#thats desperation talking

[here-there-be-drag0ns]

Chip not having a gaping hole in his chest post-death is the hill i will die on, actually. I am on my hands and knees. Please I am begging yall. He does Not have a hole in his chest where his heart was thats Not how he died guys I'm begging yall (<- guy at the end of their rope /dramatic)

[spacedace]

So like...Danny as Ghost King getting to help sort people into the correct/prefered afterlives, and talking with all the Justice League peeps to figure out what they want/where they want to go ahead of time like it's a pension plan or like he's a Travel Agent.

Like he gives tours around various afterlives around the Ghost Zone, offers up different "packages" they can choose from.

"With the Ghost Package you can come back to the living realm, but you will be locked in with an Obsession - it's not as bad as it sounds, but we can go into more detail later on what it entails if you're interested - and you will be bound to a particular Haunt. Also my parents might try to capture and experiment on you."

"Unfortunately you don't qualify for the Revenant package due to how many times you've already died and come back, but I *can* get you set up with one of our Reincarnation representatives if returning to the living world is something you are interested in."

"Guardian Spirit is a popular choice, so there is a bit of a waiting time in terms of getting paperwork processed, but if you sign up for it now while you're still alive all that can be done ahead of time and you can jump right in once you pass on. You will need to make sure you regularly update the list of who you will be watching over considering your propensity for adoption."

[overtake]

Max Verstappen Silverstone Interview | Can Max Be Beaten?

[ganondoodle]

okay i typed this in a reply but i need to say this more detailed here too, the way totk dealt with horses (and stables) is bad and worse than botw imo (yes i can rant about that too, these weird choices are in every little spot in totk, its almost impressive)

in a game that lets you build cars and stupid flying maschines, towers that shoot you into the stratosphere AND teleporting points all over the place, the chance is already low that you use a horse- though i would be one of them bc i love horses and hate building and didnt find it fun at all-

(also i almost never used any parts i had with me bc you cant put them back and your dumb vehicles despawn as soon as you dont look at them- also a negative thing about that system that reinforces the feeling of actually using it being more punishing than rewarding with the added bonus of the good ol saving your health potions forever problem)

-and something i DID like was that you can have more horses and the ... one.. new color (the lil spots but only AFTER you do that one quest in the spy post)

the stable points seemed like a neat idea, but like so many things, are utterly cheatable, imo the system should have only given you a point when you visit a new stable, so you actually have to go around and visit them all

(also .. add new stables, like mini ones or sth that dont offer beds- you dont need that anyway- so you have more places in which you can get them ... why did they remove some of them anyway, shouldn there be MORE now that the land is supposedly healing/being repaired? especially the one next to the big canyon, its so empty there it would have the perfect place for sth like a new settlement or a big boss arena but no its more empty than it was before, why?? and then putting yet another repeating annoying quest there in that weirld empty place?? i just dont get it)

letting you farm points by sleeping at a stable or bringing in a horse gives you LESS incentive to actually go around the world bc you can just farm it there

(and if that was done so youd 'discover' the malanya talks to you in your sleep 'secret' ... that is literally told to you, and if its bc you dont want to force players to go around and find every stable to get all those rewards ... why do you have 140 or whatver caves then with the majority of them being the literal same thing over and over ... to make people actually use the sleeping thing there? .. why, who uses that anyway, and farming points by sleeping there .. what the hell does that add? AND THEN the stupid sleep over tickets, probably the most nothign reward ever, dont count?? i dont think i ever used one- it just all doesnt make any sense, everything plays against each other)

the upgrading system for your horse is .. once again, a neat idea horribly executed, you have to go find malanya to upgrade them, and similarly stupidly like the fairies, they only tell you what food you need for what upgrade when you are there .. or when you are sleeping in the special tm bed at a stable, randomly, one food, bc the quantity changes too

