#thats just. an insane amount of angst

[reidmania]

control | spencer reid

summary; reader has a hard time with eating habits due to lack of control, thankfully Spencer notices everything.

warnings; details of eating disorders caused by lack of control, feeling the need to control the amount & what you eat, starvation, reader is avoidant and a little tiny bit mean, hurt x comfort, angst, happish hopeful ending, female reader.

i think this is around 3k?? im not sure tho bc i cbf checking 💯💯 tags; @i-live-in-spite

an; please don’t hate me, thats all i have to say when publishing this. please.

Your pen hit against the wooden desk momentarily— repeatedly as you stared at the paperwork in front of you. Although your mind was focusing on a hundred things other than the paper you we’re supposed to be finishing.

It wasn’t until the sound of your name being called that you were pulled out of your trance, looking up you noticed Penelope Garcia standing in front of you.

She repeated your name when you met her eyes, “Sorry” You muttered softly, bringing your hand up to your face, pushing hair off of your forehead as you leant back against your desk chair. “Whats up?”

“I said your name like ten times honey. Wheres your mind” She asked softly, tilting her head slightly to the side. There was a hint of jokingness in her tone, which gave you the leverage to laugh off the question.

“I brought donuts!!” She said excitedly. Which was when you noticed the pink box in her hands. You also realised that you were insanely out of it — for not noticing sooner.

You raised your eyebrow as a slight frown hesitated over your lips, before you just pulled it back into a smile. “Thats sweet pen!! Im okay though, Thank you.” You said, smiling up at the blonde women.

She hummed, not even half convinced of your dismissal of her offer. She reached into the box pulling out your favourite donut with a wide smile on her face. “Are you sure? I got your favourite!” She said in a singsong voice as she waved it around.

You realised the chances of you getting out of taking the donut were insanely slim, probably close to none.

“Alright.” You gave in, watching her already wide smile grow impossibly wider as she placed your donut on a plain white napkin, leaving it on your desk before she shuffled away to deliver the rest of the donuts before you even got the chance to thank her.

The donut sat untouched over the course of the next few hours as you returned to your work.

“Don’t let Garcia see that you didn’t eat it. She almost assaulted me when I tried to decline” Spencer spoke from behind you, making you jump slightly, before turning your head to face him.

You were confused for a moment, eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him. He seemed to sense your confusion, causing a small chuckle to pass his lips as he nudged his head slightly towards your desk. Your eyes followed where he head nudged towards, eyes landing upon the uneaten donut sitting there.

You sighed. “Its probably no good now anyways” You said, looking back at him for a moment. Pushing a smile to your lips before turning your head back to your work.

Spencer was easily your best friend. Not just inside the BAU but outside as well. You guys had usual outings, going to coffee shops, libraries, little cafe’s, watching doctor who together in his living room which always ended in you staying a little too late and falling asleep in his bed.

Maybe a little more then best friends, but neither of you cared to address it.

“Do you want me to get you a new one?” He asked, a slight frown tugging at his lips as he noticed your unusually dismissive behaviour. Avoiding his gaze, keeping conversation short, the way you were rubbing your temple.

He had been watching you all day, you did minimal work instead spending majority of the day staring at the paper work, then excusing yourself to the bathroom way more often then normal.

It wasn’t just today either, it had been building up slowly for ages. Spencer noticed all of it. Your tired eyes, disoriented mind and how you had grown more and more quiet as the days went on — spending too much time in your own mind.

You shook your head, not looking up at him as you started tapping your pen over and over again. “No thanks, spence. Im alright.” You muttered, your free hand coming to rub your eyes.

His frown deepened as he walked around to the side of your desk to get a clear look at your face — it was much prettier to look at than the back of your head, not that there was anything wrong with the back of your head. Your face just had much more endearing features.

“Have you eaten today?” He asked, but he knew the answer.

There was no point lying — you knew that. Spencer had been around you all day. The only time you left your desk was to go to the bathroom an abnormal amount of times an hour. “No, Ill get something later” You answered, your words falling nothing short of a lie.

He raised his eyebrow as you kept your gaze on the desk. “Did you eat yesterday?” He asked. His tone wasn’t daring or malicious in any sort of way. Pure concern laced every word.

You nodded but the words to confirm never followed, making a the pit in his stomach only deepened when the reality of what he thought was going on felt a little more confirmed.

“Do you want to come over tonight?” He asked, his voice was quiet as if he was scared if he spoke to loud you would break, scatter along the ground into a million little pieces, shards flying, only for them to prick you and leave you bleeding if you tried cleaning them up.

You turned your head slightly at his quiet request, you searched his face for something — anything that may give you any sort of reason to back out of his offer, but how could you say no to him?

“Sure. Ill come after dinner” The pit deepened.

He shook his head “No, no. Let’s cook something.” He suggested, you only laughed at him, eyes widening slightly.

“Me and you cooking? Come on spence be serious” You laughed, he almost wanted to feed into the joke just to continue to see the smile on your face, but he knew it was ingenuine. He couldn’t be upset about it.

“I am being serious.”

Your head tilted to the side as you looked up at him, you could see on his face — he was waiting for an answer. You finally gave in, sighing. “Fine, do you want me go to the shops on the way there?” You asked.

He shook his head, “I’ll go, all you have to do is show up” He said, a smile lacing his lips — it almost made you smile back. “Okay” You agreed once more before.

He smiled, before returning back to his desk.

Normally you would be ecstatic to hang out with Spencer — on any other occasion. The idea of having to cook and then feeling too bad to deny the food after the effort you both put in didn’t exactly strike your fancy all that much.

Your hand knocked on his door and moments later he was opening it with a soft smile on his face. He stepped aside letting you walk in wordlessly as you set your bag down by the door, taking in the warmth of his apartment that soothed the cold of your skin slightly, not enough, nothing seemed to sooth that.

“I got the stuff to make pasta.. I figured it was simple and easy enough for us” He mumbled as he took your hand in his, guiding you to the kitchen, you let out a small laugh, following him.

Although the feeling of discomfort remained in your chest and all over your body, not because of his hand in yours or anything to do with him, but the idea of food make your stomach twist, which the knowledge you’d have to be around it constantly with no chance of an escape or way out, it made your blood run cold.

“Awesome” You mumbled out, much more enthusiastically than you felt. His hand pressed softly against your back as he moved to stand on the side of you before his hand left, instead pressing against the counter as his eyes stayed on your face.

He hummed softly, looking down at the ingredients he had brought after asking rossi for a recipe he could use, the simplest the elder man had was given.

Spencer began by boiling the pasta, although you teased him about buying store brought pasta instead of making it yourselves like the recipe recommended, you had mixed opinions on it.

On one hand, the store brought pasta saved you both a lot of time and energy and probably mess, knowing if the two of you attempted to make it yourselves it would end up being a big mess and probably take about three different tries before you got it close to right.

On the other, heavier hand, your mind seemed clouded with the knowledge of how much sugar and fats were in store brought pasta, how processed it was seemed to take over the space in your mind. It was silly, you knew that deep down it was such a little thing and it didn’t make that much of a difference— to anyone else.

To you it was everything.

“I think the water is boiling” Spencer mumbled as he looked over the water in the pot, a laugh slipped through your lips as his half convinced voice pulled you from your mess of a mind. You walked towards where he was standing to look over the water in the pot that was in fact boiling.

“Well it’s bubbling and extremely hot.. so yes, I think you would be right” You nudged him slightly as he placed the pasta into the pot, your stomach clenched.

The two of you worked to cut vegetables together, in your mind you were working up the math of how many calories was in all of this combined, Spencer noticed your distracted glance, the way your mind seemed to be a hundred different places at once, anywhere but there with him.

He frowned, “What’s going through your head?” He asked softly, dropping his gaze back down to the zucchini he was cutting into thin slices, each one a different size to the other but he figured it didn’t matter.

You turned your head to look at him, aching at his question entirely. You wanted to tell him the thoughts running through your mind, the concern and doubt that had been consuming you for weeks but it all died on your tongue when his hands reached into the bag to bring out a jar sauce.

You hated the way that a stupid jar of sauce was what caused the most reaction from you, instead of answering his question your eyes widened and your head immediately was shaking. “We can’t use that.” You muttered.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confused and concern as he looked between you and the jar of sauce for a moment, wondering if maybe there was something you were allergic too or if this was the chance he had to confirm his idea of what had been going on with you.

“Why not?” He quizzed.

You huffed out, hands stilling on the knife and tomato you were cutting, before the knife was placed on the cutting board and you were reaching out for a tea down to wipe your hands. “We just- We can’t.” You settled on.

He raised his eyebrow, placing the jar on the table. Spencer wasn’t stupid, not in the slightest, although he knew pushing on this was either the smartest or dumbest thing he could possibly do in this situation.

“But why?” He pushed anyways.

You dragged your hands through your hair, “Do you know how much sugar is in that? Thats like so insanely processed and unhealthy..” You muttered out.

It all kind of settled in for Spencer in that moment, he had known you for years, you were never a crazy health freak. He had seen the signs come and go over the last few years but they were always subtle enough, until more recently, they came and they just didn’t seem to go.

“Does that bother you?” He challenged quietly.

You could see it in his eyes and feel it in the air that he exhaled that seemed to fill the space between the two of you, he knew.

“Yes- Spencer. Obviously it bothers me or else I wouldn’t tell you we couldn’t use it.” You stated, obviously growing frustrated. Spencer would normally double down at this point, not wanting to argue but he knew you, he knew this. There was no real other way to get you to break.

If he approached it softly, you’d deny it. He tried that before.

“Why? Why does it bother you?” He asked, raising his eyebrow. His tone was still laced with concern and slight challenge. It made your stomach tense and your arms line with goosebumps.

“Spencer seriously” You mumbled out, looking up at him, “Just drop it.” You sighed out, “Use the sauce- but I’m not eating it.”

He hummed, of course he wasn’t going to use the sauce if you had a real issue with it. He knew you had a real issue with it. Obviously. “Just tell me what’s wrong. Tell me why you aren’t eating” He pushed lightly.

“I am eating.” You huffed out, dragging your hands down your face.

He just hummed again, obviously disinterested in hearing your weak arguments and defence. “I know you’re not, I just don’t know why.” He argued back, he wasn’t going to drop this, not when it was something so concerning to your health.

“Spencer” You tone was a warning he chose to ignore. You could feel the tears burning their way behind your eyes and the tingle in the bridge of your nose which gave you enough of a warning of how this was going to go.

