#thats a bit too messed up even for him lmao

[baesooraya]

Welp, the story of my Durge looks kinda like this for now:

Father? Bhaal

'Little sister'? Orin

Ex-boyfriend aka they dated until her little sister gave her amnesia by rearranging her brain matter? Gortash

Current lover Astarion: '...and I thought my family was fxcked up'.

[gilverrwrites]

Something cute and smutty with either Tim Drake or Roy ?

AND: What about a one bed trope for Tim pls??

Dream a little dream of me

Tim Drake/Reader, ≈1.8K AN: I don't know if theres such a phrases as 'porn first, questions later' but thats what this is lmao. I'm glad theres an audience for Tim, cause as much as I love the other Robins (wink wink Dick), as a bisexual 90s kid, Tim really is my Robin, ya know? CWs: Somnophilia (but not really), dry humping, intercrural sex/thigh job, hand job, Petnames: Baby, sweetheart Tropes: One bed, friends to lovers, porn with feelings. GN!Reader

Sleeping beside you is neither new nor unusual for Tim. You’d been close friends for years, he’d crashed in your bed after many a patrol, you’d had film or study nights at the manor which always ended with you hogging his bed sheets, and in more recent years you’d huddled together on the cramped mattress he called a bed in the lower deck of his boat on multiple occasions. It had always been so natural and innocent, so why was this hotel bed any different? Well, because his budding, inappropriate crush on you had grown in the time since you’d last shared a comforter; Tim had been having not-so-innocent dreams about you.

Dreams where he got to touch, tease, and taste every inch of your exposed skin until you’re a babbling, pleading mess. Dreams where he silenced your breathy cries and begs by telling you to “be good baby”, spreading your legs, and running the tip of his cock along your entrance. Where you look at him with those big, dreamy eyes of yours right up until it’s too much, until he’s bottomed out inside of you and you can’t help but throw your head back, calling out his name as you dig your nails into his back.

“That feels... so… good.” The sound of your voice calls out to him, but your dream self is in no position to be speaking so coherently.

Wait, dream?

His mind is fuzzy as he wakes, still heavy with sleep, part of his brain tries desperately to clutch onto the fleeting imagery in his head until he realises two very important things;  

1. Your body is pressed against his. You’re turned away from him, but he can still feel your warmth, the pressure of your back to his chest, your ass to his… crotch. 2. His ‘crotch’ is rock hard.

Despite all instinct telling him to immediately pull away, he waits. Concerned his sudden movement might cause you to stir, he slows himself. Forcing his body to hold back so he can remove himself in increments. Just a little bit, and then a bit more, and more? He swears he’s doing it, swears he’s at least half a foot away from where he’d been upon waking, but you’re still pushing against him, still rolling your hips.

“Tim~”

It’s at this moment Tim has a third, pivotal realisation.

3. You’re grinding on him.

The sound of Tim’s low voice whispering your name against the shell of your ear slowly coaxs you awake. Every warm breath against your skin sends a rush of heat to your already aching sex. You’d been having such a peaceful, steamy dream in which your best friend, and secret crush; Tim had been tenderly rocking his cock into you from behind. As you take in the hotel room and the hotness of Tim’s body spooning into you, you can’t tell if you’re awake or still dreaming.

“Can you feel that?” His hushed voice pierces the quietness of the room and you’re not sure what he’s talking about until he surges forward, further pressing the hardness of his clothes cock into the curve of your ass.

“Yes.” You murmur, only intending to answer his question but your sleeply lust-ridden psyche keeps talking. “Don’t stop, I like it.”

“Yeah?” He’s so grateful you’re not looking at him in that moment, otherwise, you’d see the undeniable redness currently rushing to his cheeks. Even in the dark of the night, he’s sure it’s glowing through. “I think we’ve been humping each other in our sleep.”

“I’m sorry.” The fear of his rejection is immediately thrown out when you feel his lips on your pulse point, but you have to ask anyway. “Do you want to stop?”

“No, no, god no.” He trails soft kisses along the side of your neck, each one growing sloppier until he finds and fixates on your jaw for far too short a time. “You have no idea how many times I’ve fantasised about this. About you. I want you so bad.”

“I want you too, Tim.” A million and one thoughts run through his head in that moment. How much time had the two of you wasted skirting around the subject? What does this mean for your future and your friendship? The only thing he doesn’t think of as he absent-mindedly ruts against you is the one you ask. “Do you have any protection?”

“I have my Red Robin suit in my case.” It’s a dumb joke he can’t help but make, you laugh anyway and he thinks he might love you for it.

“No, but that’s okay. We can make this work.” You hear the snap of your waistband hitting your hip before you feel it. Tim had playfully pulled it taught before letting go to pull down his boxers. Getting the point, you take his cue, shimmying out of your own underwear just in time for Tim to reattach himself to your back and press his open mouth to your shoulder. “Spread your legs baby.”

As you do, Tim slides his cock between them. You wish you’d turned the light on so you could get a better look, but no force on earth could pry you away from him now. Understanding his plan, you don’t wait to be told to close your legs again, engulfing his length with the soft skin of your inner thighs and slowly beginning to rock your hips.

Tim reached over your body, grazing his deft fingers around your waist and across your stomach. A whine escapes your lips as he dips lower to rub along the length of your arousal, his cock twitches between your legs. Knowing it's so close makes you feel empty, makes you ache to feel him deep inside you, makes the tension in your core coil even more.

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re dripping.” He can hear the wonderment in his own voice as he glides his thumb around you. In response you clench your thighs even harder around his cock, making him groan into your neck.

It isn’t long before your grinding hard and fast around his dick, gripping his arm as you get lost in the moment. The combined sensations feels so good, and you can’t get enough.

Neither can Tim. He could never have dreamed that the reality would feel so good. He’s in awe of the way your body moves, of the pornographic noises you’re making for him. He can barely focus. He wants to hold on longer, wants to bask in your warmth and scent for as long as possible but your merciless rhythm and the feel of your thighs around his throbbing cock has him chasing his climax way too soon.

“Are you close?” He sputters. You answer with a string of incomprehensible whimpers and a weak nod. He isn’t even in you, and you’re already drunk on your best friend. You’d be ashamed if you had the capacity to care in that moment. “Come with me?”

It’s a question, not a command. This is a partnership, he wants you to feel connected, not controlled and that has your toes curling.

Simultaneously your thrusting becomes strained, and more erratic as his pumping grows faster, and sloppier, both of you getting lost in your highs but still determined to ride out the other, filling the room with deep, ragged breaths until you’re shuddering in his arms, savouring every last remnants of pleasure. The way his strong hands cup your body has you feeling safe in your post-orgasm euphoria.

It isn’t until you feel the moisture of your combined cum seeping into the fabric below you that you remember there’s a world outside of you and him. You sit up simultaneously, Tim reaches for the bedside lamp and is stunned by the sight of your sweat-sheened skin and heavy eyes when he turns back. Completely unaware that you’re thinking the same thing about his flushed cheeks and fluffy bedhead.

You gesture to the puddle you’re currently half-sat in and joke; “The hotel cleaners are going to hate us.”

Before you can exit the bed, Tim is on his feet and rushing to the ensuite. He returns a moment later with a roll of tissues and a damp cloth. You’ve rolled over, face down on his side of the bed in an attempt not to spread the fluids even more and he gets to work wiping the cum from your leg in slow, circular motions. It shouldn’t take this long, you both know it, he’s just enjoying the moment.

“That was really…” You’d wanted to fill the silence, but now you’re not sure how to finish, you don’t want to scare him away with your excitement, but you want him to know how good he made you feel. “Really wow.”

“Really wow.” He repeats with a teasing snicker, dodging when you reach out to playfully smack his shoulder. “What? What? It was wow.”

He’s teasing. With a 147 IQ, he knows a better word than wow, but he’s choosing to repeat yours, tone and all. It’s not like he hasn’t messed with you before, and you’ve always been able to dish it back, but now feels different. Now is different.

“So, I take it we’re not just friends anymore?” You ask as he climbs over you to work on the wet patch. Eventually, he finds a position kneeling at the bottom of the bed, and you roll over once more, now seated and positioned to watch him.

“Um, no.” He coughs, not to clear his throat but to prolong his time to think of an answer. Your gaze is making him nervous. He doesn’t know what you want him to say, doesn’t want to come on too strong and ruin your friendship, but he also doesn’t want to seem too lax, to make you think he’s just using you or that he’s not interested in something more than friendship. “Friends definitely don’t do that.”

“So, what are we?” You push, not missing the way his adams-apple bobs as he swallows back his nerves.

