#that's my HUSBAND you don't understand
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not to be horny on main (as always) but if I'm not waking up naked in his bed WHAT IS THE POINT
#you know#sometimes i think i’m real unhinged for him#but then i remember that my primary fantasy is to just. marry maximus and have some kids and live on a little farm together#i am actually a very simple woman despite all the insane ranting#give me plain vanilla every day for the rest of my life#as long as it’s with this sweet and precious man#the most man of all time#i need ALL of my skin against ALL of his skin#i need him kissing my neck and holding my wrists down and whispering in my ear while we make love#like????#is that SO MUCH to ask???#my man is the only man the man of all time#that's my HUSBAND you don't understand#we're legally married#i'm mrs. decimus meridius#i'm providing him with love and comfort and adoration every day and night until i die#i love you maximus#fun fact: this is my lock screen#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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i love being married to a straight guy. this morning we were parallel chilling and i glance at his computer and he's watching a drill fight tournament. as in, guys attaching drills to the same rod and turning them on until one breaks. to find the strongest drill. jose noticed me staring and rolled out of the way so i could see the screen. he knew every drill brand and told me their quality and price. i watched the whole thing without comment. the violence was enchanting. i never would have found this. he's a vector to an entirely alien, often beautiful, world.
#m2a#i reek of bisexuality so hard that multiple people have said we have bi couple energy#and I'm always like you don't understand. i have never met a more heterosexual human than my husband.#he's perfect.
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GOOD OMENS SEASON 3 IS HAPPENING SO I SHALL REPOST ALL OF MY GOOD OMENS ART IN CELEBRATION!! 🥳❤️
WAHOO!!!
#i'm SO excited you don't understand#i was so terrified we weren't gonna see them again#BUT NOW ITS OFFICIAL#THEYRE COMING BACK!!#Good Omens#Good Omens fanart#Good Omens 3#man it feels nice to say good omens 3#Neil Gaiman#Aziracrow#ineffable husbands#my art#aziracrow fanart
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bsd rewatch w my friend means obligatory art of my fav found family ever
#WAAAAAAAAAUUUUGHHHHHHHH I MISS THEM SO FUCKING MUCH YOU GUYS GENUINELY DON'T UNDERSTAND..............................................#LIKE. NOT A DAY GOES BY WHERE I DONT THINK ABT THEM UEUUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEUEUEUEUE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#bro i didn't mean to make atsushi that short LMFAO it's ok tho bc he's their little boy. their son#literally was in the trenches drawing kunikida bc i've been drawing twinks for so long i forgot how to draw actual MEN😭😭#when will my family return from the war.....................................................................#rewatching bsd made me realize its just a rly shitty slice of life romcom featuring ml dazai and his tired work partner/husband#and the story of how they got their first kid. sopping wet pathetic kitten of a boy they picked up off the riverbank#anyway theyre all so dear to me you don't understandddddd i love these dumbass partners and their little tiger boy :((((((((((((((#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#atsushi nakajima#nakajima atsushi#doppo kunikida#kunikida doppo#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#kunikidazai#knkdz#lotus draws
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Okay, so I haven't watched all of FMAB yet, but I love how Ed is so fucking oblivious. He got a gorgeous girl, way smarter than him and out of everybody's league, who plays with the cord of the telephone when they speak together because she's down bad and laughs softly when he talks. And he's like "yeah, yeah, well, I am glad you're alive haha I thought they were going to brutally fucking murder you today. So that's a relief. Bye, super best friend in the world" and hangs up like the moron he is. But not only that, because well, they can't see each other so I get he doesn't notice the crush in Winry's voice, BUT LING?????? Dude has been with that prince inside a guy's stomach and has carried him around and cooked him his boot and yelled at him for giving up because he can't leave somebody as ambitious as him there without accomplishing what he wants, and then he says some gay bullshit like "Ling is still in there" after looking at Greed's eyes ONCE. One thing is not realizing a girl is crushing on you but Oh my God Edward for fuck's sake get a clue and realize you like men-
#i love winry and edward because they're the shoujo type of romance i love and it's childhood bffs and also angsty#but ling and edward are just the type of gay people you only find on shonens i swear#i am also not complaining about greed in ling's body because he's really funny but if you don't give me back my silly prince i am going to-#also winry and ling are so down bad and i understand they like failguys#riza understands too have you seen her husband roy mustang that man is the definition of a failguy#ling and ed have something so gay going on AND NOBODY TOLD ME WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT THIS#i am really enjoying the show btw not only the ships it's just that i don't want to give my opinions on the plot yet until i finish this#bc if somebody spoils me this i am going to kill my-#fmab#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#edwin#edling#edward elric#ling yao#winry rockbell
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We're winning this year folks
#god i love being queer so much#I'm so excited for all this new content#like you don't understand#all of these could easily fix me and all my problems#good omens#good omens season 2#anthony j crowley#Crowley#aziraphale#crowly x aziraphale#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#red white and royal blue#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#firstprince#alex x henry#casey mcquiston#heartstopper#heartstopper season 2#charlie spring#nick nelson#charlie x nick#what we do in the shadows#what we do in the shadows season 5#laszlo cravensworth#nadja of antipaxos#guillermo de la cruz#nandor the relentless#colin robinson
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An evening out.
