#that's because if i do well enough at c-level i want to switch to u-level for grade 12 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

undertalethingems · 4 years ago

Text

Bark at the Moon Chapter 19: Darker Yet Darker

Or read on my Ao3>

Rating, Setting: Gen, Pre-canon

Chapter Warnings: None?

Chapter Summary: If Alphys is going to help the brothers overcome their inability to shift forms, she needs more information. Information that lies in the grim, long-abandoned sections of the lab she never knew about. The lab where the brothers were made.

Alphys breathed. In, and out. She meshed her fingers together, then snapped them outwards with a crackle. She picked up a hammer, a blowtorch, and lowered the welding visor over her eyes.

It was time to 'hack' into the abandoned labs.

Of all the floors listed on the elevator, all but two seemed to be operational--the entry floor, and the lowest, where she'd conducted her experiments. She'd wondered about the others, of course, but had never been able to verify that they existed. As far as she could tell, they'd been dummied out, so to speak--placeholders in the elevator's control panel that weren't actually connected to anything.

Thanks to a couple of skeletons, she knew that wasn't true. There were whole sections of her facility that had been sealed off, and who was she, as a scientist, if she didn't investigate? This was supposed to be her lab, what if there was important equipment to salvage? Not to mention the implications it might have for her friends. So she'd gathered her tools and her courage, turned off most of the elevator's safeties to keep its doors open, and began lowering it manually so there'd be no bypassing whatever floors lay between. Slowly sinking downwards, her heart leapt when a door finally rose into view in the dim light--but she quickly got to work.

The blowtorch hissed and sparked, and a clang announced it had done its work. Alphys shut it off and switched to the hammer, using it to knock the doors loose and slowly pry her way through. She could really use Undyne's muscles right now... Her strong, broad shoulders... those powerful biceps covered in glimmering scales... No! She could dream later. There were people counting on her. She wedged herself in the half-open door, braced herself against the other, and pushed with her leg. It grated open, and finally, she set foot on a floor it seemed no one had used for decades.

The landing was nondescript, lit by the weak emergency lighting she was familiar with. Even so, she exchanged the welding mask for a headlamp and flicked it on, illuminating the rest of the hall down to a doorway. She took a deep breath--and tried not to choke on the stale air. Even the ventilation system seemed to have been cut off here... She'd have to be careful. Gripping her hammer, she shuffled forward into the gloom.

A greyish-white mass erupted from the wall. Alphys shrieked, backpedaling so fast she tripped over her own tail. She landed on her back and rolled, scrambling on all fours for the elevator--and then she stopped. She recognized that electronic buzzing...

She turned, looking over her shoulder. "M-m... Memoryheads?"

The mass screeched, coalescing into a more familiar appearance, and Alphys turned over and sat as she tried to catch her breath. What were they doing here...?

"U-um, hi... you know you can leave the lab now, i-if you wanted," she said, slowly recovering from her nerves. "S-sorry I yelled, by the way, you just startled me. It's... k-kind of spooky down here, huh?"

The memoryheads buzzed like an old computer's disk drive.

"W-well, maybe not to you, ha ha... U-um... I sure hope you're the only thing lurking down here! I-I... I'm going to keep going now, okay?"

She got to her feet, brushed off her coat, and picked up her scattered tools before proceeding back down the hallway. She passed the memoryheads, and looked back to see they'd begun following her a few feet behind. What Undyne had shared about them popped into her head, and she had to wonder... Maybe they could help her.

"H-hey! So, I... I didn't make you, did I? You weren't part of my experiment."

A harsh grating sound emanated from the amalgamate. Oh, that's right--Alphys dug into her pocket for her phone. The speaker crackled with static, and she listened.

"NEGATIVE RESULT."

"O-Oh, that means, no, right?"

"That is correct."

"O-oh... Oh man... so my hypothesis... C... Can you... show me where you were made?"

"One moment, please."

The memoryheads phased through the floor.

"H-hey! I can't do that!" Alphys spluttered, then sighed. She should have known... the memoryheads were the more enigmatic of her charges... and they weren't even hers! What had she gotten into...?

"You may join us now," the phone suddenly crackled, and she jumped.

"Wh-where? What floor? What number?"

"666666666666666666666666666666666666--"

She shut the phone off, ending the harsh screech. Was there even a sixth floor? She turned back for the elevator once more--though she definitely wanted to check out all the abandoned labs had to offer, she had a priority. Back inside, she checked the panel--and there was indeed a sixth level. She'd head there, and could only hope the memoryheads actually had something for her.

A bang, clang, and scrape, and Alphys forced another set of doors open. The air here was even stuffier--a lingering chemical trace intermingled with decaying tile and carpet. She coughed, and hoped the air coming down the elevator shaft would be enough until she got the ventilation working. She'd take it slow until then.

"O-okay, I'm on the sixth floor, Memoryheads," she spoke into the phone, and static rose on the line.

"Come join the fun." "Come join the fun." "Come join the fun."

She sighed. They were helping, in their limited way. There was nothing for it but to venture into the dark, and see what she'd find. She shuffled forward, feet padding along warped linoleum--the first monster to tread these halls in years.

No.

Alphys' breath caught in her throat. There, in the dust--there were footprints. She swallowed hard, and followed them. The hall opened into a room, and she passed by rows of deteriorating machines. She could only guess at their purpose--all rotten rubber tubing, peeling paint, and oxidizing metal. Generators, perhaps. The footprints passed them by, and so did she. Another hall lead to another room, this one lined with all kinds of monitoring equipment, their paneling and readouts coated with years of dust and stained by a burst pipe. But nothing here seemed to have a means of storing information--there wasn't much to be gleaned here. So she continued on.

She finally came to a room that looked like a laboratory, with workbenches and cabinets on one side--and a pair of operating tables on the other. There was also some kind of device on the floor--it had been shattered by an incredible force. The footprints seemed to stop by it before moving on.

The next room made Alphys gasp--and not because the air was thin. It was U-shaped, and tall cisterns lined the walls, nearly reaching the vaulted ceiling. The memoryheads waited here.

"Th... This is...?"

"It's a real get together," the memoryheads stated, apparently confirming her unfinished thought.

Alphys hurried over to examine the nearest tank, pouring over its construction. The craftsmanship, the expert tooling! What she wouldn't give for a set of blueprints or schematics or--a chill suddenly ran down her spine. No. This wasn't anything to get excited about.

She looked back up at the cracked glass walls of the tank before her. This was where the brothers had been... made. They'd both come from one of these--not sparked from a parent's soul like any other monster. If Gaster had stopped there, he might have been alright, but then he'd...

She turned back to the memoryheads. "C-can you show me... Do you know where the brothers lived down here? Sans and Papyrus?"

"Invalid statement. Please try again."

"Oh, you don't know... O-okay, I can figure it out. Thank you for leading me here."

"Our pleasure."

She nodded to them, and headed back the way she'd come. It seemed the owner of the footprints had done the same--but then had seemed to stagger... and then the trail vanished...? Weird...

Wait. Alphys squinted, and found a clear print. She placed her own foot beside it to compare. It was just a little smaller, left by rounded footwear... These were Sans' footprints. She should have known...! She sighed. What had Sans been looking for down here...? In any case, his trail went cold. Alphys only had her own guidance to go on now.

There was another doorway opposite of the tank room, so she headed for it--and thanked her luck as rows of ancient computers greeted her. Finally! This was what she'd been hoping for. She headed for the nearest one, and booted it up--or, tried to. It briefly wheezed to life, only to die, and she swore under her breath as she dove under the desk to open it up. These were built into the floor?! Oh come on... Maybe she could remove the hard drives and take them back to her lab for analysis. She pried the side panel open and took a look--well, that was unusual.

And bad.

The main drives had melted together somehow, the plastic and metal a bubbled mess. She swore under her breath again, and reached in to see what her magic could tell her. The spark of magical electricity raced out, laying the computer's wiring bare in her mind's eye. It was the skill that had made her such a mechanical genius, and as she sensed the magic's ebb and flow, she sighed. She'd salvaged many a broken machine others had written off, but the chances of getting anything more than parts out of this were slim. She squeezed back out from under the desk, and surveyed the room. There were at least a dozen more... She had to hope she could get something out of those. She dusted herself off, moved to the next station, and got to work.

Three hours later, and Alphys had pulled as many drives from the remaining computers. She didn't have high hopes for these either, but they'd seemingly suffered the least damage from whatever event had fried an entire room of computers. She suspected the events leading to Gaster's disappearance might have been it... but that didn't help her now. She put the drives in her tool satchel, took one last look around the room, then headed back for the elevator.

The memoryheads burst from the floor again, and Alphys shrieked.

"G-guys! I know I sh-should be used to that by now, but please--"

The amalgamates buzzed, and she pulled out her phone to listen.

"Right this way."

"O-oh, you know of... more stuff?"

"CORRECT."

"Okay. Um, lead the way then."

Alphys shuffled after the memoryheads as they flit down the hall and into the elevator. She gave them a quizzical look--and jumped as the elevator started without any input--any visible input, at least. It rose to the next floor up, and Alphys dug for her tools, expecting another round of cutting her way in. But the doors dinged and opened smoothly onto a wide landing, and she watched the amalgamate glide out. But she shook her head and followed.

The hallway opened into a larger room, with windows along one side and a door to another hallway that continued on straight. Of chief interest to her was the large computer terminal set into the wall, but there was also a monitor near the windows, and she could just make out another placed in the hallway. If nothing else, this looked promising.

She padded over to the terminal, then blinked and turned back to the memoryheads. "Hey, u-um... thank you."

"DON'T MENTION IT." "You're welcome" "be seeing you."

They phased out, leaving Alphys alone in the abandoned lab once more. She took a deep breath, and turned back to the main terminal. This looked more advanced than the computers she'd already raided, and she hoped it had been better shielded from damage. She gathered her nerves, and turned it on. It flickered--and command-line text spurted across the screen. Alphys grinned, cracked her knuckles, and got to work. Alphys dug into the files, many of which, though corrupted, still held tantalizing fragments of data.

"O-okay, this said something about behavioral sources, and that other file mentioned cross-referencing a natural history encyclopedia with the behaviors observed in a study group... A study group of what though...?" Alphys muttered to herself as she wrote her own notes on what she'd pieced together. She'd copied down a few tables of measurements, and found parameters for the tubes she'd seen in the other rooms. But there was still more to comb through, and amid the gibberish of corrupted text more complete phrases stood out, forming a log of observations.

"...UBJECT REQUIRES FOOD. UNFORTUNATE. I WAS HOPING IT WOU..."

"...BEAM OUTPUT UNDER EXPECTED PERFORMANCE. SUBJECT CONTINUES TO EXHIB... URTHER TESTING REQUIRED..."

"...SUBJECT EXHIBITS UNUSUAL BEHAVIO... NGE OUTSIDE PREDICTED... NOT FOLLOWING MY INTENDED..."

"Y-yeah, of course they didn't, you jerk," Alphys muttered to herself as she continued to scroll through the files and copy whatever had survived. She already didn't like Gaster very much, but these files were doing nothing for his reputation. She found a proposed recipe for whatever he'd used to feed the brothers and grimaced. "Just plain food-grade magic and a few basic vitamins...? Really? That would have no flavor... No wonder Sans loves fast food and Papyrus can't cook... Oh, this log looks pretty complete! Let's see what it says..."

"I HAVE NOW CONFIRMED IT... BOTH SUBJECTS EXHIBIT TROUBLING ABILITY. PHENOTYPE EXPRESSION IS VARIABLE... SEEMINGLY AT WILL. MORE TESTING WILL BE NEEDED TO DETERMINE IF THIS COULD BE... PREVENTED IN SOME WAY. FOR NOW, UNDESIRABLE ATTRIBUTES WILL BE MITIGATED."

Alphys shuddered. "M-mitigated... I guess that's a nice way of saying he made them be what he wanted... ugh. Well... there's another entry, so..."

"PHENOTYPE ISSUES PERSIST. NO PROGRESS MADE ON SUPPRESSING THE ABILITY. IT APPEARS TO BE A FUNCTION OF THEIR... DESIGN FLAW."

Alphys stared at the words before her. "Design flaw... what does he... wait.... Does he mean their souls?!"

Disgusted, she pushed away from the terminal and paced. Suggesting a soul was a flaw... she couldn't understand it, couldn't comprehend the callousness this log boasted. She bristled, and static crackled across her scales--oh, the last time she'd been this angry it had been watching Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2! But as angry as she was, she needed to keep looking. She needed whatever information this place still held. She took a few more deep breaths, ran her hands over her face, and returned to the computer to keep digging.

As it so often did, the time flew as she worked. She only realized how long she'd spent browsing and recovering files when her stomach growled, signaling it was well into the night and she'd forgotten to eat. She sighed, and rubbed at weary eyes... She'd collected so much, but there was still more, dozens of files she hadn't gotten to. She'd have to come back and keep looking at this--at least she knew where it was now. And all she'd read was enough to start formulating a hypothesis.

She shut the computer down and gathered her things, then shuffled over to the windows to have a look before she headed up. She couldn't make out much in the dim light, but the room beyond seemed... huge. She looked around and... oh! There was a light switch here. She pressed it, and overhead lighting clicked on, revealing the room beyond. It was huge--perhaps twice the size of the main floor upstairs, if not bigger. The walls were stained--but had clearly once been a stark, sterile white. Was this where the brothers had been... tested?

Alphys pursed her lips, and backed away. The lights had also been turned on in the hallway, showing more rooms. She wasn't sure she wanted to, but... she was curious. She shuffled on, and came to the first door. It was reinforced, and she could only just see through the window if she stood on her toes. More stark walls, though the room was much smaller--then she realized it was subdivided, with a thick window and another reinforced door splitting the room...

A pit grew in her stomach. This... had to be...

She wouldn't have believed anyone could keep a fellow monster like this. But, considering what she'd just read she wasn't surprised Gaster had only provided the bare essential to the brothers. She glanced up at the monitor set into the wall nearby. If it was anything like the ones she'd used herself... She waved her hand in front of it.

"HOLDING ROOM 1. CONTENTS: UNOCCUPIED."

"A-ah..." she uttered, and shuffled to the next. It was identical to the first.

"HOLDING ROOM 2. CONTENTS: UNOCCUPIED."

She supposed it was better they were empty... but she wanted to see them all. The third room was slightly different--it was a bit larger, and had a raised shelf on one side. If she squinted, she could just make out what seemed to be a ragged scrap of fabric laid on top of it. Was that... supposed to be a bed? Maybe this was where the brothers really lived... At least it had more space than the holding rooms, but there was nothing to make it any more comfortable. It was just bare, featureless metal walls. She grimaced, and activated the nearby monitor.

"ENCLOSURE 1: SUBJECT 1. WARNING: DO NOT APPROACH. SUBJECT IS KNOWN TO BE DANGEROUS. DO NOT PERMIT INTERACTION WITH SUBJECT 2. EXPERIMENT CONCLUSION: FAILURE."

Alphys shuddered, then turned to the next room. It was similarly barren.

"ENCLOSURE 2: SUBJECT 2. WARNING: DO NOT APPROACH. SUBJECT IS KNOWN TO ESCAPE, MAY BE DANGEROUS. DO NOT PERMIT INTERACTION WITH SUBJECT 1. EXPERIMENT CONCLUSION: FAILURE."

Alphys clenched her fists. Her friends weren't failures... they were incredible for holding together for so long, getting through so much, and then doing nice things for her and trusting her to help them. They had survived all of--this. Her goal was clearer than ever--but she was too tired to work on it now. She turned her back on the abandoned lab and headed for the elevator.

Reaching the fresh air of the main floor was a relief. As tempted as she was to immediately plug the hard drives she'd collected into her computer and start recovering them, she opted to fix some instant noodles and catch up on the Undernet instead. It had been a long day... she'd get back to work tomorrow, after she'd had some time to recharge.

The drives she'd recovered from the lab were plugged into her main computer as she heated up breakfast, and she sipped at a mug of coffee as she poked at them virtually. If she could coax more information out of them, it'd bolster her suspicions. To say the code structure was archaic was... an understatement. But, it meant the password protection was easily bypassed with a few tricks--she was better at actual hacking than the 'hacking' she'd done to get into the abandoned lab floors, and in moments she'd begun browsing whatever files remained. There were plenty to choose from, many of which seemed to relate to details of the Core and other technological projects. But none seemed to relate to the brothers' origins, and after thoroughly checking the rest of the available files, she moved to the next drive.

It seemed these computers hadn't been used for anything relating to the brothers, however. Barring any damage or corruption, each drive contained essentially the same files. Alphys' best guess was that that room of computers had been used by everyone in the lab... and perhaps not everyone was allowed access to the files detailing Gaster's little project. She sighed, setting the old disks aside. She'd have to go back to that main computer after all, see what else she could get, and collect her own data to compare. And that would mean calling the brothers in for some tests.

"O-okay, just, hold still please!" Alphys said, trying to steady her own hands as Papyrus fidgeted.

"Are all of these really necessary?" he griped. "They're making me, itchy, I think."

"I n-need them so I can properly read your magic! Th-these sensors are the only way to tell what's going on with it, and they won't work if I don't get them placed just right," Alphys explained.

"think of it like one of your puzzles bro," Sans suggested helpfully from where he half-dozed nearby. "do it in the wrong order and ya gotta start over, right?"

Papyrus sighed. "I suppose. Very well!"

He finally sat perfectly still, allowing Alphys to place the rest of the sensors.

"Okay! There! That's it for that--now I need to make sure they work, and then we can get, um, some data. You guys ready?"

"Finally! We're doing real science!"

"instead of being the science done," Sans joked--was it a joke? Alphys hoped so as she flicked the electro-magical field reader on.

"Okay, just like we did for S-Sans, I'm going to need you to hold still and wait for a minute so we can get a baseline," she explained.

"Of course! I was paying attention!" Papyrus huffed. "I'm just excited! To think, after all this time, we might find out why... I'm tall, and Sans isn't!"

"well, that's one possibility," Sans said, and Alphys couldn't help but laugh.

"I sure hope we find out more than that. O-okay, just a little bit longer, and...!" She watched the timer count up to one minute, then cut the data collection off. "Okay, now, I'm going to start it again, but I'd like for you to cast a few attacks. I-it can be any pattern or bullet type, you just have to keep it up for thirty seconds!"

"A simple task for someone as great as me! I'm ready!"

"Target's over there--aaand go!"

Papyrus obliged, sending a flurry of bones at the dummy Undyne had loaned them for the day. He started with a basic array, then quickly built up to a complex pattern before finishing with a blast from his own jaws. Alphys gave him a smile as she cut the reading off.

"Okay, that was great! Sans, are you sure you can't give me at least a couple attacks to compare...?"

"Yeah, come on, Sans! Your patterns may not be as good as mine, but you don't want to mess up Alphys' data, do you? I know you can do it!" Papyrus encouraged, and his brother gave a drawn-out sigh as he got up and trudged over.

"alright, alright. i'll throw you a bone."

"Sans! You better throw more than one! You have to fill thirty seconds of data!"

"geez, don't remind me."

Alphys finished disconnecting the wires that had linked Papyrus to her machine, and reconnected the lines that were still attached to Sans from his first round of tests. "Okay, everything should be hooked back up. Are you ready?"

"as i'll ever be."

"And... go!"

Sans immediately opened with a pair of blasters before tearing into the dummy with a bone maze, then sent alternating blue and white bones at it before summoning another round of blasters. As she watched, Alphys wondered if they would have a training dummy to return to Undyne by the time this was through. She gave the signal for him to stop, and he flopped to the tile floor panting.

