#that's why you buy physical media btw

[just-a-little-unionoid]

I wanna gnaw on walls I can't find one of my favourite songs anywhere on the Internet, best I can find is a low quality live (not even the whole song) and a nightcore (which... I tried ok, I tried)

[hg-aneh]

will you ever come back, or is this an indefinite hiatus/straight up dipping?

i don't know

all the i miss yous are making me want to come back but ik i would just be terrified and motionless as soon as i do

Vent-ish Rant downstairs

CW: Pedophilia, Antisemitism, Suicide, Ableism, Harassment, Bullying, all the important words except for murder basically

i want to fix things in private with the people who hurt me so things can be okay and I don't out them for being wieners

but i also want everyone to know who hurt me, yet I'm aware it's not the right choice to make. social media outrage barely leads to anything, specially where minors are concerned

hell,now that i think about it, considering the fact that they genuinely don't believe people older than them are allowed to have feelings, I don't even think talking would be the right move

it's scary, its fucking scary

fuck. the whole thing started with a person mocking the way i spoke about crowley telling me to stop babying him because i was a legal adult and shouldn't be speaking like that

i had just turned 18 and the person was only a year younger than me

like when it's gone to that point and shit is that fucked up, what can one person even do

i remember i laughed about it back then but truth be told, every single little thing I've been told and that I've listened to coming from the people who hurt me has fucking destroyed me as a person

I looked at my older Discord messages, from before this whole mess started. I was so fucking happy and shameless with my joy, now look at my sorry ass

i just.

it's crazy that i have to go around masking in social media of all places because there are people that take such offense to me being cringe that they legitimately turn into high school mean girls

it's crazy that there are people who claim I'm something i am not because they want to make me look bad in the eyes of their little circlejerking friend groups so they can feel like the hero of the story

it's crazy that empathy goes completely out of the window when an account is big, that people don't see human beings as human beings when they're behind a screen

"just log off lol" i am a lonely shut in motherfucker due to my autism (that, surprise surprise, hinders my ability to socialize), you do not understand what you're asking of me, specially while being in this country and at this point in time where I'm actively craving to kick the metaphorical bucket, at daily risk of doing so, and what basically is house arrest for my own safety and well being

(aka, avoiding to physically yeet myself into upcoming traffic or buying something to actually seal the deal)

thus far I've been accused of antisemitism, pedophilia, being too self-centered (which. bro, the reason why i talk about myself is because it's the one thing i can comment on without being scared of some random person coming to tell me "NuH uH" about it out of nowhere or worse, having their feelings hurt because I don't agree with them 100%), proshipper (which, to those people, the word implies wonderful labels such as "incest apologist" "pedophile" (again) "abuse endorser" among other things) ((sidenote, I'm on neither side on that particular discourse. my friends from both sides know this. I would elaborate on my stance if this wasn't already long enough, but it is, so I'm leaving it at an "I don't care, you do you, but please leave me out of it")), being... mean... because i blocked someone...? (this one is just. that's how the second wave of hate started btw. yeah, because i blocked someone. holy fuck), and there's probably a handful of other things I haven't seen yet. fuck it, there's probably someone out there calling me a zoophile because of my catboy au

My friends who I will not name because I don't want the high school mean girls crusade to get to them, have helped me stash out evidence for all of the accusations and bullying.

fuck, they were the ones who let me know about it on the first place, both actions for which i am eternally thankful for because it means I can defend myself properly should the occasion arise (dios no quiera)

I've already had to make a post on Xitter responding to the antisemitism and pedophilia claims, in which, for the latter, i had to reveal extremely personal information for the people who started this to give me respite if only for a while

and. ugh

What I'm trying to get at with all of this is. it's. coming back is scary. i want to but at the same time I don't think I can take this shit anymore

I wish I had people defending me like this when the harassment started because I'm a spineless little bitch who'd rather talk things out and at least be neutral with people than clap back and tell them to stop being stinky

but what's done is done and now i just gotta figure out how to fix my head before i do something stupid

this is not the full story obviously, I'm cutting off certain details as well as more personal depression stuff to not make this bible longer than it already is

fuck

TLDR: I need a hug, idk if I'm coming back, I probably will cuz I can't say no to people, and some teenagers are horrible

[sunsetsandsunshine]

If me and my mutual’s were the Spider-gang…

❤️EMERY AS MILES MORALES🖤 @sunsetsandsunshine

Y’ALL ALREADY KNOOOOWWWW 💘💞💖💕💗💓

Artist of the group

My Dad is a police officer AND detective sooooooo…

He has done the “You gotta say I love you back” thing to me multiple times…

Fucking loves having friends and talking to people

COMIC BOOKS ARE LIFE‼️ COMIC BOOKS ARE LOVE‼️

Keeping the collectibles I N S I D E of the box!!! IT STAYS NICE AND FRESH THAT WAY— LIKE PRODUCE YK???!!!

Tries to be quote on quote “cooler” in front of others…

Newsflash? It never works

💝 Family lover all the way 💝

Music is LIFE 🎶🎤🎵🎼…idfk what we’d do without it…

A collector of many random things— rocks, toys, bracelets you NAME it

Hyperactive as HELL

Has a hard time accepting loss

“NAH” “🫠” “UHM…” “AAAAAAAAHHHHH”

A sketchbook for literally every season

When it comes to friendships, I will try everything in my power to maintain it and try to keep it going but once I’m done? I’m done 🫶🏾

A singer 😩🤚🏾

Physical affection 🫣💕💓

Apologies WAAAAAAY too fucking much

H A P P Y. S T I M S.

Suppressed anger issues

Knows way too many people both online and irl

Becomes a whole different person when angry 🥸👍🏾

Beatboxes and raps horribly

Basically Miles is me and I’m Miles ❤️🖤

🤍JOJO AS GWEN STACY🩵 @shut-up-jo

Cool af legit why the hell are you friends with me man—

Musician of the group 🪗🎷🎻🎺🎹🥁🎸

Shows up to your house without warning like you owe her money

In a band (most def)

Says the most DIABOLICAL and out of pocket shit known to MAN

🔥 Would burn down the kitchen if she ever cooked 🔥

Listens to Billy Joel 😌

POPULAR AF

Short af too 🤪🫶🏼

BAD PICK-UP LINES…

Would be cancelled if any of her texts got leaked

“DIE” “KYS” “CHOKE” “STFU”

Had the WORST 2020 phase (I’m sorry ilysm please don’t kill me 🙏🏼)

AOT lover (as you fucking should )

Honesty is the best policy 💋

Changes her voice depending on who she’s talking to

Has the most fucking unhinged and cursed FYP page

Doesn’t matter what social media app…it’s just straight up CURSED

Gives the best advice like oml

Could host a TED-talk but would there’s a 99.9% she would get cancelled

Needs to take a flipping BREAK 💕

Could make a TV show with her life (with like a million specials and crossovers)

Licks the powder off the Doritos and/or Taki’s and puts them back in the bag 😶…

Has burned Barbie’s before

Unironically sings 'Dance Monkey' just because

Your so so silly I love you so much 🤍🩵

💛SANA AS PAVITIR🩷 @itzsana-kiddingmenow

If sunshine were a person 🌞

Has a really toxic fanbase…

✨Anxiety✨

The best cook out of all 4 of us probably

“🥺” “GRRRRRRR” “🙈” “NAUUUR”

Calls people adorable, cute etc but can’t handle when people say that to her 🥹💓

Your adorable btw ☺️

When she’s mad she doesn’t cuss that much but most def just says big words

#TOXICFRIENDSGANG

Takes selfies like every single second 📱

Has Snapchat probably

Has listened to JoJo Siwa’s Karma WAAAAY too many times…

Would fold like a lawn chair if poked in the side 💕

FANGIRL

✨ Bilingual queen ✨

Sobbed for DAYS when MatPat dropped his departure video…

Is way too fucking smart 😉

Has the Ultimate Alpha Sigma Gyatt Rizz but doesn’t know it quite yet 👁️🫦👁️

A tea lover ☕️🍵

Would go to antique stores with people to just look at things and then end up buying the whole ass store

Does cartwheels for funsies

Overthinker ☹️

Could solo Bakugou and win

Is going to be a menace one she learns how to drive

Needs more sleep frfr

My lil sugar cream puff over here you guys 💛🩷

💙ZEEZIE AS HOBIE BROWN❤️ @ziipzeepzop-eez

101% effort in E V E R Y T H I N G

Side-eyes 🤨

Has more rizz than the whole Earth population combined

“FW” “THAT’S RACIST” “TWWINNNN” “YUUURR”

EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS

Did I say emojis?

Comes up with the most cutest freaking nicknames for people 🥹💕🩷☹️💓✨

TAKE A BREAK 😡😡😡

Can most definitely win a dance battle against anyone but acts like she can’t

Dad jokes 🫶🏽

Uses finger guns unironically (through text and in person) 👉🏽👉🏽

Could make a diss-track about so many people 🫢…

Would have a million cats if she could

Probably had a Gacha Life phase

Would go to a movie theater just to watch cat videos on the big screen

Popular af 💕

Friends with legit everyone 🙏🏽

Would actually murder a man if they hurt one of her friends

Has watched Coraline and The Nightmare Before Christmas soooooo many damn times

Guillmero Del Toro’s Pinocchio made her ugly cry (Same here 🫠)

Could solo everyone here on Tumblr easily 👁️👄👁️

Hates Twitter/X but only has it for the ✨drama✨

FAIRY LIIIGHTS

Is most def someone’s opp ☺️

Can multi-task like crazy

So cool and dazzling and aahhhfhfhds 💙❤️

(If any of this makes any of you guys uncomfy just DM me and I can erase it 🫶🏾)

[catdemontraphouse]

Through having an autism moment for one of my favorite movies and its related medias (the current Beetlejuice fixation) I came to the following conclusions:

*Beetlejuice’s favorite color is probably red, which is probably a reference to the color of the star he’s named after

*Beetlejuice enjoys fashion and could even possibly be considered a designer (yes rly) Despite being a grungy character who’s known for being smelly and gross… he is a designer/seamstress with a vested interest in fashion???

