#thats why theyre the Silver Death

[silverjurors]

In my MCD rewrite, 17 year old Janus NoLastNameGiven looked at Irene's obsessive and violent boy toy (Mortal Edition) said "yeah I'll absorb that form of love into my belief system", and proceeded to become a Juror, going on to kill thousands. And you know what? Xavier would be proud.

[floralovebot]

How was aquaman a bad father/mentor? Also did aquaman ever see Garth as his son?

Well, before death of a prince, Arthur was mostly bad in the way all of the mentors were bad. In that they yknow,, let children fight bad guys with them and actively encouraged that actually.

But other than that, Arthur was a decent guardian! I know I tend to shit on Arthur sometimes but he honestly didn't do that bad of a job raising Garth. He insisted that Garth go to school, helped him out with his school work, did the bare minimum in feeding and housing him (well,,, they lived in a cave for a while but still), encouraged him to be friends with the titans, supported him when he wanted to be independent with Tula, consistently protected and comforted him,, I mean, as far as dc guardians go, Arthur was actually pretty good yknow?

Arthur being a Bad Dad to garth really did start with death of a prince. Like when I say that completely fucked their relationship forever, I mean it.

As for Arthur seeing Garth as a son,,, honestly, I think it's a little up for debate. His dialogue in death of a prince definitely outright says that he doesn't, but personally, I think that had more to do with Arthur being a little immature and emotionally dense. He did think of Garth as a son, he just didn't realize it until after he tried to kill him aldhg

[entering--hyperspace]

Tribune Echowatcher (Ls1)

My design musings below

Literally only doing this bc I love Leo soooo so so so so so so much. I also in general just love character design So!

1st. I Know I wanted to push the limits of what Charr Look like, I know theyre big ""cats"" but whenever I design ocs I like to push boundaries and play with what aesthetic restrictions exist.

Hyenas came to me (i think, it was 6 years ago when I originally made him so my memory is foggy) because I saw Hyenas around Ascalon and thought, what a fun concept to play with.

I knew I really wanted the very clear shape of hyena ears to stay while also keeping the charr 2 ears, my only choice was to kind of shift the horn placement around. You can see that his ears cover half of the horns, and that theyre a further back on his head in general asba result. I really didnt want to limit myself with the shape of charr ears bc even though I love them, having a character with very clear rounded Hyena ears was too charming of a concept for me to drop.

2. I inverted the colors of a Hyena! Hyena cubs are actually born with black fur and then get a lighter shade as they grow as with many animals, but I thought it would just be a fun way to play with a more unique color scheme, a primary black/gray fur with orange highlights than simply keeping a more realistic and usual color pallet.

3. Spotted Hyenas have some shaggy fur! Its so cute! Its thinner around the neck which I thought was another key feature of the animal that I wanted to translate onto Leo.

4. His armor is definitely not what I consider to be super unique, I needed a ls1-HoT quick armor to draw him in, so I just threw shapes together. I did however want to keep his color coded: Green. Originally I was trying to find some huge complimentary color to add to his outfit but realized that the orange of his mane and spots was already complimentary enough that adding a different color or more to his outfit would feel like Too much. Thus I went with homogenous green/blues and silver for the metal color.

5. His nose...his head shape...his more "Canine" Features I guess are just huge charmpoints to me. Yes this is me just gushing about my love for my own character but if you clicked read more thats ur own doing. Ive said this before but Leo is Heavily Mexican coded, this plays into both his design and lore in a lot of ways.

Xolotl is the Nahuatl god of death, hes a dog! Dogs being a bit of a symbolism for companions in the afterlife and guides was really important to me, so its why I do really adore what canine features Leo does have (I know Hyenas arent canines but you can see the same kind of shapes.)

Id gush more but thats the big ones....

Leo became a Tribune of the Blood Legion, because bangar wanted one of his own reporting back on the growing power of the Pact and the Pact Commander that was less of a loose canon than Rytlock, especially as theyre investigating draconic threats with the underlying ulterior motive. For now, hes playing along.

[ecliip]

SLUGCAT REDESIGNS YIPPEE

hello rain world community please click for higher quality (downpour spoilers btw)

also lots of design rambling underneath the cut. warning its very long and all over the place

-OKAYOKAY so you may notice that Survivor, Monk, and Gourmand all have similar markings- darker back patch, light tummy, tipped ears/stalks- this is because Gourmand is their grandpa in my interpretation!! they share traits because famly..

-neither Survivor nor Monk are fully grown, though Survivor is almost an adult. theyre the slugcat equivalent of teenagers. thats why theyre a little shorter than everyone else. however Enot and Rivulet are fully grown, Rivulet is just built for a different environment and Enots a fucked up inversion of Survivor

-Hunter, of course, gots the rots. i dont know why nobody utilizes Hunters scarred eye in HLL designs tbh- because the scar and the closed eye together make an X shape. and you know what else has an X shape? rot cyst. food for your thoughts :)

-the feds don't want you to know this but you can make any slugcat of your choice as fat and round as you want and nobody can stop you because they are your slugcat designs. anyways chubby arti :) and chubby nightcat :) and plump monk :)

-Nightcat has little silver splotches because I SAID SO. the silver bits by their eyes were actually inspired by Moonwatcher from Wings of Fire with those silver teardrop scales by her eyes, i always thought that was cool. my WoF phase haunts me to this day,,, also Nightcats ears point sideways because its cute

-okay you're probably wondering what the FUCK is up with Enot. the answer: who knows??? i made them La Creatura. theyre a little freak of nature who shouldnt exist but they glitched into existence or something and they have four ears and four hands and six eyes as a result

-Gourm... im love Gourm... theyre the second tallest slugcat, Spearmaster takes first place as resident stickbug

-okay so! if you may notice, pre-canon event Arti and current Arti have some differences. previous Arti has some little scars, and a darker end to their tail. current Arti has burns that cover those. thats intentional! i like to think that when the incident happened, the anger and grief took them over, erasing all personhood in the eyes of both the scavs and theirself in favor of carnage and fury and destruction. the burns represent that. the signs of a life well lived, that little dot of personhood? gone, replaced only by rage and hurting and memories of a tragic incident. (dont worry Arti fans in my little au they arent sad and enraged forever, they do heal. eventually.)

-more design notes about Arti but their right leg is burnt and hurts to put too much pressure on, so they prefer exploding if they have a long distance to cover or somewhere to reach. also, i gave Arti a tailtip that resembles a wick that was a result of the burn scars, thank you @pansear-doodles for bein cool about people takin inspiration from your amazing designs!!

-Spearmaster is comically tall and i love that. they also have Suns's logo on the back of their head. its like a watermark! Hunter doesn't have a watermark because in my interpretation, the rot stuff was intentional, added by NSH as a ticking time bomb as a sort of motivation for Hunter, so like why bother claiming a slugcat thats gonna either ascend or experience a fate worse than death

-also the pearl experience left a permanent scar for Spears because why not

-Rivulet.. the funny fishie.... i made almost zero changes to my orevious design of them because it is perfect. just added like some extra gills. theye very short and have little ears because little ears probably help with swimming and stuff to be like aerodynamic. they also have those little flaps on their side like nudibranches!! lil reference to sea slugs :)

-Saint takes inspiration from lynxes (ears) and sea bunnies (the spots!!). Saint is also the oldest slugcat here. i made their forehead dots eyes because that is COOL !!!! i love extra eyes. also chest floof :)

-Survivor and Monks parents had to take care of THREE pups ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT A COLONY TO SUPPORT THEM and they have zero special abilities to their name unlike Arti or Gourmand. theyre gonna be a little scuffed up

-Arti's pups are a mix between a carnivorous slugcat (Arti) and a regular slugcat (whoever Arti had kids with). the blue pup has a diet like Gourmands, where it can eat meat but it wont get as much out of it as a carnivorous slugcat. the green pup has the typical Slugcat diet.

i'll update this if i think of anything else to add!!!

