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hollowwrites · 2 years ago

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The Gardener and The Alchemist

Part 3 Garreth x MC

Summary - After the HoneyDukes Heist, Maeve and Garreth decide to hang out in their own little personal haven.

Feel free to swap Maeve with MC or Y/N

Warnings - Mentions of water and inability to swim(?), Mild spice

Word Count - 2640

Something about the ordeal left the two of them a bit dazed. They giddily walked back, not chatting much just giggling at each other every time they made eye contact. Had they gained some sort of sugar rush from inhaling so much candy? Or was the adrenaline from nearly being mauled my dogs taking over?

Either way, once they’d hopped over the platforms once again, Garreth stopped. He peered at the fork in the dirt path. Right, lead down to Maeve and his secret spot, left lead back up to Hogwarts. He watched Maeve turn left and reached to her, catching her elbow.

“I…I don’t want to go back just yet” he murmured, a sadness taking over his features.

“Okay” she smiled “I only have History of Magic left for the day anyway. I’d rather not go” he beamed, seemingly happy she’d chose to spend time with him instead of her valuable education.

“Shall we visit The Docks then, my dear?” He offered her his hand and she took eagerly.

The Docks was the name they ironically gave to the makeshift camp they created by the waters edge. A few conjured crates, a battered sofa and a large chest made up their safe haven. A liberal amount of magic held the structure together lest it float away to bob around the small pond. The familiar deep blue swirl of Maeves ancient magic wove through the crates making them sturdy under their combined weight.

There were telltale spots of both of their influences.

A small ‘portable’ potion station had settled into the dirt over time. Various cushions and blankets lay strewn across the floor around it for when Garreth fidgeted during his experimentations.

Terracotta pots of a multitude of different sizes for an array of plants sat upon every available surface, including the cushions of the sofa. Some muggle plants and some wizarding, the former thriving under the influence of her ancient magic. No need for sun down here!

As Garreth made himself comfortable, he casually tossed some ingredients into a cauldron and flicked his wand. The tiny flame beneath the pot started to simmer under the unknown concoction.

Satisfied with his addition, Garreth sat down at the water edge, removing his shoes and socks and rolled his trousers up. Maeve added their discarded robes and her own shoes to the growing pile of clothing near the chest. He kicked at the water as his feet dangled over the edge.

“Well…That was exhilarating” he grinned

“More like terrifying” she said lowering herself next to him. Tucking her feet underneath his thigh, she hugged her knees, peering at him from over her arms.

“I don’t know… it had its benefits” he winked thinking back to the feel of her hand upon his chest, how she wiggled against his hips unknowingly “Speaking of, I feel like I should apologise.”

“Apologise? For what”

“I…may have over stepped. I’m sorry if I…touched you inappropriately” his eyes looked anywhere but her direction.

“I…dont think you did” Meave looked genuinely confused. She thought back. He’d held her waist? But that was nothing. Yes she liked the feeling but it was nothing inappropriate. Her thoughts were, but that wasn’t his fault. “No you were a perfect gentlemen”

“I had my hands wrapped around your waist? Thats not…are you okay with that?” He looked at her, finally, eyebrow cocked.

“Erm…” her face burned red “Yeah that’s er…fine with me”

He smirked but his cheeks were matching hers. She cleared her throat

“So long as I’m not going to get a Diffindo to the back from Ominis, I’m good if you are.”

“Diffindo? Why would he do that?” She asked truly baffled at the direction the conversation had taken.

“You know…some guys get very protective of their partners, I’m just happy he still lets us hang out. I know I can be a bit…much with you so-“

“Woah slow down… You think me and Ominis are together?”

“Yes?” He questioned, now confused himself

“Ha! No Garreth!” She chuckled to herself at the idea.

“Oh…so Sallow?”

“No I’m not with anyone, Weasley” she laughed throwing his sock at him.

“Oh…” he looked off to nothingness, like he was connecting the dots to something in his head “OH!” He smiled “So they’re single are they?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her. She rolled her eyes so hard it almost gave her a headache.

“Please, you’d have to break them apart first before you even stood a chance with either of them”

“I think I could do it, you know. Just flash them these babies and they’d be crawling over each other to get a taste” he puffed his chest out and flexed, his biceps pushing against the fabric of his sleeves. They already fit him snug, so the addition of his flexing left the material looking strained. She made a conscious effort not to gawk at him, fusing her mouth shut in a flat straight line.

“Get over yourself, Weasley” she pushed on his arm as he continued his posing, unaware how close to the edge of the dock he sat.

With the tiniest of knocks from Maeve he went tumbling into the water, he completely disappeared as he was submerged under the water.

“Garreth!”

See…now this is why I don’t swim. That is far deeper than it looks

A second later, he remerged, soaked through. His hair lay flat against his head and face. His fingers reaching up to part his hair down the middle, her eyes met with his own, and all she could see…was murder.

“Garreth…I’m sorry” she held her hands out in surrender “I didn’t realise you were so close to the edge I-“

“You are…so dead” he said flatly, before grabbing her ankles and softly tugging her towards the edge

“NO, no Garr please…it was an accident” she begged, her hands pushing against his shoulders, desperate to keep the distance between them…and herself on the dock.

“I’m sorry it’s too late…my day is ruined so…now it’s your turn” the curl of his lip was sinister as he waded closer to the dock and yanked at her ankles.

“GarrETH!” She squealed almost with glee, her giggles taking over any annoyance she may have had. “You can’t!”

Garreth just gave her a look. His eyes screaming: You can do better than that.

“Give me exactly one good reason why I shouldn’t” he demanded, ceasing his tug of war but not releasing her ankles.

“I…soggy socks are the worst” she stated matter of factly.

“Ah…you are correct there” he said looking up at her with a twinkle in his eye.

That’s when his fingers moved slowly up her calves his thumb brushing over her shin. They crept further and further up, his body manoeuvring between her legs as he went.

Garreth stared up at her, watching her closely as his fingers followed the outline of her stockings. His smile faltered, taking his lip between his teeth in an attempt to distract himself from what he was doing.

It was a fools errand.

He stepped closer, wrapping his arms around her, ignoring the way the flesh of her thighs spilled between his fingers as he readjusted her in his arms.

“Do you trust me?” he said softly, his voice husky and barely above a whisper.

“Yes…” she breathed, though right then in that moment she didn’t know why.

He was touching her unlike anyone ever had.

He was pulling her into unknown depths she knew she couldn’t recover from.

He was looking at her with eyes she couldn’t recognise but…enjoyed.

Everything screamed at her to not trust him.

But this was Garreth.

She trusted no one more.

With one achingly slow move, his hands were behind her, lifting her effortlessly into the air. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist as he stepped back and lowered her slowly into the water, his fingers digging into her skin.

For safety purposes, obviously

Her breath caught and she gasped as the ice cold water lapped at her legs, her giggly laughter getting ripped from her.

“You…” a shiver shoots up her spine as her body acclimatises to the temperature “…you remember I can’t swim right?”

“I remember…” he says softly “…I’ve got you”

His voice was unlike she’d ever heard it. All traces of his impish and cheeky behaviour had vanished. Like all humour and teasing had been Obliviated from him and what was left was his kind hearted nature and…something husky and low she couldn’t recognise.

Those bright emerald eyes traced down her body as he shifted her to get a better grip of her. They seemed to loiter over her for longer than necessary.

Then when he looked up he was grinning from ear to ear. The spark of Garreth seemingly returning.

“Don’t think I’d let you drown, do you?”

“Well no…but anything could be down here. You could get distracted” she teases.

“The only thing that runs the risk of distracting me down here is you” he jostled her in the water almost to prove his point. The sudden cold splash of water up her lower back, saved her from the impending blush that crept up her neck

“Besides we’ve been down here for almost three years, I’ve been down here longer and the only creatures I’ve ever seen down here is that family of toads across the way…” he tilts her in the direction of the small alcove on the opposite side to them “…though I haven’t seen them for a while” he mutters.

“Murkys’ family? Oh no I hope he’s okay” Maeve fusses, wiggling about in his arms to crane her neck towards the tiny coast.

“Murky? Of course you named it” he chastised lightly, shaking his head and laughing

“Him. He has dark purple spots on his back, male of the species” she pushes an imaginary pair of glasses up her nose and bobbles her head haughtily.

“Oh shut up…” he grins devilishly and bends his knees, lowering himself and her into the water.

Maeve screamed bloody murder at the sudden assault of water. She felt it slither down the folds of her shirt, down the back of her skirt and other places unspeakable in polite conversation.

When he lifts her back up, all the while chuckling loudly, he noticed the way her white shirt conforms to her body. He fought the urge to wrap his hands around her tiny waist, feel the course cotton of her shirt slide over her skin. Her pale skin was clearly visible under her clothes, the white addition of her shirt making her look paler, if that was even possible.

And somehow the water had agitated her perfume. Or her scent in general.

All he could smell was the subtle lavender of her hair that seemed to linger around her neck. The floral undertones of her clothes wrapped him in a warm blanket. He almost forgot he was stood in freezing water.

His senses were overloaded by her.

Her sharp gasping and laughter that shook her chest, wasn’t helping his current situation. He became suddenly very aware of where his hands were. Just a couple of inches up, a simple slide over her stockings, and his fingers would be buried within a larger more ample explanation of flesh.

Shaking his head clear of such lewd thoughts only meant when his eyes open once again, he was greeted with more…

He saw the darker divot of her belly button, the small ridges of her ribs and up to the supple curve of her…

His eyes snapped back up to face and he silently thanked Merlin that she was wrapped around his waist and not his hips…

“Now that I know I no longer need to contend with Ominis…” He whispered, looking up at her through amber lashes.

“…it’s just you that stands in my way…”

“What do you mean?” She said as her laughter from the waters assault died down.

“Me and you…we should go somewhere”

“You mean like a…” her chest grew tight.

Surely he didn’t mean…a date.

Her hands gripped his shoulders harder and she leant into him. The chuckle that left his chest now low, more like a grumble, but the curve of his lips indicated just how pleased he was with the evenings turn.

“I mean like a gold old fashioned courtly ritual m’lady.” He tips her whole body as though she were a hat, causing more giggles to topple from her lips “See if this is just friendship…or more”

“What if….” She whispered, summoning all the confidence she could “…what if I already know…that I want more”

Garreth barked one singular laugh and shook his head incredulously.

With one long stride, he waded through the water and pressed her back into the dock. His one arm reached underneath her, freeing his other to snake up her back and cup the back of her neck.

Then his lips were on her.

They were warm and soft and everything her current environment wasn’t. But that all melted away when his lips slid over hers parting slightly as he moved back towards her. Her breathe washed over him and he realised…her mouth was open too. Panting and breathing into him, moving closer to claim his lips as much he claimed hers.

When her legs tightened around him, he trusted she wouldn’t fall and pressed further into her body, his other hand joining his first to cup her cheek.

Well…didn’t trust. More like his body acted on primal instinct and he could no longer control himself.

Each of her soft curves pressed into him as he pinned her to the dock.

And when her cold fingertips graced his neck, he snapped.

A low growl rolled from his chest and he quickly gripped her thighs once more, lifting her up and back onto the dock.

She yelped softly but shuffled back, looking down at Garreth. His clothes soaked through, clung to every muscle she could have only imagine before. She now saw them, tensing and rippling as he lifted himself from the water, the droplets falling from each strand of hair and his nose.

He climbed over her, eyes dark.

“I can’t believe this whole time, there was no one stopping me from doing this…and yet I didn’t” that husky quality to his voice was back again.

“You assumed” she teased

“I did…” he admitted “…you just…spend a lot of time with them”

“I spend more time with you”

“My apologises, you make it difficult to think when I’m around you. Make the obvious a bit harder to see”

How sweet

She reached towards his chest. She wanted to feel his warm lips again, especially now out of the water, the drafty air of the One Eyed Witch Passageway now prickling her skin. As her arm looped around his neck, she shivered, violently.

Her chuckled.

“Let’s go…we should get you somewhere warm before you catch a cold” he leant back onto his knees and stood, offering her a hand to stand back up. His hand was still somehow warm. And he seemed completely unfazed by his sodden clothes.

He pulled her onto her feet and gathered their belongings, pulling her robes around her and added his own on top of that. She smiled up at him, pulling both robes around her shoulders, the red of his robes hood added a crimson under glow to her features. She looked as though she was blushing as much as she did when his hands slid up her legs. His fingers digging into-

Stop

“Come on…I’ll walk you to your common room” he whispered.

He bent to sniff at the cauldron he had half-heartedly thrown ingredients into earlier.

The almost overwhelming smell of Lavender, Various flora and HoneyDukes filled his nose, stronger than it ever had.

It was definitely her.

Always her

Masterlist

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kylejsugarman · 2 years ago

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i have this hc that in alaska when people ask jesse abt his scar he just says he was mauled by his neighbors dog or something as a kid. thoughts?

my thought is im going to blow u up one billion times until u become a celestial body to rival the sun in its fiery totality.

my OTHER thought is that, unfortunately, thats a wonderful parallel and bookend :( its a pretty easy lie to maintain even if a keen observer noticed some of his scars are a little "fresher" (haven't totally keloided and keratinized the way a scar gotten as a child would have by this point) but it fits so horrifically well into this narrative that jesse was Never a rabid dog. he was neck-deep in dog imagery the whole show because of his loyalty and the Well Look At Him, but he was not a rabid dog, he was not this loose end to be tied off by taking him out behind the shed no matter how many times people tried to do that to him. the people around him—particularly walt—were the rabid dogs, mauling him for their own selfish gain. rabies is not something that can ever be cured once its symptomatic, which is why all the others died and jesse lived. so yeah, in a way he was mauled by dogs, just as an adult. but he got away even if he does have the scars to show for it.

#lastsona #ask #syd squeaks #hey quick question: why are u doing this to me??#breaking bad #el camino #jesse pinkman

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fanficsforheartandsoul · 5 years ago

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Enemies | [Darth Maul x Fem!Reader] | Part II

Notes: God, this took a while. I’m sorry xD Also, my subscription for grammarly ran out and now I’m probably making a lot more mistakes again, sorry about that but I’m broke right now, it’ll take a while until I can get it again xD Also,this part is mostly showing the Reader’s life after Maul’s supposed death.

Fandoms: Star Wars, The Clone Wars

Warnings: Non-Canon Story, Angst, Depression, Slight OOC, Original Characters, Time Skips

Summary: Y/N mourns for something she can never have but Maul won’t let her.

Word Count: 6′672

Taglist: @princessayveke @pinkiemme @thats-not-very-roger-roger

If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)

Masterlist

Part I

They held a funeral for the dead Jedi, and her Master asked her if she wanted to attend.

Y/N declined with the reason that her injuries hurt too badly, although that was a white lie.

She would probably break down if she was surrounded by grieving people, and with his permission, she left Naboo in a hurry and returned to the Jedi temple on Coruscant.

When her feet touched the surface of the planet she lived on for the last 16 years, she breathed in. It felt like a massive weight was crushing her lungs and was dragging her shoulders to the ground.

She wanted to crumble right then and there, but her Master seemed to have announced her return to the High Council, and she was surprised to see Master Yoda standing at the transporter landing platform.

They weren't even close to the Jedi temple, so why...?

Y/N breathed out and straightened her back.

She respectfully cupped her hands and bowed before him, although there was a bad taste in her mouth that left her with a bitter feeling.

The old Jedi, who had trained her from a young age, looked at her with worried eyes. He could feel that the force around her was unstable. Very strange for the usually composed padawan.

It reminded him of Y/N's first few weeks in the temple. The same sadness and grief, if not a stronger one, weighted in her force presence, and it caused him to raise an eyebrow.

He had already heard that the padawan had met her childhood friend on Naboo, the boy for whom she had cried in her sleep for months when she was younger.

Suddenly they had met again, the Zabrak had turned to the Dark Side, and his destiny not only seemed to have shocked the young woman but his death deeply affected her too.

At first, he was doubtful when Master Ra'eli had told him that because the padawan he knew was collected and never let her emotions get to her head. She let it happen in her youth but not anymore.

That's at least what he thought. Now that he saw her empty eyes and the detached expression, he understood that he had been wrong.

His tone was soft when he said:

"About your mission, we should talk, Y/N."

The padawan squinted her eyes but she didn't voice any objections. She couldn't. Yoda was the grandmaster of the Jedi, after all.

Although she would rather cut her own arm off instead of having to discuss the events on Naboo. But she knew she would eventually have to face the council.

"Yes, Master," was all she replied.

He hummed and let his eyes scrutinize her, before turning around and leading Y/N to a taxi which seemed to have waited for them.

When they reached the Jedi temple, the padawan quietly walked beside Master Yoda, and they climbed the stairs in silence. Same as it had been with the short trip in the taxi.

The atmosphere was tense and almost unbearable for her. Every step she took seemed like one step closer to suffering, and her legs got heavier and heavier.

Thankfully, the grandmaster wasn't in a hurry, and she could adjust her pace to his, take a breather, and mentally prepare for the Council meeting that would definitely follow.

Her chest was tight from nervousness but also the bandage that stabilized her broken ribs.

Her Master had advised her to get into a bacta tank when she had returned to the temple, and she had nodded, although not understanding why she would need to go to such measures.

She didn't feel any prominent pain, she was fine. Everything was alright.

When she reached the end of the stairs, she noticed that Master Yoda was missing from her side. The padawan turned, and her eyes searched for him. He was standing a few steps under hers and looked at her with a thoughtful expression.

"Master?"

She shifted, hiding her faintly trembling hands in the long sleeves of her robes.

"Tired, you are, hmm? Discuss your mission tomorrow, we will. Go, heal, and rest."

Y/N watched him with a vague expression, but her eyes showed surprise. She lowered her head and bowed.

"Yes, thank you, Master."

The padawan turned and walked away, but Yoda had been able to see her quivering lips. The thoughtful expression disappeared, and his face turned grim.

The council, I must inform.

Y/N walked through the temple, but instead of taking the stairs to the Halls of Healing, she went straight to her quarter in the northern parts of the temple.