"Sans, you showoff! Alphys, I want to do mine again, I can do better than my troll of a brother," Papyrus said, indignant. Despite his breathlessness, Sans chuckled from the floor.

"U-uh, well, maybe later--I only needed to see you guys using your attacks, it didn't really matter how, um, flashy they were," she replied, holding up her hands. "That should be good enough for now. Th... There's one other thing I wish I could test, b-but, I think I can just use the old... the old data I was able to recover for that."

"I thought the point of this was to collect brand new, un-possibly-corrupted data?" Papyrus said, fiddling with one of the wires trailing from his skull.

"W-well, yeah, but... I can't ask you guys to do it, not when you guys have worked so hard to..." Alphys fidgeted. "I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything you don't want to, and I can't imagine you'd want to do, um, this potential round of testing... so, f-forget it! It's fine."

"you wanna know what our magic's doing when we slip," Sans surmised, pushing up into a sitting position. "isolating those patterns might tell us how to turn 'em off... that's what you're thinking, right?"

Alphys sighed. "Y-yeah... but... I know how hard it is for you guys to break out of it. And... I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to. I... I saw where he kept you. I... I read at least... some of what he did to you... And I don't want this to be anything like what you went through down there."

The brothers exchanged looks. After a moment, Sans sighed. "we want to get this figured out as much as anyone. if that means... letting go... well, with any luck it'll be worth the trouble, right? plus, i'll have you guys to pull me out of it."

"Oh no you don't Sans, you are not sacrificing yourself! I mean, it's very selfless of you, but! You also have the worst time with it. So I volunteer!"

"no way papyrus, i'm not letting you do that to yourself. i'll feel better knowing you're looking out for me."

"And! You'll be looking out for me! It's fair either way!"

"no, you're not doing it. end of story bro."

"Guys," Alphys interrupted, "we don't have to do it! I shouldn't have even mentioned it, ugh."

Papyrus turned to her. "Doctor Alphys, if this is going to help us figure out how to never do this again, then I think we should. I... I want to know what he did to us."

Alphys looked at his earnest expression, and turned to Sans. "Is... Is that how you feel too?"

Sans closed his eyes and rubbed his face with a claw. "... yeah. everything we've tried... it hasn't worked. i have no idea how we figured it out as kids. so... anything that might help us get this over with... we gotta try all our options, right?"

"O-okay... If you guys are sure... then, I'll take care of my side of things. If you need a few days to decide who's going t-to... do the tests, or if we're doing them at all, that's fine. I can analyze what we collected today in the meantime."

"I think that may be best!" Papyrus replied, and Sans nodded. "You'll hear from us soon enough! You can count on it!"

"J-just, take care, okay?" Alphys said as she hurried to help remove the sensors from the brothers' skulls. "I d-don't want you guys to get hurt because of me..."

Papyrus turned to pat her head. "Don't worry about us, Doctor Alphys! We've gotten through far worse! And! This time! It's on our terms!"

She bid them farewell, hoping they hadn't all just made a terrible mistake... but she had to trust the brothers. They had gotten through worse, and come out on top every time. They were counting on her to do her job--so she ought to do it. She gathered up the lines from the EM reader, and wheeled it closer to the computer so she could input the data and begin her analysis. She'd compare the brothers' readouts to samples she'd taken of herself, some of the engineers from the Core, and her friends--all to see if anything differed between them. It was bound to be interesting.

The days passed, and even as she continued trawling through the data collected by a cruel man, she realized she was having fun doing science again. Watching the numbers come together, formulating a hypothesis, tweaking variables to monitor the effects... This was so much more up her alley, finding how all the pieces fit together. And as she collected more pieces, she was getting a clearer picture of just what state the brothers' souls were in, and what Gaster's experiment had been meant to achieve.

She just needed was one last piece to confirm her idea and start working on a solution. She could only hope she'd hear from the brothers soon...

Finally, Sans called her one afternoon, sounding especially weary. "heya alph."

"Oh! H-hi, Sans! What's up?"

"i, uh think we're ready."

"... I guess Papyrus won the argument, huh?"

Sans managed a laugh. "yeah. i couldn't stand up to his flawless logic... which was 'go into the woods for a few days to loosen up' before i could get around to it myself."

"Uh. Wow."

"yeah. he's always really on top of things."

"He's... okay, right?"

"oh yeah, my bro's fine. it's just... rough, seeing him like this, y'know?"

"I bet. A-anyway, I'm ready whenever you guys are."

"ok. we'll be right up."

"Okay! I'l be ready!"

Sans hung up, and she scrambled to actually be ready, because whenever Sans said he was about to be somewhere, he was almost always already there. She pulled the EM reader away from the wall, and gathered a bundle of sensors and draped them over the top just as there was a knock at the door. She squinted, because that was an automatic door...

"Come in!" she called, and the door slid open.

"you're supposed to say 'who's there'," Sans replied as he ambled in, Papyrus in tow. "alright, good luck getting him to hold still this time. don't think he's, uh, as far as he could be, but, should be enough for your tests."

Alphys looked from him to Papyrus, who was warily sniffing the floor. She could already tell in how he carried himself and studied the room that he really had fallen back on instincts. Which was what they needed for the test, but... like Sans had said. It was rough seeing him like this.

"O-okay. Papyrus?"

He perked up, and swung his head around, tilting it to one side.

"Um, hi. Can you come over here, please?"

He looked to Sans, who nodded before walking slowly over to the machine. Papyrus followed, and scrutinized the device thoroughly before sitting down and studying her patiently.

"Okay, now, I need you to hold still while I stick these on," she explained, feeling like she was repeating herself--but she wasn't sure Papyrus remembered the last time he'd been here. "Th-they might get a little itchy, but, I need you to let them stay on, okay?"

Papyrus made an uncertain warble as she approached, but Sans gave him a reassuring hoot and laid down. Alphys gave him a look.

"U-um... you're not... slipping too, are you?"

He gave her a weary shrug. "doing my best not to, but... we stick close, y'know?"

Alphys pursed her lips, but continued with her task. Papyrus was surprisingly patient despite his former concern, only fidgeting a little as she pasted the sensors onto his skull and sternum. He tried to scratch at them once--but Sans batted his hand down with a gruff rasp, and though Papyrus shot him an annoyed look, he settled down.

"Okay, they're all hooked up! I'm starting the test now--just, hang in there okay?"

Well before the minute was up, Papyrus got too fidgety again, and risked pulling away from the machine--but before Alphys could scold him, Sans started a game with him. He summoned a small bone just within the reach of Papyrus' neck, and Papyrus snapped at it--missing as Sans pulled it away at the last moment. Papyrus uttered a playful growl, his tail flicking before he lunged at the bone's new spot--and missed again. Sans evaded him a few more times before Papyrus caught the bone in his jaws and it fizzled out of existence. Sans summoned another bone, and the game began anew.

"Alright, that should be enough!" Alphys announced, and the two looked up--though Papyrus took the opportunity to catch the latest bone Sans had been taunting him with. "I think I can work with this--thank you so, so much you guys. I should have more info in a week or two... Are you really going to be okay?"

Sans shrugged. "we're going to undyne's after this, she'll get him to shape up. we'll see ya later, alph."

"O-oh, okay! Tell her I said hi," Alphys said, hoping she wasn't blushing as she peeled the last of the sensors off Papyrus. "With any luck, I'll be able to help you with a different kind of shape."

"heh, good one. ok bro, ready to see undyne?"

Papyrus warbled an affirmative, and with a click, and a blink, they were gone.

Alphys shook her head, and turned to begin analyzing her results. She still didn't get how Sans did that. Maybe there'd be something in the data.

There certainly was a lot of data to go through. Alphys had been building her hypothesis, but as she got deeper into the numbers, she realized there was more to it. She dug back into the abandoned lab's computers, hacked and reconfigured her way in, and scraped every last bit from the broken registries and hidden backups. She cheered when she found a nearly complete log charting the brothers' growth, only to feel sickened by Gaster's actions yet again as she read the suggestions on how to alter their physiology and diet to get better results--whatever that meant.

"Subject had human-derived willpower substance drawn today..." Alphys read, squinting. "Human derived... willpower substance? What does he mean by..."

A chill seized her. Surely it wasn't the same...? She scrambled back through the readouts she'd taken from the brothers, and cross referenced them. Oh. That would explain... why that part of the wavelengths had looked so odd. She sank back in her chair--it really was the same. Determination... Really, knowing the memoryheads hadn't been her doing, and the blueprints she'd found, she shouldn't be so surprised. Somehow, the brothers were stable--thank god. But, why...? Why add that to... a living weapon? Or a monster? She kept digging, trying to understand the man who'd created life just to use it as a tool.

But before she could make much progress or come to any conclusions, Undyne called her.

"Alphys, are you busy?" she said ugently, and Alphys dropped the stack of papers she'd collected.

"N-no, why?"

"It's Papyrus. We can't get him back."

Alphys froze, heart racing instantly. "...Wh-what? It wasn't too b-bad when he was here--what's going on?"

"It's," she started, frustration clear, "it's like he just keeps sliding, no matter what we do. Sans won't say anything but I can tell he's worried. We thought you might be able to tell us something..."

Alphys gave a shuddering breath. "I... It's too early, I haven't had a chance to analyze everything yet. I-I only have a guess as to why the brothers can change at all, not--not how to help them yet..."

Undyne grunted. "Okay, well, we'll help him as much as we can. Let us know as soon as you find something, okay? Please."

"I-I'm working as fast as I can. Just.. just tell them to hang in there, I should have something soon."

"Okay. Thank you, Alph."

She hung up, and Alphys was left staring ahead at her desk. It... was... probably okay? The brothers had been stuck in their feral states before, and both had snapped out of it eventually. It was the pattern--even if they stayed in the blaster form for a while, they'd get back to their true selves...

A pattern.

The idea seized her. Scrambling through the papers before her, she began compiling all the notes, charts, anything that was relevant. She hoped her hunch was wrong, dread coiled tight in her chest as she began running the numbers.

A week of nearly constant work later, and she had her results in hand.

Alphys stared at it, threw it aside to pace, then came back to it. This couldn't be right. But it explained... too much about the problems they'd had. She couldn't bear the thought of telling them... but she had to, didn't she? They deserved to know. But if she told them, wouldn't they hate her...? No, they might hate her more if she didn't say something, tell them that they...

She had to tell them.

"Th-thanks for coming," she uttered, trying not to let her voice shake as Undyne and the brothers entered her lab again. Papyrus balked at the doorway, and only scuttled in once Sans had plodded into the center of the room, proving it was safe. His gaze darted around his surroundings, and he chittered nervously. Alphys frowned. They really hadn't gotten him back, and today... she'd be telling them why.

"Uh, so, how's it going?" Undyne said, trying to lighten the mood with small talk as they gathered around a fold-out table. "You said you had something for us, right? Not gonna lie, I've been super excited for the results."

Alphys sighed, and Undyne's smile fell.

"Alph... what did you find?"

"I-I," she stammered, "I found... well... I found a lot. Not everything, but, enough to figure some things out. I was able to piece together what Gaster did to make the brothers the way they are, b-but... I also found something... that's... bad. And it has to do with why Papyrus isn't back to being himself... but I didn't find out any way to help you... I'm sorry."

"s'ok. you did your best," Sans said, his head laid on the table and eyes dim. What was happening now had clearly taken its toll.

Undyne grimaced. "Well, it's only been a little bit since you started working, right? Maybe you just haven't found the answer yet. But, I think you should tell us what you did find."

"Maybe," Alphys said, trying not to sound defeated. It was true she'd only had all the data for a little while, but... she wasn't sure it would matter. "I... I want to be more honest about my work, s-so... I'll tell you what I found, even though it's bad news... If... if you don't want to hear it, I don't blame you..."

Sans closed his eyes. "Papyrus... isn't going to understand it. So... you can say whatever."

"We're not gonna be mad or anything just because you did your job," Undyne reassured her. "Tell us what you found out."

Alphys grit her teeth, and turned to Sans. "S-so... I guess I'll start with why you guys are like this to begin with. The beginning's usually a good place to start, right? Ha ha... Anyway... I'll, um, try not to ramble but... I think the gist of it... is that, Gaster tried to make a living... bullet. You know how some monsters can cast attacks that, um, seem like their own entity, right? That sort of construct is uncommon, but not unheard of--but, they're not truly living things, they're attacks the same as any other. It seems like... Gaster wanted to take this idea further, and make attacks that could potentially think for themselves and last outside of battle a long time. All to hunt humans...

"He constructed some extremely advanced attacks--based on what I could find, he figured out their most intricate workings, even how to 'program' them with certain traits or behaviors--ones he learned hunting animals on the surface have. It looks like he spent years refining this technique. But... he still couldn't get them to last outside of battle like he wanted. The way he saw it... the next step was to add a little bit of soul energy. H-he, um, apparently didn't expect... that even a small amount would become a full soul. S-so... the soul formed inside this... programmed attack format.

"It was easiest for the magic to flow along these pre-constructed paths... but the soul... still contained the genetic format for a skeleton monster--a bipedal form with intelligence and skills beyond what Gaster had intended. So... without realizing it... he ended up with a sort of... hybrid, of his specialized attack, and a monster that, um... technically... was his... child."

"Gaster should count himself lucky he's erased, because if I got my hands on him..." Undyne growled, her fists clenched tightly, "he'd WISH he was."

"Y-yeah, seeing all this, I was furious too," Alphys breathed. "He... in what little I read, he just... talked like he was working with animals. M-maybe... he'd convinced himself that's all you were. B-but... so... that's... where your instincts, and ability to transform, come from. It was all him--he, unwittingly, gave your souls this ability by trying to fit them into another form."

"...huh," Sans uttered. "guess that does explain it... why we can do it, and why the instincts only come up when we're like this."

"So is there any way to like... turn it off?" Undyne said. "It's not really a part of them, so maybe--"

"I-it is, though" Alphys said, downcast. "It's as much a part of their soul as, I dunno, bone magic. A-and, turning it off, w-well... Gaster wanted to do the opposite, and take away their other form... He never actually succeeded, obviously, but... that... brings me to the bad news."

"Wh... What do you mean?"

Alphys heaved another sigh. "I didn't think anything of it at first. It just seemed like... like a coincidence, or maybe Gaster just wore you guys down over time, but... You've said it was easier to change back and forth when you were younger, right? And you just... did it less as time went on... B-but... well... with Papyrus being unable to get back from even a relatively mild slip with your guys' help... I got to thinking...

"Maybe... maybe there was actually a pattern to it. Th-that... as time has gone on... it really.... It really is getting harder for you guys to switch back and forth. Like... like the forms get more entrenched as time goes on, a-and, the longer you stay in them. S-so... I plotted all the times it mentioned you guys switching forms on a graph... a-and..."

She slid a pair of papers across the table for Sans and Undyne to study. Each was labeled with their names, and the points on the graphs plotted lines--but they looked more like waves, the crests and troughs of which increased in amplitude as time went on as their frequency decreased. A fainter line projected the waves' path into the future--and it went off the page.

"I-I... I think... W-well, the data suggests, that, if... if we can't get you guys changed back soon... you... you might... slip, and... not... not be able t-to break out of it... e-ever... ever again."

Sans' eyes blinked out. "... papyrus is going to be stuck like this forever?"

Alphys had never heard his voice break like that before. She could barely speak herself, but she couldn't leave things there. "I-I don't know, there's--there's still a chance we can bring him out of this. We just--we can't let it get too far, o-or... A-and I mean, I could be wrong! God, I hope I'm wrong... My d-data is probably pretty incomplete, I don't have much f-from, when you were younger or before all this... B-but, it's... It's a possibility, and, when you called and said you hadn't gotten him out of it, that's when I realized what might be going on, why you might not be able to change back like you did a long time ago... and, I... I'm so sorry..."

Undyne clenched her fists. "I... I really hate Gaster. ALL of this, ALL of your guys' suffering, is because of HIM, and hearing it might not be something you can escape? I WON'T accept that. Alphys, if I can help you, just tell me what to do--I'm NOT letting this guy take my friends away after he's already DEAD."

"we'll still be around," Sans uttered, voice subdued. "just won't be like we used to. i... i dunno what we'll do to live, but... h... hey, just... keep being nice to my bro, ok?"

"Sans, we're not giving up! I can't give up! I WON'T give up! I--" Undyne was interrupted as Papyrus, seeing her upset, had put his head against her arm and nuzzled it. She grimaced, and patted him with a hand as she continued. "I said it before, I'll say it as long as I need to. I won't rest until you guys are back the way you want to be. Alphys hasn't finished her research, so there might still be something we can do. For your brother's sake, don't you DARE slip, or give up, or let go. Okay?"

Sans looked up at her, beleaguered. "dunno... i was never good at fighting the inevitable..."

"Well it's not inevitable yet," Undyne stated firmly. "Alphys, if we get the bros changed back soon, what will happen?"

She thought. "I-it... it should mean it's their other forms--the regular skeleton monster form--that becomes dominant. A-at least, at least on this scale. I didn't plot ahead like... decades, s-so it's possible this doesn't show every outcome... B-but... the sooner we avert the current trend, the better..."

"so... how much time... before we're too far gone?" Sans murmured, and Alphys winced. Despite Undyne's words of encouragement, he was obviously doing pretty badly.

"I can't be sure--it, I think it depends on how much you keep exercising your mind, since that seems to be what's helped you break out of it. I'd... I'd keep trying with Papyrus too. I... I'm with Undyne on this one, I... I don't want to give up, even though it looks really bad... S-so, please... you can't give up, Sans. I know that's really hard for you, b-but... one of the other things I discovered, that I'm still researching is... that... You both have artificially elevated levels of Determination. I... I think that's something else he figured out--how to give Determination to monsters in a safe way. It might be another factor in why you haven't been able to change back, but... It might help keep you going, too."

Sans studied her for a while, then closed his eyes. "i dunno. all this... sounds like there was never anything we could do about it. the moment either of us changed this last time... our fate was sealed. i'm... i'm just so tired. all the work we've done to keep ourselves together... it didn't get us anywhere. i... i'll try to keep it together, for papyrus... i don't want to leave him hanging. but... it's been real hard. and if it's only going to get harder... i don't think i can keep it up for much longer."

Undyne reached over to pat his shoulder. "Look, we'll get through this. You just keep holding on to yourself, I'll help with Papyrus--done that before--and Alphys will keep looking for a solution. Monsters didn't get to where we are today by giving up, so you can't either."

"Yeah Sans, I promise I'll keep looking," Alphys stated--Undyne's will was bolstering her own. "Now that I have an idea of what's going on... maybe I can figure out how to undo it--not, not all the way. Like I said, this... this is a part of your soul. But... if we can figure out how you can change back, then, it should stay dormant for a long, long time. And, that's worth going after."

Sans opened his eyes, their lights returned as he studied them both, then looked to his brother, who had gotten bored and wandered off to bat a piece of crumpled paper across the floor. "i... to be honest? i dunno if i care how we end up. all i want is for papyrus to be happy. but... i guess... if i slip too, i dunno who's gonna take care of him. if i can't hold a job, we can't pay for a house, or good food, or... he couldn't do any of the stuff he really loves. i, uh, remember how it was when we lived in the forest, and... i don't want him living like that ever again. so... i guess i do have to keep it together, huh?"

Alphys smiled with relief. "Y-yeah, you do. I still have a lot of data to go through, s-so, nothing's decided yet, b-but... I figured you should know what might be happening, and... hopefully... do something about it. I know I'm going to try."

"Yeah, don't worry! We've got your backs, okay?" Undyne said, grinning widely. She wound up to slap him on the back, but he dodged out of the way.