[hybridshaverisen]

So I finally watched the FNAF movie! Here’s my live reaction!

* 1st dream scene: so if Mike is an Afton, and Garrett is a stand in for CC, this could mean that CC died first.

* Phone guy = W. Afton theory?? Hello???

* SAVE MY BOY DOUG. HE HAS SEEN THINGS

* Vanessa’s appearance: THEY REFUSE TO SAY MIKE’S LAST NAME

* Park scene: THEYRE OPENING UP THE IDEA THAT MIKE SCHMITT IS AFTON

* Side note: if this is the Aftons, we got the sibling ages. Michael as the oldest, CC as the middle child, and Elizabeth as the youngest. I mean it fits lol.

* OOH. CLOWN GIRL ANIMATRONIC. BABY???

* “[The killer] influences them.” I CALLED IT!!! ITS JUST LIKE THE FUCKING BOOKS!!! FUCK YEAHHH!!!

* ??????? VANESSA IS WILLIAM AFTON’S DAUGHTER???? HUH????

* “I won’t be any used to you.” -Vanessa. Hello?? 👀👀

* ABBY IN BABY!!

* Abby with the arcade: JUST LIKE THE OPENING OF SILVER EYES!!

* Wait, but that was Charlie in that position. Is Abby supposed to be Charlie???

* WILLY BOY! HELLO!!! :D

* HE REMEMBERS????

* I love his voice :)

* YEAAAAHHH!! HIRING DUDE IS WILLY AFTON CONFIRMED!!!!

* OH! THEY HAD TO BE REMINDED! JUST LIKE THE BOOKS!

* Hello FNAF 4 mini game :)

* Eh.. The death could’ve been done better.

* But at least we got confirmation that it wasn’t an instadeath :)

* Fun fact! I showed the FNAF 3 cutscene to my mother who’s a doctor and told her what was happening. She said that depending how he got steward, he could’ve been alive for weeks before finally dying.

* WHY ARE THEY STILL RED?? THATS ONLY WHEN WILLY IS IN CONTROL????

* Wait. Could the “Vanessa is W. Afton’s daughter” a false memory? Just like the game?

* ITS THE FNAF 3 TRAILER

* YOOOOOO FNAF 1 SONG

* OUR ANTHEM

* YO BALLOON BOYYYY

* AAAAYYY! FNAF 2 MUSIC BOX!

* AYO? DISTORTED VOICE???

* Distorted voice: C O M E F I N D M E

* “Come find me”???????

* So this is obviously said by W. Afton. It’s used with the same voice by the FNAF 2 mini game. Does this mean that the voice in FNAF 2 also said by W. Afton?

* My dad told me that the actress for Abby is going to be in the second movie which clearly takes place in FNAF 2 location. If she’s a stand in for Charlie, she’s going to die here.

Final thoughts:

Overall, I’m really happy how it turned out! It’s defiantly prioritized the most hardcore fans, and that’s ok!

The biggest criticism I have is that the Afton death scene could’ve been done so much better. This is one of the most iconic moments in FNAF. I wish it recognized that.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Alright, holidays are over and Im regularly taking the bus again so its time to read A Court of Mist and Fury. I've made through the prologue and the first three chapters and I feel like I already have a lot of thoughts so Im splitting them into two posts. This one is just gonna be random silly bullshit that I wanted to mention but dont have any deep thoughts on, the next one is gonna be my thoughts about the character development that happened between the books

why does Sarah J Maas always seem to use the vaguely pagan (?) moon and moon cycle imagery when theres like, an all-woman religious institution in her books. Like, Ianthe has that tattoo on her forehead and shes dressed in blue robes and wears a lot of silver and it reminded me of that one random aside in Crescent City where we hear about those priestesses that worship the goddess Luna, like with the robes and headbands and stuff, when theyre first initiated they get a headband with a waxing crescent moon, then when theyre at their peak they get one with a full moon and when they get older they get one with a waning crescent. Like, obviously I know that the moon is associated with with witchcraft and feminine magic and whatnot so it makes sense in a doylist sense, but like, whats the in-universe explanation

You know what, maybe I do have deep thoughts about some of this stuff, what the hell is up with the High Priestesses? Theres twelve of them ?? for some reason?? Theyre said to be the advisors of the high lords on top of their religious duties, so if there were gonna be more than seven, I would think there would be 14, two for each court. But they actually appear to be wholly seperate, like they just dont belong to any particular court. And thats weird to me, but Prythian is technically one united kingdom (get it, cuz the map looks like fucking great britain for some reason) despite some of their inter-court tension so maybe that makes sense. But then WHY do they have such a Night Court-core aesthetic, wearing dark blue (night sky) and silver (stars) with tattoos. If they were an institution thats completely seperate from the courts, I feel like they should use imagery/an aesthetic thats not already kinda taken by another court. Like, idk, rainbows maybe, thats the only thing I can think of rn and it could also make them a symbol of Prythian's unity or something

This is only tangentially related, but how come the Night Court doesnt seem to have any moon imagery associated with it? I say seem to because I havent actually seen it yet, but from the fanart and from what I can remember from cari can read's summary, its all stars and darkness and dreams but not the moon??? which is the thing I personally associate most with night but okay

I was not expecting a sex scene in the first three chapters and I was especially not expecting Feyre to describe her having an orgasm as "I passed away". Granted, that might just be the german translation being weird, I dont have access to the original english but still. Then again, I guess they dont call it the little death for nothing

Speaking of the sex scene, I thought the people saying this were joking but no, she was literally asking him about the political implications of their marriage on some random ass night while they were getting it on, thats hilarious. And then she got TURNED OFF when Tamlin told her there werent any high ladies this series shouldve been a comedy

Last thing I wanted to mention is the use of the formal and informal yous in the translation, which is still really good. As a reminder, du/dir = informal you; Sie/Ihnen = formal you; Euch/Ihren = the most formal you, usually reserved for nobility. Feyre used Euch/Ihren for all the high fae in the first book (atleast for the first half, I havent really kept track of the pronoun usuage), Tamlin and Lucien used du/dir for Feyre, Alis used Euch/Ihren for Feyre. In this book, all the servants still refer to her by Euch/Ihren but Feyre, Tamlin and Lucien are all on a du/dir basis with each other now. Also, Feyre uses Euch/Ihren for Ianthe and honestly, that alone says so much about how important she is within the court, I feel like I didnt even need an explanation of what exactly she does, but this book was written in english qhere they dont have that so I get it

[silvershiverz]

my littol guy, main self insert rn (he is the silver to my shiverz lol)

some random things i didnt feel like adding in the pic

so cuz theres no official look for the ash people that i know of, its a great opportunity to just. make shit up! so i decided theyre a dull color and have spiky tails (somethin about hair turning to nail KERATIN etc etc).

also hes shorter because ash people being small weird little guys is funny (not super small, just a bit noticeable. the mix of metkayina tho makes him appear just short, but average short YKNOW. small for. manhandling purposes wink wink wink wink

hes so bad with spears and bows, he prefers his weird scythe things to anything else. something far range but still controllable is what he needs, and when he gets to it hes just winging them around and its chaotic but also organized, to him at least

his ikran name is isaac because i like it :] isaac is just like. MY IKRAN hes mine so hes THE ikran for any of my na'vi ocs yknow?

he scares children in his village, never on purpose. sometimes he uses his strange looks to his advantage, his hiss is stuttered and the rattle of his tail is enough to freak them out when theyre intentionally bothering him. even if it works, he always feels bitter after, and wishes it wouldnt.

not expressive like. at all. he feels A LOT though, sometimes his emotion cracks through for a second, but hes quick to hide it. he prefers to handle it alone.

