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lovesosweeet · 1 year ago

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better left unsaid // cth

chapter twenty

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

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june 7, 2016 london, england orion

Somehow, my roommates chose not to join me in London to see 5SOS again. We’d had so much fun at the Madrid show, but after Calum extended the invite to visit the band again, they all declined the offer. I didn’t like the thought of not seeing Cal at least once or twice more, so I booked my flight as soon as I could, choosing the cheapest option possible. It meant spending the night on the floor at the airport so I could catch the earliest flight today and still take the metro before it shut down at 2, but that also meant I landed pretty early on in the day.

Calum and I will have the whole day together. Well, the whole day aside from their soundcheck and other band obligations. I’ll be here with them tomorrow, too, but Calum said they’d have press for most of the day, so I’ll get to explore alone, and then after tomorrow’s show I’m tagging along to Brighton before flying back to Spain.

He’d offered to send a car to pick me up at the airport, but I declined. He tried to fight back and insist, but I felt like it was incredibly unnecessary. I can handle myself. So, once I made my way through customs, I followed the signs to the underground station and hopped on the next train that goes toward the direction of the hotel Calum said they’re staying at.

While I ride the tube, I text him.

To: calum 5sos

hi! on my way to you now. probably like 20 min!

I told him that I would be here early, so I’m hoping he’s awake.

The train is packed with commuters, so I feel extra cautious of being pickpocketed. My valuables are in my crossbody that I have in front of me, but my backpack is stuffed with clothes and makeup. I grip my phone as tightly as I can.

Calum texts me back quickly.

From: calum 5sos

hi pretty! I’m ready to go whenever you get here. can’t wait to see ya!

Suddenly I feel nervous to see him. I did my makeup on the plane and used a ton of overpriced dry shampoo I’d bought at the airport, but now I’m wondering if I look pretty enough to be hanging out with an internationally famous musician.

It’s also funny because it’s only been a few days since I last saw him, and yet, here I am, excited to see him. I’m borderline missing him, which feels wild considering I’ve only known him for about a week. I do my best to push away those kinds of feelings — this is just fun. We’re just having fun together. I’ll probably see him this trip, maybe try to see him one other time, and that’ll probably be it. I’m sure he’s got other girls who’d like to see him, and they’re only in Europe for a month and a half or so.

The rest of the ride to my final station seems to creep by slowly, my nerves just building while I stand awkwardly on the train, clutching my phone and the metal pole that’s keeping me steady.

When we get to the station, I quickly exit the train with an onslaught of other passengers. Most of them are dressed in business clothes, on their way to work. I’m wearing jean shorts and a cropped t-shirt with a linen button down on top, making me feel like I stand out. I’m casual, and I feel quite American in my outfit. My San Diego Padres baseball hat really adds to my American-ness, and I suddenly feel like I should’ve possibly rethought my outfit choice.

My hands are sweaty as I ride the escalator up to the exit. I route my way to Calum’s hotel, trying to at least know which direction to start walking in when I get to the street. Those efforts prove to be unnecessary because when I get to the street, I see Calum waiting for me.

He’s wearing his standard black pants and a pair of black Vans with a black and white striped t-shirt. He’s somewhat disguised with a pair of Raybans covering his eyes, but his height makes the grinning boy stick out to me as soon as I step off the escalator. He raises his hand in a wave when he sees me, instantly starting to walk towards me.

“Orion!” He calls out. As soon as he’s a few steps from me, Calum opens his arms wide so he can wrap me into a tight hug.

I’m somewhat stunned, truthfully, but try to hide it. I hug him back instantly, feeling safer in his grasp. He doesn’t hold onto me for too long, but I’m not sure if it’s because I step back after a few seconds in his arms or if he lets me go.

“No security?” I ask when there’s a foot or so of space between us. I look around, trying to see if there’s a guard hiding a few people away or something, but still don’t see anyone.

Calum shakes his head and smiles. “Nah, convinced Matt to let us free roam today. A trial run.”

I nod. “Got it, I’m on my best behavior.”

He laughs, throwing an arm over my shoulders. “Let’s go drop off your bag at the hotel, and we can get breakfast?” He asks as if it’s a question, even though it’s technically a sentence. “If you’re hungry, I mean.”

“I’m hungry,” I tell him. I feel his shoulders relax. “And I love breakfast.”

“I know you do,” Calum says.

He knows I love breakfast? Had I told him that? Maybe when I was drunk I mentioned it. I do tend to rant about things when I’m drunk.

“Sorry, didn’t mean that to sound creepy,” he then blurts. “I looked at like… your entire Instagram account like a creep, so maybe it should’ve sounded creepy. Sorry, now I’m showing you all my cards, I just—”

I cut him off with laughter. I’m flattered that he had scrolled through my feed. I was shocked to get the follow request, but I accepted it, assuming he’d just follow me and not ever interact with me. I figured it was a nicety. He probably follows every girl he hooks up with as some weird way to document them.

“It’s fine, I looked through yours too.” I did. I saw mostly what I expected. A bunch of stage photos, pictures with his bandmates, a few pictures with his family mixed in. I felt like I got a glimspe into who he is, beyond what I’d learnt during our day and a half together in Madrid.

“I’m flattered,” he says, chuckling.

“I mean it’s not every day I meet someone who knows Harry Styles,” I tell him. “Naturally I needed to see how close of friends you guys are.”

Calum scoffs. He turns me suddenly, onto a new street. I don’t question it and just try to keep up with his long legged pace. “I thought you weren’t a 1D fan?”

I laugh, but it comes out more as a giggle, which for some reason feels embarrassing. “I’m not, but you can’t deny that the man is dreamy.”

Calum laughs, but I’m not sure if it’s at my comment or at my awkward giggle. “I get it, you’re just pretending to like me so you can meet him.”

I’m so wrapped up in my conversation with Calum that I don’t even realize that we’re walking into an alley behind a hotel now. The only reason I realize it is because I can hear the echoes of a crowd from the other side of the building, chanting “5SOS” — it’s 7 in the morning, which is far too early for that in my opinion.

The security guard, Gus is his name, is the same one who had been in Madrid. He smiles when he sees me, or maybe when he sees Calum, or maybe it’s the combination of us. Either way, he waves his hand hello.

“Hi, Gus!” I call, offering him a smile.

“Good morning, Orion.” He remembers my name?

I look at Calum with a surprised look and find him already smiling at me. God, I like him. I smile back and mumble a quiet thank you when he opens the door to the hotel for me. We walk to the service elevator, Cal leading the way, and he presses the button for the seventh floor.

“For the record, I don’t need to meet Harry Styles. I’ve already met the coolest bassist that’s come out of Australia this decade.”

