#thats too much of a pain in the ass
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lilyeon · 2 years ago
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ive been on a light novel kick recently
lemme summarize some thoughts on them:
7th Time Loop: The Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy! 1-4: i thought it would be a standard "hypercompetent female lead in medieval europe" story and it was for the most part, in terms of convenient contrivances to make whatever whimsical actions that Rishe takes, but i appreciated the set dressing, at least. Rishe is funny and the repeated time loops makes for an entertaining premise.
The 100th Time's The Charm: She Was Executed 99 Times, So How Did She Unlock "Super Love" Mode?!: god this sucked. this honestly felt like reading a novel published by an 8 year old. so fuckin juvenile
A Lily Blooms in Another World: sometimes all you need is some simply girls who love each other.
The Apothecary Witch Turned Divorce Agent: interesting world with just enough worldbuilding, i liked that it didn't get explicitly romantic at the end, and I really enjoyed Carla's brazen attitude. Either she fit really well into the world around her, or the world was written to support her character, but either way, she felt like a complete product of her world and upbringing in a way that was really refreshing.
Did I Seriously Just Get Reincarnated as my Gag Character?! 1-2: there sure was a whole lot of talk about how much her character absolutely sucked despite being the most powerful being to the point of absurdity. i know the point is the contrast between game mechanics and expectation vs how she would be as a function of the world, but man that point was harped on a lot. as a protagonist, gotta say, trans as hell, that won a lot of points with me. "oh i'm suddenly my off-main RP character now? guess i'm a girl now, full-on. hell yeah" now that's the true trans rep we need
The Drab Princess, the Black Cat, and the Satisfying Break-up 1-2: it was alright, i feel like i would've been more invested if everyone wasn't secretly in love with her though i suppose it is an interesting subversion of the usual "plain boring princess" trope that everyone is actually super on-board for her to become queen. she's a deeply tragic heroine, honestly, and i don't think that's the intention at all.
Saint? No! I'm Just a Passing Beast Tamer 1: if this was a oneshot i'd be chill with it but the fact that it carries on somehow makes me feel so tired.
Villainess Level 99: I May Be the Hidden Boss But I'm Not the Demon Lord: i read the manga first and this was just more of the same. it's cute, i like Yumiella as a protagonist for the same reasons i like Carla from Apothecary Witch. i wish we had a bit more on Alicia's whole deal because she could've been interesting at the end there but instead she just made the whole thing boring as fuck. probably my favorite moments in the novel were Yumiella grinding the boss for drops and the Patrick confession scene for two different reasons
The Alchemist Who Survived Now Dreams of a Quiet City Life 1-3: i had access to 6 volumes but i had to stop in the middle of the 3rd one. i was displeased but willing to continue in the first novel when one of Mariela's first actions as a protagonist is to engage with the slavery thing, but willing to put that aside, but then we had several monologues about how much slavery sucks alongside diatribes about how it's Jay's/Sieg's/etc's own fault that they got sold into debt slavery. the chapters in the 2nd and 3rd novels where Jay is there being absolutely fucking miserable and you're expected to nod whenever the book says "Jay didn’t reflect on his own part in this at all, spewing resentment instead." made me fucking incensed. my breaking point was in novel 3 where a minor protagonist just straight fucking rips one of his teeth out after strangling him and replaces it with a Pain Tooth of Make Your Slaves Obey More, and it's immediately followed with that above line. just. jesus fucking christ.
