#thats all I'll say too i dont like being too negative

[pinkyjulien]

More than a week after finishing my first playthrough of DAV and reflecting on it, I think it boils down to; I had a good time playing, it's a good game, it's a cool action RPG, but to me it's a bad dragon age? If that makes sense

The whole "oh btw Viper is the black divine lol" reveal and everything that implies was kind of what made me realize that Yeahhh... I had a great time with it, loved the game, had a lot of fun, but. As others said, it feels a bit shallow and it misses a lot of what I loved in the previous games. If I sit and detach it from the trilogy, think of it as a spin off? It'd work GREAT! But that coping falls quick considering how many important lore we got from it and how it directly continues on Solas story - its just too bad it wasn't... explored deeper or idk. I feel really sad about the game I'm ngl, a lot of What Could've Been, but eh, as I said, still a great experience and I'll replay it ofc! I'm having fun modding it too

The only ones I'm blaming here is EA btw - the devs poured a lot of love in there and it shows, and I can only hope they'll be able to continue exploring this universe in the future 😞

[s3lkie2sato]

i need to quit being so negative because i cannot keep making other people arpund me so sad

[nappingnai]

・❥・ mr scarletella headcanons

{ who doesn't love a tall 8ft ghost dressed in all red thats a huge creep? i know i do!!! }

ᡣ𐭩 -he's unnaturally flexible. considering he's a ghost, he can bend and twist in ways that could kill a normal person.

(ive heard people say he doesnt have joints, either)

ᡣ𐭩 -knows everything about you. your favorite show, how you're feeling, everything. scarletella uses this against you sometimes. not necessarily in a negative light, but considering they dont know the meaning of boundaries, he's a little bitch sometimes.

ᡣ𐭩 -after the scarlet rain ending, he'd do literally anything you ask. clean up for you, kill some person thats blocking the way, the list goes on.

ᡣ𐭩 -extremely jealous. you cant convince me that he wouldnt start like vibrating with anger the moment he sees you speaking to another guy, bonus if its another human. i like to think he killed mr. human because of that.

ᡣ𐭩 -adding onto the jealousy topic— mr scarletella doesn't get too jealous of the other monsters. its more and less with some. more so to mr crawling, less to mr chopped.

ᡣ𐭩 -knows what you're doing all. the. time. its like a sixth sense (did i use that right) for him. he knows who you're with and what room you're in. that scene when you're hiding in the vent? he didnt call you out for funsies. too lazy.

ᡣ𐭩 -we all know mr crawling is like a dog— but i think the same about mr scarletella. he'll secretly follow you around everywhere. even if you dont know he's there, he is.

ᡣ𐭩 -very big stalker vibes, although if you're doing something requiring privacy (ex; showering, changing, restroom) he leaves you to it. oddly, when you're done doing those things, you immediately feel a pair of eyes on you again.

{ me after not writing for MONTHS to come back and write about some otome game i paid 14 dollars for

all jokes aside if you're reading this im SOOO sorry for being gone for so long and btw if u followed me for jjk content im sorry again......i'll try and post jjk again but huys im so inconsistent with my fandoms its horrendous. BUT TAKE THIS!!!! :D }

[baby-xemnas]

I love so much that “Bepo is Law’s weakness” is arguably canon. It’s not “Law’s weakness is cute things” like some ppl in fandom try to say since Law is pretty visibly unaffected by Chopper, little kids, all the standard “cute things” in OP. It’s literally just Bepo and his cuteness that has an effect on Law, and we see it in reaction to Bepo going “🥺” when Bepo was sick, letting Bepo hug him all the time, taking Bepo to Uta concert only bc he knows Bepo wants to go, etc. LawBepo is such a perfect ship, massively underrated ship frfr 🩷🩷🩷🩷

there is this very good compilation pic from @/daily_trafalgar on twitter with a caption "law's reaction to cute things"

you mean barely a reaction

and then there is Bepo

Bepo is special he is spoiled and coddled and can do anything he wants with barely a word from Law. i do think Law is good with kids but Bepo is a grown man - his best friend

and as much as some lawbepo non-shippers want to see them as parent and child -you dont see someone YOU grew up with. YOU were children at the same time with - and grew up alongside each other as a CHILD. You just don't see them as that, it's nonsense. Yes he is like law's little brother but not a child

(i call him Law's baby like 20 times a day but that's in a way that a cute girlfriend is "baby")

Saying all this to say that "oh Law is weak to Bepo's cuteness because he is like Law's baby" (implying child) or even worse = when people call him a pet They grew up together - 4 year difference is forgotten about -you are peers - yes of course Bepo is both subordinate and looks up to Law as an stronger smarter leader etc. but thats not a parental dynamic at all.

its a very serious, rational and collected guy and his favorite guy who he spoils in big and little ways and have been spoiling him their whole lives...

i love that Law saved Bepo from getting his ass beat and dying alone and brought him home and they just stayed in that dynamic their whole life and both became adults but this "Bepo is precious and weak af and i love him" pretty much didn't change.

and Bepo is so comfortable with it. novel was Law focused so it never gave Bepo an "I'LL TO PROVE MYSELF TO YOU THAT YOU DONT HAVE TO PROTECT ME ALL THE TIME I CAN HOLD MY OWN" arc - and that would make sense for his character if there was time/desire to focus on him but because of those constraints Bepo bypassed that and i kinda love it? (you can call it another of many copes of mine idc) but him NOT having a standart "little brother" arc is awesome, Bepo is very comfortable in his role and when he speaks its always

"I'll do my best for you and help where i can because you are so amazing" there is zero of his own ego. He is comfortable in his "lower rank" role, he doesn't strive to be Law's equal he knows he can't be! Law san is the greatest!!

