#that's how 90% of my process looks like
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speedpaint (with a few...... side tracks)
hopefully this helps in answering the questions i got about rendering
>finished art here<
#i was considering leaving out that random fyodor comic interlude but#i feel like it's more realistic if i leave it in#that's how 90% of my process looks like#no i dont have adhd#also bonus points for spotting that quick nana doodle there#ok tags#iztea draws#art process#speedpaint#drawing timelapse#timelapse#painting process#bsd#bsd chuuya#chuuya bsd#fem chuuya#bungou stray dogs fanart#bsd fanart#bungou stray dogs#character design
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Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow
hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.
like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.
anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better
#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control#as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem#but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine#i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR#i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be#-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that#ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind
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oh im gonna hsdgfjk
okay so three+ months ago i discovered I had a Fun Condition called perioral dermatitis. basically, just this Extraordinarily persistent face rash that looks like a bunch of small pustules in a circle around my mouth, but it also went around my nose and eyes. reacts to literally fucking Everything, deeply annoying to treat, even with antibiotics it takes weeks but usually months to clear. causes are ?? can be anything from inhaled steroids, face cream, toothpaste, hormones, etc. basically impossible to pinpoint. i have some guesses about what triggered it but ofc no real way to know for sure.
i go on 90 days of antibiotics. cool, whatever, condition dissipates but doesn't go away entirely. i think nothing of this bc I know even With oral antibiotics, it can still take months.
halfway through this treatment i develop arthritic symptoms. i also think nothing of this bc I have Some sort of illness undiagnosed anyway + family members have it so while I am definitely not happy w this development, I'm resigned.
i finish the pills.
less than 24 hours later, dermatitis has Returned. i know that allowing this to happen makes it worse and last longer. i cannot stress enough how bad it will be for my mental health if this happens. yes this probably sounds overly dramatic but I'm pretty sure watching my face flare up in any way is a legitimate trigger atp after dealing with cystic acne.
anyway. i book an appointment with my gp bc the pharmacist cannot refill the antibiotics. great except the appointment is at the End Of The Month, and I know this is going to be bad in a few days time. like, in the last few hours the inflammation has already accelerated, who knows how bad it'll be then, I'm assuming it'll be like I never even took the pills to start with. i am going to have a nervous breakdown.
mysteriously, the arthritis symptoms have Also started to decrease after stopping the antibiotics. that's weird, I think, that wasn't brought up in the list of side effects when I asked, but the timing is literally exactly when my face started flaring up so I know I definitely don't have those in my system anymore. i look this up, to see if there's a link.
'''acute polyarthritis''' also described as 'drug-induced lupus' are you Fucking Kidding Me
so i am now back as Square Fucking one for this shit, my skin is about to be so goddamn inflamed & I apparently can't even take the drug that was working to clear it up. because it causes inflammation in my joints.
and like i cant really express properly how mad this makes me lmfao because of Course. i spend a solid year on Accutane finally after being deterred for nearly a decade, i get maybe 4 months of enjoying my skin after I'm off of it and then This Shit. can i win?? can i Fucking win??????? no one else in my genepool seems to deal with this shit its just me and ohhh my god i am This close to walking straight into the ocean.
#the frustration is actually getting to me.#like. holy fucking christ.#and for what??? for WHAT.#i havent even been really going out or wearing makeup At All bc its the internship semester so !!! there was No Fucking Reason for my skin#to react to ANYTHING in the first place#its so shallow i feel so stupid but like I've actually cried multiple times over this#n o t h i n g i do works. every treatment every attempt it doesnt matter#it TANKS how i feel about myself. i cant help it.#and like idk what to do!!!!#looks like im gonna try to see a derm again but that's always a multi-month waiting process.#the thought of still looking like this when I graduate is so so upsetting. i want Pictures I want to look good. please?? fucking please???#thats several months away now but the timeline for curing this is so slow and that's assuming your treatment works anyway.#90 days of an antibiotic Should have done it idk whats wrong with me#anyway fgfhjh i Am going to cry now lmao I hate this.