The Weakest Tamer Began a Journey to Pick Up Trash 1-4: hey speaking of slavery, in this one they spent 2 novels telling the main character she should buy a slave, and then she gets there and is like "man this is kinda fucked actually" and doesn't, so good for her, but i read it immediately after Alchemist Who Survived so i was a little pissed at the fact that slavery was also a thing here because please that's not a system that is necessary to your world stop fucking doing it
ROLL OVER AND DIE: I Will Fight for an Ordinary Life with My Love and Cursed Sword 1-4: anyway not to continue talking about slavery but if you're gonna have it, do it like this one did, and make your main protagonist claw her bloody way out of slavery with incredible brutality and swear that she'll kill more slave traders if they lay a hand on her girlfriend. that part was great. shame it gets mega fucking transphobic at the end though, that whole bit about Mother being explicitly textually transgender and then not using the correct pronouns for her, the genitals = sex = gender segments, the gross parts where they discuss how Mother "isn't even a woman, yeah that tripped me up too, how gross is this dude". fuck that. the fight scenes and fucked up body horror parts are great though. and it's got a manga by minakata sunao, which is a shame given [gestures at novel 4]
She Professed Herself Pupil of the Wise Man 1-8: honestly i enjoyed it more than i was expecting. mira's cute, this is another one of those trans-as-hell novels where the protag is like "i guess im a girl now! this is great!" but i do find it incredibly unsettling how everyone is commenting on her looks and whatever if she's supposed to be, essentially, a 12 year old girl. deeply gross anime bullshit aside, it's fun. i thought i had more thoughts on this one so i was saving it for later in this list but honestly thats all i got. gross sexualization/infantilization of a young girl, but otherwise just a fun little fantasy jaunt
A Tale of the Secret Saint 1-4: fia's an idiot, i want more of her taking control in battle situations and less waffling about Great Saint abilities and fake-deep "political" """intrigue""". if you say any of these stupid-ass old men are her love interests i will throw a knife at you, and if the book goes in that direction even slightly i will Murder. canopus's devotion in the last novel was borderline for me dropping it. the manic obsession/devotion to fia is supposed to be humorous, i think, but it just comes off as deeply unsettling when the novel reminds you, as it often does, that fia ruud is a 15 year old (reincarnation of an incredibly sheltered woman who died at 18, so honestly even her mental age doesn't add much here). i know this is one of those chill life fantasy novels but i honestly want fia to serve actual consequences for the insane shit she does, not just passing-by mentions of having to do more laps or take training more seriously or being teased by her superiors or whatever. it's fun enough to keep reading though, i guess.
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stefisdoingthings · 9 months ago
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silence
also this is from Wolfwood's POV (in case it isn't clear) i have 0 normal thoughts (every song ever is VW)
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buwheal · 10 months ago
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Unexpected but fair.
How long were we disconnected?
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northern-passage · 1 year ago
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i suppose i should do a little check in... i managed to finish ch3 of blood choke for nanowrimo (yay) but i'm still not where i want to be with tnp (boo)
it's been slow going... in general after the blood choke update my motivation kinda dropped more than i was expecting, which was foolish given the time of year. holidays are always a pain since i work retail....
anyways all that to say that i'm currently working on tnp. blood choke has shifted to the backburner - i'm still working on that, too, but my main focus now is to finish the ch2 blackwater route for tnp. i've also relegated my other projects to backburner as well. i really want to finish this damn tnp chapter before anything else at this point lmfao
i'm also going to be hosting a jam (which i'll announce tomorrow) along with some of my pals that will be through jan-feb, and i have a short game planned for that which i don't think will take up too much of my time.
thanks everyone for your patience and for sticking around as always 💗 i know it's been a long time and i appreciate the support you all still show me for this story.
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clowningaroundmars · 7 months ago
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i still cannot get over The Twins like.
imagine.
you have another version of you out there arguably living a life just as difficult as yours, if not more, that you can talk to at literally Any Time! and they're You so you basically already have half a convo down anytime you decide to pop on over via a portal
1610 and 42 stepping out of their respective portals side-by-side just to stroll out of an alleyway like nothin happened just going:
1610: LOUD SIGH
42: rough day too huh?
1610, brushing debris off of his shoulder: yeeep. another run-in with the rhino. again.
42: you didn't lock his dumb ass up like, last month? how'd he get out?
1610: don't know, don't care. so done with this week, i just wanna... i dunno. hibernate til spring 😮‍💨
42: man, what a mood.
1610: what happened to you? you look like you had a rougher day than me!
42, covered in visible bruises and cuts along with his bandages: mannnn... rougher week more like. well... rougher life. but. anyways.
they both nod at each other in Understanding
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moeblob · 1 year ago
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New OCs
(briefly, humans and supernatural beings have to team up for building better relations with each other and all the supernaturals can shapeshift and take on human appearances but also have their 'original form'.)
OK so I was GOING to draw fanart today - I had a fun idea and everything! But health anxiety (and anti-anxiety meds) wore me out so I kinda .... slogged through OCs as a treat to me. I am going to go to the doctor tomorrow so HOPEFULLY it's all okay.
