#that's my biggest worry when it comes to these things

[vexxandra]

25 predictions for 2025 (pick-a-card reading)

happy new year sillies <3 01-01-2025 ☆

disclaimer: all of my readings are just for fun, you write your own story every day of your life, dont let me tell you how to live it

pile 1 > pile 2 pile 3 > pile 4

pile 1

biggest theme: change

reflexion and redirection are major elements of the new year

breaking free of past shackles : discarding old things

miracle year, a lot of wonderful things are coming

be selfish. you are in charge of your own happiness

you will learn to love yourself this year

fulfilling year especially in terms of career or academics. make sure to properly prepare in order to gain an edge over others

early bird gets the worm mentality

"winter arc" mindset the whole year. "lock in"

first six months will be very busy, you'll focus on yourself and not have the time for romance

learning how to collaborate with others

big lesson: learning how to work through burnout

august 2025 will be a very happy month for you

potential summer fling, will reginite flames you didn't know you had

some kind of soul fulfillment, could potentially be romantic or personal

imbalanced feminine energy, learning to reconnect with your divine feminine

a turbulent period will occur (im hearing mercury retrograde)

last half of the year might be grey

sleepy energy, taking things slower

make sure to rest, dont push yourself to move when sluggy

you're going to end the year with a nice energy. i see you surrounded by lots of family, friends and people you hold dear

if last year did not feel chrismassy, dont worry, because this year will

an extra message about children and new families. pregancy within you or another may occur

releasing all anxieties caused by this year, and a lot of reflexion

overall a pretty good year, some guidance i might give would be to not push yourself over the edge, and try not to drink too much caffiene <3

pile 2

biggest theme: self love

i get the feeling you've lost someone very important this year, most likely a break up, but you still have feelings for them

disillusionment and prioritizing yourself are big themes for this year

you're going to recognize that this person was pretty toxic and will take them off of their pedestal

learning how to fall in love again, with yourself and with life

reconnecting with your femininity

a lot of themes about toxicity and distancing yourself from people that don't have your best interests at heart

crown chakra healing by taking one day at a time (a LOT of light purple imagery in this reading)

very tumultuous first few months of the year, you'll feel like your life is flipping upside down and rightside up for a while

reconnecting with your spiritual guides and your spirituality/religion will bring you peace

if you're not religious, exploring some concepts may occupy your time

potential new romantic interest, but you must fall in love with yourself first

advice i can give would be to start something new, and to spend a lot of time by yourself. take yourself on dates and spend time with loved ones

sleep is very important this year, maybe consider starting a dream journal

i feel like most of you will get into some kind of artsy hobby this year. this can be anything from visual to musical to physical, but i can see it becoming a big passion

learning how to be more flexible in your thoughts and actions is a big lesson

springtime (particularly may) will be an amazing period

indie movie life in the spring, it'll feel like your life is straight out of a book

productivity, creativity, and happiness will be at an all-time high

you'll meet so many new people during this time, and im seeing some travelling too

child-like energy, almost like a giddy joy

make sure to not forget your responsabilities, i can see that you might be too caught up in your excitement and forget to balance work and play

overall very good year. it might not feel like it right now, but things are guarenteed to get better <3

some guidance i would give would be to reflect on your past, but never to dwell in it

pile 3

biggest theme: new beginnings and hope

amazing potential, i can see you're carrying something precious from 2024, and wanting it to grow in the new year

it will, but be sure to wait for the right time and approach it with dedication, consistency and care

strong foundations are laid, but be sure to not be reckless

good communication and problem resolving skills are going to be very important this year

flexibility and detachment are going to be vital too, dont try to control situations and dictate outcomes

forgive others for their mistakes but be sure to be assertive too

for those in a romantic relationship: this relationship will last a long time <3

messages about changing your identity, there will be a time when you dont recognize yourself, take some time to reconnect with your inner values

"lucky girl syndrome" mindset. you'll be attracting so many blessings this year

abundance really is yours this year, the cards are showing so many blessings coming your way

affirm to yourself that you have everything you desire, and it will appear

summertime will be an extremely happy period for you. i see a lot of happy memories being made, and a lot of productivity as well

the end of summer and fall might be when things slow down a little, i see a little more uncertainty and anxiety, but it will all pass

big emphasis on relationships this year, but mostly romantic

for those currently in a relationship, here is confirmation that your person is a soulmate and will be in your life long-term

for the singles out there, you'll soon meet an amazing person (timeframe: june or july)

in terms of academics and career, your year will be pretty tame

there will be important decisions to make, and that might stress you out, but the outcome will be good

bottom line: the ending of this year will be good, and there's nothing you can do to change that

important lessons you will need to learn will be to think things through before acting upon them, hanging with people you feel truly appreciate you, and walking away when you feel they don't

appearances may be deceiving, make sure the people you surround yourself with have your best interests at heart

do not compare yourself with others, this year will hammer in that lesson time and time again

overall a very good year, some guidance i would give would be to guard your heart from people with negative intentions. there are snakes and backstabbers everywhere, keep yourself safe <3

pile 4

biggest theme: self-improvement

this year you'll return to your roots, fully shedding your old life to try and reconnect with your innermost values

reassess what works for you and what doesn't, i sense a lot of toxcitity in your life

this year you'll develop many new relationships with many new people

these relationships will provide interpersonal insight: remember that you are who you surround yourself with

this year, you'll practice setting boundaries

its never aggressive to be assertive, and those who matter won't mind

despite the heavy focus on new relationships, prioritize yourself

going on walks, meditating, journalling and going on solo dates are all amazing ways to start to feel comfortable alone

this year will be full of endings, dont resist it, embrace it

change isn't inherently bad, just like how difference isn't inherently bad

very financially stable year, you'll be more open to taking career risks

if there were any financial struggles in the past year, take comfort in knowing there will be little to nothing of the sort in the future

be careful to not be boastful about your finances though, as its better to succeed in silence

you create your own happiness, you are the main character, stop relying on others to save you

this year, you'll stop seeking others validation and look inside of yourself to find what you've been searching for in others

you'll be stepping into a bad bitch energy this year, one that feels comfortable being alone or with others

strong leadership is something you'll be developping this year, as well as strong manifestation skills

you want it, you're going to get it!!

go after all of your goals this year, hesitance will do you no good

i can see that at the end of the year, you'll emerge a totally different person

you'll be more confident, self-assured and more joyful (i sense that autumn is an important time period)

overall, this year will be a fresh chapter in your life

you'll shed the old you, bad habits, and negative aspects to make way for a life and personality that's authentically you

some advice i would give would be to not be afraid to stand apart, dont worry about the opinions of others

speak of success, and it will come to you <3

[nonotnolan]

Guess Who - College Edition

The week after the holidays was always a stressful time for Tyler. It had a lot going for it, of course— school hadn’t started yet, the parties would soon be picking up in full swing— but the Greek Life Traditions had the potential to be hell for a closeted gay man such as himself. Sigma Epsilon Chi had a tradition that when school wasn't in session, a handful of guys would swap bodies in pairs for the week. Everyone would try to guess who had swapped with who, and though it was only for bragging rights, some guys took it very seriously.

Once he knew that he would only be guessing, he had to admit it was actually kind of fun trying to tell who was themselves and who was pretending to be someone else. The anxiety happened when the participants were still being decided. Some of his fellow frat brothers were legacy members whose bodies were just as average as his own, but just as many of them were attractive, athletic men who rushed for the sake of the social status. The thought of having to spend time in a body far better than his own… sure, it was exciting, but how could he possibly abstain from the temptation for that long?

Well, he was about to find out. Ethan had tapped him out to be one of the swapped, and he was about to find out whose body he would be taking for the week. It wasn’t the first time that Tyler was walking down to the basement where the spell circle was carved into the concrete floor, but somehow it never got any easier. Last time he swapped with Devin, an engineering student whose body wasn’t too much of a change from his own, but he had a feeling that his luck was about to run out.

“I’m swapping with Tyler? Hell yeah, we’re gonna fool everybody!”

He was swapping with Blaine. Of course he was swapping with Blaine. The man was one of the hottest guys in the fraternity, and the unknowing recipient of Tyler’s biggest crush. He exuded confidence without even trying, and the way that the muscle definition of his arms bulged out of his sleeves never failed to get Tyler excited. Not that Blaine usually wore shirts around the house— it was rare to see him wearing anything that covered his chest unless he was having to go to class. His shoulders were impossibly wide, and his body was a temple of muscle. Worse still, he was so friendly and easygoing that he had no idea how embarrassed Tyler felt whenever he was near him. There was no way he would be able to spend time in that body without wanking himself senseless. “Fuck me, I’m going to have to swap bodies with Blaine.”

Blaine looked at him with a bit of a hurt expression on his face. “What, you don’t want to swap bodies with me? Come on, Tyler, this body is great!”

Shit, had he said that out loud? “No, I didn’t mean… of course it’s great! It’s just that, your body is so good it’s kind of intimidating. It makes me feel like if I eat junk food in your body, I’ll ruin it,” Tyler said, rushing to tell him a white lie. "It's good, it's just... it's a lot."

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Blaine said, patting him on the shoulder. “We’re just two guys swapping bodies. I can go a few days without working out at the gym. And hey, it’s not like I’m new to this whole body swapping thing. If you wanna get laid while you’re in my body-- honestly, I take it as a compliment.” He gave Tyler a playful push on the shoulder. “You know I’m gonna try to do the same, right? You’re a good looking guy! I’m taking you out to the bars to get drunk, and I bet I’ll score while I’m there. It’s still a vacation week, everyone is looking to get laid.”

Tyler just stood there, blinking, as he tried to comprehend what Blaine had just said. Empty compliments aside, had he really granted him permission to do anything he wanted? He barely registered Ethan guiding him over to the spell circle and uttering the incantation. Blaine had just given him permission to get laid inside of his body.

Tyler rummaged through Blaine’s closet, playing dress-up with his new muscular frame. Most of the man’s wardrobe consisted of sweatpants, gym shorts, and free t-shirts. It wasn’t surprising, but it was disappointing. He was planning to dropbox some photos of Blaine’s body to his own personal account for later usage, and he was hoping for a few sophisticated outfits to contrast Blaine’s gym bro vibes. He was also planning to take Blaine up on his offer to get laid, just… perhaps in a way that he hadn’t intended when he gave Tyler blank permission. He pulled up the Google Play store on Blaine’s phone, and searched for Grindr only to discover it had already been downloaded. His heart started to race faster— he hadn’t seen the app on any of the main screens, did that mean Blaine had hidden it away in a folder somewhere? Surely it was more likely that someone else had downloaded it during a prior swap? Well, there was only one way to find out. He took a deep break and clicked ‘open’.

He couldn’t believe his luck— it was an active profile. Bi_greekguy_Est_02. No profile photo, and a description that just read “discreet, message for pics”. This changed everything. He absolutely had to fuck his own body. But how could he pull Blaine into a private discussion without being suspicious? The two of them never really crossed paths, so anything direct would be incredibly suspicious. He could pretend to ask for help, but it would have to be something Tyler could actually help with. He had fixed Jacob’s computer once, and Blaine didn’t have a reputation for being tech savvy… that could work? It was worth the risk. Tyler walked downstairs to his body’s room, enjoying the heft of his shoulders as he walked. “Is Tyler in there?” he said, casually knocking on the doorframe. “I’ve got an issue with my laptop, and Jacob said you might be able to fix it.”

Blaine emerged from the room, glaring at him in concern but otherwise playing along. “I… yeah, Blaine I can take a look at it,” he said. “Lead the way, I guess.” He followed Tyler back to his body’s room, and made sure that the door was shut before beginning to yell at him. “What in the hell are you thinking, dude! I never come down to the basement! What in the hell could be so important that you— ohh.” Tyler responded by showing him the Grindr profile he’d found. He crossed his arms, scowling defensively. “I… yeah, okay. So what, I’m bisexual. What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is that I’m a gay man,” Tyler said. “If I had known I wasn’t the only non-straight guy here, I would have tried my luck ages ago. I know you want to win this weekend, but some things are more fun than trying to fool the rest of the guys. I don’t care if we get identified immediately, as long as we have fun. I thought you were out of my league. I still think you’re out of my league. But now that I’m inside of you? You can bet your ass I’ll be taking advantage of every minute.” He flexed for emphasis, watching the definition on Blaine’s arm.

Blaine laughed. “Well, if we’re being honest… I’ve always thought you looked like a cute bottom, but I didn’t know if you were gonna get offended if I asked. I didn’t want to risk my reputation as the macho gym bro to ask you if you were gay. You want to know why I was excited to swap with you? I was excited to end up in your body so that I could take it out to all the gay bars. I’m gonna get your ass railed so hard that it’ll still be sore after we swap back.”

Tyler couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I… you thought I was cute?”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Blaine said, as he started to blush. “You don’t have to be aggressively masculine to be desirable. We are absolutely becoming fuck buddies once this is over. You can be my tutor if you want to keep it discreet.”

Tyler pressed down on Blaine’s shoulders, taking advantage of his body’s light stature to lower him to his knees. “Who said anything about waiting until this is over?” Tyler started to slowly untie his sweatpants, letting the unspoken tension build as he adjusted the waistband of his boxers. “Do you really expect me to believe you haven’t fantasized about getting fucked by your own cock?”

