#thats all. oh um
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find another role, carry on the show
#EDIT IT DIDNT SAVE MY TAGS. hey so this post got a thousand notes huh. interesting. surely nothing will change#i'll leave all the old tags. for my thought process. and its kinda funny#take a bow stupid idiot (throws a tomato at them)#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#siffrin no middle names no last name ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#... or is it. Smiles#i'd like to draw mira for her birthday but um (hasnt open artfight website in a few days) im scared.#also i have NICE ASKS TO ANSWER.... But im scared. give me a minute#Uawaaaaagh i drew this bc i was trying to animate a little bit but it just . Didnt look good. im not good ag 2d animation#tch. ill keep trying cause there ar e way too many songs that and now about isat because i have brain worms. i need amvs.#IM SCARED TO POST THINGS THAT ARE SPOILERY BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO PLAY ISAT. BUT.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sasasap#sasasa:p#WHAT IS THE PROLOGUES TAG.#tshirt that says 'i <3 killing the image in the mirror and taking its place' on the fromt#and a list of megan thee stallions tour dates on the back. お金稼ぐ俺らはスター#Im kind of tempted to edit this to be the versiom with the eyes. or maybe twt can have that. or. well#all of my friends are on twt (trombone slide sfx) so maybe thats where i should worry about spoilers.#ill see if i want to slap an eyepatch on them in the morning#Im one of those people who was like idgaf about twohats (lets it simmer for a week) Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmy god#EDIT. i swapped it out for the Eyes version it should be fine as long as its tagged formspoilers right...#ill post eyepatch vers on twt partly bc spoilers but also ppl over there can be .. annoying ..... ....#i fear i would get 800 You Forgot The Eyepatch replies. PLEASE JUST SEE MY VISION.#[BANGING MY HANDS ON THE GLASS] HIS HAND. LIKE IN THE PROLOGUE. WHEN THEYE. HANDS. HELD[EXPLOSION
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friendshup is magic .guys did u know guys Guys
click 4 better quality + other vers in undercut
no bg vers + flats as a treat
#this took 7 hours lalala ok never again#mlp#mlp fanart#oh boy this is going to be a. fun thing to tag#fluttershy fanart#pinkie pie fanart#twilight sparkle#rarity fanart#rainbow dash#rainbow dash fanart#applejack#applejack fanart#fluttershy#pinkie pie#twilight sparkle fanart#UUGHH#um#ueah ok thats all im doing Who care#possuminnit.art
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☆ de fontaine
{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
Furina will make sure they do.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#furina#so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe#furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal#furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her#playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy#furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself” when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown#sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all#because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end
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Tachibana Kotoha (橘 ことは) Character Profile
Café Pothos Employee
Height: 158cm | Weight: Secret [written in hiragana - ひみつ] | Birthday: 5 April | Constellation: Aries | Blood type: A
Image colour: Apricot orange [#FD9A5E - see below]
Likes: Taking care of plants, fashionable stuff in general | Dislikes: Being fussed over too much
Favourite food: Omurice | Disliked food: Spicy stuff
Fashion style: Loves all things fashionable
Hobby: Talking with people
Favourite season: Spring | Favourite music genre: Songs with piano
Best subject: Japanese | Worst subject: Mathematics
Special skill: Recently became able to evaluate the taste of coffee [1]
Person they respect, senpai they look up to: The sensei at the facility
Dream: To live in a house with a large walk-in closet
Recent W (or L): Doubled Pothos' sales
Favourite place in Makochi: Pothos [shops guide]
What they always do in the morning: Makeup・Styling her hair (has decided not to appear in front of customers without makeup)
↑ from profile at the end of chapter 9
[1] The phrase used here is 「利きコーヒー」; the only similar phrase I could find is 「利き酒」 - sake (wine) tasting, so this is how I interpreted it. Will update Tsugeura's profile as well!
