#the Dutch TM

[applesauce42069]

What’s wrong with cancer Jews huh?!? My Saba has chronic leukaemia and he walks so slowly he couldn’t hurt a fly.

[fofi42]

The Dutch oven

Taskmaster s18e09 SPOILERS

[smply-sktchng]

tori summer

[chaosinstigator]

ngl… my excitement for this weekend literally vanished last night

[formshaper]

❛  you’re  drunk  and  you’re  talking  too  much .  ❜ / from hosea for dutch

"No, no, listen," Dutch insists, swaying a little as he leans in too close to talk. "Evelyn Miller, he--he is one of the greats, I mean it. His works may not be, be, popular among the--among the masses, yet, but they will be. This country's gonna change because of him. 'The real America can only be found not in desires but in the purity of its landscape.' His way with words!"

Unfortunately for Hosea, the rambling does not stop there. Dutch continues a while, quoting this and that--praising Miller's dedication to equality and liberty, his work with indigenous tribes, his distaste for America's attempts to imitate Europe. He talks about everything, and also not much of anything.

Half of it is, of course, incomprehensible. A manic, drunken Dutch is not a particularly easy one to understand even if the subject matter were of any interest to his listener.

He stops (finally). Squints at Hosea. Tries not to sway in his seat so much, feeling the full force of the liquor he's been downing all evening.

"... I'm makin' a fool of myself, ain't I." He snorts, thunking his forehead into Hosea's shoulder, nearly knocking them both off of their stools. "Okay. Okay. C'mon, let's... go home... your Bessie's gonna wonder what trouble I've dragged you into..."

[dvarapala]

@jmaas13: follows me me: immediately flashes back to yesterday when i told my cousin "wow, so people show up to watch dudes chase a ball across the field for sixty minutes" my cousin, immediately: "90 minutes."

[cantofworms]

the most tumultuous question a girl can ask herself is if she should get some layers put in for summer

[void-tiger]

Tiger’s Christmas Movies Watch List

Childhood Nostalgia:

Charlie Brown Christmas

Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer

Frosty the Showman

Year Without a Santa Claus

Veggietales’ The Toy Who Saved Christmas (but specifically the version that aired as a TV Christmas Special, not the Direct to Video. One has Poor Bob trying to keep the Network invested while Shenanigans Ensue. Idk why they didn’t put the rest of that with the Direct to Video version but I digress.)

Old Classics:

A Christmas Carol (that old black&white one)

Miracle on 34th Street

White Christmas

Misc or Has the Same Appeal As Those Aersol Cans Of EZ Cheez:

The Santa Clause series

Christmas Carol with Patrick Stewart

Jingle Jangle

Current Favorites:

Muppets’ Christmas Carol

Klaus

Polar Express

The Holiday Calendar (edit: found it!!)

Knight Before Christmas

Holiday in the Wild

…Also yes the irony of having a few christmas romcoms on here when I typically don’t like romcoms as a general rule it’s easier than saying I Have These Squicks and Okay This Is Fine, Specifically (and loathe the Halmark Christmas Romcom TM especially), but in all fairness these:

1) don’t have that Godawful Nowhere’s Ville + Love Triangle (and cheating on the existing boyfriend/fiance who they often give an Asshole Personality to make the later cheating seem less shitty except…Lumberjack TM is also a jerk…), and

2) are often incredibly self-aware that they’re a Christmas Romcom TM and commit to the bit or go Nah and do their own thing.

I can respect that. (But also, the complete over-saturation of christmas romcoms into the christmas genre. Watching then is kinda inevitable.)

[still-in-a-party-hat]

speaking multiple languages not perfectly is so fucking weird man like i’ve been living in italy and speaking only italian for two months now but i listen to ONE french video for two minutes and suddenly im ordering coffee in french and i don’t remember my name

[rain-after-thunder]

How… do you know that?

Attention!! Anyone who identifies with acespec and/or arospec I need your advice once again.

