#the 4k version of this is such a win

[astrstqr]

FAME         𓏲          THINGS TO             ! SCRIPT

yoncé speaks: more scripting ideas !! and there’s a lot too lol

and this is part 1

✶　im not underestimated for my talents and abilities

✶　people don't think im "boring"

✶　i don't get overly tired during long performances

✶　always have the best concepts

✶　my performances are considered 100% worth it to go to because i am one of the best performers the industry as seen

✶　i’m always in sync

✶　people become mesmerized by my uniqueness

✶　i have amazing stage presence and facial expressions

✶　no rookie mistakes (bumping into into other dancers, singing other lines etc. etc.)

✶　i learn choreography and lyrics fast

✶　i have my own style musically, dance, and clothing that is hard to copy but easy to recognize

✶　fans never get tired of my music

✶　people love and support me even if they're not a fan of me

✶　never mess up during interviews

✶　no one mispronounces my name

✶　everyone thinks i deserve my fame

✶　i can come up with songs and beats easily

✶　my teasers are good and don’t spoil too much

✶　poses come naturally during photo shoots

✶　all my stage outfits are iconic

✶　no scandals i get in are serious (e.g., accusations, bullying etc. etc.)

✶　all my songs sound good in any language

✶　my voice sounds the same from the studio version to the live version

✶　despite my immense success, i remain down-to-earthand approacable, endering myself to fans through genunie humility

✶　nothing ruins my reputation

✶　my fan cams are always good and in 4k

✶　i have time to breathe after each lyric/line

✶　my outfits are always unique

✶　i win every award i’m nominated for

✶　i never have ugly stage outfits

✶　never gets a black ocean

✶　i can sing, rap, and dance stable on stage even with hard choreography

✶　my stylist knows how style me

✶　i never strain my voice

✶　i can belt effortlessly

✶　i don't get infection / damage to my vocal cords

✶　i have a connected head voice

✶　i can support a large range of notes

✶　i sound good when singing high and low registers

✶　switching pitches isn't hard for me

✶　my high notes aren't strained

✶　can't hear my breathing / huffing through my mics when singing

✶　i have smooth runs

✶　my voice fit every style/ theme

✶　i know have to hit whistle notes

✶　i can hit any note with ease

✶　my voice is never boring to listen to

✶　my voice is supported / resonated

✶　my vocal cords are healthy

✶　singing isn’t hard for me but the opposite

✶　doesn’t take long to finish vocal warm up, because of how controlled my voice already is

✶　i have good stamina and breath control while singing and dancing

✶　i don’t nastily when we sing

✶　my words rhyme easily

✶　i write and produce my own music

✶　my pronunciation when rapping is easy to understand

✶　my raps aren’t weird

✶　i am allowed to cuss in my songs

✶　i don’t slip on our words

✶　my rap lines fit very well in my songs

✶　i have perfect word play

✶　i’m good at freestyle rapping

✶　i can rap in any genre and tone

✶　i have natural raw rapping talent

✶　i have a captivating and distinctive voice full of energy, emphasis and swag

✶　i have incredible flow, speed, and delivery

✶　rapping, singing, and dancing comes easily

✶　i can rap without break for a long time

✶　i can do every singing, rapping, and dance style

✶　my lyrics aren’t cringe

✶　i never stutter

✶　my dancing is satisfying to watch because our moves are smooth, sharp, and fluid

✶　i’m not stiff when dancing

✶　i’m good at dance breakdancing

✶　i don’t feel pressured

✶　i’m comfortable with talking to crowds etc.

✶　i always look gorgeous while dancing and after dancing

✶　i have good footwork

✶　i have good coordination

✶　i never look sloppy when preforming

✶　i have perfect body control

✶　i’m confident when i dance, rap, sing, and preform

✶　i can dance in any clothes and shoes

✶　freestyle dancing come easy to me

✶　i have perfect balance

✶　i’m are never off beat

✶　i don’t have sickled feet

✶　i never hurt myself while dancing

✶　my choreo is always unique

✶　my music videos are always enjoyable, and people love to watch them

✶　my music videos never look cheap, and have great quality

✶　my nerves never get to me

✶　im truly admired as an idol , and its not just a label - theres a genuine reason behind it. among idols, i stand out as someone who geuinely deserves the title

yoncé speaks 2: also sorry for late night post lol, i be bored

[palajae]

hypegirl! | final.

PAIRING ▸ soccer player! niki x afab! reader

GENRE ▸ soccerl! au, roommates!au, she's the man! au, romance, fluff, angst, humor

WORD COUNT ▸ 4k

SUMMARY ▸ all you want is to join the boys’ soccer team. all niki wants is to get minji’s attention. as roommates, what better than to strike a deal and help each other out? nothing really, except for one glaring issue: your blossoming feelings for said roommate. oh, and the fact that you’re technically supposed to be your brother, kim sunoo. 

AKA a hopefully more sfw version of she's the man? 

NOTES ▸ based off she’s the man (2006), reader is sunoo's sister and pretends to be her brother sunoo, gender swap, like one curse word, kissing,— please let me know if there’s any typos!

masterlist. | previous.

I DON’T WANNA FIGHT YOUR SHADOW…

“what? you want to do what?”

niki doesn’t say anything as his head hangs low. he stares at the ground, dark eyebags prominent. 

“niki,” jungwon sighs in exasperation, “let’s think rationally about this. we’ve been working toward this day for weeks. this is it. we can’t make any last minute changes now.” 

“right,” jay chimes in. 

“sunoo’s become a valuable player on the team. we need him. seriously, what could have possibly happened that you suddenly want to kick him off the day of playoffs?” 

niki only shakes his head as the rest of the team exchanges looks. 

“sorry man, but we keep personal business off the field. sunoo’s in, whether you like it or not.” 

sunoo’s worried—to say the least. between you not replying to any of his texts and the current dilemma at hand, he isn’t sure what to do. 

all he can do is clench his trusty flute as his band arrives at your camp. 

it’s hectic, with kids and directors running around attempting to prepare the performance for the game. essentially a perfect chance for sunoo to sneak and snoop around. 

sunoo manages to spot the boys locker room, and he takes his chance. 

the minute he steps in, he’s greeted by the smell of deodorant, grass, and… the mustiness of sport locker rooms. 

guys are everywhere, clothes and gear strewn all over the place as they prepare for the tournament. 

he glances around for any sight of you, not exactly sure what to look for but still keeping an eye out for a smaller figure. sunoo takes about three steps forward, until he yelps. 

he feels an arm roughly pulling him toward the side, and he whips his head around. 

“sunoo-dude, where were you? we were starting to think you weren’t gonna show up! get changed, the first match is gonna start soon.” 

his heart drops. no way, did they think he was-

a jersey is flung at his face. somehow, in the midst of the chaos, face paint is slathered onto his face, effectively concealing his identity even more. 

where were you? 

first match, first half—to everyone’s shock—enhypen’s down. 

most yells are directed at, who’d you least expect, kim sunoo. 

“kim! what are you doing?” 

“pass! no-here! to me! ”

“why are you so slow today?!”

all sunoo can do is apologize while wheezing. he wasn’t built for this. it’s not like he had much of a choice, he was shoved onto the field. 

at one point, jungwon’s eyes flash at him and he visibly shrinks.

“dude, i don’t know what’s going on, but we’re subbing you out.” 

you jump up to the sound of cheers, an announcer yelling—

“and enhypen takes home their first win with a great comeback in the second half!”

enhypen? win? comeback?

you scramble to your feet, heart racing. 

crap. what time was it?

you pat your pockets to no avail. 

that’s right—your phone was left in your dorm…that you couldn’t access because niki kicked you out. 

more cheers from outside bring you back to your current situation. you overslept since you didn’t have your phone alarm. 

the tournament started. enhypen played and won their first match, without you. 

you frown, scrambling to get to the stadium. who in the world played for you? 

once you make it past the crowd of people, coaches, and players, you scan the field. 

and your mouth drops open. 

on the opposite side of the soccer field, sitting on the bench right in front of you, was kim sunoo. the real one, your brother. 

he was decked out in face paint and—

was that your uniform? 

somehow, you manage to make eye contact. you begin mouthing words furiously at him, only for him to point at the crowd. 

frowning, you turn around toward the audience and performing band. you squint. 

your mouth drops again. because there in the crowd, sitting in the middle row right in front of you, were your parents.

immediately, you turn around and flee toward the locker rooms, signaling for sunoo to follow while everyone was still distracted with your team’s win. 

you don’t even get to take a single step when the announcer clears his throat to say something. 

“attention everyone! enhypen is disqualified. they must forfeit this match and immediately report to the main office.” 

gasps and protests immediately ring out. 

you hide behind a water cooler, gauging the guys reactions. they all look confused and upset. 

niki stalks over to the camp director and coach, where an unimpressed taehyun stands with his arms crossed. 

“what’s going on? why do we have to forfeit? we won fair and square, there’s no-“

“i wouldn’t count lying and having a girl on your team as fair and square, nishimura.”

the whole team outbursts, while your coach sighs, rubbing his hand over his face. 

the director eyes sunoo, “we have pretty good reason and evidence to believe that kim sunoo is not who he—or she—states they are.” 

sunoo immediately stands up as the rest of the team gapes at him.

“females are not allowed at this camp, let alone allowed on a team to play in the final championships.”

taehyun nods. he had found too many irregularities with you, kim sunoo. the conversations with your mom, video footage of you sneaking into the locker rooms as a guy and exiting as a girl, and the fake sideburns and eyebrows in the trash can. 

niki stands still, hands clenched as he glares at sunoo. 

he can hear the rest of the guys whispering in disbelief.

“this makes no sense. how could he be a girl after all this time?”

“and no one noticed…”

“—this is absurd.”

the announcer sighs, and speaks up once more to the entire stadium. “i apologize once again to the crowd and opponent team for the inconvenience. enhypen will be removed from the tournament due to dishonesty and lack of regards for the rules. 

i do not want to repeat it—no females are allowed to play on any team for any reason whatsoever!”

you gasp, covering a hand over your mouth. you were still partially hidden, and you know if you were found, it would be over. 

sunoo sighs, facing the guys and camp director. 

“put enhypen back in the game. we didn’t break any rules. i’m not a girl.” 

taehyun’s eyes narrow. “you can’t lie your way out of it again. we have all the evidence we need.”

sunoo gestures out grandly, toward your team and the crowd. 

“do i have to spell it out to you? i’m a guy. this is ridiculous. what, you want me to prove i’m not a girl? i’ll pull down my pants or-“

clamor follows, but it’s stopped by a desperate yell. 

you watch from afar, as your parents stalk up to the director. your mother, as expected, seems adamant as she validates her son’s words. 

“excuse me, but there seems to be an issue with my son, here. there’s no possible way you would be doubting his identity?”

“ma’am, we have submitted evidence that your son sunoo is actually a-“

“and so do i. would you like to see his birth certificate? i didn’t pay for my son to attend this camp to simply get disqualified for a ridiculous accusation.”

after a few minutes of deliberation, against taehyun’s protests, the director sighs and rubs his hands together. you hold your breath. the verdict?

“we apologize for our mistake—enhyphen is not disqualified and will be moving on to the next round. let the next match commence!”

you watch your team breathe a sigh of relief, clapping sunoo on the back. but your gaze can’t seem to stay off of niki. he stays off to the side, fists still clenched. he hasn’t looked or said a single word to sunoo—you. 

you know him, there’s a storm brewing inside. 

and it’s all because of you. 

you see the crowd return to normal, your mom furiously spewing nonsense as your parents walk back to their seats. 

you nod at your brother, this is your chance. 

you run towards an empty hallway, waiting for your brother to bring you your clothes. 

“sorry,” sunoo heaves, “they’re sweaty.”

“it’s okay,” you grab them and shut the unused closet door behind you. “i’m used to it by now.”

sunoo waits outside the old janitor closet, keeping watch as you change and exchange identities, once again. 

once you exit, sunoo’s eyes widen.

“wow, you look exactly like me.” 

you smirk. “and you’re horrible at soccer.”

he shoves you softly and you laugh. “thanks bro. i really owe you one for saving me out there.”

he nods, “anything for my sister. i need to sneak back to the band though. let me know if you need anything and good luck.” 

you hug him quickly. “of course.” the confidence that surged through you as you walked back toward the field, knowing your brother had your back, empowers you. 

“guys,” you call out, “i’m back. what’s going on?”

some of the guys still send you weird looks, but you ignore it. niki’s still ignoring you, and it makes a dreadful feeling grow in the pit of your stomach. 

the matches were cut down in order to fit all of them in one day and preserve the player’s energies. 

but your team was excelling. you had already advanced to the semifinals, as expected. with you back and eager to play, the team was running smoothly. 

after winning your third match, jay and heeseung high five you. 

“nice, sunoo. i don’t know what happened to you during the first game, but you redeemed yourself.” you cough, muttering some lame excuse. 

everything was going great, all except for one person. every break, time out, the whole time, niki acted as if you didn’t exist. 

in the middle of the game, you would keep up with him, waiting for him to pass the ball. but niki being the stubborn person he was, ignored you and tried to keep going even when you were open.

mistakes were costly, and you could feel the tension building up. the other guys were getting agitated, you could tell, but he wouldn’t budge. 

you kept telling yourself, one more match. all you needed to do was win one more match and that would be it. 

it was nearing the end of the day. everyone was sweaty and exhausted. half the crowd had left, but your parents were still there, cheering for their son meanwhile in reality, he was playing in the band a few meters away in the stands and their daughter was on the field. 

the final match was occurring, enhypen vs. zerobaseone. you knew, it wasn’t going to be easy. not with an uncooperative niki. 

and by the first half, you were right. after calling out niki so many times to pass the ball and receiving nothing in response, everyone was on edge. 

the score was still 0-0. several times niki would get the ball stolen or make the ball go out, all while ignoring you. you swear he even tripped you at one point. 

at halftime, your coach and teammates were fed up too. “come on, niki. get your head in the game!”

“what’s going on with you and sunoo today?”

“you’re costing us too many opportunities. kim’s open and you’re obviously not giving it to him for a reason! figure it out, nishimura.” 

all he does is shake his head, chugging water and staying silent. 

you’re tired. your coach shakes his head in frustration, muttering off about personal issues.  

the team is completely off balance, and everyone can feel it. 

but only you can do something about it. 

with heavy breaths, you match up to niki in front of the whole team. 

“nishimura riki!” you call out his real name, causes him to react for a second with the slight widening of his eyes before he reverts to his cold facade again. 

“why are you doing this right now? we’re a team, now that we got so far, don’t you want to win?

“maybe you should’ve thought about that before lying to me and breaking our friendship,“ he replies ruthlessly.  

you sigh, pinching your nose bridge, “it wasn’t my intention to do so! i never had any intention of doing so, and i never will! i don’t like minji and i never tried to get with her.”

you exhale, trying to calm yourself while the whole team was watching. 

“i will never like minji.”

he scoffs, “why should I believe you after everything?”