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literally said 'God Damn!!!' out loud at that selfie you are soo pretty
thank u very much im glad i could push you to blasphemy
#& thanks as well to every other nice comment that was left on this post mwah mwah mwa#honestly i strongly believe that 90% of how cute i look on this selfie was caused by some stuff getting blurred out in the process#and 9% extra by my hair hiding most my face anyway#my brow ridge's massive and the corners of my jaw are nasty ive been feeling not too great about all that lately#i appreciate peopl online thinkin im pretty in the pictures i present them sorry if i sound like a douche about it#it's just i don't know if they really are a good representation of reality it feels like a lucky strike idk idk#i have massive self loathing issues i have not even begun trying to fix yet man idunno.#ill go listen to more car seat headrest & midwest emo bullshit surely that ll help#god i wish i could write music i wish i could make songs.#how do words work. how do people just use those#shevr
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Okay fine yes I did look up Slurpee lore
Turns out, there were slushees in the UK as far back as the 1980s, but they were called Slush Puppies. Slurpees are the American name for them - which was (seemingly) branded by the chain store 7/11.
#So I'm sorry marrissey dating sim writer but I'm gonna have to dock you 5 points#how am i supposed to enjoy someone's marrissey fic if it's so historially inaccurate* yes i had to fix the grammar in my own tag#(Im joking omg)#(But if you ever want to know what 90% of my fic writing process looks like)#(It's googling random shit like this)#(I actually had to google 'spinny dial on old telephones' like 2 days ago)#(....apparently those things are called rotary dials)#(Who knew!)
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So, I'm trans. And several years ago, I was at my great grandfather's funeral. 17, newly on T, barely out to anyone other than my close friends and family. And I'm standing there at the refreshment's table, surrounded by strangers and members of my family's church, when George walks up to me.
This man is ancient, bent like a finger and frail. Tufts of white hair surround his wrinkled face. Like always, he's wearing thick glasses, massive hearing aids, and his veteran's hat. George was my first introduction to the concept of war, when he told me as a child why he was missing two fingers on his hand. He's been a fixture at church since I can remember. I've only ever seen him at there or in uniform at parades, the rest of his time spent in a nursing home somewhere. He picks up a deviled egg and says, in his quiet voice,
"You know, before your grandfather died, he told me that now he had 3 grandsons."
I'm frozen in place. I don't know what to say to that, if I should say anything at all. This is not a conversation I expected to have, especially not with this man. But he continues.
"I didn't know what he meant! So he explained it to me."
And I can imagine it. My great grandfather, uninformed and opinionated but supportive, explaining to his friend the news he barely understood himself over after-service coffee and cookies. His eldest grandchild was now a boy.
"And, you know, I didn't know what to think."
Here, George looks me up and down. This 90-something year old war veteran, who knew me mostly as the little girl playing in the church kitchen with his wife, processing what my great grandfather had really meant. It feels like a long pause, even thought it probably passed in a second.
"But you look good. So, eh!"
And then he smiled, shrugged, and walked away without another word. If I was fine, if I was happier, then that's all that mattered.
George passed away this week, at the age of 99. This memory has been bouncing around in my head for a while, but I wasn't sure if or how I should share it. It was a conversation that meant very little, but also meant the world. It was scary, and funny, and the moment when I realized that sometimes the people you least expect will accept you. Sometimes, even if they don't fully understand, even if they barely know you, someone will choose to support you. And that will always matter.
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i really wanted roxy to have silly bandz but they werent invented until 2006.
#roxy.... afton. to be clear. roxy my oc. roxanne maxwell as a kid. roxy michaels daughter. roxy.#im stubbornly giving them to her anyway. just one or 2. they bother her wrists (cough cough projecting.)#why i did i write one or two like that. just 1 or two. weird.#being a fnaf fan is so annoying bc i WANT my characters to look dated and cool and awesome but i did not live in the 70s 80s 90s#00s even. like i was 5 in 2010 yknow. so its just like a lot of work for what still seems like. a bad result?#i think i dressed them fine (i guess. i put my efforts in into william and clara and got BORED)#but like. god. even setting the 'present day' in 2009 presents these issues bc like.... well things were different i just cant reallly#process how. its not old enough#simons spouting#simons fnaf au
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ME, rubbing my hands ALL over my Adv+02 Chosen head-canons BECAUSE I CAN: Wow I can't believe people like me with my specific background existed in the early 2000's and in the year '02 THIS ENTIRE TIME!!!