I know “love is love” as quote to represent the queer community can be a bit icky for you(completely understandable)but what quote would you like to hear or see that would make you feel safe and validated.

I’m asking because I want to put said quote in my bio and just say/type in support.

Acephobes/terfs/bigots will get their kneecaps snatched.

I didn’t have enough space left in the tags but happy pride!!

Free Palestine 🇵🇸

Liberation for all.

Have the day you deserve.

[byebyassociation]

Analysis explaining why Daan can be inferred as a survivor of sexual violence, particularly in childhood through the Bunnymasks.

Text version below cut

“But it’s never stated Daan is a csa survivor”

Daan’s parents raised him in the Bunnymask sect of Sylvian’s cult. This sect is one of the few religious communions we’ve seen ingame.

It’s a massive orgy.

His parents traveled around to attend these orgies and neglected Daan

“Since you were a toddler, you had been travelling around the Europa with your parents. Your parents were devout followers of the older god of fertility and creation, Sylvian. Because of the nature of Sylvian's cult, in each new town you'd witness your parents putting on their rabbit masks and heading to the meadows naked with all the other cult members. You hated this life. Your parents would be more concerned on the matters of religion than you.” 

Which would be the end of it if not for this line

“To make it worse, they even tried to pass on the healing gift of Sylvian to you.”

Daan does not learn healing whispers at this point in time. He does not learn loving whispers either. Both are spells which restore the body’s health. He doesn’t learn anything from this, in fact. This is not something that can be used in a playthrough nor even further elaborated on in flavor dialogue.

In the original Fear and Hunger when you encounter the Bunnymask cult you are able to join in their activities. This gives your party a full mind and body heal. Unfortunately this is likely what Daan learned in his youth.

Daan was sexually trafficked through his faith while under the age of 13.

“You were 13 years of age and alone in the Kingdom of Rondon. You had to do something for living...”

Pickpocket Route

“You weren't cut out to be a street thug, so you had to rely on the only skills you had for the money... The healing gift of Sylvian. You ended up starting a street praction of medical care where you'd heal people of all social classes. You soon became surprisingly adept with the healing gift of Sylvian.”

And sadly escaped this sex cult by further being exploited through underage sex work, here is where he learned formal Sylvian spells

“You learned Healing Whispers and your affinity with Sylvian grew!”

Honest Work Route

“A butler of a local aristocrat took you under his wing as an apprentice. You started working for the Baron Eihner Von Dutch.”

Or offering sexual knowledge to an older man in exchange for an education, a deal called a ‘proposition’ by an older Daan.

“He taught you about the modern medical practices in exchange for your knowledge on the older god Sylvian.”

Note: Eihner being a predator of some kind is a heavily contentious theory as it hinges on his behavior as a sulfer cultist. However it is pretty fucking weird tm to be having a kid talk about sylvian, goddess of fertility, sex and lust in exchange for some sort of education

This is not all, just the instances and implications that immediately come to mind.

[letomills]

A hair for PU-EU, 3t2 Dutch Braid. Conversion from TS3 by Amaryll; I edited the TF & CF meshes (see under the cut) and did the FtM conversion. Polycount: 3.5k.

For best optimization, choose only one version. Download for F sims only: SFS / Mega Download for M sims only: SFS / Mega Download for F&M: SFS / Mega

They come in 12 Pooklet-Digi-Io colors (see palette), I used this retexture by @serabiet as a base. All recolors are binned and familied except for Naberius which will be in the custom bin. I use Grenade both as a blond for toddlers-adults and as a grey for elders - if you don't want Grenade for elders, just delete the file that ends with "_grenade_EUgrey".

More previews & creator resources below.

AF (shown in Caim) ↓

~

Mesh edits

Lowered both TF & CU, moved the front strands on CF to accomodate wider brows. Still compatible with existing recolors.