She was sure that the first aid she had received on Naboo was enough for her. Her head had stopped hurting after a medical droid treated her wound and gave her some painkillers, and the pressure on her chest was weak.

She would heal in time. After all, everyone did, right?

When she reached the dormitory, she walked past some rooms and suddenly froze when she saw a particular nameplate.

All this time, he was practically my neighbor?

His blue eyes and auburn hair came to her mind, memories of two children playing hide and seek in the Jedi gardens and many sleepovers. Anguish spread in her chest, she gritted her teeth and walked past Kenobi's room.

Five doors later, she finally reached her quarter, and she pushed her code into the panel to unlock it.

When she was finally in her own four walls, she felt a big void in her chest, and her emotionless expression crumbled. She stood frozen in the middle of her room, her shaky breathing the only sound.

Y/N closed her eyes, and she tried to concentrate on taking deep breaths. She focused so hard on it that she didn't even realize how her fingernails dug into her palm and tore the skin.

Focus.

While she tried to get control over her emotions again, she tightened her grip on a grey broken object with sweaty hands.

I’m fine. I’m fine, everything is alright.

Then, finally after a long time, her breath slowly calmed down, her fists unclenched, and the force stabilized around her.

When she opened her eyes again, Y/N's face was perfectly stoic, and her whole body was numb. The tight feeling in her chest was gone. Everything was gone. She was functional.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

When the High Council called her the next day, Y/N had already acquainted herself with her body's numbness.

And when the most respected Jedi of the temple asked her about the fight, they were surprised by the lack of emotions in her force presence and the neutral tone in her voice.

When she talked about Maul, she used detached words, and instead of addressing him with his name from his childhood, she said The Sith Lord, The Dark Side User, or just simply The Man.

The members of the council stared at her with curious eyes, only Master Yoda's expression was somewhat grave.

Then Master Windu asked the most important question, and the other Jedi held their breath for Y/N's response.

"Is it not true that he was your childhood friend?"

The question was justified, and everyone in the room knew that. The padawan stiffened just a little, and Ki-Adi-Mundi and Shaak Ti slightly leaned forward in anticipation.

She breathed in and straightened her back. Her expression was indifferent, but it looked oddly superficial.

"The person that killed Master Jinn was not my childhood friend, no. I believe that the Zabrak I once knew was already dead. The Sith had destroyed him."

The grandmaster tilted his head, and his hand traced over his chin.

"Us the truth, you must tell, padawan. Your feelings...?"

Y/N's eyes and force presence held no trace of a lie when she answered:

"I'm fine, Master."

And it was the truth.

It was the truth for the next days, the next weeks, and the next years.

She was fine.

After her Master had returned, and she was allowed to recuperate for a month, the High Council decided to grant her and Kenobi the rank of a Jedi knight.

The young man received his title because he killed a Sith lord and passed the Trial of The Flesh, while she...

Y/N didn't even know what she achieved to obtain the title.

She had acted like a fool as if she had forgotten all her training. She got injured, couldn't stop her former childhood friend from killing a Jedi, and was useless in general.

But Yoda knighted her anyway.

According to him, her Master said she was ready. But she wasn’t. She really wasn’t.

But like so many times before, she remained silent about it and didn't object.

What use was it to protest? She just wanted to be left alone.

The new rank didn't fill her with pride. But neither did she feel shame. The numbness was the only thing in her heart.

And if she had to take a hard guess, she would say that it was because of Maul. When Kenobi had slashed him in half, the Jedi killed part of her too.

It tormented her in her sleep. Almost every night, she would wake up in cold sweat, hateful yellow eyes haunting her.

Only then did she feel something again. But she definitely preferred the numbness over the fear and anxiety.

It cost all her concentration to ignore all the pain she felt from Maul’s death. The grey object she took from Naboo became her companion, and in the darkest nights, she held it tightly in her sleep.

The Jedi knight ignored her nightmares, and she plunged into work, following her former Master's footsteps; she became a Jedi Sentinel, a Shadow like him. Partly because her Master had mostly taught her about a Sentinel's duties, but also because there was a flame in her heart.

A flame that couldn't be quelled. She wanted to extinguish the hateful fire that burned in her chest and finally achieve peace but for that, she needed to obliterate everything that had something to do with the Sith and the Dark Side.

For Y/N, it was like a duty. Something she owed him.

Strangely, she believed that his soul would find peace in the force if she found the one who had done this to him, the one who had forced him to turn into that furious beast.

She had already decided not to remember the Zabrak as he had appeared before her during their last meeting.

In her heart there was only space for the shy boy with the biggest smile and the beautiful sun-like eyes from Dathomir. Not the angry, snarling Sith who held no mercy for any life form.

That’s at least what she told herself. But in her dreams was no happy little boy. Her illusions of a grown-up, laughing Maul had been destroyed.

How could her subconscious still project that version of him she had imagined over the years?

The man Y/N had dreamt about never existed in the first place.

The Zabrak didn’t grow up to become the courageous and prideful warrior she had assumed he would. His presence hadn’t been relaxing. His eyes hadn't been filled with warmth.

The Maul in her dreams was cold. The touch of a single finger of his would cause a shiver to run down her spine, and when he choked her in anger, it felt as if her whole body was frozen.

He would always strangle her.

It was the same scenario over and over again. A replay of the fight. Only that she was alone. Her Master, Kenobi, Master Jinn, none of them were there. And she and Maul would fight.

And she would lose. Every god damn time.

She couldn’t even remember how many times he had strangled her. Always with one hand. Always with an ugly grin on his face and hateful eyes. He would lean forward, his breath tickling her ear.

His mouth would move. He would tell her something, but she could never understand. Could never hear what he said. Only a ringing sound filled her ears.

Like the last time, they had held eye-contact.

When he had died.

And then he would clench his fist, and she would wake up with sweaty robes, a damp forehead, and a phantom pain in her throat.

People always said that Jedi Shadows controlled their emotions with an iron hand, but that wasn’t true. Y/N was sure that the Jedi Shadows, in fact, all Jedi, couldn't control their emotions at all.

They just buried them under the hypocritical rules of the order and their Jedi duties. That’s what she did too. And from what she had seen, she wasn't the only one.

She could name so many examples.

The Jedi knight ignored the desperation she felt when she couldn’t understand what the Zabrak tried to tell her in her nightmares. She ignored the instability in the force when she was alone, and she moved on.

If she couldn't sleep, she meditated. If she couldn’t meditate, she sparred.

It was a test of the mental barriers she had set up. Dark thoughts lurked at the border of her peaceful meditations, and it took a lot of restraint to not let them in.

But the wall of numbness protected her. She was happily bathing in the numbness of her body and mind.

And Y/N was fine.

Fine enough to receive her first special mission from the Council of First Knowledge. It took a while though.

Apparently, the High Council was worried about her mental health at first, but when they noticed that she seemed alright when she visited the library or went to meditate and train, they allowed the mission after two months. It was an easy task.

Find a Holocron, retrieve, and destroy it.

"Don't forget this, Y/N."

Her former Master had said, one day before her mission. He gave her back her lightsaber. The one she had lost on Naboo.

She took it silently, not able to look him in the eyes. The memories of him losing control of his emotions were still vivid before her eyes.

She could feel his stare on her body and she knew, he wanted to talk about that day, but she couldn’t. There was nothing to talk about, at least in her opinion.

When she touched the cold metal of her lightsaber, it felt like a bolt went through her body, and she almost dropped it.

This weapon held the darkest memories of her life. She would never use it again. Never.

Things would well up when she touched the hilt. She couldn’t handle it.

So, she continued to use the blade she had borrowed from the temple guards.

After the mission, I should ask the High Council if I could pay a visit to Ilum.

And so she left.

They sent her alone.

And when she came back, she had finished her task with outstanding results.

It only took her two weeks.

The councils were very pleased and praised her.

Y/N smiled bitterly in secret, remembering all the lives she had taken, for the sake of one stupid Holocron about an already destroyed Sith temple.

And the truth slowly revealed itself, if she wanted to or not. But she ignored it.

Like so many other things and signs.

She held onto the rules of her Jedi life, as if they were a lifeline. The code was the only thing that kept her from crumbling.

The woman’s reputation was soon overshadowed by a rumor of a padawan. The boy Master Jinn had saved on Tatooine, the one he entrusted to Kenobi.

Anakin Skywalker. The Chosen One.

She had laughed when she first saw him train.

This was the child everyone was talking about? The savior? The one who would keep the force in balance?

Wishful thinking.

If the Jedi entrusted the destiny of the Republic to that mere boy, she couldn’t understand why the Sith went into hiding. The Jedi were clearly vulnerable and the High Council members were old fools.

She swallowed her bitter laugh and blasphemous thoughts and went on with her days.

She received the permission of the High Council to get a new kybercrystal on Ilum after she told them about her "accidental” loss of her lightsaber.

She traveled with some padawans, and she knew that they watched her with eagle eyes.

Her reputation may have been overshadowed by Skywalker's, but people still knew about The Prodigy.

She ignored them with clenched fists. Her acquired inofficial title now seemed like a curse.

Anyways, the trip was successful, and 4 months after her former best friend's death, she got a new lightsaber.

Y/N also chose to become a Jedi Sentinel because they rarely stayed at the temple on Coruscant. When she was a padawan, she had a lot of duties in the Archives, but now that she was a Knight…

She could finally leave and get stationed somewhere far away. Far away from her former Master. Far away from the man who killed Maul. Far away from the watchful eyes of the High Council. Far away from all the hypocrisy.

And when she arrived on Dantooine, it felt like she could finally leave the turmoil, that waged in her heart, behind.

Dantooine was far from the Core Worlds, and although its Jedi temple was abandoned, the Council of First Knowledge sent her anyway, because there were rumors that a local gang was going to trade some Sith artifacts. She was supposed to infiltrate the group and find out more.

It was a welcome change.

Y/N could take off the Jedi robes for a short moment, and when she changed into civilian clothes, there was a weight taken from her shoulders. It wasn’t that she disliked being a Jedi, it was more the things that came with being one that burdened her.

Aside from the obvious restriction of letting your emotions run free and the fact that she always needed to restrain herself, there was also something else that had caused a bitter taste in her mouth.

The prohibition of marriage and love had shocked her when she had joined the order.

As a child who was super excited about marrying Maul... It felt like the world came crashing down.

It had stacked on the fact that she would never meet her best friend again. However, that shock slowly faded with the progress of training and the increase of her knowledge of the Jedi philosophy.

And so she thought she was alright.

But now that she had been reminded of the feelings she had held for Maul... It felt like a great loss.

She would never bear children. Her bloodline wouldn’t continue with her. There would never be a legacy.

Y/N L/N would never teach her own blood anything.

Of course, if she wanted to teach someone, she could take a padawan, but that also wasn’t in her hands.

The council would decide if she was ready for one, though she highly doubted they would ever say she was. But that wasn’t the problem.

Even if she had a padawan. She could never love them. She wasn’t allowed to. Like she wasn’t allowed to love Maul.

Attachments are forbidden.

Forget him.

The words of renowned Jedi echoed in her head, and it felt like she got strangled.

There was a tiny, bitter voice in her heart that whispered that there was always another possibility, another choice, free of any Jedi rules.

But these feelings and imaginations were not appropriate for a Jedi.

So she closed off all the forbidden thoughts and concentrated on her mission. It would take a while to establish a trusting relationship between the locals, but she welcomed this period with open arms.

And so time passed.

The mission on Dantooine had unexpectedly turned into a giant conspiracy.

It involved not only the planet in the Raioballo sector but also planets from across the galaxy. The thread puller: The Hutt clan. The Sith artifacts were used by a corrupted Hutt who was drunk on the powers of the Dark Side. Y/N's planned 8 months operation turned into 10 years undercover.

And in all this time, not once did she let herself break down and grief.

Not for Maul, not for the friends she had made on Dantooine and who then died in a battle.

Her walls around these emotions were invincible. They always emerged victoriously. That's at least what she believed.

Still, Y/N had changed. The years far away from Coruscant had influenced her far more than they should have.

She lost the humble attitude, wore jewelry, used her charm as a woman to get information, drank alcohol outside from investigations, enjoyed bare hand brawls, talked in a crude manner, laughed about the Republic and the Jedi, and found pleasure in visiting loud cantinas with drugs and dancers.

She let go of the restrictions the Jedi order had set on herself and she changed.

The smooth edges of her character hardened. Mercy wasn't her first choice anymore.

She told herself that this was only part of her cover, but she had slowly stepped off the supposedly rightful path, which was dangerous for a Jedi. But she hadn't felt like one in a long time anyway.

Although she was undercover, Y/N regularly meditated. In the deepest hours of the night, she trained her forms. She didn't allow her body to get rusty. It was her weapon after all. But the philosophies of the Jedi were far away in the Outer Rims…

At some point, years into her mission, the code didn’t help her to meditate anymore.

And one day, she found herself in a dangerous situation, and the first thing that came to her mind wasn't a Jedi technique.

Magick.

It was only a small trick she had been taught on Dathomir, but it was a dip into the Dark Side.

Only a toe, just for a second, but it changed Y/N's views fundamentally.

The feeling was familiar, it trickled through her body like warm summer rain, and the supposed hate, fear, and violence that the Jedi associated with the Dark Side was nowhere to be found. There was only her own sadness and pain.

And the questions she had long buried rose again.

What if all Dark Side users were like Maul? Corrupted? What if one uses the Dark Side to do good? What if there is more than just black and white?

She had met ambiguous people in her time on Dantooine and later in the Hutt space, and although they had done bad things, they were not evil people.

Some were forced to do bad things by others, some had never done something else in their life since the had been a child, and others were just hurting too much to understand what they had done.

But in all of them could Y/N feel and see good.

Was it only their protectiveness over their comrades, or the way they treated their ships with fondness, they were living, which meant they made mistakes. Everyone did.

Had the Jedi realized that?

Although her walls around her emotions crumbled and she slowly began to see through the veil of her years in the Jedi order, she stopped herself from probing further into unknown territory.

After all, she still felt obligated to the Jedi and found momentary peace in their principles.

They had raised her, fed her for years, they gave her a place to sleep, they taught her morals and showed her a path to her true heart, to the force.

After such a long time on Dantooine where she saw the slums and the circumstances, some people had to live in… She had lived like a queen in the Jedi temple compared to them.

Y/N acted as if there were two people inside of her. Her cover as the smuggler and the Jedi. And she treated them differently.

Y/N L/N was banned to the shadows of the night and only moonlight. While Dove reigned over the days and bathed in the sun.

She had been taught that a Jedi Shadow always needed a perfect cover, it was supposed to be natural. And Y/N was good at playing a determined, slightly crude smuggler with big ambitions who disliked the Republic.

Another padawan had told her once that undercover missions brought out the secret character traits of a person but she hadn’t believed him. She didn't realize that he was right.

Both Y/N and Dove were one. Both were a part of her. And their attitudes and beliefs slowly mixed.

Y/N L/N’s true colors slowly manifested on the canvas.

What once was covered up, bled through.

However, she desperately tried to hide it once again. Or else she believed she would lose her footing in the Jedi order.

Aside from her slightly worrying character changes, her mission was doing great.

She had finally met the man behind the whole conspiracy, and soon he would be arrested. In the worst case, she would have to kill him, but she wanted to avoid that. Her small encounter with the Dark Side had made her hesitate.

But then it happened.

She received a holo transmission from the Council of First Knowledge. Something that had only occurred twice in the ten years she had been undercover. Her contact person was usually someone outside of the order. But this time it was all the high tiers.

Y/N had a bad premonition, and it was linked to a nightmare she had a few days ago, where the force had cried out to her in unexplainable pain.

The fact that she had dreamt about something else than her friends’ deaths, was already a shock for her.

"Y/N L/N, it's good to know you're still alive."

The woman frowned a little. Did they believe she had died? She had contacted one of her informants of the Order just three weeks ago.

"Masters", was all she responded, and she nodded at the council members instead of bowing, too used to this greeting after all these years undercover.

She recognized only one of them, the Caretaker of First Knowledge, the others seemed to be new members.

Which was understandable, ten years had passed and the four members rotated every five years. She had seen two generations of masters during her mission.

All of them seemed to be relieved in a way, she could feel it through the force.

She raised an eyebrow.

What is happening?

Y/N understood that her mission was a rare case.

Usually, undercover missions wouldn’t go on for that long, mainly because the order wouldn’t let a Jedi be this deeply involved with the galaxy’s underworld but the council had worried that the Hutt, who had stepped into the world of the Dark Side, would cause havoc for the Republic, and they obviously wanted to avoid that.

So, she understood their concern but their relief seemed slightly too big for only that reason, after all, they didn’t really know her.

After thinking about it for a second, she hesitantly asked:

“You seem concerned. Did something happen?”

The older members shared a look and then the caretaker said with a grave and urgent undertone:

"You must have heard it. The Galactic Republic is at war with The Confederacy of Independent Systems. We would like you to-"

"WHAT?", she interrupted with a loud voice.

A war had started? How?! When?

She was currently staying on Nal Hutta, but she was sure that news about a war would have been told to her. After all, Dove held a high position in the Mantis gang right now.

The Jedi Master on the hologram looked at her with worried expressions.

"We can't talk for long, this channel will be closed soon. L/N, we will delete all Jedi Shadow names in the Archives. It's a security measure. But we would like you to finish your mission and then go to the coordinates we'll send you. You’ll meet with other Shadows and receive further instructions."

She just blinked.

What was happening? They were wiping out the records? Why? How where the Jedi involved with the war?

A sinking feeling appeared in her gut, and she realized that the voices she had heard in her dreams must have been dying force users, Jedi.

So many lives...

This can’t be true!

Her hands clenched, and she hid them behind her back. Soon she could probably do that in her black robes again. Maybe even on a battlefield... The thought made her gulp.

"Masters, will there be another way to contact you?"

They shook their heads.

"It's not safe anymore, child", said a female member of the council. She smiled sadly at Y/N.

"The Dark Side of the force revealed itself again. You must stay safe. May the force be with you."

Before she could even ask what that first sentence was supposed to mean, the transmission ended. Only the blinking of her comlink announced that she had received the coordinates of the council and that the conversation really had happened.