“I don’t know.” His chest immediately grows tight at the hurt look that spreads across your face. Fuck it, now or never. “But whatever we are, I’m yours.”

Your expression doesn’t immediately change, and he worries he’s misread your reaction. Assumed that you want him the way he wants you.

“If you want me that is.” He continues, trying to save face.

“Of course, I want you, Tim.” He hadn’t realised how tense the conversation was making him until he heard those magic words. In seconds you’re face to face with him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pulling him close to offer your body as comfort. You’ve always been able to read and react to him so well, like you were programmed for him. “You can be mine, if I can be yours.”

Then he feels your lips pucker against his hairline, and despite having climaxed between your legs only minutes earlier, he’s suddenly more nervous than he’s ever been. Gently, you drag your lips down his face, leaving kisses along his brow line, his cheekbones, and his jowls until you're inches from his own lips.

Your eyes dart back and forth between his own eyes and his mouth, he licks his lips in preparation for yours and then you’re on him, lips locked, tangled in each other’s arms.

There’s a drying stain waiting to be cleaned, and a long day ahead of you both tomorrow, but right now none of that matters.

[hijackalx]

GALE NSFW ALPHABET

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

gale will insist on doing the clean-up himself. like cleaning up both u and him. it's just his gentlemanly nature 😇 i think he also will ramble about stuff completely unrelated while doing it too 😹😹 like while he's wiping off ur face or something with a warm rag he'll be saying shit like "hm. i wonder where tara is, haven't seen her in a while. probably off eating pigeons, i suppose" STOPP IM IN LOVE WITH HIM

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

i think he's pretty proud of his shoulders. they have good width to them and idk they just look nice and stronk 💪🏻 as for his partner, he is a thigh man. he lovvessss thighs. will kiss and squeeze them while u sit on his face. also, if ur AFAB, he will not ever hesitate to grab a titty 🤭

C = Cum (anything to do with cum,

basically)

not getting any specific places where he likes to cum. i think he will cum anywhere as long as it's on/in u. waitttt he probably does like to cum in ur mouth doe. and maybe to smear it on ur lips a little like some lip gloss 😊 LMAO

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

lowkey think he's a little bit of a voyeur ooohhh nasty boy. idk like i think hes into watching/hearing other ppl fuck but he is deeply ashamed of this so dont ever bring it up 😹😹

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

dawg. nobody can convince me his first wasnt mystra. sooo.... not SUPER experienced in terms of like... numbers...... but him and mystra was doing some freak shit....... i just know it.......

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

ugh this is a good question. i think he likes cowgirl. u have to hold his hands tho and make eye contact with him or just forget it gurl 🙄✋ he likes to admire ur body and watch u use him to get off

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

okkk gale can be a little silly sometimes but are we surprised ?? HES ALWAYS SILLY !! i think he switches between serious and goofy. he takes mess-ups and embarrassing moments pretty well and will never make u feel bad over them 🥺 like he'll use humor to make u feel comfortable and safe I NEED HIMMMMM FUCK

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

yeah hes pretty hairy. i dont think his hair is EXTREMELY thick tho. like he has fine, kind of curly kind of straight body hair? not a lot on his chest but he does have a happy trail, pubes, ARMPIT HAIR 🤤, and leg and forearm hair. i think it looks rlly good on his forearms too eugh.......

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he can be really romantic if he wants to (which is most of the time) but like i said he can also be unserious. but that doesnt make it less romantic i guess ???? anyway yeah he'll even plan everything out. like the type of dude to light candles and lay rose petals and shit 😹😹 probably likes to have some wine beforehand to get yall in the mood better too

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he will but i dont think he does often. if ur an option he prefers that. if not theres like a 50/50 chance he'll beat off. lowkey feel like he might debate on whether or not its too much work and if he should just go to sleep instead LMAO WAIT PAUSSEEEEEE MAGE HAND ????? yeah...... yeah gurl. if hes feeling lazy thats how its gonna go. prolly will close his eyes and pretend its ur hand

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

normally somewhere secluded like in a room together on a bed but if hes feeling spicy then somewhere with the possibility of getting caught 😏 maybe on a balcony somewhere or IN THE FUCKING SKY

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

i think hes pretty sensitive and in tune to teasing glances or accidentally-on-purpose touches. wordddsss too bro. loves dirty talk so much. especially if ur the one to talk dirty to him. ugh ok gemini vibes yall? yes or yes? anyway whisper things in his ear or say suggestive things in front of other ppl, like innuendo shit 😹

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

uhhh... umm.... uh

jk he wont do any noncon roleplay or anything like that. not sure if theres anything else tho 😭

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

wants to give and receive but has a preference for giving head like its probably his fav sex act 😭😭 yall know hes good af at it too and probably says nasty shit while hes doing it

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he'll adjust depending on what u want. but if ur riding him he likes when ur more sensual that way he can admire ur body a little better

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

doesnt seem like a quickie guy to me. like i said he likes to plan it out most days.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

😐

yes. hes a freak yall

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

if he does most of the work then he wont want to go another round but if its u then he probably will. i think it just depends on his mood too. if ur not satisfied yet tho he will use mage hand or projection gale to help 😹😹

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

i think he likes to tease a generous amount. he can dish it out but cant take it tho he gets flustered pretty fast lol

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

not extremely loud but will moan/whimper whatever. hes not afraid to make noise like not ashamed at all but i dont see him being obnoxious lol. mostly just talks tho LMAO

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

hes pretty much always thinking nasty but not always horny. he just like me fr. prolly not trying to smash often tho cuz he likes to plan ahead and make everything perfect. will fuck maybe 3 days a week unless ur really raring to go 😭

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

will prolly catch up on a book afterwards for a while before going to sleep. this is so comforting to me tho like what? imagine being all fucked-out and snuggy while ur bae reads their lil book and looks after u while u sleep.... need

[aryxchse]

Well now you’ve offered please can we have the frank nsfw headcanons too 🙏🙏

frank zhang nsfw headcanons (aged up)

warnings ; nsfw, cursing and cute frank overload

a / n ; u guys r so sneaky fr

- alright be ready for the cuteness because this man is not rough

- the most hot thing that he does is turning his some body parts into an animal parts that would give you pleasure

- like idk making his tongue a snake tongue or whatever

- he's big

- like, wtf big

- he could rip you apart if he wanted to

- but like, we're talking about frank

- he would fucking rip his own dick apart to not hurt you LMAO

- no matter how many times you guys did it, you still can't get use to him

- and he has insane stamina like he doesn't get tired and can do it till morning

- frank doesn't have anything in mind, he just wants to give you pleasure and you can use him however you like

- whimpers %100

- he's also shy and like, tries to hide himself into you

- frank. trying to hide himself. in your tiny petite body. lmao.

- sometimes his mars genes shows up and he goes hard a bit

- like, fastens his speed and forgets for a moment that he's HUGE

- but... who are you to complain??

- first time he saw the bulge in your belly he got panicked

- but you were like: babes thats hot wtf

- he puts his hand on your stomach and feels the bump and hes like: omg am i really that big

- easly picks you up

- like you're just some couple of grapes for him

- my size kink is showing up m sorry

- he likes fingering you

- and you like him fingering you

- EVEN HIS FINGERS ARE JR DICKS BRO

- anyways

- every sex with frank feels like first time all over again

- like you're some virgin who's afraid to have sex

- everytime he's gentle like the first time and im not joking

- "frank, harder honey. please." "you.. sure?" "FRANK."

- he worships the ground you walk on so when he cums in you he almost prayed you lol

- mars genes fr

- you guys def broke something

- probably bed and headboard

- also a headboard gripper because out of pleasure he can't help but hold onto something and he can't control his power

- so he doesn't want to hurt you

- instead he hurts headboard

- like that one scene from twilight were the bed is no longer a bed and just a mess

- no matter how much you try, you can't take him in your mouth fully

- but he doesn't complain, he can cum just from you licking his tip

- suprisingly he doesn't cum early, can't even if he wanted to

- and that leads to riding your orgasm

- and he's so sweet about it like: "i know baby, you're sensitive and im so sorry, but i need to go on a little bit more sweetheart, please, can i?"

- LIKE IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU STFU OMG

- anyways i love frank, i love big guys, i love ares (the myth one) and i love guys who are related to ares. every ares kid is my boo, love u all

[briefpeachdinosaur]

dazai and flirting

NSFW Minors do not interact. Mention of suicide ( It's dazai ) And this is just an Observation of how dazai flirts with women, why and when.

