#thats bc both times she reacted BADLY

[maedaeme]

brother moved in with me due to an Abrupt Life Change, brought 2 old cats, which I understand is going to take adjusting but I am SO stressed because it is my cat that is being the problem

[sifutoph]

need us to stop being a silly little guy for one second and acknowledge that t0ph is rude and it isn't some funny trait. it's a flaw. its a reaction, sure, because her whole life she'd needed to play the part of being the obedient little girl and her rudeness is a result of wanting to affirm her independence and probs as a legitimate way to exercise her confidence and/or to go about her establishing boundaries or things she didn't like, but it's still a huge flaw.

[blackenedsnow]

GIRL, HOW DO YOU GET SO MANY REQUEST IN SUCH A SHORT TIME?!? It's scary but also beautiful!! 😭🤍 anyways I remember my requestss, so hear me outt.

Itoshi rin!Reader playing on the famous football team and shadow who's just a ultimate lifeform but also her big brother, they got on well because since both of them are cold and serious(i had actually thought for myers but shadow made more sense afterwards..!) Reader was constantly working hard to attend national matches and was winning the matches ahead of her,of course shadow always reminded her to not work too much hard but she didnt listen and shadow always find her training herself on the behind their luxury home, but right in the auditions,she injured herself because of her enemy, rouge..she was a cheerleader but she copied reader by the time pass (not mommyrouge),she could not be selected for the team because of her badly injury and of course months later she and rouge got matched in the football team again and this time shadow was watching.

They had won the match, but the stadium was also a big fight after her enemy was trying to objection, so the match was disqualified and the enemy side won.

Suddenly a blood splashed around the stadium grass, everyone screamed in terror while they tried to stop and while some of tried to escape.. Thats when shadow realized A bad, very bad thing happened of both them they, reader and her enemy, stabbed each other "by mistake" while they both holding on to their collars, their hand and neck veins could be seen bu gripping so hard. And somehow they bring a knife with them? And of course reader was first one to pass out.

How would shadow react?

(This is kinda rushed bc I'm pretty tried from school and etc.)

Take care of yourselfs mi amorr! :3

blood and bonds

WARNING: Graphic injury descriptions, blood, violence, angst, and hospitals.

PAIRING: Brother! Shadow the Hedgehog & Sister! Reader

NOTE: Hi lovely! <3 Omg, first of all, I DON'T KNOW LOL!! Second, your request is wild and I absolutely LOVE IT. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself too, okay?

SUMMARY: After a brutal clash on the football field leaves you gravely injured, Shadow is forced to confront his greatest fear: losing you.

Shadow had always known you were relentless. Determined. Obsessively driven. You were like him in that way, and in a twisted sense, that’s why he felt at ease with you. You understood each other’s silences, the unspoken expectation to always be better.

Your career as a football player on the national stage was more than a goal—it was your entire existence. Every match was a war you had to win. Shadow admired that intensity, but he also feared it. Because he knew the cost of ambition unchecked. He’d seen it before. He lived it every day.

So, when he found you late at night, training under the cold moon behind your sprawling, luxury home, sweat-soaked and exhausted, he’d say the same thing:

“Enough, (Y/N). You’re overworking yourself.”

You’d never listen. You’d just flash a cold, determined look and say, “I can’t stop now, Shadow.”

And, in that quiet way of his, he’d stand by you, never saying more, but always watching. Because that’s what big brothers did.

The day of the auditions arrived like a storm. You were laser-focused, the crowd’s roar white noise in your ears. Everything hinged on this. But so did your enemy’s hopes.

Rouge—the smug, calculating cheerleader who’d copied your every move, not out of admiration, but to beat you at your own game. Shadow couldn’t stand her, but he trusted you to handle it. You always did.

But fate, or perhaps jealousy, had other plans.

One moment you were going past defenders, swift and deadly as a blade. The next, pain exploded in your knee. Rouge’s outstretched foot, an intentional trip disguised as an accident, sent you crashing to the turf. Agony radiated through your leg. You barely registered the gasps from the crowd.

Shadow’s eyes narrowed from the stands. His fingers curled into fists. He knew.

When you failed to get up, his chest tightened. Trainers rushed to your side, but you already knew. The dream was slipping away.

Your injury was severe. You weren’t selected. And just like that, everything you’d worked for unraveled.

The months after were bleak. The fire in you dimmed, but never fully extinguished. Shadow kept close, trying to shield you from your own despair. He reminded you of your worth, of your strength, but his words felt hollow against your silence.

Then, the news came.

A rematch. The same team. The same enemy. Fate had handed you another chance, and this time, Shadow would be there, watching your back.

The match was brutal. Every kick, every pass was filled with rage and precision. You were back, stronger, faster—unbreakable. Shadow’s eyes followed your every move, pride and worry fighting for dominance in his heart.

When the final whistle blew, victory was yours.

But victory was fleeting.

The objections started immediately. Rouge’s side refused to accept defeat. Words turned to shouts. Shouts turned to shoving. The air crackled with hostility.

Shadow’s instincts flared. He moved to the edge of the field, ready to intervene.

And then—

A scream.

A splash of red.

Time froze. Shadow’s eyes locked on the scene: you and Rouge, hands clenched around each other’s collars, faces twisted in rage and pain. Blood dripped from both of you, staining the green grass. The glint of a knife—two knives—slipped from your grips and clattered to the ground.

You staggered, eyes wide, hands trembling as blood bloomed across your side. Rouge crumpled too, clutching her shoulder.

And then you fell.

Shadow’s world shattered.

“(Y/N)!”

He was at your side in an instant, his hands hovering over you, unsure where to touch without making it worse. Blood soaked into your jersey, pooling beneath you. Your breaths were shallow, your eyelids fluttering.

“No, no, no—stay with me!” His voice cracked, fear slicing through his usual stoic demeanor.

You tried to speak, but only a weak gasp escaped.

Shadow’s teeth clenched. His hands shook with helpless rage. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He was supposed to protect you. And now—

Paramedics swarmed, pulling him back. He resisted, his red eyes blazing with fury. “Let me go!”

“Sir, we need space—”

“I said let me go!”

But even the Ultimate Lifeform couldn’t stop this.

They lifted you onto a stretcher, your body limp. Rouge was carried away too, but Shadow barely registered her. His entire universe narrowed to you.

The hours in the hospital were endless. Shadow paced the sterile hallways, his mind a storm of guilt and rage. Your stubborn determination, your refusal to rest—it had led you here. And he hadn’t stopped it.

Finally, a doctor emerged. “She’s stable, but it was close. She’ll need time to recover.”

Relief crashed over him, leaving him weak. He pushed into your room, his heart twisting at the sight of you—pale, fragile, but alive.

Your eyes opened slowly. “Shadow…?”

He took your hand, his grip firm, anchoring you. “I’m here.”

Tears welled up, spilling down your cheeks. “I’m sorry… I messed up.”

“No,” he whispered, his voice rough. “I should’ve protected you.”

You squeezed his hand, weak but determined. “We protect each other.”

Shadow’s throat tightened. He leaned in, pressing his forehead to yours. “Then let me protect you better this time. No more pushing yourself past the edge.”

You nodded, tears mingling with his. In that quiet, fragile moment, you both understood: strength wasn’t just fighting alone. It was knowing when to let someone stand by your side.

And Shadow would always stand by yours.

