#thats totally fake blood and a fake heart | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bratkook · 3 years ago

Text

right now. (m) jjk.

not yet, almost , right now

pairing. jungkook x reader genre. fluff, smut, idiots to lovers!! word count. 14.8k warnings. two mega fucking idiots<33, miscommunication/dumb assumptions, smut in forms of: fingering, oral sex (f.), orgasm denial, spanking, some spit bc duh, unprotected sex, super sweet & lovey!! also jungkook is a sweetheart pls love him summary. coming to terms with your feelings after getting off to the idea of your close friend is a little harder than you thought, but how long can you take before jungkook decides its time to move on? note. did jlin forget how to write for a few weeks? yes, yes she did....i know this took a long time but life is rough man so forgive me... but anyways lol the final part to the not yet!verse is hereeeee! thank you to @kithtaehyung for reading this over for me ily!! thank you guys for enjoying this mini series, the response was really unexpected but im sososo happy over every comment/ask i’ve gotten for this story. once again, tysm for your love and let me know what you think<3

The evening sun illuminates Jungkook’s apartment, golden hour bouncing off every reflective surface and straight into his eyes the second he walks in, immediately squinting as he makes a beeline to shut the blinds. His head was already throbbing from the hangover that decided to peak around noon, a mean case of nausea putting a damper on his work day. So as much as he loved soaking in some vitamin D today was not the day.

“Are you joking?” he huffs as he brings down the blinds, hand yanking at the flimsy string in an attempt to get it unstuck. “How stup—you’d think with the amount I pay every month in rent the blinds would work!”

Alright, so maybe he was a little grumpy today, choosing to take it out on an inanimate object and blame it purely on the bad decisions made last night—definitely had nothing to do with the residual moping of you going on a date. This could be fixed, easily.

The first order of business? Texting you to see if you’d be interested in devouring greasy food from your favorite place down the street. He’d get to see you and finally put something in his stomach, it’s the best of both worlds really.

Jungkook forgets about the blinds, leaving them stuck in the awkward position as he walks away entirely, fishing his phone out of his pocket while he enters his room. It’s the same text he always sends when he’s hangry: If I don’t get food in the next 15 mins I'm burning this place down and taking you with me.

He knows the response he’ll get, either that meme of the child in front of a burning house or an equally hangry paragraph. The phone gets tossed onto his bed as he changes out of his work clothes, needing to dispose of the business casual attire that was suffocating him, his old college hoodie giving him the comfort he needs.

By the time he’s finally slipping on his sneakers he’s expecting you to come knocking on his door, your impatient attitude always putting a smile on his face. Half of the time your neighbors thought you were having arguments from the way you’d pound onto the slab of wood, saying his name with just enough annoyance laced into each syllable it would fool anyone into thinking you were actually upset instead of being a brat. But when that never comes, he reaches for his phone again.

A few notifications fill up his screen, some instagram direct message previews, his group chat that he never responded to, and a few emails coming through, but you had yet to respond. Maybe it’s a little creepy, but Jungkook knows you’re home because he passed by your parked car on his way in. So his mind jumps to two extremes: you were either face down, drowning in your bathtub, or that yellow shades wearing wannabe version of himself was at your place.

Not an ounce of shame sits within him as he speedwalks to the side his bed was on, placing both palms onto the wall before his ear was pressed against the cold drywall. Jungkook’s not really sure what would make him feel good, hearing you and Jung Hoseok together, or hearing nothing at all. His ears strain to hear anything, but the only sound he gets is his own blood pumping.

With a small pout he pulls back, deciding he’d play the annoying neighbor role today and pound on your door instead. It’s a role he doesn’t take lightly, knuckles banging on the wood loud enough for you to hear wherever you were in your apartment. It takes a few minutes before any sign of life is shown, your door creaking open, and Jungkook is thankful because he was about to head to the maintenance office to ask for a key in case you actually were drowning in your bathtub.

“C’mon, let’s get food,” he declares instantly, a charming smile on his face as he stands with his hands stuffed into his jean pockets. The smile slowly falls off when he gets a good look at you, hair looking like a mess on your head and your fluffy blanket draped around you as you give out a weak cough. “Are you sick?”

“I think so,” you rasp out, leaning against your door frame and tugging the blanket tighter around you.

“Did that fucker give you mono?” Jungkook looks irritated, brows pinched together in a grimace—something you’re definitely not accustomed to seeing so you almost don’t catch his accusation.

“Jungkook, no! It’s nothing serious.”

He doesn’t look fully convinced, but he shrugs anyways, positive you weren’t interested in getting interrogated when you were feeling under the weather. “Alright, let me know if you need me to drive you to the doctor if it becomes something serious.”

With a roll of your eyes and a small smile, you wave him off, slowly shutting the door behind you. Your eye immediately peeks through your peephole, not relaxing until he makes his way down the hall and enters the elevator, still on his quest for greasy food.

“God, how old are you?” you grumble to yourself, yanking the blanket off your body and onto the floor with a huff. Pretending to be sick to avoid your friend was a new low, especially after the post-orgasm epiphany you had last night. A sane person would come to terms with their feelings and confess to them, uncertainty and possible rejection be damned! But you? No, you have to fake a cold like the giant coward you are.

The guilt only deepens when a knock comes from your door an hour later, a quick peek through your peephole allowing you to see Jungkook setting two plastic bags on the floor before stepping back and walking to his apartment next door. You don’t come out until you hear his door shut, seeing the logo of your favorite diner down the street. No doubt would your comfort meal be inside the takeaway container.

It takes all you have to not rush over to his place and say you were lying when you see he had also gone ahead and got you cold medication, a few different bottles because he surely didn’t know which was best, along with teas and some cough drops.

You’re a dirty liar. A horrible friend too.

That doesn’t stop you from devouring the meal in the takeout box as you’re hunched over your breakfast bar like a little gremlin. “This is just for today,” you mumble out to yourself as you set the plastic fork down and chug some of the leftover alcohol you had in your fridge. It’s your own version of a pity party, except the food feels heavy in your stomach, knowing the man you were avoiding was the one who bought it—bring on the guilt.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

You’re a dirty liar and horrible friend 2.0. Why this time? Because tomorrow stretched out a few more days than planned. It wasn’t entirely intentional at first, getting stuck at work longer than usual and missing the weekly hangout at your place where you got your remote covered in cheeto dust as you argued over what to watch. But it trickled down onto shorter replies to his texts, or you scrambling out of your apartment and into the elevator so fast in order to not run into him, your mind still trying to list all the pros and cons to this potential relationship before you even had the guts to confess to your feelings.

Jungkook didn’t know thats what was occupying your mind, no he was currently thinking the worst. He notices the change instantly, recognizing it because this was the exact way you had acted while you were with Hajoon, right before you broke the news to him that you needed to keep some distance while you focused on your relationship. So Jungkook automatically assumes that your sudden change in behavior after going on a single date with Jung Hoseok, was because you wanted to make your relationship with this man work.

His assumption stings—a lot actually—and soon enough he stops initiating conversations altogether. He didn’t want to hear you tell him you had to distance yourself again, he’s not sure his heart could handle that a second time, so he decides to get ahead of the curb and take a massive step away from you. It hurts him to know you’re right next door, and just like before, it’s like you’re back to being total strangers.

Safe to say Jungkook was currently going on his own downward spiral.

You could text him like nothing had happened and he’d accept it with open arms, but instead you text your best friend an SOS text, begging her to meet you at your place. She calls you dramatic at first, but once you say it’s about Jungkook she shows up at your place in record time.

“Did you finally fuck him?” Is her greeting of choice, spoken shamelessly from the hallway with no worry about her volume. She cackles when you yank the bottle of wine from her grasp and tug her into your apartment, letting the door slam behind her.

“You’re lucky he’s not home you bitch.” An eye roll is her only response, yanking the bottle back and making her way into your kitchen to grab the opener.

“So you didn’t fuck him?” The cork pops at her question, a curious glance staring you down as she pours the red liquid into an oversized cup.

“No Seulgi, I didn’t fuck him. But I did...something.” It makes your face warm up as you remember it, gratefully grabbing the cup she hands your way because you definitely need some liquid courage before confessing to your sins.

She hums in thought as she raids your pantry for something to munch on, settling on a bag of mini pretzels before leading you to your couch, needing to know the gossip that led to your sos text. “Okay, did you accidentally send him a nude then?”

“No, that wouldn’t be so bad I think?” Sending him an accidental nude would be laughable, probably resolved by a few screaming texts and dumb jokes before moving on. But new feelings seeing the light of day seemed so much worse. “But I sort of kissed him at a club a few weeks ago to get back at Hajoon—long story,” you cut in when you see her ready to fire off questions.

“And then I went on that failed Tinder date I told you about, and when I got home I sort of heard him, you know,”— you mimic a jerking off motion with your hand and ignore her lewd gasp, “and then I…” you trail off shamefully.

“No!” she gasps even louder, hand pressed to her mouth and eyes wide.

“Yes! And the fucking orgasm opened my eyes and made me realize that maybe that tiny crush you guys always joke about him having is real, and maybe I have a tiny crush on him too.”

“Does he know?”

“That I like him?”

“No, that you rubbed one out while listening to him you dirty slut!” Oh she’s loving this, leaning back into your cushions with a handful of pretzels resting on her boobs, a sly smile on her lips as she takes a sip of her wine. She’s the one who planted the seed in your mind, playfully joking about Jungkook any chance she got, saying he had the hots for you because she enjoyed the flustered look on your face. No doubt would she text the group chat with the news the second you finish this cry for help.

“Do you think I told him? I can barely come to terms with the fact that I like him. Like what am I supposed to do?”

She sighs dramatically, munching on the final pretzel on her tits before sitting up and dusting off the crumbs from her shirt. “Look, I know you’re just realizing that he likes you so this is still new and fresh for you, but we’ve noticed it for years. It’s fine that you didn’t see it, you had other things occupying your mind.”

You frown as you stare at the rug beneath your feet, remembering how life was when you first moved into this complex. Getting out of a previous relationship weeks prior, when you had met Jungkook your mind was not interested in pursuing anything with him regardless of how cute you thought he was. It made it easier for you to form a friendship, not worried about trying to impress him, or flirt with him, allowing him to see you for who you truly are.

Jungkook had his fair share of girlfriends during the years, none of which were entirely serious but by the time he was completely single you had met Hajoon, and he had accepted the fact that maybe you were better off as friends and he would just admire you from afar. That is, until you decided to plant one on him. So technically this is your fault.

“Jungkook likes you okay, and I’m sure if you just marched next door and told him you like him too he’ll drop on one knee and marry you.”

“Shut up,” you snort, shoving her shoulder with a smile.

“As a matter of fact, go over there right now!” She stands up from her spot, yanking your arms to haul you up with her.

“I told you, he’s not home. But, I’ll tell him. I have to.”

Seulgi crosses her arms over her chest as she stares at you, clearly displeased that she wouldn’t be witness to this love story unfolding in real time. “You better. You never know what sneaky little bitch is trying to get him to get over you.”

The sneaky little bitch in question is Park Jimin, currently sitting directly across from Jungkook, guzzling down beer like his life depends on it. It's impressive really, how quickly he empties the cup, eyes shut looking as content as could be even in the dim lighting. Jungkook can only watch with a grimace as his friend sets the glass down and wipes at his mouth with no sense of table manners.

“What?” he burps, proceeding to pour more of the golden liquid into his cup from the pitcher in the middle of the table.

“I always forget how absolutely disgusting you are. How do you do it?” Jimin just frowns at the question, not entirely understanding so Jungkook continues. “What switch do you flip to go from sipping champagne to chugging beer like a fucking biker.”

“It’s a talent, I know.” He smiles wide, reaching forward to grip Jungkook’s hand and force him to grab his own cup. Condensation was pooling around the bottom from sitting there untouched, and that just wouldn’t do on Jimin’s watch. “C’mon, drink it!”

“Fine,” Jungkook grumbles, raising the glass and allowing Jimin to clank the cups together before taking a big gulp. He doesn’t clear the cup like his friend did seconds prior but it's enough to appease him. It tastes absolutely bitter the whole way down, settling into his stomach uncomfortably, and the look on his face as he pushes the glass away from him is very telling.

Boisterous shouts fill the sports bar they were in, huddles of people surrounding the tables and booths as they watched the current soccer match playing on the televisions lining the walls. Jungkook honestly feels like a debby downer now, moping in his seat instead of enjoying the atmosphere with his friend like they normally did. The current game was definitely not the reason Jungkook had texted Jimin to grab drinks, no he needed an outlet to talk about you—preferably in a space that didn’t have walls as thin as his apartment.

When he barely acknowledges the plate of wings set in front of him Jimin huffs, resisting the urge to dig in because he knew once he did he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else. “Are you gonna be like this the entire time?”

“Like what?” Jungkook has the gall to ask, acting as if he wasn’t looking like a wounded animal.

“Like you just discovered your wife of ten years is having an affair with your sister.”

He sits up straighter at that, eyes wide in disbelief. “Jesus.“

Jimin knew the jist of what was happening through the texts he had received the past week, but it seems like Jungkook didn’t want to jump into the topic of it at all now that they were sitting across from each other. He just sighs before deciding to be honest, wasting no time beating around the bush to hopefully be the voice of reason Jungkook needs. “You’ve been simping over her for years JK, and I get it, you think she could be the one. But what about you huh? It’s not fair for you to have your heart wrung out each time she gets a man and decides to put the friendship on pause—“

“That happened once!” He defends, brows pinched on his forehead as he shakes his head, ready to explain your situation because he wasn’t a fan of hearing his friend say anything about you when he didn’t truly know what happened. “The dude was a piece of shit and basically told her it was him or me. I’m not gonna crucify her for wanting a long term relationship to work.”

“Right, so she’s not icing you out again because she got a new man? That’s literally what you told me, it’s why I bought you this sympathy pitcher of beer!”

“Fuck you, you bought this pitcher for yourself.” Jimin had chugged two giant glasses of beer already, and was steadily working on his third, whereas Jungkook’s watered down cup remained relatively untouched. “Besides, I was just...spiraling and assumed when I sent you that desperate text. But I haven’t heard anything.”

Jimin can only stare blankly at the table as he processes what was just said before locking eyes with his friend once more, “Sorry, what? You haven’t heard anything? The hell kind of riddle is that.”

Jungkook sinks into the booth with a look of shame, not wanting to admit to occasionally laying in his bed at night in complete and total silence just to see if he could hear you and the hypothetical version of Jung Hoseok doing literally anything. It’s not one of his proudest moments, feeling like a bit of a creeper as he laid stiff on his bed, too scared to make a sound. “Nothing, forget about it. Point is, I haven’t seen the fucker come in or out of her place, so what does that mean?”

A deep sigh comes from Jimin, hand reaching forward to push the beer closer to Jungkook, desperately trying to get him to drink and ease up. “It means you pay far too much attention to her. When was the last time you got any action?”

Two weeks ago. From his hand and filthy imagination.

“A few months,” he grumbles, remembering his last hook up that happened a few days before he discovered you got dumped.

“Get outta here.” Jimin rolls his eyes as he points to the door. “Literally, go stand at the corner outside, show some thighs or a tattooed titty and take your pick of the swarm of girls that will surely follow you.”

Jungkook thinks he’s joking, but when his friend doesn’t drop his hand and narrows his eyes threateningly he knows he’s being serious. “My tits aren’t even tattooed,”—his large palms press against his shirt covered chest as if to prove a point— “And you sound like a douchebag talking like this.”

“What? She went on a tinder date and definitely got laid, so you need to even out the playing field. Also, it might help you chill the hell out.”

“Oh my god, you’re not helping.” Jungkook really didn’t need that visual again, it had flashed in his mind too often the night of his pity party and now it was once again at the front of his brain.

“Alright, okay. I’m throwing out my safe word right now.” Jimin leans closer, arms resting on the table with a confused look on his face. “What do you need from me here? Like, do I play the role of a supportive friend who wants you to get over her, or do I play the role of a friend who wants you to confess? Because you’re giving me some mixed signals Jeon.”

A groan escapes Jungkook, fingers rubbing at his eyes before dragging down his face as he sinks even further into his seat. “I don’t know.”

It’s the truth. Jungkook had no idea what he wanted his friend to do to help him. He knew that although his feelings for you have weighed heavy on his chest for what seems like years, you technically had no idea, so he feels a little guilty over his frustration for the whole situation. You were newly single again and determined to go through this self proclaimed wild phase so Jungkook isn’t dumb enough to think you can’t go out and do whatever you want, even if that means being with someone who isn’t him.

“Look,” Jimin sighs, pulling him out of his thoughts. “You only have two choices here, tell her how you feel and accept whatever comes with it, or make peace with the idea of just being friends. Either way, I think you need to loosen up and have fun tonight.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jungkook sits himself up, wrapping his fingers around the cup in an effort to at least look like he wanted to be here. He couldn’t sit here and mope about a problem like this when he hadn’t attempted to come out and tell you how he feels.

One night of loosening up to get you off his mind wouldn’t hurt, if anything it might help him come to his senses. At least that’s what Jimin was currently whispering with a mischievous smile on his lips. “It’ll be fine, I’ll make sure you don’t black out and get home safe. Who knows, you might get plastered enough to drunk text your confession.”

Jungkook glares at his friend, not liking the goofy look on his face as he starts to laugh. “I swear to god, you better not let me get to that point. Take my phone away from me.”

Jimin obviously wants to see the world burn, or at least he enjoys it when Jungkook somehow digs himself into his own grave. That's exactly why he responds with a million laughing emojis when Jungkook texts him asking why the hell he hadn’t taken his phone last night.

He did a good job hiding his shock when a knock came from his front door, half expecting it to be you, keeping a smile on his face as he allowed the person who was very clearly not you in before swiftly entering his bathroom. Jungkook wants to stay locked here forever, holed up while he sits on his toilet and not in the living room with company. It wasn’t like it was bad company either, his drunken ass going through his contact list and sending an invitation to hangout the following day to the last person he spoke to, Aillie.

The girl is sweet, someone he had a casual fling with for months, someone who was used to his random texts so she doesn’t think twice before agreeing. The only silver lining to this was that he hadn’t sent you a typo-filled drunken confession, which is what Jimin responds with before telling him to suck it up and leave his bathroom.

Jungkook accepts his fate, as well as accepting that he is partially responsible for this. He shoves his device back into his pockets before standing up and flushing the toilet for show, washing his hands just to stall. One good glance at his reflection makes him cringe, stained shirt and sweats combo leaves him looking like the unprepared mess he is. Another detour through his room to change was a must before he has no choice but to step back out.

“You’re totally hung over aren’t you?” Aillie jokes from her spot on the couch, comfortable enough in his apartment from the time spent here. She locks her phone as she stands up, taking her time to really look Jungkook over. He was not dressed like someone who was expecting a guest, and despite having seen Jungkook at his sloppiest, his previous attire of oversized shirt and slightly stained sweatpants didn’t look like someone who was expecting a fuck buddy to pop over. Even with his new outfit looking more put together, it was obvious Jungkook was caught off guard by her showing up.

“What?” Jungkook dumbly asks, trying to come up with some lame excuse to justify his earlier appearance but he falls short. His fingers gently rake through his hair, a grimace falling on his face as he looks back up at her. “Actually, a little. Sorry, I got drunk last night when I text you so sober me was not really prepared.”

“Yeah I figured, you sent me some blurry selfies right after. But we can just hang, we don’t have to do anything,” she trails off, a soft smile on her lips. The only time they ever hung out was to hook up, having ten minute conversations before and after the fact. “Or I can leave too if it's weird that I’m here.”

Jungkook is shaking his head before she can even finish, already feeling bad enough after texting her to come over. How shitty would he be if he immediately kicked her out. This was fine, a nice distraction from it all, decent middle ground that would help him get his mind off you without having to take Jimin’s douchebag advice.

“No, we can watch a movie or something. It’s not like I have other plans.” Had this been two weeks ago it would be a totally different story. Jungkook would typically be waiting in his apartment as he stared at the slowly ticking clock, just waiting for it to strike 7:30 because that's when you usually got home. Then he’d either get a text from you to come over with snacks or you’d show up at his door and invite yourself over for the weekly game night.

It didn’t happen last week, or the week prior, so Jungkook is very confident that it would not be happening today either. It’s that same sense of confidence—and saltiness—that allows him to get comfortable with Aillie, blissfully unaware that you had just pulled into the parking garage a few stories below.

“I swear to god if you don’t go straight to his door the minute you get off the elevator I will never let you live it down.” Seulgi’s voice fills your car through the speakers, fading out as you shut the car off and bring your phone to your ear to continue the conversation.