Y/N breathed in slowly. Her hands slightly shook, but she clenched them into fists and closed her eyes.

The darkness in the force showed itself again.

The icy feeling in her chest was slowly burned away. A determined fire began to stir in her heart.

Whatever this meant, she would find out. For him.

"S9, how far away are we?"

After the holo transmission, Y/N had continued her task. Although it ended abruptly and not how she had planned.

How could she know that the big boss would commit suicide?

That wasn't a move somebody had pulled on her before. Even in all those 10 years, no one had rather killed themselves than surrender to her.

But it had happened, and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

It was a bad outcome for her mission because there were definitely some secrets left that should be revealed and the corrupted Hutt had been able to use the force in incredible ways, but Y/N didn't care anymore.

He was dead and there were more urgent things she had to take care of.

The news she now received every day of the war between the Republic and the Separatists worried her.

The Republic had somehow gotten ahold of a giant army of white armored men. They were clones.

She couldn’t find out how that happened, or where they came from. But she had heard that Jedi knights, especially Jedi Guardians, had been appointed as generals for the clones.

The Peacekeepers of the Galaxy had turned into soldiers.

Y/N didn’t know if that was a choice the High council had made or if the Senate wanted them to do it but either way, the thought made her intestines churn. This spoke against the beliefs of the Jedi. She couldn’t find a reason to why the councils would have allowed that.

After she had left her cover in the dark of the night, she had only limited resources for information gathering.

The reason; the gang she had stayed with for 8 years had put a bounty on her head. And because she was partly the reason for their success and wealth, but also the death of their boss, it was a big one.

But she thankfully had no problems to leave Nal Hutta apart from a run-in with a clumsy bounty hunter, and she reached the coordinates which the council had sent her without any delays.

The droid that had accompanied her for the last decade whistled, and she sighed.

They had arrived on Corellia.

The planet in the Core Worlds was inhabited and it could be seen from space. Why the council chose this planet... Y/N didn't know. She never set a foot on it.

But now when she did she immediately felt a shift in the force.

This...!

The familiar calmness of her former Master's presence in the force seemed to wrap itself around her and although it had soothed her in the past, it now felt like an intrusion of her space.

She automatically hid her force presence and strengthened her mental walls. She could still feel him in the force and he could feel her but it seemed like he could no longer locate her as easily.

This pleased her and she slowly made her way to his location.

To tell the truth, Y/N wasn't ready to meet her former Master again. After she had left Coruscant and the order for her undercover mission, she had a lot of time to think about the events that had occurred on Naboo.

Her Master's heartbroken face from that time had haunted her for many years.

It was because she couldn't find any reason why he looked at her with such an expression. No, that wasn't true.

There was a reason she could imagine, but it didn't make any sense, so she never acknowledged it. Because it spoke against the Jedi code. And her Master wasn't a person who would break it.

But now that she thought about it... Maybe she didn't know enough about him to actually be able to say that.

She had also believed that she knew Kenobi well, they had been friends for years after all, but in the end...

And from all the things she had observed in her 16 years of living with the Jedi order, she knew that almost no one had a completely white vest when it came to the code.

So maybe it could be that her Master had felt more than just basic companionship for the Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn.

But she didn't want to think about it. Her beliefs were already shaken, there was no need to shake them further.

The meeting point seemed to be at a backstreet right behind the daily market. Y/N assumed that they would take the actual discussions to a secondary location.

The Council of First Knowledge had always been careful in regards to information distribution, that's why she didn't question her lack of knowledge about the upcoming meeting.

Before she turned into the alley, she told her astromech droid to stay put and keep an eye out, then she walked into the shades of the houses and joined the other eight shadows who were already present.

"Identify yourself", demanded one of them, a man with a big build and a deep voice.

She recognized him as one of the former council members, Anatosh, or something like that.

"Y/N L/N", she stated and she turned her head to one of the other hooded people.

Her eyes found the ones of her former Master.

The brown color was still the same but Leon Ra'eli had developed deep circles under his eyes and she could see that he had gained more wrinkles in his face. He had aged and his former rather handsome attributes had dulled. Maybe from the war but probably mostly from aging.

"Y/N, it's good to see you alive and well."

His voice was also familiar, however, the soft undertone was missing and his exhaustion shined through.

Oh, Master... What have you become...?

"Master", she replied and greeted him with a bow.

A whisper from the other present members of the Jedi order took her attention away from her former Master, and she gladly stopped facing him.

"Is she the one who people called The Prodigy? I thought she had died?"

Y/N frowned but before she could say anything, the former council member, raised his voice: "Now that we're all here, we should find a better place to talk."

She turned her head a little and noticed that six more people had joined them, there were now 15 Jedi Shadows attending this mysterious meeting.

The 34-years old Jedi bit her lip, she hadn't been able to feel the other six approaching, they were like ghosts.

Y/N knew immediately that they were masters of the force concealment that she had practiced for such a long time. She expected herself to be a skilled user but the newcomers were way out of her league.

"It's good to see you again, Anatol", said one of them, and the voice seemed familiar for her.

The former Council member just nodded at the other and then ordered:

"I sent all of you our secondary location, we meet there at 1600. You have 15 minutes, now disperse!"

The military tone slightly put Y/N off but she ignored it for the time being. She turned her back on the group and walked out of the alley, back to R7-S9's location.

"We're going", was all she said to him and he followed her obediently with a whistle.

Under her long sleeves, she checked her comlink for the coordinates.

It wasn't far away, she would only have to cross the market, and then she would arrive at the steps of the bar where they would meet again.

"It's probably going to be a room in the back", she muttered to herself and the droid agreed.

This method reminded her of the countless rendezvous she had held when she was part of the Mantis gang. Only that she wasn't the one leading the meetings now.

While she traversed the market, she inspected the food at some stalls, bought a couple of old holo-music-tapes, and acted like a tourist, just to make sure. Anatol didn't give them 15 minutes for nothing. If they had traveled together as a group full of cloaked figures it would cause a lot of attention.

But while she acted like a relaxed market visitor, her mind was elsewhere.

She hadn't been sure if this meeting would be held with all Jedi Shadows present, still wasn't sure, but if it was...

Where was the rest of them?

Although she had never met all the Jedi Shadows scattered in the galaxy, she had seen more than just 15. She had met at least 40 members of the special group of the order, so what if...

She couldn't finish the thought, it was too worrying.

Although she had distanced herself from other Jedi, mainly involuntary through her mission, but also because of the events she had been through, she still held the feeling of companionship for her fellow Jedi.

Especially Jedi shadows. It had weakened, yes, but after everything, she was still a part of them and the knowledge that they also wanted to get rid of the darkness in the galaxy strengthened the feeling of the connection.

So she worried. That they were the only ones left. That they had been killed, destroyed by the newly revealed darkness in the galaxy. She remembered the stories of the war, the rumors about the Separatist's generals, how cruel they were.

And her resolve only strengthened, she would cleanse the galaxy of the darkness. No Sith would ever be able to prosper again. She swore on the death of her best friend, all evil shall be annihilated.

And if she had to follow the Jedi rules for this, she would.

If she had to work together with her estranged Master, she would.

If she had to join a war for this, she would.

[Somewhere on Lotho Minor, 20 BBY, 2 years later]

"This is where you live? How long have you been here?"

"Years and years and years."

He inhaled sharply.

"Through victory, my chains are broken. The chains - The chains are the easy part", his voice turned soft, vulnerable and he mewled: "It's what goes in here that's hard."

Savage frowned at the creature that was supposed to be connected with him through blood, he could say creature because the being before him was more like a beast than a man.

The sobbing and clanking and screeching irritated him and he replied:

"You have been lost, my brother. Do you remember who you are, where you came from?"

The spider legs began to rattle as if they shook from fright and their owner growled: "Always remember I am fear. Always remember I am hunter..."

The yellow-skinned Zabrak raised a brow when he felt the shift in the force, the fury and hate now so prominent like a signal flare.

Oh, this creature was definitely his brother, the strength was undeniable, although he questioned the sanity of him. But if his brother had stayed here on this doomed garbage planet with this body for years...

It was understandable.

His brother continued, but his tone had changed, once again it was spiked with pathetic desperation but an angry and seething undertone had joined.

"Always remember I am filth. Always remember I am nothing."

Like an animal, he snarled and his body twisted. Savage watched the poorly constructed legs with questioning eyes.

"Your legs...", he began but his brother interrupted him hotly.

"That scum! He took them from me! He took them!", he screamed in wrath and clenched his hands into fists so tightly, that the rough and coursed skin of his palm tore.

"Who? Who took them?", Savage urged and his brother answered.

"Jedi."

He repeated it and then slumped over the fire, his voice turning to a soft murmur. Savage took a step forward and knelt on one knee.

"You remember?", he asked but the other didn't reply to his question. Instead, he whimpered something, and the Zabrak leaned even more forward over the fire to hear what his brother said.

"They took her... They took her... They took her... I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you too."

Suddenly he grabbed his brother's arms, and Savage almost plunged into the fire, had the red-skinned Zabrak not held onto him with his strong grip.

"They took her!!!"

Savage had no idea what his brother was talking about.

"Who? The Jedi took who?"

His brother's voice had an emotional undertone that Savage couldn't quite place.

"Y/N, Y/N", he only muttered over and over again.

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wherearemyglassesbro · 5 years ago

Note

fruk but england moves into a new house thats haunted by super fucking annoying ghost france, who will possess England and make him do little things (changing the channel, forces him to flip the eggs so they dont burn, etc) and everytime england asks him how he died, france has an entirely new story ("heartattack" "mauled by bears" "suffocated on a grape") but secretly was just always a ghost but he wants to keep the mystery alive

This is Francis’s house and hhs house alone!! He’s spooked every mortal out of his house within the last century. His house is from the 1800s. He didn’t die there or anything he just likes the hoshse so he was like “aight it’s mine now”

Arthur got a really good deal on the house since it was so old and no one would even check it out. He bought it after one visit! He isn’t afraid of ghosts so all of the folk stories he was told didnt scare him, he just found it funny

Francis was in physical pain as Arthur moved his stuff in. His floral couch is hideous. His closet is full of dull greens and khaki colored clothes with no flair. And he had the audacity to paint the kitchen yellow! Yellow! Francis couldn’t even float around there without gagging. His precious house was being ruined and of course he had to do something about it!

Arthur blacked out for an hour and when he came to he found himself painting the kitchen white. It had blue wallpaper before he painted it yellow- he thought the yellow was neat- why was he painting..? He didn’t rememeber painting. He wasn’t in paint clothes, there were no tarps on the ground...Arthur was somewhat shocked but just excused it as being tired. Turns out the kitchen looked better white so he finished the project and went along with his day

Arthur watches a lot of detective shows on channel 25. Francis knows that cooking shows are on 37. He’ll possess him long enough to change the channel and then sit down beside him to watch. “What the...stupid Telly” Art changes the channel back only to be possessed once again to put the cooking shows back on. He finally shuts the TV off and leaves Francis to stew on the ugly couch

Finally he can’t take this anymore!! He’s going mad!! Nkt Arthur, Francis is! He can’t take it! The ugly couches, the bad taste in entertainment, the hideous clothes, the Beatles!!! Francis finally shows himself and makes a big show out of it “Arthur Kirkland! This house belongs to me! Get your stuff and leave before I make you!” “Make me? You can’t make me-“ one minute Arthurs talking and the next he finds himself halfway through packing a suitcase “EXCUSE YOU!??? Ghost?!!?! What the fuck??”

Of course these two argue for over an hour about this. Arthur states that he will not leave and then Francis makes him do something stupid. First he made him pack the suitcase, then he made him pluck one eyebrow, then he made him put on a suit to look ‘presentable’ and finally he covered him in flour. Arthur kept punching the air like an idiot. Stupid englishman you can’t punch a ghost! He is thoroughly embarassed because he’s been bested by a dead man

Their rivalry runs deep. Arthur keeps making changes to the house that he knows Francis won’t like. He takes the carpet out of the livingroom and replaces it with hardwood floors. He gets rid of the rose wallpaper in the guest room, he sells the gaudy chandeliers and replaces them with practical fixtures, he gets a new oven which apparently upset Francis for the sole reason that ‘you’ll ruin that thing! You wasted $500! You’ll burn it and my house to the ground you fool!’

He kinda enjoys having him around cause Arthur is just the worst at making friends. Fran’s just interesting to listen to “So how’d you die again?” “Guillotine” “What? I thought you died in the 1700s?” “Mh, maybe” “What do you mean maybe??” “I dunno. I also died by poison, I chugged it and it was a great way to go out” “What is wrong with you?” “You know another fun way to go? Death by roller coaster” “You’re full of shit, Bonnefoy” “What about the time I swam with dolphins and drowned” “You’re too conceited to get your hair wet”

^^ “Wanna know how I really died?” “I suppose. Youve never told the truth before-“ “Got choked too hard” “...I really hate talking to you”

Francis snoops in Arthurs junk mail and hides it. So when Arthurs being more of an ass than usual he possesses him and forces him to sign up for magazine subscriptions. He gets six swimsuit model magazines every month now and Francis howls with laughter every time “Look at that one! She kinda looks like me” “Shut up, pervert, I know you got these for yourself!” “I signed you up for them because you’ve been awfully lonely lately I think you could use a girlfr-“ “Oh my god shut up!!!”

Francis possesses Arthur when he cooks which really annoys him “So?? I was making a grilled cheese?? Care to explain why I now have a whole rotisserie chicken in the oven???” “‘Grilled cheese’ is not dinner! And chicken sounded good” “You can’t eat??!!!” “I can smell it!!!”

Just a lotta arguing and old people shenanigans, it is what it is ��👻

#aph #hetalia #headcanons #aph france #aph england #fruk #hetalia headcanons #ask away #ask away!#always up for hc requests

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unexpectedcronchiness · 5 years ago

Text

CINDERELLA AU I WROTE FROM THE GROUP CHAT PART SOMETHING

WARNING: mentions of abuse yall its now on ao3 so if youd rather read it there go ahead https://archiveofourown.org/works/24003439

It wasn't Remus's fault he was a werewolf. If anything it was the blasted moon's fault, for taking the sanity of his mind once a month to fulfill its own personal desires. it wasn't his fault his parents and sisters didn't like him. Well most of the time. He would be lying if he said he hadn't egged them on every now and then but not often, not often enough for this.

Remus gingerly rubbed his arm,one of the many areas whipped and beaten tender and raw frequently. It would have been nice to think that his loving family were smart enough to not have left marks, but alas, they weren't. Not that it mattered. He'd had marks since his first moon, when he was six.

The marks were just one other thing that showed how he was a monster, less than human but close enough to know how much he wanted to be one. His eyes, that reflected light like a wolf, his canine teeth, just a bit larger than normal, enough to be unsettling, and his ears, that could hear the slightest of sounds outside of the full moon.

His ears he didn't mind so much, they were nice and offered him his only friends, the animals near their manor, but they were still unnatural. Speaking of his friends he heard a familiar scatter and quickly made sure the door to the attic, his room, was locked.

Peter, as the rat had told him his name was, scurried into the room. Peter on the outside seemed like a rat in every sense of the word until you talked to him. It seemed he was the opposite of Remus in a sense, a human with just a taste of being something less than, to know to avoid it.

ya got any of that good cheese the rat squeaked. Remus rolled his eyes, Peter also had a very one tracked mind.

"sorry friend, no meals for me for a while" he stated matter of factly. Peter groaned as well as a rat could groan.

What did you do this time? You know you shouldn't egg them on.

"Why, little ol me?" Remus mock gasped, "I would never." then he laughed "Well I would and do, but not this time. This time it was because I forgot to clean the chicken coop a third time, silly me."

Peter looked stern

you could leave, tear them apart, you're a werewolf for merlins sake, you have magic, wandless magic most wizards would kill for it.

"you forget" Remus added bitterly "Most werewolves kill for it. Or well jealousy of it. doing wandless magic would be like waving a sign saying "hello, I'm a werewolf, incredibly dangerous and unstable, grab your pitchforks and torches, please, go ahead and kill me. Besides it's not like I can have my wand, its locked up remember." This much was true, his wand had been locked up since he had first been bitten. Peter squeaked in indignation, he didn't like when Remus spoke so casually about such things or used his wry sarcastic voice like such.

Remus would have continued if it weren't for the thudding of someone coming up the ladder to the attic. Peter started squeaking in fright.

"Shhh, Peter, be quiet, hide." Remus hissed, trying to keep the nerves out of his voice.

The trapdoor swung open and his father, Lyall Lupin, stepped in in disgust.

"You'll be getting a reprieve, lucky you." Remus tried not to perk up at this, knowing that the rest of the story was yet to come.

"The black family is holding a ball for their sons 19th birthday and we are invited. We, of course, means not you." Remus resisted scoffing, naturally.

The Lupins were high society and therefore high enough to be invited to many gatherings, occasions, balls, parties and such, even by the Black Family. To be honest, the black family mostly gained its respect and wealth from fear and other unsavory going ons.

still, he couldn't help the pang of remorse of knowing that he could never go to one, much less the blacks. He had heard that Sirius black, the heir to the blacks title, was a sight to behold.

Even with successfully having kept his emotions in check, one look of misery flying across his face was enough for punishment.

"crucio '' Lyall whispered, barely audible. but Remus's ears could hear it, Remus could recognize the hatred that would flare in his father's eyes, and the way his lips moved, and his arm raised ever so slightly. He would have known what was coming even without being a werewolf.

Remus didn't scream.

For the first 3 seconds at least. a new record, a small part of his brain laughed.

Finally after years, the pain ended and Remus was on all fours, choking up blood, and clawing at the floorboards.

Crucio was not a favorite in the Lupin household but it was used when deemed necessary, or ya know, when someone was just angry or stressed enough.

"Remember your place, monster. You do not, have not, and will not ever deserve to feel emotions. Emotions are for humans" Lyall sneered and then spat at Remus.

and with that he left, crying out a list of chores and a "We'll be back at 3 in the morning, have them completed by then."

Remus didn't dare nod. He sat in silence before he remembered that Peter was still in the room.

