#extremely depressing
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nglā¦ my excitement for this weekend literally vanished last night
#daniel ricciardo#danny ric#dr3#f1#formula 1#dutch gp 2023#Iām trying so hard to find it back but -#listen danny fans yall know#the emotional toll weāve been through the last year#or two years depending on how long youāve been watching but Iām baby Iāve only been here for a year#but seeing him lose his happiness and his seatā¦ spending the first half of the season without him just going nutto for the glimpses we got#here and there and then BAM surprise we get him back! but no itās 2 races and then A MONTH OF BREAK#but itās okay bc heās excited heās ready heās COOKING and then yesterday#the emotional roller coaster I am exhausted#I canāt imagine how he feels after all this but we know heās got great people around him thankfully#anyways yes so now that I have a taste of him enjoying being back in a car.. seeing another x amount of races heās forced to sit out feels#extremely depressing#I honestly donāt know if Iām up for it and like ofc I do root for other drivers but theyāre not Danny yknow? idk maybe Iām just a lil dumb#joey rambles#sorry sorry Iām in a sad girl moment tm rn#which is not great since I have to go to a work thing tonight
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"Questions about DNA evidence also led Bell to request a hearing challenging Williamsā guilt. But days before the Aug. 21 hearing, new testing showed that DNA on the knife belonged to members of the prosecutorās office who handled it without gloves after the original crime lab tests.
Without DNA evidence pointing to any alternative suspect, Midwest Innocence Project attorneys reached a compromise with the prosecutorās office: Williams would enter a new, no-contest plea to first-degree murder in exchange for a new sentence of life in prison without parole.
Judge Bruce Hilton signed off on the agreement, as did Gayleās family. But at the urging of Missouriās Republican attorney general, Andrew Bailey, the state Supreme Court blocked the agreement and ordered Hilton to proceed with an evidentiary hearing, which took place Aug. 28.
Hilton ruled on Sept. 12 that the first-degree murder conviction and death sentence would stand, noting that Williamsā arguments all had been previously rejected. That decision was upheld Monday by the state Supreme Court."
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me coming online eager to spam people with my mutuals' homestuck art on this special day only to find half of them have mysteriously disappeared
#granted this was on insta. tumblr/twt homestucks i know youre still around and i appreciate you for it#cant find most of my old insta homestuck mutuals though#extremely depressing#chat#homestuck
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Okay but Pavitr is quite a cheerful guy, so I think it'd be funny if he teamed up with Noir at some point, like the sheer difference between them. Pavitr is like it can always get better while Benj is lying in a gutter with someone pooring cheap booze over him
#i don't think this counts as spoilers#we already know from trailers that he's happy to be spiderman#and noir is like. depression extreme#into the spider verse#spider-man noir#spider man noir#spider noir#spiderverse#spiderman noir#spidernoir#marvel noir#spider-noir#pavitr prabhakar#spiderman india#atsv#across the spiderverse
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Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)
#dc comics#dc#batfamily#batman#damian wayne#stephanie brown#tim drake#dick grayson#cassandra cain#duke thomas#anyway. zdarsky run sure is something huh?#its still so funny to me that half of 148 was leaked a few days before like someone has it OUT for that book over at bleeding cool ig#i don't necessarily think this theory will come true I'm just imagining how stupid it would be if it did#I'm not super happy with the dialogue in the cass+duke+dick comic but i felt my og dialogue might've read too fanon#mainly just bc cass' last sentence was originally shorter/just ellipses and duke said smthin like ''wait? villain arc?''#which you could easily find in wayne family adventures. even tho it would've been appropriate for this situation š#now the dialogue just sounds kind of generic (esp cass') and it's BOTHERING ME AUGHH. this is the comic book fandom panopticon /j#anyway Bruce is in the retirement home in this scenario /j#me n my friends were talking over discord and came up w the cursed scenario that jason is tims robin in this (apart of the 'redemption' arc#-that he's been nail gunned with in this run. god this run is so weird when it comes to jason. like it doesn't outright dislike him-#-like it clearly does damian and (more obviously) cass steph and duke) but the tone of everything w jason is still bizarre#god. anyway yeah i didn't draw him but please picture grown man tank Jason in the robin undies (ala tt 03 but dare i say better)#also the dick being silly sketch was bc the issue i was reading had damian refer to dick as 'jolly'#specifically like ''unreasonably jolly'' or something like that (god i love when ppl find dicks cheerfulness deeply unsettling hehehe)#and i thought it was so funny. bc damian met dick when we has going through his ''bruce is dead'' depression-#-and STILL thought that dick was extremely unserious. he sees happy dick and is like ''what is wrong w you. genuinely''#but at the same time he loves it#i need to stop reading their batman and robin run so scatteredly (or i can just reread nightwing must die...always a possibility)#anyway yeah š bad sketches be upon you#mine