Blaine looked at the eight inches of erect cock positioned a few inches in front of his face, and then looked up into the eyes of his body. He couldn’t help but laugh. “We’re not going to make it out to the bars this weekend, are we?”

[inkdrinkerworld]

Fake I.D

synopsis: cowboy!james is infatuated with you and your flirting, so you take him line dancing to get him to make a love

cw: suggestive content, 18+ only, grinding, flirting, use of the word pervert, James and reader are kind of idiots in love

Your hot pink and white boots will be the death of James and he knows you know that.

He can count on one hand how many times he’s seen you out of them and the total number of times is one- every other time, it’s been those godforsaken hot pink and white boots with a thick heel that makes your legs look like something out of his teenage wet dreams.

You’re not new in town, you and James have known each other since primary school but it was in secondary school that you really plagued his every waking thought. You were pretty, and kind, but also confident and didn’t take shit from anyone. James found it wildly attractive.

You and James hadn’t been close friends, but you’d always been friendly. His friend Sirius had introduced you both at a party, and you’d been friendly since that.

The turning point in you and James’ friendship had come not too long after you’d started working at a salon.

James’ parents own the biggest horse farm in town, and you’d rescued a tiny colt that had been trapped up in some bushes while you were on a hike, and drove it to James’ family ranch in the back of your pickup with tears in your eyes because of the cuts on its legs.

James had never seen you, loud, confident you, in tears like that and his heart nearly jumped out of his chest as you hiccuped through your words to tell him about the colt. He and his dad had taken it out of your tray and everyday the colt was on the ranch, you went over to check on him.

Eventually, James was able to nurse the poor thing to perfect health and then asked you if you wanted to name it after his dad told him they’d keep it.

James wasn’t shy himself, but sometimes when you looked right into his eyes, lashes framing your eyes, it made his heart stutter.

“You really think I should?” You had asked, eyes wide with excitement but also a bit of apprehension.

“Yeah, ‘course. It’d only be right.” and as you had stroked the near blood coloured mane, the face of the horse in your other hand, the name came to you easily.

“Copper.”

You and that horse and James had been inseparable after that and James nearly lost his breath every time you went to the ranch after that- cutoff shorts, hot pink and white boots and shirts James swore made him feel like a pervert.

Now, you’re at James’ ranch, a brush in Copper’s mane as you look at James tending to his own filly- Moondancer.

“Please Jamie? It’s fun and you never stay for the dancing.”

He knows he’s fighting a losing battle. You’re doing those puppy dog eyes and you’ve got red eyeliner on to match your shirt and James feels a little overwhelmed with his attraction to you.

“I’ll be your partner all night, Jamie. Won’t leave you to be eaten up by the ladies- save that luxury just for me.”

You giggle when he sputters and his cheeks flush. “Alright, angel. What time do I meet you at the Boneyard?”

You gasp, all faux aghast. “You won’t pick me up at my house? Where’s your southern hospitality?”

James rolls his eyes, “I can do that too. Say seven or eight?”

You pop your hip as Copper nuzzles into your hand. “Will you be all done by then? I don’t want you to cut into your chores and stuff Jamie?”

You’re so earnest, and the flirting has been put to a pause making James turn to goo.

“I’ll be all done, angel. Don’t worry.”

At five thirty, you’re all finished with your makeup, nothing too extreme, just a smokey eye with glitter on your lids and the heavy black eyeliner you noticed James likes.

Your hair is out and ripples down your back in loose curls, your most recent haircut making them look even better than usual.

You’re not trying to impress him, but you have a plan for how tonight is going to end and you want James to finally take all your flirting as seriously as you mean it.

So you dress up and pull out all the stops that you know he likes- the hot pink boots a must, your low rise jeans, and your skirt that says, ‘save a horse.’

When James knocks, you squeal, boots clacking as you race to the door.

“Hey Jamie,” you sing-song as you pull the door open, James taking in a deep breath as his eyes rake over you.

“You look stunning.” There’s a little husk to his voice that you love.

As he gives you a once over, you do the same. He’s dressed in his most relaxed pair of jeans, a blue wash that makes his already thick thighs look ever thicker, a black t-shirt that clings to his arms and nearly makes you drool and his hat. God you love and hate his hat- you love it because he looks stunning in it; but you hate it because it hides away his pretty curls. God you love those curls.

“So do you, Jamie.I like your shirt, it makes your arms look nice.”

He smirks, a little emboldened. “Oh yeah?”

You nod, stepping out of your door, “Ready to go?”

James nods and holds his arm out to you, smiling to himself when your hand wraps around his bicep and not his forearm.

The Boneyard is packed as it usually is, most of the patrons are already more than a little drunk, but you spot some of the girls at your salon, some of James’ friends and some tourists who’re no doubt in tonight for the line dancing.

“A cherry vodka angel?” James asks, wanting a drink to dispel some of his nerves.

“Yes please, James. I’ll go see what songs they have for tonight.”

James nods, watching you walk off first before going over to the bar. Sirius is working tonight, a smirk on his face as he spots James and then spots where he’s looking.

“Finally doing something about all her flirting, Potter?” he asks and James flushes a little as Sirius passes him a beer and then makes your drink without James saying a word.

It takes him a little by surprise that Sirius knows it, but then it dawns on James that he talks about you a lot to his best friend. A lot.

“Trying, but she makes me so fucking nervous, Pads.”

Sirius laughs, patting James on the arm.

“Doesn’t sound so bad, Jamie. You’d be a fool not to be nervous about that girl. She’s trouble all over in the best way.”

James is very inclined to agree.

“Hey Siri, you being nice to James?” You take your drink gratefully and take a sip.

“I was about to ask you the same thing, trouble.” You shrug with a pretty devious smile on your face- James’ heart rate picks up. “Saw you looking at the setlist, you and Potter planning on dancing?”

You nod, smiling when you look up and find James looking at you with fondness written boldly on his face. He’s easy to read, never one to guard his feelings, James.

“Yeah, they’re finally doing Fake I.D again so I figured I’d take James’ virginity in that regard.”

James, bless him, doesn’t sputter, which he’s eternally grateful for. Sirius shares a wicked grin just like yours.

“Don’t make it too vulgar, Remus’ll run you off the dance floor.”

You put your hands up, “I make no promises.”

James is saved from any more teasing from either of you when the song starts playing.

“C’mon Jamie, it’s starting.” He lets you pull him after he downs the last of his drink.

“What if I mess it up?” He whispers as you tug him along. Your hair whips at his chest as you turn to look back at him and he can smell your vanilla shampoo and shuts his eyes for a brief moment.

“You won’t, just follow my lead. You’ll be perfect.”

It takes him a couple steps to get into the song, but seeing you smiling and giggling makes James fall deeper into the music.

The floor rumbles with everyone’s steps, but all you can think about is James behind you as you dance in a circle.

“James!” you squeal when you feel his hands hold onto your hips, James smiling wide as you lean into him a little.

As the guitar solo riff continues you know you have to stay close to James for this part. It isn’t hard because it seems like you’ve both magnetized to each other more than before. As the beat drops, you feel like time has slowed, the words filter into your ears all muffled and soft as you pull James close by his shirt, your chests pressed together. “Hey mister, won’t you sell me a fake i.d.”

You see his breath hitch more than you feel it. You’re both grinding on each other on the dance floor, and it’s way more erotic than anything else either of you could’ve been doing.

“Fuck,” you feel the whisper as James’ hand cements itself to your hip and one of yours buries in his hair.

You tip his hat onto your own head and you swear James’ chest rumbles. “Angel.”

You’re breathless as you and James dance, you feel like you’re the only people on the dance floor.

He dips you backward and you bite back a moan when one of his hands travels up your back to keep his hat on your head. As he picks you up, his fingers knot in your hair and your lips just barely meet.

“James.” You breathe his name and he groans.

“You really are trouble.” his lips meet yours, tentatively at first, and then his mouth consumes yours the moment you kiss him back.

You pull apart and smile, “Took you long enough, James.”

He shakes his head, his dimple poking out as he chases your lips. “You look so good in my hat.”

His stare turns you a little shy and you duck to hide your face in his chest; James laughs at the action.

“Come outta there, sweetheart. Can’t hide those eyes from me now.”

You groan, but look up at him. “Have you always been this smooth?”

James nods, tipping your chin up just a bit higher to kiss your lips again. “Just for you,” you beam at that. “My heart’s thumping.”

“Mine too,” You kiss his jaw, teeth scraping a second path. “Wanna get out of here?”

James slips his hand in your back pocket eliciting a keen he wants to hear more of. “Get your cute butt in my truck, angel.”

You giggle as James squeezes before releasing you, holding your hand with his hat sitting proudly on your head as you stomp your feet out of the bar to his truck. He really does love those hot pink boots.

[apalapucian]

1:31 AM

they moved the bed by the window two weeks ago, for something to do, for harry to watch the birds from. for them to feel closer to the world as much as the house can afford them.

james used to put two-way soundproofing charms in his room, on the curtains around his four-poster. he needed the quiet to sleep, and he needed sleep to win the quidditch match the next day. lily used to put the wireless on to drown out the world, the more mellow weird sisters b-sides echoing in the background of her dreams.

now, they welcome the clatter. they eavesdrop on their neighbors, revel in them singing and fighting and discussing, live in the pauses of their lives, in their leaving the door and coming back home and settling back in. tonight, crickets chirp and an owl hoots close by, and lily closes her eyes in content, ventures back out to the world through these sounds. sinks further into james's embrace. her head on his chest and their hands laced together. new moon tonight, but the street light permeates the room through the window. half of james's arm is bright orange.

his gryffindor hoodie is old and soft and familiar. he is warm. he is home.

"the cat learned how to knead," she tells him, eyes still closed.

james shifts. "huh?"

"the cat made biscuits today. on the couch."

"out of nowhere? are you sure?" he asks, in awe and disbelief. "it's been two years!"

"i know."

"and we researched."

a lifetime ago: going to a muggle library in muggle clothes, lily finding him so fucking cute in that environment and feeling the need to kiss him every two seconds. but also reading there that cats who get taken too early from their mothers don't learn how to knead. that some cats just don't do it. they were worried about the cat (that's just the cat's name, sirius named him) not ever doing it, but it turned out it's normal. but today —

"i had the same reaction," she says. "he seemed hesitant at first, so i thought he was just scratching it again, but it was actual kneading! he did it, like, a good five minutes."

"did you watch the entire time?"

she chuckles. "i burned my lunch, yeah."

"i can't believe i missed that."

"i can burn it again tomorrow."

he reaches up to pinch her nose. "the cat."

"you needed to see sirius."

quieter: "i did, yeah." it was driving him crazy. the house, not being able to fight. she could tell. besides, she felt it, too.

"he'll do it again," she reassures him. "he did it quite a few times after that, before you came home."

"why do you think is he only doing it now? he has no one to learn from here."

"i don't know. maybe it took him two years to feel comfortable with us?"

"oh my god, he likes godric's hollow? he likes it so much he literally summoned his ancestral abilities?"

well, at least one of us likes it here, she thinks, but doesn't say. she laughs — he does, too — and then they go quiet, and she knows he's thinking the same. knows he also chooses not to say it.

"what did you have for lunch?" he remembers to ask, and it's when he does this, asks these mundane questions about her in a way that makes it seem like it's the most important, most interesting things in the world, that she feels the biggest about him. that she feels a sudden surge of optimism, like she's bigger than the prophecy, than the war.

she says, reeling from the intensity of it, trying to stay in the pace of the conversation, "bacon." she feels like laughing at the whiplash. sometimes she legitimately thinks she's going crazy. "and, um. the last of the sourdough from remus."

"we should ask him for some more. that was really good."

"agreed."

"you okay?" of course he notices.

"yeah. sorry. i'm just — feeling it again."

"the house?" which is to mean everything that comes with it. the dread. the frustration. the hopelessness and uncertainty and unfairness of it all.

"yeah."

he holds her tighter, presses a kiss on the top of her head. "it's not always going to be this way, lil." he's said it so many times. to his credit, the conviction has held up. james is home. james is home.

"i know," she says, even though she doesn't. not really. "i know."

"i'm sorry it's the way it is right now though."

"you're in it, too."

"i know. i'm sorry still."

"hey."

"hm?"

"i love you. you have no idea how much."

he reaches up a second time to tip her face up and kiss her.

in another universe they don't need the neighbors to fight and the crickets to fucking chirp just to feel sane. in another universe the night can be dead still and it is fine. they kiss in the silence and it is fine. he goes out to meet his best friend and lily doesn't need the cat to distract her from being a hair away from a panic attack the entire time he's away, almost crippled with worry, her thoughts spiraling into images of unseeing hazel eyes and broken spectacles. in another universe she loves him and he loves her back and they make out in his old school hoodie as husband and wife, as parents, and that is all there is to it.

"i love you, too," he says, "and i'll live my entire life trying to show you how much."

she chuckles a bit. "geez. it's not a competition."

he laughs, the sound reverberating through his chest, literally felt on her skin. "if it was, i'll win. you'll see."

she will, unfortunately.

but for now there's this, home in her palm and the entire world through the window, her heart soaring and breaking at the same time.

//

[read/subscribe on ao3]

[thehypnone]

Symbol on the Surface Chapter 19

WC: 1,9k

Relationship: SwissAlps

Tags: Transmasc Swiss, Fluff, Fluff, and even more Fluff, Tooth Rotting Levels of Fluff, Baby Fever Warning :3

“We’re not in the Pit. They won’t have to grow up scared and alone in survival mode, but instead here, with us. Surrounded by love.”