likes to collect pretty shells, but he only grabs the best. sometimes he takes them and makes them into a bracelet for himself or someone he cares about

the tooth on his neck belongs to an akula! dont ask any questions (he found it, akula's scare him to death)

honestly doesnt have a preference when it comes to being on land, in the air, or in the water. he feels he sticks out like a sore thumb either way

likes to bite affectionately, its not something he really thinks about. he'll bite himself as a stim of sorts, so if someone is close enough he might just do it to them instead

the scar on his eye actually extends to his forehead, he has an injury that affects his memory, and occasionally has dissociative episodes. he works twice as hard because he wants to make it clear hes still an effective warrior

speaking of, he is an effective warrior!! he cant bring himself to kill anything more than like.. a fish and he only trains alone because his weapon is not a fighting weapon, its a killing weapon if that makes sense. he doesnt wanna seriously hurt anyone

careless when it comes to his own safety. he will throw caution to the wind if someone he loves is being threatened, ESPECIALLY if its isaac (this is true for all of my na'vi, isaac is wholly beloved smh). will do crazy dumb shit (thats why he has a bullet wound 💀)

never lets his enemies know hes afraid, very nonchalant and bored about most things, and honestly hes pretty passive in general.

fidgets with things constantly, his clothes, rings, etc hes fuckin everything up

thats all i can think of so. hi skdfjsf

[octopodian]

i realized i can just answer the questions. so heres that ask game i reblogged but about aide and i answer them myself. thank you everyone who asked about them here is even more (i copy n pasted the answers i already had).

are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?

their color is like a bright blood red! they also are associated with black and bronze bc thats the other colors they are. they only wear like khaki cargo shorts tho so....

what sort of music would they like? have you thought about what genres or bands do they lean towards? do they have a favorite song?

in real life? linkin park (numb, faint, papercut), the “let the bodies hit the floor” song, bring me to life by evanescence. they exist in dnd world tho so they dont have bands per se but they like metal! their bud izzy is a metal vocalist and they think him singing is calming. any depressing music with people yelling or really harsh noise is their thing

weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?

they are their own weapon!! they are a monk so they use punches and kicks. they had a sword at first bc its part of the gear dnd characters get lol but sold it once their punches did more damage. they also have a TINY bit of magic (warlock) so they use spells too, but far less. they like to brag about not needing a weapon but also theyre not that good at fighting lol.

how crafty/resourceful are they?

ummmm theyre kinda crafty but theyre not very creative, so i think it depends. working out an ingenious solution to something is Not their thing, but they can do delicate bead work and shit. give em instructions to follow and theyre golden.

how do they typically dress? does their wardrobe lean more towards practicality or aesthetics?

they are usually naked because robot, but they do prefer aesthetics kinda. the big ass pants and no shirt tits out sort of look (they dont have tits) is what they r going for. they crave looking goth and such but are too self conscious rn, anything that “should” make them feel confident just makes them miserable

how do they wear their hair? do they care a lot how their hair looks?

it bald

favorite animal? why?

they like anything that’s associated with death and anything with an exoskeleton bc they like to think of their metal as an exoskeleton. so like bugs and vultures and such. honorable mention for crabs (i will be honest i dont even remember why but aide likes crabs) and rabbits (friends pet)

do they have a nickname? who gave it to them? if it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?

their friend tboy fried to give them “tincan” as a nickname and they held a grudge against him for it. they really really hate nicknames, “aide” is the only name theyre comfortable with. its pronounced like Ay-Dee though! so people call them “aid” or “ed” assuming the e is silent and they get angry about that too.

favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?

they dont HAVE to eat bc theyre a robot. the only thing they have ever, in their life, eaten or drank is whiskey. so... i guess whiskey? they would keep kosher if they ate but again they do not

if they wear jewelry, what kind? do they prefer silver or gold? do they have a favorite gem?

they do!!! their most prized possession is a necklace with a magically frozen real teardrop on it (gnaeus gave it to them). wearing one is a social sign of being in mourning; they never take it off. they make their own jewelry and are proficient with jewelers tools. they prefer bronze over those two and rubies/red shit are their fave but onyx and diamonds cool too.

what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

ohhhhhhh lol they have a LOT of 15 yr old cas in them lol. more than i realized at first. theyre REALLY depressed and angry in a way i can relate to so there's a lot there... i do think they are MORE angry than i am tho and they have very different priorities in life. theyre also pretty actively suicidal and at a low point whereas i am doing very well :). i think *i* would like them but idk if they would like me. we are autism. also i am a gay man and aide is TECHNICALLY attracted to men but not as a man.

how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?

theyre coming up on two years i think in terms of when i made them. theyre 6 in canon. their birthday is Eleasias 20th which is 8/20 irl. this is NOT when i made them, i chose it bc its the very end of summer where the light starts dwindling. they never celebrated until their friends made a huge deal out of the 6th one, and theyre fine with it but wont go out of their way to do it themself

what languages do they speak? how fluently?

common, gnomish, elvish, dwarven, and grippli (which is a frog language)! you could sort of say gnomish is their native language (built by gnomes) but they grew up speaking it and common basically the same amount. they also speak common and gnomish sign language. theyre still fluent in dwarven and elvish but they use them FAR more rarely so theyre rusty.

also they have a magical ability to read Any writing (warlock eldritch invocations baby!) but this does not translate to speaking

are they any good with numbers?

theyre like fine with them. not a calculator, but pretty good. their favorites are 80, 18, and 8.

how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now?

if you ask them they have No family. No relatives. they consider gnaeus a father and spent their entire life including “childhood” with him, but are angsty and moany about how actually they are nothing to each other and gnaeus has his own family and aide isnt part of it and boo hoo. they sort of have a dad (person who wanted them built) but he’s dead. they have a friend who considers them a sibling, but he told them this and they threw a fit so that didnt go well. and theres a LOT of other “aide” robots (they are aide 80 after all) but aide doesnt consider them or the gnomes that made them “family”

do they have any pets? what do they call their pets?

THEY DONT YET but i kinda want them to find some random possum or something and claim it is their warlock familiar. no one can tell if aide is joking or if aide thinks that a familiar is just any animal you decide to call that.

how did they spend their summers/free time as a child?

um they weren’t ever really a KID but they spent most of their life traveling with gnaeus, staying with rich friends of his and being kinda allowed to do whatever.

their opinion on lying, stealing, and killing?

lying: good unless you lie to them in which case it is very  mean

stealing: fine*

killing: fine*

*once a person is dead they have really strict morals for how to treat dead people respectfully. they will never ever take something from a corpse (a LOT of dnd is looting corpses. they do not do this.) and they usually leave a small stone by the body or grave as a sign of respect. they will, however, absolutely kill innocent people. they respect the dead almost more than they respect the living.

are they quick to anger? what sets them off?

They are. And Everything Does.

if applicable, can they drive? if they have their own, what color is their vehicle? is the inside neat and tidy, or a mess?

in a universe with cars, probably they can drive but only manual. theyd want red and itd be pretty clean bc they wouldnt use it for anything except driving.

their favorite place to be?

Um idk. They like being near gnaeus but he's a person not a place

do they sleep well at night?

they dont sleep at all, they just enter a “rest mode” where they can still see and are fully conscious but dont move. that said they do NOT sleep well at night LOL. they hate resting bc it means theyre alone with their thoughts for 6 hours so they try to avoid it when possible but people get MAD so they cant rly get away with it and they don't bother trying.

how would you describe their voice? can they sing?

They have a really deep and affectless voice cuz robot. It gets high and screechy when they're mad. They can't sing for shit its utterly toneless

do they have any creative hobbies? (art, writing, music, etc)

they make jewelery! they briefly sort of got into makeup but they have weird feelings about physical appearences rn and also it made them feel good and they do Not want to feel good rn. no indulgences allowed

how good/bad is their hearing? what about their eyesight?

pretty fine! Their hearing is average and they have dark vision but only one eye so their depth perception isnt great.

how do they move? are they clumsy? light on their feet? do they use mobility aids?

they are REALLY fast, but they aren't super dexterous. More of a freight train than anything else. they are a monk so they're very agile but compared to monks with actual good stats they're clumsy as hell

if applicable, do they have a favorite sport? do they play any sports or prefer to watch?