[masterlist]
#wind breaker (satoru nii)#wind breaker character book#tachibana kotoha#wei translates#from the alleywei#omurice trio...#(including ume) oh sensei...#thats all of bofurins profiles done!#next will be the townspeople and shops
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had a bunch of malevolent drawings/doodles not good enough to post separately so here they all are
i need everybody to know that kayne in the sketchbook is right next to noel family guy death pose that i gave up on btw. crucial information
#LAST POST BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW 💥💥💥💥💥#when i learn how to. digital its over for all of you#malevolent#malevolent fanart#oh boy yhe characters. ok lets go um#kayne malevolent#the butcher malevolent#john doe malevolent#HUZZAH!!!! HUMAN JOHN ?!?!?!#detective noel#noel malevolent#charlie dowd#theres like fifty tags for this bitch and i will ise all of them vecayse i love him#oscar malevolent#faroe lester#daniel saltzman#AND THATS ALL OF THEM YAYY#i should start tagging art with art now that theres more bullshit on this blog#art tag#i guess#fully anticipating this to get negative three notes. aaand send post#the faroe drawing is for a fic i'm making btw
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finally finished another sketchbook good riddance🎉
#sth#doodles#hey would you guys believe me if i said this guy is on. every single page of said sketchbook. would NOT recommend#on one hand im pretty well versed in how to draw him and on the other i am oh so stuck. hes my only guy. sure i have a couple failsafes#but those only get me so far and im back to the rat again (affectionate) like. agh i need to get out of this#someone teach me how to study new stuff that would fix me#ok rant over im normal again. so sonic right#theres some prime stuff and frontiers too if you squint. looking at the third to last one#um. i think thats all i wanted to say. its 2am 🧍#binturong......
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Absolutely love your writing for all the AU/5 headcanons asks. Can I ask: AU where Rei cheats on Endeavor with All Might? It happens after AM's injury, so she doesn't recognize him, and he ofc doesn't know that she's married in the first place, much less to whom
you make this very difficult for me by giving me a window of 6 and half years for them to have an affair and for every single moment of that window, Rei is institutionalized. how am i supposed to get them to meet, much less take their clothes off. ok. think. there are other fic writers who specialize in this kind of thing, surely. what would they do....
1- ok so. The fire alarm at the hospital goes off. Rei doesn't know if it's a drill or not, but she's been there for seven years and generally does not need a lot of support during something like this like other patients do, so the nurses wave her out and she stands around outside a bit waiting for the fire alarm to stop and them to go back in. (It isn't a drill, they wouldn't have evacuated everyone if it was, but Rei is on the other side of the building and facing away from seeing any smoke) (This smoke is from a villain attack that All Might is taking care of, though he's only got seconds left of his power to use that day. he quickly rushes off, deflating and stumbling out on the other side of the hospital. Where Rei is.)
2- Rei is like "huh that guy doesnt seem to be in good shape" and kinda waves attention at him, and a nurse who's passing out water to patients and keeping an eye on the road gives Toshinori some too, getting more concerned when he dazedly answers that he's All Might and coughs up blood, but the nurse figures he's concussed since he smells of smoke and must have been closer to the fight, and is just reeling from being able to see the number one hero in person. Then they get distracted and wave Toshi to wait nearby, where Rei offers to chill his water and asks if he's alright, if he breathed in any smoke.
3- They chat and then go back into the hospital as it's un-evacuated together, Rei hanging out in the lobby where he sits as the hospital staff focus on getting everyone else back to their rooms. It pays to be low priority sometimes. Eventually she tells him her name is Rei and that she's in room K18, if he ever wants to visit or call. She doesn't get to talk to anyone except doctors, family visitors, or other paitients, and most of them don't stay nearly as long as she does. It's been seven years, and she's very lonely. Toshinori is lonely too, and when he's out of time for a day and feeling useless with nothing to do, he likes to talk to a friend.
4- Rei has been in the hospital for eight years when it gets physical. At that point, Toshinori knows a bit about her family. She has kids, mentions visits from a son and daughter, and then quietly mentioned when her son turned seventeen- her daughter's already twenty. She's been there for so much of their lives. He asks if she's married, and she admits she isn't sure how to file for divorce in a hospital like she is, if she even can, if she wants to because she'd lose custody, if it matters when she's not raising them anyway. He doesn't ask much more, knows there is a dead child and a baby she says isn't safe with her there. Toshinori never called Nana 'mom' to her face while she was alive, and had a reason for it, and has a similar reason for not asking more, not asking for the other names when he gets Fuyumi and Natsuo's. Yes, the doctors and nurses all know Rei has a boyfriend who visits. they don't say anything. who would they even tell, anyway. I debated the humor of reusing the bit from candlelight shoto that Toshi and Rei could have a kid with a fire quirk, but yeah here? Rei ain't getting pregnant, absolutely not.