“Talk to me, sweet girl. I want to help you, let me help you.” He said breathlessly, his tone much softer than it had been previously, he stepped close to you, hands reaching out to grab onto your wrists. His fingers dug gently into the pressure point of your wrists, you’d die before you’d admit it helped regulate the emotions coursing through your body, even though it did.

You cursed his beautiful smart brain.

“I just- Cant.. I can’t eat.” You admitted, the tears now blurring your vision as the made way to the waterline of your eyes, your voice was shaky and cracked in every other syllable of your words.

His expression softened, he figured the words he wanted to say could wait. Instead his hands tugged you closer to him gently as he pulled your body flush against his. His hand cradling the back of your head as his fingers threaded through your hair to hold your head in place against his chest, his other hand resting on your upper back as he held you tightly.

Your arms instantly wrapped around his waist as your head found home in the fabric of his shirt over his chest, you chose to focus on the rhythmic beating of his heart rather than the thoughts that swarmed your mind, the doubt and the lack of focus all being forgotten for a moment as you melted in the feeling of Spencer’s arms.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He whispered softly into your hair after a moment, as his head rested on top of yours. The words making your heart skip a beat, and a sigh to pass through your lips, the tears continuing to roll down your cheeks.

You pulled back slightly in order to look up at him, voice shaky and quiet as you spoke. “It’s- Its not about that” You admitted. Sure you had days where you didn’t feel the greatest about yourself but that wasn’t the cause of your lack of eating.

He furrowed his eyebrows, leaning down to nudge his forehead against yours softly before leaning his head back, fingertips running gently over your scalp, soothingly. “Then what is it about?” He asked, genuinely wanting to understand.

You sighed, your hands leaving his waist to instead rest against his biceps as you lacked the words to explain your thought process. “I- I just-“ How were you suppose to put the million different thoughts running through your mind into simple words. “I don’t know how to— Say it”

He hummed, understanding. “Word blab, just say anything you feel, everything. It doesn’t have to make sense.. I’ll make sense of it. Im good at puzzles” He mumbled out the slight joke yet his tone was still soft and serious, you had to ignore the way your eyes threatened to roll playfully.

You were silent for a moment before another deep sigh left your parted lips, eyes moving away from his as the words left your mouth in a ramble;

“Its- Everything is so much— Like constantly so much and I feel like everything is moving so fast constantly.. I can’t breathe half the time— And work- god work, everything is happening; people are constantly getting hurt and dying, people are dying and theres nothing we can do about it ever— We can’t save everyone I know but I hate it - everything feels like a mess, im a mess and I just- The amount I eat.. and what I eat is the one thing I have control over; full control.”

The tears were flowing and your voice came out shaky and breathy. Along with a few hiccups that broke through the sobs that ruined the flow of your sentence as you blabbed out everything you couldn’t quite make sense of yourself.

Spencer frowned as he listened to you, taking in every word and every half finished sentence as you just broke down, he took in the way your voice broke and you ended up back against his chest in tears. He didn’t say anything for a moment as he instead held you tightly.

When he did speak, his voice was gentle and warm, like a big hug after a bad day. “I understand — As much as I can. I understand what you are saying. Its normal to want to control things especially when things feel so out of control around you.. But this isn’t a healthy way of coping with that feeling. And i know you know that, sweetheart.” His fingers smoothed out your hair.

You didn’t reply so he continued. “I know you feel like you are making yourself feel better, like you have control over the amount your eating but this is how a cycle starts and I’m pretty sure you also know that, since i am almost positive this isn’t the first time this has happened— Am I right to think that?” he asked softly.

Your breath shook as you nodded into the fabric of his shirt. He hummed in response. He knew that — he had seen it before.

“So you know that when it gets to a certain point you are no longer actually in control of it, instead you actually have the least amount of control. Eating disorders are like an addiction and a disease.. It takes control of you before you even realise it’s happening — and then you actually have less control than you did originally.”

You huffed out as you leant away from his chest to take a deep breath and meet his eyes. You knew he was right, but it made your chest ache to hear aloud. To be told so directly the thought you tried to ignore.

“I just- Everything is a mess.” You mumbled. He nodded.

“Everything is a mess.. But it doesn’t have to stay that way you know? Theres ways to cope with when things feel a little too messy around you, and little too messy up here” He mumbled as his hand came to tap gently against the side of your head. “Theres other things you can control that don’t put your health at risk”

You let a little smile break way onto your lips. It was hard not to smile at the sound of his sweet gentle voice he had reserved for sensitive moments like this. You hummed, shaking your head slightly.

“You’ll help?” You asked softly, looking up at him.

He nodded immediately, “Everyday.” He promised silently, moving down to press his forehead slightly against yours, offering you a small smile.

You returned it, “Thank you.” You breathed out quietly. You knew this wouldn’t be an easy process, you knew it would be a lot of back and forth and take a lot out of you. You would have to rewire the way your brain chose to cope — but—

“Don’t thank me, Sweet girl. Thank you, for trusting me. We can fix this up yeah? Get your pretty mind better, huh?”

— it all seemed a little bit lighter knowing Spencer would be there along the way.

[whichcouldmeannothing]

big big marvey fic rec list

marvey is currently my most bookmarked ship, so trust me when i say i've been around the bend for marvey content. i have dug through a lot of it the past few months, so trust that these fics have been highly rated!

fics are loosely grouped, with the summary and my thoughts under the cut :3 no spoilers ofc bc i love you

MY PERSONAL FAVOURITES

A Specter-Ross Affair by @frivoloussuits (15k+, au)

“You ordered an ‘extra-hot, extra-wet cappuccino, single-origin, properly layered, to-go and ready five minutes ago to make up for your service speed or lack thereof.’” In which Mike is a barista, Rachel is a lawyer, and Harvey is paid excessive amounts of money to plan their joyous Christmas wedding.

"Love is just a particularly socially accepted form of fraud. It's a series of increasingly complex and fragile deceptions between two or more people, and, more alarmingly, between each participant and their own deluded subconscious."

i literally cannot recommend this fic enough. this might be my favourite read of the entire year, dead serious. this sounds fluffy but trust me, the pining and the angst go well like salt on a chocolate chip cookie: extremely decadent. everything about this fic goes insane and this should be your gateway drug into marvey, im so serious about this. READ IT. (weddingplanner!harvey)

of all the gin joints by @frivoloussuits (10k+, au)

Hanging around a neighborhood bar one night, Harvey befriends a guy named Mike after realizing they can both quote The Princess Bride on demand. In the law offices of Rand, Kaldor, Zane and Pearson, senior partner Harvey Specter takes on an unusual case, representing his managing partner's daughter as she divorces a Michael James Ross. Harvey sees no connection until it's far too late.

"They’re playing a virtuosic duet with inhuman ease, as if the intoxication has broken their boundaries and blurred them into a single entity."

this. obsessed with fics that really use the law in their plots, and this is a prime example. a lot of chemistry in this one that is described in a way that makes you jealous of the bond they share and there are still lines in this fic that i think about almost everyday but honestly, such a top-tier read. PLEASE PLEASE IF YOU LIKE SUFFERING ANF REALLY REALLY GOOD CHEMISTRY PLEASE

5U175 by Closer (26k, canon-adjacent)

Harvey sometimes moonlights as a Star Trek BNF. Mike might have an attitude problem on the internet. TiberiusGhost is strangely compelling, for a recluse who never goes to meetups, and Harvey's finding this kid Photohead vaguely familiar…

i know that the terminology in this one is hella old-school but trust me. as someone who doesnt read a lot of fandom fics, this fic has changed it all for me (also bc the author replied to my comment hehehe) stick with this fic because the way fandom weaves with the character development is absolutely delicious, i remember saying this in my og comment but this fic was written with love for fandom and you should definitely read it too!!! you'd absolutely love it! (also ben stans rise up ^^)

fics to sink your teeth into (20k+)

needs must by @melthemagpie (98k+, au)

When Grammy needs an upgrade in care, Mike knows that the usual one-off gig as a paid submissive won't be enough. He takes a job he's been refusing for a while - a long-term, full-time contract. He expects his client to be a sadistic asshole. He expects not to like it. He's wrong on both counts.

this is a fandom classic, every fic rec has this on the list (cw for dom/sub and prostitution, so if you're uncomfy please dont read) but i swear there are so many romantic moments in this one that make me swoon and the smut is very good, i usually tap out in long fics really quickly but this hooked me the whole way through twice. thats my ringing endorsement, READ THIS

Lobster and Other Catastrophes by @andthetardis (21k, canon-compliant)

After months of silence, Mike starts texting Harvey again out of the blue. Funny thing to do on his honeymoon, really.

BRO PLEASE. this was so good. angsty and pining-y enough even though it's mostly a text fic. text fics to me are more like comedic, but this one had substance and heart (and funny and enjoyable btw). pulls you in and really makes you want to stick it out and get to the beautiful ending <333 (harvey being soft is probably a category on its own :3)

The Game by @frivoloussuits (27k, hunger games au)

Harvey Specter and Donna Paulsen are efficient and elegant killers. They have trained since childhood, mentored personally by Jessica Pearson and marked for years as District 1's Tributes for the Hunger Games. Mike Ross is an orphan from District 12, a drug dealer, and an underage gambler. After years of scrutinizing the Hunger Games on TV to make savvy bets, he finds himself on the wrong side of the camera, now playing the odds just to survive. Harvey and Mike cannot, should not trust each other. Still, they strike a backroom deal.

"Because he’s clever and quick-thinking and he’s learned her main lesson well– don’t love anyone you wouldn’t be willing to see dead. Ideally, don’t love anyone at all."