Calum rolls his eyes, feigning annoyance. “Just this decade?”

I throw my head back with a laugh. “I don’t know enough about bassists, and especially not Australian ones, so I didn’t want to oversell you.”

His annoyance evaporates and then he’s giggling with me. The doors open to the floor, Cal holding his arm out so they don’t close on me, and then he grabs onto my hand to pull me to his room. Once the door is unlocked, he opens it for me and lets me walk in ahead of him.

“I’m probably the coolest bassist to come out of Aus in the past century,” he announces, flicking the lights on. “And the hottest.”

I purse my lips. I’d agree, but I can’t inflate his ego. He’s already here, claiming to be the hottest and coolest bassist of the century. “You can keep telling yourself that, bud.” I’m also trying to avoid appearing completely smitten with him, even though I am.

He laughs again. “See, I like how you knock me down.”

I drop my backpack onto the armchair in the corner of the room, next to his open suitcase, messily piled with clothes and a few packs of cigarettes and then I hold my hand out to him. “I’ll pull you back up, too.”

“My dream girl.”

I do my best to ignore the sudden flutter in my chest, settling on smiling cheesily at him.

It’s just a fling, I tell myself. I need to keep my expectations low.

“You said there’d be breakfast?” I ask.

Calum’s expression turns unreadable, but his eyes are still kind and sparkling, so I don’t worry about it. “With me, there will always be breakfast.”

My dream boy, I think.

–

After a few hours of roaming London with Calum, I’ve fallen in love with the city. Despite it being a massive city, something about it all feels quaint… in a dirty, gloomy, stinky kind of way. My only request is that we go on the Eye, which he manages to get us on for free by taking a selfie with the girl at the ticket counter.

He and I also take a selfie with the view at the top. It’s our first picture together, and it might end up being the only photo of us together. I decide it’s a sweet memento to hold onto of this brief study abroad adventure. I haven’t told my moms yet that I’ve decided to take a weekend trip to London to visit a boy, but maybe someday I’ll show them this photo and they can understand why I made the choice to get on a plane to see his show.

We’re making our way to the venue now, the O2. He’s trying to be chill about it, but I can tell Calum is both stoked and incredibly nervous. I think it’s their first time headlining, but I’m not completely sure, and Cal seems too out of it to answer if I did ask. We’re on a train — I have no idea how he managed to convince Matt that he can take a train to the venue without a security guard, but again, not going to ask. He’s drumming his hands on his thighs in a pattern nervously, looking straight ahead of him at the blurry view outside the window.

I grab his left hand in both of mine, steadying it. He stops his tapping and whispers a quiet ‘sorry’ to me. In response, I just squeeze his hand tightly.

When I look away from his face, I face forward at the blurry view too. The train stops at a station, and I look down at the people sitting in front of me, which I quickly regret. A girl is sitting directly across from us wearing a 5 Seconds of Summer t-shirt and wide, shocked eyes while she stares at us.

My eyes mirror hers then, wide and nervous. I let go of Calum’s hand quickly and stand up, moving to his other side and holding onto a metal pole instead of holding his hand. Calum looks startled when he stares up at me.

“Are you okay?” He asks, his forehead wrinkling with concern.

I nod, clearing my throat. “Yeah, yeah, fine. Just…” I sigh, trailing off. “There’s a fan, across from you,” I whisper to him as quietly as I can. I feel incredibly self-conscious now, and I don’t want Calum to be so clearly seen with me. I know he’s said — a few times now — that he doesn’t mind being seen with me, but I don’t know how true that can really be. Female fan bases are incredibly powerful and a wonderful thing, but they’re not exactly known for being welcoming or kind to the women seen with their favorite men.

His eyes flit to behind me, up to me, and back behind me. He looks back up at me again. “Just a sec.”

Calum then stands up, walking the handful of steps over to the fan. I don’t watch, but I’m sure she’s peeing her pants. “Hi, I’m Calum,” I hear him say.

I think he sits down next to her, but I’m too scared to look.

“I know,” she squeaks out.

“Do you want to take a picture?”

“If you don’t mind, I don’t want to bother you.”

“Nah, of course you’re not bothering me,” he says in his normal kind voice. “Here, want me to take it?”

They’re quiet for a moment, taking their pictures, I’m guessing.

The intercom then announces that we’ve gotten to our destination. I turn around then, both Calum and his fan standing up as well. Calum grins at me and holds out his hand for me to take. Instead of taking it, I clasp mine together and just start walking off the train. I just try to avoid the gaze of the fan and walk quickly, following the signs for the exit.

When I make it to the street, I turn around, finding Calum struggling to catch up to me. He looks confused.

“What was that?” He asks. He’s laughing slightly, but his eyebrow is still quirked.

“Sorry, I just…” I don’t know how to finish my sentence. I feel my forehead wrinkle with anxiety. I don’t know how to explain it to him.

His eyes soften and his expression returns to a slightly more neutral one. I think he’s willing to drop it, so I take my chance and run with it.

“Which way are we going? I don’t want you to be late.”

Calum nods, pulling his phone out to check the directions. “This way,” he says, and we start walking.

As we walk, I look around at the crowd around us. There is a sea of people wearing flannels, black clothes, and 5 Seconds of Summer merch. They all seem too busy with whatever they’re doing, and I don’t see any eyes on Calum, so I take advantage of our chance to camouflage him. I take my hat off and stop, stand in front of him, and put my hat on his head. I grab his sunglasses from where he has them hanging on his shirt and hold them in front of his face.

He chuckles, putting on the glasses.

“No one will ever know it’s you. You’re unrecognizable.”

“Am I allowed to hold your hand in incognito mode?”

I’ve let him hold my hand all day, and he’s kissed me in public, so I don’t know that I should really be so weird about it now. It’s just the eyes boring into me at such a close proximity. I feel watched and judged, and I haven’t even done anything wrong.

“Maybe another time,” I say quietly. I feel guilty. I want him to hold my hand, but I don’t want an army of haters to follow me around for holding a guy’s hand for a few minutes.

We walk in silence, and I’m acutely aware to the presence of Calum’s hand on the small of my back while he guides me to the unmarked side of the building where I assume Matt said to meet him. We pass a handful of security guards, which Calum takes off his sunglasses for so they can see his face. They all just nod as we walk by.

As soon as we’re out of the view of the crowds of fans, I grab Calum’s hand again.

“It just feels very… smothering,” I say while we walk. “To have all of those eyes on me for just existing in your presence.”

“I’m sorry,” Calum says. “You don’t have to do anything you want to do, and that applies to far more than just holding hands.”

I squeeze his hand gently. “I know. I just don’t want you to get any negative backlash for holding some random girl’s hand.”