#koushirouizumi chatter#koushirouizumi txt#koushirouizumi advs#koushirouizumi adv#koushirouizumi 02#donorchildren have always existed#yes even since the year '02#fuck you#im gonna say it forever#you cannot erase my history#no matter how hard you keep trying#good luck trying to erase donorchildren from existence its never gonna work!!!!#this has been a vent#(I have half a mind to drop the resources ive been saving for years to prove my point on this)#(but weve literally been around since like even before the '70s)#(You dont GET to tell me I cant include donor children head canons in post02 AUs '''because you dont exist in that future''' or WHATEVER)#({Literal Actual Sentiments Ive Seen Being Expressed If Indirectly Recently})#(Makin this post to rb to main later because im Tired)#(THE ONLY REASON I havent dropped those resources yet is because theyre things MY OWN BIO PARENT WAS Researching)#({BECAUSE THEY HAD BEEN LOOKING INTO THE PROCESS EVEN BEFORE THE 90s})#(and its actually really interesting and cool sh*t that Id love to share with people BUT haha . Real Names In)#(Im still trying to look for alternative sources from the same time period but mAN Id love it if ppl here could just LEAVE US THE EFF ALONE
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I've had coarse hair like. Under my chin for a while now, but now I'm actually starting to get it on my chin. Even though it's just a little spot, I'm super hyped about it. I haven't even started transitioning yet, I already have a head start :)
#cj rambles#not nsft#too lazy to log onto my other blog lmao#i told my dad ab it. partially bc im excited partially to test him and he said 'there you go' and seemed happy :)#and mom smiled but didn't really say anything. which okay. not the worst response to have tbh#idk its just. really sinking in that this is actually gonna happen. its not gonna be some daydream or some fantasy its gonna be reality#when im feeling down i look at my arms. all the hair on them. and im reminded of what i *could* be#dying for it. hopefully ill get it this year. worried about doctors being shitty and its also texas#but god dammit this is the ONE thing im sure about. not 80% not even 90%. but 110%. *this* is who i am#and no one can take that from me :)#ftm#transmasc#its already been half a year since i came out to my parents and theyve been pretty good about it#have yet to tell other family members but i think im just gonna start the process and *then* let them know. bc i dont need their permission#and now im actually super excited for the future like oh my god what am i gonna look like?#how long will it take my voice to drop? will my hair get curly like other dudes? i sure HOPE it does!!!!#is my mustache gonna be red like my facial hair? or light brown like my eyebrows? its thin and invisibly blonde right now.#and bottom growth. super fucking hyped for that.#idk i think im actually gonna make it#im just gonna be some guy. not a self destructive nightmare. not killing myself with drugs.#like damn i found the medicine i need. t's not gonna fix all my problems but it'll make them feel worth solving#idk im just so fucking hyped. bc now i KNOW its gonna happen. its fucking going to bc i said so.
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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.
I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.
And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!
We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.
There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.
Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.
Except...
I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.
I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.
The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.
Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".
There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.
And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.
His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.
I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.
That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.
I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.
Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.
Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.
If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.
It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.
I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.
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BETTER EYES PROJECT
So. Why is it "better"? Not because one day I woke up thinking that I was painting the best eyes in the world, ha-ha. This is because any texture drawn for this mesh will look better in the game than the texture drawn for the base game due to the creation technology. That's all. I don't declare my designs the best or anything.
A little bit about how I came up with the idea of creating this project. I've been upset for a long time because the eyes in the game look much worse than in the original because of the way the game compresses the texture. And I decided to improve it the way I can!
Does not slow down the functioning of the game. Do not conflict with anything. But the heterochromia option, as always, conflicts with bracelets.
All items are available in the "details" categories, so you don't have to choose it separately for each outfit.
EYES N1 and EYES N1 HETEROCHROMIA
made with new technology!
4 types of every file (TEEN-ELDERS, CHILDREN, TODDLERS, INFANTS);
70 colors;
"game emotions" friendly sclera.
EYES N2 and EYES N2 HETEROCHROMIA
made with new technology!
4 types of every file (TEEN-ELDERS, CHILDREN, TODDLERS, INFANTS);
80 colors;
"game emotions" friendly sclera.
EYES N3 and EYES N3 HETEROCHROMIA
made with new technology!
4 types of every file (TEEN-ELDERS, CHILDREN, TODDLERS, INFANTS);
105 colors;
"game emotions" friendly sclera.
EYES N4 and EYES N4 HETEROCHROMIA
made with new technology!
4 types of every file (TEEN-ELDERS, CHILDREN, TODDLERS, INFANTS);
90 colors;
"game emotions" friendly sclera.
DARK SCLERA and DARK SCLERA FOR HETEROCHROMIA
5 swatches;
works only with eyes from "BETTER EYES PROJECT";
for all genders and all ages.
WHITE SCLERA and WHITE SCLERA FOR HETEROCHROMIA
15 swatches;
works only with eyes from "BETTER EYES PROJECT";
for all genders and all ages.
