#thats totally the reason. yep .

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[methoughtsphantom]

halfas are the found family trope foster child

they all adopt each other. it’s the reason Vlad wanted so badly to have Danny as his son and the reason Danny immediately went with sure you’re my cousin now with Dani. it’s a survival mechanism from being so very few of their species. Sooo, halfa!Jason except he sorta isn’t yet cause Jason’s core is extremely ruptured from the lack of ectoplasm involved in his forceful resurrection. So when Danny finds Jason in his catatonic state he can’t quite tell the dude’s been dead and remains some, just that the guy for some reason seems very friend-shaped. Danny doesn’t mind his friend is braindead, and is also a john doe, he gives familiar vibes and that’s apparently enough for Danny to constantly find himself in the hospital doing his engineering homework on the room with the guy, and talking for hours about the updates on the absolute clusterfuck of the city and how he was from a freaking ghost town and he can almost even draw comparisons. he blabbers about how he’s not homesick enough times to even corner himself to talk about a ghost lore many times and how he’s just finding himself a little more prone to violence and in constant pain since none of the people he has adopted as his family are here with him and he can’t consider a place a lair if there’s isn’t someone of his in it.

But Danny could never drag someone with him just because of some it, after all it was Danny’s choice to come to Gotham to collage and not stay where at least his parents (good parents Jack and Maddie) were in Amity.

Ironically, Danny essentially can’t feel that his core has been spoon feeding ectoplasm to Jason. As months go on, the little ball of energy builds in anticipation practically vibrating in the waiting pulse of something (Danny doesn’t know but more often than not has he found himself laughing in happy confusion. it weirds him out in a good way) It’s really that he’s feeling the slow healing process of his friend (brother brother brother) ‘s core.Imagine it’s just about to properly, correctly heal when canon strikes back and Jason gets snatched by League assassins. Danny is left feeling like his core got torned out. His core had spend months helping another’s only to feel the other’s imprint and to not be able to protect it in return is— forget it being an obsession; thats like having your newborn baby being ripped out of your arms. An all assuaging feeling of helplessness that is devastating. Danny just beginning to feel like home lair when out of nowhere the rug is swept under him. Danny suddenly struggling to not flunk all his classes and beat every single liminal that he can feel crossing paths with him to the ground. Danny suddenly having his chronic pain (that hadn’t been so bad lately) dialed up to the point that there are just bearable and bad days.

The worse thing is he doesn’t know why.

Jason had only been a guy.

…

It’s only a three weeks before Jazz tells him she accepted a job offer in Gotham.

(and the guilt only makes him feel worse when he can feel himself feel better because of it)

…

now

whimsical time skip ✨

Danny is now on his feet again and friends with a Wayne of your choice (or maybe they were friends a little before Jay dissapeared and it was badTM cause Waynes? liminal 🥲) Danny definitely didn’t enjoy snapping off to his friend like that. anyways it’s been a year since that and he and his friend are having a grand time playing civvies, uhh let’s say dick because I want them to meet while ice skating, Also Dick because he definitely turns a blind eye when Danny goes airborne for a second there yep. He’s just having too much fun.

anyways as alwaysTM Danny doesn’t clock celebrities and like why would he, Dick is just the random guy who’s was fast to turn Danny’s slow day in the ice ring into a competition one day and brighten when Danny matched up his puns. So he totally doesn’t get why the guy’s so gloomy one day, anyways as you can figure, it’s Jason’s deathday and Dick is a deprecating bean, Danny tries to cheer him up by having him remember his brother instead and Dick attempts to, but even skipping through some photos in his phone make his eyes burn.

It is because of that that he doesn’t notice Danny absolutely freeze up at the photo of his friend Jay (Jay because he’s a John Doe, but that’s just too impersonal and so the first letter is J *wink wink*)

Danny absolutely doesn’t know what to do with this information, barely catches himself from asking Dick how did his brother die. Most importantly when because Danny just saw Jay—Jason less than a year ago, and this somehow doesn’t feel too recent.

Annd that how we find Danny digging into the Wayne second son tragedy. Staring at the date of death while the knowledge that they met almost six months after burns his forefront of his mind. Danny spends a day going over all the questions running through his mind over how the fuck he couldn’t sense Jay was a ghost—err was… in past tense?? what the fuck?? Danny would really like a refund on his ghost sense.

Anyways Danny goes check out the grave (now that he knows there is one) and boom although intangible he somehow triggers those shitty ass sensors/alarms that somehow didn’t go off when jason was literally digging himself out.

Obviously the bats get in the case immediately. And boy are they absolutely enraged that someone would steal Jason’s body.

[punkitt-is-here]

Read These Frequently Asked Questions Before You Send An Ask!

Patreon | Ko-Fi | Youtube

IF YOU ARE A FUNDRAISER PLEASE BE AWARE I AM ALREADY HELPING WITH CAMPAIGNS AND CANNOT REASONABLY HANDLE ANY MORE. PLEASE DO NOT EXPECT A RESPONSE. MY APOLOGIES!

Heyo! I get a TON of asks each day, so I'm making this post so that folks know what's already been asked so my followers don't have to see the same stuff over and over, haha.

Hi! I'm Punkitt! I'm a game developer, artist, editor, director, and a bunch of other stuff! I'm working on an RPG called Astral Guard, a platformer called Susan Taxpayer, and I have a couple more fun projects in my pocket like Happup and Super Mario Death Row.

Did you know you look like weird al?

YES jesus fucking christ i get told this every day. if u send me a message in my inbox saying i look like weird al im killing you with like wizard spells and shit.

Why do you have so many hats? Do you know you have that many hats?

ye i like hats. :) free tumblr badges for one pea i like one piece and took as many as i could. free.

Where can I find your art/game development/horsecomix?

Great question! Everything I make that's my own and not a reblog is under "my posts", every bit of art I do is under "my art", any game development I do is under "gamedev", you can find all my MLP art under "mlp, my art" or "horsecomix" for the best stuff. I also have an "animations" tag and a "shitposts" tab. I also properly tag all my asks to be asks and write out the asker's name, so if you don't wanna see those just mute the ask tag.

Do you have a Patreon or a Ko-Fi?

I do have a ko-fi here! I also JUST launched a Patreon, which you can find here :)

What do you use for your art?

I use FireAlpaca and Paint.net for misc. effects!

What are you using to make your games?

I use FireAlpaca do make my assets! Astral Guard, Happup, and any other top-down RPG games I make are all made in RPGMaker 2003. Susan Taxpayer is made in SMBX2 Beta 4, a Mario fangame engine with lua support!

Why are you using a 2-decade-plus engine to make games?

It's fun!

Do you have a sideblog or something for your art?

Not right now! What you see is what you get. I do have a sideblog for Astral Guard though, if you want to follow that game specifically! @astral-guard

Can I make an OC based on your work?

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!! THATS THE COOLEST THING EVER!!!! LET ME KNOW IF YOU DO!!!! I WANNA SEE!!!!

Can I do dubs/redraws of your comics?

As long as you credit me! I get a ton of notifs each day, so if you wanna show me (and PLEASE i so do wanna see fun dubs and redraws!!!) tag me or DM me!

Are you the one who trapped her coworkers in a room and made them listen to TF2 lore?

Can I use your art as a PFP?

Sure! Just credit me somewhere. :D

Yep! Everyone had a blast actually. :]

Did you make that comic where Fluttershy eats the weed brownie/Rainbow Dash has a male living space/someone has a cutie mark that says they'll kill Ronald Reagan?

Yep! That's me.

Where are you in MLP right now?

Currently just finished Season 7! Haven't watched the movie yet.

Have you watched Equestria Girls?

