#thats the worst punchline too

[bugkrumch]

thunderbolt 4 literally is a cloaca some of the base models only ship with 1-2 of them now

[astroceans]

11.02.22

i dont know how to stop it. the thoughts the memories. i thought that maybe when you decided it would all stop. contrary, they wont stop. im stuck thinking about the last 6 months and the times i could of been better and done better. the times where i should of stayed quiet where i should have loved you more. theres no benefit in thinking it though. i know you've made up your mind. and when i called you out i didn't think you would leave. i thought you'd stay like you had before. i thought you would fight more or maybe even just try. but this time you didn't. you left, you moved on. and now i think where i went wrong and if i could just been different. that if maybe i wasn't so messed up you would of stayed. maybe if i was less sad less me you wouldn't leave. but its ok. i know she is kind and she is beautiful. she is loved and taken care of. she can love you. and i know you deserve who takes away all the lies and brings you hope, poetry, and most importantly coffee. if i could talk to her, i would tell her this. his birhtday is january 10. hes actually not a typical capricorn but that might be because his mother is a cancer. hes emotional. he is kind. he is thoughtful. his love language is physical touch and words of affirmation. hes a great gift giver. he has the biggest heart. hes easily influenced. gym is his therapy. he loves his family especially his sister and his mom. hes actually a feminist. hes a clean person. his alcohol tolerance is suprsisngly high. he likes to party and have fun. but more importantly i think he likes to stay in and do nothing. his favorite color is blue but he looks great in orange. his favorite artist is j balvin. and his music taste is impeccable. hes cannot park if his life depended on it but hes a great driver. he has a sweet tooth and probably the reason he has so many cavities. his favorite sweet is donuts, coming in second gummies. his grandpa is his biggest inspiration. and like many people, he's been hurt too many times especially by me. he has the worst anxiety and overthinks too much. his best friend committed suicide and his cousin was close to. he needs reassurance and lots of love. overall, i think he's the only person who has fought for me and for our relationship something i couldn't understand and maybe why i can't let it go. 

i know you deserve more than i could ever give you. you deserve an easy love with someone who doesn't have so many layers to cut through. someone with less complications and more love to give. in fact someone who isn't afraid to be loved. i know my thoughts wont leave because i live with regret, i live with sadness. i know i'll have to live without you and live with the thought that i failed you. and more importantly that given the choice, you wouldn't choose me anymore. that i am no longer the girl you want to be with and the one you want to spend the rest of your life with . i am not the first thought in your mind and i am not the last one either. you have simply moved and found arms to come home to. and i am stuck being the sad story. the girl who cannot love and be loved. and maybe thats what kills me the most. you get to move on and i cannot even find myself talking to another person without crying. i cannot listen to music without breaking down. i cant eat without feeling guilty. that i've lost myself throughtout everything and it took you a week to move on. i'd like to ask you how you did it but i fear that when i hear your voice i would lose my breathe. i have no hope for life. and i find no pleasure in it. i live day by day hoping one day i feel less sad but its been a month and a half and i still can't listen to our song. i know its not your fault but how cannot it not be? when i told you this you didnt seem to care and you chose to move on. im so tired of crying and the sleepless nights. the calling out of work. the torturing myself at the gym. the breaking down every time i go out with my friends. you're the punchline to all my jokes and the topic of conversation when it comes to gossip. you're the theme of all my spotify playlists and the inspiration behind my new hair color. youre my excuse when my parents ask me why i can't be more active in church and the reason i dont text back any guy. the reason i've started smoking again. i dont want to love you anymore. but im sorry i love you.

[steviecrowdude]

I think the worst part about aphobia to me is how often i see it. And not even like, general aphobia i mean that type thats like "lol remember those cringefest nerds who didnt like sex lmfaooo"

Like i especially see it in a lot of queer spaces on tumblr, by allo people.

Pro tip, if the punchline of the joke is that theyre ace to try to desexualize or be wAcKy or whatever, go to their blog and search up ace for me, see how long it takes to find aphobia.

Too often aces are used in a joke to be like "lol these sjws are asking for too much, why should i accept these people hahaha" and im fucking sick of people not recognizing when that happens.

[lapiscallout]

Coelacanth plushie btw. if you even care

[dandelioncrownns]

random grishaverse facts/trivia (mostly tgt/kos, tbh), because i love useless details. Also, attempted organisation, because i like order too. + ft. my unwanted commentary

the darkling

has a sweet tooth

loves animals and nature in general

for those of you who have read demon in the woods, he got to meet the white tigers :)

his bedchamber walls are carved into trees bc he loves the woods

his favourite trees in particular are pine trees (or just evergreen trees in general)

he used to be afraid of the dark (many possibly worrying? interesting? implications to this; i won’t get into it here tho)

he likes bright colours, but wears black all the time basically for the aesthetic

he met his younger half-sister, Ulla, when he was a seer’s apprentice in Fjerda 

the darkling is a musician! He plays the fiddle, and growing up, he played the balalaika and oud (i wonder if he can read tablature,,) 

His father was a very powerful heartrender (maybe this is why the corporalki are valued so highly by him?)

genya

she got an amplifier between the end of R+R and the start of KoS (kestrel bones)

Genya used Dekora Nevich, the Ornamental Blade, to poison the King

It smells like cinnamon and is a warm golden colour

the royal family / nikolai’s bio family 

the King once cut himself on his own sword

genya named the queen’s dog 

until she was like 11, Genya was like the daughter the queen never had (omg i really wonder how Nikolai and Vasily felt about that? ik it’s not really mentioned, and Nik kinda acts like he just met Genya is S+S, but they must have been a lot closer, right?? I mean genya was almost always at the grand palace with Queen Tatiana, and nikolai just really wanted his parents’ attention, there must have been some kind of maybe one-sided jealousy/sibling rivalry thing, right?? I digress- for now)

also the queen in a dog person

p. sure Nikolai is a mommy’s boy

(possible explanation:) he looks exactly like his real father (except for his eyes). Nikolai even has the same laugh as Magnus

the queen was also fed up with Vasily and his horses

Vasily rides a white gelding horse and Nikolai rides a speckled grey horse (called Punchline)

speaking of, vasily is definitely a horse girl, but like... just the worst (darkling 🤝vasily)

Queen Tatiana’s letters to Magnus Opjer were “very racy” 

 She doesn’t approve of women in trousers

Linnea is ~1 year younger than Nikolai

she is good at math + studies engineering at ketterdam (I wonder if maybe she and Nikolai crossed paths when he was at uni- they’re around the same age, so maybe?)

The King and Queen hired a clown for nikolai’s 10th birthday (the worst birthday party he’d been to, inclusive of the night Vasily died, according to Nikolai)

Nikolai is afraid of spiders (and also clowns???)

nikolai:

he can juggle

Nikolai sucks at learning languages 

he once spoke Fjerdan so badly a man named Knut offered him a ruby to stop

his Kerch seems pretty good tho

Nikolai met The Darkling when he was 14

Nikolai is a baritone (as is Jesper!)

In his free time, Nikolai writes bad poetry (remember that time he got stabbed w/ a letter opener bc his poetry sucked?)

he went through an emo phase/ existential crisis before becoming sturmhond.

during said emo phase, he wrote rhyming poetry pretty much exclusively

He also took philosophy classes at uni (PPE?)

alina:

alina tried on the same rose dress that the Queen watched vasily die in

Nikolai gifted Alina a VERY low-cut cobalt lace gown (In the words of Nadia, “The bodice might as well be cut to the navel.” )

Alina hates herring, but Zoya and Nikolai love it

She is VERY sarcastic and snarky!! I feel like this gets glossed over so much in the fandom, and just why?? (she’s so gloomy and over everything 90% of the time, i love it so much)

So this isn’t technically a fact-fact, but there is no way Alina wasn’t at least a little bit into women. Did you read how she talked abt genya? Zoya? there’s no way she wasn’t into them

Alina doesn’t really like hard cheese

zoya + zoyalai:

Zoya’s horse is called Serebrine

Zoya can use her lightning as a defibrillator (I’m sure other squallers can do this too with the right training)

Zoya likes Nikolai’s hands (and Nikolai likes Zoya’s feet lmao)

she has ‘weird (long?) incisors’  

she definitely had a crush on Nikolai since Ruin and Rising

kaz:

Kaz grew up on a farm in Southern Kerch, in Lij

Kaz is a both a cat and a dog person  (he just likes strays)

Matthias is a dog person, obviously

All the other crows are cat people 

He likes hot chocolate

both he and nikolai like brandy

hates cereal

Kaz is obsessed with magic + likes puzzles

actually very funny if he wasn’t terrifying (honestly?? at leat 70% of his dialogue is just witty quips/jokes)

Kaz’s right leg is the one he broke, and the dregs usually get their tattoo on their right forearm

the other crows:

Jesper has been known to go line-dancing (and would like country music) 

Mal and Jesper were friends in S+S!! (Probably) Jesper has a not-really-secret crush on sturmhond. 