EYE SHADOW and EYE SHADOW FOR HETEROCHROMIA
10 swatches;
works only with eyes from "BETTER EYES PROJECT";
can be combined with sclera;
for all genders and all ages.
❌ DO NOT: re-upload my CC, claim my CC as your own, use as a base/part for your CC!
✅ In my game I use BETTER IN-GAME LIGHTING MOD v1.1 and GENTLE CAS LIGHTING MOD!
MORE INFO AND DOWNLOAD
Any likes and reblogs is honestly appreciated! 🩷
Thank you for supporting the development process!
#sims 4 cc#s4cc#ts4cc#s4cc maxis match#s4 maxis match#sims 4 maxis cc#ts4 mm cc#s4 mm cc#s4mm#ts4 genetics#ts4cc female#ts4cc male#ts4mm#s4cc finds#s4ccfinds#cc finds
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“Communicate” is almost entirely meaningless advice 90% of the time so here’s a few slightly more specific but still pretty general ideas:
You might be making assumptions you don’t realize you’re making about what another party knows, remembers, or understands. Saying “obvious” things helps clear some of these up. Of course even while making an effort to do this you still might not notice things you’re assuming go without saying; don’t beat yourself up when you discover one of these, discovering it means you’re improving! It’s like playing Zelda: the more you uncover the more you get a sense for where and how to look for things. (Disclaimer: I’ve never played Zelda.)
You can take breaks. I’m thinking of personal relationships here but there’s probably a way to apply a similar concept to other relationships. You can say talking more is too much right now, that you’re tired, that you need to process, that you won’t be at your best if you keep going. One thing that can be really great in a personal relationship is asking if the other person is up for hitting pause and doing something you enjoy together for a while (they might not be up for it, be prepared). You can also hit pause and take some time to yourself.
Communication isn’t just for problems! Tell people when you like and appreciate what they’re doing!
Okay this one is probably as useless or at least almost as “communicate” but: contextualize but don’t over-contextualize. I have made people think something is a bigger or more urgent deal than it is by not starting with “overall this is fine/I like X/whatever” and I have had people entirely mentally reverse my point because I spent longer on the disclaimer than the point.
Anyway. Communication is an actual set of skills that you don’t just magically improve by hearing that “communication is key” often enough. It doesn’t just take effort it also takes learning, trial and error, examples! And best practices for communication vary among people, cultures, specific relationships, etc. This has been Pet Peeves With Tuesday.
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Recently I ran across an article about an art center that was doing creative expression classes for people with disabilities. Not that unusual, I've encountered that and trauma-oriented art therapy before, but it was the first time I'd come across the idea since getting diagnosed with ADHD. While the class was aimed more at high-needs disabilities, it occurred to me that I could -- if I wanted -- make non-prose art about being disabled.
Outside of my work in scene design I've never been much of a visual artist because I've never felt I had the combination of "something to say" and "a meaningful way to say it", but I started to question how meaningful and complex I really had to be to just make some statements about having ADHD. I can do it in prose, after all.
So I started thinking about how you would talk, in visual language, about things like time blindness, shame stemming from undiagnosed disability, the shift in behavior that medication can induce. Ways to express my condition to people who don't experience it. I still didn't really know how to build the pieces but whenever I went to an art museum I'd think about how I might do a gallery installation. The centerpiece of my mental gallery was a pair of barcodes, one marked "Neurotypical" and one marked "Neurodivergent".
[ID: An interior view of a small booklet, with pages marked 1 and 2, showing barcodes -- on the left, labeled Neurotypical, and on the right, in slightly weirder configuration, labeled Neurodivergent.]
And then I thought, why not make a zine? Nothing you're thinking of couldn't be put in zine form instead of on a gallery wall.
[ID: The booklet continues to pages 3 and 4; on page 3 is a postage-style label reading AUTISM with up arrows on either side, and on page 4 is a QR code labeled ADHD. The QR code technically should work but it just dumps a block of text I wrote about having ADHD into a browser.]
I grew up with zine culture in the 90s and I always wanted to make one but much like with visual art, I never felt like I had the right kind of thing to say; either I had too much to say or too little, and anyway I wasn't confident that what I wanted to do wouldn't just come off as trite and obvious. But you can make a six-page zine out of a single sheet of paper, so I did: I made Helpful Labels For Strange Brains by idab zines, a division of Extribulum Press. (i--dab is a term for a cuneiform tablet that contains a royal communication.)
