#that's what makes these elements so great

[swimmingbirdrunningrock]

“To him who in the love of Nature holds

Communion with her visible forms, she speaks

A various language; for his gayer hours

She has a voice of gladness, and a smile

And eloquence of beauty, and she glides

Into his darker musings, with a mild

And healing sympathy, that steals away

Their sharpness, ere he is aware. When thoughts

Of the last bitter hour come like a blight

Over thy spirit, and sad images

Of the stern agony, and shroud, and pall,

And breathless darkness, and the narrow house,

Make thee to shudder, and grow sick at heart;—

Go forth, under the open sky, and list

To Nature’s teachings, while from all around—

Earth and her waters, and the depths of air—

Comes a still voice— Yet a few days, and thee

The all-beholding sun shall see no more

In all his course; nor yet in the cold ground,

Where thy pale form was laid, with many tears,

Nor in the embrace of ocean, shall exist

Thy image. Earth, that nourished thee, shall claim

Thy growth, to be resolved to earth again,

And, lost each human trace, surrendering up

Thine individual being, shalt thou go

To mix for ever with the elements,

To be a brother to the insensible rock

And to the sluggish clod, which the rude swain

Turns with his share, and treads upon. The oak

Shall send his roots abroad, and pierce thy mould.

Yet not to thine eternal resting-place

Shalt thou retire alone, nor couldst thou wish

Couch more magnificent. Thou shalt lie down

With patriarchs of the infant world—with kings,

The powerful of the earth—the wise, the good,

Fair forms, and hoary seers of ages past,

All in one mighty sepulchre. The hills

Rock-ribbed and ancient as the sun,—the vales

Stretching in pensive quietness between;

The venerable woods—rivers that move

In majesty, and the complaining brooks

That make the meadows green; and, poured round all,

Old Ocean’s gray and melancholy waste,—

Are but the solemn decorations all

Of the great tomb of man. The golden sun,

The planets, all the infinite host of heaven,

Are shining on the sad abodes of death,

Through the still lapse of ages. All that tread

The globe are but a handful to the tribes

That slumber in its bosom.—Take the wings

Of morning, pierce the Barcan wilderness,

Or lose thyself in the continuous woods

Where rolls the Oregon, and hears no sound,

Save his own dashings—yet the dead are there:

And millions in those solitudes, since first

The flight of years began, have laid them down

In their last sleep—the dead reign there alone.

So shalt thou rest, and what if thou withdraw

In silence from the living, and no friend

Take note of thy departure? All that breathe

Will share thy destiny. The gay will laugh

When thou art gone, the solemn brood of care

Plod on, and each one as before will chase

His favorite phantom; yet all these shall leave

Their mirth and their employments, and shall come

And make their bed with thee. As the long train

Of ages glide away, the sons of men,

The youth in life’s green spring, and he who goes

In the full strength of years, matron and maid,

The speechless babe, and the gray-headed man—

Shall one by one be gathered to thy side,

By those, who in their turn shall follow them.

So live, that when thy summons comes to join

The innumerable caravan, which moves

To that mysterious realm, where each shall take

His chamber in the silent halls of death,

Thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night,

Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed

By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave,

Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch

About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams.”

-William Cullen Bryant, "Thanatopsis"

[see-arcane]

You know the one good thing about being a pessimist?

It feels great to be proven wrong.

Bravo, Bobby Egg.

I was so happily surprised by this. This film went through a fantastic puberty between the leaked script and the screen. The main points to note:

-No, Ellen is not hot for Count Orlok. She and Thomas are 110% in love. There are even certain Harker-flavored quotes thrown in to prove as much. (Details under the cut.)

-Count Orlok is a terrifying bastard and a half. Significantly more imposing than classic Orlok’s spindly rigor mortis-stiff figure and only wearing a sliver of Dracula’s performative charm. He is a Devil-Death archetype playing a monster who operates in deceit and contracts to wring out what he wants. That and a lot of corpses.

-This film is so beautiful. No gothic touch is skipped.

In sum, I more than like this film. I love it. It isn’t perfect, because no film can be, but damn. I am so proud of this nightmare you made, Bobby Egg.

SPOILERS FOR Nosferatu (2024) BELOW

-Getting some cons out of the way. There are points where a few of the actors lean maybe a bit too heavy on the ham-and-cheese in their deliveries (I’ll not blame the kids, they’re very young, but yeesh. That’s some cartoon acting.)

Yes, the g-slur is still used; though while I wish it hadn’t appeared in Eggers’ script at all, it does make sense within the context of the setting, i.e. Thomas and the Innkeeper probably only having the one word they know, same as in Dracula. And yes, naked teenage girl-on-a-horse does happen for the vampire hunt scene. Whee.

-Now, an early pro: Eggers nixed the ‘hot teen girl tries to pickpocket Thomas’ bit, and the ‘land of phantoms and thieves’ line never happens. All that happens after Thomas wakes in the inn—post witnessing the vampire slaying in the local graveyard, mud on his shoes to prove it was real—is he discovers himself utterly alone. No people, no horse. Cue the long walk.

-Ellen doing the ‘Come to me,’ bit early on is her in adolescence. It’s revealed that her Weird Girl elements have been turned up to 11, tragic lonely past included (replete with dad threatening to send her to a madhouse), and her prayer was just for company. The psychic ping was picked up by Orlok, who took advantage, turning an isolated and desperate barely-more-than-a-kid’s wish into a ‘covenant.’

-Thomas was met not long after this, cue them being genuinely in love <3

-Knock Does Not Jerk Off On Screen. If he does, his back is to us, and Little Knock is covered with some occult tablet or suchlike while he’s doing his ritual business. Also he kills a guy in his cell. Using his teeth.

-Castle time! Thomas is greeted by a driverless carriage at a crossroads and seems to be hypnotized into stepping in. A lot of things Thomas does once in Orlok’s territory seem to very clearly have psychic puppet strings attached. That and some increasing terror on Thomas’ part. There is no warm Dracula-style welcome from Orlok when he arrives, but a terse and strange leading to the dinner table where paperwork is demanded.

- We get a glimpse of this version of the Count’s ego. Thomas calls him sir. Orlok demands Thomas address him as my lord. And then we get the bread cutting scene. Thomas’ thumb bleeds. Orlok get far too interested. His voice, a very guttural and rasping bass, turns into something closer to an animal trilling and growling. Thomas is paralyzed beside the fire; cut away as Orlok closes in.

-Ellen and Anna Harding have a bit of a Mina and Lucy deal going on at the beach. It’s sweet <3 (Prepare for pain </3)

 - Orlok starts getting tricky. He 1) borrows (steals) Ellen’s locket from Thomas and 2) Tricks Thomas into signing a contract to ‘sell’ Ellen/break their marriage via a strange contract in a language Thomas can’t read, with Orlok using the prop of some gold to imply that this is merely a document in ~his native language~ to complete the property sale. Thomas signs, less for the gold than to be gone from the castle and back to Ellen…only for Orlok to insist Thomas is not well. He must stay the night.

- No mind games here. Just Thomas pleading to leave and Orlok’s parting word being that he will stay, and that he will obey his orders.

-Orlok has already chomped Thomas on the tiddy as of last night. Next night, after Thomas almost lands a blow on him in the coffin—Orlok sleeps with his Orcock out in the box, by the way, alongside several rats—Orlok wills Thomas to unlock the door he shut between them. Cue Thomas being tranced onto the bed, pounced on, and basically dry-humped by Orlok as he drinks Thomas all but dry. Thomas is left that way, only to be woken by Orlok’s wolves—he has those too!—and go clambering out the window, dropping to the river below.

-Orlok makes Ellen’s life hell. Holy fuck. The 1838 quality ‘medicine’ definitely doesn’t help—corsets for correcting posture, draining blood because there’s too much in there, binding to the bedposts to stop sleepwalking, general drugging etc etc—but FUCK. Lily-Rose Depp did a great and terrible job of reproducing shaking fits and some of the faces and sounds she made had me thinking I might choke on my own tongue. And for all the sexually provocative poses/noises that happen, every time she comes out of it it’s clear that she hates this. It’s on par with psychic rape.

-The only times we see Ellen respond positively~ to Orlok’s dream-advances is when she’s telling Thomas about the ‘marrying Death’ dream where everyone died and she was deliriously happy and then the infamous trailer line about Thomas not being able to satisfy her as Orlok can~~~

Well guess what.

Guess fucking what.

That was Orlok leaning on her brain. The same way he did to Thomas when, eventually, after the nuns rescue him and pray the plague/vampirism out and he makes it home while half-dead, he lays in bed with Ellen and gets a panic attack combined with Orlok’s image being grafted over Ellen’s face…

…a reverse of the illusion Orlok gave him in the castle, with Thomas imagining it was Ellen on top of him instead. The effect terrifies Thomas all over again and he unwittingly tosses Ellen away, I can't breathe, get off of me, get off!

-Orlok does his murder snacking. Knock, who escaped, offers to find and kill Thomas to please the Count, literally on his hands and knees. Orlok calls him a dog and backhands him, insisting Ellen must be given, not stolen.

-Orlok has already visited Ellen by this time. He presses her to keep her deal with him. She tells him, flat out, I abhor you. In response, Orlok grabs her and chucks her like a ragdoll in a rage. He fumes, telling her he will give her three nights to pledge herself to him, and in the meantime he will start killing. (RIP to Anna and her little girls, the latter of whom ORLOK KILLS IN FRONT OF HER, EATING THEIR THROATS OUT AS SHE ENTERS THEIR ROOM.)

-Before all that, he spins bullshit about Thomas ~selling her to him for mere gold~. A technical truth that Ellen, mid-Orlok spell, spits back at Thomas amid a rage, along with details that are likewise based in only a granule of reality; but which Orlok did not mention in their scene together. Things like Thomas being weak and childish, that he ‘fell into Orlok’s arms like a fainting woman.’ Interesting choice of spin there, Orlok. But whatever.

This all culminates in what is either reality or a dream or a blend of both as Thomas makes sudden desperate love to her, Ellen weirdly heady about it, telling him yes yes yes they will show Orlok their love. Cue her snapping back to full cognizance (awake? dreaming?) as her eyes and mouth spurt blood in a vision. She collapses in fear and tears as Thomas holds her. AND THEN:

-Ellen. Drops. The I am unclean line. She wants Thomas away from her, she is not worthy, she puts him in danger.

-Thomas goes full Jonathan and clings to her. Nonsense. I love you. I love you. I love you.

-V i n d i c a t i o n

-Anyway.

-Dafoe-Von Franz-Van Helsing is a kooky science occultist. Finds a book that Knock had which fills the role of highlighting Orlok as Solomonari (hey, Scholomance shout out!) and Knock as a would-be beneficiary. Also includes the ‘maiden offers her body and blood to the monster to kill it via sunrise’ bit.

-While he reads this, he does NOT actually spell any of these details out to Ellen when they have their secret mini talk about tricking Thomas into hunting for the coffin with him and Sievers. He gives her a big ~you're the only one who can save us magic maiden martyr~ pep talk, but that's it. Meanwhile, Ellen was already preparing to offer herself to save Thomas and whoever’s left in Wisborg. Not the same kind of agency as the original, but still better than I was expecting.

-Harding, Thomas’ rich friend whose wife and children got drinked to death, dies of plague in the family tomb. They burn the bodies.

-In the ruin Orlok bought, cue the iron stake slamming down as they open the coffin..! But whoops. Knock’s in the box, not Orlok. Von Franz says Ellen offering herself is the only way~ Thomas doesn’t waste time throttling him, just makes a run for their home.