Calum squeezes my hand back. “I think I can handle it.” He gives me a jokingly cocky smile.

We walk into the back door of the arena, which, as we walked around it, is absolutely massive. So many people will be here tonight, and I get to be backstage? It’s somewhat unbelievable.

As soon as we’re inside, I can hear the hoots and hollers of the rest of Calum’s band. I got to meet them for a bit back in Madrid. They’re all very nice, but very loud and rowdy. Which, to be fair, makes sense considering they’re all roughly 20 years old and famous and somewhat rich. They can kind of do whatever they want.

“Has anyone seen Calum?” I hear one of them ask from some distance away. I don’t know their voices well enough to know which one it was and I don’t know exactly where they are. I’m just following Calum’s lead.

“He’s with that girl, Orion, today, remember?” Another one says.

“Oh! Right,” the first one replies. “She’s—“

They stop talking as Calum and I enter the room, and I am glad I don’t get to know how that sentence is going to end. I don’t think I want to know.

“Orion!” The blonde one, Luke, calls out when he sees us. “You made it!”

I smile at him and he’s running over to me, wrapping me into a tight hug. “Hi, nice to see you again.” I’m still tethered to Calum with my hand in his. I’d let his hand go but he’s got a tight grip on mine.

“Pssh, no need to sound so formal,” Luke says, letting me go.

“It is nice to see you again!” I argue.

Michael and Ashton also come over to give me hugs.

“Did you guys have fun today? Cal told us all about his plans,” Ashton says, looking back and forth between Calum and me.

I nod, smiling up at Cal. “Yeah, it was great.”

“It’s a miracle you guys are back on time. Calum is known for getting lost,” Michael tells me and laughs while Calum turns slightly pink.

Luke throws an arm around Calum’s neck, yanking him towards him. “Y’know how people have ‘Find My iPhone’? We need ‘Find My Calum.’”

“Well, if he’s with me I promise to get him where he needs to be on time.”

“I knew I liked you,” Matt dryly says from across the room. It’s probably the nicest thing the man has ever said because all of the guys look awestruck from the comment.

“C’mon, let’s sit down. We’ve got some time before soundcheck.” Calum pulls me toward the black sectional in the corner of the room. He flops onto it, kicking his feet up on the coffee table littered with empty beer bottles, Red Bull cans, solo cups, and a half empty bottle of vodka.

I don’t flop onto the couch, but I do sit next to him, letting him wrap an arm around me so I’m pressed into his side. It’s nice to be this close to him.

“Do you guys want a drink? We’ve got beer here but there’s other stuff they can grab for us if you want it.” Ashton calls out to us while bending over a cooler.

“I’ll do a beer!” I yell over to him and he nods, reaching into the cooler.

“Same, thanks, Ash!”

Luke jumps over the back of the couch to join us, but he’s so lanky that he ends up knocking over some of the bottles and cups on the table with the flailing of his limbs flying through the area. What looks like mystery liquid pools on the floor, some combination of beer, vodka, Red Bull, and some mysterious blue liquid.

“Seriously, Luke?!” Ashton yells. He’s laughing, holding three bottles of Stella Artois in his hands. He gives two to Calum, who hands one to me.

“This is what happens when you let me take four shots of vodka and shotgun a Red Bull at 2 in the afternoon!”

Jesus, I think. I know they’re used to partying and Luke isn’t exactly a small person, but still. Luke is off the couch again, walking around the room. He returns with a large handful of paper towels to clean up his mess. While Luke mops up the traces of beer and Red Bull from the table and the floor, Michael and Ashton join us on the couch, still snickering about Luke’s clumsiness.

I set my beer on the table and decide to help prevent anything else of the sort from happening again, so I start stacking up the solo cups and grab as many cans and bottles as I can hold. I meet Luke at the trash can to drop them in after his soaked paper towels, and he gives me a puzzled look.

“What are you doing?” Luke asks with a chuckle.

“I just thought it would prevent future spills,” I defend myself, going back to the couch to collect the rest, but Calum followed my lead and grabbed what was left.

“It wasn’t your mess to clean, but thank you,” Luke says and he gives me a bright, genuine smile.

When we sit back on the couch, Luke manages to put his feet up on the coffee table without spilling things, and we can all relax for a minute. Calum’s arm is back around me, and I take a few sips from my beer. All of the boys, aside from Cal, are tapping around on their phones. I try to decide if I want to talk to them or just whisper to Calum, which sounds kind of awkward, so I clear my throat.

“What did you guys do today?” I ask.

They all look up at their phones and at each other, surprise written on their faces.

“Not much, really,” Ash says, shrugging. “Got lunch at a place near where we used to live, reliving the glory days.”

“You guys used to live here?” They’re from Australia and they’ve toured a lot in the last few years. When did they live in London? Calum hadn’t mentioned it at all.

“Yeah, not for too long. Before the One Direction era.” Ashton smiles, amused by my surprised expression.

They had to have been babies then but still moved all the way to London for their careers. I can’t imagine my family being OK with shipping me across the world at that age, but I guess it must just be a testament to just how special and talented the four of them are. They were born for this life. Their parents must have known it.

“Anywhere else you’ve lived besides Australia, London, and LA?” I ask. I direct the question at Calum, even though he’s not the one saying anything.

“Cal almost moved to Brazil,” Ashton answers, making Calum shoot him a glare.

I raise my eyebrows. “Brazil?”

Calum flushes pink and avoids my gaze. “Yeah, but it didn’t happen.”

“Well, we moved to London because he didn’t move to Brazil, basically,” Ashton clarifies.

“What the hell was in Brazil?” I ask through slight laughter.

“Football,” Calum replies, the moniker supposedly enough information to explain the whole thing.

“Man, you really don’t know anything about us, do you?” Michael asks. He looks incredibly amused and he’s giggling after his question.

“Oi, Mike, be nice,” Ashton scolds while whacking Michael’s head softly.

“Soccer was in Brazil?” I ask Calum, trying to understand the bigger picture.

“Yeah, I went for some training,” he says. “Was supposed to go back, but decided I’d rather be in a band with these losers instead of playing footy.”

I look around the room at the rest of them, trying to see if any of them care to clarify. He was going to move to Brazil for soccer… like, to play professionally? I go to ask another question, but then a loud group of people walk in, demanding all of our attention.

They all look vaguely familiar, probably because I’ve seen pictures of at least a few of them on Calum’s Instagram. Cal’s bandmates all stand up and greet the crowd, embracing them, making a lot of noise, but Calum stays seated right next to me.

“Do you need to go say hi to them?” I ask. When I look at him, I find he’s staring at me.

“No, I was with most of them last night,” he shrugs.