"Oh shit, Peter are you ok? SHit I'm so sorry you had to see that." While Remus had screamed whilst being taught his lesson, he had not cried. He frequently chalked that up to simply having no more tears left to cry, or that monsters simply didn't cry but as he saw Peter shaking in fear under his bed covers, his heart broke.

"Peter, shh, shh, hey, im ok, see im ok, everything's alright"

I should be comforting you! The cruciatus is illegal!

"so is a werewolf living unregistered."

thats different

"How so, please enlighten me between using a spell that makes you a monster and being a monster." Remus snapped.

Peter paused, then tried to keep his voice even.

Remus, you can't believe him, you are not a monster in any way shape or form, please tell me you don't believe him

"Oh really Peter, would a human be able to smell the fear on you, because I do, you're afraid Peter, afraid of me, afraid of the monster I am."

I am afraid for you, huge difference Peter retorted as calmly as he could muster. Remus sighed.

"I know, you're right, im sorry Peter. its- its been a long day, I think im going to take a walk"

don't be too long, its a full moon tonight.

"how could I ever forget" Remus said with a smile, and with that he left.

------------

Remus took a walk around the grounds, and finally collapsed on a stone bench by the moonflowers. ugh fucking moon flowers, he hated them. they only bloomed at night and only the magical ones bloomed on full moons.

Draping his arms and head across the bench as he knelt in the grass Remus sighed, trying to steady his breathing. In. Out. In. Out. but then the pace changed, the rhythm uneven, interrupted by hiccups, some breaths shallow, others unbearably deep like it was the first breath of air he'd ever had. Oh, he was crying, Remus realized. apparently he was still human enough to cry. Then he looked at the moon, steadily rising in the night sky and cried even harder.

"-i wish,I fucking wish" he hiccuped. "that I could just be fucking normal for one goddamn night, get dressed up even. Hell maybe I could go to the fucking black party." He mocked a posh voice "Wouldn't that be a ball" and he was laughing as he cried. He heard a rustle behind him, felt the shadow being cast on him and looked up.

A stag, a rather large one at that. That was odd, something about him reminded him of Peter.

it's dangerous to wish upon moonlight, hadn't you heard

"I think I've apparently preemptively paid my price, thanks for the concern." then Remus was looking at the stag oddly, he was different in the same way Peter was.

"besides," Remus continued conversationally, "I hear that werewolves come out on full moons, nasty things those werewolves are, can't trust them. You better run along before you get mauled."

you only change at midnight, I think im fine

this shocked Remus, he did not expect the stag to know he was a werewolf and was hoping for him to run along and let him continue being dramatic in the moonlight.

so about those wishes, what would you do for them

Remus could tell when someone was trying to change the topic, so he obliged.

"what would you do if you were in my situation?" Remus asked, not willing to play the stags games.

i would kill, hurt, take my revenge, my justice, take what's mine, my rights

"you and I are not very alike then, I don't think I ever could do that." This seemed to please the stag as it's upper lip curled just a bit.

please, call me James

and with that Remus felt the tingle of magic under his skin, yet it wasn't in a bad way like normal. Not understanding what was happening, but embracing the feeling, Remus shut his eyes, stood and let whatever the apparently magical deer wanted to happen, happen. Was it odd to say that he trusted this deer as much as Peter?

when Remus opened his eyes, he was wearing a white suit with blue and gold accents and he was standing in something hard, but not uncomfortable. He looked down. Fucking moonstone shoes. what the fuck. how were they not a) heavy as all get out b) uncomfortable as all get out and c) why there weren't literally any other material that wasn't moonstones.

"look while I appreciate being told I need fashion help,I don't think i-"

I'm not finished, the stag, James, said amused. then he turned around to a pumpkin in the garden.

Suddenly the pumpkin was growing, then it was paling in color, and then it was hollow, and then there were craters and oh shit, James , a deer, James the deer, had a fucked up sense of humor turning a pumpkin into a moon carriage that glowed in the other moons moonlight. Moon moon moon moon moon. Remus thought to himself in disgust. Remus just wished he understood what the punchline was.

"again, while I appreciate being told I need better wheels I still don't-" James laughed, or neighed, or whatever it was that stags did.

you're very impatient and then there was a rustle again, this time smaller

James turned around, not angry, not amused, but like something he had rather wished not to believe had made sense.

and look, now we have our mighty steed! James whipped his head around, and Remus cried out, recognizing Peter. Peter squeaked in fear and turned to run but was too slow. at an uneven pace his body began growing and shifting until he was a "mighty steed" as James put it

"Peter, are you ok, can you hear me?" the horse, Peter, nodded. James looked shocked, well as shocked as stag could look Remus supposed

you call him Peter?

"yes,I call you James and I call him Peter, there are these things called names you see, they're very funny" Remus retorted, angry that his friend had been turned into a horse

"Look mr.I would murder someone stag,I don't appreciate my friend being turned into a horse and would rather you tell me what's going on or turn him back this instant." James grinned,

for a smart one you can be stupid. I thought it was obvious, you have to arrive at the black mansion in style of course.

Remus gaped, no he couldn't do this, what if he was caught by his family, what if he hurt someone, what if he-

as he started to voice these complaints to James he was cut off

you've got one shot at normal, maybe even turning your life around, will you take it?

Remus didn't know if he could bear tasting normalcy and then having it ripped away from him but he couldn't bear it either way so he nodded.

good, because otherwise all this transfiguration would've gone to waste.

"transfiguration- wait- how do you , can you-"

well would you look at the time, the party's about to start, hop on lets get going, no time to dawdle and James nudged Remus into the carriage where Peter had hooked himself up begrudgingly.

"wait why are you doing this, what are you?"

who knows, maybe I'm your fairy godmother or something, did you ever think of that hmm, and frankly,I don't care.

and with that, James was gone.

----------

Sirius sighed. He would have much preferred a quiet celebration with his best mates Peter and James but sure, why not, throw a lavish party, thank you.

Still it's not like he could complain, he liked dancing, he liked people, sometimes, and he liked meeting young men. Sirius knew part of the reason why his mother was hosting this party, so he could find a nice wealthy respectable lady, get hitched, get her prego and create another bundle of tiny blacks.

Not like that would ever happen if men kept looking the way they did, and that didn't appear to be stopping anytime soon so he got ready for the ball.

An hour of prep later, freshly showered and clothed in a black suit with red and gold accents, standing in front of the mirror Sirius was wondering if he should even go to this party in his honor. He could just bail, it's not like he didn't already know all of the men going and that they were all pretty damn straight. and boring, can't forget boring. He could just grab James and Peter, get some firewhiskey and waste the night away, yeah that sounded nice.

Speaking of James and Peter, he was beginning to get worried. Peter had been pretty flighty as of late saying shit like he was seeing his "werewolf friend named Remus that was being abused" honestly, Peter should have outgrown imaginary friends, but that seemed rude to say so Sirius went along with it. He was beginning to grow rather concerned as Peter's description of his, Remus's, abuse was growing rather vivid, and very violent. James on the other hand, well they were attached at the hip. while the blacks and potters didn't necessarily historically get along very well, that had never stopped James and Sirius. maybe he was out prancing in his animagus form? He had been doing that a lot too lately as well. Or maybe he was trying to woo lily, who knew?

finally, James showed up, a half hour before the party started covered in leaves and looking magically exhausted muttering something about "a moon, a giant moon, damn im so fucking good" and laughing to himself.

"Oi James, fucking finally? Where have you been? does this mean we're skipping" James swayed a little in place and Sirius immediately fetched him some water. At the word skipping James straightened up, trying to keep a calm face.

"No no no, it's your 19th birthday. I think you should go, I have a feeling this one'll be special."

that was odd. James and Sirius both knew that his birthday often turned into a shit show as they both grew bored with the company and the whole thing in general and decided to plan a monstrous prank. not something "special." giving up trying to understand the inner workings of James's mind Sirius sighed and said simply

"i have a green suit that will go nicely with your eyes in my closet, get the leaves out of your hair, try to make yourself presentable and I'll go get it" James grinned that classic James grin and saluted

did not mean to hit send yet whoops

"yessir" and began fussing with his hair trying to get leaves and sticks out. Sirius rummaged around in his closet, still worrying about Peter. when he voiced this to James, James merely grinned wider and said "I think he's hanging out with his werewolf friend"

"On my birthday?" Sirius whined James laughed and said simply

"as much as it tries to, the world does not revolve around you."

Sirius sighed dramatically once more, looked at the time, and got ready to go greet his arriving guests

-------------

Remus's family was wealthy, he knew that much, but what he did not know was that his wealth was inconsequential in comparison to the blacks.

a mass of black brick, gargoyles and buttresses that was the black mansion spread across the horizon as the steady line of extravagant carriages grew nearer.

Remus swallowed his nerves and adjusted his hair and after what seemed like ages they arrived. Remus tentatively walked the steps, not trying to feel self conscious as he was walking alone, while everyone else was in groups of around 3 or more.

"name sir?" Oh shit, Remus forgot about this part, the overly dramatic "hey let's announce your whole presence so your abusive family knows you disobeyed them and shit" part. panicking, Remus said baldar io. baldar after one of the arabic words for moon and io after jupiter's moon. shit. he just named himself moon moon.

"SIR BALDAR IO" the man cried out, and more than a few heads turned, at this unfamiliar name.

Remus shrunk under the attention and decided he would make his way over to the buffet as gracefully as possible when the large double doors at the end of the room flung open. Out walked a woman and three men, all with jet black hair. Remus would have assumed that they were all related if it weren't for the jet green eyes of one of them, while the others had a stark grey.

Remus couldn't help it, he was a little amused, and a little disappointed. The infamous blacks were rather ordinary looking, the younger one, that Remus assumed must be Sirius, had short black hair and a hollow gaze. and Then all of them shifted, and Remus's eyes widened as a hush filled the room.

"the young Sirius black!" the woman, his mother, announced. Sirius black was more than Remus could have ever imagined beauty to look like.

his hair was long and black, obviously, but it curled at odd romantic angles, his jawline looked like it was sharp enough to kill, but would settle for helping give gentle kisses instead, his eyes lacked the piercing violent ferocity that the other 3 blacks had, but looked as though it's own ferocity was nothing to be mocked.

Remus openly gaped, and even heard a couple of chuckles around him as people noticed.

the man, Sirius black looked bored yet intrigued by the whole thing, like he was waiting for something special to happen but was disappointed it hadn't happened yet.

Remus had to leave he had to get out, shit how could he even be in the same room as this man without combusting he would never know as he turned to leave, Remus realised he was gathered in the middle of the dance floor with everyone else and the music began to swell.

shit shit shit shit shit.

"I can't help to notice you're looking a little lost." without turning around Remus chuckled

"you would have noticed correctly then"

"So what brings you to the dance floor if not to dance?"

"I was-" Remus turned around and silently gasped, Sirius black was standing in front of him, smirking.

"well then, shall we show them all up and dance absolutely divinely, badar io?"

"I-I'm afraid I wouldn't be doing much showing up as I have no clue what this is,"

"Well you see, this is called a waltz, Shostakovich Waltz No 2 to be precise." Remus rolled his eyes at sirus's teasing.

"Believe it or not I can recognize shostakovich when I hear it, I mean, I do not know how to dance to it. this one looks very specific." Sirius's face broke out into a full fledged grin as he said

"No better time to learn than the present, and I happen to be an excellent partner."

"And a modest one too" Remus said dryly as he awkwardly shuffled, not knowing what to do with his limbs

Sirius noticed and took pity on Remus as he gently grabbed Remus's wrists, and guided the left hand to his shoulder, the right enclosed in his own and then sirus's hand was on his waist, unconsciously circling the fabric there with his thumb. Remus's breath hitched. He was in for a long night.

--------

this one, this one was funny, he was interesting, bloody gorgeous, and best of all, as gay as Sirius was. He had recalled hearing the unfamiliar name "badar io" and was immediately intrigued, but also confused when James laughed like this was the funniest thing since his first prank.

James, taking mercy on Sirius's confused and desperate expression, happened to point out the young rugged looking man that was confused on the dance floor.

And so Sirius had walked up to him, smirking, laying on the Sirius style charm, and then he didn't know how to dance which Sirius really shouldn't have found as endearing as he did, and then, one itsy bitsy final test, Sirius put his hand on badars waist, circling it, very consciously mind you, with his thumb and did a victory dance in his head as badar's breathe hitched.

he was at least a little gay alright.

So the night went and Sirius had only eyes for badar, and it seemed badar only had eyes for him, but more so than in the "hey it's Sirius black, how cool is that" way. like Sirius was his own person, interesting and attractive, and Sirius could've drowned in that look the entire night.

Instead he settled for flirting and far too personal questions. He had never really had the time or patience for small talk and this man was obviously his soulmate.

Sirius had had no belief in soulmates whatsoever until he laid eyes on badar. and his beliefs were only confirmed as he had begun to relax, get into the flow of the music, crack wry and witty jokes, and eventually flirt back.

Sirius had held no belief in true love either, or love at first sight, but as he was quickly learning, he needed to open his mind more.

"favorite color" Sirius asked, dead serious. ha, serious he thought, the pun never failing to amuse him. badar laughed, a sound Sirius thought might possibly be his favorite in the whole wide world.

"You go from, biggest fear, greatest insecurities, what are some of the morals you live by, do you believe in second chances to what's your favorite color?" badar laughed again. "you seem to enjoy doing things backwards. it's silver. What about you?" Sirius stared intently into badars eyes and his answer had changed from the usual red or maroon to a brilliant gold, just like badars own irises

"gold"

"ah yes like your suit which is not at all gaudy in any way shape or form"

"Oi ill have you know this suit is top of the line thankyouverymuch."

"I'll have you know that top of the line can be gaudy, thankyouverymuch"

Sirius laughed for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"do you want to get out of here," he asked?

badar coughed

"ar-are you propositioning me????"

"what- OH- oh no no no, shit, no,Ithought we could go into the garden, give you a break, check out the lights and talk some more maybe?"

"oh, ok, that sounds lovely. but ill have you know I'm not accepting because im tired, im accepting because you look tired and Iobviously have far to much stamina for you"

Sirius laughed again, but truth be told, he wanted to see how much stamina badar really had, he wanted to-

coughing and adjusting himself, he led badar out to the back gardens.

--------------

The blacks had certainly not spared any expense when it came to floriculture, the garden was decked out in strongylodon macrobotrys, chocolate cosmos, dendrophylax lindenii, shenzen nongke orchids and-

Remus laughed, moonflowers, but only magical ones. only ones that bloomed on full moons,

It was odd, hearing Sirius laugh and pay attention to him like he was the most interesting person in the world.

It was odd, hearing himself be referred to as badar.

it was odd, he rather liked badar, it was like an alter ego, a persona, except it felt real. With a start, Remus realized that was because he was simply being his genuine self.

it was odd, seeing the usually confident Sirius black shyly not make eye contact as his soft hands intertwined with Remus's.

It was odd, feeling his own arm move over to run his fingers through Sirius's soft hair.

it was odd, being close enough to count his eyelashes, to feel his breath on his lips, to see every detail of his eyes-

it was odd feeling soft lips pressed against his own for the very first time

it was odd as he relaxed into Sirius's arms, as his eyes fluttered shut, as the tingling drifted from his stomach all the way to his finger tips.

It was odd trusting a person so completely and fully as he did Sirius, and have them not even know his real name.

His moment of bliss was interrupted as he heard an ominous dong of the giant clock in the garden.

Shit shit shit fuck shit fuck dammit fuck

Remus didn't know how he would handle going back, knowing the tenderness he was missing, the soft hands against his own, something kind and loving that was in the world, but he knew he must.

He pulled away frantic and said

"thank you, thank you so, so much- b- but-I really have to go." Sirius looked crestfallen at this but reached out and grabbed Remus's arm before he could fully flee.

"will I see you again" that set off the waterworks for Remus

"No, I don't think you will." The clock rang out again. and pulled Sirius in for one final chaste kiss. and then without knowing what he was doing he cried out "Remus Lupin!"

And he left, stumbling down the stairs of the garden that led into the forest, the one that connected with his own, leaving a moonstone shoe behind.

--------

when Remus woke up approximately an hour later (the moons were shorter when he was happy) He could remember feeling his paws pound against the forest floor. He could remember smelling home, he could remember only barely ripping out his own skin. Then he woke up, in a different kind of agony, like grieving a loss. Then he remembered the list of chores that had been left for him, that had barely seemed possible when he had an extra 3-5 hours to complete them. groaning he got to work.

Peter showed up, and was only mad at Remus for a little bit before he began trying to clean in his own little way.

finally after centuries, though it had only been two hours, Remus finished and, he tucked away his other moonstone shoe, (that for some reason had not transfigured back) and he fell into his bed and right before he fell asleep he could hear a door downstairs open, and the voices of his family walking in.

----------

Sirius was absolutely miserable it was three in the morning and he had gotten incredibly drunk with James and Peter immediately after badar had left. he didn't know why badar had left, why he cried out Remus Lupin, why he had kissed him so sweetly just to say he'd never see him again.

Sirius threw a pillow against the wall, feeling the impact of the sobering potion he had taken, and rubbed the moonstone shoe, the only thing that was reminding him that badar wasn't in fact a hallucination or a dream.

"James, he was just so perfect-Ijust-IthinkIlove him James,I Love him James and i'll never see him again, did you know there was never a badar io in our little town? He gave a fake name James!"

"what about the other name he gave, have you looked into it."

"What do you mean, other name- OH MERLIN ITS A NAME" A glimmer of hope shone in Sirius's eyes as he ran to the library where he knew there was a magic record of all legal documentation of families in their town. Was it illegal? yeah, but Sirius couldn't think about the morality of that right now, he was in love.

"Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin, Lupin Remus, Lupin Remus, Lupin Lupin Lupin ahA!" he cried out after flipping through pages, finally finding the Lupin line. "Remus, Remus, Remus" wait, that wasn't right, that couldn't be-

Remus Lupin, declared dead at age six, cause unknown signed- signed the entire Lupin family, what was going on, he looked down and saw a little photo and a sharp intake of breath could be heard behind him and honestly he did the same.

