#thats the hope baha

[intotheelliwoods]

STICKERS ARE HERE.

Anyways now it is just a waiting game for the keychains to arrive before I can sell stuff! Everyone send your best wishes over in hopes the keychains do not get lost in overseas transit haha

[marblerose-rue]

im soo back and forth on my ponysona's design but i really like this one <3

[moonstruckme]

PLEASE UNDERSTAND, THAT YES, WE LOVE YOU AND YOUR WRITING VERY VERY MUH, BUT YOUR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH COME BEFORE TUMBLR. YOU HAVE OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES AND THATS AWESOME AND YOU DONT HAVE TO BE CONSTAMTLG WRITING, YOU ARE AMAZUNG <3 <3 :]

(SORRY FOR TYPOS, IM WALKIJG OUTSIDE AND CAN BARELT SEE MY PHONE SCREEN RN)

BAHA THANKS MY LOVE!! I appreciate that you took the time to write this even when you were trying to walk. (I hope you got to your destination safely!) Don’t worry about me sweetheart, I truly don’t write because I feel any sort of pressure from y’all, it’s more that I see the requests coming in and then one or two will turn over in my head all day and they’re so interesting I can’t let them go! But I do really appreciate the support in this, since I anticipate being pretty busy over the next few weeks and not having quite as much time to write. Thank you! <33

[valleynix]

okay but i can’t stop thinking about how bela would’ve apologized for attacking reader after going feral in episode 8 like ik my bby would’ve been so sad that she couldn’t control herself :(

SHE WOULD'VE BEEN, the poor baby :( it's why i included the line, "Bela watches you go sadly, almost like a lost and confused puppy that doesn’t quite understand that it did anything wrong." like... the part of her that's still gripping onto her humanity knows she did something wrong, but the lost-control part of her is kinda clouding her actions? if that makes sense

i may... have a small excerpt on what Bela would act like, assuming the Reader didn't go back, instead kinda unintentionally forcing her to deal with the consequences of her actions in the forest :(

(A/N: this is how the chapter was actually supposed to go, but yknow. things change in the writing process, but here's what Bela would have acted like, if the story continued from the Forest Scene)

You sigh in frustration and close the book you'd been trying to read for the last hour. You couldn't focus; you're not sure why, but your mind returned to the day's events, replaying everything over and over until you were sick to your stomach.

Cassandra had wrapped your leg as best she could, insisting you get plenty of rest so that it could actually heal. That wasn't really possible when you were left alone and worried if she would come back while still in her feral mood.

You know better than to think Bela would have ever hurt you intentionally. She wasn't in her right mind, her judgement clouded and control lost from the blood she'd drank. She doesn't see you as her prey, something she's assured you of time and time again.

Still, you can't help the way your heart drops to your stomach when you hear buzzing or someone snapping orders down the hall. Your mind is ready to reach for someone to help if the worst happens, but so far, she seems to have been on the complete other side of the castle since returning.

You flop against the pillows on your bed and stare up at the ceiling, mind wandering once more. You'd prefer if it didn't do that, but you suppose you don't really have a choice.

You don't get far in your mind and the contents within when you hear a quiet knock on your door. Snapping to attention almost immediately, you sit back up on your bed, eyes already on the door. Your room has darkened considerably from when you were first carried inside, but you can still see well enough. It's the only thing that keeps you a little sane.

"Little one?" comes Bela's voice, soft as it drifts into your ears. You stiffen, your heart picking up its pace as your fingers clench in the blankets beneath you. You don't know how you didn't feel her- "Might... I come in? I understand if you don't feel safe enough to allow it."

Oh.

Your jaw clenches as you look away from the door and toward the fireplace. At the very least, it seemed she was a little more sane now. She probably wouldn't tear out your throat anytime soon, but-

"The... door is open," you call out, sealing your fate in just four words. You swallow and look down at your lap. "It always is."

It takes a moment for the door to slowly creak, and you watch as Bela peeks her head in, eyes finding you immediately. She looks away just as quickly, her hood covering her features as she ducks her head and enters your room.

She hides something behind her back as she moves toward the fireplace, keeping whatever it is hidden from your sight. You watch her curiously, brows furrowing when she fidgets with the object.

"How's your leg?" she quietly asks. It seems as though she's intentionally keeping a lot of distance between the two of you, and part of you is thankful for it. "I... know sickle wounds can be difficult to heal."

Your eyes narrow at her as she refuses to look your way. "It's fine."

She nods and glances at the ceiling. Despite the light hitting her back and casting her entire body in darkness, you see the smeared mascara on her shadowed cheeks.

Oh, no-

"Good, that's..." She takes in a shaky breath, looking back down as she brings her hands away from her back. God, this is so awkward. You didn't think she could ever be such a thing, but here you were. "I'm sure the other books you have in here... You've read them, right? I-I have another one, it's... one I don't show to others."

Your head tilts at her, heart still pounding against your ribcage. You're in a confined space with a murderer-

But she's given you no reason to doubt her motives, not yet. Besides, before today's events, you actually liked being in her presence. Nothing has changed. She made a mistake, one she couldn't control, and you had survived.

She's still the same Bela you were quickly falling for, the one that kissed you like she was afraid you would shatter in her hands if she let you go for even a second.

You trust her.

"That's not why you came here, is it?"

She finally meets your gaze for a few moments, dull eyes searching yours. She looks back down at the book in her hands, shaking her head. "No, I... I came to apologize."

She takes a deep breath, looking back up at you as she takes a step forward-

You try to resist, but some part of your mind forces you to flinch away as she steps forward.

Bela freezes, eyes widening as she watches you, as your heart thunders in your chest.

She clenches her jaw and looks down at the floor, fingers tightening around the book in her hands. Her shoulders shake, breath shuddering as she releases it-

Your mind reaches for hers, just for a brief moment. You think it means to comfort her, to pull her away from a point of no return. You hear her, every thought as it speeds through her mind at a pace you struggle to keep up with.