I nod, glancing quickly back over at the people. The other three boys are totally swallowed by the mass of their friends. I look back to Cal and he’s inched his face closer to mine.

“I was supposed to go pro,” he says quietly. “With soccer, I mean. My parents were pissed when I told them I wanted to do this instead.”

“I’m sure they’re happy with the decision now.”

He grins, leaning a few inches forward so he can kiss me. It’s swift and short, but it’s still as sweet as can be. “Are you always like this?”

I furrow my brow. “Like what?”

“Always making the person you’re talking to feel like the most important person in the room.”

Then it’s my turn to blush. My cheeks get hot and I look away from Calum nervously. I try to always include people and ask questions, but I know sometimes it doesn’t come off well and it seems like I’m being annoying. It’s a relief that Calum thinks positively of my conversational habits.

“I like learning about you,” I confess. “And the rest of them. You’re all fun.”

Calum nods and then kisses me again. “Learning about you might just be my new favorite thing.”

My heart soars and I have to look away. If I look into his eyes, I’ll be a goner. I’ll be totally obsessed with this guy. He’s saying and doing all of the right things to get me to like him, and I have to protect myself. This is just temporary, while they’re touring Europe.

“Who are all those people?” I ask him, looking down at my lap.

He sighs. “It’s a mix of some of our music friends from LA, a few people we knew when we lived here, uh… oh, Mike’s girlfriend, Crystal. She’s the one with purple hair. There’s a girl Luke’s dating here, too.” Calum leans closer, so his mouth is by my ear. “But none of us like her,” he whispers.

I laugh slightly, but since I don’t know the girl I don’t want to base my opinions on just what Calum has said. “Which one is she?”

Cal laughs somewhat bitterly. “Don’t worry, you’ll know.”

I look over at the group of people and try to find Crystal and this other girl. Crystal I spot easily since, like Calum had mentioned, she has purple hair. She’s tall and pretty, with a sweet smile and light eyes, talking to Michael and another couple of guys. One I recognize as one of the members of the opening act. Then I look to Luke and find a tall girl with dark hair draped over him while he talks to a few of the other people. Got it. That’s the one that’s dating him. She’s not looking at any of the people huddled with, just clinging to Luke and standing there.

When I look back to Crystal to try to get a better look at her, she’s looking at me. Michael is saying something to her, and when she notices me looking her way, she smiles and waves. I smile and wave back awkwardly. Crystal then turns to Michael, puts a hand on his arm, and says something to him quickly before she walks over to the couch, sitting a few feet away from Cal and me and still smiling.

“Hi! I’m Crystal,” she says.

“Oh, hi! I’m Orion.”

Crystal smiles. “Oh, I know. This one won’t stop blabbing on about you and that club. What was it called again?” She directs the question to Calum, who looks embarrassed by her comment.

“Space Monkey,” I say for him. “My roommate’s girlfriend is a bartender there.”

She nods. “Such a weird name. Sorry, I would’ve said hi at the Madrid show, but wasn’t sure if it would have been overwhelming.”

I look to Calum, who hadn’t mentioned that there were other guests at the Madrid show. We only hung out with the band itself and my roommates. After the show, Calum and I went back to his hotel and my roommates went out with the band. None of them really remembered much the next morning, but they did say they had a fun time.

Crystal seems to know what I’m thinking and explains everything for Calum. “We hung out in the VIP viewing area that night, and when we went out after, I did get to meet your roommates. They were all so sweet, but we were all pretty wasted, so not sure if they remember it.”

“Sorry, I should’ve mentioned you could hang in the VIP section,” Calum apologizes. “I figured you’d prefer the pit.”

I laugh nervously. “Yeah, I do prefer the pit, but just feel bad if we kept you guys out of the backstage area that evening.”

Crystal shakes her head. “No, you were totally fine! We just went out for dinner before the show.”

I just nod. I didn’t realize they all had such a large entourage.

“I’m glad we get to meet you this time,” Crystal adds, still smiling very kindly at me. “Is this your first time to London?”

Calum has his arm around me and is lightly tracing shapes into my side and I’m at ease with his presence. Crystal isn’t scary or anything, but she seems eons cooler than I’ll ever be and she’s far prettier than I am. She also just seems to have it all together. I’m trying to make a good first impression.

“It is,” I answer. “I love it. Yours?”

She shakes her head. “No, I’ve been a few times, but I love it too. Anyway, I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys, just wanted to pop over and say hi. Come find me during soundcheck if you want someone to hang out with.”

I smile at her graciously. “Thank you, I probably will.”

Crystal gets up then and walks back over to Michael, who greets her by wrapping an arm around her waist while they pick up their conversation with their friends. The whole lot of them seem to mesh together like they’ve spent a lot of time with each other. It’s just crazy because there are so many of them.

“Wait, doesn’t your sister live in London?” I ask suddenly, realizing Calum’s sister doesn’t seem to be in the crowd. I look back at him and he giggles.

“She does, but she’s in LA right now.”

I sigh with relief. Meeting all these random people is a lot, but meeting Calum’s sister would be even more intense. She’s family. She’s not someone you introduce to a girl you met at a nightclub a few days prior that you hooked up with and invited to another show.

“What’s she like?” I ask. Calum smiles at the question, a light appearing in his brown eyes.

“She’s amazing. An incredible songwriter and singer. She’s kind, and she’s like a big sister to all of us, really. She’s my best friend. I’d do anything for her.”

“What’s her name?”

“Mali-Koa, but we just call her Mali.”

I look down at his arm, the name familiar because of the tattoo there. I trace the outline of the bird. “Like your tattoo.”

He nods. “Yes, like my tattoo,” he says. “Do you have siblings?”

I grin, instantly seizing my chance to show him pictures of my brother and getting my phone out. “I have a little brother. He’s four. His name is Eridanus, but we just call him Eri. He’s the sweetest boy ever.”

I pass Calum my phone with the album of photos with Eri and me lighting up the screen. He scrolls through, stopping at the one where Eri smeared brownie batter on my face and we both were laughing uncontrollably.

“You guys are cute,” Cal comments, handing my phone back.

“Boys, stage in 5!” Matt appears out of nowhere and disrupts the entire room’s conversations.

There’s a collective groan and Calum downs most of his beer quickly before he kisses my cheek, saying he’s gotta use the bathroom and will see me after soundcheck.

“You’ll be okay back here, right? You can also come watch, but it’s usually pretty boring. Or I can give you some cash if you want to go grab a coffee nearby or something?”

“I’ll be fine,” I tell him. He gives me a grin before he runs off.

I decide to take Crystal up on her offer and make my way over to her. She lights up as I approach her, her smile widening.

“Can I hang out with you for a bit?” I ask.

