#and now i cant do it at all | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

batcavescolony · 7 months ago

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Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

#katniss everdeen #the hunger games trilogy #the hunger games #primrose everdeen #hunger games #batcavescolony reads the hunger games #suzanne collins #'now it seems i have become someone precious' NOW? GIRL BFFR you're their hunter girl #and this isn't negative just bffr girl #your WHOLE DISTRICT did the three finger salute that you yourself says means admiration thanks and goodbye to someone you love and on top is #old a rarely used. your WHOLE DISTRICT decided in that moment that they needed to bring back this sign of respect for YOU #...................................................................#idk why some people are thinking i mean this as negative i don't she is unreliable but its not intentional. like when Peeta heart stoped in #CF she doesn't know what Finnick is doing at first cus she doesn't know off the top of her head what cpr is. she also thinks Peeta after the #reaping is acting for the cameras. he isnt we dind out later his mom basically told him Katniss was gonna win and he would die. obviously #shes not doing it on purpose shes just for lack of better words uneducated? as in she doesn't know everything shes not omnipotent #so when Plutarch (? second games guy) shows her his mokingjay hiden watch shes like *wtf that's weird?* then the people traveling to #district 13 show her the mockingjay cookie and explains it and she then goes on the difference between his watch and their cookie #and why does eveyone act as if district 12 is as bad as the capital? they CANT help Katniss and Prim in the way you want. they cant give #them food. none of them have any! and im not putting iton Katniss but they hid they needed food so they could stay together. it sounds like #some of you are in this our world mentally of what people do after a loved one dies (brings food constantly checks on them etc) district 12 #cant do that. they dont have food and they're all suffering. you cant give someone food when you have none to give. then theirs the fact #that peeta DID help. Peeta buring the bread and tossing some to her then taking a beating from his mom is a HUGE thing in the books.#he used his resources to help her like you all said someone should.#district 12 DID (rip) care about Katniss before the hunger games. why do you think she was allowed to hunt? or how her trades were good #these are the little ways 12 can shows Katniss they love her. but again Katniss doesn't see this and YES its because she had ptsd before the #hunger games as well. i swear some of you make it seem like d12 was all living a life of luxury and glaring down at Katniss.#other things that show Katniss is in hight standing with at least her people of d12 is her dad was known enough through d12 for peeta dad to #comment on his singing along with his commenting on her mom. also her mom is a healer in the community. yeah her parents arnt the top but #of d12 but they are/were definitely high staning in the Seam.

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andragoras-in-vanity · 4 days ago

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bruh why do my feet hurt. like the bottom of my feet, the same way if id been walking for hours. i dint walk anymore, i cant, but i should not feel such pain as soon as my soles touch any surface. its not even just if im standing, its just any time the bottom of my feet touch anything PLEASE i cannot live like this, it cannot be another new normal. i want to walk again like i used to. id get tired fast but i had nowhere to be so it was okay, but now it hurts. i hoped that once i move and my mental health gets better id be able to start working up to walking again but it feels more and more unlikely every day

i wanted to do a graveyard tour when i go on vacation, its 90 minutes and thats pushing it for me if theres no benches. youd think this is the point i give in and try to find a wheelchair but i dont have friends around, and my family isnt supportive of that. which means they wouldt stop me from using one, might even help me pay for it, but they wouldnt push me even though i cant push myself. i know im going to have to push myself for stuff like the clava cairns or the beaches and castles, but fuck. the graveyard is accessible enough for a wheelchair...but i probably wont be able to use one.

its impossible to communicate just how scary it to feel your pain grow and lose abilities right before your eyes with no one around who you can really rely on. all my friends are far away, if they get it theyre not close enough to help. my only hope is a partner who wont mind having to put in a little extra sometimes. but im too fucking tired to try to meet someone. i never go out because im miserable here and im so sick of the internet and dating apps, how have other people in worse conditions than me ended up so loved and so helped and i couldnt even get that when i was mostly able bodied?

even assuming i could use a wheelchair, that building would be somewhat accessible, i also have to worry about a 9+ hour flight and lots of driving. i should be okay on the flight but cars make me motion sick, and theyre on the opposite side of the road. food thats even slightly not what im use to, has the smallest amout of filler ingredients like palm oil or soy, and my guts rip themselves apart. this is ten days ill be away and anxious abt my dog. even if my legs werent a worry, my stomach still would be.

i cant even say im scared tbh, im just sad. life was supposed to get better after 17 but its only gotten worse and im sick to death of this and i dont want to die but i dont want to live life like this.

i cant move away fast enough to start over somewhere that feels like home in a big old haunted house with a nice garden and tall trees. im afraid i wont get to move away and april will come and ill have to go to court over disability benefits and be rejected again despite not having been able to work for years.

im just sad, and im sore and theres no treatment for this pain.