Your fault-

Did this-

Supposed to be afraid-

Monster.

Killer.

Freak-

"Lady Bela," you softly say, shifting your body toward her. She tenses again, eyes flicking up to meet yours. "It's... I didn't mean to. I'm not afraid of you."

That's a lie, but it's what she needs to hear right now.

"Can I..." She sets the book down on the table in front of your fireplace, all tension releasing from her bones as she does so. She merely fidgets with her gloves as she watches you again, clearly debating what to say next. "May I sit with you?"

Yeah, this is the Bela you adore to little pieces.

You nod and shift, lightly patting the empty spot beside you. Her eyes light up at the gesture, and she slowly moves toward the other side of your bed, ensuring you can see every part of her as she sits down on the edge, her back turned toward you.

She brings a hand up, running it through her hair as she lowers her hood. "Today was..." She shakes her head, picking at the hem of her glove again. Nervous habit? "I'm... I'm sorry, little one. I should have better control over myself, over that side I try to keep from you. I didn't intend to..."

The more she speaks, the more her voice shakes. Your heart cracks as you listen to her, fingers clenching in the blanket again.

She shifts and shakes her head again, bowing it. "I understand not trusting me, and I will do what it takes to ensure your safety in the future. I won't ask that you forgive me; I... I don't deserve it, not after what I did."

You frown at her back. "My lady-"

"I try so hard to be like Mother, and I... If I can't even control my urges around someone I care for, how could I ever expect to run things around the castle? It needs someone that can-"

"Listen to me-"

"-properly keep their self-control on a tight leash, and I know I'm not- You can find someone so much better-"

You move toward her, your hand resting on her back, right between her shoulder blades. She stiffens at the touch, head snapping to you as she watches you with wide eyes. You see the tear tracks on her face, smearing her mascara until it dripped down her cheeks.

"It's not your fault," you murmur. You try to bring her back from that place she would struggle to return from. Gently, you lift your hand to her cheek, cupping it as your thumb swipes over the tears staining her pale skin. She nearly sobs at the simple affection you give her, lips twitching down like she wants to cry- "Really, I'm fine. Mistakes happen, and I know you didn't want to do it. So, it's... It'll be fine."

Her eyes flick away from you as she moves to lower her head onto your shoulder, still keeping her movements slow. Your hand slides into her hair as you hold her head against you, and upon seeing you don't flinch away from her this time, her stiff and tense limbs melt against you.

She wraps her arms beneath your shoulders to grip onto the back of your clothing, and her head settles against your own as a sob escapes her, fingers clenching tighter on you. Your other arm encases her and holds her as she cries, telling you apology after apology until her words are nothing more than incoherent mumbles.

Eventually, you move her to sit a little more comfortably as you lean against your pillows again. She freezes at the action, the fear of you leaving her clear in her teary eyes, but when you open your arms again, she climbs back into your embrace almost immediately.

"I'm so sorry, little one," she whispers, her lips against the hollow of your throat. You bring your hand back to her hair, nails gently scraping against her scalp. A few of her bugs buzz at the sensation, crawling gently on your skin as you hold her tight, lips against the top of her blonde hair. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

You shush her, tugging her a little closer. Her head rests on your chest, her ear right over your heart beating against your ribcage. One of her hands idly draws shapes on your shoulder, and her other rests somewhere under your neck.

Her cries quiet, eventually, and her breathing evens out soon after. Her chest rises and falls rhythmically, and once her hand stills on your shoulder, you know she's fallen asleep.

She may be your protector in most other circumstances - standing tall and fearless as she defends you against anything willing to test their luck - but, just for tonight, you can be her protector.

There were certainly worse ways to fall asleep.

[calciferstims]

izzy hands anon here. so i was gonna reply to you the day after you had replied to what it is because it was getting late and i needed to rehearse some words but then...i got maaaad sick, like i rarely get sick. it was strange bc i had felt weird since thursday and then i got fever and felt like a punched rice bag the entire day 😶. still had fever today but i feel a tad bit better now so ima take the opportunity in replying to it now!

huehue when i read this "you do NOT have to read all of this oh god please don’t force yourself to read it. I’m serious." i was thinking "hahaha you bet i am gonna do it anyways!!"

ngl i wasnt thinking he was from a show, much less from this one lmfao i thought he was some...idek, random dude or sommet baha.

wait what "one time he moaned ‘daddy’ on screen because he was???? trying to make fun of someone I guess??? but it traumatized many people." LMFAOO??? he moaned daddy and it traumatised a lot of people lmfaoooooo I CANT. THATS HILARIOUS WHAT EVEN?? 😂

"he has like, these insanity-inducing micro expressions going on in the background at all times." AHAHAHA WHATTT 😂

"you can just feel him VIBRATING with repressed gay thoughts" okay by now i gotta say, the way you explain things is fucking hilarious lmaoo. i was gonna say he doesnt look too angry, but then i thought if this gif was shown with no context then yea, i think he does look angry lol, or more like frustrated.

okay i read it all and i gotta say, this is definitely not what i had thought was gonna be said. idk what i thought but...this wasnt it lmfao. his names soooo fucking random. who tf names a character IZZY hands. and now all i see is that dino rb'ing the flaming izzy hands hahah

Ohhh nooo I hope you feel better soon!!! 🥺 that sucks, def get some rest and relax!

And yeah, he’s from the beloved gay pirate show that consumed tumblr 😂 I simply watched a show with the the most groundbreaking queer rep I’ve ever seen, the sweetest most tender gay pirate couple as the main center, only to shove aside everyone else and point at the worst guy ever and go ‘that one. that repressed homophobic bitch in the corner that one’s mine’.