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sylvia plath, todd anderson and virginia woolf (aka ACTUAL tortured poets) watching taylor āim breaking up with my boyfriend for his intense depression and blaming it on him, im dating a racist who enjoys watching woc being brutalized and harasses young woc artists, i sent my fans out on a hate train to attack a young woc actress for a line she had to say as part of her job to show how mentally ill her character was, im dating a maga supporter, i refuse to say anything about a current genocide despite being the most influential person in the world right now, i am a billionaire, i fly 13 minute flights and have the highest carbon emission of any celebrity, i am a known white feminist who only speaks about issues when it affects me and has constantly let my fans get away with extreme racism and even encouraged it by associating myself with known racistsā swift call herself a tortured poet (her writing sounds like a bunch of thesaurus words slapped over gabba hanna and rupi kaur-esque poetry that was created purely as a trinket for an edgy pinterest board)
#anti taylor swift#like she can be problematic thatās okay#there are SO many problematic artists i like#but sheās not even that good#like read sylvia plath or virginia woolf or listen to LDR or fiona apple or mitski or lorde or boygenius or olivia rodrigo#aka her peers#and realise how much better they are#they truly write art because they have a compassion and rawness for it#whereas taytay only writes to get more money LOL#sheās so extremely privileged that her life is not at all relatable and now she tries to make it so#by romanticizing the most mundane#thats never been your brand babe now itās going to sound like dogshit#GUTS by olivia rodrigo is better because it has such an intensity to it. liv means what she says and you can feel it!#fiona apple means what she says when she writes about begging her lover to love her back!#mitski means what she says when she writes that she is self destructive and puts herself in bad situations since thatās all she knows!#lana means what she says when she writes about her suicide attempt at 15 because of constant abuse from her mother and crippling depression#all of it such haunting and beautiful works because it truly comes from the soul and isnāt a cash grab#Anyway iām so sorry virginia and sylvia and todd#todd anderson#AND JOE ALWYN#joe alwyn my favourite man ever#joe alwyn#dead poets society#anderperry#sylvia plath#virginia woolf#the bell jar#lana del rey#fiona apple#mitski
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#plushies#plushblr#stuffed animals#i sleep with a bunch of plushies in my bed every night#at least 1 always hugged to my chest#i dont understand how some people dont tbh#i didnt for years but i was also extremely depressed so
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i remember in college id tell people i wanted to go to grad school for linguistics and theyd be like ohhh interesting what can you do with a masters or phd in linguistics and id have to be like oh computational linguistics is a growing field right now so probably something with natural language processing and they'd be satisfied with that. but little did they know i didnt actually want that at all. the one time i did nlp for a class it was stupid and i hated it. i just wanted to learn advanced linguistic theory in the intensive setting of grad school. i didnt even want to do research or write a language grammar or anything... just theory
im still kind of like that with, like, most things? i hate real life application and use. i wish it would die
#it didnt help that my project was analyzing sentiment analysis on twitter. sentiment analysis is kind of cool but#dealing with twitter api and python without experience in either was frustrating#i was also extremely depressed that semester to the point that i almost took a break from college but theres no way that affected my view..
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#shame edward little power hour#hes a sweetheart but hes definantly the most gormless of crozier's... informal rat pack?#its especially funny in the book where little and jopson have more scenes togeather#crozier's two sons#and its like- thomas jopson; beautiful. caring. super type a. hyper competent#and edward little- what if a potato was sentient and had depression#personal#amc the terror#the terror#extremely cursed terror posting#horror movie memes
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My dad died yesterday, he was 63
I would like to share a little about him and our story if anyone wants to read, this is not a happy story
My parents divorced when I was three and I went to live with my mom so I saw my dad's life in snapshots, once a week at first and then once a year when he moved abroad and I would spend the summers with him. Every time I would catch up with him he would have a different partner or apartment.