"ok, don't make that literal," he said, sounding a little better as he squinted at her. "i, uh... won't make any promises. but... hey, maybe i should help with the research too. if there's anything good i inherited from gaster, it was his smarts. science stuff is still cool, despite him."

"I'm glad he didn't totally ruin it for you," Alphys replied, heart soaring as her own hopes returned. "I certainly could use the help, and it would help keep your mind sharp, s-so, if it's not too much for you... that might be good for both of us."

"heh... using gaster's own specialty against him? can't say i don't like the sound of that," Sans replied, something like spiteful glee shining in his eyes now. "yeah. count me in."

"Aw man, all of us working together!" Undyne cheered. "It'll be great!"

"Yeah... yeah, I think that'll be nice. I'm... I'm sorry I couldn't give you guys good news today, but... That's hardly the end of it," Alphys said. "We'll see where the data leads us, and go from there, and not give up until we're sure we've thought of everything. Until then... I'm not through with Gaster's work. He... he's dead... But I won't let him win!"

#Undertalethingem writes #bark at the moon fic #gaster blaster au #sans (undertale)#papyrus (undertale)#alphys (undertale)#Undyne (undertale)#aaaah finally! sorry it took so long to get this out but it's done now ^^#let me know if i need to tag anything??? i don't think there's anything obvious but #this is an angsty story with bad things happening so =u=;

239 notes · View notes

pirate-kwazii · 4 years ago

Text

Watching Ring Of Fire now so here’s more of my thoughts

Is that a fence in the water

Is everyone groaning about the sea urchin and crab or yawning? I can’t tell

Okay I’ve had the Vegimals song stuck in my head for awhile now

Kwazii’s alarm clock shoots tennis balls at him- same

And Dashi starts the day with yoga

Tweaks fell asleep playing video games mood

Shellington what the fUCK

Tf is that- is that lava?!?

Oh ring of fire like the volcanoes- I feel stupid now

They’re doing their role call out of order

What the fuck Kwazii why did you eat 17 kelp cakes

Is the only thing you eat is seaweed

VIDEO TRAINING VIDEO TRAINING

*terrible accordion playing* *everyone winces*

How many cousins do you have peso?!?!

Kwazii: I’m going out and FAST!!!!

Captain: *eyebrow raise*

Kwazii: I mean I’m checking the engine

MORE GUPS?!?!

“Don’t push the Z button” Kwazii is definitely going to press it I bet all 3 of my dollars

Wait why did Peso and Barnacles need a Gup if they were taking the octopod?!

How much time does Tweak have to keep making all these gups?!

Aw Kwazii loves that Gup so much

WHAT IS BARNACLES WEARING WHAT THE HELL NO

Kwazii’s copying it omg-

Shellington and Dashi are such nerd friends it’s actually adorable

Tremors those are probably important

Ring-shape? Like the ring of fire-

Oh no comms are down

A TSUNAMI?!?!

Mateys you should’ve stayed at the Octopod

Kwazii saved Tweak’s life and now it’s flooding

Why don’t they know about the Ring of Fire if they LIVE in the ocean

Oh no the comms are down they can’t reach them!!!!

Damn at least no one is alone...

Of course the Chinstrap Penguins live on a volcano

Well at least Shellington and Dashi are alright and above water so there’s a lower chance of drowning

“How does he know I’m an octonaut?” Maybe it’s because you’re wearing the octonauts colors and the logo all over it

Wow itd be faster to push the stupid thing

Last time you guys followed the screaming sound there was a tsunami

Well at least you found the whales you wanted to find

“I’ve always wanted to see a whale but not like this!” I’d sure hope so Shellington

Of course the volcano erupts

Tweak Kwazii are ya okay?!

THEY DONT HAVE AIR TANKS ON THEM OH NO

TWEAK!!!

Now is not the time to copy Barnacles- holy shit it worked

She just noticed that?!

Shit you guys are stuck

Kwazii beggars can’t be choosers

Why is that the only way to get across Tweak

No Tweak pay attention

ITS ON FIRE

I really hope you guys can hold your breath

She’s pulling a Ladybug and the things she looks at glow now

Improvised fire extinguisher

WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE ARENT YOU UNDERWATER

Eww they landed in seaweed and a banana peel

Why does everyone end in the garbage disposal- sorry compost

Oh he almost fell in-

*opens door and floods room* Guess we’re swimming after all

Tunip leave him it’s natural selection

Grouber just sits and eats during a panic- same

“Lesson Nine- dealing with disasters” what

Why is the background of those videos so bad

I mean it’s rad but also bad

Tunip: *hands the Vegimals a bunch of shovels* good luck

Mateys how did that dirt pile work-

*quickly unplants all the seaweed*

*vacuums the animals*

LEAVE THE SEAWEED YOU HAVE ENOUGH

“You gotta save us!” Why didn’t you get their attention sooner?

Why do none of them notice the volcanoes that they live on/near

We’ve seen the rafts it won’t work

How the hell did you think of that

Is that even possible

They only leave Inkling in charge when legit no one else is there

Kwazii and Tweak: *mimic pirates, rabbits and Barnacles*

Peso and Barnacles: *mimic penguins*

How was the lava that aLMOST COOKED YOUR EGGS NOT A WARNING SIGN

Wow Inkling is not good at this I see why he’s never in charge

Even Kwazii and the Vegimals have managed the octopod better than that

Why is there is Disco Ball

Why does it always switch to the training videos

“Dashi’s so good at this” yeah it’s almost like it’s her JOB

There was a BUTTON FOR THAT EXACT REASON AND YOU DIDNT THINK TO PRESS IT FIRST?!?!?!

Took you long enough jeez

What is they fall off of the “slide”

“Mothers and babies first” anyone else can perish

Well that egg is dead

Oh never mind he got it

WHY DIDNT YOU TWO GET ON THE SIDE TOO TWEAK WOULD UNDERSTAND

I mean she and Kwazii are trying not to be set on fire so I’m sure she’d get it

“I just hope everyone else is okay” well shellington and Dashi are stuck on a volcano that’s exploding trying to get a beached whale out on a very slow Gup, the Vegimals are trying to evacuate the garden, and Tweak and Kwazii are trying to get out of the burning and flooding repair area so no I don’t think anyone else is okay

“This isn’t working” no really Dashi

Oh the crabs know Kwazii that explains so much

Another Training Video?!

The crew all look so nervous when they appear in a training videos

Oh now Dashi and Shellington are mimicking Tweak

Poor Shellington he’s clumsy

“I have to say I.. really like that plan” yea cuz it’s the one that doesn’t involve you burning in the lava

Shellingtons getting a workout in oof

He’s about to fall into the lava

Now the crabs about to fall into the water

Oh god he’s screwed

Crab jump on the whale- now he’s flying

Shellington get out of the lava!!!

Alright some people are safe

Oh never mind the other volcanoes are erupting too

That water level is dangerously high are they gonna be okay

Kwazii don’t phrase it like that it sounds like you’ll die

KWAZII!!!!!

Oh god oh no his tail

Mimicking Barnacles saved the day

TWEAK!!! KWAZII!!!

Oh they are alright thank god

They’re gonna be traumatized from this- *angst time*

“And how will we get up there” Kwazii making good points again

Kwazii with a grappling hook is a terrifying idea please get one

And now they find out the comms are down

Kwazii trying to be helpful

WHY DOES SHE HAVE AN EMERGENCY CARROT STASH

KWAZII GOT ONE TOO

Another video but this ones useless-

TWEAK YOU TURNED OFF THE POWER

They sounded the octo alert together!!!

Babies

EVERYONES OKAY!!!!

OF COURSE THERES ANOTHER ONE

Kwazii and Tweak: ya we’re good

Also them: *trying to not to drown or burn*

They are all gonna connect to each other like Voltron aren’t they

KWAZII DID PRESS IT IM NOT LOSING MY $3 TODAY!!!

Tweak: I got a plan

*crashes through the hatch*

Kwazii: *excited cat sounds*

Yeah they’re going together naturally

“Mega Gup Z” epic naming skills Tweak

“Seat swap” “wait a minute- WHOA”

“It’s completely covered in sea creatures” there’s no way you get all of them

Oh good some are swimming away

“Sit tight” they can’t really do anything else Captain

Do we know where they go after being S U C C E D into the mega Gup z?

And now rocks are everywhere

Kwazii’s excited cat noises are giving me life

Couldn’t the crabs walk away?

Oh no they’re getting stuck in the volcano-

Oh they’re good thank Neptune

Dashi: yea it’s bout to erupt we gotta go

Peso: I saw something inside there we gotta go look

Does Peso want them to die

Of course the animals sound snobby

“Why ever would we do that” CUZ ITS ERUPTING i swear all the creatures have the IQ of a walnut

“I didn’t even make a button for it” bruh

Yeah just like Voltron

Kwazii: *even more excited cat noises cuz he gets to destroy things*

Why do you all name the moves with the word “mantis” in front of them?

They all share one braincell and Barnacles and Peso have it 90% of the time

Tweak gets the other 10%

Everyone else runs on pure chaotic energy

“Tweak Status Report!” Tweak: WE ARE FUCKED

Let Tweak say “Fuck” 2k21

Kwazii: *e x c i t e d c a t n o i s e s*

*throws sea creatures at whale*

*blows up into five gups in massive explosion in front of erupting volcano*

Is all that sea urchin thinks about is food

“You know what I’d like? Dinner” “you know what pal, that sounds great”

“Have the eruptions stopped” “yea but that’s not what I called about”

Is Inkling trying to be more than that guy who sits in his library all day?

Yea it’s not hatching because of the bandage all around it

Please say the egg doesn’t die

Oh it’s alive good

Octonauts: remember that island that got destroyed by a volcano? Would you like to live on an island that volcano created?

Penguins: not really

Octonauts: too bad

Vegitoa? Wow

ITS THAT STUPID SONG AGAIN LAST TIME IT WAS IT MY HEAD FOR TWO WEEKS

“It still felt like we were working as a team” maybe cuz you were all copying each other the whole time

“You really, really need to update those training videos” yeah fair enough

Of course the Vegimals still remember the dance

I see what the hype was about that was a fantastic movie mateys... though everyone’s probably gonna have some problems after that

#octonauts #kwazii #shellington #peso #captain barnacles #dashi #tweak #professor inkling #the vegimals #Tunip #ring of fire #octonauts ring of fire #kwazii rambles #long post

102 notes · View notes

crispychrissy · 3 years ago

Text

Connected - Part 4

Summary: Dr. Austin's theory is put to the test, and she shows Tony, Bucky, and Steve the woman behind the mystery. Pairing: Eventual Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 2976 Warnings: Angst, medical stuff, stretching the medical science behind the super soldier serum, discussion of Bucky's previous trauma & a mention of the horrible things the Nazi's did A/N: I apologize for the late posting, I fell asleep so hard last night I didn't have a chance to queue this, and then I was out all day (good 14 hours out and about) so I am just now able to post the new chapter since I'm home now. As I mentioned in a prior post, I no longer have a forever taglist, but I will still tag series specific people if they request. You can also follow this story & others on my Ao3 as well. The series was beta’d by the lovely @idjitmonkey and I hope you enjoy! Please send me an ask if you would like to be tagged in the series. :)

Series Masterlist – Marvel Masterlist

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Bucky made a quick call to Shuri who, after a thorough interrogation as to why he was asking, assured him his arm would not be affected by the magnets of an MRI machine. So now, Bucky was laying down on his back inside the machine and staring at the small glass covered camera embedded in the inside curve of the plastic above him.

“Stop staring at the camera, Barnes, you’re giving off some crazy resting murder face right now,” Tony’s staticky voice came through the pair of disposable earbuds he was wearing to protect his hearing from the noise of the scan. “Might sell these scans to Ripley’s Believe It or Not. You actually do have something going on in that head of yours.”

“As much as I know you want to answer, Sergeant Barnes, please do not speak or move,” Dr. Austin’s voice came through after what sounded like a small scuffle for the microphone.

Bucky blinked several times in an unnatural yet controlled fashion, and when he heard Steve’s laughter coming through the earbuds, he had to fight the urge to smile, knowing Steve got the message he blinked out in Morse code.

F-U-C-K Y-O-U T-O-N-Y

The scan was over almost a half an hour later, and Bucky couldn’t hide his exhale of relief once the table began to slide out of the massive scanner. Confined spaces still made his skin crawl and flash back to the cryo tube he was kept in, but the MRI was surprisingly open in design and not like the ones he usually remembered seeing in hospitals. When he brought it up to Dr. Austin on their way back to her office, she smiled at him and explained most of the soldiers they treat have PTSD and claustrophobia, so an open MRI design was necessary for the comfort of the patients she treats.

It made sense, and when they entered her office and Bucky’s stomach growled for the fourth time in the last fifteen minutes, she tossed him the orange he’d been eyeing earlier before taking a seat at her desk and flipping open her laptop.

“Normally we have to wait for the images to be reviewed by a radiologist, but I’m well versed in how to read brain scans,” Dr. Austin explained, clicking a few times before leaning forward to study the screen. “Oh, wow.”

“What?” Bucky asked, using his teeth to bite a chunk of the orange’s peel off since his right hand didn't have nails long enough, and his left didn’t have nails at all. Once he could see the flesh of the orange underneath, he slid his flesh finger under the remaining peel and began to remove it in large pieces, trying to avoid getting sticky juice on his metal hand.

Dr. Austin spun her laptop around to show Bucky the image on her screen. It was a scan of his head, he could tell that, but the mess of swirling bright colors on the inside where his brain was made his eyes hurt. There were bright greens and blues swirled with more vibrant reds and pinks dancing around inside the image. “This is your brain.”

“Looks more like those posters… the ‘this is your brain on drugs’ pictures if they were made in the sixties, Doc,” Tony said. “I’m guessing it’s not supposed to look like that?”

“No. There’s so much brain activity that it’s likely what’s been burning through your energy and why you’ve been hungry all the time,” Dr. Austin explained. “Any type of brain activity, including emotions and problem solving, requires energy, whether it’s planning a complex strategy of attack for a mission or a simple math problem or crying at a sad part in a movie. Overworking the mind usually leads to tiredness, which leads to sleep, naturally refreshing those energy reserves. Most humans don’t expend enough energy, even when the brain is very active, to require major replenishment. Take Mr. Stark for example.”

Tony looked up and raised his eyebrows. “Me?”

“Yes, you’re a very intelligent man, and I’m guessing that when you’re elbow deep in your inventions or developing something, you don’t sleep and will go days without rest… so you find you get somewhat hungry at random times, right?” Dr. Austin asked.

“Well, yeah, I usually keep snacks around the lab that I nibble on so I don’t have to leave to make an actual meal. It ruins the momentum,” Tony said, confusion in his voice. “Pep’s found me passed out over the kitchen counter halfway through making a sandwich.

“Your body shut down and went to sleep before you were even able to replenish that energy via food since sleep is more efficient. So, that is a normal human mind.” Tony opened his mouth to protest, when Dr. Austin rolled her eyes and switched analogies. “Fine, that’s a standard engine, if you will, that can easily be refueled by a small energy source for a limited amount of time before it needs to be shut down and rebooted,” Dr. Austin said, slowly twirling her right pointer finger in a circle.

“Alright, I’m following you so far.” Tony’s head was slightly moving along with the circular rotation of her finger.

“Now, in the case of our super soldiers here, imagine that engine, but amplified almost five hundred percent,” Dr. Austin began to rotate her finger faster and faster until it was a blur of movement. “The need for sleep is suppressed by the serum, since alertness is crucial in combat, so that reboot requirement is easier to put off. In order to keep this kind of engine going at the same speed and level of activity for prolonged periods, it would burn through a small snack, or a small source of energy, too quickly and would signal the driver of the car, if you will, that it needed more.”

“So you’re saying that something is making Bucky’s brain so active, and he’s burning through so much energy, that it’s manifesting as hunger to make sure he keeps up with what’s being expended?” Steve asked, his mouth slightly open in shock. “I mean, I always remember being hungry after mission strategy and planning meetings, but I just assumed it was because I was bored or had skipped a meal.”

Dr. Austin shook her head. “Nope. You were using your brain in overdrive, doing quick calculations and mission scenarios in your head to find the best possible plan of action, much faster than any normal human brain would be able to calculate. It makes you an excellent strategist, but that kind of brain power burns a lot of energy.”

Bucky snorted in disbelief and leaned forward in the chair, resting his elbows on his knees. “It makes sense. I was a good sniper when I was first in the Army during the war, but after Zola… after he injected me with that bastardized version of the serum… I could calculate trajectory angles and wind velocities and distances in my head in seconds, didn’t have to write them out to do the calculations. Didn’t even need a spotter anymore.”

Dr. Austin nodded. “Exactly. The serum allowed you extra mental acuity at the expense of more energy consumption.”

“But that doesn’t explain why Bucky’s brain is lit up like a psychedelic Christmas tree,” Tony said, gesturing to the laptop image. “Barnes obviously isn’t doing any kind of advanced calculus in his head right now.” Tony looked at Bucky. “You’re not right?” Bucky shook his head and Tony continued, “so why is his brain so active?”

“And that leads me to my theory about Y/N,” Dr. Austin said, standing up from her chair. “Follow me, gentlemen. And Sergeant Barnes,” he looked over and raised a brow as he trailed after her into the hallway, “please let me know if you feel any increased feelings of hunger or exhaustion. The effects might come on quickly, so please let me know if, or when, you feel anything.”

Bucky nodded, and looked over to where Steve was walking to his right. Thanks to their childhood friendship, Steve could always see anxiety and nervousness in Bucky even when he tried to hide it, like when he saw Bucky off the morning he shipped off to Europe. Bucky kept his face stoic, but when Steve hugged him goodbye, Bucky was practically trembling under the Army-hardened mask he had worn then.

Steve reached over and clasped a comforting hand on Bucky’s shoulder, giving him a squeeze of reassurance.

The doctor led them down several hallways, until they reached another wing of the military hospital which held secure patient rooms that could be locked down if necessary, whether due to outbursts of violence due to psychological issues from recovering soldiers or to hold prisoners who had been injured and needed medical intervention. Dr. Austin stopped in front of a room at the end of the hallway and gestured to the one-way mirror in front of her.

“Gentlemen, meet Y/N Y/L/N.”

The three men stepped closer and looked into the room, all eyes frozen on the figure sitting upright in the hospital bed. Y/N had shoved herself in the farthest possible corner of the bed, her knees tucked under her chin and arms wrapped around her legs. The photo in her file, and even the video of her they’d seen looked nothing like the woman before them. She looked almost emaciated, her skin a sickly pale that was almost translucent, and her stringy grease matted hair twitched slightly as her body trembled.

“Jesus,” Steve breathed. “She… she looks like those prisoners… the ones—”

Bucky swallowed and nodded. “From Natzweiler, yeah, I remember.” Bucky took a deep breath, fighting against the telltale tingle in his mind of a long since forgotten memory beginning to rise up like a wave. “Doc… is she eating?”

“She was when she first got here, but only if the food was left for her after she passed out from exhaustion,” Dr. Austin explained. “Now, ever since things have escalated, she rips out her IV’s, pulls out NG tubes, and refuses any food we bring her. I’m not going to sedate her just because it’ll make it easier to feed her, we haven’t reached that level of intervention yet, but we’re getting close. She told one of our staff yesterday, in Russian, that she was not going to eat any of our poisoned food, that she wasn’t some kind of lab experiment and that we were animals for not just shooting her in the head to get it over with.”

All of the air in Bucky’s lungs came out in one hard breath like he’d been punched in the chest, and he had to brace himself against the windowsill to keep his knees from buckling. “Fuck.”

“Bucky?” Steve gasped at Bucky’s sudden weakness, grabbing onto his friend’s arm and placing a gentle hand on his back. ”What? Are you feeling the stuff Dr. Austin mentioned?”