DHSGH THE DADDY SCENE IS So Much™️ ITS SO BAD LMAO. Pretty sure he’s like. Trying to do this weird homophobic impression of stereotypical gay people but he just gets WAY too into it and completely exposes his whore gay ass SGHSGHSHS. Also fun fact apparently it was supposed to be even longer but they cut it for time…. The fucking mad lad just kept going… absolutely desperate to see that tbh. Give us the extended daddy cut NOW.

I would share a gif of the daddy scene but honestly I am not brave enough for that

God Con O’Neill and his expressions are SOO good… tbh I’m also probably just biased and overanalyzing a lot of shit!!! But he’s rlly rlly good and I have seen the creators of the show and his fellow actors praise him a lot for his work as Izzy lmao so I’m probably not just going insane. He rlly put everything into every second of his screentime and I thank him for it 🙏

Why thank you I try to be comedic 😌😌

His name IS weird lmao 😂 mf literally named Hands… people call him Mr. Hands with a straight face… to be fair it’s not like they made it up for the show like Israel Hands was a legit dude! He even appears in other pirate media! But apparently for ofmd they were like no…. His name isn’t stupid enough….. we must nickname him Izzy too… that old man looks like an Izzy…….

also I FOUND MORE DUMB IZZY PICS I COULDN’T FIND LAST TIME YAY

ty for indulging me anon lmao <33

[rurihana]

YAYYYY yeah we can definitely use soulmates sinxe soulmates has no definitive type of love :3 s-so do you think id-

Would i be too heavy to maybe uh, sit in your lap >//_//< GAHH and what do you mean by "someone like you" you are amazing!! I adore you so much, your reactions are so cute and im so attached to- you i hope thats not too much but GAHH we can call each other best friends, soulmates, lovers (since lovers also has no certain definition of uhm love!) Or uhm make our own terMS SKSJKXJSKXH w-whatever you want i justnsksjjx OR NO LABEL, i just hhhskdjdhskxknsksoxhskkdbskxhkwhxkwkxhxk i just love you and want to.. to be your best friend, your henry... forever >_< ♡♡♡ i wanna smooch you so much and cuddle and hold hands eeee!!

And if its not weird you could totally use my big tummy as a pillow >//.//< and uhm i dont mind if you- play around with my chub BAHA, uhm whether its my thighs, arms, tummy, whatever youre comfortable with, im fine with just sitting near you i just hskskxi i love your existence and you can make your posts as long as you want, i am interested in every little thing you have to say 🥺🥺🥺

Okay, first off: IN. DI. GO. YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP SENDING ME SWEET THINGS!!! I WILL DIE!!! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE??? (Don't actually stop though. I think I'd cry LOL)

Where do I even start with replying?! And how can you just say stuff like this? It's so not fair.. making my intimacy level go up without even warning me!!! Shouldn't I be doing that? UUUUUUUGHHH. Where are my epic dating sim skills when I need them???

...Okay, I think I've got it. I think?

Well, it's true that I just sit around in my room all day, but I'm actually pretty strong, you know? So, don't worry about it. If you want to sit in my lap, then.. I guess you can do that. If you want. And before you get any ideas- it's not like I would want you to sit there or anything!!! So don't take this the wrong way! Or maybe do? No, don't!

Ugh, this totally sucks... I'm not being cool at all!!!

Alright, never mind all of that!!! You want to be something with me? I can't understand why, but it makes me happy, so... of course! We can be whatever you want!

[adhdvane]

i don’t think i’ve screamed enough about how much i love haaselia like her fucking story, i fucking cried, especially during encounter v, like holy fucking christ, pls my queen i am 1000 fucking percent here for you revenge you do not need to hide it from me. her and the moon having that conversation about how her best course of action is not to be empress but set her brother up to rule and use him as a puppet (even her brother’s bio lists her under his likes and on her bio he is listed under her dislikes.), the causal laughter, her prepared to manipulate her brother’s unconditional love to execute her uncle and his associates, the fact during the entire conversation she’s painting a landscape of home and then rips it up as “her way of declaring war on her targets.” and now that i’ve actually had her for a while and actually got to use her in battle goddamn. her switch in sup skill, that gives her her special buff torah. i knew it said indefinite on it but i honestly thought it would get consumed for some reason. but of course it doesn’t.... she gets to forever cast her skills twice. and goddamn man. double delay, or delay and grant unchallenged, veil, mirror image, and (3000) shield to an ally, or grant those to two allies. plus the delay having bewitching moonlight that stacks on the enemy up to 3, give me that permanent local atk/def/debuff resist/and accuracy down. hhh and phases of the moon just getting to cast it twice in a row can speed up what phase the moon is on to increase bewitching moonlights buff, but also +30% chargebar (+15% x2), and honestly with her ougi also starting the moon phase it’s like almost always up. now i just need to figure a decent replacement for my baha dagger nova since she doesn’t benefit from it as a harvin, i need to do some calculating though to decided if i’d benefit more from another omega weapon skill, or a second normal modifier