Yep! Thought it was super cute. I watched up to Rainbow Rocks and plan on watching more.

What's your opinion on MLP so far?

I love it! I think it's cute. I really don't agree that there was some sort of huge quality drop after season 2 or whatever.

What do you think of G5?

Not my style! I don't really like either animation types and it just seems like I'm not in the audience anymore. That's totally chill, but it just doesn't grab me!

Have you watched any other MLP stuff from previous generations?

Nope! But I did see a compilation called Minty Being Autistic for Six Minutes Straight that I loved. she's perfect.

Favorite pony?

Don't got one, I love all the Mane Six a LOT, but I'm particularly fond of Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity!

Favorite episode/season?

I'm so bad at picking favorites! But any season past Season 1 I have a blast with because I feel like it's just more my style. I don't have a favorite episode, but the most recent one I can remember LOVING is the one where Starlight bottles up her emotions because it was REALLY funny.

Do you like Pony.mov?

Nope! And stop saying my stuff reminds you of it, it's a lil annoying!

Have you watched the Mentally Advanced Series/Friendship is Witchcraft/Other fandom vids?

Probably not! My interaction with the MLP fandom prior to last year was pretty minimal, so I'm making my way through the show first!

What do you think of Fallout: Equestria?

I think it's super weird but really fun because of that. I've never properly read any of it but it's very fascinating to me.

Are you transgender?

Yep! I go by she/her, I'm a trans woman. Have been for many years, but I only recently came out online!

Are you a lesbian?

Nah, I'm bisexual!

Can I commission you?

Yeah! I only have my commissions available on my Ko-Fi at certain times though, so keep an eye out! I usually announce slots being open at least 12 hours beforehand. Slots are usually first come first serve, but we'll see.

Can I use your art as a Discord emote?

Yeah man i'm not scouring every discord on the planet to find stickers of my work. i think it owns if people take my stuff and make it stupid injoke emotes between friends that makes me very happy.

Can I send you an ask inquiring about gender dysphoria?

I feel like this is beyond my capabilities of advice! I'm actually very comfortable with my body and I have been for many years, so I don't know if I can give any good or helpful advice on that front. Apologies, but there are many resources out there where you can ask about those things if you look for them, like Discord channels!

Favorite Color?

I'm a sucker for blue!

Favorite coffee?

Can't drink coffee, my stomach is cringe.

Favorite tea?

I'm lame and can't drink most tea but I love this one orange-flavored tea a lot. I also LOVE ice tea.

Can I say you're horsegender/punkittgender/a little gender goblin void thing?

Well, I can't stop you, but I'm kind of beyond that phase now! I really am a boring ol' plain she/her girl, and I like it that way. It's not much, but it's honest gender.

What's your favorite game series?

Mother, Kingdom Hearts, Mario, and I USED to say Fallout, but I found out I'm really only a big Fallout New Vegas fan.

Favorite game from those?

Mother 3 is one of my fave games of all time! I love KHII, and I'm tied for SMB3 and SMW. Also Fallout New Vegas fucks hard.

Any other favs?

Bug Fables, SLARPG, and TF2!

Favorite Movie?

Everything Everywhere All At Once, no question.

Oh, are you going to college?

Yep! I'm a film/theater major.

Do you have a YouTube channel?

Yeah! Click right here for it, I stream there and upload footage of my games/animations/my film projects + other stuff.

What is that little orange creature I see?

That's bweenop, my little persona that I use when I'm feeling a little scrunkly.

Do you have a ponysona?

Yep! Her name is Star Magnolia, you can search her on the blog to see art of her.

When will Susan Taxpayer/Astral Guard/etc. be out?

No clue! I take things slow, that's just how I am.

How do you work on so many things at once?

I make small, satisfying amounts of progress! I never try to complete one giant thing all at once, I just like doing small bursts of fun stuff. I got ADHD, so I learn to work with it.

Did you know you look like Weird Al?

Im going to run you over with a clown car watch out

WHY do you work on so many things at once?

Fun! I like learning, I like making cool stuff, and I like showing it to people :)

Do you need any help with your projects?

Potentially! I'll probably put out a post asking for help if I need it.

If you could be a horse, would you?

You kidding me? Several ton beasts with the frailty of a sickly Victorian boy; my clumsy ass would never survive.

Are you some sort of...furry?

yeag

Why do you reblog so much?

Brother I LOVE posting. that's just how it is.

Fav music artists?

It changes literally ALL the time but I will recommend ANYTHING by Vylet Pony, its music is incredible and probably the reason I'm a weird niche microcelebrity now.

Why are you like this?

theater kid + having a lot of fun on the internet makes you a bit silly hehe hoo

SUSAN TAXPAYER QUESTIONS

Is it out?

Not yet! But hopefully sometime in the next year. I dunno! I take things at my own pace and keep stuff fun. :)

What are you using to make it?

SMBX2! It's a free fangame engine for Mario episodes, but it's incredibly versatile and has a wonderful community, so I decided to make Susan Taxpayer in it.

Is there a demo?

You betcha! You can find it right here. I'll also probably put it up on my itch.io.

How do I install it?

I made a post here about how to run the SAGE '23 demo!

[saturnhas82moons]

Vi would be so 100% flattered to see you wearing her jacket (both season 1 and 2). Would lead to fun times if you know what I mean 😉

OR

Vi would also be totally flattering to see you in a replica of her jacket (again both seasons) that you made but very you. like your patches your pins your spikes but Vi can tell it’s inspired by hers

🥊🥊Lil scenario 🥊🥊

Vi: is that my jacket??

Reader wearing the finished jacket: No?

Vi: it looks like mine

Reader: yep, there’s a reason for it too 😉. I made it to look like yours. Thats why I asked to borrow it for a bit. I needed the pattern.

Vi flustered and slightly blushing: Oh

Would be SOOOOO FLATTERED. Would kiss you so much too, and maybe more ;)

[ganondoodle]

you know, i had a totk thought (uh oh)

soemthign thats really bothering me about the whole "actually, ganondorf didnt like the guy appearing out of nowhere marrying a hylian and just saying yep das our kingdom now and we can mine it barren under your nose and also i got laserbeam pebbles that i totally wont ever use on anyone come join me or die just bc of all of that but mainly bc the guy brought some weird tech with him that he dont like" - thing is that ......... we see almost not a single tech thing in the past (and for that matter see nothing of the oh so perfect and peaceful paradise hyrule was before big evil desert man didnt want to join our paradise- like what is the point about making the whole point of the game be -we need to restore hyrule to this paradise it once was- when you dont even see it or get to care about anything of it)

it might sound like a weird hangup but no really, the most we see is like two servant constructs, thats it, when they 'prepare for war' im pretty sure all you see is some lightly dressed ( ... is it just me or does their whole get up look alot like native american/other indingenous people too ... i still dont know how to feel about that- kinda adjacent to some of the sonau armor, the battery one i think??, also having that look...) hylians with spears, where the heck is all that tech?? is it implied to be all down in the mines hollowing out the underground (for no real reason either bc .... theres only two sonau left and no one else seems to want use nor need the tech otherwise there should have been more traces or soemthing left of it -unless it all just magically appeared out of nowhere in mostly prime condition while all shiekah tech jsut vaporized for bs non reasons just for it to be in tha game but oh dont you see its always been there lmao- so whats the point really????)

or up in the sky as most battle constructs are and they cant get them down in time bc *gestures vaguely*

or is it intentionally kept out of view bc idk seeing an army of robots on raurus side he can send out on a whim might not make him look as oh so good and perfect as they want him to look when he already got laserbeam pebbles (most of which hes been hoarding until ONE falls into hands not under his control) ?? like it just ... feels weird?? so many battle constructs that can even be a threat to link are jsut fully functioning strolling around in the present still, why wouldnt you want to use any of them to battle gan and if they DID why wouldnt you show that (no the 3 second unicorn cutscene doesnt count bc its just .. gan and his monsters isnt it) ?? (also ... why isnt there a big like battle ground , like fine you dont have to animate an army of monsters and robots clashing but... wouldnt it be cool to have you discover a giant flat plain in the underground (that magically got put under ground like gan just decided to stroll down there to get sealed lol) and its the only mostly empty field in the game littered with thousands of monster bones and dead constructs intermingled?? just to give it all a bit of weight?? evidence that it happened?? cool ass discovery????)