They don't watch sports. Theyd think WWE is "real" tho.

how do they show that they care about someone? how do they express that they don't like someone?

They'd rather die than show they care to be honest. they actually try really really hard to impress people that they care about, I think maybe it comes off as showing off sometimes? they will put their body on the line to defend a friends any day tho. And they show they don't like you by insulting you constantly but they also do this if they "like" you so

are they associated with any particular element (air, earth, fire, water)?

Not rly! They're more death themed than element themed.

do they smell like anything notable?

A penny

do they like receiving gifts? giving gifts? what is their ideal gift?

They are sort of neutral both ways. except when gnaeus gives them smth they take that really really seriously. they mostly kinda just feel awkward about it from most ppl. If you punched them they'd consider that a really good gift.

do they have any habits that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd?

I think all their habits are self destructive. OH they refer to people by however they introduce themselves even if other people use nicknames. even to the point of if you have a super super long name they will say the entire thing every single time. This is bc they hate being called nicknames and thus do not call people by them

if applicable, how would your other characters describe them? i mean specifically the people around them.

ahhh idk because the charavters they're around are my friends OCs, they don't interact with any of my other OCs really.

how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are.

not good, not smart, not powerful, not useful, not someone whos perspective is worth listening to or someone who's talents are particularly valuable. they also believe they can't become abt of those things because (TO THEM) you can't become good by wanting to be good, because good people don't have to want it, they just are it. so they're resigned to the fact that they cannot better themself bc their motives aren't pure so anything they do is futile How they'd say it; "I can't just magically make myself a smart or talented or good person. I have to work on it and it would take a while and it wouldn't even matter because I'd only be doing it to try and impress someone. People who are actually important don't have to want it."

do they ever return home?

they don't have one; if they did they've never been

[companionwolf]

Dreamscape (FIST) - Hazard Function aka the first 8 sessions of the campaign

Session 1

1/22/2024 - 3h28m - rooms cleared: 4

Context: started our fist campaign; running the players through a modified Hazard Function (a character funnel normally), which in this game is actually a VR simulation that a NPC is trying to free them from (PCs all took a job that offered lots of benefits in exhange for time spent being used by the corpo who needed testers for the sim)-- all the PCs save Silver are not FIST mercs yet (that comes after the escape)

PCs: Pierce, he/him; Kinship, they/them; Silver, he/him; Hare, she/her; Innsmouth, xe/xem; Molotov, it/its

- this hospital is Weird, and the PCs are starting off strong by realizing that

- Where Are the Nurses, ask the PCs. The Staff. Why Don't We Remember How We Got Here.

- teehee :3c says me

- SURVIVE FUNCTION. RESCUE SOON.

- enter: the pitch black parking lot

- aaaaand they initiated combat already

- YAY A BOLT ACTION RIFLE

- FIRST INJURY OF THE GAME IS A GRAZE

- flashlight to the head says bye bye to half a enemies HP

- Molotov don't die, get away from that truck.

- being lifted by the throat sounds. Painful. Sorry Hare.

- INNSMOUTH WITH THE 'RAM XERSELF INTO THE ONE HOLDING HARE' MANUVER-- WAIT WHAT THE FUCK, THAT WORKED?

- Molotov continues to get shot :/ stop

- CAR EXPLODES ALA XCOM 2, ENEMY 1 DIES

- but Innsmouth, Hare, and Molotov are alive!

- Kinship jumps on a bitch and kills them

- Molotov tries to shoot back at the last enemy, fails ofc

- KINSHIP GETS SHOT AND THEN ALSO A CAR EXPLODES BASICALLY ON TOP THEM BUT THEYRE. ALIVE. they're fine I prommy

- Silver takes the rifle from Molotov, goes -_- and kills the last enemy

- group takes a minute to examine the dead things which are androids, strip them of weapons, and then go smashing parked cars (to find anything they use to patch their injuries)

- in the distance ...

- a office building

- OH fuck a TURRET

- oh they killed it in like. 3 turns

- Molotov's big wound is treated yay

- Silver uses his TRUTH trait

- the referee is kind (+1 medkit)

- Silver helps everyone but himself

- and we begin to move through the office

- that's where we ended today

Session 2

1/23/2024 - 1hr - rooms cleared: 3 (total 7)

- OMG ANOTHER HUMAN

- oh they're hostile ):

- gun turret the second one

- CAN MOLOTOV STOP GETTING SHOT PLS

- Silver continues to be a tank

- everypne is tearing their sleeves off to make makeshift bandages for everyone else ;w;

- Hare with the gun turret killshots

- the singular other hunan they saw has fled

- YIPPEE A LAPTOP

- too bad molotovs too ouch to use it rn

- pause for medical treatment yay

- Silver continues to put others above himself

- Silver: I see a way over this electrified water to the exit door

- * Silver falls in the fucking water *

- Kinship saves his ass from death by spicy water

- Hare nearly eats shit trying to get herself and Molotov across to the exit Silver pointed out

- OH BOY A PISTOL FOR PIERCE

- everyone makes it out the door but more than half fuck up their rolls to jump out instead of walk and take damage from the spicy damage

- ooo another parking lot

- this time ft Light. And barrels

- and also some androids that will shoot the party

- Pierce takes the fucking shot

- THE DICE SAY FAILURE, cue explosion

- so.

- the explosions killed both androids.

- BUT

- it also detonated their grenades, and a car, and a explosive barrel

- SHRAPNEL HELL BE UPON THE PARTY

- ..the dice say everyone got damaged

- everyone has hp at 0 or negative now :,)

- thank God for anesthetic depth optional rules

- anyway they need a REAL hospital

- but all they have is [checks notes] more parking lot that is surrounded by a forest

- and thats where we ended today

Session 3

1/24/2023 - 1h34m - rooms cleared: 0 (7)

- the team finds a bunker in the forest

- Silver leads the group down into it

- fuck the other people in the forest ig

- YAY MEDICAL SUPPLIES

- Silver plays doctor with everyone

- things that exist in this world: portable IVs/blood infusion tech and 'repair biofoam'

- also Silver continues to put himself last

- Kinship go AAAAAA bc ouch ouch fuck ouch

- Hare: can I offer you a paw in this trying time

- Molotov you know crying is okay right

- innsmouth leads further bunker exploration

- Pierce it's okay to ask for help

- SILVER OVEREXTERTED AND PASSED OUT

- and Hare just slings him over her shoulder #BAMF

- oh thank fuck some bunk beds

- let's just. Barricade ourselves in here. For safety

- NO MAN LEFT BEHIND says Pierce

- Hare is touched by the group continuing to be normal and not cruel about her being ultrahuman

- (Molotov voice) IM IN

- ... but the computer is boring

- innsmouth starts first watch, everyone else does a eepy

- and that's where we ended today

Session 4

1/25/2024 - 1hr - rooms cleared: 0 (7)

- Silver isn't used to people caring about him

- the bathroom in the bunker works! rejoice

- Silver gazes into the bathroom sink mirror and has a #Moment

- INSTANT COFFEE YAY

- and pancake mix yay

- Molotov knows how to make pancakes

#canon

- why does everyone in this party drink coffee black (save Kinship who just dumps a lot of sugar in there)

- INNSMOUTH GOT A MEMORY

- its about how xe can't make pancakes lol

- Silver asks God why they're kind, and when that'll stops

- yaaaaay breakfast as a family <3

- OH SHIT that door has a seal on it (the lock kind not the aquatic)

- Silver resigns himself to the party opening the sealed door and going to investigate whats inside

- party resupplies (items, weapons, clothing, etc) and prepares to unseal the door

- that's where we ended today

Session 5

1/26/2024 - 1h21m - Rooms cleared: 2 (9)