#darmione#dramione art#dramione fanart#draco/hermione#dhr#hermione x draco#draco x hermione#older dramione#draco in blue#hermione in blue#hi guys!#I finished a drawing!#Instead of crochet!#Every time I opened procreate over the past year I worked on this#I hated it so much#Hermione's hair fought me tooth and nail#if I ever share the progress video you will understand my pain#And my husband said Draco looked like Biden which made me sad#But I was determined to finish it before I worked on anything else because I put so much time into it already#it was a sunk-cost fallacy I am aware#but look! its done!#I don't completely hate this background!#This might be a continuation of the Chief Warlock/Auror drawing from 2022#or it could be something else!#What do you think is happening here? Whose house are they in??#There are more drawings#We'll see if I post them#Now I am going to wander back into my cave of despair where I will ignore everything I am supposed to do#Just kidding. Off I go to mark things#procreate
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The Untamed | Episode 36 [Drunk Lan Wangji And His Chickens]
⤳WangXian’s Favorite Scenes [19/∞]⬿
#the untamed#cql#theuntameddaily#the time lwj asked wwx to get married but he didn't understand#come to think of it lwj was doing some research on wedding offerings. why do you know about the chickens?#i'm sure that wouldn't be in the gusu rules...#like when you are ready to get married but you are widowed without getting married and 13/16 years later your almost-husband was alive#and you have to get drunk to be able to give him some fat chickens#but at the end of the day wwx is stupid and doesn't know#today i used a new filter for editing. i don't know if it's called that but 🤷♀️#wangxian#wei wuxian#lan wangji#my gifs#mygifs.scene
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a little thing I did for a friend I got for a secret santa 👉👈
something something, they signed a treaty and have to take part in an official celebration
issue:
fwhip has no idea how to dance AND is a gay mess about it
#jimmy is extremely smug about it#because he is decent at dancing and loves making fwhip embarrassed and or flustered#I DEMAND FOR FICS OF THEM!!!!#I'm very glad people write for s2 too but my boys :(((((#i still don't understand how s1 fwhimmy is not more popular#it got enemies to lovers. mutual pinning. denial. two idiots not knowing they are in love. doomed by the narrative.#isn't it like???? what people always use as aus for other ships????#and u got it canon right here?????#also you can do arranged marriage and all that#who can i pay to write me more fwhimmy s1 /srs#anyway#KAHIDJSJDBSUA rant over#fwhimmy#empiresshipping#fwhip#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#empires smp season one#fish husbands#my art
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"Children should be dragged kicking and screaming to school and the doctor's office and grandma's house and the park" is not and never will be a pro-child opinion.
If your kid doesn't want to go to school so much that they throw a temper tantrum and scream until they go hoarse, and your response is "shut up because you have to go" the problem is still you ignoring your kids needs and you're a shitty parent.
#I always remember a fight I got into on Reddit about this woman complaining that her kid hated broccoli#Because SHE had power and her 4 year old did not this meant that every meal had to feature broccoli#So literally every meal was a fight with her 4 year old and she called it a “power struggle”#Ma'am he's 4#The complaint was he's manipulative and awful and bratty because when he started crying his dad would say he didn't have to eat the broccol#She literally described her own toddler as spoiled#Anyway we as the audience were supposed to side with her against her indulgent husband since she was a SAHM and knew everything#My comment was obviously stop trying to make him eat broccoli?#Her response was that children HAVE to eat vegetables and I wouldn't understand bc I didn't have children#If she didn't force feed her toddler vegetables the vegetable police would shoot her or something#When I said yes but there are dozens of types of vegetables why can't he eat a carrot?#I was informed that she controlled what he ate and he needed to eat what she fed him#Like the only person causing a fight is you#You are unhinged and that child should not be in your custody#But somehow I was crazy for saying that if your kid doesn't like something don't feed them it?#I was told children have to be force exposed to things they don't like especially if they don't like them#So they don't grow up to eat limited diets which is apparently more embarrassing than your kid crying so hard he throws up#And refusing to eat any food that you prepare#But I'm the crazy one!