5- When Natsuo turns eighteen, Rei does actually file for divorce, or at least tries to get the ball rolling on that. Toshinori's trusted her that her marriage is over in all but name, but he's more at ease with it ended fully. Fuyumi is crushed but burying it all deep inside. Natsuo is like 'what are you talking about. divorce is the most normal possible outcome here.' But anyway, Rei also begins to bring up being discharged- something she never bothered with earlier, when it seemed like she'd never be able to go home while Shoto was there, and never would want to go back anyway. (Her parents are absolutely not an option either so where would she go once discharged? the hospital was her only security.) Toshinori then tells her at this point about his diagnosis, that he's supposed to be terminal, in a way. He doesn't have a lot of time he can give her. Rei says that's ok, she'll take what she can get. She moves in. Fuyumi still goes out to eat with her once a week, though Rei doesn't say she's moved in with a boyfriend, just says she's in a safe place and it's not Fuyumi's job to worry about it, please, let her do that, relax, be her daughter instead of a mother. Natsuo adds her to his cellphone plan and gets her one. Rei doesn't tell Toshinori her ex's identity. Toshinori doesn't tell her about OfA, though she does know he's mentoring a student for heroics and is very proud of him. (Toshinori is a secretary at Might Tower, he's a great mentor. Oh huh, he got a job position at UA at the same time as All Might, she wonders if they carpool.)
+1- OK THE REVEAL so the reveal is. Toshinori gets home from the SF. And Rei almost knocks him out by the door, eyes wide and panicked, asking if he's ok, if Shoto's ok. Toshinori is like "... young todoroki? yeah he's alright? i know his fight with young bakugo looked bad but- Rei???" And that's when it all clicks for him, he's having dozens of horrible realizations at once, all while Rei weeps over her youngest. Toshinori's been a hero for a very, very long time. He's felt hopeless, before. But even then, he's known what needs to be done, he just isn't able to do it. But now? he's at a complete loss with no idea what he should do.
#quick poll here. um. do we think shoto knows his parents are divorced#because i mean theres a lot of things he doesnt know about his family that he should#its not like they're really talking at that point#on the other hand. would enji have told him out of frustration for him clinging to his ice when rei left them?#basically. which one is funnier#Shoto going 'mom divorced you??? OH HELL YEAH GOOD FOR HER IM ONLY USING ICE TO CELEBRATE THAT i mean i know she hates me sure she should.#as long as she isn't tied to YOU anymore either we are going down hand in unlovable hand old man!!!'#or#shoto having no idea of the divorce and so when the truth comes out#either from toshinori or rei#hes like 'HELL YEAH YOUVE BEEN CHEATING ON DAD WITH ALL MIGHT???? HIGH FIVE MOM THATS THE BEST POSSIBLE REVENGE DABI WISHES HE'D#ORCHESTRATED THIS BUT HE NEVER HAD THE CREATIVITY TO!!! wait what do you mean its not cheating anymore because youre divorced'#these tags are funny because wow theres a lot of yikes and heavy stuff in the main post. ah ha ha. ah.#pocket talks to people#ask game#anon
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And my thing STILL is that as carmen gets a stronger sense of her past and better connections with her friends and allies the need/desire for Gray in her life doesn't decrease and dissapate, it INCREASES and is refined. All while constantly being more sincerely layered in romantic tones as the show goes on.
#red crackle#red crackle thoughts#op watches#imo you actually cant dismiss it as (well thats all VILE propaganda)#when the show said (and those encounters + possible romantic realizations pushed gray to pull his care for her to the surface)#and carmen knew it was a date! never let her off the hook for that! she knew it was a date and yearned to join him at that table!#i dont think a show so proud of its check->czech joke overlooked that framing#+ minor note even how he goes from she's attractive-> much more serious contemplating on who she is and affection#just because gray would in fact never say 🥺um goodness is important doesnt mean you can wholesale throw out what is happening#during the arc#carmen yearns#and she becomes more and more open about it as she stabilizes#as the shows parallels about love/redemption/and desire for reconciliation get stonger too like#hmmm i hate this show#never am i gonna find this specific kind of absolutely wild that leaves me bewiltered that the show does not in fact work in parts shdjflfk#part 1 is complete onto-....oh wait...oh wait yeah netflix ...#....anyway it has to be them#it has to be the girl who left the isle and the boy who found someone he never expected to love this much
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⬤UTLAWS // Mini MV
We ABSOLUTELY never watch it! / ABSOLUTELY never say it! / ABSOLUTELY never hear it! / There is NOTHING we need to know!!!!
