#thats like a ten hour flight

[thebisexualwreckoning]

i am at that point in my life in which I'm drinking orange juice out of a wine glass at 4:30 in the morning because moving sucks ass

[triglycercule]

im on vacation how can i make this about the murder time trio. mtt fresh out of a flight and the minute that they leave the airport dust stops horror and killer for the smoke break. because being around a smoker is like that. and while horror is dying and coughing from the cigarette smoke and killer is pretend coughing to make dust feel terrible theyre both simultaneously roasting the shit out of dust for being such an addict smoker. cancer speedrun GO says horror. refreshing his signature smell says killer. dust just glares at them and blows smoke in their face (horror literally takes damage he's at 0.7 HP)

[wileys-russo]

ausenal ‘can you just not sit still?’ travelling to London

steph catley, caitlin foord, kyra cooney-cross

"one two three four, i declare a thumb war!" you chanted, hand locked with kyras as the two of you grunted and struggled. "oh my god." steph mumbled, massaging her temples as the four of you sat in dubai airport for your layover.

"how the fuck are the two of you not tired? you did not shut up or sleep that entire flight!" caitlin groaned from beside her, head resting on her fist as you and kyra ignored them.

"winner!" you screamed happily, jumping on top of the brunette. "ow! steph." you scowled as the defender harshly smacked the back of your calf. "its four thirty in the morning here and people are clearly trying to rest. shut up!" the girl warned sternly nodding to a few other passengers curled up in chairs not far from you.

"that doesn't count we're on aussie time!" kyra slung her arm around you with a scoff. "yeah! and on aussie times its...eleven thirty seven in the morning." you checked your phone and grinned, steph only letting out a deep sigh.

"how much longer till we board?" she mumbled to caitlin. "four and a half hours." the striker answered with a sigh of her own. "we could always drug them, i'm sure theres a pharmacy somewhere in here." steph muttered, both girls seeming to contemplate the idea for a moment before abandoning it with a shake of their heads.

"oh i have cards! lets play." you remembered, swinging your backpack off and rummaging through before you found them, kyra sitting cross legged on the floor beside you.

"come on!" you pinched stephs ankle as she jolted awake and shot you a glare. "works best with four people." you shook the packet at her as kyra had successfully harassed caitlin into playing.

"one game, thats it."

though with all four of your competitive tendencies kicking in, one game quickly became five, and then ten. steph tapping out as they announced your connecting flight was delayed a further three and a half hours due to an engine issue.

"oh you've gotta be fucking kidding." caitlin groaned, you and kyra quite unbothered as you packed away the cards. "ky and i are gonna go find food." you dropped your backpack on top of steph who grunted and pushed it off with an annoyed huff, the two of you racing off before she could say another word.

"do you reckon they accept aussie dollars?" kyra realised as the two of you stood in front of a vending machine, all of the food kiosks closed for another hour due to the time. "no but they should accept this." you grinned plucking your debit card out of your pocket.

"what! i thought steph took yours? caitlins got mine." kyra groaned, the two of you having had your 'pocket money' privileges revoked after you'd decided to buy out basically the entire vending machine at camp, most of which was shared with harper and harley and caused a sugar high chaos.

"sticky fingers ky, sticky fingers." you smirked, having swiped it out of stephs wallet when she was distracted. "oh like in home alone! the sticky bandits." kyra beamed, having admitted to never having seen the movie you'd forced her to watch a whole stack of christmas films over camp.

"see! and you thought you didn't need a christmas movie education."

"jesus christ we're here for a few more hours not a few days!" caitlin shook her head as you and kyra returned, arms laden with all sorts of treats both sweet and savory. "you are not eating anything that has sugar in it before the flight, over my dead body." steph warned sternly, making quick work to try and snatch everything she deemed a danger.

little did they know you and kyra had assumed this would be the case, the majority of the sweet treats hidden away in pockets, kyras bum bag or on your persons.

"do we stop them?" caitlin sighed, wedged into the chair beside steph as you and kyra took off again to explore. "no, if they run off their energy now maybe they'll actually sleep this next flight." steph pointed out, hopeful but realistic that likely wouldn't happen.

so they left the two of you to it, grateful you'd finally left them be much as they worried what the two of you were up to, the last thing they needed was to have to bail you out of trouble with security in another country let alone in dubai.

"where the hell are they? the flight boards in five minutes!" steph stressed, trying both of your phones again which rang out. those five minutes passed, then another ten, and with seconds to spare before they considered just leaving the two of you behind suddenly you and kyra skidded around the corner into view.

"sorry! we got lost and then kyra-" you started to explain but with a murderous look from both your older team mates you fell silent, accepting your bag which was shoved into your chest and silently filing onto the plane after them.

"no! you two are being separated." steph warned as you tried to sit beside kyra, frowning and moving the seat behind so you were next to steph instead.

getting through takeoff both you and kyra were quiet, steph and caitlin both praying that meant you had indeed tired yourselves out. but as the seatbelt sign went off and steph had just started to doze off she heard you moving about, tossing and turning and huffing.

"can you just not sit still?" the defender groaned tiredly, head turning to shoot you a look as you sent her a sheepish smile. "i'm not tired!" you shrugged honestly. "watch a movie or something then, just be quiet. please!" the older girl sighed deeply as you nodded.

it seemed to have worked as steph began to doze off, but the very obvious opening of a packet of something caused her to shoot back up, catching you in the act of shoving a chocolate bar in your mouth.

"give it." steph warned, holding her hand out as you sighed and handed it over. "all of them." the girl shot you a firm look as you deflated and grabbed out the bag, watching with a broken heart as steph hid them away in her own luggage.

"you know steffy you are the worst travel buddy ever." "funny, could say the exact same about you kid. now be quiet, please!"

[s1llyalabaster]

ignore how im a hsr blog for ONE SECOND I HAVE DANGANRONPA THOUGHTS

imagine if the danganronpa games worked like the squid game where they get invitations to participate in the killing game??? MAJOR SPOILERS!!!!! FOR DRV3!!!!!

in drthh it was mentioned that talents get scouted to the school so this could be weird BUT i wanna focus on drv3 (mainly beacause ive been playing it recently instead of hsr)

so the dr team wants to find someone to write the script , they find tsumugi at an anime convention and go "hey, you're a cosplayer, right? wanna take part in producing dr?" and thats how she gets dumped into the killing game

(fictional world UTC)

and after kaede's piano competition, she finds a little invitation note slipped under the trophy she had just won.

and when shuichi steps out of the tapes blocking the crime scene him and his uncle was investigating , his foot sticks to not only a lingering piece of tape, but an invitation letter.

and when ryoma's lunch gets carelessly tossed into the cell, he shoves the food down before finding a note to "escape" to a place far worse than prison.

and when kirumi's client, almost fearfully , hands her a letter, then uncharacteristically slamming the door to his ministerial office shut with all his trembling hands' might.

and when angie bends down after dropping her paintbrush, both her and atua are shocked to find that an invitation to the killing game had been pinned to the canvas.

and when tenko slams another "degenerate male" to the ground for robbing a girl. she couldn't resist taking a peek at the invitation slip that fell out of his back pocket, and was undoubtedly surprised when she found her named addressed on the letter.

and when korekiyo presses one final kiss to his dying sister's lips, he looks at her bedside table to find nothing but one delicately wrapped letter, with paper and ink to his liking. this was bound to be interesting.

and when miu was inventing yet another one of her wacky creations, she pulled off her protective eyegoggles to find said machine uncontrlollably spewing out uncountable amounts of letters, almost harry potter-esque.

and when gonta caresses one of his tens of hundreds of bugs in a glass case (with breathing holes, of course), a paper butterfly lands on his broad shoulder and "open says me", an invitation.

and when kokichi and his "gang" are running away from overworked convenience store cashiers over stolen candy, he trips over a piece of candy, the wrapper unfolding itself to reveal an invitation.

and when kaito forges another document to hand in to some space-related organisation, he finds a slip of paper that stuck out from the pile . Man, I guess he thinks he's going to space.

and when keebo first opened his eyes to see the world that humans reigned over, coordinates and words flashed before his eyes, he knew where he was going to be.

for rantaro, if he was the ultimate adventurer, then after he'd landed from another 18-hour-long flight, a flight attendant would sneakily pass a letter to him, looking as if he was at gunpoint.

[logorrhea5mip]

How lovecraftian would we seem to machine life

Imagine that there exists a planet populated entirely by mechanical life, where "plants" are power stations and ore harvesters, where creatures have motors for muscles and iron rods for bones.

Imagine then an intelligent alien of this world coming to Earth. When analyzing our life, they think of discrete components, parts doing their jobs in obvious ways. And there are some, bones obviously provide support and joints act like hinges and...

What the f are all those bags of slime doing in the center of the body? Where is the motor, the wires, the sensors? WHY IS IT SO WET?

Our alien scientist might then pull out a microscope to examine a piece of tissue. First they see the larger structure, the blood vessels, the nerves, the blobs of fat. This doesn't explain anything. Then they may see cells, and this is where the horror starts. Cells are small, unbelivably small. The smallest component in an average electromotor is a wire which forms the armature. The average wire is 30 cells wide. What could a thing that small possibly do?

At the current zoom level the cell just has some stuff floating in it, moves a bit, and thats about it. And then, one of them starts twitching, moving about, and splits.

How? Why? What? After many hours of high power microscopy and chemical analysis, the alien figures out what the cells do and how: they are a bag of goop, with other smaller bags of goop in it. It lives, and grows, and does its job as long as the surrounding fluid has the right chemicals and gasses and temperature. And in it, lives The Dance.

The Dancers are myriad. Their shapes are more diverse than entire ecosystems back home, their form ever changing. There are small dancers, of mere dozen or so atoms. They run and spin and collide wildly, their moves ruled only by the mad forces of entropy and chance.

Then the larger dancers assemble. They form and break and form constantly, mostly in special places when many come to become one, where form and shape are copied and translated and changed. The dance of the larger dancers is still wild, the tumblings of a hot solution slamming them into each other many tines a second, and only sometimes do they actually merge, or change one another, or split apart like a dandelion being blown apart in the wind.

Tens of thousands of dancers dance, and they in the dance build and move and change, playing with chemistry itself as a hyperactive toddler plays with his toys. And all this madness, guides the wet, pulsating blobs of hot goo, and they form structures ever larger, until a bird takes flight, or a plant opens its flower.

The life of this world is a dance, one designed by madmen, one which can move and think and see and hear and live...

And the dancers dance into the dark, ever more chaotic, until all form and rules are forgotten and the music stops and the last dancer turns off the lights, to wait until they are eaten or drunk or breathed in, and the dance once more returns.

[thewritingofspencerrose]

masterlist

so this ended up a LOT longer than expected...

based on the first race of the 2024 season where Max's lead was... unbelievable at best

enjoy!

"Charlie, please."

"I cant be here when he gets back, Cherie, I-," And I can hear everything he is feeling in this one sigh. "He was more than 20 seconds ahead of me today, ahead of everyone."

"You know thats not-"

"Not what? Not what he meant to do? It's his job to drive, but it's not his job to be ahead of even his teammate by ten seconds and to then go for the fastest lap, for that one point that he won't need to end the season," Charlie just shakes his head, entire body tense and eyes glassy as he pulls the zipper of his suit case.

"Charlie-" I want to cry. This isn't how we wanted to start the season, Charles not even being able to be in the same room as Max. "I'm not going to let you go unless I know you have a plan."

The tears start to fall as I blink, slowly trailing down my cheeks with the same pace of Charles steps towards me, bag dragging along.

"I will go to Jeddah early as planned, but on my own, not on his plane," He explains quietly, pads of his thumbs wiping over my cheeks. "You are welcome to come with me-"

"He would think we left him," I can't help but interrupt, feeling like my heart is tearing. "He can't handle that, he's just getting to a good place."

And he sighs again, because he knows we can't both leave him.

He'd never recover.

"You stay here then, and I will see you in a couple days," He agrees, smiling sadly before leaning in and kissing the tip of my nose. "But I have to go before he gets back."

"Char-"

"Mon ange," He says this time, voice strict and I know for sure now that there is no changing his mind.

"I love you, please text me when you get to the airport," I request, pulling him into my arms and resting my head against his chest before pulling away, staying close as he leans down and presses his lips to my own. "We'll figure this out, just go take your time."

"Je vous aime," He purrs, kissing me one more time before walking towards the door, hand on the handle.

"Charles, you can't leave before I say it back," I remind, tears still streaming but a small smile on both our faces. Pausing for a moment, he just chuckles at my theatrics.

"So?"

"I love you too."

"Schatje? Liefje?" Max's tired voice reaches my ears an hour later, smelling of champagne and having a dopey smile from the joy of the day.

I love when he's like this.

And I hate what my words are about to do to his positive mood.

"Hi my love," I greet with a small smile, having already changed into the hoodie that Lando had gotten me for the boys and my anniversary, split down the center of Redbull and Ferrari.

"Charles in the shower?" Is his question as he leans down to kiss my cheek, "I wanted to check on him, he seemed upset after the race."

Oh God.

"About that," Is how I begin, his hands smoothing down my body and onto my hips, applying just the slightest bit of pressure. "Charlie took an earlier flight. He should be landing in Jeddah soon."

There's the drop of his expression that I didn't want to see.

"What? We were all meant to fly out tomorrow morning on my plane, weren't we? Did something change?"

"He- he's not handling Redbull's performance well," Is the most gentle way I can think to deliver the news, wrapping my arms around his neck, playing with the short pieces of hair at the bottom of his neck.