It's your girl Mina Posting I'm nervous-

•I know it seems silly But when dazai flirts most of the time and what we have seen so far, is that he always wants something from the women he flirts with.

• It is either related to go and Do a double suicide with him or that he Plans something ahead already.

•for example when higuchi was there for the first time, he flirted because he noticed there was something wrong and decided to spy on her. And he was right.

• or with the nurse, I know there is a big discussion how he and the nurse must have had Sex but I think he was A too injured to do it ( without him being hurted ) and B it didn't (at least for me) came across like they did it lol.

• Anyways I think he used his charm on her to get his Phone so he could do a call.

•LMAO he always becomes a Poet when he flirts LOL.

• He ALWAYS makes poems.

• dazai knows how to Deal with women.

• he is skilled in flirting lets not forget that he does has one night stands (comformed by chuuya)

• but I do believe that he respects women.

• he never flirts or ask for a double suicide with yosano or any of the women in his work place, I think it Shows how much he respects them.

• (I'm also not saying he dosen't respect women whom he ask to take there lifes with him btw)

•( if he would offer ME a double suicide bye guys i would have said yes)

• but we are all like this that we have extra respect for some and not for some others.

• if however he ask a women to make a double suicide with him and they turn him down he dosen't pressure him. He might be like " but a double suicide dosen't work alone Belladonna " but let go after that. ( as we saw with him and the waitress lol)

• I also think he notice If a women is not into him in that way he'll not pressure her or try to Manipulate her into doing smt she Dosen't want to.

•I think he notice right away if she is into him or not.

• so like he walkes into a Bar and sees how a women looks at him he knows.

•when he Talks to her he knows if she really wants to or not.

• i think he is the typ of guy who likes someone who really wants to sleep with him just like how he wants to sleep with them.

•I think if he sees a women being harrased he probaly do something. He is not an ass just a big tease who likes to annoy people.

•i also don't think he would try his shoot to them after helping them ( he isn't an idiot as we all know he is super smart)

• i think he has a normal Sex drive.

•now lets go to the suicidal part.

• I think we all overlook how it is very selfish and greedy from him to want a women to take her life with him.

•he is basiclly asking to throw her life away for him and her future with that. I think if she changed her mind he be like : what serious ?

• I think he would let a big shign pass his mouth and be like : well It's your choice after all...

•tbh I think he, deep down, he know he can't die bc he promised oda that he will do something that will help people around him.

•I think dazai has a big disconnetion to himself, aka his feelings and the World and humans in generell.

•I think thats why he dosen't see a good point in living cuz he is so disconnected from the World and he Dosen't understand why or perhaps Dosen't even know.

• not to mention the mafia really messed with him and his moralitys. I know he himself is already messed up but imagine he grew up in the ADA like ranpo.

•I'm quit sure he would have been a bit different then.

• Perhaps deep down he dosen't wants to Die but he sees this as the only chance to something better. To be free from all this pain he dosen't even get.

• Dazai dosen't realize that the people he cares for also care for him equally.

• but have you noticed whenever he tried to end his life it was bc he Planed smt ahead ALL THE TIME ( ok maybe almost all the time)

• idk if it was intentional but when he jumped into that Lake he met Tiger boy remembere ?

• Or how he was there durning the investigation of the death of that women where he told Tiger boy that ranpo dosen't has an ability acually.

• now this was intensional, when he, like I said, ask higuchi to kill hersef with him.

• or why he was so overly friendly with Nobuko Sasaki.

(I read that sasaki was more dangerous in the manga )

• He KNEW there was smt wrong

• Poor kunikida tho...

[heartshapedbubble]

Hi can I request Andrew, Luca, William, Wu Chang and Antonio reacting to having an s/o that can crush a watermelon between her thighs.

this req made me shit bricks when i first received it in august LMFAOOOO this was so fun to write anon thank you so much for this/gen

andrew, luca, william, wu chang and antonio reacting to their s/o crushing a watermelon between their thighs🕸⚡🏈☂️🎻

andrew kreiss🕸

he is... confused to say the least

when you first did it he jumped out of fear thinking you hurt yourself by doing so

this man would probably burst into flames after one pretzel stick he has NO idea how to react

....he'd be lying if he said it doesn't interest him though

like. he is INCREDIBLY lost and maybe even disturbed but like. do it again

"is this something they do to sinners in hell? can you use it as self defense? does it hurt your thighs?" a bit gulity of asking these questions ngl but he can't help it

might start avoiding you after that... simply out of fear that it was a bad omen and that you might try crushing his skull instead when he messes up in the games LMAO

william ellis🏈

not shocked at all

he didnt even fucking flinch when it burst he just stood there with his usual 😃 face

"hehe. nice. now watch me" (proceeds to crush a watermelon with his own thighs)

tbh william can be competitive as hell and he would somehow make a competition out of this too

after that whenever y'all ate watermelon in the manor he always shouted "DID YOU GUYS KNOW ___ CAN CRUSH WATERMELONS WITH THEIR THIGHS¿¿¿¿¿ GO ON ___ SHOW THEM!!!!"

might ask you details on how you train/build your thighs just in case...there's always room for self-improvement

next time he sees you he's going to whip out two watermelons and ask you if you can crush both at the same time (cheeky bastard)

luca balsa⚡

mans is just losing his shit at it

"how do you do it??????? how long did you have to build your legs for this??? at what angle does it crush the fastest/easiest???? what technique did you use???" like andrew but with zero self control or fear

so intrigued he'll whip out the nerd glasses and the notepad to study it. bring a few extra watermelons cause once he begins you'll realize it's gonna be a looooong day

i kinda think that he'd be more interested in the physics aspect of it than the crushing itself tbh

after enough research he would try to crush one with his own thighs

...which didn't really go well🥲he's got chopstick legs but we still love him

that absolutely did not discourage him though. he'll find a way to do it himself. somehow. one day.

wu chang☂️

their reactions are quite different

at first they just kinda... side eye each other. not condescendigly tho they just have to clarify they're both seeing the same thing since they didn't expect this when you told them you have a suprise for them

xie is like ☺ "thats... very cute honey!! i'm very proud of you!!!! you've been working very hard!!!!"

no idea how to properly react or process it really but since you seem really happy about it he simply has to share your enthusiasm okay!!! xie the world

fan just smirks. "now crush a pumpkin."

this motherfucker is going to tease you and give you more and more impossible physical challenges just to make you all red in your face and see you angrily give up just crush his head instead at this point

would rather drown himself in that goddamn river again than admit out loud that it's absolutely badass but it becomes obvious after some time. he's not an emotional mastermind after all

antonio paganini🎻

not overwhelmed by it either! hes just chill like dat

he finds it so funny actually - he's grown tired of all the elegant plays and balls that he experienced while playing for royalty so this little peculiar performance of yours put a wide smile on his face

it gave him a good laugh too, not in a mocking way it's just so bizarre and unexpected that he couldn't help but laugh

would joke about it like "i love a partner that can just beat the shit out of me" after seeing it lmao

"you can kill people with that, but personally i wouldn't have an issue with it if it was your thighs in question~" what a fucking flirt GET HIM OUT

if you'd challenge him to do the same he'd just give up after the first two tries... his legs aren't his best asset

he CAN crush a watermelon with his hair though. maybe you should be more careful the next time you try to wriggle out from its grip...

[stuffeddeer]

hello deery, back like i promised lmao

as much as i love silly goofy buddy dazai, deluded possessive and lowkey scary dazai is my fav 🙏 he's such a silly guy with reader, then turns right around and destroys their entire life. then hes like :O omg thats so horrible, so what im hearing is you have more time to spend with me? seeing as all your friends left for reasons unknown, your family wont even look at you. but dw, i'll never leave :)

BWHAHA im not good at this stuff, but your characterization of dazai is my fav in general, such versatility, we love to see it

have a great day :D

-🩵 anon

HES MY least FAVE TOO ugh 🩵anon you get me

“I’m sorry, lovely. That’s so horrible…” Dazai’s knuckles softly rub against your jaw, his skin soothing you as you try to halt your tears.

“It just— ” you hiccup, “ —just feels like everyone’s leaving me!”

The brunet pulls you closer, practically sitting in his lap as his hands move around your torso. “Shh, shh…” He gently wipes away your remaining tears, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

You let out an embarrassed chuckle before nodding. “You’re the only one. Not even my boss wanted me around, I can tell. It’s like she was waiting for me to mess up so she could fire me.”

“That’s not true…”

“How would you know?” The words were genuine, like you were looking for him to explain that it was the work of fate or your shitty coworker you always complained about.