[ID: The last two pages feature the same image -- a cereal bowl with a spoon in it, the spoon containing a single Adderall pill. One image, however, is captioned "Wake up. Pour yourself a cup of iced coffee. Fix a bowl of cereal. It's going to be a good day." while the other is covered in a detailed ADHD-style step-by-step process for the same actions, culminating in "It's going to be a day like that."]
I'm pretty pleased with how it came out -- the art all looks intentional and it still has that "taped this together after school" aesthetic I remember fondly from the 90s. And the confines of six pages, each only a few inches square, offers a good structure to keep things clear, simple, and meaningful.
[ID: The cover of the zine, labeled "Helpful Labels For Strange Brains" in a kind of esoteric stampy font.]
Especially nice is that if you wanted to you could just hand out the flat sheet, and let folks fold it into a booklet or not -- there's instructions for folding it on the back of the zine. Additionally I have some sticker backed printer paper so I could print it such that you could literally turn the labels into real labels.
Anyway if you want it, here ya go. You can print it on a single sheet of paper and follow the instructions on the back to fold it. I thought about selling it but I do not have the spoons to do a bunch of printing and folding and shipping.
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Cherry Bomb - tattoo parlor au anthology
MDNI | Poly 141 x Fem Fat Reader | masterlist
Part 1: New Girl
You stare up at the sign reading ONE - FOUR - ONE in old English font. It’s an old building, all brick and stuffed in between several others. The windows have a thin, semi-opaque cover them to let in the light without allowing you to see inside.
You make your way to the front door, trying the handle and feeling stupid the moment you do. Your eyes connect with a small intercom beside you and you press it. There’s a small buzz, then silence.
A few beats go by, you debate pressing it again. You don’t want to be too insistent.
“Hello?” A voice comes through just before you reach up to press again.
“I, uh…” You stutter. Despite having many, many tattoos you somehow still feel like a poser every time you enter a new studio. “I have an appointment at one? With John?”
The man on the other side confirms your name before buzzing you in, the door letting out a loud click before you step inside. It both makes you more nervous and more relaxed - you can appreciate a closed storefront like that. Especially for something often as private as tattoos and piercings, but it still feels like you’re doing something wrong. Just a little bit.
The front room is lovely, though. The texture over the glass bathes the front room in a calm, iridescent light. There are a few waiting chairs, a low, black table piled high with books of flash. The front of the high counter is covered with posters and stickers from events going all the way back to the 90s.
The pretty man behind the counter repeats your name absently, obviously thinking about other things. Probably the half-finished design that sits abandoned on the iPad next to the appointment book he’s staring down at. You just nod in agreement.
“I’ll let John know you’re here.” He nods back, turning and pushing through a pair of saloon style doors to disappear down the hall. You take the time he’s gone to look around, flipping through yet another small book of designs on top of the counter. They’re good. Unique. Very gothic and interestingly detailed. Somehow both fine and bold simultaneously.
“Afternoon.” You jump, snapping the book shut and looking up to meet a pair of soft blue eyes and an easy smile. He looks you over briefly before extending his hand. “John Price.”
You murmur your name quietly, trying very hard to not stare at the incredible traditional work patched into a sleeve up his strong arm. Damn.
He leads you back to his work station - past a piercing studio and across from another room with the door shut and an IN SESSION sign on the door. The dull, buzzing sound of a tattoo machine drifts through.
“Now,” John says as he cuts down the extra paper around the stencil. “Just remember if you don’t like the placement we can move it. No problem.”
“Okay.” You nod, appreciative that he mentioned it. Sometimes these older men in the industry are gruff and have an attitude if you do anything less than treat them as if they are anything other than Absolutely Right and Perfect. Not that John came off that way. There’s a softness in his affect that relaxes your muscles and leaves you breathing easy.
“I know y’have several but I’m still going t’do a line and then see how you feel.” He murmurs, voice low.
It’s sweet, the way he’s walking you through it all despite the piece being small and you obviously having done with process several times. The sting of the needle is as expected and you murmur that it was fine before he really gets to work.
“Just let me know if y’need a break…” He mumbles, voice dipping even lower as he concentrates on his work. In any other situation that rumble would probably have you squirming in your seat. There’s a silence for a while before he speaks again, almost as if he forgot you were there. “This design have any significance?”
“I just wanted to get a new tattoo in my new hometown.” You snort - now at the point where most of your tattoos fall under the ‘because it’s cool’ category. “Probably stupid, seeing as I don’t have a job yet but… I don’t know. Feels like good luck.”