-Too late, of course. Orlok is there (with a very cool homage to the original stalking shadow silhouette routine) and Ellen welcomes him. While they are both naked in bed and it’s implied that they are/or intend to have sex, the bulk of the scene centers on Orlok taking Ellen’s blood from her breast. No clear shot of the Orcock on screen for that bit—Bobby Egg saved that pleasure for the Count flashing Thomas at the castle.

-Orlok’s death throes. Are so. Fucking. Cool. Definitely up there with one of the best vampiric demises I’ve ever seen on film. No spoilers there. You’ve got to see it.

-Heartbreak o’ Clock as Thomas bursts in just as Orlok has died and as Ellen is dying under him. There’s time for them to hold hands. And then she’s gone.

-We close on Von Franz popping up with some poetic soliloquy shit and a bunch of lilacs. The final beat is an overhead shot of Ellen, the Maiden, laying under the now-skeletal Orlok, as Death. Looks almost like a painting. Unlike the implication in the leaked script, she does not look happy/at peace. Simply asleep. The End.

-Other important notes:

1) Orlok has a little combover’s worth of hair on top and mighty and powerful ‘stache. Not Dracula-white, but it is there. Finally.

 2) The guy who plays Dr. Sievers has Alan Rickman’s voice. If he isn’t in opera, he should be.

3) I was too late to get a popcorn coffin box. I shall be in mourning until the New Year.

4) Bobby Egg if you can give me one more gift, let it be a deleted scene of Thomas beating Von Franz over the head with the iron stake, please and thank you <3

[crimsoncandy04]

I see your "scara is a puppet therefore he doesn't have the ability to impregnate or a cock" and I raise you this counter argument.

He has artificial sperm.

Hear me out.

Scientists from our world have made substantial progress in being able to replicate the key elements found in living sperm cells and they have also been able to use these and recreate working sperm in mice.

Although the process isn't safe for humans yet, the research and development is there and there's great potential.

See here

Now you know what this world doesn't have?

Robots that can act like people.

Our technology can't do that yet despite how much we've advanced in recent decades.

But in Genshin the nation of kheanri'ah DID have such technology.

And these were their puppets.

Meant to mimic human design (without the flaws) down to the finer details such as eating, bleeding, and sleeping, this ancient blueprint was used to create Wanderer.

So it's safe to say that this advanced Nation was a few centuries ahead of us when it comes to biological technology.

Now riddle me this.

If humans are known to be sexual creatures by nature, with a LOT of our art and media portraying such intimate acts in a positive light, why would someone try to create a "perfect" demi-human puppet and render them sexless?

Why would they give such a flawless artificial being working and bleeding limbs but not sex organs that could reproduce?

That doesn't make sense.

Keep your headcanons I don't care enough to try and change them.

But at least don't be so dismissive of mine when I tell you why I personally don't agree.

Because I have good reason to believe that Wanderer has not only a working dick. But artificially made sperm as well.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

On occasion, I swear I get undertones from the side of the fandom that liked the season 5 finale that “if you didn’t enjoy it, you must not be smart enough to understand it”…

But… that’s kind of a really stupid argument?

Is this not a TV show intended for 5-12 year olds? If the writing is too complicated for a grown adult to understand, then they have failed at writing a good kids show. Point blank period.

You can write a good kids show that has elements that go right over the kids heads, but those elements should be subtle bonuses that mildly improve the story. They should not be a key part of the overall message. A great little example is this scene from Bluey where the titular character finds an obnoxious "lost" toy hidden under the sink in the laundry room:

Adults and older kids watch this scene and immediately get why the toy was under the sink, but little kids probably miss it. That's not a problem because the sink thing is just a bonus joke that is not vital to the message of this episode. If the sink joke was vital to understanding the message, then the writers would have failed at their job because they wrote something too subtle for the intended audience.

That's why I'm so critical of everything Miraculous is doing. Even if there's ultimately going to be an amazing story here, they've failed to tell it in a way that the intended audience can engage with and that makes the story objectively bad no matter how good it is for older viewers. The lessons should be obvious. The jokes should be obvious, too. There should be no question about what the message is.*

The season five ending is a perfect example of why Miraculous is objectively bad for its intended audience. Lets say that season six is going to address all of the issues with Gabriel and tell us that he was an abusive monster. How powerful is that lesson going to be to the five-year-old who grows out of the show in the year between season five ending and season six airing? What about the kid who obsessively rewatches seasons one to five in the hiatus between seasons and internalizes the happy ending? Or the kid who only watches the show casually and doesn't remember most of the early seasons by the time their issue are addressed?

Obviously those kids won't walk away with a great lesson, which is why shows aimed at kids usually make their morals clear by the end of every episode. Complex morals told over seasons are a bad fit here. Kids in the show's intended age group are only just starting to really learn about the complexities of the world. They generally don't have the life experience to question the show's morals.

That's not to say that shows for kids can't have cliffhangers. The cliffhangers just need to be about the story, not the morals. Season four was a good example of this. While I don't think it was a great final, it did have a clear message. It ends with Ladybug stating what she'd supposedly done wrong - even if season four didn't actually have her do what she said she did - and the question was only what would she do now. There was no moral ambiguity about what happened. Every episode of Miraculous should feel that way, but the show often fails at this. There's way to much ambiguity for a kids show. The fact that many adults can't tell if Gabriel was evil or not is a terrible sign!

*I will note that even perfectly clear messages can be twisted into baffling shapes by viewers of all ages and people will read into things in ways that leave even talented writers scratching their heads. The pigeon thing comes to mind as a good, Miraculous-based example of poor media literacy. So I wouldn't go so far as to say that a kids show is always bad if adults misinterpret things. It depends on how widespread the misinterpretation is and how logical the misreading is. The season five ending is a good example of a true issue because it's played like a happy ending. It's not weird that some people took that at face value while others are waiting for the other shoe to drop. Only time will tell which side is right, which should not be the case when we're dealing with content like the widespread manipulation of an abuse victim in a show aimed at children. That should be presented as unequivocally wrong. Instead, the lies lead to a kiss and happy smiles.

[millersfinest]

untethered | e.w

00s!ellie williams & 00s!miller!reader

wc: 7.4k

series: chapter one (you’re here!)

blurb: it’s been awhile since you’ve been back home; in upstate new york where you’ve spent most of your life waking up early and tending to the animals that moo’d and meh’d. after graduation high school, and then college, the city life has stolen most of your attention. enabling you to visit only a handful of times through the years. when your lovely adoptive parents (tommy and maria miller) invite you back for a thanksgiving dinner—a troubled old flame from your childhood manages to get your attention, despite its explosive ending.

cw: lmao flip phones, some vulgar language, ellie cheating on her gf (kind of), the millers, r is a writer, elements of longing, ellie is #1 lesbian yearner in the world, some early 2000s references, thanksgiving, some physical violence, adopted kid trauma (shoutout to all the adopted kids!!), hella angst, repressed emotions, a little bit of mature content, eventual smut.

note: i have too much confidence writing for ellie. but here’s another series im starting because i realized the plot is too much for a single work on here, hence the 7 thousand words ijbol. hope you guys enjoyyy.

It was quieter upstate. Breathable and airy—you missed it more than anything. As much as you loved living in Manhattan, there was nothing like the countryside. Waking up to the sound of birds chirping and roosters crowing. Hearing the excited neighing from the horses you birthed and took care of. It was refreshing to be home again.

And, of course, you missed your parents.

They adopted you as a troubled child, and you’ve considered yourself lucky ever since. Babies and younger children were often the ones to be pulled from inconsistent foster homes, but they chose you. A pierced, attitude-ridden, thirteen-year-old who liked smoking cigarettes because they made you look cooler than you felt. And it helped you cope with the lasting effects of neglectful parents.

That trauma didn’t just disappear once Tommy and Maria entered your life. It was something that grew from nothing, and they were adamant in making your transition as comfortable as possible. You never experienced anything like it before them. Their strictness and structure did the opposite of what most would think. You went from sneaking out and smoking cigarettes to staying up late studying and finishing your favorite novels—still smoking cigarettes, though, but out your window. It was hard habit to break.

Once you realized that they could be trusted and had your best interest at heart, you gave them the right to parent you. Sure, it wasn’t easy. The three of you argued many, many times—but you respected them more than you have anyone else. Really, just for tolerating you.

The Miller’s were always very family oriented and social. Sunday nights always managed to be a grand event—Tommy grilling in the acred backyard, Maria handling the food items that could be cooked inside, and you diligently decorating and setting the table. Football Sundays were always the worst, but they were great memories to think about. That was the first time you met, basically, the love of your life at the time. Ellie Williams.

It was 1995 when you had completely fallen in love with her—only knowing her for around three years. Joel Miller wasn’t really her father, or adoptive father, he was just somebody who took care of her. He owned a guitar shop that sold, obviously, guitars and other instruments alike; as well as holding lessons for those wanted to learn how to play.

The story goes: Joel was working the register on a very slow day when Ellie showed up. There was a shiner on her eye, but she insisted that she was fine—asking for lessons with crumbled cash and dirty coins. She couldn’t afford the lessons on her own, so he gave her a job and proceeded with teaching her how to play.

She grew up similar to you; hidden under the confines of foster care. The only difference was, she was never adopted. At least not until the age of seventeen, when she’d spent so much time with Joel that she had a decorated bedroom in his house. They both had commitment issues, but after Tommy convinced him to do the paperwork… He did. Surprising her on her seventeenth birthday. However, the outcome didn’t really go to plan. Not how anyone would have expected it.

It was 1997 when she completely broke your heart… Not to be cheesy or anything.

Her seventeenth birthday was hosted at your house, on the farm. You knew her the most out of everyone, so you made it your mission to make this the best birthday ever. Decorating had become a hobby of yours after so many Sunday dinners—you spent all day stringing up lights and colorful streamers. Maria helping you out with a homemade cake that said: Happy Birthday Els! You were too anxious to write the words yourself, so you let her do it instead. You were even sure to invite the friends you shared; demanding they each brought presents to show how much they cared about her.

Joel had showed up before she did; just in time so they could all hide and jump out with big smiles on your faces when Ellie arrived. You would always remember the feeling of hearing the rumbling of her truck coming to a stop. And the shy smile on her face when everyone jumped out from behind furniture—blowing birthday kazoo’s. It was picturesque!

Dina had trotted over to her, snapping a blue paper cone birthday hat over her head. While you walked over with her birthday cake in your hands, brightened with seventeen candles. “Happy seventeenth, Ellie.” You had spoken, warmly. A bashful grin spreading onto your lips. She looked at you with such awe in that moment. Blowing out her candles and kissing your cheek, muttering a blushing ‘I fuckin’ love you’.

You knew about her surprise adoption papers before the party had started, excitement running through your veins when Joel meandered toward her—handing her an envelope of hope. Ellie took it, eyeing him, skeptically. “Open it!” You urged—that was your mistake.

Chortling, she broke open the envelope, not caring if it tore. When she pulled out the certificate, reading the words on the page, her entire face dropped. “Adoption papers?” Her eyes squinted in disgust, glaring at Joel. The smile fell from your face, lips parting in slight shock. Her olive eyes glanced around the room, seeing the fallen expressions clouding everyone’s features. Landing on your fallen face, briefly—a look exclaiming, ‘how could you’. Freckled cheeks heating up in embarrassment and… Anger. “Joel, what the fuck?” She blinked at him, shoving the papers into his chest, then storming out of the house. Hands ripping the hat from the top of head, throwing it to the ground. The screen door creaking obnoxiously as she exited. It all happened so fast.