“because the whole time i’ve been genuine. you’re one of my closest friends i’ve made here at the camp. if i really wanted to date minji, i would have told you that. you know i tried my best to help you,” your voice cracks at the last sentence. 

he looks confused for a second before his eyes harden. 

“whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore. i can’t trust anything you say or do now.”

you grab his arm, desperate. 

“we’ve been honest about everything, haven’t we? i don’t want to lose you, and i don’t want our team to lose this chance of winning. i don’t care about minji. i could prove it right now.”

he challenges you, eyes dark. just like he had since the first day. 

“how? how will you prove it?” 

you close your eyes, taking in a deep breath. you decided this was your chance to let it all out. after this, you would go home anyway. whether you would be forced back to your old, mundane life as your mother wanted was up to the future. you open your eyes, finally feeling like yourself as you begin taking off the fake sideburns, eyebrows, and finally, the wig. 

“like i said, i don’t care about minji.”

you finally untie your hair and shake it out free. 

“i care about you.” 

with an eruption of shocked gasps and whispers, you falter. perhaps you should have waited until after the final game. your true identity and appearance were revealed. everything was out in the open.  

niki states blankly at you, chest heaving. 

you think you faintly hear your parents shriek your name. ignoring them, you step closer to him. 

“i’m sorry. i’m sorry that i lied to you about this. but please believe me when i say i’m y/n, and i never meant to hurt you. so for right now, can we save this for later and just focus on beating the crap out of our opponents?”

you take the chance to glance around, seeing everyone’s shocked expressions.

silence falls as your coach speaks up, “this is illegal…”

you glance away, unable to say or do anything. 

what you don’t expect is the team’s clamors, especially from jungwon who you abruptly make eye contact with. 

he’s the first to speak up and advocate for you staying on the team. 

“coach we all knew the rules… but we can’t not let her play after she’s proven herself all this time.”

“it’s unfair to deny her the right to play after she’s been working so hard this entire season with us!”

as the rest of the boys join in, your coach looks helplessly at the director. soon enough, people from the audience join in too. 

you can’t help the hopeful smile that breaks out on your face, seeing your parents still in shock yet not disapproving.  

after a couple of minutes of deliberation (and your internal praying and pleading) along with the crowd and band’s support, the camp director begrudgingly allows you to play. 

the guys cheer, clapping you on the back and high-fiving you. all except niki, who still lingers at the side with an unreadable expression. 

then, it’s time to play. 

it feels different, already. you feel different—with the wind blowing your hair behind you and the ability to speak in your normal voice, act as your normal self.

no, to be your normal self.

you ran faster, spotted clearer, worked harder. you felt renewed. 

and once you saw the opening, with three minutes left, you glance at niki desperately. you hoped you conveyed everything in your face at that split second, like extending your arm out and hoping he would help you up from the ground. 

niki cleanly passes the ball to you, just so you can score a final goal. 

you don’t even realize it, once the final whistle blows, you almost collapse onto the grass. 

roars erupt in the air, people around you lift you up and throw you around. yet, your eyes are only on one figure to your left. somehow, in all the commotion, niki grabs your hand in happiness. then he realizes the situation and your grip is broken by your ecstatic team. 

your eyes lock for a moment before niki turns away, head slightly shaking and you frown. 

you won. but at what cost? 

on the last day of camp, after surprisingly receiving a lot of praise from your parents on your performance (as well as an apology from keeping you and sunoo from your respective passions), you finish packing up everything. 

when you got back to the dorms last night, niki was sleeping with the lights off and his back to you. you were still hurt, but at least he let you back into your room. 

you pack up silently, in case he was sleeping. 

even if he was asleep, you speak up softly. 

“i’m sorry. i’m really, really sorry niki….”

his shadowy figure remains unmoving. 

“i-i hope you know everything i ever said and did was genuine. at least, to me it was. i li-“ you bite the words back on your tongue. 

“i cared about you a lot. i care about you a lot. i’ll cherish this summer forever. thank you for the best memories. thank you for changing my life completely. thank you for being you, riki.” 

figuring that anything you two had was over, you got your stuff ready to go while blinking away the tears. 

during the final breakfast, you talked to minji and apologized. she took it much better than you expected, promising to keep in touch as real friends now with no hard feelings left. 

the boys on your team were just as quick to warm up to you. besides consoling you over niki, they promised to keep in touch as well. you were more than glad and appreciative to have friends and soccer mates. 

in your daze, reflecting over the course of the last day or so, you feel your phone vibrate. 

[11:36 am] sunbro: we’re on our way back  

[11:37 am] sunbro: better hurry up if you’re not packed and ready!

you gather your stuff and say your final goodbyes to your coaches, friends, and finally, the camp. 

you’re happy and sad to be leaving it all behind. maybe until next year now that they decided to let girls join this soccer camp. 

with your heavy bags, you trudge along your way outside. you stared around at the campus for the last time by yourself. 

it was strange to have some peace and quiet without the ruckus of the soccer camp and guys. one last attempt to capture everything one last time—one of your most memorable and life changing summers. 

and maybe a tiny bit of you was searching, holding onto that little piece of hope just to see that one person’s face for the last time. 

but it’s silent. you come to a slow when you reach the gates, gathering your stuff to head out. 

now you wait. you wait to leave with much more than you entered with. 

sighing, you freeze when you hear shuffling, the sound of… footsteps approaching you?

you don’t want to get your hopes up, but you hold your breath. 

turning around, you see him. 

your grip on the suitcase squeezes harder. 

he looks divine, comfy in his last day fit that wasn’t his jersey or training uniform. 

“hey,” he starts off. 

“hi,” you breathe. for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to meet his intense gaze.

niki doesn’t say anything at first, so you take the chance to speak up. 

“what’s up? i figured… you wouldn’t want anything to do with me.”   

hands shoved in his pockets, he fidgets on his feet. a tiny smile appears on your face. 

“i don’t know, there’s a lot i’ve been thinking about.”

your chest tightens. “i see. d-do you want to share?” you finally look him in the eye and it’s like time freezes. 

niki isn’t able to handle seeing you like this, your real self. he thought you were too pretty for your own good. too good at pretending to be a guy and too good at making him react like this without even doing anything. without even knowing. 

he thought it was over too. but after he heard what you said that night after the championships, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. about the entire summer with you. this time, he wouldn’t let you slip away from him like you did at the fair.

niki glances down, taking a few steps closer as your eyes widen. “i miss my roommate who was also one of my closest friends. i really, really liked him. but i also really, really like the girl i met at the fair. she was beautiful, charming, uplifting.”

you place a hand over your chest, “i think they feel the same way,” you whisper. 

“i’m really sorry that i didn’t tell you,” you start off, “i was afraid of getting caught-and of all the consequences, so i tried to hide and cover everything up. it was incredibly selfish of me to hurt others, you, without realizing it. i’m so sorry.”

niki reaches a hand out to grab yours, “yeah, you hurt me. but you also healed me. in more ways than you think. i think, if you hadn’t snuck in as a guy, we would have never met and gotten as close as we did. you really changed my life too.” 

he says your name, and you look at him. hesitantly, fearfully. 

as if you would mess it all up again and he would leave you once more. 

you swallow. 

“everything we did together as friends, as someone i wasn’t, just made me like you even more as myself.” 

he takes a step closer. 

“is there any chance we could start over?”

niki chuckles and you feel your face getting hot.

“i’m nishimura riki. and you are?”

you stare down at his offered hand in shock. 

it takes only a second for you to proudly state your name, reaching a hand out to meet his. 

“a pretty name for a pretty face.”

you flush. where did this side of niki come from? 

“it’s very nice to meet you,” he adds, “quite nice. almost an honor after all the things i heard about you, well, from yourself-“ 

you shove niki. there was his playful side again. you relax a little seeing him be more like his old self. 

although, he catches your arm and quickly pulls you into him. 

you almost yelp, wide eyes boring into his playful ones. it feels comfortable in his embrace, almost like home. 

the distance between you two closes, smiles on your faces growing as you feel your heartbeats collide when his lips finally touch yours. 

“bye mom! i’ll text you later, sunoo!”

your mom yells for you to be careful as you slam the door shut behind you (not without giving your brother a quick hug on the way out).

you carry your duffel bag on one arm as you head over to the waiting vehicle, with a particularly dashing man inside. 

he, however, gets out as you run towards him. he picks you up and spins you around as you laugh at his excitement—it was his favorite sound that he could never get enough of.

he places a sweet kiss on your lips and you smile happily at him. 

“you ready to play, babe?”

“as ready as i’ll ever be, bro.” 

“you totally just did not call your loving, awesome, superior boyfriend that…”

“but i did?” you raise an eyebrow as to challenge him, “and you’re gonna accept it because you like me too much.” 

with a sigh, your boyfriend heeds your words as he always does. 

niki’s arms stay forever wrapped around you and your soccer bag as he awkwardly walks the both of you to your side of the car. 

“whatever, let’s just go kick some ass.” 

“oh, you bet i will.”

a/n ▸ hi guys... surprise?? yes, i'm alive. i was in the hospital for a little and really needed to focus on my health so i decided to take a break. i apologize for the longass wait on the ending of this series, so i crammed to get it done :) thank you as always for the support and love. i appreciate all the feedback <3 i'll be trying to get back on a better, more consistent schedule so see you guys soon again!

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[tracksuitponytail]

A huge thank you to all the wonderful writers in this fandom for sharing your stories and providing us with a place to retreat through your words and visions. The fics mentioned in this post represent only a small selection of the amazing works out there.

🍂 hard times in elmsmere by @stylinsoncity [E, 37k, friends to lovers]

in elmsmere, a vampire’s need for blood is only awakened after their first feed. and with their first taste of the vein comes strength, speed and in louis’ case, raging bloodlust for harry, his best mate since the age of three. for louis, being a full-fledged vampire complicates everything, not just his relationship with harry but with harry’s entire coven who took Louis in as an orphan.

he’s struggling enough to adjust to life in the present when an older version of harry magically appears to him and requests his help in the future.

🍂 Oh My, My, My by brightlouis / @sheherlestat [E, 27k, porn star au]

Harry has been working in the adult entertainment industry for years. He’s seen it all— or at least he thinks he has. When he starts working for Sweet Creature, an ethical indie porn studio, he meets Louis. Filming together proves difficult when feelings are involved. Featuring: a little pink bungalow, summertime sunlight, Zayn as the director, Liam as his video-editor boyfriend, and Niall as the aloof roommate.

🍂 Be with me so happily by BriaMaria / @briannamarguerite [E, 42k, enemies to lovers]

The one where Harry Styles has a bad reputation and a heart of gold, and Louis Tomlinson wishes he wasn't so enchanted by boys who looked like Disney characters and wore shirts with bumble bees on them.

[aka Louis is the director of the Styles Elephant Sanctuary and really doesn't want to babysit his funder's spoiled lay-about son for two months]

🍂 Home Remedies by @kingsofeverything [E, 4k, friends to lovers]

Louis’ hiccups just won’t stop. Harry, his roommate and best friend, is willing to do anything to help.

🍂 Battle Cry by Velvetoscar / @mizzwilde [NR, 21k, university AU]

Harry's got a heart, a soul, and a band. And with that, obviously, comes a future paved in great success, right? So all he has to do is win the Battle of the Bands, right? Simple.

What's not so simple is the fact that Louis Tomlinson is his biggest competition. And also happens to be made of everything that Harry's ever wanted.

No... That's not simple at all.

🍂 Coração selvagem by Stria (Asia117) / @nooradeservedbetter [E, 50k, omegaverse]

Louis' life in his newfound Pack gets disrupted by an old flame coming back for him, shifted and feral. 

🍂 Home calls the heart by @itsmotivatingcara [E, 44k, enemies to lovers]

A series of unfortunate events lands Louis Tomlinson in the heart of Texas.

After running from his life in London and a performative marriage, he leaves a scandal in his wake.

Home calls the heart, as his Nana always said. Though her words couldn't be truer when he decides to take up her offer to watch over Hyacinth ranch while she travels abroad.

He figured the worst he'd have to deal with would be the meddlesome goats, some repairs and an errant spirit or two. That is, until the gorgeous Cowboy next door makes his presence known.

🍂 Reduce Me To A Pleading Cry (Break The Skin and Tantalize) by @taggiecb [E, 37k, bdsm]

Harry is a broody submissive boss, Louis is a natural dom who works in the mail room at Styles & Styles, Niall is a matchmaking oracle, and a slender, dark haired man stands mute at the coffee stand encouraging others to spill their secrets.

🍂 Colorful Hearts by @larrysmomfics [M, 20k, crack fic]

In a world where orgasmic emissions change color depending on the person’s mood, Louis Tomlinson’s semen has only ever been blue. At the recommendation of his doctor he attends a support group for people with similar conditions. The leader of Colorful Hearts, a therapist named Harry, is positively swoonworthy and sets Louis at ease right away. Needless to say that Louis isn’t aware yet that so much more than the color of his spunk is about to change.

🍂 Black Leather, Blue Lace by @insightfulinsomniac [E, 8k, soulmates, exhibitionism]

Two weeks ago, Louis met his soulmate on the way to his sister's birthday brunch. Now, it's finally time to introduce his - self proclaimed - "city girl" partner to his best friends and fellow farmhands. What better way to spend a summer evening with the people he loves than by hosting a bonfire, complete with s'mores and hayrides?

It's even better when your soulmate is an exhibitonist who agrees to fuck on the hayride under a blanket in front of all of your oldest friends.

[omgfangirlland]

About the last thing of Bruce retiring Damian as Robin, your so right, Robins never listen to him.

Damian would fight tooth and Nail to still see his sister I'm gonna guess, very nice, very cutesy, very demure.

And it would be nicer if Jon was the one dropping the bomb, I would get crushed if the kid I meet not only lied to me but it's also son of the death beat that I had and worst the knowledge gets through TV?! I would be fucking crushed.

But also TV is angst material.

This is very relatable, this happened once with one of my friends lmao.

-Nameless 💜

I'm going to answer both in one-

No, honestly- all robins listened only when they wanted to. Bruce's words means nothing to these chaos gremlins.

Speaking of Damian fighting tooth and nail- but imagine after he's held prisoner(grounded for a week from extracurricular activities and a month from robin work) he texts batsis like "I know you hate me but I'm being held prisoner by our condomless harlot due to trying to connect with you. Help." Batsis will see that and immediately think it's actual abuse due to the way it's worded- that's a new low... time to kidnap a teen ig.

The TV is going to be another blow to the head for the mc- Imagine, not only did this kid and TALIA, who batsis grew somewhat fond of lie to her face, but she found out by watching some gossip talk show from a paparazzi filming Bruce being a sweet parent to Damian, full hd 4k ultra. Like a compilation of Bruce carrying Damian from age 10 to now? When he wouldn't even touch her?? Imediate crashout.

Jon is going to try and mend it anyway- the boy doesn't like how cold Bruce was to her, especially since he's seen how soft he is with the others- I mean, he still let's Dick use him like a climbing wall, but he couldn't pay some attention to his daughter?? Memaw Kent would call him all sorts of things. And Damian is truly trying his best to have a bond with his big sis-

BTW, insane lore drop there, my friend :)))

YESSSS CONNER KENT

My first Conner was the Conner from Young Justice animated serial- I didn't like him very much :)) Then I found the og and saw a version of him in the reign of supermen, and I was sold like warm bread in the middle of the week, that's my Kon El.