John grins. “Well then, thanks f’lettin’ me be your good luck charm.”
Your face heats at the rumble in his voice - glancing away nervously.
There’s another lapse of silence while he works, the only words exchanged are when he asks if you need a break and you decline. Eventually, toward the end you think, he asks another question. “What brought y’here then? If not a job?”
You would shrug, but you try to keep as still as possible while he works. “Just needed a change. Found an apartment easy enough - now I just need a way to make money.”
He hums in agreement. “What do you have experience in? Been around here a while - might be able to recommend somethin’.”
“Oh! Thank you!” You brighten up. “Receptionist work, mostly. Some admin assistant stuff.”
He pauses, cocking an eyebrow. “Y’know, we’re hirin’ right now.”
“Yeah?” You tilt your head. “I don’t have, like, a resume with me.”
“You’ve got enough tattoos I’m assumin’ you know how the industry works. My apprentice is going to start actually tattooin’ soon, an’ I hate t’ have him still pickin up extra duties at the front.” He sits back, carefully smoothing saniderm onto your arm before turning and reaching for the ink-stained sketchbook behind him. “Tell y’what, you write down a few references for me and your number. If they’ve got good things t’ say we can do a trial period.”
You blink at him. He’s awful forward, and insistent, but you suppose it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. A temp job is better than no job. “Alright…”
Just like that, you gained employment by way of making a stupid financial decision.
John’s an incredible boss. He pays fairly (generously, but you know better than to accidentally negotiate your pay down). He gives you plenty of hours and trains you well - with the help of his apprentice. He doesn’t get annoyed when you ask questions, seeming content with your determination to do your job to the best of your abilities. The shop goes by appointment only - no walk ins and potential customers have to call to book. John keeps things old fashioned like that. All pen and paper and cash transactions. An ATM sits in the waiting area. The most complicated part of your job is changing out the cash box in it, and that only take a few days to learn. Not that you mind, it’s sort of refreshing to not deal with some fuckass new and “improved” register and appointment system.
Turns out part of the reason they operate in such a way (other than preference) is because John is a big name in the tattoo world. You hadn’t realized until he pointed out a couple of your flash tattoos were from his best-selling book of designs.
“Wait, you’re famous!?” You gasp, staring wide eyed at the old binder of newspaper clippings and book sales. ‘My Mum Wasn’t Impressed At First - Now Even She Has One’ reads the title of one of the older clippings - yellowed with age. John lacks his signature beard in the photo. It almost looks wrong.
John chuckles, crossing his arms and leaning back in his rolling chair. “You could say that. You really didn’t know about our shop before you booked?”
You shake your head. “Nah, I just saw y’all get recommended on Reddit.”
He barks out a laugh at that. It’s a low, pleased sound that sends a shiver down your spine. His beard only emphasizes the apples of his cheeks as he smiles. Yeah, that’s the other thing, having a hot boss is kind of fire.
Plus, he’s not the only one. The whole studio is full of hunks.
Kyle is easily the prettiest man you’ve ever seen. Like, run for Miss Universe pretty. Big doe eyes with a little scar on his cheekbone - small golden hoops glitter from both his earlobes. They frame his face so well, creating a perfect diamond from them to his sparkling eyes to his pretty smile; curled and genuine with perfect teeth. He walks you through the booking process step by step, that first day, a warm hand on your back and the other tracing down the columns of the physical appointment book.
His work is as beautiful as he is. At least, the ones done on fake skin. John hasn’t let him tattoo anyone for real yet - but his practice sketches are immaculate. At least to a layman. Kyle himself never seems quite satisfied with them. He gets such vivid color, though.
“Tattooing darker skin is an art form in and of itself.” He murmurs as he works on a piece of very dark fake skin. “I want people like me t’ be able t’ get exactly what they want, with just as much color as they want.”
You nod along, sipping at your coffee from across the street that you’ve taken up stopping at every day before work. Kyle has so much passion for the industry. The look he gets in his eyes while talking about it or designing a new piece makes your heart flutter.
Simon, the other resident artist, you’re the least familiar with. You can’t quite decide how to feel about him, or decipher how he feels about you. John introduced you a couple days after you started, but all you got was a perfunctory nod and a ‘good luck’. You couldn’t help but feel starstruck, despite his blunt nature. Both thick arms covered in full, detailed sleeves. High quality, ornate black work. A man of stature - six feet and some change with a breadth that a barn would envy. Pretty, blonde hair cropped just short of turning to curls and dark eyes that bore through you to the very core.