"James it-it says he's dead- but- but he felt- felt so- so- so- real" tears began to well in Sirius's eyes "How can he be dead?" but James wasn't paying attention, he was staring at the paper muttering

"they're worse than I thought I can't believe they would do that,I Can't believe-"

"James what's going on?" Sirius asked, his voice small.

"I guess you deserve to know,-"

James continued " what happens on a full moon?"

"What do you mean what happens on a full moon, James the hell?"

"What happens on a full moon at midnight" something clicked in Sirius's mind though he wasn't quite sure what yet.

"Werewolves but James what-"

"What would a wealthy, respectable family do if they had a son bitten by a werewolf at age six but couldn't kill him?"

"I Mean maybe fake his death and keep him hidden but don't see-HOLY SHIT" James nodded gravely.

"Those bastards, how could they do that to him!!!?!?"

"Before you decide to go charging in, you need to think, you're still the heir to the black family, think of something crazy, ridiculous and plausible that could get you safely into the Lupin household."

"Jamesy my boy, do you even know who you're talking to?" Sirius said with a mischievous grin

------

Sirius woke to the sound of giggling and his sisters running downstairs.

It was 11 in the morning, they had let the monster sleep him, how nice. He must have done a good job last night at cleaning. Gingerly he climbed down the ladder and stopped one of his sisters, Drizella.

"Drizella, what's going on? Remus queried. Drizella sniffed

"If you must know, Sirius black has announced he's looking for his true love, and whoever fits the shoe that was left behind by her!"

"Who's ‘her’?"

"Apparently he danced with one maiden and one maiden alone the entire night and she had to leave at midnight but didn't give him a real name and as he ran off, she left behind a moonstone shoe!"

A maiden now, was he? Remus chuckled in his mind and headed back to his room.

As he sat down, he pulled out the moonstone shoe and held it softly against his chest as a reminder of-

Suddenly he heard an outraged squeak to his left and saw his father standing in the trapdoor of the attic, looking royally pissed off, and then he saw the door shut, heard the key lock, all before he could get there

And then he was pounding on the door, splinters in his fists scrapes on his palms and then he heard "he's coming by today, your prince charming, and he will marry one of my daughters and you'll never, ever see him again."

Remus cried out and buried his face in his hands unsure of what to do.

This time hours went by, and Remus was sure they were hours because he counted every last second. Then he heard a scritching noise under his bed so he looked and out shot Peter, looking concerned as he could be

what'd you do this time to be trapped in here Peter squeaked, horrified.

"I wooed the ever charming Sirius black and that was a no no"

Peter sputtered nonstop, starting and restarting sentences, when at that moment something crashed into Remus's room from the window.

"What the-" Remus began but was cut off by the new black haired green eyed arrivals

"Ok so Sirius is down stairs getting ready to slip the shoe on your sisters, he would rather only try you but we didn't count on you being locked up here" wait, was that.... James?

a voice behind them piped up.

"We could try to explode the trapdoor!" Pete added- wait Peter? Remus whipped around and groaned Peter was not a rat, well not at the moment, but he was still Peter. Remus could smell him, could hear the intonations in his voice.

"Animaguses,I Should have bloody known"

James just grinned that classic James grin and continued. "you better hurry,Ithink you're father's gonna try to fight the magic that Sirius placed on the shoe."

"what magic, why would he need magic."

"well, he kind of said... thathewouldmarrywhoevertheshoefit, because they would obviously be the one he danced with all night, and then-" James trailed off, thinking of words.

"-he knew that people would "be dying to get their paws on him maritally," his quote, not mine and so he placed a spell that the shoe would only fit the person it last belonged to but there are ways to overcome a spell and you're fathers attempting them right now also a sacred oath may or may not be involved in the whole 'ill marry whoever the shoe fits' thing."

"if the shoe fits, wear it" Remus muttered under his breath and then louder continued "Okey dokey so we don't have time to unpack all that but first- why this whole finding the feet of my 'princess' thing? if he really wanted to see me couldn't he have just, i don't know, broken down doors to find me or something."

"Always the romantic, Remus" Peter rolled his eyes.

"well, see, he's the heir to the black title, and well as much as he would love to abandon it all, he thinks he has a chance to use all that wealth and influence for good." Remus vaguely remembered Sirius implying something of the sort last night so he nodded, and James continued "so he couldn't just waltz in peoples houses being like 'ayo, are yalls Remus Lupin, lets get funky if you are' and such so thus, the extravagant plan was hatched." Remus laughed, that was just so like Sirius to do that it was ridiculous.

then at that moment a scream could be heard downstairs. shit

The three of them paled and Sirius and Peter ran over to the trap door, having a heated conversation back and forth about "what could we do" "uh levicorpus" "thats an ankle levitation charm, idiot." "Well maybe it would have levitated the ankle of the trap door and we could have gotten out." Peter hissed back, but Remus was barely paying attention to them.

He was instead, looking out the broken window James had crashed in on. realizing what must be done, Remus stepped on the window sill, and jumped.

To be honest, Remus had never tried to jump from 3 stories before but he could do 2, so what was one entire story difference? A lot apparently as he landed on his ankle with a thud, there was only so much a non moon werewolf could do.

Not letting it deter him and ignoring the confused cries from James and Sirius, Remus ran around to the front door.

when he finally arrived he could hear muffled sobs from Anastasia and his father's cold, uncaring voice. Not wasting another second Remus flung open the door, rage in his face.

Remus gasped as he entered the room, seeing the pile of blood at Anastasia's feet, seeing Drizellas shocked expression that she was next, seeing his father's frigid and determined expression, and his mother's sickly face that looked like she was regretting many things. Lyall had cut off her toes to fit the shoe. The bastard.

tired, ageless rage filled Remus and he was about to make good use of his werewolf wandless magic but stopped when he saw Sirius's confused, terrified, and admittedly freaked out face about the whole toe thing turn into one of relief and unmitigated joy. That stopped Remus cold in his tracks.

No, he'd made it this far in life with being a werewolf without killing anyone,no, he'd made it this far in life without being a monster and he wasn't about to change that now. Remus waved his hand and Drizella gasped as Anastasia's toes stitched themselves to her foot. Then he pointed his index finger at lyall.

His father was flung against the wall, pinned by an invisible force. Remus stepped forward coldly. He thought of everything he felt for Peter, Sirius, and even James, the meddling bastard. He thought of how it felt to be in Sirius's arms, how it felt to have them taken away and any lingering doubts disappeared.

"I am more human than you will ever be" Remus hissed and with that he dropped him, leaving him gasping for air.

Sirius recognized his cue and got on one knee, presenting the no longer blood covered shoe, thanks to a quick cleaning charm.

"hey Remus, sorry about all this."

"it's dramatic and gaudy and undeniably you,I wouldn't have it any other way."

Sirius grinned at this, and said "you know,I don't think you should ever consider a future in fortune telling, you said I would never see you again, and look where we are."

Remus's voice cracked "you have no idea how glad I am I was wrong." he whispered.

Sirius gestured to the shoe and Remus's scratched up bare feet, "may i" he asked nervously.

Remus slipped his foot into the shoe cautiously and then there was bright blinding light emerging from the shoe and then all at once it stopped.

Remus was standing in the suit he had been wearing the night before and so was Sirius.

Unable to help it, he flung into Sirius's open arms, needing to reacquaint himself with the feeling.

tenderly, Sirius tipped Remus's chin up

"hi" was all Sirius said, but this time it was Remus who closed the gap.

"hello, my names Remus, soon to be black I think at this point" Sirius beamed at this and said

"Remus black, I think I rather like that, well at least a lot more than moon moon" he teased, Remus laughed

"I panicked ok?"

"and so your instinct was just 'moons'? I'll have to keep that in mind in case I ever spring anything on you. 'hey babe can you do the dishes' 'uh hi my names esmeray ophelia'"

"ah, resorted to the dishwasher,I take it my fortune telling career did not go so well."

"Nope, i'm afraid it didn't, but it's so nice that you have an incredibly wealthy boyfriend/fiance/husband thing, how nice is that."

"Yes I am eternally grateful for my sugar daddy, my glucose guardian, my carbohydrate caretaker, my sucrose sweetheart-" Sirius laughed, and put his hands up in defeat

"you win, you win"

and Remus thought of all that he had gained in a matter of a day, his humanity, the love of his life, friends that were actually human (that part was rather weird and he was still reeling) and an escape from his family.

"Yes I rather think I did" and closed the distance once more

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cruisercrusher · 5 years ago

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i totally wanna hear what you have to say abt rebels!! personally im a big fan and ive never seen anyone specifically not like the show so im interested in ur thoughts !!

Ok please keep in mind I do not at all pretend to be unbiased because clone wars is my most favourite thing ever so every Star Wars thing ever gets compared to clone wars it’s like my thing

The core of why I’m not fond of rebels is because to me none of it felt impactful. I’ve actually watched I think 3 out of the 4 seasons, because my d*d made us all watch it as a “family” and imma be real with you chief. Years down the line I struggled to remember the main characters names. Almost none of it actually stuck with me in any meaningful way, someone will mention something that happened in an episode I did watch and I’ll be like damn i have no recollection???? But also like having gone back and taken a second and third look at the show I’ve gotten the impression that even within the show nothing has that much impact, maybe the last season is different idk but it feels very one note to me and at times shallow in the story telling. Nothing sticks, because the characters retain a degree of staticity throughout what I’ve seen, and Disney very clearly had a set formula laid out for how the episodes/arcs would go that left little room for the ballsy storytelling and character development we got from clone wars.

It’s a little disappointing because I think there were things in rebels that had a lot of potential, rebels as a whole had a lot of potential but Disney really put a stranglehold on Dave Filoni and the rest of the creative teams creative ability.

That being said, I really don’t like the animation either. Like, really don’t like it. I feel like it lacks depth and texture, and I don’t like a lot of the character designs, and the backgrounds are a little flat, and the way the characters move is weird to me. They’re just a tad too fluid and a touch too expressive that for me it reads as very uncanny valley, it actually took me out of it sometimes.

(Also the human skin tones all looked kinda off to me I was like I don’t think that’s the right undertone babes that’s too much yellow. Too much yellow babe)

As well as the fact that the animation stayed pretty much exactly the same throughout the series, and had none of the actual real innovation and groundbreaking animation that the clone wars had.

Going back to the story telling, and again, this is Disney’s fault, there were a lot of missed opportunities for them to go really hard. There were a lot of lessons in clone wars (like always question authority, and Capitalism Bad, and War is Futile, and sometimes the people who are supposed to be the good guys aren’t necessarily very good) that Disney is just straight up afraid of. Like clone wars really had a lot of more left leaning themes that is simply too much for the conservative, one percenter, trump supporting Disney executives and shareholders.

An example of this I feel would be when they introduced the clones. If I could have I would have done that arc very differently. And don’t get me wrong, I loved seeing grandpa Rex! But the way those episodes were executed felt a little. Dissatisfying? Maybe not quite disrespectful, but then again imo the story of the clones is THE MOST tragic one in all of Star Wars and those episodes had an element of levity to them that I don’t think fit. That arc could have been really deep and somber (and they could have done at least a little to acknowledge the rampant ptsd the clones must have, especially Wolffe who shot down his general and father figure against his will) yet the script didn’t really do those characters justice at all.

Also, I would have written Sabine’s character very differently. For one, I would have made her at least twenty, because with everything I know about it her it’s baffling that she’s supposedly only like sixteen. Makes zero sense. I don’t get it. Also I would make her a butch lesbian. Like a total mean dyke. We need more of those and I think Sabine could have mean dyke potential.

Now. The inquisitors. Dear lord. Again, could have been really cool, but tHOSE SPINNY LIGHTSABERS DRIVE ME INSANE HOW DO YOU FLY WITH THOSE IT SHDHJSJFJD FORGET THATS NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS, THATS NOT HOW PHYSICS WORKS!!!!

Barbie life in the dream house had better animation because they were actually supposed to look plastic. Also, rebels yoda haunts my nightmares.

And I specifically don’t like Ahsoka’s character design either. I like her outfit but she looks less like Ahsoka to me and more like Ahsoka’s cousin. Her skull is a different shape. Why is it a different shape? Did she have jaw transplant surgery? Where is the consistency. We literally see an older version of Ahsoka during the mortis arc and she actually looks like herself (and looks really cool!) but Rebels Ahsoka looks nothing like that? I don’t understand. It makes my brain hurt to think about it

Alright, I’ve said a lot of negative things, so here’s a positive: I really appreciate Chopper. I just love chaotic astromech droids who feel nothing but unbridled bloodlust at all times. It is so funny. I appreciate him

And, bearing in mind I haven’t seen the whole episode (because I don’t want to) mostly just gift sets and clips, but the episode where Maul finally finds Obi-Wan on tatooine and they have their final duel?? Very cool concept, lots of potential, I just wish the lightsabers weren’t so SKINNY WHY ARE THEY SO SKINNYYYYYYY

I think that’s about everything? Barring the fact that for the longest damn time I thought none of the characters had fingernails because I mistook Ezra’s layered gloves for fingerless gloves and thought he didn’t have fingernails and that freaked me out? Yeah I think that’s about all my thoughts. I tried to have as little blantantly comparing to clone wars as I could because that’s not exactly fair, of course rebels was never going to be on the same level as clone wars. When it comes to well done cartoons I think it’s like. Way up at the top tier is Atla then clone wars in second place, and then literally everything else is wayyyy below it because that’s just how it is tbh. Anyways hope this satiated your curiosity!

#also i dont like jeb i think hes just annoying. like why is he here. literally what does he even DO what js his purpose other than to be #annoying. and ugly

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fuzzbuns · 5 years ago

Text

Im in a bad mood because american education system is hell so im gonna ramble about stuff no one cares about for that sweet serotonin aka atsutodo* tho really just Mr Atsushi... Sir Joned arbuck-

*?... like i mean its lowkey atsutodo i will not front but realistically speaking im just gonna talk about thier relationship and whether you see it as platonic or not it is up to you but like just know in my minds eye MY GOD these bitches GAY.... good for them tho... good for them

I just legit don’t understand people who either think/ characterize atsushi as someone who is mean or doesn’t like todomatsu. Like the only person who legitimately should ever feel that way is totty but we will get there. like, i get not everyone stans atsushi and has been following him ever since that one tweet after ep 22 where he is shown baking a totty themed meal (srsly look at this. the second i saw this tweet back in like 2016 i was like “oh i love this dude”)

LIKE.... LOOK AT THAT.......

Ok so back to the point : like i get most people do not care to keep up with the guy who had 19 seconds of screen time in ep 22 LIKE I GET THAT but literally the very second you look at his characterization in literally anything it is just so clear that he genuinely likes totty and seeks out his company!

And like i know some people saw how totty reacted to him in the movie and went “uh.” But you guys are literally forgetting that todomatsu is a matsuno.... plus totty literally tried to maul his own siblings? IDK to me it just kinda shows to todomatsu clearly feels close enough to atsushi in order to treat him like his siblings because totty is the kind of person who values what people think of him (including atsushi. In ep 7 season 2 he literally is apologizing to atsushi even when atsushi isnt even there which means he clearly cares about whether he is on good terms with him or not) so like....? If he really didnt like atsushi he just wouldnt hange out with him. He just got pissed off,,,, not very deep. Plus atsushi didnt even react.... which to me is just like.... he is close enough to totty to know he is dramatic and is use to having totty be a drunk menace to society. Also? People think he was being mean with the whole ‘neetville’ thing WHICH LIKE..... WHAT ABOUT IT.... like im not even convinced he meant it like that but even if he did, he is just teasing them....it really not that deep..... it is one negative interaction out of the many postitive ones they have had and its is mostly totty who is making a stink (which is a common theme.... BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN HE HATES ATSUSHI WE WILL GET THERE)

Back to atsushi, i feel like seeing him in highschool made me kinda get his character more (tho its just my interpretation so idk. I literally do not know how they characterize him in tabi or the spin off because i just havent seen translations for that stuff? Tho i know i heard that in one of the tabi events he was in people said he was nice to totty (aka he was a good guy... like we have known this.) but thats like.. it.) We barely see him talk! He is super quiet! Which is... going back to the last part.... kind makes the lines he has make sense? I feel like he isnt really the best at taking the lead in conversations and isnt really even that good of a conversationalist but he knows what people what to hear so he just says that and it usually works out fine? Like he can fake it well, like when i write a paper and think “idk what im talking about” and then i get it back and the prof is like “wow..... this was.... breathtaking...” like thanks my head is empty! idk if that makes sense but he just seems like the kind of person who was forced to get good at conversing when he finished highschool in order to network and shit but like deep down he would rather not. Like he is friendly! He has friends and he likes being with them but i feel like if it was up to him he would be a bit more reserved. And the fact he likes totty kinda speaks to this?

Before we get to that i should probably prove he likes totty but i feel like it is so obvious i shouldnt have to..... he set totty up with the girls in ep 7, he apparently goes to the gym with totty every now and then and like. Looks forward to it. The hesowars sprite where he is waving totty as if totty was some kind of celebrity (in front of the girls who clearly dont want to see him. Like atsushi is so oblivious to the fact the atmosphere is awkward because he is too busy being.... gay??? Sorry homies i decided it is gay.) also the offical art of totty and atsushi on a totally-not-a-date.... even if you take the subjective gay subtext i put on there off its still obvious atsushi and totty hang out and atsushi puts effort in in order to do so. I feel like the fact he is still in touch with totty after highschool speaks to just how much effort atsushi put in to keep him around because lets be 100%. Todomatsu seems like a NIGHTMARE to actually have a stable friendship that lasts more than a year with. This is the guy who literally does not get the concept of friendship... and yet here atsushi is.....very much being his friend

I feel like unless you are someone who is very good at reading inbetween the lines/a good listener, it would be impossible to be todomatsus friend just because of the front he puts up. I honestly think since they are highschool friends, totty doesnt put up as much of a front with atsushi cuz like... he saw totty at his most baby..... like you cant come back from that. But totty puts up fronts even with his own siblings so he definitely still has to put up some kind of front with atsushi. So i think atsushi being this quiet kid in highschool gave him the skills to deal with totty. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS MEAN I PROMISE I LOVE TOTTY IM JUST BEING REALISTIC. when you arent doing the talking and you are just listening and taking in what people are saying you start to pick up on a lot of little things. And because atsushi knows what totty was like in highschool i feel like he genuinely understands todomatsu as a person. Like totty can act self assured and dismissive but we (and atsushi) know that deep down he really craves affection and validation. Which is why atsushi sticks around with him and even goes as far as setting him up on dates. Atsushi is a quiet dork at heart. I will not budge on this.