He quickly followed her out, calling for her, desperately.

Awkwardly, you turned to the frozen people around you. “Anybody want cake? It’s german c— chocolate.” You stammered, trying to keep your composure. Looking to Maria and Tommy for some sort of consolation, you frowned, placing the cake on the counter before fleeing to the bathroom.

You clenched at the roots of your hair, pacing around the bathroom. You could hear remnants of a solo screaming match from outside the bathroom window, causing you to grit your teeth. The papers were supposed to be a good thing! Ellie had always been a hothead—easily agitated like a stray kitten is distress. There were even moments where the two of you went at it. Until one of you caved, begging for affection as an apology. Your nerves burned at the idea of her not liking the surprise—was that selfish?

Instead of remaining in the bathroom, you swung open the door with your eyes fixed on the front door. Hands clenched at your sides, you walked through the kitchen, where Tommy tried to liven up the mood by handing out pieces of cake.

He tried calling your name, but you brushed him off, pushing open the screen door with an attitude that could be felt with every step you took. The brisk autumn air hit your exposed skin, the long-sleeve striped shirt not doing much to keep you warm.

Striding around the side of the house, you seen Joel and Ellie having a stern conversation. But by the time your eyes landed on them, they were in a beat of silence. Joel shaking his head with his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. Ellie had her arms stubbornly crossed, frowning. When her eyes found yours, he turned around to leave. “She’s all yours…” He solemnly sighed, walking back into the house. The adoption papers crumbled up in his hands.

Biting your bottom lip, you approached her with your arms crossed for warmth. “What happened, Ellie?” Your voice dragged, tiredly. There was something always wrong with her. “We just wanted to do something nice for you… Why’d you have to go and ruin it—?”

“Oh, I’m the one who ruined it?” She scoffed, a sneer resting on her lips. “I’m not the one who brought the fucking adoption papers!” Ellie exclaimed, gesturing broadly with her hands. When she was up in arms, she always gesticulated more. “Did you have anything to do with this? Because if you did—“

You interrupted her with scrutinizing glare. “So, what if I did? I thought this would make you happy, Ellie… Don’t you understand?”

“You had me open that in front of everyone knowing what was inside— and you thought that’d make me happy?” Her lips arched in disgust. “Clearly, you don’t know me at all.” Her words were venomous, lips twitching in anger.

There was nobody who understood you more than Ellie, and vice versa. You just got each other because you came from similar backgrounds—that was your glue. You don’t know me at all. That was new.

With your eyes growing warm with tears, your tongue rolled in your mouth. “I spent all day setting this up… For you. Because I love you, Ellie. I don’t know you— that’s bullshit if I ever heard it.” Your voice cracked, but you refused to let a tear run down your cheek. This was no time for tears—if she could get angry, so could you.

“I’ve known you long enough to have some semblance of understanding on why you’re upset, right now— that’s for damn sure.” You paused, averting your eyes to concentrate on keeping your rising emotions at bay. She watched you, cheeks still red with anger. “I’m gonna give you ten minutes— ten, Ellie! If you don’t get your ass back in there in next ten fucking minutes…” You lick your lips, shaking your head. “We’re over. Done!”

Giving a final glare, you turned to head back inside. “I can’t keep dealing with this shit.” You mutter, under your breath.

“So that’s what it is… Dealing with me?” Ellie voiced, a sliver of disappointment slipping in her moment of anger.

Wiping your cheeks, you peered over your shoulder. “What?”

“You got this perfect little life… Huh?” She began, approaching you intimidatingly. “The loving parents, the farmhouse— you became the perfect daughter for them… Gets the grades, does everything she can to appease them. This fuckin’ fantasy world that you chose to live in all because you wanted someone to love you… Fuckin’ pathetic.”

“Ellie…” You warned.

“Well, newsflash, little-miss-perfect— not everybody wants that! Not everybody wants to play pretend for the rest of their fucking life just to be—“

It happened before you could stop it, fists clenching at your sides as she bad mouthed you till oblivion. Your soft spot—and she knew all about that. Both of you grew up as kids who got into fights and disputes more times than anyone could count; you just decided to clean up your act. However, that troubled twelve to thirteen-year-old still resided inside of you. And, in that moment, she wasn’t your doting girlfriend—she was someone punching down on you.

Your knuckles collided with the side of her face, knocking into her cheek bone. Features scowling as if she were a stranger. Ellie stumbled, holding onto her face with surprised eyes. For a second the version of her you loved came through, but she quickly recovered. Her lips curling at the ends, taunting you. “I knew you still had it in you… You’re no better than me.”

There it was.

Not only was it the straw that broke the camels back—it was the truth. The ultimate truth. Behind all of your petty little arguments. Behind all her wild bursts of anger. She was jealous of you. Grunting behind your teeth, you charged at her. Taking the collar of her jacket as her back hit the gravelly ground. Straddling her, you didn’t hear the rushing feet hitting the porch. You could feel her hands settling loosely on your calves, only angering you more. “I did the fucking work— nobody else but me!” Tears poured down your cheeks. “I am better than you. Because I fucking try—“

Arms pulled you off her body, wrapping around your abdomen. It was Tommy, questioning you in your ear, but you weren’t listening. “Everything went to shit because of you! Remember that!” Dina and Jesse rushed to her side, but she only sat up watching you get pulled back inside. They glared at your forced retreat—they were always more friends with her than they were with you.

Tommy released you, with a disappointed sigh. Maria walking inside, shutting the door behind her, frowning. You heaved, looking at all the decorations that mocked you. Sparkling and shining against the dim lights in the room. The barely eaten cake sat on the counter in the kitchen making fun of you—it was all too much.

“What the hell has gotten into you, y/n?!” Maria pointedly, asked. Not really wanting a response.

“What’s gotten into me?! What’s gotten into her—!” You pointed to the door as if she replaced it.

The blond man leaned his elbows on the kitchen counter, bending at his hips. “Well, I don’t think it matters what’s gotten into her if you put your hands on her, Bug.” Tommy spoke, evenly. He was always the calmer of the two. “Did you… Did you put your hands on her?”

Maria stood with her hands on her hips. “What did we say about fighting—? And you don’t hit your girlfriend— you don’t hit the people that you care about!” She scolded, pointing her finger. “We raised you better than that…”

Your lips quivered, guilt setting in. “I didn’t mean to hit her! She wanted— she wanted me to… I swear!”

He glanced at his wife. “She wanted you to hit her?” Tommy deadpanned, pressing his lips into a line.

They both looked at you with separate expressions. Maria clearly overwhelmed with disappointment and utter disbelief. The same look she gave you when she caught you smoking cigarettes at the barn when you were fourteen—when you told her you quit. Tommy had an expression of pity, like he often did. That same look he gave when you had a meltdown at school when you first moved in with them.

More tears began to roll down your cheeks. “Maria… Tommy… She pushed me. Why would she do that? Why would she—“ You began to ramble, knees growing weak. Your strict mother-figure rushed to your side, catching you before you fell. “I didn’t mean to… I didn’t want to— she was just being so mean.”

Sinking to the floor with you, her hands caressed your hair. Maria looked to Tommy, mouthing for him to go check on Ellie.

Outside, Ellie was dismissing the weary questions from her friends. She’d never seen you act in such an unruly way. Every time she came over, there wasn’t a hair that was out of place on your head. She was always the one acting out, swearing like a sailor. Sure, she knew about your smoking habit, but that was nothing.

Your girlfriend was envious of how everything was panning out for you—college was around the corner. You had an acceptance letter from your dream school, and without a doubt, you were leaving for the city. Leaving her behind to rot in the country. It wasn’t fair!

That adoption letter felt like pity. She wasn’t a fan of that feeling either.

As a bruise formed on her cheek, guilt settled into the pit of her stomach. Ellie had every intention on seeing the side of you that everyone talked about with a past tense that indicated warning. She needed to prove to herself that you weren’t the perfect person she saw you to be—but all that was left behind was remorse and a sore cheek.

She watched as Joel and Tommy stepped aside to talk. Their eyes glancing back and forth between the door and Ellie, as she leaned against her rusted red truck.

“I can’t believe she would do something like that… On your birthday?” Dina shook her head, with her arms crossed.

“It’s not like her…” Jesse narrowed his eyes at the auburn-haired girl. “What’d you do?”

Dina smacked his chest. “Jessie! She’s literally the victim here— domestic abuse!”

He sucked his teeth, rolling his eyes. “I’m not saying what she did was right.” Jessie began. “I’m saying that I know Ellie Williams, and I know how she is— she’s a pusher.”

The bruised seventeen-year-old scoffed.

“Yeah, I said it.” He stood tall, a small smirk playing on his lips. “You’re a pusher. Hell, you’re a professional pusher— you push people for a fucking living.” Dina glared at him, threatening to hit him again. “I mean, there was that one time… When we went into the city for that comic convention, and you completely obliterated Joel for worrying about you—“

The dark-haired, freckled teenager pushed her boyfriend out of the way taking his place. “We don’t have to relive that…”

Ellie rolled her tongue in her mouth. “Look, I know this is my fault…”

“Ellie… You’re the one with the bruise forming on your face.” She reached up, rubbing her cheek. Her wincing under her touch.

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, squeezing her red eyes. “Yeah, and if it weren’t for me— for what I said… I wouldn’t have this fuckin’ bruise.” Ellie peered at where Joel and Tommy were speaking. They were wrapping up, giving brotherly hugs. “I am a pusher… And now my girlfriend hates me.” She pouted, tears welling up in her eyes. The blond Miller waved a hand at her, giving a tight-lipped smile that screamed I’m sorry. “I gotta go…” She pulled her keys from her pocket, getting into her truck.

That was the last full conversation the two of you had. Horrible, but the last. Everything in between then and the present was short and empty. Light conversations that only strangers and acquaintances shared. Letters here and there. It was a dispute that was so nuanced, for the first year after that, Joel barely said a word to you. Which bled into his relationship with Tommy. Maria tried to play middleman, but it didn’t work.

Perhaps, that was the reason you kept your distance. You didn’t want to continue to be the wedge that formed between two brothers. While you loved your parents, they were only a phone-call away. And, in the meantime, you could focus on growing in your career. Focusing on your book writing, instead.

You just wanted to forget about what happened when you were an emotionally undeveloped seventeen-year-old, but every time you seen her face—you remembered. So, avoiding Ellie Williams was a mission within itself.

A mission you were hoping you weren’t going to have to endure this year.

“You know,” Tommy began, sipping his fresh coffee. “Joel’s coming down from Jersey for the week.”

As you looked through the fridge, you snapped your head in his direction. “Is he now…?” You slowly question. Letting the fridge door shut on its own. The blonde woman to his right, sitting at the island counter, chuckled. Flipping through the interior design magazine you brought for her.

“And he’s picking up Ellie from the city.”

“What!” You exclaim, rushing to the opposite side of the counter. Pulling the mug from his lips, a surprised squeak left your throat. “Uh, dad… You forgot to mention on the several phone calls that we had in that last month that Ellie moved to the city.”

Maria perked up, pushing a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Yeah, she’s been there for about a year now… Brooklyn, is it?” She looked to her husband for clarification. He nodded, peering up at you with a plain expression.

“A year?! And none of you told me?”