Two punks meeting, sharing trauma due to two fathers who were negligent at different levels, one of the two being a billionaire? Instant bond.

Kon and Batsis:

and then he finds out it's Bruce Wayne-

And it just gets worse the more she speaks, because what do you mean mr sunshine dick grayson was an ass and tim was kind of a bully? He's gonna have a looong talk with Tim.

It'll be a mess, but at least Kon can bully Bats while Batsis bullies Lex- a win win in the end.

[a-killer-obsession]

Brat [Kid x Killer x OC Nina]

Commissioned by @dissvicious

CW: third person pov, intox, recreational drug use, spanking, brat taming, blow job, vaginal fingering, anal fingering, threesome (f/m/m), very light bondage, double penetration (v + a), creampies, multiple orgasms, inappropriate use of devil fruit

WC: 4k

Masterlist || Comissions Info

The Kid Pirates gathered in the dining hall of the Victoria Punk, celebrating an overwhelming win against a ship full of marines who dared to think they could defeat the crew of the great Eustass “Captain” Kid. The raised platform where the commanders usually sat to dine had been cleared off, replaced with various instruments being played by a rotation of crewmates, filling the hall with music ranging from punk rock to heavy metal. Some of the usual dining tables had been cleared as well to make space for dancing and drinking, some crewmates opting to position their chairs in circles for drinking games and conversations, while others sat at the remaining tables to pick at the scraps of the feast or lose their share of the loot in gambling games. The four commanders sat together, passing around a joint and retelling their perspectives from the battle just been.

“Where's pinky?” Heat asked, before taking a hit of the joint and passing it along to Wire.

“Nina?” Killer replied, “she wanted to get the blood off her chainsaw before it got too dry and crusty, she should be out soon.”

“Maybe she finally fucked off,” Kid grumbled. It was no secret that Kid had a stick up his ass ever since Nina and Killer had gotten together. “Good fuckin' riddens.”

“Kid we're in the middle of the fucking ocean,” Killer sighed, “where would she go? Can you at least pretend to like Nina? For me?”

“They're a bratty little friend stealing bitch,” Kid snapped, yanking the joint from Wire's hand and hogging it, “should've kicked her off the ship when I had the chance.”

“Like you could get rid of me if you tried,” Nina teased, pinching the joint from a surprised Kid and making herself comfortable in Killer's lap. Killer wrapped his arms around her waist to steady her, bumping his mask softly against the side of her head in a makeshift version of a kiss. “Sorry I took so long, lion,” Nina cooed, scratching Killer's goatee, “fuckin’ chains were all gunked up with some asshole's brain matter.”

“Do you have to do that PDA shit here?” Kid rolled his eyes, trying and failing to snatch back the joint. Heat sighed and pulled another from the tin he kept in his pocket, handing it to the disgruntled captain.

“I'm literally just sitting,” Nina feigned innocence, taking a long hit of the joint. She held it up by the burning end so Killer could lean forward and slot it through one of the holes in his mask, leaning back as Nina returned the joint to her own lips, clouds of smoke filtering out of several of Killer's mask holes.

“On Killer,” Kid grumbled, “you look like a common whore.”

“First of all, thanks,” Nina said with an exhale of smoke before handing the joint to Heat, having caught up to the others with a nice buzz now, “secondly, would you say the same if I was on Heat's lap?”

“You're not keeping Heat away from my bed,” Kid complained.

“Heat goes to your bed?” Nina laughed, while Wire and Killer stifled their own snorts, “Nice.”

“No that's- that's not my fuckin point!” Kid replied in a fluster, a flush of red on his cheeks.

“Maybe I'm colourblind,” Nina teased, “cos you're lookin real fuckin green there, Kid.”

“You sayin’ I'm jealous?” Kid scoffed, “Of you?”

“That's exactly what I'm saying,” Nina replied confidently, “you just can't stand that Killer wants to spend his time with me.”

“You're fuckin hogging him!” Kid yelled.

“Kid…” Killer warned, exchanging a concerned look with Wire and Heat as they felt the tension in the air rising.

“He's a grown man,” Nina shouted back as she got up, getting ready to fight, “he can do what he wants.”

“And you're a thieving fucking bitch!” Kid barked as he stood too, trying to look intimidating, not that the comparatively tiny woman was at all frightened by him.

“KID!” Killer got up in a hurry, putting himself between the two.

“No, it's not fair!” Kid complained to Killer, “Ever since you two shacked up you spend all your time with them! You haven't fucked me in weeks!”

“Maybe you're just not as special as you thought you were,” Nina replied cruelly. Killer took a deep breath, knowing that the argument had just hit the point of no return.

“What the fuck did you just say to me, bitch?” Kid snapped, trying to get at Nina but held away by Killer, “I'm the future King of Pirates, you're nothing but some discarded bratty bitch playing at pirates!”

“You're about to be King of the Shark Shit, you thick skulled cunt,” she spat back, “when I send you to the fucking seabed!”

“Okay can we calm down and talk about this please?” Killer sighed. It's times like this he wished he wasn't wearing his mask so he could pinch the bridge of his nose where a headache was quickly forming.

“Like this bolts for brains would understand a word I say,” Nina scoffed, “Hey Kid - Me, Killer girlfriend. You, pigheaded cunt. Got it?”

“Fuck you!” Kid screamed. Now Wire and Heat had to get involved as well, struggling to hold the redhead back.

“Bite me!” Nina bit back.

“Stop it, both of you!” Killer yelled, “You're acting like fucking children!”

“Just fucking bang already,” Wire said under his breath, “fucking hell.”

“What did you fucking say?” Kid's head snapped in Wire's direction, the taller man not at all phased by his angry expression. Wire was observant, perhaps the only one who had noticed that it was Killer the captain was jealous of, not Nina.

“Nothing boss,” Wire replied flatly, “just that maybe you and Nina would get along better if you put that energy elsewhere.”

“He's got a point,” Killer hummed. He too had his suspicions about where Kid's feelings really lay, “it would solve the sharing issues…”

“Like this brute could make me cum,” Nina scoffed with a heavy eye roll. Did she want to fuck Kid? Absolutely, but she'd rather fuck her chainsaw than admit her attraction to the goop-brained asshole. “I doubt he even knows where the clit is. Probably why Killer prefers me over you, bet that mouth isn't good for anything except talking shit.”

“Oh I'll make you fuckin’ cum alright,” Kid purred, liking the idea of fucking the attitude out of Nina more and more by the second, “I'll have you screaming my fuckin’ name, just like Kil does.”

“Like I'd let a caveman like you get a taste of me,” Nina teased, turning to wiggle her ass in a seductive manner at Kid, knowing it would rile him up. She wanted to see how far he'd go with his threats. Her hands teased down Killer's front, looking over her shoulder at Kid to challenge him, hands moving possessively over Killer's toned chest as though to say ‘this is mine, what are you gonna do about it?”

“Alright, that's quite enough out of you,” Killer sighed, picking Nina up and throwing her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes as she squeaked in protest. He didn't like being used as a pawn in the middle of whatever this weird sexual tension going on between her and Kid was. Killer began walking away with his angry passenger, looking back at Kid who stood in the same spot as he had been, trying to not let it show that Nina's teasing had in fact had an effect on him. “You coming or not?”

“Ey?” Kid replied, confused.

“You got her riled up, you're gonna deal with her,” Killer replied sternly, making Kid forget for a second who the captain was. “She's being a fucking brat because of your inability to keep your mouth shut, and I don't have the energy for that right now, so you're gonna fix it.”

“He's the fucking brat!” Nina shouted, trying to fight her way off Killer's shoulder but unable to compete with his strength.

“You and I both know that's not true, princess,” Killer replied, continuing his warpath to his room. Kid followed behind, not getting to close since Nina was facing him, and she looked like she wanted to claw his eyes out. He followed Killer inside the first mate's private quarters, closing and bolting the door behind them as Killer dumped Nina unceremoniously on the bed, her body bouncing slightly on impact. She scrambled on the mattress like she was making to attack Kid, but Killer quickly grabbed her, pulling her by her ankles until she was bent over his lap.

“You weren't being nice out there,” Killer sighed, yanking down Nina's shorts and panties without warning. She and Kid suddenly went shy as Nina's ass was laid bare, the two of them not looking at each other. “Count.” Killer said plainly as he raised his hand and brought it down on Nina's ass, the clap of skin on skin echoing in the room. Nina whimpered in pain and arousal, Killer knew exactly what he was doing. It was punishment, but it was also foreplay to get her more comfortable with Kid. “Nina,” Killer growled when she didn't reply.

“No!” She spat back. Killer smacked her again, harder this time, leaving an obvious handprint on her soft ass. “One,” she whimpered. She knew better than to say ‘two’, when she hadn't correctly counted the first smack. Killer administered four more, Nina obediently counting each. At five he pushed her off his lap and stood, leaving her confused, and a little under sated. “You usually go to ten?” She asked, disappointed.

“Kid will do the rest,” he explained, gesturing for Kid to take his place on the bed. The captain hesitantly did so, and Nina was immediately bent over his lap by the blonde. She could feel his large erection under her belly, but it only served to flare her aggression. Killer saw the spark of rebellion in her eyes, and knelt in front of her face, running his fingers through her fringe and making a fist to pull it tight, forcing her head up. “Behave,” he warned. Nina furrowed her brows and spat at him, the saliva dripping down his mask. “Ten more it is then, on top of the five you have left. Kid.”

Killer had been careful to make sure Nina's ass was facing Kid's flesh hand, and he brought it down eagerly, his cock twitching as Nina whined. She refused to give in though, and Kid growled at the lack of counting and spanked her twice more. She squirmed and whimpered, but refused to give up on her defiance.

“No good,” Killer clicked his tongue, squeezing Nina's face between his thumb and fingers so her lips pursed, “we'll just have to fuck it out of her, till she's too fucked dumb to have an attitude.”

He grabbed Nina by the hair again and threw her on the bed, pulling off her goggles and shoes, pulling her shorts and panties the rest of the way off, and tearing her shirt open to free her tits. He was being rough, but he knew Nina would use her safe word if he went too far. He wrapped his hand around her neck as he climbed onto the bed, using his other hand to unfasten his sash and binding her hands with it. “Fuck, Kil,” Kid grinned, “you sure the tiny thing can take this sort of treatment?”

“She'll say ‘chainsaw’ if she wants us to stop,” Killer replied, unfastening his pants and pulling his hard cock free. He grabbed Nina by her hair again and pulled her onto all fours, her ass pointed at Kid, who had to hold back a groan as he got his first look at her cunt. “Put that mouth of yours to better use,” Killer instructed, tapping the head of his cock against Nina's firmly closed lips. She scowled up at him, refusing to give him what he wanted. “Nina, open,” he commanded. When she refused still he pinched her nose shut with a frustrated sigh, until she had no choice but to open her mouth to breathe. He forced his cock in her mouth as soon as her lips parted, making her whine, but she accepted her fate and started to bob her head on his cock. She was so addicted to him that once she got that first taste, she couldn't deny him any longer. “See there, Kid?” Killer hummed, “you just have to be firm with her. Quit standing there gawking, play with her cunt or something. You wanna fuck her or not?”

Kid, who had been not so casually palming himself over his pants, eagerly stepped forward, climbing onto the bed and kneeling behind Nina. He admired the red prints on her ass, giving her a softer, more playful slap that made her groan on Killer's cock, before soothing over the flesh with his cool metal hand. He spread her cheeks apart, labia shifting as he did so, exposing the glistening folds between. He ran two fingers down her wet cunt, before giving her no mercy and pushing two thick fingers inside her.

“Fuck!” Nina cried out, pulling off Killer's cock, “fat fucking fingers, be careful!”

“Yer fuckin’ dripping,” Kid gawked, “needy fucking slut.”

“No shit fuckass,” Nina bit back, "you gonna do something about it or not?”

“Keep talking shit and I'll show you fuck ass,” Kid warned, making her pussy squelch as he pumped her with his fingers, enjoying the way her gummy wet walls squeezed around him.

“Bet,” Nina struggled to get out between stifled moans, “I wouldn't even feel your tiny baby carrot fucking me, I've taken shits bigger than your cock.”

“What, is that a challenge?” Kid growled, “Cos I'll fuck yer ass till you can't sit if you don't watch yer fuckin’ mouth. You'll be feeling it for the next three fuckin’ weeks.”

“Then I guess I'm gonna keep talking shit,” Nina spat back, using her bound hands to jack Killer off, not wanting him to feel ignored. Killer would have forced his cock back in her mouth by now, but he wanted to see where this was going.

“You want me to fuck your ass?” Kid asked with a raised brow.

“How else am I gonna take both of you?” Nina replied, like they were both fucking stupid.

“I just assumed we'd spit roast you,” Kid exchanged a questioning look with Killer, who shrugged in response.

“Spit roasting is for pussies,” Nina growled, “do you think I'm a pussy?”

“No..” Kid replied sheepishly.

“Good, so shut the fuck up and fuck me already,” Nina spat, rocking backwards to fuck herself on Kid's fingers since he'd momentarily stopped moving them, “I want my holes filled, get to it, I’m gonna dry up from old age over here.”

“Fuckin brat,” Kid grumbled, pulling his fingers out of Nina and smacking her reddened ass, “Kil, you got lube?”

”Who do you think I am, of course I have lube,” he rolled his eyes under his mask, leaning back to rummage in the top drawer of his side table, “You want plain or strawberry?”

“Plain is fin-” Kid started.

‘Strawberry!” Nina cut him off.

“He didn't ask you, brat!” Kid complained, “Yer getting plain!”

“I wouldn't fight her if I was yo-” Killer began to warn, already grabbing the strawberry.

“I want strawberry!” Nina pouted, “I want a strawberry scented ass!”

“For fucksake,” Kid grumbled, holding out his hand for the lube.

“STRAWBERRY! SCENTED! ASS!” Nina shouted.

“OKAY FINE, FUCKING HELL,” Kid shouted back, “I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR FUCKIN’ FRUIT ASS YOU FUCKIN’ FRUITASS!”

Killer took the opportunity to remove his mask and tie his hair in a low ponytail as Kid squirted a generous amount of lube above Nina's asshole, letting it drip down before spreading it with one finger around the ring of muscle. Killer took his place back in front of Nina, who took his cock back in her mouth with no argument this time, looking up at him with half lidded eyes that closed as Kid sunk a finger inside her. She moaned on Killer's cock as Kid worked her open, and Killer grabbed her short pigtails to guide her movements as she got lost concentrating on Kid's fingers in her asshole as he added a second. His fingers were thick, she was probably stretched enough from just two to take any average man's cock, but Kid was far from average and knew he would need to work more to get her prepared to take him. He wanted to fuck the attitude out of her, but he didn't want to actually hurt her. His metal hand came up underneath her, and he pressed one finger to her clit and used his devil fruit to vibrate the metal, making Nina pull off Killer's cock with a surprised whine. “Fuck, Kid!”