(also also i cannot let go of ganondorf apparently being sooooo anti tech but then clamgan uses the shiekah stuff??? shouldnt he also be against that then or is that suddendly fine bc- oh woops sorry, forgot clamgan is actually just something, not connected to gan at all actually, i mean why else would miasma turn into malice only to turn into miasma again haha none of that is connected actually what is a calamity anyway? also im sorry to bring this up again but i just cannot let go of the ppl in the present being so obsessed with using sonau tech in every part of their life now- they just lived through an apocalypse of a barely understood strange tech but CLEARLY this other even less understood strang tech is not dangerous at all lets make CARS OUT OF IT and what theres no danger in miasma and that tech existing at the same time LIKE SOMETHING ELSE BEFORE THAT IDK SEEMS LIKE A BAD COMBO--- oh sorry forgot that ceased to exist in both the world and peoples minds for *gestures vaguely* plot reasons- why why why are monsters mining the sonanium?? they dont even work with the yiga no that is also completely disconnected we dont wanna draw and interesting connections after all- whats the point if it means nothing but to be a loot box for the player-- actually, so much of totk is just a so built around throwing you into a box of toys with no substance to it- listen i know games are kinda like toys but if it doesnt make sense and offers you nothing interesting to think about even slightly whAT IS THE POINT)

[bitethedustfools]

Crossover Ideas pt 2

Danny Phantom X Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint X Honkai Star Rail

Where 3 unlikely God/Ancient/Aeon meets.

Fate is quite strange, quite like the beings that Kim Dokja had met. Still, despite all odds, they became friends. Or not. It is hard to describe their relationship.

Akivili just barged his way in for reasons unknown and treated him like a child despite Akivili being smaller than he was and he is pretty sure that he's older than Akivili anyway, with eternity and all.

Akivili refuted that he's definitely older and his warm golden eyes were filled with wisdom that's not fitting his age.

As for Danny, his were more curiousity in nature. He had intruded the train because he saw a train travelling in space and into different worldlines.

And he's definitely not a kid. Well, he used to and KDJ can see and felt various reasons why he is the same as they both.

Yep, totally a normal group here with 2 young adults and a teen and definitely not a trio whose age span is infinite

Nevertheless, it is nice to have companions once again.

Somehow, the two of them stayed in that train of his, travelling from worldline to another and KDJ had come to read another story.

A place where Akivili had came from and unknowingly, KDJ had stuck around that place for so long along with Danny to the point that his train had converted into the first Astral Express for the Nameless, guided by Akivili the Trailblaze, to be made a home and travel to everywhere.

Even if they are a common sight in the astral express, not many know their name nor see their true face, only recalling a a face blurred as though covered by a fog and that creepy looking kid that does not look like a person at all.

In fact, even Aeons themselves failed to distinguish their appearance nor did they ever recognized that they arent humans nor Aeons but something else similar (but powerful)

One day, the group slowly fell apart starting with the explosion of the first Astral Express.

Kim dokja was nowhere to be found.

---

xtra:

A system notification just popped out of nowhere and it read, "Constellation Demon King Of Salvation is looking at you" and you can feel the heavy gaze burdened on your soul for a few moments and then its gone. You dont understand whats going on and who this is.

All you knew is that the gaze pressured you terribly.

-

"The Oldest Dream is looking at you". Sunday and Adventurine flinched for the first time.

-

Someone saw Danny doing the most eldritch thing and ran to tell the others and they replied, "what kid? we dont have a kid here"

Danny being a menace and a prankster.

-

Akivili have favourite peoples and thats KDJ and Danny but those two are weird but theyre not going to comment on that.

-

Is KDj powerful than Aeons? Maybe. He did dreamt a world(s) and bring it to life. Certainly cunning. No doubt will disguise as Aeons if given the chance.

Danny? Pretty sure he got some hidden powerful abilities that he doesnt know exist and he rules the domain of the death/afterlife. Often got mistaken as "Terminus the Finality" (Or did they get that right..? just different Danny?)

-

Is Trailblaze something of an acheivement, marked in history to be remembered? Is it a burning will that is passed from one to another? A hope that burns brightly in the dark? The star guiding you to the right path?

What exactly is the Path of Trailblaze that Akivili thread upon?

-

Thats the idea for now.

How they meet basically (dont mind my train's design. I'm too lazy):

Headcanon that Akivili had an Empty Nest Syndrome, very fitting for Akivili (Eagle).

Akivili spotted a lost child in the distance and want to take him under his wings but ended up taking the train and invite more children. Not that KDJ is complaining, its been awhile afterall.

[anonymooseforever007]

This is Malcolm:

I think you might like Malcom. Why? ....Well:

Malcom is a funny guy. He has a bird called Sunshine! He use to work for the FBI, but now he consults with the NYPD on murder cases. He's very good at it! Look how much fun he has:

Wow so fun!

Malcolm also has friends! Wanna meet them? Here:

Such good friends (he can't make many)

Oh! Malcom also has a family! Wanna Meet them too:

Wait what's that? Why does Dr. Whitly cause problems? He looks so nice! And he's saved many people's lives. Dr. Whitly loves his family too, he would do anything for them and raised Malcolm with a loving hand! So why is he the reason Malcolm literally ties himself to his bed at night? *whisper whisper* OHHH THATS RIGHT!! We forgot to mention. Dr Whitly is a....

Bum Bum Bummmmmm!!!! Yep! He's a pretty bad guy! Killed 27 people! Brutally! And documented his "findings" too, Malcolm doesn't get his art skills from his mama! And guess who turned him in??......

That's right!! Baby (Ten year old) Malcolm!! Go Malcolm! Congrats on your first case! And Meeting Gil your future boss!!! That event is gonna emotionally stunt you forever! (That's why he can't make many friends)

Especially since his sneakily little papa wormed himself out of multiple death sentences and into a nice little mental institution, smack dab in the middle of New York City. Because like who wouldn't want a man who killed 27 people via surgical methods to consult on actual surgeries anymore? He may be a pycho, but he's got that PHd! He's also got phone privileges.....

Which is a terrible thing for Malcolm, but also a great one. After all, who better to help on a serial killer case, than another serial killer! It'll be like father son bonding time.....only the bonding really isn't helping anyone...

In conclusion:

All of Y'all should totally watch Prodigal Son on HBO (not free:() or the CW (Free!:)) and totally possibly hyperfixate on Malcolm like I sometimes do too because even though there's only like two seasons it's absolutely worth it! It's an interesting twist on the typical crime show with a lot of psychological innerturmoil drama. Ok thanks for coming to my ramble bye!!!!!❤️❤️❤️

[stgosupremacy]

TIME TO TALK ABOUT:

THIS BEAUTY OF A SCENE!!! 🥰😍 (+ that animation is chefs kiss)

i kid you not in the dub at the beginning right here there's this really sad piano music that goes on throughout and the way you have to restrain yourself from crying is ILLEGAL FROM ANIPOKE

"Ash?"