Bucky grit his teeth and closed his eyes at the onslaught of memory fragments bombarding him. “No, I’m… I don’t know, maybe? I just… she’s…” Bucky’s thoughts were so jumbled he could barely form a coherent sentence, even in his head. He made a choked off noise that sounded more like a sob before he lifted his head to look at Y/N. “She’s reliving my captivity with Hydra. This… this was after I was transferred from the facility the Russians held me in after they found me to the one where Zola did his experiments. They were, umm, they were testing the limits of the serum, trying to figure out what I could survive.”

Steve’s face dropped and he took a sharp breath in. Bucky’s captivity and torture was not something he talked about often outside his therapy sessions. Steve only knew a handful of stories, ones that had come directly from Bucky’s mouth, and even then they were very hard stories for him to tell—lots of starting and stopping, frequent breaks, and plenty of tears. But here, with two extra people with him, and one being a stranger?

“Buck, you don’t have to talk about it,” Steve whispered.

“No, I need… she said exactly what I said to the guards who brought me food one day.” Bucky swallowed hard, flexing his fingers against the painted metal of the windowsill, the cold against his flesh hand grounding him. “They were testing different poisons and how the serum would fight it off… arsenic, ricin, even different kinds of snake and spider venom. I had seizures, strokes, and my heart stopped so many times I lost count.”

“Fucking hell,” Tony murmured, leaning against the wall behind them, his face a few shades paler than it was ten minutes ago. “Y/N is reliving your memories, reliving your life.”

“We need to find a way to pull her out of this,” Bucky said, straightening up with determination even though his bones felt like liquid and his mind was full of numbing static. If Y/N was reliving his life, even if it didn’t seem like the moments were in order, he knew it was only a matter of time until she would experience how the Winter Soldier was born, how he was forged, and he wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Dr. Austin nodded and looked back at her patient through the glass. “If my theory is correct, which I believe it is based on your shared memories and brain scans, Y/N’s mind has somehow melded with yours. And your memories, powered by your mind’s energy, have somehow taken over hers, suppressing her personality completely. I don’t know if it was some kind of dormant mutant ability that was activated by the trauma of her captivity and torture, or something else… but there is obviously some kind of link between the two of you that we don’t have the technology to test for and verify. You’re essentially feeding her your memories, which is why your brain is lit up like that and why you’re expending so much energy.”

“It’s like she’s stuck inside one of Stark’s virtual reality headsets and can’t take it off, experiencing everything I went through while my brain keeps playing her different…” Bucky trailed off and his eyes widened before his head snapped to look at Y/N through the glass.

In a flash of movement, Bucky grabbed Dr. Austin’s ID badge from where it was clipped onto her white coat and darted for the door to Y/N’s room, scanning the badge so the door opened with a green light and soft click. Bucky, ignoring the shouts of his name and hands trying to grab at him to pull him back, opened the door and shut it firmly behind him, engaging the door’s auto-lock safety feature that he knows secure wings of hospitals have. The group outside would need to find another ID badge to get in, which would buy him some time.

Y/N’s wide and terrified eyes settled on him, and she tilted her head in an almost confused dog-like fashion, her eyes softening with an air of familiarity. Bucky could feel the hunger gnawing at his stomach turn into sharp cramps that almost made him double over, and there was a soft circle of darkness starting to creep in around his vision.

Bucky took three large steps forward, and even though she flinched away at his sudden movement, Y/N didn’t scramble away to try and avoid his hands as he lifted them. Her weary bloodshot eyes were full of unshed tears, and the closer Bucky’s hands got to her face, the more she began to tremble.

“You’re safe,” he whispered to her in Russian, before repeating the same sentiment in English.

The moment his fingers, both flesh and metal, touched the skin on either side of her face, it felt like he was on the wrong side of an attack from Thor’s hammer. Whatever weakness and hunger he’d been feeling was burned out of his body at the sheer shock cascading through his entire being. It didn’t hurt, but it was bordering on wildly uncomfortable, and Bucky was afraid he’d never be able to let go, his hands stuck to Y/N like a magnet.

There was something different passing between them, more than what touch alone could provide. Trying to understand everything that was happening was overwhelming, but when Bucky focused, he could almost feel Y/N inside his mind, like another whisper of a presence, a ghost in his consciousness. When he reached out in his head for her where he’d felt the ghost of her presence, he was assaulted with bursts of memories he knew were not his own, images of unfamiliar people, places, and things flashing in his mind like photographs. Bucky's curiosity was almost childlike, awestruck and trying to understand what his brain was comprehending, sorting through what Y/N was showing him.

The more information Bucky absorbed, the darker each memory became until it felt like he was wading through molasses, each image being harder and harder to move past. A hoarse whisper of “No” echoed in his mind, and Bucky couldn’t tell if it was his own voice or Y/N’s.

A solid arm wrapped around Bucky’s middle, one much more firm than human flesh would be, and pulled him backward until his hands dropped from Y/N’s face, breaking whatever connection had refused to release him when he’d touched her. Reality came rushing back, and the room and people around him flashed into existence, the change in environment and sound disorienting him and leaving him panting for breath, his knees wobbling.

“She…” Bucky looked over at Y/N, who was just as distressed, and watched her collapse onto the bed, unconscious, before his vision blacked out and darkness took him as well.

***

Connected Tags: @ginger-swag-rapunzel @that-one-gay-girl @fanofalltheficsx @joseyrw @lana-writes-04 @gia-25 @klanceiscannon14 @ahahafudge

#connected #part 4 #marvel series #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfic #mcu #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #reader insert #bucky barnes x y/n #angst #medical stuff

48 notes · View notes

havenoffandoms · 3 years ago

Text

Just Fine (Aiden/Lambert)

Based on Kashimalin’s 50 Types of Kisses Prompt List

Read on Ao3

Prompt: “Pulling away from a kiss, whispering words of love against each other’s lips.”

Summary:

Today is the day. Lambert knows he should feel more excited at the thought of his boyfriend returning home, to the safety of Lambert’s embrace, but he can’t help the anxiety building inside him and twisting his stomach in a way he doesn’t care for in the least.

Lambert knows that he should be excited, but the sentiment is tarnished by his crippling anxiety, and he feels like the worst boyfriend in the world.

Warnings: mention of amputation, modern AU

“So, today’s the day, huh?” Eskel smirks as he watches Lambert positively vibrating with excitement where he’s sat on a chair opposite Eskel. The coffee shop is mostly empty, save for another couple in the corner exchanging kisses and giggling carelessly as they rejoice in their puppy love. Lambert chose this place because it’s closest to the airport, but admittedly the place isn’t half-bad and the coffee doesn’t taste like piss.

“Stop that, it’s creepy,” Lambert grouses as he stuffs another forkful of chocolate cake into his mouth. When he notices Eskel’s confused frown, Lambert rolls his eyes and adds pointedly, “you, being all excited on my behalf. That’s unnatural. Stop it.”

“Whatever.” Eskel takes a sip of his tea - because Eskel is the kind of person who likes to drink tea for fun - before levelling Lambert with a look that the latter knows all too well. “You’re allowed to be excited about his return, you know? It’s been a year since he-”

“I know,” Lambert quickly interrupts before Eskel has a chance to finish his sentence, “I am excited.”

“Tell your face, then.”

“Shut up, prick.”

“It’s gonna be fine, Lambert.” Eskel reaches across the table to squeeze Lambert’s clammy hand. “I know you’re worried because of his injury, but you’ll both figure it out together. You don’t love him any less for it, right?”

“Of course not,” Lambert snaps in response as he snatches his hand away, angry at the mere suggestion that his feelings for Aiden would disappear for something as superficial as a physical injury, “of course I don’t love him any less for it. It’s just…”

Eskel doesn’t press him, and Lambert is grateful for that. Truth be told, he’s not entirely sure why he feels so anxious at the thought of seeing Aiden again. It’s been a long year without his boyfriend there to warm his bed and his life. Aiden is the life of Lambert’s entire life, and a year without him felt like the longest time. A whole year went by since Aiden was deployed and has been fighting overseas, taking part in a war that has lost all meaning. He missed birthdays, holidays spent with family around a hearty meal, milestone anniversaries... A year of Lambert staying up late at night, calling Aiden whenever his connection permitted it or writing letters to send his boyfriend when speaking to him proved too difficult. A year of Lambert switching the TV or radio on every morning before heading to work, listening for the announcements and hoping he wouldn’t hear Aiden’s name listed among the soldiers that perished as part of this senseless war.

Just over a week ago, Aiden called Lambert from a military hospital overseas a short two days after he was involved in an explosion that cost the lives of hundreds of civilians and soldiers alike. While Aiden survived the blast, he sustained a considerable injury to his leg. The doctors couldn’t save it, Aiden told Lambert over the phone, the leg had to come off. Lambert remembered crying on the phone that night, not because he mourned the loss of Aiden’s leg - they were tears of relief because Aiden came this close to dying in the blast that killed so many people. Lambert came this close to losing the most important person in his life. Come home, baby, Lambert remembered begging Aiden over the phone, I need you to come home. Today is the day. Lambert knows he should feel more excited at the thought of his boyfriend returning home, to the safety of Lambert’s embrace, but he can’t help the anxiety building inside him and twisting his stomach in a way he doesn’t care for in the least. As a result of the injury he suffered, Aiden had to retire from the military early. While Lambert was happy to have his boyfriend return to him, he knew that Aiden struggled with the thought of retiring at the prime of his career. Not only is he out of a job, but his job prospects are not looking too bright, either. Aiden will have to spend time in physiotherapy, physical rehabilitation courses, counselling… Lambert knows the next months will be tough on his boyfriend.

Lambert knows that he should be excited, but the sentiment is tarnished by his crippling anxiety, and he feels like the worst boyfriend in the world.

“It’s gonna be just fine, Lamb.” Eskel sounds so sure, so confident, that Lambert is almost inclined to believe him. “I promise, brother. You and Aiden will be just fine.”

“I hope you’re right, Kel.”

The drive to the airport is longer than Lambert remembers it being. The car is filled with the sound of heavy rock and heavy metal, the loud emphatic beats and distorted guitar solos washing over Lambert in calming waves. His brothers call him weird for finding this kind of music ‘soothing’, but it works for him, so his brothers can kiss his ass. The sun is beating down on the world below, forcing Lambert to crank up the A/C in the car. He drives along miles of barbed wire, “KEEP OUT” signs and parked aircraft. Lambert checks the time on his dashboard and realises that he’s a whole half an hour early. It isn’t exactly unheard of for soldiers’ families to arrive early and prepare for their loved one’s arrival - either by setting up signs, powdering their noses or getting the children to practice a welcome home song to celebrate their parents’ triumphant return. Lambert usually just waits in the shadows until Aiden comes into view, at which point he pulls his boyfriend close to him so they can get reacquainted away from prying eyes.

Lambert pulls into the airport multistorey parking complex, and thankfully he doesn’t have to spend ages looking for a parking space. As he pulls up into a tight space, Lambert’s heart sinks in his chest. Aiden will probably be travelling in a wheelchair - and he will be using one for a while, at least until he gets his prosthetic leg fitted. There’s no way in hell that Aiden will be able to comfortably step into the car if Lambert stays parked in this spot, but what other choice does he have? He doesn’t have a disabled parking permit yet, but Lambert guesses that’s something they’ll have to think about now. Until then, all he can do is park further away from the door and hope that no one will use the bay next to the passenger side so Aiden has enough space to move comfortably. So that’s precisely what he does. Shit, is Lambert overthinking this? Is he looking for problems where there are none? The last thing he wants is to tiptoe around Aiden’s disability. The last thing he wants is to make Aiden feel like things have changed because he lost his leg.

Shit. Why is he crying now? He should be excited, goddammit.

Lambert angrily wipes the tears and steps out of the car. They’ll be just fine, that’s what Eskel said. Eskel sounded so confident, so sure of himself, but hell, what if he’s wrong? What if Aiden leaves Lambert? What if Aiden pushes Lambert away? It was probably a mistake to read up all those army wives’ blogs and the nightmarish stories about husbands shutting down and falling into depression after sustaining a serious injury. Shit, what if Lambert isn’t good enough? What if Aiden thinks that Lambert is a lousy boyfriend who can’t take well enough care of him?

Deep breaths, Lambert. In, out. In, out. In-

Shit, why are there so many people in this fucking airport? Lambert stands in his usual corner, shying away from the crowds, averting everyone’s eyes as he stares at his phone. He shoots his brothers a text in their group chat - Have I ever told u guys how much I h8 crowds? - hoping that they will understand and distract him from the panic welling up in his chest. As he waits for an answer from either Geralt or Eskel, Lambert switches to his Facebook app and scrolls through his feed. He doesn’t have to wait long until the group chat pings with Geralt’s response.

G: You’ve mentioned it once or twice… or 100

Lambert snorts as he shoots a sassy comeback.

So mentioning it 1 more time won’t hurt. I fucking h8 goddamn crowds.

A quick glance at the arrivals screen tells Lambert that Aiden’s plane landed a few short minutes ago. Not long before they are reunited and able to hug it out in the middle of the airport. At this point, Lambert doesn’t give a shit anymore about what other people think of them. He almost lost Aiden, so he will go on his knees and hug him, wheelchair be damned. Lambert looks around him and sees many families and loved ones itching to welcome the soldiers back. Some of them brought flowers, or the puppy they bought last week as a welcome-home present, and even newborn babies. Lambert wonders if he should have bought Aiden a gift to commemorate the beginning of his retirement. He feels like that would be in bad taste considering Aiden’s feelings on the matter.

The first soldiers start to filter through the door, eyes scanning the room and lighting up when they land on familiar faces. Many people cry tears of joy and relief, others manage to keep a modicum of composure, and some even let out shrill cries of joy as they are finally reunited with the people they love and cherish the most. There is still no sight of Aiden and part of Lambert worries that something happened to him in the week it took the military to organise his repatriation. Feeling the panic well up in him again, Lambert pulls out his phone and opens the group chat window. L: What if he doesn’t come back?

It doesn’t take long for his phone to vibrate with Eskel’s response.

E: As if he’d pass up an opportunity to come back to his pain in the ass boyfriend.

L: Ass.

G: He’ll come back, Lamb. He’ll come back and he’s not leaving again.

Lambert takes a deep breath as he lets these words run through his mind. Aiden is coming back. He’s coming back. He’s-

“Why, hello there,” a familiar voice breaks through the storm raging in Lambert’s head, “come here often?”

Aiden looks so… so like himself. He’s sporting that familiar cocksure grin and his eyes shimmer with all the emotions he can’t bring himself to voice. His voice sounds so self-assured, even though Lambert knows he’s only a breath away from losing it and crying tears of relief. His hair is slightly longer and Lambert can make out the familiar dark curls he loves so much. Aiden looks so much like his old self that Lambert forgets, for a short minute, that he’s missing the lower half of his left leg entirely.

“Aiden. You’re here.”

“No place I’d rather be.”

Lambert doesn’t feel himself fall to his knees until they hit the solid surface of the airport floor, cracking in protest at the impact. He lunges forward and wraps his arms around Aiden’s middle, squeezing tightly and burying his face in his boyfriend’s stomach. He’s unable to bite back the tears this time, and if Aiden notices that the soft material of his t-shirt is soaked right through, he doesn’t draw attention to it. Instead, he cards his fingers through Lambert’s short hair, softly shushing him and whispering heartfelt reassurances in the air pocket between them.

“I’m here, baby,” Aiden tells him over and over, “I’m back. I’m here, sweetheart. I love you.”

“I missed you,” Lambert hears himself say, “I missed you. I was so scared, Aiden, you don’t understand-”

“I’m here, Lamb. I’m here. You don’t have to be scared, anymore.”

They’ve got so much shit to figure out, Lambert knows. They need to think about all the adjustments they need to make to their lives, all the paperwork they’ll have to fill out, therapy sessions they have to book and medical insurance they need to update. All these things that terrified Lambert a few hours earlier, all these plans that made panic well in him and want to run for the hills… all these worries weighing him down disappear the second Lambert feels Aiden’s arms around him, squeezing him, comforting him.

“I’m not scared,” Lambert assures Aiden, pulling back and straightening up so he can place a soft kiss on Aiden’s lips. They still feel the same against his own, they still taste the same, too. Nothing has changed. Aiden is still Aiden. “Not anymore.”

“Anymore?” There’s a teasing edge in Aiden’s voice, a mocking grin tugging at his lips. “Ah, kitten. You don’t have to worry about a thing. I gotcha. Now shut up and kiss me again.”

Lambert happily obliges Aiden’s request. Their lips slot against each other like they didn’t just spend a year apart. Their kiss is tender and soft at first, but Lambert is quick to deepen it by licking Aiden’s bottom lip. Neither of them cares about the potential eyes on him - nobody is likely to pay attention to them, not when they’re all lost in the joy of being reunited with their own family members. Lambert breaks the kiss briefly to whisper a soft ‘I love you’ to Aiden. His cheeks turn red as he speaks those three words which still feel too intimate to be loudly proclaimed in public, even after all these years. Aiden steals another kiss before reciprocating the sentiment, his breath ghosting over Lambert’s lips and sending a peasant shiver coursing through his body.

They have lots of shit to figure out, but Aiden is here and he’s not going anywhere. Aiden is here, and neither of them has to deal with the situation on their own. They’ll be just fine. Everything will be just fine.

#the witcher #lambert #lambert the witcher #the witcher lambert #aiden #aiden the witcher #the witcher aiden #witcher lambert #witcher aiden #lambert x aiden #aiden x lambert #lambert/aiden #aiden/lambert #lambden #laiden #modern AU #havenwrites

43 notes · View notes

girlllthatsgrim · 3 years ago

Text

NSFW ALPHABET (Harry Potter Version)

Severus Snape

A= Aftercare

I can see Severus clean up the room with magic while you bath and soak in bath salts; he doesn’t seem like the guy to make his lady do any type of work after sex. He wants you to feel even more relaxed after making love together.

B= Body Part

Severus doesn’t seem like the type of guy to care too much about his physically appearance so I don’t think he would have a body part that he’s personally proud of. As for a favorite body part on a woman, I think he would favor the eyes because eyes are windows to the soul.

C= Cum

He would religiously use a condom and even if he did ejaculate inside you, Severus would always ask you if you were on birth control. To be very honest, I don’t think he wanted children at all so, that’s another reason why he would use condoms.

D= Dirty Secret

Severus is a big time introvert so, I think he would have a ton of secrets. Even after the two of your start dating, he would be very reluctant to divulge these secrets. One secret that he would keep from you is that he is a masochist - he gets aroused from receiving pain. Now you know why he completely loses it when you scratch up his back or dig your nails into his cheeks as you kiss him roughly.

E= Experience

A stark contrast to the likes of James or Sirius, Severus would probably be more interested in the latest Dark Arts book than chasing after skirts every day. So, I don’t think Severus would have much experience if any.

F= Favorite Position

After the two of you have sex for the first time, I think Severus would favor the lap dance position where you sit on him; I think he would like this position because it allows for face-to-face intimacy so he can maintain eye contact.

G= Goofy

We all know Severus to be a no-nonsense person as a middle age man and I think that wouldn’t change as a young adult either; even as a teenage he was very mature for his age. In the bedroom, he would be especially serious. I think he sees sex for what it is: an adult act and not recreation for kids. So, don’t expect jokes throughout the whole romp.

H= Hair

Before he met you, his hair was quite greasy since he didn’t care much to wash it as frequently as he should. Now, Severus has seen the error in his ways and washes his hair, which unleashed the latent beauty of his thick, jet black hair. As for his pubic hair, I think he would shave it, but not routinely; there will be times where you two will have sex and the forest has gone untrimmed. If he doesn’t even keep up with his shaving, I doubt he will care much if his lady shaved either.