which is just so ??????????? let me go and do a quest that rewards you with a lil booklet in which you can look up what an upgrade costs, or let the stables have that, either as a list or in the menu when selecting a horse or something?? (also why the hell is malanya in a different spot anyway, like, it feels like a modder just plopped them over there, their og spot is just empty now - except for yet again a stupid filler quest for .. another big horse and a yaaaaaaaaays crystal shrine quest- ... the spot is even still called spring of the horse god .... its so stupid, just like the fairy shuffling around, like you really couldnt think of a better way to reuse that concept other than to ... move it to a different spot in the same map and map level???? and not change anything in their og spot except idk, put a hole in the map ... for one of them like .. its like they moved them around last minute just to have the semblance of things being 'changed' with no regard what makes a change actually feel like one and what just feels like, pick up thing, click on random spot on map, drop thing- its like that for the fairies and shrines too, its so dumb and .. feels disrepectful to botw and how much thought seemed to have went into these spots that were clearly built about those things)

and like it couldnt get WORSE, they cut off the paths that horses follow automatically with one of those miasma buttholes (sorry its just a hole cut into the map, it doesnt even look like miasma burst through, it just .. cut out) a monster camp (that RESPAWNS, i thought those camps you clear with a quest would stay clear, but that would make sense, so of course it respawns and you can do the frame rate killer quest over and over yippieee) or otherwise like, with a big rock or a broken bridge-

and there is NO WAY to create a new path or fix or move anything in a game ABOUT BUILDING supposedly, like you needed more reasons to never use a horse????? i liked jsut hopping on and letting them follow a path and chill looking at the landscape, you cant do this here, and you cant even excuse it with 'its bc of the theme' as in, stuff is destroyed bc calamity 1.5 or whatever bc nothing in the game makes it feel like theres anything actually at stake, but the real crime is to make it not be fixable. WHY??? link moves entire buildings with ease but cant move one freaking rock that fell into a river?????? you swing around logs like a club but cant fix a bridge so your horse can get over it??????????????????????????????

[gambeque]

therapy sesh

[harbingersglory]

i know i said more dom!reader blah blah blah sorry arlecchino rotted my brain severely. tmasc bunny!arle giving me severe brain damage /pos

(he/him prns used for arle)

at a glance, the big ears and small puffball of a tail might temporarily make you think Arlecchino is far sweeter then he actually is. how could anyone who looked so cute be anything but, right?

but you know better. you serve under Lord Arlecchino - literally. tucked under his desk while he makes you slobber and choke all over his strap. you barely get to breathe with his hand fisted in your hair, keeping you right where he wants you. if you've been particularly exemplary on your little missions, he might even let you sit on his lap. though whether thats worse or not is debatable, making you cockwarm him as he works. and you'd better keep quiet, too. he's not above muzzling you or just straight up shoving his fingers into your mouth to silence you while you squirm on his lap.

maybe if you last until he's done he'll fuck you properly. bend you over his desk and pound your pretty little holes until you're unable to stand. he'll still make you clean up his strap afterwards, of course.

it's when he's in a bad mood that he really gets going. sheds the act of polite, dignified little bunny. no, he's here to break you in and use you like the little toy you are. and you'll let him, won't you? drooling all over his strap when he fucks your throat raw, drags you into the nearest room the moment he sees you to watch your eyes roll back into your head as his cock stretches you out..

he's just as much of a mess as you are when he's this pent up, though. he doesn't bother keeping up appearances when he just has some pent up stress to get out. if you could even think straight you'd notice his puffball of a tail wagging and his ears drooping as he ruts into you, panting and grunting against your ear when you cum around his strap for the tenth time. you could almost swear you heard him whimper, but you'll be in a world of punishment if you mention it the next day (he absolutely did).

[lorephobic]

literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped

A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence

an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.

thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag

A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn

a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in

alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship

The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]

how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired

may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn

alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay

Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry

a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion

a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such

least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn

if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me

edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!

[apocalyptic-byler]

IF BYLER’S FIRST KISS ISNT LIKE JANCY’S FIRST KISS THEN I DONT WANT IT

[mydream-synopsis]

here me out i think togame and endo are two sides of the same coin.

they are willing to do anything for choji and chika, respectively, but they do so in two very different ways - endo destroys, while togame fixes.

for endo, takiishi is his god: whatever chika shows is right, is endo's definition of right. takiishi's actions are absolutes, and endo is his most devoted follower. therefore, endo does every thing to provide, even if that means burning down the world till only its ashes are left. like he did for this arc, he would dig a path with his bare hands for takiishi, so chika doesn't need to lift a single finger.