Yes I’m going to explain in horrifically unnecessary detail. (It’s the autism) and yes this draws from all the juices but tbh any one of them would work as a stand-alone example (except maybe musicaljuice but he’s critical to the sewing part and also he’s the cute one)

————————-

The argument for Beetlejuice being an amateur designer:

There’s an interview somewhere with the costume designer for the musical that says they wanted the pinstripe black and white suit to look like it had been repaired and modified over the years, because since Beetlejuice was a loner, he’d been solely responsible for making and maintaining his wardrobe. So like, he sewed his own suit by his lonesome out of fabric of some sort. Because if it was magic why the hell would it need repairs? Which suggests at least to me that he *enjoys* making clothes because why go through all that work if you can materialize anything at will? And I mean it fits so, I’m sure it wasn’t his first ever pattern making and sewing experience.

There’s also the way toonjuice refers to his suit as having “never been washed” on numerous occasions so I don’t reckon it’s something he just makes from magic and poofs into nothingness on the fly? Though toonjuice could be argued to buy his clothing since they never stated he made it and he lives in some kinda monster city idk. I’m saying that suggests physical matter somehow not like, idk a temporary illusion? If you can wash it, it has some sort of mass to it right?

Listen, why the fuck a guy who can make his own patterns and sew an entire suit would not wash it is beyond me but okay. Anyways the point is there’s a suggestion being made here by the franchise that Beetlejuice makes his own clothing in the traditional way by sewing together some sort of permanent matter. I can’t say I get the same impression from moviejuice though. There’s not much to suggest his clothing isn’t just temporary magic bullshit, save for the visible decay… ok wait maybe it is made of permanent material. 🤷‍♀️ either that or the dust, tattering and moss is a fashion choice? 🤨🤨

Ok so for this next part let’s just like, put aside the weirdness going down with the wedding thing in the movie (btw I’ve seen it numerous times and I feel like it’s def “a green card thing” in the original as well, pay attention to the characters’ behaviors/interactions throughout the film with one another and u can see what I mean.)

Beetlejuice probably designed that red wedding dress right? Because he materialized it or pulled it out of thin air or whatever? And the matching red tux, same thing. I kinda think that was the fashionista in him taking the excuse to make dramatic evening wear lol. Using Lydia as a Bratz doll dressing her up in his designs smh

There’s also how jazzed up and amused he was by turning Otho into a walking fashion faux pas, or at least I have to assume that’s what he was doing when he ripped the guys outfit apart and replaced it with something that caused Otho to scream in terror. How tf does a smelly guy in a crypt know what’s considered a style no-no unless he’s into this shit lol

Oh and uh if you’ve ever seen the cartoon he dresses himself up in all sorts of little outfits on the fly, like very frequently. If nothing else he’s coming up with the concepts for these clothes, maybe not constructing them himself in every version of the franchise but he’s at least designing the outfits in all of them or so I assume. He also gives other characters makeovers or new outfits on various occasions. It seems for Beetlejuice, the living are like breathing Barbie dolls he sees no issue with dressing up in his latest creations.

I’ll now explain the “favorite color is red” thing:

*Beetlejuice doesn’t wear many outfits in the movie, but three out of the four I can remember had red in them. The aforementioned wedding outfits were primarily red. His shirt under the coat in the guide outfit is red. 🤷‍♀️ (Adams undershirt that he copies is red but I don’t rly think it counts) Whenever he’s seen wearing a saturated, non-neutral color, it’s red.

*didn’t he crash a little red car in the model at one point?… I just watched this movie again like last month and I forget already. That car in the photo, he crashed it into a fire hydrant earlier in the movie, didn’t he? Idk maybe not

*his tombstone has his name written on it in red

*toonjuice always has red nail polish 🤷‍♀️

*idk if this counts for anything but the nightclub Juno created to lure him away from the Maitlands was entirely red idk

*and the star Betelgeuse is a red supergiant, so yeah

Bonus entry is this guy a reference to Viy or am I overthinking it???

Yeah ok I’m def overthinking it. 🤦‍♀️

That’s all i have to say. All that crap above. Bye.

[suugrbunz]

Hi!! I’d like to request a mota ship, please :)

I’m an anthropology and linguistics double major, minoring in history and French (it’s a lot, I know). Hoping to go to grad school and eventually get my PhD. I just love to learn! My family even jokingly calls me the Human Dictionary because I like to know about so much. Some might find it annoying or snobby, but my intelligence is truly one of my favorite things about myself! Reading is one of my favorite pastimes. Sci-fi is one of my favorite genres of any media: movies, tv shows, books, comics. I’m just a big nerd. I listen to just about all kinds of music, except country. It’s just not for me lol.

I’m an extroverted introvert of sorts. Being with my friends and family is fun, but I love having time to myself, you know? I’m a very touchy person by nature, physical touch is my most important love language (giving AND receiving). I’m VERY opinionated and can be very blunt at times, which can come off a bit awkward, but most people are cool with that (I think?). I’m also very ADHD. My brain function is the equivalent of a laptop with twenty internet tabs open, five podcasts, a movie, and three songs playing all at the same time. But it’s nice when I can get my brain to slow down every once in a while, usually by reading or listening to music. Naps are also a wonderful method as well.

I don’t drink coffee, but I love tea. Just recently got into baking as a hobby. You’d be hard pressed to find me in a dress. I take my hair and skin care so seriously, it’s a whole regiment for me. I love to sing and dance (but that doesn’t mean that I can😭😂). Most of my teenage years and early twenties were spent not really liking myself, and that’s hopefully improved!

I know that was an endless rambling, thank you so much hahaha 💕

no because tell me why im majoring in anthropology and also want a phd + im in middle of trying to relearn french + Im into baking and cooking, like i love cooking for people mmm yes let me feed you!! anyway, I ship you with...

જ⁀➴ Harry Crosby

Honestly.... harry is probably into nerdy people (because he probably a nerd as well)

like he is probably the type that finds intelligence to be attractive

he's probably so happy to tell people his s/o is getting their phd like mmm yes theyre my smart cookie

anyway

no not anyway because what if he just asks you for a daily word like... that'd be so cute

you two probably met at a bookstore, can't even convince me otherwise.

he asked you about the book you had chosen, asking if you'd recommend it which he then realises is dumb because obviously you've not read the book if you're buying it??? and so he picks up a copy

Whilst you're in cue for the cash register, he manages to end up behind you, wow what a coincidence

more small talk

its awkward

He's awkward

BUT HE SOMEHOW GETS YOUR NUMBER?!

miracle frfr

first date is probably something lowkey

like lets just go eat at this family-owned restaurant he's been going to since he was a teen or something like that

people know him by name because obviously with my previous statement hes been here many times before!!

wanna share a milkshake? That might be fun, have fun kiddos

harry definitely falls in love first btw

first kiss? uh, happens on accident.

he thought of kissing you

didn't actually want to

You were dancing to some jazz whilst at home

he merely thought of it for like half a second

Next thing he knows, he actually is smooching you

apologising, profusely

so red in the face

mans made himself embarrassed to no end at this point

song song song !!!

My funny valentine by chet baker

you two were dancing to it and that's when he kissed you so it became important to him even though it makes him red in the face

[heresiae]

this.

this is long btw but I do think, as tumblers we do have a duty to discuss deeply about him. or did you forgot he was one of us?

I went through all the stages in like one hour and half.

till two months ago it was just th two allegations reported only from a New Zealand paper, no major outlets where covering and Tortoise Media was the only source. denial mode activated hard and I checked another couple of times till September.

then this Sunday evening I checked to see when the second season of Sandman was coming out and 100 tons bricks fell onto me.

GO only one 90mins last episode? everything else on hold? wait, it looks like the allegations were not just those two and TM is not the only one reporting it: there were two more? this one says it's FIVE?? probably more to follow??? he was doing and saying what to them????????

you fucking shit. you damn bastard. you despicable excuse for a human.

I went though all the emotions.

I mourned GO and Sandman and I remered Dead Boys Detective too. but it passed fast because using this hell site and the other one (Reddit) I read posts on the tone on this one (thanks btw). my brain started processing and anger kicked in. I despise him so much now, probably as much as JKR*.

because he was also one of us. he was our tumblr celebrity. he was on this fucking site faking being a nice human being, even a feminist. endorsing his fellow female authors. expressing his support for LGBTQA+. being nice, friendly and sarcastic. he was the "wait and see" guy. while raping women.

yes, AG was his first tv show but he became big thanks to GO, which was not only his. remember this: Good Omens was Terry Pratchett legacy too and you can see it very well. just go read his old works, especially Sandman (of course every fan of his immediately remembered Calliope and immediately realized he was describing himself as the main character).

another bad part of this shit? he is a gifted story teller, way more than the *witch. he has very good, original and compelling ideas and can write them. but we have to rember the latest productions are not just his work. lots of people got together and made Dead Boy Detective and Sandman way more enjoyable. don't believe me? go read it (no, you don't have to buy, fucking google it). read how crude it is. then do a search on his tumblr and find the posts in which he answer to a question why the tv Sandman is less cruel and more compassionate (long story short: he said he was a different man from those years and now has different opinions and pov). then reread the later allegations. yeah, right.

fucking hypocrite.

(also, start digging better on his portrayal of non white mythologies and characters from the POV of people actually belonging to those cultures. we do have another witch... and here I was thinking he was good at research and being fair to others cultures).

this productions were not just his. it was the crew and cast effort. they brought them to life and they made them very good.

I hope nobody forgot the latest struggles of media production people to have a decent livelihood from streaming platforms so I think you should be mad for them too. they were good projects, with a good possibility to go on. no only that, they were also quality projects.

how many of them are we having right now? and even if they're good, how many of them are allowed to have the necessary developing time to stay that way? (Umbrella Academy did not lose quality because they writers are not good, but because you can't write and produce a good season in less than a year).

this jerk ruined so much.

he physically and mentally hurt women forever. he made people to think he was a decent human being, giving us a false sense of "finally a good fantasy author" (this is the third fantasy author I had to revaluate; I'm so tired of this). he tarnished Terry Pratchett legacy too, because we will all remember how we didn't get a full season final of GO because of his inability to not be a jerk. I'm pretty sure that if Sir Terry Pratchett was alive today he would have gone full Granny Weatherwax on him.