I= intimacy

Out of all the Harry Potter guys I’ve analyzed so far, I think Snape would be the most romantic in bed. Under the facade of coolness is someone who is capable of loving a woman unconditionally. It might be hard to imagine, but he would be one of those guys in their twilight years that is still married to the same woman and says ‘I love you’ every night before they sleep. In bed, eye contact is an absolute must; since that is the most attractive attribute on a woman, I don’t think he would ever look away from you.

J= Jack off

I don’t think Severus masturbated that much even before he met you. It’s not that he he doesn’t like girls either. He has an unbelievably high level of self-control for a young person his age, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t think about it at times. When he started dating you, he didn’t masturbate at all because he has you. It does not make much sense for him to masturbate when he has a lovely girlfriend whom he loves with every fiber in his being.

K= Kink

As mentioned before, Severus is a masochist. When he gets around to actually telling you this dirty secret, he has a major kink for scratching up his butt. There are times when he’ll make you drag your nails across it because it arouses him even more.

L= Location

Snape is not the adventurous type; he sticks to what he knows and very rarely ventures into the unknown (only if it has to do with potions or DADA). You two are either doing the deed in his bed or yours. You might be able to coax him to do it in the shower together since he would do anything for you, but it will take time.

M= Motivation

Why do I feel like Severus would have a thing with girls who wear glasses? Maybe it’s because he himself is quite studious, but I think seeing you wear your glasses would turn him on.

N= No

I think he would detest Anal sex; in his mind, people defecate from there for a reason and his penis doesn’t belong there. Don’t try to fight him on this one because it will be a losing battle every time.

O= Oral

Despite him being an even switch, I think Severus would really enjoy doing oral on you once he got the hang of it and learned what you liked. Again expect lots of eye contact.

P= Pace

I think Severus’ pace would generally be slow and sensual; he might go faster by watching your eyes and you scratching him, but I believe even then he would hold himself back from increasing speed because he doesn’t want to hurt you. At all.

Q= Quickie

If he’s not very adventurous, I can’t see Severus doing a quickie - even if he was desperate. That self-control would pour out the fire just long enough until the evening.

R= Risk

Similar to quickies, Severus isn’t very adventurous and I don’t think he’s keen on taking risks -especially when they involve you and your body. He’s more likely to take risks inventing a new potion than try a new sex position that might kill you. If you asked him to, then maybe he would comply, but he isn’t going to go out of his way to have sex in the Ravenclaw common room when everyone is watching a quidditch game.

S= Stamina

I’d say Severus’ stamina is pretty average; he could go on for about 4 or 5 rounds. Nothing too crazy.

T= Toy

Severus wouldn’t be into toys at all. If you already owned one, he wouldn’t mind it, however he wouldn’t be forthcoming about using it during sex. His penis is all that matters.

U= Unfair

Severus is quite sarcastic, but this is rarely seen by most people. I don’t think he would tease that much during sex unless something happened that was unforgettable like you farting or something. That’s when the sarcasm and teasing would come out in droves.

V= Volume

Save heavy breathing and couple of groans, Severus is pretty quite himself during the act unlike Sirius and James.

W= Wildcard

Severus is unique in his own way and let’s very few people into his world. Although he isn’t quite adventurous, that doesn’t mean he is not creative and the highly creative guys are the ones you should watch out for. I think Severus would find ways to change up the way you make love within the sphere of reason. Not many people can do this which is why, you as his girlfriend, should be very proud to know him.

X= X-ray

Flaccid: 5

Erect: 7 1/2

Y= Yearning

I think Severus’ sex drive would be low for a man his age and the reason being is because of his self-control as well as his priorities; there is a time and place for everything. The two of you wouldn’t have sex every day, but when you do, the experience was always memorable as Severus would always remind you that he loves you very much.

Z= ZZZ

I think the two of you would fall asleep around the same time. So, if you fell asleep first, he’s not too far behind you and vice versa.

26 notes · View notes

remuswriting · 4 years ago

Text

next to you; u. keishin

Summary: Keishin Ukai wants to play with Y/N L/N no matter how hard he has to work for it.

Pairings: Keishin Ukai x Male! Reader

Warnings: Swearing and fighting

Word Count: 4,571

Notes: I’m not sure if what this is in terms of angst or fluff. I just wanted Ukai to get some more love, so I wrote him to be in high school. Like all my other things, I’m going to add that I’m new to writing reader inserts, so they may not be all that good.

*****

Y/N always glided down the court as if he could fly, and everyone watched him in awe. He was beautiful with the way he played, because he made everyone else feel so alive that they couldn’t help but want to grow as players or maybe even join volleyball. The ace should do that though, he should motivate others to thrive.

“Give it to me, Koichi-san!” Y/N called out, and the setter set it perfectly to where the h/c haired boy seemed to be flying. It the ball smashed into the ground, no blockers being able to touch it, and he grinned over at the setter. “Hell yeah!”

Keishin watched him from the sideline in awe, like he always did. The boy who flew around the court was something the buzzcut boy wished he could have. Whether it be in volleyball or in friendship or in love; he wished he could have him. Y/N’s smile brightened up the court, and everyone seemed to get even more motivated to do their best.

“I wish I could just play in a game so I can play with L/N-san,” Takinoue said, and some of the players around him agreed.

“He forces everyone to play harder,” Tamura said with a slight sigh. “It could be kind of exhausting to keep up with him.”

“Wouldn’t that be the thrill of it all?” Takinoue asked, excitement slightly in his voice. “You get to see how hard you can actually fight, because he will make you fight.”

Even though Keishin didn’t say anything, he agreed with his friend. Y/N forced people to fight on his level, because when everyone was with him; Karasuno was unstoppable. He had heard his grandfather say how it almost like a miracle to get the outside hitter, because no one flew like he did.

“Don’t give up now!” Y/N screamed at a player that Keishin couldn’t distinguished. There were five other people besides the spiker, so it was hard to realize who was being scolded. “When we win, then you can give up, okay?”

For a second year, the h/c haired boy acted more like the captain than the actual captain. When he looked over at the sidelines, e/c eyes catching Keishin’s brown ones, the setter felt a chill run down his back; the look in his eye could nearly be considered murderous.

Sometimes everyone wondered if Y/N would murder someone to win, and their coach once said it showed that at least someone was dedicated. Even if people knew this, they still wanted to play next to the h/c haired boy to feel the adrenaline he gave.

*****

It was a Friday when Y/N sought out Keishin during lunch. His hands were on his knees as he panted as if he had just ran a marathon. When he looked up at the buzzcut boy, Ukai was sure he would never forget the look in his eyes; desperate and hungry for something that would take the setter a while to fully understand.

“Set to me,” Y/N said as he stood up to look at the other in the eye. “I want to see how high I can fly with you.”

Keishin had been working hard, had even been complimented by his grandfather (who had even once said the only thing he hated was grandson) and everyone had been seeking him out to practice with. He just never expected their beloved ace to be so determined to practice with him as well.

“What if I’m not as good as Fujii-san?” He asked, and the outside hitter chuckled as he shook his head.

“Doesn’t matter who’s better; matters who makes it feel right.”

Ukai had been a spiker once, because he had to be, but it never appealed to him. He didn’t have the same rush that he hot when he saw someone perfectly spike the ball he set.

He noticed how Y/N’s eyes shined as if he had won the lottery every time he spiked one of the setter’s sets. His smile was always so big and contagious that the buzzcut boy found himself smiling too.

“Again,” Y/N demanded, something he did a lot. “Make me fly higher, Keishin.”

“Okay, L/N-san,” he said, his cheeks bright red and the spiker grinned at him as if he had been invited to be on the National Men’s Volleyball Team.

“Call me Y/N.” The spiker chuckled slightly. “It’s only fair, right?”

“Yeah, it’s only fair,” Keishin breathed out. “Now let’s make you fly higher.”

*****

Keishin wasn’t exactly the person who was used to setting to Y/N during practice matches. The beloved ace had been paired up with Fujii since their first year, because they could do attacks that the buzzcut setter could only wish of doing. When he did become used to setting to him during practice matches, they became unstoppable.

He’d watch Y/N stare at his red palm after a particularly strong spike before he’d clench his fist and look up at the setter. His eyes were desperate and hungry like the first time he had asked the other to set to him. Keishin felt so much pride that he never wanted any of it to end. He wanted to stay on the court with Y/N.

“You give Koichi-san a run for his money at times,” Y/N said as they took a break, only for the setter stared at him in confusement only for the h/c haired boy to chuckle slightly. “Don’t look at me like that and just take the compliment.”

Coach Ukai noticed the obvious connection between the two and moved Keishin to be a starter who was switching in and out with Fujii in games. The ginger always glared at the other, because everyone wanted to fight with Y/N, even if they never said. Or even refused to admit it.

“Don’t try to make a move on him,” Fujii said when the two setters were in the club room alone. Keishin wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by the statement. “It’s easy to get caught up in the way he acts when he’s on the court, but he doesn’t give a damn off it.”

“Why do you care what I do and what I don’t do?” Keishin asked as he stared over at the other, who gave him with an annoyed look.

“We all keep getting our hearts broken by him,” the ginger said as he ruffled his hair slightly. “We get our hearts broken without even realizing we were in love with him.”

The buzzcut boy froze, because he wasn’t in love with the h/c haired spiker. Admiration and love were two separate things, and he definitely wasn’t in love with L/N. The silence was filled by Fujii chuckling at the other.

“Don’t worry, you’ll realize it soon enough.” The other setter patted Keishin’s shoulder firmly. “You never know, he could fall in love with you too. He’s quite unpredictable.”

Keishin didn’t process Fujii leaving and that he was alone in the club room. He stared at his cubby with a frightened expression. He couldn’t be in love with Karasuno’s ace, because he was straight; they were both straight. There was that feeling he got in his stomach when they shared smiles after a particularly good spike. Or the way his heart clenched whenever Y/N wanted to eat lunch with him, especially when the spiker took him to the roof because “it’s the best place to eat obviously.”

He wasn’t in love with him and Y/N wasn’t going to be able to break his heart.

****

Keishin was taken off the court during a practice match, but this time it wasn’t like their temporary switch outs they had been doing. His grandfather had a stern look on his face, one that the buzzcut boy had only seen him give to other people when he gently scolded them.

“Keishin,” his grandfather started, and their male manager looked scared. “What’s wrong with you today?”

“What do you mean?” The setter asked, because he really didn’t know. He felt fine, and all of his sets to the spikers were fairly solid.

“You’re not able to keep up with L/N,” coach said calmly, which made it even scarier. “He demands his setter to reach his breaking point faster than he reaches his. You’re too close to yours and we’re barely halfway through the first set, so you started to falter.”

His grandfather could be right, probably actually was, but Keishin had no idea. Maybe he had started to be more cautious because the spiker had been feeling good today. When he felt good, the entire team was required to feel good too; it was how they won.

“Sorry, sir.”

“You’re out for the rest of the match,” Coach Ukai said, his grandson gritting his teeth at the statement. “Go watch Fujii and see how he’s able to keep up with L/N.”

When he went to where the rest of the benchwarmers were, they all looked at him so confused. He always sat on the bench next to their coach and manager. They all let him go behind them, crouch down, and watched him muffle a scream into his hand. He deserved to be on the court, even if he apparently couldn’t keep up with the spiker right now. Keishin would fight harder if it meant he could be on the same court as the other boy.

“Hey, you okay dude?” Takinoue asked as he approached him, and it seemed like he was the only one confident enough to do so.

“I’ve been taken out for the entire game,” Keishin said, and his voice sounded so at ease but his body language was so aggressive. The bleach blonde middle blocker gave him a look of understanding.

“You won’t be fighting next to L/N-san,” the middle blocker said. “You’re used to him by your side, hitting every set you do.”

The buzzcut boy didn’t make a comment, because he didn’t know what to say. It was true that it fucking sucked to not be on the court with Y/N, but it was more than that at the same time. He had started to work so hard to keep up with him; volleyball and school was all that he was he did so he could stay on the court. Was that what he was supposed to say? Was he supposed to admit that he wanted to be next to the outside hitter so badly that it killed him to have to sit out.

“Koichi, stop throwing the ball so fucking high!” Y/N screamed, causing everyone to look over at him as he got into the other’s face. “Just do it how Keishin does it, because I can actually hit it.”

“You hit that one though!” Koichi screamed back. “So, stop acting like you can’t.”

Coach Ukai had to call for a timeout and L/N refused to calm down. He screamed about how tired he was of Koichi trying to dictate how every spiker should play when they all weren’t the same person.

“Stop bitching and just hit the damn ball,” Koichi snapped, and the h/c haired boy looked over at him with a murderous expression.

“If we weren’t doing a match right now, I would’ve fucking decked you already.”

“Calm down right now, you two!” Coach Ukai yelled, and the two boys immediately became quiet. “Do I need to bench you, Y/N? Or are you going to behave?”

E/C eyes looked down at the ground before they looked back up at the older man. They held anger, resentment, and something else that no one knew what it was. Keishin knew the ace just wanted to play; wanted to win. He had told him that, confessed how he knew what he wanted to do on the court and he would fight until he no longer could to get there.

“Sorry, coach,” Y/N said softly. “I’ll calm down.”

He had to put his anger and preference aside so he could keep fighting; keep being on the court. When the timeout was over, L/N became a different person on the court. He encouraged Koichi and the rest of the players on a new level.

“He just wants to stay on the court and fight.”

****

Keishin found Y/N practicing in the gym alone every night after practice. The setter had been made the person to kick the ace out, because everyone said he had a way to get L/N to listen. He was fine with making the other second year leave, but no one realized that.

His brown eyes followed the spiker as he did jump serves, determined to make them service aces. Y/N was always growing and the setter wondered if he would ever stop. Part of him couldn’t actually comprehend the idea of the outside hitter not being able to improve when all he ever saw was him improving.

“Oh, Keishin, it must be time for me to leave if you’re here,” the h/c haired boy said with a sigh and a nervous smile. He never acted like this before, so what was going on?

“I can give you a couple more minutes if you’d like,” Keishin said as he leaned against the gym wall. “I’d join you, but I’m pretty exhausted after today’s practice.”

They had to run up the mountain near the school, because their endurance wasn’t good enough according to his grandfather’s opinion. Somehow the spiker in front of him didn’t seem to be tired in the slightest, and he was jealous of the energy he had.

“I’m done, so don’t worry,” Y/N said as he put the volleyball he had using. “It must be annoying for you to come get every night.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be our ace if you didn’t practice like you do.” Keishin paused as he looked from the floor to his teammate. “I don’t find it annoying; if I did, then I’d make someone else come get you.”

“Then why have you been acting like you no longer want to be on the same court as me?” The h/c haired volleyball player asked with a tilt of his head. “You even got yourself benched at the last practice match. Do you want to be a bench warmer again?”

Keishin didn’t move or talk, because he didn’t think the other would read so much into this. It made sense for him too, because Y/N had always been the person to somehow read people fairly well but let them still have their secrets. The setter wondered if maybe the other knew he was starting to fall for him. There was no beautiful explanation as to why, but just the fact it felt good to be near the other and he liked how the spiker laughed as well.

“Is it true you keep breaking our teammates hearts?” Keishin finally asking the question he had wanted to for weeks. Koichi’s words had clung to him as if they were clothes soaked by the rain.

“I wasn’t aware of doing that, so it must be unintentional if I was doing it,” Y/N said, his voice casual but eyes held a kind of vulnerability that scared the setter. “Only one person has confessed to me, so I guess I’ll take credit for that one. Is there a reason why you’re asking?”

“Someone warned me you’re too different off the court to actually fall in love,” The buzzcut boy said, and e/c eyes trailed his face as if he was searching for honesty in his features.

“I guess you could say I am two different people; one person on the court and another person off the court, but you need to be when it comes to sports,” Y/N said before he sighed, obviously not enjoying the conversation.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, on the court, I know what I want and how I’m going to get it, but it’s different off the court because life isn’t made up of certain plays and combo attacks.” The ace walked over to the other to lean on the wall next to him. “I also don’t demand attention like I do on the court. I don’t want to be seen unless there’s a volleyball in my hand.”

“Is that why you break hearts? You don’t know what you want off the court, so you don’t know you want them,” Keishin said as he turned to face the other and noticed how there was little space between them. Maybe a foot, but that seemed so small when Y/N was next to you.

“I imagine I break hearts because I don’t want them,” Y/N said as he chuckled softly. “I know what I want, but I don’t have a play on how to get him to really notice me. It’s different when someone sees me as the person I am on the court, but not as the one I am normally.”

“You shouldn’t need a play to get him to notice you. You are kind of hard to miss.”

Y/N pouted as he pushed at the other’s shoulder. Blush covered his cheeks and Keishin wanted to laugh. He wanted to laugh because Koichi had probably wanted at this at some point, but never did. Or at least never had according to the setter’s knowledge.

“Are you insulting me, Keishin?” The spiker asked, his pout only growing more and more.

“No, it’s a compliment, dumbass,” the setter said, only to get another shove at his shoulder from the nickname. “Sorry, let me say it again; it’s a compliment.”

“Well, if you keep complimenting me, I’m going to fall more in love with you.” The buzzcut student choked slightly at the comment. This was actually unexpected. “That was a bit forward, sorry. I guess this is a confession, even though you most likely don’t like me the same.”

“No, I do like you,” Keishin said as he scratched his neck and looked away from the other, not sure what to say. “It’s just kind of weird to like guys, since you’re the first one I’ve ever liked.”

“That’s okay, I’d never force you to do anything you don’t want to,” L/N said, and even though the younger Ukai didn’t know if he believed him.

You force me to my limit every time we play together. You force everyone to play as hard as you do, even though all of us struggle to. Even though you know you demand attention on the court, do you know how much?

“Fujii told me I was useless to you now because I had been taken off the court,” Keishin said as he looked back at the other. “Told me that it was just heartbreak waiting to happen.”

The buzzcut boy had partly agreed with the ginger setter. Y/N had always seemed like the kind of person who refused to play with someone who wasn’t valuable to the team. He had acted like that with Keishin for the last year and a half, so why wouldn’t he act like that again?

“Koichi is just mad I rejected him as a setter and a boyfriend, so don’t listen to him,” the other said as he tilted his head to touch the gym wall. “Tell me, what do you want to do? About this, not anything else because this is the topic at hand.”

The setter chuckled at how the other clarified, obviously nervous. He wasn’t sure if he had ever seen the other nervous, because Y/N was always confident in everything he was doing. Or that he had seen. The spiker always gave his all and it made him seem like he was overflowing with confidence.

“I’m not sure,” Ukai said softly. “What are our options.”

Well, there’s dating or just being friends. I’m fine with either. Whatever makes you comfortable.”

Maybe Y/N really was different off the court, even though he had slightly already known that. Eating lunch every day with someone for two months made it obvious who they really were, even if it was just barely. It was so weird to think he wanted others to be comfortable when he was the person who forced others to do what he wanted.

“We can date,” Keishin said slowly. “I just don’t know if I want to be public about it.”

Y/N reached out and touched his shoulder, comforting him, and smiled at him.

“That’s fine,” he said, his smile so soft Ukai could feel it as if a feather touched him so delicately. “We can work up to it, okay?”

“Okay.”

Y/N dropped his hand and walked away before he turned to the other and clapped his hands. He then grabbed the container holding the volleyballs with an expectant look. The setter walked over to him and helped him put them all up.

“Let’s leave now,” the outside hitter told him, and he nodded before he grabbed the other’s hand for a moment before dropping this.