He also had a VERY not secret crush on Kaz before wylan, ofc

Matthias’ middle name is Benedik

Nina would win in an arm wrestling contest against Jesper

Inej has a thing for Kaz’s eyes

Nina was at the orphanage with the other grisha kids in R+R

In the opening scene of CK, Jesper was wearing a navy waistcoat with little gold stars (his fashion is just top tier honestly)

grisha- powers, etc.:

A solar eclipse would have no effect on the Darkling’s powers, but it would make it harder for Alina to summon.

Fabrikators can make flowers bloom

The twins have shark teeth amplifiers

Adrik and Leoni are saints

general world stuff:

Gay marriage is legal in Kerch!

there was a landbridge connecting Shu Han and Kerch but the council of tides covered it

Antimony is used as mascara

kruge is pale purple paper currency

ravkan currency has Nikolai’s face on it (ig not anymore tho?)

Hringkälla is celebrated on March 20th

the distance between Ivets and Os Alta is only about 100 miles? (i’m just going to willfully ignore this, because thats,, so small?)

Mermaids and dragons exist(ed) in the grishaverse

misc:

the daughter of the duke of ivets has a daughter who can play the harp

there is not fourth tale of krigi

The baroness Natasha Beritrova is fifty (as of KoS) and has lands near caryeva

Elke Marie Smit is from one of the most powerful Kerch families and is just 16 in KoS

Oncat is an orange tabby

Anya liked Joost a lot :( (I got way too attached to them at the start of SoC and was so sad + confused when they died lol)

david eats hard boiled eggs for his working days in the shops

‘Malyen’ is the Ravkan version of ‘Malcolm’ (very fitting)

Nikolai brought the kids at Keramzin toy boats + frequently sends Alina and Mal gifts 

The triumvirate would also visit them every feast of Sankt Nikolai too :)

star signs / birthdays (ik the gv constellations aren’t the same as ours, but idc):

Inej: Cancer (june 21st - july 22nd)

Kaz: Capricorn (december 22nd - january 19th)

Nina: Leo (july 23rd - august 22nd)

Jesper: Gemini (may 21st - june 20th)

Matthias: Taurus (april 20th - may 20th)

Wylan: virgo (august 23rd - september 22nd)

Kuwei: aries (march 21st - april 19th)

Darkling: aries

Nikolai is most likely either a gemini or cancer (but he could also be a Leo or Taurus). Whatever it is, he is a summer baby.

Alina and Mal have the same birthday (they were given the Duke’s birthday when they came to the orphanage)

heights:

Jesper is 6’2” - 6’3”

Kaz is 6′

Matthias is 6’4

Nina is 5’9”-5’10”

Inej is 5’3” - 5’4”

Alina is ’short’ (5’3”?)

Mal and the Darkling are ‘tall’ (tbf, like all the characters are tall >:( I want my short people rights)

Nikolai  (well, stumhond, but i think they’re the same height) is described by Jesper as tall (so 6’2”+?? why is everyone so tall??? I-)

Zoya is several inches shorter than nina (zoyalai height difference lets go)

Kuwei is slightly shorter than Wylan (who is about 5’8”?)

there’s definitely more, so if you made it this far and have any more, pls add to the list!

[casually-slips-into-coma]

An Essay (sort of) Explaining the Many Grievances I Have With Debbie Gallagher

Once again, Debbie is the fucking worst.

I’ve been wanting to write out my feelings towards her character for a fucking minute now just so that I have a full concise list. Now, I can talk about how Debbie has a constant need for attention, or how her character has become someone unrecognizable in the past few seasons, or how she’s a terrible mother, but what I really want to focus on is the center of my issues with her: her sexuality. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about to be a homophobic rant or anything. I just think her queer development has been written terribly and that should be addressed.

Too often I see people praising queer characters or relationships based solely on the fact that they are queer, and as a member of the community, I get it. I am also starved for representation. This, however, does not mean I’m going to settle for annoying, poorly written characters.

Why Make Debbie Queer?

The first thing I want to address is why suddenly develop a WLW storyline for her. Given that Debbie started as a little girl on the show, this gives the writers a lot of opportunity to give a character like that interesting storylines because she does not yet have a solid personality. It gives writers the liberty to take her story anywhere they want to without the constraints of established character because she, as a person, is still developing into adulthood. The show runners unfortunately dropped the ball with this.

From season 4 and onwards was when Debbie began showing interest in dating, sex, and romance having just turned the corner to puberty. From then up until season 9, she has shown exclusive interest in men. It isn’t until Alex the welder that Debbie deviates from this path. Alex is portrayed as a stud who confuses Debbie. I am inclined to believe that Debbie was originally attracted to her because she was masculine and therefore close enough to the people Debbie had previous experience with.

This arc was treated very much as Debbie experimenting with her sexuality, something that Alex also ends up realizing after Debbie tells her that having sex with a girl is “not that bad” and “like having sex with yourself” (S9E4). Once this storyline wrapped up (with Debbie shouting “you make me want cock again”) the writers powered through, adamant about Debbie now being a lesbian.

I have two theories as to why they’ve been fighting so hard for her queerness.

1) This was around the time that Cam was leaving Shameless. This obviously didn’t end up happening, but I was under the impression that the writers were freaking out at losing their token gay character and needed to fill that position. When Cam ended up staying, they were stuck with a queer Debbie storyline and decided to just go with it.

2) Shameless was planning on doing a WLW storyline regardless of Cam’s choice to leave and were originally going to give it to Fiona and her lesbian tenant that she had a close relationship and a lot of chemistry with, but Emmy Rossum wanted to move on from Shameless, and so they pivoted and gave the arc to Debbie, a character that was not supposed to be moved in that direction and so her new sexuality seemingly came out of nowhere. Fiona as a bisexual character would have made sense. Debbie still does not.

Shameless’s Awkward Relationship With Bisexuality

One of the biggest issues I have with Debbie is her insistence on being a lesbian. Lesbianism doesn’t come out of nowhere. Bisexuality, however, can. When you grow up being told that you are supposed to feel attraction to men, and you genuinely do feel attraction to men (which Debbie has expressed in past seasons/episodes) it’s easy to ignore your attraction to women and write it off as something that either isn’t a big deal, or something that isn’t there. It’s a lot more confusing than being strictly at one end of the spectrum. It would have been so much more believable if they had simply made Debbie bisexual. Unsurprisingly, they didn’t because the show has a history with bi erasure.

Bisexuality has been treated badly all throughout Shameless, used as a vengeful plot device back in the earlier seasons where Monica was only ever with women when unmedicated. Then in Season 7 when Ian’s boyfriend Caleb cheated on him with a woman (enforcing the stereotype of bisexuals being unfaithful) Ian, possibly acting out of anger or ignorance, said things like “only women are bisexual. When a man says he’s bisexual he’s really just gay”. The only semi positive bisexual representation on the show was Svetlana and Vee when they were in a poly relationship with Kev (though I also think that storyline wasn’t handled as well as it could’ve been).

This fight against the bisexual label in media is not a new one but it is also a harmful stance to take when writing a sexually fluid character. Debbie declaring that she is, in fact, a lesbian after waxing poetic about how Matty had a big dick and Derek had a great body and knew what he was doing is not the way to go. 

You could argue that Debbie, like many other queer women, is an unfortunate victim of compulsory heterosexuality, but frankly I don’t think the writers are well versed enough in queer theory for that to be a possibility.

Debbie as The White Feminist

Debbie is the pinnacle of white feminism. It’s an unfortunate thought that has occurred to me a few times throughout the show. She talks a big game as a man hater and someone after the equal treatment of women but she herself participates in a lot of problematic and anti feminist behavior.

For one, she r*ped Matty back in season 5 when he was blacked out and unconscious. This was a point in the story that was glossed over and one where she suffered no repercussions other than Matty no longer wanting to be around her. It was explained in the show that Debbie didn’t realize what she did was wrong until after she was explicitly told so because she was maybe 14 when it happened (not 100% on the age Shameless is very inconsistent about timelines). It was treated as somewhat of a punchline, something that Shameless has unfortunately done more than once when referring to male sexual assault (Mickey’s r*pe, Liam in season 10 ((i think??)) and in this latest season, Carl) but that is a different topic. 

There was also the time in which she lied to her boyfriend about being on birth control so she could trap him into a relationship with pregnancy (which also counts as r*pe!!) Good on Derek for getting out of that.