Notes: Tysm to @jimothybarnes for being the best beta ever!

Chapter 1 here or on AO3.

Read chapter 19 under the cut or on AO3.

Swiss wakes up to movement on his chest.

It seems like it’s the middle of the night; he grumbles and opens his eyes to look down blearily and he nearly jumps out of his own skin.

Right. He’s given birth yesterday—the pain between his legs only confirms the conclusion, as if three kits cuddled up together right on top of him aren’t enough proof.

“Woah,” Swiss mutters to himself in complete disbelief.

Beside him, Mountain is asleep and so are two of their kits. The third one is awake and the multi ghoul suddenly realises that she’s staring at him with her bright gold eyes—just like his own. He didn’t even know kits opened their eyes right away upon birth.

“Hello there,” he rumbles quietly with a grin as he extends a finger towards the kit to rub her tummy. She lets out a little content noise at that, making Swiss giggle. “You’re so tiny, aren’t you?”

The multi ghoul, of course, doesn’t get a response, but he’s more than pleased anyway. He’s been worried about the kit since he’s found out one of them is significantly smaller than the rest, but now—not even twenty four hours since she’s been born—the tiny ghoulette is proving to make up for size with character.

She tries to grab onto Swiss’ finger, but it appears to be too big for only one of her hands, so she struggles some before using both to wrap around it. Swiss purrs gently as she settles and they both fall back asleep after a moment.

The next thing he knows it’s the morning and Mountain’s sitting up by his side staring at the kits.

“Nghnghn–ow,” Swiss groans when he comes to again.

“You okay?” the earth ghoul asks instinctively, but then catches himself. “Dumb question.”

“Just a little,” his mate giggles sleepily, “I’m good but three demons crawled out of my pussy yesterday, so.”

“They’re such adorable demons, though!” Mountain coos. “You can’t hold that against them.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Swiss sighs with a smile, moving to rub the biggest kit’s fluffy back with two fingers. He twitches a little at that, making his dads’ smiles grow.

Now with the kits clean and in the light, Swiss and Mountain can finally take a proper look at their creations. They’re all fuzzy with fur that is going to go away in the next couple weeks as their bodies adapt to the temperature outside of Swiss’ womb, and because of that not many of their features can be seen just yet.

The things that do stand out, and are making the parents completely enamored, are the kits’ eyes, horns and tails. All the horns are only tiny nubs on the kits’ heads and the tails barely the length of Mountain’s pinky finger—absolutely adorable.

The eyes, though?

Three pairs of beautiful glowing eyes. The biggest kit’s eyes are the exact bright shade of green as Mountain’s, the tiny girl’s are gold like Swiss’—with small purple swirls of her quintessence already showing—and the middle one’s are a gorgeous shade of royal blue.

“I love them so much,” Mountain murmurs with a smile that’s been on his face for quite a while now. They’re all resting; the earth ghoul staring at his children in adoration as they sleep on Swiss’ chest.

“They’re not feeding now,” he notes, looking between the kits and his mate, “I think you should hold them, Omega said skin-to-skin and scenting with both of us is important. Besides, they’re as much your kits as mine.”

“I didn’t carry them inside me for seven months,” Mountain chuckles, but gives it up upon Swiss rolling his eyes. “Let’s see if they even like me.”

Somehow Swiss rolls his eyes even harder.

The earth ghoul expects his mate to pick the babies up and hand them over, but he makes no move to do so, so Mountain takes it as his cue. He’s as gentle as possible when he grabs the first kit and brings her against his own bare chest, then the others. Swiss turns on his side and rests his head on the earth ghoul’s shoulder to still be as close as possible to them.

The babies seem to be hardwired to come close together wherever they are—even asleep. It’s sickeningly adorable; watching three sleeping kits mewl quietly and wiggle in close to each other.

“I can–” Mountain giggles in amazement and disbelief, “I can feel their tiny heartbeats.”

He could cry; and he just might. Ever since the incident with Aeon he’s been terrified of himself, of his strength and size, of hurting more of his pack, his mate, his kits. Now, these tiny creatures are sleeping on his chest safe, right next to a heart that’s basically beating for them.

He sniffles, “They’re so small, how–how the hell did we manage to make them? How can something so small even…exist?” 

Swiss only smiles and nods. He understands what Mountain’s feeling.

The two of them just enjoy watching their kits sleep on Mountain for a while, beaming when one by one their children wake up. At first they’re adorably sleepy, mewling and squeaking, but then they start to move and…sniff around.

 “Why are they so sniffy?” Mountain asks, as if Swiss knows more about ghoul kits than he does.

“I think that’s how they’re scenting,” the multi ghoul says, but it’s more a question than a statement.

“No, I think they’d be–”

“Ah.”

“Rubbing against our necks,” Mountain finishes as the kits are now doing exactly that.

“Yup,” Swiss giggles as the middle kit wriggles up against his very chin. She seems to be appreciating the scratch of his stubble on the top of her head. “It tickles!”

“Try purring,” the earth ghoul suggests as he kicks up a purr on his own, his mate following. The kits keep on rubbing against both their necks, where the scent glands are, but then– “Are they…?” 

“Yes!” Swiss exclaims—but not too loudly—as the kits join in with their own tiny purrs; first purrs of their lives. “I’m gonna cry, this is too cute.”

After a moment, something crosses Mountain’s mind. “I just realized…” 

“Hm?”

“We’re not in the Pit. They won’t have to grow up scared and alone in survival mode,” he explains, “but instead here, with us and the pack. Surrounded by love.”

The multi ghoul’s jaw drops a little, and if either of them tears up at that thought—it’s their business.

The next day, Swiss is still not very mobile, of course. He’s in pain and bleeding every time he stands, so it’s not comfortable in the slightest, but thankfully, he doesn’t have to get up much.

Mountain’s the one to do the kits’ nappies—not only because he’s letting Swiss rest, but also because he’s significantly better at that task. He doesn’t mind, although navigating around the tiny ghoul’s wriggly tails is not making it especially easy.

The third day of the kits’ life, Swiss and Mountain decide to attempt dressing them in some of the clothes they’ve gotten for them; both themselves and from their pack. It’s not easy to choose their first ever outfit, but the parents agree on the bunny onesies of Cumulus’ making.

Dressing the biggest kit is easy enough, he’s quite calm. The middle one goes even smoother, it’s as if she even helps. The smallest one, though?

She is fiercely refusing to get dressed for a while and Mountain is struggling. He wins that battle at the end simply because the kit gets tired. And because the onesie is a little too big for her.

Once dressed, Swiss and Mountain coo over them for a good five minutes before they return to the nest. Both dads are on their sides with the kits between them; simply watching them exist.

“I think we should introduce them to the pack today,” the multi ghoul says quietly at some point.

“Yeah?” Mountain raises an eyebrow. “Do you feel ready for that? We can wait, there’s no rush.”

“Yeah, just…just a quick introduction today, I think.”

“Alright. Yeah, that sounds good.”

With the decision made, Mountain texts the group chat and invites everyone for the little meating in half an hour. Everyone is excited and so are Swiss and Mountain, but they do have to psych themselves up for that.

The pack slowly fills the room and quiet gasps, cooing, and squeals of joy sound out as soon as everyone’s eyes land on the babies. Mountain and Swiss smile proudly—even though both their instincts are quite tuned up at everyone getting in their space. They were invited and it’s their family, though, so they’re not actually worried by any means.

“This is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen!” Aurora exclaims, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Thank you, thank you,” Swiss chuckles with pride.

Mountain grins next to him. “We’ve made them ourselves.”

“Can we finally learn the names?” Aeon asks as he cocks his head to the side like a curious puppy. The earth ghoul smirks.

“This tiny thing,” he starts as he lifts up the smallest of their kits, “is Arya.”

“This princess is Aelin,” Swiss nods towards the kit currently curled up in his arms and asleep.

“And this little guy’s name,” Mountain presents the last one—his mini-me, “is Amon.”

“That’s so beautiful!” Aurora squeals.

“You guys really went all in with the meanings, letters, elements, and everything?” Cirrus laughs, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Could you…eh, explain? I'm not too familiar with ghoulish,” Copia asks; a little awkwardly.

“Aelin is a water ghoulette and the word means lake in ghoulish.” Swiss starts explaining indeed. “Amon is earth and it means hill, so basically–”

“Little mountain!” Rain supplies.

“Oh my god, are you kidding me, that’s so awfully cute. He really is a little you!” Cumulus cheers, turning to Mountain holding Amon.

“What about that wriggly little creature?” Dewdrop points to Arya.

“Arya is a character from Game of Thrones, a very feisty one, just like this little girl. She’s fire and quintessence,” it’s the earth ghoul’s turn to explain. “The word arya also means day and I just thought it fits the elements.”

“How did you settle on who names two of them and who does one?” Aeon asks.

“Rock paper scissors,” he shrugs, making everyone chuckle.

“We’re so proud of you guys,” Sunshine coos, nearly heart-eyed.

“Thank you,” Swiss and Mountain say in unison, with soft smiles on their faces. They are quite proud of themselves, too.

“Alright everyone, we should go now,” Aether decides soon enough, taking the burden of having to kick them out off of the two dads.

“Let me know if you figure out how you two managed to make them,” Rain teases as they filter out, winking at Mountain, “Might wanna put one or two in Dew.”

The fire ghoul chokes on his spit as everyone else bursts out laughing. The kits do not mind in the slightest; they’re completely unbothered.

Yes, they are going to fit right into this crazy pack.

Taglist: @arkeusruin @skele-bunny @everybodyshusband @ratsummer @jazz-bazz @mac-and-thefox @karmicbias @wine-irytatus @ghoultrifle (if anyone from here wants to be removed lmk, and also if anyone else wants to be added)

[larryisinlove]

I completely agree with this post by @apparentlybychance and what I write below is from my perspective. My understanding comes from the perspective of someone who studied marketing since 2019, is a community manager and currently works in a marketing agency. 

You are not compelled to take everything I say as the real and only way to look at it, this is my opinion and I respect others as well.

It's clear that Louis needs a new marketing team, as the current one doesn't seem to be doing its job properly or, worse, doesn't even seem to understand what they're doing. Their attempts to divert attention to topics such as his "fatherhood" or sexuality are way too obvious, while his music is poorly promoted. Many fans try to fill that gap by promoting his music organically, but it doesn't have much impact as we are not an enormous fandom and it's not our responsibility either. Moreover, the fan base shrinks with every failed "strategy", which generates disinterest, anger and abandonment of the fandom. This is also reflected in the organisation and promotion of their shows and music releases. 

The worrying thing is that this mismanagement is not new; it has been going on since the beginning of his solo career. Some justify this by saying that Louis prefers to be an underground/indie artist and be left alone with the usual fans, but that makes no sense, that's just a justification for the bad actions of his team. No artist seeks to stagnate or limit his growth. To advocate without questioning every decision of an artist's background doesn't mean being a "bad fan", and it is important to understand that questioning the strategy is not attacking the artist. 

It is frustrating to see that many fans believe that Louis doesn't really want to grow as an artist, which, again, makes no sense. The problem is the lack of planning and analysis on the part of his team, who act without foreseeing the long-term consequences. I don't understand this image they want to give him, because as a fan for years, this is not the Louis I grew up with. Maybe he's trying to distance himself from One Direction and avoid the mainstream stuff, which is admirable, but this kinda rude and distant image doesn't seem to align with his original (and real) essence. 

Those of us who work in marketing and communication have a different, more analytical and technical vision, which allows us to detect patterns and strategies (or the lack of them). This is not a justification to invalidate other opinions in any way, but to offer an informed perspective. With Louis, it is clear that there is no clear strategy. His team seems to improvise, as if every decision is made without a long-term plan, simply reacting in the moment.

The resurgence of the babygate stuff a few days ago is another example of this lack of planning. From the outset it seems to have been an idea launched without considering the consequences and, now that it has grown out of control, they don't know how to handle it or shut it down for good. This only creates more chaos as the years go by. The exposure of the child has been contradictory from the beginning: How can you justify wanting to protect his privacy when he was initially exposed so much by his whole family, from pregnancy onwards, and then included in the documentary "All of These Voices"? Nothing has any coherence if you analyse it at all.

As for the blocking on Twitter, it is hard to believe that Louis has blocked so many accounts without it being known beforehand. It's an absurd and ineffective tactic to manage the narrative of his public image. I agree with the post that "Louis and his team are no different. They like to use subtle tactics like blocking, following, unfollowing or general interactions on their social accounts (mainly X) to manage the narrative of their public image" as this is part of a strategy that has been carried over from One Direction, like when he tweeted "I am in fact straight" or "Larry is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard".

Or Another example we can name is this 2012 interaction with Rebecca Ferguson, where she expresses the overexploitation she was receiving and "Louis" replies "Success is impossible without proper hard work". That contradictory image does not fit with the Louis that many of us fans have known and followed for years. Why would an artist seek to lose fans and, therefore, limit his growth?