I'm sad and angry and disgusted and it's my right to be. because his works were a place to escape for me and he made me trust him as a human being.

luckily I also came to the conclusion that I liked the show versions more than his original work and that's saying something about my perception, despite my autism (Sandman did make me feel uncomfortable... I didn't finish it. It's also frigging long).

it's our duty though, to recognize that hour loss can't be compare to the one of the people he hurt.

we can mourn our loss. we're allowed. just don't forget to despise him for this. it's his fault only.

(don't hate him. he's not worth it).

also, be happy, because as someone wrote on the many threads I read, we're finally seeing a famous white man being hold accountable of his shit quite fast.

and to the ones preaching death of the author think that: how many good authors with less charisma of NG are overlooked regularly because the bullies and jerks are able to push forward better?

times are changing. we want decent humans as authors, especially in fantasy.

because fantasy is supposed to portray the battle of good vs evil and the good is supposed to win. but you can't trust a bad person for a honest portrayal of which is which, especially if they have lots of charisma.

be aware of the wolf that writes little red riding hood thinking he's the hunter and not the wolf.

I'm just saying that if I was sexually assaulted by someone famous and all that their fans reacted with was "BUT MY BLORBOS' HAPPILY EVER AFTER :(((" I would start killing

[lunarsilkscreen]

"Boy Fiction" vs "Girl Fiction"

This is true no matter where you are in the world, that "boys" like adventure books, and "girls" like romance novels. In Japan, they even classify novels for [young men] and [young women] as 少年{Shounen) and 少女(Shoujo).

Though my poor understanding of eastern cultures might suggest gender as a spiritual thing more than a physical thing. (Despite still having a culture focused physical sex characteristics, "Men can feel girly as long as they don't think they're actually girls!" Just like the [Evil West]!)

Yes, this is where [VShojo]'s name comes from, and I'll get to what it means that they combine both variants of fiction together.

In some more historical contexts; these two variations of fiction are separated by "low and high" or "poor and wealthy" fiction. And the old "Girly Magazines" which men didn't buy (despite their proximity to the more raunchy magazines).

It was always a strange line dividing wealth along the sex divide. High fashion and models with designer bags are the same category and customer base as "Romance" and "Shoujo."

So a lot of customers, both Male AND Female (sexually and genderly) gravitate towards the low-fiction adventures, [Huckleberry Finn] type novels. Because feminity, around the world, is seen as both the thing women do, but also; only *Rich* women who can afford to. And if you're a Man that participates in that form of fantasy or self-care; you must be truly wealthy ... Or at least have more money than sense.

To clarify; Boy Fiction is about adventure and war and fighting, or you know; conquest. And Girl Fiction is about Romance and Social Aspects of everyday life, or you know; conquest.

<aside>And if you're wondering; that's the weird thing going on with the Video Game divide today; with certain games out of reach for an average player they truly believe it's for "wealthy players only".</aside>

So we see these two forms of fiction that say everybody poor is a man, and only rich women can enjoy the rich women fiction. ESPECIALLY ROMANCE.

It's not that Men didn't wanna read them; it's that Men can't afford to. (And also shouldn't; because it's improper.)

So Shounen entertainment appeals to all genders; while Shoujo entertainment which is encouraged to be enjoyed by women--and while both are separated by which toy aisle they most closely align with; Shounen has a much wider appeal. And because of this; Women enjoying these forms of entertainment can see themselves in the shoes of our leading male protagonists--despite being told that if they want to enjoy the medium; they should instead pick the "girl character".

And that's why there was this push to see more women in "Male" fiction despite women having their own thing! And why Shoujo fiction and "Girl Stuff" in general are seen as "Really Gay".

Because Heterosexual Men can't afford that crap; they have children to feed. But not the LGBTQIA! They have no responsibilities at all; and all the money in the world that they're syphoning from Black Entertainment now that they're the most valuable enterainers in the world and corrupting the youth and all that!

"Them wealthy Queers with no money AND nothing to spend their lack of money on are ruining everything!"

This is why VShojo is in a position to take a big portion of the media market BTW. They created something that is a blend of Shounen and Shoujo, despite their lean towards "women's fantasy:" their purposefully drawn sexual appeal (fan service) and male fantasy themes are in a position to capture all of the market, if they can figure out how to expand with over extending themselves. Provided they see the opportunity in front of them.

[harrowscore]

sooooo, yesterday i watched hotd s1 finale. here are my (semi-coherent) thoughts:

i've had one (1) day to simmer down my instinctive "wtf??" reaction and ponder on some writing choices - actually, two notable writing choices. first, this is no got s8 levels of disaster, but i'd already noticed a couple of red flags in ep9 and so i was - i am - guarded, though my emotional investment is nowhere near as high as my peak asoiaf/got era. i'm way more detached, and if i came off as pissed in some prev posts it was more of a general 🤷🤷 feeling concerning old disappointments in correlated or different media. (having said that, the larys/alicent feet thing is atrocious.)

i see they're still going strong with the childbirth from hell saga - i've already written about it in an older post, and i quite liked it, however gory and heartbreaking it was.

i don't buy the daemyra choking (not in a kinky way) scene. there's nowhere near enough build up for that. yes, daemon killed his first wife (which btw wasn't in the book) but they hated each other and she wasn't a targ. from d. pov's that's quite an important detail. (not that i’m excusing it, you know.) i don't even buy that "he's grieving that's why he acts (more) irrationally and with 0 impulse control (than usual)" because while he's ready for war and legitimately angry at the thought of his brother being murdered (tho viserys had been rotting away for years, last time they saw each other he could barely stand/talk, it was only a matter of weeks, maybe a couple of months at best before he died, they should have been prepared for this & the greens response) he doesn't act that out of control. let's be honest here: daemyra was always problematic and people shouting ~grooming! weren't completely wrong, but the writers also sold it as High Romance. the Stupid Fangirls weren't that blinded by their silly girly brains: d&r were framed as being genuinely in love despite the painfully obvious problematic elements. (& the incest is the least problematic thing here, since this is westeros and they're targs.) i think one of the directors even compared their love to what she feels for her own husband. so no, we weren't dreaming it up, they just couldn't find a balance between Toxic Incest Couple & Soulmates Being Soulmates, and obv they had to put a ~Bad Man is Very Bad, Girlies, Don't Try At Home~ bs Morality Play that seems so damn popular in this day and age. mind you, we all knew shit was going to hit the fan with nettles' appearance (i'm still worried about her portrayal, she's just a young girl and daemon is so much older than her, and i have no idea how they’re going to develop/frame their relationship) but somehow i had not foreseen him being physically abusive to his wife (who just gave birth to their stillborn daughter and lost her father btw). i was expecting him to lash out but... not like this. after their (fabulous ngl) wedding i haven't been much invested in daemyra anyway (i thought their decades long budding romance was much more appealing) but despite what i said above, one thing d/r fans were wrong about was expecting that hbo could actually make a medieval fantasy wuthering heights 2.0 and deliver lmao. no mainstream media would do that, not in the current ~think of the girls!!! climate. this is like believing that the star wars sequels were a gothic female-gazey romance that featured rey's sexual awakening + happy ending with the local parricidal ex darksider - the romance was there, don't get me wrong, but no hollywood-made pop culture piece of media could ever deliver. we also know d/r history from f&b, it's not all sunshine and rainbows... tho it's not comparable to jaime&cersei either. this is no valonqar situation - if and when that happens in asoiaf, motives and characters can't be compared only because d. and jaime share a love for poor impulse control and incest; the framing for their ~love affair and the choking act is also radically different. this feels like a punishment for the girls who tend to romanticize daemon and his feelings for his niece, as a "sharp reminder" of who he is and what is capable of (and that women, even dragon queens who are more than mere consorts and childbearers, can be victimized and have shitty husbands ig). except that however awful and poor little meow meow he may be, he didn't do any of this marital abuse bs in the book as far as we know. which brings me to:

i have a small problem with the people who say "f&b is no real account of the dance, these characters can't be written as ooc because we basically don't know them! it's all headcanons and bias!". theoretically i agree: there are at least 3 different versions of any major event, and what intrigued me the most about this show was the premise of Unreliable Narrator Extraordinaire. which path would these writers follow? because logically one should also say: "is this what really happened in the dance?" like, aren't these people (hired by hbo, paid a shitton of money, apparently asoiaf fans themselves) also writing down their own interpretations? unless grrm himself is behind everything (foot fetish and wife-choking included) who are these people to say this is what actually happened? they didn't create the characters and the plot etc., we're seeing them through their eyes and bias as well. why are the Poor Naive Girls who romanticized the Bad Dark Prince (aka they knew he was a big asshole but didn't think he had it in him to actually assault the woman he loves) the ones to be so awfully biased and affected by media illiteracy, to the point i’ve already seen the usual crowd online gloating over it like “ha ha the bitches had it coming”? one could say this is just another version of the dance... which would actually be more compelling imo. this also brings me to:

grandma vhagar being nostalgic of her war crimes era and gnam gnam lucerys to the oblivion. i have... very mixed feelings about this. i agree that making aemond more than an evil cackling anime villain is a good choice but idk about this tbh. idk how they could have spin it differently either tho, so i give up. people say "at least he doesn't actively seek war out so he doesn't look like an idiot" except he looks like an even bigger idiot because no one in their right mind would chase down their four-and-ten nephew and his dragon (said to be “five times smaller” than vhagar) through the sky while they're riding a huge ass fucking beast that could dwarf a mountain and actually fought in the conquest just to pick out his eye, and not expect it to horribly escalate. like, if you make two dragons face each other (especially if one of them is as powerful and ancient as vhagar is) what do you think is going to happen? realistically, i mean? maybe aemond didn't want to go that far but omg he should have foreseen this from a mile. like, sweetie maybe you didn't study your history and lore so well. and for the "he's just a teenager he doesn't know what he's doing" crowd: in a short span of time this ~poor baby~ is going to burn down the riverlands, hundreds of people will die. the incident that sparks the dance being an actual accident, tho... lmao sorry but that sounds like a joke. like, no matter how you spin it, if you like or love or hate it, it still robs the character of his agency, and therefore the story of poignancy. and i'm not even 100% sold on ~the dragons randomly eating people alive even when their riders strictly forbid them too~ because yeah, i can see that, a dragon is no slave and of course they're not mindless beasts but actually quite intelligent etc. but on the other hand i for one can't wait for drogon to fire up kl of his own free will - maybe he'll just hate that fugly city, who knows - so that ~dany (aka an actual 16 year old victim of rape and abuse who liberated thousands of slaves in a continent she was exiled to as an infant) is going to burn children alive and be put down like a mad bitch because that's somehow comparable to lotr shire chapter!!1~ disk horse can finally die its miserable death.

so, yeah, mixed feelings about these two (2) plot points, particularly the ~daemon is physically abusive now~ thing. also dk about whitewashing the blacks anymore, rhaenys killed a fuck ton of civilians in ep9 for no conceivable reason (something that in the books and in peaceful times only the worst of the worst are willing to do, no matter how much these elite assholes don’t care about the smallfolk) and now daemon is even more evil than he was in the book. aegon ii may be... well, aegon ii, but with aemond being somehow more humane and whatever they're doing to alicent the blacks are the ones that actually wreak more havoc - and i’m not even touching the blood and cheese thing. at least aemond's fuck-up kinslaying was accidental lol. jokes aside i overall liked this ep more than i did ep9 and while it’s not bad bad... no mistake, this is no high television either. i’ve seen what great tv can do (it’s exceptionally rare tho, more than people think) and this doesn’t look like it except for some acting choices + scenes.