But he's unwrapping my wrists from his neck, taking a large step back as his entire face freezes over. "He left because he was jealous?"

"He wasn't-"

"You just said that he wasn't handling our performance well. Redbull's. My performance. So he left," Max states, and the usual care that's in his voice when he talks about Charles is gone. While I'm aware it's only momentary, we've been through so much worse for this to be longer than that.

But his eyes are cold, and it's as though I can physically see him withdrawing into himself, into that man the media believes him to be.

Strong. Cold. Unbreakable.

And I can't help but hate it.

This isn't Max, it's the walls he builds.

Fucking Jos Verstappen.

He's moving again before I can even say anything, "Pack up your stuff. Als hij zich als een kind wil gedragen en weg wil rennen, dan zullen we hem als een ouder achtervolgen (if he wants to act as a child and run away, then we will chase him down like a parent)," He grumbles, tossing clothes back into his suitcase.

"I have no idea what you just said, but okay, we can pack up."

"Mamma?" Max can hear her voice, but not see her.

Oh... She's hiding in his plane's bathroom. On the phone. Why?

"Mamma, I don't know how to fix it this time," Her sobs seep through the walls. "I know Max doesn't mean to be so far ahead, but Charles can't handle being torn down by the man he loves for another season. I had just gotten Charlie back up to his confidence before last season."

"Max can't stop from winning, but I can't help Charlie when he needs it. We promised Max we would never leave him and Charles left."

"We're on our way to Charles now. I just can't see watch them fight again, Mamma. My heart can't take it."

All Max can think is one thing.

What are they doing to her?

"Charles, open the door."

My hearts pounding, I should have taken more of my anxiety medication.

Or gotten high.

No... I haven't done that since college.

But I can't take this.

"Charlie," I can feel the lump in my throat as I say his name, "Please."

It takes a few moments, longer than I was hoping and enough for me to worry he may never open the door, before he does, his arms encompassing me before I even get a word out.

"Mon amour," He breathes out, pulling away enough to wipe the tears I hadn't noticed falling, my hands taking hold of his hoodie. Max's hoodie. "Please don't cry."

"Schatje?" Max's voice is soft, his tone as if he's afraid he's going to spook a deer.

Charles body tenses around my own, but he does move us further into the room, allowing Max to enter and close the door, laying our bags to the side.

"Can we please talk?"

"I left early to avoid talking."

"Charlie-"

"Mon -"

"If you two do can not talk this out like to people in a relationship, I'm going to stay with my mother."

That achieves both of their attention.

"Vous êtes quoi? (you're what?)"

"Je bent wat? (you're what?)"

"We shouldn't be in a relationship if we're unable to talk about our issues," I explain as I sit on the end of the bed. "Two and a half years in you would think we'd be better at this," my hands meeting my face.

"Charles," my eyes don't open, but I can hear the desperation which prompts me to peek. And when I do I want to continue my cry from the plane.

Charles has taken a seat on the side of the bed, Max holding his face as he kneels in front of him.

"You know I have no control over the team's differences in abilities. But I do play a part in how you feel. And I do know we both love her, and each other, too much to not talk this through."

"Mad Max Verstappen, are you being emotional?" Charlie questions, earning my full attention.

He's smiling, they both are, and they're both teary eyed.

And I throw myself on top of Charles back, toppling the both of us into Max and onto the floor.

"There's my boys."

[whilomm]

these are claims from a different whistleblower than the one that was totally not murdered by boeing

(disclaimer, im not an expert and this article doesnt go into a ton of detail on the specific issues, so i could be a lil off, these are very much non-expert speculation rambles. anyone who understands better, feel free to correct me/add more deets).

if im reading it right these claims get into the way boeing has been outsourcing more and more manufacturing of parts to other companies, such as for the fuselage (the plane body as a whole, big tube u sit in). if those parts dont quite fit together right (and keep in mind the margins of error on these things can be VERY small in some cases, though im not sure exactly how much wiggle room they got here), that can lead to too much stress on certain parts.

like, for example, if one part of the fuselage is just baaaarely too big for the next part it connects to, it might all seem to fit together perfectly fine, but every time it takes off and lands or goes thru compression cycles (that is when they take off and land, going from low pressure-high pressure-low pressure), it just puts a BIT too much pressure on where they join. and over the years, that pressure just adds up until theres microscopic stress fractures, which become slightly larger stress fractures, until they get big enough that once a plane reaches a high enough altitude theres a midair disentegration, which is. exactly as bad as it sounds.

(sidenote: compression cycles can be more important for determining an airplanes lifespan than flight hours. the usual metaphor is bending a paperclip back and forth until it breaks, how many times can you bend it before metal fatigue sets in and it just snaps. holding it in a more bent position however will take a lot longer to snap it generally.)

now to be clear, every single plane has an intended service life, and its well known that planes can only take so many compression cycles before they start to get really hard to maintain without going kablooey. a plane may be rated for like, idk, 50k compression cycles (so, taking off and landing 50k times before its retired, because after that its no longer worth the maintenance vs just making a new plane). but if it turns out that plane has some flaw in its build that means itll develop fatal stress factures at only 20k cycles, well. thats bad. not sure exactly how the schedule on looking for stress factures looks like for maintenece crews (do they do it regularly for all planes on a set schedule? do they only do it occasionally for new planes, and start to ramp up checks as the plane gets older? dunno!) but well. generally speaking, a plane having a fatal flaw that gives it an explosive midlife crisis is Bad. i would hope theyd catch it! but i dont know enough about the deets of fuselage maintenence to know the specifics.

and OH YAY COMPOSITE MATERIALS. now, before anyone gets too freaked out thinking about the uh. submarine. use of composite materials is actually far more common on planes than on subs for a buncha reasons. one, planes just generally undergo a lot less in terms of pressure (that futurama joke, "this spaceship can handle between one and zero atmospheres", vs subs that have to deal with tens to potentially hundreds of atmospheres) but also because apparently, for complicated material engineering reasons, composite materials work much better under tension (high pressure INSIDE pushing OUT, like airplane) than under compression (high pressure OUTSIDE pushing IN, like submarine). heres a vid from someone who wrote their masters on composite materials under compression if you wanna hear from someone slightly smarter on the subject. im not gonna pretend like i understand the full deets, but "composites do OKAY with tension" is enough for me, go read the fancy scientific papers if you want more.

now, so that people do freak out at least a little bit: hm. dont like that they are using Way More Composite Than Usual on this plane. how much is the usual? idk, i assume composites are much more popular with low altitude small aircraft (bc well, weight and less pressure worries), dunno whats considered normal for high altitude longhaul crafts. but, apparently, the dreamliner is "more than usual". which, yeah cool, lighter weight airplanes use less fuel which is better for longhaul flights. is it. well tested enough though???

...anyway. im not an engineer, idk the full Deets, but well. havin lotsa fun hearing the engineers talk about how the parts of the giant metal skybirds dont fit together quite right and theyre using materials that fail more catastrophically than metal with less warning, experimentally, and we dont quiiiite have the data to know if. its a problem. thats really fun! LOVE hearing about how much theyre outsourcing parts, given how bad quality control of things as tiny as the titanium in some bolts or a little bit of the engine blades being not properly vacuum forged has lead to catastrophic failure in the past, and knowing how important sourcing of parts in airplanes is. all VERY yay!

[lizpaige]

For the snippet ask 💕💕💕 👀 but bonus if it’s not an NSFW place.😘

thanks for the aaaask!! if its pynch its gotta be hands. no nsfw under the cut. more sleepy Adam cause thats the vibe today apparently. 💕 kissing somewhere other than lips Send me a heart prompt!

Ronan was still amazed that Adam could sleep through this much chaos. They were on a flight back to Virginia, going to the Barns for the holidays to meet everyone - Declan, Jordan, Hennessy, Matthew, and even Blue, Gansey, and Henry. About ten seconds after they boarded, Adam put his cheek on Ronan’s shoulder and fell asleep. About three hours into the flight, Ronan managed to wedge the hood of his sweatshirt beneath Adam’s head to give him a bit more cushion. He was normally bored out of his mind on flights, knee bouncing up and down, flipping through channels on the grainy television on the back of the seat in front of him, draining the battery on his phone, desperate for some stimulation. But Adam grounded him, he always did, and even just this little contact held him still. 

He threaded their fingers together on the arm rest between them, had silently thanked the flight attendants for their whispered questions so as not to disturb Adam, but nothing did. Not the crying baby ten rows back, not the multiple rounds from the flight attendants, not the hour of turbulence or the announcements from the pilot, not even the in cabin lights turning on and the chaos of getting ready to land. 

As they descended, Ronan squeezed Adam’s hand, lifted their joined hands to his lips and kissed his palm, his wrist, his thumb. 

Adam inhaled deeply as he came awake, leaning back and stretching with his eyes closed, but he kept their hands joined, giving Ronan’s a squeeze. 

“How much longer?” he mumbled, his thick as honey Henrietta accent always around when he just woke up. 

“Ten minutes,” Ronan said, smiling at Adam’s confused expression. “You slept the whole flight.”

“What?” Adam rubbed his temple, squinted down at his watch - the dreamt one that Ronan gifted him all those years ago, which adapted to their new timezone seamlessly. “Are you serious?” he asked, but it sounded more like aryoosrsh when it was sandwiched between a yawn and another stretch. 

“Yep,” Ronan said, ruffling the hair on the right side of Adam’s head that was pressed flat from resting on Ronan’s shoulder for six hours. “Good dreams?” 

Adam leaned his cheek into Ronan’s palm, eyes closing again as if he were going to fall asleep just like that. He sighed happily, smiled, and nodded. “Yeah, good dreams.”

[todayisafridaynight]

NOOOO RIGHT 'CAUSE LIKE... the way the Arakawa Family specialize in faking deaths already, I'm sure Jo was so on top of everything. And who better to walk Masato through it right... flight's the perfect time to get started if it's gonna take like fourteen hours...

BUT YES. YEAH. Like The Day Of he's just paralyzed with worry and caught between wanting to do something and not wanting to go against Aoki... maybe at most he chances calling Arakawa telling him to be careful, because that's not too conspicuous given his role in the dissolution, but Arakawa just gives him the old I'll Be Fine Worry About Yourself... and, you know, why shouldn't he; they've always had their enemies and he's Arakawa the Assassin, he can handle himself... he can let himself have that fleeting hope, but deep down... and THEN he finds out and has to act like he didn't mean anything to him and has to go back to his duties like nothing happened... OUGH

Can I just say. Literally such an insane fucking series of scenes in Coin Locker Baby. Because you get Jo's despondence when he's saying he might have killed Arakawa--he's being a bitch to provoke Ichiban into a fight, but it's also an admission his inaction played a part, isn't it... and then you get him expressing that he's familiar with Ichiban's need to protect Arakawa... and then you get the sheer desperation and insistence in his voice when he says he could never kill him... and then you get--I'm not totally sure how clear it is in English--but you get him actively saying his feelings go deeper than Ichiban's without really explaining how... and then you get the tinge of fondness when he's thinking back on the old days when Arakawa lived up to his name... Like. Why Did They Do That. Any Of That.

ALSO. GOD. I've gotten so much shit the past couple days because I said I want to lock Jo, Kume, and Tendo in a room for five minutes For My Entertainment. Reading those tags felt like coming home honestly 😭 Like, even Ichi was ready to kill someone over Arakawa, and Jo was out here threatening to disembowel people [in the dub]. And I Think They Should Be Allowed To. As A Treat. So FOR REAL the biggest "I'm so glad we get to talk" 😭😭😭

On that note genuinely so funny that I took an extra ten minutes re-rendering the video because I forgot to put the "flashback" part in Arakawa's subtitles at first but then nobody read it 😭

But it's also something I've been mulling over because I'm delusional. Getting actors as high-profile as Nakai and Takei back for just A Flashback is kinda crazy to me because Arakawa and Jo's screen-time took up a full four percent of the entire game [over ten percent of the cutscenes] originally. But then if it's multiple flashbacks equivalent to that... what exactly is going on here that the past is so intertwined...

And Because My Brain Is Evil there is the fact that technically speaking, Yokoyama only said that line was from a flashback, and specified Arakawa wouldn't be appearing in the main story. Now of course a normal person would interpret that as him reassuring the audience he won't appear in any present-day scenes, but part of me was like. Oh So A Side Story Is On The Table [<- it's not it's fucking not it will not be in a million years]

JUST. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS COOKING WHY IS THE KITCHEN DOOR CLOSED WHY ARE THE WINDOWS BLACKED OUT

ANYWAYS that's enough from me for today I am [as always] glad you enjoyed One Missed Call and Kyouen, ABSOLUTE bangers

YAYA THATS WHAT IM SAYIN YOU GET IT. UNSURPRISINGLY BUT YOU GET IT ಥ▽ಥ

no but thats what i MEAN like i already was jokin with myself like 'jo and arakawa probably had A Thing right lmao' BUT THEN THE WAY JO TALKED BOUT ARAKAWA AND OBVI THE GENERAL FACT HE COULDNT KILL HIM REALLY JUST MADE ME (。・∀・??) AND REAALLLY LOOK AT EM CLOSER THE SECOND TIME AROUND like genuinely for what. it will fuck me up until i'm dead and gone SOOO unnecessary and yet they did it..

wack that people wouldnt want to see kume and tendo stuck in a room with jo like. from what i know everyone is a part of the We Hate Kume gang so. cmon. kume will be shredded into candy floss within five minutes. it'll be fun (๑❛ᴗ❛๑)

OK BUT NAKAI AND TSUTSUMI'S STATUS WAS A BIG REASON WHY I DIDNT THINK ARAKAWA NOR JO WOULD BE BACK FOR LAD8 THAT'S SO VALID TO CONSIDER THAT its that idea that just has me especially wondering what the plan is. im not expecting them to have MAJOR parts (or in arakawa's case too many flashback segments) but they MUST have a SUBSTANTIAL amount to warrant bringing them back right..