Law is happy with it too because he is a protector in nature (look at his bigass crew ;-;♥) so bepo being HAPPY to be protected makes him happy too. It makes Law feel strong and good, it plays on his ego in a positive way being looked up to and sought out as a protector - yes it's pressure (that Bepo does his best to elevate) but it's not negative and Law takes it happily, it's good to feel needed. And it all started with Bepo and they preserved that - Law is always strong and cool leader and protector and Bepo is always UUUU CAPTAIN 🥺😭🥺😭🥺😭

they are the best and i love them so much it's such a special dynamic and it makes Law's character so much better

[writingpuddle]

just had to say, i loved your tags on that post about the upperclassmen and how they treat kevin/andrew/neil. fandom tends to work on this "they're all assholes" beliefs, and it's not necessarily untrue. but i think people tend to forget just how unlikeable kevin and andrew are from the upperclassmens perspective. i think people also forget the upperclassmen didn't just blindly love neil. for all his faults, like you said, he was pretty chill. he was much easier to get along with and it helped massively that unlike kevin/andrew he actually wanted to make a connection with the upperclassmen.

im glad my tags resonated with you! i have this half-cooked thesis that maybe one day i'll get around to fleshing out about the difference between individual responsibility and collective responsibility that i always think about when i see this conversation pop up--something about how yes, we as a society have a responsibility to people who have been harmed to try and help them recover, but that responsibility doesnt actually apply to every individual person. in this case, the idea that wymack founded the foxes (an institution) in order to help people move forward and build a future doesnt mean that every individual involved in the foxes has to invest all their energy in that same goal. in fact its pretty wild to expect every beneficiary of a service to simultaneously provide it to those around them.

the institution has to be be fair, has to provide help independent of some arbitrary category of 'deserving' but individuals...dont have to do that. every fox signed on to escape their own nightmare, not to help fix the other foxes. the upperclassmen have no responsibility to reach out to kevin and andrew when they have been so hostile in return. wymack has to, because he made a commitment to doing so. the upperclassmen didnt.

and as you said--the question of why the upperclassmen were nicer to neil is straightforwardly answered by he wasnt mean to them. he was sometimes unnecessarily blunt or rude (if we got what we deserved we wouldnt be foxes) but he was also the one who gave them awed compliments when he first started playing with them. he was the one who said we can win this. he was the one who shut kevin up when he started to be negative.

he was easy to like. part of that was intentional on his part--not that he was intentionally being likeable, but he was trying to portray himself to be less antagonistic than he really is. he tells us quite explicitly that he is portraying 'neil' to be meeker than his natural instincts, so he hangs out with the upperclassmen and is mostly at least neutral in terms of social hangouts and when it comes to exy he is extremely positive. and despite his occasional snaps at the upperclassmen, he actually rarely lashes out when its not deserved. his temper is reserved for riko and people who support him. kevin and andrew lash out at the upperclassmen in their own ways, and avoid them in many other circumstances, for reasons that are often obscure without neils insider knowledge. it isnt morally wrong to like someone who is easier to be around.

'why are they nicer to neil' because neil was nicer to them. thats how human interaction works. doesnt mean andrew and kevin didnt deserve help--but the person to provide that was the person who made a commitment to do it, not the people who just happened to be--effectively--their coworkers.

to sum up: everyone deserves human decency from everyone, but not everyone deserves friendship from everyone.

i guess--i dont want to get too antagonistic about this myself, because i actually doubt that many people have super simplistic views on this topic, theres just the occasional oversimplified post that gains a bit of traction. but i do think theres also a very fascinating tendency for people to try and make aftg into a neat didactic story about reaching out to people to understand them because neil reached out to andrew and it worked (and arguably saved both of them). but aftg isnt didactic. its not a prescription for how to behave. its made up. in real life, if i met andrew and it wasnt my job to help him, i would avoid him like the plague. sorry. i love him as a fictional character and i love him because i know his story but holy fuck i would not spend a minute in his company if i didnt have to.

friendship isnt social work. emotions arent activism. the upperclassmen didnt owe andrew and kevin their sympathy or their time just because they were traumatized. you cant control peoples emotional reactions to how they are treated. kevin and andrew treated them badly. neil largely didnt. thems, as they say, the breaks.

[hiroshotreplica]

im sorry you probably dont want this in your askbox but i dont really think it makes sense to talk about madness and leafi the same way for a lot of reasons. Idk maybe im just seeing a transgirl getting relentlessly dogpiled because of old screenshots and having an over-empathetic response but fuck man she was 13 when those screenshots were taken. Shes not even 18 right now shes crazy young for her level of play (like literally should be community banned for lying about being 13 for multiple years during splatoon 2 to get around discord community guidelines but thats a tangent). She said in her apology she was trying to fit in with a real shitty group of people she doesn't associate with anymore and fuck man im probably giving herself way too much grace cause i seeing a terrifying exaggeration of something i went through on a public scale but like people are editing HER face onto memes and talking shit about HER and constantly misgendering her when madness is not only an actual adult but has been ACTUALLY DOING THIS SHIT RECENTLY. im not saying the shit she was saying wasnt heinous but fuck man this isnt gonna help her and i dont want the dumass bullshit she said when she was a middle schooler to ruin the rest of her life. sorry for the white girl mental illness blast but there is important context in this ranty anxiety and projection goop

anon asked for a tldr for the situation w/ jackpot as a whole, which included leafi's part in the situation. as the post was about how jackpot as a team has made racist statements. i chose screenshots that put my point clearly, which just so happened to be screenshots with madness and leafi. i'll go more into it here, though

i did not mean to compare her to madness when including screenshots of her old statements. i was compiling the most blatant screenshots from the thread i had originally linked in a prior post. i was going to include other things, but didnt have the time to compile them and was beginning to get stressed about being the source of this info on tumblr.

i was also going to include this video of her saying racist statements in 2024, but i didnt want to include a twitter link for an anon that couldnt access twitter. im realizing i shouldve done so

i do feel bad for her getting involved with a group of people THAT bad if she was truly that ignorant when she was younger, but thats where my sympathy ends. she still acted racist and still associated with clearly racist people even when she was older and more mature. ive learned since making that post that she was born in 2007. 16 is still an age where you should be mature enough to understand that those comments are racist, even with america's shitty public education system glossing over racism.

i definitely see why this can look like people dogpiling on a trans woman though, and the people doing memes and editing her into them in general about this situation are disgusting. i had no idea she was trans and that people were misgendering her. anyone making this situation about her being trans are awful and not people i stand by.

but all of that, including her being skilled despite her age, still doesnt forgive or erase her actions. nothing like that does for the other members of jackpot that have also stated racist things. nothing like that does for any other comp splatoon player that has said anything similar. the apology she put out was needed, but from what ive heard from others, it wasnt the best. she is writing another apology, though, so it couldve just been rushed.

no one has to accept her apology, either. as a white person myself, im not one that should even be one to accept her apology. it wasnt an apology for me, and it isnt one for you, either (if you are white as you say but i might be misreading). people should not be painted in a negative light for not accepting her apology even if it were an amazing one.

the way some people are reacting to this situation is not okay, but she still did awful things that she should be held accountable for. the other guilty members of jackpot are not better than her, but theyve all still said fucked up things. none of them have done anything to prove they arent racist, and theres only more evidence coming out that proves that they have been, so its hard to process at the moment.

