#thats literally all i ever consume
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bluenightfm · 1 month ago
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the moshang variants ....
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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sorry im coping with aus again oopsie daisy. anyway here's my take on a fantasy au
it all started with me rewatching the D&D movie and thinking "hm. what (broad) classes would the neighbors have?"
and after much thinking i came to the conclusion: Barnaby = Bard / Eddie = Paladin / Sally = Sorcerer / Julie = fighter / Frank = monk / Howdy = Artificer / Poppy = Healer / Wally = 'Wizard'
those seem fitting! BUT i don't like restrictions or rules so in this very light worldbuilding for a casual (strongly glaring at myself here) CASUAL au, it's only dnd-esque. not actually dnd yk yk
in my head, they're not technically puppets for this au. they're flesh and blood, they've got bones, etc. they're actual Creatures, though they still look like Them! Julie's still pink w/ candy-corn-horns! Frank is still a gray tube! Barnaby is a big blue dog! they're just... not puppets. it's the same for the other beings in this fantasy world - they all keep the style, but they're all flesh n' blood if that makes sense. a cartoony fantasy world
so they have their little found family adventuring group titled, of course, The Neighborhood. because when they were first forming, Wally went "oh! are we a neighborhood? i've always wanted neighbors!" and it Stuck. so they all lovingly refer to each other as neighbors, even though the closest they get to being actual neighbors is pitching their tents next to each other & staying at an Inn in neighboring rooms
like your classic group of adventurers, they're almost constantly on the move. the longest they stay in one place is a couple of months - the rest of the time they're wandering! they take quests, get roped into general Shenanigans, etc. they adventure! and get into a lot of battles of varying severity
so Barnaby is still kiiiiind of a bard? best i can describe him is jack-of-all-trades moral support! he provides battle music, keeps the mood light, and stands off to the side to offer quips and tips. he prefers not to fight, and only Gets Involved when the others need Backup. even then, he usually takes the role of defending his neighbors. he has a good eye for whether or not physical support is needed - he never needs to be asked when there's a legitimate need for him! unless he's thoroughly distracted from the goings-on. he does have magic, but it's more for show / defense-based
Eddie's still pretty classically a paladin. healing powers, armor, there to be on the front lines and Protect! the group's sword and shield! he technically serves a god but he forgot who <3 he just makes the occasional general offering and mumbles some vague prayer. he's super friendly! super helpful! super willing to dive into the line of fire! Will disregard his own safety without a second thought! his magic is pretty much restricted to healing, and it's weak healing at that (maybe because he can't properly serve his god...), so it's mostly good for quick mid-battle heals and little wounds. temporary fixes!
Sally has innate fire/light magic, and she's very showy with it! she puts Flair and Pizazz into all of her casts and is very dramatic on the battlefield - she manages to turn her fights into a performance. She tag-teams keeping the Neighborhood entertained with Barnaby. he handles the humor/lightheartedness, she handles the escapism/encouragement. she writes scripts & stories in her off-time, and often reads them (or spins a new one) after dinner. when they have weeks / month breaks in one spot, sometimes she'll recruit local thespians to create a play
Frank is all about that hand-to-hand combat babey! he wants to feel bones break under his fists! he wants those split knuckles! he very often starts fights, and even more often finishes them - what he lacks in raw power he makes up for in vicious tenacity. he just Keeps On Going! he seconds as the group's Knowledge Guy. while his hobby is studying insects, he also catalogues/studies monsters and enemies and terrain so that the Neighborhood can always be prepared. the only time he stays out of fights is when he's researching or note-taking. he tries to micromanage the battle from afar anyway
Julie is like... put a druid, a fighter, and a barbarian in a blender. she's got a big sword! she's got seemingly endless energy in battle! she can talk to plants, especially flowers! her flora magic is very minor, so it's not like she's making giant roots burst out of the ground and strangle people. but plants can give her information, and if she asks nicely and they feel like it, sometimes they'll help her out. in battle she's a force to be reckoned with! nothing will stop her and her sword! she's usually the second (closely following Frank, with Eddie hot on her heels) Neighbor charging into battle - but she's the one with the stellar war cry! & where Sally and Barnaby tend to the Neighborhood's emotional wellbeing & entertainment, Julie keeps things fresh with Physical Activities during their downtime!
Poppy is a powerful healer! she draws on an individual's energy (often taps into her own as well) to convert it into healing power. it's draining but it's damn good healing! she also takes the role of the Neighborhood's cook (the others still like to help, especially Frank who is essentially her sous-chef) and makes sure they're all healthy. she hangs back during battles, waiting to (and hoping that she doesn't have to) heal a wounded Neighbor. if one of them is badly hit, she forces herself to run into battle and drag them to safety before working on their injury. she has a tiny bit of illusion magic, which she'll cast from afar to assist her Neighbors. she tries not to use it outside of emergencies - it takes a lot of energy, which she tries to conserve just in case.
Howdy has Zero Magic! none! four hands and none of them are magical! however, he's a damn good inventor & a whiz at potion making. he can Use magical items like there's no tomorrow - he just can't wield it himself. he supplies the group with potions, helpful items, all sorts of goodies - given that they can trade for it with anything he'd accept in-canon. the only exception is when they're mid-battle - he hands stuff out when needed without haggle. he supplies the group with their cash when they're not getting it from looting/quests - he has a magic backpack that can unfold into a fully-stocked merchant stall! he sells at towns, on the road, anywhere he can! In battle he hangs back with Poppy and, yes, supplies items, but he also uses ranged attacks - magical weapons that cast for him, magic 'bombs', that sort of thing! but there's a little secret - he's the Neighborhood's secret weapon. he invented fantasy guns! four magic revolvers that, when the 'second safety' is turned off, multiply into a giant clusterfuck of guns (with ammo ranging from magic 'bullets' to essentially rocket launchers). unfortunately he can only use this setting once & for a limited time before the guns overload & have to be manually repaired. so he either uses them off of the first safety (i.e, they're 'normal'), or not at all. you know shit is Really hitting the fan when he joins a fight
and Wally! Wally Wally Wally... you may have noticed that i put his class 'wizard' in quotes. that's because he says he's a wizard, but he's not! he just says he's one due to the automatic stigma and fear of what he really is - a Warlock! his patron is Home, an eldritch horror that many would classify as a demon. they have a very special, codependent pact that neither of them can live without - Wally wears their 'seal' as a house-shaped pendant on a choker (necklace) hidden under his clothes. Home is extraordinarily powerful, but Wally barely taps into that power. he has a grimoire that Home inscribed with a bunch of sigils that convert into spells when drawn & then cast in the air. the only other powers he uses are seeing-in-the-dark, seeing-magic, and opening teleportation doors! Wally can't sleep, but he can doze - though he's never fully unaware of his surroundings (its kind of like how dolphins only sleep with one half of their brain). he still eats with his eyes, which both feeds him & acts as a form of providing daily energy to Home, since Home can't exactly consume souls every day. If Wally uses too much magic, he has to rest inside of Home's house-form, which is the only time he actually fully sleeps. no one knows about Home, or that Wally is lying about his wizard status.