on the other hand, togame knew what he did was wrong. he knows he should have made sure that choji did not step into the wrong mindset that day in front of the ori. but, he couldn't bring himself to do so because choji is his king, and he is merely a knight in service. whatever tomiyama wishes is his command. however wrong choji's decisions may have been, togame's decision was to protect him and his authority as the leader of shishitoren.

that's why im really excited to see how endo and takiishi reach a conclusion at the end of this arc. for togame, meeting sakura and being confronted of his own decisions had pushed him to realise his own doing; this makes togame's decision to go to sakura with hiiragi, suo, nirei, and sugishita a major turning point for his character - for the first time, togame became his own person. this is my own assumption, but im guessing that togame chose to go to the bridge where sakura would be rather than to go with choji, as both a strategy for the fight and as a gesture for sakura. this was the first time he wrote his own morals.

as for endo, his fight with sakura is the first time he was ever "seen". this is what endo has been searching for this whole time; he just wanted someone to see him, and only him for even just a second. now the question is, can endo receive this from takiishi? can umemiya bring takiishi to this realisation, just like he did for choji? most importantly, what will endo choose?

(also. i really hope we get to see takiishi's backstory. because it's interesting how, even with the way he reacts to endo, he does Not actually get rid of him. takiishi has the power to practically end him on the spot but he doesn't!!!!!!!! WHY.)

[seiwas]

SEL MY SEL …….. crawling over here for the ask game …………… you already know . who i’m going to ask for phdkdjdkdb IN MY DEFENSE I WILL NEVER GET OVER YOUR VERSION OF HIM !!!!!!!

….. sugu ….. with ’sun’ ……. maybe 👉👈

(🍵 <- a little matcha for your troubles … good luck with the writing exercises my loveee <33 i’m cheering you on!!!)

ARI 🥹🥹🥹🥹 hehe ofc i shall write sugu for u! writing him is always so fun 🥹 thank you for the prompt, and for the matcha!! i will be sipping it as i write this 🥹 it is not a trouble at alllll!! esp if it's for youuuuu 🫶

contains: beautiful, gorgeous, sexy neighbor suguru, mood can be a bit unsettling... honestly a little stockholm syndrome-y (does this count as dark? idk 😭), skewed concept of reality and time

suguru + sun

you move into a new neighborhood on your 24th birthday.

it's a quaint house, fully furnished with wooden panels lining its contemporary build. you consider yourself lucky for finding a place this well-kept at the price point you offered. you're honestly surprised that suguru, your now landlord, accepted your application.

the area sits a few kilometers on the outskirts of the city, but it feels neither too quiet nor too busy; a perfect balance with an impressive view of the rising sun this early in the morning. that, and the people seem friendly, greeting you as they pass by. they even offer to help you haul things out of your car and into the house.

to the right of your house is one that holds the same design elements at yours, although a bit darker in its tones. it's sleek and modern, befitting of a bachelor.

"you must be the new tenant," a voice speaks from behind you, syrupy and smooth. you didn't even hear his footsteps.

when you turn around, you're met with a tall man who greets you with his arms held behind his back as he tilts his head low. there's a calmness that radiates off him, a sort of gentleness that signals he’s someone you can trust.

you nod, introducing yourself with your hand outstretched towards him.

"suguru," he replies as his fingers grab yours delicately. your eyes widen in surprise, recognizing the name, and he merely chuckles in return, a soft laugh that brings out kindness in his eyes.

"i should greet you properly," he lets go of your hand, placing it back behind him. "hello, new neighbor."

.

over shared breakfasts by your porch and impromptu dinners over at his, you grow a liking to suguru. he's polite and thoughtful, often knocking at your door in the mornings to offer you a cup of tea to watch the sunrise.

"you'll only find sunrises like this here," he leans back on the wooden chair you set out as outdoor furniture. his head tilts towards you slightly, impossibly close as you notice the corner of his lips curl up into a small grin.

hues of pinks, purples, and orange blend to illuminate his face perfectly. the sun is beautiful in front you, peeking between clouds as it inches away from the horizon, but something about him is infinitely more magnetic. your stare is immediately drawn to his lips, smooth and supple, before it meets his gaze.

you don't know what's worse―wanting to lean in or be pulled by the look in his eyes.

he fixes things that break in your home, always somehow knowing just when to show up. at first, it was your windows, the one by the attic, too high and dangerous for you to climb; then, it was your kitchen sink, its pipes regurgitating the water going down the drain. he's begun to bring you your groceries too, often asking for a list of what you need when he makes trips out of town.

your days blur easily when you're with suguru, and time passes almost fleetingly as you find your hours filled with soft laughs and touches so delicate you sometimes wonder whether they're real.

it should be noted, you think, how much time has passed since you first met him―an anniversary of some sort.