[hekatekun]

hiii i really really love the way you write and the themes you touch on in your posts id love to hear if theres any books/media that influenced your writing style + the things you focus on in your analyses !

omg hiiii thank you<3 this got annoying so lemme put it under cut lol

This is actually really hard for me to pin down I've been racking my brains over this one. I tend to be a little bit of everywhere, just whatever catches my interest at the time. Most of my personal reading is nonfiction within the realm of philosophy/theology + history + english criticism; whatever fiction I do get around to tends to be horror and/or satire. House of Leaves by MZD actually has just about everything that tickles my fancy. Finally read it beginning of 2021 and I truly haven't been the same since. That's definitely a big one.

But to give you an idea here's the pile of books I'm looking at on my desk as I type this is: an anthology of John Wesley's sermons (founder of Methodism), House of Leaves, an anthology of Percy Shelley's poetry + prose, "The Sphinx in the City" essays on urban living + feminism, the communist manifesto, a dissertation on the influence of Hermann Hesse in Japan, "Thank God for the Atom Bomb" essays by a "conservative cultural critic", and how could i forget the 70pgs of the unabomber's manifesto i printed out.

Currently been slowly making my way through "Romanticism and Consciousness" which are essays on the historical/political background influencing Romantic literature. More often than not I tend to look for essays and critical readings of works before I actually do read said work proper. I don't recommend this btw I just never listen to my own advice. But like, this book inspired me to buy the Shelley anthology. And some of the essays in the Shelley anthology analyzing him I actually found online weeks prior and added them to my digital library. I'd rather read them physically, as I tend to highlight my books. I find highlighting + margin notes really help me stay focused otherwise simply Sitting And Reading makes me go a lil nutz unless the book really is that good. I backed an artist's first comic book that had me ensnared recently. Independent comics tend to do a number on me. Yes I'm still a huge homestuck fan. Will be going 8 years strong.

I reread Brave New World late 2020 after, somehow, getting my hands on it in middle school. Comparing the way the protagonist kills himself at the end vs trying to read Huxley's theological pieces, he should've stuck to the racist satire. I'm still gonna try to finish the Perennial Philosophy, though. All this rambling has me realizing the childhood series I grew up on was A Series of Unfortunate Events, so I think I'm starting to notice a trend.

But actually the biggest media type I consume is games I fucking love video games. I think I cried playing Disco Elysium. I wish more games understood its medium as well as DE. I think that's really what you have to find is stuff that understands its medium. Ososan is a show that is really fucking good at being a tv show, and I think it helps because it doesn't necessarily draw from anything prior because it's such a different beast from osokun (the ososan manga actually came out like a few months after it aired I learned recently).

I don't watch many movies or shows, and the ones I do make me really wanna read the original source material just so I could compare (A Clockwork Orange, American Psycho). I just last watched the Belladonna of Sadness and I think that's an animated movie that understands it's an animated movie. Why go for realism when you've got watercolors?

My other main criteria for any piece of work is that it makes me want to pick up smoking. I don't think I could explain this further if you asked.

Aside from. Any of whatever I just said. My writing background is largely academic with some journalistic experience. It makes media analysis really easy. It also helps that there's technically no wrong answer when it comes to critical readings, just like any school essay you just have to be able to back up your claims with evidence and articulate the connections you see. Prose is a new beast that I am attempting to tame but I think 1. You need to have fun with the learning process and I do in fact enjoy learning. This includes a willingness to examine and reexamine your own words even after you're done working on a piece and analyzing what you can/need to improve on. 2. I really enjoy being able to construct a sentence in a million different ways and I will always have a tab open for the Merriam-Webster dictionary-thesaurus while writing ANYTHING. 3. Did I mention having fun? I really have fun writing I love writing as a hobbyist. 4. Consume and question everything in equal measure. This will eventually produce something.

[pumpkinnning]

this is such an interesting question ! i find him fascinating now but i didn't like Nico at all when i got into f1 - bc i got in via an extremely pro-Lewis part of the fandom. but also tbh i just found his vibes really offputting. thinking about why has been really interesting

i think class is a big reason why. as a French person he really reminds me of a specific type of Southern European ultra-rich douchebag, the smooth elegant tanned and botoxed to hell who winters in Ibiza kind. when i was a kid my dad's job included shmoozing a lot of these guys so we went on vacation with them and their families sometimes (which was nice, not complaining, but also really weird, gave me a crash course in my god really rich ppl can be a special kind of pathetic) and Nico fits the vibe to a T. these are the guys that non-Europeans might see as a bit gay or effeminate. but the thing is, masculinity is a construct, and a very culture/class specific one. this type of guy can wear fine italian leather shoes, fancy colorful shirts, be very charming and affectionate w his family, has his pet charity projects, loves wellness hippie shit. but he's almost always gonna have conservative opinions and wow can he say rancid shit abt women/gay ppl/immigrants when pressed. he's not being gnc. at all.

in these circles open displays of macho aggression and physical strength and showboating ala American masculinity are considered vulgar and working class. high class dominant masculinity is first and foremost demonstrated by culture there. intellect, refinement, a certain kind of genteel affect and of course, being from the right kind of background that allows you to feel entitled and look down on others. that's what i saw first when i saw Nico, even though clearly that's not actually him. i can imagine that's also valid for some EU f1 fans/media that aren’t ultra rich. 

and ofc i know f1 is full of rich people. but tbh as a French person American style billionaires and their over the top antics don't feel real to me. and that is an ideal of being rich that generally presents itself as more attainable, meritocratic. everyone can do it, we're just regular guys who got started in a garage vibe. false, but it makes them more relatable, and 'average' people a lot less angry. (useful!) old money Western/Southern European vibes that show status through culture, though ? you will never be one of them. and generally you won't even know why but they will, and they will make you feel vulgar and worthless and ashamed about it. it gets under ppl's skin like nothing else. 

of course probably a lot of non EU fans can see Nico as typical coastal/city elite liberal disconnected from "real" masculinity/life/etc too it's not exclusive i think he has the kind of vibe that is hateable by a lot of different people for different reasons

that said Nico’s family is not exactly old money, right - at least his dad, who also seems like a very down to earth guy. idk about his mom. if he grew up btw Monaco/Ibiza/a fancy international school he was probably surrounded by ppl who were a lot more old money than him growing up, though. the kind that think getting your money and prestige through sports is fun and exciting like a circus attraction but you know, at the end of the day, tacky. and hearing him talk more, he does give a bit of a social climber trying too hard vibe. which, again, this is complete speculation, but could add to the impostor complex doesn't fit anywhere vibes. and now tbh Nico seems to me more like the type who just wants to fit in and prove himself rather than the type who wants to assert status superiority (aside from on the track). 

never been but i can imagine the world of f1 is excessively full of all sorts of status posturing. lots of boring privileged types from all over the world that want to buy into the thrill and macho, risky allure of sports, the meritocratic "i earned all of this through my own sweat tears and aggressive daredevil behavior" vibes. investing in drivers and mechanics like others invest in horses. at the same time the prestige, technological advancement aspect and insane amounts of money involved in f1 keeps it classy. i also think a lot of (male, older) f1 fans have similar fantasies when they watch, getting a bit of that prestige by proxy.

and when you have someone like Nico who is trying too hard (and not in the right way) and is awkward and a bit too earnest and overthinks things and doesn't easily fit in a clear cut category...i think it kind of exposes that the whole thing is a farce, actually, and i think that's (part of) why he is so hated

bottaslicious:

what is it about nico rosberg that irks people (men, mostly) so much

overall he’s intelligent, a good driver, good-looking, considerate of fans, generally manages to avoid saying shitty things

like i could see some people hating him over the fact he’s a second generation driver and had a foot between the door automatically (which is bullshit tho, a good name gets you only so far before it works against you since you have to prove you’re worth more than your legacy) and comes from a privileged background. still, it’s not like keke would’ve been easy on him, we’re talking about a man who had to pave his own way into f1 (there was a point pre-f1 when he was both the driver and press and wrote the articles of his races himself so yeah keke literally built the road he was walking) and got shit from every possible source - a man who taught mika häkkinen the value of money by giving him allowance so there was this f1 star at the beginning of his career living in monaco in an apartment furnished with one table, one chair and a bed - a man who very clearly said he wouldn’t want baby nico to become a racing driver. so yeah, keke has definitely been supportive of nico always but there is no way he’s let him just have what he’s asked for.

obviously there’s a lot of hating him bc he’s a threat to a driver they support because what better way to love your fave than to shit on their obstacles but it’s not like it explains it all; there’s just something about nico that rubs people the wrong way, especially men.

idk how much of it is linked to nationality - it’s always easy to support your country and nico’s just not your simple bratwurst. lewis’ fave thing in the world is to say nico’s not german, lewis’ fans with tinfoil hats love to scream “NAZI” every time nico does as much as sneeze at his direction, in finland nico’s nationality is basically a question of personal preference. he’s from everywhere until someone says he really isn’t.

if you take away his nationality and the fact he’s a second generation driver he’s just like any other chump from the grid yet he seems to arouse more intense opinions, everything from total hate to very aggressive “meh i don’t feel one way or another”. so. idk. maybe it was just a really bad timing for him.