“Dude, I just got off work. I need to make myself look decent.” Plastic bags rustle together as you grab the snacks you had picked up on your way home, all full of yours and Jungkook's favorite treats. It was definitely a guilt fueled purchase, hoping the items were enough to distract him from the fact that you were kind of a bitch for ghosting him recently, or at least butter him up into accepting your apology easier.

“You think Jungkook cares if you’re a little sweaty from work? He’s a grown man, that’s not gonna stop him from going do—“

“Okay, goodbye!” You hastily cut her off as you press the elevator button, hearing her rambling off about being interrupted. “I’m about to get on the elevator, I’ll tell you how it goes.”

With a small sigh you hang up and stuff the device into your purse, stepping onto the lift as the doors open up and pressing the number for your floor. Your hands are clammy as you grip the plastic bag, uncharacteristically nervous about seeing Jungkook again after so long.

The main obstacle for you to get over was apologizing for being a crappy friend, and if that went well you were going to suck it up and just come out and confess, the odds of him saying no were slim. And even if he did, you’re perfectly content with staying friends, as long as you could keep him close.

It’s that same optimistic mentality that allows you to calm down as you enter your place and decide to give yourself a minute to mentally prepare. His favorite ice cream gets put into the freezer for later before you decide to shower and give yourself a pep talk the entire time.

This pep talk of yours is filled with best case scenarios: Jungkook accepting the confession with open arms, finally being able to kiss him properly, everything falling into place the way it should have a long time ago. And as you head over, totally sober, freshly washed, looking and smelling your best, you really can’t picture this going any other way.

With a deep breath you’re knocking on his front door, quickly pulling back your hand and wiping it onto your pants as you step back. Jungkook hears the knock clearly from his spot on the couch, his gaze tearing away from the television to stare at his front door with a small frown. He hadn’t ordered any food and Aillie had just excused herself to use his bathroom so his brain is having a hard time wondering who it could be.

He curses under his breath, not putting it past himself to have texted a second person last night with an invitation to hang out. Why was Jungkook a friendly drunk?

As he presses his eye against the peephole and spots you standing there, he thinks he’s imagining things. It had seemed like so long since he had last seen you in person, and the warped fish-eyed version of you has him stepping back and rubbing his eyes before taking another glance. He suddenly feels like throwing up, and he can’t blame his earlier hangover on it.

For a brief second he contemplates pretending he hadn’t heard you, but the guilt of doing so makes his heart twist, so he musters up the courage to open the door. It’s barely a crack really, just enough for you to see him while still concealing his apartment, something you definitely found strange because you’re usually flinging the door open and strutting right in, but you suppose his reaction is warranted considering your previous behavior.

“Y/N, hey. Are you alright?”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine!” Your fingers tangle together in front of you, not entirely sure what to do with your nerves and Jungkook spots it easily. His own nerves sky rocket when he hears the sound of running water coming from his bathroom a few feet away, knowing Aillie would most likely pop out any second now, and he’s not sure why it feels like a dirty secret that he has another girl over.

“Did you need something?”

“Yeah, I was actually wanting to talk to you about something kind of important.” Your smile is hopeful, despite the nerves swirling in your eyes. The nervous skip of your heart is felt in your throat, not remembering the last time you had felt this way about telling someone how you felt about them romantically.

“Right now?” he wonders, fingers gripping the door handle tighter when he hears his bathroom door unlock, the sound of footsteps rounding the corner before stepping into the living room, a few feet away from the door and in perfect view of the wedge Jungkook had opened.

When your eyes flicker over his shoulder, spotting the auburn haired girl giving you a curious glance, you feel all your confidence slip away. Seulgi had definitely been right about needing to confess soon, Jungkook was a catch and just because you hadn’t realized it sooner didn’t mean the rest of the world was blind to it.

“Yeah, right now...but you’re busy, so it’s fine!” You want to scramble away from there, feeling dumb the longer you stand there. Jungkook wants to say he’s not busy, kick the girl out of his place and invite you in but that wouldn’t be fair to her, for all he knew your important conversation would be a repeat of the conversation you had over Hajoon, and he really didn't want to get friendship dumped while this girl was in his apartment. He’s pretty sure his Yelp rating would drop a bit if he cried on the couch about you to his old hook up.

He starts to speak but you cut him off before he can, “Don’t worry about it! I’ll see you later.” You force a smile before walking away, not allowing him to get a word in as you quickly step into your apartment and move to the furthest room away from your bedroom.

You can feel the cold of your kitchen floor as you sit on your butt, back against your cabinets, the small twinge of defeat spreading within you. “This is fine. Maybe she’s just a friend. I can always tell him tomorrow,” you whisper out. But your fingers seem to think otherwise as they type out a message to Seulgi, informing her that the mission was unsuccessful and you’d be putting on The Notebook like you always did. It was basically protocol to do so when things went south in your life.

She doesn’t even know how to console you, knowing she can’t tell you it was his loss or that he wasn’t worth it because she knows that’d be a lie and you wouldn’t believe it for a second. The only thing she can offer is coming over, but you’re quick to turn her down, deciding that being alone in the comfort of your bed as you inhaled the ice cream you bought for Jungkook would be best.

Is being in your room the wisest choice when you know you share a wall with Jungkook—and he has a cute girl over? No. Probably not. But you figure if you hear anything explicit it’s just your dose of karma, so you accept it, turning up the volume of the movie a few levels just to soften the blow.

However, Jungkook would definitely not be hooking up with her in his bedroom, or anywhere in his apartment for that matter. Luckily Aillie is blessed with the gift of reading the damn room and can easily spot the shift in Jungkook’s mood the second he shuts the door. She’s sitting on the edge of the couch now, hands gently placed on her knees as she gives him a sympathetic smile.

“I get the vibe that somethings off.”

He looks up at her then, slowing his pace until he’s awkwardly standing in the middle of the room with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. “My friend—my neighbor just wanted to talk about something. But everything’s fine.”

The lie tastes bitter on his tongue, and Aillie doesn’t believe him in the slightest. A small sigh fills the air as she stands up, collecting her bag and approaching him. “Look, I know deep talks really aren’t our thing so I’m not going to even try to dive into this, but you should go talk to your friend.”

A comforting hand is placed on his shoulder before she makes her way to the door to leave, Jungkook already following closely behind her. “No, you don’t have to go. You came all this way because I texted you with way too much tequila in my system.”

“Jungkook,” she laughs, opening the door with a smile. “You’re way too sweet for your own good. It was nice seeing you though.” Her eyes slowly move over to your front door before looking back at him, head cocking to the side in a very clear indication that he better go over. He can only nod in understanding, waving her goodbye and shutting the door once she heads down to the elevator.

The action sounds of the movie they were watching continues to fill his apartment, whatever chaos was going on only making his brain whirl so he’s quick to grab the remote and shut it off entirely. Now he’s just stuck in complete silence, wondering if he should quickly make his way over to yours or play it calm and collected.

The total silence allows him to hear the muffled mumbling of a movie he knew all too well. It draws him in, lures him into his bedroom until he’s kneeling on the mattress with his ear pressed against the wall to properly make it out. You were watching the Notebook, at a concerning volume, which could mean a number of things. Jungkook knew none of them were good, usually rooted in issues you had with your ex, or a tough day at work, or any particular day where you just felt like crying.

With a deep breath, he’s slowly knocking along his wall, almost experimentally, hoping it's enough to grab your attention through the current scene playing. For a second he thinks maybe you’ve fallen asleep while watching the film, but then the room falls silent as you pause it entirely.

Your hearts racing now, ears straining to hear anything else and hoping this wasn’t how the beginning of the explicit noises would start, but then another knock comes from behind you. It makes you gasp, like you’ve just been caught being the nosey neighbor you are, hearing the soft scrape of his hand sliding down the wall. The ice cream gets put onto your nightstand as you sit up properly, forcing yourself out of the mountain of pillows you were practically suffocating in and turning around to knock back.

Jungkook’s palm presses back onto the wall, smiling at your response before fishing his phone out of his pocket. His fingers find your thread of messages, further down the list than he was used to, and as he opens them up and sees the string of unanswered texts dating back to two weeks ago, it stings just like it did before. He pushes his pride aside though, knowing you had wanted to talk today in person, so he proceeds to quadruple text you.

Jungkook 8:44pm : are you seriously watching the notebook again?

You’re unlocking your phone the second it buzzes, smiling at the dimly lit screen before typing out a response.

Y/N 8:45pm : shut up, it’s my comfort movie

Y/N 8:45pm : do you wanna watch it with me? for old times sake

The device is locked and placed face down onto your sheets the second you hit send, sinking into the pillows once again as you try not to scream at yourself because you know he’ll hear you. Why would you invite him over when he clearly has company? You had seen her with your own eyes, had seen how cute she is, had seen how cute Jungkook is, it doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together.

Jungkook is quick though, texting back in agreement and heading over instantly. If you were watching your comfort movie then Jungkook wanted to make sure you were okay. Putting the past two weeks behind him, knowing you’d most likely have a good enough explanation—an explanation he would definitely be needing before the night was over—he’s knocking on your door before you can even check your messages.

It takes you a minute to untangle your limbs from your covers as you hastily try to get to your door, sock clad feet sliding along your wooden floors when you finally yank the door open. Jungkook wears a soft smile as he stares down at you, taking note that you had switched your outfit to your usual sad movie binge attire of baggy shirt and lounge shorts. His eyes zero in on your lips when he notices there's something lingering at the corner of them.

“So, are you gonna share whatever the hell that is?” His finger points at it smugly, laughing when your tongue peeks out to wipe it away.

“It was actually meant to be for you.” Stepping aside, you let him enter your place. Jungkook almost feels a little strange being here after the weird few weeks, but he pushes it aside, just wanting things to feel normal.

“Does that mean there’s no more left?” His eyes playfully narrow at you as you step closer, moving on to stare at the kitchen table, and the coffee table in search of the tub of ice cream that supposedly had his name on it. The earlier nerves you felt slowly fade away when you realize he’s not visibly upset about what happened, but it only makes your guilt deepen that despite your ability to be a crummy friend, Jungkook would still try his best to come through for you.

“There’s about half of it left, it’s probably a little soft now though.” You side step him to enter the kitchen, grabbing an extra spoon and handing it over as a peace treaty, smiling when he gratefully accepts it. “C’mon, I paused the movie.”

Jungkook is not a stranger to your bedroom, especially when sappy movies were playing, finding his spot easily on the right side where he typically handed you tissues whenever you cried. The tissues were missing this time, in place of them being the bag of snacks you had bought, his ice cream on the other nightstand.

“What part are you on?” he asks, settling onto the bed after fluffing up the pillows, waving his hands so you could pass the tub of ice cream his way.

“It just started raining on the boat.” Jungkook hums, scooping out some of the chocolate ice cream and into his mouth. He knew this scene very well, and when you press play, he mentally repeats all of the lines. Just as Noah declares he wrote her 365 letters, you awkwardly clear your throat, your own spoon slowly sneaking over to his side to steal some ice cream for yourself.

“I’m sorry if I made things awkward with your date.” Your voice sounds timid, something he’s not used to hearing from you at all, so he chuckles, laughing harder when you swat at his arm. “I’m serious, I should have texted you before just showing up.”

“Really? When have you ever done that before?” The two of you never notified the other when they wanted to show up, Jungkook had even given you the code to his place once when he was at work and you were desperate for some fruity pebbles—you used that code to your advantage and Jungkook never hated it. But all things considered, it's fair why you think you would have to give him a heads up.

“You didn’t make it awkward though.” It’s not the complete truth, you coming over is what had made Aillie decide to leave, but Jungkook had to take most of the credit for it. “I kinda made it awkward from the beginning.”

“Why, what happened?”

“I went out last night with Jimin“ —you immediately hum in understanding, knowing very well how convincing Jimin could be with alcohol— “and apparently I texted her to hang out today, had no recollection, so when she showed up I was definitely not ready.”

“Damn, this is how I know you’re a better person than I am. If that happened to me, the second I checked my peephole and saw someone I didn’t remember inviting over, I’m gonna pretend I’m not home.”

“Yeah well, she lives like an hour away so I’d feel like an ass if I did that. Don’t think I’ll be talking to her again any time soon though.” He sighs in thought, gently tapping his spoon on the surface of the softening ice cream. There was one thing weighing heavy on his mind, needing to know what important thing you had to talk to him about, wondering if you were actually going to friendship dump him earlier and he had just made it worse by coming over and hanging out like old times.

He doesn’t want to come right out and ask it though, not wanting to set himself up for an awkward conversation in case that wasn’t what you wanted to talk about, so he settles for something safe enough that would allow him to get a glimpse.

“So how are things with Hoseok?” Yeah, that’s a good start.

“Huh?” Your spoon freezes in its spot, face clearly looking confused in the dim glow of the television, the movie long forgotten now that you were speaking.

“Tinder guy? Yellow sunglasses guy that gave you mono?”

It suddenly clicks again, having forgotten all about Jung Hoseok the second you had gotten home from the failed date and came to terms with your feelings. Your lie of having a cold must have been believable enough for Jungkook to genuinely think he had given you something like mono.

“He didn’t give me mono!” Jungkook rolls his eyes with a playful smile, humming along like he totally believes you. “But I didn’t tell you?”

He frowns as he stares at you, not entirely sure how to take your tone. “Tell me what? That you’re engaged and the wedding is in June?”

“No way,” you laugh, swatting his spoon away with a clank as you grab some ice cream before shoving it in your mouth, fighting against the brain freeze to continue speaking. “Our date was a bust.”

“How? Was it that bad?” He desperately wanted to know, having convinced himself the date had gone spectacularly well and you were now an exclusive item. The small twinge of guilt is felt when he realizes he’s a little too happy that the date had been a failure, but he allows himself to have this small, tiny victory.

“Mm, it was so good it was bad.” He looks utterly confused, and you don’t blame him, so you elaborate. “He was this perfect gentleman who just wanted to play games, like to the point where he had a notebook where he was tallying our points, and then he walked me to my car and kissed my cheek goodbye.”

“Oh the horror!” Jungkook gasps, setting his spoon down to clutch his heart in dramatics. “How dare he try to romance you with a game night.”

“Jungkook, shut up!” you laugh, finally feeling like everything was right again, sitting in bed with your closest friend as you teased each other. “Look, I’ll give him some credit. The date was nice, he was not the sleazy douchebag his profile made him out to be, and I’m sure he’ll find the perfect girl for him on Tinder. But he clearly wanted something serious and—“

“And you don’t want that right now. It’s fair.” Of course you would turn him down, you had just decided to embark on this new adventure in the single world. It was kind of dumb for Jungkook to assume one date with Tinder Boy would be enough for you to give up your short lived dream.

You take a steady breath at his words before taking another scoop of ice cream, lips wrapped around the spoon as you slowly pull it out of your mouth. The nerves are trickling back in, making your heart skip and your eyes bounce around. If you don’t come out and say it now, you know you never will.

Your spoon joins his in the tub of ice cream before you decide to move it back to the nightstand, forcing yourself to look back at him, seeing him turned away as he rummages through the plastic bag full of snacks. “I don’t want that with him.”

Jungkook freezes, the rustling of plastic ceases as his hands come back to his sides and he turns back around. With him. He was the king of jumping to worse case scenarios so his brain has no issues coming to this very horrible conclusion.

“Have you been talking to Hajoon again?”

“No, Jungkook I haven’t.”

“Are you sure? I’m saying this now, but if you get back with him I will not hesitate to pop him in the face if I run into him in the halls. It’s fair game out there, neutral territory for him to get his ass beat—“

“It’s you.”

His brain short circuits at that, mini versions of himself currently running around and screaming in his head as he tries to make sense of this. The first instinct he has is to crack a joke, to say that he hadn’t been talking to Hajoon again, and laugh it off. But you look a little too vulnerable right now, eyes nervously looking at him and then looking away at his lingering silence.

“Wait, what?” It’s the only thing he can sputter out, caught off guard by your words, not wanting to say anything else in case the world was cruel enough for him to have completely misheard you.

“I don’t want that with Tinder Boy or Hajoon, I want it with you.” It gets a little easier saying it a second time, but his reaction is hard to gauge. You had been expecting him to reciprocate the confession instantly, but the longer he looked shocked only made you think that you and Seulgi had been seriously wrong about his supposed crush.

Jungkook is having a difficult time trying to go from you ghosting him to you suddenly admitting to liking him, the change in emotions not allowing him to say anything he had practiced in the mirror for so long. He can’t come out and give you a speech about how he thinks you’re the one, how you’re obviously a good match together, brain too focused on other details. “How long have you known this?”

“For the past two weeks, but deep down I know it’s been longer.”

His wide eyes glance over at you now, everything slowly clicking into place. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“Yes,” you mumble, embarrassed over the way you had acted. The last time you had avoided someone was in elementary school, having a best friend go ask your crush if he likes you while you hid in the bathroom, scared of the answer. “I like you Jungkook and I knew I wouldn’t be able to play it cool. I was scared to say something and have you not feel the same and then have our friendship be weird.”

Jungkook smiles in that adorable way you love, nose scrunching up cutely as he leans closer, large palms coming to cup your cheeks. He has wanted to hear this for so long, and sure, maybe it wasn’t some super romantic confession over a candlelit dinner like he had occasionally dreamed of, but this felt right.

“You’re so stupid,” he whispers out, thumb softly caressing your cheek as he chuckles, feeling the way your lips turn into a frown at his harmless insult.

“Jungkook, I’m being serious,” you whine, heart still pounding in your chest. Your hands come up to gently wrap around his wrists, allowing him to continue to squish your cheeks with that endearing look on his face.

“I’m being serious too Y/N. Did you really think I wouldn’t feel the same?” Jungkook did everything he did with you out of pure friendliness, never expecting to get something in return from it, but there was a small sprinkling of a crush in every one of his actions. “I like you too, and I have for a really long time.”

The relief you feel comes instantly, lips slowly pulling into a smile when you finally have the confidence to look directly into his eyes again. If this is how light you feel after the two weeks spent freaking out, you can only imagine how Jungkook feels. “Really?”

“Yes, really. Now, can I please kiss you?” You’re nodding the second the question leaves his mouth, eyes fluttering shut as his hands glide down to cup your jaw, soft lips slowly pressing against yours. It’s a gentle smack of skin as he pulls back, a smirk on his lips when he opens his eyes, softly rubbing his nose against yours.

“Wait,” he breathes out, chuckling softly. “Is he still looking?” He has the nerve to repeat the same question that had been the root of your guilt, and when your eyes shoot open and glare at him, he can’t stop the laughter that bubbles out.

“I hate you,” you mutter out, not an ounce of truth behind it.

“Mm, no you don’t.”

His lips find yours again, falling into a steady rhythm, softer and less rushed than the first kiss you had shared at the club. There’s no pounding bass in the background, or the taste of liquor on your lips, but Jungkook prefers it this way. He likes the low hum of the movie continuing to play in the background, the sweetness of the ice cream lingering on your lips when his tongue gently swipes at the seam of them, the way your hands slowly slide around his neck as he deepens each kiss.

With each shared breath, you slide further down your bed, pulling Jungkook down with you until he’s hovering directly above you. His knees dig into the sheets, one hand pressed beside your head to keep himself stable as you urge him even closer to you. The delicate golden chain he wears kisses your skin, pendant settling onto your chest, the cool sensation is almost enough to distract you as his tongue slowly slips into your mouth. Jungkook groans when you let out a small gasp, your fingers slipping into his hair and tugging gently at the strands by the nape of his neck.

He wants to remember this kiss instead of the one from the club, embed every gasp you let out into his brain, the way your chest pushes up to feel more of him, how your hands slide down his back, leaving a fiery trail in their path that makes Jungkook shiver. And when you slide your thighs further apart for him, innocently at first, he can’t help it when his lips freeze on yours as you slowly roll your hips upwards. It gives him the same automatic reaction he had gotten at the club, all the blood rushing to his cock instantly, except this time he doesn’t feel the shame he had felt before. There was no ulterior motive to what you were doing, sincerity shown in your confession, shared within each kiss, so Jungkook allows himself to bask in the want he feels for you.

“Y/N,” he groans out when you repeat the action, pulling away from your swollen lips to stare at you through hooded eyes. You’re licking your lips over as your eyes slowly open, a small glimmer evident in them as you tilt your head and pretend to not know what you’re doing.