(since right now im looking at 3 ex (both xeno + the llsif dagger), 5 omega daggers (1 sk20 4 sk15, but i am hoping to start replacing them with at least 2 magna ii harps, i currently have 1 3* one and 2* stashed so i just need one more copy but then also 20 fucking europa omega anima to 4* both of them uhg), xuanwu malus sk15 for a normal, and baha dagger coda that also counts as “normal”) (i’ve thought about a varuna grid, and honestly, i have like some decent weapons stashed that “””could”””” be used to build one, i’ve got 3 0* blue spheres, and more recently now i have a copy of pholia’s bow, and i know lily’s staff can be good filler, but that is so many fucking damas needed. and like actually executing the idea of a varnua grid almost hurts bc of how annoying and slow it has been for me to work on those europa harps (granted it wasn’t like i was going hard farming those, but i’ve had to farm too much europa omega anima for my liking bc of the lev 4* summon and the moon 4* step the grind is painful especially when you hit your prestige pendent limit for the week and so you can even be like well at least im getting pendents and it becomes neat some archangel weapons and my 820th genesis fragment, bc anima drop rate without a host or mvp is garbage and even with host or mvp is still not great, and don’t hold your breath on it being in the share chest) also when it comes to considering future primal grids i think i have a better base for a potential zeus grid if i save and use damas on my 3 copies of 0* eden, and my second copy of 0* cirtificus ((i already have a 4* one in my light grid that i also use as a mainhand for berserker/lumberjack set ups)) but then in that case it’s like but my magna light grid is so stupid and and perfect for rising force with my dumb ass harps (and cosmic harp) and light was the element i invested the class champion weapon in that hhh uhg. for now im good with dark and fire being my two primal grids, and god i just need that second sunlightstone so i can justify 3*ing and then 4* my 2* agni summon bc not enough ppl have 4* agni supports so it would make my life easier plus just good call, but like im not using my single sunlightstone now bc what if i somehow draw my third copy. i’ll be able to get my next sunlightstone during the next gw tho it sucks bc I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE 4* AGNI BEFORE IT, but last gw was a shitshow bc despite how much i actually did in the prelims bc april gw has an insane fucking spike bc anniversary shit has more people playing so despite doing more in the prelims than i ever did before i had to do a thing called sleep and got edged out. but i should have expected bc last april was 48, tho last april was also top 25k not top 36k but you know oh well)

but back to deciding what the fuck i would replace my baha dagger with, i wonder if maybe pholia’s grand weapon would do good, even for lev grid, esp bc of right now i don’t know how much a 6th omega weapon would really help, my water team weapon proficiency is too spread to consider an ultima weapon as a base in the grid, then there is the thought of drak opus, bc it would fill the atk and hp void, while also affecting haaselia, but then thats when i got to ask, do i invest it in being magna or primal. damage wise which would actually help more in a magna summon grid, bc i keep teetering in these parts where i’m not 100% sure, esp when i eventually swap out two of the daggers for harps, bc going magna would make up for that, and i guess then i could justify it as my one magna weapon in a primal grid if i ever go to varuna. though, as of right now, i’m not going to touch working on another dark opus weapon with a 10 foot pole bc i still need to finish dealing with my dark one, it’s just been a chore getting the last 3 avatar omega anima for the 4* bc avatar anima hates me so much. and even then i need to sk it up to 15 before i feel good about putting it in my dark grid to replace mistilteinn which has been old ass filler since the dawn of time but it’s sk 15 oblivian atk old ass filler. and i haven’t even sk 15 my dark opus eath harp it’s only sk 12 but i wanted it for mainhand so i didn’t care about putting it in before. i just have lots of ssr fodder and no sr fodder, i was scraping the side stories for sr weapons to finish getting flamescyth to sk 20 (bc they’re cheaper than the skill shards bc they only cost the first item and i can get more for cheaper than a single upgrade jewel bc there’s more than one sr weapon and again i don’t need the second item. and i was just doing things on ones i had left over items on, i get literally just enough to hit 20, but i stopped at wmtsb2 so there’s a couple i can still check and i guess i can actually farm ok i need to stop

[dog-teeth]

1/ hey ezra, i was just hoping i could grab some advice from u about something. i respect ur opinion about things a lot and u seem to know a lot about stuff baha so i was hoping u could give me some outsider insight [sorry if this is super long]. so im in my last year of high school and ive been in love with this one girl for like 2.5/3 years-ish. i kno it sounds wild, and all like oooo ur a teen ofc u think ur in love but yea. thats whats happening. its been a really long time and i havent made

2/ any moves or anything because she has been with someone for around a year and a half. so the main issue i have been having is that i desperately want to move on, forming other romantic interests doesnt seem possible when im still thinking about her all the time. i kind of want to tell her when i leave school and we go our seperate ways? i just am confused whether or not that is an okay thing for me to do, to just dump it on her even when she has a gf and then move away but i desperately

3/ want to move on. so yeah, ur opinion and advice would be much appreciated. also i forgot to go on anon for the 2nd part of my ask so it would be much appreciated if u didnt post that one!!! sorry baha im a ding dong but i love ur art and ur a big inspiration to me hope u have a good day : )

so i think its fine and probably good for you to be honest w this person! be sure to do it in a chill, respectful way, like dont make it too dramatic or do it in a way that could cause problems in her relationship. telling her isnt going to make all ur feelings go away though, but it might make things better and if u think it will then u should try! if i was in that situation, i would say something like “hey, before we part ways i just wanted you to know ive had feelings for you for a while and i needed to tell you so that i can work on moving on, i dont expect you to reciprocate the feelings i just wanted you to know.” maybe dont say youve been in love with them for 3 years cuz that could make her uncomfortable or stressed. but you know the situation better than i do! sadly, telling them probably wont solve everything. youll still probably need to make conscious efforts to move on and heal.

i confessed my feelings for someone literally the last time we saw each other before they moved away, turns out they felt the same way and neither of us acted on it oops. it was more casual than this tho, just a lil crush..

[jimines]

9, 21, 26? 😊

HEY ANON, THANK U TONS!!! 😊

9: What’s a little thing in life that you love?

hehe i answered this one here - but if you want to save some time, it's making people laugh and making them happy.

