#that's why i didnt put the number there

[heartorbit]

figure skating set right now please. thanks

[xxplastic-cubexx]

reading Krakoa era out of order bc reading lists online make it confusing and my local library only has so many books

just as god intended right on my friend you're doing everything right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise

[becauseplot]

Penciled Lines

(Cross-posted on ao3, if you prefer to read it there. Reblogs still appreciated!)

Missa wakes up, and he thinks he might be doomed. This doesn’t scare him nearly as much as it should.

Missa is awake early—by his own metric, anyway. His nocturnal nature causes “early�� for him to mean “early night” and not “early morning.” Regardless, “early” means that Philza is not asleep yet, still going through his nightly rituals. “Early” means that Philza is sitting up in (his? their?) the bed, pillows propped up behind him, notebook in his lap, sketching away.

And when Missa wakes up to the soft scritch-scratch of a charcoal pencil on textured paper, his forehead just so happens to be brushing Philza’s hip.

Missa can hardly breathe.

Oh no.

He knows that if he gives any indication that he is awake, Philza will stop sketching, close his notebook, shift himself over until he is politely seated on his side of the bed, and greet Missa with a friendly smile. Philza has done it before, when Missa wakes up early. That’s how Missa knows he’ll do it again.

Thus, Missa can hardly breathe—his breaths have to be the slow in-out of sleep. He can’t so much as twitch, either. He has to keep quiet and play dead or else he’ll be found out. Seen. Caught living the lie.

“Husband,” Philza calls him. They’re not married. They share a bed. They’re hardly ever in it at the same time. They have a son and a daughter. Neither of them know Missa very well. Philza has had an extra set of armor and a skull on his backpack for months, waiting for Missa. Missa doesn’t even know Philza’s last name.

Philza is a good man and a good friend—and Missa doesn't deserve him. Still, he takes what he can get. Curls around it. Hoarding every innocent kindness Philza extends like a starving creature: the generosity of a backpack fully stocked with equipment; the trust Philza places in Missa to watch the kids when he’s asleep; and now, the courtesy of not moving his hip from Missa’s forehead to ensure his “sleeping” isn’t disturbed. Missa clutches all of these little offerings in his greedy claws and hugs them into his chest, even as the guilt eats away at him.

Because, regardless of the lack of mutual feeling, he loves Philza. He loves him so, so much, and that is why he is doomed. He can’t afford to lose what little he has. He can’t cross that line. 

So Missa lies beside Philza, forehead pressed against Philza’s hip, pretending to sleep so he can imagine that they’re not just lying in bed together, but lying in bed, together; and later, when Missa truly wakes, he will sit on his side of the bed and look at Philza’s face soft with sleep and think about how lucky he is that he still has a side-of-the-bed to begin with.

Missa doesn’t mean to drift off. When it starts to happen, he’s hopelessly torn between shaking himself awake and thus giving himself away, or remaining how he is, silently fending off the inevitable. In the end, Missa clings to that scritch-scratch sound of Philza’s pencil on the paper for as long as he can before the fog at last pulls him under. 

Eventually, he dreams. In fact, he dreams of the calloused fingers he dreams of every night, hands like his own, an artist of Death, cradling and shading the contours of his face—a softness dashing charcoal across his jaw, and over his cheekbones, and perhaps on his lips, too, if he’s lucky. Defining every edge of him.

~*~

A deep sigh. Phil stops sketching as Missa shifts in his sleep. He tilts his head up so that the tip of his nose is now just nearly brushing against Phil’s hip. The motion disturbs the wild splay of his dark hair, revealing more of his face: eyelashes, cheeks, warmth. Tender blush of something Stygian and otherworldly. New.

Phil’s lips tilt upwards. He turns to a fresh page, and he starts again.

[batcavescolony]

I was talking to an idiot and I need validation.