He was dating the ace of Karasuno and it was kind of crazy to him.

*****

It was 5 am when Keishin gets a call, and he grumbled slightly until he saw the caller ID. He ran a hand through his bleached hair, shocked at seeing the name on his phone. The coach answered it, realizing it won’t answer itself.

“Hello,” he said, voice groggy and rough from being woken up. There was rustling on the other side of line.

“Shit, I woke you up didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but I needed to wake up soon anyways,” Keishin said, wishing he could see the person calling him. It had been years since they had seen each other, and the blonde missed the other.

“If you say so. I didn’t mean to though; I just forget Japan and the United Kingdom have different time zones.” A chuckle from the man on the other side of the line filled the coach’s ears. “I do have a reason why I called though, but I can call later if you want me to.”

Part of the blonde setter wanted to tell the other to call him later, because that meant he would get to hear his voice even more than he would if he didn’t. That was stupid, because he imagined the other had things to do most likely.

“No, it’s okay, Y/N,” Ukai said, the name felt weird to say since it had been so long.

“I found out through Yukinari that you’re the new coach of Karasuno,” Y/N said, and his voice seemed awkward, but it was probably because he lived in London now. “Were you planning on never telling me?”

“I was conned into it by the brat players,” Keishin said, and he knew that he was starting to love coaching the Karasuno team. “You never told me you finally published your novel.”

“My novel doesn’t mean shit compared to Karasuno going to nationals.” More rustling on the Y/N’s side, making the blonde wonder what he was doing. “Also, those first year’s quick attack is fucking insane.”

“You’ve seen our matches?” Ukai asked, not hiding the shock in his voice and the old outside hitter laugh slightly.

“Of course, I have. Makoto downloads the recordings they take at the tournaments and emails them to me.” More rustling and a sigh. “Katherine, I’m on the phone. Stop rolling around my bed. Sorry, my roommate is annoying.”

The rustling had been from Y/N’s roommate though. The old setter smiled, remembering how annoyed the other would get whenever he got on his bed. Always told him that his bed was a place for sleep and homework, not moving all over the place.

“No worries. So, you like our freak duo? Anything else the beloved ace likes from Karasuno’s national qualifying team.”

“Your ace, I think it’s Asahi, is crazy powerful. I wish I had been powerful like him. Also, that captain of yours holds the ground down so well, your grandfather would’ve loved him on his team. He would’ve loved all of them, especially your libero.”

Ukai wanted to say how it was the team that would’ve been able to keep up with Y/N; the team he deserved. He wanted to tell him how he had been so much more powerful than Asahi may ever be, but the other would only ever deny that. He denied every compliment after his ACL injury that took him out from the second half of their first set to the rest of the year. They lost and his grandfather always said it was because none of them had the drive or fire to compete without the injured outside hitter.

“I’m going to come to nationals,” Y/N said and it made Keishin choke on his own salvia. The h/c boy had been in Japan for nearly 10 years now after he moved to the United Kingdom to study abroad and then never came back. “Is that okay?”

“Of course!” Ukai exclaimed a little too loudly, excitement getting the best of him. “Maybe you could show them a few things.”

“I can try, but I’m really rusty. I’ll be in Japan for two weeks though. I can get work done there too, so it’s not a problem.” Y/N chuckled softly and Keishin could basically see him shaking his head. “I’ll also get to see you, so that’s a plus.”

Even after their breakup in their third year, Y/N was always flirty and somewhat affectionate with him. The blonde man assumed it was because the other didn’t want to actually breakup but being around someone so into volleyball when he couldn’t be was something that he just wasn’t able to do. Instead he had started writing, forced his ex-boyfriend to read everything he wrote, and ended up studying abroad in the United Kingdom for creative writing.

“It will be nice to see you,” Ukai admitted with a sigh. “You’ll have to talk to everyone we went to high school with though.”

A groan was heard on the other side of the line. Of course, the once beloved ace of Karasuno didn’t want to talk to anyone he had once played with.

“There was something else I wanted to tell you, still volleyball related, but not nationals,” the h/c haired man said, avoiding hearing who would be at nationals that he’d have to talk to. “Your freak duo, it’s Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shouyou, right? I can’t remember who plays what position though.”

“Yeah, Kageyama is the setter and Hinata is a middle blocker, but mainly spiker,” Keishin said, unsure of what the other was about to say. “Why?”

“In a way, I was like Kageyama and you were Hinata.” A laugh that wasn’t Y/N was heard on the other line, which made Ukai assume it was Katherine. “I controlled the court like Kageyama does, but you were free like Hinata is. We made a really amazing team.”

“No, you’re wrong. You’re both of them and I bet you’ll see that when you come to nationals.”

Y/N chuckled slightly before he let out an irritated sigh. There was muffled talking and then a groan.

“Sorry, babe, I have to go. Katherine is complaining about being hungry. See you soon, okay?”

Ukai’s heart fluttered at the pet name he hadn’t heard in years. It made him feel stupid really to still be so affected by someone he hadn’t had real contact with in so long.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Me neither.”

The call ended and Keishin let out a deep breath as he grinned.

Y/N was coming back to Japan.

#ukai keishin #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu fic #ukai keishin x reader #ukai keishin x male reader #male reader insert #male reader

362 notes · View notes

that-yandere-life · 4 years ago

Note

Steve Rogers

[Thank you for helping me celebrate! I hope that you enjoy, and that it was what you were wanting darling!]

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

All of Steve’s experience comes from back in the day, so he is not as well educated on the proper etiquette of today. However once you explain to him what you require, and the importance of aftercare he will make sure you are taken care of.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Favorite part of his: His shoulders, for more reasons than the fact that they are strong enough to hold the weight of the world on them. Or being your shoulder to cry on whenever you need it, to being your scratching post as he is slamming into you with unparalleled force. However the main reason he likes them the most is because it’s your favorite place to fall asleep at night.

Favorite part of yours: Your lips, in fact he often finds himself subconsciously sketching them in his sketchbook. Loving the words and sounds that desperately fall from them as you two are making love. The incredible feeling of them on his own lips, or even better around his cock. ;)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Inside of you will usually be any yandere’s first choice (including him), but if you are extremely adamant against the idea he would then choose to cum in your mouth. Of course he will make you swallow it as punishment for not letting him cum inside of you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Packs a pair of your used underwear with him in his go bag if he has to leave you for any length of time. Whether he uses it to get off taking in your scent, or wrapping it around his dick knowing that where he really wanted to be had once touched that very fabric.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Yes he does have experience! He is not the virgin everyone seems to think he is. Do you really think that he wouldn’t take someone up on the offer, after getting no attention his entire life? Anyone would be oh so dedicated to helping him make up for lost time, showing him how to properly please a woman.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

The “G-Whiz” which is where your legs are up on his shoulders while he is thrusting into you, holding onto your hips where they meet him. The point of this move is that not only is it a deep penetration position, but also continuously hits your G-Spot. Bringing the maximum amount of pleasure for both of you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Deep down Steve will always be a goofball, sweetheart, marshmallow of a person. While time has hardened him slightly, it’s mostly on the surface level. The Steve Rogers you get is what is within his heart and soul. So sometimes it might be silly, and sweet where the two of you are enjoying each other's company more than anything else. Others are so needy, desperate, and serious that his main goal is making you fall apart over and over again.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Steve is a well kept man, so this would also mean he is trimmed and kept down there as well. Although his happy trail is something he leaves in all its glory, a solid promise for what is to come.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Gets very heated in the moment, a lot of emotions coming up to the surface because he just loves you so damn much. More than he has ever loved anyone, and he truly wants to show you how he feels every time the two of you make love. Sometimes he gets lost in the lust and passion between you and it becomes more about the pleasure aspect, however the love is always there.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Only when he has to be away from you, or you aren’t feeling good. Basically when he can’t have you, he will take care of the job himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Everyone knows he has a Captain kink this isn’t news to anyone, he likes feeling like he has authority over you in the bedroom. Maybe a little bit of a complex left over from when he was small and frail, but who is to say? Really likes seeing you try on his uniform though, and attempt to wield his shield.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

In the bedroom, because while he isn’t bashful by any means he doesn’t want to tarnish either of your reputations if you were caught somewhere public.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

The smell of your perfume, the one you wear very rarely because it was so expensive you can’t justify using it all the time. The one reserved for special occasions, where you both dress to the nines. The one that will be the only thing you are wearing by the end of the evening. ;)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything in public, he doesn’t mind in the privacy of a hotel, or home, but he draws the line at that. Possibly a little bit due to how he was raised honestly, brought up to always defend someone’s honor, especially of those he loved.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

The boy can do more with his tongue than just give motivation to others, he can tear you apart just to build you back up again. However he LOVES to receive, and would never turn you down if you ask him. The sight of you on your knees pleasuring him, teasing him, your tongue swirling purposefully around his shaft making him fall apart like the world no longer exists around him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Both, he wants to be sweet, but also fuck you into the mattress. It’s truly the best of both worlds, and he knows exactly when you are ready to switch it up and get off.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Ideally he likes to take his time, but if you both only have a limited amount of time and are too horny to function he will make an exception.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

As long as it is within the confines of your bedroom he will try pretty much anything you want him to. Understanding that sex has changed quite a bit from when he was from, wanting to learn anything you are willing to teach him.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Two words: SUPER SOLDIER, he can do it all day ;) (Pun intended) But seriously, he has so much stamina it’s rare that you don’t have trouble walking the next day.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Steve would be fascinated by toys, especially the technology versus the purpose of them. So he would definitely be down to try various things you suggest, or will pick some out if you show him something he is interested in trying.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Steve doesn’t tease, and is most definitely the type to punish you if you tease him. Get ready for orgasm denial until you are damn close to shouting your safe word. Only then would he bring you over the edge.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Average level of sounds, moans, groans, praising, punishing, dirty talk. Nothing overtly loud to draw attention in any way.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Steve is a Dom, in every sense of the word. So likely your submissiveness is what got him interested in the first place. You better listen to the Captain if you know what is good for you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Thick, beautiful, uncut cock. Above average length, think Adonis level attractive.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Much higher after he met you, before it was hit or miss depending on the moment. Having many distractions, and more important situations to deal with at the time.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not very fast, he wants to watch you fall asleep on his shoulder. Making sure you are happy, comfortable, and feeling safe before he lets himself join you in slumber.

#yandere marvel #marvel yandere #steve rogers x reader #yandere steve rogers #yandere captain america #Anonymous

301 notes · View notes

shenanigans-and-imagines · 4 years ago

Note

For the NSFW alphabet, Obi-Wan Kenobi?

A/N: A quick reminder to COMMENT AND REBLOG IF YOU LIKE THIS!!! The tags hate me personally and these take just as much effort as drabbles or one-shots. Help a girl out.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s so attentive to your needs. You could ask him for a specific type of soup made in an obscure restaurant somewhere in the depths of Coruscant and he’d find a way to get it to you. Most of the time though, he’ll run a bath or hold you close and overall make you feel comfortable and loved.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your lips. He loves the way they feel on his. He loves the words that spring from them. The mind that gives them motion. The way they curve into a smile or poke into a pout he just wants to kiss away.

For himself, Obi Wan is very proud of his hair; both the kind of his head and his beard. He takes the time to care for it and absolutely loves the feeling of your fingers running through it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Obi-Wan rarely cums inside you unless you specifically ask him to, even with a condom. Maybe it’s paranoia, but he even if he’s enjoying himself in the moment, some part of him starts to panic the second he comes down from his high. Rather than go through all of that, he ends up cumming on your stomach more times than not.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Not long after meeting you, Obi Wan had his first wet dream he had since he was a teenager. Usually he’s able to control such urges, but something about seeing you in that outfit, speaking with Senators and holding the confidence of a queen did things to him. It took him almost a week of meditation and serious concentration to be able to even look you in the eye.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Extremely limited. Like one person limited. Like Satine and only once limited. He only starts doing his research under a deep layer of encryption code when you get together. Even then, he prefers to learn through trial and error. There are some awkward nights, but you know he’s trying.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Call him basic, but missionary. He likes being able to see your face. He loves having full access to your mouth while pulling you close to him. Not to mention it’s easier for him to pull out when the time comes.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He switches back and forth between studious observation on what you do and don’t like, and being a sassy little bitch. He knows there are going to be moments when he’s still figuring out exactly what he’s doing and so has to make a joke to ease the tension. Also, he likes to tease you. It’s his thing. Almost a reflex at this point.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He hasn’t really been paying attention besides keeping it all clean, but once you get together he takes the time to trim it back at least. He takes pride in his hair, no matter where it grows. And there is quite a bit down there.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Obi Wan can be such a romantic and nobody can convince me otherwise. There have been times he just comes to your room with absolutely nothing smart to say and just kiss you like you’re the most precious thing in the universe before you even start undressing. You guys don’t get a lot of time together and Obi Wan want to make the most of it while you can.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Obi Wan has some Catholic level guilt when it comes to masturbating. He hasn’t really done it since he was a much younger Padawan and when he’s with you, he’s had enough training to wait until he can see you again. It’s when he’s on Coruscant with you and can’t touch you that’s the real kicker.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Major praise kink, both giving and receiving. He loves nothing more than worshiping your body, whispering soft insistent praises in your ear. And when you turn the tables? When you tell him how good he makes your feel, how perfect he is, how precise and attentive; he loses it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

You’re either at your place outside the walls of the Senate or the Jedi Temple OR you’re in some rented room far away from where anyone else can find you. It’s not ideal, but Obi Wan doesn’t want to risk people finding out about the two of you. It bothers you sometimes, but that’s the deal you made to be with him. When you’re in your home, you can relax and actually be together like a real couple. It’s nice, to pretend for a little while.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Competency. Seriously, the moment you give a rousing speech to the Senate or rescue him from an attack or even just hold your own in a fight, he’s practically vibrating as he waits for a moment alone with you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Age play or just a big age difference period. Padawan/Master relationships are going be thrown right out the window. He sees it in the same light as a parent and child and any reference to it genuinely turns his stomach.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He gives and receives with equal enthusiasm. The sight of your lips wrapped around his cock is mesmerizing with the added bonus of him feeling free to cum inside you at he wishes. Seeing you lick cum off your lips sends him.

At the same time, hearing the noises that spill from those lips as he goes down on you can be just as enticing. He loves the way you yank at his hair when he does something truly magic with his tongue. He loves your taste and takes a kind of pride at the bread burn on the inside of your thighs, even if you don’t always appreciate it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual is the way of the game more times than not. Like I said before, you don’t have as much time together as other couples and so Obi Wan wants to take his time with you, drawing out the pleasure for as long as he can.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

That’s going to be a negative. Quickies imply you can’t take your time because one of you has to be somewhere which means someone will come looking if you’re not there on time. Quickies can easily be lead to being caught and Obi Wan cannot relax long enough to have one.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Obi Wan really is willing to try most anything with you so long as you discuss it before hand; just so long as it’s no where near the Jedi Temple. Have a mentioned he’s completely paranoid about being caught?

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

It takes him a little while to build his stamina, given his lack of experience, but he can go for a while now. He usually is good after one round, but he makes it last as long as possible, making you cum at least twice, if not more before he does. That being said, if it’s been a really long while since you’ve seen each other, he can go for two or three. Jedi recoup powers are a very real thing.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t have any himself, but like I said he’s willing to try anything with his partner so long as they discuss it before hand.

There is something to be said for him being able to hold you down while he teases you with a vibrator and making you cum over and over again.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Once he figures out how; he’s the biggest fucking tease in the galaxy. He’ll let you linger on the edge for well over an hour before he lets you cum. And for all his talk about not getting caught, damn does he like to get you hot and bothered in public. If it wasn’t for his reputation of flirting with everyone then you’d be in much bigger trouble.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He usually a bit more quiet almost out of habit. His words never rise beyond a whisper in your ear and his muffles in moans by burying them in your skin.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He is terrified at the idea of you being pregnant; not because he doesn’t want to be a father, but because he knows he would.

When you’re together in secret, he can pretend like he can have both; being a Jedi and being with you. But, if you became pregnant? He knows he would leave the Jedi Order in a second, no questions asked. You could ask him tomorrow and he would probably say yes. The only reason why you don’t is because you know how important being a Jedi is to him. And knowing deep down inside you have that kind of power over his future terrifies him, but he loves you too much to let it scare him away.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s hung and he doesn’t even know it. It takes everything in you not to drool when you first see it; long and thick, but not so much for it to hurt. He actually ask you how he compares and you have to lie; you can’t have his ego boosted anymore or his head will explode. (He finds out later, but details)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not extremely high, but just high enough that as soon as he’s given his report to the Council after a mission he’s at your door and kissing your senseless.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Once he knows you’re comfortable, he’s out like a light. You feel a kind of pride in that, knowing that he trusts you enough to relax and actually let sleep take him.