“What?” you question, leaning up to kiss the edge of his mouth, giggling when he attempts to chase your lips as you pull back, choosing to kiss down his jaw instead. As your tongue gently trails along the side of his neck, you feel the harsh gulp he takes, his fingers bunching up in the sheets beside your head. His neck has always been a weak point for him, turning him into a puddle in seconds, you knew this from the unfiltered conversations you’ve had and it was something you were definitely going to be using to your advantage.

“You’re doing this on purpose,” he grunts, eyes fluttering shut as you nip at his skin, a visible shiver racking through him.

“Of course I am,” you hum, letting your hands roam his back, sliding around his front until you’re sneaking past the white fabric of his shirt. When your cool hands meet his skin, he tenses, the muscles on his stomach tightening up as your fingertips trail up his body. You’ve known Jungkook was well defined, lean and toned in all the best places, having seen him shirtless a few times. But being able to touch him like this, feel each stuttered breath and jump of his skin reacting to your touch fueled you.

Jungkook knows you can feel the racing of his heart now, your palms flat on his chest, each thrum revealing his emotions despite the cool and calm exterior he was trying to have. His hips lower towards yours, resisting the urge to rut into you as you start to suck on his skin. The low hum you let out vibrates against his neck, mixed in with the feeling of your wet lips, and he knows he’s done for. The final blow comes in the form of you swiping your tongue at the blossomed hickey, sweet voice pulling him back to earth as you look at him once more. “I want you Jungkook.”

Oh god, he couldn’t do this. His face pulls into a grimace, begging himself to not instantly cum in his pants at what you just said. How many times has he fantasized about this? Hoped you’d beg him for anything in that same exact voice, dreamed of you kissing and sucking on his skin like you currently were. Jungkook isn’t sure any amount of mental preparation would be enough for this.

“Say that again please.”

You giggle, finger pushing back a strand of his hair as it falls over his face, tucking it behind his ear. The normal doe eyed look you were accustomed to is nowhere to be found, pupils blown out in lust as he stares at you. Being on the receiving end of this stare fills your stomach with butterflies, the flapping of their wings intensifying as he nudges his nose into yours.

“I want you.” It’s breathless, spoken so softly through the background noise like a personal secret just for him. Jungkook doesn’t think he’ll ever grow tired of hearing you say it, that much is proven true when you repeat it in between kisses, trailing back up his neck in the same path you had taken until you're speaking the words directly against his lips. He swallows them down greedily, groaning into your mouth when his tongue tangles with yours once more.

“Fuck, you can have me baby.” He chuckles against your mouth when you start to tug at his shirt, yanking the thin material until he has to pull back and slip the tee off himself. The balled fabric gets tossed aside without a care, dark swirls of ink on his arm fully revealed now, each tattoo reminding you of how long you’ve known him, remembering the two pieces that he had when you first met. When he leans back over you, taking his time trailing kisses down your neck, onto your chest until his own hands are slowly tugging your shirt off of you, you decide there’s other things to focus on besides his glorious tattoos.

“Ah, Jungkook,” you sigh, fingers tangling into his hair when he kisses the swells of your breast, warm tongue sliding over your nipple before his lips are wrapping around it. His large palm gropes the other, thumb flicking over the pebbled bud, smirking when you push your chest further out for him.

“What baby?” He pulls back to blow a gust of cool air on your nipple, the wetness of his saliva making your skin break out into goosebumps.

“No teasing.”

Jungkook’s laughing now, eyes peering up at you through his lashes. “Oh, you think I’m not gonna tease you after what you did?” He tsks in disapproval as he continues to kiss down your torso, letting his hands trail down your sides, not stopping until he reaches the hem of your shorts. A kiss is placed above your navel as he pulls the shorts down your legs, toying with the waistband of your black underwear. “I’m gonna take my time with you.”

The build up before pleasure will always be your favorite part. The way his hands grip your thighs after tugging your underwear off, fingertips trailing up until his palm is pressing them further apart. It’s impossible to look at him now, the visual of his long hair framing his face as he starts to press wet kisses on your skin is too much to handle. You can feel the warm huff of air when he laughs as your head drops back onto the pillow once more, eyes slipping shut while you wait with anticipation.

Jungkook wants to comment over how wet you are already, boost his own ego about being able to rile you up with just kissing, but he can see the way you’re already on edge, and he decides he can tease you some more later with what he has in store. Instead, he gives you what you’re mentally pleading him for. Finally pressing his soft lips to your folds, the short gasp you release as his tongue glides up before gently flicking across your clit has him shutting his own eyes, reveling in the way you react to his touch.

His long fingers spread out your folds before he’s messily spitting onto them, watching the way the glob of saliva trickles down before he’s diving in, falling into the perfect pace with ease. It has your hips rutting up instantly, your hand uncurling its grip from your sheets to travel down your body and find its place tangled in his hair. Jungkook groans against your clit when your fingers grip tightly, yanking the dark strands as the prettiest moan flows out of you.

“J-just like that, fuck,” you whimper, finally lifting your head up to stare down at him when he latches his lips around your clit and sucks. It sends a spark down your spine, stomach tensing at his rhythm, fully intent to have you fall apart.

Jungkook wants to push you over the edge, knows he’s talented enough to get you there in record time—he was cocky in the best way—and the way your thighs tremble as he slowly sinks his finger into you proves his point. The slick coating your entrance allows a second finger to slip through with little resistance, a shuddering breath filling the air as he begins to spread his fingers apart, stretching you out in the most delicious way.

It’s not until his fingers curl up, rubbing along the sweet patch inside of you and you moan out his name, that he realizes he has you right where he wants you. He can’t get himself to look up at you, to see the way your jaw drops as you plead for more. Jungkook knows if his eyes lock with yours too soon he’ll be too weak to be as cruel as he wants to be.

The pleasure blooms inside you, hips rolling up into his in a way he welcomes, smirk spreading onto his lips when your moans get breathier. He eats you out with determination set in his brows, not satisfied until you’re tightening around his fingers, thighs threatening to close in on either side of his head. The messy way he slurps against you sends you reeling, rutting up into him with need, the wet thump of his fingers blending in with your moans of his name.

“God, Jungkook, I’m gonna cum.” He believes you, eyes finally opening up to stare at you. The visual is enough to make his cock throb in his pants, your glassy eyed stare locked onto his, chest rising and falling in time with each choked breath. When he playfully winks at you, your walls pulse around him, seconds away from being pushed over the edge, and that’s when he pulls away.

The warm glow of your orgasm approaching, just about to crest, gets ripped away from you instantly. It makes you gasp, thighs twitching as your hips attempt to push up back towards his mouth, but he’s having none of that. His shiny lips smile up at you innocently, head tilted to slowly kiss your trembling thighs, chuckling at the small cry of frustration you let out.

“You taste good baby,” he hums, smooching the skin at the juncture of your thighs, circling around your clit without relieving the pressure you felt. The dull ache has your fingers releasing his hair in defeat, a frown etched onto your lips.

“Jungkook, that’s mean,” you pant, sitting up and resting on your elbows to properly stare at him.

“A little, but you deserved it don’t you think?” Jungkook didn’t want to tease you too much, he just wanted to get even for the past two weeks. “You could have had me between your thighs every single night if you would’ve said something soon, so I think you can be patient.”

A firm kiss is pressed to your swollen clit and it makes your whole body shudder, your head dropping back as you take a deep breath to control yourself. “I can’t be patient Kook,” you whine, head leveling back out to give him the most convincing stare you can muster. There's that crease between your brows that he likes when you pinch them together, hands gently raking through his hair, teeth pillowing out your lower lip as you bite down onto it.

“Please, you can torture me later if you want but not now.” Your words have him cocking up his brow, hands once again gripping the meat of your thighs before he crawls back up your body. The feeling of his chain dragging up your skin has you shivering, breath catching in your throat when he hovers inches above you once more.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth before his hand slips between your thighs again. A groan reaches his ears as his fingers circle your clit, covered in your arousal and his saliva, gliding with ease as he works you back to your ruined orgasm.

His lips find yours, swallowing down the moan you let out when he quickens his pace. You can taste yourself on his tongue, tangling with yours with more urgency than before, messy and desperate in a way that had more arousal gushing out of you. The earlier pleasure reignites inside you, your hands sliding around his neck to keep him close, kissing him with fervor, quiet moans and whimpers slipping past between each smack of your lips.

“Jungkook,” you barely manage to squeal, a few more flicks needed to finally push you over the edge. Your lips are slick with spit as you pull back, jaw slack as you lose yourself in the feeling, and Jungkook easily bookmarks this into his brain to go back to and daydream of whenever he’s bored at work. Your eyes are squeezed shut as the feeling flows through you, not able to see how Jungkook stares at you in awe.

“Holy shit,” he whispers, slowly pulling his hand away when you keen at the sensitivity, thighs twitching on the sheets as the pleasure rolls through you in waves. You’re looking up just in time to see him slip his messy fingers into his mouth, tongue licking them clean and savoring the taste of you. Just as he slides them back out, your fingers wrap around his wrist and lead them directly into your mouth, sinking onto them with your eyes locked on his own.

Jungkook’s cock jumps in its confines when you suck, tip of your tongue circling his fingertips before popping them back out with a smirk. There’s a brief moment of shock on his features before he’s jumping into action, quickly unbuttoning his jeans in haste that left you giggling on your sheets.

“What happened to patience?” you tease, laughing harder when he pauses with one foot stuck in the hole of his jeans, a playful glare thrown your way.

“Oh, now you want patience?” He kicks his pants the rest of the way off, slowly shuffling towards you as he stands beside the bed in just his boxers. Your hands make grabby motions for him, reaching for the waistband of his underwear to tug them down, licking your lips over as his cock springs out. It bobs in the air for a second, thick and heavy, precum collecting at the tip with the prettiest veins on the underside of it. Of course Jungkook and his pretty privilege would have a dick worthy of leaving you speechless.

Jungkook allows you to ogle at him, confidently wrapping his palm around the base of his cock, hissing slightly at the sensation as he looks down at it, allowing spit to accumulate behind his lips before a string of it escapes and lands right onto his length to help the glide of his palm. Your eyes widen at the sight, hand replacing his as he guides your motions, giving an experimental squeeze and enjoying how his abs tense up.

“I’ve been patient for a long time Y/N. You said you want me right?” You’re nodding instantly, eyes looking away from his shiny length to stare up at him. “How do you want me?”

“Jungkook, just get over here.” He doesn’t resist when you let go of his cock, hands gripping his arm to yank him back onto the bed in a clumsy heap. His legs are a tangled mess, nearly ramming his forehead with yours from the force, shared laughter filling the air as you situate yourself. Jungkook had pictured this a thousand times and this is exactly how he imagined it, full of soft kisses, hushed laughter and goofy smiles, playfulness mixed in with lust all coming together perfectly to make the two of you.

As he settles between your thighs, your sodden folds inches from his length, you can see the look on his face as his eyes glance in between both of your nightstands. Already knowing the question that was about to spill out, you beat him to the punch. “You don’t need one, if you don’t want to. I’m on birth control, and haven’t been with anyone since…” you trail off, not needing to specify.

Jungkook tries not to look too excited, really, but it’s hard. Every one of his lewd fantasies had involved being able to feel you entirely, and if your thoughts from that night were anything to go by, you definitely want the same. It takes him a second to speak, having to swallow properly to prevent himself from choking on his saliva and embarrassing himself in front of you. “I’m clean, I promise.”

“I trust you,” you smile, biting down onto your bottom lip as he fists his cock, slowly leading it to your dripping center. His free hand rests on your inner thigh, softly palming the skin as the head of his cock nudges against your entrance, pushing past the tight ring of muscles and into your heat. With his gaze locked down to where you connect, he sees inch by inch sink into you, finally bottoming out with a shared gasp.

Jungkook leans over you properly now, hand sliding up to lace with yours as the other rests beside your head, just taking a moment to enjoy the feeling of your velvety walls wrapped tightly around his cock. You welcome the stretch, the curve of his length inside you, how he cages you in with his body, eyes full of want staring directly at you, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze because he knows he can’t properly form a sentence right now.

“Fuck me, please.” With his hips pressed flush against yours, he’s slowly inching back, letting you get used to his size with each thrust. It doesn’t take long before he’s rearing back entirely, thrusting forward with a wet squelch, corner of his lips curling up into a smirk when you moan out his name. Your hand curls around his shoulder, fingers digging into his back to keep yourself steady from the force of his hips.

Each time the head of his cock would nudge against your bundle of nerves, your nails would sink into his skin, leaving half moon indents that left him groaning in pleasure. Jungkook hadn’t outright told you, but it had become increasingly obvious that he has a slight kink for pain, practically mewling above you as you scratch his back, fucking you with more determination than before.

“You feel so good,” he rasps, slotting his lips with yours in a messy kiss. The back of your headboard starts to rattle against the wall, bouncing back in time with his hips, and it brings you back to the filthy thoughts you had before. How often you’d hear the same sounds on the opposite side, mixing in with the sharpness of skin connecting together, and you want it. So badly.

“J-jungkook,” you breathe out, letting him pepper more kisses onto you, hips never slowing down. “Can you do something for me?” The tone you use, coated in sugar so sweet he couldn’t say no even if he wanted to.

“Anything.”

It’s hard to concentrate on anything else while his cock continues to fuck into you, turning your mind into mush each time he sunk all the way in. He can see the way you try to focus, eyes falling shut with the cutest pout on your kiss swollen lips, finally grabbing onto the reigns of your mind as you spit it out. “Wanna feel you—fuck—spank me, please.”

Only then do his hips slow down, cock throbbing inside of you, fighting the urge to cum before fulfilling your request. The only confirmation that he was agreeing, wholeheartedly, comes when he pulls out of you, moving too quickly for you to protest at the loss of contact. The room spins for a second as his hands grip onto your hips and flip you over with ease, palms gripping the globes of your ass and softly patting them with a chuckle.

“Of course baby,” he murmurs, hooking his arm underneath your stomach to haul you up onto your knees, allowing you to steady yourself before he’s sliding into you once again. The change in position has you keening, his cock sinking deeper than before, the wetness dripping out of you helping him maintain the earlier pace he had. Your hands fist the sheets beneath you, back arching in ecstasy as he hits your g-spot with precision, a tiny shriek of his name making him smile.

Jungkook keeps you on edge, strong hands gripping the skin of your hips tightly, mouth dropping open while he pants at the way you pulse around his cock, leaving it coated in your slick. His hand slides down to your ass, a gentle touch being your only warning before he’s pulling his hand back and delivering a swift slap to your skin. Your reaction is immediate, an unrestrained moan sounding like music to his ears. The sharp sting spreads directly to your core, your head bowing forward as you mentally beg him for more, your wish being granted seconds later when he repeats it on the other side.

If the wet sounds of his cock fucking you weren’t filthy enough, the added slap of his palm across your ass definitely topped it off. Jungkook had never seen you so needy, thighs coated in your arousal, gushing around him each time he spanked you until you were creaming his cock. The greedy way your walls suck him in, wanting him closer, deeper than ever, left him mesmerized.

His hand soothes the dull throb on your skin, a trembling breath reaching his ears as he leans over your back, lips kissing up your spine up until reaching your shoulder. Hot pants of breath hit your skin, making you shiver as his lips trail along the edge of your ear. “Feel good?”

“Y-yes,” you mewl, voice trembling from the pleasure, rutting your hips in time with his.

Jungkook’s way of love was a breath of fresh air for you, rough enough to exhilarate you, the force of his hips leaving you scrambling for purchase to prevent you from face planting onto the sheets, gripping onto your hair and tugging it back with enough force to make your body tingle. But it was intertwined with adoration, sweet praise whispered into your ear, lacing his fingers with yours to let you feel secure.

“You’re never getting rid of me baby,” he groans out. The low rasp in his voice makes you tremble, neck straining from his grip in your hair but the burn feels too good to pull away. His small confession has your heart skipping, eyes slipping shut to bask in the overwhelming feeling surrounding you.

“Good,” you manage to pant, “would never dream of it.” After four years of friendship, the beginning stages of getting to know each other, figuring out the right ways to flow with your different personalities, it's all out of the way now, so it’s incredibly easy for you to picture a steady future with him. The breakfast gossiping, shameless club outings, chaotic game nights with snacks thrown at each other, you want everything you already have with him and more. What you have, so rooted in sincerity, built off mutual respect for each other, blossoming into love so pure, you can’t imagine having this with anyone else.

“Y/N,” he gasps, the pulsing of your walls bringing him closer to his climax. “I’m close.”

You can only hum in agreement, burying your face into your pillow when he releases the grip he has in your hair, nipples rubbing against the sheets in time with his thrusts, the sensitivity sending sparks throughout you. Both his hands grip your hips again, dimpling the skin as he quickens his pace, the tantalizing roll of his hips intent to send you over before him. His eyes trail over the curve of your back, how you arch it further to feel more of him, sliding down to your ass, seeing the way it bounces back with each snap of his hips, how you weakly rut back onto him, pussy clamping around his length as your orgasm approached.

Jungkook slides his hand around you, trailing across your tummy before slipping between your thighs to the spot you needed him most. Even with your face buried in the sheets, the moan you let out is loud enough for Jungkook to hear perfectly, body shuddering as he flicks across your clit in tight circles.

“Kook, I’m cumming—fuck,” you shout out, white heat enveloping your body as you get sent over the edge. Your mind blanks for a minute, the intensity of your orgasm crashing over you so suddenly, making your limbs tense up while every nerve ending lights up. The only thing you can think of is him, chanting out your name while you pulse around him, sweet words coaxing you through your high, thumb rubbing along the skin of your hips as he never slows his pace.

As he fucks you through it, groaning out at how tight your walls are around him, you have to turn your head to gasp in a breath, face feeling hot from it all. You can feel how sweaty your skin has become, the back of your neck feeling sticky as your turn to get a glimpse of him, body still shuddering from the aftershocks.

Jungkook doesn’t have a care for his own volume now, moaning unabashedly as he pistons his hips into you with less grace than before. The soft mewls of overstimulation you let out just bring him closer to his release, thrusts getting sloppier as the pleasure takes over him.

“Fuck, baby-” he grunts out, mouth dropping open as he moans even louder, finally falling apart. He pushes further into you, head falling forward as his hips press flushed against your ass, warm spurts of his cum filling you up in a way that fulfills your dirtiest fantasies. A few more shallow thrusts has the two of you gasping, hearts pounding in your chests, coming down slowly as he finally stills.

A serene silence falls over you, the movie long turned off in the background, only the low glow of the television letting you know it was still on. With great hesitation, Jungkook finally pulls out of you, gulping when he sees the thick globs of cum spill from your core, dripping down your thighs before landing on the sheets in a sinful mess. Your sheets are well and truly ruined, Jungkook would honestly suggest tossing them in the trash judging by the damp spot directly beneath you.

With a small groan, you’re flopping fully onto your stomach, thighs no longer able to keep yourself up, the exhaustion creeping up on you. Jungkook chuckles when he hears you, soothing your back with a gentle massage. “You’re not sleeping in here babe.”

“Why not,” you slur, cheek pressed against your pillow, eyes already shut. All you wanted to do was lay here, preferably with his arms wrapped around you, but Jungkook clearly has other plans.

“Because it’s disgusting,” he laughs, giving you a few more seconds of rest before he’s moving around. The dip in the bed lets you know he’s gotten off, one eye peeking open to search for him, seeing him gathering his belongings from the floor.

“Where are you going?”

He shimmies back into his clothes with a grimace, gathering your own items before approaching you once more. “We are going next door and sleeping in my totally clean bed, c’mon.”

You only put up a fight for a second, secretly enjoying the way he helps you get dressed in your earlier clothes, heart swelling in your chest at how domestic it all feels. The mess in your room would have to be dealt with another day, the only important item being the ice cream that finds its way back into the freezer as you both head out of your apartment and swiftly enter his next door.

He’s just as delicate and careful in the shower, taking turns cleaning each other, large hands gripping your ass and giggling like a child when you wince at the small throb of pain you feel. Soft kisses are shared under the showerhead, warm water soothing your body as the room fogs up, sweet confessions scribbled on the glass in his messy writing, topped off with a heart. Jungkook stops you before you can wipe it away, shyly telling you that he’d like to see it reappear the next time he showers.

His bedroom was one you weren’t too familiar with, used to lounging in his living room the most, so as he settles into his bed after getting cozy in his pajamas, you wait for him to call you over before joining him. The coolness of his sheets has you sighing, snuggling into his side with a smile on your lips, one that Jungkook sees as he stares down at you before pressing a kiss to your forehead. Seeing you draped in his clothes, cuddled up beside him in a way you’ve never done before, makes him feel like a giddy teenager.