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oh for fuck's sake
source: x
+ bonus
whatever the fuck jure and bojan had going on
#they are so important to me#you don't understand#never beating the husbands allegations#they are so soft and adorable and ugh i want what they have#silly slovenian musicians make my mind go jgkgjdjsk#enjoy these badly-made gifs#nace jordan#jan peteh#jance#janace#jure maček#bojan cvjetićanin#joker out
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some of the polls make me realize you guys do not get Hannibal. you just don't. you project too much to actually perceive the character as he truly is. you project like crazy on Will and specially Abigail but at least those you get a bit better but Hannibal? damn y'all do not pay attention to my baby
#my poor silly cannibal#you guys always say stupid shit like he doesn't understand modern references or slangs or media#HELLO did u watch the fucking show?!#or you think he is disgusted by the stupid stuff you're disgusted by? no bby he has transcended these things please show some respect for#my killer#he deserves more attention#I know Will is pretty but LOOK AT MY KILLER#HE DESERVES BETTER#don't talk to me wuw#nbc hannibal#hannigram#will graham#hannibal#murder husbands#hannibal lecter#hugh dancy#mads mikkelsen
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I'm not the first person to say this, but there really is something groundbreaking about the lack of romantic plotlines in Wolf 359.
Wolf 359 is a story aimed at and about adults. It's partly about what it means to be human. It's partly about how we exist in relation to other people. It's partly about interpersonal connection and understanding. It has character relationships at its heart. It features so many moments of love and care between characters. It takes place across just over two years of the characters' lives, with 61 episodes and a main cast that grows to a decent size.
And despite all this, the show doesn't feature a single canonical 'on-screen' romantic (or sexual) relationship. Perhaps that shouldn't be as rare as it is, but it's one of the many things that makes Wolf 359 special to me.
#Wolf 359#w359#Obvs there's Minkowski's husband and Eiffel was with Kate#but neither of those are focal points#and we don't actually hear Kate or Koudelka#Before Jacobi declared he liked the menfolk#there were a fair few people expressing frustration at the lack of canon queer rep in w359#which I do understand cos that's something lots of people go to fiction podcasts for#and I do understand why it matters to ppl#but a part of me thinks that when you interpret 'queer' in that broader sense about questioning/ defying societal norms#there is something arguably queer about making a show like this#and deliberately not having a single canon romantic relationship between the main cast#For a show to ask 'what makes us human?' and not even vaguely put romantic love on the table as a possibility#that's queer to me#At any rate it's really refreshing#When I first started listening to Wolf 359 back in 2017#there was a part of me bracing myself for a shoehorned-in romantic plotline#I felt like the question was 'who' and 'when' rather than 'if'#because that tends to be the way#It blew my mind when I realised this show didn't treat romance as a necessary ingredient#This is not to knock shippers for doing their thing btw#People can explore possibilities outside of canon#I'm just talking about how I feel about canon#And yes these are feelings I have as an aro person#but I do think it's valuable and refreshing in general not just for aspec people
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You guys will never guess what I'm making with Legos!
Well, okay. You might guess.
#good omens#lego#ineffable husbands#crowley#aziraphale#you don't understand how difficult it was to fill the tiny wine glasses and bottle with wax from my wax seal kit#i'm exhausted#things i made
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Things that happened in Martyn & Cleo Double Life canon:
Cleo hoping to find her soulmate and start a life with them
Cleo dumping Martyn without giving him a chance to explain his side of the story, but hearing him out when he comes to her later
Martyn watching Cleo through his spyglass and telling the audience she seems safe and happy even though he thinks it's weird she's outside at night
Martyn, after he's had time to consider how he wants to play this, spinning a story about trying to be a provider for her and Cleo explaining that she wanted him, not things
Cleo not being remotely impressed by the "I was providing" sob story, lol
Martyn calling Cleo selfish for choosing to be with Scott because she's supposed to be HIS soulmate and he wants a partner
Cleo willing to forgive Martyn if he meets them halfway
Martyn refusing to meet them halfway because he doesn't think he did anything wrong
Martyn screaming about how Cleo's building bridges with Scott but "When will she think about mending our bridges???"