[pumpkinsy0]

Ok this might seem stupid but hear me out, perhaps we could get some headcanons of papercut in the events of the book but instead of Johnny it was Curly who stabbed the soc and him and Pony had to run away together? It would also be cool to see what the Curtis AND Shepard gangs reactions are

this aint stupid,,,,ur onto something here,,,,

•ok look, not REALLY related but curly woulda loved that white trash w mustangs and madras line, this white on white violence gotta STOP💔💯

•ANYWAYS, i think he’d put up more of a fight, he’d try to get to pony but they were outnumbered so he gets cornered, HOWEVER, he always carries some weapon on him, or maybe he picked up a coke bottle, POINT IS, bob still died lmao

•i dont think curly and pony would stay around that area as long as johnny and pony did, curly would want to leave as soon as he could so nobody could see them, so ponys forced to just get it together in under like 2mins so they could leave, so ponys disassociating badly

•theyd go to tim, curly doesnt like dally and tim IS his older brother, then tim would tell dally, and they still end up at the dirty ass church</3

•now curlys shaken up too, like hes not trying to show it to look tough, but hes never done THAT before, never flat out hurt someone that badly before, but he still doesnt regret it bc it was to defend pony, however considering hes black in the 60s in TULSA, hes so certain a judge will not gaf that it was outta self defense, so actually hes disassociatin too, they both a lil fucked up rn

•back at home, dally didnt tell darry or soda where they were but tim sure as hell did, he gets what darrys goin through cause theyre both older bros worryin over their younger bros, darry doesnt know HOW to react at all to it, he doesnt tell soda nor johnny, or anyone really, when two bit says he’ll go to texas (i think it was,,,) to look for him, darry says not to bother, so they all feel like darry knows where pony is and they dint know wether to be happy or terrified bc why isnt he tellin em or getting him??

•when it comes to the shepard gang, tim did tell some of em whats going on, only his trusted guys tho, theres basically nothing they CAN do to stop word from spreading about it bc the socs who were there already went to the cops, so they all have to lay low for a while, stay in line cause tim quite honestly cant handle anything more rn

•angela’s pretty much losing it too, shes drinking more, way more irritable, if one of the shepards is gone, ALL of em r losing it dawg

•in the church, curlys trying to act like his normal self but u can tell that he’s damn near close to losing it cause this could mean prison or the death penalty, hes so sure hes done for and pony wants to reassure him but holy fuck it aint lookin too good, they do their normal banger but u can feel this somber tension between the two as if this is gonna b their last moments together

•curly is NOT talking about turning himself in at all, he’d rather kill someone else to NOT go actually, on top of that tims telling him to stay hidden, dallys tellin him to stay hidden, so thats how he knows hes GOTTA stay there

•NOW THE FIRE, just like dally, curly dont care that much bout those kids im ngl, but bc ponys running in there, now HE has to help, boooooo👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽

•curly aint like johnny, hes grabbing those kids and pushing them out, whatever injuries they get outta that they gonna have to deal w later, its better than them being dead id think, when the church falls, honestly??? i think my main man curly gettin outta there in time, he lowkey DID push pony out the window cause he was taking too long and then jumped out bit aye, hes livin

•its either that or he risks it and takes the longer way out if like, the wood fell where the window was

•he aint livin without some injuries and scars tho, he did definitely break SOMETHING and got some burns on his hands and wherever else, but hes relatively fine, a part of the reason y is bc he wears a leather jacket, unlike johnny who wears a jean jacket, and jean jackets r more flammable, and as seen w pony, the leather jacket did help him a bit in that fire, he still is banged up tho

[youremyheaven]

re: https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/752359733232615424/oh-godddd-i-was-so-worried-youd-react-badly-to

HIIII thank you SOOO much for your response! i read it yesterday but was super busy so i couldn't sit down to send you an ask!

i've actually never watched any content by claire nakti. (i rarely get time to watch stuff, i prefer reading.) i don't even know who she is 😅 i've only ever seen her name on the vedic astrology blogs here. why i assumed there's a dominance concept in vedic is because of the panchanga nakshatra and atmakaraka planet things when i looked up my vedic chart. plus my chart's pretty balanced (3 venus naks, 2 mars, 2 jupiter, etc. so it feels like on the surface there is truly nothing which quite stands out? (i have not yet delved into the house aspect.)

the posts you linked were so interesting to read! i noted down a bunch of my thoughts on them but it's a lot so it might be spammy agjhedfghjaj. i relate to certain parts a looooottttt.

re: "it can create conflict in romantic relationships but it also makes you a very passionate partner" — ohhhhh do i have stories to tell. i've had two partners, both of whom had mental health issues which heavily affected the relationships. one of them (intentionally or not) straight up used me for attention and affection and the other one was immensely jealous and manipulative and possessive of me. i was also terrified of confrontation and communication so i never said anything till things got too much.

i'm not sure if i have any experiences related to being a passionate lover. i would like to be, in a positive context. but i don't know if i am.

also thaaaaaanksssss <3333 self-discovery really is so fun 🥳

you're welcome bestieee<33

GIRL U HAVE A VENUS STELLIUM??,,, surely you can think of yourself as Venusian??? you dont have to but like 3+ placements of the same type does point to a dominant energy???

omg how did you get into vedic astro?? did you just stumble upon it randomly?? i feel like most people on here got into it bc of claire, thats why im asking hehe

atmakaraka and other karakas are not the same as being dominant 🧐its your soul basically

i mean 😏the right partner 😏can bring out the passion in anyone amirite hehe

[loola-a]

5 and 8 for the dark urge ask game?

hellooooo anon ty 4 the ask hehe

[these two asks ended up combining themselves into one long answer LOL i hope thats ok...]

unlike usual durge where the dark urge is. yknow. an urge. ive always imagined esther's urge is her literally hearing a voice telling her what to do. at the start she's actually very chill with it, she thinks everyone experiences this just like she thinks everyone has memory loss, so she's not super concerned.

the situation with gale and his portal is the first time after the crash that she experiences an urge she can't resist. it sort of forces her to open up about her urge to her companions which leads to her discovering that its notjust a Thing everyone has.

at this point, the only people esther's found are shadowheart and astarion, who shouldn't be trusted around impressionable kids so shart gets delegated to Unwilling Wine Aunt. bc of this esther gets attached to her super quick and after seeing her reaction to the hand situation she decides she not gonna do that anymore and she's gonna be better.

by the time she has to decide whether to save or betray the grove, her party is shadowheart, wyll and karlach so the decision to save them isn't actually very hard at all. since she knows she can't fully trust herself, she relies on them, especially wyll, to be her moral compass. she has a few slip ups over the game cuz she's only a little gal!! but for the most part she's very solidly on the resist durge path.

the most important branching moment for esther is the discovery of her past when you enter baldur's gate. through the entire game, esther has been convincing the party [and herself] that her parents are for sure 100% without a doubt waiting for her in baldur's gate. finding out that she's a bhaalspawn who technically wasn't born and therefore doesn't have parents is a really devastating moment for her :(. this, combined with karlachs reaction to her knowing gortash can either encourage esther to commit to resisting her urge or push her away and back to the cult.

within the space of maybe 3 days she's found out that no one in baldur's gate has been looking for her or waiting for her or worried about her. it's also made worse by the fact that both shadowheart and wyll's quests involve finding and saving their own parents. she decides that her companions will be her new family which means if they react badly to her pre-canon actions, she'll commit to becoming bhaal's chosen.

[mithliya]

"but i disagree with ur argument that it’s like. an accepted and normal thing. again, the majority of radblr are bisexuals, the ppl who were prejudiced against bisexuals in such a blatant way were always criticised and being called out and i know this bc i’ve been on here for years at this point and had personally called out many of those ppl who were already basically pariahs outside their own little radblr cliques."

what does it being mostly bisexuals have to do with anything? lots of bisexuals hate other bisexuals most of all. like that imdb person that said bi rape victims are just whiners trying to play 'most oppressed' if they talk about biphobia or that drpepperwoman that said bi victims of abuse shouldn't complain because she as het-partnered bi doesnt feel oppressed so the rest of us must be exaggerating or lying. And plenty of people encourage them and tell them how cool and awesome they are for "standing up" to other bisexuals. Lots of non-bisexuals encourage them.