.

you learn that he owns both houses―his and the one you're currently renting. it once belonged to a friend who had to move for bigger, greater responsibilities elsewhere, he'd said.

"why did you decide on renting?" you ask him one night, over wine and candlelight.

your fingers fiddle with his as he sits you on his lap, this thing between you growing more intimate lately. he rubs his thumb along your thigh, resting his chin by your shoulder.

"you could have sold it or something."

he presses his lips gently on your collarbone.

"i could've," his fingers trail up to your waist, crossing your chest before landing on your chin, cupping it lightly to face him. your heart is hammering in your chest, senses on fire as his nose kisses yours. you think you can count every mole that dots his face beautiful. then, he inches closer, lips grazing yours as he whispers, "but i was waiting for you."

.

you mark each day at sunrise.

your digital clocks and calendars stopped working after some time, but you don't mind. suguru always tells you what date it is when you ask.

this morning, you wake up in his bed, and the sun is still as breathtaking as you remember it, the same pink, purple, and orange hues streaming through his window. when you look closely, the clouds―

"good morning," he brings you tea in bed, his hair topped off with a bun, a half-up-half-down.

your stomach fills itself with something warm and fuzzy as you smile at him, "morning."

"slept well?" his hand reaches for your waist under the duvet, and you giggle, ticklish.

"very," you crane your neck to land a soft kiss on his lips. "what date is it today?"

"october 28," he supplies.

your eyebrows shoot up as you realize, "i have to bring my car to the mechanic."

it's been 6 months now since your last check, right before you moved, and though you barely use your car anyway, it's best to be safe.

you quickly move to get up but suguru's hand keeps you in place, firmly pressed on your waist.

"i'll do it," he says with a smile on his face, "you rest here."

.

you barely see your other neighbors except for the girl who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day and the twins down the street.

when you ask suguru about it, he dismisses the question quickly, saying, "must have moved," as he urges you to take another sip of your tea.

you dream of them that night, on bare streets; it wakes you in a cold sweat, the image of your neighborhood reduced to just your house and suguru's.

.

this is the 200th sunrise since you started counting, which means this is the 200th day since you and suguru officially got together. kind of.

your gift for him is a painting of the sunrise, because it reminds you of him; and because it's become your favorite thing to look forward to, too.

the pinks and purples blend together beautifully as it contrasts with the orange hues, and the sun continues to peak above the horizon as it settles between clouds.

suguru kisses you when you give it to him, the taste of tea right on his tongue.

he frames it on his bedside, and when you wake in his room the next morning, it greets you along with the back of his head, fast asleep.

your eyes flit to the view outside his window, the same pinks, purples, and orange hues. you tilt your head curiously, brows furrowing. the sun stays at the same spot above the horizon, and when you look at the painting again, the clouds hold the same position and shape.

a chill washes over you, your hearbeat pounding.

.

"what date is it today?" you ask suguru as you wash the potatoes in the sink.

another bag of groceries from suguru. now that you think about it, you don't think you've ever gone to the grocery store since moving.

"is it important?" he responds, slightly snappy. you've begun to notice that he hates it when you ask lately.

you eye him from the side.

"i was thinking of preparing a menu of what we'll eat during the holidays, if it's near."

the furrow on his brows smooths out as you give your answer, and so he says, "december 5."

and you know something is wrong, because that can't be it. it doesn't make sense with the sunrises you've counted.

.

you dream again, more and more as the days go by―dirt roads and your house and suguru's, run-down and empty. more things start breaking in your apartment, and suguru always knows when they need to be fixed.

there's a deep, twisting feeling in your stomach that intensifies, festering under your skin; it worsens in the mornings, when you sit with suguru at your porch and you think you see a crack in the sunrise.

.

sunrise valley the place where the sun never sets! ─── beautiful, bright, and destined for people who live just like you! find your new home here.