“Can I be honest?” he wonders, arm wrapping around you to pull you even closer to him. When you hum in confirmation, he laughs sheepishly. “I thought you were going to friendship dump me today.”

“What, why?”

Your head bobs up as he shrugs his shoulders. “The way you were acting reminded me of the last time you told me you wanted to focus on your relationship. I was just scared I was going to lose you again.”

The tone he uses makes your heart ache, the same guilt you felt these past few days coming back when you put yourself in his shoes. You had no idea that the way you were acting would affect him this way, never once imagining that he thought you would cut off this friendship while you were just coming to terms with the fact that you harbored strong feelings for him.

“Jungkook, I’m sorry,” you sigh, palm resting on his chest, feeling each beat of his heart, no longer racing like before, confident and steady in it’s pace because he knows you’re not going anywhere. “I’m stupid, and freaked out after what I did, and just needed to gather my thoughts before saying anything.”

He cranes his head away from you, a confused look on his face. “After what you did? What did you do?”

Fuck.

“Uhm,” you start with a strained laugh, refusing to look up at him out of embarrassment, but the truth has to come out so you power through it. “So, the night of the date, I sort of got home earlier than I told you I did.”

His eyes narrow at you, refusing to give anything away before he knew where this was going. “Okay, go on.”

“And I sort of heard you through the walls.” You look up at him now, your guilty stare spelling it out for him. His eyes widen before he can conceal his surprise, cheeks warming up instantly because oh boy, he knew exactly where this was going. “And then, I sort of...joined.”

“You lied to me!” he shouts, shocked smile on his face as he recalls the way you had replied to his texts, telling him you had just gotten home and going the extra mile to say you were in a totally different room when in reality, you were sprawled out in your bed after just getting off to the sound of him.

Filthy. And also kind of hot. Jungkook was definitely into that, something he’ll totally proposition you into doing again because why not.

“I know! I couldn’t help it, it was so hot, and I felt so guilty. But, you’re technically the reason why my orgasm gave me my epiphany and let me realize I really do like you. So, I think I did us both a favor by being a dirty liar.” He’s laughing instantly, fingers gripping your cheeks to turn your head up, planting a firm kiss onto your lips obnoxiously.

“Alright, you’re forgiven. Plus, consider us even because I have definitely heard you getting off on your own plenty of times too.” A squeal of surprise fills the air as you swat at his chest, burying your face into his shirt and feeling the rumble of his laughter. It really wasn’t ever intentional. The walls are thin, you weren’t exactly quiet, and he couldn’t just lay there and ignore it. So call him an opportunist, or a pervert, because you were one too.

Jungkook is cheeky though, knowing how to get under your skin in the best way, and you can already tell you’re in for a ride when he gets close to your ear and whispers, “You wanna show me how you did it?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you snort, peering up at him with mischief in your eyes.

“You did say I could torture you later.” He smiles innocently, fingers pinching your chin as he kisses you again. “It’s later.”

The sweet laughter that escapes you makes his heart skip a beat, still not able to come to terms that this was happening and wasn’t some dream of his that he’d wake up from. He kisses the tops of your cheeks first, then your nose, before reaching your lips, his hand gently caressing your skin. Jungkook had no intention of torturing you tonight, knowing how tired you typically were after work on a normal day, and after drawing two orgasms out of you that left you shaking, he knows how close you are to sleep with the way your eyes droop.

“Aren’t you glad you didn’t give up on crushes and love?” he mumbles against your lips, inching back to stare down at you.

“I’m glad I stopped looking for it in the wrong places.” Your hands wrap around his neck, toying with his hair before pulling him back to you, reattaching your lips because you just couldn’t seem to get enough of him.

Every single moment you shared, from moving in and awkwardly trying to get to know each other, the ups and downs of failed relationships, the push that started it all at the club, and every almost moment in between brought you full circle to right now. There probably won’t be a moment where you don’t wish you had done this sooner, worked past your worry of ruining a good friendship in fear of what could happen, but the past helped mold you into who you are, strengthening your relationship to be the way it is now.

Right now had you thinking of the future, and there was nothing more exciting than that.

#jungkook smut #heartsforbts #btswritingcafe #btsghostie #bangtansorciere #bangtaninn #btscreatorscorner #jeongguk smut #jeon jungkook #bts smut #jungkook fluff #new

3K notes · View notes

separatist-apologist · 3 years ago

Text

Lucien Vanserra + The Villain Theory & Why the Mating Bond Is Not Fake

I've been thinking about this for a while and I've decided I want to debunk this because of all the *insert character that is definitely not the villain becoming a secret villain*, Lucien is most definitely not it.

The theory, according to tiktok, is that Lucien is a secret schemer who has tricked everyone, including Elain, into believing they are mates for undefined, suspicious reasons likely related to Koschei. I find this unlikely considering his "father" is ALSO scheming with Koschei and Lucien likely has some awareness of this considering how often Eris is suddenly hanging around.

This is so long. Everything is under the cut.

However, lets pretend he doesn't. There is consistent, contextual proof that Lucien a) could not make up a mating bond even if he wanted to and b) everyone would know if he had.

Starting in ACOTAR, Tamlin tells Feyre the story of Lucien. On page 160, Tamlin says:

"Lucien said he didn't care she wasn't one of the High Fae, that he was certain the mating bond would snap soon and that he was going to marry her and leave his father's court to his scheming brothers."

Followed up on page 161, Tamlin adds:

"...his father has never apologized and his brothers are too frightened of me to risk harming him. But he has never forgotten what they did to her...even if he pretends he has."

That's ACOTAR. I know SJM likes to change things on a whim, but foundationally, this is Lucien's character and across all five books, it never changes. Lucien is still haunted by Jesminda and the mating bond he lost. He firmly believes, if we believe Tamlin to be a reliable narrator (and we should, as Lucien backs Tamlin's opinion up in his private thoughts. It is also worth noting that if Lucien has a villain origin story, it begins right here, the moment his father beheads Jesminda. To assume he's the villain, we ought to believe that he's been scheming non-stop for at least 200 years (since he's like, 300ish?) and to what end? To kill Beron? He'd have been scheming far longer than Elain was alive.

Moving right along to ACOMAF, on page 619, Amren says:

"And the bond," Amren breathed, Cassian's blood shining on her hands as she slowed its dribbling.

Mor said, "She asked the king to break the bond. He obliged."

I thought I might be dying- thought my chest might actually be cleaved in two.

"Thats impossible," Amren said. "That sort of bond cannot be broken."

"The kind said he could do it."

"The king is a fool," Amren barked. "That sort of bond cannot be broken."

"No, it can't," I said.

This is from Rhys' perspective. A mating bond can't be broken with magic- it's forever. Even rejected or in death (we'll get there), the mating bond is for life. Assuming Lucien's mate was Jesminda, even if it hadn't snapped in death, she would STILL be his mate and death would not have changed that. Neither would any magic Lucien, a spell-cleaver, might possess.

Let's also consider Elain, who has no reason to lie and every reason to call Lucien out regarding the bond. In ACOMAF, page 608, we see this:

"...Elain was staring over Nesta's shoulder. At Lucien-whose face she had finally taken in. Dark brown eyes met one of russet and one of metal. Nesta was still weeping, still raging, still inspecting Elain-

Lucien's hands slackened at his sides. His voice broke as he whispered to Elain, "You're my mate."

It's Elain who sees him first, who feels the mating bond mere seconds before Lucien. Why choose Elain, if you're going to pick a fake mate for your scheme? The argument is generally that she has the least amount of knowledge about Faeries and no interest in that education but how would Lucien know that? Feyre told Lucien nothing about her sisters (she told Ianthe instead), which means he would have had to guess. Given that Elain fights being put in the Cauldron, there's nothing contextually in that moment that suggests that Lucien somehow knew she was the easier sister to fool.

It's also worth noting that Lucien, up until that moment, still genuinely believes Jesminda was his mate. If he's the villain, having a fake mate makes no sense to the story or his plans.

Feyre has been inside Lucien's mind twice. Once in ACOMAF (pg. 95):

"Thoughts slammed into me, images and memories, a pattern of thinking and feeling that was old, and clever, and sad, so endlessly sad and guilt-ridden, hopeless-"

And again in ACOWAR when Lucien meets Elain for the first time. On page 249, we get the best description of what Lucien is feeling regarding the mating bond, all through Feyre's perspective:

"Too thin. She must not be eating at all. How can she even stand?

The thoughts flowed through his head, one after another. His heart was a raging, thunderous beat, and he didn't dare move from his position a mere five feet away. She hadn't yet turned toward him, but the ravages of her fasting were evident enough.

Touch her, smell her, taste her-

The instincts were running a river. he fisted his hands at his sides."

"But there she was. His mate. She was nothing like Jesminda."

"Elain had been...thrown at him."

"That circle of people who now claimed to be Feyre's new family...It was what, long ago, he'd once thought life at Tamlin's court would be. An ache like a blow to the chest went through him, but he crossed the rug."

"But he couldn't breathe as she faced him fully. She was the most beautiful female he'd ever seen. Betrayal, queasy and oily, slid through his veins. He'd said the same to Jesminda once. But even as shame washed through him, the words, the senses chanted, Mine. You are mine, and I am yours."

"She looked away- towards the windows. 'I can hear your heart,' she said quietly. He wasn't sure how to respond, so he said nothing and drained his tea even as it burned his mouth.

'When I sleep,' she murmured, 'I can hear your heart beating through the stone.' She angled her head, as if the city view held some answer. 'Can you hear mine?'

He wasn't sure if she truly meant to address him, but he said, 'No, lady. I cannot.'"

These are Lucien's thoughts from Feyre's perspective. He has no idea she's in his head, so why is he thinking all those things? Why feel guilt that he finds her beautiful or that he'd once said all the same things to Jesminda that he thinks about Elain? Why care about her well-being? We know mates are driven to protect and Lucien's very first thoughts about Elain are ones of concern. She's not eating, she's too thin, how can she possibly stand? Not, hahaah my evil planned worked and I totally have an in with the Night Court (which, why would he need considering Tamlin is currently allied with Hybern and Lucien could have taken full advantage of that?).

Additionally, assuming Lucien is faking the mating bond for some poorly defined, evil plot, why keep such distance? Why not force himself on her? That's the claim, right? That he's forcing her to be with him which is amusing because in ACOFAS, Lucien has some thoughts on page 162"

"'How is she?'

'Better. She makes no mention of her abilities. If they remain.'

'Good. But is she still...' A muscle flickered in his jaw. 'Does she still mourn him?'"

First question he asks. "How is she?" Followed by if she's still in love with her ex-fiance. And I can hear the screaming now, "HE ASKED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO OWN HER" but like, on page 165 of ACOFAS, we get:

"I can't stand to be in the same room as her for more than two minutes."

Truly a stupid plan to fake a mating bond with a person that is causing you to be eaten alive with guilt and longing. We know the second he's around her, Lucien's is overwhelmed with the mating instincts and feels guilt over Jesminda, which is why he spends little time around Elain. He also tells Feyre, on that same page, he doesn't want his life to be financed by Rhysand. Feyre practically begs Lucien to move back to Velaris, to work for her full time, to let her set him up somewhere nicer and Lucien declines it all. If his plan hinged on getting closer to the IC, to using Rhys' resources, why tell her no? Why not take her up on it? Why not make him part of her life in a much more tangible way?

And finally, the dreaded scent of the mating bond. Feyre doesn't risk talking to Rhys when she's in Spring for fear of alerting everyone to the scent of the bond. Azriel, too, cannot stand the smell of it to the point he stands in the doorway during solstice rather than come in.

Ladies, Gentleman, and Non-binary pals of the jury, examine the evidence. For Lucien to be a villain, he has to KNOW that Feyre is a daemati before she does and both leave his thoughts unguarded while constantly assuming she MIGHT be picking through them. He also has to be able to control large amounts of people at the same time via the smell of the bond and Elain being able to feel it. When he tugs, she responds.

It would require everyone around them to be incredibly dumb. Feyre and Rhys basically share a mind and while they don't necessarily trust Lucien (unfairly imo), I firmly believe one of them would have picked up on a fake bond or Lucien's scheming.

Lucien wanted Jesminda, not Elain. If he decided to punish the world around him for the consistent pain he was enduring, he doesn't need Elain to achieve this. He's friends with Feyre. He has contacts all over Prythian. He didn't need to fake a mating bond, nor does it make any sense to do so. What they have is REAL.

And lastly, the bond can't be broken. Rejected, yes, broken no. Regardless if you think they'll keep it or not, they ARE mates and Lucien is NOT the villain who will be heroically slaughtered. They're awkward, they're uncomfortable, they have shit to work out but they ARE mates, and Lucien has proven over and over that all he wants is a home and goddamn peace and quiet.

#lucien vanserra #lucien vanserra meta #anti e*riel #antiv*ssien #anti el/riel #anti v/ssien #theories that are just not based in reality #but are probably interesting twists in a fanfic i wouldn't read

198 notes · View notes

hermesparis · 2 years ago

Note

what fics r u writing ?? also any good sk8 or leopika recs while we’re at it tee hee

hiii! at the moment i am sprinting (literally, i am so sorry for those in the daddy leorio server who have to deal with my constant use of sprinto) to finish my bb fic, which... i can't reveal too much about, but know that it is leopika (of course) 💖

after this week i will be going back to continuing my hannibal hisoillu au 👅 which only has 1 chapter so far but i'm hoping to write a lil faster. but like an extra hour of my day is gonna go to commuting from monday and an extra 38401274 hours is gonna go to cuddling my husky of a bf when we are reunited on monday sooo

sk8 recs omg 😍 i havent read loads yet but:

this renga 'sharing a bed' one was such a great premise i 👀

the gambler (matchablossom) is the BEST fake dating fic i have ever read

(the first time) he kissed a boy (renga) is obviously exceptional. i read this in 2 hours

reki's totally real canadian boyfriend is hilarious

and i think thats it sorrryyy

leopika though...oh my

hunter's moon is an exceptional supernatural romance au

here everyone knows you're the way to my heart is incredible, it's not finished but like... i have brainrot for it anyway

a thousand miles wandering is amazing

and the same author's spring haze is, while incomplete, what started my love for fairy tale type aus and trans leorio back in fuckin' 2015

and finally i have brainrot like you Would Not Imagine for blood in the water (merperson kurapika au)

sorry it's not an exhaustive list <3 there are sooooo many amazing leopika fics out there we are so blessed

#<3

18 notes · View notes

cosmiclatte28 · 3 years ago

Text

minors do not read (heavy rage, more sinful than smut) not a fanfic (please, its really me raging like the world is ending. its embarrassing but it kinda calms me down 1%)

When I decided to stand up, dust myself off, and take another step... life just directly throw a big ass lemon on my face.

WARNING : THE WORDS BELOW THIS LINE ARE STRONG, FULL OF RAGE, CURSES AND YOU NEVER SEE THIS SIDE OF ME BEFORE. SO, if you're a minor, you never read some rage message, never want to see me as a monster, pass over this post thank you so much. no one has to read this, i'm just screaming to the world

I want to cry :) but I know it's not gonna solve anything

I am tired. Why am I knocked down back to the ground just after I convince myself things will be okay

I'm so mentally confused, afraid, exhausted, and tired.

Give me something to hold on. Inject me happiness, whatever.

I'll be away again. I am so sorry why am I so unstable like this.

I want to end everything, but again it's just a "small unfortunate bad day" said people

f you universe. you won, i'm tired. I'll just sit down here and watch as I realize just how bad my decisions are to stop but I am exhausted.

I WANT TO THROW A WATERMELON TO THE GROUND

I WANT TO SQUISH A FLUFFY BALL OF CAT

I WANT TO BITE A HAND

I WANT TO BURN MYSELF :)) NO NOT ROAST, BURN

FUUUUUMMMMM i hate my unstable emotion what is this. DO I HAVE A DOUBLE PERSONALITY?

should i call the mental help line? should i start making appointments? is this my breaking point?

I still have lots to do tonight but I'm just so close to fuck everything and just well be a disappointment 🤐

THIS IS A RAGE POST. IT'S MY RAGE. MY FRUSTRATION OF TODAY AND MY REGRET OF TOMORROW

fuck me like literally and figuratively

on my way to just go make hinge tinder and find guys

i don't care anymore

don't be like me. i'm a bad example

how am i expected to survive in life if something like today just made me overwhelmed

a lot of things make me overwhelmed eew what's this

who is this weak girl. the real me? eew :) let's keep on being fake strong . keep the weak girl aside..

and tonight as you still have to sit and meet people and talk. don't break down there, don't rage there and don't get mad at innocent people.

shut the lips. distract your mind or well at least think of nothing. keep acting and don't let anyone know.

LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE AM I HEARING TONIGHT HM?

will tomorrow be different? IT BETTER BE. FFS I'LL REALLY TURN CRAZY IF TOMORROW IS EVEN WORSE THAN THIS

my keyboard could broke if i continue writing this. ITS FURIOUS ITS SCARY AND I could feel myself disgusted b y me.

i am the storm, i am the monster, i am just another regular human without a perfect life. who has flaws, a lot of rage, a lot of unstable emotions, a lot of bullshit and well a holy virginity thats all. but idk

i want to take a walk but that won't be a great idea seeing how i will doze off in the middle of the road.

my head feels like exploding and no it's not an expression

is my blood pressure rising? or is it too low?

i know my mistakes, i know my sins, i know my secrets and i hate all of that. What's the point of people seeing you as a good stable girl when in reality is you're a total opposite? PUBLIC PLAY . life is prettier with lies right?

I'm scared of what I've become

MINORS AGAIN... SKIP THIS OR WELL JUST IDK unfollow for a while if this scares you.

PLEASE THERE'S MANY TRIGGER HERE. DON'T READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO PUT AS THE TW. but don't. It's scary. I don't know where else to put. I want to write it and burn it but i shouldn't play with fire not at this state of mind....

*******************************************************

A great liar. A double personality? Or just a lonely lunatic 🤷‍♀️

My lies in the web is >>>> irl lies. I didn't lie when i meet people irl, but once I am cosmic or someone else ... i'm a totally different person

Gosh i'm a good spy material except for the crybaby part hahahah fuck i keep calling myself crybaby but til now i couldn't cry. Coz my head keeps yelling to me that i shouldn't cry because "crying won't solve any problem"

Can I get all the science part of tumblr and teach me how do I inject happiness but not in form of drugs to this amazingly still clean blood vessels?

Can I get all the optimistic side of tumblr and fuckin block my head from thinking pessimistic thing even for a 1/10000000000 sec

Can I get all the doctors here in tumblr to just check me if my heart is actually still beating with life and not just oxygen and bloods.

Am I still alive or is this heart just trying its best to make me live but not feel alive

I know I shouldn't spend my time being like this. No one knows when your story ends. I've always been that annoying person who says "Life is so short. Enjoy every moment" WELL YEAH NOW I AM ENJOYING MY SUFFERING thanks?

One time i was so happy life really slap hard in the face. NOT EVEN IN THE ASS..COME ON.. IF ITS IN THE ASS I might like it and ask for more.. but well life is bitch

LIVE IS EVIL if you read it from the other direction. Yes once again perspective won

Perspective dang it. Idk i'm tired of existing. I need to stop lying, but once you lie and once you got used to it.... its so hard to stop

Like me ... you slowly become a monster. Who loathe herself for not stopping herself to become a monster

Yes i am your beauty you meet irl in web but once i'm alone and facing life. Well I might be the wicked witch but i'm not gracious or tall enough to be them.. so.. i'm a monster

The one you don't dare to look at night or day. The one who makes you sleep with one eye open..the one who makes you ask your parents to check the closet and under your bed.

I am the monster in your nightmare and I am taking over cosmic as she writes this.

This is not cosmic. She's never like this.