Home is a lovecraftian being with three forms. the first is the lowest power level - a cute one-room house with Eyes! i.e: Home Classic! Wally's pendant unfolds into it, and it's the main way Wally and Home physically interact & communicate. the second is possession - if Wally explicitly allows it, Home can completely take over his body and kind of 'tuck him away' to have a nice deep nap while Home takes the reins (Home can technically force this, but it's very difficult and would not go over well w/ Wally - it would also be an unstable possession). the third is Home's true form - a massive shadowy eldritch monster made of writhing darkness and nightmares that no one in their right mind would look at, let alone fight. Home has very complicated feelings about Wally & the Neighborhood. they are also, quite literally, Wally's heart - which is part of their pact.
i have some scene ideas & little Plot Concepts (most notably the times the Neighborhood learns two Very Big Secrets about Wally, one of which being the warlock/Home reveal).
but yeah that's moooostly it. basic stuff yk, not very in depth! just fun things to feed my maladaptive daydreaming & escapism
#warlock-masquerading-as-a-wizard wally is fun#cause youve got this funny little guy! in his little wizard outfit and his staff and classic wizard eccentricities!#but he has a lovecraftian horror curled up in his chest excited for its next opportunity to consume souls#home when making wally's body: ah fuck how do people eat again??? with their eyes right??? that sounds right... thats how i eat...#home a week later: shitshitshit their MOUTHS they eat with this Mouths goddamn it.... too late to fix it now#cut to wally internally panicking while watching other people drink/eat normally#hm i Realized that like... half the Neighborhood more often than not doesn't outright fight#poppy hangs back. howdy hangs back. barnaby rarely joins. frank is often busy researching#and then you've got eddie & julie going full-tilt nonstop absolutely mowing down enemies like there's no tomorrow. sword besties <3#wally and Sally casting from the middle ground...#wh fantasy au#maybe the howdy enthusiast in me is jumping out lately but hes soooo good in this au i swear#he's out here bargaining over a potion with his own neighbor mid-battle#bc he Will be funny about it when the stakes aren't high#forcing them to go through transactions even though he'd give the goods to em anyway#him vibing with poppy & barnaby while explosions go off in the background#and then when shit hits the fan he gets to be a Certified Badass and whips out the big guns with the cockiest grin you've ever seen#hes fun. i love him.#they're all fun. i love them.#home & wally make me especially Ough in this au. their relationship is so messy and you literally cannot have one without the other
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spitblaze · 1 year ago
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todays award for 'man what the fuck' goes to reddit for making me see pr0/-ship discourse in goddamn 2023. thought we were past that but i guess not
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dockaspbrak · 10 months ago
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i think the stock market in its entirety is such a flop....back to grain markets.
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cowboy-robooty · 2 years ago
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i go on novel updates i find something that fucking sucks i read 300 chapters of it and i quit before the ending that i read the entire thing for (it ends at chapter 304) then repeat. sisyphus grindset
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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years ago
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LOVE ME THE MOST THE MOST YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!!!!! LOVE ME THE MOST I NEED TO BE THE ONLY THING IN YOUR MIND
#mine#🎸#vibrating at immense speeds rn ajskwkfllflwncf the MOST THE MOST ever#the only thing in your mind i need to be the BEST the most loved augh im not doing anything wrong but its still not ENOUGH#why cant i be satisfied. but at the same time LOVE ME MORE AND MORE AND MORE UNTIL LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE EXISTS#i need to add more fuel to the fire of our love but i dont know what to do exactly... clearly mentioning the issue didnt work#idk i literally want him to kill me or something i need to be consumed by love. ah all of our mutual friends are quickly going to#learn how fucking mentally ill i can get. im not ready for them to but if hes telling them these things then theyre gonna KNOW#love me more more more i thought you used to be scared of how much you loved me. obsess over me again!!!!!!#if im not the one doing anything wrong what is the problem. what is preventing you from loving me the most you possibly can!!!#if its something with me I'll just kill that part of me. ugh he wouldnt want me partaking in unhealthy thoughts like this#so what is there to do? i need to drown in the grain silo of love. there isnt enough to drown in rn though... i cant just#make him love me more. an evil oriented solution would be to make everyone hate him so he just loves me but thats a horrible thing to do#and id feel bad about it forever. so im not gonna do THAT i want him to be happy. but even when hes happy he isnt loving me intensely#i need to be desired i need to be ripped open like a phone book –_–#everyone is learning how insane abt him i am and its kind of embarrassing. well my feelings i guess. it is embarrassing to have feelings#if this whole situation was an asmr youd be listening to it willingly. but its NOT arent you supposed to like me like this#im overthinking this hes probably just depressed which is making it difficult to be insane
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timeisacephalopod · 2 years ago
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The fact that cigarette companies exist is fucking dystopian and a sign of the failure of capitalism as an ideology- cigarettes are a product that undeniably caused a bunch of different cancers, we've all seen the tobacco death stats on the back of cig cartons smokers have, and yet. And yet, for some reason instead of saying "zero businesses should be selling cancer causing products to their customers, certainly not when those cancer causing products are so dangerous even the smoke of the product causes cancers in the people around smokers. Businesses have zero right to cause a massive health crisis in the population like this when their only function is to make money- you cannot give people cancer for profit."
Like you'd assume giving people cancer for money would be some kind of fucked dystopian novel that'd get ripped on for being way too over the top and unrealistic but no, we literally live in such a morally bankrupt capitalist brain rotted society that we think selling cancer is fine, we won't do anything about a set of companies that exist solely to get customers addicted to their highly dangerous product for profit. Instead we'll act like it's smokers who need to take responsibility for the industry that's exploiting them. Fucking disgusting if you ask me, that we're more okay with companies giving people cancer than we are with governments giving people welfare.
#winters ramblings#my parents have been smokers for as far back as i remember#id really like to livht some ceos on fire for putting all these people at risk OF CANCER and like 72 billion kinds#so they can make MONEY. what kind of morally vacuous black hole of a person thinks thats acceptable??#and they LOBBIED to hide any effects of smoking second hand effects included. fucking HORRIFYING#the fact that businesses do this a LOT- like bp shell and exxon all covering up climate change to make more money??#capitalism is a failure because people will kill each other or even THE ONLY VIABLE PLANET TO LIVE ON IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM#just to make money. like you can tell me about how horrible other economic systems are all fucking day#and frankly id be inclined to ahree with you on plenty. but capitalism is not a viable choice either#when THIS is the result. selling health crises to the population and killing the planet. name me another economic system thats done THAT#ill fucking wait because capitalism is it. embarrassing that people will defend this system#even more embarrassing that we hand wring over fst people being an epidemic to the point of systemic oppression#because THEY need to take responsibility for the health crisis they allegedly cause despite reporting going to the drs FAR less#than thin people so idk how theyre astrain on health care especially in the us where people literally die before going to emerg but ok#THEY need to be responsible for THEIR health crisis despite losing weight long term being NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE#but tobacco companies can sell cancer to the point if being a WAY MORE SOLVABLE HEALTH CRISIS#but we cant do anything because being disgustingly cruel and punative to individuals is fine but oh dear LORD#how could we EVER treat businesses with more impunity than individuals because they cause INFINITY MORE DAMAGE??#we couldn't POSSIBLY treat a structure of institutional power like it actually HAS power thatd break the illusion its all CONSUMERS faults
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gojuo · 2 years ago
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love triangles ...