Bright moon is in the sky! / Crescent moon is in the shadow! / Take the unforgivable thought! / Take the unapplicable exception!
JUST HIDE THEM ALL AND LIVE, OKAY?!
DIJIIIIIIIIII HE GETS AN MV (sorta)!!!!!!!!!!!! for a pretty simple looking 20 second video this took me FAR too long, but then again capcut isnt the best editing software in the world.
so yeah i got suddenly possessed to edit a short video of him with this song cause RAAAH ITS SUCH A BANGER!!! and some of the themes fit him, though i admit its not toooo fitting -- some of the lyrics fit meg more BUT its a song about moons and rabbits!!!!! it HAS to be about him!!!
i didnt do the part that had the lyrics i put in the caption even though those fit him best because... well its kinda complicated + animated and ive already suffered enough by just doing these simple overlay layers and keyframes.
anyways i had a lot of fun with this!!!! i heart diji. youre gonna get a lot of him because ever since that fairy brothers post ive been brainrotting on both of them alot >:)
#diji (oc)#sighhh i want him to have a cute emoji tag cause tagging his name is booooring#UNFORTUANATELY. all the moon emojis are ugly.#🌘#thatll do...#UHHH time to tag this with actual tags#uh oh...#original character#oc#oc art#um. what else#UUUHM.#OH RIGHT#fairy brothers#ahh what else...#i guess thats fine#HI GUYS. I HOPE YOU LIKE MY OCS. BECAUSE YOURE GONNA BE SEEING THEM A LOT.
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i forgot how to draw sorry
#my art#deadpool#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#um#thats all the tags i can think of#OH#art#ok now im doneq
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fairer winds that never blew
hey, L. sorry i'm late.
---
L doesn't actually particularly enjoy the rain.
Why would she? It makes her clothes stick to her skin. Yes, they're already the optimal texture, but nevertheless L would rather not have the reminder.
Sometimes it's necessary, though. Grounding. L considers herself a realist, but recently her thought patterns have become… troublingly unanchored.
She needs a plan, she thinks. Looks up at the sky. The rain is soaking her hair, ruining the ten full seconds of work she does after showers to make it look spiky. She needs a plan. There is a ninety percent chance she is going to die in the next twenty-four hours and she must find a way to lower it.
The bells clamor in her ears.
Footsteps. She looks over. She can never resist looking.
"What are you doing standing out there in the rain?"
L knows how to read lips, obviously. But the whole point is to draw Light outside. She cups a hand to her ear.
"What are you doing, standing out there in the rain?!"
L tilts her head further.
Light sighs in frustration and marches out. L should, probably, feel victorious about this. She drops her gaze instead and stares in the direction of the bells.
Ninety percent.
L should throw Light into a holding cell right now. L should turn headquarters in and out looking for the missing scrap of paper from the murder notebook. L should bullshit another excuse to put Light Yagami under observation, the brilliant specimen she is, and track Misa Amane down with the surveillance bugs attached to her.
But god, the hope crawling in her chest is suffocating.
Go to hell, Light Yagami, she thinks. You've made me an optimist.
The footsteps stop near her. L looks.
"What are you doing, Ryuzaki?"
The I'm not doing anything in particular catches in her throat, half-formed. She frowns instead.
"You cut your hair."
"Oh." Light touches the back of her head in a fairly convincing mimicry of self-consciousness. Her eyes are deader than ever. "Yes. I told you, it was just a phase. I'm not really tr— I'm not like that."
Not like you, she doesn't say. How kind.
"A phase." L should leave it; it's only circumstantial evidence. She presses anyway. "And you've told your father?"
It's fascinating, watching Light decide in real time that a chuckle is too odd given the circumstances. She goes for a long exhale instead. "Not yet. I'm not quite sure how to explain it to him, that I was just… confused. I will soon, though. Listen, Ryuzaki, what are you doing here?"