Well, it's because Dazai was the one to get you fired. Your boss was too fond of you, something he simply couldn't have. Plus, work hours always took up your time, time that should be spent with him. Honestly, you didn't need a job, anyway: Dazai would be happy to provide for you and make you dependent on him.

Instead of explaining any of this, he pressed another kiss to your head before pulling you in for a tight hug. “You’re a hard worker. And you’re a wonderful person. If none of your friends want to be in your life, well, I do. So I guess you’ll just have to spend time with me.”

It’s his attempt at lightening the mood, you’re sure of it. A chuckle passes your lips before you can stop it, shifting in his hold so you can hug him back just as tightly. “You’re all I have, so now you’re stuck with me.”

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

oh he’s the worst i need him

he’ll cradle you so sweetly, telling you alllll the good things about yourself!!!

n when you get all confident and hey! maybe you are good enough, maybe you should look into making new friends! ones that won’t leave you so easily 🙄

well,

he’s there to remind you just how heartbroken your last ones left you. your very own flesh and blood cut you out so easily! maybe dazai is the only one who can truly love you for who you are.

he’s not saying it to be mean! he just wants you to know what you’re getting yourself into. he’s always been so smart, too…. well, you guess he’s right.

if you’re a bit more stubborn or masochistic, maybe you don’t gaf!!! put you back in the ring you wanna try again!!!!!

ugh. okay. i mean, dazai did so much for you... y’know, when you lost your job and he insisted let you move in with him, dazai was trying to be a good friend, but... whatever, if you don’t need him anymore than you can just get your own place. oh, you still haven’t found a job? well, since you’re so sure of yourself, you can just get a new one. you can be out by tomorrow, right? you know dazai would’ve liked to go out and make friends during the time he’s been working to keep a roof above the both of your heads and keeping you company after everyone left you. maybe he’s starting to see why they did, since you’re so selfish— 

...

you decided not to go out!

that’s probably when he realizes he should begin moving your relationship along a bit quicker. he’ll flirt with you in the exact way he knows you respond to best (whether that's words of affirmation, teasing, physical touch, etc); he'll bring you back pastries and cute trinkets he saw on his way home from work… his courting is a little eerie, bc he also acts like you two are already dating???? "you're staying in my home, of course i assumed we'd be having dinner tonight. i even learned to cook your favorite— " like he 100% just assumes shit but it always works out bc . well, what else were you doing?

this includes sharing a bed btw. he probably started w having you take his and he takes the couch (a true gentleman) and then maybe he gets another bed and makes a guest room for you... but, well, since you both are so close and it's so cold in his apartment, maybe you can just spend one night with him? It Was Not One Night

if you catch on and reciprocate, oh he's over the moon!!!! his love giving him affection? oughhh.. you're staying in his room in his arms and he's just breathing you in, reminding himself you're still there... it'd be actually kinda sweet if he didn't orchestrate this whole thing

if you catch on (or don't lmao) and deny him? .............

desperate times desperate measures or whatever they say

he locks you in his room for mandatory cuddles, will not give you food if you stick to one side of the room and refuse to let him hold you, he starts pulling away and spewing words he knows will hurt you so you feel so alone and unloved only to turn around and love bomb you.... it's horrific tbh

i'm so sorry . just... go along w it for now pls ❤️

also i mentioned that he'd bring up how you don't have a job and he's the one working hard to pay for your expenses but he's just being a brat. he caught you looking at help wanted ads one time and pretty much cried in your lap about how upset he is that you don't feel his care is adequate enough and only stopped when you promised not to get another job

he's gross :( get out of there

[snipersfucker]

If ur still taking requests then I am curious on your take on how Mirage would go about a crush who is basically the opposite of him? Quiet, introverted, doesn't really live for the high life yet he still falls for them? I find him very attractive but I'd rather read a book than go on a joy ride lol, I'm afraid I'd only disappoint him

you just like meee but that would not be a problem for our boy at all, lemme tell you.......

i feel like he'd be a bit surprised? to come across such a quiet person. you know, not much experience with humans, being surrounded by loud sounds all the time, his fellow autobots always finding a way to talk back to him, scold him or just say random (very important, just not to him) stuff in general..... and noah talks a lot, too. he never shuts up.

he'd definitely observe you a lot, taking mental notes on your behaviour around people, on your responses to his words and everything

he'd find you interesting (always pictured him as the type of robot to perceive humans as wild animals in their natural habitat lmao)

you're reserved, introverted and he is absolutely mesmerised by the fact that you're so different than anyone he's come across before

i do feel like at first he'd either beg you to go and do stupid shit with him cuz that's just how he is, or trap you inside him and take you in a joy ride despite your protests

(he means well, he just wants to make sure you are having fun but by his definition lol)

but he'd gradually begin noticing how little to no interest you had for his type of time well spent. he wouldn't be disappointed per se, maybe just slightly..... hurt? probably thinking that you didn't want to spend time with him, that you thought he was too much and all.....

but he is hella wrong. and as soon as he realises you are just an exact opposite of him, not that you dislike his bubbly personality and cannot stand to be around him, he felt at least relieved

matter of time he'd start catching feelings. the fact that you are so peaceful, allowing him to just talk your ear off was much, much appreciated

he'd definitely try to spend as much time with you as possible, sometimes forgetting that you need some time alone

he'd literally agree to just sitting in silence with you if that's what you want, even though he always has at least three thousand thoughts that threaten to escape his mouth when the room's too quiet in his opinion

he wouldn't try to change you, the thought not even crossing his mind, not even once

he would understand your personality which was so different than his but that would be the reason he falls for you so hard, damn

i so so so see him with an introverted partner tbh

walk him like a dog energy. don't ask me.

if you are ever insecure about the fact that you're not a big fan of extreme shit like him and you think you disappoint him when you say no to his wild offers, he'd immediately reassure you that it's totally okay and that he won't push you to do anything you don't want to

"but i'll be there if you change your mind ;)"

(i kept messing up the tenses fsr tell me if thats too chaotic cuz lmao)

[turrondeluxe]

How long do you think mikey stayed in dimension X?

(Personality, I think like a week/weeks, cuz no way it was just a few hours and he already knows so much about the demention)

(And, how does he get months and hours confused?)

(I don't personally think he's been there long as 2 years because that would really mess up a person)

(But if I see an angsty fanfic 🤨(suddenly I ignore everything I said, like 'yea he's been there for 73736383years now' ))

OH I LIKE THIS ASK

im with you on that one actually! i also think he just stayed there for a few weeks. def less than a month. because for someone like mikey, being by his own in an unknown place no matter if he was doing alright, it would still have messed him up of it got too long. he NEEDS interactions with sentient beings that would keep him company and engage with him (looks at mutagen bomb mad max apocalypse mikey). Tho! he would have understood how a lot of things worked around in that dimension just for being there a few hours tbh, taking into consideration that it's a hostile environment for literally anyone who's an outsider. With this i mean, mikey def was forced to be a quick leaner since the first second after stepping trough the portal. ( tho rn im not taking into account mikey being good with kraang tech in general because he just was good with it since the start of the show tbh. i think it has something to do with the brothers actually being related to the kraang because of the milking worm from where the mutagen came from and all but. thats a whole other can of worms to be opened lol)

Plus! the kraang base was not difficult to find at all so mikey probably spend most of his time just checking out the perimeter and a way to get in (this is from where he could have triggered some security stuff and got to fight the kraang that ended up as his skull helmet and limb accessories lmao). It actually even appears as if that's mikey first attempt at getting in to rescue leatherhead.

Also! when they got back for a bit, mikey was actually happy and excited to be back in dimension x! Meaning that he doesn't truly see that place in a bad light MEANING that he doesn't really hold a bad memory of it. MEANING that he didn't stay there by himself long enough for living more traumas in there lmao

About his time confusion, i actually tie that to his adhd because of my own experience with having adhd. The passing of time for me is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO KEEP A GRASP ON. By this i mean that it's really hard to tell hours/minutes have passed even when not hyperfixing on an activity, this also adds to mixing up days and weeks together. its hard man. ADDED TO ALL THIS, the fact that the dimension doesn't have an obvious sign of time passing (like day and night) would make mikey keeping up with it, while also just surviving, something of a nearly impossible task.

in conclusion

i still love when people headcanon mikey as staying there for literal years. i live for that angst. him eating kraang because of how hungry he got??? him getting captured by the kraang and getting tortured for months??? him getting to hate the pink color??? good stuff

[ma3mae]

MAEEE AAAA I NEED PART TWO OD YOUR "NO BRAIN, JUST HORNY" HC AKSJDJDDJ

Make a part two??🥺🫶Maybe Chuuya and Nikolai?