Martyn explaining to Cleo that he doesn't understand why his Session 1 actions bothered them
Martyn centering his character arc and roleplay on trying to win Cleo back without actually apologizing
Cleo giving Martyn a flower and stating that if he loses it, she'll be real cross with him
Cleo chasing Martyn out of her yard because he tried to put an HOA sign on her base and she wanted to make it clear that she wasn't associated with them and their hate for his base (even though she does think his heart base is strange)
Martyn attacking Cleo after she said attacking is a form of affection to her
Cleo setting boundaries with Martyn and explaining what he can do to get her back
Cleo sighing when Scar set her up on a date with Martyn, but taking the chance to talk to him instead of walking out
Cleo genuinely wanting Martyn in her alliance
Martyn and Cleo giggling constantly when they chat
Scar asking if Martyn wanted him to play a romantic music disc for him and Cleo (and Martyn getting excited and saying yes)
Martyn offering to take Cleo's armor and weapons to the deep dark so he can enchant them and bring them back while she stays safe
Cleo gifting Martyn diamonds, expecting nothing in return but not wanting him to die from lack of a good sword
Martyn and Cleo forming a secret alliance that allows Cleo to live with Scott while being on good terms with Martyn
Martyn expressing frustration that Cleo wants to keep this alliance secret because he wants them to be public allies; Cleo softly shushes him when people approach and might overhear
Martyn telling Cleo that she's putting out a lot of mixed signals because she keeps reeling him in and then pushing him away, claiming he is very confused about where he stands with her
Martyn teasing Cleo by punching her off a cliff and accidentally killing her and feeling so bad about it that he apologizes profusely despite roleplaying as someone who refused to apologize for Session 1
Martyn and Cleo immediately threatening Bdubs together when he said hi to them while they were hanging out, sdkfj
Martyn genuinely apologizing to Pearl for dumping her after Session 1
Martyn hiding under Cleo's bed while she defends him from an enderman attack
Cleo offering to let Martyn move into her house after Etho and Joel grief his base; Martyn saying he might take her up on that
Cleo and Martyn agreeing to move out and base together at Box
Cleo trusting Martyn with the location and resources of her red life base
Martyn rushing to Cleo's aid in the deep dark and trying to turn everyone against him instead
Cleo responding to Martyn's panicked shouts for her to eat by opening her inventory to get food (and drowning because she forgot she was in water)
Cleo hanging back and letting Martyn attack Scott while she does nothing to stop him from doing so, implying as much as she likes Scott, she won't kill Martyn (and herself) for him (and/or she trusted Scott to handle himself even though he ran away while Martyn was shooting at him)
Things that did not happen:
Cleo unwilling to forgive Martyn or consider being his friend and partner
Martyn and Cleo hating each other
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk
#Listen. listen. I understand. but consider... them#Zombiewood#ZombieCleo#Martyn InTheLittleWood#Limited Life canon: Cleo making Martyn godfather to her kids#I 100% support everyone taking their own interpretations from the episodes-#but I often see ''Martyn and Cleo hate each other'' and I wonder ''Did we even watch the same thing?''#and with so many POVs that only see them from the outside perhaps we did not!! So consider... them. Let's rotate them <3#This post is about the sheer amount of 'Martyn dumps Cleo for Ren' fics tagged Martyn/Cleo vs. minimal affectionate fics. help??#also fics where Martyn/Mumbo was canon but Martyn claims he was never attracted to him- only Ren?? Fascinating.#sir can the whole plot be about that because hold up I feel like we should unpack your loveless marriage before you date Ren#I will 100% read a story about you charging into marriage with Mumbo and then going ''Uh I just made a big mistake.'' hilarious#I mean I'm not Ren but if my crush confessed he never loved his husband in the first place I feel like I'd have Questions#To each their own! And I for one greatly enjoy how much Martyn will chase Cleo without humbling himself. lol. idiot. get wrecked.#but just to be clear I am a huge fan of break-up 'fics and choosing to be with someone you want. ergo my interest in Grian/BigB#This post is about Martyn/Cleo and Grian/BigB being fandom rarepairs despite having canon interest in each other#which is 100% fine because everyone should write what they want but!! Come rotate them with me because they are so fun and silly#Grian the man who deliberately cuts comments about Grian/Scar and Martyn/Mumbo from his vids but pursues BigB?? hilarious#In-universe this man went from ''Romance? I do not see it'' to ''Actually I want the cute cookie man'' and took the leap??#Yes king tell me more about this journey of self-discovery. I am aspec-beam'ing you.#Anyway. Need more Martyn/Cleo in my life which is why I'm writing fics of that and other people write fics about what they like <3#but sometimes people don't like it when I pair Martyn and Cleo because ''They hate each other'' and I laugh sfdlkj
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yeah unfortunately i am afab, assigned ferrari at birth
#as a catholic i do enjoy the cult of ferrari#forza ferrari always babey!!!#like give me people to worship and best believe i will worship them#they gave leclerc a sick ass nickname and treat him like a prince and then expected me to not worship???#'il predestinato' yeah im already kneeling#showing up to the italian grand prix with my hair covered like this is mass#you don't even understand!!!#and now my husband lewis is moving there??? ooh it's over for me#f1#scuderia ferrari#charles leclerc#lewis hamilton
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