I think about this a lot tbh.

I’ve probably only talked to a handful of people in real life about F1 and whenever the subject of drivers came up they were all completely baffled when I said I liked Nico. Even the ones who didn’t care much for Lewis didn’t really understand it. It’s funny because of all the drivers I support he’s probably also the one who I find it the hardest to articulate my support for, so whenever it comes up in conversations I find myself saying things like:

- He had to overcome all these expectations growing up because he was Keke’s son and the only thing you can say in terms of preferential treatment is that he was exposed to racing at a very early age and had a dad who understood the business but that will only get you into a kart when you’re a kid, it won’t keep you in F1 for so many years and with such great results. Nico earned his stripes and he did it with humility and grace. 

- He’s very intelligent and probably even a bit too smart for his own good. Like Daniil (also a real polyglot) who sometimes seems to overthink things and drive from the head instead of the heart - which can be great in some respects but more often than not it simply isn’t enough, especially in those oh so very crucial make-or-break moments. 

- I love the idea of him working so fucking hard to get to where he is despite not being as naturally gifted as Lewis. And he isn’t. He knows he isn’t. But he has oodles of talent and even more determination and drive and I respect that and admire it so fucking much. I stopped doing so many things because I wasn’t the most gifted kid doing that particular thing at that time and it was sort of like - well, what’s the point then? This is the point, you only need enough talent to build on and idk, I think that’s so awesome. 

BUT

All the while in the back of my head I know exactly why all those points won’t convince anyone. 

Yes, he’s intelligent but he isn’t particularly funny (actually that’s the most authentically German thing about him). He’s so literal sometimes it’s off-putting. He handles everything with grace but sometimes it’s way too much grace. Interviewers do all but spit in his face and he’s still playing at being a regal diplomat - but then every so often he drops the diplomacy, like he did in the interview this last weekend when he called Martin out for saying he’s too nice when before the problem was that he’s too mean, and it’s such a fucking delight to watch. You can see it in the comments that people make about him on twitter or in forums, suddenly they love him for a brief moment. Or when he let people hear the emotion in his voice when he said he wanted to go to the end in Abu Dhabi in 2014. Whenever he lets himself be genuine people find it so easy to love him - but he just does it so rarely. 

Yes there were expectations because of Keke but when people get to know him he’s so unlike his father that even if he became champion there would still be some disappointment in him for not having Keke’s personality and panache. 

And ultimately… yeah, the nationality thing matters. It matters because it makes him seem disingenuous. 

If Nico had raced under the Monegasque flag I think people would find it easier to understand him. 

It isn’t just that he very clearly isn’t German but that he tries so hard to be. All those posts during the World Cup/Euro just felt so staged, even if they probably weren’t. He wore a black armband after the Germanwings tragedy and while I’m sure he genuinely felt for what happened there was something… idk, it didn’t seem right somehow. It felt like a conscious move and there’s something about national grief that’s like familial grief, like the grief of the nuclear family. You can feel terrible for your friend’s family, or even, say, your cousin’s nuclear family, if they’re going through a tragedy but you can’t sit shiva with them. 

Nico’s Germanness feels like it was constructed by someone who read a Wikipedia page on how to be German. Like an undercover spy trained from infancy, all to prepare him to one day assimilate into the target culture. I bet if you asked Nico about German history or politics he would know more than Hulkie or Vettel (well, possibly) but their knowledge is probably a lot more personal than simply factual, it’s based on memories and feelings and the history of their own families and towns and their friends’ families and so on. 

One of our most powerful evolutionary traits is to be able to spot those situations where something just isn’t quite right, even if we can’t put our finger on it. That’s why we have such varied accents and dialects, so you can immediately tell if someone is a stranger. It’s probably why you can pick out tourists in a crowd in your hometown even if they’re dressed the same as everyone else. And Nico… idk, it’s almost like he triggers some sort of uncanny valley response in people. 

And yes, I agree, men seem to respond to him very strongly and not in a good way. I would think that some of that is probably the lack of bravado and his body language with other men. Like the way he shows affection by tucking his head into the other person’s chest and folding his body into theirs, he’s comfortable choosing to take a submissive position and some guys see that as a sign of weakness. He “lets” people get away with calling him Britney, with saying that he’s pretty… even though you can see it annoys him. He’s still so openly affectionate with his father, he embraces his legacy instead of running away from it. It goes against the whole “every son must kill his father” thing.  

Idk, why is it that with Nico I find myself rambling on for hours but I never feel like I explained myself at all? 

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

ok bhah ch11 my longest yeah boi ever

i’m literally... so excited I can’t even read it ok ok

oh no not the wedding invitations not this

i swear to god if we have to go through this wedding. knifeemoji

listen I have a fear that we’re gonna get the break up and the car accident same as canon dear god don’t put us through that either

no fears *literally everything that could make bhah more painful* several fears dot meme

god not the jamie invite. she cant even do it. another sign from god you are choosing to ignore

straight to Jamie’s house oh

lmao the red door I just worked out that’s a hill house reference from when I was wondering in like ch3(?) lol the inner workings of my dumbass brain never stop

“can we talk?” it’s happening what is happening

Dani was so tired of lying oh my god

my heart is literally beating so fast

alone in Jamie’s room bro wtf wtf

Jamie is just so soft and understanding always always aaaahhhhh

fuck she just wants out of this wedding so bad but she can’t even tell him

AAAHHH SHE KISSED HER OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING

fuck fgkjhdfkjgh this is not good oh no. Dani finally finally fucking doing something for herself and Jamie so aware that this cannot be happening like this right now

and yet both of them just falling into it anyway oh my goddddd

jesus christ jesus christ “Dani had half crawled into Jamie’s lap, kissing her with a fierce and fervent heat” I am on deaths door

god they’ve both wanted this for so so so so long I can’t believeeeeee

(i am so thrilled that y’all just went there right away btw)

“Please, just - I just want to feel how I’m supposed to.” oucchhhh Dani

god her just... knowing. after one kiss w Jamie that she can finally do it and talk to him and end it and it’s so terrifying but goddd yes

“You think I can ever say no to you?” oof

“Ask,” Jamie breathed. “Ask me.” fucking fuck the power of this line oh my god Jamie is so fucking ready to jump of a bridge for her it’s- the dedication the love the longing the everything I am going insane is it too early to start drinking at 1pm

you’re not you can’t NOT THE CANON DINER SCENE

fuck this is like watching a car crash i can’t look away it’s so fucking visceral and nerve-wracking and painful

but god I’m so proud of her for finally saying what she wants

oh thank fuck y’all didn’t take him out with a passing delivery truck

“You must have known. You know me.” oh god this sentiment always kills me

“She couldn’t say it — the words ‘I’m gay’ forever out of reach — so instead she said, “I can’t.”” my whole body is on fire oh my god this is.... too fucking real

jesus christ the near miss w the truck are u trying to kill me (i actually kind of love that Dani will have to deal w her feelings w him face to face instead of having to bury it all in grief like in canon I am so excited to see how y’all handle that)

a fucking HOUR in the car dfkjghdfkjh the torture

oh honey. literally both of them suffering so much ouch

her favourite saucepan pls this is all so awful and sad but that make me laugh so much the poor confused little duck I am glad she has her comforts

god poor Dani

"Is she here to cook something?"  fgkjdhfkgjhfkjgdf

“No. I think you’re brave.” oh

“We’ll figure it out." listen listen I am undoubtedly losing my mind god this is soft

“She had spent so long being asked and not asking. Never asking. She never dared. To ask was to be known, to be made visible, words forging reality as surely as a smith’s hammer. And yet Jamie waited, letting Dani gather the courage herself.

"Can I -?" Dani said, "- stay?"” please fuck I am just so !!!!!!!! about Dani getting to know what she wants and having a fucking voice. just !!!!!!!!

“Jamie inviting her in” fucking just both of them finally getting some of that quiet courage w each other I am yelling so much

“Dani knew that it wasn't just her feeling this, that it had never just been her.” YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT BABEY

““But you do?” Dani asked. “Want to?”

Jamie’s answering laugh was brief and incredulous. “You have no idea.”” I AM: HOOTIN. AND: HOLLERIN

“I am here” hello? hello I am not coping I am on another plane of existence. DANI FINALLY FEELING SO PRESENT AND WHOLE IN THIS MOMENT

god they’re just holding each other i’m tearing up. Jamie is her home

Dani finally sleeping through the night ow my fucking heart

Mikey’s so chill about all of this sdkdhfdkj I love him

Jamie going out n buying her favourite jam... god the tenderness. love is stored in the strawberry jam and the hairdryer

hmmmmm her attraction to Jamie is so closely tied to a lot of really hard feelings this is gonna take a bit to work through huh???

aw Jamie going to Carson I am so happy she has her little band of gays to help her rn

I love that she can just kiss her now when she gets the urge like maybe chill out a lil just landing all these surprise kisses but like good for u girl. good for both of u

the warmth of the house hmmmmm I love that she’s found this esp because she is perpetually cold and Jamie is always warm but keeps it like that for the kid (and probably for Dani too) aaahhhh

cgjkdfhkjgh Dani is so thirsty poor Jamie trying to keep them in check. these moments are so fucking loaded holy shit

Dani Jamie and Mikey are the cuuutest lil family aw

god the tentativeness between them trying to figure this all out and the casual intimacy and just. all of it is so much and so beautiful to watch unfold

i love this little bubble inside Jamie’s house and Jamie kind of drawing the curtains around them both physically and metaphorically while she lets Dani figure things out and lets it settle between them

it’s all about the hands

oh my god Hannah instantly asking if she needs a place to stay she really is the best

soft little mornings with her Jamie like... once Dani finally defeats the ball of guilt in her chest there is so much goodness to look forward to and I am v glad she has that right now even as she is still struggling a bit. my girl needs all the sweetness in her life

also the idea of Jamie getting to wake up to sleeping Dani in her bed every morning after a lifetime of trying to repress her feelings... god

heh she’s already figuring out all the ways to push Jamie’s buttons god these two are going to have some fun w each other

this idea of learning the creaking floorboards of a new home is so... warm

Jamie leaving all the curtains drawn for her oh my heart keeping her safe keeping her safe