"You see, I said I wanted to travel, but can i really make it through this big world...all by myself?"

🥺💗

ok. THE WAY GOH SLOWLY LOOKS UP AT ASH ONCE HE'S SAID THAT OMGGGGGGGGG MY HEART????????

i cannot descirbe how cute i found this omg like i thought he was gonna ask him to travel with him bc he changed his mind.... but that wasn't the case sadly (but then again, i love my independent goh too) 🥰

"The only reason I've got this far is because you've been with me"

ngl but THE WAY I was biting my knuckle at this point 😭😭

(ok this is random but the way goh's hair was swaying in the wind was like 🥺💖👌)

"You see, I'm just not sure..y'know...me doing it.....alone." ( 🥺)

(🥺🥺🥺*deep breaths* ....gimmie a sec hold on...)

it's so crazy that this insecure goh is the kind of thing i would write in a fanfic and here is anipoke bringing him back intocanon like 😭💖 AND KUDOS TO GOH'S VOICE ACTOR AS ALWAYS BECAUSE HE SOUNDED SO BROKENNNNN this scene hits too hard </33

"What are you talking about?!"

the way ash sounds so mad about him thinking like that 😭💗💗💗

"You were chosen as a member of project mew right? You actually met mew!"

*🥺*

"Any problems, you can gimmie a call"

GODKNJGDKFGGFXKJCVM i needed this as a way they keep in touch THANK YOU ANIPOKE 😭🙏🏼🙏🏼 (and this was so sweet from ash what the hell)

"After all, don't forget (when he said this he sounded so insistent) we're

FRIENDS!" 🥰💖💖💖

.....no comment (yeah....im just too busy crying..thats all)

....are we not gonna talk about that slow gentle head tilt.

LIKE

HOW IS THIS JUST ACCEPTED AND MOVED ON FROM

well. i'm not because i think i would do a page ranting about it so for your sake.....lets regretfully MOVE ON 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

"Thanks Ash." HIS VOICE WHEN GOH SAYS IT GODDDD 🥺😭

LITERALLY BRIEF SKIP TO THIS VERY BEAUTFIL TOTALLY NOT GAY SCENE AT ALLLLL (bc tumblr wont tolerate much more snipping tool)

made sure to emphasise that too, yep yep anipoke very slick

"You can count on pokemon to be ...AWESOMEE!"

they are so damn gorgeous and in sync WE LOVE THEMMM AHHH

"This is the reason Goh."

"Huh?" (he sounded so cute ehheh)

"This is the reason I love going on journeys!"

gonna be honest im not typing it all out but they have this really cute conversation about why they love pokemon and their goals BECAUSE THEYRE JUST SO IN SYNCCC and thenn....

"Goh?" (THE WAY HE SAYS HIS NAME HERE. I GENUINELY LIKE SERIOUSLY CANNOT. i wish i had an audio file or smt smh)

"Yeah Ash?" (he's so happy now like🥰 i just love them)

the triumphant music is so real like take a look at these fist bros

"IM GOING ON A JOURNEYYY!!" 🥳🥳

the way ash softens and smiles is so cute

"YEAHHHHH!!!" 🥳🥳🥳💗

GOH'S SUPPORTIVE BOYYYYYYYY GOALS YESSSS WE GOTTA LOVE HIM!!!

(*pikachu laughing noises* have to be appreciated bc it's sounds so cute)

ok ngl i don't know if you can tell but this may be one of my fav scenes for them BECAUSE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS SO SWEETB AND WHOLESOMEEEE but i have to appreciate how you stuck around for so long so

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO THIS RANTTTTTTTTT <3

and ofc as always u are so welcome for it!!

🥳

[rinupi]

current hc i love to play with is that rindou and inui ended up dating and not marrying even after seeing each other for god knows how long, cuz rin is ok w marriage but he doesn't see the point after a while cuz he still gets to be with his uwu uwu babyboo 💙seishu💙 whether "official" or not anywayz. and inui doesn't really care for marriage in general, he just knows he loves rindou and thats it !!! similar reasons but with like sliiiiight differences maybe? ...or maybe they're the same lol ok whatever

they don't need to get married to confirm their feelings for each other!!!!!!!!!

(( rinupi seal of approval ))

totally not stealing this from one of the character stories from my original story project mhm yep

[hypogryffin]

genuinely curious by what you mean by "jewish (factual)" in your tier list. i can assume for a couple what you mean (sophia as an example) but i dont see how the others could be like jewish-coded! interested in hearing your thoughts

link to the first post for claritys sake, but this is the tier in question:

ok so for clarification: i made the tier list a little while ago and then scheduled it for later to keep uploads consistent, something i usually do all the time but am not for this discussion for now. this means that by the day the tier list posted, i was already a few weeks or so divorced from the actual creation of it, so some of my opinions have changed (as i said in the og post, i was unsure on a good portion of the characters even when i first queued the list), and some of my reasonings behind placements have been lost to time and my silly little goldfish memory.

bc of this, as of now as im trying to find a distinct line between "jewish (factual)" and "jewish (based on vibes)", the criteria for "factual" is sort of murky. some placements in the category were serious, but a lot of them were also entirely for joking reasons, and i had moved on as soon as i was done laughing to myself without coming back to it.

all this is to say, i have no idea how to summarise it, so im going to explain everything i can remember about my thought process at the time so you can see where i was coming from.

SOPHIA:

yup 👍.

ok so for the uninformed, sophia is the name of a gnostic figure and the specifics change depending on the context of which ur referring to her in, but in judaism specifically sophia was given as a translated name for chokmah which is like a being thats like really important in kabbalah and considered like. this sort of i guess personification of divine wisdom?

anyways this is a concept that i doubt im anywhere near the first person to bring up, so im not gonna spend a lot of time on it like i will the things i havent heard other people talk about. like the whole "good friend of humanity" thing! judaism puts a lot of emphasis on kindness and care for other people and i think its important that thats so big for her character and for how jewish she can be read as. she is also jewish because i like her :^).

TATSUYA:

suffers endlessly because g-d hates *him*, specifically, and he hates g-d right back. jewish.

that was a joke. ok so right out the gate i think the whole "fighting hitler" aspect of IS should count for something during the discussion of which characters are jewish. like just putting that out there. anyways tatsuya is jewish because of eternal punishment. specifically, you know how hes like super into "atonement" and repentance? bro would really have benefited from going to a high holidays service lemme tell you. and he does it in a specific way thats like. his atonement is actively trying to repair what hes fixed right like hes not doing what hes doing to be redeemed, hes doing it because its his responsibility to fix whats been broken. i just idk how to explain it properly but thats a thought process your rabbi talks you through in jew school yknow?

also theres this thing called tikkun olam, which literally translates as "repairing the world". so it means more like. doing ur best as a citizen to improve community and country, or general social work. but just considering it as taking the literal translation, then its just like... yep. that sure is what hes doing isnt it

also, killed hitler. hashtag work

KATSUYA:

placed here mostly because being tatsuyas brother, theyd probably be at a similar "level" of religiosity. however there are some unique things i want to point out here;

katsuya like embodies the idea of "tzedek tzedek tirdof" like. its unfortunate hes a cop but for a cop hes a pretty good person? hes pretty uncompromising on right and wrong, and in a way that totally lines up w tzedek tzedek tirdof as its described in the torah.

extra emphasis on his compassion, as in theres like that core facet of judaism, the tikkun olam, where people have a moral obligation to help others; not just do good as oneself, but also stop other people from doing bad. that last bit doesnt really matter, cuz im bringing it up so i can talk about katsuya as a police officer to clear his dads name and try and ensure a better future for his brother. he gave up his dreams for them.

i mean, when i say "giving up his dreams", im kinda laughing to myself bc theres no way he ran it past his parents bc if he looked his jewish mother in the eye and said "i want to be a pastry chef" he would not make it out of the room alive. hed go "my dream is to become a pâtissier" and his mom would immediately be like "no its not its to be an accountant" and that would be the end of the discussion

also, i think he would make some of the best fucking challah in the world. hed make matzo ball soup that could make you jizz your pants just looking at it. look me in the eyes and tell me that he doesnt actually go nuts at rosh hashana when he gets to make the round challah with the raisins in it and stuff or whatever else. there is such a crystal clear vision in my mind of him rocking this apron my dad used to have that says "real men make latkes". it was pink and ugly as sin and i think it would be katsuyas most prized possession.