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dream-launch · 2 years ago
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How come when people talk about like tryna support people who are in a very rough place mentally they always give the usual you're not alone I'm there for you but never actually make any effort to be there - no reaching out, no desire to even wanna talk - like it's just bullshitting cause they know it would sound too obviously mean to be like oh your not okay? Well too bad don't bother me with that shit I don't care enough about you.
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falinscloaca · 8 months ago
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shoutouts to tumblr being kinda normal about homestuck for a while until that poll thing happened
#EDIT: HOLD ON MY NOTES GOT SCROMPLED AROUND#normal is defined as#QUOTATION MARKS#its kinda fucking racist without ever exactly getting better in that regard and had a likewise problematic history wi#with every other societal ill but it DID markedly improve on most of those throughout its lifespan. to deny either is fucking stupid.#its not a south park level 'persona non grata' type media to consume though its. literally it just isn't.#even baseline consumption of south park isn't technically the issue its. well its FANDOMING it you can watch a shitty show thats not.-#ok thats sidetracking things. you can read homestuck and make it your personality theres a lot more good than bad in there its just that th#bad shit really sucks and the fandomside bad shit is even fucking worse good golly jesus christ#END QUOTATION MARKS#reintroduces myself to the fandom like 'hey wow i don't respect any of you people! fuck off! heres my comic!'#don't trust a trans homestuck fan with over (arbitrary number) followers. don't trust a cis one either though. don't trust a homestuck fan.#also don't trust a fan of telling you to not trust homestuck fans they're the worst of them all they should be put to death#*beaten over the head with a hammer by a second myself*#theres some sort of parallelism between homestuck sonic and their respective fandoms in that sense. but it might only seem that way because#i know more sonic fandomside horrors and treasures than i do a lotta larger fandoms even for things i'm more active in
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carefisher · 8 months ago
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i wish i was brave enough to talk to the people i love. but i’m so debilitatingly scared of being a burden that the idea of talking to someone when i get this sad is actually absurd
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delusionalwh6re · 7 months ago
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neteyam sully headcanons
summary: how i think neteyam would be in a relationship
warnings: 🔞 this contains sfw AND nsfw content, you’re responsible for what you consume on the internet.
he’s aged up too before some of yall even start.
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im sorry but these have to be literal facts…
- protective
THIS MAN IS SO PROTECTIVE OVER YOU
especially if you’re a human, be ready for him to just randomly pick you up or hold onto you like you’re a child
even when you’re na’vi and can easily stand up for yourself he doesn’t give a singular fuck
he will not hesitate to grab onto your waist and guide you where ever you need to go
“neteyam im fine”
“oh yes you are” he smirked at you
you couldn’t help but laugh at your man “will you please let me go? im literally just going to get water..”
“i know but i can’t let anything to my cute little sugar plum” he replied playfully
you pursed your lips and stared at him
“never say that shit again”
when he’s “jealous”
- he has that stern tone WHEWWW 🫦
- like if he tells u to do something he expects you to do it…
- and if you’re the “boy you not my daddy” typa girl, oh trust and believe all of that will change
“i don’t want you talking to him”
“we’re just friends neteyam”
“i don’t care, he’s obviously trying to court you”
“and who are you to tell me who i can’t be friends with? you’re not in control over me” you rolled your eyes
“not how it was last night” he crossed his arms
were you silent or silenced? 😕
-honestly i don’t think he’s the super jealous type
-like he’s not finna go bat shit crazy when he knows he has yo ass locked down yk?
-he’s definitely not afraid to put a mf in their place when they get outta line tho
his confidence ��😍
- like i said, he knows he has you locked down
-even before you guys were together he was still confident in himself which is a reason why he got you in the first place
- he’s not the cocky type but he’s the “my girl ain’t leaving me for any of yall bums” type 😭
- he’s never afraid to show you off either
- when i tell you EVERYONE knows, they know..
- so him being confident in himself + your relationship = future marriage
his humor
- im so tired of some of yall trying to make it seem like neteyam is so innocent or has no sense of humor
- unfortunately we didn’t get to see much of him (james check ur walls tonight)
- but i just know this mf was funny and so out of pocket
- it’s always them quiet ones im tellin u 😭
- the two of you would have such a funny and just a fun relationship in general
- especially if both of you have a sense of humor which real bad bitches have
- i just feel like neteyam wouldn’t be with someone “boring” or “dry” you feel me?
- so the two of you have quite the time together
- the things you guys say to each other are so unhinged like…
you watched as neteyam fished
the way his muscles flexed and back tensed up whenever he prepared to catch his pray
you have never been so down bad for a man and you prayed to eywa that she never took him away (well…)
eywa had really blessed you with the most gorgeous man on pandora
‘i just wanna eat him’ you thought
“what are you staring at sevin?” he caught you staring
“have you ever had it sucked from the back?”
“THATS POSSIBLE?”
and
you and neteyam were playing around in the lab
you guys were minding your business until the two of you found this thing called a ‘face mask’
it was a slimy, cold and thick consistency
so the two of you decided to play with it after asking norm for permission
it was a mess at first but the two of you got it eventually…
the two of you had the black goop all over your face and of course the two of you couldn’t take it seriously
“you look like a really old pile of shit” neteyam laughed at your zoned out face
“shut up, you look like a sky person’s soul”
the two of you laughed at each other which made the mask crease but didn’t even care
he smirked and licked his lips “you should put some on your ass”
you smirked back “you should put some on your balls”
“only if you put it on for me” he rubbed your thighs with a goofy smile
“EWWWWWW” you giggled at him
his bond with kids 🥹
- now me personally i don’t fw kids like that it really depends but if neteyam wants to make our own clan im spreading my legs IMMEDIATELY
- you find the way he is with kids so adorable
- it honestly came natural to him since he was basically a third parent to all his siblings
- you would catch him playing with the kids in the village and felt your heart physically warm at the sight
- it lead to you having thoughts
- like how he would be with your own children?
- and when that finally does happen. oh eywa.