I READ THIS WHEN I WAS REVISITING HUNGER GAMES AND OHHHHH THIS HAS THE ANGST. absolutely riveting. ths is the third fic im reccing from them bc i love frivoloussuits. i would die for them HHFSHFHKSDGDHFG i love the angst and the life-threatening situations that the hunger games provide and harvey as a career is correct. its just correct. everything here grips my soul

Disaster Stories by agatestones (22k, canon-compliant)

"Hold on," Mike asked, "you made Donna come into work in the middle of a blizzard?" "I don't make Donna do anything. Haven't you learned by now?" Harvey gave Mike a mean little smile, but under that was relief for anyone to see. "You, I can make come into the office in a blizzard."

reads like a novella to me, and it's really good!!! very episodic and you really feel like these are things that have happened in universe. its very slice of lifey and i reread it a lot as a comfort read, its like a big hug to me

Pizza and a Movie by Closer (30k+, au)

In an alternate universe, Harvey's still a lawyer but Mike's not a pot runner -- he's a deliveryman for Rollo's Pizza and Ribs, which happens to be Harvey's favorite pizza place. Once Harvey finds out his pizza guy is a genius, Mike's life takes a few turns he would not have expected...

i swear this is the most rom-commy fic marvey has to offer. i like aus that slap me in the face more with the alternate universe, but this is such a rom-com plot. fandom classic as well and it really reads like a hugh grant 90s movie and if thats not enough to pull you in idk what will tbh

Imprimatur by Closer (22k, au)

Mike was raised to believe Imprint was a life-changing event for those few lucky enough to experience it. Harvey was raised to believe it was a form of mental illness. When it actually happened, neither of them noticed.

this goes absolutely crazy. one of those fics where you read it and you almost want to throw your phone at the wall because the characters could make it so easy if they werent so stupid (but in a good way of course) but the way it was written, you feel the depth of the soulmate bond and why its so important (which a lot of soulmate aus forget to do loll) but goes down like an expensive and delicious dinner :)

afternoon reads (10k+)

Sony SRF-39FP by @frivoloussuits (11k+, canon-adjacent)

Anita Gibbs won’t settle for Mike, not when there are name partners within her reach. She offers only one deal– two years, no other charges against anyone else in the firm, as long as Harvey Specter turns himself in. And even as Donna and Jessica and Louis and Mike beg him not to, he jumps on the grenade. “Time to get busy living or get busy dying,” he remarks, and Mike gives a small chuckle. Then Harvey smirks, straightens his suit jacket, and strides into FCI Danbury.

“I can’t believe they’re trying to lock you in a box and forget about you,” Mike sighs as he leaves.

“Well, as long as you don’t forget me, I figure I’ll survive.”

“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but forgetting’s never been my strong suit.

cw for depersonalization and desc of solitary confinement, very very heavy but the way mike is there throughout everything makes my heart twinge. i really dont know how to describe this fic at all but its really good. it makes me cry a lot. also made me start listening to jazz which- uh

Here at the end of all things by @tattooedsiren (10k, au)

When he arrives at the Pearson Hardman building the lights are dimmed and the floor is deserted. His feet carry him to Harvey's office even though he expects it to be empty. Because Harvey probably fled the city via helicopter or teleporter or sheer force of will. But when he approaches the office he can see that Harvey is there. He has moved the couch so that it now faces the floor to ceiling windows and Mike silently sits beside Harvey, joins him in looking down at the chaos engulfing the city below. [Apocalypse AU]

I LOVE APOCALYPSE FICS UP UP UP badass!harvey makes me bark, but im a really big fan of people who find happiness in the worst circumstances and this fic does it so so so well. reminds me a lot of tlou episode like 2? the one with the strawberries. please this is what i revisit when i miss marvey and i dont have a lot of time because the world and the characters are jsut so delicious!!!

quick reads (1k+)

This Love is Silent by kim47 (8k, canon-compliant)

She should have known. She had known, that something was off, at least. She knew he was hiding something. She just never imagined it could be this. Despite Harvey's warnings, Mike tells Rachel the truth about everything. She's shocked, naturally, and more than a little angry, but she agrees to keep his secret, and even to date him. So when they break up, Harvey goes into damage-control mode.

RACHEL!! HELLO RACHEL!! im always up for smart and discerning rachel (this shows up in of all the gin joints too btw!!!) this runs realistic to me because it shows that rachelxmike arent some hopelessly wrong for each other couple, they have good and bad times. this feels more real to me than other fics bc its not like the world conspires for marvey to be apart, its just life. i know this makes it sound so sad, and it is, but trust me: this is really really really good i love this so much

an archive of harvey specter's expressions by @frivoloussuits (2k, canon-compliant)

Five old expressions that Mike rediscovers in new contexts once he and Harvey are (finally) together, and one that he sees for the first time. Alternatively titled “An Ode to Gabriel Macht’s Face.”

this was written for me. this is literally me. writing fic because gabriel macht is too pretty, like this fic is literally for me. a lot of peering at him to get this fic as masterfully written as it is, and i thank you author everyday for it. to me, this reads like it's been written with love and care and true adoration (Truly, like Mike)

Coffee-Cart Client Privilege by @frivoloussuits (7k, au)

Mike runs a coffee cart. The coffee cart.

"Why not? They're too big and dense to be a snack." So are you, Mike thinks, and yet.

IM SORRY I KEEP RECCING FRIVOLOUS SUITS THEYRE MY FAVOURITE WRITER IN THIS FANDOM HFBKABFDKHFBHKDSA this has the hand-wavy logic the show has itself but mike's internal monologue in this one is one of the best ive ever read and the way mike's integrated in the offices is just so well-done ahhhh

Objection by yeah its frivoloussuits again i feel bad tagging them like 7 times (2k, canon-adjacent)

When Mike announces he’s leaving, Harvey plans to hide the jagged pieces of his broken heart deep inside, where no one will ever find them. His heart would like to object.

BIGG fan of physical hurt/comfort!!!! also big fan of people absolutely freaking out in the hospital in fics, it makes me bounce of the wall!! very short but the angst and love really hits you quick and leaves you on the floor gasping for air. very good (also cant prove this but im very sure this is a scrubs reference.t hanks)

Excerpts From The Gospel of Harvey Specter, edited by Michael "Forever Awesome" Ross, 2011, 1st Ed, by @rcmclachlan (7k, canon compliant)

Mike can totally read people. Well, most people. Some people. Or maybe just Harvey, who's pretty much an open book.

this one's really funny! it doesent follow direct prose and instead plays a lot with the setting its in (where mike's a documenter of harvey) and its just so funny and adorable. has a lot of heart too, it isn't just crack or anything but you really feel everything mike does as he writes all this, read this!!1

One More Sleepless Night by @sal_si_puedes (9k, au)

Soul Bonds are one-sided – there’s usually mutual affection, but only one party feels the crippling need to be together as often as possible. If separated at length from their love, that party becomes crushed by longing, panic, and sheer hopelessness, and so it is illegal to forcibly keep Soulmates apart. Some days, Harvey Specter hates the Bond that skews his judgement and weakens his resolve, and he fears what would happen if anyone in his world ever discovers he is so compromised. He certainly never planned to disclose the Bond for the first time in the middle of Anita Gibbs’ office, in a last-ditch attempt to invalidate the deal sending Mike to prison.

HSDGFHSDKGHRLKGHK THIS FIC. i love fics that use more than just prose to tell their stories (see above fic) and this does my favourite thing that soulmate aus do, which is where they integrate in-universe explanations for the phenomenon. the amount of work and dedication put into this fic makes it absolutely sing and was absolutely lovely!!

also pspspsps

golden like the daffodils by @mini-mart (2k, canon-compliant)

Poetry holds meaning, for anyone who reads it. It obscures and dances around the literal and metaphorical, because it’s imbued with so much of something that it overflows out of any definition. It can make someone mad, or lovesick, or aroused, and the reactions would be absolutely warranted. Mike is poetry, to Harvey. - Harvey Specter could be a good politician, as he believes in pragmatism over poetry. He won't let his progress fall apart, won't let someone knock it down. And then someone unceremoniously cracks open a suitcase at his feet. Or: Harvey, pretty boys and poetry.

yeah yeah i wrote this yeah yeah self promo smth smth

there's a lot more that isn't here but i'll probably write a new one when i go for a deep dive through the ship tags again :3

^^ ao3 etiqutte applies! if you like the fic, kudos and comment and bookmark!! show your love! happy reading marveys! my gift to u :3

[sp-ud]

Every time I see a "Hazel doesn't really need fairy godparents, she has good parents and friends, so what if she's sad they moved and her brother is off at college? Thats nothing compared to what Timmy or Dev have going on." I want to cry.

Have you considered that maybe that's the point? I know here on tumblr it's mostly people who were fans of the original show and are now in their early adult lives and teens who probably heard of the original but haven't watched it but checked out ANW for one reason or another. But don't forget, this is still a show for younger kids.

Hazel reflects a lot of the realistic internal struggles younger kids deal with, especially when suddenly thrown into a completely new phase of their lives like moving to a new city, going to a new school, or an older sibling going to college.

And that's a good thing, it's good to show kids that even if their lives aren't Horrid they still can have issues. They're still allowed to struggle 'even though' they have good parents, 'even though' they aren't bullied, 'even though' most of their issues are internal.

And that is why it's good Hazel is the protagonist and not Dev. While yes from a fandom perspective I get why people are drawn to the character with the most blatant angst potential, that like. Would be a terrible show. Even if it was meant for a YA audience and not kids.

But back to Hazel, she's so brilliantly written with her struggles because it's like yeah. I can see any 10 year old being in her situation. Minus the whole fairy godparents. Lots of kids struggle with making new friends, or knowing how to deal with being somewhere completely new, and so many other things. Its nice to see, and once again I think this choice by the writers was very intentional.

Also maybe some of yall need to think about possible unconscious biases you have that could be causing you to focus on the sad white boy and not the black girl who has plenty of her own complexities and issues. And why when you do focus on Hazel why you only focus on how she can support Dev.

Hazel is an interesting and well written character and I'm sick of there being like no talk or anything in the fandom about her without it being attached to Dev. It's her show goddamn it. The writers made her the protagonist for a reason and wrote her the way they did for a reason so please don't just ignore her. Go rewatch the show and actually pay attention to her.

And a final semi-related note, some of yall need to stop forgetting Hazel's 10. The amount of criticism towards her that can instantly be countered with "She's 10" is insane. I know for some of us it's been a while since we were 10, but I think we can all agree we were all far from being perfectly logical and emotionally intelligent at age 10.

[peachyfnaf]

Who are your favorite TSAMS artists?