Over time, all this has made their actions feel fake and automated. As a fan, one ends up questioning and analysing every action from another perspective, as nothing seems genuine or truthful. His "Hope everyone is doing alright" tweets seem scripted and even programmed, lacking that closeness that used to exist. While we know that artists' social media accounts are controlled, the fan/artist connection remains crucial to maintaining public support and loyalty. When repetitive patterns and bad strategies accumulate, the authenticity of the artist is lost, turning him into a kind of "robot" with no control over his actions, which can end up damaging his image and damaging the relationship with his fans, often without him being fully aware of it. 

From a music marketing perspective, there are several key aspects that Louis' team seems to ignore. An effective marketing team should focus on  research and investigation of the audience, clearly identifying the artist's target audience, considering factors such as age, interests and content consumption platforms. The lack of consistent branding is evident, as Louis' public image doesn't appear to align with his musical and personal essence, leading to confusion.

A well-planned release strategy should include a pre-launch campaign with teasers, interviews and strategic collaborations, something that seems to be absent in most of his projects. In addition, multi-channel promotion is essential, using social media, interviews, streaming playlists and specialised press, without relying exclusively on fandom. A competent team should also focus on authentic storytelling, creating an emotional and genuine narrative to connect with the audience, rather than resorting to polemical tactics that distort his image.

Fan growth and retention is another key aspect. Good marketing seeks to expand the fan base while maintaining the interest of the current, as opposed to what appears to be happening. Finally, long-term planning is essential, with measurable goals and clear direction, rather than reactive and inconsistent decisions.

In conclusion, Louis' team is not managing his career professionally or effectively. Successful marketing requires planning, analysis and authenticity. His fans deserve a clear and respectful narrative, and he deserves a team that will really promote his music and his career. I hope that for LT3 we have a good promotion, that his team starts to get things right because I don't want his career to continue to suffer consequences from this, besides from his image to be ruined by the mismanagement of those working with him.

[unhappy-sometimes]

a 2024 writing retrospective (for sxf fanfic)

ignore the fact that i’m a few days late. i’ve been unbelievably busy the past couple weeks.

in this post i’ll go over the fics i wrote in 2024 think of it as an extremely extended author’s notes. i love to talk and will do so when given the chance.

i’ll start from my latest fic and work my way backwards. spoilers for everything i’ve written in 2024.

(Very) Stupid

Something that I try really really hard to maintain in my writing is believability, specifically when it comes to writing characters. Characters acting out of character is one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves: if I wanted to read about someone’s oc, then I would’ve read a regular book. That being said, I think a lot about how Twilight would actually act like if he were in love. I had an interesting conversation with @cantareincminor forever ago about how he’s so emotionally constipated that it’s kind of difficult to write Twilight in love without making him a bit ooc. Right now in canon it’s hard to imagine him falling head over heels for anyone (in my opinion, anyway).

That being said there are moments in canon where he acts flustered in situations that could be interpreted as romantic. So, for right now, my hypothesis is this: if and when Twilight falls in love, he’s going to be an absolute fool. He’s going to do his usual overthinking and overanalyizing, so much to the point that he starts hesitating over the smallest things.

(Very) Stupid is how I imagine all of that unfolding, although for the sake of comedy I did push things to the absurd. Sometimes Twilight does things in canon with such certainty of “Yes, of course normal people do this, I’m nailing this normalcy thing” that he fails to realize he’s being kinda ridiculous. I also wanted to take that element and incorporate it into a fic.

I also wanted to try subverting expectations (ooh fancy literary term) by having them do romantic things that lead them nowhere. I tried to cram in as many tropes as I could—feeding each other with a fork, only one bed, first kiss—but do so under the guise of Twilight completely missing how dumb he’s being the entire time. He only realizes his feelings until after their first kiss, specifically when Yor surprises him with a quick peck on the cheek. This, of course, was deliberate. I figured that it’d make the most sense if Twilight would only realize his feelings in a situation where he wasn’t the one initiating a (somewhat) romantic gesture because he theoretically wouldn’t be overthinking it. Instead, Yor just sneaks in when his guard is down <3

Endings are usually the hardest things for me to write and (Very) Stupid was no exception. I almost had Twilight pass out at the breakfast table when he kisses Yor but then I realized I’d made him faint in almost every fic I’ve written this year and that felt like a cop out. But I figured it out and I don’t mind the way the ending turned out :D

Also, kind of a random reference, but the title is slightly inspired by VERY NICE by Seventeen lol

Holy crap I’ve written so much for only one fic so far. My apologies in advance.

21 Eden Street

I won’t go into too much detail for 21 Eden Street because it’s still ongoing, but I just wanna brag about how fun it is to write hehe. It’s really enjoyable to write pure crack and come up with stupid and insane ideas with Cantare. You don’t need to have seen either iteration of 21 Jump Street to understand what’s going on. Honestly, we’ve taken very little from the source material and treated it more like a loose guide and a basis for brainstorming.

Don’t worry, we haven’t abandoned it! Cantare is waiting on me to finish writing my chapter (hehe sorry, Cantare!) and soon it’ll be back up and running.

Seeing things

Ah, Seeing Things, my beloved <3

This fic has the least amount of hits out of everything I’ve written (which is not surprising to me) but I hold it very dear to my heart. There’s not a specific reason why other than I just really enjoyed writing it. I also spent a ton of time making supplementary drawings and a whole hype campaign for it, too, so I kinda am obligated to feel some sorta way about it.

Anyway, the way this fic came about is simple; I just had the things I am most afraid of happen to Twilight. Yes, I’m scared of serial killers and my loved ones dying like everyone else, but something I am absolutely terrified of are hallucinations. That and doppelgangers.

Not being able to tell reality apart from fiction activates the flight or fight senses in me. Real life can be scary, yes, but reality is bound by the rules of reality. Literally anything can happen in fiction. The most horrific, awful things are possible in fiction and if those things suddenly become possible in reality???? Girl I am GONE. Passing away. Curling up in a fetal position in the nearest corner. I don’t know if that makes any sense. If I ever start seeing things that I can’t be sure are actually happening or not, I am choosing to die right then and there. Doppelgangers as a concept are also really scary to me. It’s like stranger danger but times a thousand because you can’t tell who the strangers are anymore.

In my initial draft, there wasn’t nearly as much of a tension between Twilight and Yor. If I recall correctly, by then I’d written to nearly the end and realized that for Yor this whole experience has been Loid acting just a little more weird than usual. It might’ve been Cantare’s suggestion (just assume everything after Guy’s Night has been beta’d by Cantare and you’ll be mostly right) but I realized that Twilight probably would start to suspect the people around him were screwing with him. I added the scene where his room was messed up and it all fell into place hehe.

I don’t like writing gore or the like because I feel like typical gore quickly starts escalating into levels of pain that the average reader has no possibility of comprehending and it loses its efficacy. Instead I tried feeding into Twilight’s paranoia, adding things that in isolation are just weird but when put together are unsettling. I shamelessly stole the fourth room hallway from Impossible Landscapes, a Delta Green campaign that I highly recommend you check out if you enjoy surreal horror. I purposefully kept some things vague, like the things Anya sees in Twilight’s mind, the way Handler’s face gets warped, or the description of “the watchers” because I felt like going into detail would lose the unknown-ness of it all. That and I’m lazy heehee.

In some way, canon Spy x Family does deal with ideas of doppelgangers and paranoia. Spies are constantly afraid of being listened in on, they don’t know if they can trust anyone, and they always have to keep an eye over their shoulder. For someone who is always a little scared of being spied on (I cover my phone and laptop cameras for that exact reason), that kinda sounds like torture. Seeing Things was a fun way to crank that paranoia up to a hundred. It was especially fun writing the museum scene because I tried thinking of things that are just ever so slightly off, things that theoretically could exist but clearly don’t.

I also threw in other things I’m scared of, like being watched, being followed, the dark, and the bathroom at night just to be extra mean to Twilight <3

Anyway, I’m rambling and this analysis post will be a novel if I keep this up.

Guy’s Night

I do recognize the insane tone shift going from Seeing Things to Guy’s Night.

What is there to even say about Guy’s Night? I got the idea from Psych (the Last Night Gus episode) who got the general basic from the Hangover movies. I wrote it all out in a few days, one of which I was sick in bed. I don’t know what to say.

Looking back on it, I don’t love the way it turned out. I’m glad I wrote it but where I usually don’t mind rereading my stuff for fun I do kinda cringe at Guy’s Night. It relies on a lot of contrivances which I tried masking with humor but it’s still a bit obvious. If you make a timeline of the previous night’s events, it only kinda makes sense.

It doesn’t help that I went into it with no plan whatsoever. I just sat down and said what happens happens. When I wrote in chapter one that something had happened between Loid and Yor, I didn’t know what that was. When I wrote Loid saying “we need to see what’s on that camera film” I was right there next to him saying “buddy, so do I because I have no idea.” When wrote Franky saying that his friend Marko might have answers, I was hoping he would too because I, like everyone else, didn’t know what was going on either.

The ONE thing I DID know was that Twilight got a tattoo the night before. That was it. That’s all.

I don’t typically plan out everything when I write but I usually have a good idea. For Guy’s Night, I had a bad idea in that I had no idea. It kinda shows. Sorry.

That being said, it was incredibly fun writing their drunk shenanigans and banter. The dynamic between Twilight, Franky, and Yuri was so goofy that I’ve seriously debated writing a sequel of sorts. However that’s incredibly unlikely. If I ever do write a sequel, it’d be a Girl’s Night with Yor and a combination of female characters, probably Sylvia and Fiona.

After Peace (and Glimpses of Happiness)

A quick heads up: I don’t go into detail but I do discuss mental illness in this segment.

I am incredibly proud of how After Peace turned out. Not only did it receive a really good reception for being my first fic ever, but it also helped me work through some things in my own life. It’s important to give some context.

I wrote After Peace shortly after graduating college. I won’t go into specifics, but college was really, really difficult for me. I had been so excited for this next step in my life after graduating high school but instead it turned out to be one of the hardest experiences of my life. Depression came out of nowhere and stomped me into the ground.

I used to have very high expectations for myself; I had a clear vision of what I wanted to do with my life and I was taking steps to work towards those goals. Then my mental health tanked and suddenly everything just felt so difficult and pointless. I’d sleep all day and then hate myself when the sun started to set because that meant I’d wasted an entire day doing nothing when I was supposed to be working towards something. But I just couldn’t do it anymore.

That’s something I’ve noticed that a lot of media gets wrong about depression sometimes. It doesn’t always make you feel sad. Sometimes it just sucks everything out of you—sadness, happiness, anger, everything. I stopped drawing, stopped listening to music, stopped eating, stopped exercising, stopped doing everything that I enjoyed because it felt like the equivalent of doing the dishes. Everything was a chore, even the things that I liked.

What really changed things around was when my poor roommate, who was sick of me sleeping for twenty hours a day, dragged my sorry self to the free counseling services on campus. It’s doesn’t fix everything, but having someone who cares about you and you care about can really help your mental health.

Anyway, let’s not forget I’m talking about an anime fanfiction here haha.

After Peace really did start out as a couple of doodles but as I started to write it, I noticed that there were a lot of similarities between myself and Loid. No, I am not a former spy turned grumpy hermit, but I did once have great aspirations and now have to settle for what reality offers me. Realizing that worth comes from simply existing was something that I had to understand in order to begin my recovery process.

I’ve always found it kind of sad that if you took away the goal of world peace from Twilight that you’re basically left with nothing. He doesn’t really have hobbies, no real friends, and he never takes a day off. That’s hardly sustainable. Would he really be happy when there’s nothing left to do? I’d like to think so, but I wanted to see what would happen if he wasn’t.

I mentioned this in the end note, but After Peace was also influenced by this comic I was working on years ago that had the similar premise of “grumpy man learns to enjoy life with the help of a young girl” (very original, I know). I doubt that I’ll ever release that comic in the capacity I once intended, but it does live on in my secret second tumblr account of you ever manage to find it.

Anyway, I was worried about writing After Piece because Anya plays a big role and I am Not Good at writing children. It was hard striking a balance between making Anya likeable but still realistic. I don’t interact with children often and, as a youngest sibling, I don’t have much experience with them. Anya has so many layers—being a test subject, being a telepath, being a child—that it was hard managing them all. But I’m okay with how she turned out.

There is a slight problem in that she basically disappears once Yor shows up D:

I debated having Yor in the fic at all but then I realized that without her the emotional climax would have to rely on a four year old’s emotional intelligence and then decided right then and there that Yor had to be in it haha.

Yor’s whole deal with accidentally killing the wrong person was kind of a last minute addition. I do wish I was able to explore that more, but I also feel like she’s emotionally mature enough to forgive herself more quickly than Twilight would. She ends up serving a bit of a role model to him. It was also nice to be able to write them interacting with the truth out on the table and for them to be honest with each other.

Pacing was something that I was very concerned with. Looking back on it now, I’m still worried that things move along a bit quickly. However, I am reminded of some advice my graphic design professors gave me: “Good design is when nothing more can be take away.” And, because I was writing this as fast as possible, you best believe I was taking things away if I didn’t need them. I didn’t want to fall into the trap of dwelling on Twilight’s thoughts for too long so I instead opted for showing him progressing through experiences instead. I think it worked out.

However because I took so many things out I decided to start Glimpses of Happiness, a supplementary fic to After Peace that fills in the cracks, so to speak. I wanted to have more moments between Twilight and the other characters, like stargazing with Anya and growing close to Yor. Right now there’s only one chapter, but I have plans for at least a few more. I also thought it was important to highlight that mental health recovery never truly ends. Just because Yor and Twilight had a nice chat on the roof doesn’t mean that things are suddenly okay. It’s a long process that sometimes never ends and I wanted to show that.