[crossedwithblue]

murphys law is real

[namjooningelsewhere]

If I Cant Have You- #2

➤ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

➤Angst: Angst (Shit Ton of it), Smut(Mature Content), Fluff.

➤Rating: 18+

➤Warning(s): Swearing, self doubts, crying,Cheating. Mentions of smut, sexual content, Lots of Yelling, Swearing, Heart break (Pretty Brutal). Taehyung is pretty heartbroken,Reader is confused. A lot of Heartbreak and angst, Sohee is a b@#$%.

➤Au: Idol au, cheating au, arranged marriage au.

➤Word Count: 6.2

➤Summary: Loving Taehyung is easy. It's easy to get lost in his adorable smile, his glimmering eyes, his saccharine words and everything that is him, Thats what your best friend told you the ten years she had been dating him. But your life turns upside down when your best friend abandons her love and your chldhood friend at the altar and out of extra ordinary circumstances instead of Sohee its you whos staring at the same pair of glimmering eyes, wearing the white gown meant for her and feeling the weight of an expensive ring on your fingers and before you know it, you say 'I do'.

➤A/N: The second part is here, Hope you guys like it. Let me know what you guys think of it. Every reblog, Every ask, Every comment is appreciated.

➤Taglist: @bri-mal , @fr0g-queen , @justmewondering-recs , @halesandy , @craving4suga , @tetesland @astoriasx @kissme-ornot, @peachytanyaaa , @deliciousdetectivestranger @christiandosworld @canarystwin @angelarin @sillydreamlandheart @laylasbunbunny @sharingcoolstuff @allorareverz @enchantaeduniverse @astoriasx @kimlineownsme @starbtslove @juju-227592 @zephyrchive @writesforbts @shydestinyyouth @tan-veee @doublebunv @brit97 @purplebeebs

➤Part One- Here

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A faint smile graced your lips as you stepped out of the airport. New York was indeed special. The air had something to it. Momentarily you had forgotten about the events of the previous day.

New York City had a calm vibe to it, even though the city was bustling to its fullest capacity, but maybe the chaos of yesterday made it look that way. You hail a cab to the address, your roommate, your classmate, and a very good friend aria sent you.

Housing in New York became a piece of cake courtesy of Aria, considering her father had some work connections which got you and her a pretty good deal.

The entirety of the fourteen-hour-long flight and just the calm afternoon had made one thing clear in your mind. Your marriage with Taehyung though unexpected was the reality now. You had stepped foot in this city to pursue your dreams and you were going to do it. Whatever happened back in Seoul was going to be staying in Seoul. And for now, you were content to leave it there.

If there was anything clear in your mind was that the ball was in Taehyung's court now, if he wanted to keep this wedding for the sake of professional reasons he was welcome to do it, if he wanted to break the thing off if or when he met Sohee and magically they patched up you would be more than happy to give him a divorce.

But what wasn't clear was the fact that if this marriage stayed, what were you supposed to do, you had decided to cross the bridge when it came. For now, you were happy to move to New York.

That's all that matters right?

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Three Days Later:

Taehyung sat in his chair while the stylist worked on him. But this time he wasn't just casually sitting there scrolling through his phone or chit-chatting with his bandmates. Usually, the chatter in the room when his bandmates got ready was enough to have the time passing by in mere seconds.

Today was different, it was different because he had to practice smiling. He was practicing radiating happiness from within him just like a newly married man should. The fans and the world knew Taehyung's story by now. They knew he had gotten married to the love of his life.

If he didn't look the happiest today, the Army would leave no stone unturned to research or do an internet graduation on why Kim Taehyung was lost and zoned out only three days after his wedding. He had to smile and act like he was genuinely happy.

The world didn't need to know Kim Taehyung was abandoned at the altar.

Taehyung had not spoken much after the wedding fiasco. He knew his band members were worried about him, only if this interview wasn't important, it would have been long rescheduled.

"Tae are you okay?" Taehyung looked at Jin with a frown, was he? Should he be okay? The smallest sparks of anger started bubbling within him.

"No. I am not. I just need to get this right."

"Get right what?"

"I just need to figure out how to act like I'm the fucking happiest man on the earth." Tae tried to smile a little more genuinely, but then the smile just kept getting watery and his eyes teary.

"You don't need to do that." Yoongi joined in the conversation with Jin and placed a hand on the younger one's shoulder. That was enough to break the dam of emotions.

"Tell me Hyung how are we supposed to explain why the fuck I am not looking happy, the minute the interview starts the first question they're gonna ask is how am I feeling now that I'm married?"

"Tae–

"No Hyung, Everything is wrong right now. What should I do?" Tae quickly wrapped his arms around his hyung waist, who just patted his head, not knowing how he was supposed to comfort his maknae.

Everybody got ready on time, and by the time the interview started, Ta ehyung was extremely thankful to Namjoon, who had made provisions for him to sit in the farthest corner from the interviewer.

"So Taehyungssi, how does it feel to be the first in the group to be married?" Taehyung scowled internally at the question. He knew this was going to be the case. He somewhere knew it was going to be a hot topic.

" He was always the most domestic one out of us, we always knew our taehyung would be the first one to get married." Namjoon took the question away smoothly, without leaving a need for taehyung to answer.

"Can we expect any more wedding announcements from you guys anytime soon? Namjoonssi we know for sure that you already have baby shoes prepared." Namjoon choked on the interviewer's questions, and the rest of the group burst out laughing at his awkwardness.

"Let it go already, in my defense those shoes were really cute. But no, at least we don't have any more wedding announcements to make. We're just happy to concentrate on our careers as of now. Rest will come with time."

The atmosphere shifted from personal questions to professional ones, and Taehyung could breathe in peace. The difficult time was over and now all he had to do was put up his professional voice and answer the questions which he already was a pro at.

The rest of the interview went smoothly, but another hell was waiting to be unleashed. The moment Taehyung entered hybe after wrapping up his schedule, all hell broke loose when all the staff at the company started congratulating him on his wedding.

Taehyung turned blank at all the happy smiles of the people around him. Fortunately, Jimin and Jungkook, and Hobi took the hint and pulled him away under the excuse of some work.

The moment the four stepped into Hobi's studio, Taehyung was the first to slump down on the couch. He closed his eyes in frustration. God, what would he give to run away from all the chaos. More specifically, what would he give to run away from his feelings that were getting bitter with every passing minute?

"Have you packed yet?" Taehyungs eyes flew open at Hobi's question, pack? What packing?

"What for?"

"You've got a week to leave Taehyung. You were supposed to leave for your honeymoon, remember?"

Honeymoon. The honeymoon! The events up to today had him forgetting about this.

As scheduled, Taehyung was supposed to leave for Italy with Sohee for his honeymoon. Like hell, he would go alone.

Come to think of it, Taehyung had the entire week to himself now, courtesy of Sohee, of course.

"You should visit your parents, I think that would be the best." Taehyung nodded at Hobi's suggestion with a half mind. He didn't want his parents to worry, but again, that was by default. Being his parents, they would.

Taehyung thought a lot and after a lot of back and forth, he decided to do what was best for him in the situation. go home to his parents.

His mother was the happiest when she heard her son was coming home. She was worried to death about the situation, and Taehyung had eased her worries to a good extent by coming home.

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The days since your arrival have moved quite slowly for you. You were thankful that you had come to New York. You were. You had no idea what you would have done if you had to stay back in Korea. But thankfully people were nice enough to not force you to stay there.

You had seen the latest BTS interview and had felt extremely uneasy. You knew Taehyung enough to know when he was uneasy.

You had to give it to Namjoon to take away the question smoothly.

You were just right out of your classes when your phone started ringing. Taehyung's Mother. She had been calling you every single day to check up on you.

"Hello, Auntie."

"Hello y/nah. How are you doing?"

"I am good, how are you and uncle doing?"

"We are doing good, is everything okay at Uni?"

"Uni is still a few days away but yeah rest I'm settling in slowly in the new apartment with my flatmate."

"That's wonderful. Taehyung will be home today. Today was the day he was scheduled to leave on his honeymoon, but since that's not happening he's gonna be home."

"That's nice, it will be good for him to spend some time with you guys. You will have one less thing to worry about."

"Hope so."

"Don't worry Auntie, Everything will be fine."

"Y/naah."

"Yes, Auntie?"

"Did you get a chance to speak to him?".

"To be honest Auntie, I haven't called him nor did I text him. I think he needs his space to figure things out."

"You're right. But you take care okay? And yeah eat well. I'll call you tomorrow."

You hung up the call with a little confusion, though it had been only three days since you had made no effort to check up on Taehyung. You knew the kind of state he was in. He was your friend at first.

You quickly pull out your phone to drop a simple hi, deciding you could take the conversation as it came. The least you could do as a friend. Just as a friend

To Taehyung: Hi!

You quickly put the phone back, deciding not to wait for the reply. You knew it wouldn't come anytime soon. You didn't even know for real what Ta ehyung was going through, so you were sure there wasn't going to be anything bitter even if he decided not to text you back.

Three hours later, there wasn't a reply. So you just decide to drop in a text to check up on him.

To Taehyung: Hey Tae, hope you're doing well. I cannot begin to imagine what you must be going through right now, but please know none of this is your fault. I hope you're taking care of yourself though…

As expected, Taehyung did not reply and you didn't probe either. You knew he would take time. You were just trying to reassure him as a friend.

This new relationship right now has become the biggest puzzle in your life, probably the most complicated one yet, too.

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Taehyung breathed a sigh of relief in his home, no cameras to watch him, no people around him teasing him, no fake smiles, nothing. Just him and the four walls of his room and his parents. That's it. That's all Taehyung needs right now, isolation in harsher terms and peace in normal terms.

Fortunately, his parents did not investigate why Sohee left him or if he had noticed any signs of her betrayal.

Taehyung had only one answer: To himself and his parents. If he knew Sohee was straying, or if she had fallen out of love with him, he would have done anything in his power to get her back, but if ultimately she would have wanted an out, he would have given her. At Least there would have been closure.

It was funny how bad Taehyung wanted to laugh when he would scroll through social media, how the entire world had put him on a pedestal. Kim Taehyung of BTS, the one with the godly visions, baritone voice, stardom, money, and fame, everyone just looked at the sparkly package that was presented in front of the cameras.

It was funny how he was just a normal guy beneath all that showbiz. He was just a normal guy who loved jazz, loved to stay indoors and spend time with his dog Yeontan, or how he enjoyed single malt on a rainy day. That's all that there was there for him.

The knock on the door, along with Tannie's barks pulled Tae out of his thoughts. Taehyung quickly got up from his bed. It had been a long time since he had seen his son.

"Look who is eager to meet you." He smiled at his mother, who held Tannie's leash in one hand and a cup of coffee in another. He was quick to free Yeontan out of his leash and enveloped the fur ball in his tired arms.

"My baby. He's been a good boy right?"

"He's been the best boy" his mother patted Yeontan on his head and Taehyung received a pat on his arm.

"Are you doing okay?" The words bought a single tear out of his eyes the moment he heard his mother ask him that.

"I don't want to lie."

"You don't need to, it will be okay. I promise."

Taehyung settled a little further into the bed with Yeontan, making a little space for his mother. This was his favorite place in the world, his mother's lap.

Taehyung settled in his mother's lap holding tannie into his arms, the little fur ball settling very comfortably in his dad's arms. It didn't take long for the tears to stop and lull Tae into sleep. The world was finally getting okay for some time.

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Six months later:

'Auntie, how are you?'' You flew in the arms of Mrs. Kim the moment you caught her and Mr. Kim's smiling faces outside the airport. You had not been in touch with the Kims before you got married to their son. You only met them at family dinners when you flew back home.

"We've been very well, Y/naah, You look good."

"Thank you."

"New York has been treating you well." Mrs. Kim links her arms around yours and you smile the brightest. Your bond with Mrs. Kim has developed to a very great extent. The woman was something else. While phone calls with your parents lasted for ten minutes, the interval of twice per week, Mrs. Kim was the one who checked on you daily. The woman had gone as far as adjusting her time to NYC time to call you.

She had just mentioned that you were a part of her family now. she would do everything in her power to make you comfortable and get you acquainted with her family on a more personal level.

You spent the day roaming around the streets of New York. Enjoying all the vibrant things the city of dreams had to offer. By the time you retired to the hotel the Kims were staying in, Mr. Kim had retired to bed, and you were left alone with Mrs. Kim, comfortable on a couch with wine glasses in each of your hands.

"Do you miss Seoul?" You looked at Mrs. Kim in surprise and the bug in your mind just popped its head up, wondering if she was indirectly trying to ask you to come back to Seoul.

"Sometimes, But I think the fact that I'm away from home to achieve something keeps me going."

"That's very brave of you. I remember I Was a nervous wreck when I was out for my studies."

"You studied abroad?" This information was new to you.

"Well for a couple of years I finished my studies and by the time I came back my father was already considering Tae's dad's alliance for me."

"You had an arranged marriage?" You were honestly surprised that Taehyung's parents had been matched by their parents. Those two looked like long-lost lovers. You had mistaken them to be high school or college sweethearts.

The love and adoration and respect that the two had for each other was amazing.

"It doesn't look like it, but yeah I did have an arranged marriage." Mrs. Kim smiled behind her glass and you took another long sip of yours.