I don't know how you can think it's not an accepted and normal thing because that is entirely different from my experience. plenty of people that were very friendly with the blackpills are still around and popular, like that like-a-ruby, tenko-irl, desisapphic, lesbian-king-kai and lots of people that reblog from them too less vocally. it's not like I now most of the names tbh only the ones I have seen repeatedly over time. Or like kronkk throwing a tantrum and saying she doesn't care about the blackpills and that they're right and she "loves mean lesbians" and then deleting all those posts when other lesbians started to react badly. or people like piqued-curiosity who say she disagrees with them but always goes out of her way to defend then and say they need compassion and healing, then passes around essays calling bi women dick worshipers and saying bi rape victims are just weaponizing abuse and she calls it insightful and smart, and that rape victims just need to learn critical thinking skills and not zero in on that because those aren't the parts that matter. No one seems to understand that we have every right to get mad at people like her that treat our abuse like an acceptable target even if they claim to disagree with it. And there's weird borderline shit like heterophobic saying she thinks most people are really bisexuals, and heterosexuals are also a sexual minority, basically saying homophobia is the fault of bisexuals because they are the majority and they enforce it. It can't just be that heterosexuals are manipulative and homophobic liars, it must be they are bisexual. Or her saying bisexuals don't experience the core of homophobia, so I guess when we're raped and abused thats some het bullshit that doesnt have to do with real homophobia. Or the lots of women that say weird shit about bi men, anything from that sports are homophobic only because of bi men, to saying bi men need to be exterminated because they hurt all other demographics. Bi women are not stupid we can see that's biphobia that will carry against us too if it was more acceptable.

and most of all maybe you don't see it because radblr is huge, it's not like just you and your followers, it's several circles with sometimes only tiny overlaps. I often dont see these lesbophobes or know who they are until you reblog them to call them out either but that doesn't mean I don't believe you that they're a problem in other circles. maybe you simply don't know the people passing bullshit around bi women all the time but that doesn't mean its not tolerated in some groups. And most of all just like lesbophobia, homophobia, and racism are still a problem I don't know why you think homophobia against bi people was magically solved. Of course its there just like all the rest.

okay after i read this message i now understand that the reason u don’t see them as a fringe group is bc you consistently read things said by both bisexual women & lesbians you disagree with in the most uncharitable and bad faith way possible bc i know some of the stuff you referenced and it wasn’t as you described it

[sxfik]

I have an idea!

Ok so we all know that Hanseo is abused by his big brother, and if i remember correctly, the jipuragi trio found out about it from the guillotine file for the first time.

Now hear me out, what if the jipuragi trio found out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, not from the guillotine file??

After failing to burn down geumga plaza, Hanseok threw that object at Hanseo, telling him not to dodge it, and it left a scar on his forehead. When Hanseo visited jipuragi, he seemed proud of that scar, right?? Because thats what he got from saving geumga plaza, and he hoped that the scar would show them that he wants to be on their side.

BUT lets forget about all those stuff for a moment.

Hanseok loves to strangle, threaten, and hit Hanseo with the hockey stick. It certainly happens more than once, so i figured that there must be a bunch of scars and bruises on his body right?? What if the jipuragi trio noticed one of his scars/bruises?? I know Hanseo always wear long-sleeved stuff, so its not exactly visible, but what if someone caught a glimpse of it??? Perhaps the scar/bruise was on his arm???

Maybe when Hanseo visits jipuragi, Vincenzo asks him to wash some coffee mugs, and as Hanseo is rolling up his sleeves...

"yo whats that on your arm??"

And maybe Hanseo is like "thats a bruise..? Do you not know what a bruise is??"

Okay, idk. I have no idea how he's gonna react if that happens. I just feel like Hanseo wouldnt be proud of his scars if he didnt get them from trying to save geumga/jipuragi people.

And now im just wondering, what do you think? How would Hanseo react, in your opinion? If the jipuragi trio really did find out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, how would that affect their relationship? Im really curious about what you think

Hhhhhhhh sorry if its too long. I just thought that this might be a good way for Hanseo and jipuragi to kinda get closer with each other...

han seo headcanons (part one)

helloooo, thank you for sending an ask in :D

SORRY this answer is super long and for some reason my phone isn't allowing me to add a keep reading cut thingy, apologies in advance to the amount scrolling you have to do

tw: abuse

i've been thinking so much about this ask and just how han-seo would react to them finding out, and honestly i never really took note of how many long sleeved shirts he wears. i believe han-seok has switched a lot more into emotional manipulation and abuse than physical abuse but he has a lot of anger issues. i'd honestly imagine him using han seo as a punching bag for any and every inconvinence that happens to him, even as an intern.

i also agree with you, han seo is someone who is a very bright personality who tends to hide his hurt and emotions, and he's very very good at it as he has been living under a psychopath his whole life. he's good at hiding his anger (although it definetly bubbles over in smaller outbursts) and especially his hurt (i.e. the scene that han seok throws that candle holder at him and he just smiles back). han seo has a lot of anger at himself for not speaking back or being able to act like himself. like in that scene in the office, you can tell as he curls his fist that he wanted to speak back so badly. even when he finally snaps against han seok, he said "i'm getting tired of being afraid of you." i feel like he'd be embarrassed that even after years, he hasn't been able to escape his abuse

next>

(you can also read the following on ao3)

i feel like this scene and their dynamic would play out something similar to this:

han seo joined the team and has been working with vincenzo and cha-young for around a month. at this point han seo isn't walking on eggshells with both of them, he's a lot more comfortable and visiting their office regularly without choi/han/han seok finding out.

sometimes it's vincenzo and cha-young providing him books to study economics from, maybe even giving some brotherly/sisterly advice to him. every couple weeks, vin and cha-young give him quizzes and slowly, he's getting better and better

over time, he even got closer to the plaza residents (even though the residents were definetly cold to him in the beginning, miri scaring the shit out of him by doing her ghost thing, the lady with the lipstick from bye bye balloon staring him down, snack bar lady refusing to serve him, larry also scaring the shit out of him by doing his zombie routine)

but despite this, they adopt him into their family, han seo doing small errands for the residents, him buying the best coffee, food and getting camera equipment for the snack bar lady's son. han seo gifting the pawnshop couple with cute baby items etc.

(obviously he buys the most expensive shit bc he's still a rich boy, but they dont have to know)

(side note: he'd be fucking adorable with a baby, imagine him being the babies "uncle han seo" who gets them the best gifts !!)

even though he was comfortable with all of them, every once in a while his facade would slip.

every once in a while, someone would make a sharp movement towards him and he'd flinch. or if someone makes a quick step towards him, he'd back up and stiffen up on instinct

even if it was someone patting his back or just making a quick movement, he'd react on instinct from the years of abuse from han seok. but no one ever said anything about it if they noticed.

one afternoon after lunch, they were washing dishes, han seo on washing duty and cha-young drying and placing them back. and han seo was in his full sleeves and cha-young notices his sleeves getting wet

"yah, roll your sleeves back, by the end of this your whole sleeve will be wet! you know how uncomfortable those sleeves would be?"

"ahaha, it's alright noona, i'll be fine"

han seo tries to laugh it off, grining at her with one of his wide grins but there's something off about this one. but cha-young gives one of her patented glares and he rolls them up carefully, shielding his arms from her view, and continues washing the rest.

cha-young doesn't take note of his bruises at first, but noted the care he went through to shield his arms from her. his arms were posed almost awkwardly and he was on high alert

it wasn't until after they both finished and he was drying his hands that cha-young saw the massive bruises he had, climbing up his forearms and under the sleeves

he stiffens when he sees her stare, and quickly tries to cover them but she grabs them before he could hide it

she's completely quiet while she stares at his arms. after a moment, he speaks up

"oh i accidentally banged these against my doorway, they're just small bruises. it's go away in a couple days" he smiles at her again but she could tell from the way his shoulders were frozen and the wavering of his voice that it wasn't the truth

"did he do these?" she asked him, her face completely neutral and her voice barely a whisper. she's still looking at his forearms, her fingers ghosting over the bruises.

han seo just looks down and the silence is enough of an answer for cha-young. he walks away, embarrassed that she found out about it, even though his years of therapy told him that it wasn't never his fault, he still felt the shame and anger of not being able to break free.

he's quiet for the rest of the time, feigning tiredness and finding an excuse to leave the plaza

that night, it was just vincenzo and her working at the office late, in preparation for babel. cha-young's mind was still on what she saw that afternoon. abruptly, she stands up, her hand gripping the pen in her hand as she turned to vincenzo sitting at the other desk.

"did you know that bastard hurt him? he's been abusing han seo this whole time?" she asked vincenzo, her voice seething with anger

"i know."

"you know??? why didn't you ever say anything?"

vincenzo looks up at her from his stack of papers, setting his pen down.

