running a hand through his shiny black curls.

With one hand, you cupped his balls, and with the other you held his cock at the base and dragged your tongue over his tip. You could feel the muscles of his thighs tightening. He let out a shaky breath.

“That’s a good girl,” he mumbled, eyes closed. “A good fuckin’ girl.”

You continued to lick his tip and shaft and massaged his balls. Your nail very gently grazed the sensitive skin.

Dutch’s hand shot down and he roughly stroked your hair, sighing. “That feels so good, sweetheart, keep going.”

The rhythmic hair stroking felt good. You laid your head on his thigh and sucked on just the tip, slobbering over it good and slowly pumping your hand up and down.

“Yes, babygirl, that’s good,” he moaned. “You know just what daddy likes. So good. So good.”

Dutch’s praise made you feel warm and fuzzy inside, like he was really truly proud of you. No one had been proud of you in a long time.

You doubled your efforts and took more of his cock in your mouth. You swirled your tongue around, putting plenty of spit on his throbbing cock.

Drool was dribbling out the sides of your mouth and oozing down Dutch’s shaft. Removing your mouth from his cock with a small pop, you instead took one of his balls in your mouth.

Dutch groaned loudly, pulling at your hair just a bit. “Oh-ho, you filthy girl…”

You sucked on his balls, switching between them and continuously jerking him off with your hand.

“Oh, honey, this is just what I needed. A good tight cocksleeve to blow me…” He moaned and spread his legs a bit more.

You rapidly swept your tongue across them, back and forth, till Dutch's legs came together and squeezed the sides of your face. You let go of his balls, now drenched in spit, and slurped up his cock again. You couldn’t get enough. It almost had a taste to it, sort of masculine and heavy. Whatever it was, you were addicted. As you coaxed about three quarters of Dutch’s shaft down your throat, you looked up at him in admiration. His eyes were still tightly closed, and the outline of a vein had appeared on his forehead. 

Deepthroating this older man’s cock had set a fire in you that you didn’t know existed. You wanted him to keep calling you a good girl. His good girl.

Suddenly he opened his eyes and you made direct eye contact. You ducked your head down, embarrassed at your no doubt obvious display of affection.

Dutch smirked. “S’okay, honey, nothing to be ashamed of. You’re obsessed with daddy’s cock, huh?”

You nodded sheepishly.

He stroked your face. “You need a daddy to take care of you, love you?” he asked in a husky voice.

Your face burned. He’d seen right through you. Was it that obvious that you were starved of affection? You nodded, again, still sucking lewdly on his cock.

He chuckled. “Oh, I know. I know, sweetheart. So many girls like you, laying down for any excuse of a father figure they can find. S’not your fault.”

When did this become so…real?

“You want that?” Dutch asked, squeezing your ass. “You want me to protect you, teach you right from wrong, make every decision for you?” His voice softened. “Want daddy to take the hurt away?”

His cock slipped out of your mouth and you stared at him, heart pounding so fast you thought your chest would burst into a million butterflies. “Yes,” you whined in a tiny voice that you didn't recognize. “I-I want to be your special girl…”

What is going on? 

He pushed your head back onto his throbbing cock. “Don’t think about anything anymore,” he said in a low voice. “Not your job, not your future, not even what to eat. Daddy’ll do it for you. The only thing that should be in your brain is being a good cocksleeve for daddy.”

You were struggling to remember what had led up to this moment. You faintly remembered being obligated to do this, for payment, but…

Wordlessly, you nodded. Whatever happened in the past didn’t seem that important compared to being an obedient girl for Dutch. He felt warm, and comforting, like a dependable authority figure. You clung to him desperately.

Dutch shifted positions so he was laying on his side. You laid down with him with your head on the blanket.

He held your head in place and pistoned his hips, shoving his cock in and out of your drooling mouth.

“Damn— I’m close, honey, daddy’s close. You’re going to swallow every drop, you hear me?” Dutch growled, pulling your hair so tightly you whined in pain.

You tried to nod but he was fucking your face so violently that all you could do was take it, and try not to pass out. Every thrust made you gag.

It was unclear how long he fucked your face for. You did know that you were drooling freely, all over his cock and the blanket. And that his cock was twitching in your mouth, signaling the load you knew was coming.

‘Fuck— fuck-” Dutch grunted, using your face as if it was nothing more than an inanimate object, sparing no thought on how you felt.

But how you felt was indescribable. It felt like you were finally healing some part of you that died when your father had left, years ago. You weren’t sure if this was roleplay or real life and you didn’t know if you cared, you just wanted to be his girl. Dutch’s girl. 