could things change? yes, of course, but as of right now, leafi has stated racist things as recent as 2024 and put out a poor apology trying to defend herself. people are handling it poorly and trying to make it about her identity and making memes on it when it is not the right thing to do. these racist claims are being put w/ other racist claims made by other jackpot team members so it was included in my tldr post about the entire situation.

i apologize for poor wording in this, im not the best w/ these kinds of posts

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hello everyone, today I'll do something never before seen on the flames and darkness liveblog which is read TWO chapters!! Idk man, i havent been able to read more than one chapter at a time recently because this book suddenly turned into such a slog to get through, although granted that might also just be my mental illness making it more difficult. whatever, i'll be in treatment for that next week

Anyway, today I'll be reading chapter 44 which is the star fall chapter, and chapter 45 which is. a chapter. Knowing this book series nothing of note is gonna happen in that one but that wont stop me from reading it

Chapter 44

Okay, theyre mentioning Feyre not looking so emancipated amymore and it made me remember all the weird weight shit from the start of this book. Like, she was losing weight because she was throwing up all the time and then not eating a lot and everyone was constantly remarking on that and it was unbelievably uncomfortable, but then when Feyre officially joined the night court and everyone immediately stopped talking about it, it almost feels a little manipulative, if that makes sense. Like, this book is ostensibly about Feyres healing journey but the Night Court cannot, under any circumstances, have anything negative associated with it so her trauma basically just disappears so we dont have to see the unpleasant parts of her recovery, she has one (1) nightmare after she starts living there permanently, one (1) moment where she feels too depressed to leave the bed and a few moment where she acts out but then immediately feels bad for it every time

Ughhhhh Feyre is wearing a dress for this which is really frustrating but you guys already know how I feel about that so shant go into that much more detail on this

I swear Im not just saying this to be a hater, Feyres dress sounds so tacky too

yoooooooo is Cassian implying he'd like to wear a tacky ass dress too??

and yet hes just wearing a BLACK TUNIC bro Feyre is literally covered in diamonds from head to toe so she can look like a shooting star or whatever and Cassian doesnt even have the decency to wear a black tunic that glitters or something?? Or hell, maybe even a red tunic to match his siphons, idk, give me SOMETHING im gonna tear my fucking hair out

Feyre is wondering about the IC being her friends and its like, girlie theyre barely even each others friends and youve known each other for maybe half a year to their 500 years

Feyre is describing Azriel hungrily staring at Mor's ass and it reminded me of that one bonus chapter Ive seen discussions about where he's really horny about Elain in a way thats pretty uncomfortable, and a lot of ex-Elriels say that it made them stop liking the idea of the ship because thats when they realized that SJM was just gonna mutilate both of their characters for the sake of smut, but honestly I dont think she would even need to mutilate Az that much

I could not give less of a shit about the Mor/Cassian/Azriel drama but I have to admit its kinda funny reading about Feyre speculating so much about Mor's relationships knowing shes gonna turn out to be interested in women

Mor says that Rhysand was very upset after she had sex with Cassian and beat him up as hard as he could (#incest) but she says he wasnt upset because of her virginity but because of the danger she put herself in by losing it, which is like, first of all that seems like splitting hairs, he was still upset that she lost her virginity even though that was none of his business. And second of all, I think it would actually make sense for him to have the kind of archaic sexist beliefs that would make Mor losing her virginity upsetting to him, considering he was also 17 when that happened just like Mor and Im guessing there wasnt anyone around to teach him feminism. or maybe hes so feminist he came out of the womb believing in womens rights and didnt need to be taught anything

god, the inner circle dynamics are so comically fucked up I have no idea how they can stand being around each other

Again, Im not much of a Feylin girlie but "Your hair looks... clean." >>>>>>>>>>>>>> "You look like a women again." (???? whats thag even supposed to mean)

So Rhysand is not wearing a black tunic, but he is wearing wearing a black jacket which is equally disappointing. atleast he has his tits out i guess

Rhysand was gone for 50 years and yet his best friends are not spending any time with him at their first party together since theyve been seperated, thats what i call friendship goals

Yeah, I guess its kinda sad that Rhys missed out on important holiday that meant a lot to him while undr the mountain but you know who else had to do that? Literally everyone that wasnt from the spring court

So he doesnt wanna tell his friends, who are by all accounts doing alright because theyve spent the past few decades trapped in a beautiful idyllic city, about his trauma but hes perfectly fine traumadumping on a twenty year old woman who just started to recover from her own trauma

Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this bullshit where theyre getting covered in star spirits or whatever feels so joyless to me, like its not whimsical or fun to me

Okay so, Ive heard about Rhysand calling Feyre exquisite and it made me cringe just thinking about it, but it looks like theyve translated that to him calling her 'herrlich' which means the exact same thing but it sounds a lot less weird and bad. once again, thank you, Alexandra

Feyre really just said "You regret sexually assaulting me? But why?" huh

Chapter 45:

Okay, thats the end of the chapter but theres two more things that kinda annoyed me that I didnt feel the need to mention as I was reading. 1) Feyre kept going on and on aboht Rhysand being her friend, it felt so insincere, its like sjm say a post online right before she started writing this chapter that was like "in the best relationships, your partner isnt just your partner but also your best friend" and decided to put that sentiment in her book, and 2) I felt like there were so many moments towards the end of that chapter where Feyre is like "oh, ive never felt this way with anyone" and its very obviously alluding to how she didnt love Tamlin as much as she does Rhysand now, and it was just very strange to read, like Tamlin was haunting the narrative even though hes not even dead yet

Uhm. so i got really tired all of a sudden so I took a nap at this point and read some gay vampire fanfic to rejunivate myself and now Im ready for whatever happens in the next chapter

"I was a traitor. [...] Even though I oficially left Tamlin - it was only two months ago, after all. By Fae standards that was probably barely more than a day." Oh yeah, i havent been keeping track of the time thanks for reminding me that this story about immortals is moving at a breakneck pace for no goddamn reason. But also, as an author trying to write a grand long-lasting romance, why would you write this. I know Feysand are gonna get married at the end of book and now when I get to that point Im not gonna be thinking "wowwww such romance" Im gonna be thinking "damn these bozos did the fae equivalent of getting eloped in vegas after knowing each other for barely a week"

Oh, men of all ages are training at this camp? would you say some of them are. child-aged

Feyre is being all "its so cold here, im freezing in my illyrian leathers I cant imagine a child with no clothes surviving here for a single day, much less eight years" (referring to Cassian) and yet she doesnt spare a single thought to all the children who have to be at this camp as well because this is the camp that the batboys grew up in, its not like this is a different kind of camp where they dont train children