"it wasn't my place. i picked up on it when he flinched when mr. tak reached toward him to place a hand on his shoulder."

cha-young sat back down then, her lips pressed together, and vin went back to his paperwork

"we should get him out of there. who knows what han seok would do in one of his rages?"

"couple nights ago, we went to drink makgeolli and i offered him a way out. i told him if he ever needs to leave, and if he's ready to leave, he has a place at the plaza."

"and is he? leaving that is?"

"no. he thanked me, but said that he needed to stay until his brother and his group crumbles to the ground."

cha-young let out a sigh, biting her lip, the worry on her face all too evident

"hong cha-young byeonosa-nim, we shouldn't baby him. jang han seo deserves revenge against his brother just like we do and the choice is ultimately up to him."

"i know. i just worry."

they stayed quiet for the rest of the night, working late but the topic never leaves cha-young or vincenzo's minds

the next day, han seo avoided her like the plague, not wanting to talk about what she saw yesterday

but while he was studying, she approached him, a glass of juice and a snack in hand, setting it next to him. she checked over his work quietly as he took a break and glanced at his arms, doing a once over just to make sure he didn't get any new ones.

"well done, han seo, you're doing well" she smiled at him and ruffled his hair and han seo let out a breath of relief and gratefulness that she hadn't treated him any different

from then, cha-young and vin only got fonder of han seo and han seo was pretty much adopted by them. after the battle and han seok is in jail permanently, he moves out of his apartment, and gets one closer to the plaza.

mr. nam would show him how the organization worked at jipuragi and put him to work, the paralegal grateful to have an extra hand around the office

eventually, even han seo grows an affection to the instant coffee and buys more for himself and his apartment

vin would take him shopping for suits, both rich boys obsessed with their sleek looks. they take cha-young with them once but she manages to sleep off at every shop they go to.

vincenzo also plays hockey with him regularly and the plaza invites him to plaza game nights. they get up to all kinds of mischief,

han seo loves spicy food, just like cha-young so they make it their mission to go to try every restaurant and compete to see just how much spice they can handle. obviously vincenzo doesn't even make it past the first round of the spice competitions but cha-young and han seo have the same competitive streak that keeps them going

han seo is also dropping hints to both of cha-young and vincenzo that they should get married. constantly teasing vincenzo about cha-young in the way only younger brothers do

obviously on one of cha-young and han seo’s days out, han seo drops hints CONSTANTLY, trying to get her to admit cha young likes vincenzo

and OBVIOUSLY she slips up, and han seo doesn’t let go of it

he does the whole younger brother teasing every single time he catches cha-young glancing at vincenzo at the firm

“cha-young noona and vin hyung, sitting in a tree. K I S S I N—” “HAN SEO!!!”

obviously chayenzo eventually get together but decide to keep it a secret (and of course, they were awful at it)

eventually when they reveal it to the office, mr. nam and han seo react like that one scene in suspicious partner (“quick, act surprised” “*gasp* you guys are together??????? we had no idea!!”)

han seo is basically adopted as a younger brother to both cha-young and vincenzo and even the plaza loves his presence and he gets to have a peaceful existence for the rest of his life

anyways han seo deserves a happy ending with a good family. he deserves a second chance with a family that LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM AND GIVES HIM CHOICES AND ALLOWS HIM TO BE HIMSELF. (and yes this covered more than just one scene but I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS ON HIM) as always feel free to add on :D

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[yaboyspodcastpalace]

Don't apologize for most of it being TMA lol That's what you're into, and I'm really glad you enjoy it :D

Also, this the title Apiculture (and more things you can do when your friend is a living honeycomb) sounds so funny I gotta know more about it! lol

gsdfjhsdfjsdf that fic is actually the one i was talking about in this post yesterday! the story behind it IS pretty funny

at the time i didnt particularly ship the two characters (martin and sasha) besides tangentially polyam scenarios, but one day i have A Dream of them, where 1. martin was a corruption avatar, bees themed, 2. sasha did apiculture on him to keep his deal a secret and 3. they kiss at the end u_u ♥ and bc of the bees sasha survives what happens to her at the end of season 1 ;_; ;o; and after that i was SO CONFUSED to why i dreamed that i spend every waking hour for a couple days thinking about themes and their characterization and how to make it work, and thus a ship was born <3

(the fic itself is more dramatic though, the name ended up being pretty damn misleading dfgdfg cant help a good funny name ;o;)

[WIP Challenge! ask me about my wips :} ]

anyway the meat of the story on the other hand is partly a coworkers to friends to lovers as sasha accidentally discovers this secret and, knowing her friends (tim and jon) would react BADLY to it due to past trauma and guilt she decides to keep the secret for everybody's sake, helping him go unnoticed (hence apiculture) while privately trying to make sense of the supernatural pieces that keep falling on the table (the statements they research, the different characters they've meet across season 1), WHICH VEERS INTO a side by side comparison of martin's physical changes w/ yknow a hive growing inside of him and sasha's growing fascination despite herself, aligning more and more with the beholding 👁👁👁 which both things, as previously stated, accidentally veer into someone dying (but shhhh its fine its all fine she seeks this weird spirally monster man thats kinda fond of her for answers and he ends up taking care of the body before martin wakes up from his post-accidental-not-quite-accidental murder depression nap but thats another story lmfao)

a huge part of this is that they're both trying really hard to protect the other and also the otherS, sasha by withholding information, seeking answers to the point of making deals w/ shady characters and martin (and by extension an ever growing swarm) by... well *points to corpse, among other creatures*

...the ending is very bittersweet but sasha is alive and thats literally all that matters to me <3 </3

(lil conversation from there, abt whether the honey itself is edible or not) (which boy will it have repercussions later)

"What else I could do? I highly doubt they're fit for human consumption."

"Have you've tried?"

"Of course not." Martin frowned, and she sighed. "Martin, you know I don't like this more than you, but... there's a big possibility this honey could... I don't know, do something to a normal human like me. I'm not taking chances."

He started dressing himself in silence, and she took a long look at him, to make sure nothing was pouring down where it shouldn't. Finally he hummed, unconvinced.

"Guess that makes sense."

"Have you've tried it?" She asked instead, a light smile on her lips.

"The honey?"

"Yes."

"Well, I..." He laughed that nervous laugh he did sometimes. "It's kind of hard Not to, you know? I mean... it's there and I don't really have a lot of napkins. I don't like getting..." He shivered a bit "...sticky all over."

She hummed in agreement, not imagining how... annoying, among other things, would be having honey dripping down your body from time to time. Sticking out her tongue she couldn't help but ask.

"And?"

"And what?"

"How did it taste?"

"Oh, well, um." He shrugged, a bit flushed. "It tastes... good. Sweet. I'ts, it's honey."

"Wish I could try it." She mused, carefully dragging with her thumb a thick orange tear that started falling down Martin's eye, before putting it down in the pot after a second of consideration. "But better safe that sorry, I guess."

"I guess..." Martin kept on pondering as she got up, offering him some pieces of toast that he ate with some of the honey from the pots. Neither of them commented on the fact that they just took all that honey from inside of him, the bizarre redundancy of him eating something that came from him. Sasha wondered as he ate his toast if it would be considered some sort of cannibalism, dismissing it immediately, thought being replaced by a cow drinking its own milk. Although that analogy had its flaws as well, seeing how he wasn't the bee but the beehive, and- "But we don't know, do we?"

It took her a couple of seconds to gather her severed thoughts.

"What?"

[elfdyke]

details about the harlivy adopting jason au?????