"Was it easy?"

"It's never easy y/nah, you have to learn to make it easier." You looked at the beautiful woman in front of you, one day when you would be of her age. You wanted to age like her. There was such a calming and sophisticated aura around Mrs. Kim. She radiates the warmth you crave on a cold day.

"Can I ask you something?" Mrs. Kim nodded as she took a sip of her wine.

"While everyone was hell-bent on me staying in Seoul since then I was married. How come you didn't feel the same?"

"Look y/nah nobody can take away something from you unless you let them. Just because you were married to Taehyung, and he wasn't in a good space back then doesn't give the right to anyone to take away what you have been working for."

"Sometimes as women, we are expected to let everything go and devote our lives to our husbands or families. But people forget that our marriages are a part of our life, not our entire life."

You were left speechless by Mrs. Kim's words. You had not expected such wisdom behind her choice to fight everyone including your parents, to let you come to the States.

"Thank you, Auntie."

"You don't have to thank me y/nah" her sentence was cut short when her phone began ringing.

You froze when Mrs. Kim picked up the call, and a similar deep baritone voice rang through the room. It was him

You decided against leaving the room, worried what Mrs. Kim would think about it. But no other thought came to your mind as soon as Mrs. Kim panned the camera in your direction and you almost squeaked in embarrassment.

Taehyung just gave you a look and smiled a very, very awkward smile. You could feel Mrs. Kim's amused eyes on you, but something wasn't letting you take your eyes off Tae's face.

He looked tired, drained, and exhausted. The predicament that you and Taehyung had been put in had shaken a lot of things into perspective.

You had no clue how you were supposed to face him in the first place. He was your husband, and it had already been six months since your wedding but there was no communication whatsoever except for your out-of-nowhere texts that you kept sending because you were getting worried enough to check on him, but you were awkward enough to not call him.

Your thoughts had already tuned out the major part of Mrs. Kim and her son's conversation by the time you checked back into reality. She was already wishing her a good night.

Mrs. Kim turned the camera on you again and you and Taehyung awkwardly managed to wave a hand at the camera with an equally awkward smile.

It's funny how the people you know so well sometimes are more awkward than strangers you've never met.

"Do you guys speak?"

"Umm no. "

"Makes sense, I'm sure you guys will figure it out with time."

"Thanks, Auntie. You should sleep, I'll take your leave." You got up to collect your bag and Mrs. Kim placed the empty glass on the table to bid you goodbye.

The Kims had checked into a hotel that wasn't far from where you lived so that you wouldn't be inconvenienced to travel. Yeah, that's how lucky you got regarding in-laws. Taehyung's parents were sweethearts and at times you still hated Sohee for giving up on something so precious.

She still occupies places in your mind. She was your best friend, after all. But you didn't understand where you went wrong, and Sohee felt the need to hide everything from you.

Sohee never spoke to you about Mark, nothing at all. Your weekly calls were the same. Her loud laughter was the same. Then where did the open honesty and transparency that you both had sworn in went?

Sometimes the thought of what you would have done if you knew about Sohees plan plagued your mind. But again, you could have at least prevented one bad thing from happening.

Nothing of that mattered now, things had gone past, way past.

"Where were you?" You screeched when you heard Arias' voice the moment you shut the door.

"Give a girl a warning babe."

"That's not the point, where have you been? I haven't seen you after the classes."

"I was out, Relatives were visiting from Korea. "

"That's nice, dinner is in the fridge." You just hummed while you settled down with a glass of water.

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"Who were you talking to?" Namjoon asked as he took a seat near Taehyung, who was still reeling from the awkward encounter he had minutes ago with his mother and you.

"I was talking to Eomma."

"Why do you look like you had the most awkward conversation then?".

"It wasn't an awkward conversation but an awkward encounter."

"Awkward Encounter?"

"Y/n was with Eomma."

"Eomma has been visiting New York with Appa." Namjoon raised his eyebrows the moment he mentioned his parents visiting you. His mother was mad at him initially when you had left for New York. But she didn't blame him much. thanks to Sohee. But he was aware that his mother had been speaking to you every day since you left. He knew his mother was the kind of person that made efforts for people and you were a good person. So he had no qualms about it.

"She's been talking to her too. They're more like friends now I guess."

"Well have you thought about when you are going to talk to y/n?" Taehyung had no answer to this question. This was a question that he didn't even want to remotely think about. It took him six months to come to terms with the fact that Sohee was not a part of his life anymore.

"I don't know yet." Namjoon frowned at the way Taehyung answered with a straight face. He was going to have to talk to her someday. You were his wife, after all. Irrespective of how and why The truth could not be changed. And he was worried about what if his dongsaeng couldn't accept it.

"Taehyungah you know right y/n is your wife now and you will have to speak to her someday."

"We will see about Hyung." Taehyung left the room abruptly, not wanting to answer any more questions. What answers was he supposed to give his Hyung if he did not have any?

For Taehyung, there were more important things to worry about. His parents' anniversary was coming up and he had plans. This was supposed to be a trip he was going to take with them along with Sohee. This was supposed to be the first family trip that they would be taking as a family and Ta ehyung had been extremely excited about it.

He had known his mother had been dying to go to Greece. But somehow she wanted it to be a family trip, too. Since it had been too rare an occurrence for Taehyung to go on a trip with his family without being recognized.

But Taehyung had already made up his mind. He was going on this trip with or without Sohee. All the arrangements had been made. The tickets and the hotels were booked. The itinerary was fixed. All he had to do was go on that trip with his parents. Spend time with them and forget the world for a while.

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One week before the trip:

The room fell silent when Taehyung walked into the practice room. The boys were still fighting over who was supposed to tell him the news. Taehyung sensed the weird energy in the room the moment he walked in. He quickly threw his bottle over the rack and side-eyed everyone. He knew the looks on the other six members' faces when they were about to give bad news or if they were nervous about something.

"What is it?" Taehyung spoke a little louder. But everyone looked the same. Nervous and unsure of what to say.

"We need to go to the US." Namjoon finally spoke up using the leader's voice. A voice that he used only when he knew the situation could spiral out of control.

"Isn't that a good thing?" What are we going for?" Taehyung tied his shoe laces while the others sat frozen in their spots. He was still confused about the silence in the room.

"We have been invited to speak at the UNGA," Yoongi spoke up, making Taehyung look up. Wasn't this a good thing? Speaking at the United Nations? That would be a second time, but taking care of it was going to be such an important event.

"Okay, what is it? Why do you guys look like this?" The rest of the members took a closer step toward him. Namjoon and Jin had already instructed everyone to proceed with caution in this area. The past few months had been turbulent enough for Taehyung and this trip was something he was looking forward to.

"We leave next Monday Tae." Hobi finally spoke up, and it took a second for Taehyung to realize what he meant. Next Monday. He was supposed to leave for Greece on Sunday night. Now he understood why everyone was so nervous about it.

"I think we should start the rehearsals now, We must be late." Taehyung quickly stood up and took his position. The others looked at him like he had lost it, but they were afraid to probe further. The state that he was in nowadays didn't need too much probing.

"Tae the invitation was very last minute, We couldn't do much about it." Namjoon tried explaining his perspective to Taehyung, who just nodded.

"Hyung you don't need to explain yourself, If this could be avoided then you would have. Let's start the rehearsals please." The boys quickly got in their positions once they heard the edge in his voice.

Taehyung took deep breaths to calm himself down. The voice inside him drowned out the second the music started, but it still didn't keep him away from his thoughts. Why couldn't he have one thing he wanted in life? He couldn't even blame anyone. Standing at the UNGA in front of world diplomats was a chance very few people got. They could never let this go. This was their chance to be the voice of change and do their bit.

It was all his fate. While it kept giving him ten folds. It took back equally as well. Like always, he knew his mother would understand. She wouldn't complain and his father would pacify him instead. His parents were gems. They always took everything with a smile on their faces. But Taehyung knew how much his parents wanted to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary with their son. Once again, fate had him thinking. What if he was just another normal person away from all of this showbiz?

Taehyung disconnected the call for the tenth time. Not finding the courage to dial the number and give his parents the news. Finally, when he thought he had the courage, he called his dad's number. But two rings later he felt himself deflate. But he was a second too late. His mother receiving the call on the other end.

"Eomma how are you?" Taehyung still couldn't find the words in him to express what he wanted to say.

"Congratulations Son."

"What for?"

"Your eomma saw the news son, Congratulations on making it to UNGA." Taehyung panicked internally at the mention of the UN. It was time he had to start explaining.

"Thank you, Appa. But the trip was too sudden. We–

"No need to explain son, We are proud of you. We can take the trip sometime else." Taehyung breathed a sigh of relief. But the guilt kept weighing him down. He knew how badly his parents wanted to spend time with him.

"Appa but

"Taehyung relax, We are proud of you. Trust me it's alright. The fact that you are going to be part of such an important event gives me more happiness than any trip we could have taken." Taehyung had no words to express how grateful he was to have such understanding parents. Taehyung spoke some more to his parents; he promised them he would take time out to take a trip to Greece along with his parents. Taehyung hung up the call with a smile. He was indeed blessed. He had to just check his schedule now to make some time to plan this trip. Just how he wished he could spend the anniversary with them? The smile that could have been bought on his parent's face would be priceless.

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"Hello, Auntie."

"Hello dear." You sensed something with the way Mrs. Kim's smile didn't reach her eyes. Her daily video calls were your dose of serotonin and her smile and warm words would always light up even your worst days.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing wrong, Why did you feel so?" Your eyes caught the way Mrs. Kim was looking down at her already manicured nails.

"You've been talking to me daily for the past six months, You think I wouldn't notice if something was wrong?" Mrs. Kim looked up and immediately the sad smile caught your attention. Something was indeed wrong.

"You know I told you about the trip right?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well the boys are going to be attending the UNGA this year, So the trip got canceled. I am happy but it's just that I was looking forward to spending some time with Taehyung."

"Oh, that's happy and sad at the same time."

"It is. My poor boy couldn't even properly celebrate this important event because he is already guilty enough that he won't be spending the anniversary with us."

"Auntie doesn't be sad, I'm sure he is going to plan this trip super soon."

"It's not the trip Y/nah, I was looking forward to meeting Taehyung and spending some time with him you know."

"I understand Auntie. But I am sure you are going to spend time with him super soon. I just know it." You didn't know for real. But you did not like the way Mrs. Kim looked sad. She had come to New York to just check on you. There could be something that could bring a smile to her face.

You spoke a little more with Mrs. Kim about the boy's visit to the US, but the idea was still taking shape in your mind. So what if Taehyung couldn't come to them, they could go to him. But if they really could, that needed to be checked. And the maknaes latest Instagram story of working out with Jimin turned out to be just that.

You hung up the call exchanging your greetings, and then dialed straight to the one and only Jeon Jungkook.

"Noona, How are you? Where are you?" You laughed at the youngest impatient tone. He was always the over-excited one.

"I am doing just fine Kookie, How have you been?"

"I am good, Just getting done with working out with Jimin."

"Good Good. Congratulations on the UN by the way. So proud of you all."

"Thank you Y/n." Your face lit up in a smile when you heard both of them yell the thank you in unison. You thought for a second before approaching the topic. But then you threw caution to the wind. Worst case scenario, the surprise wouldn't go as planned.

"Uhh Kookie, Is Tae around?"

"No Noona, He is busy with Yoongi and Namjoon Hyung."

"Good. Tell me what does your schedule look like after your UNGA appearance?"

"Okay, We have a two-day gap after which we fly back to Seoul. Why do you ask?"

"When is your appearance?"

"On the 25th, why?"

"Perfect, that means you have the 26th free right?"

"Noona what's going on?"

"You know it's Taehyung's parents' anniversary right on the 26th? I just spoke to Auntie and she kind of seemed sad because she was looking forward to spending the day with him."

"Okay go on." The two voices on the other end spoke in unison, and that gave you the confirmation. You now had the full attention of Jungkook and Jimin.

"So what if we could plan something for his parent's anniversary? I'm sure Uncle and Auntie would love to see him on their anniversary as they planned. You help me get their son."

"Their son's name is Taehyung, Who also happens to be your husband."

"Oh really? Thank You, Jimin. I didn't know that Taehyung was my husband if not for you."

"Good."

"Okay Jokes apart–

"Noona Tae is your husband and it's not a joke."

"You two gonna help me or not?" You tried to keep your voice stern, but the other two on the end were someone who you could barely keep a straight face on when they were in front of you.

"Calm down Noona, We are here for you."

"Good. Now tell me how we can get this thing going."

The call ended up stretching up for an hour and the three of you decided on the logistics of the surprise. You were doing it for Mrs. Kim. The woman was almost a mother to you. And the way Mrs. Kim had been so warm in welcoming you to her family was way more than expected.

She could have easily let things be or just expected you to stay back in Korea with her son. Like any mother-in-law would do. But the fact that she chose to value your dreams and your ambitions spoke a lot about her as a person. The Kims were very warm and very welcoming when you were concerned. Not to mention, they took a trip to New York just to visit you.

Overall, Jimin and Jungkook understood when you explained to them the reason you wanted to pull this off. For what they did. This was the least you could do. Of course, Taehyung would be happier in the process, too. The guy deserved a break from all that was happening to him.

Now all that was left to do was to find a way to get the Kims to the US. You cracked your brains the entire day, but you still couldn't come up with a reasonable excuse that would get them on the flight to the US.