GOD i have SO many, and i also have the worst memory imaginable!!! hold on let me like try to fuckin compile a LIST

@/polaris-stuff

^ I will never shut up abt polaris' art. she's so good at posing, lighting, texturing, showing emotion, literally the whole shebang. also once every two months or so she drops a piece like this or this or this that leaves my ass FLABBERGASTED ON THE FLOOR and thinking about it SO MUCH for SO LONG. polaris S tier frfr

@/zthesheep

^ Z CAN DRAW SO GOOD SO FAST AND IT'S SCARY. he's also hella talented at animating and pov/perspective-work and his art needs more attention rn or im gonna blow up this whole website

@/turbotasthick

^ GOD. TURBO IS SO FUCKING GOOD AT DRAWING THINGS THAT JUST KNOCK THE BREATHE FROM MY LUNGS. and theyre ALSO good at making things that just make me giggle and be HAPPY. like, the silly goofy bm and noface art they do?? joyous and whimsical, but when they DECIDE TO DROP A PIECE BASED OFF AN OLD VICTORIAN PAINTING THAT WATERS MY CROPS CLEARS MY SKIN AND CLEANSES MY SOUL? ascension

@/meemo32

^ They way they color and render things brings me so much joy and satisfaction, theyre also hella good at posing too. shaking around their doodles in my teeth like a cat

@/crees-a

^ GOD. CRESPA. I LOVE THEIR STYLE SO MUCH AND THEIR FULLY RENDERED PIECES STRAIGHT UP LOOK 3D SOMETIMES. THE SHEER AMOUNT OF DETAIL THEY PUT INTO EVERYTHING THEY MAKE IS ASTONISHING AND THE SPEEEDDD THEY DO IT AT IS SO SKJDFHSHDF YK? also i love how they're just an autism creature incarnate lmao

@/fablekitty

^ fable art soft.... fable art elicits me to me feel warm and fuzzy. looking at her stuff invokes the same feelings from me that those old 2015 fnaf speedpaint videos with fnaf music playing ovterop of them did. calmness and a subtle happiness

@/kuuchaos

^ another one who's specific style/way of drawing the dca just brings me so much joy. im a sucker for people who draw em with 3d noses. also the lighting MASTERRR. style that is so squishable yet so strong. oobleck-like artstyle.

@/milkyshea

^ THE SOFTEST AND MOST HOMELY ART EVER. also i could be wrong so dont quote me on this but i THINK milky draws on their PHONE and that. that is insane. thats coocoo bananas. milky how do u draw like that on your phone. milky what are they feeding you

@/frankie-funked

^ ART STLYE THAT MAKES ME GO "HEEHEE" EVERY TIME I SEE IT. ART STYLE THAT MAKES ME VERY HAPPY AND I LOVE THEIR FULLY RENDERED STUFF. GUYS HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THEIR FULLY RENDERED STUFF??? IT'S FUCKIN' JAW DROPPING AS HELL

@/momokooooooooooooo

^ god i love momoko's human tsams stuff so much. i love the outfits they put the characters in, they're always so creative and have such intricate details in them that i just find myself staring to inhale it all. ALSO CAN BE A PERSON WHO SUCKER PUNCHES ME WITH THAT GOOD ANGST SOUP WHEN THEY SO CHOOSE TO DO SO

@/paaatchm

^ JUST ANOTHER ONE WHO'S ART BRINGS ME JOY AND WHIMSY. their solar design? i love him, especially that one time they drew him with like a steampunk mecha arm. that shit was SO COOL and i just. something about their style is another one that just makes me go 'HHRRHRGRHGGGRHR" /VPOS

@/superstar8bongos

^ what am i to say? it's bongos, we all know that bongos is like. so talented it makes everyone clip through the walls. their way of coloring/rendering is incredible and if i stare at their art LONG enough hopefully i will be able to absorb their skills and have a fraction of their power

@/hazard-c-horror

^ I LOVE. HORROR ART. SO MUCH. HAZARD IS LIKE THE OASIS FOR ME IN THE MOSTLY FLUFF-FILLED/NON-HORROR LAND THAT IS THE TSAMS ARTIST DESERT. they're so good at making things unnerving but also hella cute at the same time? like, their OC, Hazard??? fucking FREAK but also omg thats an OUPPY. also how they do expressions w characters eyes my beloved

@/flufffydestroyer

^ THE best artist on this site to go to if you need to look at some art to perk you up and make you smile. art that is very soft and sweet and loving that will warm you up like hot cocoa on a cold winters day. i love all their trans sun and characters as babies stuff

@/samoftheswamp

^ the best tmgafs/teaps artist on this entire site and i will not be convinced otherwise. i love how they use shapes SO much, and also just their overall. just their overall everything. their puppet-master design??? hello??? put that in a museum

@/marshmallowcat666

^ artist who i have not seen many pieces from but every time i do i just go "!!!" cause' something about the way they color and pose (esp when they do multiple-character pieces) just makes me perk up. joy and whimsy

honest to god i have more but this is already so long im going to end it here solely for the fact that i, tragically, have to do other things than gush about cool artists. punches the air

[mofsblog]

Uh oh, I got reminded TFGraves exist and I'm mentally ill and going to make it YOUR problem!! (Translation: I'm going to gosh about them)

They just mean so much to me? And they just feel soo?? Special?? And unique on a meta level as well? It's already one thing that they are a canonised mlm pairing because historically those ones tend to be more controversial because it tends to make cishet dudes (aka leagues main demographic) more uncomfortable because cant fetishise it (also yes they're not Technically "together" but idc its explicitly canon they have feelings for eachother). It's another that both are surprisingly developed and nuanced charaters (could go on for hours about how theyre both self destructive and have abandonment issues and repress their feelings in very different ways) that are morally ambiguous and have a complex and multifaceted relationship with eachother and yeah i know league lore is subject to retcons and having differet writers but idk. i think its impressive we got two nuanced developed queer male characters WITH A COMPLICATED AND DEVELOPED RELATIONSHIP WITH EACHOTHER in a game known for its bigotted player base. Another thing i fucking love about this ship is how the riot writers were like "what if we subverted some tropes and made the more flamboyant one implied pan and we made the traditionally masculine one, who highkey has toxic masculinity, gay". BUT ALSO HIS TOXIC MASCULINITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS QUEERNESS. like yes he cant express his feelings directly to save his life but the fact he's a gay man is completely not relevant to that and he's canonically had a bunch of ex boyfriends and is canonically a monsterfucker/hj. I'm not over how they took a pretty cishet masculine thing and made queer. Like the rough outlaw who hates talking about his feelings and is out for violent revenge on those who've wronged him..... except the guy who's "wronged" him is actually his best friend who he has mutual feelings for and also he fucks men. IDK THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. im insane.

moving on to other thing i like about them is that the sheer range this ship has??? Like yes there's gut wrenching fucked up dynamic that drives you crazy as you pyschoanalyse and unpack the layers of all of THAT. "that" being the fact a man thought he got abandoned by his best friend and got tortured and isolated in prison for 10 years and during those 10 years the only thing that kept him from killing himself was the sheer rage and want for vengence (towards someone he probably had repressed romantic feelings for) AND THEN WHEN HE GOT THE CHANCE TO KILL HIM, HE COULDNT BRING HIMSELF TO DO IT 💀 (im literally never going to be normal about that) and during those 10 years the other man actually got all of their mutual friends killed in an attempt to save him and the survivors guilt fucked him up so bad its implied he failed trying to drown himself so he changed his entire name and personhood instead to isolate himself from the soul crushing guilt of it. BUT DESPITE THAT ANGST, there's a surprising amount of domesticity and comfort with this ship??? No like you'd think these two would be friends to enemies to lovers BUT NO, theyre actually friends to enemies to friends to friends who are fucking pinning for eachother like crazy. Despite the angsty dynamic these two also have the best friends who have known eachother for ages and who everyone think is dating but both are oblivious or dont believe the other feels the same BUT THEY ALSO HAVE opposites attract bickering marriage couple who constantly tease and banter with eachother. like the range is crazy

No but I feel like something that makes me emotional about this is that they tried to kill eachother and badly hurt eachother unintentionally but like, instead of being homophobic about it and making them just hate eachother forever and never reconcicle (which like those ships are amazing and valid and also thats literally another league ship/hj), the writers made them make up???? AND LIKE? HEAL? KINDA? Like no they havent worked through everything and no neither of them like talking about their feelings but they're "partners" again and they have this really domestic understanding of eachother and theyre managing and theyre bantering like they used to and theyre literally so comfortable around eachother and look, graves isnt tormented by his time in prison as much anymore and hes just a genuinely goofy criminal dumbass who robs people and cracks jokes that irriate his partner AND IDK ITS SO DOMESTIC AND FUNNY? BUT IT DOESNT FEEL OUT OF CHARACTER. THESE TWO JUST ARE IN A GOOD PLACE DESPITE EVERYTHING AND IDK THAT MAKES ME HAPPY???? why did league of legends make compelling queer ship

[starheirxero]

[rez]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Anyway

Hope Castor can help Lunar.

Or atleast point him in the right direction.

I think Lunar is finally facing himself really.

And I understand wanting him out of the house but like- why are they surprised he ran away?

Thats like what Lunar does? He ran for months after he died, him running away is par for the course. And he was gone for three days because he was in jail? They didn't even accept that, they just got mad at him for running. As if Monty hadn't actually decided he was gonna kill Lulu.

Like Lunar would probably be dead if he'd stayed, or atleast injured.

'We do still love you and youre still our little brother'

-They say as they irepibly damage any and all trust Lunar had in them at the moment and in the future.

Moon I understand you want him to actually face consequences but there's no going back from this!

Lunar will never trust you, or anyone else in this family, again.

Castor pleasepleaseplease be the one who finds him.

Ohhh how I want to see more Pollux and Castor interactions bc as I said in another ask that idk if you received Cas almost seems to be avoiding talking to her specifically about Lulu.

That or Lunar gets kidnapped again.

More specifically by the creator so gem (or even just Cas) have to save him

But with Gemini separate there's also the possibility rez or someone else targets one of the twins while the other is away so thatd be neat.

ALL OF THIS NODNODNOD!!!!!!

I think Castor choosing to help Lunar while Pollux doesn't would be really interesting from a Gemini perspective. They're the twins, they make up one astral, one constellation together. If they truly become divided over this, I would be deeply fascinated to see where it goes from there since we got so used to seeing them as Gemini—a collective entity—rather than themselves.

And YEAH LIKE. Listen. I know that to the family, because they don't actually have the full picture, it looks like Lunar is just a loose canon that attacked Earth in a fit and then dipped. But also LUNAR TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT THEY WERE IN LITERALLY INCAPABLE OF RETURNING SOONER BC THEY WERE JAILED AND THEN REZ PUT THEM ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLOBE. AND MOON JUST WENT "I DON'T CARE." LIKE CMON 😭 "why were you gone for 3 days" "i was jailed and then left in russia" "whatever i dont care" MOON WHEN I GET YOU.......

THE "I LOVE YOUS" BETWEEN IT ALL YEAH.