No brain, just horny! 2

Summary: Oh no! Your bf's acting all hot! What to do??? (Chuuya, Akutagawa, Nikolai, Fyodor)

Genre: fluff, crack, bit suggestive 🤓

Warnings: TO HORNY JAIL WITH YALL 💀✋

A/N: ANOONNN WKDJEKHFKS HERE U GO, SWEETIE 🤩🤩🤩 how can yall find rat man hot, idk man 💀 his parts rly short bc I CANT WRITE HIM so see it as a small extra 💀💀 not proofread btw 💀

Part 1

Nakahara Chuuya

😳 yall wanna get railed by this man, huh??

Cant blame u tho 💀😭 😭

honestly i think his reaction would prob depend on his mood, lowkey like rampo

Just that his reaction would be a bit more intense EHEH

idk if hes kinda busy at the moment and annoyed bc work is being a hoe, hed prob be all impatient like "Damn, doll. Im barely holding myself back as well so just wait a bit, will ya?"

As much as hed love to indulge u immediately, he still values his work yk 😔😔😔

ok yk what would be funny tho? Like he told u he'd be having a meeting at his work place and honestly, its not hard enough to know where it is bc its like legit one of the highest buildings (idk maybe even the highest???) in yokohama lmaoo

And you've been waiting for him to come back home after two weeks but noooo, he has to report everything to his boss 🤓🤓🤓🤓

so you're like "alright, im horny and been waiting for too long."Guess where we're going yall 😋😋😋😋???

TO HELL

Jk nah but we makin our way over there and lets just say they only know u as "the love of his life who def shouldnt be messed with if they wanna live" bc he'd go haywire AS HE SHOULD if anything happened to u 💀

Anyway we know when the meeting's being held so oopsie, we "accidentally" manage to find him in the hallway with some of his colleagues

"Oi, isn't that your girlfriend over there, Boss??" not only tachihara but everyone's confused on why u r even there??

Chuuya just whips his head around and doesnt know if he should just yeet himself outta the building or be happy to see you bc

YES

YES HE DID MISS YOU BUT WHY ARE YOU THEREEEE??💀💀💀💀💀💀😭😨

its especially bad if our boy still hasn't told you what hes actually doing bc no way in hell wants he to drag u into that shi 💀

Anyway you're just too excited so u ignore his to tomato face with a twitching eyebrow and you start to jog towards him but damn tf is that???

OF COURSE theres a bump sticking outta the carpet SMH SUE THE CLEANING STAFF😋

And obviously we all know whos gonna trip on that

But as embarassed as he is, your future hubby will make sure that you won't end up on the floor 💕💕

all you feel is a slight gust of wind and you can only open your eyes to see his gorgeous ones

"Don't just fall for me every time you see me, doll." LMAO thats so corny and he actually gets even more red when he realises wtf he just spouted out of his mouth but he couldnt help it 😭

Especially when hes holding you bridal style in his arms and you can feel him subconciously squeeze you tighter against him bc he missed his wifey

and we are just too whipped to stop ourselves from saying "Chuu chuu, i just couldnt wait anymore. Can we move this to our place? I'll be anything you want, even just a hole for you, mkay?"

HAHAHAHA WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS 💀

thats the EXACT question that goes through his mind as he just stares at you like 😳

But he cant deny that it made him feel hot, even down there a bit...

"Come in when you're done, Chuuya." is all you hear from HIS fking boss as he just sends the both of you a smile as he enters the room before closing the door

Help our man, hes so TORN

All he can do is take a deep breath, trying to stop his face from heating up bc its already hot enough as it is

He'll gently set you down but still keeps a secure grip around your waist with one arm

His gloved hand tilts your face slightly up and all you see is a sea of blue

Letting his gloved thumb slowly glide on your bottom lip

"You really like teasing me. Dont'cha sweetheart? Just give me 15 minutes and then we'll be at home. Honestly might scold you for your little stunt but it's not like you don't like that, right? But I gotta say...."

cherry sweet lips lock onto yours for what seems like only a second before feeling them on your forehead

"I did miss you pretty much...and I'll make it up to you. Thanks for your patience, love."

now YOU'RE the one who's face is about to explode and that annoying ass smirk of his isnt even helping u but oh well

He should be lucky that you're so in love with him and that his handsome looks always manage to hold you back from yelling at him out of embarassement 💀😳

He gives you a peck on the lips before giving you on last squeeze

"Only a little bit longer, okay? Will give you a proper kiss when we're at home."

He makes his way back but stops "Also I love you but please... wait at home next time. No need for anyone to see your cute ass here. Only mine to look at, yk.." the last part kinda gets muffled under his breath as he tilts his fedora down to hide his heated face but welp, ofc u heard everything 😋

Anyway, you let him go to his meeting with a wave with ur hand bc he did promise to make it up to you and your body would be tingling with excitement until yall get back home for yk what 😋😋😋💅

Akutagawa Ryunnosuke

ngl he'd make a similar expression to this pic here 💀 like hes fking constipated or smth

Give my man some time pls bc its his first relationship and he needs some minute to get it through his head that you feel sexually attracted enough to him to yearn for him, broo

"Can't you just... wait until we get home? Why now?" SKKSKS you think he sounds so pissed but hes just so confused 💀😭😭

lmao just came up with a ridiculous scenario

idk some random wannabe gang is stirring up some trouble in yokohama

And how do u resolve this problem as fast as u can?

By sending one of ur best men there who legit just slices them all in mere secs 😋

but wait whats that?

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

You just stare wide eyed at your boyfriend as he stands there infront of the mall, choking the living shit out of what seems to be some weird thug

"Ryu, what are you doing here?"

He just clicks his tounge out of annoyance and casually tosses the man to the side as he makes his way towards you

Stopping infront of you, you only see his furrowed eyebrows and the annoyed look on his face

But if you look closely, you'll see a glimpse of worry in them💕

"I could ask you the same thing. Didn't I telll you to stay at home? And specifically to not enter this area?"

You can only sheepishly laugh at his words and the huff at your answer wasnt that helpful

"Well, the mall here had your favorite tea on sale and I really wanted to surprise you with it!"

He just puts a hand on his face as you peek over his shoulder, only seeing whips and bits of rashomon dealing with the thugs while you boyfriend seems somehow unbothered by their presence, hell he was legit not even aknowledging them at this point 💀

"Let me just finish this real quick and then I'll take you home."

"But I still have t-"

A glare from him immediately zipped your mouth shut, deeming it unnecessary to argue with him any further since he could be very very stubborn

"Just stay behind me and wait."

If you had to be honest, watching your bf just casually beat the shit out of 20 or more men without even breaking a sweat made you feel really hot

He might be stoic, blunt or whatever everyone would call him but at the end of the day, he'd make sure you're well protected and cared for, even if it would take some nudges from you to guide him

He was a fast learner after all in every aspect of your relationship

And it wasn't until he poked your forehead that you snapped out of your trance, your face beet red and only for him to raise an eyebrow at you

"Don't tell me you got sick from just being outside for a bit? I really don't know how someone frail like you had managed to live for so long."

Harsh words yet the gentle press of his hand against your forehead was telling a different story

"Hm, you aren't heating up that much. But I'll still be taking you home."

"Can you stay with me then? Because honestly, watching that fight somehow made me really horny."

🤨 > 😳

"Are you kidding me? How does watching me beat the shit out of some random wannabe thugs make you horny?"

You can only groan at his answer but couldn't keep the smirk on your lips from growing as you noticed the red hue on his cheeks

"It's just hot to see how easy it was for you to just casually fend of all of them. Not to mention, that it's always nice to have a reminder what a strong and reliable lover I have. I'm just really lucky, I guess"

Ah, you smart vixen.

Always using his praise kink for your advantage and oh boy, he knows

But he just can't help his rising pulse at what your words just do to him

"W-Why-? Y-You-???"

Suddenly he grabbing your hand, he turns his body away from you, only his back in your sight as he continues to walk

"Ryu, are we walking ba-"

"Told you I'm taking you home. Someone has to make sure nothing happens to you since you probably wouldn't even know how to defend yourself."

"Aah, I see. Well I'll be sure to thank you properly when we're at home." 😋🤩

A hitched breath and his grip tightening around your hand really made it difficult not to laugh at him

Well, atleast it was nice knowing that you weren't the only one eager to get home asap 💀💀

At the end, you thanked him as promised and he made sure to make you feel safe as always

"Oh, thank you for the tea... I guess.." he'd mumble in your ear as he pressed your back against his chest, his arms tucked comfortably around you. 🤭

Nikolai Gogol

erm 😨 how about no?