By the time the night rolled in you had come up with a solution. A lie. You had to lie. There was no other excuse that could bring the couple here to New York. So you impatiently waited for the next day to arrive so that you could put your plan into action. You went as far as getting your parents involved in the lie. After all, the lies you were going to spew would most definitely put forward a question. Why weren't your parents invited?

You waited for Mrs. Kim's call the next day impatiently, You sometimes held back, calling her on your own, afraid if she could be busy or occupied with something but today you were just pacing around the room waiting for the similar skype tone. Your patience wore thin when it was already five minutes past her usual time.

"Hello, Y/nah I was about to call you."

"Auntie you were five minutes late, So I called up." The impatience in your tone drew out a chuckle from Mrs.Kim.

"Oh I am sorry dear, Tell me what are you so excited about?"

"How did you know I am excited?"

"Oh, Y/n I can understand by now with the tone of your voice." You smiled at the way she already knew something was brewing in your mind.

"So Auntie we have a ceremony in uni where I am going to display my first short film, Will you and Uncle come?"

"That's amazing y/n. We would love it too. I'll speak to Chahee and make plans."

"Umm Auntie, Eomma, and Appa are a little occupied with a family engagement. But I want you and Uncle to be there for me."

"That's Okay dear, We would love to. I am happy that you asked us." You smiled at Mrs. Kim's words. The woman was a sweetheart. She didn't even ask questions. She just agreed.

"But, Auntie, the ceremony falls on the day of your anniversary. It's okay, right?

"Oh y/n it's okay, We would love to celebrate our anniversary with you."

"Perfect Auntie, Thank you so much." You continue your conversation with both of them like you always did, Though you kept praying internally now that they had plans of visiting the US, Everything would go to the drain if they ended up calling Tae.

But fortunately for you. Neither of that happened. Since the boys were busy with the preparation for their trip to the US, Tae probably couldn't find the time and his parents didn't, maybe because they didn't want to disturb him. Things worked in your favor.

The actual event leading to their celebration was tossed and turned over multiple times. Sometimes over the venue. Sometimes over the choices of what to do and what not to do.

Soon enough, what was supposed to be a small surprise turned out to be a full-blown extravaganza courtesy of six billionaires and six concerned and extremely excited friends. All six of them contributed to the surprise get-together. While you did it for Mrs. Kim, the rest of the guys did it for their Tae.

You were just hoping he wouldnt misunderstand it.

[pinnithin]

work got me down as usual so i gotta ramble

a master sergeant who works in my flight apologized to me yesterday for something i didnt even take offense to. long story but its annual award season so a lot of our time right now is spent workshopping the award packages from our squadron so they'll be competitive at the wing level. and this guy wrote one for an airman who'd done really well this year, but due to a misunderstanding it looked like he'd plagiarized the previous year's, and we discovered this in the middle of the meeting in front of the other flights and it just kinda made us look dickish.

anyway, i didn't really care, because i didnt do it. felt bad for the airman but she'd earned a pretty significant early promotion like a week prior so it was probably fine if the award got tossed (it didnt - they let us rework and resubmit it). but in the end nobody died, nobody got hurt, whatever. it wasted like 3 hours of everyone's time but we're salaried so its not that big of a deal. the master sergeant in question was not present at this meeting to defend himself, but my superintendent called him to give him a piece of his mind because he made us look like assholes in front of the other flights. i didnt get into it because i didnt really care.

this week rolls around, the guy catches me to apologize and explain that it was a mistake and he thought he was copying valid bullets from past awards (common practice - theres only so many ways you can explain that a guy inventoried a warehouse real good). he told me he felt like shit all weekend because of it and he dreaded coming to work this week after "putting us through that" in front of the squadron. and i was like, man. thats a really small silly thing to feel like shit over.

and i was all "man its okay, they let us resubmit it, mistakes happen, nobody got hurt etc etc" and he was like no but you still had to defend your reputations in front of the other flights and my mistake put you in that situation and i was like, really? thats what youre upset about? MY reputation? you realize i dont care what any of these people think about me, right? and i didn't even make the mistake - that was you! and if people think im a jackass because one of my guys made a mistake that was easily fixable then thats their problem. there are way more important things to worry about.

he looked relieved and then got really quiet and was like, how are you like that?

like what?

how do you just let this stuff go all the time? i beat myself up all weekend over this and youre just... fine about it?

this isn't the first time someones asked me this, albeit more casually like "youre so chill LT i wish i was as chill as you" yknow but he seemed like genuinely concerned and i had to pause for a second before being like. therapy? its therapy. im like this because im in therapy.

i mean its also the constant exhaustion and being jaded and desensitized to this hellish war machine, but i can cope a hell of a lot better with it. i have to actively work at it to maintain a healthy mindset or ill go berserk. this is not my natural state i had to build this.

this guy is ten years older than me, has been in the air force for, i wanna say 13 years? crippled with anxiety and guilt over, what, embarrassing (not really) his boss? i just felt so fucking bad for him.

and theres so many people here who are like him, who hold themselves to these impossible standards because of the weird mind games this brutal industry puts everyone through. i have met more people with work induced neuroses in the three years here than ive ever seen anywhere else in my life, and im sure i have a collection of my own that im blind to as well. this job is merciless and will grind you into dust with no remorse if it means making the jets fly faster.

like, duh, its the military, what did you expect. obviously working for the business that kills people will mess you up. but it still sucks, right? ive met really good people here who have been irreparably damaged in their service and they wont even get help because theyre too afraid to damage their career in the job that hurt them in the first place. it sucks. it sucks to see.

not just people who've been here a long time, literally everyone i know here deals with some kind of trauma (mild though it may be for some of the newer kids, youre still getting shipped away from your family and everything you know for a job you might not even like, in a cruel profession, and thatll upset anyone just a little at least). i know people who've been here 3 months who are like this is the lowest ive ever felt. i know people who are 3 months from retirement who are like i put my life into this job and all it did was chew me up and spit me out.

once again. military. it should be obvious. i can still be sad about it though i think. maybe nobody whos a good person voluntarily joins the military, so maybe we all kind of deserve it, but i think we're still allowed to be kind of upset about it.

i have one year left. i have complicated feelings about it. ive also been irreparably damaged here, but at the same time im at the point where i really like the person i am and i would not be that person without having to go through the fucking pits of hell in this shitty ass job. i know part of it is because of my own efforts to unfuck myself after i got horribly fucked over and had a nervous breakdown in mid 2021, but now i kind of have that point of reference to ground me? like anything i do from now on has never been as hard as that part of my life was. and i dont think i would have taken therapy and recovery as seriously if i wasn't dealing with ptsd. so i dunno.

im not sure where im going with this its just like. fuck this place. fuck this fucking job. i only care about the people ive met here and i feel like im abandoning them by getting out next year, but if i stay inside a burning house i'll die too yknow

[sleevesareforlosers]

now that im actually home with no further travel plans i thought i'd sum up what ive done since june eighteenth (writing this post sept 8 but the queen is fucking dead and thats whats most important)

drove 3191 miles in a 46 year old motorhome (vancouver to vegas and back on a weird route)

and then another 1655 in a chevy sonic (vancouver to calgary and back)

and THEN another 306 or so in an (empty) ten foot uhaul cube van (cleveland to toronto)

which i didnt intend on doing when i woke up that morning. btw

grand total of roughly 5152 miles or 8291 km of driving

and then the two flights and the two and a. uh. portion of a greyhound trip(s) to really round out the miles

visited/at least drove through ten states (washington, oregon, california, nevada, idaho, maryland, virginia, pennsylvania, ohio, and new york) and three provinces (BC, alberta, ontario)

used two mobile mechanics, one shop mechanic, and a VERY kind and friendly assistant manager at a napa auto who did two hours of work for free bc he clearly just wanted to fuck with an old engine in order to get the aforementioned 46 year old motorhome from van to vegas and back

broke my personal best for outdoor rock climbing difficulty like. eight or nine times (started the summer being comfy leading 5.8s and ended it leading 5.10b and toproping 5.11b)

rode a motorcycle for the first time!

fucked up my neck so bad in oregon i nearly called the trip there

and got heatstroke in vegas

AND got periorbital dermatitis on both eyes which lasted well over a month

saw orville peck, went to a music festival in The Middle Of Nowhere, BC, AND saw my chem

made a cape (not for me, got no pictures)

met four mutuals in the flesh

got two new tattoos

and slept in my own actual bed for 11 nights out of 83, putting me on the road for 72 days, or 19.73 percent of 2022

[gxccistyless]

1-  “Are you ok? You sound like you’ve been gargling glass.” 3- “For once, this isn’t actually my fault.” 7- “I’m not going to like what you’re about to tell me.... am I?” He was almost five and a half thousand miles away in LA. In the last two weeks of his promo tour in the early hours of the morning he called. This wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to call, he would always do it on mornings when his schedule allowed. What was out of the ordinary however, was the way his voice sounded. His already deep and somewhat husky voice sounded lower and more rough. Something was off and although you knew how much he hated worrying you, you asked him anyway. “Harry... are you okay? You sound like.. Well like you’re been gargling glass”. You hear him sigh on the other end of the phone. “Is it that  obvious... fuck” this followed by ten odd seconds of silence “I’m fine love. Just a sore throat, I’m looking after myself, don’t worry, I’m fine I promise” but you did worry, and he knew that, he could practically hear your mind racing through the phone. “And before you even get any ideas love, no you don’t have to fly out here I can bloody well look after myself..” “When did you start feeling this way?” There’s a pause again, followed by a heavy sigh. He knew once you got wind of him being ill you would pepper him with questions which was why he had tried so hard to cover it up. “it’s only been a few days love, I promise I’m fine” “Harry.. you shouldn’t push yourself so much, you’re working yourself —” he cuts you off “too hard, I know I know. Look in two weeks I’ll be home, I’ve seen the doctor twice already love, I’m PROMISE I’m looking after myself... and you really really don’t need to come here”.

The two of you continue to converse until you have managed to get yourself out of bed and just about ready to shower, you make him promise that he’s going straight to bed and that if his feeling much the same or any worse tomorrow that he’ll cancel, he refuses to promise you that he’ll cancel but he hangs up the phone and you don’t hear from him again until the following day. He sounds better, he tells you he’s feeling better although you are still worried and half tempted to hop onto a flight after lunch, you give him the benefit of the doubt and once again you’re up and getting ready for work.  He doesn’t call you for another two days, you’re kind of relieved by this. Mostly because after falling down the stairs two days earlier you found yourself in the hospital getting x-rays and a cast put on. This time it was you trying to prevent him from getting on a plane and jetting his way right to you. You knew that eventually he would find out and naturally he would be on the first plane home, but the thought of him canceling his promo tour in the states just to fly home to look after you, when you could manage perfectly fine on your own, made you feel worse than not having him here did. It was 9am when he called, usually he was an hour earlier at least. “Why aren’t you out of bed? Shouldn’t you be heading to work already?” You take a deep breath in, you had already made a list of key points to share with him when he would inevitably begin to lose his mind at your news, “No, I’m not working today, I have two weeks off”. This throws him, he doesn’t remember you mentioning taking time off work, in actual fact he remembers you telling him how busy you were at work. “you took time off work? I thought you were busy?”   “I’m fine, but uh —” “i’m not going to to like what you’re about to tell me... am I?” You have two choices here, tell him the truth and ruin what little of his promo tour he has left, or brush him off, play it down and tell him later. You decide to go with the latter. “My boss just thought I’d be more productive working from home...” “oh okay, well I’ll let you get to work then, I should really get to sleep.. I have a 6am call time... I love you” “i love you Harry, sleep well my love”.

It was precisely 2.05pm when his name flashed across your phone screen. “Hellooooo my sleepy sunshine” “Hello Liar...” it had been all of five hours since you last spoke to him and somehow in that five hours you had managed to out yourself, you desperately wanted an açai bowl and even though you knew leaving the house meant that there was a risk you would be photographed, your  desire to eat outweighed your disinterest in having a fight with your boyfriend who was five and a half thousand miles away. “how.. what...who..” “you’re trending on twitter... and caption with the photo reads “Harry Styles girlfriend of four years sporting a broken arm in cast and sling as she braves the cold and snow to grab an açai bowl” “Harry—” “So do you want to tell me what happened now or shall we wait to have this discussion for when I land tomorrow?” “HARRY don’t you dare fly home, this is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you I knew I JUST KNEW you would want to cancel promo and I can’t do that to you.. I just I -” you didn’t realise you were holding back tears and now here they were. You take a deep breath. “For once, this isn’t actually my fault, your stupid cat threw up in the hall at the top of the stairs and I didn’t see it and slipped and fell down the stairs... okay so maybe it is my fault and I know you tell me all the time to turn the light on in the hallway, I just forgot and I had my eyes closed and I wasn’t expecting to fall” there’s a long pause after you stop speaking, you check to see if the line is still connected, but then you hear him rustling in the background. “Harry...?” “I’ll be home tomorrow” “no Harry—” “I’m coming home to you..” “Harry just listen to —” “You could have killed yourself down those stairs —” “HARRY...” your breathing becomes laboured. Why does this boy never listen to you? “WILL YOU PLEASE JUST LISTEN TO ME.. I AM FINE.... I love you, I love that you want to look after me but I am a capable person and I can do it myself and if you come home, you’d be no help whatsoever AND if you cancel I won’t talk to you...”

He finds it ironic that just a couple of days ago you were begging him to cancel but now that the reasoning was you, you were begging him to stay. “Thats okay I didn’t plan to do a lot of talking...” you roll your eyes and then go in on one final attempt to keep him in the states “if you come home, you’re sleeping on the couch”  he hates the couch more than he hates being away from you. You know you’ve won the argument when he lets out a heavy sigh. “fine, but when I do het home you’ll have to really really reaaaaalllyyy apologise for lying to me”. “deal”.