#my characters#also kite is the worst socially and says things he thinks are surely fitting for a human conversation#but ends up insulting grady with 99% of the comments and that makes grady not fond of him#but then grady is like super pleasant to others and doesnt know how to act around kite and flubs a lot too#its a disaster and the twins are like oh no this is painful#mr tengu that was so tacky you cant say that to a human#mr tengu you cant DO that to a human STOP BEING LIKE THIS#while callum is just like wow this is hilarious thanks for bothering my younger brother its adding character to his life#and kite is stressed because thats the least encouraging thing to hear ever thank you v much hes TRYING to adapt#but also kite isnt his real name and he doesnt know squat about humans BUT he knows they have the internet#and so hes like well the problem is i dont want to actually say my name to you all because what if i am Online (TM)#and so he asks for a new name and then is like he should name me - the tiny one who wants to kick my ass should name me#so grady is like ....... nooooo...... dont............ and then suggests kite bc he's done google research#and kite is a type of bird and according to wikipedia has some familiarity to tengu so therefore yeah#and kite is like !!!!!! DOES HE ! KNOW THINGS ! and happily accepts the slightly researched name while the other humans#are like grady stop that is bullying the poor guy leave him alone pick a normal name!#anyway not drawn yet but there is a human guy partner for the twins and he immediately is like perfect#i know which is which lets go out and explore the human world for your research#and they dont understand how he knows them apart so fast and none of the other humans seem to tell em apart#but then none of the humans are shocked at the guy who knows so the girls are like sir howst do you know#and hes just v casual oh right yeah younger identical twin sisters - i have Practice ! and they are endeared to him haha#anyway if you read all those tags ty#and yes in his tengu form he does actually have the long nose please do not be mad#i just dont draw noses normally and im too tired to practice rn so#i only drew the second one today anyway - the first pic was done a couple days ago but i didnt wanna post on main#but then here i am posting on main#im sorry
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californiaquail · 1 month ago
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missed the bus by one minute because of my piece of shit job fuck my stupid baka life etc
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jorrated · 1 year ago
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i cant believe my semester starts tomorrow and ill need to go back to pretend to being neurotypical.
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crimsongrimoire · 1 year ago
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im not sorry for the kind of person i will become when wriothesley gets released
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sushisims · 6 months ago
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Missing Goro hours
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moomeecore · 6 months ago
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on that subject, obsessed with today when i was like "hey guys, can you two stop playing the jumping game for now because it's giving caden a headache" and my 6 yr old cousin is like "you mean 'me'. it's giving 'me' a headache, because your caden". it's like yeah man ur right. my bad . and then they stopped jumping. it was awesome
#the thing is like. the jumping hurt my headright away#but i let them do it for a while before they told them to stop. and then they did#and i think thats part of it too. for somw things you have to wait and let kids have whay they want for a while before swooping in and#asking for them to stop#so they dont feel super controlled#and like. as an autistic person I HAVE TO DO THAT ANYWAY USUALLY#there's so many adult people out there who i have to put up witj their noises because i KNOW if i ask for them to stop theyll get mad#or even on a lesser extent. like as an autistic person w my sorta issues. you have to a let a lot of things go that are genuenly painful#and stressful. bc if u ask people to do things too much they often get upset. even if theyre overall nice#same with kids#but with kids you get to ask them to stop way more and you get to ask earlier than you would with most adults#like. ill be trying to put up with somethinf and struggling and get to the ppont where im visibly shaking and stuttering and on the verge#of tears#and the mere request of 'could you turn the tv ofd#still gets whole ass adults telling me im entitled and bossy#meanwhile child will hear 'thats making me feel bad' and theyll hear that and theyll think about it#and often times theyll stop#and even when they dont they dont insult you!#and people still say little kids are annoying????#when i tell a little kid 'could you turn the sound off on the video game or take it to another room the sounds its making are upsetting me#they LISTEN.#adults have a strong tendency to#use the ironicallt imature logic of ' i like this thing. so it dosent matter if it is upsetting you. i like it so i want to have it. even#though we are in a shared space together. i wont change what im doing because i want to do the thing i like. and thats more important than#not upsetting you. because doing the thing i like makes ME feel good.'#like. litterallt this mindset is easily more promient in adults than small children 100% . on god#and its just about the most childish thing ever.#its understandable. but its immature#and with something this simple its silly people cant let that go. its not complex at all. its stop making noise it is hurting me. easy
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fadeintolight · 3 months ago
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pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
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menlove · 9 months ago
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neeeeed to switch from spotify but not being able to have my full library available cross devices would kill me i think