21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater?

and this one here - lmao that answer is kinda whack tho but basically movie theatre popcorn is my kryptonite and if im feelin it then also peanut m&ms hehehe

29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth)

yes i do still like old memes BAHA a guilty pleasure of mine lmaoo the older memes are funnier anyways

[thought it was easier to link my previous answers saglshgshdgj i hope thats ok]

Lovely calm asks to enjoy a nice up of tea to ☕

[tofusoups]

omg ur so valid i'm the same i've only actually consistently listened to svt ever since i started listening to kpop LOL. my first mv was mansae too,, just a year later lmaooo. also like u i saw my boy (jeonghan) fell in love n he's still my bias to this day but now i am also dino biased too 🤩 the fact that u got into him from his mushroom hair is so funny omg oh another svt q! what’s ur fave song/era of theirs :0 mm also what other artists do u like! oh n also thoughts on their cb? (1/3)

also yeah i think when i did the age range thing last time i kept it as any age n my anon n the person i anoned for were nice i liked them a lot but like.. it's not the same as doing it w someone the age u know? also the amt of parallels we have is so funny my carat anon last time didn’t reveal themselves either LOL i promise i will reveal myself though i got u 😌 ur art is amazing omg i was honestly shocked urs was literally identical to the ref i would not b able to tell them apart (2/3)

i’m so excited for u i will be cheering u on if u do get around to drawing this summer 🤩 omg pls i will b so excited if u draw me Anything i will treasure it forever 😭 also pls don’t worry abt talking too much i have the same problem i wrote like. a whole essay back to my anon’s one ask n it was literally just one question ;;;; (also a little obvious since i have 2 literally split this up into 3 pts omfg…) (3/3) - carat anon (should b fine i think? or maybe 🍊 bc i love oranges LOL)

this is gonna be long BHSJBJF hope u enjoy my 🍊 🥺

OK the fact we have sm in common <3 helllooo im so excited to talk to u more seriously!!! T_T thats so funny tho lmfaoo yeah like i listen to other groups sometimes but ive never gotten into them as much as 17 like... ive been phasing out of being a “kpop stan” (that sounds so funny) for a bit, like im definitely not as big of a fan as i was at like... 15 LMAO i was cray zee.... anyways my POINT is that even tho im not into kpop as much anymore 17 will literally always be there for me like ill see a photo of a member and b like.. “oh.... right i love these boys so much 🥺 AND their songs bang...” and relisten to like ... boys be or going seventeen.

JEONGHANNN !!! jeonghan in mansae was a cultural reset like him n mingyus hair i loved the most in mansae.... i really miss his long hair tbh im always annoyed thinking about how he never has longer hair bc of all the fans being weird and making him out to be a mom (or just making him more feminine bc he had the hair) like stop <3 thanks! whats ur fave looks of his? like eras or styles that rlly stuck w u :O also dino? a king a legend in every way he really is the future of kpop as carats are saying lately... 

hmm my fave eras of 17.. i feel like i tend to like the older eras bc i got into them at that time.. n i think their songs were better tbh 😌 Boys be has a big place in my heart bc it was my first kpop album n i got it for my birthday, i remember listening to mansae on my ride to school every day like it really was such a big part of my life its crazy kinda reflecting on it rn u know...🥺 i also really love pretty u + aju nice  bc that was the era i Witnessed? like i watched the live performance of pretty u with my friend n we were both crying akjdkajdks. other than that i loved going seventeen era AND oh my ... i kinda fell out of 17 after clap/teen, age bc i just wasnt interested in much of the music anymore.... but then oh my/YMMD happened and rocked my world <3 

i literally listed like 4 eras omfg. i cannot choose one im sorry KJDKSFKSFHA 😭

hmm other artists as in like kpop or in general? for kpop idk i listen to loona sometimes... NCT day6.. a lot more kindie like hyukoh and adoy! in general i listen mainly indie/alt and R&B, if u want i can show u some of my recent playlists ^__^ id love to see some music ur into as well (kpop or nonkpop :] ) 

i havent really listened to their CB LMAOOO im a fake carat... i mean i know left and right bc of all the vids baha and i just watched it randomly the morning it released but other than that idk much!! i do like the look of this one it kinda reminds me their An Ode era? what did u think of the CB? do u have any songs u rec from the album??

n OMG stop why am i excited for u to reveal urself hehe!! ok ik i was sad i didnt get to see my anon reveal themselves but i also didnt reveal myself to the person i was sending anons to KSJKFSF i kinda forgot to send asks. and they were also a kpop fic blog and not to b rude but i wasnt into that... sdkjjfk 

and thank u so much that means a lot T_T i do enjoy drawing w refs bc i feel like i can focus on the colors and understand anatomy and light a bit more... but i wanna try doing freehand to strengthen my style too ToT

N LMFAOOO no its totally fine i enjoy the multiple asks but im realizing how long this reply is im SO sorry ... this is longer than some of the essays i wrote in school <3 fjskajfdksfhk

[ghostofscarley]

baha thats alright, take your time.. i think i might text him tomorrow.. i was talking to my friend abt him.. it was like after i posted on here and after the shock i followed him like an hour later and i told her abt my concerns and she just said to ask him abt it (i mean duh, but when she put it into words it made a lot more sense).. so hoping all goes well

YALL I GOT THE BOY FROM GEOMETRY’S SNAP YESTERDAY

[chovocado]

i told you

let me tell that i have a lot of friends and also family. let me tell that most of them are being my friends almost six years.