Do u not value life?

Jk but his goofy ass would NEVER let u rest if u even show him a tiny bit on how horny you are 💀💀💀💀

bro's like "ew human desires, they only bind u" lowkey (not as hard as fyodor but yk what i mean)

but hes sadly down bad for his future or maybe already wifey so 😉 how could he 😉 say no 😉

like idk lets say for whatever reason u r also part of their rat gang 💀 and its honestly a big headache to endure his weird and annoying antics every day

But thats what made u fall in love bc u have bad taste 😋😋😋 same tho

is prob gonna tease u about that too like "Oh, Y/N~ So many men out there and yet you still chose me?? Either you're just very desperate or you just don't care at all! But don't worry, I'm more than happy to be the one who's on your mind all day 🤩🤩🤩" he says as he's casually bombing a whole building and kills hundreds of people 🤩

Thats for sure gonna be blowing ur mind for weeks 💀 IM SORRY

throw him into a trash can or smth 💀 jkjk maybe im not 💀💀

anyway back to the scenario 💀

lets say hes as always acting like the 🤡 he is and disrupting everyone's life by being plain annoying

Ok so fyodor threatened to kill him for the 100th time? Check.

Sigma's crying in his office bc he just escaped random pairs of scissors flying at him for the whole day? Check. someone has to cut that atrocious hair away, okur💀💀💀

Getting hit by gf after randomingly stealing kisses from her?

Che-

"But why won't you let me kiss you, Y/N????"

Dodging his attempts for what would seem the 30th time for the day, you hastily continued to make your way to Sigma, a box of self made cookies in your hand.

"You've been harassing everyone for the entire day as always! And don't get me started on what you tried to do to Sigma!"

You could only hear a whine as fast footsteps tried to outrun yours, you wanting nothing but wanting to somehow lift Sigma's spirits up since no one else would make their time to comfort him after the inhuman pranks your boyfriend couldn't refrain from doing

"But he's just so funny, you know! How could anyone resist not teasing him all day?!"

"Teasing doesn't mean endangering his life! Only because YOU don't like his hair!"

"Hmm, but won't you atleast give me one kiss before you go?"

"nope, never. Bye!"

Aah, you really shouldn't have challenged him 😨

"Well, then I guess you won't be needing that then!"

"Huh?"

A

"NIKOLAI GOGOL?! GIVE ME THE FUCKING BOX BACK!!" only hearing maniacal cackling quickly distancing itself from you, as he ran away with the box in his hand

Ah, he really was blessed with the perfect ability for him

Too stubborn and annoyed to realise his intentions, you quickly followed him, the urge of wanting to punch him pulling you towards him like a magnet

"A chase is what he wants? Okay, he'll get it." 😋😋

Knowing immediately that he made it too easy for the both of you as he nonchalantly laid on your shared bed, crumbs on his cheeks as he enjoyed your cookies, his mask casually laying next to him.

"You are more than an annoying child, you know that?"

"Yep but I don't care! Also how dare you only make cookies for your friend when you've got such a loving partner like me!"

A groan slipped out of you as you walkes over to him, earning yourself a "HEY?!" as you snatched the box away from him

"If you wanted some, you could have just asked like a normal person. I wouldn't have minded sharing some and Sigma probably not."

"Ugh, like a normal person? You know that's just boring~ buuuut if you really want me to then-"

You felt a pull at your wrist, making your chest hitting his as you landed on top of him, affectively stradling him

Both of your hands at the side of his head as you tried to lift yourself up, yet the arm around your waist stopping you, your faces only mere inches away from each other

A smirk splayed on his face as he wiped the crumbs away from his lips with his gloved thumb

Pressing it softly against your lips, the movement ingrained in your body as you opened them without any protest

a low chuckle at your cute actions as you licked the crumbs of his thumb before releasing it with a soft 'pop'

"Is that normal enough for you, my dove?"

Not letting the heat on your face and body stop you from throwing remarks at him, you merely stated "That wasn't asking, just plain seduction at this point."

Letting his eyes trail over your body and the hands next to him, tightly clutching the sheets only spurred him further on.

"Well, I've got your attention now, right?"

"You're lucky that I love you."

"Isn't it good to know we're both obesessed, dearie?"

A whine left his lips as you tucked at his hair at that statement, grazing your teeth across his neck before harshly biting on it.

"Well, then end what you've started then."

"Gladly."

Getting hit by Y/N after randomingly stealing kisses from them? Hair pulled, make out sessions and more after annoying them? Double Check.

Fyodor Dostojevski

💀 im dead, you're dead, we're all DEAD

ok jk he wouldnt kill u bc even if he wont admit it immediately, he loves u 😋

but why would u feed his annoying god complex like that 😨😨

but guess what 😋 youve always had bad taste so why not be together with a terrorist 🤩

Ur only dates would be either sitting in his stinky room full of computers as hes been sitting there for days and you're chilling on his lap

or yall actually go outside to ruin someone's life 💅

and honestly, what better way to confirm that humans r horrible af when he sees you get turned on by his horrid acts 💀💀💀

"I just took a life infront of your very eyes and all you say is how hot that is? Well, aren't you ruined to the point of return? But that's what makes you so interesting, I guess."

UGHH IDK HOW YALL CAN LOVE HIM 💀💀💀

i think it would be rly difficult to actually turn him on as well at first

Or catch him off guard tbh bc all you'd get is a condescending smirk of him just teasing you

He'll prob also just call u out about how horny you are but its ok bc he loves having that effect on you 🤩

"Is it seeing someone's eyes lose their light? Killing the gifted because the world would be purer without them? Tying them up and choking the life out of them? Or is it because I am the one doing these acts? Planning it all out, only for you to witness it? How about I'd do it to you, hmm?"I FEEL ITCHY AFTER WRITING THAT 💀

tbh it depends how "horny" u r tbh bc he'd prob make you beg for it first by just telling u off n stuff until you cant take ir anymore

Like if you want him then SHOW him how much you want him 🤩

he prob has not that much of a stamina but he'd make up for it with technique what am i writing rn😭😭😭😭

anyway you'd def be satisfied but he'd prob make you work for it first before tending to ur "needs"

im crying i hate this

😭

A/N: DAMN already hit 400 followers?? thinking of maybe doing smth for that, idk what tho. Got too many ideas 💀 and lmao sorry for the radio silence 💀 writers block and life, we love it.

[liliththeimp]

sum ghosts hc’s :3 pt 1–SFW

Once again back at it with my SAS wife cos my brain is rotting like disintegrating cotton candy so here are some headcannons i made (posted on ao3 but thought they deserved a bit recognition here too lol)

Now these are just some personal hcs ive made or seen that i liked;

the numbered sfw hcs are going to tie into the nsfw hcs, for clarification!!

SFW:

He loves music, like anything 70’s to 90’s in a sense? Like, sum pink floyd or shinedown (ik but it stuck after an ai chat and i cant fucking let it go-) nu metal, death/black metal, gothic metal, throw in some thrash/groove metal- anything with metal really

Onto my next point, he’s good at guitar, like really good, he has a gibson guitar he named (idfk what he named it, probably after you tho lmao)^1

He’s a straight up asshole, like, blunt calls everyone cunts, he’s just a a British as shoe dude what did you expect. But the funny thing is, if you end up cursing him out like a sailo he will find that as a major turn on ^2

Simple man doesnt like complicated food, just a normal burger and fries and he’ll be grateful. And if you cook good luck he eats like a bear (how else u think he’s bulky???)

He likes winter over any season bc its the opposite of where he’s been, though allergies/sickness do annoy the shit out of him cus he sneeze into his mask and it pisses him off

Likes milkshakes and i won't expand on that.

He’s a big softy for like small gifts, he may not show it but that macaroni necklace he called stupid? He has it on his night stand so it wont get ruined. You got a bracelet you gave him three months ago? He wears it everyday.

Pretty testing and bully-ish, but will just become a stuttering mess when you tame him, the slight blush peeing through his balaclava will give you enough lee way to make him fall in love with you

“blink mf.” 

Stares down new recruits, no exceptions- when he sees you, he ends up staring more

Knows some ASL when he’s not exactly in a talkative mood (not gonna say non-verbal bc, i doesnt fit him? he’s just like middle finger up to say fuck you, thats his sign language lmao)

Pretty big book worm in his free time

Fast learner at anything, i imagine he has a hard time remembering shit bc of his trauma n shit will do that to ya, but if he watched something long enough he can get it down.