“That's more like it,” he purred, “now we're getting somewhere. Go ahead and scream my name when you cum for me, little spitfire.”

“N-no!” Nina cried out. Kid replied by increasing the intensity of the vibrations and bullying a third finger into her ass, pumping her hard and fast.

“Then I guess you'll just have to not cum, aye?” Killer spoke in a voice that was so low it was almost terrifying, “You can scream your captain's name, or we can leave you here wanting. Maybe I'll just fuck Kid instead. Tie you to the bed and make you watch.”

“No! Please don't stop!” Nina whined, she felt like if they stopped now she might combust, “I'll be good!”

“Scream for me, bitch,” Kid growled, pressing his metal finger hard against her bud.

“Fuck, fuck!” Nina groaned, “cumming, fuck, Kid!” Her whole body shook as she let out a choked roar of a moan, Kid giving Killer a pleased grin as he pulled his fingers from her ass and she all but collapsed against the bed.

“You're not done yet, princess,” Killer purred, “we haven't gotten ours yet.”

“She's blissed out already and she ain't even had a cock yet,” Kid grumbled.

“She can take more, can't you princess?” Killer cooed as he squeezed Nina's face. She gave a weak whine and nodded, and he gave her face a soft appreciative slap. He let her lay back against the bed while the two men undressed, and Nina's eyes flicked between both of them hungrily as she rolled onto her back, thighs rubbing together as her need grew again at the two thick erections presented to her.

“Meow!”

“Oh for fucksake, ZAP!” Killer groaned, chasing the cat around the bedroom.

“Where the fuck did he come from?” Kid growled.

“My son likes to sleep in the laundry basket,” Nina replied matter-of-factly, “Zap! Come to mama!”

“No! Not to mama!” Killer complained, trying to grab the cat as it jumped up on the bed. He scruffed Zap and carried him out of the room, ignoring Nina's sad whines, placing the cat firmly on the hallway floor and shutting the door quickly before Zap could sneak back in. “Fucking cockblock.”

“Aw, Zap doesn't mean it!” Nina replied, before Killer grabbed her and made her giggle by flipping them both so she was laying on top of him. Kid took his queue to climb up on the bed behind her, settling between Killer's legs. Nina bit her lip as she reached between her legs to position Killer's cock, sinking down onto it with a relieved sigh. “Ah, doesn't get any better than that,” Nina grinned.

“We'll see about that,” Kid grunted, fisting himself to coat his cock in lube and applying more to Nina's ass. Killer held her flat against him, keeping her from squirming while Kid lined himself up. Nina squeaked as he pushed the head of his cock against her asshole, only pressing in the tip before pausing as he met resistance.

“Breathe, princess,” Killer soothed, “relax sweetheart, let him in.”

Nina whimpered against Killer's clavicle as Kid slowly pushed in further, attitude entirely forgotten as both her holes were filled and she clawed at the sheets either side of Killer. She let out a low whine as Kid fully seated himself, stilling inside her as she adjusted to the fullness. “Fuck yer tight,” Kid groaned. He made an experimental pull almost all the way out, before pushing back in again.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Nina groaned, “yes, yes, yes, yes, fuck me, fuck me!”

“Say no more,” Kid replied, grabbing her hips and giving her a hard thrust that made her scream. Killer exchanged a shit eating grin with the captain over Nina's shoulder as she buried her face against his chest, before he too began to move, making thrusts up into Nina's cunt to match Kid's harsh pace. Nina screamed like a bitch in heat as both men fucked her hard, making Killer grunt as she took out her overstimulation on him, biting and sucking at his chest and leaving marks all over his tan skin. Kid's hands were leaving bruises on Nina's hips as he held them tight, showing no mercy with his pace.

“Good girl,” Killer cooed, “does that feel good? Your holes nice and full now?”

“Yes!” Nina cried, “so- so full! Gonna cum again!”

“Cum for us then, princess,” Killer purred. Nina immediately bit down on his shoulder, making Killer swear as she let out a muffled moan against his skin and clamped down around their cocks. Killer's thighs grew wet with her release as she quivered, but neither man let up, prolonging the orgasm. She went boneless between them, a ragdoll for them to fuck, completely dick drunk and making weak moans.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Kid groaned, “can I cum inside her Kil?”

“Fill her up,” Killer replied with his own grunts, close to cumming as well, “fuck, I'm close.”

“One more from her?” Kid asked.

“Aye,” Killer agreed, the two of them working in tandem to hold back their own peaks while they forced Nina to another. “Come on Nina, one more sweetheart, I know you can do it.”

Nina shook her head against him, but the coil in her stomach was already pulling tight again, she couldn't deny it. She made a surprised gasp as Kid smacked her ass, feeling a rush of electricity through her body that reignited her. “Fuck, do that again,” she moaned. Kid complied, giving her a series of smacks, alternating which cheek he focused on as he kept up his brutal thrusts. “Fuck, fuck, cumming!” She screamed, seeing stars and shaking hard. She had a blissed out smile on her face as she collapsed against Killer, who groaned at her pussy still fluttering around him from the aftershocks of her orgasm and couldn't hold back any longer. He swore as he emptied his balls, and Kid quickly followed suit, giving one last hard thrust before stilling deep inside Nina's ass and painting her walls white.

“Fucking hell,” Kid panted as he pulled his cock out and collapsed next to them.

“Say thank you, princess,” Killer forced out between hard breaths.

“Th-thank you,” Nina stuttered, half asleep.

“Maybe yer not so bad,” Kid teased, patting Nina's bare ass playfully as he groaned at his stiff joints and climbed out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Nina asked in a sad tone that surprised both men.

“Oh I- I thought we were done here,” Kid replied unsurely.

“Go get a wet cloth from my bathroom, then come back,” Killer told him, “you're staying with us.”

“You sure?” Kid asked, eyes flicking between them as Nina rolled off Killer, who quickly untied her wrists and threw his sash to the floor.

“We're sure,” she confirmed, reaching out to hold his hand, “stay.”

“Okay,” Kid replied softly, giving her hand a gentle squeeze, “I'll stay.”

Like my stuff? Consider buying me a ko-fi

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[kamwashere]

saw your tags and yes PLEASE do a proper fic rec list!

5 times Wade didn't believe Peter, and the one time he did by keikoHPfan [T, 1K]

Wade isn't a fool. And he knows better, whatever Spidey says. Or five times Wade didn't believe Peter, and the one time he did.

✦ kam's notes: The first ever SMDP fic I’ve ever read! I had this bookmarked in 2016 with a note saying, “I wanna scream but fam is literally right hEre so I'm just here making this weird sound in my throat this fic must be treasured for life.” Super angsty and fluffy!

The Perks of Being Smarter Than Everyone Gives You Credit For by alphasaceraptor, Orcusnox (Cat9894) [M, Graphic Depictions of Violence, 32K, WIP]

Peter Parker, your friendly neighbourhood Spider-man, is sapiosexual. You'd think, working as an intern under Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, he'd have his pick of the best brains around. But apparently not. Someone's been lying about how smart a certain mercenary actually is, and that puts Peter in a sticky situation when said mercenary starts interacting with Peter. And with trouble brewing at Stark Industries, you just know this is going to be a wild ride...

✦ kam's notes: Sadly, I think this has been abandoned  as it hasn’t been updated since 2017 but it’s still worth a read! Featuring super smart Wade and super horny about it Peter. 

Propositions by stuckybarnes [T, 8K]

“Yeah…” Deadpool drawls. “Anyway, Pretty Boy, I have a proposition for you.” This makes Peter kind of want to throw up. Propositions by Deadpool always end up with them in varying degrees of pain, and a lot of explaining to do with the Avengers. OR Wade finally convinces a very tired Peter to go to New York Comic-Con with him and enter a Deadpool and Spider-Man cosplay contest, sure they'll win. Obviously. It doesn't go exactly as expected, and Peter is not thrilled.

✦ kam's notes: Spidey and DP go to Comic-Con! Fanservice, cosplays, banter, and feelings! All that fun stuff.

Ooh, Spicy by misato [E, 2K]

“It’s me,” he croaks, and Peter readies his web-shooter, aiming it at his mouth. He starts talking. Fast. “I’m Deadpool. Wade Wilson. I’m from another universe. In that one you’re dead and I’m more than a little bit bummed about it.” Surprisingly, that’s what gets Peter to loosen his grip. “You’re from another universe?” he sighs. “That’s so last week.”

✦ kam's notes: Hell yeah, another Peter B./Wade fic! This one is very spicy, kinda sad, but still sweet. Wade worships every version of Peter and I love that. 

baby, i’d victoria your secret anytime by ghostsoldier [E, 4K]

Peter’s known Wade for a while now, so he can maybe see how this makes sense -- like, maybe Wade has a thing about going commando and just happened to have an old girlfriend’s panties lying around, one thing led to another…but… “And the bra?” Peter croaks.

✦ kam's notes: Wade (unknowingly) seduces Peter with lingerie (!!!) and pancakes. Spice ahead!

I Think I Missed a Step ('Cause I'm Fallin' For You) by mokuyoubi [E, 42K]

There’s a weird familiarity about the kid's tone and posture, and it’s true that Wade is pretty far from home today but he’s also certain he’d remember that baby-face if he’d seen it before. On the other hand, he has spent the better part of the past few years feeling like he’s missed a step, so this conversation isn’t exactly anything new. [[A hot guy is willingly talking to us. Go with it.]] [Don’t make an ass of yourself.] “Shaddup,” Wade grumbles, though Yellow has a point... OR Peter thinks Wade knows his secret identity, and Wade is really confused by the hot coed who keeps popping up and hanging out with him.

✦ kam's notes: I debated putting this here a lot since when I first read it, I did so without reading the tags or the notes and missed the Tom!Spidey disclaimer but please don’t be discouraged, it is still a very good fic. Peter is aged up (still feels like a weird loophole) and is a full-fledged adult. Anyways! This fic lovingly abuses the classic identity porn trope. Very good and there is a variety of MCU cameos.

what light through yonder window by hellornothing [M, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, 14K]

The figure moves quickly, but Peter’s faster. He’s still adjusting to the sudden brightness, so dark red is really the only thing he takes from this initial encounter, but it’s enough. ‘Deadpool?’ - aka the one where they get together via late night window visits

✦ kam's notes: This fic has EVERYTHING: late night talking, identity reveal, pining!Peter, TLC. I really love Wade in this; he’s so tender, funny, and charming. This is also domestic in ways I can’t explain.

finger tap pulses by twentytwosevens [T, 3K]

"The first time Peter’s timer stops he is eleven years old. It times out in the middle of the night and wakes him up like an electric shock. The blank timer stares at him from his wrist as he yells and screams for his aunt and uncle." Spideypool AU with timers where Wade keeps getting killed and making Peter's timer go blank. By the time they meet he's pretty pissed off. This was certainly a summary with words, but they were not good ones. Based off a tumblr prompt that I cannot find anymore.

✦ kam's notes: Oh, this one has a delicate amount of angst and crack. Poor Peter! Deadpool-typical suicidal ideation, be warned. 

BDE (Big Dick Emergency) by DerRumtreiber [E, 6K]

“Oh my god,” he says again. “Oh. My. Gaa-awd, Becky. Did you?” Wade is visibly vibrating. “Did you really say ‘giant penis problem’? Really? Truly?” “What did you think I meant the first time?” Peter asks through clenched teeth. “I dunno, wrong hole?” ~*~*~ Or, the one where Peter is in need of some practical advice, and Wade is always happy to share his ass knowledge.

✦ kam's notes: THEE BOTTOM!WADE FIC, imo. Peter has unsatisfying sex life due to his Big Problem/Blessing and Wade is determined (and super thrilled)  to change that. Not to be a spoiler but he definitely succeeds. 

Love of a Different Lifetime by alicat54c [T, Graphic Depictions of Violence, 15K]

In another time and place, Wade would have gone back to Weasel’s bar and met the love of his life, Vanessa. However, in this life, predicated by a squeaky skateboard wheel, he met Peter instead. ... “Yo mamma so dumb, she thought Tiger Woods was a forest in India.” Wade's arm spasmed, causing his swing to go wide, sending the ball clear out of the course and across the sidewalk. Peter carefully kept his eyes on the score sheet as his companion turned around, expression playfully murderous. He scratched a line with a short pencil. “So, that’s one point against you.” The older man’s face split into a toothy grin. “Oh, it is on, baby boy.”

✦ kam's notes: And to end this fic rec, I bring you the ultimate filmverse!Spideypool fic. It rewrites both DP1 and TASM1 and it entwines both of the film’s canon together. In this fic, Peter doesn’t have his powers yet but he does meet Wade pre-cancer. They fall in love. While Wade goes into the program, Peter becomes Spider-Man. Cue Deadpool being born, Spider-Man trying to stop him, heartaching reunion and all that. Loved this one. 

Oh, and also there are some Team Red moments!

As usual, I'll just add my own fics as well —

my heart is wild (and my bones are steel) [T, 9K]

Out of the corner of his eyes, MJ quietly takes the seat across the younger Peter, swiftly sliding into his place. He visibly relaxes, resting his forehead against hers. They belong together in a quietly intense way. Longing burns hot inside of him, like a branch caught in a forest fire. It’s strange. Even if this version of Peter has lost virtually everything, he still finds a way to be envious of him. He thinks of Wade. For some unfathomable reason he isn’t quite ready to examine yet, he misses the idiot.

No Way Home, but in Peter-Three’s perspective.

all the skeletons you hide (show me yours, i’ll show you mine) [M, 23K, WIP] [Just updated]

A wave of affection and longing almost makes him stagger on his feet. Just seeing him in that suit—looking less than impressive, scratching his butt—makes him realize just how much he missed him. “Wade,” Peter cringes at how his voice catches, “Hi.” Wade turns around, turns back, turns again and does a double take. He eyes Peter up and down and to his surprise, turns away snootily. “Sorry cutie, any other day, I would be super into this hipster nerd slash skater boi with an I you’ve got going on—devastating combo, by the way—I’m sadly not in the mood.”

Peter, fresh out of his multiversal escapades, gains a new perspective in life. One that includes a certain mouthy mercenary, perhaps?

The problem is, the mercenary doesn’t seem to remember him. Like at all. He has a sneaking suspicion it has to do with that spell thing Peter-One was talking about…

‣ Both are a part of the new york isn't new york without you series

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

Hi I just finished reading the steve harrington x reader imagine where its their one year anniversary and reader finds out about the bet, I was wondering if you could maybe do a 2nd part where Steve somehow finds a way to win reader back and decide to still be bf and girlfriend rather than start all over again and steve asks reader out officially (since he asked her out bc of a bet originally) and they have their date where he reasks her to be his gf, then time skip to where its their 2 year anniversary and he proposes🤍

I got so carried away....oops? Over 4k words

I didn't get into the propose but I totally can if anyone wants me to! I hope you enjoy and it was worth the wait, I am thinking of making an alternative version of this where the reader doesn't take him back, if you want tagged lmk!