So like where does the asshole rich man idea of atsushi even come from?? Because atsushi isnt really like that (tho i will admit it is very funny... rich asshole atsushi is very funny i can not lie)? The line about him having a car never came off as snobbish to me tbh it just seems awkward (like you know... a quiet kid who is forced to converse). Remember how i said we would come back to that? We are finally doing it. Todomatsu matsuno has too many insecurities and he projects them on the people around him. Notice how we always see atsushi from todomatsu perspective! Totty see atsushi as the guy who always one ups me and takes girls from me.... the guy who said neetville,,,, the guy who likes to look down on commoners..... but .... totty isnt a reliable narrator. Todomatsu has a hard time seeing other people as being genuine because he himself cant be genuine. So when atsushi hangs around him, he assumes that he must be looking down on him, because why else would someone like atsushi wanna be around someone like totty :( (i suggest “because he is gay” but like-) i think totty genuinely likes atsushi but he is so self sabotaging that he cant accept the idea that anyone who knows who he is could ever want to connect with him so he tries to keep atsushi at a distance and lashes out whenever atsushi unknowingly proves his warped perspection of him (an asshole rich guy) right because the idea of someone using ur misery as entertainment is upsetting to say the least.

Its 2020 and i cant believe i just rambled about atsutodo but i was thinking about atsushi recently plus...... i dont keep up with the oso fandom but i saw shit about people who thought atsutodo was.... bad??? And like I genuinely just cant see how you could get to that conclusion? It doesnt have to be ur thing but to reach and say its somehow “Problematic” ??????? The only messy thing about it is just totty being a matsuno like..... atsushi is genuinely such a chill guy i just... its not clicking for me.

Anyway atsushi is a dork man. Quiet highschool kid rep. Coconut head king. jon arbuckle. And if he wants to hold hands with todomatsu matsuno?? Who am i to stop him.... insert image of fma love is love thumbs up

In fact after all the effort he has put in? He deserves to hold his hand..... AND TOTTYS HAND DESERVES TO BE HELD/??/

Ok i have work to do bye

#fuzzy rambles #im suppose to be writing an paper on stress #but i got so stressed thinking about it i decided to talk about atsutodo like a loser #also forgot to eat dinner so im gonna do that

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littlemissvincentvega · 6 years ago

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First of all, I always love catching up on your fics cause they're amazing. Second, do you think you could do a bit of a fic with the dogs and reader going on a camping trip? I feel like these idiots would fucking nearly die out in the wilderness alone 🙃🙃🙃🤣

first of all i adore u thank u odojdosdlaskj ♥♥

and yes i can!!! thats amazing LOL also i’m so so sorry this took so long!! i hope u like it bb :DDDD lots of love xxx

“Where’s the cigs? Where are my fuckin’ cigs?!” spits Mr. Pink, twisting and turning in the backseat, fumbling around trying to find the pack.

“Would you sit still?” sighs White from the driver’s seat, glancing at him through the lopsided rear view mirror. “Thought you quit, anyways?”

“I did.” He glares at Brown, who is squinting at his Gameboy. “Are you quite finished?”

…

Nothing. “Hello? Am I fuckin’ invisible?”

“Huh?” Brown mumbles, eyes fixated on the screen.

Slightly disgruntled, Mr. White turns to Pink, hands clamped on the wheel. “Can you just leave him to play on his video game and stop bein’ a little shit about it? Please?”

“A half hour. A half hour of that shitty Tetris playin’ over and over, so ex-fuckin-scuse me if it starts to grate!” Pink scowls, crossing his arms and rolling the window down. Sighing dramatically, he stares out of it, not a word more.

“I beat my high score!” exclaims Brown, a few minutes later.

Orange turns around to him, his head between the two front seats. “Nice one, man. Gimme a turn now?”

“Sure,” he says, passing it over. Pink watches this from the corner of his eye, secretly wanting a turn, but he isn’t prepared to swallow his pride– not now, not ever.

“Hey, White, how long till we get there?” Brown asks.

“Uh… ‘bout an hour or so? Ain’t so sure, how long we been on the road?”

Brown checks his watch. “Forty-six minutes exactly.”

“Yeah, ‘bout an hour then, if the traffic treats us well.”

“How d’ya think Pink’s copin’ with Brown, then?” Blonde asks, a smirk present on his lips. He’s driving the other car accompanied by Mr. Blue and Nice Guy Eddie, and it’s a million times less drama-filled than White’s.

Eddie scoffs. “Fuck knows. Probably strangled him by now,” he says, and the three guys share a chuckle.

“You should give ‘em a call, I could use some entertainment.”

Eddie grins mischievously and pulls out his clunky-ass cellphone, dialling Mr. Pink’s number. “Hello??”

“Pink, it’s Ed. How’s it with you guys?” he asks, sharing a smirk with Blonde.

“It’s fuckin’ impeccable.”

“Less of the attitude, motherfucker.”

“Ask him how Mr. Brown is,” whispers Blonde, nudging Eddie.

“How’s Brown?” Ed sniggers.

“Don’t talk to me about that– that little retard!” Pink splutters, eyeballing Brown.

Eddie tuts loudly. “What did I say about the attitude? How far away are you guys, anyway?”

“I dunno, like an hour, White said earlier?”

“A’ight. Sive drafely, man.”

“What?”

Eddie sighs, smiling at Blonde. “Just don’t fuckin’ crash the car, okay? I’ll see you guys later.”

“Yeah. See ya.”

At least an hour and a half later, White pulls over, the wheels crumbling over the gravel. Mr. Orange flings the door open and jumps out, looking up at the trees towering over them. Rather than staying at a family-friendly campsite type of place, Eddie had opted for a slightly dangerous forest that a friend of Joe’s had recommended. There’s no sound of human civilisation to be heard, only the rustling of leaves and sweet birdsong, though White suspects that it wouldn’t be quite so uneventful when dusk arrives. “It’s so warm,” says Orange, taking off his leather jacket and chucking it on the passenger seat.

“It’s too warm,” Pink groans. “Christ, even my asscrack is sweaty.”

“Do you have to?” asks White, screwing his nose up in disgust. “We’re surrounded by all this beautiful nature and you’re talkin’ about your asscrack?” He places his hands on his hips waiting for Pink’s response.

“What do you expect me to do? Not tell you?”

White chuckles, defeated, and opens the trunk. “Jesus Christ. C’mon, help me get the tent out.” Despite Mr. Pink’s concerted effort in trying to convince Eddie to let him have his own tent (”I need fuckin’ privacy, come on!”), he had been unsuccessful. “I’ll share with Mr. Blonde, you share with Mr. Blue and Mr. Brown, White can share with Orange,” he had decided.

“Can’t he help instead? It’s boiling,” complains Pink, nodding at Brown– he’s slumped in the backseat with his head leaning against the car door and his mouth wide open, fast asleep.

“Nah, he’s sleepin’, leave him to it for a bit. I’m not havin’ you two bickering while we set up the tent.”

Pink huffs, scowling at White when he has his back turned, but helps heave the tent out of the trunk while Orange gets everyone’s belongings out of the car. White looks up at him with a smile. “Thanks, kid, just leave ‘em there.”

“Sure.” Just as he says this, the other car pulls up a little too close to Pink, who screeches when he almost gets run over. “What the fuck was that, man?!” he splutters, waving his arms about at Mr. Blonde.

“Oh, sorry, didn’t see ya there,” Blonde sniggers, stepping out of the car, the gravel crunching beneath his cowboy boots. Pink throws a dirty look and continues to help lay out the tent. “Where’s Brown?”

“Asleep,” Orange mutters.

“What’s up, fuckers?” bellows Eddie, striding out of the car and stretching. “Woah, fuckin’ beautiful here, huh?” he adds, admiring the scenery.

Blue emerges from the backseat, his hair a little fluffed up– presumably, he had been asleep for some of the journey. “Not bad here,” he remarks, whipping out his cigar and lighting it, his moustache furrowing.

It’s almost as if Mr. Brown has spidey-senses or something– at that moment, he had stirred, taking a minute to fully wake up. “Oh, hey guys!” he beams, knocking on the car window and waving at the other Dogs.

“Christ, here we go…” Pink mutters under his breath.

Yawning, Brown jumps out of the car. “How can I help? I wanna help!”

“By gettin’ back in the car?”

“Huh?” asks Brown, not catching what Pink says and marching over to White & Orange. After a LOT of bickering and arguing about how to put up the tents, the boys finally stand back and admire their handiwork. By now, the sky has turned a beautiful honey shade, the warm colours melting into one another.

“Where’s the damn food?” Eddie asks. All of the guys are sitting around a campfire that Blonde had managed to light (after a good round of arguing, obviously).

Blonde shrugs. “Thought Brown was s’posed to bring it?”

“Was I?”

If looks could kill, Brown would have been laying dead right then and there. Pink glares at him, not even blinking. “Yes,” he says through gritted teeth, “you were.”

Brown laughs nervously, six pairs of eyes on him. “No I wasn’t– you guys put me in charge of snacks.”

“Kid, we put you in charge of food. Y’know, as in the shit we’d hafta cook up & eat?” answers White, keeping his cool. “But what snacks did you bring?”

Brown jumps up and fetches his bag of food while the guys share pitiful glances with one another. “Uhh… Oreos, potato chips, some Wonka candy, Dunkaroos, cheese balls and… Hubba Bubba.”

“Hubba Bubba? You brought gum? That ain’t a fuckin’ snack,” Eddie scoffs, chuckling.

“I know, but it tastes good.”

“So what you’re sayin’ is you brought fuckin’ kiddie food,” Pink scowls. Although pissed off (it doesn’t take much let’s be honest), he snatches the cheese balls off of Brown and crams a few in his mouth.

Orange shrugs, leaning over and taking the Wonka candy. “I don’t care, this shit’s pretty good. S’better than nothin’.”

“Yeah. Pass me some balls, Mr. Pussy,” Eddie smirks.

To make things easier, Brown lays down a scarf of his (he had packed three, just in case) and carefully places all of the snacks on it. It’s a strange concoction, admittedly, but like Orange had said, better than nothing.

As dusk approaches, the sky is a deep purple and the wind rustles through the trees. It’s slightly eerie, but the atmosphere is light, so none of them really mind. They’re all still around the fire, now lying on blankets Brown had packed, sharing stories and having the occasional bicker. “Do you guys believe in werewolves?”

“What?”

The guys blink at Brown, who’s gazing up at the moon. He’s laying wrapped in his blankets with his hands behind his head. “I was just thinkin’ about An American Werewolf In L–”

“No, hold up. What the fuck does that have to do with our damn conversation?” Blonde demands, chuckling. He takes a drag of his cigarette and exchanges a smirk with Eddie.

“It doesn’t.”

“Christ, that’s my cue to leave. I’m tired,” Blue sighs, smiling to himself. “You guys are too much.”

“If you’re sure. Night, man,” Ed smiles. The other guys say goodnight and watch Mr. Blue disappear into the biggest tent (which, to be honest, isn’t so big). Blonde flicks the ash from his cig into the fire, his baby blue eyes lit up from the gentle flames.

Fidgeting slightly, Brown flops onto his back, putting his hands behind his head. “Camping is boring.”

“No, it’s fuckin’ dangerous is what it is,” Pink huffs.

White looks at him, nudging Orange with a smug smile. “Alright Mr. Expert, why’s it so dangerous?”

Pink sits upright and glares at him. “Well… well– what if a fuckin’ bear mauls us?”

“Be a fuckin’ miracle if he mauls you, that’s just about the only thing that’d shut your goddamn mouth.”

“Fuck you, man! I gotta take a squirt, where’s the bathroom?”

Pink looks across at Eddie, who shrugs. “How the fuck should I know?”

“Well where am I supposed to piss?”

“Blonde’s hair. Could use a wash.”

Vic drops his cigarette at the sound of this. A perfect opportunity to play-fight. “You’re a little bitch, anyone ever told you that?” he chuckles, pouncing on his chubby friend and tackling him to the ground, soiling that violently blurple windbreaker jacket of his. “I’ll piss in your fuckin’ mouth, ya little bastard!”

Eddie breaks into laughter, struggling to get Vic in a headlock as they tumble around. Meanwhile, the other guys are sat blinking at one another– it’s safe to say that random outbreaks of play-fighting between those two are a regular occurrence. “Brown, you come with me, I can’t deal with all this gayness. You need a piss too?” Pink sighs, grabbing a flashlight from his bag.

“Yeah, I guess we can do it on a tree.”

With that, the two saunter off to go find a spot away from the other guys, leaving Orange and White to deal with Ed & Vic. “You two fuckasses finished yet?” White pipes up, running a hand through his hair and earning a snicker from Orange.

Panting, Eddie breaks away from Vic, shoving him back down and taking a seat himself. He wipes his sweaty forehead with his sleeve, his cheeks rosy. “Think so. Think I won there, don’cha agree, Blondie?”

“I think I fuckin’ won, Edward.”

“Agree to disagree?”

“Bunch a queers, you guys,” Orange sniggers, nudging White.

“Oh yeah? What are you two then? You’re practically White’s twink!” Eddie retorts. He throws a couple of cheeseballs at them both as they all share a chuckle, the fire still crackling and throwing white-hot lashes at their skin. Sighing in contentment, he lays down (not bothered in the least about the dirty ground), gazing up at the sky– upon seeing this, the other Dogs do the same, admiring the masses of tiny stars.

“HEEEELP!!”

…

“HELLO? AM I FUCKIN’ INVISIBLE? HEEEEELP!!”

Pink looks around in a panic, his head whipping from one direction to another. How the hell did they even manage to do this? ‘I swear,’ he thinks, ‘if I die here tonight I’ll make it fuckin’ known it was Brown’s fault.’

“Uh, Pink?”

“What?”

“Uh, technically if you were invisible they could still hear you, like, it’s in the name, man. Invisible? Like vision? So they’d still be able–”

Pink cuts brown off with one of his deadly glares. He’s impatient at the best of times, but they’d managed to get lost in the middle of a pitch-black forest at night-time with no cellphone, no way of contacting the others and, worse of all, stuck with Mr. Brown. Trying to keep calm, he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. “Just help me yell for them, alright?”

“They should be able to hear, I mean, it’s not like we’re that far away.”

He scoffs, marching in what they assume is the direction they came in. “We wouldn’t have to yell if you’d have just listened to me.”

“Fuck you, man, I didn’t do anything!”

“‘Ooh, let’s take this fuckin’ turn,’” Pink mocks in a higher-pitched voice, waving his hands around, “‘Yeah, that’s really fuckin’ safe, why don’t we just get our dicks out and stick a sign there sayin’ ‘FREE FOOD’ for the bears to see?’”

Frowning to himself, Brown quietens down, trailing behind him like an ashamed puppy. He kicks a few twigs as he saunters behind Pink, wishing they could just get back already. After a couple of silent minutes (aside from the sound of wet leaves beneath their feet, the swishing of leaves in the night’s winds and the very distant smell of the smoke from their campfire), he speaks. “What if somethin’ bad happened to ‘em?”

“Shut up, nothin’ bad’ll’ve happened. Even if it has, they’ve got their guns. So shut up, they’re fine.” Although it’s in a snappy manner, it’s Pink’s best effort at showing a smidge of reassurance.

“If you say so, man. Sorry if I, uh, y’know, pissed you off back there.”

“Whatever, it’s nothin’. Just help me yell for ‘em, knowing those queer bastards they’re probably in the tents fuckin’ each other or some shit,” Pink scoffs, a slight smirk present on his face. It’s barely visible, but it’s there. A little more at ease, Brown manages a nervous chuckle and precedes to help his colleague holler for the other boys.

“Hey, what the fuck is this?! An orgy? We were fuckin’ stranded out there, didn’t you hear us yelling?”

Pink emerges from a few trees and stomps over to the campfire, a subtle shiver about him. Whether it’s from the temperature or the situation, the others can tell he’s shaken up. After a few seconds, Brown follows, looking equally as uneasy. “We yelled and yelled and none of you motherfuckers responded!” spits Pink, glaring at them all lying on their backs.

“Why are you guys lying like that?” Brown asks.

“Didn’t hear ya,” says Blonde. “Well, we did, but we thought it wasn’t important. You only went for a piss. A piss is a piss.”

White rests his head on his elbow, looking up at the two. “Did you get mauled by a bear?”

Pink scowls. “No.”

“So what’s the fuckin’ problem?”

“Fuck you guys, I’m goin’ to bed. Rather listen to Blue have a fuckin’ wet dream than be around you pieces’a shit. G’night,” he huffs, disappearing into the tent without another word.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed too, I’m tired,” Brown sighs. “And it was pretty scary out there. But it’s been a good night, thanks you guys.”

White smiles at him. “Thanks, kid. Have a good sleep.”

“Night, man,” adds Orange.

After exchanging a lot of goodnights with the other dogs, Brown crawls into the tent and, soon enough, the guys can hear him sleeping soundly– and by that I mean quietly snoring. “Don’t hafta see him to know his mouth’s wide fuckin’ open,” Orange jokes, looking across at the tent. He yawns, stretching out on his blanket. “I could sleep right here.”

“Yeah, me too, man,” Ed agrees.

“You guys are fuckin’ gay,” smirks Blonde, earning a slap on his cheek from Eddie.

“Says the guy who tried to fuck me in Daddy’s office.”

“You little bastard–” Vic begins, a smile full of mischief appearing on his face. Two seconds later and they’re tumbling on the ground in a tangle of arms & legs while Mr. White & Orange sit watching, chowing down on some potato chips.