Finally, he slowed, pushing in a couple more times, then held your hair tightly and let out fractured groans as his cock let out thick, warm splurts of cum down your throat. He fucked your throat with tiny thrusts, emptying his balls and rapidly filling up your mouth.

After a brief pause Dutch pulled out of your mouth, smearing the leftover cum on your cheek. He was breathing heavily and wiped off his sweaty forehead.

Your cheeks bulged with his load, and it took you several gulps to down it all. Then you opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue for him to see that you had swallowed it all.

He inspected it, putting a thumb in your mouth, then patted you on the head. “That’s my good girl.”

Dutch wanted to cuddle afterwards.

He insisted on cleaning you up and wiped up your face with a damp rag. After that he removed the stained bedspread, then pulled you up to lay in his arms. The two of you sat there for a while, you with your eyes half closed and Dutch tracing circles on your knuckles.

You could hear his soft breaths, and feel the rise and fall of his chest. If you never moved again, just stayed stuck in this position for all eternity, you would be happy, you think.

After a few minutes of silence, he spoke. “I wish I could have someone like you at home.”

“Are you married?” you asked curiously. You always felt vaguely bad about sleeping with married men.

He sighed. “Well- no. I never was. But I had a woman…not long ago.”

Was this a sensitive subject for him? “D-Did she, err…”

“She betrayed me,” Dutch said in a low growl. “Took everything we had together, and fuckin’ destroyed it.”

“Oh,” you said wondrously, not quite understanding what he meant. Did he mean she cheated?

He stroked your hair. “I came here because my whole…ahem, family…has been in shambles lately…no one respects authority anymore. No one appreciates the work I put in.”

How could anyone not respect this reverential figure? “How could they do that to you?” you wondered.

“I wish I knew, sweetheart. If only everyone was as obedient as you..” Dutch pressed a kiss to your temple.

You sighed softly. What insane woman had squandered her relationship with him? He was so polite, so serious, so warm. 

She probably just couldn’t handle his intensity.

The two of you relaxed for a few more serene minutes, then Dutch sighed. “I should probably get goin’, honey. As ungrateful as my acquaintances are, they’d be nothing without me. Nothing.” 

Despite his words, he didn’t move. His hand squeezed yours and he furrowed his brow. “I just can’t win. They say I’m too harsh, too controlling. But that’s what it takes to survive! Every fuckin’ day, I put my own needs aside for them. And not one of those…those people appreciates it.”

“That sounds awful,” you agreed. “It sounds like you do so much for them, but no one notices.” You knew that feeling well.

“You’re damn right they don’t,” Dutch grunted. “I don’t even know why I try sometimes.”

“Well…I appreciate you,” you told him shyly.

Dutch smiled. “Thank you, sweetheart. I might have to come back to see you again.” He planted a final parting kiss on your mouth, squeezed your ass again, then rose and got dressed.

You sat on the bed and watched him, already missing his warm body. Dutch’s words about his family seemed harsh, but then it was a cruel world. It made sense to be a little cruel in return. 

After he redressed himself, Dutch came over. “Here’s a little extra, baby. For letting a tired man rant.” He pressed a few bills into your hand.

“Th-thank you,” you squeaked, very pleased. 

“Take care,” he said, and exited the room, shutting the door behind him.

Once he left, you flopped back down, exhilarated and anxious. What in the world just happened? Did he mean anything he said? Was it just a kink he’d wanted to try out?

Your underwear was soaked through; they had been, for some time. Whether or not he’d meant them, Dutch’s words had affected you greatly. And now you were feeling the loss, a great grief that had cracked your heart open, and despair was pouring out. 

Already, you wanted to see him again, to learn everything about him. The concept of letting that man make every decision in your life and simply existing as his pet…well, that turned you on more than you cared to admit. You’d been independent for most of your life, and didn’t you deserve something for it? Didn’t you deserve a strong, handsome man to shield you from the horrors of the world?

You’d forgotten to ask him about his occupation. Perhaps he was the head of a railway company, or a well-respected professor. With that demeanor and elocution, he had to be in some prestigious position. 

I’ll ask next time, you decided.

After arriving back at your private room, you laid down and finished what had started between your legs. As you desperately rubbed yourself to orgasm, you imagined Dutch’s deep, rich voice growling in your ear, and your pussy being stretched to its limits by his thick cock. Very quickly, you came, gasping softly.