TF ↓

CF ↓

~

FtM conversion

AM (shown in Landmine) ↓

TM (shown in Sorath) ↓

Here's the combined mesh file + unbinned F&M volatiles for recolorists: SFS / Mega

[esteemed-excellency]

THE NAME IS KILLING ME TOO!! "van der" being dutch mixed with "caligari-mastroiani" being italian(?) Really just feels like its trying to sound European TM so hard askdjfg

average koloman republic team

[ahotpileofs-it]

I have a shit ton of ideas for tanaka cause hes my favorite hamster in funger

Tbh these ideas kinda give him the plot armour funger never gave for our shonen anime protagonist so if you don't like that, feel free to scroll past

What would Tanaka be like as a playable character?

Here are my ideas:

Since he is a latent soul, he can get the skill trees of others without killing them (of course it will take longer to obtain them rather than killing them, though).

This mechanic will basically be asking others to teach you how to do their stuff TM

So because of this there will be a 'friendship' system for Tanaka. (Canonically, Tanaka won't see this as friendship, tough guy since four and all,... but my fanon heart says that yes he will. I will force Tanaka to be emotionally vulnerable for my fanon heart, and I say this as a threat.)

Some characters are more unwilling to share their skills with Tanaka, depends on persuasion and first impressions (based on what dialogue you choose and how good you are at observe).

I think a special case would be Daän as I theorize that Tanaka asking for his knowledge and skills would remind his relationship of himself and Eihner Von Dutch... probably if you play as Tanaka on a run he would be the first person willing to bring him under his wing, so to speak.

You can probably gain multiple skills from others at once, but for characters that we know do not like each other, if they do realize that Tanaka is also mentored by the guy they don't like, they'll stop teaching him and his persuasion won't work as well on them. Also 'friendship' decreases with them. Sometimes both characters pull out which would be a great loss. (Like anyone with pav, karin with the magicians and daan, if you attempt to learn from caligura in front of any contestant, etc.)

Really big point here: we know that Tanaka is unprepared for the Termina festival, thus being the weakest contestants in the beginning. You'll have the most opportunities for death playing as his character, especially so on harder modes, and that can easily end your run.

Also why Tanaka is the hardest character to play as, because you need to stay alive (which WILL be hard, as both mind, body, and hp are significantly lower. Remember, unprepared hamster not ready for the fears of the jungle) for long enough to be able to start learning from others (would think that this studying starts at day 2, or day 1, which if I remember are the days with the most amount of events that Tanaka could die).

I would like to think that him learning from Marcoh would always be canon, even in any multiverse. He really needs the hp boost.

As you learn more and more, these can be things that naturally give Tanaka increase in body, mind, hp, and any other stats. You can still get these stats from items though.

Because Tanaka never experienced something like termina before, his mind stat is irreversibly capped less higher than other contestants. I think that could be a great way for the game to signify that Tanaka is really traumatized by these events. And also went a bit mad for his late meeting lol.

I really think we should bring back "handsome rugged looks" skill for Tanaka. It would be really funny if he were to be the only contestant that could seduce. Will also increase affinity with Sylvian.

With this "rugged handsome looks" skill your persuasion would be improved, and you can make certain enemies skip their turn using that.

Dialogue would probably be like "... is shocked at your vulgar display." I think the moonscorched villagers were raised in pseudo-christianity where they probably said sex isn't ok and the only exception is for Sylvian cultist/sacrifices for sylvian... and I believe in my heart that this skill is obviously not for that god. (a/n: considering that funger has shown rape, I don't think that this would be realistic... probably still effective, but not THAT effective).

Would think that enemies like the Sylvian trooper would either be unfazed or say some flirty stuff idk (skill won't work)

Also! I really like the extra coin toss skill that other folks think would happen with non npc! Tanaka. Really neat.

Speaking of persuasion, Tanaka would have more effective persuauion than other because he is a salaryman. It's basically his job.