Like a dog with a bone, L thinks, with a worrying amount of fondness. "It's nothing," she says. Looks up at the sky, gray as television static. "It's just… I hear the bell."
"The bell?"
"Yes," L says, glancing at her. Light's face barely moves. "The sound of the bell has been unusually loud today."
Light's eyebrows furrow. She looks around. "I don't hear anything."
"Really," L says. "You can't hear it." Of course she can't. L is perfectly aware that she is hearing things, most likely from the nightmares. "It's been ringing non-stop all day. I find it very distracting."
Light has her hand up to shield her face from the rain. It isn't working well.
"I wonder if it's a church," L continues. "Maybe a wedding, or perhaps a…"
"What are you getting at, Ryuzaki?" Ah, there's the annoyance. It's not real either. "Come on, cut it out. Let's get back inside."
So you can shave a few more minutes off my lifespan?
What is L doing out here? What is she hoping to achieve? Why mention weddings around her chief suspect in a mass murder investigation?
"I'm sorry," she says. She's not. She's angry at herself, maybe, for ever entertaining any other possibility. "Nothing I say makes any sense anyway. If I were you, I wouldn't believe any of it."
Light makes a soft, confused noise, and doesn't move.
L stares at the floor. Water drips off the strand of hair directly in front of her nose. The seconds tick away, too loud and too fast.
"You know, you're totally right," Light says. There's a laugh underlining her words. L can't find it in her eyes. "Honestly, most of the things you say sound like complete nonsense. There'd be no end to my troubles if I actually took you seriously all the time. I probably know that better than anyone."
All this time, and Light Yagami still loves to hear herself talk. L turns to the railing for a brief second just to conceal her stupid, involuntary smile.
"Yes," she says. "I would say that's a fair assessment."
She should leave, now. Obviously Light will only spend the rest of their time talking in circles. L has far more important things to do, like confirm that Watari has found a death row inmate to test the murder notebook with.
"But I could say the same about you," she continues.
"Hm?" Light frowns. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You said earlier that" — L has to get this right. Logically this meeting should affect nothing, but it is suddenly the most important case she has ever done. "You were confused."
"That—" Light huffs. "What does that have to do with this?"
L studies her. Studies the odd, jagged edges of Light's haircut, so unlike the rest of her, all carefully picked eyebrows and neat button-up now drenched with rain. L wonders if she discarded the scrunchie now that she no longer has a ponytail, if she's tucked the purple sundress away. If there's anything left of the girl who punched her in the nose and demanded who's the one who swore to send Kira to his execution? and stared at her reflection with a trembling, terrified joy and forgot to hide her vicious grin when she served that final tennis blow.
It's funny. L used to be annoyed by moralizers. She still is.
She wants to save Light Yagami with an emotion so desperate that she wishes she didn't recognize it.
"Ryuzaki," Light says, quiet, prompting. There's a sliver of fear in her eyes.
"Tell me, Light, from the moment you were born, has there ever been a point where you've actually told the truth?"
Light freezes.
For a second, a single second, she looks down. Then back up.
In another universe just a split hair from this one, her eyes are only a flat, blank brown. In that universe she dies Light Yagami, prodigal child, unloving fiance, just another murderer. In that universe her tombstone reads precious son and brother, because even in death she was lying through her teeth.
"Where's this coming from, Ryuzaki?" Light asks, and L seizes onto the almost-inaudible tremble in her voice with both hands.
"What do you think, Light-chan?"
Light flinches. She's out of practice, L thinks, with something that should be glee blossoming in her ribcage. "I told you to stop calling me that."
"You did," L says, keeping her gaze steady.
"What do you want me to say?" Light snaps. "I'm sorry if you feel misled. It was just an experiment. It didn't mean anything. I'm not a girl."
L opens her mouth to say something, then stops. Light's fists are clenched at her sides. Her breaths are angry and fast. November in Japan isn't anywhere close to freezing, but if L focuses long enough she thinks she can see white steam.
Something frantic hums in her bloodstream. Keep her talking.
"I'm not misled," she says. "I'm only curious."
Light's scoff is only barely sanded into a laugh. "Yeah. You're always curious. It's all you know how to be."