#obi wan #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi x reader #star wars imagine #the clone wars #star wars #lemon

244 notes · View notes

faerielleart · 4 years ago

Note

GIRL GGFJFJVGDJD OK UMMM let me see... what do you like about levihan? or do you have any unpopular opinions? or headcanons!

oh boi i hope i won’t rant too much, i don’t want this answer to be a thousand miles long i don’t want to seem boring-

OKAY let’s start

What i like about levihan: i have to start with a lil background a say that levihan is my longest ship i’ve ever had, it’s the only one who survived time and the only ship i have never stopped shipping/lost interest into, which is kinda rare for me since i switch interests a lot and go through hyper-fixations, so i tend to lose interest quickly in something once i’ve found something else to pay attention to

this, however has never happened with levihan: started shipping them when i was 12, still trash 7 years later skdjdjfjf i didnt start shipping them for special reasons tho, at the time aot was my first ever still on air anime and i was completel new to the community, plus i didnt really speak english well and the first episodes i watched confused me A LOT. However, amidst all that confusion and trying to remember names and plot points, episode 9 came, i got introduced to this character who apparently is named levi, the first information the scene gives the watcher is “this guy is a grump” based on his reaction to the crowd, the second information the scene gives to the watcher is “this person next to him, despite him being a grump, isn’t afraid to tease the shit out of him and we still don’t even know their name” which i found ??? Cool??? I immediately paid attention to this lil dynamic, then the next scene was the hairgrab scene and,,,,,, yeah my 12 year old braincells went into overdrive and i was completely sold

i just needed them to interact once and BOOM

but OBJECTIVELY i still find extremely telling, years later, how these were the first informations of these characters. In a narrative, character’s introduction is absolutely crucial to the story, you can understand millions of things just by the way a character is presented and says their first lines and honestly choosing to introduce levi and hanji together was imho very, very telling of what role they’d play in the story/what role they play in each other’s lives.

isn’t it strange that the very first infirmation we get of these two is that the grumpy one is okay with this person teasing him? that means there’s gotta be a level of familiarity among them, right? and the hairgrab? requested by isayama himself? in the official book of season one it also says that the scene was added to “show their relationship”??? i mean 2+2 is 4 where i’m from 👁👄👁✨

so yeah my dumb 12 year old brain had FORESIGHT apparently-

as i picked up the manga and read through the uprising (and got older and my english got better) i noticed more and more things about them and i just really freaking fell in love with their relationship okay it wasn’t “oh cool grumpy and sunshine who teases him”, more like “holy fuck grumpy has a sad backstory, seems unapproachable but is the kindest person ever, just wants to be a hero and save everyone, has the most tender heart, sunshine is a multi dimensional character who has fears and doubts and they work so well together despite being polar opposites but at the same time their oppositeness results in somehow them being completely in sync with each other and almost thinking with the same brain as if they were one person split in half”.

since they’re grown adults and they’re so close, their relationship has something that i always seek and almost never find in other ships, which is emotional maturity. You never see them purposely tearing each other down just to hurt the other, they work out their problems and C O M M U N I C A T E ✨ they don’t act childishly around each other, they tease and bicker but it’s completely different than full blown arguments where both parts disrespect the other just to prove their point. They are willing to listen to what the other has to say and their judgment is precious and welcomed, since the basis of their relationship is complete trust. levi is rough with words, but he means something else entirely despite what he conveys, as seen during the aftermath of eren’s first hardening experiments, and hanji totally understands what he wants to say, which is why they never reprimand him or take offense to what he says.

what i’m trying to say, i believe in a way that nothing is half-assed about how they were written in the story as a pair, despite how i disagree with certain narrative choices *ahem*; as much as i would have wanted them to have more screentime and more interactions, i believe it wouldn’t have been “in character”, lemme explain because i realize it sounds weird and my wording probably doesn’t help: their relationship is subtle and as such it should remain subtle and in the subtext, simply because it is none of our business as readers. Show, not tell, but show in a way that it is evident only if you pay attention. levi is blunt when he speaks, but at the same time his words have another meaning than what he conveys and his actions are subtle.

isn’t it obvious with how often it was remarked that the only person who is able to understand levi completely is hanji? and this is where chapter 132 comes into play with this amazing analysis post that i’m sure we all read a thousand times and screamed over it

all this “ambiguity”, all this subtlety, all this subtext, all this wordplay, words that have more than one meaning, i believe are all indicators of one thing: us readers are not able to understand comple what levi wants to say and his words result ambiguous to us and not 100% clear, simply because the readers are not hanji. but fortunately, i believe that hanji understood that levi too wants to “stay in the forest”. this is not the reaction of someone who is confused by a sentence, this is the face of someone who finally had a realization:

what kind of realization? it’s not up to us to know (tho we know *wink wink*), because we’re not hanji and we can’t understand what levi says.

plus, 心臓を捧げよ, “dedicate your heart”, can hold a million different meanings. 心臓 is heart, を is a particle that denotes the object, 捧げよ is the verb “to offer, dedicate, devote, sacrifice”, there are no adjectives that indicate possession as you can see; levi using his own left (not right) fist and placing it on hanji’s chest instead of just taking hanji’s hand and placing it on their chest is ambiguous too. i interpet it in different ways but the conclusion is one, and i can’t honestly see it in any other way. one of the interpretations i like the most is that levi is implying that they both share the same heart, which is why he used his own left hand, meaning that both of them are dedicating their hearts in that moment to humanity, because they are actively choosing to put their desires aside to live a peaceful life away from everything (as jean too has wished in chapter 127, as hanji has expressed in 126 but in 127 too and jean seems taken aback by their confession) since they’re soldiers and duty comes first.

so yeah if i have to choose something i love the most about levihan, it’s gotta be the subtlety and the ambiguity that at the end of the day, is absolutely not ambiguous at all. everything is expressed for a reason, if an author actively chooses ambiguity, in this specific case of a relationship, he intends the result not to be ambiguous. it sounds like a brain fart but i blame it on my inability to articulate my thoughts well, i hope what i want to say can be understood 😭 and in a way, this can be considered as an unpopular opinion i think?

meaning that i get that commonly someone might want an explicit declaration that leaves no room to doubt and I honestly wish for it too, but I don’t think it would be in character, and the ambiguity (if we can call it that, i’m calling it that just to avoid backlash and controversy jshfsjdjmd) in this case speaks enough volumes to me considering both of the characters we’re dealing with, the story as a whole, the interactions with other characters.

ALSO going back to their bond, i want to copypaste something i posted on twitter regarding chapter 126 and the blush: it doesn't make sense, character-wise, for Hanji to feel in any way embarassed around Levi. They have no filters whatsoever around each other. They are close, closer than anyone in the series, the author hasn't shown any embarassment between them. Back in Uprising, when Hanji was hesitant and wanted out, Levi was the one who encouraged them. So, this thing has in a way already happened, since back then they admitted to wanting to abandon responsibilities to Levi's face and didn't blush. So, in 126's context, it doesn't really make sense for Hanji to blush "only because they were embarassed at being caught wanting to run away". It happened once already and there was no blush. So yeah, the blush means something else. And that something else is definitely much, much, MUCH deeper than "embarassment". 🙌

since smartpass stories can absolutely be taken as part of the canon universe as they’re supervised and approved by isayama and published with the manga, i am adding the rain story as further proof of what kind of relationship they have. also levi being a 30 year old tsundere is adorable but movING ON

SO YEAH MY FINAL TWO CENTS ARE : i love everything about levihan and there isn’t a single thing i would change, because wanting aot to be a huge slice of life of them doing the most random things just to watch them interact doesnt count sjdjfjdjdjfjsmdm, my unpopular opinion is that i find the subtlety and the ambiguity KEY to doing justice to what they have because it’s none of us readers’ business because only they are able to understand each other and i fucking LOVE that, my headcanon is that they totally kissed once during the timeskip, maybe on the first anniversary of the battle of shiganshina, i see them not being able to sleep alone and finding comfort in each other and in a moment of weakness and vulnerability they kiss, but pretend it never happened because things are messy and they can’t afford to get involved because again, duty first, but the YEARNING™️ and the PINING™️ only intensifies after that, but they manage not to make things awkward and they are close as ever.

my GOD i rewrote the odyssey, sorry 😭

#levihan #answered asks

40 notes · View notes

dolcetters · 4 years ago

Text

vanilla sunday .

no one asked, i just heckin’ felt like it m’dude. under readmore for length. i’ll try to keep my answers relatively to-the-point, too, since this’ll be a longer post but feel free to inquire on things or ... whatever u-u/ aye. i go sleep now.

is your muse a romantic? do they dream of love and marriage?

short answer: no.

as a teenager, dol didn’t have much interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with any of his peers around yuflam--or at all, really. by the time he got to academy things were either too busy or starting to get too tense for him to consider the idea. and shortly after that he went over a decade thinking he’d never even see sunlight again.

at this point, he just... --it’s just another thing he might want but doesn’t recognize it as something he wants. because he’s earnestly so bad at listening to his own desires and is more than willing to cast them aside if it means aiding someone he cares about achieve their own.

is your muse a deviant? are they overly flirtatious or forward?

no. there’s no real expansion on this, just no. <xD he tends to be much more bashful and sheepish, partially because of aforementioned inability to recognize he might want a relationship with someone. and even if he DOES realize this, he’s... extremely self aware. we’ll leave it at that.

is your muse good at kissing? are they experienced?

NOPE. and no. he’s never kissed anyone.

does your muse initiate a lot of physical contact?

nooooo no no no. he has an anxiety disorder (haphephobia) revolving around physical contact and even something as “small” as shaking hands or a shoulder bump can make him very nervous, uncomfortable and alert. the reaction is almost doubled if it comes with the sensation or energy of being grabbed.

it’s going to take a lot of time, patience, and trust for him to be comfortable initiating physical contact with you.

is your muse comfortable with public displays of affection?

no, for both the above reason as well as the paranoia that comes with being a fugitive/legally dead. the less attention that’s drawn to him, the better. at most, he’d hold your hand... but refer to the previous question for that.

does your muse steal clothing from their partner?

less “steal” and more borrow. due to having limited resources after escaping the labs and very few belongings he can truly call his own, dol wouldn’t/doesn’t just take or use things that belong to friends, family or potential partners (part of this spurs from his OWN resource guarding). he’d be more likely to approach you while you were brushing your teeth and be like “hey, s’it cool if i wear your hoodie today” and then respond based on that answer.

and he’s going to ask you every time. he doesn’t assume.

is your muse the big spoon or the little spoon?

varies! but most likely, when they’re facing each other, he little-spoons because pressing his face into the curve of the neck just above the collar is not only secure and comforting somehow, but he can hear your heartbeat.

when one of them is facing away, he tends to big spoon. --and obviously this is all assuming he’s at that level of comfort when it comes to physical touch + the partner.

is your muse comfortable with, or proud of their body? are they insecure?

complicated?

he’s very comfortable and proud of his body when it comes to his physical build, strength, fitness, etc. his strength and speed is something he values and keeping himself healthy and capable is very important to him. he knows he’s done a good job (those arms don’t lie) and he takes pride in that.

~however~, being a chimera... --he’s optimistic, yes. he’s just happy to be alive, of course. it’s not so bad. ...but he is fully, deeply, and painfully aware of how someone might react to witnessing some of his “quirks” when it comes to his splice or the idea of being with someone who isn’t entirely human. and the fact that he often became a target of light jabbing and jokes with the nesties, because dog behavior is much more well-known and commonly familiar than croc or snake or bull behavior, has only added to this awareness.

then, of course, there’s the added detail that he’s not even a perfected chimera. he’s just a successful one. a C- on some government biology test; barely passing.

so yeah. there’s some surface level pride, but... a lot of shame underneath.

is your muse attracted to any features in particular?

physical? no.

he has a soft spot and respect for people who refuse to give into their pain, though. where he experienced trauma and fear and let it make him hardened in a lot of ways, there are other people who have only become brighter, warmer, and do whatever they can to keep someone else from experiencing what they have.

to say he admires that trait in a person is an understatement.

have their crushes been mostly male, mostly female, or evenly split?

he’s only really had two, and they’ve both been gals, so i guess that makes it mostly female. i’ve mentioned before that he might have been uselessly in love with martel in the time before the raid (whether she felt the same is unknown) and he in default verse is lowkey sweet on rose.

have their partners been mostly male, mostly female, or evenly split?

he hasn’t had a partner.

is your muse easily flustered? do they blush, swear, etc.?

yes, yes, yes. him being flustered is usually a combo-result of: (1) not being used to that kind of attention from someone he actually likes, (2) having no idea how to respond, (3) internalized shame over what he is, and (4) he’s a fucking idiot.

where is your muse most sensitive?

his head, mostly, especially on his hair line and around the ears.

and i can 10000% promise to you that if he ever lets you comb your fingers in his hair or rub around his temples and you make some kind of dog-related-comment, you’re actually going to cause a shit-ton of psychic damage i’m gonna need you to roll like 10d6 for me.

please, please please please don’t ever refer to him as--or make jokes connecting him to--a dog in moments that are supposed to be vulnerable and/or intimate, i can’t... express this enough, it will hurt him.

is your muse more submissive or dominant in a relationship?

idk, i guess submissive but again: idk

would your muse ever tempt their partner, e.g. flirting, wearing tight/sexy clothing?

nah. not really his thing.

if he does “tempt” them it’s going to be sincerely accidental. like... yeah you walked in on me doing pull-ups i guess. would you hand me my water bottle? i’m parched.

does your muse initiate heated/sexual contact, or do they wait for their partner?

i feel like this question deserves it’s own post because i have a LOT of thoughts regarding rosecetto, specifically, on this topic.

outside of that ship, however, the answer is likely no. he’s not the initiator primarily for touch-anxiety reasons and also chimera-related-shame reasons, even if the partner has assured him there’s nothing wrong with him in the past.

does your muse leave hickies? do they ask for them?

eeehhhhh???? ... i guess accidentally sometimes?? and no.

does your muse like to be pinned down, or to pin their partner?

that’s a big NO. if you pin him down, even if he’s reached a point of security with you that he allows you to touch him, you’re going to flare up any of that anxiety that had previously subsided. he’s been physically restrained and held down far too long and all for bad/painful reasons, and he can’t associate it with anything other than “they’re going to hurt me and i need to get away, no matter what i have to do”.

as for pinning his partner, it’s likely also a no because he’d just... be too aware of his own trauma to even try doing it and he’d probably be uncomfortable being asked to do it.

has your muse reached first/second/third base? home run?

honey, he’s done nothing, he hasn’t even swung--

would your muse be interested in engaging with multiple partners?

no. he doesn’t see anything wrong with it when it comes to other people but this is definitely not for him or something he could be comfortable with.

would your muse ever send a sexual text message? would they send pictures?

n/a, but even in modern verses the answer would be no

does your muse read smut, own magazines, or watch p-rn?

nah

is your muse the type to discuss their sex life or sexual prowess with others?

abso. fucking lutely. not. no no no.

at absolute. MOST? he might open up to sakura (yinseal) about it. maybe greed (avadite). and it’d only be if he felt like he was doing something wrong or felt overwhelmed and self-conscious. but otherwise this is his and his partner’s business.

is your muse a top, a bottom, or a switch? do they have a lean?

defaults to bottom but will top if asked or in some circumstances.

crystal has confirmed that rose (forsakenflora) tops, so jfdlfjklsjkldhsd

how interested is your muse in sex and sexual activity?

he’s not.

it’s not a priority of his, and he definitely doesn’t want to hear about yours.

do they have sex frequently, occasionally, or rarely?

not at all right now jf kljdklhshf lhfklsdg

#♠: prompted headcanons .#////nsfw /// / /#////suggestive // // ///#[ and with that i bid you goodnight ]

5 notes · View notes

blog-cosmosuniverse1 · 3 years ago

Text

What Can Go Wrong?

One key take-home from the Nature Reviews Drug Discovery article5 cited above is that replacing rare codons “must be used judiciously,” as rarer codons can have slower translation rates and a slowed-down rate is actually necessary to prevent protein misfolding.

The spike protein is the toxic part of the virus responsible for the most unique effects of the virus, such as the blood clotting disorders, neurological problems and heart damage. To expect the COVID shot to not produce these kinds of effects would be rather naïve.

A (adenine) and U (uracil) in the third position are rare, and the COVID shots replace these A’s and U’s with G’s (guanine) or C’s (cytosine). According to Seneff, this switch results in a 1,000-fold greater amount of spike protein compared to being infected with the actual virus.

What could go wrong? Well, just about anything. Again, the shot induces spike protein at levels unheard of in nature (even if SARS-CoV-2 is a “souped up” manmade concoction), and the spike protein is the toxic part of the virus responsible for the most unique effects of the virus, such as the blood clotting disorders, neurological problems and heart damage.

So, to expect the COVID shot to not produce these kinds of effects would be rather naïve. The codon switches might also result in protein misfolding, which is equally bad news. As explained by Seneff in our previous interview:

“The spike proteins that these mRNA vaccines are producing … aren’t able to go into the membrane, which I think is going to encourage it to become a problematic prion protein. Then, when you have inflammation, it upregulates alpha-synuclein [a neuronal protein that regulates synaptic traffic and neurotransmitter release].

So, you're going to get alpha-synuclein drawn into misfolded spike proteins, turning into a mess inside the dendritic cells in the germinal centers in the spleen. And they're going to package up all this crud into exosomes and release them. They’re then going to travel along the vagus nerve to the brainstem and cause things like Parkinson's disease.

So, I think this is a complete setup for Parkinson's disease ... It's going to push forward the date at which someone who has a propensity towards Parkinson's is going to get it.

And it's probably going to cause people to get Parkinson's who never would have gotten it in the first place — especially if they keep getting the vaccine every year. Every year you do a booster, you bring the date that you're going to get Parkinson's ever closer.”

Immune Dysfunction and Viral Flare-Ups

Other significant threats include immune dysfunction and the flare-up of latent viral infections, which is something Mikovits has been warning about. In our previous interview, she noted:

“We use poly(I:C) [a toll-like receptor 3 agonist] to signal the cell to turn on the type I interferon pathway, and because [the spike protein your body produces in response to the COVID shot] is an unnatural synthetic envelope, you're not seeing poly(I:C), and you're not [activating] the Type I interferon pathway.

You've bypassed the plasmacytoid dendritic cell, which combined with IL-10, by talking to the regulatory B cells, decides what subclasses of antibodies to put out. So, you've bypassed the communication between the innate and adaptive immune response. You now miss the signaling of the endocannabinoid receptors …

A large part of Dr. [Francis] Ruscetti’s and my work over the last 30 years has been to show you don't need an infectious transmissible virus — just pieces and parts of these viruses are worse, because they also turn on danger signals. They act like danger signals and pathogen-associated molecular patterns.

So, it synergistically leaves that inflammatory cytokine signature on that spins your innate immune response out of control. It just cannot keep up with the myelopoiesis [the production of cells in your bone marrow]. Hence you see a skew-away from the mesenchymal stem cell towards TGF-beta regulated hematopoietic stem cells.

This means you could see bleeding disorders on both ends. You can't make enough firetrucks to send to the fire. Your innate immune response can't get there, and then you've just got a total train wreck of your immune system.”

We’re now seeing reports of herpes and shingles infection following COVID-19 injection, and this is precisely what you can expect if your Type I interferon pathway is disabled. That’s not the end of your potential troubles, however, as these coinfections could accelerate other diseases as well.

For example, herpes viruses have been implicated as a trigger of both AIDS6 and myalgic encephalomyelitis7 (chronic fatigue syndrome or ME-CFS). According to Mikovits, these diseases don’t appear until viruses from different families partner up and retroviruses take out the Type 1 interferon pathway. Long term, the COVID mass injection campaign may be laying the foundation for a rapidly approaching avalanche of a wide range of debilitating chronic illnesses.

Are COVID Shots Appropriately Optimized?

As noted in the Vaccines article cited earlier, the codon optimization in the Pfizer and Moderna shots could be problematic:8

“As mammalian host cells attack unmodified exogeneous RNA, all U nucleotides were replaced by N1-methylpseudouridine (Ψ). However, Ψ wobbles more in base-pairing than U and can pair not only with A and G, but also, to a lesser extent, with C and U.

This is likely to increase misreading of a codon by a near-cognate tRNA. When nucleotide U in stop codons was replaced by Ψ, the rate of misreading of a stop codon by a near-cognate tRNAs increased.

Such readthrough events would not only decrease the number of immunogenic proteins, but also produce a longer protein of unknown fate with potentially deleterious effects …

The designers of both vaccines considered CGG as the optimal codon in the CGN codon family and recoded almost all CGN codons to CGG … [M]ultiple lines of evidence suggest that CGC is a better codon than CGG. The designers of the mRNA vaccines (especially mRNA-1273) chose a wrong codon as the optimal codon.”

The paper also points out the importance of vaccine mRNA to be translated accurately and not merely effectively, because if the wrong amino acids are incorporated, it can confuse your immune system and prevent it from identifying the correct targets.

Accuracy is also important in translation termination, and here it comes down to selecting the correct stop codons. Stop codons (UAA, UAG or UGA), when present at the end of an mRNA coding sequence signals the termination of protein synthesis.

According to the author, both Pfizer and Moderna selected less than optimal stop codons. “UGA is a poor choice of a stop codon, and UGAU in Pfizer/BioNTech and Moderna mRNA vaccines could be even worse,” she says.

What Health Problems Can We Expect to See More Of?

While the variety of diseases we may see a rise in as a result of this vaccination campaign are myriad, some general predictions can be made. We’ve already seen a massive uptick in blood clotting disorders, heart attacks and stroke, as well as heart inflammation.

More long term, Seneff believes we’ll see a significant rise in cancer, accelerated Parkinson's-like diseases, Huntington's disease, and all types of autoimmune diseases and neurodegenerative disorders.

Mikovits also suspects many will develop chronic and debilitating diseases and will die prematurely. At highest risk, she places those who are asymptomatically infected with XMRVs and gammaretroviruses from contaminated conventional vaccines. The COVID shot will effectively accelerate their death by crippling their immune function. “The kids that are highly vaccinated, they're ticking time bombs,” Mikovits said in my May 2021 interview.

What Are the Options?

While all of this is highly problematic, there is hope. From my perspective, I believe the best thing you can do is to build your innate immune system. To do that, you need to become metabolically flexible and optimize your diet. You’ll also want to make sure your vitamin D level is optimized to between 60 ng/mL and 80 ng/mL (100 nmol/L to 150 nmol/L).