Sometimes, when he comes to ask about his next appointment, you let yourself indulge in the fantasy that he stands close because he likes you. That his knee briefly knocks against yours because he wants to touch you - not that you’re crazy enough to believe it. Just crazy enough to be a tiny bit delusional for the fun of it.
You meet their resident piercer on the weekend. Apparently, he’d been away visiting family your first week.
He leans up over the counter, grinning at you from ear to ear. A well-built man only a few inches shorter than the others with a perfectly groomed mohawk. “Well, hello there. Aren’t you a bonnie little thing?”
You frown, hackles raising instinctually. “Uh, can I help you?”
“Och, they dinnae tell ye about me yet? I’m hurt.” He pouts, thick brows emphasizing the puppy like nature of his blue eyes.
“Let her be, Soap.” Kyle sighs heavily, walking to his area of the front with a fresh sketchbook.
“Soap?” You repeat.
“Aye. Cause apparently I need my mouth washed out.” He pokes his tongue out, only to reveal a silver piercing. He holds a hand over the counter. “Johnny MacTavish.”
Johnny is the most egregious man you have ever met - always touching you in one way or another when he checks in about appointments and so on. His Scottish brogue rings in your ears, every word loud and confident. A hand finds it’s way around your waist, a finger poking under the band of whatever bottoms you wear that day. At any other job, you would have considered it harassment and tore him a new one.
Johnny’s different, though. If you shrug him off he steps away, if you flinch he pulls back. Plus, he does it to everyone else just as much as you. More, if you’re honest. If Simon is within arms reach they’re touching. You noticed Johnny pushing a hand under his shirt at one point, grabbing at the soft layer over Simon’s abs. (A great view for you, frankly.) Hell, you saw him casually hold Kyle’s hand while they were talking over lunch. Even John isn’t immune to the clinging. You don’t think much of it. Body modding attracts all sorts of people. If Johnny’s just a touchy guy then he’s just touchy. Besides, you don’t mind that much when he slips an arm around your waist or hooks his chin on your shoulder to talk to you. Warm breath tracing the shell of your ear with a quiet ‘bonnie lass’ punctuating ever other sentence. A slight pinch to your hip before he trots away to set up his station.
You feel nauseous when your trial month ends. John sits you down across from him in the back office. A practical space with not much more in it than a desk, computer and the large safe. None of you spend much time back here outside of counting down the cash and dragging the trash bags through the back door to the dumpster.
“Think you’ve done really well, dove.” He grins. You try to ignore the way the pet name looks warmth in your lower belly. “You’ve picked up quickly, you’re good on the phone. Kyle’s been very happy about the extra time to practice.”
You let out the biggest, most relieved sigh of your life, shoulders slumping slightly.
“You don’t seem to mind Johnny, but if he gets to be too much let me or Simon know, yeah? He means well but he can be… well, you know.” John says absently as he reaches for something across the desk. “How are you feelin’?”
You nod. “I, uh, feel good. I like this position a lot. Everyone’s been very welcoming.”
John nods along. “Good, good. I see no reason to not hire you on full time. Here.”
You hold put your hands as John drops a small, silver key into them. Holy shit! You get your own key! Up until now they’d been buzzing you in, but they’re trusting you with your very own key!
John must see the excitement on your face because he chuckles and extends a hand. “Welcome aboard, kid.”
A/N: I was very wine drunk writing most of this and it has next to no editing but I hope you enjoyed it! I just want something I can write that’s episodic and not as serious/brain heavy as Fancy or Across the Way
#poly 141 x reader#poly 141#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#captain john price#john soap mctavish x reader#soap x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz x reader#captain john price x reader#john price x reader#price x reader#fem reader#plus size reader#fat reader#anthology#tattoo au
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How I save time on backgrounds as a full-time webcomic artist
Hi! I make webcomics for a living, and I have to be able to draw a panel extremely fast to keep up with my deadlines. I draw about 50 panels a week, which gives me about 45 minutes per panel if I want any semblance of a healthy work-life balance.
Most webtoon artists save time on backgrounds by using 3d models, which works for them and is great! but personally I hate working in 3d... I went to school for it for a year and hated it so much I completely changed career paths and vowed never to do it again! So, this is how I save time without using any 3d, for those of you out there who don't like it either!