“Of course,” she says. “Here, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Crystal guides me through the group like I’m a show pony. I try to remember everyone’s names but it’s a total lost cause. Everyone is pretty nice, but some are more interested in meeting me than others. I don’t blame them — I’m sure there’s a fairly consistent rotation of people coming through this group in my shoes. It might not be worth trying to really connect with girls like me.

After I’ve met everyone, she shows me where the bathroom is and where I can get food if I’m hungry. Then, we head to the side of the stage so we can watch soundcheck. She takes me to Calum’s side of the stage instead of Michael’s, saying she sees it almost every night, so missing it this once isn’t that big of a deal. He looks surprised, but pleasantly, when he notices us, waving at me. I give him a thumbs up.

The soundcheck lasts for about an hour, and they play a few songs that they didn’t play at the Madrid show. I’ve tried to study their discography over the past few days, but I haven’t been able to learn everything yet, so I don’t know which songs are which. When I get a glimpse of Crystal’s face while we watch, she looks so proud.

“How long have you guys been together?” I ask her as we walk back to the dressing room.

Crystal laughs. “We’ve been friends for a while, but officially together for about 6 months.”

“So you’re used to… all this? By now?”

She laughs again and shakes her head. “I don’t think it’s something you ever get used to.”

I’m opening my second bottle of beer when the boys come backstage again, Calum coming straight to me. Crystal winks at me when he approaches and ducks away to catch up with Michael. I spin around to face Calum.

“You don’t have to come straight to me, you know,” I tell him. He’s taking a few gulps of his own fresh beer.

“You’re my guest,” he defends. “I’m not just gonna leave you hanging.”

I roll my eyes. “I can fend for myself.”

Calum laughs quietly. “Trust me, I know you can.”

I raise an eyebrow at him and take a swig of my beer. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe that you moved to a country you’ve never been to alone? You navigated two international airports alone and the transit systems? Hell, Matt likes you. That’s something.”

“It’s not that hard. You just follow signs.”

Now Calum rolls his eyes. “Let me talk you up, please.”

I bite my tongue, holding back on making a snarky comment. Instead, I do my best to smile at him somewhat sweetly. “Fine.”

He kisses me again then and when he pulls back he grabs my hand in his, pulling me away from the mass of people and out the door. Once outside, he turns us around a corner so we’re away from the bodyguards and crew. As soon as we’re out of everyone’s sight, he grabs my hips and gently pushes me against the cinder block wall with his beer bottle pressed against my side.

Calum grazes his lips against mine, hovering without making full contact. I take matters into my own hands and wrap my arms around his neck to pull him down and kiss him, but my beer bottle, slick with condensation, slips out of my hand and crashes onto the pavement, shattering.

“Shit!”

Calum falls into a fit of laughter, stepping back to assess the mess I’ve just made. “What is it with you and spilling drinks?!”

read next chapter

a/n: not that i need to justify it but flashback chapters serve as some relief for all the weight of everything going on and also i want people to LOVE orion and cal together. that's the bigger goal ofc.

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum hood #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #fanfiction #michael clifford #fanfic #5sosfam #imagine #calum x oc #calum x ofc #calum hood fanfic #calum hood imagine

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mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years ago

Text

It’s a kind of magic tour pt.3; Queen x reader

*Author’s note*

Okay guys this is the last part of the chapter. Now for this part it does get pretty angsty. Now I’m using some personal stuff that happened within Queen at the time, esp. with Deacy. But I mean NO DISRESPECT. I wasn’t born so I can’t tell exactly how Deacy reacted during this tour, so I filled in the blanks myself going off by some interviews with Roger when he talked about Deacy during this tour. So beyond that not really any other warnings except the normal things.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@psychosupernatural

@waddles03

@ixchel-9275

@platawnic

@geek-and-proud

@queendeakyy

@simonedk

@kairosfreddie

@onebigfangirlworld

@naturalswifty89

@starswin

@dj-lowkey

@isabella-bby

@labessieisallama

@5sos-wdw

@bohemiansweede

______________________________________________________

*August 9th, 1986. Knebworth Park*

It was the final show of the Magic Tour we were back home in England performing in Stevenage, but oh god, things have been—strained as of lately. I don’t know when it started but at this point it looked like the guys were just ready to explode and rip either each other or anyone who made one teeny-tiny mistake.

‘So you seriously don’t know what’s going on?’ Jack asked me.

“If I did I would tell you. But all four of them are on edge, especially Deacy. He’s been completely out of character lately. I’ve never seen him so pissed off or drunk so much in my life.”

‘Have you tried talking to him? I mean he is practically your brother.’

“Jack you’re not listen! At this point he’s like Old Yeller when he got rabies. Like back in Madrid, when Queen’s new pianist Spike asked Deacy something the next thing I saw Deacy literally kicked his own AMP down and stormed off. Completely totaled the thing.”

‘Shit.’ He muttered. ‘What about the others?’

“Freddie’s always tired and strained after every show that he just snaps at everyone, Brian seems distracted by something and Roger…..well Roger’s managed to break another TV set in his hotel room.” At that point I heard a crash from the room next door and I said, “Make that three. The hotel manager’s not gonna be happy about this.”

‘Well just think of this baby, after tonight you’ll be home and I’ll pamper you till the New Year.’

“I know. I’ll just be happy to finally get my long hiatus break and spend time with my husband and daughter.”

‘I know she’ll be happy to see her mum again too. And thankfully you’ll be home for her 1st birthday.’

“I know, god I can’t believe she’s gonna be one year old in just three months.” I sighed in awe.

‘Time flies so fast.’

“God I just wish for this tour to be over. I need to see you two.”

‘We want you here too, babe. But come night fall, you all will kill it as usual and then you’ll be home.’ I nodded.

“Well I better go Jack. I love you, give Kelly a kiss for me.”

‘Will do. Love you too (n/n).’ we both kissed the speaker of the phones before we both hung up. Unlike any other of the hotel’s this one had some pretty thin walls so I could hear the wreckage Roger was causing on the room to my right while on the left I could hear Freddie snapping at someone through the walls.

‘LOOK I DON’T GIVE A FUCKING SHIT ABOUT HOW LONG IT TAKES JUST GET IT DONE!! DON’T YOU TELL ME WHAT I CAN OR CAN’T DO!!!’ it was then I collapsed to my knees and held my hands to my ears, having flashbacks to when Johanna and Graham would argue constantly.

Why can’t tonight just get here fast enough? That way we can just celebrate and finally be done with this hellish tour. Then for the first time in a long time, I went up to my bed and pressed my hands together.

“Mum, dad. I—don’t know if you can hear me. But…..this tour seems to have turned the guys into wild animals. The last few weeks have been hell since after Budapest, if you can…..just give me the strength to carry on until tonight. I would greatly appreciate it.” I then decided that I had to get away from the noise.