Debbie has also been pro-life in the past. Now I understand this was when Fiona was pressuring her into aborting her pregnancy, and as a pro choicer myself, I believe that Debbie was fully in her right to have bodily autonomy and go through with the pregnancy. This isn’t where the issue lies. It’s when Fiona finds out that she too is pregnant and tells Debbie that she wants an abortion that Debbie accuses her of “killing her baby”. Again, her behavior could be explained by her age given that Debbie was still a young teen during this time.

When her actions as a White Feminist become less excusable is mostly in the latest season. Her relationship with Sandy is one that I’m not really happy with because Debbie doesn’t deserve her.

Recently, it has been revealed that Sandy is actually married to a man and has a son. It’s explained that she was basically married off against her will at the age of 15 to a man twice her age. This implies that the product of the marriage, her son, was most likely conceived through dubious consent (or worse) at the hands of an adult when she was just a kid. Just because Debbie thinks that Sandy’s husband “seems nice” does not give her the right to try and make a victim of grooming feel bad about not wanting to be with her abuser. While I understand that Sandy’s son has no fault in how he came into the world, I’m still gonna side with Sandy when it comes to having to take care of a child she didn’t want and who is most likely a source of trauma for her. It’s not difficult to sympathize with Sandy and see that she’s clearly gone through something fucked up and Debbie, despite claiming to love and support her, AND despite her dumb white feminist arc about wanting equal pay and all that jazz, turns her back on the girls supporting girls aspect of feminism.

This isn’t even mentioning how shitty it was to just leave Franny by herself and assume that one of her siblings would take her to school and pick her up and stuff as if they don’t all have separate lives. She talks a lot about being a good mother but decided to “let off some steam” by fucking off to a gay bar to get loaded on coke and fuck a gay man (which wtf thats not a thing that really happens with casual coke but whatever I guess). Once she realized she fucked up, instead of taking responsibility she decided to paint herself as the victim as well as spew offensive bullshit about how she “probably has AIDS now” because of her sexual encounter with a gay man. No lesbian in their right fucking mind would ever say that because as members of the LGBTQ+ community, you are at least a tiny bit informed as to how devastating and tragic the AIDS crisis was for queer people.

(I also have an issue with how Debbie capitalized on her felony as a sex offender and her sexuality to start her Hot Lesbian Convict business but I think that’s enough said.)

Blame the writers

The show got almost an entirely new cast of writers after season 7 which is why the show feels more like a sitcom with low stakes and no consequences rather than a drama, but if there is a queer writer on the team it’s not very evident. Even the better half of the queer relationship story, Ian and Mickey, I don’t feel has really been done justice since the change in writers. It’s just become painfully obvious that the actress is a straight girl playing a gay character (not to mention I have never seen any chemistry between her and all of her female love interests). I don’t fault Emma Kenney (the actress) for this. I actually really like her as a person and I like the videos she makes about the cast and such, and I think she does her best with the script she’s given. My complaints with Debbie are targeted entirely towards the writers.

This brings me to my final point. I need them to let Debbie be alone. Her whole thing for the second half of the season has been that she clearly has abandonment issues and is afraid of being alone. It’s why she’s so adamant about keeping the house and fighting with Lip about it (I’m actually on Debbie’s side for that one but that’s besides the point). They had her and Sandy break up which leaves Debbie to spiral further into her loneliness. From a writing point of view, it makes sense to take this opportunity to give her an arc in which she can overcome that and feel comfortable with herself so that she can move on as an adult instead of jumping into a new relationship. This is especially true since this is quite literally the last season ever of the show and any character development needs to be wrapped up. Introducing a new character out of nowhere does not give the viewers enough time to actually get invested in the new relationship. It’s also unfair to Debbie’s character because her arc is going to feel incomplete.

Anyway,,,,,,uuuhhhhh,,,,,feel free to add on if u want lmao

[jojobearoo]

Tell me about the boys!!! And how proud Yang and Weiss are of them. Would they be those super supportive parents at sports events that like to support them really enthusiastically?

whew buddy this is a triple layer dip you’re about to get into 

okay SO

Ryme:

yang was helping blake on a mission to find homes for faunus youth when she found ryme fishing alone in a nearby lake

yang loved this kid’s moxie and asked if they’d want to come home with them and have nicer fish prepared (they figured yes)

gave weiss a call and she showed up on a sdc jet less than an hour later with their house already being arranged for ryme

was 5-6 when they met their future moms, was 7 when they were officially adopted (at this point they had more sibs!)

was very small for their age, weiss worried they would stay small forever but hit a major growth spurt at 15 and just kept on growing…

they’re kind of a nerd, got super into law at some point

grew up hearing the injustices their grandfather brought upon the schnee name and wants to make sure it never happens again

also saw all the work their aunt blake did with the white fang and want to help change the laws from the inside!

probably the least interested in the huntress/ grimm gig in the whole family

likes cross stitching! will carry floss and half finished pieces to work on when studying is feeling slow

has very dry humor and always delivers their punchlines in deadpan/one word responses

likes cold foods/ chewing on ice chunks

being a polar bear faunus leaves them WARM they suffer in the summer (they’re very fuzzy)

Sol:

when yang gave birth to sol he was so small she cried so much and weiss fainted

their dog is named borshch because when he found them they were eating a tomato and their face was all red

sol loves animals! especially dogs! so much that they got a scar on their lip because they got too close to a baby beo thinking it was a weird dog

yang freaked out but after everything was said and done weiss was like hey cool scar

saw a horse as a kid and thought “thats a weird dog i want one” and became dedicated to the cowboy look ever since

sol’s is trying to earn a phD in grim research! they’re trying to figure out the link between domesticated animals and the potential benefit they could bring to stray communities!

they’ve found that grimm don’t target animals, and animals are a source of comfort to humans which help ward away grimm attractive negative emotions

they like playing daily sudoku puzzles

when sol gets mad his hair will look like steam! also has yang’s eye color changing thing when he’s mad

Amihan:

definitely takes after yang the most personality-wise

she likes to pull pranks on her siblings but does so out of love (at least thats her excuse)

she’s really quiet when she sets them up and has the strongest poker face in front of everyone so she rarely gets caught in the act

likes puns but mostly as a crutch for visual gags

as a kid she was stuck to ryme like pb+j to the point where once her hair was long enough she’d put them into little buns to match ryme’s ears!

isn’t really sure what she wants out of life so she’s mostly just drifting through high school

amihan’s hair will look like it’s bubbling/dripping if she’s feeling down and will only shine completely if fully cleaned/ brushed (she takes a long time in the morning untangling and taking care of her hair)

runs a youtube channel where she posts vids about fashion advice, personal music vids (she plays a ukulele), and sick skater tricks (free skates w/ roller blades)

is actually pretty toned down at home! likes to cook with her mom and writes in a journal (goes through crazy extremes to hide her journal

watches a lot of documentaries and analysis videos so she’s just full of the most random factoids (helps her win arguments when she gets in trouble for pulling pranks)

Yang and Weiss are so proud of their kids!!! Absolutely encourage them to do all the sports stuff they want! Ryme would do something like tennis/soft tennis, sol would be into some kind of equestrian based sport, and amihan would play volleyball or softball! everyone is competitive as hell (amihan is the worst sore loser) board game nights with the family is like a war zone

[fridgewheatfield]

What your Smash main ACTUALLY says about you

Tired of seeing these and theyre not even remotely accurate. Plus, im bored.

Mario - Either a child who doesnt play games, or you were pretty decent at smash 4.

DK - Will constantly tell "jokes" where the punchline is just the word "dong." Only he will laugh.

Link - A huge zelda nerd. Thats it.

Samus - Plays her in every game. Definitely a casual.

Dark Samus - Tired of playing Samus in every game. Is trying to "switch it up," even though its the exact same character.

Yoshi - Does not play smash, just thinks yoshi is cute.

Kirby - Either the same as yoshi, or genuinely THE WORST player youve ever seen. Has no idea how to play, but thinks theyre good.

Fox - Crazy tryhard, loves melee, is actually decent.

Pikachu - plays pikachu in every game. Will say "Pikachu is actually the best character in ultimate," cuz he read that online at launch. Doesnt know that its not actually true anymore.

Luigi - the most pleasant person in the room. Just wants to have fun.

Ness - Huge earthbound fan. The only other character theyve ever played is lucas, briefly.

Captain falcon - the most basic-bitch competitive smash fan there is. Not good at the game, but will scream when he gets the one knee he can actually land.

Jigglypuff - will spam rest. Is surprising good at landing it.

Peach - Either a casual fan of peach, or is about to beat you down.

Daisy - Just a big fan of daisy.

Bowser - either a 5 year old boy, or a secret pro.

Ice climbers - wishes they were playing melee or brawl.

Sheik - plays sheik in every game

Zelda - either a cool girl or a cringy waifu warrior

Doctor Mario - Will kill you at 40% like its nothing. A skilled specialist.