Nan would be so proud of ms Dani u know it’s true

awww Mikey comin home to keep her company

Mikey Dani time is always so sweet I love them

my god Dani n Jamie are so intense w each other and just so full of fucking desire... when those floodgates finally open will they even survive

oof Dani is dealing with soooo much ugh. Jamie always there with a gentle way to bring her back down to earth tho my hearrrtttt

“You’re allowed to be happy.” she is SHE IS ty Jamie Taylor voice of reason

a pinky promise to deal with everything together awwww

“why are you so good to me” “you know why” oh my goddddddd. that’s so soft that’s so gentle that’s so much love

Dani finding little bits in herself in media god i love this

Dani Mikey hours best hours

god Carson... sweet boy. And Judy sending over a whole bunch of food oof just. these quiet little reminders of their love for her. Dani’s about to go through a whole bunch more emotions huh?

fkjdfkjgfh Mikey going into protector mode when Carson is there pls i love hm

ohmy “our room” aaaaaaahhhhh

god Dani expecting him to be upset with her I am so fucking emotional. I relate far too much to Dani in canon and in this story and it’s just. painful as hell to see someone go through the things you know hurt the most holy shit

please Carson is so sweet and understanding and telling her he’s proud of her is making me cry so much I can barely see

this whole like.. uncomfortable but relief-filled kind of coming out between her and Carson is so so beautifully done I can’t stop fucking crying

“God, you two were agony to watch.”  fglkdfgkjdfhkjgh Carson a voice of the people

“You deserve to be happy.” - Carson and also me and also everyone reading this

god he is so wonderful!!!!!! this reminder that she’s not alone and everything will be ok!!!!!!! Carson I love you so much

the box being described as “the beating heart of their childhood“ god the imagery

Jamie so sweetly making room for her and welcoming her into a home I am emotional again the tears have really been unlocked now I’m gonna be a mess the whole rest of this chapter (i say as if I haven’t been already)

the really sweet way Jamie gets her to open up and trust her with the things that have been on her mind

and Dani doing the same for her god this gentle honest space between them makes my heart feel so full I am just so happy that they’ve got each other

“I want you to stay.” please (also now I’m thinking about AE putting Stay on her Jamie playlist jesus christ I am being tortured)

they get... to wake up.... in bed together. i’m so close to crying again when will this stop

i kind of love there hasn’t really been any like... just no more kissing u know but we still get this insane intimacy between them in a way that’s not them shying away from the way they want each other but so carefuly and sweetly and honestly coming towards each other

awww them always waking up all tangled is so cuuute (also Dani feeling so safe and comfy with her that her subconscious is like lets latch on she is good she is home)

lmao Dani having to mediate between these two dweebs and their playfights is so good

Jamie having her lil family surrounding her aww

(also i just noticed the rating change oh god)

sfkjfhdg Jamie looking at her hips all dark eyes and wanting we’ve all been there girl

“you can look” BOLD DANI MY BELOVED

god these two........ the grabbing her silver chain god @ google how to breathe properly??????

“Then show me.” oh my god

fkgjhdfkj so much electricity they shorted out the power

“this is just as nice” when they’re just hugging please they are so soft

i love that there’s just like... gentle soft banter between them in these quiet moments so much

“Dani, give him more homework.”  ghrfjkhjgkjgh

god the heated cheek kiss

this ‘game of chicken’ god they’re just.... really in it huh this is so fun

hmmm Dani going through the suitcases and sort of being able to bring some of herself/her past into this new place is so nice

heh this lil family and their snowfights are so cute

:( she can’t bring herself to eat Judy’s food

Jamie bringing her flowers oh soft

ugh they’re just so softly melting into being together it’s so sweeeeeeeet

“You’re lovely.” and the way Jamie just sinks into her with Dani’s fingers in her hair pleeease I am dying this is so warm

aaaahhhh they’re dancing soft soft soft

“gray eyes fluttered closed, as though the weight of Dani’s touch was too much to bear” god i am..... aaaahhhh

“a gentle calm settling within her. It had seemed that for all her life she had waited for the quiet of this” y’all this is so beautiful and lovely and wonderful and all the good things

ah that kiss. kinda feels like their first real kiss where they just get to be god I am so happy “a profound sense of finally” oh oh oh that’s such a pretty concept

god I love how much they just want each other that second kiss and them just all over each other is perfect and having to try and reel that in and being able to because they know it’s not going anywhere please it’s so so good

god Dani vs Desert Hearts I love this callback and the entirely different circumstances of her watching it again

dsjfhdkjfh oh no Dani losing her mind at Jamie touching her knee god these two have got the biggest storm coming

dfkdjhkgdjh god them like.... trying to take things slow but still letting things happen while having to be aware of Mikey is so funny but I kinda love it and how indicative it all is of them being so grown up and able to approach their relationship in such a mature way. as much as I wish they’d had their teenage love story I do like that it’s unfolding this way now.

“it struck Dani then that she couldn’t remember ever laughing while doing this.” aww

Mikey’s “oh gross” hahahaha poor kid

god this is so funny

“ferret kid” jamie why are u like this sfkjhdfkjf

oh lordt it seems we have reached the unabashedly horny phase good show ol’ chaps

god they’re still so soft tho this is so fun to read

i looove how flustered they both make each other w just their presence. it’s just so !!!!!!

lmao Dani knowing exactly what to do to drive Jamie insane is fdkgfdkjgh perfect amazing show stopping more neck kisses more teasing more barely restrained desire i love it

“the reckless rush of being in each other’s arms” AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

lmaooooo Mikey Jamie is going to lock you outside if u keep doing this

the fact it can just fade back to comfortable companionship too is like. ugh i love them together

“Yeah. You can touch me whenever you want.” oh jesus

“No more interruptions, no more waiting, no more holding back.” it’s happening god it’s happening everyone stay calm (also the slow build to this point has been so fucking perfect y’all are writerly geniuses)

lmao Dani is like please can we just get naked why do u want to watch a movie I am literally right here

oh she is not waiting anymore THAT’S MY GIRL GO GET EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER WANTED I LOVE YOU

“What do you want?” god the tension

aaaaahhhhh just. them being so out of their minds with want but still all nervous and wanting to check in but still just. wanting this so much god this is *chef’s kiss*

lmao Dani already having the hair pulling thing figured out is so good. poor Jamie lol is she even going to survive this

god the fact they’re both still fully clothed n still getting this fucked up just making out n grinding on each other I love this for them

mum just came in to tell me dinner is ready I AM ALREADY EATIN GOOD

lmao fuck I am just... so thrilled for Dani finally getting to experience this get ur whole world rocked baby u deserve this

thumb in her mouth i-

“my idiot” pls that’s so soft

“You have me.” i know this is like. horny but it’s also so romantic sfgkjhdfkjg

ayoooo Jamie’s tattoo excuse me while I lose my mind a lil bit

my god Dani is so impatient to get her naked I love her for it so much “I just want to feel you”... ma’am

Jamie being all nervous is so cute aw

god having this lil moment where they just call each other beautiful n get all cute about it while they’re fully naked n grinding on each other.... perfection

god I can’t stop thinking about every other mention of Dani having sex w Eddie and it just being like adequate or like her not letting him touch her and now LOOK AT MY BABY GO SHE’S REALLY HAVIN THE TIME OF HER LIFE LITERALLY BEGGING TO BE TOUCHED LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO

I feel like I’m like cheering Jamie on rn sfjkghdfkj u guys need anything? some snacks? a condom?? ur doing great!!

Dani crying and thanking her like this is an acceptance speech love that for her

Jamie kissing all over her face aww

I can’t believe this whole chapter is them just getting to fall in love for real

“I want to taste you” i am blushing goddamn Jamie get it

oh my god the dream. she’s literally living out her dreams

“that same focused intensity that could make kingdoms fall” I love that Jamie is just as into getting Dani off as Dani is getting off lmao GOOD FOR THEM

Dani: desperately tryin to get Jamie off. Jamie: are u sure u want to tho??? miss ma’am let the girl touch u already she deserves it (but i do love that she’s always just like.... never wanting to make Dani do anything she doesn’t wholeheartedly want to)

“You sitting here on top of me like this is doing more for me than you can imagine.”  iconic jamie moment

Jamie literally just like.... ‘you can do whatever you want to figure this out’ is so sweet I love her capacity for just. giving herself over to Dani in every way (not just the horny ones) to let her forge her own path

“It was easy to understand now, the exhilaration of it, why people went crazy for it.” god I love this for her so much everything just falling into place

they’re so soft n comfy together and it’s all just so right and lovely

i love that once they’ve started they basically can’t stop honestly get it girls u deserve all the orgasms

“When did you know?” “Sixteen years.” oof my heart she’s known the whole time aaahhhh. all these lil memories god it really was all out of love I could cry. and Jamie admitting the scarf/scar thing whew she really carried around that moment on her face for the whole world to see (also lol at Dani being so fixated on it this whole time that’s so perfect)

heh they’re so cute with their lil teasing banter exchange

lol goddamn this so so spicy I am just dfklghfjkdjghkjdf (that is to say well fucking done I can’t even speak rn)

Jamie just being like you could literally just look at me and I am turned on I... love this whole situation for her so much

god they’re really just going all in Dani is getting like the.... lesbian sex speed run amen

oh god not Karen on the phone just hang up Dani do it do it

god she is so evil

omg she told her abt Jamie go off Dani I am v v proud of u right now

and she hung up on her godbless babe i LOVE your audacity

heh Jamie so transfixed by Dani’s lil purple sweater and skirt I love her

Dani u are such a tease sfkgjdfkg good 4 u tbh

awwww she got Dani’s desk for her oh my god that’s so lovely

Dani n Jamie being entirely not subtle over dinner w their lingering glances and Carson just laughing at them fkjghdkfjgh i love it. he’s so happy for them even w his teasing aw

aaahhh i just love Jamie giving her this space and this room in the house and Dani feeling so right in it

oooh an almost “I love you” god they’re just fuckin u-haulin in love perfection huh

and now we’re back to horny hours love this for them. gotta bless that desk somehow huh!?