Orange leans in to speak to White, “I wish I’d have brought my camera, Joe’s reaction to this would’a been priceless.”

“Ah, that’s where you’re in luck, my friend,” White smirks, reaching over for his bag, “because I just so happened to bring my little Polaroid. Thought I’d never use it but I grabbed it on the way out just in case.” He hands it to Orange, who promptly squints into the viewfinder and snaps a picture. The second the flash goes off, both Ed and Vic’s heads snap round to look at the two laughing guys, utterly confused.

“What the fuck are you two doin’? Did you just take a fuckin’ picture of us?” Eddie asks, eyes wide and curious.

“Might have done.”

“Give it here, I wanna see if I look like a fatass.” Eddie scrambles for the camera, but Orange holds it out of his reach. Besides, White has the polaroid in his pocket. “Give it, motherfucker!”

Mr. Blonde is lying on his back now, hands behind his head and watching them squabble. “Forget it, Ed,” he says suavely, “you’ll look like a fatass either way.”

“Queer.”

“Asshole.”

The four share a chuckle, obviously not meaning anything by the bickering. With a yawn, Orange grabs a blanket and begins to stand up. “I’m fuckin’ exhausted, I’m going to bed. See you assholes tomorrow,” he snickers.

“I’ll join you,” White replies. “G’night, you two.” His laughter lines showing a little more after the night’s dumb escapades. He and Orange disappear into their tent as Vic & Eddie insult them goodnight. It’s quiet after that, the two remaining guys lying looking up at the stars, utterly mesmerised. The campfire crackles scarcely and, after hoisting blankets over themselves, the boys accidentally fall asleep in the midst of the night.

OK RIGHT i’ve just finished writing this post but i think i’mma do it as a 2 part thing bc i feel like this is pretty long for one of my fics. like the next morning/travelling home etc will be in part 2 :) \DKLASJLKDA I WANNA GO CAMPING W THESE PRICKS NOW LOL

#reservoir dogs fanfic

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goddamnmuses-a · 5 years ago

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Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope

Alright so I did this for Episode I which you can find here and then Episode II which you can find here and then Episode III which you can find here. So here’s my weird live reaction/note taking/whatever this is.. to Episode lV.

I remember this being my favourite of the original trilogy because it sets everything up and basically kick started everything but lets see if that changes when i’ve finally got through all of these.

Also I’m just watching whatever version i can find online because I can’t be bothered to go and find my dvd of it so yeah.. whether we get weird updated version or original effects or whatever, who knows.

All the old effects like how C3p0 looks and r2d2 are impressive.

There wasn’t really anything in the opening crawl i felt like commenting on, no big THEY DID THAT IN THE OPENING? but i guess it’s the first one that came out so that makes sense.

WTF did the stormtroopers use to get that door open, that was so explosive wtf.

Also the blasters are like set to 10000 and smoke is everywhere.

How did nobody shoot the dorids?

Yooo little Ani nice suit my dude.

Hold on, she sent a msg with r2 to go to Obiwan which for 1 howd she know he’s alive? I’m gonna presume her dad said or something and 2.. ..why not just.. go yourself?

So when they’re set to stun a Stormtrooper can shoot someone no problem

Also we dont get enough stun weird circle blaster shots

Ohhhh she didnt go because the scan for lifeforms thing alright ill allow it

but my dude.. even so.. maybe just shoot it just in case? like.. droids exist and people know about them?

DARTH VADERS LITTLE HANDS ON HIPS! Omfg he’s like “God damn, this bitch again.”

This Vader is a sassy boy.

I love this guy who works with Vader and doesnt mind chatting back to him.

Loving the droids in the desert.

R2 does not look like it would work in a desert.

C3 like “He tricked me into going this way” stop being a lil bich.

WOOTINI!

The crawler thingy is badass.

I thought that was a magnet it was just a big sucky pipe.

GONK

Oh yep theres the new effects.

Droids sleep? I guess power saver mode.

Wtf is that dome droid

Luke! Luuuuuke! Iconic 2 words there. Well reused for that episode of Rebels where Obiwan watches from a distance.

Bocce.. what a classic language.

OMG OWEN JUST LET HIM GO INTO TOSHE STATION TO PICK UP SOME POWER CONVERTERS JEEEEZ

How is that “wasting time with friends” and not chores, going into town to get something sounds like a chore to me.

Why did they get an atromech anyway? Like.. what’d they need the other droid for?

C3 is a real bro lbh, if it wasn’t for him, R2 would be with the jawa still.

Oooh oil bath. sexy.

I wonder if people ship R2 and C3 because tbh it makes sense to me.

Luke got an erection at the mention of the rebellion.

Now it’s getting harder at that random blurry image of his sister.

R2 is a cheeky lil shit.

This is just some good home life shit.

Dat soundtrack.

You know what.. it’s a really nice home.

Is it just me or is Owen dressed kinda Jedi-y.

So is “Sand People” like the racist way to say “Tusken Raider”?

Obiwan, thats a ridiculous fucking noise.

“Hello There” iconic.

You know what the Prequels do add a lot to this.

A young Jedi named Darth Vader.. im sorry.. thats just not a name.

For someone who wants to get off the planet, Lukes like “Naa but i gotta get home”

Obiwan also just being like “You know what, fuck it here.. lets go.”

You know what as much of a bitch as that guy who gets force choked is, he’s a good actor.

Also Tarkin yay.

NOOOOO OWEN AND BERU! YOU BASTARDS!

I feel like he should have dropped to his knees or something there.

That is a scary droid.

Cool door close.

Thats a weird ass CG droid with a hole in.

None of the other storm troopers gonna wonder why Dave’s being weird?

Wahey! Figrin Dan and the Model Nodes! Love that Jizz music.

Who just ugs on the back of a bartenders shirt? Wtf Luke

Yo he didnt even pay for his drink, free drinks?

Who gets the death sentance in 12 systems and goes around bragging?

The first arm cut off and theres all sortsw of blood which there shouldnt be because lightsabers cauterize the wound, tut tut.

Gooood scene with Han and Obi, honestly i keep forgetting to comment because im just watching xD

Wahey! Greedo

If we’re doing a han shot first thing.. Greedo shot first in this version and missed and then Han shot him but tbh i prefer the Han shot first.. makes him more interesting.

Jabba looks smaller.

Casual Boba Fett appearance.

Yooo Poncho. My boy Cal approves.

Fuck those weird long nose aliens.

The Falcon looks so good.

Get those poor guys by the Death Star laser a damn rail.

We just cool with igniting the lightsaber in front of Han and Chewie? Chewie at least knows wtf it is.

Chewie is a badass.

Let the Wookie win.

WTF that isnt the lightspeed effect.. it’s like a weird blanket tunnel

The fact they get onto the Death Star with no issue is kind of ridiculous.

The motion of Darth Vader is kinda just.. not fitting right.

Han just pat Chewie like hes a dog. Rude.

Han just gets caught up in this without a choice rly.

He just wants those sweet credits.

Also Set Design on Star Wars is amazing.

Leia just lounging all sexy like

Also does she have a stain on her tit? .. Not that im looking >.>

The Jedi being called a religion is kinda weird but i guess accurate.

This has to be the worst star to a friendship for all three of them. Chewie seems cool though.

I also thought the trash compactor scene was earlier on in this movie than it is.

Who the fucks voice was it that said “Thats your imagination” ?

How the fuck are they standing if the water is that deep?

I liek the touch of the monster whos name im sure i learnt but forgot let go as if it knew the trash compactor was about to turn on, that implies it has a safe spot down there that it stays.

Some of the voices sound off on this but ah well

Hans already a little Handsy with Leia but i think Harrison Ford was sleeping with Carie at the time so like.. i get it.

Obiwan just strolling about, as you do.

I love just these giant pits with walkways with no rails. If I worked on the Death Star it’d be a nightmare for me to get around.

“NO WAIT THEY’LL HEAR!” ...and they’re not gonna hear you shouting?

Stormtroopers just shooting the shit is the best.

You know what with everyone being like “Wow that ships a shitheap.” I can understand why the prequels made their ships look nicer and newer.

I love that shooting a door panel in star wars just makes it so the doors wont open at all, thats some good shit.

Lukes as bad of a shot as a Stormtrooper.

First little kissy incesty moment but hey it was on the cheek, universally thats fine but im sure at the time this was him setting up that Luke and Leia were gonna end up together, before he decided they were siblings.

Vader just standing there, lightsaber already out like “Ahhh Mr.Kenobi I’ve been expecting you”

As lack luster as the chroeography is in this fight im kinda thinking of it as like, they’re reading each other, like Obiwan and Maul’s final fight.

I don’t really know why Obiwan just chooses to die like that but heyo.

Vader stomping on Obiwans clothes? Why? I guess because he gave himself to the force and thats the first time he’s seen that?

I love the gunner seats moving around, idk why i just love it.

Whats the point of the ear peices if they’re just gonna shout at each other.

Not mentioned it until now but everyone says Leia wrong.

They’re really harsh to Han tbf

This is like if you got an Uber to a place and then the Uber driver got pulled into a police station because you’re a terrorist and then you have a go at the Uber driver for wanting to leave after he’s got you out of there.

Another kiss for Luke.. .. okay

I like how Biggs earlier scenes are deleted so when he shows up it’s just this random dude who somehow knows Luke

That air traffic control guy has no idea what hes doing, nobody is even in the air yet or moving, wait.

Man X wings are cool, makes me think of Battlefronts VR mission thing where you get to pilot one and it’s the coolest VR thing ive done.

For a space station the size of a moon you’d think they’d have enough fighters to just wipe out the rebels no biggy.

ALSO if they know the rebel base is on that planet, why not just blow that planet up?

YAY WEDGE

The targetting computer seems very invasive.

Those turrets are useless.

I would have rated it if they let that random dude blow up the Death Star.

Tarkins thinking face is beautiful. What a man,

If Luke missed this shot, everyone knows he’s turned his targetting computer off, so they would be PISSED

RIP R2.

HWHAT!?

Woooo Mr.Solo.

Well.. Well done Luke you killed a lot of people, some just trying to do a job and live their lives.

Han, Leia and Luke all went off together all holding each other.. like.. Threesome?

I’m sorry but after that, someones doing some fucking.

Leia just giving her lovers, dont @ me, a medal. Thats why Chewie doesnt get one, he wasnt there for the orgy.

R2 looking fresh.

You know what, that is a good complete story that actually works on its own, i appreaciate that. 10/10. :P

#ooc #dan watches #dan reacts

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weirdochick56 · 6 years ago

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Desensitized- Dean Winchester Chapter Six

Deamon!Dean Winchester x Virgin!Reader

Warnings: Angst, dark subjects, a panic attack, sadism, just dark, dark shit okay? Oh! Explicit language (duh)

Disclaimers: I don’t own and SPN plots/characters mentioned.

Word Count: 2, 690 words.

A/N: I’d also like to give credit to the amazing @sherlockedtash88 for giving me the idea on how to continue the story! Give the blog some love guys!

Read Chapter Five Here!!

***

You wake up gasping for air, your lungs expanding as far as they could in order to take in as much delicious oxygen as possible. You bolt upright and your eyes snap open at the sudden sharp pain shooting through your sides. You’re forced to fall flat on your back again.

You pant, your chest heaving and your mind whirling in circles. You screw your eyes shut in order to calm your twitchy body and wince at the sharp pain throbbing briskly through your entire body.

Your mind hazy, and your thoughts unordered, you struggle to calm down as you look up at the familiar ceiling and clutch at the soft sheets beneath you.

“Fuck did a goddam truck run me over?” You whisper to yourself in a raspy croak. Your mouth felt like you’d swallowed the dessert.

Glancing around you for any clues to tell you where you were, you lick your dry cracked lips. It looked like your room. You were on your bed and-

You furrow your brows as you peek down at yourself. You had been patched up and were now clad in a fresh pair of sweats and a tank top, your underwear was still on, thank God. Who the fuck had dressed you?

Your eyes widen when the memories suddenly flashback. Deanmon, the kiss, escaping, Sam’s sudden appearance and- oh fuck! Dean. They must’ve begun the treatment for him!

You sit up, this time carefully as to not mess with your freshly-stiched wounds and throw your legs over the side of the bed, sliding off the mattress with a small groan spilling out of your lips.

Your body felt like it’d been mauled by a wild bear.

Gradually, and keeping a tight clutch on your ribs, you stumble your way out of the room, wincing whenever you twisted your sore body the wrong way and sent a wave of pain shooting through you in excruciatingly sharp waves of agony.

Fortunately, the dungeon was right next door so although it took incredible amounts of effort to so much as hold your weight enough to make it there, it was much simpler than any other room in the bunker.

The first thing you saw was Castiel’s back. The beige trench coat strangely offering you a warm kind of comfort.

“Cas,” you hiss, touching your side lightly.

He spins around with alarm, looking at you with wide blue eyes. “Y/n! What are you doing up?” He immediately rushes over when he sees you almost doubled over in pain, throwing your arm over his shoulders and helping you stand upward.

You throw him a meekly thankful smile. “Thanks.”

He nods at you, his brow furrowed and helps you onto a nearby chair. He grabs a nearby unopened water bottle and passes it to you. You take it gratefully and gulp it down, sighing out after the cool liquid slides down your scratchy esophagus and offers immediate relief to your deteriorated state.

“You never answered my question. What’re you doing up?” He insists.

You look at him with a stern face. “Where’s Dean? And Sam?”

You can see him visibly deflate and your heart races with anxiety when he doesn’t immediately respond. “What?” You snap, despite yourself.

He sighs and looks at you with a regretful glance. “We’ve finished the purified blood treatment on him and...” he exhales heavily and you lean forward, your eyes already dampening.

“What? What happened?” Your heart was thumping loudly in your ears and the anxiety was gnawing at your insides rigorously.

He looks at you. “Dean’s not a demon anymore.” He pauses as you release a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding in and tears of relief escaped your eyes. “And Sam’s out looking for some food for him.” He finishes.

Your entire body sags in unimaginable satisfaction, and your muscles are too tense and sensitive to use and wipe your tears so you let them trail down your cheeks, leaving a wet kind of warmness in their wake.

“Really?” you croak with a weak smile.

Cas returns a reluctant one and nods in confirmation. “He’s resting in his room right now.” And after a few moments of letting you savor in the moment, he breaks the comfortable silence with a solemn expression.

“Thats great and all Y/n, but-” he hesitates. “B-but Dean still has the mark. We only eliminated one problem out of the two.”

You purse your lips at the realization that yes- Dean still has the mark of Cain and is, therefore, prone to become a bloodthirsty demon once more, but that -for now at least- he had gone back to being your Dean. The Dean that was an asshole with the biggest heart you’d ever seen. The Dean that loved pie and beer with his brother. The Dean that hid behind a big macho act in order to conceal how broken he truly was.

The Dean that- according to his demon counterpart- wanted to die. Was planning to even. And not only that- he apparently had feelings for you. And suddenly it dawned on you. He was gone, but what Deanmon said- it wasn’t. The brazen words hung in the tense air and hovered there, waiting to be snatched away and laid down and questioned.

You needed to know the truth.

Sighing, you look up at Cas, rising to your feet a bit too slowly. “L-listen Cas. I get that this problem needs to be dealt with, and I agree, it does. But,” you offer him a small smile. “We’ve already been through so much. I’m drained both emotionally and mentally and I’m sure Sam is too. And you may be an angel of the lord or whatever, but I know for a fact you feel the same way.” You pat his shoulder. “We’ll deal with the mark of Cain some other day. For now, let’s relax a bit. We deserve it.”

Cas sees reluctant, but nods and eyes you carefully. “Where do you think you’re going? I healed your facial wounds the best I could but the rest of your body...You should be resting right now.”

You exhale lightly through your nose, predicting his reaction to your next words. “I’m gonna go see Dean.”

You expect him to explode, tell you ‘no’ in a firm manner, his deep voice adding to the effect of the overprotective brother role. But he only talks softly, his face creased in concern. “Are you sure? I mean, after what he’s done...” he gestures loosely to your disarrayed state. “Are you sure you want to face him? I mean, you might not be ready, he-he was about to do some brash things to you Y/n. I’ uh- sorry that I wasn’t there to-”

You cut him off with a slightly pained smirk. “C’mon Cas! I’m a born and bred hunter! I’ve gone through worst shit. Plus, a few scratches never hurt anyone.” You try to sound enthusiastic, but it hurts to move your facial muscles. “And Dean...he’s back. Our Dean is back and I know it wasn’t him who did those things. It was the demon.”

It seemed you were right and Cas was completely beat because he didn’t bother arguing further with you, only threw a worried look when you spun on your heels and walked towards Dean’s room.

Were you ready to though?

***

You stood outside the mahogany door, your heart feeling inexplicably heavy in your chest.

Finally, after a lot of reassurance and reliance on your bubbling excitement to see him, you bring your knuckles down on the door repeatedly, waiting for a response. The number 11 stared down at you in big golden numbers and you breathed in softly, your nerves attempting to come back full force- but they don’t get the chance to when the door swings open.

“Wha-” he stops halts his sentence as soon as his. His plump pink lips part slightly and you can’t help but prop your body against the door, the pain becoming a bit too much.

And there he is. Looking tired and shocked and oh-so-handsome. You feel a large breath leave your body in a rush. And there he is.

You look into his eyes, searching for any sign that it isn’t him and that this is all a dream you’d wake up from and suddenly find yourself back in that dungeon, that you’d find a sudden flicker of disappointment claw at your insides. But all you see is the familiar green orbs you love so much. The only difference is that unlike before, his glance isn’t playful of smug, it’s soft, regretful and oh-so broken. He looks so guilty that it breaks your heart.

“Y/n...” his green eyes are so big, filled to the brim with tears. The way he uttered your name as if you would break from the simple word being said to you, as if the breath leaving his lips would blow you away from him.

No trace of deanmon, you note.

Only....you don’t feel an immediate sense of warmth and love for him fill you at the fact. It’s hard to describe but...you were battling between enveloping him in your arms, welcoming him and...running away? ...Why?