"That hurts, Light," L says, plain.
Light flinches again. "What are you doing?"
L glances down at herself, then back up. "Am I disturbing you somehow?"
"Y—No. No, of course not."
Neither of them have moved. There are three paces between them and a hollow grate for the rain to fall through. L wonders if it would give way under their weight.
She won't cross. Can't. L Lawliet is a liar and a thief and at least three detectives, but she does not know how to be anyone but herself.
"…You're acting strange," Light says. "How long have you been standing out here?"
L is fairly sure the concern is not entirely feigned, which makes everything so much worse. "I don't know," she says. "How long have you been running away, Yagami Raito?"
She searches for anger in the set of Light's jaw. Instead Light looks as though she's the one with her back to the railing.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Light says. "I'm right here."
L swallows.
"Perhaps if you came over."
"Ryuzaki," Light says, quiet enough that it's almost a rasp.
I miss you, L doesn't say, because she isn't and will never be the kind of person to say it. You're like a shadow, Light. I always miss you.
"I run away all the time, too," L tells her instead. The rain slides down her skin. "I hide behind the television screen. I'm childish and I hate to lose."
Light is silent.
"I liked your hair long," L says, and it almost sounds exactly the same as usual except that in sheer desperation her voice cracks, and then Light is running and the grate holds beneath her and she crashes into L, 179 centimeters of supernova, and L catches her.
"I hate you," Light says, her eyes blazing, "L, I hate you so much—"
"I know," L says. "I knew from the start—"
Light Yagami kisses the way she throws her punches: with a devastating, furious terror. She has one hand fisted in the neckline of L's shirt, pulling her impossibly closer like she wants to reach into L's ribcage, her mouth the only point of warmth in the downpour around them and startlingly soft. L kisses back. There's no universe where she doesn't. She lifts her hands to cup Light's rain-slick face so very carefully, feels Light shudder into the touch.
She tastes like nothing but water but her lips are slightly chapped. L grazes her lower lip with teeth, the barest contact, and Light makes a sound like oh but significantly softer, and — god, L thinks she loves her.
"This is all your fault," Light says against L's mouth. "This is all your fault."
"Liar," L says, and kisses her again.
I win, she thinks, I win, an undeniable giddiness bubbling in her veins, but it's not victory that makes Light taste so very sweet. L is always, always thinking about the game — it's built into her bones — but these days it's impossible to separate it from the beautiful paradox that is Light Yagami. L doesn't want to. She wants to split Light apart and stare at the way she refracts forever.
"Ryuzaki," Light says, pulling away only a centimeter. Her eyes are blown wide and dark and it takes all of L's self-control to not yank her back in. "I just remembered. I came up here to tell you something."
"Yes, Light?"
"The thirteen-day rule. You wanted to test it."
"Yes."
"Don't." Light swallows; L traces it down the line of her throat. "Don't do it, don't even talk about it in front of the Shinigami. Rem. I think she's dangerous."
"Okay," L says.
"What?" Light blinks. "Just like that?"
"She's hiding something," L says. "It's very obvious. And besides, I'm sure you'd know best."
Light narrows her eyes.
L smiles back at her, guileless. "Anything else, Light-chan?"
"…I think I regret cutting my hair," Light says, barely a whisper.
"It's alright," L says. Kisses her again, just because she can. "It'll grow back."
---
a/n: thank you to this post by luzon-dove and to the canon dialogue "i'm human — that's not allowed? / no, it's not" that ai-the-broccoli reminded me of for making me realize that L is, fundamentally, a yearner.