- he’s the best father ever
- no matter if you have a daughter or son first he’s so insistent on getting rid of the eldest sibling curse
- he refuses for your children to follow in his unwanted footsteps
- he loves his family and wouldn’t trade them for the world but he definitely wish he had more of a childhood
- this causes the bond with his children to be stronger than ever
- he’s so understanding
- your kids are never afraid to come to him about anything and he always gives them advice
- even when there’s subjects he’s a little uncomfortable with he never pushes his kids away
i want him to be my baby daddy.
when there’s an argument
- every relationship has ups and downs
- yours and neteyam’s had no exceptions
- you usually talk your disagreements out since it’s the mature thing to do but when there’s an argument…
- this actually doesn’t happen too often but when it does the both of you just let out that built up frustration
- it sounds toxic but the two of you actually find it healthy to bump heads every now and then
- the arguments never get physical
- which helps because at the end of the day when the both of you calm down and sit down to get your shit together, it’s so worth it
you made your way back to you and neteyam’s hut after the big fight you two got in this morning
to be honest you were dreading it
you knew you had to face neteyam eventually and running wasn’t the smarted option, you knew he would track you down if he needed to
you audibly sighed before opening the flap
he was sitting in front of the fire and turned his head at the scent of you
“hey” he mumbled while picking on his loincloth
“hi” you gave him an awkward smile
there was a silence growing
“im sorry” you both blurted out at the same time
the two of you softly laughed at that
“come here” he stood up and reached his arms out
you practically ran to your man to hug him tightly before the two of you settled down for the night and never letting each other go
warning 🔞: NSFW content starting below!!
this man’s mouth is FILTHY.
- yall think he’s so innocent huh?
- yeah no thanks im not buying that shit
- when he has you pinned down underneath him all that goes out the door!!
- he’ll literally be pounding yo shit while you grip onto him for dear life and this mf doesn’t make it any better
“pussy so good” he grunted in your ear
honestly you didn’t even hear him, it felt so good that you literally lost your common sense
“mhm neteyam” was the only thing you could moan out
“fuck” he let out a long moan as his thrusts started to get sloppier which meant he was close
your eyes rolled to back of your head and your jaw dropped as he picked up his pace
- all you could hear was
“i could stay inside of you forever”
“cum on this dick”
“you can take it”
“we’re not stopping i hope you know that”
“wake up for me baby so you can see me cum all inside you”
“i want you bent over after this im not done”
“you’re so pretty fucked out it’s almost funny”
UM HELLO???
there’s dirtier things than that but you guys can use your imagination.. 😏
- even outside of the bedroom this man has ZERO shame
- like if some goofy ass nigga was trying to holla at you neteyam is NOT with it
- this fool will be all up in neteyam’s face talkin about some “just wait until i have y/n, she’s gonna be all mine mwahahaha”
- all neteyam had to do was hit him with the
“well when you do let me know how my dick tastes on both of her lips”
- safe to say that wannabe kept his distance…
he’s a certified pussy devouring god.
- he don’t care whenever or wherever it is
- if he wants to eat he’s gonna EAT.
- he’ll put you on the ground, rock, sand, table, chair, ceiling, bed, mat, against the door, air, upside down, on the side, bent over, in a handstand, in a split, etc
- he does NAWT care. like at all.
- he loves eating that wap
- he loves the taste and scent of you
- like it’s an actual addiction
- he loves giving and receiving
- definitely giving more tho
- the way you squirm around, grip his hair and let out those sexy moans you do every time he hits that spot
-there’s literally been times when he came untouched to just the sound of you while eating you out…
- he doesn’t give a fuck how many times you cum, if he’s not covered in your juices then he’s not done
if there was a reward for best dick ever neteyam easily got that
- now let’s be honest… are we shocked?
- nope! #bbc
- like everything else in his life that dick game is top tier
- he just KNOWS what to do with it
- you never worry about him not hitting those spots because he does every single time 😫
- he can’t help but laugh at how you act on it too
- the way you let out a breathy moan as he slides into you
- the way you throw your head back when he throws your leg over his shoulder to thrust deeper inside you
- the way you had tears streaming down your face when riding him because he felt so much bigger and deeper in that position
- the way you throw your hand behind you when he’s blowing your back out to get him to slow down only for him to slap your hand away
- yall know that audio that says “dear diary, it’s now day 16 without dick and im starting to lose hearing in my left eye and taste in my right”
- that’s how you feel every time you and neteyam spend sexual time apart
- yeah that dick is powerful.
the aftercare. omfg HIS aftercare.
- after neteyam rearranges all of your insides he immediately tends to you
- he basically teleports to get a wet towel to gently clean you up with
- he’s placing kisses all over your ENTIRE body
- he never shys away with showing you affection in or out of the bedroom and now is one of those times
- he’s nonstop telling you “i love you” “you’re so perfect” “my beautiful girl”
-now you know it’s the bare minimum BUT wait hear me out!
- he makes it feel like HEAVEN
- he massages parts of your body while soothing you in a calm tone
- “you did so good for me” “took me so well mama”
- like boy stop before we go for round 69
- you cry almost every time he lets you know how special you are to him
- he literally thanks you for giving your body to him because you have no obligation to do that and he feels lucky every time you open up for him
your head hit the makeshift pillow underneath you with a soft thud as you let out a moan of exhaustion
“that was so” you stopped mid sentence to gather your breath
you heard neteyam chuckle at you. you turned your head with a soft smile to look at him
“that good huh?” he smirked positioning himself to hold you
“yes” you blushed hiding your head in his chest
he smirked “I can tell, i got you shaking like crazy”
you lifted your head up to glare at him “alright now not too much..”
he laughed at you as always before kissing your head and laying you back down on his chest. the two of you just soaked in each other’s presence. one of the favorite parts of your day.
actually it was your favorite
as you listened to his heart beat, you felt it pick up like he was thinking about something to make his heart race
you traced hearts on his chest “you okay love?”
“yeah” he said after a while
“don’t lie to me” you slid your hand up and down his abs
he stiffened as you did that before speaking up
“i think i just fell more in love with you”
you froze
“no, i know i just fell more in love with you”
you lifted your head up to understand what he was talking about
“i just fell more in love with you too” you smiled
he smiled “you don’t understand how perfect you are. i swear i want this forever. you always make me feel at home, you are my home. you’re the reason my heart keeps beating. i couldn’t have asked eywa for a better woman. honestly i didn’t even have to ask, she just sent you to me. which is how i know we’re meant to be”
a tear fell down your eye as he moved the hair from out of your face
you jumped up to put your entire body over him
he let out a short laugh as he happily opened his arms for you to take you in. the two of you made eye contact
the type of eye contact that can make you fall in love all over again
“i love you” he gave you the most cutest face ever
“i love you more” your pupils dilated
that’s when a hard smack land on your ass
“OH HELL NAH”
“we talked about that”
you rolled your eyes
“roll em again and see what happens” he tightened his grip on your hips
“what are you gonna do?” you teased
“give you something that will really make your eyes roll back”
you giggled and placed kisses all over his face
“seriously though, i love you more”
“y/n stop fucking playing with me”
“what did i do?”
