#that's literally due tonight
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fascinating how shows will let villains have scars and even feature those scars prominently on screen
but when their protagonists have injuries and/or medical procedures that would normally leave them with scarring, once that plot point is over there are no scars to be found
weird coincidence... couldn't possibly be ableism /s
#to be clear the reason absolutely is ableism#and this isn't even touching on the fact that there is a whole typology of 'good character scars'#vs 'evil character scars' in hollywood#in the rare instances where protagonists/heroes are allowed to have scarring#this is nothing new i am just still thinking about this after the last ep of lone star#where 👏 is 👏 tk's 👏 bullet wound scar#tbd#these are just ramblings#lsv#other shows too ofc this is just what i'm thinking about#someone force me to stop procrastinating with lone star and do my work#that's literally due tonight
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yeah I get it group projects in uni are necessary for teamwork etc etc whatever but it's kind of insane how I have been the one carrying my group this entire project and am now getting offloaded the time intensive part of doing a narration recording of a slideshow presentation. like I can straight up get a 0% on this part and still pass the class with an A. yall need this more than me WHY DO I NEED TO DO IT
#personal#unnecessary rant but like yeah#literally a STATISTICS CLASS too#I HATE YOU ALL#its due TONIGHT too#IM TRYING TO DRAW NESS EARTHBOUND!!!!
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Now that I really think about it, I wonder how much of my adoration of the “big scary guy finds and adopts small child” trope is trauma, and how much of it is unga bunga monkey brain going “oh, he treats these children wonderfully. He’d make a wonderful father”
Hm.
#especially when I’m on or due for my period#which surprise surprise I am#I’m not kidding watching shepherd interact with Tommy in cos has literally stemmed the thought#’oh no wonder he (meaning Andy) is a dad’ before I do a double take on myself and mentally bonk myself in the head#I think it also doesn’t help that there’s baby hype happening in my family irl rn bc my cousins baby should be arriving either tonight#or tomorrow. so my hormonal monkey brain is currently going ‘oh well SHE is having a baby so we need to get in the mentality to have a baby#as well’ as I am actively bleeding from my uterus for not presently being pregnant#oop anyway#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#gideon coal#edge of midnight#yorgrim#curse of strahdanya#silas shepherd morgan#also yes this train of thought has also occurred for mace#tho only specifically when watching eom#with how Yorgrim interacted with that one girl I forget the name of
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I hate everything
#I have a paper and a presentation due tonight and I haven’t even started yet#I couldn’t even use the time I had yesterday to start it#I just laid there in dread like I didn’t even play games or anything I literally just wasted time#and I’m supposed to get to campus tomorrow at 8:30??? bro#I best I can do is like 8:50-9 like what the fuck#everything is hard to keep up with and I’m losing my mind#how do people get time to do shit much less focus on it to get it done#my brain just can’t like ????? I can’t do this anymore#watch that consultation on Thursday be like “lmao no you don’t have adhd” then how do I explain this#am I just lazy? is it because I don’t give a shit? you already doubted that I could have it simply from me having good grades#what the fuck is your criteria for this…or am I just gaslighting myself because I don’t have it and I’m making up excuses#my posts
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i’m just exhausted. like all the time. and everything is piling up. ahaha
#i literally can’t catch a break#i had to clock out early today because i’m just so tired and i can’t even relax because i have to study for an exam tonight#had one this morning and have another on friday and i have a report due tomorrow and on tuesday#it’s just one thing after another if not all at the same time
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meltdown averted by chicken and mustard sandwich
#I am so ready to switch out... I'm fucking exhausted and overwhelmed#also I forgot 🤡 wednesday is shower day so I have to do that tonight too!#so much to do and so few spoons and hours left in the day#I guess word processing homework takes priority over math since that's due tomorrow and math is due friday?#augh I hope school me remembered to make sure we could access the necessary files via remote desktop#that wouldn't be good if not because I will literally not be able to do these assignments without them. again.