Steve was not the same without you. Anyone and everyone could tell. He showed up late to work, never talked to the customers, and he hasn't spoken to Robin, Nancy, or anyone from the group for that matter. He just wanted to disappear into his bed and never be discovered.

However, just because he was in his bed didn't mean he slept. No, he hasn't slept since you left, and if he did, it was for minutes at a time. Instead of sleeping, he just stared. Stared at your side of the bed, stared at pictures of you two together, stared at the ring that haunted him. All he could do was stare.

You weren't doing any better. You didn't just lose Steve but you lost your best friends too, being betrayed by your boyfriend hurt but being betrayed by who you considered the closest friends in your life hurt you the most. You couldn't bring yourself to reach out, anytime the phone rang you just let it ring, anytime there was a knock on the door you just waited under mounds of blankets for the person to leave. Everyone was concerned for the two of you but no one knew how to help, that is until Dustin went and forced Steve to get out of bed. For a 15 year old Dustin was surprisingly strong, Steve found this out when he was dragged out of his bed and into the shower. "You are showering. You are going to make yourself presentable and you are going to go talk to her. At least make sure she's still breathing." Dustin rolls his eyes but he misses how Steve's breathing got caught in his throat hearing that you weren't doing well, even if Dustin just briefly mentioned it.

Steve didn't care about himself, he lost you and that ended with him losing himself, but he never stopped caring about you. He rushed through the shower and hurried to get presentable once again before dragging his ass to the car and headed to your house after making a quick stop to the flower shop. The entire ride to your house he gave himself multiple pep-talks. "I'm a douche....this is noticeable, everyone can see that but" he sighs softly and shakes his head as he feels tears starting to form, "But with you...god y/n with you I wanted to be better. I will be better for you, I want to be the man you deserve even if I can never achieve that. Fuck maybe I'm just selfish...I definitely don't deserve you, no one...no one deserves an angel like you." When Steve pulls into your driveway tears are falling freely down his cheeks, he gets out of the car and grabs the flowers he bought you while choking back sobs. He doesn't bother knocking, if what Dustin told him he knows you won't bother answering the door. Even though you've been apart for weeks now he still has keys to your place so technically....not breaking and entering???

He softly walks through your home trying not to disturb anything, not wanting to taint anything more than he already has. He is in front of your bedroom door much quicker than he was prepared, the door was already opened and the sight before him destroyed his already broken heart. In front of him was the love of his life, under mounds of blankets with the only evidence of life being the slow rise and fall of the blankets.

"Oh princess..." he softly speaks breaking the silence. You jump slightly, blankets falling off your figure, at the sound of a familiar voice, a haunting voice. "Steve...." Your voice creaks and your sight blurs, sitting up straight you feel your breathing stop at the sight of the man before you. Even though he tried his hardest to look presentable for your presence he was still a clear mess. His hair was disheveled, his cheeks were blotchy and eyes bright red. He walks to your side slowly as if he was approaching an injured animal, "Princess I..." His voice cracks and lip quivers as a sob wins the fight he was trying to win. "I am so sorry! I-I never...never meant for this to happen, never fuck i never wanted to hurt you. I was going to tell you but everything was going so well I just didn't want to lose you" Your throat gets tight and begins to burn as you fight the tears that were determined to fall. "Steve I...I loved you."

Loved....Loved....past tense....loved

"No....baby no not loved... I love you. I love you. How can I fix this? There has to be a way to fix this I...fuck I can't lose you forever. This might have started as a bet but my love for you was never apart of it. I've never loved someone as much as I love you"

A scoff and an eye roll is what he's met with, causing him to panic even more at the thought of never having you in his life again. But then you move closer to him and you take the flowers from his hands. "We can try to start over..." You whispered softly

----Time skip-----

It's been two years since the break up, it's been two years since starting over. And things had never been better, Steve never wanted to lose you and tonight he's hoping that he can assure that you'll be his forever with a ring on your left hand.

Tagging: @emmyshortcake @succubusmunson @bloodthirstybreedingbunny @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @keerysfolklore @eddiesguitarskills @mystargirl-interlude @lofaewrites @sweet-villain

[mariacallous]

Classical music lovers can debate for hours over which Mozart melody has made the biggest impact. Maybe the first movement of the “Jupiter” symphony, perhaps the Queen of the Night aria from The Magic Flute, or what about the “Eine kleine Nachtmusik” serenade? Those who know the great 18th-century Austrian composer only through the movies have an easier time of it—the sound they’ll remember best may not be music after all but the whinnying, immature, and disobedient laugh heard throughout Milos Forman’s masterpiece Amadeus.

Amadeus, commonly accepted to mean “beloved by God,” was not technically part of Mozart’s name. (He was baptized as Joannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart, with Theophilus having a similar translation.) After his death, however, the moniker stuck as a way to venerate him. It’s perfect for the title of this movie, in which rival composer Antonio Salieri allows his jealousy over Mozart’s genius to build into a personal war against God. But expanding on some fudged truth is also in keeping with the spirit of the entire project, as the movie’s central conflict is almost entirely made up. (Even better, then, that the original trailer featured the tagline “Everything you’ve heard is true.”)

Based on a Tony-winning play by Peter Shaffer (inspired by a short 1830 play written by Alexander Pushkin, itself inspired by gossip that Salieri was somehow to blame for Mozart’s early death), Amadeus is celebrating its 40th anniversary this year. As such, a new 4K restoration is screening in specialty theaters across North America in advance of a new Blu-ray release. This, plus an eventual availability on streaming, is the first time the version that people originally saw back in 1984 will be available in years. (More on that in a bit.) An upcoming British television miniseries based on Shaffer’s play is in production currently, but we’re skeptical it will have the same magic.

The film’s story is told in flashback, with an old, institutionalized Salieri (played by F. Murray Abraham) “confessing” how he murdered Mozart (Tom Hulce). We are then witness to how Salieri, court composer to Emperor Joseph II (Jeffrey Jones), has his world turned upside down when Mozart bursts onto the scene. His musical instincts are on a level no mortal can comprehend and clearly, Salieri feels, handed down directly from above. But while Mozart’s work is divine, his demeanor is coarse and bratty, which turns Salieri’s understandable envy into an existential rage.

As the winner of eight Academy Awards, including best picture, best director, and best actor for Abraham’s Salieri, Amadeus’s legacy is secure, but any excuse to get more people to see this perfect film is a good one. I can personally report that not one, not two, but three millennial friends of mine came to this movie kind of dragging their feet, watching it only out of an obligation to check every Oscar winner off their list. Each one of them was blown away with just how funny and poignant and entertaining it was.

“I thought this would be boring, not bitchy!” one pal beamed after a recent screening I hosted with Paul Zaentz at New York’s Paris Theater. That energetic spark is evident in the script but catches fire in the movie thanks to its director. Forman’s resumé is one of the best from the 20th century, but Amadeus is something special, not just because it is about a maverick artist who has to do things his way (a recurring theme in both Forman’s life and work) but because the expatriate who fled communist-era Czechoslovakia to follow his calling was able to shoot the movie in Prague and Kromeriz. As Mozart cackled in the face of propriety, so Forman was able to poke his thumb in the eyes of those who had previously censored him.

Forman was born in the town of Caslav in 1932. Both of his parents died in Nazi concentration camps. He attended a school for war orphans where he befriended future filmmaker Ivan Passer and playwright-turned-politician Vaclav Havel. He began working on documentary crews and eventually made short films of his own that blended fact and fiction, getting better material from non-actors than trained professionals. His first feature, Black Peter (1964), focused on a timid teenager, and its follow-up, Loves of a Blonde (1965), was a similarly naturalistic look at awkward romance. Its deadpan, somewhat bleak style ran counter to the splashy films coming out of Italy and France at the time. Both films are early entries to what became known as the Czech New Wave, leading to Forman’s first bona fide masterpiece, The Firemen’s Ball (1967).

While The Firemen’s Ball—Forman’s first film in color—was understood to be a grand metaphor for the inefficiency of the political system at the time, one doesn’t have to know a damn thing about Eastern Bloc history to respect it as an iconoclastic farce not dissimilar from something like South Park. It was immediately banned in Czechoslovakia, but it and Loves of a Blonde were both nominated for best foreign language film at the Oscars.

Forman was in France raising funds for his next project during the Soviet invasion of Prague in August 1968. He was fired from his Czech production company and ended up emigrating to the United States. His first Hollywood film was the 1971 counterculture farce Taking Off (in which square, bourgeois parents try to get groovy with their kids, to embarrassing effect), which led to one of the most influential movies of the 1970s, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

After the anti-authoritarian Cuckoo’s Nest—which won five Oscars, including best picture, best director, best actor for Jack Nicholson, and best actress for Louise Fletcher—came his adaptations of the musical Hair (1979) and E.L. Doctorow’s novel Ragtime (1981). With that all under his belt and his hands on the rights to Schaffer’s hot play Amadeus, Forman went back to Prague in triumph.

Amadeus is set mostly in Vienna; still, Prague, which was generally left intact after World War II, certainly looks good on camera. And Prague was also an important city for Mozart. He made two lengthy visits there and found a very welcoming audience. Indeed, he wrote Don Giovanni with the intention of premiering the opera in Prague, which he did at the Estates Theatre in 1787. And it was at the Estates Theatre where Forman filmed many of the movie’s best scenes—ones of Mozart conducting opera, filmed with the alacrity and exuberance normally reserved for an action-adventure sequence. (The use of pyrotechnics in the Don Giovanni scenes caused a lot of worry on set, what with the old theater’s interior being mostly wood.)

Shooting a Hollywood movie behind the Iron Curtain naturally had some hardships. (Fruit and fresh vegetables, rarities at the time, needed to be trucked in from West Germany.) Given Forman’s background, the eyes of the state were on them. During that recent New York screening, Zaentz, who worked as a production coordinator on the project and is also the nephew of film producer Saul Zaentz, said secret police were essentially hands-off, except for one time. During off-hours, some members of the crew would hang out and watch VHS tapes of Hollywood movies and were unaware that some of those titles had been banned. The company was soon requested to keep to only approved films.

Perhaps more poignant was when they were shooting on the Fourth of July during one of the opera scenes. The Czech crew surprised Forman and the actors during one take. Expecting to hear the music of Mozart play back from a PA system, some well-wishers instead cued up “The Star-Spangled Banner” while others unfurled an enormous American flag. Everyone stood up and sang along, except, according to Forman, the 30 or so secret police who had been dispersed among the extras.

One can easily read the moment as a victory for Forman. Alas, Mozart’s fate was a little different. Though no one knows for sure why he died at the young age of 35—other than the fact that every case of the sniffles had graver implications back in 1791—the movie shows how Mozart’s queasiness with authority shaped him as a hand-to-mouth freelancer and how his lack of a permanent position and persistent money woes were bad for his health. After Amadeus, Forman continued to make movies about troubled-yet-visionary mavericks: Andy Kaufman in Man on the Moon (1999), Francisco Goya in Goya’s Ghosts (2006), and, um, Larry Flynt in The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996).

As for the Salieri yarn? There’s no historical evidence to suggest that the two composers weren’t just colleagues. (It’s true that Mozart did have a paranoid streak and maybe did think that “the Italians” at court had it in for him.) Salieri certainly did not live in chastity out of some pledge to God in exchange for musical inspiration. Indeed, he had eight children. He was also plenty famous at the time of his death and, later in life, was a tutor to Mozart’s youngest son. Nevertheless, no one should let reality get in the way of watching this incredible movie.

This 40th anniversary rerelease is especially exciting for old-school Amadeus-heads as it restores the 160-minute theatrical cut. All one can find out there now is the “director’s cut,” which is 20 minutes longer. As Zaentz explained to me, that version came out in 2002 during the first DVD wave, when home-video distributors were loading up packages with deleted scenes. Rather than have isolated bonus chapters, Forman decided to just release the longer version instead, though never really considered it the definitive cut. However, over time it became the only version in circulation.

While the longer version has a few splendid moments (some backstage zings with Christine Ebersole as Caterina Cavalieri), it also contains one scene that I am happy to see once again excised. In it, Salieri goes a wee bit too far and humiliates Mozart’s wife, Constanze (Elizabeth Berridge). It’s important for Salieri to be a scheming twerp but also someone who still holds your sympathy. The controversial scene only found in the director’s cut pushes him too far into the role of villain.

So sometimes edits are important! It is said that Mozart never revised, that he took dictation from God. As with so much else about the man, the truth is a little different.

[canmom]

can an LLM write a demo?

ongoing LLM probing efforts: I tried giving them a challenge to "write code for a 4k demo to render an ocean scene".

note, in demoscene parlance, a '4k demo' refers to a demo that fits in 4 kilobytes, not one that renders to a 4k monitor. this is a stupidly difficult high-context problem and I didn't expect to really get perfect output. well, shocker, the output was largely not all that impressive in human terms.

Here's the best result I was able to get after a fairly extended dialogue with DeepSeek R1 70b, a 300kb demo using opengl:

many wave, very ocean

I'm kind of wondering why I did this at this point, but I think the main reason was that I started to buy a bit of the hype and wanted to reassure myself that LLMs are still a bit daft?

first I tried two LLMs on lmarena.ai but the site bugged out when I rated them rather than tell me which bots I was talking to.

Both generated what looked like a valid OpenGL program (though I did not attempt to compile either), however, looking closer the output was flawed in various ways. The left one decided to do some limited raytracing in the fragment shader rather than displace a mesh. It claimed to be using Gerstner waves, which would be cool, but a closer look at the output showed it was actually just sines. I'm also not sure quite what it thinks it's doing with the projection - it just seems to take the fragment position as if it were the 3D position.

The second AI does better, generating a plausible-looking vertex and fragment shader file with sine-based vertex displacement. There are some oddities, though, like the fact that it doesn't actually use the generated vertex and fragment shaders as external files, writing them out again as strings in the actual program. Overall, I could believe that if I compiled this it would look like a basic sinusoidal ocean with Phong shading. Old-school but reasonable. Unfortunately I closed the tab so I can't actually test it anymore.

Curious about what might be going on inside these models, I tried asking DeepSeek R1:14b the same challenge. Predictably this smaller model did worse. Its chain of thought prompting gave it a pretty coherent description of how you would write a demo like this, but also revealed some interesting confusions, for example multiple times referring to 'example code' that didn't exist, or quoting things I didn't say ('the user mentioned OpenGL and Vulkan').

When it came to output, though, it only gave me a list of steps to follow and omitted actual code:

There is no 'detailed response provided'.

After issuing some clarifications, DeepSeek R1:14b came up with the idea of creating a text-based demo instead, and generated some plausible-looking code in C++. I figured I might actually compile this, but it used a header file conio.h without explanation. Asking it to clarify led to it figuring out this is an old Windows header, replace it with standard library code, and actually spontaneously add a conditional compilation check for a Windows/Linux difference.

I tried compiling the provided code and ran into some missing libraries. A little coaxing gave a lot of blather to tell me 'you need to #include <cmath>'. A little more coaxing got it to tell me what compiler flags would be needed.