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Soulmate September - Day 12

Day 12 - You meet your soulmate in your dreams every night.

Pairing(s): Romantic Remile, Romantic Moceit, Romantic Dukexiety, Past Romantic Dukeceit

TWs: sexual language, mentions of childbirth, Remus being Remus, swearing

--

Emile Picani knew something was up with his soulmate.

Their link, as almost all did, formed when they were twelve. And right off the bat, when his soulmate kept flitting in and out of sight, he knew their first meeting would be interesting. Emile had sat up from his dream bed to see a young boy with raven hair that shone a dazzling blue in the light, and pale skin adorned with freckles that stood out like stars in the night sky. 

So sue him, Emile was going through a poetic phase. 

He’d walked over to start up the conversation, “Soulmate! Do you, how do? My name’s-”

Was as far as he got before the boy disappeared. At first, Emile panicked; what happened?! Did his soulmate hate him on sight and wake up-

Oh, there he is.

The boy reappeared, taking in Emile as he looked him up and down with his mocha coloured eyes, “Oh, you’re still here, babes. Cool.”

Huh. Interesting response, but Emile trusted in fate, extending a hand again, “As I was saying before you got spirited away, I’m Emile Picani! What’s your name?”

“Nice Ghibli reference. I’m Remy Duke,”, he yawned, reaching for Emile’s hand lazily, “Nice to meet you. So like, you’re my soulmate? I’m like, not just dreaming?”

Emile shook his head, “Nope! It’s really me! I hope you’re not disappointed- Ah, sorry, my pops says I shouldn’t say stuff like that-”

“He’s right, you shouldn’t.”, was the blunt response he got.

Sensing that he might’ve made his soulmate uncomfortable, Remy elaborated, “My ren says you should totes avoid negative thinking. Like, if you keep thinking you’re disappointing me, you’re only gonna like, reinforce that idea. And being that anxious is not a good look on you, sweetie.”

Emile wasn’t sure what to think, but the advice made him feel… really happy, actually. His soulmate cares! He went to thank him, but Remy had disappeared again. Dang. Emile waited until Remy returned, humming to himself when he heard his soulmate’s voice again,

“Whoa, you like Steven Universe?”

Emile’s smile glistened with delight that Remy had recognised the tune of Independant Together, “Yeah! Who’s your favourite character!? Mine’s Steven!! But if I had to pick a gem, I’d say Spinel’s my new favourite!” 

Remy rolled his eyes, but Emile read the gesture as a fond one, “Cool.” . He figured his soulmate wouldn’t answer further but then Remy continued, “I like Buck Dewey. He’s totes underrated. As for the gems, like, there’s no question babes. Garnet’s the best.”

Thankfully, Remy was able to stay for the rest of the night until the two of them realised it’d be morning soon.

“Oh, before you go, maybe we should find out where we both live! That way we can-”

Remy shook his head, “Nah babes. Let’s make this fun. It’s like, way too boring if we make things THAT easy.”. He noted how upset Emile looked and took pity, “Tell you what babes, how about every time we meet, we both get one yes or no question. Make it a game. First one to guess where the other lives wins.”

Emile smiled, mirroring Remy’s playful one, “Alright then! Can I go first?”

“As long as you’re quick babes.”

“Oh, right!”, Emile cleared his throat, “Are you in the US?”

With a dramatic, yet monotone sigh, Remy retorted, “Unfortunately-”

“Remyyyy!”, Emile chuckled, “You’re breaking your own rule. It’s yes or no, silly!”

Remy rolled his eyes, but the sigh he gave had nothing but fondness, “Alright, alright. Yes.”. He stretched his arms, “Same question to you babes, you stuck in this crapsack of a country too?”

“Yes.”, Emile answered, “Unfortunately.”

The chuckle he got back from Remy left him with a smile on his face as he awoke that morning. Emile wasted no time in brushing his teeth and heading to breakfast with a spring in his step to tell his fathers the great news. 

--

Unknowingly just a few miles away, another young lad awoke and dragged himself lazily down the stairs where his father and ren were having one of their early morning romantic tension arguments.

“The knife’s the pussy option, Virge!”, his father Remus had chided, shoving a handful of trix into his mouth with his bare hand, “Knives don’t do shit!”

Remy’s ren, Virgil, massaged their temples in frustration. Going by the shade of their face being somewhere between embarrassed tomato and devil’s asscrack crimson, Remy figured they’d been on this tangent for the last hour or so.

“What the FUCK do you mean ‘knives don’t do shit’?! It’s a fucking KNIFE, dipshit! What the fuck is a spoon gonna do!?”

Virgil yanked the cereal from Remus and began pouring him a proper bowl, to which the messy man scoffed, “Virge, you’re not thinking about the bigger picture!”

“What bigger picture?! We’re talking about which would be best in a casual alleyway fight, right?! Just bring a goddamn knife!”

Ah. 

Context. 

Gotta love it.

Remy walked undetected past the two of them to go digging in the hall closet dryer for his favourite shirt while his father made his case.

“That’s predictable, babe! You’re not thinking about the psychology of it, Virge!”, Remus protested, “Look, any bozo can grab a knife, big deal! Your chances of being intimidating with that alone are, what, four in ten?!”, he bullshitted, gesticulating wildly as he picked up a spoon, wielding it like a cutlass, “But if you pick a spoon!? Thats like saying “Hey I’m fuckin’ crazy”!! I’m not gonna go up against the mother fucker that picks a spoon! You know how crazy that looks!?”

“Very much so, yeah.”, Virgil deadpanned, making direct eye contact with Remus who returned that glare with a wink.

“Careful, last time you gave me that look, we had to start buying baby clothes.”

Virgil scoffed, but it was hard to hide the exhausted smirk they bore, “Oh fuck you. Take your cereal and sit down.”

Remus did neither of those things, instead wrapping his arms around Virgil’s waist and pulling them closer, “I mean, if you wanna-“

“Like, maybe we can keep the horny out of the kitchen?”, Remy piped up, watching his ren damn near leap out of their skin while his father burst into laughter.

“No promises!”, Remus jested, taking the bowl of cereal Virgil had made for him and downing it like he was chugging cheap beer at a frat party. Virgil sighed in exhaustion but gestured for Remy to have a seat at the table, “So, how’d your first soulmate dream go, Rem? Did you get a name?”

Remy slung himself into his usual seat at the table, “Yeah. His name’s Emile Picani.”

The immediate silence was palpable for a second, even Remus didn’t dare make a sound when Virgil spoke up, “Remus, wasn’t your ex’s name Janus Picani?”

Remy hadn’t seen his father in a flight or fight situation like this before; sure there was this one time in WalMart, but he didn’t have a melon baller, two packs of toilet paper, and a plunger at hand like that time. Instead, his father was armed only with a banana he had snatched from the fruit bowl and taken a bite of. With the peel still on. Speaking with his mouth full and earning a disgusted eye roll from his partner, Remus finally managed to offer a response.

--

“It’s probably not the same guy.”

Janus Picani unknowingly echoed his ex boyfriend under his breath, inaudible to his son. 

Of all the names Emile could’ve given, why’d the surname have to be Duke? He had never told his husband Patton about the whole ex-boyfriend thing; Janus thought it best no one ever knew lest he be judged harshly. Sure, he’d never exactly cared what others thought - and many did share his opinion that holding off ANY romantic or sexual activity until you met your soulmate wasn’t always entirely healthy or doable - but the idea of Patton possibly being let down or upset by the news…

Janus didn’t want to think about it. No, he wouldn’t entertain the thought. After all, he had breakfast to make, fried eggs to watch over, toast to be ready to butter when it popped up.

Besides, Duke was probably a common surname, right? 

Probably. 

Maybe.. 

Hopefully.

“Did Remy tell you where he lives, sweetie? We can always drive you over to meet him after school if it’s close enough!”, Patton chirped excitedly from the seat next to his son, unknowingly setting Janus even more on edge. 

Please say he’s across the country. Please say he’s in another state. Please say he’s ANYWHERE but close by-

“Oh, we’re making a game of it!”

Janus’ curiosity peaked, but his anxiety remained on hold just in case.

“Every time we meet, we get to ask one yes or no question, then whoever guesses the other’s location first wins! Isn’t that exciting!?”

His enthusiasm was contagious. Patton was practically bouncing in his chair, “Oh that’s so cute!! It’s just like a romcom!”, he began, then corrected, “Oh, unless you’re both platonic, don’t worry kiddo, that’s fine too-”

“Thanks popstar, but I um,”, Emile flushed a little, hiding in his pastel yellow cardigan, “I really like him. I know it’s dumb ‘cause we only just met but… but he’s so cool!”

Janus listened in on his son’s adorable recounting of the encounter; how the two had talked about cartoons for hours, and the oddity of Remy flickering back and forth from the soulscape at first. The curiosity in Janus won out as he finished cooking their breakfast and brought their plates to the table. 

“He sounds like a lovely young man,”, Janus led with, hoping to at least quell some of his fears, “Do we get to know what he looks like, perhaps?”

Patton gasped excitedly, “Yessss!! Then if we pass him on the street, we can say hello!”

Thankful for Patton’s backup, if not for the same reasons, Janus nodded and Emile enthusiastically took out his notebook to start trying to draw his soulmate from memory,

“Well, he’s got really gorgeous eyes! And lots of freckles!-”

His pencils were almost combusting at the sheer speed Emile was working up the more he got excited about his soulmate. His fathers both unknowingly thought back to his adoption; he’d been so shy at first, barely able to look either of them in the eye, but after just a couple of weeks being allowed to express himself creatively in ways he hadn’t been able to do before with his birth parents, Emile had grown into the same excitable young lad they were watching right that second. Wordlessly, Patton slid his hands into Janus’ hold, who sweetly returned the loving gesture with a soft lacing of their fingers together. 

They were inches from leaning in for a kiss momentarily before Emile excitedly announced that he was done, “This is him! Isn’t he the coolest?!”

Janus scanned the drawing, noting both his son’s artistic talent and feeling a small burst of relief. The kid didn’t resemble Remus at all. For now at least he could sleep easy knowing he wouldn’t have to face his ex again.

--

Janus ate his words three months later.

Emile and Remy had continued to meet within their dreams, playing their guessing game as always until, thanks to Patton’s help, he managed to guess close enough to Remy’s location. True to his word, Remy had given Emile the address and lo and behold, they were only a couple of miles away from each other.

Janus couldn’t say he wasn’t happy for them, he was thrilled in fact. However, as he stood at the front door of Remy’s parents house staring at the face of his ex boyfriend, he couldn’t deny the urge he had to run away immediately. The moment of silence was unbearable. Perhaps he could pretend he didn’t know- “Well shit, it IS you, Snake Face!”

Nevermind.

Janus resisted the urge to scratch at the eczema that adorned the left half of his face, clearing his throat, “It’s good to see you too, Remus.”

Patton and Emile were shocked by the revelation, while Virgil and Remy were entirely unphased. Though Remy was certainly more preoccupied by his soulmate.

Emile was so much cuter in person; his jade green eyes, his honey skin, the cute puff of purple hair, the dorkiest Disney themed sweater Remy had ever seen. It took him a second to realise he was staring too long and blocking the door.

“Oh, uh, come in or whatever, babes.”

He reached out to lead his soulmate into the house, followed by a gaggle of awkward parents.

“So, Jan, darling,”, Patton piped up, “How do you and um-“

“Remus!”, the man grinned.

“You and Remus know each other?”

Janus was about to answer with a well crafted lie when Remus beat him to the punch, “Oh! Dee’s my ex!”

The immediate silence that followed from all six occupants of the house was so much worse than Janus had anticipated. Emile sported an expression of shock, and he didn’t want to hazard seeing Patton’s face. Seeing how disappointed he’d be that he’d lied to him-

“Oh! Well that was ….. Un-ex-pected!”, Patton punned, earning mostly groans but a hearty chuckle from Remus. Janus looked over to his husband, stunned to note that he didn’t seem angry. Perhaps he’d been worried over nothing after all. 

Virgil was first to speak up as they offered the others a seat on the sofa while Remy and Emile were excused to go play video games while the adults talked.

“So I take it you didn’t tell your..“, Remus stalled, hoping Patton would fill in the pieces.

“Husband.”

“Husband,”, Remus began, “that we used to hardcore date back in the day?”

Janus felt his stomach lurch as Patton shifted beside him; neither farther away nor closer to him. Perhaps that made it much worse. 

“In my defense, Remus, we both knew it wasn’t exactly anything serious-”

Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say. It was brief, but Janus noted the flash of disappointment in Remus’ eyes. Not exactly that of a hopeful ex lover realising they didn’t have a second chance, mind you. More so someone who clearly had wanted a close friendship, or at least SOME kind of meaningful relationship with the man he’d grown close to. 

Man, Janus felt like such a bastard.

“Apologies, Remus. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh-“

“It’s fine, Snake ‘n’ Flake,”, Okay maybe Janus didn’t feel too bad, “I mean, it stings a little but whatever. We both found our soulmates, so who cares about what we got up to on campus-”

Patton cleared his throat politely, but firmly, “Sorry to interrupt but um, Virgil, was it? How long had you known about it?”

Janus knew that expression; Patton’s “I want to know how much of a fool I’ve been” face was unmistakable. Maybe he was mad at Janus after all.

Virgil snorted, playing with their hoodie strings in a stimming gesture, “Dude, his opening line when we met was “I hope you don’t mind that this ass has some mileage on it.”. Remus doesn’t do subtlety.”