Likes some spicy food

Doesn't do video games, he just doesnt think their any fun

OMFG this man- he makes fucking BACON in his GRILLED CHEESE. I argued with him (literally only with a fucking AI bot like some looser but my point still stands;) about how that's an abomination, grilled cheeses are meant for, and paired ONLY with tomato soup, sometimes chicken noodle. but he believes it the most delicious thing, he’s not putting watered down ketchup next to his beautiful creation.

Stubborn and pouts easily, you say something he doesnt realize is a joke he hold onto that grudge. “Why are you so upset right now? What did i do?” He huffed, uncrossing his arms “you didnt hold the door for me and I slammed my face! You didnt even apologize!!” You blinked, lips pressing into a thin line “are you fucking 5.”

his love languages is more quality time than physical touch- but Jesus Christ this man will get clingy af once he trusts you (after he takes off his mask fully 4 the first time, he trusts you with his whole heart- dont break it pwease- hes hes jus a little guy)

Ok really like bully breed dogs, like his favorite.

loves to hold your hand, like if you wrap your hand around two of his fingers specifically, he’ll turn into a blush mess and so so prideful, (like big softy friendly giant who could totally crush you- and he’s like so gentle) ^3

Gives a lot of thought before he compliments you, like studies the way you do things- like, hair clips, clothes, colors, make up, shoes, etc etc, he loves to study your features.

Can cook- like, really good- but ends up ordering takeout or pizza cos he’s lazy

On his trips, like when he get deployed longer than a couple of months, he brings back sand for you from the places he’s been and you have a small shelf full of small files of the sand (unlabeled btw, you just know which is which)

tries not to get angry or lash out or get like, cold or distant with you bc he really cares he’s just scared of fucking up and you leaving once you see how broken he is

Does all those horrible jokes, his voice is slow and gruff and just- gravelly? Like, he talks like the Grimm reaper himself and makes a yo mama joke

Doesn’t know how to ask for attention so he’ll come up behind you and tug a strand of your hair or nudge you- shit he’s thrown pillows at you then stares at you with a straight face “cuddles.”

“Not arguing with a dude with big brown eyes. Like, whatever you say beautiful”

he loves eye contact wen talking about serious shit- like, complimenting you, or saying i love you, he wants you to look him in the face and understand how much he means it….yet you turn into a blushing stuttering mess when he does, and he laughs to himself ^4

Stares at ‘settings’ on his phone to avoid social situations. Argue with the wall.

in the thickest, most unintelligible, uninterpretable British accent possible “YA KNO’ WHAT YOU DIR’Y ‘ITTLE CUNT—”

Incoherent British slang, colonizer alphabet soup if you will.

plays hello kitty island adventure or cooking mama un-ironically

Can’t spell “gynecologist” (geneycologist/ gin-i-colo-gist) or “bologna” (balaonie/ balony)

If there’s ever a baby in the store or something, and the baby is staring at him, he’ll make funny faces (mainly cross his eyes and makes small sounds)

doesn’t think he’ll be a good dad, but still thinks about it- believes he’s not good enough for a family ^5

Anywho continue onto part 2 here for spic stuff you perv >:3

[lowkeyrobin]

slimecicle x reader but write it around the writing trope thats your current favorite! :))

yall cannot be giving me freedom like this.... ; anyways doing a little country/twisters 2024 au / aquiatences to lovers thing cause idk my favorite writing trope lmaoooo ; anyways thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy :) ; this is also super short cause idk writers block ; also idk why I did an au??? I started this at 4am so I apologize LMAO

SLIMECICLE ; ain't no love in oklahoma

summary ; from chasing twisters to falling for each other, charlie will always be your daredevil driver to your sarcastic weather scientist

warnings ; language, tornados/twisters, schlatt saying the f-slur, sex jokes/innuendos but nothing nasty

track ; ain't no love in oklahoma, luke combs

word count ; 900

masterlist

Getting to know Charlie, especially while chasing tornadoes, was definitely something. You'd been acquaintances, you being a scientist and him a storm chaser, for a while now.

You had a passion and a desire to study these twisters, becoming more and more frequent, growing more dangerous. He knew how to fucking drive, that's for sure.

"Faster!" You shout, leaning forward a bit to look up at the sky, your iPad in your lap.

"It doesn't get much faster than this!" He shouts back, the car going airborne for a split second over a bump.

You both grunt, being knocked back to the ground in the lifted truck. Schlatt and Ted sit behind you, with Ted recording on some fancy camera and Schlatt reading you numbers and statistics off of his phone while everything about the twister was being live recorded. You're all strapped in, of course, watching as the one twister divides into two.

"Holy shit!" You shout, looking at Charlie for a moment. "You see that too, right?!"

"Yeah!"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Shit is only gonna get worse"

"Shit"

"I'm tired"

"Me too"

You nod as you four sit around the round table, the moonlight shining in through the window behind you. Schlatt loudly bangs his hands on the table before using the weight to push himself up on his feet.

"Goodnight fags" He speaks, before collecting his jacket and iPad to return to his room.

"Night" You raise a hand, waving him away.

Ted then follows, having been attempting to rub sleep away from his eyes for over an hour now.

"Don't fuck in the kitchen, you two!" He shouts over his shoulder.

You roll your eyes in response.

Charlie slowly looks over at you, trying to scan your expression. "So..."

"Hm?"

"You have a good time today, chasing twisters?"

You nod with a dorky smile, "Yeah, yeah, I did"

"What's all the tech stuff mean?" He asks, resting his chin on his hand, elbow perched on the table.

You shrug, "Statistics. High statistics, higher than usual. More sporadic and frantic, even"

He nods.

You stand up, wanting to eat before retreating to bed. Ted had made Mac and Cheese, but you never found time to get a bite. You grab the last bowl and scoop some into it, then put it in the microwave for 30 seconds to reheat.

As you stare at the counter slowly descending to zero, you feel a pair of hands wrap around your shoulders, slightly digging into your muscles.

"Y'know, you look like you need a massage"

You lightly sigh, shaking your head. "I'm fine. Tired and hungry, Charlie, tired and hungry"

"And stressed" He adds

You nod to that.

"I can make it go away"

"We're not banging in Ted's kitchen"

He blinks a few times, having to connect the dots. He didn't realize how he messed that wording up.

"Oh, no, I mean, I can give you an actual massage. My aunt is a massage therapist. I mean, we can make out if you want-"

"You better get your hands ready for a massage"

Down the hall, Ted and Schlatt are able to hear your grunts and groans from the living room.

"Ugh, harder"

Ted raises an eyebrow, looking at Schlatt.

"A little low- ugh"

Their jaws drop in disgust.

Schlatt quickly slams the door shut, alerting you and Charlie that they heard and were still awake. You and Charlie both look up, confused and oblivious. You roll over, having heard enough of your spine cracking and popping like Rice Krispie cereal.

"Thank you, really"

"Anything for you-"

"Don't even, cowboy"

[solargeist]

I'm curious on how Grian is handling the whole Xelqua situation up until the current point.

At first it was more so just him seeing another version of himself within his home, but now Grian is also looking after kid Xelqua, who behaves exactly like a child.

It's a little difficult for me to phrase this question - the human mind tends to adapt and adjust to things much faster than we can settle ourselves, which then means we often roll with whatever is going on. While we see Grian caring for Xelqua and having that bond, is he like... really coping with it?

I think it was definitely difficult in the beginning, he still wasn't even getting along with Xelqua fully before meeting a child version--they were just on ~okay terms, talking at least.

Since i also hc Grian as autistic, i imagine it was pretty overwhelming, kids can be pretty loud and touchy, rebellious. It messes up his schedule too, its not an easy transition.

Xelqua also comes and goes as he pleases, so thats stressful to keep up with--especially when he was trying to hide Xelqua at first--just until he figured out what to do or what to say.

I think the first time he speaks to kid Xelqua, he accidentally makes him cry--or just teary--bc he talks to him exactly like he does the adult version, believing that Xelqua is messing with him again, but Xelqua's reaction of confusion is too genuine, so Grian has to calm him down awkwardly, and try a different approach, sit on the floor this time, and ask a bit softer, whats going on. But Xelqua doesn't know either, and doesn't have many answers, but he'd like a snack plzzzzzz.

So it takes some time, it was hard to cope with at first, and I'm sure he still gets frustrated with kid Xelqua. Its just parenthood !! Sometimes good, other times bad, shrug ! Grians gotten pretty good at it though, this is all the way into s9, he's learned a lot with dealing with himself and his own issues, hes a lot more stable, I don't think s6 Grian would've been able to handle Xelqua in any form.

