#thats not entirely true
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one thing about me is that i have a lot of ideas for photoshoots that i will never act on
#why? because i think taking a photo is a violent act#thats not entirely true#it's mostly that i dont know who would be on board and i am afraid and also photoshoots are very contentcoded#like this is not for posting...#txt#not in a strange way just in a i dont want to post and also i want it to feel comfortable#like i dont want to be taking the photos with audience in mind rather i want to express through the medium of photography#and the other thing is that i want to be in the photos like i want to model a little bit#which is weird for me because i usually cannot stand being in front of a camera#but like i want to execute these concepts#and its embarrassing and it makes me feel strange cos i have a strange relationship with my appearance#anyways
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Anyone have any book recs for someone who wants to get into fiction but has never been into fiction?
#thats not ENTIRELY true#i think i like dystopian novels? idk#look when i was 8 my mom gave me an oldass biology textbook and I tore thru that shit for fun.#OR i was into 'nonfiction' books about cryptids and ghosts and haunted places#if i did like fiction it was realistic fiction but not romance. i don't like romance#personal#books
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invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)
[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."
Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”
Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.
At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.
"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.
Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”
Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."
In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]
Credits for ID here and here
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#another scars comic for one of the vw week days!!!! frankly i think about their scars WAY too often . most notably wolfwood's because#it really symbolizes a lot for him imo bc for vash it's a history of all the people that's ever harmed him betrayed him and the trust he has#given to humanity despite it all. its a beautiful reflection of his character and then u look at ww and presumably#since we dont really see him half naked Ever (shame) and i mean. i guess technically its a hc -- i assume he wouldn't have any scars bc#of the regen potions (which is why he doesnt have his t scars btw the regen pot took them away :pensive:)#in a way its like washing his hands of blood. giving him the body of someone who might never been involved in a fight never held a gun#but he knows thats not true yet he cant really do anything about it anyway bc he's still just human. if he stops taking the regen pots#he can't press forward. so its just a rinse and repeat and growing accustomed to whats inflicted on him because he knows it'll go away at#the end of the day. he's human but he's also not he's far beyond what could be considered a normal human but he still just is.#mortal but also not immortal. idk. i overthink about it a lot GMSKGMDK frankly i dont think it matters THAT much in the context of trimax#but it means a lot to me somehow. also thinking about how no matter how many times ww kills he's never numb to the sensation of it. maybe#the adrenaline gets to him for the beginning half but ive been rereading like.. vol 3? and that entire fight for ww#u can slowly see him spiral as he keeps on going on. anyway anyway. i love ww#ruporas art
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Quick re-do of a 4 year old piece
#to test my abilities... no jk#I mean kind of lol#I WANTED To test my abilities but then I couldnt think of anything#so then I just redid an older piece#I remembered the old one started black and white and then I did effects over it so I did that again#cause I just wanted to play around with lighting#and I think its pretty obvious how much I've improved#I also only spent like an hour on the second one#wasnt trying to make anything amazing here#just trying t make something that reminds myself how growth can look and feel#important stuff to do as an artist#I'm still sick btw lol#I love how when youre losing your voice everyone goes 'wow you sound terrible'#I get why. I sound terrible. but its so fucking funny like. culturally#like holy shit what the fuck is wrong with you !#but its polite and empathetic#I havent been getting work done on account of is sick#actually not entirely true#I did a good bit of work for we were legion and some for TTA too#but it was just no drawing work#all writing work#which theres just a lot more of to for wwl than for tta#anyways#we were legion#zagan#art redo#art improvement#spent easily twice as long on the original thats a skill upgrade roight there
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tbh i think i just find it more interesting to appreciate dean how he is and have zero interest in proving his general goodness. like maybe if i Didnt find that specific type of character so compelling id be more invested in mischaracterisation (though id like to think not <3).
but a lot of hellers/extreme deangirls dont approach spn like a horror show with the thesis 'family is hell' (which is what it initally Is) they approach it like a fantasy-comedy-action show with a funny bisexual mc and his gay angel bf. either because they're not interested or because theyre uncomfortable with the actual show thats there. which is their prerogative! like sure i guess. you do you.
but its interesting bc it means we have 2 fanbases which are rabidly different to each other and get completely different things out of the show and yet keep brushing up against each other. we parcel it into 'samgirl' and 'deangirl' but that makes it sound like its literally just Fans Of The Character when tons of samgirls (myself included <3) love dean. the real dean that is. (also even samgirl fandom is ripe w misinterpretation but all fandoms have that at least theyre kind-of misinterpreting the same show as me. deangirl fandom is something entirely different.)