Dutch had said he’d be back. You would wait, with bated breath, till that day. Perhaps if you were a good enough girl for him, he’d take you with him. Stranger things had happened. Powerful men married their mistresses all the time. 

These dreams would keep you afloat until the next time you saw him. 

[stupidlittlespirit]

i've seen the "he'd never date a woman" thing with ford so much, which i think about a lot. like it's one thing to just headcanon him as gay but there are a lot of posts where internalized or blatant misogyny shine bright. one i saw straight up had multiple people going "he respects women too much to want to date/fuck them" like hello? do you realize what you are implying ab real women when you say that?

i'm not great at articulating my thoughts but i think it's especially prominent with ford because of his intelligence + unconventional demeanor. he's off-putting and a genius and didn't want to give up his work to settle down into a standard marriage with kids. women can't be weird or smart in the same way men can for example and all women want the typical white picket fence nuclear family american dream. therefore you are off your gourd if you think he'd ever want to be with a woman. so there’s that on top of the already rampant misogyny present in fandom spaces with shipping especially.

there's also the whole "gibe the oracle your phone number" / "i miss dimension 52" that could have some implications if you want but ig i can't blame people for forgetting jeselbraum because hirsch barely expands on her LOL. but basically it’s all up to interpretation and it really isn’t all that wild to think he could be attracted to women.

personally i just enjoy projecting my own sexuality onto him. “what gender are you attracted to?” don’t care. can i show you my isopod colonies. “how would you describe your sexual attraction?” uhhhhhhhhhhh (<- is probably demisexual)

So, I deleted my post because I felt like I was rehashing points I'd previously made a million times before, but I stand by it.

I want to address what you said and then I want to kind of go on a tangent (shocker, I know) about the interpretation of GF at large because I've been engaging with a lot of Lynch stuff recently, who we know was by and large the most influential person for Hirsch, and one of the biggest things around Lynch's work is the beauty of subjectiveness. I think Hirsch carries that legacy with him at the heart of his work.

So yeah, the comments about Ford 'respecting women too much' is insane. If anyone thinks that they are probably the kind of person who doesn't respect a woman anyway. If your hands sully the one you touch, perhaps your hands were not so clean to begin with, yknow? That's the vibe I always get with those kinds of comments.

Society approaches women so differently from men in this regard, as you said. Where a man is 'quirky' and 'cool', a woman is 'annoying' or 'trying too hard'. She suffers for her differences where as he profits for them. She can only commit the crime of being Cringe, and in my experience, people will forgive many things but never that.

There is certainly merit in the way in which a lot of people recognise that Ford is partial to things that are 'weird' or that are shunned by society, especially because of his hands, and that plays well into Queer culture. It's a feeling most of us (if not all of us) experience. So I can see where there connection comes and it's totally cool to hold that belief. Queer is BIG umbrella and I think he falls under it myself, what with the ace/aro stuff. We're given much more canon evidence of him being ace/aro, in fact, than of anything else. I maintain personally that canon Ford is asexual and aromantic, and that romance doesn't factor into his life in the way it does for 'normal' people. It's why when Bill mentions that quiz Ford does in his dreams in TBoB it makes me think of my own struggles with asexuality: "I'm not normal, everyone else is feeling this type of way and I'm feeling that type of way. There's something wrong with me. I'm weird. I need answers." It feels very much like Ford is attempting to understand that side of himself and is very afraid of the answer.

The Oracle stuff makes me so sad it was never expanded on more. I really love Jheselbraum and it felt like she was one of the first people that Ford met who was of higher intelligence than him, and who actually did just want to help. She extended an extreme kindness to him. Whether it was more than that doesn't even really matter. There was still a relationship formed there that can't be discounted. But again, it can be interpreted in lots of different ways.

This is the other thing. There's nothing wrong with projecting yourself onto your favourite character. We all do it. I do it. It's fun and it brings comfort. And that's okay! But that means we can all do it. So it's unfair for someone else to say "you're wrong for thinking XYZ about Ford" because we're all just kids in a sandbox playing house with these characters. You can't gatekeep someone else's enjoyment.

You can believe Ford is gay. You can believe Ford is ace. You can believe Ford is whatever you want him to be, but what you can't do is then rescind that privilege from someone else just because you don't like it or because it makes you feel better about yourself to punch down on someone else. People are entitled to their own interpretations of media, even if they make you feel uncomfortable or whatever.