- door: unsealed

- bear: present

- hotel: trivago

- Molotov and Pierce do not believe in bear

- SURPRISE BITCH THE BEAR IS REAL

- THE BEAR IS LOOSE

- innsmouth takes a bears set of claws to xer legs oof

- dm makes unintentional bear puns and laughs

- Pierce kills the bear; dm makes another joke

- person on the cot drops some LORE

- also they didn't think hybrids were real

- # of times ppl have touched hares ears: 1

- Pierce Has Opinions On This Experiment

- oh this person is also an amnesiac

- but worse

- like innsmouth really

- Silver gives the person the codename Vex

- group brings back Vex to the bunker amenities

- innsmouth stays behind as the group goes back to scout out the rest of the bunker

- and thats where we ended today

Session 6

1/30/2024 - 1hr - rooms cleared: 0 (9)

- ooooo room of storage whats in there

- oh shit tanks . we xcom 2 in this bitch

- Silver ponders if this is a hospital. fucked up if true, he thinks

- Hare has beef with tanks apparently die to being a animal human hybrid

- Kinship knocks on a tank and their own face presses up against the glass lol #jumpscared

- 'their eyes aren't human. or ultrahuman. they're inorganic. machine.' definitely not foreshadowing

- oh FUCK that says Hare

- Silver leaves the choice to Kinship as what to do as their doppelganger struggles in the tank

- Kinship releases their doppelganger

- uhhhh the doppelganger doesn't have blood (that's probably fine)

- kinships doppelganger remembers more than they do, that's...also fine (:

- Pierce argues if these are all doppelgangers of the group, each should meet their other first

- Silver releases his doppelganger; both consider this being a plot point or hook

- Silvers doppelganger says the Fucking Thing (it's an end to afterlife, the answer to true death)

- THE FINAL DISEASE BABEY (<- this is an Eclipse Phase reference sort of lmao)

- and thats where we ended that session

Session 7

2/1/2024 - 26mins - rooms cleared: 1 (10)

- still in storage releasing the doppelganger

- Hare releases hers, they briefly consider who's the original, which of them is real

- Pierce releases his, explains what the group is doing and offers the doppelganger to join up

- Molotov frees it and Innsmouths doppelganngers

- this was a super short session

Session 8

2/13/2024 - 40mins - rooms cleared: 1 (11)

- group of 10 continue down the stairs

- oh boy a reactor room

- Oh Boy Heavy Androids

- OH BOY COMBAT START

- so. the doppelgangers are constructs ala TMBD <- silver's just opened a gunport on his arm and shot a dude

- a android tries to hack Kinship's doppelganger, fails, PCs don't know this is what it was doing but . Yeah.

- Kinship: is [gestures at the robot doppelganger situation] a problem ? / Silver: nah

- also silver: GM PLS BE NICE

- Pierce will give a fuck Later. Rn is Murder Time

- Molotov is just grateful for the help

- innsmouths doppelganger freezes up so bad Silver has to yell at xer to get xem to act

- Silver + his doppelganger take out the last android together

- the gm realizes 5 pcs + 5 dmpcs vs 3 enemies is not balanced very well. Whoops

- Silver searches for useful items, as he does

- they move to go through a door--

- FLASHBANG (?) OF EVERYONES SENSES

- oh shit WE'RE all in tanks?

- who is this man yelling at us

- why is this room fancy. also alarms?

- we'll find out next time

- tldr:

- they finished the hazard function portion of this part! yay!

Total time: 7h8m - 11/22 rooms cleared - 27/24 clock - finished in: 8 sessions

[maladelusio]

new sons. swapfell... vocal? (workshopping it)

The Royal Scientist took the idea of Judges and Karma to an extreme and managed to manufacture one. A Judge's voice can call down Karma onto a sinner. Vox's... is literally to die for. He’s Empress Toriel’s special Angel of Justice so he has to live in the palace and doesn't get to leave New Home.

Vox's (younger) brother, Tarnish! On the second try, the Scientist tried out Determination, but without access to a fully Determined Soul it was quite diluted, and Papyrus was deemed a failure. Day job in the Snowdin chapter of the Royal Guard, rebel by night.

Vox: (Vox Imperatricis? The Voice of the Empress) 

Judges' voices can call directly to the soul and induce karmic damage based on LV. Vox is that on steroids. A voice that can entrance, cause pain, paralyze, kill - without actually requiring much LV on the part of the person being judged. Any guilt is enough.

Vox couldn't kill someone with LV 0 but he might still be able to paralyze/hypnotize them. if he really pushed it he could probably kill someone with LV 1 but at that point bone attacks would probably work faster.

the previous Royal Scientist tried to use Vox in a coup against the empress but his voice doesn't work on her because she's mentally broken in a way that means she doesnt feel any guilt. so he turned on them instead, to live.

vox took the scientist’s labcoat as a trophy because he is a vindictive bitch at soul. they're free. he won. the triangle on the front of his shirt is made from it, and he tucked a piece of it away for papyrus as well.

empress toriel is the only monster in swapfell who vox has no effect on. vox is absolutely terrified of her for this and other reasons. (childhood trauuumaaa)

my man is not at all in touch with any of his emotions. everythings fine. no i dont care about anyone or anything (because that's not safe). living with a very volatile and homicidal empress and having to watch himself every moment is fine and good actually who could complain. killing people is great and he doesn't have mixed feelings at all (during judgement is one of the only times he feels Right tho so...) 

he can have 1 (one) friend and thats captain alphys, commander of the royal guard. she has a very intimidating presence and never speaks in public other than grunts + gestures. this is because she has social anxiety. she is still alphys. absolutely convinced vox has cupid powers

Tarnish: considered 'rust' for his name but i chose 'tarnish' bc a theme for him is 'silver over gold' (where gold is very much associated with the Empress), being a blemish on her reign, and also a challenge to the idea that gold will not tarnish. 

vox was ignoring papyrus to try and keep empress toriel's attention off him but in a way that worked too well and the empress didn't even remember vox during her rage. so. that didnt work!

vox had and has a quid-pro-quo alliance with the fire elemental clan which allowed him to smuggle papyrus out (and also get him healed by fire elemental specialists)... theyre monsters of their word, and the Empress would never believe them over him.

but this does put him in a very deep debt to the fire elementals for a long time - and also they know that tarnish is a weak point for him.

one day tarnish will be able to demonstrate his own self sufficiency (ability to defend himself from the fire elementals in a way that vox might get word of) but its probably not fun until then. vox never tests it.

a normal monster would have dusted from the damage the Empress did -believable fake death- but Tarnish's DT gives him a weak regenerative factor so he managed to stay together enough for the fire healers to get him + his eye still functions.

the burn scars are perpetually hot (like, physically, not just feeling that way) compared to the rest of his bone. thats one reason why he rolls up his sleeve.  secondary silent reason is he likes to keep them very visible because people get uncomfortable about burn scars under a ruler like this empress toriel!!

gets away with being the most useless Guard employee because Alphys knows he’s friends with Undyne (the explosion obsessed Royal Scientist) 

He and Vox haven't seen each other in years. unmarked little care packages with simple trinkets, ribbons, fabric, show up in Snowdin from time to time.

[fandomtrxsh19]

So, when I read ACOSF, I made kind of play by play notes as a listened to it( I read the audiobook) so.........here’s the chaos

HEAVY SPOILERS FOR ACOSF!!

CASSIAN SAID FUCK

WHOA there’s a LOT of swearing in this

“It’s SEVEN in the morning gods damn it” -nesta archeron

OVERSIZED SHIRTS FOR THE WIN

Feyre and Rhys have 5 houses? Not surprised...

full, inviting breasts......BIG BOOBS OMG CASSIAN YOU HORNY SON OF A BITCH

7 siphons to keep his magic under control? Dayum

So, she rode this unnamed male like a fucking roller coaster?