OK OK <3 absolutely will elaborate on this

UNDER THE CUT THOUGH BC WOW I CAN TALK. A LOT

basically harley has left the joker maaaaybe a little under a month around when this happens? and after she leaves he ramps up his violence and abhorrent acts n shit. so he ends up kidnapping jason and torturing him until he ends up killing him with the crowbar before he ends up having to dump his body somewhere so he can escape from batman.

harley n ivy essentially stumble upon his body , and hes VERY freshly dead like. very. but also very fucked up. and harley pleeeeads with ivy to bring him back home and save him 😭 and ivy is super not interested in the slightest but she ends up caving because of course she does, she cant bring herself to say no to harley 98% of the time dfkgndf

so ivy has to like. go full in on ‘healing’ him but she uses the green to revive him essentially! so now hes kind of in ivys shoes where hes got this connection to the green thats overwhelming and confusing, and its nowhere near the same level as hers, but it causes one of his eyes to be green, and also i feeel like he would be a lot more connected to nature bc of it? like i dont think he can control plants, but he becomes rly good with botony without realizing it, and plants thrive around him if hes doing well vs struggle around him if hes doing badly, like ivy but to a much smaller extent

jason ends up leaning toward spending more time with ivy bc he starts hanging around her greenhouse, and she starts teaching him things about botony, and he does genuinely start taking interest!! and its so healing for him! he never really has had a break in his life yknow? going from the streets to being robin, it was all action action action, so this break is really life changing for him

and jason spending most of his time in the greenhouse with ivy makes harely really jealous. i will not lie dkfjgdf. it was HER idea to bring the kid back. shes the one who brings him fun clothes and always tries to play video games n shit with him.. it never rly gets to like. she wants to start a full on argument about it bc ivy handles her moods rly well but it absolutely gets under her skin dfkjgndfk

SO LIKE........ the dynamic. is both funny. and very sad dkjfgdkf harley is like. beside herself with excitement to be a Mom now, ivy is very Not happy to have another Human in the house much less a man kdfjgkdfjgn, so they butt heads a lot over it. ntm jason absolutely does NOT want to be there, but he literally canot leave because hes way too fucked up from Dying. so he just sits in the harlivy house wearing the stupidest tshirts she stole for him and stewing in his rage and hatred for everything dkfjgndf

ALSO. for most of this situation. neither of them actually realizes that he was killed By joker. because he wont say what happened. and i dont feel like. they would make the connections i GUESS? idk <3 i think its more fun if they have no idea what his deal is. especially if he knows who they are, and very much doesnt like them because of it, but grows to start really caring about them and admiring them, just like how batman really does care about and respect both harley and ivy

but . i do think that he would eventually let them know what happened to him. once he finally feels safe around them and has recovered more. n i think he would cry a lot and feel awful n scared n bad, and ivys trying her best to comfort him but harley is like oh it is time to dissociate, oh it is time to make inappropriate jokes about our shared trauma. oh i am doing so badly. I JUST. do not think she would handle it well at all because she absolutely blames herself , knows this could have happened to her, feels like it Should have been her and not him. its just. really bad for her. 

I HAVENT RLY THOUGHT ABOUT. how things resolve. maybe jason ends up running away from them and becoming red hood after harley reacts so poorly ? idk <3 i am just existing. but i love the concept a lot and have many thoughts and feelings 

sorry if this is all over the place i tried to keep it as cohesive as possible dkfjgndf if u have any other questions tho pls lmk!!

[alcoress]

the domain is the same every time which kinda sucks bc there isn't variety but it does mean you know what to expect. the pyro cube excites me a lot since I have a lot of Cryo characters so beating it shouldn't be too bad. I also have Childe so a hydro bow user is always helpful for that too

decent damage kinda depends on world lvls. by the time you hit like ar 48+ or somewhere along the lines of there, you want to be doing at least 800 - 1000+ dmg with your attacks.

the lore is so exciting bc is just adds so much to the world. I'm can't wait for the next Archon quests bc of the lore behind Inazuma.

honestly, those videos kinda inspired me in a way to try joining random worlds. seeing how lower lvl players react to the help makes me really giddy and such and I wanted to pay it forward in a way since higher players helped me out before too. ooh yup yup. dms are fine :)

having a full team can be good for more reactions but you can achieve 9 stars with just 5-6 characters just as well. abyss 12 chamber 1 for both halves has those medium sized geovishaps so not the small roly-poly ones. it's good to have a freeze team for them size well, stopping an enemy's movement is always nice. I might try again today but that floor is just pain in general.

ah yes Kazuha and Bennett are really good together since Kazuha's ult does this thing called snapshotting so basically, if you plop down Bennett's ult first and then do Kazuha's ult, even if Bennett's ult was to fade and end, Kazuha's ult would still have the buff from it. hope my explaining made sense of that.

yeah it is nice at least knowing ur not gonna get hit w something ur not expecting,, i have mostly pyro bc my main team is a pyro resonance team so,, for current pyro enemies im basically comboing w fischl, kaeya, and barbara which actually isn’t too bad for the pyro regisvine at a melee distance (bc im bad at dodging and its melee attacks are easier to dodge ajsjs)

i am saving up my wishes for the potential ganyu re-run tho bc!! i want cryo and i want aoe ajsjs im tempted to pull for ayaka but i got kazuha so recently that im not into pity at all so :/ i will accumulate more wishes and wait for ganyu (who is rumored to be coming back in the fall so!!)

oooh ok ok!! duly noted :0

ikr!! im so excited for the lore surrounding the vision hunt decree, baal, etc. like? what threatened her and made her so protective of preserving herself/her land and people :0 and why does hunting visions help that :0 the lore in zhongli’s quest made me so sad? like,, i don’t know i just,, i want to be his friend he seems lonely and :( <333

tHATS SO CUTE <33 i literally have no reaction other than that like that is just, so wholesome and kind and :( <33

ok calling them roly-poly ones is v funny and cute and i will be stealing that ajssj waAAH ive wanted to run a freeze team!! i have C2 Rosaria (from kazuha’s banner akssjsj) so i will prob raise her to run her on a team with Barbara (my only hydro ayy)? i have ningguang too and she is <3 ugh i wanna main her so badly but i don’t have enough resources to build her rn ;-; exp books wHYY

oooh i didn’t know abt snapshotting!! but yes i kind of assumed it would work like that but :0 woah that’s so cool that there’s actual terms for it!! and also maybe i shouldn’t assume all of the abilities/ults work that way rip rip

[grizztheexplorer]

Ep 10!!!!! Love Victor live reaction:

-finally!!!! Never thought i would be rooting for the dad but here i am. I hateeee he doesn’t trust Isabel nor that he wants to tell her to not do things. But i ain’t with Isabel equating what she did to him beating up Roger. Girl fuck Roger.

- I don’t need to watch further to KNOW someone heard Benji talk to Victor in the bathroom and I bet my ass it was Andrew bc drama

- I KNEW TAKE THIS HOMOPHOBIC ASS OUT OF HERE

-“whatever happens between us” are they gonna separate??? I thought before i started the show i saw a spoiler of divorce (hadn’t read why or anything) but i feel like if the separate for a while they could actually find their way back to each other??? I hope they try living apart and all for a while bc i do wanna root for them. Also i reallyyyyyy fucking hope she doesn’t get with Roger again s2. Like i said, FUCK that guy.

-okay is still fuck Andrew hours but AT LEAST him not even thinking of outing Victor gets him out my blacklist.

- TOO GOOD A GUY TO WALK AWAY FROM IM JUST GONNA GO CHOKE IM STRESSED

-LISTEN IK MIA IS STILL AN ISSUE HERE BUT VICTOR HAS BEEN SO REPRESSED AND SAD AND BENJI HAS HAD TO DEAL WITH DEREK BC THATS THE GAY GUY HE GOT AND LIKE G O D DEREK IS SUCH AN ASS DID U SEE BENJI’S FACE WHEN VICTOR WAS LISTING GOOD THINGS?? THEY BOTH DESERVE A CHANCE AT HAPPINESS IM CRYING

-also uh don’t think I didn’t hear Derek say “i feel weird at a high school dance” sir Benji ain’t a senior he’s a sophomore. Is Derek out of high school?? A college kid dating a sophomore in HS is🤢🤢AND he treats him badly??? Jail

-im crying🥺🥺🥺listening to Benji and Victor talk has also lowkey made me realize like even if they haven’t interacted as much Victor has allowed himself to be jusy a teen with Benji even if they have talked about heavy stuff. With Mia unknowingly he did the same with his parents. Showed her the version of him she wanted to see bc of guilt, fear, and in order to make her feel better. Victor has only been him with Benji (and with Felix) and wow. Didn’t notice until their talk and me starting to think back on the show. Perfect writing.