Which brings us onto Lynch. Now, I'm not a huge surrealist fan, I like Lynch most for the person that he was (ugh I'm still so sad to type that). One of the biggest things about him was that he valued the intelligence of his audience and respected them enough to allow them the space to interpret his works as they saw fit. He never wanted to define his films in a way that would prevent another person from taking their own meaning from it. There was no definition, only feeling.

There's a clip of him being asked to expand on his meaning for one of his films, I forget which one, and he just replies "no". It's so fucking good because that, to me, is art. It is fundamentally subjective in its existence and the way I view something is not going to be the way someone else does, so why take that interpretation away from one to give to another just for their approval? We may align in thoughts but the way we process the media is going to be entirely different. Why? Because we're different people. Our experiences throughout our lives have informed the way we interact with things.

I think Alex Hirsch enjoys other people making their own interpretations of his work in a similar way. Just as Lynch does. Hirsch wants you, the audience, to derive personal meaning. He doesn't need (or even want) to tell you how to engage with the themes because why would he? It would only make him work harder to get a simpler point across and it would risk alienating parts of his audience. He wants the audience to connect and to find their own familiarities, and he respects his audience enough to give them the space to let them do that. He's often evasive when he's asked to tie things down firmly. To be honest, I think he should be braver in just saying "no, I don't want to answer that" sometimes. You can tell he wants to but he also wants to engage with people so it can be hard.

People are very desperate to want to have answers in black and white. They need things to be canon in order to feel vindicated, when in actual fact, an idea is just as legitimate when it comes to fiction. Fiction IS an idea. It isn't tangible and therefore cannot be quantified, so it can be interpreted however.

Anyway, by forcing your interpretation of the work onto others (ie. 'Ford would never', 'Stan would never' etc), I think you fundamentally misunderstand what the purpose of the work is. You're taking away the light of other people because you're scared yours doesn't shine bright enough. And you're scared because other people previously took your light away, but all you're doing is repeating the cycle and taking away from the rest of us.

Your ideas can coexist with others. No one is right and in that, everyone is right. Does that make sense? Idk.

I voice my opinions of disliking certain ways the fandom engages with elements of the show, but I don't think they have less right to have those ideas than I do to have my own. I interpret Bill as one way and someone else will interpret him another. That's okay. You're allowed to do that. But I don't think you're allowed to be actively vicious to others over it.

Engage with honesty and recognise that other people enjoys things in different ways, and it's okay not to control the narrative of that sometimes.

I have my criticisms of Hirsch but I also have a lot of love for the guy, and one of the biggest things I respect about him is him allowing us to draw our own beliefs. Do I think he could stand to do some things better? Yes. But that doesn't mean I don't love what I already have from his work.

I'm not sure if this makes sense, I'm having a bit of a Day, but I hope it at least reads well enough to convey my meaning.

[ci0zi0]

Ok.

I will ramble my thoughts on Beast Yeast ep 8 now.

♣︎ Ahem ♧

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OH MY GOD????

AGH.. Obviously SM wasn't going to be redeemed, that's clear.. he'll be needed for Dark Enchantress plans and other Beast related stuff for the story...

BUT??!?!?!?

IS HE AND VANILLA??... 🏳️‍🌈???????

Pure Vanilla friend zoned that dude BAD.

UGHHHHHHHHHH

The SPRITES. I took so many screenshots of the sprites.

TRUTHLESS RECLUSE MY BELOVED AGHHHHHH

MY GODDDDDD!!!!!!

I love seeing him expressing himself so much my goodness gracious.

What I love the most is the angry sprite because of course I do. It's so. Good.

The flower eyes all opened up?? The messy hair?? TR's eyes glowing BLUE??...

the eyes part drove me mad.. he's looking like Shadow Milk with the eye slits.

The pond part where Pure Vanilla either floated or sank also was like agh.. drown or accept your fate, and he rose up. YET HE STILL HANG ON !!!!!!!

Pure Vanilla I love you.

And agaggghagahhh

Truthless Recluse my god. Dude. Shadow Milk seriously was driving him to the edge...

To the point he's laughing and wanted to give up !!!

I love seeing a more twisted side of such a wholesome character before the flashbang ♡♡♡

More sprites, this time Shadow Milk!!

Ahem.. 🏳️‍🌈????

That second sprite there is BLUSHING. DUDE YOU ARENT SLICK AT ALL. YOUR PUPILS MIGHT AS WELL BE DILATING !!! THEY PRACTICALLY ARE !!

What is WRONG with him

Yeah yeah, the soul jam.. but cmon. SM was into into PV.

The gay kind of into.

And the 3rd sprite is just.. pretty...

I love when SM's hair actually hairs. And.. milks ig. Like liquid sense.