i love you, L Lawliet. i love you, person reading this. stay safe out there
#happy birthday l lawliet here is the only happy ending i can imagine for you#death note#l lawliet#light yagami#lawlight#transfem light yagami#transfem l lawliet#(though it's slightly less relevant)#lawlight yuri#okay i think thats all my tags out of the way#um. it is now 8 in the morning. i did not sleep.#sometimes something just possesses you y'know#wish me luck for staying awake the rest of the day hahahahahhaaaaaaaa#oh shit wait#transphobia cw#(internalized)
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oh to be the person Umemiya Hajime meets and falls for as he’s traveling after graduation
#mari says#meeting this guy who’s also traveling alone but he’d got too many green flags for you to stay away altogether#and he just naturally gets along with most people so he helps you when you’re having trouble with reservations for your hotel#gives you his number in case you get lost#ive been thinking about it#would he be the type to somehow end up with a dog as he’s traveling? I think so#comes back to makochi with a partner and a dog like nothing#can u imagine you meet a guy and go visit his hometown and literally EVERYONE knows him?#he’s just so casual abt it too like thats normal#its been on my mind OH I WANT TO WRITE RIGHT NOW BUT IHAVE LIKE 5 UMEMIYA WIPS THAT I SHOULDNT EVEN BE WRITING#EM YOU’RE READING THIS RIGHT?!?#THE SONG EYES ON YOU I MADE YOU LISTEN TO THE OTHER DAY#I CAN WORK WITH THAT#SORRY IM EXCITED#gotta be cool ok#maybe its rox’s fault for writing such a good ume thing#made me fall in love all over again grrr
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COMPUTER, ENHANCE.
reyna, ily. neon bullying phoenix is so real. cypher canonically using that smirk emoji, i have no comment. phoenix is abt to lose his shit
also love how reyna neon and phoenix all have those cute chibi icons (who on base drew them, btw) and then cypher's just cypher
#he said NO. I WILL USE THE SMIRK EMOJI UNIRONICALLY LIKE AN OLD MAN BUT I DRAW THE LINE AT A CUTE LITTLE ICON.#valorant#i also REALLY love how canonically all the agents just sit around GOSSIPING about the newest recruit. like that is SO fucking funny to me.#imagine rolling up and everyones just like hey :) weve been talking about you for a literal month now :)#and you just have to stand there like oh. um. ok. thats cool i guess. what did you-#and everyone refuses to elaborate. you dont get added into the GC until enough conversation has passed so u cant scroll up
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WHEN HAVE I FAKED A HYPER FIXATION FOR 3 WEEKS AS A BIT
ITS BEEN THREE WEEKS??????????
#I HADNT EVEN SEE YOUR SPN POSTS LIKE AT ALL#I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO OPEN YOUR BLOG AND SEE. uh#whats. whats his name.#um.#d.#duhhhhhhh#d... dan?#dean???#dean.#its dean.#...#...right?#oh god what if thats the other guy. or the other other guy. fuck.#no its dean#cuz thats the one you like.#............right.#anyways i thought you were just. Saying. 'haha yeah im into spn. the horrors amirite' every now and then. as a bit#it feels like something you would do
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i don't wanna spend waaaaay too much time farming in this game so im just gonna farm bosses and... uh, use that moxxi money glitch that apparently never got patched since game launch
#also should've just left this game tbh i have other 3 games that im still playing rn#(um d2 doesn't really count idk when was the last time i opened that)#anyways i think i'll try to do all the side quests. if i can#i need fl4k dialogues. bl3 fandom wiki lacks way too much stuff i can't even find most quotes in missions of fl4k#and also playing the campaign twice kinda makes me actually know about the characters so i have a bit more motivation to do so#by “know” i mean “not having absolutely zero interest about them”#which is quite an easy definition to achieve at first glance#but they have faces you know#thats an immediate -99% interest from me#i'd rather draw atlas soldiers and face mcshooty than lilith and shit#oh wait face mcshooty is not in bl3#i watched too much bl2 runs back then#maybe should try to draw captain flynt#borderlands 3#ramble
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The first pokedigi design is gohs!
Not sure if the designs are final but erm yeah
Also I suck at drawing things with no visible neck(*ノ´□`)ノ
There's a slim chance I change lopmon to a diffrent digimon but unlikely hehe
#hehe i think he looks alright#it probably wont get mentioned to much but always assume when its me drawing/talking about goh or#hes afab and transmasc#most likly gender apathetic#hehe not projecting or anything#anyway gohs parnter digimon is lopmon!#i made this desion because lopmon is kinda similar to sobble? kind of i think most of the time lopmon are pretty shy?#anyway i probably should have gone for somthing similar to scorbunny but i love lopmon hehe#anyway i think thats all ill say here so um yea#pokemon#digimon#(-.-)zzz・・・・#goh#pokemon goh#gou#OH also shigegou happens hehe there sora and matt it cant be that supriseing hehe
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