God I hate Feyre thinking about how fuckin powerful the batboys are especially because its like, Rhysand is literally their high lord, he already holds so much power over the guys running this camp we dont need a reminder that he could easily crush their minds or that his goons need more syphons to contain the totality of their power or whatever

I get that these guys are like, shitty misogynists or whatever, but I dont think Rhys throwing them out of the house they live in is some #boyboss move hes just being an asshole

Rhysand would never want to lock Feyre in a house for protection, but he does want to decapitate anyone who lays a hand on her which is soooooo much better

Rhysand keeps calling the.... "females" of this camp "girls" which implies one of two things: 1) hes talking about adult women, hes just calling them girls, which is not very feminist of our feminist king, or 2) hes talking about actual girls aka children which. thank god for our feminist king having equal-opportunity child soldiers

Its actually kind of surreal how theyre at the camp where the batboys spent their CHILDhoods and Feyre keeps talking about what it mustve been like for Cassian while the narrative is actively avoiding talking about children being at the camp at this present moment while also not outright stating "there are no kids here at this present moment"

"'[The clipping of the wings is] to ensure the safety of their women, they said.'" this reminds me of something @/kateprincessofbluewhales said in regards to Rhysand forcing illyrian women to train but not doing anything else to advance their rights, which is that the wing clipping mightve started as a way for men to help women dodge the 'draft' that seems to be mandatory for all healthy illyrians. I dont really have anything else to say about that, it just popped into my head and i thought it was interesting

Rhysand is talking about how at some of the camps, women are declared anti-marriage material if they train and how he cant do anything about that and its like, even if these women are not officially declared unmarriable or whatever, the misogynistic men that make up these camps are probably not gonna wanna marry a women who trains, so what difference does that really make

Also, he says the only thing he could do about 'laws' like that is to murder the warlords and take their children/trainees? under his wing and I guess he thinks he would have to do that for every camp that does that but honestly, I think just doing it once or twice would send a powerful enough message to discourage other warlords from being misogynistic. And he wouldnt have to raise all these children all by himself either, Im sure he could get the help of a few non-sexist men or even, gasp, some women. Like those priestesses living in that library Im sure some of the ones that have already recovered from their trauma somewhat wouldnt mind teaching some boys about the harm that misogyny does

Okay so the blood rite is called a Blutritual [blood ritual] in german which is a little confusing because a ritual is a pretty specific thing and I dont think the blood rite is that specific thing but whatever, it sounds cool enough

Ive said this before, I am not a Tamlin girlie, at best I prefer him to Rhysand, and I dont like or trust Rhysand at all, but imagine hearing that tragic story about how their families killed each other, leaving them as the only survivors and being like "I cant believe Tamlin killed Rhysands family!!" especially when its like, the only person Feyre actually knows Tamlin killed is Rhysands dad who sucked ass, its not exactly a great loss

I feel like i had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things in this chapter that I couldnt write down because theyre these abstract half-thoughts, so I think I'll let those marinate until theyre full thoughts and share them with you at some later date

[sable-skies]

I wanna see what you have to say about horses :3

the little horse girl in my heart just screamed something between a "YIPPPIEEEE" and a "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO"

okayokaoykaoyayao i dont even know where to start uhh huh dhfisgdf

It's actually been a few years since I've interacted with a horse! I used to majorly be into them as a kid, hell probably before I got into anything else i was The Horse girl in my school/grade (and got picked on for it but who gives a FUCK those people SUCKED anyway) and i just. never shut up about them

I had a shit ton of books about horses and various breeds, my entire room looked like a horse shrine, the whole nine yards was just. Honse. and looking back im glad I had that growing up, that my mom indulged me on my first major interest and had tried to get me into horse riding lessons a few times! but alas, the 2008 recession hit my mom hard and i had no idea at the time.

Its funny actually because a lot of people around me growing up forgot I was a super big horse nerd because I got all quiet and into other things and such that I stopped talking about them as much, but again, that little horse girl in my heart is ready to pretty much at any time just give me the sleeper agent activation code word and I'm gone brother

I think my favorite example of people not knowing I was a horse kid was back in high school when I picked up a friend of mine, who was also a major horse girlie, (her mom would let her walk in negative degree weather and i wasnt letting that happen) she had been watching a video on her phone and it reflected in the window. and without any hesitation i went "tinker horse?" and she whipped her head around and looked at me in shock like "how did you know??"

the answer of how I knew is because thats one of my favorite horse breeds out there. because im a dork and i never forgot its name (technically i knew it by its old name with the slur in it, look it up if you need to) but regardless: i knew this mf from a mile away

These are tinker horses btw!! Big draft breeds with feathery legs / feet, long manes, and a big impressive build. Honestly as I've gotten older I think my preference in horse breeds has shifted to the draft kind, which is funny because as a kid I would tell you something like a quarter horse was my favorite. (though all horse breeds are good, its kinda like dog breeds in terms of discussion tho just. which ones you like to look at or like interacting with)

as for other favorites, i also really enjoy shires, Friesian, Andalusians, Tennessee walkers, american paints, and a whole lot more!

thats mostly all about like, nostalgic memories and some breed talk though, i dont actually keep up with current horse media or any sort of discussion, so I don't have any comments on lifestyles, conditions, how they're handled, etc. again, i'm really out of the horsesphere as of now and I doubt I'll get much back into it in life, seeing as its such an expensive thing to be into.

but generally: i like horses, i think they're fun creatures and i like to think of them as bigger (and potentially more dangerous) dogs. if i get a chance to interact with one in a good setting i tend to take it, and i usually walk away happy on the basis of "i got to pet a horse thats gonna make my WHOLE week", because honestly I'm not big on riding them anymore, i just like being around them.

but yea thats. some thoughts. oh my god i typed way too much

[pegaace]

Analysis on Witch from Mercury, Colonialism, The Tempest, and Caliba(r)n

Okay I know this is my first post ever but I was tryna find somewhere to put my thoughts after seeing a bunch of people everywhere slander Caliban and why that is not it and how my boi is innocent, good actually. For qualifications I did an undergrad lit class that covered The Tempest like 2 years ago so that's fine right (apologies to my profs if I fuck any of this up)

Okay so for starters yes by now everyone knows WfM is The Tempest, Prospera is Prospero (or Prospera actually, there was a 2010 film adaptation that had the gender switch already), Aerial is Ariel, etc etc. So therefore Caliban has to be this villainous, "monstrous" creature right?