Thus I can present to you Deepseek R1:14b's demo:

Beautiful. Sure to win first place. The 'press q to quit' thing doesn't work. And the compiled binary definitely doesn't fit in 4kb (though it might if I stripped it etc.). But... it tried?

For fairness sake, I'll flood my RAM to try the 70b version as well. To its credit, its 'think' block immediately understands what a '4k demo' is supposed to be. Unfortunately it then goes off the rails and decides to do it in pygame, which is... babe you ain't gonna make a 4k demo in pygame lmao. As the output continued, it forgot that 4k referred to binary size rather than resolution, resolving to test the pygame program which is... not something an LLM can do.

Curiously (and this is something I have noticed a couple of times with DeepSeek), the 'actual' answer after the <think> block basically ignored all that Python stuff and wrote me a basic 'hello triangle' OpenGL program in C. So what was the point of all that thinking? Apparently when it maps from the 'think' LLM path to the 'final output' LLM path, DeepSeek can just... ignore what it was thinking about? The shaders it generated were pretty limited, it basically generates one big triangle over the screen with a scrolling sine wave on it, but I decided to see if it would compile anyway.

I tried asking it for advice on setting up GLFW and GLEW with MinGW and its answer was mostly quite good... but garbled some details (suggesting inconsistent places in where to put the libraries), which luckily I know enough to be able to spot. In the end we get this as the resulting demo:

I've lowered my expectations a lot by this point, but I will give DeepSeek a lot of credit for helping me get a working MinGW/OpenGL build environment. Given that it's a long time since I've fucked about with C/C++, and there's nothing so nice as cargo in this ecosystem, it was a lot faster than figuring it out from the docs.

The executable was more like 400kb than 4kb, so I thought I'd see if I could coax DeepSeek R1-70b to make it smaller. The chain of thought generated here was a genuinely solid discussion of sizecoding techniques, but the real proof would be whether DeepSeek could apply the ideas it pulled out concretely. In the end it gave me a list of ideas to try, including a couple of compiler flags - with this I shaved off 100kb, but it's still far too large.

(Ironically it suggested using "minimalistic frameworks often found in demoscene communities".)

I think I've spent as much time investigating this as I want to. Overall, DeepSeek R1 70b did a pretty good job of understanding what I wanted and generating relevant output, and tbh I could definitely imagine a LLM being useful if I needed to quickly reference info while writing a demo, but evaluated on the original question of 'can this LLM write a 4k demo depicting an ocean scene', the answer is a pretty emphatic no.

Running this on my computer, this took ages to generate the full output token by token - the full interaction ended up taking a couple of hours. But if I did this from scratch, having to look up docs and everything with zero experience with the APIs, I think it would probably take me about the same time to get a working OpenGL program.

Could the 'full size' models do better? Quite probably, but I ain't spending money on this shit.

[batmannotes]

The Penguin: Season 1 [4K UHD] Review

When it was announced that there was a spinoff series in the works based on the recent Dark Knight film, THE BATMAN, I was immediately skeptical. The idea of a Batman inspired series, without any appearances by Caped Crusader himself, did not sound that inviting. Additionally, outside the makeup artist's work of converting Colin Farrell into the Bat-villain, I really wasn't even that enamored with this version of the Penguin (after watching THE BATMAN). Fast forward to actually sitting down and watching the premiere episode of THE PENGUIN titled, 'After Hours'. Right off the bat there is a surprising moment and "boom", it has my attention.

Michael Zegen (Alberto Falcone) and Colin Farrell (Oz Cobb)

Watching Oz snake his way to top of Gotham's underworld takes many unpredictable turns. In his way to fame and fortune is Sofia Falcone, who is effectively portrayed by Cristin Milioti. Many comic book fans will remember Sofia playing a major role in the classic story arc, Batman: The Long Halloween. Although Cristin Milioti is much easier on the eyes than Tim Sale's vision of her in the comic book pages of The Long Halloween, her toughness and grit are still evident.

Colin Farrell (Oz Cobb) with Cristin Milioti (Sofia Falcone)

Also in the mix here is an odd kind of father and son relationship (or mentor and mentee) between Oz and Victor Aguilar (portrayed by Rhenzy Feliz). Victor is probably the most likable character in this series. Although several characters evolve in the 8-episode series, the only character I actively cheered for was Vic. 

Rhenzy Feliz (Victor Aguilar)

The most bizarre and troubling relationship has to be the mother and son one. Francis Cobb (Deirdre O'Connell) is The Penguin's mom, and Oz goes through great lengths to win his mother's favor. His past and current relationship shaped Oz into the person he has become. 

Deirdre O'Connell (Francis Cobb) with Ryder Allen (Young Oz)

Primary writer Lauren LeFranc weaves together a number of fascinating characters and plot points that were truly gripping, with an ending that will punch a hole in your chest and rip out your heart.

Rhenzy Feliz (Victor Aguilar) & Colin Farrell (The Penguin)

Season 1 Episode Guide

Episode 1 - After Hours 

Episode 2 - Inside Man 

Episode 3 - Bliss 

Episode 4 - Cent'Anni 

Episode 5 - Homecoming 

Episode 6 - Gold Summit 

Episode 7 - Top Hat 

Episode 8 - A Great or Little Thing 

Extras

Inside Gotham 1-8

Introducing The Penguin

The Origin of Oz

Welcome to Gotham

Gotham Re-Envisioned

Becoming The Penguin

Who Is the Hangman: Portrait of Sofia Falcone

Hearts of the Penguin

A tale of Two Gothams

Victor Aguilar: The Making of a Henchman

VIDEO QUALITY 📽️ :  A 

Codec: HEVC / H.265 Resolution: Native 4K (2160p) HDR: Dolby Vision, HDR10 Aspect ratio: 2.00:1 Original aspect ratio: 2.00:1

AUDIO QUALITY 🔈 : A

English: Dolby Atmos English: Dolby TrueHD 7.1 (48kHz, 24-bit)

EXTRAS 📀 :  C

Although there are 17 five-minute shorts exploring the series and how they created it, the lack of digital code for mobile devices is always a huge letdown.  

OVERALL GRADE: A-

THE PENGUIN was the surprise hit of 2024. It is well acted, shot and written. Colin Farrell sits atop the apex of this incredibly solid cast and Lauren LeFranc's scripts are far more interesting than the last Caped Crusader film, THE BATMAN. Although the violence is sometime excessive, THE PENGUIN has enough heart and surprises to keep the viewer at home glued to their seat.

THE PENGUIN will be available on March 18, 2025.

You can preorder your copy at Amazon now.

Colin Farrell (The Penguin)

[themindfulmind]

How to Mentally Glow Up in 2025: The Year of You

Let’s be real… 2025 is your time to shine, but not just on the outside. The real glow-up? It happens in your mind. A sharp, healthy, vibrant mentality isn’t just a flex—it’s the foundation for the best version of you. So buckle up, because we’re diving deep into how you can mentally glow up and take over the world (or at least your corner of it).

1. Purge the Mental Clutter

Imagine your mind as your room—would you want to hang out in there? If the answer is no, it’s time to declutter. Here’s how:

• Start journaling: Write down every negative thought, lingering insecurity, or limiting belief. Put it all out there. Then, reflect on how those thoughts are serving (or sabotaging) you.

• Practice forgiveness: Let go of grudges, even if it’s just for your own peace. Write letters you’ll never send or say “I forgive you” out loud to the universe.

• Create a “mental donation box”: Just like you’d donate old clothes, decide what thoughts and habits no longer fit the person you’re becoming. Release them.

Create a new life by creating a better, more mindful space of mind.

2. Curate Your Input

What you consume shapes who you are, so curate it like your personal Pinterest board.

• Social media: Follow accounts that inspire, teach, or make you laugh. Unfollow the ones that make you feel drained or insecure.

• Conversations: Surround yourself with people who add value to your life—those who uplift, motivate, and challenge you. Let go of energy vampires.

• Entertainment: Watch shows, read books, and listen to podcasts that expand your perspective. Make every scroll and screen time session intentional.

Your input should be a reflection of the person you’re becoming, not the person you’ve outgrown.

3. Romanticize Routine

Stop treating your daily life like a chore. Instead, make it a vibe:

• Morning rituals: Light a candle, put on a playlist, and make your coffee like you’re starring in a cinematic masterpiece.

• Self-care: Don’t just slap on moisturizer—massage it in while reminding yourself how stunning you are.

• Work: Set up your space with little touches that spark joy (a cute mug, fresh flowers, or a diffuser). Even your to-do list can look aesthetic with some color coding.

When you find beauty in the mundane, everything feels magical.

4. Invest in Self-Awareness

True growth starts with knowing yourself. Here’s how to dig deep:

• Meditation: Start with 5 minutes a day. You don’t need to be a pro—just sit quietly, breathe, and observe your thoughts without judgment.

• Journaling prompts: Explore questions like, What do I truly want? What am I afraid of? What brings me joy?

• Therapy: If it’s accessible to you, therapy is a game-changer. Having someone guide you through your thoughts can unlock levels of understanding you didn’t know you needed.

• Personality tools: Whether it’s Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, or astrology, these can give you insights into how you think and feel.

Self-awareness is like upgrading to 4K resolution—you start seeing everything clearly.

5. Embrace the “Soft Hustle”

We’re leaving grind culture in the past. The glow-up isn’t about working 24/7; it’s about aligning with your passions and values.

• Set “aligned” goals: Instead of chasing what society tells you to, ask yourself, What do I actually care about? Then focus on that.

• Prioritize rest: Rest is productive. Schedule downtime like you would an important meeting.

• Celebrate progress: Even baby steps count. Write down your wins, no matter how small, and acknowledge your growth.

Remember, working smarter doesn’t mean you’re slacking—it means you’re evolving.

6. Surround Yourself with Expanders

You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so choose wisely.

• Look for expanders: These are people who’ve done what you want to do, inspire you, or challenge you to grow.

• Create boundaries: If someone’s energy feels draining or toxic, it’s okay to step back. Protecting your peace isn’t selfish; it’s essential.

• Join communities: Whether it’s online or in person, connect with like-minded people who support your goals.

You deserve to be in spaces where your growth is celebrated, not diminished.

7. Celebrate the Small Wins

Progress isn’t always flashy, and that’s okay. Here’s how to make every step feel like a victory:

• Keep a “wins” journal: Write down something you’re proud of every day, no matter how small.

• Reward yourself: Finished a tough task? Treat yourself to your favorite snack or an episode of that show you love.

• Practice gratitude: Every time you achieve something, even if it feels minor, pause and thank yourself for showing up.

Success is built on the little moments, so don’t overlook them.

8. Rewrite Your Narrative

Your story is yours, and 2025 is the year you take the pen back.

• Shift your mindset: Instead of saying, “I’m behind,” say, “I’m exactly where I need to be.”

• Create affirmations: Write down empowering statements like, I am capable. I am resilient. I am becoming the best version of myself.

• Visualize your future: Spend a few minutes each day imagining the life you want. Picture every detail… the sights, sounds, and feelings. Then take one small step toward it every day.

You’re not stuck, you’re just starting. And the best part? You get to decide how the story unfolds.

2025 is the year of you. Glow up mentally, and everything else will follow. You’ve got this. Now go out there and shine so bright that even your past self is inspired. ✨

[thyluvcupix]

Sakuatsu fic recs!

im very picky on what i label to be a 'good fic' most of the ones are amazing but only a few will get bookmarkerd by me and here they are! My ao3 acc that has many more book marks mostly nsfw i diddnt put here

1

A liar's truth 49k words

okay this one is just breathtaking? if you havent read this pls do i cried sm😭

summary:

In which Sakusa Kiyoomi is raised to believe that gay people go to hell but then takes one look at Miya Atsumu and thinks, then why the hell did God make them so fucking hot?

2

I'll see you in court, motherfucker 2k words

its short and funny def worth a read if you wanna giggle

Summary:

“You’re still a fraud. You’re—you’re a scammer, is what you are. I don’t know how you convinced the hospital administration that you’re my husband, or that we even have a relationship, but I have—” Fuck, what’s the word? “Lawyers,” Kiyoomi says triumphantly, “I have lawyers, and if you’re trying to con me for some ulterior motive, I’ll have you know—” “Oh my god, Omi,” Miya says, sounding equal parts exasperated and horribly fond. “How can you be so cute?”

A pleasant side effect of being down one vestigial organ is forgetting the existence of your hot Olympic athlete husband

3

The 28 post cards you left me 8k words

Honestly, if i ever break up with someone this is exactly what i want from them? Like omg?? pls send me post cards, Super cute

Summary:

Atsumu takes texting your ex to a new level by sending Sakusa postcards in Animal Crossing instead.

4

The art of the thrist trap 4k words

naughty naughty, but other than that this fic is so funny? like ask ur brother how to rizz someone up

Summary:

“Samu, I’ve got a big problem.”

“Here we fuckin’ go. What is it this time?”

Atsumu needs to think strategically about how he’s going to phrase this. One wrong word and Osamu will hang up on him and Atsumu will be forced to wade through the hell of his own mind by himself.

“I jerked off to one of my teammates.”

Osamu hangs up.

5

Problem 5k words

super cute sleepy omi is something else

Summary:

Atsumu has a problem— somehow, he finds every version of Sakusa Kiyoomi adorable.

In which Atsumu realizes that Sakusa Kiyoomi gets very quiet and very adorable when he's tired. Things simply go downhill from there.

6

Take me where the music aint to loud 2k words

Protetive sakusa>>

Summary:

Winning against the Adlers must have meant something of a great deal to Sakusa, as usually he wouldn’t even consider going out with the rest of his team after the game.

Yet, here he is, in a somewhat crowded club, wearing a black button up shirt rolled up around his wrists and sweating a little under the bright lights.

Atsumu thinks he looks beautiful.

He wanders over to where Sakusa is standing with Meian, hoping that tonight, with a little bit of influence from alcohol, he might be able to get more conversation out of him than he can usually get outside of practice.

But of course, Atsumu can’t have anything good, ever. Because, blocking the way is his ex-boyfriend.

--

or; atsumu runs into his ex in the club, and sakusa has to rescue him

7

ROAD RAGE 2k words

This is funny on so many levels poor atsumu he fears for his life

Summary:

For a man who preaches at any given opportunity about the importance of good self-care practices, Sakusa certainly displays an astounding lack of self-preservation when behind the wheel.

Sakusa Kiyoomi has a driver’s license. Sakusa Kiyoomi cannot drive.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

8

The ascent to love (or descent) 3k words

Im always a sucker for hurt/comfort and this fic gives me that, its also funny as well so its a win-win type thing

Summary:

Stuck in an elevator with his boyfriend after a fight, Sakusa Kiyoomi couldn't think of anything worse. Working through their issues?  Maybe he could think of one thing.

9

Take me home 10k words

i just cannont stress how good this is, like its soul healing on so may levels gosh

Summary:

Turns out, Miya Atsumu never did a good thing in his life – his love was one-sided. And so, he was running away, hoping to meet some friendly people, take a bunch of pretty pictures and get over Kita Shinsuke.