I locked my hotel room up (since apparently the place had been known for break ins. Of course we didn’t know that till someone from one level above me had his wedding band stolen). I walked towards the back deck of the hotel but as I passed the bar there I saw Deacy sitting at the bar as he’s done in the past with a drink in his hand and his head lying on the bar.

“Unbelievable.” I muttered as I walked up to him. “John? John Richard Deacon!” he groaned and looked up towards me. “You do realize we’ve got a show to do in seven hours right?”

“Would you stop nagging at me? God that’s all you women do is nag, nag, nag, nag, nag.”

“Well sorry if I care about my brother so much! But I’d rather have Queen’s bassist be healthy and oh yeah sober during a performance. So that way he doesn’t fall flat on his back and kills himself!”

“Tell you what. Why don’t you just mind your own damn business and just focus on nagging your husband. After all he’s just the stay-at-home dad with your daughter.”

“Don’t you dare bring my family into this John! Ever.”

“God you sound like my wife.”

“Good, at least one of us does.” I sneered angrily.

“LISTEN! YOU DON’T GET TO DICATE MY LIFE! YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH!” He shouted at me as he rose up, albeit wobbled up, but he got into my face. The stench of cocktails breathing right into my face.

“John I’m worried about you, what else am I supposed to do?”

“FUCK OFF!” John said as he stormed off with his drink.

“FINE!!” at this point I don’t even care if we ended up making a scene at the bar. I brushed my hand through my hair as I tried to keep the tears at bay before storming out.

My breathing was sharp and heavy, it was then I dug through my purse and picked up a pack of cigarettes. I took on out and I brought it up to my lips before digging for a lighter. When I found it I began to try and ignite but it wouldn’t light.

“Since when did you take up smoking?” I turned and saw Brian standing beside me. I dropped the lighter back into my bag and took the cigarette out of my mouth.

“Was thinking about today. This was my breaking point.”

“You referring to your fight with Deacy?”

“You heard that?” I asked softly.

“(Y/n) dear I’m sure all of Stevenage heard you two.” I sighed heavily and buried my face into my hands.

“I’m sorry Brian I’ve tried to hold it in together for you guys but this is all too much! The arguments, the loudness, the drinking, the homesickness, I just can’t take it anymore!” I sobbed.

“Okay, okay, shhh. Shh.” Brian hugged me close to him and rubbed my back. “C’mon, let’s head into my room.” He kept his arm around me as he led me back inside and the two of us went up to his room.

“Call me crazy or even a worry-wort. Hell, call me a hypocrite even because I did think that even through your arguments you guys always seemed to pull through. But now, just…..after Budapest it’s like you all don’t want anything to do with each other anymore. And I don’t know who to turn to because you all are so angry all the time.” I whimpered as I felt Brian’s fingers stroke through my hair as I lay on his lap.

“You’ve been our neutral ground throughout the tour, guess we’ve finally spent you out. Forcing you to take a side or force us apart. One curse about being a guy is the testosterone that makes us flare and bark at each other. You didn’t need to be exposed to that.”

“No Bri I get it. You all have your tempers and you all are adults. I shouldn’t even be crying about this.”

“No (y/n) you emotions are valid too. This isn’t just a Queen tour, it’s Queen+Angel. We’re your family and I know some of this arguing and verbal abuse is bringing back memories for you.”

“Yeah, especially with Fred’s tantrums and Roger smashing the TV.”

“Are you kidding me he destroyed another one?” I nodded. He sighed heavily and he said as he had me look up at him. “I’m sorry love. You really don’t deserve us.”

“I just wish this tour would end so that you all could go back to your loving selves. The ones I can talk to. The ones that aren’t trying to drink themselves to death, or destroy public property.” He stroked my cheek, wiping away my tearstains from the corner of my eyes.

“I know. I hate that our ugliness is really starting to get to you. We never wanted you to be exposed to that.”

“But it’s the rock star life. Hell you saw me about to smoke, and you know how against it I’ve been.”

“Just be thankful you weren’t trying coke or heroin. I’d…..we’d never forgive ourselves if you went down that road.” I sat up from his lap and sat close by him, wrapping my arms around his, my hand lying on top of his and he said.

“I think I can agree with the guys when I say after tonight, we’re all gonna need a break from each other. Just….go out, decompress, be with our families. Just have a little break from each other.”

“I’m starting to think that would be best too.” His arm came out from between mine as he wrapped it around me, placing his hand on top of my head, gently scratching through my scalp in a calming way. I felt him kiss the top of my head while I wrapped my arms around him and just clung to him and buried my face into his chest.

As the hours ticked by, we were all now at the Knebworth stage going over soundchecks and practicing our cues. I made sure to keep as far away from John as possible since I could tell he was still a little shitfaced, it especially didn’t help that his roadies kept making him cocktails behind his AMP.

“You okay love?” I heard Roger ask me. He sat down beside me on the stage with his drumsticks still in hand.

“I don’t even know at this point Roger. I’m really worried about John. Has he said anything to you?”

“I wouldn’t know, even if I would ask him he’d just turn and walk away from me. Starting to piss me off.”

“Enough to toss him off the stage?”

“I think he’ll do that himself with the way he’s drinking.” He chuckled but I didn’t even crack a smile. When he saw that his joke didn’t make me laugh, he wrapped an arm around me and he said. “Did he say something to you?”

“It wasn’t entirely his fault. I went up to him earlier this afternoon when he was down at the bar already shitfaced and we got into a little tuff with each other. Not physical touching mind you, just drunk/sober shouting’s at each other.”

“Yeah, Brian did mention something. And hey, I also came to apologize for what you must’ve heard this morning. I was just incredibly pissed off this morning at seeing some news that I thought was absolute bollocks that I couldn’t take it anymore. On every, fucking channel they kept talking about the same thing over and over and over again.”

“What was it?” I asked.

“Ohh nothing you need concern yourself about darling.”

“Dad I’m 24 years old, I’m not an idiot. Now tell me.”

“God I can never hide anything from you nowadays. Okay, it’s just rumors spreading about Freddie. Just about the stories Prenter once leaked to the press back when Fred fired him. They’re really milking his party life and drug usage.”

“Jesus H. Christ. They got nothing else to live for do they.”

“Not unless it revolves around a juicy gossip chain just to up their paycheck.” I leaned against his shoulder and I felt his head rest on top of mine.

“Leeches they are.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself love. And hey, you know I’ll always love you right?”

“Yeah, of course I know.”

“So never be afraid to come to me again okay, my little lion cub?” I smiled softly.