Haha no sit down cos no that would be boring. (and also kinda racist as I'll explain) Notice how in the original Prospero isn't the villain of the story, not really, he's just getting revenge for being wronged years ago and trying to ship the kids together. But if recent gwitch is any indication, Prospera truly is the villain of this story, breaking hearts and stopping at nothing to destroy the Benerit group AND earth. Now I wonder which other adaptation of The Tempest has Prospero as the big bad HMMMM :thinking:

Enter Aime Cesaire and A Tempest. Written in 1969, it deals with a lot of the more unpleasant connotations of Shakespeares play. Let me lay it all out for you. So you're saying Prospero, a white dude, comes to this island, uses his western magic to overthrow the native witch (Sycorax), wrecks the land of its magic, and then enslaves her son to do his work for him, constantly insulting his appearance and intelligence? HMMMM seems pretty sus (racist and colonial) to me.

Cesaire, writing during a time of decolonial movements throughout the world, was rightfully really mad at colonizers for forcing their way upon natives with violence, and especially with the use of language to control said populations. Caliban has also been repeatedly dehumanised through previous adaptations of Shakespeares work slowly turning him from a man into a monster, not even human. This is similar to how non-european people have constantly been treated in the past.

Now like wait... Forcing communication through a set language? Dehumanisation? Colonisation of oppressed peoples? Where have we seen that before...? HMMMM

(its almost like... permet scores and gundam technology... Calibarn being free of permet links is like Caliban refusing language...)

And here's where I see the great potential of a Gundam Caliban. Gundam is certainly no stranger to decolonial movements (shoutout to my fave Gundam ZZ and the bois in Blue team and the African liberation front) and I think having Caliban as the Gundam to finally end Spacian oppression (perhaps in a sequel idk if Suletta is getting that far after bonking her mom by the end of the season) would be a great take.

As a side note, Aerial is kinda portrayed negatively in Cesaire's work for choosing to work for Prospero in exchange for their own freedom, as kind of a sellout who makes things worse and is ultimately tricked and trapped anyways and... hey! She's in a giant coffin now and Suletta is unhappier than ever! Oops.

Also like I qrted this on my twt but like its important to remember that Caliban is human too, and will respond to accordingly. They (and this might be where i disagree with @adracat a lil on their otherwise excellent posts) arent just a violent unthinking monster, thats just unfortunately how racism often portrays people of colour. If Suletta shows compassion and humanity towards Calibarn, like how she did to Aerial, and how Eri was able to connect with Lfrith in the prologue when Vanadis had failed, I'm sure she'll be able to bring Calibarn over to her side. And because they can connect so fully via human emotions and love (this is where I do agree with adra that love is the answer and key to open the door) (wooo yeah another love powered robot!! G Gundamming time) I dont think Quiet Zero will be able to stop them, as Suletta will have made the ultimate, unmediated connection between woman and machine, becoming one with it in the way Cardo Nabo had always truly hoped for. To don Gundam and live in space.

Okay sorry for the disorganised post but like one last thing I know I said it'd be nice for Calibarn to show up again in S2 but the other theory I have (which might or might not be true cos lets be real gwitch only rhymes, never copies, and i dont even know where schwarzette fits into all this [goatmom gundam my beloved i miss schwarzletta theory still]) is that the ending of A Tempest has Prospero send the girlies off as usual, but then still choose to stay on the island to fight with Caliban forever, till he can finally fully dominate him, cos racists are shit like that. This continues for a rlly long time cos his magics kinda prevent him from just dying of old age and he lives on, like a vampire sucking life from the island (wow capitalism huh) and its implied he and Caliban are just locked in this long struggle to the death until the day he finally croaks and the colonized can finally be free. Now what other gundam has an eternal struggle with fascism hmm?

idk just thought it might be cool for the gundam sisters to push suletta out of the way (maybe out of quiet zero?) whilst trapping prosperas grudge within it for all time, that would also be dramatic and neat lol. Come to think of it if Prospera does it itd be like ZZ again too lol with Haman pushing Judau away.

[fireboltsystem]

ok this is going to be an obnoxiously long ask jsyk ahead of time, i have a lot of little things to say/ask aoejrof. 1. this is our-library's main blog!! for context, since im sure youve seen us in your notifs lmao 2. related apologies for digging through so much of your blog we were really curious about you because weve been following you on sonicaspeed for a long time and we wanted to know more about you! 3. related again im about to ask a LOT of questions that youre totally free not to answer if theyre too invasive, but theyre all things were genuinely curious/confused about, so wed like to at least take the opportunity to ask! 4. i really hope you dont mind us jabbering at you like this too much alejfkfn we tend to yap ^^'

first thing were really interested in is how exactly an endogenic system works, talking as a traumagenic did (as far as we know) system, especially one thats partially endo and partially traumatic as you seem to be. in the past weve gone from negative (due to being around people who were very bitter about endogenic systems when we were first figuring ourselves out) to supporting it and knowing full well they exist but not understanding it, and wed like to go to understanding and supporting it, but thats really hard when we dont really have an example and looking things up, as always, leads nowhere.

this is of course a little more personal, but we wanted to ask about your subsystem a little, partially due to the fact that weve begun to form our own and arent totally sure how to handle them yet; i noticed a mention of a satellite subsystem within the solar subsystem? is that a nested subsystem? im both very curious, baffled, intrigued, and wanting to know in case it comes up for us, but either way, id love to know exactly how that organization works exactly!

and, um...oh, that might actually be all the questions. woopsie. overestimated that a lil, hehe. think we mightve answered some of them for ourselves as we were scrolling through your blog and then TOTALLY forgot that we didnt have as many questions as we did when we first read your pinned post. we did still manage to yap for a While though apwkrjgh hope this finds you well and all that and that you dont mind the long ask and all the notifs!!! were gonna go raid your sonic blog using our main blog to rb now lmao

🌪 - Oh snap hey! No worries about 'spam' it doesn't bother us at all lol.

Response got LONG so I'll throw it under a cut!

Endogenic systems have as wide a variety of experiences as traumagenic systems do, so describing how they "work" generally is kind of impossible KWNFWK. The only thing to keep in mind is that endogenic systems and system members form for reasons other than trauma - maybe they were born that way, maybe it's neurodivergence, maybe it's spiritual beliefs, intentional formation, or any number of other reasons! Not all endogenic systems lack trauma or even disorders - You can be a system and then experience trauma which causes problems for you later on. Or you can experience trauma that doesn't cause plurality in you, and then discover or become plural later, too! If you don't know yet about Pluralpedia, it can be confusing to navigate but has tons of info about different system origins, traumagenic and endogenic alike. Plus lots of other info about plurality as well!

We consider our system to be primarily traumagenic, but with many individual endogenic members. Most of our endo members exist as introjects and come from the process of creating or experiencing art - our brain is just naturally inclined to make headmates out of characters we connect with qkdnskcn.