“Bug, you did say that you didn’t want us to bring her up anymore unless you asked.” Maria stood to her feet, meandering to the stove and oven. “But that does remind me… They should be here in a few hours. Wanna help with the brownies?” She preheated the oven, walking around you casually.

Your mouth fell open, glancing between the two of them. “Okay, so they get brownies, and I get the worst news of my life…” An apron with your nickname embroidered on the front, Bug, hung in your mother's hand as an offering. “Yes, I’ll help with the brownies— this is very cruel to your very successful daughter.”

Tommy waved his hand, dismissively. “C’mon, that incident happened years ago now. You’re twenty-five, I’m sure she’s gotten over it.”

Tying the string around your neck and back, you pressed your lips into a line. It wasn’t really about her—you weren’t over it. You still harbored the same guilt you felt when you settled in your room that night. A crazy mixture of resentment and remorse all rolled up into one feeling; as you settled in your reading nook, with your hand out the window holding a burning cigarette with your index and middle finger. “I’m sure she has…”

Eventually, you switched the conversation around while baking. Falling into fits of laughter from mentioning past stories of your teenagehood. Teaming up with Maria to make fun of Tommy and his aging—all of a sudden, he was beginning to have a knack for playing a checkers. Only old people enjoyed playing checkers. Then, the waiting began.

To busy yourself, you pulled out your computer and brought it to the porch. Even though, you were taking some time off at your publishing job; when it came to your book writing, you had an agent to keep flooding your inbox with emails. Telling you to do this and do that—it was obnoxious. But you did as she asked anyway.

Typing away, a puff of nicotine fled from your lips. Murmuring under your breath, the words that were populating on the screen. On your hip, your phone rang, causing you to throw your head back in slight agony. Something always interrupted you when you were flowing. Flipping open your phone, the decorative chain swinging around as you placed it against your ear. “Hello,” You spoke, stubbing out your cigarette.

It was your roommate and closest friend, Sierra, complaining about the neighbors. Her strong long island accent echoing through the phone. “Oh, my God— they’re so loud! You’d think gettin’ an apartment in a nicer building would thicken the walls.” She groaned on the other end. “Please, come back. At least to tell them to shut up, and then you could go back upstate.”

“Why don’t you… I don’t know…” You shut your laptop, replacing your butt with the boxy electronic. Strolling to the far end of the porch, leaning your arms against the bannister. “Tell them yourself?” An amused smile spread on your lips.

Sierra paused. “Because that’s your job. I’m the nice one, remember?”

“Okay, well I can’t leave. I just got here, and I’m not spending another grand on taxi fare.”

“I’ll spot you.” You could hear her smile on the end.

“Sierra, I’m not coming back until Saturday. So, your only options are to either bang on their door— telling them to shut the hell up— or you suffer listening to their relentless daytime sex.” As you spoke, a truck began rolling up the driveway. Identities unclear due to the intense window tint, but you knew exactly who it was. However, there were three heads in that truck.

She groaned on the other end of the line. “Ugh! I hate you—“

“You love me!” You grinned, but it dropped right off your face when the people exited the vehicle. From the driver's seat, it was Ellie; then, it was Joel who exited, seemingly in conversation. And, finally, a girl stepped out of the vehicle. Joel noticed you leaning against the bannister on the porch, waving his hand with a smile.

Your muscles reacted, waving a fleeting hand. “Maria, Tommy! They’re here!” You yell loud enough to be heard through the screen door. You were always insecure about calling them by their parental titles in front of people—let alone new people.

“You’re yelling in my ear, hon. If you gotta go just tell me.” Sierra complained.

“I gotta go.”

Before she could say her goodbyes, you shut your phone, sliding it into your back pocket. Your parents came out of the house in high spirits; Maria clapping her hands, excitedly, embracing Ellie. Tommy giving a firm bear hug to Joel, laughing heartily—at what? You were unsure.

Awkwardly, you stood there. Smiling with your hands held in front of your body as if you were presenting a project.

Joel looked to you, approaching you with open arms. “Look at you,” He began, wrapping his arms around you, warmly. “All grown up.” He pulled back to get a better look at you, nodding proudly.

“Yeah…” You tapped his shoulder. “You, too.” A chuckle fell from your lips.

Then, you looked to your right at the freckled girl with her arm around a feminine stranger. However, you couldn’t indentify her before you did Ellie. Her auburn hair was pulled into a low bun, with pieces framing her gentle features. Her round evergreen, tinted with slivers of brown, eyes. Freckles decorating her cheeks, bridge of her nose; the beauty mark under left eye—

“Hey,” Ellie drawled out the greeting, awkwardly. Leaning in for a hug that teetered back and forth until you reciprocated.

You kept that same plastered smile on your lips, wrapping your arm under hers. “Hey, Ellie.” Pulling back, you finally looked at the girl beside her. She had tattoos and piercings and looked so much cooler than you. “Who’s this?”

Her earthy eyes widened. “Oh, this is, uhm, my girlfriend, Cat.”

The only response you could give was a nod and a half-hearted wave. It was like a dramatic record scratch in your head. But your parents took over with the rest. Guiding everyone inside to the warmth. Tommy remained outside, giving you skeptical eyes. “Help me with the bags…”

“Honey, don’t be weird about this.” He spoke, as you followed him to the truck.

“I’m not being weird.” You whined, gravel crunching under your feet. “Seriously, what’s to be weird about?” Reaching into the open trunk, you pulled out luggage’s and duffle bags. This was a lot of stuff for a week stay—they brought more than you did.

He gruffly breathed, pulling up the handle of one of the suitcases. “You’re my daughter, I know you— just sayin’…”

“Oh, my God— please!” You complained, hooking the duffle over your shoulder, pulling one of the luggage’s. Leaving him to follow you toward the porch.

Dinner had come quicker than you had hoped. If anything, if you could magically skip over the thing, and still eat, that would’ve been perfect.

All six of you sat at the dining table, forks and knives scratching at ceramic plates. Tommy and Joel had gathered in the back, last minute to cook up some steaks. And, to busy yourself, you helped Maria with the sides while Ellie and Cat got situated in the guest house.

“So, y/n, how’s the book comin’ along?” Joel wondered, putting a cut piece of steak into his mouth.

You made a surprised sound as you chewed your food, rushing to swallow. “Shit, you’re writing a book?” Ellie questioned, leaning her elbows on the table.

Taking a sip of water, you decided to respond. “Yeah, I’ve been working on it for a while.” Your eyes glanced at her, then moved on, quickly, to Joel’s. “It’s… Coming along.” A bashful laugh fell from your lips, as your hand reached for the glass of wine. It was barely touched, red hue swishing in the bulb of the glass as you took a sip. It’s fruity bitterness relishing over your tongue.

“What is it— like fiction or…?” Ellie pressed, genuinely.

“Non-fiction. A book of essay’s, really— written in different forms.” You nodded. “It sounds boring…”

Ellie shrugged, forking a piece of meat into her mouth. “Doesn’t sound boring to me.” She responded, with her mouth full.

“It’s the farthest from boring, honey.” Maria massaged your shoulder, sharing a small smile. You mirrored her in return, forking at the vegetables on your plate—perfectly steamed broccoli.

“How’s Brooklyn treating you?” You spoke up, raising your eyebrows.

Ellie lightly glared at Joel before answering, placing her utensils down. “It’s certainly treating me…” She muttered, rubbing her hands together, glancing at her girlfriend.

“It’s a great place for art, but just not Ellie’s art.” Cat chuckled, sipping from her wine glass.

“Oh, that’s what you’re doing.” You nod.

“I recall her using the words: too crowded.” Joel used air quotes to briefly describe the past conversation.

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “It makes me feel crowded— the city. When you say it like that, it makes me sound fucking stupid, Joel.”

“You did say crowded.”

“Well, I meant overwhelmed.”

You snickered at their bickering, leaning back in your chair. “Back to your art, I guess you’re experiencing the artistic equivalent to writers block?” Tommy inquired, still chewing on his steak, raising an eyebrow. The auburn-haired young woman nodded, chuckling to herself. “That’s why you’re stayin’ with us for a little while, huh?”

Another record scratch.

You blinked at you father, deepening your eyebrows. “Wait, what?”

Joel had set his beer on the table, leaning forward. “Yeah, Ellie’s stayin’ with your parents for a little while to get her juices flowing, again.” He explained, pressing his lips into a soft smile. Ellie cringed at his use of the words juices, taking a sip of her beer.

Tommy and Maria told you nothing unless you asked for it for almost everything now—you at least deserved to know that Ellie was staying on the farm indefinitely. After all, when they’re dead and gone, it’ll be yours; so, they could’ve at least told you without you having to ask—that’s big!

“And, I’ll help out so I won’t be sleeping the day away— because I know that I will without a proper schedule.”

“I thought you guys didn’t need a farmhand.” You glanced at your parents, with your eyebrows still deepened with confusion.

Maria chuckled, standing to her feet. “We don’t need anything, but who could say no to a helping hand?” She grabs the empty basket of biscuits from the center of the table. “Anybody want more biscuits?”

“I would love some!” Cat spoke up, holding up a tattooed finger.

“Me too, honey.” Tommy also spoke.

A dry chortle left your lips, leaning against the back of the chair. “Are you staying on the farm, too?” You peered over at the stranger—the girlfriend, with a slight accusatory tone.

Her lips parted a few times before she responded. “Oh, no, I’m going back to Brooklyn. Not much of a country girl.”

Pursing your lips, you nodded, downing the rest of your wine. This week was going to be a doozy. When Maria came back to the table, you snatched a biscuit from the basket, biting into it. There was a perfect crispy layer on the outside, mixed with the perfect gooey, soft innards of the biscuit. “These are so good.” You muttered with your mouth full with its buttery goodness.

On your hip, your phone buzzed. Cursing under your breath, you plucked the cellphone from your belt, flicking it open. It was your agent calling you at eight o’clock at night. “Excuse me, I gotta take this.” You scooted the chair back, pressing the green button. “It’s late, Isa.” You started the call, stalking out of the room like the corporate woman you are. Taking the route up the stairs to your old bedroom.

“I need that new chapter by tomorrow morning— as in, 8am.” She scolded on the other line. “I’m personally reminding you. Since you couldn’t respond to my emails.”

You sighed, shutting your bedroom door behind you. “Isa, I’ve been traveling all day on public transport, and I’ve been trying to have family time— is that not what Thanksgiving is about?”

“You’re writer, hon. You have little bit of family time, then you hermit to finish your work— now, stop giving me grief. Time is of the essence.” Her smooth voice told, chuckling after her words. “I’ll be anticipating you’re new chapter tomorrow at eight! Have a great night.”

“Have a great night…”

Slapping your phone shut, you sighed, running your other hand over your face. Being a writer was relentless—just as relentless as you and your roommate’s neighbors. But, instead of lingering in frustration, you grabbed your heavy laptop and propped yourself on the cushion beside your window—your reading nook. Not forgetting to put a Sade tape inside of your stereo for some background music, before you began to diligently work.

You typed at your computer, rapid clicking sounds filling your ears. Although, it was no surprise that you worked your hardest after the sun set—it was like you had one too many espresso shots.

Every word was coming from the heart, and coincidentally enough, the guests at your home made it easier. This chapter was definitely reflecting the feelings you felt the day of Ellie’s seventeenth birthday. You used imagery and metaphors to describe that feeling of attack—being backed into a corner, having the worst part of yourself brought into the light. And, like most of your pieces, it was dredging it all back up again; the emotions.