[DISCONTINUED] — FOR DEMOLITION ON DECEMBER 7. under investigation for suspicious spiritual activity and missing persons.

[strawglicks]

huge fan of the idea that flint cant handle what he dishes out.

they are too shy to be confrontational so as a result they let ppl walk all over them which i imagine results in pent up anger that they release thru talking shit behind ppls back .

and i get this impression from this exchange right here:

flint talking poorly of the satellites, followed by "oh no i shouldnt have said that" implies he KNOWS he shouldnt be saying it and will get confronted for it, further implying hes done it before. cosmo's rant also implies this is a common occurrence that, tbh, he is rightfully angry for. and most of the things he points out abt flint in said rant arent wrong at all.

flint can talk big all they want, but never to someone's face bc they cant handle the confrontation that comes with it. it's cowardly, there's no self-respect to be had there. its just flints attempt to feel confident/better abt themselves. and i really hope to see more of this aspect of his character, ESPECIALLY in canon since, apparently, this 1.3 blogpost isnt explicitly canon (which saddens me every time i think about it.)

btw i feel the need to add on that i dont think flint's wrong or lying abt the satellites. What I'm condemning them for is the fact they're talking shit but then cant handle the consequences. If ur gonna talk behind peoples backs and stir the pot, you should be able to say the same shit to their face as well. Cosmo certainly doesnt appreciate how flint views his boys, but i feel like even HE would have a little more respect if flint just had enough courage to say it to his face.

But they dont, because they look up to Cosmo and dont want to be on his bad side, making it even more difficult for Flint to be confrontational . he has no desire to start problems with cosmo HIMSELF, just the satellites. (ppl forget this and treat it like flint has issues with cosmo, but thats not true . flint admires cosmo, likely due to his confidence and leadership skills since its smth flint craves having for himself, and erasing that aspect is a HUGE injustice to a really fun and interesting dynamic !)

i feel like the detail that flint likes drama ALSO plays a part in all this. enjoys drama, probably watches it from afar, but the moment it involves him, hes a total coward lmao

[scummy-writes]

If I have you blocked, please do not message me on other accounts. If you know I have you blocked on one place, please do not try to reach out to me if you find out i didn't block you on another place.

It is very frustrating knowing that some people, not everyone, will see that I have them blocked and will go through different accounts to send me anons or dms. I know that when it gets to that point, it is a bit pointless to try and publicly ask someone like that to just leave me alone, but you know! I still wanna like. Ask you. To leave me alone if I have made it clear multiple times that I don't want to interact with you. I don't really care if you believe its unfair that I have you blocked. Unfortunately, in the world of online spaces, if I decide that I don't want to talk to you because i felt so uncomfortable that I decided to block you, thats me expressing a boundry. That's me saying 'please leave me alone'.

I'm some weirdo online who writes mid smut of traumatized guys. I should not be so important to you that you want to try and contact me through alt accounts or get upset when I continue to block you. I am uncomfortable. You reaching out knowing this, does not make that uncomfortable go away. It makes me more defensive, less willing to talk, and more prone to snapping and popping off if it does happen. I know it hurts when someone blocks you, but you need to understand that pushing for yourself to be unblocked through friends or anons, only makes the situation worse. There are so many other people to befriend who are so much nicer than I'll ever be, please leave me alone.

[speakofthedebbie]

sorry fellas, the context got exterminated /j

[bucket-puns]

Why haven't you been eating, Queequeg?

[ganondoodle]

i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo

[talxns]

gonna share some headcanons on specific ways that i think bruce changes behaviorally, physically & psychologically after taking in lil dickie (and touch on how it leads to his codependence)

bruce eats more “indulgent” food.

before taking in dick, bruce was incredibly strict with his nutrition. he was single-mindedly focused on performing optimally and that extended to how he ate and trained. food was strictly about the energy it could provide him and he thought little of how it tasted. during this period of time, bruce is the leanest and fastest he’d ever be as batman.

dickie is brought under his wing and there is a shift nutritionally. alfred is making sweets, and bruce is now taking a cookie (or two) from the tray, since dick is sitting with him and crunching on one. dick is offering him animal crackers in the car and bruce is not going to say no. dick wants ice cream and when bruce takes him to get it and dick asks which flavor bruce wants, bruce concedes to a small scoop. dick is hand feeding him his french fry order on a roof during a reconnaissance mission. bruce finds eating enjoyable again.