As for our subsystems: Yeah, the Satellite subsystem is nested within the Solar subsystem. Team Solar consists of me (Zephyr) and everyone from my world, including my own headmates from back then. The Satellite subsystem is the Shadow I know from my world and all of his headmates that basically got carried over with him. That includes Mia - his protector and introject of his sister - and some of the Black Arms that hitched a ride. The Satellite subsystem is a classic "system-within-a-system". They experience shifting fronting patterns and stuff like that just like we do generally, sometimes cofronting/coconsciousness too. The Satellite subsystem is traumagenic, and Shadow is considered the host for them. They have protectors, persecutors, trauma holders, etc that revolve around Shadow, rather than the system as a whole or any other particular member. We think this is because they are his alters specifically!

For the most part, we use subsystems as organizational labels first, just to communicate and remember who is related or connected to who. Shared sources is usually the deciding factor for whether we lump headmates together in a subsystem or not. Headmates that are 'related' in some way tend to be more likely to be close to front for us at the same time, if that makes sense? Like loose package deals. The Satellite subsys is probably the closest thing we have to a traditional Subsystem as described by the general plural community, probably because they were a system before entering this one (and so was I actually!).

In another ask, you added the question "What are 'exomemories'?". Sometimes known as 'pseudomemories' (we don't like that term personally for reasons we'll get into), they're memories of things the body didn't experience. "Memories from outside", exo-memory. For us these can manifest as traumatic flashbacks to source moments, or positive memories of our lives before being in this system, or just basic facts about who we are and our home worlds. I have a TON of exomemories. I'm very close to source and care about it a lot! Since you follow our art blog you probably already know how much of our work is based on exomems akdnwkfsnci. We don't like using the term 'pseudomemory' for ourselves because there's nothing 'pseudo-' about them. They feel just as real as any of my memories of this life and shape who I am even more!

Hope this was interesting and/or helpful! Feel free to send more questions our way if you have any.

-Zephyr

[cheeseandbretboy]

since turns out informed consent is practiced in australia i dont really need a gd diagnosis and i hoped if i got one my mother would believe me but its been so long and ive distanced myself from her because i thought she wouldn't even speak to me, she said she will probably still stay in contact but wont accept me and will use the wrong name and pronouns forever and i dont think i can stay around her a lot if thats the case the point of therapy was that she would understand me but if its not gonna go anywhere whats the point?? ik what i want ive been thinking about this my entire life and sigh she expects me to be 100% fine after YEARS of being ignored, she knew i was having a hard time and that i was cutting myself and starving and wanting to kms but its only now when my sister brings it up she thinks its best to do it, and like, wow! it is actually too late. i got myself through all that alone and now that im stable she wants to 'explore other options'. i tried explaining conversion therapy does not work but she doesn't care. idk what to do chat! sister said to wait it out and she will probably get better but i doubt it. i dont know if i can mentally take it if she cant just respect me, i get not being supportive but just using the right prns cant be that difficult, at least TRYING?! she said i was selfish and overreacting when i said it would be difficult for me to stay in touch regularly if that was the case ughggh and i thought she was a woke liberal but even she wont use other prns or terms to refer to me (ok that i get, maybe she will when im older) but she blatantly said it's a phase for me, that being queer is a phase nowadays and i just couldnt really believe she said that. i told her why the fuck would i want to be trans for a trend if i will literally not be able to come to the country where all my family is and where im from because i'll either be killed or arrested, and she said 'exactly, you said it doesnt matter what others think so why would you medically transition' and ok she doesn't understand thats ok, i tried explaining i have dysphoria but she cut me off saying im too negative and she cant talk to me about this. 'i dont gaf about your identity, i dont want to talk about this. just shut up and keep it to urself' i am so confuse guys bc she asked that we become closer and i tell her my issues.. i do not think she actually cares for me as a sister she never did, she bullied me endlessly and blamed it on her depression (which hey fair, but thats an explanation not an excuse and i have yet to recieve an apology) mother did nothing about that just let it happen like the abuse from my dad and i was happy to give her another chance i really looked up to her but she doesnt give a fuck about me she only likes me when its easy when im not selfish and egotistical (by the way guys she called me a hypochondriac isnt that crazy??) and like sigh i kind of hoped she would support but she does not.. 'you see mother is from a different generation, but im gen z i understand you' yea and u say queerness is a trend what the fleck... i get its difficult for ur sibling to be trans its really fucking annoying and heartbreaking but oh my god! and somehow she got it in her head that i tried convincinb mother to medically transition.. I HAVENT SPOKEN TO HER ABT TRANS STUFF FOR 3 YEARS THE FLIP I HAVE NOT.. i was going to wait it out with her and see if she adjusts bc shes my sister yk! but after 'why cant you just not transition' that just shows she is not willing to hear me out and see it from my perspective.. tbh this is just cis ppl, its difficult to understand smth that u dont have, that u take for granted. sighghgghgh sm happened but im back to distancing i was just confused but everything is still bad why did i let myself get sort of hopeful she said awful things that ill never forget its her greatest fear

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas, if you're okay with it I want your advice on some things.

Okay so I know I'm queer but I'n not quite sure what my labels are. I think I might be oriented aroace (i think thats what it is??) but I'm not sure. I'm 12-16 years old and I've never had a crush on anyone. i think i'm like bisexual/bisexual oriented or something like that? but i have no clue I think people are hot and I have celebrity/fictional crushes but I've never actually like liked someone. I'm also not out so everyone i know irl thinks I'm straight

I'm not very good at making friends so I pretty much have one friend and they're my best friend. They're the best I love them very much but one thing I really don't like is every single time anything queer related comes up or they see anything they always point out i'm straight and start making fun of me for being straight and I never know what to do I really hate it. And I dont want to come out because i dont really want labels (i wouldnt mind labels but i dont want to come out as something because I'm not quite sure what i am yet) and idk i just dont.

But every single time they always have to point out i'm straight. And whenever any straight media or characters or anything like that show up they always start going like ewwww and i cant believe thats up there. And as soon as anything isn't queer they immediately hate it. And i think i'm queer idk. But like if i was or if i was cishet i would still think thats really weird because it is and idk it makes me uncomfortable that they're actively hating on people and not even in a jokey way.

And they were reading a queer book and saw the word 'cisgender' and they were immediately like omg thats you I can't believe you're cis. And I really hate that because there's nothing wrong with being cis. And literally a few months ago they didn't even know what cis meant I had to explain it to them but now they're acting like the fact i'm not trans is a negative thing.