I also recommend time-restricted eating, where you eat all your meals for the day within a six- to eight-hour window. Time-restricted eating will also upregulate autophagy, which may help digest and remove spike protein. Avoid all vegetable oils and processed foods. Focus on certified-organic foods to minimize your glyphosate exposure.

Sauna therapy may also be helpful. It upregulates heat shock proteins, which can help refold misfolded proteins. They also tag damaged proteins and target them for removal.

1 note · View note

peachyunjinnie · 4 years ago

Note

any blogs you wanna send love to? they don't have to be writers— i'm trying to prove a point here!❤️️❤️️

this is 1.5k and is officially more than most of my fics- ENJOY I GUESS??

@ammuqwer Alice, i love you and your lovely compliments you give me all the time to hype me up :’). you are so talented and such an amazing writer and friend. i could not tell you how fUNNY YOU ARE ecila sotl uoy evol i ;)💗

@bangchanismybias i don’t even know how to tell you how much you mean to me with all the support you give me with EVERY SINGLE POST I MAKE it’s so crazy the amount of happiness you bring me when i see your name pop up with every post on my phone! love you!!!💗

@channiesmixtape woody :( ugh where the actual heck should i start? you are for real the biggest and coolest writer that i know one here and with the amazing jungwoo content you give us is just-😞 you are one of the big writers that inspired me to write as well and that was one of the best decisions i could have made on here, to switch from reader to writer! i love you and your selcas! (forreal you is a goddess)💗

@chanonymous s n e h a m y p u p p y m o m i am your problematic cutie and i love it! we don’t interact as much as we could but the times we do i really have such an amazing time to talk to you and talk about stuff that are just often talked about! i seriously learned some physics for you and i cannot believe that i did but i would do it again for you💗

@cherryeol04 CHERRY! okay, you are so cute and so adorable idK WHY BUT YOU ARE!!! you deserve so much and nothing but the absolute best! your fics are really so well written and you are one of the most underrated artists on here. you really create art on here and that’s nothing but the truth. i love you and i wish to reach your level of writing one day!💗

@doubleknot42 sky!! wow! we haven’t talked in a hot minute but your cute little outfit shows would make my day brighter and better! just to see that is so adorable and how you would thrist over Conan is so relatable! i love you so so much and i wish you nothing but the very very best!!!💗

@gabiog1me gabiiii! i know we just started talking but you are so nice and kind already! it’s actually pretty cool to see and have some black friends on here and kind of have the ability to rant over some stuff that someone with a darker skin color would understand better! and your music taste is A+!!! you are amazing and your a-z is on the way;)💗

@jisungsjheekies lin! you are really with woodles and nicole the biggest blogs that are supporting me and i could not tell you how that literally boosted my energy and my ideas to post! your appreciation posts were just something i would see every single day and would really love! you are such a great writer and your selca is WOW just WOW- love ya!!💗

@kinkywoojins SAMMY SAM! okay okay, the moment i realized that i know you hoe i was 😦 like just 😦. DESTINY IS SUCH AN AMAZING THING HAHAHA i love you mom and i love your posts! if you post again i can bet my left eyebrow i will be the first one to read the masterpiece. AND YOU ARE SO SO GORGEOUS LIKE WOW- THE DOUBLE KNOT PHOTOSHOOT WAS A WHOLE AESTHETIC- i love you so sooooo much!!💗

@lordseochangbin Mel, you are probably really one of the accounts that has the best humor. when you post some crackhead posts i just always have to lie down to calm down and not have an asthma attack and die. PLUS you are so talented! the tennis fic was fuCK so GOOD!! i am so honored to say that you my friend on here! love uuu uwu💗

@lixieslexie LEXIE! okay okay okay. you made me nearly cry when you said that you watched Ghibli movies and I COULD NOT PUT IN WORDS HOW PROUD I AM you are really so pure and such a sweetheart and you have found my softspot some way and now you are my C U T I E. i love u💗

@mrbangchannie meggie meg :) you are so precious and you are so crazy! you are an amazing writer, a beauty, crackhead humor queen and such an amazing friend! we have to talk more and send some crackhead pics cuz i need to send it to someone on here but no one would really get it tbh💀💗

@mikoto-ica-fics m i c a okay so, YOUR DEMON EYE PIC WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND I AM NOT KIDDING YOU ARE SO SO SO SO PRETTY!! I COULD NOT BELIEVE TO SEE THE EVERY SINGLE ONE ON HERE IS SO GORGEOUS AND THEN THERE’S ME LIKE WOW JUST WOW UNFAIRNESS AT AN ENTIRE DIFFERENT LEVEL- but you are such a pure person and your writing skill is another level of genius. love yuuuu💗

@mini-meanhoe summi🥺 i can’t believe that you are FINALLY my friend and now that we are and the pics you send me of bald stray kids i really do not regret it a SINGLE bit. BUT YOUR FLIRTY ASS NEEDS TO STOP like i kinda just have a constant bellyache from laughing because you of your flirty actions- you are the death of me and i am really not minding it at all hshshhah. also your writing is so good and you have to continue cuz nabi needs more to read! i LOVE you💗

@nightshade-minho miKA i love you and you are so hardworking and i really admire you on another level. i wish i could maintain such a huge blog like yours! you are really a mAgIcAL person cuz no way a normal human being is so cute and talented. when i saw that you’re following me i shit you not i had a 20 minute happydance in my room- imma end this before i expose my cringy ass too much, i luv u💗

@particularemu nicole! we haven’t interacted really but i really had to say this if you see this or something! you are awesome! you are great! you are incredible, you are wonderful! i love you and your sometimes random hyunjin reblogs and i could not get enough of them! i love you lots💗

@starryseung ivy, i saw that the admin changed into mia so imma just say that you both are great and i really love to read the various posts and just to scroll on the dashboard to see your posts! i love you two and you two are really so special!💗

@seungmins-sunshine ANNA I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU nothing else to say than that💗

@shari-skz shari! a fellow hyunjin stan and basically my sister...? anna’s family is complicated and i am so confused with who i am related to on here bUT what was about to say is that you brighten up everyone on here so much through the many hateful and irrelevant anons! i love your child ass and i hope we can talk more in the future!💗

@thevampywarlock aShY AsH I LOVE YOU. I SEE YOU AND I INSTANTLY UWU HARD IDK WHY BUT THE ENERGY YOU GIVE OFF IS SO CUTE I CAN’T EVEN STAY NORMAL AND I HOPE YOU CAN ALWAY COME TO ME WHEN YOU NEED TO AND WHEN YOU FEEL SAD OR SOMETHING CUZ I WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY AGAIN💗

@vocalyunhoamelie!!!! the way we first interacted was so weird and so cool at the same time! and the anonie you gave me on your blog really just hits different🥺 and it will stay our little secret hehee i love you and i hope i can get into more of your ateez work!!!💗

@yangomangos MANGOS! mh where to start, you are so adorable and so...idk just give me cute vibes? i was the most nervous little shit to text you because you kinda seemed like a celebrity to me JHGSJHGJASHHI with all of your work being out there and just thriving! you are such a baby and i will not argue over you being a baby! i love you and i really hope we can have better days in the future!💗

@yoyo-mans haya! i really don’t even know where to start with you! you are really such a huge huge friend for me and i couldn't tell you if i would be still here without you by my side. i want you to know that you are absolutely amazing and beautiful! i love you so much and i hope we can make many memories together!💗

30 notes · View notes

myheroacademiashorts · 5 years ago

Note

Tokoyami x reader where the reader gets suspicious of the fact that Tokoyami and Tsuyu are hanging out often? She gets jealous and confronts Tokoyami about it? Ends in fluff, please. Thank you!!

HI AGAIN IM SO SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG AND THANK U FOR YOUR PATIENCE!!! I struggled a lot with this piece because I really didn’t wanna see the birb boi sad or struggling, he’s baby. (But Jody, you make the y/n character and others sad so why does-) OKAY ANYWAYS SORRY AGAIN, and I love you

Title: Rip It Off Like A Bandaid

Pairing: Tokoyami Fumikage x Reader

Rating: Fluff, Slight Angst

Words: 2,491

——————————————

You knew Tokoyami still liked you… At least, you were pretty damn sure he did.

You glanced over at the scene again, brows furrowing as you watched your boyfriend duck his head closer to Tsuyu as the pair whispered. The two had been spending a lot of time together, and while you knew they were friends long before you came into the picture, their abnormal closeness over the last few days was starting to rub you the wrong way. Tsuyu was sweet; a bit blunt sometimes, but there wasn’t anything wrong with that. Tokoyami also wasn’t the type to cheat… So why did that thought keep rising to the front of your mind?

“Are you alright? You look like you’re ready to wring someone’s neck.”

You heaved your attention away from the pair to meet the familiar gaze of your friend Jiro, and plastered on a smile. “Is it that obvious?”

“Honestly?”

You sighed, running a hand through your (H/C) locks as you stared at the surface of your desk. “Am I overreacting? I feel like I am.” You skipped your eyes over to Tokoyami and Tsuyu once more, this time with a glare.

“Maybe. Why don’t you just ask him?”

“No!”

Now Jiro was sighing. “This is why I’m still single.” She grumbled, directing her attention back to the front of the classroom. You rolled your eyes at her comment. “Don’t act like you wouldn’t jump Momo’s bones if she gave you the chance.” You whispered with a devious smirk, and Jiro snapped her attention back to you quickly.

Before she could retort, the bell sounded overhead, signalling lunch. You were still smiling when you stood up, but your joy quickly evaporated when you noticed Tokoyami scamper out behind Tsuyu, not even bothering to try and invite you to eat lunch with him. Your frown deepened with a sinking heart. You weren’t the only one to notice your boyfriend’s quick escape, and Jiro’s gaze was heavy on your shoulders. “C’mon, let’s grab grub.” She said, grabbing your arm and leading you out of the room. Her words went, unresponded, as you let your thoughts cloud with jealousy.

—————————————

You ended up isolating yourself at lunch, leaving Jiro in the cafeteria and meeting up once more for class. She didn’t question your disappearance, and a part of you was glad that she didn’t; Jiro understood that you needed some time to yourself. Especially with All Might’s class coming up, and the energy it’d take out of you.

“I AM COMING THROUGH THE DOOR!” The booming voice was followed with the hero, who posed in the front of the room. “Young heroes! Today, we shall be sparing with one another! To the training grounds!”

Everyone filed out of the classroom, Uraraka and Midoriya on either side of you as you walked. Ahead of your group was, just as you guessed, Tokoyami and Tsuyu together once more. They weren’t clinging to one another, but every time his shoulder brushed hers, you felt yourself tense up. Uraraka noticed as well, and you could feel her gaze brush over you every so often as Midoriya continued to jabber on about the newest heroes that had hit the media.

“FOR TODAY, YOUNG HEROES, WE WILL ACT OUT A HOSTAGE SITUATION.” The familiar booming voice was back, this time louder as ever as he zoomed in front of the students. “One student shall act as the hostage, one as the villian, and the last as the hero! Heros and villians, move to change into your hero costumes as you are split into your groups! I shall choose your teams!”

Uraraka turned to you with bright eyes! “Wow! I hope I get chosen as a villain! Remember when Iida was paired up with Bakugou, and did that creepy laugh?” You cracked a small grin at the memory.

“I was simply getting into character!” The boy approached you from behind, arms hanging stiffly beside his body as his glasses gleamed.

“Yeah, but you took it to another level!”

“It was called acting!”

The two bickered back and forth, with you and Midoriya staring at them with amused faces. The green-haired boy turned to you with a smile. “What about you, (Y/N)? Do you have a preference?”

“Not really. Hero, of course, but I’ll have fun either way. What about you?”

He blushed. “Ah! Hero, of course! Just like our teacher.” He cast a glance at All Might, nothing but adoration in his eyes as he stared at the pro-hero. You could practically see the fanboy hearts in his gaze. You grinned. “Wanting to mirror your idol, huh?” You voiced your thoughts bluntly, and Midoriya turned even redder, if that were possible.

Before he could reply, All Might called out your name, causing you to whip your attention to him. Behind him was a large screen, which displayed the names of you and your teammates. Your gaze darkened.

“For Team F, we will have Y/N as the hostage, Tokoyami as the Villian, and Asui as the hero! Please wait for your turn patiently! Next we have…”

You tuned out his words, and looked towards Tokoyami and Tsuyu curiously. They hadn’t even turned to your direction, and instead were in deep conversation. Tokoyami looked nervous, his eyes straying to his shoes. The pair moved towards the changing rooms, picking up the familiar metal suitcases beside the rooms and disappearing through the lady’s and men’s rooms. Uraraka was by you in an instant as soon as they were out of sight, and grabbed your hand. She squeezed it reassuringly. “Are you okay with this? I can ask All Might if I can switch with you, if you want.” Her offer made you smile softly.

“I’ll be alright. Thank you, though.” You clasp her one hand, with both of yours, grinning before releasing her and squaring your shoulders. Soon after, your boyfriend and his frog-like friend came back out to the waiting area, still far too close for comfort and voiced hushed. You watched patiently as the groups before yours went by, eyes darting between the bright screen and Tokoyami. Uraraka was in the group before your own, and she did amazingly well as a villain; setting up traps and defeating Kaminari in record time. And soon enough, it was time to shine. As Team E stepped off from the training grounds, you moved forward, steps ahead of your other two teammates as you marched up the staircase and sat down in the fold-out chair, arms crossed over your chest protectively.

A few seconds passed by as you sat in silence, before the familiar bird-like head entered your view. Tokoyami seemed to avoid your gaze. He entered the room with quiet footsteps, his gaze flickering from the doorway to the legs of the chair that you sit in, or maybe your shoes; you weren’t sure, and a large part of you didn’t care too much. Just the fact that his amber eyes wouldn’t lift to meet your E/C ones left your heart with an ache. The draped cape of his hero costume swayed as he entered into the room a bit further with a few hesitant steps, and finally he looked at you.

And stayed completely silent.

You pursued your lips as he glanced away once more, instead focusing on the tips of his boots. “Hello, y/n.” His voice still held its usual coolness, and you frowned. It had been a handful of days since the last time Tokoyami had spoken to you, when he had bid you goodnight before disappearing into his bedroom. Even remembering that action had upset you, since it was a Friday night, meaning that you and Tokoyami usually spent the entire evening camped out in your bedroom watching B-rated horror films until one of you eventually fell asleep. You let it slide, though, not thinking much of it. From outside, you heard the loud alarm for the exercise to start; no doubt that Tsuyu was already on her way over to you.

Your eyes slitted into a glare as you stared at Tokoyami. You scoffed. “‘Hello’? After five days of radio silence, that’s the only thing you say?” A part of you hate to sound so bratty, but another part wanted him to know how hurt, how betrayed you felt because of him.

He kept quiet, only spurring you on further. “I mean, come on! What did you expect me to say? ‘Oh, hello my honey bunches! Have I missed you so! Wherefore art thou been?’” You tilted your head at the side and clasped you hands beside your neck dramatically, as if acting out a part in a play. Then, you were glaring again. “You’ve ignored me for over a week, and instead you’ve been clinging to the side of another girl, and you weren’t expecting any backlash, huh? I mean, come on. Were you even thinking about my feelings, or have you already replaced me with Tsuyu in your mind?”

You already felt shitty for bringing Tsuyu’s name into your argument, but the way his eyes narrowed made you feel even worse. “Tsuyu is a friend and nothing more. Also, I was unaware that you were feeling… Unhappy. Why didn’t you-”

“Go talk to you about it? Maybe because you’ve been avoiding me like the Black Plague.” You snorted, and now you were avoiding Tokoyami’s insistent red eyes as he stared at you blankly. You swallowed dryly, contemplating your next words. “… Look, if you want to break up with me, just do it now and get it over with. Like ripping off a bandaid.” Your voice cracked at the end of your sentence, eyes misty as you internally commanded yourself to get control of your emotions. First you were practically screaming, and now you were about to cry? You weren’t usually this flippant with your feelings. It made you feel weak, like you were back in middle school; not the student of a prestigious hero course.

Tokoyami sputtered, tripping over his own words. “Break- what- where did you get the idea that I didn’t like you anymore?” He was as still as a dead man, feet away from you with wide eyes.

“I told you why.” You looked up from staring down at your shoes.

He looked away, guiltily, but quickly redirected his attention to you once more. He was fidgeting, hands clasped in front of his stomach nervously. A part of you wanted to hear his explanation, whether it be good or bad, while the other part of you wanted to jump out of your chair and vault yourself out of the window. The latter option was beginning to look a lot more appealing the longer the silence stretched on. Finally, he spoke.

“I did not mean to ignore you, and it was not my intention to make you feel as though I’ve forgotten you. But there was something I needed advice on, and I trusted Tsuyu to help me with that aspect.” He cleared his throat before continuing. “This was… not the ideal way that I had wanted to do this. However, it was my mistake for making you feel inferior in my life, so I hope my actions will make up for it.”

He stepped forward, bending down on one knee in front of you. Automatically you froze in your chair. Oh my god, is he planning to propose? We haven’t even been together that long, let alone kiss, and we’re still in high school and oh my god. Your thoughts were jumbled, tumbling over one another in a panicked pace as you stared at your boyfriend, your E/C eyes wide and your hand trembling as they gripped down on your seat.

“Y/N, my love… My queen of darkness.” He pulled out a velvet box from inside of his cape. “I wanted this moment to be one that you would hold dear to your heart and remember for the rest of your life. I know we haven’t talked about it much, but… I love you. I love you with all of my existence. You are the light of my life, the sunlight that brightens my gloomy evenings every day… I love you. I promise to stay faithful by your side, from today until death takes me from you. Will you accept this promise gift, and me along with it?” He popped open the lid of the box, and sitting snugly inside was a ring. You breathed in a sigh of relief - you definitely weren’t going to say yes if he was proposing, nope, definitely not - but this was different.

A small grin grew on your lips as you nodded, and Tokoyami plucked the ring from its holster and helped to slide it onto your awaiting finger, where it fit perfectly. The band was a dark grey, onyx stones dotting its outside with a drop-shaped diamond in the center. It reflected your boyfriend perfectly. “It’s beautiful.” You voiced your thoughts aloud, and you didn’t miss the way Tokoyami ducked his head, no doubt trying to hide his blush, despite the fact that you couldn’t see it underneath his layer of feathers.

“So this was what you were planning with Tsuyu? You weren’t cheating on me?”

Tokoyami frantically shook his head. “I would never! In the words of Kirishima, that would be an unmanly thing for me to do. But yes, she did aid me with finding the perfect ring… And I had been planning to take you underneath the cherry blossoms to offer it to you, since Tsuyu had notified me that it would be a suitable setting, but that did not happen.” He smiled. “Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”

A blush rose to your cheeks, all of your negative feelings gone as you stared down at the new piece of jewelry that decorated your hand in awe. Your heart was swollen with love, and you looked back to Tokoyami with all of your emotions. “I-I love you, too. And I’ll be by your side forever.” You leaned forward, hands placed on either side of Tokoyami’s cheeks, and placed a small kiss on the tip of his beak. While you couldn’t see the blush that adorned his cheeks, you could definitely feel it as his face quickly warmed underneath your small palms.

It wasn’t until after the two of you had descended down the stairs that you forgot all about the camera in the corner of the hostage room, showing the live feed of you and Tokoyami’s interaction to all of your fellow classmates. You didn’t hear the end of it for weeks, especially from Tsuyu (who you immediately apologized to for your dark thoughts), yet you didn’t mind the chatter too much. Because whenever you glanced down at your ring, the symbol of love from the one man you held dearest to your heart, the only thing you could do was smile.

And smile, you did.

136 notes · View notes