Pichu - Carries the assumption from melee that pichu is bad, and is just doing it for a joke. Has no idea pichu is the best character.

Falco - crazy tryhard, loves melee, sucks.

Marth - plays marth in every game.

Lucina - played marth until smash 4, cringy waifu warrior.

Young link - Will parade around his opinion that Majora is the best zelda, like its an unpopular opinion or something.

Ganondorf - will wiggle the c stick and laugh hysterically at every kill he gets. Does not care who wins.

Mewtwo - Been playing mewtwo since project M. Pretty good at smash.

Roy - Either a child or a mediocre tryhard.

Chrom - Still thinks chrom is the best character, even after the meta has left him behind.

Game and watch - just an average dude. Will try to combo into a 9 every chance he can.

Meta knight - was really into smash 4, wants to be cool.

Pit - has a crush on him

Dark pit - only children main this character. Half of the kids i play smash with play dark pit, but ive never met an adult who plays him.

Zero suit - cringy waifu warrior. Subbed to nairo on twitch.

Wario - similar to wario in real life

Snake - devout snake main in brawl

Ike - huge path of radiance/radiant dawn fan. Mained him since brawl.

Pkmn trainer - can play like half the roster well, or only plays charizard.

Diddy - misses smash 4

Lucas - will always complain about mother 3's localization, or was good at smash 4.

Sonic - still says "youre too slow" when they taunt, even though it was removed after brawl

Dedede - just wants to make people mad. Will crouch any chance they get.

Olimar - a genius irl, and good at the game. Doesnt make any effort to be social.

Lucario - a big DBZ fan

ROB - watches every local they can find, lives on r/smashbros

Toon link - pretty cool irl, but likes to spam projectiles rather than play the game.

Wolf - crazy trihard, loves melee, is actually REALLY good.

Villager - same as toon link

Mega man - only likes really technical characters.

Wii fit - just a normal ass dude. Maybe cringy if they keep talking about female WFT's body.

Rosalina - nobody liked them in smash 4, and this trash character is their karma.

Little mac - between the ages of 9 and 15. Thinks theyre good.

Greninja - a weeb, their favorite pokemon games are gen 6 and 7.

Palutena - cringy waifu warrior, actually keeps up with the meta.

Pacman - a normal ass dude

Robin - cringy waifu warrior. Will reset if he accidentally picks male robin.

Shulk - wishes he was playing as rex

Bowser Jr - has a favorite koopa kid, for some reason.

Duck hunt - a weeb. Actually followed the japanese smash 4 scene.

Ryu - is actually proficient as street fighter. The skill mostly carries over.

Ken - same as ryu

Cloud - "No cloud is still pretty good."

Corrin - never talk to this person under any circumstances. The cringiest of all waifu warriors. Openly discusses his fetishes.

Bayonetta - a gay man

Inkling - is about to mess you up

Ridley - still not over the fact that they added ridley

Simon - will make at least 1 he-man joke

Richter - only wants to win. Fun is not a priority.

King K Rool - Only speaks in smashtuber quotes

Isabelle - just passing the time until AC switch.

Incineroar - will spend the entire game fishing for 1 stylish kill

Piranha plant - only speaks in memes

Joker - Just a huge fan of Persona 5

Miis - Still salty that their fave wasnt added. Made a mii of them.

[itsgarbagefire]

Part one

I decided to read The Bane Chronicles and here's the results. Also I decided to try keep from connecting any feelings about cc, or the other books/their faults. Which aside from shuddering at the back cover- was interesting.

I'll provide exact quotes,etc as needed- so nobody thinks I didn't actually bother with proof? Exact direct quotes.

Disclaimer: This is all in fun, not attacking or saying that it should be burned or anything. Just my thoughts as I read it.

1. Why is Magnus written as an idiot? Surely he can tell what an good friends sighs mean? How can he not remember whether he turned dolphins pink or not?

2. I laughed at the purple prose of the rain forest on page 11 like honestly as if nobody has ever heard or seen pictures of an rain forest. It was pretty extra though I guess writing not terrible.

3. Cowards just say people you don't have to add in Magnus' attraction as an bisexual as an terrible afterthought/almost an poor punchline joke. Or Ragnor's? Is Ragnor bisexual too or just attractive? This writing is ambigious.

4. Magnus literally wandered off is he an literal child? Distracted by an butterfly on the tee ball field? Tossing food at wild animals? Powerful warlock supposedly all wise,etc so why? Just why write him this way for laughs or nervous laughter?

Sure even immortal powerful beings can have their dumb moments,etc but I'm not laughing how I should be at these pages.

5. Okay is that an literal beastality joke? What the fuck. "Morever, I wish to assure you I did not make any amorous adavances on female monkeys." Followed by: He paused and winked. "I didn't actually see any, so I never got the chance." Not funny- my eyes hurt. (Page 13 paragraph before last)

6. Poop jokes wow thanks page 15 keeping things going strong. And an casual reference to slavery that is I don't even know how to word the response I have for that.

7. Thank you that hat deserved to get lost. Picturing it made me cringe and thank you to the writing gods. Because it was my first qualm about Magnus' supposedly fashionable ways. And how he worries about it before anything else is sad.

8. Of course I was right- they desecrated an temple and its just a joke but I will just sigh over that and move on.

9. Best friends adding in that might be an guy as an afterthought wow how great. It isn't that hard or uncommon for somebody to ask who is such things instead of jumping to conclusions...

10. Ah! The blue eyes, dark hair fetish is mentioned I was waiting for it. As if that beats genuine attraction.

11. Oof that auditory hallucination line isn't good. 'Either he was getting the hang of it or succumbing to auditory hallucinations.' (Page 26) Anybody who has them or knows somebody who does can say its not something to joke about. Really its terrifying as hell and not a joke.

12. Dramatic much also- the "I will drown myself in the lake." Slightly strikes a nerve but somehow I despite seeing how flawed and terrible this whole relationship is.. Am just going to sigh and read on.

13. Okay the joke between Ragnor and Magnus about Imasu is kind of yikes. But guess I can safely say Ragnor is bisexual and nobody could stop me joke or not.

14. The festivial bit? The kiss well written and even the implication they stayed inside after.

15. Soo yeah the breakup hurt and Magnus' attitude I guess can understand the angle taken. Ragnor's quip is honestly what friend even an- okay whatever moving on.

16. ..... The dancing is kinda funny but sounds like he was stupid drunk and I want to ignore him being written a clumsy idiot yet again. Put it on the drinking because... I'm mad/not many are that stupid

17. Yet again Magnus' sexuality... Flirting with a plate drunkenly is funny. Magnus being all. "I'm a very open minded sort of fellow!" Is uh no thank you get that shit writing away from me. At this point you get the impression Magnus would do it with anything or everything. Animals, plates, people and thats gross lazy writing.

18. More hallucination jokes? Could excuse it as fitting with him getting drunk but... No just no.

19. Magnus puking on ancient things- apparently yes at least he isn't written as dismissing it. Oh wait- only briefly does he feel regret. And honestly 3 warlocks one could have cleaned it up with magic... Unless that wasn't written in for whatever reason

20. Is he an child? Finding what could be taken as incident amusing and approving? Ugh and feeling protective over some historic thing that gives an speech about humans maybe should be allowed to accept that they're allowed their history?

21. Guinea pigs- funny except the nasty bit of cutting one open but it can slide I guess because at this point its far from the worst thing and I'm only on page 41.

22. Their bonding after the...nerving remark about wallowing. Great. I appreciate Caterina talking about remembering they do have human in them too. Beautiful, I nearly cried not from repulsive things but good writing and the way you got offered up that information.

23. Hmm I mean the scarf thing is... And the just looking for an fight,etc but... I will give it an shot just like I have been.

24. Otherwise that was likeable I suppose there is the occasional decent bit. And look now I'm on the next section hurrah 1 down.

[alltonguenocheek]

bloodstains/ballgowns

the worst firefights dont go out with a gun. the worst ones are a masked waltz on the ballroom floor        when the orchestral peak cuts short. and even worse gunfights end with a truck-stop        pocketknife slipped between ribs eyes locked with a stranger who spins you off your feet onto the blade concealed in their sleeve burrowed through the left lung on its way to bisect your heart arteries severed alike; your last expectant breath robbed,        bottled like lightning before the chance of release        sugar-coated catharsis just out of reach and its harsh irony that the barrel of your gun sits trembling at their temple but never goes off finger slipping from the trigger;        sinking into pale arms        not so much in resignation, but conceited disbelief this is the death of theatre you think,        to be denied your last word.        the curtain-fall before your spotlit monologue,        a bow thats all-tongue-no-cheek.        wheres the punctuation?        the climax?        the fire of a gun? instead, heres a joke seeped in crimson bled from the edge of your cracked lip - the punchline through your gut being this:        dances last only as long as the bullets do,        and duels arent choreographed in perpetuity. you were never gonna pull that trigger,        dont lie. you were content to leave it cocked - a roadside sign        pointed toward a nebulous somewhere down the line so, letting them lead the dance, you followed your gown stained in shades of hospital wall. praying theyd paint it with your insides like pollock -        maybe hang it in a museum exhibit. but now its a lesson in inkblots; a metaphor for dragging things on too long,        things like poems about trading gunshots for stab wounds;        dances and open-chest examinations. well, here we are on the autopsy table; welcome to the afterparty        i hope my ribcage is inviting        and if you please, climb inside,        hear the end of the story one last time. theres not much of a kick to it, a shootout with no shots left to take, just the sick feeling of lingering metal in my pulmonary vein lungs i didnt use and now even-if-i-wanted wont inflate. guns clatter to the floor and a cold body thuds -        careful now honey,        dont stain that new suit with blood.