#of course i would say that the spn that hellers like is entirely invented. but they can do that if they want. love and light. it just annoys#me when i have to see it. which of course would not be a problem if we werent all sharing a fandom.#also samgirl-style misinterpretation tends to be Romanticisation & misunderstanding the power dynamic#goes hand in hand with like a third of wincesties. 'omg sam has sooo much power over dean <3. wow they are both so totally constantly#on the same level. sam is crazyyyy.'#which like... its not True. but at least we're talking roughly about the same source material#i think hellers r mostly interested in something thats. not quite the source material. which is. well. <3#spn#supernatural#oliver talks
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ive been thinking about this but. i think shuro understands laios' character pretty well, but he doesn't value his strengths or interests (monster knowledge). in the DVD extra where laios imagines what would have happened if they'd been on better terms, shuro STILL leaves because he thinks his chances are better with a trained crew (which....... is likely to be true but. look at how he ended up anyway lmao). meanwhile kabru recognises that while the party isnt particularly strong, the reason they get so far in the first place is BECAUSE of what laios knows about monsters. shuro seems aware that laios knows about monsters or has an interest in them, but views this as frivolous and a waste of time and doesn't seem to realise how much this knowledge carried them in the first place
#his prevailing impression of laios appears to be that hes too carefree 💀#i think thats more the case of whatever he observes laios' priorities to be#he thinks its unimportant....#anyway thats just my onion. ive seen people say that shuro doesnt Get laios#and i dont think thats true. i just think he dismisses some of it 💀#its his understanding of his character that. spoiler alert i just realised.#makes him back laios up to the point of defying the elves#this is just what i think is possible. because i realise also#that kabru makes this theory once hes actually talked to laios abt monsters iirc#and like. i dont think laios was as openly fanatical about monsters until after falin got killed LMAO#its entirely possible that actually shuro DIDNT observe this (knowledgeable) about laios#or at least didnt recognise the extent of the knowledge pulling them thru..#but again also. i realise shuro wasnt actually wrong for thinking his chances were better#with his retainers LMAO... senshi made a huge difference in their party and theres no way#shuro could have known hed appear. without senshi they very may have well#not made it that far......#this is all to say that i want a scenario where shuro thinks about this and realises#how integral to their survival laios' knowledge has been so far#and how his knowledge has come about as a result of study and hard work and dedication#<- secret laishuro agenda LMAO
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[ID a meme redraw of the why dis [ninja emoji] look so mad [three crying emojis] but with Iceman and Pyro, that's says why dis [icecube emoji] look so mad. Ice man is standing iced up looking mad with a shadow over him. Pyro is next to him. The tiktok account is lilsleepyjp. End ID]
Wdym this isn't how marauders went
[ID a tiktok screenshot of the why dis [ninja emoji] look so mad [three crying emojis] end ID]
#x men#x men iceman#x men pyro#xmen#x men marauders#not entirely but i was reading it while doing this and had that in mind so. i think it counts. sorta.#b.text#st john allerdyce#bobby drake#i keep wanting to say no his name is bobby frost but thats not true. every time i do i laugh tho. BOBBY FROSTY.#also. i made this my lockscreen bcuz it took SO long to make andi love it.
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[loud] Nothing can make him angry
#tw loud#loud#clemart#toontown corporate clash#ttcc#mac opsys#prethinker#brian ttcc#winn dos#thgis is what an alarming rate of aptitude is in my mind#ok thats not entirely true the roles would have to be reversed for that to work but you get what i mean#i know i tagged it as loud but i decided to put it in the description too because i started to get a headache#but that could also be because i had to listen to this audio repeatedly. actually thats probably it.