i love the mentions of all this soft stuff about belonging when they’re about to rail each other it really rounds it out emotionally

“Get on your knees.” OH MY GOD THE JAMIE ON HER KNEES REDEMPTION MOMENT IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING

HELL YEAH IT IS this is truly what we all deserve

oh my god literally ripping her clothes off her fuck i love how desperate they are for each other and just how into this they both are always

dfgkjdfh jesus Dani are u ever going to be able to get work done at this desk again after Jamie does.... all of this to u on it

“Good girl.” the single most powerful sentence in the lesbian language

jesus christ this is still so incredibly steamy sdflkhskhg it never ends. and them like.... experiementing a bit w some different um. approaches? lol good 4 them good 4 them (and us)

my god them instantly getting all soft after about making each other happy please they’re so dang cute

ok love that we are also getting Dani on her knees it’s equality.gif

this little “I like you” “I like you too” confession right now is... so fucking soft and like... after everything they’ve gone through they still have the power to kinda knock each other off their feet w lil things like this huh?? sappy lil shits

oh no Judy I am scared

holy shit Dani “Didn't think you'd love me anymore” owwww my heart

god Judy is such a good mama I love her so much. reassuring her she’s still a part of the family my god I am so emo. she loves her so much

aw I love this lil shared bathroom scene after so many awkward moments w Dani and Eddie in their bathroom and so many mentions of her fogged reflection. things are finally clear and it’s wonderful!!

lol Jamie well if u didn’t want Dani to get all horny u shouldn’t have worn suspenders!!!!! it’s simple math!

god Dani has changed so much this chapter which only takes place over a couple of weeks right?!?!? after so much anxiety and being so unsure of herself this is so fucking beautiful to see

stop the car thing oh my godddd. she doesn’t even care about having her own cause she’s so happy w the person she’s sharing with I’m so overwhelmingly happy

“You’re perfect.” please I will cry this chapter was so perfect (also so are the memes I cackled so much)

[tackysapphic]

this is a post about my thoughts and feelings regarding physical media and it turned out kinda long and ramble-y so I’m putting it under a read me just to kind of. not clog y’all’s shit with it jdbjdbdj feel free to read if you’d like, I just. Had some words to say and wanted to get it Out :)) anyways i lov physical media it’s my best friend

sitting here thinking about physical media again and just wondering like. why did we move SO far away from it??? of course cds and dvds are still being made and haven’t ever Stopped but like the idea that it’s Weird or Quirky to want to own or use these things is baffling to me. Of course I understand the pros of streaming and digital media, they absolutely exist and I’d be insane to say get rid of it completely. But I genuinely do think it’s strange how far removed we’ve been becoming from physical, tangible media. Now of course a large part of this blame is on the corporations wanting to force people to keep shelling out money for endless subscription services and on tech companies for removing things like disk drives and USB ports from their computers and laptops for “””aesthetic””” and money reasons but like. I’d say most cars still have CD players??? and honestly cds are not very expensive like they’re cheaper than I assumed. And they last for SO long??? And you *own* it. You buy it and it’s yours forever, not just until whatever company updates it’s tos and adds in weird clauses or whatever the fuck nintendo does to its consoles or until you stop paying monthly for access or until whatever it is gets moved to a NEW streaming service that also costs 14.99 a month on top of the 3 other ones you gotta have. you know??? i mean with tumblr and the people I interact with online I feel like this is a fairly shared sentiment. I just have been thinking a lot and been getting increasingly frustrated with streaming platforms as time goes on. And honestly?? The fucking JOY I get from just popping a cd in my car and blasting that shit, or putting a record on while I clean my room is fucking unparalleled for REAL. even just simply putting a shitty movie like mamma Mia (which is a masterpiece do NOT get me wrong) into my laptop and being able to watch it completely uninterrupted and completely offline!! it’s genuinely so fun and honestly helps me separate from my phone a bit. like when you don’t Have to rely on one object for every single thing you genuinely feel a little bit better!! at least for me anyways. and btw these sentiments also extend to books (ebook and audio, bc there Are ways to actually own those also and those are good for a variety of reasons including accessibility) but I’ve never like. set aside books in the same manner as dvds and cds and vinyls, like books have always been there in their exact form so I feel like I don’t have to touch on that as much. idk!! i have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this topic, i could probably go on for a while longer but I won’t!! except to say this: genuinely, getting back into using these forms of media has done something for my mental health in a way I can’t quite explain. it just feels good!! Feels right feels natural!! and I hope more people get back into these things.

[alyblacklist]

Do you think the keenler storyline is going anywhere? I used to be sure that it was, I mean why else would they have them kiss and have sex. However now that Liz has been gone for five episodes and she is being quite mean to Ressler (the whole pointing a gun to his head and pretty much telling Cooper about them sleeping together) I feel like a relationship between them will never happen and the writers are just trying to make us forget or dislike Keenler.

Ok, on to the asks about Ressler/Keenler in 8x09 where things were said, but only through contact lenses and earpieces. Thoughts below the jump, because it’s a long post that will (hopefully) address all of these at least in part.

I do think it was Liz speaking through the doppelganger at all relevant times. They haven’t given me a reason not to think that at this point. She knew things only Liz could know. So I assume (unless we get new info) that everything Mia Collins said to Ressler was actually Liz telling her what to say to him (and likewise to Aram and Cooper). I did express to BlacklistRoom on Twitter that they were evil for having faux-Liz call Ressler “Donald” on screen before real Liz does. And at first, I thought maybe that was some sort of signal to Ressler that things were amiss because real Liz wouldn’t do that, but in the end I think it was just the writers playing their usual games. NOT because they hate Keenler or Keenler fans (they’re the ones who made Keenler canon, for God’s sake), but just because they love to toy with fan emotion. They give you a Wing Yee birthday nugget one ep, they throw in a loose “Donald” in another from the lips of a faux-Liz. They know exactly the emotional points to hit if they’re paying attention to social media (and they certainly are, to a point). 

I did catch that accurate observation on Twitter that the doppelganger did not have her finger on the trigger while pointing the gun at Ressler’s head. I’d like to think the actress and crew are careful enough to catch such things as her finger was nowhere near that trigger (and she knew how to shoot that unnamed FBI agent during the chase) so I hope that was purposeful, perhaps as a small signal to the audience that Liz never really intended to hurt Ressler, even though he of course couldn’t see what was going on behind his head. A nod, at least, to the idea that Liz doesn’t really mean to hurt him.

Before I get too much deeper into my personal impressions of the scene, I want to specifically address the anon who wonders if she’s alone in finding it hard to root for Liz or Keenler in all this.

Of course you’re not.

Darker Liz isn’t for everyone. If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me Ressler deserves better than Liz over the past five years, I’d be able to buy you dinner (even at NYC prices). Never mind how many have abandoned the ship over that exact issue or related issues over the seasons. But I also think you know that I don’t share your viewpoint. Maybe that’s why you send me asks, or maybe you’re just using my inbox as an outlet to find those who agree with you. I don’t know and it doesn’t matter (although I admit if it’s the latter, publishing your thoughts on your OWN page rather than in my inbox might be preferable because as much as I enjoy asks to a point, I’m a little tired of ship hand-holding asks. I like what I like and trying to explain it or defend it gets a little tiring.)

All I can say is after five years of deep investment in this fandom and these characters, it takes a LOT more than an absent female lead and a bumpy episode to capsize my ship and send me into the pit of despair. For me, this is the expected price we pay for the ship being canon now versus only at the very end of the show. The Blacklist has never been about showing smooth, happy, relationships. Angst, drama, tension is the name of the game. You have to decide for yourself whether you can stomach that on a week to week basis and especially this season because they warned us – “good AND difficult” – difficult!  - for Keenler. I reconcile the conflict by the fact that Ressler still WANTS Liz and BELIEVES in Liz despite her flaws and if he does, then so do I. The man has some blinders when it comes to Liz, certainly, but not the sort that they love to mock him for on screen. He’s not thinking solely with his male parts brain, he’s thinking with his actual, in his head brain and he LOVES this woman despite her crazy and I love that about him. He’s smarter than most people give him credit for. And I am also of the view that real life and ships do not need to be equivalents. You can love two flawed fictional TV characters without being a person who wants to see those things manifest in real life. (I also ship Wanda and Vision for the record).

So I think we can all agree that this episode – and Liz’s absence generally – has been more “difficult” than good Keenler-wise. Ressler himself told us in those early episodes before her departure that it’s different if you see her, and it certainly is. We’ve been robbed of Liz’s thoughts and emotions entirely ever since she last graced our screen in Ep. 8x04. (And of Ressler’s reaction to said departure, for the most part). At the same time, I think Liz recognizes that too as she hasn’t to our knowledge directly engaged with Cooper, Aram OR Ressler since she left except through surrogates. Purposeful choices on the part of the diabolical writers.

As I said in my earlier ask response tonight, I remain of the view that Liz is in control of her actions and is doing her own risk/benefit assessment in how she responds to the situations she finds herself in. 

I do NOT think that means she has lost all emotion or feeling for Cooper, Aram OR Ressler, but as she explained to Townsend, “Reddington has an army on both sides of the law. I can’t do this alone. I need a partner.” She believes that the Task Force – all of them – are tied to Reddington in their own way, including Ressler, and she doesn’t expect them to violate those arrangements/principles for her. She’s moving outside the boundaries of those relationships to shed light on the secrets that she believes are being kept. Did she involve them this week?  Yes, but I think only because Townsend forced her hand on dealing with his sister. I doubt she would’ve sent her double to the Post Office otherwise. (I totally agree that the Post Office needs better security protocols btw – the idea that Liz can continually breach their defenses has become absolutely laughable at this point).

But, part of that is personal relationships.  She needed Ressler to give her the door codes and he did. Why? Not because he’s her patsy or her f--- boy or whatever derogatory term someone wants to slap on him (!), but because he loves her, flaws and all. The whole letting her go/letting him go thing has always had double meaning, back to S2. 

Cyranoid Liz: You should let me go. Ressler: Those days are over. Cyranoid Liz: Why? Nothing’s changed.