#the one thing thats a tiny sliver of hope is that theres a chain coffee house there #and they have a latte made with lions mane #i dont know what that tastes like but its supposed to be one of the bes trhings you can take for fibro pain #and mine is severe this isnt mild discomfort this is pure agony #i dont know it taste like or if itll work or if i can even tolerate the taste of shroom #but if it helps then those shops are fairly common and i can get a latte if the pain starts getting unbearable #im so excited for this trip and the pain ill be in will be worth it #but i dont want my body to give out and thats a very real possibility #i could hit the floor and not be able to get up on my own again...this isnt just an ugh i dont want to hurt thing #but im scared and sad and i want to be a little selfish and know what its like to be taken care of and loved #loved in a way that acknowledges this is part of who i am and my life #its not just an aspect its a big part of me and i want that to be loved too #i want someone who enjoys that i rely on them and their presence holds me up and what they do impacts my wellbeing #i just want to be loved if i cant stop hurting if i cant get my mobility back #im scared ill never know what thats like but for this trip and how my disability effect it im just sad #theres castles and glens i cant go to #even in a wheelchair they wouldnt exactly be accessible #but still #i miss walking i miss walking kilometers away for nothing through the wilderness #but even when i could i never had anyone to share in it with #and now i cant do it at all #i kinda want to cry rn #dont bother trying to reassure or pity me neither help me and im worth more than pity #i still have my teeth even if my legs have failed me #but i really am just sad and lonely and my legs burn like fire

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wasyago · 3 months ago

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tango doodles

first you make up a guy and then you struggle to draw him correctly

#i need to stop drawing all the faces in 3/4 this is just silly.#gahh #anyways yes! im still on my quest to make tango look at least a little older #because every time i hear his voice the image in my head doesn't fit the sound at all.#dude has a raspy voice that doesn't exactly fit a little guy. if i could id draw him with more realistic proportions but i cant.#because um. reasons.#i can't just give up on my creachur cmon now...#ive noticed recently i tweaked a lot of my designs to be less cartoony. not sure if i like that actually. hm.#man i keep saying stuff like 'oh i gotta make weirder designs' but then i do the exact opposite??? huh?#i should stop trying to be normal. it's really hurting my image #GOD anyways. tags under the post yes.#tangotek #my art #sketch

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hinamie · 7 months ago

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sry i have chronic only draws megumi disorder the doctor said it's terminal :/

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #fushiguro megumi #megumi fushiguro #fanart #jjk fanart #megumi #me: 'i like yuuji and megumi Equally :)' also me:#i cant help it hes so fun to draW hes so easy to draw i love you i love you i love youuuuuu #also this is kiiind of me making good on that poll i did forever ago saying id draw catboys . so as promised here is A Catboy :3 #hes sooooo meowmeow hes so gd CUTE god i love . fushiguro mEGUMI #to b fair i Do like yuuji and megu equally ffgsdjfdjh #sometimes u just gotta spend the whole entire day fully rendering what was supposed to be a megu sketch sheet #but now it is . just a char sheet by talos this cant keep happening #this all started bc i still want to practice/tweak the way i draw faces but it would appear i cannot control myself #also been loving drawing the cat megumi plush gddff fushiguro mewgumi is my favourite animal crossing villager #anyway so much for working on speed this was a fun 10 hours #its ok . i do it fr him <3 geto voice i dont mind being killed by you

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eelo · 2 years ago

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#russia #ukraine #ukraine war #russia mllitary coup #spn #destiel #i love you meme #am i doing this right?#i cant believe this is happening #i was about to go to sleep but guess i am awake all night now following these news #current news #world news

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drenched-in-sunlight · 6 months ago

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i love the DLC man

#elden ring #miquella the unalloyed #promised consort radahn #I’ve been thinking about how despite all the talk of age of compassion… Miquella’s first spell as a god is an offensive incantation #with a wide af damage radius 💀💀💀#meanwhile Marika who built her age upon violence… her spells are all healing and defense buffs #and her first spell as a God is a little tree that heals a wide area #she was still trying to heal her ppl to the bitter end AND gunning for revenge. there’s a kind of heartbreaking honesty to it #the cruel irony in the DLC story is crazy #really show how badly Miq had strayed from his original path after forsaking Trina #then that meme pops in my head ajshsjhsjhs #now i do think the vow is two-way btw Radahn just got cold feet near the end #the only thing i dont like about the DLC is i cant draw jokes without explaining I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS i think their actions are valid !!#like having to pull up a whole lore presentation slide for this #yes i think it's funny as hell that Miq did show Radahn why he should not fuck around and find out

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wonnzda · 6 months ago

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ARE YOU KIDDIN ME

#dragon prince #dragon prince season 6 #leola #aaravos #How dare this show do this to me #i cant belive me calling aaravos “daddy” was foreshadowing #i hate it all #i need season 7 now #stardust

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obsob · 1 year ago

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oooooooooough i love you i love you i love you!!!! hand in loving hand !!!!!!