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I didn't really get liking a character so much where you'd be like 'i hope they die' until watching one piece
#not entirely true but i am like surperstitious about it like if i say it itll happen so i dont#but op? yeah i get it#would never say it about my sweetie darlings nami and usopp❤️ but sanji and buggy gotta go 💀#that one screenshot thats like tbh i kinda hope sanji dies i understand a lil bit better now#kae.txt
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experimentin w shit heehee
#fake peppino#arts#mine#horror#eye strain#guh#body horror#a lil tho but i just think thats a more commonly blacklisted tag than 'horror'#spooky month is the only time im like. i guess i should TRY to draw spooky shit#i always feel like my style is too loose and roumnd to convey it in the way i want to#but spooky month is like okay u can fuck around and fuck up and itll still be good. the spirit of spookyness n all that#i love horror so much but it feels so hard to grasp. like what is ACTUALLY scary yknow?#its very easy to say whats not scary but then its also so hard to stop urself from doing the same things lol#to be fair. stories and 'motion' (through the use of comics or animations) are far easier ways to convey things like suspense n stuff#still art is like. well that is an image alright lol#not entirely true tho; theres an artist i dont know the name of that did trailcam images that were photorealistic#and theyre sooooooooo fuckin creepy#like when i get around to doing more fp art i wanna use that and the lighting in it as practice#okay thats it i think; gonna draw furry shit bc i need comms yay yippeeeeeee
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ALSO ACTUALLY it’s quite fun that rook parallels the chess piece since they come into play right at the end of the match and are typically a very important piece because how you use them ends up deciding the outcome of the game
#rooks capturing the king is all that happens in vg its very cute!#if i had to think abt it then el is probably the king but i would honestly call solas a bishop maybe.. or knight. idk#and elgarnan bides his time much more. forcibly shoehorning ghil into the queen box but im not sure thats entirely true#im saying knight-solas because his bitch ass jumps over you. A LOT.#dav#txt#im sure someone must have said this but i just a wow thats quite cute moment LOL
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#AYEAAA the chapter art always delivers#tbh i was kind of neutral on kabru for a while bc i wasnt sure ab his purpose or much ab him really#to form a solid opinion but hes rly growing on me.I LIKE HIMM!!!#isnt that so interesting though. like thats kind of the role he plays come to think of it#hes an observer . he studies everyone he meets / sizes them up while simultaneously concealing his own true nature#adopting diff personas to best fit his prerogative so its cool that he genuinely is harder to understand when you meet him#and like toshiro / namari / his own party say- you can tell that hes not entirely authentic ab himself#but you cant really dissect much below that without having access in2 his internal dialogue#id known beforehand he was one of the more popular characters but i had a hard time conceptualizing why#given there was so little to be said abt Him!Kabru! but no i see it now he got me Guys he Got Me#i also have so much go say abt mithrun in retrospect but idk how to word it or rly what it means outside of the abstract#but i lovedddd … the goat.. THE IMAGERY WAS INSAAANEEE THE MIRROR OF DESIRES AND THE GOAT DEVOURING HIM#dude . dmesh symbolism is so great.#and i think his story in particular is just incredibly interestingn#the kind of person to bend to desire and then have it stripped from them completely#dunmeshi#dunmeshi 61#dungeon meshi spoilers#dunmeshi spoilers#kabru#mithrun
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if 9&10 were "dont wander off", and 11&12 were "the doctor lies", 13s rule #1 is "dont question me"
"have we not had a good time together" shes pointing yaz to the rule that yaz very well knows is there: we can travel if you dont ask me any difficult questions. yaz knows this is the rule - "because you ask too many questions", "this team structure isnt flat" - but she also was the one to invite the doctor into her home so im pretty sure she also knows shes not gonna kicked out that easily. she has some leeway. which she has been using between revolution and flux, which is why the doctor reminds her of the rules
i dont think she'd kick her out though. she wouldnt. i think it's just that the more you break the rule, the more unpleasant she becomes to be around, and eventually youre gonna walk out on your own. she doesnt want you to, she'd rather you stay and dont ask questions. but if youre gonna try to ask questions anyway, i think thats whats gonna happen
and yaz must think so too. because she does back off. because she doesnt want that to happen either. and it does anyway