Of course, I can’t talk about After Peace without addressing the Midwest allegations. As I said, yes, this fic was inspired by my childhood in the American Midwest, even though I was nowhere near any mountains. The Midwest is a silly place full of nothing to do but go to your local Walmart for fun, but I think it served a good enough setting for Twilight to chill out and slow down. If I really wanted to do full Midwest, I’d have Twilight watch a tornado touch down on a cornfield from his truckbed, but that feels sort of out of place.

I feel like there’s more to say but I can’t think of anything and I doubt anyone’s actually gonna read all the way down here anyway. But yeah, that’s After Peace.

Oh, and the A.M. AM by Damien Jurado Youtube video currently has nine comments that mentjon falling from a five story building, which I think is really funny.

So now what?

Against my better judgement, I’m still writing. I have a couple projects in the works, especially one big big big one that hopefully I can start publishing soon. Keep an eye out for that.

In the meantime, thanks for a great year! I hope 2025 holds more great things in store for us all!

-unso ^. .^<

[cry4mina]

DYWTYLM? - Part 8

Take Me Back to Eden - Mina x Fem!reader

Word count: 8k

Angst/Fluff

Summary: Reader cooperates with authorities to trap Nayeon so they can lock her away for good but nayeon has other plans. Mina shows up for you in ways you never thought possible, solidifying your relationship and giving you reinforcement for the idea you already had.

TW: mentions of food, abusive partners, Nayeon is actually insane…death, knives, blood, suggestive moments, angst angst angst.

A/N: I was dragging my feet bc like only one more part after this and it’s basically an epilogue 😭 i fr love this series so much and I know I talk about it constantly but it’s just bc I’m just so proud of it. Thank you for taking the time to read it and I hope you all have a lovely day🖤🖤

A deep breath before entering the familiar building you used to call home, you look back to make sure the police are in their positions in the unmarked cars they drove over in to not tip off Nayeon.

A quick thumbs up to them before shifting your attention over to Mina who is in the passenger seat of your car. Parked in its usual spot, you can see her fidgeting and bitting her nails…she’s just as fearful as you are.

The worry in her eyes was very clear, even from a distance. Distraught over this plan you had concocted with the law enforcement to trap Nayeon and arrest her.

It won’t stop if you don’t stop it.

You are who she want and the sense of responsibility that you feel to protect those you care about is strong. Mina already got caught in the crosshairs…you couldn’t bare it if someone else was hurt by her.

Nayeon waiting for you in the apartment that held all the memories, good, bad, ugly, and even worse - the ones that weren’t yours too. All the energy that was trapped in that space, if the walls could talk, they would scream bloody murder.

9:45pm is when the cops were going to move in on the apartment, you just needed to keep her distracted while they moved into the building…you could do that. Looking down at your phone to check the time, it was 9:29pm already. Distracting her for 15 minutes didn’t seem like too big of a task but the fear of the unknown looms over your head.

What would she do or say while you were in front of her?

Another deep breath, you silently enter the building and make your way to the elevator.

It takes forever to get to your floor, the slow pull of gravity adds to your anxiety as the numbers go up,

1.

2.

3.

Until finally you’re on the floor where this began…and where it was about to end.

Flashes of everything that had happen haze over your mind’s eye, showing memory after memory of what had taken place over the last month.

The note.

The text messages.

The rock through the window.

The banquet.

The hospital.

Everything she had put you through, now about to come to a head as you sulk down the hallway and to the wood that separated you from whatever would happen next.

The front door is intimidating, feeling the same rush of emotions as the first time you came back to this place after you found out about Nayeon cheating on you…but in no way did you think it would turn into this…nightmare.

It was a full blown terror now, seeing who she truly was, her true colors…it was all still so disorienting, even with the time apart. Having a hard time believing this is who she was even though you saw it for yourself.

You watched as she tried to take away your happiness for her own gain, you watched as she selfishly almost murdered not only you, but Mina…and what she did to Jihyo and the people she supposedly loved…all of you put in harms way.

A violent narcissistic temper tantrum was all it was and at the cost of all her relationships.

Taking another deep breath, wincing at the broken and bruised ribs, you take your second to calm down. Needing to keep her here and calm was the biggest thing so the police could do their job.

It’s hard to remain neutral when all you want to do is lash out at her, tell her that she will never be anything to you anymore but you know she’s not going to listen…she hasn’t listened the last few times you’ve said it, you suspect she would only be worse this time.

Wrapping your hand around the knob, you open the door- the creak of the hinges only adds to the tension already built up in your body.

Stepping inside, Nayeon is waiting for you by the counter, smiling and giddy, bouncing in her place with little happy movements- the exact opposite of that you were feeling.

“Welcome home, baby!” Walking towards you with her arms spread to hug you.

Flinching at the action, you take a step back and lift your hands to shield yourself from whatever she might do.

Nayeon stops in her tracks, sniffling and pursing her lips. Her brows furrow harshly, smacking her lips and going back over to the counter where she was when you walked in.

“Are you scared of me, baby?” The pain and sorrow reflected in her question rings through your bones, a dull ache that made its way down your body.

“You know the only reason I’m here is because you threatened Momo and Dahyun…and don’t call me baby.” anger filled words with the sharpest inflection, spewing venom towards the snake.

Nayeon lets out one chuckle, it’s evil in nature and aggressive.

“I figured that was the only way to get you here…Sorry about your little girlfriend. I know you’re probably mad at me for that, but you’ll forgive me in time. You will see that you and I are meant for each other.” wincing as she walks over to the couch, a predator who didn’t feel threatened finding a place to perch.

Nayeon plops into her usual spot and pats the seat next to her, looking you in the eyes to see if they have softened for her the way they used to.

Crossing your arms, the rage swells into fury.

“How dare you?…How can you possibly think that I would ever come back to you after everything you’ve done?!” Voice raising at every syllable.

“You cheated on me, stalked me, threatened to harm people I care about, you pointed a fucking gun at my face, you shot Mina, trashed my apartment, and you think that I’m going to what…just crawl back to you, Nayeon?! You’re fucking delusional!” Screaming at her, releasing every ounce of hatred you had.

A laugh that echoed the sound of pure hell added fuel to the fire the moment it left her lips. Nayeon stood up and walked over to the counter again.

“You don’t have a choice, baby! You loved me once…and you can love me again. Either you stay here with me…” unsheathing a large kitchen knife from the butcher block on the counter.

“Or you lose everyone you love and not just M-Mina…” Nayeon chokes on her name, a single tear falls from her eye.

The admission of her intent to kill only swells your rage more, the fire in your veins fueling every poison laced sentence you spit in her direction.

“Don’t you dare say her fucking name, Nayeon! You don’t get to play sad for the things YOU did…I’m not agreeing to anything you want, Nayeon. Not now, not ever.” Clenching your jaw while trying to wait out the clock but you’re getting more restless by the second.

Nayeon slides a piece of paper over to you, knife still in hand - a silent threat.

It’s a marriage certificate with her name and yours written on it.

“You sign this…” clicking a pen open and placing it next to the contract.

“Or I will take everything and everyone you love away from you…it’s your choice.”

The calmness she has about her is an eerie cockiness, batting her big brown eyes at you like it would make a difference.

Emotional whiplash, the bounce between insanity and the Nayeon you fell in love with makes your chest hurt.

You’re disgusted by her, her true colors are showing in a way that paints her in the worst light and her soft attempts to show you that the gentle part of her still exists.

Looking over at the clock, the time reads 9:40pm…only 5 more minutes. You just needed to keep her here for only 5 more minutes.

Picking up the paper and scanning it over, you look up at her to see the ring you purchased sitting on her finger…The pear shaped diamond in the middle with little diamonds laid into a rose gold band.

The one you bought planning to propose… the one you showed her after you found out about Jihyo…your face twists in disgust.

Pinching the paper at the top, you are sure to look right in her eyes and you rip it right down the center, tossing it mindlessly to the floor.

“Hear me when I say this, Nayeon…I will never marry you. In fact, the most peace I have ever felt was when Jihyo told me she shot you and that you were dead. For that day, I was completely and totally fine. You have terrorized me long enough.” Voice getting shaky as the fear clings to you, chest tightening with each word.

“Look at the lengths you’ve gone…look at how much worse it actually is. You’ve hurt more than just me in this, you’ve hurt Mina, Jihyo, and every other member as well…”

“Had you actually been the person you showed me you were, we could’ve had it all…but you aren’t and you never were…you never will be that and I do not want anything to do with you.” Hearing the words leave your mouth was healing in a way, something you had said to her previously, but she failed to understand.

“I already took her from you. Mina is gone, Y/n. So who do you have now? You need me!” Watching as she gripped the knife like she was trying to strangle it teeth clenched and muscles flexing and her own anger boils over…she’s about to crack.

“SHE STOLE YOU FROM ME SO I TOOK HER FROM YOU! SHE CAN’T HAVE YOU LIKE I’VE HAD YOU!” Slamming her fists down, shaking the counter and everything on it, huffing and breathing heavy while tries to expel the hatred of the one who “stole” you.

Nayeon winces at her own wounds before cackling manically and taking a step towards you, she pulls the knife up over her head and swings down at you.

Dodging the blade, you push her back against the counter.

The shriek released from her was hard to hear, the physical and emotional pain she was going through…you were there too but in a very different light.

“Nayeon! Stop this!” Backing up towards the door, reaching for the knob.

“Don’t you DARE fucking LEAVE! I ruined my LIFE FOR YOU! FOR US!” Another swing of the knife, her heaving breath filling the room as she continues to slash in your direction.

“I’ve been gone this entire time! You have done nothing but make my life a living hell! Put the fucking knife down!” Managing to maneuver around her swings quickly, expertly avoiding the sharp slashes as they cut through the air.

Fear takes over, terrified at the attempts to harm you again. How could it be so easy for her to just attack you like this? Grappling with the extent she would go to get what she wanted, you can’t understand even now how she would be so willing to harm you.

Managing to gain a little distance from her, you watch as her arm cocks back. Dropping to the floor you hear this whistle of the knife and a loud thud in the wall behind you.

The blade sticks into the wall, wobbling from the sheer force she threw it with.

Clock reading 9:43pm - you just needed to get through 2 more minutes and everything would be fine.

“YOU. ARE. MINE.” Throwing anything she can get her hands on at you.

Coffee pot, pans, silverware, the crystal vase…everything.

Dodging most things being pelted at you, the crystal vase hits your back - shattering and scattering all over the floor, a few shards imbedded in your flesh.

Sucking air between your teeth, you reach down to try and shakily pull the shards you can see out. The sound of the blood covered crystal hitting the floor shocks Nayeon out of this jealous filled rage.

“Oh my god…baby, I’m…I’m so sorry.” Rushing over to you with a towel to try and stop your bleeding.

Flinching on her approach, you take a fearful step away from her.

“Stop! Don’t touch me!” Tears now spilling, you move and the shards you can’t reach dig deeper into your side, torturously shredding you from the inside.

“P-please let me help you…” Nayeon is crying and sulking at her own mess, the craziness behind her eyes is still very present.

“No! I said don’t touch me!” sobbing as the terror sinks deeper.

Nayeon suddenly runs at you, swinging her fists violently. She manages to land a few punched on your face and ribs. The pain erupts from your chest, crying out into the living room where your illusion of happiness died.

Not letting you fall to the ground, she holds you up and drags you to the couch only to throw you down on it.

Straddling you, she wraps her hands around your throat and squeezes. Air being immediately cut off, you fight to get her off you.

“If you won’t be with me, then you won’t fucking be with anyone!” Hissed in your face as her digits tighten around your throat.

Fighting with every ounce of strength you have, you attempt to tell her to get off you but her grip is too tight. Tugging and pulling on her fingers, you grasp at her face and arms trying to just breath.

Vision is fading to black, you can feel the blood in your head trying to find a way out - tasting blood in your mouth…was this really it?

What about Mina? Thought to yourself…what about the life you could build with her. Her face flashes in your minds eye, you need to live for her…you can’t give up just yet.

Allowing your body to go limp, you lay still when you feel Nayeon’s hands retract. She starts bawling her eyes out, laying her head on your chest with her hands over her face.

“What have I done?…what the fuck have I done?!” Feeling her body shake on top of you while she sobbed into you.

Bawling your hand up into a tightly woven fist, you swing, knocking her clean off you and onto the coffee table - causing the glass top to break underneath her.

Trying to stand and catch your breath, there’s a heavy knock at the door.

Nayeon stands up, dripping blood from her back - panicking, eyes darting around to try and find her escape.

“You aren’t getting away this time, Nayeon!” Horsely yelled at her through the knocking.

Her face turns beat read, a fury like you’ve never seen before.

She walks over to the kitchen and pulls the knife out of the wall with a sharp jolt - never letting her eyes leave you.

Taking a step towards you, she hears the rattle of the door again.

“OPEN UP, IM NAYEON! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!” The burly sheriff yells, you hear the battering ram slam into the door - it budges slightly.

Nayeon runs at you, wrapping her arm around your throat to get you in her grasps. She places the blade on your throat and is waiting for the door to break.

The wood explodes out of the frame, a million splinters waiting to be had across the floor as the three police men file in, guns drawn and ready to fire.