//n. thorne//

[pretty-weird-ideas]

Preview: Happy Nightmares

I used to tell myself that everything that happened after 2am was just a fever dream, or my exhaustion getting to me, but I knew the truth in every single sense of the word. I was a traitor. This was filthy, nothing was like what I was told about before. Nothing like the mixed matched fantasies that I was given in the beginning, the promises and closeness that was somewhat agreed upon. Not onIy was I sitting out at a bar surrounded with people who could easily kill me, they probably have the conviction to as well. The only two I could really relax with were the newcomers Dabi and Twice, all newly inspired by Stain’s actions against heroes, the same heroes I’ve sworn to protect and kill at the expense of my life. I took both oaths, I wonder which one I’ll follow tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that. 

But, oath or not, the scene that greeted me was filthy on multiple levels. There were mismatched pieces of corpse mixed an oily goop. Grease, I took note, then looked up at the horrified faces, we were all pretty shaken. Well, except for Toga who looked like she was one drop of blood away from climaxing. Twice went visibly catatonic behind his eyes and Dabi looked surprised, “Who would actually have the balls to try us like this,” he whispered, keeping his cool with a shifting expression. “Sure, I’ve done worse but, last time I checked nobody actually has the stomach for something like this outside of the League,”

“It was an inside job,” Twice made a melodramatic expression, his hidden eyes shifting from the corpse back at Toga, “Maybe it was a hero,” his voice jumped an octave, his position dragging itself down into a much more somber slouch. He has been through a lot. I believe he has the best out of all of us really, he’s always so friendly and cutesy, even when faced with an adverse challenge to stay in control. He always pulls through for the punchline. And Twice was always in it for the friends to be honest, thats all they’ve ever wanted. He is still pretty nonsensical, however. Sometimes the one to cut to the point and sometimes the one to sacrifice for a laugh. He barely ever cracks from his two points. There was just this one time. One time I saw him crying, it wasn’t much, just him going catatonic again, and for once I understood him clearly. He just wanted to be safe, he wanted to have a family again, he didn’t want to be treated as a monster. And I could understand that more than anyone here could ever. Nor anyone at UA. It made me happy I guess that there was more to this fever dream of an operation or more to the fever dream of a fantastic friendship. It was an obvious reason for everything that would be coming next. The rude awakening, the final reveal that everything that’s been happening wasn’t a dream, it was a nightmare that only pulled me closer to the Earth and wasn’t afraid to drag me through hell. 

That was when I started to think about what it truly meant to be a hero or what it meant for one to oppose that ideology entirely. I wasn’t the best at making decisions for myself mostly explaining everything that has brought me into this mess. Faced with a beat up corpse, at a bar, surrounded by murderers that I call friends. I felt as if a breeze pushed through my body. 

“Somebody else, huh?” I asked. I guess I kinda had the weakest stomach here. I wanted to throw up everything that was left in my stomach. The copious amounts of alcohol used to drain out my frustration and the cold rushing up and down my back every time their vocal tone shifted. The only one I truly had gotten used to was Twice’s change, 

his shift from dramatic and bellowing the exact opposite. “What would that even mean to us?” I asked with a winding off voice. Getting quieter by the second. The chill down his spine returned as he looked back down at the body. 

“If its not us then we could be under fire within a little bit.” Kirishima’s teeth clacked together in an uncomfortable grit. One of his sharp molars piercing his check. Seething in a dark fashion, the villains looked over at each other in relative silence. Even the most, loud pair, Toga and Twice, were nothing but white noise. 

Then, Dabi’s scratchy voice spoke up, “It, won’t matter after the twentieth, by then we can all rest easy. And get the hell out of here,” His demeanor was a bit off to me. He looked at me in an almost knowing way, sending chills down my spine for absolutely no reason. None, there has to be something wrong with the cold air I assume. That’s the only thing that can be true about it. Not some new plan. His work would be done. That was what was agreed upon by the get-go, nothing more or less. That I knew for fact. Dabi meant that was the end of our meeting. The end of our contract completely. The end for everything that I wished to let go for so long. Gone before I would ever have to deal with it again. The piece of the puzzle that was always missing. It would finally be complete. It brought an emotion to me, nothing big, I’ve stopped feeling anything major since the USJ attack, but something much more mangled. Satisfaction, strict cunningness, the thought that I was twenty days away from seeing my nightmare disappear within thin air brought a deep feeling. Something someone like Dabi or Twice could ever understand, mania. The adrenaline that made my hands shake and my checks bleed from my grinding teeth. I would get to leave, become a hero, and still leave with enough money to line my pockets. Fuck All Might, fuck Aizawa. There was a point to doing this, this high, this feeling. Satisfaction, something short that was always wedged in between my dragging feelings of uncomfortable anxiety and dejected self deprecation. My nightmare was over, and when I wake up it will be gone and I’ll have the satisfaction of a hero. I no longer recall the people I’ve seen dead or the ones I swear to have killed. All I will remember is the diploma I’ll receive and the day I rise in the ranks. 

The feeling that I’ve never felt was going to be my downfall. But if only I had known that in the beginning. If only, I had woken up earlier. Before the worst part had began. 

“Let’s go, kids, nothing to see here,” Twice grabbed the back of my collar, snapping me out of my thoughts. Twice placed me back on my feet and went back to grab Toga. He looked almost too somber. Odd, in a way. As we were being pushed out of the door Twice turned, “Dabi?” He sounded unsure. Dabi was standing over the body, glazed look in his eyes. “Please, let’s go home,” the home he was referring to was where all four of us lived together. Dabi turned around, teary eyed as well,

“Yeah, lets,” he voice was soft as a pillow, yet so cold. “I’m getting tired,” looking back over at him. It was obvious that the body we found was important. But, it wasn’t like the two of us were going to ask, we were nothing but children in this situation. We quietly looked over at Twice again, his hands moving up over his scars, a small smirk showing up. 

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine, Dabi…. But, we have to bring the little runts home as well.” His arm went back to grip scratch the back of his neck. A wink twinkling at Dabi. As if they were hiding something. Pushing away the need to blush, I grabbed Toga’s hand and started to walk towards the car. She was biting her lip, fangs almost cutting into her lips. 

“Stop that, you’re gonna cut into your lips.” She dramatically lifted her teeth from her lips. 

“How do you know that?” She questioned.

“Ahhhh.” I opened my mouth to show off my sharp teeth. “Remember? Hurts like hell when you end up biting tongue,” an odd smile spreading on me. Hopping to lift her spirits. “Ya, know, you need to stop stressing.” 

“I don’t know Chompy,” she said lightly, “but, it doesn’t matter anyways,” she quietly whispered. 

“It’s just that there’s something that may happen, something that might ruin all of this,” Toga began to bite her lip again. The doors slammed to Twice and Dabi’s stressed expressions. Dabi looking distressed and Twice had his mask on again. Moving over to the car where we were. 

We didn’t get into the car, we just looked at one another. Chill running down our backs. The two of us watching the form of Twice, his hands were shaking. Fear, it was felt from every bone in his body. 