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Pilot Parallels
Dezanitized - After being gone for decades, the Warners escape from the water tower as people run from them:
Suspended Animation Part 1 - After being gone for decades, the Warners return to the water tower as people run towards them:
#animaniacs#animaniacs 1993#animaniacs 2020#animaniacs reboot#yakko wakko and dot#the warner siblings#newsreel of the stars#de-zanitized#suspended animation#I like how in the og show the warners go from being feared by the public due to their zaniness to becoming pretty popular due to their show#to the point that fans are literally chasing them and giving them piles of fan letters by season 3#they even sing “In our toon careers these are the golden years!” in “At the Big Wrap Party Tonight"#and by HfNH no WB staff or visitors flee as they traverse the lot people either smile at them or join their musical number#so I like that episode 1 of the reboot acknowledges that their popularity has grown even if they're still often treated as outcasts#also for the record “episode 1” of a show is not always the “pilot” and vice-versa I just wanted an alliterative title
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And I know the angels tonight are as lost for words
As I am to merely behold you as we lie down together
Drag me under again
Deep in to your love
#good morning tumblr this is the mood for today 🥺#Drag Me Under my favourite most specialest girl#if i get super in my feels today just ignore it guys. i think i'm due a nice cry 👍#we're watching ftrb tonight for sure#imagine being loved like this. the GODS?? will ABANDON ?? THE HEAVENS ??? *just* to find US???#like damn. saying “i love you” pales in comparison to whatever this is#say what you want but Vessel was definitely going through it when he wrote Sundowning. people just don't talk like that for no reason#like. fuck man. that guy is literally made out of music and love and warm sunlight. i'm-#🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#drag me under honey no one gets you like i do babygirl 💙#someone hold my poor soluble heart cus it's being dissolved in tears 🥺💔#drag me under#drag me under mention#sleep token#darya's mixtape#Spotify
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the 2010 film Centurion is deeply frustrating to me because it desperately wants to be about the Varian Disaster, every single beat in this movie would fit near-perfectly for the Varian Disaster, you could relocate this film temporally and geographically to Germania and not change literally anything except some of the names, and yet because Hollywood considers Britannia way sexier and more exotic than Germania it is set in Britain. this movie should be about the Varian Disaster! in every way but geographically including the drawback of the frontiers this movie is about the Varian Disaster! and yet. it is not about the Varian Disaster.
(the movie itself is fine. like, it's Agricola slander and Tacitus is rolling over in his grave, but my tolerance for historical inaccuracy is pretty high these days. don't go out of your way to watch it, but like, it's fine. if I had a nickel for every time Olga Kurylenko has played a Roman-hating British woman warrior I'd have two nickels, which is not a lot but it's weird it's happened twice etc.)
#hollywood desperately wants to do the varian disaster and they desperately want to do spartacus#but they don't ACTUALLY want to do the varian disaster and the true story of spartacus is depressing#which is why we keep getting stuff like this and gladiator (which wants to be spartacus)#not remakes of film spartacus but actual historical spartacus#minus the mass crucifixions#hollywood likes the whole 'rise up against roman imperialism!' thing but the problem is that historically none of that actually worked out#except the varian disaster. which they don't want to do because germania isn't sexy#bedlam watches movies#(I am going to watch boudica: queen of war but tomorrow because I can't do another one of these tonight)#I'd like to see hollywood tackle the fact that the roman army was the most powerful military technology that the world had ever seen#for a good few centuries. the problem is that that does not actually make a good story from a modern point of view due to. you know.#imperialism being bad.#(look I am a roman historian and MY WHOLE DEAL is roman imperialism. it wasn't great! I'm under no illusions here!)#I think that LITERALLY the only point you can actually pull that off for a modern 21st century audience#is the second punic war. which by the way would make an incredible television show.#(partially because rome's on her back foot through the whole war)#I think you could maybe do it for the year of the four emperors#but that has more complications due to like. the three other revolts rome had going on besides the civil war.#but the year of the four emperors would also make an incredible television series.#(I am BEGGING HBO to bring back rome as an anthology series. they won't do it but I'm begging.)#(I want to see jared harris play vespasian)
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sleep doesnt exist but i animated a fish even more so life is okay
#my older brother complained that it was too choppy and i needed to make it 24 fps#i nearly killed him#guys my sleep is so fucked#like i go to bed at 8 pm and then sleep terribly only to wake up at 5:45 am#i genuinely cannot fall asleep at 8 ive been trying to for like 2 weeks now#but every morning i have to wake up before six so i dont miss the bus#i have no free time anymore#i have an assignment due on saturday night#but im booked all day tomorrow and all night tonight#im literally so tired all of the time#three pigeons in a trench coat
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just made the worst PowerPoint of my life and i’m going to turn it in for five million points
#lie - it’s actually just not done yet#but i also don’t feel like doing it - this is my issue#it isn’t due until next Sunday but i also need it done today for Personal Reasons#so we are Vibing i suppose#my geography final is done and i should probably just turn it in#but Also i don’t trust my professor to not be a HUGE freak and grade it right away#and i do NOT need that kind of stress rn#i’ll probably turn it in right before i leave for the concert tonight#bc I’ll be so stressed i won’t give a shit#but in the meantime there are other finals to finish#which like UGHHHHHHHHHHHH#but also they’re all literally almost done and i have plenty of time - I just have to Do It#and i will#but first: Lunch.