“you know what, i love YOU more”
“no”
“yes”
“NO”
“i can do this all night baby”
- and the two of you went back and forth for a while before you eventually gave up realizing neteyam wasn’t gonna let it go
- you let him think he was right even though you knew the truth
- men smh
- you both went to sleep cuddling and kissing all throughout the night
- you couldn’t have asked for a man better than neteyam sully because there simply wasn’t one.
THATS MY MANNNNNNNNNNN
okay so i thought this was a pretty cute and decent place to stop 🥹
in my next life i will be neteyam’s wife. idc what it takes.
these are some of MY headcanons, you don’t have to agree! but i would like to hear some of yours
should i do lo’ak next? 😜
love, liana
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eldrith · 4 months ago
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i literally just thought abt this ajehbsha but like what if the reader was jace's bethrothed that was "killed" by the greens during the dance, but was actually captured and brainwashed her to be an assasin ksjwbsna
think of it somewhat like bucky barnes
safe flight on ur trip!:)
BABE YOUR MIND…. also i haven't seen the marvel movies in ages so im kinda going off what i can recall . and i took this in a bit of a diff direction i hope thats ok but i love this i could write a whole fucking book about this omfg. your mind is beautiful id love to keep it in a jar warnings: mentions of torture, death, assassinations, angst, allusions to smut if you squint, targcest bc its implied you are aegon's sister/of valyrian blood, brief allusion to suicidal thoughts, fluff mostly at the end and is a bit canon divergent. and yes i know this is 3.1k words but it's still a headcanon ok. its just a great concept
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you and jacaerys are betrothed when you are young.
despite this, you remain close; shy smiles, kind whispers and youthful awkwardness that blossoms into a strong, devoted friendship. you're to be queen - and he, king. indeed you study for your future duties side by side, with prideful grins - and along the way, you find time for yourselves.
in youth, it is in teaching jacaerys to sew and read tarot, painting, or maybe even showing him the game you used to play with your brothers; it is in him teaching you to wield a sword, studying high valyrian together, him showing you how to climb the castle's ramparts, and inviting you along with he and luke to throw stones at the sea.
as you grow old, it is in jacaerys giving you rides on vermax, dancing with him any chance you can, exploring nature - mountains with caves and tall waterfalls that he pulls you under with feverish kisses, finding ways to sneak to each other's chambers; it is in you kissing his cheek and teasing him when his face grows pink, bringing lucerys along with the two of you when you begin to sneak out of the castle, in sharing too many cups of wine and stumbling to your quarters, in hands weaving through each other's hair.
it is nice.
but then, the war.
things are as okay as they can be for a while- duty is a blessing and a curse for you both. tensions mount. jacaerys feels like everything is falling apart, but he has you; his best friend, his lover, his favorite person in the entirety of the seven kingdoms. you cry with each other, train with each other, sneak off when things become too intense in court. you begin to whisper about a secret wedding, a traditional valyrian one; intimate, quiet.
he just wants to call you his wife, and you just want to call him your husband. but duty has a way of interfering with even the sweetest plans.
the evening jace leaves to treat at winterfell, you clasp a chain round his neck, one you strung your favorite ring through; a keepsake, perhaps. or as he likes to think, a reminder of you during the cold nights in the north.
despite it all, things are okay.
until he loses you.
you are killed with your dragon, defending a crucial line of passage for their men; vhagar and aemond are the last ones to see you as your dragon spirals beyond a hill, wings singed and aflame. you vanish.
jace is overwhelmed with grief.
the news comes just as he's beginning to find himself in a new world - a world without his younger brother - and he, an empty pit of grief and despair, isolates himself from others. consumed by sorrow and rage, his emotions spiral out of control - snapping, yelling, unable to contain his emotions even at council.
his days are marked by a deep mourning that he's unsure will ever be mended. life continues in its droll capacity - the war rages on, and jace becomes more bitter, and more like his great uncle daemon. bloodthirsty, demanding revenge.
and then, you return from the dead.
the day you come back to him is rainy and drowsy. he had foolishly, or in a bout of grief, not noticed the sounds of dragon overhead the caste; a dragon whose screech he had not heard in many moons.
his mother is the one to find him - alone, staring at the hearth in his quarters, eyes filmed with the glossy haze of sorrow.
rhaenyra's face is ghostly, sickly - and he grows immediately concerned as he sees her expression, rising to grasp her arms. "mother, are you well?"
he is shocked when he hears her whisper out: "she's alive."
his worry for his mother vanishes, blinded by her words. you. you're...
and despite being ordered to remain, his legs carry him out - to you. his mother's own footfalls follow behind him, her voice begging. he does not listen, even when she warns him - there is something that isn't right.
when he finally finds you he's elated, heart nearly stopping when your eyes meet.
but there's something missing.
when he takes you into his arms, you're cold; barely blinking, you are not who you used to be.
his own tears distort his vision as he cups your face, pressing a kiss to your full lips - and perhaps that is why he does not notice the sullen, empty look on your face. but he feels it in the way your lips do not kiss back.
jace tries to ignore it, at first.
as you are nursed back to physical health, you avoid telling the court of the truth. all that is revealed is the harrowing tale of your mangled body, put back together by the maester in the red keep; your mutilated dragon, whose health was dangled over your head by your own brother, the one whose head bears a crown that is not his.
you do not speak of your time, but the nightmares you wake from, screaming your throat raw, speak for themselves.
you heal.
you begin to show some signs of humanity after the initial shock subsides; and when you begin to seek his touch, he is glad for that semblance of what you used to have.
but it isn't the same.
you flinch at the slightest movements; your face, once expressive and joyful, is rarely lax of the straight, icy stare you send mostly towards walls. he knows he must be patient; you've endured something he could not imagine - but he cannot help his unease.
you do not speak as you used to - lapse in memory, seemingly unfamiliar with jacaerys; as if you did not grow up together, running down halls, whispering secrets, notching each other’s heights in the frame of your chamber’s threshold.
he can't help when he begins to turn away from your lips, avoiding the mechanical feeling of your mouth upon his, the coldness of your eyes when you attempt to unlace his tunic.
he feels as though it is a different person that tries to kiss him each time. he grows incredibly lonely.
in time, he is suspicious of you. you're... different. during conversations, you forget important details, you cannot recall milestones or memories you used to cherish.
the way your palm fits oddly into his, the way you no longer brush his hair back when it falls into his eyes. you call him jacaerys, or your grace - that, indeed, is the first seed planted in the suspicion of his mind. always jacaerys, never jace - and when he asks you what you do with all the time you spend alone in your chambers, you lock up as if mute.
when performing certain duties around the queen, your eyes would slide to odd objects, or pay close attention to cupbearers and how the queen enjoys her wine.
and he begins tracking your walks when you think you're alone: he discovers you sending ravens with a cloak pulled low over your head, visiting odd alleys in town and disappearing into the lower bowels of peculiar shoppes.
jace goes to daemon, of all people - daemon, first. he knows his stepfather's reputation—ruthless, cunning, and fiercely protective; if anyone can help him discern the truth, it's him. "something is not right," he tells him, worried daemon would somehow turn it into something it's not.
even worse, though, is that daemon is quick to agree. and when jace tells his mother, she confesses her own concern.