[vulpiximisa]

"feminist rant” i think

people always vouch for gntm when it comes to their female characters and i Do agree that the amount of female charas in there is Very Good for a shounen manga. theyre also pretty well written as stand alone characters too but whenever it comes to strength, they will never be on the same level as the male characters.

im not asking every single female character to throw her punches like Kagura or lead an army like Tsukuyo or Sa-chan (eventually). Characters like Otose and Soyo show power through their will, even if theyre never going to hold their own in a physical battle. 

i dont want to turn this into an anti T///ae rant because i do respect what she represents and where she falls in this big family of the Yorozuya/Kabukicho. i just think she gets it the Worst because they pretend she can defend herself (showing her with the naginata) and she can slice a few mob enemies here and there but please for the love of god stop putting her in the front lines. I wouldnt even be mad if she just became healer support because everyone has a job and place to be important but T//ae’s place is Not IN the Battlefield

if you dont want to draw T///ae beat up and bloody then dont put her in a position where it can happen. We’ve seen the other girls get beat up badly, and thats great. It;s not even about “oh they lost and need help”. No, its that they put themselves out there and can be roughed up just as much as the guys and thats what i think equality is. I’m not saying they should have killed T//ae, no i dont hate her or want her dead. She just felt too protected all the time. Otose got fucking stabbed, Tama sacrificed herself Twice. 

on a different note, i hate the punchlines of the episodes when its like, the guy does everything in their power to get on the girl’s good side and accidentally messes up but they get beat up anyway. (kondo baseball ep and yamatama marriage meeting ep) its like “Oh these Queens are Too Good and Untouchable so if you Fuck them Up (even though it was an ACCIDENT) theyll Fuck You Up) but its always A Joke and you never see These Queens take on someone in a serious battle without needing help 

[doomanddread]

It feels like my life has been surrounded by death. even before I knew it. it feels like the grim reaper’s shadow is always in my doorway. but never for me- the one who begs for it. im reckless with covid because i simply dont care if i get it and die. it would actually solve my problems. and yet death lingers all around me. it takes and takes and takes. god takes everyone i love around me. and even typing that it scares me- to jinx it, to risk complaining now, when i know how much worse it could be. but today my heart was ripped out of my chest and died in my arms. i said good bye to my baby girl. my cat sunny. i dont care if you laugh. i dont care if you think im a joke. i am. thats the punchline. to watch the one you love die in your arms, to watch the life fade from their eyes, to know you did it, that i could have done so much more, she deserved so much more. she deserved so much more. she had so much life left. i want weed, i want cigarettes, i want vodka, i want a knife. i cant do this. i cant survive this again. and again. and again. i look up at the sky- you took her from me. you took my baby girl. you took my baby boy. you took my dad. amadeus- from now on were enemies. you’ve given me a shell of a life. you gave me a fucking piece of shit life. you gave me sickness, death, pain, agony, hatred, loss, a cage. why am i here? to suffer? i wasnt meanth for this- i am too weak, too pathetic, too scared, too broken. i can’t survive a life like this. tragedy after tragedy- and a brain that wants to kill me. why shouldn’t i let it? when the alternative is this fucking hell. i collapsed in the parking lot and shook from my sobs, sat there on my knees hyperventilating. no one cared. maybe i could have done this if i wasnt alone. maybe there would have been some solace. some peace. but you took that from me too. you wrecked me. i dont care that death is apart of life- you took her from me and the anger. the anger i feel could kill someone. i could wrap my hands around a throat and squeeze and squeeze until its done. i could take these fists and break someone else’s heart for once. i want everyone to suffer. i want everyone to feel what i feel. so many people- so many people have no idea what true pain is. so naïve. so godamn fucking lucky. just godamn motherfucking luck that separates me from you. i got saddled with this shit show. you got to live your life and see your dreams come true. i get to live with my mom and autistic brother, in a 2 bedroom aparment, without a career, without a car, without money, without a lover, without fucking anyone. i get to live a blackhole of a life. it’s just a darkness that keeps sucking everything in around me. you get fucking everything. and i hate you. i hate everyone for it. i hate every fucking person who gets to live a regular normal life, to fall in love, to go to college, to have a family. i fucking hate you. one day i wont be able to keep it tight in my chest, and itll blow and there will be casualties. and i dont care. i dont fucking care. you deserve it. you have everything and i have nothing. i count down the days, i watching them go by, every birthday, and im still here. still here to suffer. its hard to not want death when it follows you. when it takes everyone you love. take me too. why am i here, left behind? my life is not my own. my purpose is not my own. its to take care of my mom and brother. and i know that should matter. it should be enough. but its not. it leaves my trapped, hollow, empty. i watch as the world goes by. as the lives around me grow and flourish. and im still here. still losing. still losing and losing and losing. she was my princess. my beauty queen. and i failed her in every way. because of money. she died because we didnt have enough money to save her. and i will have to live with that for the rest of the wretched life. its not fair. its not fucking fair. there is no god. and if there is, hes the worst one of all. enemies. we are enemies. you took her from me and i wont ever forget it. you took everything from me over and over. she was innocent. a causality of my cursed existence. im so sorry. im so sorry. i will never... i will never forgive myself. i will never forget you. i will never forget my failure. and paying the ultimate consequence. a life. a pure life that deserved more. ill love you forever and always. my angel.

[asicmind]

All The World’s a KISS Stage (well, it should be...)

Im not alone in thinking that the greatest picture ever taken in rock and roll history is the picture that is the gatefold of the 1977 double album KISS “Alive 2″. This picture totally defines what it would be like to see KISS in concert. I have been to thousands of concerts and none will ever surpass my first KISS concert two years after this iconic photo was taken. I have a numbered and signed print of this photo (by the photographer), waiting for the right frame to put it in.

now, Im very aware that this photo is staged. it did NOT happen during a show, but I can tell you that ALL OF THAT PHOTO HAPPENED IN THEIR CONCERTS!! It happened when they started in 74, and if you go to a KISS concert today, this photo will come to life. Excitiement like this photo is what I look for in concerts I see today. Some bands do know how to put on a stage show...Rush, Pink Floyd, Flaming Lips . In fact, 5 months after my first KISS live experience, I saw Parliment/Funkadelic who learned from KISS on how to make a concert stage work with great music.

So, it got me thinking...what if KISS and their stage show were a part of every other artists’ concert. The WORST concert I have ever attended was Crosby, Stills and Nash. You know why?? here...

look at that!! How boring is THAT! Seriously, I know they are icons and all that but..what propells people to shell out a ton of money just to see 3 guys under three spotlights strumming on a guitar? Now, if they even had just one member of KISS on that stage, or a tiny explosion..WOW!! That would take it up another notch. So ASICMIND is proud to present to you some unearthed nuggets of music history...artists that have influenced KISS, or were influenced by KISS at some point in their career.

We all know James Brown was the godfather of soul, but did you know that he was also the godfather of Gene Simmons? Thats right. And on several occasions, back in the early years of KISS, you would see James Brown front and center at a KISS concert. And Gene would always give him his propers ( thats what is was called back then..propers...look it up). Gene would say, “I’d like to dedicate this one to the godfather of my soul, James Brown...this is Black Diamond”. It was at these shows that Gene got the idea for crazy dance moves for KISS.

Both Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley will tell you that when they started KISS, they wanted to be The Beatles. They wated to be BIGGER than The Beatles. Both bands were a quartet, made up of a bassist and a guitarist that seemed to be the leaders, and a second guitarist and a drummer who contributed their fair share (although Gene will argue that all the way to court about Peter and Ace). KISS had to make themselves different from The Beatles. The makeup, the outrageous costumes, the fire breathing, bloodspitting, and 2 hour pyrotechnic extravaganza of a show didnt set them apart enough from The Beatles. What did they do? They tried out a fifth member to join KISS that just so happened to be a big influence on The Beatles. Needless to say, Ravi Shankar didnt cut it because he just sat there.

In 1968, Tiny Tim peaked with his rendition of “Tip Toe Thru The Tulips”, his number one hit that only charted at number seventeen. It was his staple. He was only known for that song and playing the ukulele. He wasnt even tiny! He was over 6 feet tall! After years of touring for that one song, he finally decided to change it up a bit in 76 by hiring KISS and the whole stage show to back him on his “1776-1976 Ukulele States Of America” World Tour. He died of a heart attack 20 years later.

Everyone thinks that it was comic Sam Kinison that merged comedy and hard rock. There had always been comedians that blended music into their act. Henny Youngman, Jack Benny, The Smothers Brothers..all acts that incorprated wholesome music with their comedy to give their joke an added punchline, if the music itself wasnt the joke. Richard Pryor, on the other hand, had another idea. His “That Ni**ers Crazy” tour featured a hard rock backing band consisting of four guys in whiteface wearing S&M clothing...who were they? You guessed it...

 1979 brought change for KISS. They had just released the album “Dynasty” which saw KISS “progress” with the music industry by recording a disco song, “I Was Made For Lovin You”. While it did suprisingly well on the charts, it didnt fair well with most of their fans, and The KISS Army was dwindling down to cub scout status. They tried a number of things... Im not sure why they agreed to back Frank Sinatra on a tour, but they were fired after the second performance when Gene got blood on Sinatras tuxedo.