LABRYS:

her name is fucking labrys obviously shes a jewish lesbian. next.

/j i will actually talk about this. like not mentioning the only survivor of her upbringing, which isnt a one to one considering the death match portion of her backstory but still close enough to feel um. relavant to jewish culture. she acts very...stereotypically jewish?

its not entirely the accent, but it is...part of it. so like i know its like a new jersey accent and that the stereotype is new york, i guess? but im not american and i dont rlly know the difference. they look close enough to each other on a map tho so i think it counts

but also shes like kinda confrontational in a way i specifically associate with jewish people or jewish characters? like not really bitchy but argumentative right, shes got this really sarcastic or mocking sense of humour. and girl kvetches with the best of them.

(also, side note: since i made the original list, i found out that the voice actress for aegis in p3 reload, dawn m bennett, is actually jewish! if i were to remake the tier list, aegis would be moved up from "vibes" to "factual" because of this. mentioning that here because of the sister thing :).)

JOKER:

kills g-d which is the jewish dream. this is a another joke.

someone in the replies of the tier list said something abt a possible reason being that he has an "abrahamic figure" as his ult. persona, which could be a good point if satanael was actually an abrahamic figure! but it is not. like ok im not a history guy but satanael is a name used in the 2nd book of enoch, which arguably could be part of jewish "canon" (i know this is actually the term for it but fandom has rotted my brain and it sounds terminally online to use it in terms of real life religiosity) but most rabbis agree it like is not, and theyre kind of who im listening to on this, and quick google search says even in christianity, enoch is debatable? idk

so like satanael isnt in the torah. and if anyone says "oh its just like another name for satan so technically--" shut up i know. satan isnt real in the torah either. ok like "satan" is used as a term, but not as like the specific dude that like rules hell. hes just like at most a specific dude who is not a devil/cast from heaven or whatever, but instead is a lawyer. more often its a concept, something representative of like the urge to go against g-ds will or a kosher life, this "evil inclination" which everyone is born possessing and grapples with when trying to be a good person. NOT THE SAME AS THE CHRISTIAN SATAN. WHICH IS WHAT P5 WAS GOING FOR. SATAN IN JUDAISM IS NOT A "super demon lord" or whatever they call it in the text of the game

satanael isnt an abrahamic figure and i dont think satan is either cuz its so different between religions and honestly i think calling things abrahamic religions, at least w the context i hear of it, is like kind of a misnomer or just kind of generally misleading cuz judaism christianity and islam are all so different and if were talking about this i think whoever invented the term judeochristian should eat a sheet of glass for it because whenever i hear those terms its very clear the person saying it means just christianity but theyre trying to be inclusive without actually putting the work in and thats not the point of this.

ok if im honest, as i think abt it joker isnt like. really... super jewish, in a way that you can point out? its just like... this overall vibe im having trouble explaining which is probably also like super influenced by how much i like him. i want to say that this strict sense of right and wrong that remains uninfluenced by the rest of society is something that clearly creates or maybe just intensifies this like. empathy for other people that reminds me of this concept in judaism which i cant remember the hebrew name of rn but i think its most commonly translated to english as "lovingkindness", one word? or that the whole idea of the phantom thieves can be contributed to tikkun olam. but, on the other hand, even if lovingkindness is what i personally consider one of jokers core character traits, the other one is pure, blinding rage.

im not going to go super into it, because im a few years rusty of torah study bc its only really consistently done in my community for kids preparing for bnai mitzvah cuz of how few people we have in our congregation. but from what i remember, my interpretation of the exact limit between righteous and sinful anger is a bit more... lax than the average jew's, or at least the average rabbi's, meaning mine, lol. either way anger is almost always seen as sinful because its an emotion that can like. turn you from g-d, its the same thing that invokes that "evil inclination" we just talked abt. so, joker textually feels this rage that arsene, his other self, literally refers to as "sacrilegious", something that very clearly states that he is willing to *knowingly* commit sins for this rage and is perfectly capable of causing undue harm to others for it, which is exactly the reason why judaism warns of anger. this means jokers anger is distinctly against jewish teachings.

again, im really lax, my familys reform (/lh) and i think there are some parts of this characterisation that make me feel this rage is overall constructive, especially considering that is what feeds his constant practice of lovingkindness and tikkun olam, but it being such a huge facet of his personality (made worse bc as a silent protagonist, you really have to search to get away from this trait) brings him down on the Jew Scale(tm).

in short, now that im really discussing this id probably move him to incredibly jewish based on vibes or even to just "jewish" no further classification. but even w the undying sinful anger thing i cant not think of him as jewish and i dont think its just bc hes one of my favourite characters of all time.

also that hair texture looking really familiar is all🤔🤔. all im saying that is in the tutorial, instead of "frizzy hair", morgana deffo should have been calling them blondie and jewfro /j /j /j

EDIT AND JOKERS KITCHEN!! JOKERS KITCHEN!! FOOD AS A LOVE LANGUAGE!! IN P5 YOU MAKE FOOD FOR YOUR FRIENDS AND YOU PUT LOVE INTO IT

MORGANA:

i know i put morgana before joker in the tier but i think in order to rlly discuss morgana we needed joker first bc part of my reason for putting them in the same tier is because they really are a pair, do not separate.

anyways, morgana does have a lot of the same problems as joker when it comes to being difficult to pin down. his inclination to tikkun olam is similar, sort of even greater than jokers depending on personal characterisation of joker, but instead of this discrepancy of his jewishness being anger, the ethical conundrum with morgana is sort of. arrogance? like, i have trouble figuring out how to really put into words how i feel abt morganas "lovingkindness", because it is so hard to understand where hes at in terms of empathy?? like. fucking. idk hes definitely a very caring person but its not exactly like

ok i cant figure out how to say it moving on. i used the word arrogance even though i dont really think thats right, because morgana has never seemed haughty. his "arrogance" is really just him making up for an inferiority complex caused by the amnesia thing, its not as if he genuinely totally believes himself to be above the others. but like no matter what it stems from, the way he behaves and his personal pride hurts people. ie the okumura arc, or his entire relationship w ryuuji. he speaks ill of others, belittles them to bring himself up, etc. arrogance and excess pride is as condemned as anger in judaism if not moreso, since its even less useful/constructive to be "arrogant" than it is to be angry. OH ok so what i meant with the hard to figure out his empathy thing is this actually!! hes very caring and has a really notable respect for human life but its always at war with his need to prove himself, so even if when you think about it its like Oh Morgana Is A Really Caring Person, which makes sense because he was created from human desire and as such is really in touch with what people need, the desperation he has to be seen as "worthy" comes off as wanting to be seen as "above", even if it means trying to get the people around him as being considered "below" him.

tldr so if it was just those two traits i think id have to move morgana lower on the list, alongside joker.