"that isn't her," his voice warbled when he tells his mother - lip, trembling, tears tracking down his cheeks as she pulls him into her embrace, her own fear poorly concealed.
when it finally happens, it is a shock to his entire body.
a mere word; murmured, off-hand at a council you happened to be attending - of which you often no longer attended, your trauma and recovery from the kidnapping having sequestered you to your quarters most days.
"Usurper," he'd said.
and then your head had snapped up.
a change in your face - as if no longer human, you’d leapt, ripping out a dagger that had been concealed in your bodice.
and then you'd lunged at him; slicing like a hound rabid for a piece of meat.
he does not remember much besides his reaction: striking you across the cheek and disarming you- kicking hard, your body being thrown to the stone. four swords at your throat. daemon holding you down with a look of disbelief at your heaving frame.
you were relentless, ready to kill - but you are too small, and the rest too many.
a stinging pain, throbbing at his neck as he watches you in shock.
but that was not you - a statue, some sleeping beast that'd been awoken in your tortured brain at the trigger of such a word. it had nearly been worse than when you'd died.
brainwashed, maester gerardys tells them.
it is not until after you have been thrown into the cells below and a bandage sealed around jace's neck.
the blade was one of green and black hilt; intended, likely, for the queen herself - in hopes that she'd have been the first one to utter the word.
likely, maester gerardys says, you were led to believe you'd been abandoned by them, and subsequently tortured for all the time you'd been held at the red keep.
and of course, there was the threat of further maiming your dragon, perhaps, or other similar threats - and physical torture, if the scars on your body are anything to go by; this twists a raw agony in jace's gut and he has to shut his eyes to ward off the thought of you, in pain.
it is a miracle you did not lose your head for nearly slitting the throat of the crown prince; he contests while still lying abed with the open slice of red across his throat, relieved when his mother informs him you are still among the living. she is a merciful queen.
he does not weep until he is alone that night.
breaking the brainwashing is the hardest part.
nights, falling asleep in his brothers or his mother's quarters where your screams of anguish or anger could not be heard - days walking past your heavily guarded chamber to reach his own, swallowing thick as he imagines you on the other side.
isolation is key, he's been told, but it makes it so much worse.
it takes so long that jacaerys nearly forgets what your voice sounds like, how your eyes shine in the sun. he forgets how your smile, beautiful and uneven, makes his heart flip; the taste of your lips, the cadence of your voice.
he even finds himself praying to the seven for the first time since he was just a babe.
slowly, as you begin to heal, you are permitted to see others. he is not allowed, nor is his mother - daemon first, then baela and rhaena with their grandmother. servants and maids.
he begins to hear you again. walking past the chambers which lie near his own, he'd hear your voice, conversing quietly with maester gerardys. when he dozes off over a strategy tome at his desk, he is jolted awake by your gentle, haunting humming; a tune he used to love.
his mother tells him it is not healthy to keep it in.
but he cannot bring himself to speak of it.
shame, pain, anguish, embarrassment - heartbreak. he has grieved you twice over, seen you become a ghost. he has lost you and lost you again.
herbs, potions, guided discussions and meditations. solitary confinement, exposure to the word - all of this, and you begin to shed the skin of whatever person they had made you into.
he pretends that he does not endure nightmares of that day every time his eyes close - of the glint of your knife, the soulless stare of your eyes. the swelling bruise on your cheek - in the shape of his own fist.
there is a thin scar, a puckered pink line of fresh skin across the apple of his throat the next time he sees you.
it's an accident; he walks past just as a maid leaves your chambers, and he naturally glances over. your eyes meet him, hair wet and fresh from bathing; wide as a sweet doe, pain and regret laced through your gaze. "jace."
his throat is tight when he hears your voice - gentle, laced with remorse. jace, you'd called him. he hides the tears in his eyes when he continues briskly past your chambers. he thinks about you ceaselessly the rest of the day.
he's told you do not sleep. you eat only when it becomes impossible not to, you cannot make meaningful eye contact nor hold steady conversations without breaking down in guilt. it eats away at him.
but as you begin to show signs of improvement, jacaerys is finally allowed to visit.
they're brief, supervised; he brings paintings, books, and anything they believe could help stimulate your memory of life before your change. he tries to ignore the sting of pain when you barely meet his gaze, voice stuttering, hands shaking.
you’re still not you; flickering eyes, quiet voice. but soon, after moons of quiet conversation, stunted by the armored guards standing between you and observing your every move, it changes.
little by little, he sees glimpses of you again. you laugh like you used to. you recount stories of your shared youth - with a grin, you remember the day he'd fallen from an apple tree trying to pick you a fruit, and you'd had to snap his arm into correct place.
you brush flecks of dust and lint from his shoulder with shy looks, you share the books you’ve been reading; one day, you ask him to braid your hair - a task you'd taught him in youth. you fall asleep when he's halfway through.
and yes, there are bad days - days where your grief and guilt eat your stomach and you refuse to even look him in the eye; when you sob into your hands and curl yourself on the chaise longue and jace is stuck, heartbroken, watching you push him away.
you do not forgive yourself, you will not let him forgive you - but you soon let him hold you, and you soon begin to hold him back with a desperate grip.
it takes a while for jace to accept help.
but soon, he undergoes his own healing process; he knows he must reconcile the grief of losing you with the joy of having you back, albeit changed.
eventually, he speaks openly with you about the death of lucerys and about your own assumed death as well. you stroke his hair when he cries into your chest, you kiss his nose and cheeks to rid the tracks of tears.
during quieter moments, you find solace in each other's presence. you walk together in the gardens, hand in hand, your steps in sync as you talk about the future; you sit by the hearth in the evenings, your heads close as you share whispered conversations and stolen glances.
you broach the subject one stormy day, your beautiful hair loose and whipping around your head.
he watches your mind churn behind those eyes, the ones that have regained their expressive nature - the eyes he's loved since before he knew such a word.
"i would have killed you." it's a whisper into the wind. "and yet, you saved my life."
your voice is not grateful - to his horror, it is pained - as if you believe such repentance could only be achieved through greeting the stranger.
he shakes his head, "it was not you who did it." but you've heard it countless times, and you still find it hard to accept - guilt swims in your beautiful eyes.