My time with him was always fun, he was laid back, adventurous and open, he would let me do all kinds of crazy stuff while my mom was the strict one. He was a genius to me, he taught me how to program my own games when I was nine, he would make me take computers and appliances apart and reassemble them to teach me how they worked, he made me love science, the outdoors and travelling. He was great at teaching and cooking and driving. He worked on tours for famous musicians as a sound tech, he made 3D films for museums and theme parks when it was all very new, he was a photographer, a programmer, electrician, mechanic, artist and could play many instruments and write poetry!!
The first crack between us was when there was a huge split between my mom's side of the family and his over money and a lot of ugly truths stared coming to light. I realized that when it came to money he was willing to put himself before me and the fights between him and my mom were awful. But in the end once the dust settled we both pretended it never happened.
One weekend I went to visit him and realized his current girlfriend would stick around at last and she had a daughter almost my age!! I now had a little sister and I loved it.
A year later the country fell apart and he fled abroad along with them and even though I missed them I would visit for months at a time every year. I saw him start his life over, he started his own company and I was so proud of him!!
Everything was great for eight years, until one day he told me that my step mom and sister left him and he would sell everything and come back to the country. This was the last time I would ever hear of them, they vanished, I mourned my step sister for years. This was also when his life fell apart.
At 17 adulthood came with a lot of revelations. My mom told me that my dad had been an addict since he was very young, before I was born, my whole life, cocaine and alcohol amongst other things, and everyone around him had been putting up with it and helping him but couldn't take it anymore. He had cheated on her when they had me and had cheated on my step mom too. He would lie to get what he wanted and trusting him was getting increasingly harder.
All of my memories of him were now seen through a different lens. I felt betrayed. I could now tell every time he had been high, and knew where the money he asked of me when to, I was aware of every little lie. I was angry and frustrated at him for the pain he caused my mom and everyone around him. And for squandering the potential I knew he had, for always making the wrong decisions, one mistake after another. And I hated feeling this way the most.
After he came back to the country alone he could never recover, he would relapse, overdose, refuse rehab or any medical help. He would escape psychiatrics facilities and hospitals in the middle of the night, he was a menace!! lmao.
Our relationship was still good despite all this, different but still standing, he had always been my friend even if he wasn't the best at being a dad or partner, I would always scold him and tell him of different job opportunities I came up with for him to try out but now there was this distance between us. I became the parent of the relationship in a way and he didn't like being told what to do. I saw him spiral and I was scared for him.
I've always heard all these stories about addicts finding purpose and fighting for their loved ones, so every time he would jokingly talk to me about how high he was and seemed to enjoy it despite my warnings and pleading it made me feel like I was not enough of a reason to get better, as self centered as it may be I was a teen and I felt powerless to stop him, insignificant. People could get better for their children, but not for me.
I knew this way of thinking was flawed and selfish and he was the one struggling, I knew he was a victim. I spent the last of my teenage years and early twenties trying to fight back this feeling so I could preserve our relationship, we always kept in contact but over time he changed and was no longer the person I knew.
He became a stranger, often times incoherent and delusional, his views changed, he was paranoid, his addiction got worse and worse and now all I could feel was pity and guilt, our once good relationship was now reduced to a few interactions where he would ask me for money, I knew I was possibly funding his self destruction and he was likely lying to me but he also needed to pay for medication and so I couldn't refuse him.
I had my own life now, a husband and plans for the future. When I decided to move abroad a few years ago I knew our hug goodbye could be the last, he was broke and unstable but I thought once I was settled and had a job and a citizenship I could have enough money to get him tickets to visit and show him the life I had made for myself like he had done in my childhood.
But then Covid happened, and he would never agree to make calls. Soon after he was diagnosed with cancer, I would ask about his health and he would say he was fine. He wasn't fine, he was smoking 4 packs a day. He got the cancer removed but refused further treatment, he said he didn't have any purpose left in life and no reasons to keep living, he had a stroke and couldn't feel half his body when he was forcibly hospitalized, his cancer had spread and he hadn't been eating for a long time, he hid all this from me, I first heard it from my aunt in tears over the phone yesterday, he tried to escape the hospital in the night and had to be tied up and sedated, he never woke up.