HOWEVER. speaking directly to the other jews in the crowd, but morgana is totally textually a golem, right? like not exactly, obviously, but think about it. morganas a being of the velvet room because he was created from "the dregs of human hope" (canonical line from yaldaboath that i think about more than what can be considered healthy tbh), whose job is was and always will be to protect and guide the trickster and his community, the phantom thieves. hes a golem right? am i insane? am i seeing things? i dont care, im not giving up on this interpretation, so morgana is factually and canonically jewish cuz of it.

ZEN:

i do not remember.

as of today id probably move him to either jewish no other classification or not jewish. my b guys. anyways

JUN:

life is indescribable torment, and then hes also got additional, mostly unrelated, mommy issues. judaism 101.

also his suspenders when he was a kid are the most young jewish lad shit in the history of ever like i have seen that exact outfit on a young boy every time i go to temple, and each time it is a different kid

ok more seriously, i really do think juns story-- specifically his relationship with memory-- can easily be extracted into a jewish narrative. like nyarlathotep messed with his memories and convinced him that the other members of the masked circle killed maya right. and so the way he fanatically reminded himself of the past was a mix of trauma and active manipulation. but if i think abt it a certain way i also can see it as like. ok so in judaism memory is really important and like a lot of the time during for example passover, youre meant to refer to yourself as being a jew in egypt, saying "we" instead of "them" and such. but im specifically meaning how important memory/remembrance is in grieving. jun in his grief for mayas perceived death "kept her alive" in a way. she was never forgotten, and so she never died. even though the entire masked circle forgot, from trauma or fear or guilt or whatever, jun held on, remembering her, and so she survived. joker took peoples dreams but his actions also caused them to be completely be forgotten. they were alive, but they were robbed of their ability to be remembered at all, and so they were as good as dead even still breathing and talking.

retroactively, this idea enforces tatsuyas jewishness, considering the entire story of eternal punishment. he refused to forget the masked circle, even though it hurts.

anyways back to jun, i also think the whole repentance thing is important too. he hurt people in his anger and sorrow and spends the rest of his life (until the world is reset at least lol) atoning for his wrongdoings.

also, i know i said kid him is super jewish looking, but he has not gotten better as hes grown up. 17y.o him is exactly the guy your bubbe will pull up on facebook and be like "this is the grandson of my friend or whoever! you should go on a date with him, hes your age! he looks a bit gay but hes a very successful doctor! ...and hes JEWISH YAKNOW...." and ur like "ok bubbe"

ERIKO:

i actually do not recall exactly why she is in this tier specifically. the only thing i for sure remember was that i at least partially placed her here bc of her fascination with the occult.

HIKARI:

ok this one was kinda me goofing. its the whole extended family thing like whats more jewish than being actively discouraged from a creative career for something "safe" and "normal?" bro the aunt might as well have dropped the "being a doctor is very respectable" line in the song.

but like even without that, wanting to be a director or associated with film? hitting her with the jew beam. mazel tov babygirl.

[eternalwritess]

mha matchup for @the-kinnie-in-me

i match you with... 𝓗𝓲𝓽𝓸𝓼𝓱𝓲 𝓢𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓸 ██ 20% _ ████ 60% _ █████ 80% _ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 100% ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ!

♔ You two probably met during the sports festival and didn't talk all too much during it. He probably didn't like you too much because you seemed unapproachable and that you might yell at him if he tries talking to you. Although when his match ended and he went back to his class yours was starting up. You might've congratulated him to release some tension and told him that he did well.

♔ Once your match had played out he congratulated you and told you that you did better than he expected. You thanked him and you both ended up hanging out for the rest of the festival, he wasn't really friends with anyone else in his class and you were still likely warming up to the others so neither of you minded it.

♔ Once he started expressing his desire to become an actual hero and started talking about how he was worried if he had done enough or not you comforted him over it and he liked that about you.

♔ As you began getting more and more energetic around him he didn't find himself hating it, he actually loved it, he loved the way your personality balanced out his and managed to push him to do more and more things. He would also tone you back down if it went too far

♔ The moment he realized that he liked you is when you convinced him to bake with you. the whole time he couldn't keep his eyes off of you and kept watching your every movement. That's when he realized, thats also when his face would be a slightly darker shade of red around you. For totally no reason at all, yep.

♔ He told you that he liked you when he took you shopping for a few things, he bought you a few gifts and then finally built up the courage to confess, once you agreed he was shocked to say the least. He was preparing himself for rejection. But he was happy nonetheless.

^っ ̫ <^♡

♔ He doesn't mind your humor at all, he giggles at it from time to time and when it tends to get too dark he's absolutely shocked. But not in a bad way, but he starts laughing a little just because he's so shocked that its funny to him.

♔ If you ever did something wrong or something not cool he would tell you almost instantly. Not in a rude way but instantly, he would drag you aside to a quieter place so that the two of you wouldn't make a scene and slowly talk through what had happened with you.

♔ He is a big cuddler. He likes snuggling up with you on the couch and wrapping his arms around your waist. He'll also he give you nose and forehead kisses all of the time. It took him a while before he built up the courage to actually kiss you on the lips, and as he did he was beat red while doing it.

♔ He gets shocked whenever you get him something and will tell you that you didn't need to do that, but he'll except the gift without any trouble as he finds it rude if he doesn't.

[tommysspumoni]

Summer Heat

A/N: a new post? After like years of nothing? Lifes crazy. This is an old old draft ive decided to finish.

Pairing: Sam x fem!reader

Warnings: self deprecation, briefly rude Sam?

It was always hot in the bunker in the summer time so wearing little clothes was a normal thing for the two boys. You had known them for quite some time and have been living with them for a few years now. Normally you wear more clothes because you’re self-conscious, but it was particularly hot today and you decided it was time to finally get his attention. 

Sam ignores your small flirtatious comments. Blowing off any sort of sign of your feelings for him.

You threw on a sports bra and small spandex shorts and went to sit with the boys. Dean’s eyes caught your body, checking you out obviously. He made eye contact with you, giving you a silent compliment.

He understood what you were trying to do with Sam. He supported it. Sam’s told him he has feelings for you too.

You sat down across from Sam and opened your book. He looked at you before looking back to his computer. You leaned on the table, pushing your breasts up slightly. He looked up at you again, eye’s flickering down to your chest. With an annoyed eye roll, he looked back to his computer.

“Ouch,” you thought. You did it again and he looked up at you.

“What are you doing y/n?” He snapped slightly, obviously annoyed. You shrugged, eyes staying on your book.

“If you’re not gonna tap that while she’s offering then I will.” Dean laughed. You laughed and flipped him off.

“Not interested, you go ahead, Dean,” Sam said. Okay, owe. Dean flashed a small look of sympathy to you. You softly closed your book before setting it down, harder then you meant to. Both boys eyes were on you as you stormed out. 

What upset you wasn’t the fact that you weren’t getting the attention you wanted but because you were incredibly self-conscious about your body. You put your body out there for him, and he acted annoyed with it. Dean looked at his brother once you left the room.

“What’s up with her?” Sam asked Dean. He just frowned and shook his head. 

“Sam?” Dean said after a moment. He looked up from his computer at his brother.  “Do you ever think maybe she wants you to look at her?” 

“What do you mean?” Sam said, genuinely confused.

“I mean. She’s not interested in me. We all know that. We also all know she’s extremely self-conscious about her body. She just came out here half naked. We both know that wasn’t for me. It wasn’t for her, she probably hated every minute of that. That leaves one reason she was doing that. You, Sam.” 

“Yeah. I’m sure. She totally wants me.” He said sarcastically. 

“I swear, with the amount you two hate yourselves, you’re perfect for each other. She’s told me, Sam. Just trust me on this and go take care of her. Just keep it quiet, I don't want to hear you two have sex.” Dean said, opening his own laptop and turning on Netflix. Sam runs a hand over his face before heading to your room.