I'm sorry but no amount of "you are family and we love you" is going to lessen the blow of "you have basically been squatting in my house (that i invited you into and you've been paying rent for) and you're a danger to this entire family so I want you to never speak or get near any of us until you sort yourself out." ESPECIALLY WHEN MOON SAID "YOU'RE LUCKY I EVEN STILL CONSIDER YOU FAMILY" LIKE I'M SORRY BUT THAT'S WILD. Again, I understand Moon in this situation. That does not mean I don't think he wasn't insanely rude LMAO 😭

Exactly like you said, Moon cannot undo this. Lunar has always looked up to old Moon and so I cannot imagine how much more it hurts coming from him. I honestly can't imagine a clear future where Lunar is going to feel safe amongst their own family again, knowing that they all viewed them as dangerous enough to be kicked out. Honestly, I'm half expecting this to end up as "Lunar lives independently and then realizes they actually feel better not living around their family and that they were kinda awful for them on accident" HDKSHDJS

YEA MORE CASTOR N POLLUX INTERACTIONS WOULD BE GREAT...... Yesyes I have received ur other ask and I'm actually gunna answer it after this one but GHOD yeah. Seeing them disagree abt smth is so interesting and I need more of it....... If one twin is hurt tho,,,,,,, ouhg. The Angst........

[sun-stricken]

Gray & Erza Hcs

someone sent in an ask about their friendship and i accidentally deleted it but you know who u are, this is for you

these two have so much angst potential

* Gray purposefully take the route to and from his house that passes the river even though it takes longer, just on the off chance Erza might be there

* She holds so much guilt for sending him into avatar, but everytime she tries to apologize for it the words get stuck and she cant

* Grays probably the only person Erza has ever offered a slice of her cake to, if only bc she knows he doesnt like cake and made it her personally mission to find one he does

* They are so stubborn

* Gray: You’re one of my best friends, I would do anything for you. 
Erza: I want you to eat 3 meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. 
Gray: Absolutely not.

* Their friendship is the type where they can sit in silence for hours and be completely comfortable just knowing the other is there

* Erza loves her guild, but if Gray died, if he left fairy tail, she would genuinely consider leaving as well

* her big sister instincts will always kick in the fastest with him

* She has an internal alarm that sounds every time Grays in trouble even if shes no where near him.

* Sometimes she’ll wake up in a cold sweat and text him in a panic asking him whats wrong

* it freaked him out so many times but hes grown so used to it that he’ll message her as soon as smth happens to forstall the panic

* He was her first real friend in fairy tail, so she has a soft spot and a bias of sorts for him, shes more likely to take his sides on things than not

* thats not to say she turns a blind eye to his chronic dumbassery, no she still will fully call him out on his bullshit, but shes more likely to call others out before him

* In turn, Gray is the one who calls her out on her behavior, people will go out of their way to find him just so he can talk to her bc shes less likely to kill him if he calls her out than anyone else

* He called her a hypocrite once and everybody started to mentally plan his funeral, then was in awe since she actually stopped what she was doing and apologized

* He will fight for what she wants even if he doesn’t necessarily agree with it. He is the first to defend her

* Hes also the first to put her in her place, he has never seen her as the great godly ‘Titiana’, he sees her a ‘Erza’, a teenage girl

* And honestly? she probably appreciates thats more than being seen as a sort of invincible god the public sees her as

* Allegedly, their are the two most ‘mature’ and put together people of the team. its a lie. an act. theyre not. not at all. They are so chaotic, especially together. when nobodies around they can be so dumb together and they cause so many problems. but nobody would believe you if you told someone

* They have an insane amount of respect for one another, more than the kind for friends and guild mates

* Gray isn’t actually scared of her, he plays it up for shits n giggles but at the end of the day less scared than he is cautious, he knows she’ll put him in his place but he is by no means scared of her.

* She knows this and its like their own little secret

* They refuse to go to the doctor, therapy, or anything such as that unless the other gets checked out too

* They get each other weapons for their birthdays, each one is better than the last

* They see a lot of themselves in each other, perhaps thats why they are so protective of one another

* Neither of them are the type to fully let down their walls, theyve never really felt truly and completely at ease with any one person. But the closest its ever been has been with each other

* trying to get them to do smth actually good for their health is like getting happy to never eat fish again.

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 42

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

The Wrath of Kzhan by Oh_Contrary

A mission goes terribly wrong when Lance and Pidge are betrayed by their would-be allies. Now Pidge is injured and it's up to Lance to get her to safety-- But can he do so in time to save her? And even if he does, who's going to save him?

pidge & lance fic? ft. bamf protective lance? focus on platonic/sibling love? i got u guys. hard angst with a lot of fear but heavy fluff and comfort at the end, and a very interesting and intentional plot!

2. Lion Heart by ErinWantsToWrite

Lance can't remember. He doesn't know where he is, why he's on this strange planet- yeah a planet that isn't earth- he's just fourteen! Why was he here? Where was his mom? His big sister? Why was this giant, mechanical, blue lion comforting him? Why were these people talking to him through a helmet, even if he couldn't answer? How does he get out of this suit-Who are those purple dudes outside of the lion?

i will always always ALWAYS have the softest of soft spots for de-aged lance. its gotta be one of the top three plot devices fr. oh? lance doesnt know how to be his true self around his team? and his team doesnt know how to understand him yet? here is an easy and fun to read solution 😊

3. Hide and Seek by @zipadeea

“We can’t say blue, I’m already blue. It would just get confusing.” “You go out of your way to make our lives confusing, Lance.” “Memes save lives, Keith. That’s all you need to know.” The story of how Voltron got its official Code Blue for medical emergencies. And the five times the paladins use it.

this fic is pretty evenly centered around all the team, but shiro lovers im calling u rn. the last scene with keith and lance and shiro actually made me want to curl up and sob in the best possible way i thought it about it for days after

4. Up the river by @zipadeea

Lance falls in a river on a strange planet, and gets stranded up the river with an even stranger kid. He's getting pretty tired of waiting for his friends to come rescue him, before realizing, maybe this time, he's going to have to figure out a way to save himself.

i need yall to undestand how batshit feral this fic made me. im always a little bit obsessed with religious imagery, thats just how things are, but this one just had it everywhere and so seamlessly?? in fact i think i actually went insane about this fic before in a separate post, i cant remember when, i just know that ive read this fic a stupid amount of times and i have specific lines memorised and i think about it all the time

5. Take It In, Feel It All and Hold It by @bleusarcellewrites

“Do you wanna try it out, Lance?” Lance blinks at him, eyes narrowed in confusion and making the adult to chuckle. “Dancing, son. Do you wanna dance with me?” “I dunno how, papa.” The five years-old bites his lower lip unsure, looking up at his dad nervously but the adult just smiles softly at his son and holds out both of his hands towards the child. “It’s okay, son,” he comforts gently, “Just take my hands, I got you.” [Small moments that made Lance realize how much he loves dancing with the people he loves]

okay i know a good chunk of you are new so im gonna give u a lil chunk of information, from a voltron elder (my old ass). bleusarcelle was at one point the reigning goddamn monarch of the klance fic world like well and truly. the most iconic and well loved domestic klance fics have ALL come from bleusarcelle i swear to god. and this fic? this particular one? this one is absolutely THEE most parent klance fic of all time. read this and have ur cheeks ache with your smile

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[metalpincer]

WOW! THANK YOU!

I have nearly 60 followers and thats really insane to me, but I appreciate it a lot! I've mentioned it before, but uploading my art online has always been kind of anxiety inducing for me. Truth be told, I once had another art account on Twitter for another fandom, but the amount of people so quickly kind of overwhelmed me to the point I closed it really, really fast. I've always struggled with social anxiety, and I just wasn't in a place to handle more than like..1 person seeing my creations lol. This fandom though has been SO nice, and I really have been enjoying Tumblrs interface actually posting art. I've always been afraid to leave comments, but I have really wanted to make connections and express myself since I've been in a good mental state. I guess Turbo was the final push for that haha. Anyways, besides me being sappy, I want to let you guys vote on which animatic (or maybe even a polished animation lol) you'd like to see from me! Also send drawing/doodle requests in my ask box too! (Will range from sketch to rendered illustration)

*NOTE For some reason the "J" in Joke got nuked for a couple of the poll options lol

[jfkonfucius]

GIVE ALL YOUR THOUGHTS ON SEASON 3 HAND EM OVER

THIS IS NOT ALL MY THOUGHTS CUZ ALL MY THOUGHTS ARE HOURS WORTH OF THOUGHTS. PROBABLY. here's some scattered initial thoughts . out of order

- vlad vlad vlad i adore vlad i wish he talked more. he doesn't even name drop the first time we meet the bleacher creatures! I think. I don't even remember when he name drops

- I don't think I'm overestimating it when I say I am the confucius guy. and the confucius guy has been fed very well this season. im SO grateful. I'm obsessed with him. He's cute. He's sometimes a little unexpected. He has about 5/6 minutes worth of angst. He's relatable. He is everything to me

- The Mary twist was hilarious, at first I had mixed feelings about the character being shoved in, but it built up to awesomeness

- It's been rough for Harriet... It's been real rough for her character. Which SUCKS cuz I wanna like her! I don't dislike her but Girl Why

- The writing has def improved since the last season! Hooray! Gives me 1% hope

- The JFK&Abe&Confucius trio is adorable and one of my fav things about this season. "We tried! Yeah yeah We tried!" "C'mon... C'mon...? C'mon... C'mon!"

- Joanfucius cute !! 7.5/10. Better than their s2 relationships (Joanfk/tubfucius)

- Jfabers are winning. And losing also

- Shower scene didn't happen

- I loved JFK's personality arc, his devils & angels, and him being more bisexual than ever. The explanation for the writers to "fix his personality" was genius

- I felt the increased amount of swearing made it so jokes or emotional moments involving swearing didn't hit as hard as they could have. And some sex scenes were dragged on for too long which wasn't useful narrative/comedy wise .. just uncomfortable

- I accept buff confucius into my life

- The new characters from ep 9... erm. I didn't like them much. I don't like the "here's character's love interest that is basically this character but opposite gender!" trope. The part with Mrs. C's cockney accent made me like her more though

- JFK'S DAD CAMEO !! HOORAY !! i wonder where the other dad is though ...

- I appreciated the references to previous seasons !!