That feeling of losing the only person that truly understood you.

Of course, you had a few relationships since then—a few, trying to chase that same feeling you felt when your hands touched. But there wasn’t anyone who could compare to her. How pathetic was it to still be harping on a highschool sweetheart?

Hours passed under the radar. Your parents being the mile marker in your work, knocking on the door to let you know everyone was heading to bed. Too busy with outlining new ideas, you barely spared them a glance, muttering a smooth goodnight.

It was about one in the morning by the time you finished the chapter. Still, it needed some tweaking, but it was good enough to send to your agent for the editor to look at.

Shutting your laptop, you finally took in your old bedroom. Various music artists slapped against your soft pink walls, attached with tape—some corners hanging off. Catwoman figurines lining the back of your large, white, wooden dresser; with comics stacked alongside them. Stacks of old books in the corner of your room, stacked from the floor to the middle of her wall. If you were to stumble into them, they’d experience one hell of a fall.

Suddenly, curiosity struck.

Hopping from the cushioned seat under your paneled window, you looked under your bed. Reaching for an old shoebox that was filled with many, many interesting things. You slid it from under the dusty bed frame, taking it back to that plushy seat you appreciated so dearly. Plucking the top off, you released a sigh. Immediately being hit with polaroids of yourself as a teenager—mostly standing beside, laughing with, and cuddling Ellie.

They were the photos you snatched from your wall after that fight. Oh, she looked the same. Still had that uncertainty in her earthy, olive eyes. You didn’t understand it then, and you most definitely didn’t understand it now. Ellie didn’t have to feel the uncertainty she was used to in foster care. She had people who believed in her—who will always believe in her.

Sifting through, your hands hovered over a letter she wrote. It was an apology letter sent around the time of her eighteenth birthday—almost a full year since the situation. The envelope was ripped open from the day you received it; stained with salty, heartbroken tears.

If only that day never happened…

A startling knock sounded at your window. It was no more than a pebble, which was confirmed when another launched within your sights. Scrunching up your eyebrows, you unlocked it, pulling it upwards. Once you peaked your head outside into the brisk, cool weather, a small smile spread onto your lips.

“Workin’ hard or hardly workin’ up there?” Ellie called from below. “I brought a little somethin’… Thought you could use a break from writing.” She waved a tightly rolled joint in her hands—which could only be seen if you squinted.

The corners of your lips spread wider, feeling horribly nostalgic. “You’re actually a little too late on that front. I finished a few minutes ago,” You pressed your lips into a line, continuing. “But I could never turn down smoke break. I’ll be down in a second.”

Dropping the letter, you scooted off the seat to grab your jacket. Stuffing your feet into the semi-stained Uggs you wore into the ground, before fleeing your bedroom. You didn’t feel the need to sneak down the stairs, but a part of you wanted to—to relieve that feeling of adrenaline you felt in your youth.

Ellie met you at the back door, holding open the creaking screen door as you exited. “I honestly wasn’t sure you still did this.” She chuckled, looking at the ground as you both began to walk away from the house. Putting some distance so the smell wouldn’t upset the elders in the home.

“What? Smoke weed?” You perked an eyebrow. “You think because I went all corporate, I stopped being down?”

“Actually… Yeah.” She responded, nervously snickering.

The two ofyou settled in front of this white-lined shed that was illuminated by the two warm, orange-toned lights on either side of the door. “Well, you’re kind of right…” You admitted, squinting your eyes, embarrassed. It’s hard being known for your adaptability. “I try to keep the pot smoking to a minimum. In the corporate world they test you for it.”

Ellie pulled the joint from behind her ear, placing it between her lips. She shook her head in response to your words. “Says the cigarette smoker…” She joked, eyeing you, teasingly. While she flicked her lighter to burn the tip.

“Hey, they don’t give a rats ass about nicotine— I need to make up for that loss somehow. I’m a writer for christ’s sake.”

When she finally gets it to catch the fire, she took two puffs before passing it to you between her index and thumb. “Where’s Cat?” You innocently questioned, taking a hit of the joint, then looking at it, before taking another hit.

Ellie became rigid, releasing an exasperated sigh from her lips. “The guesthouse, watchin’ some movie.”

You handed her the joint. “What, is she not down?” Mocking your previous words, with amused eyes. However, her demeanor had quickly shifted.

“She gets easily frustrated after traveling all day…” She shook her head in a dismissive way, like she didn’t want any further questions to asked.

“Hm… That’s relatable.”

Silence engulfed the both of you as you passed the blunt back and forth until it was nothing more than a roach. Hearing nothing but the distant wind chimes sounding off on the porch.

Before speaking, Ellie took a deep breath, glancing over at you as if she were nervous to make eye contact. “I hope me stayin’ here for a little bit doesn’t bother you too much.”

Her words were double-take worthy, you looked over at her with expressive eyes—widening, in surprise. “Bother me? Why would it bother me?” You leaned your shoulder on the shed, kicking one leg over the other.

“You didn’t seem like the biggest fan—“

“Ellie, I was surprised. That’s all.” You waved your hand, shaking your head. “I feel like they don’t tell me shit anymore…” Shoulders shrugging, you glance toward the house standing tall in all its glory. “They didn’t tell me about you moving to Brooklyn, either. What does it look like when someone you’ve known your whole life moves to a city you’re actually familiar with and they’re not, and you don’t reach out to help them? I’m only a forty minute train ride away.” You rambled, deepening your eyebrows. “They basically made me look like an asshole.”

You weren’t entirely sure how you’d react if you knew about Ellie’s moving to the big city. Knowing your habits, you’d probably sit by the phone for hours before making the move to give her a call. But, it’s not like you were given the opportunity to figure it out for yourself. Now, it just appeared that you forgot about her—or could care less about her endeavors; which is farthest from the truth.

Her full lips cracked into a smile, chuckling. The auburn-haired woman, mirrored your position, leaning her shoulder against the wooden shed. “Always worried about what you look like…” She muttered, sucking her teeth. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think you’re an asshole— you just didn’t know.” Ellie shrugged. “It’s not like we talk as much as we used to…”

As much as we used to. That kind of stung.

Your eyes averted to the gravel under your boots. “Yeah…” There was an awkward beat that took its place between you. Swallowing, you shooed it away with speaking up. “What about your art? You’re living in one of the most creative cities in the world, and you can’t create?”

She puffed air from her lips, glancing in the direction of the guesthouse, priming her lips. “Okay… Confession— but only if what’s said here stays here.”

“What’s said at the shed, stays at the shed.” You affirm, holding a hand and crossing to fingers. The high from what you smoked clouding your mind, squinting your eyes and loosening your inhibitions.

“Cat and I moved in together pretty early— too early… I needed a roommate and she was the perfect option.” Ellie began, carefully. Olive eyes shifting under the dim light in thought. “I swear ever since I moved in with her… The inspiration to make anything new is fucking gone.” She ran her hand over her hair, which was actually loose without a hair tie. Dusting over her shoulders, pieces pushed behind her ears. “She, you know, hovers a lot— in a sweet way, it’s just irritating because not even her pushing me can be inspiring.”

Your heart skipped a beat; it was hopeful—you really are an asshole! “Damn… So, it’s not the city that makes you feel crowded. It’s Cat.” You hum, nodding your head, taking in your assumption. “And… You think staying here will help? Doing boring farm work?” A chuckle falls from your lips, borderline nervous, borderline humored.

She pursed her lips, raising her eyebrows. “I mean, I spent a lot of time here growin’ up…” Ellie looked at you, knowingly. “It was never boring when we did it together.”

“That’s because we were doing it together. I’m not gonna be here while you’re shoveling horse shit.” You chortled, peering at her through hazy eyes. She giggled and it sounded like music to your ears. It’s been awhile since you heard her laugh from something you said. Weed always did have a way of bringing people together.

“Well, maybe before you go, you could help me out. Jog my memory.” Ellie offered, raising her eyebrows. “It’s either you or suffering through Tommy’s jokes for hours—“

“I don’t mind, but we might have to jog each others memory.”

“Hey, you can take the girl out the country, but not the country out the girl.” She shrugged. “I have faith in you.”

You narrowed your eyes at her, a smile spread on your lips. “You’re still so corny.” Shaking your head, a laugh slips. Wrapping your arms around your body, you acknowledge the cool weather. It pricked at your exposed skin, and even through your jacket. “It’s getting late…”

She scratched the back of her neck. “Yeah, sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I appreciate the joint— I needed it.” You pushed off the shed wall, licking your lips. In preparation to meander back toward the house, you rocked on your feet. “There’s some left over biscuits on the counter…” You drawled, but it was all right because Ellie had filled in for you.

“I’m fucking starving.”

Then, the two of you walked shoulder to shoulder back inside. Giggling at stupid jokes, surfing over any of the past debacles you had. Turns out reconvening with your childhood lover wasn’t so bad after all. For now, anyway.

[kawaiifacesong]

So, the ABC feedback part.

What else is there to say? Honestly, I struggle to find anymore words around this topic. It's like an old wound. It hurts but at a certain point how many different ways can you say that?

I put what I wrote beneath the cut to spare the poor eyes of those who don't want to spend their Christmas/Christmas eve assaulted by reading. I tried to keep it cheerful.

Anyway, hope everyone has a great holiday.

It’s the holiday season and I don’t want to spend too much time on bitterness. I’ll keep things as cheap and cheerful as I can, which could possibly mean this is quite a short little message. Firstly, merry Christmas and happy holidays. Secondly, I wanted to pass on my thanks to the show for the gift that was Tommy’s character, and Buck’s relationship with him. It’s been said a lot, but I’ll say it again that I thought Tommy was a wonderful addition to the show, that he brought excellent potential to the story, and that I felt a great affinity with the character as an older gay man who has struggled with his sexuality in the past and continues to do so today. I relate to a lot of those aspects of the character and it was lovely to see all those elements on such a popular TV show, even if they weren’t explored as much as I wanted them to be. It was also great to see Buck’s relationship with him. I guess I should explain the reasons why but honestly, I’m not sure what else to say. It made me feel seen, it made me feel hopeful… honestly, it just made me feel happy. They had an intimacy and connection I hope to find myself one day. It shone a light in a world where things look increasingly bleak and dark for marginalized people, particularly LGBT+ people. Whilst I wasn’t happy about the Confessions episode or the way it ended, I won’t belabor that point. I’m happy that we got something, even if I’m not happy that’s all we got. While I hope there may be more to their relationship to come, I’m also not expecting anything more from this show. I can’t imagine any other love interest of Buck’s measuring up and I don’t intend to stick around and watch the show make any attempts to replicate such success. I would be remiss if I failed to mention how beautifully I thought Lou Ferrigno Jr. played the role. I am now a huge fan of his, and plan to follow his career to wherever he goes next, even if that isn’t 9-1-1. If Confessions was his last time on 9-1-1, and subsequently my last time watching the show, I think I can take that as an even trade. That said, I'd be lying if I didn't hope with all my heart that he does return in the new year. And that's why #alliwantforchristmasislou Best of luck and I hope everyone enjoys their Christmas and New Year.

[aotopmha]

I saw Sonic movie 3.

And it was a really solid movie, in fact, surprisingly strong in terms of theme and character writing in particular even if I already expected an improvement.

But I think the blunt nature of the movie was my favourite aspect of it.

It had the brisk pacing and concise writing of the best Dragon Ball movies.

I saw some reviews say the second act was slower than they would've liked, but I never felt any kind of slowdown myself.