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gayemoji · 1 year ago
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this week on I DONT THINK HE WOULD FUCKING DO THAT: house ramming a car into cuddys house while she has guests
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theintelligentfool · 14 days ago
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im so sick of embarrassment and anxiety being kind of in control of ?my entire life? at this point
#when someone maturely points out a behavior of mine they are politely asking me to stop doing or is even just checking to make sure im ok#i burst into tears#and no one is more bothered about that than me IM SO SICK OF CRYING OVER NOTHING#IM SO SICK OF MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL#IM SO SICK OF BEING COMPLETELY UNABLE TO REGULATE MY FEELINGS#Is it repression when i try to cheer myself up or is it wallowing in self pity when i just let myself cry#is it proof of decent willpower and self motivation skills that i can and will make myself do something i Don't Fucking Want To Do#or am i just not taking care of myself#secret: its the second thing but the REAL problem is that i need to be okay with it#it needs to not be a problem#i love doing mock trial but all the stress around it makes me want to quit but we're so close to regionals and i cant do that to the team#and i hate that i want to quit and i hate that the reason im not quitting is because im afraid of being embarrassed by doing so#and i hate myself andmy feelings and my irresponsibility and im still just half-assing my assignments#and i have a lot of casual friends but i know for a fact im not anyones best friend im not anyones favorite friend and#i want people to ask me to hang out but im worried that if i dont then it looks like im not interested but im worried that#if i do it too much i look desperate and like im imposing myself and like im . well this phrasing is painful for other reasons but#im scared of acting like im closer friends with someone than they think we are#and i dont know where the line is and i dont know what to do or what to say all i know how to do is make small talk and#exaggerate my facial expressions and tell a stupid fucking joke every 3 seconds#i like my life but im so fucking sick of the fact that *im* the one living it#i dont even want to be someone else i just want to be a version of myself thats not a fucking loser#who can actually put effort into assignments without wanting to throw my laptop out the window#who can be normal about other people#who doesn't have the dumbest fucking anxiety disorder ever#who consistently memorizes the stuff i need to know and can improvise on the fly#who's not an embarrassment to my team and also That One Guy They Keep Letting Hang Out With Us For Some Reason to my friendgroups#who can answer questions in class without looking like a suckup and also does it the right amount to make an impression but not enough to b#embarrassing#who can FUCKING talk to someone instead of making a vent post on *tumblr dot com*#for fucks sake i even wish i didnt use tumblr so much. maybe if i could get into a different social media that's normal i wouldn't be so
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skrunksthatwunk · 9 months ago
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eughhh i feel dumb
#one of my best friends is coming over and ive been ghosting them (like pretty much everyone) for a couple months#and i think im reading into it too much but it seems like shes upset with me? idkk but i don't wanna ask bc if she IS mad at me that means#we have to talk about it and im Not in the right state for that atm#she has every right to be upset just like everyone else but i really dont want her to be#both bc i love her and them and i don't want to hurt them and bc i honestly don't wanna have to answer for it#'yeah every time smth even remotely resembling obligation comes up my skin feels like it's gonna peel away from its body and scuttle away'#like. i should not be terrified of it but it's like my tendons are splitting and i can't close my fist around anything#it all just slips through my fingers. but i still feel like it's my fault#selfishly i just wish they wouldn't ever bring it up. me taking forever to respond and stuff#i don't really like being teased about it but i can't just hurt them and then ask them not to bring it up yk#even if i don't super feel in control of the whole responding and socializing and functioning thing#i am. really really burnt out i think#but i don't wanna make my friends feel guilty for wanting to be around me bc 1) thats normal 2) thats an honor 3) theyre not doing anything#wrong by like. texting me. it's not their fault it feels so bad#especially since im not telling them bc that is itself an obligation#every reminder of something i have to do has felt physically painful more and more#everything from doing dishes to answering texts to cleaning my room to reading a book my dad likes#every day there's a dozen reminders of how im letting the people i love down and it looks to them like i just don't care enough#and in reality my friends are and have always been understanding. i know that. im just getting really in my head about it rn#it's been building a lot this past year. i thought i was getting better but im just.. really stuck rn#ughh i wish i could cancel. and i hate that bc i miss her and i know she's gotta miss me too but we have to talk about the foster turtle#so i cant back out now. aughhhh it's so dumb i feel so helpless and useless every time i think about anything but what's right in front of#me. ive been running from everything much more consciously lately and it's fucking embarrassing and stupid and basically im just feeling.#really really lame. shitty ass body and shitty ass brain and i don't think anyone really believes me when i blame them and not me#i just have to trust in the goodness of my friends more than the badness of myself for hurting them. two titans clashing#ughh anyway. whatever#i wanna talk to one person in particular bc they don't really make me feel that obligation as much but then im like if i respond to them i#have to respond to everyone else. it's dumb. ugh if you read this acm im thinking of you sorry my brain is being difficult <3
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