- The ending left me in shambles & some actual grief. I loved the last episode, the way it parallels the first season finale, and the emotional drama, but I feel like they can't afford a cliffhanger. I would have liked some closure, as I have barely any faith in the animation+streaming industry and am 99% sure we're heading for cancellation. Boo-womp

- On the topic of ending, I headcanon that if the series does get cancelled, the clones actually get hit by the missile and DIE. I AM MAKING IT WORSE FOR MYSELF

- I LOVE EATING MAGNETS

- I really liked the Christian rock song and the inclusion of Unrehearsed by Abandoned Pools! I wish there were more new songs X( but it ok

- Scud and Mr. B were awesome as usual

- Abe cute

- I'm glad we got more Kahlopatra (Or... "cleda" as the show calls it. I GUESS. I GUESS)

- Frida's dad... emm.. ermm.. ermmm.. 😳😳😳 he so

- The professor from Ep 1 is freaking awesome & has the same voice as mr. peanut butter i think which makes him awesomer

- Hmmm... Magnets

- I was very pleased to see more Front facing scared confucius

- I was also pleased to see him about to jump off a building. you know how it is with the fav characters ^_^

- Not a whole lot of JFKonfucius moments but some screenshot worthy stuff . I went insane when JFK grabbed Confucius by the collar though 😭 why does he do that. why are they like that. i love my boys

- the last shot grabs my heart with a fist and squeezes it It hurts It Hurts it Hurts

ok well if i keep on listing stuff i'll just be talking about everything confucius did so thats enough for now LOL !!! THANKS FOR ASKING . HEART 💚🧬

[cumulonimbuns]

Excuse me a moment for TKSD, as I must scream.

(Pretend there's an 80 line long string of "AAAAAAHH" I don't want to actually fill up the dash with that much junk text)

I love it. Chef's kiss. Beautiful. Sidon my beloved. Link my beloved. Flying dragon breaking out of her mindless state my beloved. Mwah.

I feel it necessary that you are making my polyam partner very, very gooshy about the polyamourous society of Zora you've made. They've been having a rough time with so many "Yona jealous of link and sidon" and "Yona blocks off link from Sidon" shit, and you and the Secret Confessions To a Sage comic by @kenneduck have literally sent them to tears of the happiness of good, easy polyamoury. They've been very gooshy.

And I can't wait to see how Chapter 5 goes. The ending of chapter 4 was soo good, and I loved the entire story. The line in chapter 1 about how Link was a tool to use for the kingdom, not a person that can have desires Mmmmmmmm good shit angst. And the Whole Breakdown was so good and aaaa Link keeps fleeing. And Yona getting right under there and swooping Link out of there I love her. I love what you have done with her. Just. Aaaaah.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

I’ll scream for you, no worries lol!

But seriously thanks so much!!!!

And towards your partner, I COMPLETELY understand. I remember finishing TOTK and excitedly running to ao3. Only to see some of the first fics with Yona was just hating on her, or turning her character into a really mean lady who you’re supposed to root against. There’s nothing wrong enjoying your gay ships, but maybe don’t vilify female characters only bc they ‘get in the way’? It reminded me WAY TOO MUCH of my time in the Sonic fandom (I’m still a part of that fandom, always, love that silly blue hedgehog <3), and ppl would do the same to Amy in a lot Sonadow fics. WHICH DROVE ME INSANE.

I will always believe the hc of: wingman Yona, supportive wife Yona, or Poly Yona. They’re all wonderful <3 Just have these bitches love each other. It’s way more fun. I know once I complete TKSD I’d rlly rlly like to write a fic about SidYonZeLink, polyamory relationships are very dear to me, and I love exploring how complicated yet wonderfully caring they can be.

BUT OMG, I ALSO LOVE KENNEDUCK!!!! The Secret Confessions comic is just *chef kiss* GLORIOUS! I’m almost POSITIVE all of ya’ll have seen/read it, but if not—YOU BETTER GO RIGHT NOW AND DO SO!!! Their Yona is also so so so wonderful, she is so soft, and she and Sidon are so soft together. I love it.

I’m excited and nervous for chapter 5! I know a lot of y’all really wanna get to Link, but it felt important to write about the Sage’s to set up a couple of future events. I meant for it to be fairly short and then have a larger section dedicated to when they find Link, but thats… not exactly what happened. Atm the doc is at an even 19k word count (dunno how i managed that), and i still have a decent amount of things to write, SO…. Yeah. A lot of this chapter is really just about the Sages and the Sage’s bonding. If that’s not what you want than you can obviously wait til chapter 6, which spoilers, will be Link’s pov and ONLY about his recovery.

Thanks so much for all your kind words!! I rlly appreciate it <3<3<3

I hope everyone has a lovely day and that you enjoy future chapters and future fics!!

[indigos-stardust]

1, 20, and 32

Okay for #1 "The Other ONe" (I meant to write "The Other Thing" but eh.. anyways im gonna put my notes here :) I'm going to do 20 and 32 on a separate post because THERE IS SO MUCH WRITING

TW: After "And then the screaming started" There is brief BODY HORROR, ends at "reds eyes seemed to have magically cleared up"

Enjoy~ (they are bad quality-) (there is angst and identity loss, I don't know if the ending is good or bad but uh, its probably good even though it hurts?)

THE OTHER THING

what if vio got replaced by another vio and they didnt believe him

the new vio is a fake but honestly the real vio is starting to wonder if hes even the real vio he hates seeing his life stolen being told hes the fake thing NAYWAYSVJHIFS listen bruh imagine theres something or someone following u and u notice -

and then u try to get the jump on them but then theyre u and they tell u so. but the second someone gets there ur the one holding the knife and then suddenly they sound just like you and even talk and act just like you . and when ur asked questions to know who the real one is the answers are practically the same. surely zeldas magic must know its you surely she will .youre locked in a dungeon tied with magic chains

Your own family sneers at you your own face does telling you to stop your act. they know their brother, their r e al brother is okay. they dont know what theyre going to do with this thing no one talk to it and no one trust anything it says etc < 3

the other thing keeps trying to convince them and then red thinks maybe it really does think its the real vio. and even then if it didnt it didnt deserve to suffer .if they didnt know the truth he tries to make its, no his conditions better more food and so on something to keep warm more water to stay clean. even if red has to sneak the meager amount to him.

The thing tries to convince him thats hes the real one but hes not. the Other Thing tells him thats its okay that he doesnt belive him. reds heart sinks and then he spends time with his brothers. he doesnt tell them hes been visiting the other thing .they thing hes just too empathic too attatchable, soo easily manipulated... that Thing is a danger.

he talks with vio one day the conversation goes around and eventually red asks about shadow. When the other vio had talked about shadow, it was about how horribly wrenched it guilt he was .how he probably deserved this fate. he said he didnt want to tell red those things he didnt want him to get hurt from trying to empathise with him or even think about beliving him. but that he couldnt not or else hed go insane. he already was..

Vio expressed that it wasn't the best of his choices but really, how could he have actually gotten attached to him? witnessing all the horrible things that monster "shadow" did... although he supposes perhaps he had just been influenced by vios behaviour to do what he did to the cursed to mirror.. A shadow would copy anything afterall, so he probably just "subconsciously" copied a more noble behaviour. Really, shadow was,just an illusion after all.

The Other Thing is escaping. red caught him... he lets him go and covers for him... red doesnt know whats real anymore- all the meanwhile vio is living his life with his brothers . vio is enjoying his room, his home, vio is free, vio is Loved.

The Other vio says he hadnt been good enough of a brother or else they would have known it was really him. green and blue told Red to not listen to it, because that Thing must be able to sense what others anticipate since it was able to act like vio so much.

So the Other Thing lives his own life alone...

For around a year or so... and the he starts stalking them... And following them...

While the Other Thing was missing, he he studied magic. red didnt know where he went even though he was the one who helped it escape.

then the others noticed a change in red. Nightmares, anxious dread, a deep unrest, swings of isolation and clinginess...acting strange around vio. Red was probably scared the Thing would return they figured. they were going to find out what IT even was before it escaped and disappeared... they assure him that with the magic theyve set up it wont be able to replace anyone else.. red doesn't get better and he doesn't tell them what's wrong.

Red notices other small details about vio though. Little things that feel wrong, uncanny. Red doesnt say anything though. he doesnt think he likes vio anymore....

Other Thing finds them in the woods one day...

The colors had been out hunting for monsters, there'd been a lot of sightings recently.. It was a horrible day really, a bad feelling smogged the group with the gloomy skies and hardened unforgiving earth. It feels suffocating, at least to Red,

Vio feels as comfortable as ever, he assures red that everything is fine, after all, why wouldnt it be? red got to know blue and green, got to know them really and truly, they were link just as him. Vio seemed too cruel to be Link. but then again Red was too sensitive.

......

it was so quiet. the Other Thing was here. Red had seen him from the corner of his eye. Maybe it was his imagination. Hed heard about people going crazy from paranoia... especially after encounters with the otherworldly: some sort of vengeful fae spirit was usually the culprit.... it never ended well ...

the Other Thing reveals himself.

Vio is thoroughly enraged, asking how dare it come back to try to steal his life again? and announcing he would end its pathetic life right now.

its easy to tell the difference between them now. Vio is there confident and fighting for his life... for his family. hes going to end this monster thats threatened his whole world and people he cares about. green and blue are there to support him no matter what. theyll NEVER get confused on who the real one is again. Theyre Brothers after all.

Red cant breathe... after all, he hates seeing "me fight me"

( yeah I took the line from the manga fight me)

The other vio looks ragged, like hes full of true bloodlust. hes thought through all of this, mastered his trickery to target them thoroughly. Using their weaknesses against them, catching them off guard with tools they've never seen... magic they've never seen..perfectly immoblized by the paralyzing smoke.

Only Vio escape it seemingly, recognizing the toxin for what it was.vio always knew what was going on. It really was like the fire temple in a way. one link fighting the other evil link, except the real link had vios lying face- the same face he had when he had to fight green-

Green tells vio to be strong and to end The Thing right then and there no matter what !!!! and theyll be able to support him in just a second- Once the toxin wears off- Blue is cheering him on in killing that demon.

Red cant tell the difference between them anymore. its all a heated smolten blur ... He didn't realize he was crying.

The Other Thing is ragged, fractured mind- dirtied hands, bruised eyes, matted hair and death in his eyes. Then...

He chokes Vio with a chain magic, oh so similar to the ones hed been sealed in. they have to watch their brother struggle to break free... The Other Thing is inhuman, yet... his hands are getting weaker as he keeps going- fighting against Vio's struggle- never giving up- never looking back- eyes staring into the demons- The demon red believed in-

And then the screaming started, inhumane overlapping screeches of death- bubbling skin and gore, the blood melting off the distorted body that was Vio.