kamis malam, dengan udara yang cukup dingin. its been a long time for me to write some story that was happen to me. its start from lulus sd i mean. i dont know what and why i am here. so far from everything that i have and i love. bertemu dengn segala hal yang baru. yang scara tidak langsung yang membentuk kebribadian dalam diri ini. dari tempat baru yang tak enah tebayang sebellumnya. tempat yang sama sekali tak terbatang seperti apa yang kemudian sekarng menjadi like my sacond home. almost six years was past and i found a lot of story, sadness, tentang keberuntungan, pertemanan, dan tentunya keuangan yang baik. is not easy. btuh banyak pengorbanan dan kesabaran. bagaimana mengahadapi lingkungan yanng selalu baru, menghadapi teman yang kadang tak dimengrti dan mempertahankan posisi agar tak menjadi penyebab. ahasil, thats all make ma life lebih berguna. melakuakn hal sderhana yang tanpa disadari menjadi kebiasaan. membagi waktu antara belajr, main, dan mencuci baju. walaupun hanya sekedar mengatar dan mengambil londry. i need to manage the time. membagi waktu berbicara dengan ibu abah, mendengarkan cerita dari mereka, menceritakan apa yang terjadi hari ini keapd mereka, membahas cita cita dan impian,atau sekedar basa basi cause i just want to hear their voice, said that i always miss and love them so much, waiting for the day that a can go home. mereka. hal sangat sederhana yang suatu hari nanti pasti akan dirindukan. makan di aldan, makan di ny.kamto, ke ramai, ke progo, dari duduk dikelas paing depan smpe ujung pojok. merasa menang bisa ngerjain soal tanpa bantuan anis, ngerasa paling bego dan gatau apa apa, ngerayainn ulang tahun pake roti tawar, bangunin di mid night, sama idut ke londry, buat kopi sma prisma, ngobrol sama mae bela tazkia enggar sasa, nnton drama sama babay, jalan sore sama jenab, makan bareng sifa hasbul fatme, mbahas hal gak penting sampe malem. sampe nyuci nyetrika dihari jumat sama ayeng. how sad iam if my chairmate just silent and not say someth. bingungny kalo bikin php orang. pengennya sih gak ngecewan tapi kadang keadaan suka tiba tiba beda. membahas masalah dan keinginan masing masing.  kadang lucu aja kalo kita bahas siapa yang nikah duluan, pengen ounya suami yang kek mana, pengen kerja dimana. its all about our dream right? idut bay yang soon will be the doctor, indah and her biology, prisma yang gatau mau kemana, mae yang pingin jadi guru, dan banyak lagi keinginan keinginan yang digantungkan. yang bakal selalu keinget, thanks for remember my birthday tau banget kan that i cant remember their day, care about my prodi, and so much laught that i cant tell it.

someday, kita sendiri tak pernah tau apa yang akan terjadi di esok hari. mungkin sekelas lagi, mungkin sekostan lagi atau seumah lagi. we never know. and i just hope that we always being frinds and home. thankyu.

[whydoubleu]

June-July 2018

So, this month is been a great month even its only about 5 days started. I still having internship in a company which is across my father office and that’s why i really looking forward to do internship in the company. Because, i can going from home to office with my father and as well as going back home. That’s the only one that make me can survive in this “random placing division”. But it turn out that the division is really can make me learn a lot and can update my knolwledge and still i have to keep be grateful for what i get now. Because, from the stories that i get from some of my friends that they didn’t get assignment/work that they were meant to do. Because, some people still think that student of administration are just doing “administration” thing, like input data, writing or other “administration work”. Even the worst is my other friend who didn’t get a job to do for about a week and they have to do the internship in other company. I mean it was so wasting time and money........... Better using the money to buying movie ticket, or buying cute outfit (HA!) or buying we the fest ticket or even PARAMORE TICKET CONCERT OMG!

  FYI THATS MY DAD OFFICE YUHUU,the right one

The benefit that i get to do internship here was been found out just yesterday (July 4 th) which I GET TO WATCH RAN LIVE SHOW FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE WHICH I’M 21 YEARS OLD NOW. Finally, i’m able to watch one of my favorite music group by my  eyes and Nino and Rayi and Asta were so handsome for real HAHAHA. And yeah i always love their songs, and their live performance is making me craving for more live performance of RAN. I really looking forward to see more of  RAN’s live performance. I will getting great picture of them and of course sing along freely with my friends. That’s what i will do for Barasuara too!

Yess, Barasuara! One on my favorite music group especially my favorite Indonesian band like i’m so into this band so much. Right from their music, the lyric, their funny act and of course the live performance. Their live performance IS SO AWESOME THAT I CAN’T MOVEON FROM THE SHOW.    My first experience watching Barasuara live performance was in November 2017 in the event which held in UI and organized by my friends from FIA, which i so much regret that i don’t yet love Barasuara that much. So, i just watching it from the distance because it was raining and i just taking some pictures and videos and only sing along to “Bahas Bahasa”.

My second live experience of Barasuara was happen last week, on Saturday (June 30th) which the stage really close to the audience and i can see The charismatic vocalist Iga Massardi, The skillfully guitarist Tj Kusuma, The skillfully bassist and funny yet smart guy Gerald Situmorang, The handsome and skillfully drummer Marco Steffiano and two ethnic and has beautiful voice vocalist Puti Chitara and Asteriska, clearly luvzzz. Their opening song was “Barat” which is my current favorite track of Taifun album. I’m so so happy they were singing the song and i love kak Puti looks with the unique color lips which matching to her  outfit, and of course her new hair. And yeah i love the always smile guy Gerald and cool dad kak Iga and kak Marco with the drum and i’m lucky that i get to see Barasuara show before Marco’s absence in July. Oh i love them all and i really want to see their performance in their concert or a cool event such as We The Fest but the ticket is quite expensive that  i better buy Paramore ticket concert.  I hope that in WTF, Marco won’t be there so i will not that regret to not attend WTF event.  I just hope that i can be accepted as WTF crew .

                                       Other activities that related to Barasuara which i did when i’m doing internship is browsing about the review of Barasuara, watching their performances and interviews in youtube and scrolling the band member instagram which is funny and random yet keep making regret that i did not know them from their early  year like when they started the band i just graduate from my junior high school in Salemba and i like to listen music of west singer and band mostly and i only love RAN, Sheila on7, Nidji, and hivi yeah some Indonesian artist but not that much as i love west artist.  But, now i realize that there are many great Indonesian artist, whether it’s a band or soloist and music streaming platform also help me to find out many great Indonesian artist and performer like i can enjoy Indonesian music more. What i like from Barasuara is that they are a great Indonesian band which i think can be picturing what is Indonesian like. From the lyric, the looks/outfit, and their culture. It’s like they might be picturing Indonesia Ideology, Pancasila. It also can be look from the members culture background, the religion and their music genre. I mean Barasuara didn’t  have the exact music genre because they like and have different  background of music genres. But, with the diversity they have, they respect and encouraging each other so they can be unite as a band and making great music which is Indonesia should be like. Be Unite.