Maybe if Janus wished hard enough the floor would eat him alive. Patton gave a quiet, thoughtful nod and the conversation diverted unexpectedly after that. Not that Janus wasn’t relieved, but the way Patton seemed to pivot so quickly into another topic felt all too much like he was avoiding the whole thing. Janus may be a coward, but seeing his husband try to act like the information wasn’t hurting him was so much worse. He dug his phone out of his pocket and feigned surprise,

“... Would you excuse me, I have a missed business call, it won’t take a second.”

Virgil and Remus watched him go, Patton giving him the smallest nod in acknowledgement for now as the conversation swerved back into more parenting talk. 

Janus wasn’t sure how long Patton would give it before he came out to the front porch to talk; they’d had the system in place ever since they realised Emile would get curious and listen into their conversations sometimes. Missed business calls for Janus, another long catch up with his Aunt Patty for Patton. Both were code phrases for the same thing: we need to talk.

Patton had given it five minutes before he’d come to check in on Janus. The quietness of the surrounding neighbourhood let them indulge in the tinkling from an obviously homemade wind chime dangling above the porch.

“..... I was afraid you’d be disappointed in me.”, came Janus’ quiet admission under the warm sun rays that tickled his already partially dry skin, “Or worse. That you wouldn’t want me if I told you-”

“That’s ridiculous, Jan.”

Patton rarely interrupted anyone - purely out of politeness and the goodness of his heart - but he wouldn’t stand to hear his husband of eight years talk about himself that way, “If you keep talking bad about yourself I’m going to physically fight you.”

There was no bite to his words, but more a firm tone that settled Janus’ nerves somewhat.

“I suppose, but still. I understand that you’re most likely upset with me. I lied to you. And admittedly to Remus as well, but that’s-”

“I’m not upset.”

Pat gently caressed Janus’ rough cheek, paying his skin condition no mind as he reassured him, “I am a little disappointed.”, there’s the fatherly tone, “But none of this would ever be enough to make me leave you or anything if that’s what you were worried about. You’re stuck with me.”. Patton shot Janus a sunshine smile and the cutest blep he’d ever seen, to which the latter felt his heart positively melt, “And you’re stuck with a snake boy.”

The way Patton laughed ignited his bones and sent every nerve ending in his body soaring on high. By Gods, he loved him. Of course, Janus knew he loved Patton since they’d first met in their dreams - both being rather late to establish their connection at their early 20s - from the moment he’d laid eyes on him and heard the words, “Hey there! I’m sorry it took so long to meet you! I guess I was .... Patton-Pending!”. 

“Seriously, where’re all there snake jokes slithering their way out of?”

Janus held in a snort-laugh, “Ah, I used to own a pet snake in college. She escaped the first night I stayed in the dorms and caused a minor lockdown. Once I got her back, the nickname got spread around like wildfire thanks to Remus calling me Snake Face affectionately for months.”

Janus’ sigh screamed exhaustion, but his tone spoke of fondness. Patton chuckled sweetly, “At least he didn’t mean it in a mean way. Otherwise he’d be hiss-tory if I got a hold of him!”

Goddammit, Janus was weak for his husband’s awful puns. Stifling the belly laugh that wanted to break out of him in favour of a curt snort of amusement, “I can take care of myself, fangs you very much.”. Their mutual punning session went back and forth until a knock at the door behind them reminded the two that they weren’t at home. Virgil’s voice came from the other side of the door, 

“You both alright out there?”

Patton quickly called back, “Yep! We’ll be right back in a second!”

“Cool, I’m making hot cocoa, just lemme know how you like it once you’re done.”

Janus sighed and stood up. He already began to feel tense again, but Patton gently rose and took hold of his hands, 

“You should apologise to him, y’know. Remus, I mean.”, Patton clarified, “I know you noticed.”

Patton didn’t clarify further, he knew Janus knew what he meant. The way Remus had covered up how much what he’d said before hurt. Besides, he already had something to apologise to the eccentric trash rat for anyway so..

“I know. Can you keep Virgil company for me in the meantime?”

Patton nodded enthusiastically, “Of course! They promised to show me their tattoos later anyway!”

Janus wasn’t surprised his husband was enthralled by something so artsy, chuckling softly to himself as he and Patton rejoined the others only to walk in on the Dukes rather intensely making out just shy of the kitchen island. Patton averted his eyes while Janus rolled his and just cleared his throat undeterred. 

“I do hope we’re not interrupting anything.”

Just like this morning, Virgil nearly leapt out of their skin and embarrassedly ushered Remus out of the kitchen. Patton decided to swap in and help Virgil prep the drinks, while Janus sat with Remus in the living room once again.

“I owe you an apology, Remus.”, Janus took a deep breath in, “Actually, I owe you two.“

He hazarded a look at Remus, anticipating perhaps shock or surprise, but instead the human embodiment of a muscle cramp was trying to sit upside down on the sofa next to Janus. If he were honest, Janus was more disappointed in himself for not assuming Remus would be the same mangey gremlin he’d been used to.

“You’re aware I’m attempting to be serious?”

“Yep.”

“And you’re going to continue sitting like that?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you aware that talking to you is like attempting to win a game of “But Why?” with a three year old?” 

“Mhm!”

Janus massaged his temples and Remus, thankfully, relented. He didn’t remove himself from the seat and sit like a human being, he simply flicked Janus in the side.

“You act like I’m a bitch to talk to, but fucking hell, cutting the umbilical cord was less taxing than this.”

The snarky remark did get a chortle out of Janus, “Ah, then Remy’s..?“

“Yep! Fresh outta my insides!”, Remus cackled. Janus rolled his eyes. 

“Charming.”

“Nah, that’s my brother, I’m more….. the Demented type.”

“I’m aware,”, Janus retorted, “I remember having to drag you across campus to get your stomach pumped after the Everything Cocktail you downed at the annual Halloween Party.”

Remus let out a barking laugh and nearly slid off the sofa, “In my defense, the hot sauce, caramel, chicken strip, coffee, shrimp, marinara sauce, peanut butter, and six spoons of… was it horseradish or mayo?”

“Horseradish.”, Janus shuddered.

“That’s the bitch.”, Remus continued, “They weren’t so bad. The celery was what fucking sucked ass. And the carrots.”

Ah, the nostalgia. 

Granted, the trip down memory lane was the most wonderful mix of chaotic and bumpy, but the longer he took to address the issue, the worse Janus felt. He must’ve let his expression slip because Remus immediately stopped his rambling and finally let out a tired exhale,

“Listen, if what you said earlier is still eating at you like a piranha in your gut, then it’s fine. Really. I mean sure, it sucked cactus dick knowing you didn’t feel as serious about us as I did at the time, but-”

“It wasn’t true.”, Janus cut in, “What I’d said. I was trying to soften the impact, I suppose. You did and still honestly do mean a lot to me, Remus.”

There’s the shock he’d expected. Remus’ eyes were trained fully on Janus, waiting for a sign of deceit, but thankfully, he detected nothing.

“Huh. Cool.”

It was pretty lackluster, but Janus could tell Remus was glad. At least for now.

“Actually, I wouldn’t get too comfortable yet, I have another apology to issue. Or, I suppose, another lie to set right.”

Oh boy. Janus inhaled, he’d gotten this far. No backing out now.

“When we broke up, I told you it was simply because I didn’t want to date you anymore. Then the week after, my soulmate miraculously appeared in my dreams. But that was a two faced lie.”

Remus cocked his head to the side, wincing while he tried to shuffle around and get comfy due to his gravity defying seating arrangement.

“So…. what happened for real?”

Janus sighed, “.... The week before we broke up, I met him in my dreams. Patton just appeared, and I fell in love instantly. I… I felt awful. Like I was cheating on both of you-”

“Jan-”

“Please, Remus, let me finish.”

Remus sighed, crossing his arms, which looked rather comical when upside down.

“I know you and I always said there’d be no shame if the connection eventually happened to emerge, yet when I saw him there for the first time I just-”

“You felt guilty anyway.”

It was Janus’ turn to be surprised as Remus finally rolled off of the sofa to climb back on and sit… less like a cryptid.

“Same thing happened the first time I saw Virgil.”

Remus snickered at the further shocked expression Janus sported.

“Yeah, I know. Me, King Garbage, Lord of the Thots, no brains or remorse…. feeling guilty. But I get it. It’s really different the first time you see ‘em. Either way, you shouldn’t feel bad for feeling worried or being scared, Snake Face. Although it does hurt like a skewered ballsack that you lied to me about it though. So..”

In retaliation for such a heinous crime, Remus reached over and grabbed Janus’ fancy lil hat, and with a practiced ease that had his ex both enraged and astonished, ring tossed the thing through the small opening in the window, landing it in the small decorative bird bath just outside.

“...... Remus Duke, before I beat the everloving shit out of you for old times sakes,”, Janus uttered lowley, threatening but with a familiar fondness that reminded Remus of their days causing havoc on campus and speed bullshitting essays like it was their birthright, “I want you to know that that little stunt was incredibly impressive...”

--

Upstairs, oblivious to the conversation and scuffle their fathers were enthralled in, Remy and Emile had mostly been playing games, watching cartoons and chatting away together. They’d just put on some Adventure Time when Emile looked over at Remy, noting he was falling asleep. Emile considered trying to do the same to surprise him in their dream space when Remy jolted back awake.

“Oh shit, how long was I out babes?”

Emile shook his head, “Not long. Does… that happen often?”

“Like, all the time. My sleep cycle is a roulette wheel, I’m sure of it.”, Remy lamented, shuffling closer to Emile on the edge of the bed, carefully not to knock over his laptop.

“Do you think our parents are getting along? I’m gonna like, throw hands if they ruin things with their adult bullshit.”

Emile shyly shuffled closer, leaning his head upon Remy’s, who savoured the feel of the slightly taller boy’s coiled hair against his forehead. Downstairs, Emile could hear a scuffle alongside his Papa’s worried attempts to calm down whatever was happening, and began to recognise Virgil’s annoyed interjections. He wasn’t too distressed however; his father’s upbeat tone and what sounded like Remus’ maniacal cackle assured him there was probably nothing to be worried about.

“Something tells me they’re getting along just fine.”, Emile smiled brightly at Remy, “How about one more episode then we can go check?”

----

Hoooly shit this took ages.

I promise I’m workin to catch up, I’m gonna do this or die tryin’!! For small clarifications:

- Virgil is NB/Agender and uses They/Them

- Remus is a Trans Man and uses He/Him

I didn’t specify much for the other characters purely because I could see them being anywhere on the gender spectrum, they can be whatever you prefer to read them as.

I really dunno how well this one read if I’m honest, it just kept branching from cute Remile focused fic to Families’ First Meeting kinda thing???

@tsshipmonth2020

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account   @cateye-glasses   @fandomsofrandom 

[lauraashley93]

I Don’t Love You Anymore

Part 3

Here is is, friends! The last part! I hope you guys enjoy!

Reader and Angel finally see each other. Will they make it work or go their separate ways?

Warnings: angst, fluff and swearing.

It had been a week and You still didn’t know what to do. His voice.. his amazing, beautiful, soothing voice. You didn’t realize how much you actually missed him. So much better than what your dreams had given you. You felt bad for hanging up but you didn’t know what else to do. You did get brave enough to text Ez back two days later and apologize but you couldn’t handle it. He replied sweet as ever that he understood and he was sorry he just wanted you to know about everything. And now that you did you didn’t know how to feel. You laid in your bed as silent tears fell down your cheek. You missed Angel. You loved him, and you always would. But could you go back? Could you take the risk and run to him? You weren’t sure. So for now you were staying put.

———-at the clubhouse——

Angel was acting like everything was fine. Trying to put up some front. Even though Ez told him how hard you took everything and what you went through he was trying to ward off the hurt he felt when you hung up on Him. Even though he knew he 100% deserved that he was using the anger to block the sadness he was feeling, the Loneliness.

Coco was worried. Easily seeing through his friends act.

“Aye yo Boy Scout. Is he okay?”

Ez shrugged “I don’t know man. I think this is calm before the storm. I keep trying to convince y/n to at least come visit but I mean, I can’t blame her for not doing it either. I just wish I could do something.

“We all do Boy Scout, we all do. We hate seeing him like that. Hell, we all mis y/n. Ain’t been the same wit out her ya know?”

Gilly walked up then. “Yeah, man, I miss her laugh. It was fucking contagious. “

Bishop came around the corner just then cutting off your conversation.

“Alright guys, Galindo has a run for us. We’re out in ten. “ he looks around “Where is Angel?”

Just then, like he’d heard Bishop ask, Angel walked through. Everyone staring at him like he’s a ticking time bomb.

“What the fuck are you guys looking at? You should take a picture. Wack to it or something. “ he went to go walk off and Bishop stopped him.

“We have a run for Galindo, let’s go.”

The guys headed for their bikes and Bishop stops Angel.

“You good Hermano? Or do you need to sit this out? Cause I need you there. ALL of you.”

“Angel bit the inside of his cheek trying to hold back any smart ass comments. He knew Bishop meant well but he didn’t need anyone questioning his ability.

“I’m good presidente, I’m all here. “ And with that he was out the door.

———————————————————————

It was 3:40 Am. You were sound asleep when your phone started ringing. You swore if it was the new girl at work asking for guy advice again you were gonna lose your shit. You did not care and you were losing all patience with the situation. You grabbed it not even bothering to look at who it was and answered it.

“Hello?” You said through a yawn.

“Y/n, look, I know I said I wouldn’t call you but..”