The problem being you in the way, she was using you as a human shield.

“DROP THE KNIFE!” The sherif yelled, she did not comply.

“Put your guns down or I’ll slice her throat and let her bleed out.” Calmly, almost gentle in nature. How can she have such a calm demeanor, you can feel her heart beating out of her chest as she tugs you even closer to her, metal still to the skin of your throat.

Panic set into you, the adrenaline was too much and your heart was racing. Feeling the droplets of blood gather through the slices and drip down your side, slithering down your body - you hear a familiar voice breaking the concentration of keeping Nayeon’s knife off your skin.

“Nayeon…put the knife down!” An angelic voice rings from behind the men.

Hearting filling with dread as you break out in a cold sweat. No! Why is she here?! She can’t be in this dangerous situation.

“No!” You shouted past the officers.

“Don’t come in here!” Nayeon tightens her grip again, pulling you to get you to stop fighting her grasp.

Already fighting her way in, Nayeon gasps when she sees Mina slowly making her way into the room, tightening her grip on you and scooting the knife up higher on your throat.

Feeling the blade start to separate your top layer of skin, a single drop of crimson descends your throat, the police see this and take aim at Nayeon.

“Mina…W-what? H-how did you?” Mina simply raises her hand at Nayeon.

“Nayeon, let Y/n go…you know this isn’t what you want.” Her voice is so soft…and sweet…this is an awful time to swoon but you can’t help it.

Willingly putting herself in harms way to try and help you, to get you out of this situation. She steps in front of the officers and tries to defuse this.

“You don’t fucking know what I want, Mina! I wanted you dead and out of the picture but it looks like neither of us are going to get what we want!”

Nayeon’s tight grip of you faulters, you wedge your fingers under hers and push them a few centimeters away from your skin so the knife isn’t in contact with you anymore.

This is enough to distract her from everyone else, pushing against you to bring it closer to your throat to keep her leverage.

The push and pull ensues and no one makes a single move, cops won’t shoot because you’re in front of her, Mina is crying and begging for Nayeon to stop when it dawns on you…

“N-Nayeon! If you love me like you say you do…then put the knife down!” Strained and tired, the please escape you.

Nayeon hesitates, her grip loosens for a moment and you take the opportunity to break free - using her own strength against her and launching her back against the window, causing it to break.

Running to Mina, you wrap your arms around her. Safety with a beautiful face, you fight your sobs in the grips of her.

This wasn’t over yet.

“If you are with her…” Nayeon starts “Then I have nothing to be here for…” slamming the hilt of the knife into the already cracked window - the spill of the glass furthers everyone’s focus on her. There is an echo of the glass hitting the side walk down below.

Whipping around, you see Nayeon sit on the window sill, the cops are shouting and you take a massive step towards her.

“Get off the window! Now!” The men yell, but her focus remains on only you.

“Y/n, I love you…I’m sorry.”

“STOP!” Yelled, tearing your vocal cord with the shear force of the scream.

Everyone freezes, silence fills the room.

“Don’t do this, Nayeon. Please.” Begging through tears, you can feel Minas energy shift.

Taking another step forward, you watch how Nayeon is analyzing you…only one way to save this, only one way to save her…not wanting her to take this route out, you were going to see this through.

“Nayeonnie…please don’t do this…if you love me, you won’t do this…” reaching a hand out to her, trying to get her to co-operate by using her own tactics against her.

The old nickname rings through the room, hitting her ears and creating a tense moment of old memories. A sob breaks from her chest, reaching for your hand and locking her fingers with yours.

“Come on, let’s go…we can figure it out together, like we always do…right, baby?” This seems to be working, she’s got her hand in yours, hyperventilating as the ocean pours out from her eyes.

“Don’t you get it, Y/n?” Nayeon sniffles.

“There is no out.” Swinging the knife and slicing you across the chest violently, the unexpected movement as you thought you had her in your grasps by giving her what she wanted.

A loud boom claps through the room as the warm crimson spills out from your skin, it’s a surface wound - thankfully but the blood is still ever flowing.

Looking at Nayeon and watching it in slow motion as the blood spilled from her own chest…her knees hit the ground, dropping the knife on her way and toppled over onto her side - gasping for air and coughing up her own life force.

Instinctually, you rush over to her and places your hand over her would to keep the blood in. The cops call an ambulance, and you try to hold in the tears now that the danger has been quelled.

“Y/n?” Choked out between wheezes and coughs.

“Yeah?” Sadness in the tone of your reply, you never wanted it to come to this…you wanted her to be held accountable but…this is…not what you imagined.

“Can I…ask you…something?” Her voice getting quieter as the sentence carries on.

Nodding your head, a tear breaks free from your eyes.

“Do you believe we can turn into different people?” Almost a whisper this time.

“I watched it happen to you…” replied through the tightness of your throat and the ache of what was happening in front of you.

“Do you wish that you loved me?”

The questions burns in your ears, stinging it’s way down your neck to your chest and down to your stomach.

“…No. I wish I didn’t.” Words hitching as you sniffle through them.

Nayeon lets out a soft chuckle, lifting her had with the rest of the energy she had to wipe the tears from your eyes.

“It’s been so long since I’ve touched your face, I forgot what it feels like…” tears of her own spilling as she chokes on more of her own blood.

“I wish I never reminded myself…I tried to fix it all but…nothing seemed to help.” Breathed through the trauma she had endured throughout this night.

“I’m sorry my love…I’ll be better in the next life.” Coughing and hacking after the sentence only for her body to go limp in your arms, eyes open but staring at nothing as she takes her last and final breath.

Time is frozen for you and you only, the cops lift you from her and move you over to Mina who is still crying and waiting for you with open arms.

“Get her out of here!” The cop instructs Mina, she guides to the door and into the hallway.

“Let’s go downstairs and wait for the ambulance to get here, okay?” Staring at your hands, covered in Nayeon’s blood and seeing your own shirt soaked in a mixture of yours and hers…you come up with responses or even know what to speak out loud.

Mina takes the lead and takes you out of what once was your home, now only serving as a point as a headstone to the memory of Im Nayeon.

—

The sherif and first responders bring down the gurney with the body bag on it, packing it into the second ambulance and sending it off to the morgue.

The EMT responsible for stitching up your chest and removing the shards from your side mentioned to Mina that you were in a state of shock and should be okay in an hour or so, offering to let you sit on the tailgate of the vehicle until you were okay to drive.

Mina never left your side.

Not once since she had you again.

Phone vibrating next to you, rattling against the metal and startling both you and Mina. She picked up the phone, answering it quickly.

It’s Momo.

“Yeah, Y/n is okay. A few more stitches in her chest and she’s in shock but she’s okay…Mhm, yeah…” Mina looks at you with sad eyes, she was going to say it out loud.

“Momo, Dahyun…Nayeon is…Nayeon is dead.”

Silence.

“She was shot by one of the police officers. She tried to kill Y/n with a knife…it’s a lot, I know…Yeah we can meet you there once Y/n calms down a little more…okay…okay text me the address…alright I’ll see you soon. Bye.” Hanging up and sitting next to you.

Reaching over to Mina, you grab her left hand and lean your head on her shoulder. Wrapping her right arm around you, she just holds you closely. Giving you a forehead kiss and cooing that everything is okay now.

The only thing that felt okay, was her.

—

Mina hired people to clean up your apartment, paying the lease and moving you in with her. After a few weeks you and her both were mostly healed, ribs no longer broken…only the physical and emotional scars remain.

Though you lived together, most of your relationship was taking care of one another’s wounds and making sure the panic attacks had someone to combat them but what you really wanted was to build on the already solid foundation.

It was hard.

On both of you.

The girls came over every few days to check in, making sure that you both were doing okay. Momo called you every day, coming over most days of the week to cook for you and Mina.

Appreciating everything that everyone was doing to show up for you, there was a grey wash over you. Something you couldn’t explain, but it was noticeable to everyone…you weren’t as cheery and joy filled as you were…before.

Often waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, panicking from the nightmares of Nayeon holding a gun to your face or a knife to your throat - you would sob and Mina would hold you.

Three months of this was driving you crazy, never truly resting the way that you needed to, you drowned in your head and your thoughts - the flashbacks so unsettling that all you can do is sit still and hope they pass quickly while trying not to cry.

The lack of sleep caused you to not be present more often than not. Unable to hold a conversation for longer than 5 minutes or focus on a tv show, playing video games…food was uninteresting, skipping meals most days- it worried Mina more than she led on.

One particular night, after jolting out of sleep from a nightmare, you got up and put on a robe to cover your mostly naked body before strolling into the living room and wandering to the balcony. Taking a seat in one of the rocking chairs, just taking in the calmness of the night when you heard the door creak behind you - startling you.

Mina steps into the moonlight, still in just her panties.

“Mind if I join you?” The tiredness in her voice made you want to send her back to bed but you knew she was going through the same things you were, but she was trying to be strong about it for you.

Nodding your head, she walked over to sit in your lap, her legs horizontally across your thighs so she could lean into you. Her skin was cold against yours, even with the chill, you welcomed this contact with her.

Throwing part of the robe over her legs and covering her back with the other part as best you could, you both just sit in silence, keeping each other warm and enjoy the night sky together.

Looking up at Mina’s beautiful face, your eyes trace down her body to the scar where the bullet entered…your throat tightens, eyes watering as you bring your finger up and lightly trace it.

“I’m sorry…” choked out through the attempt to keep yourself from sobbing.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, baby.” Reassuring you, placing a hand on the back of your neck and slipping it up into your hair.

“If I had jus-“

“No.” Cutting you off before you could finish the sentence.

“You did everything you could do. She was the one who couldn’t respect that she made a mistake and took that out on you and I…that’s not your fault…that’s her fault.” there is a hitch in her breath that makes you hold her just a little bit tighter.

Tears streaming down both of your faces, she traces the long sliced scar across your own chest and you sigh.

“My reflection doesn’t smile back at me anymore.” Whispered through the silence of the night, followed by your sniffles and you trying to clear your throat.

The silence continues for a moment.

“Your reflection is missing out…Mine smiles back at me because of you.” matter of factly stated.

“Because of me?” throat closing as you speak the words out loud.

“Absolutely because of you. You are amazing, Y/n…you are everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner and so much more…you have shown me that even in the worst of times, life can still be great. Look at what we went through together! Look at all what we survived…together. I know that things have been a little rough after the fact, but we are still building…and my intention is to keep building…with you.” Lightly crying in the memory.

“You and I, we can get through anything.” Smiling through the tears she had.

“Y/n, I love you…” cupping your face with her hands and kissing you softly.

The warmth of her love radiated through you, evaporating any doubt or self blame you were having. It was nice not having to question if she was telling the truth or not. Every single display of love was in her actions, though this was the first time she actually said it out loud, you had known for a while.

Lips parting, she placed her forehead on yours, looking you in the eyes.

“Okay?” With a silly tone, eye wide trying to provoke you to giggle.

“Okay.” Smiled back at her.

Rocking in the chair together for a few minutes, you realize that this is what you always dreamed of. The fantasy of having someone who wouldn’t give up on you, the openness to be able to talk about what was bothering you…hope for the future…

Mina, this type of undying love….this was what you wanted.

“Hey, Mina?”

“Yes, my love?” Facing you to make sure you know that her attention was yours.

“I love you too.”

She rests her head on your shoulder and sighs, relaxing her body into yours. This brings a comfort to you that you can’t elaborate.

“Do you want to go on a date tomorrow?” Feeling her voice reverberate in your chest as she asks.

“I would love to.” Planting a light peck on her forehead before resting your head there.

Continuing to sit calmly in the moonlight together, anticipating tomorrow as you calmly rock back and forth.

—

The brightness of the sun wakes you around 11am, calmly waking up for the first time in weeks. Mina is laying in your arms, still sleeping peacefully with her face in your chest. Not wanting to wake her just yet, you admire the calmness of the morning you’ve woken up to.

Mina shifts in her sleep, leaning into you more, and clinging to you even more. A small giggle erupts from you - feeling her smile into your skin, you stroke her hair.

“Good Morning, beautiful.”

“Good Morning, baby.” Her eyes still closed, tilting her head back and puckering her lips - asking you for a kiss.

Happily granting her wishes, you kiss her gently - a few soft sweet pecks before sitting up in bed. Nails tracing shapes on your lower back as you look over at her.

Bare faced and beaming up at you, you can’t help but think about how you got here. Everything that has transpired, all the heart ache and the worry…all of that leading up to this moment of waking up next to someone who would never dream of putting you through that.

In fact, she cares so much that she went through it with you…hand in hand.

Sighing, you lay back down with her, facing her and brushing a piece of hair out of her face just to tuck it behind her ear.

A bright gummy smile beamed at you sleepily, warmth in its light.

The sun couldn’t imagine the brightness or the warmth that she filled you with. Despite the scars and wounds you had both suffered together, she was still here…in the lowest point of your life she was a consistent ray of shining effervescent light.

“Do you know how special you are, Mina?” Tone turning serious for a moment, first thing in the morning.

“I could ask you the same question.” As she takes your hand off her face, softly kissing your palm before cuddling your arm.

The idea sprang into your head, something thought about in passing but too scared to focus on - you weren’t so scared anymore.

“Did you have anything planned for that date tonight?” Eyebrow raised and lips pursed.

“I was just about to ask what you wanted to do.”