Nobody tours like Loretta Lynn. She has one tour bus just for herself, a second tour bus for her dresses and three pick-up trucks for her band. One tour, Loretta Lynn was traveling from a show in Fargo, North Dakota to the next evenings show in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Her bus and the bus full of her dresses arrive the next afternoon at the venue but the pick up trucks werent there. She figured they had stopped to eat (as it was a Wednesday, the day Loretta lets you eat), but as showtime was approaching a few hours later, the band still hadnt arrived. Well, as her opening act started to play, about twelve 18 wheelers pull up. It was the crew of KISS and they were playing the next night. She politely asked the crew if any of them could play country. None of them could, but they said Paul and Gene always blasted her music on the tour bus and they were coming to see the show. Maybe KISS could be your backup band. Sure enough, when the 5 stretch limos arrived to bring the four members of KISS to the show, they heard the news and agreed to not only perform, but let her use their stage. It was a magical night. The photo shows the exact moment she realized what happened to the band. “Oh my God, they ran out of gas because I forgot to give them their per diem!”.

“Cant Touch Kiss” was the working title for MC Hammer, as he was a huge KISS fan back in the day. One night, Hammer was watching a KISS show from side stage. They started playing “I Was Made For Lovin You”, and Hammer couldnt help himself. He came flying out on the stage, parachute pants and all, and started dancing. After the show, Gene pulled him aside and said “If you ever pull a stunt like that again, or try and use our name in a song, Ill sue your ass so fast, you’ll be broke before you reach triple platinum”...and, now you know what happened to MC Hammer.

Believe it or not, for all of their evil “devil music” and demonic stage shows, their biggest hit was a ballad by drummer Peter Criss, “Beth”, a song with vocals, piano, and a string section. When “Beth” was performed, Peter would come out and sit on a stool and throw roses out to the ladies in the crowd while he sang against a backing music track. One night the band wanted to mix it up a bit. They re-arranged “Beth” to be done by the four members, and Gene called his old buddy from Hebrew School, Barbara Streisand, to come sit in on the one song. She agreed, but only if she could make some changes. That night, and only that night, the song “Beth” became known as “Babs”.

If you have ever seen or heard an interview with Gene Simmons, he is all about the swagger..he is all about being cool. He is cool  when flying 50 feet in the air and blood flowing from his mouth. He thinks he invented cool, so much so that he tried to trademark the word “cool”. He was denied because another artist, Miles Davis, already had it. Gene invited Miles to a KISS show. Miles arrived with his trumpet and walked out on stage unannounced. Gene ran over to him and whispered, “Miles my man, I only invited you to watch, not play”. Miles looked at him and said, “dude, shut the fuck up start playin “Love Gun”. Thats my jam”.

Charlie Daniels wrote the song “Devil Went Down To Georgia” based on seeing a KISS concert in Dahlonega, Georgia. He truly thought that they were the band brought there by Satan himself. Years later, Charlie Daniels still tours with that song being the only one anyone ever recognizes. He makes more money from jukebox residuals than touring. Now with YouTube and all, who needs jukeboxes, so this past year he was invited by Paul Stanley to perform “Devil Went Down to Georgia” at that same venue in Dahlonega. No shocker hear, Paul played the part of the devil. Not sure how they got a stripper pole on that small stage.

A few years ago, KISS was finally inducted into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. (RRHOF) One of the traditions at the award ceremony is to have someone who was very influenced by, or influential to the nominee introduce them at the award cerfemony and perform with them.. Well that list was too long to pick one person, so the committee pondered on it. Who or what means the most to KISS? The answer...money. At this point during the meeting, the secretary of the RRHOF had just left the room to take a call about her sons babysitter being sick so she had to leave and pick up the boy from the bus stop. Not asking what else was said in the meeting, she went ahead and booked Eddie Money to play with KISS at the ceremony. To this day, KISS doesnt even know why but they made the best of it... Eddie Money blew a blood vessel that night.

Today, KISS is still a major influence all over the performing arts. Even the cast of the broadway sensation “Hamilton” has special once a month matinee performance with KISS as the pit band.

..and even Paul Stanley is a huge “Hamilton” fan..

Today, THE hottest ticket is Adele. No band on stage, no pyro, just ...her...and that voice... people are paying thousands to see her/hear her. but..she knows... she gets it.. she needs to figure out something to boost that stage. Well, she is on the right track.. recently she got former KISS guitarist, Vinnie Vincent who has been a recluse and not been seen in years to come and play guitar for her. He asked if he could wear the makeup and outfit for old times sake. She said, “Sure, as long as you dont spill me coffee, mate”.

Get it?

[tumblunni]

I finally got yusuke and makoto aaaa I am so happy Goddammit I wanna spend every day hugging the new best party members! But also I kinda wanna punch atlus for getting EVEN WORSE about the homophobia and transphobia seriously Its like every persona gets worse??? Its so fucked up cos persona 2 actually had a canonical gay romance and at the same time p3 and p4 came out we had digital devil saga with its unparalleled respectful portrayal of intersex and nonbinary characters. Like seriously how many writing teams work in the smt crew?? Were the open minded ones all fired midway through the PlayStation 2 era?? WHAT HAPPENED. How can a company even go backwards so much?? God its like... If both things are indeed written by the same groups of people then its like 'hey this game is MORE MAINSTREAM so we'd better throw lgbtq fans under the bus to try and get more popular lol' :p So yeah anyway there's these really friggin 1960s scare campaign level caricatured gay NPCs. They only exist in the red light district cos lol of course, and they only exist to be jokes about how you literally should not ever talk with or make eye contact with gay men because they will rape you. This is the 'funny' ending to the red light district side quest. Ryuji literally just WALKS PAST a gay couple and they suddenly decide to grab and rape him??? And its 'funny'??? Just cos they're drawn as ugly stereotypes and they talk like 'ooo darling u r so naughty always going for the underage straight boys ooo lol we're gonna convert you'. And then your protagonist is given no option but to let ryuji be dragged off and sexually harassed??? He didn't even do anything to 'comically' deserve this 'punishment', its not even funny within it's own narrative! And you just see him again the next day and he's like 'ha ha lol u left me to get raped, what a funny man you are' and its NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN?? just brushed away that he managed to escape them so its no big deal. And then these rapist stereotype NPCs continue to exist in that area forever so I can never be free of them ever time I wanna go to the damn fortune teller shop... Oh and the bartender is also a negative stereotype of trans women, she's drawn in the same cliché 'ugly style' they gave the fat schoolgirl in p4 and she has facial hair and a 'comical' masculine voice. And like.. God... I thought at least she escaped the worst of it cos she never gets any lines of dialogue in this side quest, but now random social links are mentioning her and like SERIOUSLY MISHIMA LEAVE HER ALONE! 'Oh man that interview with that reporter was awful cos the bartender was 'a drag queen' and I felt like 'he' was gonna rape me even though we barely even made eye contact' JUST STOP. GAME, PLEASE STOP. And UUUUUUGH all the 'lol it looks like a gay option but haha it will never be an option' teasing in yusuke's friendship scenes! There's none of that usual 'oh lol ur reading too much into it, he's totally straight' NO THE WRITERS FUCKIN KNOW WHAT THEY DID. You literally have one scene where the two of you get mistaken for a gay couple in the park and the passers by are all 'oh well nowadays people are kinky like that' as if its something lewd, and somehow its meant to be funny??? Its been a huge eye opener to me... I don't even think atlus is intentionally queerbaiting now, I was giving them too much credit to think they were actually trying to appeal to the queer market! I just think all the huge amounts of teasing a gay option is meant to be A JOKE to them. They think that people will laugh their heads off at merely mentioning that gay people exist, and everyone would ~obviously~ be totes grossed out and know that everyone is really straight. Why wouldn't they be! They're so straight that you can say they're gay and its a funny funny joke! Those silly queer folks taking it seriously! Those silly very large portion of our audience! Silly how persona 4 became so popular in that market! Silly how we're so fucking desperate we'll even buy something only vaguely teasing representation in a really insulting way! And silly how I've got so used to it that I'm already feeling like 'oh people will think I'm not a real fan if I criticize this, I'd better keep my mouth shut'... Gahhhhhhh YOU LITERALLY HAVE PEOPLE SAYING YUSUKE IS MY GAY OPTION THATS HOW MUCH THIS DUMB RECURRING 'JOKE' HAS ASCENDED INTO ABSURDITY HA HA LETS JUST STATE THAT GAY PEOPLE EXIST MAYBE YOU CAN DATE THIS CHARACTER BUT NOPE WHAT A FUNNY WHAT A PUNCHLINE WHAT A MINIMUM EFFORT FUCKING MESS ... gah sorry I'm shutting up now Anyway I like yusuke a lot and I really fucking wish he was an option. Or at least they wouldn't outright mock me for wanting it. Also Ann x makoto is already hitting me hard and she's barely been in the party for five seconds. They just had a really heartwarming side plot of going from enemies to best friends and they have so much in common and all the boys are constantly being perverted assholes to Ann so she needs to end up with someone better. Seriously this game even goes out of its way yo have like a month long 'joke' of yusuke being mistaken for perving on ann when he's actually not interested in her and doesn't even know what he did wrong! Somehow even the one boy who isn't hitting on her has to somehow hit on her???? And ha ha 'comedy' equals 'hey Ann you have to strip naked in front of a stranger that we all think is a rapist, it is The Only Way'. Fucking glad yusuke turned out to not be that awful, but still it made me so uncomfortable geez... Did the whole Palace in like two days just to get it over with... ... Okay NOW I am done complaining! This is also why I love finally getting another female character, and one that doesn't have to wear a super sexualized battle outfit and do stupid poses that seem completely out of character. Seriously Ann freaks out and tries to cover her chest the first time she transforms, and she just has to.. Deal with it?? And the phantom thief uniforms are meant to be based on your soul so why is it even possible for someone to not be comfortable wearing it? Is it meant to be some kind of stupid 'lol she is repressed and secretly she wants to dress sexy even if she says she doesn't' sort of thing...? Wouldn't have been uncomfortable if she actually seemed like she chose the damn boob suit :P Okay Okay NOW I am done I just had to get out all my complaints cos a lot of this game made me very happy and I hate how some very small scenes have so much impact they threaten to ruin that :P Also I REALLY WANT TO DATE YUSUKE Fuck u game for suggesting I date him if you ain't gonna deliver KEEP YO MOUTH SHUT *goes back to sitting grumpily in a swan boat*