There was some stilted exposition here and there, but because the movie was so propulsive, none of it ever overtook the story to the point where it started affecting its overall quality, same for the pop culture references or human characters (helps that the roles the humans got were relevant to the story at hand).

Some of the references were actually funny because of the more snappy execution – among other elements the comedic timing for jokes improved considerably here (though I personally still could do without most of the referencing).

They did exactly what I think they needed to do, which is to tighten the pacing and focus on the strongest aspect of their writing: the forementioned themes and characterisation.

Team Sonic was great, the Robotniks were great and Shadow was great.

Though by the end, there was a mild nagging wish for just a little bit more of everything on my part.

All of the above elements were great, but because there were so many characters to focus on in a relatively short span of time, the exact opposite issue for pacing in comparison to the previous movies popped up in that I think the movie needed just a little bit more runtime to let some scenes sit a little more.

Because it was so larger-than-life, I also had no issues with the back and forth between comedic and serious scenes like I saw some reviewers say they had, as well, not just because it is a movie about an anthropomorphic blue hedgehog, but also because the movie did a great job of setting the tone to make the more ridiculous elements work.

The best I had to say about Sonic 2 is that it was a live action cartoon and Sonic 3 fully embraces this element of itself.

So, the movie is as fantastic of a Sonic Adventure 2 adaption you could get given the time limitation of a movie, but just short of truly amazing because of it, as well.

What truly surprises me is that I think I can recommend this as a generally good movie, not just a good movie for Sonic fans.

I brought this up with the other two, but these movies feel like classic 90s kids' movies and this movie is that ten fold.

Definitely, absolutely go see it if you're a Sonic fan, though.

SPOILERS FROM HERE.

They totally killed both of the Robotniks because they don't know if they can get Jim Carrey back, and if they are able to get him back, they'll absolutely bring him back.

He was at his peak performance here in my eyes, but more than that I love how he ended up also having a character arc that tied to the themes of the story along with Sonic and Shadow.

Putting everything else aside, I think the part of the movie which earned that 88% Rotten Tomatoes rating with the critics is the strong thematic throughline augmented by the extremely economically told character stories.

Gerald Robotnik's existence allowed to explore Ivo Robotnik and his lack of any familial connection similarly to Shadow's and Sonic's familial losses.

Robotnik's farewell and acknowledgement of Stone at the end of movie not only paid off his arc in the movie (the realisation that he did not share his grandfather's hatred for humanity), but also all of the screentime Stone and Eggman had in the other two movies.

While Sonic's similarity to Shadow was highlighted when Shadow attacked and seriously injured Tom (even without willingly wanting to do so) and Sonic temporarily went down a similarly vengeful, solitary path.

Unlike Shadow, however, he ultimately chose the different, better path, by sparing him.

And both of them understood each other by the end because of their shared experience of loss.

I think how Shadow and Knuckles were handled actually was the best example of this movie's extremely tight script.

Shadow actually didn't talk that much, with a very large chunk of his story actually being "shown" via flashbacks characterising Maria, but when he did, it always felt like it had gravitas.

And to me the absolute best of this was the scene at the tail end of the movie where you actually see Maria die; the cinematography transitioning to present Shadow powering the Eclipse Cannon said everything it needed to say just via the visuals and nothing else. It was a fantastic example of "show, don't tell".

Because it is all so firmly consistent, when it all comes together in the final 20 to 30 minutes, everything feels natural and earned.

Everything connects and makes sense on a character level, even if the plot itself uses a bunch of coincidence/contrivance to streamline the order of events and, in turn, all of the side characters tie into this three-way web.

I mentioned Stone, Tom (earlier in the movie, Tom also has a thematically good, if more stilted heart to heart with Sonic) and Maria (who I also like because she's just a fairly normal kid in this interpretation of the story), but I actually really want to highlight Tails and Knuckles, as well.

Moreso Knuckles because I like how the argument throughout the movie about the team name evolves from Team Sonic or Team Knuckles to just "team" by the end and I really like how Knuckles responds to (and opposes) Sonic recklessly asking to use the Master Emerald, which ties into the themes of the second movie. It's a surprising bit of refreshing nuance.

I think Tails is the most standard out of all three, serving as a mediator and the brains of the operation, mostly staying the same from the previous movie, with perhaps simply less prominent admiration for Sonic.

Everything, from sometimes to the smallest of lines or visuals to the most impactful ones is tied to the theme of family and familial loss.

Eventhough they have such comparatively small roles in the movie, even Tom and Maddie wanting to join the insanity is a great payoff when thinking about where their characters started.

This story has a theme that is extremely old, but you can't argue with rock solid thematic/character substance (and so can't the critics it seems).

Do I myself think as highly of the movie as the current Rotten Tomatoes score?

Not really, I think I see it more in the ballpark of a firm 7-8/10, but it certainly is fantastic for what it is trying to be.

Thinking a little bit about the future, though, I'm really curious about what they'll do with Metal Sonic and Amy because I think CD and Heroes are to this day my personal "flawed favourites" of the series.

CD was my favourite Sonic game when I was younger because I loved the aesthetics of it, from the intro to the zones to music and Metal Sonic might be my favourite rival character for Sonic because of how the game presents its set pieces.

Unfortunately, I think it just doesn't hold up in terms of level design, in the same way how I think Heroes has awesome level design, but does not hold up because of the control issues and glitches.

So if there's one Sonic movie made "for me", it'll be this 4th one.

I certainly have much higher expectations for it with the context of this one, at least.

[freezeris]

⋆⁺₊❅.🎄personal astro observations ii🎄⋆⁺₊❅.

❗️Just a heads up: I'm not a professional, just an amateur, and these are going to be largely based on my first-hand experiences and people I know. Unfortunately I've had a lot of unfavorable experiences in my earlier life, so there will be a good amount of negative points I make about some placements, but in no way does this mean I think everyone who has these will express them in this way. We all have all 12 signs in our charts, so to hate any one of the archetypes would be detrimental to one's own growth, I think. Also: I mostly use tropical astrology and the placidus house system, so most observations will be based on that.

🎄 I'm sorry Aquarius Moon/Venus, but you are not beating the allegations... 👩‍⚖️ Not to be another person getting on Aquarius Moon/Venus' ass, but them ghosting you as soon as you show too much interest in them is SO real. 😭 If you're interested in one it's probably best to let them do most of the courting/pursuing and let them set the pace.

Aquarius is also ruled by Saturn, after all, so similar to Capricorn they can be more attracted if there's an element of challenge or difficulty in making the relationship work. Although they may not be aware or willing to admit it. 😅 This is why you often see them with partners who are way older, bad boys, rebels or outcasts in some way. Taylor Swift, especially in her youth, was such a good example of this and she is an Aquarius Venus. I mean: the song "Ours" is so fitting for this placement. 😭

That being said, these people usually make for great friends. 💗 It's just hard for them to date/marry because they prefer to naturally transition from friends to lovers without making a big deal of it. Honestly you might be better off not trying to have the "what are we?" conversation if you don't want to risk having them run off to da milk store......even though they're lactose intolerant........😭

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🎄 One reason why I find the Placidus house system so interesting is because of Interceptions and duplicate houses. I have a Gemini – Sagittarius Interception in the 4H – 10H Axis, and I definitely feel as though I was "denied" the traits of these signs in my self-expression. I was actively discouraged from being too curious or questioning of the worldview the adults around me tried to instill in me. My curiousity and zest for exploration & expansion was not nurtured at all. These themes simply weren't present in my upbringing. We never even took a single trip together as family, which is such a direct way for this Interception to manifest. 😅

Interceptions happen when your Midheaven is in a sign that trines or sextiles your Ascendant, instead of doing the normal square. So if you are an Aries Rising, the "normal" layout would call for Capricorn to be your MC, but it's also possible for it to fall in Aquarius instead. (Although this particular combination is very rare and not every combination is possible.) In that case some of the house cusps will be out of order and one pair of sister signs ends up being skipped, while another gets duplicated.

🎄Staying on the topic of Midheaven: when you have it in a sign that's not "normal" for your Ascendant to be paired with, and you look at your chart in the Whole Sign System, you'll notice that it will fall either in your 9th or 11th house, instead of your 10th.

🎄I've noticed that people with their MC in the 9th are more likely to be remembered for things that happened very early in their career or life in general. They are often more associated with how they got to their current point in life, than how they are doing right now. In celebrities I often see this as the media being obsessed with the one performance or song the star delivered in their youth, but not so much caring about the projects they do later in life. 😅

This isn't me calling anyone with this placement "washed up" or saying they peak early, it's just that people are obsessed with the things these natives did earlier in their career, to the point where it can overshadow their later achievements. I have this too, so I'm in the same boat. 🥲 But the good thing about MC in the 9th House is that it's easier to lay low and maintain a good reputation. As long as you weren't involved in too many scandalous things in your youth, at least.

Some examples:

🎄Dylan & Cole Sprouse (Virgo ASC + Taurus MC) who are still most famous for starring in "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody".

🎄Uma Thurman (Virgo ASC + Taurus MC) who is most associated with her roles in Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill.

🎄Dakota Fanning (Taurus ASC + Capricorn MC), was the youngest child actor to receive a SAG nomination, and is largely associated with the roles she took very early on in her career.

🎄Lorde (Capricorn ASC + Virgo MC) released "Royals" when she was 16/17 years young and it's still her most popular single to date.

🎄Robert Pattinson, (Taurus ASC + Capricorn MC) he's most associated with his role in Twilight, even though he's been landing other big roles as well, like him taking up the mantle as the new Batman.

🎄Mariah Carey (Taurus ASC + Capricorn MC) and her most well-known singles were released decades ago.

🎄Ben Affleck (Cancer ASC + Pisces MC), the roles he's most associated with are from films in the 90s and early 2000s.

🎄Johnny Depp (Leo ASC + Aries MC), his most iconic roles are from movies made in the 90s & early 2000s.

₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*

🎄Meanwhile people with their MC in the 11th House, I've noticed, are more likely to have a big breakthrough later in their career. Their reputation tends to shift more frequently as well. Often they are also heavily associated with philantrophy, social justice or how they revolutionized something in their field/the world in general. These natives tend to be more active and popular on social media as well, compared to MC in the 9H.

Some examples:

🎄Chris Evans (Scorpio ASC + Virgo MC) and he had his big breakthrough moment in the 2010s as Captain America, and has enjoyed a lot more popularity from that point onwards.

🎄Antony Starr (Leo ASC + Gemini MC), had been an actor for decades before he took his big role as Homelander.

🎄Ariana Grande (Capricorn ASC + Scorpio MC), of course she is still quite young and has already risen to prominence in her teens/twenties, but her fame and relevancy only seems to be increasing with every year.

🎄Margot Robbie (Cancer ASC + Taurus MC), had her big break in 2013, due to her role in Wolf of Wall Street, and has only continued to cement herself as a popular actor since. The recent Barbie Movie is what really pushed her into the Mainstream.

🎄J.K. Rowling (Aquarius ASC + Sagittarius MC), we all know by now it took her a while to have her breakthrough. Over the years she's been very vocal on social media and her reputation has changed quite a bit. She went from mostly being known as a beloved childrens book author to someone who fights transwomen with tooth and nail... Yet the Harry Potter franchise still continues to grow in popularity, because it has a broad appeal and a lot of people feel nostalgic for it, having grown up with the series.