- is heartbreaking how Mia found out. I’m wondering if maybe she’ll be hurt but understand??? She’s a 15-16 year old smart girl. At that age i def saw cases like this and it always ends with the straight partners supporting the gay ones. Hell, a case EXACTLY like this happened my freshman year of HS. These really popular girl started dating this new kid and she was obsessed with him lowkey?? They broke up bc he came out and she was the most supportive. I understand she’s hurt bc he cheated, but i hope she listens to him and tries to understand like how hard it is for queer kids and how confused he was? Is heartbreaking bc he truly cares for her and im sure right she thinks he doesn’t and just used her. But i hope she’s willing to listen. As a queer person, I honestly understand all the shit Victor has done. Is not the best way to do it. But I don’t feel angry at him. I get it.

- ugh the song for that kiss was perfect tho🥺🥺

-omg I totally thought him talking to Mia would be a cliffhanger are they gonna have a confrontation now??? She’s still so raw😭😭 i want them to be besties noooo

-LAKE OMG GO OFF. Poor Wendy tho she was hyping herself up to ask Felix🥺

-THAT WAS SO CUTE FELIX AND LAKE ARE AT THE TOP OF THEIR GAME BC 🥺❤️

-lowkey Andrew didn’t try to intervene and instead got with Mia to take the opportunity but also im 1000% not surprised of the straight person not wanting to hear his side and instead taking the girl where they can be alone together 💀💀may I say though with their history i do not think Andrew and Mia should be alone together. She has feelings for him yes, but she already regrets having sex with him bc she was feeling vulnerable. He didn’t know it the first time but this time he know how she felt and how she is feeling now. So this time it is kinda taking advantage if he ends up having sex with her.

-Pilar girl i get it but also the queer romance life of ur brother is literally.... none of ur business and does NOT affect u the way ur parents’ relationships affect u. So please kindly stfu.

-thank Pilar hugged him back

-hell yeah Andrew said no. U still out the blacklist buddy good for u

-SIMON SAYING YOU’LL ALWAYS HAVE ME IS THE TIP THATS MAKING ME CRY AGAIN BC YES THAT GAY COLLEGE SQUAD IS ALWAYS THERE FOR U AND I HOPE WE SEE IT AGAIN S2

- :)))))))) that ending :))))))))

S2 thoughts:

- okay well a lot of truth bombs. I truly think separating was the right choice to get them back together in a healthy manner. That is if they don’t date other people. Roger will most likely make a comeback. She will most likely date him. Maybe she’ll realize what a shit bag he is when he does/says something dumb and realize Armando is it for her??? I hope at least i do wanna root for them

- im so proud of Victor🥺🥺 he told everything to Benji, and came to out Felix + his family. Ik things will be hard with Mia at first, and Andrew is still no saint so he might be a dick to him on the team once he is out (or might defend him) but at least they know too. I saw the writers saying s2 will be now about Benji and Victor learning to be in a relationship and Victor’s environment changing. Benji and him will def struggle in the department that Victor is still learning how to openly be himself and let himself be seen versus Benji already having dealt with that before. So it will prob be hard for Benji too. It’s exciting tho and i hope despite everything s2 is kind to them.

- backetball will be hard for Victor without a doubt. I really hope Bram and Simon come for holidays or something and we get to see them again. Maybe even meet Benji or Felix too that would be so🥺🥺🥺

- can’t tell how the parents will react. Ik he won’t be kicked out and certain things will he hard bc s2 is gonna be about them working it out for sure, but I can’t tell if at first they’ll go in complete denial or will just quietly ignore it or fully pretend to be supportive while they aren’t. I hope s2 shows us the end of that scene and how the reactions went and not just a time jump. We will most likely start with a time jump but i hope the first ep of s2 shows us the reaction through a flashback.

Overall: amazing actors. Really good writing. These were realistic characters who make dumb realistic choices and are heartfelt and down to earth. All the actors are amazing and bring so much to the table. The writing is great dropping small hints for things to come without it being screamed at your face so you aren’t surprised 100% by certain choices but also not completely expected. And it’s honest about teens’ journeys at that age with appropriate age actors (except for Andrew I haven’t looked at his age but motherfucker looks older then ME lmao). I can’t WAIT for s2 and again, leaving it to existence so it happens: LET SIMON AND BRAM HAVE A LIL EP WITH VICTOR AGAIN IN S2!!!!!!

[cinnaminsvga]

In the past I've asked for how your characters would react to their counterparts across your smaus. It's time for the new version: Who would win in a fight if you put your characters against their smau counterparts (so all Y/Ns against each other, all Yoongis against each other and so on)??? You can choose to include/exclude whoever you want and take as long as you want in replying or even choose not to lol

HAJDHAJSD THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER IM SORRY but i do get super excited whenever you send me one of these, so i wanna get this right!! i think i’m only gonna include the last three smaus (tddup, 300mdh, lib) bc i dont think i could even handle imagining what it would be like to have six seokjins... that’s some forbidden knowledge right there 😳

seokjin - jfc where do i even begin... for all my old followers, yall know that i just love writing seokjin as unhinged and chaotic as possible so you can only guess how terrible it would be if three of him were to fight. ok tbh 300mdh!jin would definitely win bc?? hes a fucking spy?? but i could somehow see tddup!jin finding a way to fight back,,, idk he could probs trick zeus!kook to help him by promising him some miku merch or smth,, LMAO and lib!jin is just there,,, smartly avoiding the conflict and streaming it on twitch or smth

yoongi - oh my boy,,, tddup!yoongi is absolutely frying lib!yoongi’s ass for not confessing his feelings HDKWJDKWK as hades, he’s probs gone thru his own fair share of heartbreaks (haha OOP spoiler alert for a prequel series maybe??) and he’d honestly be so so sad for lib!yoongi but also just frustrated?? he’d be frustrated with 300mdh!yoongi too tbh bc that dude has repressed feelings for mr kim seokjin that he still hasnt figured out yet,,, tldr yoongi smites the other two yoongis but then comforts them afterwards inside his cavernous ass ❤️

hoseok - sorry but 300mdh!seok is winning no cap,,, tho OKAY i havent revealed yet why, but he’s actually a pretty harmless guy,,, (ignoring the fact that hes a double spy and HAS killed people in the past... uhhh) but yea he’d just pretend to be a really nice guy and get along well with the other two hoseoks,,, tddup!seok is an idiot and probs wouldnt even notice anything off about him, but lib!seok might have a gut feeling that somethings wrong,,, this is actually a really strange trio and idk how it would turn out exactly,,, definitely some sus things going on,,, lol

namjoon - well, tddup!joon is currently a turtle so you bet your ass that lib!joon is keeping him as a pet LMAOOOO my dude would unknowingly keep tddup!joon until he somehow magically returns to being a human. 300mdh!joon is a bit harder to pin down, since it all depends on whether he’s drunk or not LMAO bc if he was drunk, you’d bet your ass that he’d be a fucking dramatic/emotional mess and would wax poetic about turtle joon and lib!joon would have to comfort him. if he was sober, he’d just be a “regular” guy, or however regular a spy can be. overall, they’d hang out altogether just fine,,, like a couple of nerds,,,

jimin - well, you all know how tddup!jimin is like and that bitch is hornier than all my smau jimins combined. he’s so ferally horny that lib!jimin would probs shit himself, though i’d imagine 300mdh!jimin could maybe handle him a little better.... somewhat. they might even get along after a while, though i have a standing theory that all my smau!jimins hate each other no matter what, like that popular clique of girls you have in high school. they all pretend to be friend with each other, but they would not hesitate to stab a bitch if and when provoked. fun times!

taehyung - in contrast with jimin, i feel like all my taehyungs would have a good time together, no matter what au (okay, maybe except for looh!tae but thats a whole different story lmao). i think tddup!tae would get along super well with 300mdh!tae, mostly bc theyre both incredibly chaotic and have a kinda “go with the flow as long as we’re having fun” vibe. lib!tae is just maybe a little more “calm” than them, but he’s always down to clown. tddup!tae would probs bonk lib!tae on the head tho once he finds out about what he did to lib!oc, but other than that... i think they’d all be good buddies. 