"i love you." he whispers it.
tears drop from your eyes as you look at him. "why?"
eventually, the fog clears fully.
you remember the details of your manipulation, the torture, the indoctrinating, the conditioning. you confess it all to queen rhaenyra and the dragonstone court - voice shaking and body bent with shame, you apologize for your weakness. jace has to look away when you begin to cry, when you beg for forgiveness, for another chance.
it is given without hesitance.
one evening, you sit by the fire with him.
something upon him catches your eye; with a tentative reach, your fingers brush his chest. jace looks down, breath catching as he realizes what you've found; gently, you pull the necklace from his tunic - a ring upon it, untarnished. your smile is sad, sorrowful - "you kept it," you whisper.
he can only nod, eyes never leaving yours. "i never took it off."
it is that night you tell him about a dream you had; you were both young again, carefree and in love. his eyes glisten with unshed tears just as yours do, and he takes your hand, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "we'll get there," he promises, his voice unwavering. you both believe it.
you come back to him in ways he doesn't expect.
longing glances, eyes holding on his lips when he speaks to you - short teases that release your sharp tongue and quick wit. you are given some old duties back. kept to the castle, you mostly held draw efforts from within, but he can see the fire in your eyes return as the guilt subsides.
when the word usurper is accidentally used in conversation, eyes still flicker to you. there will remain wariness - conscious or not - for the rest of your days. but you prove yourself loyal and trustworthy, and you soon begin to forgive yourself.
nights you spend in jace's arms, fingers brushing against the scar you'd given him. tears are replaced with soft kisses upon lips, and eventually upon flushed, sweat-laced skin.
he is terrified each time you ride into battle - even when he and vermax are alongside you.
perhaps it is a weakness - to worry so, during a war; he cannot help it. but to his relief, you always come out unscathed, as does he - and you always slide off the wing of your dragon and pull him to you, murmuring into his neck, soothing over his back with your palm once you return.
you love him, and you tell him as much any chance you get. you begin to stop wincing when he tells you he loves you, too.
you still wake sometimes with a hoarse throat, but now you are soothed back to sleep when jace, bleary eyed and heart pounding, crawls into your bed alongside you. your cries turn into soft puffs of breath as he braids your hair until you fall asleep.
you still sometimes flinch when someone raises a hand, jace sometimes watches with wariness when he sees you wielding a knife.
but eventually the war ends.
you and jace marry.
a traditional, valyrian one; dragonglass sliced into lips, palms. a kiss that tastes of metal, of loyalty, of love. you whisper the words to each other, no echo of ghosts nor fear in your minds.
one flesh, one heart, one soul. now and forever.
you become prince and princess of dragonstone, first in line for the succession to the iron throne.
you show to be just rulers; fair and kind, strong willed and bright. ceaselessly, fiercely in love.
your firstborn son is named lucerys.
he has jace's eyes and your hair. you sing him the song jace remembers you humming those days after you came back to them - and when the queen visits to give her congratulations and to meet her grandbabe, the heir to the heir, she calls you daughter.
the scar upon his neck fades away, until you can scarcely trace it with your finger as he pulls you to him in the late hours of eve, wrapped in furs and the soft flicker of candlelight.
you do not hear the word usurper again.
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requests open, or talk to me <3 taglist/mutuals; @bitchydragonparadisee @lukehughes43 @rhea-ripley @jottositto @chloe-petrichors @softspiderling @dipperscavern
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munsonify · 4 months ago
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okay you have some of the best steve harrington smut i’ve ever read first of all. and i wanted to request one where he’s like fingering the reader till she squirts while making out w her. like that’s so hot
thank you so much you’re so sweet 🥺🫵🏻 and thats so hot, there’s something about making out while being intimate that makes my brain literally melt so i love this. sorry i took so long!
pairing. steve harrington x afab!reader
warning/s. 18+ MDNI smut, established relationships, fingering, squirting, making out
word count. 189
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it was all so overwhelming.
two of steve’s long, thick fingers stuffed you full. his warm breath fanned against your face, inches away from you. dark, half lidded eyes stared into yours. his warm lips met yours, deep and passionate and needy. you’d lost count of the amount of orgasms he’d brought you to.
a coil in your stomach formed and snapped quicker than you could process. your eyes went to the back of your head, nails scraping against his shoulders until it left indents. steve’s lips were still hot and heavy against yours. he swallowed up every last high pitched noise you made.
everything about your boyfriend swallows you whole. his lips, his arms, his hair, his scent. everything consumed you. that’s why you hadn’t noticed how soaked your thighs were. the sheets beneath you were wet, too, along with steve’s huge hand. that, and his deep voice praising you, is what brought you down to earth.
you felt steve’s hands carefully caress your thighs, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered one last thing to you before cleaning you up.
“such a perfect girl f’me.”
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taglist: @songbirdofthenight
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sabsturned · 4 months ago
Text
M. Sturniolo - Three Doors Down
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SEE PINNED POST FOR NAVIGATION
comment on this post to be added to my taglist :-)
pairing: matt x fem!reader
contains: angst, mentions of a drinking and smoking parent, crying
summary: you and matt used to be best friends. you were closer to him than anyone else you know, and you’ve always secretly had a crush on him. the day you told him, you guys stopped talking. tonight was prom night, and you had no guys or even friends to go with. all you could do was sit in the corner and watch him dance with his girlfriend, sofia.
a/n: first fic!!! i’m rlly excited about this one. it’s based off of the song ‘three doors down’ by joy. this was my shit in 2022 and i don’t get why it wasn’t talked about more. ALSO I HAVE A QUESTION: what are anons??? also please leave requests for fics!! i’m literally out of ideas. THATS IT!! enjoy the fic :))
key: matt y/n sofia
and i’m in the corner
dying of boredom
catching light from the shine
of his girlfriend’s tiara
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me and matt were best friends. me and the boy three doors down. i mean, the best word to describe us was inseparable. we hung out all the time—at school, at home, over the weekends, at parties—everywhere i went, he went, and everywhere he went, i went.
it started when we were both eight years old. i was trying to avoid my mom at all costs because when she drank, she got mean. i went outside, picking all the small white flowers out of the ground. maybe if i gave my mom flowers, she would cheer up, and she wouldn’t hurt me. at least that’s what i thought.
i picked a yellow dandelion, adding it to my bouquet of flowers when i saw a boy around my age riding on a skateboard. he was riding it on circles in his driveway. suddenly the only thing my eyes were looking at was his curly brunette hair. his eyes were a beautiful color of blue. not as deep as an ocean, but not as light as the sky. all i knew was that they were perfect and they consumed me. his cheeks were a shade of red, probably because of the humidity. i’ll never forget the way he looked at me for the first time; the way his eyes lit up, the way his smile widened, showing off the dimple on his left cheek, the way the world around us faded.
his hand slowly moved up, waving at me. my smile grew. i waved back.