This part also drove me wild

2 Soul Jams of Deceit.

Pure Vanilla lying outta his ass to trick Shadow Milk

Shadow Milk meanwhile going "omg i get a boyfriend"

Look, I haven't really shipped Shadowvanilla... I just love their dynamic..

But now the ship is making alot more sense. Shadow Milk is DOWN BAD.

He deserved to get friend zoned imo.

Also say hello to my favorite Shadow Milk Cookie sprite

Everytime this sprite appeared on screen I couldn't help but laugh my ass off.

He just looks so in shock and angy.

"what"

DUMMY...

And well

I wish this lasted another episode.

Imagine the au potential.

Where Pure Vanilla actually gave in and became the second Soul Jam of deceit.

With THIS covering the skies????

Majestic. UGHHHH I JUST RLLY LIKE PV AND SM DYNAMIC..

Two souls, both connected and being the only ones to understand the other.....

Almost as if they were made for each other.

This game makes me go crazy man.

[palebyulsoo]

Rating TF2 mercenaries if they can vogue {aka "can they serve 💅❤️✨?"}

I was gonna put this in my writing blog since I do want to get back into writing but fuck it, WE BALL 👹💥💥‼️This is a stupid thought that's been poking my mind so it's not for seriousness but mostly shits and giggles 😭 I'll be rating from least to best and giving my little explanations.

{Note : This is MYYYYY opinion. I'm still slowly catching up on the TF2 comics so if there's a few things I may get wrong, that's my bad. 😭 I'm in no way a professional in vogue dancing so I'm just going off from what I know in some bits of dancing- Oh and small spoilers ig? Specifically in Snipers, Medic {it's only a photo in a panel of sorts but just making sureee} and Scouts section mayhaps.}

9. 💥Heavy💥

-I'm sorry, I really do love him but Heavy CANNOT vogue. His ass is NOT doing the death drop. 😭

-Ok I'll give him one little bonus point since the kazotsky kick kinda counts in terms of supporting form, I think he'd be able to do at least a duck walk or smth.

-But honestly? With his form in a ballroom?? Idk about that 💀 AGAIN I LOVE HEAVY BUT HE'S N O T SERVING. HE'S GONNA SHAKE THE BALLROOM.

-Unless maybe he practices on voguing moves or smth idk. 4/10

8. 🔧Engineer🔧

-Ehhh..... Not really serving.

-I don't see Engie as the type to vogue, maybe he can do some hand movements here and there {A bit janky too-} or some dances too but voguing? Death drop? Nope. 🧍

-I definitely think that robot hand he has is heavy or smth, there's noooo way the gunslinger is light at all 😭 and with how he works on machines and stuff? Yeah, idk if his form can support in voguing. 🚶‍➡️

-But like I said! Although janky, he could definitely do waacking with his hands if he practiced. And honestly? Waacking with the gunslinger would actually go hard ngl. 4.5/10

7. 🔥Pyro🔥

-Sort of...? Not really?? I don't know what to say with Pyro. :'))

-Like I can kinda see Pyro voguing but at the same time not really. It's like with Engie where I can see them definitely do waacking or maybe a few more moves.

-But you know what, I'll give Pyro a bonus point because it would be cute to see them do waacking or a vogue dance like okkkkk burn the base down with your moves 😫💅‼️

-While I can't fully picture it, I know Pyro can definitely serve and do a dip. 5/10

6. 🦘Sniper🦘

-Originally, I was gonna put Soldier in 6th but then I thought about it.... And changed their rankings 😔 {pls pLS PLS DON'T SNIPE ME AND HEAR ME OUT-}

-I adore Mick sm and he's just so sudxudjdjdj but I gotta put my bias down for a moment. I knowwww I said I'm slowly catching up with the comics but because I joined in late, I actually stumbled upon spoilers by accident 😔😔😔 {Why does this keep HAPPENING TO ME-}

-But I'm gonna let it slide and give bonus points. Why? While I know that Australians in tf2 lore are well, stronk with strength, I don't think they would focus on dance activities or anything when it comes to being stronk.

-And while Mick may not be physically active with his lanky form, I just KNOW he would definitely kill with his moves. Just teach him the catwalk or something and boom, he's serving. 5.7/10

5. 🦅Soldier🦅

-Oh he's serving alright!....By that, I mean "serving 🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅💥💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️", not "serving 💃💅💕✨".