🎄This one is not 100% confirmed, but I still wanted to bring it up: Taylor Swift (suspected to be a Scorpio ASC + Virgo MC). I personally think this makes sense for multiple reasons. Of course she's always been successful ever since her debut, but her fame only keeps increasing. Even she didn't think she was ever gonna get bigger than she was back at her first peak in 2014, but clearly that has been proven wrong when The Eras Tour rolled around. Her reputation & public reception has changed a lot over the years as well. In part this is definitely due to her strong Scorpio energy (which she would still have even if she wasn't a Scorpio Rising), but having MC in the 11th and in a mutable sign like Virgo can also add to this. She's always been very present on social media, as well. Particularly in the earlier days of her career she was fairly active on MySpace, Tumblr and Twitter.

🎄Not fully confirmed either: but Pedro Pascal said he is either a Gemini or Cancer Rising. His MC would most likely fall in Aries either way, but I'm leaning more towards him being a Gemini Rising. This would also put his MC in his 11th House in Whole Sign, and it's certainly true for him that he has only had his big break in acting less than a decade ago. His popularity only continues to skyrocket with time.

🎄Sidenote: It's VERY RARE, but sometimes it's even possible to have your MC falling in your 8th or 12th house. I know a few celebrities who have, for example, a Gemini Rising with a Capricorn Midheaven, which would fall in their 8H in Whole Signs. I wanted to give a quick acknowledgement that this is also a possibility.

🎄 Paul Mescal is the most obvious Saturn dominant man I've ever seen. All of his planets, except for Pluto & Moon, are either in Saturn-ruled signs or conjunct his Saturn. We don't know his birth time, but no matter what his chart ruler is, Saturn will always be really dominant in his chart. 🪐

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🎄Having Pluto in the 4th or Pluto square Moon could mean your Mother started out as being really controlling, and then somewhere down the line did the opposite thing and abandoned you. Or the opposite scenario happened, where she wasn't very present in the early childhood of her children, but suddenly feels the need to insert herself once they're older. A good fictional example of the latter situation would by Lyra from His Dark Materials and her Mother Marisa Coulter. Pluto rules over extremes and control (issues), so when it touches the Moon or 4th House the mother tends to act in very extreme & controlling ways.

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🎄I would recommend against dating/being close friends with someone who has their Saturn in the same modality as most of your personal planets, especially when it squares. Or rather, you might notice that when you try to, you just don't feel comfortable opening up to them in the first place.

Saturn is where we can have the highest standards and biggest insecurities, causing us to be extremely critical of people who have placements in the same modality as our Saturn.

Unfortunately most of my family members have mutable Saturns, while I'm a mutabe dominant, so I've never felt comfortable being myself with them and they never really appreciated me. For me the ideal partner would probably have a cardinal Saturn, as I only have one cardinal placement. They'd be better off not having too many fixed personal planets themselves, though, since I'm a fixed Saturn and obviously I don't want to constantly feel critical of my partner and closest friends either. 😅

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄I've noticed some Gemini/Mercury dominant natives really have a thing for Bees and pollinators. I knew a Gemini Sun, Virgo Rising who said they were her favorites and even got a tattoo of one. She would often try to rescue them too. 🐝

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🎄I've noticed Pisces dominants, especially Pisces Venus, tend to prefer media that is more lighthearted and family friendly. They're pretty sensitive to negative energies, so they don't usually like saturating their minds with too much dark & serious stuff. It can really weigh on them and cause nightmares. It's also probably due to being exalted in Venus, which is a planet that mostly relates to pleasant energies. So Taurus & Libra dominants could also be like this, but for Pisces it's usually more emotionally intense as a water sign.

🎄 Mars in the 9th often gets this rep of forcing their own views on others, and it for sure can manifest this way. But I will say as someone with this placement myself, that I've CONSTANTLY been on the receiving end of this treatment, but I've never actually tried to do this myself because I fucking loathe when someone does that. I notice with this placement that if you (as the 9th House Mars person) don't stand firm in your beliefs, you'll have so many mfers come at you and try to bully you into taking on their belief system. 😭 I guess this is because where your Mars sits you invite in conflict and shows of dominance the most from other people. If you're not adamant and dominant enough in your beliefs, someone else will try to dominate that area of your life for you. You really gotta say: "No I don't take criticism, fuck off! 👊💥👊💥👊💥"

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄 8H Suns can sometimes have a father that is considered wealthy because the Sun = Father and 8H = inheritances. However, I will say as a 8H Sun myself, my father/family has always lived pretty close to the poverty line (although it could've been worse and I'm grateful for what I did have growing up), BUT when I compare my father to his parents and siblings, he is indeed the most successful person in his family. I'd say it's the same with Moon in 8H = having a (relatively) wealthy mother. A lot of things in astrology are relative compared to the persons family and peers, so not everyone with this will be RICH rich.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄 Another thing that an 8H Sun/Moon could indicate is having a parent who is often physically (sometimes emotionally) absent from the natives life. It doesn't have to be straight up abandonment, it can also show up as the parent just traveling a lot for work or spending a lot of time at work. It doesn't always have to be in the natives childhood either. Sometimes they will have their parent for most of their childhood, but then the native themself moves away to a different city or country for boarding school/college/work/other reasons and could really miss their parents because of it. Sun or Moon in the 12th can experience this too, from what I've seen. The traveling/long distance aspect would apply even more strongly to the 12th House placements.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄I often see Cancer Rising & a dominant Moon in the Solar Return Chart be cited as a strong indicator for conceiving/birthing children. And that's true, but I've rarely seen people mention Venus dominance in the SR chart being an indicator of this as well.

Because when I checked when my mother gave birth to both me and my sister, she had a Taurus & Libra ASC respectively. In the Taurus Rising SR her Venus (Chart Ruler) fell in her 5th house, along with the Sun & North Node.

In the Libra Rising SR she didn't have the Chart Ruler in the 5th or 4th, but she did have Venus conjunct Jupiter, Juno & North Node (in the 9th) + Uranus in the 5th. The Moon was also conjunct IC but from the 3rd house. And indeed, my sister was not a planned addition to the family, as Uranus would suggest.

🎄Cancer & Leo are the only-children of the Zodiac. They are basically meant to be the most "selfish" signs since they are ruled by the Luminaries (Sun & Moon) which are the most egoic planets. They are also the only signs to not share a planetary ruler with any other sign, hence why I lovingly call them "only children" lol. 😂 I can't stress enough that when I say this I don't mean it as an insult. It's just what the signs and their ruling planets represent. Ego isn't all bad. Plus, that's why they have the Saturn ruled signs (Capricorn and Aquarius) as their sister signs. They're here to make sure Leo and Cancer don't become blind to their surroundings, since Saturn and Capricorn + Aquarius rule over institutions, communities and societal structure, while the Moon/Cancer and Sun/Leo are very "self" & survival based.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄 If you lack a certain element or modality in your chart, you'll probably feel more attracted to people dominant in this energy as well. I have very little fire and air energy, so most of the people that felt drawn to me or that I felt drawn to were dominant in it.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄Very specific, but if you have a T-square you can also find yourself attracting people who have placements in the "empty leg" sign. Basically the sign opposite to the planet that receives the squares. In my case that would be Gemini, and that's probably the sign I used to attract the most. 😂

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄I don't know that many Capricorn Moons, and I've never had a super close relationship with one, but those that I have known were usually really sweet to me. Maybe that's just my impression because I'm also an Earth Moon, so we trine and naturally have easy rapport. But based on all the descriptions I've read y'all made them sound so cold and scary? 😭 Well they don't seem to be with me. 😌💅 Might also be in part because they fall in my 5H. Other people's placements in your 5th house will have a hard time resisting being more open and silly around you. 🐐 🎊

I mean, apparently everyone's favorite man, Pedro Pascal, is a Capricorn Moon too. And it even squares his Sun, yet he is extremely charming and likeable (sorry but I can't not simp, I am not immune to this man 🙈).

WELL, that is it for now, folks! Thanks for reading, if you've come this far. MWAH. 🫶

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄dividers by dollywons🎄

[otherone12]

Merry Christmas, Guys!

MCR x Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Hey! Merry christmas, everyone! I suppoused to post this december 24th... but there was a blackout in my neighborhood and I didn't have internet… so, here it is! Hope u like it!

Summary: Some of my head cannons of Christmas stuff...

- Warnings: Really cliché

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

-> Gerard

- You both decide to make gingerbread houses, but despite your best efforts to make them look Pinterest-perfect, they end up being a bit more "creative" than expected. There’s icing everywhere, and the candy decorations seem to defy any sense of order, but you both end up laughing at the masterpiece you’ve created;

- Of course you will cuddle and watch "Nightmare Before Christmas", You cozy up on the couch with a blanket and steal kisses in between your favorite songs, laughing when you both get the lyrics wrong;

- If you’re hosting the Christmas dinner at your house, he’ll help set the table, making sure everything’s in place, and then pitch in to cook something simple yet delicious—maybe even letting you take the lead, but staying close to help whenever you need it;

- You both sit together, painting Christmas balls before placing them on the tree. Each ornament is covered in little snowflakes, reindeer, gifts, and all sorts of whimsical designs. You have fun being creative, and it’s the perfect way to make the tree even more you.

- You will make garlands and have long debates about where to place each element of it;

- You both can’t wait until Christmas Eve to exchange gifts. The excitement is too much, so you agree to open your presents early. You both give each other thoughtful, sometimes funny gifts;

- On Christmas Eve, he’ll convince you to stay in bed until midday. Wrapped up in blankets and holding each other close, he’ll tell you you’re his “Christmas gift,” making you smile at how sweet and cheesy he’s being. But you don’t mind one bit, especially when you're together;

- He’ll look at you with a teasing grin, saying, “You look pretty even in this awful sweater,” as you both wear your ridiculous holiday-themed outfits;

- After the Christmas dinner, he sets up a cozy spot by the fireplace where you both just talk and enjoy the warmth;

- He’ll take you ice skating even though neither of you are great at it, and you end up holding hands to avoid falling over.

___________________________________________

-> Frank

-He'll casually walk around with mistletoe in his pocket, waiting for the perfect moment. When he holds it between you, he'll smirk and say, “Hey… I didn’t make the rules,” before stealing a kiss, acting like it’s the most natural thing in the world;

- He will probablly prank you with a fake terrible gift before give you the real one;

- You’ll settle in with hot chocolate, blankets, and maybe a couple of cookies as you watch "Home Alone". He’ll quote the lines with you, laughing at the same jokes every time, and getting cozy as you both enjoy the movie.

- He won’t be able to wait until Christmas Eve to open gifts. If you even try to hold out, he’ll beg and plead, giving you puppy-dog eyes until you finally cave and let him open them early. He’ll be so excited, it’s impossible to resist;

- You’ll decide to bake something together, but it’ll end up going hilariously wrong (maybe the cookies burn or the cake falls apart). Despite the mess, he’ll laugh it off, saying it’s part of the fun, and you’ll both end up eating your imperfect creations anyway.