     The other super fun show this month is Motogp Assen 2018 which held on Sunday (July 1st) and so grateful that i could watch the race because i think that was the best race of the season so far. There are so many overtakes between eight to ten riders at the front with different bike . It can be prove in Motogp Highlight video which show the overtakes and the video is about 42 minutes length means that there are so many moment of overtakes in Assen 2018.  Eventhough at the end, Valentino only could be in fifth place but, i still happy that he doing his best and show some cool overtakes against those young riders. I really really enjoy the race from the first lap untill the last lap which include the screaming and the jumping in the living room with my father the one and only my partner when it comes to motogp in the family. But, Vale is still be on the second position in the current  motogp championship and he really needs to win to catch points of Marc and hope that Yamaha can immediately fix the problem so Valentino can be #goforten and i always keep faith on Vale getting his tenth motogp championship so #iostoconvale.

Credit: motogp.com

[diosafitri]

ni-ne month

i just wanna tell you how about feel you dont understand.

aku, selalu bersyur atas apa yang aku punya sekarang termasuk aku punya kamu, aku besyukur

seperti tulisan sebelumnya, yang sering aku tulis, its just same. it just how much i love you soooo, aku, tidak pernah beimajinasi sejauh ini sebelumnya dimana hari-hari aku terisi oleh sosok seperti kamu,iya kamu. my guardian. kamu hadir seperti seorang malaikat yang terus menjaga apa yang dia punya. yes youre my guardian. geli bukan ? but its real

sayang, bagaimna sembilan bulan ini?? apa yang kamu rasakan apakah sama seperti aku ? i hope thats sound is good

terimakasih , karena telah mencintaiku denga setulus hatimu.

sebelumnya, aku tidak pernah berfikir aku akan sebahagia ini. dan mendapatkan lelak sepertimu..

sayang, apakah kau menyadari ada yang berbeda dari aku? do you feel it?

mungkin tulisan ini akan mewakilkan perasaan aku ini, sudah kutekan kan dari awal tentang perasaan ini, perasaan ini perasaan utuh dan yakin aku sudah tidak seperti anak muda lain yangh masih memikirkan kesmpurnaan, memilikipun dan hidup seperti ini sudah nyaris sempurna sayang, untuk ku

sejauh ini aku selalu berfikir bahwa kita adalah kepribadian yang sangat bertolak belakang , dimana kamu terbiasa berteman bahkan bersahabat dengan hanya beberapa orang dan aku, aku adalah manusia yang aktif aku sengan berbicara membicarakan banyak hal mencari pengalaman dan menjalankan hidup dengan banyak orang, sayang di hati ini sudah terbagi dengan rata untuk siapa saja diberikan baik itu untuk kamu, keluarga, teman dan untuk sahabt, sayanggggg im reaaalyyy sad belakangan ini ineed support but i dont know how i get support for it, maksunya bukan berarti kamu tidak memberikan support dalam hidup ini namun maksunya adalah i need support for one thing you really dislike, i need my world, entah lah ini perasaan apa yag pasti i feel im missing my world….

hidup bersama kamu, sembilan bulan sudah membuat aku banyak berubah, memang benar apa kata orang bilang ada saat nya kita meninggalkan zona nyaman kita, untuk belajar menghargai apa yang kita punya sebelumnya…… sekarang aku sedang menjalankan itu,, perlu kita sadari kita hidup pasti membutuhkan seseorang disampingkita untuk menjalankan roda kehidupan dengan sempurna 

do you know what i mean ? i missing my world teutama i missing my old friend.

dari dulu aku hidup selalu sendiri menjalankan dan memikirkan untuk hidup besok itu sendiri, dan selalu menggantungkan kebhagian pada orang-orang terdekat aku merasa sendiri ketika aku berada dirumaah i hate home , aku merasa bahagia ketika aku berada disamping teman-teman, tulisan ini bukan aku berarti membela teman teman tetapi im just missing my old friend. aku tidak menyalahkan tulisan ini hanya menjelaskan hal yang tidak bisa di jelaskan oleh kata-kata ketika aku berhadapan dengan kamu, dimana ini menjadi hal yang paling kamu benci

ketika aku mencintaimu aku nyaaris sempurna i need my world and my friend too..

can you tell me how about youre feel for two old friend ? its just flat right ? 

sayang, its really no big deal for mylife.

you just hate someone and you make me feel walk away allone, ya kamu membenci satu orang dan kamu membuat aku jauh dari semuanya, tanpa harus kita bahas kamu membenci satu orang ( aku annggap ini tidak termasuk terhadap cerita yang aku ceritakan) i just miss the moment

you broke my heart again and again but i can forgive you 

but with this ? its really not fine.

sayang harus seberapa alinea lagi agar kau mengerti ? cintailah aku dengan apa yang kupunya? sudh cukup kau merubahku menjadi yang kau mau…