“I’m…highjacking this date!” Jumping up and throwing on a pair of pants and a shirt.

“Hey! Where are you going?!” Leaping after you, wrapping her hands around your neck and clinging to you.

“I just highjacked a date, Mina! I have to make it special if I’m stealing it from you!” Smirking at her.

“Anything with you is special.” Kissing from your neck up to your jaw, making you totally weak in the knees.

“M-Mina! Stop trying to seduce meeeee!” The way you whined at her brought out that beautiful smile again.

Grabbing your wallet off the dresser, you hand her one of your cards.

“Baby, why are you giving me your card?” Confusion in her tone and concern on her face.

“Tonight’s date is all on me. All of it. So, do me a favor…” wrapping your arms around her waist and scooting her back to the bed so she’s seated.

“Take my card, go get your nails done and get an outfit for tonight.” Kissing her one last time before heading towards the door.

“But-“

“No buts! Unless it’s yours, then yes…butts.” Blowing her a kiss and slipping out the door.

Her giggle follows you.

—

Getting yourself a new outfit for the date as you were still replacing everything that was destroyed.

A medium grey sweater that hugged you perfectly, some fitted black slacks and black dress shoes. Mina would go crazy seeing you in this and that’s what you wanted.

Walking back to the car, you try not to pay too much attention to what’s across the street from the store you were in.

You hadn’t been there…maybe you should go. You know the number of the plot…

Before you could argue with yourself further you were pulling into the dirt parking lot and stepping out of the car.

Walking down the isles and counting until you hit the one you knew it was at.

Taking a deep breath, you walk to the stone and read it.

~Im Nayeon~

~Forever in our hearts~

Fans had scattered the grave with wreaths, photocards, flowers and candles that had burnt out all their life force.

You were just happy none of the fans were here to see you visiting so you could have your peace in this moment.

The company did a very good job at covering up how it all happened, burying police reports and blaming it on a car accident.

JYP had been collecting letters sent to the company for you, the world not knowing what she put you through…they offer sympathy but it only caused you more suffering. You opted not to read them.

The online comments about you being with Mina were hard to swallow, everyone placing bets on who you’d be with next when they had no idea what you had already been through with Nayeon.

The world never knew what she was or who she was. A secret kept from everyone in order to protect the privacy of Twice and you while you all healed.

Staring for a minute, you drop your head and have a moment of silence with yourself.

The birds are chirping, the sun is bright and you were about to propose to your girlfriend tonight but you were here…somberly staring at the cold stone slab that Nayeon was buried under.

“I’m going to ask Mina to marry me today, Nayeon…I know that probably doesn’t sit well with you.” A dull whisper of wind pushes your hair out of your face as you sit down in front of her grave.

“What you and I had…it wasn’t love…it was never love…and I know that because what you put me through is something I would never put Mina through…I wouldn’t have put you through it either.” Eyes staring to well up in anger and sadness, tears falling and hitting your pant legs with a thick rhythmic thwap.

“But…Mina is exactly what I’ve always wanted…she’s what I thought you were.” Taking a deep breath as you carry on.

“It’s still so hard to wrap my brain around. How did you go from humming in the kitchen and trying to make my coffee perfect to…shooting her and stabbing me? And what you did to Jihyo? I just…” choking on your words, face twisting in discomfort.

“Not in this life or the next…Goodbye, Im Nayeon.” Taking a second to blink the pain from your eyes, another deep breath, you stand up and walk back to your car.

You’ve got some preparing to do.

—

Next to stop for flowers, and then you’ll be ready to go and pick up Mina from your shared apartment.

Though it hadn’t been long since the two of you had been together, it felt like a life time. There was nothing you were more sure about than marrying her.

Grabbing a bouquet of 2 dozen roses, you are officially ready to return back to your apartment.

Pulling into the parking lot and going up the stairs, you hear the shower running. Taking the moment where Mina was distracted, you set up the flowers in the living room. Frilling them out and making sure they were perfect.

Once that was done, you went into the room - removing your shirt and pants on the way and heading straight for the bathroom to join Mina.

Angelic singing echoing against the tile, her shadow behind the frosted glass washing her hair.

Stripping out of your underwear, you knock lightly on that glass.

“Room for one more?”

“Hmmmm, I suppose I could make room.” Winking before stepping to the side and letting you into the drizzle of the shower head.

—

Mina stayed in the bathroom to dry her hair and style it while you went and got ready in the room. Slipping on your new slacks, you grab the sweater and slide it on before brushing it out as a nervous tick.

A spray of the sandalwood perfume you like and a watch, you’re almost ready to go.

Sneaking over to your sock drawer in the dresser and pulling out a little suede box and stuffing it in your pocket quickly.

“I want to surprise you with the dress I got so go to the living room when you’re finished!” Shouted with excitement.

“Yes Ma’am, leaving now.” Stepping out of the room and closing the door.

Thinking it is a little chilly outside, you should probably grab your jacket. There was a charcoal grey peacoat you had that would match, and hand an inner pocket to hide the ring.

Putting the jacket on, you tug the ring out of your back pocket and pop the box open.

It’s perfect.

An oval diamond on a platinum band with two smaller diamonds framing the one in the middle, classy and elegant just like her.

Closing the box, you put it in your jacket and take a deep breath. Nerves getting the better of you as you wait.

It didn’t take long for Mina to emerge from the bedroom. Hearing the door open, you turn your head to see your beautiful girlfriend.

Holy.

Shit.

A bright candy apple red cocktail dress, hair done in large beach waves with a nude lip. The embodiment of heaven blessing you with her presence, elegant and sexy…you were very lucky for so many reasons and very aware of that.

“Oh, wow…” standing up immediately, you walk over to her - jaw to the floor.

Suddenly Mina gasps at the roses set up for her on the coffee table.

“Honey! These are so beautiful!” Running over to them to stick her nose in them and take a deep whiff of their fragrance.

“Thank you.” The eyes she’s giving you sends a chill, jaw still on the floor at her in this dress.

“Can you help me?” Pointing to her back and turning around to reveal her zipper half way down.

Oh, the nerves persist, rattling you to your core. Hands shakily taking the small zipper and tugging it up, you release the metal and hear it rattle.

“Are you shaking? Did you eat today?” Concern in her voice, she turns around quickly to face you, brows furrowed in worry.

“Yes, I did eat.” Sheepishly, trying not to make eye contact.

The warmth in your cheeks gives you away to her.

“Y/n L/n, are you blushing right now?” Her hands go to hips, the smirk she gives you makes you cover your eyes.

“You’re cute when you blush.” Reaching for your fingers to hold your hand.

“You might still make me nervous…” timidly expressed with a chuckle.

“Nervous?! We are just going to dinner, my love! No need to be nervous.” Kissing your cheek and grabbing her shoes to slip on.

Strapped black heels to finish the look off and a black clutch to match.

Catching her eyeing you while she fixes the straps on her shoes, you wink at her and taking the moment of separation to grab her long black jacket out of the closet.

“Thank you for getting my jacket baby, and can I just say…you clean up so well.” Winking back at you as you hold her coat open for her so she could easily put it on.

“Thank you,” kissing her and admiring her.

“Ready?”

Mina nods her head at you, you hold the door for her while she steps out and you’re off on your date.

—

Dinner was smooth, taking her to a fancy steak house around the corner for your apartment. The food was great, the atmosphere was quiet and the conversation was immaculate as always.

Unsure of how you were going to pop the question, you just let the night take you where ever it may.

A glass of wine or two and you were feeling less nervous than before, now it was just a matter of timing.

Unwilling to ask her in public, you tried to think about what you could do or where you could take her that would be romantic and still personal.

“Wow, the sunset looks really pretty tonight.” Pointed out to you as you left the restaurant.

“Do you want to go watch it at the park?” Perfect idea.

“I’d love that.” Smiling up at you as you set off.

The park only being a block away was a big win, especially with her in those shoes. Clinging to your arm the entire way there, you find a bench in front of a stream and watch as the sun goes down.

Mina’s head is resting on your shoulder, still holding onto your arm and sighing into relaxation.

“Hey, Mina?”

“Hm?”

“Well…” the nerves returned rapidly as you start your speech.

“You know you mean the world to me? You’re so kind and caring, intelligent, thoughtful…I really respect and admire the person you are.”

*Deep breath, keep going*.

“Everyday, even the days that wouldn’t classify as great, since I’ve met you, you’ve only added to my life. I’ve grown so much…I value myself more, and I finally know what love truly means. Through out the relationship we’ve built, you constantly show up for me…you are an amazing partner and friend.” Running out of breath, forgetting to inhale and exhale while you talk.

Mina is looking you in the eyes, tearing up as you continue.

“I would not have made it through…the situation we were in without you…and to be honest, I don’t want to know another day without you as my partner. You are everything I dreamed of and so so so much more.”

Standing up and kneeling down on one knee in the gravel, you pull the box out of your jacket, anxiously trembling as you pop it open in front of her.

Mina’s hands cover her mouth as she gasps in shock at the ring, the tears are now freely falling as she covers her entire face with them.

“Mina Sharon Myoui, w-will you marry me?” Quivering through the most important sentence of your life.

Mina is aggressively nodding her head yes, sniffling and choking back happy tears while she extends her left hand towards you.

Slipping her ring on her finger, you kiss her hand and stand up only for her to follow you in a massive hug, sobbing into your neck and squeezing you.

“You are everything to me.” Her tightened throat squeaked out.

Meeting you face to face, placing her hands on your cheeks and bringing you in for a kiss drenched in pure love.

Resting your foreheads together, you’re smiling at each other- holding each other and living right in that moment where you’re supposed to be.

This is what they talk about in movies. This is what the love songs are written about.

This is Eden.

“So, future Mrs. Myoui, what would you like to do for the rest of the evening?” Starting to walk home hand in hand, Mina’s ring finger sparkling in the moonlight.

“Anything.”

“Anything?” Eyebrows raised, she has something in mind.

“Mhm, what are you thinking?” Kicking a pebble on the street as you walk.

Mina can’t seem to shake the smile she has, you share that sentiment.

“I can think of a few things, actually.”

“Oh, really? Like what?”

“Well, I might’ve bought more than just this dress…and I’m going to be honest, I’ve been staring at you all night.” A glimmer in her eye, a look.

THE look.

“More than just the dress, huh? I’m intrigued.” raising an eyebrow at her.

“…it’s actually under the dress.” Casually dropping the information.

“Drinks before dessert?” as you turn the key to your apartment.

“Whatever you want, soon-to-be Mrs. Myoui.”

[lovebeatriceplz]

Ekko should be the symbol of loyalty for Arcane. Whenever someone mentions loyalty most of us immediately think Sevika, rightfully so. Sevika however, didn't have a choice, of course she was stubbornly loyal to silco, the undercity, it's all she has. The main difference is Ekko was given a choice, and he chose Zaun, I'll get into it give me a minute.

From the get go, being raised by Benzo his moral compass would have been moulded, seeing the injustice he was born into, his loyalties already lie with the undercity.

After Vanders death, every single thing he does essentially leads back to the betterment of Zaun, establishing the firefights being the biggest of them all. He didn't kill Jinx (she's a victim too), he helped rally the undercity together in order to defeat the biggest enemy at the moment. He didn't resist when Vi brought Caitlyn along, and I'm sure it felt so wrong to him to be cordial with an enforcer, but he's emotionally mature and knew that in the end it could be his ticket to the council, and eventually better conditions for his people.

Ekko is also my main arguement when people defend Silco. Yes he's also a victim in some way, shape or form, but he's not blameless. Ekko yearns for the undercity to be a place where dreams can come true, where you don't have to worry where your next meal is coming from, where kids don't have to be on their own, scavenging or taking care of addict relatives. Silco also wanted...some of this, but he wanted the control and power that came along with it, there's no way to deny that. Ekko wants respect, equality, and fair treatment from topsiders without undertones of prejudice or fear, silco wanted to be untouchable.

But the real dealbreaker is when the hexcore takes him to an alternative universe. It must have been so sickeningly perfect. Everything he wanted was right there, his father figure, found family, Powder, dreams and ambitions, rights, a future, it was quite literally in the palm of his hands. But he let go, because he had a city to get back to, he had Jinx to get back to. You could give this man anything, lay his deepest desires at his feet, and he'll still stick with Zaun.

(Btw all this came to me due to a take on Ekko by @jinxekkotimebomb I lost the link srry)

[gayofthefae]

It's funny. Every time I watch Byler in context I get the general vibe from Mike and Will - well, especially Will, of "my love life is not our biggest priority right now, okay?" It is upstaged a lot of the time, naturally, because the larger show is supernatural and stuff.

At the roller rink, Will is more worried about El than Mike, for example, in the episode I just rewatched.

But it's funny. When I got to the fight, I found it switched. Almost always throughout my rewatch because it starts off subtly and builds, I had been receiving that - that it was there but not priority. I posted the first instance of exception: when Mike is bullied in the gym. That played as personal.

Similarly, here, for quite a long time I have gotten that sense - it's here but it isn't priority.

But then Mike stops. He stops looking for El. To talk about her, sure, but that's bullshit if he's prioritizing it over looking for her. And they both stop. And they fight with each other. Then about each other.

And that scene is insane. Because it functions as that kind of exception. Mike and Will stop in their tracks of a very important mission they are both on to fight about their relationship.