In which Miya Atsumu is an exchange student in Italy, and Sakusa Kiyoomi is the only one knowing Japanese, forced to take care of the new student.

10

Hope is the thing with feathers 10k words

Two dummies taking care of some birds is honestly to good

Summary:

Kiyoomi wakes to Miya banging on his door, yelling words that put the fear of god in him.

“Omi-kun, get out here, we’re gonna be fathers.”

11

In the stars 1k words

In all honesty it made me think of the other side of love i never thought about

Summary:

Miya Atsumu is a romantic. He always had been. He believes in soulmates and destiny and true love in the stars. Sakusa Kiyoomi believes none of that.

My ao3↵

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (March 3-9, 2024)

Shin Ultraman took an eternity to reach home video, but Godzilla Minus One will proceed as a more reasonable pace (by Japanese standards). Toho will release roughly one billion different editions on May 1, with Amazon- and Godzilla Store-exclusive physical bonuses both on offer. Godzilla Minus One/Minus Color is included with some of the pricier versions, or you can buy it as a standalone Blu-ray or DVD.

The black-and-white version of Shin Godzilla, SHIN GODZILLA:ORTHOchromatic, also hits Japanese home video on May 1. Like Minus Color, no 4K edition, just Blu-ray and DVD. A handful of new bonus features about ORTHOchromatic are included.

As is standard for Toho, none of these releases will be English-friendly. But given the films' popularity (and the lack of any legal way to watch Minus One since it left theaters), expect bootlegs to circulate at light speed.

Unsurprisingly, Godzilla Minus One cleaned up at the Japanese Academy Awards, with eight victories out of eleven nominations: Picture of the Year, Best Supporting Actress, Best Cinematography, Best Screenplay, Best Editing, Best Sound, Best Art Direction, and Best Lighting. That's one more than Shin Godzilla, and pretty much guarantees that the Toho Godzilla series will keep the prestige pictures coming. Strange times!

We'll see if Minus One can also capture Best Visual Effects at the American Academy Awards tonight. The Creator remains its biggest competition. The Gareth Edwards film is better-positioned by the usual metrics, with a second nomination for Best Sound and five wins at the Visual Effects Society Awards, but the enthusiasm gap for the films themselves may prove decisive. I'll be doing a much lengthier analysis during Wikizilla's Oscar stream tonight, which will start at about 6:00 PM ET, an hour before the ceremony begins.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire tickets may not be on sale yet, but Cinemark theaters have rolled out the above merch (much more efficiently than Target and Walmart have rolled out the toyline, if my local theater's any indication). I have a suspicion those plushies will be worth a mint a few years from now, small as they are; don't know about the other stuff. I bought the larger popcorn tin when I saw Dune: Part Two on Thursday. The promo image is deceptive, as the green area is transparent plastic and the Titan image is on the opposite wall of the tin, so that popcorn's either defying gravity or being held up by a hidden insert. There are Kong and Skar King variants as well, the latter revealing his height (318 feet). Poor Shimo; being the "secret" villain really narrows the amount of merch you get.

The other interesting GxK news this week (apart from the endless TV spot variants, which I'm not even trying to keep track of) is a collaboration with the American Red Cross, of all institutions. Donate blood, platelets, or AB Elite plasma from March 25 to April 7, get a free T-shirt. And for completion's sake, I'll mention the Roblox and Call of Duty cross-promos too.

Chibi Godzilla Raids Again, an unexpected delight last year, is getting a second season starting April 3. The official site revealed that Minilla is joining the cast, while those silhouettes to his right look like Titanosaurus (unjustly neglected in recent years), Gigan, and Gabara. Expect to follow the first season in being uploaded to the GODZILLA OFFICIAL by TOHO YouTube channel with English subtitles.

Here's another chance to watch Tsuburaya and Toei Animation's Kaiju Decode short, originally released in 2021. (It goes away at the end of the month, because every Japanese studio is apparently hellbent on making short films ephemeral, so download it now.) It's the basis for a recent mixed reality game for the Meta Quest 3 and Meta Quest Pro, hence its return to the spotlight.

UniVersus, a collectable card game predicated on pitting characters from various franchises against each other, is going all in on Godzilla after offering a couple of Minus One cards through highly convoluted means last year. They're releasing a couple of Godzilla Challenger Series (preconstructed decks) on June 21, one based around Godzilla and Mothra, the other around King Ghidorah and Rodan, with Mechagodzilla thrown into the mix for both. I've never played this game in my life, but the prospect of a shiny Godzilla card with James Stokoe art is sort of tempting.

[tallerthantale]

What Does Aziraphale Actually Believe, Part 4: Heaven is Wrong

This is a series of my takes on what Aziraphale believes through the timeline of the show. It is all my personal interpretation, and I am happy to hear others. You don’t need to read them all in order, but know that I am coming from a perspective on Aziraphale’s machinations that can be difficult for people without a psychology background to follow without the first two as a primer. The quick version is that Aziraphale has a set of beliefs that exist in some form or another within his mind. However, at any given moment, only some of them exist ‘with awareness’ or as I am putting it here, conscious!Aziraphale only has access to the beliefs that the rest of his mind, veil!Aziraphale, allows him to know about. The context of the moment will determine what lives on the surface and what stays buried behind the veil, whatever arrangement best prevents a threat to Aziraphale’s sense of self and makes whatever he is inclined to do feel right.

This post is all concentrated Job saga, though it skips over the ox rib, which I’m saving for the next post. About 3.5k words. I got carried away with the length again. I really meant to keep it shorter.

Uz is where things get really interesting. It's also where a lot of the fandom, in my opinion, gets a bit thrown off. That's because the events at Uz are 4500 years before the modern era. All the character growth we see here is well over 4k years old, and that has a lot of people wondering, where the fuck did that character growth go? How could the angel that did all that so far back still not understand heaven is just as bad all that time later? The first answer is that Aziraphale doesn’t have consistent beliefs, he has options for what he can believe that get selected from to fit the situation. The second answer is that there are some very particular ways Aziraphale manages his rationalisations, and they are going to have a lot to do with Aziraphale's opinions on God’s ineffability. 

His Children!?

When we first see Aziraphale interrupt Crowley’s workflow, he is incredibly performative. “Avaunt Foul Demon!” He drops it immediately on recognising Crowley, but he also puts it back on after. The character of “Angel of the Lord” is put on for show, and not just because he didn’t know it was Crowley in particular. “Despised Tool of Satan” is also a character that Crowley is playing. When Aziraphale calls him that, he is referring to the role, not the person. Aziraphale is popping in and out of being himself and being his job with very clear distinctions. He likewise has distinctions between Crowley’s job as the “Foul Demon” and Crowley the person, who is tasked with that job. Crowley may have been assigned the job of kill the goats, Aziraphale is determined to thwart the assignment, that doesn’t mean he has ill will towards the person tasked with it. 

After the business about the permit, when it moves onto the children, his first attempt to step in about the kids is to insist to Crowley that he doesn’t HAVE TO destroy Job’s children. “Surely the great thing about being a demon is that you can do whatever you want.” It’s jealously, and Crowley calls him on it. Aziraphale insists that he is happy to have the opportunity to do whatever God wants. He believes he believes this. 

Aziraphale is also revealing himself to be painfully unaware of how bad Crowley’s situation is. While this series in general and this post in particular focuses on how Aziraphale’s circumstances are really shit, I don't want to give the impression of a trauma olympics argument. I’m focusing on Aziraphale because I think he is more confusing, not because I think he has it worse.

When Crowley asks "Like killing innocent children to win a bet with Satan?" Aziraphale’s response, hushing his voice and looking to be sure the other angel’s aren’t listening, "I don't think that is what God wants." This is huge. My big recurring question for how Aziraphale deals with ineffability is: if Aziraphale doesn’t think it is possible to communicate or understand God’s will, what makes him think he knows what God wants? The only direct evidence he has of God’s opinion is God signing off on the bargain with Satan, and that doesn’t support Aziraphale’s position at all. He is clearly aware that the other angels would not support his interpretation, and has already abandoned any attempt to convince them.

The only reason Aziraphale has to conclude that God doesn’t want the kids dead is that he doesn’t like it. If something is God’s will, and he doesn't like it, that’s an existential crisis. So Aziraphale’s mind rejects that by keeping that possibility behind the veil. Remember, this is not Aziraphale debating with himself and presenting, “But if God’s opinion is Y, I don’t like that so God’s opinion must therefore be X” as an actual philosophical argument, this is veil!Aziraphale will not allow the idea “God believes Y,” to exist in conscious!Aziraphale’s perception or thoughts, and as a result “God believes X,” is the only observable opinion to consider. The reason why Aziraphale inexplicably believes a thing generally boils down to: Aziraphale isn’t emotionally prepared to deal with a reality where that thing isn’t true. 

While this is the same pattern as Aziraphale being happy about the destruction of the universe / fancy wall paper plan, in that the opinion veil!Aziraphale prefers is the only observable opinion, it has one main reversal. Before Aziraphale was believing in something reprehensible to protect his personal safety. Now he is believing something dangerous to himself to protect his principles. That switch signals to me that Aziraphale has grown to a point where he has become invested enough in his experiences in the world that he is more ok with being against the institution of heaven than he is with wanton destruction.

Aziraphale can’t cope with a reality where he is misaligned with God’s will, but neither can he cope with a reality where God’s will is for him to condone child murder. Enter ineffability. God’s will is incapable of being put into words. That long permit / contract sure does seem like it’s a bunch of words. If God’s will can’t be put into words, what is She doing dicking around with contracts and permits? Being told 'this subject can't be put into words, here's a book on it' is certainly an experience, let me tell you. (Or well, I would tell you, but it would be in words, so... soz.) But if God is playing games and misrepresenting Her own will, and it is impossible to really know what God really wants, Aziraphale can just decide whatever intuitively feels right to him is God’s will. Ineffability is the life hack to end all life hacks. (This is a dangerous one IRL, see end note.)

Who’s Side Are You On?

Aziraphale thinks he knows Crowley. Crowley disagrees. Aziraphale shifts his phrasing. I know the angel you were. Crowley doesn’t disagree, but insists that isn’t who he is now. This is a point of misaligned communication. Crowley is being honest when he says that the angel he was isn’t who he is now. But in the context of the conversation, it is a statement made to support what is soon after revealed to be a lie by obfuscation. The fact that Crowley was serious about not being the angel he used to be gets lost in the reveal that Aziraphale was right about him not wanting to kill kids, human or otherwise. This lets Aziraphale hang on to the idea that Crowley is essentially still the entity that existed as an angel, and lets him read Crowley’s demonic status as a temporary state of being he is suffering under, possibly as one of God’s games. 

Aziraphale sounds very smug at the revelation that Crowley did not kill the goats, and Crowley insists that they aren’t on the same side, irritated by Aziraphale’s smugness. I think this is because the way Aziraphale framed the situation, “I don’t think that is what God wants, and I don’t think you want that either” puts Crowley and God on the same side, which Crowley will not accept. Crowley thinks God wants all the kids dead. Crowley expresses that they are “(temporarily not on) (opposite sides),” since they are both going off script with their bosses. Aziraphale says “just as you say.” I think Aziraphale has changed some definitions though, and is parsing it as “(temporarily) (not on opposite sides)” where Crowley is temporarily a demon who, due to temporary demonic status, can’t technically be considered on God’s side, but is destined to return to it later. 

When Jemimah asks if Crowley is a demon, Aziraphale answers “Yes, well. He is in fact, technically, a demon…”. I don’t think this is just him being embarrassed about being seen with a demon, I think Aziraphale really does think of Crowley’s demonic status as a kind of technicality. Aziraphale sees Crowley as a sort of double agent for God, whether or not Crowley sees himself that way. He digs in his heels in the cellar. “Come on, you’re a little bit on our[God’s] side.”  “Well you're not on hell’s side.” “Well who’s side are you on?” 

Crowley suggests he isn’t as opposed to hell as Aziraphale is framing, but ultimately characterises himself as on "My side.” Aziraphale’s response telegraphs what his line of questioning is really about. “Ours?” It's a question not an opinion, trying out what Crowley’s interpretation would mean for himself. He can’t consider himself on his own side, his mind won’t let that be an option.

When Crowley asks, Aziraphale insists that the side he’s on is “God’s, of course.” Crowley works for hell, and they talk about to what extent Crowley is on hell’s side. Aziraphale works for heaven, and in that role, and in the parallels of the language they have been using, you might expect Aziraphale to insist that he is on heaven’s side. He doesn’t, because he isn’t. He’s on God’s side, and heaven sometimes isn’t. I think at this point Aziraphale is still fairly confident God doesn’t want the children killed. 

Crowley asks, “same God that wants me to whack the kids?” Aziraphale starts to answer, “Yes, but-” and Crowley cuts him off. Aziraphale doesn’t argue the point like he did before, but I think it’s mostly to do with him knowing he has no evidence. Aziraphale knows how unconvincing his own faith based reasoning is to other people, and he is smart enough to know when to leave it alone. He can’t convince the other angels to believe God secretly wants something completely different to what She’s signed off on, and right now Crowley doesn’t seem any more likely to believe something that far out of left field. Crowley hasn't been shy about his disdain for ineffability.

Can Aziraphale see himself and Crowley as together on their own side? I think not yet, not without them being the secretly aligned playing pieces of an ineffable God, or they end up avowed by the same side. For now it’s only “our side” if God is there too, or the other option, as Crowley puts it, “see you in hell.”

While I’m Wide-Eyed and I’m So Damn Caught in the Middle

(Lyrics from Strong, by London Grammar)

Aziraphale is very confident and determined to rescue the kids when he isn’t being stared down by Michael and Gabriel. He looks terrified and ashamed when he actually has to lie to them. His determination pulls him through, it helps that his default shame response is to lie, but it doesn’t feel right, and Aziraphale gets messy when it comes to things that don’t feel right.

From lying to Michael and Gabriel to waiting at the shore, Aziraphale does believe he went against God’s will, but I will argue it was only for that span and no further. Aziraphale initially thinks he has been cast out as an angel and has been turned into a demon. He has not been. He expresses that he lied to thwart the will of God. This is a departure from his earlier claim that he doesn't think killing the kids is what God wants. While Crowley agrees with the ‘thwarting the will of God’ description, I think Crowley has accidentally and unknowingly talked Aziraphale out of that interpretation by the end of the scene. (I sometimes read “the will of God” in this sentence as a term of art for the policy positions of heaven, but that feels like a cop out, so I’m going to ignore that interpretation.)

Aziraphale's claim to have lied to thwart the will of God happens when he is under the impression he is already a demon and is about to be escorted to hell. If Aziraphale believes things based on what maintains his sense of self, how did he end up putting himself, however temporarily, into the worldview that he was a fallen angel who lied to thwart the will of God? When someone motivated reasonings their way into believing something terrible, it is to prevent themselves from believing something worse. Here lies one of the biggest tragedies of Aziraphale. 