Reach out cosmic, ask for help and see how no one cares because they all got their problems to face. Come back here cosmic, stay with your darkest fears. Feed us with your happiness. Drown yourself in our darkness and close your eyes as you make yourself get used to the loud silence of eye stabbing darkness

The monster inside my soul

#rant #one of those nights #i survived?#inject me happiness

35 notes · View notes

sapphicomenn · 4 years ago

Text

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: CAPTAIN MARVEL

wooshy blue magic and blood. how mysticy and unanswered it is

“wanna fight?” 💥P O W💥 also magic powers she cant use in every fight is a punch of bullshit. kill that dude, carol you dont need him >:T shapeshifting lizards are badguys. got it. also jude law is hot as hell

rescure mission. totally gonne get ambushed (update) FUCKING TOLD YOU IT WAS AN AMBUSH. NOW YALL LOST THE MAIN CHARACTER. WHO APPARENTLY LOST HER MEMORY. stupid lizard people

women airpilots fuck yeah! and possibly has a a girlfriend?? lesbian captain marval??——FUCK UP THEM LIZARDS. punch them in their stupid faces. fucking skRulL

BLOCKBUSTER

COULSONNN- FUURYY :D FIGHT BUT THIS TIME ON A TRAIN! +car crashes bc fury cant fuckinn drive. and apparently punching old ladys- SHES A IMPOSTOR. ew the shapeshifting is gross and horrifying. 6/10 do not recommend

awh stan lee, my heart hurts

of course car-coulson is a fake. next thing ya know a cat is gonna be some fucked up lizard. dead lizard man in a car is dead, yay. also more fuckedup techy shit and a old computer

ew gross perverted men, you steal his motorcycle. and alien autopsy is very ew. and old boss looking mf is also lizard how fucked are yall that you cant even trust the old boss looking guy?

“if toast is cut diagonally, i cant eat it.” yall heard it here first. fuck diagonally cut toast. photon blast go brrr

“everyone calls me fury.” thats gonna be important later on

this bastard got upset she had to lose the flannel she had on? shes gay. new info in the hall of records show one- old lady is a alien. and two- CAROL IS HUMAN AND TWAS ON EARTH

fury you mcfuck dont call in for backup. she has space blasters IN HER HANDS. thats someone you wanna fight??? old boss guy said nick. told yall it would be important

SPACE LESBIAN SAVES EARTH FRIEND FROM ALIEN LIZARD(NOT CLICKBAIT)

FLYING JET THINGY HELPS EM GO SEE CAROLS FORGOTTEN GIRLFRIEND! also HIDDEN CAT

“auntie carol” FUCKING FUCK. stupid child. carol and mariah are inlove yourhonor. and i will die on this hill

awkard neighbor interactions. blegh. JESUS FUCK THE LIZARD IS IN THE HOUSE. lizard men good??? good guys bad???? HA THE ALIENS ARE SCARED OF CATSKABSKHSSKJS

what the fuck is a flerkin?? why is the cat called a flerkin????? SPACE BATTLE WITH THE WOOSHING AND PEWS oh they got fucking merked and crashed. losers

GOODS GUYS ARE BAD I KNEW IT. LIZARD PPL GOOD I WAS FOOLED, WRONGED, AND BAMBOOZLED. carol fucking shot a space engine and got blued by magic shit. ORIGIN STORY COMPLETE SHE HAS BECOME THE ENGINE ITSELF

this is getting sad. i feel bad for ragging on the lizard people but at the same time HA HOMELESS. mariah go! yell your space- nOT BESTFRIEND NONKSJKSKSKS. JUDE LAW BAD. LIZARD GOOD

NOREX YOU STUPID LIZARD. HOW HARD IS IT TO FIGURE OUT ORBIT SHIT COMPARED TO CORDS ON EARTH🙄 talos shut the fuck up about the stupid cat. its a C A T !

floating space cat is adorable. 10/10

SPACE CUBE! TESSERACT! in a fucking tin lunchbox- bellowing call thingy to reconnect with lizard wife and child. beautiful moment in the movie right now 😌

ITS A TRAP. okay not really but THEY FOUND YALL FCKING RUN. DONT THROW THE CAT YOU MONSTERS. “jOg thE olD mEmoRy” shut the fuck up.

DONT PUT A MUZZEL ON THE CAT YOU WHORES WHAT THE FUCK IS A FLERKIN ANYWAY

gas-lighting, manipulating fuckers of a alien race deserve kicks to the teeth. stand up to them carol, you got this. KICK THEIR ASS.

all lesbians glow. she-ra, captain marvel, korra, etc. they’re that badass. HOLY SHIT THE CAT HAS FUCKIJG CUTHULU IN ITS MOUTH JEUSS CHRIST. “im trusting you, not to eat me.” YOU BETTER HAVE MORE THEN TRUST, FURY

GOOSE YOU BEAUITFUL OCTOPUS MOUTH CAT GOOD FOR YOU EATING THE GLOWY CUBE

im just a girl playing in the background while danvers kicks the kree ass is amazing.

“do you have the thing?” “flerkin kittu ate it.”

bombs go brrrr. why is minerva so pretty its unfair. space ships also go brrr

FLYING SPACE GAY, HELL YES. HELL NO RONAN SHOWED UP. SHE STOPPED A WHOLE ASS SPACE NUKE FROM HITTING EARTH AND MAKING IT BLOW UP ALL THE OTHER ONES

“take her down” she just took out all your fucking warheads, do ya think ships would work????. “return to the jump point” COWARD

intense stand off. jude stfu you’re a badguy. you dont get a moment for a teaching lession.

“SHOW ME YOU CAN-“ BOOM. get blasted bitch. “you cant do this.” she will take that bet and win

FURY LOST HIS EYE TO THE FUCKING CAT SLSGSKHSSKHSKSS

intergalaxy pager! range can last a couple galaxies! now only $499.99! for emergencies ONLY. no out of town calls

“so is it true? the kree burned out your eye because you refused to give up the tesseract?” fury just tell em the cat clawed your eye out and stop being embarassed :/

NEXT MOVIE: IRON MAN :D

#captain marvel #captain marvel movie #the mcu #marvel #marvel movies #marvel cinematic universe #lesbian captain marvel??#FUCK THE SHAPESHIFTING LIZARD PEOPLE #forgotten memorys are very gay. 10/10 #artemis rants #carol danvers #flying space lesbian

9 notes · View notes

wreckitwrit · 3 years ago

Text

i can't find the zukka discord server o used to be in so i guess ill just post into the abyss here:

- high school and/or summer camp au where the gaang enters a talent show. imagining bending wouldnt exist in this universe?

- sokka is doing some fancy shit w boomerang/s like in the tiktok

- aang would 100% do some random dance thats very outdated but still grts everyone pumped

- toph and katara maybe team up to do some lowkey crime shit bc i love the idea that they learn to become the best scam duo ever

- ok lets also put sukki and her squad there doing some dangerous choreography or something

- yue would be the classically trained musician who pulls out a wicked fun and modern composition that totally surprises everyone half way through. imagining some kinda lightning quick outfit change too just bc she deserves to be dramatic af

- fire nation kids are there ofc. mai does some knife throwing, ty lee ofc does acrobatic shit that the school *definitely* did not approve but she did it anyway and it leaves everyone breathless. maybe she and mai team up? azula does some impressive martial art thing idk

- zuko does something similar (with dao swords?) so he is trying hard not to be upstaged by his sister (ohh what if he and azula choreographed a fight sequence? and oops at some point its not fake anymore but everyone in the audience just thinks the blood and bruises are props lmao)

- i welcome any other character additions obvi

- but anyway the meat of the story is this: long days at rehearsal bc the entire camp/school is putting together this show for parents/general non-school audience (think fundraiser kinda thing), which means all the contestants know everyones act and theres some competitive tension there

- but for some reason, especially btwn zuko and sokka. as the practices go on (i almost wrote "as the summer goes on" so i think this is officially a summer camp situation but i am open to whatever), they are antagonizing each other outside of practice times to where it becomes the kind of rivalry that feels innate and both sides (fire nation v gaang) feel clique-y as hell but tbh no one remembers any concrete reason why it is what it is towards the end

- i think theres a lot of moments outside rehearsal where sokka and zuko have cute little moments (imagining a scene or five where sokka is starting to really pick up swordsmanship bc yes thats def a thing that happens in summer camps and zuko praises offhand at one point and oops now sokka is pestering for practice tips and oh *no* homosexual tension during MY sword fight bouts?? more likely than youd think!!) but once back in the rehearsal space their rivalry slips back on and theres some fun frenemy dynamics there

- did i mention this would be a zukka enemies to lovers au bc ofc how would it work any other way

- but theres a lil bit of angst too when they finally put on the talent show (i have zero thoughts on who would actually win or who would be crowd favorite) and the only person who shows for fire nation kids is iroh bc all their families suck

- whereas even tho katara and sokkas mom isnt there (rip) they still have hakoda and bato and a lot of other members of the water tribe

- so theres some comfort when fire nation kids are invited into the gaangs celebration and theres some heart warming found family moments, even if azula and mai would prefer not to take them up on it and its mostly just zuko trying to find his place with all these new friends hes been skirting around all summer

- (ty lee is bouncing btwn the groups but ends up finding her place with the kyoshi warriors dance squad)

- anyway i think the fic would end somewhere around that little celebration and sokka and zuko hold hands and smile at each other and cue pure and cute ending tyvm for reading

#zukka #atla #talent show au #started all bc of that fucking tiktok

3 notes · View notes

theravencawsatmidnight · 4 years ago

Text

Part 3.

Summary. Iwazuimi thinks up an awful idea to help Kentarou get his anger out.

Warnings. Vomit, chipped tooth, blood. Sad boi Kentarou

Kentarou walked with you still in his grip till you were off school grounds. The cold air stung your legs and all you wanted to do was lay down.. and check what that cracking noise was. Kentarou dropped his grip on you and your hand went straight to your mouth to rub at your cheek in little circles, fuck it hurt..

After a minute you decided to just reach in and see if anything was broken, your jaw ached from having to open up so wide but you ignored it. Kentarou watched you with a tilted head and twitching eyebrow. Oh please, he thought. As if you broke any..-

When he watched you pull out a chipped tooth his fingers reached out to you for a minute making the veins in his hands dance around against his skin. The wince your body did when you pulled it out sent a chill up his spine. Oh shit, oh fuck. Why. Dammit. The look you gave him was fake, he knew it. He could see it in your eyes you wanted to break down right there.

You waved your other hand around assuring him it was fine, unsure if you should talk or not. You needed to get home though, and fast.. Kentarou watched you limp for a few steps till you almost fell. He caught you and pulled your arm over his shoulders and grabbed your side with his free one helping you steady.

“Just tell me where your damn house is” was all he said too you.

You felt relieved slightly but.. everything still hurt. You guided Kentarou to your home and you had to make up some story for your parents when they saw the state you were in; swollen cheeks, ripped knee high and holding your stomach. You told them some thug tried to rob you and Kentarou saved you. They believed you and before they could thank him he already left.

•••

Kentarou was already down the street far away from you, hurting you. God damn it this was not helping his anger. If anything it made it worse. He pulled his phone from his pocket dialing , when Iwazuimi answered he punched a brick wall. “This isint working. I chipped her god damn tooth .” He growled leaning into the cold hard building staring at his now bloody knuckles watching the blood trickle down the lines in his fingers dripping down to his wrist slithering to his elbow. “I was so angry ..seeing her in those fucking thigh highs. I know everyone was looking at her” he rolled facing the brick wall running his nails along it waiting for Iwazuimi to say something.

Iwazuimi was quiet while his friend unloaded on him. Yeah, this was a awful idea why did he come up with this Iwa-Kun you dunce. They would be in real hot water if you told anyone but you really seemed like you wouldint do that. “Kentarou, i need to tell you something about her.” There was a long pause on both ends if you dont count Kentarous endless heavy huffing and puffing. After a long thinking session Iwa-Kun spoke up .

Kentarou grabbed his side, he felt very hot all of a sudden, his head heavy and his throat felt like it had a heavy piece of food in it. He heaved a few times trying to steady his breathing but it was no use. He was down on his knees staring at the vomit on the ground in front of him , his phone on his lap. He coughed a few times and leaned forward grabbing his phone , his free arm above his head his fingers in his buzz cut. He felt like total shit and now his stomach was aching hard from rejecting his lunch. A few tears fell from his eyes down his cheeks . “She likes watching.. me play..”

Iwazuimi had to go fetch Kentarou himself because he really could not get home himself right now. Seeing his friend in such a state. The Mad Dog as Oikawa called him, was on his knees hunched over his own vomit crying into the cold cement unable to pull himself together. The fact that you enjoyed watching him play made him sick to his stomach. You enjoyed someone as mean as him, as pushy.. as abusive as him. You were not a chew toy. You were a gift . A god damn gift.

Iwazuimi pulled his friend up handing him some water that he sipped and spit back out to freshen his mouth for the time being. He leaned on the third year all the way home not saying anything at all. He wasint gonna talk and Iwazuimi was not going to force him. The whole walk home he tried to think about what to do to make this up to you .. if he even could.

Iwazuimi took the time to reflect on this whole event that he caused. You were so innocent and shy, not a bruise to be seen on your body, should he tell Kentarou that youve been wanting to approach him? Maybe. But now was not the right time, and it might mean more if you say it yourself. He got Kentarou home safe and sound and Iwazuimi went home himself. Both boys thought long and hard about this whole situation.

•

The next day you were in so much pain all over; your stomach was on fire and you had a bruise on your left knee and right cheek. You wanted to wear thigh highs but it was probably not a good idea.. You did though use make up to cover up your purple cheek. You fixed your hair and left for school , heart beating fast. The whole night you were awake thinking about what happened. The look he had on his face when he saw you stumble along looked pained and shocked as of he was thinking “i caused that.” Was he okay? Was he sad…

Kentarou avoided you all day; dodging you whenever he saw you or giving you an angry look whenever you locked eyes. You were limping and everytime you tried to walk towards him he just took off in the other direction blending in with the crowd of other teens. He was no where to be found at lunch either, not at his usual spot with his team eating a melon bun. He would be at practice though. And you were gonna ask him if he was okay.

After school you walked slowly towards the gym holding your stomach rubbing tbe giant bruise you had on it. You were in so much pain but you had to ignore it for now. You were almost there.

When you did arrive Oikawa was coming up behind you passing you with a smile on his face and a slightly purple nose. He dipped down to your height grinning at you. “Y/n chan! How can i help you?”

“Kawa.. is..” god you needed to sit down.. “Kentarou here..”

Oikawa tilted his head looking over his shoulder raising his voice. “Iwa-kuuuuun!!!!”

“Dont call me that!!!!!!!” He yelled from the gym.

“ is Mad Dog -Chan in there?”

“He went home sick!!!”

Oikawa looked back at you and rubbed your head. “He went home sick y/n chan.”

“O..ok..” you swayed.

“Hes a little mean though, id pick another favorite player , im available.” He smiled at you.

You fainted in his arms and Oikawa almost didint catch you. He cursed yelling into the gym and everyone ran out , Iwazuimi picked you up in his arms and the Coach told him to bring you to the infirmary.

•

You woke up to see Iwazuimi leaning iver the bed with his hands in his hair . You reached out touching his arm and within a second he looked up sighing with relief. He grabbed your hand with both of his apologizing over and over.

“Uhm. .. Iwa..Kun..”

“Y/n i am so..-“

“Is .. he really sick..”

“He threw up his lunch , he was eating too fast but…..”

“Iwa..?”

Iwazuimi told you about last night, he left out Kentarou crying but he told you about him vomiting and needing him to help the poor guy home.

“Will.. will he be okay for the game?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

“He avoided me all day..”

“I know y/n. He mostly hung around with me today.”

“I dont.. regret any of this.”

Iwazuimi lowered his head into his arms, still holding your hand. “You think you can change him”

“I can try.”

“Hes a good person.. its just stuck under his tough exterior.”

You rubbed his hand with your thumb. “I know, ill find it”

•

Your parents had come to pick you up and you were given heavy medicine and ordered to lay in bed all day and tomorrow. The game was the day after tomorrow and you prayed you would be okay to go. You would not be at school tomorrow either…

Slowly you pulled your phone from the night stand opening it up to see no messages. Should you..? You opened up your contacts staring at his name for a long few minutes, you were shaking a little. It was just a text. Thats all. Its not like you would see him soon anyway. You took in a deep sigh sending out a text.

🎾i wont be at school tomorrow. But i will see you at the game, i hope your doing okay.

Kentarou was in bed staring at the celing. Watching you limp around the damn school broke his heart into tiny pieces. The fact that he caused such pain to you, someone that enjoyed watching him play. Someone who always had a smile on their face when they asked how his day was… He rolled over squeezing his pillow in disgust. He hated himself, who he was, what he put you through. His phone buzzed and it was Iwazuimi texting him telling him what happened today which broke him even more. God damn it, and Oikawa of all people . He didint reply but he did get another text, from you this time.

His body sunk down and felt very heavy, after everything he put you though, giving you stupid rules, ripping your thigh highs, shoving you into the wall, making you faint at school from kicking your stomach. And chipping your god damn tooth.. you still wanted to make sure he was okay. ..

The text he sent you made you cry instantly, why.. why.. you wanted to be near him, hear him out. Make him feel better..

😡Stay away from me.

•

@squeaky-ducky

#SideLines #kentarou x reader #kyoutani kentarou #haikyuu fanfiction #LongFic #kyotani 💕

36 notes · View notes

hockeysweetheart · 4 years ago

Photo

Hunger Games Characters I picture in Disney Characters.

Katniss I Put her with Merida ( Brave) Belle ( BATB) Meg ( Hurcules) Elsa (Frozen).

Why Merida. Well shes good with the bow and arrow ( I actually haven’t seen Brave fully so I don’t know much about her).

Belle. Both are strong willed women Willing to do anything for family. Both have no choice but to stay where they are “captured” both are like if I have a will to live through this I’m not gonna go down without a fight. Both have 2 men after their hearts, Both know how to survive on their own if needed. She learned to fall in love with a beast.

Meg. This is more the love side for Katniss. The Song I wont say I’m in love is basically Katniss’s theme song. Like she wont admit it she loves Peeta but girl we all know..

Elsa. In a way Katniss did shut out Prim to protect her. She didn’t want to hurt her sister strong willed to protect her sister at all cost. Plus I know Cinna is to credit for this but her mockingjay outfit *Chefs kiss* plus they wear their hair the same.

Peeta. Hercules Kristoff ( Frozen) Kovu ( Lion King 2) The Beast (BATB)

Hercules he’s strong. But he literally gave up everything for love. Which is so Peeta.

Kristoff. Okay this one both have such a charm that attracts everyone. Tho both have obessions and flaws So they are a bit of fixer uppers. But both are somewhat accpecting to the fact I will wait until you make your choice. Both have kind and sweet hearts. Both are kultzy but pull it off like a champ. ( And Katniss didn’t fall in love with a man she just met. They knew each other since the age of 5) But Never truely met until the games.

Kovu. Hes the sexiest damn thing. In Disney characters I freaking swear He has a way with his words. Charming. Loyal tho. He is willing to go against his families ( whos kinda a bunch of ya know bad guys) for Love and whats right. So Peeta.

The Beast. This is Peeta in Hijacked Form ( Some parts). Besides the totally Hitting on Belle part. We all know deep down the love he had for Katniss never left. He never stopped loving her. Not based on how good she looked but who she is. Plus A Kiss broke the spell. Also he had a bit of charm in his hijacking but so much anger and Katniss was the only one who could truely break him outta it. Also I was hoping that He would of said so you came to look at the beast have you.

Finnick King Triton ( Little Mermaid) Maui ( Moana) Flynn Rider ( Tangled) Aladdin.

Kin g Triton. Well for that Trident comes in handy. ( The king is kinda a jerk why are most fathers in disney movies total jerks I’ll never know) But I hope that Finnicks son at least knows what a fork is compaired to a freaking trident ( and doesn’t use it as a hair brush) man that was stupid. Both are basically the big shot of where they live. Both love water live near or in water... ( What they hell do they eat under the sea ?)

Maui. Okay Finnick is a bit of a show off a little. Not his fault hes so damn good looking. Both have that sarcasm that makes you laugh but your like oh my god please stop. Both have there if Finnick had a song It would be your welcome. But still so much we never know about them both.

Flynn Rider. Okay well both just have the certain personality that is strangely Alike. Both know how to fight if needed. Both are like well the ladies are okay but not intrested until they find the one.. Both have their charm. ( Plus I love Flynn rider).

Aladdin. We know that Finnick has a huge part of him he never opened up. Before when he spilled what the real price to winning is. That was not everything. There is a part that Beetee said If you knew Finnick it’s amazing he’s still with us at all. So hes been though it.

Johanna Bo Peep ( Toy Story 4) Mulan and Mulans Grand mother ( Mulan) Tiana (Princess and the Frog)

Bo Peep. From the first toy story to the 4th one Bo peep has changed a lot. ( Kinda like Johanna from after her games to who we met in Catching fire) Tho a lot of them is still there that hasn’t changed. But their will to fight. and that they dont take BS as an answer. That they both may look weak but inside them so much more then that. ( I was shocked to see Bo Peep kinda like Johanna in toy story 4). Not scared of a little fight and blood. Frankly I’d be worried that they both would try to kill someone in their sleep.