“Ez, it is almost 4 o’clock in the fucking morning. You better be dying or I’m going to kill you myself.”

It was quiet. You could have swore you heard ez sob out. You sat up straight all trace of sleepiness gone.

“Ez, what is it? Please..” your voice cracked

“It’s, it’s Angel. We were on a run and he. “

“Ez.” You were crying now. “Please, please don’t tell me he’s dead. He has to be okay. Right?”

Ez sniffed and swallowed hard.

“He’s alive, but it’s bad y/n. Someone knocked him, Coco and Riz off their bikes. We were hot on their trail but they fired at us and two shots hit Angel.”

You are sobbing at this point. You didn’t think it was possible for you to feel anymore heart break than you did the day Angel broke up with you but here you were wishing you could relive that moment over 10 times if you never had to experience this. “Is everyone else okay?? Is he going to live?”

“Everyone else is fine. A little scratched up but they are okay. “ Ez sighed “I don’t know. That’s why I’m calling you. I know, I know you two don’t really have good standing but I know how you feel and I knew you’d want to know.. maybe you’d, even want to come see him? Look, it’s up to you I just wanted you to know. I have to go. Love you hermana.

And with that the line clicked off and you dropped to the ground. Screaming, crying, sobbing uncontrollably. You could feel yourself hyperventilating. You can’t believe the world was doing this to you. What did you do to deserve this kind of pain? Why would the world try to take the most precious human from all of humanity? Sure, he had his faults but he meant well.. you screamed again and you aunt came rushing in.

“Y/n! Y/n! What’s wrong?? What happened?? What’s going on baby? Talk to me!!!”

You are trying to calm down and you finally manage to talk between sobs.

“It’s.. *sob* Angel *sob* he’s been in an accident and *sob* they don’t know if he’ll make it.”

By this time you’re a hysterical mess with snot everywhere and tear stained cheeks. You aunt is holding you tightly and rubbing your back trying to calm you down.

“Hush baby, I know it’s scary but I need you to calm down, pack a bag and tell me where I’m booking our flight to.

You blinked fast not sure you heard her.

“Wha..what?”

“You heard me baby. You need to go see him.”

You cried again and nodded.

“But, what if, what if he..”

“No.” She cut you off. “There are no what if’s here. Now, go, hurry.”

You smiled and got up and started throwing things in a bag. You don’t take much. A couple change of clothes and the essentials as you were getting your stuff together you told your aunt where you needed to go and she went online and ordered the plane tickets. You’re waiting to board the plane and somehow you still haven’t ran out of tears you’ve tried to call and text Ez but he hasn’t responded. You’re hoping at this point that no news is good news. You start to get anxious and start pacing back and forth.

“Y/n baby you need to relax. Sit down and just breathe. You will be there in five hours tops. “ your aunt tried to sooth you.

“I know, I know I just.. what am I gonna say? What do I do? What am I even doing? Am I saying goodbye? Am I trying to fix things? Am I just there to make sure he’s okay? What do I do when I get there??”

You aunt sighs as she grabs your hand and pulls you next to her.

“Baby, all that will come later. You need to focus on just being there for him. He needs to get better and pull through. You can worry about the complicated stuff later. If you ask me, you being this upset and traveling to get to him, you already have your answer. “

——————————————————————-

Time seems to go by slow when you’re in a rush.. sludge. It’s like you’re just stuck. You’re at the hospital and you feel so small. You’re trying to run but it’s like you’re going in slow motion but finally, you get there. Everyone is there. Your family. Bishop and Ez are who you spot first you run up to them, seeing the saddened look on their face.

“Ez, Bishop. Where is he? Is he okay?”

They are just staring at you. Why aren’t they saying anything? Your heart begins to race and you can feel the tears building up behind your eyes.

“Princesa, why don’t you sit down” Bishop gestured to a seat with his hand.

“No. Stop beating around the fucking bush. Where is Angel? I need to see him”

You start crying and Ez grabs you in a hug.

“I’m sorry, y/n. There’s nothing they could do. “

“NO! THATS NOT TRUE. “ You are all but screaming at them. Beating against Ez’s Chest. “He can’t, he can’t be gone!!! I didn’t get to tell him that I love him. I didn’t get to tell him I need him. Please, PLEASE.”

You fall to the ground as Ez guides you gently to the floor. All the Mayan men surrounding you as you are screaming.

“Y/n! Y/n!!” You feel someone shaking you saying your name and it feels muffled. You slowly open your eyes and as the adjust you see your aunt beside you worry creasing her forehead. The ugly colored seats of the plane in front of you. You look around confused but then, a sigh of relief washes over you. A dream, it was a terrible dream, no nightmare.

“Baby girl? You were tossing and turning. You started crying “no no” I was trying so hard to get you up. Are you okay??”

You nodded slowly. “I, I had a nightmare that I was too late. He didn’t make it and I didn’t get to tell him that I love him. I need to make sure he knows that. “

Your aunt smiles a comforting smile at you and holds your hand.

“You will, we’re here baby. Now we just need to get an Uber to the hospital and you can tell him everything. “

The Uber drive didn’t take as long as you expected. Your nerves were twisting and turning as you approached the hospital. You had a sense of deja vu as you pulled into the front of the hospital.

“I’ll catch up with you, go ahead. Go see your love. “ your aunt patted your hand and you tried to give her a smile. You got out and started walking to the doors. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding and you walk up to the desk about to ask to see Angel a voice stops you.

“Y/n? Is that you?”

You smile slightly as you turn around.

“Bishop!” Tears start streaming down your face as you run to him. You practically jump into his arms and he holds you tight. “It’s been way too long.” You breathe in the familiar scent of cigarette smoke and leather as you reluctantly pull back you sniffle back a few tears.

“How is he? Is he, is he okay?”

“He’s in critical condition. But he’s holding on. Boy still has some fight in him. He’s fucking stubborn, kid. Don’t worry he will be fine.

You knew he was trying to make you feel better. You could see the uncertainty written all over his face. But you nodded and agreed anyway.

“Am I aloud to go see him?”

“I think he’d like that”

You turned around so quick you might have gotten whiplash. Ez was standing there. Eyes blood shot. Tiredness and worry creasing his forehead. You’re sobbing now as Ez is pulling you into his arms. He just held you until you calmed down.

“I got here as fast as I could. Is he awake?”

Ez shook his head. “No, but I’m glad you came. I could tell he wasn’t trying to fight for his life. Like he was giving up. So I told him, I kinda told him I called you and you said you were on your way”

Ez rubbed the back of his head as you wiped away the tears.

“But, you didn’t even know if i would.

“No, but I had a feeling. And hey, it worked. I don’t know what it was but he started making progress so wether you showed or not, at least he was trying.”

You just hugged him again and new wave of tears sliding down your cheek. Ez grabbed your hand and lead you back to Angel’s room. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes before walking through the door. There he was. Your love. Your heart. Your whole world in a bed with tubes and wires everywhere. His color looked grey, and even though he was sleeping he didn’t look peaceful. You walked slowly toward the bed as a new wave of tears trickled down your cheek. You tried to control your sobs but you just couldn’t as you sat down in the chair next to the bed.

You held his hand and laid your head on top of his hand. “Oh Angel.” Your voice broke. “Please, Angel. Please keep fighting. Please. I love you, I need you and we can’t fix things if you go. Please, don’t leave me. I’m sorry I didn’t stay. I’m sorry I hung up on you.. I just. I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t but I just need you to wake up so I can tell you I love you. I never stopped. I always will love you. “

He didn’t wake up, it wasn’t like in the movies where they magically get better but what did happen melted your heart. He squeezed your hand. You swear he did. You popped your head up. “Angel! That’s right baby. Keep fighting. I’m here. I swear I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

It didn’t happen again but it gave your heart hope. And so you swore you wouldn’t move from this spot until he woke up.

——————

*Angels POV*

All he could hear was the reoccurring beeping. His mind was fuzzy. What happened? He felt sore. “Why can’t I open my eyes? And what is that annoying ass beeping noise??” His mind was racing. Then, over the Beeping he heard it. Your voice. The most angelic sound he has ever heard. “y/n! I’m here baby. I’m here. Please don’t cry. Why are you crying?” He squeezed your hand and that was all he remembered before he felt more exhaustion taking over and fell back into a dreamless sleep.

————5 days later———

*Angles POV*

His head hurt, his chest hurt, hell his whole body hurt. He could hear voices but they were muffled. His eyes slowly blinking open. Everything was foggy at first. But as everything became clear he thought he might die of his heart stopping. It wasn’t a dream. He DID hear you. You were there. You looked tired. Eyes blood shot and puffy. Your hair was a mess but he had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. He felt a tear slide down his face and he went to go to her but were stopped. You looked down at all the cords and IVs. “You’re awake! Oh precious Angel, you’re awake. “ you looked up as you hear hear speak. You reached for her and she hurried quickly to you.

————————————

*your POV*

You were sitting in the same small room that you have been since you arrived. Wishing, praying, hoping whatever you could do for Angel to wake up. You were just about to doze off when something caught your eye. You turned to see Angel trying to move. Tears pouring from your eyes. “You’re awake! Oh precious Angel. You’re awake.” You got up and hurried to him and cupped his face gently sobbing. “Are you okay? Are you hurting? Do you need anything? Do you remember what happened?”

He smiled. Same ole y/n. Always making sure everyone is okay and taken care of and going a mile a minute.

Ez appeared at his other side and placed a gentle hand on angel’s shoulder.

“Hey brother. Glad to have you back.”

Angel was still looking at you. He couldn’t believe you were standing there. He thought he would never see you again. He finally tore his eyes away from you and looked at his brother.

“Ez, what happened?”

“I’m gonna go get everyone while you explain.” You smiled and went to leave but Angel grabbed your hand. He didn’t care. He was afraid you were gonna disappear and he didn’t want you to leave. You could see the worry in his glossy eyes so you leaned down and put your forehead to his.

“I’m not going far. I will be right back, I swear.” You kissed his forehead and it sent his heart into a frenzy as you walked away to get everyone.

It was a busy couple hours. Everyone in and out. Doctors coming to check on him. Finally at the end of the night everyone has gone home. Except you. You never leave. You sat next to him. He looked at you. He had so much to say.

“Angel, i.”

“No.” He cut you off. “I was an ass. I fucked up and I’m sorry. I was trying to keep you from getting hurt and I.. “ he started to cry “I made it worse. I hurt you more than the club shit would have and I’m sorry. I love you y/n. I always have. I can’t tell you how sorry I am and i will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if I have to. I missed you. I missed you so fucking much. I understand if you don’t want to give me another chance, but I just needed you to know. Fuck, I hate myself.”

You stared at him. Tears streaming down your face. You knew he was truly sorry. You knew any other person would have ran and told him you weren’t coming back but you just wanted to hold him and heal every broken piece of him. And that’s what you would do. You didn’t care if he was wrong. You loved him and you were tired Of waiting for that to go away. So you answered him the only way you knew how. You kissed him. You kissed him hard and fast his lips urgently moving against yours. He was holding you as close as he could never wanting to let you go. But all too soon you pulled away. You kept your eyes closed and placed your hand on his cheek.

“Please, don’t hate yourself. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I need you, too, Angel. I love you and I never stopped. I’m sorry I ran, I just couldn’t stay. It was too hard and now, I wish I had of. And I’m sorry”

“Querida, please don’t apologize to me. You have nothing to be sorry for. I deserved everything I went through. You, however, didn’t deserve any of that and I will hate myself forever for being the reason you felt any amount of pain. But if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I swear.”

You wiped the tears from your eyes and nodded your head.

“Angel, I would love nothing more than that.”

He pulled you close and he kissed you, softer this time but still just as needy he swore he’d never let you go again.

—————————————————————-

*two months later*

Everything had went back to normal. Angel got to come home 3 days after you guys talked, your aunt wished you both the best as she went back home and everything seemed okay again.

It was a Friday and it was another wild night at the clubhouse. Party was in full swing as you sat at the bar nursing your beer a smile on your face. This was home. This is where you were meant to be and this is where you would stay. You were watching coco and Bishop play a round of pull when all of the sudden Angel stood on the bar behind you, startling you.

“AYE CAN I PLEASE HAVE EVERYONES ATTENTION?” all eyes on Angel as he jumps off the bar and drapes his arm around you. “I know everyone knows that I am in love with y/n. Everyone also knows I fucked it up. “ you looked at him about to object but he put his finger up. “I don’t understand how such an amazing, beautiful, and caring woman would ever love me back and I can’t understand even more how she could forgive me for being such an idiot. But she did. I know we just assumed we picked up where we left off but I can’t do that.” You furrowed your brows. Confused on what he was saying. He turned to you holding your hand. “I promised you I would spend forever making things up to you. I intend to do just that but a start to forever needs something. Something that is and has always been yours.”

Angel got down on one knee and pulled out the ring you had given back the day you left. You had tears in your eyes and a smile on your face as he held your hand and looked at you with those beautiful big brown eyes.

“Y/n, will you please do me the honor of making me the happiest man in the world? Let me love and cherish you all the days of our lives and remind you everyday that you are queen of my heart. Y/n, will you marry me?”

You were crying as you nodded your head eagerly. “Yes, Angel Reyes! I will!

He smiled as he slid the ring on your finger and took you up in a hug and kissed you. Everyone clapping and cheering for you two.

“I hope you’re ready to spend forever with me, cause I’m never letting you go again.”

Angel kissed you again and you smiled cupping his cheek gently with your hand.

“I’ve never been more ready or more sure about anything in my life. I can’t wait to be Mrs Angel Reyes.”

———The end——-

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