Has nothing changed? He let her go in S2 and then she shot Tom Connolly and he beat himself up over it. Then, the “I can’t let her go” (Ressler pointing the gun in S3 outside the Russian embassy), followed by that car chase and then Red in the next episode, Eli Matchett:

Red: Ressler is a law-enforcement robot. The FBI winds him up– Liz: That’s not true. He’s a person. He’s a good person. Red: Look at me. You need to let that go, Lizzy. I have survived for a very long time now, and I assure you, I didn’t do it by relying on the goodness in people.

I’d submit it has and it hasn’t. All these seasons later, she is once again having a hard time letting him go and so is he (with respect to her).

Ressler: Why’d you call? Liz: I don’t know. I guess– because every time we say goodbye, I’m afraid we might actually mean it.

Both with eyes open wider this time and yet, still wanting the peaceful night, free of all the distractions. 

Yes, he let Liz’s double go physically without much protest. Emotionally? He hasn’t let go of Liz. Not one bit. And Liz saw that, through her cyranoid. He’s still on her side. He still wants to believe in her, no matter what she’s putting him through (and poor Ressler, he’s really enduring a lot – though I hope the tide will turn on that at some point).  He had no reason to open that door, and yet – he did. He doesn’t want that one night to be just ONE night and deep down, I don’t think she does either.

“I won’t give up on you.” 

He hasn’t, yet. “But I still need to do my job, Keen.” She better not push him too far because the day he does is the day I worry. He’s desperate not to repeat the mistakes of the past, he’s desperate to trust her this time. Not because he’s thinking with his small man-part-brain, but with his HEART. He loves her. He’ll do anything he can for her within the limits of his conscience. They are each others’ second chance.

I don’t view Keenler or Ressler’s feelings for Liz or Liz’s manipulations of Ressler as fatal to the ship because I accept that this whole thing – Liz’s mission – is the battle for her soul  that the writers have teased for years . Which side will win? Hopefully the right one. The hopeful one. The one that makes second chances happen.

Cheers.

[acridid-s]

"Ohh buhuhbubuhu, the song isn't on Spotify", bro so what if it's not on Sp*tify, if it's not there, it's either on Bandcamp or heck even Amazon, OR Soundcloud, or at the very least Youtube. Buy it or find yourself an MP3 convertersite and download the goddamn thing. Seriously, why are people these days just okay with being at the mercy of streaming services when they want to listen to music?? Actually, same goes for visual media btw, what if the streaming service ever takes that shit down for whatever reason, or your wifi gets shitty or dies!? Download MP3/4s, buy DVDs and keep that shit safe so it can never be taken from you unless someone physically comes to your house and empties your CD shelf or deletes that shit off your harddrive.

[metal-patches-vinyl]

Came from Insta to ask you what are probably the most blasphemous questions you've read, to date: As a person who has never owned nor bought physical music copies, why do people, (aside from obtaining exclusive merch and supporting the artist) collect vinyls/records (and especially tapes and CDs) when a near-infinite database of studio-quality music tracks (Topic) and fan-remixed music tracks (such as AJFA with added bass) exist on YouTube?

I know Bandcamp directly supports the artist and their music, though what is the appeal in having several different versions of musical formats (vinyl, tape, CD, etc.)?

Why do people continue to heavily seek out first-press and Japan(ese)-edition vinyls? Are there really night and day differences between US and Japanese vinyls? What about CDs?

Why should and shouldn't I have an interest in physical music copies and/or having a collection?

From what I can tell, fans (understandably) want to support artists as directly as they can manage.

Thank you for the awesome recs, btw. I have and continue to discover lots of albums through you.

These are great questions! I can’t speak for most other people, so I will answer based on my own personal perspectives.

I’m 44 years old, and first got into music when I was about 12. Back then, the only way to listen to music was to obtain physical copies of the available media. I grew up in a very conservative part of Utah, so finding metal music took a lot of effort (especially without a driver license). Acquiring albums required so much planning and effort that I came to appreciate every one I bought. I listened to them repeatedly to milk all the possible enjoyment they could offer. Through this exercise, I forged a deep bond with the music, and ownership of something physical felt special.

When MP3s became I thing, I jumped on the bandwagon and practically lived on Napster (I was in college…the perfect timing). I acquired thousands of files and initially felt like a king. Then I discovered what I call “the tyranny of choice.” With practically the entire library of recorded music at my fingertips, I had trouble picking anything to listen to. The indecision was nearly paralyzing. The files were easily available and accessible. None were particularly cumbersome to acquire, and thus no bond was formed. I realized that the majority of what I had acquired lacked any real significance to me. Stated differently, all that music was valueless to me. I went back to collecting physical media again.

Everyone utilizes or consumes music in a different way. Some keep it on as background noise, or put it on for drives or workouts. I treat music listening with deep focus and attention, always trying to forge an emotional connection. When that connection is made, it’s a magical moment. I’m grateful for this, and want to make sure the artist has my support and thanks. I feel like my dollars are well spent by purchasing the artists’ work. If an album is particularly good, I’ll buy it in multiple formats to increase that support (I don’t do that too often).

I like to display my albums in my listening room, kind of like trophies. They are visual reminders of the audio adventures I’ve had listening to them. I really like the cover art that appears on metal albums. There’s no comparing a 12” x 12” album cover with the postage stamp size image on a phone screen.

I don’t usually try to collect old first-pressings or Japanese imports (I do try to get 1st pressings when they are new, though). Japan historically had a reputation for good vinyl pressings because the pressing plants would limit the amount of copies that would be pressed from each stamper (American and Euro factories would wear them out, leading to what some believe to be inferior pressings). This isn’t something you’d notice without very high end equipment and bad luck with a domestic pressing. As far as I know, CDs are the same everywhere. Japanese CDs usually have bonus tracks because the cost of imports from the US was actually less than the cost of domestic CDs in Japan; they needed an incentive to get people to buy locally made product.

Record collecting requires a lot of time, physical space for storage, money, and a good stereo to make it worth it. If you only listen to music on a pair of cheap headphones plugged into an iPhone, then perhaps a physical collection is not something you should be interested in. But if you like immersing yourself in the worlds conjured by the musicians you love and can afford a good setup, there is much joy to be had in collecting. You’ll befriend great people who share your addiction, and achieve satisfaction from beholding your collection as it grows. All the while, you’ll feel like you’ve contributed to the artists who have helped enrich your life. When your musical focus is underground extreme metal, you have the extra satisfaction of knowing that your money is especially appreciated and noticed by those from whom you purchase things.

Thank you so much for your kind words and for following my page! Hit me up with questions any time!

[orthodera]

Hi! You can call me Sparrow :)

1. Cisgender female, homoflexible, asexual, greyromantic/arospec

2. I don't think I really have haha. Labels are confusing, which is why I tend to favour more forgiving ones. But identity isn't just labels. What I do know is that I have never experienced sexual attraction to anyone (excluding a small number of fictional characters - not actors btw! just the characters). I started questioning when I was 13. I figured out I was sapphic immediately, but questioned what it meant to be asexual for a few years after that, then spent even longer questioning if I fit into that box. I finally accepted the label in 2022, at age 19.

Aromantic is a trickier one. For many years I thought there was no way I was aromantic, because I have experienced romantic attraction. About a year ago I realised I am on the aromantic spectrum. I experience romantic attraction to fictional people very strongly at times, but very rarely experience it with real people, and often it is not very strong or doesn't last very long. I also really struggle with telling the difference between romantic and platonic attraction, which may be an arospec thing, an autism thing, or just a Lack of General Human Experiences thing.

I think the absence of something is much harder to identify than the presence of something is. So I find aromantic and asexual to be much harder labels to identify with.

3. Well as I said, the absence of something is harder to identify than the presence of something. Many of the 'representation' I saw growing up, and still today, was characters who weren't actually intended to be asexual/aromantic. They were just characters who showed little to no interest in romance or sex. Which is cool and awesome, but not the same as a character's identity being explicitly talked about and explored on screen.

4. I struggled in the sense that it's deeply confusing to discover you don't experience the same emotions that many other people do. But I wouldn't say it affected me too much.

5. Not... Generally? But I think it has been hard for most people to understand that I genuinely have no interest in sex with other people. When I was 16 my parents bought a pack of condoms that were specifically for me in case I needed them and/or felt too shy to buy them. Which I recognise is good parenting but it really kind of... Freaked me out? I was pretty upset about it for weeks afterwards haha :')

6. Absolutely! Not even necessarily in a 'helping me realise my sexuality' or 'realising it's okay to not feel these things' way, but just generally in a 'helping me realise that all humans have different experiences and see the world differently and have their own different life goals' kind of way! Diversity is so so important to show in media for many reasons. I definitely think I could have figured out my sexuality and became comfortable with it much more quickly if I had seen characters on screen openly talk about what it was really like to be asexual.

7. Sexuality is a spectrum, and I think society is only just beginning to grasp that concept. You may feel sexual or romantic attraction to people with certain genders, certain physical attributes, or certain personalities. And you may feel sexual or romantic attraction to lots of people, or only some people, or very few people, or none at all! You may feel sexual attraction without romantic attraction, or romantic attraction without sexual attraction. You may feel sexual/romantic attraction without having any interest in sex/dating, or you may have an interest in sex/dating without feeling sexual/romantic attraction! Experiencing attraction in all kinds of different ways is totally normal- we are, after all, all different people- and I think it needs to be talked about more.

(the same could be said of gender btw!)

Hi it's Hampter and I got questions for aroace indivdials or aro and ace peoplle.

I am doing research project for school about rep for aroace people in the film industry but I would like some of everyone's opinions.

I can't use our aroace experience blog as a source because I didn't actually "interview" them. All quotes will be anonymous unless you give me a fake name that I can put down.

What do you identify as?

When did you figure out your sexuality?

What representation do you see in today's world concerning aroace individuals?

Did you struggle with coming to terms with your sexuality?

Did coming to terms with your sexuality hurt any aspects of your life? (Friends, family, relationships etc)

Do you think you would have benefited seeing characters in tv shows/movies growing up if they had aroace characters?

Is there anything you would like people to know about what being aroace means to you, or anything you would like to say about it?

You can answer all of them or some of them. You can DM me or reply in the comments.

Hugs!<3