Mulan. I love in movies where the weakest person goes to the strongest like that. Totally Johanna. And they are the girl worth fighting for I see more of her in Johanna then Katniss because Johanna went from faking being weak to deadly like that. Where as katniss she didn’t hide it at all really. Plus if this wasn’t a disney movie i would of love to say what Mulan would of said when they found out shes a girl really. But both are bad ass females. Who really had no choice to go into this ( Mulan had to save her father Johanna got picked to be in the games)

Mulans Grandmother ( I didn’t realize I did this) But I Johanna’s humor she says what she wants and no damage. They don’t ruin the moment they make the moment 100 times better.

Tiana. She was totally fine not finding love ( But its disney she did) I really like her will to not give up no matter how many changes are thrown at you. and tolerting her best friend but I freaking love Charlotte She is the one who knows what to say in a moment where no one else would understand basically the girl talk that Katniss hates but we all have it in us.

Prim Repunzel ( Tangled) Baymax ( Big Hero 6) Anna ( Frozen)

Lets Ignore the fact that I brought up 2 of these lovers before to other characters

Repunzel The healing part Prim has it is in her born with it. and she has a nack of many talents. And In a way is locked up in District 12 ( But Protected by her sister)

Baymax He is the cutest thing out there. Caring knowing when you need a hand ( Like katniss) a healer ( I might of went out to look for the healer of disney). Not much of a fighter ( But I swear if you did what Hiro did if you did that to prim oh my god the fight in her but the healing will always be apart of her)

Anna. Okay I basically but Anna here because she is Elsa’s sister. Simlar hair styles but.. Both are willing to do anything for each other. Prim had a knack to see if the fence was on to see if Katniss was gonna be late coming back from hunting. Both are gental who wont hurt a fly (Unless your almost husband is a total jerk)

Effie Charlotte ( Princess and the Frog) Dory (Finding Nemo ) Yzma ( The emperors New Groove)

Charlotte. Oh my god If this isn’t effie I have no clue what is. She does stuff to get a better district. But then Truely cares about her district 12 tributes 74th Games. She would almost do anything in her power to make them on time and for her victors.

Dory Okay Effie is a bit clueless in her own little world. Telling them about the pearls lol and whitty. Effie doesn’t have short term memory loss she has I’ve been living in the capitol and this is what I know.

Yzma This is the effie we dont wanna see Frankly I am happy we didn’t see this side of her. It’s the one who gets really pissed off I’m sure it would be something else tho to see.

Cinna. Fairy God mother (Cinderella) Genie ( Aladdin) Nick ( Zootopia)

Fairy God mother. Cinnas out fits are like bibbidi bobbidi boo I make an awesome outfit for you. Also He takes good care of Katniss.( Like sent from up above) On her side beyond his end. A bit of a rebel but over all a really good guy

Genie. Cinna is like the Genie without 3 wishes. But he is there and supports Katniss fully. And just helps her out when se needs it. and Is a friend in Katniss. Basically the one she trusts first and fully,

Nick Okay this is an odd one But he rebeled from his bad guy character to help Judy ( Police officer) with a crime. Cinna helped out katniss and pretty much a rebel to go beyond to help her. To show shes the symbol of this war... To show that she should go a head fight for it all its worth. Plus I got your back making your costumes not only good looking but you wont have to worry about death yet your costumes prevent that.

Haymitch. Mushu ( Mulan) Lumiere ( BATB) Crush (Finding Nemo)

Mushu He is that reality check that Katniss and Peeta needed but also will do almost anything to protect them ( Even lying for there own good) But also oh my lordy funny.

Lumiere. It’s his carefree side where Katniss shot an apple at the gamemakers and just like oh well. That happened... Plus not playing by the capitol rules and He is just like a good mentor to Katniss and Peeta hell the best. He really wants them to try to win this thing.

Crush. Okay that turtle was the most stoned turtle I’ve met. To this day. And as for Disney Characters this might not be the most drunk but It’s one i can Find.

Gale Robin Hood Hans ( Frozen) Gaston ( BATB)

Robin hood Umm he shoots I think he hunts thats about it

Hans Not only did he confuse Anna for a love But we see his true colours too. I mean they were not even friends first but still. Like so Gale.

Gaston. He’s a hunter after his girl Katniss ( But shes already taken) Really wanted her once she was gone also is strangly after Katniss and only katniss ( when shes around) when he has plenty of takers.

Okay I realized this is very long. So these are the last picture.

Snow. Evil Witch ( Snow white) Scar ( Lion King)

Evil both are totally okay with murder and poison. At least she only poisoned Snow white enough to put her in a coma.

Scar. If you read the newest Hunger Games book ya know. What snow did to a certain someone... And like wont take the blame but he will tho at the same time

Coin Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty) Mother Gothal ( Tangled)

Maleficent I am deeply scared of her just saying and Coin as well

Mother Gothal. Totally Coin. They both dont want there golden Flower to leave protection if it was really up to Coin she would never let Katniss go. But she had little control over her Frankly Katniss never trusted her at all. But like Mother Gothal we all knew she was bad going in but Coin first time Reading I said I bet you will be bad lol.

Annie Hei hei (Moana) Jane ( Tarzan)

Hei Hei ( Sorry Annie ) But kinda crazy. Kinda out of it...

Jane I have no idea why but I see this crazy girl from 4 Jane. Just going a bit crazy at everything like Jane

Wiress Clogsworth ( BATB) Okay simple very smart but Kinda out there and has a thing for clocks

Mags (Grandma from Moana) A little crazy but alright. I mean better then alright down right awesome.

Beetee Wall’e I have actually never seen this movie but I am like hell robot Beetee.

Careers Bruce and the other sharks (Finding Nemo) Scary yet the biggest idiots on the planet. Sure they get the best of best as districts go but damn who doesn’t know how to climb a tree or knowlage to idk chop it down burn it down..

The Claw

Not Sure who this is ( Monters inc) I just thought Plutarch at Katniss’s propo attemps lol.

Caesar Flickerman Kuzco ( Emperors new groove) If this isn’t him I have no idea what is. Total Kuzco vibes the but also somewhat caring but most of the interviews is how he does. Its beauty and its grace its Caesers face. But He does try to help out to the best of his ability.

Boggs Mattias. Frozen 2 Basically he actually cares for Katniss doesn’t want to see harm done to her. A rebel against his leader. ( I think he would of honestly be proud of Katniss for Killing Coin). But Only hopes for the best.

Cato Prince Eric ( Little mermaid) No offence but holy crap hes an idiot lol ( Eric I mean). Cato is smart but clueless. If he beileved that 2 could win. ( I honestly have no idea why I chose him for Cato)

Katniss’s Mother ( Iduna) Frozen ( Anna and Elsas mother). Yeah Mrs Everdeen did leave her daughters to fend for themselfs but bits of her came back to life every day. and if she had a choice she would of died with her husband but she is the strongest damn person because she could of died if she wanted to but she stayed for her daughters sakes. I would like to think Iduna would of done the same if she had that chance.

Game Makers (More monster inc dudes_ This is their faces when Katniss blew up the arena)

Madge Moana. Okay I will admit stange but Madge is pretty bad ass like Moana tho she doesn’t leave she is very family is everything quiet. But not a sas for a village leaders daughter Moana isn’t bad at all. I could see her being the Madge we don’t get to see.

39 notes · View notes

hhuta · 4 years ago

Note

(3D lbqfm anon) y'know after reading ur post on it i realized i a) subconsciously noticed the de-gaying and that's probably why i didn't like it and b) somehow didn't notice ANY changes despite the fact that I watched the two versions less than a week apart,,, i thought it was just the new cravat (tho i still don't like it. the old one was better) | also,,,, is it too much trouble to ask why u don't like the 3D assassymphonie? guessing smtg to do w the women | also ur opinion on 3D vaec?

where do i start with miss l'assasymphonie.. btw u can watch the video of the two versions side by side here. and my rant got wayyy too long so ill talk about VAEC in another post ldkjasl

tw: self harm/suicide mention just to be safe

im going to start with minor differences that make me prefer the 2010 version but not hate the 2011 one

first of all his dramatic soft gay sappy ass touching his heart when talking about mozarts music i like that a lot :(

then when he sings "killing out of spite everything i create" he metaphorically stabs himself in 2010 but not in 2011

and i love the first version because its a nice and subtle parallel between how mozarts music makes him feel like (lbqfm) vs how his own music affects him (l'assasymphonie) as i pointed out here before. this is on different levels !! the fact that in lbqfm its his inner gay demon stabbing him, representing mozart(s music) and in l'assasymphonie he stabs himself..... bc he is killing what he creates and what he creates is part of himself... so this isnt about him wanting to kill mozart its about him being self destructive... this is crazy this is just one gesture and i can go on and on about it and honestly my rant will only get more insane.

later he grabs the knife at different moments and in different ways and i think the 2010 version is more dramatic and impactful. the editing helps too, it really made me jump, its all done at the right time. but honestly both are valid to me; i feel like in 2010 hes more angry and impulsive, like its the very first time he thinks about doing something like this, whereas in 2011 he feels sad and defeated, like hes going back to a place he fought very hard to get out of and because of this one guy hes back there, but in the end he recognises its his own fault

another minor difference that i think is worth mentioning, and honestly i like both versions, is what he does at the "senseless (or crazy) symphony" part. in 2010 he almost covers his ears cuz obviously it goes along with the lyrics in a literal sense. meanwhile in 2011 its more of a symbolic interpretation? idk how to word it but 2010 feels like hes just talking about his music and the thoughts inside his head making no sense, but in 2011 when he looks at his writs, his veins, its like he is talking about himself as a whole; a being without any meaning, who is losing his mind, and i like that too

and this difference goes on when he talks about the "disconcerting concert"; 2010 feels like hes literally listening to it around him, his performance in 2010 is overall more dramatic lkjslkd, meanwhile theres none of that in 2011, hes too melancholic to be jumping around

here when hes talking about his talent (or rather lack of) u can see how hes more angry in 2010 and sad in 2011 (honestly this corroborates my theory that at the beginning florent played salieri as a legit evil villain but as it went on he added more depth)

anyways so far both versions are good to me now........ the fucking dancers............... i move away from the mic to breathe in.jpg

theres just. so fucking much going on in 2011. there are a shit ton of people moving around, the flashing lights, the constant zoom in and out, the curtains moving the background, im gonna have a stroke????? l'assasymphonie is such a heavy song, emotionally, and florents performance is amazing on its on theres no fucking need to add 100 more elements!??!? it totally takes away ur focus from salieri ....

my biggest problem is with the dancers as u guessed it cuz honestly idk why they are there, i dont understand the need. i get that they are his inner demons, but not the sexy ones, so they are there to represent his inner turmoil and add a chaos element to the performance and a parallel to lbqfm with the whole hands on salieri part, but its way to obvious that it becomes repetitive! inner demons dancing around a character happens way too much on mor; bim bam boum in a way, j'accuse mon pere, la mascarade, comedie-tragedie, si je defaille, lbqfm and now again?!!?!?!?! bitihc dlajsdlkas

and the worst fucking part to me is when salieri goes to kill the female dancer

.....why whY... WHY.. why make the song literal like this!!! this is not what its about??!?! i know she isnt supposed to be A Person, this isnt him being A Murderer, she is him in a way but ?? we already saw him almost killing himself??!!? why repeat that, this is just so unnecessary and it doesnt sit right with me why make him stab a woman!! it makes my blood boil. it takes away all the drama from the other scene, of him with the knife on his wrist, because it is essentially the same!

now lets discuss why i prefer the lost half naked blindfolded men. is it because its gay? yes. is it because of the kinky element? yes. u see how that creates a parallel to lbqfm but in a subtle way? yes thank you.

to elaborate i feel like the 2010 dancers represent his psyche at the moment soooo much better. its not just simply his inner demons haunting him again, making it repetitive.

his is how i interpret it and how it relates to salieri:

the blindfold: god it can mean so much... above all i think its his envy and anger blinding him, making him feel lost and afraid. but it can also represent how salieri is a stern man, he only sees things one way and is blinded to other possibilities, other ways of living. because he is so narrow minded, so used to just following the status quo, he doesnt understand mozart and how his carefree way of life is working for him. he doesnt understand his conflicted feelings towards mozart. he doesnt understand how mozarts music can be so unconventional and yet beautiful, etc etc. his world was shattered and he feels lost because of this one little guy

but honestly i think the intention was to give a shoutout to amadeus lmao which is still cool. they do mention in MOR that mozart can play blindfolded so u can view as a parallel to that too

the lack of clothes: around mozart salieri feels naked but not in a sexy and fun way, in vulnerable and seen for the first time way. imagine how strongly he considered changing his name and moving countries after the whole eh bien, maestro? trop de notes? ordeal..... he was caught off guard in that situation so he let the truth out way too much, but he knows he cant fake it around mozart any other time either

their behaviour: they look afraid, lost, in pain and are constantly falling, getting up, then falling again and being pushed up against the wall by something invisible (to me its mozarts music/influence) and honestly i dont have to say anything else ! its all there !!! it represents salieris emotions perfectly !!!!!

in summary, to me the 2010 dancers dont have a lot to do with the lyrics of the song and i think thats good. they are there to add a new element to it, to let us see inside salieris head, while salieri himself is performing what the lyrics are about. so on the other hand i think the 2011 dancers are repetitive and unnecessary, not adding anything new to the performance

#final thoughts: maybe the 2010 choreo was too ahead of its time for certain people so they changed it.....#anyways that was so fucking long i hope at least half of it makes sense #l'assasymphonie #asks #mor thoughts #3d anon

12 notes · View notes

brideofcthulhu10 · 4 years ago

Note

YASSSSSSS! Romeo and Juliet is my all-time favorite!

Okay this took all day, so all you guys better love this! This is actually the first part, I will submit the other half in about an hour or two. It really was so massive it needed to be broken into more than one segment. So, after FIVE HOURS of writing, I present for your viewing pleasure

THE TRAGEDY OF MARKO [1/2]

Marko×Fem!Reader

Content Warning! Violence, Gore, Sexual Themes, Offensive Language! Reader's Discretion is Advised!

The idea of being with a human never really sat well with Marko. He wasn't exactly popular with the ladies when he was alive, and now they all just seemed intrigued by his night time allure. Fake the lot of it. Half of them were just going to be a snack anyways, there was no point in getting attached.

At least until Star made a friend.

Cruising around on the boardwalk was second nature, to the point that he knew the place like the back of his hand. With his hands stuffed in his pockets he trotted behind his friend Paul who was determined to get a good spot. These Santa Carla concerts were okay, but finally the big guns rolled in. For one night only the baddest bastards in Hollywood were coming down to tear it up with the citizens of this manky beach town- Mötley motherfuckin' Crüe! Anyone in their way quickly moved, he was not about to miss it.

Honestly the notion was pretty cool, Marko understood Paul's over exuberant glee. Of course it started off with the greatest bang he's ever seen. Fireworks, pyrotechnics, his buddy was just geeking out to the extreme. Halfway through Girls, Girls, Girls he spotted a mass of h/c just swinging through the crowd. Every step was so nonchalantly elegant, which was a rare description when it came to a rock concert. But his eyes just zeroed in on them. No, her. She was giggling with Star of all people, he hadn't even realized the little half-er was there with them. He bit at his thumb, pushing away the tumbles of blonde that fell into his face. A solid THUMP to his shoulder alerted him to reality as Paul cheered as loud as he could.

"THANK YOU SANTA CARLA! AND GOOD NIGHT!"

Had it already been two hours? Marko rapidly shook his head, still floating with each step when Star approached them. Both girls were giggling, panting messes. Y/N. That's what you introduced yourself as.

Paul was praising you for your most excellent head banging skills. When you turned to him he thought his heart might kick up again.

"Awesome to meet you, gorgeous," he teased with a curling grin.

Now it was your turn to be flustered. If this was what all California boys were like you could definitely get used to this. Looking for any excuse to talk to him further you blurted out a suggestion to grab something to eat. Star passed, all that heavy grease was too much for her but she wouldn't mind just following along. Marko on the other hand chimed in that it wasn't too much for them.

Paul watched you two banter back and forth the whole way across the beach and up the steps onto the boardwalk itself. With a casual grin he slumped his arm over Star's shoulder, whispering something low in her ear.

"Ah, shit you know what? I totally forget we promised Laddie we'd take him on the ferris wheel," he exclaimed, Marko cocking an eyebrow. Since when? Paul wasn't for all those slow rides. He knew his best friend. The guy was an adrenaline junkie, usually that boring stuff was Dwayne or Star's liking.

"Oh, um we could come with if you want," you suggested, only to have Star wave you off.

"No, no don't worry about it, Y/N. You two have fun. We'll catch up later."

Before you could get another word in they bolted, leaving you alone with Marko.

"Still hungry," he asked, raising a brow. "Or do you gotta go too?"

"Oh! No, I could still eat." Boy, sheepish wasn't a word you'd use to describe yourself. But something about the way he watched you, it make you feel so nervous. "So uh, Marko right? Have you always lived in Santa Carla?"

"Well, I've been here a while," he casually responded. Talking about his past before turningwas usually a touchy subject. That stuff was best left behind. He wasn't Mark anymore, that guy died long ago. "I guess you could say I've been all over. I used to live in England for a while before I came to America."

"No way, you're so lucky!" You looked down to see you had grabbed his jacket in your excitement, quickly letting go. Whew. Was it getting hot out here or what? "S-sorry, I didn't mean to, um, ya know..."

His snicker was so cute, lightly bumping your arm with his own. "Don't even trip. We all get excited, yeah?" Neon lights made his hair shift colors as you walked through the crowds, stopping at a snack shop that stood out like a sore thumb. It was impossible to miss the big, flashing red sign reading:

"CHARLIE'S BOARDWALK EMPORIUM"

Photos decorated the base of the blue walls with images of cotton candy, caramel apples, nachos and snow cones over an explosion of popcorn. So many options. On your tip toes you waited in line with him reading each of the prices. Deep fried cola? Chocolate dipped bacon sticks? You scrunched up your nose, settling for a basket of chili cheese curly fries and a soda.

"Hey put your money away, babes," Marko interjected. "Charlie doesn't charge for cute ones, right bud?"

He must've been referring to the heavyset Armenian man in a 'kiss the cook' apron, who by the way had no hair net covering the mop top smushed beneath a red baseball cap. All he did was slowly nod, stiffly scooting your order onto the counter. You only ordered a medium, this was massive. "Yes, of course. It's on the house lil' lady," he insisted in a thick accent. It must've been hot in there, he sounded bizarrely out of it.

"You sure have a way with people," you commented, now wedged on the boardwalk steps leading off onto the sand, splitting the gooey mess with your newfound friend.

"Nah, you heard him. Cute girls don't pay," he teased. That rosy tiny hadn't left your cheeks since he'd been with you. Hours passed, sharing stories and finding you two had so many common interests. Marko hadn't genuinely laughed like this in a while, and when it became late in the night he offered you a second chance to hang out. Since then you came visiting every night.

The moment you showed up he felt a breath of air. It didn't take Marko long to introduce you to the boys. The big one with a lack of shirt was Dwayne, you still remembered Paul and Star from that night on the beach. Then there was David. You weren't so sure he liked you. The most he gave you was a disinterested wave, but Marko insisted he was always like that. Eventually he'd have to leave around 10 pm, apologizing profusely.

"Wish I could stay baby, but we got some ridin' to do. Same time tomorrow," he asked, holding your hands in his.

"Y-yeah of course. Oh! Wait wait hold on," you insisted, quickly digging through your pockets. Where was it? Ah! "Here, I got you this."

Nestled in the palm of your hand was a silver scorpion etched on a black coin dangling off a chain. "I remember you said you wanted to get a new earring a few days ago"

"Babe thats awesome!" His gloved fingers plucked the piece, swapping his little skull out for it before modeling it in front of you. "Think you can hold onto mine for a while? I bet it'd look cute on you."

It wasn't hard to sense David growing impatient with you delaying their leave. Maybe because he told you two to hurry up. Right. "Gotta ride, baby." Before he left Marko stole a fast kiss from your cheek, riding away in a flash leaving you frozen. Slowly you opened your palm. The little black carved skull rolled over, looking right at you. Steeling your resolve you took it right by the silver hook and pushed it against your earlobe. The skin resisted, a sharp burn pressing harder until it popped into place. A little blood was fine, you'd be healed by morning. But now there was a whole lot of nothin' to do. Star was at their little hideout, you'd only really seen it once before and didn't have the stones to go there without the boys' permission. Tonight you saw that brown haired guy with them again. Some new guy who just came to Santa Carla named… Oh god what was it? Mitchell? Manny? Milo? Something "Mi"... mmm...mmm-M-Michael! Yes, that's who it was! He was so much more intense and jumpy that the others, but you always got the impression he was a bit... er, lost. He always either had this confused or angry look on his face.