And then, almost as if a natural reaction at the same time memories of what he did to you- of what he was planning to do to you- flashed behind your lids vividly and unintentionally, when you look back into his eyes, you see those black eyes once more, that empty gaze in them and the maliciousness flashing back on before your very eyes. And just as unintentionally, you flinch when he utters your name once more.

“Oh, Y/n...” he whispers when he sees your cautious reaction to him. Warily, he steps closer to you, his arms outstretched to you, almost as if he was going to embrace you.

You can’t help it when your body went rigid, your muscles painfully contracting at the display of emotion. The move prompted the memories to keep coming full force, forcing you to screw your eyes shut.

Dean’s arms quickly come behind you and wrap around your waist. He forces you away and you scream louder. You kick and scream some more. Finally, as if on cue, Sam appears. Tears are trailing down your face and you can’t tell if in relief or because you were so worn out...

Dean’s touch is what brings you back from reality. His voice -one that should be calming and comforting after the shitshow you’ve been through- has the complete opposite effect on you and you tremble, scooching as far away from his embrace as the firm wall behind you would allow. You want to sink into it, disappear from his eyes and more importantly; from his reach.

His eyes stare at you, wide and green and so completely crushed as he raises his arms defensively, backing away at your more than clear hesitance to be near him.

More memories play over in your head and you can’t help the whimper that escapes your dry chapped lips.

Dean sighs exasperatedly, bringing his hand down on you. The sharp pain spread through you like a painful wildfire, tears welling up in your eyes.

“Y/n?”

Dean cut you in a few more untouched places, slicing the skin open. You tried to take your mind away from the excruciating pain and constant blood nauseating your every sense

“Are you okay sweetheart?” Dean’s brow furrows. More memories, more throbbing in your head.

“See? Wrong again sweetheart. The fact that your old Dean wanted to do things to you is the only reason I’m going to do this.” He reaches out, trailing his hand over your cheekbone. You shiver at his rough hands and their deceiving tender touch.

Sweetheart, sweetheart, sweetheart.

You clutch your head when the throbbing suddenly intensifies to a maximum.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, little virgin. I would’ve thought you out of all the people I’ve tortured would make the most satisfying sound.”

Torture, torture, torture.

“Mmmph!” you muffle your scream as Dean slices into your cheek with a knife for what felt like the hundredth time. He’d been going at it with you for the past hour or so. But to you, it felt like an entire eternity. Chained up to the walls, your blouse ripped open, pieces of fabric and buttons laying all around you on the dungeon.

“Y/n!” Suddenly Dean’s fingers wrap themselves around your arms, firmly, grounding you, bringing you back.

Your breathing is labored, your sides pulsated warmly, the hot pain spreading throughout all your wounds as your heart raced. Faster and faster.

Your vision blurred as you release a shirl scream, yanking yourself away from Dean’s suddenly repulsive touch. Your breathing got faster. Tears, tears. Spinning head. Spinning, spinning, spinning some more. Your grip your hair so tightly, your scalp burns. More memories.

He stares at you blankly for a moment, then all in one swift motion slips his hand into your hair and yanks your head back by it. You wince as your scalp screams in pain. You weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of hearing another scream leave your lips

You ignore Dean’s flabbergasted eyes, closing your own and releasing another scream. You wanted your brain to shut up. To stop the images from replaying in your mind like a movie.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up,” you chant over and over, hoping that that’ll get the thoughts to stop. The images.

You stumble back, disregarding the pain in your very bones and focusing on the one instilled in your chest. Open mouth, more panting. More air, more air.

Your back lands onto the wall, sinking down onto your butt. You intuitively wrap your arms around your knees, and press your head on them, trying to protect yourself as loud, heart-wrenching sobs rip through your sore throat and out your dry lips. Protect yourself from Dean.

You rock yourself back and forth as Dean speaks in a slightly panicked voice.

“Y/n? What’s wrong sweetheart?” You can hear him, practically feel him, kneel beside you, his warmth the ultimate indicator.

You look up at him, your eyes more than probably glistening with tears and terror. Absolute terror. “D-don’t h-hurt me p-please.”

You were scared. You were scared of him. Dean.

Dean’s POV

Crack.

I could feel my heart give out under the pressure and break into a million tiny fragments like fragile glass.

I’d done this. I’d done this to Y/n. I was so consumed by power by the darkness and its temptation that I-

I tortured her. My sweet innocent Y/n. I touched her and beat her and broke her spirit and wore her out until most of the fight left her body.

I did this.

And now she’s absolutely terrified of me. And I could try to tell her, to convince her that I would never hurt her like that again, I could try to confess my undying love for her.

I could try.

But that wouldn’t erase it.

Not the fact that I was a monster towards her. And it sure as hell wouldn’t erase the fact that it was me. That demon...as much as Sam and Cas and even I would like to believe was someone else, someone driven by the mark, it wasn’t just that. I craved the power, the control.

I wanted to kill and rape the love of my life against her will.

And even as I hated it, detested it, I had to admit...a small part of me, perhaps a sliver of my own soul...watching her sitting there, rocking her feeble body in a defensive position, powerless under me.

The small, microscopic sliver...it craved the control. The power that seeing her so defenseless gave. It loved the fear she fed it.

It was a sadistic fuck. I was a sadistic fuck.

I was disgusted by myself. If before I was a hopeless cause, now I was the most repugnant of beings. No vampire or werewolf or demon could ever be as abhorrent as me. I needed to stay as far away from Y/n as possible.

And watching her tremble with fear beside me, her chest heaving and loud, cracked sobs leaving her plump lips, I knew, somehow, that she wouldn’t mind.

***

Well, that was dark!

So, so, dark.

Anywho....y’all already know.

Let me know if you wanna be tagged in any shape or form. Send me messages, asks, REPLY (whatever suits you) and give me FEEDBACK. Mostly cause I’m trying a new style and shit ya’ know?

A Special Thanks to:

@multifandomdisappointment

@frozenhuntress67 - my “Desensitized” peeps

@multifandomdisappointment -currently only “Dean sweetheart”

And of course, my lovely forevers

@jessikared97

@sherlockedtash88

@lilypalmer1987

#Deanmon #deanmon x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester au #dean winchester roleplay #dean #dean winchester imagine

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ezekiel-deserved-better · 6 years ago

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@chrismcleanwithagun did it and it looked like fun S O here are things that have happened to me in my life as TD characters

harold: in 3rd grade i pretended to date a boy who was crushing on me so he'd give me his glaceon and leafeon pokemon cards, only because i desperately wanted to finish my eeveelution collection

eva: there was a boy in my 8th grade homeroom who sat behind me. every single day he would pull strands of hair out of my head, one by one, so after he did it one day i turned around and slapped him across the cheek. the teacher, who really didn't like this kid, just laughed and said "okay, thats actually pretty funny." and let me get away with it.

heather: i was taking a trip to the junior high side of the high school on a delivery to one of the 6th grade teachers for a teacher on the senior high side. before i could knock on the teacher's door, a random 6th grade boy (who couldnt have been taller than 4'7") tugged on the bottom of my shirt, looked up at me, and in the most innocent voice ever said "you have really nice boobies, miss." and walked into the classroom i was about to enter. i had to stand outside of the door for five minutes cry-laughing because that was the weirdest situation id ever been in during my entire life and i was feeling too many emotions to cope with

sadie and katie: when i was much younger (like 8 maybe) our town would host "kids nights" where people could bring their kids to play video games and watch movies and stuff every friday night. my best friend at the time really wanted to do karaoke to "build me up buttercup," but i didn't know ANY of the lyrics and there were no subtitles, but i also really didn't want to disappoint her. so when it was my turn to sing in the duet she'd just point to me and id start rapping random lyrics from knuckle's sonic adventure 2 songs and it was a disaster and i was really embarrassed and cried in the bathrooms afterward.

DJ: my mom and i went to a shelter so i could learn about volunteering. i went into the kennel part and saw a really beautiful german shepard that reminded me of my childhood dog, so i went up to the cage and said something like "aww, aren't you just the cutest wittle thing ever?" and not even a second after the german shepard THREW itself against the wire fence and barked louder and deeper than any dog ive ever heard before, and my mom laughed as i fell on my ass and SCREECHED out of fear cause i thought he was gonna break out and maul me

bridgette: when i was in first grade i was getting a new virus like every other week. i had managed to get swine flu and was watching TDI but it was the talent show episode, so when bridgette projectile vomited everywhere I projectile vomited everywhere and my mom banned me from watching "the drama show" while i was sick because of it and thats why i missed most initial airings

ezekiel: i responded with "what's updog?" loudly in the middle of a quiet funeral service and got sent outside for two hours

cody: i told my older sister i didn't want to play undertale with her and she lectured me for 20 minutes about how "deep" it was and i felt like i was being personally interrogated by matpat himself

noah: i finished a state test early in elementary school and managed to read through two warrior cat books back-to-back nonstop and thought i was going blind when i looked up and everything was a blur of colors. so i started panicking because i thought that i was going blind from reading warrior cats, but it turned out i just really needed glasses

#hi i just made this blog how is everyone #TDI #total drama island

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imgoldielikehawn · 7 years ago

Text

Hatred= Love? Drunk minds.. Sober thoughts

Rating: A for Angst

Pairing: Bjorn Ironside X WOC

Word Count: 2,173

AN: Only one more chapter left loves! Enjoy!

Chapter Before

As far as I was concerned Bjorn and I were finished. That night on the flight back home to the city I realized what had been staring me in the face all along. Bjorn did not want a partner, he wanted someone who raised children and did what they were told and that is not who I am.

What I wanted in life was important and he could not accept it then he could find another. I had made up my mind, I never wanted to see another Viking again if I could help it.

When I touched down in LA I packed away my things and made arrangements to move out of my old apartment. It was time for me to grow up and be an adult, No more Bullshit. I had a business to run. I was in my second week back at work when I was called into the my bosses office. I was worried that my extended trip away had hurt my chances at advancing within the company. I took a deep breath and walked into the glass office.

“Silve-Enah, Its good to have you back.” He Smiled putting down the papers he was holding.

“Its good to be back Sir.” I smiled uneasily unsure of where this was going.

“You practically made this company what it is today, but im sure you knew that already..” He crossed his hands on the wooden desk.

“Sir?” I was staring to feel uneasy and sick to my stomach.

“Your trip away made me realize two very important things; One you play a huge part in this companies success and two we can not survive without you!” He chuckled but I was holding my breath.

“It is my Honor to welcome you to the big leagues.. Congratulations Miss CEO…”

Those words turned my world completely upside down. All my hard work had finally paid off, id reached my goals. It was time to set some new goals and the first thing on my list was a home of my own.

I changed my Number, Changed my hair and did my very best to delete Bjorn from my life. I worked every day so I was kept extremely busy. When I wasn’t working I was moving into my new house. I spent the weekends decorating and working out. My new life was finally coming together and I had everything I could have asked for.

It was my first early Friday since the three weeks I had been promoted. I kind of had plans with Liza for the night but on the other hand I craved sleep. I hung my bags on the hook behind the door and went to let my German Shepard out of his kennel. Her name was Bourbon, she was a three year old rescue pup I adopted from the local shelter. Her Tags jingled and she jumped up to be pet and scratched.

I walked into the kitchen to fill her food bowl and then went to the laundry room to change into some sweats and a white tang top… Buh Bye bra!

I was looking at my wines on the lazy Susan when Bourbon started barking wildly.

Someone was at the door, figuring it was Liza I shushed Bourbon and went to the door. I opened it straight away without checking and was standing face to face with Ubbe. He worse a tan shirt under a leather jacket and jeans.

“Happy to see me?” He smirked expectantly.

“How the fuck did you find me Ubbe?” I frowned.

“I will tell you everything you want to know if you let me in.” He said and reluctantly I stepped aside so he could enter. Bourbon padded up to Ubbe wearily and sniffed his out stretched hand.

“She's kind of skittish so don’t be shocked if she wont….” My worlds trailed off as Bourbon came and sat right at Ubbes feet so he could pet her. She licked his hand and he scratched her between her ears. Ubbe looked over at me but just smiled smugly.

“Well then, can I offer you a drink?” I said walking back into the kitchen.

“I’ll have whatever you are having.” he grinned.

I poured us both a glass and watched him over the rim of my own has he brought his to his lips. New world clothing suited him well and he was quite handsome.

“Okay Ubbe, what are you doing here.” I sighed going to sit on the couch.

“You of course, you just disappeared and no one had heard from you. If it wasn’t for Lagertha and Ragnar, Bjorn would have already flown back here to look for you.” he chuckled.

“What do you mean?” I asked setting down my glass intrigued.

“Bjorn spent the first week searching for you in neighboring towns, but when he realized you weren't there he knew you’d flown back to LA. He was going to bring you back home but Lagertha and Ragnar told him he did not deserve you and that if you wanted to leave it was your choice and his fault.” He lifted his glass and drank deeply.

I laughed because he grimaced when he swallowed the mouthful. “It is not Ale Ubbe!”

“It sure isn't!” He blanched.

“I am not returning to Kattagat, No matter who tries to bring me. I have a home and life here, I am the queen of my castle. Bjorn does not deserve me.” I puffed out my chest and spoke firmly.

“I was afraid that would be your answer. I told him it was pointless to send me. If you had left I knew your mind was already made up.” He laughed softly and took another drink but this time it was much smaller.

“What would you do if you were me?” I dared. He did not answer right away but when he finally did it was quite profound.

“I would search my heart, it is impossible to be somewhere forever when your heart lies with another somewhere far away. I would ask myself if it was what I wanted.” he looked at me with the same Striking blue eyes as Ivars and Ragnars.

“The only thing I'm searching for is the bottom of this wine bottle.. I'm not going back with you.” I jumped up from the couch suddenly.

“Why, We both know you don’t belong here! You’re a warrior not some corporate puppet Silv!” Ubbe jumped up from the couch to meet my wrath.

“I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU CAME HERE!” I had snapped. Everything that had been burning in my chest for a month was spilling from me.

“I CAME HERE BECAUSE BJORN ASKED ME TO!” he snapped back. He was leaned over the glass table pointing at me as he shouted.

“OH YEAH LETS PRETEND THATS THE REAL REASON YOU’RE HERE! YOU JUST WANT ME TO BE A MINDLESS FUCKING ZOMBIE LIKE THE REST OF YOUR WIVES AND WOMEN! WHY DON’T YOU TAKE YOUR VIKING SCUM ASS BACK TO MARGRETHE!” I was fuming and seeing red. The veins were popping out in the side of Ubbes neck. He stormed off from the living area to the front door, he got half way there and in a swirl of anger he turned around and came at me like a bat out of hell.

“Fuck this game, I'm going to get what the fuck I came here for..” Ubbe reached out quick and snatched me up the way you snatched a small child misbehaving. I crashed into him painfully hard and he smashed his lips against mine. I was shocked but it wore off fast and I reached up and shoved Ubbe away. He came for me again and I decked the shit out of him forcing him to finally step back. We both stood in the living room staring at each other…

“Ivar was right… Bjorn does not deserve you.” He turned from me and walked right out the front door. I could not move as Bourbon stood in the entrance way growling after Ubbe.

Ubbes POV

I held the towel to my face while I sat back on the bed in mine and Bjorns Hotel room.

“I told you she hits hard brother.” Bjorn Chuckled bringing me more ice.

“Well it was either that or getting mauled by Her animal.” I winced as I removed the towel and replaced it with ice.

“She's an amazing woman Ubbe… I have to get her back.” Bjorn held his head in his hands. Long gone was the arrogant man I had grown up with. He looked lost for once…..

Silvees POV

It was still pretty early after the altercation with Ubbe, I opened a second bottle of wine and sat with Bourbon on the couch. The kiss with Ubbe was amazing, Margrethe was a lucky woman but it did not stir a single thing inside my heart. There was only one man who could do that and somehow the truth of that statement saddened me.

I looked over at the table behind the couch at the black and white photo of Bjorn and I during our first Yule. I picked up my phone and slid open the contacts to Bjorns name. I still hadn't been able to delete it when I came back to the states. I knew he wouldn't answer because he was all the way in Kattagat.

I dropped my cell back on the couch and got up to put my empty wine glass in the sink. I corked the remainder of the bottle and put it on top of the fridge. Bourbon was curled up in her kennel but I knew I needed to let her outside one last time before we turned in. I patted my thigh and she stretched and followed me to the front door. I opened the screen and she took off out into the yard, I was standing in the doorway singing to myself drunkenly while I waited for her to come back.

My Lady Gaga Solo was interrupted when Bourbon started barking. I walked out on to the porch to see what her problem was and almost fell down the stairs.

“Bourbon shhhhhhhhhhh! Haha... Bourbon I'm drunk but her name is Bourbon she should be the drunk one.” I laughed to myself.

“You always did prefer to laugh alone…” A voice I knew so well came from the walkway making me look up from my thoughts.

“What-ter you doing here?” I said opening my eyes wide to see Bjorn. There was no use in trying to sober up.

“I came to see you but if you want me to leave then I will.” He turned to go when I didn’t respond.

“Wait…” I called out. Bjorn came back towards me and stood on the bottom stair looking at me.

I took the opportunity to really see him. For the last few years we had spent so much time fighting that all the good things about us had been forgotten.

“I am sorry Silve-Enah….Just take me for the brute I am and know that I don’t deserve you.” He came up one more step.

“Fuck-k na you don’t” I frowned. “ But we’re up shits creek without a fucking paddle because I'm in love with you, you stupid bastard.” I Held out my arms like a child and he wrapped his firm arms around my waist and my legs went around his.

“Take me home..” I Said buried in the crook of his neck. I had missed his scent so much since I had left.. I had no idea where were going to go from here but there was one thing I had to say before we went inside.

“Bjorn ?” I pulled away and clumsily held his face between my small hands.

“Yes Silvee.” he said.

I leaned in real close and whispered, “ Ubbe Kissed me.. But I punched him.”

“Thank you for telling me..” he chuckled.

“But you already knew that didn’t you..” I frowned.

“Maybe…” He leaned forward to kiss the end of my nose.

“Have I told you I hate you ?” I smiled.

“Almost every day of our lives together….” He smirked kissing my lips this time.