#dont question me/dont challenge me. questions are the sore spot but the challenge is one she says explicitly once#because you see this in how she is with other people too. dont try her patience. dont act like shes smaller. dont challenge her or Die#based on the giggle - 'i thought i was clever' 'what do i say?! because im always sooo certain' - i dont think 14 is like this#also based on the expressions of affection#hes not that......reactive. to this. specific thing#so i wonder if it runs over to 15#he seems chill. i think? he seems fairly chill. but also i think we've so far only seen him mostly in control of things#faced with the maestro temporarily not entirely in control hes Notably Less Chill#but still bigger picture. hes mostly in control of things right now i think#or uhhhh based on how eager he seems to get out of the role of doctor#hmmmmm#13 didnt want it but like. was stuck with it i think#didnt want it but nobody else was gonna do it. thats why 12 regenerated#15 comes out 14 Literally Quitting#he doesnt want it and hes decided hes not stuck with it. maybe#none of this is true btw im just saying words recreationally#like those 13 moments are super cherrypicked and i havent rewatched in forever so#dont believe me gfkjghgjh#this is based more on how i write them than what ive seen basically#anyway in terms of 14/yaz i think it takes yaz a while to figure out how to deal with 14 Not being like this#bc she got soooo practiced at handling 13. most of which was abt like not tripping this rule too much#she'd keep it up with 14 and he'd just do stuff that like breaks the rule from his side and yaz wouldnt have any idea how to deal with it#he'd show her hes chilled out a bit. about this. over and over and it'd still take her moooooonthssssssss to start relaxing#just muscle memory at this point. doesnt help that shes also like this#i wonder if 14 - in a sort of compelte reversal - wants to be told what to do and how to do and#seeks out situations where someone else knows more than him so he can sit down and say 'teach me'#i think thats what he does. about all the human stuff. hes like teach me. all of it. show me how to do this
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can i be fr for a minute?? sending abuse to people online for holding different views than you is not activism and in fact actively hurts your cause. most people are not extreme in their viewpoints, you can give them a new perspective if you're willing to spend some time explaining shit. if someone is saying something you disagree with and you rush in there to condescend to them and call them disgusting and subhuman and dont even TRY to explain calmly why their views are harmful, they're going to shut you out instantly and double down on their views.
most people are simply genuinely ignorant to the issues they're talking about - they just pick their views up from the news and the world around them and express opinions because that's what every person does. if you run in there and tell them they're scum for it, what then? if someone does that to you, are you going to think "maybe i should do some research" or are you going to think "this person is an asshole, im blocking them." a lot of you think you're activists and then refuse to do any kind of actual WORK to support your cause.
#this is not about the isr*el thing even tho thats obviously a huge issue rn#its just a pattern ive observed online#im not saying you have to be kind to people who oppress you dont twist my words#but if youre trying to support any cause and you think calling people names is going to help#youre a fucking idiot lol#people call themelves activists and pro-X cause because they called their opposition dirty c*nts online#how the hell is that meant to help anyone? theyre just going to retreat into their propaganda chambers because you proved what the leaders#of those spaces have been telling them#you can obvs block people if you dont want to deal w them but thats a neutral action. sending abuse harms ur cause.#text#like educating ignorant people is hard work! yeah! its also the entire fucking point of activisim#and if you think its too much effort then just stop pretending you give a shit tbh#like my parents managed to change our neighbour's very xenophobic stance on migrants with a calm conversation#some people will listen and some wont and shes not exactly going out to protests for migrants rights but shes not hostile anymore#and a lot of yall think that isnt good enough but let me tell you it IS good because these things take time!#unlearning things is MUCH harder than learning them in the first place and a lot of people grew up in environments that taught them#very discriminatory and conservative views and its actually not their fault. and its hard to educate yourself differently on something you#have no idea is not true. where do you start w that?
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goodbye 2022
#this year was the best and worst year of my entire fucking life#and now its over#thank god#in all honesty there was a lot of good#but by god was the bad BAD#at least im back on this platform now#tumblr my one true love#im sorry for leaving you for so long but im back now#friendship ended with twitter#other blue t app is now my best friend#okay thats all bye#stillindigo art#comics#stillindigo comics
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obsessed with how the first thing he asks Marty after taking in his surroundings is if there's gonna be a lot of people coming in. and then after marty’s response, rust just. shrugs LMAO
#💾#true detective#rust cohle#he’s like my man idk that’s why i’m asking you in the first place#just please answer me#PLEASE. tell me thats its just gonna be us. ive socialized enough for an entire lifetime after being interrogated
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