But, if he can't cope and needs time alone to calm down or relax, theres other Hermits willing to step in and babysit that day !! It rly does take a village ! I think he gets that parent guilt sometimes lmao, when hes frustrated and has someone babysit, but Xelquas still so happy to see him later.

[arkngth]

my newest tribute to the wildrp fandom or whatever you'd call it.

vampires au antonio/oliver "crack" ship that i let get out of hand bc theyre actually so fun to draw 🫢 also, i couldnt not make a vampires au, i mean, look at what theyre wearing ! those are pretty much canon outfits !! theyre so [explodes /pos]

also, i'm afraid of twitter so i didnt get to post the actual ship art there 😭

i dont trust twitter with gay art thats even slightly suggestive lmao esp if its extra toxic yaoi. rptwt sucks ong

my antonio can do no wrong(/j), so i needed an au where he's a devious little freak who can disturb even the likes of a violent n grumpy oliver.

which, I'll admit, i only know oliver from wu's pov n not much else, but i love what little bit i saw of his personality that i wanted to take what i interpretted n play around w ideas involving antonio,,, cuz i hope i've already established how [debatably] normal i am about him :3c

i'm a big fan of religious themes, so i love the idea of the dicenzo fam following some good ol fashioned italian catholic rules hehe. except antonio, who would've excommunicated or just, lost faith in God in general after his house burns down with his family still inside. and in this au specifically, he messes around with some vampires at some point n yknow, gets turned into one.

when antonio n wu join the family, antonio takes a special interest in oliver just bc he's easily worked up n annoyed. so he likes to pester him just to get a reaction. at some point ollie becomes the vamipre hunter hunting antonio, who causes havoc wherever he goes cuz he's hungry for blood, basic vampire stuff. and antonio likes to lure ollie around to mess with him, and no matter how long he's gone without feeding, he'd never bite ollie just so he'll stay mortal and warm-blooded.

thats basically all ive got. sorry for the wall of text again, i dont have anybody to talk to about my ideas n im too scared to talk abt it on twt [sigh]

[miss-choco-chips]

HI! :> It's nice evening to send random asks! Please tell me where each of the people you ship Kuroko (KnB) with would take Kuroko on a date? And where would Kuroko woult take himself on a date) :>

hi dear!!! Its so nice to hear from you! I haven't checked my ask box in like... a year lmao and just checked it now and saw your message!! Destiny, i tell you!

Well, I ship Kuroko with basically everyone, but I'll answer about the big ones.

answer under the cut cause it got big

Kagami: I feel like Kagami would be either be really chill, since they've been friends for so long, that he'd take Kuroko somewhere they already hang out at (ex, Maji burger and then their favoirte streetcourt), OR he gets all self conscious because he wants it to be perfect so he prepares something homemade and they watch movies at his place (where the GoM can't spy on them). Thats if they are in japan. I love fics where they live in America togheter, and over there, I think he'd take Kuroko to an amusement park or to see one of his favorite spots. They are best friends, before they are partners.

Aomine: Maji, streetcourt and then home to make out, in that order, if he's the one to plan it. If he makes the mistake (or miraculous decision) of letting Momoi know they have a date, she'll insist he 'treats her tetsu-kun right', so he'll give it a bit more thought and take Kuroko to a nice cafe, where Kuroko can read one of his books while Aomine browses through his magazines. Peaceful and comfortable, like the twin souls they are like when alone togheter. They don't need to do anything special for it to feel special.

Akashi:... he's over the top, okay? He'll pick Kuroko up in a luxurious car, take him to a 5 star restaurant and then take him to a nice walk in a rose garden or something (and if there's no rose garden in the city, he'll have one built specficially for that). He'll kiss him under the stars, and sappy after all that, he'll allow Kuroko to take HIM to an ice-cream parlor. They end the night speaking about everything and nothing over some vainilla and strawberry ice cream. And sometimes, when Kuroko insists on doing something silly and unexpected (the only person who can still surprise Akashi), like racing through the park or smearing ice cream on akashi's nose, he feels like the young boy he still is but was never allowed to act like.

Kise: After recovering from the near happines-induced heart attack after Kuroko said yes, Kise would go ape-shit planning the perfect date. He's not confident he'll get a second one if he messes this up (he would, but kuroko wont ever admit as much), so he overcompensates by interviewing the people closest to kuroko to help him come up with something perfect. In the end, he decides on a quiet picnic alone togheter, in an open field where Nigou can run to his heart's content while they talk, away from fangirls and cameras. He's a perfect gentleman, walking Kuroko home to his door, and is so surprised by Kuroko's unexpected goodbye kiss that he ALMOST forgets to immediately text him a text begging for a second date. He doesn't, and the positive reply leaves him smiling for hours.

Thats my main ships... But I basically ship Kuroko with everyone lmao so *shrugs*

And as to where Kuroko would take himself... I'd say he'll probably go to his favorite bookstore, get something nice to eat, and find a streetcourt so he can relax, eat and read, and then watch someone play ball or play himself if the urge strikes. Nothing too crazy, in my opinion

If you have any other ideas, id love to read them!

[phightingconfessions]

here you go lmao

----

GOD banhammer is so fucking perfect, i've been staring at a picture of him in some way shape or form for probably like fifteen hours out of the last three days. he is just so very mwah i wanna bite his armor it looks so fucking cool bro. and his teeth, good LIRD his fucking teeth those chompers are driving me insane. i wanna put my hand in his mouth and i don't think i'd even be upset if he bit me for that, hell i want him to bite me. he could step on me too and pick me up and throw me down the stairs and i wouldn't even be mad. did i mention how fucking tall he is? mans is like 6 foot 11 inches, thats bonkers, he could punt me into the sun and i'd let him. his hands are probably huge as fuck too. i want him to hold me but i'd settle for being manhandled into a jail cell. he probably patrols the cells on occasion since he's just built different and i'd stand in my 'pathetic homosexual loser' cage and give him a gay little wave as he walks past. blow him a kiss and all that. he might not even notice because he's blindfolded which would be saddening but hey maybe i'll get to feel his touch when he drags me off to be executed or whatever. does he even execute his prisoners at all? if he doesn't i guess i will just rot in that cell until he sees fit to release me. bummer. or perhaps i could seduce him into letting me work as an assistant/maid/etc for him instead. he seems like he'd get off on having someone to order around directly, and i wouldn't mind obeying his every command. anyways as much as i'd enjoy letting him order me around it would probably get boring eventually. he'd probably melt immediately if i gave off even a whiff of dominance. mans still listens to his mom for fucks sake, he'll fold like a wet napkin if i yank him down to his knees and grab his chin. that might be tough with the size difference though. i could back him into a corner and grab his horns and pull his face down to mine and then kiss him or whisper to him or whatever. fuck yeah. not to mention he's blindfolded too, so i could mess around with that. he'd probably be kinda mouthy about it, especially if we have a significant strength difference, but he'd like it. putting a hand in his mouth would probably shut him up. god the thought of running my hand along his teeth is just so fucking enthralling. they look kinda similar to shark teeth. built to maul people and yet here i am touching them like the most foolish creature upon god's green earth. cough this is getting a little too immersive whoops fuck uhhh right! his armor. the gems everywhere is attractive. shiny objects are so cool and banhammer has a gem on like every section of his armor. they probably make cuddling a tiny bit uncomfortable but that's par for the course with armor. i'd put up with it. his weapon looks sick as hell too but i am not a weapons connoisseur, i am a men connoisseur. and this one is delicious cough right his armor. his boots look pretty tough. they probably have treads that'd leave a good mark if he stepped on my back. that'd be cool. i'd let him dig his heel into me with great force. god at this point i dont even wanna fuck him i just want to either destroy or be destroyed by this man. good fucking god why did i write so much. *checks wiki* right he has four eyes. assuming they look like his mom's do it'd probably be pretty cute. two little extra ones beside his normal eyes. he probably winks by closing half his eyes. and now i'm thinking of various seductive faces he could make. i am down so bad i can't even. i wanna kiss him choke him slam him into a wall. or have him do that to me. i'm not picky. one of us is gonna be pathetic, obedient, and submissive and i frankly do not give a fuck which one it ends up being. i'd let him put a collar on me. the thought of banhammer wearing a collar is making my brain do terrible horrible things so i will leave it at that. i do draw the line at like 'daddy' shit tho that's not for me at all & he probably has daddy issues anyway

I've read this like 5 times and I have determined. I will post it.

behold: the banhammer manifesto. I don't think it gets crazier than this I think we've reached craziest post about ban on this blog. well done everyone! I'm going to go cry now bye forever /j