jungkook - oh boy where do i even start... i feel like tddup!kook, despite how absolutely stupid he is, he’s still... somewhat morally sound?? i guess?? like he loves his wife a lot (#1 oc simp lets get it) so he’d probs be so angry and frustrated with what lib!kook did. might even hit him with a lightning bolt if we’re being honest. 300mdh!kook would agree and beat the shit out of lib!kook, and then he’d bond with zeus!kook over weeb shit and they’d become the best bros ever. but then zeus!kook will say some,,, weird kinky shit and break the mood so then 300mdh!kook + tddup!oc will have to tie him up so he never speaks again,,, they’d certainly be a very wild trio,,, maybe even worse than the seokjins and that’s saying something!!

oc - OHHH MY GOD like fr but tddup!oc is gonna baby lib!oc so much you have no idea ;-; she’ll see how badly her heart got broken by her version of jungkook and probs offer to kill lib!kook, but sweet lib!oc would protect him even after all she’s been thru,,, i see tddup!oc as being a great older sister figure for lib!oc and tbh i stan!! and uhh... we all know how 300mdh!oc is... she’s also an older sister figure, but demented and insane. okay, so she’s maybe more like your crazy aunt that smokes too much crack but you know what? you cant hate her so shes just kinda there and sometimes she’ll say something super profound and is genuinely a loving person (deep deep down... like you have dig deep lol) but otherwise yea!! all the love for my ocs,,, they’re my babies and i love them so so much :-((((

[usertoxicyaoi]

First of all I completely disagree with everything you guys have been saying about Sarawat. Nobody is at fault but the issue here is Tine's insecurities. Pam's text was a hello so how could Sarawat have been lying and texting her? Also Tine was the one imaging scenarios in his head while browsing through Pam's ig, something he didn't need to do. Also Sarawat can't force Tine to talk, he asked him several times to tell him what's wrong and he refused to. Wat also stayed up all night which is /1

how he knew that Tine stayed up listening to music but like I said Tine didn't want to talk so what exactly do you guys expect him to do? Even the next day Tine STILL didn't want to talk and it was only till Sarawat abandoned band practice to take care of Tine and asked him again what was wrong which is when Tine told him how he felt about Pam. Wat explained the situation to Tine even pointing out he doesn't see Tine and Pam as similar to each other and his little joke at the end was just to /2

lighten the mood and make Tine feel better, which he did, not to dismiss his feelings. As for the song, it's probably the same as the video Tine thinking it's one thing and it being another. I don't understand how if Sarawat doesn't completely deal with Tine's insecurities, he's his boyfriend not his therapist, and Tine assumes stuff then that means Sarawat is an evil demon who has wronged Tine in the worst way. No one is wrong here people just need to talk. /3

hiii anon!!! wow okay. urm. so.

firstly, i’m sorry. i hold my hands up and i wanna apologise not just to you, but anybody else who i may have offended yesterday by saying how disappointed i was with sarawat in ep 12 and how he felt written really badly for me to the point where it irked me bc it felt like glimpses of novel! wat were peaking thru him in ep 12. but i’ve slept on it, and i’ve calmed down now. but yeah, i am still really sorry for what i said. 

and its fine that you disagree and its absolutely okay for you to do so. you saw wat in a very different way than i did. thus, my interpretation was a total 180 from yours. 

that being said, its ..... a sensitive issue. tine’s insecurities are a sensitive issue. yes, sarawat isn’t his therapist or counsellor. he is his boyfriend. and i feel like, if i were in that position, it would worry me if my s/o kept on hiding things from me, only for me to constantly find yet another ambiguous thing, and when i ask them for an explanation, they panic and freeze and just ... evade. especially if that happens not just once, but again and again. then, do you really blame tine for overthinking things? lets leave his insecurities out for a second, lets say he wasn’t insecure. even then, would you really blame him for being in the wrong if he overthought? 

now here’s where tine has been a bit more quicker to react, in that he eventually, within that same ep, plucks up the courage to ask wat directly. and within that same ep or directly onto the next one, things get resolved and wat explains himself. so they do communicate. 

but this time, its not just a simple issue. its not just a video, or a song. its a person. a first love. a past thats come to the present of which tine had very little idea on. handling that is a very different issue than to handling a video or a song being hidden from you. and what heightens it for him is that wat referred to her as his “first love”. not even a crush, but a “first love”. and pam says to him “she loves him back”. now obviously, we know that wat doesn’t love her. a ‘first’ love doesn’t mean the ‘only’ love. but couple that with tine’s already failed dating history, where his s/o has left him everytime, due to which he now feels he isn’t worth it, along with the fact that pam is quite literally a reflection of him in many ways, yet different from him too. what else is tine supposed to feel other than “second best yet again”. 

now, like you said. the issue here is tine’s insecurities. you’re right - it is! bc this whole show is from tine’s perspective, so of course, all the issues and faults relate back to him and his way of perceiving and reading things. he either reads too much into it or doesn’t at all. its what insecurities do - they mess up and warp your perception into 2 very radical and polar opposite ends, one thats too intense and deep and one that is hollow and vacant. 

now, i’m gonna say what i said yesterday. though this is sarawat’s first relationship, from what we know and can see, wat LOOKS and APPEARS to be the more secure one in the relationship from the two, partly bc he has had that year to stew over his feelings for tine, and this was when he didn’t even know if he’d see tine again. and now that he’s with tine, its more or less everything he’s ever wanted, given to him. but tine’s not had that time. all he’s had is failed relationship after failed relationship. but also, just bc sarawat has now, in tine, what he has always wanted, doesn’t mean its plain sailing. sarawat didn’t know tine came with such a huge amount of emotional baggage with him. 

and yes sarawat has tried. he tried again and again yesterday to reach out. and i commend him for it. but now is the real crucial time for sarawat to learn who tine is, and help him unload that emotional baggage - not do it for him, but help him. not as a therapist or counsellor, but as his significant other. 

and in doing that, he can’t make light of the situation. which, ya know, you found it as him tryna cheer tine up, but i didn’t. i found it rude and inappropriate. and thats okay. you have your view, i have mine. what also needed to happen here was, not sarawat saying that “he claims tine and that tine belongs to him”. no. go back to ep 11, where sarawat said to tine “i’d like to be with you for longer than 10 years”. something like that was what tine needed to hear then. something that mentioned stability and longevity, something he hasn’t had before ever in a relationship, not possessiveness. but of course, that’s just me being very nit picky so ... feel free to ignore that.

and the thing is, ya know what. in all of this. tine is gonna beat himself up more than anything and anyone else. he won’t even lash out that badly at sarawat, more so than he will beat his own self up for it. for being “dumb and silly and stupid and not enough and just a shadow and a failure”. he’s done it before, he will do it again. he won’t even feel the need to see sarawat as a demon. he loves him too much for that. and thats also another problem. 

he sees sarawat as this entirely perfect person. i dont wanna say that he puts him on a pedestal, but bc other people do, it doesn’t help in his perception of seeing sarawat as being this too good of a person thats somehow ended up falling in love and being with him. that’s tine lack of self esteem speaking. and thats something they’re both gonna have to talk about. 

these things arent just gonna go away. they’ll lie dormant, then flare up, then lie dormant again. what they can do though, like you mentioned, is talk. not as therapist-patient, but as 2 people, as equals, in a relationship. tine is gonna have to learn to open up and trust wat and change his perception and see that wat is human and that he isn’t perfect and that he is just as much of an equal part to this whole relationship, and wat’s gonna have to learn to not keep things secretive from tine and make tine see that he in fact is human and not perfect and just be more empathetic towards tine’s insecurities and low self esteem.

but thats easier said than done.