“You got it, just promise you won’t toss a TV in front of Kelly.”

“I swear that girl will never see my ugly side. Nor shall you.” He leaned his forehead against mine, nuzzling it like a lion would his cub. My smile grew a little wider as I nuzzled him back, our noses rubbing against each other.

“Oi you two! I get your father and daughter and all that but we could use you both for the rehearsals!” Freddie exclaimed ruining our moment.

“I swear I’ll kill him.” Roger hissed.

“Dad please.”

“I know, I know.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and the two of us stood up and we walked towards the guys with an arm wrapped around the other.

As the sun began to set, I could hear the fans already starting to pour into the park. Their cheering and screams of excitement could be heard from behind the stage. I was currently putting on the finishing touches to my makeup before finally just looking at myself through the mirror.

And boy did I look like shit. Guess this tour didn’t just change the guys, but me too. I looked absolutely knackered, there was hardly any life in my eyes left, I looked practically dead, both inside and out.

“Just pray to god this show goes well and that there are now fuckups.” I grabbed my Red special and headed out of my dressing room and onto the stage, my team surrounding me and putting on final touches to my face, outfit or handing me some water bottles. When I met up with the guys, we hardly spoke a word to each other, only just gave each other pats on the shoulders or arm.

Then as always the boys charged right for the stage and the show began.

Same routine, same scheduling, same songs just like we’ve done for this entire tour. But after we performed Radio Gaga, I was standing right behind Freddie and John, right on the lower drum riser’s set and just as I came down I was forced to stop because the next thing I knew, Deacy took off his bass and literally threw it towards the AMPS and broke them before charging off stage.

I stared at John with mixed emotions of anger and shock. I turned to Freddie who looked at me but he came up and we walked out to change our attires for the second part of the act. God I really wanted to confront John about this so badly, but we only had a few minutes to slightly change our clothes before going back on stage, so I thought it’d be best to leave it for after the show.

When the concert finally concluded, as Fred and I began the last verse for “We are the Champions” as we both sung out the second to last line, it was then Freddie turned towards me and gestured for me to take it just like it was back at Live Aid. Again I shook my head and gestured for him to take it but this time the look in his eyes told me to take it. I took a deep breath and held out the last note leaving the guys to rock out.

I shook the tambourine into my mic as I backed away from the stage and soon Freddie came out once again adorned in the king getup. He raised his hand in the air before taking the crown and raising it high. When it was finally all over, and the crowd roared with applause.

“Thank you beautiful people. You’ve been a tremendous and special audience. Thank you very much, goodnight, sweet dreams. We love you.” Freddie spoke as we all came down center stage and waved goodbye to the audience as “God save the Queen” came up and I could hear the audience singing along to our national anthem.

Just as I began to walk away, I felt Fred take my hand and what struck me as odd was when he bestowed the crown upon me this time, it wasn’t just a one hand-silly type thing. This time he held the crown in both his hands and placed the crown on my head, like I was actually being crowned a Queen. He had a brief smile before getting down with his left foot forward and kneeled before me.

I smiled and knighted him thinking this was just another one of his acts in honor for the final day of the tour. After knighting him he stood up and we waved goodbye to the audience once more before finally walking towards backstage. As we all gathered around in Freddie’s dressing room, the three boys seemed hyped and ready to go to the after party.

“That was amazing!” Roger proclaimed as he came up and spun me around in a backwards hug. “And you my dear killed it out there tonight!”

“You were indeed the life of the concert (y/n) dear.”

“Well I mean I can’t take all credit. You guys helped out.”

“There’s no Queen without our Angel,” Brian said.

“And no Angel without her Queen.”

“Alright you guys it’s party time!” Brian and John all proclaimed in agreement before Roger said, “Freddie you in?”

“Yeah, yeah I’ll be right there. I’ll join you in a moment.” Freddie said completely exhausted as he sat down and wiped his face with his towel.

“You alright Fred?” Brian asked.

“Yeah Brian I’m good. I’ll see you out there, I’ll be right behind you.” And with that the three boys all piled out of Fred’s dressing room one by one leaving me, Freddie and Jim alone. I turned to see Jim sit beside Fred and place a hand to his back and I said.

“You sure you’re okay Fred?”

“Of course I am darling. C’mere.” I walked up to him and he took my hands in his and looked up at me with a praiseful look in his eyes. “You my darling, were a star tonight. Seems the Angel has finally surpassed her mentor.”

“No I didn’t……”

“I’m not saying it as an insult. That was literally your best performance ever. Always perform to that level my dear, if not better in the future.”

“Freddie where is this coming from?” I asked him. I was starting to get a little concerned about him. Just the way he was talking and saying these things it’s almost as if he’s—well he’s about to die or something.

“Just the ranting of an old man dear, nothing you need to worry about. Pretty soon you’ll be doing that to the next artist you inspire. Maybe she’ll be your intern that you’ll help make into a rockstar.” I softly laughed.

“Don’t know if that’ll happen.”

“Now go on and enjoy the party. You’ve been needing a chance to finally kick back and relax after the morning you had.”

“Let me guess, Brian told you.”

“And Rog might’ve drilled about giving you an apology for my shouting’s earlier today.”

“I may stay for an hour or two, then I think I may just head home.”

“No, no darling please stay for the boys sake. Maybe even talk to Deacy about what you went through at the hotel.”

“I doubt he’ll listen.”

“You’re his sister from another mister darling. Veronica’s hardly talked to him and what he needs right now is the second most important woman in his life.” I looked at him and saw him giving me the tired but still sweet puppy dog eyes.

“I’ll try to talk to him.”

“That’s my darling angel. Always looking out for her boys.” He said as his left hand reached up and stroked my cheek.

“Oh here’s your crown back.”

“Nah you keep it darling.”

“You serious Fred? It belongs to you.”

“Not anymore, I bequeath it to you now.”

“Are—are you serious?” he nodded.

“Keep it. And please keep it on for the entire party. Less of course you want to break my heart, and I’ll be sure to have Roger send me pictures whether you keep it on or not. If you don’t then you and I will have a serious conversation.” I laughed softly.

“Okay, okay. Thank you Freddie.”

“No (y/n) my love. Thank you.” He stood up and kissed both of my cheeks and then hugged me. I was surprised at first just because of the suddenness of this. And this hug wasn’t like his pervious hugs before. This was a more—longing hug. The kind of hug that people give to one another when one’s going away to war or saying goodbye. “Keep performing my rock angel. The show must go on.”

“Okay Fred.” I said wearily as I hugged him back. “But I’ll still see you for Kelly’s 1st birthday right?”

“Darling I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He said as he separated from me before gently pushing me towards the door. “So long as you and Jack come to my 40th birthday party.”