With nothing better to do, you spent the night aimlessly wandering through the coastal shorelines, your feet sweeping over cold, damp sand as you followed hills. You couldn't stop thinking about the jumpy newbie who seemed particularly aggressive. He always gave David dirty looks, but Marko wouldn't tell her who he was.

"Just a guy Star met, babes. Don't worry too much about him, he's just gotta mellow out before he joins us."

You'd walked so far you hadn't even realized there were people up ahead blasting Aerosmith on their boombox, jumping around a crude bonfire like a pack of wild men.

Ugh, Surf Nazis. Pain in the ass California boneheads who practically dominated the waves and the boardwalk. You were ready to turn the other way when a stream of light flew by, one after the other. Five each. Hey, you knew those motorcycles! Ducking down by the dunes you watched Marko swing his leg over the seat, dashing up to a looming tree overlooking the bonfire mosh pit with Paul, Dwayne and David. Michael was there too? You wiggled lower, cautiously staying out of sight just close enough to hear them over the music.

"Initiations over, Michael," David hissed with glee. "Time to join the club!"

Club? Like a biker club or something? Squinting at the tree you nearly feel backward when the image cleared beneath the harsh orange glow. Their ey-e-eyes! They-they were blood red- white even! The way they snickered and laughed sent a blood curdling chill down your back. Marko… that sweet, alluring smile was now twisted into a hideous smirk boasting sharp, pointed teeth mocking the brunette beneath him who shared a similar look of horror. In a flash they fle- THEY FLEW!

Rapidly you ducked down, clutching at your heart. It was beating so fast you thought your ribs were going to break. And then the screams.. those awful, sickening screams! You had to cover your mouth not to cry out in horror as David lodged his teeth into a man's skull. Dwayne howled with delight, tearing another guy in half. They were painted red. Every where, every thing, red.

You almost missed Marko as he snapped their neck, peeling back scalp with ease to devour the wrinkled flesh beneath their skull. Then you couldn't see anymore, it was all tears. They showed no regret, no mercy. Instead they reveled in their kills, throwing the last of the limbs into a flaming inferno like some sort of hellish bonfire.

Bile flooded your esophagus, tearing your hand away to empty your stomach onto the sands beneath you. You nearly cried out, startled when David spoke again to Michael.

"Now you know what we are… and now you know what you are."

What they were?

"You'll never grow old. And you'll never die. But you must feed."

David's voice cut the air like a knife. Your whole body was frigid. For a moment it almost felt like he was speaking to you. Then you remembered the earring still wedged in place, your fingers clawing it out in a frenzy. Dammit! It ripped again a thin stream of blood dripping onto your neck as you threw it on the sand.

Meanwhile Marko watched that coward Michael bolt off screaming. What a wuss. So a few people had to die, not a bad price for eternal youth, dude. He could only laugh at this point, smearing the blood off his mouth. That was a good meal…

"Hey did we miss one," he asked, sniffing the air. There was always a distinct taste and scent between fresh, and old blood. By now whatever was left was either staining them, the ground, or being burnt. He gnawed on a finger bone, looking Paul's way. Might as well hang for a while, they had to make sure the pieces were nice and burnt to a crisp.

"Nah man, they're all barbecue. I getcha though." Yeah he smelled it too. Those assholes were dead shit, fresh blood shouldn't still be in the air. It was undeniable, and soon all of them could smell it

"Its still nearby."

Oh god, they smelled you! Stumbling over sand, you tripped over your own feet and spiraled down to the base of the dunes. Marko was the first to step out. He almost missed the bloody scent, most of it was moving away. The sands still shuddered to adjust to the missing weight, a few foot prints pushed away by sand and wind. But then a tiny… something tapped his boot. Kneeling down, still caked with a familiar scent of fresh blood...it was his earring? Now he could smell it more clearly. Your scent was all over these sands. His heart dropped, realizing why this was on the ground. "Ah shit," he groaned, clasping it tightly in his hand.

×××××

The front door of your home swung as you tore it open. Locks fumbled shut and you immediately made a mad dash for your room. Your mom and dad had gone to the next town over, so it was just you and your dog D/N tonight. Absolutely the worst possible scenario to be in when you discover your boyfriend of the past few months was a murderous psychopath who ate people!

Your heart beat echoed throughout the whole room, you thought you might even faint. Pacing back and forth you tried wiping your hands on your skirt like a madman. It just wouldn't come off! All you could see was red. Just red everywhere. Bloody splattered stained your eyes in shades of crimson. On your hands, your clothes, on the walls, in the air, on… Marko...

Covering your mouth did little to stifle the whimpering, sharp sobs that made your lungs spasm. Marko. Oh Marko.

You'd never seen such cruel delight plastered over his sweet face. Beautiful blonde locks were caked in fresh blood, he was even laughing the whole time. He enjoyed it. Revelled even, in the carnage.

Stumbling over discarded clothes you shut off your lamp, rapidly kicking them away. Naked, trembling you ran into your bathroom. You had to wash it off! It felt like an hour had gone by in the blink of an eye. All you could do was sob under the streams of hot water. Knees to your chest, clutching them close. Maybe if you just stayed there you wouldn't have to face the reality of what you saw.

You were afraid to blink. Every time you did, there his eyes were. Those cold, unyielding white eyes that glowed perfectly in the dark. You stayed planted until the water finally ran frigid. Once your fingers started trembling and your lips went blue you had no other choice but to get out.

Without another word you threw on the nearest clean shirt, a pair of pajama shorts and collapsed onto your bed. Everything you thought he was, was now up in the air. Now you questioned every motive, every kind gesture. That kiss tonight.. He could have been luring you. Maybe he was planning on killing you too. It was enough to bring all the tears back, sobbing into your pillow in the dark until sleep cradled your miserable form.

The next time you opened your eyes, D/N was in a frenzy. Barking over and over. Still groggy you lazily snatched your alarm clock. 2:15 am?? Seriously, D/N? Ugh, bad dog. Probably saw a squirrel or something.

"Y/N!"

Immediately you were snapped wide awake. The fog of slumber was blown away in an instant. For a solid minute you remained utterly still. You didn't even dare to breathe.

It was clear, firm, just outside. Every tick on your clock echoed softly, you almost thought you misheard.

"Y/N please, I can hear your heart. I know you're up there!"

Oh god. Holy hell he found you. Running to your window you felt your heart in your ears. It was so loud, you slowly inched your fingers towards the closed curtains. This was almost out of body. You could feel every step you made. Marko's presence grew stronger as you near the window. Clenching the dusty fabric, you tempted yourself to peek every so slightly. Then you screamed bloody murder. Face to face, a pair of bright blue eyes cut through the night looking right at you.

HE. WAS ON. THE ROOF!

Immediately you shut the curtains! Wait! The lock! Pushing them open you immediately twisted it shut just before he could pry it up.

"Babe please, I can explain!"

"Explain nothing, I am not listening to anything you have to say," you screamed. When he began to move you ran to the other window and locked it as well. He banged his forehead against the glass, still trying to wrench it up. Damn these old houses! The frame had a silver lining! Immediately he tore his fingers away, pressing against the glass. "Y/N, baby girl, come on please let me in!"

It was so hard to look away. "No! I'm not even gonna look at you," you insisted, shutting the blinds. Cute girls eat free? Ha! He probably hypnotized the cashier! Oh god. When he spoke this time you plugged your ears. "I'm not listening! MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, LITTLE LAMB!"

A sharp huff of air pushed out of Marko's nostrils. This was ridiculous! "You are being such a brat! Just let me in, dammit!"

Nope. More stupid singing. Fine. If you were gonna be stubborn, so was he.

Flying downward he searched for any easy way in. The front door was locked, the upstairs bathroom, the master bedroom, the back yard do- not this one. Slowly the golden knob twisted, rattled, then squeaked open.

Oh boy, now there was a dog!

"Fuck me," Marko groaned, hands in the air with utter exasperation. Of course you had a dog! Why not! Got any holy water too? The big ball of fluff continued to snarl at him. Rolling his eyes, Marko flared his fangs which promptly silenced the snarling muty. "I don't have time for you!"

THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD.

Rapid steps dashed down the stairs where Y/N then skidded to a halt.

You had heard D/N wildly barking, your only plan was to drag him upstairs with you where it was safe. However, once you stepped in the room you could see him standing there in the dark, a silhouette circled by a thin layer of moonlight. His eyes were glowing bright red.

You felt like a deer in headlights. You couldn't budge an inch. A complete Mexican standoff. Both of you were staring at each other.

Marko watched you for any movement, any at all. Then you flinched. "Y/N," he said as he slowly reached out- and you ran. "Wait!"

You scrambled back up the stairs towards your room, almost looking back. Shit he was fast! You screamed the whole way while he begged, nay, pleaded with you to just hear him out.

"You killed them! I saw you," you shouted, lunging for your door. It was just a second too slow as you spun between the frame and into your room. A solid hit from the other side nearly knocked you back as Marko crashed into it, trying to force it open. You were barely keeping in place- except you were. Every time he rammed the door your feet were being pushed back.

"I know! I didn't mean for you to find out this way! Babygirl, you gotta believe me I would never hurt you," he insisted. With one firm push he swung the door wide open, sending to flying onto the floor. Already you were jumping over your bed to reach the bathroom, trying to get behind the door where you could lock him out. "Stop!"

With everything he had he bolted forward and finally got a grip on your waist just before you could get through the threshold. He completely lifted you off the floor! You flailing and kicking did nothing except frustrate him, his grip tightening to where you were struggling to breath. "Let me go! Stop it, Marko, you put me down right now! Put me down, put me down!"

"Enough!" Slamming you down on your bed, Marko quickly grabbed you by your wrists and held them above your head, a knee over your legs to keep you from thrashing any further. "Y/N stop it! I'm not gonna hurt you, you know this! You know me!"

"I know you lied to me," you cried, still trying to look away, writhing and twisting beneath him. You weren't gonna be so easily tricked this time. "How can I trust you?! Everything you told me-"

"I never said I was human," he insisted. "Baby look at me. Look at me!" When you wouldn't he kept your wrists tightly gripped beneath his hand and forced you head to turn his way. "Y/n… please, just look."

This time he wasn't angry. Just hurt. The way he tenderly whispered your name made you want to cry, and just ever slightly you peeked open your eyes. His eyes were… watery. You looked into them, the tints of red faded back into the shimmering sky you treasured just hours prior. "Did… did even like me? W-was I just another me-meal to you," you choked out between hiccups.

"No. No, no, baby," he spoke softly, calloused fingertips pushing away your years. "Babygirl. Please, listen to me. I.. would never, ever, hurt you."

This time it stuck, you could see the sincerity in his eyes. There was a slow diffuse, and now Marko just sat atop you until he was absolutely sure you wouldn't run.

Slowly you sat up, looking at him. It got awkward by this point. But you had to know.

"Marko… what are you," you asked softly. It sounded harsh, but it was impossible to avoid.

"I guess the easiest thing to call it would be vampire," he sighed, looking down at his hands.

"So, I guess you're not 17?"

"Well I mean, not anymore. I was, but I haven't been for… a while."

Your brow furrowed, looking over at him. He wasn't upset anymore. Just calm. "How long is a while?"

Marko seemed physically uncomfortable discussing this. Whatever he had left behind when he turned was something he wanted gone. Slowly you reached over, taking his hand into your own.

"Y/N, listen. I-"

"You swear you aren't going to hurt me," you asked, looking at him. Marko only gave you a soft smile and leaned forward. You didn't have time to react. Only feeling the tender press of his lips on yours.

"I'd rather die."

You cupped his cheek, searching his expression for any signs of lying. Not a word. Not a single piece was a lie. You tasted him again. Salt, iron, soft. There were still little traces of blood that tainted his lips. Kisses deepened into dizzying passion. Your shirt was pulled away.

His jacket fell to the floor with a solid thump. You could feel his fingers prying away the shorts wrapped on your waist. He really was dead. You expected him to be warm, but instead it was cold; almost icy. It sent chills over your flesh.

"You don't have to..," Marko whispered. This was a vulnerable moment. He'd revealed something completely new and frightening.

"I want to," you whimpered. It certainly hurt. All those movies made it look so simple. It pushed in, your whole body tightening until your toes curled. Marko was so tender. To him you were made of glass, he couldn't lose control even for a moment. Wrapping you in his arms he took you away, passing hours away with the most luscious touches he could spare.

Laying amongst disheveled sheets and bedding he held you tightly to him, glancing over at the clock. 4:57am.

Sunrise was in an hour. There's no way he could stay. A closet wasn't exactly light-proof, and the boys might come looking for him. "I have to go.."

The words sunk in your heart. "I know.."

Gently he tilted up your chin, stealing away one last kiss. "Come to the hotel this afternoon. I promise as soon as I wake up I'll tell you everything, okay?"

It was a hard bargain. There was not much else you could do. With one last deep kiss you watched him dive out your window, vanishing into the night. You looked down at your dresser, the earring you discarded now cleanly placed atop it. You'd be sure to wear it this afternoon

33 notes · View notes

theskyexists · 4 years ago

Text

ive bought harrow the ninth and am now attempting to reread act 1 so that i may understand it better

ianthe clearly proposes that Harrow not get herself killed trying to bring Gideon back - reading it over again. instead to take the future and somehow?? be really powerful together and forget about their cavaliers. but harrow says no

im once again struck with how offhand this book introduces the concept that the empire goes out to deliberately kill planets over a couple of generations

now im not sure....there also seems to be an implication that there’s no aliens - because they say only humanity has a soul - but client planets were said to rebel - i guess the human colonisers rebel against central solar system command sometimes? but then what enemy does the Cohort fight? possibly it’s just bigotry that they think aliens dont have a soul

but like - they find LIVING PLANETS and then - kill them slowly. to the extent that they need to move the entire population. WHAT? why do they do that??? just so they can do some bone tricks???!

what the fuk

so how did the planets get murdered again? and which solar system planets could really have been said to have had enough life to have a soul?? cos like, only one of them is really known for that

why did God give Harrow the choice to go back home TWICE if he was never going to let her?

once again, why mess with the Hand candidates if God was always gonna come for Cytherea? just to mess with him more?

yeah - harrow keeps hearing and saying ortus ninegad but the rest of the world remembers gideon.

Harrow truly is totally mentally shattered AND time is totally fucked up

but sometimes in the fake-ish timeline Harrow remembers but doesn’t remember Gideon - like how she notes that there were two womb-bearing members of the Ninth who were the right age...but only elaborates on herself

for some reason - Harrowhark remembers Ianthe’s arm ripped from her by Cytherea - but now it’s whole. for some reason

that letter is still so what the fuck

‘like you did the last time’ - hm harrowhark sewed Ianthe’s lips shut? how did she come by the power?

is ianthe - calling Harrowhark God?

throughout the first act, they keep referring to time, having too much time, or not mastering time, or not having enough time, ‘this time’ etc.

the eggs you gave me all died - that’s DIRECTED at Harrow, is my theory

ok but the planet revenants come after Lyctors and also God (- God became God when? at the Resurrection) before the Lyctors happened - God was still at Canaan House - despite the Revenants already coming right...

is Teacher criticising god and lyctors for leaving Canaan House lol?

ok so yeah Canaan House WAS part of a ‘last sacrifice’

ok so - Harrowhark is a little resurrection miracle. This implies that God killed a lot to resurrect the Houses.

wow God is being a very dad to Harrow

Blood of Eden - BOE - they turned their back on the solar system. now they hate necromancy. in other words - when the solar system died, God resurrected it - but before that point some humans had fled - lived. and they can see what absolute fuckin horror necromancy is ACTUALLY

so what im getting is...maybe...god resurrected humanity by killing the planets...?

i just realised that Ianthe has taken Gideon’s place as the smartass in the room - the counterweight to Harrow’s portentousness

what the fuck do augustine’s comments to Mercy mean???? why is she unloveable? why would he say that God doesn’t need her? and why is it obscene that Augstine calls God John? What is the dangerous game she’s playing? What was the foul implication??

‘Then that is your downfall’ OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Harrow BURN!!!

what i don’t get is - the Cohort is an army - when they land they die because they’re being killed by an enemy at the front - NOT in pure sacrifice for thanergy. so why does only the death of humans and planets produce thanergy. why is the death of the enemy not good enough? they don’t have fuckin souls?? they MUST be complex life. and doesn’t a planet produce a constant stream of thanergy? but i guess it’s not dying enough - generally its life maintains itself in ecosystems.....unless a fuckin lyctor ‘makes the juice flow’ i guess!

sometime in the next book there IS gonna be a ‘are we the baddies’ meme. muir loves memes and she stuck skulls on absolutely EVERYTHIGN. Like WHY THE FUCK would you colonise planets if you gotta kill them for it? LOL????

huh? augustine just said that they can’t use necromancy when in the river - but mercy mocked harrow for having hypothermia ? implying her fundamental failure was not being able to necro while in the river? Harrow’s inability was what was wrong partly right?? oh no ok it’s how Harrow tried to compensate for her body going lights out while in the river. alright. that was written confusingly

how and why is this a completely different story???

The Sleeper.......is Harrowhark? the suit is too close to what she was wearing killing the asteroid. and the sleeper is lying on ‘something’. oh they just straight up say it lololol

ortus got into trouble 19 years ago...hhmmmmm wasn’t Gideon 19??? huh? which is why Mercy started at Harrow’s peculiar YELLOW eyes that Harrow can’t see herself i think

‘i do things face to face’ ortus says after stabbing harrow. HUH? why go for a stab if decapitating would have done the job? just to give her a small chance to fight back? (face to face?)

why not tell God that ‘his’ attack dog is trying to kill you?

why does Ortus the First want me dead? ‘who?’ ---uh. has she forgotten him completely (time shit) or is she saying the wrong name? mercy wouldnt reply like that then right?

she told him and he’s like - oh well guess you gotta just get through repeated almost-successful attacks on your life. ???? THANKS GOD!!!

‘you, with your unfortunate memory for poetry’ HA! i love how we are reminded that she knew all the fuckin damn books nearly by heart which is insane!

Teacher suggests his dying at least three times a day?? hahaha what?.........................is this purely a meme reference. is that meme the mental image im supposed to have of Teacher??????????? is this trying to say that this meme was preserved in the amalgamation of human life that is Teacher?? oh my god....

no.....palamedus and camilla....did old Harrow really kill them.....

seems like all the murders were consensual maybe?

it’s probably too straightforward that Harrow created and alternate timeline and made for a Harrow Lyctor without Gideon dying and kicked her to the original? maybe she took Ianthe and Coronabeth with her bc she needed Ianthe’s help

is this Cytherea or Dulcinea? Pro seems real this time. why does Dulcie call Pal and Cam strands and cords?

did muir put in a fuckin secondary school S - muir’s just like - im gonna put in all the memes as a nod to ancient human culture

still no idea what the messages are that Harrow is getting

This Harrow is so goddamn sick. I mean she was sick before, but at least she had Gideon. Really do feel that that helped her. now she didn’t have that -- AND she’s getting slapped with trauma another five times

if ortus can undo the thanergy of her own bone then why not simply crumble HARROW into dust? cos there’s a core of thanergy fusion in her that he can’t undo?

FLKJDFKLJSDLFSD fucking IANTHE ‘Wow! Not how I imagined this happening, at all.’ FUCKIN HELL

Harrow with her fucking fucked up dramatic inner monologues about weakness and Ianthe comes in with this shit. she really is doing Gideon proud here.