And i just think all of this is so odd and I hate it and I don't know what to do. I really hate confrontational things like this so no way I'll have the courage to tell them to stop because wtf?? But whenever they start saying bad things about a cis person I always say there's nothing wrong with that but they don't seem to get it.

Anyways those parts were kind of a vent rather than advice because I know a lot of the time you tell people to set boundaries but I hate talking about my feelings and stuff and I don't know if i'd be able to do that. But if you have anything else then please tell me because idk.

Also I'm so so so confused about my sexuality and I know I don't need labels but i still want to know or at least have an idea so if you have any idea then idk please mention it idk

Sorry that was really long I have more stuff but I'll send it later because I don't want to bother you too much. I always want to send you asks for advice because I feel so much better afterwards but I never really get around to it. Anyways no pressure you don't have to reply to this but if you do please don't answer this ask but instead make it a post and adress it to me because I know some people on tumblr who view your blog and idk. Anyways you're always so kind and thoughtful to everyone else so remember to show love to yourself and take care no pressure <3

-default anon

Hi!

Yeah, I think sometimes people act this way as a joke but then get carried away and it's turned into a Thing. Instead of confronting them, could you maybe play stupid and ask questions. "Oh, what's wrong with cis people? What's wrong with straight people? When did I tell you I was straight? Oh I met a really nice cis person once." Etc. Like question their actions in a nonconfrontational way.

Sadly, I can't just pick labels for you <3 I do want to reassure you though that sometimes it just takes time and self-discovery to figure it out. It's okay not to know and it's okay to figure it out as you go! You don't have to already have picked out the gender you want to marry before you even go on a date. You're young, and you're allowed to (for lack of a better word) experiment.

[listenleven2]

Hi sweetie, i dont know if this is too much and if its a safe space to ask, but i would appreciate it so much if you could help me.

I have known loas for a couple of years now, i think i have consciously manifested a couple of things in the trials and errors (like my phone, pc, food). But i still "struggle" with the "bigger" things, and being consistant about it. Or More like, it hasnt click LOAS completely yet or sometimes doubting arises.

I want to ask about how to revise things/trauma/problems that had already happend.

I have acted/done some things (this past months) that im not proud of, because of feelings of loneliness, stress and problems, and i feel gross about myself to have acted that way. I have been dealing with guilt for a couple of months by now; and i just want for those things to have never existed and erased them from my memory.

How do i do it? I know that everything is possible because some people have even revised something as big as death.

Do i say things like "___ never happend", "this person never existed and that never happend", etc?. If negative thoughts/the old story arise in my head, do i keep affirming/stating to myself that that is not true and never happend?

Bc Thats what i have been stating to myself this couple of weeks and feeling better.

i want to better myself as a person and better my life, but i also feel: am i a bad person for wanting to revise those things?

I overthink and feel bad, and i just feel exhausted of feeling like this.

I know the feelings stem more of me not staying true to my character/myself and judging myself, but still i think i deserve to rewrite my past, i just want those things gone. To have never existed/happend.

Hi! First, Im very proud of you for understanding your wrongs about LOA. It's important to acknowledge your faults especially since you've been here a long time. Second yes you can do anything. Anything you want as many as things at you want. Now since you've been here a few years I want to tell you that if you know everything is possible apply your knowledge. I mean don't depend on others this is your life take control get out of the victim mindset. You already know everything. This is not to say you can't send me an ask you still can, just put tumblr down for a while and apply what I know you know. Now that we established that what do we take away from it? That of course you can do anything. Revise anything. No it doesn't make you a bad person. If you want it gone by all means manifest them away your the creator of your reality. You get to pick and choose. If you think revising your life makes you a bad person it doesn't. If you think revising your life makes you a good person then it does.

Now onto your question. You can do it as simple as affirming it never happened and being happy that you manifested it gone. But it might set your nerves up bc of ur limiting beliefs. Try shadow work. I want you to do a revising meditation and affirm to yourself that it never happened. No matter what the 3d shows you be delusional. If the 3d shows you opposite no it didn't it always conforms to you. While you sleep listen to a reprogramming audio. I'm going to add more methods and insight to this anon later bc I'm very busy right now but I'll reblog this with further answers later.

[honeytonedhottie]

hi honey! I’ve been binge reading most of your posts and I’ve noticed you’ve always mentioned about “thinking before you speak” and even though I feel like it should be a pretty straight forward tip, I just struggle with it. I don’t really think before I speak a lot and most of the things I say are just out of impulse with zero consideration, it’s so bad my friend has called me out for a lot of it and I always somehow make like my class groups that I sit at go silent because I said something that was so awkward or out of pocket that everyone goes quiet. it made me realize how bad it was for me to control what I say and it makes me feel terrible and insecure about myself. I don’t like the things that I say and I most of the time never intend to say them, it’s just this never ending crisis of just wanting some self control but getting consumed by the desperate want for attention, for someone to just laugh at whatever nonsense I’m spewing. I don’t even like my own personality and I really want to change it not for other people but for myself 😓😓 I always think of just dropping my friends so I can focus more on myself so I can become better but I always end up being too scared because I’m selfish and think that if something were to happen and I needed their help, I wouldn’t be able to turn to them and I’d be left alone dealing with things myself (and tbh I don’t want to be alone).

This is a pretty negative post so I’m really sorry for that 😭😭 I’m just going through a midlife crisis and I want to change myself for the better but the things I do just don’t really get along with that idea which makes me struggle a lot. Thank you if you read this ask and give advice, if you want, the next time I make another ask, it’ll be a more positive update. I love all your posts so much and I really do wish you good health. 💗💗

hi anonie 💗💗 i'll do my best to give u a thorough answer and i wish u good health too.

i think that if ur habit to just be negative/say negative things effects ur friendships and ur relationship with urself then thats a sure sign that its time for a change and its good that u also see that <3

at the end of the day u need to take back power over ur mind and remind urself that YOU are in control of ur thoughts, a controlled and sustained imagination is the key. so if u control what u think -> u control what u say.

reward urself when u get an intrusive thought and dont act on it. and PRACTICE anonie, i recommend meditation because it rly puts me in control of my thoughts and emotions.

as for the second portion of ur post, if dropping ur friends and focusing on urself will help you then DO SO. dont let the fear of being alone hinder with ur self growth. doing so will help u grow as a person and become the person that u wanna be. i rly recommend dealing with ur own behavior and taking accountability by giving urself the time and space and resources that u deserve to change

i send all my love anonie and you've got this💗💗💗

[mysticarts]

Hi! It's me again lol.

I can wanna show you my old concept idea backstory my lmk oc Ren if you remember her, my mind can't really decide whether I should bring it back or make a new one from scratch, or either combine them making something.. Something.