At least for that span of time, waiting at the shore of Uz, he would have preferred to be a demon over being caught in the middle. When Crowley doesn’t understand why Aziraphale thinks they are going to hell together, his first choice of words to express to Crowley that he thinks he has fallen are “I’m like you now.” He could hope that the reason he didn’t fit in with heaven was because he was always supposed to be a demon, hope that he would fit in with hell and gt to work together with Crowley. The forces of hell exist because God wills it to be so, maybe he could do better as an extension of God’s will as a demon. At least then he would know what he was supposed to do, and what he was supposed to be. He could go back to just doing what he was told. None of that is realistic of course. He is trying to find something to cling to that he could believe more readily than he could cope with reality. 

He now lives with a sword of Damocles on him, and will for the next 4500 years. Heaven isn’t for him, he doesn’t fit in anywhere, he will likely spend the rest of his immortal interactions with the angels locked into half honesty at best, and the only person who knows why is still his enemy on paper. Speaking freely is something he may never be able to do again. Aziraphale is stuck being internally alienated from the institution of heaven while still on opposite sides to Crowley. He is trapped in the worst of both worlds. His question to Crowley towards the end of the minisode, “but what am I?” might be the saddest line we hear from him in the show.

The Canary in the Coal Mine

By the end of the conversation he is aware he is still an angel. I believe after the sword incident, Aziraphale believes God to be omniscient, and the lack of divine punishment raining down on him is proof of God's tolerance if not approval of his actions. He thought he went too far this time, and assumed he had fallen because he assumed God would know he lied about the children. He had no reason to believe that the institution had found out, and I don’t think he believes Crowley would have told on him, certainly not as a confidently assumed given.  

“You think you’re a demon? With your curly little… and your neat white…” Now that Crowley has essentially told him 'you would know if you became a demon because it would metaphysically change you,' and we saw Crowley’s wings flickering in Before the Beginning suggesting that starts kicking in at the first sign of wavering, Aziraphale can use his metaphysical state of still being fully an angel to prove that whatever he has done isn’t grounds to fall in the eyes of God. If he does ‘the wrong thing’ God would immediately know, and he would immediately change. As long as that hasn’t happened, he is aligned with God. (Crowley doesn’t interpret things the same way because he considers God to be some combination of not entirely omniscient due to not always paying attention, “God, ya listening?” and being too indifferent these days for it to matter, “That’s all it took to be a demon in the old days.”)

In Aziraphale’s mind, God instantly knows everything he did, and if he hasn't become a demon, that means his original take, that God didn't want the kids whacked, was correct. He gets to preserve the idea that he is fully aligned with God’s will. However, this opens the can of worms he had been avoiding by thinking he was getting sent to hell for thwarting the will of God. The entire rest of the population of heaven was down to whack the kids. Aziraphale now lives in a universe where publicly acting in accordance with his best guess at God's plan could be a death sentence, not because he might get it wrong, but because he might be the only one to get it right.

But if the other angels are also still angels, doesn’t that validate them too? Yes and no, but mostly no. I’m going to circle back to this in a later post, because it is big and important and needs to be discussed while integrating a lot of other things from other points on the timeline. For the time being let us understand it as: He thinks they have things wrong, but he only thinks of himself as being potentially accountable for getting things wrong.

As Aziraphale sees it in this moment, he now lives in a universe where the entire institution of heaven is dramatically misaligned with God's will, he has no power to fix it, and will be instantly crushed if he tries. Situations like these are where it gets really useful to not always consciously believe everything you believe. This is now something Aziraphale can believe when he needs to, but won’t look at when he doesn’t. A lot of the shift we will see him go through over the next 4500 years is not really how strongly he believes heaven is misaligned with his values and God’s will, it’s how easily and how often he can allow himself to believe it. 

Part 4/10

End Note: Deciding that God’s will is (whatever your intuition tells you) is a very dangerous life hack that leads to a lot of extremely toxic behaviour IRL. The worst of the toxic Christians often have some version of this, where they are convinced that everything that feels right to them has been rubber stamped by God, and everything that feels wrong to them is punishable across the board. When an authoritative religion decides something is God’s will, that tends to come along with an insistence that it is everyone’s responsibility to act accordingly. If you consider yourself able to intuit what God wants, that can extend to putting yourself on a hierarchy, because what God wants is universal and has implications for everyone. 

As I brought up in the ineffability post (part 3/10), Aziraphale’s concept of ineffability is a mix of Christian and Daoist themes. When Aziraphale is at his most Christian themed he can slip into the toxic controlling pattern, early Edinburgh, some of the bandstand fight, some aspects of the Ball. Where he is at his most Daoist themed, he will only apply the lifehack to deciding if his behaviour is the right choice for himself. 

On a book on a subject that can't be put into words: The Daodejing opens by telling you that the Dao can't be described in words, and then proceeds to be a book on the Dao, written in words. It never presents itself as infallible or as a work of the divine, but the contradiction does still raise eyebrows for obvious reasons. The legendary origin story reconciles the contradictions by saying Laozi was essentially badgered into writing it. The text likely had multiple historical authors, so as funny as I find the Laozi being nagged into it story, I think it is better explained by an analogy from Chan Buddhism (the half Daoism precursor to Zen).

You can see the moon (the way) for yourself with or without someone pointing at it. A finger (words) pointing at the moon should not be mistaken for the moon, and no amount of pointing at the moon will force someone to see it. It's not like it's some kind of heresy to try pointing at the moon, so naturally people try. Sometimes it might help, and sometimes people decide it's actually a coded manual for how to live forever by drinking mercury. Individual results will vary.

[themculibrary]

"Numbered" Fic Titles Masterlist 2

part one

5 times it wasn’t a hug and the 1 time it was - parkrstark T, 31k

Summary: 5 times it wasn’t a hug and the one time it was.

Or…

The one where Tony has a habit of not-really-but-kinda-sorta hugging Peter and finally gets it right when it matters the most.

5 Times Peter Saves An Animal and 1 Time He Can't (ao3) - hopeless_hope G, 16k

Summary: Tony's penthouse turns into an actual zoo and it's all Peter's fault.

17 or 18 Times (ao3) - AdamantSteve clint/steve E, 2k

Summary: Steve is always up for sex. Always. So one day his boyfriend Clint gives him permission to have sex with him all day long. And Steve has a refractory period of about twenty seconds so... you can imagine.

Totally shameless PWP that I am actually a little bit ashamed of.

20 questions (ao3) - bevioletskies gamora/peter T, 118k

Summary: Wasp has a new competition in store for the students of Avengers Academy, and there’s money involved. So obviously, Peter and Gamora have to pretend to be a couple in order to win. Wait, what?

21st Century Brooklyn Boys (ao3) - khaosNotRefundable T, 121k

Summary: In which Steve & Bucky from the 1930s wind up time-traveling to the 21st century and finally run into each other…sort of. Brooklyn’s still Brooklyn. Only bustling, shiny, and very expensive. Bucky wants to know why this little yahoo of his is now Big and Sad. And Steve’s pretty certain the last time he saw him, Bucky wasn’t a very confused, quiet, long-haired, dangerous version with so many knives…and a metal arm…

OR:

Who’d’ve thunk procrastinating an arts assignment could save two pals in another century?

1946 (fanfiction.net) - WintersSunrise T, 36k

Summary: When a mercenary presumed dead threatens to unravel a timeline, Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson are thrust back to 1946 where the fates of Peggy Carter, Howard Stark, and S.H.I.E.L.D. hang in the balance. They navigate a painful past fraught with post-war shadows while deciding whether to preserve the timeline or remake it.

a million mile fall from grace (thank god we missed the ground) (ao3) - Heather wanda/vision G, 12k

Summary: What if Wanda liked historical romance novels instead of sitcoms?

fourth of july (ao3) - AliuIce0814 steve/bucky M, 7k

Summary: All of Steve’s best and worst birthdays have somehow featured Bucky Barnes.

Geriatric Road Trip, 2015 (ao3) - what_alchemy steve/bucky N/R, 4k

Summary: Bucky was the eldest of four.

G.I. Joes and 2AM Diners (ao3) - OhCaptainMyCaptain steve/bucky E, 100k

Summary: They look nothing like what they used to. Time and life have completely changed them. But as they sit there in silence, eating two halves of one cupcake, letting Brooklyn remind there where they came from, and enjoying a sky full of stars… They are those same little boys, somewhere deep down. For just a second, you’d be able to see them again.

And Bucky thinks to himself that maybe it’s little moments like these – fleeting as they may be – that remind him why life is still worth living.

Half a Minute and Thirty Seconds (ao3) - mrasaki clint/phil T, 18k

Summary: He's not hiding, he's on vacation. (and adopted by a dog.)

It’s 3am and We Must Be Lonely (ao3) - monicawoe steve/bucky T, 2k

Summary: Steve and Bucky go on a motorcycle ride to Coney Island in the middle of the night. The amusement parks are closed but that doesn’t keep them from having some much-needed fun.

Lucky Thirteen (ao3) - agentsimmons bruce/tony N/R, 150k

Summary: Widowed father, and billionaire genius, Tony Stark and single father, and nuclear physicist, Bruce Banner meet at a science conference. One has six kids and the other has seven. So of course that’s a recipe for disaster love in the making.

Rule #1: Peggy Carter is sometimes wrong (ao3) - burninglights peggy/angie, ana/edwin T, 25k

Summary: The four times Peggy apologises to Angie, and the one time she doesn’t. With an extra few chapters of Angie being (always) right.

Or: Peggy falling in love with another scrappy Brooklyn kid, in a mostly-canon re-write of Agent Carter season 1 and a non-canon-re-write of season 2, because we all know how that went down. Domestic shenanigans from New York to L.A.

//

Peggy Carter pushes open the door and takes a corner seat, still feeling like she’s somehow betraying her Queen by being publicly seen drinking coffee twice in a week (and /enjoying/ it, too). Angie spots her from across the Automat and comes hurrying over, a huge, shit-eating grin plastered to her face. “English!” She bends down and pulls the woman into a tight, brief hug.

When Angie finally pulls away, Peggy isn’t sure what she’s more concerned about – the fact that this waitress doesn’t seem to understand the meaning of personal space (of which she herself places great importance) or the fact that she actually finds herself enjoying the said invasion of personal space. She clears her throat. “I have a name, you know,” she says. “It’s Peggy. Peggy Carter.”

Six times Melinda May spent time with a member of the Avengers Initiative (ao3) - Minnow melinda/bruce T, 5k

Summary: Melinda May, interacting with her own team and that of the Avengers.

That one special person to annoy for the rest of my life (ao3) - artsies loki/tony M, 6k

Summary: Tony and Loki end up drunk in Vegas - and married, to both their surpise. Loki turns out to be a devoted husband, as does Tony, so they stay that way.

In secret.

The One Where Clint is Wanda’s Weakness (ao3) - JinxQuickfoot T, 5k

Summary: Agatha dragged her hostage around in front of her, yanking the strings so he was forced up onto his knees. “Told you I had a very special surprise for you. Now—standdown, dear.”

Slowly, still not quite believing this was real, Wanda lowered her hands, trying to find her voice again. “Clint?” ————————————– So that’s where Clint was during WandaVision

The Third Option (ao3) - Uncertainty_Principle M, 220k

Summary: Homecoming A/U.

Ben and May divorced before Peter’s parents died, so when Ben is murdered Peter goes into foster care. It takes just a tiny taste of superpowers for Peter to decide he doesn’t want to put up with his horrible foster father anymore—the streets are infinitely more appealing. All he wants is to be Spider-Man anyway.

So he leaves.

Simple.

Simple, that is, until Iron Man needs Spider-Man’s help. Peter isn’t about to turn down an opportunity to fight alongside Tony Freaking Stark, but he also isn’t going to let his hero know that his recruit is a fifteen-year-old homeless dropout. So they strike a deal. Peter will help Tony. In return, the mask stays on.

And that’s when things get complicated.

Three Deaths (ao3) - glorious_spoon peggy/daniel T, 1k

Summary: Three ways it could have gone for Jack, Peggy, and Daniel, and how it went instead. Inspired by this prompt.

Two Hours (ao3) - parkermunson_bright G, 1k

Summary: Tony’s in a meeting. It’s been two hours. You can only imagine how bored out of his mind he is. Luckily a certain Spider can get him out of this.

[authormars]

listen if it was abt what I want it would be all of them . take a random guess/pick one you love the most and bless us with war au-

We'll go with the heaven one, as that one has an actual, well thought out story (and Barb doesn't die in this version)

Heaven and Hell are at war (Thanks Demon King!!) Diavolo is around 20k years old (4k years younger than he is in my normal au) and Lucifer is around 19k.

Before the war, there's a meeting to try and get them to make peace again. There, Diavolo meets Lucifer for the first time. They happen to stand near each other before the meeting and Diavolo immediately thinks "SAINTS AND SINNERS HES GORGEOUS"

Lucifer is an archangel at this point, so he's very, very powerful and is always around the other three (Michael, Gabriel, and Uriel) When he catches Diavolo staring, he glares at him and goes "What do you want, demon"

Diavolo's immediate thought was to reply "Your hand in marriage" but he knew better. He simply awkwardly smiled and looked away.

Skip a head a couple hundred years, war is waging, Hell is losing (as they do) Diavolo is out on the battlefield, enjoying fighting, killing angels and such. Though, Barb stops him from killing a certain six angels when he crosses their path.

In one battle, Diavolo encounters two of the archangels, Michael and Lucifer. He manages to get into a fight with Lucifer (mainly for his own fun) but then manages to defeat him. The other angels retreat, not realizing they left one of their own behind, and Diavolo takes him as a prisoner of war (which both sides are doing)

Lucifer is not happy to be locked up in a room, in the basement of the castle, in Devildom. But he can't do anything because magical handcuffs prevent him from using magic. Diavolo visits him all the time, growing fond of him (though Lucifer seems to hate him more every time)

Diavolo's father suggests they do an experiment on him. See what happens when an angel indulges in sin.

Diavolo does the easy one first. Wrath. He steps inside of Lucifer's room and allows him to fight him, allowing him to win, on occasion. Then, gluttony. A starving man loves a feast (and ignores his virtues).

Diavolo took notice that Lucifer's pearly white wings had begun to grey, and not from dirt given the angel cleaned them every day.

Diavolo continued with each sin, slowly watching his favorite angel descend from heaven, slowly becoming corrupt and sinful.

The final two proved to be difficult. Lust and sloth. Lucifer's wings were nearly black, one sin should do the trick. Yet, the angel never seemed to stop doing anything. He would pace or talk or scratch at the walls. Anything to keep him busy. So, Diavolo resorted to lust.

It took weeks of befriending the angel, then months of getting him to fall in love with him. Once he had finally turned his wings black, the war was lost and heaven wanted its angels back.

Heaven was not happy when Lucifer returned, wings as black as night. But the Father said what happened was out of his control, so he was allowed to stay.

Lucifer found himself strangely missing Devildom. He didn't have to worry there about being the perfect angel. Around Diavolo, he didn't have to care as much about anything.

And when Lilith happened, Lucifer fought and lost and fell

In the end, Diavolo got his favorite angel and Lucifer got his prince.