[adhdvane]

i have so much angel halo fodder to farm but its magna fes so now is the best time to do it anyways i’m gunna try and 5* eahta today/tomorrow/at least before 25th is a reasonable goal. i need to max 11 more silver relics so 11 lazuline vessels for that + it takes 745990 exp (approximately ~25 lazuline vessels) to go from lv 1 to 150 (but I might be able to do it in less with journey drop boosts when using them since it seems to say that journey drop boosts and such only have no effect on the exp gain when putting weapons into the reserve and not the act of using the vessel on a item and vessels are also special considering unlike other exp upgrader items they can have a chance of grand success and its double jour drops right now so might as well) then other than that all i need are 6 more silver centrums, 4 of which i can get from just hosting the raid twice today (if i somehow get blessed i can get all six if i can get them to drop from the share chest both times) (otherwise getting 8 more heavenly horns from just joining raids to get 10 to trade for the other 2 centrums will be easy) (i have the two peacemaker stars for the two hosts) (i then proceeded to ramble too long so the rest is under the cut. ii keep writing shit out tat’s too long and then just deleting everything and never posing my rambling anymore but like fuck it at this point im keeping this)

and that’s it, i already did the awakening step on all 10 katanas yesterday which was the most painful step bc need 500 white dragon scales will always be the worst step in my opinions, which is why i spent yesterday getting to like 438 yesterday using the campaign exclusive quest (bc the drop rate for scales on that quest is surprisingly amazing considering the low ap cost even after you’ve done it 30 times) (but i ended up quitting 438 and then proceeded to buy the remaining 62 with cerulean stone bc i have a bunch still and tbh the only thing worth spending cerulean stones on are white dragon scales or shit like translucent silk, broken teacup, coverging rays, etc bc the drop rate for those is stupid, and i guess technically i’m going to need those 50 jumbo best bones when i get to the 5* part of death, but i still have more than enough stones if i wanted to buy all 50 of those drops and i’ll defiantly be getting even more after the roulette starts so i’m not even concerned, bc yeah i got the sunlight stone now for death but i’m still pretty damn far from deal w/death, though maybe not as far as i think if i just remember to host my go and primarch raids for a couple days, wow yeah actually im stupidly closer than i thought bc im only 12 celus fragments from all 30 i need, the only annoying issue in the last step is going to be taking the time to farm the 10 primeval horns bc sometimes they don’t drop when you join proto hl, i know its guaranteed from share i’m just always weary about hosting that raid since it is 18-man elixir limited and i can’t solo it, and have had a time in the past were i was only joined by people leaching and it sucks when only you and like 1 other person contribute. so i always feel better join one bc i can make a decent contribution (and even like sort of mvp race or usually more vice mvp race for like 2nd or 3rd) (okay one time i joined a proto baha hl raid that was between like 70~60% bc it was on earth and 8 ppl already, and upon joining discovered like most of them had jumped ship, and the log was dead and was like well fuck, but started raiding anyways, and trying to send back up requests anyways, ended up getting some momentum, painfully got it always through to 50% dark by my self (kind of annoyed i took my light grid with my spheric harp bc i thought it was going to be an instance were it would get to 50% super fast so the off element wouldn’t matter and not that everyone but host had retreated) and then like around ~45% another person finally joined and me and this one other person destroyed the rest of the boss in like a minute, that was one of like 4 or 5 times i’ve mvp’d proto baha hl upon joining. tbh i kinda wish i knew what the host was doing, like if they were sitting there watching, was afk, or had like left the raid page to do other things. like if they were just hoping someone would come in and beat it for them, or had sorta given up but didnt want to fully end the raid just incase, look okay i just felt fucking good thinking i helped out a lower rank player get through a hl raid that they were abandoned on by several other players who appeared to have either not being strong enough, or joined saw the damage and jumped ship bc it looked like it was going to fail. though if i remember correctly the time limit was pretty far gone so that’s probably also why no one was joining, i was just a dumb fuck who didn’t look at the time before i joined, then realized, and then just fucking felt bad and was like well fuck it lets see how far i can go by myself bc clearly everyone else is dead and i don’t have anything to lose and im not stoping anyone else from potentially saving this bc there’s still like 7 slots open that anyone can join at any time...) anyways the last thing i wanted to say was i remember i was like a little peeved when they announced everyone who finished chapter 4.5 in the demon slayer collab would get kengo for free bc FARMING FOR KENGO AROUND THE TIME IT CAME OUT HURT BC I HADN’T BEEN HL FOR VERY LONG SO IT TOOK A LOT OF EFFORT, esp like bc extra II class suck worse than row iv bc you have to make the ccw element change for every goddamn class. but i was glad they compensated us with materials and i was mostly just glad for the extra silver centrums and steel brick (even tho i just realized i have fucking 50 steel bricks where the fuck did those come from like i don’t remember having so many), but i remember thinking to myself like oh wow thank 40 samurai distinctions, thats so useful, wow, what am i going to do make another murakumo and unsigned kaneshige?? i think im good. guess those will sit there forever... and then a couple days ago when i started thinking about finishing eahta up since i literally finished farming the demon slayer event the day after the second half was unlocked (when u can just auto extreme+ with ur fire team u don’t have to do shit, i got all the items i wanted and after than even played to get the 200 battle trophy for the heck of it. i only wanted the tickets, ring, dama crystals, steel, summon unlock mats just ‘cause those spellbooks, skill jewels, the fire urns bc i know they’re farmable but they’re annoying and i am low on fire urns, and then i was like i guess the summon since it’s a 1 copy only thing and can’t be reduced even though i’ll literally never use it bc i have gabriel and gabriel has a sub aura, i guess maybe it could be potentially useful for prometheus solo’ing because of the 1 turn debuff resistance, but the times i did solo prometheus i never had problems running out of veils or clears and tbh garnet carbuncle has a shorter cooldown and again i’ve got lily and gabriel already (and 5* lucifer now) so like i’d much rather have my four summon slots for that be gabe, moon ssr, luci, garnet carbuncle. (heck i don’t even take extra damage cuts for the wilnas trial vane, lily, gabriel, and 5* feower’s gravity and delaying the everloving shit out of wilnas is enough for me, though i’ve never done the raid so maybe it would be helpful there.) anyways then i just spend the rest of the event drops on half elixers, and back to what i was saying i was thinking about finishing eahta and looking at all the mats i need and then remember oh yeah i need 30 class distinctions don’t i? which ones do i need for eahta??? oH THAT’S RIGHT. SAMURAI DISTINCTIONS. so that fuckin worked out perfect (not that i don’t have the pendents to just buy them anyways). anyways im going to shut up now and probably never re-read any of this ramble i wrote ever again bc adhd brain be like no read only write