On the 'friendship' system, based on different friendship stats you will get different b endings as what your skills are are directly affected by who teaches you. I would also like to think that once Tanaka's latent soul 'awakens', he won't be willing to go back to his old job with new skills he isn't going to use. (a/n: this is where the op part kicks in. Realistically, his b ending would just be the same: only how fast you defeat Termina and if you did succeed would be affected. Still, I like dreaming for my favourite boy to be happy for once. And leave his family cause they really were not good to him, even though they are miles better than other families, they still suck).

When one of the contestants that teaches him moonscorches, if you encounter them he won't fight them, no matter what you do. He will never fight the person that helped him from the ground up. He can never bite the hand that feeds, even if the hand tries to choke him. And that is written in his stubbon nature. (a/n : he was raised to NEVER reky on others, and even if learning from others DO go against this pesson, it will become his character arc to depend on someone else to be stronger. However, I do think canon!Tanaka does still have some self-preservation, and in this case canon Tanaka would probably prioritize his life over morals like this. But my fanon heart is a sobbing girl that likes to think that it's favourite characters would rather kill themselves than kill their friends, and honestly it needs more angst to feed from).

And this part is REALLY, REALLY plot-armoury and really not canon, but in my heart, and even my head, they both agree that Tanaka's b-ending (in my ideas) wouod be the most canon b-ending, as other contestants 'live on' through Tanaka. He carries their memories, and skills, and he uses them to fight Per'kele.

Note: I still like the idea that the logic god ending is canon and what would happen in the 3rd installment, though.

This is the end to my ramblings, sorry for any grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes, etc. English is not my first language. Tahnks for reading this far, to this long-ass tumblr post. I wonder if I can make this into a scarf.

[pinkyjulien]

So I Finished (tm) RDR2 and I'm having thoughts HGFHHGFH

Basically yeah - I rushed through the epilogue cause I wasn't really enjoying iiiiit- I know John is the protag from RDR so that makes sense that we'd play as him, and I love that they did it that way it's a really nice transition between the two games

The game took a turn as soon as Arthur got the TB bomb at the doc, hunting wasn't fun anymore, didn't need any of those fancy saddles or clothes from the Trapper anymore, who HAS TIME to go FISHING anymore, y'know? hghfhgf

Felt pressed by Arthur's disease and I think it was nicely done, it really feels like as if you don't have much time left, everything rolls by smoothly and nothing felt "out of place" (well- tbh wasn't a fan of chapter 5, bit boring to me)

I thought the game was ending with Arthur's death - and it kinda did to me deadass, this epilogue felt like a nice "tying loose ends" DLC

Really happy we got to kill that bitch Micah but seeing Dutch come out of that cabin SHOOK ME.... You're telling me that-- fucker took year(s) to finally get his brain sorted and shoot that stinky rat oh my god hhgfhhg LIKE.... Arthur would've died anyway but at least he'd know his daddy still got his back and would have had someone next to him in his last breath!!!!!!!!!!!! Going INSANE here hhhhghghh

I'M PISSED and I'm crying but also 👍👍👍👍 bombass game, the praise is so deserved, I'm glad friendos enabled me to try it for myself without getting too spoiled (I knew about the Tuberculosis and knew that Arthur was gonna die, but didn't know anything else so this was still an amazing experience)

[frenchfrysword]

A keychain I made for the birthday of a friend

The dutch version of "how is it going?" "it's going" (person is a millimeter away from a mental breakdown) is "hoe gaat het?" "z'n gangetje"

"z'n gangetje" means "it's going". "Gangetje" as a noun means (small) hallway.

So the dutch meme format goes as follows:

"How is it going?" / "hoe gaat het?" "it's going" / "z'n gangetje" The going: / Het gangetje: [image of fucked up hallway]

Colored pencil and fineliner on shrinky dink. July 2024. And yeah I know I forgot to close the quotation marks. That's typically me so he knows he got a Real One(TM).