- Get ready for some cheesy holiday humor! He’ll tell the corniest Christmas jokes like, “What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph,” and you’ll roll your eyes, but secretly, you’ll be laughing because his bad jokes are part of his charm;

- He’ll spend way too long messing with the Christmas lights—maybe they won’t work, or they’ll keep short-circuiting. But when they finally light up perfectly, he’ll stand back with a proud grin, like he just won an Olympic gold medal, and say, “Told you I could do it.”;

- He’ll surprise you with a last-minute Christmas date, where you both drive around to see Christmas lights, eating candy canes and hot chocolate, talking and laughing;

___________________________________________

-> Ray

- ou’ll spend the day watching a marathon of cheesy Christmas movies, laughing at all the overly dramatic scenes and predictable plot twists. You both make fun of the corny moments, quoting lines and sharing playful jabs, but secretly, you both enjoy every second of it;

- Ray takes charge of cooking the Christmas dinner, but you insist on helping. Despite your best intentions, he’s the one doing most of the work, guiding you through each step. He laughs and reassures you that you're the “taste tester” for his creations, giving you playful kisses whenever you offer a critique;

- You will dance together to old Christmas Songs, not like serious dance, but having fun while he spin you around the living room and stole kisses;

- He’s the type to get you a really thoughtful, sentimental gift that might be something that reminds you of a memory you shared together, like a framed photo of your first holiday together.

- Ray creates a personalized Advent calendar for you, giving you small, meaningful gifts every day throughout December. It could be a necklace, a book you’ve been eyeing, or even a tube of your favorite lipstick. Each gift is carefully chosen, with a note attached, making you feel loved every single day;

- Ray is the type of person who insists on giving you a “Christmas morning breakfast,” which usually consists of pancakes, waffles, bacon, and eggs—and he’ll serve it in bed while you both relax.

___________________________________________

-> Mikey

- : Mikey surprises you with a Christmas card, and as you read the message, you can’t help but laugh. It’s a perfect blend of humor and sentimentality, somehow making you feel incredibly loved while still getting a good chuckle;

- You and Mikey head to the ice rink for a fun day of skating. But what starts as a casual activity quickly turns into a competition to see who can fall the least. Mikey, with his trademark coolness, insists that slipping isn’t a big deal, even when he takes a small tumble, and you both end up laughing so hard you can hardly keep your balance;

- Mikey takes over the kitchen to bake you a batch of gingerbread cookies. They might not win any baking awards (some are a little too crispy or misshapen) but Mikey’s proud, and he looks at you with a grin, saying, “Hey, they’re homemade, that’s what counts.” The thought and effort make them taste all the sweeter;

- He’ll sneak up on you during Christmas morning, offering you a cup of hot cocoa and a sweet smile before you even open your presents.

- He will make you a personalized Christmas playlist filled with songs that remind him of you, including some rare tracks he thinks you’d love;

- He will probably get sentimental about Christmas, often recalling funny stories about past holidays, making you both laugh and get lost in the warm memories.

- You both will end up having snowball wars during de Christmas season. It starts out lighthearted, but soon, you’re both throwing snowballs with serious determination, laughing and dodging as the snow piles up around you;

___________________________________________

- So, that's it! Hope u liked! <3

- Tag List: @bossiestbitch @mimilovesnumetal

[dickyspacious]

Thoughts on Sonic Movie 3

Background: Sonic Adventure 2 changed me fundamentally as a child born the same year as Sonic Adventure 1.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

The movie adaptation of SA2 did a fantastic job of adapting the elements of the original story that were most digestible to a wide audience, those being Shadow's (mildly compromised) backstory, his relationship with Maria and G.U.N, and his redemption and sacrifice to correct the things he set in motion.

The humor was good and fun! Lighthearted as a kids movie is, but enough genuinely fun bits of comedy to be enjoyable as a young adult. Jim Carrey carries a significant portion of the movie himself, as was the case in movie 1 and especially movie 2.

Visually, this one looked really great! Shadow looked phenomenal in this, looking noticeably better than Sonic did, and only a hair better than Knuckles and Tails. I was discussing with friends about this specific point, perhaps Shadow's frontal outline is just a bit stronger than Sonic's? The quills sticking out to the sides in comparison to Sonic's disappearing behind his head?

Story-wise, in comparison to SA2 the video game, it's good enough for me to be satisfied with. Below is the ramblings of a madman.

Shadow's origin is fully alien (assumedly black arms). In the movie universe, he falls from space in a black arms meteorite. Maria is never said to have an incurable disease, and there's no connection to the ancient Echidna murals depicting Super Sonic and Final Weapon that Gerald researched on Angel Island. We never get to see Shadow happy while living with Maria. We never got to see them develop into brother and sister. A large part of the angst that Shadow carries is the isolation of being so immensely powerful, but still being unable to fulfill the purpose he was created with all that power for. The research project that lead to his birth was a desperate gamble by Gerald to try to find a cure for Maria's NIDS with the help of Black Arms DNA.

Somehow, Shadow is introduced and explored without Chaos Control ever being mentioned. This is a byproduct to the shortcomings of Sonic movie 2, where the chaos emeralds were entirely sidelined for the Master Emerald, which in this universe, seems to be an amalgam of the 7 emeralds rather than a distinct "Controller" emerald. It's never named, but many obviously chaos powers are shown. Shadow warps around the room in his reveal scene. He uses Chaos Spear in his super form to destroy the cloud of G.U.N robots. He uses "Chaos Energy" to charge the Eclipse Cannon.

Shadow removes his inhibitor rings during the Super Teamup, which WOULD make the SA2 version of events work even more phenomenally than it does in the game, but because Sonic fizzles out first and Shadow ends up dying* to the cannon, that significance is lost. Those rings are suppose to keep his output of natural chaos energy within reason. Think 8 Inner Gates from Naruto, where unlimiting yourself burns you to nothing unless otherwise stopped.

Gerald is alive and is directly responsible for the "dark side story" and egging Shadow on avenge Maria. He never got the chance to remove memories about Maria in this story, but instead fed those painful memories to him in real time while they were face to face. Gerald being alive is the single thread that allows for Amy and Rouge to be omitted from this story without consequence. Both Rouge and Amy were critical to Shadow regaining his memories of Maria and his promise that he made to her. Throughout the game story, Shadow makes it clear he remembers making a promise to Maria, her sending him to the surface, and her getting killed by G.U.N soldiers. But because of Gerald, he never remembers WHAT that promise was, but through the kindness Rouge and Amy show him, he eventually breaks through and remembers his promise was to HELP. He might not have been able to save her, but he can save everyone else.

The movie chooses to rework this dynamic. He remembers everything that happened of that day. Meeting back up with Gerald was the single worst thing that could have happened to him. Gerald is the living embodiment of the life that was stolen from him. He's an old wound on Shadow that's still festering. This allows Shadow to fall deeper into his anger, but still naturally come out of it upon reflection. "Is this what Maria would have wanted?" This is something he never got to ask himself in the game because of how devoted to her he was.

[elitadream]

I swear you pull off Mario and Luigi's bond perfectly in this AU! (And not just in this AU but in your other art as well!)

I can imagine the adventures your versions of Mario and Luigi go on!

For some reason, Super Mario Odyssey is coming to mind. I wonder how this version of Bowser and Peach would go in that, since Bowser is much more cruel in your verse. I also remember Luigi's Balloon World, where Luigi's so supportive to Mario. I can imagine your version of Mario being so happy to chat with his brother, venting his fears and pains as well as receiving love and comfort and telling happy memories to Luigi too. All while Luigi comforts Mario and laughs with Mario during happy times.

Also, poor Luigi in the Snow Kingdom forgetting his coat, he looked so cold in his overalls. I can imagine Mario instantly dragging his shivering brother to the Odyssey for soup and blankets.

Sorry for the rambling. My point is, your version of Mario and Luigi and Peach and Bowser is soo cool and I love them and it makes me think of what the games would be like in your verse (we need more vulnerable Mario). I just needed to let it all out. Keep up the good work and thank you!

Thank you! 🥹 I'm sure glad you like my portrayal of the bros! I just love them so much. 💞

Also these are all wonderful examples!! While I haven't thought of full adventures for them yet per say, I've often pictured them in a wide variety of very specific scenarios; picturing how each would react to this or that situation, how their interactions would go, what the primary mood would be, etc. 😊 Be it in a context where they're younger, where one of them is feeling down, where there are romantic shenanigans involved or where the setting is cozy and domestic, I find their relationship simply delightful to explore!

And omg YES, more vulnerable Mario ftw!! 😩💯 Some could say that mine is arguably perhaps even a bit too vulnerable, but that's just how I like to present him. 🥺💖 Emotional depth and openness is one of my absolute favorite traits to illustrate, and in my personal opinion, it's one that suits Mario quite well. ☺️

[yujeong]

Apparently we got the plot of 4 Minutes at a convention in Hong Kong and I am losing my mind over it, thank you.

[akkivee]

AND THEIR SAUCE????????

[vaguely-concerned]

Origins is of course the DA game most closely in conversation with and playing around with Tolkien (right down to the walking talking poetree haha) -- and even more so than most works in the larger western fantasy tradition derived from Tolkien's work that DA:O also hails from and owes a lot of its Stuff to, what makes the game so great to me is that it's doing so very deliberately, and is subverting and deconstructing those tropes and entrenched ideas in some very interesting ways without at all denigrating what it's commenting on. (it doesn't have the almost disdainful undertones of the vein of fantasy that seeks to make the world more 'realistic' ala the more tedious reactions to G.R.R.Martin's work, for example, despite having the darker fantasy bent to it.) among other elements it adopts, what I find the most fascinating is the choice to use the same literary device/conceit Tolkien did in ostensibly only having in-universe biased sources and works to deliver the world through (which I feel is an underappreciated thing about his approach but is part of what makes his world so enduringly compelling and real-feeling -- the feeling of real scholarship devoted/applied to a made-up world. the grounding effect of a good diegetic footnote about source criticism, truly).

many things to be said there, and I'm glad each following game has taken on different perspectives and lenses and traditions to view the world of Thedas through because if you stick with that one too closely for too long I fear we could teeter precariously close to Pratchett's famous and bitingly accurate accusation of most modern fantasy of that era just being about rearranging the furniture in Tolkien's attic lol. and while you could accuse DA2 (my perfect wife who has never done anything wrong in her life to be clear) of many things, that's not one of them, they are pulling on some completely different strings for that one and both the game and DA overall is better for it, to my mind. as so many things in this series: worth staying with and exploring for an installment even if it might get stale if all of it was like this! people are understandably sad about the elements from previous games that they liked which were lost along the way, but that capacity for reinvention is to my mind a huge strength of dragon age as a whole.

(I think Veilguard is coming in as a close second in Tolkien conversation-ness if only in outlining/revealing the worldbuilding that indeed may have been planned since DA:O around the animosity that SHOULD by all rights exist between dwarves and elves in this universe (as per Tolkienesque tradition standards). but doesn't really because you see: politics and the many pitfalls of conservation of knowledge over the ages. our ancestral enmity got semi-intentionally lost between the floorboards of history and you know what. maybe for the best. the humans are already up to so much shit you gotta keep your eyes on them at all times you can't be brawling with each other in the deep roads while they're still around getting up to their nonsense or they'll just pile up even more of it)

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, you're being lied to about what fitness constitutes. If you can't work in an hour-long crossfit slog, but you can work in a five-minute walk, then that is still fitness. If you can't use your legs but you can do arm circles every now and again, that is still fitness. If you're moving around at work, that's still fitness. It can be intentional or incidental, but here's the best part: your body doesn't care if you're dedicating specific work-out times. It doesn't care if the "only" fitness it gets is your nine to five on your feet. It doesn't care, fitness is fitness is fitness. Some of us do it differently, but the end result is more or less similar.

If you can do any type of fitness safely, your body isn't going to care if you're doing it like an Olympic athlete or if you're just a casual.

[hinamie]

i won't call myself confident just yet but i will say locking myself in bg improvement jail lately has been ,,kinda fun ?? in like a masochistic kind of way