-Listen, when it comes to Soldier, I don't think he wants to vogue and will definitely believe that voguing is for women {classic toxic masculinity-} and the only thing that will actually be close to serving in tf2 is killbinding {and ykw? in my view, the killbinding counts as a death drop if you time it correctly and can be a serve so it honestly applies to the mercenaries too-}

-BUT ☝️🗣️ I like to believe that when he's persuaded or smth, he definitely serves CUNT in CUNTRY. He pulling all the moves, the waacking is waacking, the catwalk being so FIERCE, and the dip bringing the base down!

-He'd definitely be the type to perfect his dances kinda. That's why sometimes this video just reminds me of him, "SCOUT. RUN THE ROUTE AGAIN! DAMMIT! IT'S C U N T-" 7/10

4. 💣Demoman💣

-Oh my fuck Demo would so SLAY THE BASE DOWN. He's only in 4th because of his alcoholism. 😭

-LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN HIS KAZOTSKY KICK TAUNT???????? HIM DANCING WITH BOTH LEGS AND ARMS??????? THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE HARDEST SHIT I'VE SEEEEEN BUT OMG HE DOES IT SO WELL 😫💕💕💕‼️

-Voguing, whether alcohol or not, THAT SCOTTISH MAN CAN SERVE AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME OTHERWISE. Tavish got that form and body support, aughhhh I bet he can pull even the most difficult ass vogue moves.

-Put on "here comes the hurricane legendary katrina" and I just know Tavish? WILL BE CATWALKING AND DEATH DROPPING SO HARD AUGHHJHSHDDG 8/10 {Just rereading my section for Demo really made it clear that I love him so bad actually aaahshdhxhd}

3. 💉Medic💉

-Shout out to that tiktok video of "'Medic my man' ur man is gay" that started this stupid brainrot of ranking and rating mercenaries on vogue btw. {I LITERALLY HAVE THE VIDEO SAVED BUT TUMBLR WON'T LET ME POST IT NOOOOO-}

-Have you seen Medic? Have you seen h i M?? LOOK ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND TELL ME HE CANNOT SERVE.

1. Scout

-I just know Medic is pulling all the N A S T I E S T death drops oh my ggaaawwhddjdx. He would be so precise with waacking and catwalking, it's not even a joke no more. 😭

-Like even with his fit and stuff, he would still know how dance with no problems. He's serving in medical AND military field! 9/10

2. Spy

-This is my bias peaking but hear me out hEAR ME OUT PLSPPSPLSPLSPLS 😭😭☹️☹️☹️😭☹️😭☹️😭

-Spy definitely knows how to dance, especially waltz and tango, but y'know what I bELIEVE IN SPY SERVING CUNT ENERGY! THAT MAN KNOWS HOW TO BALLROOM VOGUE 😫💥💥💥💥💥💥

-Not only does he serve the floor, HE KNOWS HOW TO DRESS THE PART. Listen, Spy? In that one dress???? The black and blue/gold and white????? AHHHHHH HE WOULD SO DANCE IN THAT FIT OH MY GOD {Can you tell I'm obsessed with the idea of Spy in both suits and dresses? I'm legit a sucker for suits and dresses augh.}

-I know I keep bringing up the kazotsky kick taunts as an example for each Merc {because the kazotsky kick focuses on leg form and core strength, which is the same thing for vogue dances-} but have yOU SEEN HIS LEGS??? THEY'RE SO LONG. THAT MAN COULD EVEN STRUT HIS SHIT AND BE A MODEL‼️10/10

-'SCOUT? S C O U T?? WDYM S C O-" Shhhhh hear me out PLEASE P L E A S E, HE CAN SERVE CUNT LIKE HIS DAD I SWEAR 😭😭😭😭😭😭

-His break dance taunt? Him dancing in general?? He's GOT to be flexible as fuck and know some good moves, he got his legs and speed from SPY. S P Y. LONG ASS LEGS.

-But in all seriousness though, I like to think he got his moves from not just Spy but also his ma too. Mostly comes from a small headcanon of mine where Scout's ma knows a lil bit of go go dancing and maybe when Spy wasn't in the picture, his ma taught Scout a few moves. :3

-He got that groove from both his ma AND dad, so Scout knowing how to catwalk? Waacking? DO A DEATH DROP?? OOOOOOH HE KILLIN EM AHHHH. 10/10

{Note : oh mygodddsjx I'm finished fINALLY- anyways, like I said before- This is mostly my opinion and I made this out of shits and giggles, so it's not serious 😭 I might change it up one day though if I doooo change my mind. Anyways, thanks for reading ig 💀💀💀}