You were sitting on your bed, wrapped in a silk robe, just scrolling through your phone when there was a soft knock. 

“Come in.” You said, thinking it might be Dean. Sam opens the door and you look up at him, rolling your eyes when you seen it was him, then turning your attention back to your phone. 

He leaned against the door frame and rubbed the back of his neck before speaking. 

“So I guess I’m stupid.” he said.

“Yep.” you said, not looking up from your phone.

“I’m sorry.” he said.

Feeling annoyed with him, all you said was. “Ok.” 

He stood there for a few moments not saying anything. 

You put your phone down and sighed. “Did you need something?” You asked, looking at him.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I was a jerk. You didn't deserve that" he said while rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"It's fine, Sam. I get it you're not interested. I don't blame you. No hard feelings" you said, going back to your phone.

"I- thats not tr-" he started, but you cut him off. You put your phone down with a sigh.

"Sam. You don't have to explain yourself. I'm a big girl, I can handle a simple rejection." That was a lie. You were trying to hold yourself together until he left. It wasn't the rejection. It was the way it happened. You could handle a simple 'No thanks, I'm not interested' but he was rude about it. That did nothing to help the already crumbling state of your self-esteem.

He mumbled another quick apology before turning to leave out the open doorway before he was stopped by his brother.

"No. Go back in there." Dean said, practically pushing the taller brother back into the room. "This has gone on long enough you two. You both have feelings for each other, are attracted to each other and you both know it! You both hate yourselves just enough to not believe it. Now, you two need to grow up and talk this out like the adults you are." He said before shutting the door and walking away, leaving you alone in your bedroom with the younger Winchester.

You both sighed and looked at each other. You sat up more against your head board and patted the spot in front of you, inviting him to sit. He accepted, sitting hunched over at your feet with his hands on his lap as if to appear smaller, less intimidating.

It was silent for a while before you sighed again.

"He's right, isn't he?" You asked in more of a whisper. He nodded.

"Look Sam, we can just go back to the way things were. Put this behind us. Just be friends." You suggest, even though that's not what you want at all.

He turned to look at you. "Is that what you want, Y/N?" He asked. You hesitated, considering lying and saying yes, as to not make this harder than it has to be. But you can't, if you did this entire event would have been pointless. You subtly shake your head no, so subtle you weren't even sure if you actually shook your head at all.

That concern was put to rest when he said "Me neither." Silence. Again.

"Why?" Was all you could muster.

"Why? You're beautiful, funny, insanely intelligent. You're a badass hunter and a great person. You're kind and comforting to everyone you meet. Why would anyone not want to be with you, Y/N?" He spoke, turning on the bed to look at you head on.

"That's not all true, Sam. I’m a good, kind hunter, but, that's all that could be said about me. Compared to you and Dean, I am nothing. You are an amazing hunter, the sweetest, kindest person I've ever known. You're wicked smart not to mention how attractive you are. I am nothing, Sam. I'm just a burden on you guys, another person to worry about." You said, maintaining eye contact with him as if that will keep you from breaking down.

His face softened. He placed a hand on your knee. "Don't say that." He said simply.

After a few more moments of silence, he spoke again, "Wow, Dean's right, we really do hate ourselves don't we." He said with a chuckle. You let out a small laugh as well.

“Yeah, maybe. We’ve got to work on that.” You chuckled.

“I really do like you, Y/N. I was being a jerk because I thought.. well I don’t know what I thought. You didn’t deserve that, I’m sorry. I think you’re beautiful.” He smiled and you placed your and on top of his on your knee.

“Thank you, Sam.” You smiled.

“What do you say we go for lunch? Preferably someplace with air conditioning.” He chuckled, taking your hand in his as he stood.

“Like a date?” You questioned.

“Yeah, like a date.”

(GIF not mine)

[spidermanifested]

this is not my usual type of post but ive been rotating some thoughts and i guess my blogs as good a place as any to get them organized. okay so this is basically my take on the entire discourse surrounding the "feminine (presumed cis lets be honest) women are uniquely oppressed for being feminine/making female characters quote unquote Less Feminine is antifeminist" thing. which i keep seeing come up. on this internet of ours

context being im a trans guy. grew up largely seen by others as female, probably, sort of. was about as far from a cishet womans feminine as you can imagine. not in a cool tomboy way. not in a way that society had a box for. and thats the thing, is that when you fail at gender, whether youre conscious of it or not, theres this extremely profound loneliness that comes with it. part of it was the autism but i made like 6 real-life friends total from ages 4 to 18 and there were no examples of anyone with an even remotely adjacent experience i could find in the media or irl. anytime a female character skirted a little too close to actual masculinity in a tv show or movie shed get that makeover eventually. i was bullied by both boys and girls but the girls who bullied me were uniformly very feminine.

and so i see people talking about how hard feminine women and girls have it, how the world hates them for being beautiful, and on the one hand its like okay, Misogyny Exists. thats not really refutable thats just the reality of it. society hates women. and as for eurocentric femininity specifically i understand its a hard tightrope to walk!!! you have to put on all these masks BUT make them seem natural, youre forced into these narrow boxes of acceptable behavior and appearance and desires, and if you under- or over-shoot then people get reminded the whole thing is a farce and get mad (often violently!) at YOU for it

........but then my thing is, that on one side of the tightrope, the "overperforming eurocentric femininity" side, the tradwife or girlboss or blonde bimbo side, theres an entire history of structural trope-crafting to break your fall, right. like its a shitty box but its the box society WANTS you to be in. they look at you and go "yep thats a woman. we dont like those but that sure is one". there are known social niches to carve out. theres a script.

on the unfeminine side theres just. nothing. its stone cold concrete down there. and apparently twitter would have you believe its actually that the "more masculine" somebody presumed female appears the more society respects them but that to me is the wildest and most nonsense take on the planet because if people see you as a woman or girl who has not taken the needed steps to justify your place as one of those things you might as well be an alien, or even a monster. theres no script at all. and i feel like this is one of the major experiences that trans and gnc people of every gender share-- god knows trans women get the brunt of the vitriol-- and from my knowledge a lot of nonwhite people too, and also fat and disabled people, like. there are SO many things that affect your ability to achieve even a fraction of success at this aspirational femininity.

ive had to see people for real make the argument that princess peach making an angry face is masculine. i think the most masculine woman anyone on twitter can imagine right now is like a businesswoman in a form-fitting pantsuit and light mascara. maybe the struggle of succeeding at femininity under patriarchy deserves exploration, ive seen plenty of coherent and reasonable points, its not without worth as a discussion. but i do not trust the general public with the topic without immediately sliding into bog standard gender policing and transphobia, and so in closing, when the mainstream feminist take on the whole thing seems to be "the more you perform the femininity expected of you the worse you have it", i get the sensation that nobody told me it was opposite day and im about to feel real silly

[planet-crait]

Wow I am even more off then I realized last episode was 13 I’m on 14? I think? Maybe I should like give the names incase I’m wrong current episode I’m watching is Peace of Pizza. Full disclosed now that we have had a glimpse of Devs life outside of school I’m going to be super impatient to see more.

Ohh Dev is in the title card will we see more of him this episode?

Oh Kindness day. Huh not a bad idea. I mean okay I’ve said this before but doing kind things even for selfish reasons can change peoples mindset and get them to continue to do good things and it works better with younger kids so not a bad idea. I have a feeling though even with the pizza reward getting Dev on board will be a problem.

Oh harsh uh getting everyone to participate or no one gets rewarded. I’ve never been a fan of punishing the entire class for one student or holding back a reward based on one student. It always felt overly harsh.