[kowlsy2]

y'all know that trope about two friends getting married at 35 bcs theyre still single? Heres my take on it w/ the dream team. Lets be real these three would get married for a meme. (posted on mobile if formatting is weird)

--

Okay, if Dream was being honest he barely remembered the conversation. Him and Sapnap were still using skype for god's sake, it happened a long time ago. Sapnap had gotten on, quiet, and just seemed out of it.

(or had it all been a joke? a stupid joke between middle schoolers??).

How it started didn't matter. The ending was the same. They were so young, but already Dream worried too much about looking cool- about looking 'right'. About not being the nerdy boy who didn't talk to girls and spent all day hutched over a computer in some dark room while his cooler classmates did all the stuff they talk about in books and movies, coming of age, whatever.

If they were both single, hopelessly single, when sapnap turned 25, they would get married.

"Ew dude dont be gay"

"I'm not gay!! I'm just saying if we got married then we could meet! and then like, I don't know help each other get girls. We wouldn't like, actually be married, it'd just be paperwork."

"Sure dude, whatever. Lets get married if we're still single in a decade and a half. theres no chance."

What a stupid meme.

--

It was a bit more of a big deal with George.

Dream never asked George about his love life-- it seemed insensitive honestly. He knew, or basically knew, that George had never really gotten close with girls. It wouldn't surprise him at all if George hadn't even had his first kiss yet. No girlfriend, no date to formals; nothing.

They were older now, Dream had been doing online school for a year at this point, George was going to uni, they were growing up. They spent more time talking then they didn't; but Dream never brought up his fumbling attempts at kissing, dating, even that ill fated attempt at 'more' at that one party.

But george brought it up, late at night, quiet as death.

"I think I'm going to die alone."

The words were funny. His tone was not.

"What are you talking about?"

"I think I'm never going to have a girlfriend."

"Did something happen? Dude that's ridiculous."

"Is it? I'm 20 and I've never had a girl even like me. I just don't think I'll ever find someone that likes me." A pause. "Nothing happened, in particular. I just was thinking about it. I'm just like- I don't know- I thought for a little that I was just going slowly, but now everyone I know, even people younger than me, everyone has had girlfriends, and sex and I'm just. Not. Doing that. No one wants to do that with me."

"I'm sure thats not true!"

"Yes it is! All the girls here, they want to date cool dudes, dudes with experience, who don't have fucking minecraft server staff meetings on friday nights instead of going out to clubs and whatever."

"Like you'd even want to date a girl who goes out and gets trashed on a friday night."

"I'd date anyone at this point. but no one would date me, much less like, marry me."

"Marry you? Dude what are you talking about, marriage is like, so far away from us"

"Not really Dream. My mum got married a year after she graduated uni, thats only a few years away. Most people get married in their 20s, and I can't even get a single date with a girl."

"Dude, worst comes to worst, if you're like, 29 and still single I'll marry you."

"Please don't joke about this"

"I'm not! If we are both single, and you're almost 30, and you still haven't found a girlfriend, I'll marry you, and they you can come live in the US, easy, and all the girls will love you for your accent if nothing else"

"ha ha ha"

"Oh, don't you be sarcasitc. I'd marry you and we could just like, be friends, and live together, and it'd be so much fun. I'd totally do it."

"oh yea, and our youtube channels will have 3 million subscribes each, and minecraft will be more popular than fortnite again."

"Georgeeee just say youllll marryyy mee"

"Fine. If I'm still single in 8 years lets get married Dream."

It was barely a meme this time. But it worked.

--

He never should have included the bit with the berries in the final video. Sapnap and George had just been so funny, it felt wrong to cut it out. Dream sometimes worried that viewers didn't understand George and Sapnaps relationship, thought that they were just both his friends, so they hung out together, but this clip finally showed that they had their own relationship, their own friendship outside of him.

Even as he was touching it up he knew he was letting them outshine him in his own video. Now it felt like the meme followed him everywhere, cutting him out of the punchline, even in his own streams.

"George! Thank you so much for grabing this bonemeal for me!"

"oH you're so welcome Sapnap! Anytime!"

"Wow george you're so kind and generous!"

"Sapnap you're so polite! and it's such a good job you're doing with the farm!"

"Thank you so much George! I'm so glad you've taken the time to let me know that I'm appreciated!"

Dream had to do something before the entire stream got derailed; he had a goal and he wasn't going to let his idiot best friends upset if.

"yes yes you're both wonderful people, so generous, ladies they are single."

Oh my god how didn't I notice! George, you're like, perfect husband material!"

"Sapnap youre also going to be amazing husband, so kind, and hardworking and-"

Chat was in shambles, Dream would need to act fast if he ever had a chance at getting them to stop.

"well if you're both such good husband material why don't you marry each other?"

That would stop them in their tracks.

"Oh Dream that's such a good idea! Sapnap, love of my life, will you marry me?"

Or not.

(Dream always forgot how much more confident George was when he wasn't the one streaming)

"Oh George! Yes! a million times yes! As soon as you come to the states!"

The meme was much funnnier this time.

--

It may have been a stupid idea. A face reveal, and a meet-and-greet and meeting George and Sapnap in person for the first time, all at the same time.

But hey, Dream wasn't famous for forthought. He was famous for cluches.

By this point (5 million subscribers oh my god) George and Sapnap getting married had been a well established meme.

Him and George hadn't ever talked about That Conversation again, but sometimes, he'd send george funny articles about people marrying to get green cards, or videos of american women swooning over British accents. (it still wasn't that much of a meme, but it seemed less likely now. They had all grown so much, become so much more sure in themselves), and sometimes George sent them to Dream as well.

He had forgotten about his conversation with Sapnap, years ago, before it all started.

But before leaving for vidcon he needed something soothing, something mindless, so he had been sorting through old accounts, deleting anything he hadn't used in years.

And he found his oldest skype account.

Of course all three of them had planned to get married to each other, like something out of a shitty fanfic.

But that didn't mean it wasn't funny.

So he bought them matching rings.

Sue him. He had the money.

Dream had planned to do it at his face reveal, but, it got much, much too chaotic fast, and he didn't think fake proposing to his two best friends would calm people down.

So he did it afterwards.

I mean he already had the rings.

"What is this?"

"Relax, dude, its a joke--mostly."

"What??"

Okay maybe it felt a little stupid when they were both looking at him.

"okay so basically-- I was looking at super old skype logs, and Sapnap, Nick, whatever, do you remember like, back in like 2014, we were both like, freaking out about not having girlfriends"

"oh wait-- yeah--"

"--so we said that if we were both single when we were 25 we would get married?"

"yeah, to like better be wingmen or whatever--"

"--so basically, here you go."

Dream slides the first box across the table. It has a ring in it, 2 rings of plain gold with a pressed ring of volcanic glass-- obsidian-- in the middle. He has a matching one on a chain around his neck, hidden, and a third in the box sitting in front of him.

He slides it over to George.

"and George I figured that all of our schemes about marrying so you could come live over here--"

"You guys were planning what?"

"-- and I think that you probably don't need to do that anymore, but I thought you might need this too. If you ever need a reason to stay in the states, well, there you go."

God he was awkward in real life.

"I don't know what to say--"

"God don't say anything-- Especially not on twitter-- But. Just. Thank you, so much. For being my friend. I can't marry both of you, and honestly, I'm pretty sure I should just wait and marry a girl for real, but. I'm so glad you both are in my life, and I hope you both stay in it for a long time. Like marriage or, something like that."

It's not a meme at all this time.