[many-gay-magpies]

Smh i should really stop talking to my mom about anxiety/mental stuff because every time it only makes me feel worse

I love my mom a lot but like . sometimes there are just things that get on my nerves even though i love her. I kinda feel bad because like she tries so hard to understand and says she understands and I know she DOES to a degree so I feel bad for lowkey thinking like the whiny teenager all like "yOu DoN't UnDeRsTaNd Me" sometimes, y'know? Like the bottom line is our brains just work really really differently a lot of the time and she either wants to believe or genuinely believes that they dont

Every time I talk to her about my (non-clinical, probably) anxiety and what caused it (this girl bullying me for six years) she goes on to mention all the ways she was bullied as a kid and all the terrible shit she's gone through to say in the end "so I understand" when like all of that shit is way different from my experience so every time she says it inside I'm just like "yes but actually no"

Like, today i was talking about my bully to her and how I've started realizing that all my responses now are responses i was forced to give as a kid because of the situation i was in with my bully, and she went in depth and told me (all stuff she had already told me about before and also when i had been talking about my anxiety stuffs before) about how her mom forced her to sleep in curlers so she would have banana curls and made her wear dresses and how she got mugged really bad when she was older and all this stuff that is very valid trauma and sucks ass and i thank her for trying to understand me but at the same time all the shit that happened to her was surface level. Neither of us could control what was happening to us, because her mom made her dress like that and I couldn't just make this girl suddenly not have issues, but like a dress is still something you can change??? Take off??? Like it isnt attatched to you as a person. I cant change the fact that i exist, which this girl bullying me apparently hated me for. To her my existence was just like "oh i must hurt this person" not because of what i wore, what i looked like, etc etc.

She also kept subtly bringing up the fact that i had never been PHYSICALLY hurt by my bully and implying that because she HAD her pain was worse and i could have had it worse if my bully physically hurt me and ACTED on the threats to hurt me (which my mom's bullies did) and while yes that was true . My bully didn't threaten to physically hurt me at all so there were no threats TO act on she just talked to me like i was shit all the time and beat my self esteem about my personality into a meaningless pulp . I kind of wanted to scream in my moms face "YOUR PAIN WAS MOSTLY PHYSICAL WHILE MINE WAS EMOTIONAL, BOTH ARE VALID AND DIFFERENT" but i know she does know that-- but maybe it would have gotten the point across idk

I wish so badly that i could just tell my mom "I dont want/need you to understand, i just need you to be here" and like i could but . I'm not there yet

(Warning ahead, I'm sorry if this gets really long but like I wanna get it off my chest before i go to sleep bcs i feel like ill sleep better if i do)

Another thing that annoys me is that??? Every time??? I say something??? Or tell her how I'm feeling at the moment??? She just asks me??? "Why?"??? And yes its good to talk about stuff but I'm trying to explain to you in a polite way why i want to leave the conversation and that its making me uncomfortable and i just want to go to bed and you just go "but why are you uncomfortable?" Or like if i tell her I'm upset and i want to stop talking about it she goes "why are you upset? I dont want you to be upset" and I'm just. I literally just said i dont want to talk about this anymore can i please leave you cant control that I'm upset about this because continuing talking to you is just going to make me more upset because no matter what way i try to explain it i cant get my points across right to you and i dont want to say you dont understand bcs thats immature but you kind of dont understand

I want to tell her "This conversation isnt having the outcome i wanted it to have and i want to leave it before it makes me more upset so that i can go think on it for later" but I'm sure if i do. that shed just go "but WHY arent you happy with the conversation tell me so i can fix it" and if i tell her blatantly what is making me unhappy (the fact that she keeps saying she understands and pouring stories of her traumas onto me to "prove" that she understands) then she's going to guilt trip me when were talking in the future by emphasizing the fact that i dont like when she talks a certain way and be all like "oh i wont tell you about my OWN experiences though because you said you don't LIKE when I DO that" and i just hhhhhh

Like every time i tell her she doesnt understand and try to explain it in a way that she WILL and it'll finally click it just. Doesn't and it makes me feel so defeated because every time i do that she just circles back around to "well i experienced all these types of trauma so i totally understand" and i appreciate the effort but that just isnt the kind of support i needed to make me feel content

And also when i was talking to her tonight i told her about a specific instance that happened in like 1rst or 4th grade where I was crying because the girl bullying me was just in one of those. Bad Moods™ where like she hated me for existing and talked to me like i was a piece of trash she had stepped in or smth and then she and a couple other kids asked me WHY I WAS CRYING and I didn't want to tell her "hey I'm crying because you keep hurting me and i dont want you to" because if i said that she would just hurt me MORE so i made up a lie on the spot and said that my parents had a small argument (I'm a sensitive kid and will cry at the barest hint of conflict between my parents so it checked out) and i was crying because of it and . Out of that ENTIRE STORY the one thing my mom zeroed in on was the fact that i told a lie that "painted my parents in a bad light"

Just. Like. Yeah. It did. But I wasn't even thinking about that at the moment?? Like it didn't even cross my mind??? The only thing i was thinking about was that i was scared and in danger and i probably would have said anything to get OUT of that danger (as fake or ill-perceived it might have been). But no, even later on after i had explained that in basically those exact words she still went back around to say "oh if it was bad enough that you told a lie about your parents to get out of it then she REALLY fucked you up"

Which??? By the way??? Is a whole other reason why i try not to talk to my mom about this shit??? Because every time i open up about it and want to have a conversation in a more logical/organized/"well here's the situation and here's what we can do about it" kind of way she always turns it around and says stuff like "damn [REDACTED] really fucked you up didn't she" and "I didn't know it was that bad"/"I didn't know it effected you that bad, you should have said something!" which. Makes me Feel Bad™, for some reason way more than my dad excitedly talking about reptile and monkey brains and how stuff that happened to us in the past is engrained into our brain and still effects us now, like instinct

She also always turns all of my stuff talking about emotions into "oh you're just a teenager" "you're pms'ing" "you'll grow out of it later"

Like one time i told her that her mind was always in the past or the future, always worrying about the past or the future, never in the present, in response to her worrying a bunch about something and how i had my mind in the present more often and her response was something along the lines of "well you're like that because you're young and a teenager, you CAN stay thinking in the present because you dont have all that stuff to worry about like an adult does, I'm an adult and i work a bunch so i constantly have stuff to worry about" and like. Yeah theres some solidity to that. But also i literally talked about that exact thing with my dad and HE said her brain was always in the past/future and never the present so I'm pretty sure its not just a teen vs adult thing

And then towards the end of this whole thing when i had finally managed to tell her "hey I'm uncomfortable in this conversation can i please leave and go to bed" and even further explained that it was because i went into this wanting to have a more casual/logic-based talk rather than an emotional discussion and . she's kind of of the mind that "why did you bring it up if you didn't want to have a deep emotional discussion about it" and I'm just HHHNNNNGGGG but also i actually DIDNT mention it, first i was mentioning how id been having sensory overload lately and how certain sounds of words hurt and then she said i should have a doctor check that out and then i said "I've been reading up on anxiety and sensory overload is a part of that so i figured that's just what it was" (bcs my dad gets sensory overload a lot too) which then ensued a ten-minute conversation about how i probably dont have clinical anxiety because mine isnt as bad as/like all the many, many people my mom has known who DO have it (throughout which i kept trying to tell her "just social anxiety exists too tho" to which she would respond "yea but u dont have these symptoms of general anxiety so i dont think u have it" and while i hope and think i dont i was just like HHHHHHH because i mean social anxiety and by social anxiety I DO NOT MEAN GENERAL ANXIETY YOU CAN HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY WITHOUT HAVING GENERAL at least i think idk i might be wrong) which i ended by saying "i probably dont have clinical anxiety but i do believe my brain has been wired to react to certain situations based on how i had to react to those situations for six years" which then lead to me talking more about my bully and my mom pretty much siphoning as much emotional vulnerability and opening up out of me as she could

And then at the end i told her "can i please leave i kind of feel like crying and i dont want to do it in front of a person at the moment" (because I haven't cried in a few months and i feel like I'm in need of a good cry tbh which in itself is something she doesnt really understand) which lead her to go "why do you feel like crying now I'm worried for you" and HHHHHHEBDJBEHNDEJHBDNEHDBEH yeah--

There's probably more i could say but I'm not going to, because its almost 1 am and while i had actually been about to sleep early at like ten she ended up roping me into an hour or two long talk about emotions, which is. Fun. And i have to get up in six hours so I'm going to go to bed. Sorry if this was a mess which I'm sure it is, i really just needed to get this out there lol

Also when i went to my dad after this to say goodnight (i actually like talking to my dad abt this stuff a lot since his brain and mine are just really similar) he gave me this lil smile and just said "deep breaths" and that made me feel better