Reds eyes seemed to have magically cleared in time to take in the sight before him.

Then a dark static buzzes, trapped under the flesh- no the sillhouette of what used to be vio- Screaming and thrashing and then its dead and Other Vio stands, then he's fallen and sobbing-

hes so sorry hes so so sorry he shouldve been better- that the magic was a trick that took his form- he couldnt explain it to them he tried with red but put Red in danger- he knows hes the real one- please please please believe him-

Red races to him stumbling from poison or exhaustion he doesnt know- Green is sick. And Blue is the paler color of his name sake. Eyes widened and horrified. They should have listened to Red.

:) congrats! you made it to the end have some emotional support cookies! 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

[desolateyears]

1k of ldr/online steddie angst…enjoy🫡

long distance relationships are hard. but they are so rewarding. 

theres something thats so intentional about online relationships, the amount of commitment in them. its not as easy to take for granted the time that you spend together. 

eddie cant just jump in a car and drive for twenty minutes to get to the person he loves.

it takes calculated thought. budgeting, organizing, commitment, and so, so much patience. 

its eddie picking up hours for that extra bit of money so he can take steve on a date he deserves when he finally visits again. 

embarrassingly enough, its buying a bed frame and asking wayne to help him put it together because hes not making steve sleep on the fucking mattress on the floor with him. its putting way more effort to make your shitty apartment into something more cozy, to feel comfortable and safe. 

its brushing teeth and taking meds together because eddie and steve kinda have a hard time remembering small things like that. the small things that make you take care of yourself just a little better.

its purposefully making space in the otherwise busy parts of their lives. slowing down the seconds for one another. 

sometimes literally. eddie and steve somehow are always a few seconds off when they watch tv shows or movies, even though they both count 3, 2, 1, together. 

eddies a bit of a mess, is the point, and theyre slowly putting all of his pieces back together. not for steve, but with steve. and, in person or not, thats one of the most rewarding things about being in love with someone.

steves the kind of person that makes everyone around him want to be better. theres something effortless in the way that he loves people. and eddie feels like a god damn cat taking a nap in the sun with the amount of warmth that he feels thinking that hes one of the lucky few that steve gives that blinding love to. 

its insane how much phone calls, texts, face timing can still shine so much light on the careful gentleness that steve gives freely. right in stride with the sassy bullying. he’s endearing, the little quips and snarkiness that he gives everyone, but not too mean. never too mean, never mean enough for someone to doubt how much steve loves them. its the endless patience he gives eddie, where eddie gets easily annoyed by shit and it takes him a bit longer to cool down. 

its pretty safe to say that he knew within like 2 weeks of meeting online that he was falling in love with him. 

which is probably why this is the hardest break up Eddies gone through.

he didnt want to break up but it just wasnt. working. steve cancelled the trip he was supposed to be taking to visit eddie while they were fighting. 

he didnt think they were fighting like that. like breaking up fighting. he didnt want to break up. 

and thinking that steve gave up, just throwing in the towel? well, its safe to say that eddie did not handle that really well.

so the fighting gets worse, eddie gets madder and then steve gets madder. and at this point the original problem has been forgotten and every other problem theyve had has been brought up again.

and listen, theres lots of good things about long distance relationships. 

but the worst thing?

the worst thing about it is getting blocked when you’re in the middle of fighting. when someone just gets so mad and its so easy to press a button.

it feels like a physical wall has been put up and he has no hope of tearing it down. he cant just, go and talk to steve when theyre both calm. its just over, done, nothing to do anymore. 

no closure. 

so it tears away at the bits and pieces that they built up together. and eddies not blaming him. its just, the grief of losing someone like steve? well it kinda brings on this tunnel vision, he cant focus on anything else.

it feels like hes finding ghosts in every corner he finds himself drawn to. 

something that eddies completely forgotten only to be brought right into view again. 

and the worst is the mundane things. things that steve doesnt even know that he’d remember. things that steve didnt realize that eddie was taking note of.

like he was reading this book one night, and steve had a nightmare so eddie read to him on call, and he really really doubts that steve even remembers because of how tired he was. 

but eddie remembers. 

music is an obvious one. 

or oh yeah, eddie passed by this tree where he took a picture of himself to send to steve and it was so inconsequential at the time but now he'll think of it any time he walks past.

its the train ride home.

its even being at work, calling him because eddies having a panic attack again but he cant leave just yet but even if hes just hearing steve talk to robin or mumbling under his breath while doing something, it just helps.  because eddies kind of bad at asking for help, but somehow steve made him feel like he was always there and could trust that. 

and now when eddie has a bad day at work or a fight with his friends, he instinctively thinks of steve. and not even because these things are so drastic or anything, steves just the first person he thinks to call.

every time it rains it reminds him of steve. but not even because steve liked rain all on its own. but because he said it reminded him of eddie when they were together. how he just thinks of the rain because eddie always sends him pictures of rainbows. or snails that come out to soak it all up. or how eddie looks like a wet poodle when hes drenched in it, because he forgot to take his umbrella with him again. 

so steve tells him, yeah the rain reminds me of you. and so now eddie doesnt even like the rain that much because its something that steve loved about eddie and it just hurts that he took that little piece of eddie, he took his own notes of inconsequential things to love and he's still gone.

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[quodekash]

its been an hour and a half and I am precisely 17 minutes through the episode. this is gonna be a long night

SO-

SO WHY-

SO WHY DIDNT YOU-

WHY THE HELL DID YOU NEVER FREAKING TALK TO YOUR SON ABOUT SOCCER BITCH????

HE'S CLEARLY INTERESTED IN IT TOO

maybe you could've talked to him about it when he was asking you about fifa

you recognised the game, and he said "do you know this game?" and instead of telling him what you know about the game, or how you used to play it, or engaging in some kind of conversation, you say "Ive seen a lot of young people playing it during my campaign" because all you seem to care about is politics and the campaign, and teenagers as a whole generic concept rather than as individuals, and you dont seem to think of your SON as an individual

and I get that parenting is mistakes over and over again and its a learning experience for everyone involved, but I feel like after 18 years maybe you should have a hang on like. holding a positive conversation with your son for over 90 seconds?

WHY THE HELL DID HE NEVER TALK TO HIS SON ABOUT SOCCER, THATS ALL I WANT TO KNOW

SURELY HE SAW SAILOM AND KANG TRAINING VIGOROUSLY FOR KANG TO TRY OUT FOR THE TEAM

HE COULDVE JUST GONE OUT THERE AND SAID "hey I used to play a lot, can I help give some pointers?" AND HE COULDVE PLAYED SOCCER WITH YOUR SON AND HAD A GOOD POSITIVE BONDING EXPERIENCE WITH HIM

BUT NO, INSTEAD HE DECIDES TO PAY TO GET KANG ON THE TEAM

and I get that he had good intentions, he saw that kang wanted to be on the team so he wanted to ensure that kang got what he wanted. but it would've been better to actually show an interest in his sons interests rather than keeping it on the sidelines, to let his son work for a reward rather than just giving it to him without having achieved anything.

sorry I need to shut up about this man but I have so many thoughts and he could be doing so much better but he just isn't

yes

yes

thank you sailom, thank you

yeah, that about sums it up

good job

you got there

finally

but even though its been so long of you neglecting him, it's not too late to try to slowly fix those broken bonds

if you both work together, you can work this out

(ah crap now ive got the song from high school musical 2 stuck in my head)

(what is it with this series and making me think of high school musical)

BRO JUST DID THE SPLITS

THATS IMPRESSIVE

are you okay my guy?

ahhhh

okay

so the root of the issue: terrible communication

juST TALK TO YOUR SON-

how very heartliming of them

noooooo the angst is already here

they had the scene PERFECTLY set up for a tender guynawa moment, and yet they dove right into the angst

guy was injured and in the nurse's office thing

when guy got injured, nawa looked so worried about him

there was a perfect opportunity for nawa to go visit him and tease him lovingly and for them to have a thuakan moment in the sickbay

but no, of course its episode 10 and of course they're following the msp formula where they develop the side couple an insane amount in episode 9 and then come episode 10 and its focused on one of the main character's and their parent

which like is fair, both this plotline and the msp episode 10 plotline are very important but like come on man I just want my side couple content

oh

oh crap that is bad

but he'll be fine

right?

he'll be okay

he's still alive right?

he's just unconscious

the ambos are there, they'll patch him up and he'll be okay

please

kang and kong need to repair their relationship, and it's not too late for that

right?

surely

crap im scared

they didnt kill gim in msp, I have to trust that they wont kill kong

istg if they make both the main characters orphans--

ha fun.

this is so fun.

I am highly amused in this present moment.

how wonderful it would be to see your boyfriend's father potentially dying, and then moments later to see your brother being restrained and taken out of the house, clearly being arrested for that exact crime.

just such a... joyous experience.

HOLY CRAP THE EPISODE STARTED AIRING TWO HOURS AND TEN MINUTES AGO AND IM ONLY JUST NOW ON 2/4, I HAVE A PROBLEM

SEE??? HE'S FINE, ITS FINE, I TOLD YOU IT WOULD BE FINE

ALL OF YOU WERE SO SO WORRIED BUT I WAS COMPLETELY CALM AND COLLECTED

HOY FRICK NOODLES COVERED IN GRAVY AND DOING THE NUTBUSH IM SO RELIEVED

CRAPPP

WHAT THE HELL??

it was an accident right?

or was he trying to keep name out of trouble

FRICK NOW THIS IS MAKING ME THINK OF FREAKING JUSTINE FROM SHAKE AND STIR PRODUCTION OF FRANKENSTEIN THAT I SAW AT QPAC THE OTHER DAY (which, by the way: so freaking good. if anyone happens to be in Brisbane for whatever reason (im not sure why any of you would, I have precisely two aussie bl mutuals, and one of them lives in Melbourne and the other is my irl friend who I watched it with) and you have a spare 50 bucks lying around (anyone under 30 can get a youth ticket for 49 bucks I believe, which is like insanely cheap for such a high quality production), GO SEE IT, THIS IS AN ORDER)

oh I got distracted

anyway AAAAAAA SAIFAH'S GOING TO JAIL FRICK FRICK FRICK FRICK FRICK

...great. wonderful. so good.