“I think we can make it. I’m sure mum and Misha wouldn’t mind babysitting Kelly.” I turned back to Freddie and he softly smiled before nodding very softly, then I walked out of his dressing room.

At the end of tour party, I was hardly in the party mood because my sole focus was to find one specific member of Queen. I looked over the crowd of roadies, volunteers who signed up to be apart of the tour and help out for the entire summer, dancers, and everyone far and between that decided to come along.

It wasn’t until I came outside of the building where I found John sitting all alone looking forlorn and out of it. I looked at him before taking a deep breath in and softly exhaled out. I slowly walked towards him and said as calmly as I could.

“Deacy.” He brushed his hand through his curly hair before turning up to look at me.

“If this is another attempt to lecture me, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“I came by because I care about you. And I wanna clear the air after what happened earlier this afternoon.”

“I think what you actually mean to say is that you’re trying to baby me. Like everyone else has been lately. I’m fine just—going through some shit right now but I’m dealing with it!”

“By what? Drinking yourself till you can barely remember anything? Till you eventually what pass out?”

“See this is exactly where you and Veronica are soo much alike.” He hissed. “You both try to put your noses into somewhere where it don’t belong!” God he really could be a cold hearted King of Quick-wits if he wanted, but at this point he was going down the road where so many people including Freddie went down.

“God I don’t even know why I try!?!” I exclaimed standing up. “I’m trying to be the adult here John!”

“Just so you could what? Tell Veronica about what’s been happening to me since a week after we left Budapest? Don’t thing I don’t know you’re snitching off to them!”

“No John! No.” I said as I turned away trying to compose myself. “I do this because…..YOU HAVE 4 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN BACK HOME AND THEY LOVE YOU!! THEY LOVE YOU SOO DAMN MUCH!!” I exclaimed, pointing at him aggressively. I sniffled and sobbed out, “And I don’t want them to go through the same pain I did of losing their dad!”

Silence rang between us as I turned away from him covering my sobs behind my hand.

“(Y/n), sister dear, sister dear no, no, no calm down, calm down, calm down. Hey,” he came up to me. I felt his hands rest on my shoulders but I turned my head away from him.

That’s when he turned my head back towards him and cupped my face in his hands, and this time instead of the harsh eyes, I was met with the broken, yet warm eyes that was my Deacy.

“I’m sorry I’ve been acting like a—bastard to you. It’s just…this tour has been so stressful, there’s things going on back at home and I couldn’t be there so I….I was forced to resort to the only way I knew how to deal with things. In silence by the bottle.”

“And I get that Deacy. We’re all going through some shit.” I said lowly. I looked up into his eyes and whimpered, “But from one orphan girl think about it….if you were to overdose after tonight, where would that leave your kids? Your wife?” even through my own tears, I could see tears forming at the corner of Deacy’s bloodshot eyes.

He immediately hugged me, resting his head on top of mine as his arms wrapped around me and I felt him stroke the back of my head. I sniffled a bit before continuing.

“No matter what it takes, paying for AA meetings, or me walking out of your life for a bit. All I ask is that you do one thing…..don’t make those three wonderful boys and that sweet little girl fatherless!” I pleaded the last part as I looked up at him with tears streaming down my face.

He brought me back into his chest as I softly wept into his chest. He rocked me from side to side and said.

“Okay, okay I will. I just…..hope Veronica forgives me.”

“If it were me and Jack, I think he would eventually. But don’t push her away. You’re each other’s swans.”

“That a—thing you and Jack call yourselves?” he teased.

“It’s romantic don’t tease!”

“No worries. When—Ronnie and I first started dating I….I called her my penguin.”

“Penguin?” I laughed softly.

“They’re her favorite animal don’t tease.”

“I’m not.” I wiped my tears away and looked up at him and he looked down at me. “What do you say you and I ditch this party and go see our families?”

“I wouldn’t mind that. Plus it’d give me time to sober up on the drive and make it up to my sister dear.”

“I’d like that.” I hummed a chuckle. “Very much, brother mine.” He then kissed my forehead and the two of us with a wrapped arm around each other walked back inside to find Brian and Rog and tell them we were gonna go ahead and go. They accepted and wished us a safe drive but not before giving the two of us hugs on a job well done (well I got both hugs and kisses but that’s just Bri and Rog).

Play video at 3:00

I called my driver Louis to come pick us up and he drove us from Stevenage back to London. By the time we reached Deacy’s house it was already 1am. We hugged and kissed each other goodbye and Deacy walked out with his stuff in tow on his way up to his house. I saw him ring the doorbell a few times before the light from upstairs came on.

It was then I saw Veronica open the front door and when she saw her husband standing there, she looked stunned. I saw Deacy talk to her for a bit before she finally embraced him and the two of them kissed each other. As the two of them swayed back and forth and moved around till Ronnie’s back was turned towards me and I saw Deacy look directly at me.

He gave me a smile and a wave in thanks. I smiled back and waved bye to him and watched the two of them enter the house.

“Okay Louis take me home.”

“Can do ma’am.” He said with a smile. Thankfully traffic was on our side so it about 40min. to get there. Finally at 2 in the morning I was greeted by the sight of my home that Bri so kindly gave us after Kelly’s birth. Louie stopped the car and he said. “We’re home Mrs. Kline.”

“Thank you Louis. You are more than welcome to spend the night here if you wish. Lord knows Bri had plenty of bedrooms installed.”

“Thank you very much ma’am.” He turned off the engine and he helped me with my stuff. We both quietly walked in the house and I just told him to leave the stuff near the front door and that I could get it later, while I kept my overnight bag over my shoulder.

“Sweet dreams Louis.”

“Goodnight Mrs. Kline, sweet dreams. And what a wonderful performance you played tonight.”

“Thank you.” I then directed him to one of the guest rooms and he bid me one final goodnight while I quietly walked up the stairs to the main bedroom.

When I walked in, I saw my husband sleeping soundly in the bed and there just at the foot of the bed was baby Kelly in her crib. I quietly set my bag down and walked towards the crib and smiled down at my sleeping daughter. I kissed my index and tall fingers before gently placing them on her cheek.

She softly stirred as she cooed but then she just went back to sleep. I then turned to Jack and walked up towards the bed and slowly sat down before finally lying down. As carefully as I could, I nuzzled his chest and snuggled close to him, humming tiredly. I don’t know whether it was subconsciously or he must’ve been awake for that split second, but I felt Jack’s arm wrap around my waist and pull me close.

A soft smile spread across my face as I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent.

It was at that point I was truly happy. Deacy’s lyrics never rang more true, the ‘I’m happy at home’ line, it speaks a thousand words. I was home, and I couldn’t wait to stay home for a long hiatus.

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