whenever my mom started drinking, i just went outside, where he was every afternoon on his skateboard. he tried teaching me to ride it, but i wasn’t very good. we played in his backyard with his brothers and their dog, trevor. sometimes they brought out their sprinkler on a really hot day, and we all just played like kids. i would give anything to be a kid with them again.
when we were in the same homeroom for third grade, we were both ecstatic. we were always partners in group work, always played together at recess, always ate together at lunch. everybody always made fun of us, and assumed we were dating or something. but we didn’t care.
everything was perfect. up until eighth grade. ever since me and matt met, i’ve always kind of liked him. i never really had the courage to tell him, up until the day before our eighth grade dance.
i confessed my feelings for him. i didn’t say much really. i just told him i liked him and asked if he wanted to go on a date. but i don’t think he felt the same.
he said he was busy.
all contact was cut after that. no more late night calls, no more weekend sleepovers, no more study sessions after school.
and it’s all my fault. i ruined everything. if i wouldn’t have said all of that, we wouldn’t have been here. we would have still been friends. we would have gone to prom together. we would have been falling asleep on call together. we would have still been as inseparable as we were when we were kids.
all of this was my fault.
now i’m at prom. the speakers blasted a pop song i don’t know the name of. all of the kids in the room were dancing, jumping around, making out in the bathroom, but i was sitting in the corner.
i would have gone home, but i was trying to avoid being near my mom at all costs. so i was just there, dying of boredom.
i caught a glimpse of her tiara. the plastic gems glistened in the dim light of the room. how was sofia able to wear cheap plastic on her head and still manage to look absolutely beautiful.
i’m so jealous of sofia. she’s a cheerleader. she’s skinny, she’s pretty, she won prom queen, and worst of all, she was matt’s girlfriend. we have had some interactions before, and i hate talking about her negatively because she is so incredibly sweet. like i’ve never met a popular girl so nice. it made it harder to hate her the way i wanted to.
her silky straight hair ran down her back, and her wide smile could light up a whole room. her dress was fabulous too. it was a really pretty shade of lavender, and it was sparkly. it complimented her figure so well. i mean, she looked like an absolute goddess.
her hands were wrapped around matt’s neck as they danced to the slow music playing. it hurt so bad. i should be over matt by now, i mean, it’s been four years. but i wasn’t over him. i wasn’t over his curly brunette hair, his beautiful blue eyes, the dimple that appeared on his left cheek whenever he would smile. i wasn’t over our late night phone calls, our weekend sleepovers, our study sessions after school. i wasn’t over him. and i never would be.
watching them dance together made me sick. the eye contact, how touchy they were. i decided to go get some punch to distract myself. i wanted to go home so bad, but a broken heart was less noticeable than the burn mark of a cigarette.
the loud music drowned out the sound of the punch splashing into the red cup. i turned around to go back to the corner i was sitting in, when a tall figure bumped into me. thankfully, i didn’t spill any punch on my dress.
“oh, sorry. i should have been watching where i was-“ my breathing stopped when i realized who i had just bumped into. his curly brunette hair, his beautiful blue eyes. matt.
“that’s alright-“ he stopped talking when he saw me. “oh, um, hey.” he said, one hand rubbing the back of his neck.
“hi.” i responded.
“you look.. amazing.” he complimented.
“oh, thanks. you too.”
“are you having fun?” no. not when she’s the one you’re dancing with. not when i’m still thinking about you even after all these years.
“yeah, just hanging out with my friends. a night to remember.” i lied.
“yeah.” he laughed.
there was a moment of silence where we just looked at each other. the first time i’ve looked in his beautiful blue eyes in years. the first time we’ve had an interaction in years.
“hey baby, they’re playing my favorite, c’mon!” sofia ran over, grabbing chris by the arm, giving me a small wave before dragging him back to the dance floor.
“nice seeing you y/n.” he voiced, before him and sofia continued dancing together.
i tried to say something back, but nothing came out. i forgot how to speak, i forgot how to breathe. before i knew it, the tears were already falling out of my eyes.
i needed to leave. thankfully, i only live a few blocks from the school, so i could just walk home. the only thing i could think about was how i just needed to be anywhere else but this school.
i shoved open the doors, walking out into the cold rain. it was pouring outside. normally, i really liked rain. me and matt used to lay in the rain together. it’s where we had our most meaningful conversations, and shared our deepest thoughts. but i wasn’t enjoying it right now. every drop felt like cupid pulling an arrow out of me. i rushed home as quick as i possibly could, the rain soaking my hair, and the tears rushing down my face. i actually couldn’t even tell if i was crying anymore. the rain made it hard to tell.
i was able to sneak past my mom so she wouldn’t see i went out. i ran up the stairs and into my room, quietly shutting the door behind me. i let out loud sobs into my hands, my rain soaked body dripping rain into a puddle beneath me. i looked up and saw the picture we made in fourth grade art class together, my sobs growing louder. i looked next to it. a signed baseball from a game we went to together sat on the shelf, along with a scrapbook of our seventh grade summer. suddenly, my room was filled with memories of us. i need to destroy it all.
i took the canvas off of the wall, grabbing my scissors and stabbing it until you couldn’t see the picture anymore. i took the scrapbook off of the shelf, ripping out the pages, cutting them into small pieces. i grabbed the baseball, opened my window, and threw it. i didn’t see where it landed. i was just glad it was out of my sight. i ripped the cards and gifts he made me for my birthdays, and christmas, and valentine’s day, ripping and cutting them up. then the stuffed bear he got me. my favorite animal. i cut that open, ripping out the stuffing. until nothing else was left. i sighed, my sobs growing louder.
i looked down and noticed my heels, stained with punch. the rain should have washed it off. the punch reminded me of him. i must have missed when it fell out of my cup and onto my shoes. i kicked them off, throwing them under my bed.
i looked down at my dress, noticing the color of it. it was the same shade of blue as his eyes. his beautiful blue eyes. i groaned out loud, ripping my dress off and throwing it in my closet. everything reminded me of him. the clothes i wore when we hung out, the sheets we laid in, the desk he sat at while we talked for hours, the rug we sat on when we played board games, the floor, the walls, the ceiling, the window, everything. it was like he was a memory that i couldn’t get rid of.
but maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. maybe we aren’t meant to have late night phone calls. maybe we aren’t meant to have weekend sleepovers. maybe we aren’t meant to have study sessions after school. maybe we just aren’t meant to be. maybe he belongs with sofia. maybe we aren’t supposed to be together, me and the boy three doors down.
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angst is one of my favorite things to write. it’s so therapeutic to me. so i hope you enjoyed this and please give me your feedback in the comments! :D
- thanks for reading!! with love, sabrina 🤍🎀
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cowboy-robooty · 1 year ago
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im sorry i never interact wif anybody ever on this webbed site its bc im always eating shit and i never check my notifications. i see shit on mai dash from people i followed when i was 11 and reblog the funnies and unfollow the lame posts and das it. robooty is not checkin the itager tag literally ever
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