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#tyler joseph really knew what he was saying when he said “no one kills a man faster than his own head” huh#my least favorite place in the world is my own head#and tonight i'm stuck in it due to stupid reasons on my part#for clarity i am and will be fine#the interim just sucks and is annoying#but i've been here before and know it'll pass#i know how to deal with it now#but that involves riding the wave unfortunately#so yeah tyler nailed that one#no i don't care to talk about it#that won't help in this case#i just need to get through it and accept things and do better#and eventually my asshat of a brain will shut up and i can move on about my night#i guess i should be thankful it's been this long since i last was in my head like this#What makes this all worse is it's literally because of my own actions I'm in my head#So in the end it is my fault#Anyway after spiraling for 2+hrs I'm coming out of it
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you know what i was thinking about.
like.
to me it feels like kaeya grew up to become what diluc needed. he had already been thrown away by his father once, and now, in this new home, he tried to make himself as useful and irreplaceable as possible. a confidant, friend, brother. but once he realized he was just playing a part, just as his father sent him to do? once he told diluc, knowing how it would end between them?
i feel like the kaeya we see in-game is largely grappling with that realization. honestly, he’s flirtatious and aloof but it constantly feels like a front. he no longer has to be diluc’s second half and shadow. but then, what’s left is a man fighting for a country that he feels was never really his to begin with. it still feels like he still has himself convinced that he’s just playing a role and deceiving those around him.
#kaeya is SO#i feel like he’s so underanalyzed fr#or grossly mischaracterized one way or another lol#i mean#he IS manipulative but#it reminds me a lot of ayato’s manipulation#there’s always a ‘good’ reason#but it always leaves you feeling like you’ve been played#anyway i literally have something due tonight i’m just stalling LMAO
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made myself a mediocre breakfast sandwich and took my meds and now i am going tf back to sleep (not that i’ve been able to sleep at all) until this afternoon because i am exhausted and have a looong evening of work ahead of me
i hope that all of y’all have a wonderful day 💕
#⟡ — kayleigh’s yapping#i can never sleep like at all at my irl bestie’s house unfortunately but i gotta watch her furbabies#hopefully the puppies aren’t as poopy as i expect that they are 🥲🤞🏻#anywayyys i am going to attempt to sleep some more because i desperately need it if i am gonna get through my shift tonight 🫠#i got four (4) dogs to walk unfortunately and 5 groups of puppies to clean up after ughhh#like okay. i adore my job. but now when i am exhausted and running on hardly any sleep 😭#it’s okay the two groups of the oldest puppies hopefully will have done what they did yesterday ie: go outside to potty via their doggy door#which means that i don’t have to mop up their shit (literally) 😂#our next mom is here and is due by the 21st which is totally fine tbqh#the oldest group of puppies should be gone to their forever homes soon ✨
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Actually now that I think about it, maybe I will return anything serious to the library and just reread Dolphin Diaries
#anyone else remember dolphin diaries? it was a scholastic series about this girl whose family lived on a boat and studied dolphins#i was as much of a Dolphin Girl as a Unicorn Girl growing up#my brain is in triage mode#literally all of tonight ive been bouncing between activities and making random plans and goals#just to try and get SOME positive vibes going#this is dumb but i follow a lot of artists/podcasters in LA and im really concerned about all of them#kind of parasocial i know but like. i care about these people whose art i watch and read and listen to!#ANYWAY. im due for a reread since my last non-library book was off the tbr list sooooo dolphin? diaries?#or maybe inkheart? lloyd alexander? madeline l'engle??
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#teeth.txt#i feel like i keep having astonishingly boring birthdays due to like. extenuating circumstances#mostly finals week#last year was my hardest finals week i had ever had all localized like basically on my birthday#this year i don't have finals but my partner does and he's Literally Graduating#and i remember what that was like for me 6 months ago (could not think about anything else literally at all let alone plan anything)#and also tonight and tomorrow i have to do mutual aid stuff#thinking about going out tomorrow though. we'll see#anyways it's not bad bc i don't care that much about having a big celebration or whatever#(as evidenced by the fact that i didn't plan anything for myself lol)#and i think this is just what birthdays are like sometimes#however. next year..... next year will be epic#friday birthday. no school/finals. hopefully will still have local friends. maybe the ability to throw a house party of some sort.#much 2 consider
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