bruce puts strong focus on strength training

bruce always did strength training. but now that he has robin, he is training with heavier weight to account for however much dick weighs at any given point + his equipment. he wants to make sure that he’s able to be just as effective in case he has to carry robin around, and so he incorporates that into his training regimen.

bruce’s flexibility increases

dick encourages bruce to stretch much more often, something they do together, which improves bruce’s flexibility and lessens his instances of injury. additionally, he carries less muscle tension.

he gets more sleep

bruce has had trouble sleeping his whole life. for one, he’s not sleeping enough to begin with. when he tries to sleep he has insomnia. when he manages to fall asleep there is a high chance of having unpleasant dreams. when he can’t sleep he gets up and does things like research or training. the lack of sleep makes him (surprise) more susceptible to injury and illness. it negatively affects his concentration and memory. it makes him even surlier than usual. the only way bruce gets a “good” nights rest is collapsing from exhaustion.

and then he takes in dick. and dick is absolutely crawling in bruce’s bed. because now, dick is struggling with those same issues: insomnia, nightmares. and he is not used to being so alone at night and lacking physical reassurance. both of them are getting the delicious oxytocin they are deprived of and it increases their sleep quality exponentially. it’s much easier to fall asleep again after a nightmare when you’re being held or at least feel the presence of another next to you. and they can both cry against each other and be vulnerable and let their emotions out if they need to.

he learns to enjoy life outside of the mission

bruce did not “waste” his time with “unproductive” things like watching movies or playing games. that is, until he had dick, who wanted to have fun, as a child naturally does. dick wanted to watch movies, he wanted to play games, he wanted to spend leisure time. and bruce finds himself, surprisingly, enjoying those leisurely moments very much. this is how we get version of bruce and dick who do everything together. they are playing chess together, watching tv together, playing sports, playing games, reading poetry, studying, learning about the world around them, etc etc. bruce is able to take his mind off batman and relax. this is the kind of thing alfred is talking about when he says how good dick is for bruce (and the sleep thing!)

the physical effects

bruce gets bigger. he gains weight after he takes dick in. but it’s not all fat (there is a healthy level of fat, he’s not a dehydrated bodybuilder, he’s got a tummy) but a lot of it is packed into muscle that he is focusing his training on, especially as dick grows and gets heavier and bruce is compensating for that still, into dick’s teenage years. bruce has gone from lean to bulk. not quite a “dad bod” but he is noticeably bigger. he still retains his agility from frequent stretching.

he is healthier overall, with less injuries and instances of illness. the dark circles under his eyes are less pronounced. he smiles and he laughs more often.

he also probably gets his first few gray hairs during dick’s first proper year as robin out in the field.

most importantly, more than the behavioral and physical aspects, the most important thing that changes within bruce after taking dick into his life is:

appreciation for his own life and an active resistance to death

bruce was passively suicidal in his first years. he would jump into fights he wouldn’t be assured he’d make it out of. he’d make leaps he wasn’t sure he could make. he was sloppy and careless with his own life. he did not value himself.

he probably has a harrowing revelation one night after needlessly risking his life when he sees just how agonized dick is over it. he sees that fear of losing a loved one in dick’s eyes. and he realizes that he must live, because he is important, he is needed, and he is loved. despite all his self-hatred and flaws, he cannot deny it when he sees dick. and so! a novel appreciation and respect and reverence over himself previously never fathomed.

and so….

these are huge reasons why bruce was so nervous and upset about even the THOUGHT of dick leaving for college. he would absolutely, unquestionably miss dick. but he must have been aware of all of these improvements that dick brought to his life, behavioral and psychologically and emotional. and he is insecure because he knows that once dick is gone he will revert back to passively suicidal, surly, insomniatic, depressed and anhedonic. he isn’t going to keep eating indulgent foods if dick isn’t there. he isn’t going to watch movies or play games by himself. he does not believe himself able to continue these improvements because he has tethered them to dick, it’s all conditional, it’s whether dick is there or not. and that’s where we see this co-dependence to dick coming from bruce.

i think this is why when jason is put in front of him, bruce takes him in. because he is a child in need because he misses how life was with dick. because it was a vast improvement psychologically. and he doesn’t want to go back to how it was before he had dick