Hazel knocking the eraser off to pick it up really shouldn’t count lolz.

Okay Hazels impassioned speech while Mr. Guzman just stands their unimpressed is hilarious I can’t lie. And everyone getting all teary eyed. It’s over the top but it’s just so funny I can’t be mad.

Wait wait Dev doesn’t like Pizza??? What is wrong with Dev?? Poor Mr. Guzman that has to be painful like your eye?

Oh Aliens. Huh. Okay I was wondering when Aliens would make an appearance. Oh poor Cosmo and Wanda lolz. Wait how many negotiations have Cosmo and Wanda been to? Also wait pizza in the wrong hands??? I don’t understand? What is dangerous about pizza?

Oh poor Mr. Guzman he was so hopeful and Dev just throwing away an unopened milk he didn’t even drink? Not only mean but environmentally fucked. But like with how bad his dad is I’m not surprised.

Aww Cosmo you’re so cute and them being so in love it so adorable.

I am so invested in the hiding spots Mr. Guzman finds it’s just. So funny seeing where he’s hiding praying for Dev to do something nice. Ice cream pizza that sounds so good oh my gosh.

Uh what’s he going to do? Oh uh so he’s going to be a spoiled brat? I doubt it’ll go well against Dev. Yep just as I expected. Wait what? Uh. Okay? Also Dev is uh really cool with Aliens?

Why is the news there over an elementary school pizza party? I don’t understand? I gotta give props to the news anchor though she uh remained composed despite being hit with a pizza.

Oh my heart hurts a little Dev was so excited he thought his dad came. I doubt his dad was like ever there for Dev when he needed. If they make some sort of joke he wasn’t even there for Devs birth I really wouldn’t be surprised.

Wait why would you offer that switch to Dev?? How many times will that older not Timmy model be used this feels cruel. Ohh poor Pizza guy he’s so sure lolz. But also I feel like the world would be more panicked if all of an item suddenly vanished just. Just a thought lolz.

WAIT WHY DID ALL OF ITALY DISAPPEARED?? Oh Dev is lactose intolerant. Okay I get why he doesn’t like Pizza. Ohhh nice work Hazel. I’m very impressed lolz. And it works!! Look oh Mr. Guzman was so desperate to give him something. And I mean? Positive reinforcement for a good dead even if he caused the issue is a start? Especially with a kid who’s clearly got home life issues he needs all the positivity he can get.

Awww Dev. Thats really so cute. He’s so excited to have it but is still keeping up a mask. I wonder if showing excitement got him into trouble in the past? I also wonder if his dad just. Lied about lactose alternatives not existing? And eating pizza and such in front of him and not bringing lactose alternatives for him? OH! I wondered why Dev would take all the pudding just to give it away. That makes sense. I wonder if we don’t see him eating any pudding in that episode? I may have to go back and check.

I checked I totally forgot he ate the pudding. Either his dad lied about the lactose intolerance thing, this pudding doesn’t have lactose in it or it wasn’t decided til after this episode was done. Not a huge deal in the end lolz I’m guessing that they just hadn’t decided he was lactose intolerant yet when the pudding episode was written and didn’t think about it. Regardless I am curious if Dale just hates lactose free alternatives and lied about their existence so he could have his stuff and not have stuff he didn’t like in the house. Cuz Dev was really upset about being forced to watch his classmates eat and enjoy it, it makes me wonder. Regardless him not knowing lactose free options existed makes me so mad at Dale.

Next episode is A New Dev-elopement and I have heard this has more Dev stuff so I’m kind of excited! Also if I seem to have missed an episode let me know cuz I don’t want to accidentally skip any of em!

[sporesgalaxy]

i know you've had a lot of people responding to your post about hrt already but i wanted to share my experience, so here's a list

1. i also could not be bothered to go through the steps required to get testosterone for a very long time (like 6 years lol) but i went through folx and its worked pretty well for me, you can tell them if you want gel or injections, a higher or lower dose, and they don't make you go to a therapist or anything which is great

2. if you can get to one of those FedEx package holding places, you can opt for it to be held there instead of shipped to your residence directly and they make the outer packaging discreet

3. i also have ocd and ive already noticed after 2 months that it's definitely helped with some of my compulsions and overall it's been great for my confidence and emotional state

4. speaking of, it's total bs that testosterone makes you angrier, bc i am normally a very angry person and i haven't been nearly as angry lately (probably something to do with being generally happier and more comfortable in my own skin)

5. my menstrual cycles have been SIGNIFICANTLY easier, from cramps to flow to emotional state, and again, this is after 2 months

overall I've had a very positive experience, and i know part of what helped me even get started in the first place is hearing other people's experiences and knowing i didn't have to go through all of it all at once so hopefully, no matter what you decide, this helps with the process!

1. oh huh! thanks for mentioning Folx Health, I'd never heard of that before. I've only glanced over the site but it seems cool. Sadly cowardice is stopping me more than laziness 😑 I keep thinking if I inconvenience my family members I'll go to hell before I die. working on it. will be easier when I have a full time job

2. thats a neat trick! I'd rather just wait until I'm paying my own rent but this sounds v useful and Im glad to share it

3. Interesting and not entirely surprising! My OCD definitely gets worse or better in preportion to my general anxiety, so feeling better for gender reasons causing improvement makes total sense

4. Yep that tracks with other anecdotes Ive heard! Great to hear!

5. fuck yeas period is over party 🎉🎊

thanks for sharing!!

[rigginsstreet]

Having thots about Steve who's engaged to Nancy. Steve who got kind of swept up into a life he hates and doesn't want with the family business office job and the boring old-people social life. Who's been putting off the wedding for a long time for reasons he can't even explain, and who is finally dragging himself through the process of it all. Who hires a fancy wedding planning agency to basically do most of it all for him, and winds up with Billy as his assigned PA.

Billy who looks absolutely nothing like the other staff he's met. Who rocks up to their first meeting in jeans so tight Steve genuinely wonders how he can move, a deep plum silk shirt, glossy curls and a dangly earring and clunky boots with metal bits on them. Nancy is, of course, horrified, even if she's too perfectly polite to let it on. Steve is...

Enthralled.

Nancy refuses any and all of Billy's help so Billy becomes less 'their' PA and more just Steve's. And at first they're kind of civil enemies. Billy has this way of insulting him without it really being an overt insult, and Steve has this way of staring at Billy's ass and then getting angry at Billy for it. And it doesn't help that Steve just. Goes along with whatever Billy says. Mostly.

And it opens his eyes up to a whole new world. Billy takes him day drinking and impromptu lake swimming and takes him to a metal concert and basically just drags Steve into the exact kind of life he's always wanted and never had. The kind of things he used to do as a kid before the noose of adulthood and the Harrington family name tightened. The kind of things he never got the chance to do.

The wedding is a month away when Steve actually sits down and looks at everything and realizes somewhere along the line he stopped planning a wedding to marry Nancy, and started planning a wedding as if he was marrying Billy....

I LOVE EMOTIONAL CHEATING AND SCANDAL!

this au would not be complete without a scene of billy and steve at the caterer to pick out a wedding cake flavor and they get mistaken for the married couple and steve goes to correct the baker but billy, the shit he is, interrupts him with "yep! we're so excited about our big day arent we honey?" and at first steve has alarms going off in his head like *bad idea bad idea bad idea* but those are quickly overridden by temptation to play along and pretend he's billys fiance and next thing he knows hes creating this whole elaborate story about their "proposal" and theyre going back and forth making up their love story and the bakers totally eating up like "this is so romantic, i can see you two are soulmates" and thats when it gets decidedly less funny for steve because oh... that does actually sound pretty fitting for some reason, has a nice ring to it...