[starlitflowers]

Saw this post and got inspired to find some numbers

On AO3 there are 315 fics tagged Ashton/Orym

Of those 315, 186 are tagged 'other' (59%). Of those 186, 62 are also tagged as m/m (33% of fics tagged other, 19% total). And from what I can tell, of those 62 only 19 of those fics have another m/m relationship (30% of fics tagged other and f/m, 10% of fics only tagged other, 6% total fics)

On the Callowmoore side, there are 108 fics tagged Ashton/Fearne

Of those 108, 67 are tagged as 'other' (62%). Of those 67, 8 are also tagged as f/m (11% of fics tagged other, 7% total). And from what I can tell, of those 8 only 3 have another f/m relationship tagged (37.5% fics tagged other and f/m, 4% of fics tagged other, and 2% total fics)

So in conclusion, callowmoore writers are more likely to tag their work as other, and less likely to tag both other and f/m than ashrym writers are likely to tag as both other and m/m

Feel free to check my math/numbers, I just thought it was interesting to point out

[arolegos]

im over it but if she messaged me now i would respond in a heartbeat

[risingsunresistance]

twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao

[ourstarscollided]

You’re welcome to explain your answer in the tags!

[thedrotter]

disastrous event from this afternoon during class ... my chrome opened on ao3 of all fanfiction sites with my user open and i didnt know

[lesbiangiratina]

Sleepy and bad with numbers but i think im only missing 10/153 cards from the reload set. Which is nuts. 1 of them is a fancy full art between kliff and dizzy. And the possibility of it being a testament card is going to haunt me until i have any evidence otherwise

[aspiring-prototype]

19, 26, 28, 35, and 84 for this ask game :)

Thanks for the ask, Nova! :)

And beware. Ask deep questions, get deep answers/j

19. What does your URL mean?

I'm not too sure myself. I've taken it as my desire to keep making art and whatever thingamabobs or whatchamacallits that come to mind. I "aspire" to do so many things. I've started resin, painting, drawing, digital art, animation and am thinking on doing crochet and writing fanfiction. So many things, so little time and energy.

For "prototype", it refers to the state I often leave my spontaneous projects in. It's very hard for me to stay focused on one thing, I switch between 2-3 at a time. I frequently leave them incomplete, promising to finish them later only to forget. And when I do finish something, I'm not happy with it, so I put it aside to improve on later. Which I also forget to do.

But if we're talking about why I chose this URL, it all happened one dark, stormy night...

I had asked my friend for suggestions as I always have trouble naming things. First was one with my name, so that was crossed off. Then she put forth "aspiring-prototype". Immediately I went YES.

I still don't know how she came up with that. Can't ask her though, we don't talk anymore.

26. Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Nope.

No way.

I have much to improve on, and so much more to do. I have issues I struggle to deal with, conditions I struggle to handle.

But I'm getting there.

But I don't think I'll ever be completely happy. I'll be content for a while, but then remember there is always room for more growth, more improvement.

*Putting a cut here, next few questions involve some religious stuff and answers. Not too much. Hope that's all good.

28. What’s your biggest “what if”?

For this question, I do not think about this, for religious reasons.

If something has happened, it has happened for a reason. As a Muslim, I believe in Qadr, or simply destiny, that everything has been preordained by Allah ﷺ. But that doesn't mean you have no control or choice in your life.

I don't look back in that way, I only do so to reminisce in past events. I'm grateful for whatever's happened, and whatever had followed.

35. To you, what is the meaning of life?

This is also be more on the religious side, so feel free to skip.

To me, it is a mix on what I believe in and my own general views.

As both a Muslim and your regular human neighbour on Tumblr.com, I believe that I was put in this life as a test. That I must prove my taqwa (piety) through my actions, and to worship Allah ﷺ. I have a purpose, He has already chosen it for me. I just gotta go out into the world, discover it, and have full trust in Him. And to always live in moderation, there's an hour for this, there's an hour for that. Life, in general, is simple. I can do whatever I want, if I have time and if it abides with my religion.

Have fun, make friends, stay safe and stay true to yourself.

84. What is a saying you say a lot?

Ur...

This one's tricky. I don't do small talk much or have that many friends in the world off the screen, but here are things I just say. A lot.

Not really sayings.

"Adoih" is Malay for "come on." I generally use this when I hear of someone's mistake, especially ones that could of been avoided.

"Alamak" means "oh dear." I use this one when I've dropped something or banged a knee. Or when bad news arrive.

[berrymeter]

why..... am i still awake......... coughs like i dieying

[voidcat]

once again at my wits end bc of men

[starburns]

i hate being a girl in public and i hate creepy men and i hate that GROSS shit just happens to me and I habe to move on

[sereniv]

i am so fucking sick of the antisimetism coming out of this

god i have so much to say i just cant

zionists dont touch

[stiffyck]

someone fucking kill me