He died alone, all that is left of his family is me and my aunt and we both live in different countries. There is nobody there to even bury him. I feel like I abandoned him. I've always known I would feel this way when this day came, in a way I've been mourning him for many years and have carried this guilt for even longer.
I had the coolest dad, cocaine took him away. I wish this had a better and uplifting message. I just wanted to get this off my chest. He taught me a lot and made me who I am, and I have a lot of great memories with him. He struggled all of his life with his mental health and despite it all he was still amazing and deserved so much better.
He always said that when he was a ghost he would follow me around, I hope he isl!! so I can live for both of us, I love you dad!! and I'm so sorry šÆļø
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Did leo deal with his pregnancy differently or was it the same as donnie?
Leo's pregnancy was very different from Donnie's! For him, quite frankly, the pregnancy was the easy part.
the really hard part came after.
[ ā© the gemini ā© ]
#handing postpartum depression to leo like its a present. merry christmas--#he and donnie have. like. basically the opposite experiences in a lot of ways.#dont worry tho leo gets better. he has his whole ass family and lots of friends and a wonderful partner to get him through it#antidepressants are also extremely helpful#but for the first month or two after kame is born his stupid hormones and brain chemicals really put him through it#also the fact that leos baby was the most high maintenance fussy anxious cry-y baby ever did NOT help tbh#gemini au#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#tmnt#tmnt 2k18#rottmnt leo#rise leo#tw pregnancy#cw pregnancy#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the turtles#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt disaster twins#fidgetwing#usagi kame
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#sorry for not being the artist i used to have been extremely busy and extremely depressed#my art#twilight sparkle#mlp
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how is taylor swift going to have that whole thing with joe and how she couldnāt deal with the fact he had mental health issues so she cheated on him and has basically done everything she can to make his life worse since breaking up with him (her fan base also going after him) but then go and romanticize asylums and mental illness and stuff like that with her new depressed poet persona. like am I the only one who thinks itās weird that she would act like sheās struggling with her mental health while also making songs outing joes struggles with depression and how he should have gotten over it so they could marry
#anti taylor swift#free joe alwyn#joe alwyn#swifties dni#taylor swift critical#anti swifties#fuck her though#seriously#she is a billionaire with access to literally any treatment she could ever need#and she romanticizes mental institutions where real people get abused and traumatized#all that on top of her being extremely unsupportive of joe and his struggles with depression#fuck taylor swift#jfc
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Beautiful com from the amazing @littlestpersimmon of my little D&D guy, Shadow; a traumatized Thief/Shadow Warlock.
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manic depression has a-captured my soul...
#old vent art! whenever I spiral I do these extremely fast sloppy doodles to try and keep me from TOTALLY losing it#the mixed-manic ones are much much more fun to look at than the depressive spiral ones...#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#fe3h#spx art#spx fanart#spx digishit#spx chicken scratch
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This video is why I don't believe the pro-Palestinian movement really cares about Palestinians.
If it did, it would be centering Palestinian peace and human rights activists. It would be coordinating with protests in Gaza. It would know that protests and activists in Gaza exist.
I wouldn't have to dig to find people like Hamza Howidy, Moumen Al-Natour, Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib, Bassem Eid, the Center for Peace Communications, or the people Hamza mentions in this video.
People would care that Hamas actively threatens, tortures, and executes them. They would care that Hamas has controlled all media in Gaza for 17 years, actively and violently silencing Palestinian voices. They would fight for those voices.
The message I've gotten from this movement for nearly a year, from the first rallies celebrating October 7 through today, has been that Hamas is somewhere between "unimportant" and "goals," Israel is the supreme and only evil, and Palestinians? They're only important when they're dying.
#And most importantly: these activists wouldn't consistently get attacked and blocked as āZionistsā when people do find them#That's from the extreme hamas-is-goals folks -- i assume#IS that most importantly? no but it's telling as fuck#free gaza#fuck hamas#jumblr#Palestinians to platform#wall of words#depressing discourse#Instagram
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