Depression sex? Depression sex

“Her father was ashes in the wind” DAMN THATS EDGY

“A moment of release among the darkness inside her” NESTA BBY THIS ISNT HEATHY

“She avoided both of them” not surprised

OOOOH RHYS HATES HER TEA IS BEING SPILT

So, depression sex and depression alcohol? Yup

*checks chapter count* 80 CHAPTERS??!?! Oh shit this is gonna be a triiiip

OOOOOOOOO RHYS AND NESTA BEEF

Feyre trying to apologize to nesta........she’s trying

“You’re done, Nesta” The fuuuuuck.....

So, nesta’s moving and training with cassian...........Feyre, this isn’t a good idea omg

Feyre holy shit what the fuck are you doing, you TOTAL HELICOPTER SISTER?

“I never want to speak to you again!” damn

ELAIN TRAUMA!!! Yay???

MOR FOCUSED CHAPTER!!!?

she has brown eyes? Ok

FUCK SHES WEARING A BLUE DRESS FUCK

nesta knows about mor NESTA KNOWS ABOUT MOR!!!

“I am worthless and I am nothing. I hate what I am.” DAYUM I’ve been in that exact mindset numerous times. I can relate, Nesta

Briallen? Who the fuck is that?

Scars being trapped in magic? Good fuck that’s dark

“Ooh a dark skin character? Lit

OH SHIT SHE CANT FLY HER WINGS ARE CLIPPED

Is her name Emery?

“I am the monster your fear” BBY OMG GET THERAPY

Gwyn? Seems a bit aloof

“Two gentle conversations” GOOD JOB

Fairy lights omg lol

Nesta reading smutty books.....I’m imagining this omg

THE HOUSE IS ALIVE? Sweet

OMG ELAIN SHIT!!!! BBY

“All she wanted to do was touch him” OOOOOHHHHH NESSIAN

“All I need is a hot meal and a good book.” Mood

Nesta’s worried about Mor??? REEEEEEE

“Nesta needed Feyre more than she realized.“ OOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOO FAE BARGANS

They’re bound by magic on the body?? Ooh

IT’S TRAINING TIME BITCHES

“I don’t hate you too,Cassian” OMGGGGGG REEEEE

Nesta SMILED

THEY MENTIONED VALKYRIES!!!!!

“You might be my only friend.” HMMMMMMM

*hears how cassian was born * OMG HOLY SHIT CASSIAN

*hears cassians backstory* DAMN THESE CHARACTERS NEED THERAPY

OOP SLIGHT DEPRESSION SEX

OOP CLOTHING REMOVAL

“I’ve loved you since the first moment I held you in my arms.” HMMMMMMMM

I’m loving this Nessian sparring training.

ELAIN! SHES IN THE STORY KIND OF

Elain has small boobs........same

“I thought I would drop by to see how you were doing.” AWWWWWWWWW

Yayy.....awkward sister talks........

“She was the monster.” Nesta.............I can relate.

Nesta’s angry at Elain.............

Elain’s trying to reach out and Nesta’s denying it.

MY HEART

AGAIN...THE👏RA👏PY👏

“No more seeing her sisters without her permisson.” That’s smart.

Soooooooooo......Rhys is now a German Shepard.........?

OMG CASSIAN KILLED EVERYONE THAT HELPED KILL HIS MOM........good for him

“Use that training and make me.” OOOOOOOMGGGGGG

Rhys is overprotective of Feyre and shields her......daaaaaaaaaaaaamn

“What exactly happened in the cauldron?” FEYRE BAD IDEA BAD IDEA BAD IDEA

Again, Nesta, ✨THERAPY✨

Put a stop to what, D-does the IC know of the ✨depression smut?✨

“There was touching, but with her permission” WE 👏STAN 👏A KING👏

THAT ASKS👏FOR👏CON👏SENT👏

“Who do you think I am?” “A drunk fool who’s wasting my time?” OOOOOOOHHHHH SHOOTS FIRED!!!

Emery and Nesta to Emery’s cousin: GO HOME YOUR DRUNK ASSHOLE

*hears Nesta’s grand✨mama✨* me: grandmama, it’s me....ANASTASIA

Bruh...NESTA BIT CASS’S EAR

ugh the tool

“Baby making” hehe lol

“Nesta like gwyn”...............could she also be biiiiiiiii??????????!!!!!! YAY FIRST FRIEND IM PROUD OF YOUUUUU

NESTA SMILES AGAIN YAY!!

Alright, Meryl is BITCH

GWYN’S A QUARTER NYMPH?? Cool

“She’s failed everything.” BBY

HER POWERS? HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT SILVER FLAMES

ICY FIRE??? FUUUUUUUUUCK

Nesta must’ve been petrified being surrounded by fire

It’s a dream? THE FUCK

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT SHE WAS DREAMING????

Cassian saw HER TRAUMA?????? FUUUUUUCK

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HER POWER IS DEAAAAATHH FUUUUUUCK

THE BABY HAS WIIIIINGS!!!!!!

Why is Rhys angry about the wing thing?

Ohhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiit the tool

*hearing the possibilities of half Illyrian baby* OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH FUUUUUCK OMG

“I loved it when you fucked my mouth cassian?” GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH NEEESTAAAAA THIS ISNT HEALTHY

“What could go wrong?” DONT JINX IT

fairy monsters? OHOHOHOOOO

NONONONOOOOOO NOT AN ASH ARROW

BLACK EYES???? Fuck fuck are they in the cauldron?

OMG THE KELPIE IS DOING SHIT TO NESTA!!! Are they on the cauldron?

the MAAAAAAASK

ohOOOOOOOMGOMGOMGOMG SHE SUMMONED THE FUCKING DEAD REEEEEEEEEEE

Omg NESTAS POWERS ARE SO FUCKING COOL

She LITERALLY HAS AN UNDEAD ARMYYYYY

death HERself........badass

“Because you and cassian has been giving each other sultry looks all morning” SHE KNOWS

“For the first time in her life, she finally felt good in her own skin.” GROWTH

Omg Nesta created a swooooord!!!!! Cool

ITS INFUSED WITH MAGIC??? HELL YEAH

“I can’t lie to her!” SIIIIIIIMP

“I’d be careful when fucking her.” Oh amren

FUUUUUUCK FUCK BOOOOOOOOO TAMLIN

“You will not touch us.” YES TELL HIM

“I can’t believe Feyre ever loved tamlin.” ME TOO

“Elain saw everything Nesta did.” Daaaaaaaaamn

OOOOOOOO NESTAS PIIIIIIIISSED

OOOOOOOOOOO SECRETS FEYRE’S PIIIIIIISED

Nesta messed up and I think she realizes that

Rhys is pissed now and wants to kill Nesta....SHIIIIIIIT

Nesta: heads for a tavern me: NONONONONO GODS DAMN IT YOU’VE COME SO FAR

“I will fight for him. For us. Until I can’t anymore.” FEYRE IS GONNA BE A GREAT MOM

“Wishing to disappear into nothing.” I’ve been there.

“Cassian knew Nesta hated herself, but didn’t know how sometimes she wanted to unexist.” I RELATE TO THAT SHIT

“She had been born wrong.” AWWWWW BBY SHIIIIIT

“Was she worth being counted?” I CAN RELATE

*hearing Nesta blaming herself for her fathers death and for the horrible things she’s done, saying she can’t fix it* SHIT IM CRYING (I’m not joking)

“ I deserve nothing.” I CAN RELATE BITCH IM ACTUALLY CRYING

*hears Cassian calmly reassuring and comforting her* AWWWWW I NEED THIS QUOTE

CASSIAN CARES SO MUCH FOR HER I LOVE THIS

(I really needed that cassian talk. I literally wrote most of the quote down just in case. Thank you SJM)

EMERY CAN SENSE THE SEX HOLY SHIT

“After he’d fucked her with her fingers...” O NONONONOOO

*skips to chapter 52*

Lanthis??? Who the fuck is that?

“Gwyn and Emery are my friends” SHES GROWN SO MUCH!!!