Mike and Will's romance is there but logically deprioritized, Mike and Will's romance is there but logically deprioritized, Mike and Will's romance is there but logically deprioritized, Mike and Will's relationship is there and...illogically *prioritized*.

It should not have been prioritized there. Logically. She was more important. And in that being written to be true, they showed their true values loud and clear.

The entire time I was watching that scene this time around I was thinking "get your priorities in check". This is not the time. But when it comes up, it comes up. And when it came up, it was the most important thing to them.

When it was still unspoken, it wasn't priority enough to bring up. But once it came up, the fleeting-feeling opportunity to address it became #1. They were both waiting all day for it to be said out loud. And you'd think if it was said out loud at a time with other things happen in like that, they would understood they could talk about it tomorrow.

But nope. This is happening now. Both of them lied. Both of them projected onto El all day. They weren't angry about her. They were just waiting to talk about their relationship, and then never shows more clearly than when their supposed priority is an option.

Just like I've said about Mike not giving a shit about Dart before or after Will cared and going to Will instead when given the choice. Just like I've said about Mike being annoyed to be alone with El in 1x08 when it for the first time meant not looking for Will.

This is the same. He said his priority was El. And that was believable only until he had a choice between the two.

[lunaticalove2]

Okay! I actually wrote the first one! I am waiting for ao3 to send me an invitation, and I'm going to caopy the story there. For now, I'm publishing it here (Story under the cut). Enjoy!

Blitzø's POV

After reuniting with Octavia, Stolas stopped being Stolas. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't speak, wouldn't get up, and I often found him gasping for air in the middle of a panic attack. I feel really bad for him, and I'm doing the best I can to help him through this tough time. He didn't even have the strenght to come to work, so now I leave him to sleep on the couch while I'm in the office or on a mission, and when I come back I make something to eat for the three of us. My biggest fear is him doing stupid things to himself while at work. I try to call him when I'm not there with him just to know he's okay. He doesn't speak much, tho. I told him he just has to pick up the phone and if he doesn't feel like saying something he can just make noises like hoots or something like that. This morning was really tough for him. Stolas tried to call Via again, cause he never gave up with that, and he finally got a response. But it wasn't what he was hoping for. The scene was something like this:

*flashback*

Blitzø:"you sure you wanna call her again? You can try tomorrow"

Stolas just nods, and Blitzø sighs softly, he can't say no to him. The phone rings and someone picks up

Stolas:"Via?!"

Octavia:"Stop calling to this number! If I ever want to talk to you again, I'll be the one to call. So stop looking for me. Bye"

And she hangs up. Stolas looks at the phone, too stunned to speak or even move. Blitzø notices and immediately runs by him.

Blitzø:"Hey, breathe. She's just going through a tough time. Just like you"

Stolas stays silent. Everything starts spinning and his vision is blurring with tears. His breath caught in his throath. Blitzø embraces him and Stolas returns the hug, and soon enough he's hyperventilating and crying in the other's shoulder

*end of flashback*

So now I'm esitant to go to work, I'm scared he's going to do something stupid. And these days he's also refusing to take his anti-depressant. I'm so worried, but I also can't leave everything to Loona and M&M. Today we have many clients, and they can't handle it alone. I decide to approach him. "hey Stols" he looks at me "I have to go to work. Are you gonna be fine on your own for a few hours?" he waits a moment and then nods "alright, I trust you. But if something, ANYTHING, happens, don't hesitate to call me" I kiss him on the forehead "see you later, big bird". And I leave the house.

Stolas's POV

I feel so useless. Blitzø just left for work and I didn't even say anything. And this morning Octavia, my sweet Via, rejected me. When I called her she literally said she didn't want to see me nor talk to me. My mind is full of thoughts, I can't think straight. Withouth noticing, I get up and suddenly I'm in the bathroom. I open the drawer and I take a blade. I deserve it, I tell myself. I starts cutting... 1, 2, 3 cuts. It feels good, and I can't stop. At one point, I don't even know how much time passed, I cut too deep and start panicking, only now realizing what I had done. I immediately get up and put my arms under the water. A few cuts stop bleeding too much after a while, but a few of them are still losing too much blood. I feel myslef on the verge of passing out, I'm so lightheaded. I need to call Blitzø. Even if I'm ashamed to do so. I grab my phone and dial his number. I wait for him to pick up doing my best to stay concious. He picks up almost immediately: "Stols? Are you ok? Something happened" I only manage to croack out a few words with the tears that were now running down my cheeks "B-Blitzø. I'm sorry" he sounds worried as he responds "I'm coming now" and he hangs up. I just need to atay concious.

Blitzø's POV

I just received the call from Stolas. I'm driving as fast as I can, maybe I even killed some people that were crossing the road, but I just need to be there for him. I arrive and burst into the door. "STOLAS!!" I yell from the kitchen. But then I hear some crying from the bathroom and I immediately run in there. I can't believe what i'm looking at right now. Stolas, my Stolas, crying in the bathroom with a blade next to him, and his arms are full of blood. I rush to his side and kick the blade out of his reach. I hug him tight, not caring if my clothes are getting wet with his blood. "I-I-I'm so sorry. I-" I shush him and tell him that it's okay as I let go and look at his arms. This is worse that I thought. Some of the cuts are very deep. I notice that he is breathing heavily, and maybe struggling to stay concious. "Stols, looks at me. Try to focus on me and don't pass out". He nods. I help him off the floor and to the sink, where I remove most of the blood. While doing this, I say "Why would you do that? It's dangerous" he is still crying, probably can't bring himself to stop, and I don't blame him for that "I-I don't know. I-I don't know what's gotten into me. I'm so sorry" I look at him and say "It's okay. Don't apologize. You're going through a tough time". When I finish washing away most of the blood, I take him on the bed, disinfect and bandage his cuts. When I'm done, I give him a cup of water, since he's still shaken and he lost much blood. "Wanna talk about it?" I ask. He shakes his head no. "Can you just... Hold me? For a bit. I'm still kinda dizzy" he says. My expressions softens and i immediately embrace him and rub his back comfortingly. After a moment, I decide to speak again: "When you feel like hurting yourself again, call me right away. I'll help you" he just nods and falls asleep 2 minutes later. I sigh as I continue holding him. It makes me really sad thinking that Stolas, the once always smiling and silly prince, just thought that he deserved to self harm. I once though he was annoying, I though he was just a horny bird that was using me as his toy. But I got to know him, and the most important of all, I learned to love him. And I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure he's safe and happy

Fic Ideas I don't feel like writing, and if someone does, tag me.

Some are a bit angsty (especially this first one. Sorry, i have a dark mind. In fact, that's my favourite)

1- Stolas, after seeing Via like we've seen in sinsmas, is in a really bad mental place, worse than before. So he just stops eating, doesn't talk much, has panic attacks often, and self harms. Blitzø knows of his relationship with food and panic attacks, but doesn't know about his self harm. One day, Stolas locks himself in the bathroom and does THAT. He accidently does a cut too deep and he starts loosing too much blood and feels himslef passing out. The only thing he brings himself to do is call out Blitzø's name. And things escalate from there, with Blitzø cleaning his cuts and helping him calm down and cope with it

2- (this one is a bit comic) after the little dance they had on sinsmas, Loona, Millie and Moxxie, since they saw and registered everything, are rubbing it in their faces and jokingly making fun of them about it

3-Just Stolitz cuddling and joking on the sofa, playing with each other

If I have any other, I'll write them down

[ghcstcd]

Ayo, fam...you need the hookup? 👀 disabled helping the disabled ❤️

I appreciate you reaching out, and your support. A friend came through to help me out in my area, that way things stay nice and legal. Thank you so much.

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 6!!!

[hauntingblue]

Castlevania is interesting but tell my why we get three episodes of internal conflict in the dracula castle (good) while the main characters are on a library and do fuck all. Well they have three scenes of relationship building that are supposed to mean something when they come out but they are so little and superficial imo

[eliashawthorne]

"you're not wrong. it is easier said than done," elias agreed, giving a little nod. he thinks he would use it for good, but who is to say really. “see, but that’s the thing, by improving that person's day you’re already altering the timeline. that one person's day being changed could have drastic measures for the rest humanity in the future. would we be sane for helping them or insane for doing so and possibly altering the future as we know it?” his mind buzzed with possibilities, all revolving around the stuff he has read and seen on tv in regard to time traveling. mostly doctor who kept coming to mind, and he tried to think if there was an episode in which it worked out for the doctor when he tried to alter the timeline a bit. “i wish it didn’t have to be that way, you know? i wish that if we could go back in time and help prevent wars from occurring that it would have a positive effect going forward. everything i have ever seen or read has always done the opposite to the future, even if the action was intended to bring a good change.” he knew there was some balance to it all but did not fully understand it.

his attention easily sways to the conversation about roadside attractions. he thinks for a second, ultimately shaking his head, "i don't know. most of them, i feel, would probably not need employees. maybe a security that roams around to keep an eye on things? even the biggest rubber band ball needs protection," eli jokes, chuckling a bit. he thought about how funny it would be to have 'rubber band security guard' on one's resume, though he highly doubted anyone was patrolling that attraction. museums or ghost town attractions he could get behind. "unfortunately, i was not blessed with the powers of mister fantastic or elastic girl so i will have to rely on a selfie stick. or mental photographs, those never fail me." he had learned a long time ago how to appreciate the moments life gives you while you were in them rather than worrying about capturing them with a piece of technology, but he did treasure the few in between he did have physical snapshots of. "a savings account is probably the way i will ultimately go about it too, but i think i'll buy the book as a little challenge. i wonder far i could get in filling it. my problem is that i never have cash on me these days, if i do it's at the most twenty bucks. so i feel like i'll forget to take the cash out to set aside for the book." he chuckled, shrugging, "only one way to find out, huh?"

he wasn't too worried about the cat sitting situation because he knew no matter where mochi end up going during the road trip the cat would be in good hands. if it really got down to it, he could see about taking mochi to the animal sanctuary for a couple of days. his thoughts drift over to how his cat could be doing tonight with the fireworks and honestly, he hopes he is okay. "i should have done the same with mochi. i hope he's okay. maybe they are both snuggled into a blanket fast asleep." he could only hope. "speaking of fireworks, do you have anyone you're watching the show with tonight?"

Doing the right thing was always harder than doing the easy thing. That was why so many people so many people struggled with it. It was a weakness that even Zarah didn’t know that she was immune from. At the end of end of the day, she was human and even she could have impulses that were less than generous from time to time. “It’s easy to say what you would do when you’re not in the situation to have that choice,” she could admit. “I like to think that I could resist the power and do the right thing. Intellectually, it’s what I’d want to do but then there is this other side of me – a darker side of me that would literally make the worst choices.” That was where she hoped that there would be people in her life who would bring her to her senses and encourage her better angels to win. “What is meant to happen is supposed to happen and maybe it still would but if you could do something to interrupt someone’s worst day, wouldn’t any sane person give it a go?” After all it was all theory based on fictional technology and so none of it really mattered at the end of the day.

Zarah was very much an action sort of person. She could plan when it was necessary, knew how to put things together in a cohesive way. In her day to day, she simply took action when an idea came to her. She didn’t allow herself to get too bogged down with worrying about the aftermath – especially when it came to things that there wasn’t any real chance of long term consequences. It probably helped that in general she wasn’t afraid to do thing on her own. It was great when she could pull someone else in but if they didn’t she wasn’t going to let that stop her if she felt strongly enough about it. That didn’t mean, she believed in inviting herself in on things, even with people she generally thought liked her. “Do random roadside attractions have employees?” she couldn’t help but ask. She assumed if there was a museum or a whole town built around the landmark it seemed likely but if it was more like a random art exhibit on the side of the road it was probably less likely. “It would be pretty disappointing if you ended up somewhere alone and no one to take the photos but exceptionally long arms work as good as a selfie stick.” Honestly, the trips without pictures could be just as much fun if it meant getting to fully immerse in the experience without technology getting in the way. “The savings book idea would fail me. I’d end up borrowing from it every time someone invites me out. I’m much better taking it to a saving account I have to pretty much leave alone.”

There were pros and cons of not immediately heading to college after high school. It had taken her some time to really make that decision to get back into it. She’d never really had that dorm experience and a lot of the people in her classes were younger, not that she was exactly old but she had a few more years of life experience in comparison to some of them. She felt like having her own place, having a full time job and trying to balance the classes at night as an adult was easier than it would have been if she’d pursued it when she was eighteen or nineteen in comparison now. That didn’t mean it didn’t have its complications. For now, she was content to have a bit of a break before the next semester really kicked in. “I’m sure one of them will step up,” she said with a nod. They seemed nice enough and if they didn’t step up, surely someone that he worked with would be willing to help for a good cause. There wasn’t any cause as good as a road trip. “If they don’t, we’ll figure it out. I’m pretty good at rolling with the punches.” She allowed herself another sup of her drink. “Hopefully, he’s not home freaking out about fireworks. Marmalade hates them. I had to dose him a bit before I left the apartment.”

[nemotakeit]

i remember the first time ever i listened to SO i was like pfft rap? get out. (i was cringe) and then when i gave it a listen again a few months later i was a changed person... so i binge listened to their entire discography immediately and was genuinely shocked because how could ALL of their songs be bangers, like i couldn't believe it was possible it was surreal........ i wish i could turn back time (lol) to experience that pure shock again