I get it, kang's feeling a lot right now, which is fair because his father got shot for goodness sake, and his father might die, and he's already lost his mother, so he needs someone to blame, and saifah confessed to it, so why wouldn't he be angry at saifah?

but the problem comes in with associating saifah with sailom because they're brothers. he has every right to be angry with saifah (although I still believe saifah didn't actually shoot him), but sailom didn't touch that gun.

and now sailom's gonna have to go back to escorting, because if kang has kicked him out then he needs some way to find money, and that's when that scene from the trailers is going to happen

well now I feel like crap

is it time for a playful guynawa scene to lighten the mood? please tell me its time for a playful guynawa scene to lighten the mood

what

hey

hang on

wait a second

you told him to do it, didn't you??

you asked for his help for a few things

is he just acting surprised? why does he have to say that? he doesnt have to say anything at all he could just be like "well this sucks" and not like condemn him or whatever, I still dont think saifah actually did anything wrong

maybe he was manipulated as well?

maybe the guy, his boss, snuck in and he was the one who shot him, and name didnt know that guy was there so in his mind it must've been saifah?

or maybe hes testing ging to see what she actually thinks on the situation

I have literally no clue right now im so confused

GUY

HES IN HOSPTIAL

HE JUST HAD SURGERY

SO

SO

IS NAWA GONNA SHOW UP?

WILL HE HAVE A GIFT BASKET OR SOMETHING?

PLEASE I JUST NEED SOME HAPPINESS

AND I NEED GUYNAWA

PLEASE GUYS

MAYBE ALL THE FRIENDS SHOW UP

AUTO AND MAX AND NAWA

AND THEN AUTO AND MAX EXCHANGE A LOOK AND LEAVE NAWA ALONE WITH HIM

PLS I NEED IT

AWWWWWWWW

GOU4ERHSGPI4ERBNDPGIV

I LOVE ALL OF THESE POEPLE SO MUCH

OH????

YES

YES YE SYE SY EYS EY EY EYSH OM SO EXCITEF OMG

AND THEY WERE THE ENTIRETY OF THE PREVIEW FOR 3/4

ARE WE GONNA GET A WHOLE TEN MINUTES OF JUST GUYNAWA????? PLEASEEEEE

OMG

I WAS KIDDING ABOUT THE GIFT BASKET THING

BUT I WAS RIGHT ABOTU THE GIFT BASKET

THIS IS AMAZING

HES SO IN LOVE WITH HIM, HE WENT TO THE HOSPITAL ALONE TO GIVE A GIFT BASKET TO A GUY HE SUPPOSEDLY HATES BUT WHOM HE HAS HOMOEROTIC TENSION WITH

AAAAAAAAOUGHROJBD

I CANT BELIEVE I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE GIFT BASKET THIS IS FREAKING ADORABLE

BRO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE THIS LATE

and he doesnt have the gift basket anymore

has he already gone to visit guy and he's just come back

and we fully just missed an entire scene

guy only seems surprised that he's here outside of visiting hours

so they've already seen each other??? there was a whole scene of nawa giving guy the basket, and of them being queer as hell, and we didnt get to see it??????

TO THE ROOFTOP?

HONEY THIS IS A DATE

YOU'RE TAKING HIM ON ANOTHER DATE WITHOUT TELLING HIM ITS A DATE

JUST FREAKING MAKE OUT AREADY

also: the rooftop???? thats an inherently patpran thing. and patpran = soundwin. soooo... this is more evidence that guynawa are a different brand of soundwin

EVERYONE'S SO KIND TO HIM IM GONNA CRY

oh, honey...

ITS A DATE

ITS A FRIKIN DATE

THIS IS A FRIKIN DATE

HOLY FRICK

idk, maybe itll be easier to spot if you kiss first

2 hours of them just sitting there in silence?? when they couldve been kissing or holding hands or something?

NOOO I RAN OUT OF IMAGES HANG ON GUYNAWA JUST GIMME A SEC

(ps I forgot to actually post this one, I accidentally saved it as a draft so its coming after the final post I made lmao)

[toppamplemousse]

fic writer interview (ty @formulaocean for the tag!)

taken literally forever to get around to this but can never resist the opportunity to yap. below the cut <3

How many works do you have on ao3?

10 public and 6 anonymous hehe

What’s your total word count?

201,602 -- an INSANE amount. also considering that 1 fic makes up 100k of that, and all the other 15 are the other 100k. lol.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

there you'll stand (next to me) -- duh. this has 3x the amount of kudos as the next one LOL

bottle episode

temp get to you

La Rentrée

and then this one oop

i usually have them sorted by hits, but this is NO surprise. bottle ep and temp get to you were almost tied for kudos

Do you respond to comments? Why/ why not?

we try to all the time -- but its harder on the older fics. i genuinely try to respond to as many as possible but it just isn't feasible. but we are so so so so grateful for all of them

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

OBVIOUSLY my beloved neither do you. its the only unhappy ending and BOY is it unhappy

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

hmmm they all really have "happy endings" i suppose. some of the smut is less happy i guess LOL. probably there you'll stand because its happy AND you get to read about it. i usually love to end once they get together so you never get to see them actually like, in love etc.

Do you write crossovers?

not really!! its either canon or just. normal au

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

no :( obviously i dont want hate but i did think stepdad sebchal might have elicited SOME haters.....alas. just means i need to make it worse.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

HELL YEA!!!!!! any kind. the more rancid the better

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i hope not (re: the plagiarism scandal -- id be honored that someone felt a fic was worth stealing. and then id kill them with hammers)

Have you ever had a fic translated?

no lol. not crazy abt it sorry - too protective.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

THESIS OF THE ACCT. all of the fics are written by the two of us running this account. some more than others but there's always always been input for every single fic from both of us. except the anonymous ones. thats just me (charlie). sorry.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

we are first and foremost larry stylinson girls. always. but for f1 its lestappen DUH and then sebchal.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

sigh....... i'd love to think all the wips will get finished. but there's a landoscar spinoff of tys(ntm) that i doubt will ever get finished because we are now more anti-lando lol than we were when we started. so its hard to continue. also because i'm too interested in writing new things, not wanting to go back to that universe.

What are your writing strengths?

hmmm. tricky. i think we do angst quite well - it's much easier for me to make them Suffer than it is to write them happy and in love i think. like the emotions and torment just come a lot more natural. and i do think sometimes our smut does eat. personally.

What are your writing weaknesses?

DIALOGUEEEEEE. this is charlie speaking saying em basically wrote all dialogue for TYS(NTM). and genuienly like. most of the KILLER lines were not me. i just can never think about what someone would say or how they would communicate if not blunt honesty. you can tell if i wrote the majority of a fic because it's just descriptions.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

occasional words -- fine. anything else, i don't necessarily agree with. there's usually errors and/or it just doesnt make sense for the intended audience.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

f1 babey!!!!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

like lets be fr, we are only writing f1. ship..... there's a maxiel/chestappen wip in the brain. i am not writing for the ship though. i am writing because the idea plagues me. but its always gonna be lestappen or sebchal. wait also. 4433 in the works.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

it always always has to be tys <3 but la rentree was the most fun to write for sure. and bottle episode. those 3 i think. but tys ... i cannot describe what it was like to spend 3 months writing this and editing and so many facetime calls and google doc comments and etc etc

tagging @gayferrari @bumblewyn @charleslelurk and (shooting my shot here) @chubbydino <3 and anyone else!!!!! MWAH

[kworus]

As promised, here's an analysis of why I firmly believe Aziraphale's actions in s2e6 are in character and why I don't believe in the coffee theory. Obviously I could be wrong but I've been overanalyzing everything to distract myself from THE HORRORS so here's this. ***good omens s2 spoilers below.*** this is kinda long btw

If yall dont know, the coffee theory revolves around the coffee the metatron gave to Aziraphale, and claims that he was poisoned/brainwashed by said coffee. The two main arguments, excluding that to many aziraphale felt ooc, are that a small miracle sound could be heard and that the metatron puts some attention to the amount of almond syrup in the coffee, as if he was hiding some kind of smell. I lowkey believed this theory because it is true that Aziraphale´s actions feel weird, and something else has to be going on. But that is because we are seeing things from Crowley´s point of views.

Crowley sees this as Aziraphale choosing heaven over him, the same heaven that betrayed him and treated him like shit. On top of that, earlier he saw Gabriel and Beelzebub end up together so easily, and that is just so unfair to him. However, Aziraphale thinks he is not *going back* to heaven, he's changing it, because he truly believes heaven is good, its just the people running him that fuck everything up. Where Crowley saw an injustice with how easy it was for the ineffable bureaucracy aziraphale sees a chance, specially since he's now replacing Gabriel. If he could do it then so can he! He can make heaven worthy of him and Crowley.

Now i want to go back to the metatron for a moment and how i think he really is manipulating aziraphale. If he has the power to brainwash aziraphale to do whatever he wants what is the point of telling him he can be with Crowley to convince him? What the metatron is doing is convincing aziraphale that they are on the same side, after all they both enjoy human food and the metatron doesn't mind that he's with Crowley. It's also important to note that azi doesn't know in detail that even Gabriel couldn't convince the other angels of not making another armageddon. But even if he knew he has the metatron on his side right? He believes it can be different with him in charge. The coffee is just a way for the metatron to show his “human side” to aziraphale.

Back to aziraphale, one of the moments where he felt heavily out of character for me is when he says nothing lasts forever because he spent a whole season saving the earth just so he could enjoy earthly pleasures with Crowley, and he loves his bookshop so much. How can he give this up so easily? But what he probably meant was that he's willing to give everything on earth that he loves to safely be with Crowley, and his only way to do that is to change heaven from the inside. Otherwise, they would be fighting the armageddon over and over again. This IS in character for him if you see it from his perspective.

Finally, if aziraphales decision was only atributed to some kind of brainwashing all of the possible ineffable husbands future arc would lose all its meaning. Aziraphale has said at times that crowley goes too fast for him (he said it about driving too fast but symbolism) 6000 YEARS IS TOO FAST FOR HIM!!! He needs time to process everything and we even have a parallelism with nina and maggie. Everyone was expecting them to immediately end up together just because they fell in love and nina is now single, but she needs time and thats realistic!! Shes not ready for another relationship but eventually she will, and maggie will wait for her. Aziraphale and crowley have a similar situation, only with 6000 years of angst and ineffability. The coffee theory would erase all of the complexity and chance of development of aziraphale character. Lets remember that this is the worlds slowest slow burn, it wont become fast all of the sudden. So i guess we just have to wait and see and thats gonna drive me fucking insane.