26 dimensions? OH THIS IS SOME DOCTOR STRANGE SHIT

IT CANT BE KILLED

cassian and Nesta really went *yeet* .......... I’m sorry

THE SWORDS NAME IS ADORAXIA!!!!!!!!!!!sounds like a dnd character IDEAS

OHOHOHOOOOO BLACK THRONE AND A CROWN DEATH QUEEN NESTA WITH HER HAIR DOOOOOOWN

Rhys vs Cassian standoff *western duel music starts*

NESTA APOLOGIZED FOR EARLIER IM SO PROUD

Did Elain have a vision? DID SHE???

“I want you to seduce him.” NESTA THE HIDDEN BARD ROLL FOR PERSUASION

Mor teaching Nesta the waltz? NESTA AND MOR CAN NOT HATE EACH OTHER

Are they back at their childhood home? Because oooooooooooof ✨ childhood trauma✨

MOR AND NESTA HAVING A CONVERSATION YAY!!!!! (This’ll make rping them so maybe easier)

“We’re in a book!” Holy shit they know. HIDE THE FANFICTION

The relationship between Nesta, Emery, and Gwyn is so wholesome

“Oh FUCK you” .... NESTA

“I was just checking on dessert” MOOD

MOR AND NESTA ARE HAVING A FRIENDLY CONVERSATION

I sense tension between amren and Nesta

ERIS WANTS NESTA????

“I’m not with you.” Lier

A SNOWBALL FIGHT WITH THE BATBOIS??? Holy shit they do have one(1) brain cell

A sleepover with Emery, Nesta, and Gwyn? SIGN ME UP

“Do it for the miniature Pegasus!” INSIDE JOKES

OOOOHHH i see the gwynriel ship

Wait....HER POWERS MADE THE HOUSE BE ALIVE??? Sweet

Alright 2 months til FEYSAND baby

The mating bond between cassian and Nesta?????.............

“Say it, SAY IT” GODS DAMN IT NESTA SAY THE FUCKING THING

So, Nesta’s afraid she’s gonna loose her humanity?

EMERIE NESTA AND GWYN ARE IN THE BLOODRITE? Fuuuuuuuuuck

OH NO EMERIE!!!!!!

“High Fae bitch” PUT THAT ON A SHIRT

OMG OMG OMG HELL YES VALKRIES

oh Cassian you restless bastard you

*hears Emerie’s backstory and their heart to heart* AWWWWWW I LOVE THEM

“The morrigan.” The fuck Eris?

“She’d hit the archway of stone” OOOOOOOOOOF

“For being my friends when I didn’t deserve it.” AWWWWWWWWWW

What about Feyre’s pregnancy???? Hewwo?

“Lord of bastards” heh true that’s cassian alright

Wait, OTHER set of wings

CASSIAN!!!!!!!!!!

“Now, I’m going to slit your little throat.” FUUUUUUUUCK NONONONOOOOO THIS ISNT CASS FUUUUCK

What’s the trove?

NONONONONOOOO WHYD HE GET STABBED SHIT HE GOT STABBED

Nesta’s pissed.....MAGIC TIME

wait wait wait wait wait HES NOT STABBED HELL YEAH!!!!

“You are my mate, Cassian.” ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME

Nessian: kissing when the world is in ruin

“She started bleeding hours ago. “ BABY TIME???

*hears the blood and feyre’s appearance*!FUUUUUUUUUCK

So, no C section? OOOOOOH SHIT THEYRE DOING IT

IM SCARED IM SCARED IM SCARED

“Silent babe?” Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Nesta Nesta Nesta What the fuck are you doing???????? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

SHE HAS ALL 3! ONONONOOOOOFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOSHE PLUCKED IT FUCK

SHE STOPPED TIME?????????

WHOS the female voice?

“ I love you, Feyre” SHE DID IT IM SO PROUD!!!!!

What is she doing what is she doing what is she doiiiiingggg?

GIVE WHAT BACK?????

WHAAAAAT? A BARGAIN WITH THE FUCKING CAULDRON???

feyres alive? FEYRE’S ALIVE!!!!!!!

NESTA THE MVP!!!!

*the sister hug* AWWWWWWWWWWW

AWWWWWW I LOVE THE NAME NYX!!!!

How much did the Cauldron take from Nesta, tho?

FEYSAND IS BEST PARENTS

Alright, I want to see LOADS OF WHOLESOME FANFICS AND FANART ABOUT DOMESTIC IC AND ELAIN AND NESTA GOT IT?

[softboyscully]

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is  john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability 

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating. 

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”  

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

[barryjeanblues]

taako meets death (again)

(also posted to my ao3)

taako has met two raven queens in his life before now.

well, close enough, at least. most - though not all - of the worlds the starblaster had traveled to had gods, and surprisingly enough, those gods were usually - though not always - strikingly similar to their homeworlds gods. (this was useful, because one of the crews number relied very heavily on a certain nature god for his magic. luckily, the nature or life god of each world always seemed to have a soft spot for little old merle, even if they werent merles traditional cloven-hoofed pan.)

twice, taako had met the death god - someone equivalent to faeruns raven queen. 

this had led to taakos understandable trepidation upon kravitz finally putting his foot down and insisting taako meet his mother boss. 

the first time taako had met a raven queen, she had been… overwhelming. the light of creation had fallen into a forest dedicated to her and her followers, and the head acolyte refused to give the wandering crew the light unless they first received permission from the queen.

the crew had agreed, with no other option, bracing themselves to firmly explain the direness of the situation. surely a goddess would be intelligent enough to understand. 

that raven queen had burst into a forest cleaning in an explosion of black feathers, half illusion, half steel, so that when lup brushed the smoky feathers from her eyes they blurred and dissipated, but when magnus tried the same thing he yelped and brought his hand back bleeding. 

that raven queens laughter had been eerie and echoing, almost but not quite mocking, almost but not quite infectious, almost but not quite joyous. the crew had stood firm and offered their argument, and the queen had given them tests and tokens and bargains and tricky promises with too many clauses and loopholes and at the end of it all the ipres numbers had been halved and the rest were weary and worn as they caught the light of creation and fled with only minutes to spare, the faelike laughter of death following them terribly even through the overwhelming cacophony of the hungers assault. 

that laughter had trailed after them longer, if only in their heads. taako would be making stir fry, planning outfits, swapping merles shampoo for hair-loss potions, when hed have to sit down suddenly and breathe through the musical trills of the raven queens cruel pleasure. it had seemed to bounce in his head the way a rubber ball might, ricocheting off thoughts and feelings until it rolled under a couch to be forgotten about, till some slight movement sent it rolling and bouncing about once more. 

davenport had died in an illusion, thinking he was saving his crew. poor merle had been choked by his own plants, betrayal writ across hos face. barrys skin had grown sickly purple with poison - ten to one odds arent very good odds. taako doesnt forget easily. he decides the goddess of death can go fuck herself. 

the second raven queen taako had met much later in their journey, and taako had met her alone. 

lup and barry had become liches a few cycles back. it was something taako had still been coming to terms with. 

taako loves lup. this is an immutable fact of any and every universe. taako loves lup and lup loves taako and not death or memory or space can separate them, not for long. but seeing your sister die, and then… go beyond death, to twist herself and latch on to a chance that she may never return except in madness and spite - thats a hard thing to grasp, even when she succeeds. taako had still found himself shivering when his sister forgot she had a body again and grabbed a hot pan off the stove, crying out in pain. taako still woke sweating from nightmares in which his sister and his friend flew apart and reformed as cackling red robed horrors of insanity and cruelty, too far for him to reach. 

until that cycle, though, barry and lups choice had only been an asset. 

but some raven queens do not take kindly to anything they see as a perversion of their domain. 

barely a week into that cycle, taako had awoken from the guilty non-elven pleasure of a nap only to find himself in some cold, hard court, fashioned seemingly of steel and silver and concrete, onyx lining the floor and the only color coming from sparse sapphires sparkled throughout the long echoing hall. 