Did love Harrow’s musings about how only a truly idiotically obedient Cavalier would be the only one to keep to a vow of silence. HAH! nice one muir

‘have you taken the time to rest lately?’ asks God, YOUR FUCKING SAINT IS TRYING TO KILL HER IN THE FUCKING BATH YOU IDIOT AHAHAHAHA

JEZUS FUCKING CHRIST - try and be normal Harrow! try and make some soup and read a book! Harrow: *does and then hyperventilates hidden under her bed after 86 hours of zero sleep*

she was trying to remember what cutlery did. why is this so goddamn funny hahahaa. this book has ONLY been Harrow being in extreme states of misery ALL THE TIME both mentally and physically to the point of death

GOD IS HAPPY THAT SHE MADE SOUP AND DOESNT EVEN FUCKIN NOTICE SHE’S NOT SLEPT FOR A WEEK SOMEHOW THIS IS THE MOST HILARIOUS SHIT

thats what you fucking GET you piece of shit god! you push a prodigy teen to the brink and she fuckin explodes your lyctor and feeds you her fuckin marrow. maybe you shouldn’t have ignored her goddamn fucking understandable distress

SHE FUCKIN HITS HIM WITH THE FUCKIN TRUTH what an IDIOT of a God. he truly doesn’t understand mortality anymore huh

I LOVE HOW MERCYMORN CONTINUES TO MAKE HARROW YOUNGER IN HER HEAD AHAHAHAHAHAHA she’s only nine years old!!!hahahaha

naturally God focuses on how - wait- actually harrow is truly an INSANE necromancer - INSANE

still no idea what the fuck is going on in the not-past

aww. ianthe’s scent soothes harrow now. begrudgingly of course.

i thought this was gonna be lovely angsty harrow/gideon but naturally that did not happen

harrow is comfortable! first time in the whole book! one moment of comfort!!!

‘love my twin, also murder’ tridentarius pffjlfjdljf

‘how i crave your honeyed words’ hah

wow this scene sure is weirdly sexual with these similes lol ‘as though she had shyly undressed for you’ ok there Harrow you about to chop her arm off calm it probably sex repulsed thirsty teen

i do love how....there is this theme again that’s everybody underestimating the main character - who is actually a prodigy. Gideon had that with the sword and Harrow also has it with being a Lyctor now

it’s so telling that these Saints would rather be shits to these babies than help Ianthe grow a new fuckin arm

i dont see why Ianthe can’t work off this bone construct which is her own stuff and put some flesh on it since SHES A FLESH NECRO?

Ianthe that’s super gay

wow muir really never delivers on full gay does she??? i dont mind but i think it’s so striking hahaa

how are Harrow and Ianthe still hung up on the Saint of Duty? i mean, if they dont have him against the RB they’re dead anyway

why is the First going through rain and ice?

Harrow haunted? naawwww

i cant help but like mercymorn though - she cares. it’s soured ages ago but she cares.

awww Harrow needs Ianthe to sleep

Ianthe constantly poking Harrow for her prudishness is so goddamn funny.

‘It’s the type of energy i wish to take into my future’ AHAHAHAHAHAAH IANTHE MY GOD

‘i always forget you were an honest to go nun ... and six years old to boot if you listen to mercymorn’ HAHAHAHAHAHA

‘you look good enough that im proud of my handiwork but not so good that i’ll be consumed with lust and ravish you over the nut bowl’ fpdfjsdfkjsd this is what harrow means with crude japery and yet....

mercymorn has started to call harrow three years old. i will NEVER tire of this gag

all of the blood of eden stuff happened in the past 25 years??? god was on the erebos, but he also remembers ortus kicking the commander out of an airlock? that was in the last 25 years??

Ianthe‘s carressing the nape of Harrow’s neck. hmmhm

its honestly super weird if you think about it for more than 10 seconds that theyre talking about their cavaliers whom they murdered (im still not sure if all consensually) ten thousand years ago (!) and how hot they were that just seems.....fucked up

Harrow is like WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! basically all the time but especially now. yep well that was to be expected i guess lololol

Harrow being painfully frozenly fascinated by (god having) sex and deeply repulsed is very Harrow

oh nooooo well that was a perfect kiss between them really

the funny thing about Harrow is that though she is so completely fucked up - just like Gideon - she is fundamentally a helper.

why wouldn’t Harrow have thought of blood wards! she knew he could only bleed thanergy! it;s the first thing i thought - just use not bone wards then!

ortus thinks anastasia is in Harrow - which makes me think - why does he think that’s possible?

mercymorn now calls Harrow a two-year-old. i am waiting for embryonic genius

so did they use the river to get to the planets theyre killing?

Harrow feels the peace and pleasure of a stroll through nature that she has come to kill

oh my god - Harrow somehow saved Cam and Pal is still attached to the mortal plane!!

Harrow helps Cam risking herself entirely just like that. yknow as she does

i wonder if Pal has realised that Harrow is not who he remembers

i think he realised once he realised haz mat suit was Harrow also...

ianthe xo’d harrow.....lol

im sad that original harrow is definitely dead.... :( loved her. guess gideon’s not coming back either. not sure how the second adept survived. she didn’t survive in the original timeline either. but she was ‘killed’ in the other - just like coronabeth..so that means soemthing

this whole ‘flashback’ stuff to Canaan House is Harrow being in the River the whole time. the cold temperatures, the blood, the creatures theyre fishing from the sea that apparently abominations

after all, we’ve just learned about river bubbles and a haz!harrow that can change their parameters.

all the people ‘dead’ she’d not spoken to much or at all beforehand. like they’re NOT real, in the River. the only one not like that is Dyas...

the fact that the narrative keeps calling Dulcie, Dulcie means she’s really Dulcie.

there’s giant organs falling from the ceiling. this is definitely the river

they talk about time AGAIN

the Body is the devil who let herself be used to complete the work of Teacher and the Lyctors in his mythology....hmm. and when they realised the price (AFTER? the work was done?) they wanted her dead but he buried her....SHE allowed them to become Lyctors?? I still don’t understand why the heck that was necessary

the king is dead, long live the king. hmmmm

Harrow comes onto a hallucination of the devil who was her first crush with the voice of her parental figures and the eyes of a love interest she can no longer remember - which is actually not precisely a hallucination probably - and gets summarily rejected lol OUCH (the Body didn’t mean it that way ofc)

Harrow is so repressed on every single front but definitely sexually

I love Mercy

so there is death beyond death. does everybody go into the river and become a mad horrid ghost? like - is that everybody’s fate? how awful

ok so God DID resurrect the planets also. ? but like. then why are there resurrection beasts?

what does resurrection mean? and who killed the planets in the first place?

BECOMING NONE HOUSE, LEFT GRIEF

oh.....my god.

ARE YOU AND IANTHE BEING SAFE!!?!?!?! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

HIS BODYGUARD IS THE DEVIL??

so the destruction of Earth somehow made God? as though it was something that simply followed from it

A.L. was destroyed in the first assault? Of an RB

so the RB’s were happily running off in the other direction until they decided to fuck around and kill their mates to become immortal and powerful - then the RB’s turned around and came towards them - which meant leaving the planets God had resurrected forever.

what the fuck god??? hahahahaa

God always seems so likeable goddamn.

Harrow is such a dramatic bitch. Affection??? JUST KILL ME!!! KILL ME!! LET ME SMASH THE GLASS SO I CAN KNEEL IN IT AND BLEED ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!!!

Harrow goes into her fun kid's game of not dying to traps.

But she instantly calls him father. OH MY GOD

HE DOESNT BELIEVE HER!!!

'then that will be your downfall' - is what Harrow said to Augustine AND IT WILL BECOME TRUE FOR THEM ALL

to be dismissed like that where it hurts most - to have God Dad dismiss her only slip of comfort her only pillar of truth in this crazy old world

'nobody had watched you leave'

SOMEBODY HAD - I love all the deliberate references to Gideon

Temporal lobe!!!! Again the temporal lobe!!!

So why was it again that Harrow refused to be locked in with the Emperor?

So isn't God gonna check out Harrow's temporal lobe? He's just gonna let that mystery go to its death?

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKK

Muir what the fuck??!!!!!!!!

Oh it was.....a hallucination?

Always love how this dips into genuine horror sometimes

What's weird is that Lyctors seem made for the task of going into the river and killing Resurrection Beasts - instead of the other way around.

So say - that the sword somehow holds Gideon's soul (we've just learned that that's possible from Pal and also Ortus trying to get Pent to summon his grandma by his sword) - does it not make sense that Harrow 'for some reason' stabbing Cytherea's corpse with it transferred it to her? Or maybe it's SOMEHOW Anastasia if Ortus was macking on her. But Ortus thought HARROW had/was Anastasia.

IANTHE WANTS TO MARRY HARROW - HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

Every fucking chapter doesn't make things any clearer. This is worse than Gideon the ninth

Hello???? Am I reading a canon alternate universe roleswap au??? What the FUCK is going on. This is like - if they hadn't gassed the 200 and her parents instead adopted Gideon for her clear necromantic gifts which nobody noticed somehow the other time round

I do love how Aiglamene was the sole source of slight comfort in Gideon's life. And Crux was Harrow's - apparently in any sequence of events.

Harrow is tumbling through timelines. But how can you do that just by messing with the lobe?

WHAT!! WHAT!!!

Is this...is this what I think it is??? Is thi

The fanfic roots are STRONG in this one. In fact I believe I've READ this fanfiction

Harrow's temporal fever dream (in the river?) HAD HER (Decidedly Not) VYING FOR 'HER DIVINE HIGHNESS' hand, which is either the Body or Gideon or both lololol. Seeing as the previous had Gideon as the main unnamed titled character - I bet it's Gideon ahahaaga

A fucking. COFFEESHOP AU. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD

We've had roleswap, 'ball' au, and coffee shop au populated by the ghosts of the dead LOLOL,

I knew it!! I knew that they were ghosts and that they were in the river!!

Ok so but when did Harrow shoddily create the bubble? When she adjusted her memories at the start? When is this. Ah Harrow has the same thought hahaa

So the stage is a - she was building her memories while sleeping?

Why is that she cannot access her lyctorhood like this...

I just realised that Harrow's mind made the party food taste like SALT based on Ianthe's cooking!!!! Hahahaha

THE NARRATOR IS GIDEON. But it doesn't sound like Gideon though

There's more to the work than simply preserving Gideon's soul though. There are next steps that Harrow prepared for that Harrow doesn't know about yet

Who was the sleeper and why was it in Harrows riverscape of memories that she ACCIDENTALLY??? made

Ok she sounds like Gideon NOW

Gideon no it's not because she didn't want you! It's because she wanted you to live!!!!!

And she succeeded....your soul is INTACT in her body!!!! You're protecting her with full consciousness!! How the fuck. And why didn't that happen before when she went to the bubble?

Are the ghosts of the contestants happy that they got pulled out of the River briefly? Or were they so briefly in there they couldn't remember?

She returned them to the RIVER???? is that really such a kind fate????

Something has gone wrong in the River - yeah because why r all these ghosts going insane and stoppering it up like slib

Do love how Muir has found a way to give these characters more screentime

I actually said 'oof' when Harrow screamed at Ortus - oof that really is embarrassing. GodDAMN Ortus you stepping up with the emotional support!

I've EVEN read the damn fanfic in which they switched bodies. My god.

A. L. apparently is thought to wander about still. I think she's the body....I do believe she's the body. That's why the Lyctors are scared of her

She thought - what. Mercy is talking about blood of Eden's commander. What is going onnnnn still!!!! Mercy is the traitor I guess. But how is blood of Eden connected to the ninth house and the body?

Why is Mercy awake on the mithraeum and not in the River anyways?

Gideon.... And the commander were in cahoots? So did A. L. and Anastasia an the body and the commander all have the same eyes?????

What the fuck is going on indeed.

Cytherea seems to have had a plan B for getting revenge on the Emperor. Or something had a plan B with her corpse as the main weapon.

If guns are so effective against people why aren't they still used.

The messages are from the commander. I.e. Gideon's mother. I.e. Anastasia? We never explicitly did learn how she met her end no? Gideon was convinced that Anastasia had taken the baby. It just seems incongruous how the Emperor spent like 80 years on the Erebos and the Lyctors were faffing about - meanwhile there was this drama going on in the last half century?

I love Abigail Pent. Love that I got to see more of her.

I'd honestly forgot that Judith was alive by the end of all of that shit

The sleeper is -the sleeper is Gideon's mother. Also. She's haunted by her mother. SOMEHOW. what the fuck? They couldn't drag her spirit back from the river they said!

'you wizards never learn' there's a whole modern regular sci fi world and culture out there! Or maybe it's just a. L.

Is it? Or is it Anastasia? Or is it the commander? Or are they the same thing?

The sleeper wants Harrow's body. Somehow invaded it - probably from the river? - which means its Anastasia or the commander. Which means that whatevers possessing Cytherea is someone else.

In retrospect - Harrow's coldness to Ianthe talking about - to what her - seemed nonsense at the time - in the very first part - doesn't quite fit.

Oh my fucking GOD Gideon is fighting Ianthe for messing around with her fucking girlfriend - who is HARROW, who actually, Ianthe wants to marry.

They just went from ramping up to a serious fight to Gideon dropping Corona's name and suddenly they're like - ah we got more important priorities actually.

Augustine's first thought at thinking a.l./the body (?) is in Harrow is John - and the Second is Joy!(mercy?)

'How I was gonna have to take showers with all your clothes on.' fuckin Gideon hahahaha

Wonder if Ianthe truly believes what she's saying - that Harrow was trying to rid hersel of Gideon. It's preposterous. It's just hurtful talk.

GIDEON REALLY THOUGHT THAT LOOK TO MEAN THAT HARROW DIDNT LOVE HER??? THIS IS A CONSTANT BARRAGE OF ALL THE ANGSTY DRAMATIC SHIT IVE BEEN YEARNING FOR

Oh my fucking god Gideon calling Ianthe out for being in love with Harrow in the most iconic way ufsojdjdodnd 'she wants the D - the D stands for dead'

Crazy brain-mutilated Harrow sure made it seem that way I can tell ya that!!

Hahahahahaha Ianthe remembering Harrows prudish Ortus/Cytherea shit. Amazing

Aw Gideon really went and fell right into the cavalier/bone mistress shit huh. And trying to shield Harrow - well as noted before - very necessary because harrow has been having a godawful miserable time - mostly because of herself.

Gideon appreciating Ianthe's pun xD

Love how neither of them position themselves as the love of Harrows life but instead as inexorably attached to her by the sheer role they play in her life - they don't dare aspire to what they think they can't get.

Muir realises this is gonna end up as a Gideon/Harrow(/theBody)/Ianthe ship right?

Oh WOW THIS IS AMAZING. nonius the legendary nonius!!! Come to protect Harrow!!!

For some reason the Sleeper can manipulate the rules of this River bubble and doesn't seem surprised about it

If all her cavaliers were this excited for death, she was definitely the problem.lololol. somehow Harrow, you inspired undying loyalty in even a person that you treated abominably

Yeah Harrow you slowpoke. If the Sleeper can adjust the rules - so can you

If the sleeper was not Harrow's invention - but planted itself - then they're very lucky it got to the ghosts that weren't actually there - first.

So it was the commander....a portrait in a shuttle of blood of eden - can only be the commander. And redhaired? There are too many red haired people in this book!!

It's nice how all these ghosts got to have lasting impact from beyond the grave

NONIUS KNEW ORTUS/GIDEON?

Ok so ....there's the bed of the River with stoma. But there might also be the other side.

Did Harrow really not account for steps beyond her plan to mutilate her brain?

Is this book really gonna go: fuck you Gideon will die anyway ?????

But.wait. the sleeper had a two-hander. Where did that go???

I don't get it. If they go into the river - won't they also go insane?

SO NYAH!!!!!???

Ok but - what? The Commander ALSO -somehow - took over Cytherea's body?

'did the ten billion give you that too' I KNEW CANAAN HOUSE HELD EVEN GRUESOMER EXPERIMENTS AND SACRIFICES THAN LYCTORHOOD. God is made of ten billion souls. I think they killed humanity on earth to spare it 'slow inexorable apocalypse' and used the power to make the Empire from the resurrected. There was an extremely vague implication by Teacher to the amount of souls violated in Canaan house in the first book.

So God knows the commander went for the ninth house? Firstly, how. I don't understand how Anastasia fits in here!!! It would explain though how the commander

So the commander found the ninth house - and she died right? They tried to call her spirit but couldn't. But she became a revenant?

Ah. God THREW the bomb.

A fuckin wake me up inside joke jskdjskdnd

So Mercy and Augustine ( not Gideon ?) had all turned against God? And they were working with the commander to -... Make a baby????? And then evacuate the houses???? (For when God dies - there being a risk that Dominicus would go out I guess)

Make a baby/body to lever the one who lies in the tomb into....?

Love how the book foreshadowed Mercy and Augustine manipulating and lying to God - and turns out they did that on much bigger scale

They....meant to kill the baby to break the blood ward?

'The woman who I was pretty sure was my mother, wearing the body of the woman I'd had a crush on, who in turn had been wearing the identity of a woman she'd murdered -' KSNFKDJDKFJJFC

So why did they want this consistently characterised as kindly and humane god dead?

GIDEON THOUGHT IT WAS HIS!!!! But he called Wake Anastasia then????

They really are the same???

Oh my god I know what they're gonna say. Gideon is the daughter of God. WHICH HARROWS FUCKIN ROYALTY AU FEVER RIVER DREAM FUCKING FORESHADOWED HAAHAHAHAHHAA

Isn't it fucking ironic that God told Harrow that - HE WANTED HER TO BE HIS??? WHILE GIDEON HIS ACTUAL DAUGHTER WAS SPINNING INSIDE HER CHEST LIKE A LITTLE NUCLEAR FUSION REACTOR

They've been trying to kill him for more than 500 years???? Did mercymorn actually genuinely learn the extremely fine knowledge of the body for THIS purpose? How many thousands of years ago did they decide to kill god?

A fucking DAD JOKE

GIDEON REMEMBERING HOW SHE USED TO TELL HARROW HOW HER OTHER PARENT MIGHT BE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD SO STOP PICKING ON HER

I am fucking DELIGHTED I AM SO GODDAMN OVERJOYED

It segues into a reminder of how shit their childhoods were and how their suffering had them lash out at each other endlessly and how it made Harrow suicidal and shit though - which is great

ALECTO'S EYES. THE A. FOR A. L.

A. L. The cavalier of God....but she walked. She had a body.

Ohhhhh. That's why they betrayed him. That age-old hurt. Ten thousand years old but still the bane of their existence, the seed of their madnesses. The loss of their cavaliers. Oh how did they manage to keep that from him?

I honestly thought - is Mercy saying she knows he killed humanity? But that's not what she couldn't have forgiven?

But why did he hide it? Why did he hide the perfect way? ('it would be easier' why???)

Ah. Yes. The expansion, why would the Emperor do that?

Uhhhhh. Couldn't Mercy have done that all along??????????????????????? Couldn't Mercy have killed God all along? That was both a trick and utterly sincere.

Augustine and Mercy were trying to do the right thing..... Mercy.... :'( Augustine was right. God is much less sentimental than he seems.

'im not even mad that you failed to either fix or put down Harrow' hm guess the constant kill quest HAD come from God after all. What a goddamn bitch of a man

What was the original plan? Unleash a. L. ? And then what? How would that help with the whole Dominicus going out problem?

Had God ever really thought to make up for all the bullshit he put his Lyctors through. He seems so affable and human but he's caused so much suffering. He's as good at manipulation at them - better!

The resurrection beast can't kill him, but he let his Lyctors die to them one by one anyway. So why??

Why are they punching each other in the River? They can use theorems right? God could blast Augustine to pieces same he did mercy?

Yes! It's true! Pyrrha and Gideon both exist in the same body - foreshadowed by his cavaliers build. There was something so fishy about it.

I love how Gideon has exactly the same response as me: what the fuck. Pyrrha??? Gideon??? What the fuck??? Why did they BOTH have an affair with their enemy??? So ok. Pyrrha stayed underground from Everybody for the thousand years. SOMEHOW their compartmentalisation let her pop up in his body regularly and not just when Gideon remembered her - because the hadn't fucked up his brain. But then how did THEY do that.

This absolutely galactic balsiness

The stoma thinks John is a resurrection beast. Might it be.....because he's..... A revenant. A 10 billion souled kinda- revenant ? A bit like.....Harrow is? Which is why he felt kin to her? Which is why he compared her creation to Resurrection?????I've really gotta reread those messages from commander wake.

A fucking jail for mother meme. Jail for one thousand years. Gideon how do you know this one????

I KNEW Ianthe would do that. Knew it. She doesn't want the system to die. Coronabeth is still out there. Well guess what - she's on the opposite side babe. Ok I realised that Gideon's mum apparently stuck to Gideon and then the sword? But also did Harrow manage to break the blood ward because of of her proximity to Gideon? Did Harrow uhhhh get put into a pocket in the river? But the emperor wasn't murdered!!! Fuckin chapters kept lying. They're on a hold planet. Finally - we meet the people. Alecto and Camilla and Corona? And Judith.? Did Alecto somehow do a time twisty around to come save Gideon at that moment in the river? Once again nothing much more is clear.

#my stuff #harrow the ninth #gtn #ninth

16 notes · View notes