This tactic has also saved me money (3d models are expensive) and it has helped me converting my comic from scroll format into page format for print, because I have much more art to work with than what's actually in the panels. (I'll touch on this later)
So, first, I make my backgrounds huge. my default starting size is 10,000 x 10,000 pixels. My panels are 2,500 pixels wide, so my backgrounds are 4x that, minimum. Because of this, I make them less detailed than I could or that you might expect so it doesn't look weird against my character art when I shrink portions of it down.
I personally find it much easier to add in detail than to make "removing" details look natural at smaller sizes, but you might have different preferences than I do.
I also make sure to keep all of my elements on separate layers so that I can easily remove or replace them, I can move them to simulate different camera angles more easily, and it's simple to adjust the lighting to imply different times of day.
Then I can go ahead and copy/paste them into my episodes. I move the background around until it feels like it's properly fitting how I want.
Once I've done that in every panel, I'll go back through the episode and clean up anything that looks weird, and add in solid blacks (for my art style) Here's a quick before and after of what that looks like!
This makes 90% of my backgrounds take me just a few hours. This is my tactic when I'm working in an environment that an entire scene, or multiple scenes, will take place.
But many panels will inevitably have a location that's used exactly once, and it would waste time and effort to draw a massive background for those. So in 10% of cases, I just draw the single panel background in the episode. I save all of these, just in case I can re-use it later (this happens more often with outdoor locations, but I save them all nonetheless!)
I generally have to draw about 2 big backgrounds per episode, and 3-5 single-panel backgrounds per episode! At the beginning of an arc/book the number is higher, but as the series is continuing and I'm building up an asset library of indoor and outdoor elements to re-use for the book, the number generally goes down and I save more time.
My series involves time travel and mysteries, so there's a lot of new locations in it and we're constantly moving around. If I were working on a series that was more consistent in this aspect, this process would save me even more time!
Like I said earlier, this also saves me a lot of pain and gives me a lot more options as I'm converting from scroll format to print format!
panels that look like this in scroll format...
can look like this in print!
because I drew the background like this, so I didn't need to go through the additional effort to add in the extra detail to expand it outwards at all.
Anyways, I hope this helps someone! As always if it doesn't help, just go ahead and disregard. This is what I do and what works for me, and I feel like I only ever see time-saving tips for comics that involve 3d models and workflows, which don't work for me at all! I know there's more people like me out there, so this is for you!
Enjoy!
Also obligatory "my webcomic" if you want to see this in action or check it out!
#webcomic tips#webcomic making#comic tips#comic tutorial#art tutorial#art tips#time and time again#my ocs#digital art#ttawebcomic#hmmmm....#longpost#yeah it's a long post#I'll claim this one#lots of images#I hope this helps#I'm always worried when I make some kind of guide or tutorial people are gonna get mad at me lmao#I'm not saying 3d models are bad to use!!!#I just dont like them!#my brain doesnt work like that and it feels SO so so so tedious to me#TO ME PERSONALLY!!!#plenty of people see 3d models as a total lifesaver#and that's perfectly fine!#but yeah I don't see tutorials about saving time in comics that like... dont... mention 3d models...#like what about me and the other extremely particular girlies who hate 3d#anyways#yeah#just hoping this helps#nothing against 3d at all#I mean. ok personally yes against it cause it sucks for me to use
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Do you just do a ton of, like, scouring buy/sell groups, online marketplaces (ebay? craigslist? FB marketplace?), and online or in-person antique shops?
I'm in the process of buying a house and know I have, like, no furnishings for when/if I manage to pull that off. I really love the idea of reusing older furniture (both for sustainability reasons and because anything "new" in my budget would be, like, prefab stuff that's usually more on the minimalism-side aesthetic-wise), but outside of what's listed above, I'm not even sure to how to start! (Also totally fine if you prefer to keep how you find stuff secret, thanks for reading either way. :) )
Yeah it's like 90% just Facebook marketplace. I have luck at thrift stores for decor items but not furniture, and antique stores are mostly not in the budget. Just start trawling Facebook!
And let people know that you're moving and are looking for furniture. They might not have your style, but if it's free it'll give you something to use while you look for the right thing.
Edit: it's also worth investing in moving gear. Ratchet straps, work gloves, furniture sliders, dollies, scooters, moving blankets, a shoulder dolly, etc. If you're disassembling furniture, always bring a zip lock bag to put screws and stuff in so you don't lose them.
Oh yard sales! Also good. They just don't happen in the winter where I am.
#my aunt lives near an auction house in ky that does auctions of aazon returns#she gets INCREDIBLE deals
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