at the end of it - and taako had known his eyes must have played tricks on him, because at first the being at the end of the hall seemed, while large, not much larger than a giant, but when hed called a nervous greeting his voice had echoed so awfully he knew the hall stretched much farther than hed thought and the goddess at the end of it must have been unimaginably huge. 

her eyes had glinted a flinty sapphire in her carven steel face when she ordered him to defend the existence of his sister and his sisters lover. 

taako had tried. he truly, truly had. but while taako is a being of preservation and caution, full of intelligence and cleverness, he is not one of cold hard logic. perhaps lucretia could have convinced this raven queen, the only of their number who had ever been able to grasp true hard reason… but taako doubts it. he had doubted it then and he doubts it even more these days. 

the point is, taako, for all his love for his family and his brilliant wit and devotion (probably, in fact, because of it) taakos arguments couldnt convince that raven queen. she saw past his genuine belief that lup and barry had made a good decision, and into his fears for her, and the goddess of death had based her own argument on those. she won. taako never had a chance. 

he, lup, and barry had woken up in the next cycle, newly resurrected. taako never stops feeling guilty about it. 

so. yes. 

taako is more than a little nervous about meeting the goddess his boyfriend serves so devotedly. but, and youd be hard pressed to convince him to admit it, taako would do anything for kravitz. and despite it all he does actually want to see what the deal is with his sister and his best friends boss, and his patron gods… friend? lover? girlfriend? taako isnt quite sure what fate and death are to each other, but its definitely something.

kravitz lays a warm hand on taakos shoulder, but taako squares them up. he can do this, for fucks sake - hes died a shitton of times, he can meet death. 

the doors open and taakos breath - the only breath in this realm of the dead - catches in his throat.

taako is a die hard istus fan, and shell always be his goddess. but if taako wasnt a taken elf, hed follow the raven queen, he realizes with a startle.

shes beautiful, yes. shes gorgeous, and taakos always been weak for beauty, but hers isnt the cold hard beauty of gemstones and gold, thinks his nimble fingers snatch up and hoard in his endless pockets. the raven queen is beautiful in a way that taako cant describe as anything other than simple.

he cant pin down any features. she has a kind face, gentle hands, bright eyes, but taako can tell she is a goddess because despite staying still the image of her flicks and shifts in his head. at once she seems to have every kind face hes ever seen, even if he doesnt recognize anyone. her hands reach out to comfort him - no more than comfort - but she stands without moving in front of taako and kravitz. her eyes glitter and sparkle and crinkle up with cheerful laughter, except taako isnt entirely sure she has eyes at all, or maybe she has too many. 

he thinks… he thinks maybe she has wings, or maybe theyre arms, or maybe theyre black fabric, draped around and behind and below and above her, shifting with the last breaths of every mortal in the universe. its darkness but its not scary, taako realizes, its solacing, healing, the way that he feels when dusk passes to night and the sky is huge and warm and the brush of lups hand against his as she says goodbye for the night is a relief and a love. 

hello, taako, death says. its lovely to meet you. 

she means it, taako knows. he can tell, somehow. shes just happy to meet him. nothing more, nothing less. 

'oh,' taako says aloud, and kravitz laughs his quiet sweet dorky laugh, and the raven queen laughs too, and its just that. its just a laugh, and its a nice one.

'oh indeed,' kravitz says. 'taako, did you really think id serve a monster or a cruel master?'

'well,' taako replies hesitantly, 'honestly, homie, i kind of thought you were, and id, like, have to start some quest to slay death itself and rescue you.'

the anthropomorphic personification of death laughs again, a note of delight in her tender voice. i like him, my kravitz, she says, good job.

kravitz does the dead-reaper equivalent of blushing. taako grins a little because its very cute. 

'death is different here,' taako hums. 'its… it wasnt like this anywhere else i went. it was cold, or cruel, or empty. i dunno why its different in your world.'

'then i guess we're the lucky ones, huh?' kravitz asks. taako leans up against him and murmurs an agreement. 'its why i love my job so much, why it means so much to me. its not that im some hardass, i just…'

'yea, cha'boy gets it now,' assures taako. 'still.' he looks at the ever-shifting, ever-stable face of death again. 'you better treat my boy kravitz and my lady istus well, capiche? or we will have issues.'

its a deal, taako, the raven queen says, smiling. 

when taako opens his eyes, hes in his home in the material plane, and kravitz is next to him, and theyre both smiling. 

[catsnraincoats-archive]

Another power that i also enjoy is necromancy or death related powers.

Necromancers are so fun! Their abilities are dark and yet the characters with these powers are usually some of the funniest fuckers alive (example: Klaus from TUA, Nico di Angelo from pjo).

Necromancers have a certain Aesthetic ^TM to them. Dark, mysterious, long baggy clothes. Grim reaper esque looking guys. Other than black and gray, green and violet are usually the colors associated with necromancers. On some occassion, red, silver, and gold (or brown) (possibly due to these colors having significance in the underworld).

Necromancy is the art of reanimation, which makes the characters that embody it quite literally a metaphor for rebirth. Theyve been close to death all their lives, whether it be their loved ones dying or just having the ability to commune with spirits as a kid (which fucks them up holy shit lmao). They are mostly apathetic, well, at least they seem so in the surface.

Necromancers are some of the most emotional characters in a power based media. Thats why their arcs are so compelling, you see them be human when their abilities are so connected to the undead. You see them grief, you see them laugh and cry, you see them lay waste to a town or get mad over the smallest of things. You see their pride, their agony, their sensations and feeling overwhelmed. They feel lonely and drift away from most of the party, unless theyre those life of the party guys. Those who understand the dead understand mind control more than anyone else, as they control others too (its an extension of their abilities, the nature of it, even.) They understand the importance of life, and coming back to it. They understand the bones, the skeletons that rattle and chant for blood, the spirits that howl and hunger for vengeance.

They are agents of Death, and yet keep on living to deny it.

They want to die, to disappear and become one of the voices.

yet the world keeps on running to keep them alive.

oh my gosh I'd never thought of it like this... its so true though?

The characters usually have a FUCK ton of trauma too like. Klaus, Nico, Oliver Banks, uhhh Other Death Related Characters

I feel like the necromancy archetype isn't as solid as some others, though, simply due to the fact that death is so unpredicatable.

Like... If a character has elemental powers its usually a pretty solid guess on their personality. But with necromancers we know what happens to them, (trauma, wishing to die but unable to, they have a particular kind of softness, have a cut between them and their humanity) but not exactly how they react to that. Similar to death itself. We know that everyone will eventually die. But we don't know how, and we don't know when. Its as much an answer as it is a question

[bepoets]

Review for Trish’s Dream Fic

Trish ( @couragedontdesertme  ) said she’d write an epilogue of the elsarik dream Fic if I made a Formal Review of the elsarik dream fic. So here we are.

Please note review should be taken VERY LIGHTLY this is more or less me re-reading the Fic and loudly yelling about things with too many exclamation points. Enjoy Trish.

Ch1

First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness

The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN

The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god

Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM

The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Ugh fuck hans

I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye

~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~

I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD

I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs

Ch2

I’m fucking S A D

ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED

P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY

ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE

ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD

THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.

LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS

“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD

“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER

The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD

the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there

U g h hans fuck that guy

A N N A !!!!!!!!

When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked

ALFAFA GERANIUM

ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea

AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough

I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget

“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”

Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him

“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”

ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL

Ch3

My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name

I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs 

Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM

Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good

Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know

JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N

Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him

The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god

“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT

the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT

DO ! THE ! MAGIC !

Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD

A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna

Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!

IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!

SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT

ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!

Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart

Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.

They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program

SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!

Ch4

*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????

Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT

They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY

ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit

“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days

ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go

THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius

I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED

listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!

I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT

He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy

Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE

And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE

“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck

LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

~end review~

Okay where is my epilogue please and thank you

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.