Old concept:

•Ren wasn't originally a shape-shifter demon, instead a created child of LBD, basically a puppet. Imagine Genshin impact where Ei creates sacaramouche. their species is the same as her mother.

•Ren has a negative relationship towards LBD, make sense because LBD is quite obsessed making the world perfect and as any means using your child like a weapon doesn't make their relationship look healthy at all.

•She wasn't supposed to be a girl but a boy. However they still go by the pronouns of he/They.

• Ren's original name is Xuefei but since I dont know any Chinese name and I am outright scared I might anger lietrally anyone here, so I scrapped it..

•Personality? I kinda base him as the opposite as Mk since his supposed to be the one will directly find a way to kill Mk. (Ho boy my old oc seems so brutal-)

•Speaking of Opposites, there's an confusing idea I did where Fei (That's I'll be calling him now. Aka the old Ren.) Is related to Mk, dunno what old me was thinking but I am recalling because LBD founded some strands of Mk and just did random magic and le behold my oc began existing.

•after Fei left from LBD cruel treatment towards him, I felt this is lazy so his backstory is inspired by Wanderer from genshin impact.. I have nothing to say other than I don't like this concept very much.. Well half of it.

Current Concept: (It's still in draft)

•I scraped everything about Ruifei and changed them entirely to what they are in present. Ren remains a villian but I guess chaotic neutral.

•Ren's personality is now based on Rocky from Lackadaisy and Double Trouble from She-ra. Trouble maker but less reckless unlike Rocky.. (*cough* I may not have too included Furina form GI, yk being flamboyant and overconfident-)

•Again Ren is a shape-shifter demon, with having ability to create illusions and mind controlling. Although they can't fully do mind controlling very much.

•Ren's used to be a human her former name was Genji Hua, she lives in a poor family and not so good village. Due to a plague happening she died and became a ghost/spirit wandering the world centuries.

•In short she wasn't able to go to celestial, and uh may have strike a deal with LBD wanting to be alive just so she could see her family again.

•I have another confusing concept where Ren aka Genji is LBD's puppet who ran away, eventually becoming a shape-shifter demon. And yes they have fully white hair in her true form hence why she activate a glamour.

•Yin and Jin does not know the whole preordeal of Ren between LBD only Ren's fear of coldness, I forgot to mention but their scared of coldness due to being trapped In LBD's prescene there stuck somewhere a room that's ridiculously cold, being stucked too with blue strings attached their bodies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thats all you can comment a feedback what you think, take your time though for answering this.

Have a good day/Night ^^

first off, im really thankful that ur comfortable telling me this!

I say, since both of these concepts are pretty well made, to mix up certain ones together.

For example, keep that Ren/Genji made a deal with the LBD to be human again, but keep her still young so when her family dies, LBD becomes a mother figure and turns Ren into a weapon.

To put it in short: take the best parts you like of each concept, and put them together!

[taegularities]

Rid you're crazyyyyyyyyyyy

just finished cmi11 IM FUCKING CRYING holy shit that was so good oh god

first of all the conversation between oc and her mom made me cry so hard- it hit home for me, as a girlie with mommy issues, that part felt so real to me. Oc's courage to stand up for herself like that and tell her how much she hurt her own daughter is something i dont have in me. It broke my fucking heart, that yearning feeling, i cant believe you put that specific feeling into words rid [are u part of the mommy issues community as well🧐 or are u just that amazing, a true fucking artist (i saw that anon calling you the beyonce of ff and i agree 100%)] idk how to describe my feelings rn, that part definitely left a mark in my heart, ill never forget it

second the domesticity in these two dorks oh my goddddd they're driving me crazy, theyre so cute and in love and im in love with them and i want to cry bc i want what they have but bc irl men suck the hopeless romantic in me is gonna have to live through fanfics for the rest of my life and that makes me fucking miserable but bless the fanfic gods like you that keep my soul alive, idk what id do without you

lastly that scareeeeee oh god like i knew itd be a negative but it had my heart beating out of my ass (idk if thats a phrase) but the way they handled it oh god, the emotionsssssss the fears and insecurities, just reminded me that theyre human, even if theyre the most fucking adorable characters ever, theyre still human and i loved seeing such nuance. You really are doing an amazing job rid, not only writing the story, scenes and dialogue, but also the way you write these characters in such depth, its so fucking refreshing to see.

i want to kiss your beatiful head that holds your beautiful brain, seriously ive never ever been so enchanted by a piece of writing before (and i read so much fanfiction its like an addiction) you are by far my strongest fix. For real tho, your writing, and particularly cmi has touched me deeply and I'll never ever forget it. So thank you

Rest assured and stop doubting yourself bc youre seriously incredible and so fucking talented. Now rest up and take care of yourself, i imagine its not easy to birth such work (i mean 36k you monster, i loved every second of it but damn girl take a break before you burn your brain out) but no srsly i hope youre eating well, sleeping well and doing things that make you happy and relaxed. You deserve all the best of this world rid🫂🩷

sincerely ~ 🐼✒️anon

panda hi hello oh my gosh, sorry for being late, but you mentioned so many important things, so i wanted to take my time HELLO!! never stop sending these lovely af reviews 🥺

i know... she really is inspiring bc the courage to stand up against someone you feared for so long is admirable. i'm part of both the mommy and daddy issues community even though it's gotten a lot better lol like i wonder why it's such a recurring theme in my fics 🤣 i'm so sorry you could relate to oc :( but i'm glad you liked the scene so much.

and ahhh the domesticity 🤧 it's been so so fun and relaxing to write!! real life romance can be hard to find, yeah :') so i guess writing these scenes and chapters has been extra cathartic (although it drives me crazy, too — the next chapter has been making me so jejfhdjjsgd), but here's to finding a cmi jk irl soon :') much more to come!!!🕯️

the scare was one hell of a ride 🥺 i cried a lot!! and even i have been realising lately that i sometimes try to make my characters flawless, but that's actually not what i wanna go for. i always snap out of it and then try to make them flawed bc they're human, and i think the cmi couple, despite how endearing they are, is definitely vv flawed :') thank you for pointing that out 🥺

your strongest fix?? girl PLEASE ILL CRY 😭💔 i love you so much, you're so sweet for saying that and seeing me in such a way, pls i want you here forever <3 i rested a lot after cmi11! but ngl, cmi11.5 almost burned me out ksjdhehd gonna rest even more after that hehe. tyssssm, i hope you're well and healthy and i appreciate you so much for your kindness, reassurances and love for this series/me. love you so much 🤍