#mine #cats #i was like losing it over th colouring yesterday like this SUCKS and then looked at it 2day n was like. anyway #ive been unstoppable since ive figured out how 2 do glowy things #me n my partner went ice skating this evening !! so so fun #i love how girls will just peacefully hang out in the centre ice doing spins n boys will fast and furious skate around at 100mph #like we dont need to be doing all that #as soon as i see a boy w hockey skates enter the ice i am now leaving the ice #anyway....i got a slightly dubious fantasy audiobook 2day we will....see...how it is #whenever i read a fantasy book written by a man my hackles are up i am scenting the air i am growling #have i finished assassins fate u ask.....no :3 #its been sitting at 30% for like 4 months i cant bring myself 2 read more KJBDSSK #there is like so much book left. so much that can go wrong #i will finish it soon i prommy i prommy...n then listen 2 th tawny man audiobooks :3 #ngl this fitz n fool trilogy isnt super doing it 4 me im not finding it as Invigorating for sm reason #still good !! but def my least fave of th three trilogies #anyway. i am going 2 bed

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heartorbit · 6 months ago

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the narcissist fools himself

#IM GETTING A BAD GRADE IN POLYSHO WEEK WHICH IS NORMAL TO FEAR AND POSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE.#project sekai #pjsk #prsk #proseka #polysho #polysho week 2024 #tsukasa tenma #emu otori #nene kusanagi #rui kamishiro #domt scroll dowm to when i pisted the sketch a year ago actually. should i delete that #Nah who give a fuck #They dont need to know that i drew this over a year ago and touched it up c all of my other drawings for this theme sre too ambitious #I cant draw a fucking merrygoround. Who am i kidding.#I posted this now so i can stop adding minute gradient maps to it for a 0.2 percent color difference. must sleep. farewell.#more polysho week to come. the day 5 prompt.. well. heh #also FUCK i want to do day 4 too bc i love the yokai theme but thats Today and i AAAAAHG ok stop itz GOONIGHT.#funny drawing for the guy that turned romeo and juliet into fortnite. stop crying and hop on duos

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zvezdacito · 4 months ago

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*dear theodosia audio*

Look at my son

Pride is not the word I'm looking for

#skully j. graves #twst spoilers #i love all of his sprite expressions brah #this shit gets so serious for me he might unironically be my second twst fave now💀 <- “so much for being a free thinker” yeah i know but it #-cant be helped. bro is too endearing. too whimsical.#his initial art did not do his character and charm justice tbh

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sharkylad · 5 months ago

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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.

Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?

Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.

The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.

Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.

It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.

I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.

He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.

#gravity falls #grunkle stan #stanley pines #STANLEYYYYYY #STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants #Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with #the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten #The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you #that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help #If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once #Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON #I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming #But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything #Like he really mattered so little to the people around him #and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too #I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him #The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things #And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year #Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people #the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better #its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand

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ameliadoesstuff · 4 months ago

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something about s1-3 zane is just. oh this guy is so silly and friend-shaped. look at his friendly boy swag. like????? how could you ever hate him. the ultimate silly

not to hate on his titanium era because frankly it is very cool. but the essence of s1-3 zane is unique and uncapturable. he is just a little guy you can put in your pocket. his default facial expression is so inherently funny. there are no thoughts behind these eyes. i would trust him with my life.

#its almost 3am and i cant sleep HELP ME #ninjago #lego ninjago #zane julien #ninjago zane #my post #does this make sense? i am so fond of him like platonically let me just state this isnt any funny business. i just think hes neat #all the ninja have been my favourite at one point or another in my life (its now cole) but this era of zane i will forever be biased for #again im not being a hater of the new state of the show lol most of the characters are way better but zane is the exception imo #you can't improve upon perfection i guess x #AMELIA GO TO BED ITS 3AM #me: hmmmm why is my sleep schedule so screwed? why do i keep waking up at midday?#and then this is the shit i do at 3am #average amelia antics #amelia isn't funny

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just-null · 14 days ago

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Yknow that pic where that drunk lady kissed lipstick marks all over her cat? All I can imagine is doing this to the clones each time I get home